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starwikia · 2 months

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suicide cw

look i have been in this area before mentally. it sucks and i wouldn’t wish this on anyone. but, and this is going to sound callous, but i don’t feel any sympathy for james somerton. even if i hope he’s like. not dead. But thats all the amount of goodwill im willing to give him. The more i think about this really, the more angry i am.

ngl this entire situation is another example of how white people weaponize their mental illness to avoid consequences. Im seeing it in real time.

this man has a continuous habit of using self-harm as a get-out-of-jail-for-free card. in both of his apologies, he has worded his supposed attempts in ways that were clearly meant to guilt people who displayed his plagiarism and overall horrendous history of racism and misogyny. i say supposed because, while i’m not saying those are lies and this would he such a fucked up thing to lie about that i don’t want to think he has, unfortunately, it’s been proven again and again that his word can’t be trusted, as he’s known to lie to try get out of consequences. Hes a proven liar. him lying about this is actually the best case scenario, because no one should go through this entire situation, wouldnt wish this on anyone, but you can only do this so often before people stop sympathizing with you. is this callous? Yeah, but like. I’m actually fucking angry he cant straight up take no as an answer. that this is how he reacts realizing he cant be one of the Cool Kidz™️ on youtube anymore. he acts like he DESERVES a career, like its not a privilege hes lost due to his own actions.

He lied about apologizing and forgiving people, he lied about giving the money to hbomberguy to give to ppl he ripped off (yknow, instead of doing it himself), he lied about the jessie gender situation and rewrote the narrative to make it so he isnt the bad guy, and hes the victim all along actually!

you can’t tell me that supposed last message of his isn’t meant to be a 13 reasons why esq attempt to deflect the blame “look i’m going to kill myself and it’s all YOUR PEOPLES FAULT for not letting me achieve my DREAM of being filmmaker IN PEACE!!! I just wanted Nick’s (the guy who I have thrown under the bus again and again) portfolio up!! Im just being a good friend dont you all FEEL BAD” he refuses to take ANY ACCOUNTABILITY of any of his actions and he IS STILL trying to shove the blame over to other people again.

it’s also pretty ironic people are like “uhhh well hbomber’s fans harassed him!!!” like hbomber outright told people NOT to HARASS JAMES!!! ALSO acting as if james doesn’t have a very real documented history of STRAIGHT UP sending his fans to harass and threaten smaller creators, more notably women, trans, and bipoc creators. especially after he’s stolen typically very personal anecdotes so he could profit from them. so why can he do it but the second people are like “hey this guys an actual piece of shit.” and he can’t handle it suddenly people are trying to white knight his shit? like no he doesn’t get that. he doesn’t get that at all just because he couldn’t handle the consequences of his actions.

what? were supposed to stay quiet about a man profiting off of other minorities because he wanted to be the spokesman for all gay people? people tried to solve this on a smaller, more private scales for YEARS and he kept doing it. it was clear that the giant public video was the ONLY way to get people to notice. HE WOULDVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH STEALING 87 FUCKING THOUSANDS WORTH OF DOLLARS. HE CANT HANDLE THE FACT HE CANT GET AWAY WITH IT.

am i supposed to feel bad for the guy who basically threatened a trans woman with the police? i don’t care what anyone says, it’s so fucking obvious that he threatened jessie by implying he was getting the police involved in their conflict. what am i supposed to act like that didn’t happen? are we supposed to pretend like he didn’t glorify nazi’s and outright said that gay people made up a good chunk of the nazis? That he didnt say america joined ww2 bc they were jealous of the NAZIS. WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO FUCKING SAY THAT. but then? He gives women (not even women most of the time, he misgenders nonbinary ppl constantly) shit for writing mlm. are we supposed to act like he doesn’t straight-up sees himself superior and better than people of color and steals their works to put himself on a pedestal? Are we supposed to act like he didnt spit on our elders by saying “only the boring gays survived aids” like man! Fuck you! He BLANTANTLY MAKES UP HISTORY TO PUT HIMSELF ON A PEDESTAL!! HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO REWRITE LGBT HISTORY TO SUIT HIS FUCKED UP NARRATIVES!

yes this sucks ! no one deserves this but no one should be making him a martyr. Thats what he fucking WANTS! He wants to be immortalized as a victim!! (again, supposedly, it was reported hes alive but its not confirmed).

