#all of my friends are going to cut me off if I don't stop
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"I need to find my darling husband!" Said Danny, dressed to the nines in a very elaborate royal dress with a lot of jewelry running through the ballroom after having been on the opposite end of a very worrying phone call.
"Seriously, what do you even see in that mortal!?" Screamed an observant and Danny stopped and leveled them with a glare cold enough to freeze over an active volcano and sharp enough to cut through obsidian.
"He makes me laugh."
Unlike those dead suitors went unsaid, but everyone at the ball (read: search for a bride/groom for the royal ghostling) practically heard it anyways.
Meanwhile over in the land of the living
Okay so Jason may have messed up. Now you see, he hasn't seen his platonic husband for tax benefits in a while, and he's been very careful to not let his identity as the Red Hood slip up before . Not even once in their relationship.
(He's not counting the time his in-laws sniffed him out as a Crime Lord, because Danny never believed them.)
Now, it wasn't exactly his fault he slipped up. You try to fight off an entire group after being pulled up on out of nowhere on the phone while trying to hide said noises of fighting.
Who was he calling? Danny of course since he said he was away for business. What business? Never specified and Jason wasn't going to pry.
So now here he was, bound 'helplessly' as Jason Todd along with a few other random civilians. Which, like, rude.
Wasn't he already good enough for this ancient ritual or whatever?
You know, he really should have walked with that "Anti-kidnapping device" he got that one time. Which honestly he feels like he should be surprised that such a thing exists but considering it was from Bruce. Well.
He's not surprised.
Oh, there's the Justice League now. Shame, he wanted to knock out a few guys himself- Oh, now he's being used to summon a ghost from the Infinite Realms of Royal Lineage.
Yea he probably should have walked with that "Anti-kidnapping device."
Wait a goddamn-
Is that-
"My darling husband!" Danny shouted, scooping him off the circle and away from the head cultist and swinging him around. "You had me worried sick!"
Now, he should ask the question anyone would in this situation when finding out your best friend and platonic husband for tax benefits was apparently a ghost of royal lineage.
"Why're you in a dress?"
"Okay, first of all I rock this thing." Danny huffed.
"That you do." Jason agreed rather easily.
"Second of all, blame those guys over there." He jerked his head in the direction of two very green floating eyeball people.
Not the weirdest he's seen, honestly.
The Observants were whispering to each other and leveling them-Jason in particular-a look.
"Now as you can see, I already have a spouse and I don't need another!" Danny hugged Jason closer for emphasis and he took the time to whisper in Danny's ear. "Did you really marry me to play the husband card?"
"Well, yes." Danny agreed. "But also because of taxes, because I love you and you're my best friend."
"So, we're still done for watching that movie right."
"Obviously."
A pained grunt came from below them and they both looked down to see Batman standing over a very unconscious cultist and looking up at them.
Hm.
He forgot they were there.
"So," Jason began, staring Bruce straight in the eyes. Batman's eyes narrowed. "Don't suppose we can push that forward to right now?"
"Yea, sure why not I'm not doing anything important." Danny leveled the Observants a look, and before either they, Batman, or the Justice League could do anything they both disappeared.
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dcxdp#dc x dp crossover#I think this was originally supposed to be a Danny as Peach and Jason as Mario cosplay idea#With still a focus on their platonic marriage#Buuuuut#Then I got hit with the royal idea and#yea#Mostly because I forgot about said previous idea#Jason: Hm I'm going to have so much explaining to do with the old man#Also Jason: But I don't feel like it so *disappears*#Batman: *Tired dad sigh*#ghost prince danny#Or like#ghost heir danny#He ain't king and the title is vague#Just because
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hallmarks of sisterhood
putellas!reader. r mediates a fight between her sisters. they don't realize they're tearing her apart in the process. at least, not until they ruin an important night for her. can they make it up to her? fluff & angst.
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Being significantly younger than your sisters, you were the true baby of the family, and were treated as such. You were already a pretty sensitive person, and the overprotective tendencies of the entire family only increased this. You were quite different from both your sisters. Alba was an extrovert, always talking, always laughing, never thinking too hard about anything. Alexia was quieter in public, but always loud at home in an attempt to match Alba’s energy. The competitive gene only seemed to skip you, and you hated conflict. Any type of it. You didn’t like yelling, you didn’t like arguments, and you couldn’t stand when people were mad at you.
It made sense then, that you’d always been the mitigator between your sisters. They were always fighting growing up, and it took a very small you to break up the fights that the teenage versions of them would get into, often shoving your small body in between theirs and singing a song so loudly they had no choice but to stop arguing. If the singing didn’t work, then you’d cry, and that always worked.
As you got older, your role changed slightly. You were still the mitigator, but more because you were logical and smart and both of them could normally trust you to be objective. You didn’t really enjoy it, but you hated it more when they weren’t speaking to each other, so you did what you could to resolve their fights easily.
All of this considered, you were not surprised to catch yourself in an argument between them yet again. This one wasn’t super similar to the others, though, in that it was much more emotionally charged. Both Alexia and Alba seemed angrier at each other than normal, and you didn’t know why. Still, you tried to fix it, as best you could.
-------
“I cannot believe you, Alba.” Alexia sighed, shaking her head at her other sister.
“Don’t try to guilt trip me, Ale, this isn’t my fault. I told you before there was a chance I’d have to go to this conference.” Alba shot back.
“You don’t have to go, you are choosing to go. So you can hook up with that coworker you're seeing.”
Alba flushed red with anger.
“Let’s calm down, guys,” you began, shifting uncomfortably in your seat in the corner of the sectional. Neither girl paid you any mind.
“I am going for work, Alexia, I wouldn’t sleep with anyone at a work conference.”
“Oh, yes of course, you’re so above that. You are notorious for not hooking up with people in inappropriate situations Alba, how could I forget. It was only 4 of my teammates you slept with? And how many of my other friends?”
“You are such a-”
“Stop.” You cut in. “Alexia, that was mean. Alba, she’s just disappointed because she was looking forward to spending time with everyone.” You cut in, trying to cool the rising temperature of the room.
“No, I am disappointed because we made a commitment to do this for Mami and now she’s backing out. Like always.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Alba scoffed.
“The last trip to Ibiza. Mother’s day last year. My 25th birthday,” Alexia began to list, counting the events off on her fingers rather condescending.
“Guys, please calm down.” You attempted.
“Will you ever get over me missing your 25th birthday? Or are you going to have it engraved on your tombstone? ‘My sister missed my birthday once and I never shut up about it.’” Alba yelled, getting to her feet and walking closer to where Alexia was sitting at the kitchen counter.
When Alexia rose to meet her, you stood nervously, too, moving a bit closer. “Why don’t we all stay seated?” You tried.
Both of them continued to ignore you, as if you weren’t even there. “That is not the point, Alba.”
“No, Ale, the point is that only your career is important. Everyone has to drop everything for football, but what I do doesn’t matter, and I have to bend over backwards to make things work with your insane schedule. The world doesn’t revolve around you, Alexia.”
“Oh my god, Alba. You are such a bitch.” Alexia sighed, rolling her eyes in a way she knew would make the younger girl furious.
“You are the bitch, Alexia. A selfish, bossy, mean bitch,” Alba yelled, crossing her arms and taking a step closer to the older girl.
“Alba, I swear to god,” Alexia threw back, the volume of her voice making you flinch. You stepped in between them, forcing them to both back up a bit.
“Please stop shouting.” You pleaded, looking between them. Both of them turned to you, annoyed.
“Go somewhere else if it’s bothering you, pequeña! Adults argue. Grow up.” Alexia yelled, sending a glare your way. You stopped back, blinking away tears, looking incredibly hurt. Alexia sighed. “Sorry, nena, I didn’t mean-”
It was too late, though, you were pushing past her towards the door of her house. “No, whatever. I’ll go. Solve your argument by yourselves for once.” You snapped.
“Nice job, Ale, you made the el bebe cry.” Alba said mockingly.
“Shut your mouth, Alba. Pequeña, come back,” Alexia called, but the door was already slamming shut behind you.
You wiped at your eyes furiously, getting into your car. You’d always hated how sensitive you were, how anyone raising their voice at you made you cry. You couldn’t argue, couldn’t disagree without dissolving into tears. Normally, angry tears. You’d always been like this, and your sisters often made fun of it, but were aware of the fact that you hated yelling, and tried to avoid doing so. Even when they were fighting with each other. Today got too out of control, though, both of them taking this specific issue very seriously.
They’d have to figure it out themselves, this time. You were done with this. They knew how you felt about conflict, and yet they always put you in the middle. It was exhausting and hurtful being caught in between them. They were adults, they could solve this argument.
You and Eli didn’t live far from Alexia, and you reached home before you were really ready to. You needed to erase all evidence of your tears from your face before heading inside, because Eli could not know about this. You and your sisters did not tell on each other, for one thing. For another, there was a possibility the trip in question could be rescheduled and you didn’t want to ruin the surprise.
You checked your face in the mirror, took a deep breath, denied Alexia’s phone call, and headed inside, prepared to pretend that nothing was wrong.
------
You got past your mother with very few questions asked, as she was distracted reading over Alexia’s new Nike contracts. Your sister still had Eli read all her contracts, a habit you and Alba teased her about often.
Eli did come knocking, though, only a few hours later, while you were in your room getting some homework done. “Nena?” She called from the hallway, not hearing a response to her knock.
Still, you didn’t say anything, so she pushed the door open, only to find you asleep at your desk, your head resting on a pile of photographs, your computer opened up to photoshop. A black and white photo of your sister at training was pulled up, and Eli quickly averted her eyes, knowing very well she wasn’t supposed to see this particular assignment until you were done.
“Mija,” Eli said, covering her eyes as she heard you stir. “Go to bed, it’s late, and you are exhausted.”
“Do not look, Mami!” You cried, sitting up completely and quickly flipping everything over and shutting your computer.
“I’m not!” Eli replied, laughing at how secretive you were about these photos.
“Okay, everything is away.” You said, standing to give your mother a hug before getting into bed. She squeezed you tight, as she always did, kissing your cheek before letting go.
“Goodnight,” she said, giving you a kind smile.
“Goodnight mami,” you replied, knowing she was smiling because she knew you were about to get back on your computer as soon as she left the room.
