#also to continue my fuckin. preaching.
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I know various people have talked about how insular people around here are but like. we need to actually incorporate this fact into our behavior, and change it. and what I mean by this is. people who aren't online all the time have an extremely different perspective on almost everything we take for granted here.
like. my parents watched Sherlock. they enjoyed it a lot and my mom still makes jokes related to it without any irony or self-loathing. to them it was just. a fun detective show, a modern take on an old story. watch once and move on with life. she and my dad didn't spend several years knee-deep in navel-gazing meta that ruined it for everyone so now they can't talk about it without feeling like everyone's going to judge them for ever liking it in the first place.
partially this is a function of a lot of people here being teens & kids when it came out, but we (my parents & me) were adults. I was having a good time in fandom and look back on the 2010s pretty fondly while a lot of people here are still going through the process of hating their past selves, and you tend to project that onto the things you used to like. I did that too. and then I came around to forgiving & loving my past selves--all of them--which is why I have no problem admitting to all the things I loved in the early 90s & early 2000s but would have had a hard time admitting to 15 years ago.
but it's not just that. the weird refusal to pretend certain things never happened--Harry Potter. a smaller example, Firefly. etcetera. people think if you even mention HP at all you're automatically terf? like...if you go into the outside world, I'm sorry, but JKR's shit beliefs are not common knowledge. and like it or not that book kinda changed the world. and not all for the worse.
(I will NOT go off here on why Joss Whedon seems to get a pass for Buffy & Avengers but someone mentioned a bad thing about Firefly and now we can't talk about it at all--not to mention that it's apparently still okay for him to actively profit off of his work--but. that's off topic.)
(for the record my views are thus: neither of these creators should get any more money or attention as creators, but we shouldn't pretend that the stuff they made had zero effect on us as a culture or as individuals.)
this isn't really about any of these pieces of media specifically, it's more like. this weird insular culture that believes certain things are common knowledge and therefore if you ever talk about them except for in the Approved ways, You're Bad. it's not healthy here and it's not healthy if you ever plan to have a conversation with any living human.
I'm tired of like. if you post a gif of the wrong show you're cringe. if you reference a the wrong book you hate queer people. if you quote the wrong show you're racist. no matter what the actual gif or quote or reference is. it's not like that outside the internet and on the internet it feels like walking on very stupid eggshells.
I know how we got here but it's dumb. the past happened. it wasn't always perfect but we were still part of it. if we erase it we'll never learn from it but we'll also never get comfy with good the ways it shaped us.
we're so busy molding ourselves into a perfect future that we don't realize that the imperfect past got us here in the first place. let it exist. in all the ways it was.
#adventures in text posts#also to continue my fuckin. preaching.#you can curtail all day what people are & aren't allowed to talk about#but I ask you#what does any of this accomplish in terms of actually helping people#because I guarantee you my problematic (tm) mom does more for her community than any post I've read on this shithole#so what are you actually doing
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𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒.
pairings — fem!reader and rafe cameron.
summary — after rafe takes your life, he tries to move on, and simply pretends he’s the one who didn’t do so. eventually, hauntings and truths will lay themselves out to remind rafe just how sickening he is.
warning tags — adult language. details of gruesome m*rder & m*rder itself. mentions of DV relationship, (brief) child ab*se & awful parents. talks of religion and god. reader’s pov from heaven (?? just stick w the program). rafe actually going more insane than usual. overall dark content.
author’s note — this is based on and inspired by ethel cain’s song ‘strangers’ and while this song has multiple interpretations to go by, i’m taking mine by the main and common one (just without the c*nnibalism!). this also gets super dark and depressing so if you cannot bear any of it, please click off! this also isn’t revised at all so my apologies for grammar mistakes.
likes, shares & reblogs are very much appreciated ⋆୨୧ ₊ﾟ
you had tears in your eyes, body shaking to point you thought you’d convulse. you tried to be obedient by keeping in rafe’s secret of what he had done on that tarmac. he beat you to make sure you kept your mouth shut for good.
he said, “i’ll kill you if you say one word,” and it took enough fear to believe him, but you didn’t think that day would come.
murder is an evil thing, and everyone can attest to it. rafe murdered sheriff peterkin as if she was nothing, as if she was a problem in the way. bad enough, he let john b. routledge — one of your best friends — take the fall for it.
you continued to keep your mouth shut, but after rafe tried to invade the police, ward killing himself, you didn’t see a reason to keep quiet. ward was the only reason why rafe could stay out of prison, and now that he wasn’t around, you could speak.
your father preached every sunday to live by righteousness and good, to never let evil win.
rafe was that evil. he was the devil himself.
the devil that you danced with, let make love to you, kiss you, but also beat you until stars twinkled in your vision, and your breath kept getting caught in your throat.
your mother would be horrified to know that, your father too. but it was their fault in a way that you accepted this cruelty as love; your father, especially to blame.
if love is not meant to be hit at you, does it even exist? your father showed you that when he’d slap or punch you for falling out of line, but go to church the next day, and preach about being a good servant to god.
you wanted all evil out of your life. it was suffocating, it was drowning you.
rafe had to be eliminated first.
“you killed peterkin, and i’m tired of knowing it,” you said, picking up your car keys. “we are done, and i won’t even show up to your trial when you go down for it.”
rafe just stared at you appalled and puzzled, sitting on the edge of his bed. you were close to being far out enough to your car until strong, violent hand seized you.
you screamed and kicked, not being new to this routine, only knowing that he was going to harm you.
you could never predict that his violence would lead him to murdering you.
“let me go, rafe!” you screamed, being pulled inside, your pleas and cries echoing in the empty home.
expecting to be physically berated, you were being led downwards.
to the wine cellar basement.
and for once in a while, you prayed to god, and hoped he would finally listen to you this time. that he would save his child, and perform a miracle.
but a miracle never came as rafe manhandled you, pinning you down on the cement ground of the basement.
“shut the fuck up! stop crying!” he yelled, a solid punch coming to your cheek, and you yelped, an easy gush of blood rushing out of your mouth. “you’re a fuckin’ backstabber. after everything i’ve done for you, gonna treat me like that?”
you cried, shaking your head. “r—rafe, please! i’ll be good, i’ll stop!”
“don’t trust you, little one. can’t let you ruin everything,” rafe said, reaching for something out of his back pocket.
the more you fought back, the more angry he got; the more you fueled the fire that rested in his hands and body.
before you could let out another plead, a sharp pain was made into your abdomen.
rafe stabbed you — and he wasn’t planning on stopping there.
god wasn’t there. you would show up to his gates in this condition, and ask him why he let it happen. if god is real, why did he bear witness instead of saving you?
rafe doesn’t recall killing you.
he remembers grabbing, and dragging you down into wine cellar basement, but couldn’t be able to tell anyone what happened after that. all he knows your blood was quite literally on his hand, knife shaking in his grip.
your babydoll white dress was now stained with violence and scarlet red blood.
the sight should’ve made him sick, but it didn’t. he just stared at you, breathing heavy, and it didn’t strike him until a while later that he had killed you.
rafe cameron had killed the love of his life.
he only panicked when it came to how to dispose your body, take off any evidence that could trace back to him. he was more than willing to dump your body in the woods, let any gators eat at you for supper.
he tossed your body only hours later in the depths of the woods, and it didn’t take long until you were reported missing.
of course, he was questioned first. it was easy for him to play the concerned boyfriend, crying because he also hadn’t heard from you, saying he had been texting and calling you for hours.
your parents sobbed on the news and asking anyone to come forward with any information, that they’ll give up however much money for their child to come home.
rafe just stared numbly at the television screen, a cup of scotch in his hand.
your best friends, the pogues, sobbed for days, and even started a search party for you. rafe made sure to dig you levels down in those woods when the ground was wet enough to dig up, and cover you up.
sarah cameron had a feeling her brother had something to do with your ‘disappearance’ but it was only just a gut intuition, she couldn’t prove it. she always questioned why you got with her brother, always emphasizing how horrible and violent he was, but you would tell her, “you don’t know him like i do; you don’t know how much he loves me, and takes care of me.”
kiara knew how bad rafe was — for god sake, she momentarily went to the academy around the same time he was a senior. she knew he wasn’t destined to be a boyfriend, let alone even in a fucking relationship.
the boys of the group were beyond furious, the three wanting to round up and take ahold of rafe, beat some information out of him. but they knew you wouldn’t want that, and that rafe would easily get the police to arrest them.
however, months passed, and you slowly became a memory to not only the town, but to rafe himself. he went on with his days like nothing occurred, that he didn’t violently take the life of his girlfriend.
you weren’t on his mind anymore, and he didn’t have to worry about you anymore.
or so he thought.
karma and revenge go hand in hand together; they mingle and burst out, they make sure they arrive at the doorstep of the people who deserve it.
rafe always thought getting rid of you would avoid his downfall, but the murder of you was just the beginning of it all.
he slept peacefully like he had done for a while now, with him about to drown into a deep sleep. he rested with his hands laid atop of his stomach, comfortable and at solitude, a female whisper woke him up.
he peeked around, but saw no one. he assumed he was just sleep deprived and imagining things, his eyes closing again for sleep.
“do you feel sick yet?” the voice that sounded like yours came through, more clearer and visible. he shot up, and turned on his bedside lamp.
nothing. no one. not you.
why would he have to feel sick? you were gone, you were no longer a problem.
rafe shook it off, and was able to go back to sleep.
you were angry in the afterlife. you stared at rafe from heaven, trembling with rage and regret. a man you once loved, had acted as if you never existed. you adored him, and he disposed you like garbage.
you just wanted to be his, wanted him to tell you that you were his only; that he loved you as much as you did to him, that he would change and better himself for you.
that the violence would dissipate, and his rough hands would be nurtured with love and softness.
but no. that never came, and never would.
you were taunted by your murder, burning with the need to remind rafe of how sick he was.
your violent lover let you bleed before him, and without tending to your wounds or simply sitting with immediate regret, he soaked in his actions and dismissed it.
why couldn’t he be gentle? was him painting you blue and purple not enough? did he have to go as far as killing his lover to satisfy the disdain and vexation he held for you?
was that enough? was that enough to make you enough?
rafe’s nights slowly turned interrupted and sleepless. your voice was always there, and time to time, he thought he saw you standing in his bedroom, drenched in blood and with tears streaming down your face as you kept asking him, “do you feel sick yet?”
sick. not regretful. fucking sick.
sleep deprivation was catching up to him, making him more mean and angry than usual, more out of control.
the coke wasn’t even helping either, only making everything worse.
he was at barry’s trailer, snorting endless lines of the white powder, trying to shake off the sight of you from last night.
“country club, you good?” barry asked, and rafe didn’t respond. “you don’t seem well, bro.”
“just need this shit, okay?” rafe mumbled, separating another drop of cocaine. “just… just want to sleep, need it.”
barry didn’t want to push him with more questions, minding his own business as the blond haired boy snorted up excessive amounts of lines.
rafe ended falling asleep on his couch, barry mindlessly scrolling on his own phone as he laid down on his bed.
the cold air from the air conditioner ran around in the basement, making it more freezing and chilling than usual.
rafe could smell strawberry perfume, indicating you were around. he looked around, and saw nothing of you.
“where are you!” he screamed. “you can’t scare me, you bitch!”
“i’m not here to scare you,” you talked, rafe spinning around to find you perched in the corner of the basement. you careened closer, the dim light emphasizing on your mangled body.
rafe stared at your stomach, where immense stab wounds laid on it. he swallowed thickly, his breath shaking and jagged.
“do you feel sick?” you asked, and rafe looked up at you. he couldn’t move in this dream, he was paralyzed and a witness to your lacerated body.
nausea and despair washed over rafe, almost consuming him entirely.
you were finally face to face with him, your hair disheveled and bunched, face stained with tears and runny makeup, all for him to look at.
rafe could feel your physical touch, your soft hand grabbing his, and made his palm touch your abdomen. he almost fucking threw up.
you could see it, you could see he was wanting to vomit everywhere. “am i making you feel sick?” you asked, and rafe shivered, forcing his hand to put more pressure on your stomach, blood rushing out onto it. “am i making you feel sick?”
rafe screamed and lurched up, his eyes opening and alarming barry. “woah, what the fuck, rafe!” barry shouted, and rafe breathed rapidly, his heart thumping against his chest, a need to vomit.
rafe brought his face into his hands, trying to shake everything out of his hand.
your face, your touch, your blood — he felt it all. he was being reminded of you, when he didn’t want to.
barry kept asking him what was wrong, why he was crying, if he was okay, but all rafe could focus on was your voice asking, “am i making you feel sick?”
he was no longer immune to his destruction. he was becoming infected by it. you were a disease that he couldn’t treat, a parasite that ate at his brain.
he would never get rid of you — and you would make sure that he never did.
it was month seven without you, and you became a faded name to the outer banks. the only people who lived on to tell your name was your parents, and your best friends. the pogues carved your name into the chateau’s tree, a ceremonial bench placed at the high school.
your body or you weren’t ever discovered, but the police had listed you as deceased. you weren’t a runaway, you were eighteen, and had nothing to runaway for. when you couldn’t be traced anywhere on the grid, the police pronounced you dead, and that was that.
pictures of you and any sort of evidence remained in a cardboard box somewhere in the police station. you were left to rot in every way.
you were tired of being forgotten, but more exhausted that nobody knew that your boyfriend did this, and you probably weren’t going to be the first girl he killed.
rafe cameron needed to know what he did, and you wanted to do everything you could to make him drag himself to the police station, sit down, and say, “i killed her — and i enjoyed every fucking second of it.”
madness was becoming rafe. he was already an insane, depraved fuck before, but the lack of sleep and memories of the murder were catching up to him for good.
dark circles were around his eyes, hair greasy and messy, his body tired. he felt like he was going to snap any second.
he kept drinking, smoking weed and doing coke back to back, surprised that his heart didn’t give out yet.
a random exhaustion toll pushed over him, laying him down on the floor of his bedroom, and his eyes threatened to snap shut.
he didn’t want to sleep, he was afraid to. he was afraid to see you, with your bloody dress and sad face, making him touch your wounds.
rafe didn’t win the fight of sleeping, and he knocked out cold on his bedroom floor.
he wasn’t in the basement, he was in his bedroom, and he could hear your feet padding away to the front of the house, to your car.
oh, he was reliving the night. and he couldn’t stop. he couldn’t get out of the memory — he was facing everything.
he saw you bloody by his doorframe, and you tilted your head. “why are you doing this?” he asked, his voice sounding as if he was trapped in a void.
you only frowned. “so you know.”
like a reflex, rafe hurriedly rushed over to you outside before you could get away, seizing you away, and taking you to the basement.
he pinned you down to the ground, and screamed at you to stop crying, upset and angry you were willing to betray him when he did everything for you.
you were sobbing, but it became echoes and his ears rang, everything around him becoming silent except his own heavy breathing. he grabbed the knife that sat in his pocket, and he could see your eyes widen with fear to the sight of the object.
