You know...I'm nothing if not consistent, lmao. Blonde, autistic, and slightly pathetic (affectionate).

But for real like, am I insane?? Do you see??? Traumatized child soldiers with extremely niche special interests. Both find family and belonging through incredible strife. (Both get possessed kinda???? LOL) death and resurrection are intimately tied to their characters in different ways.

Genuine question: Why do you ship Radiobelle? I've seen a lot of people doing it, and I'm curious as to what the appeal is!

The real question is, why do people ship anything? Why do we all see two or sometimes more characters interact with each other and imagine how cool it would be if they both had deep-seated romantic feelings for the other?

Answer: cuz we can!😌

Idk about the rest of you, but I don’t exactly have much control over what I ship and don’t ship😅 I just see the characters together and my brain randomly decides either “yes I want them to make out” or “nooo I don’t really see it”. (I am in no way a pro shipper though cuz no)

But as for Radiobelle specifically, there’s just something about them that my silly fangirl heart can’t resist. While I am fairly new to the HH fandom, I did watch the pilot around the time it came out and a small part of me did ship them back then. But I never really allowed myself to indulge in it and I just wasn’t that into the show anyway so I didn’t bother. Now, after actually watching the episodes and engaging in fandom content, I finally embraced the cringe to the full extent and let myself be consumed by the radio demon and his charming demon belle! :P

Now I’m aware that the majority of people don’t like Radiobelle, or even full-on hate it for multiple reasons. Sure, whatever. You don’t have to like every ship, nor does anyone expect you to! I can understand it’s not for everybody. The main thing that bugs me, though, is when people try to start arguments about why it’ll never be canon and why you shouldn’t ship it. “Charlie is with Vaggie and Alastor is aro/ace!” People ship Alastor with a multitude of other characters and nobody bats an eye,, why is it only when you see him being drawn with Charlie that you lose your shit and get offended about his sexuality being ‘erased’? (That’s a topic for a whole other post tbh). And people can ship Charlie with other people. Hell, they DO! I’ve seen numerous art of her and other characters.

Then there’s also the “Alastor thinks of her as his daughter!” See, I want everybody to actually watch episode 5 again and come back to me on this. No, he fucking does not. The only reason he was saying any of that was to get under Lucifer’s skin. That’s it. That was his whole intention. He doesn’t like Lucifer and wanted to rub it in his face that he has been a lousy father to his daughter, in comparison to all the ways he has helped her, with the hotel and whatever else.

Phew, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way! Onto why Radiobelle has stolen my heart!

I just love their dynamic and it all really started with the pilot. Alastor—this mysterious force of nature who can kill anyone and anything, is capable of unimaginable power and torture—randomly showing up on the doorstep of a hotel to help out. And literally no one else trusts him (reasonably so) but Charlie, the good-hearted soul she is, lets him in. She’s cautious, of course, but she’s giving him the chance to do some good because that’s what her dream is all about!

Now while I do wish they had some more interactions in the actual show, what we have so far is scrumptious✨ Alastor may have been giving an abundance of praise to Charlie to piss off her dad, but I don’t think he was lying. Deep down I’m sure he is enjoying the time they’ve spent together—even if he doesn’t fully realize it. Charlie defends Al’s sadistic behavior to her dad because he was doing it to defend the hotel (and bc he’s a cocky mf lol but it’s endearing to her in a way).

Oh and don’t even get me STARTED on episode 7 bro,, omfg the content!! The way he’s extra touchy with her even after they’ve made their deal. Her being nervous and stressed out but he encourages her anyway and verbally admits that he had faith in her the whole time. Him giving her his microphone—which is likely the main source of his power as shown in episode 8 (where he let her use his mic AGAIN!!!) which just shows how much he actually trusts her,, UGH it’s just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻 give me more!!

Now, do I expect Radiobelle to become canon? No. Would it be fucking awesome if it did? Oh absolutely. But I know it won’t, and I don’t care! I’m having the time of my life shipping these two hell-dwelling idiots and I don’t care what anyone says about it!😋

Hi! So I was going through your snape tag (btw sorry for the million notifications you probably got), and I noticed you weren’t very much a fan way back on the early days of your blog. Feel free to completely ignore this if you don’t feel like answering (it is truly none of my business), but I’m always fond of hearing people’s “how I came to like this character” or “why I changed my mind about this character” stories and I was wondering what yours was :)

Hiii! Thanks for the ask! (No worries on the notification spam lol) and I appreciate that you reached out!

Yes! I think he was one of the characters I had the most difficulty empathizing with because I had such a strong, emotional reaction to him. Especially after OotP forward. He's divisive! (Also looking back through my Snape tag has me internally cringing a bit with how little grace I extended to the poor guy...ah well. With age/maturity comes wisdom...? D: )

I'm ngl, after reviewing some of the earlier posts, my immediate reaction is to delete them as my opinions have definitely changed, but maybe it's good to leave it as a record of my evolving mindset towards the character? lol

Ok, so what changed?

Well, it certainly helps I'm now closer to adult Snape's age from Book 1 than Harry's age when I was first reading the HP series as it was being published. I didn't give much thought to Snape beyond he was a mean teacher and a bully, for the first four books at least.

I got into the HP fandom around when GoF had been released so I was discovering plenty of fanfic and fan meta. Snape was one of the more ... well ... fans reactions to him that liked him or even wrote him sexually with the cast confused middle-school me, to be honest. I was more interested in the child characters than the adults, so I was vaguely aware of how he was portrayed in fandom but didn't really engage.

This changed after OotP was released, and we finally got some explicit Severus Snape backstory and history with the Occlumency lessons. I had a really an emotional reaction to SWM and some of the memories we got a glimpse of. I was empathetic and not completely surprised to learn Snape was from an abusive home, that he had possible trauma and issues that explained his actions and why he was so cold and angry. Like Harry, I was really disappointed in how his father and Sirius treated Snape. There's just no excuse for how they sought him out to pick on him for fun. I was on Harry's side with confronting Sirius and Lupin about how his dad and they acted.

Also, I read everything with shipper eyes, and immediately felt there was more to Severus and Lily's relationship beyond her just coming over and reacting to James actions lol. They called Jily a crack!ship but it looks like they were validated in the end lol.

However what really made me emotionally react with anger was that we are basically being shown that Severus knows what it's like to be a scared child being abused and tormented by authority figures and other children, but he does it to his students?? I could not understand his actions at a time but I would get genuinely angry when I did think about it. To child me, this felt like a betrayal, both for a fictional character and when actual people did this. Looking back I was reacting so strongly due to my own personal experience with trauma in the home and with authority figures abusing children.

I recall not caring much about him in HBP or DH. I was much more upset with Sirius' death than Dumbledore's, so Snape's "betrayal" was just not something I recall reacting emotionally to. In DH, I definitely remember reading his memories and just feeling irritated with him. To me, he was a guy with trauma and emotional issues, sure, but I felt his behavior towards Harry, Hermione, and Neville was not excused for me. At most I felt begrudging respect for him and acknowledged he was not a completely terrible person. Harry naming one of his son's after him felt so bizarre, and I just could not understand why Harry wanted to honor him. Forgive him, sure I could understand Harry doing that, but naming his child after Snape just left me feeling confused. I could not understand how Snape could have loved Lily so much, but treated her son like he did.

I know I'm basically rambling, but it really has been a journey. :P

When I grew out of HP and the fandom after DH was published, I never gave much thought to him or his circumstances until I (unexpectedly) returned to the HP fandom last summer. I reread all of the books as an adult and I had the life experience and maturity to understand that:

A) Snape was funny! A lot funnier than I remember.

B) His actions throughout the book were too subtle for teenage me, but they made me really question my previous feelings for the character.

C) Everyone Dumbledore was kind of terrible to him!

I read a lot of really well written meta on the characters and HP. Specifically I think it was @pet-genius posts on reddit I found that really helped me put my thoughts and feelings regarding HP, primarily Harry, in order. And I can't help but compare and contrast Harry and Severus as characters and how they each approach their trauma and grief.