The shit he got isnt near the amount of fucking callous behavior hes done again and again. Again, to drill this point, EVEN IF HE DIDNT CALL THE POLICE HE THREATENED A TRANS WOMAN INTO THINKING HE DID!!! The fact he tried to use a head injury to justify years of the outright ghoulish shit fucking astounds me. Why the fuck did anyone in his life thought it was a good idea to let him TRY to come back. in the end, he had options. he didn’t need to try to make a comeback. HE DIDNT NEED TO FUCKING LIE OR IGNORE THE SHIT HE WAS CALLED OUT ON the reality is, he wanted to come back thinking he could shove it under the rug, was told that no dude, you’re not allowed to be a youtuber anymore. you’re done. you need to move on and went full nuclear. it’s not on anyone’s hands but his own. HES BEEN DOING THIS TO HIMSELF!! But nah man we cant call his shit out bc hell may or may not kill himself. Fuck the other minorities who have the same issues but worse and sometimes BECAUSE of him. This is going to SUCKKKK so bad when other ppl, specifically white gays, are going to weaponize this shit to get away with their stuff.

#warning: do not read this post if you want me to be nice to james somerton. i am extremely mean in this post.#before anyone accuses me of shit i legit never contacted him myself or anyone involved. i am someone who witnessed this behavior repeatedly #again. i hope hes alive and well. the fact is him lying about this WOULD BE THE IDEAL SITUATION. BC NO ONE SHOULD GO THROUGH THAT. but.#he HAS to forever be the victim in his eyes. attempting doesnt automatically mean youre free of sin.#its just terrible to see that regardless whether or not he did do it #its very clear his attempts to run away from his consequences are working on some people #we need to acknowledge that if your shitty ex friend can weaponize a threat to kill themselves #so can this internet person after being called out for horrendous shit #like what was the alterative? what were people supposed to fucking do? be nice about it?#yeah as if poc and trans women arent historically given shit for being 'too mean' about wanting justice.#this isnt just the plagiarism this is the fact a white dude has been parading himself as THE speaker for the gays(tm) but has been using hi #gayness to shield himself from his misogyny racism transphobia and antisemitism #its very clear regardless this means that ppl r going to side with him and then give him benefit of doubt #if you cant handle the heat stay out of the fucking kitchen dude. this is the consequences of your fucking actions.#hes a disgusting person who cant handle being told no so hes going to drag everyone down with him #like. idk this entire situation is frustrating to me.#its also frustrating ppl trying to be moral abt it like 'see! i knew this was bad all along!' no you didnt. shut it.#for the record im like mainly talking abt twit watching those spineless uwu cutesy ppl basically saying hes done noting wrong #oh and also alt righters who are clearly weaponinizing this where u know they wouldnt give a shit if a right ytber did this.#james somerton #idk might delete this later its just. ugh...

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gayandfairycore · 11 months

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Do you see right through me?

A/n: I am back! Restarting my streak of posting a fic every few months, XO kitty is my new obsession atm and I have seen no fanfics about the loml, so here’s an unrequested kitty x femreader! This doesn’t really follow everything in the show, but nevertheless I’m happy with it! As always all chaste aged up side note I am curious of your thoughts on the show? I’m sad people disliked the show as much as they did, I actually thought it was pretty alright? cringey at moments, but isn’t that all Netflix’s shows…

Summary: falling in love with kitty covey when she comes to K.I.S.S and your fellow students surprised by your care for the girl. When kitty hears Minho talk about how untouchable you were to anyone. She begins to hope that you feel for her what she feels for you.

Warnings: bullying, panic attacks, mentions of slurs but no actual use of slurs, (not so) unrequited love, homophobia, internalised homophobia, purposely getting someone drunk, daes a smidge homophobic in this fic, this fic is also not proof read because I’m lazy 😌

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

You knew she was with dae, hell you knew since the moment she met you, rambling excited about her true love, and The fact that she had flown half way around the globe for a boy.

It felt blaringly obvious that if she were to do that there was no way that she would be into women. Plus you’d never. Ever. Want to steal someone’s partner That was just wrong.

So you would watch from afar, hold on to any touches the girl would give you, and you would force yourself to feel happiness for the girl. Force down any feelings of bitterness when she would stare at dae with love in her eyes.

Kitty song-covey was just so magnetic. It was like she vibrated on a whole different plane of existence. No matter how hard you tried You couldn’t stop half of your heart from breaking whenever she told you the details about her quest to get back dae.