“Oh, do you know why your sister’s are fighting? I texted the groupchat with them, and they both replied to me separately.” Eli asked with an eye roll, quite used to your sisters’ antics.
“Something dumb, probably.” You said with an unconvincing laugh. Your mother gave you a weird look, like she didn't believe you, but didn’t push it.
As soon as she was out of the room, you were, in fact, back on your computer, finishing up the final touches on a photo of Alexia. You were really too excited to be preoccupied with your sisters at the moment. You were in school studying photography, and after a recent exhibition at your school, a gallery in Barcelona had reached out and asked you to shoot a series for them to display. They’d given you full creative control, which was an insane amount of trust to put into a 20 year old, and you were determined not to mess it up.
If that meant staying up late making sure every photo was perfect in the next couple days, so be it. You were proud of this work, and that wasn’t really a common feeling for you. You’d grown up in the shadow of your two sisters. Alexia was the best female footballer in the world, and Alba was… Alba. Everyone loved her. Nothing you ever did seemed to really make anyone pay attention, except for your Mami. Eli had always been careful to celebrate your and Alba’s accomplishments, like she celebrated Alexia’s, even if they weren’t of the same magnitude. Your sisters were a bit better than the rest of your family and friends, paying attention to what you did, but it always felt a bit like your mother was making them do so.
This was your chance to do something impressive of your own. Something that everyone could understand, everyone could be impressed by. It was an opportunity you were not about to waste. You didn’t realize the potential that other people had, though, to ruin it for you.
------
The next few days were busy. When you weren’t working on your photos, making sure they were perfectly edited and printed properly, you were worrying about what people would think about them. Or you were trying to pick the perfect outfit for Saturday evening, the opening of the gallery. There wasn’t a ton of time for you to respond to Alexia’s repetitive apologies, or to Alba’s pleading for you to be on her side. It was annoying, really, that during such an important and stressful week, they couldn’t leave you out of their argument.
You finally had enough on Friday, pulling up the groupchat with both of them in it, and sending a rather harsh message. It wasn’t like you to be harsh and snap at them, and you were hoping they would get the message that they’d upset you, and you wanted to be left out of this.
If one of you texts me one more time about this idiotic fight, I am going to tell Mami that it was you two who dented her car, not the neighbor backing into it. I am so tired of being pulled into the middle of this. Both of you apologize to each other for being mean, and get over it.
You hoped that would be the end of it. When your phone buzzed a few minutes later, though, you knew that had been a naive hope.
Alexia had responded first.
It should not be hard to pick a side when I am right, nena.
Alba responded after that.
You always let Alexia get away with things you’d yell at me about. You can both apologize to me when you are ready.
You weren’t really sure how Alba had decided that you’d sided with Alexia, but you certainly were not going to be apologizing to her anytime soon. You left them both on read, figuring they’d make up before the gallery opening tomorrow night.
-------
You were up pretty much the entire night before the gallery. This time, not because anything needed to get done, but because you were nervous. You were thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong. By the time morning rolled around, you slept for maybe a couple hours, and created a decisive list of every bad thing that could happen today.
You actually hadn’t thought of everything, but you wouldn’t know that until later.
You’d passed out just as the sun had started to rise, and Eli came in to wake you up only a few hours later.
“Nena, despierta,” she said softly, setting down a mug of coffee on your nightstand and shaking your shoulder.
You bolted upright in bed, and looked around frantically, startling your mother. “Am I late?!” You gasped, moving to get out of your bed as fast as possible.
“No, no, you aren’t late. It is only 11. Relax, mija, everything is okay.” Eli soothed, gently pushing you back down onto the bed.
You let out a relieved sigh, rubbing at your face with your hands. “Sorry.”
“Did you sleep at all?” Eli asked with a disapproving look.
“Not much. I tried, I swear, I just couldn’t turn my brain off.”
Your mother patted your cheek reassuringly. “You’re almost done, nena. It’s all going to go perfectly.”
You nodded, trying to believe her words. You just had this weird, nagging feeling that something was going to go wrong. There wasn’t time to focus on this feeling, though, no matter how much you wanted to. There was simply too much to be done. Accepting the hug your mother offered, you got up, ready to prepare yourself for the long day ahead.
-------
You didn’t really think anything of it when you didn’t see either of your sisters right away. You were busy greeting other people, family and friends. Some of Alexia’s teammates had made it, and you spent some time taking in the awestruck expression on Mapi’s face when she saw the singular photo of her included.
That was the best part of the whole thing, you decided. Getting to see everyone’s reactions to seeing themselves up on the wall.
The theme was people you loved, in their happy place. The project was joyful and fun, radiating happiness. Looking at the photos made you smile, and you were glad to see that everyone seemed to have the same reaction as they took their time looking at each image.
You had Mapi giggling at something Ingrid had said, a candid taken after a Barça game. Ingrid was smiling back at her, like making her girlfriend laugh was the only thing she wanted to do for the rest of her life.
You had your Mami, sitting in the stands of one of Alexia’s games, looking on with pride all over her face. You had her pinching Alba’s cheek, a fond smile on her face as your sister said something that was, no doubt, ridiculous.
You had your aunts and your uncles around the dinner table, all laughing hysterically.
You had your friends at the beach, all lounging and staring out into the ocean, looking peaceful.
You had your best friend sitting in the driver's seat of her car, singing along passionately to her favorite song.
More than anyone else, though, you had your sisters.
Alexia preparing to take a penalty, determined. Celebrating with her teammates after a goal. Cheekily blowing a kiss to Olga in the stands. Smiling proudly at Vicki after an impressive goal. Proudly wearing the captain’s armband in front of a completely sold out stadium. Leaned against Olga on the couch after a movie night, out cold. She was completely peaceful, with Olga looking down at her adoringly.
You had Alba at the school where she taught. Candids of her face, when one of her students got the answer right, or made her laugh. With her dog, holding him up at the aquarium, eye level with one of the dolphins. You had her watching Alexia play, too, a grin on her face that you were sure she was unaware of. Your favorite of Alba was a photo you’d taken in your Mami’s kitchen, while she’d been baking. Alba was sneaking a taste of the cake batter, and you’d captured her mid-wink, giving the camera a smile while Eli’s back was turned to her.
They hadn’t seen any of these photos; you’d almost gone crazy not showing them, and not giving in to them when they begged to see.
You’d finally managed to break away from a crowd of your friends, having a moment to yourself, when you realized that you still hadn’t seen your sisters yet. Ale’s teammates were here. Some of Alba’s friends were here. The whole family was here. You checked your watch, a frown on your face, seeing that they were both already over a half hour late, which was unlike both of them. It was only when you saw Olga looking up at one of the photos she was pictured in, all by herself, that you really got a sinking feeling in your stomach. She was talking to Irene when you walked over and interrupted, gently pulling Olga away from the conversation.
“Where is Ale? Is she coming late?” You asked, confused by the sad look on Olga’s face.
“No, nena, I’m sorry. She didn’t want to see Alba, so she decided not to come. I tried to convince her to, but she didn’t listen.” Olga said delicately. You looked like you’d been hit across the face, honestly, and Olga wanted nothing more than to march home and drag Alexia over here, but she knew better to try to convince the blonde to do something she had decided she wouldn’t. “She said she texted you?”
You pulled your phone out, taking a deep breath when you saw almost identical texts from both of your sisters.
Can’t make it tonight. I’ll come see it another time. Good luck!
Sorry, hermanita, I can’t come tonight. Love you.
You had been so excited for them to see their pictures. There was a little note up on the wall, too, a statement thanking everyone for coming. In it, you mentioned being excited to allow your sisters to finally see the photos, as they’d been begging to for a while now. And they hadn’t come.
A wave of embarrassment washed over you, your cheeks flushing red. You were angry, too, but you blinked your tears back, looking up at Olga and trying to look more put together than you felt.
“No Alba either.” You said, your voice cracking slightly.
“Oh, nena, I am so sorry.” Olga whispered, pulling you into a tight hug. It was too soft, and too comforting. You pulled away rapidly, shaking your head.
“It’s fine. I don’t care.” You said, cutting the brunette off before she could say anything else. “I have to go talk to someone, thank you for coming, Olga.”
You rushed away from your sister’s girlfriend, focusing on taking deep breaths. You couldn’t be sad, not right now. So many people had come here to celebrate you and your work, and you weren’t going to ruin it. You could be upset later. It was almost excruciating, pretending that you weren’t upset that your sisters hadn't come, but you managed it. You kept up a pretty good façade for the rest of the evening, even when you saw Olga speaking in hushed voices to Irene and Mapi, even when everyone kept asking where Ale and Alba were. You held it together. Because you, unlike them, could pretend that nothing was wrong for the sake of others.
-------
Your mother knew you better than anyone. You should have been thrilled, ecstatic. Everything had gone so well. Your photos had been a hit, the owners of the gallery had been thrilled. She realized neither of her other daughters had shown up, but she assumed they had talked that through with you. She wasn’t sure what was wrong with you, but when you declined going out with some of your friends as the night came to an end, Eli knew something wasn’t right.
She had every intention of letting you come to her, but you weren’t talking. As everyone began to file out of the gallery, saying their final goodbyes, Eli overheard you tell your friends you were going to go home because you were tired. You didn't say a single word to her aside from telling her that you’d see her at home, before you practically fled the building, heading for your car. She didn’t couldn’t imagine what was wrong, never expecting her daughters to have done what they did. Eli didn’t even think of them being a possible reason as to why you were upset. Mapi pulled her aside, though, before she could go after you, an infuriated look on her face.
“Do you know what your daughters have done?” She asked quietly.
Eli frowned. “No. What have they done?”
Mapi shook her head. “They both bailed on tonight over text to pequeña. They are in some stupid fight that they’ve put her in the middle of, and they didn’t want to see each other, so they didn’t come.”
Suddenly, Eli was quite furious at her eldest daughters. There would be hell to pay, she’d make sure of it. How could they be so selfish, and ruin your night like this? You’d been almost beside yourself for weeks about this night, and she knew the people you wanted to impress most were your sisters. And they hadn’t come. Before she yelled at them, though, she needed to go home to you, because she was very sure that you weren’t okay. Your odd behavior made sense, now, and Eli’s heart ached at the thought of you driving all by yourself while you were so upset.
“I will deal with them.” Eli said quietly. “Thank you for telling me, María, and for coming. It meant a lot to her.”