@ashesandhackles metas on Snape was also really helpful in highlighting the examples in the text that showed how Snape's actions sometimes directly contradict with what he said, especially to Harry. He's always presenting himself as this cold and controlled person, disparaging emotional reactions and connections. Yet he's one of the most emotionally reactive characters in the series next to Harry!

I was able to see clearer a lot of things I liked about him. That he's an incredibly skilled and hardworking person. That he cares very deeply for people he does allow himself to have feelings for and connections to. That he was scared, so scared, probably all the time after Voldemort's return to power, but he never wavered in his determination to continue to show up and fulfill his duty. Him making the Vow with Narcissa to try to protect Draco. The incredible pain he must have been in when he used the Killing Curse on Dumbledore, the one person left that knew everything about him and still valued him. That he dies keeping silent about the Elder Wand ownership, protecting Draco from becoming Voldemort's next target.

I also viewed his relationship with Lily as so much more complex than unrequited love. There's a meta out there (I will edit this post and link it if I find it again) that argues Snape wasn't really in love with Lily, and that "Always" quote is so much deeper than a romantic, or sexual, type of feelings for her. I think it argues that Snape elevated Lily to a symbol of Good, or at least used her memory to guide him on morality. I felt so much more respect for the guy that he had dedicated his life as penance, basically, for betraying his once-best friend once more.

This is getting long, I hope this wasn't too much. I have changed my feelings on how Severus treated Harry and the other kids close to him in that year's class. Looking at how he acts to others and comparing to how he acts with Harry, I now now I feel Harry was a very specific trigger for Severus and he showed Harry and Harry's potions class a side of him that he generally did not show to anyone else. This is just my personal interpretation based on how other adults, from Dumbledore to even Lupin, and kids speak of Snape as a professor and seem to think Harry is just exaggerating that Snape hates him. When, no, Snape really is projecting his hate and rage and grief about James and Lily onto Harry and he does actually hate the kid. Which, it's probably easier for Severus to think he hates Harry rather than hates himself.

I could keep going but I will stop here for now. I hope that answers the question? But feel free to chat more :) I hope you don't mind I responded with a blog post, I can take it down if you would rather it be answered privately lol.

I suppose the tl;dr version is that Snape makes me angry because he makes me feel things about myself that I don't like, but with age and reading other people's thoughts on the character has definitely made me come around to they guy!

I feel like this is likely a bat to a hornet's nest topic but I deeply respect your takes and thoughts overall a lot so here goes: I really appreciate that the show frankly goes out of its way to not pathologize its characters and lets the audience sit with them in the context of their own lives. So I'm kind of baffled that so much focus is given to "diagnosing" them in fan discussions, the vast brunt of which Kendall gets. I don't understand how you can watch this show and understand him as someone who's been heavily abused and had his reactions to being abused weaponized against him and come away being like "wow it's so cringe he acts like that, he must have a brain disease and is just too stupid to understand that. every action he takes is because he is manic/depressed/letting the disease manifest. if only he took the good moral Legal drugs that I do instead of the ontologically bad ones that are Illegal and for dirty addicts. hopefully one day he will Get Help and Receive Treatment so he will be more palatable (no whatever he's done up to this point doesn't count because it didn't work which must inherently be due to his own moral failings)." How did a show like this attract so many Reganites??

bat at a hornets' nest yes. yeah i've said before that i dislike diagnosing fictional characters as a general rule. it's tautological ("they do [x] because they have [y], and they have [y] because they do [x]") and abrogates further analysis of their motives or the meanings of their actions. and it's doubly irksome to me with succession, because unlike a lot of tv, i genuinely don't think that it's written within the weltanschauung of dsm neurobio determinism. ie, it's not a show where the answer to "why did he do that?" is ever supposed to be "his brain is just like that"—these actions are supposed to mean something about what the character wants and needs, and the effect of the capitalist milieu on those things. it's psychological, not psychiatric (& of course, psychoanalytic approaches are common in formal literary studies, whereas blunt psychiatric diagnosis is decidedly less so).

with kendall's drug use there are some particularly irritating ways this all plays out. i've been fiddling with my own reading emphasising the context of logan's demands on kendall and the construction of bourgeois masculinity, and have tried to place kendall's drug use as a response to neoliberal control mechanisms à la deleuze or foucault. i could certainly be challenged on elements of this reading, but what i see on this website is generally just an endless slog of very biomedicalised reads that seem to have no awareness of the particular historical and social baggage present in that model. i do agree there's an element of reactionary DARE-esque moralising going on here (stg if i have to read one more post written by someone who, like, has never so much as met a coke user and thinks all drugs instantaneously give you irreversible morally weighted heart damage, lmao), but it's honestly not just that.

i think most of the time when people do this they're not trying to be reactionary or regressive, and often they not only don't believe themselves to be moralising affective distress, but actually think the dsm diagnosis is the way to avoid that type of moralisation. this is essentially the "it's a discrete disease entity, so they have no control over it and can't help it, so it's not their fault" argument. in practice this fails on many levels. for one thing, it often implicitly assumes that 'ending the stigma' requires any kind of mental disability or affective distress to be treated analogously to physical disability or illness, as though those latter are not also consistently stigmatised and moralised—because ableism is actually more complex than that and has to do with the fact that capitalism values people on the basis of the 'use' it can make of them and their bodies, etc etc. it is also, again, a wildly decontextualised understanding of affective distress, the reasons why people use drugs—including in a manner that feels compulsive and out of control—and so forth.

i'll add also that wrt succession, i actually do see a LOT of pathologisation thrown at roman as well, and more than an incidental amount directed at connor, tom, shiv, and logan. which is to say, i don't think this is solely about people's discomfort with addicts. there's a broad tendency among fans, echoing the even broader social tendency, to see medical diagnosis as personally liberatory, and medicine and psychiatry as passing 'objective' judgments that are necessary in order for a person to 'get better.' this is essentially positivism and is very much a status that the medical profession has fought to obtain (in france you can trace certain 18th-century discourses on national decline, aristocratic luxury, and the corrupting influence of the city -> the birth of clinical medicine after the first revolution -> social hygiene and the pathologisation of the parisian urban poor -> the third republic's 'physician-legislators' and the general class status and professionalisation of medicine; i know less about the gory details of the american and british cases simply by dint of what i do professionally).

we tend to forget these histories when talking about science; it presents itself as a set of timeless, incontrovertible truths that are simply waiting to be uncovered, and we have entire industries of science communication and journalism that propagate this view. which is to say, circling back to succession, i don't believe that most people diagnosing and pathologising these characters are trying to be reactionary or are aware that there are reactionary and moralising elements inherently built into these discourses. i think they're largely people who have not been given the tools to see alternatives, like the perspectives dominant in the history and sociology of science, which are very much kept paywalled and inaccessible on purpose because this is profitable for the academe.

this type of popular literary analysis is simply not going to go anywhere as long as this is still the status and the moral resonance of medicine (and psychiatry by extension because it gained its professional independence without sacrificing the appeal to medico-scientific epistemological authority). i don't think succession viewers are any more or less prone to this type of thinking than the general population they exist amongst. i firmly disagree with this attitude, obviously, and like i said, i don't actually think succession is written 'psychiatrically,' which cannot be said for all tv lol. but i more or less expect to encounter this type of deference to medico-psychiatric judgments in 95% of social interactions and contexts, again because of a combination of institutional control of information, other forms of inaccessibility, and physicians' and psychiatrists' advocacy for their own class and professional interests, both historically and ongoing today.

My original idea for this fell through bc I burnt myself out on art today but I can hopefully still make something of what I managed to scribble out. Also I'm just way too used to my older versions to make an angst post about a 10yo and 11yo's relationship instead I'm sorry y'all 😭 I'll untag this if it's a problem

This is cringe but you will forgive me bc I made it at 4am/lh

Maxneil week October 9th: insecurities

Basically Neil being incredibly aware he has issues being clingy and attached to Max who instead builds emotional walls and makes Neil feel like the importance of their friendship(situationship? In this AU?) Isn't as equally important to him, nor Neil as a person. Neil being aware and deeply insecure about himself and how Max views him, that he's just this sidekick, this yes-man. That maybe Max doesn't even know him as well as he knows Max, and doesn't care to; That maybe their relationship will only ever be about what Max needs.

