#also i accidentally posted this on my main like a few hours ago LOL | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

betweentheracks · 3 years

Note

Heyo! Not to be too nosy here but you mentioned you're in bad health and recovering, and I just wondered what happened? Also how would it impact your career since, from how you've made it all seem thus far, it's a highly active and demanding job?

Hope you take care and get well! You appear quite strong and not like you'd take whatever has happened just lying down, so here's to you!! 🙏💓

No sweat and no worries here, I dont find this particularly invasive. If anything, I'm flattered you care to ask after me lol. 😁

A few weeks back I met a friend I hadn't seen in some time for lunch. This was against my better sense of caution that I've held firmly to throughout the pandemic, but I would feel regretful and dismissive if I didnt agree to see her while I had the chance. I should've listened my gut and stayed safely at work because this "friend" failed to mention she had tested positive (she knew already by the time of our lunch date, she has since admitted) and had figured since she had no symptoms there was no harm in being in public.

FF only a few days later and I was feeling a little unwell but had put it off as an effect of the winter blast that had just hit where I live. I'd spent half a day out in the cold and snow for a photoshoot only the day before and thought it was probably due to that since I'm susceptible to weather influenced head colds and bronchitis. Fortunately, my job mandates a rigid COVID-19 screening twice a week due to our high profile clientele and as an assurance of health and safety for us all. Mine read back with a positive and with the way I had been feeling I was immediately sent home and the company closed its doors while the building was sterilized and our clients notified.

Thankfully I managed not to infect anyone I work with nor my son. Regrettably, I did infect my best friend since we're horrifically incapable of maintaining personal space and have weak shit immune systems. We both agree it is a wonder we made it this far into plague times without it catching us.

So I went and got looked over and sent on my way with my prescription of potent anti-virals and steroids. I was well prepared to abide the quarantine guidelines and had sent my son to my mother's home for the duration so that he was out of the danger zone. It was fine, I was kinda cool and keen on getting a few days to myself to rest up and all that jazz. But it wasn't meant to last and I found trouble in the form of being unable to remain conscious much at all and would pass out constantly. After a few times of this I gave my brother (he's a doctor and vaccinated) a ring and told him that my fatigue was no joke dude and needed him to come give me a better once over than the one I'd gotten before bc I was sure I was not meant to feel this badly. He found me unconscious in the shower that night, my head battered from crashing to the basin.

After ensuring I wasn't concussed and jokes on what a hard head I have to take such a beating and show no signs of registering it beyond bruising (a joke between us due to him having once accidentally put a golf club into my forehead and fracturing my skull but that's a different story) he told me to call him regularly so that he can review how I feel and the progression of my symptoms and left. By the morning I had already had two more instances of sudden fatigue and collapsing in on myself. I had been posting on my main blog here about how I was doing and due to this I caught the concern of @peekbackstage and upon their suggestion to have my O2 levels tested it was revealed that I was having issues with my blood not circulating oxygen as it should and nearing hypoxia.

Here's the rub. I have a heart condition that is already very dangerous and bleak which limits my heart's capability of delivering blood through my body as it should. Cardiomyopathy or, as it seems better known, congestive heart failure. I've had surgery for it and it has been a while since it caused me any real issues as long as I stick to my routine of care and manage my health, but when COVID-19 infiltrated my body it immediately snagged upon this weak heart of mine and sank its fangs in.

Within a day of being admitted to the hospital I had a grand mal seizure due to the constant fluctuations of oxygen in my blood and the way my body was working double time to supplement for it. And only 2 days after that and when my nervous system had finally quieted down, I went into full cardiac arrest with a heart attack at my young age.

My next weeks were spent connected to machines doing more for me than my own body could. I developed pneumonia in my lungs, acute though it was it was still another complication that my wrecked body had to overcome as it made my already ragged breathing even worse. I was steadily shedding muscle tone and definition due to a lack of mobility and the fact that my body felt like a deadweight I could hardly take command of, and generally very weakened. My heart, the horrible thing, was inflamed and trying too hard by beating too fast, too hard.

FF some more and I was doing fairly well and treatments were showing some improvement. My heart was still being an ugly and gnarled beast in my chest and throwing weird spikes on the monitor that raised alarms. The pneumonia was retreating and I had no further seizures. It was the dawning light of my first signs that I was recovering!

It took a while more and so fucking many tests day in and day out for me get cleared for release. I tested negative for COVID-19 and was ashamed that I actually forgot that that was why I was even in the hospital to begin with, given all that happened. I have to undergo physical therapy and counseling; PT for heart happy exercises as well as to manage to my depleted muscles, counseling bc I was rocked mentally from all the almost dying and the depressive haze of being holed up in the hospital and surrounded by people who, like me, came in with COVID-19 but unlike me did not come out of it.

I'm home now. I had to have a pacemaker implanted and must stay vigilant for any showing that my heart is not performing as it should. I still have some severe inflammation and chest restriction in my airways as well as my blood vessels but nothing too daunting. I also have a full battalion of prescriptions, most for my heart, and a nebulizer to ease any breathing issues. The worst is honestly that I still am very weak and have severely limited reserves of energy.

My job is required to make me take 12 weeks of leave for rest and recuperation. This is very upsetting since I had been requested by name to be an assistant stylist at the Grammys this year which is truly a dream (especially with BTS in the mix 😩😩) and also bc I'm just a workaholic by nature and love my job. When I return I am expected to learn how to properly delegate tasks that do not directly require me to handle and slow down the pacing of my projects. My boss terminated a contract with a client that was nearing the scheduled end of our agreement and was also incredibly problematic to help lighten my workload. It's imperative that I reign in my stress levels or my heart will not last until the next surgery I'll need, so I'm gritting my teeth and letting my job be picked apart to reduce my responsibilities.

My post awaits my return but I will not be returning to full activity for a while after, which means no rifling through the racks for hours alongside the archivists in search of the perfect piece. I'll be welcome to meet with my clients and oversee the glam teams, will still be the command tower for final verdicts on which styles to use. But I will not be running around showrooms nor personally handling matters any competent trainee could be tasked with like I've always done. I will no longer be able to fly out anywhere for destination shoots or fashion shows.

If, after my next surgery, things are better and my heart stable to the point that they are hopeful of things will be reevaluated. While it is difficult beyond measure for me to relinquish the reigns of my career and be restricted in what I can do now, I am very thankful to be alive and upright when that wasn't a certainty just a little while ago. This is such a humbling experience to have survived when my stats kept dropping every day. I've been told to expect that I will never make a full 100% recovery and to expect to stall out around the 70%-90% range, with 70% being the most realistic.

My best friend (the one I gave the plague to) will be moving in with me so that I am never on my own if things go tits up and to assist in wrangling a toddler since I am currently without the energy to do so as my child is, sincerely, a crazy gremlin spawn with limitless battery life. Slowly, my life will regain some normalcy 💖

#racks asks #personal and long winded - read at own risk

30 notes · View notes

f-117-nighthawk · 3 years

Text

Playlist Update? From MY Brain? More Likely Than You Think

can't remember the last time I posted these all together but I just put a few new songs in. I've been playing Arknights bc STARSET songs keep being used in the trailers, and then I was listening to Transmissions while making dinner, and uhhhhh there's two new Transmissions songs on the playlists, plus whatever else the spotify links needed to update to my ever-changing apple versions.

This is just the main playlist, because this one is now 3h 40m, and the other three playlists are about an hour each. I’ll give them their own post tomorrow. Under the cut, because it's also Write Random Snippits and Include Important Lyrics time

Dark Matter

Surprise surprise, this one’s got probably the most work done on it. A lot of that is moving things around, a few deletions, and the additions.

DM now starts with Your World Will Fail, Dark Matter, and Eater of Worlds. Turn the Lights Out still kinda applies, but I stopped vibing with it starting everything, and wasn’t really sure where else it should go so it got dropped. It’s role is sort of picked up by a UtA song later? Anyway, the opening three are still very much about not only the birth of [REDACTED], but the birth of the universe itself. And that’s why it feels better to start out with YWWF. Because it is the start.

(Your world will fail my love/It’s far beyond repair/Your world will fail my love/It is already there)

(Bring me your soul/Bring me your hate/In my name you will create/Bring me your fear/Bring me your pain/You will destroy in my name)

(Can’t imagine the violence/The rage and the love in my madness/I am the eater of worlds and I’m looking for someone to feed me)

Remnants of Stars is a hook to Filaments at this point, but stays way up here because the thing it’s about connects back up to those three ^ and is something slowly realized by the Paladins throughout the series. There’s kinda three different points that they realize something new about this (at the moment, I Am the One, Cosmic Vertigo, and Centigrade).

(Shed all you know and make way for a galaxy of light/Answers found hidden inside the smallest stone/Bringing forth a new way of life/Open your heart to the sky)

Apocalypse 1992 hasn’t changed. Still about The Fall, still the turning point for the entire damn war. Still about poor Krolia. Still the Rogue One of DM. It happens between parts of Awakenings, detailing the rise of [REDACTED] and the final hours before the destruction of everything sentient species knew beforehand.

(Fly high through apocalypse skies/Fight for the world we must save/Like tears of a unicorn lost in the rain/Chaos will triumph this day)

Apex is the final moments of Apocalypse 1992 from the Red Lion’s perspective, and connects nicely (just as in the albums lol) to the next UtA songs. Which we’ll get to in a bit.

(Brother mountain/Now we sleep/For a thousand years/I will see you again/Something is coming/Coming for me)

You Keep What You Kill covers the slow degeneration of the Empire between The Fall and the Battle of Arus. The knowledge harshly taught by the Thuanial War is forgotten under the influence of Zarkon, Haggar, and [REDACTED]. Marzin and Galraasa quickly rise the ranks as the Empire’s left and right hands, like omens of destruction before them. The four are the ‘holy half-dead,’ the ones who shape the devouring of the universe before them.

(Defying dimensions/These ruthless creatures will steal your soul/Breaking away from the chains of mortality/They won’t be taken down/Bow now to the holy half dead/The master to death mongers calls)

The Glory and the Scum is partially here bc I missed having Delain, I’ll freely admit that. (Delain split up! Like six months ago! I’m still sad!) Here, it’s (most) of the reason why Krolia isn’t around until MGHM. Think Winter Soldier-ish. It’s also from Krolia’s perspective as she’s talking to Kolivan in a conversation I implied in Shatterpoint. Perhaps it shall see the light of day.

(Look at what we've done/Take a step back/Shake your head at what we have become/We're the glory and the scum)

The Seven Sisters is about Keith, mostly, and connected to Closure via its influence on Child From the Stars (Lost in the Dark) and also to Memories of a Girl I Haven’t Met. Also the thing about the Pleiades has kinda become A Thing associated with my two favorite halfbloods.

(I cast my hope upon The Pleiades/The Seven Sisters who would come for me/They’d fall to Earth to grant a child’s dream/But I’m still waiting)

Starlight is the Adashi song. Here, it’s the sad part, based around the time that the SFSS Genesis launches for Kerberos. It also is sort of about Shiro’s thoughts throughout the war as he watches ‘from distant skies’ (and influences String Theory kinda)

(At night the earth will rise/And I’ll think of you each time I watch from distant skies/Whenever stars go down and galaxies ignite/I’ll think of you each time they wash me in their light/And I’ll fall in love with you again)

Waking Dream and Abyss are Awakenings. They’re specifically the Red Lion waking up on Sendak’s ship to her new Paladin, but also sort of the rest of the Lions as they find new Paladins for the first time since The Fall (and, also, an accidental hook to the end of Filaments just by virtue of being on the same UtA album…)

(Centuries like flowing streams as years go rushing by/Waiting in the dark for afterlife)

(Open my eyes in a daze/How long has it been? Am I so out of place?/Warmth I can no longer feel/My mountain is gone, I’m surrounded by steel/The strangest of structures arises ahead/Seems to be held up by nothing/Where have I gone, do I dream?/How can the stars be all I can see?)

Who Will Save You Now is about the Paladins in First Contact. It’s the video messages they send to their families, the warning that Something Is Out Here that they need to prepare for. It’s a declaration of protection for Earth, but a recognition that the Paladins may not be able to do what they say.

(I will not take from you and you will not owe/I will protect you from the fire below/It’s not in my mind/It’s here at my side/Go tell the world that I’m still alive)

Then there’s The End of the Beginning. Which is, well, the eponymous fic. And don’t forget the String Theory connection! Fun fact: part of the last chapter leads directly into part of String Theory at the moment.

(Every night I die just a little/All this time, I’m caught in the middle/All your life, you fought with no winning/This is just the end of the beginning)

A Simple Plan is about anything but a simple plan. Lotor is making his secret bid for the construction of the Sinkline ships, but there’s one more thing he needs before it can come to fruition. Haggar has suspicions, and knows one thing that she needs to keep from both him and Voltron. Team Voltron is still struggling to fit into their new roles, especially with a Black Paladin who adamantly does not want to be Black Paladin, and is in desperate need of one thing to fix the last of the damage done during the Battle of the Sarnan Nebula.

(How long can we hold off ending?/How long can we pretend we’re ok?/No one goes on fighting it forever/I know I’m better this way)

Memories of a Girl I Haven’t Met. Such a short song for such an important fic. It skips all the way over Naxzela to the Mission to the Baaria Shipyards, the first major offensive that isn’t somehow connected to canon (even if only a very very small part of it is actually at the shipyards lol). This is also the song that solidified Keith’s very queer identity in Dark Matter. And more Pleiades stuff!