You felt anger burn in you, boil your blood at the audacity of the boy lucky enough to hold her heart. To cheat on her it made you feel sick.

She deserved better, you hoped that maybe better would be you… from the moment you saw her she caught your heart. The illusive y/n l/n.

If she were to ask any student at KISS she would find out the rumours of your name. You were the girl who was smoking hot and yet had never had a boyfriend, despite many boys asking you out in grandiose ways.

You were, too many, The untouchable girl.

And for a girl with such a reputation It felt embarrassing how quickly you began to feel things for her. Non platonic things.

you felt a sense of duty when you saw her slip in those cupcakes. you moved without a second thought the click of your heels on the polished floors as you bent to her level.

“Are you okay?” You’d ask the girl

No reply left her lips, with orange frosting sticky and coated to her dress, tears shone in her eyes. As she looked up at you, with a tearful gaze, her eyes glazed over in embarrassment as she searched her surroundings. Staring down the lens of a phone camera she started to think maybe coming to Korea was a mistake.

The girl begun to replay every unfortunate incident over, and over in her head. There was virtually no one good here.

From her meeting with Minho at the airport, being swerved by principal Lim about her mother, meeting yuri, meeting her long term boyfriend again in person only to find him with a different girl she felt ridiculous.

As the lenses of cameras continued to stay pointed at her, kitty appreciated your kind smile as you pushed yourself off from being knelt beside her

“hey! Nothing to see here people. Go about your merry business.” Youd announce loudly to the leering students as they stared at the girl.

Feeling exasperated when no onlookers attempted to look away you spoke again. With a demanding and expecting.

“Go on! Shoo.” Only turning back to the red head once they made hast to look away, sighing and brushing your hair from your face you took the girl by her fore arm and pulled her up.

Before you could speak daes figure had made himself comfortable at her side rambling on about how it wasn’t what it looked like.

Kitty was clearly overwhelmed, from the jet lag, and the terrible experience she endured it was almost as if the room was closing in on the girl, the crushing weight of what seemed to be her mistakes crashed over her in unkind waves.

When the girl looking around the room, daes rambles became almost muted to the girl as the murmurs in the crowd of people were the final straw for the girl. Your hand on her arm the only thing grounding her from her onslaught of tears, And embarrassment.

Breaking your hold on her arm as the girl ran out of the room you sent an angry glare to the boy standing next to you, sending him a look that says something like ‘aren’t you going to go after her??’

Shaking your head at the raven haired boy when he averted his gaze as yuris perfectly manicured hands wrapped around his arm and lead him away sending an almost apologetic smile towards yourself it wouldn’t fix this mess.

Taking a deep breath you made a move to go after the girl, walking steadfast towards the exit your steps only faltering when the murmurs of the party goers no longer pertained to just kitty.

Gossip started far too quickly for your liking, their words thick with speculation as they questioned your sexuality, slurs muffled by hands into friends ears targeted at you made you begin to feel sick.

The beady eyes of students set heavily on you. The air thick, with each click of heels on the floor, and fast beat of your heart you felt bile rise to your throat. panic set deep in your heart.

Shaking your head and taking a breath, you wanted to leave, no. You needed to leave. With every watchful, beady, speculatory eye that stared seemingly right through you.

The thought kept repeating through your head they see right through you. Slamming through the door to the corridor, kitty is of course long gone, yet you still crane your neck in hopes to catch a glimpse of her. When you come up empty you hasten your steps rushing into the stall of the girl’s bathroom setting down the lid of the toilet and stifling your sobs with your hands stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying.

You repeat it like a mantra, you know you look like a mess, but all you care about is not showing that they’ve gotten to you. Hardening your expression they will not look right through you, you won’t let them. You can’t.

But for this moment you will not hide. Leaning your head against the stall walls, you say it for the first time.

“I’m a lesbian/bisexual/pansexual/your identity”

“I know.” You hear through the door, fear spikes ypur heart jumping to your throat as Q pokes his head over the stall.

“Q? This is the girls bathroom?”

“Yeah…I just wanted to you know make sure you’re alright?”

“I’m not but- how are you in here? Minhos outside distracting the girls from entering the bathroom…”

“Really?” You mutter wiping your eyes with the back of your hand

“Yeah sweetheart, open the door and we’ll take you back to your room.”

“Okay” you chuckle, unlatching the lock the sound of minho frantically trying to come up with excuses as to why the girls toilets are off limits won’t hold out for much longer.

