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littlemisskookie · 6 years

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Four Letters: Ch 10

Four Letters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Ship: FWB!Jungkook | IceQueen!Reader | Yoongi Description: College!AU. Enemies to Lovers. Your icy exterior makes it seem as though you dislike everyone- which is partially true. But the one person you truly dislike is the cocky frat boy Jeon Jungkook. Warnings: Angst, Creampie, Fingering, Grinding, Intercourse, FLUFF, Dirty Talk, Degrading Names, Praise Kink, Blowjob, Deep Throating, Breathplay, Ass-Play Word Count: 10k

You had just finished getting dressed when you heard the door unlock, Jimin and Hoseok barging in. The two had quickly swung open the door, grinning from ear to ear, despite the fact they were tense, as though bracing themselves for impact. You feel your body go tight as you see the two of them, and you curse internally, wishing that they had waited even ten minutes later for Jungkook to say what you so desperately needed to hear. Even if it ended with you crumbled and broken, crying on the floor, you wanted the closure.

"Did you talk? Is everything good?" Hoseok asked, glancing between the two of you. You could see his grin grow even bigger as he noticed your slightly disheveled appearances.

You wanted to open your mouth and tell them that they were a bit too soon, but Jungkook pushed past. "Yeah, everything's good. See you later, Y/N," he said quickly, moving quickly between Jimin and Hoseok as he escaped the room.

Jimin frowned, looking to you. Your clothes were in order, but there was still the unmistakable stench of sex filling up the room. Your hair was messed up, lips swollen, and probably a thousand other indicators that you hadn't accounted for. Not to mention the messed up bed behind you. "I thought that everything went well- I mean, you-"

"I don't want to talk about it," you hastily say, your eyes wandering back to the door where Jungkook escaped through. "And he didn't either, apparently."

Hoseok's smile dropped. "Oh, Y/N, I'm so sorry. Jungkook's an idiot sometimes."

"Did you or did you not sleep together, though?" Jimin asked. "I'm so confused."

You facepalm, running your hand over your face. "Yes- we had sex Jimin. But the thing is you can't exactly talk about serious shit when you're having sex- not exactly easy."

"Alright, alright, no need to bite," Jimin says defensively, his arms held up in an 'I surrender' pose. "Should we drag him back here and lock you guys together for another hour?"

"No, it's fine. That was an asshole move, but you had good intentions. Don't do it again though," you huff, crossing your arms. "Look, he can't run away from the situation forever. I'll... I'll talk to him properly the next time the opportunity comes up."

"You sure you don't want our help?" Hoseok asks, sympathetic. His eyes are soft, and his foot cocks towards the door, as though if you were to say the word he'd run after Jeon and drag him by the ear to finally confront you. You had no doubt that Hoseok would do nearly anything at this point. In a sense, though, their form of help somewhat reminded you of how Dobby tried to help Harry in The Chamber of Secrets- and you were reminded of what a massive fucking nerd you were.

"To be frank, I never want it again."

Taehyung would be leaving for the military today.

It was weird to think about. This would be his last day in town before he'd be adorned in the classic camo uniform and doing his country a service overseas. Picturing the boyfriend you had in high school becoming a member of the army was scary to think about- it wasn't exactly what you had envisioned. Then again, your future plans had been wildly skewed off the path you had prepared. You weren't petty over it anymore, though. Taehyung and Yuha had changed you into the person you were today- but you had learned to like that person even more than your previous self now.

Maybe it was because of that fact that you found yourself waiting for them in the airport before they had to go through security or get checked.

"Y/N? What're you doing here?" Yuha questioned, her face puzzled.

You had thought about this for so, so long. You had stayed bitter and angry with her, holding a grudge over words she said that had changed you. You became cold and distant, and all of your blame had been solely shifted to her.

But you realized something.

What she did was inexcusable. There was no doubt about that. Sure, she was undeniably in love with your boyfriend, making a stupid decision when she was a teenager. There were plenty of people who were in that sort of situation and managed to control themselves instead of belittling every trait of a person's personality.

However, the point was that she had grown. She had tried desperately to make things right and apologized profusely. She was as much of a changed woman as you were now, and you knew that you couldn't have a peace of mind if you were dwelling over the past. The teenage Yuha was dead, and before you stood one who was taking into account her previous actions, correcting them and fully understanding the impact of them.

If you were to stay bitter for the rest of your life, you'd be extremely unhappy. You had a feeling that you didn't want to be unhappy forever. A single moment in your teenage years shouldn't dictate your happiness or well-being for the rest of your adulthood- it was only sad that it took this long for you to realize that.

"It's your last day in town. I figured since I don't know when we'll meet again it'd be best to make amends sooner than later," you shrugged. "Closure is good for your health or something like that."

Tears filled up in Yuha's eyes, and before you knew it she threw herself at you, clutching onto you tightly as she dropped her bags to hug you. You could feel some of her fast-falling tears hit your shoulder. "Thank you," she whispered, her voice tight. "Thank you thank you thank you."

It felt unfamiliar, but slowly you exhaled, finally letting go of your wound up breath to hug her back, in a single movement letting the history between the two of you move on, as though it were a silent gesture of forgiveness.

Yuha finally let's go of you, wiping the tears off her cheeks quickly as she gives you a breathy smile. "I hope we can become friends someday," she says softly. You knew from the look in her eye that she was acting completely genuinely, as though she were already playing a film in her mind of the two of you conversing pleasantly and enjoying each other's prescence. Hell, she held your hair when you were blackout drunk and puking your guts out- in a sense you were already there.

