fuck it i'm riled up please enjoy t4t steddie

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 172

LARP and the Real Girl/Closing Time

“LARP and the Real Girl”

Plot Description: Sam and Dean investigate the mysterious deaths of two LARPers who were engaged in a game involving a real fairy

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: I mean…if the fae get you, the fae get you…

I did cut out the part in the description where they said what LARP stood for, just full disclosure

Honestly, they DESERVE to go see a movie or hit up a bar. Just one night off

Omg I love that Dean really has accepted Garth as the new Bobby

God…I’d love that LotR poster.

Fuck you, small town cop. Look. I don’t know what this guy’s whole deal was, but as long as he treated women right and wasn’t a gatekeeping asshole, “toys” on display at your residence (read: replicas of weapons from fantasy series and probably figurines of some sort. (Remind me to make a post about how much I’ve spent on the anime figures at my work desk…and the look on my work bestie’s face when she saw the amount)) are not a sign that you can’t be in a relationship or get laid.

“These kids today with their texting and murder…” I wanna kiss whoever wrote that line of dialogue on the mouth.

Felicia Day’s hair is so pretty

The dramatic thunder is…well, it’s something

Sometimes I get so sad about how much Dean has missed out on due to John. THIS is one of those times. He’s so excited to help Charlie with her battle strategy!! And he never got to foster that because he had to grow up WAY too fast and ALWAYS had to keep the tough guy persona. He’s such a little nerd at heart

Dean and Charlie should have gotten wayyyyyy more time together

You know, for being known as the nerdier of the two brothers, Sam is having zero fun with this and really just wants to get the job done. Dean’s in costume and following Charlie around as she flirts with every woman she encounters in their investigation

Noooooo don’t abduct Charlieeeeeeee

Oh. Looks like Charlie is no longer disappointed in her kidnapping

I love the boys getting sidelined in favor of the rules of this LARPing community

Of COURSE it’s that dude

Did he really think that the sword, once it turned back into foam, was going to stop Dean??

Omg is he……….HE’S GIVING THE SPEECH FROM BRAVEHEART. Deeeeeeeean

“Closing Time”

Plot Description: The Doctor, in his final days of life, encounters a mystery as he visits an old friend

Don’t love that we’re back with James Corden

What is happening with the…no that’s not how you ask about lighting in this show. Hey, who turned out the lights?

The cybermen? Maybe

Stormaggedon, Dark Lord of All is quite the name for a baby to give themself

This Farewell Tour he’s on doesn’t hit as hard as Ten’s because he’s really been with just Amy and Rory and River most of the time, with the exception of Craig (who he’s visiting now), also I know he has at least two more seasons

Hmmmmmmmm a motorized toy…the cybermen are hijacking TOYS??

Omg…I don’t like how often Moffat-run shows have the joke “oh these two men seen together and/or show any sort of affection toward each other MUST be gay.”

He just went straight for the lingerie department?? Come on…

Oh they didn’t hijack shit, they just put a weird robotic rat thing in a department store

I forgot we jumped ahead some time….we still get a little bit of Amy and Rory, but Amy’s already a perfume model

The cybermen gave the cybermat TEETH??? WHY???

These….oh, yeah. Those are things to cry about later. For sure

Oh…that baby’s ceiling is the ideal. Like, real project galaxies

Aw man, James Corden only ALMOST got mauled by the lil rat thingy

Ugh, the Doctor is doing the whole “I shouldn’t have anyone around me” thing again

Did they actually kill Craig???? What is happening???? Ahhh, rats. Like, of course they didn’t but STILL

So the cybermen just exploded? Because Craig felt emotion again??

This episode is just eh. Except for the Doctor’s coat. The coat’s good

Why DOES linear time affect him now??

Oh that’s where he got the hat River’s about to shoot off

Can you tell me who your ship Reggie with? I’m very curious *sheepishly presses my fingers togather* and your Headcanon’s for said ship. Pretty please? Thank you in advance!

sooo, I actually sorta stopped shipping Reggie with anyone romantically (at least for now)? BUT I do have a bunch of platonic ships for him and I'd be happy to write down some headcanons for those!

after playing at the Orpheum, Carlos officially met Alex, Reggie, and Luke (he couldn't see or hear them but they found other ways to communicate)

Reggie immediately took to Carlos, seeing him as a younger brother/apprentice

he helps Carlos with homework as best he can when Julie or Ray aren't home, even though he isn't very good at it himself

Carlos once made a B and the first person he rushed to tell after school was Reggie

Reggie really likes having the little dude around because it's nice to be able to treat someone else like a little brother for a change since Alex has always seen Reggie like a brother

granted, Alex is less of the protective kind of brother and more of the "Dear God, Why Do I Go Out With You In Public?" kind of brother

when they were alive, Reggie would get hurt a lot and Alex was always the person who would get out the first aid kit and be like, "why would you do that, I told you that you would get hurt, you dumb-dumb, for fucks sake-"

Reggie's parents fought a lot and some nights they would yell really loudly, so Reggie would sneak out and to go Alex's house for the night

it would be somewhere around two a.m. but Reggie knew it was fine because Alex always left his bedroom window unlocked for Reggie to climb through

Alex would always ask, "do you wanna talk about it?" and Reggie would always say, "not right now," so Alex would just make room for Reggie on his bed and they'd both fall asleep again

(can you hear me crying?)

Luke is Reggie's pal. his friend. his bro. his buddy. his partner in crime

they met when they both got detention in 9th grade for separate but equally stupid reasons and have been friends ever since

their relationship is just every unproblematic Me and the Boys meme there is

before they died, they would have competitions to see who would try the weirdest food combination or who could chug their rootbeer faster

Alex and Bobby did not have fun trying to reign those two in, and Alex and Julie do not have fun trying to reign those two in, I can tell you that right now

they're gay for each other in a platonic way (although they're both queer)

Luke will ask Reggie who his best friend is and Reggie will grin and say, "Ray"

because, look, Ray and Reggie have this unbreakable bond and, no, it doesn't matter if Ray doesn't know Reggie exists

sometimes Ray will play music while he cooks dinner so Reggie will join in on his mini cooking dance party

he's sort of like the dad Reggie never had because his biological father was always too busy working or fighting with Reggie's mom to spend time with his kids

Reggie has thought a lot about revealing himself to Ray so they can actually get to know each other, but he knows that could cause so many problems for him, the band, and especially Julie

and he has already made a silent promise that he will protect Julie at all costs

at first, Julie and Reggie didn't have much of a friendship going on, but then they got to know each other better and Julie felt more comfortable being her normal, goofy self around him

they jam to country music a lot, especially old Taylor Swift and Lil Nas X

honestly, the only word that can really describe their relationship is "bandmates"

they have an unbreakable bond that's so close to feeling familial, but it's just distant enough to where it's not quite there (however, that doesn't lessen their friendship any bit)

Julie will often times let Reggie come with her to a store or something because he wants to see more of how the world has changed and she's more then happy to show him

and she'll talk to him about her mom when Flynn or Luke or busy because he's surprisingly good at advice, whether he realizes it or not

Reggie is also a tremendously good listener, so Julie will reminisce a lot with him about her mom when she just needs to ramble about the good times

Julie taught Reggie about coping mechanisms for trauma (because he's definitely traumatized) since Reggie never really knew how to handle himself and, no offence to Luke and Alex, but they aren't the easiest people to ask for help sometimes

I'm not sure how to end this, but yeah. sorry this isn't really what you asked for!

suptober day 10: sweet rides

please let me know if you’d like to be added to my tag list! (or removed if you prefer) it tags you in all my short stories like these so you never miss them!

(THERE WILL BE A PART TWO TO THIS! ONCE IT’S OUT, I’LL EDIT THIS ONE AND LINK TO THE SECOND PART ONCE IT’S FINISHED!)

also, sorry that you’re seeing the earlier days in your feeds! i forgot my writing ipad when i went on vacation this weekend, so I’ve been trying to make up the days i missed! i should catch up soon, i’ve just been incredibly busy!

October 10th, 1890 - Lawrence, Kansas

Castiel drew his breath in as the cold air of fall hit his face. He looked around the town, seeing no signs of anybody out.

Most of them were probably in saloons or shops of some sort, drinking their sorrows away with cheap whiskey and tapping all their fortunes out with gambling.

He had lived in this town his whole life, but downtown he has only recently grown familiar with it.

Two months ago, his parents disappeared from him. And the rest of his family either moved away from Lawrence or were arrested for felony and murder charges. Castiel wasn’t like that. Being the youngest in the Novak family was hard, but he managed. He was the last of the Novak’s and he never made any promises to carry the family name, since he wasn’t interested in women of any kind.

So he wouldn’t. Once he drew his dying and final breath, the Novak’s would be no more.

However, in the meantime, he could make fault of his name. He wasn’t the proudest of being a Novak, but like previously said, he managed.

Walking through the dirt roads, marked with horses hooves and wagon’s wheels after years of use, Castiel found himself at the Roadhouse, like he did every Friday night.

He enjoyed the company there, and the beer was cheap but it was decent. He wasn’t much of a drinker, as his mom had drank her heart out all his life, but alcohol was the norm, so he occasionally had a beer or two.

He went inside, pushing the doors forward to be greeted by Ellen Harvelle, the Roadhouse’s proud owner. She was serving a man, who Castiel had never seen before, with big ears and a long nose.

“Hello Ellen. Is Jo working tonight?” he smiled at her while approaching the counter. Jo Harvelle was younger and was also Ellen’s only daughter.

“Nah.” She shook her head. “She’s got studyin’ so she’s workin’ on that upstairs.”

Castiel nodded and looked around the room, there were the usuals that were normally around, like Bobby Singer with his friend Rufus Turner, Meg Masters (a devil in disguise, ask anybody) and...

Dean Winchester.

Town’s heartthrob. And Castiel would never admittedly say this, but also the only man Castiel had currently sought out for.

About a month ago, Dean’s father had died and so him and his brother moved all the way from Sioux Falls, South Dakota, to Lawrence. He became a regular and were familiar with some of the townspeople, since he had lived there until he was four. His mother had died in the paper’s fire at their house, and so they moved across the country. Since the town was celebrating its thirty-sixth anniversary soon, it meant that the town was still young, and so was Dean. John Winchester — thy boys’ father, was a state-famous cowboy, which gave Dean and his brother Sam a good name.

However, Castiel’s has barely usurped a full-on conversation with the man. Castiel was fairly confident, but pretty boys like Dean made his throat close up. Normally their conversations were around five minutes long, until some girl comes and ushers him away.

Although Castiel has never heard that Dean has gotten lucky with any of the women in the town. Maybe he kept it a secret, or maybe he wasn’t interested in sex. With a body like his, Castiel was surprised he didn’t. He could do so very easily, with anybody in the town who was willing.

“Hey, Cas!” Dean called out, waving a large arm up in the sky. Next to him was who he thinks was his younger brother, with shaggy hair and a lanky body, Sam Winchester.

Assuming Dean’s gesture was meant to usher him over, Castiel got up from his stool and walked over, taking off his black cowboy hat and placing it on the pool table once he got to his destination. Dean tipped his Stetson in greeting and flashed a toothy smile to Castiel, causing his cheeks to heat up.

“You here for a beer, angel?” Dean asked.

That was new.

“Uhm, yes. Like I normally am.” Castiel replied solemnly, a little bit skeptical since Dean was being extra flashy today.

Perhaps it was because Sam was around.

“Well,” he started. “I’d like ya to meet Sammy, my lil’ brother. Sammy, Castiel. Castiel, Sammy.”

Castiel nodded. “Nice to meet you, Sam.”

The younger brother stuck his arm out, signaling a handshake. It was firm, despite his young age. “You too.”

Dean gave his brother a grin and a wink and Sam had almost immediately left to go to the counter, instantly striking up a conversation with Ellen.

Odd.

“So, have you heard about Lucifer?” The question just popped up out of the blue. Dean was leaning on his cue pole, his hands over the top and his chin resting on his knuckles.

Castiel quirked his head and furrowed his eyebrows.

“The murderer, guy got his face on the wanted posters ‘bout two months ago. People are sayin’ he murdered two people and some animals or somethin’. I don’t gossip like some people do here but it’s somethin’ I’ve heard goin’ ‘round.”

He licked his lips. He hasn’t seen any wanted posters of any kind, so either he was blind or oblivious to his surroundings. Hopefully the latter.

“I haven’t. Is his real name Lucifer?” Castiel asked, now engaged in the conversation, curious.

“Naw, Lucas or somethin’. Lucas... Shurley, I’m pretty sure.” He bit his lip, stuffing his hands in his jean pockets.

Fuck.

“Lucas Shurley? I...” Castiel’s mouth went dry and the world suddenly got dizzy. “I need to sit down— o-or leave... I—“

Dean put down his cue stick, and it clattered to the ground. He gracefully swept over to where Castiel started leaning over the pool table. He put his hands on his back and laced his fingers with his to support him up.

“Cas?” His voice was soft, like of those of a kitten. “Hey... hey, man. Are you alright?”

“I have to go home—“ Castiel started, his stomach feeling like thousands of volcanic ruptures.

“I’ll take ya, man. How far do you live?”

Castiel looked up to face Dean. “About— about two miles up north. You... I can walk.”

“Walk? No. Where’s your horse?”

“Don’t have one anymore. Horse disappeared along with my parents.” Castiel said like it was nothing.

In all honesty, he didn’t believe it was nothing. He just didn’t want to worry Dean.

It was everything. Chuck and Naomi Novak were his favorite people in the world. Sure, the both of them smoked their lungs dry but without them, Castiel would be a goner. They’ve saved him, fixed him, in more ways and times than he could count.

“I’ll take ya, Baby can fit two.”

“Baby?”

“My black mare. God, she’s a beaut. Love o’ my life.” Dean smiled with pride.

Castiel nodded. That’s how Lincoln was to Castiel and his family. He was a very obedient crime colored horse, and he was very fond of him. However, after his parents disappearance, Lincoln had gone with them. Over and over Castiel theorized where they could’ve gone, but nothing of the sorts came to mind. They’ve always sort of stayed around Lawrence. Never the adventurous type, which was why their disappearance was odd.

Baby was a very comfortable horse, but it was even more comfortable to wrap his hands around Dean’s waist, feeling the rise and fall of his breath against his body. His chest was touching his back and Dean talked to him as Baby slowly rode ahead. Dean had reassured Castiel that since he didn’t feel well, Baby wouldn’t go as fast as she normally would’ve.

Hiding his blush in the night sky, Castiel’s eyes were weary and droopy. He never even got the time to get a beer, nor talk to anyone else. His trip was cut short. However, so was Dean’s.

“Sammy’s a genius, I’m tellin’ ya.” Dean filled the empty silence with something to talk about. “Been studyin’ to go to this new college called Stanford. ‘Bout five years old, fairly new. It’s all the way in California, poor guy.”

Castiel didn’t respond, but Dean could feel the nod of his body against him.

“You got any siblings?” Dean genuinely asked, cocking his head back to meet eye to eye with Castiel. Dean seemed like a good horseback, so he trusted him.

Castiel thinned his lips. “Yes... two. They don’t live around here anymore. Older brothers... uhm, Michael and Gabriel and-“

He stopped himself.

“And what?” Worry sort of filled Dean’s voice.

“I also have an older half brother... but I don’t talk to him. He sort of made my life a living hell growing up.”

“‘M sorry to hear that, Cas.”

Baby stopped in her tracks slowly, and Dean eyed Castiel’s cottage. It was on the outskirts of town, and the wooden place wasn’t the biggest, but it managed. He was proud of it. It’s been there since Lawrence founded in ‘64 and he wasn’t planning on demolishing it anytime soon.

Dean hopped off of Baby and grabbed Castiel’s hand to help him. The sickness started riling back in his gut and he walked to his front door quickly.

The wooden patio could barely hold one person without creaking in vain, crying out because of the heavy steps heaving on it. Let alone two. However, Castiel couldn’t tempt away from the green eyes and peppered freckles face with a smile he’s grown so fond of since Dean moved back.

Dean took off his hat and placed it on his chest, his fingers curling around the crease and pinch of it. He looked down.

“I just realized ya forgot your hat at the Roadhouse.” Dean chuckled, his laugh music to Castiel’s ears. “Could I stop by tomorrow afternoon ‘n give it to ya? I promise I won’t mess wit’ it.”

Castiel nodded, his face becoming red. “Thank you, Dean.” He paused, then he furrowed his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

Dean simply blinked and didn’t hesitate. “Because you made me realize that angel’s were real.”

They said their goodbyes and Castiel laid on his bed, first taking off all his clothing except for his undergarments. His sheets were cold with lack of use, as it has been a while since he’s used them.

Thoughts of Dean and his freckled body filled Castiel’s head. The imagery of his cock in Dean’s soft ass pumped his heart and he bit he lip, to try and attempt himself from getting hard. He had nothing but his hand to relieve himself, so he couldn’t tonight.

However, if he got lucky with Dean, he would be a sweet ride indeed.

(tags below)

@potato-painter

gardenia iv

gender reveal/baby shower

I know this has been a long wait, so here it is! I’m excited for you to read this chapter. I hope you will let me know what you think of this chapter and what you hope to see - since this is more of a drabble series, I’m always open for ideas and interacting with readers of the different possibilities to share with Clyde and playing Belle! Please enjoy!!

warning: none!

“Marlene,” Clyde mumbled softly, only to hear his wife’s soft sigh. “That’s alright, I wasn’t feelin’ that name either. Reminds me of that Marley an’ Me movie, n’ I won’t cry with my possible daughter’s name. Was also a name of an old lady who chase me n’ Mellie off her yard as kids.”

“Then, Marley is also out of the question,” a tired, yet amused voice responded, making him chuckle a bit. His right hand busy with their gentle caress against the rounding belly, having pushed the shirt up to below her breasts to feel the soft skin with his bare hand. “What about Eric…”

“Mmm, had a bully in third grade named Eric,” Clyde huffed, and Belle nuzzled closer to him in their bed. “Erica could be alright…”

“Not Eric, then. Erica, maybe,” Belle mumbled with a small smile before yawning. She was tired, Clyde could tell easily with how her pretty eyes were closed and how she clung herself as close as possible to him, but there was a factor in the way of her sleeping soundly. Her belly has been making it difficult for her to find a comfortable position to sleep, even though she isn’t showing to the point she can’t turn properly while laying down. Clyde is always more than awake to tend to her and try and help her get the proper amount of sleep needed for a pregnant woman - especially with the baby shower coming up in the afternoon of that day.

Clyde had found talking to his wife and gently massaging her back and belly helped a lot, as well as just talking to her with his voice low and soft. Something about his accent and the way he hums makes her feel fuzzy on the inside and more relaxed, as she claimed, and Clyde was more than willing to try and practice his conversation skills with his sleepy wife. With her head carefully tucked to his shoulder on the pillow, Belle shivered at the uncomfortable feeling of her large belly and her sore back and pressed her forehead closer to him. Her husband was gentle to comb her hair back and kiss the top of her head, his brows knitting together with genuine concern.

“You alright, baby?” he asked softly, his hand drifting up and down her back before brushing his fingers against her pregnant stomach.

Belle nodded and Clyde cooed gently and peppered little kisses along her hairline and forehead with a feather-like touch. “Poor sweetheart, ya think the baby is jus’ excited for the party?” he teased affectionately, drumming his fingers lightly over the bump and made her smile sleepily.

“I keep thinking it is actually kicking, but it’s gas or just my belly making weird noises,” Belle confessed, somewhat embarrassed and amused by herself just by thinking about it. “I can’t tell you how many times I tense up thinking it’s going to be the little bean kicking, and nothing happens - I think that’s the source of my sore muscles, being all tense and expectant. I’m just being whiney about it…”

“What’s a baby kick suppose to feel like?” Clyde asked, curious of this little secret, but also wondering about the little angel resting against his own stomach inside his wife’s womb. Either of them have yet to feel the baby kick; Clyde has been reading up and researching, constantly asking Belle if there has been any update, yet Belle can only smile sadly and shake her head. They were remaining patient, however, letting the unborn baby take its time. “It ain’t suppose to hurt, right? I don’t want you to be in pain or uncomfortable…”

“I don’t think a little baby can kick hard enough to hurt me. I’m pretty sturdy as they come, believe it or not,” Belle snickered before lifting her chin, asking him for a kiss which he gave her and nudge their noses together. “I’ve asked Bobbie Jo and Mrs. Potter. Bobbie Jo said that it’s like when your muscle spasms for no reason. But, Mrs. Potter said it can feel like someone flicking the inside of your tummy, so I’m not sure.”

“Can’t be that surprising once you tell the difference, right?” Humming, Clyde lifted the blanket up their bodies to keep her warm and cozy, seeing how more sluggish and sleepy his wife was becoming. Looking to the clock hiding behind her, above the shelves of the headboard, Clyde could see it was after the time Belle would usually strain on staying up with him. He knew she was very tired, and only wished he could do something more to help her sleep easier.

“Pretty sure I can… Still, I don’t think they’re ready to be kicking,” she answered softly. “I don’t know. Doctor said it’s very normal…”

“Doctor said you were doing perfect. Very wonderful momma to-be,” he whispered against her hair, his hand continuing their gentle caresses and massages to the small of her back and stomach. “Both you n’ the lil bean havin’ strong heartbeats, both healthy, jus’ what she told us.”

