#also i love your ‘tis i’ tag for personal posts it’s cute!
Text
Pretty When You Cry
Synopsis: Everything seemed to go so well for you and your best friend, Chifuyu, until you discovered your feelings for him...
C/W: Angst, no comfort, friendship breakup, mentions of gang fights and wounds, mentions of death (no one dies tho), imagery from Greek mythology if you squint, messy as hell, reader is emotionally unavailable and doesn't know how to deal with their feelings, Chifuyu deserves better :/
W/C: 4k + words
A/N: Welp, off to a good start in the new year. As previously mentioned in a post, this fic took me a good while to finish. This fic is basically me reflecting on a situation that occured many, many years ago. I was so foolish to destroy something great in favor of keeping my heart safe, but today I'm old enough to know that love is a complicated thing, even if it's just platonic. Tagging luvs @avatarofstars @kokonoiscoconut @nanamikentoseyebags (look, this is the fic I rambled to you months ago!)
Glossary:
Moira = Also known as the fates; Greek goddesses of fate
Atropos = Greek for “unalterable”/ “inflexible”: one of the three Moira; the goddess that cuts the thread (symbolizes life), making her the one that decides ones inevitable fate
Love is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Stalking its prey and disguising itself as an innocent feeling of adoration, it lulls you into a false sense of security. It’s a soft voice in your head that gently whispers to you, advising, begging, demanding you to lower the walls you’ve built around your heart.
“It’s ok” It’ll whisper to you in an encouraging voice “It’s ok to lower your guard. It’s ok to feel vulnerable. It’s only human that you want to love and be loved”
You were 15 years old when you caved, and you caved for none other than Chifuyu Matsuno.
You wouldn’t have looked twice his way if the circumstances were different.To you he was a troublemaker, someone you’d forget about after graduating highschool. But just like in a classical Greek drama, the Moira already sealed your fate, dooming you to fall right into Chifuyus warm embrace. At the darkest time of your life, he was the sole candle that illuminated the night of your melancholy. His light helped you navigate and keep the demons of the night away. In a way, Chifuyu was your personal safe haven.
Befriending Chifuyu felt like finally putting the last piece into the puzzle. But no matter how strong a bond is, if the Gods demand the ties to be severed, so it be…
Your lungs burned from the lack of oxygen. Not being used to running this much, your legs began hurting as you stormed through the familiar streets. You ignored the voice calling not too far behind you, begging you to stop, to return to him, to talk to him goddamnit. You ignored the pain that shoots through your legs with every step you take and his desperate cries. Your heart thudded against your ribcage as you finally arrived at your destination: Your home, your fortress. You shakily searched for the keys of your home, taking them out of your pocket. Thank God, you found your keys just in time. You swiftly opened the door and entered, not looking back as you slammed the door a bit too loudly behind you. Once you entered your home, you slumped down right before the door, not even bothering to turn on the lights. With trembling hands you brought your knees closer to yourself. Engulfed in the darkness of your home, you were left alone with the memories of Chifuyu Matsuno, the man that the fates have tied you to.
Memories of golden days rushed through your brain. Memories of sitting next to Chifuyu in a cute cafe near your university. You and him have been friends for a while now, not imagining what life would be without the other.
“Look what I’ve found at the bookstore” Chifuyu mused excitedly, “It’s a manga I used to read back in highschool!”
You playfully rolled your eyes at your best friend “Wow, and here I thought you would start reading real literature” You giggled before taking a sip of your coffee.
“This is real literature! Ai Yazawa knows how to write compelling, and most importantly, real characters. Take this manga for instance-” He scooted closer to you, taking the manga out of his backpack before opening it. Being so close to him, smelling his fresh cologne that he recently started to use, and seeing the excited glint in his eyes as he got ready to rave about the manga, made you feel at ease. Without knowing it, Chifuyu would always calm your nerves.
You took a look at the opened manga on the table. Inside you saw beautifully drawn panels. As you took a closer look, you noted that the characters have been drawn very detailed. You especially took note of the extravagant jewelry.
“This manga -” Chifuyu pointed at a panel of two women sitting on what appeared to be a dining table.
“- covers so many serious topics. It covers romance, breakups, loss, grief, loneliness, and much much more!” he sighs “Listen, I know you might think this is silly, but I really want to reread this manga series with you because I feel like you could relate with the characters.”
Humming, you gently took the manga from Chifuyus light grip, your hand lightly brushing against his. You inspected the manga closer, flipping through the pages and skimming through the speech bubbles sporadically before closing it. Upon closing the manga, you teasingly side-eyed your best friend.
“‘Nana’? Really?” You chuckled as you handed the manga back to him.
“I heard of this manga. Man, I wouldn’t have thought that you’d be into that” sighing, you continued your teasing remarks. “Who would have thought?Just when I thought I knew everything about you, I’m learning something new”
Chifuyu flushed at your taunts. He took the manga back and brought it close to his chest.
“I know, I know. Who would have thought that a feared gangster would be into that stuff”
“Feared? You’re Chifuyu Matsuno, not Sano Manjirou”
Throwing a glare at you, you knew this was Chifuyus way of asking you to shut up. You chuckled at Chifuyus blushing angry face. Adorable, you thought to yourself as you took another sip from your coffee.
“I’m just joking. If ‘Nana’ is so important to you, I’m willing to give it a shot” You grinned at him “But we need to find the Saturn shaped earrings. I don’t know much about the plot, but I can tell these characters got style”
Bittersweet memories of you and Chifuyu sitting side by side in silence reading his favorite manga shot through your head. You’d discuss the themes with him, but most importantly, the jewelry of the manga. As it turned out the Saturn shaped earrings were made by the real life designer brand Vivienne Westwood, and staying true to your words, you dragged Chifuyu to a department store that sells Vivienne Westwwod pieces.
You remember entering the department store and being met with the smell of expensive perfumes and the bright colors of designer bags. As you walked further and further into the store, mesmerized by the sheer luxury money could buy, you finally spotted the familiar logo that you’ve been looking for. You grabbed Chifuyus arm and began moving closer to the Vivienne Westwood stand, excitedly pointing at it.
“Fuyu, look! We found it!”
You remember him chuckling at you, you remember the way his eyes sparkled in amusement. But more importantly, you remember forgetting for a second about the earrings upon gazing into his eyes. A wave of emotions so sweet rolled over you, you swore you were drowning in honey. Or perhaps you were drowning in the oceans of his eyes? Brilliant turquoise pools that seemed to drag you deeper and deeper into them, and for the first time in your life, drowning didn’t seem so scary anymore.
Either way, Chifuyu managed to take your breath away that day.
Your hand felt heavy as you mustered up all the strength to lift it to your ear. The metal saturn in your lobe, the earring you and Chifuyu got, felt so cold against your fingertips as the memories kept on replaying.
As it turned out, the earrings were way above your budget. Staring at the rhinestone encrusted studs, your mind began to crank the numbers.
“If I save up, I might get these earrings… in about three months”, you muttered under your breath mindlessly, eyes still focused on the price tag of the earrings you wanted to wear for so long.
You remember Chifuyu Chifuyu placing his hand on your shoulder and smiling warmly at you.
“You know, I always wanted us to have a friendship bracelet…” He trailed off, looking at you expectantly. The gleam in his eyes tells you that Chifuyu is trying to say something, hinting at something that you should understand.
“Yeah? What does that have to do with the earrings?” You bluntly stated, oblivious to his effort to get you to understand what he was trying to say.
“Dummy, you should stop hanging out with Baji-san. His stupidity is rubbing off on you” Chifuyu teased.
“Hey! Now that is insulting, you know? I’m way smarter than he is” You rolled your eyes at your best friend, feeling irked at being lumped into the same category as your dumbass friend, Baji. You were about to bark back an insult about his stupidly round face, or his dumb, edgy hair from middle school, literally anything, just to shut him up. However, knowing how you get defensive, Chifuyu cut you off, not letting you insult him.
“What I was trying to say was, we could also have friendship earrings. You pay for one earring, and I for the other.”
You were left speechless. Chifuyu’s words hit you like a brick, the meaning behind them slowly sinking in. He would pay half the price for the earrings that you wanted so desperately…
The sweet gesture makes you feel fuzzy deep inside. He knew how much you wanted the earrings, so he wanted to make sure you got at least one earring. So thoughtful of him, he cares for his friends a lot… Warmth spread across your body, as you met Chifuyu’s seafoam eyes gazing softly at you. You could make out his trademark smile and a pink hue grazing his face. For the first time, Chifuyu looked different to you.
Side eying the price tag, you were brought back to reality. These earrings were still expensive, even if Chifuyu paid half the price. You didn’t want him to spend his money on you, especially on jewelry.
“You don’t have to-”
“I insist. Besides it’s not like you’re getting the earrings to yourself. We’ll share”
“Still, I would like to-”
“Listen” , Chifuyu cut you off mid sentence once again.
“I will get you the earrings one way or another. If we walk out without the earrings today, I will come back and get the earrings another time. I know how much you want them, so please, let me at least help you out”
Your stomach churned, Chifuyu’s words hitting you right in your heart. Trying to be annoyed at him turned out to be futile, his stubbornness and insistence on getting the earrings made you feel appreciated. You meant a lot to him, and Chifuyu would go out of his way to prove to you that you are dear to him.
You sighed, giving up on all your counterarguments to stop Chifuyu from his plan.
“Fine, but promise me you’ll always wear your earring, ok?”
Chifuyu grinned victoriously at you, his hand reaching to find yours as he softly pulled you towards the counter.
“Of course. I just want to see you happy”
Walking out of the store, you and Chifuyu wore the earrings. You wearing your earring on your right ear, and him wearing his earring on his left ear, you walked through the busy streets of Tokyo in silence. Still unable to comprehend how Chifuyu was able to convince you to have friendship earrings - expensive designer friendship earrings no less - you racked your brain on how you’d thank him. To your surprise, Chifuyu took the initiative.
“The earring suits you a lot. I’m glad I can share this experience with you”
“Gosh Chifuyu, ever the charmer” You teased back, trying to play it cool. He didn’t need to know that his loving words were your kryptonite.
“Oh, I know I’m charming” Chifuyu chuckles as he stops and attempts to tuck your hair behind your ear to look at the earring.
“But I mean it. The earring suits you a lot; you bring out its beauty” Chifuyu gazed into your eyes “I love that we share the pair, you know? Now everyone will know that we are two halves of one whole”
You rolled your eyes at him, your heart beating faster and heat spreading across your face as you heard the latter part.
“You are such a sap, Fuyu. This is why Kazutora and Baji make fun of you”
“Hey!”
Chifuyu took his promise seriously; he never took off his earring. He knew how important it was for you to see the shining silver metal on him, and wearing the earring meant to him to commit to you and your friendship.
Sitting on the cold floor of your apartment, you remembered how your friendship turned into something different, into something that scared you.
As time went on, the boundaries between friendship and romance seemed to blur, and your feelings for your supposed best friend seemed to get more confusing. You found yourself daydreaming about the blonde man, worrying about his well-being and wondering who he's hanging out with when he wasn’t with you. Was he with Baji? The gang? With someone else? Someone prettier?
You’d have to snap yourself out of your thoughts on numerous occasions. What was going on with you? Why the hell did you think about Chifuyu possibly going out on dates, and why did it break your heart?
One particular event seemed to open your eyes to what you felt towards Chifuyu, your best friend.
Worry filled you as the nth text went unanswered. A wave of dread washed over you as the alarms went off in your head after remembering that Chifuyu was supposed to be in one of the shadiest parts of Tokyo, bashing some punk's head. Or getting his head bashed by some punk…
Remembering the way you were practically on your knees, your hands clasped together as you prayed to any God and entity that came to your mind, was bittersweet to you. God, you loved him more than you respect yourself. And you still do.
You remembered that the only thing that was able to stop your uncontrollable sobbing was the familiar sound of your doorbell ringing. Chifuyu…
It was truly remarkable how you were able to sense the person behind your front door was none other than your best friend. One moment, you were a sobbing mess on the floor, and the next, you were a sobbing mess at the door. You remember throwing yourself into the arms of a barely standing Chifuyu, almost knocking him off his feet. Tears soaked his already dirty gang uniform, but neither of you cared. All that mattered to you was that he was in your arms in one piece, alive and breathing.
Chifuyu held you tight. Seemingly having forgotten about his own painful bruises, he softly stroked your tear stricken cheek, cooing reassuringly to you as you felt his warm embrace engulf you.
“It’s fine” Chifuyu would whisper “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere” He knew you so well. He knew you would worry after not responding to any calls or messages, too busy to fight alongside his friends to pick up his phone, so Chifuyu mustered up the little energy he had left and limped to your home. As realization hit you, you couldn’t help but feel your heart flutter. You still shook in his arms, tears still falling down your eyes, but for a different reason.
You couldn’t deny it any longer: You were hopelessly in love with Chifuyu, and that fact alone made you unable to sleep. The memories still fresh in your mind of you rolling around in your bed, trying to find fault in the blonde man. You didn’t want to love him as much as you did, so trying to fall out of love seemed like a viable option. You thought hard of his stupid face when he read his favorite manga. But he looks so cute. His crazy devotion to his friends, he would do the most reckless things just to help. But he is so loyal and loving. You thought about his lame jokes, which you still laughed about because how could you not? No matter the way you looked at him, Chifuyu seemed beyond perfect, too good, in your eyes. With a defeated sigh, you gave up trying to find anything wrong with Chifuyu. There wasn’t anything wrong with him.
As time went on, the feelings you’ve been fighting so hard wouldn’t leave. Like a wolf stalking its prey, it was always a step right behind you, breathing right into your neck as it waited to swallow you whole. You feared loving Chifuyu, but you feared not loving Chifuyu as well.
So you withdrew from Chifuyu. Despite the stabbing pain you felt inside your heart as whenever you saw the disappointed and saddened face from the blonde whenever you’d decline hanging out with him, you knew that you had to stay away from him. Maybe the feelings would fade away on their own? You kept trying to tell yourself that loving Chifuyu wasn’t an option. It was either get your feelings under control or never see Chifuyu again. Guilty thoughts spread in your mind and followed you to your sleep, making you unable to rest. How could you ever think about leaving Chifuyu like that?
But oh, the Gods above must be laughing at the spectacle, wheezing as your mind was clouded by the fear of committing. At last, overwhelmed by the dread and lack of sleep, no clear thought was formed as you confronted Chifuyu one last time, to cut the string that connected you two. Everything was a blur, you could barely remember the exact words you uttered to your now ex best friend, but one thing you could never forget, and that was his face. You remember clearly his eyes shooting wide as your words sunk in, his eyebrows knitting together. Chifuyu opened his mouth, to ask you, no, to beg you to stay, but you were unable to look him in the eye with a clear conscience. So you ran to your home.
A loud bang behind you brought you back to reality. Of course Chifuyu wouldn’t just accept defeat. He’d do anything to get you back.
“Please, let’s just talk it out!” Chifuyu demanded behind your door, the banging on the door not faltering. He’s going to hurt himself, you thought, wanting to open the door, and bandage his throbbing hands. In another life, you’d profusely apologize for even thinking about abandoning Chifuyu. In another life, you’d have the courage to face the hungry wolf and allow it to consume you; you’d embrace the beast that was love and come to the understanding that love’s bite isn’t as painful as you originally thought. In another life, you’d give love a chance. But fate is anything but nice, and now you have to suffer through the consequences of throwing away your friendship.
You clasped your hand over your mouth, muffling the sobbing to the best of your abilities. Tears streamed down your face, and judging by the shakiness of Chifuyu’s pleas, you weren’t the only one crying.
“I know you’re listening to me, so please, I can’t just let you cut ties with me like that! Talk to me, we can fix whatever is bothering you!”
And God knows the cruelest answer to the begging of a broken hearted man is silence. But how could you respond when your mind is so loud? Every fiber in your body was screaming, demanding you to answer Chifuyu, to ask for forgiveness and pour your hearts out on him, but you couldn’t allow yourself to open the door. So you didn’t answer him, forcing yourself to remain quiet as the man behind your door couldn’t admit defeat just yet.
“Please, we can even pretend this never happened. I just need you to talk to me”, Chifuyus voice trembled, still of the opinion that his words full of agony could reach you. You had to finally end it, so you took a deep breath to calm yourself. Collecting the little energy that you had left, you were sent the final blow that burned the bridges.
“Why can’t you just leave me alone?” your words dripping with poison, you projected the disgust you felt towards yourself onto Chifuyu.
“Can’t you see that I just don’t want to be around you? Things have changed, Chifuyu, so be a fucking adult about it and accept my decision”
And with that, the knocking stopped and Chifuyu remained quiet. You held your own breath as you felt regret wash over you. You said way too much. Your words so mean and hateful, words you didn’t even mean, have effectively broken Chifuyu’s will and heart. The silence became so overbearing that you assumed he might have left already, until you heard his voice right behind your door.
“I’m sorry you had to put up with me. I know that it must have been hard for you to make this decision, but you have every right to end our friendship if it feels wrong to you. I accept and respect it, I really do, although it pains me to let you go like that” Chifuyu stayed silent for a moment, his voice still shaky when he continued “I will always treasure the time that I have spent with you. And despite the way that you’ve decided to end it…. I can’t hate you. Goodbye”
And just like that, Chifuyu left and took a piece of your heart with him. You felt numb, never having anticipated that you’d lose yourself in the process of letting go of Chifuyu. It’s for the better, you tried to tell yourself, but your broken heart knew better. Your attempt at standing up failed, your legs and arms weren’t able to carry you to your bedroom, so you remained seated on the cold floor, your back still pressed against your door. Before you knew it, sleep had taken over you, kidnapping you to a time and place much merrier.
Dreaming of gleaming seafoam eyes contorted in pain as tears rolled down his rosy cheeks, you couldn’t even escape Chifuyu in your sleep, but oh, he still looked so pretty to you. You wanted to reach out to him so desperately, but you just couldn’t move. You didn’t even have the chance to admire him any longer, as a knock on the door awoke you from your slumber. Groaning, you cursed at the person that had woken you up. Grumbling, you managed to stand up with shaky legs. The person behind the door seemed eager, the knocking not seeming to end anytime soon. So, you opened the door to see an empty hallway. Were you imagining things? Have you gone insane at this point? Or did someone play a childish prank on you?
Feeling fed up, you attempted to slam the door shut, however, something was blocking it from closing. You saw a small package from a familiar online retailer and mentally slapped yourself. Of course you’d get whatever you’ve ordered at the worst time possible. Bending down, you stretched your arms to pick up the package, until you spotted something silver on your doormat. All thoughts about the package left your mind as you inspected the shiny object, already dreading what it was.
In your hand, you held a small saturn shaped earring, the perfect twin to the one you were wearing.
“No”, you breathed out, as your suspicions got confirmed. The silver Vivienne Westwood earring Chifuyu wore as a symbol for your friendship. He must have taken it off and placed it on the doormat after I demanded he’d leave… You knew that this was ultimately what you wanted, cutting contact with Chifuyu to fall out of love, but holding the symbol of your friendship in your hand was a special kind of pain.
So you took the earring inside, having forgotten about the package, and went to your bedroom. Heading to grab your jewelry box, you placed the Chifuyu’s earring inside. With a heavy heart, your hands moved to your ear, slowly taking off your own earring and placing it right beside the other one. You knew this was the right thing to do, after all, at least the earrings could be a perfect pair together.
#chifuyu matsuno#chifuyu x reader#chifuyu angst#ghostqueues#chifuyu x reader angst#tokyo revengers chifuyu#tr chifuyu#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo revengers angst#tokyo revengers x reader angst#tr x reader#tr angst#chifuyu matsuno x reader
88 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hiii! I know I’m a bit late but I just wanted to say that I loved your Nuada HCs! Like literally made my heart melt they were so cute! 🩵
Anyway, I was wondering what kinds of activities you think he’d enjoy doing with his s/o. Personally, I see him as being very into nature (especially secluded wilderness uninhabited by humans) but I wanted to hear your thoughts! ⭐️
Do you see him as a dog or cat elf?
Would he be down to spend a lazy day in bed cuddling his partner?
What would he do for his partner during a holiday? :)
Hi! Thank you so much, I appreciate your words a lot 💜 I'm happy that there are many people who want to smooch our elf prince. 🧝 And sorry for the delay on this one!
Now, onto your questions!
Tags: Gender neutral Reader, headcanons, sfw, no warnings!
What kind of activity would Nuada enjoy doing with you?
I agree with you a lot on this one! From what I understood from the film, elves are tied with nature and share a deep connection with it. It would be natural (ha-ha) for him to want to spend time with you there! And of course, the more secluded from humans, the better. It doesn't necessarily have to be super tough hikes (although he would enjoy them and would have no difficulty conquering steep hills or getting lost in thick forests) - he understands that you may not be built for that and takes great pleasure even in taking a calm walk through the woods or a park.
Just imagine him walking next to you (so he can protect you if anything happens), telling you stories of the spirits who live in the wilderness, occasionally touching the bark of ancient oaks and beech trees with reverence while listening to them talk. You would have the privilege of knowing the language of the forest thanks to him. 🌳
Is he a dog or a cat elf?
I'm a bit torn on this one. I think he definitely has a soft spot for all kinds of animals (think of the scene where he slaughters the police officers, but leaves the dogs alive). I believe that he has great respect for all things relating to nature. That said, for the kind of life that he lives, I believe he could enjoy a dog companion that fights with him and accompanies him on his adventures! As for cats, I can see him having a horde of stray cats that live in his nest in the sewers, maybe cuddling up to him while he studies his next move or tinkers with his elvish technology. They just like spending time around him because he has a peaceful presence and spares them treats from time to time. In turn, the cats get rid of the rats, so it's a favorable deal for both parties.
Would he be down to spend a lazy day in bed cuddling his partner?
If he cared about you so much to consider you his partner, I believe there is little he wouldn't do for you! If you're feeling tired, are sick, or simply want to spend time with him away from the chaos of the human world, he would take you to his lair and cuddle you there, keeping you fully to himself. You could also convince him to spend time in your home, teaching him about human technology or entertainment to show him that humans are capable of creating something beautiful, and not just destruction.
What would he do for his partner during a holiday?
I think he would honor elvish tradition and give you gifts or partake in traditional elvish holiday festivities with you! His culture is sacred to him, and nothing would make him happier than sharing that part of him with you. He weaves flower crowns out of rare flowers for you, dances under the stars on summer nights and even has a weapon crafted for you, such as a small knife, in the event he is not there to protect you (although he never lets you out of his sight, if possible).
Of all human holidays, I bet he'd enjoy Halloween the most. Going around scaring humans? The fashion? Seeing you dressed as a mystical creature? He's all for it!
If you liked my writing, it would mean the world to me if you reblogged the post or left a comment. 🥰
#feel freee to add your ideas on this one!!#nuada x reader#prince nuada x reader#nuada x you#prince nuada x you#hellboy 2#hellboy 2 imagines#nuada imagines#nuada imagine#mywriting
109 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Bear & His Honey - Lucky 13
♡ Chapter Inspo: Lyrics; "You are in Love" (Taylors Version) “You understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars, and why I’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words.”
♡ Summary: Carmy is filling in on 'The Jimmy Kimmel Show' for a sick guest that couldn't come, He stumbles in to Winnie's absolute favorite person- and is able to treat her to a night she won't ever forget.
♡ W/C: 24,019
♡ Posted Date: 03/13/2024
♡ A/N: Welcome to Lucky 13! I wanted to give you all a taste of what Carm+Winnie will be at some point. This chapter will have very little angst, & have mostly sickeningly sweet fluffy goodness! This is set at least 1.5 years in the future from the last chapter. This is kinda a “one shot” in a way, in the TB&HH Universe, I have been thinking of this chapter for a while, and it would make my heart sing for Carmy to have a night out with his favorite people & get to relax, and just be in love. Also- in this, Carmy has been attending group weekly, and learning more so how to express his feelings. I’m also excited to show my idea of how Carm would show a big romantic gesture like the one in this chapter, and just overall make himself feel really proud for showing Winnie how much she means to him. Also- alot of things in this chapter (french speaking, JKS interview, etc) will make sense very soon!!! I just- it's too cute not to include hahahah I hope you enjoy this chapter :)) Also, the way while editing (I'm listening to TS obvi) - but genuinely as i'm editing them talking about the different songs- they were COMING ON SHUFFLEEEE!! That woman is a WITCH i tell you
♡ Warnings for BTC: Smut, Swearing - 'tis all
*** Any dialogue that has ( ) after, is translation from French to English!! :) ***
➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡
➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮�� 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡��𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡
If you like this story, please click #TB&HHPoll in the tags, & vote on the questions asked <3
𝒞𝒶𝓇𝓂'𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱.🧸
“Okay-okay baby- ask them!” I plead, Winnie gave me her adorable little frisky grin.
“Ours... vous savez si vous êtes nerveux, ils peuvent le dire, et vous vous sentirez embarrassé après- respirer à treize pour votre Miel, s’il vous, plaît…?” - (Bear... you know if you're nervous, they can tell, and you'll feel embarrassed after- breathe to thirteen for your Honey, please...)
She put her hand on my cheek and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and silently counting to 13, taking a deep breath every odd number I counted in my mind, just like she’d taught me.
“C'est mon bon garçon…Mon sexy homme…” (That’s my good boy…my sexy man…) she said gently as I exhaled.
“Now, like we said, imagine it’s me asking you all these stupid questions, they won’t go off script, Ours (Bear)! Ils ont promise qu’ils ne le feront pas (they promised they wouldn’t).. S’you just have to say the exact same answers we rehearsed the last two weeks, oui?” She cupped my cheeks, stroking my cheekbones gently with her thumbs.