“rafe!” you screamed in the first stab. he hit you sharp and right in the abdomen.
he held his knife there for a second, like time was freezing him, and he felt a hot breath at the side of his face.
it was you.
“am i making you feel sick?” you asked, and rafe proceeded to stab you as you sobbed. you cried out his name, trying to fight away the knife, promising to be good and for him to stop.
“am i making you feel sick?”
another stab.
“am i making you feel sick?”
another stab.
“am i making you feel sick?”
another stab.
“am i making you feel sick?”
rafe couldn’t stop, he couldn’t control himself. he kept stabbing you as you screamed. he was a monster, with the inability to suppress his anger or violence.
“am i making you feel sick?”
another stab.
“am i making you feel sick?”
another stab.
“am i making you feel sick?”
another stab.
“am i making you feel sick?”
a part you thought you were making him feel sick because of how mutilated your body was; that the body he was once desired, was now filling him with disgust. you wondered if how butchered you looked, was making him uncomfortable and sick. he didn’t deserve your concern, but it happened anyway. was it making him sick?
rafe wanted to cry, but couldn’t. he was revisiting the person he was in this moment, and could see life vanish from your eyes, death taking you away.
he took one last stab, and held it there like the first one. you kneeled in front of him, looking over at your corpse for a moment before your eyes settled into his raging ones.
he held prolonged eye contact with you as you inched your face close to his, but kept a safe distance. you placed your hand on top of his murdering one, and with a blank face, lastly asking him, “am i making you feel sick?”
rafe broke eye contact with you to look at your deceased body, and realized and remembered this murder. your organs could be nearly seen, blood gushed and poured out everywhere, your body cold and still.
he dropped the knife, and eyed you. “i’m sorry.”
you shook your head, and sighed. “you will revisit this everyday as long as you live,” you said, sniffling. “all i wanted was to be yours, and be good enough, rafe. was i no good?”
he didn’t have an answer, and with that, you got up, staring over at your body. “i want you to know,” you chuckled softly to yourself, “i never blamed you for loving me the way that you did. i forgive you, especially since i’m happier where i’m at.”
“heaven?” rafe asked.
you nodded. “you won’t make it here, but i’ll still hope and wait that you do — because i love you too much to let god be angry with you too.”
“he’s an angry man?”
“he’s angry and unfair,” you responded. “like someone i know. i loved god, i loved you; two men who didn’t view me as much, who don’t deserve for me to believe in them.”
rafe went quiet, and enough time went by for you to disappear for good to let rafe cry, and scream. he cried and sobbed, dry heaving as he vomited everywhere to the sight of you.
he killed you, and as long as he kept it to himself, you would drive him mad and insane with the knowing of it.
rafe cameron confessed to your murder only hours later. he drove himself to the police station, and confessed to every detail, telling sheriff shope where your body was.
they found your maimed body in the exact location where rafe told them it was, your body already decomposing into near bones, eaten by critters and bugs.
the earth was consuming you.
he was hated forever, the town wanted him torched or given the death penalty. it would be a while until he got a trial.
your funeral could be proper with your body in a casket, given a rightful way to be down in the ground, protected and secured by a box stuffed with silk fabric.
you could see your mom cry, and you wish she wouldn’t. your father had to give the prayer at your funeral, your best friends sobbing, and hating themselves for not getting you away from rafe sooner.
however, your death was simply inevitable. if rafe didn’t kill you, your love for him would. he was everything to you.
even when he was murdering you — getting a vile satisfaction from it — you were worried about him, if you and your maimed body was making him feel more nauseous and sick than the actual murder was.
rafe would live with the knowing that you truly loved him, and he took your life every single day that he spent in a prison block cell.
and your ghost would continue to linger and haunt him, never letting him know peace and serenity as he never did to you.
#rafe cameron#outer banks#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron outer banks#obx#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron fluff#drew starkey obx#drew starkey one shot#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x you#rafe outer banks#outer banks fanfiction#drew starkey x reader#outer banks imagine#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron x female reader
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Live "I don't care enough right now to test on harder difficulties or thoroughly preach benchmark statistics so here's my gut reaction to testing in 1-4 difficulty range for fun" reaction to new weapons as I test them:
Kinda fucking RULES which is surprising because I was certain it'd be something I don't enjoy :)
So the Sickle is basically what would happen if the base AR had infinite ammo but encouraged you to "pace" yourself and use your support/secondary to manipulate its energy weapon heat- with the option to just dump your battery and treat it like a normal AR if you want with it arguably operating best if you do both- pacing when you can but letting yourself dump the battery if you have to.
Oh, but the best part. You know how the Scythe pretty much has no stagger at all? Awkwardly emptying around a second and a half into an enemy to even have a chance of staggering and even then pretty much just on limb break? (meaning it might straight up have no stagger potential on its own?). This has normal AR stagger :) So it ACTUALLY protects you when things get close :)
While I still feel the slugger is the overall better weapon due to effectively being medium armor pen on a shotgun that does really good damage- this has tied for my favorite primary atm and will be my main for a looong time (due to overusing the slugger a tiny bit lol) :)
Kinda fuckin' sucks and that makes me sad as hell since it was one of 2 weapons I was stoked for :(
It's kinda what you expect and then a few surprises. It sucks because it's weak as fuuuuuuck.
100 damage is BAD BAD. Like "Only kill the smallest most pathetic enemies in the game" bad, like "Do nothing at all to anything slightly above that tier" bad, and that's Veeeery noticeable.
So, rapid fire some observations from my bot run with it.
The plasma has a small capacity that you'll be feeling since it pumps out so little damage.
It takes 5 direct hits to kill a normal devastator.
It's very satisfying to land a shot in a group of weak bots and kill the bulk of them, but the AOE range is TINY.
It has an intense arc to its fire which unironically is kinda fun to treat like a mortar spam weapon, except it does not have the ammo economy to actually do that effectively.
The arc makes actually hitting things precisely garbage if they are moving. Skill issue, but also just a "This is a slow moving heavy arc weapon" issue.
Will instant kill you if within the small AOE radius.
Continuing the kinda weird use of the phrase "explosive" in weapon affix terms, does not do the type of damage necessary to blow up fabricators. It is indeed just the "100% damage to weakspot" damage but at least this is an explosive primary that ACTUALLY HAS AOE!!! (small but usable! I know I keep saying small but it is just barely usable!)... on a weapon that does virtually no damage and is difficult to aim so you won't realistically be using it against weakspots and if you do the payoff is doing less damage than a single slugger round to a NON-weakspot with your explosive bonus weakspot damage weapon.
The explosion (not the direct hit) appears to ignore armor at least up to medium armor (devastator, didn't test above), which is nice! But it still does low damage, hence taking 5 shots to kill a devastator.
Honestly it kinda just feels like an extremely, extremely unreliable primary. Great for spamming from a good position down onto a swarm of scavengers, and then pretty much no other use-case? So I know we usually rely on our support weapons but this makes for a pretty "empty" slot when equipped, pretty much only there for fun, which is okay I guess but I really wish it performed more effectively.
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I posted 30,185 times in 2022
That's 7,520 more posts than 2021!
29 posts created (0%)
30,156 posts reblogged (100%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@fraddit
@bratpidd
@liminal-zone
@pearwaldorf
@dollsome-does-tumblr
I tagged 29,798 of my posts in 2022
Only 1% of my posts had no tags
#0 - 675 posts
#interview with the vampire - 2,136 posts
#iwtv amc - 2,028 posts
#art - 1,736 posts
#our flag means death - 1,654 posts
#fashion - 887 posts
#critical role - 885 posts
#design - 550 posts
#what we do in the shadows - 488 posts
#words - 477 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#your boughts of bad luck eventually come back around as bonuses to you and what you protect as miraculous coincidences of earned convenience
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Blackbeard:
18 notes - Posted March 24, 2022
#4
umm hello, "vaxgrog???" 👀👀👀
also affectionately known as the Vax/Grog spanking fic! because spanking reasons.
which is to say, playfighting that sometimes involves getting Vax smacked around. i got lost somewhere in the eventual blowjob, idk.
--
It only takes a few minutes for Vax to become sweaty, and tired, and irritated, and when Grog delivers a beautiful, solid smack across his backside he swears hard enough to actually use up the rest of the air in his lungs.
Grog stops. Vax realizes he’s gone still. His face is mashed into the training floor - one hand digging into the ground, the other pulled up behind his back. His knees are tucked up under him, barely, and one of Grog’s legs is shoved between them.
"Again?" Vax asks, and the world is barely out before Grog's blisteringly large hand slams through the air.
Vax swears again, before he can bite it back, and then Grog is off top of him, yanking Vax’s pants down around his knees as quick as Grog has ever done anything, Vax is sure, and he gets to bury his face in his arms when the spanking begins in earnest.
“What's that?” Grog asks, sharp and teasing but not unkind.
“Please,” Vax says, “please, you big dumb motherfucker,”
19 notes - Posted August 24, 2022
#3
"Catholicism continues to be hilarious" oh so now the PROTESTANT is going to preach to us now?
idk if this is a friend being funny or a serious anon but please know this IS the funniest ask I've ever received
21 notes - Posted February 22, 2022
#2
clock symbolism this, ice pick that, why is no one talking about how Katya and Sofia were the inspiration for Emma Frost and Jean Grey
23 notes - Posted November 23, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Nope (2022) fic recs
11 recs -- mostly OJ/Angel, OJ & Emerald & Angel, some Jupe + Mary Jo
dreamin’ with the lights on., by mr_charles
OJ is there to take care of Angel after he gets out of the hospital.
or--?
save a horse, ride a cowboy.
where’s the love you’re after? by judypoovey
"So what, you want an Oprah shot for a first kiss? We gonna meet at the gulch during golden hour? Should I call that photographer Em was fucking for a photoshoot like we're getting engaged?"
choke on the memory now., by mr_charles
the best way to keep Angel Torres' mouth shut is to put something else in it.
or:
"yeah no, this is kinkier than I planned"-- an actual text sent to judypoovey
got to know that i’ve been calling you home, by judypoovey
After Jean Jacket, OJ can't figure out what it is Angel even wants from them.
He's not obsessing over it.
broken glass sparkling, by kocasoda
“Not in the mood for VR anymore?”
“Nope,” Angel had said, nervous, almost apologetic. “I just can’t anymore. I need— I gotta be able to see what’s actually going on around me or I get all weird, y'know, ‘cause what if something happens and I’m not as fast as I was last time? If I was a second off with that barbed wire fence, Jean Jacket would've— I mean, it got me, it fuckin' had me in its mouth, I was in it—“ and then he inhaled hard and had a panic attack.
Every Animal Has Rules, by sublightsleeper
OJ is good at patterns. He's good at routines. He's not so good at reading the room.
aka: Five times Angel kissed OJ and one time OJ kissed Angel.
shining sugars, by inaspic
The road trip, all day and a half of it, is less about getting a new horse and (definitely) more about breaking away from the noise.
The Show Goes On, by draculard
In 1999, eight months after Gordy's birthday party, a cameraman lugs his RCA into Mary Jo's hospital room.
reaching the serene., by mr_charles
"don't be a brat."
Angel's a brat. A lot.
in holy orders, by watercupx
"Mm-"
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23 notes - Posted September 10, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#i clearly post no original content#ALSO SORRY WHAT IS THAT LONGEST TAG#long post
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"you'll fucking deny that too but whatever. I don't like Mark P on my blog either but goddamn even he shows up to make sure I didn't finally blow his career up this month with blackmail and trust me that's the bottom of the barrel bullshit that streams through. Just waiting for you to just. wrap your grey matter around it. like yeah i blackmailed the FUCK out of Mark P and William Shatner why the fuck do you think they stayed out of blacklisttaw and even shut down TAW stans using MP's tags while they and taw were begging and tagging them for support from historykJDFSDJF rip i'm fuckin mark pellegrino b gon these days. shows up preaching capitalist jesus and I clear my throat behind my new icon and he fucking yeets lmfao"
so goob is now claiming various spn actors including jared know what he thinks of them and read his blog and they're afraid of him. and that he's been blackmailing mark p and william shatner. I think goob has completely lost his marbles now, holy shit.