“Mmhmm...” Belle sighed sleepily, her cheek resting against the pillow and on him, her hands curled between them as she started to finally fall asleep.

“I see ya gettin’ sleepy now, aren’t ya?” Clyde smirked gently, seeing her take deep breaths and unable to keep her eyes open. “Can see ya startin’ to fall asleep, honey. Jus’ relax an’ I’ll take care of you and the lil baby, okay? I’ll keep ‘em settled down so you can sleep…”

Seeing her grin so sleepily, Clyde knew she was about ready to fall into a deep slumber, allowing her to nuzzle into his neck and carefully cling to his sleeping shirt. Clyde felt his heart throb in his chest at feeling her warm cheek against him, the warmth of her belly underneath the blanket and against his palm making feel tingly by the physical contact. He felt his wife’s small hand curl around his neck and tangle in his hair - her fingertips sloppily attempting her massage before going limp. “Love you so much, and so does the little baby…”

Clyde couldn’t stop his grin as he kissed his wife’s head and listened to her breathing change to a deep sleep. Waiting a while to make sure his wife was out after a few minutes, he gave her forehead a gentle kiss before closing his eyes and rest his head on the pillow with her.

XXX.

“I decided.”

Belle turned around to look at her husband while he busied himself with the hook of the hangar in his mouth to take off his button-up shirt of choice. Seeing she was dressed in a lavender sundress and a violet cardigan pressed to the bedside, Clyde opted to wear his light grey button-up with his white undershirt and brand new jeans to look more clean and somewhat matching with her. It was a fun celebration, after all, and Clyde wanted to look almost as good as he did on his wedding day (minus his many panic attacks and his wild imagination of the many what-ifs). Anything for his lady and baby on the way.

Smiling at him while he shrugged his shirt on, approaching to help with the buttons before he could tuck in the shirt, Belle got on her toes to kiss his chest, next to the wedding band resting against his sternum in a necklace. “What did you decide about, big bear?” she asked, feeling him give her a kiss on the top of her head.

“On namin’ the baby.” Catching her attention, Clyde gave her a small smile and brushing his thumb along her cheek. “If it ends up bein’ a lil boy, I can name him one of the few names we liked n’ listed together. If it ends up bein’ a lil girl, you can name her one of the names we picked out for a girl. Feel like it’s only fair since I can’t think of any good girl names and you like some of the boy names I thought of… And I really like the girl names you told me the other day.”

“The ones we put on the fridge?” Belle blinked. The two had a little notepad with little scribbles of possible names and highlighted different colors, depending on the gender or neutral, whenever they had free time on Sundays and Monday nights together. 

“Yeah, but we’ll still need to agree to it, don’t we, Darlin’? ‘Course, we gotta agree, when the time comes.” Clyde snickered when she raised a brow at him. Once she finished buttoning his shirt, he tilt her chin up and gave her a sweet kiss that made her grin against his lips.

“Yeah, I would hope so,” Belle snickered while he pulled away and busied himself to tuck his shirt into his jean while getting his belt for him off the bed. “I don’t think it would end well with either of us picking a name, and then changing our minds on how we feel about it for the other.”

Taking his belt when his wife offered it to him, Clyde mumbled a thanks before putting the leather strap through the loops with his only hand. “Just as long as we don’t name the boy Junior.”

“Or after an obvious flower,” Belle agreed with a smile, her hands resting on her belly and rubbing carefully over her dress. “As much as I love my job and having my name after one of the most romantic flowers known to man, I think our little angel is too special for that.”

“Could jus’ name ‘em Angel, too,” Clyde suggested.

Belle’s nose wrinkled a bit as she tried to hold back her laugh. “Would it be weird if I thought Angel would be a cute name for either a girl, or boy? It’s unique, but still special - because it will be our little angel. I’m sure there’s variations for it.”

“Well, ain’t Fish’s name actually Fish? Is Fish a cute name?”

“I’m not even related to - you know that their mom isn’t all that…”

Belle sighed and let him pull her into a hug, his facial hair tickling her neck with his little butterfly kisses to her skin. His arms wrapped around her and his hand sliding down to teasingly squeeze her bottom, making her jump. “We’ll figure somethin’ out,” he assured her affectionately, feeling her pulse quicken when he scraped his teeth under her jaw. “Party first, right? You’re gonna be the center of attention with how lovely ya look, Darlin’.”

“Me and my big belly bumping into everything while I stuff my face with food,” Belle taunted. She squealed when her husband blew a raspberry against her neck, tickling her enough to get her laughing.

“Ain’t no matter, yer still the center of my attention,” he shrugged joyfully before kneeling down to give her stomach gentle kisses. “And so will this lil peanut. Hope ya get yer mommy’s tickle spots, ‘cause I’m gonna be ticklin’ and kissin’ ya until you tire yourself out from laughin’. Yer mommy’s the same way, knocks right out when you get her laughin’ for a good five minutes.”

“Shh, don’t listen to Daddy,” Belle grinned while combing back his hair, feeling him nuzzle against her with so much affection. “Your daddy is just trying to tease me to get me flustered enough for him to distract me from going to the baby shower.”

“Is it working?” Clyde asked sweetly, looking up to give her his loving eyes that he knew she couldn’t resist.

“Only a little bit… Just a pinch.”

“Mmhmm? Uh-huh?” Clyde held back his laughter while his wife playfully shoved his face away from her belly. “C’mon, sweetheart, you can’t resist me that easy.”

“Oh, like you can take one look at me when I doll myself up for you and turn the other cheek?” Belle snickered while he stood up on his feet. “Even when I wake up with knotted hair, drool on my chin and unable to form proper sentences, you still say I’m the prettiest lady you have ever seen.”

“That’s just ‘cause you are, Darlin’,” Clyde grinned, taking her cheek in his hand while his metal prosthetic wrapped across her back. He peppered gentle, loving kissing along her cheek before stealing a quick smooch from her smiling lips. “You could be covered in dirt n’ oil and still be the most beautiful girl in my eyes.”

“Even while I’m stuffing my face with sandwiches while pregnant, or get covered in baby spit? Not sleeping for days because I’ll be a reckless and anxious mom?”

“You deal with me shovelin’ plates in my mouth, and you know darn well we’re both gonna be covered in baby spit!” he claimed rather proudly before nuzzling under her jaw, kissing and nipping her skin softly and holding her close carefully while she laughed. “C’mon, Darlin’, pick out some comfortable shoes to wear and I’ll be right out. We got a party to get ya to.”

It was an interesting situation having Mellie and Bobbie Jo argue about the location of the baby shower - since Belle wasn’t even planning on having one in the first place, that just didn’t sit well with either woman while Silvia was more of the middle ground in the fight. Mellie wanted to have it at the park area, where it was outdoors with fresh air and nature surrounding the picnic patios and have a BBQ while Bobbie Jo wanted it at the new fancy restaurant that just opened up in town (where she knew the owner of the business and could get a deal on a party room) and could get a lovely buffet with clean tablecloth and silverware. As much as the mother-to-be wanted to try and find a solution for both ladies to agree with, suggesting the restaurant they had the wedding reception at, it was automatically turned down and thus Belle kindly asked Jimmy’s girlfriend to put her foot down. 

Silvia, as sweet as she is in being a big sister to both Mellie and Belle, and on absolute friendly terms with Bobbie Jo, can also be hard and straightforward in fixing silly situations such as arguing about where to have a baby shower. Thankfully, Silvia suggested either Bobbie Jo or Mellie host it at either house - where there were wooded backyards and easy access to the indoors with an AC available. Before either ladies could bicker which house, Silvia flipped a coin with an actual written agreement on notebook paper that, whoever got the house, the other would be in control of decorations.

Bobbie Jo’s house was claimed on tails, therefor Mellie had full control of the decorations and Bobbie Jo couldn’t interfere.

Considering that it was a gender reveal, Mellie picked the color white for the main color-theme and stuck to minimal decorations. There were a few balloons tied to the stairs that everyone knew that the Logan brothers were going to get ahold of later and party streamers decorating the railings in a cute twisting style. With Bobbie Jo’s backyard covered with greenery and trees, the white popped perfectly and Mellie was more than proud of herself with everyone’s compliments as soon as they entered the backyard; more so the only Logan sister didn’t hesitate to rub it in Bobbie Jo’s face once Belle said how much she loved the design of the patio table with a simple table cloth with a bouquet of white roses on top along with the snack plates that Jimmy was helping himself to. Mellie didn’t hesitate to send Jimmy a displeased scowl at him while hugging Belle in greeting.

“Swear, that man thinks every event is for him to stuff his damn face,” she mumbled before kissing Belle’s grinning cheek while laughing. “Bobbie Jo and Sil made those lil sandwiches for you, ya know. We know you’ve been craving ham and cheese, and look what that sasquatch is doin’! Jimmy, you asshat!”

Like a dog getting caught doing something it knew was naughty, Jimmy popped his head up before jumping over the ledge on the other side. Sadie, watching the whole thing happen, laughed at her father’s silly antics while her mother sighed at finally seeing what her ex was doing whilst conversing with Silvia and Mrs. Potter. What bad leg again? Mellie kindly excused herself from the guests of honor before chasing Jimmy after tossing off her nice sandals.

Clyde shook his head over his siblings’ behavior, taking his wife’s hand and guiding her further. Along with Bobbie Jo, Moody, Sadie and Mellie, Joe Bang and his brothers were also currently present with Mr. and Mrs. Potter sitting close together in lawn chairs with drinks in their hand. Sadie, all dressed up in a white tutu and white ribbons, offered a plate filled with different assorted snacks to the guests very politely before coming over to see her aunt and uncle.

“Aunt Belle!” Sadie squealed as she hurried over to the new arrivals. “Uncle Clyde, can you please hold the plate for me? I wanna hug Aunt Belle!”

Clyde chuckled as he took the plate for his little niece and grinned even bigger seeing Sadie press her cheek against Belle’s stomach and hugging her. Giving her tummy a gentle kiss, Sadie pulled back and waited patiently for Belle to bend down to kiss her cheek, which Belle returned by taking her face with both hands and giving her big kisses to each cheek and then her forehead.

“You look so pretty, Sadie! Look at you!” Belle gushed and fondled the girl’s cheek, making her blush and laugh. “You look even more like a little angel!”

“Thank you, Aunt Belle! You look very, very pretty, too!” Sadie sang brightly, waiting patiently for her aunt to release her before going to hug Clyde as tight as she could. “Hi, Uncle Clyde! You look handsome!”

Clyde chuckled softly when his little niece hugged him, kiss his cheek quickly and took off, chasing down her dad and reprimand him for taking the sandwiches her mom and father’s girlfriend took the time to make special for her aunt. “She seems happy to have a party at her house, huh?”

“Well, she must get it from the other ladies in the family. Both Mel and Bobbie Jo throw very fun parties,” Belle said rather fondly. When Clyde offered her something off of the plate Sadie deserted them with, the pregnant woman picked out a little finger sandwich and a cookie before being called over by Mr. and Mrs. Potter. Belle seemed to glow brightly greeting her bosses, patiently waiting for Mrs. Potter to get up from her spot to properly give her a hug while Mr. Potter took Clyde’s plate and shook the father-to-be’s hand.

“How ya doin’, sweetheart? You been eatin’ good for the baby?” Mrs. Potter instantly took charge of looking over Belle with critical eyes, obviously looking for anything that might raise any sort of red flags. It was natural, according to the elderly married couple, considering both Mr. and Mrs. Potter had seven healthy sons throughout their lives together.

“I’m doing really good, thank you,” Belle responded with a happy grin, allowing the stout, elderly woman to nod in confirmation and then hug her. “Clyde is always making sure I’m eating well enough, getting enough sleep and drinking water, all the sorts you’ve written down for us.”

“Good. Don’t need to kick yer man’s ass for not takin’ care of ya properly, knowin’ how stubborn you are.”

“She ain’t a picky eater, ma’am,” Clyde corrected as he came over. Seeing his wife pout a little bit at the accusations, he kissed the top of her head, while his flesh hand reached to gently caress her rounding stomach. “Takin’ vitamins, eating healthy and doin’ wonderful,” he praised her directly, making her instantly grin; kissing her cheek repeatedly while Mrs. Potter rolled her eyes affectionately.

“Yer gonna spoil her too much,” Mr. Potter interjected and his wife smacked his pudgy belly with her hand, making him snicker.

“Oh shush, ya ol’ man. You were three times as bad whenever I had our boys!”

“Sorry, Ma,” Mr. Potter chuckled and Clyde suddenly found himself a bit flustered by the elderly couple’s interaction.

Even though he and Belle had been affectionately calling each other “Momma” and “Daddy” in the privacy of their home to their growing baby, but still, the idea of doing it out in public made him instantly embarrassed. Clyde most definitely wanted to do it in public, show everyone that he was going to be a dad to a little baby growing inside his wife, who will be the perfect mother…

Mrs. Potter eventually let up from her husband and hugged Belle, gently patting the woman’s hand resting on her belly. “It’s good that ya got a good man, like Clyde, to take care of ya both. Knowing you two, yer goin’ to be jus’ wonderful parents. I know yer old grandpops would be so happy for ya.”

Clyde watched fondly as Belle began to glow from that particular comment. Mr. and Mrs. Potter both knew Belle’s grandfather for most of the man’s life, so hearing that obviously meant a lot to his wife, seeing those happy tears. The old woman grinned and pinched the pregnant woman’s cheeks fondly. “And don’t forget, once this lil babe is out in the world, m’gonna pull my famous cheek pinchin’, jus’ like I did with ya and did with yer ol’ man, when he was a young rascal.”

Belle snickered when Mrs. Potter fondled her cheeks in the palms of her wrinkled hands, laughing with her. “I’m just glad that you never pinched so hard,” Belle told her. “But, please make sure to wait until they’re old enough.”

“O’course, honey! I didn’t get to pinch yours ‘til you were ‘bout five - yer gramps never let anyone else hold ya, but him, his wife and Joe Bang. He was such a particular man when it came to his lil Rosabelle,” Mrs. Potter promised affectionately. Then, looking to Clyde, Mrs. Potter took Clyde’s hand and pat his knuckles with a loving, motherly grin. “You’ll be a great daddy, Clyde. I know for certain that ol’ goofball in Heaven would’ve adored ya as a grandson-in-law, and a perfect match for his lil grandbaby. He would be so excited for you two becomin’ parents. His wife would’a thought the same.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” Clyde mumbled, unable to stop his cheeks heating up from the kind words from the old lady who helped his wife so much.

“Well, I know for a fact that Pops would be crying his eyes out and drinking with the daddy-to-be, until he knocked himself out in a tree,” a familiar voice caught both Clyde and Belle’s attention. Turning around, they saw Dayton White dressed appropriately in a nice, pressed shirt and dress pants.

“Dayton!” Belle yelled with a bright smile, attempting to jump at her childhood friend until he grasped her shoulders to keep her still as possible, then pull her into a careful hug. Belle hugged him back as tight as possible while Clyde came over, waiting his turn to shake hands with the NASCAR racer and a friendly half-hug. “What the hell are you doing here? You’re suppose to be in California, last time we talked to you!”

“How could I miss the babyshower of my best friend? If I missed out on that, that would just put weight on my shoulders for the rest of my life, for every Christmas and birthday,” he shrugged, like it was the most casual thing ever, making Belle smack his arm at his suggestion. Dayton snickered at her before patting Clyde’s shoulder. “Mellie let me in on the shower details so, as long as you don’t tell my sponsors that I’m going to be here for the rest of the week, then there is no problem.”

“Mellie did? How she’d manage that?” Clyde asked with a raised brow, stealing a glance to his sister on the back porch, sipping a drink and keeping her attention on Sadie showing her dad a new dance move. “Mellie ain’t much of a Facebook person…”

“And for the rest of the week? That’s not like you to miss that much of work,” Belle added, although with a hint of knowledge of what could be happening for her friend.

“We exchanged numbers last time I was in town, but that’s beside the point - Belle, you haven’t been submitting to your cravings, right? You know that you can still eat as normal as you have been, but adding vitamins help -!”

Belle didn’t hesitate to reach and gently raise Dayton’s jaw to shut him up. “If you’re implying that it looks like I’ve gained unnecessary weight, you’re already cruisin’ for a bruisin’, Dayton. Just ask Jimmy and Uncle Joe about how I don’t hesitate to still kick some ass.”

Clyde rubbed his hand across his wife’s back, trying to keep her grounded. “I stand witness to that. I wouldn’t try testin’ her, buddy, you know how she is.”

“Never would have suggested anything like that!” Dayton claimed, then breaking the three into amused grins. “But, really, you do look really good, Belle. It’s just so weird seeing you whenever, and how big your belly is with the baby! Are you excited to see if it is a boy or a girl?”

“That, and have some of Mellie’s cake.” One of the foods Belle had been craving was the sweets her sister in-law would make, and Mellie had been more than happy to spoil her best friend with sweets and going out for ice cream, whenever Clyde couldn’t. But, Dayton didn’t need to know about that and keep himself awake at night about it…

Until the rest of the guests arrived - Joe Bang, Sam and Fish, a couple of Mellie’s coworkers who knew Clyde and Belle, and some of Bobbie Jo’s pageant friends who knew Belle through helping Sadie - Clyde was fairly overwhelmed by the amount of attention he was getting alongside with his wife. Normally, he would have sufficed sitting by Belle, his only hand holding her shoulder or rub her back upon reaction, sitting quietly and admire his wife’s radiant smile and happy laughs. Being asked how he was feeling or being complimented on keeping up with the pregnancy plan and all of the appointments with no problem, Clyde felt his cheeks burn most of the time. Jimmy would smack him teasingly on the shoulder, telling him to enjoy the attention before the baby arrived - because then, it would be how the baby has which of his features or how stinkin’ cute the little bundle of joy is. Clyde would only flush deeper and simply nod, refusing eye contact.

“And expect to not get as much ‘lone time with Belle,” Jimmy added in way too casually, grinning like the teasing big brother that he is. He snickered when Clyde jumped and Belle glared at him. “Jus’ gotta let ya know! Ya won’t be havin’ and special time while changin’ diapers and tryin’ to sleep.”

Clyde was thankful that both Sylvia and Bobbie Jo smacked Jimmy to be quiet before Joe Bang and Belle did. Mellie even threatened him to refuse his piece of cake, and that was when Jimmy kept his mouth shut.

When the time did come for cake, they had the parents-to-be stand at the end of the patio table while everyone surrounded them as Mellie came out of the house with the dessert. The cake was frosted white with homemade buttercream frosting and had pink and blue confetti sprinkles; everyone clapped for Mellie’s craft as she set the cake in front of Belle and Clyde, producing two knives and a cake server. Since it was Mellie’s planning, she was strict in instructing them how to reveal the inside contents of the cake. Jimmy had Sadie on his lap and helped her start recording with his phone. Dayton, the Bang brothers stood behind Joe Bang with Dayton, while the older man sat on a chair with a beer in hand. Mr. and Mrs. Potter were seated at the other end of the table, with proper view of the couple and cake and taking pictures.

“Now ya can’t be takin’ the knives out, or you’ll see the frostin’,” Mellie explained, handing each of them a knife. “Like the weddin’, ya each cut a side and will lift the servin’ up. Make some cute pictures!” She waved her hands to them to get started.

“Okay,” Belle nodded and smiled to Clyde. “How big do you want the piece to be?”

Clyde hummed and moved his knife to decide on a piece, Belle held hers still for him until he decided, grinning in patience all while Jimmy and Sadie were whining for Clyde to hurry.

“Sadie, what are you hoping the baby will be?” Belle asked the young girl, who was being bounced on her dad’s knee in anticipation.

The little blonde girl snickered. “I don’t mind either! Boy or girl is good to me,” she claimed. “It’s gonna be my honeybun!”

“If it’s a boy, how’ya gonna dress him up in dresses?” Jimmy asked dramatically, making Joe Bang roll his eyes.

“Ya can dress up, play the prince or the shiny guy,” Joe Bang explained. “Boys look good in pink, too - or be a cool dragon, like I was!”

“Don’t go tellin’ lil Sadie the story of how ya played princess and dragon when Rosabelle was too lil to understand that playin’ with hairspray and lighters were dangerous!” Mrs. Potter snapped, and Joe Bang simply shrugged with a naughty grin into his beer bottle. Thankfully, Sadie didn’t pay much attention to what was going on, more focused on what her aunt and uncle working with the cake.

“Ignore ‘em, cut the cake!” Bobbie Jo insisted, also having her phone out and recording. Belle did her best to hide back her laughter from the whole situation. Now that Clyde inserted his knife down to the cake plate, it was only causing more anticipation and excitement on the patio porch.

Grabbing the serving knife next, Belle held it between herself and Clyde, waiting as he used his right hand to wrap around hers. He snuck in for a quick kiss before helping her dig it under the cake. The ladies, including Sadie, aww-ed and both Sam and Fish performed a drumroll bit on their cleaned jeans when Clyde broke the kiss and pressed their foreheads together, giving her the most excited eyes sparkling to her.

“Ya ready, Darlin’?” he asked quietly, his smile showing his teeth and the cute wrinkle in his nose whenever he was excited. She felt his hold around her hand tighten a bit, his thumb brushing her skin gently. Sam and Fish’s drumming got more intense when Belle smiled back and nodded. 