“Oui,” I whisper. “me poser leur première question” (Ask me the first question), I muttered nervously, relishing in the feeling of her cool fingers against my hot cheeks, giving me at least a small sense of relief.
Thankfully - When being asked to be a fill-in guest on The Jimmy Kimmel Show - they'd prepped me- us- with questions they’d be asking, so I wasn’t a blubbering mess on live tv.
“So, Carmen, you are notorious in the kitchen industry, for calling all of your back of-house staff - Chef, as a term of endearment, or- furthermore a term of respect… Now that you’re so widely known at least in the Chicago area- but even more so the greater North America region, as being a very widely appreciated Chef, “ she giggled adorably, looking at me through her lashes before continuing.
“Does everyone that recognizes you on the street, and call you by your title of Chef? Maybe…Executive Chef Carmen? Do they treat you differently?” She asked with a cheeky grin.
I held back the urge to tease and joke with her, clearing my throat and trying to remember the answer we’d come up with together.
“Yes, Chef” I joked, giving her a playful smirk. “I notice when we- er- fuck sorry baby-“ I shook my head, looking at my lap nervously, biting the inside of my lip, squeezing her thigh.
“Ours” (Bear) she said softly, stroking the back of my hand the way that made my heart thump so hard it felt like it’d jump out of my chest, and I look up at her, my eyes bouncing between the freckles on her cheeks, every other thought dissolving like sand through my fingers.
“Allez, Ours, Tu vas y’ arriver.” (C’mon, Bear, You got this) she whispered, squeezing my hand assuringly.
I cleared my throat, newfound confidence due to her belief I could nail this coursing through me.
“My girl and I,” I continued confidently, “ “When we go out, especially in Chicago, or The City, but really any big city- people are more apt to give me a table if I call, So…She calls most of the time- and when we get there…the Exec. usually comes out to greet me after we’re settled, and tell me the meals no charge, but- My girl and I like a true experience, she keeps me honest” I leaned forward, pecking her lips gently and she smiles wide.
“Coeur faible connard” (soft-hearted asshole) she teased gently, mushing her nose with mine sweetly before stealing another kiss.
“Sorry-“ I pulled away teasingly “So…I shouldn’t offer a kiss to the host? Ce serait trop, bien?” (it’d be too much, right?) I joked and she rolled her eyes, grabbing my collar and pulling me back to her lips- kissing me hungrily.
“These lips are mine. Only mine” she mumbles before kissing me again. I smiled into her lips, rubbing my hands down her hips and squeezing the flesh beneath her dress gently.
“Mmm- baby” I pull away gently. “They said 15 minutes 4 minutes ago, I’gotta get mic’d.” I rest my forehead on hers and she cupped my cheeks, planting gentle sweet kisses all over my face.
“Remember” she said between various smooches over my face. “I’ll be in the first row” more kisses “5th seat from the left” kiss, kiss, kiss - “look at me if you get scared ” - kiss, kiss - “I’m with you the whole time.” One final lingering, sweet kiss on my lips. “You’re goin’ out there to kick ass and take names, Bear. Nos âmes sont toujours liées ensemble…” (Remember that our souls are always tied together…)
“Right” I said softly, looking up at her, memorizing each freckle adorning her cheeks for the millionth time. “Bien, Nos âmes sont à jamais liées, Chérie.” (Right, our souls are bound forever, Sweetheart.) I said lovingly, playing with the ends of her auburn curls between my nervous fingers.
She leans in, barely brushing my lips. “What do we say?” She whispers, so close her lips catch mine as she spoke.
“Laisse-le déchirer” (Let it rip) I said softly into her lips before kissing her passionately.
“Oui, Mon Ours. Laisse-le déchirer” (Yes, My Bear, Let it rip.) She said softly when she pulled away, gently running her knuckle over the veins of my neck, the action she only did while utterly exhausted, overly horny, or unable to mess with my hair.
“Je t’aime, mon miel” (I love you, my Honey) I whispered softly into her skin, feeling her gently rub over my back with her nails.
“Fais confiance en ton instincts et lâches-vous, Ours.” (Trust your instincts, and let go, Bear) She said softly into my ear.
I swallow tightly, racking over my brain through all the French she’d taught me- coming up blank, other instincts, and my own name.
“Mon instincts en bon pour votre ours?” (My instincts are good for your Bear?) I questioned softly, kissing her collarbone gently.
She giggles, “Trust your instincts- Fais confiance en ton instincts- And let go- et lâches-vous, Mon Ours.” (My Bear) She kisses my forehead sweetly
I swallowed thickly, nodding a bit and looking up at her through my lashes.
“Je te promets…Je vais suivre mon instincts” (I promise you…I’ll follow my instincts) I mutter into her skin as she gently strokes my cheek, my eyes fluttering shut at the soft touch.
“Je crois en toi, Mon Ours. Je crois en toi.” (I believe in you, My bear, I believe in you.) she whispered, rubbing soothing circles into my back.
“Tu me fais croire en moi, mon miel.” (You make me believe in myself, my honey) I kiss her neck gently and there was a soft tap at the door.
“Come In?” I said, the door creaking open a bit.
Were interrupted by a short brunette in a black T-Shirt and jeans, wearing a stage headset. “Mr.Berzatto, you’re live in 15 minutes…we need to get you mic’d - we can have a stage manager take your…wife…down to the family and friends section, her seat’s been reserved” A bright blush came to my cheeks at the assumption.
“Je crois en toi, Mon Ours” (I believe in you, my bear). Winnie said, getting off my lap and smoothing her dress down.
I gently tug down the hem of her dress out of habit, “Merci miel. Je t'aime tellement bébé. Je te chercherai, oui ?” (Thank you honey, I love you so much, baby. I’ll be looking for you, yeah?) I said, smoothing out the silky fabric over her bum and she nods, smiling big.
“Si tu fais le bien ce soir, je te laisserai m’avoir comme tu veux, Mon Sexy Chef Italien…” (If you do well tonight, I’ll let you have me any way you want, my sexy Italian Chef…) she whispered in my ear and my eyebrows raised, firey goosebumps rising from my neck to my ankles.
“Mmmm- Oui? Petit diable sexy…” (Yeah? Sexy little devil…) I said softly into her neck, patting her bum gently. “Tu dois juste bien te tenir une heure, bebe, être une bonne fille - Je serai alors vôtre, mon monde” (You only have to behave for an hour, baby, then I’m all yours- my world.)
She giggles, pulling away, “Not whore baby, say it like Taylor- say era” she said and my cheeks heat.
“Vraiment Bebe? Maintenant? Cours de français?” (Really Baby? French lessons? Now?) I ask as I rolled my eyes slightly, a smirk dancing on my lips.
“Très bien, pas maintenant. Laisse-le déchirer, Mon Ours.” (Fine, not now, let it rip, Bear) she said, tucking her purse under her arm and I actually roll my eyes.
“Pas maintenant?” (Not now?) I huff frustratedly, again not understanding the new word.
“Seigneur! Vous avez besoin d’une leçon de Français, cela signifiait - ‘ not now’ - Dork.” (Jesus! You need a French lesson, I said - ‘Fine, not now’ - Dork!) she pinched my cheek gently.
“God, je vous aime tellement.” (God, I love you so much.) I kiss her lips tenderly. The woman at the door clears her throat.
“Mr.Berzatto…sorry to interrupt, but you’re live in 13 minutes and-” Winnie cuts her off.
“and where is my escort?” She chirps with a friendly smile, turning around on the ball of her foot to face her.
“Uh- Sorry- they…Um…gimme a second” she quickly turned, walking down the hall briskly.
“Ahhh” Winnie said, plopping back in my lap comfortably. “Nous avons maintenant le temps pour une leçon de français, Ours!” (Now we have time for a French lesson, Bear!) she chirps and looks back at me.
I snort through my nose, “Tu as vu à quelle vitesse ils se….” (You saw how quickly they…) I try to think of the word, looking up at the ceiling and biting my lip. “se déplacer!!! Se déplacer ici, bébé” (Move!!! Move around here, baby.) I smile proudly and pat her side. “Tu vois, je peux être intelligent!” (See, I can be smart!).
“Mmm, je savais que tu es intelligent, mais nous devons travailler à renforcer ce triste ego, Ours” (Mmm, I knew you're smart, but we must work on strengthening that sad ego, Bear) she said and I crinkle my eyebrows, sad ego was all I really understood.
“Je comprends - ‘ l’ego intelligent, et triste ‘ – mais que signifie - ‘nous devons…ahhh- travailler? pour nous renforcer’?” (I understand the smart, and sad ego- but what does ‘we must work on … ahh - our confidence?’ mean?) I question, squeezing her waist gently. I knew she’d only give a proper lesson, if I was responding to her questions in French with what I knew.
“Ahhhh, Bon Ours ! 'nous devons travailler’ est ‘we must work’, ‘à renforcer ce’ est ‘to strengthen this’ “ (Ahhhh, Good Bear! We must work, to strengthen this) She said, pleased with my answer. I pat her hip gently, happy with the praise i’d earned.
“Tu es ma force Chérie…Mon tout” (You’re my strength, Honey...My everything) I said resting my forehead on hers. She puckered her lips and I lean in, giving her a sweet kiss.
“Hi! Mr.Berzatto- you’re on in 9, Mrs.Berzatto, I’m here to escort you to your seat.” A small blonde, dressed in the same black T-Shirt and Jeans the last person to interrupt us was.
“Je t'aime ours, souviens-toi de ce que dit Mikey” (I love you Bear, remember what Mikey would say) she said sweetly, getting up and pecking my lips.
I smiled softly, giving her one of the first lines she’d taught me in response. “On se reverra bientôt, bébé” (Meet again soon, baby). She smiled proudly, squeezing my hand before heading off with the blonde.
The brunette girl returned not to shortly after, connecting a mic under my shirt right below my throat, and leading me through the corridors. As we head down the hall, I heard an all too familiar laugh… Not one that I’d heard personally, but one that I’d heard hundreds of times while falling asleep on Winnies TV or her phone.
I stopped dead in my tracks, my head snapping towards the door that the sound came from. ‘JKS - SPECIAL GUEST - TAS ‘ A plain sheet of printer paper that was taped to the door read.
I blink a few times, reading over the paper 5 times, eyes almost popping out of my skull - TAS.
I reach out, grabbing the shoulder of the woman escorting me backstage. “T-A-S?!” I whisper shout at her. She quickly got the message.
“Oh- you didnt know” she said stupidly, looking at the door then me.
“I have to meet her” I whispered, a plan forming quickly in my mind. She smiled and nodded, looking at her watch.
“If she wants to meet you, sure, but you got a max of 4 minutes.” she said casually and my jaw drops.
That worked?!
I nodded quickly in response, trying to find words that wouldn’t embarrass Winnie, as she steps forward much too casually for my taste, and just knocks on the door.
“It’s unlocked!” the same voice I knew all too well calls and she looks at me, extending her hand towards the door.
“Shes a real sweetheart, but super chatty, so like I said- y’get four minutes.” she said and I swallowed thickly, fuck, I am supposed to open the dressing room door to the most famous popstar on Earth?! If I offend her, Winnie will absolutely break up with me.
I took a deep breath, looking at her momentarily before twisting the door handle. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, my heart was in my throat.
Jesus Christ, I don’t fuckin care about this girl, I just care I make sure Winnie and Sadie have a seat at her show tomorrow night.
She looks up as the door opens, blue eyes meeting mine. “Oh! Hey! You’re that guy getting interviewed? The chef,right? My boyfriend has been dying to try your restaurant! He just hates asking for favors, so he hasn’t called to rent it out- I hear you’re super awesome! Oh my god- so sorry. I’m Taylor, it’s nice to meet you!” she said casually, sticking her hand out for me to shake.
It took insane amounts of casualty to not allow my jaw to fully unhinge at the sight of her. Winnie was right- she doesn’t edit her pictures - shes tall as fuck - shes like.. Taller then me?
I clear my throat, standing up a bit straighter, trying to find some semblance of self-control. “Yup- thats me, Carmen, Uh- Carmen Berzatto” I shake her hand, “Yeah- uh- wow….means alot, he’s on the uh- The Chiefs right?” I asked and she nods, smiling.
“Yup! Travis, I just sing- he’s so awesome, He loves Italian food even more than the field I think, ever since he saw that podcast you were on he's been stalking your menu! ” she giggled and I raised my eyebrows. She just sings?
“Uh- my girlfriend…Yeah- yeah…I don’t wanna embarrass her, but uh- Y’know, I could totally give you and your boyfriend any night you could possibly want, like- the whole restaurant, just you guys- me and my right hand will personally make your meals - fully on the house, If you’d do me like…..one little favor-but it’s… it’s fine- if not…” I said and she stands a bit straighter.
“I love helping, what can I do?” she grins. Why the fuck does she seem so normal…and nice aren’t popstars supposed to be bitchy mean-girls that would’ve made fun of me in high school?
“my girlfriend- she like…worships you- fuck - not like a weird way - you just like…inspire her? Like? Alot- Your songs, uh- fuck- hold on…Fearless, I know thats one… uh- Sparks Fly? Oh! That one too um with the guitar...Mine? I think? And then- Oh! The Archer - she loves that one, and then I only know 2 others she really likes - sad ones….Bon Iver? With that dude” I questioned and she nods
“Mmhmm! I think…Exile and Evermore” she nods and I snap.
“Thats it! Those ones- those are like…she loves you- she’s been…she’s been trying to get tickets for her and her best friend to your New York show this weekend since you announced it, she- fuck- she’d kill me if she knew I told you, but she’s cried because she didn’t get the tickets, shes been trying so hard and-”
“How many?” said the ginger sat next to her on the couch that was silent until now, and simply pretending I wasnt there while tapping away on a laptop. I look at her, slightly taken back it was that easy to convince her? Them both?!
“Uh-” I think for a moment- just fuckin send it, Carmen. If you’re gonna ask for a favor- ask for a damn favor. “F-Five? Like- f’me, and her, and - and she wants her best friend there, a-and-” the redhead interrupts me again.
“Done, Left of the diamond good? Second row? There is no row one” she questions
“Gosh Tree! Can you let him talk? Sorry about her, shes a time freak” Taylor scolds, looking back at me, “We would love to have you there, and I’d totally like to talk to your girlfriend when me and Trav decide to come by- she sounds super cool!” she said as the brunette tugged at my sleeve.
“Mr.Berzatto, sorry- 3 minutes till you’re live, we have to go.” she said and I nod.
“Thank you- Uh, Taylor,” What the fucking shit- I’ve stared at this woman nearly every night on Winnies phone screen - now shes just here , in front of me?!
“Course! Super excited to try out your restaurant- Tree will call” she said as the brunette woman tugs my sleeve harder, dragging me out the door.
Suddenly, I got the urge to tell her the thought that had been swarming in my head whenever we watched her tour movie for the past year. Even though we’d already were headed down the hall, her dressing room was still wide open so she’d hear me.
“The way you set up the ‘Tolerate It’ song is awesome, the whole performance is super touching- You have a great voice!!! But you kinda remind me of our cat when you knock the stuff off the table! Also- erm- f’r Winnie since she’d kill me if I didn’t say- Play Sparks Fly, And Mine- and Evermore all the way, please.” I called to her quickly as I was dragged away down the hal by the brunettel, hearing Taylor laugh loudly in response, causing a blush to form on my cheeks.
Winnie would be beyond pleased to know I got her to laugh.
“Done! And Thank you, Chef! I love Cats!!!” she called after us and I smiled wide.
“I know, Winnie told me! She loves Law and Order too! Olivia is a great name, my Niece is named Olivia!” I call back and I heard her laugh again.
What the actual fuck- Taylor Swift?! I just spoke to Taylor Swift!? Why do I feel…Starstruck? Jesus Christ I owe Richie for telling me to pack Winnie’s special concert bodysuit she's been working on forever just in case I found tickets for them.
“Here’s Berzatto sorry hes late- Main act wanted to talk to him- he’s live in 45” the brunette told the large guy she’d dropped me off in front of.
He quickly checks me over, adjusting my jacket without asking, and rolling over my sleeve quickly with a lint roller and strapping a mic pack to my back under my jacket, quickly connecting it to the wire under my shirt. “On your name, wave, smile, walk” he said.
“Alright We have Berzatto comin’ out- Live in 5, 4, 3, 2” he said into his headset, backing away from me quickly and the curtain started to draw.
My eyes dart over the crowd, the lights were blinding, music started and my mind swarms.
What the literal fuck- what the fuck - Wheres Honey? - I just met Taylor Swift? I'm about to be on live TV - Don’t fuck this up, be like Mikey, listen to Winnie - Breathe to 13.
My thoughts continued to race as the my eyes adjusted to the lights that were revealed from behind the curtain. “And Welcome Chicagos Favorite Chef- Carmen Berzatto! “ Jimmy said and just like the man ordered a few moments prior, On my name I started heading towards the arm chair, smiling and waving at the live audience as I was told.
By the time I’d shook his hand and sat down, I felt numb- The answers to the questions Winnie and I had drilled to my head, swarming like an angry swarm of bees.
“So, if you don’t know Carmen, Hes a Chef Prodigy from Chicago- he has two Michelin stars and isn’t even 30 as of yet, he has won the James Beard foundation award for up-and-coming chef as well as took home the award for the best new restaurant, all while he’s only been in the industry less than ten years,”
He continued talking as I scanned for Winnie. When I finally settled on her face I relax a bit, being able to think. She smiles wide when our eyes meet, blowing me kisses and waving excitedly. I couldn’t contain my smile as I look back over at him.
“So, Carmen, Welcome, we’ve been told you’ve never done a live interview before - but you have been to plenty of award shows, you’ve been on red carpets, done podcasts over the past year- and I must say, on behalf of the public- you are one snappy dresser, please, tell us about the suit” he said and I chuckled a bit.
“Yeah- thank you again for having me, It’s different being in front of a live audience but I’m honored to have even gotten the invite. But, uh- I really like Calvin Klein, their suits are just fantastic. My uh- my girlfriend though she’s the one who usually picks out my outfits for stuff like this, I trust er more then myself a lot of the time.” I said, my eyes finding hers again and she mouths an ‘I love you!’ Holding a hand heart up for me causing me to smile bigger.
“Thats right! We have your girlfriend here Winnie is it?” He asked and my cheeks go pink I thought they promised they wouldn’t go off script?!
“Yeah! Winnie,I could talk about her forever - she’s uh…she’s really special.” My eyes find hers again to see her blowing me more kisses. My heart flutters wildly she’s so perfect.
“I assure you, my wife dresses me too i’m sure most of our male guests are dressed by their women” He chuckles, getting a laugh from the crowd. “So tell us,” he continued “You had won the ‘Best New Restaurant’ last year at the James beard awards, congratulations on that!” he said and he and the crowd clap, the teleprompter putting up a picture of The Bear that we had on our website to show us it would be on screen.
“Now, i’d assume you get special treatment whenever you take the missus for a date night out on the town, right?” He asks and I chuckle, nodding a bit.
“Right, right - so uh when I call especially around Chicago I mean” I shrug “most of the Execs are my peers so - of course we’re gonna get a table pretty easy. But I was actually surprised when we came back to the city this only the second time I’ve been back since I left to uh, head back home t’Chicago and open The Bear, but when my girl and I were out a few nights ago, we were just walkin around Soho cause she loves shopping and I love to spoil her even more of course,” I said, earning a few ‘aw’ sounds from the crowd “and we pass this group of guys, and one of em just goes ‘Yo! Sup Chef’ and I turned around cause I thought y’know- I’d know them from culinary school or one of my old gigs, and he just goes ‘Dude your hot ones interview was insane you’re a beast’ and ahh I didn’t really know what to say I’ve never been like recognized like that before” I said and he nods with a chuckle.
“Speaking of your Hot Ones interview- that has blown up since you’d done it 4 months ago- it’s currently sitting at 17 million views, You’d filmed that here in the City, So in New York do they usually give you a table? Give you free meals all that like back in Chicago?” He questions.
“Well I like to try and keep it fair, fair as I can that is. So my girl, she calls up for us, usually puts the table under her name. But uh- yeah, yeah. We do get treated nice, they’ll bring out new stuff for us to try or give us a nice bottle of wine, which is great cause honey is a big red wine lover” I said my eyes flicking to her to see she was blushing, a wide proud smile plastered along her features, bringing a heat to my cheeks.
After the interview was over, I was escorted back to my dressing room and found an envelope waiting for me at the dressing table. I walked over and opened it, taking out five row 2 tickets for tomorrow nights Taylor show.
“Holy shit” I whispered to myself, staring at them in shock. She actually got me the tickets. Does this mean she’s really gonna come by the restaurant?! Winnie’s gonna flip. Fuck- we have to get back to the hotel or with all the excitement she’s gonna be exhausted and pissy on the flight home.
I heard my favorite thing in the world in the hallway, Winnie’s voice. I quickly tucked the tickets back in the envelope safely, and put it hidden in my inside breast pocket for safe keeping.
“Bearrr!” Winnie said excitedly as she opened the door before rushing over to me. I wrap my arms around her tightly, picking her up and spinning her around causing her to giggle “you did amazing ours (bear) so so amazing I’m so proud of you” she kisses all over my face and I smile, closing my eyes and relishing in her praise and attention.
“I love you baby, so much” I kiss her lips sweetly, wrapping her legs around my hips and hiking her up further on my waist. “I missed you” I said when I pull away, kissing down her neck and over her bare shoulder.
She giggled “I was right there, baby! The whole time” she runs her fingers through my hair and I hum at the feeling of her nails scratching that spot next to my ear.
“Mm you weren’t in my lap though” I said and sit on the couch, my hands rubbing over her thighs and her arms, anywhere I could feel her soft, supple skin.
“Were still going to that bar right?! You deserve to celebrate baby.” She said, playing with my hair gently. I adjusted her C pendant around her neck I’d gotten her when we started officially dating, trying to think up a quick excuse, she’s gonna need a lot of sleep for tomorrow I don’t want her grumpy and tired at the concert.
“I dunno baby…I think let’s just go back to the hotel yeah? Got up early this mornin’ wouldn’t you rather get some pizza and mozzarella sticks and watch a movie? Mm? We can cuddle? Have a nice bath?” I rub her arm and she pouted a bit.
“Okay, can we go tomorrow though?” She asks and I nod
“Course Mon Monde” (my world) I whisper and kiss her lips gently.
By the time we got back to the hotel it was already midnight, and I could tell by the way she was walking her heels were hurting her badly by now on the walk up to our room.
“Gotta get y’outta those shoes baby, y’re hips buggin’ you?” I ask, wrapping my arm securely around her waist. If I wasn’t holding the food, I’d already be carrying her.
“Mmhmm, tired too. Glad we didn’t go out” she leans into me as the elevator doors closed and I smooched her temple.
“Y’think I can’t tell when you’re exhausted, baby?” I teased, rubbing her side gently and she smiles.
“Yeahhh, yeah. But we rarely get to go out, Bear. You’re too busy, I love going out with you, you’re a fun dance partner” she said looking up at me with a tired smile.
I felt a blush creeping to my cheeks, smiling big. “I’ll only ever dance for you, my love” I kiss her forehead gently. When we got to the room, I set the boxes of food on the bed and helped her unzip her dress, grabbing her pajamas for her “get comfy princess” I told her before grabbing my grey sweatpants and white T shirt, shrugging off my jacket.
“You look really sexy in that suit, baby. I wanna see you in suits more often, hopefully this interview will lead to more live ones…y’did so so sooo good bear, everyone was laughin’ and they really seemed t’like you” she slips off her bra, putting on my old ‘the beef’ shirt and some Nike leggings.
“Thank you angel, it’s just really fuckin stressful” I said and started to unbutton my shirt.
“I know, but no one is as good at handling stress then you, bear. You’re strong. Mon gros ours fort” (my big strong bear) she comes over, untucking my shirt and unbuttoning it the rest of the way. “Mmm you’re lucky there’s pizza waiting and I hate when it’s cold” she kisses down my neck while rubbing her hands over my bare chest and I smile, rubbing her back gently, caressing over the scar on her hip with my thumb.
“Tu es une vilaine petit fille” (you are such a naughty little girl) I spank her gently and she giggles, looking up at me with those fuckin bedroom eyes she always did.
“je suis ta petite pute, chef” (I’m your little whore, chef) she said, leaning in and kissing me deeply. I chuckle softly in to her mouth, squeezing her bum.
“Tu as une bouche bien sale, Bebe” (you have a filthy mouth baby) I told her, brushing her curls from her in front of her eyes. “Le temps de manger ma douceur, c’est un grand” (it’s time to eat, my sweetness, you have an important day tomorrow.) I said and she raises her eyebrows.
“What’re we doin?” She asked, sitting on the bed as told and opening the pizza box.
“Patience, mon petit lapin” (patience, my little bunny) I smooth her hair gently and kissed the top of her head before taking off my shirt and dress pants, slipping on my pajamas before sitting down.
“Can I get a hint?” She pleads, taking a piece of pizza out and having a bite.
“Pas de conseils, seulement de la patience.” (No hints, only patience) I told her, grabbing a slice for myself and having a bite.
“Je suis impressionné par ton bébé, français, as-tu étudié sans moi?” (I'm impressed by your French baby, did you study without me?) She said softly, and I furrow my brow, thinking as I chew.
“Je sous…” (I’m under) I repeat as I think to myself, “why? Did I say something wrong?” I pout a bit, looking at her, thinking she was saying she was under impressed with my French and that I should be studying more.
