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natashxromanovf · 9 months

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Dancing with your ghost

James Potter x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 1081

WARNINGS: mentions of death, mentions of food

REQUESTED: part of @sereinegemini’s writing challenge, angst and a little bit of hurt/comfort

SUMMARY: James went missing on a mission a couple of months ago. This is how the reader tries to cope with it, with a little help from an old friend.

A/N: this is based on the song “dancing with your ghost” by Sasha Alex Sloan!! cannot believe i haven’t written in so long oh my god??? this has been in the making for a while now and i finally brought myself to finish it. i hope you all enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it <3

Searching through the pile of records you finally find the one you were looking for. Putting it in a song starts to play, one you’ve heard way too many times before but not the one you wanted to hear. Sitting down on your sofa you pick up the cup of tea from the table, putting your feet up. It’s one of those afternoons again, one where everything seems harder than it should be, especially after 4 months. The warm liquid in your cup helps calm you down a bit but even then, tea can only do so much. Sometimes you wish there would be a way to make a potion that would make you feel better or that would help you forget for a bit but sadly, even with magic, that isn’t possible.

You get lost in your thoughts until the beginning tunes of a slow song start playing, bringing you back to Earth. You thought you had already used up all your tears but a new batch comes pouring out of your eyes. They’re not full-on sobs but more quiet tears, the ones you got used to in the past few months. Wiping them off you stand up, twirling around for a bit. You know you look silly but you couldn’t care less, the memories of all those sleepless nights coming up in your head. Closing your eyes you just let them play out, a small smile appearing on your face. But before the song finishes up somebody knocks on your door, waking you up from your daydreaming. Making your way to the door you open them, a familiar face appearing in front of you. Taking him in you look him up and down, the plastic bag in his hands catching your attention.

“I brought you food,” Sirius says before you could question him and you nod, letting him in. “Y/N…” he starts but you stop him with a look, walking to the gramophone and stopping the music. He sighs, immediately knowing it’s one of the harder days. He places the bag on your counter, taking out the food and putting it on the two plates he grabbed before. He finds the drawer with forks, takes out two and sits down beside you on the sofa. You silently take one plate and bite into the dish. The food is amazing but you can’t bring yourself to take another bite. You stare at the plate for several minutes until Sirius takes it out of your hands, placing it on the table. “Thank you for trying,” he whispers, pulling you into him. These past few months have been incredibly hard for both of you. Sometimes you forget Sirius is also going through this, not only you. Ever since James went missing the two of you have been spending more time together, mostly because you understand each other’s pain. Most days were spent in the quiet, the world around you moving but you simply sitting there, wrapped up in different thoughts. Some days you would talk, talk about all the good memories you share, talk about how the world isn’t fair. This is one of the quiet days. At least it was, until he decided to speak.

“Get up, I’m taking you somewhere,” Sirius suddenly says, making you look at him weirdly. “It will make you feel better, I promise,” he adds and you reluctantly take his hand. He guides you through the door to his car, sitting you down on the passenger side. He sits down behind the wheel, starting the car and driving down the street.

The drive takes about 20 minutes until you suddenly stop, God knows where. There are no houses in sight, only the road that leads to here and grass. Miles and miles of grass. You let your eyes travel to Sirius’, a million questions popping up in your head.

“I used to come here a lot after my family disowned me,” he starts, a couple of metres away from you. “I drove around a lot, trying to clear my head, trying to forget for a bit. One time I went away from my usual road and I ended up here,” he continues, putting his hands into his pants pockets. “After looking around I realised nobody lives near and that nobody can hear me. So I just screamed. I screamed and I screamed until my throat was sore. I shouted at the world, I cussed out my whole family, and I cried about how life is unfair. And believe it or not, it helped. It helped so much Y/N and I kept coming here night after night until one day everything stopped being so goddamn hard,” he explains, tears appearing in his eyes. “You don’t have to do exactly what I did, but you need to find something that will help you cope. You can’t wait at home every day, hoping that he will come back because frankly, he could be dead for all we know,” he whispers, a sharp pain appearing in your chest. “I know you don’t want to hear that, I don’t either but it's the truth,” and you know he’s right, he usually is. James Potter may be dead. It hits you for the first time, really hits you. Somewhere in the back of your mind you knew but you needed to hear it to fully think of the possibility. And suddenly the world stops, making it hard to breathe. This time your body rocks with sobs and you cry so loud that you think the whole world hears you. Falling to your knees you grab your chest, thankful for the soft grass under you. You sob and scream and god knows what else until you’re physically too tired to continue. Only then Sirius appears beside you, lifting you up and wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug. You're grateful for his support because you don’t think you could stand on your own. Catching your breath you lean into him, listening to the words coming out of his mouth.

