#also onion rings and coffee...? what is he doing
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𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐓
"i'll be there for you" universe masterlist
pairing: bestfriend!roommate!steve harrington x fem!reader
word count: 1.8k words
warnings: explicit language, a lil bit of angst w/ a wholesome ending<3
summary: in which you and steve take a late-night trip to your favorite diner
general note: everything in this universe/series can be read as standalone oneshots but to understand the full “lore” it would prob be best to read the other stuff too<333
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Fall 1985
It was four long hours of your life that you’d never get back. But, you were glad that all of the work that you had to force yourself to do all night was finally over.
It was somehow always in moments like these— where you procrastinated until the last possible second to do something that had been assigned weeks ago— that you sincerely wanted to drop out of college; and you’d barely even been there three months. But you also knew that you definitely could not do that because of your parents.
So, instead of even pondering that thought too much, you pushed through and forced yourself to start and finish a project for your Psychology class that involved a shit ton of writing and research. It was a project that now made your head pound heavily in your skull from focusing on that one tedious thing for hours upon hours.
With a loud sigh, you closed the books you had open and then stood up from your desk. A part of you wanted to immediately flop onto your bed and fall asleep, but then there was the other part that wanted to do something else entirely. And then suddenly the thought of the diner that was only ten minutes away and had amazing milkshakes became the only thing on your mind.
You switched out of the wrinkly old t-shirt you had on and put on a different oversized one that was less wrinkled, and then slipped on a pair of sweatpants. Steve was sleeping right then, you were pretty certain of it, but you still wanted to give him the opportunity to partake in this impulsive late-night decision you were making. So, when you exited your room, you headed toward his and walked in.
You refrained from turning on the light because you didn’t want to startle him awake, and instead simply sat down on the edge of his bed and lightly poked his back before whispering, “Hey.”
He only shifted a little bit and didn’t turn to face you. “Hm?”
“I just finished my stupid fucking midterm project for Psych and I’m going to the diner because I’m in dire need of a strawberry milkshake. You wanna come?”
“It’s one in the morning,” He mumbled, still barely moving and you weren’t entirely sure how he was actually able to be so accurate with what time it was.
You took his response as his way of saying no without actually saying it. And honestly, you weren’t too surprised by that answer because it was then that you remembered that his shift at Family Video earlier had been longer, and apparently more annoying, than usual. So, you decided not to try and further convince him to come to the diner with you.
“Okay, I’ll be back in an hour,” You said as you got up from his bed. “I’ll bring you back onion rings and your own milkshake. You can have it for breakfast when you wake up.”
“I’ll come,” Steve said before you left the room. He finally shifted around and sat up so that he was facing you. “The onion rings will suck in the morning.”
“Very true,” You nodded and then smiled as he got up and found a random hoodie to put on. “I’m sorry for waking you up, but I’m glad you’re joining me on this little adventure.”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
You drove Steve’s car, because you liked driving it more than your own, and he slept the entire ten-minute ride to the diner formally known as “Third Street.” The name had always been somewhat amusing to you because the small place was actually on a street called Cliffview.
It was empty aside from one man sitting at the counter with a coffee mug in his hand and a woman occupying a booth, reading a book with a soda and a plate of fries in front of her. You briefly wondered what their stories were, what brought them to a diner at nearly one-thirty in the morning.
You and Steve took your usual seats at the booth that you always sat at, and even though Robin and Eddie weren’t there at that moment, you two still decided to sit on the same side of the booth; it felt like second nature to do so. There was probably never a moment where you and Steve didn’t sit on the same side of any booth.
Since there was barely anyone in the diner right then, your orders were quickly taken by your waitress Cheryl, and they came out much faster too— a strawberry milkshake for you, a vanilla one for Steve, and a plate of onion rings for you two to share.
You took a long sip of your drink and internally sighed in contentment because somehow that milkshake made all the work you’d done and the fact that you were keeping yourself awake to come here even though you were exhausted completely worth it.
The two of you ate and drank your milkshakes in comfortable silence for a little while before Steve scooched down a bit in the seat and leaned his head on your shoulder.
“I actually am really sorry for waking you up,” You told him. “I forgot how long your shift was today, and I know you’re so fucking tired right now.”
“The onion rings and milkshake make it okay,” He mumbled, and you couldn’t see him, but you had the strongest feeling that his eyes were closed. “Tell me about your project.”
You reached for your drink, taking a sip from it before responding. “Hearing about that will definitely put you to sleep.”
Steve hummed. “Maybe I wanna hear a bedtime story.”
You laughed a bit. “Okay, well in that case, definitely not because I don’t wanna get dirty looks from the other people in here when you start loudly snoring.”
“I don’t snore.”
“Mhm, yeah, of course, you don’t,” You said, the sarcasm completely evident in your tone, and he poked your side which made you laugh again.
You placed your hands in the pocket of the hoodie he was wearing because they were cold from you holding your glass. “Okay, this has nothing to do with that dumb project… But, um, how mad do you think my parents would be if I dropped out of school?”
Steve’s answer came immediately. “They would blame me somehow and kill me.”
“That would quite literally never happen,” You said with a shake of your head. “My parents love you too much to be mad at you for longer than even an hour.”
“Okay, yeah, maybe that’s true. So, instead, they’d actually kill you, and then that would suck more for me than you because I’d have to live without you.”
“I think I’ll take that as a compliment,” You said with a small laugh before grabbing an onion ring.
“But, anyway, you’re not quitting school, so this hypothetical situation doesn’t matter,” Steve told you and then lifted his head off of your shoulder so that he could take a quick sip of his milkshake. “You were barely able to convince them that you didn’t want to go to the University of Chicago. I think they’re still somewhat in mourning over that.”
Probably from the moment you became old enough to even think about college, your parents were pushing the idea of the University of Chicago onto you. Both of them had gone so it felt like the obvious choice for you to “follow in their footsteps;” well, the obvious choice mainly in their eyes. And for a while, you were okay with going in that direction because it felt like an easy option, and you were way too fucking smart not to get in, and when January rolled around you found out that you did.
But then the thought of leaving Indiana, leaving your friends, leaving Steve, became something that no longer felt “okay” to you. And then there was the fact that you were still completely unsure what you even wanted to do, so it felt dumb to you to go to a school that was really good and really expensive without a solid “plan” for your future.
However, your parents were way too persistent and strong-willed to let you give it up that easily. So the compromise that was ultimately settled upon was that you’d do the two years of community college here at the one close by and then you’d transfer to the University of Chicago and finish your last two years there.
At first, the thought of that felt fine to you, but now it felt like something that you weren’t sure if you actually wanted to do anymore, even though it was still basically two years away.
“Sometimes it just feels like a waste of time,” You said with a small sigh. “I still haven’t found that thing yet. My thing. What I wanna do.”
“You’ll find it.”
“Maybe it would be a good thing if I did quit, though. I could work at Family Video with you and Robin. Wouldn’t that be fun?”
“Yeah, it would be,” Steve nodded. “But, you don’t really wanna do that.”
You started picking at the now half-eaten plate of onion rings that sat between you two. “Technically, that’s true. But, that’s only because I don’t know what I wanna do at all.”
“I think you just gotta give it some time. You’re way too smart not to be in college right now. One day you’ll walk into some class and it will all just suddenly click into place for you,” He told you, and he sounded so certain and sure.
Somehow his encouraging words always managed to placate your thoughts; the type of existential thoughts that would usually only happen in the middle of the night. And you were glad that you had Steve to pull you back up before you spiraled harder.
You let his words sit for a second before you slipped out of the booth and went over to the counter, smiling at Cheryl as you paid the bill. When you went back, settling in your spot next to Steve, he slung an arm around your shoulders.
“If you did actually quit school, I’d fully take the blame and let your parents kill me,” He told you.
You knew that you weren’t going to do it; you’d never be able to muster up the courage to pull the trigger. Therefore, you would instead just continue to live in this awkward phase that felt weird at times and hope that it would eventually work itself out.
However, it was still nice to hear Steve’s words right then.
“Thank you,” You responded, smiling at him and then mimicking his words from earlier. “But if you did that, then I would be the one suffering more because I’d have to live without you.”
He nodded thoughtfully at that. “Okay, new plan then. We just let them murder both of us.”
You laughed a bit as you pushed yourself even closer to him, putting your hands into his hoodie pocket once again. “Deal.”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
let me know ur thoughts<333
(requests are open for stuff you wanna see in the universe/series!🫶🏾)
#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington fic#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington smut#steve harrington x you#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington x fem!reader#stranger things fluff#steve harrington series#steve harrington headcanon#steve harrington imagines#steve harrington x reader smut#steve harrington angst#steve harrington thoughts#stranger things fic#stranger things series
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Hii there love <3 I hope you’re doing well!
Would you mind please writing a drabble in the Elementary-verse where Reader surprises Joel and Sarah (and even Tommy as well, if you’d like!) with a homemade meal for dinner one night? Now that Reader was assured by Joel that it was more than okay for her to do something like this, I feel like she definitely would and it’d be super sweet 🥺💞 Thank you for being so amazing <3
Winter Break
pairing: pre-outbreak!joel x f!reader (Elementary-verse)
rating: F (just more fluff, alcohol consumption i guess, maybe some suggestive stuff but nothing explicit at all) as always, not proofread and written on an edible :)
wc: 2k (this got away from me)
series masterlist | joel masterlist
The winter had gotten to all of you, the school year wearing you down along with Sarah as she finished her first semester as a high schooler. Joel and Tommy had it just as bad—having to work outside in the wettest Texas winter you’d ever seen since moving here. More often than not, Joel would come hobbling into the house after he got off work well past dark, only having the energy to call in some take-out for the three of you. He usually ended up falling asleep on the sofa before the food ever arrived.
But tonight marked the start of winter break, and the start of Joel’s vacation days he was in desperate need of. You wanted to celebrate getting through such a rough month with a home cooked meal—not the first you ever made, but certainly the first in a while.
When Sarah got out of school, the two of you drove over to the supermarket to do some shopping. You didn’t want any of you to have to leave the house this winter break, so on top of the usual snacks and frozen junk food Joel kept his fridge stocked with, you also carefully planned dinner for tonight.
“Ooo, vegetables. Been a while since I had those,” Sarah joked, forcing a laugh out of you as you knew it was sadly true.
“Gonna make a roast tonight,” you informed with a smile. “Figured we should probably eat something other than takeout and frozen pizza.”
“Dad’s gonna be excited…long as he can manage to stay awake through dinner. Dad fell asleep on the way to school this morning.” You gasped and watched her nod. “Yeah, good thing Uncle Tommy was driving. Otherwise—“
“Jesus,” you sighed and shook your head. “I’m gonna lock your father up and force him to sleep for like two days straight starting tomorrow.”
“I don’t need sleep like y’all,” Sarah impersonated her father, pulling another laugh out of you. “I’m a big, strong, man. I don’t need sleep or water or vegetables or anythin’ else most humans need to survive. All I need’s a cup of black coffee and I’ll be alright.”
“That was so good, I got chills.”
Back at home, you got to work on dinner. Sarah attempted to help you out, but you lovingly forced her to relax, instructing her to turn on the TV, kick her feet up and just chill while you handled things. But, the fifteen-year old was stubborn like her father and refused, instead choosing to sit at the kitchen table and finish her upcoming project due the week after school recommenced. As a teacher, you wanted to applaud her for her work ethic, but as her future step-mother, you wanted to pluck her pen from her hand and break it, forcing her to do what every other teenager in the world was doing tonight—nothing.
When it was clear she was going to spend her break her own way, you left her to it, focusing on chopping the potatoes, onions, and carrots—omitting celery as Sarah hated it and reminded you of that fact as you reached for a stalk at the grocery store. As you slid the potatoes in a pot to parboil, your cellphone started to ring on the counter.
“It’s dad,” Sarah announced, peeking at the caller ID.
“Can you get it?”
“Yeah,” Sarah nodded and flipped open the phone. “Hey dad.”
You continued on with dinner as they spoke, the phone call not lasting more than a couple minutes.
“Dad said Uncle Tommy is coming over tonight,” she relayed before getting back to her work.
“Good thing I bought the fattest roast in the store,” you spoke through strain as you lifted the roast from it’s packaging to sit in the middle of a metal roasting pan.
“God,” she chuckled at the size. “And you know what? I bet even with all of that, there’ll still be no leftovers by the time dad and Uncle Tommy get through with it.”
The boys entered the house the way the always did, bickering and graceless, their mud and cement covered work books kicked off by the door as they walked in through the garage.
“I’m just sayin’,” Tommy continued whatever conversation they had going on as they walked into the kitchen. Joel sidled up next to you at the stove, his hand rubbing the small of your back as he pressed a kiss to your temple.
“Yeah, but I’m tellin’ you,” Joel spoke to his brother but physically remained focused on you and your cooking. “If we can’t get the electrical guys to show up on time, we’re gonna be in some shit. And I know they’re your buddies and all, but this is my goddamn business, Tommy. I can’t keep hand in’ out favors only to get shitty, half-assed work in return.”
“I know,” he sighed and nodded. “I’ll talk to ‘em tomorrow.”
“What’s all this?” Joel mumbled against your temple as he gave you another kiss there, finally greeting you with his voice.
“Thought we were due for a real dinner,” you mumbled back, melting into his side even though he smelled of hard labor and dirt. “There’s a roast in the oven. Should be ready in about twenty minutes. Oh, and there’s beer in the fridge.”
“My god,” Joel gave your hip a squeeze and kissed your cheek. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Damn right you don’t,” Tommy agreed as he appeared on your other side to peek at the food. “How long do I gotta sit in torture?”
“20 minutes,” you replied through a chuckle. “There’s beer in the fridge to distract yourself with in the meantime.”
“Joel, if you don’t marry her, I will.”
“Shut up and go sit down,” Joel ordered, tightening his hold on you. “Gotta keep my eye on him, might try stealin’ you away.”
“I promise you, there’s no chance of that,” you assured. “I’m happy where I’m at.”
“Yeah?” he asked, smiling at you. You turned your head to nod at him, your eyes naturally falling to his lips. “Me too.”
Dinner was alright. The meat could have been a bit more tender and the carrots needed longer, but you seemed to be the only one who noticed. All three Millers tore into dinner until, as Sarah predicted, there were no leftovers.
Now, Tommy laid sprawled out on the couch, his jeans unbuttoned, one hand over his full stomach, the other wrapped around a beer. Sarah sat with him on the other end of the sofa, kicking his feet away any time he tried to rest them near her. Joel looked to be in a similar condition as his brother, sitting back in a dining chair with both hands rubbing over his stomach, his eyes on you as you scraped your plate clean over the trash can.
“Don’t do the dishes,” he commanded, knowing you much too well. You shot him a smile and shook your head.
“It’ll just take fifteen minutes,” you promised, but it didn’t satisfy him. He stood, bones cracking as he walked to stand behind you at the sink. His hands moved from your hips to your hold your wrist. Slowly, he pulled up the sleeves of your sweater one arm at a time, his warmth pressing into you from behind.
“You wash, I’ll dry,” he whispered into your ear, pressing a kiss there before backing away to stand beside you. “How was your last day before break?”
“Surprisingly very calm,” you replied, as you started on the pile of dishes in the sink. “Think everyone’s just excited to get a break. Speaking of, Sarah told me about your nap on the way to school this morning.”
“Oh, hell—just dozed off, it’s nothin. Not everybody needs ten hours of sleep a night to function—“ Your laughter cut him off. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing.” He shot you a persistent look. “Sarah thought you’d say something like that.”
“She tried to do my voice, didn’t she?” he asked, making you laugh. “It ain’t a great impersonation.”
“I thought it was pretty good.” Joel smiled and accepted the freshly scrubbed plate from your hand with a playful tug.
“You look good tonight, baby,” he spoke quieter, just for you to hear. You felt your stomach tingle with affection at the sound of his low voice—the voice only you got to hear.
“Yeah?” you questioned with a smirk. Joel grinned and nodded in eager confirmation. “You’re just happy because you’ve got a full belly.”
“Dinner was delicious, by the way,” he continued, not detailed by your inability to receive a compliment. “Think one look at Tommy will prove it.”
Your heard turned to the other side to watch as Tommy snored on the sofa.
“Guess he’s staying the night,” you turned to Joel. “I should go get the air mattress—“
“Uh-uh,” he protested with a soft shake of his head. “He’s fine like that. You’re so worried about us relaxin’, you’ve forgotten you’re the most wound up outta all of us. Relax, baby. You are allowed to do that, ya know?”
You chuckled and nodded, looking away from his eyes and back to the dishes.
“How about you go get a fire going in the backyard and I’ll come and sit with you for a while,” you suggested, bringing a fresh smile to Joel’s face.
“I think that sounds like a slice of heaven,” he hummed against your cheek as he kissed you there. “Maybe I’ll even bring out the guitar.”
“That would be nice,” you beamed. Joel’s playing was so pretty, but also so rare. He never had the time for it, always either working or sleeping, but tonight, he had all the time in the world.
Tommy was asleep on the sofa, Sarah up in her bed doing the same thing. You and Joel remained cozied up together in the backyard, a blanket over your laps, your head leaning onto his shoulder as Joel strummed away at his guitar. It was cold out, but the fire raging in front of you did a sufficient job at keeping you toasty, not that you needed it. Joel made you feel plenty warm just by existing.
“You feelin’ sleepy?” he asked over the music. He must’ve caught your heavy eyelids attempting to close. You decided it would be best not to lie, the appeal of the bed and mountain of blankets to keep you warm responsible for keeping you honest.
“Yeah,” you croaked, nodding your head against his shoulder. Joel flattened his palm over the strings to quiet the music before standing up and walking it back into the house. You stood too, wrapping the blanket around your shoulder as you watched him return to put the fire out.
“You don’t have to wait for me,” he reminded.
“I want to,” you argued. He smiled at the dying embers, mumbling an okay.
You waited with him until the fire was completely ashed out, his arms wrapping around your waist to walk you inside. You carefully tiptoed through the house as to not wake Tommy and Sarah. The only sound in the entire house was the creak of the stairs beneath your feet as you padded up the stairs with Joel following at your heels.
“You gonna be grossed out if I don’t shower until the mornin’? I’m so tired—“
“As long as you’re okay with me being too tired for anything sexy tonight,” you replied from your side of the bed as you climbed in.
“We’ll do both in the mornin’ instead, how ‘bout that?” You smiled and nodded at him as he stripped down to his briefs and climbed into bed beside you. You guided him to turn his back to you so that you could hold him for a while, your hands rubbing and kneading at the tension in his back. “Mm, love you baby.”
“I love you,” you whispered back, continuing your massaging right up until you drifted asleep behind him, your hands hugged tight to his chest.
This was rest. This was peace.
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#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal fluff#joel miller#joel miller fic#joel miller x reader#joel x reader#joel miller fluff#joel miller x y/n#joel miller x you#joel miller reader insert#joel tlou#tlou fanfiction#elementary
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Until I Found You - choi seungcheol
genre: fluff, angst, choi seungcheol
pairings: scoups × yn
tw: injuries
words: 1.2k
a/n: i was listening to 'UntiI Found You' by Stephen Sanchez (i'm a basic bitch, leave me alone) and I saw this interview of him saying how he has written the song for his one true love called Georgia and he would never love anyone the same ever again and I just had to write this so..here we go ig :)
header credits: @saythestuff
Seungcheol was tired.
The echoes of fans’ screams on his every move were still ringing in his ears, the adrenaline active in his body. Yet, he felt nothing as he sat in the backseat of his van, which, considering the amount of time he spent in it, was more of a home to him than his apartment. He saw buildings rush by and could only think of how it was so similar to time. Time too, seemed incomprehensible to him when he moved so fast. Seungcheol closed his eyes, and just like routine, a slideshow of his favourite memories began.
It starts with the time he met you for the first time. He was sitting at the counter of his favourite little music instrument shop, where he was lucky to find a job as well. You were in a lilac hoodie, leggings, and ponytail, he remembers it clear as a day. You wandered around looking at instruments for a while, clueless and careful not to touch anything, until you saw the keyboard, which you rushed towards, and played ‘My Heart will Go On’ so perfectly, that Seungcheol almost thought you were trained for several years. It was until you started coming in almost every other day and played the same song every time, he figured out that was the only song you could play. And also, that you were quite tone deaf, and learned this song from sheer will-power.
He had made the first move. Working as a cashier in store, which happens to be the favourite place of quite possibly the cutest girl ever, has its own benefits. You hardly ever bought anything, except for CDs of some niche classical musicians, just sat in the store reading your book or doing some work. Luckily, Seungcheol knew how to enter a girl’s heart – through shitty instant coffee, so that he did. And it worked. Soon enough, you were laughing softly at his jokes, listening to his mixtapes, and manifesting for his dreams.