“Bebe, Je suis, suis, my love, Je, Suis” she said, sweetly.
“Ohhhh- ohh…you are impressed, not under impressed” I smiled a bit and she rolls her eyes playfully.
“”Mon ours n’a jamais rien fait d’autre que m'impressionner ” (my bear, never does anything but impress me.) she strokes my cheek gently. “Mon sexy homme” (my sexy man) she whispered and gently brushed back my hair.
I blushed more, my cheeks surely being a shade of bright red that matched hers. “Je t’aime mon gros ours sexy” she said and I smirked, knowing ‘I love you my big sexy bear’ anywhere
“Oooo” she said happily as she opened the box of mozzarella sticks. “Oooo!!! And you got extra sauce! I love you so so much” she kisses my cheek and I chuckle.
“You and cheese, I swear you’re half mouse sometimes” I tease and she giggled, dipping it in the sauce and taking a bite.
“Mmmm-“ she hums before continuing “I would love to be a mouse. Would you love me still if you woke up one morning and there was a note on my pillow that a fae turned me into a mouse? Would you keep me?” She asked, dunking again and taking another bite.
I snort, “a mouse? I mean…we couldn’t have sex anymore so that would suck, but it would be you. Wait- would you love me if you were a mouse?” I asked taking a bite of my pizza.
“Of course- well..maybe more so because I would fully depend on you to translate for me, unless I was a mouse that could speak. In which case you’d not need a note because you’d wake up to me making a comfy little nest in your hair and I’d tell you I was a mouse and now I’d sleep on your head like Ratatouille. Ooo and during the day I could sit on your shoulder, you could carry me around in your pocket!!” She ruffles my hair playfully and I smile, shaking my head at her adorable constant need to discuss out of this world scenarios and how we’d each react to them.
“That would be very fun, well- maybe it would put off customers if they knew the head chef walks around with a mouse on his shoulder, but I wouldn’t care cause we’d get to be together all the time ma petit souris” (my little mouse) I shrugged with a smile, taking another bite.
She smiles proudly, gently kissing my jaw. “Ahh en francais? Quel bon garçon” (ah in French? What a good boy) she praised softly, squeezing my bicep sweetly, kissing my shoulder. “Mmm what about…” she picks her pizza back up, taking a bite and thinking for a moment “oo!! What if right now like - I just burst into glitter. Like. Poof and was gone? What would you do?” she giggled and I laughed.
“Where did you go?! I would find you obviously, or I’d never stop looking for you. I’d give up everything and become a private investigator to find you” I shrug, poking her cheek playfully.
“No like dead gone what if I spontaneously combusted into glitter and like- that was my death. I’m gone. Poof. Nothing more then little sparkly granules” she muses and I raise my eyebrows.
“Dead? Well…I’d probably start sobbing and be on my hands and knees picking up every little piece to keep in a bag forever and I’d take it with me everywhere.” I said and she pouted.
“Stop you are too sweet. I thought you were gonna be like ‘welp guess I’m gettin the vacuum out’ “ she laughs and I gasp, poking her belly.
“The vacuum?! What - was that what your answer was gonna be?” I chuckled and she grinned wide.
“Maaaybe. But of course I’d be kidding!!!! Ooo maybe I’d turn you in to a pretty eyeshadow.” She pecks my lips and I squeeze her cheeks with my hand gently, a pout forming on her lips at the action.
“Y’re fuckin weird and I love it” I smooch her lips again and she giggles in to my mouth lightly.
When we were finished eating, she took her regular spot on my lap as she scrolled through videos on her phone, giggling and sending some of them to Sadie.
Shit. Sadie. She has to be on a fuckin plane like- now.
I clear my throat “s’rry bunny, can you uh- I gotta go to the bathroom.” I said and she rolls off me without looking up, stretching herself out on her side of the bed. I slickly grab my phone without her noticing and go off to the bathroom, shutting the door and leaning against it.
I found Sadie’s contact and hit dial, praying to god she was up and would see it or at least answer it if it woke her up. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding when I heard her pick up.
“What did you do” she grumbles in to the phone, knowing that I’d usually only ever call her this late if I’d fucked up majorly and had to have her talk Winnie down from a freak out.
“N-nothing. No- sorry f’wakin’ you- listen, I’m gonna get on Google and get you, Eva, and Richie a flight. Listen to me Sadie I can only say it once she’s probably listening you know how she is. I got tickets! 5 tickets!! Fuckin floor” I said quietly in to the phone, knowing she’d know exactly what I was talking about since every time she Winnie and I would hang out, my cellphone and laptop would both be held hostage as they forced me to scoure different Internet forums and Facebook groups trying to find tickets for them.
“ARE YOU FUCKING ME RIGHT NOW?!?! SHES GONNA FUCKING SHIT HERSELF AND THROW UP- NO- SHES GONNA EXPLODE. HOW DID YOU FUCKING MANAGE!!” She shrieks in to the phone so loudly I had to remove it from my ear and I could still hear her perfectly.
“Shhhhhh!! Shhh! Contain your screaming for tomorrow night - and don’t tell her she won’t be able to sleep. But fill in Richie, I’m gonna buy your flights and hotel rooms and shit and send it to you in a groupchat, and please for the love of god- if you can, go help him pack- the last time he went on a fuckin trip the jagoff took a rediculous amount of socks but somehow forgot a shirt? Just please- Eva is gonna be so torn up if he forgets something” I plead and she laughs.
“Noted. Did you need me to go get Pooh’s shit?” She asked
“No- wait fuck the bracelets? Her special bracelets the uh- the ones on that hand heart thing in her room. All of em - and she has a-a bucket in her closet full of em she’s been makin em every day pretty much she wants to like give em out or somethin. Put em in a bag- wait- no don’t mix them.” I said nervously fuck. Planning a concert this intense is not my forte.
“I got it I got it. How the fuck did you secure those tickets, Carmen?” She asked
“Bear! Bear come look come LOOK!!” Winnie squeaks from the other room “PEOPLE SAY TAYLOR WAS THE SPECIAL GUEST ON JIMMY KIMMEL TONIGHT DID YOU SEE HER BACK THERE?!”
Fuckin shit. Leave it to Taylor’s cult to be tracking her every move. Hell- what am I saying the cults president is outside the door.
“Gotta go” I whisper in to the phone and hung up quickly, taking a deep breath.
“Really baby? I uh- no- no way, I’m sure that she has so much security I was on a whole other side of the building I bet.” I call back as casually as I could, my fingers shaking as I went online and finding the earliest flights I could.
“Carmen we were sharing air.” She said, starstruck. “Sharing AIR BABE” she repeats and I laugh, some of my tension desolving.
“Mm one step closer to meeting the leader” I teased as I quickly check out with 3 plane tickets in to JFK thank god the site had Apple Pay so I didn’t have to sneakily grab my wallet.
“Come onnn are you almost done? I wanna snuggle” she whines and I sigh softly to myself, hiding anything from her is the absolute worst.
“Mm a few more minutes baby” I said, calling the hotel we were staying at currently.
“Ritz Carlton front desk, how can I help you?” The woman on the end answered.
“Hello I- I um - I’m staying here? Like- now? A-and I am gonna be having guests come I need to add 2 rooms for tomorrow on to my reservation? I’m in room 313” I said quietly hoping Winnie couldn’t hear.
“Oh! Alright, there are 2 rooms available on floor 3, room 388 and room 389, both have a king size bed should this suffice?” She asks.
“Sure that’s great” I said rubbing my chin nervously.
“And how many guests?” She asks
“Three” I reply, hearing her type and click around on her computer.
“And their names please.” She said.
“Sadie Adamu, and Richie and Eva Jerimovich” I said quietly.
“Oh ok so Adamu can you spell that?” She said and I run my hand through my hair anxiously.
“A-d-a-m-u. And Jerimovich is J-e-r-i-m-o-v-i-c-h “ I replied, biting my lip when I hear Winnie again.
“Who’re you talkin’ to bear?” She calls. I squeeze my eyes shut
Fuckin hell.
“Alright! Got it all in the system, check in is at 2 pm, is there anything el-“ I cut her off
“Nope! Thanks bye” I quickly hang up the phone and took a deep breath and put my phone back in my pocket, rubbing over my face.
“Bear?” She called again.
I opened the bathroom door and see her laying cuddled up in a ball on my side of the bed, holding the phone only a few inches from her face.
“Give em’ “ I extend my hand with a grin and she rolls her eyes, sitting up a bit and squinting at the nightstand.
“Threw em there” she points at the nightstand generally before plopping back down.
“You are a crusty little thing mon souris” (my mouse) I pick up her contacts from the nightstand and go toss them in the bin before coming back and laying down after flicking off the lamp.
“Who were you talkin to?” She asked, looking over at me.
“Oh uh- Syd…she sent this voice note askin’ about the schedule I was just explaining some stuff to ‘er” I said casually, genuinely surprised I was able to come up with a lie on the spot.
“Oh, ok” she said and turned her phone off, grabbing her kindle and snuggling in to my chest.
“Tv off please” she mutters and I silently thank god she was giving in to her exhaustion.
“Oui ma cherie” (yes my darling) I kissed her forehead lightly and grabbed the remote,clicking the tv off and putting the remote on the nightstand before settling in and sighing softly.
“Mm. s’quiet without your thing.” I said, alluding to her noise machine. She snorts a laugh.
“It’s cute that you miss it” she said, turning the brightness down on her tablet. I wrap my arm around her waist, tucking my other hand between her thighs per usual.
“What’re you readin’ Angel?” I asked, stroking her stomach with my hand gently.
“Our book” she said softly and I hum.
“Which part?” I question quietly and she taps the screen so it’d flip to the next page
“Favorite one” she hums and I smiled softly.
“Up for reading t’me, miel?” (Honey)
“Any time ours” (Bear) she said before beginning.
“ ‘Open your heart, and someone will come. Someone will come for you, Edward. But first, you must open your heart.’ Said the old doll. ‘I am done with being loved. And I am done with loving- for it’s too painful.’ Edward replied. ‘Oh pish’ said the doll. ‘Where is your courage?’ She asked Edward. ‘Somewhere else, I guess’ he replied. ‘You disappoint me.’ She said. ‘You, Edward, disappoint me greatly. If you have no further intention of loving or being loved, then this whole journey is pointless. You might as well leap from this shelf, and let yourself shatter into a million little pieces. Get it over with. Get it all over now.’ Edward couldn’t come up with a response, so he stared out the window, and he saw his beloved stars. But for the first time In his life, he’d felt no comfort by their sparkling presence, shining back at him through the curtians. He instead, felt mocked. ‘You are down there all alone.’ The stars seemed to say to him. ‘And we are up here, in the constellations together.’ - ‘But…I have been loved.’ Edward thinks at the stars. ‘What difference does that make, when you’re all alone now?’ The stars seem to say back.
And Edward could think of no answer to that question.”
I made sure to get up early, knowing Winnie would be sleeping as long as I’d let her. I got dressed and brushed my teeth before heading out to go get her breakfast.
I stopped at chick fil a, getting her favorite meal in the morning time, and then went to this floral shop that was on the way back that i’d passed a cute flower shop on the walk back to the hotel that i’d passed a million times on my commute to work while living here, picking out a big bouquet of pink, purple, yellow and blue flowers. Lover colors Winnie will say when she sees them. At the counter while I was checking out there were big foil heart shaped ‘I love you’ balloons, so, of course I got one of those as well.
I quietly opened the hotel room door, setting the flowers tied to the balloon on my side of the bed and setting the food bags down on her nightstand. I gently sat down on her end of the bed, the dip of my weight causing her to stir and reach out for me on my side, but when she instead felt the paper of the bouquet she opened her eyes, blinking a few times and looking back at me.
“G’mornin sleeping beauty.” I said softly, taking her hand and kissing it after she got a good stretch in.
“Mmm. Glasses please, are those flowers?” She asks sleepily, sitting up and yawning. I hand them to her and she puts them on, pouting.
“Bear, oh my god c’mere” she flops into my arms and hugs me tight. “I love you, thank you. Y’re the best boyfriend in the whole wide world” she kisses my neck sweetly and I rub her back, smiling and kissing her head gently.
“No I just try and show my baby how much she deserves” I pull her into my lap, kissing all over her face and she giggles.
“Stoppp I have morning breath” she whines shying her face into my chest and I rub her hair gently.
“Mmm smells ok t’me angel, c’mon I got your favorite,” I grab the bag and she gasps happily, taking it from me and giving me a big kiss.
“You’re the best” she said again, sitting in her spot criss cross and looking up, following the string of the balloon and she looks back at the flowers, then the balloon again and her lip starts to quiver.
“Bear” she whispers “Y’re too good” she said, tears pooling her eyes at the thoughtful gesture.
“No tears baby, you know if you cry, I cry” I clear my throat, wiping under her eyes gently. It was my biggest weakness, and I’m not a cryer. Usually, for anything else, but for some reason, when she starts to cry- I can’t help it. It’s totally uncontrollable.
“ ‘m sorry” she sniffles and takes my hand, kissing gently. “I just…I love you bear. So so much” she said and I smiled, tucking her hair gently behind her ear.
“I love you more baby, look-” I opened up the bag for her, grabbing the little ‘chicken minis’ she loved and setting them in her lap as well as the hashbrowns and the many sauces.
“They always hound me about the bigger bottle- and I have to tell them every time ‘no she only likes this sauce with this food but she wants to have enough’ “ I explained, grabbing the many little packets of ‘Polynesian’ and their house sauce she loved so much.
She giggled, opening up the hashbrowns. “You’re the cutest” she said, dipping a hash brown in to the sauce and popping it in her mouth.
“Oh!” I said and grab her frozen coffee out of the little drink carrier, and popping a straw in for her “extra chocolate, for my honey of course” I said and set it down on the nightstand.
“I fall more in love with you every day, mon ours” (my bear) she leans forward, pecking my lips. “Open” she said softly and I oblige. She popped a hash brown in my mouth and I amile gratefully.
“Y’got food too I hope” she said and I nod as I chew.
“Mmhmm, their chicken one” I opened up the smaller bag, grabbing out 2 of the chicken biscuits I’d gotten for myself and she laughs.
“Yeah? Their chicken one?” She repeats and I raise my eyebrow, looking at her. “All they serve is chicken, baby” she giggled and I roll my eyes smiling.
“A chicken biscuit. Two actually” I snort, grabbing the ranch packets out of my bag.
“Mmm” she hums as she sips her coffee. “They always get it right when you get it bear they never make it this chocolatey for me. The girls at the counter must think you’re cute.” She muses teasingly, eating one of her little brioche chicken things that she was convinced I couldn’t replicate perfectly, no matter how much I’d tried.
I really think she just loves to see me keep yearning to impress her, frisky little devil.
“I think that you just like it more when Y’re happy little butt gets to stay snuggled up in bed, and it taste better cause you didn’t have to work for it” I teased and she laughs, scrunching her nose adorably.
“Maaaaybeee - but don’t pretend like every time we go out you aren’t getting hit on, mister sexy chef” she splays her legs over my lap, crossing her ankles.
“Oh yeah” I roll my eyes, taking a bite of my sandwich after pouring a good amount of ranch on. “Totally - like you remember that lady at Coach yesterday when I didn’t know that bag was like 30k and she told me to ‘get my sticky fingers off that bag’ she was all over me, babe“ I snort and she laughs, leaning against the headboard.
“Dude - I’m surprised I didn’t fucking jump her with the way she was talking to us. I am never getting a coach bag now baby, don’t even think about it. Syd was right- Prada was the way to go. I can’t waittt to show her oh my god. Sadie is gonna flip” she said and I smiled, nodding. Mmhmm when she gets here in about 3 hours, she and you will both be flipping out.
“Oh! Shit! I didn’t check” she put down her food, grabbing her phone and going on to the Ticketmaster app and my eyes widen. They better not be dropping tickets today. I wanted to wait for Sadie to get here and tell her together and if she tries to buy them i’ll have no choice.
“Oh- I already did baby. I did as soon as I got up” I lied, feeling the envelope in my inner breast pocket containing the tickets burning a hole in to me. The taste of the words on my tongue were bitter knowing they held no truth, but this was a good lie. A lie that will make her ultimately happy.
“Oh…” she pouts sadly, her shoulders hunching slightly in defeat as she refreshes the empty Ticketmaster page just in case. “I feel selfish…but…I just love her s’much. I know I’ve seen her already but-“ she sighs, shaking her head. “I know it’s bratty, but Sadie and I have the most fun at her concerts. I don’t even know how she’d get here in time, what am I even saying. And I didn’t even take my outfit.” She puts her phone down. “No taylor talk today, ok? It’ll just make me sad.” She took a sip of coffee and I nodded, rubbing her leg gently.
My heart ached seeing her so upset. I felt the words pressing at the back of my throat begging to come out, to comfort her, to tell her ‘it’s ok baby I got them already Sadie’s on her way, Richie and Eva are coming! This is everything the three of you have been talking about since she announced it, I love you angel please be happy.’
But instead, I squeeze her calf gently. “No taylor talk.” I nod. When we’d finished eating, she had gone to have a ‘everything’ shower which was code for ‘leave me alone, I need to get shit done’ shower, and I picked up the room, throwing our garbage away and setting the flowers on the desk for her.
I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket and when I saw it was Richie calling I picked it up right away.
“Guess where we are cousinnn!!” He said excitedly in to the phone
“Cousin Carmy were coming to see you AND TAYLOR SWIFT!!” Eva squeals excitedly and I chuckle.
“Jesus Christ I’m deaf” I hear Sadie grumble.
“Someone doesn’t like mornings, Cousin you send a drill sergeant that hates mornings to my house at 5 am to announce we’re seeing Taylor swift?!” He asks and I chuckle.
“Staff Sergeant. Thank you!” She snips and I snorted.
“Cause I know a Marine is the only person that could get your ass out of bed before first light on a day off, how far out are you?” I asked, sitting on the bed.
“Well we got the rental, Sadie is driving - the GPS saysss….” He groans. “An hour and forty six minutes with traffic” he grumbled.
“Welcome to New York, cousin. Let me know when you guys get here and drop off your shit. We’re in room 313 y’guys are gonna be 388 and 389” I said
“I want 389!” Sadie and Eva said at the same time and I crinkle my brows.
“What’s with- oh my god” I roll my eyes. “Cause of 1989? I can’t stand you guys…” I chuckle.
“She can have it cause I’m so mature” Sadie teased and I snort.
“Thanks, bug. I’ll s’ya soon. Drive safe.” I said before ending the call. I heard the water cut off, Winnie belting to Taylor songs per usual.
I took the opportunity while she was still in the bathroom to call and make a reservation at Freemans - for tomorrow afternoon, a spot Winnie had been gushing about ever since none other than Taylor was seen there a while back.
I had no shame this time in mentioning my first and last name, knowing they’d pull out every stop for us since the host asked if I was the owner of the bear, the restaurants owner must know of me.
The door clicks open just after I hang up and Winnie paused her music, coming out in a pair of panties and one of my white shirts, her hair still dry since I assume she tied it back.
“Hey hey” she said, coming and sitting in my lap. I rub my hand up her thigh gently.
“Hey beautiful, you have a nice shower?” I mutter in to her neck, gently kissing a trail of butterfly kisses up to her jaw.
“Mmhmm” she interlocks our fingers, gently squeezing my hand. “What’s my surprise? I love your surprises, Bear” she kisses my lips sweetly and I raise my eyebrows in surprise her fuckin memory sometimes she always remembers the shit she shouldn’t.
“Mmm” I hum softly into the kiss, swiping my tongue against her bottom lip and kissing her deeper, running my hands up her sides, hoping if I fluster her enough the question will slip her mind.
She moaned softly, running her fingers through my hair and tugging lightly, scratching at the places she knew made me melt into her.
“Baby” she said into my lips. “What’re you hiding from me” she kissed the corner of my mouth gently and I look up at her, my cheeks bright pink.
I’m not the one that’s supposed to be flustered right now.
I bit my lip gently and rest my forehead on her chest, not wanting to look at her pleading hazel eyes.
“s’a surprise honey” I said into her shirt. She rubbed my back gently.
“Will I get my surprise today?” She asked.
“Course, like less then 2 hours yeah? Not much longer baby” I kiss her collar bones gently and she moves to straddle my waist, my hands moving down to cup the flesh of her backside as I usually did when she sat like this to support her.
“S’we have enough time to play” she said softly in my ear, pushing up the hem of my shirt. Her cold hands made my abs and stomach tighten, hissing softly at the contact.
“Ye’ baby - fuck Y’re hands are freezing.” I squeeze her ass gently, resting my head back as she kisses my neck and throat, gently nibbling along my jaw.
“Then warm me up bear” she whispered into my skin.
𝒲𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱. 🍯
“Fuckfuckfuck y-yours- i’m yours, no one could ever make me feel so good, Carmy” I whine out, tugging his hair as he devours me. Icy blue eyes darkened with lust were piercing my gaze, his nose nudging my clit causing me to let out a breathy moan as his tongue plunged in and out of my core.
“That’s right, I fuckin own this pussy baby” he said hotly, my arousal dripping down his chin, his lips plump and oh so pink from the delicious assault on the place I needed him most.
“Please” I said, tears from the overwhelming pleasure were gathering in the corners of my eyes at this point, and he had been practically humping the mattress to get himself off as he ravished me. I knew he wanted me as much as I needed him.
“Please what honey?” He sat up, one knee on the bed, hovering over me, his chain dangling in my face as he rubs my clit. I writhe and squirm beneath his touch, already 2 orgasms deep but I was drunk off the pleasure. I couldn’t tell him to stop, it was like a high I never wanted to come off of.
“F-ahh” my hips buck wildly, eyes screwing shut and nose scrunching as that oh so familiar intense wave of pleasure begins crashing at the dam doors of my stomach.
“Fuck me, fuckmefuckme Bear, pleeeeaseeee” I beg out pulling him in to a deep kiss. He huffs a chuckle in to my mouth, taking his hand away from my center to pull himself free, covering his cock in my arousal that was soaking his hand.
“Y’gonna be a good girl ‘n not get greedy? Mm? I don’t want y’t’be sore baby” he said, lining himself up at my entrance.
I huff sassily. “I want all of your cock, not just a little” I pout and he puts his tip in, my mouth quickly dropping in pleasure and eyes fluttering shut. I grabbed his hand, wrapping it around my throat and looking up at him.
“Mmm you wanna be my little whore?” He coos, leaning in and kissing my lips sweetly.
“Please…” I said softly and I moan as I felt his hand tighten around my throat and he sinks in further.
“Fuck- s’fuckin tight Angel” his grip around my throat tightens a bit as he tries to hold himself back from rutting in to me fully before he stretched me out.
I bit my lip, my eyebrows furrowing together in pleasure at the mix of the lightness filling my head and the warmth it brought.
“Feel good princess?” He pushes in deeper and I moan in response.
“S’so good Carm- fuck I love your cock” I whine out, my back arching when he hits my gspot.
“Half way baby. Be my g’girl.” He strokes my throat with his thumb gently and I nod quickly.
“I’m trying, feels fuckin amazing bear I can’t help it” I said and he kisses around my chest, sucking on my nipple and grunting in to me when he felt my core tighten around him as I was brought to the very tip of the edge.
“Let go” he said as he pushed in fully, the sensation causing my third orgasm to wash over me like a harsh crack of hot lightning. My walls clench around him pulsingly, my back arching and hot thick strings of cries, whines, and moans between curses spilled from my lips.
He released his hold on my neck, pressing his lips to my forehead, thrusting harder faster. “Mmm fuck. Can y’give me another one honey? C’mon, I know my good girl can give me another one.” He muttered and I smile up at him, kissing his jaw gently.
“So determined Bear- mmm- there-there don’t fuckin move, there. I-I promise I’ll give you another” I plead, my nails dragging down his back and he moaned at the contact.
“Shit yesss baby. Fuckin scratch me up please I love that shit fuck Y’re like a horny little cat” he grunts, fucking in to the same spot harder, holding himself up by the mattress.
The only sounds leading my lips were incoherent mumbled profanities and short ‘uh-uh-uh’ as he pounded me harder in to the mattress. A few short minutes later I was cumming again soaking is thighs and all the way up to his stomach, he grunts approvingly.
“Fuuuck that’s my good girl. Shiiit y’re so fuckin’ wet baby. My messy little girl” he praises and I feel my cheeks heat, a warm pool of liquid settling by the dip of my bum.
“Shit m’sorry I didn’t mean to make such a mess” I said embarrassedly and he shook his head lightly.
“Babe its hot as fuck. I wish I could make you do this every fuckin time.” He holds my breasts to keep them from bouncing, thumbing my nipples over my jewlery as he continues snapping his hips.
I whine, my hips arching up in overstimulation but that just burried him deeper. I cry out and he quickly puts his arm under my hips to support them, holding me in that position.
“Holy fuckkkk” he moans out, eyes fluttering shut in bliss and head falling back as he picks up his pace. “Fuck Angel you are fuckin perfect. Here touch Y’re belly baby, feel me” he kisses along my neck and I reach my hand down, gasping as I press on my stomach and feel his cock driving in and out of me.
“Fuck oh my god” I said, a laugh falling from my lips followed by a moan, “wow. This is what they mean when they say rearrange my guts” I kiss him deeply, tugging his curls firmly between my fingers and he moans into my mouth.
“Sh-iiiit s-so close…” he whined out and I smile lazily, kissing a trail of gentle kisses over his jaw as he continued. His thrusts were becoming stuttering, sloppy, and much less powerful. Now it was my turn to push him over the ledge.