"Maybe," you say, tugging at the corners of your lips. You wondered if Tae hadn't been around and you and Yuha met prior if the two of you would've ended up being friends. She reminded you of the girls in a sense.

You turn to Tae, who looks pleased with the scene before him, as though his heart had swelled up with so much joy he couldn't bring himself to open his mouth, afraid that so much as parting his lips would ruin the moment. You pull him in, embracing him as you hug him tightly.

"Stay safe, ok?" you say. "She'll depend on you."

"I will," he promised, grinning warmly to you, his own eyes shiny with tears.

"You'll do great. You'll make our country proud, her proud, and me proud," you tell him, feeling your own voice grow tight.

Taehyung's face is stony as he feels a tear land on his cheek, and you reach up, wiping it away with your thumb.

"Thank you for the good memories and for being there at my low points when you could. It meant a lot to me, and it's because of how much I know you truly care, how big your heart is and how empathetic you can be... That's why I forgive you," you tell him. "I'll cherish not the moments you were a boyfriend to me, but when you were a friend."

"I'm gonna miss you so much, Y/N," Taehyung says, hugging you tightly once more, burying his face into your hair, as though trying to remember the feeling of your presence once more before he was bound to never see you again for a long, long time.

"I'll miss you too, Tae," you say honestly, choking at your own words. You let him slip from your grasp, both figuratively and literally letting him go once and for all, letting him go into the arms of the one he was really destined to be with. "I hope we see each other again."

Yuha smiled softly, tears rolling down her cheeks as she clasped her hand with Tae's. "Goodbye, Y/N."

You nodded, eyes brimmed with tears despite yourself as you waved goodbye, slowly turning around and finally walking away with a smile on your face.

"Hey, Yoongi," you greet, walking up to him. He had a box beside his desk where he usually made his music. His computer equipment was already dismantled. You were puzzled, looking at the boy with a confused expression. "What're you doing?"

"Oh, I'm, uh, leaving," Yoongi said bluntly, looking to you.

You looked at him in alarm. "What? As in quitting? Why though?" You frowned with worry. "Is this because of what happened between us?" Immediately you felt guilt eat at your core, and you felt so ashamed and embarrassed. You had humiliated the boy and strung him along, only to dump him. You regretted not breaking things off earlier, simply too dumb to admit your feelings to yourself.

"What? No, not at all," Yoongi assured you. "Trust me, it has nothing to do with you. I've been planning this for a while, actually."

"Oh," you said, though still slightly skeptical. "Why're you leaving, then?"

"Well, you know that podcast I had to help out with a few months ago?" he questioned.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Well, they've got an available position for a host since the other guy quit, and they offered me the position. I also figured that since Namjoon got here, I haven't exactly done much. You two are the ones who do all the work around here- I just stay here and work on my music. It's not fair to you two if I don't contribute."

You frown at that. "Don't say that- you're an equal addition."

"Maybe- but this job doesn't require much more than two people anyway. Namjoon knows how to do everything, I left this place in good hands," Yoongi says. "And don't worry- we're good."

"You sure?" you question nervously. "I still really want to be friends with you, Yoongi."

"I do, too. Who else will tolerate listening to my shitty drafts?"

The two of you share a grin at that.

"So, I'll see you around then?" you question as Yoongi finishes packing his box.

He stands up, nodding. "Definitely. I'll probably still see you around the frat house, anyway."

It feels weird, seeing the person who had worked in the studio since before you even got there, simply walking out of the door. The person you worked alongside, who you had developed a crush of sorts on. You supposed it had to happen eventually, but it wasn't exactly what you had envisioned. It was hard for you to imagine Yoongi anywhere else except his natural spot in the corner, with bulky headphones on his ears as he tapped his foot along to whatever beat he was making. You were missing the sight already.

"He really wasn't mad, you know," Namjoon says from behind you. You turn around to look at the man, the headphones hanging loosely around his neck. "Yoongs is pretty understanding- one of the best things about him. He's a lot better than most guys."

"Yeah," you sigh, slightly deflated as you walk towards him. "He really is."

"You don't have to feel bad," Namjoon tells you. "He knows you made the right decision. You shouldn't be with someone if you have feelings for someone else, y'know?"

"Yeah, I know. I just feel guilty, I suppose. As though in some way it was supposed to be him," you mumble. "You said it yourself- he's better than most guys. He was basically the best guy I could find- perfect for me in a sense. He was sensitive, caring, patient- but..."

"Sometimes you don't need a person who's perfect for you- you need someone who will help make you into a more perfect you," Namjoon says. "Sorry, my words sound jumbled. That probably doesn't make any sense."

"No, it makes sense," you clarify. "Thanks, Namjoon."

Namjoon shrugs. "No problem. You're gonna have to deal with me for the rest of University anyway, so we'll have plenty of time to get to know each other."

"Good luck dealing with me, then," you laugh.

"Y/N?" The quiet voice was followed with a creak from your door, the dim light from the hallway seeping into your pitch black room. You grumbled, rolling over onto your stomach as you ignored Lisa's usual creeping. She closed the door behind her, lifting up her sheets as she climbed into bed with you. You groaned, rolling over on your back as she snuggled against you.

"I can't sleep," she whispered.

"Really? I thought you were sleeping like a baby," you grumble sarcastically, rubbing at your sleep-filled eyes. You were becoming all too adjusted to your liking of having Lisa sleep next to you. You supposed it was the sort of thing best friends did, however. Next thing you knew, the two of you would be signing a blood oath saying that if neither of you was settled down by forty, you'd get married. Truth be told that didn't sound that bad- you'd have someone to split rent with, at least.

