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icharchivist · 3 years

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hello icha!!!!! learned from my mistakes and typed this out in a separate document. first i have to say im feeling a very deep connection with citron as of late bc i was giving myself a pep talk abt like physics and i told myself "face up and man the music!" and was like "...is that wrong. theres that song called man against the music isnt there... yeah it must be right" and. well i realized later. i also think the phrase "dont cry because it happened, smile because its over" is very good. also I’m halfway thru creating a very eclectic list of like. a Pokémon team for each a3 character which is… something. kinda knew it would happen to me. might take a while for me to finish it tho now that I’m halfway bc I’m suddenly having a crisis like “wait shit I’m only confident on my understanding and characterizing of like 4 characters am I good enough” so… it’s slow going lol. anyways. i finished that damn physics thing I was giving myself a pep talk about and so am treating myself to autumn/winter. happens that watching these events is also like. the only thing which reminds me to actually like. log into a3 lol. i am so bad at gacha games. probably a good thing in the long run. ok starting from the top!

hisoka going "zzz" as his reaction made me immediately go... oh dear, please dont fall asleep in the bath and guess what happened. yeah. good thing homare was there lol. speaking of i fucking adore homare and his poetry. id buy his collection. i also wish there was a collection like if there was a master list of every poem he says in like. at the very least main story. if not i will literally do it myself. i love homare so much im like him in that back when i had to play dodgeball id always be like kufufufu they cant hit me if im friendless enough that no one pays attention to me but like in my case it actually worked out. on the subject of the pillow fight tho, hisoka's crazy strong pillow fight throw... one more mark on the list for suspicious, maybe assassin occupation. this event made me realize how much i missed winter like. i saw the stranger pretty recently (which has caused the effect of be being like "taichi!! thats my boy!!" in my head everytime he shows up lol but anyways i havent gotten to a winter play yet so im VERY hype. especially bc this seems like it stars hisoka and homare??? like oh!! oh!!!! also detective fiction... im swooning. i also just enjoy the hisoka homare dynamic a whole fucking lot i think its nice how homare was like "yeah im ride or die for this funky lil amnesiac, why wouldnt you be?" and its just like. nice. feel like hes always reaching out to hisoka which is like. man homare is so nice.

back to chronology. ofc sakyo goes cheap for the hot springs lol. on brand as ever. was very hype for the azuma sakyo dynamic bc all i remember is like azuma trashing everyone including sakyo at some game or the other in one of the winter chapters and it was very good. or was this a clip in like a stage play? either way it was delightful. at first i misinterpreted taichi going "…" after azuma and sakyo said theyd never been on a field trip bc like. taichi being quiet or noncommunicative... after going thru autumn troupe act 1 it makes me fear for my life a little lol. anyways im glad he was just like planning fun times. speaking of taichi tho we got a tasuku taichi pair for etudes!!!! im not spoiling myself for later events but i hope to GOD tasuku and taichi do like a lead co lead in SOMETHING or at least like some mixed troupe event i want them to talk!!!

also dunno if this is an intentional pun but i enjoy that its called high spirits at the hot spring bc like oh theyre having fun but also bc like. "spirits" is used to refer to a certain type of alcohol i think? which is cool. dunno if its intentional but i liked that. anyways the talent show. taichis moving rendition of single ladies... ok i know it said single fellas but like. we know. wonder if that line was a different song in japanese? its not too old at ALL tho imo. anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment... flashback to when banri slaps juza live on stage instead of doing a stage slap lol. my reaction to azuma essentially went:

azuma: I can offer to bare my soul, and a little more ;)

izumi: what do u mean by that???

me: hey tasuku and omi were shirtless what's ur problem with azuma

anyways i reread and from what i understand they were maybe only flexing and doing a gun show? which like. no wonder it didnt last too long then lol. also explains why they didnt have shirtless sprites i suppose lmao. i am SO curious abt what azuma ended up doing tho that fade to black is so mysterious! did he tap dance? did he pole dance? the world will never know...

oh also im not like super familiar with azuma yet but my read on his personality is definitely like "I am so touch starved All The Time but I will be chill. :) :) this is fine :)" like he just seems to rly like being around people! just like basking in presence whether or not hes rly talking that much.

i enjoyed that juza mentioned pillow fighting with his lil brother... thats nice! i think a lot of this event was just focused on ppl having fun over the drama lol bc it got wrapped up sooo quick. i liked the bit where sakyos worried that izumi was out late searching for him tho it was so sweet. table tennis match was very fun although id argue calling hisoka and juza the two quietest tho lol like... banri exists so juza isnt quiet. just like inevitably. finally, the event cg!!! azumas hair tied up... so nice! thats how I tie my hair up sometimes tho it doesnt look nearly as nice lol. taichi rambling abt his first love for so long tho... lol. ill be honest i have to reread autumn bc i was not aware of this whole situation until it came up in the stranger and i like inferred from there. the end of this event was nice! it was cute. i dont rly have much thoughts on it but im so hype for the winter play

Hello:!!! so good to see you again, freshly learning from your mistakes then :3c

the connection with Citron is a BLAST to read about. I am glad that Citron is there, on your mind, supporting you at every turns of language. It's beautiful.

AND OH THE POKEMON LIST!!! thrilled to hear about it being a wip ongoing! take your time ofc and i hope you'll feel more confident as you go for your characters interpretation! i believe in you!

lmao i'm glad the events help you remember to play a3, i'm sure that by the time you'll be done with the events you will have unlocked so much of act 2 you won't have to worry too much about it. Anyway i'm glad you treat yourself to good things :3c

of course Hisoka fell asleep in the bath. tbh this event was a lot of "Hisoka almost dies in a spring house multiple times if it wasn't for his troupesmates". Between sleeping in the bath and almost swallowing the table tenis ball... where would we be without Winter, and especially Homare, taking care fo him.

I'm SO GLAD you like Homare that much! he's so so good! i'm sure there must be a masterlist somewhere, or well. can be done anytime i guess?? but yeah Homare is fantastic and LDJFDLKFJDF the evil plan to avoid dodgeball from both of you.. this is incredible DLKJFDLKF. But yeah alas he's loved by his own so he gets hit smh.

And yeah Hisoka is just acting sus huh.

BUT YEAH... YEAH... WINTER... BELOVED.... I feel regular and normal feelings for Winter as you know, s o .

(i'm so delighted that you feel that way about Taichi though, as he deserves!! what a good boy!!!)

But yeah Winter play next!!!!! i love the winter plays so much i hope you'll like it as well!! aND YEAH HISOKA AND HOMARE AS A DUO... for a DETECTIVE story?? so good.

I'm sO GLAD you like their dynamic! yeah i adore it too. Homare was so quick to leap into taking care of Hisoka? Like i mean he immediatly called him sleeping beauty when they first met, and immediately decided to be his roommates to watch over him, and then he did everything to take care of him and it's just so sweet. Homare has such a big heart he's so gentle with Hisoka. Homey and comfortable, whenever Hisoka admits it or not ahah.

ahah wouldn't be Sakyo if he didn't need to stay cheap. BUT YEAH the Sakyo/Azuma dynamic is pretty good. oh the event you talk about i think is in some of his very first backstage storyes (that you can read if you have them since they're at this point of the chronology). There's one where they play a mafia game and Sakyo is warry of Azuma because "people like him are those you need to worry about the most" and Azuma is just ":) you wound me :) i would never :)" and then Azuma wins the game and starts to mess with everyone. It was so fun. and yeah i see which clip you mean for the stage play!! it's so so fun they have such a neat dynamic and i loved to see it in this event as well.

and omg worrying about Taichi while he was just there preparing a fun time! this child really would have worried us all back then huh

but AHH YEAH TASUKU TAICHI.... It's such a neat dynamic! ofc i won't say anything but man i love the potential of their stories, as the two ex Godza boys. To see them bond and be comfortable with each other always make me so soft.

OH NICE CATCH FOR THE PUN! i think it must be the reason for it tbh, i love it! thanks for pointing it out!

The talent show was really fun yeah ahah! I wonder what it is in Japanese too but at least the localization was hella fun!

"anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment." THEY'RE SO SILLY I love them so much

AND LMAO YOUR REACTION AT AZUMA I LOVE IT. YEah i think Tasuku and Omi are just flexing (which is Still. SO FUNNY. Just there saying "our talents is.. our muscles...") meanwhile Azuma is like "my talent is that i'm crazy hot :)"

But YEAH Azuma... AZUMA WHAT DID YOU DO....

your read on Azuma's personality feels pretty spot on to me ahah omg. Staying with what you know about him, the fact that with his job and all, he seems like he's starving for connection while also terrified to make himself emotionally vulnerable. He loves staying with people, listening to them, caring for them, and he's touch starved as hell (i mean it's his job) but he doesn't seem to really know how to be on the receiving hand of affection. there's a flair talk, i can't remember where, with Omi at some point, where Azuma compliments him, and Omi is just "mhm.. but you know i think that it's more about you" and ends up complimenting Azuma in depth and it let Azuma dumbfounded because he didn't expect Omi to trick him at his own game, while Omi just genuinely don't get why Azuma is reacting that way. He gives he gives he gives, and he's genuinely happy with that, but he seems to have difficulties to take, or to demand for something, while also starving for it. I have so many emotions for Azuma.

Any mentions of Juza's little bro are the best things. I love this type of mention TwT

And yeah it was such a laid back event. Honestly deserved after the crying fest that was The Stranger imo. It's good to relax once in a while and it was nice to have them have fun. There was the bitterness of both Azuma and Sakyo's past that was always a bit looming but everyone was working so hard for them to enjoy themselves that the joy just overtake any sadness i loved it.

Sakyo worrying about Izumi is always adorable TwT

And yeah the Table Tennis match was so fun and chaotic LMAO. I love the dynamic between Juza and Hisoka. Just two usually quiet boys who like sweets. Except that yeah like you say, as long as Banri is around, Juza cannot be 100% quiet. Rip.

THE CG WAS SO PRETTY i loved seeing it. And omg you can share your hairtips with Azuma how nice :D Azuma manages to make everything look beautiful smh....

Oh yeah Taichi and his first love! if i recall he mentions it quickly at the begining, that Yuki reminds him of his first love, and he says that again at some point - then the fake Portrait he does he mentions his first love again. And since then it's been a reccuring topic so yeh :3c

but yeah! this event was really sweet and laid back, not much to say about it, but it was nice to have it at all!

Hope you'll like the winter play :3c

Take care and thank you again for your thoughts <33 i love reading them!! bless you!!

#ichafantalks a3 #sonnets of beauty #ichareply

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rawmeknockout · 4 years

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since i havent discussed my thots for a while lets get into that

so im a little conflicted on the way some bots got a redemption arc from idw while others (starscream for ex) didnt really,,, get to be the “hero” while alive; now i guess you could boil that down to their personalities and motivations, Star has always been very arrogant and power driven so it makes sense for his arc to be focused on that but throughout his storyline he changes in some ways while also just,,,, dying at the end

whereas characters like Drift and Cyclonus, former Decepticons, change their motivations (in Cyc’s case i suppose he never considered himself a true Con but i mean come on) and are proven to be better more benevolent people but,,, do they deserve it just because they change?

juxtaposed with Megatron who is still an asshole, just tired and played more for laughs or to move the plot, and lead a massive genocide, gave a half assed apology, and ‘ended the war’ but theres still so many repercussions from his actions (like the DJD) that dont just go away bc he says hes tired of fighting and just wants to not die now

im sure other people would have more concise better analyses of these characters than i ever could and add more detail that they noticed, but compared to what they did and who they were do they really deserve redemption? Drift and Cyclonus may have just been the minions under Megatron but that doesnt erase what they chose to do and who they chose to fight for

ofc in the comic theyre the heroes/protagonists that we root for so the whole plot would want you to say that everyone deserves a chance to change and thats really a major part of the storyline, redemption and regret and rising above who you once were but like

going back to the backstory of what happened, what they did during the war, do they deserve it? obviously i guess it doesnt matter theyre on a ship far far from any real consequences and all the mechs back on Cybertron seem content to just forget about them but thats why i focused this rant thing on specifically Drfit, Cyclonus, and Megatron (with Starscream ofc) bc those are the ones we follow and the ones we have context for to compare them to each other)

im ofc not the first to bring this up theres tooooons of discussions and people unsatisfied with how Megatron ended up just getting away with everything, but i wouldnt put that focus solely on him bc although he was the tyrant and icon of the Decepticon faction he wouldnt have been able to do anything if there weren’t powerful mechs fighting for his cause and destroying entire civilizations for him

to bring this back to Starscream, Megatron’s second in command, who was ofc just as bad as the rest for different reasons, he just got death; sure it was an honorable death and he saved Cybertron in the end which really showed what he was willing to do as a leader but it just,,, idk kind of feels shitty bc he wanted to be adored and loved and maybe for the wrong reasons but everyone else just gets to have relationships and a happy ever after traveling space (in the alternate timeline ofc in the one we followed they,,, well) with friends

TO END THIS FINALLY im perfectly content most of the time to just ignore the war and think about the shenanigans of the characters i love but i think totally erasing what theyve done and who they were simplifies them to the point theyre no longer the characters with the depth and intrigue that i love so much

#i REALLY HATE when characters with a lot of depth are just written as one dimensional tropes bc at that point theyre no longer the character #you followed the entire story #referencing that last post bc it talked about something that i hate SO MUCH #when you change a character to be unrecognizable youre just making them into a very popular oc #should certain good qualities be able to buy you a free pass to forgiveness?

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princessselene126 · 4 years

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Hey yall, emotional abuse, physical pain (not self harm, just illness pain), brief mention of periods, and shitty parents tws coming up.

So i generally try to keep my personal life off here unless I won’t be posting for a while and want to let you know why (like i did with my ear infection.), but I’m having a really bad week and a half and desperately need to vent. Feel free to completely ignore this because I don’t expect anyone to respond, I just need to get everything off my chest--although any suggestions as to what the fuck I should do are more than welcome.

My dad and stepmom have been controlling any emotionally abusive for pretty much my entire life--because you know, abuse doesn’t just start randomly and it’s not something that you can easily fix.

Anyway. When I went home for my ear infection, my stepmom got kinda mad about it. Mad might be the wrong word, controlling is probably better. I didnt tell her or my dad that I was coming home to see the doctor for a few reasons:

I knew if I told them, they’d tell me i should tough it out and go to class

They’d say that i was being over dramatic and that it couldn’t possible hurt that bad

They’d ask why I couldn’t have seen a doctor in Milwaukee (where my college is and 1.5 hours from home), why I needed to come home for something like that.

So I didn’t tell them. While I was home my stepmom texted me asking how I was doing. At the time she didn’t know I had an ear infection or that I was home, so of course like the idiot I am, I was honest and told her I came home sunday night. Seriously I think honesty is my fatal flaw. She, of course, asked why and I told her that “I cant think right now, let alone take a bus somewhere I’ve never been before. I tried to get into the dr at school, but they dont have any openings until wednesday.” I was able to get into my doctor at home on monday, two full days before I would have been able too at school, so it seems logical that id go home right? I couldnt hear out of my right ear anyway, so it’s not like I would have been able to pay attention in class and actually learn anything.

She drops it or that day.

But my stepmom, being my stepmom, of course texts me back a few days later (fthursday or friday i think) because she thinks that I should have tried harder to find a doctor here. She said, and I fucking quote this entire goddamn text

Hey so I just want to clarify with you ... you could have gone to a dr there you know? You guys didn’t have to come all the way home and back. good lord. Just find a clinic thats an urgent care or er. you might have had to pay more out of pocket, but so what? And you have 2 insuraces, so that wouldve helped more too. Just saying. So I thought I’d let you know instead of doing all that craziness back and forth. Make it easier on yourself next time kiddo.

And this has me fucking livid because:

I literally explained to her why I didn’t find someone in Milwaukee days before.

She’s insinuating that it’s too inconvenient for my mom to come get me.

And my stepdad had off on tuesday, so he gladly took me back too school. No questions asked. No complaints. He even bought my antibiotics for me (which I was totally prepared to pay the $10 for myself) before we left.

She’s talking down to me as if I had no idea that I could do this.

I can’t afford to pay more out of pocket right now, even if I might (read: MIGHT) get reimbursed for it later.

Going home literally WAS making it easier on myself.

So I send a screenshot of this text to my mom of course, and she replies almost immediately just going off. My mom and I havent always had the best relationship (she has some emotionally abusive habits too, but she knows about most of them, acknowledges them, and tries her best to fix them), but I know that she will always be there for me. She’s that person who will drive an hour and a half just to come make sure someone is okay, and she has done so 2-3 times in my 2 years at college. She doesn’t care if I’m 45 and living on the other side of the country, she will drive or by a plane ticket to hep me if/when need it. So my mom is beyond pissed off that my stepmom would ever imply that coming to get me, take care of me, is an inconvenience.

I reply a simple “i know” to my stepmom, because I know better than to give her a long winded explanation. She’ll just come back at me with an even longer block of text basically telling me how wrong/stupid i was to not just see a dr in the area.

And of course, of fucking course, she replies with a long block of text anyway basically telling me the same fucking thing. She does this several times and I keep doing the “i know” “yeah” “okay” thing because I just didn’t have the fucking ENERGY you guys.

But then she says

my goodness you’re a peach sometimes. Just trying to help and maybe you guys didn’t think of that.