“je t'aime, mon ours” (I love you, my bear) I whisper sweet and sensually in his ear, and he grunted, spilling in to me with one final thrust, bottoming out and slamming our lips together in a heated, wanting kiss, keeping himself buried deep inside me while his cock pulses through his comedown.
“I fuckin love you Winnow” he breathes in to my skin leaving wet hot kisses over my chest and collarbones.
He rolls over, laying next to me and catching his breath. “We need to shower” he said after a while of cuddling and I look at him, my brows furrowing.
“Why” I question, resting my hand on his chest and wrapping my leg around his.
“Cause we got things t’do baby, y’re surprise” he smiled a bit, patting my bum gently.
“My legs are useless at the moment. You want me t’shower I need t’be carried” I mused, gently running my fingers over the curve of his abs.
“Mmhmm that can be arranged” he grabs his phone, angling it away so I couldn’t see who he was texting before turning the phone back normal and googling the hotel we’re staying at, calling the front desk.
Okay, he’s really hiding something.
“Yeah hey- me and my uh…” he looks down at me “wife- we need the sheets changed in room 313…yeah- nope that’s fine we’re gonna be in the bathroom so- alright. Yup, thank you.” He said and hung up. I wiggle my eyebrows.
“Wife?” I teased with a big grin.
His cheeks go pink. “You know I’ll make you my wife someday. People seem t’take us as like… a legit couple when I say that…when I just call you my girl people think we’re kids ‘er somethin” he rubs my back lightly.
“Mmm…i’m just teasin’ baby..but- I dunno… I like that- it just sounds right coming from your mouth. I never thought of myself as wifey material but…Winnow Berzatto. That sounds nice, don’t ya think?” I kiss his collarbones and he swallows thickly.
“Yeah…yeah I uh- I kept thinkin’ about that last night when they called you that..I liked that a lot too..” he said softly, stroking my hair.
“Well” I stick up my ring finger, wiggling it in front of his face “Whenever you’re ready, I’m waiting” I peck his lips and he hums, deepening our kiss and running his hand up my side.
“Thank you baby” he said, resting his forehead on mine. “F’r bein’ so patient w’me” he said quietly, rubbing my lower back in small circles.
“ ‘fcourse Carm, I’d wait forever for you” I kiss his nose and he smiles big, a blush painting his cheeks a cherry red.
“Y’wont need to wait that long baby, I’m just…just gettin’ my shit together” he sighs a bit, rubbing his hand up my back. “C’mon koala, up” he pats my bum and I release his leg, sitting up against the headboard.
He stood up, coming to my side and I lifted my arms. He lifted me up simply, holding me bridal style and carrying me to the bathroom.
“Mmm mon gros ours sexy, et fort..” (mm my big strong, sexy bear..) I said into his ear, nibbling his earlobe with my teeth and he sets me down on the bathroom counter with a smile.
“Tu es déja ton…” (you already got your…) he stops, thinking for a moment “ahhh Tu es déja ton remplis ma sale cherie.” (You already got your fill my dirty darling) he smiled proudly, turning on the water.
“Ooohhh look at mon petit ours français sexy” (oooh look at my sexy little french bear) I giggled, crossing my ankles and leaning against the mirror.
“Mmhmm, I have the sexiest little professor” he comes over, kissing my lips sweetly. I hum in to the kiss, playing with his curls gently. We made out until the bathroom was thick with steam, and our lips didn’t disconnect as we stepped into the oversized walk in shower.
He rested my back against the wall, hands firmly supporting my bum as he held me up, my ankles crossed at his tailbone, thighs squeezing his waist gently. I smiled, my eyes fluttering shut and resting my forehead on his shoulder as he kissed my neck.
“Feels good Bear…Y’gonna mark me up, Carmy?mm? Show everyone you own me?” I bit down on the ball of his shoulder playfully and he groans in satisfaction.
“Not yet baby, Y’gonna wanna take pictures today” he said softly, leaving sweet tender kisses along my jaw bone to my lips. “Cmon princess, can I set you down and get y’washed up? We can’t be late” he pleads.
I sigh softly “fine. Now I’m interested though, I know you like takin’ pictures of me, but I rarely think to take them myself. What’re you up to, Bear?” I sit down on the marble bench built in to the shower as soon as he’d set me down, my legs still feeling quite shakey under me.
“It’s a surprise princess, I told you.” He grabbed my body wash and a washcloth, sudsing it up “c’mere stinky” he teases and I gasp, feigning great offense, clutching my necklace.
“Stinky?! You made me stinky!! With all your man sweat.” I stick out my tongue at him and he chuckled, wrapping an arm around my waist and hoisting me to my feet, gently washing over my body.
“Oh yeah, but if I remember you were all pleasepleaseplease begging for my stink missy” he mimics me and I gasp, hitting his chest lightly and laughing.
“Do not make fun of me, y’know what- fine. I’ll just suck your soul out later and then mock you when we’re done about how your like ‘aughhhh ah-ooo-shit, fuck honey yesss” I mimicked his whines and shrugged.
He laughs “Whatever was left of my soul you’ve already sucked out months ago, little vampire. So good luck cause I’m all dry.” he teased.
By the time we were done in the shower, I had felt much better. The hot water worked it’s magic on my sore muscles, and Carmy even laid with me and was giving me a long, relaxing lotion massage.
He's really laying this whole surprise thing on thick.
“Baby” I said softly, looking down at him and his gaze meets mine, continuing to massage my hip since it was so tight after everything this morning and having to walk around in heels last night.
A blush comes to my cheeks and my throat suddenly felt tight, I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea about my question, but I also didn’t want him to do anything just to appease me.
“Are you…is the surprise proposing? Cause I don’t want …I don’t want to get married until you’re ready baby I’m ok with my necklace I don’t need a ring I know you love me” I said softly and he smiles, nodding.
“No baby, I’m not. Sorry if that’s disappointing, but like I said, I promise at some point, I will- and I don’t think you’d be able to handle all that excitement t’night.” He kissed my knee gently and continued on massaging.
“Oh..ok” I said and went back to scrolling through twitter on my phone. He digs his phone out of his pocket when it buzzes immediately, almost too quick, and sends a fast response before setting it on the bed and patting my hip gently.
“Put on some pants, can’t be poohin’ it we have guests comin’” he teased. I giggled at the silly joke. Whenever he’d come over and I was in nothing but panties and a shirt, he’d always say I was “living up to my name” since Winnie the Pooh never wears pants.
“Who’s visiting?” I asked, getting up and grabbing my fluffy pajama pants.
“You’ll see princess” he hums, taking a dress bag out of his suitcase and a black bag, hanging them on the closet door as there was a knock.
“Y’wanna get the door angel?” He asked and I raised a brow, slipping my feet into my bear paw slippers and shuffling over to the door, pulling it open.
“WINNIE!!” Eva runs in and hugs my legs and hips tightly as I stood there, jaw dropped to see Richie and Sadie standing there.
“Guys!? What are you doing here?” I picked Eva up, kissing all over her face. “You came to Visit us pipsqueak?!” I asked her excitedly.
“Cousin Carmy has a SURPRISE TELL HER CARMY TELL HER” she yelled at him.
“Shhhh, shh baby people are sleepin come on” I giggled at her excitement, letting them in the door and setting her down gently.
I give Sadie a big hug “SadieBug what the fuck!!” I giggle squeezing her tightly. “Why the hell are you guys here?” I give Richie a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“Y’still didnt tell ‘er?” Richie asked Carm, who was already picking up Eva and throwing her on to the bed, one of her favorite games when we’d stay at a hotel. She giggles wildly, each time she flew in to the pillows she’d squeal happily and sit up.
“Again! Again!” And leap back into his arms.
“No I was waitin’ for you guys, okay one more Eva then we gotta give Winnie her surprise yeah?” He asks and she nods happily.
“Okay, one…two…thrreee!!” He swings her between each count, hurling her carefully in to the bed on three and she laughs excitedly, standing up and jumping.
“Winnie come sit!” She said plopping down on her bum and bouncing at the force of the mattress, giggling as she did so.
“She slept most the way from the airport, so that’s why she’s a little wound up” Richie said, causing me to giggle.
I was so caught up in how fuckin cute Carmy was with Eva that I completely forgot why they were here in the first place.
“Okay nowww do I get my surprise?” I asked Carm, walking up and wrapping my arms loosely around his neck, looking up at him with big doe eyes.
“Yes baby but I think you should sit, yeah?” He gently nudges me to sit on the bed and I do so.
“Should I be scared?” I raise my eyebrow and Sadie laughs.
“No dude. Just listen” she crossed her arms as Carm took a white envelope out of his inner breast pocket, his first and last name written on the outside.
“So, honey” he sits next to me and offers the envelope. “I love you, so much. All I want is f’r you to be happy okay? I would go to the ends of the earth to make you happy. And I know that you’d do the same f’me…and I hope that this shows you, that I will always find a way to make what you want happen okay, every time.” He kisses my forehead tenderly and I pout at his words, cupping his cheeks and giving him a sweet kiss.
“You’re the best boyfriend ever, I love you” I said softly.
“Yuck” Eva said from behind us and I look at her.
“And You’re a stinky baby” I tease, poking her belly and she pouts
“Hey!” She crosses her arms and Richie chuckled.
“You’re yucky too Carmy” she pokes him in the back with her foot and he snorts.
“Open your gift Angel” he wraps his arm around me, his chin resting on my shoulder.
I gently pull open the envelope, taking out a stack of…concert tickets?
Taylor Swift - THE ERAS TOUR LIVE - Sponsored by Capital One With special Guests; BOYGENIUS & Sabrina Carpenter
ADMIT 1 FLRL R2 S13 Saturday, June 20, 2025 TICKETMASTER EVENT
Blood roars in my ears, my heart starts thumping so hard I can feel it in my stomach, my throat, everywhere. I flicked through the tickets, there were five. My jaw was basically on the floor, my stomach was doing flips, it felt as if I could pass out.
“Mmm? What’s Taylor say? We’re goin out T’night baby” he kisses my cheek and I look at him, tears pooling my eyes.
There were so many thoughts in my mind, I couldn’t even settle on one. I looked back at the tickets, sure they’d turn in to something else if I stared at them hard enough.
“Daddy..is Winnie ok she looks scared?” Eva whispered to Richie and I laughed and laughed, tears streaming down my face and I hug Carmen so tightly he actually groans a bit beneath my grasp.
“Fuck wow baby when did you get so strong?” He chuckled and I release him slightly.
“I don’t wanna scare people by screaming? I dunno what to do baby” I said, kissing his neck gently. “What am I even gonna wear?” I whisper and he wipes my cheeks
“No tears,” he said softly, kissing my forehead. “I don’t wanna get all w’rked up baby” he rubs my back soothingly.
I nod, wiping over my face. “I know, sorry, sorry. But I- I forgot my bodysuit what am I gonna do?” I said, my heart breaking. “W-were gonna be s’close and she won’t see it. I worked so hard Carmy” I said and he broke our hug, walking over to the closet and unzipping the black dress bag.
Revealing my blue bodysuit.
I squeal and run, jumping into his arms and kissing his face all over “and you’re coming with us?” I asked and he nods, smiling wide.
“I am and I can get all your videos, and pictures, and I can get your merch and everything baby you just have to enjoy the show” he said and I felt tears welling up behind my eyes again.
“You’re perfect.” I whispered and kissed him lovingly.
“Okay lovebirds” Sadie snaps her fingers. “We have a stadium to be at in” she looks at her Apple Watch. “4 hours if you wanna trade bracelets, and chop-chop if I’m curling your hair, Pooh” she tells me and I sniffle, wiping my face and getting down off him.
“Girls are gonna need the bathroom” I told him and he nods, rubbing my back gently.
“Course babe. Why don’t you guys have a little get ready party in here. Y’want me and Richie to go to the liquor store n’ stuff so you and Sadie can pregame?” He tucks my hair behind my ear sweetly.
I smile wide. “Carmen fucking Berzatto I fall in love with you more each second” I kiss him deeply, cupping his cheeks and stroking his fingers with my thumbs.
“Jesus Christ are they always like this? My god” Richie said
“Told you, yucky daddy.” Eva replied and I giggle
“Only every second of every day. I think I know this guys side profile more then his frontal because of how much they suck face” Sadie said, earning a laugh out of all 4 of us.
“Back” Carmen called as he came into the hotel room, knocking on the bathroom door.
“Come in!” I called over the music.
“Oh my goodness Richie who’s this young lady?” Carm said when he saw Evas hair that I’d already curled for her and pinned back with glittery barrettes that would match her outfit.
She giggled, “thank you! Daddy, look!! Winnie did my hair how Sadie will do hers!!” She stood up off the edge of the honeymoon tub, spinning so her curls would be shown off.
“Wooow look at you pumpkin! You are a little Taylor swift” he comes and picks her up.
“C’mon let’s go get you dressed, We’ll come back after you have some lunch” he told her and she pouted.
“I want drinks!” She said causing Sadie, Carm and I to laugh.
“Girl no it’s big kid drinks.” Sadie said, continuing on her makeup.
“Mmhmm that’s right, pipsqueak. We’re gonna see you again real soon yeah? And we’ll go to the concert together” I told her and she nodded.
“Bear” I said sweetly when the door closed after they left.
“Honey” he repeats, mimicking my tone causing me to giggle.
“Can you make Sadie and I some doubles, s’il te plaît?” (Please) I flutter my lashes at him adorably and he snorts.
“Y’know I love doin’ stuff for you baby, Y’don’t have to give me the theatrics every time” he pecks my lips and takes the bag clinking with bottles of alcohol into the bedroom.
“Mm but you always do it extra nice when I give you the sweet eyes” I called after him and he chuckled. I was sat with my feet in the sink, focused on my makeup as Sadie curled my hair when he came back with 3 glasses.
“Sorry, they didn’t have limes babe but I got lime juice” he set my glass next to me and another next to Sadie before sitting on the ledge of the tub and taking a sip of his.
“ ‘sokay” I said softly, focused on tightlining my eyes with the navy blue pencil liner.
“Doesn’t that hurt. Y’re like- poking your eye babe.” He said and I stopped, looking at him with a smile.
“Y’get used to it I guess. I wear contacts to you see the way I dig around my eyes” I said and he shivers at the thought.
“It’s fuckin’ weird babe I swear it really skeeves me out I’m afraid you’ll scratch your eye out with one of your claws” he said, causing me to giggle.
I took a sip of my drink and scrunch my nose. “Fuck Carm” I giggled. “Wow I’m gonna have to nurse that if I’m gonna be able to do my makeup” I laughed and he snorts a chuckle.
“Y’said you wanted it strong baby” he replied and I shake my head.
“I guess I did, gee I’m feelin the burn” I laugh, finishing up tightlining my eyes and starting my winged liner.
“Sweet like honey karma is a cat purrin in my lap cause it loves meee” Sadie sings along softly as she sprays my hair with hairspray.
“Flexin like a god damn acrobat me and karma vibe like that!!!” I finished for her and continued doing my makeup.
By the time we’d finished makeup and hair, I was happy tipsy, giggling in the bathroom as I attempted getting dressed on my own.
“Carm can you help? My nails keep getting stuck I don’t wanna rip these they’re the ones Taylor wears” I called through the door.
“Comin” he calls and a few moments later he pops the door open, laughing at my current state. In nothing but my bra and thong, tights pulled up to my thighs.
I giggle “stop it!! No you’re my boyfriend you can’t laugh at me it’s the law” I said and he shakes his head, coming over and carefully unrolling the bunched fabric.
“My goodness babe what the hell were you doin’ trying to get these things on? Ballin’ em up?” He teased, crouching down and gently unraveling up to the waistband.
“Yeah well kinda I got it over my feet perfect see- but then, my boobs were suffocating me from bending over- and I was getting sweaty and lightheaded and I don’t wanna ruin my makeup” I giggle and he grunted a little as he got up.
“The things I do for you.” He chuckled to himself, carefully pulling the tights up my thighs and smoothing them over my waist. “There. Now where’s your other pair the fishnets right?” He asked and I smiled big, he really pays attention when I tell him about my interests and my plans for things that are so important to me.
“Mmhmm..sparkly fishnets” I said “my legs are gonna look so long and so sexy” i giggled, sitting on the edge of the tub as I roll the fabric over my toes up to the knees and stood up. “Your turn” I said.
“I wouldn’t say long you’re not even 5 foot baby, but sexy” he kisses my knee and up my thigh as he dragged the fishnets up. “Absolutely” he said and looked up at me. I pouted, crossing my arms over my middle.
“Do you wish I was tall?” I asked and he laughs, a real, genuine Carmy giggly laugh.
“Baby oh my god. Are you all done with the drinks? Cause you gettin’ all mushy drunk on me? I tell you all the time how you’re the perfect size f’me” he pulls the fishnets over my bum, spanking me gently after he brought them up over my waist.
“No. I just…sometimes people look at me like I’m a kid cause the way I dress and I wanted to be sure it doesn’t embarrass you that I’m small” I look at the floor and he tilts my chin up to look at him.
“Baby. The only small thing about you- is your height. These?” He cups my breasts with his palms “these” he rubs his hands over my hips. “Especially, this” he spanks me with a smile, causing me to giggle. “All that is in no way small. And anyone who mistakes you for a kid is blind. “ He said running his hands up my waist. “Okay- guess y’got me, this” he squeezes “is tiny.” He pulls me in to him. “And when I’m fucking you from the back? Mmm… it’s the only reason I do it baby cause of how pretty this is” he squeezed again as he whispers in my ear, kissing my pulse point and my breath hitched.
“Ok- I believe you, I believe you- don’t get me worked up please” I kiss his lips. “Can you get my bodysuit?” I asked and he nodded, returning with it a few moments later and carefully unzips it.
“I can hold it for you babe” he said, holding it low so I could step in. I held on to his shoulder and did so, slipping in my arms and pulling it up over he got the first half on. “Hold your hair honey I don’t wanna zip it in” he brushed my hair over my shoulder and I held it back for him.
He zipped me up, hooking the zipper on the little zip lock and gently rubbing his hands up my sides. “Mmm a little red headed Taylor” he hummed, rubbing his hands over my stomach and lightly thumbing over the intricate beading that had taken me hundreds of hours.
I blushed, turning around and looking at myself in the mirror. I smiled wide, my red hair being more akin to fire against the twinkling royal blue. I felt like a fucking pop star.
“Holy shit I made this!” I said and he nodded proudly, admiring me and all my hard work.
“Y’did baby girl! It is so perfect. Dare I say, better then hers. Do you think she planned it to have segments of 13 beads?” He wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my forehead, looking me over in the mirror and I laugh.
“Oh the Queen of cryptic planning? Did she plan such a thing? Most likely. But thank you baby. Some spots are a little wonky….but overall I think it came out” I said and stepped away “Wait- we have to check the twirly” I said and shake my hips like Taylor, gasping at all the movement and shimmer.
“SADIE!” I call and she came over in her own bodysuit she’d made, akin to the Pink Lover bodysuit she opened the show in.
“Oh my god!!” We shriek at the same time, hugging eachother and jumping excitedly.
“You look so good Sadie!!” I laughed and she squeezed me tight.
“Dude oh my god!! She’s gonna fuckin see us she has to” she said and I laugh excitedly.
“Oh my godddd” I said clapping excitedly. “Okay c’mon c’mon shoes -“ I said and Sadie gasps.
“CARMEN! Oh my god!” She said and looked at him, he chuckles
“Sadie! What!” He smiled wide and she runs over to her suitcase, dropping to her knees and rifling through it.
She comes back a few moments later with a bag that she throws at his chest and he catches swiftly. “A thank you, well- not a proper one but…you guys need pictures” she said as he ripped the plastic open, taking out the white tshirt and laughing to himself before turning it around to show me
It was much like the tshirt she regularly wore, except this one had ‘KARMA’ in big black letters. I gasp excitedly looking at Sadie, “cause you’re my BOYFRIEND!” I giggle and kiss his lips sweetly.
“That I am baby. Well I’m glad it’s not just you guys to be all dressed up, Thank y’bug, really, that was super sweet” he said and I smiled big.
“ ‘dressed up’ if I knew you were going we’d have a couples costume babe” I go and grab my midnight blue sparkly boots that I’d also bejeweled myself and zip them up. “Am I giving vigilante shit?” I pose with my heel on the bedside chair and Sadie laughs.
“Yes dude you look fire.” She said, zipping up her own heels. “So do you!! I wish Syd would just give it up and become a Swiftie!! We’re gonna convert her by next tour, then we can all have sparkly outfits” I said confidently and Carm opens the bathroom door, coming out in his new shirt.
“It’s not a couples costume but it should do, right honey?” He teases and I smile big.
“Anything on you is made one million times sexier I’m not sure why I ever had a second thought.” I come up, my hands trailing under his shirt as I kissed him deeply. The door opens and I pulled away.
“I’m Fearless!” Eva said happily, bounding in wearing her brown cowgirl boots and golden fringe dress, shaking around to show us the movement and hugging my waist.
“And she needs a nap!” Richie mouthed, shutting the door and Carm snorts a laugh.
“What did you have for lunch pippy?” I picked her up, holding her on my good hip.
“We had pizza with pepperoni my favorite” she said, gently cupping my cheek.
“You look like Taylor!!” She said happily “all the sparkles are so prettyyy” she leans in, our foreheads touching “could I have some?” She whispers and I giggle.
“Of course pipsqueak. Here” I set her down on the bed and went over to my suitcase, rifling through my makeup bag and grabbing the same glitter gel I’d used and I come over, dabbing some on her cheeks.
“Carmy needs some too” she said with her eyes shut and I look at him over my shoulder, a blush splaying over his cheeks.
“N-no boys don’t- er- Carmy doesn’t need it” he said and I smile.
“Why not baby? We can all match yeah? It’d be cute. F’me, f’youre special honey” I gave him a pout and fluttered my lashes.
He sighed “fine.” He sits down next to Eva and I giggled.
“Carmy” Eva said and his eyes flutter shut as I dab the sparkles along his cheekbones.
“Mmhmm” he hummed in response.
“Why do you only listen to Winnie?” She asks curiously and Richie, Sadie and I bust up laughing together.
He looks at her. “Cause I’m big and I can choose who I do and don’t listen to kid.” He said, poking her arm and she giggled.
“Sugar says you’re still just a little baby” she teased and he snorts.
“Sugar is an instigator.” He told her as I plop in his lap with my drink.
“What’s an instigator?” She repeats
“Someone who starts stuff” I told her and smile a bit. “Like, your daddy always instigates the arguments about the front of the restaurant where he works” i leaned in and whispered to her, causing her to giggle.
“Hey! I do not” Richie said.
“Do. Absolutely you do.” Carmen said with a smirk.
“Yeah yeah alright cousin fuckin’ - let’s just go please. Load up in the car, Eva go potty” he told her and she jumped up running off to the bathroom. I finish off my drink and grabbed my purse, being sure I had everything.
“I have 2 portable chargers” I told Sadie.
“Perfecto, I got 3. We should be good” she nods, zipping her purse back up.
By the time we’d gotten to the stadium, (a very quiet ride because Eva had to take a nap or would be a terror most the night) Sadie and I were practically bursting with excitement.
“Evaaa!” I whisper, gently rubbing her arm. “Guess where we are?” I said and she opens her eyes, looking up and squealing when she sees the stadium.
���WERE GONNA SEE TAYLOR!!!” She squealed.
“Yaassss! Taylorrrr!” Sadie said opening up her door and helping her unbuckle. Carm helped me put my heels on since I knew if I wore them the whole time in the car my hip would hurt before we even got in the stadium.
“Now, only rule- y’tell me when y’re hurtin’, got it?” he whispered in my ear and I look up at him, nodding.
“Promise, I’ll sit down if I start hurting” I said and pucker my lips for a kiss. He obliges before grabbing my purse from the car.
“Y’wanna hold it or want me to babe?” he asked.
“Uhmmm, can you for now and then when I run out of bracelets i’ll take it?” I ask and he nods, holding my hand and lacing our fingers.
“Sounds good t’me baby” he said, and we all started the long walk to the stadium entrance.
“Christ cousin- could you have picked a further spot? Y’know how it is with her and walkin’, were gonna be standing all night, jagoff” Carm complains and I nudge him.
“You know what?! You should’ve driven then, Mister fuckin New York, bet you’d have found the bessttt spot right?” he shoots back.
“Stop!” I flick the back of his head, “And stop” I kiss Carmys cheek gently, “We’re having fun t’night, I promised bear, I’ll tell you if i’m hurting” I said and Richie shoots me a glare.
“So I get a flick, he gets a kiss?! F’startin’ it?!” he complains and I giggle with a shrug.
“Cousin treatment I guess, er-brother? I dunno, all of our family dynamics are all fucked up” I said.
“Winnie thats a bad word” Eva looks up at me.
“It is a bad word, but sometimes- mmm… listen to your daddy, but I think, cause i’m a grown up and I dont have to listen to my mommy or daddy anymore, - sometimes, bad words can be used to describe bad things. And my family, isn’t very good.” I shrug and she nods.
“I think multiplication homework is all fucked up” she said and Carm, Sadie and I howl with laughter.
“Ayyyy!!!! No! No- not allowed that word ‘till y’re like 13 kid, that was y’re one pass, y’mother is gonna fuc- flipping- kill me if she hears that comin’ from y’mouth” he pats her head gently.
“Mommy says you and Cousin Carmy are bad influences for me, what does that mean?” She looks up at him and he rolls his eyes.