"I'm nervous," she said, letting out an exhale. Of course, she was- she was never here when she didn't have something on her mind. When she wasn't plagued with a million thoughts she'd be able to doze off peacefully- so it made sense that she was coming to you, as usual, to help clear her head. You would never tell her that you truly didn't mind.

"About what?" you asked, knowing that the sooner she elaborated the sooner you could catch up on your fruitless beauty sleep. Like it actually helped- you had bad skin and dark circles no matter how much sleep you got.

"Tomorrow- introducing Jin to everyone," Lisa murmured. Ah, yes. She was finally going to introduce her boyfriend to the rest of the crew at a frat party. He had gotten along perfectly along with you, and you were what you considered to be the worst of the bunch, to be frank. The rest would probably be a piece of cake. They were all pretty easy going- probably a bit more than usual since they'd be drunk off their asses at a frat party.

"It's a very social setting- a college party. I'm sure he'll be fine. Besides, they'll be too busy gawking at how pretty he is to really care about his personality," you mumble.

Lisa smacks your arm lightly, her way of silently scolding you. "What if he doesn't like them? What if they don't like him?"

"I'd be more concerned about Jimin attempting to steal your boyfriend- his bi ass will be all over Jin," you snort.

"What about Hoseok?" Lisa questions nervously. "I mean... I know that I said he'd have to deal with it- but he's still my friend. Despite our history, I still want him to get along with my boyfriend, y'know?"

"That's understandable. Do you want me to sugar coat it or tell you the brutally honest truth?"

"Knowing you, you'll say the brutally honest no matter what I choose," Lisa responds.

"The brutally honest truth is that it's extremely unlikely they'll be as buddy-buddy was you want them to be. Did you tell Jin about you and Hoseok?"

"Of course, there are no secrets between us," Lisa sighs. "That's what makes me nervous about any upcoming tension."

"I'm sure everything will be fine, Lisa. Jin's a gentleman- he won't start shit. And if everyone else likes him- which I don't doubt- Hoseok won't start anything either. At worst they'll tolerate each other," you explained. You didn't know Jin that well, but from what you could tell, he was nice. He valued his privacy, and more than anything, he valued Lisa. You knew better than to assume he'd do something to purposely upset Lisa. Lisa could be an idiot at times, but it wasn't like she had a horrible taste in men.

Even Hosoek was a good person. He was empathetic, and though he lacked common sense, he always had the best of intentions. He made a lot of stupid decisions, sure, but in the end, he was the friend that would always be there for you. He had empathy and was always there for people at their lowest, even if he didn't quite know the impact of his idiotic decisions. Still, he was a good person, inside and out.

There's a moment of silence. "Jungkook confirmed he was going to meet Jin as well," Lisa said hesitantly. "I know you two haven't talked yet."

"Yeah..." you say, the word let out in barely a whisper. You hadn't seen him since he ran out after Jimin and Hoseok barged in. You had the opportunity to run after him or get one of the boys to drag him back down, but you had decided against it. Knowing Jungkook, he needed some time alone to process what had just happened. Frankly, you did as well. Therefore, you needed to respect his boundaries.

"Are you going to talk to him finally?"

"I dunno. Maybe. It depends on how the night goes I suppose," you mumble, shifting uncomfortably under Lisa's weight. You needed to talk about Jungkook normally in order to prepare yourself for whatever happened between you two next.

"Do you still have feelings for him?" Lisa questions, glancing up at you as though to study your reaction. It's weird- in a sense, your situation with Jungkook mirrored hers with Hoseok. The girl had feelings for the boy, but it was a bit more complicated on the guy's side. He had reasons to hold himself back. Feelings were afraid to be shown due to the friends with benefits arrangement. Lisa and Hoseok didn't end up together, and you wondered if your situation with Jungkook would end along the same path. Sure, Lisa ended up happy, now with Jin. Hoseok didn't seem to be as merry in comparison, though. It was truly hypocritical of you to judge their relationship when you were in such a strikingly similar situation- but as you took a step back you could finally realize it.

"Yes," you answer immediately, not a doubt in your mind. Your feelings hadn't dulled since you realized them, even due to the complications along the way. Jeon Jungkook just seemed to have that effect on you.

"Do you love him?"

"I think it's kind of hard to say with someone who might not even like you back. One who you aren't even dating," you remind her. Was it possible to love someone you weren't dating? To be in love with them? Wouldn't that just count as infatuation? Or is it not an obligation for the person to feel the same way for the feelings to be there? It was a strange question, indeed.

"You two have been hooking up for like... what, six months now? More?" Lisa pondered the time since the infamous concert in her head. It probably had been more than six months, now that you thought about it. How time flies, strangely enough. "That's a pretty long time."

"I don't know what to tell you, Lisa. The situation's been a bit complicated since the beginning," you mumbled. "Hell, I hated the guy with all of my gut when it first happened."

It was so funny to think of. You would've given anything to rid Jeon Jungkook from your life- the obnoxious boy in your friend group who laughed maniacally at your expression when he said that he'd happily dive between your legs. If only he knew that over two years later he'd be doing exactly that.

Lisa begins to chuckle softly. "You would go on so many tangents about how infuriating he was. It's funny how you like the things that used to annoy you."