“I know it doesn’t seem like it now but one day, it will get easier. I promise you that, Y/N,” he mutters, caressing your back. You thank him in such a small voice you don’t even know if he heard you. Honestly, that doesn’t even matter right now because you know he knows. Just like you know that even if James doesn’t come back, you will start to feel better eventually because that’s just how life goes.

HP taglist: @yoongisbiwife @cunningambitousdetermined @sexysirius @pregnant-piggy @lilylovegood @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts @leossmoonn @pottahishotasf @johnmurphyisqueer @mirclealignr @griffxnnage @cupids-crystals @fairydxll

james potter: @reg-arcturus-black @henqtic @youreso-golden @daedreams @pinkcloxds @sheraayasherrecs

hope you enjoyed this! don’t forget to like, reblog and/or comment, it really helps writers with motivation <33

if you want to be a part of my taglist send me a message :)

#james potter x reader #james potter #james potter fic #james potter angst #james potter fanfiction #james potter fanfic #marauders era #marauders era angst #marauders era fic #marauders era fanfiction #marauders era x reader #taja’s requested fics

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mr-voorhees-husband · 2 years

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I loved your hc and fic so much, Could I request a short fic of Tssm!Quentin and the reader going on a lil date :D

YES YESYEYSYSEYS

yes. 100% 1000%

Partially for myself because I wanna be Quentin's gossip partner but I can re-write it to be more romantic if you so desire my friend (also this was written on mobile too, so it will be properly formatted later i promise)

Warnings: a lil body horror in Quentin's story?, Reader + Quentin go on a cute date and do.. idk date things (man I'm aroace idk how dates work)

Reader - Mostly gender neutral but Quentin uses masc compliments

"What happened to 'hanging low'?"

Quentin scoffed at your question, dismissing it with one of his signature smirks. For someone who had the smartest person in the city as his bestfriend, he didn't make the smartest decsions sometimes. His ego wouldn't let him and he was lucky you liked that about him. If you didn't, Quentin would be minus a partner. "Please, Mysterio never hides, especially not when it comes to bringing his handsome partner on a date, my love."

"Mhm," You hummed, taking a sip of the expensive champagne he'd bought, "and what will the wonderful Mysterio do if Spider-man happens to crash our date?"

"Ah-" Quentin got a look on his face, an odd flurry of panic and concern. He'd obviously not thought of it, and it had you biting back a smile from the otherside of the table. It'd been his idea, or rather, his insisting that ended you two in this high end restaurant. It really was nice, expensive as all hell, but nice nonetheless. You were lucky you talked him out of going to another one down the street, a semi-formal dress code was much more appealing than a black-tie one. "Well- he'd beat him, and take his date to a much better restaurant."

"You mean like how you beat him last night?" You were teasing, of course. Quentin could tell from a mile away when you had that glint in your eyes that you didn't mean harm. He flushed with a pout, before clearing his throat and sitting up straighter.

"That was Shocker's fault, he shot at me." You nodded at his words, deciding against pointing out how it was in fact Quentin who got in the way of the blast. "Oh- did I tell you about what happened before the fight?"

That was another thing you adored about you villainous actor, he gossiped. So much it wasn't funny, but oh, it was more than just a little entertaining. Being his partner meant you were told everything he knew... which meant you basically knew everything about the Sinister Eleven.

It'd probably be best if you didn't meet them at this point, anyway. You don't think you could look Sandman in the eyes after learning how his clothes work...

"So, Flint, O'hirn, Adrian, and Mason are all in the like.. living room area?" You raised an eyebrow and he waved his hand, something, you learned, he did often. "Not important, anyway. You know how Rhino can take off the chest and pelvis piece, right?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah, you told me." You had to think about it for a moment, but he most definitely had told you at some point.

