#also i started drawing noses since i started bsd | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ssamie · 3 years

Text

five. “team manager”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x haikyuu)

tw: mentions of suicide

masterlist. suicide freak!

"this is the girl from yesterday" kuroo muttered

it's been a day since the shrooms incident, and it's safe to say she's left a very weird first impression on the boys

"hi~" she cooed with a wave

today, she was looking more presentable. wearing the nekoma girl's uniform, with bandages framing her body, all except for her hands and face. "i couldn't shake her off" kenma said with a sigh as he tried to wiggle his arm free from her grasp

she simply chuckled and hugged his arm even tighter. "sorry for the rather strange interaction we had yesterday" she apologised with a sheepish grin "there was a small flaw in my plan, which led to that.."

kenma rolled his eyes at her words. he was the one that had to make sure she didn't accidentally jump off a cliff in her state yesterday. he had to get her calmed down, and ended up calling a man called kunikida for help since he was in her emergency contacts.

"what's your name?" kuroo asks with an amused grin

"l/n y/n. nice to meet ya" she answered

"so l/n-chan~" kuroo mused "anything we can help you with?"

"i wanna be team manager!" she exclaimed with a dumb smile on her face

some boys perked up at the mention of a manager, some pondered over it, while kenma simply let out a loud groan.

"hah? you? manager?" kenma scoffed and pulled out his PSP "you'll just try to kill yourself with the nets or something" he muttered with a huff

"eh? do you really have no trust in me kenma?" she sulked "i mean, i probably would but still!" she huffed

nekomata stepped forward and smiled at her "why would you like to be our manager, l/n?" he asked. she blinked and pondered over it for a while "hmm, volleyball is something i wanna try i guess." she said

"but i don't really wanna play. i'd rather manage from the sidelines" she hummed "so it would be a pleasure to work with you all" she said with a sly smile

she then looked at nekomata and tilted her head to the side, sending him a close eyed smile and holding her hand out for him to shake.

"if you'll have me, of course" she added in a polite and soothing tone

nekomata studied her, then her hand, as well as the bandages that ended just a little bit past her wrist. the old man chuckled and shook her hand. "well then, welcome to the team" he said with a laugh

she smirked and nodded. "glad to be here"

"have i ever told you how incredibly intricate looking your fingers are?" she asked out of the blue. kenma glanced at her as he drinks from his bottle, brows furrowing from her rather strange observation.

"um, no?" he answered hesitantly

she simply hummed and studied them even further, making him gulp. kenma looked at his hands, feeling slightly anxious. he then shoved them in the side of his shorts.

"stop looking at them. it makes me nervous" kenma complained sheepishly

she chuckled and pulled his hands out of his makeshift pockets. "dont be" she cooed with a smile "you hands are so.. delicate, so soft"

kenma blushed as she started tracing circles over his palms, whispering sweet words and nothings as she does so.

"so.." she trailed off, looking at him through lidded eyes, a flirty smirk etching itself on her lips. "s-so..?" he questioned

"would you strangle me with these fragile, delicate fingers?"

"ha? 😃"

kenma stared at her while she stared back. she simply smiled at him as she continued to draw shapes on his palm. "what the hell are you talking about?" kenma deadpanned

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS!!" taketora shrieked. they all looked over to him as kenma raised a brow "can't take what?" he asked

taketora ignored him and sprinted straight to y/n "l-l/n-chan! why him?!" he shrieked "why not me?! i can give you my love!" taketora cried "let me love you!"

she simply stared at him as she drops kenma's hands on his lap. "love..me?" she questioned with a blank smile

taketora rushed over to her and showed her his hands "i have hands and fingers too!" he exclaimed "i can-"

"i don't think she meant she wants kenma to choke her during sex, yamamoto" kuroo intervened

"yeah. she wants me to kill her." kenma bluntly spat out

"hai!" she exclaimed "but either one is fine."

kenma's brows shot up as he snapped his attention towards her. "huh??"

"hm? is there a problem, kenma-kun?" she chuckled “yes. there's a problem, and it's a big one." kenma said "im not gonna choke you during se-"

"l/n!" nekomata called out, effectively cutting off kenma

the (h/c) haired girl perked up and walked over to the man "yes?" she asked "so? did you jot down anything while watching?" nekomata asked. the older man patted the spot next to him on the bench, urging her to sit next to him. she hummed and pulled out a notebook.

"well, may i just say" she started "these boys are very impressive."

"i don't usually have the motivation to do these type of things but i wrote down everything i've observed" she said "i do hope it's enough" she chuckled as she sat down next to nekomata

"well then, let's see it" nekomata said as he ushered the boys over to them. "well then, these are my observations, as well as teeny tiny little advices" she says

she handed kuroo the notebook. the captain skimmed through the pages with a look of interest. "okay let's- eh?" kuroo sweat dropped "this is never-ending, l/n-chan" he chuckled

kuroo flipped through the whole notebook, laughing as he saw each page filled from front to back. "that's a crap ton of info!" taketora exclaimed

"how'd you even get all of that over a silly practice game" yaku asked, a look of amusement and curiosity lacing his features.

she shrugged nonchalantly and fiddled with her hair "dunno" she cooed "i guess it comes naturally" she said "i have a job quite similar, so breaking down your attacks and the way you move or play is quite easy"

nekomata hummed in delight "ah, so we're you a manger before as well, or..?" he asked

"nope! i'm a detective!" she grinned

the team stared at her and smiled, same as you would when a child says something crazy or stupid. she immediately snapped her head towards kenma, smiling excitedly as she awaits his reaction

"are you impressed? will you go on a double suicide with me now?" she asked with a grin. kenma stared at her, unmoving, as he looked her up and down.