"I suppose it is," you shrug. "I guess the more you get to know the person, the more you appreciate the little things. It's the little things that make a big heart, I suppose." In order to love a person, you had to appreciate not only the parts you admired but the parts you hated in a sense. You had to like their habits no matter how annoying they were, all because it helped make the person.

"That's a pretty saying," Lisa yawned, her eyes closing, the lashes kissing the apples of her cheeks. She squeezes your waist a bit tighter.

"Are you going to sleep now?" you ask, your fingers twirling the locks of her hair absentmindedly.

"Mhm," she hums quietly, her eyes firmly closed now as she snuggles closer to you, adjusting herself to become comfortable. "G'night, Y/N."

"Night, Lisa."

The music was loud- blaring even. You were slightly buzzed enough where you didn't care, however, hanging out on the couch with the others. You leaned against Jimin, but your eyes flickered across from Xiyeon to Jungkook, who sat on the arm of the couch. This was the first time you saw him since you last tried and failed to confront him, and though you shouldn't have been at all surprised that he was here. After all, it was more or less an obligation for him to be here to meet Jin. He still noticeably avoided your gaze, as though he knew if you two were to so much as lock eyes, it'd be a downward spiral from then on.

You saw Hoseok tense as Lisa and Jin walked in, their hands clasped together as they approached your group. Lisa was grinning brightly, but Jin seemed to be nervous. He didn't seem nearly as wound up when he met you. Then again he was only meeting one person- now he was meeting four.

"Hi, guys! This is Jin!" Lisa shouted over the music. "Jin, baby, this is Jimin. Next to him is Y/N, you already met her, and then Xiyeon and Jungkook. And finally Hoseok."

Jin's gaze immediately flew to Hoseok, as though it finally clicked in his head that this was the guy who came along before him. He didn't let his staring linger for too long, however, grinning to the rest of you. "Nice to meet you all! Forgive me, it'll take me a little while to line faces up to names. I hope you can be patient."

"No problem," Xiyeon assured him, extending her hand for him to shake. He didn't hesitate to meet it. "I'm glad that Lisa found someone."

"She failed to mention how handsome you were though," Jimin grinned, swatting Xiyeon's hand away to shake Jin's hand. His brows wiggle as he smiles smugly. "Hi, I'm Jimin."

"Back off- he's mine," Lisa says teasingly, her tone playful, though everyone knew she was deadly serious as she was pulling Jin's hand away from Jimin's grasp. "Don't think I don't know what you're doing."

Jimin simply shrugs, eyes still trained firmly on the handsome man in front of him. "Had to give it a shot, didn't I?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Lisa laughs, rolling her eyes. She still threateningly stares daggers at the boy, attempting to stare him down, but Jimin simply smiles back, absolutely impenetrable.

"I'm gonna, um, get a drink," Hoseok interrupts, quickly departing from the group.

Your eyes trail after him, and you get up. "I'll come, too."

You don't give Hoseok time to protest, following him closely into the kitchen. The two of you got cans of beer. You knew Hoseok didn't want to go back to the party, the two of you stowed away in one of the quieter rooms in the frat house. Still, silence hung between you two as you awkwardly drank in front of one another.

You gave the man a sympathetic look, frowning at how glum he was. He wasn't nearly drunk enough to be this drunk and unenergetic. "He's nice."

Hoseok seems to snap out of his daze. "Who?"

"Jin. I said he's nice."

"I'm sure he is if Lisa's dating him," Hoseok mutters at your clarification, a tinge of bitterness in his voice. He takes a swig from his beer, and you quirk a brow at his tone.

"Are you upset? Do you not like Jin or something?" you inquired, easing into the topic.

"No, it's not that," Hoseok sighed, running his hand over his face. "It's just..."

"You could've been Jin," you put simply, speaking for what you thought he was thinking. You tried to imagine Hoseok and Lisa together- as in seriously together. Them acting lovey-dovey the way she and Jin did. Would they be a better couple than her and Jin? They certainly had a lot more history? Then again, there was a reason that they didn't work out. Then again, they didn't even try yet before it fell apart. That was the cruel irony of it all.

Hoseok bit his tongue, silent and broody, almost as though he were contemplating. "Maybe."

There's a pause between you two once more as you took in the information. You take a deep breath. "Do you regret it?" Both of you knew that there was no need for you to elaborate.

"Sometimes," Hoseok admits, his voice barely above a whisper, as though he were finally admitting it to himself as well. "I know why I did it- but sometimes I just wonder what would've happened if I took the chance."

Ah, how the tables have turned for unrequited feelings. The irony was all too easy to recognize.

"You know it's a bit too late for that, though, right?" you remind him quietly. You didn't mean to point out the obvious- truly, you didn't. You knew, however, that conversations could quickly turn on its head. The last thing you needed to give Hoseok was false hope- his big heart wouldn't be able to take it. You knew yours wouldn't be able to.

"I'm perfectly aware of that, Y/N," Hoseok says in an exasperated sigh. "But it's nothing I don't deserve, right?"

"Don't say that." You frown. Hoseok deserved happiness as much as anyone else. Sure, maybe he wouldn't be able to find that with Lisa. He lost his chances with her. But he deserved to find happiness regardless. Whether it be with family, friends, himself, or a future significant other. No one truly deserved unhappiness.

"It is, though. I tried to hold onto her without committing to her, knowing she'd still be there. I guess it never came to mind that she wouldn't always be mine and..." Hoseok stops there, feeling as though he said enough.

You stepped forward, rubbing his arm to comfort him, seeing how riled up he was getting over his inner turmoil. You could tell he had this pent up for quite a while, it seemed. "Alright, I'll admit- you were an ass," you say bluntly.