So by this point in time my patience was completely GONE. I have absolutely none left. I know when my stepmom calls me a peach it’s just her “nice” way of saying “you’re being a fucking bitch.” ((Keep in mind this entire time I was taking screenshots and sending them to my mom so she could be mad with me.)) And so I fucking went off in the nicest way possible. I tell her

no, you’re trying to be in control of the situation that had absolutely nothing to do with you

I was going to just try going to a dr the next morning, but then my mom called and I was crying and she asked if I wanted to come home, so I said yes. It wasn’t an inconvenience to her, though it feels like you’re trying to make it seem that way. And [stepdad] had off so he was easily able to take me back.

I’m not an idiot, im an adult fully capable of doing things myself. But i also recognized that I needed help and accepted it when my mom noticed I did as well

Because yes. I was in so much pain that I was actually crying from it. I usually have a decent pain tolerance (horrific period cramps will do that to a person), but for some reason whenever I say that I’m genuinely in pain my stepmom never seems to think it could be “that bad.” And... that’s exactly how that went. I was soooo prepared to just tough it out and wait until Wednesday if I absolutely had to. But then my mom called and I may be 20 years old but there are those times when you’re an adult and you just need your parent. You need your parent to tell you it’s going to be okay. You need your parent to hold and comfort you. You need your parent to take you to the dr. And for me this was one of those times. I so very rarely ask for help but this time i needed it, and there’s no reason for my stepmom (or anyone) to make me feel like I should be ashamed of that.

So she said something brief to that and I didn’t reply back. Ne next moring she sends me another text starting off with something along the lines of “I’m hurt by how you treated me last night...” and I didn’t read the rest because I knew it would make me mad. I did, however send a screenshot to my mom again.

The next day I call both my mom and my paternal grandma to talk about this entire conversation.

My mom thinks that I should cut off ties with them for at least a few months because this has been overwhelming me so much. I agree with her, but I’m concerned about my younger siblings (not that they’ll get hurt or anything, but that I won’t be able to see them) and also my aunt is getting married in may.

And my grandma was livid too. She’s never liked my stepmom because she’s always thought that she’s treated me like shit. (For a long time i mistakenly believed that my stepmom was a better person than my mom, but I was an impressionable child/teenager then). My grandma and I talked about times when stepmom made me feel bad about myself or treated me as lesser than my half siblings. And my grandma agrees that I should keep my distance, but she asked me to not cut ties, and to keep a decent amount of peace, until after my aunt’s wedding.

Which I understand. I get it. I love my aunt a lot and I truly dont want to cause any problems at her wedding, she deserves the world. But at the same time I don’t know how much longer I can take this you guys. I’m supposed to go to a water park for a night with my dad, stepmom, and siblings during my spring break (it was a christmas present from my dad to the family) and I’m absolutely dreading it. I don’t want to go. My mom says I should just lie and say I have to work, but again, fatal flaw here is honesty, so I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that. I want to see my siblings too, but I really need to start taking care of myself.

I’ve spent far too long worrying about my family even after not living at home for the last two years. I need to take care of myself. I do. But I honestly don’t know how to do that without causing a family feud in the process.

And the reason this was all triggered again today (after not having talked to anyone on my dad’s side since saturday) is because I got a call from a random number while I was in class today. It was a call from my home city and whoever it was left a voicemail. In the back of my mind I started worrying that it was my dad and that he wanted to talk me into not being upset with my stepmom (he’s a terrible person too but that’s a rant for a different day).

I have yet to listen to it because the idea of talking about this with him makes me nauseous. At the same time, not knowing who called is making me overwhelmingly anxious. I don’t know what would be best:

Ignoring the voicemail, or listening to it and potentially having to talk to my dad?

Toughing out being around my family until after the wedding, or risk causing a family feud by cutting ties?

I just... I’m so lost you guys.

#personal #tasha talks #i could go into so much more detail about how fucking broken i am because of all of the things ive dealt with in my family #but this is the bare minimum needed to understand just what the fuck is going on right now #im not feeling ok #mr stark i dont feel so good #even trying to joke like that is falling flat right now #im in panic mode and i don't know how to stop #this has been keeping me up at night #seriously #i cannot sleep #i feel sick #and so drained #all i want to do is sleep #delete later #probably

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goddamnmuses-a · 4 years

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Dan Watches: Star Wars: Episode I -The Phantom Menace

So.. I got the idea of writing my thoughts up as I go basically as they get to the Gungan city so.. i’ll try and remember my thoughts before that and then I’ll do it kinda live. Under the cut cus long.

Alright.. So the opening crawl was very.. politics which to be honest as i’ve got older I actually kind of enjoy that side of Star Wars but it doesn’t really add anyhting to the actual film because I think everything thats in it could be picked up by just watching the film.

I kinda like the battle droids.. weird soft spot for them. I like the big ship ones too and Droidekas i thought were the coolest shit ever when i was a kid and i stand by that.

I’m not all that bothered by the racial stereotypes because like.. i’m not the races they’re sterotyping but i can see why it’d be problematic.

Jar Jar isn’t as annoying as everyone makes him out to be.. don’t get me wrong.. he’s annoying.. but he’s not cancer.

Aesthetically the Gungan City is pretty cool, giant underwater bubble city.. i bet there’s cool fan art of it somewhere.

Alright now we’re live.. The duck things the Gungans ride are weird.

Do Gungans like JarJar eventually become the giant Green guy? .. I googled apparently they’re just two different races of Gungan despite looking like totally different Aliens.

It’s nice that all races are like “Life debt? Oh yeah thats a legit thing.”

Gungans speak like English or Common or.. i forget the Star Wars term.. Basic? is their second language.. but it isnt.

Yooo Qui Gon just made JarJar go to sleep using the force.. Why is Force Sleep not a thing in more stuff... gotta keep an eye out for that now.

Naboo is pretty.

Padme is so extra, she’s in her iconic red dress that’s already extra as fuck and then sees that she’s been captured and is like “Alright.. but first.. wardrobe change!” and then shows up in some black number. I’m not sure if at this point she’s actually Padme or if Padme is pretending to be one of her servants now but either way she had a costume change and nobody questions it so she must be having costume changes all the time.

When Qui Gon force pushes two battle droids theres a really weird sound effect that sounds like it belongs in a mario game.

Pretty sure Padme is the handmaid now and this new Queen should take the opportunity to be like “Yoo peace out bitches.” Then we get Keira Knightley’s adventures in Star Wars.

Also who was she before this swaparoo? Was she a handmaid and just suddenly got promoted to queen? Like she could be saying all sorts of shit. I know she gets revealed later on but think of how much she could do whilst Padme is away.

The first words ever spoken to R2 in Star Wars, chronologically, (although inderectly) are “Hello Boyos”. Just sit with that.

The first words spoken to him directly are “How rude.” which seems about right tbf with how sassy he is.

Darth Maul is awesome.

Keira Knightly or Sabe (I looked it up) is like “Yo actual queen, clean that droid!” i think she just wanted to feel more powerful than the actual queen there, little power trip.

Nice Poncho Qui Gon. Cal approves.

I wonder how long Padme took to convince the others to let her go off alone with Qui Gon and Jar Jar and R2 (Dunno why R2 joins them?) on a planet thats ruled by the Hutts

I kinda like Watto.. not as a person.. he just amuses me.

Kinda cool that Anakin can speak Huttese, wish he spoke it more often.. just cursing in Huttese as Obi Wan tries to teach him stuff.

“Are you an Angel.” Smooooth kid. Smoooth, you’re gonna get with her. Despite her being way older than you. They couldn’t have just made him the same age as her?

Toydarians should be used for more things, especially involving force users.

Anakin. The slave. Is like “Here Qui Gon, you’ll like this food.” and he’s just like “Cheers” and pockets it for later. Dude. Try it.

I really hope they do go into more High Republic stuff next, give me a Destiny-type game where you play as a Jedi with your mates.

Quigons like “You must have Jedi reflexes to race pods” Then he catches Jar Jars tongue in a blink of an eye and Anakins like “You’re a Jedi Knight aren’t you?” And Qui-Gon is like “What makes you think that?” ...? .. You just fucking.. God damn it Qui-Gon.

Anakin: “No one can kill a Jedi”. Palpatine: “Hold my Blue milk.”

I feel like im becoming fluent in Gungan broken basic which is worrying.

Anakins mom whos name i’ve literally just forgot is like “He was meant to help you.” ... bitch.. what? Why does nobody question that?

WHY DOES JAR JARS MOUTH MOVE WITH OTHER PEOPLES LINES!? ... Darth Jar Jar. #PlagueisTheWiseWasAGungan. I mean not rly but seriously.. that would have been a really cool plot twist.

Jar Jar got numbed and got his hand stuck.. so like.. perhaps not.. otherwise you’re playing a little too dumb mate.

The look of worry from Shmi, good stuff.

The two Headed announcer speaking basic and Huttese is pretty smart like, the one doing one and the other doing the other.

What the fuck is Clegg Holdfast?

What the fuck are any of these races? Like.. where are these races throughout the rest of the franchise?

Crazy that lightly bending that one part of the podracer can fuck it up so bad.

Who the fuck is that other Hutt? Oh yeah I’m watching the like updated version with Geroge Lucas’ “Fixes” in it. Probably should have said that earlier.

I cant remember if this is true but I’m pretty sure Qui-Gon knows Padme is the Queen and is just fucking with her at this point.

Man Pod Racing is cool, fuck whoever says it isnt.

Gimmie an updated Pod Racing ps4 game.

What the fuck is that long thin alien thats selling food to the crowd? Gimmie a Jedi version of him.

Havent commented in a while because i just kept watching it tbh.

Coruscant looks cool. Still want more High Republic stuff.

What the fuck is that driver alien, he looks in pain to exist.

“There is no civility, there is only politics” The Chancellor code.

Is it too late to call a vote of no confidence on Palpatine?

I see you there in the background Yaddle. Get it girl.

Fuck me the added extra of this long neck ass Jedi Master is so distracting.

Where Jaro Tapal at tho?

You’d think after Padme’s like “Surprise bitch it’s me” moment coming up the Jedi would be like “Well shit.. maybe we’re less aware of things than we think... Yoda.. are you just a short human painted green?”

Amedala... So extra with these outfits. I get that she’s a Queen but Jesus.

Eyyyyyyyyyyyy it’s ET.

Qui-Gon is such a bad boy.

I kinda get why Jedi take kids when they’re really young, so they can’t remember their parents so they aren’t constantly worried about their parents and then fall to the dark side... doesn’t make it any nicer though.

My vote went to Bail Antilles.

To be fair not training Anakin could have been very bad. He could have like gone even more Darkside and Palpatine could swooped in and trained him himself completely.

Maul is barely in this but fuck is he still cool.

You know what I don’t hate Midichlorians. They’re just like atoms that stick to certain people and thats what gives them access to the force, it doens’t really change anything it’s just a scientific explination.

You know what.. During the middle of the film, Jar Jar keeps his mouth shut and just lets people get on with it, that’s alright.

How old is Obiwan supposed to be in this film?

A little more variation in these creepy ass gungans would be nice.

Damn the Viceroy and the other guy are huge or Maul is smol.

Love that Gungan dindgeridoo horn thing.

I also love the giant bubble shields.

Are they watching a Star Wars battle tactics pc game on that screen?

Fuck The Darth Maul fight is badass.

I don’t buy Anakin at all, he wants to fly out there and get involved, the little shit.

Quigon doesnt even flip when he jumps, he’s just like “I’m too old for this shit.”

Yeah R2 is like “Go back” and Anakins like “Naaa fuck that”... Tut tut. Boys gonna be trouble.

The way Maul stalks back and forth the other side of that barrier like a Sith Tiger.. Good shit.

Aaaaand Quigon is dead. RIP.

“Now This is Pod Racing.”.. It’s not though is it?

Nice to have something blow up and actually have debris instead of just all being gone completely.

Anddd there goes Maul to go get robot spider legs and then be found by his bro Savage.

Why do you wanna bring balance to the force anyway if it’s currently so one sided favouring the light side? Surely bringing balance is a bad thing at that point.

Yoda’s already soooo old.

Alright so they know there’s a Sith out there and the guy is still just like right next to them and they don’t know. Tut.

That Jedi behind Mace Windu at the end looks intimidating as shit.

Padme, he’s a kid, calm yourself down woman. You predator.

Alright.. Film done. 10/10 Best movie ever. Naa tbh I enjoy the prequels more than most, obviously if you’ve stuck with me this long you know that but it clearly has its flaws.. still.. I enjoyed it! Feel free to ask me my opinions on specific things if you want. Also shamelessly gonna plug my two star wars muses Cal and Savage here, rp with me you cowards. Also I’m down to star wars verse any of my other characters, literally any of them, i have ideas for all.

#ooc #dan watches #dan reacts

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xxbeautyinthebreakdownxxo · 5 years

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Always Mad

I dont understand that no matter what I do or say youre always mad. I try to do what I can not to make you mad. I ask a question and im wrong for that, you say I should know by now but I still dont seem to understand. I dont do anything bad to you and thats what makes me sad. It hurts when people ask me simple things like "where is he working at today" "when is he coming back" "when is he leaving" "where is he going" "are youse coming" and lots of other questions all with the same reply "he doesnt tell me anything". Heres what I dont understand at all:

You're always mad, but I always cook you breakfast, lunch, lunch for work, and dinner.. every day. Even when im mad and that makes me mad. You're always mad but I always do your laundry, fold your clothes, and put them away nicely, you've never said thank you.. and thats what makes me mad. You're always mad, but I always tell you how handsome you are even when I never nor have I ever gotten random everyday compliments from you, and that makes me mad. You're always mad but I always tell you how much I love you, even though you never say it first, and alot of times have attitude abojt saying it back, so its said with no meaning only annoyance, and thats what makes me mad. You're always mad, but everyday I ask you how your day was, while mostly all of the time you just give me the "its fine" head nod, followed by silence, and that makes me mad. You're always mad, but ive never missed a holiday, birthday, special occasion, and Ive always thought of you when I go places so I get you things "just because", even though its been 3 years with you and I've never ever ever received anything, not even a flower picked off the side of the road, and that makes me mad. You're always mad, but I have always taken interest, showed some type of interest, asked questions about your interests, took some type of interest in your interests because it makes you happy and you YOU, even though you never take any interest in my interests, and when im excited to tell you about something that interests me you shoot me down and I feel myself go from excited to hurt, and that's what makes me mad. You're always mad, but I always make sure you know and feel that I love and care about you, yet I never feel love, nor have I ever thought you really cared for me, and thats what makes me mad. You're always mad, but I go,above and beyond to show you I only want you, and no one else gets my attention, yet every couple weeks or months another girl pops up either from your past , or new ones.. and that's what makes me mad. You're always mad, but while were out in public you refuse to hold my hand, and you make sure you are the furthest away from me, basically walk away from me and thats what makes me mad. You're mad, but when your actions cause me to hurt and react you try and turn it on me.. because you can't communicate and thats what makes me mad. Youre mad , but we made a promise to each other that things wouldn't escalate when we fought to the point where pur hands are on each other again... yet the last 3 huge fights we had I was in shock and disbelief that you broke that promise, I kept my hands to myself and didnt even defend ,. I sat there asking why you hate me..,and thats what makes me mad. You're mad, but you told me you put your hands on me because you dont k ow how else to react, because you so desperately dont want me to leave so you dont let me.. I stay because not only am I in love with you, but because I know this isnt the real you, you're angry and although I forgive you and never left your side especially when your demons came out. Yet you never said sorry or showed appreciation for any of it and thats what makes me mad. You're mad, but ive always been by your side when you needed me with anything, even take care of you when you're sick, even though anytime I needed you mostly all of the times you were nowhere to be found and ive never even received a "do you need anything" when im sick, and thats what makes me mad. Youre mad, but when i found out I was pregnant you were so mean to me, you called me a whore, and spread mean things around about me .. youre mad, but when you said we should abort agreed even though I didn't want to. Youre mad, but an hour before my appointment you begged me not to do it and that you'd be there and not let me do it on my own. Last minute I cancelled the appointment, and you never ever made it to one baby appointment, never once asked how I was feeling, never once felt him moving, never once showed concern about him, you didnt want me going anywhere so you kept me very close , and as I was pregnant sleeping in your bed every night, you would leave all night long and screw around on me, you,never bought one thing that the baby needed, you never came to the birth even after I begged multiple times, you told me that you hope I die right before I went into get the c-section.... you didnt speak to me for days, and you never came.. and thats what makes me mad. Youre mad, but I forgave you and 2 weeks after our son was born you were fucking an ex fling .. THEN you finally met him, and thats what makes me mad. Youre mad, but after telling me you wanted to try and make a family work, and that you loved me , you were going around denying him and telling people you didnt want a family with me , and thats what makes me mad. You say youre mad.. we came so very far from those things for a little while we had peace, you were faithful, and I had my little family, I felt loved somewhat ... we moved in together.. you started treating me bad again, then you were caught doing things behind my back that you knew would hurt me, and thats what makes me mad. Youre mad, but I asked why out of all your options you chose me .. you said "because I was the only one dumb enough to stick around" .... and in a way that makes me mad. Youre mad, but im completely in love with you, stuck around and believed you'll eventually change because you were broken when we met and "hurt people hurt people" .. nothing youve done made me love you less, it just made me feel a different kind of hurt. . Yet every day I dont feel loved or appreciated back and thats what makes me mad. Youre mad , but if you ever read this youd find a way to leave becUse you cant take honestly and credibility.. and thats what makes me mad. Youre mad, but you know there is alot of things I didnt write because my fingers hurt from holding this tablet for so long as youre iracing, and havent spoken to me since you got home other than teing me I was making you mad for asking questions, and im an idiot because I should know by now.. even though all day long I waited for you to get home bc I missed you... you responded with a sarcastic laugh and shook ur head no and havent spoken to me since .. and thats what makes me mad. Most of all what makes me mad is knowing you can love , communicate, care, and treat me better .. it makes me mad because you must think I dont deserve that from you. It makes me mad you dont appreciate me or the unconditional love I have for you.. and thats what makes me mad . Youre mad , but I love you so much that I wont leave or give up on you because I know youre my person, and you know you,can get away with anything because of that and thats what makes me mad. Youre mad, but the good days are so good I never want them to end .. good and bad days you make me happy .. you show things very seldom, but still in your own fucked up way.. I know under your hurt you must love me bc you,never let me leave and youve once told me you never loved someone as much as me and thats why I dont understand how you treat me this way, and thats what makes me mad. Youre mad but people think im mad for staying, I just know youll come around .. its 4:18am ive been writingg for over an hour , maybe its been two , but you said to stop talking , so I started writing, you havent spoken a word to me and ur still racing. Youre mad because im writing and not talking as yiu said.. you keep glancing ocer and sighing .. youll come to bed in silence and turn ur back to me like I did this .. and thats what makes me mad. I love you so much and I wont ever give up on you because as fucked as all of this is , I want you forever. I deserve it after all .. what makes me mad is I can feel that youre going to leave .. it hurts and scares me.. and thats what makes me mad. Youre mad but knowing you never read this, or somehow find this you wont read it all and realize what u have right here. You wont care to change and fix this.. and thats what makes me mad.