"jesus christ. They're real. They're not tools of your narrative. And because they're real, they're complicated, and have real friendships and relationships between each other that you guys generally don't even understand you're pissing in the crosshairs of until you wipe out realizing robbie thompson and robert berens were talking about their fight in bed about changing it to star wars bed sheets and go. hm. maybe they like? might like each other?"
... and apparently now also claiming that straight, married to a woman robbie thompson and berens are fucking. And that's on top of his claims that he wrote and pitched the script and everything else behind The Winchesters.
sorry for the goob spam in your inbox, I just went on that person's blog to see for myself what all the drama was about and I've only read the most recent posts and I'm already flabbergasted.
**************************************
Yeah, this is exactly why I pay zero attention to Goob. I'd point out that in addition to being barely coherent, and mostly known for his previous biggest goose egg revolving around conspiracies Misha was totally cut from the finale even when he knew otherwise [X]? One of his first big claims way way back when was that Kripke stole the idea of being stalked by a YED from his real life. No, seriously [X].
This is how desperate hellers are. Someone who is at the very least pretending to have a tenuous grip on reality and delusions of personally being known by everyone involved with SPN and stalked by demons? Some of them really are so far gone they will still hang on his every word so long as he continues telling them that their ship is canon/going to be made canon.
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some folk around me really do have to understand, I listen and write the music I do not just because I vent through art rather than speaking, but also because I believe that music that is vulnerable and heavy is important. yes, for some it's triggering, but for people like me, it's reassuring that things get better. a reminder that through all the turmoil you'll experience through life, you'll still be there, swinging your arms to get through the day just to be able to hug a loved one again, to tell them you'll be there, or for them to say the same. it's important to share these thoughts and feelings, being able to talk about death and suicide is important, being able to face horrible shit in your life and come out of it saying "hey, I'm okay" to someone close is something that I feel many take for granted. maybe I'm speaking Directly Out Of My Ass, but we repress this kind of shit and refuse to think of it so much that it turns something beautiful into something painful. don't be sad you went through something, be happy you got out of it, that kind of shit. I'm not sad that my family members passed away, I'm happy that I'm my time knowing them, they passed down important insight and and stories, and I wouldn't be the person I am today without it. I'm happy that this chapter of their story is over, and if there really is something else out there, their story will continue. being able to express that in art is a magical thing and will stay as a reminder of how you've grown, and how you've pulled through. I'm probably preaching to the choir but fuckin still I gotta get this out of my head NOW
I'm tired it's 4am
#i'm super pretentious and corny i'm sure that's clear#but i feel you gotta appreciate life and let these dumbass thoughts out cause otherwise where are they gonna go#the world is full of joy and happiness and damn it i want everyone to see it#birbs rambles#wall of text#tw sui mention#tw death mention
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i am going to ramble about my experience w the bible people. because at the end of the day it felt pretty good. and no one got hurt n there was no real escalation. very good outcome
me n adrian n micheal were in the parade and very tired so we went to sit down at the festival and happened to sit where two guys were setting up to start reading from the bible. so when i heard them planning and then actually reading i got up and stood in front of the guy reading and held my trans flag up behind me to block view of him. adrian and micheal got up to help and then more people held up flags of their own. and i was playing music on my phone even though it didnt do much sound-wise. we sang along though, which was Very loud. the two guys moved around every so often and we moved with them to keep blocking. i was focusing on obscuring visual and being louder than them, but lots of other people would talk directly to them whether it was just yelling or actually disrupting their reading to start conversation/debate/whatever. you know the drill.
at one point the guy reading laid down on his fucking stomach. still reading. the other guy said it was because his back hurt. an absolutely bizarre image to behold. especially people passing us asdfghjkl. so yeah. lots of moving around. there were a couple-few people that stayed with us for most of the two hours we were there! i love them for that. the crowd around them actually got pretty big and those people that hold signs with "weird" bible rules showed up as well. i am not really a fan of that whole notion but their presence was very distracting. the more people the better.
my throat was already so fucking worn out from yelling song lyrics. and also barking. i kept barking the rest of the way through because its very easy to do continuously and its loud and distracting. i got told i was a "good barker" so i can die happy now
the police showed up either because they saw us themselves or people might have let them know. idk though. they were telling the bible guys to leave because the whole situation "could lead to assault on either side". which was technically true, im not gonna dispute that. was not a fan of 12 fucking cops in the middle of our crowd but they were working in our favor so i just stayed quiet. guy wouldnt leave so they cuffed him. so the bible guys were removed! thats cool! an overall victory and a very fun time when i wasnt actively trying to drown out homphobic preaching! 'cause then it was just a big hangout specifically of people who were down to harass assholes. so a good crowd yeah.
i was so fucking exhausted when they finally left though. i had just walked 1.4 miles to even get to the parade, which was another 1.1 mile walk. i walked 2 1/2 miles today. more than that because of some extra walking getting to and from our car. so i was extremely physically tired from walking in a lot of direct sun in over 80 degree weather. and then i spent two hours using a fuckton of mental and emotional energy while still tired and in pain from the parade. i am tired right now and i will definitely be feeling this tomorrow. but i had so much fun! i love pride so much! and i felt like i Really Did Something today because usually when christians show up to pride stuff theyre just standing there shouting and everyone passes them but i fucking blocked them out! because i didnt have anywhere else to be and could have stood there for even longer than two hours! i would have stayed there for the rest of the fuckin afternoon! so im feeling good about myself. and i think ive earned that lol
#posts#i keep making long posts about today but like! a lot happened! this didnt even mention much about the actual parade!#i mean there isnt much to say about that i guess. i walked with lambert house and followed micheal around while he handed out stickers#i felt so extremely gender.......... not much reason it was just bc of the environment. everyone seeing me knew on some level that i was#a trans man and it felt really good#and i was wearing funky collar things. i finally got to make my fashion dream come true of leash clipped to collar and then held in your#own hand!! i was also able to connect it to a belt loop so i didnt have to keep it on my wrist the whole time
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The fight between Wilbur and Tommy was a way for Wilbur to test if he’d truly gotten his message of violence as the only achievable means to get things done to Tommy. Because for all he calls them both bad people, he does believe that Tommy is good, and he’d been getting mixed messages that whole stream on Tommy’s thoughts on L’Manburg. He wants to see if someone still believes in it, because he himself has no clue what to believe. But he also wants to convince people, especially Tommy, that he’s right about the world. Immediately post-resurrection, though, he’s a mess. He’s trying to find himself a place in the SMP, (immediately aligning with Las Nevadas, then against it,) and he’s trying to see how his thoughts and ideals mesh with those in general.
He’s always sorta tested his ideals around Tommy, sometimes trying to teach him to agree, sometimes doubting himself and leaning on a ‘good’ person to see if he might be wrong. When it comes to violence as the only way of getting things done, The Pit was in part an attempt at this, (but also a lot of other things,) and so was wanting to blow up Tommy’s L’Manburg, probably. At the Disc War Finale, he asks Tommy how he won without killing Dream - questioning how he’d succeeded at something non-violently, seeing if Tommy still held on to those ideals he’d preached in early L’Manburg. And then,
Wilbur: I see you’ve abandoned my no armour policy since I’ve been gone.”
Tommy: “Yeah, well, you blew up L’Manburg.”
(Resurrected Gentleman, 15:30)
Tommy’s response in specific becomes important later, but this is a moment where Wilbur notices that Tommy is not following along with what he’d said in L’Manburg, for once. A moment where he thinks he has given up on the ideals of pacifism, instead of most other times where he hasn’t. And Tommy says it’s because of his actions. Curious.
After that, they have their conversation about L’Manburg, where Wilbur says he never cared about it. Tommy is obviously upset, and Wilbur backtracks somewhat, but this sends him a mixed message. Tommy no longer follows its rules, but he still cares about it. (Almost like himself.) They speak to Ranboo, Tommy calls him an asshole, Wilbur asks if he thinks he’s cocky - referencing an earlier Tommy quote, towards the beginning of the stream. Tommy escalates the situation, telling him he should be dead, and then:
Tommy: “D’you wanna fight? [punch] D’you wanna fuckin’ fight, then?”
Wilbur: “You wanna fight?” (I’m bad at describing tone, but it’s almost surprised? Very light, as though he’s almost not taking it seriously, but he definitely is.)
(Resurrected Gentleman, 35:45)
Tommy is actually the one to first propose a physical fight, and Wilbur is intrigued by this. As Tommy continues to berate him, he almost seems distracted, and even when Tommy tells him he should be a ghost, he doesn’t react, only lightly saying, “Okay, let’s fight.” He pushes it even as Tommy balks, because of course he didn’t actually want to fight, and so they do, with Wilbur being absolutely pathetic and losing in under five seconds. The whole time, they’re claiming that they’re fighting because “Wilbur is an asshole,” but given that Wilbur accepts that he is and still keeps pushing, it’s clear that it’s about more than that, at least to him.
Tommy: “I don’t care that this is the Holy Land, Wil, alright? Because for the first time, I will break that promise.”
Wilbur: “I appreciate that, Tommy. I appreciate that.”
(Resurrected Gentleman, 37:50)
and
Wilbur: “The fact that I’m alive, means that anything that happens along this line, I’ve won. I’ve already won. I won when I pressed that button. You can spar me as many times as you want for your own personal victories, but in the grand scheme of things, I’ve already won.”
(Resurrected Gentleman, 38:10)
Wilbur appreciates that Tommy specifically broke an oath of non-violence to fight him, and then goes into his speech about how Tommy may have won a fight, but he’s won overall. He’s won by making Tommy physically fight him in the first place.
He mentions the button. He won by getting rid of his country. He thinks he still managed to get rid of Tommy’s L’Manburg, get him to wear armour by having pressed the button (as Tommy said earlier in the stream,) get rid of any last vestige of those thoughts of pacifism. All along, he’s been trying to convince both himself and other people that violence is the only way to get things done. And Tommy, who he has pointed out does do things earlier in this stream, now fights him on one of the few places of safety to win an argument. Yes, Tommy won the battle, but Wilbur thinks he won ideologically.
He thinks he was right all along, and something managed to convince Tommy of this, whether himself, with the TNT, or something/someone else. It’s only after they talk with Quackity that he starts to waver and implies that maybe he wasn’t right about this. Because at the end of that first stream, he goes back to that book, and reads it, and seems pleased that Quackity said he was right. He sought him out. After he saw how Quackity was, he changed, slightly.
And of course, his and Tommy’s feelings are both more complicated than this: Tommy still actually does hold onto those ideals very dearly, and Wilbur does, on some level, wish to go back to them. He wanted to have destroyed it and any remnants of its influence, while still being excited that Tubbo and the others rebuilt it after his death. He misses it in the early days. But for that time, on that stream, Wilbur was certain he’d convinced Tommy that pacifism got you nowhere, and he was happy about it.
He thinks he has won, because he’s gotten Tommy to give up on L’Manburg’s “unachievable” ideals of words over weapons. That was why he goaded the fight: to see if Tommy would actually go through with it. And his victory was that he did.
#enderspeak#Wilbur Soot#Dream SMP#TommyInnit#Him suggesting weapons - the only thing I can think of is that a) he didn't care if he actually won the fight or not#and it's just his typical self-deprecation#or b) it's a way of tying it in to the ''power is won through blades. steel'' line
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HF for how Tommy feels on his daughters wedding day please
first half is headcanons and the second half is a lil blurb!
tommy is quite literally distraught
like that’s no exaggeration he is literally heart broken
his baby, his whole world was getting married
for the past 20 years, you had been tommy shelby’s whole world
you were born when tommy was only 17
not even an adult yet himself
so it felt as though you had been with him most of his life
it had kind of just been you and him, in a sense
of course there was the rest of the clan too, and you were incredibly close to them as well
but your mother died in childbirth, so tommy was both mum and dad
he had to do it all alone in that sense
everyone tells him he should be so proud of how he raised you
because you’re sweet and kind
and you have that humour that the war took from tommy
you made people laugh like he had
and you were really the only person that could make him laugh
you were strong, like your mother tommy had always said
but you credit everything you are to him
he was the first man to love you, and teach you how you should be loved
he also taught you how you should be treated, generally a lot better than the average father would
tommy made sure that his daughter would be treated like a queen
you were his princess
so whomever you were to marry, you would be treated as their queen
he made absolutely sure of that
and that marrying was your choice
not something you were coerced into for money or business, but something you wanted
and it was
with a man who you had loved since 16
tommy liked him as much as he could like the man that was going to be taking his baby girls hand and changing her name
the thought of you not being (y/n) shelby, tommy shelby’s little princess, was earth shattering to him
although you had insisted you were keeping it in the middle
alas, tommy knew you were so loved by that man
be that as it may, all parties knew if he stepped a foot out of line or raised a finger in anything but gentility and love
then he would be struck down in a timely and violent fashion by tommy himself
tommy definitely cries that day too
“Tommy?” Grace’s voice immediately draws his attention towards her and away from his thoughts about the impending fact his little girl was getting married in half an hour. His eyes are that kind of wet that shows he’s fighting tears, that he won’t dare let them fall. Grace can see the lump he tries to swallow in his throat and a piece of her heart breaks for him as she sits down on the bench next to him outside the hall where the ceremony would take place. You were inside getting the dress on and getting your hair done with Polly and Ada and previously Grace before she had come out to see if her husband was okay.