I wanted to draw more for this, and Max's part was going to be an ending card with lyrics from a different song with "Oh what am I supposed to do without you? I'm Mr. Loverman, and I miss my lover, man" While being incredibly upset only in the comfort of privacy over a photo bc he's too insecure to be vulnerable & let a soul see him this emotional

There is one thing i'm really wondering about.

When did Rayla fall in love with Callum? I mean i get the why, and i ship it "yay" but she was so good at hiding her emotions i can't really pinpoint when she tipped over from "Callum is a friend." to "I can't lose him."

You can pinpoint when she turned from weird ally to friend. It was when Callum asked her to go to the Banther Lodge, his "heartfelt speech" was relatable to her.

We know she was already aware of her own feelings regarding Callum by the time he did dark magic.

We also know she was already very protective of Callum by the time Villads had to stop the Ruthless because of the storm. "If you die out there, i swear i'll kill you."

Before that they were flying on Phoe-Phoe, and before that they were staying with Lujanne where the only thing remotely suggesting any of her feelings was that she was disgusted by Claudia's clear approach to Callum. Which i hardly accept as Soren was also disgusted eventhough he showed support for Callum's approach to Claudia before. And also because... as an aroace i did find it cringe too. Somehow Claudia's romantic relationships end up being cringe.

I'm sorry, idk how to say it nicely but she doesn't seem to do well in romantic relationships. She is very Azula-esque in many ways(i mean... duh) They are both very close family oriented characters, both are essencially victims of their broken family, both are incredibly talented and powerful despite being hella childish because parents forgot to raise them, oops. And being raised so fked up they seem to be unable to form actually functioning romantic relationships.

Even with Terry, i felt like Terry loves her and Claudia is just happy to have a mostly yes-man by her.

But this is a Rayla post, sidenote over.

On Callum's part i'm fairly sure by the time he used dark magic he returned Rayla's feelings, as unaware of it as he was. I mean dude pretty much decided on a whim to throw his principles out the window for Rayla's sake(and ended up corrupting his own soul in the process but he didn't know that)

You'd think that he didn't love Rayla when they were still with Lujanne because he still had a crush on Claudia, but that's not entirely correct.

In the novelization of season 2, when he hangs out with Claudia he is acutely aware of Rayla's whereabouts and opinions and doesn't want Rayla to see him with her even in pretty normal circumstances. The guy just... didn't think it's weird to be hyper aware of someone who he apparently has no feelings for.

So... what's my guess on when Rayla started feeling more than friendship towards Callum?

Hmmm.

Probably when they made up on the frozen lake where they dropped Zym's egg.

And Callum eeeehhh probably earlier he just didn't know? I mean in chapter 14 "the sad prince" he was completely unaware he drew Rayla and he quickly hid it from her when she returned, eventhough Callum is not shy of his drawings.

Siiigh... book 3's novelization is still months away, i wonder what insight that's gonna give.

i have never

See the full 14 Days Collection here! See my full list of works here!

Summary: When you reveal to your co-stars that you've never had a positive experience kissing anyone, let alone a good experience doing more than kissing, Tom visits you in your hotel room to rectify that situation.

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: steamy moments (this is 1 of the 2 non-smut stories from this collection); language; mention of bleeding

Things to be aware of: coworkers to lovers; reader isn't inexperienced but she's had horrendous experience

"Okay I might need help with this, I gotta be honest."

You showed the page that you placed a little pink post-it flag on to your female co-stars, Scarlett and Lizzie, the flag pointing to the part of the script that showed your character had to kiss Loki and a look of 'contentment and relief' had to be visible on your face.

"Wait why? You've had kissing scenes before," Lizzie prodded, looking at the surrounding dialogue of the kiss.

"Yeah, I know, but those kisses were meant to be awkward and I had to be visibly uncomfortable, which is great because that's all I know how to be when a guy kisses me." You grimaced as memories of sloppy, teeth-knocking, way too rough kisses gone wrong began to flash through your mind like a train wreck slideshow.

"Oh sweetie…if you're worried that it's gonna be bad because Tom's going to make it uncomfortable, you got nothing to worry about," Scarlett commented with a chuckle. "Man's never had a bad kiss scene in his life. Ask Lizzie."

"Mmhmm. Yup. Can confirm," the redhead said with a playful grin on her face.

"Well that's all well and good but I'm not worried about him giving me a bad kiss. I'm worried that I will." You slumped your shoulders as they gave you doubtful looks. "Alright then let me put it this way. All the kisses I've had off camera are…fucking awful. On camera I can look past because it's supposed to be awkward and dorky and maybe even so cringe I wouldn't wanna watch it even if you paid me. But the guys I've kissed in private? Let's just say that the least traumatizing kiss I've had ended with my lip bleeding because the fucker bit me too hard."

"Babes, that's absolutely awful!" Lizzie looked at you with her jaw to the floor. "Are you telling us that every guy you've slept with is—"

"Fucking awful? Yep. They didn't have any redeeming qualities. And before you even ask, yes, that means that I have fucking faked it. For years. No one's ever got me to the promised land." You slumped in your chair from the admission. "So that's why I need help. I haven't the first idea how to even look like I'm content because every experience I've ever had is…subpar."

The two promised to help you until you three were called to set, imparting knowledge about imagining a wave of calm overtaking you coupled with the contradicting feeling of a wild fluttering in your stomach. Actions-wise, to pull him closer, as if you couldn't possibly be close enough, clinging to him as if your life depended on it. And the desperation that implied this was a last kiss, because ultimately it would be for your characters, considering the tragic death the Russo brothers had in mind for Loki.

It'd also be the first and last kiss you'd have with the man you'd had a raging crush on since years before you were even a blip on Marvel's radar, so you took all their advice to heart just to make sure that at the very least you didn't leave a horrible impression with him once this scene was over.

After all, you still had all of promo period to get through and considering that the Marketing team had already found your old socials from high school and had concrete evidence that you absolutely had a phase where you shamelessly fangirled over Tom Hiddleston, they would most likely test your sanity and pair you off with him for some, if not most, of the press junkets.

That was the whole reason you were currently in one of the dining tents, your head slumped down on a table as you watched a whole bunch of kissing scenes on YouTube while you furiously jotted down notes on the back of your script. Your scenes were finished for the day, and all you had to do was wait for someone in the costume department to assist you out of your costume. You retrieved your phone from security, meaning you were no longer allowed on any of the filming sets considering how careful all the execs were about spoilers getting out.

"Elizabeth told me I'd likely find you here." You jumped in your seat at the dulcet tone of Tom's voice filling the former quiet of the tent, quickly straightening your posture and turning your phone off, putting the face down on top of your notes. "Apologies. I didn't mean to startle you."

"No, no, it's all good, really," you chuckled out, the nerves beginning to peek through in your shaky tone. It was borderline impossible keeping your composure around him considering that he'd been in a tight-fitting black muscle tee, the rest of him clad in his character's leather pants and boots, putting on egregious display what exactly Marvel had to edit out during post production of the first Thor movie. "What's up?" you squeaked out.

"Truly, nothing. I just wanted to tell you I look forward to filming with you tomorrow." He placed a hand on your shoulder, bared by the rather revealing nature of your Enchantress costume, his thumb gently stroking your skin. "I'll see you tomorrow, darling. I'll see if I can get someone to assist you with your costume."

Your heart caught in your throat as you watched his eyes give you a once over, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, before leaving the tent.

Here lies Y/N Y/L/N. Cause of death? Sanity and ability to breathe were stolen by Thomas William Hiddleston.

Knock Knock Knock

You looked up from your position on the couch, your neck and back straining from being hunched over and taking notes as you watched compilation after compilation of the "best tv and movie kisses" on YouTube. Every bit of preparation you could do for tomorrow's scene short of trolling through Tinder or Raya, you would willingly do.