“Let’s see what our baby is going to be,” she encouraged, and they raised the cut piece of cake, slowly revealing the chocolate cake hidden underneath - 

And the bright pink filling inside.

xxx.

Fun Fact: Gender reveal parties became a thing in the late 00s, from inspiration of a couple who struggled to have a child for years and were very excited to know what their baby would be! There is a lot of critical responses to it nowadays, however, I think it’s a wonderful story for a couple’s wish coming true. The couple’s daughter, today, likes to wear suits and break gender-norms!!

taglist: @ayatimascd @kyloxfem @kylo-renne @damndriver @formerly-anonhamster @oh-adam @redhairedfeistynerd @rosalynbair @deliriumdoll @bellaren18

If you would like to be added to the list of this drabble series, please feel free to let me know and I would be very happy to add you!! Please let me know what you thought of this chapter, and see you next time.

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 17

IN THIS EPISODE OF CRYING CAT GALLERY:

“Nice?” Cinder laughed under her breath once, and returned to examining her threads. “Oh, come on, Glynda. Favor isn’t in my vocabulary, remember? It’s just a shame about your cape. The emblem looked good, and your new outfit would look much better with it. That’s all.”

CINDER FALL IS REALLY BAD AT NOT BEING GAY ON MAIN

we’re bacc baby B) let’s hop right in

When Glynda awoke from her dream of being consumed,

alright calm down we’ve literally JUST started we’ve literally JUST woken up can we chill Out,

“Cinder?” she yawned, surveying the room.

sneak peek of that Sweet Domestic Life we dream of once this enemies-to-lovers malarkey reaches the ‘lovers’ bit but no we’re just surrounded by enemies. two of them being the writers!

Still, she couldn’t go wandering around Cinder’s apartment in only her underwear, but rooting through the drawers and closet didn’t seem— 

STEAL HER CLOTHES BABY!!!! PRACTICALLY MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The clothes didn’t seem Cinder’s size or style; they were casual and soft, a black t-shirt and steel-gray sweatpants.

okay but the idea of cinder getting up and being like ‘do i have ANYTHING this Unit of a woman will fit into’ and like actually having to think abt it and then folding em up and leaving em there like ‘hope she finds em okay’????? peak. absolutely peak. shes so gay but does she know it? no,

The fabric had enough give to make it work, even if only barely, and she looked in the mirror to see the loungewear looking more like tight athletic wear. Funny that.

kc and diesel envisioning this: oh yes. oh YES. ohhohughohguhghuhu yessssssssss--

She had—trusted? Been trusted? She had told Cinder fragile little things, and had heard similarly earnest words in return. It had been strange. Nice.

i love glynda like. feeling out of the edges of her own comfort and Pleasant Feelings with this almost-wariness? like every word she uses to describe it just Edges a little closer to Softness but she has to taste the word first to see if it fits. her narration is SO fun 2 read yall what the shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

This was Cinder’s house. It wasn’t just any house. These were Cinder’s belongings, Cinder’s resting places, and she was wandering around without Cinder.

Voyeuristic was putting it mildly. Glynda needed to find Cinder, fast.

HJGDKJGHDFSSDF GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! glynda just. losing it at such LITTLE THINGS is so goddamn funny jesus christ. this is cinders house!!! her THINGS!!! fuck she NAPS IN HERE. SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

god i love how soft this is. i know exactly why this is happening and i know exactly how [REDACTED], but i’m living for this moment. living IN it.

Spread out on the table was a wanted poster with a mugshot of Cinder on it, defaced with black permanent marker and crease marks.

cinder: yeah they didnt get the eyebrows sharp enough and im mad abt it

“Well, your clothes are in the wash.” Cinder said, turning around, coffee in hand. It was so…domestic. “It would help if you had more than one set.”

shouting from a distance: you two should get MARRIED

“You’ve been wearing the same dress the entire time I’ve known you.”

look at these lil JABS... the JESTS... the JOQUES... i cant believe theyve been married 10 years already. im also deeply enjoying how very indulgent this section is. I Am Seeing,

Glynda scoffed, and when Cinder reached for the sugar on the counter, she gave it a subtle nudge with her Semblance. It slid out of Cinder’s reach.

JESUS CHRIST LOOK AT THIS WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! soulmates.

Cinder shrugged, still looking elsewhere. “Mercury thought it was funny.”

“Mercury?”

cinder: my son and BOY. and, one day, yr son and boy, tho he won’t take it lying down.

Cinder scoffed. “You just don’t appreciate my good tastes.”

i feel like the evidence is truly stacking up to very much prove this statement wrong but u kno what lets let her figure that one out for herself

“A souvenir from the brats,” she said. “And a letter excusing the mess they made of the place.”

KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS

She said, “I just didn’t know you had kids.”

KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS

“It’s fine,” said Cinder tersely, but not harshly. “It isn’t wise to advertise in my business, so keep it to yourself.”

KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD YES that little like... indirect admittance that em and merc r basically her own kids is a fucking BLESSING from ON HIGH are you SEEING THIS SHIT????????????? we have been fed today. my crops r watered and my lambs bouncing over the green fields as we feast. what a moment. wow. what a chapter.

When Cinder finally finished hers and rose to get another cup, Glynda allowed some of her thoughts to solidify. She said, “I want new clothes.”

as a side note, i think it rly shows the strength of the writing that the feeling of the narrative can change so much, esp when u take into consideration that we jump between the points of view of TWO characters? like with cinder we’ve gone from sheer fury to gruesome sickness, and with glynda we’ve gone from Complete Dissociation to this gentle and soft morning and you can feel it absolutely fluffing up in every word! still love how good the writing in this fic is its NUTS

Cinder shrugged. Her usual clothes were still in the wash; right now, she was wearing high-waisted black pants and a loose top tucked in.

diesel i want you to know im thinking abt what u said abt the high-waisted pants mods in sims 4 and im giggling

The necklace with Glynda’s earring hung from her throat.

i didnt mention it before but this is the... second time this chapter its been explicitly mentioned? and i know we could be like ‘ah the MEANING’ but honestly im like glynda r u rly not over the bobbies y

“You aren’t dead in there, are you?” came Cinder’s voice.

“No.”

“Well. At this pace, I will be before we get out of here.”

cinder, who probably once spent 7+ hours choosing an outfit: look its only cool if i do it, dipshit,

Unsnapping the lone earring left to her, she brought it to her collar and fixed it there, under the clasped button to dangle just over her sternum.

When she stepped out of the changing room, Cinder looked up. A slow dawn of interest eclipsed the boredom on her face. Glynda stood very still as her gaze flowed up and down again, pausing over the earring.

Cinder touched the matching one hanging from her own neck, almost in surprise. She cleared her throat. Her tone was very deliberately mocking: “Cute.”

OOOOOOOOOOOH MY GOD are we for SERIOUS right now??? jesus christ. jesus christ. we’ve moved on past married now this is ride-or-die shit right here what the FUCK. jesus CHRIST. theres- i- i have THOUGHTS on this matter that are spoilery and so i will SIT ON THIS EGG but HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT

“Nothing,” Cinder said, smoothing her expression into something unreadable. “I was just thinking—nevermind.” 

no, no, go on, speak yr mind, please do, because if u were abt to offer to embroider that shit then PLEASE say it aloud for the audience at home

“If I was a cop, you’d already be in jail.”

“You’re welcome to try to take me in, darling.”

im sure its obvious but im BESIDE myself @ this flirting. im losing it. this is SUCH a treat and i KNOW that [REDACTED] [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

“That’s because of your—” Cinder was already gone. Glynda pressed her lips together, but watched her go. Rolling her eyes, she finished, “—Grimm tattoos.”

Whatever. She could gloat about figuring it out later.

/CHOKES

WHAT

@kc and diesel: CALL ME RIGHT NOW WHAT THE FUCK

okay okay. wait. okay. wait. theres. wait. okay. i cant. am i safe to say anything. probably not. so. im not gonna. but. you WILL be seeing me in dms, friends,

okay okay im moving on im gonna. keep going. okay. okay. im going. (but i will be in dms)

there was a brief discussion of dinner: namely, that neither of them wanted to make it.

oh god why is this me

“Give me your new cape.”

“What?”

Finally looking up, Cinder said, “Your cape. Let me have it, and I’ll put your emblem on it.”

THANK YOU MA’AM AND THANK YOU FOR READING THE FIC HAS ENDED ITS ALL OVER WITH!!!!!! WE DID IT!!!!!!! WE RODE THIS WHOLE TRAIN TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!! UNFORTUNATELY IF ONLY IT WERE SO EASY.

Glynda ignored it for the time being and sent the vector of her emblem to Cinder.

i deeply love the idea of all hunters and huntresses carrying a vector of their emblem JUST IN CASE,,, SMTHNG HAPPENS,,, its right alongside the list of their next of kin and their will and testament,

Cinder Fall was a name built on Dust and money and extravagant demonstrations.

But Cinder Fall was also a woman with a family. A home. A favorite blend of coffee.

this is absolutely kicking me in the dick for reasons i cant say but also for reasons of SNOFT because oh my god. this is. like. this is why i rly vibe w. cinder in this fic and is also like one of my favourite characterisations of cinder of ALL TIME (which is why all my fav cinder fics typically have it as a Theme). shes SO good and SO dimensional and i just. god. GOD. i LOVE HER!!!!!!!!! ID DIE FOR HER!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA CINDER FALL IS MY ANGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL

It felt like being told a secret, like being told a thousand secrets, and not knowing what to do with them. All she could do was hold them in her palms, delicate as she could, trying not to break anything.

GIMME ARMS TO PRAY WITH INSTEAD OF ONES THAT HOLD TOO TIGHTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /goes apeshit

And because of that, Glynda asked, “Do you have any more stories?”

Without looking up, Cinder drawled, “About Witches?”

“Or dragons.”

Gold flickered her way.

👈😳👈

“They’d already been built by the Witches that came before her,” Cinder replied. “But she’d been a headmaster at one of them, and a teacher before that.”

Something in Glynda’s chest gleamed.

lore lore lore lore LORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lets GET THAT LORE as i peer blearily thru tears,

“...You haven’t just been pretending not to remember things, have you?”

firstly: called out lmao JHGSDFKJHGFSD and SECONDLY:

“The moon?” Cinder made a face. “I’m not sure if it’s that literal. Your soul is powerful, but it’s not a physical thing. Besides, the moon is…”

“Broken,” Glynda finished for her.

“Yeah.”

hm what a fascinating thing hm how interesting hm hm HMMMM 👈🤔👈

Even as they ate, they both seemed lost in their own heads, but somehow, to Glynda, it seemed perfectly clear that both of them were wondering the same thing.

wait glynda. hey glynda. did u uh. ever. did u uh. text winter back or w

WE DID IT CHAPTER 17!!!!!!!!!!! this was a Lot (4,500 words? yall better be careful before those 10k chapters return to Haunt Us) and was also, a Lot. holy shit. theres. i. id make a spoiler edition but tbh its just the SAME SPOILER thats like. rly driving this chapter. i know what its for. i know it. i feel it. dont trust winter more like dont trust the writers

ANYWAY I LOOK FORWARD (?) EAGERLY (???) to chapter 18, unsure when the vibes will turn rancid for the worse. when. honey. theres a big storm coming.

Rose’s Q&A’s on Saturday

Rose was asked about World's End: She said it was fun playing a blue blooded fem bot.

Didn't hear the question but Rose said she joined a youth centre after school & did things like Joseph's technicolor dream coat and enjoyed it so much. Then she went on to drama school cause she's not really academic. She's more creative so discovered it (assuming it's acting lol) at 10 years old.  Rose also said there were a few times on set where she did self tapes for American accents. And she made Andy (Andrew West) speak lines into her phone for her to listen to later, but would often break character and ask what the hell he was reading because it was all so weird.

Dog: Rose does not have a dog but Andy does and Rose loves her - there are also videos of Rose singing with Nala (his dog).

Chocolate Cake: Rose likes chocolate cake!

Superpowers: Rose would like to stop time, freezing and unfreezing whenever she wants. And apparently Rob a bank, since she wouldn't use her powers for good. (There was also a lot of talk about space time continuum XD)

Can’t remember the question but Colin is annoying and does Rose('s accent) all the time! He asked if she was excited to go home for Xmas. And she answered with a thick accent because she was excited and Colin teased and mimicked her so much!

Song to get her dancing (not allowed to say rock and roll): Dreams and You Make Loving Fun by Fleetwood Mack.

Character was a cocktail it would be: Tilly would be something like a gramble with a twist!

Describing life story in one sentence: uuuuhhhhh (then made fun of Andy for using one word rather than one sentence) and decided "take the work seriously but never yourself" because that's what she's like.

Tilly or Alice?: She loves both but got to explore Tilly so has a stronger connection to her. But would have loved to explore Alice in Wonderland more.

Favourite memory in S7: Andy opening the door during a scene with her and Colin and just looked really shifty. And also, Colin was being very camp!

Would she want to become the next Doctor: She'd rather be a companion because Jodie is killing it.

Which cast member was most welcoming: Bobby because she had all her scenes with him and he's so generous and told her stories about his work past.

Favourite part about Alice: Her resilience because no one believes her but she doesn't let that get to her and she’s very optimistic and fights on.

What she loves about the fans: That they travel with the show and are committed and she really appreciates it.

Memorable Scenes: Rose remembers meeting Andy for the script read during the first day. And the last day when everyone says goodbye to everyone.

Couldn't hear the question again but Rose said it was a massive scene to conquer Gothel and that was a turning point. So after the curse she picked up the pieces with her family.

What did Rose miss about Devon: Getting from A to B  It also took her five hours to drive here but she did it! So woo!

How did she prepare for the role: She didn't have the pressure of researching a real person. But reading the books helped. She read Alice in Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass and then researched Lewis Carole and about him and his inspiration.  She also watched the show to know the genre and style and wished she could have done more of her own Alice In Wonderland like the Spinoff. 

If she could voice an animated character: She would be the voice of Penelope from Wreck It Ralph (or maybe Penelope's sistet).

(Sweetest lil girl just went up and said "I Love You Rose") 

Hardest scene to film: Any scene where you cry cause you have to do it so much. They're hard and tiring because you have to be in that frame of mind for hours even between the breaks of filming.

Headcanon for Alice not trapped in the tower: (She didn't know what a headcanon was at first and we had to explain it to her lol) She'd love to see the places she could go and just sail to see the world and lands. Imagine seeing Wonderland by boat.

Fav scene in general: Scenes with Colin, Bobby and Andy. And when Rogers invites Tilly to live with him. And the improvised I Love You scene. Fav Tiera scene: First day they met for the make out scene when she introduced herself. She met her by saying "hello I'm rose were gonna be kissing in a few hours". But also loads of other stuff. 

What would get her to make a deal with The Dark One: She would make a deal if Rumple could give them their superpowers (the ones they spoke about earlier)!

If she wasn’t an actor she would be: A nature photographer.

If she could be any other character: Rose would be Henry.

What live action Disney character would she be: Ariel. Or Aurora.

Missed the question but Rose is straight  but was so happy and proud to represent a lesbian woman. She also added “happy pride month!” 

Character she wished they could have done that wasn’t already in the show: She wished we could see the Jabberwocky!

What Alice wrote to Robin in her letter: "My Love, No matter where you are I will find you. I will always love you even if I forget, I will NOT forget. Even if I do, I WILL remember you."

Hidden talent or skill: No Apart from singing with Andy's dog. 

Person who made them laugh: Andy who loved going to his whiteboard during the episode when she, Rogers and Henry were all together trying to figure things out. And after every take he would be writing different things each time.

Game Of Thrones Finale: She was very disappointed with Game of Thrones. She said it felt rushed. Some of the things she was happy about, and some she felt was too quick even if it was how she expected it to end.

And that’s it! There was a bit or a misunderstanding before Rose realised they were trying to tell her to wrap it up, lol. 

@angercide 👉 👀 send 👉 for some muses i’d like to throw at you! multimuse meme | accepting

ok first of all church i want to write everyone w u bc i love writing w u and want all the things in the world, that said

trina bc uh? they’d hate each other so much and it’d be the most Iconic thing

harrison bc unpopular boys?? easy to make friends except neither of them r the nicest people all the time so,,, possibly some angry words exchanged but these boys could be bffs,,, maybe even,, if connor ended up in hospital after an attempt while harrison was in hospital,,, this could develop a friendship

kevin we did a lil bit with back on jocksaved and talked ab a bunch but kevin Trying to be friends w connor and it never really workin out then kevins whole canon shit happens and then suddenly connor sees kevin Trying To Recover after one of his attempts and kevins trying to pretend he’s fine bc he wants to make sure connors ok but kevin’s uh,,, goin thru some Shit and its Obvious

zach would be fun simply bc these dumbass idiots would cause so much chaos?? two boys with anger issues and a habit for destruction?? one of which suddenly has an alien laser gun on his arm?? an iconic duo thanks

nick could be easy too i mean if we do the kevin stuff there’s just knowing him thru bein kevin’s brother and he’s a dealer so there’s easy stuff we could do there too

tina im mostly listing just bc school students r somewhat easy to plot w but we could v easily do like. bitchy popular girl that he’s constantly havin issues w and then the canon stuff of carrie happens and either a) connors at prom and survives and maybe even is the one to save tina or b) connors not at prom and the next time he sees tina she’s in a wheelchair and she’s Different and nicer now

amanda again im just a hoe for students interacting but spoiled rich girl? possibly a family friend even?? connor being one of the only people that knows her parents arent actually dead bc he knows them?? iconic

belle this bitch has a few options ok i love her and a) she goes to school w him, is at every party, she’s a cheerleader but she’s also got the attitude of someone who isnt a cheerleader OR b) we take belle’s adult arc where she’s a therapist and just kinda. Work With That

bobbi is my fave listen i love her she’s the best worst teacher in the world. she’s a bitch and she’s mean and she loves to fail people but she also cares ab her students wholeheartedly and would probably pick up on signs connor’s not okay and try to help him and like. she’d still be A Bitch in class bc threatening to fail everyone is her favorite past time but being nice to him outside of class?? giving him better grades bc she likes him??? Yes Please

beth so idk if you’ve got Ideas for an apocalypse verse and tbh i don’t have Many ideas but soft gentle girl with angry boy?? something im weak for, and if we wanna get Emo about it there’s the thought of them bein together before grady while she’s soft and good and then she ends up in grady and then she manages to get out and when they find each other again she’s covered in scars and she’s somewhat hardened and just the Contrast of who she was and who she is now but also?? she’s got no memory of the apocalypse so we could cry over a) her not remembering connor at all if they met post-apocalypse OR b) she knew him pre-apocalypse and remembers who he is but doesnt remember their time together post-apocalypse

kaycee i love my dumb idiot girl ok she does A Lot of drugs and drinks a bit and could v easily be friends w connor through that somehow

kirstee honestly they’d probably hate each other i love kirstee but she’s a Bitch i have no plot ideas i just think these two would b funny

autumn idk i just think it’d be funny to throw him in w a criminal and autumn would be funny bc he could be yellin at her and she probably Wouldn’t Even Notice since she’s completely deaf she’d just not be looking at him and when she does eventually look up he’s in the midst of a rage and that’s hilarious to me

steve they’d probably not really get along i just think it’d be funny bc steve is So Awkward and he’s an idiot criminal

parker again just a fun crime muse he’s an Extra Awkward idiot who Cant Die and who is too polite for his own good he’s such a people pleaser and some part of me just wants connor to find out he Cant Die and then when connor’s real angry parker just ‘ok come over and stab me a few times see how u feel’ and then when connor’s done stabbing him and they’ve controlled the bleeding issue they just chill and have a beer and watch tv

