#also i'm assuming you decided to stick around? since you saw this post
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Rain
Demetri Volturi x human mate reader
Summary: Reader gets overwhelmed with stress and he's there to support her
Warnings: mentions of an anxiety attack, but mostly fluff
A/N: Omg someone stop me😁, another one-shot post?? I had to write this because as I was taking my breaks I would work on this, its not proofread but the idea of Demetri calling the reader Spanish nicknames is a must have but throw rainy weather into the topic and muah *chefs kiss*. Enjoy and there will be a second A/N in the end.
A little translation for my non-Spanish speakers:
Mi cariño: dear or darling
Mi vida: My life
Princessa: princess
Mi amado hermoso: My beautiful lover
(I cant believe it took me a while to write a Demetri one-shot)
I burst through our shared room in a panic state and I saw my lovely mate on his special chair. Before I could even react he was already wrapping his arms around me and cuddling me into his chest. I felt the build up tears I was holding back cascade down my cheeks. Demetri was rubbing my back in comfort and I heard him mumble
“Mi cariño, let it all out, I know you need this”
I sure did need this, all of today I was working on a project for a class and I ended up deleting about half of it and couldn't recover it at all. I always threw my computer out the window but instead I stared at the blank page that was staring back at me with what I could assume was mockery. I did manage to remember a good amount of what I had done and it's back to how it is, but I spent a while in a state of shock and denial.
Suddenly I felt myself shaking physically, my heart increase in palpitation and worst of all I could feel my breath becoming shorter. Demetri picked up right away that I was dealing with an anxiety attack and he guided me toward the balcony to the fresh air and the light rain.
“Mi vida, look its raining, you love the rain, hey look at how pretty it looks”
I turn my head to be able to face the scenery instead of his very well built chest to see how soft and calming it is currently. I told Demetri before that I love the rain, it's my personal safe haven other than his arms. I felt my trembling and shaking diminished slightly, my heart rate started to slow down to a more reasonable way but my breathing was still a problem.
I felt him tilt my head up so I was looking at him and my breath for a minute hitch, he looked breathtaking right now. There were small droplets of rain running down his face which caused his hair to stick to his forehead and his eyes were full of adoration. He looked beautiful at that moment, well he always looks beautiful, I heard him one time arguing with Felix and he ended the conversation with “Dont hate me because im beautiful”.
I smiled at the memory and soon enough he had a look of curiosity with a matching smile
“What's got you smiling like that princessa?”
“I was just think about your statement to end an argument with Felix, the don't hate because i'm beautiful”
His laughter filled the gloomy atmosphere that the rain created, his laugh sounding like music to my ears. One of his hands started to caress my cheek gently, his coldness immediately sending a small shiver down my spine but also somehow started to steady my breathing.
“Look at you princessa, your doing so good in breathing, such a good girl”
I blush at the praise which he never fails to miss, he knows what praises from him does to me, many thoughts come to mind but I push them away for now since I am still recovering from the earlier events.
“Do you want to talk about it/”
“My computer decided to throw me a whole 360 today”
“A whole 360? Im sorry cariño, but you need to explain that to me”
I giggled at his dumbfounded look, it's always fun to be able to still catch a vampire as old as him off guard with my modern language
“Right forgot your like a million years old, I was working on a project today for one of my classes on my computer and I accidentally deleted like half of it but like I barely started it so it was no big deal because I remember what I had so far but it was just so frustrating you know”
He continued to caress my cheek as he nods along to my explanation
“And it just so stressful in thinking I have so much to do still before this week ends and I feel like I have done what I needed to do but its not enough still and and—”
He placed his finger on my lips to silence me and I tiled my head to the side from curiosity, this is new. His signature smirk spread onto his face at my reaction
“Sorry love, but you started to spiral into chaos and as much as adore to hear you ramble, I started to feel stress myself from your stress”
I looked down in embarrassment but he tilted my head up once again
“Hey don't be embarrassed cara, it's good for you to talk about what stresses you out, better out and in you know?”
“Your right metri”
“Now care to have a dance with me in the rain then?”
Whining at his request, even if that has secretly been a dream of mine to do “Demi you know i'm not even a good dancer, heck I don't even know how to”
“But that's the fun part princessa, I can teach you and we will be dancing in your favorite type of weather”
“Fair point”
As the rain intensified slightly, he guided my moves with such elegance that I almost felt like I myself am an expert to begin with. The rain at that moment was not a bother, my main focus was my casanova of a vampire that I call mi amado hermoso.
A/N: You know I don't know why I haven't added any Spanish nicknames to my writings, but I will in future (I feel like Demetri would just know all of the most romantic languages). I know I mentioned this in my Alec one-shot but I am working on a Caius one, its a work in progress indeed maybe in the end of this week I might have part one done, who knows?
#demetri volturi#demetri volturi x reader#our casanova of a vampire#the volturi#volturi#twilight saga#the volturi guard
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Love & Angst Chapter 4
Chapter 3 here
Note: I know I just posted chapter 3 yesterday, but I have ALL of these ideas swimming in my head. And I am just a total simp for Aizawa, what can I say?
******
You stood behind the bar and he sat on the other side, both completely silent for what felt like hours. Just staring at each other. Finally, he spoke up, "hi" in a somewhat monotone voice. Grateful he finally spoke, you responded back with a friendly hello. "You'll have to bear with me, I don't do this often. Actually, I haven't done something like this in a long time...I guess I'm rusty." He took a breath, while you stood there eagerly awaiting what he could possibly say next. "I know this seems kind of forward since we just met. But. Would...would you like to grab a coffee with me some time?"
You stood there and stared at him in complete disbelief. First of all, you were standing there in your waitress outfit, which included your dirty apron with the towel still sticking out of it, hair sticking to your forehead from sweat due running around the restaurant nonstop. You did not look cute. Second of all, he was asking you out??? What?!? The more time that passed, he was developing this somewhat defeated look on his face, and you felt badly for not saying anything sooner. "YES," you finally replied, looking straight at him. "I would like to get coffee with you."
His face didn't necessarily light up; based on his monotone voice, you actually weren't surprised. But he did have a soft smile on his face. "That's great," he replied in that same voice. He then drawled out, "I'm sure you have a busy schedule, as do I. So here's my phone number, text me sometime and we'll make plans," as he slipped you a bar napkin with his phone number on it. Before you could get another word out, he got up and swiftly walked out of the restaurant. You stood there and just gawked at the door that he walked out of.
Without missing a beat, Naomi comes strolling out of the kitchen door, "WELL WELL WELL, now what was that about?" You two just looked at each other and burst out laughing, since you knew very well that she was eavesdropping the entire time. You then went on to explain to her how you actually saw him the night before, experienced the whole tunnel vision thing, and how he just asked you out for coffee. "Damnnn," she replied, "and for him to show up here out of all of the restaurants he could have gone to in the area. I'd say that's fate!" You threw your dirty dish rag at her and just laughed some more; that may have been a bit of a stretch (or was it?). You two finished cleaning up the restaurant, and went to your respective homes.
To be honest, you wanted to text him the moment you got home. But you also didn't want to come across as overzealous. But you also didn't want him to think you weren't interested. But you also this, but you also that. You kept going back and forth. You noticed the time and realized how late it was; it would be too late to text him this time at night anyway. You decided you'd touch base sometime tomorrow. Instead, you got ready for bed, and called it a night, pretty much falling asleep the moment hit your pillow.
The next day was Sunday, and you woke up feeling nice and refreshed. Your mind instantly went to Shouta, as you looked at the bar napkin on your nightstand with his phone number scribbled on it. It was only 8:00am at that point, too early to text him. You assumed he was off today as there was no school that, but with how tired and bloodshot his eyes looked, you thought he was probably sleeping. You would text him a little later. You went about your normal morning routine.
12:00pm.
You were suddenly very nervous. After pacing back and forth in your kitchen for a solid fifteen minutes, you picked up your phone. It was only a text! He gave you his number for a reason, so why were you so nervous? You went into your living room and sat down on your couch, hoping that would calm your nerves a bit. Both of your cats came up to either side of you, both laying down and simultaneously purring. That, oddly enough, made you feel better. You picked up your phone, opened up your Messages app, and typed his number in after quadruple checking that you were entering the correct number.
Y/N: "Hey Shouta! This is Y/N, you gave me your number last night at the restaurant. How are you today?"
Then you pressed send. There, you finally did it, after all those nerves. You put your phone face down on the other side of one of the cats, and decided to turn on the television and watch something mindless. Your phone buzzed about three minutes later. You eagerly picked it up and read the text: it was friggin' Naomi. She wanted to know if you and Shouta has set up a date yet. You replied back to her that no, you didn't, but assured her you'd let her know if/when you did. You put your phone back down, and went back to watching the television, not really paying attention to what was playing. Your phone buzzed again about an hour later. You took a deep breath, and picked it up. It was him.
Shouta: "Hello, Y/N. I'm glad to hear from you. I'm doing well today. How are you?"
You couldn't help but giggle at the formality of his text message. He instantly followed up to his first message with:
Shouta: "I'm sorry for not getting back to you sooner. Present Mic was over, and let's just say he needs the attention on him at all times."
Y/N: "Haha that's alright! I could tell he was very extroverted by the way he introduced himself last night. I was just sitting here with my cats anyway, watching some television."
S: "Oh, you have cats? How many? I like cats."
Y: "I have two. They can be little devils, but I love them"
S: "That's nice. Speaking of, have you heard about that cat cafe that they just opened downtown? They serve coffee and let you interact with and possibly adopt one of their cats."
Y: "I have heard of them! I've actually been wanting to check them out for a while now, I've just been so busy with work."
S: "Well...would you like to go there with me? Possibly later today, if you're free?"
You outwardly squealed. He wanted to see you today! You were thinking, with your schedules, that it would be a while before you would see him again, but he wanted to meet up today! You excitedly responded back to him:
Y: "I would really like that. Would you want to meet there for around 5:00pm?" (you wanted to make sure you had plenty of time to get ready)
S: "5pm sounds perfect. It's a date."
******
To be continued!
#aizawa shota#aizawa#shota aizawa#aizawa angst#aizawa shota x reader#aizawa x y/n#eraserhead#aizawa shouta x reader#shouta aizawa x reader#bnha shouta aizawa#mha aizawa#shouta aizawa
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Ok so I wanted to post the link to a tumblr post but for some reason it’s not letting me, however I’m determined to get this off my chest mostly because so many people agree with this nonsense
sucker-for-emily-prentiss says:
“We do not talk ENOUGH about how Emily saw JJ break down when Will decided to go into the bank and confront the robbers and went in herself and actually SAVED Will’s life RISKING HER OWN. Will told her to leave but she didn’t and you cannot convince me that she didn’t do it for JJ. Because Emily would DIE if it meant JJ was happy. That’s my Roman empires.”
I don't really get jemily but I don't hate it, but to use THIS point to try to sell them to me is so insane. You could choose literally any other scene to show their chemistry or whatever, but people are acting like Emily didn't save Will because he's an actual human being??? Like hello?? And he's her friend too, not that if he wasn't she would've just left him, she's a law enforcement agent for fuck's sake. It's her showing basic humanity and a hole lot of bravery to stick with him, she did NOT do it because he's JJ's boyfriend, she did not do it because JJ cared about him, she did it because he's a human being who was in need of help at that time and she would've helped him even if he wasn't JJ's boyfriend. This post makes me so mad omg because that's just human compassion??? And Emily is such a caring person naturally so to reduce that to her just doing it because JJ loves Will feels cheap. You could literally use any other scene to sell me on jemily but not this.
I'm assuming since you're anon you're happy for me to post this but sometimes people don't want their controversial takes out there so please let me know if not 🙈
So yeah I agree. I love Jemily pre-Will, and I can see it even for a little while around Henry being born, like I can imagine a world where him moving to be with her and Henry doesn't happen, or doesn't work out. But there comes a point in canon where JJ and Will have basically the only healthy, supportive relationship on the show, and they obviously love and respect each other a lot and work to communicate in a way that strengthens their relationship and their family. And for me personally, the Jemily ship has sailed at that stage, and it feels sad to me past that. (Like not "you're sad for shipping that", but actually the thought of either of them having feelings for the other past that point just makes me feel sad for them, and I don't like my ships to make me feel that way, so I don't go there.) And a lot of things people talk about as obvious Jemily things can just as easily be interpreted as Emily pining for what JJ has - a relationship, a little nuclear family, whatever.
Anyway, this scene specifically I 100% agree with you - especially at this point in canon, when I feel like her self preservation instinct is at an all time low, but also just the way she is in general - she's walked into a situation she thought would likely kill her before, she's had a gun to her head and been ready to die, and I think she would do this for anyone. No matter who she found strapped to a bomb with the timer at 2:45 and the bomb squad 3 minutes out, she'd stay there and try to save them. And Will isn't a stranger. There's a lot I'd do to save my best friend's partner's life, because (1) he's a person, (2) she's my best friend, and (3) she loves him. I don't want to bang or marry either of them.
What I also don't want to lose sight of in this moment by making it about Jemily is Will. He tells her to get out, he tells her to get Henry, and he's the one who tells her the right code and saves them both. They collaborate here in literally the most stressful situation possible and I love everything it says about both of them that they’re able to do that. And I'll never be entirely over "I'm not gonna leave you, just gimme a minute" / *looks at timer* "That's about all you got". Will's awesome in this ep.
I got a comment once on a Jemily ficlet I wrote (in my previous form lol) that they didn't normally ship Jemily because they felt it could cheapen the friendship between JJ and Emily but they appreciated how I had done it or whatever, and I remember at the time not really getting it. But I think it's this kind of thing - arguing that this kind of moment is definitive proof of a romantic connection puts romantic love on a pedestal and says this character would never do this for a friend. And idk. I think she would 🤷♀️
It's all subjective and open to interpretation of course. But the Emily Prentiss I see would absolutely do what she does in this ep without romantic love crossing her mind. She just sees a person in danger with nobody else around to help them, and does what she can. She never lets anyone feel alone, and she always tries to protect anyone she has a chance to protect. That's such a core part of her character for me and we see her do it for other characters too.