His voice getting increasingly higher as he scrambles to block the door, sharing a look with Q you both grab the door handle, Minhos figure stumbling backwards into your body’s, you and Q both look to the ground grabbing his hand and bursting through the crowd of girls.

Their outraged cries consisting off “was that a boy in the girls bathroom?!?” And “what was he doing in there!” All three of you begin to laugh at your heist.

All three of you trying to catch your breath outside the auditorium, dae comes walking hastily towards your group pointing a finger back in there he asks “why did I just hear one of the girls say Q was in the girls toilets?”

“And that they couldn’t enter because minho said he was hiding a giant cake in the bathroom…”

“A giant cake?” You and Q both ask the boy turning expectantly for an answer

“This feel’s suddenly very judgemental, I didn’t have to help you, you know.” Minho defends, his face hard before dropping his facade after minutes of awkward silence.

Locking arms with the boys you make hast towards the dormitory’s as a teacher locks eyes with the four of you.

“Go, go, go, go” Q pushing, at first your group speeds off with small hurried steps, getting faster until it’s an all out run, when the teacher bursts out of the door. Laughter fills the cool night air as you all rush to your dorms.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

The loud ring of your alarm clock waking you up, your roommate still not here, you began to strip yourself of your dress from the night before. Instead sporting the school uniform. Slinging your bag over your back you set off to the cafeteria to buy yourself breakfast.

Your converse scraping against the ground, as you walked the path. A familiar head of hair came into view, biting down your smile you stepped closer.

The sight of Her cannery yellow suitcase bringing a frown to your face, along with the silouette of the boy next to her. You watch in discomfort, hesitant to move, to speak, to breathe. As you watch them embrace, the expression of hesitant love on the boys face is painful. You are painfully aware of just how in love they look.

when the sight of a black car and a silhouette of a girl steps out, you Release a breath you didn’t know you were holding when yuri breaks the two apart and steals dae away. It’s almost as if things aren’t so bad, You suddenly aren’t suffocating. Your converse clad feet walk closer to the red head, calling out her name.

A smile forms on her face as she sees you “y/n! Hey..”

“Covey, it’s nice to see you.” You smile rocking back and forth on your feet. Sizing her up you speak again with a shy smile

“I’ve got to say orange is not your colour.”

your eyes glance down to her suitcase as you tease the girl, any semblance of humour fades as she catches your gaze.

“Oh! Don’t worry!” The bubbly girl reassures “I’m not leaving, atleast not anymore.” She persists smiling with her teeth.

A soft look crinkles your eyes, you’re dead serious when you speak “good im glad you’ve decided to stay here.”

A bashful smile overcomes her face as she takes a look around you both. It’s silent for a few moments. It’s not an uncomfortable silence. Throughout that minute of silence you both seem to rake your eyes over eachother.

You’re the first to break it when you clear your throat. “Um you might want to take your things back to your dorm before classes. here I’ll help you.”

You nod toward her suitcase, and before she can stop you you’re picking up her suitcase, she smiles kindly. The walk to her dorm is quiet, you don’t mention the boys dormitory. Instead you bid the girl goodbye at the door.

And just like that time begins to fly with the girl, Days turn to weeks, stray touches and friendly hugs begin to linger too long. Far too long to be friendly. Atleast from your side.

Something held you back, from telling her, her relationship (if you could call it that) with dae, the fact she wasn’t into girls, or the fear of coming out.

And as Kitty spends her time chasing after dae, you spent your time chasing after kitty, whilst she was determined to be proved right that yuri & daes relationship was fake.

A part of you hoped it wasn’t, it felt cruel to think that as you were actively helping her, but part of you wished on every stray fallen eyelash, and every shooting star you saw. That maybe she’d like you too.

Maybe your touches set her skin on fire like hers did for you. When the day of Minhos party arrives and kitty asks you to do her makeup you jump at the opportunity to be closer to her.

With every stroke of your makeup brush against the apples of kittys cheeks it felt like you were buzzing with excitement just being so close to the girl.

Wanting to savour this moment you went slower, when kitty asked the harmless question of is you could do her lipstick your cheeks almost grew just as red as the blush you applied.

Before you started to dab the red pigment on your finger, tapping it gently against her lips the pads of your fingers bouncing off of her plump lips.

You couldn’t help imagining what it would be like to kiss her, your gaze lingered on her lips as your finger slowed its movement.