After all, if you looked stupid in your hotel room practicing how to kiss on your hand but no one else was around to see it, did you actually look stupid?

Yes. The answer was yes.

"I didn't order room service!" you called out in the direction of the door and sending the mistaken server on his way, turning back to face the TV and somehow transpose in your mind that the actors in the scene were you and Tom, trying to plan out how to move your body the way theirs moved, to not lean in too much so that your teeth didn't knock together, and to not even think about any lip biting considering your own dreadful history--

Knock Knock Knock

You groaned at the insistent mistaken case of room service and turned off the TV, flipping your notes over so that in case they were of the nosy variety nothing could leak. The last thing you needed throughout production was Holland and Ruffalo greeting you tomorrow morning with open arms and goofy grins saying "One of us! One of us!"

"I'm sure you're mistaken, buddy, I didn't order any--"

You opened the door and realized it wasn't room service on the other side. It was Tom, looking at you with a soft amusement in his eyes, the mortification spreading through your system at the knowledge that he was seeing you clad in a loose cotton ruffle sleepwear dress that went down the length of your arms and fell to your knees.

The farthest cry from the allure of Amora. And yet the best possible representation of yourself in real life.

"O-Oh uhh…hi," you stammered, constantly shifting your posture in your attempt to seem casual. "What's up?"

You felt even more chagrined when those eyes that haunted your every dream since you were a teenager that was every bit the awkward dork that you were at this moment once again gave you a once over. Only this time the smirk graduated to him biting his lip. What is his deal? Is he really just trying to make me spontaneously combust? Burn off the final shred of sanity that I'm holding on to? Did he choose me as his use case for a scientific study to prove that death by swooning was most definitively a thing?

"Y/N I heard you earlier today with Scarlett and Elizabeth." Someone call the cemetery and have them erect my tombstone. "I didn't intend to, but I'd been walking by the area and--"

"Ohh fuck," you groaned, pressing your hands to your eyes and spinning in your spot trying calm your racing mind. "Look I'm really sorry maybe we could talk to Anthony and Joe and we could have them write the scene out comp--"

Your words caught in your throat in a hitched squeak as you felt his hands wrap around yours, pulling them away from your face. "Look at me, please." You opened your eyes and became stunned silent when you saw a tenderness in his as he framed your face in his hands. "I'm not here to ask you to talk to anyone about getting the scene written out."

"Then why--"

He silenced you by pressing his lips to yours, all the words beginning to melt away. What little knowledge you'd gotten seemed trivial now, as he coaxed you to kiss him back, as the world around you seemed to fade and a strange quiet washed over you. As you felt your entire body come alive with every tender brush of his lips against yours.

So this was what they meant.

He pulled away from you, one arm wrapped securely around your waist to keep you close, and the other hand gently cradling the back of your head. "I came here because you are a woman who deserves to be kissed breathless. Often. By someone who knows how." He gave you a soft smile before slanting his mouth over yours, tongue gently brushing along the parting of your lips as if asking for entrance.

It was as if your whole body weakened once you parted your lips and felt his tongue gently flicking against yours. His arm tightened around you as he lifted you up seemingly effortlessly and pinned you to the wall, his lips never once leaving yours.

When Tom broke the kiss you were both gasping for breath, the air once again leaving your body the moment his lips latched on to your neck, his hands roaming down your body until they hooked around the backs of your knees to wrap your legs around him. You had to clap a hand over your mouth to muffle the resounding moan that escaped you the second his hips rolled into yours.

"No, darling," he groaned against your skin, one hand reaching up to wrap around yours and pry it away from your mouth. "I want to hear you." He moved away from your neck and brought his face inches from yours. "I also heard one more thing. A downright sacrilegious thing. About how you've had to fake your pleasure with everyone you've laid with."

He placed your hand on his shoulder, which you quickly hooked around his neck to hold yourself up as he lifted you away from the wall and walked further into the hotel room, making your mind spin with what he intended to do next. "So you heard that, too, huh?" was all you could say as you did your best to remember how to breathe.

"I did. And I wish to change that, too. If you'll let me."

You could only nod before his lips were back on yours again as he laid you down onto the bed.

A/N: I had to fade to black some of these stories if I wanted to meet deadlines, okay? 🤣

'everything' taglist: @lokisgoodgirl @lokischambermaid @imalovernotahater @mygfloki @lucylaufeyson3 @thomase1 @fictive-sl0th @mochie85 @laliceee @xorpsbane @gigglingtigger @silverfire475 @cabingrlandrandomcrap @vickie5446 @salempoe @lokixryss @sinsandguilt @lokidbadguy @alexakeyloveloki @glitterylokislut @cakesandtom @girl-of-multi-fandoms @mischief2sarawr @thedistractedagglomeration @five-miles-over @goblingirlsarah @huntress-artemiss @lilibet261 @holymultiplefandomsbatman @lovingchoices14 @devilsadvocactus @lokiprompts @sititran @ladyjames78 @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley @kats72 @creationsbyme @coldnique @athalialaufeyson @simplyholl @tallseaweed @sarahscribbles @unlucky-number-13 @ozymdias @maple-seed @ladyofthestayingpower @wolfsmom1 @km-ffluv @psychospore @loopsisloops @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @lovelysizzlingbluebird

No but full stop. if you say anything like "Gen Alpha is being raised wrong/horrible to have in class/morally fucked-up/idiotic/doomed/just really really cringe" I will unironically lose all respect for you immediately.

all this stuff about "they're illiterate", "they have no respect for parents or teachers" "screens have rotted their brains" "they just speak in weird Skibidi Toilet Gyatt Rizz Meme Language" "the screens have made them have no behavior standards or morals" "the ScReEeEeEeEnsssss"

...you sound literally exactly like our parents' generation did with us. and elder millenials'/Gen X/even really late boomer's parents' generations did with them about video games and cable tv and...regular tv

and radio

and records

and. dime novels.

and it literally just goes back like that forever

OVID talked abt this stuff in the EXACT same way

so yeah, if you say that stuff without a shred of self-awareness, then I

1) do not think you can keep your commitment to "not fuck up future generations like we were fucked up", since you're contributing to that fucking-up right now by your words and actions.

2) will assume that you have a similar shortsightedness in other issues that require you to compare your own/modern-day views and events to historical ones, and lose faith in your interpretation of everything from aesthetics and online drama to world-altering current events because of that

3) genuinely I just have nothing but disappointment in people who say these things. anyone on this site who hates "icky gen alpha things" almost definitely did the same thing themselves.

They have "Gyatt", we* had GLOMPING, Yaoi Paddles, shitty mspa twerking gifs everywhere, and "Oh My God, Look At Her Butt"

They have "Rizz" we had "YOLO SWAG" and "I made you a cookie but I eated it" and those selfies where you held your camera up too high and then looked up at it from under your bangs

They have "Skibidi Toilet" we had SO MANY THINGS. Llamas with Hats. Charlie the Unicorn. Annoying Orange. Crazy Frog. Potter Puppet Pals. Minecraft Parodies if you're younger gen z. friCKING TOBUSCUS MUSIC, that man was a PLAGUE.

They have a toxic social media culture focused on heavily edited and unachievable beauty standards, enforced popularity culture, rigid aesthetic-based social groups, harmful rumors about health & beauty, a pressure on young girls to act mature, and underlying racism/classism, all leading kids who dont have adequate guidance to, AT BEST, try beauty "products" that arent meant for kids and are usually scams. We had... literally the exact same thing except our airbrushing was on celebs and models instead of coming from filters.

*I am older Gen Z (24 y.o.) but was so fucking sheltered until ~2014, and even then... I'm going off tumblr-history blogs, yt retrospectives and "my friend said so" to understand what "we" had

TLDR STOP BULLYING GEN ALPHA

...except about "Starpatch" or "Starface" or whatever it is. yes, ik its also popular/more popular with younger gen z. yes I'm literally making a post rn to bully(lh) yall JUST as hard about it. if it were my exact age group doing this I would be bullying yall. i dont care who does it, starpatch is so fricking silly.