“It means that your mommy is telling you things that are none of your business. When she tells you those things, just say nicely “I dont think thats my business mommy” “ I told her and Carm squeezes my hand assuringly.
We get up to the entrance and I was practically dancing with anticipation, I couldn’t stay still. “Sadie” I said and she looks over “I’m like-” I shake my hands “Like- too excited, it’s too loud, too many people- can we play hands?” I asked , it was a game we’d develouped since we’d both seemed to absorb way too much nervous, excited energy while around crowds like this, where we’d both stand about a foot away from eachother, and push our hands together until one of our feet moved, and the person who remained still would be the winner.
She frowns, “Sorry dude, my hand- remember?” she said and I sighed, nodding and crossing my arms over my middle, squeezing my waist- trying to find any semblance of grounding I could.
Sadie had broken her hand at work a while ago, and needed some kind of tendon surgery to fix it- so playing hands wasn’t really an option for her since it wasn’t good for her to put pressure on it.
“Whats hands?” Carm asks, wrapping his arm around me- and for whatever reason the material of this shirt was making me cringe right now.
“Agh-” I step away, rubbing over my arm where the fabric brushed me. “Sorry.. Sorry- we haven’t washed it yet” I said and he looks down.
“My shirt? ‘M sorry baby, it’s buggin you?” he asked and I shook my head.
“I-it wasn’t i’m just…it’s s’much and I love it but ‘m just…I dunno- hands is a game we like, hold up your hands like this” I show him and he copies.
“I cant win y’re too strong so just let me push on you” I said and he nods.
“Push away baby” he smiled a bit and I connected our palms, putting all of my strength into pushing him but of course he didnt budge, he had a little less then a foot and a bit more then 100 pounds on me, so that was to be expected. But the relief of focusing all my energy in to somewhat of a physical release had the same effect.
I gave him a hug when my arms felt like Jelly and rest my cheek on his chest. “Can y’cover my ear so it’s more quiet” I asked him and he nodded, gently covering up my exposed ear with his hand and kissing the top of my head sweetly. I closed my eyes, sighing as I felt a sense of relief flood my senses at the much more dulled noise. “Thank you” I mumble and he rubbed my back gently with is other hand.
About 10 minutes later when the line finally started moving, I’d felt much better and way more regulated. “M’ better, thank you Bear” I told him, puckering my lips.
“Any time angel, y’know I brought your airpods f’you, right? In case you wanted to listen to music in the car? They’re charged, they have the noise cancellation thing on them” he said and my mouth drops.
“Carmen” I said in shock.
“What?!” He chuckles, digging in his pockets and pulling out my pink airpods case.
“You are the most thoughtful man in the god damn world baby, how did I get so fuckin’ lucky? I didn’t even think of the noise cancellation, y’re so fuckin smart, Bear” I cupped his cheeks, pulling him down for a deep loving kiss.
He pulled away, quicker then I would like, but I still knew he’s a bit shy when it comes to showing love in public. His cheeks were bright pink, and a smile danced on his lips.
“Totally not, but f’some reason I guess you bring the thoughtfulness outta me” he said, slipping the case back in his jeans pocket. I linked our arms together and he got the tickets ready, and Sadie taps both our shoulders suddenly.
We looked back at her, seeing she was holding her phone up “Cheese lovebirds!” She chirps and I smile wide, Carm leans in and kisses my cheek sweetly. “I’m convinced you don’t want Syd and I’s family seeing your face, Carmen” she teases and I giggle, smushing his cheeks and holding his face towards the camera, laughing
“Get it Sadie!! Quick!” I said and she clicked the button a few times.
“Perfect got one not blurry one with a smile, thanks Pooh” she slips her phone in her pocket. We got up to the gate and Carm hands the woman scanning our tickets.
“Us five” he motions to us and she nodded, scanning them all. “Enjoy the show, bag check’s up at the doors” she said, handing the tickets back and he put them back in the envelope, and back in my purse securely before we continued on.
“Alright baby so you guys go do your bracelets, Richie, Eva and I are gonna wait for y’re shirts n’ stuff, d’you want drink money?” He asks and I shake my head.
“No sugardaddy i’m fine” I teased, giving him a peck on the lips. “I love you, see you in like 30- er 45 ok? We’ll meet- “ I look over near the doors to see there was a little garden section with a smokers area. “Perfect! Smoke garden there” I point and he nods.
“I love you, be safe yeah? Call me f’r anything y’need” he held my waist securely, waiting for a response.
“Yessss Carmy!” I giggled, “Were amongst friends here, you’ll see everyone is so super nice” I link my arm in Sadies, heading off to meet new fans.
“Oh my god you girls look awesome can my daughter take a picture with the two of you?” a blonde woman asks Sadie and I, I smiled wide - this was not the first time tonight we’d gotten that. Our outfits were an absolute hit tonight.
“Why of course! Would the two of you like to trade bracelets?” I asked, getting down to the level of the miniature copy of the mother, offering her a “Evermore” bracelet in my hand, adorned with maroon, green and brown beads.
“Yes please” she said shyly, taking one of the bracelets off her wrist that were much oversized and handing one to me then to Sadie, to which she put a “Karma” bracelet in her hand in return. As we were ending the conversation, Sadie opens her purse, handing over my phone.
“Carmen” she told me.
“Sorry ladies- it was so nice talking, my boyfriend is trying to get ahold of us- have a fabulous time” I told them and slid to answer, not even remembering to checking the time.
“Baby! We just got to the garden, where are you, you alright?” He said. I smile a bit, looking over about 100 paces to my right seeing him standing there, in the smokers garden holding the phone to one ear and a cigarette in the other, taking a drag as he waited for my response.
“Bear” I giggle “Look - mmm- 2 oclock?” I said and he turns the opposite way. “Y’know, f’r a guy thats obsessed with time, y’re shit at finding someone on the clock analogy” I teased and he turned the other way, the setting June sun allowing him to find me and Sadie nearly immediately from the sunlight bouncing off our outfits.
“Jesus dunno how I missed you guys y’re like fuckin bottles of glitter” he chuckled and I hung up, grabbing Sadies arm and leading her over to him.
“Thank you” I replied when I got up to him, kissing his cheek. “Carmen” I said, looking at the four bags of merch sitting on the table. His cheeks heat slightly.
“Okay- babe, listen, s’you told me y’wanted that crewneck, and the tshirt, but I f’rgot which t’shirt and I was not waiting in that line again for another hour and a half - so- so I just got like…one of everything - and I also got one for Sadie- perfectly reasonable a-and I got Eva some extra stuff too. But- s’you…just-just chill out here, and i’m gonna go bring this stuff t’the car with Richie.” he said and I laugh.
“Bear! Oh my god- no more gifts until my birthday!” I told him and he chuckled, picking up two of the bags. “Can’t promise anything like that baby, call me if-” I finished for him.
“We need anything” I kissed his lips sweetly. “Thank y’Carmy, really, y’didn’t have to go all out like this - I’ll…” I took a deep breath, trying to contain my emotions. “I’ll never forget this, baby” I said softly, doing everything in my power to hold the tears back.
“I know you wont, angel. I love you” he kissed my forehead sweetly and he and went off with Richie. I sat down immediately after they left, my hip was already starting to feel tight due to the heels and all the up and down crouching to meet little fans.
“Ooo Eva! Look another little girl in a Fearless dress! Y’wanna go give her a Fearless bracelet?” Sadie asks her and she nods excitedly, holding her hand as they walked over. I watched them, smiling as I did so- taking everything in.
By the time Carm and Richie had gotten back, Sadie and I were once again tipsy off of the drinks she’d ran and gotten us from the bar truck, and I had been smart enough to sneak in some shots in my bra to give them the extra kick. She’d even gotten Eva a virgin one of her own in the same fancy disposable cup, so she wouldnt feel left out.
“Fuck you walk fast” Richie says, plopping down in the seat across from me at the little patio table we’d claimed, panting.
“You walk slow as shit Cousin” Carm pats my shoulder for me to get up and sit in his lap, for which I was very grateful- because even through the alcohol my hip began throbbing from sitting on the hard metal chair.
I get up, taking my spot in his comfortable lap and sighing in relief. He digs out a cigarette from his jacket pocket he’d put on, lighting one between his lips. The sun had already went down most of the way and the 60 degree weather, which was cold to me- wasn’t going to do anything good for my hip. “Did y’bring mine?” I ask him quietly.
“Y’re prerolls baby? I brought 3 f’you, you hurtin’ already?” he asks after he took a drag. I bit the inside of my lip gently and shrug, looking at my lap. “Alright no more bracelets, I want y’to be able to enjoy y’rself baby, here” he hands me his cigarette to hold for him while he dug my preroll out of his pocket, lighting it for me before we switched. I leaned against his chest, taking a drag and blowing it away from the table.
“Thank y’for remembering, Bear” I said softly and he wrapped his arm around my waist securely, rubbing my good hip gently.
“Course angel” He mutters and kisses my shoulder before having another drag of his cigarette.
By the time I finished my preroll, I was feeling much better, the pain was mostly non-existant and would stay that way for hopefully a few hours. I finished the rest of my drink on the way in to bag check, chucking the disposable cup with Taylors name on it in the garbage.
By the time we’d gotten to our seats Sadie, Eva and I were balls of excitement. The view of the stage was insane. Sadie and I were in the upper bowl last time, so seeing how really big the stage was, was crazy. My head - Carms head, wouldnt even hit the top of it, which told me that it had to be taller then 6 feet. “Y’know” I said, to Carm, “I don’t know why I thought the stage would be…shorter? But Taylor wears 6 inch heels, so shes 6’5? 6’6 in her shoes? So to get around under there-”
“Six fucking foot?!” he exclaimed, eyes wide. I laughed at his surprise.
“Yaaas! 6 foot tall amazonian goddess” I giggle and he raised his eyebrows.
“Shit I knew she was tall but when I met ‘er the other-” he slaps his hand over his mouth, and my eyes nearly bulge out of my head, and Richie and Sadies head snap in his direction.
“You WHAT?!”
“YOU MET WHO!?”
“BEAR WHAT”
Sadie, Richie and I all spoke at once and he shakes his head. “No- Like- no” he laughs nervously, shaking his head. “No not what I meant- I meant if y’know like if I met ‘er” he said, and I knew he was lying through his teeth.
“Did you meet Taylor Alison Swift, yes or no- if you lie, I will never let you touch me again” I said, staring into his very soul. It only took about 3 seconds for him to crack.
“Itwasonlyf’rlike3minutesandshegavemetheticketscauseherboyfriendlikesitalianfood” he blurted out and my eyes widen.
“No - no- Carmen. You MET HER?!” I said and he gives me a shy nervous smile.
“Mmmhmm..but like- 2 seconds babe- and- yeah shes fuckin huge- like- so tall” he said and I shook my head.
“What did you say to her- go, in your brain- now - because I know you have a fucking photographic memory, and tell me what transpired, Carmen. Tell me” I squeeze his wrist in anticipation and he sighed.
“That- that you really wanted t’come here, and that you love her music, and that- that she reminds me of a cat? And she laughed! I made her laugh babe” he said smiling bigger.
My jaw drops once more “SADIE” I lean over, looking at her. “Do you know what this MEANS?! TAYLOR Thinks MY Boyfriend is FUNNY! That means…that means- she likes what I like…so- oh my god- we’d totally be friends- Carm likes you, Carm likes me- She liked Carm, She likes us!!!” I said excitedly and Sadie nods with a big smile.
“We are so delulu” she said, laughing and Carm chuckles.
“The hell is delulu?” He questions and I laughed.
“Delusional my lovely old man” I peck his lips gently and he shakes his head with a smile.
I had forced myself to sit suring the BOYGENIUS set, even though I did quite enjoy them, I had to save my energy for Taylor. I made a bit of an acception for Sabrina though, since Sadie and I hadn’t seen her before, and her stage presence was so magnetic that we just couldn’t help but get up and dance.
When the clock came on the screen, Richie, Sadie, Eva and I shot up out of our seats and Carm got the hint as well. “Alright baby whats happening” He asked and I giggle, jumping like a kid on Christmas with excitement.
“The QUEEN is about to come out!” I said in his ear over the screaming and looked back to the screen, my hands coming to my mouth in anticipation.
At the sound of the first ‘It’s been a long time comin’ Sadie, Eva, Richie and I scream.
“FUCK YEAHHH!!!” Richie whoops, causing me to giggle. I held Sadies hand tightly as the dancers come out with the breathtaking watercolor shell like billowing tapestries, bowing at the front of the stage over where Taylor comes out.
Carm leans over, “What’s with the flags baby?” he asked in my ear.
I gently rest my hand on my cheek, he crouches down slightly so I could hear him. “Its the birth of Venus, the analogy” I told him and he nods. I let go of his hand as the beginning sequence ended putting my hands on top of my head, completely unsure how to cage the all-consuming surge of emotions coursing through my veins.
‘It’s been a long time comin’ but- Its you and me- Thats my whole world! They whisper in the hallway ‘shes a bad bad girl’ Okay! The whole school is rollin’ fake dice, you play stupid games you win stupid prizes!’
Sadie, Richie, Eva and I go nuts, scream singing every word, dancing and jumping. I didnt even realize I was crying until I felt Carm’s hand around my waist, leaning down and saying in my ear, “Havin’ fun honey?”
I looked up to him, Smiling huge “THE MOST FUN EVER! I LOVE YOU!!!” I shout loud enough for him to hear, kissing his lips lovingly before continuing to watch. Sadie and I dance and sing and scream for the rest of Miss Americana, and when It got to the Cruel Summer bridge, the whole stadium was buzzing with excitement.
“Alright New York City!” Taylor says and everyone screams in response. “We have arrived, at the very first bridge this evening- And you may know this is my only show in this beautiful city that is my home away from home- So I want you to scream it!!! Lets Go!!” and scream it Sadie, Eva, Richie and I do.
During Lover, Carm sweetly held me as we swayed and listened, his arms wrapped around my waist and I rested my head against his chest, soaking in the sweetness of the moment. And of course, during The Archer, her comforted me while I cried because of how much the song meant for me and my anxiety problems, kissing my forehead and gently wiping my tears.
During Fearless Eva spun in the isle while Taylor did, and I could’ve sworn Taylor saw her by the kiss she blew in our direction between verses - but all of my intuition was shown to be right, because during the ‘Enchanted’ era, A woman in a black tshirt and black pants comes up to our isle, walking infront of me and Carm down to Richie and Evas seat, and whispers something in Richies ear, to which he nods very quickly, before leaning down and whispering something in Evas ear and she jumps up and down, until the woman in the black shirt whispers something else in her ear and she very quickly calmed down, nodding obediently and taking the womans hand.
Sadie gives me wide eyes as shes taken with the woman and stands up with the woman where the barricade is. “What’s goin on with Eva?” Carm asks in my ear.
It took everything in me to not burst in to tears knowing how much this was going to mean to Eva. “Shes gonna get the hat!” I told him and his eyes widen.
“During- during 22?” He asked and I nod excitedly. He got his phone out, ready to record. When the time came, Eva was brought to sit on a platform right in front of the stage, and was sitting on her knees as she patiently waited, wiggling around to the song.
Richie right behind her at the barricade in the isle, recording the whole interaction, and Sadie and I sing and dance to the song, relishing in the pure enchantment on Eva’s face as Taylor kneels in front of her, trading bracelets with her before putting the hat on her head and brushing the rim playfully and getting up to continue singing. As soon as the security lifted Eva back over the barricate, she sprints in to Richies arms, and he picks her up, spinning her around and kissing her cheek.
“Oh my godddd!” I said my heart melting at the sight and Carm stops filming, I look up to see a few stray tears wetting his cheeks as well.
“Ohhhh my sweet bear” I said, rubbing his chest gently.
“Holy fuck! Look at that!!” Richie said as he comes back to their seats. Eva bounces all around, a whole new fire to her energy.
School on Monday is gonna be epic for her surely.
During All Too Well ten minute version, Carm and I decided to sit and have some water to let my hip get some much needed rest for a little bit. He wrapped his arm around me, leaning back in his seat and running a hand through his hair, yawning. “Tired?” I ask and he nodded a bit.
“I didn’t think I would be t’be honest, y’know how late we stay up, think I just need a cigarette if ‘m honest” he said and I nodded. I rest my head on his shoulder, continuing to watch Taylor infront of us.
Thankfully, the Folklore era was next, which wasn’t too much of a dancey album- so we all got to sit for 20 minutes through all too well, and betty, which was very nice that we had some time to recharge, especially since after this era, 1989 era was next, which Sadie and I were both huge fans of. I sat up for The Last Great American Dynasty though, Screaming along with Sadie,
“There goes THE LOUDEST WOMAN THIS TOWN HAS EVER SEEN!!!” as did the majority of the crowd.
I held Carms hand during August, resting my head on his shoulder once more and he gives me a kiss on the forehead. “Is- is she barefoot babe?” he asks in my ear and I laughed, looking up at him.
“No silly- shes wearing ballet slippers? Like what ballerinas wear before they go on pointe?” I said and he nods.
“Ahhh” he said and chuckled a bit. “S’rry they’re so close to her skin color” he said and I shook my head, giggling.
Standing up right away with Sadie and Eva when she came over to our side to wave and waving at her excitedly, blowing kisses and holding up hearts. She smiles big and waves back at us that had to be for us- shes looking right at us.
Sadie and I jump and scream, remaining standing since she walked down the whole length of the stage, and we would get insane videos and pictures since she was going to stopping right in front of us or the majority of the song.
It took my breath away, when she stopped, belting the bridge, and dropping to her knees right in front of us on the stage. ‘And I can go anywhere I want, Anywhere I want, just not home. And you can aim for my heart, go for blood. But you would still miss me in your bones. And I still talk to you - when I'm screaming at the sky, And when you can't sleep at night - you hear my stolen lullabies. I didn't have it in myself to go with grace and so the battleships will sink beneath the waves’ She stood up, her white gown flowing like angel wings as she spun around and began her decent back down the stage.
I wiped the tears streaming down my face from the touching performance, shaking my hands and rolling my shoulders when she song was over. Carm kisses my temple, “Y’happy angel?” He asked, and I look up at him as if he got me the moon on a fucking string.
“Happy? I’m…fuckin elated, baby- I cant even digest how happy I am right now” I laugh and pulled him in to a sweet kiss.
We all sang and dance along to 1989, Carm being very proud of himself for knowing all the words- probably since they were so popular when he was living in New York, and he’d told me once while watching this era during the movie for the 50 millionth time, that alot of the songs they “played to death” in the restaurants he worked.
It was so fuckin fun to watch him fully let loose, and dance with me, sing with me, not a speck of shyness to be found. It just turned up my fire to 100, giving me a whole new love for this album.
“And to the fella over there with the hella good hair Won't you come on over, baby? We can shake, shake, shake” I sang along, ruffling Carm’s messy curls and he laughs, kissing me sweetly before the beat dropped again and I started bouncing and happily dancing again.
At the beginning of Bad blood, I tap him and he leans in “ ‘sup baby?” he asks.
“When she says ‘If you live like that, you live with ghosts’ f’r the first time, you gotta screeeeam ‘you forgive, you forget, but you never let it go’- ok?” I told him and he nods, giving me a thumbs up.
“Got it” he said and I giggled happily, turning my attention back to the stage. When she sang it, without fail, Carm shouted along with Me, Sadie, Richie and Eva as promised and Richie slaps his back approvingly.
“Fuck yeahhh cousin!! You study?” He teased and Carm shook his head.
“No need,” he wraps his arm around me. “ Got a professional w’me most the time” he kissed my head and I laughed, resting my head on his shoulder lovingly.
When Taylor came out in her red surprise song dress, I held Carms hand, screaming excitedly.
“Hellooooo” she said adorably, strumming her guitar. “So- you’ve made it to the acoustic set, if you didn’t know, every show I sing a few different songs from my catalog cause, y’can only fit so much into a concert- and I’ve been told i’ve released an ungodly amount of albums” she giggles, getting a ton of laughs from the crowd of course, we all fuckin’ adore her.
“So tonight, I usually only take requests from friends, but I got this request the other day- and the songs actually sounded like they’d go cute together, and y’guys know me, of course i’ll spice em up for you a little” she said and started the opening chords.
“The way you move is like a full on rainstorm, and I’m a house of cards, you’re the kinda wreckless that should send me runnin’ but I kinda know that I wont get far” She sings, and I couldn’t contain it anymore- I burst into tears. This song means so much to me, the amount of times Chris and I listened to this song together- it was his favorite Taylor song, which led it to become my favorite song of hers after he passed.
Carm rubs my arm gently, holding me to his chest and squeezing me gently. “I love you” he said in my ear and kisses my temple. I took a shaking breath, not even able to respond as this was the first time i’d heard this song live before, and all I could imagine was how much Chris would’ve loved this show.
I lean in to him, watching the stage, and once Sadie realizes what was happening, she wraps her arms around me as well, resting her head on my shoulder. “He’s probably here, y’know, spiteful fuck wouldn’t come here in the afterlife unless you were with ‘em right? So lets party with em, not cry” Sadie said in my ear and I smiled, looking over at her.
“Have I told you you’re the bestest friend and my fuckin platonic soulmate?” I told her and she giggles, wiping my tears.
“Yes, I believe once or twice, and you’re mine - now are we gonna cry during the bridge? Or are we gonna lose our fucking minds?” she asked and I nodded, holding her hand and sniffling, finding my composure once more. There would be loads of time to digest this and cry about it later on, for now I want to live in this beautiful, happy moment.
“I run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild!! Just keep on keepin’ your eyes on me, It's just wrong enough to make it feel right!” we held hands, dancing and laughing and singing. It truly was magical.
But I was awestruck when instead of finishing the bridge, she slips in to Mine instead, Carm and I’s song, the song that reminded me so much of him. I look at him, jaw dropped as she sings.
“Brace myself for the goodbye, cause it’s all i’ve ever known, but you took me by surprise- you said ‘I’ll never leave you alone..’ “ before slipping right back in to sparks fly, “Drop everything now, meet me in the pourin’ rain, kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain” and going back to Mine again, “He said ‘I remember how it felt sittin’ by the water, and every time I look at you it’s like the first time.” and going back again to sparks fly, “So get me with those green eyes baby as the lights go down give me somethin’ that’ll haunt me when i’m not around, cause i’ve seen sparks fly whenever you smile” before switching back again, “You made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter you are the best thing, thats ever been mine. Do you believe it? And the sparks fly”
I hugged him tightly, sobbing in to his chest. He doesnt know how much this means to me. For us to be here, together tonight, and for her to play 2 of the most important songs to me, the songs that remind me of the two people I love most - It was borderline overwhelming.
For the next song per usual she sat down at her piano, and without another speech, started playing the opening chords of Evermore and Sadie and I lost it, screaming ferally with the rest of the stadium once we realized which song it was.
Carm laughs at our excitement, rubbing my back. “S’did she pick good ones t’night?” he asked in my ear. I look up at him, everything clicking in to place for how he planned every single thing about this night.
I shook my head, laughing and pulling him to me. “You have unlimited head, for the rest of our lives” I told him and he laughed, kissing my cheek gently.
“I wont say no to that- if y’re offerin” he mused, patting my bum gently. I kiss him again and again, wrapping my arm around his middle and resting my head on his chest, hugging him tightly.
“I love you” I said and kissed his neck sweetly. He brushed my sweaty curls from my forehead, gently stroking my cheek with his forefinger.
“I love you baby, s’much, endlessly” he said and kissed my lips once more.
I rested in to him as he held me from behind, “This ones sad babe..but what the hell does unmoored mean?” he said in my ear and I giggle, Looking up at him.
“A mooring is where ships are docked during a storm, baby, if your ships unmoored- y’re fucked” I told him and he raised his eyebrows, nodding and continuing to listen along intently.
He wraps his arms around me securely, resting his chin atop my head, and I’d never felt safer, more secure, more loved, and thought of, and listened to then I did in this moment. Hot tears stream down my cheeks but a huge smile was still plastered on my face. My entire chest felt warm, like I could explode with all of the love that was coursing through me, I felt like I was literally glowing.
When the song finished, I look up at him with a small sad pout. “Only one more era… then it’s all done” I said a bit sadly and he chuckles.
“Only one more baby? Your voice is already gone, I don’t think we could do anymore after it’s over” he said and kisses my forehead, wiping the residual tears from my cheeks and eyes. I giggled a bit.
“Sorry, I know my voice probably sounds annoying” I said and clear my throat, it did feel really raw, and sore as well. I was probably not gonna have much of a voice for a good few days.
He furrowed his eyebrows, “Baby, you could never annoy me, it’s cute - it shows you had alot of fun” he said, rubbing my hip gently.
I lean in, kissing his lips gently before the beginning of Lavender Haze started and Sadie and I go nuts, - Richie just pumps his fist, as he was now holding a sleeping Eva in his arms and I pout, grabbing my phone and taking a photo before turning my attention back to the stage.
During Vigilante Shit, Carm leans down and says in my ear, “Y’gonna dance f’me like that in your pretty outfit baby?” he asked and I felt butterflies swarming in my stomach, if my cheeks werent already flushed from moving around so much i’d be blushing like mad.
“If you can handle it- we havent even got to the good part yet” I teased, kissing his jaw gently and he kissed my lips hungrily.
“T’morrow, i’m cashin in on one of those tickets f’head mentioned earlier, and y’re wearin’ that” he told me and I look up at him, a pesky smirk on my lips and I raised my eyebrows surprised at his boldness.
“Someones in a mood” I giggled and peck his lips before turning my attention back to the stage.