ETA I also really don't want to yuck anyone else's yum here (god I hate that phrase). . . Fandom is supposed to be fun, and I don't want anyone ever feeling attacked. I don't agree with the post you quoted but I honestly think there are a lot of fair interpretations and also even if you have an objectively insane interpretation of a scene from this crime show, if it brings you joy and entertainment that is ABSOLUTELY EXCELLENT, no judgment here.
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okay so i have no idea when you posted it but i just saw a theory of yours that said, “in Scaramouche’s case there should also be something to which someone’s consciousness is tied.” and i have to ask about that cause you also mentioned how he comes from ei’s depression. (stick with me cause i have a few questions considering i don’t know what lore was revealed when you said that)
1) assuming that you said he comes from depression not because of his nasty personality, but because of his lack of heart? gnosis? where’d you get that and why’d you say that? i honestly think you’re right but i fail to understand the why part on my own.
2) what or who do you think his conscience is connected to. the obvious choice would be the gnosis, since he feels that he lacks that. however, i’d liked to raise you his hat, or the bird that always follows him around, the same one that left when he was nice and came back after he became mean again. maybe the nicest part of him is trapped in that bird, not allowing him to say directly what he wants. and instead to have to show it through his actions.
bonus question) have you ever thought about why ei threw scara away when he cried? like did she see makoto in him and decided that emotion was weakness? i’d love to hear your thoughts on this
ps; would you like to hear about my rant on how the shogun’s family redemption ark was handled so much better in sumeru versus in inuzuma? i don’t wanna overwhelm you
Hi! Thanks for your ask! Those are some very interesting questions you brought up. I think I posted this theory right after the conclusion of Inazuma's storyline? So it a was a while ago. But I found the post you were referring to and refreshed my memory: (i'm very sorry in advance if this is convoluted, i had surprisingly many thoughts)
I was making the assumption about Scaramouche's construction based on the info revealed by Yae at the end of the quest. At the time I thought that the puppet was alive because of something within it (an object, possibly) that was imbued with a consciousness of a living being. I think later (with Ei's character stories and her quests being released) it was revealed that a puppet, when created, already has its own consciousness: Ei clearly taught Raiden Shogun what and how to do, and then sealed her own consciousness away in a sword within the puppet. Thus, it appears my theory was incorrect: a puppet can live on its own without having someone else's consciousness being directly placed within them to make them function. So, now that I think of it, Scaramouche probably does not have anything within him directly tying him to Ei's consciousness.
However! If we still address my initial theory, at the time I thought that a puppet had to function off of a piece of consciousness of their creator. Ei clearly was distraught and in an emotionally vulnerable state when she created Scaramouche. Because of the scene at the Delusion Factory and something Scaramouche said at the time about the wishes of humanity (probably about the worthlessness of human life and the fleeting nature of human wishes), I thought that he, while still being with Ei, kind of "inherited" her grief over the fleeting nature of life together with a piece of her consciousness. Ei wanted to protect her people and prevent any possible calamity so badly that it turned unhealthy (as we saw from the Inazuma Archon Quest line). So I thought that at the time when she was still very disturbed by these emotions she unknowingly transferred them onto Scaramouche, making him see the world and life as something meaningless that will inevitably end in ruin. (Because I thought that he inherited only a part of her consciousness, I kinda-sorta saw it as him inheriting the result without the reason behind it: he got the same strong negative emotions of Ei, but did not get the reason for having them, so he was, in my eyes, unable to process them and move on). I think this is the best explanation I can give for what I meant at the time.
A very good question! I am not sure if Gnosis can be altered in such a way and become a host object to someone's consciousness (because it's something coming from Celestia, I assume it works in very mysterious ways), but Scaramouche definitely misses it. Another question to ponder is why he misses it - is it because him holding the gnosis was supposed to be his primary purpose and he feels like not having it makes him incomplete (quite possibly literally - Raiden Shogun has no place for gnosis as far as I remember, while Scaramouche was designed specifically to hold it. Does it mean there is a "detail (gnosis)" missing in his physical construction)? is it because him not having gnosis made him think of himself as inadequate and became a source of some of his possible insecurities? is it because of the overall gesture of what he sees as his creator rejecting him? I think what it boils down to for me is whether him not having the gnosis a more of a mental struggle, physical or a combination of multiple factors? Also, - and I'm sorry for going on a tangent - personally, what interests me is Scaramouche's tendency to insist that he does not have a heart. He seems to associate the heart with the gnosis, but at the same time does not associate the gnosis with capability of having (positive) emotions? I'm sorry if this sounds convoluted; basically, what I mean is that Scaramouche seems to be a very Tin Man of Oz character when it comes down to his aspirations (he wants to have a heart). Nevertheless, going back to the question: I would assume that the object could be a heart, possibly not gnosis, but something that would fulfill the criteria of a living, feeling heart. His consciousness would in such case be probably connected to/be part of Ei's, as she would be his sole creator. I find the idea of a hat being the object to be very amusing and possible - why not? The bird is also a good idea, but I think its symbolism is even more significant than that (plus, my initial assumption was the object with the consciousness had to be sealed within the puppet to make it alive).
About Ei and Scaramouche. This is where... I have thoughts. Because the amount of the canon resources on the relationship of the two is quite daunting for me to engage with, I went to the Wiki to refresh my memory. Nevertheless, I think it's overall a much more nuanced and delicate situation than it seems to be at first. First of all, I agree that, to an extent, Ei could see a reflection of Makoto in Scaramouche, but I don't think that she rejected his vulnerability because she saw it as a weakness in a perfectly direct sense. I think she sensed that he was a gentle creature, and holding a gnosis would be too much of a burden for him. Though Ei did become emotionally closed and distant, I think her abandoning Scaramouche was a gesture of good will - she did not want to subject him to the burden that could become insufferable and even possibly kill him (we still don't know how exactly holding a gnosis affects a person except for amplifying their powers). I think that after witnessing the Cataclysm and possibly blaming herself for not being there for Makoto Ei decided not to cause any more harm to her creation. At the same time, I do think she considered his emotions as a source of possible unpredictability: to be influenced by strong emotions is to be in direct opposition to achieving euthymia, and so I think Ei, seeing Scara's state, could not imagine their co-existence in the Inazuma of Eternity she wanted to create at the time. To conclude this, I think that Ei, who was bottling up her grief and negative emotions, could not accept at the time someone who expressed their feelings so easily and out of control, so she decided to part in the most humane way she could figure out at the time (and Scara, of course, has a completely different opinion on the matter, which is also valid).
Sorry for such a long post! I hope I managed to answer all the questions you had ☺️ and yes, I'd be very happy to hear your thoughts on the matter of shogun's family if you're willing to share!
#genshin impact#afinna explores teyvat#genshin impact thoughts#thormanick answers questions#genshin impact scaramouche#genshin impact ei
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Is anyone else amazed that Hawks was only "undercover" with the Leauge for 6 months at the most.
Not only that, one and a half of those 6 months were spent just trying to gain enough trust to infiltrate.
I know it seems like much longer since Hawks made his Manga debut 2 years ago. But he had such a short amount of time on this mission. Hawks was introduced in the manga with his role being the "double agent". We literally have not seen Hawks outside of his "spy" role. Even when he is interacting with other characters outside of the Leauge, his "mission" is still happening in the background.
It seems Hawks made contact with Dabi right before the Hero Billboard chart, this is when he starts trying to infiltrate. His interaction with Dabi in the warehouse begins immediately after Endeavors fight with High-End:
During this time, Dabi is testing out a High-End Nomu for doctor Ujiko. Which means by the time Endeavor fights High-End, the My Villain Academia arc is already happening. Hawks is assumed to be one of the "members" Dabi is trying to recruit:
The Leauge has already made contact with doctor Ujiko, and the Doctor sends Dabi to test his High-End Nomu out on Endeavor (even though Dabi didn't know it would be Endeavor) while the rest of the Leauge battle Machia. At the time, Dabi still doesn't trust Hawks at all and he keeps the hero at arms length. While Dabi and Hawks are sharing ominous phone calls, the Leauge is hauling ass and it take's Shigiraki a month and a half to finally beat Machia. (The MLA is "defeated" too):
After a month and a half of phone calls (while the Leauge gets their asses handed to them by Machia in the background) Hawks is finally allowed into the Leauge when the battle of Dekia City is finally over. Dabi let's him in because Hawks "kills" Best Jeanist.
But there's a problem. By the time Hawks is let in, The Leagues numbers have drastically increased. They have an army at their side, multiple High-End nomu, and are now called the MLA:
Hawks blames himself, saying that he was "too late". That so many civilians would be alive now if he had been faster. He couldn't round up the Leauge when they were a small group, and now they have an army. A powerful one:
He's in too deep now. And you can see the stress on his face. I bet he never expected to be part of an army. He was simply tasked to round up the Leauge members while they were a small group, but the MLA was completely unexpected. Still, he decides to improvise and do the best he can with the shitty cards he's been dealt. It's not like he has another option at this point.
So he slips a coded message to Endeavor ASAP. Basically saying "yo, in four months shits about to go down. Ttyl I'll keep you posted lol". He can't tell the guy in person now, because to make things harder, he has camera's on his wings. (and even though he's being watched by camera's, he also gets followed by guards at the mansion):
After Hawks relays the massge, he stroles around the mansion with his bodyguard and heads towards the cafeteria. With a little eavesdropping (courtesy of his feathers) he also finds out that the Leauges plan is to "Destroy Everything" in four months:
After he relays the massage to Endeavor, he listens to the Leauges plans of destruction as his thoughts run a thousand M.P.H.
Because now "capture the Leauge" has turned into "Holy shit I now only have 4 months to take down a full fledged terrorist organization/army from the inside-out by myself while I'm being monitored 24/7 with absolutely no privacy & also a full time job as a hero + a public image to maintain. And I can only contact my fellow pro's about this mission through code because if the villains find out I'm a double agent I could be killed and Japan could be destroyed. Also some heros have even joined the MLA so who on my own side can I trust? Only a select specific few for now I guess."
If you thought things couldn't get worse your wrong.
Because around 2 months before the raid Hawks' heart (that wants to be free & has a genuine desire to help people) takes shit a bit too far when it makes him get attached to a certain powerful villain.
Hawks quckily finds out that Twice is easily the second most powerful villain in the Leauge after Shigiraki. He's an S ranked villain and he'll kick your ass with the power of friendship anyday. He's a great guy, but him and the Leauge are still planning on doing horrible things within the next 2 months. Twice is going along with it because he wants to stick by his friends, which y'know, is a cool motive. But considering that fact that the people Hawks is trying to protect ALSO have friends, and family's, this makes shit difficult and sends Hawks on some major guilt trips. (I would show all the panels of Hawks sadly smiling as Twice calls him a "good guy", but alas- Tumblr has informed me that I've reached my 10 image per post limit)
And tbh who wouldn't feel bad about suddenly getting attached to such a golden retriever of a man and then realizing you'll have to double-cross him at some point! I'm not surprised Hawks would feel this way, especially considering the fact that he never wanted to take on this mission in the first place.
Hawks is very much a people person, and he HATES lying even when he has no other option. This is a man who got "shivers up his spine" when he had to put on a serious face while handing Endeavor a book with coded messages inside. He literally felt icky and thought "this is low even for me" just because he had to use a deadly expression so that Endeavor would get the gist.
And when the Commission made their "proposal" about this mission, Hawks' first reaction was to call them out on their B.S. for asking him to put civilian lives at risk. He even admitted that he was feeling bad about sending Tokoyami away while talking to Deku, Shoto, and Bakugo. Hawks felt guilty about not being able to spend more time with his student, but considering that things with the MLA were starting to get riskier, and that Hawks literally handed Endeavor a book with a coded message inside about an uprising 2 seconds later, I can see why he wouldn't want to risk Tokoyami being around him. The fact that the camera's on Hawks' wings caught his interactions with Endeavor & the students also makes the creep‐factor worse. The MLA saw everything AND talked about it in a meeting later. Continuing to train with Tokoyami would put him at risk.
I love the complexity of Hawks' character, he's incredibly intelligent, logical, and intuitive. But at the same time throughout this entire mission his heart is constantly battling with his mind. Even when he knows he has to grit his teeth and do something shifty, his heart never fails to put up a fight with his logistics. Honestly it's been a pattern for a while that Hawks' sympathy always "Trips him up" in some way, so idk why I didn't see it coming around to bite him in the ass later.
(Tbh it's hard for me to see Hawks as a this super "Morally Gray" person that the fandom likes to paint him as because of a mission that he only spent 6 months on. I personally, kinda see Hawks as a "good person" who works for a "morally gray" agency. But that's a whole different meta)
Basically, Hawks getting attached to Twice wasn't a surprise. But considering how powerful Twice was, along with his role in the League's destructive plans (He was a lieutenant in one of the MLA's "Units") the discourse going on in Hawks' mind makes sense. By this point Hawks has already figured out all of the MLA's "Units" along with the three "bosses" that support the lieutenants of those "Units". It's noted that those "bosses" are extremely powerful and can match the strength of the heros as well. It took Hawks an entire month just to figure out all of the "Units" members. (I would show the panels explaining all of this but I'm at my photo limit)
All of these members were tasked to follow their lieutenants and bosses, and the plan was to attack all of Japans major cities at the same time. Once the cities were destroyed and chaos had set in, Redestro and feel good inc. Would distribute support items to the remaining citizens in the name of "self-defense". It would create a country full of discourse and destruction where Redestro and Feel good inc. Would rule from the shadows. But Shigiraki would be the main leader. He would become "king" and sit upon a "throne of rubble". (At least this was the MLA's plan, Shigiraki himself just kinda wants to destroy everything. But I suppose this would make things easier for him to do that.)
needless to say, the stakes have been upped excessively. But it took Hawks an entire month to gather this info.