Hoseok rolls his eyes out of habit. You were simply stating the obvious, and you were known for being blunt, but you didn't blame him for yearning to hear something at least a bit more optimistic or lenient. You weren't very well known for that, however. "That's comforting."

"But," you interject, "you're not a bad person. You're my friend, and I know you. You were always there to cheer me up and encourage what was best for me, even if I didn't see it at the time. You were there to encourage me to go out and meet new people when I was at my lowest moments, and despite how shitty I acted, you still tried to cheer me up. That's a lot of patience, and that's a true friend. You deserve a happy story, too- but I think you missed your chance of having that with Lisa."

Hoseok pondered over your words before taking a deep breath. "You're probably right."

"I'm definitely right." You grin smugly, teasing him lightly as you elbow him, a small nudge to encourage him.

Hoseok smiles despite himself at your words. "Alright, fine, you're definitely right."

"There we go," you say, slugging him playfully in the arm. You try desperately to lighten the room, knowing that these deep sorts of conversations could easily become a downer. Discussing his failure with what could've been wasn't exactly the kind of conversation you wanted to have at a frat party, anyways. Usually, you just talk about what classes you're failing, who's hot and who's not, or student loans. "Do you think you'll be ok?"

"If she is with him, I'm sure I'll be as well," Hoseok confirmed with a sigh, the expression on his face showing utter defeat as he accepted the terms he had been given.

Your heart sunk at his words, but you weren't going to contribute to the situation. He knew he had his shot, and that he blew it. Now he'd have to live with the consequences. You linked arms with him comfortingly, seeing him force a grin on his face as the two of you made your way back to the group

Jin and Hoseok seemed to get along for the most part. Both were pleasant and conversed with one another. They were still rather tense, as though sizing the other one up in their head, their minds whirring as they tried to picture how the other was with Lisa. Speaking of the girl, her eyes never left the two, constantly flickering back and forth between the two men, slightly nervous. They were currently the most important boys in her life at the moment, it was only natural, although unlikely, that she wished they'd get along. Still, they were civilized.

Xiyeon spent most of her time interrogating him on what it was like to be a hand model and such. Was the pay good? What were the requirements? Did people ever randomly recognize your hands? What brands have you modeled for? How'd you start out? Did someone just randomly eye your hands and knew you were the one?

Jimin, on the other hand, was full on trying to flirt. Lisa had to do everything but beat him with a stick to make him cool it down a notch. The man was grinning and wiggling his brows the whole time through, and you could only snicker at the man, wondering to yourself what the reactions would be if you brought up the fact that Jimin used to have chlamydia a few months prior. You decided against it, however, knowing that you wouldn't be that big of an asshole.

Jungkook stayed quiet for the most part, conversing with Jin about classes and mundane topics. He even interrogated him a bit on music, automatically scrunching his nose when Jin mentioned a song in particular that you knew he absolutely despised.

Cute, you thought to yourself, seeing his nose wrinkle. You catch yourself, eyes flickering to Lisa, who grins smugly at catching you admiring Jungkook. You feel your cheeks flush, and you turn away, focusing back at the conversation at hand instead.

Still, you desperately yearned for the moment you'd be able to speak with Jungkook.

Your buzz remained consistent by the time you finally got the courage to confront Jungkook. Tugging at his shirt as you approached him from behind, he turned around to meet you.

"Are we gonna talk?" you shout over the music, your voice strained. You had no doubt there were eyes on you two again after what happened between you at the last party, but you couldn't care less. You were done with the embarrassment and caring about what other people thought of you. What did you have to be ashamed of?

Jungkook's face pales as he looks around the room, tensing up. "Not here."

He turns around as though to leave, but you quickly grab onto his arm, anchoring him back. "Jungkook!" you shout, making him stop. He looks at you with a confused expression, and your eyes soften. "Don't leave again," you plead.

Jungkook bites his lip, jaw clenching as he silently trods further away, the two of you making your way into a hallway. You scamper after him as you open a door, kicking the door behind you as you cross your arms.

The two of you stare at each other, not knowing who would be the one to break the silence.

You could hear the faint lyrics of an overplayed pop song, the words flowing in from the thin walls.

So baby pull me closer in the backseat of your rover,

That I know you can't afford

Pull the sheets right off the corner of the mattress that you stole

From your roommate back in Boulder.

You hissed. What stupid fucking lyrics. It sounded like they were describing some asshole instead of a love story. Seriously, what dick stole mattresses from their roommates? How indecent of a human being did you have to be to do such a shitty thing?

"I hate this song," you and Jungkook unanimously said, to both of your surprises. You find yourself grinning despite yourself, and Jungkook chuckles, the two of you lock eyes. Your similar tastes in music were what brought you two together in the first place, it figured that in this situation your distaste for the same music would contribute.

Your chuckles soon die down, and you're left to interact.

"You can't avoid me forever," you tell him quietly, the background music slightly muffled from behind the closed door. You could feel the vibrations from the wood you leaned against. Pity it had to be such a sucky pop song to set the already grim mood.

"I'm not avoiding you," Jungkook hastily says. You give him a pointed look, and he lets out a defeated sigh. "Well... I'm just nervous or something- that's all."

"What do you have to be nervous about? I'm the one who confessed," you remind him.

Jungkook sighs, running his hands over his hair as he walks to the bed, sitting down. "It's complicated."

"What's complicated?" you question, sitting next to him. "You like me or you don't. It's alright- I can handle rejection, Jeon. I've coped with the fact you don't like me back for... for weeks now. But I still want us to talk."