Seungcheol had underestimated how much love y/n had to give. You came in his life when he was struggling, and stuck to him like superglue through every trial he went through. You shared his mixtapes on every platform possible, made every café you visited play his music, made sure each and every friend and acquaintances of yours had heard his music. You would constantly DM all the artists and famous producers, as if they would read them and give Seungcheol the opportunity of a lifetime. You paid for promoting his music on Instagram- from whatever was left from your stupid copywriting salary after college fees took most of it. Seungcheol promised and swore on the heavens and hell, that he would give his beautiful girlfriend the life of her dreams, where he would fund everything and beyond, she would write as many books as she wanted, and they would live the happiest life a couple could dream of.
It seemed like fate was in his favour. Another day that he remembers as if it was yesterday. It was the weekend and Seungcheol was cooking with you in his apartment. Laughing at how not a single onion was getting properly cut by him, and him arguing that it doesn’t matter if it’s all going to be cooked at the end of the day. The conversation just ended with the stove turned off, and you in his arms. Regardless of how his life was going, his pathetic financial situation, and constant rejection from companies, he felt safe, at home with you in his arms. He felt like everything in the world would work out if you were there with him. And that’s what happened. His phone rang at that moment- it was a famous music production company, wanting to scout him based on his mixtape they heard playing in a café.
Rest was history. He was the S.Coups. You had giggled a little when you heard his work name, but admitted it was cool. Seungcheol got bigger and bigger opportunities. His handsome face went viral, and soon he went from a music producer to a bestselling artist. His once role models were now on his waiting list. Seungcheol felt like it was all a big fluke, and that he didn’t deserve this- but you were right there, with your healing smile- reassuring him that he had it in all this time.
But when one rises up too fast, life has a way of showing the ground, and fame is a bitch. Soon, your relationship was all about him. It was his conveniences, his schedule, his career, his image- yet you were fine with it, as long as he was happy. Seungcheol remembers the horrible day, when you waited for him all day in his apartment to tell him that you had won a writing competition by a publishing house. It was one the big break you were waiting for, and he just came home, dismissing you and falling asleep on the couch because he had drunk too much on a broadcast. He woke up the next day to find himself on the bed, in comfortable clothes and covered in a blanket. It was when he found the tear stained certificate on the table, that he realised how badly he had fucked up. Yet..yet you forgave him without him having to beg for forgiveness. Because you understood. You always did. Seungcheol wondered what your last straw would be, and prayed that he would never see the day it breaks.
Unfortunately, the day came. You had gotten into an accident, leg broken and several small fractures in the body. You had never experienced pain like this before, and only wanted Seungcheol in the room. Yet, he came four hours after he got the news, because he ‘had to’ complete his music show broadcast. This is the day he wishes he could forget. You were covered in bandages, but the pain in your eyes only reflected the pain in your heart. He was on his knees in the hospital room, and you looked at him in complete apathy.
“I have gone through too much because of you. I cannot take it anymore. You don’t have to do anything, I will remove myself from your life. You will not see me again.”
Seungcheol felt like his life had been taken out from him. He begged and groveled, promised to leave his career, sent thousands of flowers and gifts, wrote multiple letters- only to find them in the trash the next day. He kept persisting, until one day you just left, with no trace of where you were going. Just gone.
As if on cue, his van stopped rather harshly. “Sir, we’re here.” His driver woke him up. As he regained his senses, Seungcheol noticed the book he had been holding tightly all this time. Fifth one in the popular series written by y/n, the name adorned on it in calligraphy. He opened the first page, and the words on it broke his heart into a million pieces.
“To my husband Joshua, thank you for always being there for me.”
Maybe in the next life. He will find you and love you like you deserve. The next life.
#charity-writes#seventeen#choi seungcheol#scoups#kpop seventeen#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#seventeen headcanons#seventeen fanfiction#seventeen fluff#seventeen angst#scoups drabble#seungcheol#scoups fanfiction#kpop imagines#kpop fluff#kpop fanfiction#kpop boys#kpop idols#caratblr#jeonghan#moon junhui#hoshi#seungkwan#mingyu#wonwoo#woozi#dino#lee chan#xu minghao
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Hi everyone,
Here is my newest imagine with Matías Recalt, can't really think of any warnings besides making out etc (PG-13). I love the LSDLN fandom so much.
I apologise for any mistakes in my writing or grammar (I left school at 16 to go and work in a coffee shop where I didn't really need to do much penmanship and I was never good at English) I really want this to be perfect as I love writing and haven't in ages. Please leave me comments/ questions/ concerns and ofcourse constructive criticism. If people do like this alot and maybe want a part 2 I'd consider it, I am not sure but I do know I am enjoying writing again.
Sorry for the long introduction.
🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊
The Beach Run
"It's getting kind of late don't you think?" You rolled over onto your front and sat up onto your knees. "We should probably get back". Matías propped himself up onto his elbows and admired you.
"Sorry, what were you saying? There's a goddess in front of me, so it's a little hard to pay attention right now" he said, smirking.
"O my god." You laughed and blushed hard. Thank god it was getting dark. "You are another level you know?"
"Oh I know." He smirked again, sitting up and kissing you gently. "So what's it like being down here with us mere mortals?"
"Matías, please mi amor." You said kissing his soft cheeks. "It's getting dark, come on".
"Are you scared of the dark?" He asked, staring up at you with his dark eyes.
"Ofcourse not!" You replied, brushing some sand off yourself. You leaned forward to grab a few of the empty beer bottles around your towel. Matías admired you and fiddled with his ring.
"Babe, I have an idea." He said, smiling. "Please, it's a good one this time."
You laughed.
"I hope so." You replied, stroking his cheek. His last great date idea was to play sandwich roulette. It essentially involved choosing any random ingredients and food you two could find in the kitchen and throwing it into a sandwich. You didn't think you'd ever be able to get the taste of lettuce, mustard and onion out of your mouth. Even his cat didn't want any of the leftovers.
"No it really is this time, I promise." He smiled and kissed your neck. How could you resist? His smile was infectious.
"Okay, okay, tell me what we're gonna do." You said.
"Well ,first, we can tidy and all, so we're ready to head back as soon as we can." He said, putting some of the leftover food back into the picnic basket. You assisted in tidying and soon were all packed up.
"Now what?" You asked as you looked over at him. Matías said nothing as he got up to his feet and began undressing.
"No way! No, someone might see us." You said, admiring your perfect boyfriend. "Babe?!"
"No one is going to see us ,and it's pitch black anyway, so come on." He answered leaning down to kiss you tenderly. "I'll keep you safe, I promise." You pondered his request for a moment before smiling and taking off your bikini. Thank god it was pitch black so no one could see how hard you were blushing. You giggled as his long eyelashes tickled your face. He pulled away, took your hand and kissed it.
"Let's go swimming!" He said, and he took off in the direction of the sea.
"Matías! Matías!" You cried, holding onto his hand for dear life. "We can't do this, oh my god!" You laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. The two of you naked in the sea splashing each other. This was the level of joy you wanted to feel for the rest of your life. You could just about make out his silhouette in the darkness. The sea wasn't particularly cold, thankfully, and the two of you continued your water fight and swam a little bit of the way out. You embraced one another and began making out in the middle of the ocean.
"You are so perfect." Matías said, as he pushed some strands of wet hair out of your face. He touched your silver pendant, which he had given you as a gift before going off to film. He had a matching one also, and both of you had made a promise to never take it off. Whilst he was filming, it was hard to not miss him or feel alone at times despite the video calls and how often he messaged you. You had both agreed that when you both couldn't take the loneliness, all you had to do was hold onto the pendemant, squeeze it tightly, and think of being together.
"I love you so much." You said as you stroked his cheek with your thumb. "Te amo mucho."
"Que hermosa." He whispered back as he pressed tiny kisses on your neck. You remained enveloped in one another's pure adoration in the ocean for sometime.
"Well... we should probably get back... maybe." You giggled. "You're going to be all salty!" Matías kissed the tip of your nose.
"Race you!" He cried out before starting to front crawl back to the shore "Loser does the dishes!"
"O my god, you asshole!" You cried out before swimming after him. Naturally, he won thanks to his headstart.
"Going to make sure we cook the absolute messiest dinner tomorrow, babe." He said, smiling as he took your hand in his.
"Yeah, yeah." You replied shaking your head and rolling your eyes. It was impossible not to adore his shit eating grin. You lightly nudged him.
"Erm... babe." Matías said, looking out at the sand "Where's our stuff?" You looked up across the beach, when you had run into the ocean it obviously hadn't been in a straight line, and then swimming out and being pushed by the tide had led you back to a different spot.
"A good idea, huh?" You said, looking at him then promptly bursting out laughing. He blushed slightly and began laughing as well.
"I promise you can pick every date activity from now on." He said, laughing harder.
"This is still better than sandwich roulette." You answered as the two of you began walking in what you hoped was the right direction.
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Between the extra real we are getting from Wompty-Dompty Dom Centre and the fact that we have explored the entire map (meaning no more tare), we have very little use left for Hobocop. There's also just not much else left to buy.
The sound of melting snow dripping off the roof... its strange.
DOOR, APARTMENT #20 - A weathered brown door. The number reads '20'.
PERCEPTION (SMELL) [Medium: Success] - Something smells good -- soupe à l'oignon?
KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant motions you to go ahead and knock.
INLAND EMPIRE [Easy: Success] - This is the door, you already know it's the right door. This is going to be *so hard*.
VOLITION [Medium:Success] - Get yourself together. It's just police work.
HORRIFIC NECKTIE - Don't knock, just leave. You don't need this. You don't need to *sad it up*.
"Hold on, Kim, we should discuss this before we move on. What should we expect?"
Knock.
[Leave.]
KIM KITSURAGI - "You're right, let's talk this through." He looks at the apartment door and lowers his voice a bit...
PERCEPTION (HEARING) [Medium: Success] - You hear light footsteps passing by the door and some folk music playing on the radio.
KIM KITSURAGI - "We have our first preliminary identification -- in all likelihood the deceased is the husband of Billie Méjean. We need to confirm this, as well as deliver the death notification to Billie herself."
"Now, delivering a death notification is never an easy task. There's a reason why it's often called the most stressful part of our job. This is why it's usually done in pairs. You got this. I'll be monitoring reactions, ready to act if necessary."
"Do you have any advice on how to tell her he's...?"
"What if I don't want to do this?"
"Kim, I don't want to do this, let's turn around." (Try to bail out.)
"Alright, I think I'm ready." (Proceed.)
KIM KITSURAGI - "Dead? Just don't say that you know how they feel. You don't."
EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - Good advice.
2. "What if I don't want to do this?"
KIM KITSURAGI - "Yes, it's hard." He stares at the front door for a moment, his face still. "But there is no easy way to handle this information. It just has to happen, as soon as possible."
4. "Alright, I think I'm ready." (Proceed.)
KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant motions towards the door.
2. Knock.
DOOR, APARTMENT #20 - "Hello! Who is it?" A voice calls out from the other side of the door.
PERCEPTION (HEARING) [Medium: Success] - And someone turns down the radio.
Look at the lieutenant first.
"Is this Billie Méjean's home? This is the police, please open the door."
KIM KITSURAGI - He gives you a short encouraging nod.
"Is this Billie Méjean's home? This is the police, please open the door."
DOOR, APARTMENT #20 - "The police? A moment, please, give us a moment." You hear shuffling inside.
PERCEPTION (HEARING) [Medium: Success] - Tidying up. Nervously.
EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - There's fear in her voice.
DOOR, APARTMENT #20 - She unlocks the door. "Come in, the door is open."
🎵Rue de Saint-Ghislane 32B
An empty pack of Red Astra cigarettes hide under the bed.
The same brand of cigarettes you found in the trash next to the deceased.
Windows covered in old newspaper clippings.
Can't they afford curtains?
A chalk-drawn height chart for children's growth over the years.
Posters of contemporary pop stars adorn the walls.
The clock is ticking away with an odd cheerfulness.
Its ticking makes you anxious. Rings hollow in the room.
A textbook for high school. Mathematics. Trigonometry, mostly.
Packages of humanitarian aid macaronis.
Some leftovers kept warm on a stovetop.
Smells like buckwheat and onions here.
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "It's you from the bookstand... Did you come to bring my cockatoo back?" She smiles nervously, before the smile vanishes from her face.
"I don't think I introduced myself properly -- I'm Billie. Would you like something to drink?" She looks around the kitchen. "Tea, lemonade? We're out of coffee..."
KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant has taken off his foggy glasses and is busy cleaning them in his handkerchief for now. You're on your own here.
EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He must feel vulnerable without his glasses. Is this why he's letting you take the lead?
"Thanks, but I'm alright."
"I'm not really here for the tea."
Not now. [Leave.]
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "Is this about Victor, my husband? Is he in some kind of trouble again? I can come pick him up in the station if that's what..." She stops, her eyes trying to read answers from your face.
COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - Keep it together. You don't want your body language to tell her the news.
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "Sorry, I'm rambling..." She shakes her head and tries to laugh it off. "It's just that Victor often gets into all kinds of trouble. So, how can I help you?"
SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - Definitely no small talk, this isn't the time or place.
"So... how have you been?"
"I noticed you were cooking something."
"You live here with Victor, your husband, right?"
[Empathy - Impossible 17] Tell her about the dead body.
[Leave.]
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "It's me, Victor, and the kids here," she nods. "We have two daughters, Jennie and Jolie."
"Yes, I remember, you mentioned them at the bookstand."
(Look around.) "And where is everybody? I don't see anyone home."
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "Mhmh, they came home later. They're good girls."
(Look around.) "And where is everybody? I don't see anyone home."
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "The girls are staying at their friend's place tonight, and Victor is... out."
COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - She swallows visibly.
"He still hasn't come home?"
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "No." She stops.
"Why, do you have any news?"
"To your knowledge, did he make it to the library?"
"What was the name of the library?"
"What was he supposed to do in the library?"
"Remind me again, what was he wearing when you last saw him?"
"There's something else I have to tell you..."
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "No. I guess I'll find out when he decides to come back home." She looks at the front door.
"It shouldn't be long from now. He's never gone for more than a few days."
2. "What was the name of the library?"
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "Oh, it's in Jamrock. The one at Meroe street. I don't know the official name."
KIM KITSURAGI - "Central Jamrock Public Library?"
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "I think, yes. If that's the one on Meroe."
LOGIC [Medium: Success] - It is.
3. "What was he supposed to do in the library?"
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "Just to return a book of mine, why?" She looks at you quizzically. "Why all those questions, detective? Did he..."
EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - Do something? Break something? It's a fool's hope.
"Was it 'The Glinting Curve' by M. Thibault?"
"What was the name of the book?"
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "Yes." She becomes unsettled as she says that, her forehead scrunching up into a worried expression.
4. "Remind me again, what was he wearing when you last saw him?"
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "His old leather jacket."
"Can you describe it?"
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "Um, it's just your average brown leather jacket. But he bought it as a teenager, so..."
EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] - It reminded him of his teenage years.
"What about the inner lining?"
"No distinctive features?"
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "Yes..." She stops. "The lining is hand-sewn. It's blue; I tried to make the thing more weatherproof since he's running around with it in the middle of winter."
5. "There's something else I have to tell you..."
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - She folds her hands across her chest.
PAIN THRESHOLD [Medium: Success] - Here it comes.
4. [Empathy - Impossible 17] Tell her about the dead body.
+4 Kim is here.
+1 Identified the leather jacket.
+1 Identified the library card.
+1 Kept your composure.
+1 Discussed things through with Kim.
+1 Lieutenant's handkerchief.
EMPATHY [Impossible: Success] - You've done this before. Just keep your focus.
God, do I just say he's *dead* like that...
"Ma'am, I'm very sorry to say, but your husband, Victor Méjean, was found dead on the Martinaise boardwalk."
EMPATHY - Yes. That's the most important thing. Use that word.
"Ma'am, I'm very sorry to say, but your husband, Victor Méjean, was found dead on the Martinaise boardwalk."
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - She blinks. "What-did-you-say?"
PAIN THRESHOLD [Medium: Success] - A great and terrible spike. The blood freezes in her veins.
"Your husband, Victor Méjean, is dead. I'm very sorry for your loss, ma'am."
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "Oh." She touches her neck, eyes pale like pearls in seawater.
"Oh," she says again, "But he was just..." She looks at the kitchen table, where two cigarette butts are still in the tray.
EMPATHY - But he was just here. Alive.
KIM KITSURAGI - "We understand this comes as a huge shock. I want you to know that me and my partner," he points at you, "are here for you if you have any questions. Take your time, ma'am."
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "What happened to him?" She turns to you. Her neck and cheeks are covered with red blotches, her double chin is shaking.
"It's still early to say, but at first glance it seems like he slipped and hit his head."
"It was an accident -- he fell through a hole in the boardwalk and hit his head."
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "Was he drunk?"
"Alcohol may have played a role, yes."
"We don't know yet, but we will let you know when the results arrive."
"Yes."
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "I see..." She withdraws, trying to picture the scene. "And you just... found him there? Lying in the cold?"
"How long had he been there?"
EMPATHY - If you say 'Two days, maybe', it will be etched in her mind forever.
"It's hard to say at this point."
"It couldn't have been long."
"Two days, maybe."
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - She blinks, eyes welling up with tears, as her hands start searching for something from the pockets of her dress.
KIM KITSURAGI - "Here." The lieutenant takes out his handkerchief and offers it to the woman. She nods and slowly wipes away her tears.
"Is there anyone we could call for you? A friend, a family member, someone who could be here for you?"
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "No, no..." She breathes in. "I just need to tell my girls..." The air gets sucked out of her lungs suddenly.
PAIN THRESHOLD [Medium: Success] - It burns like acid.
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "God, should I call them? Should I tell them to come home?"
EMPATHY - No. A day.
"Yes, they should know. Do you want us to call them and ask them here?"
"No, take a day to recover. You'll be better prepared when they come home tomorrow."
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "Good, that's probably the right thing, thank you..." She nods, but with a wretched expression.
"Just tell me, what do I need to do next? Where is he? Can I see him?"
KIM KITSURAGI - "We've taken him to the city morgue. The local coroner will be contacting you shortly to arrange the funeral. Here's his number in case you want to contact him earlier." He hands her a leaflet with the morgue's contact information.
DRAMA [Medium: Success] - A very good call.
KIM KITSURAGI - "Is there anything else that the RCM could do for you?
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - "No, I'll call you if something comes up, I'm still..." She rubs her face, runs her fingers over cheeks that have become numb.
"Thank you." She looks down. "Thank you for telling me. I'll call, if..." She runs out of breath.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Medium: Success] - These are her last reserves of strength. Her muscles will give in soon. Already she starts to shake.
"Again, I'm very sorry, ma'am."
KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant nods at the woman, then looks back at you, his voice lowered: "We should step outside and talk."
[Set the library card by her. Leave the room.]
Item lost: Folded library card
WORKING CLASS WOMAN - ...
KIM KITSURAGI - "You did well," the lieutenant says as soon as you've left the apartment. The balcony feels cool and quiet, with a stunning view over the district.
(Nod.) "What now?"
"I could have done more."
"Great, the case is closed then." [Leave.]
KIM KITSURAGI - "You did enough." He pauses, rubbing his hands together to generate some heat.
+1 Reputation
"Can't save the whole world, you know?"
CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - Can't bring the dead back.
(Nod.) "What now?"
KIM KITSURAGI - "I'll call the station when we're finished with the day and let them know the name of the deceased."
"That's it?"
"What about Billie and her kids?"
"Right, this is closed then." [Leave.]
KIM KITSURAGI - "That's it. We should get back to our case now that our duty here is done."
2. "What about Billie and her kids?"
KIM KITSURAGI - "They'll manage."
VOLITION [Easy: Success] - They have to. It's not your place to live their lives.
3. "Right, this is closed then." [Leave.]
KIM KITSURAGI - He nods. "Let's go."
Task complete: Dead body on the boardwalk
+10 XP
THOUGHT COMPLETE: THE LITANY OF CONTACT MIKE
BONUSES: All Physique white checks unlocked
SOLUTION: ...5,000-1 rank outsider! No one saw it coming. The mantle of a game changer demands intangible qualities. Fights are not won -- you're thinking, instead of doing detective work right now -- fights are *made*. Blow by blow, let's take it *Mike to the Mikey*. Some low-intensity part of you has entered a sports-cliche driven fugue state. And it's not necessarily a bad thing. Also -- Mike *knew* what it took to win: he just wanted it *more*.