This post is honestly just me marveling at what an M.V.P Hawks is
My guy literally only had 4 months to take down an entire terrorist organization for the inside-out. AND he was being monitored during that entire time. He figured out the MLA's intentions within the first month of being there. And it took him another full month to go into detail and figure out all the members, bosses, and lieutenants, for each of their "Units". Hawks even went as far as to immerse himself in the MLA's ideology, and he had in-depth discussions with the MLA's members. HELL HE EVEN FAKED HIS CO-WORKERS DEATH JUST TO GET IN.
AND HE PRETTY MUCH IMPROVISED ALL OF THIS SHIT!!! The original plan was to capture the Leauge when they were a small group! But by the time Hawks managed to infiltrate, The Leauge already had an army! They were a full-blown organization! And Hawks just kinda rolled with it??? He just kinda bullshitted his way through??
Like, "okay I'm now apart of an army I guess. The Leauge is now an entire organization and they're planning on destroying Japan in March. Let's see how this goes. I'll just have to make this work"???
LIKE HOW THE FUCK IS HE NOT DEAD! WHAT A FUCKING MADLAD
#bnha#mha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#hawks#keigo takami#takami keigo#bnha hawks#hawks mha#mha hawks#hawks bnha#bnha spoilers#bnha meta#hawks meta#pro hero hawks#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#mha manga spoilers#bnha spoiler#mha spoiler
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Innocent
Part 2
Trigger warnings: vore, mouth play, dehumanization
Part 1
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For the past week Wilbur had been taking care of Tommy, teaching them things that kids his age should already know, and becoming more attached to them then ever- oh and also he'd been failing at teaching the kid to hide from other humans. Wilbur had quickly learned that this kid had absolutely no fear of humans, which wouldn't be a bad thing if it weren't for the social norms that were eating tinies, killing tinies, and basically torturing them. Most humans didn't view tinies as people (Wilbur included a few weeks ago), so much so to the point that it had taken Wil twelve hours to find a kids show without eating tinies in it for Tommy to watch; and he wanted to make sure that Tommy knew to hide from humans because of it. The problem was no matter how many times he told Tommy to hide, played hide and seek where he'd pretend to be the "big bad human" to teach them to hide, and no matter how many times he told them to stay hidden whenever someone came home- Tommy always, ALWAYS, would run out into the open to see Wilbur whenever he came home from work, and even playing hide and seek. There seemed to be absolutely nothing he could do to teach this kid to avoid humans and he was running out of time.
Wilbur's roommate Dream had been gone for the past few weeks to visit an out of town friend, and Dream was like Wilbur. He was raised with the same social norms and ate mostly the same things which meant if Dream came home while Wilbur wasn't there and found Tommy- well, Wilbur really didn't want to think about what would happen, but he knew it would be bad. All he knew was that Dream was coming home at the end of this week, and Wilbur still had yet to instill some sort of instinct to hide from humans in the little tiny he'd decided to adopt, and unfortunately he had to work this weekend… so Tommy might end up being alone when Dream arrived… fuck.
"Tommy…." Wilbur spoke up, looking down at the tiny kid curled up in his hand as they looked away from the TV and up at him. "I have to work again this weekend, do you remember what I told you what to do when I'm at work?"
"Hmmmm oh- uhm, wait for you!" Tommy smiled up at Wil and he couldn't stop himself from smiling softly back, and ruffling their hair with finger.
"Yeah, and what else?" He asked and watched as their adorable little face scrunched up in concentration as they tried to remember, their tiny little cheeks puffing up to show just how concentrated they were.
"I gotta…. I gottaaaaaaaaaaaaa eat food when the clock is loud!!!" Tommy smiled as he assumed he got the right answer. They weren't wrong, Wilbur did leave out lunch for them and they weren't supposed to eat it until an alarm he had set went off- but that's not what he meant.
"True- but I mean hiding Tommy, you need to remember to hide if someone comes here." Wilbur lifted the kid up to his face to show how serious he was about this- but Tommy only jumped onto his nose to hug it.
"But what if it's you! I gotta say hai!!!" The child whined, and Wilbur couldn't stop the small giggle that escaped him as he went crossed eyes to see them.
"You can say hi once I say it's me- you remember how to know if it's me right?"
"Mhm, you yell AYUP!! Whenever you're home!" Tommy smiled, happy he could remember.
"That's right, so if anyone opens the door this weekend you need to hide until you hear me say-"
"Ayup!!"
"Yeah! You got it bud! You're going to do such a good job!" Wilbur praised them, but silently hoped Tommy actually did it this time unlike all the other times this week when they'd just run up to the door in excitement.
"I know I am!!! B'cause I'm the amazing Tommyinnit!!!!" Tommy giggled as he tried to climb higher on the bridge of Wilbur's nose.
"Yeah kid… yeah of course you can…."
•••
"Alright Tommy, I'm going to work now- you remember what to do?" Wilbur shoved his trenchcoat over his yellow jumper as he stood at the door, looking into the living room where he could see Tommy sitting on the coffee table watching TV.
"Yep! Hide and wait for you!!!" Tommy yelled back.
"Good- I'll see you in a few hours okay?"
"Okie!!" Tommy yelled, and watched as Wilby went out the door and closed it behind himself. Now Tommy was alone, a familiar feeling to him after spending so long in his cage, but this time he could go around and do stuff while he waited for Wilby!
Tommy walked over to one side of the coffee table where there was a small starch of square sticky paper (what did Wilby call it? Post- pots- pass? Eet? Not? No? It was something weird-). Tommy climbed on top to the small stack, grabbed the edge of one, and started to pull it back while walking backwards. It didn't take long for him to fall over with the sheet of sticky paper, and once he had it he stuck it down to the table. Now for the easy part; AKA, grabbing the led (it's led right? He's pretty sure Wilby called it led) that was off to the side, and now he could draw!
Tommy layed down on top of the paper as he drew, sticking his little tongue out in concentration as he made little marks on the paper. At the moment he was really just drawing whatever came to mind: Wilby, himself, the sheep from inside the TV, his cage- anything that really came to mind.
He had been drawing for almost an hour before he heard the familiar clicks and scratching noises that meant someone was unlocking the door. It must be Wilby, he thought to himself as he stood up and went to the edge of the coffee table where a blanket was taped down. Tommy quickly slid down to the floor and started running to the door; he felt like he was forgetting something, but it probably wasn't important, and if it was then Wilby could tell him what it was. Tommy only stopped running once he was in front of the door, bouncing on his feet as he watched it open, smiling with excitement to see Wilby-
The big person who was on the other side of the door was not Wilbur. He was shorter and had dirty blonde longish hair, and green eyes. His face was peppered with freckles, and he was wearing a green hoodie.
Dream walked into the familiar house carrying a backpack full of dirty laundry after weeks of being away with him. He looked around curiously, he knew Wilbur was probably going to be at work when he got back, but it was weird that the TV was left on while they were gone. He shrugged it off, and just closed the door behind himself, and was looking at the floor as he turned around- Dream let out a startled noise at what he saw. There on the floor staring up at him with a face full of wonder, was a tiny, one that seemed younger then most.
"Oh… one must've gotten away from Wil" Dream reasoned to himself and reached down to grab it, satisfied as it didn't even try to get away- actually it started to giggle as he picked it up.
"Do you know Wilby?" The small thing asked, and Dream was a little confused by the nickname. It was obviously talking about Wilbur, but why would it be calling him that.
"Uh yeah?" As he answered, the tiny only seemed to smile more. Weird, usually it'd be scared by now.
"I'm Tommy, it's nice to meet you, Wilby's friend!" The tiny waved at him, and he just kept getting more and more confused.
"Nice to meet you too I guess…" Or more, nice to eat you, Dream mused to himself. He was sure Wilbur wouldn't mind if he ate this tiny, they were probably just saving it for later anyways- plus eating it would finally end the confusion he felt when thinking that food was adorable when having a goofy little smile like that. With that in mind Dream opened his mouth and tossed the tiny inside, trying to ignore the way it giggled at being thrown. He quickly closed his mouth around it and started to lick.
"Excuse me, big person" The tiny spoke up and he could feel it push back on his tongue a bit, but it wasn't much, almost like it wasn't actually fighting… "Wilby said I'm not supposed to let big people eat me."
"And why's that?" Dream asked, not even bothering to move the tiny out of the way as he spoke, and simply tossed it around in his mouth as he moved his tongue to form words.
"Well, he said mama isn't ready to see me yet!" Mama? Dream asked himself internally. Tinies don't have familial bonds, they're all just little snacks that people eat, yeah they're alive but that doesn't change the fact that it's just an animal meant to be eaten.
"He doesn't know what he's talking about, I'm sure she's ready to see you." He mused, since he might as well play along if only to not gag if this tiny started squirming.
"Okie!" The tiny shouted and suddenly it stopped pushing on his tongue at all, anything that had felt like the tiny might've been fighting against him stopped, as it just laid on his tongue. Then, when Dream began to lick again he heard some adorable (-not adorable, remember it's just food Dream) giggled from the tiny as he coated it with saliva. He didn't hear the tiny say anything else about the fact that it was about to die until he started to push it towards the back of his throat to swallow, "Bye bye Wilby's friend- oh can you please please please tell him that I went to mama? Thank you!"
With that Dream stopped. He pushed the tiny to the front of his mouth as he started to think about this weird tiny. He didn't know how but it… it was acting like an actual child. Like a real human child. Why had Wilbur really kept it- them? Him? What was actually going o-
"Dream stop!!!" Dream's thoughts were suddenly cut off as he was shoved to the ground and his mouth was for ed open. He coughed a bit after a hand grabbed the tiny out- and when he looked up to see who it was he was surprised by the sight.
"Wilbur!? What the heck!?" Dream shoved the other human off of himself, and didn't miss the way that they hugged the tiny child to their chest protectively.
"I could ask you the same fuuu- freaking thing!!" Wilbur scooted away from Dream and continued to cup the tiny to his chest, blocking them completely from Dream's view with two hands.
Dream took a moment to process the situation, glancing back and forth between Wilbur's hands and Wilbur's face and things slowly started to click. "You…. When were you gonna tell me you adopted a kid?"
"Well I was hoping to do it after we were both home and I could keep Tommy safe."
"Keep Tommy- keep the tiny- KEEP IT SAFE!? If you didn't want me to try and eat it you should've called or texted me before I got here!" Dream yelled, knowing that this would've been an easy solution that should've been quickly thought of- but of course, Wilbur in his dumbassery hadn't thought of that.
"Him."
"What?"
"He is a him, not an it." Wilbur corrected.
"Seriously!? That's the part you're focusing on!?"
"Yes, because Tommy is a person, a bit dumb for running out to see you, but a person." Wilbur smiles fondly as he says this and ruffles Tommy's hair with his thumb.
"Sure- but still, why didn't you just message me about him, you still have a phone-" Dream points out and notices an embarrassed look quickly grow onto Wilbur's face.
"Well I didn't really think of that…" They say and it makes Dream let out a small groan.
"Okay, I'm going to go do laundry, and when I'm done you can tell me all about this… Tommy." Dream stands up and leaves the two alone- but as he glanced back and sees the kid again he can't stop himself as he gains a fond smile. Okay, maybe he was a little adorable...
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Mcyt g/t list:
@trashpumped @lorie-the-little-ghost @encaos @i-am-a-weeb @wyforyu-gaming @5unfl0writ3r @colorfulsiren @moonmwah @iwasgoingtohellanyways @echoslime @wilbur-simp @trouble-off-grid @lilsyxx @smogs-0 @hello-world-im-snow
#mcyt g/t#mcytg/t#innocent au#tiny!tommy#g/t dream#g/t wilbur#tw vore#tw mouth play#tw dehumanization
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Hi! I've loved Sherlock since 2012 but I'm new in the Johnlock fandom. Your meta is one of my favorite! I totally agree that S4 is John's story/blog/alibi etc, but I wanted to ask you: if this time Sherlock is working with John to take Mary down, why is John jealous? How can he think Sherlock has feelings for her, if Sherlock wants her dead? Also: how do you think John faked his suicide? Is there a body? Maybe it's David's? I really hope it is all John's plan! It would be so smart and badass.
Hi, thank you so much.
It's funny you ask that first question because this (John's enduring jealousy) is a thing that was established the series 3 finale in 2014, and the particular scene in which it culminates is so convincing that it's not an exaggeration to say that currently almost no one knows what actually happened in it, which is in large part due to how manipulative Sherlock acts to John in the latter half of that episode, and also how people believe Mary's stated intentions (especially after her death, which was supposed to make her look like a saint, which definitely worked on viewers) and and underestimate John's intelligence.
Just to recap for anyone else: John's jealousy is conceived when Sherlock and John enter Magnussen's office and Sherlock deduces that the smell of perfume is Claire de Lune, which is the perfume Mary uses. This also comes right after the scene outside the elevator to his office, where Sherlock manipulates Janine into letting them in. John says, "But Sherlock, she loves you," and Sherlock says, "Yes, as I said –– human error," as John looks on, terrified. Later in the episode, John confronts Mary and says that the first thing Sherlock said when he woke up was her name. When Sherlock disappears from the hospital after being shot, in part because he doesn't want to be questioned by the police after who shot him, because he's trying to protect Mary to protect John, Lestrade asks John why he would disappear, and who he would be protecting from whatever happened in Magnussen's office. John asks the same thing, and then looks at Mary's perfume, which is sitting on the table next to him (he doesn’t even consider Sherlock is protecting him). To summarize, he assumes Sherlock is protecting Mary because he secretly loves her and that they had an affair, which in his mind is only confirmed later in the episode when John learns Mary was (is) an assassin, because John draws a correlation between him assuming Sherlock loved Irene and now Mary, to Sherlock being a sociopath and only being able to care about other sociopaths who enable him, which also means he could never love John. He says during the loft scene where they treat Mary as a client, “You two should have gotten married.” There's some comfort in the idea that Sherlock isn't capable of love to begin with, it's another thing to see this. (Something cool about its shape is it's echoed in Mary's wedding earrings, which are hearts with a hole in them, as well as the coin she shoots; "I will burn the heart out of you.")
