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#also can we talk abt how some trans mascs refer to other trans mascs as afabs just to put them down
catgirl-kaiju · 2 months
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i'm saying this as a trans man and someone who has watched this infighting that seems to be brewing for a long while so don't think i want to continue it further by dragging you in the mud of it all especially after seeing that you already get targeted by terfs i for one don't even follow genderkoolaid and have a lot of bad takes but i know that their good ones do circulate in my circles for things like databases for trans man hate crimes and what have you things that are invaluable to trans people to have as support in the community the baggage behind a lot of these words that get thrown around like "transandrophobia" just leave a bad taste in my mouth and i feel like if they will have any validity in academia and social justice all the theory will get ironed out in the next few years and so i just don't see any use defending THE WORD let alone THE SLUR THAT MANY USE but i think that it needs to be understood that the word """"transandrophobia"""" is not a organized school of thought with everyone attached to some discord group that has secret infighting targets and takes pot shots at trans women all i ever see is people using the word, talking about WHY THE SLUR IS A SLUR, and wanting to talk about problems trans men face without always having to use the word "misandry" because it is deeply upsetting that in so many ways we are born women, we live as women, and will never escape womanhood i feel like not being able to escape the things people perceive you as and the assumptions and fears (especially the fears people think are justified when they are very much not) are a universal trans experience and so it really hurts to just see people spot a basic word like "transandrophobia" being used in a post and deem an entire group of people bigots i see trans mascs and intersex people do the same for "tme/tma" where they just totally avoid anyone who uses these terms its tearing the community apart and making it harder to remember how much we have in common and bigots want us to be alone and defenseless like that... sorry that this was long winded, i'm sure you've heard all of this before i just felt i needed to vent because its really not about the blog its about the general way people navigate in fighting genderkoolaid is not someone i'm really willing to defend, let alone the other blogs that get tossed around that have been in heavy water so i hope i've made that clear here at the very least
hey i don't really follow what you're saying here. i'm not sure what slur the slur you're referring to is, and i'm very unclear what your point is abt transandrophobia. i'm also confused abt which intersex people u are referring to that don't like the terms tme/tma. i'm intersex and use those terms, and i've seen other intersex folks actually prefer those terms for discussions about transmisogyny because of how it shifts the focus away from very binary way that sex is talked about in the AGAB model.
this is, in general, confusing and makes me uncomfortable in ways i can't really articulate atm. i think chief among them is a kind of "but, what about me" vibe i'm getting from this at a time i am being more vocal than ever abt how transmisogyny affects me and other tma folks.
although i'm not sure what your stance on the term "transandrophobia" and the ideas behind it are, i can say that very much disapprove of it for reasons others have articulated so much better than i could. i think issues that uniquely affect trans masc folks are worth talking about, but i think the framing of conflating those issues with the way transmisogyny functions is just the wrong way to go about it. much like how "misandry" is not really a helpful way to talk abt the ways that cis men are affected by patriarchal systems, as those issues are not equivalent to the way misogyny functions. very telling that before the term "transandrophobia" was used, the same ideas were being described with the term "transmisandry"
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i-got-bored · 3 months
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transmacs and their types
i need to talk abt this without ranting to my friends so here we go.
TWs: mention of £Ds
"types" of transmascs need a suitable amount of representation. i am sick of seeing fluffy haired, skinny, white, tall(ish) people be the only result when i search up some masc outfit inspo on Pinterest.
for reference: i am currently in a "my gender is wtf" kinda phase but i prefer to present in as much of a masculine way as possible as i got tired of being called "woman." it still happens tho.
i have very fem defining features, i have defined and wide hips, thick thighs and a large chest. these are things i can do nothing abt due to my current situation and things i have always been insecure abt no matter my gender identity (tho the lack of masc in it rly doesnt help).
so trying to find people who look like me is like a needle in a haystack. because the only rep you want to see are dilapdated sick victorian children looking boys. i partly want to blame the infantilisation of trans people but its also related to a lack of body diversity and racism.
i am white, white as a sheet, and if i feel shitty abt the lack of people like me, i cant imagine how plus/midsized/fem looking poc feel.