Turning your gaze up to meet kitty’s eyes, only to find the girl was already staring back at you.

Q watched intently from the doorway of his room, before he broke your stare on her lips with a “everybody ready?” Both kitty and yourself breaking eye contact simultaneously you Fling yourself away from kitty. Embarrassment begins to creep up your cheeks at being caught.

“You okay Y/n? We don’t have to go if you’re feeling sick.” Kitty speaks her eyes searching yours for any semblance of a lie.

“No, no! I’m alright let’s go.”

And with that you made your way to the door Qs hand gripped your upper arm with enough force to stop you but not hurt

“Hey y/n, yknow I saw you looking at kitty’s lips. If it’s any consolation I think she likes you too.” He smiled, his voice soft and comforting.

You wanted to say ‘really? You think so?

But instead your gaze dropped to the floor and you say an emotionless “she doesn’t like me like that.”

With a sigh from Q he opened his mouth as if to say more, his words dying in his throat as you broke his hold making your way down the hall to kitty’s figure.

Side stepping the girls attempt to hold your hand, her previous excitement dropped from her face for a moment before she cleared her throat “I’ve ordered us an Uber so let’s-let’s go.”

Walking ahead of the girl in a hurry, you miss the disappointed glance she shoots Q he rubs her arm in a comforting manner.

When you arrive to rubik the air is hot and stuffy, sweaty bodies dancing and drinking when florian orders you a fruity mock tail spiking it with what you assume to be vodka you drink it in silence, florian whispering to Q if you were okay.

You block them out, opting to instead dance your feelings away when you begin to dance to whatever was playing you began to feel a sense of freedom, your dance wasn’t anything special, wasn’t even particularly graceful. But you still felt eyes on you, as you turned to look to the pair that was staring at you eagerly you instead are met with the leering face of a fellow kiss student the buzz of alcohol dimming your senses as he leans down to whisper to you.

“We’ll aren’t you just beautiful, tell me can I buy you a drink?”

You don’t think. The alcohol numbing you, all you think is what can you do to take your mind off of kitty.

And before you know what you’re doing you grip his hand and lead him towards the bar, he buys you a drink, the familiar burn of some cheap vodka dances over the back of your throat before youre gripping his hands and you’re dancing with him.

And you dance for what feels like hours, and when you aren’t dancing you’re drinking, the burn of the alcohol stings the back of your throat.

And yet you keep drinking, seemingly oblivious, blissfully unaware of the fact he’s been buying, and buying, and buying, you drinks. And yet he hasn’t once touched a sip of alcohol.

The red flags aren’t red to you anymore, YPU can’t even hear the alarm bells ringing.

Sometime through the night you come to the realisation you’ve lost your friends, you’ve danced for as long as you can your feet aching and now all you feel is sick and exhausted.

“H-hey I think I’m gonna find my friends.” You tell your date, your words slurring together as vomit rises to your throat you take your hands off of the guy.

Ready to go back to your friends, even with dulled senses you’re on high alert when his soft smile leaves his face and his gaze hardens on your chest, his hands spring out to grip your arms in one hand. With bruising force, tugging

before Q sees you begin to wobble as the boy leads you to the exit of the club he walks past Q and florian.

The boys feel an immediate sense of urgency to protect you. They ask if you want to go with this guy, when they get your shaky “no” it’s enough conformation. Florian is pulling you into him as Q is telling the guy to leave you alone.

Breathing shakily, bile rises to the back of your throat, your eyes burning, as you gaze up at the boys their sympathetic faces giving you a once over.

“I just wanted to stop thinking about her.” You cried, slamming your head into Florian’s chest

“Oh dear” florian says looking you over “find kitty.” And just like that Q’s off in search of the girl, when teachers burst through the doors of the club. Principle lim pulling the plug to the speakers.

The club grows silent before the onslaught of people start running for the door, Florian leads you toward the exit. He doesn’t mind listening to your drunk rambles as you walk. Your legs unsteady, your mainly being supported by florian.

Taking the water he hands you with gratitude you take slow sips. Time seemed to barely move, as your memory felt funny. One moment you were in the club a flurry of lights disorienting you the next in your dorm bed room.

Cracking an eye open and groaning from the splitting headache behind your eyes you sluggishly roll out of bed.

Opening the bedroom door Qs figure slouched over the arm of the couch as minhos making coffee in the kitchen.

“Hey, y/n. We have Saturday detention by the way. Since someone got the party busted.”