(In this lonely place, bathed in silence and thoughts of you/I can’t see your face but I’m trying to envision you/So are you really out there? Are you awake with memories/Of a boy you haven’t met yet who’s wished upon the Pleiades?)

There’s another fic in here that I’m still waiting for a song to catch my ear, but it’s pretty big so I’m putting it in here. For the moment, it’s called MGHM 2.0: Electric Paladinloo. Featuring the Whispers, Voltron, and a few mullets.

And then. Hoh boy. The beast of beats. TRIALS (reimagine), Dark On Me, String Theory, and I Am the One. We’ve got [REDACTED], we’ve got [spoiler], we’ve got the first major turning point in the entire war, and the first revelation of the true nature of [REDACTED]. Hence the honor of being the separation point of my two main DM folders. TRIALS is the first part, the horrifying realization. Dark On Me and String Theory itself are from Shiro’s perspective. I Am the One is… an image song? I guess? That’s all I’ll say on that. (I would like to note that the STARSET songs bar OWtT tend to be about the Shiroganes…)

(Hear me from the bottom/Forged in regret, I'm the silversmith/Doomsday, you we had it coming/Marching the streets with an iron fist/Obey no more in silence/The steel in our hearts will be monuments/Today, they'll hear the violence/We'll rise from the dark like Lazarus)

(You're the cause/The antidote/The sinking ship that I could not let go/You led my way, then disappeared/How could you just walk away and leave me here?/Light the night up, you're my dark star/And now you're falling away)

(You don’t believe in space/You don’t believe in light/You don’t believe that anything is well beyond your might/We walk across the sky and beneath the ocean floor/We’re never going anywhere we’ve never been before)

(I am the one/I am the architect to rule your fate)

House on Fire is the aftermath of String Theory, and a large vibe of We ARE Struggling Together! It’s about family, never letting go of something you care about, and the slow act of trusting.

(So I’ll just hold you like a hand grenade/You touch me like a razor blade/I wish there was some other way right now/Like a house on fire we’re up in flames/I’d burn here if that’s what it takes/To let you know I won’t let go of you)

Belgrade is The klance song! It is a) a bop b) always stuck in my head because it is That Good. The line in the chorus about ‘sweet songs of seduction’ is eternally funny to me bc a)they’re both ace and b)QPR’s don’t usually involve seduction. Belgrade also leads almost directly into…

(We pretend in the darkness/We pretend the night won’t steal our youth/Singing me the sweet songs of seduction/Let me be the fool, fool, fool/Who will live and die for you)

Here to Save You is about Sam. Mostly. It’s also about Pidge. And Zaivorge cannons.

(A slave for humankind/I made sure I would survive/To stay alive/Now it’s time to move on/When there’s nothing left to prove/I’m coming to get you)

Iron is the third Closure fic (the second is End of the Beginning, forgot to mention that. They’ve slowly moved away from actually being related to it in anything but name and general idea). It’s about Keith coming to terms with parts of himself, and learning how to use them to great effect. Also has a huge info dump about the Blade.

(You can’t live without the fire/It’s the heat that makes you strong/‘Cause you’re born to live/And fight it all the way/You can’t hide what lies inside you/It’s the only thing you know/You’re embracing that, never walk away)

The second major turning point in the war is Monarch, Birthright, and Firewall. I really recommend reading the whole lyrics for Monarch, because the entire thing is very much a Lotor song. I had a bit of trouble picking a lyric to use here. Monarch is here because Lotor is also the ‘singer’ of Birthright, and both songs are to a very specific high-level target of the Coalition. Firewall is a little different as it’s a Team Voltron song not a Lotor song, but happens because of the same thing the other two do. They’re all not exactly a direct result of Iron, but they wouldn’t happen how they do without it, and then [REDACTED] swings back into the fray and things learned in String Theory/the framing story for Through Apocalypse Skies hit in full force.

(I am not the person you remember from before/The one you patronized and stepped on, the one you hurt/And I have pulled the arrows, now my skin has become stone/No longer am I prisoner to your empty fucking words)

(The voices in my head have all begun to sing/(The voices in your head have all begun to sing)/And they sure as hell hope I am listening/(I sure as hell hope you are listening!))

(They come to your dreams with illusion/They come to bring shape to your mind/You know how to stop the intrusion/We all have to fight for our lives)

and then, The Day the Earth Collapsed

(How much time has been elapsed/Since the day the earth collapsed?)

Here Comes the Reign doesn’t come into full effect until several months after Birthright/Firewall, but starts with The Day the Earth Collapsed. It’s largely about Haggar and [REDACTED]

(You made something they can’t take away/Now bring the fire of the burning sun on everyone)

Supersonic is here… kinda as a placeholder? Things have shifted around since its original purpose, and frankly it’s here still as a framework for what I like to call The Meme Battle. It’s generally about the increase in Coalition support and general winning as they go after warlords in the aftermath of Feyiv, culminating in I Need a Hero which is, of course, The Meme Battle.

Yes, it’s the Shrek version. It’s the Meme Battle.

(Supersonic, polyphonic, this is our war/Mustering the armies, marching faster than before)

(I need a hero/I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night/He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast/And he's gotta be fresh from the fight)

But Tonight We Dance isn’t exactly a klance song, but it’s here for them. On a diplomatic mission gone wrong, the Red and Blue Paladins of Voltron uncover a literally-buried government conspiracy, a rebel cell, and nearly die. A normal days work for the two of them. But they’ve really gotta stop having relationship milestones in the middle of a warzone.

Another reason it’s here is Tonight We Dance is a very aro song to me. “A language universal, but I speak not its tongue” hits hard. I felt like I needed a bit in here to remind listeners/readers that romance isn’t a language Keith speaks. And it becomes very explicit in this fic, just like Belgrade.

(Tomorrow we might wake in servitude and silence/I will give you everything if only you would have me/Tomorrow we will sweat and toil/Our hands will quiver, caked with soil/Tomorrow we'll give it one last chance/But tonight we dance/But tonight we dance!)

But Tonight We Dance is the last of the Closure fics, which is why it’s here. Closure in general is a lot of Keith’s character development and some of the struggles he goes through to accept his place in the universe and the fact that yes, he does have people that care about him. The last fic is me shining a brighter light on Closure’s chorus and taking a ‘last goodbye’ as never needing to say it again

(I am the child from the stars/That got lost in the dark/Between heaven and hell/I am forced to live on/I am the cause when you sin/I am the demon you skin/But there is no more tears to beautify/This is my last goodbye)

Then we step back into the universe-level action with Soulbound. Revelations from String Theory and Firewall swing back in with a vengeance on a joint Whispers-Voltron mission, leaving them reeling and Krolia questioning her very identity.

(Soulbound, endlessly forever/Locked between the darkness and the light/Don’t drown in the swarming, blackened rising/Hold on to humanity and fight)

About three months after that is My Darkest Hour and Faster Than Light. Haggar realizes something and goes searching for her fifth [spoiler], sending the Blade and the rest of the Coalition scrambling. These also lead directly, and I mean directly, into…

(When the sun comes crashing down/When the world is spinning round and round/I will face what must be my darkest hour)

(Once more we’re flying fast as light/Dark matter passing in the night/Pursued by a force we can’t outrun/As we hurtle towards a dying sun/We maneuver through the remnants of a moon/On the solar winds of supernovas/There is not a place to hide, the Matriarch is close behind/It’s plain to see she’s coming for us all)

Cosmic Vertigo and Other Worlds Than These. Together they are the second of two revelations in what, exactly, is [REDACTED]

(Banish me like burned down planets/Write my fate with sparkling lies/I am the universe; you're just one sky)

(Pull the wool out from your eyes/It won’t shade your frail belief/In the end we cannot hide/There are other worlds than these)

Godhunter is Team Voltron, well, hunting for gods, even as one of them disappears.

(She’s been watching for a century/With hatred, and with scorn/If you know the hunter’s coming/Then you hide or keep on running/'Cause she’s slain the gods before)

Trophy Hunter, Ember, and Redemption are the culmination of Godhunter. I’ve been thinking of them as akin to the suicide mission in Mass Effect 2, if that gives you an idea of what the hell they run into. Also I switched which specific Redemption is on the playlist, because I was listening to Red Handed Denial again and their Redemption was vibing way more than the Hammerfall one. They link up to Godhunter and Soulbound in subject matter, and lead directly into…

(You, you won’t escape me, I’ll rise from the deep/In this final moment, no words left to say/I can’t let you be when a life fades away/You, you won’t escape me ‘cause I’ll set you free)

(Dark matter falling from the sky/Dancing flames reflecting in your eyes as you watch them burn/Watching all your riches witches burn)

(Remember me not for the mess I’ve made/But who I could have been/Finally I’m going home)

World On Fire, This is a Call, The Reckoning, The Wind That Shapes the Land, and Louder Than Words. Switched the order up a bit so it makes more sense chronologically, because the message ‘sent by forces beyond salvation’ has to get there before the reckoning can begin.

(World on fire with a smoking sun/Stops everything and everyone/Brace yourself for all will pay/Help is on the way)

(This is a call to action/This is a call to arms/All lives for one, together/There are no false alarms)

(I see your face, find peace of mind/Between the madness and the sadness and the fire burning/The end of war, the great divine/We’ll see the day of reckoning)

(Search within/Uncover the will to win/Turn against the tide that washes o'er/Find the strength to fall and rise again/Open up the gates, unleash the force/I am the wind that shapes the land/Old as time and twice as strong/Oceans arise at my command/I alone can carry on)

(We have the force to fight/We have the blinding light/A war is more than heard/Coming in louder than words)

#i am dark matter; your road to ruin #dm playlists #guess who spent two hours on this! again!#as usual!#long post #i'm teaching in the morning and it's one am #oops

6 notes · View notes

inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

Note

hi, do you have some Johnlock shower sex fics (maybe bottomlock) ? thank you,love your blogs

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: Καλημέρα (or good afternoon depending where your from😁) Would you by any chance have any fics of john and sherlock like showering together? It could be smut or not, I just think that showering with your s/o is kinda cute and they would be adorable 🥺 Thank You 🥰

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: Hey, I was wondering if you have any fluffy bath-sharing fics?

Hi Nonny!

Aww, thanks, I’m glad you enjoy my blog!

AHHHH Okay so I know I have a tonne of fics with Shower Sex, but I haven’t started retagging fics until recently with this because someone asked me AGES ago with them, LOL

SHOWERING / BATHING TOGETHER

Through A Glass by Mildredandbobbin (M, 2,012 w., 1 Ch. || Voyeurism, Masturbation, First Kiss) – There is an adjoining door in the bathroom at 221B that leads into Sherlock’s bedroom. The door, from the bathroom to Sherlock’s bedroom, is made of three glass, semi-opaque panels. It has suddenly come to Sherlock’s attention that if he stands in exactly the right spot in his bedroom he can see through said panels, and more to the point, can see John.

Bathroom Accessories by Evenlodes_Friend (E, 3,324 w., 1 Ch. || Sex Toys, Butt Plug, First Kiss / Time, Romance, Horny Sherlock, John’s Patience Wears Thin, Humour, Bottomlock) – John discovers that Sherlock has been playing with some very adult toys in the bath.

Uninhibited by 221b_hound (M, 4,293 w., 1 Ch. || Bathing/Washing, Naked Cuddling, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Big Brother Mycroft, Relationship Negotiation, Massage, Sherlock Has a Low Libido, Pet Names) – Sherlock and John have been apart for the first time since Sherlock returned from the dead. Neither of them has had a good day. John's gets worse when Mycroft comes to Baker Street in Sherlock's absence to warn John Watson against disappointing his brother by expecting things to change. Mycroft has misjudged things rather badly. But finally he sods off and leaves John and Sherlock to reconnect, to give and receive comfort, and show each other that they are, indeed, perfectly matched. Part 15 of Unkissed

Linger by queenoftrivia (E, 4,879 w., 1 Ch. || Lingerie, Fluff and Smut, BJ / HJ, Switchlock, Sherlock in Lingerie, Come Play, Dirty Talk, Anal Fingering, Anal/Oral, Implied Shower Sex, Neck Kissing) – Sherlock decides to surprise John after a somewhat stressful day at work.

What Happens in Vegas (is legally binding in the United Kingdom) by moonblossom (E, 5,051 w., 1 Ch. || Accidental Marriage, Friends to Husbands to Lovers, CSI Crossover, Fluff & Porn, Bathtub Sex, Hand Jobs, First Time) – When a case sends the boys to Vegas, John comes out of it with a bit more than he bargained for. Part 19 of Prompt Fills, Remixes, Works inspired by others

The Bathing Habits of Dr. John H. Watson by scullyseviltwin (T, 5,077 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Happy Endings, Domestics, Baths, Slice of Life Snippets) – The knocks come crisply—three raps and then a long span of quiet. Slumping down further, John makes every effort to ignore the intrusion and relaxes as best he can in the less-than-ideal space available. If he doesn’t move, maybe he’ll be left in peace. There’s a brief respite of silence and then, again, three more raps on the door, in faster succession this time, followed by, “John, it’s been an hour, how can you possibly—” “We agreed two, two hours.” There’s no room for argument; John’s tone makes that very clear.It sounds as though Sherlock’s mouth is pressed right to the door when he next speaks. “What if I need the toilet!?”

Just Like That by sussexbound (E, 8,442 w., 1 Ch. || First Time/Kiss, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock, French Kissing, Anal, Emotional Lovemaking, Enthusiastic Consent, Tenderness, Crying John, Bathing/Washing, Insecure John, Toplock) – John doesn’t want to talk anymore. He wants. Oh dear god, how he wants. For the first time in what feels like years he WANTS.