Tragically, due to what we've already completed, the only potentially useful check this has unlocked is the one to stop making the Expression.
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Eddie + 🌭🍕🍔🌮
lol i wrote most of this while i had really bad munchies 😂 it definitely didn’t help
also i’m sorry it’s so long, i got really carried away with this one 😅
You and Eddie had been thinking about something new to try out for your date nights
You wanted to keep things interesting and do things different than just your normal dates
Eddie had been thinking all day about what you could do together, but as much as he hated to admit it, money was short and he felt bad for not being able to treat you like he used to
But he knew that it wasn’t about the money you spent, it was about spending time with one another
He didn’t care what you did together, just as long as he could do it with you
And after thinking he finally came up with the perfect plan to incorporate your favorite dates into one
He knew you loved snuggle dates, curled up under a blanket with lots of snacks, the lights turned low, a scary movie on the TV to give him the perfect opportunities to hold you when you got too scared
And he loved getting to go out to eat whenever you could, seeing a new small restaurant pop up on your drives home and he would insist you go the very next day to be able to try it together
He wanted to make it a little surprise for you, and spent the rest of the day preparing everything for it
He wrote all the specific places you could go onto little pieces of paper and placed them each into Wayne’s mugs
Coffee shops, fast food places, ice cream stores, snack snacks
Every place he could think of around Hawkins that you could stop at for food all being placed into their specific categories: drinks, appetizers, dinner, dessert.
And he was so excited to see your reaction
As soon as you came over he welcomed you with a kiss like always and he quickly picked you up and brought you to the couch
In front of you were the mugs and he looked so smiley and happy while you were sitting there confused on the couch
Once you asked him what the pieces of paper in the mugs were for he finally explained
He wanted to have a fun dinner with you and get every course at a different place, all of them would be random since you were grabbing them from the mugs and after you got everything you’d come right back to the trailer to eat and watch a movie
You were so excited for your date night, and you could see how excited Eddie was too
He often likes to plan fun dates like this and every time you were so grateful to have a boyfriend put this much effort into your date nights
He waited for you to pull out slips of paper from each mug and watched with anticipation as you reached a hand into each one
Each time you pulled out a piece of paper you felt your heart race with excitement, wanting to know where you and Eddie were headed first
For drinks you were going to be stopping at a smaller place that Eddie’s shown you, a drink stand ran by an older lady just down the street
You couldn’t wait, you’ve been dying to go back since he first took you there
The older woman had the best fresh strawberry lemonade you’ve ever had and she even sold her fresh fruits at the same stand
Maybe you’d be able to convince Eddie to buy you some fresh fruit if you were nice enough
For appetizers you were stopping into the snack bar at the bowling alley, which confused you at first until you remembered just how amazing all their snacks were
Whatever grease they had used in the fryer had to have been there since it opened for them all to taste that good
Cheese curds, mini corn dogs, french fries, onion rings, fried pickles, all the best fried appetizer foods you could think of
Eddie always went nuts for their loaded fries anyways so you knew he was looking forward to that
For dinner you were going to be grabbing some takeout from a chinese restaurant a little further into town, but this wasn’t just any chinese restaurant
it was THE chinese restaurant
Family owned, smaller place, and all the food is homemade recipes that taste absolutely delicious
Lastly, you were going to swing inside Scoops Ahoy to get some ice cream for dessert
You were just hoping that Eddie wouldn’t get too distracted by all the other stores in the mall
And he had gotten you two some adorable pajamas to change into while you grabbed your food
And of course they matched!
You had gotten changed into your matching pajamas and Eddie looked so excited seeing you in yours
They were simple, black and white plaid pajama pants and a black shirt, but it was so adorable that he got them just for tonight
You got into his van and went off to the first stop: drinks
Your eyes lit up the moment you saw it up the road
The little old lady that ran it was sitting out with her fan and a sweet smile on her face, saying hello to you and Eddie as she saw you approaching
She always told her friends about the nice young couple that always liked to pay her visits
You and Eddie grabbed your drinks from her, for you a strawberry lemonade of course and Eddie got himself something from her recommendation
She said it was called an Agua Fresca and it was absolutely delicious!
(Eddie got the biggest size she had since he knew you would be stealing sips from it all night)
Your next stop was the bowling alley for your appetizers and on your walk in you got a few stares from the other patrons
Little kids giggling and their parents smiling at you and Eddie in your matching pajamas as you walked up to the snack bar
You both glanced over the menu before approaching and you both decided to get something for yourselves and one thing to share
Eddie got a side of onion rings for himself, you ordered mozzarella sticks, and got a side order of the fries for you both to share
The worker at the counter did give you two a strange look when he saw you weren’t wearing any bowling shoes or you definitely weren’t dressed for bowling, but he didn’t pay any kind to it
He was just happy the two of you were nice enough to tip him afterwards
You went back to the van and got all your food situated in the back, the basket of fries in your lap to snack on as Eddie drove a little further out for the Chinese restaurant
As Eddie drove the two of you around you made sure to keep checking the time
You didn’t want to keep each other out too late and not be able to eat all the things you got!
Not to mention how awful it would be to let those delicious drinks go to waste
As soon as Eddie parked he ran inside to grab your food order, not even telling you that he had gotten all your favorites ahead of time so you didn’t have to wait forever for it
It smelled delicious and you knew you’d be stuck on the couch eating all those yummy things for the rest of the night
He quickly made his way over to the mall to make your final stop at Scoops Ahoy for your ice cream
He didn’t want to forget the best part of your meal
The two of you raced to the store, agreeing that whoever was there last had to pay
Although you think Eddie definitely let you win just to be a gentleman
And he was even kind enough to buy the pints of ice cream instead of just the cups!
He knew you’d love to wake up with ice cream for breakfast
With all your goodies waiting for you in the van you both climbed back in and Eddie drove back to the park as quick as he could
You wanted to be able to enjoy your food while it was still hot
You grabbed your drink and the ice creams and Eddie grabbed his drink and the rest of the good as you ran into the kitchen to put the ice cream into the freezer
Eddie shut the trailer door behind him and placed the food onto the living room table, setting it all up for you as you rummaged through his tapes to find one to watch
You knew Eddie’s first pick would always be a horror movie but you wanted to mix it up a little tonight
He could never turn down one of his nerdy fantasy movies
You decided on Krull, a favorite of his, and pushed it into the VHS player on the tv while Eddie finished setting up your food
As the movie started the two of you didn’t know wether to savor your food or scarf it down like it was your last meal on earth
All your favorite things in one sitting was definitely something that Eddie had to plan more often
#stranger things#stranger things 4#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson x yn#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson headcanons
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Cub Part 20 Chaos and world travel
Pairing: Roman Reigns X Reader
Synopsis: Roman, Seth and Dean are a pack of werewolfs. Protecting their city from the scumbags of the world ends up with a surprise when a victim left for dead imprints on Roman Reigns.
Part 20
POV Cub
I woke…. Alone…. Where was my mate? I’m at work, sweetheart he said. Work. Oh yeah. He was back at work today. There was an ice storm, and he was needed at the hospital. Shay, get me some Albuterol. Calm the patient. You’re going to be ok. I promise. We just gotta wait for the meds. Patient calming a bit.
I was hearing everything he thought, and as I processed that, I saw the patient’s face through his eyes. A sweet young boy about 7 with dark hair who was scared. It was just for a second, but I could see it. I wasn’t prepared for this…. For experiencing his job through his mind. I briefly thought about how bad this could be. What if he had a bad emergency? What if I saw something terrible while he worked on someone? What if he gets distracted by something I think?
I won’t, baby. I’m used to closing my mind off from our pack while I work. Seth and Dean do it too. You’ll learn soon. Don’t worry.
In the distance, I heard the ringing of a cellphone “This is Renee” she spoke into the phone.
Roman’s voice through the phone came next. “Do you have any Compazine in the house? I’m worried Cub will get nauseous if I’ve got a messy case here.” Renee said we didn’t have any, and Roman promised to send someone over with some.
I thanked him as I stretched out my body lazily under the warm soft blankets, treasuring the warmth before I headed to get ready.
Roman was doing paperwork while I showered, and I felt his mind start to wander. He was thinking about the shower, and just how naked I was. He pictured the water running over my nipples, snaking it’s way down my stomach and tucking between my legs. Then he thought about how he’d like to have his head between my legs!!! Here I was worried about my job bothering you. Maybe I should have considered how bothered your shower is making me!” He adjusted his semi hard cock.
Sorry I laughed through our link.
Just get done before I get another patient. He teased, so I finished the shower and got dressed as fast as possible. As I was coming down the stairs, the smell of cooking onions and potatoes started to fill up the condos. The aroma was strong enough that I thought it was coming from our kitchen, but as came into the room, it was vacant. Following the scent, I found myself at Dean and Renee’s condo. I knocked tentatively despite the door being open, and Renee started waving me into the room. Her mouth was full, and she chewed quickly.
“You don’t have to knock, Cub! Come in!!” Peaking over the counter, I saw the potatoes cooking. Next to it, Renee was beating some eggs. I also saw sausage and bacon ready to be cooked. “I was going to make you breakfast in bed.” She protested. “I thought you’d sleep longer.”
“This is for me?” I laughed “All of this? I’m not heat hungry.”
Renee poured the eggs into a skillet. “Oh this, isn’t all for you, unless you want to eat all of it.” We’re close enough to the hospital that the staff can walk here. That’s why the tribe bought these condos. We have similar condos near all the hospitals in Alaska. It’s not uncommon for the condos to be a homebase. If someone needs sleep, shower, food. They can do all of that at the hospital, but it’s quieter here. No interruptions.”
“And the food is better!” I pointed out.
“Yeah, well that’s the aim. That’s part of why I stayed home today. To cook for everyone.” She said it so calmly, but this looked like a big feast. It would take forever to cook.
Dean came in from downstairs, “Morning Cub” he said as soon as he saw me. He carried a TON of food with him. Enough food to fill 8 tote bags, that he carried in one hand. As soon as he set the bags down, he came over to hug me. “Can I make you a coffee?” He turned, putting on an apron and started to unpack the bags.
“Honey, did you get the apple juice?” Renee asked Dean.
“Right here!” He held it up while he grabbed a glass, poured the juicee and handed it to me.
“Thank you!” I smiled that he remembered my favorite.
Renee added “You want any coffee? A soda?”
She was busy cooking for a large crowd, but she was worried about me. It was very sweet. I held up my hand to stop her before she poured me a mug of coffee. “This is all I need.”
“Ok,” she paused to look at me. “What would you like for breakfast?”
Taking a seat, I looked around “I can’t decide.”
“I gotcha!” Dean said as he got a plate. He loaded a little bit of everything on my plate. Renee must have been up for hours cooking. There was a quiche in a warmer drawer along with a ham and egg casserole, fresh biscuits in a covered basket and sausage gravy in a crockpot and some fruit salad from the fridge. My plate was laden with food by the time he set it in front of me.
I doubted I could finish it, but it all looked so good. “Everything is delicious!“ I said to both of them. I watched them as I devoured the food. Dean and Renee worked so well together, it was obvious they cooked together often. A few minutes later, Dean brought me some of the bacon he was cooking.
The quiche was my favorite dish, and I made sure to eat it first, so I wouldn’t be too full.
A knock at the front door in the living room surprised me. “I got it.” Dean said and unceremoniously pulled the door open. He wasn’t surprised to see the 5 people standing there. “Come in. Come in.” Everyone paused to shed their winter wear.
“Renee!” a young woman practically sang. “Best thing about winter storms is getting to spend time with this woman and her amazing food!” Her eyes settled on me. “You must be….” She trailed off.
“Y/N” I answered.
She took my extended hand and placed hers around it. “I’m really happy to meet you!”
I thanked her as Dean started introductions. “Cub this is Niki, Fallon, Finn, Michael and Cory.”
Instead of shaking everyone’s hand I opted for a shy wave. “Nice to meet you all.”
They all greeted me. “Guys, I don’t have the buffet table ready, so we’ll make you plates before you go to sit.” Renee said and everyone agreed.
Finn was first to get food, and he chose to sit next to me at the breakfast bar. “Dis ok?” Oh! He was Irish…… like Becky. “When Becks said Renee was cookin’ I knew I had to get here before the surgeons.” He turned to me, “They are a hungry bunch. Might not have food left after them.”
“Good to know.” I chuckled.
The next 15 minutes, we ate and talked about anything other than me. They included me in the conversation but didn’t ask me about the past few days and what I’d been through. It felt amazing to just relax and not be on display like a piece of art.
But in what felt like a blink of an eye, they had to get back to work. Michael stayed to grab a shower, but the rest left with promises of seeing me soon.
“Ok. I think that’s it for now” Renee surveyed the kitchen. “Lets set up the buffet.”
Dean leaned down to kiss her forehead, “Will do, but then I gotta get ready for work.” She agreed.
I’d been neglecting my breakfast, and everything on my plate had gotten cool. I grabbed a last bite of a couple of things before getting up to wash my plate.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Renee’s voice rang out as I grabbed a sponge to wash the plate. “No! You’re supposed to be resting!” She grabbed the plate and the sponge from my hand. “I got this.”
“Renee,” I grabbed back, and we both held them. “I feel good… Really!! I’m getting tired of people waiting on me.”
She paused, looking into my eyes to judge my seriousness. “Ok! Ok, but if Roman gets mad, I’m telling him you wouldn’t listen to me.”
She released the plate; allowing me to wash it. “I got your back” I said. “He can’t be mad at me.”
Drying and putting the now clean plate in the dishrack, I grabbed two dishes of the prepared food and followed Renee into the dining room to set up the buffet. Dean started to protest, but Renee stopped him. “She’s not in pain. She wants to help.”
He hesitated a second before seeing the determined look on my face. “Ok” he said and went back to work.
______________________________________________________
“Come in.” I said, and the door burst open.
“Oh! Hello!” a thick Irish Brogue rang out as a very tall, very handsome man entered at the same time that Renee came back into the kitchen. “I heard Renee was cookin. Figured I better get some before the surgeons got to it. “
Renee hugged the giant mountain of a man. He had dark brown hair, dazzling blue eyes and a smile that warmed up the room on top of a seriously rock-hard muscled body. “Drew! Yeah!” Renee said. “We’ve got a buffet all set up in the dining room.”
Renee gestured towards the aforementioned room, but Drew hesitated, looking at me. “And you must be Cub?”
Shaking his hand, I nodded. Renee made the introduction. “Cub, this is Drew McIntyre. He’s an ER doc with Roman.”
“Nice to meet the mate that has Roman so happy.” Despite being giant, this man didn’t intimidate at all. He had a kind voice, made better by the accent. “I gotta tell ya, I’ve never seen Roman so happy.”
I smiled at the compliment. “I’ve never been as happy either.”
“Good! I gotta eat and run, but I’m hoping we can get together soon. Maybe a double date.”
I smiled up at him, “Sounds great. Actually, we were going to eat lunch now anyway.”
He headed toward the dining room, walking backwards as he talked to me. “When I get back, assumin' no new emergencies come in, I think I can send Roman home to you.”
“Slow day?” Renee asked as we started filling our plates with food.
Drew had popped a piece of cheese in his mouth and couldn’t answer for a second. “For once, looks like everyone stayed home this time. We’ve had a couple of car accidents and one slip and fall and an overdose…. You know… normal stuff. We don’t need both of us. I can call him in if something happens, but we’re just sitting around doing paperwork. He can do that from here.” Drew grabbed another bite of food before sitting down and digging into his plate.
______________________________________________________
FAMILY MEETING! Roman sent a message through the pack link. Bring your lists.
Lists? Roman quickly distracted himself so I couldn’t read his mind.
“Just a surprise.” He kissed my forehead before we sat on the couch.
Our pack started coming in the room, each of them with tablets or laptops. Becks took her seat and opened her laptop. “Schedules” she called out, and everyone paused to send their schedules to Becks.
Dean and Seth started chatting about a recent surgery they worked on, while Roman tended to the fireplace, adding logs and making adjustments until it was a roaring flame, the heat warming the room. I loved the smell of a nice warm fire. Only Roman smelled better, and as we sat, I nestled into his arms, enjoying the smell of him.
“Oh!” Becks got super excited. “We’re all off Saturday night!”
“That’s rare!” Renee said.
Dean started shaking his head before saying. “Nah, guys I got a match that night.”
Match? I read Roman’s mind where I found out Dean does professional wrestling. I looked at my brother. He felt embarrassed. I went to him and hugged him. “I understand.” I said through our link. “Don’t be embarrassed.” He had anger and aggression from his childhood. The fighting helped.
Out loud I asked, “But isn’t that a little unfair? You’re a wolf.”
Seth chuckled. “They’re all wolves… the wrestlers. Some of the managers are human.” Well, that made sense. The wolves fight out their aggressions while entertaining the crowd (and earning money off them) and then they transformed into wolves and healed themselves.
“And all proceeds go to the natives of whatever country they wrestle in.” Roman explained.
“So, Dean gets his aggression from his childhood out, humans get their entertainment, nobody stays hurt and proceeds go to natives? It’s a win-win then.” I said.
“They employ some humans too.” Renee added “so it’s a win-win-win.”
“What if….” Becks said, “What if we have an early dinner… like 4 or something and then we could go to the match.”
“I’m game.” Seth said and everyone agreed.
“Be home and ready to leave at 3:30, everyone” Roman commanded. “We’ll go to the Crow’s Nest for dinner. Show Cub a taste of the good life.
“Allll righty then. The schedule is on it’s way to you all.” Becky said at the same time that everyone’s phones vibrated. I opened the message. It was a schedule of when everyone was working for the week.
“So we’re ready.” Roman said and everyone agreed excitedly. “I’ve been able to keep this from Cub, but I’m not sure how much longer I can get by with that. She’s getting pretty good at exploring my mind.” Roman pulled me closer and kissed my head. “So, as you know, wolves live roughly 500 years. Well, generally we work until we find our mates. Once everyone in the pack has found their mate…..” She raised her eyebrows questioningly “It’s standard for the whole tribe to retire and spend then next 100 years or so traveling the world and raising families.”
As I explored this in his mind, I quickly realized that he wasn’t just talking about traveling the world.. he was talking about traveling the world first class! Yachts, Private jets, Huge mobile home campers. As I sat in awe he said out loud, “We’re going to live like the elite baby… First class all the way!” A sudden panic came as he thought I may not want to travel the world.
“No! No! I didn’t mean that. Yes!!!! I want to go! I’m just……” I couldn’t finish my thought as he started thinking about the “lists”. Each pack member had spent their lives thinking of places they wanted to go, things they wanted to see and learn and do. Seth wanted to learn guitar. Then he thought about getting me an art master to teach me one on one.
Seth smiled at me…. “Like Dean said, we’re going to spoil you rotten.” He chuckled.
“So” Renee started. “Where have you always wanted to go or do?” She asked me.
I was so shocked; all I could think of was Yellowstone National Park.
“Put Yellowstone on the list…. Gonna need like a week or 2 to explore it all.” Dean said. He’d obviously read my mind, and Renee started typing on her ipad which was cast to the TV so we could all see.
“Oh come on, Cub!” Becks said. “If you could go absolutely anywhere in the world…. ANYWHERE….. where would you go?
“Uh…. I.. it’s silly.” I said.
Roman didn’t think it was silly at all, in fact, he lit up. “There we go! Put an overwater bungalow in Fiji on there.” Then he looked down at me. “Fiji or the Maldives?” He couldn’t help me realizing he wanted the Maldives.” I didn’t know the difference between, but Roman definitely preferred the Maldives. “Change that to The Maldives, please.” He kissed my nose. “Ok Cub, you’re on a roll. Where else?” Roman was so focused on my mind, he was seeing every thought. “Add Venice, Italy and Ireland.”
“That’s a great start!” Becks was excited. “Let’s put a globe on the screen. We’ll go from the North Down.”
Renee had obviously had the same thought because a couple of seconds later, google earth was showing on the TV screen.
“From the top then.” Seth said. Antarctica. Anyone want to visit Antarctica?
A silence filled the room, so I was going to stay quiet, but Roman answered. “Yup. Cub wants to go.”
“No.” I answered. “I mean… I’d love to go, but I don’t want people to visit, because I don’t want people anywhere near the ice caps. There’s a reason why it’s illegal to go there. You know what I mean? We need to protect the ice caps.”
“Oh yeah! I get it.” Becks said.
Seth got up, going closer to the TV. He pointed to an island below Antarctica. “How about here?”