So there are a couple explanations why John would still be jealous, even after him and Sherlock team up to stop her. The most simple is that it doesn't even matter to John that he's trying to kill her now, because he's convinced he's a sociopath for the majority of series 4, so he doesn't have any lingering feelings about turning against her now because he doesn't care about other people in that way. John isn't jealous to the extent that he wants whatever their relationship was (at least consciously -- there's a lot to talk about how he makes his subconscious insert of Eurus into a brazenly over the top sociopath that Sherlock has to learn how to love, but even then, John still locks himself into a sibling relationship where he's caged up and they can only see each other when there's glass between them to stop him from attacking him), so much as that there was any initial love/connection or sexual affair between them. Throughout TST, Sherlock follows a trail of breadcrumbs he thinks will lead him to Moriarty, but actually leads him to Mary, so the real events of that episode involved him realizing the two of them are working together (if he didn't already realize this at the end of TAB -- there's debate whether he is or if it's still subconscious, but either way he's right on the edge).
So John wants to stop Moriarty, or Mary for working for him (she's working with him, but they wouldn't know this yet, because it's being saved for the series 5 reveal), which compounds his anger at her betrayal, but he doesn't know that right away. He already has enough motivation before that because he still thinks they had an affair. Sherlock doesn't have sex with Janine, but John thinks he did. John doesn't even understand what that kind of relationship would be like, if there are any emotional feelings involved, which is why he asks, "So how does it work, you and the woman?" at the end of TLD. His jealousy is also magnified by the idea that he fell for a sociopath in Sherlock, so a lot of it is just swelling self-hatred that John can't escape, that keeps growing and growing until he's choking on it by series 4, so it still doesn't matter Sherlock is trying to kill her now. In the teaser for series 4 they were both drowning.
If anything, their covert mission being focused around her means that John probably can't stop thinking about it. If Sherlock loved her then he could he do this now?
Then he looks at himself, and he starts thinking about how whether or not he ever loved Mary to begin with, and then he thinks about how Mary was supposed to be different, and oh John actually fell for a sociopath for a second time just like Sherlock, so is he any different? Of course he should know that he is, even if he's wrong about Sherlock, but then he starts thinking about how his love for Sherlock actually makes him a monster, and that his love for him isn't real either because it could never be the same thing as him loving a woman, or maybe he could never love anyone to begin with, not really, and that maybe John himself isn't real either, maybe he isn't even a real person, or a person who should stick around at all. But no no no, first he has to stop Mary. He has to stay around to stop Mary. His goal for the first two episodes of series 4 isn't about trying to fuck Sherlock anymore, it's all about stopping her.
Of course we know that he can't stop thinking about it, because not only does he write Mary and Sherlock having a perfect relationship that doesn't exist where John is considered more worthless than a dog (calling back to Moriarty calling John Sherlock's pet by the pool in TGG), the cheating subplot established two episodes ago (and clarified by Sherlock in TAB, which is another explanation, but he isn't even aware that John thinks they had an affair), isn't addressed at all, even on the surface text/blog level in series 4. It's just dropped completely, which went over the heads of most viewers watching because they didn't even pick up on or remember it from before (fitting because it's not mentioned in John's blogs in series 3 to begin with iirc). John does this to absolve both himself and Sherlock, because there's no way he could resolve it without offering motivations for either Sherlock or himself to kill her. He finds ways to sublimate it though, because he has to make them flawed so it's a believable event. So to answer: John's jealousy is a huge, invisible, growing monster sitting at the heart of series 4 and everything that happens in it. It's largely irrational and trying to ask him why he would even think any of this would just make him retreat further into denial of the truth: that Sherlock loves him, which he's deeply afraid of.
When Sherlock manipulates John into thinking that Mary shot him non-fatally in order to cover for herself while saving his life, he's lying, because he literally died lmao. But he decides not to let John in on the secret, which is a huge mistake, and John can see through what he's doing and that Sherlock is using him, but he plays along in order to take Mary down. Sherlock underestimates John, so it's only fitting that Sherlock underestimates John again when he fakes his suicide, because John doesn't let Sherlock in on his secret, in part so he can know what he felt during and after the fall, because all of this is about the fall (and John tries to communicate with Sherlock while Mary is manipulating him, as we see at the end of TST with John’s note that is also dropped from the plot completely) (Sherlock does let John in on their plot to stop Mary sometime after the loft scene, but by that time John's already operating on his own to some degree, because Sherlock still isn't letting him in on the biggest secret of all that would explain everything to John). So because John is mastering the level of deception Irene, Sherlock, Moriarty and Mary (and Emelia Ricoletti) showed him over the course of the show, he would also leave a body behind. He would have planned it extensively, and part of that is by manipulating public opinion. He even gets really blatant with his prose and has himself sitting in front of a carpet of blood (calling back to how Sherlock sees the pile of blood before Mrs. Carmichael, explained here). You already saw this post but he would also need a body to draw Mary out of hiding by making the suicide convincing, which he also does by writing so many suicidal themes into series 4 so that when news gets out and people in-universe (and real life) react to his death, they put the clues together, which is like a double deception in order to make it seem impossible that he could have faked it. (#tw suicide)
So these plot points have been ongoing for seven years now lol and they’ll be key to series 5.
#sherlock bbc#john watson#mary morstan#sherlock holmes#john x sherlock#tjlc#meta#series 4#series 3#his last vow#the six thatchers#the abominable bride#the lying detective#john's blog#also about David: I haven’t seen anyone write about that in a while and I need to refresh my memory on the possibility#so I can’t really answer that one
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I'm pretty sure you've mentioned it before but what tribe does Étinenne belong to? Any specific details you can give?
Bonjour – hi hello pardon for the delay
I got super busy with work and stuff and then had to think of the answer because this is not a straightforward question haha and then had to revise the og answer to make it better.
Anyways this is going to be a Thing and a little bit all over the place but here we go.
As they say in the vernac’ attache ta tuque a’c d’la broche à foin.
Bref.
So
The island of Montreal was before colonisation a meeting hub for different groups of first nations. They’d come to what is now the old port area and trade, exchange, meet up, etc. But not no one really stayed permanently esque in that gen area in a long term type of way.
Keeping that in mind, Pointe à Callière is currently the museum that has the ruins of the old Ville Mariefortifications from the Maisonneuve era.
Both areas are super close to one another. Like it’s part of the same area.
After MUCH consideration and going back and forth (thank you 5ever @allbeendonebefore for the help – the real MVP) I’ve come to these following thoughts.
For starters, it’s more particular with étienne because Montreal is a city – but it’s also an island and a few years back they tried to like unite all the cities of the island into one giant city on the island. To some success. So – what path did I want to go with? And also both paths have their pros and cons and things that make it easier and harder.
I always chose the island one because it encompasses the Important Areas of the City and the ones with the Most History, so it’s easier to include More. Ish.
Ét would have started off as just Some Guy who appears where Pointe à Callière is. He’s a regular dude and he likes the vibe of the place and the comings and goings of the people in the area so he sticks around and lives his life. People (the First Nations people who were using that area as a trading/exchange/meet up hub) would tell him stories of their adventures/things that happened because ét seemed trustworthy and because he was the “local guy” who just happened to be there and et is curious and does fit in with crowds really well. Ét ends up “collecting” these stories and obviously finds them fascinating.
Throughout his early days, he picks up on these tales, makes connections with people and lives an ordinary life by the heart of the river and at the foot of the mountain [poetic license here]. Élyse may be his only constant by then, but their relation isn’t as close as it would be today. She too would come and go but she’d be the only one coming and going as frequently and because she too does not age like a regular human, ét would assume that’s the standard. The others who come and go don’t necessarily come back so he’d think little of it – or he’d see them again Much Later, so Clearly It’s Fine.
He isn’t aware of a bigger role he may or may not have just yet.
There would have been other “avatars” of the first nations groups that would come and go and they would have traded stories with étienne as well and that would be how he would get the cartiertales from the St-Laurent Iroquoians [who are, according to history, the group that happened to be there when Cartier showed up]
For now, étienne without knowing is like the personification of the Meeting Spot where everyone meets up. He has a connection to the spot but he’s still unaware of his raison d’être. Of course, he yearns for a sense of belonging, but whenever a group comes over for a bit and he thinks this might be it, it turns out that it’s not.
Eventually, by the time the Mohawks come and settle on the territory, they would be the first group that would make an actual real connection with Étienne and like invite him to join them. And seeing as Étienne has longed to belong to a Group, he’d join. Also since they seemed to actually want to stay in a more permanent way and not just – well growing seasons done so long and thanks for all the fish.
Étienne equally being a quick study of languages would also pick up really quickly and he’d fit in nicely with the Mohawks who could see potential in him/him being an asset.
It would be around these times that he’d start to realise that people around him – that he’d met just a few years back – that were just like him what feels like the other day – are changing when he isn’t. And it’s prolly around then that he realises he’s different from the others in his community and question why. The answers he gets aren’t satisfactory, but he grins and bears it and keeps searching for Others Like Him and he wonders if maybe those others whod swapped stories with him before, with warnings and caution knew something he didn’t.
The interesting thing with PAC as well is that they’ve done this thing a few years back called the Memory Collector – collections of memories and whatnot from people who’ve come and gone through Montreal from the og Montréalistes to current immigrants and everything in between. So Étienne being the actual Collector of Memories through people coming and going and telling him their stories is like – perfect.
He’d move around with the Mohawks and it would be the first time he’d feel as though he’d belong to a group so he’d associate with them as an identity.
In my humble opinion, my thoughts have always been that when Maisonneuve and co arrived and tried to get a village started, étienne, being the curious being he’s always been, woulda been intrigued by these newcomers and would have wanted to see how they lived compared to him and the people in his community. Also, with Maisonneuve and Co wanting to get a village started in like his area he woulda been like well hello neighbours! Come, come, here is the land! Enjoy!! So, he would’ve prolly wanted the others of his community to do the same and want Maisonneuve and Co to welcome the ways of his people as well. In his mind he doesn’t understand why these two groups – and others – can’t get along and just live peacefully together. He’s seen enough bloodshed and it’s Exhausting. He much rather have those evenings of trading stories and having a good time.
Also, an interesting note is that Cartier mostly just came, saw left-ish compared to Maisonneuve who was like “aight, let us live here Permanently” that changed the dynamics and also pulled at Étienne who again was like I Want Friends.
In the og village of Maisonneuve and his Montréalistes [yes, that’s what they were called at the time] there were different first nations ppl who decided to live with Maisonneuve and Co. So it’s not always easy to be like ah yes, étienne woulda belonged to X and Y. Hence this rambly mess.
Obviously and unfortunately, there were way too many conflicts btwn Maisonneuve and Co and the first nations folks and that would upset étienne who woulda wanted all groups to get along. In his opinion there were many resources for all to live happily. The Grande Paix de Montréal [1701] would have given him Hope TM that things could settle down once and for all.
On a side note, before Maisonneuve and Co arrived, Étienne would have not used the name Étienne. That would come post colonisation but I’m not sure when. At the time he would go by Tiohtià:ke.
In the early days of Ville Marie ét woulda still been more “first nations” than “bonjour I am now a Montréaliste” but he woulda offered his services/employment to Maisonneuve as a voyageur after a bit, because on top of errthing else ét woulda been hella intrigued by the idea of exploring the world and the fact that there were people who crossed the big ocean and who lived so completely differently from anyone hed ever known woulda boggled his mind and also to get away from the hot mess of conflicts going on. He woulda thought the Grande Paix would have brought back the earlier trading hub/story swap vibes, but too many bloody conflicts he was tired of made him want to get a change of pace. Plus the fact that now he felt Attached to Groups so no longer needed to just Wait. And also the fact that said Groups were Not Getting Along would have made him want to Leave.
After a while of that, around [18XX] he woulda settled in the city and like been a merchant of sorts. [im still working on the notes and details, but he’d get tired of the trips and the conditions and it wasnt just go out and have fun and explore but there were too many issues as well and he just – wanted to have a good time, really, so hed go back to the city and change again]
By the 19th century, whatever ties with his og first nations roots he had woulda been completely washed away by the colonisation of the island – especially by what is now the old port/ville marie and he would have tried Real Hard to Fit In because of his curiosity and wanting to live like these european folk and because of how shite the first nations were being treated. George-Étienne Cartier would have been an Aspiration of his and someone he would have modeled himself after [way of life, personality, etc]
By that time he would also consider himself as French and first nation (Mohawk) as a second and maybe even third thought. Equally, compared to some other avatars, I feel like Étienne would have “lost himself” and is now unfortunately more disconnected from his OG first nation roots than others might (think Ed). The colonisation + the large amount of euros that came to MTL would have given him whiplash for years and would have been like a tidal wave over his head. All of a sudden the village boomed, it was a city and there were more of these french cathos than anything else.
For a good part of the 19th and 20thcentury, he would have identified as Catholic and French with very little regard to his first nation roots. The og village of Ville Mariewould now be an actual thriving and important city and offering more opportunities for growth to him/suddenly MTL city is super relevant. He’d get swept up by the fast pace and the “glamour” and pretty words and it was easier to just go with the flow than to fight. He’s always been someone of good times and parties and of celebrations over everything else and obviously it wasn’t always easy for everyone in the city, but it certainly is when you know the right people and you’re on the up and up as an Important City.