Johnlock Ficlet Collection by Irrevocably_Sherlocked (E, 11,505+ w., 16/? Ch. [WiP] | Random Ficlets, Pining, Angst, Fluff & Smut, Parentlock, AU’s, First Kiss, Character POV’s) - Just a collection of Johnlock ficlets, originally posted on my Tumblr page.

I'll Meet You in Hong Kong by alexxphoenix42 (E, 12,767 w., 5 Ch. || Freebatch RPF || Phone / Shower Sex, Infidelity, Polyamory, Bit of Angst, Cuddles) – Benedict and Martin's busy, busy schedules have them grabbing a few nights together in Hong Kong during Ben's Doctor Strange junket. They both have news to share. While this does pick up after the story "Forever 1895," you don't absolutely have to read that one to dive on in here. Part 2 of Forever Freebatch

A Hundred Thousand Ways to Say the Name John by Jberry (E, 16,825 w., 1 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Fake Marriage, POV John, Pining John, Cruise Ship, Angst & Fluff, Case Fic) – John Watson and Sherlock Holmes must solve a case on a cruise ship. To get close to the crew and passengers, they must get married for the case on the Baetica. However, their relationship hits rocky seas both due to the case and internal conflicts. Part 1 of Baetica

John Watson doesn't have a Boyfriend by naughtyspirit (E, 18,932 w., 7 Ch. || UST / URT, Fluff & Smut, Voyeurism, Masturbation) – John's date has gone very well. Sherlock requires tea. John wishes he hadn't resolved that their relationship was strictly hands off and isn't about to address it. Unless he has to. Smut, fluff and shower time for a naked John Watson.

Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b (E, 20,004 w., 6 Ch. || Retirement, Sussex, Bees, Home Improvement, First Time, Romance) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing. They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you're living to find the life you want. Part 1 of Through The Clouds

The Whore of Babylon Was a Perfectly Nice Girl by out_there (E, 32,897 w., 1 Ch. || Past Drug Use, Blowjobs, Toplock, Mentions of Switching, Rough Sex, Background Cases, Sherlock’s Past, Sherlock’s Sexual History, Experienced Sherlock, Past One Night Stands, Fingering, Cuddling, Possessive Sherlock, Paris Holiday, Bed Sharing, Naked Lie-Ins, Bathing Together, Confessions, Worried Sherlock, Laying in Bed All Day, Meddling Mycroft, Naked Lazy Day) – Sherlock walks into a room and takes all the space right out of it. He does the same inside John's head.

Right Hand Man by SilentAuror (E, 42,031 w., 4 Ch. || H/C, Injury, Slow Burn) – When John's left arm becomes paralysed after a car accident, Mary asks Sherlock to take him back to Baker Street to recuperate, as she's about to give birth. Despite the fact that the search for Moriarty is ongoing, Sherlock takes John in and takes responsibility for overseeing his rehabilitation as he adjusts to the loss of his arm.

The Case of the Vanishing Pants by SwissMiss (E, 44,025 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Post-TRF, Case Fic, UST, Homophobia, Friends to Lovers, Pining John, Showering Together, Couple for a Case, Sherlock’s Bum, Fantasies, Jealous Sherlock) – Five times John and Sherlock lost their pants in the course of a case.

The Real Great Perfumers by shelleysprometheus (E, 45,355 w., 68 Ch. || Case Fic, Alternating POV, Gay Sherlock / Bi John, Canon Compliant with Divergence at TRF, Friends to Lovers, Oral / Anal, Pining, First Kiss / Time, Dev. Rel., Drugging, Body Worship, Bathing, Love Confessions, Travelling, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock, BJ’s, Alternating POV, Jealous John) – The case, this case. This extraordinary, fascinating, scintillating case. A house. Designed entirely by its eccentric owner, built by no less than five hundred expert tradesmen in the heart of Marrakesh. A house that had, seemingly not only driven its owner out, but also to his quite unpleasant death. And a perfumer, a chemist no less, the very thought of the secrets that house could reveal, would reveal was irresistible. Sherlock had to have this case ... and it seems, he also had to have John! Part 1 of the Forethought and Fire series

Guilty Secrets by Ellipsical (E, 55,086 w., 16 Ch. || Drumsticks, First Kiss/Time, Love Confession, Self-Sexual-Discovery, Anal, Rimming, Orgasim Denial, Butt Plugs, Cooking, Furniture Sex, Bath Sex, Rimming, Double Penetration, Prostate Massage, Anal Beads, Dancing, Romance, Tantric Edging, Internalized Homophobia, Case as Foreplay) – John has a prostate exam and discovers something surprising about himself. Experimentation follows. Sherlock wants to help. They're in love. You know the drill.

The Moonlight and the Frost by CaitlinFairchild (E, 77,289 w., 10 Ch. || Case Fic, Post-HLV, Self Harm, Virgin Sherlock, First Time, Oral/Anal/Rimming, Romance, Angst, Mary is Not Nice) – John has to somehow rebuild his life in the wake of Mary's betrayal and Sherlock's deceptions.

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face." Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU || BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w., 36 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Alternate Future AU || Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Hand Jobs / Oral Sex, Case Fic, Emotional Love Making, Bath Time Fun) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It's 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn't need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift.

Two Two One Bravo Baker by abundantlyqueer (E, 114,574 w., 27 Ch. || Military AU || Afghanistan, War Story, Thriller, Switchlock, Rimming, Emotional Lovemaking, Lots of Sex, HJ/BJ’s) – Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John? Part 1 of Two Two One Bravo Baker Universe

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #showering #bathing #my fic recs #Anonymous

201 notes · View notes

ignitification · 3 years

Text

@stardabi this is so cute, thanks for the tag)) I enjoyed doing this ✨

Why did you choose your url?

I had an unhealthy obsession for raspberry flavoured chupa-chups in middle school. I still do have one for raspberries (they are just a banger fruit).

Any side blogs?

Yeah, two. One I use to reblog everything that I like which might not have any relation to whatever I post on main. The other one is just a small writing blog.

How long have you been on tumblr?

Way too long, I think it was around 2011/2 and I never once changed my url (lmao) - but this is actually my second blog with the same name, because I accidentally deleted my (almost) 10 years blog because of a distraction (rip) - and then I created this one around 6 months ago.

Do you have a queue tag?

I do, (q), but to be honest, I forget to tag it like that like half of the time.

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Because I came back on here to post for anime/manga/kpop but the other blog got deleted, so eek - but so many years ago because it was the site that everyone who wanted to feel edge had. I needed a place to vent.

Why did you choose your icon?

Because I honestly unfollowed few blogs because of anti Baku posts, and I needed to make a statement that I will never let go and stop supporting my favourite feral gremlin.

Why did you choose your header?

I honestly wanted to change the face of the blog, and had a craving to make it look red (dark red specifically), and that day I discovered that I had that picture saved, so I just polished it and put it up.

What’s your post with the most notes?

I have no damn clue on why this exact post got so many notes (and still does, like dudes stop liking this) because it is literally two pictures. (also look at those tags, jeez).

How many followers do you have?

I literally lose around 3 followers (averagely) a day, so not many, really, 325 (as of June 9, 19:34)

How many people do you follow?

197 Tumblrs.

Have you ever made a shitpost?

Lately a lot because I feel more comfortable about doing it on main lmao.

How often do you use Tumblr?

I’m usually here twice during a single hour, I don’t have a life - what do you think.

Did you have a fight/argument with a blog once?

Big ass lmao. Only once? I receive hate comments, or just shit anons everyday - and I usually try to avoid discussing but sometimes the bs is too much, so yeah few times (and I blocked them afterwards lol)

How do you feel about “you need to reblog this post”?

I think it’s up to the person if they want to rb or not, no one should be forced to do anything (yes, I understand that for content creators is necessary - but people will rb even without you telling them to).

Do you like tag games? do you like ask games?

Absolutely yeah. I tend to rb a lot but they usually get ignored, and I am kinda afraid to tag people - but it’s always such a pleasure to see that people tagged me (even though, sometimes I just don’t feel up to do it).

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

As long as they are famous on my Tumblr, the rest is irrelevant.

Do you have a crush on a mutual?

No, but I admire every single one of them and their absolutely giant brain everyday.

tagging: @todomitoukei @tcuya @todosiblings @hamliet

#i exclusively tagged mutuals i am intimidated to interact with #pls don't kill me #and let me know if you aren't comfortable with being tagged #tag game #mutuals #personal #: sunn-blogs #<3

7 notes · View notes

gallickingun · 3 years

Note

I saw your list of WIPs and my body is ready for the Bakugou ones 😍 can you drop a crumb of what they’ll be about? Especially the fantasy one? Fantasy Bakugou is my favorite 👉👈🥺

ive missed writing for kacchan so much 😭 i have so so so many ideas for him, so i hope you guys enjoy the ao3 content 💗 but so far as my current wips, here's some info!

also shameless plug and lil reminder all these stories will be posted to my AO3 which can be found by clicking this text!

♡ bakugou x belle (oc) : origin story - belle and bakugou are like passing ships in the night for most of their early lives — always barely grazing sails, never boarding onto one anothers deck — until bakugou has a public media snafu and is required by his agency to perform public service hours to make up for his bad behavior. he meets the now-doctor and realizes there's a lot more to her than meets the eye. however, she has a general disdain for heroes after what she's been through (being forced to use her quirk despite not knowing how to control it, all for "the sake of saving others") and what she's seen (hero after hero break their bones and shatter their spirits in the name of justice, only to be cast aside when they no longer provide enough entertainment value to be leveraged for the lining of the pockets of those in charge), when all bakugou knows is striving to be the number one hero. aka I suck at summaries but I promise this fic is gonna be real good.

♡ vigilante!shouto aka todobats — after losing shouto's father and brothers in a kidnapping gone wrong, shouto's mother is labeled clinically insane and his sister runs away to europe to pursue her dreams and escape reality. shouto is the only eligible heir remaining to run the enterprise his father built before his death. the media sees him as the rich playboy he proves himself to be during the day, but what they do not see is the way he cares for the city once the sun goes down and the stars come out. when he meets the charity organization's president (reader), he's surprised to find that the corruption of his city may bleed closer to home than he originally believed.

♡ fantasy!bakugou + arranged marriage — after your father angered a wizard, there was a dual curse set on your head, the threat of your kingdom's demise looming in the shadows that settle on your shoulders. the curse is that you would be expected to fall in love by your twenty second birthday, and that you would be given the gift of persuasion. the catch? you are unable to use your gift to trap a life mate. prince bakugou katsuki of the dragon nation was the only eligible prince remaining, and so your game of lies begins. your father arranges the marriage, and you are expected to seduce the prince. however, the two of you decide that the only way to win over the wizard is to trick him — by convincing the entire kingdom you're madly in love. (again WOW i suck at summaries i promise the fic will be good lol, lots of plot twists involving bakugous mother and kirishima and wizards and quirks and.. yeah)

♡ moving target part two [bakugou bodyguard au] —bakugou has returned to life as a pro hero, with a personal side mission to teach you how to use your quirk [control over organic matter]. now that its been exposed to the world that one of the most famous quirkless men has a daughter with a power that can kill, there is a new gang after your head. navigating a new relationship, learning how to control a power you've never used, and running from the underground can be a lot for a girl who might have been considered a princess not more than a few months ago. oh, however will you cope.

♡ soft!sakusa fic — you have been telling all your friends about the man you've been seeing for the past few months, and they can't wait to meet him. you tell them he's kind and patient and complimentary and he cannot get enough of you, handsy as he can be. so imagine their surprise when you introduce sakusa kiyoomi, a man they know as cold and calculating and aloof. this man and the man you've described could never be the same! (aka a cute fic about sakusa being soft for you and standoffish for everyone else)

♡ sakusa autumn nights fic - fake dating au + there was only one bed + meet the parents — sakusa meets you one night when he's out at a party with his msby teammates. he's confused, but smitten with you, and when his mother badgers him for what feels like the millionth time about a girlfriend, he accidentally blurts that he's dating you. somehow he gets roped into bringing you to dinner, but... he's gotta get your number first.

♡ mob au + pro athlete!oikawa x con-artist!reader — you have only ever known how to be a thief. its how you've found yourself a home in this argentinian casino every saturday night, scheming and cheating and lying just to feed your greed. and those whom you owe money to. so you do not expect the kindness of the pro athlete you know to be oikawa tooru, but that does not stop you from draining him of every last peso to his name. his flashy rings and watches and suit all show you exactly what you need to know- that he has money, and he's careless with it. the car he drives says as much. but after finding him at the casino every weekend, you grow fond of him, and its no longer a game of dollar signs, but one of hearts and souls. so when there is a hit placed on your head by the mob who owns the casino, you have to come clean to oikawa in hopes that he will understand your predicament.

♡ farmboy!kirishima — your typical hallmark movie. no ingenuity at all lol. but you are the daughter of a ceo tycoon in nyc, and all your daddy wants to do is buy up small towns and commercialize them for profit, to make them look picture perfect like a snowglobe. you are his number one real estate agent, and he sends you on a mission to buy up a small town a few hours away. when you meet the townsfolk, including the man who owns the farm that puts the food on the table for most of the residents, can he change your outlook on small towns versus the big city?

♡ college sports au series - bakugou, todoroki, midoriya, denki, kirishima, sero, dabi, etc. — a series of x reader one shots where the boys are college athletes! baseball bakugou, soccer shouto, football kirishima, etc!