More style parenting headcannons pls!! And your hcs of their kids’ personalities

OH MY GOD YES OF COURSE!!!!! (I love sharing my hcs so I'm always open to ask about that stuff)

So according to some random reddit post I saw, matt stone says the kids' names are Mordecai and Celine. I love this because I hc that Stan uses nicknames for the kids, and Mordecai frequently gets shortened to "kai." this leads to endless hilarious misunderstandings when both Kyle and Mordecai are in the same room with Stan.

Stan: "Hey Ky, are we out of coffee grounds again? I need to know whether to pick some up at the store today."

Mordecai: "Pa I don't drink coffee."

Stan: "Other ky, kiddo."

Mordecai: "THERE'S ANOTHER ONE?!?!?!" (words of a child that thinks their dad's name is dad)

In terms of the kid's personalities, I think Celine has adopted Stan's big heart, but Kyle's tendency to be an angry little shit. She causes havoc. She is the definition of "terrible twos," only she's five. She bites, kicks, and is the one kid who will bark and chase you at recess if you want to spice up that game of tag.

Mordecai on the other hand is a little more level-headed. He got Kyle's analytical and moral nature, but is drawn to the arts like Stan. Despite him being the older and more mature of the two, that doesn't stop him from also getting into some shit he shouldn't. He's curious by nature, so he often gets into things he can't get out of. He's ten, so he and Celine have the same age difference as Kyle and Ike. This leads to many instances of Celine being kicked like a little angry football. Ike can sympathize, so when he comes to visit from Canada on holidays, he shoots Celine little winks and gives her hard candies when she bites her brother.

Stan hates discipline, so that usually falls into Kyle's hands. He tries way too hard to be a good parent because he doesn't want to end up like Randy, even though he doesn't need to. He loves his kids to pieces, but that sometimes makes him a little overprotective. He doesn't want to seem uncaring to his kids, so he always tries to find new ways to bond with them. He was the one who instituted family board game and movie night, and he gets up early to make them breakfast every morning he can. He doesn't cuss around the kids, and he "scolds" Kyle when he slips up every once in a while, though it's not often.

Kyle is like Sheila number 2. He is aware of this and hates it. He has developed many of her mannerisms as he got older, and still cringes when he catches himself. Sometimes if he's getting riled up about something on the news or some shit that happened at work, he'll accidentally slip up and let out a curse word around the kids. This is more funny to the kids than anything, because Stan gets so worked up about it that it's really entertaining. I will specify that cuss words have never EVER been directed at the kids or used with them in conversation. It almost always happens when Kyle is reading about some stupid law being passed or new person in government, and is ranting to Stan about the "utter hilarity of the current political climate." This is how Celine learned the word bastard, and, much to Stan's dismay, will NOT stop using it. Mordecai thinks it's hilarious. Kyle is just embarrassed.

Everyone helps out around the house equally, and per Mordecai's request, Kyle drafted a chore chart that they've been using for at least 2 years now. (Mordecai was tired of Celine lying and saying it was his turn to do the dishes)

Stan falls asleep on the couch a lot, and most times, slowly the whole family will end up compiling on top of him in a puppy dog pile.

Kyle gives the kids piggyback rides way past when he physically can. 12-year-old Mordecai will still get piggyback rides around the zoo because Kyle can't say no to those puppy eyes. His back hates him for it.

Stan play fights with the kids, and it usually ends with him rolling around on the carpet laughing as two kids violently attempt to maul their father. Kyle usually jumps in before they succeed, but he makes it worse because he initiates the most aggressive tickle-fights known to man.

Ok, these are my two cents :3!! I will post more if you would like, but this post is huge so I'm gonna cut it off for now.

The Tortured Poets Department Review

Now that I've sat with it for a few days, I actually have some coherent thoughts on TTPD, though I won't know where it falls in my overall rankings for a while.

Overall

The thing people aren't getting is that this is Taylor Swift. This is, quite honestly, one of the most quintessentially Taylor albums she's ever released. It has the lyricism of Folklore, the sensibilities of Evermore, the self-awareness of Reputation, the storytelling of Fearless, the specificity of Debut and Speak Now, the vagueness and metaphors of 1989, the synths of Midnights, the rawness of Red. It's American Gothic. It's fictional. It's nonfiction. It's confessional, it's scathing, it's cringe, it's clever, it's more than a little crazy.

She admitted things in this album you couldn't waterboard out of me. People say it's the most unlikeable she's been, but it's also the most human. She's not censoring herself to keep her likeability. That's brave.

Fortnight [feat. Post Malone]

Do I like it? Yes. Do I think it should have been the album opener and the lead single? No, probably not. I'm planning on doing a track by track breakdown later, so I'm not going to go in depth on the lyrics here, but there are some interesting metaphors. You can tell she thinks she's slaying the "I want to kill her" line, and while she is, I don't think she's serving as much as she thinks. A vibe. On my playlist but not on repeat. 7/10

The Tortured Poets Department

The title track. This should have been the opener and lead single. It makes a much better mission statement for what this album is than Fortnight does. Who's gonna hold you like Taylor Swift? No fucking body. The production is.... twinkly? for lack of a better word. She's being specific and metaphorical, making cultural references, and she's self-aware--this is Taylor Swift, people. A vibe. Not on repeat, but only because I have others I prefer, not because I don't love it. 9/10

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

It's a metaphor, it's tongue in cheek, it's self-aware, it's heartbreaking, it's a bop. She knows the relationship is toxic and killing her, but it wasn't always, and so she keeps holding on hoping it will go back to the way it started. At the end, she accepts that it won't be going back. Lyricism? Peak. Beat? Peak. On repeat. 10/10

Down Bad

Incredibly real and human. She's reflecting on the feelings of being love bombed then left behind, how it feels so good until it really, really doesn't. A call back to New Romantics. The lyrics say sob, the beat says dance. 10/10 on loop.

So Long London

A track five. Does it live up to the name? I'm not sure. It's sad, certainly, but it doesn't have the rawness of All Too Well or My Tears Ricochet. It's more resigned and tired. She's accepted that the relationship has fallen apart and now she's just tired, frustrated, and ready to be done. Even if she's sad, she still has some control, and that makes it a little easier. Drags on a little long for me, but the flip of "so long" is definitely clever, and she has some very relatable lyrics, and I see the purpose to it being on the album. 7/10.

But Daddy I Love Him

Love Story's older sibling. Again, I won't get too into it bc I want to do a breakdown. She's self-aware but it doesn't help because she's just desperate to make her own decisions. Calling out conservatives and small-town churches. Cringe in places but that's our girl. Minus a point for the baby lyric being in the chorus instead of like. the bridge. Half a point back bc you SHOULD have seen my face. 9.5/10.

Fresh Out The Slammer

This has some juicy information, but I'll save that for the breakdown. Very metaphorical, but also specific enough we know what's going on. Excellent story-telling. Really brings us into the headspace she was in at the time. I don't have it on repeat but through no fault of it's own. 10/10.

Florida!!! [feat. Florence and the Machine]

Flop. The drug metaphor isn't that creative and while there are a few decent lyrical moments, it's just not that good and the soundscape isn't interesting enough to redeem it. That said, even a bad taylor swift song is better than a lot of other artists. 5/10.

Guilty As Sin?

I don't think I've ever heard a song approaching this issue (emotional infidelity) in this way. It's got all the hallmarks of a Taylor Swift song: pop culture references, references to her past discography, religious symbolism, an outro that matches the intro. It's painfully honest, unapologetic, and human. A bop. 10/10.

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?

Mad Woman and Mirrorball are shaking in their boots. It's giving horror, it's giving Salem Witch Trials, it's giving a reflection on fame and its effects. It's terrifying, it's haunting, it's beautiful, it's heartbreaking, it's unhinged. 10/10 doesn't feel like high enough.