how it feels to not find a haircut you like bcs the standard is white boy fluffy hair, how it feels to grow up in cultures where everything is gendered and attitudes to gender are so extremely conservative (this also occurs in white cultures as well, but its more prevalent in poc cultures from what i've heard)
the normalisation of EDs in the trans community is a massive issue to this. i have bordered on starving myself so many times due to just wanting to look like the pretty pinterest boys. of course im not attacking people who generally are skinny, suffer from eds etc. its about the normalisation and romanticisation (?) of them. as soon as a plus/midsized/curvy transmasc enters the community, they are always invalidated so much more than the skinny, fluffy haired counterparts.
so do better, make sure everyone feels validated and for gods sake allow any and every human rights movement to get intersectional. acknowledge your troubles, yes, but empower the stories of people who dont get heard and allow their troubles to be acknowledged.
and if you took the time to read all this. thank you. thank you for hearing my and others problems, you are awesome <3
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catholic-trauma · 2 years
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✞ thanatos/prince/your majesty (im half-joking), 23, he/they. any nicknames/pet names should be masc or gender neutral, never fem. currently single and too insecure to flirt but not against being flirted with.
✞ androgynous(?). genderfluid, usually masc. i plan on getting top surgery but not fully transitioning. i am not on hormones and currently do not plan on it.
✞ prince. absolutely full of myself. worship me or die. im half-joking.
✞ unapologetically chubby, unapologetically body positive. this does not mean my blog is a safe space for ed blogs, weight gain/loss fetish blogs, feederism blogs, or fat fetishist blogs. if you post anything even remotely related to any of this, do not fucking interact with me and do not fucking follow me.
✞ achillean. very much into other trans and nonbinary people but sometimes cis people are cool too. sub with some very rare and very specific switchy fantasies. absolute bottom. couldn’t top to save my life.
✞ this blog is my main blog and my only blog. i mostly post nsfw stuff but will generally post whatever i feel like posting. i have adhd, autism, complex ptsd, depression, anxiety, and osdd, and i am also an abuse + religious trauma survivor, so just a warning ahead of time that i might discuss those things occasionally. there may also be some venting (these posts will always be tagged accordingly)
✞ everything i post is consensual and within the context of an established relationship!
✞ i’ll make a more detailed list later (<- guy who is lying) but most of what you’ll find here:
- royalty kink, as well as being referred to with titles such as your highness and your majesty
- boot worship
- suits
- vampire kink (and certain other monsters)
- bondage
- light-moderate bdsm (choking, manhandling, fear play, maybe a little bit of impact play, and the like). very occasionally i post heavier bdsm.
- maybe some oc posts here and there? i have a lot of ocs that i project my fantasies onto lol. oc posts will have their own tags w their name if i happen to post smthn abt one of them
- muscles and body hair. i am weak
- catholic guilt tm (priests, corruption, etc). i am a religious abuse survivor and this is a coping mechanism.
- calling people daddy/sir as a title only. ageplayers + sexual cgl do not fucking interact.
- for personal reasons i don’t really like the word mommy, but into the idea of calling someone ma’am or miss. again, this is as a title only. ageplayers + sexual cgl do not fucking interact.
- body worship
- worship in general? lol
- authority/power imbalance
- brat/brat tamer
- cnc (all consensual, all within the context of an established relationship)
- somno
- exhibitionism
- free use
- breeding (no pregnancy)
✞ limits (i will not block you just for posting these things, but i do not want any of it directed at me):
- sc4t
- v0mit
- feet
- i hate, hate, absolutely fucking hate being referred to as daddy, sir, or other similar titles. do not refer to me using these titles.
- feminine nicknames/pet names of any kind. i especially hate the word pr!ncess.
- pet play, especially k!tten play. the word k!tten in general.
- spanking
- spitting
- pregnancy
- any situation where i have to top?? in the very rare instances that im a dom i am a dom bottom lol
- intoxication, mind control, hypnosis, and anything in that zone
- gaslighting/manipulation. this is one of my biggest triggers.
✞ lesbians/wlw can follow and interact with my blog, but i would rather they not dm me or send me asks!! i am a dude n it just makes me uncomfortable, sorry!!