♡ single dad!bakugou x kindergarten teacher!reader — when bakugou is left to care for his daughter alone, kirishima suggests hiring a caretaker to help him out. after much persuasion, and his daughter latching onto you at first meeting, he hires you for the summer while you're between school years and can use the extra cash. you move in, and the rest is chaos. [ft. emotionally stunted bakugou who believes love is for losers because his last relationship ended in fire and procreation, but you manage to teach him that life doesn't have to be as awful as he believes] aka a spin off of my single dad shouto fic! might continue to add more single dads and make this one a series too!!

there are other fics, but those are the main ones! also check my kinktober fics list bc i will be adding all of those to AO3 as i write them as well! 💗

#morgan gets mail #anonymous

33 notes · View notes

lady-morrigen · 3 years

Text

So @heartsofbeskar tagged me in these quite some time ago, but I’m working my way through my tags and I’m way behind! Thank you, love!

1. Why did you choose your url?

Well... I felt like I needed a big change and a rebrand. Since this turned into less of a Star Wars account and more of a Pedro account, I went with my initials and the last name of one Mr. Frankie Morales bc he’s my baby.

2. Any side blogs?

Umm yes. I have the blog that I’ve had since 2011 that is my personal blog for bands and aesthetic things I like. I also have @kyl0ren-apologist as a side blog bc I know a lot of people have feelings about Kylo and I wanted a safe space for it.

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

I’ve had my personal blog for 10 years now, but I’ve been using this one as my main for about 6-7 months.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

I don’t queue a lot, but I usually use queue me up buttercup bc I’m not creative.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I don’t even want to admit this, but this blog was one that I used as an aesthetic blog for sorority/preppy things and the occasional fall/Halloween aesthetics posts. When I fell headfirst into the Star Wars/Mando/Pedro universe, I repurposed it and it took off!

7. How did you choose your header?

I actually haven’t been able to find one I like and I’m afraid of accidentally stealing anyone’s work.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

That’s gonna be Always, Forever - Friday. That story is my baby and I am so sorry to everyone who loves it for seemingly abandoning it. I will be back to it soon, I promise!

9. How many mutuals do you have?

Around 120-ish I think? Anyway, WAY more than I deserve. I love you all though. So much.

10. How many followers do you have?

Just around 315 which is HUGE for me!

11. How many blogs do you follow?

271. I did a huge purge recently so that I wasn’t following anyone who didn’t have their age in their bio.

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

I don’t even think I have to explain my most recent bout of shitposts lol but they can be fun!

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

Screen Time told me I average around 6 hours per day, but I also spend a lot of time on the desktop site as well so who actually knows?

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

I’m not bringing that negativity into this space, thank you! 😌

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I’m not sure if I even know what this is but it sounds weird.

16. Do you like tag games?

I can’t even explain how much I love them! Like someone thought of me?! WOW

17. Do you like ask games?

Literally I want the attention so... I love them as well.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I mean, there are a few that have a good amount of followers/cult like following but they’re just like... normal, kind people lol

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Too many to count lol

20. Tags!

no pressure tags: @acrossthesestars, @wyn-n-tonic, @leonieb, and literally anyone else who wants to bc I don’t want to annoy anyone with tags!

#20 questions #tag games #i love these #it's like myspace bulletins #and i'm here for it

2 notes · View notes

creativeskullcreations · 4 years

Text

Chapter 10: A Real Guilty Feeling

Hey everybody, here's chapter 10! But, unfortunately, it'll be the last chapter you see for a while. I need to take a break from writing for a while, do something else and recharge a bit. Maybe also knock out some drawings too while I'm at it.

Current timeline is looking like this: Couple of weeks without writing, and then maybe build up a bit of a buffer of chapters for <i>Outside</i>. But first, I'll be working on episode 2 of <i>Happy Times at Handeemen HQ</i>. Y'all are starting to show an interest in that, and I wanna put something new out for it.

If you want to keep updated, or even just see what I'm drawing, you can follow my art Tumblr here. Also check out my YouTube, in case of livestreams or speedpaints!(Am I plugging my own stuff too much?)

Whenever I'm ready to start posting again, I'll make sure to leave an announcement on here.

I'll see y'all later.

When Will got home, he dumped Stacy's stuff and scout on the couch. He then pointed out his locked workroom, and told her that she was never to go in there no matter what. That done, he left her to her own devices, and went off to bed. He took off his shirt and jeans, then crawled under the sheets. The last thing he did before passing out was shoot off a message to the group chat about how DnD Night was canceled until further notice.

When he woke up, far too few hours later, it was to a light weight on his chest. He stared at Scout for a moment, then picked her up and dropped her on the floor, rolling onto his front. He grabbed his phone, squinting at the too bright screen. Several messages were in the chat, and he sighed as he opened it up and scrolled to the top.

Masonary: um, excuse me?! i asked for that day off u can't cancel!!! somebody better be dead! D:<

Blooming_Stitches: Mason, shut up. We don't know what could be going on.

drWEED420: ugh, stacy. I told you to call me.

Masonary: y would stacy need to call u sam?

Masonary: is it because she hacked ur account and changed ur name again?

drWEED420 has changed their name to DrSamIAm

DrSamIAm: no but it is something we'll going to talk abaout.

Will_and_a_Way: Stace is in the hospital for infected surgery stitches

Blooming_Stitches: I'M SORRY WHAT

Masonry: dude i was joking about som1 being dead

DrSamIAm: goddamit stacy

DrSamIAm has left the chat We're ALL Idiots Here

Masonry: ok first of all what happened to stacy

Masonry: second who changed the chat name again?

Blooming_Stitches: lol

Will sighed, the went into his phone and pulled up his drop box, where he'd sneaked the file into a while ago. He hesitated briefly, then sent it to the chat. Stacy could be mad at him later, but he was too tired to think up a cover story for her right now.

Will_and_a_Way posted a file in We're ALL Idiots Here

Masonry: ?

Blooming_Stitches: !

Will_and_a_Way: read that if you guys want to know what happned.

Will_and_a_Way: I'm going back to sleep now try not to kill each other

He clicked his phone off, dropping it to his mattress and letting his head fall on his pillow. Within seconds he was back asleep, completely oblivious to Scout Jumping back on his bed and climbing onto his back. She curled around the small Kirby toy, using it as a pillow as she settled back into sleep herself.

()()()

When Will woke up again, it was to a light weight in the center of his back, right below his shoulder blades. He huffed, glaring at the wall. He took a deep breath, then heaved himself up with all his strength. As predicted, Scout was catapulted off, and he quickly got out of bed, heading to the kitchen.

He made himself some toast, checking his phone on the way. The group chat was mostly just full of the various reactions from Lisa and Mason. Sammy had come back at some point, going on a rant about what Stacy hadn't told him.

He read over the various comments as he ate, able to tell where they were in the document. Unsurprisingly, Mason finished it first, and Lisa was intent on meeting Scout. Sammy had told her Scout was nothing special, which Will privately agreed with. He finished the back reading and, seeing as nobody was online at the moment, locked his phone again. He picked up his toast and moved into his work room for the time being, deciding to get something done.

It was easy, really, for Will to get lost in his work. Dissecting the "toys" he brought home, taking them apart and recording it in his notes. He was currently working on the body of the head he'd been looking at last night. The brown, fuzzy thing was strapped securely onto the table, the front having been sawed apart and spread open.

He shifted through the innards, making careful, detailed notes about what was in there. He would compare them to the stolen blueprints later, figure out what was supposed to be in there and what wasn't. For now, though, the intention was to make a catalogue of parts.

When his phone alarm finally went off, signalling it was lunch time, he straightened up with a sigh. He pulled off his rubber gloves and, making sure the straps on the table were tight, went out to the kitchen. He made himself a simple sandwich, eating it in the kitchen as he glanced through the group chat. Mason and Lisa were on and currently discussing things, but Sam hadn't been on again since his rant.

He lurked a bit longer after he finished his sandwich, then got up to go back to work. On the way through the living room, he paused when he saw Scout sitting on the couch. She was curled up in the corner, Kirby plush on her lap as she stared at it. Even as a Puppet, he recognized the look on her face as one Stacy had often worn in the first year after her mother had died.

'Why the hell do I feel so bad for that thing?' He sighed, rubbing at his face. Making a snap decision, he went over to his DVD shelf and pulled out The Iron Giant. He turned on the TV and player, then loaded in the movie, skipping the previews. When he reached the main menu, he selected play and dropped the remote near Scout. He then left, heading back towards the basement and his work.

Scout watched go, staring silently after him as he once again disappeared behind the locked door. She didn't even try to follow him, instead settling in to watch the show he'd turned on. With any luck, it would be violent and/or funny enough to take her mind off of things.

()()()

'That is the saddest shit I have ever seen...' She sniffed, rubbing at her frustratingly dry eyes. 'I can't believe he let himself get blown up like that. What the fuck.' She rubbed at her eyes some more, then tried to figure out how to choose a different show. When she couldn't figure it out, she threw the remote down in frustration. 'Fuck it! Where's Will?'

She Jumped from the couch, heading over to the locked door. She peered in the crack between the door and the floor, but couldn't see anything. She could hear, however, and what she heard were power tools. The sound sent a shock through her system, dredging up unwanted memories of Riley's lab. She drew back, then jumped onto a nearby table when the noise stopped. Thinking quickly, she opened the drawer that was there and tried to pretend that she had been going through it.

Will came out of the room a minute later, wiping his hands with a dirty towel. He glared when he saw what she was "doing". "What the hell are you doing? Get out of there!" It wasn't quite yelling, but his voice was definitely louder than it needed to be. Scout suppressed her fear and scoffed.

"Fine. There wasn't anything but batteries in there anyways." She slammed the drawer closed, feeling a small, petty joy in how the contents rattled around when she did. She watched him cross to his bedroom and, when he'd closed his door, opened the drawer back up in order to snoop for real.

Batteries, keys, some weird plastic clips, and other odds and ends she didn't have words for had been organized neatly in the drawer. Working quickly, she shuffled everything around even more, then shoved a handful of what was sitting on the table into the drawer. She then closed it again and sat back as innocently as she could, tilting the shade of the lamp next to her. When Will came back out, now dressed in different clothes, he sighed and fixed the shade.

She watched as he gathered up a couple of things, then came over and grabbed up a set of keys she hadn't dumped into the drawer. There was a pause, or maybe more of a hesitation, and then he scooped her up and left the house, ignoring her protests.

"Hey! Hey lemme go! H-mmph?!" He easily covered her mouth with one hand as he locked the door. He made his way to his car, not letting her go into he'd climbed in and dumped her in the passenger seat. "What was that for?!"

"Okay, here's the deal." He told her, ignoring the question. "We're going to go see Stacy. To do that, we have to go through a whole hospital full of people. And you will be quiet and good the whole time, or you will be going out the nearest window."

"We're going to go see Stacy..." That was the one thing she had really comprehended. Her Host was alive, Scout knew she had to be. If she wasn't, then the Puppet wouldn't have long to-

It didn't matter. She didn't matter, not after what almost happened. Not after what she almost did, accidentally or not.

She was jolted out of her thoughts as Will started the car, realizing belatedly that he'd continued talking to her. She hoped he hadn't noticed she wasn't paying attention. Whatever he'd been doing behind that door, she did not want to become his next patient.

In the silence of the car ride, Scout easily lost herself in the thoughts swirling through her head. The most prominent were thoughts of guilt, knowing she was to blame for this and wondering where she had gone wrong. Maybe she hadn't tried as hard as she should've to subjugate her Host back in the Studio? Or maybe she shouldn't have stayed with her after they escaped. Maybe she should have left after making sure Stacy was okay.

'Maybe I should leave anyways.'

She missed it when Will parked, only noticing when he picked her up. She let herself stay limp, though not so much out of compliance than a desire to try and keep working on the plan that had come to mind.

Vaguely, she was aware of the clean white halls Will was taking her through, as well as a nauseating smell that reminded her of Riley. A few other unclaimed Hosts like Will, though wearing clothing that, again, reminded Scout of Riley. She watched those ones carefully, just in case. She may not like Will, but Stacy did and she didn't want something to happen to him.

Will came up to a door, opening it and peeking inside. Scout tried to look, but could only see the very end of a weird looking bed. Whatever he saw he seemed to like, as he fully entered the room, kicking the door closed behind him and approaching the bed.

"Hey Stacy." He began quietly, and Scout felt her stuffing go cold at the sight of her Host in the bed. Her normally warm brown skin was several shades paler, and there were dark circles under her eyes. She was mostly upright, though leaning heavily against the pillows behind her. The scariest thing, though, were the several tubes connecting her to various machines by the bed.

Scout felt another cold rush of guilt when she saw how Stacy's eyes lit up when she spotted them. She waited for her to say something, anything, but the Host didn't speak, instead lifting her hands to use that weird hand language.

"She can't talk right now." Will translated. "She had to be intubated and her throat still hurts. But, for some reason, she's happy to see you." He sounded annoyed by that, and Scout couldn't help but be confused. Surely Stacy knew about what she did.

'Unless she doesn't.' The Puppet realized. 'She doesn't know shit about how it works. She had no idea what I almost did to her.' Somehow, that didn't make it any better.

Against her will, she was handed over to Stacy so Will could go set down the bags. Stacy hugged her tight, and Scout couldn't help but curl up in her hold, clutching at the weird shirt she was wearing.