Post Oka crisis (1990s), I think he would have started lowkey thinking about his first nation roots again. Mostly because the crisis shoved it in everyone’s faces in a big way that hadn’t been heard in a Long Time. And maybe slowly slowly like veeeerrry slowly reconnecting. But feeling v lost and overwhelmed by it bcs is that even still him? Was that ever even him? And if not then what the heck even bcs thats like centuries of his life just – forgotten and lost. But to a point he’d also relate with the immigrants who’d come to his city and then feel alienated from their og roots. And then also like even going back to it it’s not even what it was Before, because the Mohawks changed over the centuries as well [duh] as most groups do. Like with any language and expressions and fashions and such from any place.
Eventually at some point in the 21st century he would reconnect more and make his own amends with his identity and the multiple facets it has as well as coming to terms with certain events that happened btwn the euros and first nations over the centuries. The Catholic identity would peter down post 1970s, but the french id would stay even though he likes the multicultural aspect. Theres just something about being a little shit and also being Different in a Sea of Same, etc
In the end, he would attach himself to being Mohawk + French origins since those two would really be the two first groups that gave him a sense of like “belonging” in their own way. [And, obvi he’d belong to the queer community lamao]
Literally coulda just answered your ask with: Mohawk, French, Queer Lamao bit I turned this into a Thing TM oupsee.
And I totes hope this actually Answered the Question and you didn’t mean something completely different LAMAO
#rooniebuttercups#ask#answer#heeeey salut là#do you want info on étienne m maisonneuve and his Origin Story#lamao#this was a Thing#ive written one shots shorter than this#ask and u shall receive lamao#pc: montreal#étienne maisonneuve
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TBHK theory: is Tsukasa really the "abuser"? + the meaning of the ropes
So I know that it is a common belief in the fandom that Hanako was abused by someone close to him since he did say that "he forgives it". And since he forgives it, it's obvious that it must be someone important to him, right? And that someone is most likely Tsukasa... or is it?
The reason why we think that is because of Hanako's reactions to when he runs into Tsukasa. So I guess a lot of us just assumed that he reacted that way because he's scared of Tsukasa. But I think that rather being scared of Tsukasa, he's scared of himself. Remember when he jumped on Yashiro after Tsukasa first showed up? I can't find the post anymore but I do remember someone saying that reenacting a past traumatic experience is a common way to "deal" with it. Thus he jumped on Yashiro to emulate that because seeing Tsukasa made him remember when he killed him. Which is why he's always so uncomfortable around Tsukasa: because it makes him think of a traumatic event. Not necessarily because Tsukasa was the "abuser".
We also have this image:
Which makes us think that Tsukasa might be the abuser because Hanako is bound by ropes while a shadow that looks like Hanako is saying something in his ear. A common idea here, is that the shadow is Tsukasa, however I'm not sure about that. If it really is Tsukasa, then why does he not have the patch on his right cheek? It might just be me, but besides the clothes, I think that the obvious way to tell Hanako and Tsukasa apart is the patches they have on their cheeks. Hanako's is on his left cheek and Tsukasa's is on the right. But as we can see the shadow doesn't have Tsukasa's patch. If the shadow does have a patch then it's on the side that we can't see: the left side, the same as Hanako's.
Thus, I think that this shadow might, or might not be a metaphoric representation of Hanako himself, fucking himself over and tying himself town out of guilt because he killed his brother. Hanako is blaming himself. After all, we can also see the knife being bound as a way to remind himself of what he did.
Oh, and let's talk about the ropes.
Another belief is that maybe Hanako was abused with ropes, that Tsukasa may have been into... bondage?? And he did that to his twin brother?? This doesn't sound right, doesn't it?
Tsuchigomori says: "you're always covered in cuts and bruises" but there's no mention of ropes. I mean, I'm only assuming here, but if the abuser really did use ropes then wouldn't they be easy to see? Tsuchigomori also says that it happens every single day so all the bruises he has on his body must always be fresh/recent, right? I would guess that rope bruises are really easy to identify whether you're a nurse or a normal person.
But then... What the hell do the ropes mean?! Well I have an easy answer to give: those ropes are a recurring theme in TBHK.
Almost all of the covers of the volumes have ropes on them and even side art from Aida.
Look at this:
So there could be 2 different explanations for this:
1) Aida likes drawing ropes
2) Ropes are a metaphor for something
I think it's obviously answer n°2.
Maybe what I'm going to say sounds super obvious, but I feel like ropes are a way to show us that all of those characters are "bound" together. Their stories and lives are all tied together since they're all important characters in the story and they're the ones to move the plot forward.
We can see it especially here:
The rope is tied to Hanako's pinky finger, and most times, in Japanese culture they call that the "red string of fate". Basically, you're tied to someone else. Which is most times your soulmate. That whole rope thing means that all of those characters' fates are tied to eachother.
But now the last point: if I don't think that the abuser is Tsukasa and that the rope doesn't mean that Hanako was abused with ropes then what the hell does this all mean? Who's the abuser?
Well to be honest... I don't know.
I think the obvious answer here would be their parents. I mean, we know nothing about them. Where are they?? Could Hanako and Tsukasa be orphans?
Maybe they were abused in the orphanage, after all, it's common knowledge that Japanese orphanages are shit. (Or at least they were shittier back then, maybe now it's better but I'm not a specialist in the subject.)
Also, isn't it weird how we always saw past Hanako but never past Tsukasa? Why? Why haven't we seen him yet? Maybe because Tsukasa was abused even more than Hanako.
Let me explain: we got this whole explanation
This is in chapter 46 when Amane was talking about Scorpius and Antares, and how they're actually twin stars but that one of the 2 is brighter than the other so you can only see one of them. (Sorry for the quality of the image, I can't find better.)
This is obviously a metaphor for Amane and Tsukasa. So what does it all mean?
Well, long story short: I think that Tsukasa wasn't allowed to go to school while Amane was.
If my orphanage theory is correct, then I would guess that the orphanage had funding issues (I mean, it's a problem even to this day and not only in Japan. Orphanages being short on money because the governement doesn't care enough to help abandoned kids is ocurrent.)
So I don't find that hard to believe that the orphanage might've been like "Fuck it! Let' send the older twin brother to school and the younger one can stay here. We can't afford to send all of our children to school after all." I mean it's weird, right? That in the flashback Tsuchigomori didn't even mention Tsukasa. If Tsukasa was really going to school and was the abuser then wouldn't Tsuchigomori be like "oh, it's weird how your twin brother doesn't have any bruises while you do. Is he the one to do this?"
But no. There is absolutely no mention of Tsukasa whatsoever. Which is really, really weird. I had twins in my classroom throughout elementary school and middle school and they were always put in the same classroom. So if Tsukasa really did go to school I would guess that they would not only be in the same classroom, but also Tsuchigomori would bring him up.
Thus while Amane was in school, Tsukasa was the one being abused, and that's why he's so fucked in the head. Because Tsukasa was actually the one getting most of the beatings, the cuts and the bruises.
Of course, school in Japan lasts longer than in the west with the clubs and all. But I would guess that Amane didn't join a club because he wanted to get back as quickly as possible to help his brother. That's why Amane didn't have any friends. Because he would always rush to the orphanage after school.
I think, Amane being the caring big brother he is, he would take the abuse instead of Tsukasa when he was "home" to protect him as much as he could, but since he was at school most of the time, Tsukasa was the one taking most of the beatings.
And since Amane was going to school, I would guess that they went "easier" on him so the teachers wouldn't call the cops on them. That's also why Amane decided "not to go anywhere anymore."
Because whenever he's away from his brother, Tsukasa gets hurt. Amane decided to throw his dream away to protect Tsukasa from the abusers.
And so, that is also why I think that Tsukasa has a mental illness. That's why he's so much more emotionally unstable than Amane. Hanako has obviously problems too, but Tsukasa is the one who got the short end of the stick.
I would guess, Tsukasa may be a sociopath at this point. A current belief, is that sociopaths like to hurt animals/kill them to feel something. When someone is abused, what the brain does is to "repress" emotions to feel less pain. That's how different mental illnesses get born.
For example, "dissociating" to feel like you're not you, to believe that it's someone else who's suffering right now your brain tries to make you believe that you're "out" of your body.
Dissociative personality disorder makes you develop multiple personalities inside yourself so you can switch between them and feel like you're safe while another personality is taking the abuse for you.
And then, of course, sociopathy, your brain "turns off" your emotions for you to stay "sane" but funnily enough, in the long run it makes you insane since you can't feel emotions in normal situations anymore.
A lot of mental illnesses come from traumatic experiences, they're defensive mechanisms after all. Mental illnesses are your brain trying to protect you from excessive pain...
This got dark real quick, sorry.
Anyway, this whole theory started with a thought I had: "Why would a sibling, not to mention a TWIN, abuse his brother?"
The conclusion I came to is: they wouldn't.
I'm not saying that it's definitely impossible at a 100% but I always found that weird how everyone thinks that a twin sibling would abuse his other sibling. Especially since twins are so close.
And to end it all...
I think that what went down with the Yugi siblings is that, one day they decided to end it all. They couldn't take the suffering anymore so they decided to kill themselves.
But right at the end, Tsukasa's emotions finally kicked in and he got scared at the last moment. And so, he begged Amane to finish the job. Amane then got traumatized from killing his brother and he ran to the girls' bathroom and hung himself out of guilt. Or maybe he also stabbed himself like Tsukasa? Who knows.
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“You’re almost at the door”
☪ group: Red Velvet
☪ genre: angst, angst, angst!
☪ word count: 2.6k
☪ notes: ok so first post and it’s FULL ANGST but there’s no better way yo strat. enjoy!
GIF not mine. Creadits to the owner.
You heard the slamming of the door. Joohyun took her sweater before leaving. For the first time in the whole night, you let the accumulated tears come out.
The two of you started arguing almost four hours ago and didn't stop yelling at each other until your girlfriend decided it was enough. You could see the finality in her eyes; the last time you connected eyes shook you to the core.
You were left lying on the floor. Crying in anguish and fear. You were afraid. Scared that she would surrender and abandon you. Frightened that things couldn't be fixed. Terrified that she'll find someone else. So you sobbed for the rest of the night like that would help. As if the ten fights you had in two weeks were easy to ignore.
It was overwhelming. You'd been married five years now. Only 21 when you tied the knot. Time flew by, but it was enjoyed to the fullest. Even now, when there were days you couldn't look at each other's faces, you yearned for one another as if your life depended on it.
☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:✧
She wanted to start a family. That's why you were constantly at each other's throats. But you didn't feel ready and she always used the argument that her "youth was not eternal". You wanted to give her all the happiness in the world because that's what she deserved. But both of your careers were just taking off and a child could get in between that.
The moment the light started leaking through the curtains didn’t catch your eye. Staring at one point in the ceiling you laid on your back. You felt empty. The relationship no longer had an escape route. It was either fixed now or never. But you didn't want to be the one that begged for forgiveness. Joohyun had to forget her pride and apologize for the first time in her life.
So the doubt stayed for a while. Your fingers lingered over the call button, hesitation present for a few seconds. If you called her, you'd be the one who'd regret it. Again.
You ended up swallowing your sorrows and blocking the phone.
☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:✧
The week went on while you tried to forget about her absence. The questions of how and where she was were buried. You ignored the loneliness of going to bed and waking up with no one by your side. And you failed to cook anything moderately edible. And all that lasted for exactly seven days, not a word from Joohyun.
Until the papers arrived.
You stood up one Friday night to reluctantly answer the door. The movie you were watching remained in the background. It ended up being Seungwan, who quickly handed you the envelope before giving you one last look of mourning.
“I’m sorry, Y/N.”
Was the only thing she said before rushing back through the hall. And you could have sworn that the shape walking towards the elevator was Joohyun's.
And she had every right to be sorry. When you opened it and pulled the documents out, it felt as if your hands were on fire. Breathe was knocked out of your lungs and the waterfalls in your eyes appeared. A muffled scream left your throat before hitting the ground. The only thing you could hear was white noise as you lamented yourself for the rest of the night.
☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:✧
For the tenth time, you cried in the back seat of a taxi. You were sure that by this point the whole city knew about your heartache.
The man in his sixties, whom you managed to recognize as Jong-Ho, glanced at you in the rear-view mirror of the vehicle. He shared a look of empathy as if he truly knew the feeling. He flipped his head and stared at you once the light turned red. Looked as you sobbed and drained all the water in your body in the form of tears.
You got off at the entrance to your building, quickly paid for the ride, and then apologized for the mess. When you walked in, the security guard gave you the same look like the taxi driver, already used to seeing you in this condition. You kept going, staring directly at the floor, all the way to the elevator.
And you weren't brave enough to connect your eyes, afraid it would get worse when you realized he pitied you.
Back in your apartment, you laid on the couch, ditching your shoes on the way. You managed to spot one of your cats in the corner of the room. Relaxed, asleep, not even moving when you walked in. Your eyes moved to the empty canvas in the other corner of the room, next to the discarded negatives on the floor.
Your mind went blank.
The older techniques of photography were not interesting in your opinion, but after Joohyun's insistence on saving your memories, you were unable to resist. You ended up not turning them into positives after all.
The couch creaked as you got up. With little strength, your feet headed where you were looking. Standing in front of what could be the entire narrative of your relationship, the tears began to stream again. You couldn't stand all the feelings, falling to your knees.
You picked up one, then another, a third one followed. You ended up remembering the fifteen years you spent together. Despair won, making you search for your phone on the outer pocket of the jacket. You dialed the number of the person who loved you the most. The number of the person you loved the most.
"Hello?"
You didn't hold out. Sobs hit the device while your eyes wandered on the sequence of images. Joohyun laughing on her high school desk. You remembered everything as if it happened just seconds ago. How the teacher hushed you both for giggling too much. How your, at the time, best friend used you as a support to keep from falling to the floor. How you felt your stomach squirm with the joy of the moment.