✞ i don’t rly post pics of myself here!! i just don’t have the confidence
✞ asks are open. if we are mutuals feel free to send me an ask me any time, although i’m very awkward and may not rly know how to respond. my dms are also open but im even more awkward there lmao. if you wanna talk you gotta message me first lol sorry im a bottom
✞ dnf + dni: m!nors (this means under the age of 18, i don’t care if you’re legal where you’re from, if you’re under 18 do not fucking follow or interact), cishet men (cis bi/pan + cis gay dudes are cool as long as you don’t see me as a girl), cishet women (cis bi/pan women ok, again as long as you don’t see me as a girl), men dni blogs, ageless, blank, misgendering, detrans, truscum/transmed, ddlg/b, ageplayers, feederism, ed blogs, any blogs that have anything to do with weight loss/gain, fat fetishists, chasers, inc3st, pro-cop, terfs, maps + nomaps, pro-shippers, racists, race-play, freaks or bigots of any kind. all of these things will result in an immediate block.
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angeltrapz · 3 years
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oosdkk dude im sorry ur mood dropped too.. i hope u feel better soon <3 but like i wld love 2 hear more abt ur thoughts on Art in general bc Boy Is He Interesting, and also a lil more abt Daniel coming out as nonbinary to his dad (whether he knows Eric is trans or not at that moment skjdfhdskf)! + if ur feelin it just more abt Mallick in general ESP cuz we agree that Brit doesn't make it thru V
djhfjdks thank u sm <3
okay Art first. I genuinely wonder abt him so much, something in specific I think abt is that aside frm Amanda (+ Eric, obviously, but talkin abt disciples) Art is one of the only trap victims EVER 2 be tested twice and it’s like... what’s that abt? Why? as u’ve said b4 it rly depends on how you personally view his character: whether he’s a disciple or not. fr me, both options are equally plausible, n honestly I don’t rly confine myself to either; it sorta depends on what I’m feeling/writing. if we’re talking abt art being a disciple, then the Spinecutter not going off (one of my BIGGEST questions) makes total sense, as Hoffman’s side of the trap was never set up to work either, + Jigsaw disciples have a history (aside from Lawrence) of appearing as victims in other tests/traps. if he were not just another pawn and was in fact a disciple himself, then the Spinecutter was never meant to go off - it was there just to make Eric think it COULD go off/make it look convincing to outsiders. which brings me to ANOTHER question: what does Art know abt Eric? does he know anything? what does he think of Eric?
(lil side note: if Art is a disciple, then I kinda wonder if it’s a lil bit of a Hoffman + Lawrence situation where Hoffman didn’t know abt Art either? just bc he looks so shocked when he sees Art’s face fully fr the first time... that could’ve just been acting on Hoffman’s part but IDK. food fr thought)
personally, I feel like Art probably does know a lil bit abt Eric - at the very least, he’d know tht Eric had been previously tested + failed by John’s rules, but then I feel that he wld also know Eric didn’t rly have a chance in his second test. that is why Art trying so fucking hard to keep Eric alive is interesting 2 me: what is his motivation 2 do that? like he’s been told Eric’s basically just there to get Rigg to participate, he doesn’t have any personal obligation or anything like that. sure, the aim is to keep Eric alive + see if Rigg can pass his “test,” but nobody said anything about grabbing a man you barely know around his ankles to keep him frm hanging himself w a noose made of chains. nobody said anything abt speaking to him so softly, not even raising your voice beyond saying “hey,” and asking him do you understand? when you tell him to keep still and prevent him frm killing his counterpart (which, if Art is a disciple, he knows it won’t, but he still speaks to Eric so softly, so compassionately, doesn’t he?)
nobody said anything abt grabbing him around the waist and steadying him again after being punched by said man. but Art does that. he stabilizes Eric’s feet on the ice as best he can and he keeps his hips straight and he basically says “look, we’re all stuck here, you need to keep it together ‘til that clock counts down if you want us to live, but I’m giving you a choice,” and he presses the gun w the single bullet into Eric’s hands and tells him it’s up to him. nobody said Art had to care but he does, I think, and it’s just like. he really didn’t have to keep Eric alive over the course of Rigg’s test. he didn’t. but he did and I just,, where does it come from? why does he care? this is even going beyond the fact that we’ve talked abt them being together after their test in a scenario where they both survive - I just think that Art at his core is a very stubborn but very compassionate person, whether he wants 2 be or not. like he HAS to know that kind of involvement cld prove to be extremely detrimental but he cares. I feel like that says a lot abt him (even if he does call Eric an asshole a couple times while doing it,,).