During Bejewled when Taylor came to the end of the stage shaking her hips to show off her fringe, I stepped in the isle, jumping and waving to try and get her attention and shook my hips, mirroring her. She smiled wide and pointed at me before she said her little ‘Nice!’ waving in my direction and I’m glad Carm had followed me in to the isle because when she walked away my knees nearly buckled under me.
Sadie came over, jumping in excitement and patting my arm excitedly, “DUDE!!! DUDDEEEE!!! SHE SAID HIII!!!” She laughed and hugs me tight and we bounced and jumped and sang the rest of the whole song, nothing could’ve brought me down in that moment.
We danced and sang to Mastermind, and when she came out with her Rainbow jacket, I point at her, tugging Carms sleeve and he leans down to hear me.
“I lied!!! If you can find one of those rainbow jackets for a reasonable price- I’ll accept” I told him and he laughs, nodding and giving me a thumbs up.
“I’ll try t’find one f’you princess, promise” He kissed my temple.
Carm and I danced hand in hand to Karma together, singing every lyric, him knowing them all since i’d listened to it so often with him around, and it was one of her more repetitive songs after all, pointing to him when we’d sing, ‘Karma is my boyfriend’, dancing, jumping around, laughing, fully enjoying ourselves. We all needed this.
When the song ended, and Taylor was thanking her band and dancers, a man with a stage headset wearing black jeans and a black shirt, similar to the woman who collected Eva, came down the row, stopping at Carm and saying something in his ear.
He looks back at them, a confused look on his face, “Who? I don’t know anyone in there-” he said and the man leaned in again, saying something else in his ear and Carm’s eyebrows raised in surprise. He looked at me before back at the man. “Okay- but i’m takin’ her.” he said, pointing to me, and the man shook his head.
“Just you-” he replied over the music and Carm shakes his head in response.
“Tell ‘em I said where I go, she goes, so he can fuck all the way off if she can’t come with” he said and the man shrugged, walking off again.
“What was that?” I asked him over the music.
“Travis Kelce wanted t’talk t’me? But the douche said only I could go, ‘mnot doin’ that” he shook his head, resuming clapping and cheering with the rest of the crowd. My jaw drops and I hit his arm gently.
“Babe! What the hell? No!!! Go over there!!! Do you know how much business it would bring if he talked about The Bear on his podcast?” I asked and he shrugs in response.
“Don’t care, I need y’with me babe. I can’t talk t’him without you, Taylor will probably be there- I can’t just…go meet her without you, thats fucked” he said and I pout, hugging his arm and the same man comes over again.
“Alright, but just you, and her, no one else” he explained and Carm nods, grabbing his jacket from the chair and lacing our fingers together as we followed. I felt my heart racing. So hard that I felt my pulse in my throat, it was taking everything in me to just pay attention to each step and not stumble over my own feet.
We’re led to a white tent, various famous people standing about, but the tallest person there also- seemingly the biggest personality in the room, had invited us. “Yoooooo there he is! Bro- wassup!” he comes over, giving Carm a guy hug, patting his back firmly.
“Y’guys like the show? Fuckin’ crazy shit right!!” he said. His voice was booming, and I thought Carmy was loud- even he wouldn’t win in a screaming match with this guy.
“Yeah, really awesome she puts on a fantastic show, Nice t’meet you I’m Carmen- everyone usually just calls me Carm though, and this is my girl, Winnie” he said and I smiled nervously, giving a small wave. I literally could find no words to say to this man, I felt everything I said would make it back to Taylor and I’d end up embarrassing myself.
“Winnie!! Cool like the bear? Sick name, that outfits firreee girl! Where’d you get it?” he asks and my eyes widen and I looked down at my outfit and back at him, my cheeks going red.
“Uh- I-I made it?” I said in awe that he recognized anything at all about me. Mostly the fact that he was a guy, a football jock at that, but also - he is dating the most beautiful, sought after women in the world at the moment.
“Whaaat?! Shit!! You Swifties are crazy Taylor’s gonna love that she should be-”
“TRAVYYYY” we heard and I spun around so fast I thought my head may fly off to see Taylor fucking SWIFT barreling up to her boyfriend, and jumping into his arms- wrapping herself around him the same way I did with Bear. My grip on his arm tightened and I look up at him like an absolute deer in headlights.
“C’mon- go say hi princess, shes really nice” he whispers in my ear.
“Thereee she is, you did so amazing honey!” Travis told her, spinning her around causing her to laugh excitedly.
“Oh my god- Heyyy Chef! Did Travis drag you over here?” she asked, hopping down from his arms and Carm chuckled a bit.
“Hardly dragged, but uh yeah- great- awesome show, still stand by what I said about the cat thing, though” Carm said with one of his teasing grins and I just look between them, in utter shock. He was playing around with her?!
She laughed, turning to Travis “Trav- he told me that I remind him of his cat during tolerate it, y’know I was thinking about that the whole song” she said and Travis chuckles.
“Thats the highest compliment you could’ve given her. Her and cats is somethin’ else. But- look babe” he told her and motions to my outfit.
“T she made that” he said and my heart was thumping so hard it felt like it would fly out of my chest. I felt so small in front of her, both physically and emotionally. I was unsure why I felt this way, the love I had for the woman in front of me was unreal, but there was like a…mental block? Anything i’d ever wanted to tell her had slipped my mind, and my whole brain was dark and empty.
“Oh my GOD no way! Crazy holy shit” she said coming over and running her fingers over the beads. Carm nudges me gently, urging me to talk to her.
“Tell her baby, about all the beads” he said and I swallow thickly, nodding.
“I-um- Hi I-im Winnie..it’s like- This is crazy I-wow… um - so- so see um…they're in clusters of 13 and 7 alternating, a-and.. There are 89…rows, um each- each section. S-so like this panel and the back one a-and then, I didn’t plan it, but each um..each big bead it ended up being perfect if I secured them 13 times, s-so they’d like stick up how y’rs do” I rambled nervously and she leaned in, looking closer.
“Wow” she whispered, “This is sick- you’re a professional then?” she stood up straight, towering over me once more and I looked up at her.
“Um” I manage to get out.
“She could be- she spent…what was it babe? 450 hours on this? And y’took that sewing class, and that rhinestone class and everything?” Carm encourages, it’s not supposed to be him who’s the talker. He’s probably panicking right now and i’m gonna be the reason for a panic attack when we got out of here.
“Yeah! Mmmhmm- and y’re like- wow Taylor” my sudden realization such a high stakes social situation would absolutely be freaking him out. “I- like- I’ve been such a fan of your art since like- Middle School- I- I couldn’t see you until I was older cause’- y’know, life gets in the way, but- last year I got this-” I paused, pulling up my hair and showing her the little mirrorball script tattoo on the back of my neck.
She gasped, running her finger over it gently, and even though I was hot, goosebumps still rose on my flesh. “ Wow “ she said softly. “Thats…thats so pretty…I love the grey its so delicate and pretty” she said.
I turned to her again, smiling big and taking her hands. “Thats how I am about everything you accomplish - just, Wowed everything you do, everything you are- like- you’ll be in the history books- there are so many things about you and your career that are like- just..like-” I laugh, shaking my head. “How do you do it? I know thats like… a stupid question? But like- It’s…like insanity” I said and she laughs a bit, nodding.
“Thank you! Honestly I-I don’t…really know? Alot of times…Like- I can tell we’re not too far apart in age just by how you carry yourself and stuff and… hearing you listened to me in middle school- it’s like- crazy because I’ve lived one million lives since then…I guess thats how? But really..it means alot that my art means alot to you, and i’m so grateful that you came. The tattoo is so pretty, also- your name is just like…Adorable” she squeezed my hands and I felt tears welling up behind my eyes.
“I’m so sorry to be a freak and cry, you’re just, so special, like- not in a fan way- in a human way. You-” I took a deep breath. “You are a light, a beacon for so so many young women, Taylor. And you have been for so long - and you will only get better, you have proved that. Like- i’m not sure if some guy really told you your aura was moonstone, but it truly is, you just sparkle, and - you like…are just- Thank you, for being you, and thank you for being so raw in your music, and just…thank you” I said and she pulls me into a hug, wrapping her arms around me.
“Thank you, Winnie” she said, rubbing my back. I internally was uncontrollably sobbing and screaming but- on the outside, I somehow managed to just hold her back and hug her like a normal person.
“I’m sorry- im sure you’re probably annoyed with hearing that stuff but…it’s true, and- I…I guess thats what makes you you- is how humble you are…like- you know I’ve never heard a bad word about you?” I asked and she laughed, pulling away and looking at me.
“C’mon, y’re kidding” she rolled her eyes with a smile, “I’ve seen plenty of awful things about me” she said and I shook my head.
“N-no! No, Taylor, like- sure do people come after your looks, and your voice, because thats all they have to try and pick apart- shallow bullshit..even though you’re like- factually a model - and any person who’s studied a lick of music knows that you have an undeniably insane range and incredible vocal and breath control- this isn’t out of my ass Taylor, I-I was in theater because you inspired me...I was like ‘if this cool 16 year old can put out an album I can do a play’ and I did.. But-but this is about you. I’ve never heard a bad word about you- I’ve been in your fandom for gosh- a year after you started in 2006? All over.. Gee- twitter, facebook, myspace, the old swift app, everything, And i’ve never ever-ever seen someone online or in real life thats like ‘oh my gosh i met Taylor Swift and she is sooo mean’ - anything i’ve ever heard, about things that matter- you are a beautiful, humble, kind person.” I said and she pouted, pulling me into another hug.
“Are you trying to make me cry?” She asks with a giggle, holding me tight. Her PR manager, Tree, comes into the VIP tent.
“Lets get a move on chicky poo - gotta be on the plane in an hour,” she told Taylor and she pulled away.
“Duty calls” she sighs and I giggled.
“It was..enchanting to meet you Miss Swift” I said with a smile and she laughs, pulling me into another hug.
“I like you, you’re sweet, we’ll meet again sometime, ok? Trav is over there chattin’ up your boyfriend to get us into his restaurant for a night” she assured and I look up at her.
“What?! Oh my GOD! Thats…wow- we’d love to have you in Chicago.” I said and Carm comes up, grabbing my wrist.
“C’mon, we’ve been kicked” he joked and Travis laughs a bit.
“I’ll text you man, we’re gonna have a few spare days later this month i’ll try to give plenty of notice” Travis said, coming over and wrapping his arms around Taylors middle and kissing her head.
“Y’ready?” he asks her and she nods, sighing a bit.
“Exhausted” she told him and I squeeze her hand.
“Get some rest, y’deserve it. Kick ass show by the way- I’d go every night if I could- also, sorry I sound like…this- I wasn’t kidding when I said I love your music” I giggled a bit and she nods, smiling big.
“I love it - means you had a great time, ginger tea, and lots of local honey you’ll be good as new in a day or two if you just chug it consistently, its mostly water anyway” she said and I nod, finally letting her go.
“Thank you again…See you soon” I said and we all said our goodbyes. As soon as we were out of eye and ear shot I laugh loudly, jumping up and down, dancing around. “CARMENNNN!!!” I squeaked, hugging him and jumping happily.
“Bear- She likes me” I said excitedly, practically dragging him outside where Richie, Eva, and Sadie were sat at one of the smoke garden tables, Sadie jumps up, bounding over to me and I hug her.
“Dude- everything tell me everything” She said, I broke down in to tears.
“Shes so sweet Sadie!! She- she said she liked my outfit!! A-and Carmy and Travis are gonna be BEST FRIENDS” I cried and she rubs my back. Carmen laughed, for once at my tears, but it was tears of pure joy, so neither of us felt bad at his amusement for my emotional reaction.
“Dude-WAIT- of course she liked it - C’mon- what did she say, like- start to finish also- why is Carm gonna be his best friend?” and the entire walk back to the car, as well as the whole drive home, Carm and I gave the three of them a play by play of our entire 10 minute meeting with them.
➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡ ⋙
#TB&HHPoll#carmen berzatto#the bear fic#the bear fx#carmy berzatto#the bear hulu#carmen berzatto fanfiction#carmen berzatto smut#carmen berzatto fluff#carmy berzatto fanfiction#the bear fanfiction#carmy berzatto x oc#carmen berzatto x oc#borders & banners by saradika
26 notes
·
View notes
Note
PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT YOUR FANKIDS THEY ARE SO CUTE.... do they have unique magic?? what are their family dynamics (with their parents, grandparents, etc.)???
AH OKAY SOOO- I have quite a few (I’ll tag them all so you can scroll through their tags- despite not having an organized blog I do have it organized for them) BUT I shall focus on Nami, Enzi, Faraja and Viv because. I’m in a mood for my girls rn-/lh
Nami is an only child, spoiled to hell and back by Azul because look at that man. He was made to be a girl dad spoiling them. She can do no wrong to them and they will defend her and her actions until the end of time. BUT she is the more generous kind of spoiled (if she likes you. If she doesn’t then get slapped by octopus tentacle motherfucker-) where she will give you something like that because she’d always just get another one
she’s the only one to have a fully thought out um (because god why do they take so much brainpower to think of)- Sirens Song. If she wills it, she can use her voice as a tool of mass hypnotism. This ability goes as far as her voice does, so as long as you are in earshot of her voice, you are susceptible. (Which sucks for beastmen with good hearing)
in general though she is very close with both of her dads and admires both of them to an absurd degree. She wants to be just like them, if not better. She is ADORED on Azul’s side (because in my lore, octo babies are RARE. You will only ever probably have one, or maybe two if you are insanely lucky. It ties into their magical prowess) but on Jamil’s side it’s basically just Najma and Jaddah, but she barely sees her (in my lore Jamil’s mom isn’t a bad person, she just was stuck in a bad situation and was very mentally unwell. Jamil and Najma were both ripped from her arms right after she gave birth and it messed her up. Jamil let her hold baby Nami and she cried)
(Design wise she pulls from Ariel and Vanessa. And a bit of jasmine)
Enzi is also technically an only child, but it’s only ever been her and ruggie. She was quite literally plucked off of the street and she’s been with him ever since. She grew up side by side with Faraja, constantly having play dates and such. But overall, she just, loves her dad. They’re a lot more like friends then a normal parent kid dynamic because ruggie understands that as she gets older she wants more respect (and hyena gender roles come in a bit). He taught her things from his culture though (HISPANIC RUGGIEEEE-) and she is fully considered apart of their community. Even if she’s a grey hyena in a sea of blonde and brown.
Faraja is… oh god she is my angst baby. I’m so sorry girl- she is an only child as well. I swear I didn’t mean for this to happen- her other parent.. isn’t in the picture. One day she was at Leona’s doorstep with a note saying she was his, and a week later, after the tests went through, she was. Cursed with being a bastard in a royal family (despite how fucking upset about it Leona was and how much he fought her treatment) she was basically ostracized from the rest of the family except for farena’s wife and Cheka. Leona loves her though. She never got a royal budget so he works as a local magical history professor and gives her his budget instead. Her hair is used throughout her storyline to express her feelings and I have a post detailing some of her angst
Vivienne is Not an only child, she has her brother, Emil- and she’s a musician (a la Taylor swift- said somewhat jokingly) but she only started performed when she was 16, because Vil was absolutely not going to have her have the same childhood he did. Instead she was tossed over to rook and taken out hunting. She has a crossbow in her skirt enchanted to compress at all times. She’s close with her little brother (tho he is annoying. Like all siblings) and she’s pretty close with both of her parents. (She also loves her gf Faraja which was a uh. Shock for Vil, at first.)
#AUAGH OKAY#Faraja kingscholar#Nami ashengrotto#vivienne schoenheit#Emil schoenheit#Enzi bucchi#Malick draconia#Mallerie draconia#Neo shroud#Ellie felmier#Samir Al asim#Tamaki leech#There is also my florid twins but they are uh. UNNAMED
21 notes
·
View notes
Note
Reading the tags of your recent Kunoichi Turtles post that Female Casey has a bit of a flirtatious personality has led me to headcanon that when Lavinia starts crushing on David (I think that’s Mona’s genderbent name in your AU?) she goes to Casey for advice and tips on how to flirt with a boy but when actually trying to use the flirting tips on David she fails miserably (like that flirting lesson scene from the movie Jumanji), but unknowingly to Vinnie the bad flirting worked and David is smitten XD
AHAHAHA! XD I would literally cry from second hand embarrassment if an episode like that existed. Maybe, maybe, I can see that happening a few "episodes" after David's first introduced into the story, after Vin finally comes to terms with her emotions. Because in this version the relationship progresses slowly over the course of like a season and a half (a lot of that due to David only visiting when his job demands it), and Vin has cold feet like for most of that time lol
David is the one who gets smitten with Vin first in my story and starts making subtle advances while Vin is completely on edge and skeptical of them and needs a while to realize that he actually likes her in a romantic sense, for real, and doesn't have some ulterior motive. After that she's just very awkward and tongue-tied about it.
You know how Raph kept telling Donnie to give up on his crush because they're all giant mutants that won't ever get a chance at love? I wanted to put attention on that part from canon since the show didn't give me that with the canon Ramona. Raph being a teenage girl can only make that mind-set worse, giving him/her more insecurity and self-hatred. Especially since Vin is the biggest of her sisters and the least "cute" and feminine of them. So I don't see her making the first move in any situation, and I think she'd only flirt after it would be made clear the other person feels the same way.
Ahh, sorry, that got a bit serious maybe. The two actually have a really sweet and healthy relationship (y'know, in my head, where it's been living rent free for years now lol), Lavinia just has to work out some things first before she's angst free.
In this AU we first meet David in the episode Newtralized, where David and Sal are trying to arrest the Newtralizer. Slash is there (he's an all-time baddie in this version), Vin gets captured thanks to David getting in the way of the fight, David feels responsible and goes to save her -> bla bla bla -> Vin has a rescued princess moment that she doesn't know how to feel about...
I've been trying to make this episode into an actual fic for the longest time. On the topic of Casey, I'm showing you a short section from the wip. It takes place toward the end when they've all reunited. I think it's also a good example on why Vin would not go to Casey for romantic advice XD
.
.
.
Casey leans in close to her face, her hooded eyes joining her friend’s thoughtful gaze on the young Salamandrian on the other side of the rooftop who is currently listening to his veteran commander going over what had happened while they were split up.
“Look at him standing there,” she says to her smoothly, almost whispering into her ear, “dark skin over toned muscle. Those abs, man.”
“Casey!” Vin cries out in shock and horror and swings around to face her friend’s smug smile.
“Like a chiseled renaissance statue,” Sofie helps with uncharacteristic coyness to her smile.
“Sofie, no!”
All four of the girls are grinning like Cheshire Cats at Lavinia’s discomfort, enjoying themselves way too much. Vin’s cheeks and nose are thoroughly covered in a deep blush and she hates that it’s there in the first place. She doesn’t even like the guy.
“David the Statuesque! That’s what I’m naming him.” Marie exclaims, sounding proud of herself for that one. “I was going to go with something more fun but since he’s your knight in shining armor—Literally!—I gotta be respectful.”
Vin can’t even hide her tortured grimace. Her shoulders sag and she sighs miserably. “I hate you guys.”
#tmnt#kunoichi turtles#ramona#why does this ship - genderbent or not - make me so giddy#answered#my art#genderbend tmnt#kunoichi au#wip#teenage mutant ninja turtles#lavinia#david#writing
35 notes
·
View notes
Note
is so cute how jm keeps promoting and supporting jk bpp! they love and support each other, jk even said how jm promotes 3d on live. it makes me scratch my head how pjms say they want jm to stop promoting other members. i saw their pages in the tags. all they do is talk about jk and other members dragging them. all the time. they don't even talk about jm a lot, only jk and scandals and hoping bad things happen to jk and they want jm to stop promoting him. don't they know jm? you know how ppl say like idols like fans bpp? i've never seen fans so not like their idol like pjms and jm. they act like everything jm says he hates. how can they be like this?
*
Ask 2:
bpp i'm the same anon for pjm and jm. one pjm even said if they were jm's friend they want to tell him to not promote jk. why are they like this? can you pls explain this to me? i'm trying to understand them.
***
Hi Anon,
Are you asking me to explain akgae psychology to you?
Because if you are, I want to preface this by saying you're wasting your time observing people like that. Akgaes are just awful people who happen to develop a superficial hyper-fixation on an idol. Their attachment to their idol is superficial because it's so narcissistic. Their behaviours are more a reflection of their natural states than anything to do with Jimin or even how they see him.
It's why a PJM can think Jimin, who has said on camera more than once that he cuts off real-life friends who talk badly about BTS, why that PJM can unironically think they, a random 'fan', would get a listening ear from Jimin to tell him he should stop posting Jungkook on his Instagram.
Like, it's not even that they're delusional. It's that they're just really shitty people.
It's why they worship and idolize Jimin so much, putting him on a pedestal for being oh so selfless. The reality is that while Jimin is generally a very considerate person, he's not Mother Theresa (as she was known in her lifetime not the reveal afterwards lol). Most of what PJMs place on a pedestal is just Jimin being a decent human being and acting in ways other members have done at some point in different circumstances. But for them, it's the pinnacle of altruism because they can't relate. They can't imagine themselves being that kind or that decent, they can't even begin to picture the sort of relationship Jimin says he has with BTS members because they've got no analogs in their real lives. Akgaes are like judgy old nuns who pick people apart over the smallest human slights, and they actually enjoy being hateful. Hating is 90% of the reason they're here. Their happiness for Jimin stems from him introducing them to a world of six other people in the group plus their millions of fans for them to hate. Jimin has practically supplied them with a lifetime of hate fuel.
For an akgae, there's no bigger jackpot.
Nobody has to like someone because someone else likes them. It's fine if they (or anyone) dislike Jungkook, other BTS members and/or anyone Jimin says he respects. But the difference with an akgae is that their dislike of BTS members is tied to their love of Jimin, shown by the amount of time and attention they devote towards hating, disparaging, and actively looking to harm those members, while in the same breath imagining they're Jimin's friends and buddy buddy enough to tell him to ditch the members. Ditto for the other member akgaes because they all think the same way.
It's frankly kind of hilarious but also a bit psychopathic because all their actions show is that they don't actually like Jimin. They don't like who he is and what he does. They tolerate him because associating with him helps them achieve other goals through him, plus because they don't actually know him, they're more than fine believing that their own version of him is true to life.
This is also how shooters within ARMY approach BTS as a whole, relative to the wider music industry. The common thread that connects people like this, is that they aren't here for the right reasons.
But, as with all things in fandom, c'est la vie.
Jikook will still keep jikooking because nothing - not rain, not shine, not hail, not tornadoes, typhoons, droughts, floods, or tsunamis, will ever stop Jimin from gushing about Jungkook. And vice versa.
Jikook are just built different. And everybody else will just have to deal.
22 notes
·
View notes
Note
these jeremiah fics are giving me life!! i love this boy 🥺 i don’t know if you take requests but i was thinking about how sweet and outgoing jere is and i was thinking about him dating a shy reader and always doing these big romantic gestures to show his love, but also embarrass a little. in particular i was thinking of when he does karaoke with cam cameron, but instead he gets the whole parties attention and dedicates the song to the reader and just belts out lover by taylor swift. i think that would be so cute!! and if it’s the first time actually saying he loves her 🥺♥️
omg hi, thank you so much! 💓 i love him too 🥺
normally i don't take requests, (and this is a one-time only thing) but your scenario is just so effing cute (and also quite similar to the jere x oc 'fic i'm currently writing on ao3 - where the girl he's in love with is also quite reserved and shy. it's on my pinned post if you ever want to check it out ^_^ ) !
so i'm gonna go ahead and do this one! i'm also tagging @gillybear17, since they said they wanted to be added to future posts. :)
i hope you like it. ♡♡♡
Jeremiah Fisher Headcanon: Where He Dates A Shy Reader
you and jeremiah are polar opposites - he's wildly popular and fun and charming, always up for a party - and you're... not. you're quiet, and shy, and crowds make you break out in hives, most of the time.
unless you're with him. he's so sweet, and so gentle with you, so determined to know what you're thinking, what you like and don't like - everything that goes through your head. he's the only boy to care so much about the littlest details, and nothing in the world could have kept you from falling for him.
he, in turn, thinks everything about you is adorable - right down to how you hide behind his shoulder if you see too many people around, to that little wrinkle your nose gets if it's too noisy somewhere. he loves how perceptive you are, how intelligent and sensitive to the world around you. he loves everything about you - to the softest, secretmost parts that you only show him. he loves that he's the only one who can get you to open up, make you feel more present - more alive.
despite your apprehensions, dating him is as easy as breathing – he's unbelievably sensitive to your needs, instinctively knowing when a situation or public place gets too overwhelming for you. always leaves with you the minute he senses you getting uncomfortable – and never makes you feel pressured or forced to attend too many large gatherings.
looooves making big, grand gestures of affection to show you how much he loves you – mostly because it's the best way he knows how, and he always wants you to feel special, and loved, and that you mean the world to him. and partly also because he loves how flustered and tongue-tied you get, when you're usually so composed and quietly dignified. he loves that he can make you blush and stutter in an instant - and relishes every time he can illicit that reaction out of you. ;)
he's even showed up with a jukebox outside your high-school once, when it was raining - singing 'Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic' at the top of his lungs - just to see you turn firetruck-red and cover your face, though you can't quite help your smile - or how you run out and kiss him, despite how shy you are. he grins at you, curls turned dark bronze by the rain - and your heart turns over in your chest. you've never loved a person more.
the most vivid memory you have of him making these kind of gestures is at nicole's karaoke party – where you're quietly minding your business, content to watch jere in his element, soaking up the spotlight. but suddenly he jumps up onto a stool, grabbing the mic and calling for everyone's attention. when they pause, he points directly at you, and says: "this next song goes out to my beautiful girlfriend, hiding out behind the bar over there!"
amid the loud whoops and cheering, jeremiah begins belting out the lyrics to taylor swift's 'lover.' you've already turned beet-red at this point.