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: I'm not at work Jimmy: if you were gonna come in and be #goals Janis: weren't Janis: but tah for heads-up Jimmy: 👍 Janis: do you know 'bout my fave barista or should I roll the dice Jimmy: he's covering for me Janis: oh good Janis: 💕 Jimmy: can't say I never do owt for you, mate Janis: don't cash the IOU yet Jimmy: why? Jimmy: I get it, you look as rough as I feel but Pete ain't that shallow 💕 Janis: fuck off Janis: I'm great Jimmy: bollocks Janis: am too Janis: been for my run and everything Janis: I can handle mine, like Jimmy: fake it for the 'gram, my dear, I don't need to hear it, like Janis: later then skiver Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I've got two kids hanging round my neck, what are you doing? Janis: no concern of yours Janis: check the socials if you're so interested Jimmy: you'll be grooming your horse or counting your cash, no need Jimmy: and now making yourself look #🔥 for the CG Janis: wow, you know me so well Janis: #flex when it counts Jimmy: [does like a cringey tweet for her or something] Jimmy: there Janis: 👏 Janis: sound cover it for today Jimmy: 👌 Janis: if you see a purse can you chuck it back to me Jimmy: after I've taken all the cash out, yeah Janis: 👑 don't carry cash Janis: it's got my gym card in it though so, if you do find it Jimmy: guess I'm working out today too then 💪🏆 tah Janis: welcome Jimmy: [a moment cos he's looking for it genuinely] Jimmy: where do you want me to bring it? Janis: oh good Janis: you at work tomorrow Jimmy: Can't pull a sickie every day, can I? Jimmy: not cancer riddled yet Janis: cheery Janis: don't bother getting out your sickbed Janis: just give it to grace Jimmy: how's that gonna look? Jimmy: you're already not babysitting with me right now 💔 Janis: 🙄 Janis: fine I'll come get it tomorrow then Jimmy: or meet me at the park by mine, get it, pose a bit and pretend you're with me today Janis: not really in the mood Janis: hungover or nah Jimmy: fake it Janis: that's precisely what I'm not in the mood for Janis: I ain't at home, just say I'm there Jimmy: hang on, I'll just photoshop you in Jimmy: won't be suss Janis: we don't need to be together 24/7 Janis: only that lot are that highkey Jimmy: you wanted highkey, mate Jimmy: and I just put my hand down the back of a fucking minging sofa for you, top that Janis: nah, that was definitely you Janis: 💕 Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: on it with your lies this morning, you Jimmy: just what I look for in a lass that 😍😍 Janis: bitch what lie, where Janis: highkey for highkey was 100% your line Jimmy: you said some shit about appealing to our audience first Jimmy: and that you didn't wanna scale it back so there's your lie, Jenna Janis: whatever Janis: I'm busy right now Janis: maybe I'll come by later Jimmy: I won't be walking the dog later, I'll be walking her in a bit Jimmy: gonna knock and run instead though Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: fuck sake Janis: be there then Janis: not hanging about Jimmy: and I am? the shit you've gotta do ain't more important than mine, girl Janis: how'd you know Janis: not a competition anyway Jimmy: that'd be a first Janis: ha ha Janis: stop mucking about Janis: can you be there in 20? Jimmy: can you? Janis: obviously Jimmy: 👍 Janis: try and look like you're not dying Jimmy: late nights are #goals Jimmy: keep up Janis: if you leave out all actual details Janis: sure Jimmy: weren't gonna tweet 'em all out Janis: have you checked what you did put out Janis: always got to take back the bootycalls and texts to your ex before the PM Jimmy: I deleted my ex's number ages ago, we're all set Jimmy: only got the 1 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: toodles my love Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: it's alright Janis: not gonna tell your manager on you when I'm there Jimmy: You'd have to run into him first Jimmy: even for an athlete like you, that's a challenge too far Janis: #officebants Janis: save it for Pete Jimmy: giving you a freebie to woo him with Jimmy: welcome Janis: if you knew how, you would've already Jimmy: might've done, how would you know? Jimmy: gotta keep it off the socials for your sake Janis: 😂 Janis: you think you'd be better at faking it by now Jimmy: oh you've got complaints, eh? Jimmy: go on Janis: don't you have an official procedure to follow Janis: another question to ask Jimmy: not on the clock, babe Janis: 'course Janis: so sick Janis: poor boy Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: I'll live Janis: wow, way to ruin my day Janis: 💔 Jimmy: too soon to start posting vent statuses probably Jimmy: poor little rich girl Janis: I'll deal with getting consoled on the low, like Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you gotta bring the kids or Jimmy: or what, lock 'em in? Janis: I dunno, your sister ain't that young is she Jimmy: she's not coming Janis: okay Janis: well I won't keep you Jimmy: I'm on the dog's 💩 schedule not yours Janis: yeah but you know what I mean Jimmy: you're busy, you don't need to kill your horse to flog it, Jasmine Jimmy: point made Janis: if you like Jimmy: how? Janis: how? Jimmy: how are my likes owt to do with it? Janis: well that ain't what I meant so it must suit you at the very least Jimmy: what did you mean? Janis: that I ain't gonna hang 'round and cause drama Janis: I remember waking him up last night, like Jimmy: he's got swings and a slide and climbing frame, on top of a puppy to chase, he's not gonna give a shit about me or you Jimmy: my sister's the one being dramatic and as I said, she ain't coming Janis: well either way Janis: I shouldn't have come back, like so Jimmy: you didn't stay, it don't matter Janis: I know that ain't how it works Janis: got enough inconsiderate older brothers and sisters, like Jimmy: how it works is I was back later than I said Jimmy: nowt to do with you Janis: literally untrue Jimmy: you were there, don't mean you get it Jimmy: no need to unlock my family dynamics Janis: ain't trying or planning to Janis: I kept you out late and I'm trying to say soz so take it Jimmy: like you forced me, piss off Janis: didn't mean to get you in trouble with your boss, like Jimmy: you didn't Janis: sounds like it Jimmy: where you getting that from? Janis: she's giving you the 🥶 out Jimmy: she's giving me the 🖕 Jimmy: used to that Janis: 🎻 Janis: alright then, I'm here early Janis: gonna do some laps, text when you're here or something Jimmy: [appears not long after like oh hey but not texting cos can't be tamed] Janis: [when you're shook again but hide it like boy, putting your hand out like purse please] Jimmy: [chucks it at her obvs which makes Twix a little bit wild] Janis: [meet cute with the dog lmao, also saying hello to Bobby 'cos you aren't that rude] Jimmy: [when Bobby ain't saying hello back cos shy egg but Twix is friendly enough for everyone] Janis: [not gonna take it personal, like, even if this is so awks now, takes a few snaps of Twix and turns to him like yay or nay?] Jimmy: [takes some pics of her and Twix in response cos nothing fake about that love or cuteness and it's a good delaying tactic before you have to pose with the bae yourself] Janis: [takes him his messy self and is 😏 but can't be properly smug 'cos feeling it too] Janis: in* Jimmy: [he's literally 😎 but grumpier lol then he has to let Bobby take some pics cos the boy wanna do whatever he does like bear with bae] Janis: [when that's shamelessly cute so you just chill on a bench nearby, giving love to Twix when she comes 'round Jimmy: [when you go sit on a swing so your brother will but you gotta beckon her over to sit on it with you for the pics and it's gonna be so awks bye] Janis: [when you just have to commit to it 'cos overcompensate always] Jimmy: [taking so many pics and vids for the different angles honey] Janis: [when you're still looking #goals oh lads, as if you're not dying at having to be sat on him rn] Jimmy: [when he's likewise dying at her being on his lap though #don'tletherseedon'tletherknow] Janis: [you do not need this many pictures, hop off] Jimmy: [when you then spend 3x as long as it takes to go through 'em deleting etc cos the awks] Janis: send me any decent ones Jimmy: [does] Janis: tah Jimmy: 💕 Janis: have fun Jimmy: without you, never, baby 😘 Janis: [does lil lol as she's slowly walking away like okay then, but Twix keeps following so it's taking a while] Janis: come get your dog Jimmy: take it with you Janis: don't be mean Janis: it's adorable Jimmy: have it then Janis: the kid don't hate me yet, don't throw me under the bus as a 🐶napper Jimmy: he ain't noticed, on you go Janis: he will do Janis: you just want me to walk it, yeah Jimmy: Keep it Jimmy: what could be more #goals? Janis: we need to buy one together and have a custody battle Jimmy: alright Jimmy: let's go adopt a new 🐶 Janis: what breed Jimmy: what's #trending? Jimmy: leave this one tied to the roundabout, hang on Janis: not with your brother Janis: get rspca and social on you Jimmy: I'll send him home Jimmy: note pinned to his coat, like Janis: actually 💔 Jimmy: don't cry, you'll get a headache Janis: so comforting Janis: #baeoftheyear Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt darling Janis: I've had my vitamin c already Janis: but we can pretend you hit me with a smoothie of 💕 Janis: ew Jimmy: do you genuinely have a vomit kink or what? Jimmy: getting me close, girl 🤢🤢🤢 Jimmy: trying to put me off my 🍕 before I've ordered it Jimmy: Mia would be proud Janis: hot Janis: 😬 I didn't think that sentence through leave me alone Janis: I'm not on top form rn Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: knew you were wrecked too Janis: not as much as you, boy Jimmy: I drank more than you, lightweight Janis: yeah, 'cos you stole it Janis: wanker Jimmy: you stole my jacket, I didn't wanna freeze to death Janis: I did not Janis: you wouldn't take it back Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: I remember being gutted it WAS you, trust me Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: I know Janis: heartless, me Jimmy: You wanna fill that hole with pizza or keep flirting with me? Janis: 'scuse me Jimmy: it's an easy question Jimmy: how many braincells did you 💀💀💀 last night, pisshead? Janis: sounded sordid Janis: I was just wondering if #kinkunlocked Jimmy: Are you hungry or not? You know I'm a feeder Janis: Yeah, I could eat Jimmy: so come on back to the house of fun Janis: sure Jimmy: [rounding up dogs and kids like but Bobby's in a mood cos he wanna stay so Jimmy's like FINE I'll get it delivered to the park ffs so then he gotta text Cass to get her to come over lol] Janis: [moves closer to 'em again, sits on said roundabout Jimmy: [sits with her obvs when you lowkey lying there cos you feel crap] Janis: [popping out some painkillers like here boy] Jimmy: [when you dry swallow cos you ain't got a drink & then stick your tongue out to show her they gone cos you a nerd] Janis: [pat his head like he's a dog] Jimmy: [letting it happen] Janis: [pushing back his fringe 'cos sweaty forehead] Jimmy: [thank god he's got his shades on so he can look at her & she doesn't need to know that he isn't a grumpy boy in that moment] Janis: [when Bobby wants to be pushed so she's like is it okay if I do it 'cos Jimmy is in no fit state lol and Bobby is like okay 'cos just wants to be pushed and she ain't up in his face] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna be snapping sneaky pics of them cos cute. Also I like to imagine Twix annoying him as he's tryna chill lol] Janis: [just loling to herself 'cos also cute] Janis: probably go sleep on something that doesn't spin 'round and 'round, babe Jimmy: I'm not going to sleep, I'm 💀💀💀ing tah very much Jimmy: show some respect all of you Janis: 😂 Janis: I'll save the kind words and tears for when you gone Janis: gotta fake it 'til the end Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: what do you wanna eat? pizza faves weren't on our couples questionnaire Janis: anything hot, anything with meat on Janis: I'm easy tbh Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Oh, shut up Jimmy: or what? Janis: or I'll come give you a push Jimmy: so fierce you 🐅 Janis: better hope you never find out, boy Janis: 👊 Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: [a wild Cass appears and ignores everyone but Twix cos mad about last night still] Jimmy: you've got competition now, mate Janis: nah, you're on your own Janis: 🤷 soz Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: got enough sisters of my own to deal with without taking on yours Janis: you'll need to fake marry a bitch for that level of service Jimmy: swap you Gracie, she likes me Jimmy: [goes to talk to Cass and she shouts at him as is their standard, really helping that headache] Janis: happily Janis: beats crying Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [Keeping Bobby busy running 'round the park like a crazy person] Jimmy: [if this weren't awks before thanks Cass just don't smack him his fake gf don't need to see that before she's even met you] Janis: she'll cheer up when pizza gets here Janis: all been hangry Jimmy: subtle hint that, Judith Janis: I'm being lovely, fuck off Jimmy: not to me Janis: you really gonna push a child off the swing to have a go Janis: not #goals mate, not #goals at all Jimmy: you really gonna let my sister think my girlfriend don't like me Jimmy: #savage Janis: Yeah, what she needs right now is some PDA Janis: love me for that, like Jimmy: you leapt to that, mate Jimmy: lads and lasses can talk you know Janis: You know I don't talk Janis: we been over this Janis: #specialsnowflakesyouandme Jimmy: we've been over this, you have to fake it Jimmy: I get that you really wanna kiss me but everything else Janis: 😒 Janis: you really want another woman in your face rn, fine Janis: [comes over like hey] Jimmy: [drags her far enough away that they can 🚬 without being around kids or dogs] Janis: [grateful for the break but also more awks 'cos just them again] Jimmy: [smoking in awkward silence such fun lads] Janis: [taps his head, not roughly, like, how're you doing now?] Jimmy: [shrugs because v helpful always] Janis: ['good talk' like ain't that what we're meant to be doing lmao] Jimmy: ['you don't wanna' like here's your out for a sec, take it] Janis: [goes to shake head but turns it into a shrug] Jimmy: [on his phone like an antisocial bitch] Janis: [when you're bouncing your legs up and down 'cos can't sit still at the best of times, just keeping an eye out for the pizza hardcore] Jimmy: [meanwhile you just straight up sit on the floor cos you realise you don't need to be standing rn] Janis: [Twix gonna jump you boy] Jimmy: [when you're like come here cos you don't want the dog in your grill so the bae MUST sit on you instead, that's just logical and nbd] Janis: [when you look at him like really?] Jimmy: [ just lifting your shades so you can look at her like come on] Janis: [does and gives him a look like 'I hate you so much' but when it's also a LOOK] Jimmy: [is 😏 but when she's sitting with her he's just touching her in the SOFTEST ways like playing with her hair & so lightly tracing her skin with a fingertip that you might think it's a bug or something lol cos tired af since he barely slept and is the softest boy] Janis: [when there's no faking that you ain't about it 'cos you have never felt anything on this level of soft so you don't know how you're meant to be so you're like help] Jimmy: [when you're then just leaning on her so its lowkey snuggling] Janis: [when you literally say 'what the fuck' but quietly and with feeling] Jimmy: [when you don't say anything cos what can you tbh] Janis: [gotta have that pizza show up to cockblock] Jimmy: [just casually gonna go eat pizza with the fam like that didn't happen okay boy] Janis: [when you're just there like do I stay or do I go] Jimmy: [when you literally handhold her over to the fam like eat your pizza but obvs its so fake bye] Janis: [palm a couple of slices and yeet babe like g2g bye] Jimmy: [Twix is 💔 we're all 💔] Janis: [give her some sneaky pizza kids] Jimmy: [nomming the crusts like a Roo] Janis: [getting tooty] Jimmy: [well that was awkward, thanks so much Jimothy] Janis: [later like early PM] Janis: I need a favour Jimmy: ? Janis: doesn't matter if I can't come over/you can't come out but just meet me for obligatory selfies to prove we're together Jimmy: where? Janis: doesn't matter, can be a #datenight or #cosynightinwithbae but gimme fake plans to get me out of real & unwanted ones Jimmy: alright Jimmy: come here then Janis: you home now? Jimmy: I'm not gonna send you somewhere I ain't, am I? Janis: alright smartarse Janis: was being courteous Janis: be there in fucking forever 'cos gotta get the bus in Jimmy: I just got out the shower if you need details, like Jimmy: you want me to meet you somewhere else? Janis: I did not need to know but I'll get the 😍 on then, tah Janis: nah, it's fine, got to get out this house anyway, wherever I'm going Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: Tell Mia I missed her today before you go if she's there #obvs Janis: how did you know Janis: but get to fuck Janis: she's being avoided #obvs Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: How did I recognise an #obvs SOS or the #obvs cause when I heard it? Janis: yeah well it's all your fault so you should be more ready to help Janis: #letdown tbh Jimmy: what have I done? Janis: they wouldn't be strongarming me into a sleepover if you weren't a thing Janis: but you can be my excuse too so do me a solid and make it good Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: you're v loved babe and you were before I took the job on Janis: oh yeah, so loved Janis: no doubt end up getting waterboarded for info Janis: #justgirlythings Jimmy: 😂 Janis: it is not funny 😡 Jimmy: a bit Janis: 😑 Janis: swap places with me then Janis: sure they'd welcome that just as much Jimmy: if I wanted an orgy with 'em it'd have happened before now Janis: 🤢 Janis: literally shut up Jimmy: you should've got me to pick you up Janis: in what Janis: your sportscar Jimmy: 🖕 Janis: I've got the 🐎 don't I Jimmy: might've turned it to glue Jimmy: party animal you are Janis: is that what you're thinking then Janis: party? Jimmy: what are you wearing? Janis: 😏 the creep makes a return Janis: wys I should be wearing Janis: bus ain't even here yet so Jimmy: Look down, girl, are you night in ready or night out ready? Janis: I dunno, obviously I've not rolled out club-ready like a nutter Jimmy: stop pissing about and send me a picture 🙄 Janis: ffs alright! Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: [snap] Jimmy: fuck it, let's go out Janis: yeah? Janis: okay Jimmy: a knobhead from work is having people round, I weren't gonna bother but Ian's just got in Jimmy: don't wanna double with him and his missus Janis: definitely not Janis: nothing goals in that Janis: works for me Janis: not such a knobhead he'll have a dresscode, yeah? Jimmy: hot girls get to ignore dresscodes, how don't you know that? Janis: I would've probably put jeans on still Janis: what happens when you're forced from your own home without warning Jimmy: he wears shorts all year round, don't worry, like Janis: not got the legs for it Janis: I understand Jimmy: I'll dress the same as you mate, make it a #mood Jimmy: we're just one of them couples Janis: ha, if I use the # twinning not in reference to her, gracie will deffo cry Janis: worth it just for that Jimmy: there you go then Janis: 💕 Jimmy: I'm going shop so we ain't empty handed, what do you want? Janis: can't be THAT couple Janis: you want me to tell you I'm easy again 'cos Janis: not fussed Jimmy: my mum would cry, didn't drag me up like that 🙄 Jimmy: 😏😏😏 Janis: such a 💔breaker you Janis: but really, just get more of whatever you want and that'll be fine, I'll get you back when I get there Jimmy: yeah yeah Jimmy: no need to flex rich girl Jimmy: you're a cheap date Jimmy: didn't even stay for icecream or owt earlier Janis: so I'm cheap and easy Janis: yeah, keep digging, like 😏 Jimmy: 😍😍😍🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: have you not got a jacket or were you just #posing 'cause you're a massive flirt? Janis: why would I need a jacket when you're handing yours away like a philanthropic chippendale Janis: how dare you imply I was implying anything, also Jimmy: I can't even read them words Jimmy: too northern for that shit tah Jimmy: I'll just grab you one #OMG #soannoying Jimmy: how dare you flirt with me so openly, anyone'd reckon that's what snapchat was invented for or something Janis: Chippendales are SO northern, shut up Janis: I've done my research, I take this seriously, tah Janis: you know, too much nip for Insta, could post it on twitter if you're feeling too special rn Jimmy: I didn't get that far the word before it was well big and tripped me over Jimmy: as for my research the 🐶 ate it, soz Janis: Cute but disappointing Janis: if I was to give you a yelp review Jimmy: she is Jimmy: get used to that Janis: omg Janis: so mean Jimmy: 🐶💔 Janis: We're gonna make a club Janis: get jackets that ain't yours Jimmy: you're so fake Jimmy: couldn't do one fast enough from her before Janis: oh yeah, that's deffo what that was Jimmy: ain't stopped crying 'bout it, the poor pup Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: again, your fault Janis: and you ain't even sorry Janis: poor, poor pup Jimmy: I only take the blame for shit I ain't done for my real girlfriends Janis: plural now Jimmy: past and future, duh Janis: duh indeed Janis: hopeful Janis: it's cute Jimmy: say what you really think, Janet Janis: always do Jimmy: [sends her pic of his outfit] Jimmy: Go on then Janis: I mean Janis: not as good as me but you'll do Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🍻🤞 Jimmy: don't let me get as wrecked Jimmy: If I have to call in sick tomorrow an' all, you'll have to pay me Janis: So I'm babysitter Janis: alright Janis: easy Jimmy: I've done it all day, swapsies Janis: not me Jimmy: could've if you'd been here Janis: you reckon Janis: last I remember you was about half 💀💀💀 Jimmy: you're calling yourself high maintenance now? Jimmy: easy a bit ago Janis: just saying Janis: you needed looking after more than me Jimmy: leave it out Janis: why Jimmy: why not be a massive dickhead? Jimmy: up to you that Janis: you wanna play nice? Janis: n'awh Jimmy: you're the one asking me for a favour Jimmy: so you do Janis: nah Janis: I asked for a photo, that's all Jimmy: stop being a twat Janis: charming Jimmy: you just said you don't want that Janis: you're very, very annoying Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: but I'm on the bus Jimmy: congrats, mate Jimmy: I know it's beneath you 👑 Janis: piss off Janis: I spend half my life on this fucking bus Jimmy: shouldn't have done your 🐎 in Janis: s'what happens when I'm done w you Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: got my headphones but thank you Janis: efforts are always appreciated, boy Jimmy: 😘 don't mention it, babe Jimmy: anything for you obvs Janis: too kind Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: let me know when you're about then Janis: yeah 'course Janis: it's about half an hour so Jimmy: 👍 Janis: damn Janis: how haven't I asked Janis: is my fave barista gonna be there or what Jimmy: ??? Jimmy: man of mystery him Janis: how irritating yet attractive of him Jimmy: I keep telling you, slide into his DMs, girl Jimmy: sort it out Janis: not right now Janis: biding my time Jimmy: probably got a gig anyway 🤩🤩 Janis: exactly Jimmy: if I had anywhere else better to be Janis: what you gonna do eh Jimmy: 🎻💔 Janis: gutted Jimmy: give us a chance to get in the door before you leave your review Jimmy: bit rude shouting it from a bus window Janis: that's me Janis: got money but no manners Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Janis: 😏 what mine or yours Janis: #transparent Jimmy: weren't speaking for you Jimmy: we ain't that couple Janis: 😶😶 Janis: that couple Jimmy: 😂 Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: What? Janis: how much of last night do you remember Janis: 'cos my memory is a bit fucked Jimmy: after I lifted that bottle, I dunno, why? Jimmy: Does it matter? Janis: probably not, no Janis: just Janis: idk Jimmy: Just? Janis: It ain't my usual thing Janis: losing massive chunks of time like that Jimmy: doing shots ain't my usual thing, is it yours? Janis: no Jimmy: none tonight then Janis: not for you, anyway Janis: I don't need to work 💰💸🍀 Jimmy: you ain't doing 'em without me, you dickhead Janis: 😂 Janis: fine Janis: be doubly entertaining then Jimmy: 1. full time job holding all that hair back tah and I'm on the clock enough Jimmy: 2. piss off I'm the CG's top employee so goes without saying life and soul of this party Janis: 1. I could put it up, IF I was going to vom but that's so unlikely it's almost an impossibility so Janis: 2. I don't work there so your shop bants will have no effect on me and I'm the one you're trying to please here Jimmy: 1. your kink is so blatant shut up oh my god Jimmy: 2. you'll be pleased by all the drinks I just bought #easy Janis: 1. 😑 Janis: 2. 