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

We're at the saloon and I'm happy to be there. Another song that is quintessentially Taylor: country sensibilities, religious themes, self-awareness, story telling, change in the outro, bad decisions made out of love. Not my favorite but only because I like other songs better, not because I don't like it. 9/10.

loml

This may be the saddest song she's ever written. Two meanings to "loml" as there should be. She's heartbroken and it's breaking me too. Vocals are giving "I'm on the verge of tears." Story telling, religious themes, metaphors. It's scathing, it's haunting, it's confessional. I'm not crying you are. 10/10.

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

Lyrics are giving heartbreak, sound is giving bop. So powerful and relatable. Excellent storytelling, and tells us so much about her headspace. We know exactly what she's talking about. It's giving Youre On Your Own Kid. 10/10.

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

The storytelling, imagery, details--all peak Taylor. It's scathing, it's haunting, it's Taylor Fucking Swift. Wild to me that Mattie Healy's family listened to the album and were relieved because it could have been worse when this was in it. This, the take town of the century, could have been worse. Legendary. 10/10.

The Alchemy

If one more person tries to claim this is about Travis Kelsey there will be blood. "Oh but the football metaphor--" she's been doing that for years. Miss Americana, anyone? She's weirdly obsessed with high school football. This isn't about Travis, it's clearly about a rekindled relationship, not a new one. Travis can't spell "heroine" (I don't think he's stupid, but his tweets have proven he cannot spell). Metaphorical, clever, and definitely tells us her mindset. A bop. 9/10.

Clara Bow

This song. The Lucky One, Nothing New, they're both shaking in their boots. A reflection on what it's like to be a pop culture woman, the lies they tell you, and the promises they pull from you. Taylor saying her own name in a song. AND it's the album closer. 10/10 isn't nearly good enough.

Extended Album

The Black Dog

The storytelling, the way she took a single moment of stalking her ex and turned it into a beautiful lament on what it's like to lose someone and imagine what they're doing now, then in the outro brought it back to that one instant--and people say she can't write. Religious themes, references to past songs, this has it all. 10/10

imgonnagetyouback

Before people go around accusing her of copying Olivia Rodrigo, this would have been written before Get Him Back came out, so no copying occurred on anyone's part. They each took the concept and turned it into two very different songs. Imagery, story telling, craziness, a BRIDGE. 9/10.

The Albatross

Story telling, metaphors, literary references, clever turns of phrase, a change of meaning in the outro. Either a reflection on the way she's frequently depicted or is fictional, most likely a reflection on the way she's depicted through a fictional character. Just feels a little distant to me. 8/10

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

Heartbreak, metaphors, bisexuals--what more can I ask for? All while she's imagining her ex moving on and thinking about how it fell apart. Objectively good but just not that interesting to me. 7/10

How Did It End?

Another that's objectively good but just not clicking for me. Story telling, metaphors, the lyricism is slaying. Asking how it ended through the lens of a gossip uninvolved in the relationship, but not being sure how it ended herself. 7/10.

So High School

Glitter gel pen. Objectively, not that creative or interesting. It's just a bit of fun. She's not taking herself seriously, she's writing silly song about how she feels like a silly teenager in love, and it does have some interesting lyrics. It's a bop. You know Travis heard this and was like "this is great babe I love it." Objectively, like a six, but this song has a choke hold on me for some fucking reason. 9/10.

I Hate It Here

Everyone's talking about the racists lyric and I swear reading comprehension is gone. Piss on the poor. This is for the girlies who daydream 'too much', who devoured books in middle school, who took things to seriously and too literally. 10/10.

thanK you aIMee

This song is so funny to me. "Here's thirty songs about my mental state and btw fuck Kim K." Serving metaphor, lyricism, and homicide. A mythology reference. A scathing takedown. 8/10 an icon.

I Look In People's Windows

I've not seen nearly enough people talking about this one. It's so relatable, honest, and unhinged. Storytelling, imagery, wondering what if. Heartbreak. I've never heard a song take this approach to these emotions. 9/10.

The Prophecy

The desperation, the feeling of hopelessness, they hit hard. She's reflecting on the repeating patterns of lost relationships, and how it feels inevitable at this point, and how she's willing to beg for it. She's losing hope, and willing to do just about anything to have it again. 10/10 devestating.

Cassandra

I am a mythology nerd at heart, so using Cassandra as a metaphor was a guaranteed way to get me obsessed with a song. She's serving lyricism, story telling, imagery, metaphor, mythology references, anger, sadness, what more could I ask for? Heart breaking. 10/10

Peter

Literature references, lyrics, heartbreak. Objectively, it's very good, but I'm bored. 7/10.

The Bolter

Storytelling, imagery, lyrics, literature references, the Bolter serves it all. I'm not entirely sure what it's about but it's a bop. I think it's fictional, but it's Taylor reflecting on her own life through the lens of this fictional girl. 9/10

Robin

I. Don't care. It's probably got great lyrics or something but I skip before I'm through the first verse because I'm just bored. Sonically, boring. Lyrically, the first verse doesn't redeem it. I've listened all the way through once and it was enough for me. It's not egregious, it's just not interesting. Flop. 4/10.

The Manuscript

I also skip this one but I have more of an appreciation for it than I do for Robin, just because of the subject matter. I have my theories on what it's about *cough* All Too Well Ten *Cough*. I like this as an album closer as well. French press lyric kills me. 7/10.

FAQ

RULES FOR SENDING ASKS

No explicit NSFW. No heavy venting. No asking incredibly personal questions. I'm a "faceless" artist for a reason. No hate or rude comments towards myself as an artist and as a person as well as towards other people. I genuinely don't care if you think X is better than what I do, or what I do is better than X. It's not a compliment, don't bring other people down for the sake of wanting to say "nice things", please. Not going to mention way more extreme cases because they'd probably not be interacting with my blog if they read my DNIs list.

REPOSTS AND USAGE OF MY WORKS

NO REPOSTS but if you're using my art as pfp or a banner or something of the likes, ask me or not as long as there's proper credit then you're good! (Linking any of my active platforms in my carrd portfolio). You can also e-mail me (linked in my portfolio as well in pinned post) for other permissions you wish to ask for such as dubbing my works or adding them to compilations, etc.

ART REQUESTS

I don't do them UNLESS I feel like it AND make a post about asking for ideas on any art requests y'all may have that I can draw when I feel like it.

PROGRAMS

I use Clip Studio Paint EX to draw and sometimes animate on. My usual animation program is Toon Boom Harmony. And I write on Notion. I also edit with Capcut, Premiere Pro, After Effects, and Audition. My usual editing program is Capcut though.

UNANSWERED ASKS AND DMS

DMs have been closed because of xxx-bots and because getting DMs overwhelms me. If I ended up not answering your ask, it's most likely either I thought I answered them in my brain but forgot to actually answer them physically or you didn't read the rules. Every time I forget to answer asks, I feel a bit embarrassed to go back on them when a couple of time has passed by so they end up staying unanswered for the most part... I'm sorry! Sometimes I just genuinely don't know what to answer so I end up not responding and/or I wanted to keep your ask in my ask box for saving purposes.

FANART

I don't understand why people always ask me permission to make fanart for me, genuinely. And I don't mean it in a mean way, I mean it in a "You're asking me... If you're allowed to not only express that you like my works through making a work of your own but also to put in the time and effort to do so... You're asking me if it's okay? When I should be the one worrying a bit about that because I would want to compensate for those fanart if I had all the money in the world." Short answer, fuck yes. And please tag me, I always want to see them so I can save them. Unless they're NSFW then uhhh, no, no thank you... Enjoy doing that I guess, but respectfully, don't ever show me lmao.

TIMEZONE

I'm always mostly online when people of Tumblr are asleep, vice versa, because my timezone is GMT+8. I'm Asian.

NSFW CONTENT

I only go as far as suggestive/spicy jokes, poses, touching, heavy swearing, and maybe gore every now and then. I don't do explicitly NSFW works, despite being an adult and having the freedom to do that.