One last thing, you're mad, but I know there's someone else.. yet you wont be honest with me.. youre mad but I dont understand why someone else gets the best you.. meaning you treat them like they mean something, n I bet u talk to her nice and with respect, im sure you compliment and confide in her and I bet you tell her ur problems and about your day and how much you want to leave because you hate your life with me , I bet she gets the best you, and that makes me mad, but most of it tops everything else.. its killing me and you dont care. How does she get the best you ive n begging for, an waiting for.. how does she deserve that so effortlessly.. yet ive been out through just about everything , all the emotions , all the hurt, and stuck by you.. it makes me mad and kills me that you think still after everything.. I still deserve nothing from you other than hurt. How could you.. it makes me mad bc ill never get an answer...

Youre mad, but I loved, love, and it will always BE YOU. I showed and still continue to show unconditional love and u dont care thats why im mad.

You're mad but I loved you the most......

And thats what makes me mad.

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rosapeachhogwartsmystery · 6 years

Text

Brewing a Wolfsbane Potion (Hogwarts Mystery Imagine - Werewolf reader x Penny Haywood)

Masterlist (To view my Masterlist, visit my Tumblr page)

Request: Can I request a reader x Penny fic where the reader is a werewolf in need of some wolfsbane potion?

A/N: I really like the idea of the reader being a werewolf, especially because Penny is afraid of werewolves after her friend was murdered by one. Maybe I could write another part of this, because I think Penny would probably have to get more used about the reader being a werewolf (especially once they are dating)

Words: 2126

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You have managed to keep it hidden from everyone else pretty well. Only a few people knew about your condition. You just needed to get away from everyone during the full moon. It was something you learnt to live with. No one thought it was suspicious you were gone during the full moon. All your friends thought you were just busy with the Cursed Vaults whenever you were gone, even during the night. Rowan did suspect something was up, but they never asked about it. They also thought it had to do something with the Cursed Vaults and just was concerned about you whenever you were gone. Dumbledore had been kind enough to give you Wolfsbane potions a week before the full moon. You had been grateful. You expected Snape would know about your condition as well, thinking he brew the potions. He never said a word about it though. You were grateful though. Wolfsbane potions are quite expensive. Besides that, being a werewolf was problematic. If people knew about it, they would judge you. You couldn’t help it you were attacked by a werewolf once. You were bitten and they just couldn’t cure it. You would just have to live with it.

You were carrying a bag with the potion for a later today. You were minding your own business until someone bumped into you. Your eyes widened when your bag fell on the ground. You could hear the potion shatter. You cursed under your breath. “Watch where you are going, Y/L/N.” Of course, it just had to be Merula you bumped into. “Maybe you should watch where you are going Snyde…” You said seriously. “You were the one who was daydreaming.” She said. “Oh, I suppose you couldn’t take a step aside then.” You said, frowning. “The great Merula feels too good to take a step aside.” You hissed at her. She blinked. “Whatever…” She said and then she signed to Ismelda to come along with her. You kept glaring at Merula until she was out of sight. You picked up your bag and sighed. You were fucked… You weren’t just going to tell Dumbledore ‘Hey, Merula bumped into me and the Wolfsbane potion shattered’. No, you needed to fix this yourself… Maybe you could brew it yourself? No, that is a quite advanced potion, you haven’t even got that far… You could ask someone… Although it would be suspicious to ask for that… Although, you were desperate. You needed the Wolfsbane potion, otherwise you would lose control over yourself when you transformed.

There was just one person you could ask… Although, you knew she didn’t like werewolves at all. She was basically traumatized by one. Her friend was murdered by a werewolf. This wasn’t going to be fun, you knew that… Although, she was your only hope at this point. You needed to talk to Penny about this in private. You took a deep breath and decided to look for her. Maybe it would be good to tell someone as well? No one knew after all. Yeah, you tried to be positive about this, but it was hard.

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Penny was standing there with some other Hufflepuffs. She seemed to be chatting happily. Good Merlin, she looked pretty cute when she was happy. She definitely was one of your best-looking friends, you were sure about that. She also was very kind, but definitely not fearful for a lot of things. She was always happy to help you out when you needed help, maybe, just maybe, she would be happy to help now as well. You approached her and gave her a smile. “Hey Penny, can I talk to you?” You asked. “Oh, hey Y/N.” She greeted. “Sure, where shall we talk?” She asked. “Somewhere private if you don’t mind.” You said. Penny looked at the two other Hufflepuffs. “I will talk to you two later.” She said. The two Hufflepuff nodded and said their goodbyes. After that, you and Penny began walking somewhere more private. You ended up in the Artefact room. It was the most private place to be now.

“What do you want to talk about?” Penny asked when you two were alone. “I wanted to ask for your help.” You said seriously. “Oh, with the Cursed Vaults.” She asked. You shook your head. “No, it is something else, something really complicated.” You said. She blinked. What could be more complicated than the Cursed Vaults? She was sure this was something more personal. “Penny, I’m going to warn you though. It might not be pretty to hear this.” You said, glancing away a little. “It can’t be that bad, can it?” She asked. “It is pretty bad, believe me.” You told her. “No other student or friend knows about this.” You said. “So, the professors know?” She asked. You nodded. “A few of them know.” You said. “All right, I suppose this is something hard to understand, so I will try my best.” She said. “How… how familiar are you with brewing a Wolfsbane potion…?” You asked. “A Wolfsbane potion? I can brew it, but why would you ne-….”

Penny’s eyes widened, realizing what you meant. “You… Are you really…?” “A werewolf, yes…” You said honestly. “But… but how?” She asked. “I was attacked by one and I ended up being infected. It’s incurable.” You said honestly. “So, you never told anyone else about this…? Not even Rowan?” She asked. You shook your head. “It’s not something I should tell anybody. You can already imagine what parents would say if they heard a werewolf attends Hogwarts.” You said honestly. “Do you get a Wolfsbane potion from Dumbledore? Well, probably from Snape.” She said. “Yes, every week prior to a full moon I get a Wolfbane potion every day.” You told her. “So, why do you want me to brew it for you. “Well… I bumped into Merula and my bag dropped. It shattered in my bag…” You said, rubbing the back of your head. “Please Penny, could you brew it for me? I don’t want to lose control during the full moon. I really don’t want to hurt anyone.” You said, almost begging for her help.

“Of course, I will brew it for you!” Penny said. “I mean, I don’t want you to lose control during the full moon. I know how dangerous a werewolf can be after all…” She said honestly. “Yeah… That’s why I thought it would be hard to ask you… It is quite a sensitive topic after all…” You said softly. She gave you a small smile and placed a hand on your shoulder. “If I can help you to keep control over your own form, then I’m glad to help you out.” She said honestly. “I mean, you were not the same werewolf who attacked Scarlett.” She said, frowning a little when she remembered that event. She shook her head a little and gave you a smile. “Well, let’s go to the potion classroom. I’m pretty sure it is empty now.” She said, grabbing your hand. She basically dragged you out of the Artefact room. She didn’t talk the whole way to the Potions classroom. She didn’t want to talk out loud about what she just heard. She wasn’t going to tell anyone about this. She wouldn’t be a good friend if she did tell anyone.

Once you two were in the Potions Classroom she told you to get certain ingredients. You grabbed what she said and just helped her a little by getting her the things she needed to brew the potion. You knew it was important the Wolfsbane potion was brewed perfectly, otherwise it wouldn’t have any effect on you. You just watched Penny working hard on brewing the potion. It really took quite a while before Penny was done. “Ta-da! Here you go, one freshly brewed Wolfsbane potion. You should probably take it now. That way we can be sure Merula can’t bump into you again.” She said, handing you the potion. “Thanks Penny, you are the best.” You said before you slowly took the potion. The potion was disgusting, but it was worth it. “I heard it really tastes bad.” Penny said. “I suppose my face was making it obvious as well.” You said with a grin. “Very obvious.” She said. “If you don’t mind. Can you tell me if the potion has worked after the full moon? I mean, I’m not a Potions master yet. I think I did it perfectly, but you never know.” She said. “I will tell you about it.” You told her.

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Thank goodness… The full moon was over and you wouldn’t have to deal with it for another month. You had full control over yourself after you transformed. From a secret source you heard the Shrieking Shack was a safe place to transform. People wouldn’t come there anyways. They all thought the place was haunted. You were grateful for whoever sent you that information. Madam Pomfrey seemed to know about the place as well. Even though you could use Wolfsbane potions, it was probably better to be as far as possible from other people. You didn’t want to risk it after all.

You began looking for Penny, wanting to tell her the potion she brewed worked as well. If one potion failed, the others would fail as well. You spotted Penny near her common room in the Dungeons. You walked over to her with a smile. “It worked.” You told her. She looked at you and then she began smiling as well. She basically jumped towards you to give you a hug. She had her arms wrapped around your neck. “I’m really glad!” She said honestly. “I was worried I might did something wrong.” She said. “No, it worked just fine, it was an easy night.” You told her honestly. “That’s good.” She said honestly. “Also, I was thinking… I know about this, but wouldn’t it be time to tell our other friends?” She asked. You grimaced a little. “I don’t know… I mean, it isn’t something to really share….” You said honestly. “Y/N, they are your friends, they will understand.” She said honestly. “If it makes you feel better, I can be there to support you.” She said. “Please Y/N. I’m sure it will be for the best. You can’t hide this forever for them.” She said. You sighed and then you nodded. “I suppose you are right…” You said. “That doesn’t mean I will do it now.” You said. “Maybe, once the next full moon is getting near again… It might make more sense if I do it then.” You said.

Penny took a step back and took one of your hands. “I’m sure it will turn out all right.” She said honestly, squeezing your hand lightly. “Just tell them like you told me. That way, it won’t be too direct.” She said. “I suppose I could think up something to tell them.” You said. “Great.” She said. “I was about to go to the Great Hall, care to join me?” She asked with a sweet smile. “Sure, I would love to join you.” You said honestly. She smiled, still holding your hand when you walked with her towards the Great Hall. You blinked a little, wondering why she was still holding your hand. You didn’t mind it. No, you actually enjoyed her holding your hand. Her hand was soft and warm. You wouldn’t mind holding her hands more often. You softly squeezed her hand. She blushed slightly when you did that, realizing what she was doing.

“Oh Merlin, I’m sorry… I didn’t realize I was still holding your hand.” She said, about to let go of your hand. “It is fine. I actually like it.” You told her. She was surprised. “Really?” She asked. You nodded. “Yeah, I like it when you hold my hand.” You said honestly, blushing a little. “I suppose I can do it more often then.” She suddenly said. You blinked. Did you hear that right? “You would?” You asked. “Well, yeah. I mean I like holding your hand.” She said. “Maybe I even would like to do more than just holding hands?” She said, blushing more. “Oh really? Like what?” You decided to ask with a smirk, although you were still blushing. She stopped walking and then she turned to look at you. She slowly took a step closer and then she pecked your lips softly with a small grin on her face. You began blushing more. That was a bold move… A really bold move. “Does that mean you like me, even with my condition?” You asked. “I thought the move I just made, made it all clear.” She said with a wink.

Merlin, this girl is amazing….

#harry potter hogwarts mystery #hogwarts mystery #hogwarts mobile game #hogwarts mystery imagine #harry potter imagine #imagine #reader #mc #werewolf reader #penny haywood #merula snyde #reader x penny haywood

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little-misses-lee · 5 years

Text

This past year has been one huge fuck you.

I went into 2018 with my Cluster Headaches, Temporomandibular Joint Dysfunction and Trigeminal Neuralgia as well as some unwelcome new symptoms.

So along came more medications, the controlled drugs, the questions and odd looks in the pharmacy. But no diagnosis. Just questions.

Is she crazy? Is she a drugseeker?

No. I believe I have eventually found doctors that can see my pain.

March comes and everything was painfully normal until the morning I woke up and something felt wrong.

I had a dead leg, atleast thats what I thought it was so I waited. And after 20 minutes I realised it wasnt right and pretty soon was waiting for an ambulance and feeling terrified.

At the hospital I kept smiling but knew something was wrong with me, something has been wrong with me for a long time. And now I cant move my leg. Not even wiggle a toe. Being transferred in the middle of the night and nurses giving each other glances they think I cant see, 'its quite possible its MS or a stroke".

I was 26. And some days later a neurologist is telling me that "the signals going from my brain to my leg are being lost or confused somewhere along the way. It may go completely back to normal but some people stay the same for 25 years."

I was not going to spend 25 years this way. I sat there for days just thinking over and over again about moving my leg, twitching my toe, anything. Over and over. Eventually my muscles started to move when I was making conscious thoughts, then I could move my toe although uncontrolled. After a while I could slightly bend my knee and then I was going home. I was wheeled out of hospital with still no real meaningful use of my leg. In bed for weeks having to drag myself across the floor just to get to the bathroom where I would be so exhausted I would collapse in a heap on the floor and just cry.

But I fought.

I worked through my physiotherapy and I got better. And the first time I really left the house was to go and see Blue October in Concert. I was determined to stand there at the rail and I did.

So I can walk but I remain using a crutch but considering what could have been I have no right to complain.

The year moved on and my symptoms worsen. I am constantly fatigued to such an extent that I had to brush my teeth in bed, eat meals in bed, spent countless hours exhausted but suffering horrific insomnia.

My life consisted of working when I was well enough and sleeping to avoid my body crashing so badly that I couldn't get up again for weeks.

I felt void of any purpose or value. I was so depressed that I completely lost myself along the way.

Eventually I had spent weeks in a state, I couldnt eat or drink without vomitting, my weight was dropping rapidly and I was in so much pain.

And I went for an Upper GI Endoscopy. A routine procedure under sedation. A sedation to which my body had a severe reaction to. The medication? Maybe. But they believe my body just couldnt cope, I was unconscious for about 10 hours, coming round later in Resus having just given up.

After scans and trial medications etc I finally got a diagnosis in August, "we are going to start treating you for Myalgic Encephalomyelitis and Fibromyalgia."

I have seen what M.E and fibro have done to lives and I was devastated. But I was determined that I wasnt going to feel defeated. I was going to find me again, I was going to enjoy life and it was going to mean something.

I had been promised so many things, a house, kids.

Then 2 days later my partner of 8 years left me. With no look of sorrow or guilt in his eyes. He doesnt love me and hasnt loved me for a long time. And there was me excited to start moving forward.

I was completely floored.

8 years of being completely dedicated to someone and they can leave you without them suffering any form of emotion. Or was there hatred for me? I will never know.

But how the fuck was I going to do this on my own. I had work colleagues help me pack up the last 8 years of my life from his to move out.

I felt like I had been dropped in the middle of the desert with nothing.

It was soon pretty evident that I was completely on my own and my best friend was gone. And to this day I havent heard a single word from him. I thought I couldn't be without him. But I did it and I did it with grace and dignity and I am stronger than him.

And to finish the year my dad has been diagnosed with a cancer in the brain and we are now watching him undergo treatment.

So we spent christmas day yesterday in hospital.

Now its boxing day and I am so floored.

My health feels like its taking a nose dive. My cluster headaches, trigeminal neuralgia and TMD are flaring up and im stuck in bed on Oxygen with injections by my side praying for it to stop.

My painkillers were stopped and I am now reliant on off license drugs such as Cymbalta and Lyrica, Amitriptyline. They have given me painkiller patches which are not helping.

My insomnia is currently so bad that I am a serious health risk and dissociation is a massive issue.

So 2018 had been a huge shit show but I have survived. And, my god, have I been challenged and have I learnt some amazing things about myself.

I will be going into another year with more symptoms, is it the conditions? The medications? I dont know but I am ready to fight again. With the knowledge that I am capable of getting through the worst without people I thought I couldnt live without and that I am so much better for it.

I may go into 2019 feeling a mess but in February I will stand at the rail at the Blue October concert and feel strong. And everything will be okay if only for a night.