"I never said I didn't like you," Jungkook interjected quickly, his voice sharp.

You quirk a brow. "You ran away. I wouldn't exactly call that accepting someone's confession."

"No, I like you back, I do," Jungkook sighs.

You shake your head. "If you liked me back, why would you have rejected me? The constant apologizing and trying to get away from me as quickly as possible?"

"Because I don't deserve you!" Jungkook blurted out. He buries his head in his hands, tossing himself back to lay flat against the bed. He repeats the words, a broken whisper as he seems to admit it not only to you but to himself. "I don't deserve you."

You're quiet at that. "Why would you say such a thing?"

"Because I'm not good enough for my parents, and I wasn't even good enough for the girls who only wanted my money- how could I possibly be good enough for you?" Jungkook whispered to himself. "I had liked you for so long but self-sabotaged myself because I knew I'd never have you- and I was ok with that. I could deal with disappointment- I didn't let myself get my hopes up. But when you confessed I realized exactly how pathetic I was, that I'd be doing you a great injustice of tormenting you into being with me."

Jungkook's eyes water and you see a shiny tear slide down the side of his face.

"Jungkook, you're a complete idiot," you say softly. "I can't believe you could even think something like that. You're worth the world and more. It wouldn't be a burden to be with you- it'd be... I don't know what it'd be, but I'd be grateful. I like being with you, whether it's as friends or something more, so being in a relationship... I'd be happy to have that. You deserve happiness, Jungkook, whether that's with me or yourself."

You place your hand on his wrist, moving his hands away from his face to look him in the eye. "Those other girls didn't see what a great person they had in front of them. I'd like you regardless of your money. You're priceless in that sense. And your parents want what's best for you- otherwise, they wouldn't care. Sure, they judged me, but based on the girls who had hurt you before by using you, it's only natural for them to assume the worst from someone who outwardly seems just like them."

He avoids your gaze, and in an effort to force him to listen to you, you straddle him. As though on instinct he grips your hips, but you're quick to pry them off, pinning his wrists to the bed. It was strange being truly on top for once, having the power. Sure, he could easily get up, his brute strength and brawn making it easy for him to simply overpower you, but he laid limp beneath you, putting up no effort or struggle to get up. You kept him firmly planted against the mattress, staring him in the eye.

"Jungkook, look at me. There are so many great things about you. You're empathetic and there for people when they need you most. You're so afraid of disappointing people, but in reality, you're so much more than they could even dream of. You're a good person inside and out, and I know you don't think you deserve much, but I know you do. It took me a while to realize I deserve those things, too."

"Of course you deserve those things," Jungkook speaks up. "You've been hurt continuously- you deserve a break. You deserve something good for once."

You smile weakly. "What if you were that good thing?"

Jungkook sighs, as though it were exhausting to even try to get you to comprehend what he was trying to say. "I highly doubt that."

"How come?"

"Because it'd be a burden to love me," Jungkook whispers quietly.

Your heart shatters at his words, and you feel your eyes water. A tear slips down your cheeks, and you hastily wipe them away with your hands, but Jungkook could see. His face crumbles along with yours, and he reaches up to wipe the tear off of your cheek, catching it with his thumb.

"Don't cry, I'm sorry. Please don't cry," Jungkook pleads softly, his voice tight.

"You're such an idiot," you say weakly. It was so strange- someone as great as Jungkook believing he wasn't even worthy of love. What made it truly heartbreaking was that you used to think the exact same way.

"I know," he says softly.

"No- you're an idiot for really thinking you'd be a burden. You're fucking wonderful, Jungkook, and it crushes me that you don't love yourself as much as I love you and I just-" You begin to sob, your body shaking as Jungkook sits up. You wrap your arms around his neck, pressing your body against his firmly. "You're so fucking stupid."

Jungkook freezes at your words, slowly pulling back to look you in the eye. His eyes water along with yours, and before you know it your lips are pressed together, and he's falling back onto the mattress. Your lips are firm against his, and you taste the salt on your lips, realizing he was crying as well.

You pull back slightly, your lips still brushing together, barely touching. "We shouldn't do this- you still need to figure out how you feel."

He places your head in his hands, cradling your face gently. "I know exactly how I feel about you."

"And I feel the same way, I just-" You feel yourself start to choke up once again. "I just wish you got to see how wonderful you really are."

Jungkook frowns slightly, wounded at the thought of disappointing you. "It's just hard for me to see those things, I suppose."

You press your lips tenderly against his once again. "Then let me help you."

Jungkook's hands slide up your sides, your shirt lifting the fabric as it bunched around his wrists. You reached down, lifting it above your head as though you were unwrapping a present. Jungkook's eyes wander over the sight of you in your bra, his eyes starry despite the fact he's seen you shirtless countless times before. You unhook it, letting the straps slide off your arms as you toss it aside.

"You're beautiful," Jungkook mumbles, his hands coming up to grope your chest.

"So are you, you piece of shit," you mumble, causing him to laugh as you grip his shirt, urging him to tug it off as well.

"God, I never would've pictured you as the cheesy type," Jungkook murmured, tugging his shirt off.

"Well, I wouldn't have pictured someone with a body and personality like yours to be the insecure type, but here we are," you bite back, unbuttoning your jeans to make them looser. You tug at Jungkook's hand as you slid it towards your lower stomach. He followed suit once you let go, his hand sliding behind the hem of your jeans and panties to dive between your lips.