plus I also just. I think his reason for being tested (as it seems to be in most cases) is extremely flimsy. he was doing his job. he’s a LAWYER. often times it has nothing 2 do w personal feelings; they’re there to do their job and sometimes, unfortunately, that is defending possibly reprehensible people (in cases like Rex’s & Ivan’s). + John was already upset w him regarding their argument abt the urban renewal group so like it just feels So Very Petty, y’know?? even in the scenario where he IS a disciple, testing him twice seems entirely like John having a personal vendetta against him. Amanda is the only other person to be tested twice aside from Eric, so like. what. is that abt Mr. Kramer.
like I’ve said b4 in dms one could argue that Art is grey morally, bc we never rly see anything of him outside of flashbacks + acting as a test controller in IV, esp given that he... rly doesn’t seem too bothered abt it all? which is fair. but I also feel like the concern he shows towards Eric is smth to be considered as well.
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+ YESS NONBINARY DANIEL I know I’ve mentioned it b4 but for reference, I read Daniel as masc nonbinary (he/they)! so I feel like Daniel wld b pretty comfortable w his identity, he’s never rly had a reason not to be (it’s rly anyone’s guess here tho bc we never see Eric + Daniel + Kate... as a family unit, for obvious reasons), so I feel like he’s vry chill abt it? and in the scenario where Eric survives n is dating Adam, I feel like Daniel wld talk 2 him abt it first (Adam is an adult they quickly come to trust + he’s vocal abt being trans himself so there’s that added layer of understanding - other than his mom maybe Adam might b the first person they come out 2). they’re just kinda like “so I wanna tell my dad I’m nonbinary but like I’ve literally never thought abt coming out what do I do” and Adam’s just like. Aha. bc he knows Eric is Also Trans so like, he doesn’t tell Daniel that bc it’s not his info to share, but he’s definitely like “oh it’ll totally be fine. trust me you have no reason to worry” so Daniel’s just like Okay. I Got This
+ I know I mentioned this in dms but Daniel wld absolutely wear those floral ripped hem skirts over jeans, so I feel like on one of his visits to his dad’s, he just. wears that combined w a completely random niche graphic tee he bought when shopping w Adam (I adore this hc n I am Holding Onto It) n is just like. not super open abt it bc he doesn’t know what to expect? he just kinda waits fr Eric to comment on it but when he doesn’t, Daniel gets nervous n is like “do I look okay?” and Eric’s rly chill abt it, like “yeah! it looks vry cool, vry alternative.” n like Daniel is relieved, of course, but also he’s just like God Pls Say Something so he just comes out w it like “okay this is not working. I’m nonbinary.”
and he’s COMPLETELY SHOCKED when Eric is just like “oh why didn’t u say so? do u have a different name u wanna go by? is Daniel still okay?” bc he wasn’t sure how much Eric knew, so he’s just like “uh no Daniel is still good, he/they pronouns though” and Eric’s just like alright cool but internally Daniel’s just like ??????
n THAT is when Eric asks him 2 come sit out on th front steps w him n is just like. “I don’t think I ever told u this but I’m trans. I transitioned during training in my early 20s” n Daniel is nodding while internally he’s like Adam I’m gonna throttle u. he worked himself up fr NOTHING. he just kinda laughs abt it and Eric is like “are u good?” ‘cause he’s a lil worried but then Daniel just smiles and is like “yeah I’m fine! just realizing I had nothing 2 be worried abt” and it’s a rly good moment fr them. they sit out there together talking abt their experiences for quite a while n at some point Adam steps outside 2 find them deep in conversation + he just smiles n goes back inside bc he cares abt them both so much and seeing them talk like that makes him so 💞💞 (Eric is SO PROUD u can see it on his face)
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ohhh gosh Mallick,,, I spend a lot of time thinking abt him actually. he’s just one of those characters I feel vry connected to (me 🤝 Mallick: Ambiguous Disorder 💕) n one I got surprisingly attached to? hello (he IS one of my f/os)
I feel like Mallick is a very lonely person at his core. the way he sort of clings to Brit (w out the whole like. adrenaline of being in very very real danger w ppl trying to kill u SEVERAL TIMES) somewhat confirms this fr me. this is someone who has no reason to look out fr him, no reason to keep protecting him when their fellow captives hit him over th head w a club or attempt to push him into a bathtub to ELECTROCUTE him, but she keeps doing it and he’s just. in awe of it a little bit? ‘cause she could just let Charles knock him tf out or let Luba push him in but she fights for him, some1 she has no obligation to n met fr the first time literally when they woke up.