"CAN I GO WHERE YOU GO," he all but yells into the microphone, amid the screams from the rest of the partygoers. "CAN WE ALWAYS BE THIS CLOSE FOREVER & EVER."
you practically want the floor to swallow you up at this point, but jeremiah's gaze doesn't leave you for an instant, and you can't tear your eyes from his - he looks too beautiful, a faint sheen of sweat sticking to his neck in the summer heat, darkening his curls. his voice softens as he reaches the next line: "i've loved you three summers now, honey, but i want 'em all..."
suddenly you understand what he's trying to tell you, in his own, loud, jeremiah-esque way, and you can't help tearing up a little, wondering how you ever got this lucky.
when the song's over, he bounds over to you at once - and you hug him immediately, burying your face in his chest. he holds you impossibly close, murmuring into your ear: "i really do love you, sweetheart. i'm sorry i didn't say it sooner. you don't have to say it back, don't worry."
but you do say it back - once, twice, a third time – and he can tell how much you mean it. and after that, nothing and no one can ever keep you apart. ♡
#my first ask!#jeremiah fisher#jeremiah fisher x reader#jeremiah fisher x y/n#tsitp jeremiah#tsitp imagine#tsitp x reader#tsitp fanfic#the summer i turned pretty#tsitp#jeremiah fisher headcanon#jeremiah fisher fanfic#gavin casalegno
346 notes
·
View notes
Text
20 Author Questions
Tagged by @danielleitloudernow TY!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
Still accredited to my name? 135. Total works on AO3 that I've written (including Anon & Orphans) -- somewhere around 150?
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
1.1 MILLION!?!?!??! FUCKING WILD.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Criminal Minds (124). But also have some Thrilling Adventure Hour (4), Grey's (3), and a few other random fandoms where I've written one thing ever.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Caged (Kudos: 635)
The Disposition of Emily Prentiss (Kudos: 511)
I Won't Give Up (Kudos: 441)
A Series of Unfortunate Events (Kudos: 359)
i can't be wrong (to be craving you) (Kudos: 312) OMG I had no idea this fic had that many?!?!!
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I respond to every single comment I get!! Since I can't actually reach through the screen and hug every reader who leaves a comment, a reply is all I have!
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Hmmm, Angstiest ending specifically? I would say 'The Five Horsemen of the Silent Chasm'. (Ends in major character death)
Angstiest overall fic? DEF, DEF, DEF my Jemily saga -- i can't be wrong (to be craving you)
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I've written so much tooth-rotting fluff tbrh. Some cute shit that comes to mind:
Quiet Love (Jara Wedding Fluff!)
Always You (Temily proposal)
I Know a Place (Jara)
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I get entitled comments sometimes. To which I always reply, because I think it's important for other readers to see how not to behave in a comment section. This recent interaction comes to mind:
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
OF COURSE I DO!!! Lately, I have been writing a lot of smut because menopause has turned me into a 24/7 horny gay. All my fics are Femslash and I also write F/F/F threesomes because I have multiple OT3s 😇
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I have written crossovers in the past! Two of my favourites are a TAH x Addams Family one : Beyond Belief: When Family Calls and a CM x Community crossover where Emily and Frankie Dart are estranged twins: Words Left Unsaid
11. Have you ever had a fiction stolen?
Not so much stolen, as I've seen parts of my own personal fanon lore being used in other fics sometimes. Which I find endearing. Me and @otahkoapisiakii have so many Jemily HCs that we often share the same background details in our fics and then, sometimes, readers see these things and mistakenly think they're canon.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yep! I've had a few fics translated into other languages. I think one was translated to Polish and another to Mandarin. Also, I think there's one in German somewhere too.
I LOVE when people ask to translate my works! It's such an honour.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
TONS. I think me and @otahkoapisiakii (Phoenix_falls on AO3) have about 6 or 7 we wrote together.
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
That's an impossible question. My longest loved OTP will always be MSR. My most written OTP is JJ/Emily. My current favourite ships are JJ/Tara & Tara/Rebecca.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
When I retired from writing in 2015, I left behind a WIP (To Catch an Unsub). When I came back last year, I vowed to try and finish it. I re-wrote a lot of what had already been posted and managed a new chapter even -- but after nearly eight years, my writing style now is far different than when I started out in 2015. So I tied up the cliff-hanger and marked it as complete, because I know my heart isn't in it to continue that one.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I have a really good understanding of the characters, I know what makes them tick, their motives, their insecurities and I think that makes them feel more authentic in my works.
I'm also a very fast writer. Both physically (my typing speed is absurd), but also just being able to bang out 10k in a day when I have an idea.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
NUMBERS AND SELF-IMPOSED RULES! I used to have this thing (I still struggle with it, but less so now) where I'd be like 'Every one-shot or chapter can't be more than 4k words'. Or if it's a multi-chap fic it has to be at least x amount of words minimum.
When I started writing completely for myself, those rules stopped holding me back. Now, I write until I'm done writing. Thus why Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) - Part 3 is going to be around 200k long when it's done.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
If I use another language, it's usually French because I at least speak a bit of it and don't have to use Google translate or other horrible tools that butcher nuance.
I have a Spanish speaking character in Part 3 and that made me really have to dig out my limited Spanish speaking skills for her scenes. Which are probably grating to fluent speakers (apologies!)
I think the best thing you can do if you want to use a language you don't speak is to talk to people who do speak it. It helps make the dialogue more genuine.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Bones! During the WGA 2007 strike, I decided to fill the gap of TV hiatus with my own story. I wrote 'She Was My First' (Angela/Brennan) and posted it to LiveJournal (where I was in tons of Bones groups).
Since then, I ported it to AO3 around 2014. And now, it's the most read Angela/Brennan fic on there.
Fun Fact: Someone randomly leaving a comment on this fic last year was the reason I came back to writing!!
20. Favorite fic you've ever written?
I get this question a lot and I think my answer always changes because I love different fics for different reasons. So here are some of my top ones:
Fic I Love Everything About: Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) (Series)
Fics I Consider to be My Most Important: Head Full of Doubt & Journey Through the Silent Chasm (Series)
Fic I'm Most Proud of Writing: i can't be wrong (to be craving you)
My Comfort Fic (the one I re-read the most): Between You & Me
TAG YOU'RE IT: (no pressure!) @storiesofsvu || @gaelic-symphony || @ellegreenawayslover || @tedwinisconfused || @jenny-from-the-bau || @unitchiefs-blackbirdphoenix
#tag game#about me 2k23#my writing#cm fic recs#criminal minds#jennifer jareau#emily prentiss#tara lewis#jemily#temily#jara#je t'emily#faafil#tag you're it#fanfic ask game
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
wild one pt six | stranger things ; g.emerson
tag list babes || req rules / fandoms+characters || got a req? || masterlist
CHAPTERS ;
one two three four five can all be found by clicking. my stranger things masterlist is here.
AUTHORS NOTES;
This chapter went in four fucking different directions before I finally settled on this one. And I thought it was cute, so.. I had to go for it. I'm gonna try to do even more domestic-y fluff for the next one though so if you're interested.. Also, have lowkey established that the whole 'fight' that did take place on the actual show will probably happen here -aka in this fic, though it'll be wildly different and have different reasons for occurring and the way it looks, there miiiight be a fight leading up to that fight but idk yet. Like I said, this story has put me in a fucking chokehold and I have zero regrets.
Huuuuge hugs and lots of kisses to everyone because you have no idea just how much the interaction / your choice to read -and tolerate my bullshit even encourages me to begin with, I cannot say it enough, you guys are so so so so amazing and I love you so much. All the likes / comments / reblogs / reblogs with tags, ugh.. They always blow me away and I can't properly express how much it means to me.
SUMMARY;
-- cheerleaders and drummers / freaks.. they don't mix.. right?
PAIRING;
Gareth Emerson x Fem!Reader ( beyond vague outfit / hairstyle mentions and having female parts + personality, she's blank. )
WARNINGS;
there aren't really any warnings here. Swearing and that's about it. Just two lil babies being cute / oblivious / slightly awkward.
TAGLIST;
@AURUMBELIS
@ALLELITESMUT
@ARIES-ARCADE
@COLE22ANN
@EBONYBLOOM
@HEYAITSKLAUDIA
@HCLOANGCLS
@HOESHII
@ICEQUEEN1371
@KRYS-ORION
@LETSBEDRAGONSTOGETHER
@LOUDERFORTHEBACK
@MUSICHEALSSCARS
@SECRETSICANTHIDEANYMORE
@SCOOBIESSNACKS
@THECHOICESLOOKGRIMM
@UNTITLEDAREA - these are all the names on my stranger things taglist. if you’d like to be added, please click the link at the top of the post.
OTHER STUFF;
set in the summer before S4, will go through S4 but will not have Upside Down, Vecna, deaths. Starcourt Mall + other things still exist here. Gareth is 18 in this, just so we're all clear.
“Okay, we all know what we’re here for, right? In and out, no bullshit.” Eddie gazes at his three best friends and then briefly back at the giant building behind him in the parking lot that houses Starcourt Mall. He absolutely loathes this place for the most part, but venturing out to it today is a necessary evil.
Gareth isn’t exactly thrilled to be at the mall and blue eyes dart around warily. He tells himself he’s trying not to look for you or anything but it goes without saying, yes. Yes he is.
He knows you’re found here sometimes and it’s been about three days since you babysat his little sisters. Three days since he’s seen you at all and truth be told, it’s made him more than a little irritable. This is something that the three boys standing in a lazy circle with him have all picked up on and have been teasing him about relentlessly.
They’re all heading into the mall when he hears your loud laughter nearby and he stops, mid-walk.
You’re in line at Sbarro’s with El and your stepsister, your best friend Emma and two other girls he recognizes from school.
And you’re wearing another one of those little cropped things and a pair of high waisted jean shorts that almost look as if they’ve been painted on, with rips in sporadic places over the legs. The fact that you’re wearing biker boots with cutoffs has him gulping just like it always does. But none of this is what has him staring, transfixed on you as you stand across the food court. What really gets him is the flannel shirt carelessly tied around your waist. That flannel looks almost exactly identical to one he has sitting tucked away in his closet at home. It just actually has sleeves to it unlike his others.
Grant clears his throat. “Go talk to her.”
“Nah.” Gareth shakes his head. “She’s got people with her.”
“Oh come on.” Eddie’s smirking, he’s taunting just a little, maybe he enjoys pushing Gareth Emerson’s buttons about the crush Gareth tries to turn himself inside out to deny. “It’s literally just Red, Red’s little friend and that crazy chick, Emma.”
“And two of the other girls on the squad. I’ll pass, I’m good.” Gareth answers with a calm glare of warning. But his gaze is on you again not even a second later and he watches as you sit down at a table in the middle of the food court, legs reclined against its edge. You’re laughing, talking with your hands at the same time as Max and every now and then you’ll take a sip out of a cup with the Sbarro branding on its side.
The others have all wandered off to get what they came for. Gareth is on a direct trajectory to the music store because he needs to replace his drumsticks, he broke one during a show at the Hideout earlier in the week. He figures you don’t even see him, so he walks right past.
What he’s not expecting is for you to call out to him as he does it.
He stops in the middle of the area, frozen in place and he doesn’t dare look back.
Max is giggling and she nudges you, nodding to the flannel around your waist. “Y’think he’ll recognize it?”
“I have no idea.” you mumble, staring at Gareth Emerson’s turned back intently. “Is he gonna come over here?” you wonder aloud as you take a long sip from the fountain drink inside your cup and sit the cup on the table.
Your stomach churns a little because this isn’t the pool, this isn’t the park or his house. This is Starcourt Mall. Where people will see him if he talks to you or vice versa and you have just enough time to wonder if maybe being thrust into your path most of the summer hasn’t finally gotten on his nerves. But then just as you’ve convinced yourself that he has no interest in being seen talking to you in public and you’ve turned your attention back to your huge slice of deep dish pizza to take another bite, you hear his throat clear from right behind you. His hand is on the back of your chair.
You pretend not to notice but as you feel his knuckle graze right up against your skin you nearly choke on a pepperoni. “Shit. Wrong pipe!” you cough out, recovering. But you can see Max giving you one of her little looks and a headshake. Gareth is lightly hitting you between your shoulders as he gazes down at you in concern. Which then turns into staring. Blushing like an idiot, he can feel the heat in his face.
And Emma’s giving you a shit-eating grin across the table as she slurps into her straw obnoxiously.
“You okay, little chaos demon?” Gareth asks and he wants to punch himself when the private nickname he’s bestowed upon you when he talks about you to the guys slips out, right there, right in public. And there’s his tone too, a little firm. Concerned. He already wishes he’d just kept walking because he just knows he’s making an entire mess out of this interaction.
You turn back to glance up at him and you’re grinning. It’s that same cute and sweet little grin he saw countless times a few nights ago when you babysat his little sisters and you hung around for an hour after, teaching him how to play poker while he tried to explain the finer points of Dungeons and Dragons to you.
It’s the little smile he’d do literally anything for and sadly, this is a fact that he’s just trying to come to grips with. Because he doesn’t think he’ll ever have you, but he can have the little smiles. Or that damn giggle that’s seared into his mind and has him reacting to it every single time he hears it as if it’s now muscle memory.
He’s distracted, just a little. So distracted that he totally misses you reaching down and pressing something into his hand while giggling. You let your hand linger over his before pulling away, reaching back to pick up your soda and like Em was doing seconds before, you’re blowing bubbles into the drink through your straw as you stare up at him for a second or two.
Gareth is snapped back to reality by your soft laughter as you snap fingers in his face to get his attention. You nod to his closed hand and he looks down. Opening it to reveal two pins and a patch. His face is on fire and he wants to die because he hates the fact that he blushes so goddamn easily, he really does. If he had the confidence that Eddie has. Or one of the douchebags on the basketball team, he thinks to himself, blushing wouldn’t be an issue.
“Thanks.” it’s said in this quiet voice, because he’s stunned and he can’t think of anything else to say.
One of them is a Metallica pin. There’s a Motley Crue pin and a Motorhead patch and you give him that cute little grin again, shrugging as if what you’ve just done in gifting him the pins and patch isn’t a big deal but it is. It’s kind of huge, actually.
Because it hits him like a brick wall. This means you were thinking about him. Him.
Emma keeps staring at the flannel around your waist and smirking at you and you’re giving her pleading looks not to say anything to tip him off because you still can’t believe you actually just had it on, wearing it casually as you cleaned up around the house for his parents so his mom wouldn’t have to the next morning. Or that you managed to forget and grab it when you grabbed your own shirt when you went to leave that night.
To be fair, you’d spilled orange Kool Aid all over the Chicago Bears shirt you’d been wearing over the sports bra that night to begin with and you didn’t really want to run around in the sports bra by itself. And his shirt was sitting right there, on the dryer. Taunting you.
But you should have returned the damn thing and explained the situation and yet, somehow, every time you tell yourself you’re going to do it, you just can’t. And now, it’s been a few days and if you say a thing, if you let on what happened you have absolutely no doubt that things will be awkward.
And they’re already awkward enough, what with your penchant for managing to make an ass of yourself nearly every single time he’s thrown into your path.
Gareth happens to see Emma staring intently at the flannel around your waist and he glances down. It looks almost exactly like the one he has that still has sleeves, the resemblance is so much that he’s standing there and he’s picturing you wandering around his room in only the flannel and little else. And now he’s hard and he’s shuffling his sneakers as he tries to will the situation back under control.
He knows it’s not his flannel, it can’t be.
But if it was, oh god.
He’s not even sure how he’d deal with you wearing his clothes beyond his obvious reaction to only a mental image of that happening.
He’s in a daze and you catch him staring at the flannel shirt around your waist and for just a second or two, you think you’re caught, you worry that you have to be. You’re fidgeting, he’s staring and at one point, Max nudges Em and leans in to her side with El doing the same so she can hear what’s said, “Do they do this a lot?”
“Mhm. Usually when one or the other isn’t looking? Are you two feeling like you can’t breathe right now too? Because holy fuck.. Me.” Emma takes a sip as she glances at the two younger girls, “Y’know.” she teases Max gently, “You’re probably gonna be like.. Her second maid of honor at their wedding one day.”
Max laughs, scoffs about it and Emma shrugs. “Don’t believe me then. I’m telling you. That boy is one of those who probably dates for life.”
“And my stepsister just doesn’t date. I mean, she hasn't since I've known her...” Max insists. Emma laughs. “She would if she thought he liked her though. Said it herself last time we were all out playing hide and seek at night, remember?”
“Well yeah, but..” Max mulls it over and shrugs. El laughs quietly. “I can kind of see it. They’re cute.”
“They need to get a room. The tension is driving me crazy.” April fans herself with the stack of napkins she’d grabbed to eat with her burger when you all sat down.
“Totally, oh my god. I think I’m honestly sexually frustrated on her behalf.” Cass admits, slurping her milkshake. “Think the idiot has realized it’s his shirt around her waist yet?”
“No but it’s so fucking fun watching her squirm about it right now.” April laughs.
“I know!”
“They’re okay, right?” you ask the question as you tilt your head slightly and gaze up at him. Gareth clears his throat and nods, giving you what he hopes is a good smile and not one that looks like he’s trying to chew glass. Now that he’s been made aware of the things his face likes to do on it’s own, he’s afraid to risk it around you, truth be told. But he wants you to know he liked them.
So he chuckles quietly and nods. “Yeah, I uh.. I was actually thinking about getting the patch last time I went in.” he drags a hand through his hair and as the light overhead glints off of his ring, your eye catches on it. You take a sip of your soda and nod.
And then Emma, because she just has to be a shit, she smirks. “Show him what you got yourself, trouble. Do it. I can’t wait to watch Caroline and her merry band of idiots lose their shit when you wear them. Or when I wear my own stuff.”
You’re giggling. Grinning as you dig around in a bag with the music store’s logo on it. You pluck out a black Metallica shirt and a gray Motorhead one, then a white Motley Crue shirt with the logo done in neon colors. “She never should have told me I dress like a grungy little whore?” you shrug and Gareth laughs.
“She actually said that?” Gareth asks, grumbling to himself about her lack of room to talk.
“Mhm. But it’s fine, totally fine. I mean.. I’m not the one who's been parking with every boy on the football team this summer.” you take a sip as you say it.
“She started a war when she said it, just doesn’t realize it yet.” Cass speaks up, glancing from you to Gareth as Emma interjects, “If she thinks for one goddamn second I’m not gonna take her criticism as an excuse to pull out all the stops, she’s lost her mind. Even Cunningham is sick of her and Chrissy tries to love everybody.”
“Damn.” Gareth laughs.
“We all called it. She got co-captain last year and we all had a sleepover that very night and said it was gonna go straight to her massive head.” you muse. Standing and stretching.
‘Hey, trouble.. We’re gonna go down to that arcade they just opened in here. Max owes me a round of air hockey. And Cass and April wanted to go to that lingerie store, see if they have better quality fishnets for the plan….”
Before Max can protest because she wants to stick around and be nosy and El wants to do that too, Emma has both girls and they’re all rushing away, leaving you alone with Gareth in the middle of the food court.
“What plan?” Gareth asks after a second or two of staring at you. You raise up and fluff at his hair and his breath catches and hangs all over again because this makes you brush up against him. Then you’re giggling and shrugging. “Just watch and see.”
“ Do I even want to know?“ Gareth questions as he steps closer and all the space between you is gone. “You won’t like.. Get in trouble, right?”
“Sir, you are aware that I’m on a first name basis with trouble, right?” you laugh and shake your head no. “I'll probably get laps or get bitched at, but that’ll probably be all that comes of it.” you answer, going quiet.
Eddie spots him and starts to make his way over. And knowing that Eddie has a tendency to just say things without thinking, he is not willing to risk Eddie saying anything that might reveal the crush he has on you that he’s trying to ignore and forget.
“I’ll see you around.” Gareth smiles as he says it, nodding in Eddie’s direction. You smile and nod, winking as you play with the collar of his shirt because you’re distracted and staring up at him again like an ass and you can’t seem to keep your hands to yourself, as usual. “Okay. I’ll see you around.” you step away and start to walk off but you stop and call out to him with a laugh as you do, “Hey, kick ass tonight.. At that game thing?”
Gareth grins and nods. “Yeah., at DnD. I will. Don't hitchhike or anything, got it?”
And as you slink away, disappearing into the lingerie store down from the food court, Eddie clears his throat and nods in your direction, smirking at Gareth. “You did it after all. Good.”
“Actually, she kind of stopped me.” Gareth admits.
Eddie’s brow quirks. “Oh?”
“Yeah.”
He chuckles. “I told you, didn’t I? Absolutely no reason to keep fighting it, Emerson. None at all.”
And whether he likes it or not, Eddie’s little statement just won’t leave him alone or be buried this time.
Eddie notices the pins and the patch and takes them, looking at them.
“She uh.. She gave me those.” Gareth admits, dragging his hand over fluffy curls. Eddie’s mouth drops open and then he’s practically howling in laughter. “Oh my god, Emerson.”
“Fuck you, Munson.” Gareth grumbles, glaring up at his friend as he grabs for them to take them back. "Give me those."
“You’re a special kind of clueless, Emerson. A very special kind. Girls don’t just buy things for us, especially y’know, us” he gestures to himself and then Gareth, “the freaks, without a damn good reason. She likes you. I’m telling you, idiot.”
“There’s no fucking way.” Gareth insists.
“Okay, then explain why she’s got the exact same shirt you own tied around her waist right now, roaming this mall as we speak?” Eddie gazes at Gareth calmly, waiting on an answer. “It honestly looks like one of yours, man. I almost asked you when she got her hands on your shirt.”
“It’s not. So what, she has the same flannel.” and he tries again to shrug it off, push everything his best friend is stubbornly suggesting down as deep as it’ll go.
Eddie grumbles, rubbing his hand over his face. “Forget it, reasoning with you is like reasoning with a brick wall.”
#gareth emerson#gareth the great#gareth emerson imagine#gareth emerson fanfiction#gareth emerson x reader#gareth emerson x fem!reader#// just wait.. it's gonna pick up. + more domesticity type stuff ahead.
88 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hi my frinends call me Chris
and this is where I dump everything I like with no real theme, you may find this pinned post perfectly reflects that. I'm czech and as such I speak Czech and English fluently. I am also learning Spanish and have a great interest in Latin and Italian, which I am also very casually learning.
BLOG WARNING: There's a good chance I will reblog insects without tagging, as well as suggestive art or non sexual artistic nudity and blood or injury. If you don't want to see these, it's best you do not follow me. I rarely think before I reblog and cannot guarantee anything, even if I was actively trying to tag.
About me:
-I like to draw and research stuff that interests me.
-I am a bigender transsexual male, any gendered terms are fine for me. I dislike exclusionists and generalizing other people within the trans community, but I'm happy to explain anything - about myself only - to the occasional curious onlooker whether it's trans related or not :3.
-I use a lot of sexuality labels interchangeably for fun just because idfk what applies to me either, I probably fall under the asexual umbrella somewhere too, but I have a job so idrc about that rn (translation: I'm in a ldr and it's not relevant to my life)
-I'm vegan-ish as in that's what I buy and cook for myself, but I still live with my parents so sometimes I scavenge their scraps or leftovers out of the fridge - it is primarily for environmental reasons, but I really enjoy the food I make so far and I like cooking, always happy to exchange recipes.
-I also like horses it is a recently rekindled (by rdr2) childhood interest.
-I consider myself to be religious, but I have a personal belief system that is not tied to any specific organized religion.
-If you'd like to talk I'm always open to DM.
Interests:
-I love music of most genres and discussing it, but primarily I am a fan of various rock and metal subgenres and to a lesser extent rap but almost all I know about rap I learned from my girlfriend. I get real specific with what makes me tick and what bores me however. Lately I listen to a lot of old folk music, blues and americana.
-I am a massive vocaloid fan. My all time favorite producer is Kikuo, I have been a fan of his work for maybe 7 or 8 years now. I am also very fond of Pinocchio-p and various others. My favorite vocaloid overall is Meiko, but flower might be my favorite voicebank wise.
-I'm a fan of many a videogame including but not limited to Fallout (I specifically like 1 2 and New Vegas but I can enjoy the others and talking about them) FFXIV and Elder Scrolls, those are probably the main ones I'm obsessed with.
I'm currently REALLY big into pjmoon, Lobotomy Corporation rly hit the right spot for me gameplay wise and I keep up with Limbus Company story (except canto VI due to ruina spoilers), though I have not yet touched Ruina. I also like Neuro-sama. I don't really watch other vtubers, though I do like some of their non-stream content sometimes.
If you ever want someone to raid with on FFXIV or do literally anything with especially if youre new to the game or high end content pleaseeee hmu it will be so fun but also hmu about your wol lore Im obsessed with it you could be a completely random ass stranger with 0 posts and no profile picture but I have to hear about your catboy especially if you want me to dump wol lore on you also. My favorite FFXIV character is probably Hermes as far as actual writing goes, but I have a folder for Asahi made up entirely of in game screenshots that contains let me check yeah 961 images so that's a fun fact about me, there really isn't a whole lot to his character but that never stopped me before. (I'm currently on a short break from FFXIV, but I am continuously working on character lore and working on making a WoL comic.)