Mapi smiled sympathetically. “Of course. Let me know if you need help kicking some Putellas ass.”
Eli chuckled. “I will.”
She set off to her car after that, ignoring Alexia’s numerous phone calls. Likely, Olga had arrived home and laid into her for not coming, and Alexia was looking to be let off the hook from her Mami that she hadn’t messed up that badly. Eli wouldn’t be doing that.
-------
You didn’t make it far into the house. In your new dress, one that was reminiscent of the dress Alexia had worn to win her first balon d’or, you’d collapsed onto the couch, harsh sobs ripping their way out of your chest. You cried until your makeup ran and your chest hurt. Until your Mami arrived home, rushing through the door, her heart breaking when she saw the state you were in. Eli was by your side instantly, pulling you into her arms. It was rare that a hug from your mother didn’t make you feel better, but this was the case today. You weren’t really sure that anything would help, but you still buried yourself into your Mami’s arms, wishing more than anything that she could fix this for you.
“They didn’t come, Mami,” you sobbed.
“I know, mija, I am so sorry.”
“Am I not more important than their stupid fight?” You asked, looking up at your mother with a devastated expression on your face. “I was so excited for them to see, I just wanted them to be proud of me.”
Eli felt anger fill her at a level she’d never quite felt before. “I am proud of you, cariño, so proud of you. It’s all going to be okay, I promise. Everything is going to be fine.” She soothed, running her hand through your hair, shushing you softly. Her fury would have to wait, until you stopped crying. Eli would always put you first when you needed it, even if your sisters didn’t.
-------
It was late by the time you’d stopped crying and headed up to bed. With a soft goodnight to your Mami, you’d slumped upstairs, barely changing into your pajamas before you collapsed into your bed, absolutely exhausted. Being disappointed was tiring, apparently. And you were more disappointed than you’d ever been in your life.
Downstairs, Eli waited until she heard your door shut before she pulled her phone out, returning one of the 15 missed calls from her eldest daughter. Alexia picked up quickly, her voice dripping with guilt.
“Mami, I-”
“No. Do not try to explain yourself. You and Alba have done a terrible thing, Alexia. I am not sure how you will make it up to your sister, but you will. You will figure out how to fix it, you will apologize, you will mean it.”
“Sí, Mami.” Alexia said, her voice small like when she used to get scolded for kicking the football in the house or holding the tv remote high out of her sisters’ reach.
“I am so disappointed, Alexia. In you and Alba both.”
“I know, Mami.” Alexia replied, blinking hard to fight off her tears. “I’ll fix it, Al and I will fix it.”
“You will. Goodnight, Alexia. I love you.” Eli was furious, but she’d always say it, always make sure her daughters knew how loved they were.
“I love you too Mami,” the blonde choked out, feeling worse about this than she’d ever felt about anything in her entire life.
Eli called Alba next, who was significantly more clueless about the situation. Neither had known the other wasn’t going, but it was beyond your mother how either of her daughters could have underestimated how important to you this night was. Alba was in tears, like Alexia, by the end of the call, also promising her mother she’d fix it.
Eli knew the level of guilt Alexia and Alba must have been feeling at the moment, considering how protective they were of you. They never wanted you to be hurt, but you were. And they were the reason why. As she checked on you, ensuring you were asleep, she knew that her older daughters would go to the ends of the earth to make this up to you.
--------
Alba was sitting on her couch, willing herself to be the bigger person and pick up the phone to call Alexia, when she heard a knock at the door. The brunette knew who was there before she pulled it open, not flinching when her older sister was standing on her front porch.
Alexia had a drink carrier in one hand, and two bags in the other, giving Alba an unreadable look. “Can I come in?”
Alba nodded, stepping aside to let her sister in. The blonde headed for the living room, setting the coffees down, and grabbing hers out of the holder. Alba grabbed the other, noting that it was her favorite coffee, and her favorite breakfast pastry, from her favorite bakery. A bakery Alexia didn’t particularly like, but had clearly stopped at just for Alba.
It was a peace offering. One that Alba took, grabbing the coffee and the pastry, sitting on the couch next to her sister in a much less tense silence. They made up in the way only sister’s could, with no words necessary for either of them to know that the other was sorry for what had been said.
“We fucked up.” Alexia said after a minute, glancing at her sister.
“We really did.” Alba replied.
“We have to fix it.” Alexia declared.
“We really do.” Alba agreed.
“Are you going to keep agreeing with me, or are you going to come up with a solution here?”
“As the one who started the fight that led to us letting our sister down, I think it should be you who solves the problem, Alexia.” Alba retorted, a smirk on her face.
Her sister shook her head, shoving the brunette’s shoulder lightly. “You are supposed to be the smart one, hermana. Get thinking.”
“New car?”
“New house?”
“Can we buy her a country?”
They broke into laughter, the tension completely gone from the room, before they really got brainstorming. They were a good team when they weren’t fighting, and it wasn’t long before they’d come up with something that they hoped would make up for their horrible behavior.
-------
The minute you saw Alexia’s car pull into the driveway from your spot on the couch, you were standing up, prepared to flee the room. You’d known this would happen at some point today, but you weren’t ready to see them. You felt so humiliated and so neglected, you were sure that seeing them would have you in tears, and you didn’t really want to show that emotion in front of them. Not now, not when they were the reason you were so upset.
You knew how important family was to your mother, though, and you knew that if she told you to stay and talk to them, you would. Looking at her cautiously, you took in the wary expression on her face.
“Do you want to hear them out, mija?” Eli asked gently.
“No. I don’t want to see them right now. Please don’t make me.” You begged.
“I won’t make you do anything. Go upstairs, I’ll tell you when they’re gone.” Eli sighed, and with her permission, you practically sprinted up the stairs to your room, closing and locking the door behind you.
Your older sisters walked through the doors to the house like they were afraid of what awaited them inside, and it seems that they should have been. Eli stood from her chair, walking over to them, looking unimpressed at the large present in Alexia’s hands.
“Hola Mami,” Alba greeted softly. They both wanted to make this up to you, of course, but they also hated when their mother was mad at them.
“I do not think that buying her a present is going to fix this.” Eli said pointedly. Alexia and Alba exchanged nervous glances, relaxing slightly when Eli allowed them further into the house. “What is it?”
“It’s the new camera. The brand new canon model that she wanted, with all the extra lenses and storage and stuff.” Alexia said, feeling less and less confident about how she and Alba had chosen to go about this.
“And you think that is enough?” Eli asked bluntly.
“It’s a start.” Alba said, a bit defensively. “We know we messed up, Mami, and we missed the opening night but we can go see it today. Are you not being a little dramatic about this?”
Alexia shot her younger sister a look, knowing exactly how hurt you were, because Olga had returned home from the gallery and told her.
“You did not see her last night. When she realized you weren’t coming? She completely shut down. She talked to everyone she needed to, but I did not see her smile the rest of the night. She rushed out of the building just as the evening ended, and by the time I got home, she was sitting on the couch, sobbing. It was supposed to be her night, and you ruined it.” Eli snapped.
Alexia and Alba both looked appropriately ashamed, their heads dropping, gazes pointed at the floor in an almost identical fashion. They felt guilty, obviously, but Eli wasn’t quite sure they understood that it wasn’t just about them missing your event. It was so much more than that.
“She asked me why she is not more important to both of you than an argument. I do not want to spoil the gallery, but I do not think you understand how embarrassing it was for her to have countless photos of you two up on the wall, when you did not even come.”
Both her daughters’ heads snapped up at this. “Of us?” Alba asked. “The project was of us?”
“It was about her loved ones. You two were featured more than anyone else. She was so excited to see your reactions to the photos.” Eli continued, only making them feel worse.
“Please, Mami, I cannot hear anymore.” Alexia said softly, her heart aching at the thought of how upset you must be at the moment. Every detail that her mother added made it worse. She wasn’t sure she’d ever done anything like this to you before, and the thought that you might not forgive her was filling her with anxiety.
“No, you will hear all of it.” Eli said, shaking her head. “She said to me, ‘I was so excited for them to see, I just wanted them to be proud of me.’”
“We are proud of her, she has to know that.” Alba cut in desperately. Her mother just shook her head.
“She does not. Nothing she ever does feels very important to either of you, because it is always something you have done before. This was something that was her own, and she just wanted to share it with you. Everything your sister does is so that you two will be proud of her, and pay attention to her.”
At this, Alexia stood up from the couch, walking over to the window and putting her face in her hands. Her shoulders shook with silent cries, and neither her mother or her sister were very surprised at the emotional outburst. Alexia was always emotional when it came to you; she remembered the day you’d been born, every milestone in your life. You were your very tough sister’s soft spot.
“Do you think we can fix it?” Alba asked quietly, terrified of her mother’s answer.
With a deep sigh, Eli nodded her head. Alexia turned around hopefully, hanging on to Eli’s every word. “Your baby sister has always been more forgiving than both of you. She is hurt, but she will forgive you. She loves you both too much not to.”
Every word Eli said felt like a bullet to the chest to both of your sisters, something your mother was well aware of. She wasn’t going to sugar coat this. It was silent in the room for several minutes, every member of the family lost in thought. Alexia looked furious with herself, Alba looked like she was close to tears, and Eli just looked disappointed. She’d always trusted your sisters to take care of you when she couldn’t, but she wasn’t so sure she had that confidence in them anymore.
“I have an idea.” Alexia said finally, looking between her mother and her sister hesitantly. They both agreed to what she proposed, though, and it wasn’t long before Eli had pulled out some paper and pens for her daughters. They both sat on the floor around the coffee table and got writing. It was reminiscent of when they’d do their homework in the same spot years ago, sitting on the floor so they could play with you while they finished their assignments.
Now, though, you were painfully absent from the scene in front of your mother, and Eli could only hope that this would work.
-------
Alexia and Alba agreed that only one of them would go upstairs, give you the two pieces of paper, and let you be for the evening. Alexia was desperate to see you, while Alba wasn’t sure she could do so without crying, and she didn’t particularly want to put that on you at the moment. You hated seeing your sisters upset, and she didn’t want to inadvertently guilt you into forgiving her before you were ready. So, Alexia made her way upstairs, agreeing to Eli’s warnings to leave you alone if you wouldn’t let her in.
Her knock on your door was uncharacteristically gentle, and her voice was almost shaky as she announced herself.