YOUTUBE

Yes. Yes, I'm also on YouTube. Yes I'm aware that I have a decent amount of following there and would probably get side-eye comments if people from YouTube see my simpish shit here on Tumblr. Do I care? Nah. Cringe culture is dead to me, I do what I want. 👍

THANKS FOR READING, HAVE SOME FLOWERS! 💐

I know the first one you posted was kind of this but I'd like to request Chris angst

(SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER, SCHOOL, AND WORK ARE KICKING MY ASS. Also, these are based on my own experience with panic attacks. I know that a lot of people touch triggering, but i personally find it grounding. Hope this is painful enough? ❤️)

He didn't know why he was still crying. His dad had passed out ages ago. But he just couldn't calm himself down. His face hurt, and he was shaking, and breathing just felt too hard. He'd been like this for at least an hour, but it felt like so so much longer. The lights in his room were too bright, but he didn't have it in him to uncurl himself from his corner to turn them off. "Chris?" He hadn't even heard the window open. "Chris...hey?" Everything was blurry. His thoughts ran together too much for him to focus on any particular one, The lights went out, and there was someone beside him. close but not close enough to touch. "Chris..." Nevin's voice softened as he moved to sit beside the taller boy. "Hey...look at me... can you look at me, please?" The boy asked gently, and after a moment or so, he slowly lifted his head up enough from his knees to look at the other as asked. It wasn't like Nevin didn't know what was happening. The intense aura of panic had smacked him in the face the moment he'd set foot in the boy's backyard. But seeing the look of Pure unfiltered distress on his face still made the shorter teens' heart clench uncomfortably. "Can I touch you?" He didn't want to make it worse. Sometimes, touched helped certain people, and sometimes, it made it worse. "Please...?" the boy croaked out, he needed something, something grounding, something to make the suffocating feeling go away. And just like that, there were arms wrapped around him that he immediately leaned into, tucking his face into the others shoulder, his hands bundling up the fabric of the emo teens pajama shirt, it briefly occurred to him that Nevin was asleep before he came here, his hair wasn't fixed properly and he hadn't even bothered with his jacket... but he couldn't focus on it long because there were nails raking through his hair and quiet mumbled reassurance he couldn't quite process but somehow still felt comfort from.

Slowly but surely, after a few minutes of gentle words and gentle hands, he finally finally could breathe again. "Chris...?" hands found their way to his face as Nevin pushed him back just enough so to properly look the boy over. Chris found himself grabbing onto the boy's waist, just to keep the contact as much as he could. Nevin didn't comment on it, just tilted the boy's face up a bit to inspect the very obvious bruise forming on pale skin. His eyes narrowed, but he chose not to speak on it then. He knew it would just upset Chris more, and that's the last thing the shaky kid needed right now. "Wanna talk about it?" He asked. "No..." Chris admitted, glancing away in an almost guilty manor. Nevin paused for a brief moment before speaking again. "Wanna get out of here?" He tilted his head as he moved his hands to take the others in them and squeeze gently. "....Yes." Chris was suddenly, all too aware of how much of a mess he was right now. His legs felt wobbly as he stood, and his head spinned for a moment as he let himself be slowly led over to the window.

And then that thought he'd had reoccurred to him as he watched Nevin open the window again in preparation for their escape. "Hey...Nev?" He asked, cringing internally at how cracky his voice sounded. "Yeah?" The reply came softly as he climbed out to the other side, finding his footing quickly on the slanted roof. He'd gotten used to this. Over the last few months, it'd become routine. "How did you know to come over?" The boy paused for a moment, turning to look back at the still trembling junior. "I don't know.." he shrugged. "I just.. felt like I should... so I did." he whispered, "I'm glad you did." He added, and if Nevin felt the affection that came with that statement, he didn't say a word about it. They were silent the rest of the way down, and if Chris chose to hold Nevins hand the rest of the way to his house, Nevin wouldn't say a word about that either.

20 Questions Writer Tag

Thanks for the tag @justafunctionalmess ❤️

I have two AO3 accounts so I'll be taking from both of them.

How many works do you have on AO3? 32 works, not counting two abandoned works that are not associated with me anymore.

What is your total AO3 word count? 76,137 words

What fandoms do you write for? Oof, so many it's such a long list. As for the ones I've posted: Psych, Bones, The X-Files, New Girl, Victorious, Monk, That 70s Show, Supergirl, Schitt's Creek, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the Shadowhunter Chronicles, and two others I'm not gonna mention because they're cringe. I write for at least double what I listed.

What are your top five fics by kudos? Daddy with 343 kudos (Supergirl; I hate it's my most popular fic, purely because of the title), Walter and Nancy with 239 kudos (Victorious), Sparks Fly with 207 kudos (Supergirl), Sleepover with 143 kudos (Schitt's Creek), and Superstar with 127 kudos (Supergirl again).

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to! I get email notifications of comments, so I really see them on there, absolutely cherish them, then forget to reply on AO3. Sometimes I go on to reply to some in batches. I never know what to say in reply, but I'm so grateful to everyone that comments!

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? The fic with the angstiest ending was Jericho (The X-Files). I've posted like two angsty fics total, and I don't usually write angst.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of my fics end happy so this one was really hard. I guess I'd have to say Cold Blooded Killer because it's not a traditionally happy fic until the end :)

Do you get hate on your fic? Very very rarely, yes. It's only happened three times. The first time I was so upset about it. The second and third times I'm pretty sure it was the same person (guest account commented) so I just deleted it.

Do you write smut? Yes, but I don't post it. I don't write it very often either, very rare.

Do you write crossovers? Nope, not my cup of tea. I don't read them either.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Probably not. At least not that I'm aware of...

Have you ever had a fic translated? No, but I have had someone record an audio of a fic I wrote. Hands down the coolest experience I've had with my writing so far!!

Have you ever co-written a fic? In a way, yes? If writing letters as characters back and forth with my sister counts.

What's your all-time favorite ship? I don't really have a favorite, BUT I guess I choose Mulder and Scully. Because of how they grew old together (I only watched the monster of the week episodes in the revival, but they were so cute together <3)

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? My Bones high school AU. I've gotten so far on it, but the path ahead is longer. Also, the Boneheads podcast needs to come out so I can rewatch Bones and start writing it again.

What are your writing strengths? Dialogue, probably. I love character interactions, that's what I live for in writing (and also why I write fic). I want to see characters interacting, not necessarily a cool plot, which is why I emulate that in my own writing.

What are your writing weaknesses? Prose. I just don't like writing it (or reading it for the most part).

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I don't know enough about any language to confidently write dialogue for it in my fics. I'd probably get one of my friends who's more fluent in other languages to help me.

First fandom you wrote for? I'm absolutely devastated to share that my first fanfic was for Martha Speaks. I was in second grade and PBS Kids was holding a contest for written stories. Mine ended up over the word limit so I never sent it in.

Favorite fic you've ever written? All of them. Even if the writing isn't as good, it was something I was so proud of at the time, and I can feel that when I read it.

Hmmmm, I'm tagging @bianxiousandcute, @sprqpointintern @that70sshowgoldencouple @thatseventiesbitch @tht70sblog