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brokenin21stcentury · 5 years

Text

THE MOMENT I REALIZED

I AM EMPTY. MY FEELINGS VANISHED FROM MY BODY. THERE’S NOTHING LEFT OF ME.

I WANT TO FEEL BUT I DONT. I LISTEN BUT I DONT HEAR. I AM TRYING TO UNDERSTAND BUT I DONT UNDERSTAND.

I WANT TO SCREAM BUT I DONT HAVE THE VOICE. I WANT TO CRY, BUT I CAN’T AS THERES NOTHING THAT WOULD CAUSE THEM TO DROP BY DROP DOWN MY FACE. I KNOW I WAS HURT BUT I WAS HURT SO MANY TIMES THAT I AM EMPTY NOW. THERE SHOULD BE PAIN BUT THERE ISNT. THERE SHOULD BE HATE BUT THERES IS NO HATE IN ME. HAPPINESS, THAT ALSO LEFT ME LAST NIGHT.

I AM SIMPLE BOY IN MY TWENTIES BUT NOW I FEEL MY LIFE HAS BEEN TAKEN AWAY, NOT ONLY BECAUSE OF MY FIRST HEARTBREAK BUT BECAUSE OF EVERY FUCKING HURTFUL HATEFUL THING I HAVE HEARD BEEING THROWN AT MY FACE. DISRESPECT COMES MY WAY EVERYDAY. MAYBE. JUST MAYBE. IS THAT ME, IS THAT MY FAULT, DID I CAUSED THIS ?

•HEARTBREAK•

SOMETIME AGO I FELT MY HEART IS STONE COLD AND DEAD. IT JUST PUMPS MY BLOOD AND THAT’S IT. I WAS TEACHING MYSELF TO LOVE, AND CREATE SOMETHING FAKE. AS YEARS OVER THE YEARS PEOPLE DID SOME CRAZY THINGS AND I FELT LONE AND DOWN. BUT I DID MY BEST.

ONE DAY I JUST DECIDED TO SEE WHERE COULD A PRETTY FACE PUT ME. MAYBE WILL TELL ME THAT I AM NOTHING AND JUST MY LOOKS DOESNT FIT THE NEEDS. i was wrong.

BOY WHO THOUGHT HIM SELF TO BE SOMEONE AND NEVER LISTEN TO ANYONE. AS TILL NOW PEOPLE ONLY HURT ME.

I FEEL IN LOVE THE MOMENT I SAW HIM WALKING MY WAY. I FEEL IN LOVE WHEN HE STARTED TO SPEAK. I FEEL IN LOVE WHEN YOU SMILED. *inhale and exhale* HIS SMILE WAS JUST SOMETHING, IT HIT ME AS A ELECTRICITY AND TEARED DOWN THE STONE COLD WALL AROUND MY HEART. I FEEL IN LOVE WITH HIM WHEN HE WAS SPEAKING. I LOVED MYSELF WHEN I WAS AROUND HIM. I WAS LISTENING AND I UNDERSTOOD, THERE WAS HAPPINESS AND PASSION. THAT’S WHY THAT DAY I FEEL IN LOVE WITH HIM BECAUSE I LOVED MYSELF. WHO WOULD KNEW THAT JUST ONE PERSON WOULD COME AND HEAT ME UP AND BUILD ME UP.

AS YOU SEE, THE STORY IS ABOUT CAUSING MY BREATH STOPPING, STOPPING MY BODY. NOT EVEN CREATING THE STONE AROUND MY HEART BECAUSE SIMPLY I DONT BELIEVE THERES SOMETHING EVEN IN ME ANYMORE.

WE SPENT TIME, TALKED AND DID THINGS. HE STAYED AT MY PLACE. HE WAS NEXT TO ME. AND PUT HIS HEAD ON MY CHEST. AND MY HEART TURNED INTO A FIRE. BEAUTIFUL, WARM FIRE. AND EVERY OTHER THING I KNEW ABOUT LOVE WAS NOT EVEN CLOSE WHAT I FELT. NOW I KNOW HOW THE HEAVEN FEELS LIKE. I WAS DEAD AND YOU WOKE ME UP. YOU GOT UP. GAVE THE LAST KISS AND WALKED OUT. I WAS THE HAPPIEST PERSON ALIVE. I DIDNT NEED ANYTHING. I WAS JUST ME. BUT THEN IT ALSO CAUSED PAIN.

MAKES SENES, EVERYTHING IS IN BALANCE. I FELT PAIN BECAUSE YOU LEFT, I FELT PAIN BEACUSE YOURE NOT HEAR. I FELT PAIN BECAUSE I WANTED YOU HERE. I FELT LOVE BECAUSE I WOKE UP NEXT TO YOU, AT THE SAME FEELING PAIN, BECAUSE WHY I AM THE LUCKIEST TO HAVE YOU.

- I WAS WRITE. why did i have you?

THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE. I NEVER HAD YOU. YOU WANTED TO EXPLORE. JUST WITH THE WRONG PERSON. YOU SIMPLY SAID - IT WAS A MISTAKE. I NEVER SHOULD HAVE STARTED THIS. YOU ARE SWEET AND LOVING BUT I HAVENT GOT OVER SOMEONE.

IT KILLED ME. YOU KILLED ME WITH YOUR MISTAKE. AND AT THE BEGINNING I SAID THE ONLY THING PEOPLE HAVE DONE IN MY LIFE IS CAUSED PAIN. AND YOU WERENT ANY BETTER. YOU MADE ME ALIVE. WILD AND FREE. I WAS MILION TIMES BETTER THEN I WAS THAT PERSON WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD WHEN MANY PEOPLE DESTROYED ME IN PIECES.

I FINALLY THOUGHT ITS MY TIME, SOMETHING GOOD FINALLY. IT WAS ME WHO REBORN WITH MORE IN ME THEN EVEN. BUT YOU ONLY NEEDED TO TELL ME I WAS A MISTAKE TO KILL ME. ONLY THIS TIME THE FALL WAS MUCH HIGHER, THE PAIN, MUCH GREATER AND EVERYTHING ELSE WAS WAY MORE PAINFUL THEN WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD.

*RECOVERY*

MANY THINGS HAPPENED, YOU MADE ME TO NOTICE THAT YOURE STILL HERE. AROUND ME. TO MAKE SURE I AM NOT GETTING UP FROM A PLACE YOU KILLED ME.

HAVING THE BEST PEOPLE AROUND ME AND TREATING MYSELF GOOD AND DOING THINGS THAT I LOVE. WITH A TIME I BUILT MYSELF AS A DECENT HUMAN. NOT HAPPY. NOT SAD. NOT MAD. JUST SIMPLE BREATHING CREATURE. I WAS BREATHING AGAIN. ALIVE, MAYBE NOT REALLY. I WAS BETTER ANYWAYS.

*REALIZED PT. 1*

YOU MAYBE CAME MY WAY TO SHOW ME WHAT I CAN BE. AND FUCK ME UP AT THE SAME TIME. BECAUSE THINGS WERE CHANGING. THEY WERE CHANGING BECAUSE I WAS A PERSON WITH NO SOUL. I WAS JUST GOING THROUGH LIFE AS IT NEVER REALLY MATTERED. SO IT HAD TO SHOW ME. THAT I CAN LIVE, BE IN LOVE AND BE SEXY. AT THE SAME TIME. FEELINGS ARE JUST A GAME AND PEOPLE ARE STILL JUST TO HURT YOU.

*FEELINGS*

SOMETIME AGO I HAD MY FIRST REAL CRUSH ON A BOY. I MEAN, EXISTING PERSON IN FRONT OF ME. NOT SOMEWHERE VIRTUALLY. WE MET ONCE, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL BUT COMPLICATED. AS HE WAS NOT LIVING CLOSE. JUST HUNDREDS OF KILOMETERS AWAY. SO IT WAS SOMETHING BUT STILL IT WAS SO SHORT AND THE TIME WAS STOLEN TO ACTUALLY MAKE THIS WORK.

TAKING YOU BACK TO NOW.

THIS FIRST CRUSH AGAIN IS BACK FOR COUPLE OF DAYS. I MEET HIM AND AT THE END OF THE EVENING I KISSED YOU. AND AWKWARD MOMENT TURNED INTO BEAUTIFUL PASSIONATE NIGHT FOR JUST COUPLE OF SECONDS. BUT HIS LIPS TASTED AMAZING.

NEXT DAY I GAVE ROOM FOR YOU TO DO SOMETHING AND YOU DIDNT DO ANYTHING. AND THE NIGHT WAS OVER.

TWO DAYS LATER MY FRIEND HAD THE LAST GOOD BY PARTY AS SHES LEAVING. WE BROUGHT THE PARTY TO HOME AND PARTIED THERE.

TILL YOU SAID YOURE IN TOWN. AND WE MIGHT MEET. TOOK ME COUPLE OF MINUTES TO GET READY, AND MY BESTFRIEND AND OTHER FRIEND WAS ON THE HUNT FOR YOU.

I MET YOU. YOU WERE COLD. I WAS CONFUSED. THEN RUMOR WAS, THAT YOURE GONE. BUT MOMENT LATER YOU WERE THERE. NEXT TABLE. NOT GIVING ANY ATTENTION. ALTHOUGH MY FRIENDS HELPED ME TO GET IT. THEY SAID YOU WERE LOOKING AT ME HOW I DANCE. YOU JOINED OUR TABLE WITH YOUR FRIEND. BUT DIDNT SAY ANYTHING.

THEN MOMENT LATER WE ALL ARE LEAVING FOR ANOTHER PLACE. WE TAKE A CAB AND WE ARE TWO MANY. GIRLS TAKE THE CAB I CALLED AND YOURE LEFT WITH ME.

WHILE WAITING. YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU COULDNT NOT LOOK. YOU LIKED THE WAY I DANCED. AND ACTUALLY YOURE HAPPY THAT ITS JUST YOU AND ME HERE BECAUSE YOU GET TIME WITH ME.

AT THE BAR WE ARE FINALLY GOING TO ORDER DRINKS. YOU AND YOURE FRIEND ARE IN FRONT OF ME. YOURE TOUCHING MY LEG AND I RESPOND. YOURE GIVING ME SIGNALS. I LIKE IT. BY THE TABLE YOU IGNORED ME.

EVENING IS GOING SUPER NOT WELL. AND I AM ALMOST SOBER. I TOOK SHOTS. WE GO OUT TO SMOKE. WE GO BACK FOR THE TOILET.

*Toilet*

THERES TWO DOORS IN THE TOILET. ONE IS TAKEN. I GO FIRST. HEARD YOUR KNOCKS. I GO OUT AND LET YOU GO IN. FUCK, I AM AN IDIO. I DIDNT PULL YOU IN.

YOU CAME OUT. AND ANOTHER PERSON CAME IN. HE IS WASHING HANDS. AND YOURE WAITING TO DO THE SAME. YOURE WASHING YOUR HANDS. ITS JUST YOU AND ME. YOU GIVE ME A LOOK THROUGH THE MIRROR. THAT AGAIN TURN ME ON AND I FELT SOMETHING GOOD. THE NEXT MOMENT. OUR LIPS MEET. I AM AGAINST THE WALL. KISSING. AND ENJOYING. FIREWORKS IN ME. FEELING GOOD. TILL I GOT SCARED IF SOMEONE COMES IN. AND I STOPED. BUT I WAS A FOOL NOT TO GO BACK AND CONTINUE.

THAT WAS IT THAT NIGHT. I FELT AMAZING BUT I WAS MISSING MORE.

NEXT DAY I ACTUALLY COULDNT DRIVE BUT I DROVE YOU HOME. HOLDED YOUR HAND ALL THE WAY. HOPED MAYBE WILL CONTINUE WHAT WE STARTED LAST NIGHT. BUT NO, NOTHING HAPPENED. IT WAS ONLY YESTERDAY.

*SAME EVENING*

I AM HOME WITH MY PARENTS. I THINK ITS ENOUGH. BUT TO SAY FAST. THEY TOLD ME THAT I AM HORRIBLE. SHITTY SON, AND I FELT HOW MAD AND UNHAPPY THEY ARE WITH ME. I SAW HATE. AND DIDNT KNOW ABOUT WHAT WAS THAT. AND SOMETIMES ALL YOU NEED IS ACCEPTANCE FROM YOUR PARENTS. FOR YOUR PARENTS TO SAY - YOURE DOING GREAT SON. KEEP UP. NEVER HEARD THAT. AND THE QUESTION IN MY HEAD IS - WHAT DID I DO SO WRONG? DO THEY LOVE ME?

MOMENT I REALIZED ...

I AM EMPTY. ALL THESE PEOPLE JUST TOOK ALL THERE WAS LEFT IN ME. AND WE ARE BACK AT THE STARTING POINT. THATS HOW ACTUALLY I FEEL. PEOPLE SHIT ON ME. AND I AM UNHAPPY. BUT AT THE SAME TIME - HOW DO I KNOW? I AM REALLY EMPTY.

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myinnerletters · 3 years

Text

3/8/21

I guess if the last time i wrote on this was in January is ok. I feel like ive been really struggling for the last week and a bit. This most recent lockdown has really impacted me - i feel like i cant hold onto anything too long, i feel jaded, i feel like its hard to see a light out or a way forward.

It’s hard to feel lonely and isolated from my family again. I can’t see them and even if i could, i know it would be tricky because of our weird dynamics. It upsets me to hear saphta covid denying. i want so badly to protect all of them but i know i cant. I know i cant do anything to stop covid or keep them safe. I know to keep me safe i have to stay here in Melbourne, but it feels odd. I feel almost orphan beng seperated like this. I belong to a family. I belong to many families but my connection feels so weird. It feels weird to miss them. Its something that i try to not tell them. Which i know is wrong of me to be withholding, but to say i miss them is to also say in part i miss dysfunction. Obviously we are all in a better place then all those years ago. But there are still some chaotic elements there.

I sit here riddlin around in my head with thoughts non stop. The anti depressants have been pretty good at keeping the background prattle quiet but its happening more atm. I am getting my tasks done. But my emotions are flip floppy. I finish all my work im overjoyed, several hours later im despondent and inconsolable. i was proud of my media release and then i feared my friends would tear it apart.

I know Noam loves me. I know he cares for me. I know he is also going through his own things at times. But i keep doing this dumb thing where i start shit. Asking him like tonight if he thinks im too emotional and telling him that i dont know how he does it with me. I as a kid was a sponge and took on everything around me that people said, i was so eager to please that i adapted these parts into my personality, into who i am. Dad worries that im too emotional. He says “does he not mind that youre so emotional”. I know this is more about my dad then about me. I know mum was “too much” for him so now he has a relationship with a woman who personally i dont think is particularly healthy, butit seems they dont fight and thats what he needs. But my dad, although he has always been there for me and is my rock sometimes thinks im too sensitive to things. And then i start worrying that noam will start thinking that. Even though nothing has happened. But my brain prattles on thinking that i am too much, and i dont know how he can date me and im WAY too emotional. Then he says he doesnt think that way and i get anxious, i get annoyed for bringing it up, i start thinking ive doomed everything. It’s over and i wish i hadnt brought it up in the first place cause now i feel vulnerable and wide open and see through. Just because i feel like im too emotional, like my mood swings and my depression will at some point be too much for him and he will walk away.

I know that we have lots of beautiful memories. Most of our times are fun. We explore a lot and dont need much but eeach other to enjoy each others company. But then i do these things, this is the second time this week ive been like this and i just think why does he bother with me. I am just so much work. My friends didnt reply to a message and then i felt left out. THis most recent turmoil came because i sent noam a video of me singing, but when i listened back i didnt like how i sounded. Im still paranoid that everytime the downstairs neighbour opens the door downstairs its to give me a hint to stop, even though she has all her phone calls outside.

Singing is such a weird thing for me. Its so personal and ive always been critiqued. I couldnt act for all those years because i had to get my singing right and being the perfectionist i was it never was good enough. I tried though. Then seeing pip wasnt good for my mental health, yes my voie sounded great but i had to go to such mental leeps and bounds to get there. I am out of practice. I stopped singing as much last year. Mostly because i was trying to be mindfull of housemates, when at times they werent mindful of me. No one asked me but i did it. And also because i didnt want jacuqi commenting on it. Also because i couldnt allow myself to love theatre, because it keeps falling through and even now i am so anxious about writing a show or doing a show because the state of our country and covid gives me no hope.

I dont like how i sound and i know i could work on it. I could work on the singing and instead of nitpicking, reckon with the fact that i havent worked on my singing properly and im trying to find joy doing it. Maybe im best off not recording myself and playing it back to myself when i sing to noam. and just send it and be done with it. It triggered an old response from uni. something i havent experienced for a while.

To be honest, this last lockdown and comign out of it hasnt given me much hope. Jessie calls me to compare lockdowns, how theres is the worst, saphta says we live in comunist australia and shes so lonely and i wish i could hlep but i know i cant do much. Im giving a lot to my clients becuase i dont want them to feel low post lockdown, i want them to feel good and enjoy moving, but im having a harder time picking myself up each time. Getting back into it. It takes more strain, more resilience. Its harder each time to bounce back. I just cant imagine ever going back to normal. Or when ill see my family which stresses me out.

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kosmicdream · 6 years

Note

hi i just discovered your webcomic !! i very much love it a lot and i was wondering if yo could maybe clear up the worm's anatomy ? cuz like, one minute they have boobs except its referred to as a he and then it has a dick but its still a queen ? don't get me wrong its insanely cool but if you would be so kind as to enlighten me on the subject it would be very much appreciated !! keep up the good work !!