"My babygirl's already so wet for me, isn't she?" Jungkook mumbled, digits sliding up and down your heat. You shuddered at his sensitive touch against your clit, rocking your hips against his hand. "Can anyone else get you this wet?"

"No," you say breathily. "Please touch me, Jungkook."

"Where? I've already got my hands on your greedy cunt, babygirl," Jungkook hisses, hand sliding up so that his calloused fingertips could properly rub at your slippery clit, a circular motion that had you arching your back.

You leaned back, gripping his knees, your head tossed back. "There, Jungkook, fuck."

"Mm, so greedy," Jungkook teases, as you quickly get out of your jeans and panties, completely bare before him. You spread your legs again in front of him, hips hovering above his own as his hand is back on your cunt, sliding his hand back down, slipping two digits easily inside of you. "You're swallowing my fingers whole already."

"You fucking tease," you grumble, lifting your hips to dock back and forth on his fingers. He crooks them inside of you, already so attuned to your body that he finds your g-spot within a millisecond. You let out a whimper as he repeatedly hits it, and you vigorously ride his fingers.

"Yeah, I'm a tease. But it takes a tease to make you so desperate, hm? Now put on a good show for me, cockslut," Jungkook urges on. You spread your legs further, giving him a full view of his fingers appearing and disappearing inside of you. Your greedy pussy swallows the digits whole, even as he slides in a third one to give you a proper stretch. You're so wet that your juices slide down your cheeks and onto his pants, sure enough making a mess of him.

It's funny that just one minute you were talking so seriously, both of you crying as Jungkook revealed not what he felt for you, but what he felt for himself. And now you were on top of him, completely naked, and so turned on you didn't know what to do with yourself.

At that thought, you climb off of him, quickly undoing his pants, slipping them down his legs until he was just in his boxers. "Let me go down on you, baby," you say, springing his erection out. You pump it in your hand, the girth and length comfortable in your palm. Something about it made you feel so at home.

Jungkook groans as you lower your head, tongue swirling around the head of his cock. Your tongue sweeps along the underside before you sink further down. Jungkook instinctively bucks his hips into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat. You gag instinctively, but bury yourself further down, your nose pressing against his pelvic bone, brushing the fine pubic hair.

"Holy shit," Jungkook gasped out, feeling you swallow around him, the walls of your throat constricting around his dick as you struggle to keep your head down. "Your mouth is fucking amazing."

You squirmed, squeezing your thighs together. It always made you so wet to hear his praises, and the moans that he let out as he tossed his head back and lifted his hips from the sheets- that was probably your biggest turn on.

You take him down as best you can, bobbing your head as you let yourself breathe through your nose once you're at the top, but soon enough Jungkooks hands are tangled in your hair, maneuvering you to sink further down to the base of his cock. The feeling is delicious, and your breath is stolen from you. However, simply glancing up to him, his sweaty form, beads forming along his broad and buff chest, his neck exposed as he tilts his head back- it knocked the breath out of your lungs all over again.

Your walls constricted around his length, convulsing until he yanked harshly at your hair. You popped off, breathless, drool dripping down your chin and onto his thighs. You were a hot mess, but Jungkook couldn't help but get aroused at the sight. He wipes the spit off of your face. "So pretty," he cooes, licking his lips as he admires your wrecked form.

"Lay down," you urge, your hands firmly planted on his chest as you smack him down, back to the mattress. His back bounces against it as you straddle him, spreading your legs as you grip his cock, aligning it with your entrance.

"I'm topping this time," you tell him with a wink, sinking down onto him.

He lets out a hiss, eyeing as his girth disappeared into your folds. "We'll see about that," he says, his hands coming up to grip your hips. You're quick, slapping his hands down beside his head as you lean over, pinning him.

"No touching, baby," you purr, lifting your hips as you begin to ride him. It's a delicious feeling, the comforting and familiar stretch as he moves within you, your wetness making it easy for him to glide inside of you. You move at your own pace, a slower one as you make sure to make every twist of your hips count. The feeling has Jungkook groaning, enjoying the feeling of you fucking against him.

"Shit, babygirl, just like that," Jungkook growls, his voice a low rasp.

You smirk at that, maneuvering your hips in a way that had another low growl emit from deep in his chest, all the way to the depths of his lungs. "Like that?"

"Mm, just like that," he purrs seductively. "I suggest you hold on, baby."

"Hold on? Why would I- oh fuck."

Jungkook's hips slam back to yours, his balls slapping against your ass with vigorous force. You have no choice but to press your hands against his chest, struggling to keep your balance as you truly begin to ride him, his thighs slapping against your ass as he repeatedly lifts his hips from the bed to thrust into you. Although you were on top, he always seemed to find a way to take control.

"Awe, someone struggling to stay on?" he cooed mockingly, a smug smile on his face.

"S-Shut up and fuck me," you hiss bitterly, your voice tight as you focus on how he hits your sweet spot. Your arms shake, and Jungkook laughs at your struggle. He reaches back, knowing you won't be able to protest, his hand slipping down to your ass, pressing his middle finger inside. At that single movement, you feel yourself come undone, giving up in a sense as you collapse against his chest as he continuously fucks you.

"Fuck, you're always so tight, no matter how hard I fuck you," Jungkook groans, his thrusts getting sloppy. "Touch yourself for me. I wanna see you cum."

Your weak arm is able to lift itself, slithering between your sweaty bodies to rub your clit. You gasp out at the feeling, creaming over his cock as you feel your orgasm wash over you, your climax finally reaching.