"Y/N?"
The crying intensified. With one arm used as support, you looked for another negative, found the one you took of Joohyun blushing, hiding her face from the camera with her hands. Your mind reminded you of the different emotions that crossed her eyes when you confessed your feelings. How they narrowed at first, then flooded with tears that wanted to escape and finally lighted up. The memory of how she rushed over made you feel butterflies.
"Y/N!"
You took the roll of pictures of your then-girlfriend in your hands. Sleeping too peacefully to seem real in your shared bed. You felt as if that day was yesterday. Remembering the euphoria when she got on her knee to propose earlier that night. The six years of relationship passed by in seconds. The thought of her rehearsing her speech in front of the mirror. And you also recalled that when you said 'Yes!' she looked as if she felt like the luckiest woman in the whole world. Because when you hugged, a tornado destroyed everything in you and replaced it with pure happiness.
"Are you okay?"
It came as a whisper, almost inaudible. The same thing she asked you months ago when she introduced the idea of a divorce. You couldn't believe how raw everything felt. You tried to come to terms with what happened, but it just didn't stick with you.
It all resembled how Joohyun sat you down that one night. When she told you she was done with everything, that she couldn't take it anymore. You remembered listening to Joohyun tell you that all she wanted was a family and that if you weren't willing to start one, she would do it on her own. And then you felt everything again.
"I'm hanging up, Y/N."
You barely heard between your sobs. Remorse filled your system. Because if there's only one thing you could change, it would be your decision. You know you failed. You know that if you had just been a little less egoistic, you could be seeing her in person right now instead of crying on the phone.
You deigned to look up, where your blurred vision fell on the blank canvas. You hadn't been able to paint anything ever since she left. You were aware that your muse has moved on from you.
The only thing that came to your mind every time you picked up a pencil was the image of your tired wife, laying on her back, asking you to go back to bed. And you realized that you will not be able to witness anything like that again, the only thing that you could do is dream about it until you wake up alone again in a bed you used to share.
Because Joohyun, the person you loved the most, became a chimera. A memory you can only pray to have again.
"I'm sorry, Hyun."
Was the mumble that came out before the line went out. The last thing you said to her before the darkness consumed you one more time.
You saw her at an art exhibition.
☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:✧
Most of the pieces displayed were portraits. The artist wanted to bring back the essence of past centuries
The place was huge and the amount of walking was tiring. Your legs felt numb at one point. One of the armchairs in the middle of the room looked tempting, and you couldn't resist making your way over it.
You glanced around trying to find something to entertain yourself. The paintings in that room were still new for your eyes, even after almost three hours of wandering. It didn't take long to realize that you had paid too much to just sit for the last half hour.
On that kind of occasions, it was impossible to not ignore the other people. It was a personal moment, no better way to communicate something than through art. That's how you spent the rest of the visit. Discovering what you missed at first glance, staring at all the people immortalized on canvas, analyzing the artist's intentions with each brushstroke.
It took you by surprise. You were so focused on moving to the next room that it startled you for a moment. The air was knocked out of your lungs and you felt a lump forming on your throat. You turned around for a moment, recovered your breath and then faced her. She looked slimmer than you remembered. Your eyes burned like hell and tears threatened to escape.
You stared at her for what felt like years, but it was just a few seconds.
She was sitting, looking straight, her daughter holding her hand tightly. She was wearing a white dress from what you assumed was her wedding.
You looked her hands, how the corners of her lip rise a little. The way her shoulders were straight and looked smaller than usual, how they blended so well with her collarbones. She seemed to have no makeup on, but you knew her, and you also knew that she practiced for years to perfect that look.
Relief filled your body when you noticed the tiniest of light on glimmering on her eyes. The child looked just like her, with less marked features. The question of how much time she dedicated to her daughter arose. Probably every second she could.
You frowned and lipped. The tears were held back with some blinks, avoiding making a scene was your priority. You looked at the floor to arrange your mind. Calmness flooded your face when you glanced back at her.
You still couldn't believe how much you missed her. How much you longed to wake up every morning by her side. To see her preparing lunch past midday. Wearing your shirt and looking at you like you created the whole universe. You missed the slightest touch. The vague rush of your lips when you greeted each other, or her hand on yours when she knew you felt nervous. Even the way she'd grab you when a thunderstorm broke, something you used to hate.
You wished you hadn't seen her. Avoided the pain in your chest when your eyes met her figure. On her knees, praying to God.
Your last thought was that everyone was right. The painting did justice to people. Especially to Joohyun.
☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:✧
She had always tortured herself for her sexuality, and you knew that because you witnessed it all in front row. It was impossible to make her forget about her roots. You would have given everything to make her accept herself.
You could only watch her from the side. The Father met you to discuss a schedule compatibility issue. You had been asked if you could help with the preparation of an event, and the only reason you accepted was that you owed it to the school. It didn't take long to talk, less than an hour. Surprise hit you when you saw that there was no more sunlight coming through the window. You could tell that winter had come.
The last time you saw her was at the church you attended in high school.
Your guard was down when you registered his presence. Her back was as straight as ever, and it wasn't hard to recognize her form. Dark hair fell over her shoulders, barely reaching her low back. You saw the hands you once held clapped together, and the lips you kissed God knows how many times were begging silently for mercy. She was praying calmly, kneeling in the front row before the statue of Jesus.
You stood still. She left you still. That power she had and always will present, and you resented her for it. A grimace deformed your mouth and your eyes were screaming to be closed. You couldn't blink for so long that they burned, but you weren't sure if it was because of that or because the tears were already forming. At some point, in the middle of your trance, you got up.
Her breath was slightly labored, as if she wanted, about to do something but was debating if it was the right thing to do.
And then you saw it, the mirror that the two of them always made fun of. Why did they want a mirror in the middle of the altar, anyway? And you condemned yourself for directing your gaze at it. Joohyun's eyes reflected directly to yours. The air in her lungs escaped through her mouth. Neither of you had a clue on what to do. No more than ten seconds passed with both your eyes locked.
Vulnerability hit you when she turned around. A hidden strength made you look directly at her. She picked up her things and then took a deep breath. Her gaze met the floor for a moment, then it fell on you. Everything you felt was reflected. The longing and the loneliness marked her eyebags and she looked more tired than normal.
The time stopped for a moment. You saw tears threatening to come out of her eyes and you could swear that the grimace on her mouth was an attempt to smile.
You mirrored her. You gave her the biggest of your smiles. With salty tears streaming down your cheeks. And even though you already knew it wasn't possible, you tried to make her happy one last time.
It didn't work. You couldn't figure out what she was feeling. It looked like nostalgia, but it was mixed with a sense of joy. She looked at you for the last time before walking out. You wanted to call her, you wanted to tell her that you were sorry and that you were every day without her was horrible.
You were left behind again, only one beat was enough to erase the sorrow from your heart.
#red velvet#red velvet imagines#red velvet scenarios#red velvet reactions#joohyun#bae joohyun#irene#bae irene#irene scenario#irene imagine#angst
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bestie I need to know ur fav fic you've written... I can't decide which one is my fav so I'm having u decide for me (Idk if you've been asked this yet so I could sound real dumb LMFAO)
omg no it’s not dumb!! (I’ve never been asked about my writing process so this is exciting!)
this is hard just because i feel like I’ve written all of my fics for different reasons? like I’ve been in a bunch of different fandoms for a really long time and I grew up in a pretty small, conservative town in rural maryland (also catholic but that’s a whole other thing) so i got my hands on every piece of queer/wlw media I could. That being said, I never felt good enough to write about characters that weren’t my own, until I saw Atypical. Maybe it was because I watched both seasons in like a really long weekend? but the first fic I finished and posted was a casey x izzie fic that’s maybe 1500 words. So that really holds a special place in my heart even though it’s probably not the best and I was 18 when I wrote it.
I’m kinda assuming you meant fic for the wilds but honey put your sweet lips on mine literally got me through the 2020 US elections and it was also my nanowrimo project. Teenage Bounty Hunters was probably the last show I watched before the wilds and it tore me open and put me back together again. This was also the first explicit/smut fic I wrote so I think that was a big step for me. Like I said before I grew up pretty religious, so writing about christian queer girls fumbling around in cars was really healing. Also writing about girls kissing is fun hehe :)
I’m also chronically bad at finishing fics-thanks adhd- and I literally have a google doc of all of my fic ideas (lol remember that harry potter au? rip) and also ideas in my notes app and the stuff i share with my friends on here and twitter. I wrote to see the sun, to paint the sky in 6ish days?? I remember when there were legit like 2 fics in the wilds tag and I think when I posted it, it was the 20th fic lol. But I’m really proud of myself for writing so many words in so little time
(if I my ass can ever finish caught in the riptide-I will, I promise-then that’ll be the longest thing i’ve ever written and finished. plus, someone gave me that prompt back in december, so I really want to complete that for them :’) )
I know I haven’t really been posting that much fic (I’m sorry!!), but don’t worry, I plan on sticking around and yelling about these girls for a long long time. When I tell you, I’ve consistently thought about shoni or leatin or the unsinkable eight every goddamn day since december 11th, it’s a problem. I don’t think I’ve ever been obsessed with a show like this since maybe 2015 with Carmilla (God, remember that little webseries), like The Wilds truly lives rent free in my brain.
Moving forward, I don’t want to make any promises about updates or deadlines but just know I am writing (just slowly uwu). However, i’m really excited about my next two leatin fics!! The first one is a one shot that starts in the bunker and continues into their lives post-experiment. The google doc I’m writing it in is called “leatin pain” and idk some of y’all might be mad at me when i post it lol. It’s also based off of an evermore taylor swift song (no I’m telling) so....prepare yourselves now. This is getting long so the only thing I’ll say about the other fic is that if I do write it, it’s gonna be easily the longest thing I’ve written (think at least 25k). Post-bunker au, slow burn, angst, leah and fatin miscommunicating at their finest and everyone else is tired of their shit. Oh, also they all live together in LA because I love found family and I said so.
thank you so much for this ask!! i definitely wrote way too much and now it’s 3am and i’m once again emotional about this show
#theclearmindedstudent#LMAO I really wrote a whole novel for this ask#also i hope you like this answer because it's kinda a copout#also if we're mutual PLEASE send me an ask or dm so we can talk about writing together#i'm not saying i'll tell you all of my wip idea but i'm not not saying that hehe#my writing#the wilds!fic#the void
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“A long thread about my personal experiences during this election dealing with my Labour voting family deciding to out themselves as casual racists by voting Tory / Brexit Party in traditional Labour "Red Wall" heartlands
I come from a genuine working class family .
Grandparents were miners and domestic cleaning staff
Dad was butcher , mum was a cleaner and when she remarried after their divorce she married a miner .
I grew up in a two up two down terrace house that my parents rented from the local Co-op society and then moved into a council house in Kendray (Barnsley) when my mum remarried .
One grandad was a NUM union rep ( at Woolley Colliery alongside Scargill )
Other grandad was a NUPE union rep .
Mum and her sister were both UNISON union reps .
I guess what I'm trying to get across is that we were a proper Labour supporting family , cut us in half and we would have Labour running through us like a stick of Blackpool rock .
And yet in this election I was the only one still voting Labour, in traditional "Red Wall" Lab areas.
I'm in Sheffield but my family is split across the Barnsley area, some in Dan Jarvis' constituency, some in Steph Peacocks and some in the Penistone area that's just turned Tory.
How the hell did this happen ?
Why did my mum and step-dad and my Dad and step-mum all vote Brexit Party ?
Why did my brother and his wife and my aunt and uncle both vote Tory ?
They're not stupid people , my step-mum is a nurse and educated to degree level , my brother an accountant and educated to degree level and my sister-in-law a teacher educated to degree level .
We all lived through Thatchers annihilation of our communities when she went after the unions and destroyed Barnsley after and during the Miners strike .
My step-dad lost his job when Woolley Colliery was closed and never worked again .
So how the hell did they all come to abandon Labour and vote for parties whose policies are the complete antithesis of their own needs and aspirations ??
To answer that you've got to look further back than just this last few weeks or months or the last couple of years .
You've got to look a lot further back .
Before the Miners strike everyone I knew lived and worked in Barnsley , my grandparents jobs were in Barnsley , my parents jobs were in Barnsley , my aunt's and uncle's all worked in Barnsley as it seemed did all my friends families.
The aftermath of the strike changed that .
Most people were employed at the Pits or in industry connected to the Pits or in the service industries like retail , pubs etc where the Miners spent their wages.
When those wages went then so did the local economy.
New Labour in 1997 gave people hope of a change but all they brought to the area were low paid minimum wage jobs to replace high paid skilled industrial jobs .
People thought that New Labour when they got in would regenerate and revitalize these traditional working class Lab heartlands.
They didn't.
Yes we got a far better funded NHS and Sure Start etc.
But areas like Barnsley just got left behind , their Labour votes taken for granted.
Life had changed .
Only my mum still worked in Barnsley .
I moved to Sheffield because of work . My dad ended up in Stoke were he met my step-mum before they returned to Barnsley .
My brother , his wife and most other family members worked in other nearby towns and cities , even though they still lived in Barnsley .
Some like my Step-dad and aunt and uncle relied on the benefits system to see them through to retirement age .
Then along came the banking crisis , followed by the high street crisis that saw the likes of Woolworths bite the dust .
Quickly followed by a Tory & Lib Dem government pushing their disastrous Austerity policies.
Areas like Barnsley took another hammering .
Jobs lost in the local economy which had never recovered from Thatcher thanks to New Labours indifference.
Cuts to essential council services and cuts to the NHS locally meaning longer waiting lists and crowded doctors waiting rooms .
And in amongst all this comes Nigel Farage and Boris Johnson .