“Nena? Can I come in for a minute?”
Taking a deep breath, you opened the door, feeling rather satisfied to see the guilt all over her face.
Alexia stepped into the room, looking so nervous and so unlike herself. She was fidgeting with two pieces of paper in her hands, barely able to bring herself to look you in the eye. “I am so sorry, hermanita. More sorry than I can put into words.” She didn't seem to know what else to say, and you rolled your eyes.
“Do you think that is enough?” You asked.
Alexia shook her head rapidly. “No, I know it isn’t. Alba and I are going to fix this, nena, I promise. Whatever we have to do, whatever it takes. We will make this up to you. There is nothing more important to us than you.”
Your eldest sister could tell you didn’t believe her, the way you looked away from her was a dead giveaway.
“I know you are upset, and that is okay. I just… can I give you a hug, nena? You can still be mad at me and everything. I’d just really like an hermanita hug.” Alexia said vulnerably, tears clouding her vision. She had underestimated how painful it would be to see you so upset with her, but her chest truly ached as she took in the betrayal and disappointment on your face. A few tears fell from her eyes, and it was this bit of emotion that had you nodding your head, stepping forward as Alexia wrapped her arms around you almost painfully tight.
It made you feel better, even though it probably shouldn’t have. Your sister’s hugs always felt warm and safe, and today was no exception. Even though she’d hurt you. It was still Alexia, and she was a hard person to stay mad at. Still, you pulled away before you wanted to, and the blonde cleared her throat, holding out the pieces of paper for you.
“From me and Alba. We will be downstairs, if you want to talk.” Your sister opened and closed her mouth a few times, before shaking her head, mustering a weak smile, and leaving the room. She shut the door behind her, something she never did, always insisting on leaving it open just to bother you.
You opened your sisters’ letters, not quite sure what you would be reading. You weren’t quite angry anymore, just sad. You were never one to hold a grudge, but you weren’t sure how they were going to be able to make this stop hurting.
You underestimate, however, how well your sisters knew you, and combined with the information they had from Eli, they knew just what to say. You read both the letters a few times, tears streaming down your face for what felt like the 12th time that day. This time, though, they were good tears.
Both letters were similar, but very… specific to each of your sisters.
Alexia’s was practically a bullet pointed list, in her messy, big handwriting. There was a mark on the page that looked suspiciously like a teardrop, and Alexia talked about her emotions in the letter the way she always did in real life; saying as little as possible, while still somehow saying a whole lot.
Alba’s was a real letter, paragraph after paragraph of neat writing, beautifully articulating what she wanted to say to you. It was always a bit surprising to remember how perceptive Alba was. She was a forgetful person, but not when it came to the things that mattered. This was clear in the letter, as she listed small details out that you hadn’t thought she’d noticed.
Both of the letters were an apology. An apology, and a deep dive into how proud of you Alexia and Alba were. They apologized for not making it clear, before going back to when you were a baby, and they watched you walk for the first time. Through the years, they had overlapping and different memories of things you’d done that made them swell with pride. There were things you remembered, and things you didn’t, but they made you feel special all the same. Alexia and Alba did pay attention, that much was clear. Even if they weren’t always the best at showing it, they paid attention to you.
It did more than a verbal apology could have ever done. It was something tangible, kind, warm and loving. It made you feel loved, and seen. It made you feel like you mattered. You weren’t Alexia, and you weren’t Alba, but you were you, and they felt that to be something much more special.
You tried to hold out a bit longer, you really did, but you were putting the letters down and rushing downstairs before you could really stop yourself.
You passed the kitchen on the way to the living room, where your Mami was preparing dinner, a small, relieved smile on her face. Wishing you had something funny and unbothered to say, you walked into the room, seeing your sisters sitting on the couch, looking pathetically distraught.
“Hola.” You said softly, feeling indescribably happy when both of their faces lit up at the sight of you, and you quickly crossed the room, wedging yourself in between them. They made room for you, as they always did, allowing you to fit easily into your spot squished with Alexia on one side, and Alba on the other.
They each wrapped an arm around you, and both tried to pull you in opposite directions. It was ironic, the way they used you to play a silly game of tug of war. This time, however, they stopped pulling when they realized neither of them would win. Instead, they both wrapped you into a very awkward and suffocating hug, arms wrapped around you from seemingly every direction.
“I love you, nena.” Alexia whispered, pressing a kiss to the side of your head.
Alba did the same to your cheek. “I am so sorry, hermanita, and I love you so much,” she whispered.
“I know.” You said softly. “I forgive you.”
And if it had been either of them in your position, it would have taken a lot more. You were the forgiving sister, though, and you’d really just needed proof that your sisters thought that you were as important as you felt them to be.
When Eli came in the room a few minutes later, it was to see the three of you in a rather familiar position; you in the middle, each of your sisters holding on to as much of you as they could, completely content. They’d always like to hold you like that, starting when you were a baby. Alexia would carefully put you on the couch in between them, and put a movie on. They would take turns telling you all the important details your brain was far too small to comprehend, but you didn’t squirm, and you didn’t fuss. You would stay plopped right in between them, one of each of their fingers gripped tight in your hands.
It was a lot different now, because you were all bigger. It looked like an uncomfortable pile of limbs on the couch, but Eli knew you were all as comfortable as you’d ever get.
-------
Neither of your sisters seemed very willing to let you out of their sight anytime soon, which you were sure would grow annoying very fast. For now, though, you enjoyed the attention, especially when Alexia pushed the wrapped box that had been sitting on the table into your hands.
And, you’d already forgiven them before you’d seen the camera they’d bought you, one that you’d been desperately wanting for a while. If you hadn’t forgiven them, though, you would have now. You could be bought, and your sisters were well aware of it. As was your Mami. She rolled her eyes as you stared in awe at the camera, as Alexia and Alba looked on proudly, sharing a discreet fist bump. Personally, Eli thought you’d let them off kind of easy, but she shouldn’t have underestimated you. You were a youngest child, and you knew how to get what you wanted.
“Can we go see your photos after dinner?” Alba asked, not even getting a glance from you, your attention completely zeroed in on the camera in your hands.
“Nope.” You replied. Alexia and Alba looked uneasily at each other, and then at their Mami for guidance, before you spoke again. “Alexia, you are going to clean my room. And Alba, you are going to make me those cookies I like. We can go see the gallery tomorrow.”
Your face was smug, and your mother stifled a laugh as your sisters looked disgruntled at each other. Begrudgingly, though, they both nodded.
“Anything for the princess.” Alexia mumbled, and Alba snickered quietly.
“What was that?” You asked, turning your attention to your sisters. They looked at you in defiance, smirks on both of their faces, not willing to let you completely walk all over them, even if they deserved it.
“You heard me.” Alexia teased. “The baby princess always gets her way.”
“Really, Ale?” You asked calmly, before turning to Eli, your new camera briefly forgotten on the table in front of you. “Mami, do you have any plans in two weekends? I was thinking we could take a trip just the two of-”
Alexia cut you off by rather aggressively throwing herself at you, covering your mouth with her hand. “NO HERMANITA!” The blonde shouted. “Oh, gross, nena, really?” She groaned, pulling her hand away when you licked it. You smiled triumphantly, managing to push away from her a bit.
“You are not a princess, nena. Just a little baby.” Alba chimed in, reaching over from her chair to pinch your cheek in one hand. “Now keep quiet before you ruin the surprise and give Ale a stroke.”
Your mother shook her head, taking pity on her eldest daughter, who looked prepared to explode at the thought of the surprise being ruined. “Do you think I do not know you were planning a trip for the four of us, Alexia? Honey, you asked me several times if I was free that weekend, and reminded me not to make any plans then either. You also asked me for hotel recommendations, and pretended it was for you and Olga. You are a bad liar, mija. I have known for weeks.” Eli laughed.
Alexia frowned, shoving you and Alba both away from her as you both collapsed into giggles, despite the fact that this was entirely her fault, and you and Alba were blameless. She knew there was teasing coming her way, but the smile on your face was well worth it. Order had been restored, and both of your sisters had made promises to themselves, and to each other, to not let their arguments hurt you anymore. You were just happy to have them both there, at home. All four of you together, how it was supposed to be.
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it will really always be funny to me that my sister and i do not say the words "i'm sorry" to each other. like we'd both rather die than apologize. she could hit me with her car and i wouldn't want her to apologize because... ew. anyway sometimes having a sister is cool and sometimes its not but i love mine.
everyone applaud me for not splitting this into two parts. seriously i am astounded at myself right now.
hope you all like it :) give me all your thoughts.
#woso imagine#woso x reader#woso one shot#woso fanfics#alexia putellas x reader#putellas!reader#platonic reader
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"Would you like a seat?" Gerry asks over his shoulder as Sam follows him deeper into the apartment.
"Only if it isn't a bother," Sam says despite the throbbing in his hip.
"Oh, it's no problem at all. Let me just--" The young goth rushes ahead into some sort of studio, clearly expecting Sam to follow.
Every spot in the room is either occupied with a painting, or painted on, or splattered, or filled with utensils, tools, and other stuff that is necessary for art.
Gerry sweeps a pile of pencil sketches from a chair and offers it to Sam, who sits gratefully, eyes still wandering over the atelier in overwhelmed amazement.
"I can make some tea?" Gerry offers.
"Oh," Sam says with an awkward smile. "I'm more one for coffee."
"Do you mind if I make one for myself, then?"
"No, go ahead."
The sounds of an electric kettle being filled and switched on reaches Sam, whose eyes fall onto the sketches.
He leans a bit closer to get a better look. It's not very polite, to go snooping into the drawings of a potential friend, but he can't help himself. He's always been so damn curious.
The first sketch shows a short, thin man with dark hair that is starting to go grey despite his young but tired face. His brown skin is covered in scars and his eyes are glowing. Sam blinks, and for a second he feels like the drawing blinks back at him. He quickly moves the sketch to the bottom of the stack and shakes his head. It's the sleep deprivation. He's not starting to see movement in traditional sketches.
The next few sketches show the same man, over and over again, eyes blazing, mouth set in a thin line, exhaustion weighing down a face that could once have been called handsome.
He's not the only one, though. There's a second man, tall and broad, with red hair and a dusting of freckles on his nose and cheeks. He's barely recognisable in the fog that surrounds him that gets thicker with every new sketch Sam discovers.
