neil looking at andrew threaten someone: my mom said i coudnt date gurls but she said nothing abt guys
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Kevin: I am at a loss for words
Neil, thinking: Despite being at a loss for words, Kevin yelled at us for the next forty-five minutes
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Andrew: would you still love me if I was a worm?
Neil: you're not a worm
Andrew: yeah, but what if I was?
Neil: why would you be a worm?
Andrew: it's a hypothetical question
Neil: well, if you were a worm we wouldn't have met each other
Andrew: no, if I suddenly turned into a worm. Like right now
Neil: that's not possible
Andrew: ok but if it was? Would you still love me?
Neil: well if you suddenly turned into a worm for no reason, I'd just turn into a worm with you so we'd still be together. Problem solved.
Andrew *definitely not crying*: stfu
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Allison, looking at Seth: Just when you think you've hit rock bottom, you wanna fuck a blond guy.
Dan: Allison. Allison honey YOU are blonde.
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kevin: i sleep with a gun under my pillow
renee: i sleep with knives
andrew: you’re both pathetic
nicky: oh yeah, what do you sleep with?
andrew: neil
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neil: newsflash asswhipes! rat poison only works because rodents dont have a gag reflex. if you gave a human rat poison- they would immediately throw it all up! so not only would i have survived your attemt on my life- it would have also made me skinnier.
the camera man who was supposed to have him read off and respond to mean twitter comments about him : ....i dont think we can post this anymore..
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Andrew: here's something you need to understand, Neil. I would burn this whole damn world for Aaron. I'd give him my kidney or my liver if he needed it. I'd murder anyone who hurt him, break the hand of any bastard who dared to try and hit him.
Neil: you tried to stab him when he stole one of your fries literally twenty minutes ago.
Andrew: you're damn fucking right I did. Those are my fucking fries.
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i like to imagine that coach hernandez watches neil’s exy career continue and when he, like everyone else, discovers about his dad being the literal butcher of baltimore is just like “damn, i knew there was something off about that kid”
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andrew: hey. do cry. i went to Wanting To Fuck You island and there were no bitches
neil: why were you on wanting to fuck me island? 🤨📸
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So we all know Neil's wardrobe was terrible pre-foxes. But d-do you think it was terrible enough that he wore camo? Because like I hate to say it but I feel like he's the type. And can you imagine
Neil: *shows up at PSU in a baggy fraying t-shirt and camo cargo pants*
Andrew: *internally* This man is a tragedy... I want to get in his pants. But not those pants.
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Nicky, to Aaron: Since you’re the only straight person in the group-
Kevin: Um, I’m straight?
Andrew and Neil, in unison: No you’re not
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Riko *threateningly*: am I a joke to you?
Neil *shrugs*: kinda yeah
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