"He'd taken off his chest piece because he needed to cool down, so he's laying on his and Ox's designated area, cooling down." Quentin was in it now, hands moving as he talked. You'd have to start making a list of all the things you liked about him, you realized. How animated he was would definitely be one of the top 5. "Sandman goes over, and says something along the lines of 'do you think i can fit in the rest of the armor?' So of course Alex wants to see if he can."

"Oh god."

"It gets worse." Quentin's smile was on the edge of being sadistic, eyes lit up as if this was the funniest thing in the world. "Sandman slips into the armor, and its all fine and dandy. Until he realizing, he, for some reason, is moving."

"No. Please don't tell me he-?"

"It took them two hours to sort him out of Rhino's tissue." You cringed, the little details given being enough to give you the full picture. Quentin giggled like an insane person, and you couldn't help but chuckle in response. "I mean- why would they even thing that was a good idea?"

"Aren't these the same two guys that Spidey used to beat on a daily basis back before Mysterio?" His nod had you shaking your head in disbelief. "Jesus you'd expect them to know better."

"Exactly!" Quentin's sudden raise in volume had people looking your direction, but you just glared in response. So your boyfriend was loud, so he could be a bit chaotic. So what? That didn't mean they could say anything, especially not while you were here.

A blissful sigh had you looking back at him, your eyes finding his in a stare that had you blushing. Another thing you liked about him, you noted, was how he looked at you. Like you were some kind of deity. It was equal parts embarrassing and adorable. "What?"

"I like it when you get angry for me." Quentin reached over, smirking like the little stuck-up idiot (affectionate) he was, and picking you hand up in his own. "It makes me happy I found someone to brag about."

"Wow," you flushed, chuckling, "that's a hell of a change of pace."

Quentin smiled, pressing a kiss to your knuckles as he downright purred his next words. "Its why you love me."

With a roll of your eyes, despite how your heart was fluttering and your face rivaled the color of a peach, you scoffed.

"That and a couple 100 other reasons," You pulled his own hand to you, flipping the script as you kissed the ring finger knuckle, "my love."

#quentin beck #tssm #tssm mysterio #the spectacular spider man #tssm quentin beck #mysterio #i litterally couldn't wait to write this #i'll edit it in the morning i promise #but oh my god #Quentin <33

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spaceman-earthgirl · 3 years

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Supercorptober 2021 Day 2: Secret

Kara’s really not good at this. And admittedly, Lena isn’t great either, but Kara is definitely worse.

Lena feels Kara’s hand ghost along her lower back, her fingers grazing the material of Lena’s dress as Kara steps in close. They stand shoulder to shoulder, Kara standing closer than strictly necessary as she looks down at what Lena is working on.

Lena looks up, does a quick check of everyone else in the tower, but finds no one is paying them any attention.

“How’s it going?” Kara asks, as if it isn’t the third time in the last two hours that she’s asked the same question.

Lena presses her lips together, tries not to laugh. “Good.”

“Good,” Kara grins, eyes scanning the mess in front of them. “What’s that?” she asks, reaching out to point at a component on the desk, but as she does so, Kara’s fingers brush hers, lingering far too long for Lena to think there’s any other motive behind Kara’s gesture except she wants to be close to her.

“What are you doing?” Lena asks instead of answering, mostly to distract herself from the warmth of Kara’s hand, fighting the urge to tangle their fingers together.

“What do you mean?” Kara asks, the picture of innocence as she turns to face Lena. “Can I not say hello to my best friend?”

Kara’s close now, so close, close enough to see the freckles scattered across her cheeks, close enough that she has to use a lot of self control not to glance down at pink lips. It was already a real struggle to keep her eyes off Kara’s lips before they were dating. But now she knows what Kara’s lips feel like, what her kisses taste like, and now she really has to make an effort to keep her eyes up and not just lean forward and kiss her.

It seems like Kara loses the same battle herself, or maybe she wasn’t even trying in the first place, but blue eyes slip down and fix themselves on Lena’s mouth.

“You can,” Lena says, with another quick glance around, conscious of the fact they’re not alone. They’re meant to be keeping their relationship a secret, and it’s a secret that won’t last long if Kara keeps this up. “But best friends don’t usually stare at each other’s lips like that.”

“But we’re not just best friends, are we?” Kara asks, smile soft and God, Lena wants to kiss her so badly.

“No, we’re not,” Lena smiles, feeling stupidly happy in this moment. She’s spent every minute since Kara told her she loves her feeling stupidly happy.