He was not.
“Oh Tommy,” Her voice is so soft and caring as she wraps her arm around him and rubs his shoulder, hugging him to her slightly. “She looks so beautiful Tom, and god she’s so happy; can’t stop smiling at all. She still has that smile you talk about, the innocent one and it looks just like yours does sometimes.” Tommy clenches his jaw tightly, still refusing to let those tears go. She sees him clamp down his teeth over his bottom lip to stop it trembling. “It’s alright Tommy, this is good. She’s in love with a man who loves her so much. Almost as much as you do.”
Tommy shakes his head at that, one hand on his knee to brace himself as he tries to speak. “Not possible.” He snips, “And i loved her first.”
His voice breaks on that. The lip finally trembles and he hangs his head with a sharp inhale to let free that shoulder shaking sob. “She was my little baby. How is that my little girl in there? She used to-” Tommy had to pause again, roughly wiping his hand over his face to clear away the tears as he looks up at Grace, “She used to be this big,” he gestures with his hands in a way that she imagined was meant to be him cradling a baby. His voice sounds drastically different than she’s used to because it’s clouded by his tears and his agony.
“She used to ask me to brush her teeth and comb her hair and lift her up to wash her hands,” he bleats, images flashing through his mind of that short little girl who couldn’t reach the bathroom sink. He sees the little girl who stood on top of the toilet so he could brush those teeth and he can see the smile that little girl gave him all those nights when he asked to see to make sure he had brushed them right. “She used to climb into my bed every morning and she used to save up her tooth fairy money to buy us all gifts. She’d save food from her dinner for the dogs on the street and i swear on my life i don’t know how to live without her being my baby girl, Grace.” Tears continue to stream down his cheeks as Grace notices the black and white photograph that looked truly as though it had been through the war; as it had. it was stained and slightly run and it was crumpled. A little girl with a toothless grin and Tommy Shelby’s eyes, even with the lack of colour to the old photograph.
“It’s alright Tommy,” Grace hums, rubbing her husbands back soothingly, “She’s your little girl, she always will be.” She knew there was really nothing else she could say that would ease his pain. There was nothing anyone could do or say that would send you back to the little girl he would could throw over his shoulder and run around the house with. There was nothing that could ease the pain of a fathers aching heart when his baby girl becomes a woman who doesn’t need him like she used to.
“Thomas?”
He and Grace look up at Polly. The look in her eyes speaks for her . “She’s ready?” Tommy asks, prompting his aunt to nod her head with a smile. “Come on then, Tom!” Arthur calls from the grand doorway at the top of the steps to the hall. When Tommy and Grace reach him, Arthur wraps his arm roughly around his brothers shoulder and pulls Tommy into him. “Baby (y/n) getting fuckin’ married eh? Can’t fuckin’ believes she’s this fuckin grown up.” He shakes his head, taking his arm away from his brother when they reach the door of the dressing room where you were waiting. “Beautiful she is, Tom.” Arthur says, “Looks just like mum. In you go.” He ushers his younger brother in that door.
Nobody sees Tommy Shelby quite like you do, and he’s happy for it to stay that way. He’s known it since you were a tiny little girl wrapped up in his arms. He doesn't love anyone like he loves you, so it makes full sense that you are the only person in the world who he allows his vulnerability to fully leak through with. Although, he probably couldn't prevent it even if he tried.
Maybe that’s why he doesn't fight so hard to keep his eyes from welling up when he sees you standing there looking in the mirror, donned in the most beautiful white wedding gown that he’s ever seen. Placed in his hand is the stunning light veil that he had picked out for you. The headband was something like a tiara, because you were his princess and he truly believed that everything you had should be the best the world could offer. The dress too had been extortionate and you would never have gotten it had you known the price it had come to, but Tommy had never allowed you to know. He simply had the designers bring an array of dresses to his estate where you tried them all on with Polly, Ada, Lizzie, Grace, Linda and Esme to comment and complement each dress, as well ad aide you on picking the one that suited you the most with cost never a mention. Tommy had preached he ‘no expense spared’ approach the whole way through the planning of the wedding and any timenhe caught you trying to cut or manage costs, he simply shut you down and enforced the rule that the wedding planner was no longer allowed to discuss prices with you.
He had truly created the most fantastical day for you, and he would have spent every single penny that he had if it meant giving you the most beautiful start to a new life that he could give.
You had wanted him to be the one to place that veil on your head with the guidance of your hair dresser to ensure he didn't mess up the design of your hair. He had been the one to place little plastic tiaras on your head when you were merely a little girl who wanted to play princess dress up. He used to be the one to comb back your hair and twirl you around that Watery Lane kitchen with Arthur did the same with Ada and Polly laughed heartily from her seat at the table.
It felt right to have him put a tiara on you one last time as baby Shelby.
“You’re beautiful.” He breathes, his lips stretching into a wide and incredibly proud smile. “So, so very beautiful my darling.” Your cheeks blush ever so slightly and you lean over to kiss his cheek. “Thank you, dad.”
He wants to hug you tightly and never let you go. He wants to will and wish you back to the little girl that he used to twirl around all afternoon. He missed that little girl so much. He had so much love in his heart for you, so much that it overwhelmed him every time he had tried to acknowledge it over the course of your life.
“I love you.” he says, his shaky voice conveying how much he actually means those words. “So much more than you can ever know. I’m going to miss you so much.”
You breathe a short laugh, shaking your head at him. “I’m not going anywhere, dad. I’ll still be seeing you all the time. I’ll just have a different name.” You hold his hand tightly in yours as he leads you out of the dressing room and into the hall towards the large double doors that would take you to the isle.
“Mhm,” he hums, “I suppose. You’ll understand what I mean someday. I just love you so much.”
“I love you too.”
“You two ready to go?” The wedding planner asks, watching as you turn to Tommy somewhat excitedly and nod. “You ready dad?” You ask, giving his had a reassuring squeeze. He sighs heavily, but nods his head too, removing his hand from yours and moving his arm so that you can link yours through his. His play on his mind before he says them, a small smile too playing on his lips as the nickname that he used to call you runs through his memory.
“Ready as I’ll ever be, my little love.”
#peaky blinders#tommy shelby x sister reader#tommy shelby x sister!reader#shelby sister#shelby sister reader#shelby!reader
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TBOBF ep 6 thoughts under the cut whooooosh
I feel like a LOT was squeezed into this episode. They just barely managed to make it all fit without feeling too overly squashed but it was close. We’re really more solidly into “this is The Mandalorian S 2.5” territory now, which we were told about before this show ever aired anyway so I’m not surprised.
(Though I’m not as upset about Boba’s spotlight being moved the last two eps as others are, I do agree it’s Not Great to have given the impression this far that this would be HIS SHOW ENTIRELY and then sideline him for Mando characters. At least we saw him for 5 seconds this ep though…)
Called seeing Cobb again! I’m two for two! It would be really shitty to finally fish that wish and then have him murdered. By Cad fuckin BANE. Whomst I know a lot of you bigger Star Wars fans probably loved seeing but I could have done without. We’re starting to get a little cameo heavy again which was one of Mando S2’s big issues imo.
Part of what made Mando so good (and what was also really good about TBOBF there at the start) was that it told an amazing story without relying on the credit an old familiar face would give it. Mando succeeded with brand new character Din Djarin at the helm because it was a well written and produced show and didn’t NEED name drops to keep it afloat. I’m worried tossing Cobb, Luke, Ahsoka, Grogu, Din, and now Bane into TBOBF is an overreaction to the negative feelings people were (rightfully) having over what happened to the Tuskans.
It’s either a distraction, a desperate grab for views, a misguided attempt at forgiveness, idk. But you don’t toss that many classic cameos into one random episode unless you’re feeling insecure about it’s standing. And it certainly doesn’t make up for the horrible writing decisions earlier in the series.
I did enjoy seeing Cobb and Grogu again and I do love Din being involved. But even with my overall positive view of last week and somewhat of this week’s ep, I do find it in bad taste that Din has been acting as the main character again in a show that isn’t his. As much as I love him, I think it would have been better to have him filling a supporting role, backing up Boba, (probably as he was meant to in this show, originally) than monopolize the screen time himself.
That’s probably more greed on D*sney’s part than anything else. They know Mando did well so let’s toss Din and Grogu into TBOBF so we can sell all that baby yoda merch again woooooo!!!
Anyway:
If Cobb Vanth is dead we riot
Luke (and Ahsoka) continues to be a dick for preaching emotional distance and then constantly trying to emotionally manipulate Grogu into choosing to become a Jedi instead of following the equally available and valid path of becoming a Mandalorian.
Did we need Cad Bane? Nah probably not.
A lot of this feels like it could have waited for Mando S3 which makes me think they want to tie up this plot by the end of this show so other things can be explored in Mando S3.
So why bother bringing in all these familiar faces and making it about them? Just seems weird. Especially when they take screen time from the person who’s show it actually is meant to be.
Looking at it now, I really wonder if something happened in the middle of filming or writing or at some point in the creative process because where we are now feels incredibly distant in almost every single way from where we were eps 1-3. Slapping Din and a bunch of his supporting cast in wouldn’t have been tough, seeing as how they wouldn’t even have needed Pedro Pascal to physically be there. What the hell happened? Possibly something to do with covid?
I still liked this ep. As long as I’m entertained, I consider things successful. Remember that this show was always meant to bridge the gap between the two Mando seasons, so it’s not out of the realm of possibility that this is just how the show will be from now on. And we only have 2 more episodes to go. It’s gotten me very excited to get back into The Mandalorian, which realistically was TBOBF’s purpose all along. I still would have liked to have gotten more Boba content out of it before this point, though.
Cobb better not be dead 👀🔪
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Past Memories - Isaiah Jesus
a/n: i found a tumblr filled with winter prompts and this was one of them :) wrote it really quickly lol. enjoy! also should i continue writing for him?
•••
You were back in Small Heath for the holidays, spending it with your family that lives there. You had moved away when you were eighteen, wanting nothing more than to do something with your life instead of be a barmaid or something. The only thing you missed about this town was your ex-boyfriend, Isaiah.
When you told him the news that you were moving to Liverpool, you obviously broke things off. It wasn’t going to be easy keeping up your relationship. Both of you were pretty sad, considering he was the only good thing that ever happened to you in your first eighteen years of living there.
Now that you were back, temporarily, you were hoping to run into him and chat with him for a while. And thankfully, finding him was quite easy.
Your parents were busy making Christmas dinner for tomorrow and you were bored at home, so you decided to head into the city to the Garrison. Tugging your coat around you, you step inside and feel the warmth and homely atmosphere, a feeling you still remember.
“Hi, one martini please,” you take a seat at the bar, smiling at the man. A few minutes pass before he hands you the glass. As you go to slide the money to him, a hand lays on yours and a separate set of money is given to the man.
“It’s on me.” Isaiah’s familiar voice rings in your ears and your heart starts to race. Turning your head, you gaze up at him with a smile. From the look on his face, he had no idea it was you at first. But now that he’s realized it, his eyes are wide and a huge smile is on his lips.
“(Y/N) (Y/L/N), well well well. Haven’t seen you in a few years. How have you been?” You take a small sip of your drink before responding.
“I’ve been good. Liverpool has treated me well, I’m very happy there.” Isaiah glances down at your hands, searching for any type of ring or sign that you were in a relationship.
“I don’t have a boyfriend or husband, if that’s what you’re searching for,” you tease, nudging him with your elbow. He laughs under his breath and takes a seat next to you.
“Well, you look amazing. It really has treated you nicely. You’re even more beautiful than I remember you.”
“Thank you, Is. You don’t look too bad yourself. Your head is shaved, though.” He runs his hand over his undercut.
“Yeah. I’ve joined the Peaky Blinders, so this is the standard haircut for everyone to set us apart.” You raise your eyebrows in suspicion.
“You’re a Peaky Blinder, eh?”
“Yeah. And it’s fucking great. Come see.” He holds out his hand for you to take, so picking your drink up, you do as he wishes and follow him further into the bar, towards the back. He unlocks the door to a private room and follows you inside.
“The great thing about this is the private rooms. I can use them whenever I please and have all the privacy I want,” he smiles, taking a seat on the booth. You chuckle and sit across from him, even though he really wants you to sit beside him.
“Anything else new, Mr. Peaky Blinder?” You tease.
“Nothing much. My dad’s still preaching, nothing else has changed, really.”
“No girlfriend?” You push, making Isaiah laugh.
“No, no girlfriend. Haven’t really had time to focus on relationships.”
“I find that hard to believe. Before we dated, you were quite the ladies man. You can’t tell me Isaiah Jesus hasn’t even had a girl with him for at least two months?” He bows his head, staring at his own drink.
“I mean, I’ve had one night stands and quickies with girls, but none have stood out to me.”
“Why’s that?” He gazes up at you, a serious expression on his face.
“They’re not you.” The conversation takes a serious turn as he admits this. You are taken aback, not having planned on him admitting his feelings for you still.
“We broke up five years ago. I haven’t come back since then. You still like me?”