"no." he answered

she immediately deflated and sulked beside nekomata. "i-i see." she sniffled "i understand"

"that's nice, l/n-chan!" yaku exclaimed, obviously unconvinced that she was a detective "really nice. it's good to have dreams!" he said as he patted the girl's back

she blinked as she looked down on him. "eh? no, i mean like im actually a detective"

"i mean i get that you don't think so" she laughed "i may not look much, but im an operative of the armed detective agency" she said. her playful smile dropped, and was replaced by a stoic look as she showed them a badge

"eh? seriously?! that's so cool!" lev says as he excitedly jumps up and down

"heh. right?" she grinned as the other boys starts freaking out

kenma simply narrows his eyes and clicks his tounge in distaste. "so what about it, kenma-kun? won't it be cool to die with someone like that?" she asks cheekily

"no"

"but-"

"no"

"fine"

"no- oh."

"you'll fit right in, l/n" nekomata said with a laugh. he waved then goodbye before stepping away. kuroo approached them, fanning himself with the notebook as he slung his arm around her shoulders

"so, l/n.." kuroo said "whyre you so obsessed with having a double suicide with our kenma?" he asked. kenma sighed and pitched his nose bridge with dread "please don't ask that. she'll-"

"oh my! i thought you'd never ask!" she said dramatically as she waved her arms about

"committing suicide alone?" she started "oh my, that's so passe kuroo-san!"

"i've come to realise, that if i were to die.. i will die alongside a beautiful man or woman!" her eyes sparkled as she gawked over kenma, who was looking very unamused at the moment.

"and i found the most beautiful boy there is! what else could be better than this?" she exclaimed with teary eyes

"ah, double suicide.. what a sweet ring it has!" she exclaimed "in comparison, it feels so empty to bid this world farewell all by my lonesome self!" she hugged kenma and nuzzled her cheek into his pudding-like hair.

kenma merely froze as he felt his arms and body get squeezed by her. she was surprisingly strong and had a vice grip on him. "please let me go." kenma muttered

"no"

the boys watched the whole withing with varying reactions. most of them were worried for her mental state and well-being, while the others were amused. the 'others', being lev. it still kinda hadn't hit him that she was a suicidal psycho.

"hmm, you're right, l/n-senpai! it'll be sad to die alone" lev agreed with a thoughtful hum

"see! he sees the problem with it!" she said

yaku immediately intervened by kicking lev in the back of his knees, making him fall forward. he also snatched kenma away, making her whine. "give him back!" she yelled. “take me away" kenma said

yaku huffed and lightly flicked her in the forehead. "the real problem here is the fact that you wanna commit suicide!" he exclaimed

"double suicide" she corrected.

"that's not any better!"

84 notes · View notes

fairy-writes · 2 years

Note

can i please have a bsd matchup? im asexual, bisexual, demiboy (he/they) and polyamorus (i wouldn’t mind having multiple partners)

i dont mind gender but i have a male preference :)

i usually get around three different mbtis when taking tests; istp, intp, enfp. also if you need im a taurus sun / moon aries / rising cancer

when I’m around people I’m comfortable with I’m very talkative and joking, but when I’m with people i don’t like or agree with I’m cold and snappy. in academics i usually go for the bare minimum bc i don’t want to talk to my teachers. im observant and can tell some people’s emotions by their body language. i can sometimes get anxious around people who are popular or are mature,

i have about chin length fluffy brown hair (it kinda looks like inuis when brushed w a comb) i have brown eyes and small freckles on my nose :), i have a few pimples, i like wearing eyeliner and im 160cm tall, my aesthetic is kinda indie, crystal kid and art kid mixed.

i really enjoy painting and drawing, (i have a drawing infront of me rn), i enjoy writing about my feelings since i don’t have to worry about hurting someone’s feelings, i recently started playing games like genshin and cookie run :), habits i have would probably be like; going to sleep way to late but still waking put early, leaving my room messy until it bothers me enough to clean, sometimes i have troubles eating (im a picky eater).

i look for a s/o that i can trust, and one that i can predict and read bc it makes me really anxious to not know what someone’s reaction will be, i also want a partner that will not need complements at all times or cannot think for themselves.

Hello lovely! I hope you like your matchup! I’m so sorry this took so long!

I pair you with… Kunikida Doppo!

Kunikida is very easy to read and predict. He also doesn’t need to be babied with compliments all the time, so it’s a win-win for you! He’s very strict with how he runs things, and it helps rub off on you. He helps clean your room and helps encourage you to try new foods.

Kunikida helps tutor you in academics (he’s especially good at math since he used to be a math professor twice a week) and helps you get amazing grades because he’s a lot easier to talk to than your professors! He’s also pretty observant himself, so a common date between you two is to go people-watching. You like to try and guess things about others’ lives when sitting at a cafe or in a park.

He is pretty mature but being around you helps him loosen up and be more goofy, so he shouldn’t make you anxious! He’s also quite a bit taller than you at 189 cm (that’s a full 12 inches of difference, according to google!)

Kunikida is more of a reading guy, but he likes to sit with you while you paint and draw! Overall he’s a very sturdy and confident partner who brings out the best in you!

#fairytailwzard matchup #fairytailwzard matchups #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #kunikida doppo #doppo kunikida #bsd #bsd kunikida #bungou stray dogs kunikida

7 notes · View notes