😑 Janis: do you wanna get me drunk or nah, make up your mind, lad Jimmy: Baby, don't be expressionless, it's 💔 Janis: [pulls stupid face to send him] Janis: ❤🔫 Jimmy: my heart has grown back! and loads of sizes 😍 Janis: #humblebrag Jimmy: send that tweet Janis: ❤ or 🍆 lads, you decide Janis: I'll start a poll Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Why did you fuck off last night, is that in the black hole or what? Janis: I can't remember exactly Janis: just weird fragments that don't quite fit together like I've got it secondhand or something Jimmy: go on Janis: it don't make any sense Janis: but like you said, doubt it matters Jimmy: probably not Janis: I am p sure it weren't 'cos we woke any of your fam up or something so Janis: so don't need to worry Jimmy: that was before and only our kid Jimmy: he always wakes up when I come back Jimmy: if he was even asleep Janis: yeah, I remember that too Janis: did you get him to sleep in the end Jimmy: 🤔🤔 Janis: what? Jimmy: did I get water? If he let me do that I must've Janis: Yeah Janis: 'cos you scared the shit out of me Jimmy: Did I? 😂 Janis: I thought that was earlier but no, yeah Janis: definitely on the sofa Janis: softer than the park Jimmy: You scared me earlier Jimmy: that's why Janis: did I? Jimmy: I was walking and you showed up like 👻🔪🔪 Janis: how mean Janis: sounds legit, I believe you Jimmy: well creepy that was Jimmy: tah Janis: you're the creeper Jimmy: leave that right out Janis: didn't say I hated it Jimmy: didn't say you liked it Janis: what's it to you Jimmy: nowt Janis: 😏 Janis: there we go then Jimmy: what kind of picture do you need? Janis: just one to prove we're somewhere doing something Janis: I was purposely vague about our plans in case you were already out or something Jimmy: 👌 Janis: no way I was sleeping in a room with Mia in Janis: actually end up 👻 Jimmy: you can stay at mine if you want, she'll probably use your pillow for black magic Jimmy: or spooning Jimmy: bit rude of us not to lend her a sharpie so she could draw your face on Jimmy: turn the bus around like Janis: 😂 Janis: don't, it's too real and it makes me feel uncomfortable Janis: defs looking for hair and fingernails as we speak Jimmy: How haven't I drawn you and sold it to her for 💰💰💰💰 Jimmy: going soft me Janis: always on the clock, babe Janis: it'll kill your creativity/soul Janis: 💁 Jimmy: I bet you real cash she'd eat it 🐍 Jimmy: what are the calories of paper and pencil? Janis: anything over negative is too high, but she'd get the pleasure of puking me up that way so Janis: it's a must Jimmy: can't compete with such romance, fuck me 💕 Janis: well she gets to fuck everyone so only fair Jimmy: not me Jimmy: or you Janis: ❄❄ Jimmy: your sister 100% Janis: 🤢 Janis: disgusting Jimmy: trying to get you to vom 'cause you're so into it and I'm that kind of boyfriend 🤞 Janis: 😍😍😍 Janis: easier ways, I'm sure Janis: but know you're an 🎨 Jimmy: alright, challenge accepted Jimmy: 💘 Janis: no shots, remember Jimmy: nowts a shot unless it's in a shot glass Janis: yeah, that's how that works Janis: 😏 Jimmy: means I have everything to play with and more space to mix it Janis: oh god Jimmy: bigger measures for you to down too Janis: I'm babysitting you, remember Jimmy: You just might die trying though, Juliet Janis: behave Jimmy: or what? Janis: find out Jimmy: alright Janis: alright Jimmy: is your bus anywhere near yet, it's fucking miserable out here Janis: you don't wanna wait inside Jimmy: weren't given the nod for that one Jimmy: Ian threw his weight about and me out Jimmy: earnt himself some 😍😍😍 Janis: Gross Janis: wtf Jimmy: 🎻 and 🤢 Janis: well, we ain't that far Janis: you should get a head start on the drinks if you ain't Jimmy: 👍 Janis: is he gonna let you back in later Janis: you could come back to mine but you would have to pretend to have crazy hot sex with me if the coven is still lurking so Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Cass'll post a key through Janis: 👍 Janis: gotta stick together vs the 'rents Jimmy: we can't be as late back though Janis: yeah Janis: whenever's fine Jimmy: you're easy, I get it Janis: shut up 😏 Janis: the favour is the alibi, anything else is just extra Jimmy: most of my wage is tips, I'm gonna keep you out all night now Jimmy: habit Janis: so above and beyond, babe 💕 Jimmy: 💰🐮💕 Jimmy: can you remember what we drew? should go check out the finished masterpiece #🎨 Jimmy: got a mental image of you sucking on the end of my sharpie there but otherwise nowt much Janis: Filth Janis: 😂 Janis: when we find out it's as intelligible as smeared shit on the walls, like but seemed like a masterpiece at the time Jimmy: when you reckon its 🥇 but it ain't even 🥉 Jimmy: #tragic Janis: hopefully we didn't sign it 😱 Jimmy: shit I probably did do! Jimmy: cut my hand off instead of my ear so I can't be that dickhead Jimmy: still post it to you though 💌 Janis: this country ain't quite THAT religious Janis: but romantic Janis: I'll keep it in a jar Jimmy: I won't tell you I'm ambidextrous and it's another scam, that'll take the shine right off the gesture Jimmy: and that's witchcraft in the north if it ain't here Jimmy: gotta take the secret to my grave naturally Janis: you are SUCH a show-off Janis: but I'm left-handed so we can get burnt together Jimmy: don't be a HATER when I'm trusting you with my secrets Jimmy: obvs you are #evil twin Jimmy: so romantic though #datenight 🔥💕 Janis: it's just REALLY obvious you want me to ask what them hands do Jimmy: if you need to ask I'm not fake dating you hard enough Jimmy: the answer is obviously 🚬 and ✎ Janis: yeah yeah, I'll study when I need to Janis: you're easy too Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I'm well hard 💪 Janis: 😏 Janis: mhmm Janis: if anyone asks Jimmy: you ran away from them questions mate Jimmy: 💀👑 will be in my DMs asking herself Janis: well excuse me for not sticking around to stroke your ego and quench their thirst Janis: not interested in either soz Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: what better review than I gotta run to you soon as your mentioned? Janis: think on, boy Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: I never said you were bad at this Janis: not directly anyway Janis: you can say I'm good, go on Jimmy: You're SO good baby 💕😍💘 Janis: 😂 Janis: 😩💦 Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: so in the party mood now Janis: and not a moment too soon, just pulling up, like Jimmy: [waves cos let's say he went there cos sick of sitting on his doorstep] Janis: [snaps a pic 'cos #goals and gets off the bus like 😏 'don't have to convince the driver how in love we are do we, 'cos I can run at you if you're feeling it?'] Jimmy: [throws a jacket at her cos always and a distraction from how much he'd love that] Janis: [when you appraise it like you've been really fashion and you're not sure but obvs you put it on with a grin and a 'tah'] Jimmy: [🙄 but a playful one so also 😏] Janis: ['can you lead the way this time or am I your personal satnav again?] Jimmy: [playfully dragging her off by the arm cos actually does know where he's going but gotta take her to the pub or something first anyway cos you can't show up this early] Janis: [lowkey happy nerds always] Jimmy: [throws her snacks he bought for her when he bought the drinks cos she didn't stay for much pizza and he don't know if she got to eat at hers before she ran away #considerate] Janis: ['#feeder' but nudges him like thanks and noms] Jimmy: [nudges her back and gives her his phone so she can reply to Mia again cos fave] Janis: [when you 🙄 but not playfully at her lack of shame lmao] Jimmy: [give it up gurl Grace fancied him anyways so #girlcode] Janis: [always hitting her with those exclusive selfies lol] Jimmy: [love that, going harder than you need to always] Janis: [shudders 'if you ever go there, actually got no respect for you' Jimmy: ['if I ever go there, kill me. Tah. Don't wanna live without my dick when it shrivels and falls off'] Janis: [lols and does a 💔 with her hands like poor baby 'I'll put you out of your misery, mate; what are friends for, after-all'] Jimmy: [nods his thanks and offers her a 🚬] Janis: [shakes her head but takes it okay gurl] Jimmy: [lights it for her as per before his own even cos pecking order] Janis: [tips her imaginary hat to him] Jimmy: [walking and smoking as standard] Janis: ['So, on a scale of manager to Pete, where does this one fall? Need to know how small to make my talk, like'] Jimmy: ['if manager Dave is 0, this lad is like a 2' does the 💔 with his hands like unlucky] Janis: [makes ott disappointed face 'damn, weather and sports it is, okay'] Jimmy: [makes an OTT pouty face to hide the fact he's actually jealous because in my head this lad is 'cute' but in like a really basic way haha] Janis: [pinches his cheeks like a grandmother] Jimmy: [playfight moment] Janis: [always a moment, don't mind them] Jimmy: [let her win though cos we know its real] Janis: [irl 💪] Jimmy: [dramatic bow down cos he's a nerd] Janis: ['you're welcome' 😏] Jimmy: [gives her a bottle of whatever like shhh] Janis: ['Slainte' and knocking it back 'cos start as you mean to go on] Jimmy: [giving her like a steady on kinda look but is 😏 for #bants not concern vibe cos can't say anything actually cos he's as bad we know] Janis: ['don't worry, I'll keep it from you' and not passing it and another swig with a grin 'cos best babysitter ever] Jimmy: [takes it cos gotta prove you're still 💪 and takes a swig with a cheeky wink and it's hotter than it needs to be thank you boy] Janis: [when you can't even be mad but you have a go at pretending still 'cos otherwise] Jimmy: [pass it back like love me again] Janis: [just having a time, don't mind them] Jimmy: [realistically how far can this pub be so enjoy yourselves in these streets while you can lads] Janis: [also where you putting these bottles lads] Jimmy: [let's hope he has some kind of bag with him for the unopened ones at least cos can't show up empty handed] Janis: [my boo is horrified lmao] Jimmy: [he had snacks too so he weren't carrying all that #justsayin] Janis: [you silly, also get a round in girl] Jimmy: [when this bit will probs be better than the party lbr] Janis: [ahh shit house parties, perfect bonding ground 😈] Jimmy: [we know you can make it look fun for the socials kids] Janis: [when she defs would've got him something and coke so she could pretend it was just coke for a hot sec lmao] Jimmy: [such a cute nerd move he'd have to lol] Janis: [when he's shamelessly got a cute laugh bye] Jimmy: [when you make her play darts or pool or whatever cos you lost the playfight and you wanna win] Janis: [always down for a competition] Jimmy: [but she should win again so he's a sulky bitch] Janis: come on, be my mate Janis: [kicking, but gently lol, under the table] Jimmy: [is 😒 and ignoring like hmmm just gonna drank and play with this beermat] Janis: [kicks a bit harder like oi] Janis: you're rude Jimmy: [gives her a look like what?] Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: 😑 Janis: another one or Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: missed the please Janis: work on the thank you for when I'm back 👍 Janis: [goes] Jimmy: soz mum Janis: don't make it weird Jimmy: like she were in the room there then Jimmy: it was weird Janis: 😒 Janis: shut up Jimmy: it was rude a bit ago when I tried that Jimmy: make your mind up Janis: don't have to Janis: if I'm a mum I'm always right 'cos I say so Jimmy: if you're impersonating mine you ain't Janis: I'm not going method Janis: and if that's a #kinkunlocked I gotta go like Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you're making it weirder than I went for Janis: then shh Jimmy: I get it, telling me what to do is one of yours Jimmy: I wouldn't have reckoned on you as that predictable but alright Janis: piss off Janis: I don't wanna be your mommy Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [come back with that drink huffily and just be on your phone] Jimmy: [down it cos that's the mood] Janis: [awks again] Jimmy: [gdi Jimothy you're always making the vibe off] Jimmy: [just on socials putting in that werk like you're love's young dream for her though cos as close to a sorry as we're getting rn is when its working and the fans are loving your efforts so bae's getting all the notifications] Janis: nice work Jimmy: [shrugs and goes to get more drinks like here's a real peace offering] Janis: [nods head like tah and does small smile but genuine] Jimmy: [when you can't help smiling back cos she's so cute bye] Janis: [just showing him all the highkey responses and loling] Jimmy: [take a moment to bond over how ridiculous everyone is like] Janis: [just like why do they care so much] Jimmy: [we know its cos you two walking around looking like models] Janis: [#hotcouplealert] Jimmy: [gotta do the jj love heart doodle everywhere they go soz to the tabletop but not] Janis: [snap that honey] Jimmy: [also take a moment to text Cass and make sure she's alright boy] Jimmy: [okay but Cass sending him a pic he drew of jj on the swing together cos she's like why are you gross but you upload that art to your insta because #fans] Jimmy: {Bobby drew it not Jimmy lol] Janis: ['He's so cute'] Jimmy: ['And talented. Made you look cute an' all' boy stop playing you think she's hot af] Janis: [makes 'oh please' noise, 'gives you a run for your money, deffo'] Jimmy: [kicks her like she did to him earlier but is 😏 not 😒] Janis: [squeezes his arm in a pisstakey supportive way like 'it'll be okay, babe'] Jimmy: [flicks some drink at her face like you did to me the other day] Janis: ['you want this whole drink on your head or what? but not actually mad 'cos always here for the flirty bants over awks any day] Jimmy: ['or what' because always gonna say that, giving her such a LOOK excuse you Jimothy you're too sober for this] Janis: [just a LOOK back] Jimmy: [when he just leans across the table and it's such a kiss moment but instead he wipes her face for her with the sleeve of whatever hoodie he has on but that's even more intimate so how dare you tbh] Janis: [when you're so 😳 you're like gotta go loo bye] Jimmy: [just shamelessly watch her go we all know it] Jimmy: get on a move on, we're going after Janis: alright, piss police Janis: I'm coming Jimmy: not a kink before you say it tah Janis: yeah, how defensive you were dead sold that one, mate 👍 Jimmy: 🖕 Jimmy: it's a bit of a fucking walk and you're the only one getting a boner for exercise round here, Julie Janis: I already knew you couldn't keep up, babe Janis: didn't need to admit it Janis: I'll go slow for you 💕 Janis: [comes out like ready] Jimmy: stay here and take it slow with the barman if you're gonna be a dickhead Jimmy: [is walking ahead like excuse you I'm so 💪] Janis: [hangs back like she's pondering but then shrugs and follows being loud like 'He's not my type so shoot your shot if you're feeling it'] Jimmy: [mimes a 🎻] Janis: ['Don't be sad, with no competition from me, you stand a chance now' encouraging 👍 up] Jimmy: [ignoring cos so mature] Janis: [walking annoyingly close to him like speeding up when he does and slowing down when he do like you can't ignore me boy] Jimmy: [🚬 without offering her one like yeah I can] Janis: [just a look and noise like wow, it be like that, yeah?] Jimmy: [does the dramatic look around like oh did I hear something cos nerd] Janis: ['I friggin' hate you, you know'] Jimmy: [gives her a bemused look cos no you don't] Janis: [snatches that 🚬 so rudely] Jimmy: [lights another for himself with an OTT sigh] Janis: ['what you being a dickhead for?'] Jimmy: ['what are you always trying to pimp me out for?'] Janis: ['you what?'] Jimmy: [I said, what are you always trying to pimp me out to the locals for? If I was #dtf I wouldn't be fake dating you, would I?'] Janis: ['Erm, obviously, it was a joke; if you needed or wanted a wingman, I ain't interested, trust'] Jimmy: ['so hilarious you'] Janis: ['Jesus, sorry, forget I said anything'] Jimmy: [shugs like consider my memory erased] Janis: [when you start walking ahead but only a bit 'cos you don't know where you're going so can't fully walk off, like] Jimmy: [when you obvs catch her up and are walking in step like you can't ignore me either this goes both ways] Janis: [the most exasperated look] Jimmy: ['what?' cos I must] Janis: ['Don't even'] Jimmy: [don't even what?' he's so annoying omg] Janis: ['Stop it, I swear to GOD'] Jimmy: [gives her a look that's stop what? cos not gonna say it but such a twat still] Janis: ['fuck this' under her breath and actual walking off] Jimmy: [not gonna let her so following 'what was it you said? be my mate, come on'] Janis: ['you don't wanna be mates' and looking ahead keeping walking] Jimmy: ['for someone who don't wanna be my mum you're about as determined to fuck off'] Janis: [just turning around like what but not actually saying it] Jimmy: ['you don't wanna go home and neither do I, so let's just go to the party, yeah?'] Janis: [shrugs 'whatever'] Jimmy: [drags her back in the right direction but really gently] Janis: ['this don't mean we're friends'] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna be friends with you' cos ain't that the truth] Janis: [just trying not to look so hurt] Jimmy: ['And I am a dickhead, there's your answer for why I was being one'] Janis: ['I don't care'] Jimmy: ['why'd you ask then?'] Janis: ['Didn't say I didn't at the time, it's irrelevant now'] Jimmy: [hits her with a shrug of his own] Janis: [nods like exactly] Jimmy: [gives her a look like wtf is that meant to mean as if he don't know] Janis: ['how much further?] Jimmy: [tells her, let's pretend not that far but far enough they gotta walk awkwardly for a bit longer] Janis: [picks up pace] Jimmy: [does a bit but not that much cos unfit af] Janis: ['gimme the bag'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like um no] Janis: [gives him a ffs look back 'give it here or hurry up, like'] Jimmy: [goes slower cos that bitch aka me] Janis: ['I might not wanna go home but I can still think of better things to do, seriously'] Jimmy: ['Go and do 'em then'] Janis: ['I tried to but you stopped me and I gave you a second chance for some fucking reason but fuck this now'] Jimmy: ['We're pissing distance from this lad's back garden, stop being a knobhead'] Janis: ['You ain't thinking this through, why the hell would we wanna be somewhere we've gotta fake all of this a moment longer?'] Jimmy: ['why do we have to fake owt? You wanted one pic, we've uploaded shitloads'] Janis: ['Um, because it'll look fucking weird if we ain't couply when everyone at this party knows we're meant to be'] Jimmy: ['Mia treats 'em like staff they ain't gonna gossip with her like besties'] Janis: ['You go in and do what you like then, I've got no reason to be here'] Jimmy: ['there's reasons'] Janis: ['yeah' purposefully sounding ambiguous to as if that was a question or nah] Jimmy: ['Are you gonna make me say 'em or what?'] Janis: [when you're just like 'ha' 'cos clearly not happening and just start walking with again like alright] Jimmy: [give her an I hate you look that so isn't] Janis: ['I got it, yeah, now can you fucking light up, I need to smoke before going in there'] Jimmy: [does because it's his job 5ever] Janis: [just smoking your feelings lol] Jimmy: [#mood] Janis: ['why don't you wanna be my friend?'] Jimmy: ['why do you wanna be my friend?'] Janis: ['why are you incapable of answering a question straight?'] Jimmy: ['for someone who don't care why do you care so fucking much?'] Janis: ['if I ask a question, I want an answer, simple'] Jimmy: ['what if it's not?' fucked yourself then, ain't you, mate'] Janis: ['that ain't the point, I'm asking what you think, what you know, whatever the fuck the context is, I don't ask you so you can turn it around on me like I don't know all that about me already'] Jimmy: ['the point is, rich girl, this ain't your world, your parents just paid for a bigger house on a nicer bit of it, and I don't properly work for you sweetheart, so I can do owt I like. Better yet speech is free and I can say whatever the fuck I wanna an' all.'] Janis: ['yeah? and what are you saying then, Jimmy? fuck all. so if you'll excuse me-' and bowling inside like you know this lad personally but you know he ain't gonna mind] Jimmy: [staying outside as if that makes a bit of difference or any real deliberate point other than you can't be around the bae] Jimmy: Alright, what I'm saying is I don't wanna do this anymore Jimmy: deal's off Janis: Alright Janis: fine Janis: thanks for telling me Jimmy: 👍 Janis: any reason why beyond the obvious or Jimmy: why are the reasons any of your business? Jimmy: in the fine print was it, that Janis: because I was in it too and I'd tell you if I just switched out of nowhere with no warning Jimmy: figure it out Janis: 👍 Jimmy: I just want out, we can do it however you like Jimmy: take the night and sort it Janis: wow generous Jimmy: that's me Janis: I don't need time, it's easy Janis: I'll get with this lad, you can 'find' out Jimmy: I'm not making you look bad that's not part of it Janis: How do you reckon on making me look good Jimmy: He's a fucking 2, we can do more than that for you, like Janis: You wanna vet the lad I fake cheat with Janis: that's not mental at all Jimmy: 'cause all of this has been dead sane Janis: yeah, and you want out so you can quit acting like you remotely give a shit Jimmy: calm it down Jimmy: it don't look great for me if you fake fuck my ugly co-workers Janis: welll I DON'T care Janis: you said I can do it however I like Jimmy: I reckoned on you being smart when I said that is why Janis: nah you reckoned on me caring to make you look good too, why should I Jimmy: it was the deal if nowt else Janis: the deal is off, by your request Jimmy: you're such a massive dickhead Janis: you Jimmy: you don't get it Janis: what don't I get Jimmy: what do you get? Janis: piss off if you're starting that again Janis: came in here to get away from that Jimmy: you can't answer it 'cause the answer is nowt Jimmy: but you think we can be mates Janis: and you do? alright Janis: you don't answer anything so glass houses Janis: pot kettle, whatever else Jimmy: 👌 Janis: bye Jimmy: what are you gonna do? Janis: wanna be more specific Jimmy: Do I need to? Janis: yep Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: Are you gonna drag that twat into it or what? Janis: not that I owe you shit Janis: but I'll pick someone you don't work with Jimmy: or think of a better idea Janis: it's a great idea Jimmy: How? Janis: you get the sympathy vote and to be mr good guy and I get to show I don't give a shit so they can miss me with the told you it wouldn't lasts and whatever else they're dying to Janis: win win Jimmy: if I wanted a popularity 🏆 instead of being left alone Janis: your personality will put 'em off give it 5 minutes Jimmy: piss off Janis: you know I'm right Jimmy: I know you're fuming Janis: about what, exactly Janis: being stupid enough to ever agree to this, yeah, I am actually Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: whatever Jimmy: [i'm using the weather and saying it's just started to rain heavy so he has to come inside or else he never will] Janis: [chatting to some rando and trying not to look his way even though of course you notice] Jimmy: [when you go up to her to give her a drink cos you're jealous af and you want said random to fuck off] Janis: [when you look at it like you've never seen a drink before in your life 'you trying to poison me now?' whoever this lad is should run 'cos no need to be involved in this drama] Jimmy: [lowkey force her to take it so rude 'drown your sorrows, girl'] Janis: [that's deffo getting thrown at you like I'm sorry boy] Jimmy: ['when you have to go find a towel now if you didn't before RIP to the bathroom with you] Janis: [when you have to either go outside or find somewhere in this gaff to be alone 'cos people love drama and would be being so annoying] Jimmy: [100% gonna look for her when he's done though cos king of the mixed message if she's outside I'm gonna lol cos you're getting wet again boy] Janis: [probably 'cos realistically how big is this house that there's a room no other fucker is in lmao] Jimmy: [unlucky dickhead] Janis: [wherever the nearest available shelter is, whether that's a tree or a bus stop, whatever] Jimmy: [either way #mood and he's finding her there, popping up v unwanted] Janis: [when you see him coming and it's like literally wtf boy 'I swear down, Jimmy, do not'] Jimmy: [when you just kiss her as hard as you fucking can because this is over and wtf do you have to lose and you're thinking you'll just walk away after okay boy well done truly you messy slag] Janis: [when you go for it even though you reckon you definitely shouldn't now because you feel something so got to chase it 'til you can't no more] Jimmy: [the most ridiculously intense make out of all time casually happening until he breaks it off cos when there's too much drama at school you gotta walk awaaaaaaaaaaay] Janis: Pussy Jimmy: 💀💀💔💀💔 Jimmy: brutal Janis: fuck you Jimmy: you wanted an answer so bad, there it is Jimmy: take it Janis: no, as per with you it was just more questions Jimmy: might've been able to find some answers in the bottom of that bottle you chucked at me Jimmy: so hasty you Janis: should've kept it then Janis: you need it more than me Jimmy: I've got others Janis: I'm so pleased for you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Stop talking to me Jimmy: stop talking to me Janis: gladly Jimmy: 👍