“Yeah. That’s better!” We opened a few photospheres and looked around the island. It was a frozen tundra that researchers used. It looked exactly like the photospheres on Antarctica.
“I’m pretty sure we have someone at King Sejong Station on King George Island. I’ll look into it. So, we’re going Antarctica adjacent.” Seth answered.
“Ok, Next. Iceland. Who wants to visit Iceland?” Renee asked and everyone answered yes. We laughed at that. “Iceland it is! Anywhere in particular?”
“I want to see all the waterfalls.” Seth said at the same time Dean said “What’s that hot spring everyone goes to? It’s not that one…. It’s My….. something”
“We’ll look it up,” Renee said and a second later answered with Myvatn.
“Yeah! Yeah! That’s the one. Not so crowded.” Seth practically bounced with excitement. “Wait until you feel that hot spring water, Cub!”
I couldn’t help but smile at him. “Can’t wait!”
I hadn’t counted on this taking as long as it did. Two hours later and we were still working our way down to Norway. This was going to take multiple meetings. I didn’t envy Renee’s job if she was going to have to make all the arrangements.
Roman picked up my hand, kissing the back of it as he thought “No baby. She’s just getting the basic information. Once we’ve gone through the whole list of countries, it will go to a travel agent… wolf run business of course….. that knows where to go.”
I thought back, “Ah ok.”
@mindofasagitarius
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@bigpsychicbagelauthor
@omg-im-such-a-masochist
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Wonderful World - Part 6^
Hello everyone, here's the next part! This one starts off a little lighter and ends the same, but all of the middle content is quite heavy and might be a bit of a hard read! There's a lot going on, please be very mindful of the warnings because if you have experienced any of the things mentioned in this chapter you might feel triggered.
Series Masterlist
Warnings: family fights, mentions of blood and periods & vomit, public humiliation, intense cyberbullying, mentions of suicide, detailed descriptions of panic attacks, grief and loss, car accident aftermath as a result of drunk driving, physical abuse.
WC: 11.1k
It was now 7:30am on a Sunday and Harry hadn’t slept a wink. There was this awful knot of mixed feelings in his stomach that he didn’t know how to get rid of. He was so happy he had kissed Diana, but that was also clouded over with the very evident regret they each felt for letting things get that far. His heart felt fine after Rebecca, it wasn’t broken or anything, but he couldn’t help but feel like he had been wasting his time. Rebecca probably felt that way too - so now all he wanted to do was make up for lost time and he had been impulsive and latched himself to the first pretty woman that caught his eye, that’s probably what happened. As Harry laid there staring at his ceiling thinking these thoughts he felt like shit, obviously that’s not what happened with Diana but it was the only way he could really rationalize his behavior.
“Fucking hell…” he groaned as he heard some knocks on his door. He got out of bed and threw on some sweats, taking his time. Then his phone started ringing and he looked and saw it was Henry.
“‘Lo?” He grumbled lowly, voice still low and raspy from lack of use.
“Hey man, I’m outside. Surprise!” Henry said and Harry couldn’t help but smile. Henry was the most thoughtful person he ever knew. He grew up with a mother, grandmother, and two younger sisters, he was a nurturer and he had a sixth sense for when someone he loved wasn't feeling their best.
“Alright, give me a minute. Need a wee.” Harry said and Henry chuckled.
“Yeah man, take your time. I’ll be…here.” He said and they hung up.
Harry washed up a bit to not look as dead as he felt and also threw on a shirt before hurrying to let Henry in. He greeted him with a bright smile and a paper bag from Blau’s - one of their frequented cafes during their grad school years. They had the absolute best bagels & lox.
“You have a toaster, right?” Henry asked as he walked over to the kitchen.
“Yeah, of course!” Harry chuckled as he followed behind him, “She’s just on hiatus.” He chuckled as he stooped down to one of his cabinets and pulled out the pink toaster and Henry chuckled as he proceeded to plug it in. “I’d bought it as a wedding gift for someone but one of the bride’s bailed so it’s mine now.” Harry explained as he started to bring out the things to make coffee. Harry put on some music to make the mood a bit more lively as they prepped breakfast and then Henry turned to him as the first notes of the The Dance version of “Dreams” started to play.
“Oh yeah!” Henry exclaimed as he swayed and shimmied his shoulders to the music, “-in the stillness of remembering what you had and what you lost. Ooh I said what you had, you know what you lost! C’mon H, take it away!” Henry encouraged and Harry chuckled as he start to sing along to the chorus with Henry.
“They say women they will come and they will go.” Harry smiled, “When the rain washes you clean you’ll know.”
“You will know.” Henry sang passionately before they both chuckled.
A few minutes later they both sat at the table with toasted bagels, cream cheese, onions, capers, and lox and of course, a steaming hot cup of coffee. Harry’s sour mood was mostly gone now, but Henry could see that he looked exhausted.
“So, how’ve you been doing?” Henry asked and Harry smiled.
“I’m alright. I swear.” He assured and Henry chuckled.
“Oh ummm, Grace told me about how you know Diana.” He said and Harry nodded, “Sorry man, I had no idea.”
“It’s alright, I didn’t either until the escape room. I figured we’d eventually cross paths again, just not as often as we have been I guess.” He explained and Henry nodded. “If I…tell you something will you promise not to report me to BBS?” He asked with a nervous smile and Henry chuckled.
“Not my field, not my business.” Henry shrugged and then his eyes widened. “Unless you harmed someone. Or killed someone. Or-”
“Bro, I didn’t harm anyone. Or at least I don’t think… I did?” Harry was even questioning that now.
“OK, then shoot.” Henry said as he put down his bagel and Harry exhaled before just saying it.
“I kissed Diana.”Harry confessed and Henry looked surprised.
“Oh…when?”
“Last night!” Harry said and Henry rolled his eyes.
“I get that, but like when? Her boyfriend was there-”
“He’s not her boyfriend. And it was when she went to the bathroom and I followed her.” He sighed. Harry was clearly frustrated at this and Henry bit his lip.
“I ummm…fucked a patient one time.” He said lowly and Harry glanced up at him and then burst into laughter.
“What?!” He said in shock and Henry shrugged.
“She was hot and well, we’re humans. We have feelings and needs and you don’t always pick the person, you know? Sometimes the moment is just right.” Henry said and Harry bit his lip and interlaced his fingers before resting his hands at the back of his head.
“This was more than a momentary lapse of judgement.” He explained, “Since the moment she brought her daughter in it was like… like a part of me woke up. I’ve never been so curious about a person before.”
“She is very beautiful.” Henry said and Harry nodded.
“Yeah.” He hummed, “There’s just always this really intense tension between us. Like just to be near to each other and when I kissed her it’s like…” he trailed off, “A few days before she’d gotten in a huge fight with her daughter and I wanted to help her feel better, so we got stoned at her place and she feels it too.” He explained, “We were saying that maybe if we just got to know each other it would help water down the illusion or whatever but it didn’t. It just made me like her more and now I’m fucked.”
“Have you considered that this is just a crush to distract you from-”
“I did and that’s not this. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about her as like a band-aid for now. Like I plan to keep my distance and then I hear her voice, or smell her fucking perfume, or see her and it’s like I’ve lost all fucking objectivity!” Harry said with frustration and Henry sighed, “She even stopped waiting in the office for her daughter and that makes her daughter think that Diana doesn’t care about her, but it’s an issue with me and her. But that’s already impacted the girl and we’ve barely even…spent time together.” Harry explained.
“Well, maybe it’s time to refer the girl.” Henry said and Harry sighed.
“I couldn’t do that to her. She just started opening up to me and she’s going through a lot at school.”
“Yeah, Grace told me.” Henry said with a slight frown, “Then just suck it up and don’t interact with Diana, H.”
“Yeah, we already agreed to do that last night. I texted her to apologize and that’s why she told Grace about the therapy thing.” He sighed, “She already told me that if I would be anywhere she wouldn’t go.”
“OK then, problem solved!” Henry said and Harry shook his head.
“No because she thinks it’s her fault. She said something about her leading me to compromise my professional integrity or some shit like that and I hate that. Like if anyone should’ve known better it was me. From the beginning!” Harry groaned and as Henry watched the frustration basically emanate from him in waves.
“H, you’re human. You’re attracted to her, she’s attracted to you. It’s literally nature. Not even just nature, biology. That’s literally how your body is made to respond to attraction and it’s unnatural to fight it. But hey, you both recognize that this can’t happen, for the good of her daughter, your client. Don’t beat yourself up for it. You slipped up and now you’re both on the same page to not let that happen again while you treat the girl. That’s it. It’s over. It’s OK.” Henry said with a calm tone and smile on his face but Harry sighed.
“And that’s where the problem lies. I don’t want it to be.”
“Well if that’s what you want then you know what you need to do. It can’t be both.” Henry said and Harry felt his eyes welling up and he blinked a few times but nodded.
“Yeah, I know…” Harry sighed.
*********
Diana went for a walk around her neighborhood in the morning just to clear her head as she thought about the best way to tell Gabe that they should just stay friends. To anyone looking from the outside in they would tell her to just say it like that, but she was not great at confrontation. It was hard for her to tell people things they didn’t necessarily want to hear, even as a mother, she struggled sometimes to say no to Celeste.
After her walk she got showered, ate some breakfast, and changed before she headed to pick up Celeste from Geri’s house. She truly hoped that whatever Celeste had been resentful about before was done and gone. She kept thinking back to what Harry said about her sharing with Celeste how being ignored made her feel, but she was hesitant. She didn’t want to make Celeste feel guilty for how she felt; like she had been when she was younger. Obviously, there are better, more correct ways to express frustration, but Celeste is 14! She’s still learning. As she thought about this she could almost hear Harry’s voice as he told her that she should use this as a teaching moment between her and Celeste and as much as she wanted his gorgeous self and his voice out of her head, it was the best thing to do.
********
Celeste was dreading being picked up from Geri’s house. She was still upset at her mom. Yes, it had been days of her icing her out, but her feelings were hurt. It felt like she was just waiting for her OK to go and get a boyfriend and now she was seeing some guy and Celeste was happy for her at first, but as the realization set in that this would just pull them apart, it was upsetting. When her phone buzzed with a text from her mom she sighed and started to pack up her things.
“See you tomorrow, OK?” Geri said and Celeste hugged her and then walked off to the car.
“Hi sweetie, how’d it go?” Her mom greeted her cheerfully.
“It was fine.” Celeste mumbled, “Got my period and I don’t have anything at home.”
“OK, we can drop by Target.” Diana assured.
“Cool.” Celeste said and then turned to the window and waved one last time to Geri before they took off in silence. It remained that way through their trip to Target. When they got back in the car Diana decided to try sparking up some conversation again.
“Did you guys finish your history presentation?”Diana asked with a smile.
“Yeah.” Celeste sighed.
“That’s good. It’s midterms this week so I don’t have anything to grade for my classes. Do you want to go do something? Maybe the mall? We can get lunch after?” She offered and Celeste just sighed.
“No, we stayed up late so I’m tired.”
“Oh, OK. That’s…that’s fine.” Diana said and Celeste just turned to the window again and Diana nodded, taking the hint that she still didn’t want to talk to her. She was doing her best to swallow down the lump in her throat, but this really sucked.
Celeste’s heart lurched in her chest when she heard her mom let out a quiet, but shaky exhale. She did feel bad, but she was upset and she didn’t want to get in a fight like the last time, so she’d rather just shut up until she had the right word. When they got home they both went their separate ways. Celeste was spending her time just catching up on some show a classmate had recommended to her and just doing nothing, she was very distracted though thinking about her mom and what she could say to her. She didn’t want to make her feel sad, but she wasn’t sure what she could say right now. Maybe she could talk to her tomorrow after meeting with Dr. Styles.
*********
Diana had beelined to the balcony and nestled herself into the little bench she had out there, it was her comfort spot. But even that was now something that had Harry all over it. Figuratively, but also literally, as she grabbed one of the pillows to hug she saw his ID for the university beneath it and sighed, it also had the faint scent of his cologne. Well now she had to return this to him somehow he would need it so that he wouldn’t get charged for parking on the campus, she couldn’t very well give it to Celeste to return to him the next day…or maybe she could weave a little story together about finding it on campus or something…but she didn’t want to lie to Celeste. She sighed loudly and slid the ID card into her hoodie pocket before she leaned back and just let all the tears she had been holding back from the night before come out.
The truth was that Diana suddenly felt very alone. She couldn’t, well wouldn’t, talk to her parents about parenthood. She had no other friends who were parents just yet. And the one person she had been talking to didn’t even have kids, but he was a therapist to her own kid. She felt like no one could really help her and in a sense it was true. Yes, there are overarching themes in having a kid and being a parent, but every person is different and even the advice you’re given is subjective! She was all alone and she wished that she had Wesley here to help. He was so patient and great at communicating, especially when he was frustrated. He would be so great at this. She sunk lower against the pillows and just laid there for a little and let it all out. Sometimes a good cry was a great way to clear one’s head.
*********
After binging two hours worth of a show Celeste was hungry for lunch and she decided that she wanted to sort of extend an olive branch to her mom in preparation for talking to her properly after therapy the following day. So she got out of bed and headed over to her mom’s bedroom. She knocked a few times and there was no response, she tried once more and again silence, so she opened the door a bit and peeked in and she saw that the curtains to her balcony were billowing in the breeze, so she must’ve been out there. So she stepped in and headed out towards the balcony and saw her mom curled up with a pillow to her chest. She frowned when she saw the dried up tears staining her cheeks. So she reached out towards her arm and gave her a light nudge. Diana immediately opened her eyes and Celeste noticed that they were swollen and a bit red.
“Is everything OK, sweetheart?” Diana asked, her voice was a bit raspy.
“Yeah. Ummm, I was wondering if you wanted to get lunch from that kebab place we like?” Celeste asked.
“I’m not really up for it right now, mamita.” She sniffled and Celeste felt a knot form in her throat at the rejection. “But you can order in if you want.” She assured. Diana was in an awful head space and had no idea that this was the olive branch, otherwise she would’ve jumped at the opportunity.
“Yeah, OK. I’ll do that.” Celeste said and then left right away with tears brimming in her eyes. She felt awful for making her mom cry. She went to her room and just ordered for the food to be delivered and she did not come out of there until the next morning when it was time to go to school.
Celeste was quiet on the entire car ride to school and well, her mom had given up on trying to strike up a conversation with her by now. So she left the car silently and headed towards the entrance already dreading her day. She was cramping and Megan was back from her suspension. She was in absolutely no mood to deal with anyone’s misdirected anger. She just wanted to go home and sleep.
Everything was going rather well for the first half of the day even if Geri wasn’t there today - her dinner the night before had apparently made her sick. It sucked because they had every class together. Megan had just glared at her throughout the day when they would coincide classes, but she hadn’t approached her. Ozzy was around and kept an eye out for her, even walked her to and from classes just in case. And now she was in her second to last class of the day, French. She liked it, it wasn’t too challenging for her yet and Mr. Corbin was very kind and helpful. He made things fun, so she always enjoyed his class - like now. He was having them do mad-libs but in French and they had all been laughing so much and with one loud laugh she instantly froze as she felt a particularly strong cramp hit her. She winced a bit, but carried on paying attention in class, she could go get on a new pad and some medicine from the nurse after class.
There were 10 minutes left of class and Mr. Corbin was walking up and down the aisles waiting for the students to finish their assignments and his eyes darted near the front of the aisle he was in as Celeste started to stand, presumably to place the assignment on his desk. But as soon as she did it was hard to miss the giant, red stain on her light jeans. The second Celeste moved she realized what was going on and then she felt Mr. Corbin’s hand on her shoulder.
“Celeste, just sit.” He said quietly and she glanced up to his eyes with concern.
“But I-”
“I know.” He said softly with a knowing look in his eyes and she was mortified, she wanted to cry, “I’m gonna text Ms. Alvarez, OK. Just stay here.” He assured and she nodded with tear-filled eyes. Mr. Corbin grabbed her assignment and hurried to his desk to text the nurse. Celeste stayed put and since Geri wasn’t there today the seat behind her was vacant, thankfully, so she wasn’t all up in someone’s face like that. She nervously glanced around to see if anyone else had caught sight of what happened and as she looked over her shoulder she caught sight of Megan who was furiously typing on her phone under her desk and then their eyes met and she sputtered on a laugh. Celeste felt the tears starting to pool at her waterline, this could not be any worse. It seemed like ages before the bell rang and as everyone else filtered out Ms. Alvarez came in with a sympathetic look in her eyes and that is what made Celeste finally start to cry and Mr. Corbin hurried out of the classroom to give them a little space.
“Oh! Don’t cry, honey!” Ms. Alvarez, the nurse cooed kindly, “It happens to all of us at some point.” She assured and Celeste sniffled.
“Ummm, I think someone took a picture.” She hiccuped, “That’s why I’m crying.” She explained and Ms. Alvarez frowned.
“Do you know who?” She asked and still nervous from Megan’s friends threats she shook her head.
“I just saw some of the kids sitting in the back laughing and on their phones.” She said and Ms. Alvarez sighed.
“Little assholes.” She said quietly and Celeste’s eyes went wide, “Pardon, that’s just mean. But they were probably just making fun. Don’t worry.” She said and Celeste nodded as she sniffled again, “Alright, let’s have you stand. I brought a hoodie for you to wrap around your waist from the lost and found.” She said handing it over and Celeste grabbed it and stood up carefully and then glanced back and saw that she had even leaked onto the plastic chair a bit by now.
“Oh my god.” She groaned in total embarrassment.
“Hey, it’s fine. It’ll come right off.” Ms. Alvarez assured and Celeste nodded through her crying. “I’ve contacted your next teacher to have you excused from class. I know the locker room showers aren’t ideal, but I have a pass that you can take to Miss Phillips so that you can get cleaned up. Do you have pads or tampons and extra clothes in your gym locker?”
“Ummm yeah, both.” Celeste said and Ms. Alvarez nodded.
“OK, good.”
“Can I at least help you clean this?”
“It’s alright. We have to do certain steps to disinfect if it’s a bodily fluid. I’m gonna be here for a little bit.” She said and Celeste groaned and Ms. Alvarez chuckled, “Don’t worry, it’s not an issue, it’s just the protocol we need to follow. Blood’s a biohazard.”
“Right.” She sighed, “Thank you, Ms. Alvarez.” Celeste said and the woman smiled.
“Of course, honey. S’why I’m here. Stop by later if you need anything else, OK?” She said kindly and Celeste nodded before she slowly made it out of the classroom and towards the locker room. She gave her note to the gym teacher, Miss Philips, who kindly found a plastic bag for Celeste’s pants and then she hurried to get washed up. She decided to wait the rest of the time in the nurse’s room and meanwhile searched through social media and found nothing. Which was definitely a huge relief, maybe she was just being paranoid. Maybe the suspension had actually set Megan straight and she would no longer be giving her any problems. She was still a jerk so she was probably texting her friends about what had happened because she certainly saw. But there was technically no crime in having private conversations, even if the topic was humiliating someone else. When it was time to go Celeste thanked Ms. Alvarez once more and hurried to the pick-up spot where her mom usually was waiting for her.
“Hey sweetheart, how was your day? What’s that?” She then asked as she saw Celeste drop the plastic bag on the floor of the passenger side and she sighed.
“I had an accident. A bad one.” She mumbled.
“Oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I’m glad you had extra clothes with you.”
“Just my gym stuff.”
“But still. If that ever happens again you let me know, I’d be more than happy to come down and bring you whatever you need.”
“I know.” Celeste responded and Diana offered a smile, it was small, but at least hopeful.
“Are you still up for therapy? I can call Dr. Styles to cancel.” She said and Celeste shook her head.
“It’s fine, I’d really like to talk to him.”
“Oh, OK. Are you hungry?”
“Yeah.”
“OK, you tell me where and we can pick something up before your appointment.” Diana said and Celeste nodded as they took off. Her appointment was at 4pm, so they had a bit of time before Celeste had to see Harry. “Dr. Horner said that you should be able to get back to the jazz combo next week. If you want to try having your guitar lesson on Friday to see how everything feels I can get in touch with Justin?” She offered.
“Yeah, that’d be good.” Celeste said lowly.
“Sounds good.” Diana smiled. When they pulled up to Harry’s office building she put the car in park snd Celeste glanced over at her somewhat expectantly.
“Are you coming in with me?” Celeste asked and Diana rolled her lips together.
“D-do you want me to?” She asked.
“If you want to.” Celeste responded.