-Other than games other fandom stuff I like is a lot of animated shows. I love watching moe and anything cute and high energy, aside from that to list my favs I really like Gintama, MP100, Mushishi, Kino's journey, Mononoke, K-On, Bocchi, Eizouken I also like One Piece (watching the anime atm), but I have some polarizing opinions on the anime I think Im gonna switch to the manga frankly. And yea Jojo but Im mostly an anime only, part 4 is probably my favorite but Joseph is my favorite protag. I love Arcane, but Ive never touched League of Legends, I just watch the cinematics. I'm also a Futurama fan, it was my fav childhood show I've seen it maybe 5 times and I still like it now. Also I like hxh a lot and my all time favorite character in any visual medium ever is Illumi but I hate Hisoka and have all tags related to him blocked so life is hard for me sometimes.
-As for manga Im reading Witch Hat Atelier, Spy X Family, Ya Boy Kongming! part 7 of Jojo and Golden Kamuy rn mostly, I'm not much of a manga reader as reading anything online bothers me. I love Junji Ito's works. I haven't read very many other comics recently, only Watchmen and V for Vendetta, which I thought were good. My all time favorite manga is Shimanami Tasogare.
-Been watching X Files, Twin Peaks and Columbo and I'm a fan of all of the above. I've already seen Twin Peaks once, but I was a child and didn't get it and don't remember anything and my girlfriend rarely wants to watch it with me but Im tryiung to force them. Many such cases.
-I love reading, lately I really enjoy Camus, also I read Hesse's Demian the day before I had top surgery and it left a strong impression which I pondered over when waking up from anesthesia, so now that book is very dear to me as a result. I have been raised to have a positive relationship with literature, so just being around or discussing books can make me happy, though I tend to alternate between an infinite amount of them and struggle to finish them, which is the same thing I do with all media teehee. I've liked E. A. Poe basically my entire life. I also like reading plays and poetry, I'll read basically any form of writing so go ahead and send me recommendations! But keep in mind I have a lot of classics to catch up on, so I don't read much recent literature. I also will not read fanfiction unless it was written by somebody I care about. I'm open to reading VNs and have read a few of the popular ones, but I already have some on my backlog and am currently reading through Subarashiki and Slow Damage (Towa as a character rly resonates with me so its hard to hate the game despite the rough points but I wouldnt rly recommend it to anybody I dont know well...idk)
-I like a lot of movies, but my main passion lies in horror. I am equally passionate about movies I hate however so watch out! I do not criticize the media I consume to bask in my hatred and be negative, I love analyzing things and what I like or dislike about them, but I understand completely if you do not like this as much as I do. I generally tend to be more critical of media that takes itself seriously or is propped up as a masterpiece or something very unique for its respective genre, when it doesn't live up to those expectations. Though I do not consider myself a snob and will often watch bad movies for fun or enjoy things I am critical of. I recently saw all of Little Nicky with my friends and it was a great experience. I think the movie is probably one of the worst I've ever seen in my entire life so do check that out.
I'm way too into the SAW franchise, I also recently got into Star Wars (I also love kotor 1 and 2 and play swtor sometimes). My favorite slasher series and some of my favorite movies of all time are Child's Play I am also very passionate about John Carpenter's apocalypse trilogy - everyone knows The Thing but what many people don't know is that he has made 2 other movies which are also as you may have guessed about possible ways the world could end, I adore In The Mouth of Madness one of my favorite movies ever. I also like several czech films/films by czech directors they are very dear to me.
There is definitely a lot I forgot here, I have an interest in way too many things and am also glad to learn about ones that are new to me. So in summary I'm open to discuss basically anything, I enjoy texting new people and learning about people, I absorb it like a sponge, you want to give me your opinion on the industrial revolution? Ok! Yay ❤️
I'm a relatively open ''what you see is what you get'' kind of person, but sometimes I struggle to convey what I'm trying to say. I love my gf and friends - and the world and people in general, though I may slip up and imply otherwise if something makes me mad.
Side note:
I don't rly have a DNI but if I don't like your blog I'll just block you. This is generally not personal (although it could be ig) instant block reasons range from tangible reasons I might have to dislike someone (right wing or conservative views, smug person etc) to personal distaste and petty mild annoyances (profile says your AGAB in some form for 0 reason, hard to read typing quirks/grammar, talking about your distaste for bugs under every post that so much as mentions them and so on) or simply filtering out content I don't care to see when filtering tags fails me. If you don't know why I might have blocked you, it's very likely it's just a random small reason and says nothing about you. I like most people and I enjoy keeping it that way so when I get online I try to filter out even speech patterns I dislike, because someone I would roll my eyes at on here could otherwise be my friend in a nuanced setting and I don't want to think badly of them.
Also. I don't think proship and anti are coherent enough descriptors so I will say personally I think more or less anything goes except for the sexualization of characters that explicitly look like children or animals. Also, a lot of "dark topics" are just an excuse to use shock value or fetishize certain scenarios but I think that is its own problem and boils down to that piece of media sucking. That said I dont like to/want to engage with people who label themselves as proship as a general pointer.
If you actually read this far or like, any of this at all thanks smile. check this out
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tips on how to find cute vintage clothes
•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•
this post is inspired by a tiktok from @blackhairedbrat go watch it and show it love!!
Knowing your tastes:
theres so many things to look into when it comes to vintage clothes. obvi, u wanna start with what period of time u aspire to dress like. late 90s, early 2000s, mid 80s, 50s-60s, 2010s (not really vintage but its definitely making a comeback). also knowing what styles looked like during those times in different countries can definitely broaden ur horizons. examples like japan during the 90s, central europe in the 2000s, and the U.S. in the 70s can definitely open u to new things u didn't know u are into. pick and choose stuff, make it ur own, its all up to u on what ur signature look is!
once u settled on a time period(s), research into the fashion scenes. there are many sub-genres of fashion back in the day that translate into the aesthetics we know today, such as goth, preppy, grunge, mcbling, futuristic, and many more. go with whatever fits ur personality or even a version of urself u always wanted to be. see whats compatible with your proportions; what u wanna accentuate and minimize, the materials of clothes and colors, the makeup, any and all of it!
once u got all ur shit figured out, make a mood board, follow some brands that were popular during that time, and start curating your closet. get rid of anything that u don't really wear anymore or that u feel doesn't suit ur vision.
Where to look:
thrift stores like savers, salvation army, goodwill, etc.
online shops (depop, grailed, etsy, poshmark)
shop locally (go to pop up shops/flea markets, follow people on instagram that sells secondhand, use related tags to find users, etc.)
ask for hand me downs from relatives, friends, literally anyone who u know had pieces from the desired era u wanna dress like
malls! the more run down the better! look for stores that are reminiscent of clothes u want.
small businesses that garner towards a certain aesthetic!
Other helpful tips:
FIND ALTERNATIVES! nothing is ever ideal. beggers can't be choosers right?
when leaning into more of the punk/alternative stuff, DIY it to make it more authentic. i do it all the time its fun!
trading. (sorta tied to both the online shops and locally shop points previously) surprisingly, people will trade their stuff as long as u have something equally as good or valuable. just gotta look at the right places on the internet and stay safe.
↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷
Have fun and don't get scammed, u fashion icon!
#2000s aesthetic#y2k#gay boy#boy blogger#early 2000s#mcbling#microblog#bratz boyz#cyber y2k#alternative fashion#it boy#cool look#thrift finds#thrifting#goodwill#thrifstorefinds#thrifted#vintage fashion#throwback#shopping#shoponline
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
first love / late spring is the chase song ever. lately hes been crying like a tall child. please hurry leave him he cant breathe please don't say you love him. one word from you(emma) and he would jump right off this ledge hes on. tell him dont so he can crawl back in. he was so young when he behaved 25 yet now hes found hes grown into a tall child.
humpty is a chemma song. he broke what emma gave him but she kept giving more. they make me physically ill oh my god
theres nothing left for you is also a chase(could be chemma post breakup depending on how you interpret the use of you in it) but in a really specific way you just have to understand
last words of a shooting star is a chemma at their absolute worst song but, again, in a really specific way you just have to understand. chase learnt from movies how love ought to be
geyser is a chase song in a season 1 chemma way. no explanation it just is
In Conclusion chaseis mitskipilled. all the way. every song in one way or another
(additional thing. with more people jumping on the Changst Wagon im gonna start signing off with 🪦🐕 grave dog!!!!!! from the og changst poster under td takes)
chase is mitskipilled in the most severe way ever. he retired from sad and has a new career in business (his yt channel). the land is inhospitable and so is he.
first love / late spring is so real. it's his self destructive properties and the isolation he puts himself through. the assumption he makes that people are going to ignore him so he doesn't care about it to begin with (he cares so deeply though)
humpty is literally SO REAL like that's perfect. it's one of my personal fav mitski songs and it's just so good for them. he's too frail for her to touch. it goes both ways depending on how you interpret it im soooo normal about this
there's nothing left for you is imo him having to come to terms with leaving the beach house and in general having to abandon his self destruction. he has to leave in order to improve but he finds it difficult even though he knows that there's nothing left for him because it's all he ever knew. and I think the sweethearts door is Bowie because I can do whatever I want
I get last words of a shooting star and geyser but in a way I can't put into words without sounding insane. you're real they've very accurate but it's just that people have to get it I can't explain.
toung tied by free throw is chemma breakup but from chase's toxic abandonment issues perspective. at least in my opinion. did she forget she'd said forever when he asked her how long she would stay? and I the dog/the body by sleater-kinney is chase. trust me it's so good.
and grave dog is literally so cute!!!! more people on the changst wagon is awesome :) I'll tag your posts with 🪦🐕 from now on so they're easy to find
#total drama#total drama 2023#td chase#total drama spoilers#td23#td 2023#🪦🐕#also it's cool that theres more than one person sending anon takes to me! plus the one off anon person thats very fun :)
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
⚠ read before interacting ⚠
DNI LIST:
minors - block on sight if no age in bio
anyone with blank/ageless blog / a blog that seems fake / anyone that looks like a bot - you'll be blocked on sight, you've been warned
terfs, transphobes, anti-LGBTQIA+ folk
DNI if you don't respect trans rights.
anyone with the following kinks: r4pe, detrans, raceplay, misoginy, patriarchy, incest
this list may be edited at anytime.
Why did you follow me?
Your posts probably made me horny. Yeah that's pretty much it.
Should I send asks/comment/interact with you?
I mean feel free to (after reading the whole post), but I can't sext back. I do feel my tail wag and exhibitionist kink tingle when you praise me there, tho~
Oh, I may take a while to answer you. That's because I need to talk to my owner first. If he doesn't like you that's too bad. Please don't pressure me to answer quickly.
Asks are tagged #sunny asks.
Can I DM you?
DMs are too personal for me. Idk if I'll ever answer them. I'm sorry if I just ignore you. You could send an ask tho.
I'm not looking for new friends but some puppy buddies seem nice. Just remember, I already have an owner!
Again, I may take a while to answer you since I have to talk to my owner first.
If my owner doesn't like you I may never answer again 🤷♀️
Oh, I almost forgot: English is not my first language. So if I say something in a weird way, feel free to help me correct it, as I'm always learning.
now let me introduce myself ��
Hello! I'm sunflower. You can call me sunflower, sun or sunny if you'd like.
Have you noticed there's a dom/switch puppygirl shortage in the market? Well, fear not, for here I am.
This is my horny blog to post about my puppy thoughts without my friends thinking I'm a weird furry.
Feel free to read my hornyposting, but beware: I bite.
Me being switch also means I won't be all helpless and braindead as you may expect. I mean, I am pretty helpless and dumb, but not as much as my puppy friends. So keep that in mind!
some things about me
I'm a woman and use she/her pronouns.
🏳🌈 I'm a panromantic sapphic. I may post about men or women at anytime. I will use #sunny sapphic when posting about girls and and #sunny fiancé when posting about men (likely only referring to my fiancé).
💍 By the way, I'm engaged to the most perfect owner ever! That means I won't be able to flirt with anyone. Sucks to be you I guess. He also reads my blog. Hi, love!~
As for cute pet names, you can call me pup, puppy and good girl. Yeah not all that creative right, I'm still discovering things. If you act someway I dislike, I'll tell you and I expect you to respect me okay? We're both adults here!
💛 My favorite kinks (for now) are: pet play (duuuh!), praise, orgasm control/edging, overstimulation, breeding, impreg, bondage, shibari, free use, dry humping, femdom, thigh riding, scissoring, feral play
⚠ I may post about those kinks as well (in a light way! :3): knife play, impact play, exhibitionism, blood play, masochism / sadism, choking, intoxication, breathplay. All those will have cw. Consent is mandatory.
❌ Hard limits: r@p3 play, CBT, hypno, scat / piss, cuckold / cheating, basicaly anything else that makes unconscious, anything mortal aaaand, believe it or not, eating/drinking out of a bow or being out in public while leashed.
I'm still getting used to a bunch of things. I guess I'm primal hunter. I guess I like knotting. Who knows. I'm about to find out.
BEWARE: I LIKE TAKING BATHS
BEWARE: I ALSO GROWL AND BITE A LOT
IF I FLIRTED WITH YOU: NO I DIDNT SORRY IF IT CAME OUT THAT WAY ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE SORRY FOR MAKING YOU UNCOMFORTABLE IF I DID
ALSO (I keep on remembering things to add...) I'm GNC (most days). That means I'll sometimes post about wearing ties, suits and boxers. Just a heads-up - my pronouns will always be she/her tho, and I don't like to be called darling, handsome etc
Tags
#sunny sapphic
#sunny fiancé
#sunny asks
#sunny dom
#sunny top
#sunny sub
#pinned#petpl4y#petpl@y#breeding pet#puppygirl#puppy girl#puppyposting#puppy sub#puppy dom#puppy gf#primalposting#weeelll here we go
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
my 2022 writing year in review!
Thank you so much to @feeisamarshmallow for the tag!
1. Number of stories posted to Ao3: 32 separate stories! I was very fortunate to have a productive, joyful writing year, and I also started writing shorter stories rather than longer ones this year.
2. Word count this year: 74,396
3. Fandoms I wrote for: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Gilmore Girls, Grey’s Anatomy, Heartstopper, Murdoch Mysteries, Severance, Supergirl, The Fault in Our Stars, The Martian, Virgin River
4. Pairings: Aang/Katara, Sokka/Zuko, Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago, Rory Gilmore/Logan Huntzberger, Charlie Spring/Nick Nelson, William Murdoch/Julia Ogden, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Hazel Grace Lancaster/Augustus Waters, and Beth Johanssen/Chris Beck.
5. Stories with the most:
Kudos: i’ve been around the globe, found a diamond wrapped in gold (but it doesn’t shine like you) which is my Supercorp friendship bracelet story! I just finished it and I was so happy to be able to give it a satisfying, cute ending.
Bookmarks: same thing as above! this was a really popular story :)
Comment threads: to know you like the back of my hand, which is my collection of a dozen one-shots I wrote for Supercorp.
Word count: same thing as above! this fic was my longest this year, at 9,100 words total.
6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): I’m going to go with memories painted in much brighter ink, the Heartstopper fic I wrote about Nick and Charlie dealing with their negative relationships with Harry, who decides to apologize to them both for being a bully and a bad friend. That fic is also tied with please remind me to forget you for the story I’m most proud of (this one is my Murdoch Mysteries story about William and Julia reconciling after she marries the wrong guy.)
They were both really interesting missing-moments stories that included letters (I’m a big fan of epistolary communication! letters are so intimate and personal!) and I don’t think most other writers would have published something like this. It felt exciting and special to focus on these parts of canon and expand them, exploring the characters’ curiosity and heartbreak at the same time.
7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): Definitely i strung you a halo of stars, which is a collection of 4 stories I wrote for Supercorptober. I was really anxious and stressed when I wrote these stories, and I felt like I kind of had to “keep up” because it’s a fandom holiday and we had daily challenges. The writing became more about maximizing word count rather than enjoying writing, which is why I only did Supercorptober for about 5 days before quitting. I was just too busy and uninterested in the end.
8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: Oh, I have so many! @nostradamus0 is kind enough to leave screaming reviews on many things I write (thank you for that, friend) and I also got a lot of really lovely reviews on Supercorp stories I wrote about parental trauma or forgetting your native language or struggling with anxiety.
I really like to write hurt/comfort and fluff combined, and it was so nice to see that my stories were able to comfort other readers who were also dealing with stress and hurt.
Aaaaand I got so many lovely reviews on the fics I wrote for Kataang or Heartstopper. I love being able to write things that entertain and make people happy. I’m quite good with banter (it’s my main thing and the easiest thing for me to write) and I insert it wherever possible.
9. A time when writing was really, really hard: Supercorptober! I was pushing myself to do a monthly challenge when I had schoolwork and other stuff to deal with, and it just didn’t work out for me. I’m glad I quit so early. Quitting is good and quitters deserve hugs and chocolate. If you can’t sustain something, taking a step back and interrogating why is a good idea.
10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Helly R from Severance. She is amazing. I would die for her. I wrote about her in my reputation precedes me, a ficlet about her character growth, and I can’t say anything more without spoilers. Severance is the best tv show I’ve ever seen. I don’t usually like thrillers/horror but Severance is light on both and it’s just so GOOD at exploring the ways that capitalism will devour you from the inside out.
11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:
this is a scene from (whoever said I would find someone new) must’ve never met you, a Supercorp fic set at a southern bar where Supercorp have broken up in the beginning and they get back together by the end.
I really loved writing Lena’s experience at this bar, The Great Beyond, and creating OCs who are all friendly and loving. I’m also just ... weirdly excited to write the OCs falling in love with each other because they are all gay? And I love a good queer southern love story.
Fuck. She should’ve just turned into bed early instead of driving out here to the bar, The Great Beyond, to say hey and good evenin’ to the regulars. Tim probably groaned when he saw her. Marcie in the corner cheered gently when she walked in. Lena always dances with her when it’s eleven and they don’t wanna go home yet. And then there’s Lucas, about to get his first tattoo, and Connor who keeps his guitar in the backseat. Just in case he figures out the bridge of the song he’s been writing since last year, y’know. He and Tim came up with the chorus together.
Connor won’t tell you he plays but he can sing you a story, rock you to sleep, take you on an old-timer’s tour of dreamland. Lena’s been before. She’s seen the milestones and skipped them across the pond. The road on the way there’s a little rocky, but it’s nothing she can’t handle.
Ashley sits front and center, welcoming the warm glow of orange light. Steph tilts back in her chair and offers once again to braid Ashley’s hair, or perhaps Lena’s. Steph had been laid off from the beauty salon last month. No luck since.
Lena said yes once, on a Saturday when she found an old receipt from the time she and Kara went and got ice cream at Braum’s, and Steph wiped her tears away with a ratty napkin before twisting Lena’s hair into a Celtic knot.
“No, I’m Irish,” Lena blurted, “and I dunno if I’m a Celt-”
Steph laughed. “Who’ll ever know ‘cept for you?”
12. How did you grow as a writer this year: I started writing for different fandoms instead of being strict with myself about “the core fandoms” that I had to stick to! I wrote shorter stories (like, 1500 words or less) because I liked it and I didn’t have time to do a big multichap fic. I branched out. I had fun while writing. I wrote meta for Grey’s Anatomy and Virgin River. I quit writing for The Resident because that show took a SERIOUS downturn in quality recently, and I don’t ever want to watch it again (if you know, you know.)
This was a good year and I had so much fun writing shorter stories, and different stories for various tiny fandoms.
13. How do you hope to grow next year: I want to get better at not defining success through the number of hits/words/comments/etc. a story has. Stories are allowed to exist just as they are. Less popular stories aren’t “bad” or “not worth my time.”
I also hope to finish up some of my unfinished multichap stories, and mayyyybe write more for B99 (I only wrote 1 B99 story this year, and it was meta rather than fiction, which is a big change from previous years when I wrote a lot of peraltiago fic.) AND I want to keep writing whatever I want, even if that means writing for new fandoms that I’ve never tried before.
I like writing things out of love I’m not a good visual artist; I’m not good with textiles or gifs or drawing, and I often wish that I could translate the images in my head to art on a page. But fic is one of the ways that I like to give back to fandom, collaborate with fandom, meet people in fandom. I love that I can have a fleeting idea and publish a story about it in the next 12 hours.
14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):
@nostradamus0. It’s not even a question. He is lovely, and lets me scream at him about Kataang even though he’s never seen ATLA, and I can send him excerpts of my stories anytime.
15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: EVERYTHING from real life shows up in my writing.
must’ve never met you was inspired by neotraditional country music of the 2010s/2020s (it’s great! it’s making a comeback!!!)
many of my supercorp fics are inspired by my cats and my narwhal painting (technically, it’s a poster of whales, but there’s a narwhal in there) and my desperate desire to have a lamp shaped like a jellyfish.
I constantly write scenes where people bake because I get frantic if I don’t bake for several days. Oh, and I also constantly write scenes where people daydream and write letters/letters and cherish the softness of their homes because I’m a gentle person.
16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: Uh, overusing italics is a really bad idea because it ruins the flow of your sentences. Getting a good flow often involves reading your work in your head so you can imagine the ups and downs of the words.
Writing takes time and you’re allowed to be frustrated that you’re not “better.” Give yourself time and space. Write as often or as rarely as you want.
Write down fic titles and AU ideas in a list in Google Docs because you may want them later. Don’t be afraid to be silly or gloomy or whatever; this is your blank page! Your words are the ink!!!!
Reading other people’s work, whether a published book or a fic or stuff like poetry, is a great way to get better at writing. Offering to be someone else’s beta reader, such as on AO3, is often a great way to make friends and learn more about writing. Oh, and try not to judge your writing too harshly. You still have so many good things waiting for you.
17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: hmmmmmm I do have 2 peraltiago AUs (the you’ve got mail AU and the Jake-is-undercover AU) that I want to finish sometime in the future.
I also have several ATLA stories that are random memory-tangle-ideas (the Aang-Spiderman AU, the Katara is undercover as both a Kyoshi Warrior and the Painted Lady AU, the Kataang Mulan AU, the Zukka turtleduck petting zoo AU, the Zuko-emotional-support-dragon story) that I hope to write eventually! Or, at least, they will stay good dreams.
18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:
@nostradamus0, @chocomd, @flameohotwife, @dearestpartnerofgreatness
and anyone else who wants to participate! If you see this, you are free to do this tag if you like! <3
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
My commentary in blue.
I posted 1,219 times in 2022
203 posts created (17%)
1,016 posts reblogged (83%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@i-love-you-by-thunder
@candyheartedchy
@bees-self-ships
@kittyandco
@nerdstreak
The crew ^
I tagged 1,211 of my posts in 2022
Only 1% of my posts had no tags
#tfqueue - 152 posts
#➕ herr doktor - 142 posts - Some things never change.
#;others' ships - 132 posts
#;imagines - 101 posts
#;feelings - 100 posts
#💗 remote surgery - 90 posts
#delete later - 64 posts
#do not rb - 63 posts
#self ship - 57 posts
#💫 man of the stars - 54 posts - Sigma got 54 posts since I f/o'd him this year!
Longest Tag: 131 characters
#but recent developments show that there's a bunch of similarities between another past f/o and someone whom i'm considering adding:
Unfortunately I didn't f/o either of them (Optimus only becoming a crush f/o) 😅
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Medic's young daughter quickly becomes intrigued by her father's work, as soon as she's able to look over the table. It becomes a common occurrence for her to watch him conduct his research, occasionally asking questions and learning more about biology and medicine. Medic is hoping this is a sign that she'll follow in his footsteps, but is happy enough that he has his daughter's company.
Close-ups and microscope reference under cut:
See the full post
47 notes - Posted June 28, 2022
#4
Beach Episode!! I just had to take the excuse to draw Tech and Medic in vintage swimwear lol. Look at them, don't they make a cute couple?
Ref and tracing notes under the cut:
I very lightly traced the poses for size, but only used small parts of the woman's outline before adjusting the sketch for Tech's body shape. I also traced an angled shot of Medic's head, but that was edited as well.
54 notes - Posted July 8, 2022
#3
Day 2: Formal
Another one for @dontneedadispenser's V-Day event. I almost didn't post it, but a few friends of mine made me feel better about it. Please accept my humble contribution. u///u 👉👈
This is my personal cliché scenario of going to a ball/gala, but I did also see Saxton Hale host these kinds of parties, so you could say this stuff is canon. Maybe one of them was nominated for a merc award and was invited to bring a few friends. And with the help of an anonymous "fairy godmerc", Technician was able to attend a fancy event for the first time in her life. Needless to say she took her secret admirer's breath away - just like she hoped she would.
66 notes - Posted February 9, 2022
#2
On this day last year, RED Medic and Technician tied the knot! What better way to celebrate than to make a picture based on the TF2 achievement color palette challenge! It's quite an achievement for sure, and perhaps one that more TF2 OC ships will get in the future.
Confetti source
68 notes - Posted August 17, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
When I say that the sound of my f/o's voice helped my mind and body settle down from overstimulation anxiety, I know the self ship community will understand.
178 notes - Posted January 14, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
The first 4 of my top posts are my techmedic art and I couldn't be happier with that fact. I'm also happy with the number 1 post cuz it was written with Medic in mind, and I'm glad other people can relate to what I experienced with him.
This was another great ship year with him and my other f/os, and with all my amazing friends here. Here's to more self shipping love and happiness next year!
8 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
akaashisupremacy
Moon Island
wonbini
dear. my darling
leviathanspain
temptation.
sommerbueckers
Paige Has My Heart
ageofevermore
you’re on your own, kid