She ignored the humans as they talked, or rather as Will talked and Stacy did one handed signing. Instead she stared at the tubing connected to Stacy's arm, watching the clear liquid slowly drip it's way into her body. She didn't know how long she stared for, but she must've dozed off at one point because she suddenly became aware of her hair being stroked.

It couldn't have been too long, as the room was still bright, though she couldn't hear Will anymore. Instead there was a quiet, steady beeping that matched up with Stacy's heartbeat. It was relaxing, and brought up memories of when Scout had first woken up, all those years ago. Before she'd been made to take part in Riley's "tests", or found that TV. Even before she'd met her siblings and learned who and what she really was. Those first few moments when it had just been her and Daisy, enjoying the gift of life.

She almost wished she could go back to that point. Things were so much better back then, when her world consisted of Daisy's sewing room and her siblings. When she didn't have a Host to worry about accidentally killing, or her own people coming after her.

But she wouldn't have to worry about that for long. If her plan ended up working, Stacy wouldn't be in danger ever again.

#outside #fanfiction #hello puppets #stacy stein #scout #will carson

18 notes · View notes

kaoarika · 4 years

Text

I rarely do written posts in Tumblr anymore because I am still figuring out how this new UI works in general (and there might be still be some bugs about writing posts + leaving them on drafts + publishing them accidentally as well), and tbh, between the past two months have been sorta chaotic and very mentally draining (besides some work I have been doing) and me attempting to think around some of my few active fandoms... well, haven’t had an eureka moment where I sit and write what I think about stuff.

So, let’s talk about some “stuff”.

Some days ago, I accidentally noticed by PURE CHANCE that some of the completed webtoons I was going to “eventually read” in LINE were going to get “locked”/converted for Daily Pass. I mean, tbf, I knew that they were going to stick to this plan since past October, but it seems they really went full force this month (they only “locked” like a couple of series back then). And it’s exactly how I thought they would do so - popular series that have been already completed, old and recent.

I’m not going to complain about “Daily Pass” because I do have some thoughts about that and the fact they could use another model than just readers farming/buying coins, but, what do you do, especially since lots of these series are PRETTY long (140+ chapters long)?

My complaint does come from that, as a web user, I found this by pure chance, despite them saying they would announce what series would be locked in a 30-day advance notice. Because there’s no apparent indicator in the main page about THIS (The only Notice/News detail you see down below the page is about Canvas creators). Heck, I don’t think they even tell you about it in their mail newsletter, which kinda suck :))).

So, anyway.

I checked and, yes, a couple of VERY old series I was interested in reading were/are going to get locked. Problem, like I mentioned? THEY are pretty long! I know I can binge read as much as I want, but I cannot make miracles like reading over 100 chapters (if one series, try thinking about 2 or 3 - I WAS NOT GOING TO DO THIS) in less than 12 hours! ESPECIALLY if those series were going to get locked THIS WEEK.

FML.

...anyway crisis was averted when I had to let go some interesting series that I may would get my way to read them (if there is a new buying/rental model they would apply) in the future... BUT I did read stuff I was curious or wanted to read... and mainly old stuff that I was willing to eventually finish one day.

Opinions on those series?

Okay, as brief and spoiler free as possible:

Untouchable: A story about modern-day vampires that instead of drinking blood, they have evolved to absorb the energy of their preys. This one is a romantic series about Sia, a vampire model and this human guy who has a very deep microphobia, and she puts her eyes on him when she realizes that his energy is like none she has tasted before. But, again, dude has microphobia (that is more or less controlled as time goes on).

I stopped reading this one for a while because I was sorta smelling love triangle from a jealous friend of hers that OBVIOUSLY didn’t want to be looked as “just a friend”, lol. Like “how would this get solved”, kind of thing in your typical romance stuff. But then, last week I retook it... and it wasn’t as bad... but it leaks typical shoujo stuff/problems that become a newer obstacle as time goes on and on (misscomunication, lack of trust, overprotective family ANNOYINGLY hurting their own offspring, sudden deux ex machina...?). So, I think it finished fine... But man, I was so pissed off in how some stuff was managed at the end, lmao. Especially the way a “villain” was redeemed? I know that they say “karma is a b*tch”, but, DUDE KILLED PEOPLE BEFORE!? and you redeem him in a “lol, you will find out how love will make you feel” LIKe, DUDE, WHAT THE HELL. DON’T REDEEM HIM LIKE THAT.

Ghost Wife: I started reading this series in an unofficial manner a long while ago, but I supposed that the first chapters are pretty slow and it didn’t catch me on in the first place. It’s about a girl that starts seeing ghosts/spirits, and there’s this one that becomes WAY too attached to her, that offers her two options: either been eaten/killed or agreeing to be his wife. Given the title of thise series, you might wonder she accepted the second one

My lesson? Should have kept reading. The story picks up when other ghostly creatures are introduced and they start interacting with the main female character and her “ghost husband”, especially since this ghost cannot really imitate human interaction and his solution is “hypnotizing” everyone so he can “normally” fit. And the interaction between those two becomes more gracious and natural. You can feel that she likes being with him, despite the dangers of attracting ghosts that might kill her and all that. Heh.

Other lesson I had is that: the artist isn’t EXACTLY well into action scenes and some other details (but their ghostly creatures’ designs are TERRIFYING), so, I thought “well, I know there are other artists like this in the webcomic/webtoon environment, I shouldnt be too worried about my art once I get done with mine, right?

Also, some details started to make sense later on. And I cried like a baby in some moments, as well. Don’t have too many complaints, though. Perhaps more obvious “falling in love” moments... but then I realized that some actions speak lots better than words.

About Death: And speaking of “crying like a baby”, this one. This is a very old work, and it’s a gem, and it’s short, to top! And HECK, the art was AMAZING. Very touchy, and it makes you think. There’s quite a lot of South Korean webtoons that have made me cry because... they really make you think a LOT about stuff... especially about life and death.

Oh! Holy: Story about a shy and lonely loveable dork that is in love of his childhood friend, and that they eventually find each other in high school. Said childhood friend is idolized in school (but she is... hmmm... a dork as, well). Oh, he sees ghosts. OH, and she dies within the first three chapters accidentally :3. Shenanigans happen.

I HAD A LOT OF FUN WITH THIS ONE. SURE, it’s another shoujo but WAY less dramatic than Untouchable, because this was comedy (so, a rom-com!). And this one made me want more and more to read it. The characters all had an amazing personality, chemistry and their interactions were FUN AS HELL. The author seems to have my my sense of (dumb) humor, and the art was too attractive and knew where it should bright.

I don’t think I have too many complaints about this one. I may have felt unsatisfied in some minor stuff, but everything else felt “okay” to me, in general.

A couple of things, though: localization and some quality stuff relating to translation in this series. I cannot judge the translation, but I do think it could have handled more quality checking on this one or proofreading, I’m not sure. I know that these (licensed and translated) series come in a weekly basis, but they REALLY need to pay more $$$ to their own staff to not let this stuff happen THAT frequent.

Localization is a bit of an issue I do HAVE though, and it is the same as in “Ghost Wife” and some other recent Korean series they have licensed in the recent past: Why using English-localized names, though? SURE, they retain their original last Korean names... but... why don’t keep their FULL NAMES, I wonder? I mean, weren’t we supposed to be over that kind of stuff already (videogames, JPN anime, manga other foregin stuff)? Is it because marketability? And/or because some names are “puns” that couldn’t easily be translateable in other languages?

If it’s the latter, I think the same is applied in other regional language localization, like, in Spanish, original English language “Axed” is called “Natacha la del Hacha” and you cannot wonder how it crawls over my skin. I know this series is BUILT ON and is full of puns (as I am following it)... but... “Axelia” is a much more cooler name than “Natacha”... :I or so I THINK? Don’t take me too seriously...

In “Ghost Wife” I get it, you have spiritual creatures... their “human” names are puns of what they really are, and these words MAYBE don’t have too much meaning in English or Spanish or whatever... but... its a bit... glaring... when the main cast has English first names... and then you have a side character called... I dunno, “Soyeon” :I. or Haetae (a creature that didn’t have a human character name...) or, heck, characters that never appear again like... there was this “Damien” dude that for some reason, his name is slipped a couple of times as “Suho” (I wonder, his original name). But, then, you have people named “Liz”, “Drake”, “Sarah”, “Nathan” ????

I suppose that in “Oh! Holy” that might be the case, too. The original Korean name of the series is “오!주예수여” that is translated as “Oh! Lord Jesus”, because Holy in Korean is named “Yesu”. And, *sigh* I think that says enough. The pun STILL works... but :’))

But at the same time, I think my thing with the English localized names in “Oh! Holy” is that they are... blatantly boring and I don’t think they fit their faces. At all. But, maybe that’s me? (I mean, the “ultimate” reaper is called Norman. NORMAN.) Like I said, they still keep their original Korean last names... but... ugh.

(this is coming from someone who gave two of her characters very not obvious Spanish names given that they are Mexican, but I do have some valid cultural and VERY obvious explanations about those...)

Also - I don’t get LINE Webtoon’s selectiveness in this localization decision. Some of the South Korean series they bring, they do KEEP their original full names (see “A Good Day to be a Dog”, “Ghost Teller”, heck, the afforementioned “Untouchable”), but then you have stuff like “Oh! Holy”, “Ghost Wife”, “Scorching Romance”, “Mom, I’m Sorry!” or “Lookism”... ?????

And, this is very blatant annoying because a) K-Pop is HUGELY global mainstream nowadays and you can hear/read fans screaming their NAMES?! And 2) K-dramas are also pretty popular these days???

??????

*LONG SIGH*

There’s a few series that I want to check out, but I still have some more days for that to happen (heck, even a bit of more than a week). But, it SURE DOES suck that most of the interesting series I had my eyes on all were going to get locked this WEEK. :))))

#kao's ramblings #kao's nonsenses #webtoons

2 notes · View notes

this-is-a-love-story-isnt-it · 4 years

Text

Okay, so here’s how Wintercon went today... This is long so I’m putting it under a “keep reading”.

My brother came with me even tho he hasn’t watched Farscape in like 15 years lol. We got lost in the casino going in because it’s huge af and there are no signs for the convention inside. but anyway, we finally found it and we looked for the autograph table first. we found it all the way at the back and everyone was at their tables except for Ben and Lani (who had walked past us as we were going in). Also Virginia Hey was supposed to be there but she wasn’t so idk what happened. Anyway, since you had to pay to get an autograph or picture with each one of them, I decided I wanted to get a picture with Ben. Anyway, me and my brother loitered a little bit, seeing if Ben would come back. he didn’t, so we looked around the convention a bit, and my brother saw the actor who played Atreyu in Neverending Story and wanted to take a pic with him but had zero money. there weren’t a lot of people at the Neverending Story table, so he probably could have just gone up to say hi but I guess he chickened out lol. Then we went back to the Farscape autograph table, and everyone was gone except Rockne. Then we saw a sign that said “Be back at 2 PM”. by that time is was about 12:30 so we decided to go to the food court and have lunch. Then we went back in and wandered around a little bit, and I think this was when we saw Ben walk past us. Or I did but my brother didn’t notice him. but anyway, it was a pretty small convention so it didn’t take long to see everything. So we went to chill out by the autograph table, and some more people were coming over after a while and we realized they were getting in line already. So even though we had been there first, the line started forming next to us, so we had to get at the end. It turned out that there were a bunch of people in line who had red tickets bc they had been waiting in line earlier but didn’t get to see Ben and/or Claudia before they had their break. So they went in a separate line so they could go first and then me and my brother were only behind like 6 people in the regular line, and 4 of them were in a group together. Gigi, Anthony, and Lani came back on time at around 2, but for some reason Ben and Claudia didn’t get back until like 2:30. The panel was at 4, so the organizers were talking to each other about getting people through the line quick. the lines for Ben and Claudia were really long. Gigi, Anthony, and Lani didn’t have people lined up to see them, but they each did have a lot of people go up and talk to them. Anyway, when Ben came out, oh my gosh, pictures just don’t do him justice. He’s a beautiful man. And he’s taller than I thought (I met him in 2001 but he was sitting at the autograph table), and he really is built like a football player. He has broad shoulders and for some reason that’s not noticeable on tv. Also, the beard is back but it’s much more tame than it had been at Dragoncon. lol. Anyway, me and my brother were really close to the front of the regular line so we got to just watch him interacting with people until it was our turn. 😍

Anyway, so when you get up to the table, there’s someone with the con at the table with each actor and you tell them whether you want an autograph or a picture. Since I already met him and got an autograph 18 years ago, I wanted to take a selfie with him. So anyway he stood up when he was told I wanted a selfie and he’s so tall (he seemed like 6′1″ to me- so not super tall and def not as tall as Anthony Simcoe, but anyone who’s taller than me I think of as tall because I’m 5′11″). And he started walking around the table and i accidentally kicked his foot but he didn’t notice it. haha. So anyway we said hi to each other and he took my phone and put his arm around me so i put my hand on his back and he took like 3 selfies of us, and then he was like, “Let’s do an ugly one” and he held my phone down low and angled up at our faces. lol. When he started walking back to go behind the table again, I told him how I recently rewatched Farscape for the first time since it originally aired (I didn’t tell him I watched it 3 times in a row since April, though haha). So, he stayed standing and I told him about how it was a very different experience watching the show in my 30s than it was watching it when i was around 19. And he was standing and listening to me intently and I was gazing into his blue eyes, and anyway, he said “was it better when you were nineteen or in your thirties?” So I was like, “Oh better in my 30s.” And he was like, “yeah, it’s really profound”, I guess meaning that it’s got a depth to it that you can’t really understand until you’re older. So then I had taken up too much time so he sat down and shook my hand and said thanks, and then we left. There had been more stuff I wanted to say to him, but they were in such a rush to get everyone through the line that I’m lucky I got to say as much as I did. Idk what my brother was doing in that time because he didn’t have money for a selfie or autograph, but he came up with me anyway but didn’t actually talk to Ben? lol.