“Yeah, OK. Let’s go up.” Diana said and Celeste smiled a bit. Diana felt that sitting all alone in his waiting room would be the best opportunity to return his ID card without having to have a conversation with him. As always, they were a bit early and were just sitting around waiting until they heard the other door close and soon Harry was stepping out into the waiting room and smiling as he greeted Celeste.
“Hi! Ready to get to work?” He asked her and she nodded as she stood from her seat, “Excellent. C’mon back.” He said with a smile and didn’t even spare Diana a glance, which made her heart lurch in her chest. Was he mad at her? It shouldn’t have made her upset, but it did. Finally he acknowledged her before he slipped into his office. “Diana, nice to see you.” He said politely and she looked at him with some confusion for a moment.
“Ni-” she was cut off as he turned around and closed the door before she could even get her pleasantry out. She sighed in defeat and that overwhelming feeling of loneliness slowly started to possess every bit of her heart and mind. She bit her bottom lip hard to stop herself from crying. She then exhaled harshly and dug through the pocket in her bag to grab his ID card and stood and set it down on the reception desk in the waiting room and then she sat back down and decided that he wasn’t worth her tears.
*********
Harry’s heart was pounding out of his chest as he shut the door on Diana. The look in her eyes made him feel so guilty, but this is how things should have always been. He started to second guess it and it was making him anxious. Too anxious to treat someone, he just needed a minute to ground himself.
“I’m gonna use the bathroom really quick, just get comfortable OK?” He said to Celeste and she nodded as she plopped down in her usual spot and Harry rushed into the adjoining bathroom in there and started to just work on some breathing exercising to relax.
Meanwhile Harry used the bathroom Celeste pulled out her phone and was a bit confused as she saw that she had about 50 Instagram notifications. Her stomach flipped and twisted with anxiety. She opened up the application and saw that a bunch of people were tagging her in comments about her being disgusting and sad and pathetic, that she needed to die. Her eyes started welling up and against her better judgement she went to the original post. It was an anonymous account but the only post on the grid was a multi-picture post with her face on the first frame. It was altered to have her eyes scribbled over and two horns drawn on her head. She swiped to the next picture and it was a short clip of the moment she started to rise from her seat in French.
“Oh my god.” She whispered as she started to cry. As she saw this, the owner of the account posted a story and she clicked on it and immediately started to sob, it was a poll that said “Should Celeste Beltran kill herself? Definitely or Yes!” and the sickest part is that people had started to vote on it. She was angry and sad and hurt and she immediately felt her hands growing shaky and clammy.
The next story was asking how she should do it and it was then that she realized this was happening in real time. People were answering because the story kept getting longer. As she clicked through, reading the horrific things people were saying, her breathing started to get really shallow and she felt like her chest was being compressed. She dropped her phone on the spot beside her and put her hands over her chest as she started to hyperventilate. Her throat and chest burned from the lack of air in her lungs and she started to feel nauseous. Just then Harry stepped out of the bathroom and his smile dropped as soon as he saw Celeste in the middle of what looked like a panic attack. Her smaller body was trembling as she cried and gasped for whatever oxygen she could get. He rushed over and sat on the coffee table before her.
“Celeste.” He said as calmly as possible and her terrified eyes met his own, “Celeste, calm down. Look at me. Look right at me.” He encouraged but the lack of air to her brain was not allowing her to focus or understand anything at the moment. She felt like she was going to die, it hurt and burned so much. “Shit.” Harry sighed as he grabbed one of her hands from over her chest and squeezed it gently, “Hey, breathe with me. I’m right here, Celeste. I’m right here.” He said softly and she choked on a sob.
“I-I can’t.” She wheezed weakly as she continued hyperventilating.
“I know it’s hard, Celeste. But it’s going to pass.” He assured her and she gasped shallowly, he could see her face starting to go red. He needed to ground her soon or she would pass out from not getting enough oxygen. He looked around and remembered that she had said something about the candle he had burning the first time she had come in. Harry let go of her hand and rushed over to bring it over, “Remember this? You said it smelled like one your mum has.” He said and her eyes were darting around the room, “Try and smell it.” He said extending it to her and she took it with shaky hands and tried her best, “I know there’s a lot of noise happening in your head, but what does this remind you of? Are there any memories that are trying to surface? Focus on those, let them come forward.” He encouraged her calmly and she put down the candle and closed her eyes, trying to do as he said but she continued to sob uncontrollably, “C-celeste,” he stammered starting to get nervous at her lack of response. Suddenly her eyes blinked open, all swollen and bloodshot and focused right on his.
“P-please.” She gasped, “Help me.” She wheezed and he frowned. Everything started getting blurry for her and her ears started ringing. She could see that Dr. Styles was saying things to her, but she could hardly hear him over the ringing in her ears.
“I’m trying but you need to match my breathing. You need to slow down a little bit.” He tried to coach her through and then he saw her eyes starting to blink slowly. Her field of vision was starting to grow dark and she could see him start to panic. He needed to get Diana, now.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” Harry muttered as he hurried to her side and just pulled her into his chest to prevent her form falling if she passed out, “D-diana!” He shouted at the top of his voice in a panic, “Fuck!” He sighed as he felt Celeste’s body lean further into his, “I’ve got you, petal.” He rushed out an encouragement to Celeste, “Diana!” He shouted again and the door burst open and she rushed into the room.
“Oh my god!” She exclaimed in concern when she saw Celeste in Harry’s arms. She rushed over immediately and sat at the coffee table before them with tearful eyes, not really sure what was going on.
“She’s having a panic attack.” Harry informed, “We need to snap her out of it, she’s literally about to pass out.” He explained and Diana nodded. She had no idea what to do with her this far gone. The one time she had a panic attack her mother gave her a slap across the face to get her to breathe again. Diana’s tears started to fall at the memory, she would never do that to her daughter. She shook away the memory and reached for Celeste’s hand and squeezed it hard.
“Sweetheart, I’m here. I’m right here.” Diana cried softly, “Please look at me.” She said as she gently stroked the side of her face that wasn’t buried in Harry’s chest. Her terrified eyes glanced to hers, “Good. That’s good, mamita.” She encouraged her and then placed Celeste’s hand over her chest, “Let’s breathe together. We’re all gonna take a breath together, OK?” She said and then glanced up to Harry who nodded, “Ready? One, two, and breathe.” Diana coached her and Celeste took a shallow and shaky breath.
“That’s good, petal.” Harry mumbled softly against her head, “Let’s go again.” He said and Diana counted down again, and they did this a few more times until Celeste was able to slow her breathing enough that she was coming out of the panic attack. Her body was still trembling, and she was still crying inconsolably, but she was out of danger. Harry started to loosen his hold on her but she clung tighter to him, “We’re not going anywhere, petal.” He soothed her, “Just gonna grab you some water, OK? I’m still here. Your mum’s still here.” He said softly and she slowly started to release him. When Harry got up Diana took his seat and Celeste immediately curled into her chest as she sobbed.
“I’m sorry.” She hiccuped, “I’m so sorry.” She said a few times.
“For what, mamita? You’ve done nothing wrong.” Diana assured her quietly. Harry then sat at the edge of the coffee table like he had been initially with a water bottle in his hands. Diana glanced up at him briefly before she broke eye contact.
“F-for making y-you sad.” She whimpered, “I-i’ve been s-so mean t’you.” She sobbed and Diana tutted.
“I forgive you, mamita.” She hummed as she rocked her body a bit, “I do get sad when you ignore me and shut me out like that, especially when I don’t know what I’ve done wrong, but we all need space sometimes. We just need to learn how to talk to each other better, specially when we’re upset at each other. We’ll do better next time.” She assured softly and Celeste choked a bit on her tears as she nodded, “Alright. Have some water.” Diana encouraged and Harry opened up the bottle before handing it to Celeste who had a few sips before she just exhaled loudly, much calmer than before, “Ya esta.” She whispered against Celeste’s head and then kissed her as she sniffled. They gave her a few minutes before Harry spoke up again.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” He asked, still sitting at the edge of the coffee table and she sighed shakily.
“I uh- I need t-to show you both something.” Celeste whispered.
**********
Both Harry and Diana were horrified as they saw what that account had posted about Celeste. As Diana read through the suggestions people were giving on how her own daughter should take her life she couldn’t help but feel her stomach churn.
“Excuse me.” She whispered as she hurried into the bathroom in the corner of the room. She swung the door back with whatever strength she had left in her body before she just fell to her knees harshly and started to vomit. She couldn’t help it. Everything in her body hurt. Celeste was an extension of her heart and soul outside of her body, everything that hurt her child, hurt her as well. Her body was trembling as she sobbed and another wave of nausea hit her and she threw up again. Once the spell passed she reached for the toilet paper with trembling hands and ripped off a bit to wipe at her mouth before she flushed everything away. She knew it was gross, but she didn’t care right now as she leaned on the seat and sobbed as quietly as she could. She needed to get it together for Celeste, but no one had ever prepared her for something like this. This hurt as much as when she got the call about Wesley and as the memories came back she started to cry so hard her head was throbbing.
August, 2005
Diana woke up to the sound of her cell phone ringing loudly under her pillow. She groaned as she looked at the digital clock on the bedside table and it read 2am - she’d only been asleep about an hour. She reached under her pillow and flipped open her phone when she saw it was Sione. Wes and his friends probably ended up getting hammered and needed her to go pick them up from the party they had been at.
“Hello?”
“Diana!” The voice on the other side of the line was panicked.
“Hey.”
“It’s Sione!” He was panting.
“What’re you doing with-”
“There was an accident.” He cut her off and Diana immediately sat up. “It’s not good, Di. He’s not responding.” Sione swallowed thickly, she could hear the stress in his voice.
“Where are you?”
“They’re trying t-to get him out but…oh fuck…fuck!” Sione wept.
“Sione, what’s happening?!” Diana shouted in desperation, “Where are you?” She pleaded as he jumped out of bed, “Answer me! Please!” She shouted as the hot tears streamed down her face.
“Why are you stopping!?” She heard a voice that sounded like Micah’s shouting in the background.
“Please, help him!” Sione’s voice came through, though not directly on the speaker and for a few moments there was silence. She felt her heart racing and her stomach turning in anticipation. Her skin was covered in goosebumps as she listened for anything, “Wes is dead.” Sione whimpered into the phone and Diana suddenly couldn’t breathe. The phone fell from her hands and she stumbled across her room to get to her purse, she needed to go find him. She was barely breathing as she burst out of her bedroom in her pajamas, not seeing where she was going so she crashed into a table and knocked over a few things. She was sobbing so hard as she flicked on the lights and then her parents’ bedroom door flew open and her mom and dad were in the hallway looking angry and confused.
“Are you drunk?!” Her father asked angrily and she was frozen.
“Diana, contestale a tu papa!” Her mother, Regina, berated her, insisting that she respond to her father, but how could she when she couldn’t even breathe. She fell to her knees as she hyperventilated, “Que te pasa?!” Her mother came over to her in concern.
“N-no puedo respirar.” She whispered as she sobbed.
“Diana!” She shouted again as she looked to her father, “Mirame!” Her mother shouted, but her eyes were darting everywhere but her mom’s, there was no comfort there for her.
In her frustration, from her lack of response Regina’s hand came up and delivered a harsh smack to Diana’s face. The shock of the pain stinging and radiating through her face made her gasp in enough air and instead of responding to the plethora of questions bombarding her she just let out the most painful wail. She had never made a sound like that. It was at least 15 minutes before she was able to tell her parents what happened and her dad drove her to the location Sione finally disclosed.
When they arrived she ran out of the car and all she could hear was Gloria screaming in pain, so she ran up to the tape only to see Gloria reached for the coroners as they wheeled a black bag to their van. Darrell was trying to hold her back despite his own crying. Diana started sobbing when she saw the state of Wesley’s car and her hands came up to her mouth as she started to sob again. When she looked around she saw Sione and Micah sobbing on the sidewalk and she rushed over and theY immediately stood and hugged her.
“What happened?” She asked through her tears.
“The guy in the truck was fucked up and ran a red.” Micah sobbed, “We were just a minute behind him!” Micah explained monotonously as he shook his head, in complete shock.
“W-when we ran over to check on him, we could barely tell…” Sione said softly with a blank stare and Diana started crying harder, “The firefighter said that he died with the impact so he didn’t suffer.” He swallowed thickly.
Maybe knowing that made Sione feel better, but it didn’t make Diana feel better. It made her think about how unprepared he was to go. He didn’t know that he would never see his family or friends again, he was just taken in the blink of an eye. She was just lost in her thoughts when the police car’s lights came on and she saw the man from the other car sitting in the back seat, basically unscathed, the only visible injury to him was a bandage over his nose. Suddenly her entire soul just darkened with hatred. She had never wished ill on anyone, but she did that man. She hated him and she probably would for the rest of her life.
**** Flashback Over ****
“Hey,” Harry’s voice and hand on her shoulder caused her to turn her head towards him, “Are you alright?” He asked gently. And as she looked into his eyes, so beautiful, light, and full of concern and empathy for her, she recalled why she had chosen to be alone all these years; it was fear. She never wanted to feel the pain that she had felt that day. She never wanted to give her heart to anyone again just to lose them. And as his gestures of comfort started to warm her heart she abruptly reared back, putting distance between them.
“Please don’t touch me.” She whispered and Harry’s own eyes were filled with hurt at her sudden rejection. He could see that this was so much more than what had just happened and it made him feel concerned for her; he just wanted to make sure she was OK.
“I’m sorry.” He apologized immediately, “Can I get you anything?” He asked and she shook her head.
“I just need a minute. I’m fine.” She assured.
“Diana, you can tell me.” He said quietly.
“Harry, I’m fine.”
“Diana.” He just said and she grew irritated at his insistence.
“I’m not your charity case to fix! Please, just give me a moment!” She spat in irritation and he frowned. She wanted to apologize to him but she couldn’t, he needed to stay away. Far, far away from her.
“Fine.” He said flatly before standing up and leaving the bathroom.
After a few more minutes she stood up and rinsed her mouth and wiped under her eyes before she headed back out. Celeste and Harry were talking about what happened and they both stopped when she stepped back out.
“I’m sorry, that was just really upsetting. We need to take pictures of that before they take that down.” She said and Harry turned to Celeste and nodded.
“She’s right.” He said to Celeste. Diana took photos of everything that had been posted. When she looked at the time it was barely 4:30, the school administration office was still open.
“Sweetheart, I need to show Principal Whittaker. This is…so messed up. This is about your life now and I know you’re not happy about having told before but this has gone way too far.” Diana said to Celeste and she sniffled and nodded.
“I know, mom.” She responded lowly and Diana nodded.
“Dr. Styles is gonna talk to you about this and I’m gonna be right out there for a few minutes, I need to call the school office before they close.” Diana said and they both nodded Diana headed out to the reception area and dialed immediately, as soon as the line stops ringing she perked up.
“Ethan?” She asked before he even got a word in.
“Uh, yes, this is he.” The young man spoke.
“Hi, this is Diana Beltran, Celeste’s mom.” She said.
“Hi Ms. Beltran, how can I help you.”
“Something else happened to my daughter, something worse and I need to see Mrs. Whittaker first thing tomorrow, is that possible?”
“I’m so sorry, let me check he schedule.” He said and she heard him typing away.
“OK, yeah she’s free at 8:30.”
“Perfect. And we might need that girl, Megan and her parents to be there too.”
“May I asked what happened so that I can leave a note?” He asked.
“I’m emailing her what we found as we speak, I’m CC’ing you as well.” She said.
“OK, I’ll keep an eye out. I’ll let her know as well.”
“Thank you, Ethan. I appreciate it.”
“Of course, Ms. Beltran. We’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow.” She said and hung up. She finished attaching all of the evidence to her email and proceeded to take a few more deep breaths before knocking on Harry’s office door before stepping inside after he called for her to come in. “I’m seeing her first thing tomorrow.” Diana said as she stepped in, “Would you like to go with me?” She asked Celeste as she walked further in.
“I’d rather not even go to school.” Celeste sighed and Diana nodded.
“Yeah, you’re not stepping foot anywhere near that school until somebody answers for this.” She stated firmly. Harry was going to suggest that Celeste take the day, but it seemed that Diana already knew what to do. Celeste’s comfort and safety was the most important thing right now, and being anywhere those horrific kids was not in her best interest. After what had just happened Harry needed to assess for suicide, maybe she hadn’t even been thinking that before, but when a group of people on the internet is saying that you’re better off dead the thought just might cross your mind.
“Celeste, I need to ask you some difficult questions. Is it OK, to do that with your mom here?” Harry asked and Celeste glanced up at Diana.
“Don’t worry about me. You do whatever you prefer, sweetheart. I know Dr. Styles will take good care of you.” Diana assured and Harry glanced to her. Her vote of confidence after everything that had unfolded today was much needed. But despite him trying to gain her attention her eyes didn’t leave from Celeste’s figure on the couch for a second. As she thought about it for a moment, Celeste glanced between Diana and the floor a few times.
“Ummm, I think alone.” She responded and Diana nodded.
“OK, I’ll be right outside.” She assured and Celeste nodded and Diana stepped out quietly and closed the door behind her. She didn’t take offense or feel shut out, she knew that some things were just hard to talk about in front of your parents. She had a good idea of the direction in which Harry’s questions were going and she knew that she would not be able to maintain her composure.
********
Celeste let out a long exhale when her mom walked out and she pulled one of the pillows on the couch into her arms and hugged it tight.
“This would be nicer if you had that kitty from last time.” She mumbled and Harry smiled softly at her.
“You know, I was thinking the same thing. I think I’ll go pick her up of she hasn’t been adopted yet.” He said and Celeste nodded with a small smile, “How are you feeling about all of this?”
“I don’t know…a lot of ways.” she said honestly, “Confused, mad, sad…” she threw out a few words, “Am I that awful that people want me to die?” She asked as a few more tears fell from her eyes. It was a miracle that she even had more tears left. And well, Harry’s own eyes started to well up as he saw this 14 year old girl sitting before him and dealing with something that not even a grown adult was equipped to handle.
“What do you think?” Harry asked and she rolled her lips together for a moment.
“I don’t think I am…I haven’t done anything to anyone.” She said and Harry sighed.
“But you’re still being targeted like this, does that…make you feel like maybe they have a point?” He asked as gently as possible and she shook her head.
“I don’t think I should die for nothing. But I also think that…” she swallowed thickly, “i-if this is how things are going to be for me I would rather die.” She confessed in a small voice.
“And how would dying fix this situation?” He asked and she sniffled.
“Well for one, all of this would stop.” She sputtered on her tears and he nodded in understanding, “I wouldn’t have to be scared of what’s gonna happen every day. But also…maybe if I actually did die the people who did this would feel guilty.”
“How would they know?”
“I would make sure they knew it was their fault.” She said with a deep frown on her face.
“I see your point, but inversely, if you killed yourself - that’s what we’re talking about here, right?” he asked and she nodded nervously, “How is that justice for you? Where’s the satisfaction in that for you?” He challenged her and she frowned. “What if you do it and they don’t care? Or they spend their whole lives regretting it? You’d never know that, would you?” He asked.
“I guess not.” She accepted sadly, “But I’m also tired of fighting all of this.” She explained.
“Then don’t fight it.” He said simply.
“And pretend like none of this has ever happened? I’ve tried ignoring them already.” She frowned and Harry shook his head.
“No, don’t ignore them. Show them that you’re untouchable. Go in there and be who you are. Show them just how strong, brave, and beautiful you are. Inside and out. Show them what your mum sees, what I see, what your friends see.” He said with a small smile and she huffed out a laugh.
“Would that really work?” She asked and he smiled.
“Honestly, I don’t know. But it will help you.” He said and she sighed. “ I don’t care about everyone else and what they do, we’re here to help you. And if we let others dictate and define our us, our worth, or our feelings it only gives them more power over us, Celeste. Now, that doesn’t mean you should shut off your emotions, it just means choose who gets to see your vulnerable side. Show people like that girl, Megan, that she can’t make you feel anything she wants when she wants. You get to decide how what she does makes you feel. And you get to decide when and who you share those feelings with.”
“So don’t give her the satisfaction, basically?” She asked and he smiled.
“Yes. Exactly that. Why spend so much time trying to figure out what’s going on in someone else’s head when we’ve got so much going on in our own?” He asked and she hummed and nodded and then she sighed as she slumped back against the couch.
“Why does it have to be so freaking hard?” She pouted, feeling a tad discouraged still and he shrugged.