“Love. I still love you,” he corrects. “And yes, I do. I did want to find a girlfriend because Tommy had Grace, John had Esme, Arthur, well, Arthur isn’t one to settle down, but he had girls all the time.”
“You felt like, to be a Peaky boy, you had to have a girl?”
“Yeah. I slept around so much, they got me whores sometimes, but I always thought of you.”
“Isaiah, it was so long ago. How have you not moved on? It wasn’t that serious of a relationship anyways?” This seems to upset him a bit. He stares at you for a few seconds, then shakes his head in disbelief.
“Because you captivated me the moment we met. Sure, it probably wasn’t that serious, and we were young, but I still loved you. Every waking moment I thought of you. Your touch, your body, the way it feels against mine. Imagining waking up to you every single day, kissing you, holding you. I longed for you. Not the touch of a woman or sex or kisses. I longed for YOUR touch, sex with YOU, kisses from YOU.” At this point, your heart was racing in your chest.
To be frank, you had also thought about Isaiah from time to time. But not so much that it ceased your ability to be with other men. You managed to find a nice boyfriend in the first year that you were there, but things didn’t turn out too well with that.
“Why didn’t you call or write then?” You murmur, so much emotion flowing through your body. You didn’t realize how much you actually missed being in his presence.
“I figured you left for a reason and didn’t want any contact or reminder of back home. So I left it alone.” You stand and move around the table to take a seat next to him, your hand reaching up to stroke the shaved part of his head.
“I missed you as well, Isaiah.” He smirks and moves closer, pulling your legs to rest on his lap. Your eyes immediately dart to his full lips. his teeth catching the bottom one, teasing you even more.
“Oh yeah? How ‘bout we recreate old memories? When we used to run off to the fields and make out for hours.” A smirk spreads across your face as well, recalling those days clearly.
“Fucking hell, I miss your lips,” you whisper before smashing your lips to his in a heated and needy kiss.
A soft moan escapes your lips and meshes with his own. Your hands cup his cheeks, keeping him close to you and feeling his soft skin underneath your touch.
“Shit, no girl I’ve had in the past compares to you,” he breathes out and pulls away for a moment to run his thumb over your bottom lip.
“I fucking love you,” you tell him, cheekily taking his thumb into your mouth, his eyes darkening at the act.
“You will be the fuckin’ death of me, love.”
#isaiah jesus#isaiah jesus imagines#isaiah jesus imagine#isaiah jesus x reader#peaky blinders#imagines#fanfiction#fanfic
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PLEASE WRITE KANKRI HITTING ON RUFIOH THROUGH AN ELABORATE THESIS ITD BE SO FUNNY
nonnie...i would be so honored. THIS ONES FOR YOU and all my like, five rufkri shippers out there.
basically kinda sorta more a love confession but ey its kinda flirty with wha he talks about.
also for some who need the helps: rufioh uses 1′s for i’s, kankri uses 6′s for B’s, and he uses 9′s for O’s -ye i’m adding this just incase, we all need reminders cause kankri’s can be a fucking headache of a quirk-
-COUGHS- my archiveofourown link to this fic -COUGHS-
_____________________________
your name is rufioh nitram and your taking a breath for yourself for once. you find yourself in a dream bubble you re-imagined as your old lost boy's location: tall blue and pink tree's with red cherry colored petals on them and littered at their tops various treehives connected via bridge's, stair cases, the gist.
you lay back on one of them that was your's, a big blocky one that has a couple windmills on top of it laying on the ledge that covered the top of your front door. kicking your leg absentmindedly as ol nostalgia rings through you, you barely get this kinda alone time but talk bout the advantage's of dream bubbles and damara's nice descendant escorting you.
until you hear the grass crunch from under you. you could just ignore it, finally steal some time for yourself but that’s not how your gears work; damn rogue bullcrap. you open your colorless eyes and move to look over your left where your sitting and spot a blob of red and feel a weird sense of relief.
its none other then your groupies lead spokesman kankri vantas walkin around trying to find you from how he keeps looking to his sides. kankri’s...something alright. sure everyone complains bout how much he babbles on bout half baked facts, preachy, pushy, an angry lil firecracker; actually maybe that’s why he’s so angry.
oddly though your not around alot for those, you’ll eyeroll at somethings but otherwise he’s pretty chill around you. bonus he’s celibate so you finally have someone who won’t try hitting on you every time you breathe in their direction. also your a mutant like him so mutant bro’s unite you’d think, it was cool finding you weren’t the only ‘cullbait’ of the gang honestly.
you go to get up and stretch your wings and back a bit. you may aswell make a sick entrance. you go run two steps and jump, your falling for a few seconds and it has your adrenaline pump before your wings pick up their flapping and have you flying downward slowly.
you saw kankri see you with near panic but pretty neutral look, dude barely had any sorta reactions but that was alright if it meant you could spot the teeniest moment he’d be thrown off as you land on the grass softly five steps away from him.
“9h.” he replies as you snicker. “pretty s1ck r1ght?”
“in y9ur ling9 yes 6ut i advice y9u t9 please try n9t t9 use it s9 l99sely especially ar9und th9se in medically unwell situati9ns.”
you rub behind your neck. “sorry. anyways wha’ up? pass1n by?” you notice a pile of papers in his arms, maybe he’s gonna go preaching to some of those new human ghosts maybe? your betting the dude with the pointy glasses will be a conflict to him if he does.
“9h n9 actually i came t9 find y9u.” he states and you perk up a bit. find you? “megid9′s descendant was kind en9ugh t9 esc9rt me here.” ah her, you really should’ve figured. you take a step or two closer lookin down to see him cause dude’s fuckin short. “yeah? uhhh alr1ght, well what’s up?”
he looks back to his papers almost, hesitant? kankri vantas nervous? tarnish the thought till he looks back up clearing his throat. “genetical uniqueness.” ...what? “what?” you ask as he continues. “genetical uniqueness in 9ne’s self is a kn9wn fact9r 9ne sees in an9ther that is a small step to a gr9wing infatuati9n in said individual whether it 6e aesthetical, physical or pers9nality wise.”
...you...you don’t know what’s going on. is he giving a lecture? seminar? on genetics? oh gog messiah’s dangit kankri may be your boy as you’ve called him before (not around him you know better) but man there’s only so much of him you can chill with until it starts getting to well, this point. you don’t stop him though cause kankri vantas never stops until he’s finished.
“s9me f9rms 9f genetical uniqueness c9uld c9me fr9m all 9f th9se and m9re. f9r example, an unc9mm9n s9cietal genetic that while n9t unc9mm9n can 6e seen as a f9rm of interest to s9me9ne and unique. whether freckles, hatchmarks or, wings perhaps.” your wings flap at that.
“9f c9urse t9 t9uch 9n the first three f9rms 9f attraction i mentioned if y9u d9n’t mind my reference 6ack t9 the su6jects at hand, an aesthetical attracti9n t9 certain f9rms 9f attire and style that differ’s fr9m 9ne’s 9wn can 6e an9ther. 9f c9urse this is entirely su6jective as n9 indivudals are the same 9n this manner h9wever 9pp9site’s attract seem t9 have m9re likelih99d t9 find 69nds in a multitude 9f ways. examples 9f this kind 9f su6ject is perhaps a rebel-esque design that c9rrelates t9 s9me a resistance t9 a c9nf9rma6le s9ciety with it’s 9wn strict regulati9ns and laws. s9mething like rigid and ripped attire 9r sharp disc9l9red hair c9uld 6e examples that 9ne wh9 while n9t p9ssibly sharing th9se designs with them finds inspiring t9 l99k t9.”
you look at your ripped jeans and vest. you...kinda still dont know what he’s going on about, but you keep listening.
“the sec9nd aspect, physical is 9n a similar subjectivity as while 9ne finds a physical aspect 9f s9me9ne attractive an9ther will n9t. h9wever physical attracti9n inv9lves s9me f9rm 9f the 9ther individuals 69dy they deem as p9tentiality t9 perhaps engage in a quadranted arrangement with said individual whether h9rns, fangs, a smile that gives a pleasant crease to their facial structure, their 69dy language when shy 9r excited, perhaps even height as acc9unta6le as studies sh9w a pred9minant interest in a taller partner for feelings of pr9tecti9n, sta6ility, 9r an9ther f9rm 9f 9pp9site’s attracting if the 9ther party isn’t their perceived interest’s 9wn height.”
you rub the back of your neck...nervously. your not dumb your getting some serious implications. you don’t wanna believe them, nah no way kankri’s celibate maybe he’s talking bout someone else? alotta their team has nice smiles and taller then him or dress ‘rebelistic’ as he calls it.
“lastly there’s attraction to pers9nality. m9st w9uld like a pers9nality they find in s9me f9rm similar t9 their 9wn t9 gain n9t 9nly m9re in c9mm9n t9 create a 69nd 6ut als9 as a starting part f9r c9mm9nality t9 make it easier t9 take the necessary steps. s9me h9wever may find attracti9n t9 a pers9nality that differs fr9m their 9wn. why is dependa6le 9n certain pers9nal aspects but m9st are 9ut of jeal9usy f9r seeing s9me9ne they are n9t, 9r perhaps admirati9n t9 have what they have 6ut cann9t 9r are una6le t9 yet due t9 their 9wn pers9nal reas9ns and s9 they try finding a partner wh9 has s9me 9f th9se aspects they cann9t harness. n9t in a c9ntr9lling way mind y9u n9r t9 use them 6ut due t9 a f9rm 9f admirati9n and interest.”
you nod as he perks up. “ah, ap9l9gies h9wever menti9ning quadrants earlier. they have a varying r9le in these f9rms 9f attracti9n 6ut i failed t9 reitterate this 6eing m9re 9pen t9 interpretati9n 9n any f9rm 9f quadrants i’m referring t9 as many 9f these examples in this thesis can 6e f9r any quadrant. als9 ap9l9gies f9r the menti9n 9f this su6ject due t9 y9ur recent 6reak fr9m y9ur matesprit i didn’t mean f9r any kind 9f harm t9 y9u 9n it.”
“nah 1t’s okay 1 get 1t. 1′m f1ne.”
he nods going back to his papers, least it looks like he’s almost done. “thank y9u. n9w where was i? right. n9w many examples 9f pers9nality attracti9n vary fr9m pers9n t9 pers9n 6ut i shall use a hyp9thetical and keep in mind it’s 9nly hyp9thetical. perhaps s9me9ne is rather una6le to s9cialize with any f9rm 9f 9ther parties due t9 varying 9pp9site interests or 9stracizati9n fr9m said gr9up. perhaps they meet s9me9ne wh9, perhaps shares s9me f9rm 9f genetical uniqueness t9 them, perhaps als9 having similar experiences t9 what their shared s9ciety 9r even different s9cieties share similarities t9. b9th gr9w and act very differently due t9 h9w they react and are raised in said s9ciatal climate. while the first hyp9thetical partner gr9ws t9 6e m9re f9refr9nt and 9pen t9 their 9wn th9ughts that s9me find c9ntr9versial the sec9nd partner is pers9nally flexible with an exteri9r design and m9re positive pers9nality s9me find m9re likely t9 fl9ck t9 them m9re.”
he’s hiding behind his papers but you swear you saw those cheeks turning a tint of red. your blushing too but you don’t know if its the same as his. your pumpbiscuit is beating hard but you don’t know if its infatuation or anxiety.
“perhaps, when the first pers9n sees this they find themselves just as infatuated to make themself kn9wn t9 this pers9n due t9 their 9pen relia6ility. perhaps they als9 feel a f9rm 9f jeal9usy that they are unable t9 have the same people-friendly exteri9r t9 them and, wish they had that ability t9 d9 s9. may6e the 9ther seems, at least t9 the first individual, 9pen t9 them and what they have t9 say 9r are fine with spending time with them that has the first individual to sl9wly c9me t9 terms with their 9wn feelings 9n this pers9n. even, s9 far as t9 admit even with their 9wn pers9nal views 9f themselves and their 9wn 6eliefs, they may find them, expenda6le t9wards this individual.”
okay no the beating is anxiety now, this is WAY too much you see it all now and your...scared. your really scared now. he sighs and clears his throat again. “in c9nclusi9n i 6elieve these f9ur fact9r’s are likely c9mp9nants t9 6uild a f9rm 9f r9mantic attracti9n 9ne may find in an9ther. s9, what did y9u think 9f it?”
your horrified, your rubbing your arm nervously and trying to put on a smile for him. “1t’s...pretty good yeah. real conv1nc1ng.” you feel like such a douchebag right now getting nervous. your recent break with horrus was, okay shitty to say, but it was nice having a break from romance.
you know you know that’s really shitty, but you feel the need to put all you can in it and you get drained and can’t keep going sometimes. its like the break charges you up so then your back to giving him your all and it repeats. it sucks, but he loves you and you feel even more douchy at the idea of telling him you can’t do it anymore, ever, after yanking his chain for this long.
you...don’t want that for kankri. your at a 50% charge right now on romancing least flushed wise, you never tried the other quad’s before. what if he wants flushed? you can’t do that you’d lose him if you pulled what you do to horrus on him cause you really kinda, don’t know how to stop or talk about it.
even then you don’t even know if your both broken up for good or what, you could end up with him again and then it’d be a damara situation and you don’t want kankri to be your next damara he keeps grudges way longer then her (which your surprised she tolerates you enough even with her grudge but you digress).
even then all he talked about felt, surface level. like everyone’s crush’s on you; except meenah which guess this means she’s the only one never to flirt with you now. damn it. still though he doesn’t even really know you, sure he could learn but, do you really want him to? learn about how much of a fraud you are? how all this is an act and you honestly have no fucking clue why anyone likes you? how you can’t be your own troll? gog he’d be so disappointed he goes on about trolls equalizing and needing their own rights to be their own troll but you can’t do that; not even for him probably.
point is: your shit at flushed and you don’t want kankri involved. you wanna give him those free feelings your classpect is supposed to do. hard part is, how’re you gonna let him down?
before you can think further he speaks up. “i’m glad y9u think s9. y9ur an excellent listener rufi9h i d9 genuinely appreciate it.” you see a twitch at the end of his lip and it pains you the fact he almost smiled. “perhaps we can have m9re 9f these meetups next time?” he asks taking a step to leave.
your surprised but kinda relieved too, least he’s not asking you out, but then again he’s also coming back sometime. meaning he might get more and more confident to actually pop the question your not ready to burst his bubble with your response with yet.
you smile though and wave at him. “ahah, sure sure 1′ll be here for 1t. or, we can meetup here?” he nods moving to look away as he walks off. “i will make n9te 9f that f9r 9ur next c9nversati9n. take care nitram.” he states, you watch as he gets more distant and vanishes in the forest.
you sigh long and relieved and go to fly back to your spot, moving to lay down on it though as you let it all soak in. your rufioh nitram and you just got flirted with by the kankri celibate vantas himself.