By that time it was after 3, and by 3:30 we went over to the seats in front of the main stage and waited for the panel to start. There weren’t any seats left, so we stood off to the side and while I would have liked to be a little closer, it was actually a great spot to see and to be able to take photos and videos. I’ll post the videos later in an edit, but anyway, the panel was only an hour long. I wish it could have been longer. I felt like Rockne, Anthony, Gigi and Lani did most of the talking. Ben was able to talk a few times, and Claudia didn’t say a ton until near the end. It was still a really good panel and the audience questions weren’t cringey like they usually are.

So anyway, that’s it. It was a fun day and I’m so happy that i went both to the panel and to get a selfie with Ben.

#wintercon #wintercon 2019 #farscape #ben browder #claudia black #gigi edgley #anthony simcoe #lani tupu #krista goes to wintercon

11 notes · View notes

bexminx · 5 years

Text

New WIP attack!

Yeah, so, just what I needed... A new WIP hijacking my brain and beating up all the other WIPs in there to gain supremacy. Seriously, I thought I was getting really into my rewrite of Stillcity, but this has successfully diverted my creative energies.

Working Title - Tempus Fugit - The Time Creature. Genre - Fantasy. Themes - Choices / Industrialization vs Conservation / The Good Of The Many / Friendship (more to come). Summary - A future-hunter must find a way to save the time creatures or the magic will drain out of the world. Plot (what I’ve got so far) - Alawin is a future-hunter coming to the end of the futures she can see. She wants to use her last future for herself, but her second to last future breaks free of her hold and shows her a world to come without magic. The decision that causes that future is her saving a friend instead of stopping the person who turns future-hunting into an industry. Can Alawin find a way to avoid losing her best friend as well as saving the time creatures and preserving the magic of the world? Characters (so far):

Alawin Thess - A future-hunter who is starting to think about what she could do with her life beyond hunting time creatures.

Keril Parrah - Alawin’s best friend. She is trained in the art of raphei and also a dabbler in sequei (a magic referred to as poor person’s sorcery).

World-building - The fragmented notes I have so far...

A creature that floats through time. If the time creature interacts with you, it gives you a glimpse of your possible future.

Time creatures come in four main types: Flaer (look like different kinds of birds, live in the air), Burr (look like either a strange combination of mole and ferret or a sinuous wolf-deer), Silden (aquatic, look whale-like or serpentine) and Ifri (thought to be part of the magic of the world and look like flames in the air). No one living has seen an Ifri, but many future-hunters think they can be found in the uninhabited lands to the east.

Futures are mutable, but only a few people know this and everyone else takes a futureview when they experience one as written in stone.

Long ago the first future-hunter discovered that you can hold onto and pass on a futureview if you perform a certain ritual before encountering a time creature. Only lasts for a few hours so you need to find a creature quickly. You can hold the future for up to a week but it degrades over time.

Only a small amount of people become future-hunters because it’s dangerous if the time creature takes a disliking to you and because it takes years of practice to get the ritual exactly right.

Vehicles are made of a thin, durable substance called starril that is imbued with magic.

Workers of starril are called rapherns (practitioners of the art of raphei). Rapherns fold thin sheets of starril into the desired shape and also are responsible for layering the magic that powers the vehicles.

Flying vehicles are shaped like angular birds and called haracts, land based vehicles are called treps and are segmented (long like serpents and can have more segments added).

Water based vehicles (rells) are rare because the ancient method of waterproofing starril has been lost and there are only a few rells that are still functional. It is common for rapherns to experiment with new ways to waterproof starril, but so far the best methods only last for a week or two before failing.

Also I just invented a branch of magic called sequei. Sequei is a type of magic that makes use of the energy in broken things. The spark that allows people to learn and utilize sequei is relatively common, but many people ignore the talent in them because of the general antipathy for those who use sequei.

Most sequeia (people who use sequei) start when they are children by using the magic that seeps into their broken toys or things that they have broken accidentally. (No one knows why, but it doesn’t work when something has been broken on purpose).

The most famous use of sequei was three generations before the story of Tempus Fugit begins, a sequeia saved the lives of over one thousand people when a rell sank in the lake. The sequeia used the magic of the broken rell to drag the drowning people to shore but the huge expenditure of magic killed them. They became the only publicly ennobled sequeia and a statue of them still stands in the lake at the spot where the rell sank.

Argh I’m so in love with this story and it has next to no plot and only two characters so far... I’m tagging a few people just randomly(ish) because I want to rave about this WIP lol. Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist for this WIP, I currently don’t know how much or often I’ll post about this. Tagging @vhum @cawolters @writingwordsanddrawingpictures @mvcreates @pens-swords-stuff @inkspilledqueen @writings-of-a-narwhal

#writeblr #Tempus Fugit #The Time Creature #my wips #fantasy #world building #wip intro

6 notes · View notes

inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

Note

Hi :) I... really wanna read a fanfic or two but I can't find one I vibe with xD So... do you know one that's not too long (around 100k words maybe), has hurt and comfort, smut (am I allowed to ask about that?? Ahhhh) and a happy ending? Top!lock would be a bonus but it's not necessary. And if it's a nice AU (like... any kind but no crossovers pls), it would be perfect! :D By the way, I found your blog only a few hours ago and I already feel really comfy and Idk, kinda at home here ^-^

Hi Nonny!!!

Welcome to my corner of the Tumblrsphere!!! I’m so happy you’ve found me, LOL, because I love all my followers and friends! <3

First of all, I think it’s super cute that “not too long” to you is “around 100K” LOL LOL LOL!!! <3 That said, I’d argue all my fic recs are fabulous, LOL. But again, I’m stupidly proud of the wonderful lists I’ve accumulated, because it satisfies my organization kink LOL. And yes, you’re ALWAYS allowed to ask for smut here LOL.

ANYWAY, so I’m gonna use this ask as an excuse to post up a long-overdue part two to my 50 to 100K fic list! But first, here’s some past lists for the genres you’re looking for:

FIC MASTER PAGES: PG1 || PG 2 || PG 3

Toplock (Mar 2020)

Omegaverse

Please Check PG 3 for all my AU fic lists. There’s a lot :)

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 1: Under 5K Words

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 2: 5K to 10K Words

Fandom Favourites / Popular Fics

I hope those will get you started! So now, here’s the main event!! Hope you enjoy them!

50 - 100 K WORDS Pt. 2 (Novel Length)

See also:

Fics Under 2000 w.

Fics Under 2000 w. Pt. 2

Fics Under 2000 w. Pt. 3

E-Rated Johnlock for Newcomers Pt 1 (Short Fics under 20K)

Novella Length Fics: 25 to 50K (Aug. 2019)

Novel Length Fics: 50 to 100K (Nov. 2018)

Novel Length Fics: 100K+ w. (May 2019)

Long S3/Post-S3 Fics (20K+ w.) [Apr 2020]

Top 20 Fave 40K+ w. Fics (April 2017)

Smut-Free Fics Over 50K (Aug 2019)

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (E, 54,246 w. || Pre-TRF, Romance, Humour, Drama, Sex Toys, Anal, Rimming, Masturbation, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, First Kiss / Time, Virgin Sherlock / Loss of Virginity, Accidental Voyeurism, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Experiments, Naive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Straight With an Exception John, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of the SpaceBois go to Space series

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

One Little Change by jadztone (E, 58,312 w. || ASiB Divergence, Fake Relationship, Bed Sharing, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bi John / Gay Demisexual Sherlock, Switchlock, Alternating POV, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Case Fic, Angst with Happy Ending, Emotional Love Making, Butt Plugs, Cuddles) – Our story begins right after John and Sherlock's first meeting with Irene Adler in September. It splits off into an AU that imagines them taking a case where they act as bait to hook a killer targeting closeted gays in secret relationships. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, many things happen that have our boys wondering if maybe they have a chance with each other. Then Irene fakes her death on Christmas Eve, and things get a lot more complicated - especially since they still have a killer to catch.

floating through a dark blue sky by Lediona (M, 58,966 w. || Notting Hilll AU || POV John, Celebrity Sherlock, First Date / Time / Kiss, Past Drug Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending) – Of course, I’d seen his films and always thought he was, well, brilliant -- but, you know, a million miles from the world I live in. Or, when John is the owner of a travel book shop and the famous Sherlock Holmes stops in one day.

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn't have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

This Thing All Things Devours by cypress_tree (E, 63,844 w., 15 Ch. || In Time AU || Science Fiction, Dystopian Universe, First Meetings, Action / Adventure, Romance) – In 2169, time is money—literally. Humans are genetically engineered to stop aging at 25, when the numbers on their arm start counting down from one year. When that time is up, they die. The only way to get more time is to earn it, borrow it, or steal it.John Watson lives day-to-day in the crowded slums of Zone 13. He never imagined living any differently—until he meets the practically-immortal Sherlock, and helps him on a case to track a local time-thief...

The Bells of King's College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It's only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths...

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU || Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

White Knight by DiscordantWords (M, 69,840 w., 13 Ch. || S4 Compliant/Post S4, Marriage For a Case, Jealous John, Pining John, Janine / Sherlock Fake Relationship, Serial Killers, Case Fic, Undercover as a Couple, Weddings, John is a Mess, Misunderstandings, Wedding Planning, Jealousy, Drunkenness, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – Green. The word green was used to convey a great many things. Illness. Envy. Inexperience. Standing there amidst Janine's chattering bridesmaids, watching Sherlock furrow his brow and study fabric swatches, watching him smile and simper and flirt, John thought it a remarkably apt colour choice. Because he felt quite sick to his stomach, he feared the source of said sickness might very well be jealousy, and he had absolutely no idea at all what to do about it. Or: Sherlock needs to fake a relationship for a case. He doesn't ask John.

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (M, 72,684 w., 18 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w., 18 Ch. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he's a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover's trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world's highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

The Monument of Memory by J_Baillier (M, 79,663 w., 14 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It Fic / S4 is Canon, Angst, Family Drama, Guilt, Case Fic, John Loves Sherlock, Complicated Feelings, Mentalism / Hypnosis, Murder, Grieving John, Sherlock is a Bit Not Good, Team Work, Trust Issues, BAMF John, Psychological Trauma, Protective John, Autistic-Spectrum Sherlock, Parentlock, John POV) – A genius traumatised by a past he's only beginning to recall. The psychopath sister that time forgot. A missing woman and a mentalist who may or may not be a murderer. And, in the middle of it all, stands John Watson.

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater / Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Flashbacks, Sussex, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Background Case Fic) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

31_Days_of_Porn_Challenge_2017 Series by distantstarlight (E, 96,540 w. across 31 stories || Prompt Ficlets, Assorted Kinks, PWP) – A collection in response to the 31 Days of Porn Challenge issued by AtlinMerrik! Thanks for doing that because this has been buttload of fun (that joke never gets old). All stories will be brief stand-alone one-shots.

The Baker Street Nativity by SwissMiss (E, 99,662 w., 23 Ch. || Nativity! AU || Teacher Sherlock / TA John, Pining, Sherlock POV, UST, Angst, Christmas, Music/Song Fic, Anal / BJ’s, First Kiss / Time) – Fusion between Sherlock (BBC) and Nativity! (2009 movie starring Martin Freeman). Sherlock is a primary school teacher and John is assigned to be his classroom assistant. Together, they are charged with putting on the school's Nativity play. What could possibly go wrong? Part 1 of The Baker Street Nativity Verse

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 97,884 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #long fics #50 to 100k #Anonymous #fic rec wednesday #e-rated fics

153 notes · View notes

dazais-guardian-angel · 5 years

Text

I’m sorry this blog has been so dead-feeling and sporadic for a while now. Not that anyone probably cares, but if any of my followers somehow still enjoy following me, I’m sorry to you all. (tmi health issues below)

I haven’t “updated” in a long while, mostly because I don’t feel like I’m on the verge of dying anymore, like I did all throughout 2017 to maybe halfway through 2018; my health has been pretty stable for a while now. But it’s almost like once my thoughts didn’t have to be preoccupied with constant terror and depression of the worst kind 24/7, now it’s made room for other things to take hold of me. I don’t have panic attacks anymore (at least that I know of; I definitely had one the other night, though), but I have mental anxiety more than ever about really random and ridiculous things, and intrusive thoughts. I’ve gotten a lot of writing done but at the same time feel more unproductive than ever; I’ve always had bad executive dysfunction, but for the last couple months it’s felt worse. I’ve nearly dropped off of drawing entirely; I wish I did it more, but I’ll never be good enough and it’ll never get enough attention to feel like it’s worth the exhaustion it takes. And I probably have actual depression, if I didn’t before then I probably definitely do now; I’ve started to be able to tell the difference in my moods between days, where I feel really invigorated and into something and wanting to do something, and when I feel really down and can’t bring myself to do anything I mean even more than usual lol and feel like I want to cry sometimes for no reason.