“And I’ll have you know, I stared at your lips a lot before we started dating,” Kara grins. “And you didn’t notice so I don’t think anyone else will now.”

Lena laughs. “Touché.” When Kara had asked her out, she’d been entirely blindsided by the question, she’d had no idea her best friend had feelings for her. But then again, Kara had been surprised by her answer too, completely unaware of Lena’s feelings in return. “But don’t act like you also didn’t miss a few things too.”

That was only one week ago, and since then, they’ve been trying to figure out this thing between them, wanting to keep it to themselves for now without all the added pressure of their friends knowing.

“Supergirl, we have a situation downtown.”

It’s J’onn’s voice that calls out through the tower, startling them both. Lena’s almost certain Kara was going to lean forward anyway and kiss her, and Lena probably would’ve let her, secret be damned.

“Duty calls,” Kara smiles, quickly reaching out to squeeze her hand before she heads towards the balcony.

“Stay safe,” Lena calls, earning a wink and salute before Kara is gone. Lena’s gaze lingers on the empty balcony door, even though Kara could be miles away by now.

“If you two are trying to keep it a secret that you’re dating, you’re doing a terrible job.”

Lena startles again, turns to find Nia watching her with an amused expression. “I-“ Lena clears her throat. “Kara and I? Of course we’re not dating.”

Nia rolls her eyes. “You know this room isn’t that big, we could all hear your conversation.”

“I…” Lena looks around, embarrassed to see J’onn nodding as Alex jumps into this conversation too.

“We all know Kara is terrible at keeping secrets, but you’re just as bad. If you really wanted none of us to know, you definitely shouldn’t have been making out in here the other day.” Alex turns up her nose. “I did not need to see that, thank you very much.”

“And you two definitely looked like you were about to kiss just then too,” Nia says.

“That’s pretty normal though, even before you got together,” Alex adds.

“Don’t forget staring lovingly at each other! That was also pretty normal before you got together but at least now most of those looks are when you’re looking at each other, not just while the other isn’t looking,” Nia continues.

Lena is absolutely mortified, the two of them basically just talking to each other, listing all the ways that they’ve been caught. She knew it would get out soon, but she didn’t think it would take less than a week.

“Why did none of you say anything?” Lena cuts in, worried there’s even more.

Alex shrugs. “Because you two were clearly trying to hide it.”

“Even if you were both bad at it,” Nia laughs.

Lena rolls her eyes. “Okay, I get it, we’re bad liars.”

“Nah,” Alex bumps Lena’s shoulder with her own. “You two are just too in love to be able to hide it. But that is my sister,” Alex says, a sudden steel in her eyes. “If you hurt her, I hurt you.”

“I’ll do my best not to.”

“Good,” Alex nods. “And can you promise me one more thing?”

“Anything.”

“Please please never make out in here again.” Alex visibly shudders. “Or anything more than that.”

Nia is laughing again, Alex has her face screwed up, and Lena is just glad that Brainy isn’t here at the moment, it’s bad enough that J’onn is still across the room working. She wishes Kara were here for this, it would at least take some of the embarrassment away.

The bonus part though, is that when Kara returns, she won’t have to hide her feelings anymore (even if she was doing a poor job of it before).

Fic link: ao3

Series link: ao3

#supergirl #supercorp #kara danvers #lena luthor #supercorp fanfic #supercorptober2021

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indiee19 · 3 years

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In My Room

Alex Turner x reader

Summary: You meet (TAOTU!) Alex at a pub in Berlin, and he takes you back to his hotel room.

warnings: smut, fingering, hint of oral sex (f! receiving)

word count: 3330

A/n: part 2, anyone?

✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑ ✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

The bartender gave you your third drink of the night, taking away the empty beer bottle that was in front of you. You were by no means drunk, knowing how to control your alcohol, but you were slightly tipsy, a faint buzz would be how you would describe it.

You didn't come to the pub to get drunk anyways, just wanted a break from everything that was going on in your life at the moment.

"Excuse me, but ... is this seat taken?" a man asked. You turned around to answer him. You were about to tell him yes, that the seat was taken, even though it wasn't, but you didn't. Instead you answered, "No, it's not."

Earlier on in the night, you'd been asked that question a lot, and every time you said that it was taken, but there was something about the boy that had asked you. He was calm, polite, and most importantly, he didn't call you random names unlike the other guys that asked you earlier. And apart from all that, he was cute and you couldn't deny that.