Jay’s Season 14 Episode Chat

Episode 5

Enjoy my random thoughts!

~ Excuse me, what is this girl doing alone?  I love her but WHY IS THERE NO ADULT WITH HER SHE’S SMALL AND FRAGILE

~  Oooooooklahoma, where this girl just runs off on her ooooown

~  I love a nice field trip to a graveyard, someone is coming for Ms. Frizzle’s career 

~ Vlogging hunters, I LOVE THIS.  Also me if I was a hunter 😂

~ I think I’m in love with Maggie.  Can we get some nice JayxMaggie fics please? 😂

~ MAGGIE MY WIFE NOOOO!  Excuse me, whoever just dared to put their hands on her, DON’T HURT HER OR I SWEAR-

~ TEACHER SAM UM YES PLEASE

~ Fuuuuuuuuck he looks good

~ Sam: “Let’s get to work.”  Me: *breaks out into song* “LET’S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS-”

~ SAM’S LITTLE CUP I’M CRYING 😂 Is it just him being a giant of a human or is that cup tiny I NEED ANSWERS

~ Sam with a whistle GIMME

~ Sam creating hunter check-ins is giving me LIFE.  HE’S. A. SMART. BEAN.

~ Hey Dean sass, ima need you to tone yourself down

~ CAS AND JACK ARE ON A NICE FATHER/SON HUNTING TRIP TOGETHER THIS IS WHAT THE SHOW NEEDS AND I SUPPORT IT 100%

~ Sam tippity tappin’ away (have I mentioned I love this man?)

~ Dean’s reaction to this guy in the cemetery is a mood

~ I loooove this guy meeting them at the house 😂

~ OK BOBBY AND MARY I SEE YOU LOOKIN’ LIKE MICHAEL AND CAS, WHAT CHA TRYING TO SAY, HUH?  WRITERS, ANYONE?  ANSWERS?

~ BOBBY SASS YES WE NEED THIS

~ Bobby said idjits I REPEAT BOBBY SAID IDJITS

~ Ok but Maggie shouldn’t have been out there alone in the first place, just saying

~ Jared has forever made “Milk Run” funny (he said stuff at a con) and I can’t stop giggling at Bobby’s line

~ Woah woah, Bobby, I’m gonna need you to stop yelling at my Sammy or I will somehow throw you back into the AU myself

~ Bobby: “She wasn’t ready!”  My mind:

~ “A real leader would’ve seen that a mile away.” THE FUCK BOBBY??  HOW DARE YOU?  SAM IS A REAL LEADER, HE’S DOING HIS BEST, AND HE’S DOING AN AMAZING JOB.  YES OF COURSE MAGGIE SHOULD’VE NEVER BEEN ON HER OWN, BUT DON’T BLAME SAM FOR HER GETTING TAKEN BY THE MONSTER.  AND DON’T SAY HE ISN’T A REAL LEADER.  (I actually got so mad at this part 😂 no one says stuff like that to my boy and gets away with it)

~ YES MARY, THANK YOU!!  LISTEN TO MAMA WINCHESTER!

~ No Sammy, Bobby isn’t right, this isn’t your fault, DON’T PUT YOURSELF DOWN

~ I mean, I agree Mary, BUT, he was honestly born to be hooked on demon blood and use his powers (you know, THE ONES THE SHOW JUST CASUALLY FORGETS) for not so great things BUT OK 😂

~ Welcome to the show/family, no one wants to talk about anything

~ OH HI JOHN NICE FOR THEM TO MENTION YOU 😂 (i still don’t like you a ton but hello)

~ MARY NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR YOU TO “PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE”, FOCUS ON MICHAEL AND THE OTHER EVILS OF THE WORLD BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT

~ I LOVE MARY AND SAM BONDING MOMENTS, CAN WE HAVE MORE IN FUTURE EPISODES PLEASE AND THANK YOU

~ “You think I was too hard on your brother back there.”  Me: 

~ I need a scene where Dean goes off on Bobby for yelling at his baby brother, ANYONE ELSE WITH ME?

~ Dean, so help me, if you insult the Sammy beard ONE MORE TIME

~ Aw Sam respecting his mother and what she wants LOOK AT HIM BEING AN ADORABLE BABY

~ Creepy abandoned shed, great

~ BOBBY WTF DON’T RUN OFF ON YOUR OWN HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING??

~ I love when monsters turn into chalk dust

~ “What are you doing in my house?” WHY WASN’T THAT THE FIRST QUESTION OUT OF YOUR MOUTH?

~ How tf did you get cleaned up so quickly and easily, Dean 😂

~ Oh sweetie, anything (besides Destiel apparently *COUGH*) is possible in this universe

~ “I’m not really up for a heart-to-heart.” It’s ok, Dean never is either 

~ This girl 😂 “I don’t want to talk about what’s going on.....but here’s the entire story-”

~ I’M SO PROUD OF DEAN BEING A GREAT LISTENER AND GIVING ADVICE

~ Dean: *gives this speech about letting the past go and stuff*  Girl: “Is that what you do?”  Me: “NO HE BOTTLES UP HIS FEELINGS AND REFUSES TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING GOING ON-”

~ Ok wait I’m sorry, was Sam just waiting for them to finish talking so he could walk down the hall? 😂 What took him so long?

~ What kind of flashlight has an on/off switch on the bottom?

~ Yay, my husband found my wife 😂

~ SAM YOU GOT THE CHALK DUST TOO

~ Aw no Maggie this isn’t your fault at all, don’t blame yourself

~ WHAT ARE YOU DOING BOBBY

~ I love when AU!Bobby has a kid

~ Oh that’s a lil bit of a stab

~ MARY TO THE RESCUE

~ FFS, WHY DOES NO ONE BACK UP WHEN SOMEONE IS WALKING TOWARDS THEM?  IF THEY DID, THEY WOULDN’T GET HIT.  THESE CHARACTERS HAVE LEARNED NOTHING 😂

~ Close your everything, he’s gonna turn into cha- and there he goes

~ Dean, you motherfucker, you could’ve used any line to get her out of the room, AND YOU CHOSE “Could you go make me a sandwich?” YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE MOST SEXIST LINES OUT THERE 😂 Writers, wtf??

~ YES QUEEN, GET THAT SASS

~ Wait a second, if the djinn is taking blood from this guy, wouldn’t people notice the bags filling up instead of going down??  AM I THE ONLY ONE THINKING ABOUT THIS? 😂

~ Oh Michael, you little fu-

~ Aww Maggie *hugs*

~ WTF HAPPENED WITH THE DJINN, WHY DID HE FREAK OUT WHEN HE WAS DOING HIS THING TO DEAN, WHY DID DEAN GET A BURST OF ENERGY AND BEAT THIS GUY SUDDENLY?  I’M TELLING YOU, MICHAEL ISN’T GONE

~ Ok, so we know now that Michael set up traps for everyone.  AWESOME

~ AW THEY’RE ALL SO HAPPY TO SEE MAGGIE, I’M SCREAMING, I LOVE THIS

~ YES DEAN GIVE YOUR BROTHER THE PRAISE HE DESERVES

~ I’m still mad at Bobby for yelling at Sam, but I want to hug him right now.  I feel so bad for him

~ SHE DID LEARN FROM THE BEST, YES

~ I almost had a heart attack at “Boys, we need to talk.” I THOUGHT THERE WAS GONNA BE A FULL ON RELATIONSHIP CONFESSION

~ DONNA YAY HI MOM, also of course she has a garden gnome 😂 I love her so much

~ THANK YOU FOR TALKING WITH SAM, BOBBY

~ Sam’s lil smile *collapses*

~ MARY STEPPING BACK INTO THAT MOM ROLE IS SO NICE AND I APPRECIATE TF OUT OF THIS

~ GARTH I MISS YOU MY SWEET BOY

~ Lol yes buddy system, I support this 😂

~ WHO WAS SAM CALLING

~”Traps for hunters.  Friggin’ awesome.” My thoughts exactly

~ “From what I- from what we- ....from what he did.” THAT LINE RIGHT THERE IS SO IMPORTANT!  Dean is finally accepting that what Michael (not Dean, not Michael AND Dean, but just Michael) did wasn’t him and he isn’t to blame at all.  This was a needed line, and I appreciate the writers for putting that in.  It means SO MUCH

~ Dean can’t get a fuckin’ break, poor baby.  CAN WE GIVE DEAN A WELL DESERVED BREAK?

~ Yeah, let’s beat this son of a bitch (even though I actually really like Michael 😂)

Alright, well, that’s the episode chat!  I really liked this episode a ton.  I miss Cas and Jack, but they’re off together, so that’s nice.  WE GET CHARLIE NEXT EPISODE, WHICH I’M SO EXCITED FOR!  I’ve missed my AU wife.  I hope we get Rowena back soon.  Ketch too (I guess 😂)

Chapter Fourteen - The Beautiful Mess

sorry we didn’t post this last night, but here we are finally! @papa-chibs

thankyou so much for all the messages and likes and reblogs we’re getting! we are so happy you’re enjoying it and look forward to future chapters! we love you <3

hit us up with messages if you want chappy 15! also let us know if you’re wanting to be added to our tagging list :)

tagging list: @isayweallgetdrunk @hissom1933 @guiltyissues @cantmakeupmymindnow 

Xoxo

Babydoll and Lassie.

--

Three days had passed since Chibs was reuinited with his family and things were changing pretty quickly. The Scottish male had gotten back together with his estranged wife Fiona and was giving their marriage another go since there was nothing standing in the way anymore. Fiona and Kerrianne were crashing at Chibs' house as they planned on staying in Charming for a couple weeks or so. Chibs felt awful and guilty for breaking off his 'thing' with Rissa and instantly getting into a relationship with his wife. He knew she deserved so much better than that, than him... Maybe it was for the best?

Roxxie's love life had also taken a new turn recently. After having sex with Tig the other night, the pair of them could hardly keep their hands off of each other! But they made sure to do it discreetly since it was only just sex and it wasn't like they were in a relationship. Roxxie was annoyed at herself for being so interested in the crazy and sleazy biker. But man, he knew how to please her. Besides, they were only having some fun. It wasn't a big deal... When Roxxie and Tig were around people, they acted their normal argumentative and sarcastic selves, but when they were alone... Well they acted the same but with far much more sex and passion.

While her friend and ex lover's lives became fun and exciting, Rissa life was a big stupid mess. Fiona and Kerrianne had now been in Charming for a few days and everyone, except Rissa and Roxxie, were quite happy about it. Seeing Chibs happy was great... But seeing him with another woman hurt her heart every single time. Plus, Fiona was a total bitch and made it crystal clear that she didn't like Rissa. Everyone knew it. So, Rissa had decided that acting like Chibs and his family didn't exist was the best plan, that way she wouldn't cause trouble between the insane Irish women and the sweet Scotsman. The girl put on a brave face and acted like she was fine, but what she didn't realise was how much of a bad job she was doing. She didn't cry or break down like everyone assumed she would. Instead, she got blackout drunk every night, wore clothes she'd never usually wore and right now she was inside a small and surprisingly clean tattoo studio. The tattoo studio was totally not what she imagined one would be. Growing up with a snobby and judgy mother made her believe tattoos were gross and insanitary. But this plan was squeaky clean and aesthetically pleasing. "Tattoo virgin huh?" The man, who was covered head to toe in tattoos asked her with a chuckle. "Yep." Rissa replied, emphasising the 'p'. It didn't take her long to decide what she was having and where she'd get it and before she could talk herself out of it, she got prepped and ready to be inked. Rissa had picked a quote that said; "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." It's a statement to live your life without fear of judgement because your actions won't always make sense to people who don't understand the circumstances. And right now, that quote seemed very fitting. She knew that no one at the Clubhouse understood why she was drinking so much or acting different. But if she didn't put on the brave, party girl act, she'd never leave the dorm and she'd sleep as much as she could just so she didn't have to deal with her thoughts.

The man had been working on her piece for a few hours now and was just adding the finishing touches to her skin. Rissa bit down on her lip as the tattoo guy hit a painful spot on her ribcage, she was so ready for this to be over. It didn't hurt as much as she assumed but it definitely made her wince a couple times. Her prayers were answered when the man placed the tattoo gun down on a little metal table beside him. "All done beautiful." The man said, making Rissa let out a happy sigh. Rissa jumped off the tattoo table and ran over to the mirror, excited to see her first ever tattoo. Her eyes widened and she grinned as she stared at her ink. It was better than she imagined it would be. "Thanks so much, I love it." She said, looking back at the tattoo artist. The man gave her a smile. "Anything else I can do for ya?" He asked as Rissa brought out the money from her bag. "Not right now thanks, but I'm sure I'll be back." -- 2 hours later, Rissa was back at the Clubhouse and slightly drunk, which probably wasn't the best of ideas since she'd just gotten a tattoo. But try telling that to the stubborn girl and you'll get a bloody nose. People had wondered where Rissa spent her morning, especially Roxxie. She was curious as hell and a little worried since Rissa's change in behaviour was a bit all over the place at the moment. "Come on, tell me?" Roxxie whined as she poured Rissa another drink. She was stood behind the bar serving a couple of regulars. The brunette looked around the somewhat busy room. Happy and Tig were playing pool, Bobby was sat on a couch daydreaming, Jax was sat at the other end of the bar and Kozik was sat beside her. Luckily Chibs wasn't there, he was probably spending time with his witch of a wife. Rissa turned back to her friend and gave her a grin. "Right okay, i was gonna wait to tell you but.... I was at a tattoo parlor!" Rissa said with excitment in her voice. "Fuck off, no way!" Roxxie exclaimed making everyone jump. "You always said you'd never get a tattoo." She furrowed her brows, slightly suspiscious. "You have to show us? Where is it? Is it in a private place?" The older blond male said, butting into the girls conversation and winking at Rissa. Rissa smirked. "I just wake up and had the idea to get a tattoo so... That's what I did." The brunette said right before necking back the rest of her drink. "Who even are you?" Roxxie said as she shook her head, she didn't even recognise the person her bestfriend was becoming and she didn't like it. It scared her a little. "Show usssss" Kozik piped up again. Rissa stood up so everyone could get a good view, she pulled her shirt over her head, leaving her stood there in just her bra and her denim shorts. "Happy now?" She raised a brow. "Did someone say my name?" The serious bald male said from across the room, his eyes landing on the brunette. "Damn.." He muttered, staring at the girl's ink. She looked even hotter than before. Rissa sat back down, not even bothering to put her shirt back on. "Another drink please, Roxxiepops." She pushed her empty glass towards her friend. Roxxie rolled her eyes."Call me that again and i will tattoo 'I'm A Cunt' on your forehead when you're sleeping." The red head replied with a warning in her tone of voice. "You know, I think it's really cool." Kozik said as he eyed up Rissa. "Sexy even." Just as Rissa was about to reply, the Clubhouse door opened and in walked the last person she wanted to see. "Ayyy, are you all partyin' without me?" Chibs said in his thick Scottish accent. He walked over to the bar and took a seat next to Jax, deciding that he'd leave Rissa be. She deserved that at least. But once he noticed she was sat with no shirt on, drinking out of a vodka bottle and getting too close to Kozik, he felt anger and jealously rise up inside him. "I know I definitely want more now." Rissa said to Kozik, ignoring a certain male's presence. Kozik nodded. "They are addictive, once you have one there is no going back." He sipped on his drink before speaking again. "And you'd look hot as fuck with more." He teased. Rissa's lips curled up into a smirk at the blond's comment. "Tell me about yours?" She began tracing the one on his neck with her finger, leaning against his body. "Oh erm..." Kozik paused and glanced over to Chibs, who was watching their every move. "Maybe another time darlin', think we are making someone a lil jel." He whispered in her ear before getting up and walking to the pool table, making sure to give her a little wink before he did. Rissa sighed and for the first time since he had walked in, she looked over to the Scotsman. He was looking straight back at her, his face softening as he did. "Get ya shirt back on before you give one of these old men a heart attack." Roxxie said, pulling Rissa out of her little moment with Chibs and throwing the piece of clothing at her friend.. Chibs and Jax went on to have their own conversation before things got awkward. "One condition... Only if you get your butt round here and get drunk with me." Rissa gave Roxxie a sweet smile which made her laugh. Roxxie grabbed another bottle and took a seat beside her friend. "You don't have to ask me twice." She let out a laugh, maybe she could get used to this side of her friend afterall. -- A couple hours later, the red head was dancing in the middle of a couple of croweaters and bikers. She wasn't even that drunk for once! She had had a few drinks, but she was still in control of herself. Roxxie happily sung and danced along to the music, surrounded by her friends and family. Over the past few days, her mood had completely changed. Rather than constantly feeling on edge, jealous, depressed, she was actually starting to feel somewhat okay... The feeling of hands grabbing hold of her hips broke Roxxie out of her thoughts. She looked over her shoulders and saw the serious-faced bald man. Roxxie giggled and twirled around so she was facing him and then wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Roxxie and Happy danced together without a care in the world. Well that was until Roxxie caught sight of an angry Tig watching her every move. The girl's brows furrowed when noticing Tig at the other end of the room, why did he look like he was about to throw a temper tantrum? She mouthed 'what' to him, which he either didn't know how to lip-read or he just was ignoring her. Roxxie's lips curled up into a smirk when wondering if Tig's mardyness was because he was jealous. Part of her wanted to really get it on with Happy just to see what Tig's reaction would be. But the other part of her wanted to give him a piece of her soul to let him know that she only wants him... But that was only because she enjoyed having sex with him... Right?