“I don’t know.” He said honestly, “But this is one thing I do know, awful things happen, but that doesn’t mean that good things aren’t happening.” He said, “We live in a wonderful world. A world where terribly beautiful and terribly chaotic things can happen. And when you’re on the crappy, chaotic end of things,” he said and she giggled, which made him chuckle, “You just need to find support in people or things that keep your eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel.” He encouraged and she smiled, “So, let me give you a little homework assignment.” He said and she sighed, “I know, as if you don’t already have enough, but you have as whole week to think about this.” He said, “Next time we meet I want you to have come up with 5 people, places or things that keep you focused on the light at the end of the tunnel. Now you might already be thinking of those things, which is great, but when we meet next I want you to tell me why you chose them.”
“OK.” She said and he smiled.
“Good. And I don’t want you coming in here and saying “my mum because she loves me”, alright? None of that surface level BS, yeah?” He teased and she laughed lightly.
“Alright.”
“Promise?” He asked and she nodded.
“Promise.” She agreed with a smile.
“Good.” Harry finished, “Before you go, is there anything else that we should talk about?” He asked and she nibbled on her lip.
“Ummm…how can I tell my mom what we talked about last time?” She asked nervously.
“You trust her, don’t you?” He asked and she nodded, “Then just tell her how you feel. There’s nothing wrong about feeling things, it’s how we use those feelings that can get us into trouble.” He said and suddenly it felt like he was talking to himself, “And like she said earlier, if you just need a little bit of time or space to figure out how you’re feeling or why you’re feeling some way, you can say that too.” He assured. “You can say you’re upset and then say you’re not sure why. It happens to all of us sometimes.” He explained.
“Really? Even you?” She asked and he smiled.
“Yeah. Between you and me, I can be a bit of a grouch sometimes for no reason at all.” He said lowly and she giggled, “But specially when I’m hungry. Don’t tell anyone though, please.” He tagged in at the end and she was smiling now as she shook her head.
“I won’t. Your secret’s safe with me.” She assured.
**********
It was a little bit past 5pm when Harry’s office door opened and Diana stood from her seat. Celeste made her way out looking a lot more at ease than before, which was a relief. She walked over to Diana while Harry also came out of his office.
“Did you pay him?” Diana asked and Celeste’s eyes went wide as se reached into her backpack’s side pocket and grabbed the money and turned back to Harry.
“Sorry, I always forget.” She said bashfully and Harry chuckled.
“It’s alright.” He assured and she smiled, “I’ll see you next week, OK? Don’t forget your homework.” He said and she smiled.
“I won’t.” She assured and hurried over to Diana’s side.
“Diana, a word before you go?” He said and she turned to Celeste.
“Sweetheart, can you wait outside, I’ll be right there.” She said to Celeste who just nodded.
“Bye, Dr. Styles.”
“Bye. And Celeste, I’m really proud of you for not giving up. You can do this.” He smiled with encouragement and she nodded and smiled as she headed out. Once the door swung shut Harry’s smile dropped, “I just wanted to tell you that if you feel that the school doesn’t do enough about this Rebecca is a fantastic lawyer, I can give you her card.” He said and Diana nodded.
“Yeah, sure.” She nodded and Harry rounded the desk in the reception area and pulled open a drawer and grabbed a business card from in there before handing it over.
“That’s it. She works like, all the time, and she really liked you. So I’m sure she’d be happy to help with anything.” He said and Diana nodded.
“OK, cool. Thanks.” She said cooly.
“And last thing, I ummm…I don’t know what happened in the bathroom, but if you ever need to talk-”
“You dropped your campus ID when you went to my place. I left it on the desk for you.” Diana cut him off and he frowned.
“Di, please-”
“I’m fine, Harry. Just leave it.” She cut him off again and started to turned to leave and Harry grabbed her hand, which made her frown.
“You’re not fine.” He said quietly, shaking his head, his eyes pleading with her to just be straight with him.
“How can you say that? You don’t even know me.” She stated, trying to maintain her old facade.
“I know you enough.” He said and she glanced up to the ceiling and sighed before looking back into his eyes.
“Look.” She said seriously, “More than anyone, you know how badly we’ve fucked up already. I get that you’re trying to be nice, but that’s how we got here in the first place.” She explained, “I don’t want anything to do with you apart from your business with Celeste.” She said sternly and he shook his head.
“Why are you so fucking stubborn?” He asked with a frown and she scoffed.
“Me? Why are you so stubborn?! I’m telling you to leave me alone, Harry. So leave me the fuck alone.” She said again and he shook his head as he bit down on the inside of his cheek to distract him from the pain in his chest, “Are we done here?” She asked more calmly.
“Yeah, we’re done.” He sighed.
“And Harry?”
“What?” He asked.
“Thank you for taking such good care of Celeste today. I wouldn’t have been able to help her alone.” Diana said and he shook his head.
“No, thank you. I called you in because I needed help.” He said, “You did all the heavy lifting.” He said with a half-smile on his face and she just nodded once.
“Bye.”
“Bye.” He said softly as he watched her walk out. Harry took a deep breath and exhaled before walking over to the front door and locking it up. What a fucking crazy afternoon…
*********
It was around 6pm when Principal Whittaker called Diana’s cellphone because she had just arrived at home and reviewed what Diana had sent over earlier in the afternoon. She was completely horrified and said that she had managed to get a hold of Megan’s mother and that they would both be in the office at 8:30am the following day. She informed Diana that she had not informed her what exactly this meeting was about, but that it was related to her suspension and that an apology towards Celeste needed to be discussed. She explained that she did that in fear that Megan would delete all evidence beforehand if she was indeed the one responsible for the anonymous account. Diana was grateful for that, but even she knew that kids these days were sly, so while Celeste had a shower she contacted Rebecca and asked what could be done about something like this.
Thankfully, Rebecca was extremely helpful. It was illegal to threaten someone’s safety online in the state of California. She gave her some more advice on how she could get the page taken down and even told her that if any other page popped up, she had a friend who was in the FBI now and she could have their analysts track down the person’s IP address through some back channels. Which Diana had no idea ho or what that even meant, but it was good to hear that. After her conversation with Rebecca, Diana also got showered and ready for bed. And as she towel-tried her hair, she heard Celeste call for her.
“Mom?”
“Come in, sweetheart,” Diana responded and she saw Celeste peek into the bathroom before she wandered inside.
“Can I sleep with you tonight?” She asked a bit bashfully and Diana smiled.
“Of course you can.” She assured as she set her towel down on the counter.
“OK.” Celeste smiled.
“I’m gonna do a mask, want to do one with me?”
“Yeah. Let me go grab by headband.” Celeste smiled before hurrying off.
A few minutes later they were propped up against Diana’s headboard and singing along to the opened credits of Grease. After the timer went off to get their masks off they each did their own skincare routine before they found themselves curled up in Diana’s bed while the movie played on. Per her request, Diana lightly scratched at Celeste’s back. She would do this to her all the time as a little kid to get her to get to sleep, she was probably 9 or 10 years old the very last time she had done this to Celeste, it was comforting for her as well. Diana was humming along to the “Look at me, I’m Sandra Dee” when Celeste spoke up.
“Mom?”
“Yes?”
“I ummm…I want to tell you why I was mad at you.” She said quietly and Diana reached under the pillow and turned the volume down a bit.
“OK.” She said and Celeste sighed and then rolled over to face her.
“Sometimes I feel like you don’t…care about me as much as you used to.” Celeste explained and Diana frowned. That’s the last thing any parent wants to hear from their child.
“What makes you think that?” She asked instead of getting defensive right away.
“Well…after you got your new job you’ve been really busy. I know you told me you would be busier, but I didn’t think it would be like this. And then you put me in guitar and I felt like you just did it to keep me busy and out of your way.” She explained, “We used to do more things together. More things like this.” She expressed, “And so last week when you told me that you had a date with someone I started thinking that if you got a boyfriend you wouldn’t have any time for me at all. And it made me sad and angry that you were maybe replacing me.” She confessed and Diana pouted.
“Oh, my sweet girl.” Diana sniffled as she gently ran her fingers over Celeste’s cheek, “No one could ever replace you. And I could never love anyone the way I love you. Not anyone in the entire world!” She said and Celeste smiled lightly, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that I was making you feel that way.” Diana apologized, “I just felt so bad for being more busy that I wanted to let you get involved in something that I knew you enjoyed, you know? That’s why I surprised you with he guitar lessons, I promise it wasn’t to keep you busy.” She assured, “However, you are right about us not spending as much time together. It’s my first year as a full-time faculty member and I’m still learning how to balance the work and everything else, and I’m not going to lie, it’s been hard. But I’m getting the hang of it! Trust me, I’ve missed spending more time with you.” She said.
“Me too.” Celeste whispered. “And what about the guy you’re dating?”
“I don’t think I’m going to date him anymore. Or anyone for that matter.” She said and Celeste frowned.
“Because of me?” She asked.
“No mamita, just… personal reasons, I guess. I don’t know.” she explained and Celeste nodded.
“OK.”
“OK? That’s it? No interrogation?” Diana smiled and Celeste giggled and shook her head.
“Dr. Styles says that it’s OK to not know things sometimes and that “I don’t know” is valid or something like that.” Celeste said and Diana chuckled.
“Yeah, he’s not wrong about that.” She agreed, “So you like him a lot, huh? Dr. Styles?”
“Yeah, he makes me feel better.” Celeste said and Diana smiled.
“That’s good. I’m glad.”
“Do you like him?” Celeste asked and Diana nodded.
“Yes, he’s very nice. I really like how well he gets a long with you and looks out for you.” Diana said.
“Do you think if I invite him to the spring jazz concert he would come?” Celeste asked and Diana sighed.
“I don’t know, sweetheart. Relationships with your therapist can be a bit tricky.” She said.
“Why?” Celeste asked and Diana hummed pensively.
“Well, because being a therapist is just weird.” She said with a smile and Celeste giggled, “Because people tell you everything about themselves, kind of like a friend, you know?” Celeste nodded, “But you’re paying them for that, so they’re not actually your friend even if it might feel like it.” She said and Celeste frowned, “Now, that doesn’t mean therapists don’t care for their patients, they really do! Like Harry- or Dr. Styles, he cares about you, a lot! I saw first hand today.” She explained to Celeste, “But the point of therapy is for them to be able help you figure out how to untangle the web in your mind, I guess? Does that make sense?” She asked and Celeste nodded.
“Dr. Styles did say something like that before. That we’re a team and that he’s just giving me tools to help me solve my own problems.”
“Exactly. So sometimes when they get a little too close or friendly with clients it can impair their judgement. Which isn’t good, they need to be objective.” She said.
“What’s objective?”
“Objective means…mmm, it’s similar to neutral. So they’re not supposed to have any personal feelings influencing how they help you.”
“How is that even possible?” She asked and Diana chuckled.
“I suppose with a lot of training, hard work, and experience.” She said with a shrug. “So all in all, I think it would be nice if you invited him. But I just don’t want you to feel disappointed if he declines.”
“Well if he says no maybe you can record one of the songs my ensemble plays and I can show it to him?” She suggested and Diana grinned.
“Yeah, we can definitely do that. I think he would like that.” She assured and Celeste smiled.
“OK.” Celeste hummed happily. They fell silent for a bit and then Celeste spoke up again, “Mom, when you do decide to date someone again I think you should go for someone like Dr. Styles. You know? Nice and smart, but who is also nice to me.”
“I would never date anyone who is not nice to you. And if I am ever with anyone and they are anything but amazing with you, please tell me, OK? You’re the most important thing to me in the whole world and if I ever am with anyone they would need to respect that and you.” She said and Celeste nodded, “Promise?”
“Promise.” Celeste hummed.
“I love you, cariño. With my whole, entire heart.” Diana said with a smile.
“I love you too, mom.” Celeste hummed softly.
Let me know what you think!
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5, 9, 12!
crab!! hi hi hi hi hi hiiiii~! ty for quastions :3
from fanfic asks for the new year
5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet?
aha, well. technically the first is mini heist!au but none of it is written that is in the shape of the final thing that i haven't already posted on here so i'm gonna cheat and say uh. wow huh okay then i kind of have no idea. ah! maybe my arthurcobb fic then! cos it sure won't be narrative!fic, lol!
here is a snippet from the current draft which is uhh three and a half years old (by which i mostly mean to say, there are a couple things in here i would write differently now.):
Arthur brings his coffee up to the counter where Dom has already deposited his onion rings and says, “Excuse me, can I purchase a — a temporary phone?” If he doesn't call it a burner maybe he will come off as more the kind of person he actually is. The cashier puts up a finger in question and Arthur nods but behind him Dom says firmly, “Two.”
Arthur turns, surprised. “Why — we don’t need two?” They’re traveling together, after all. Arthur’s not about to leave Dom alone, so it’s not like Dom will need his own phone. It’s not like Dom’s super functional, anyway. The three days he’d spent on Arthur’s couch before they read the news and had to leave town extremely suspiciously, he’d really just spent on the couch. “We don’t need two phones, Dom,” Arthur repeats.
“What if we get separated,” Dom points out. “How would we get in contact with each other again? You should have your own phone, too.” Arthur would rather not think about circumstances that would separate them. Dom says, “Arthur,” and it feels pointed.
Something like panic hollows Arthur’s chest. Things are already out of control, apparently. Two days into being on the run and apparently Dom can call these shots but he can’t be on the run by himself.
9. Short term goals… what do you hope to complete this week or in January?
ahaha actually, getting this ask made me decide that i'm going to try my absolute best to finish the project i've been calling "mini heist!au" (which ... at this point ... is just an au of heist!au without any heists in it, lmao) this month! i used answering this ask as my bribe for reading through all the existing material and drawing up a revision plan / new fic story structure actually. i'm not sure i'll be able to, i suspect there are 2-4 drafts and i simply do not write that fast (at least one from scratch based on a new outline, possibly a second from scratch, and then a second/third that's just like. content/theme/cadence/character arcs etc revisions. though that might get complex enough to be two drafts). but we'll see! there are still 24 days so at this current moment i am optimistic :3
12. Will you change anything about the way you edit or rewrite this year?
YES I SURE FUCKING WILL. I HAVE BEGUN IT ACTUALLY, mostly i'm continuing to test a thing i tried in december 2023 to see if it still works for projects that aren't the specific situation of the beginning of devotion (so far, yes!) anyway the way that process goes is like this (recipe below):
first, write a terrible draft. some scenes can just be a note of what needs to happen. ideally: expend as little fucking effort on this as possible bc like. almost none of this will stay. just write enough to get the vibes of what you're going for.
second, read through that draft taking notes of what you like or don't like (or, the way i phrase it for myself to make the goal clearer "what feels like it is aligned with my vision for the fic vs what isn't") but most importantly. WHY.
for me doing this second step has 2/2 turned into "here is a rough outline of the story, completely restructured" but also, with no ending (which is fine, i just have to trust that the ending will appear when more of the draft is written).
third, compile those notes on a new draft into a narrative-order outline (linear for me).
fourth, write the new draft.
fifth, try to do step 2 again. but what i found for the beginning of devotion and therefore what i'm to a certain extent expecting, is that i will just have a bunch of Ns/dislikes and then go. ah. because the things i dislike are too granular to require big-picture story structure changes now.
sixth, copy the most recent draft into a new doc. and read through and revise directly on the page. maybe title at some point so that revision stuff is aligned with the mood/tone/content/vibes/whatever of the title. and maybe come up with initial tags and a summary here also to make sure the vibes are all aligned. hopefully the content of the ending will become clear at this point and you'll draft that for the first or second time.
seventh, idk i like to do an out-loud readthrough bc reading cadence is important to me personally. and also i am scared to lose the skill of reading aloud considering i do it about zero times a year other than this.
that's it basically.
#hidey speaks#ask game#hidey talks fic#is that my tag lol#man my paragraphs used to be so chonkyyy#but also wow im kind of emotional ... some of my older writing is so fucking beautiful#in a way i tried to train myself out of pretty hard the last two years. and now mmm. i'm better at structure but#i'm not sure i know how to get some of that lyricism back
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(autumn in the city, random photos from the last few weeks)
saturday, 21. october 2023
i’m home, came back for the weekend to my hometown after a few weeks, to recharge batteries a bit, (to wash my laundry, since we still don’t have a washer at the flat), to breathe the clean air of the countryside for a change, to have a quiet night and a dreamless sleep
because i had a rough week or so, and it got bad in my head, i need to write down a few of the good things,
events:
catch-ups with my friends over the weeks: the boys, anna, jakub, terezie, karolina
5sos concert (12.10) (the best concert ever) (they were absolutely amazing and i’m so glad i impulsively bought the ticket)
signal festival prague (14.10) (so cool, met new people)
louis tomlinson concert (19.10) (he played chicago? oh my god?!) (still not over it) (the best concert ever, emotionally)
things i’ve treated myself with:
ring and earings at vietnamese sapa market (so pretty!)
five new books (i’m supposed to be on a book buying ban, but eh, ehmmm), the picture of dorian gray and selected plays by oscar wilde, diaries and the complete stories by franz kafka, and lastly, on the road by jack kerouac
salmon slices on sale (yummy)
steak tartare (tataráček) and beer at the pub near our flat with my flatmate after a long monday (the czech aesthetic, you wouldn’t get it)
bought me a louis tomlinson merch tshirt at the concert (so cool, my little bro approved)
fluffy scarf
honorable mentions:
my mate nomi, love her for always being down to skipping useless classes with me (it’s always like “u wanna skip?” “do u even have to ask?”) (or texting “not going to the first class, hold me a seat for the next one?” “not going either” “lmao nice”)
the phonecall with my little brother, when i helped him fry an onion for meat dumplings and he still buggered it at first, and before he finally managed it, i catched a bus from public laundry, had a 10’ ride, then walked to the flat, and even managed to hang the wet laundry (made my day, truly)
my flatmate kaja, for being my partner in crime, our texts when we’re only in the next room, our late night coffees at the kitchen, and for our understanding for each other because we’re the same mentally ill bitches
the one spliff with my best friend, dunno what we put in it other than normal, but it was goodah
fics i need to recommend because holy fuck:
written on the heart by who_la_hoop
pathological people pleaser by rweoutofthewoods
(and basically whatever fic those two wrote)
current songs on the loop:
ghost of you and take my hand by 5sos
quick reminder: to take care of yourself, to talk about your feelings, to try to enjoy the moments even when you’re not feeling great, to always try to get up from the bet in the morning, because it’s worth it, you’re worth it. and it’s hard, but it’s okay to struggle, you’re not alone.
also feel free to slide into my asks!
#so mad i cant put the video between the pictures#aaaa it looks so bad imma cry#but the video is omg i just need to share it#calums voice? omgggg#and luke#and ashtons drums#and mike#love them all#life update#concert#louis tomlinson#5sos#marauders#fic recs#jegulus fic rec#drarry fic rec#jegulus#drarry#mental health#apreciation post#take care of yourself#books#q#its ok to not be ok
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Ready Now: Part 2
Part 1 is here. Also available on A03
This errand had gotten a bit out of hand, to be honest. What had started as a quick trip just to grab some cheese had turned into hitting up six different stores spread out all across London. And sure, such a task was easier for Crowley than your average London resident, what with his ability to drive very fast with no repercussions and just move everything that inhibited him magically out of the way but still, once you'd hit up more than three stores, any errand was bound to start to drag. It's just, when he'd checked the third store and they still hadn't had Aziraphale's favorite, Saint Felicien, Crowley had known he was in for the long haul.
After all, Aziraphale had decided to stay home, saying, "No dear, I think I'll catch up on a bit of reading, that way I can pay more attention to you when you're back. And anyway, you already know what cheeses I like so I trust you." (Aziraphale had also kissed him goodbye, soft and warm and- but Crowley was busy and focused and resolutely not thinking about that right now.)
Trust. A difficult thing for any demon (even an ex-one) to know what to do with. But for Crowley, who had been both trusted and then not trusted (off and on) by a particular angel for thousands of years, it felt a bit like a test had just been accidentally put in his lap. And since nowadays Aziraphale… loved him (of all people) on top of all that, how could he do anything except perform the task as correctly as possible? (Crowley was well aware of the sunk cost fallacy (Hell would have loved it if they'd kept abreast of such modern stuff) but he's pretty sure that what he's doing right now doesn't count since it's not about the time or money he's put in but instead about making sure he does right by Aziraphale. Totally different, right?)