#homestuck#hs#home stuck#fanfiction#rufkri#rufioh x kankri#kankri x rufioh#rufioh nitram x kankri vantas#kankri vantas x rufioh nitram#i made this
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One thing that people doesn't always get about the name Albus Severus is that it's not only Harry who named his son, Ginny was ok with the name, so she has also aknowledge Snape's bravery and the fact that he has saved saved a lot of students.
god you’re really preaching to the choir here dude. i feel like every single person who whines about albus severus’s name is a) forgetting that harry, more than anyone, is not actually snape’s biggest fan and b) that ginny is not a doormat.
a) matters because they somehow seem to think that all it takes for harry to forgive and “forget” about snape is that snape loved lily. and they really parse that down into “snape loved my mom therefore he was good” which isn’t really harry’s thought process. if he really did think snape was good bc of lily, he could have said as much to albus severus, you know? or it would have come up in that conversation. harry has no reason to like or trust snape and pretending that he could be so easily swayed seems mightily out of character for him. he’s not a character who changes his mind about people easily! that’s one of his defining characteristics! saying that it’s as simple as harry seeing that snape loved his mom (and for a lot of people, they simplify it even further into the murky waters of “snape just wanted to fuck lily” which is not really true & not really something we the reader can even make a case for) and then just doing a complete 180 on his character is full of bullshit. harry would have named albus severus what he did even if snape had loved someone else. the point was not that snape loved harry’s mom, specifically - it was a plot point to explain why snape cared about harry at all. the point was always that snape loving someone, caring enough about someone to change sides, and then all the continuous work he does as a spy that changes harry’s mind. harry respects courage - that’s why snape is one of the bravest men he knew and not just that guy who loved his mom.
and b) matters bc people pretend that harry is out here naming his kids by himself! hello, it’s a two-person process and ginny has proven more than once that she can push back against harry’s bullshit. she is not just some doormat meekly accepting the names harry gives her, you know! and yes, all of their kids are named after dead loved ones of harry’s - but that’s probably bc harry just has that many more dead loved ones, y’all. ginny does have fred but we already know that george names his kid after fred so like... my thought is likely that in the family it was probably agreed that george would get “dibs” on that name. and i think ginny is compassionate and kind enough to recognize why harry might want to name his kids after all of these lost loved ones. i don’t think anyone who looks at that as “well harry just named his kids and ginny had to put up with it” is reading their dynamic correctly. i do think they had a conversation about it and i think harry made his case. ginny’s feelings about her kids’ names are obviously a mystery but we can try to make a headcanon based on what we know of her character and there’s zero characterizations i’ve ever seen that can paint the fandom picture of the long-suffering wife who’s just putting up with her husband’s terrible name choices.
look. albus severus was obviously a polarizing name choice but i maintain that it is actually very in character for harry to choose that name, that that name has way less to do with dumbledore and snape’s actions as people (both good and terrible!) and more to do with harry’s ultimate choice to forgive them and to honor them bc he knows that he is probably the only person who really can. and harry choosing to do that is very much a harry potter thing to do - and having that speech and having him speak on behalf of the bravery of slytherins is a great full-circle move for his character that just would not land with any other slytherin character... bc we really haven’t seen him shift his worldview so entirely for any other slytherin character. like that scene does not land if albus severus is actually named albus regulus bc harry had no fuckin personal connection with regulus. and the point of the scene is to reassure albus severus about getting sorted into slytherin and to show harry’s growth as a person since that 11yo who begged not to be sorted there and honestly i just wish people would think critically about fiction for like 2s!!! for my peace of mind!!
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jidai’s budget mutuals/friends appreciation
Hi, all! I’m quite late with this but I decided to put a small friends and mutual appreciations post in hopes of brightening up the end of this year a little bit. ❤️ If you were tagged, please make sure to check below for a small little message from me. However, I want to make it very clear that I truly appreciate all of my mutuals. You guys brighten up my dash and always reblog or create so many funny and creative posts. I just wanted to give a few special shout outs to those that have taken out the time to reach out and interacted with me past my ask box or we just see each other often.
The messages are ordered by your URL, so you might have to scroll for awhile before you see your messages. I’m so sorry lmao.
Happy New Years, everyone!
@25th, Nonnie, the Young Genius.
bro, remind me how old you are 🧍♀️ Like my brain CANNOT fathom the thought that you’re so skilled at SO many things and you’re not even in your twenties??? PLEASE SPARE THE TALENT. i will even accept crumbs. But I’m writing to tell you that you are such a wonderful presence on my dash. I always look forward to your gfx. They’re so SO good and you’re improving from one post to another. Like WOW. Now, you’re even starting an art blog, too? You’re so dedicated to the arts. I respect that a lot. Your hard work and commitment will bring you very far in life, whatever you decide to do.
I love interacting with you. You’re such a big sweetheart and full of positivity and energy. I look forward to seeing more of your art and gfx ❤️
@biscuitwalk, Dann, the AK Wiz.
Dann, I know you’re not as active on here so idk when or if you will ever read this but I want to say that I miss you and your creations so, so much. I will say it a hundred times over and OVER but you inspire me so goddamn much. You have no fucking idea. Your works are absolutely gorgeous and unique. I can look at it once and I can instantly recognize your style (and your cute lil’ pufferfish <3). The way you utilize colors and implement various techniques, shapes, textures into your work. Goddamn, you’re so good. I always look to your work if I ever need inspiration and they help me brainstorm. God, I wish I could put it into words how much I adore your works.
We didn’t really talk for long but you seemed like such a kind and fun person to be around. I wish you the best in your future endeavors, wherever you are. Stay safe <3
@elriccs, Mirai, the Short King.
🧍♀️ ok look I know, I know I’m TERRIBLE at replying to you and I’m so fucking sorry. I absolutely love to talk to you but my dumbass cannot seem to reply in a timely manner LASELKSAL. That’s on me and I gotta do better. Anyways!!! Thank you SO fucking much for always leaving such kind messages on my work. I swear to god you’re one of my biggest hype man and I ALWAYS look forward to reading your tags. They’re so funny and it makes me all tingly and happy inside. Bro, like, you just radiate big fun vibes, bro. I really hope that I can get to know you better so I can just insult you until it’s too late to walk away </3
And of course, let me also remind you that I love your works so much. They way that you utilize your textures and those muted colors... OOMPH *chefs kiss* I will always love--
@lockhvrts, Em the Soulsborne GOD.
hi em 🥺 it’s been awhile since I’ve had a proper conversation with you and I hope you’re doing okay! I miss you and our conversations where we do nothing but geek out and complain about the game industry lmao. if you manage to read this, I just wanted to let you know I miss your presence here. It’s been kinda dull not seeing your beautiful soulsborne gifs and your game rants. Let’s catch up soon. <3 stay safe and well!
@nathanprescutt, Benn, the Man.
BENNNNNNNN. I love you a lot bro. I know we haven’t had long conversations for some time and I hope I can change that! You were my first friend on this blog and I will always appreciate it. I remember us just geeking out over your works and how I would always send you a gfx request like once a week LMAO. The one thing that I have always appreciated about you was the fact that you’re very opinionated (if not, very vocal on your stance on things) and you hold your ground. There were a few time where you encouraged me to speak on topics that I think I shouldn’t and that stuck with me for quite awhile. I’m still a nervous rambling mess when it comes to debates but just know that the one time you supported me to voice my opinion--I hold it very dear to my heart.
While I don’t spend much time together, I will always remember our animal crossing session. It was so much fun just trashing and chilling on your island. Especially the bar :( that bar was fucking AMAZING. Maybe once FFXVI comes out, we can geek out hehe
Also, thank you so much for sending in photos of all your doggos, omg. I miss seeing them so much I hope they’re doing well. Stay hot, my German bro lol. Ich bin sehr dankbar, so eine tolle Freundin zu haben. ❤️❤️❤️
@noxdivina, Lin the Big Dick Daddy Kind.
The church is open for business bitch and I’m here to preach the GOSPEL.
Okay, jokes aside, I’m really happy that we became mutuals. You’ve always give off this like, mysterious cosmic vibe (????? huh). And your selfies just further proves that you are wtf. But you’re always so kind to those that you interact with. You’re an absolutely sweetheart and like I just want to give you a giant hug every time we interact. You’re such a soft human being. It’s so nice being around you. It’s like being tossed in the oven and baked at 250 degrees F for 25 minutes. And to boot you’re really talented, hello? God really said let there be a perfect human being and yeeted you into the universe. Thank you for always leaving such kind messages and words in my DM/askbox/works. I cherish them so much. I hope I can get to know you better in the future bc you’re rad, bro <3
anyways, updated drawing of u and maya:
i always assume you’re in a black fur parka 24/7 and maya is coatless neck down. also deck me with those jacked arms of yours thanks 🧍♀️
(edit: fuck i forgot to draw a PARTY HAT ON MAYA IM SORRY)
@rokuseis, Sei, the Dumber.
i have nothing to say to you go away you banana hater ASELKSAEKL
BITCH, you doo bee getting on my nerve 24/7/365 🧍♀️ you were an unexpected but a very welcomed addition to my life. I can’t believe we really went 1 fuckin’ year without speaking to each other and then suddenly our friendship blew up because over a stupid BANANA. Now you gotta deal with me and my stupid, random, crude ass messages daily. I cannot. Clown to clown communication. But thank you so much bitch for being there for me and telling all of these funny ass stories and life experiences.
I know I don’t say it a lot because when we talk it’s literally just dogs barking at each other but I want to make it clear now: I love your humor and vibe so much. You never fail to make me laugh anytime I talk to you and I appreciate it so much. I can’t tell you how many times I felt better after talking to you. Even though sometimes your fucking jab hits hard and I end up actually inSULTED BY IT. But thank you for becoming my friend and I look forward to all of our stupid moments together. Looking forward to shitting in your sink when I finally fly to your home <3
@wolfamongthem, Anna, the Grinch. Please don’t hurt me for that title. I'm just saying if someone needs a live casting, it’ll be u. Anyways, did you know that I was so fucking intimidated by you for a long ass time, even before we became mutuals aseljas LMAO. I always see your gifs around on explore and they’re so gorgeous and then I look at your text posts and it’s u roasting people like there’s no tomorrow- 🧍♀️ bitch I was SCARED OF U KSKS. Now that I’ve talked to you a few times, you’re really funny like where do you find those reaction memes????? Like bro you and your shitposts is my morning cup of coffee.
Anyways, in 2021 I expect a full-fledge review of all AAA games from you-- no more shit talking in the tags let it all out BITCH. Thank you for being such a great mutual! I look forward to see what weird shit you will send me the next time we talk lmao
@zenien, Selm, the I’m-gay-for-Lady-Maria-or-anything-that-moves-in-BB-Bitch™.
ok bitch if I’m being honest I wrote yours last so my brain is FRIED. so everything i say from here is raw from the HEARt cause that’s all I got left. But anyhow, we savin’ the best for last! honestly, i didn’t expect you to barge into my life like that. i really didn’t. i was just gonna keep admiring with my 7 feet (2.1336 meters) pole. I’m glad you made the first move because look where we are wtf 🧍♀️ friends??? I wouldn’t believe you if you told me that in 2014 when I first followed you lmao.
You’re such a kind soul. I know you may disagree but I’m determined to convince you. I can’t tell you how much I want to thank you for taking the time to talk to me during my rough bits. It’s like sitting on a wooden bench in a park during sunset and you sit next to me, just enjoying the vast sky. You radiate such peaceful energy. It’s very calming. Or you know, 2 seconds later i’m suddenly suplexed by your 40 tons of insults like what--
Thank you for everything, so far. Truly. It’s been so fun listening to you talk about your Bloodborne journey and see your reactions live. It’s been so fun to see you post your graphics and it continues to blow me away. It’s been so fun hearing about your life and the stories of your adulthood. Every words that we have exchanged, I hold dearly to my heart--more than you ever know. Love u bitch.