the moment they share b4 they stick their arms into the saws to activate the 10 Pints of Sacrifice is so very vulnerable and maybe even a little tender. yes he calls her a monster, yes she calls him one back, neither of them deny it. it’s an admission and an acceptance. they’re monsters, sure, fine, okay. but they are monsters and they are in this together. Brit tells Mallick it’s okay when he says he can’t do this alone. she says okay, okay, it’s okay, we’ll go together. and they help each other secure their tourniquets and they stick their hands in together bc it’s the two of them, literally hand in hand, fighting for their lives n for each other n they’re in so so much pain but they are doing it TOGETHER. I lose it thinking abt it!!! they even have a head bonk moment!!! I very much feel like it has some cinematic parallels to Adam & Lawrence’s moment in SAW 2004!!!!
+ as u mentioned, we both share the thought that Brit likely died since she wasn’t present at Bobby’s meetings, and. I want to touch on how fucking despondent and lost Mallick looks when we see him again in 3D. lights on but no one’s home. I feel like for Mallick, losing Brit was losing the first chance at a real connection he’s had in god knows how long - and for him, that’s just very shattering. he’s been thru hell, he’s watched three people die right in front of him, he sawed his ARM IN HALF, n the person he went through all of that with didn’t make it. but he did. and I feel like for Mallick that’s just like... he doesn’t understand it. but he feels even lonelier than he ever has b4 because the One Person who was there w him thru it all, the one person who could ever possibly understand what happened that night, is gone.
the Mallick we see in V would NEVER sit down n willingly listen to Bobby Dagen’s bullshit abt loving yr scars n taking pride in the fact u survived. he wld hate that man with a passion n I am very much sure of this. the fact that he’s sitting in that chair looking numb and glassy-eyed and silent? Mallick is trying to find some1 to connect to, find a place where maybe he belongs. trying to fill that hole that losing Brit made. why else wld he be sitting there, listening to someone he would ordinarily tell to shove his self-love bullshit up his ass? he’s lost. he’s just trying to keep his head above water and find a way to shore even though everything in him is fighting not to. he’s adrift without her.
+ ALTERNATIVELY, bc the reality of that is just. crushing n maybe not where I needed 2 go, in the scenario where Brit survived + just doesn’t want to put up w Bobby’s bullshit, I imagine them to actually move in together after a lil bit of time getting 2 know each other better w out the pressure of “oh god we’re gonna die.” she kinda helps him build up a sense of self-worth bc GOD it’s practically non-existent n thinking abt possible reasons why makes me sad. she’s definitely just like “no, you do deserve to be cared for and you deserve help when you need it, you deserve good things n to be happy.” she just kinds shuts it down while still making sure to talk 2 him abt WHY he feels that way (she’s not dismissing, but she’s trying to nip it in th bud) n Mallick is just like. huh. bc no one’s really done that fr him before. but it rly does end up helping in the long run, even if it is a very slow pace toward actually getting 2 a place where he recognizes his own worth + realizes he deserves all the things he wants Brit 2 have too. they’re there for each other thru thick n thin and if they made it thru their game, they can make it thru anything.
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illnessfaker · 3 years
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[ cw: f-slur, rape mention ]
no reblogs pls. this is a long vent.
haha not to be a hysterical faggot crippled shut-in freak or anything but the way ppl talk abt the defensiveness around the f-slur that some gay/bi male users (and some transfem users) on here as if it's some kind superiority pissing contest thing and not primarily about...respecting the boundaries and experiences of those gay/bi male (and transfem) users. like...being on this site as a fag-adjacent person (i say that half-jokingly because it sounds silly on one hand but on the other that's the most accurate descriptor of my gender identity, lol) is becoming increasingly draining and upsetting with how "progressive" homophobia against gay/bi men is apparently becoming, like, a meme among lgbtq people and that's acceptable somehow bc lgbtq people aren't cishets or because it's "only online" and therefore doesn't matter.
like idgaf abt ppl who aren't gay/bi men (or transfem) using the f-slur in every single context possible. if they're affectionately referring to their gay/bi male (or transfem) friends with that word (so long as said friends are comfortable with it) that's one thing. who cares. i even rb'd something where a cis butch (iirc) lesbian was talking about a gay man she knew who she was affectionatly calling a faggot and the things she said warmed my heart. if they're throwing it around at every opportunity or using it as an edgy insult against random strangers on the internet, that's another. the users on here who do the latter also regularly display behavior that like...shows a pretty clear disdain for gay/bi men (or transfem ppl) not apart of their online or "irl" circlejerks and echo chambers, and that is in no way disconnected from their love of using the f-slur, lol.