The last one is that of a man who wouldn't have looked out of place in Pride and Prejudice (as written by Cassandra Austen), with a neatly pressed collar and a cravat, as well as jewellery in the form of eyes. His grey eyes are intense, piercing Sam through the page.
Sam is about to put the sketches back when a piece of paper slips, and his heart stops. The woman on the paper is a detailed pencil drawing of Celia. It's almost scary how perfect that sketch catches her likeness. Surely Gerry would have needed more than one look at her to draw her so realistically? Sam fights the wave of jealousy that wants to overtake him. It's none of his business who Celia meets in her free time.
There is only that one sketch of her, and as Sam finds the last page, he's a bit disappointed to discover that there is just two sentences scribbled in nearly illegible handwriting.
The maze is sharp on my mind. The angles cut me when I try to think.
They are underlined with so much force that the pencil nearly broke through the paper. In the kitchen, the kettle turns off, and Sam quickly places the pages back in order.
"Gerry," he says when his host returns, mug of tea in hand, "who are these people you sketched?"
Gerry glances over his shoulder, then shrugs. "Now that you say it...I have no idea. These are from a while ago. Why, did I accidentally draw someone you know?" He says it with a smile, like it's a joke between artists. Did I accidentally draw you?
Sam's gaze drifts back over the man with the glowing eyes. "I don't know," he says softly. "I don't know."
#the magnus protocol#tmagp fanfic#sam khalid#gerry keay#gerry delano#disabled character#tmagp#tma episode 65: binary#tmagp chester#tmagp norris#martin blackwood#jonah magnus#jonathan sims#jmj error#my writing#ficlet#alternate history
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Friends - Chris Sturniolo
Summary: Chris and you were friends for a long time, but they became more than that, unfortunately, you still weren't prepared for what would come with this new relationship
Warnings: angst
Author's notes: This is my work, I do not authorize any plagiarism, copying or “inspiration”. English is not my first language, so I'm sorry if there are any grammatical errors, and this is my first story that I have the courage to post, so please be kind.
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You didn't know he was coming, no, of course not, there was no way you could have known, of course you knew him and knew there could be a chance he would come, you weren't stupid.
But if you were sure he was going to come, you would have dressed up more, put on another dress, one that showed off your curves the way he likes, maybe you would have done a little more with your makeup, and of course, you would have prepared yourself emotionally.
Because as soon as you saw him, on the other side, talking too close to that girl, you stopped walking, and you tensed up.
What the hell was he doing talking to that girl?
Your eyes were heavy now as you watched the scene intensify, and your breathing quickened.
You had to look away, or you would break, fall to the bottom of the abyss and shatter.
But of course, you couldn't, you watched as he ran his hands over her, the same way he ran his hands over you, and you watched as he kissed her, the same way he kissed you.
Chris wasn't an idiot, he knew he was a handsome man, and he knew that a lot of women were looking at him, but it wasn't the looks of many women that made him stop kissing that girl.
It was your look.
He distanced himself from the girl and his eyes automatically started looking for you, but when they found you, they regretted it.
You were fragile, as you stood still and watched him, he knew you had seen him with that girl, your posture and your gaze said so.
You turned around as soon as your eyes met, and now facing away from him, you took a deep breath, closed your eyes and started counting. Trying to calm down.
You had your eyes closed for a few seconds, minutes, or perhaps hours.
You don't know, you lost count.
But you knew one thing, you could stay with your back to him, without seeing him, for much longer, perhaps, years, centuries...
But of course fate had other plans.
You opened your eyes when something poked your shoulder, and looking back, there he was, Chris.
He had a confused look, a thousand types of questions ran through his head, but none came out of his mouth.
And as much as you wanted to be mad at him, call him names, hit him, you didn't have the right.
It was your fault and you knew it.
You both knew that not only were you friends, that shit didn't make sense, but you weren't together, you weren't committed.
You could be with whoever you wanted, and so could he, the problem was that you only wanted him, but him? He wanted them all.
He didn't do anything wrong.
He knew that.
Did you know that.
But that didn't stop the negative feeling that invaded his body, and dominated his heart and mind.
You were standing still, simply looking at each other. Without uttering a single word.
But each understood the other, he knew what you were feeling, and you knew that he knew.
Your lips parted, but no sound came out of them, you tried and tried and tried, until finally the words you were so afraid to say, rushed out of your mouth.
And they cut Chris like a sword.
"We have to finish, I don't know what we have, it doesn't matter, this is over."
He frowned, and was about to ask what you were talking about, but you were quicker.
"You know what I'm talking about, and you and I both know that I'm not ready for whatever we have, I'm not ready to share you with other girls, see you kiss them like you kissed me, and make them feel good like you do made me feel, I can't do it, I'm not ready."
You knew what was coming.
"Come on, we talked about this..." He started, but you interrupted him before he could convince you to backtrack, you know he could, he's had you walking in a circle this whole time, and if you didn't put a end of it, you would keep going in circles.
Always coming back to him.
"Chris, we keep going in circles and look what happened, we both know this story, and there are only 2 ending scenarios for it, a happy ending and a sad ending. The end of our story has arrived, and the scenario is the one of the heart broken, there is no 'but', we are slowing each other down."
"No, I don't want that, come on! Think before you act, one day I will find you in your laps, my mind is now confusion, we both know, that if you go, you will come back."
Your gaze softens at his words, and when you look at him, you smile slightly.
That seemed to give him a small spark of hope, because Chris's eyes lit up.
But before that flame could grow, you said no.
You rejected him, the same way he rejected you so many times.
And for the first time, you turn your back on him.
You turned your back, never to return.
You had already passed through the door, out of sight, but Chris was still looking at the door you left through.
He had lost you. And he felt something like longing fill him.
He had to lose you to appreciate it.
But now, you didn't want to be his anymore.
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#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo fanfic#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo imagine#sturniolo triplets x reader#sturniolo triplets imagines#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets edit#sturniolo triplets fanfic#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo triplets smut#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#sturniolo triplets#nick sturniolo fanfic#nick sturniolo smut#matthew sturniolo#nick sturniolo edit#nick sturniolo x you#sturniolo fanfic#nick sturniolo x reader
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Drowning
Warning: depression, suicidal thoughts and actions, anxiety. torcher, blood (If missed anything lmk)
Description: realizing that she was never enough for him and deciding the world might just be better without her in it
part 2
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The clashing of metal singings throughout the top of the mountains being carried off with the wind. Sweat beads on my brow my labor breath is becoming louder by the passing minute I lift my sword again towards the right missing the target that was Infront of me the big Illyrian, the general of the powerful Night Court armies the smirk forming on his makes me want to slap it right off. "Oh, come on y/n I know you're better than that." he swiftly movies and swings his blade at me I dodged it just in time dropping down to the ground swing my legs and knocking him off his feet flat on his back I jumped up and just my foot on his chest with pressure and pointing the blade of my sword at his throat "Yes I know I am." I smirk matching his that claimed his face just moments ago.
It has been just over 3 years since the war against the King of Hybern I just shortly after the war was won so much has changed with my found family and with the new additions to the family the Archeron sister, bless the mother for bringing us Feyre bringing her to Rhysand. I am beyond happy that he has found his mate, his other half that makes him whole. I see from the beginning that day we went to their mansion to ask to host the mortal queens to talk that the tension with Cassian and Nesta was going to lead to something more those two were cut from the same cloth what more than the perfect match the Lord of Bloodshed and Lady Death herself. I can't forget about sweet Elain, the way that Azriel looked at her like she was the reason for him to breath and her deep brown eyes seem to lighten looking up at him, it was kind of cliche in a way the darkness and the lightness meets and blends so well together.
I remember when Azriel went into the middle of the enemies camp to rescue Elain even though he could of easily of been killed and that day before the last battle he gave her truth teller. I sat stood across the way putting on my leather and armor when I caught the seen unfold something cracked in my chest, since the day that Nesta and Elain was thrown into the cauldron Azriel always kept a close eye and helping hand to Elain, I could tell from the way he looked at her that it was much more than just being a good friend helping our High Lady's sister adjust to High Fae life he was falling for her, first it was Mor he was pinned over her for the longest time that never seen to bothered me to much. Mor confined in me about her love for other women so I knew nothing was ever going to help between her and Azriel but that still never eased the hurt I felt the way he looked and acted with her. I don't know why I thought there was ever going to be a chance of me and Azriel becoming something more all he sees is the poor broken female hung between those trees deep in the cold forest bleeding pouring form the wounds on her back forming a pool of blood under her feet.
I shook my head trying to shake the memories away grinning again I held out my hand to Cassian he reached up and I helped him back up on his feet. "oh its good to have you back y/n!" he slung and arm around my shoulders and we made our way back down the stairs towards the dinning room. "You never leave us like that again, got it?" I side eyed him "I just needed some space Cass." I signed "To many things happened during the war and everything else going on it was just to much mentally..." Cassian stopped and turned me to face him he had a worried look on his face "I know you do not like to talk about things much but I hope you know that you have me.. you have all of us if you need someone to talk to about thing.." he paused and put a hand on my forearm "I mean it." I just looked at him gave him a small smile and nodded he just did the same.
We walked in silence the rest of the way to the dining room has we walked through the doors a glanced up at the large table sat in the middle of the room there he was and so with everyone else, i mean everyone. Cassian made is way over to Nesta and planted a kiss on her forehead and sat down I stayed in the doorway just staring at everyone. "Come join us y/n." I shifted my eyes toward Rhysand who was looking at me with is smirk he always seems to wear. "It has been far too long since we had everyone for a family dinner." I swallowed hard and blinked everyone now was staring at me waiting for me to come and sit was them or just waiting for a reply. I avoided looking in the direction and the shadow singer and the lovely flower that stay by him I turned and locked my eyes with Rhys "I'm sorry but I think I'm going to have to pass tonight, I am just far too exhausted" he gave me a worried look the same has Cassian did in the hall I felt him trying to break through my mental walls I just shut him out and gave a weak smile and turned to head back up to my room feeling a heavy stare on my back that sent shivers running down my spine.
#acotar#azriel x you#azriel x y/n#azriel angst#azriel x reader#acotar fanfic#sarah j maas#fanfic#azriel spymaster#azriel acotar#azriel acotar x reader#azriel shadowsinger#azriel#azriel x reader angst
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AITA for.... losing my rival his job? Feeding a homeless person? Inadvertently hiring a hitman? I don't even know anymore.