#for mutuals#mutuals don't ask about your titles i was being quirky LMAO#this took so long so i hope it works properly sksks#it hasn't been proofread so enjoy the mess
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Non Omis Moriar [2]
Fandom: Avengers
Pairing: Tony Stark & Son!Reader
Summary: Not all of you shall die, so it’s all or none.
Word Count: 3,762
A/n: ANGST ANGST, I hope this makes sense plot line. Also, I apologise for like basically writing the plot out again, you get the gist. Part one here!
“That’s not how time travel works,” You responded dryly.
Your eyes on your new suit as Scott tries to grab your attention, but you give him no consideration. He sighs as he watches you rewire your suit, stats on the screen for you.
“In Layman's terms, it means you're not coming home,” You continued as you sighed, put your tools down and looked at Scott.
“I did.”
“No, you accidentally survived. It's a billion to one cosmic fluke,” You responded, sighing, “Look, Scott, as much as I want to believe, this whole time heist is laughable, it’s a pipedream.”
“You have to be optimistic, (Y/n).”
You looked behind Scott and see Bruce, glowering over the two of you at the Avengers base, specifically in your dad’s lab. Bruce smiles at you as you shake your head, scoffing.
“Bruce, I’m not the one to preach about optimism, that’s Steve’s sort of rodeo but what have you been doing for the past year? You’ve lost to Thanos both times in both forms - look at you.”
“But, I’m willing to do something if it means we can save people, I know it’s not you or your thing to save people, but we’re the only people left. Remember what Natasha always says?”
“Whatever it takes.” Sighing, you shake your head, “I can’t, Bruce, I’m sorry.”
Bruce nods, leaving as Scott sends you one last look but as he watches you play with the screens of the stats of your suit - he leaves you be. A year had passed since the snap and all you’ve been doing is fixing Avengers’ equipment, updating the little things as you don’t have their suit.
Isolating yourself.
You made your own suit, the one you and your dad made was hard for you to work on because you made it with your dad. It’s didn’t feel right for you to work on something you and your dad made.
Within the year, you’ve been taking medication for sleep too. Nightmares of the time on Titans kept you all night and when you’re sleep deprived the voice and vision of your dad appears. No matter how much you want to see your dad, you were not going insane.
Within the year, the bond between you and Bruce had become strained, you don’t call him uncle anymore, not out of malice, but a family doesn’t seem complete anymore in your heart.
“I’m blaming Strange,” You muttered to yourself.
“Sir, you’re talking to yourself again.”
“It’s okay, Fri,” You reassured, smiling to yourself.
Friday has been ultra protective you, she may be an AI but in a sense, she was like your sister as Tony created her. Protecting her big brother from losing himself. Friday lost Tony, Pepper, Rhodey. She was not going to lose you in any circumstances.
“Hey, Fri?”
“Yes?”
“New project,” You called out as you watched Bruce and Scott figure something out across the building.
Glass walls work wonders, you move your suit to the side and Friday brings up a new slate of holograms for you to mess around.
“Hey, kid,” You hear your dad’s voice next to you, you could sense him probably leaning against the table to examine what you’re up to, “What are you doing?”
“Sir, what is this new project?”
You looked off to the distance as you smile to yourself, a mirror across the way. You looked at yourself and the hallucination of your dad next to you, you look too much alike. Same snarky smile of pure happiness and a confident stance.
“Thanos knows Stark men, he invaded my dreams since I was a child and corrupted my dad’s mind, if Strange says I’m needed then I’ll damn well avenge my father.”
“Hey,”
You jumped at the sudden voice of your dad in your ear, rubbing your eyes out of sleep as you realised that you’ve been sleeping in the lab,
“What day is it?”
“You’ve been passed out for two days sir, you fell asleep the moment you sat down, you haven’t even started your new project.”
“Way for a dramatic flair,” You commented as the AI buzzed in amusement, “What’s going on with shorty and Professor Green?”
“I believe they are ninety per cent in finishing what you have called time-heist.”
You nodded, “I’ll start it after I get food.”
When you had returned back to base Bruce and Scott was nowhere to find as you sat down and got to work. You didn’t know how long you were in the lab for as you reclined in the chair, groaning, your head hurts.
“By the looks of Scott and Bruce out there, Scott turned into a baby?”
Friday didn’t respond as she pulls up the video of Scott and Bruce wild attempt of time travel, as you chuckle as they were entertaining, you shake your head. your shoulders tensing. Getting back to work into the nightfall.
“Look at a mod inspiration, let me see what check out. So, recommend one last sim before we pack it in for the night. This time, in the shape of a Mobius strip, inverted, please.
”Processing...”
Friday was processing as you wandered around the lab, kicking a soccer ball into the glass walls, you could hear your dad scowling at you for leaving ball prints on the clean glass.
“Give me that eigenvalue. That, particle factoring, and a spectral decomp. Gotta take a second.”
“Just a moment.”
“And don't worry if it doesn't pan out. I'm just kinda-” You were interrupted by Friday.
“Model rendered.”
In a complete shock of amazement, the render comes back as successful. You smacked the ball so hard into the glass that it bounced back into your face, but you didn’t care because you were too bewildered by this discovery.
“Holy fuckin’ shit,” You breathed, then laughing in joy, opening the door of the lab, “Bruce, Scott!”
They peaked out, seeing a stupid grin on your face, Bruce couldn’t help but smile. It’s been a while since you smiled like that, it’s been a while since you got excited over something.
“Call Nebs, we’re doing a time heist...”
“Aw hell yeah!” Scott celebrated.
Bruce looks over to you, watching smile to yourself, you glanced up and did a small nod to his way.
“I’ll make suits, it’ll be the four of us and we need a test run, Scott, you’re up for it?”
“Hell yeah, I am,”
“Okay, so the "how" works. Now we gotta figure out the when and the where.” Bruce speaks as he looks at the three remaining people of heroes.
“That’s easy,” Bruce looks at you with a raised eyebrow, “With all data collected throughout the almost ten years you guys have been Avengers, it has the location of most Infinity stones.”
You looked at the blank face of the green giant, you scoffed as Bruce shakes his head, “I’m confused.”
“Am I seriously the only one who reads the paperwork after your missions and I’m not even part of the team, man.”
“Well... You and your dad are very much alike,” Bruce offers weakly as you pulled a face.
“Anyway...”
As you started your rambling with Bruce trying to write everything down despite Friday recalling your words and putting on the hologram, two stones were talked about by Nebula, after a short silence of awkwardness as she mentions that her sister was murdered by their dad, Thanos. You, Nebula, Bruce and Scott examine the screens.
The holograms displaying the different location, the Soul and Power stones in space in 2014. the Reality stone in Asgard, 2013; and the Space, Mind, and Time stones in New York City 2012.
“Bruce, Scott, you two will go to New York City, Nebula and I will go to Asgard and space,” You initiated s they all nodded.
You never thought you would come to a point that you were a leader, in fact, you hated taking responsibility, you hated leading stuff and people looking up to you for direction - it was too much greatness upon your shoulders in your eyes.
“Don’t fuck it up,” You narrowed your eyes, “I mean it-”
“Yes, sir-” Scott says as you looked at him weirdly, “I mean, Mr Stark, er, no, (Y/n).”
As you suit up, you stare at the old suit that you built with your dad, packing it up into a compressed case and held it together on the transporter. Nebula and Scott give you funny looks but you decided to ignore it.
“Alright, simple in and out mission,” you called out one last time, “Whatever it takes.”
“You know, to obtain the soul stone you have to sacrifice something, Nebula came back with you,” Bruce says as you looked at him annoyed as you tried to assemble a gauntlet.
“The suit, dad and I made together,” You responded, you shoulders deflating, “Technically, it’s last thing I have of him, not the lab, not his tools, not even Friday. Scrap metal of memories left of my dad. I have nothing left of him. I need my dad back, even if it’s the last thing I do.”
Bruce nods, “Carol hasn’t responded to your messages.”
“It’s fine, I’ve been updating her anyway,”
“You talk to her?”
“She’s a good listener,” You shrugged your shoulder, “Even if I’m talking to her through a hologram. Now, uncle Bruce, silence would be nice.”
Bruce opened his mouth before shutting it closed when you give him a pointed look, you cast your eyes towards the gauntlet again as you picked up the stones gently. With nervous precision, you manipulate the machine and carefully places all six stones into the gauntlet.
“Alright, the glove is ready, the question is who will wear it and bring everyone back?” Bring the iron man like gauntlet out to show to Scott and Bruce, “Where’s Nebula?”
“Toilet?”
“Androids can go to the toilet?” You asked Scott, tilting your head at the man who answered your question.
“It’s 2019 man, anything is possible.”
You gave it some consideration as you agreed as you looked at the two men, you placed the gauntlet down on the table to suit up for any accident, your new suit is something you’ve been working on a few months, full of your ideas and ideas that you found from your dad’s blueprints of your old suit.
“I’ll do it,” Bruce calls out as Scott and you looked up at the half man half hulk, “But the radiation's mostly gamma,” He takes a good look at the gauntlet, “It's like...uh...I was made for this.”
You nod as you helped Bruce place the gauntlet on, watching the metal adjust to the size of his big hand. Scott and you took a few steps back as Bruce lets out a shaky breath.
“You remember... everyone Thanos snapped away a year ago and just bringing them back to now, today. Don't change anything from the last year.”
“Got it.”
“Hey, Friday, do me a favour and activate dad’s Protocol 8,” You called out as the facility goes down into lockdown.
You bring your mask down of your metal suit as you watch Scott do the same thing. Bruce starts to bring his thoughts into what he wants, electricity running through, Bruce was grunting in pain. You wince to see him in pain.
“Uncle Bruce?”
“I’m good!” Bruce managed to spit out, “I’m okay!”
Bruce screams, fighting through the intense pain coursing through his body courtesy of the gauntlet, and manages to snap his fingers. He faints and the gauntlet slides off his arm. You kick the gauntlet away as you and Scott looked over the giant.
“Brucie?” You asked, your mask coming down as you cooled down his burnt arm.
“Did I do it?”
Scott looks outside, it was brighter and birds were chirping, Bruce managed to open his eyes and see your smiling face.
“The grass is always greener on the other side,” You say as Scott laughs, looking relieved.
You looked over to Scott with a smile, hoping you’ve completed what you wanted to do, hoping you have your dad back as you looked back at Banner, a smile had fallen off his lips. Looking up the skyline and seeing the Sanctuary II up in the sky and a single missile heading towards the base blowing away Scott away. Then a continuous array of missiles destroys the base completely.
“Sir?”
You groaned at the voice of Friday, you get up to your feet and see Thanos sitting by. You breathed heavily, your suit covered in ash and dirt.
“Bruce, Scott?” You called out to your comm, it felt funny for you to be participating in hero action as you were not a hero yourself.
“We have the gauntlet,” Scott calls out, he sounds drowned out, “We’re underground but we can make it out.”
“Keep that damn thing away from Thanos,” You growled.
Your suit whirling, tightening. You breathed heavily, it all or nothing. You started to make your way down there, Thanos smirking as he recognised you when he has been invading your dreams as a little boy.
“You could not live with your own failure. And where did that bring you? Back to me. I thought by eliminating half of life, the other half would thrive. But you’ve shown me that’s impossible. And as long as there are those that remember what was, there will always be those that are unable to accept what can be. They will resist.”
You rolled your eyes at his monologue, “Yeah, we’re all types of stubborn.”
“I'm thankful. Because now, I know what I must do.” He stands up, “I will shred this universe down to its last atom. And then...With the stones you've collected for me, create a new one. Teeming with life, but knows not what it has lost but only what it has been given. A grateful universe.”
You put your mask up as he placed his helmet on, “As long as I’m alive, I’ll be damned.”
“I’ve admired you, (Y/n) Stark, from your pretty little dreams, I find a lot of interesting information about you. You are courageous, I commend you for that. But, unfortunately, as much I would love to keep you around, I can’t have you stand in the way.”
“Tough.”
You weren’t a skilled fighter, but you knew the basic of the Iron Man suits. You were able to hold him back off, and in fact, you were surprising yourself in how well you were fighting a Titan.
Smacking you into debris as you stumble to stand up, using energy to blast Thanos before he gives you one last kick to the ground. Spitting blood into your suit as you pant, struggling to get onto your feet.
“In all my years of conquest...violence...slaughter... It was never personal. But I'll tell you now... what I'm about to do to your stubborn, annoying little planet... I'm gonna enjoy it. Very, very much.”
Thanos’ entire army is summoned to the ground which includes the Children of Thanos, Chitauri, Outriders. Upon seeing the army descending on Earth, you straighten your back with a fierce determination, you allowed your suit to self-repair and stand against Thanos' giant army alone. Suddenly, a crackling comes in on his communicator.
AC/DC blaring in your ear.
“Hey, kid!”
You stopped, now is not the time to have a hallucination of your dad.
“Kid? You hear me? Sonny boy?” The playful tease of your dad called into your ear. “(Y/n), incoming!”
You pulled down your mask in confusion as you looked around, seeing a yellow portal open up at your left. Three members walk out with two flying above. The original team. Your dad landing on your right with Cap on your left. Natasha on Steve’s left whilst Thor stood on a rock behind you with Clint comes next to your dad.
Another portal opens up, three figures step through; Okoye, Shuri, and Black Panther, fully restored and ready to fight with Sam zooms in from above in his Falcon armour.