Watching kitty on the stage her hair pinned up, you think she looks gorgeous in traditional clothing, adoration clear on your face.

Time seemingly slows as you watch her perform, with each movement of the fan your stare is still looking at the girl.

Conflict I’d happening on the stage, you can’t hear what they’re saying but you’re already concerned for the girl. Your heart leaps to your throat as you watch her trip.

Loud cracks of fireworks fill the gymnasium, time stops slowing, your ears block out the sound of scampering feet trying to exit the gym. you’re fully competent and you know what you’re doing when your shoes squeak against the floor you’re running toward the panicked girl.

Ripping off your jacket you throw it over the girls flaming skirt, easing her to the ground as you do so.

Kitty is panicked, frantic breaths leaving in puffed out pants, looking up at her through your lashes, your heart clenches at the sight of her scared face.

“Hey! Hey! I got you, you’re alright.” You state, your fingers that were previously patting wildly at the skirt, stop.

“Th-thank you.” Kitty whispers gratefully, her body visibly relaxing, yet She still looks scared with an emotion you can’t quite make out swimming in her eyes.

you make a move to comfort her more but your hand still’s outstretched towards her when dae comes rushing to her side.

His eyes wild, as he asks the girl if she’s okay, he lets out a breath when she tells him you helped.

“Yknow I would’ve helped her-“ nodding at his words, you feel guilty that you don’t quite believe the boy.

“I know. but I got here first.”

“I’m here now.” He exclaims coldly, his eyes nonverbally telling you to leave, bowing your head you look at kitty,

“I’m just glad you’re okay” and with that you turn and make your way of stage, meeting up with Minho by the door.

A knowing look on his face prompts you to ask “what’s that look for?”

“Nothing! No nothing. Aside from the fact you practically raced up there to save her…”

“You didn’t even think you just…went.”

Trying to no avail to hide the blush dusting your cheeks you cross your arms over your chest “well what’s it too you? I mean you’re famously anti kitty.”

“Mm you’re right, i don’t think she’s right for dae. I think she’s right for someone else…” he trails off making eye contact with you.

He sends you a comforting smile. His eyes flicker to dae as he marches up to both Minho and yourself. slamming Minho into the wooden wall dae sneers out “a you call yourself my friend” In Korean.

Minhos confusion seeps out as he asks “what’s all this about?!?” Also in korean, dae sees red slamming the boy harder into the wood before continuing “don’t pretend like you don’t know!”

Looking frantically around you, you decide to try and pry the boy off calling out a:

“What are you doing dae? let him go!” You cry pulling at the boys arm to get him to loosen his grip. His eyes hard as he turns to you, flinging his arm out, your feet falter at the abrupt movement when he pushes you off him His push sending you colliding with the gymnasium floor. Your hands slap against the ground, tears well in your eyes at the sting of your hands. and the bruise forming on your butt.

Despite your efforts Dae is still glaring at the boy infront pf him, Seemingly not caring that his shove sent you to the floor. “Dae, stop. Stop it! it’s not min Ho!” Kitty cries, “this has nothing to do with him”

“What you’re gay?” Dae laughs, sparing a glance at your form on the floor, Confusion and realisation dawn on the boys face before he mutters an apology to Minho.

sparing a hateful glance toward you on the floor, looking kitty in the eyes, the girl is clearly distraught in her hanbok. Her makeup runs down her cheeks as embarrassment boils. Dae shakes his head as he bursts from the door to the room.

Minho does a double take before giving you his hand, asking tentatively “are you okay?” His eyes rake your figure trying to asses the damage.

“I’m fine, I’m okay.” You stress putting yours hands in the air in attempt to reassure the boy.

“Good, good.”Minho mutters, clearly not believing you in the slightest. pulling you up, He shares a look with kitty watching as she diverts her gaze.

You shoot a glance to the red head, as Minho leads you away. Your concern for the girl outweighs any confusion about dae.

The cool air stings your face as Minho leads you outside, sitting you down on a concrete seat, “are you okay?” He asks.

Sighing shakily you look him in his eyes “yes-“

“And don’t lie to me.” He cuts you off, pointing his finger, he nods for you to continue his hard serious face still there.

“No? I mean! Ugh I really like her? But she clearly likes someone else…and she still has dae. And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do?”

“I’m failing pretty much all of my classes, and I’m gay. But I can’t be.”

“Oh you sweet thing.” Minho says pulling you into his chest, running his hands over your head as sobs break from your chest, wetting the boys suit.