"Mm, that's it, baby, cum for me," Jungkook encourages, feeling the way you quake and clench down on him. "Just like that."

He follows closely as you clamp yourself down on him like a vice, trapping him as you milk him for all he's worth. His seed spills into you, filling you up thoroughly. You're both breathless and panting, chest to chest as you look at each other.

You lift yourself, brushing your hair aside as to not cover his face when you speak to him. "Don't run from me again," you say quietly. "I need you to confront me properly for the problems we have in the future."

"Future?" Jungkook wonders aloud.

You smile softly at that, twisting a lock of his magenta hair around your finger. "That is if you let us have a future."

Jungkook's quiet at that.

"I know how you feel about yourself- but I want you to tell me what you want. Not what you think I want or need- but what you truly want and need. And if that involves being with me, I'll be with you every step of the way," you promise him, brushing his cheek, caressing the skin. "You say the word and I'll stay or leave. But I'll always be here for you- because that's just the kind of person I am."

Jungkook's eyes soften at that. "I want a future with you."

You grin at that, pressing your lips softly against his. You snuggle into his chest, ignoring the sticky skin, instead enjoying the feeling of his skin against yours as he wraps his arms around you. His embrace feels like stepping into your childhood home, and you feel instantly comfortable.

"If it gives you the happiness you deserve, then I want that, too."

His fingers thread through your hair, softly massaging your scalp as he plays with the locks interwoven with his fingers. "Are you sure about this? About us?" he questions. He pauses. "About me?"

"Of course I'm sure. I've never been more sure about someone or something in my life," you confirm, not doubting your words.

"You used to hate me, you know," Jungkook reminds me. "I annoyed you."

"You still annoy me," you say, smiling at the words.

"Then why do you want me?"

"Because I want every part of you. I want the good and the bad. I want the annoying and the empathetic. I don't want you to be perfect, Jungkook. You're so perfectly imperfect that I can't stand it, to be frank. I wouldn't change a single thing about you," you tell him honestly.

Jungkook smiles at that, and for a moment you wonder if he's crying again. He presses a kiss on the top of your head, and you feel his grin as he does so. "I'm sure about you, too," he whispers softly in your ear.

Months Later

The scene seems familiar. You're outside the very same restaurant, about to see Jungkook's parents once again. Your hand is clasped very firmly with his, and you feel yourself holding your breath. The only difference is that you're actually dressed like yourself- similarly to Jungkook. Dark clothes that still showed some of your tattoos, making sure you didn't appear to be ashamed of them, despite how fancy the restaurant was.

"Hey, don't be so tense. You met them before," Jungkook teased, a grin on his face.

You roll your eyes at your boyfriend. "And that went wonderfully, last time I checked."

"Well, this time you'll be yourself," Jungkook reminds you.

"But what if that isn't even enough? What if they hate the real me as much as they did the fake me?" you wonder aloud, your tone nervous. You were actually going to meet them as Jungkook's official girlfriend, and this time you wouldn't be pretending to be someone you weren't. It was nerve-wracking, to be honest.

"I don't care what they think. I mean, sure, I want them to like you. But when it comes down to it, I like you for you, no matter what they say. You're the person who taught me that I had self-worth, and no one's opinion will change how I see you."

You find yourself smiling at his words. You nudge him lightly with your elbow, grinning. "You're too much sometimes."

He mimics your grin. "It's true, though. Even you know that."

"Whatever." You roll your eyes.

"We don't have to see them. I can always cancel if you really don't want to do this," he offers.

"No, no, I want to do this," you say, taking in a deep breath. "I need to stop stalling, anyway."

Jungkook nods, and soon the two of you are walking into the restaurant. You two were clearly an odd sight, the rest of the people giving you odd stares. The women wore pearls and diamonds, and you wore a choker. Their heels gave more height compared to your combat boots, but at least your jeans were about as tight as their dresses. You had that going for you, in a sense. However, despite how awkward you felt in comparison, there was some comfort in knowing that Jungkook looked just as strange as you in this social setting. He still seemed completely at home, though, paying no attention to the stares, simply squeezing your hand as the two of you made your way over to the parents' table.

The mother gives you a once over, the gears in her head turning as it clicks that you're the same girl from before, though with a rather drastic change. "This girl, again?" she questions, eyes flickering to Jungkook.

"This is Y/N- my girlfriend," Jungkook clarifies, tugging you closer to him.

"Didn't we meet you, before?" Jungkook's father questions, a bit slower than the mother.

"Er- yes," you cough awkwardly. "And... this is me. I'm not some conservative princess who wears white and acts like an angel. I like rock music that would make the elderly hate the youth, dark clothes that look as though I'm your typical goth, and I'm undeniably, completely in love with your son. And I'm done pretending to be someone I'm not- so like me or not, I have no immediate plans to change who I am."

There's a moment of silence, a sense of a standoff between you and Jeon's mother. Jungkook's hand feels clammy in yours as his eyes flicker between you and his mother. She analyzes you, her eyes flickering over your frame. Her mouth goes small, and she squints at you, as though trying to tell whether or not you were being genuine.

Slowly, she extends her hand, a small approving smile stretching across her gorgeous features. "Welcome to the family," she says.

You let out a breath of relief, shock overwhelming you as you meet her hand. Your chest swells with pride, and you look to Jungkook in utter glee. He stares back approvingly, glowing to see that his mother approved of you and liked you.

Staring into Jungkook's eyes at that moment, you knew that you had never felt so at home.

Finally, you were no longer so lost.

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