I don’t feel as passionate about stuff anymore, which is probably a BIG WARNING SIGN cause I’ve heard other people say this, but yeah. I’m constantly feeling like I should go “give myself a break from writing”, so I just end up playing small, shorty video games that don’t hold my attention very well, instead of working on my backlog of big games that I know are gonna keep me busy for a while each once I start them... otherwise I just stay at my computer thinking that surely I’ll feel like writing something else soon, because I know deep down I want to work on filling my remaining ideas, and I know I can because I have been steadily uploading the last few months, but then I’ll just end up sitting here doing nothing in the end. Or if I get lucky, write. But it just feels like literally everything I do is happening at a snail’s pace now, for no reason. Getting through anime episodes now is tedious, at least for seasonal anime that I’m just trying out and not stuff I already know I’ll love. Keeping up with manga is hard too, I’m so behind on so many series, except for MHA because the chapters are short and weekly instead of monthly, which somehow helps. I like to read at night before sleeping, but I usually fall asleep so quickly after laying down, it’s frustrating. And none of this should matter because no one cares but me but I can’t stand it, especially when my anxiety is constantly making me worried about how long my lifespan is gonna be and that I need to hurry up and do shit quicker. :))))))

All of those mental health diagnoses are just speculation though, since I haven’t been officially looked at by anyone, cause we don’t know where to find anyone. Maybe adhd meds would help me, but who knows when I’ll be able to try any if I do, because I’m already taking so many physical health meds that my parents are always wary about adding unnecessary ones, especially since we’re so uneducated when it comes to the delicacies of mental health meds.

My health problem has morphed into a swallowing problem; I have extra saliva and mucus that gets “stuck” and won’t go down all the way unless I swallow a lot, and I can’t drink or eat anything anymore, which is literally the most agonizing thing in the world, I’m so thirsty (I’m still getting nutrition; please don’t ask how). I’ve done a couple tests and they’ve been fine, so no one knows what’s going on, and my parents have been lax about setting up to go to a better hospital because things aren’t urgent anymore like they used to be now that I have a reflux med. I mean, at least as far as I know; who tf knows what’s happening to me I also have leg nerve pain from sitting in a wheelchair all day every day, which is nothing new at all, it’s been a thing for years, but lately it’s been absolutely agonizing because I’m too underweight to pad my body and my wheelchair isn’t a good fit for me and getting the people to take the steps to change things takes literal months because they’re slow and lazy as molasses. My back is constantly tight too, to varying degrees, sometimes better, and I don’t know what that is, maybe anxiety, but that’s frustrating too cause it makes breathing ever so harder. So yeah, I’m not fearing for my life anymore, at least consciously, but things are still hard and I’m so tired that they’re still like this and they’re just making my mental health worse. I spend most days not doing anything, suffering in some small annoying way that’s enough to keep me from being able to focus on anything, and going to the relief of bed, to repeat forever.

I’m realizing that I’m just lonely. I’m so lonely. Everything is so different now than it was even three years ago; so many of my online friends are gone, even if we’re still mutuals on tumblr; the first online community I ever joined that first got me into online friendships and animanga has long since disbanded. Various mutuals on here I never really talked to but was used to seeing in my activity are gone. Other friends have changed slightly, though they’re still dear to me; I have new ones that are dear to me too, but yet others that I don’t feel a real connection with, and it feels like we’re just surface level acquaintances. One of my two closest and best of friends, one of the first friends I ever made years ago, abandoned me late last year, and to be honest I don’t know why. I did hurt her, but I feel confident in saying that it wasn’t to a degree that was unforgivable, or at least wasn’t worthy of a chance to redeem myself, so.... yeah, I don’t know why. She had changed a lot by that point, shut down a lot, and when I set her off and she left, it was as if all that time we’d spent so close together meant absolutely nothing anymore, had never happened... I don’t understand it. It hurts so much. I tried to contact her in other ways multiple times, by letter and by email, apologizing profusely, and she ignored all of them. It hurts and I’ve thought about it so much, I know I haven’t truly coped with it yet, but have only tried to ignore it, and I desperately need someone to tell me that I didn’t do anything wrong (at least, not wrong enough for that reaction). Cause right now I just still hate myself for it deep down, am so worried about her, worried about how she is right now, wish I knew what she was thinking/thought then, all because of my mistake..... I don’t understand, I don’t know what to do, and it makes me think that all this time I’ve been a lot more terrible of a person than I’ve ever known, and that I’ll just keep accidentally pushing people away by trying to get too close, just like her.

She abandoned me, the few “adult friends” I’ve had irl abandoned me and never talk to me anymore once they stopped working for us, so I guess I’m just cursed this way. The main thing is that I’m seeking and craving interactions with people that no one I know want to have; I love analyzing fiction and getting into the meta and all that stuff, said online friend who abandoned me and I were on nearly the same wavelength when it came to this kind of thing, and we talked for hours and hours about different series and what made them work and why they didn’t work, getting real Deep(tm), and going against popular fandom opinions we thought were wrong (cause we were/are in the minority who disagreed with some of the praise for certain big name series lmao) lol, and that was my normal for a few years... and to have all that be gone is so alien. We were going to collab on a fic together, and that barely got off the ground before she left. I’m dying to have it all back so much, but none of my other friends are into that kind of discussion like she was, and I feel like a piece of shit for acting like they’re “lesser” than her for that, but that’s basically how I’m unintentionally acting.... and I hate myself for it. But I can’t help it; I don’t know what to do. I just know I’m bursting at the seams practically with so much I want to talk about and do that I can’t and I’m so lonely and it’s all so frustrating and depressing and I’m so tired of it all. So aimless and tired and bored and unmotivated and afraid and wishing more than ever that I had 2016 back, before everything became so fucked up in so many ways.

I’m so sorry, anyone who’s friends with me now reading this; you’re all so important to me and I don’t mean to act like you’re not. I’m just sorry I’m such a mess. I need a new purpose, but I don’t know what that is. Maybe I should use this blog to write more meta posts, besides that one. Maybe I should actually post my fics here, although as everyone on tumblr knows, fics get even less notes than art does, so even though my MHA fics get a decent amount of attention as it is, maybe it wouldn’t matter if I put them here too. Is it obvious I’m just a lazy greedy lonely ass craving validation and attention and friendship at this point.......... lol......... I’m just a wreck, I feel so suppressed and aimless, trapped in a life that’s too suffocating and alone for me. And I don’t know how long I and this blog are going to stay this way, so........ I’m sorry, anyone who cares.

Thank you, everyone who’s followed me and still follow me; I appreciate you all so much, and haven’t forgotten a single one of you early ones I’ve talked to before. Hopefully eventually this blog will feel more alive again, eventually........ eventually.............. whenever I find what it is I need, somehow. In the meantime I’ll just keep reblogging MHA posts like a broken record I guess lol.

#personal posts #this is long overdue #I say as if I have a huge following and people who've been Waiting For News #looooooooool #tl;dr i am a lonely friendless bitch who wants attention and validation and friendship Exactly Like It Used To Be #stuck with probably all of the big mental health illnesses out there now who can't get jack shit done #........so basically like every other person on tumblr lmao #almost every day is pointless now even moreso than they already were #when will I be Free (hint: never as long as I stay stuck in a disabled body in a sheltered house with no friends and parents who don'tgetme

3 notes · View notes

noramoya · 5 years

Text

• TrayC — I love to tour.

“HI, MJ FAM . I POSTED ABOUT THIS IN THE MJ MISCELLANEOUS THREAD BUT AFTER SPEAKING TO ANOTHER FONT IN DM, THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BETTER TO CREATE A THREAD SO MORE PEOPLE CAN BE AWARE. I AM NOT ABLE TO POST THE TWEET IN WUESTION BECAUSE IT WOULD BE AGAINST LSA RULES.

BACKGROUND FOR THOSE WHO DON’T KNOW : Pearl Jr is a 'journalist' who states she has evidence that MJ faked his death. She has made 3 DVD's with her 'evidence' which she sells to naive fans. One of her main arguments is that she's spent thousands of hours on the phone to Michael himself, who she claims is Peter. Peter comes to this site to try to recruit people for his own forum. I don't think he has claimed he is MJ but he does creepy stuff like posting collections of rare memorabilia (which some people think is stolen), and mimicks MJs voice. (He sounds ridiculous but this has not stopped Pearl and thousands of lonely, vulnerable women into thinking that it's MJ). He has not disputed Pearls claims. He goes on live chats on his forum and many of these women seem to think they are in some kind of personal relationship with him. He has fairly large followings on twitter, facebook and his forum. Both of these people, in my opinion, are batshit. A few years ago, a group of fans exposed who he really was, a guy who has spends his life mimicking MJ. This is the first time I think he has been exposed in a live chat. What happened (what I posted in the other thread):

'PETER' WAS DOING A LIVE CHAT AND HE, ACCIDENTALLY, FLIPPED HIS PHONE AND SHOWED HIMSELF TO BE THE OVERWEIGHT IMPOSTER THAT HE IS. HE THEN TRIED TO DELETE THE EVIDENCE BUT ONE OF HIS FOLLOWERS SNAPPED IT AND PUT IT ON TWITTER. IT’S STILL THERE BUT I WONT POST IT HERE . PEARL JR. OF COURSE IS NOW SAYING THAT IT’S MJ’S DISGUISE. LOL! SHE GOT TO GET HER INVESTMENT BACK SOMEHOW, I GUESS. The twitter user who posted this is someone who believed Pearl and her purchased DVDs apparently.” — April 29, 2018.

• Xscape —*The dark thoughts in your head*

“TrayC, Thank you so much for bringing this info out in the open. This has truly gone on way too long.

It is the intent of Peter Midani and his followers to throw Pearl Jr under the bus, claiming she is the only one responsible, but Make no mistake.. Peter Midani admitted on LSA to giving her permission to share their conversations so he knew very well what she was saying and promoting.

I know people who buy into this whole labor of love lie but hear me out. If Michael was discovered alive by the mainstream, what would happen.. Especially to the person he decided to reach out and go public to... That person is set for life... For bringing Michael back to the world. Seventy five thousand dollars is chump change compared to millions and millions of potential income if the risk panned out.

Pearl may be crazy but She ain't stupid. And Using the argument of being biased against Peter for sounding similar to Michael to certain people, again is not logical when 99.9% of impersonators and tribute artists have no qualms nor problem about their real identity known and, in fact prefers that, so no misunderstanding happens. Peter uses his Michael like voice to seduce young girls who are MJ fans into cyber or phone sex with him. Plus, because of what Pearl Jr has promoted him as, they think they are involved with Michael, in a secret life.

Please... It's fake ! Glad to see him busted, although I am sure another claim of being hacked and stolen identity will come up. And these people buy it because they're that desperate thinking they are close to Michael somehow, even when its not him . Crazy ! Also, He supports Shana ! Thanks again Tray C :) Thanks Thanks 🙏🏼 Hugs! Hugs! — April 29, 2018. “

• SellingOutSouls — 24KCoughDrop

“I wouldn’t really worry about it. The very few stans that give her the time of day are usually from foreign countries and struggle to understand English.” — 04/29/2018.

• TrayC — I love to tour .

“Yeah, you're probably right. I'm more concerned about the 12k people that follow Peter tbh. Many of them young girls ... “. — April 29, 2018.

• Xscape — *The dark thoughts in your head*

“This is the Pearl Jr of “Wink wink.Nod nod... Michael Jackson is Alive” and Peter Midani is Michael Jackson on various platforms. I only point her out because, for a friend, Midani is a lousy one, willing to throw her under the bus for this when he gave his permission and has seen her videos. He knows what she sells ! In other words, They’re both in it, like peas in a pod ! — April 29, 2018.”

• Angels777 — Well-Known Member

Thank you @TrayC

This does deserve it's own thread for people who either aren't aware of the con-game Pearl Jr and Peter Midani have going on, or who support them and may need their eyes opened. It's so sad that some fans of MJ still continue to fall victim of shenanigans such as this. The best way to show them is to expose them.” — April 29, 2018.

• awsomegirl015 — Minding your business

“Why is it that people constantly think celebrities fake their deaths? Now Tupac is somewhat believable because there was never a real autopsy done. But I doubt Michael is still alive. The whole world saw his funeral”. — April 29, 2018 .

• TrayC — I love to your.

“Because some people find it hard to accept when their fav dies. Especially if they are still young or if under suspicious circumstances. To be clear, I don't care what people believe. I personally enjoy watching videos about conspiracy theories. I do have a problem with manipulation and scamming which I believe is the case here.” 04/29/2018.

• Xscape — *The dark thoughts in your head*

ROTFLMAO... Let's not give Peter Midani any real followers, Man ! Actually, It is hard to understand ! These young girls and followers think they are protecting and being loyal to Michael Jackson here ! Now, we know this is nonsense... Especially now . But they are convinced, so they are loyal, thinking they are standing up for Michael Jackson , secretly ! This person almost caused the collapse of another MJ fan board with this act, and I know of two girls he flirted with, who absolutely thought this was Michael Jackson ! And this happened when Michael was still living ! Just know.. The two young women I knew were devastated when everything fell apart. They loved him as Michael and it was a betrayal when he turned out not to be, or they began to have doubts. Then, Michael was murdered. How would you feel being unable to confirm or deny you knew someone. Chatted with someone.. And they may be dead ? These people didn't have the truth and no place to go to find it ! The truth is coming out, but it cannot be placed all on Gaz. Now is the time to take a stand and spread this message or share your experiences if you are familiar with this situation. Secrets only keep the lie going, with people getting coin in their pockets off MJ fans ! Let's take back our fan base for each other ! Time for the crap to go ! “. — April 29, 2018 .

• Angels777 — Well-Known Member

ABOUT : Leogirl817 said:’ I don't know how this woman can function in her everyday life!’