"I'm ... I'm Alex, by the way," he said, holding out his hand for you to shake. You took his hand and introduced yourself. He repeated your name, the sound of him saying it music to your ears. "That's a really pretty name," Alex stated.

You blushed at his compliment. "Thank you, Alex," you said.

"You're welcome, love," Alex said. He ordered his drink, taking it slowly. In the back of your mind you knew that you recognized him, but couldn't quite put your finger on where you knew him from.

"So, what do you do for a living?" you questioned, slowly drinking your beer just like Alex was, in the back of your mind you wanted to go home with him so you didn't want to be drunk, though you kept telling yourself that it wouldn't happen.

"I'm in a band. Well, two actually," he answered, taking a swig of his drink. Then, it hit you. You knew him from Arctic Monkeys, he was the lead singer and you realized that you also knew him from The Last Shadow Puppets and knew that they were touring here in Berlin for their album The Age Of The Understatement.

"Wait, you're Alex Turner, from Arctic Monkeys and The Last Shadow Puppets, right?" you asked. Alex nodded in response and you screamed internally. The lead singer of your favourite band was making conversation with you. And knowing that he sang only made him seem more cute to you than before.

"Not to be one of those pesky fan girls, but I just wanted to say that I love your music," you said. He put down his drink. "Thank you. I'm glad you like it," he replied, turning towards you and smiled.

Your face flushed and you looked away, looking down at your drink. All of a sudden, you felt someone tap on your shoulder and turned around. When you turned around, there was a clearly very drunk man.

"You here alone?" the man slurred, leaning on the counter. You tried to think of an excuse to say, but every time you tried to speak, you just stumbled over your words.

"No, she's not. She's here with me," Alex said, wrapping an arm around you, pretending like you were together.

"O-okay. Let me know if you want to ditch him though," the man said and walked away. You turned to Alex.

"Thank you, Alex. You have no idea how much it means to me," you thanked him, finishing off your drink.

"It's alright, love," he said, finishing off his drink as well, except his was a lot more full than yours was. "Do you ... do you want to come back to me 'otel room and chat there?"

"Y-yeah, sure. I'd love to," you said. He smiled and the both of you got up from your seats at the bar. You reached into your bag for your wallet, about to pay off your tab, then Alex stopped you from paying.

"I got it, love," Alex said and got out his wallet, paying for you and him. Alex payed and put his hand on the small of your back, leading you out of the pub.

He flagged down a taxi cab and opened the door for you, getting in after you and he told the driver where his hotel was.

The ride was mostly quiet, the silence leaving when you asked Alex a question. "Why'd you pay my tab for me?" you asked after a few minutes of silence, fiddling with your fingers.

"Well, I payed your tab because-" he stopped when the driver stopped the car at Alex's hotel. He got out and waited for you to exit the cab before talking to the driver.

"Danke, dass du uns abgesetzt hast. Wie viel schulde ich dir?" Alex asked, speaking perfect German.

"Vierzig Euro," the driver said. Alex got out his wallet and paid the driver. He drove off and Alex walked to the door where you were.

"I didn't know you could speak German," you said.

"Not many people do. I learned it from me mum," he replied, placing his hand on the small of your back, leading you inside.

He walked you to the elevator, pressing the call button. Once the doors opened, he let you get inside first, walking in after you and pressing the fifth floor button. You both stood there in silence, like it was in the taxi, not awkward silence, but silence, like you didn't know what to say.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. You both walked out and Alex led you to his room. You were almost there when someone stopped you. You immediately recognized him. It was Miles Kane.

"Hey, Al," Miles said, hugging Alex. "Who's this beauty that you've got with you?"

You smiled and introduced yourself. Miles took your hand and gave it a light kiss, making you laugh. Alex looked at you and smiled to himself, his face lighting up and his heart fluttering when he saw you laugh. He felt as if the heavens were humming a stun gun lullaby.

"What a charmer you are, Miles," you laughed.

"Oh, please, call me Mi," he said.

"Okay. What a charmer you are, Mi," you repeated. You all chatted for a bit, talked about about things. Like how long they were going to be on tour, how they met, and if they had plans to release another album. As you talked, they kept goofing around. Sometimes Miles would put Alex in a headlock, or Alex would play with Miles's hair. It wasn't in a weird way, it was more in a brotherly way and you found that adorable.