"Hap? Can we go somewhere and talk?" Roxxie asked the bald biker, moving out of his grip. "I kinda need to talk to you?" Happy nodded and silently followed the ginger girl outside of the Clubhouse. Once they were away from the noise, Roxxie turned to him and sighed. "Um, i, uh... Fucking you was great!" Roxxie exclaimed, using her hand actions as she spoke. "It really was. You know what you're doin'..." She awkwardly looked down at her feet. "But i think that we need to cool off, y'know? The biker kept his serious facade, listening to the rambling girl. "I don't know why i'm acting as if i'm breaking up with you.." Roxxie let out an awkward laugh. "Basically, i don't want to fuck you anymore. Or kiss you.. Or flirt with you and stuff.. But it was fun being with you!" Roxxie wanted to run away and hide away forever, god this was so awkward and embarrassing. Not just because she was telling Happy she didn't want to have sex with him anymore, but because she was doing it for Tig! "That's cool." Happy said with a nod. "Let me know if you change your mind, yeah?" Before Roxxie could reply, the man turned around and went back inside. Roxxie sighed heavily and sparked up a cigarette. Man, that was cringeworthy. -- Later that night, the clubhouse was pretty much empty now. After hours of drinking, dancing and smoking, most people had left, Roxxie included. She had told Rissa she was getting tired and wanted to stay over at Gemma and Clay's. But unbeknown to her brunette friend, Roxxie had actually gone back to Tig's house. Rissa was still in the main hall drinking herself silly. She had had quite a good night... Kind of? She had hit a new level of drunk and couldn't remember half the things that had happened today.. So she just assumed she had a good night. "Drinking on ya own is no fun, you know." Kozik called to the girl, walking over to the bar and taking a seat beside her. She looked up at the man and sighed. Gosh, he was pretty. "Drinkkkkkkk with me then?" Rissa replied with a smirk. The blonde male sighed and ran a hand through his hair. How could he say no to her? "You are going to get me in trouble, girl." He chuckled, grabbing a bottle of beer. Rissa let out a small giggle, drinking from the half empty bottle of vodka she and Roxxie had started earlier in the day. "Youu ar-re reallyyyyyyyyy hotttt." She slurred, before leaning in to kiss the male. "Woah baby, you are far too drunk for this!" Kozik pulled away quickly, much to Rissa's disappointment. "I'd loved to rip your clothes off and have you all to myself, but my names not Tig and I like it when my girls know what they are doing." He joked. Rissa groaned in annoyance. Didn't he find her attractive enough or something? "C'mon, let's get you to bed." Kozik said, downing the last of his beer before putting his arms around the beautiful mess and helping to her dorm. Kozik pushed open the door and helped Rissa inside, gently placing her onto the bed. Rissa lay back as Kozik took off her shoes. She lifted up her head and looked at the man with a sad expression on her face. "Am I pretty?" A drunk Rissa managed to mumble out. The man gave her a smile and took a seat beside her on the bed. "Sugar, you are fucking stunning." He reached up and tucked her messy hair behind her ear. "Kiss me then?" Rissa's eyes closed as she spoke. She felt so undesirable after everything with Chibs. Kozik sighed, he wanted to kiss her so bad, but he'd much rather wait until she was sober to do it. He placed a small kiss on her forehead before getting up and leaving her to sleep. Once the brunette heard the door close she jumped up from the bed and hurried to find her phone. She wanted to feel loved and wanted! And she knew there was only one man who could do that... When finding her phone, Rissa dialed the number she knew all to well and waited impatiently for the person to answer her call. "Hello?" The gruff male voice on the other end said. "Do you still love me?" Was all Rissa said. "Clarrisa?" The man asked. "Tell me you still love and want me?" Tears began falling down her face when hearing him say her name. She had missed the sound of his voice. "Of course I do baby, I always will." "Then why did you hurt me so much, Elliot?!" As if she sobered up suddenly, she realised what she was doing and quickly hung up the call and threw her phone across the room. She collapsed to the floor, balling her eyes out. What had she done?! How could she have done that?! She could barely breathe, it felt like the world was caving in, it felt like she was dying! She knew that feeling very well.. She was having a panic attack. The door opened and she hoped her Scotsman had come to her rescue, but instead the arms that wrapped around her were unfamiliar, the chest her head was buried in didn't smell like whiskey and cigarette smoke. It wasn't him, It wasn't Chibs. "Hey, shush it's okay, you're okay." A voice told her. Rissa looked up at the person who's arms she was in and saw Kozik. She tried to speak but no words came out, instead she began to sob uncontrollably. She knew that her calling Elliot would come back to bite her in the ass... It was just a matter of time.

SPN 7X2 Hello, Cruel World

well this is gonna be interesting

I have it on Some Authority this episode is also decent

oho right where last we ended

oh bobby

also knowing he dies :(

shit the leviathan goop looks SO COOL

are they seriously making fun of THEIR OWN PLOT

Saint Dean is important there

"set dressing"

Jeez, Cas's poor vessel

oh no the water

just

yeet in there

boy it does either feel arthurian

or canadian

Wait

Dean forgave cas basically with none of the justification, while Cas was just trying to do something for Dean?

I

wait when you put it that way

noooo the trenchcoat

noo Cas

he bundles it up

bruh Dean is like....crying

I don't like that zoom in

this looks so picturesque

a H SHIT THE WATER

"old black water" O H SHIT

honestly it reminds me of one of their first episodes

"hydrate and uh...protein..ate"

AWWWW

those stitches are so gnarly though

full blown hallucination wheeee

"I wasn't hiding, I just wasn't talking about it" S A M

ah yes smash cut to heavy drinking

"it had to be a mess Sam, or you wouldn't believe it was your life" O H

oh boy creepy kid

AHAHAA

DEAN DOESN'T SAY HIS PROBLEMSSS

Denial

ah Cas

he doesn't wanna think about Cas

it's kinda telling he prioritizes Sam and not anything about him

ah the spiderman thing

the villain concept is good though

aw she's so tired looking

take it easy, yeah I feel like that might not work

was that...flirting?

This is like...the first case they've worked in a WHILE

Dean you can be a lil...overbearing

This is a cool concept/conversation

well...there went the nice doctor

ah shit the kid watched Dr Sexy

ah SHE TOOK HIS BODY

ah shit not the old lady

hey maybe that paranoia paid off

HE DOESN'T WANNA ASK AHAHAA

in some ways, this is a worse show, but also

it's SO Much less painful to watch

HE'S EATING THE ORGANS

wHY

HE WIPED HIS MOUTH

boy mans is quite threatening

is lucifer playing golf

Sam's doing great

"can't take it anymore" "cleaning guns" yeesh

ah shit that hallucination

SHERIFF MILLS

that's what it took oh my god

they don't know each other

she's got a friend

and now sam has been left along uhoh

ah shit the goddamn hospital

the no vocal chords was FUCKED

TAKES HIS BEER

boy Sam looks FUCKED

already autopsied?

huh they're rly pushing Jody and Bobby

I mean it's not...Horrible

Dean you are NOT helping

"you are never gonna be ok sam" that sounds like personal experience also DEAN

ah shit it wasn't Dean

hallucination

dammit

Just killing...everyone

oh no

"you're out of control"

OH HE'S JUST MAKING IT WORSE

Morning Star

very funny

He's trying to get Sam to come back so he can bat him around the cage a bit

well there's confirmation

that...looks so much like among us

ah yes which one is the Real Dean

the gun apparently makes him feel better

that's a terrifying thought

the pain feels different

ohhh that's neat

boy that's fucked up, the pain thing

once again the divinity

oh shit is this the other business?

did they torch the auto shop?

AND THE HOUSE

ah the torch guy

Dean what the FUCK

Dean oh my god

bruh you're like certifiably insane

boy they really are insanely competent

Dean keeps getting chucked around

THAT'S WHEN HIS LEG BREAKS??REALLY?

ah shit and luci's back

of course he survives

1. ok so the leviathans(unkillable, black goop, infect normal people, hungry for parts, the hospital subplot, even infecting Cas) are actually....kinda cool? like they're legit villains but they're trying to be. Like they're Just Evil and that's it.

2. the look and feel of the hallucinations was really cool. Like I like how it shifted, how it moved, how they took turns, how Sam had to contend with two different worlds telling him opposite information. Neat

3. Discussion of uh...insanity was kinda wack. what I got from this was that Dean is fucked but is very good at continuing to work regardless(that whole Cas thing, hm?) and no one can decide how to address insanity. Tbh tho, that felt true to life. People have their own interpretations and explanations they can live with.

4. Jody! I'm glad she's here! and yeah they're doing Bobby/Jody, but they're kinda cute? Idk they're a good duo either way

5. huh and they're going to the hospital

You’re Not A Winchester

Title: You’re Not A Winchester

Author: theimpalaiscrying

sister!reader x Sam & Dean Winchester

Words: 2, 619

Warnings: Angst, lil’ bit of blood, swearing, mentions of depression and implied suicide thoughts, tears lol.

A/N: I’ve had this idea on my mind for months, and it feels great to finally share it somewhere. Enjoy! >:)

 Nothing about your life had ever been simple. To start, your life had been screwed over before you learned how to walk. A witch who was kidnapping children for blood sacrifices had ruined that for you. Fortunately, John Winchester had saved your little four-month-old ass before she could harm you. 

 After the whole ordeal, John adopted you and you grew up in the Winchester ‘Family Business’. You spent your childhood on the road with two over-protective older brothers that you loved more than anything, and a father who you constantly had to prove yourself to since he never seemed proud of your accomplishments. 

 Growing up, Dean was more of a father to you than John ever was. He protected you and Sam fiercely, made sure you both didn’t starve to death, and taught you things when John wasn’t there. You appreciated everything he’d done for you and Sam so you wouldn’t mind going out of your way to do things for him whenever you had the opportunity. Your bond with him hadn't been so strong at first, but as life progressed, you definitely got closer to him.

 Then there was Sam. He was older than you by two years, making you the baby sister in the family. You and he got along easily since you both had a mutual love for books, and you would often ‘geek out’ whenever you two were left alone considering John never seemed to approve. Dean was never the guy to go to for emotional issues, so Sam was who you went to whenever you were at your lowest (which was often since you didn’t have a particularly high self-esteem). 

You were sixteen when Sam left for Stanford, and it absolutely broke your heart when he did. It wasn’t necessarily him leaving that made you cry, you were proud that he decided to start making decisions for himself. What broke your heart was that he never mentioned leaving to you before. You guys used to tell each other everything, so why wouldn’t he mention it before? Sure, when he was having heated arguments with John he would mention leaving, but you never thought he’d follow through with the threat. 

 What was even worse, was that he never returned any of your calls or texts. Hell, you even tried emailing him, but nothing worked. He cut you out of his life completely, and you found yourself relying on Dean more to keep yourself going. He didn’t mind because he was doing the same thing with you. Of course, he never said so out loud, but you could tell.

 Your already powerful bond with Dean had developed so much during those hard years without Sam, that you could no longer imagine life without him. You had fallen into a depression where you began to believe that you were never important to Sam and that you’d trusted the wrong person with your secrets and insecurities. So having Dean there was imperative.

 Those years without Sam were a few of the worst years of your life. Sure, you could have always spoken with Dean about your profound sadness that always clouded your mind, but he was never one for chick-flick chats. So you bottled up your emotions and let your tears fall free when Dean was asleep or when you showered.

 You had only just adjusted to Sam’s absence and crawled out of your depression when John went missing and Dean decided you guys needed him. You definitely weren’t thrilled. In fact, you were pissed. Pissed that Sam did what he did to you, made you think the things that you did while he was gone. 

 So no, you did not greet him with open arms like Dean did. It took you quite a while to warm up to him again, and by a while, that means a year and a half.  

 Fast-forward to when you discovered Dean had sold his soul to bring Sam back. You were devastated when you found out. You’d only just gotten back on good terms with Sam, and now you were going to lose Dean; your hero, your rock.  

 Not only that, but you also couldn’t help but feel guilty that it wasn’t you that sold your soul, you had been too busy crying over Sam while Dean went and made the deal. You felt guilty because it was no secret how Sam and Dean had a much stronger connection with each other than they did with you. 

 Ultimately, you believed this was because you weren’t a real Winchester. You weren’t related to them by blood, so it was understandable that they favoured each other over you. It hurt, but it was fact. Even if Sam always reminded you that you were their sister and that you were important, deep down, you didn’t believe him. If it had been you who sold your soul for Sam, it would have saved Sam a lot more heartbreak. 

 To add to that, you weren’t sure you could live life without Dean. You’d grown so attached to him that you weren’t sure if you would be able to bear going through the Family Business without him. It just wouldn’t be the same. So, you worked harder than both Sam and Dean combined to prevent your eldest brother’s damnation. 

 But no matter how many all-nighters you pulled doing research, you still couldn’t protect him. You screamed your lungs out as Dean was ripped apart right before your eyes, your heart physically hurting from the sight. You ran to his side as soon as you got the chance and didn’t let go until hours had passed and Sam had to pry you away from his body. 

 The week that followed was Hell. Sam dropped you off at Bobby’s after you’d buried Dean, then tore away in the Impala. You’d requested to be dropped off there because you were in no condition to be hunting whatsoever. Sam decided to cope out on the road, and you let him. Everyone coped differently, and this was his way.

 When you weren’t crying in the spare bedroom Bobby had leant you, you were either doing research on how to get Dean back or waking up from the same nightmare. You had refused to go to a crossroad demon to get him back since you didn’t want to put Sam or Bobby through that. Plus, it would be selfish of you if you did, at least, that’s what you thought. 

 You barely ate or slept, and Bobby couldn’t even strike up a conversation with you. Even yelling at you wouldn’t knock you out of that dazed zombie look you now sported. 

 You hadn’t heard a word from Sam for a week, and when that realisation hit you, something else did. Dean wouldn’t want you to be moping around being miserable and having nightmares. Dean would want you to suck it up, be strong, stick with Sam, and find a way to bring him back with a clear head.  

 So that’s what you planned to do. 

 You picked up the fragmented pieces of your heart, glued them back together for now, and marched down the stairs with a new fire burning in your eyes. Bobby was relieved to see you were feeling better and was even more so when you announced you were going out to find Sam. He gladly gave you one of his vehicles, you gave him a big hug, and were off, having tracked your brother down already via his phone. 

 You drove for the entire day, only stopping to grab food twice, completely consumed by worry. You were worried something had happened to Sam since he usually would have called to check in with you by now; he was pretty protective of you. Of course, you had already called him, but when he didn’t pick up, you texted him. When he didn’t answer your texts, you floored the gas until the sun had gone down. It wasn’t like him to not answer… excluding when he went to Stanford. 

 Your grip on the steering wheel was almost painful, but you paid no mind to that. Fear clutched your heart all through the night, fear that you had lost another brother. The thought was so terrifying that it brought tears to your eyes. But you didn’t cry. You kept your eyes on the road through the headlights. 

 You almost had a heart attack when you saw the little blue dot signifying Sam’s phone’s location begin to move. You were thirty minutes away from where it had been, and now it was going in the opposite direction. But you kept at it, fighting your fatigue with thoughts of your brother.

 When the little blue dot finally stopped, it was at a crossroad, and dread filled your stomach. “No. No no no! No! Not again!” You screamed, wishing you could get there faster. You were ten minutes away. 

 When you got there, Baby was parked on the side of the road, and Sam was conversing with a man you could only assume was a crossroad demon. Your car came to a sliding halt along the gravel of the crossroad, and you leapt out of the driver’s seat as soon as you’d thrown it into park. Both Sam and the demon were looking at you curiously as you sped-walked in their direction. 

 “Get out of here.” You growled at the demon. When he didn’t respond right away or move, you pulled a flask from your pocket and flicked its contents on him. The demon screamed in surprise as the holy water came into contact with his skin, burning him. Then he was gone, leaving you to sigh in relief. 

 You were about to hug Sam, but stopped in your tracks when he shouted, “What the Hell was that? Why’d you do that?” He whirled on you, towering above you with furious eyes. 

 You were taken aback by the way he squared up to you like he was going to attack you. Never in your entire life has he ever looked at you like that. 

 The smell of alcohol suddenly hit your nose, and then it made sense. You didn’t know how drunk he was, but you knew he wasn’t thinking clearly. So you figured you’d just drive him to the nearest motel and talk sense with him tomorrow. 

 “I did that because I love you. Now, where're the keys to the Impala? I’m driving you to the nearest motel.” You said, keeping your voice calm and approaching slowly. 

 “Oh, stop pretending like you care.” he snarled, taking a step back and avoiding your outstretched hand. 

 Your brows grooved down in confusion. “What do you mean? I do care!” You argued, your hand dropping back down to your side. 

 “Sure. So why did you just stop me from saving Dean then, (Y/N)? What have you done to try and get him back, huh?” he challenged, staring you down like you were his worst enemy. 

 You pretended like that didn’t stab you in the heart and shook your head. “Sam, you’re not thinking clearly. Please, just come with me.” You begged, reaching for his arm again. 

 This time, he smacked it away, almost as if he were disgusted. “I’m thinking fine, (Y/N). The only thing I don’t understand is you.” he snapped. “Look at you! It’s only been a week and you’re already over Dean!” 

 Tears pricked your eyes but you stayed strong. “I’m not over Dean! I picked myself up because I knew he wouldn’t want me to be sad and because I was worried about you!” You shouted. 

 Sam merely sneered at you. “So what? Have you the ability to just drop your emotions like that? No. No, you don’t care. But I guess that’s okay. You aren’t our sister anyway.” 

 Those five words felt like a freight train to the chest. Taking a painful step back, your eyes widened and tears finally fell free of your eyes. “What?” You whispered, not believing what he just said. 

 He knew. He knew you had always been insecure that you weren’t really their sister, that you weren’t really a Winchester. You could not believe he was using it against you now after he’d always tried to convince you that you were their sister.

 “You heard me,” he growled. “You’re just a kid that dad picked up out of pity. You never cared about Dean, dad, or me. If you did, you would have sold your soul for me, instead of Dean. If you did, you would have let me sell my soul to get him back. You’re not a Winchester, and you sure as Hell aren’t our sister.” 

 With each word that left his lips, a shell tore through your soul, breaking you down inside and leaving your glued heart shattered all over again. And with each piece that fell to the floor again, the hurt inside you began to bubble up until you could no longer hold it back. 

 Your face twisted with emotion, you took two long strides in his direction, and you punched him. You punched him so hard, that he fell flat on his back, blood already streaming from his nostrils. You had so much to say, so much to scream about how wrong he was, but you said nothing. Instead, you watched him blink at the sky in shock twice with tears dripping from your jaw before you turned on your heel and stormed towards your car.

 You didn’t even spare Sam a glance as you shredded away in your borrowed vehicle. As soon as you were out of earshot of Sam, you screamed your throat bloody, the number of tears falling from your eyes increasing. 

 You sobbed and screamed into the night, as you realised that you just lost your last brother, if he was even your brother in the first place. Now, you had nobody. 

 Sure, you had Bobby, but every time you crawled to him for help, you felt like shit because you could never do anything in return. You were a burden to him, and God already knew how busy he already was without you causing problems in the background. 

 You had nobody to turn to, nobody to live for, and that melted your resolve. After nearly swerving off the road twice, you decided to pull over. An accident was the last thing you needed right now. As soon as your vehicle was stopped, you let it all out. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck!” You screamed, beating your hands on the steering wheel in sync with your profanities. 

 You clutched the steering wheel and leant back, tears coming down your face in buckets. Sobs escaped your chest painfully, barely allowing you to breathe. You thought back to John’s death, then to when you watched Sam get stabbed in the back, and finally when you watched Dean get torn apart by Hellhounds. The memories made fresh tears pour down your face and more sobs wrack your body. 

By the time tears no longer fell down your face, the sun was starting to rise from the gravel road in front of you, bathing you in orange light as you stared blankly ahead. 