the "it's only online and so it's unimportant uwu go outside" thing also really feels like such a spit in the face as someone who both lives in a rural area full of cishet white men with guns that might try to kill me if i walked out of the house in drag (not to mention i live with my bf and his family and his parents are homophobes themselves i'm sure), and is also someone with health issues that usually keep me at home and in bed when i'm not working. i didn't always live here but even in my hometown the only "lgbtq space" i had was the high school GSA which didn't do shit other than the day of silence and was attended by people i did not feel safe around (e.g. my ex-friend who was very emotionally manipulative and ended up raping someone.) i don't have any other lgbtq spaces to go to other than online ones. if i never joined tumblr i might still be a self-hating cishet girl, or i might be dead, who knows. like, i've accepted at this point that personhood isn't something i'm allowed in (outside of my whiteness) so fuck me i guess if we need to but the idea that other young, impressionable, and/or traumatized lgbtq people who only can meet other lgbtq people and learn about lgbtq things online for whatever reason don't deserve to have us make an effort on cultivating internet spaces that are as accessible and safe for them as possible, or that their experiences and feelings are somehow unimportant is just...vile. like ofc not everyone needs to "pander" to "logged on" disabled fags like myself maybe but if you have any kind of large following on social media maybe consider that the things you say and do on said social media have like...an actual effect on other people instead of pretending that it's "just online" and therefore consequences for your actions either don't matter enough (to you personally) or somehow don't exist.
but going back to the fag thing, most popular lgbtq tumblr users on my dash i see nowadays just...simply do not give a shit whatsoever about gay/bi men, to the point they're normalizing "progressive" and "acceptable" homphobia against us bc they've convinced themselves due to the bigotry some gay/bi men (often cis, white, and wealthy mind you) exhibit we are "the cishets of the lgbtq community," despite horrific violence still being committed against us every day and despite other lgbtq people being capable of engaging in that violence themselves. ppl make thinly veiled jokes and memes where the punchline is men having sex with each other or effeminacy as if those things aren't primary avenues for gay/bi men being abused, assaulted, and killed (including acts of abuse and assault of a sexually-driven nature), as if said jokes and memes don't serve to normalize the mentalities that drive homophobic hate crimes. it's not like...a coincidence that most lgbtq people who makes these jokes aren't gay/bi men (or transfem). this doesn't even get into how things like homophobia and anti-effeminacy can pretty much boot certain gay/bi men from manhood...or womanhood...or any place in gender altogether.
call me exlusionary if you want but i think it's fair to say that the chances of people who aren't gay/bi men (or transfem*) facing the repurcussions of those mentalities in any meaningful way, the chances of these people actually having lived as or going to live as "faggots" is any meaningful sense is slim to none, and that's why they're so comfortable participating in this shit, and that's why i'm triggered(tm) by them "reclaiming" faggot (which doesn't really involve reclamation bc calling random strangers on the internet or gay/bi men you hate a slur isn't reclamation you morons), because frankly if you're not apart of either of those groups, you're just not a fucking faggot. it's not your word just because some rando on overwatch called you it for picking hanzo in comp. period. end of story. it's also just extremely absurd to try and claim faggotry as something you experience while...readily and happily engaging in homophobia and fag-hate (which isn't synonymous with the former term but i'm talking abt ppl who probably seldom ever engage which discussions and theory surrounding how homophobia instrumentates itself in society - or at least that which doesn't conform to their worldview). within the gay/bi male community there's plentu of masc "straight-acting" gays who weaponize this shit against fem gays and they (should) get held accountable in the same way. you're not special.
and god, being told my gendered experiences as a fag-adjacent person where (white) cafab women are fully capable of engaging in social forms of "oppression" against me and other fags in undeniably gendered ways is somehow an outlier and therefore not reflective of broader social by (white) masc urbanite tbros with definitively more social standing than i'll ever have in my life, as if i somehow developed this understanding of gendered violence just based off my own life and not...the reported and sometimes even recorded experiences of countless other fags who get mocked and silenced because anything that deviates from a watered down, shoddy cis feminist take on gender is fake news(tm) or bordering on saying misandry exists (like no it doesn't exist but acting as if homophobic shit like anti-sodomy laws, for example, has zero to do with gay/bi men's manhood is just nonsensical). convos on here abt gender being mostly dominated by (white) cafab women or sometimes (white) masc trans guys is such a mistake lmao.