I’ve been getting a lot of new readers and I think its been a while since i’ve gotten questions about this, so I suppose I don’t mind recirculating some information again. Hopefully i can cover a little bit more of the deeper nuances about worms and their relationship to gender/sex/pronouns that i haven’t talked about before. Its best to keep in mind that pronouns and also body parts (genitals/breasts, ect) arent always indicative of gender or sex. I think this is safe to say this is true for.. even outside of my story.

**SOME SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU HAVENT READ THE ENTIRE COMIC... SORRY I RAMBLED***

Anyway-- In the case of hydragora worms (which ill focus on as they are the ones with the king/queens classifications), their pronouns are not even exactly related to their genders or sex at all! but rather the type of ‘class’ of worm they are. Technically, all worms are able to lay eggs and also fertilize them. there are no “girl” or “boy” worm. Sometimes their rituals with how this process happens are different depending on what kind of worm they are, but they are all able to shape-shift their bodies to look how they want-- well, based on what they eat-- so body parts like boobs and genitals are really just accessories. For some worms, they’re important parts of their body that help make them comfortable, for others they couldnt give a fuck about what is swinging around. it really depends on the individual. Worms can mate without even having any visible genitals just as long as they squirm around in the necessary fun fluids with some sort of .. open.. orifice to absorb it with.... worm sex can be real damn freaky i wont get into it rn.

Back to the pronouns though. What does it mean??? Well, Kings do not actually mean male and Queens do not mean female..Even though we humans generally associate these pronouns/words with male and female! To make it as simple as i can, I try to explain or ask others to think of it like..Kings (he/him) - Typical characteristics: Lazy, Important, Need to be worshipped and protected. Very sexually appealing. Also have mysterious powers. Often have little weird crowns.Queens (she/her) - Characteristics: generally very large, can regenerate, specifically hunt down kings to kill them. Super strong. Generally have cool looking tails for some reason. Very colorful because that is useful for intimidation and showing off how strong they are.Regular worms: want to worship kings + protect them, also desire to become knights. technically speaking-- i would say that the lack of pronouns is the most ‘suitable’ pronoun to describe them. some even casually adopt he/she/they pronouns but usually in the space of interacting with other species. anyway, they’re loyal and subservient. knight worms: the special king-appointed upgrade of regular worms, they often adopt he/him pronouns through this process but it is reflective of their close bond with their king. (the very simple format is thinking the three basic worm genders as LAZY, MURDER and WORSHIP.)

*ok more specific character spoilrs below YOUUUVE BEEN WARNNNED IM WARNING YOOOU ok done warning**

Some worms break from this system and try to reinvent or reinterpret pronouns for their own while still interacting with worm culture/society. A couple examples of worms that do this are Agent Paper and Nail. (although really, its hard to think what worm character in ffak does not do this lol) Paper is a woman wishes to be viewed/treated as a woman by ANY species she interacts with. But! this doesnt mean she identifies as being a queen worm however- even tho she uses she/her pronouns. She just is a female worm. That identity is important to her even if, for a worm, it is far more ‘binary’ way of thinking than worms typically exhibit. Other worms will probably view her as a wanna-be-human or close minded. But just because the majority of worms are very fluid in many aspects of their gender/bodies/identity/sexuality doesn’t mean paper has to conform to this fluidity as well. The idea of a ‘Binary Gender’ for worms is typically very confusing (or an example of someone who is misinformed) to those who understand that worms generally do not adhere to a binary system. Especially for a worm who is NOT trying to disguise themselves as a human and integrate with human society (Aka, like Dylan who mostly interacts with humans and generally tries to remove herself from worm culture/society completely. Dylan does not even WANT to be considered a worm while paper still LOVES being a worm and associating herself with worms. shes just a woman worm. dylan is a woman. just not a worm woman. she will begrudgingly accept she is still technically a worm, but the identity of woman is less important to her and is more just the default of being viewed as a cis lady by humans and dylan is like ‘yeah whatevs’.)Nail is a queen worm, which typically have she/her pronouns, but he goes by he/him pronouns and also is fairly assertive of that. However, this doesnt mean he is a man or wishes to be viewed a ‘Man’ or ‘Male' (specifically) or even as a “King.” its more like... his own interpretation of what he/him means, which is about authority, dominance and most importantly: power. If he would pick a ‘binary gender sort of thing’ (while rolling his eyes bc he thinks its stupid while also thinking its important enough to get annoyed at when people dont respect his pronouns) he would pick being a man and would vehemently reject being viewed as a woman, but in a more deeper level that is not actually how he sees his he/him pronouns as a man thing. (even between being NB/male/female he would still pick man because that just seems ‘direct to the point.’ and satisfying) He also generally rejects the label of Queen worm too, but will begrudgingly or unenthusiastically accept that he is one. He is also considered an ‘odd’ queen because he is very small in stature and generally has muted colors of browns/tans instead of flashy ones. He has been teased at this too that he wasnt QUEEN enough by being so small and puny lmao.

To backtrack a little, As worms integrate with human society, or even hekatons (which that species also mimics a lot of human society), they will often adopt the ideology and system of how pronouns are used. Or at least, will be forced to process how other species will view them based on the shared language of using the same words, despite it meaning many different things... to not only groups of people but also on the individual level. I think thats an important thing to consider that there are many different dynamics, interpretations and journeys interacting all at once and influencing each other and are constantly evolving and branching out. Even the lines between what is a king/queen/other worms really ARE is blurry because its all on a spectrum of.. various physical characteristics and behaviors.

And to go into EVOLUTION and BLURRY LINES... As we can see with a worm like, Jacket for example... while he is specifically NOT a king, he is also more like a unique blend of features from queens/regular worms and also knights. because he WANTS to be a knight he already uses he/him pronouns despite not actually having a king already and hasnt even gone through the specific knighting process. Jacket sees He/him as words that mean total loyalty to the king. Whoever the king is. And if someone were to try to put him in a specific box of queen/king/knight/regular worm they would be unable to place him b/c he is something else unique entirely. and while jacket uses he/him pronouns i think at the core of it he literally does not give a fuck about language at all, or genders, or labels. those are all nonsense things. he relies only on instinct and desire.

Phew. ok I could ramble on and describe every one of my worm characters, but I’ll leave it at there for now. Crimson is even more confusing bc she is a fucking hybrid human/mandragora worm, using a goddamn hydragora body, and has like 2 other clone heart selves and all this other fucking bullshit. i have been writing this for like an hour. lmao

I hope some of this is communicates at least, its a little difficult to orchestrate and articulate all the levels operating here at once in a simple-to-digest manner. the fun thing about ffak at least is that if you dont want to think about this stuff you dont really have to--although id think it enriches the experience a bit.

#ffak faq #ffak #feast for a king #paper #dylan #nail #jacket #hydragora worm #this is long as fuck #tethys-dimensional

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dndfuckhouse · 3 years

Text

CuriousCat Archive

A series of Q&A’s that were sent onto the group curiouscat, now imported here for readability and easy editing :y

Q - would psalm suck toes? y/n

Psalm: When would I ev-? Actually, never mind. The answer is no, of course not.

Q - Does Amos only eat cheese...

Keva: he takes when he can get

Q - plum you ever smoke weed before just curious

Plum: NO NEVER SMOKED BEFORE

Q - Han what is your hair care routine

Han: well its less mine and more a friend of mine's... they just gave me some gooey stuff that smells real nice and told me to use it once a week!! i dont know what to do about the growing black roots tho..... :(

Q - mister finn have u ever kissed before...

Finn: T-thats a very personal question! How rude... I've done it once, of course.

Q - han, would you drink with finn again? are you two getting closer?

Han: ...its easier to get close the more drunk we get so ye....

Q - Han, whats your favourite liquor? -Finn

Han: THE FASTER IT GETS ME DRUNK THE BETTER !!!!!!

Q - Psalm, do you believe in fate?

Psalm: Fate is a very romantic notion, and in the past I probably would've said no. Right now I have no choice but to believe in it, I think.

Q - on a scale of 1 to 10 han how much did you enjoy your fight with psalm (the one from the rp channel)

Han: ONE!!!!!! IM GLAD HE ACCEPTED BUT I DIDNT FUCKING WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but ill win next time watch out psalm this tiger is OUT FOR BLOOD Psalm: :psalmface:

Q - on a scale of one to ten how much did PSALM enjoy his fight with han !

Psalm: It was enjoyable because I won, although I was hoping it'd last a bit longer. 7. :psalmface:

Q - WHATS FINNS FAVOURITE LIQUOR!!!!!!

Finn: Classy red wine!

Q - rokka what do you think about your street performance career? do u have any ambitions?!

Rokka: IT’S FUN! I enjoy watching people's amazed faces especially the children. Ambitions...? Maybe? *rokka falls into thinking man pose for a very long time*

Q - Rokka, how do you keep your fur so soft and pretty? -Finn

Rokka: ⭐STEPS TO ROKKA'S FUR CARE !!!!!! ⭐ 1) bathe in lakes! or rivers! (I personally like lakes hehe) 2) SHAKE IT DRY! shakeshakeshake (be careful of dizziness!!) 3) lick palms and smooth down ur fur. (this is the secret) 4) DONE! (congrats u have nice fur!!!!!!!)

Q - What was your first kiss like finn?

Finn: Thats a little secret between me and god.

Q - :):(

Rokka: who are you and what does this mean Psalm: It's a secret code. Why not try deciphering it?

Q - finn whats your favourite blood type? pls and thx

Finn: I'm usually not open about this, but I only consume animal blood. I dont have a favourite. Beef based strikes me as the least worst so far.

Q - psalm does it hurt to cough up smoke? how bothered are you by it?

Psalm: I wouldn't say it hurts, but it feels about as pleasant as you'd imagine coughing up smoke would feel, which is to say, not pleasant at all. It mostly just makes it hard to breath, but considering the reason it happens I'm not sure I'm allowed to complain. I'd rather not take my chances.

It does bother me though.

Q - keva, do you prefer being alone or with friends?

Keva: friends

Q - keva, whats your favourite food?

Keva: roasted quail

Q - Does plum always text in all caps? Do they do that to show all their suppressed anger

Plum: does it seem suppressed.... DOES IT SEEM SUPPRESSE

Q - plum, why did you decide to go to the ball as a guest with vinny? did you think it was better cover than being a guard?

Plum: just didnt think id be much use as a bodyguard also i wanted to dress up...

Q - to everyone: would you fuck on the first date ? 🤔

Han: i only fuck on the first date Psalm: No. Finn: What is it with these rude questions? Rokka: UHHHHHHH---? WH=HAHA WHAT? Keva: no Plum: what the fuck Cimmorro: i’ve never, but i don’t see why not if we liked each other enough. i’ve to say i’m difficult to impress on the first day gyahaha

Q - actually to everyone, whats your favourite food?

Psalm: There's a dish back in my hometown that we'd eat on holidays called “Smelt and Salt". Most travellers tend to find it salty to the point of being inedible, but I think its delicious. Finn: The servants at our residence are quite skilled, I enjoyed almost everything they make. When I was alive, I favored simple chicken breast with baked vegetables though. Rokka: Nothing can go wrong with a big ol' pot of beef and potato stew! I love soups Han: we dont get a lot of fruit way south so i was so surprised when i saw lots of it at shorewater!!!!! ITS SO SWEET AND DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!! Plum: theres this stew that my whole family comes together to make for special occasions and we put a lot of roots and flowers and vegetables in it its pretty good. havent had it in a while

Q - *like a kpop interviewer* to everyone: so what would your ideal partner be like? >:3c

Han: if they can dish out as much as they can take Psalm: Someone who is fun to be around. Loyalty is nice too. Finn: Someone who can handle me and is genuinely interested in all facets of my life. Rokka: Someone who can enjoy the world with me especially nature. Accept me! P.S. Psalm, I am fun and loyal........ :pleading: Plum: uhhh... someone kind i guess Keva: (visibly uncomfortable and unwilling to answer) Cimmorro: honest and devoted. someone who is easygoing would be a nice addition.

Q - WHY DO YOU FUCKERS NEVER PUT DOWN THE FUCKING TOILET SEAT IN THIS HOUSE!! SOME OF US ARE SMALL IN SIZE AND KEEP FUCKING FALLING IN

Psalm: Not saying I'm the culprit, but you honestly could just check first. Rokka: I always try to remember to put it down! Although, I may or may not have forgotten once......................or 10 times.................................. Keva: you're tall enough to look before you sit

Q - Rokka, don't forget you owe me a drink the next time we find a tavern. - Psalm

Rokka: you got it, boss! but........can we have round 2.........please...........please.............................please.............please............................plea--[commercials cues]

Q - birthdays? birthdays?

Psalm: My birthday is on the 8th of Solstitium. Plum: 32nd of soltrice Keva: (briefly crinkles nose and doesn't answer) Han: i dont know! no one in my tribe kept track of things like that. judging by stories i think it during elfons? Rokka: hibernon, solvo 74! Cimmorro: 55th of umbrois. i’m expecting presents now that you all know!

Q - favourite season

Psalm: Aestas. It's a bit silly, but my birthday falls around this time so I've always been rather fond of it. Keva: elfons Plum: elfons Rokka: Elfons! where the grass is greenies Han: elfons... i like it when it goes from cold to warmer temperatures :) Cimmorro: rahtumna.

Q - before making a call (over sending stone or message or whatever) do you ever rehearse what you're going to say? why?

Psalm: Depending on the circumstances, yes. Rokka: No need to think when speaking. Cimmorro: depends if there are specific people i’m contacting. i generally don’t really care though.

Q - if you could be anything job-wise and nothing could hold you back, what would you want to be?

Psalm: I've never really given that much thought. I don't really make any grand plans for myself, as they tend to go awry fairly often. I think I'd enjoy writing plays...perhaps. Keva: don't know, never thought about it Rokka: I've also never thought about this <:9 Han: ah... i would like to travel again... Cimmorro: i like the way things are right now. [mumbling] if anything, i’m more worried about losing it...

Q - what would be a "perfect" day for you?

Psalm: I enjoy plays quite a bit, so if I could spend an entire day watching a good series of performances I'd be quite happy. Some good company wouldn't hurt either. (As long as they don't talk.) Keva, after thinking for so long it seems like she's not going to answer: being home with nothing important to do Plum: I JUST WANT TO GO HOME Rokka: running through a grassy land and bask in the sun (๑￫ܫ￩)

Q - when did you last sing to yourself? to someone else?

Psalm: My singing voice is rather unpleasant, so I don't do it often. Keva: a month ago? i guess? who would even keep track Rokka: I like to sing every time I bathe! rubba dub dub rubba doot doot rubba dee dee its nothing but a squeaky clean me!!!!!!!!!! Han: (flushes) it was a while back Cimmorro: i was part of the choir in my childhood. i was pretty okay! can’t say the same for the present though ahahaha

Q - what was the last dream you remember?

Psalm: I'd rather not say. Keva: (doesn't answer) Rokka: *thinking face*

Q - toilet paper over or under?

Psalm: Over? I'm not an animal. Plum: what.... the fuck is this asking Rokka: Is there a difference...?

Q - if you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Plum: ...... [plum is starting to look uncomfortable] Keva: (laughs, doesn't answer) Psalm: I'm perfectly fine with how I was raised. Han: (laughs) oh, throw the whole thing out Rokka: nice answers everyone. NEXT QUESTION! :D Cimmorro: wait, hmm… not so much on the way of raising but more on a certain part of the situation, i suppose?

Q - what is your most terrible memory?

Psalm: *Looks somewhat distressed.* Plum: THIS IS MAKING ME ANGRY. IM NOT ANSWERING ANYMORE OF THESE TONIGHT. Rokka: please stop asking these questions you're making my friends upset. This is upsetting.

Q - is there something you've dreamed about doing for a long time? why haven't you done it?

Psalm: I wouldn't say for a long time, but I haven't done it because I can't. Simple as that. Keva: can't anymore Rokka: Life hands you lemons so you gotta eat them. *nods* （￣ー￣） Han: i wanted to learn singing. why... well. life doesn't work sometimes. Cimmorro: when i was a child, i dreamed of being at the top of the clergy’s hierarchy. then that immediately got crushed when i was told that only women were allowed to lead the church bahahaha! that was back then. right now i’m satisfied with my position and still have much to learn. but if the opportunity arises and i meet the requirements, i wouldn’t say no to seating as the high mother.

Q - if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

Psalm: I'm torn between knowing the truth about one thing from the past, and a very selfish glimpse into the future. Keva: (doesn't answer, but seems to think about the question) Rokka: *vibrates* Han: there are so many things i want answers for, i dont think i could choose. Cimmorro: [visibly cringing as several things come to mind]

Q - of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? why?

Psalm: Lots of morbid questions here. I'll pass on this one. Keva: orin Rokka: please i'm begging you..............please stop with these questions...... Cimmorro: … [quitely glances at how the others respond instead of answering]

Q - how close and warm is your family? do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?

Han: (laughter that becomes progressively louder in volume) Psalm: I quite enjoyed my childhood, but given the reactions of the others it seems I might be the only one fortunate enough to be able to say that... Keva: i liked a part of it Plum: dont know what the fuck psalm is talking about. ive had the happiest childhood a halfling could have thank you i wish i could be back home right now, actually Rokka: it had its up and downs. i mean, who doesn't!! Cimmorro: [laughs] i think mine is seen as particularly “strange” by most people, but i personally have enjoyed it regardless.

Q - how do you feel about your relationship to your primary caregiver growing up?