So a little while ago I started up a pizza shop. Typical, I know, but I just really believe in the wonder of pizza and what it can do for people. There was a rival pizza shop across the street, which made things a bit difficult, but I could get by.
Anyway, a few nights in, this guy comes in right before closing time. He's looking pretty bedraggled, obviously he hasn't got much to his name, and he asks me if I have anything left over from the day I wouldn't mind giving him. I didn't, but I'd had a pretty profitable day, so I made him a pizza and gave it to him for free. He thanked me profusely and left, and I thought that was the end of it.
The guy came back a few times. Not incredibly often, but it was a semi-regular occurrence. Every time, he'd ask me if I had anything for him, and I was continuing to get incredible profits, so every time I would say yes and go make him a pizza. Good pizza, too, not just like, cheese. I was putting mushrooms and sausage and stuff on it, I wanted him to have some substance.
For a while, nothing really notable happened. The guy kept coming in sometimes, and I kept giving him pizza. After a while, he seemed to feel we were buddies, which I figured was fair, seeing as I was repeatedly feeding him for free without asking me anything in return.
But then he starts acting a bit weird. More confident, I suppose. A bit less like a hungry guy just looking for food to make it through the day. But I kept giving him pizza, even though there was a broadcast on the news that someone had tried to feed pizza to the bears at the zoo and I (only briefly, at the time) suspected it was him, because I wasn't about to just let some guy go hungry because I thought he was acting kinda funny.
Then one day, he comes in acting REALLY odd. I was rather off-put, but I made him a pizza anyway, figuring it to be an isolated incident. Honestly, I thought he was just getting to be in a financially better place, but didn't want to stop getting the free pizza. I resolved that if he came in acting like that again, I would cut him off. But I make him a pizza, and I give it to him, but instead of thanking me like he's been doing he tells me I won't regret it. Which strikes me as weird, but he's already out the door, so I can't really do anything about it.
The next morning, I go to work, clock in, and look out the window at my rival's pizza shop. Remember that guy? Yeah. His entire pizza place was swarming with bears.
I had no idea how to process this, but before I could, my rival comes in and tells me that he doesn't know how I did it, but I win, and then he just leaves. And THEN the homeless guy I've been feeding comes in and says he made it so my pizza shop was the best on the block. And then he leaves. So I'm at least 99% sure that guy somehow released a bunch of bears into my rival's pizza shop because he wanted to repay me for giving him food.
I don't even know what to do in this situation. I feel kinda bad for my rival. I mean, don't get me wrong, he was a bit of a jerk, but he was kinda just a guy, y'know? I genuinely did not expect for anyone to release BEARS into his shop because they perceived me as a friend.
He ended up signing the shop over to the bears, who are now friends with the guy I was giving free pizza, who gave me a cut of the profits, and I think they made a pizza cult in the old building or something? I don't know. I didn't expect any of this to happen. Am I at fault for it, seeing as I ignored all those warning flags?
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November Save MEGA summary (part 8)
before / next
here it is... the penultimate chapter of november save, its been a long journey guys and im glad you all joined me on it. this was definetly my fave family and one that was really important to me because I made steve and june during a time in my life where things were very uncertain & I was going through a lot of changes, so they were pretty much my one contsant for awhile, anyways here are the photos!
so steve and june are still on their little fitness journey together, its a thing that steve has always been into but june wanted to join him cuz she got super into yoga
then as usual they couldnt keep it in their pants
june also got promoted to judge finally, she basically switched career branches after she left Landgraab Industries, but I didnt have any pics of her leaving... but now she works at the local court, and doesnt have to commute to the city anymore which she prefers
then it was Winterfest 🎁 and I decked the halls
lucky elijah got gifted a telescope but I don't remember what we got adelaide
adelaide spent new years with her childhood friend peter (luke's step son) in san myshuno I think she graduated from highschool by now but again, ive lost the photos from her prom... idk what happened to those
the bheeda girls were there too of course, theyre kind of like cousins to adie since shes very close with them even though theyre not even related AHAHAHA
she also met a mysterious stranger named jolene who she later kissed at a house party, she kind of stopped seeing landon because the two of them would always fight, and I think she just had enough
steve and moose cuteness
and a makeover for elijah in prepartion for his YA life stage (he sometimes wears contact lenses now)
THEN a major event in steve's life, but he spoke with june and she persuaded him to finally reconnect with his younger sister, Claire, who he has kind of been no contact with since he was a teenager (mostly because he cut off contact with his parents)
later in spring, the weather started to get nice, so steve and june threw a BBQ / get together with all their friends in the yard
sita and elijah also reconnected as they hadnt really seen eachother since they were toddlers and sita quite liked him :eyes:
then when everyone was gone, steve & june enjoyed some quality time together in the new pool...
meanwhile elijah and sita got cozy and 'watched' a movie teehee
ALSO big news from Raj FINALLY he couldnt make it to the BBQ cuz he and julia just had TWINS
adelaide also worked her final shift at the country club and she and her coworkers played some foosball behind their manager's back
before / next
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Hey!
Loved First Date (Retro!Reader X Vox)
I was wondering if you planned a follow on from that! I'd love to see more, like Vox introducing them to the other Vees or something!
Thanks for the hard work! Don't rush yourself!
“Don’t worry, you’ll do fine,” Vox said softly, squeezing my hand lightly.
“Are you sure? What if they don’t like me?” I asked, looking up at him. I was worried. These were the people he was closest to- besides me, but I hadn’t known him for long.
“They’ll love you,” he said gently. He leaned over and gave me a quick kiss, then pulled away with a knowing grin. “C’mon, let’s go inside.”
Before I could protest, he dragged me through the door and into the meeting room. Yes, he had arranged for me to meet his two business partners and best friends in a fancy room with a long table and fifty chairs. I was intimidated. Fuck fuck fuckkkkk.
“I don’t see what all the fuss is about, I can do vintage too you know,” one of them said with a huff, not realizing we’d walked in . Her hair was up in twin tails, she was fashionable, and she was taking a selfie. That one must be Velvette.
“It’s not vintage, it’s retro, and they’re different,” the other person said. He was unbelievably tall, like damn, save some height for the rest of us. He wore a pink top hat with two of his antennas sticking out, one of them damaged. He was bedazzling a pistol. “Honestly if you didn’t know there was a difference, I can see why you’re missing the mark with your fashion line.”
“Hey. Don’t insult my fashion,” Velvette snapped, slamming her phone down. “I could say just as many things about those sloppy new performers you hired.”
Vox cleared his throat, gripping my arm tightly before Valentino could respond. “Excuse me,” Vox said, sounding strained. He didn’t appear to be happy with these first impressions. “We have a guest.”
“What?” Velvette asked, turning her attention to me.
I was hiding partially behind Vox now. Valentino squinted, trying to see me clearly. I sort of poked my head out from behind Vox and looked at the two anxiously.
“Come on now, no seas tímida,” Valentino purred, gently setting down the rhinestones and glue gun. I stepped into view for him so he could see me, still standing close to Vox. “There we go. Come a little closer so I can see you properly, won’t you, mi cariño?”
I looked to Vox, who gave me a small smile and nudged me forward. I was completely out of my element here. “Sorry,” I mumbled, walking over to the table. Vox followed close behind, Velvette already seemed to be judging me. Seemingly by my walk alone.
“There’s no need to apologize,” Val said sweetly, standing up to welcome me. Goddamn this man was an entire ass tree. Fuck. And he was wearing heels??? He needed to be stopped. Why was he so fucking tall. I was like, half his fucking height. Fuck fuck fuck. “The names Valentino, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
He wrapped one of his four arms around my waist and started to make me walk around the room with him. He didn’t seem to have a good attention span, in fact, he was almost.. restless.
“Uh hi,” I said quietly, fidgeting nervously with the hem of my sleeve. “People down here just call me Retro.”
“Retro, hmm?” He stopped for a moment and bent down, inspecting me. I decided I did not like him, if not for his height alone, but for the way he was looking at me. Almost as if I was fresh meat. “That’s a bit on the nose, isn’t it? What was your name when you were living? Could you-” Vox cut him off, clearing his throat pointedly as if to say ‘cut it out’. Val stopped and looked at him for a moment, then pouted. “Fine. Say, Voxy, could you get me a light? Today’s been a shitshow.”
“A light as in a lamp or…?” Vox asked, raising an eyebrow playfully. Valentino huffed and crossed his top two arms, one of his lower ones still wrapped around my waist, the other holding a cigarette. Vox laughed softly, gave him a wink and zapped the cigarette with a bit of electricity, lighting it up.
“You’re not as funny as you think,” Valentino said dryly. “Anyway!” He picked me up and twirled me around abruptly, maneuvering me in a sudden dance.
“Val!”
“Oh shit,” Velvette said, taking out her phone. “This’ll be good.”
I did my best to move along with him. What was he even dancing to? This felt like a test. Fuck. I would have to tell Vox that his friends are weird. God I had no idea what o was doing. “I- uh, I don’t know how to dance,” I said nervously as I tried to follow along. “Sorry.”
“No worries, you’re doing wonderful, hermosa,” Val said with a smile. It seemed genuine. He kept trying to make more sexual and intimate moves, but I was able to avoid it fairly well. A casual side step or transition into another move entirely did the trick. Before he could say another word, though, Vox yanked me away, almost harshly.
“Ah, fuck,” I muttered, stumbling a bit. I nearly crashed into Vox, but I was able to stop myself just short. He shot me an apologetic glance, then glared at Valentino.
“Careful, Val,” he said, his voice filled with underlying menace. “We wouldn’t want to make our guest uncomfortable.”
“Spoilsport,” Valentino mumbled, rolling his eyes. He took a drag of his cigarette and blew a puff of smoke in my direction. I felt myself relax a bit. “You’ve got yourself quite the catch, you know. How did you say you found this stray again?”
Velvette had stopped recording and come up behind me. She tugged on my arm gently guiding me away from Vox and Val, beginning to take my measurements. “You’re quite the looker, you know,” she said quietly, mostly to herself. I didn’t resist her at all, I just sort of absentmindedly obliged with whatever she was doing. “It’s no wonder Vox likes you so much. God, he never shuts up about you.”