anyway i'm tired and stressed and pretty done with having "acceptable" homophobic shit shoved in my face on a daily basis both online and offline but nevertheless i must persist because i'm not lucky enough to have anywhere else to go, really. just...think critically abt ur actions regarding gay/bi male sexuality and gender-stuff pretty please. please.
( *disclaimer just in case that i definitely don't see transfems as some "type" of gay/bi men. there are transfems who identify with gay/bi manhood and/or faggotry. there are transfems who don't. that's entirely up to them. thank u. )
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lesakuraciel · 5 years
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trans ask game!
original by @solareclipselgbt
1.) what’s your gender and pronouns?
nb and they/them!
2.) what does your name mean (either literally, or to you personally)
i don't feel a particular connection to my birth name, though it is based off anna karenina (it's anna corinne), but i've been toying w the idea of going by ashe... obv it's based on the tree but to me it means walking through a dappled forest near the end of winter, timeless and strange and perfect
3.) when and how did you realize you were trans?
not entirely sure, def after i figured out i wasn't straight(which was aug. 2016), but as far as accepting my place under the /trans/ flag (i knew i was nb, but was still hesitant bc of the people against enbys iding as trans), that didn't happen until like. end of last year,
4.) what was the most helpful in figuring out and accepting yourself as trans?
my trans friends definitely!! and also doing a report on enbys in the trans community, and subsequently finding what, the white stripe means, i still have trouble asking people who already know me to use they/them though,, (i still say she/her is fine even though it's kinda not)
5.) have you or do you plan on medically transitioning?
i do plan to get top surgery! and soon, hopefully!!! other than that, i eventually want a hysterectomy, but no hrt
6.) what’s something you’re most looking forward to in your transition (or something that was your favorite part of transitioning)?
no! boobs! i hate them!! and not having to wear extra layers (read: binder) in summerr
7.) do you have dyed hair?
sjsjsnd yea it's dark blue right now don't think /that's/ natural lmao i even have The Haircut (tm)
8.) who was the first person you came out to (or plan to come out to)?
i'm pretty sure it was my good friend henry!! i mean, he also basically told me i wasn't straight cause i wouldn't admit it :'>
9.) what’s your favorite season?
fall!! so many pretty colors and finally, appropiate weather for the jackets i wear year-round,
10.) have you ever been to pride?
yep! i went to pride for the first time in tacoma last year!! (plan to go to the seattle one this year)
11.) if you’re on hrt, what changes suprised you the most?
not on hrt!
12.) what gives you the most gender euphoria?
oh being called "sir" definitely, and a xloae second is when strangers use they/them to refer to me!
13.) do you have a specific piece of clothing thats especially gender affirming to you?
hmm i mean my binder obv but other than that, certain shirts when i bind? idk they just Do(tm)
14.) what’s your favorite trans joke or meme?
friend who is very comfortable in their identity: talks abt someone not realizing and being transphobic around them/other people not knowing how trans things work/etc.
(sarcasm) wow i can't believe you're really a cishet
15.) if you’ve had any gender affirming surgeries, how was your experience? what are the biggest positive effects?
not had surgery yet, but kaiser permanante has been great so far in working w me !!!
16.) do you have any piercings?
haha just one in each ear, and i basically never use those
17.) who’s your favorite trans character? or do you have any characters you headcanon as trans?
we stan lup from taz in this house
other than that, i hc a lot of characters as trans! e.x. bakugo, todoroki, and kirishima (bnha), snufkin (moomins), indrid and angus (taz), and like, a lot more,,
18.) what do you wish other people understood better about being trans?
just. it's okay to ask pronouns. god
better to ask than to assume
also use context clues, jesus (like if someone isn't out, they may switch to a diff name for some people. never use it unless they ask you to)
19.) top 5 fav songs?
bohemian rhapsody - queen
oi - carbon leaf
light in the hallway - ptx
ocean city - anthony ramos (this isn't anywhere but soundcloud but it's So Good???? go listen)
wait for it - hamilton soundtrack
20.) what advice would you give your younger self?
you can be more assertive about being trans, most people are good abt it and those who aren't can learn or fuck right off
21.) do you have any pets?
yep! my baby, friend
and my doggo, kody!