Psalm: At the moment, I'd say its rather complicated on my part. I'm ashamed to say why. Keva: i don't Han: *looks visibly sick for a second* ... poorly :) Plum: as in my mom and pop? i love those two Rokka: Tough love? Finn: Cold. Cimmorro: [beaming] grateful! i love em! would do anything to treat them at least even half as much as they’ve treated me.

Q - what roles do love and affection play in your life?

Psalm: I just LOVE to be AFFECTIONATE with people, so I'd say quite a large one :psalmface:. Rokka: i got to befriend han! and finn! Also, psalm it's not good to lie to the people. Finn: R-rokka I'm touched... Right now, love and affection couldn't be further removed from my life but hopefully one day, they'll play a bigger role for me. Han: (shrugs) i like having sex Cimmorro: i take pride in making sure that people who are important to me know that they are. it’s also the way they have treated me.

Q - for what in life do you feel most grateful for?

Psalm: ...Well I made it to Shorewater somehow. Rokka: meeting Han! Han: *was about to say something different but is so touched by rokka* dude......really? q_q me too dude.... Finn: My uncle. But recently I've made some good friends, I feel... Cimmorro: the goddess’ guidance.

Q - what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Psalm: I- . Hm. For now, let's say it was beating Rokka at stone, parchment, shears. Keva: i'm here Rokka: PSALM PLEASE ROUND 2 Finn: So far I have nothing to my name, but that might change soon. I pray it will.

Q - if you were to die this evening with opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? why haven't you told them yet?

Psalm: Where I hid my buried treasure. Han: i wont die. Psalm: I like that answer. Rokka: Why are you like this, anon? Finn: I'd want to talk to Orin one last time.

Q - share an embarrassing moment from your life

Psalm: I fumbled a joke I was trying to make with Finn the other day. I won't go any further into the past than that, thanks. Finn: Ah, so it was a joke? Please don't worry about it Psalm. Rokka: nearly burning my friends alive because I sneezed. :(

Q - what's your favourite weapon and why

Psalm: For reasons I won't disclose let's just say I'm not very fond of weapons, my current one in particular. :psalmface: Spells are more useful. Keva: daggers, easy to carry around and hide Rokka: I guess my scimitars? They can cut plants and meat well so i can (try to) cook! Finn: I love swords!! All swords! (he sparkles with excitement) Han: i like being close and personal with someone but also enjoy the quiet rush of hitting a target from a bow Cimmorro: i use a dagger but if i had a spear or an axe that would be kinda awesome actually.

Q - questions to fall in love here we go! 1) if you could invite anyone in the world to dinner, who would it be?

Psalm: ...I have a friend I haven't seen in a while, so I suppose I'd invite him. Keva: do they have to be alive Psalm: I was wondering the same thing. Plum: i would want to eat dinner with my whole village but if its only one person then my sister. dont really like going to dinner one on on if i can help it but maybe thats something halflings dont like because theyre not antisocial bastards Rokka: Do I HAVE to pick one? :( Finn: ... Rokka! I'd love to dine with everyone though. Han: oh, maybe aster? or ferrie chris? or uhh... (Han starts to look bashful and stops answering) Cimmorro: willow.

Q - if you all were on a boat (lmao) and it was sinking and you could only save one person from the party who would it be

Plum: rokka or finn but i wouldnt be on a fucking boat if i could help it Psalm: Plum, as they are arguably the only one I could carry. Oh, and Finn I suppose. Plum: WOW THANK YOU THOUGH YOUD PROBABLY SINK LIKE A STONE Keva: finn Finn: T-thank you all... (blushes and gets too distracted to answer) Rokka: This question is stressing me out. I'm stressed. This is stressful. Han: myself? is this trick question Cimmorro: myself so i can do this: [casts water walk] don’t worry bros i got this

Q - complete this sentence. "i wish i had someone with whom i could share..."

Psalm: I have nothing to share. Rokka: ...this drink with! (psalm, round 2 please) Finn: my fate. Han: my past, without fear

Q - what, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

Psalm: I'd say death, but ha. Rokka: what roomie said Finn: I don't like jokes about my family and especially my uncle. Cimmorro: Wee Jas.

Q - when did you last cry in front of another person? by yourself?

Psalm: I haven't cried since I was a kid. Rokka: can we have more fun questions please :( Finn: I rarely ever cry. But last time I did, I was comforted by someone precious. Han: oh that was... (han becomes embarrassed) it is stupid Cimmorro: [wearily looks over where ezra is currently sitting across the room]

Q - do you have a secret hunch about how you're going to die

Plum: i wouldnt say secret but yes Psalm: Ugh. Keva: had a few, anything goes now i guess Rokka: why would you ask this? I don't like this question. :( Finn: Not just a hunch. Han: i won't die!!! what's with these questions Cimmorro: nothing in particular. i just hope that it will be by the goddess’ fates.

Q - fmk vinny cole ezra

Psalm: (What kind of agenda is this?) F - Vinny, M - Cole, K - Ezra. Keva: fuck ezra marry cole kill vinny Psalm: Ah Keva, finishing your doppelganger's job for her I see. That's a bit harsh. Keva: (lifts her hands in a halfhearted shrug) Rokka: Friend: cole, Meet: Vinny, K....klean for ezra......................... (in the periphery of the shot keva stares into the camera for the entirety of rokka's response) Han: fuck ezra marry cole kill vinny Finn: Who are these people? What is "fmk"? Cimmorro: f-vinny, m-cole, k-ezra

Q - Everyone, where would you like to visit someday?

Psalm: I'm not really one for traveling but since we seem to be headed there already, Vargonia sounds interesting. There's probably a lot to do there. Rokka: I like open land so anywhere with one? Finn: Sharrif!! If I wasn't dutybound at home I'd love to move there. Keva: never thought about it Han: oh oh oh! some guy passed the inn and said there are mountains that reach into another PLANE in sonnate!!! i wanna go there!!!!!! Cimmorro: i’d like to see the arcane well myself heehee

Q - what's your earliest memory? is this too spoilery idk i'm shooting my shot

Psalm: I'm pretty sure it was when my mother dropped me into the ocean by accident. Why I have no fear of swimming because of this has yet to reveal itself to me. Plum: i remember........ bumping into the kitchen table when i was younger and something might've been a rolling pin hitting me on the head and then fucking crying obviously and my parents swinging me around Rokka: I remember seeing a little bug flying around and chasing it all around so that I could tell them I thought they looked cute.....I was too small to reach the little bug on the tree though haha Keva: i don't remember her name Finn: Playing with my cousins, surrounded by our family. Han: being held by big, heavy hands. close to the chest. Cimmorro: falling off a cliff lol

Q - i had assumed psalms arcane power was new to him but is it actually?

Psalm: An interesting assumption. I'd love to know why you think so.

Q - PSALM ROUND 2 PLEASE - rokka

Psalm: I'll think about it.

Q - how do you sleep the best?

Rokka: laying sprawled on my back is the best! Sometimes fetal. Finn: I actually... do enjoy sleeping in my coffin. So in confined spaces I suppose. Sharing a bed with Rokka was very comfortable too. (Rokka self-fives himself in the bg) Psalm: Having horns makes sleeping on my back a bit of an issue, but they sit just on top of my head enough for me to sleep reasonably well on my side. Cimmorro: i don’t remember anymore… can’t say i’ve slept very well the last few years

Q - what was your mode of travel to shorewater?

Rokka: mode..? Oh, hard mode! Finn: Hard mode? Keva: (looks at the camera) Psalm: Boat. Han: foot, the odd cart here and there. Cimmorro: i stayed on land as much as possible through various modes.

Q - around what time do you prefer to eat dinner?

Rokka: any time is good in my book! Keva: late enough to not be hungry before i sleep Finn: .................. Psalm: Early evening? I've never given it much thought.

Q - if you knew in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you're living? why?

Psalm: My life right now is not something that is within my ability to change. Rokka: Same as roomie here...I don't think I want to be falsely accused of murder... Cimmorro: … no. i’ll just have to keep trying until such time comes.

Q - what’s your typical bed time? any routines?

Rokka: Never too late! I like to do some quick stretches after a long day for a good nights rest! Most of the time I just plop down lol Finn: I like to stay up past sunrise actually. Psalm: No. I usually go right to sleep. Preferably as early as possible since I don't like being tired. Cimmorro: i try to keep a strict and healthy routine but [sigh]

Q - what's something you might like for (insert gift-giving custom for holiday equivalent here)?

Finn: Jewellery and swords. Psalm: A good book would be nice. I also like masks. Rokka: I'll like anything as long as it came from their heart! Just the idea of them thinking about me warms me up. Cimmorro: same as rokka.

Q - how do you stay fit?

Rokka: 250 Push-ups, 250 Yard Handwalk, Jump Rope- 2000 Times, 250 Straight Punches to Heavy Bag, 250 Roundhouse Kicks to Heavy Bag, annnnnd 500 Squats. Finn: Thats quite impressive Rokka: ... (Rokka salutes) Psalm: I wouldn't say I'm the most physically fit man out there. (8 STR) Cimmorro: morning walks, maybe even jogs, if i’ve got the time to spare… which is almost never. does carrying stacks of books count?

Q - to everyone: do you like anime

Rokka: what's anime? :0 Psalm: ...Animals? They're alright. I like small ones, like puppies, kittens, chicks etc. Finn: If you've seen Promare, please DM me.

Q - do you prefer meat or veggies

Rokka: meat......but veggies are good too.......can I pick both? Psalm: Meat. Finn: Meat as well. Han: meeeeeat Cimmorro: i find it difficult to enjoy a meal without having both.

Q - what is your most treasured memory

Psalm: :psalmface: Rokka: :) Finn: ^___^ Han: (Han thinks briefly and then blushes, embarrassed)

Q - how do you feel about physical touch? yea? nay?

Finn: I dont experience much of it but I enjoy it when I do. Keva: depends Psalm: I prefer to keep to myself. Rokka: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *hugs Psalm* Psalm: *Sighs* Han: (shrugs) everyone was always touching me, so am used to it. Cimmorro: big no! unless we’re close, don’t touch me.

Q - what does friendship mean to you?

Psalm: God is that you? Rokka: Everything! Psalm, is God your friend? Psalm: *suddenly regretting his answer*

Q - coffee or tea?

Rokka: TEA! Psalm: I'm not particularly fond of either, but if I had to pick, tea. Finn: Tea! What kind do you favor Psalm? Psalm: Chamomile or mint, depending on what's available. And yourself? Finn: Oh, I quite like that one too. My favourite is Rose Petal Blend though, perhaps we could share a cup- *remembers vampirism* Ah- perhaps I could have... a cup of blood if it doesnt disgust you. Psalm: That wouldn't disgust me at all. Just pick a day. Finn: *crying cat* Keva: never had coffee Cimmorro: coffee. though one of my parents often share their special tea brew with me in the afternoons or long nights of work. it’s pretty much the only kind of tea i like… i miss it.

Q - what's a favourite feature of yourself? can be external or internal, or both

Finn: I took good care of my hair before I became undead. So my hair would've been it. Psalm: Regarding physical traits...my mother and I have identical eyes and horns. Mum found it cute, so I guess I grew up being somewhat fond as well... Interal, I don't self reflect that often. I'll leave that unanswered. Rokka: I like my blue fur! and eyes! Keva: (shrugs) don't think about that sorta thing Han: (Han becomes increasingly despondent the more she thinks) none is good enough. i need to be better. Cimmorro: my cleric magic!!!!!!!!! \\\\o//// i also like my hair and tail a lot!

Q - what’s something you used to be afraid of as a kid?

Finn: My aunt was quite scary haha. Psalm: When my mother got mad at me... Rokka: Loud noises Keva: throwing up Cimmorro: oh i used to see a shadow of a demon in my quarters quite often for a few years. freaked me out a lot of times but i believe lady wee jas protected me since that demon never did come to harm me at all. :D

Q - do you know the muffin man?

Rokka: The muffin man..? Finn: The muffin man... I would like to meet him. Keva: what

Q - what’s your preferred weather

Rokka: Sunny! but with a nice breeze! (≧▽≦) Finn: I dislike rain, but fog can be nice to watch. Since I only operate at night now clear weather is preferred. Psalm: I like sunny weather, but rainy days are nice when I don't have to be outside. Keva: warm and clear Cimmorro: same as psalm.

Q - are you an early riser or late sleeper?

Rokka: EARLY WOLF CATCHES THE DEER Psalm: Depends on when I need to get up. Keva: depends Cimmorro: both…. 🤦‍♂️

Q - what are your feelings on pda

Rokka: What's "peh-dah"? Psalm: I have no problem with it, although I dislike drawing attention to myself, so then again... Cimmorro: depends, but especially dislike it during work.

Q - what’s your best “my coworkers are crazy” story?

Rokka: (nervously glances back at everyone) Um...Uh...Haha (forced smile) Keva: (doesn't break eye contact with the camera as she gestures at the rest of the party) Psalm: I was partnered with a friend once for a... well a thing that we had to do, and he somehow managed to gamble away all of his clothing. Cimmorro: all of this right now

Q - what's your favourite type of bread

Keva: bread Rokka: Any is good! Psalm: Croissants are nice. Cimmorro: any as long as it’s fresh out of the oven.

Q - when was the last time you laughed so hard it was hard to stop? what was so funny?

Psalm: Refer to the "coworker" answer.

Q - guilty pleasures?

Psalm: I like to read poetry. I only feel guilty about it because a friend of mine said it made me seem too brooding, and now I'm a bit self conscious Cimmorro: playing pranks on my coworkers during break

Q - are you still in touch with friends from your childhood?

Keva: some of them Rokka: I wish I could say that Psalm: Not for a couple months now, no. Finn: Yes! My friend Sagessa and I are penpals, so even if we're far apart we can always talk!! Han: (han shakes her head dejectedly) Cimmorro: mhm

Q - who's someone interesting you met recently

Rokka: Finn!!!!! He can turn into things! so cool Psalm: I would also have say Finn, as I'd never met a vampire before now. Not to say the rest of you aren't interesting enough. Finn: *turns into a bat and hangs himself upside down from Rokka's shoulder* Han: (han looks around warily) (whispers) psalm BUT DONT TELL HIM THAT!!!! what is that guys DEAL Cimmorro: i agree about finn

Q - what's the best day you've had recently?

Rokka: Hard to say with whats been happening Psalm: "Recently" is a bit of a stretch. Finn: I had a good time at the ball with Orin! Cimmorro: the king consort accepting my offer was cool and exciting. feel like i haven’t had a normal job in years with how long these weeks have been going pffff

Q - do you have siblings

Psalm: It's entirely within the realm of possibility, but none that I'd ever care to meet. Keva: don't know Han: yes Cimmorro: in a way, yes

Q - how important is fashion to you

Finn: If I dont look good whats the point of anything. Psalm: Not very. Keva: it's not Rokka: Somewhat? I just bought my first and only shirt ever!! that's pretty fashionable of myself if you asked me. B) Han: (gets bashful) there are some cute dresses i see around town but... :wiwi: Cimmorro: [gestures at all of himself] :-)

Q - do you have any personal belongings that you would feel upset about losing? what are they?

Psalm: No, I've never really had any attachment to material things. I suppose there is this dagger I've picked up recently that has served some use, so maybe that...maybe. Finn: My earrings or my sword. I cherish them. Han: yeah. some weapons i have were made by uuh. a significant person in my life. Cimmorro: my headpiece and holy symbol. other jewelry pieces i have i can replace easily, but not these…

Q - if you had a completely free day with no responsibilities or obligations, what would you do with your time?

Finn: Honestly? I'd like to sleep and dream about nice things. Rokka: I would love to go sight seeing at places i haven't been to! Han: oh me too Rokka!!!! maybe we can go together someday :) Cimmorro: mmm… quite rare the last few years but i did enjoy my day offs by fishing, spending time with the children and sleeping of course. i’ve no idea what else to do, otherwise...

Q - do you take long or short baths?

Finn: I liked to take long baths back then. Rokka: long! gotta make sure all this fur is fresh and clean! Han: i used to be in and out of the water real fast but i can enjoy a long bath now sometimes... Cimmorro: i like to take long ones whenever i can! but i often find myself having to take short baths or showers in a rush...

Q - favourite piece of literature?

Psalm: I haven't gotten much reading in recently, but I liked the stories my mum would read to me when I was younger. When I remember the names I'll get back to you. Rokka: the ones that has a picture of something and words that tells me what they are! I like those if that counts Keva: my what Finn: I love folklore and fairy tales... I hope this doesn't make me seem childish. Han: lich-reh.... is that one of those book names for a mushroom?? Cimmorro: does the white book count? feel like that’d be too obvious hehe… i like to read anything i find interesting at the time. arcane, scriptures of other churches, etc. not too big of a fan of fictions though.

Q - ur cute have a nice day ♡

Finn: Rokka someone said youre cute. Rokka: oh..! really? how do you know?!

Q - if you could get away with one crime what would it be

Rokka: the only crime I will commit is this current crime due to being framed!!! Cin: Arson. Psalm: Murder I guess, given our current situation. Cimmorro: ...if i knew i was guilty, i’d turn myself right in.

Q - We Got A Benefit Concert 4 These Male Lesbians In Da Planning Stages How U Gon Contribute

Keva: [geralt "hm"]

Q - where is this fuk house located. I need it for research purposes.

Han: there are several brothels in shorewater, if you want i can give recommendation...

Q - how do you feel about showing skin when it comes to what you wear? are you comfortable with it, or do you prefer not to?