“Velvette,” Vox growled. A warning. Valentino came up to me again, helping Vel with the measurements. He ruffled my hair gently and blew another cloud of smoke at me, this time, directly in my face. “Valentino, stop that!”
“What? It’s just a bit of harmless fun,” Velvette said with a grin. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and pulled me up against her. I felt dizzy and dazed. “I think I’ll have them as a model. Maybe they could perform for Val sometime. They’d make for a better show than those sloppy strippers he just hired.”
“Nobody is- no! Stop that,” Vox said, his screen flickering. He pushed the two aside and held me close to him, now more protective. “They aren’t a toy!”
“Maybe not, but you know the rules,” Valentino said slyly, putting out his cigarette. “The Vees always share.”
“Well not this time! Not today,” Vox said, holding me tight. His nails dug into my skin. I didn’t really notice. I was hardly aware of the conversation at all anymore. I watched Val put out his cigarette, feeling slightly disappointed but not knowing why. The smoke had been so pretty… “Retro is mine, got that?”
“Whatever you say,” Val said, rolling his eyes.
“No games, no tricks,” Vox said. “Nothing like that. Don’t mess with them.”
“Fine! I get it.”
“Good.” Vox linked his arm in mine and led me away, out of the room. “Come on, let’s get you some rest. Val’s smoke really did a number on you.”
#hazbin hotel#vox#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin vox#writing#my writing#vox x reader#reader insert#x reader#vox fanfiction#hazbin valentino#hazbin hotel valentino#hazbin hotel velvette#hazbin velvette
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When I say it is more effective to pray for someone than bludgeon them over the head with you are wrong what I mean is this:
Almost my entire life - perhaps not during my very early childhood, I don't remember; there was a catastrophe when I was twelve that changed everything - my mother has been in rebellion against God, if not full-on apostasy.
I grew up listening to her rail and scream at God, accuse Him. Listened to her say that she knew better than He did. Accuse Him of creating evil and being a cruel God. Just - all sorts of things. I remember perhaps twice that she ever apologized for anything when I was growing up, and one of those was with a caveat. She simply did not believe she was wrong about anything, ever.
Both of my sisters have told her to her face "You are not a Christian" and cut her off entirely. When I say that I am the only person left in the world who will speak with my mother outside of a business setting, I am not exaggerating in the slightest. (Save, perhaps, with the exception of my eldest son, who likes her visits quite a bit.)
I did not bite my tongue at all as a teenager. Since I have been an adult, most of my relationship with my mother has been biting my tongue. She is one of those people whom one wrong word will set off a chain reaction that there's no coming back from. So I stayed beside her and I bit my tongue and I prayed.
I prayed. I commended her into God's hands and acknowledged her glaringly obvious faults to Him and I prayed, I prayed for her. I pray for her now. Constantly, unceasingly, every minute I am awake, supplication for her, worded or wordless.
Y'all.
Another catastrophe has arisen. Any day now, she will be homeless, carless, old and feeble and struggling just to survive. And yet.
Of late, I stopped biting my tongue as much. I started urging her to pray. I know you don't feel like you can, I know you feel dirty, I know you're still in rebellion and feel abandoned. You need to pray. You need to pray. Just start. However. Just start praying. You need to pray.
She started praying. She spent days praying. She started reading her Bible and her devotionals. She told me she spent hours on the floor praying and sobbing until she felt empty.
She's begun filling up again. She's begun admitting culpabilities that I never thought to hear from her: culpabilities that I had long recognized and thought and disapproved of, but knew it would be worthless to say so. She admits them freely and openly. She has gone from permanent vituperation to peace. She has given up sins she has held close since before I was born.
She told me, today, about the devotional: the passage on the Good Shepherd leaving the 99 and going after the 1. And how, when He returned, He bid all His friends come and rejoice with Him.
Oh, I have been rejoicing. I have been rejoicing over her for these past couple weeks.
She is still terrified, and depressed. What is looming is terrible indeed. Neither of us is at all certain that she will survive until this time next year, but if she does not, I will have no fear: I will see her again, one day. I am certain of it.
So when I say it is better to pray for those who are astray than to belabor them with accusative "You are not a Christian", I mean it.
(And personally I think that someone with an unclear understanding of Jesus but who still acknowledges Him as the Way the Truth and the Life, is probably 'closer' to being a 'real Christian' than someone in full rebellion. But maybe that's just me.)
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3.112 Cutting ties
Love Day came upon us again, and it was so nice to have someone to celebrate with. Someone to celebrate, period. Sophia and I rarely did things traditionally, and I continued that trend by asking her out on a breakfast date. I suggested Vivianna's because it was the first place that came to mind, and I really liked their food. But Sophia was in goofball mode and said I wanted to see my girlfriend. I didn't like her saying that, but I loved seeing her in high spirits in those days, so I let it ride. When we got there, the host seated us at the same table from last time, and that sent her even more.
"It's a sign, Luca! If she's our server again, it's means you were meant to be."
I shook my head at her.
"You are way too high on life right now."
She gasped, still giggling at her silly joke.
"Luca! She's here! I think she's coming this way!"
I was still shaking my head when Yasmine walked up.
"Happy Love Day," she said drily. "Y'all don't have restaurants in Oasis Springs?"
"Of course we do," Sophia said before I had a chance to even think of a response. "But we love this one."
"Hmph. You must really love this food. I wouldn't unfriend someone and still show up at their job. Are you ready to order?"
Sophia looked at me in surprise but also trying to hide more giggles.
"Uhh...yeah, we're ready," I said, unsure if I should even respond to the first part.
When I finally looked at her, I saw her face matched her dry tone. Generally, she wasn't the cheeriest sim, but something was off. Granted, I was probably the last sim she wanted to see, but she should have been over that. Something else had to be going on, and I asked if she was okay.
"What do you care? I can't do this right now. I'll send someone else."
She hurried away into the kitchen, leaving us utterly confused.
"What in the world was that?" Sophia asked. "And you unfriended her?"
"Yeah! She's been sending me mean messages ever since-"
"You broke up?"
"Would you stop with that?? She wasn't my girlfriend!"
I couldn't understand why she found this situation so amusing. It annoyed me, but her laughter was so contagious. I couldn't help but laugh, too.
"Did she look different to you?" I asked.
"Sure did. I think she's pregnant."
"Pregnant? Yasmine? No way."
"She's definitely pregnant, babe."
"How do you know? She's not showing."
"Women know these things!"
"Hmph. Some sims don't need to be parents," I said under my breath. At least I thought I did.
"Luca!"
"What? It's true. She doesn't want kids right now. And she's mean...self-absorbed... Can you imagine her raising children?"
"I mean...I don't disagree, but... It's still not a nice thing to say. Maybe taking care of someone else will be good for her."
Nice or not, I meant every word. It was hard not to get upset about it. Sims all around us kept popping up pregnant unexpectedly while Sophia and I woohoo'd each other's brains out to no avail. WE want a baby! Why won't it happen for us? It wasn't fair. But I didn't want to ruin our date with my petty, jealous thoughts. That rant would have to remain in my head.
"Anyway... You excited about moving tomorrow?"
"You know it! I can hardly believe it."
"Yeah, seriously. I've been thinking about that house for so long... I have to keep reminding myself this is real life."
My Social Bunny chime went off, so I checked to see who sent me a message.
"Oh...it's Maira."
"Why do you say it like that?"
"Like what?"
"Like you're surprised your friend is messaging you."
"I'm not surprised. It's just...I don't know. Every time I hear from her, I feel bad."
"How come?"
"Because I'm such a bad friend to her."
Sophia's lip quivered.
"I highly doubt that."
"It's true though! I never call her. She's always the one reaching out. Even back in the day it was like that. When I was open to dating her-well, she says we did date, but whatever. I got mixed signals, so I kinda stopped putting energy into our friendship. Then I met Yasmine-"
"While you were talking to me," she said sarcastically.
Like a light switch flicking on, I understood why she continued to joke about me and Yasmine. She still felt some kind of way about realizing she wasn't the only one I was talking to, and this was her brand of petty behavior. I shook my head because I knew she would never let that go, and the jokes were a permanent part of our marriage.
"Yes, I was talking to you. I met Yasmine and Chi Chi-"
"I thought you didn't date her."
"I didn't. She came to my classes a lot and invited me to her house a few times."
She eyed me suspiciously, but I continued my story.
"Dating, having female friends, and all of that was new to me. I didn't know how to say no to her. I couldn't say no to her; you know how she is. And I was talking to you on top of dealing with my own issues... It was a crazy time, and I didn't know how to handle it all, so I ended up neglecting Maira. I feel bad because it wasn't like that in the beginning."
"You didn't have any distractions then."
"Yeah...that's true."
"Do you think it's time to let her go? Everyone's not meant to be in your life forever."
"I know. That might be part of the issue. I want to be a good friend while being respectful to you, but I honestly don't know how she fits into my life anymore. But severing the relationship? I don't think I want to do that. At least not yet."
"Okay." She turned back to her food and took a few bites before a very obvious idea let up her face. "Since we're moving now, we should do a combo celebration! We can turn my birthday party into a housewarming party! Invite her to that."
"Oooh good thinking! You know I married you for your brains."
"Ah ha! The truth comes out."
#ISBI challenge#sims 4 story#sims 4 gameplay#adolting#adolting gen 3#luca winston murillo#sophia aguilar#yasmine angel
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Windows: Notes on Prejudice and Consequences
A recurring theme that I think is found in Merlin is the use of windows as a symbol for watching the impacts of Magic and the prejudice against those who have it from a (seemingly) safe distance. As if the effects of persecution don't cut deeper than the purge it attempts.
1x01: Morgana turns her face away from the beheading of Thomas Collins in defiance and denial, as she watched from her window. While she has not yet accepted that she has Magic herself, she acts as a fiercely outspoken ally to those who were persecuted in the great purge. Morgana also turns her face away as she tries to deny her inherent qualities and avoid suffering the same fate.
Referenced in 1x04
“I can’t stand by and watch him die.” “Then don’t look.”
Arthur is recognizing the extent of his father’s elitism and rigid views, which enrages him and inspires him to defy Uther.
Callback to Morgana turning her face from the window in S1E1 because she cannot bear to see Thomas Collins die.
Arthur and Morgana know that they cannot stop the horrible fates that await those who have Magic, and Morgana cannot bear to watch.