22.) do you find yourself fitting into gender roles, or consider yourself gender non-conforming?
def gnc!! i like to be androgynous, whixh usually means wearing masc clothes bc i still present fem, somehow,
23.) are you part of your schools gsa or any lgbt organizations?
nope! i prefer to make friends by just chatting, and they usually end up being non-cishwt anyhow lmao
24.) any trans role models?
not really tbh, i see a lot of people that i want to emulate, but i can't think of any in particular atm.
now that i think abt it though, my friend henry has been a sort of guiding light in figuring out, accepting, and then loudly proclaiming my identity, bc i've def come a long way since sophomore year! (if you're reading this, thank u henry)
25.) did you go through multiple gender identities before figuring out your gender now?
yep! i id'ed as genderflux very shortly, then demigirl for a long time, and finally nb/genderqueer!
26.) what makes you most proud to be part of the trans community?
it's so positive and uplifting!! i love that people are just, kind to others that's v nice
27.) favorite movie growing up?
princess bride was and is my favorite movie, but mulan was my fav disney movie and well, if that was someone's fav movie and they ended up cishet? i'd be surprised
28.) if you went by multiple names before deciding your current name, which was the first?
n/a
29.) do you have any pride merch or pride related tattoos?
i have a rainbow flag (handheld) on my bookshelf, and a genderqueer one behind my bed (big)! i also have a trans flag shawl that i made, pan flag converse, several pride shirts, and a pride hat! i'm not shy about letting everyone know i'm neither straight nor cis lmao
30.) if you experience dysphoria, what do you find helps you the most?
binding definitely helps! i get mild dysphoria wearing anything other than a binder or sports bra, and also on my period :/
31.) do you have any siblings, friends, or family who are also trans?
@dorkryptos is my friend and so is henry!! none of my family is though ):
32.) which gender roles or cis beliefs do you find most ridiculous?
nail polish is feminine?? deodorant and razors are gendered???? flowy things are feminine????? guys can't have style beyond Tux(tm)????????????????? fuck all that noise
35.) if cis people didn’t exist for a day, what would you do?
33.) how did you decide on your current name?
go out and make some new friends! ^^
34.) do you fit any trans stereotypes?
i have dyed hair and That haircut, i'm fairly short and afab, i mostly wear ""masc"" clothes, i'm in high school, etc. etc.
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ahah, i didn't? but w ashe i wanted smthn with the same initial, old-timey, and connected to nature
only like, every single trans nb stereotype,
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slime-enby · 5 years
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side note tht nb person who was offering tht scale as an alternative to masculine n feminine terms wasn’t sayin ‘twink = fem n bear= masc’ they were talking abt how using terms like twink n bear n butch n femme to talk about yourself to some nb ppl has an effect tht (mis)genders the self n can make nb ppl uncomfortable. Like, i used to be uncomfy calling myself a bear not cuz i thought tht the term meant i was masculine in expression, but because its a term used to refer to men n i’m not one of those. Individual nb ppl wanting to find language tht doesnt necessitate tht they do this isn’t a bad thing
But also to answer a point, yes nb ppl feel LOADS of pressure to do this all the time! even in nb circles there’ll b nb ppl like me who feel somewhat of a comfort with calling themselves male or female associated things, cis n trans gay ppl who rightfully might feel comfortable calling themselves these things, n often very few other nb ppl to connect to who’s answers to ‘what should we do with this kind of thing but in a gender neutral way?’ isn’t going to be answered by just picking a gendered thing or going with sterile medical language. And along the way so many nonbinary people who feel just fine calling themselves men n women make fun of the words tht have been chosen (enby, for example) with no real contribution that makes the nb ppl looking for language they like more to have virtually nothing. We need to do better by ALL nonbinary people, literally with everything we do. We need to do better to ask ourselves if we’re the actual group of nb ppl for whom the language we decide to mock is for. We need to do better in gay communities to remember tht nb ppl are our siblings and when there’s a clear need in the language they want to develop to relate to us n be a part of us tht it doesn’t come from a place where they think gay ppl are evil, but we should show compassion n work with them to develop language tht can help them understand themselves in a society tht fucks us over
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