Han: (slaps her bare thigh) you know it baaabyyyyyyy Rokka: i feel more comfortable and less restricted with no shirt.....pants r cool tho! Psalm: Like any average person. Cimmorro: unless it’s incredibly hot out, i 100% avoid exposing any of these scales to any dirts and stains

Q - maybe in a word or two, without giving a lot away, what are you in shorewater for?

Han: i was told to get a fresh start here? whatever that means LOL Keva: repay a debt Rokka: im just s---im just sitting here Psalm: No particular reason. Just ended up here really.

Q - do you ever feel lonely

Finn: ^___^ Rokka: hard to when I'm around these fellas *gestures to everyone* Psalm: No, I don't mind being by myself. Keva: (long silence with no eye contact before answering) sometimes, lately, whatever Cimmorro: fucking homesick is more like it

Q - what's something that makes you feel nostalgic

Han: ... some of my weapons and tools. Keva: i guess, elfonsent or whatever it's called here....big festivals for public holidays Cimmorro: Jasper.

Q - do you like to cook? what would you say is your specialty?

Rokka: does roasting something on a stick count??? Han: same as rokka... i think i always did more of preparation of ingredients than actual cooking. Keva: i don't cook Cimmorro: yeee people seem to enjoy my stuffed grilled fish the most

Q - do you like it here in shorewater, unfortunate events aside?

Han: yeah!!! its been fun! i was not here very long but i made a couple of friends!! Keva: eh, it's definitely true a lot of things happen here Cimmorro: i'm not particularly interested of this place

Q - how would you feel about getting involved in a train murder mystery that may or may not involve werewolves?

Han: WEREWOLVES???????????? HOW DO I INVOLVE MYSELF Keva: hard pass Cimmorro: [grimacing] i’d rather avoid doing anything that doesn’t involve my duties to my faith, if i had the choice.

Q - what incredibly common thing have you never done?

Finn: So, I hear that commoners are very skilled in all sorts of handiwork? How exhilarating. One day, I'd like to fix my chair myself when it breaks down. Or shop for ingredients on a market street myself, imagine the wonders! Keva: read Cimmorro: ...a vacation?

Q - Welcome to Good Burger home of the Good Burger! Can I take your order?

Finn: May I order some Nuggets

Q - do you prefer to be the big spoon or the little spoon?

Psalm: Neither. I don't sleep on my side. Keva: if i had to pick, big Rokka: either one...I'm not picky Finn: I have never been either. Well, perhaps the little spoon after sharing a bed with Rokka? Han: big spoon!!!!! Cimmorro: big

Q - do you like to dance?

Keva: (shrugs) it can be fun with friends Psalm: Yes. Rokka: yeah!! boogie woogie oogie Finn: Very much so! Cimmorro: yeap!!

Q - if you could have any animal or beast as a pet without any harm to you or those around you, what would you have?

Rokka: bunnies are cute hehe Han: i would have a giant dragon or chimera or some thing badass like that Finn: A dragon indeed sounds "badass". But isn't it too big?... Cimmorro: both are huge and sound tedious to upkeep nonetheless. i’m perfectly happy with Jasper.

Q - if you were to change your hairstyle, what would you do?

Han: i wonder what it would be like if i cut all off, but... Keva: cut it short again i guess Psalm: I'd grow it out. Rokka: *looks at his whole body* much to think about Finn: I'd want to cut it short again. But at the moment I'm trying to grow it out. Cimmorro: i once considered growing mine out a bit just to try, but i usually trim my hair during the summer so it never came to be. i feel like it’d be a hassle to do it now and i’ve lost interest.

Q - Hey! What do you guys think of the death penalty?

Keva: i don't Want to think abt the death penalty Rokka: same here Finn: Sir this is a fuckhouse.

Q - have you all ever heard a voice in your head?

Rokka: the one that sounds like me? yeah Psalm: No. Finn: *blinks Yes in morse code*

Q - boobs or butts?

Psalm: Who would ask this...? *He chuckles and doesn't answer.* Rokka: Do.....Do we really have to answer this? *sweating* Finn: There's only one correct choice. Han: this question is foolish. both are great.

Q - if you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Plum: ..................................... Psalm: The ability to go back in time would be useful. Plum: the ability to go back in time would be useful Rokka: stop making me choose one thing i can't choose. Finn: I want to dual wield blades. Cimmorro: teleportation powers perhaps...

Q - if you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30 year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

Psalm: What an odd question... I'd rather keep my mind. I'm curious how a 90-year old me would look. Rokka: This is hard Finn: *laughs in vampire* Han: body Cimmorro: body

Q - tell me about the first crush you remember having

Psalm: No. (offscreen there is a screech of a chair. keva is leaving) Rokka: Ummm...... Finn: (Finn "Hm"s) Did anyone else crush on characters from the books they've read? For me it was a swordsman, in any case. Han: (whispers to the asker) whats a crush?? Cimmorro: [tilting head at han and shaking his head] ...yeah, finn. wee jas.

Q - what’s your favourite thing about someone you admire?

Rokka: she's really tall! and strong! I admire her strengths! she's really nice!!! She's the best. Keva: that everything would be okay if they were around. or it felt like that at least Psalm: He was more friendly than me, and I envied how easily he could make friends when we were younger. Finn: He stands his ground against anyone. Han: they are so easy going and kind hearted, even when i am not to them. Cimmorro: just about everything? especially that they seem to never break under pressure and are completely capable of making decisions with swiftness and grace...

Q - would you like to be famous? in what way?

Psalm: Absolutely not. Keva: no Rokka: I don't think I have the skills to go that far. Finn: I don't aspire much fame but some renown as a swordsman seems worthwhile. Cimmorro: gaining a good enough reputation to be an influencer… i believe it would be important for the church, so i wouldn’t refuse it.

Q - rokka how does it feel to be the funniest person in existence

Rokka: I don't know how it feels because I just found out I am funny...? How?

Q - rokka i have on good authority that cole wants to play rugby with you what’s your response

Rokka: YEAHHHH LETS GOOOOOO maybe then we can become true friends through the bonds of rugby!!!!!

Q - rokka what do you think about shirts

Rokka: They're alright I guess? Don't really see the point of it though

Q - Plum, would you like to shop with me one day? I love your fashion sense. -Finn

Plum: I WOULD LOVE TO. WHEN THIS SHIT IS OVER THEN ALSO THANK YOU

Q - plum are your teeth crooked or did you lose a tooth

Plum: they're crooked

Q - cole what do you think about vinny as a boss

Cole: ooooh incredible ! The fact that i get to work under a wizard of his skills as an apprentice still bowls me over, I've learned so much and i haven't even been here all that long. I know he doesn't seem to like the Accord much but being part of their group is no joke, he musta' had some cool projects back in the day. He doesn't seem to mind when i break things either, he's a real swell guy like that, nothing like my last boss [nervous laughter]

Q - when is the last time you got a manipedi

Rokka: got a what? Cimmorro: i do my own! as often as needed!

Q - what is it like having a tail

Rokka: Idk? ok? but what's it like NOT having a tail though? :thonk: Psalm: ...Normal. This is the norm for me, so I have no clue how to answer this in a way that would be satisfactory to someone that doesn't have one. Like with any part of the body, I don't really think about it unless I remember it's there. I guess the one thing is that I don't like having holes in my clothes, so everything I wear is low waisted. Finn: I wasn't aware everything you wear is low waisted, much less why. Psalm: I always wear a waist sash, but next time I can go without if you're curious. Cimmorro: i used to trip over my own tail a lot when i was a kid. it was rather long for my size at the time hehe

Q - you’re right rokka what is it like Not having a tail

Rokka: You Tell Me Keva: they weren't asking you

Q - rokka how do you maintain your fur

Rokka: Check out my youtube channel please like and subscribe! -> [link to fur answer above]

Q - Keva what is the way to your heart? I'm asking for a friend...

Keva: tell your friend to find smth better to do

Q - finn your hair is so shiny what’s your secret

Finn, visibly confused: There is no secret to my haircare. I simply do what everyone else does, no? Personally I use lye soap and rosewater. Perhaps you ought to try a different oil or mixture from your usual.

Q - finn what do you think about your uncle’s growing fanclub? what does he think abt it?

Finn: His "fanclub"? Well, it is true people take a liking to my uncle rather quickly, but I've yet to see him reciprocate any such affections. If this "club" is anything official I would like to be its president though, to guide others of course. I may find someone who could get along with him, he really ought to settle down one of these days!

Q - finn can you tell us a little bit about your cousins?

Finn: Hmm... from the beginning they have been more outgoing than me, I must admit I am a bit envious of that. But the Vengaboys have brought out a lot in me already, I think.

Q - hey finn how tall are your heels

Finn: 3 inches. But I have taller ones for balls and the like.

Q - orin what would it take for you to share an embarrassing story about keva

Orin: hmmmm id probably wait until she left the room first....

Q - vinny how bad is your eyesight without glasses

Vinny: bad enough that id fall down the stairs in my own store if i lost em’ [anime sweatdrop] its why they have that handy string attached to them now, and well also because the cats like to bat at my face sometimes...

Q - ezra and cole have you ever had to help vinny find his glasses. let me clarify i know he has that thing where his glasses can hang from his neck but have you ever had to help vinny find his glasses bc he lost them anyways

Ezra: never, but he didn't always have the string, he told me he slapped it on because he had that exact problem. Cole: I've only ever seen em' with that string so he’s never really lost em'... though one time he broke them and i had to help him around the store for a week until a friend of his could fix them, its the grumpiest ive ever seen him [ she makes a face like this :y and laughs ]

Q - ezra i'm serious will you please let me buy you a new coat

Ezra: [he looks down confused at his clothes] ....

Q - ezra why won’t you get a new coat

Ezra: ...... do i need a new coat...? *Psalm laughs a little in the bg.*

Q - can you tell us more about your family han?

Han: ha ha hA HA HA HA HA HA HA. no. i want avoid all thought about them.

Q - han which muscle group is your favourite to flex

Han: (sits like the thinker for a long time in contemplative silence) for me, legs and thighs feel most strong. but others like when i flex arms 💪

Q - han you are very cool don’t let anyone tell you otherwise also i love you

Han: i am cool, thank you mystery stranger, also wH--

Q - han do you want to build a snowman

Han: you know, we used to play game where we would roll each other in wheel, down mountain, into snowmen, and who hits most win... fun times. i do want to build snowman again, yes :)

Q - which of you know how to tell direction from the stars

Han: i know ! 😊 (quieter) but only little bit... Cimmorro: ...y’know, someone once tried to teach me how to do this but i’ve fallen asleep while we were talking. [has guilt written all over his face]

Q - han what is your favourite way to wear your hair

Han: ah...my sibling did this complicated braid on me, before... it look very thin, like basket weaving...sad, never learned how they do it (han looks a bit melancholic)

Q - what do you value most in friendship?

Psalm: I should buy a full pitcher of beer at the next tavern, and for every question about friendship we receive just take a long sip from it. Rokka: the bond! loyalty! respect! this is more than one! oh well! Finn: The ability to confide without fearing loss or judgement. Keva: trust Han: oh, i agree with answer from finn.

Q - han, cole, and rokka how did you get so swole

Cole: [she taps her forehead] step one...mental fortitude.... Han: (scoffs) have someone on your ass since you have memory Rokka: (taps his biceps) determination!

Q - May I inquire where you've picked up that rodent from Keva? -Finn

Keva: while traveling

Q - psalm how long have you kept a journal

Psalm: Not very. I just started it. Helps to keep my thoughts organised, and having just reached Shorewater I figured it would be worth chronicling what I got up to.

Q - psalm you wear a lot of black nail polish but do you have any other colors? what are your favourites?

Psalm: I'm not fond of bright colours (for my nails at least), so black is my favourite. I've never really tried out anything else, but maybe I should, just for a change of pace.

Q - do you guys like piercings ?

Keva: do i like having them or do i like when other people have them what are you asking Rokka: (points at keva) what she said Psalm: Yes, I do have them after all.

Q - aaaaalright heres a better question then. would you prefer for your partner to have piercings or not? do you find it attractive?

Psalm: Oh I see. I guess they are attractive aren't they? (lol) Rokka: if they like them then I like them! They can wear whatever they want! I don't really have a preference for it. Finn: As long as it is nothing obscene, I will accept it. It can have its charm, I admit. Keva: i don't really care. i guess? Han: its so cool!! i wanted some myself but aah.. my tribe was very against that thing Cimmorro: yeah and yup.

Q - hey tieflings what’s horn maintenance like for you

Psalm: Not unlike er-, "body maintenance". At least in my case I don't do anything particularly special. Cimmorro: mine are too small to have any need for maintenance. i consider it a lucky thing since it’s less things to worry about.

Q - Psalm, who is your favourite character in GBF? -Finn

Psalm: I like Vania. I have to start playing water now because of her new alt unfortunately but... can't be helped. Finn: Haha, I like that answer. Good luck with your water! Psalm: Oh? I'm glad I passed. And thank you.

Q - would you ever wear matching couple things with your significant other

Finn: As long as it is fashionably, gladly.... That sounds like a very sweet idea, dear reader. Rokka: yeah!! I think it's cute hehe Psalm: That depends on the thing. Keva: ^ Cimmorro: absolutely

Q - hi um this question is for psalm how do you keep your hooves warm in the winter? do you have socks? leg warmers?

Psalm: That's an interesting question. While I'm not that well versed in the specifics of tiefling anatomy, I do know that keeping warm isn't really an issue for me whenever it gets cold, so I don't typically wear anything like socks.

Q - rokka do you have a favourite meat dish?

Rokka: hmm...anything roasted on a stick? But that's a stick not dish...meat buns!

Q - hey psalm han and plum your brows are amazing what salon do you go to

Han: sah lon? i dont know what that but these run in family Psalm: These are how they are naturally. I have better things to do with my own time than fuss about my appearance too much.

Q - what are your thoughts on the institution of marriage

Psalm: My parents are married and seem to like each other enough, so I suppose it's not so bad. Finn: I think it is merely a matter of who you choose to spend your life with, not marriage itself. So, I would like to be wed happily. Han: (whispers to the asker) whats marriage???? Cimmorro: [tilts head and squints a bit at han again rn]

Q - keva, do you think youll ever learn how to read? if yes, what kind of books would you want to read ?

Keva: (gaze falls to the table at the first question but at the second question she looks up and her eyes slightly squint questioningly at you) idk what kinda books there are bc i can’t read Psalm: Would you like some recommendations? I can read them to you if you want. Keva: (is getting visibly pink) Psalm: ....Is that a no?

Q - for every one, what's the way to your heart??

Finn: Hmm... you must be worthy as my rival! (he gives his rapier a test swing) That is for sure. But should you lack a passion for swordsmanship, please do your best to entertain me at a ball, at the very least. Rokka: um...? (Scratches his head nervously) I'm not sure how to answer this haha....just....please love me??? *shy* Psalm: I've never thought about it. I just like who I like. Cimmorro: fuck around and find out!

Q - do you own any porn? what kind

Han: asker, are you sure you dont just want directions to brothel? Rokka: what's a porn and how do you own one? What kinds are there? Psalm: "What's a porn" he says... Don't worry too much about it Rokka. Cimmorro: the only porn you all should be reading is the white book

Q - would you or would you not try roller skates (shoes with wheels on them)?

Finn: Shoes with wheels on them? That sounds most absurd... and yet... I must inform my uncle of this. Where does one acquire such shoes... ? Rokka: (tries to picture this in his head for too long the interviewer moves on) 🤔 Psalm: This sounds like a prime setup for falling on my ass, so no.

Q - hi vengaboys. i’ve been following your adventures since predebut. i’ve been stuck at home bc of a global pandemic and i gotta say it’s really bumming me out. what should i do

Finn: I have plenty experience with staying at home. A lot of people might tell you to hone a skill or indulge in hobbies you have been neglecting and while that can be a productive use of your time, it is easier spoken than done, no? I recommend, if you are allowed, to seek out quiet places without many people around. That way you do not endanger yourself or anyone else in these trying times. Spending time in nature is quite refreshing. Please look forward to our continued performance, dear reader. Psalm: *Is somewhat amazed.* I don't think I can give a better answer than that one. Rokka: wow finn you're so smart

Q - would you ever become a vegetarian if you aren’t already one

Keva: no Rokka: I don't like salad Psalm: Sure. Finn: I would literally die. I know I like to not die, so no.

Q - To psalm and finn, what’s your thoughts on that belial guy?

Psalm: *coughs into his sleeve* Finn: *does the same*

Q - how do you like to celebrate birthdays

Finn: I think throwing a ball can be quite fun, but I think spending it intimately is far more pleasurable. I am not so vain as to demand a ball each time.

Q - do you have people waiting for you wherever you call home? if you can share, who?

Finn: My family. I can't wait to speak to my cousins again and tell them about this job, shall it go well. Psalm: I'm not sure if "waiting" is the word I'd use, but yes. Cimmorro: i can’t imagine any of those people not wanting my presence again

Q - do you like hugs

Finn: ... If they come from the right people, then yes, certainly. Rokka: oh! yes, I like hugging Psalm: What Finn said. I like them about as much as the average person, although I have a friend that mocks me for not being particularly good at giving them, whatever that means. (How can you be bad at hugging...?) Finn: Perhaps your posture is stiff, Psalm? It can make the hug feel rather "cold", so to speak. Psalm: That's what he said... (He looks lost in thought.) Rokka: psalm if you need practice hugging I am here (stands there with open arms) Finn: Consciously think about your movement. Are you actually bending your torso, properly using your arms? Try with Rokka. Keva: (was about to answer but is now biting her lip to keep from laughing at rokka and finn coaching psalm on hugging) Han: (faces away from this spectacle and slaps a hand over her mouth to not break out laughing too) Psalm: There's a lot more that goes into hugging than I initially thought.