“You know it’s okay to be afraid of your feelings for someone, but I can see it Kitty likes you, Not dae.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“God are you really so oblivious?!?” Exasperation reeks from the boy as he stared at you.

“She’s in love with you, you didn’t see it but her face when you saved her was enough to make dae realise she doesn’t like him anymore.”

“Oh my god. That’s what that was?”you question, your stomach dropping in anticipation. Vomit rising to your throat,

“I have to go!” You call breaking from Minhos hold,

“Another job well done” Minho smiles, shaking his head at the wet patch on his suit.

Your feet slam against the ground as you run to find the girl, bursting back into the gym she of course isn’t there.

Doubling over breathing heavily, panic grips your chest, as you look around. Closing your eyes you feel defeated.

“If you’re looking for kitty she’s in the dorm.”

Your eyebrows furrow, as you turn to face dae, an apologetic and yet reserved expression takes over his face.

“I-what? How did you-“

“It’s pretty obvious… no offence. But hey I’m happy for you.” The boy smiles, before turning to go

“How do you know she’ll like me back?” You whisper, daes steps halt as he turns to look at you.

“I’ve seen the way she stares at you when you aren’t looking, she used to look at me like that…” he looks sad as he remarks the girl’s feelings. but when he smiles at you with a watery smile and the nod of his head it’s his way of giving you the go ahead. And suddenly everything lightens up, the weight on your shoulders suddenly dissipates as you accept daes consent to make a move.

To let yourself be happy.

So you do, turning around you jog up stairs, and dodge various people as you make your way through the crowds of students in the halls.

Making your way to the boys dorm had become like a ritual, it was no longer buzzing with joy and laughter as a game or movie was in full swing Minho cooking something in the kitchen or rambling about the films his mum was in.

Instead the warmth in your chest was no longer there, You suddenly feel apprehension, as you stand there, your hand hovering over the door handle, you question if kitty will want this, if you should just turn around and couch surf until you go home.

When the door swings open to a sad kitty, in comfortable clothing, her hairs a mess, and she’s wearing an old ratty tshirt, but she still looks at gorgeous as ever as she stares up at you.

“Y/n?” She asks, her eyes glancing you up and down.

“Hi.” You whisper, bringing your hand up to caress her cheek, you ask her “can I kiss you?”

When she nods it’s all the permission you need, before you place a passionate yet gentle kiss on the girls lips, you pull away when the girl doesn’t move to kiss you back.

Only to be pulled back in my kittys soft hands against both of your cheeks pulling you in her lips crash against yours, the kiss isn’t perfect the techniques all wrong, and it’s sloppy, but you can’t help caring because you’re kissing her.

Tangling your hands in her unruly hair, you smile into the kiss.

When kitty pulls back, you look alarmed the girl feels a sharp guilt at breaking from the kiss, the pads of her fingers run over your cheek gently as if she is afraid you’ll break. The girl takes a breath in

“I’ve begun to learn a lot on Korea, about my mother, my friends, myself. And more Often then not my friends helped me realise things.” Kitty breaths she looks almost afraid to speak as she collects herself you can visibly see the cogs turning in her head as she speaks.

“And well, Q made me realise my feelings. They were confusing, and fun, and scary? But I think i really like them?”

“I think I really like them as well.” You smile, placing a kiss on her lips before continuing “And hey remind me to thank Q for all this.”

“No need you two, this is all the thanks I need.” Breaking from her hold you both turn to face your roomates their smug (mainly Minho) proud faces staring at you both.

“You know For a match maker you’re a bit oblivious.” Q speaks before planting himself on the couch

“I- what do you mean?” Kitty exclaims offended

“Kitty I’ve been in love with you since the moment I saw you...”

“WHAT!” Kitty exclaims in outrage “but- no- I’m supposed to know these things!!” The girl slumps over dramatically

Sharing content looks with your fellow roommates, none of you can hold it in bursting out in laughter.

It made you realise how much you wish you could stay in this moment forever before tomorrow comes and everything good hangs in the balance…

For now, you all were happy.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

#xo kitty #xo kitty x reader #kitty covey #Katherine covey x reader #kitty covey x reader #to all the boys x reader #to all the boys trilogy #x fem!reader #anna cathcart #sang heon lee #choi min young #netflix xo kitty #xo kitty x fem!reader #wlw yearning #wlw #sapphic #gayness

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