The poisonous bastards gave everyone in areas like Barnsley exactly what the needed , exactly what they wanted .......
Someone to blame.
Immigrants .
Immigrants let into this country by the EU.
Immigrants taking our jobs .
Immigrants using our NHS
Immigrants taking our council houses
Immigrants filling up our doctors waiting rooms
You see it couldn't just be the Tory's fault that things were rough because it hadn't gotten any better whilst Labour was in power.
So it has to be someone else's fault .
So Farage and Johnson must be correct when they blame immigrants and tells us all politicians are the same
Both narratives that have been pushed relentlessly by Farage , Vote Leave and Johnson
Farage and Johnson must be correct if the news on the telly says the same thing and asks them to come on all the time to talk about it .
Farage and Johnson must be correct if the newspapers all print the same stories blaming immigrants for taking our jobs and our houses and clogging up our NHS .
And Farage and Johnson must be correct if everyone on Facebook is posting the same Memes especially if greasy Brenda from the local chippy is posting it cos she obviously knows here stuff !!!!
Under Thatcher we knew who to blame , the Tory's.
But under Blair who did you blame for life getting no better because of New Labours indifference ??
The politicians , both sides because they are all the same , none of them give a stuff about us .
Under austerity who do we blame ?
Not the Tory's cos they've told us that we are all in this together and there is no other way , we have to all make sacrifices .
So we blame the immigrants , the ones that the EU are forcing us to take .
And by default because we tend to class anyone who's different to us as a potential immigrant then we blame any and all ethnic minorities
All of this whipped up to a frenzy since 2016 by the likes of Farage , Vote Leave , Tommy Robinson , Katie Hopkins , Hartley-Brewer , Rod Liddle and Boris Johnson and his Tory cohorts.
Aided and abetted by the usual cast of idiots at the BBC , ITV and Sky .
Sadly I watched this unfold with my own family over the last 3-4 years and didn't do anything like enough to try and counter it
I ignored the initial flurry of anti EU comments and social media posts partly because I was voting leave too, albeit for completely different reasons
I spent far too long just telling them to stop spouting racist bollocks when they moaned about immigrants instead of actually sitting down and explaining why the stuff they were reading , watching and sharing was wrong and factually false .
I ignored the anti Corbyn comments because I just assumed that when it came around to election time they would just hold their noses and vote Labour as we had all done for years before regardless of the leaders popularity , just as they all had in 2017
I finally realised I hadn't done enough when the election campaign kicked in .
I only work part time now and that's from home so I'd decided to get fully involved in the campaign both on the ground locally and on social media .
Boy did I get the shock of my life when I started posting stuff about Labours plans and manifesto on Facebook .
I got absolutely frigging mullered ...........
by my own family members and friends.
My posts were full of comments from them with arguments and rhetoric that had been drummed into them by Farage and Johnson over the last few years .
My timeline was full of anti Labour Memes .
It got that bad that I ended up deleting my Facebook account .
Most of the family aren't speaking to me and Boxing day this year when we traditionally all meet up at my mum's is going to be an absolute nightmare .
Then you realise it's not just yourself and your own family thats experiencing this .
You speak to a friend in Rotherham and find they've had the exact same experiences.
You get a call from your oldest son in the armed forces to tell you that he's up on a charge after getting into a scuffle with some of his colleagues after being called a muslim loving terrorist supporting traitor just for sharing some Labour stuff on social media
Living in Sheffield possibly led to me being a little insulated from Labours problems .
It's a multi cultural city and apart from the usual quota of nobheads and Tommy Robinson types we all live side by side with few serious problems.
Brexit didn't seem to be as big an issue inside the city as it did in the out-laying towns .
But in fairness things never got as desperate or demoralizing in the cities as they did in the town's and old industrial area's
We weren't looking quite as hard for someone to blame
Corbyn had a definite image problem on the doorsteps .
He had a massive target on his back and there's no denying that the media were able to hit it's bullseye with alarming regularity
But this hadn't been insurmountable during the 2017 election even in areas like Barnsley and Rotherham.
And I genuinely believe that had Jeremy Corbyn been just as intolerant towards immigrants and ethnic minorities as the Tory's were we would have had a very different result.
After all the country happily elected an absolute racist bigot instead of Corbyn
That's an absolutely disgraceful situation to find ourselves in especially when you also come to the realisation that members of your own family voted this way .
How do Labour get voters like my family back ???
More to the point do we actually want them back ???
I'm not sure I want to be related to my own family members at the moment because of their willingness to blame immigration and ethnic minorities for all our ills .
And yes we may have had the policies that would have addressed the problems that led to them voting for the Tory's / Brexit Party but you can't enact those policies if you don't get into government in the first place .
Would a different leader have made a difference to these voters ??
Yes to some of them .
Would a different Brexit policy have made a difference .
Definitely , to most of them
Did they vote this way because they're racist ???
Who genuinely can say ???
I hope that for the ones related to myself that it isn't a deep seated racism , rather just a reaction to a constant and unrelenting malign influence of the mainstream media , targeted Facebook memes and snake oil salesmen like Farage , Johnson and Cummings .
But I guess we won't know that until 2024 when we go to the polls once more , with a different leader , with Brexit no longer an issue and with the realisation that even outside of the EU nothing has changed in Barnsley and similar towns under this bastard of a Tory government”
Link below:
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Club Love
A few little notes:
I'm real nervous about posting this but hi! This will be multi chaptered & I promise Wonho appears in the next chapter! It's very loosely based on my own experiences hah!
The only warning for now is for profanity I guess, that may change in the future...
This will be cross posted on Ao3 as well
That's it I guess! Hope you enjoy ~♡
"I really don't wanna go to a club this is not my type of thing..." You said with an edge of exasperation seeping through the phone, as you lay in your bed refusing to get up.
"Oh come on (Y/N), we're in freaking Japan you can't just hole yourself up in your room all the time." Your friend Amber replied with a whine in her tone. "You gotta let loose and have some fun sometimes, pull that stick out of your ass for god sake."
"I don't have a stick up my ass, fuck you Amber. I just don't see the appeal of being in a crowded room with the music blasting and being pushed around by a bunch sweaty people. Also, some of us haven't taken 3 semesters of Japanese, it's not like I can even flirt with anyone." You answered a bit sulkily. You were studying abroad in Japan for the semester, and even though you tried to teach yourself as much Japanese as possible before coming, the University you attended until now didn't offer Japanese courses like Amber's did, so you never got a formal Japanese education.
"Flirting has no language just come on it'll be fun!" She begged.
"Alright fine," you answered with a defeated tone, "But I'm gonna have to be drunk for this or it's not gonna happen."
"Of course! Hurry up and get ready, we'll take the train to Shibuya and stop at a Sev and pregame with some Strong Zeros. Meet me downstairs at 11." She blurted excitedly.
"What the hell am I even suppo-" you started before you heard a click indicating that Amber had hung up the phone. You pulled the phone away from your ear and looked at the time, 22:37, before groaning and rolling over onto your stomach and burying your face into the pillow and sighing loudly.
After a minute or 2 you pulled yourself out of bed and walked over to the dresser and began looking for something to wear. You scrutinized your closet for a few more minutes before purposely ignoring your more risqué outfits and settling on a thin cropped black sweater with shoulder cut outs and simple but tight, high-waisted white washed blue jeans. You quickly threw on the outfit then walked over to your bed and sat on the floor, eyeing the few pairs of shoes you brought before deciding against the heels and putting on a simple pair of black flats. You then walked over to the mirror and looked at yourself, debating whether or not it was worth it to put makeup on, before simply applying eyeliner and mascara and being done with it. As you were grabbing your bag and throwing your wallet in it, being sure that your resident's card was in it in case the police decided to stop you since your University threatened they would, Amber was sending text after text telling you to hurry out. You responded quickly telling her to "calm her tits" you grabbed your badge to get back in the dorm and your passmo for the subway and left your room.
______
You, Amber, and another mutual friend Jules, were precariously sitting on a guard rail on the side of the road right next to Seven Eleven, each of you nursing your third strong zero and most certainly feeling a rather strong buzz at this point, arguing about the alcohol content of the regular cans versus the larger cans.
"Dude, that doesn't even make sense." You argued squinting at Amber and pointing a finger in her direction.
"How does it not make sense?" She questioned right back, "If I'm drinking a tall strong zero, it's like drinking 2 regular strong zeros and therefore has an 18% alcohol content."
"Are you stupid?" Jules jabbed at Amber. "Both the regular and tall strong zeros are labeled as 9% alcohol, which means drinking 2 small ones will get you more drunk than one tall one."
"That still sounds wrong to me..." you replied hesitantly, because for some reason Jules' argument was swaying you when you knew if you hadn't been drinking at all, you wouldn't have given it a second thought. "Either way I think the fact that we are having this conversation proves that we are well on our way to being drunk so we should chug the last of these and head to the club." You said before doing just that with the last of yours and cringing at the aftertaste. You really weren't a fan of grapefruit but it was the only flavor they had left at the Seven Eleven.
"Oh, someone's impatient considering I had to drag your ass here in the first place." Amber commented with a smirk before her and Jules finished their drinks as well.
"Don't let the alcohol get to your head. You couldn't drag me anywhere if you tried."
"Sure babe whatever helps you sleep at night." Jules replied with snark.
"You know, I'm feeling really attacked right now, maybe I should just go home." You replied sarcastically.
"And waste a perfectly good buzz? Nah, lets go." Amber answered as she got off the guard rail and you and Jules followed behind her, since she knew where the club was.
_____
"TADA!" Amber screeched. "Welcome to Camelot, AKA the best club in Shibuya!"
"How do you know it's the best club in Shibuya?" You asked sarcastically. "Have you been to every club here?"
"I know you're trying to be funny but I honestly probably have, you know I go clubbing on weekdays too."
"Yeah I know, because you always miss class the next day and ask me for notes. Honestly they can fail your ass for breaking the attendance policy."
"I'd like to see them try."
"Can y'all shut up so we can go inside?" Jules asked heading into the club and you and Amber continued to bicker as you followed behind her.
You all walked down the stairs to the front desk gave the attendent your residence cards to inspect and paid the 1500 yen entrance fee for the club. She gave all three of you 2 free drink tokens and permitted you to enter the club. The club had several small circular tables spread throughout where there were various people smoking and drinking. Straight ahead was the bar in which there was a small line of people waiting their turn to order drinks. Further to your right you analyzed the dance floor where there was a small crowd of people dancing and jumping up and down. There was a fog machine periodically adding more fog to the atmosphere and red green and blue flashing lights. At the very front of the dance floor there was a stage with a DJ hyping up the crowd. There were three platforms on the dance floor that only girls were permitted to dance on. No one explicity told you that, but you assumed that was the case when you saw security guards pull guys down from the platform if they attempted to get on them. The music was so loud you couldn't hear Amber trying to get your attention so she smacked your arm instead.
"Ow you bitch, what do you want?!" You asked loudly, trying to raise your voice over the music.
"Do you have 100 yen?" Amber questioned.
"Yeah, for what?"
"There are some lockers over there we can put our stuff in, it cost 300 yen for the night. I figure we could all just share one for 100 yen each."
"Sounds good to me! C'mon let's go." Jules shouted.
The three of you walked to the locker room, taking some money out of your bags before stuffing them in the locker and taking the key. Your friends left the key in your care since even though you were all a little drunk already, you were known to be the more responsible one. You all left the locker room and walked to the bar and used your first drink tokens. Amber and Jules got tequila sunrises while you just got whiskey on the rocks. Not the tastiest but hey, if you're gonna make it through this night you're gonna need to be much more drunk and it needs to be right now.
"Hey Y/N!" Jules shouted both her and Amber already finished with their drinks. "C'mon let's go dance on the podiums!"
"I'll meet you guys there! Lemme just finish my drink." You yelled back and the others nodded in agreement before running over to the podiums and jumping up on them, dancing like maniacs immediately. You sighed as you downed the rest of your whiskey, and shook off that familiar burn. You mumbled to yourself as you walked over to join them.
"God it's gonna be a long night..."
#monsta x imagines#monsta x scenarios#monsta x wonho#shin wonho#lee wonho#wonho#wonho x reader#slow burn
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Maybe it's bc I'm from a country whose gov wiretapped innocent people they saw as their enemies but I can't believe people PAY MONEY to get spied on so they what? Don't have to press a button?! I'm not angry or anything just absolutely baffled at how many people ACTIVELY choose this dystopian nightmare shit. Things are bad enough already so I just wonder how both those things (anger about fb&owning alexa) fit together. Not attacking you, just genuinely wondering about the thought process (1/2)
Valid question! Here’s my thought process:
First, the Facebook thing is actually less about the collection and sale of my data than...a really, really long tortured relationship with Facebook that needs to end now. Not that I agree with the collection and sale of my data! Because I don’t! But you should know my long history, because I think it explains my thought process.
I registered for Facebook early, when you still had to have an edu email address. I thought I had it locked down, private, friends-only. Then, a few years later, my boss walks into my office and closes my door and gives me a talking-to about “inappropriate Facebook posts.” To be clear, I was never a person, like, posting topless photos on Facebook or something, nor was I complaining about my boss really. It was more like, “Ugh, I have to work all weekend, sorry I can’t go to this party!” And she was like, “THAT IS PRIVILEGED INFORMATION THAT YOU WORKED ALL WEEKEND.” And I was like, ...how are you even seeing my Facebook, you’re not my friend? So (a) I was spooked, because when your boss yells at you because of Facebook, it’s terrifying, and (b) I was completely bewildered that she could even see my Facebook. Upon investigation, it turned out that at the time (and this was a decade ago), if you put down where you work, EVERYONE who also put that place down could see your Facebook, even if they weren’t your friend and your Facebook was friends-only. (I think Facebook has changed that policy now.)