Q - do you prefer hot weather or cold?

Keva: hot Han: cold!! honestly its too hot in shorewater... i never thought i would miss snow Rokka: more warm than hot......but if i had to choose between the two then it would be cold Finn: I've been preferring cold weather as of late. Psalm: Hot. Cimmorro: personally i’m more of an in between guy but if i’ve no choice then i’d say cold.

Q - when was the last time you went on a date

Finn: I'd like to go on one in the first place :cryingcat: Rokka: I wanna go on one too!! Finn: ... Looks like we both have something to gain here. I jest of course. Psalm: *racking his brain* Can't remember. Cimmorro: a couple or so years ago.

Q - Hello Vengaboys! We have not had the pleasure of meeting but I am an old friend of Finnian's. He tells me about your travels in his letters and I quite look forward to reading them. Your time in Shorewater sounds like it has been quite the whirlwind! I am writing because I have always known Finnian to be a kind and gentle boy who worries about others often, and I want to be sure he is as okay as he says he is. How is he really? Please treat him well, and please do not tell him I wrote! I imagine he would be quite beside himself with embarrassment if he found out. Sincerely yours, Sagessa P.S. I do hope we get to meet one day! May Pelor protect you until and long after then.

Rokka: Hello sagessa!! Nice to, uh, read you! I didn't know he had a friend! Yes...shorewater has been super crazzzzy. Kind of scary actually...don't come here. (Lol) you're right he is kind and well so far! He's nice to me and I like him! We shared a bed and it was nice. Also, don't worry my lips are sealed! Promise! Sincerely, Rokka. P.s. I hope to meet you soon! (saying this all outloud)

Q - Who taught you all how to fight? Or to hone in on a specific skill?

Psalm: I've been trying to figure that out myself. Rokka: my father Finn: *side eyes psalm* I took an interest in swordsmanship early. I've had an instructor and participated in many tournaments. Your opponents are your most valuable teachers. Han: ...the whole tribe, really. Keva: i learned on my own at first. Cimmorro: good ol’ parents gyahaha

Q - do any of you know how to give good massages

Psalm: I know, but whether or not they're "good" remains to be seen. Cimmorro: we were certainly taught basic massage techniques but i don’t really have the strength for it [laughs wryly]

Q - what are your thoughts and feelings about your country or hometown?

Psalm: I'll save time and just say that they're mostly positive. Finn: My hometown is okay. Could be better. :/ Cimmorro: i like my hometown. i can’t imagine settling down anywhere else at the moment.

Q - do you like bugs

Rokka: yeah, they're neat! Lady bugs were my favourite when I was young. Keva: as long as they're not biting me or trying to get at my food, they're fine Psalm: No, but I'm not scared of them either or anything silly like that. Finn: As a child I was less aversive to them but I must admit I find them most unpleasant and avoid all contact. Cimmorro: yeah!

Q - would you confess to your love interest first

Rokka: idk maybe? I've never been in this situation before do I'm not sure...👉👈 Psalm: It depends. No sense in keeping some things hidden though. Finn: If there is no other way, yes. Cimmorro: sure. beating around the bush feels like a waste of time really.

Q - Do any of you have any second given names?

Finn: Yes, actually. My second name is Oswald. Han: (scoffs) no. threw it out.

Q - does your chain hang low does it bobble to the floor can you tie it in a knot can you tie in a bow can you throw it o’er your shoulder like a smth smth smth does your chain hang low

Finn: Psalm, do you recognize this writing ? Psalm: It...sounds vaguely familiar, but as I'm not from around here I'm not too sure.

Q - have you ever been to or in a wedding party? do you like going to weddings?

Psalm: I've been to my parents' wedding, but aside from that not really. I do like parties. Wedding parties seem like fun. Cimmorro: i ordain weddings... or, well, i used to. the parties are fun, but overseeing the ceremony itself is something i’d rather avoid.

Q - have you ever been somewhere haunted?

Psalm: I would hope not. Cimmorro: once or twice? strangely fun? i’d recommend it :)

Q - have you ever held a baby

Psalm: Probably? What kind of question is this? Han: ..yeah. Cimmorro: yeah! it was practically my job back then haha

Q - what would be an invention you’d really like to see to make life easier

Psalm: Airships were already invented, so I'm out of ideas. Cimmorro: a portable communication device more efficient than a sending stone sounds nice

Q - plum do you miss your sister?

Plum: yeah. who the hell are you

Q - keva what's your favourite hairstyle?

Keva: there’s up and there’s down idk how to do anything else Finn: You don't know how to do anything else? If you are ever interested I'd be happy to assist you in finding something to your liking. And to teach, shall you wish it. Keva: first psalm now you what is going on Psalm: It's an admirable trait for sure :-). Finn: You could simply stand to make more of yourself, Keva. Keva: you're just making fun of me now Finn: Absolutely not. But let's just say you're not going to impress anyone like this. Keva: who is there to-- i'm not Trying to impr-- okay (she is leaving) Finn laughs quietly to himself as she leaves Psalm: Hmm.. if I ever grow my hair out I'll be sure to come to you Finn. Finn: Gladly.

Q - i heard thru the town crier that you all were not in fact the ones who ruined elfonsent spell but how do i know i can trust you

Psalm: We didn't ruin the ball. Just take the kings' word for it I guess

Q - do you like to draw

Finn: I do not recall ever trying my hand at it. I've no time for such things. Plum: sometimes Cimmorro: sure.

Q - would you get a tattoo? what and where would it be?

Rokka: What if 😳 I already 😳 have a tattoo😳 ? 😳 On my back 😳 Plum: *confused thinking about all the fur... did they shave him first and then tattoo him? the fuck would be the point if the fur just grows back??* Han: i only have all this birthmark... and if anything, i would like to get rid of them. Cimmorro: i already have one but maybe i’d get a few more 🤔

Q - when you’re not feelin so hot what do you do to cheer yourself up?

Rokka: roaming or good company is always nice...but it hasn't been that easy to have these days. Keva: find somewhere up high Psalm: Not sure. I have the tendency to avoid problems. Plum: drink, i think? pretty sure i drink Han: go as far into a forest as i can Cimmorro: drink

Q - have any of you had a job before this? i know han worked at the swallow’s perch but what about the rest of you? what was the job if you can share?

Psalm: I'm in my early twenties. I think there'd be something wrong if I didn't have some line of work before this. (He ignores the rest of the question.) Plum: i work for an alchemist over in talornia Rokka: check it (starts juggling) Han: hey im still working there ;-; Cimmorro: temple work. i help oversee almost everything.

Q - do any of you know how to play instruments?

Psalm: I definitely can't. Keva: sort of, not really Cimmorro: nah... though i was interested in learning one

Q - any favourite scary stories?

Psalm: I'm pretty ambivalent about the horror genre. Not my thing. Finn: That's a shame. I would've asked you for a recommendation Psalm.

#QA #QARokka #QAKeva #QAHan #QAFinn #QAPlum #QAPsalm #QAVinny #QAEzra #QACole #QACimmorro #chip creates a whole new series of tags

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i-amusemyself · 7 years

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All 100 Questions.

Bloody hell okay thank you!!! 😄😄😄

1. Is a kiss considered cheating?Yeah, Id say so.

2. Have you ever faked orgasm?Aint never had anyone to fake it with 😂 Ngl tho its the sort of thing id do (which is terrible i know)

3. If you could have one super power, what would it be?Mind reading.

4. Do you think youre gonna be rich in 7-8-9 years?I’d be worried if I didnt have more money than I have now, but idk.

5. Tell us some funny drunk story?Oh jeez erm, I don’t really have any 😂 My friends occasionally remind me of the time at the school christmas ball one of the business teachers turned up and I quickly ran away while aggressively whispering “oh no he knows im a lesbian, aimee told him”.

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex?We work better as friends, its less stressful.

7. If you had to choose one way to die what would it be?See I’m really torn with this question. Part of me thinks itd be nice just to go in my sleep, with a heart attack or something. Its quick and painless you know.But equally I wonder if it would be better to maybe, like, have something where I knew I was gonna die. Because then I’d have time to try and do everything on my bucket list and say goodbye to everyone. Also maybe at that point I’d welcome death lmao.

8. What are your current goals?Idk? Im waiting on A level results which I really hope I’ve done well in.I hope to make lots of new friends at uni and learn how to look after myself quickly I guess. I dont know.

9. Do you like someone?I like a lot of people 😆

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?Im really not sure??? There arent many people I expect anything from and even then my standards are pretty low. So like, I dont really get disappointed by people, only occasionally by situations.

11. Do you like your body?I could hate it a lot more, but I wouldnt say I’m happy with my body or general appearance. I struggle a lot with my features and my weight and the scars I have (which is ridiculous but thats what mental illness is)

12. Can you keep a diet?I mean if I wasnt on the diet im on rn (with lots of restrictions) id probs be in hospital 😂

13. If the whole world was listening to you right now, what would you say?Honestly id pass out under the pressure of it 😂 idk, id tell them all to take a chill pill but no one would listen.

14. Do you work?Nah, i had 3 jobs at once last yeah but now I’ve ended up with none.

15. If you could choose only one food to eat for the rest of your life what would it be?Either garlic bread or chocolate I cant decide!

16. Would you get a tattoo?I’m v much planning on getting one in the near future so yh!!

17. Something you dont mind spending all your money on?Plane tickets.

18. Can you drive?Yeah! I havent driven since I passed my test, but hopefully I havent forgotten how to that quickly!

19. When was the last time someone told you youre beautiful?…I cant remember. Thats depressing (not that I blame them).

20. What was the last thing you cried for?Argh I have no idea why I was crying, my brain just wasnt doing its job so everything made me stressed and sad.

21. Do you keep a journal?I keep a blog for diary posts but besides that nah

22. Is life fun?If you allow it to be, yeah

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant?Tf is that supposed to mean? I guess if you know the person well it is.

24. Whats your dream car?I dont know about Dream Car, id have to research it loads to decide what my absolute fave it. Although rn I’d really love a ‘67 VW beetle bc theyre small and cheap on insurance 😂

25. Are grades in school important?My own grades are super important to me, (to the point its probably unhealthy) but in terms of how the people around me do, it doesnt really matter to me. I mean, I want everyone to do well, but I dont judge people based on it.

26. Describe your crush.She’s funny and all around awesome and interesting and good at deep convos and beautiful and way out of my league.

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?The last one I read called The Bell Jar. It was unlike anything I’ve ever read and made me think about a lot of things. Also I related a lot with the main character.

28. What was your last lie?Eh, probably “im fine”.

29. Dumbest lie you ever told?Idk?? I only keep track of the good lies 😉

30. Is crying in front of people embarrasing?It shouldnt be but yeah, I try my best not to.

31. Something you did and are proud of?Umm, idk im p proud of playing basketball and representing my region/training with england. But i quit that so 👏 dicks out for my regrettable decisions 👏

32. Whats your favourite cocktail?Never had one

33. Something you are good at?Annoying people and being clingy 😂 also maths ig

34. Do you like small kids?It depends on the child, the day of the week, the lunar cycle, my menstrual cycle, how hungry I am…Yh legit sometimes I hate them sometimes I love them.

35. How are you feeling right now?Great omg I just got my best friend to watch mamma mia and now shes high on life next to me.

36. What would you name your daughter/son?🤐 there are a couple of names for girls I like and like 2 boys names? But i dont wanna say bc theyre embarrasing.

37. What do you need to be happy?Good company, good food and possibly music.

38. Is there someone you want to punch in the face right now?Theres always at least 3 people I would love to punch 😂

39. What was the last gift you recieved?My best friend got me a necklace and I almost cried its so beautiful

40. What was the last gift you gave?The gift of my company @only-slightly-dangerous 😉😉😉

41. What was the last concert you went to?I went to to see Amber Run in february

42. Favourite place to shop at?Um, as in shop? A place called blue banana probs (england’s hot topic smh)

43. Who inspires you?Kaitlyn Alexander bc they helped me to understand who I am and how I feel and to be loud and proud about it.And Luke Cutforth bc he’s so open about his mental health and struggles with self harm but hes so happy now.

44. How old were you when you first got drunk?18 lmao

45. How old were you when you first got high?It aint happened yet (and i dont really want it to)

46. How old were you when you first had sex?It aint happened yet smh

47. When was your first kiss?As far as im concerned never

48. Something you want to do until the end this year?What….does this mean….? Idk???

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadnt done?It’s more stuff I wish I had done tbh. I suppose I said things I shouldnt have or got too involved in drama, but you kinda need all that secondary school shit to learn from it

50. Post a selfie.Lmao nah fam

51. Who are you most comfortable around?My best friend by a mile. Privacy who?

52. Name one thing that terrifies you.Abandonment without explanation.

53. What kind of books do you read?Anything non fiction about medicine/being a doctor/disease/psycopaths.Besides that whatever has been recommended.

54. What would you tell your 12 y/o self?1. Youre gay2. You and I both know you arent joking about being “a dude trapped in a girls body” stop laughing it off and confront it.3. Stand up for yourself.4. Chill out.5. Laugh a lot more omg

55. What is your favourite flower?It’s between petunias and roses

56. Any bad habits you have?Not answering peoples messages unless theyre Certain Person A or Certain Person B.

57. What kind of people are you attracted to?Ones that are out of my league and could kick my ass apparently. Also ones that are kind, listen and think a lot I guess

58. What was the last thing you cried for?Already answered

59. Is there something you dont eat? A food that truly disgusts you?I dont eat loads of stuff bc my guts hate me 😂 but besides all that I’m actually the worlds least picky eater. The only thing I dont like is raw tomato. Thats it.

60. Are you in love?I wish

61. Something you find romantic?All the clichés ngl 😂 just anything that says “i love you” or “i was thinking about you” really

62. How long was your longest relationship?Like 4 months? Barely long term.

63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?Oh jeez i hate these theyre so stereotype-y1. Bitching2. Not supporting each other3. ….?

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?1. Not supporting each other2. Massive egos3. Yelling

65. What are you saving money for?Uni so I dont starve to death!

66. How would you describe your bad side?Hmm, idk, it depends what someone did to get on my bad side. I’d say stubborn, bitter and angry tho usually.

67. Are you actually a good person? Why?I could be wrong but I think so long as someone has morally good intentions they are usually a good person, whether they always succeed or not. So yeah, I like to think I am.

68. What are you living for?My friends and the hope I have for my future.

69. Have you ever done anything illegal?Piracy? Thats it.

70. Do you like your money?….did I type this question wrong or??

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?Okay, the honest answer? Yeah. When I was a lot younger and less mature and someone said something that hurt me, I tried to retaliate with equally hurtful comments. I like to think I wouldnt do that now.

72. Ever sent nudes?Lol no

73. Have you ever cheated on someone?Hell no

74. Favourite candy?All candy hates me 😂

75. Is there a blog you visit everyday or almost every day? Tag them.Yeah @oneshappyplace knows I regularly spam her with notes in search or Quality Memes (im so sorry)

76. Do you play any computer games? Whats ur fave?Nah, as if I have time 😂

77. Favourite TV series?Argh I canny choose? I love the IT Crowd, I love supernatural, I love Sherlock, I love in the flesh…

78. Are you religious? Does God exist?I’m not religious and personally I don’t believe there’s a god or higher power but I could be wrong.

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?The Bell Jar. See 27.

80. What do you think about vegetarians and veganism?I respect it I guess? At one point I was p much a vegetarian until I had to restrict my diet sooo. Tho I could never be one now, let alone a vegan.

81. How long have you been on tumblr?Too long 😂😂😂 Like 3 or 4 years?

82. Do you like chinese food?Love it!

83. McDonalds or Subway?(Never been to subway so) McDonalds.

84. Vodka or Whisky?(Never had whisky so) Vodka.

85. Alcohol or Drugs?(Never had drugs so) Alcohol.

86. Ever been out of your country?I’m currently in the USA so yeah 😂

87. Meaning behind your blog name?It’s p self explanatory and also v true

88. What are you scared of?Abandonment, deep water, knives, toys with battery packs.

89. Last time you were insulted?Ugh, probs like when I met up with a load of school friends for our leaver’s ball.

90. Most traumatic experience?I’d rather not answer that lmao (plus itd take a long time to type)

91. Perfect date idea?Chilling and listening to each other’s favourite songs while coexisting and eating fast food 😂 that or ikea ngl

92. Favourite app on your phone?Tumblr. Even though I hate it, it also keeps me sane.

93. What colour are the walls in your room?White and blue.

94. Do you watch youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?I love so many youtubers omg. Lukeisnotsexy, mileschronicles, realisticallysaying and filthy frank are faves

95. Share your favourite quote.Pick your fights.

96. What is the meaning of life?To live life to the fullest so youre happy and have minimal regrets. Also to be kind and helpful so even if you dont change the world you might help someone else to.

97. Do you like horror movies?I think….? But I’m not good at watching them alone 😂

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?Eh…again, would rather not answer (we got some nice supressed memories here)

99. Do you feel lucky or special in any way?I’m still totally in awe of how lucky I am to have met my best friend from 3000 miles away. Like, the probability of it was so so slim and yet here we are.

100. Can you keep a secret?I think so yh! It’s something that I consider super important.

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