Dozens of more portals opening up all around the battlefield. Through one of these, we see Doctor Strange descend in. He is joined by Drax, Mantis, Star-Lord, and Spider-Man.
Everyone watches in confusion and awe as more and more heroes arrive from all corners of the universe, all backed up with forces of their own including Black Panther and his Wakandan army, Valkyrie and the Asgardians, Wong and the Masters of the Mystic Arts and several Ravager ships.
Amongst the throngs of heroes, we see Bucky, War Machine, Rocket, Groot, the Scarlet Witch, the Wasp, and Pepper Potts (clad in her own iron suit) arrive. Nearly every hero has magically been transported to the battlefield to face Thanos' hordes.
“Please, say I’m not hallucinating,” You muttered to yourself, but Tony puts a hand on your shoulder.
“You’re sane, (Y/n).”
You huffed out a burst of laughter, Tony smiles missing your smile and laughter, “Scott? Bruce?”
Giant-Man emerges from the rubble of the Avengers facility with Professor Hulk. The Avengers, Guardians, Wakandans, Asgardians, and Ravagers take up battle positions. The heroes standing across Thanos' forces.
“Your call, kid,” Steve says to you, patting your shoulder, he figured that you were taking lead.
You pulled your mask up, taking your stance as your side looking at the other side. Thanos makes a fist of fury, angry at the outcome. You saved people, you brought them back, you were not letting them go.
“Avengers Assemble!”
“That thing needs to go back where it belongs!” You shouted in the midst of the fighting, Scott had dropped the gauntlet and with Clint, “He might have broken the quantum tunnel but we need another time machine!”
“The van!” Scott calls out as your team hears you groan.
“Anyone see an ugly brown van anywhere?” You yelled, punching one enemy away from you.
Valkyrie answers back it’s whereabouts as Cint passed the gauntlet over to T’Challa, who was far quicker than Clint.
“Hey kid,” Tony greets, pausing in his fighting to lift his mask up, you do the same.
“Dad,” You breathed out, embracing him into a hug, “I’ve missed you,”
“I missed you too, bud,” Tony sighs happily, kissing your cheek, “I love you son.”
“I love you too dad.”
The gauntlet managed to get into Peter’s grasp as he flew on the back of Valkyrie's Pegasus. Wanda keeping Thanos preoccupied as the cannons of the ship starts aiming towards the battlefield before it all turned up to the sky.
“What’s going on?” Steve calls out.
“Friday, what are they firing at?” You hear your dad through the communication, as you paused your blasting, looking up to the sky.
“Something just entered the upper atmosphere,” Friday replied.
You smirked, “Hey Carol!”
Captain Marvel flies through the ship, and it results in an explosion and the ship crash-landing in the lake, she hovers over and waves at you.
“Hey, little guy,”
“We need an assist here, Carol!”
As Carol makes her way to the van, you, Tony and Peper form a hovering triangle, blasting in each angel as you spin in a circle, having your back faced to each other. You, Tony and Steve all head over to where Carol was. She flies through all of them easily and reaches Thanos. She keeps punching him, but he knocks her to the ground, wears the gauntlet and tries to snap. But Captain Marvel arises again and stops his fingers from snapping.
Thanos headbutts her, but it does nothing.
Thanos pulls the Power Stone out of the Gauntlet and uses it in his free hand to hit Captain Marvel away, then puts the stone back into the Gauntlet.
“(Y/n)!” You turn to see Strange with a questioning look, “You’re needed!”
Strange simply raise one finger, reminding you that the one win over Thanos he foresaw is now at risk. You breathed heavily, everything sounded muted out as you watch the team you grew up and admired struggle. You could hear in the background Steve shouting orders as well as your dad.
You just got your dad back, and yet you were easily going to make the decision that he will live. You nod and attack Thanos, pulling on the Gauntlet before Thanos punches you away.
“(Y/n)!” Tony shouts in desperation at the attack.
You were on your knees, back straight as you looked at the Titan King, “I am the new beginning.”
Thanos snaps his fingers, but nothing happens except a metallic "clink." He sees the Infinity Stones are missing. You have the stones on your own gauntlet, to Thanos' shock
“I think not.”
You snap your fingers with a loud "CLANG" and a blinding flash of white. Rocket fires at a Leviathan and before it devours him, it crumbles into ash. The Black Order starts crumbling to ash. T'Challa and Quill look around in surprise; Steve looks on in exhaustion, knowing that they won.
Thanos, in horror, looks around and sees his entire army disintegrate. He looks at Steve, who just stares at him. Thanos sits down and mourns before slowly being erased from existence himself.
Tony snaps his head over to you, your metal suit releases you from inside as you crumble down onto the floor.
“Kid? Buddy? (Y/n)?” Tony frantically calls out as he gets out of his own suit.
He runs up to you, pulling you into his arms. Your breathing is shallow and your right side is completely destroyed as he clutches you tight in desperation. Pepper, Rhodey and Peter all fly over to you.
“Come on, (Y/n), you’re gonna make it,” Tony’s voice cracked, crumbled, tears forming and staining his cheeks.
“My sweet boy,” Pepper coos, fixing your hair as tears were building up in everyone eyes.
Peter gasping, unable to breathe, he found a family, a brother who would tease him and love him no matter what, fading quickly. Rhodey looking at his godson, Tony was not a religious man but they all pray for a God now.
“I did....” You croaked out, you stare at your dad, “it for you, dad...”
“You’ve done me proud, you always make me proud,” Tony chokes, pulling you closer, allowing you to rest your head on his shoulder, your face buried into his neck, “I love you.”
He could see your mouth move, but nothing seems to come out but he hears one last thing, Tony Stark breaks down. He gets you back, you did it for him, only for him to hear your last breath.
Not all of you shall die, Tony decides, your legacy will continue.
#tony stark#tony stark imagine#tony stark x male!reader#platonic#Avengers#avenger imagines#avengers imagine#x male reader#angst
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i know there is and will continue to be a lot of controversy about the hate crime scene, so if you don’t want to read this post because you won’t agree with me criticizing it, then don’t read it, don’t clown on it, just don’t interact and move on with your day, i’m not taking names and hunting people down for their opinions especially when i do not personally know most of you.
obligatory statement: i’m not cis, not het, not white. do not be a bigot on this post :)
i remember very clearly the night that clip dropped + literally spending the next 2 or 3 days scrolling through the tag to read every single post in there to gather all of the opinions that i could find, everything from people who had been following the season from the very first second of the first episode, to people who were only casual viewers, who had not offered commentary before that point and only came out to share their opinions after the enormous shock wave that clip generated throughout the fandom. i don’t even think that sander running out of the hotel in episode 8 caused nearly as much of an uproar, mostly because the majority of us knew that was coming (though i do remember the outrage that we didn’t see robbe find him until it was past midnight, which is also completely understandable).
over those next few days and the following weeks, i saw the full spectrum of opinions continue to expand as more and more people gradually processed what they had seen and began to come to their own conclusions about it, especially those, like mine, with many layers of conflicting emotions. some even shared their own stories that were deeply personal and brave and heart-wrenching and hope-giving. what was pretty universal, however, was that no one saw the hate crime coming. it wasn’t in og, it hasn’t been done in any other remake, there was no hint or warning whatsoever that it was imminent. i know part of that is probably the production thinking that was an appropriate way to show how something like that can unfold in real life. do i agree with how that decision was made? ultimately, no. i’m sure that plenty of you also share that opinion to some extent. i’m sure that many of you also excuse, turn a blind eye to, or even defend the hate crime’s necessity and importance. i’ve said before that it’s not a black-and-white situation and i continue to stand by that. i also stand by the opinion that the writers handled the execution poorly even if they had good intentions. intention ≠ impact. there should have been a trigger warning. there should have been a better and more assertive resolution in the following episodes, like there was for zoë’s season (which was very well done and makes me confused why they didn’t give robbe the same treatment but i digress)
“but iT’S REALISTIC—” yes, it’s realistic that gay people experience violence for being gay. no one is denying that this stuff happens. but the aftermath of the incident, which robbe discussed only briefly twice with milan (and senne, but robbe never told him the full truth of what happened) and then was not addressed further, even when it was at some points clearly mirroring zoë’s struggle with testifying against viktor? that was not realistic. i recognize the very real possibility that they are going to drag the assault into s4 to show how robbe’s storyline impacts however they’ve written yasmina’s arc, but whatever they have planned for her honestly terrifies me to no end because we have never had an adequate sana season that does the muslim main justice. i am including og in this, for those of you who have not seen it. i’m sure that many of you who have seen skamfr s4 and druck s4 agree with me. it goes without saying that i believe they should have addressed the assault before robbe’s season actually ended in order to minimize the amount of interference that he would cause in yasmina’s season. don’t mistake this as me hating on robbe; he is one of my favorite isaks hands down. i can simultaneously love his character and hate what the writers did with him.
“but wiLLEM SAID—” first of all, if you yourself are straight and you are pulling willem’s words from the article to defend your opinion, i want you to step back from the situation and examine the details a little further. willem herbots, for all the speculation that has gone on, has now stated outright with no ambiguity that he is straight. i do not deny his talent as an actor; anyone who follows and reads my tags knows that i have many times before praised his skill in portraying robbe as intimately as he did in s3. but the hard pill to swallow for a lot of you is that by being straight, he lacks the inherent nuance that only personal experiences and struggles with sexual identity can bring to a character whose arc literally revolves around internalized homophobia and coming out. no amount of research can help him understand robbe’s character the way a gay actor would. and to be clear, this is not a moral condemnation against him; i’m not blaming willem for being straight, which is a wild thing to have to state lmao but you never know with tumblr. i do harbor the same sort of apprehension that i harbor towards any straight actor who plays gay roles regardless of their reasoning behind it (most of it falls somewhere along the lines of “i wanted to challenge myself” which honestly is such bullshit to me). but, to my knowledge, we have never had a single male isak who was played by an actor who is lgbt+ irl (i’m not counting skamesp because lucas doesn’t fit the original mold since he’s both isak and eskild, sorry if you have a problem with that), so i’m not exactly surprised that wtfock hasn’t broken that mold. saying all that, i do think he is incredibly sensitive and compassionate for his age and amount of experience, and it is rare to see someone answer questions with the kind of sincerity that comes through even in what appears to me is a fluff piece that is meant to please readers rather than present the most objective truths.
i will link a post here that pretty succinctly sums up my view on what willem stated about the hate crime and about how this interview happened in the first place, but something that i did notice that no one afaik has talked about: notice how willem uses I-statements to answer literally every single question in the interview up until he’s asked about the assault, where he slips almost too obviously into the royal “we” that is often characteristic of pre-fabricated answers: “The only moment we really showed... but we really wanted to show the harsh reality of being out... it’s not something we wanted to ignore in WtFOCK.” in the same paragraph, he uses “we” 3 times, where at no point before he had done so. of course, it’s possible that he did say it at other points and those sentences simply didn’t make the final cut for the article, but i still think it’s pretty telling that all of his other answers are so grounded in his personal, individual thoughts and experiences, but that specific response is so stilted and formal it’s almost awkward. it’s very likely that he was regurgitating an answer that was fed to him from higher up, precisely because the production knew from fan responses that it would come up in any self-respecting interviewer’s questions. these are very basic PR procedures within the industry; willem, at the end of the day, is a paid actor on a show that is still in production and is bound very tightly by his contract. do not expect at any point that what he states about wtfock is fully his own opinion, as whatever he says will reflect on the show’s reputation. this is also, more importantly, why you cannot automatically associate the words and actions of a production with the words and actions of its actors; i seriously doubt that willem h or any of the other cast members personally agree with everything the show has done, but i can tell you with absolute certainty that they are contract-bound to not share their full opinions while the show is still in production. he nor any of the other actors wouldn’t be allowed to criticize writing decisions even if they wanted to. finally, please note that i am in no way trying to lessen the impact of willem answering this question in this way, fabricated or not; i am only trying to present all the facts as objectively as i can because i’ve seen 50 posts today worshipping him for giving answers that likely did not come from his own actual brain. i am asking for a little of the same objectivity in return from you all.
finishing on a personal-ish sidenote: but i have never been more aware than in this moment how completely at odds the druck and wtfock fandoms are, like i knew during the run of robbe’s season, from some replies i was getting on posts and anons in my inbox, that it seems impossible to some people that people can like (and criticize) both shows. but now in the wake of this article, it really goes to show that both sides are ready at a moment’s notice to fight each other over matters that do not need to be fought about. we can all just talk through things and try to see each other’s perspectives and, sometimes, yes, agree to disagree. for a show that preaches “everything is love” left and right, certain people really do not seem to take that message to heart. just to be clear, im not saying that you should lie down and take people’s bullshit, but i am saying that we should hear each other out more instead of jumping to conclusions based on thirdhand information.
in conclusion: no show/film/book/other form of media is perfect and we should be allowed to bring attention to their problematic aspects without being accused of blindly hating on the aforementioned medium overall.
tl;dr criticism ≠ hate, take what willem said with a grain of salt, the assault scene is not black and white, im fuckin exhausted
#wtfock#wtfock cast#willem herbots#i was gonna put this under a read more but i need yall to read this whole thing lmao#also if there are weird mistakes or jumps it's bc i jumped around from bullet to bullet writing this and only read through it once#there are also things that i did not include here bc i thought they would be called ~drastic~ but if u wanna dm me or something#trust me i have More Opinions
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