So, I used to pretty active here, some of you might remember me. I'm not an army anymore but I still have a soft spot for jikook so I occasionally check on what they've been up to, but I don't delve deep at all and miss a lot of stuff. In the past few days however I was overcome by a sudden jikook-missing wave and started going through some of my tags from when my blog was active which made me miss them even more (and also made me realize that the overwhelming majority of the blogs I used to reblog from have since deactivated or just stopped posting/turned their blogs into something else, which was a bit sad). So I went to the jikook tag and started browsing a bit to see what was going on in the shipdom. I was a bit surprised to see how little activity there is in the tag compared to a few years ago, and there seems to be quite a mess going on: extremely polarized views compared to before, dubious amounts of delulu theories, and especially a lot of jikookers dropping the ship for one reason or another, although most or the reasons given make little sense to me (yes, I did see THAT post and all I'm gonna say is.. yikes). And like, you do you. We don't have to agree on everything. You know more than I do anyway lol, since I don't follow jikook closely. But there was one specific thing that kinda baffled me. The JM tattoo discourse. I'm late to the party, I know. I'm sure a lot was said at the time, but I wasn't around back then checking the tag. I was vaguely aware that jk talked about his tattoos in a live, and claimed the ARMY tattoo on his hand referred to armys (duh) and the J referred to Jungkook (makes sense). I literally didn't think anything of it at all at the time, I just thought it was nice of him to explain the meaning of his tats. But while scrolling through the jikook tag these past few days I realized that quite a lot of people considered that to be some sort of "debunking" that the JM stands for Jimin, sometimes to the point of dropping the ship because of it, or considering it the ultimate proof that jikookers have lost it if they still believe it stands for jimin and are now moving like teakookers or whatever. And I'm just, confused. I was like where is the debunking. Now. I'm not one for delulu theories. I think they can be fun sometimes, and I used to reblog some of them from time to time but for the most part I just thought they were cringe and always preferred to focus on jikook's actual actions and words (I never really actually cared if they were "real" or not, I just love their relationship and have enough reasons to believe they have feelings for each other and are attracted to each other, but how they deal with these feelings and attraction isn't really any of my business). However, the JM thing. I wasn't even aware it was considered a theory. For me it's just.. there. His ring finger literally spells out JM. Not a theory, it's a fact. Jk knows that JM is frequently used to refer to jimin, we literally have abundant proof of it. Jimin knows it. Armys know it. So unless you think Jungkook is a complete idiot who has somewhat never realized how that's gonna be perceived (which is possible I guess, but very unlikely), it was obviously deliberate. However, I never, ever, ever for a second thought that Jungkook would ever "confirm" it verbally one day. I see it as a statement on its own, that doesn't require an explanation and will never get one because it doesn't need one. It's just there, it speaks for itself, you can just choose whether you wanna see it or ignore it. So I was just puzzled to see people think there was any "debunking" going on. He didn't lie. Of course the M is part of ARMY. Of course the J is for Jungkook. But the JM is still for Jimin. He's not gonna say it because there is no need for him to. In a way, it's comparable to gcft. It's all there for everyone to see, and he knows it, but he's never gonna spell it out. He's never gonna say this is my love declaration for Jimin in video format. He doesn't need to, you'll see it on your own if you're open to it.

I really mean no offense but I feel that sometimes some people go so hard with the whole "I am SKEPTICAL because I'm smart and not a delulu shipper like you and I don't wanna be associated with you clowns" that it ends up circling back to being delusional except in the opposite direction. Apparently some of you genuinely think he just happened to put the J above the M, on his ring finger, and it just HAPPENS to read JM vertically. He also concidentally happens to never cover up the J with rings, and regularly gets the JM touched up but not the other letters (and I DID think jikookers were being delusional about this at first, but it kept happening and became undeniable so what was the point of denying it, I thought). All a coincidence. It doesn't mean anything, because Jungkook pointed out the obviousness of ARMY meaning his fandom and J meaning Jungkook. Did I miss something huge here?

20 Questions for fic writers

Tagged by @dear-massacre

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Twenty-one. Twenty fics and one weird standalone soundtrack, lol.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

195,750.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Teen Wolf so far, but I maybe I'll get around to some ideas I have for The Sandman or something else one day.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Thunder (Sterek. 12.1k. Explicit. Depressed loner Derek meets on-the-run Werefox/Kitsune Stiles in rural Montana.)

The Cold Moon (Sterek, 40.6k. Explicit. Part one of a story where Stiles is forced across a mysterious boundary by Hunters and encounters a semi-feral Alpha Derek. My first published fic.)

Second Chance Strays (Sterek, 8.5k. Explicit. Mage Stiles, Derek, & Larem the deer alone in the wilderness. A Fuck or Die situation ensues when a darach attacks.)

CLAIM! (Sterek, 11.9k, Explicit. Misunderstandings and making up after Derek & Stiles meet at Jungle and hook-up.)

Customer Service (Sterek, 10.9k. Explicit. Surly barista omega Derek and human college student Stiles. Banter, vulgar latte art, and heat sex. Dominant Derek, Service Top Stiles.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Sometimes it takes a while, but comments are appreciated and I know I like getting responses.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I guess Amīca (Derissa) because it's an unresolved pre-relationship fic that's meant to be the first In a series. I've been a happy ending gal, so no real angsty ones so far. The angst is in the beginning and/or middle!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The rest of them? 😂

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't yet. Knocks on wood.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. Most of my fics have smut at some point, lol. Or belong to series that do/will.

Um, barebacking and creampie/breeding. Cum eating or play and marking in general, including hickeys and biting.

Virgin/first time bottoming, praise kink, light degradation, and knotting are also in a number of stories. Some spanking, bondage and pinning, and generally low-key dominance and submission. Chasing and claiming and a few omegaverse or just self-lubrication. (I have plans for more.)

All M/M or M/M/M so far, but I have WIPs and notes with other combinations. I have a bunch of Kinktober bits from 2022 to turn into fics that I'm both nervous and excited about. And lots of other ideas too.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not yet, but I have a summary for a Sterek Teen Wolf/The Sandman crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. Sounds both fun and kinda scary.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Sterek is what finally got me into fanfiction and the whole shipping fandom thing a few years ago, so I gotta go with them. I enjoy a bunch of others from Teen Wolf too (especially Steter, Stetopher, and Sterek + various people) and from other fandoms.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I currently intend to finish all my WIPs, but who knows what the future will hold. I have 3 posted WIPs that I definitely plan to complete: The Wolf Moon, The Depths, and 15 Shades of Red. I have dozens of unposted ones that I also hope to finish...eventually.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Apparently dialogue, world building, characters' inner thoughts, and being funny sometimes. Coming up with ideas.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Epithets. It's just tricky when the characters have the same pronouns and I hate writing their names over and over. (I don't mind when other people do it though, so 🤷🏽‍♀️. But then I'll be like, "I can't say Derek three times in this paragraph!")

I've started looking for ones to remove whenever I edit now (and I'm cringing thinking about earlier stories that I should re-edit at some point,) but I still use some and am self-conscious about it.

Also, sometimes I info dump, but that doesn't bother me so much. Boom, here's a bunch of background now let's get on with it, lol.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've used a few words in Polish here and there in some stories, but I probably wouldn't try to write whole conversations in another language unless I was familiar with it or could ask someone about it.

There's some Patois/Patwah in Irie, which was interesting to write because there's no one set spelling of many words, so it was part looking at common ones and part "What did it sound like/how was it phrased when this relative or family friend said something like this?"

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I vaguely recall thinking up scenes, dialogue, background, etc, for a story with Byakuya Kuchiki/Shūhei Hisagi from Bleach approximately 5 billion years ago when I was a teenager, but I don't remember if I ever actually wrote anything. Definitely didn't finish or publish anything. So...Teen Wolf.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Hmm. I can't say that I have a favorite. I only started actually writing from my list of fic ideas around 16 months ago, IIRC. Maybe if I look back on them all after enough time passes I'll be able to pick one out (though knowing me...still probably not,) but right now they're all just...floating around in my head and also mixed with the particular experiences of writing them, idk.

Here's a recent one that was fun to write:

Legs (Sterek, 4.3k. Explicit. Snark and smut after college students Derek and Werecreature Stiles cross paths at the mall.)

If you want to play along, tag, you're it!

Welcome to my tickle blog!!

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ABOUT ME: My name is May. I am 17 years old and someone who's bigender (male&female) and uses both She/Her and He/Him. Along with that, I'm also biromantic and aroace; more specifically demiromantic and demisexual!

Happily taken, almost two years already ♡

Perhaps being a mess when it comes to socialize, I'm always trying my best and answering all and any asks.

Be aware that I rarely reply to DM's.

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ABOUT MY BLOG: Here I'll be posting tickle-related content, either my own thoughts/stories or my hyperfixations (which are always cartoons).

Mostly headcanons and fanfics, sometimes arts too.

CURRENT HYPERFIXATION: Spooky Month — Roy!!

REQUESTS OPEN

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IMPORTANT: Please no hate, this is made for comfort, if it bothers you then just leave.

DNI weirdos in general please.

Yes I AM CRINGE. VERY.

That's all :]