They may have been your brothers but turns out, you were never their sister.  

a comprehensive humanz listening experience

henlo friends i wrote this as i listened to the entire humanz album for the first time. here are my thoughts and revelations written in real life as i went through this life-changing and at times harrowing experience. i hope you enjoy

intro: i switched my robot off

is that russel’s voice

that FUCKIN TRANSITION INTO ASCENSION??? damn

7/10 im fuckin ready

ascension

gets me fuckin pumped as always

BE A PUPPET ON A STRING HANGIN FROM A FUCKIN TREE

9/10 after like 50 plays over the past few weeks it’s still great 

strobelite

oh this is a cute intro. very bouncy

sounds like a hip and trendy remix of the seinfeld intro. im digging it

this is the type of song you go swaggering down the street to wearing ur fancy new 70s disco duds

just had a mental image of murdoc dancing disco to this

i feel like this is gonna grow on me in the coming weeks

noodle’s falsetto is so cute she’s going so hard i love her

7/10 i like how happy it was

saturnz barz

honestly after how joyful strobelite was this tempered the album really nicely

i still can’t listen to this song without thinking about murdoc’s dick. minus one point

honestly i’m only four songs deep and the album already has got a really strong electronic pulsing haunting vibe going and i love how well it all goes together

death by 2d. those vocals? WHACK and by whack i mean i want to cry it’s so beautiful

6/10 always a classic and gave us THE BATH but honestly i’ve always liked the other singles a bit more and i don’t want to think about murdoc’s dick

momentz

what is happening

MOMENTZ that scared me

HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT HHOTLY SHIT

THEY’RE GOIN OFF

DAAAAAAAMN 2D

dirty

im gonna SCREAM THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD THIS GOES SO FUCKING HARD GOD FUCKIN DAMN

whose voices are those?? the high voices saying plastic on the ceiling

is that 2d and noodle omf

honestly the fact that this is in a major key makes it like. really psychedelic party hard i can see people headbanging and on hella drugs listening to this

i think i liked the intro part more than when it got all dreamy at the end

7/10 kind of petered off at the end but the intro was really amazing

interlude: the non-conformist oath

i promise not to repeat things other people say lmao

4/10 obligatory weird shit from damon

submission

ohhhHHHHhh the vocals

OOOHHHHHHH THE BACKING VOCALS

ohhHHhhHHHHHHHH fuck fu cku fucK i love the backing choir it’s so gorgeous 

all the choir backings make me think of the whole band just singing quietly together in the back and. idk it’s such a good image of them all being so deep into their music and jamming together and on the same wavelength

what the hell kind of noise is 2d making in the background of this

i feel like this is gonna get stuck in my head in the next week 

HOLY SHIT THE RAP i like his rap style very erratic 

the choral vocals behind the jumpy rap is so good

this is honestly something i think of when i think of the word celestial

8.5/10 this is gorgeous but i’m saving 9s and 10s for things that really knock me off my feet 

charger

is this the orange juice lady

super tough leather jacket vibe murdoc def wrote this

fuuuuuuuuuuck stu’s lil breathy speaking voice. honestly im weak for high pitched breathy stu voice he’s so cute fuck me up

a cha cha cha

i feel tough listening to this like walking into a gritty bar and smirking at everyone. the beat is really stalky

idk normally i don’t really like songs without very much melody but its p well done 

OHHHHH the electronic whistles that’s good

murdoc probably was fuckin his bass for this one

okay more melody at the end!!! choral backing vocals are back too i like it more now

6/10 2d’s vocals got me wet ngl

interlude: elevator going up 

wait that was so short

uh 5/10 because the guy says going up like gooOOOooing up which is nice

andromeda

ohhHHHh okay honestly with the interlude before it it’s nice it feels like im taking a fast glass elevator up to space 

OH I JUST GOT WHY THERE’S LIKE AN ELEVATOR SOUND AS THE FIRST NOISES

this like. cleansed my palate and calmed me down after charger. 

the drum? ??  poppin. smooth backing instrumentals. noodle’s little humming in the background? adorable. 2d’s falsetto? magnificent

the little melody right before take it in your heart now lover always gets me it’s so dancy i always bounce around to it. so great

andromedaaaaaaaa (andromedaaaaaaaa)

when does damon cry

8/10 another hit single and it reminds me of like neon signs and retro roller rinks

busted and blue

OH FUCK IT TRANSITIONS

OH FUCK THIS IS THE ONE THAT MAKES EVERYONE CRY ISN’T IT

ohhhHHHHHhhhhh god oh god this is gonna fuck me up 

FUCK

death by 2d 

ohh. oh my god. fuck. fuCK. fuck the vocals. fuck. the vocals. 

my heartstrings

is it about 2d? because if it is. oh god that’s so sad

amplify the sirens more like amplify my sobs because there are tears

so deep and ethereal i feel like i’m sitting on a roof staring up at the stars about to fall into space

I CAN’T GET BACK WITHOUT YOU

this is another love song on par with to binge or on melancholy hill

murdoc niccals or stuart pot or SOMEONE IN THIS BAND is in LOVE WITH SOMEONE and it’s BREAKING THEM APART 

THE BACKING VOCALS oh noooo oh noo oh no

fuck i’m really actually tearing up i [note: i had to stop here because my breathing was getting funny and i was tearing up and my rommate is asleep so i had to calm down]

he sounds like a lost little child looking at the stars through his window 

the deep bass sounds and the minor chords and the gentle snapping. im floating

THE SLIDING NOISES this is what it feels like to be in space my heart is so cold and empty but so full 

the ending satellite. the gentle rain noises. the setting down of the music. goodbye i am dead tell damon albarn that he has killed a person on this day

10/10 this song is one of those rare ones that catches me by the heart and reminds me of dark blue and stars. thenks damon albarn for my life and someone please comfort 2d 

interlude: talk radio

why are there so many interludes in this damn album

wtf

uhhhhhhhh

is this guy okay

2/10 what the fuck

carnival

what the fuck

oh okay that opening beat was cool

is someone knocking on a door. let them in

the keyboard in the back is cool i guess

someone please let whoever’s knocking in 

very bobby womack-y vibe. pretty intense between the dark instrumentals and the KNOCKING WHICH DOES NOT END

hyeAUp

3/10 i didn’t really like it. very spinny tho and it goes well with the rest of the album as like a filler song

let me out 

MAMA MAVIS OH MAMA THEY TRY MY PATIENCE

OH OH OH IT’S GONE WHO IS LEFT TO SAVE US

OH OH OH WE MOURN IM PRAYIN FOR MY NEIGHBORS

THEY SAY THE DEVIL’S AT WORK AND oh IS CALLIN FAVORS

honestly the little electronic oh oh oh’s in the beginning are what i live for

plus they bleep out trump which is hilarious drag him damon

let me out let me out let me out it’s DEL LET HIM OUT

fuck this was my favorite out of all the singles i listened to it 15 times today

2d’s vocals are adorable yeah yeah yeah 

the whispering gets me SO MCFREAKING PUMPED im ready to OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT

the build up gives me legitimate shivers. the whispering and the choral vocals ugH i love it

you gotta die a little if you wanna live

the ending is so haunting

let me out 

9/10 i love this song so much please let del out. my only problem with it is that i sound dumb when i try and sing the first lines with the electronic oh’s 

interlude: penthouse

REALLY ANOTHER ONE

damn someone’s goin hard

ding

5/10 sounds like one of those audio posts where people do some song but heard through the wall 

sex murder party 

just looking at the title i know murdoc wrote this

oohhhhh nice beat

this is like going to a cool underground house party with lots of smoke and colored strobe lights somewhere in germany

is someone playing the kazoo

idk i don’t think 2d’s sleepy sad vocals really go with this it sounds like he’s mourning while walking down a runway

on that note: model 2d walking down a runway. he would fall off the stage almost immediately

this sounds like something that would play in forever 21

the deep voice has some cool lyrics 

why are they whimpering the words sex murder party 

the kazoo is back

murder murder murder muuurder 

4/10 didn’t love it but it was better than carnival and it had a kazoo 

she’s my collar

ohHHH i like this very punk pop

oH SHIT damn stu those vocals tho

wait what is he talking about a collar

DID HE JUST SAY SHE’S MY FURSONA

i likE IT IT’S VERY DARK AND BOUNCY AND ETHEREAL BUT UHHHHH IS THIS A REFERENCE TO ALL THE BDSM AND FURRY SHIT GOING ON THIS PHASE

the panting .. . . mmmmmm

2d’s tryna get some 

KALI DAAAAAAAMN

this is a really sexual song but i really love it 

i really love when 2d speaks quickly and semi-raps 

kali’s vocals are gorgeous. also her snapchats were great

she’s my collar she’s the one i’m running with 

im jammin out this is gonna be my new jam 

FUCk the panting came back i. wasn’t expecting this

9/10 2d’s into some kinky shit but i’d still let him fuck me 

WAIT THE PANTING IS A REFERNECE TO DOGS FUCKING SHIT IT’S A PUPPY PLAY REFERENCE WITH ALL THE 2D DOG STUFF THIS PHASE FU ck

i am. kinkshaming. minus one point for making me suffer through this realization

interlude: the elephant

COME THE FUCK ON THEY’RE NOT INTERLUDES ANYMORE IF THEY TAKE UP THREE QUARTERS OF THE GOTDAMN ALBUM

uhhhhh again. what the fuck

2/10 these are getting annoying

hallelujah money

so unsettling and weird but that’s what it’s going for i guess

ben clementine’s voice is so good and it sounds like a sermon esp with the choir in the back i love it

idk it makes me sad because it reminds me of the night of the election and how everyone cried and was so scared

i love the chord progressions

haaaaaaallelujah moneeeeeeey 

again 2d’s vocals kill me i have been slain thrice

we are still humans, how will we know, how will we dream, how will we love

what fantastic lyrics. the crux of the album tbh i feel like i’m being told a story

this song terrifies and creeps me out but makes me feel warm and strong like i can face the scary things it brings up??  i don’t like it as a song per se but as a piece of art with a message it’s absolutely amazing

HALLELUJAH MONEY

where is my spongebob scream

8/10 i never loved this song but i appreciated the chord progressions a lot this time around and it adds a lot to the message of the album. also it fuckin destroys donald trump lmao damon what is ur damage i love it

we got the power 

honestly it’s upbeat and i like that but it’s a little bit too cheesy for me

the claps in the back remind me of that shitpost where it’s like the people in the 80s doing that weird dance yoga

this is a good song to do jazzercise to. imagine murdoc doing jazzercise

 never mind don’t do that

“on the m1″ is that a reference to m1a1?

oh oh oh stu ur so cute

the backing instrumentals are so powerful i feel like i am being propelled through the stratosphere on russel’s back

5/10 it’s cute and happy but i never really ever got into it even after having had time to

interlude: new world

P L E A S E N O M O R E I N T E R L U D E S 

this sounds like an electronic soap opera intro theme song

the elevator? ? i guess the elevator is the new thing this album

oh fuck this is creepy 

yikes yikes YIKES 

honestly it has an actual uhhhh music ish thing going on so?? ? i guess there’s that

i just wanted to be close to you BITCH NO GET THE FUCK AWAY 

2/10 because i don’t want to be close to whatever’s whisperin in my ear and also because apparently damon albarn does not understand what an interlude is 

the apprentice

so great. so jazzy. so cool and suave. 

clap clap clap cla-cla-clap i love the beat 

I AM A BROKEN SCREEN I’M A MAP ROUTINE

this is also going to get stuck in my head isn’t it

I’M INSIDE YOUR HEAD ya u are

oooohhh the electronics are so bubbly

THE FEMALE SINGER’S VOICE? ? ? SO SMOOTH SO GOOD so gorgeous im dead

this song reminds me of a lava lamp 

YO NEW BLACK KING NEW YORK DREAM 

IM THE FIRST BLACK PRINCE OF A NEW WHITE KING

god this rap is so great 

normally i don’t like slower songs but this one just. takes its time and jams out and knows exactly what it’s doing. what a bop

8/10 a solid addition to the album and holds its own really well 

halfway to the halfway house

this album is so long but i’m not complaining. actually i am a little because i have a writing sample due in an hour and a half and my computer is dying but this is more important 

nice spaceship sounds

2d’s really jamming out on those bloopy keyboard sounds isn’t he

it’s like floating in a pool of static kinda

i like the chorus esp since everyone in the band is singing together which i still think is so cute

everyone singing on it has really good voices but idk the fact that there’s no real melody kinda distracts from that 

it sounds like a congregation or a gospel choir which is super cool 

3.5/10 it was pretty cool but a little too aimless for me

out of body

pipe down pipe down

tHIS IS CREEPIN ME OUT

oh SHIT WAIT THIS IS SO COOL DAMN

i don’t know who’s rapping right now but i love her and her voice

THIS GOES OFF DAMN

i love it. i love this song this is so bouncy and cool and it’s so cute too with the lyrics telling you how to dance

noodle wrote this. noodle 100% wrote this

i feel so cool listening to this 

this is definitely going to be in a commercial for like. fashion or makeup or something 

this is the new runway song

this is something you listen to right before going out to some fancy european club with like models and weird plastic architecture

oH SHIT OH SHIT 2D’S RAPPING IM SCREAMIGN

FUCK 

FUCK IM YELLING his voice is so high im screeching

they made this fucking dork into a suave motherfucker 

9/10 i was briefly transformed into a european model and stuart “two-dents” pot makes his debut as a falsetto rapper and also establishes himself as the coolest baddest hippest raddest mofo out there despite not being able to tie his shoes 

ticker tape 

it’s almost over :(

very dreamlike and chill 

awwww the way he sings ticker tape is so cute 

the whistling!

okay this one’s cute it’s like. very dreamy and sweet

cauterized and beautiful wow i like those words 

i can see stu or russ singing this gently under their breath while just doing work. what a cute and sweet song 

it’s about healing? maybe they’re healing their relationships with each other. i hope so

a sudden draft and quick chill, a single snowflake falls and that is all damon your imagery is fantastic as always

ohh the acapella is so nice. this means murdoc had to go buh buh buh in the back which is cute 

the sudden stops are so quirky 

again i love the crackling of vinyl at the ends of some of these 

7/10 super cute and not what i expected at all from such a dark album

circle of friendz

the final song? ?? i hope it’s good i wanna give it a 10

ohhhh what’s gonna happen with this buildup

who’s breaking shit

aw these lyrics are cute even though they’re a little juvenile 

a circle of friends :))))))

the growing instrumentals in the back are so sweet 

stu and noodle singing my circle of friends as the last thing in the album rotted my teeth and gave me diabetes

a cute ending!!!! even though it didn’t wow me it made me smile

7/10 they are a happy family 

faves: ascension, saturnz barz, momentz, submission, andromeda, busted and blue, let me out, the apprentice, out of body 

overall: not going to give it a numerical rating because i would just give it a 10 because i was so excited for it. honestly i think it was a pretty solid album there weren't any breakout hits like feel good inc. or whatever but they did a really solid job on it in total. thenks damon albarn for my life please tell 2d and noodle and russel and murdoc i love them 

Hi there I'm writing a fic and wondered if you could help me with something. I don't know an awful lot about David beckham Paul scholes and Phil Neville. I know your a man Utd fan and you'll probably love them all haha but just tell me what they're like from what you can gather as people and players. Even if it's just your opinion that's fine! Thanks so much for your help

ok SO i do love them a lot and i know much more about them than i ought to, so much so to the point that it might be more useful if you had something more specific you need to ask about, because i…am far too involved in them??? buT general-wise i wrote a draft primer on the co92 a while ago and I’m just going to copy and paste from there and hope this helps!!!! 

putting this under a read more because this is....long

BECKS:

Everyone and their mum (especially their mums, probably) knows who David Beckham is, but did you know him when he thought that curtains were not just to make windows pretty but also for hair? Did you? Because curtain becks is almost as bad as half-alive mullet becks (although nothing can beat cornrow becks in the history of what the fuck were you thinking, let’s be real).

What can I tell you about Becks that you don’t already know? He has OCD and has to have an even number of coke cans in the fridge. He took cooking classes when he was at Milan and learnt how to make pasta (a far cry from his humble beginnings in Gary Neville’s kitchen). His middle name is Robert for Bobby Charlton. He’s honestly a more down-to-earth and clever bloke than people give him the credit for and he’s really just a little boy who’s loving what he does and works incredibly hard for it? A lot of people always remember the underwear modeling (for good reason, I mean, have you seen) but in doing so they dismiss his playing days, which is ridiculous because he was so fucking good. And hey, you can be good at both football and looking like a life-sized, anatomically correct Ken doll! His crosses were exquisite, his free kicks were sublime, and the partnership he had with Gaz is still guilty of murder for killing me through old, grainy youtube videos. Also everyone’s always keen to stress that he’s never really let fame change him or the way he deals with people, which is lovely.

If you wanna kill urself, watch his retirement interview with Gary, because it perfectly sums up who he is. Boy from Leytonstone who wanted to play football. He’s so insistent on being remembered as a player that it really breaks your heart that more people don’t. No one talks about how he tried that Wimbledon goal every day in training, or how he still hits exquisite free kicks aged 40plus because he practiced them for so damn long. He’s a beautiful talented hardworking boy and I lov him!! and he’s not arrogant or anything at all he’s just so cool!

Becks left United in 2003 after a bit of a bust up with Fergie, even though they remain on great terms nowadays. It broke everyone’s heart, it broke Gary’s heart, but it wasn’t so bad for Becks bc he found a Spanish goalkeeper to frolic around with. Still couldn’t watch us play for years, though, so there!!! In 2007 he moved to LA Galaxy, in 2013 he moved to PSG, and he retired then. It was great, he got thrown into the air and shit bc he was retiring so it wouldn’t matter if he broke his legs. ffs lads.

Fun fact: I still laugh at the fact that his house in Hertfordshire was called Beckhingham Palace

SCHOLESY:

My favourite story of him regarding this Intense Dislike for Humanity is this one: after the 2008 CL final, which we won, he was the first and only one on the team bus while everyone else was ostensibly getting drunk off their tits. At the next press conference, reporters asked him if he’d wanted to have some time to himself and reflect on how he’d finally gotten redemption for 1999. He stared at them and said, “I just wanted to go home.” 

IDC IF IT’S AN URBAN MYTH IT BASICALLY SUMS HIM UP ENTIRELY.

My other favourite story of him is him telling AC Milan’s president that ‘if you want me to play for you, you’ll have to buy this club’, because we’re the best club in the world. Seriously, his love for United is so great. Sometimes he’s described as an Oldham fan, but he’s said before that it was United first and Oldham second. Did I say ‘said’? I probably meant smoke-signalled it because this bitch is so hard to get interviews with. There’s this great one where he’d just retired or something so the BBC got him to do an interview and their first question was ‘is this a living hell for you, then?’ and his response was ‘it is, really, yeah…I’ve been thinking to myself ‘why the hell did I agree to this???’. I know people have been knocking him for talking a lot more nowadays but a) he’s a pundit, it’s his job to talk and b) I rly think it’s just because it’s his only link with football that he has left?? So he puts himself thru it, because he just loves football so much, and that makes me love him even more? The directors of CO92 had a kickabout with him and described it as watching a little boy play again and I think that’s just the most beautiful and pure thing and Scholesy is so pure. Except when he’s setting people on fire.

BC HE DOES THAT A LOT, like, you think he’s quiet so he ain’t gonna be up for much banter but, my dude, he is the most savage person you will ever encounter. The closest I’ve ever seen him come to pissing himself laughing was when he was describing attacking Phil with a 50-yarder and knocking a POOR INNOCENT BOY flat on the ground. Laughing at that! Also his sense of humour is absolute wreckage. Gary has the best story:

People think Scholesy’s shy and quiet but he’s one of the most cutting people I know. Example: the day Diana Law, who worked in United’s press department, was chatting with the players. “Gary, you remind me of my brother for some reason,” she said. “Why?” Scholesy replied, quick as a flash. “Is he a knob too?”

HAHAH u knob. AnyWAY this is getting long but tldr tiny ginger little shit who hates the world and would probably hate how much i love him. He debuted for United in 1994, scoring twice against Port Vale, and retired in 2011, then unretired in 2012 and waltzed into our starting XI, and then retired again in 2013. So the only person we could find to replace Paul Scholes was Paul Scholes. smh.

Fun fact: he used to steal all of Gary’s shit and hide things and he’s SUCH A LITTLE SHIT, both literally and figuratively, I love it

PHIL:

ok phil is just the sweetest purest cinnamon roll you will ever meet, ever, I mean you probably won’t ever meet him but u know what i mean. Sometimes I think he’s too sweet bc he’s such a dumb pushover. Someone once said he was everyone’s favourite Neville just by virtue of being not Gary. Which is hilarious. ANyway he’s a fuckin sweetie pie and family man who constantly refers to his kids has his babies even tho Harvey is, like, old enough to drive I think?? and he’s an incredibly good dad to Isabella especially who has cerebral palsy but he’s so!!!! supportive!!! and god what did we do to deserve this dumb boi. If we were doing a CO92/Spice Boys crossover he would be Redders hands down because he also gets a lot of stick, from his commentary to his analysis (I s’pose it doesn’t help when ur bruv keeps winning shit like pundit of the year), but he always takes it on the chin and laughs it off and keeps on being such a good person, kind to everyone he meets and genuinely good-natured. I love his self-deprecating humour, it’s the best thing. He also loves United a lot, altho probably not as much as he loves Gaz uwu

Ok, so he’s not the world’s most exciting or greatest player, but he was honestly rly talented and people can forget that?? I mean you don’t just make captain of Everton bc you’re the United captain’s lil bro. He scored some amazing goals when he was at United - maybe the olden day Jesse Lingard - not a great goal scorer but a scorer of great goals. And he was always so intent and almost enthusiastic going into things, which kinda mirrors his puppy personality, which I lov. because don’t let his puppy dog eyes and smile fool u, ok, he’s just as driven as all of them and he will get what he want. probably just with less blood and dead people than, like, scholesy.

He’s two years younger than the rest of them so he made his debut in ‘95 and then heartbreakingly left in 2005, going on to captain Everton (but not before scoring an own goal against us bc he loves us still really). He retired in 2013.   All these kids retiring in the same year! Tsk. It’s like they planned it or something.

Fun fact: he was a brilliant cricketer and used to play with Freddie Flintoff. A tear shed for the hungover Philip at Buckingham Palace that we never had