So, terrified, I deleted my Facebook. But this was back when not having a Facebook caused this whole public outcry thing and my friends freaked out and so I gave in and re-started a Facebook, posting very little because I was terrified. But I still used it. Until I got depressed and started therapy. My therapist told me to keep a stress journal, where I wrote down whenever I felt a spike of stress, and going on Facebook consistently showed up in the journal as a source of stress. So, upon my therapist’s suggestion, I stopped going on Facebook. I still kept it instead of deleting it because I didn’t want people to freak out the way they did the first time, but I stopped using it.
Fast-forward many years, and in January of this year, I tried to open a Facebook for the psuedonym I use for novels. Facebook immediately flagged me as suspicious and asked me to prove I was me by uploading a photo. And I was kind of like, ....Why do you need my photo? What’s that going to prove? All I can assume is that, of course, they have a database of what we all look like. How they know I’m not just grabbing a random photo of the person I’m trying to impersonate off the internet is another question entirely. But I was like, Fine, whatever, I don’t feel like fighting with you, Facebook, so I gave up on having a pseudonym page.
And then I started thinking: Why did I still have a Facebook? I never go on Facebook. All the stuff had happened with the election, so it wasn’t like people would freak out anymore if I deleted it, they’d totally get it. And I kind of no longer wanted to give Facebook bragging rights about how many users it has by counting me when I don’t actually use it. And Zuckerberg’s attitude seemed to be that if you didn’t like Facebook, you shouldn’t use Facebook. I COMPLETELY disagree with this sentiment on his part because I think it completely ignores how many people can’t opt out of Facebook at this point, but luckily, I can opt out of Facebook.
...Or so I thought.
Except that I requested deletion of my Facebook, and they confirmed deletion and said I was scheduled for deletion within two weeks, and then...just never deleted my Facebook. Which I only know because they keep sending me emails about me being tagged and people sending me messages (even though I also keep requesting to be unsubscribed from those emails). (And also my friends still on Facebook confirm for me that I’m still on there.) I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to get in touch with Facebook but...you can’t. It’s impossible. Try not being on Facebook and finding ANY contact information for Facebook other than a paper mailing address. If you find the contact info, please let me know!!! They have zero available email addresses, they don’t respond to their Twitter, and the phone number that circulates online is a dangerous scam stealing your social security numbers (which Facebook knows and warns you about but still doesn’t provide you with any way to contact them).
So my anger with Facebook isn’t just about gathering and selling my data, it’s the culmination of years of mistrust and knowing it’s not healthy for me in general and then BEING DENIED MY RIGHT TO DELETE IT AND BEING RENDERED COMPLETELY POWERLESS. Like, the longer this has gone on, and the longer I have realized that there is literally nothing I can do to get Facebook to delete my account, the angrier and angrier I have gotten.
So. That’s Facebook. As for the Alexa, well. You’re right. It sits in my house and is probably recording everything that happens in the house. Which is...basically nothing. I’m only home a few waking hours a day because I work full-time. I travel most weekends, so I’m not there on the weekends. I live alone, so I don’t talk much in my house. I have people over maybe two or three times a year, and then I can unplug the Alexa and stick it out in the garage and I feel relatively okay about that???? I might be kidding myself there, but, if worse comes to worst, I can throw the Alexa out entirely, and I think I’m okay. So I feel mostly in control of Alexa and its eavesdropping on me.
I worry more about the fact that I’m supporting Amazon in the first place, since I disagree with most of Amazon’s policies. I feel really guilty about that and do want to extract myself from the Amazon dependency I developed. My only shopping option in my town was Wal-Mart, and at the time when I moved there a few years ago I thought it was better to support Amazon than Wal-Mart. Now I’m not so sure about that (although I guess the lesson I’ve been learning is that there is no company I really want to give my money to).
I also worry more about the fact that I have a smartphone than an Alexa. I was very, very late to adopt a smartphone--years and years after everyone else had them--because I was very wary of them. I’m used to them now, but I don’t like how much information the smartphone has on me. I’ve given up a little bit, because I just...did. But the information the Alexa has is tiny compared to how much my phone has. And we all know that we have our suspicions that the phones are listening to us the whole time. And I *do* talk on the phone. I don’t talk much in my house, but my phone is the device I use to talk on (I talk a lot while walking around the neighborhood, waiting between classes at work, etc.). So the phone is getting every conversation I have, not the Alexa.
All that said: I don’t know that I can completely disconnect now. I shouldn’t have a smartphone, or a Twitter, or a Tumblr, but I decided that at a certain point what I’m really going to strive to do is be conscious about this technology and work to shape it in better ways. Is this naive and idealistic of me? Yes. Undoubtedly. I have nothing I can say to defend myself on that point. I absolutely should just unplug...but that’s difficult to do, and I do feel like (as the EU is trying here) there are ways to make this technology less dangerous.
Anyway. That’s my thought process. I think we all make the decisions we feel fit what we’ve considered. I don’t care much for Facebook, so it’s easy for me to disconnect (well, it would be if Facebook would let me, which is part of my major Facebook problem). I find Alexa useful and because I don’t do much around it and it’s connected to less stuff than my cell phone to begin with, it doesn’t bother me as much, and I feel like I can change my mind and get rid of it fairly easily. Of course, I could be wrong about that. I always thought I could delete my Facebook at any time, too.
Everyone might get done reading this and think, Wow, EGT is an absurd human being who makes zero sense. That is a completely true statement.
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Both sites: BlackEvyl. (Who needs to be creative XD). And you're welcome! I look forward to read it! (And thank you, good to know I haven't wasted all those years of learning. XD But still, writing actual stories is quite different than just talking with someone ;.; I'm not sure my writing style works well with different language, at least when I try to write in that language from 0... I guess I'll just end up translating it or something. Once I publish anything, that is). Thank you again! : D
Thanks again to @blackevyl for the cool idea on this post https://kalluralove.tumblr.com/post/173329099840/i-imagine-that-at-some-point-keith-would-actually
It’s short but sweet and I hope I did your idea justice!
IN HIS DEFENSE
The late-night knock on the door startled Allura. She was just now ready to call it a night but had assumed that the tired members of the Voltron team would have long been asleep. It was their first mission since Keith had resumed flying the Black lion and once again the bickering between the paladins meant things didn’t go as smoothly as they should have. The others still resented Keith’s long absence with the Blade of Marmora, making them slow to warm to his leadership.
She opened the door to see a haggard Keith.
“Please, come in. Have a seat,” the Princess insisted, motioning to a couch in the sitting area of her bedroom.
“I’m not going to stay long, I just needed to give you something,” the young pilot replied as his body swayed slightly.
Realizing he was unsteady on his feet, Allura decided to take a different tack to get him to rest. “I’m too tired to stand another second,” she complained, “and Coran will understand you being in my room if it’s related to Voltron affairs.”
She noted that Keith blushed a little and shifted uncomfortably at the word. Allura made a mental note to ask Pidge later if it had a different meaning on Earth. The fact that he chose to sit on the far end of the sofa, well away from where she sat, indicated it likely did.
“So, what brings you here at this hour?” she asked, quirking her eyebrow to show that she was curious, not annoyed.
The Captain looked down at his hands as he contorted his fingers in and out of a fist. “I wanted you to take care of something for me.”
Now the Princess was genuinely concerned. Could he be planning to leave again? Did Lance’s constant badgering force him to give up already? In her mind she began to formulate any number of arguments against such a distasteful idea. If he planned to leave she would not let him go easily this time.
Her thoughts distracted her so much she missed him pulling his Marmoran blade from its sheath. He didn’t seem to notice that she wasn’t looking, either; the glimmer of the light bouncing off metal was what brought her back to reality.
“I want you to keep this for me,” he continued. To her ears he sounded conflicted by the offering.
As he extended the hilt towards her she saw that his hand was trembling slightly. It was understandable, seeing that it was a family heirloom and his go-to weapon.
In fact, that’s what had begun the tension with the team to start. Hunk pointed out that he was using it instead of his bayard, questioning Keith’s determination to stay with the Voltron force instead of migrating back to the Blades. None of the others seemed to notice the hurt in his eyes at the accusation. Allura stepped in to remind the others that their leader had returned because he wanted to, not because he was forced. They quieted down a bit after that, but the glares they shot at him seemed to land like bullets. It had been a while since she saw Keith flinch around them.
“Why do you want to give this to me?” She held her breath for what seemed like forever while he worked up a response he was satisfied with.
Finally his eyes were able to meet hers as he spoke. “I need you to trust me,” he sighed. “I need you to know that I’m all in.”
Allura reached over to place her hand over his, slowly pulling the knife from him. She cradled the cold blade in her other hand, marvelling over the fine craftsmanship.
That he worried so much over something that didn’t particularly bother her left a pain in her chest as tears began to well up. While she didn’t want to push Keith out of the room too quickly, she wasn’t sure how long she could hold them back.
“I…I can’t accept this,” she responded, turning her head slightly toward the shadows. She hastily dropped the knife on the table in front of them. “You don’t owe me anything. I’ve done nothing to deserve your loyalty. And yet you’ve come back to me– I mean the team– time and time again.”
At this she stood quickly, intending to usher Keith to the door. Instead his voice stopped her suddenly.
“I’ll always come back to you,” was all he said, and that was all it took.
The dam burst and Allura began to weep. She knew he probably meant “you” in a plural sense, yet she wanted it to be directed at her exclusively. Regret for every time she had asked him “please come back to us” instead of “please come back to me” washed over her.
The Princess realized things had gotten even more awkward and expected Keith to rush out of the room. Instead he gently pulled her by the wrist back onto the sofa, this time much closer to him. His hands grasped hers, his thumbs rubbing her fingers in an attempt to calm her. Allura attempted a smile to assure him that she would be okay, although she imagined it looked more pained than comforted.
“Let me do this. Let me prove myself to you and to the others,” he continued. “I need to be sure the team works together. I need to be sure everyone comes back safely… especially you.”
Allura almost didn’t hear the last part as his voice dropped to a whisper.
Keith felt the sweat on his back shift directions as he maneuvered to avoid the sword swinging wildly at his head. Few Galra carried such weapons so the Black Paladin was caught off guard when the first hit landed on his shoulder. He was glad to be back in his armor since it provided somewhat better protection than his Marmora suit, but it did stick out amongst the dark shadows of the destroyer he had boarded. The grey-clad soldier he was fighting had the advantage here.
Suddenly the crack of a whip sounded from his left; its electrified barbs latched onto their target before bringing the convulsing body to the ground before him. Keith smiled when he saw Allura approach, although he quickly ducked his head to hide it lest the other paladins be nearby.
“Thanks, that was a tough one,” he offered quietly, fighting every urge in his body to run over and hug the Princess.
“I’m just glad I got here in time. You never used to struggle like that,” she noted, her voice filled with concern.
Keith returned the bayard to its original form and put it away. He was annoyed that after several weeks he still didn’t feel right wielding it. It felt clumsy compared to his blade, but he would simply have to learn to use it again.
“Just a bit off today, no big deal,” he replied, offering a quick thumbs-up to reiterate his statement.
Allura stepped in front of him, forcing him to look at her. He could tell she wasn’t convinced by the set of her jaw and the furrow of her brow.
“You say that every time,” she countered angrily. “You’re going to get yourself killed like this.”
“Get himself killed like what?” Pidge stepped through the doorway and looked at the two of them. “What’d he do this time?”
Soon Lance appeared behind her and propped himself against the doorframe, his arms crossed as he studied the scene. “I’m guessing he did something stupid like using his head as a battering ram.”
“Maybe he tried to blow something up without thinking,” chimed Hunk, who had been skulking in the hallway.
“Enough!” shouted Allura, startling everyone into silence.
Keith instinctively took a step backwards towards the darkened corner of the room. The Princess rarely shouted at the paladins and he desperately hoped an argument wouldn’t begin. Certainly not one that centered around him.
Allura looked back at Keith, then took a deep breath before pulling the Marmora blade from her armor. The others looked confused as to why she was holding it, but none dared question her. The Black paladin’s eyes met hers and they never wavered, even as she approached him.
She reached for his hand and pulled it towards her, palm up. “It’s time I returned this to its rightful owner,” she conceded, placing the knife in his palm.
The Captain was taken aback, unsure how to respond. He’d given this to her as a sign of his faithfulness to her as well as to the cause. Had he done something make her question his loyalty? His body began to tremble and his throat tightened so that he could barely breathe.
“Princess, whatever I did I’m sorry,” he muttered, not wanting to engage the others in their personal conversation. “I’ll make it right, I’ll-”
Allura didn’t allow him to finish. She leaned in to give him a chaste kiss on the lips before stepping back to offer him a genuine smile. It wasn’t their first kiss– far from it– which was much more passionate on the night he gave her the knife, but it sent shivers down his spine nonetheless.
“What the quiznak?!” echoed a chorus of voices from behind Allura. Keith had momentarily forgotten they were watching the entire transaction.
“Anything you’d like to share with the rest of us?” demanded Lance, slinking closer to the couple.
“As a matter of fact, there is,” Allura retorted. “Keith is the leader of Voltron. He’s also a member of the Blade. The fact that he’s here with us now stands as proof of his loyalty to the team. His actions in the past reflect his fidelity to the cause. He has earned his place as the leader of Voltron and you will respect that.”
The rest of the team stood silent, mouths agape– even Keith. It wasn’t that he had never heard those words from her, just that she’d never uttered them in front of the others. If he were being honest he’d have to say that he fell in love with her all over again at that moment. Still, he didn’t understand the reason she was giving his blade back to him.
“Keith,” she started, as if answering his unasked question. “Someday you will give this back to me, and if the fates allow to our child. But you need to survive for that to happen, so keep it as long as you are a soldier. You can’t come back to me if you can’t defend yourself.”
Allura spoke in a hushed tone so that the others couldn’t hear, but Keith understood every word.
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