1x09 Morgana and Arthur speak at the window in half-light, as she begs Arthur not to fight the Black Knight. Morgana knows Arthur’s future is dire, but she can’t tell why she feels that way. Morgana has an innate ability to sense the dark Magic that revived Tristan's spirit.
The half-light represents the half of herself that Morgana has to hide not only from herself, but also from those she loves.
Merlin and Arthur look down through the window to where the Black Knight stands still, not eating or sleeping. There is no uncertainty that the Black Knight is conjured from Magic, and that the Magic is sure to kill whomever blocks its path.
2x07 Morgana watches the building of the Witchfinder's pyre outside her window. The punishment for sorcery has only increased in severity in the time that she started to accept her true nature. The glass of the window represents the final, fragile barrier between Morgana and the fate she would suffer if she were found out.
(Gwen is so afraid for Morgana to be found by Auredian because she is always and forever an ally.)
2x08 Arthur must convince himself that Magic has no place in Camelot and that he was wrong to think it ever could. As he stands at the window, half in darkness, he separates himself from Magic and can’t look Merlin in the eye.
“I am indebted to you, Merlin. I had become...confused. It is once again clear to me that those who practice magic are evil and dangerous. And that is thanks to you.”
Arthur can sense that what he is saying is wrong, but Merlin does not usually lead him astray. Merlin has always been his voice of honest advice and earnest reason. If Merlin tells Arthur that Magic cannot be legal in Camelot, he has no choice but to believe him. Arthur is fighting his instincts to embrace what he knows is right and fair because of the judgments from those around him.
Arthur looks out the window, away from Merlin, looking down on and keeping himself carefully separated from the people he started to believe he should protect.
4x03 Merlin watches Uther’s vigil through the same window where Arthur declared all Magic was evil in S2E8. This time, Arthur joins Merlin at the window and suggests that they use Magic to save Uther’s life.
If Magic can save Uther’s life, Arthur may change his attitude, and Merlin has real hope for the first time that he could be able to finally live freely.
Arthur would not confide this desire in any other person because he knows that Merlin holds no judgment toward others.
“If you were me, and it was your father, would you use Magic to save his life?” Merlin’s answer is immediate and confident, giving Arthur all the resolve he needed.
The vulnerability and openness in Arthur’s face is as fragile and clear as the glass of the windows they stand by -- so delicate that Merlin is afraid to blink. If he blinks, Arthur's vulnerability might crumble. If he changes his mind, the opportunity might be lost forever.
5x11 Arthur stands at the window and contemplates if he should free Mordred and Kara, despite their Magic. This time, he claims it is his decision to make.
Arthur stands on his own, and Merlin is proud of him for choosing to give Kara a chance to repent. Arthur chooses to pardon a person with Magic, so long as she repents for killing innocent men.
Kara refuses to apologize and seals her fate.
“I’ve made a terrible mistake, haven’t I?”
Arthur sits at the window and recognizes his error. Arthur could be referencing any number of things. He may be regretting his decision to execute Kara, not making an exception for Mordred, or the lasting impacts of his lifelong position on Magic.
I maybe could expend on this a bit, as it is all very precariously pieced together at the moment. Feels like it should ultimately be more of an essay than a list of notes like this? idk lol
#merthur#morgwen#merlin#bbc merlin#merlin bbc#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#morgana pendragon#guinevere pendragon#please I literally can't stop talking about Merlin#all of my friends are going to cut me off if I don't stop#windows symbolism
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yeah i can't come to class today, sorry. yeah. yeah. it's cause my hair's too long. mhm. gonna put me out of commission til the weekend at least
#fuck it's too long it's too long it's too long hate hate hate hate hate kill kill kill#i am resisting the urge to cut it all off with scissors but just barely#i havent been able to go home lately and my clippers are there. fUCKK#ITS TOO LONG SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE#i cant stop thinking about shaving my head again or at least cutting it short#it's summer i should have short hair summer is for short hair FUCKK THIS IS WEIRD#i feel like a sad stonermetal mushroom. in middle school. and NOT in a cool way if that wasnt clear!!#hhhhhhhhgnnnghfhn fuckk i feel so gross and weird#i didnt even do anything why are my spoons gone FUCKK. SHITITTTUJ DAMMIT#this is so dumb i literally skipped my second class for no reason and i have so mucj work but i didnt even do anything#i shoudktn be this out ofnit. euhhhhhghh#and i have a new friend and he really really wants to hang out and i dont hav.e the spoons#but i feel so bad.. and i have other ppl i wanna hang out with but i cant bring nyself to readh out#and even if they reached ouy i probably wouldnt be able to respond and i have to go see a show thid week too#bc theyre doing into the woods and i love that shit and i promised id go ans ive been lookign forward to it for months#but i cant. bwuhhhhhhhhghhhh#and i cant just tell the new friend i don't wanna hang out twice this week (one is the play) bc i blew him off all last week#i really dont wanna hurt his feelings but i really can't communicate like he wants me to. and ive kinda said that but still#mmmmmmnnnnuguhghh hes only doing it bc i mean a lot to him but it's moving so fast ans I can't really be there forbhim the way he probably#deserves.. i should probably eat skmething idk. eughhhhhhhhgghhghhggh. melting into a pile of slop and slurry rn#just gonna sink into my bed and not sleep and feel bad. hoorayy
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Kinda tempted to go back to identifying as aromantic but from the perspective of "I have chosen to love everyone that I have dated. I can choose to stop." but I don't know how well that would go over.
#I mean easily parts of us can identify as such just not collectively#so i guess that's why I'm saying it here#like. it's not wrong#some part of my brain has always decided that for whatever reason loving someone was in my best interest.#and only then did I develop interest Like That.#Usually we would like someone and want their attention want to be their friend and they'd develop interest#and we'd adjust to match their energy because they wanted that from us#for a while we argued amongst each other#that it wasn't valid if we didn't agree. pondering if this is ever valid#i saw people say it was popular to say that we don't choose to love#but i just don't relate to that#i know exactly how my brain works. and i can successfully convince it to love someone. and i can successfully convince it to stop.#i don't think being calculative is wrong#and honestly i think our feeling these things aren't genuine just because we can control it. it doesn't seem fair.#i'm fully capable of love. and there's nothing wrong with me deciding to love because it seems like it'd benefit us both.#and if we're already feeding each other anyway i just don't see anything wrong with accepting what's happening.#i don't like the expectations that get pulled with it.#i want to be able to independently decide what and when i want. i don't like labels.#i like that we're an anarchist but not everyone can even be on the same page about what that means#i know we left the aromantic community because they got too specific and a lot of ideas became too stiff and twisted in to reactionary#misunderstandings but how long can we keep leaving communities and cutting ourself off in to something nebulous#because of a problem that'll folllow us no matter where we go?#i think we can define ourselves any number of ways#i don't think any of them are wrong#bigger fools than i have claimed identities that were more maligned than my own#and when it's inevitable who's to say it's wrong#we're all who we are at the end of the day. these words can't contain or quantify us#they can be shortcuts but they can't define us#this is just how i live. it's about give and take#vv
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being friends with someone who constantly throws pity parties for themselves is fucking exhausting.
#this isn't about anyone that follows me here or that i follow here.#but i have a friend in a group where just..... every time someone says something good about us as a group#they feel the need to put themselves down on main and interrupt the conversation.#it's fucking tiring.#the comment was 'i can't believe we're all academics' and i responded 'it's wild but great'#and then they just go 'i feel really dumb but i guess i'm an academic sometimes' and then the convo gets derailed#like the two of us were literally celebrating that we're all nerdy academics together but now it's managing their emotions on how stupid-#-they feel.#i am so tired. this happens all the time.#i get it. i get it. when i had horrid self-esteem (as if i don't have that now) i felt the need to do this#but like. it's not productive and it's killed the vibe. and i wish they would knock it off but it's unfortunately a pattern of behavior#that happens all the time. and i wish i knew what to do about it bc it's getting on my nerves.#like i said. nobody here is doing this. this is a different person. if you think it's about you No It Isn't#(and if you think you know who i'm talking about no you don't)#idk i just wind up in the position of talking them down all the time and trying to steer them in a more positive direction#and i'm running out of energy for it and it's wearing on me.#they're fun to talk to sometimes but i think over the last few years i've turned into their therapist friend.#'how do i ask someone out' 'do i drop my crush bc i haven't confessed and they aren't acting the way i'd hoped'#'why do i feel like shit all the time' idk man stop fucking asking me#i'm not cut out for this. One Single Class stressed me out so badly i wound up in therapy again. like. i'm Unqualified.#and i'm dissatisfied that i'm stuck in this role and idk how to get out of it
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feeling kind of off today
it was fine but idk
took a turn
struggling to keep myself alive
#idk#kind of gave up at some point after school#a lot of stuff doesn't feel like it's fitting right#my mum is going into brain surgery in a week#i'm scared#i forgot to sign up for a volunteer thing with my friends and i feel bad because i said i would do it but i kept fucking forgetting#and it sounds like such a stupid excuse but idk#and this isn't even a big deal but i found stretch marks on the backs of my hips today#and i guess i just never noticed them before but i hate hate hate marks on my skin#and it does piss me off whenever i pick at my skin i just can't help it (for all the people that know me irl)#i just don't feel like i have the right skin#like i took it from someone else and i don't deserve it and i have to give it back the way i got it but i fucking can't#because i've cut it up and picked at it and stretched it out and it'll never be the fucking same no matter how badly i want it to be#and i just want everything to stop#i'm gonna go cry now#thanks for listening
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ive just been feeling kind of barfy today and like for what reason >:(
#:p#everyone told me i was wrong that i didnt wanna continue being friends with that girl and i am feeling weird about it#maybe im toxic#im trying tho and i just wanna stay alive you know#:|#am i just a bitch#ik im mentally ill but like. you also know that. ive only been safe for a few years#i cant fix everything wrong with me in a few years#also im never gonna stop interrupting people#thats why i don't talk to anyone because i interrupt them#i can't read social cues its really hard for me to tell if its important if im not told#like im just cutting myself off i don't wanna interact with anyone except for my 2 immediate family members#feel like im softly going insane#and yeah its gonna be all about me until i stop drowning#just tell me im the fucking crisis friend and you can't support me#not like i ever even felt like i could ask
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