At least along the way he had gotten some good additional options (White Stilton, Caciocavallo Di Grotta, Gjetost, and Saint Nectaire) as well as two types of crackers, some assorted dried fruits and nuts and even a tomato onion jam that a store clerk had correctly convinced him was an excellent pair with white stiltons some ten years ago now. (He was glad he could still find it, never know with these tiny farms just how long they'll stay afloat.) It was in the sixth and final shop where he'd finally found his quarry, a buttery Saint Felicien, the only cheese Aziraphale had truly wanted (given the bottles of Chateauneuf du Pape they had to pair with it). Crowley had let out a sigh of relief, smiled probably a bit too genuinely at the cashier and returned back to the Bentley with his spoils, eager to get back home to his Angel as soon as possible.
***
Crowley is about halfway back to the bookshop when his phone rings. There are very few people it could be (and less he wants to talk to at the moment) but he answers anyway. "Hello?"
"Oh Crowley!" Aziraphale's voice rings out through the car and makes Crowley's stomach do a little flip. He can hear the smile, can imagine exactly what he looks like right now and it makes him annoyed that he's not already back at the bookshop. "Something truly amusing has occurred in your absence and I just couldn't wait-"
"Five minutes," Crowley cuts him off and hangs up. It should have been ten but he'll make it five. No need to keep his angel waiting any longer than that.
***
He pulls up the the curb outside "Give me Coffee or Give me Death" four and a half minutes later (A new record to be honest; Crowley definitely had put a bit too much effort into it) and rolls into the bookshop with his arms laden with all the makings of a pretty spectacular charcuterie board and a (frankly embarrassing) spring in his step. "Angel," he calls out, "I'm back. You would not believe how difficult it is to find good cheese in London today."
He pauses and waits for an answering greeting. When after a beat, none is offered, Crowley walks deeper into the bookshop and calls out again. "Aziraphale?" No answer still. He reaches out his senses and sure enough, Aziraphale is still here, somewhere amongst all the books. Must have just gotten distracted by something.
Crowley shifts his bags and takes off his sunglasses before following his feelings to where the greatest intensity of Aziraphale-ness is. He finds him puttering around on the second floor, his back towards him and his nose buried in a book. Crowley had thought over the years that he'd gotten terribly good at not feeling this way but now that they're together, he can't help but stop dead in his tracks and just stare. He is so unbelievably beautiful and he loves me. It makes his whole chest feel tight and warm. He nearly sets down his bags and wraps himself around Aziraphale's back but he doesn't. Wouldn't do to startle him.
He tries again. "Hey Angel," and he sounds unimaginably gone but that's okay, right? That's allowed now, what with the him loving you back thing.
Aziraphale doesn't turn around or look up. "You're back."
"Yeah, sorry that took a bit. Like I was saying, state of the cheese market in London's a bit sparse at the moment. Managed to get you some Saint Felicien though so, ya know, not a total loss."
Aziraphale seems pretty absorbed in whatever he's reading but at the mention of the Saint Felicien, Crowley can see him stand up a little straighter, his interest peaked. There's a beat and then he says, "Well, you better put it in the mini fridge for the moment. As you can see, I'm quite busy."
"Yeah, alright," Crowley shrugs. "Be right back." Crowley wonders what kind of busy it is and if it might just be the kind that wouldn't mind a bit of company draped all over him while he reads.
He heads downstairs and carefully places his spoils in the fridge so that nothing heavy is on top of anything soft and then heads back to Aziraphale. He's moved a little deeper into the shelves but Crowley just follows, leaning up against the nearest one so that he knows he's in Aziraphale's line of sight. Aziraphale turns just slightly more away as he reads.
Crowley frowns but then pushes it aside. Must be a very good book. He takes a deep breath to steady himself (embarrassing really) but then aims for casual with his tone. "What are you busy with anyway? Would it perhaps be the sort of busy that wouldn't mind a bit of… company?"
"It would mind actually," Aziraphale says, tone cold and even.
Crowley reels back just a bit. Is something wrong or? He wants you here, he told you he wants you here, he reminds himself, don't shout, don't run. "Alright, I'll just-" He considers for a moment what to do and having no specific ideas, just barrels on, "leave you to it."
Aziraphale's gaze flicks up at that for just a moment, his mouth set as a harsh line
"Unless," Crowley grits his teeth, "Look, is something wrong? If you're just, I don't know, really into that book, that's fine but I figured I'd check, seeing as we were going to eat cheese and drink wine and oh yeah, there was a funny story you were going to tell me-"
Aziraphale's gaze snaps up and his eyes are fierce. "Oh so now you're interested in my story, are you?"
Crowley feels suddenly very lost in this conversation. "Course." He squints and stammers for a moment before getting out, "Uhhhhh excuse me, did something… happen in the five minutes it took me to get here?"
"Not really. I just think it's interesting that you say you want to listen to me now when you hung up on me before. That's all." Aziraphale turns away and starts to head deeper down the row.
Crowley groans. He had, in fact, hung up on Aziraphale in the car, hadn't he? Stupid. He runs a hand down his face and curses himself. Sure, it had only been five minutes from the call to him showing up but hanging up is, in fact, hanging up and it clearly had made Aziraphale feel like shit. Crowley's such a fucking asshole, he can barely stand himself.
He scrambles after Aziraphale. "I'm sorry, Angel, I was selfish-"
"I mean who could blame you!" Aziraphale slams the book closed and turns around suddenly. They are now face to face and very close. "You were just doing what any sensible person would do, saving yourself from another one of my inane ramblings. Of course you cut me off-"
"That's not-" Crowley sucks in breath through his teeth. "I fucked this up alright but please, let me atleast try to apologize first, okay?"
Aziraphale backs up, sets the book on a nearby shelf, and adjusts his vest before giving Crowley a "well go on then" look.
Crowley sighs. "Where was I?" He looks up at the ceiling and what he's about to say comes rushing back to him as do his nerves. He swallows and then forces himself to meet Aziraphale's eyes. "Right, so you got it all wrong basically." Aziraphale opens his mouth to talk over him again but Crowley barrels on. "Let me finish. You're right that I hung up on you and I'm sorry about that. I fucked that up. But you're wrong about why. It's just," he grits his teeth and pushes through it. "I wanted to watch you talk, alright?" He gives a little shrug with his hands. "That's it."
"Excuse me?" Aziraphale's frown softens just slightly.
"It's just… when you talk about things you're excited about, you," he looks down at the ground before looking back up to meet Aziraphale's eyes defiantly, "You light up, like your whole face glows and you sort of, flit around and make little hand gestures and… you're gorgeous, is what you are." Crowley looks away and starts talking very quickly. "But making you wait was wrong even if my reason wasn't bad because I still made you feel like I didn't care and that's not true. I made a mistake and I'm sorry, alright? I'll do better. Next time, I'll let you tell me whatever you want, no matter where I am. It's not like there won't be plenty of other stories about other stuff you can tell me in person, right?"
Crowley finally forces himself to look back at Aziraphale and he looks stunned, a slight smile pulling at his lips. "Did you say… gorgeous?"
"Oh come on, Angel," Crowley shakes his head a little. "You've looked in a mirror before, yeah?"
"Yes," Aziraphale smiles even bigger, "but you've never called me gorgeous before?"
"Really?" Crowley shrugs but can feel his stomach do a flip. "Force of habit I guess. Turns out making absolutely sure you don't say something for thousands of years makes it awful hard to get into the habit of saying it again."
"Oh Crowley!" Aziraphale takes a step closer. His eyes are teary but he's beaming. "That long?"
"Why would I lie? To make myself look more like an idiot?"
Aziraphale takes another step closer. "And you really like watching me be excited that much?"
"Nnnn yeah, obviously." Crowley can feel the corners of his lips pulling up and he lets them.
Aziraphale wiggles happily. "Ohhhh Crowley! I'm sorry I got so testy and assumed the worst-"
"Nothing to apologize for. Like I said, I did it wrong. And now I know better."
"Alright, but I probably should have just said something too. I…" Aziraphale trails off and looks down at his hands before his eyes snap back up. "Oh never mind, where did that cheese get to anyway?" He starts to head towards the stairs.
Crowley watches him as he passes by, reads his body language and on impulse mostly, moves so that he's casually blocking his way.
Aziraphale startles a bit but stops trying to leave. "Yes?"
"Look, I'm not the best at this really but I feel like you're still avoiding something maybe? Like yes, it was rude of me and I won't do it again but-"
"No but necessary," Aziraphale says hurriedly. "It was rude, period."
"Right yes, but we've both had terrible phone manners with each other for years-"
"Which we should stop doing," Aziraphale interjects.
"Right, but what I'm saying is, was that it, really? Like why would you assume that I, of all people, wouldn't want to hear your story? I mean," Crowley swallows and lowers his voice, "I- love you, right? Did I do something else? Because if I did something else, you need to tell me-"
"Oh no, it's nothing like that." Aziraphale meets Crowley's eyes and his expression is soft but sad. "I know you love me very much." He reaches up to touch Crowley's cheek.
Crowley's heart flutters and he wants to kiss Aziraphale very badly but he refrains. Not the right time. "But?" he says, leaning into the touch a bit helplessly all the same.
Aziraphale lets go of Crowley's face. He looks down and then sighs. "Well, it's mostly just… " He looks up. "As you already know," he tilts his head back and forth as he says, "I did… report to Heaven for 6000 years. And it would perhaps not be…" he spins his hands in front of him in a tight, little circle, "inaccurate to describe them as uh, possibly uneager to hear what I had to say on some issues." He hurriedly adds, "At least some of the time, mind you."
Crowley feels like his stomach has fallen out and his blood is running hot and sharp under his skin. Of course. How hadn't he figured this out on his own really? He'd even gone up to Heaven for Aziraphale that one time, had heard the way Gabriel had talked to him then. "Shut your stupid mouth and die."
What had Crowley thought? That they'd been better to him all the other times? Of course not, Crowley knows that they're (almost all) total and complete bastards. He'd just never thought, before right this moment, that it had affected Aziraphale so badly, that Crowley could do something that would remind Aziraphale of them so easily.
Crowley wants to chuck himself out of the atmosphere, not because he'd die from lack of oxygen but just so he can scream at himself for a good long while and not bother anyone else. He tables that idea for now. Taking care of Aziraphale comes first.
"Angel," Crowley cups Aziraphale's cheek gently. "I need you to tell me if I ever make you feel like those bastards did ever again, alright?"
"Oh Crowley," Aziraphale leans into his touch. "I do know you are nothing like them at all, I promise. I'm just trying to say that perhaps I am a bit, you know, touchy about the subject, that's all. You are, generally, a very good listener."
"And I'm just saying that you deserve better than to ever feel like that, okay? You were the best of them. Smarter and kinder and more interesting and… everything. The fact that they couldn't see that just proves how dense they really were." He runs a thumb along Aziraphale's cheek. "So please, talk to me, alright?"
"Well," Aziraphale smiles, "I guess I am always asking you to tell me what's wrong. Perhaps it would be best for me to… practice what I preach as it were."
"Ughhhhh," Crowley can't help but roll his eyes. "Glad you get it but why did you have to say it like… that?"
Aziraphale tsks. "Dear, you're being silly."
"Maybe I-"
Aziraphale reaches up and cups Crowley's opposite cheek. Crowley can feel his heart rate spike and whatever sarcastic words he had planned are entirely lost.
"So," Aziraphale beams, "you really think I'm… brilliant and gorgeous and kind and-"
"Y-yeah," Crowley cuts him off before the list gets too out of hand and he dies of embarrassment. "I mean, you know I do."
"Well then, do you think you could, perhaps, tell me just a bit more often?" He strokes Crowley's check with his thumb. "It would mean ever so much to me if you did."
Crowley is nodding absently before he's even really thought it through at all. But I mean, what is there to think about really? If Aziraphale's going to get this happy and look at him like this everytime, than there really is no other option. Dignity is for other people whose partners don't make their knees feel like jelly. Crowley realizes that he still hasn't said anything in response so he, after a few failed attempts, says, "Sure, will do."
Aziraphale happy wiggles again. "Oh really?"
Crowley nods. Can you die from being happy? Is that a thing?
"Thank you, dear," he says, giving Crowley the softest eyes in existence. "Oh, may I kiss you? Would that be-"
Crowley closes the gap between their lips in an instant, wrapping his free arm around Aziraphale's waist and pulling him in tight. Aziraphale answers by kissing him back tenderly, setting one of his hands into Crowley's hair and another on his waist as he does. Aziraphale's lips are, Crowley is pretty sure, one of the best things to ever happen to him, after Aziraphale himself but before the internal combustion engine. He's not sure how he survived so long without them but now that he's experienced them, he's certain he can't go back. The lingering burn of the very first time and how he'd never thought he'd feel them again comes back to him suddenly and he tries to shove the thought away. He loves you now. It's all fine.
As if Aziraphale can sense Crowley's need for affirmation, he pushes him quite firmly into the nearest shelf and moans, "Oh Crowley," as he keeps kissing him, which while probably unintentional, does the trick quite nicely.
****
They end up passing a rather eventful half an hour in which miraculously, all possible customers conveniently just forget that they had planned to stop by A.Z. Fell and Co. Crowley is just coming back up for air, as it were, the edges of his brain all fuzzy and warm when he suddenly remembers something. "Oh the, the funny story, the one from while I was gone. Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off again-"
Aziraphale leans in and gives him a nice deep kiss before pulling back. "I asked to kiss you, don't you remember?"
Crowley blinks. That does sound vaguely familiar.
"My dear," Aziraphale smiles. "Anyway, I think I remember you saying you'd put together a bit of a… charcuterie board with all my favorite cheeses, yes?"
Crowley's brain is starting to work a bit better now. "Y-yeah, I did do that. Even found that one tomato and onion jam from that little farm in Scotland. You remember the one?"
"Morag Mains? Or something along those lines? I hear they're actually a non-profit that donates all their proceeds to keeping young women off the streets… or something along those lines."
Crowley's brain processes this and then suddenly, it's like a very bright light turning on in another room. "You don't think?"
Aziraphale smiles and nods. "I very much do think, now that you mention it. Funny old world indeed."
"Huh," Crowley turns this revelation over in his head. "Well, I'll be damned."
"Oh no," Aziraphale leans in and pecks him on the cheek, "Not so much anymore."
Crowley rolls his eyes. "That was… truly terrible. If I wasn't so into you-"
"But you are," Aziraphale laces their fingers together and pulls Crowley towards the stairs. "Come along, dear. It's time for cheese. And a story!"
"Right," Crowley nods, his hand tingly and warm in Aziraphale's grasp. He squeezes back (because he can now).
"You're going to love this one! It involves a certain Mr. Brown from the local carpet emporium and a mysterious shipment that just arrived at the bookshop earlier today."
****
Aziraphale is right. Crowley loves the story. Aziraphale is about ten minutes deep into a shocking tale of postal errors, ignorance, betrayal, and definitely the wrong type of carpet indeed, and he's been doing a lot of hand gestures and little voices all the while and Crowley's smiling so much his face hurts. The pangs of despised love or something like that. And even though it's hard and he often feels foolish, Crowley makes a point to cheer Aziraphale on, to tell him how good he's doing (like Aziraphale did undeservingly for that middling Master Burbish back in the day). But everytime a compliment gets him an answering smile from Aziraphale, he knows he's made the right call.
At one point, Aziraphale breaks his momentum mid-scene to say, "Really my dear, it's okay! You're very sweet but there's no need for you to stop blinking entirely."
Crowley hadn't even noticed he had stopped but he doesn't even try to hide his smile (or his blush) as he says, "It's like I told you, Angel, I don't want to miss a second if it's you."
And Aziraphale beams like he's the sun (might as well be, far as Crowley's concerned), and Crowley's not sure what he did to deserve him but he's certain that he'll spend the rest of his existence doing his best to keep deserving him all the same.
#good omens#aziracrow#aziraphale#good omens fanfiction#good omens crowley#ineffable husbands#ineffable partners#good omens fanfic#good omens 2#ineffable spouses#GOS2 Spoilers#My Fanfic#My GO Thoughts and Feels#I love this part of the story very much but I dragged my feet on posting it so bad#probably because I love it and also my confidence is at rock bottom atm which is fun#I'd apologize for the way I write Crowley but I won't#He loves Aziraphale so much and hates himself and he really needs to work on the second one#but I believe he'll be okay someday and just thinking about that makes me cry#basically#Crowley has CPTSD and so do I#but yeah that's enough vulnerability in the tags for today lols#I may write more of this as I have a lot of notes but I don't believe in myself so we shall see#I will write more Crowley and Aziraphale though as I love them with my whole heart#and am sad that my lack of confidence kept me from the joy of writing them for so long#don't mind me
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I'm lowkey kinda curious what kinda screenshots you have in that "unhinged on hinge" album icl... 👀 /nf
~ nessa ♡
LMAOO I wish I could share some of my favourites, but I don't wanna post the pics because a lot of them have the person's face in them
SOOO here are ten responses to the prompts/events that made me crack up written out for you <3
1) on my profile I had originally answered the prompt "my cry in the car song is..." and basically said something along the line of having too many, so if anyone needed recs to lmk and this guy asked "You okay? Need a hug or anything?"
...I changed the prompt very soon after that.
2) "this could be us:" and the picture was a drawing of Curious George and The Yellow Hat Man making out.
3) Prompt: "My greatest strength" Answer: Rizz with elderly civillians
4) The amount of men I've come across who respond to "I'm weirdly attracted to:" with the answer "mentally ill women" is actually crazy
5) "I'll fall for you if" and his response was "you trip me". I liked his response because I thought it was funny but we ended up not matching.
6) Abraham Lincoln liking my profile and asking me what I was doing that night with emojis I wish not to disclose on my sfw blog.
7) "Together we could" and his response was "build the largest drug smuggling ring canada has ever seen" :)
8) One of my prompts: "Green Flags I look for" to which I listed things like being open minded, letting me ramble abt stuff, and this guy responded to it asking me what kind of coffee/tea I like and I was very confused cause I didn't mention coffee (this one def isn't weird, but it amuses me anyway)
9) "I'm looking for" and he said "A girl who would stab me for looking at other women" and honestly? me too dude.
10) An actual response word for word I received for the same prompt mentioned in 8: Ok hear me out, an onion shaped raccoon rolls up to you, stared for a moment before proceeding to let out some enchantment table esk god speech, then stops time to untie your shoe and rolls off
bonus round: two guys who's profiles mentioned "becoming literate" and "wanting to be gaslighted" respectively in every. single. prompt.
I have so many more but these were some stand out ones. Also disclaimer, I'm not making fun of anyone here or trying to come across that way!! I know a lot of these are jokes and everyone is doing their best, but even so, it's unhinged behavior on hinge.
(also @emmyrosee since we were talking abt hinge a little yesterday, I thought you'd enjoy this too, I hope it's ok that I tagged u!!)
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get to know the muse
elijah stewart !!
three things they love: elijah is a huge gym rat; other than lifting at the gym, he does do a lot of running, hiking, or even lifting in his garage with the little make-shift gym he made for himself. he loves stacy: that's his best friend since they were little and considers his brother, he'd do anything for stacy. lastly, he loves to spend time with himself; he's so used to being alone and being independent that he's found comfort in being by himself and anxiety being around too many people.
three things they hate: elijah fucking HATES small talk. he also can't stand first dates; it's hard for him to even agree on going on one in the first place and if it's not a perfect date or he doesn't feel any sort of long-term chemistry with the other person, he will not go on a second... hence his romantic life is pretty dry. he also can't stand being in the house for too long. he needs to get out even if it's just for a beer or for a run; he gets stir-crazy.
three things they need: his dog !! remy always seems to be by elijah's side if he can help it. some kind of routine that involves physical activity and beer. oh, he needs his beer. i would be surprised that this guy doesn't have a beer gut if it wasn't for all the working out he does.
three things they want: to achieve justice for stacy's late daughter, for the chance to find his true soulmate and start a family of his own, to have peace in his life.
three things that scare them: there's not much that scares elijah but losing stacy, losing his job, or even losing himself are things he's afraid of.
three things that thrill them: oof, finding someone that matches his sexual energy and can bring something new to the bedroom. it's not often he sleeps with someone; albeit every once in awhile he'll meet someone at a bar or get set up on a blind date that eventually makes its way back to his place but most of the time, it's plain, vanilla sex and he wants something he's never experienced (except he doesn't realize it's love but that's neither here nor there). he also loves finding new bars or a new drink he hasn't tried before. he also gets very excited when a new action movie comes out (what a dude).
three favorite foods: classic bar food !! wings, onion rings, sloppy greasy burgers, chili cheese fries !! besides the bar food; he also loves a good brownie or scrambled eggs with bacon and hash browns (he's a big breakfast guy).
three favorite smells: definitely food (he's such a sucker for big, hearty meals. i mean, the man works out and is a big man, his caloric intake is MASSIVE so he always be big hungry), coffee smell mm, and remy (his dog). remy brings him a lot of comfort and he lets remy sit and lay anywhere he likes, even his clothes, so his smell is a constant.
three favorite holidays: july 4th definitely because of the bbqs and the beer and the summer time. him and stacy spend every july 4th together and have a tradition of setting off fireworks that aren't exactly legal, oop. he also loves april fool's day (he's a big prankster) and also loves mother's day... he's a big mama's boy to both his mamas.
three favorite people: stacy, both his moms, and remy (does his pupper count?)
tagged by: @thatslayer thank you !!
three others tagged: @fortunefavours (either jasper or ivy!!), @bridgheir , @sacredslaycd , @dhampirslays , @murkyhazed (pippin or mateo!!), @ruinedtendencies (delilah!!), @seesgood , @odaette , @holyxsins (corrie!!)