“She's obsessed ! Her whole life revolves around this scam. Either she thinks Michael is in the car with Prince following her, or she thinks she talks to Michael on the phone all the time.She screams about talking to Michael (Peter Midani) for over ONE THOUSAND HOURS so she knows he's alive. If you challenge her, she gets smart with you and basically degrades you by calling you names and tells you if you don't believe her then get off her page. She insists that Peter is Michael and continues to do so, even after his real face was recently exposed yet again. Talk about crazy 😜! “ — April 29, 2018.

• SellingOutSouls — 24K CoughDrops

“Woah...WHAT HAPPENED TO GAZ?!! “. — 04/29/2018 .

• Xscape — *The dark thoughts in your head*

“Gaz? He is fine, as far as I know. I don't know him well... I said as I did, because it was like there was a time he was fighting this alone... There just hasn't been much of a system in place for such victims to be able to find the truth and hopefully healing ! Instead, these people are often met with ridicule because they are hard to convince. Letting Peter Midani go, means letting Michael Jackson go, for them... So they stay silent and in the limbo .” — April 29, 2018 .

• SellingOutSouls — 24K CoughDrops.

“I find it incredibly hard to believe people would dismiss GAZ, regarding anything because, despite his falling out with some of his members on MJJC, he’s still held with high regard ! Last I had heard he had exposed Peter Midani as a fraud and the sane majority of the fan base believe GAZ. I honestly feel like regardless of Peter existing or not there’s ALWAYS going to be beLIEvers among us. No matter how hard we try or how many frauds we expose there will still be those who choose to believe in the false hope of Michael being alive. I mean you still have people that number in the thousands that believe Elvis is alive, even though the chances of somebody with the type of health issues Elvis had wouldn’t likely make it into their 80s are slim.” — 04/29/2018 .

• Xscape — *The dark thoughts in your head*

“You're right Selling. Frauds exist. Scams get uncovered... I don't know how these people truthfully face themselves with the way they con people ! Gaz is fine . He still fights the good fight. My statement was about the fact Midani has been doing this, ever since before Michael Jackson died, and Burned a few bridges forcefully with nobody knowing the full truth of who he was ... So these girls were conflicted even more, when Michael was murdered.” — 04/29/20018 .

• BestOfJoy — Well-Known Member

“I think some people are missing the point here. It's not about people believing Michael is or is not alive. The issue here is that "Peter Midani” has been pretending to be Michael for years... going all the way back to MySpace days.He has lured young women (many who are under age) in to believing he is Michael and, in doing so , these young girls have shared very personal information with him- pictures, their address, phone number, etc. I'd like to direct everyone to MJJC's official statement made in 2014 about Peter: OFFICIAL STATEMENT OF MJJCOMMUNITY TO THE MICHAEL JACKSON FANS, RE : "Peter Midani" (Bobby Anderson) .” — April 29, 2018 .

• SellingOutSouls — 24K CoughDrops

“I understand. The problem is, our hands are tied because, these people have been given facts upon facts to prove he’s a fraud, and people still choose to believe in him. You can’t help those who refuse to be helped. I spent a good 5-6 years, after Michael died , trying to keep fellow fans from falling for the schemes and lies of frauds, but eventually realized that, if people refuse to consider the facts they are given to stop supporting these schemers, then they’re getting exactly what they’ve bargained for ! How many frauds have been exposed in the last 9 years alone and, yet, you still have naive MJ fans that refuse to use some common sense and research things, before giving people their trust and many times their hard earned money?Just look at how many dumb ass fans still follow Karen Faye despite the AEG trial exposing her for the “backstabbing c*nt” that she is ! Perhaps it’s because I’ve already reached my limits with age, but I just don’t have the time or energy to keep trying to pull these people’s heads out of the sand to force feed these people the truth, regarding the frauds among the fan community.” — April 29, 2018 .

• CHLOEXHALLE — Public Relations Agent & Lawyer.

“This shit is gonna be in history books about Michael. Mark my words. The "twin soul" shit too. I need to know why MJ fans (particularly women) are always so fucking stupid to believe shit like this ?! And it has nothing to do with age cause some of these people are over 25, and even as old as 40. Edit: Anyway I remember Pearl J from my early Twitter days. The bish was nuts then. I'm surprised she's still going over 6 years later !” — April 29, 2018.

• Xscape — *The dark thoughts in your head*

“In my opinion, I think if one focuses on trying to push anything down another's throat, It will fail. Knowledge is power and can help those people who actually DO want the truth and need support. Like Pearl Jr , for example. Her response was the frame was a mask, but Come on.. It's clear that's no mask. Why would anybody wear a mask in their home on their own computer when they weren't expecting to be seen ? Top that with, he looks rough in this pic. He wasn't planning on it happening ! Karma is a bitch !! But still Pearl tries selling her hand with the mask excuse. Nuts! “ — 04/29/2018 .

• TrayC — I love to tour.

“See, I'm of the opinion that Pearl doesn't even believe herself that it's MJ anymore (maybe she did think it was him years ago)... but she can't back track now, she's gone too far ! It would be admitting that all her 'work' her book, DVDs etc are BS ! She couldn't possibly admit that , without some pretty harsh repercussions. So she will justify any evidence to the contrary. Until the end of time ... “ — 04/29/2018.

• SellingOutSouls — 24kCoughDrops

“At the end of the day, the victims of these schemes have to be the ones to report the fraud ; but even then, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything would come of it, because it would likely fall under a civil complaint and, at the end of the day, some just don’t feel like much will be accomplished, by attempting civil action .” — 04/29/2018.

• TrayC — I love to tour

“Well she claims her work is 100% factual ! That is false advertizing ! But yeah, I'm talking more about her reputation as an investigative journalist. But I guess that's not exactly that high either ! — April 29, 2018.

• SellingOutSouls — 24kCoughDrops

“That’s still something they’d refer for civil litigation and that type of stuff takes too much time and money. It ends up being easier to just cut your losses and never look back ! Now, maybe if enough people organized a class action suit, there’d be a glimmer of hope that she’d be shut down, but it would still rely too much on hearsay and certain unknowns.” — April 29, 2018 .

• BarbaraLee — Well-Known Member

“Interesting ! I remember the statement and the exposing on MJJC, in 2014, and wondered why Gaz cared so much about it... it seemed pretty absurd to me ! But I didn't know Peter had 12K followers and it had been going on for years and years ! Jeez !! — 04/29/2018 .

• NOT ALL MEN — Well-Known Member

“So I have a confession for y'all . For years, before Michael's death, I was part of the King of Pop message board. I, along with other MJ fans, downloaded this program called Paltalk (before Skype, or before the popularity of Skype). Myself and other MJ fans would all gather in the chat . And also, if you had a microphone or headset of some kind, you can actually speak in the chat instead of type. Well, guess who would also be in the chat? "Peter Pan PYT," or "Peter Midani." Often, he'd take the mic and impersonate Michael. And a lot of us enjoyed it. It sounded scarily like Michael ! However, this shit ended up being concerning because there were girls in this chatroom who ACTUALLY THOUGHT that he was the REAL Michael Jackson (this was during 2004/2005). I remember feeling creeped out by all of this. Obviously, it wouldn't really be Michael, but so many girls thought it was ! One of my friends from the KOP board who was also on Paltalk, she was on the phone with one of the girl's parents to tell them that that wasn't really Michael Jackson. Just someone impersonating his voice. She did this while she had the mic on Paltalk. I haven't heard this fraud's MJ's impersonation voice since then, but at the time, I thought he was really good. He sounded convincingly like Michael. Then years later, after I lost my moderation status on the KOP board over something petty, there was a huge thread, there, about "Peter Midani" because there were a few girls on the site who got conned. I don't remember the full story, so if there was anyone who was there on the kOP board at the time, if you can clarify, that would be nice. But, to my surprise, it was the same guy that we're talking about here. But these girls thought it was really Michael. He wrote them poetry, and all kinds of crazy claims ! The gullibility of these women amazes me ! How these women cling on to every dude's saying-and-action, without a thought ?! It's like all senses and thinking skills are thrown out the window, and they're ready to accept and believe, and do the most for him . But, more than that, is that not only has this guy been doing this BEFORE Michael passed, but years after, taking advantage of women and girls. Michael is supposed to be dead (he is), and here ‘Peter’is, the proof that Michael is alive, and taking advantage of these desperate BeLIEvers for his morbid and selfish reasons !And don't even get me started on Pearl Jr. She's an embarrassment to black women everywhere !” — April 29, 2018 .

• TrayC — I love to tour.

“When people wonder how on earth anyone could be so naive as to get sucked into lies like this, it's placing the blame on them, instead of the manipultors. The majority of people who fall into these traps aren't like you, with a normal life etc. Maybe they are children who are too trusting, they could have mental health issues, some people lean on things like this as a form of escape from whatever horrible shit is going on in their lives. This is what is so sad about it ! it's those type of people that Pearl and Peter are manipulating. I know there isn't really much we can do, but it just disgusts me. “ — 04/29/2018 .

• ShalaShalingay — Well Known Member

“ But could Gaz help ? I mean, shouldn't this ‘Peter’ man be investigated by police for soliciting young females online ? I'm sure that must be illegal ! I don't think with freedom of speech that much can be done about the Pearl Jr. woman. I can only imagine the conspiracy talk when it will be his 10 year next year. It will be a circus .” — 04/29/2018 .

• TrayC — I love to tour .

“I don't know Gaz so I dont know. I am not a member of his forum. From what I hear he already tried to do something but I really don't know. A member of MJJC would be better placed to speak on that than me...” — 04/29/2018

• Realtk92 — Unapologetically Real

“In the case of Michael, he was a larger-than-life-figure that ruled the Pop Culture world for over 40 years ! His impact, influence and contribution to Music and Culture was and is something that had not been seen before. He has become an Immortal figure and for many it is very hard to accept he is no longer here anymore. With Tupac, they haven't found the person that killed him and they continue to release new music from his vault. That is why there is speculation around his death. “ — 04/29/2018 .

• Xscape — *The dark thoughts in your head*

“Let me take a crack and try my best to explain. Peter Midani used the same handle he always used as the email Addy to contact him by, that's how its known it's the same person as the imposter on KOPD board. Now of course, Peter cries Hacking, but that's his m.o. ..it's always an imposter, someone else when it isn't. Anyway, a moderator of that board befriended Midani through friends of hers and believed it was Michael Jackson as well. Later on, that moderator was approached by someone having doubts about the situation. This moderator kept the situation under wraps and bullied the person who came to them with their concerns to try and intimidate them into silence. The girl went over the mod's head. Hell broke loose at one point. It's like the one thing you just don't discuss there. People would rather forget. But I am, personally, of the opinion it's a network of people conning and conniving together. They think they got a good act going. Well busted ... EDIT : I want to be clear about the moderator here and note that the person apologized and lost the position over what happened, but went on to better themselves and change their bullying ways.” — 04/29/2018 .

• Awesomegirl015 — Minding Your Business

“According to the NYPD, they found Tupac’s killer years ago and have evidence but, because the guy was killed two years after Tupac, he was never convicted ! It was revealed in the tv series documentary about pac and biggie. The guy pac stomped out that night was the one who killed him. His uncle basically snitched years ago in order to save himself from having to go to jail. Let me see if I can post a clip... (it’s on Netflix). I agree with what you said about Michael , though ... He has become Immortal ! — 04/29/2018 .

• Xscape — *The dark thoughts in your head*

“Michael... It's like... somehow, people forgot he was a human being, regardless of his Talent, Wealth, and Life . He was ultimately destined to do what 100% of creatures of Earth have done and that was have a life span. They bring up he loved magic and illusion. Ok... So did Houdini, people ! It's us that yearned so much for him ! We wanted Redemption and Justice for him , because he deserved a happy life, after all he shared with the world. The world kicked him and spit him out. They’re STILL trying to rewrite his history and erase his true character from it. He deserved better than to be murdered ! To be abused and neglected right under our noses ! And, yet, Michael swallowed the blame as a drug addict, when he wasn't sleeping nights. He was very sleep deprived. But let's take the account of the murderer as gospel truth of Michael supposedly asking repeatedly for sedatives when evidence points to that version being a lie. Michael never woke up after the first sedative was given. That's what the evidence shows. Murray drowned him in drugs. He never had a chance ! It's just more injustice against Michael as ever and repeats in the media. People ignore Michael was murdered ! ‘Nope. Drug addict !’ When Court evidence and doctor’s records and testimony tell another story, the media muted. Typical media ! One day it WILL be set right though. Michael deserves at least that much in his honor ! Anyway, Hell ... You guys are reading this and can see how all of what happened to Michael hurts and angers me ! Well, some just can't come to grips with the idea that Michael was more vulnerable than was known, and was abused and betrayed, repeatedly, by those who should have had his back. A few of these clowns, MJ fans actually still think did right by Michael and loved him, because not everyone followed the AEG trial . This just wasn't supposed to happen like this for him. And Michael was their inspiration in life ! They have to find him again, because they can't feel like they can move on. Some live abused lives ... It’s tragic in some cases ! As a Michael Jackson fan since childhood, I am grateful to have grown up being inspired and spellbound by him. He was a friend, when I had no friend in my corner, giving me encouragement to believe in myself and my dreams. My heart aches for some other answer for Michael, too ... not enough to swallow a lying illusion though. There's been enough lies and crap in this fan base, people picking on us cause they think we’re an easy target ! We still have time to carry on Michael's legacy and pass it down to generations ! “. — April 29, 2018 .

2 notes · View notes