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大家好! The US admitted for the first time that famine has begun in Gaza. 1 in 3 children suffer from malnutrition and severe malnutrition is rising. Israel claimed they would open Erez crossing and Ashdord port to allow more aid to enter the war-torn area but so far, there hasn't been much progress. The proverb, shang liang bu zheng xia liang wai, comes to mind when I read about the war in Gaza. Loosely translated, it means when a boss/superior lacks integrity, subordinates similarly lack it.
I forgot to order my noodles 'white' - no sauce - when I tried bak chor mee (pork noodles) at a different stall this week. Waste not want not, as the saying goes, so I tucked in. OMG it was SO delicious! The meepok (flat egg noodles) was silky and highly slurpable, fishballs were QQ as they should be and pork was well seasoned. Even their broth had a distinct meaty taste, an indication that it had been boiled with pork bones and wasn't just seasoning. Definitely will return for the bak chor mee as well as to try their other dishes.
The last time LL and I caught up, she asked if WWIII is coming. Kinda feels like we're already in the midst of it. The world is currently dealing with conflicts in Gaza and Ukraine, as well as an economic war the West is waging on China and Russia. Everything is more expensive, including basics like electricity, housing, clean water, food and transport. Prices of daily items like coffee are much higher than they were pre-covid. Salaries don't stretch as much as they used to. In rich countries, the working poor rely on food banks and free school lunches for their kids to make ends meet.
I was about to order otah to go with bee tai mak (short rice noodles) and curry vegetables for breakfast last Friday when I remembered the famine in Gaza and decided to go vegetarian out of compassion for Palestinians. The stall served onion rings that morning, so I ordered some. Without enough protein, I was very hungry by lunch time. It was a stark reminder that genocide by starvation is still happening in Gaza and innocent civilians are suffering. The increased humanitarian aid promised by Israel is also not flowing into the war-torn area fast enough to avert famine.
This week, a friend who was into 'healthy fats', ate lots of avocado, nuts and seeds and used a lot of olive oil when he cooked, died. I tried to warn him because oils are oils, 'healthy' or not, but he didn't listen. There was only so much I could do; I didn't pursue it. This guy was heavily into fitness. He was so fit and strong and now he's gone. At this point, I dunno what to say, except if you're consuming a lot of so-called 'healthy fats', please think again. I don't want anyone else dying due to wrongful 'expert advice'. Pa followed the same and had a second heart attack a few years ago. I don't trust what I read nowadays. 下次见!
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What was the name of the main character in the last book you read?
It didn’t have any characters, it was non-fiction.
Do you own a pair of Disney pajamas?
Not pajamas but I have couple disney t-shirts that wear to bed.
What are three of your favorite toppings for salads?
Feta cheese, red onion and avocado. I wouldn’t put avocado in my feta salad though but it goes well with chicken for example.
What was the last place you went out to eat?
This one Italian restaurant, I went there with my mom for my birthday.
Do you have a lot of clutter in your home?
Not a lot but I do have some. Just the right amount I guess haha.
What was the last pill you took? 💊
My prescription medicine.
Are you happy with your current doctor? 👩⚕️🩺
My doctor changes all the time nowadays because the health center I go to unfortunately doesn’t have a permanent psych doctor who would work there.
Is there a bottle of Benadryl in your medicine cabinet?
No.
Do you take vitamins?
Yeah I take vitamin D especially during winter time and I also take vitamin C.
Does your hair need to be washed right now?
Kind of. I’m not going to wash it though since I’m not going anywhere today.
What was the last thing you ate?
I just ate breakfast and I had some yogurt and a calzone type of pastry with coffee and a glass of water.
Do you prefer pizza or hot dogs? 🌭 🍕
Pizza. It’s very rare for me to eat hot dogs.
What is your favorite pizza topping? 🍕
Mushrooms, feta cheese and red onion lol.
Is your dad a jerk?
No he’s definitely not a jerk, he’s really nice but he does have some problems.
What color are your fingernails painted?
They’re not painted.
Is anyone in your family currently in the military?
No.
What was the last thing you bought at the dollar store?
There’s no dollar stores here.
Are prices of things going up where you live?
Yes, food and electricity mostly.
What color was the last carpet you sat on?
I don’t sit on carpets?
What is your favorite dog breed?
I’m not that into dogs but I just recently found out about this one dog breed called eurasier and I think they are really cute, especially as puppies.
When was the last time you wore make-up? 💄
I had some yesterday.
What was the last thing you ordered at the last restaurant you went to?
I ordered pasta with shrimp and garlic in a creamy tomato sauce.
What was the last thing you wore that was pink?
I think the only pink clothing I own is pastel pink sweatpants, I don’t remember the last time I’ve worn them though.
Name three people you know, if any, that currently live in another country.
Two of my cousins and my mom’s cousin.
Name three people you know who are from another country (and what countries?)
Uhh I think my ex is the only foreign person I know. He’s originally from Morocco.
What are your grandmas’ names?
Kaarina and Marja.
If applicable, who lives across the hall from you?
I don’t know my neighbors that well.
Have you ever heard of “fairy har”? (It’s tinsel in the hair that gets put in permanently…it’s like tinsel highlights.)
I googled it because the name didn’t ring a bell but yeah I’ve actually seen those. I personally wouldn’t get them on my hair but they look really pretty.
Have you found any gray hairs on your head?
No.
If applicable, how old were you when you found your first gray hair?
-
Do you think you will dye your hair when it’s gone gray?
I don’t know yet. It depends on how I’ll look with gray hair and how insecure am I going to be about it if it doesn’t look that good haha. But I personally don’t think gray hair looks bad, there’s many old women (and men) who look beautiful with gray hair.
Do you have a sister-in-law?
No.
Do you have a brother-in-law?
No.
When was the last time you went swimming? 👙 ☀️
I went to the lake last summer.
Do you own a bikini?
Yeah.
What color is your bike, if you own one?
I don’t have a bike.
If you were a rockstar, what color guitar would you have? 🎸
Uhh let’s say a red one.
What are three places you’ve been on vacation that you’ve enjoyed?
I’ve always loved traveling abroad and my three favorite countries have been Cyprus, Turkey and Belgium.
Does your home have carpeted floors?
No.
What color was the last scarf you wore?
Like a light beige/cream color.
What was the last spicy thing you ate?
I don’t like spicy food so I don’t remember the last time I had something spicy.
Do you like sushi? 🍣
Yes.
When was the last time you had sushi? 🍱
I bought some supermarket sushi few weeks ago.
Can you see a box from where you are sitting right now?
Yes I have a box under my tv stand that has some books and notebooks in it.
Would you rather sing or dance? 🎤 💃
Dance.
What color was the last sports bra you wore, if applicable?
Black.
What is your nicest neighbor’s name?
Like I said, I don’t know my neighbors.
Would you rather have a personal chef or personal house cleaner?
House cleaner. I like cooking.
Do you have any zits on your face right now?
A few.
Do you wear glasses or contacts?
I wear contacts sometimes, I don’t own glasses. My sight isn’t super bad but if I’m going somewhere where I want to have perfect vision I’ll wear my contacts lol.
How many Britney Spears albums have you owned?
I haven’t own anything by her.
What was the first concert you went to?
I’ve not been in a concert before I think.
Do you like cheese? 🧀
Yes I like it.
What are three of your favorite things to sprinkle cheese on top of?
Pasta is the only thing that comes to my mind.
What are three of your favorite bakery items?
Cinnamon buns, donuts and cheesecake.
When was the last time you went to a bakery? 🧁
There’s this small bakery close to my home that I go to get breakfast sometimes and I absolutely love it. The last time was last week I think.
Do you prefer coffee or chai? ☕️
Coffee.
Do you know what “chai” means?
I think it just means tea. At least “cha” is tea in Mandarin that I know of.
What are three other names you like that start with the same letter as your name?
Natalia, Naomi, Nadia.
What are three creative hobbies you enjoy?
I like painting, drawing and coloring. I’ve also been into crocheting lately thanks to my mom!!
Is there a bag or basket of yarn somewhere in your home? 🧶
Not a basket but I do have some yarn in one of my drawers.
Do you ever wear skirts?
I don’t.
Do you ever find it hard to live in a world where nobody cares?
I don’t live in a world where “nobody cares”. A lot of people care about many things.
Would you rather have a tattoo of a skull or a flower?
Skull maybe.
Have you ever had to take steroids? 💊
No.
What are three of the worst withdrawal effects or side effects you have experienced from a medication? 💊
I once took an allergy medicine when I was like 12 or so and I managed to get like all the side effects possible from that medicine. It wasn’t anything serious luckily but I was really tired, I had a headache, I was constipated, I had some random shivering etc. haha.
What are three things you like about church?
I don’t go to church so can’t really say anything.
What are three things you dislike about church?
I don’t dislike anything about it. I’m just neutral.
Does your town have a horse and carriage company?
No.
Who are three of the biggest jerks you know?
I fortunately don’t know any jerks.
Have you ever met a Jason that you didn’t like?
Haven’t met a Jason.
Have you ever had a friend named Sarah?
Nope.
Did you go to school with a Suzy?
Uhh no, not a common name here either.
What was the name of the person who bullied you the most in high school?
I wasn’t bullied in high school.
Do you know someone named Matthew?
No.
….Mark?
...no
….Luke?
Look, so none of these names are common where I live lol.
….John?
-
Have you ever been friends with an Ashley?
-
….an Emily?
-
….a Jessica?
-
….a David?
-
Have you ever dated a Matthew?
-
Who was the last person you remember hanging up on you?
People generally don’t hang up on me.
How’s your heart? Are you wounded? 💔
My heart is doing fine lol.
What was the last type of pie you ate?
It was some chocolate pie with peanuts and other stuff.
Are you happy today?
I’m pretty content so far.
What time did you wake up this morning?
8am.
And last but not least, did you enjoy this survey?
Yes I liked it.
I hope you have a wonderful day! 😊
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Wicked Fates
My blog is strictly 18+ and you bet my fic will have a lot of mature themes!
If you're not 18 years or older GET OUT NOW!
Summary: You didn't expect that night to change your life. But the fates had other plans. Matt Murdock aka The Devil of Hell's Kitchen shared his secret with you and now you had to guard it with your life.
Pairing: Matt Murdock x gn!reader
Word count: Somewhere near 2k
Tags: General character introduction, post season 3, Matt being an idiot, purely SFW, extreme slow burn, might have missed some.
A/N: Okay, this is my first ever fic (inhuman excited noises) and I've been sitting on this idea for a few months now. I let it marinate in my head until I couldn't bear it. So here you go!
I strongly believe in The Fates (Percy Jackson/ Greek mythology fan here!) and I believe that everyone comes into our life for some reason and though Daredevil is fictional he definitely has made my life very interesting.
Wicked Fates might be a little self-indulgent (just little, okay) but it sure will have a lot of angst, spice, fluff, basic daredevil violence, some religious trauma, eventual smut (?), and mentions of mental illness.
If you see any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes pretend that you're blind like Matt.
Swirls divider by @firefly-graphics. Red divider by @anlian-aishang
Reblogs and likes are very much appreciated <3
Wicked Fates | Ghost of a Chance
You didn’t expect that night to be life changing. It was a lazy day, you woke up feeling tired even though you slept better than most nights, work was monotonous, your evening dose of coffee was ruined by an emergency meeting, and you were ready to leave as soon as the clock hit six. You decided to go to the Korean convenience store on the other side of the neighbourhood, maybe a long walk could help you take your mind off things. You picked up your favourite tea, a few cans of Bong Bong, and a pack of onion rings. You gathered your supplies and were making your way back home when you passed by an alley. You heard someone wail, followed by the sound of some punches. You didn’t want any trouble but you also couldn’t let some innocent person get beaten to death. You pulled out your phone from your jeans pocket ready to dial for help. One flickering lightbulb helped you catch glimpses of a man dressed in all black. The top half of his face was covered with a black cloth, you recognised this outfit from the news.
The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen.
The news, as usual, had contrasting opinions on this man. Some said he was doing what the police couldn’t do, some said he was a menace to the society. The public, however, liked him. You heard stories around the office about how he saved a young boy from being kidnapped, how he often came to the rescue of those caught in the filthy hands of the Kitchen’s darkness. But he was famous for bringing down Wilson Fisk. You were leaning on the positive side of the Masked Man. Even though he hadn’t affected you directly, he helped those in dire need and that was convincing enough for you to form your opinions on him. And so, you made up your mind and you put your phone back into your pocket, letting The Devil do his work.
Caught up with all the thoughts running in your mind you didn’t see where you were going and made a loud crashing noise by stepping on a discarded soda can. Your immediate response was to look in his direction, hoping he didn’t hear it. What you didn’t know is that he had extremely sensitive ears and the soda can chose to be loud tonight. His head snapped to where you stood still, your hands clutching to your grocery bag. His one hand was clasping the man’s shirt collar and the other up in the air stuck in the middle of throwing another punch. He dropped his punch throwing hand and took a step back. Your body didn’t know fight or flight, it only knew freeze. You looked at the blood oozing out of the small slash on his cheek, ‘must be painful’ you thought. Then you heard him grumble a warning harshly.
“Get out!”
Careful not to step on another soda can you run. You’ve never sprinted this fast in your life before. You could’ve stopped running after a few blocks but your brain remembered the flight response and you ran all the way to your apartment.
Closing the door behind you, you sat on the floor gasping for air. You remained seated and removed your jacket and shoes and tossed them aside. You took out a can of Bong Bong, still chill, you silently thanked the soda gods and drank it. Your mind is finally catching up with everything that happened in the past hour. The pain in your legs settling in slowly, sweat drying off on your skin, shoulders and arms tired from carrying your bags…you needed a hot shower.
You stripped off whatever clothes you were wearing and put on your favourite playlist. Waving your hands and tapping your feet to the beats of the song you stepped into the shower. You let the scorching hot water hit your back and shoulders, you hug yourself tight and rest your head on your crossed arms. You melt into the song and let the water wash away the stress stored in your body.
You step out of the bathroom and shiver as the cold air strikes your warm skin. You put on an oversized T-shirt and tuck yourself into your bed. You check your phone for any messages and mail and reply to the important ones. You wonder if you should tell your best-friend, Leslee, about what happened earlier that night and almost hit the dial button but decide to not get her all worked up and plug your phone to the charger and fall back into your bed.
You try not to think of him but he’s the closest thing to a celebrity that you’ve almost met and your mind replays the seven minutes encounter as if it was a two-hour movie. Leaving a deep breath out, you close your eyes and let the waves of fatigue wash over you.
You wake up to your alarm going off. The TikTok alarm song startles you every time but you decide not to change it because it does the job of waking you up. You get ready for work as usual and exit your apartment. The streets are bustling with the working crowd and you join in and make your way to your office. You’re standing on the sidewalk waiting for the pedestrian light to turn green and you look on the opposite side. Tired faces, coffee cups in hands, mouths busy talking to someone, ears occupied by headphones, a walking cane…you follow the cane up to see two strong hands clasping the cane’s handle. You lift your curious gaze up to the person’s face and hear yourself gasp. Neck bruised and a small slash on the side of his cheek. You blink to make sure you weren’t mocked by your vision.
Nope. Still there.
‘It can’t be’ You think to yourself ‘he’s blind! has a walking cane and a pair of sunglasses on! It’s not even sunny enough for sunglasses!’
‘Maybe they both have the same bruise?’ another thought chimed in ‘how can they?’ barked the other.
“What in the name of sorcery?!” You whispered to yourself. You swore you saw that man move his head in your direction. You took a few steps back and hid behind an elderly woman.
‘Great! You’re hiding from a blind man.’
The lights turned green and the crowd started to move, you kept your position behind the elderly woman hoping she didn’t think you were trying to steal her wallet. You watched the man tap his cane and cross the street, people making way for him to move. You crossed him and saw him from the corner of your eyes. He cocked his head to your side and you let out an audible “Holy shit!”. You swiftly walked past your saviour, the older woman, and continued the pace till you reached the doors of your office building.
You sat down at your desk and tried to make sense of what you saw. Your heart was beating so loud and you could feel your ears starting to tingle. That man was blind. The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen was a vigilante…who was very good at what he did, who also happened to lurk in dark alleys, who also covered the top half of his face. It didn’t make sense. But everything that has happened in the world since 2008 didn’t either. Man flying around in a titanium suit, literal gods wrecking your planet, it was too much to process at this time of the day. What if he was a superpowered hero? It could be a reasonable possibility. You were snapped out of your puzzling thoughts when your colleague called you over to discuss something.
On the other side of the neighbourhood Matt was anxious. His thoughts were running wild, too. Did you recognise him? What if you did? There’s no way you could have! Then why did your heart rate spike? Why did you hide behind that older woman? Why did you curse out loud? His thoughts were cut off by Foggy’s question.
“What’s on your mind, Matt?”
“Wha-uh, nothing. Just a headache from last night.” he replied with a startled sigh.
“How long were you patrolling for last night? You shouldn’t be out till the sun comes up Matt! I thought you’d stop ruining your health after putting Fisk away.” Foggy was concerned. How couldn’t he be? He cared too much about Matt.
“I promise I went home before sunrise.”
“Pinky promise?” Foggy stretched his hand across Matt’s desk with his pinky finger out.
Matt chuckled and connected his pinky with Foggy’s “Pinky promise”.
Karen walked in with three cups of coffee and a few case files.
Foggy and Karen were now used to seeing Matt show up with bruises and cuts. Karen helped Matt with concealing his bruises if they had to go to court or meet up with a client. It doesn’t bring more attention to him anymore.
“Um..what’s going on? Matt, don’t make promises you can’t keep.” She said jokingly.
“Oh! Too late, Page. A promise can’t be broken or said out loud! Didn’t you go to preschool?” Foggy was never late with his sometimes-corny jokes.
“Whatever. Anyway! Updates! How are we looking with Mr. Romano?” Karen said, setting the coffee cups down on Matt’s desk.
“Aren’t you eager to work?” Matt chided.
“Well, unlike you Matt, I’d like to get paid.” Karen replied.
“Alright, alright! Gosh, you both are tough to work with. Okay, here’s what I have” Foggy took his cup of coffee from the desk and continued with everything they had on Mr. Romano's case.
Matt tried his best to listen but his mind betrayed his efforts and went back to you. He should really be more careful with where he conducts his late-night investigations. He was worried. What if his secret gets out? He can’t risk putting Foggy’s and Karen’s life in danger, not again. He had to nip this in the bud. He knew what he was doing tonight.
You decided to order take out tonight. Your work had kept you busy the whole day and the mysterious blind man hadn’t crossed your mind even once. Okay, maybe once…or twice. But the night is still young and you are alone in your apartment with your thoughts and food, what’s more of a comfortable time? You resumed where you left off at lunch. You had put all information available together- Daredevil works only in the nights, favours the dark, covers the top half of his face. Absence of light and absence of sight…could he actually be? You shook your head dismissing the silly thought. ‘You’re just over-thinking and bored’ you think to yourself. You had to stop before this became an obsession. You put on an episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and ate dinner.
Matt, sorry, Daredevil was out hunting for his prey tonight. He didn’t know who he was looking for. He didn’t know where he should be looking. He only caught a whiff of your scent but it was masked by the strong smell of coffee and other pedestrians walking past him. Your heartbeat had been erratic, probably because you just saw something you shouldn’t have, and he couldn't narrow his hearing to a specific heartbeat. He should’ve turned around and followed you to your office at least then he could’ve tracked you down after work. He was frustrated. He searched throughout the neighbourhood hoping to find something but all his efforts failed. Matt wasn’t ready to give up. He couldn't let his sacred secret out in the daylight. Tomorrow, he was going to find you. He was determined.
The Devil works hard but Matt Murdock works harder.
Thankyou for reading my work <3
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