You thought that you three would chat for the entire night in the hallway and you wouldn't mind that but Miles unfortunately had to leave.

"Alright, I won't keep you two for any longer," Miles said, hugging you and Alex goodbye, lightly kissing your cheek. "I hope to see you again, love."

You returned the statement and and said the same thing back to him. You started walking down the hall, stopping and turning around when Alex didn't catch up to you. You saw Miles whispering something in his ear and slipping something into the pocket of his pants.

Alex looked down at the ground and said something back to him. You tried to read their lips and got something along the lines of, "Mi, you and I both know that won't happen, even as much as I want it to," from Alex, though you couldn't be sure since you weren't very good at it and they were quite a few feet away.

Miles winked at Alex and walked away, Alex walked towards you.

"Sorry about that, love," he said, leading you to his hotel room. Room 521. He pulled his keycard out of his wallet and unlocked the door, allowing you to go in first.

The room was beautiful. Wine in a bucket full of ice, a small lounge off to the side and a large bed in the center of the main room, the bathroom across the lounge.

"Make yourself comfortable," Alex said, putting his wallet down on the small table by the door, grabbing his pack of cigarettes and his lighter, walking out to the balcony and you followed after putting your handbag down beside his wallet.

He opened the pack, taking out a cigarettes and lighting it. "You want one?" he asked. You shook your head and Alex nodded, closing the pack and putting it and the lighter down on the small table. He took a long drag from it, taking the cigarette in between two of his fingers, blowing the smoke out of his mouth away from you.

You walked back inside and sat down on the bed, looking around the room. It was a few minutes before Alex came back inside the room, taking his time with his smoke, thinking. He eventually finished his smoke and flicked it off the balcony, grabbing his lighter and putting it in the pack of cigarettes, walking back in and putting the pack on the table with his wallet and your bag.

Alex came and sat down beside you, turning on the lamp beside the bed.

"You want anything to drink?" he asked.

"No thanks, Alex," you replied. He nodded. Alex was about to say something but stopped himself. He got up and went to the small fridge in the corner of the main room. He got out a small bottle of whiskey and opened it, pouring it in a small shotglass. He downed the whole thing in one swig, putting the whiskey back in the fridge and putting the shotglass down.

He didn't do it to show off, he did it regain some of the confidence that he had earlier when he asked you to come back to his hotel room. He walked back over to the bed, sitting back down beside you.

You went to say something but before you could Alex kissed you deeply, using the whiskey he'd just downed as confidence. Though, he pulled away when you didn't kiss back.

"I-I'm sorry, love. I shouldn't 'ave, should I?" he said. You smiled and kissed him before he could say anything else. You kissing him took Alex back for a second, but he quickly kissed you back. He bit your bottom lip teasingly, demanding for entrance into your mouth and you complied, his tongue easily fighting yours into submission.

His tongue explored your mouth, he tasted like the whiskey he had, the beer had drank at the pub, and a cigarette that he'd smoked just a few minutes ago. He cupped your face with his hands, your arms going around his neck.

Alex pulled you over to him, situating you in his lap. You pulled away to breath, pushing a small piece of hair out of Alex's face. "Thought I had made a mistake there," he laughed, his hands rubbing up your thighs.

"Well, I promise that you didn't. It just took me by surprise," you said. He smiled and kissed you again, working his way down to your jaw. He flipped you so that he was on top and you were on bottom. He kissed down your neck, settling on your sweet spot.

He pulled away tugging on your shirt, you sat up a little, Alex helping you pull your shirt over your head. Alex pulled your bra down so that your tits spilled over it, dipping his head down, wasting no time to suck one of your nipples into his mouth, one of his hands fondling your other breast.

Alex took his time with his kisses, switching over to your other breast when he saw fit. He started to kiss down your chest, stopping just before your jeans. He looked up at you. "Can I take these off, love?"

You nodded eagerly, watching him smirk and begin to undo your jeans. You lifted you hips so that Alex could pull them off of you, throwing them to the floor as well as removing your panties.

Alex kissed up the insides of your thighs, stopping below your dripping wet heat, sucking on a spot on your thighs below your core. "Alex, please," you said, locking eyes with him once he looked up.

"As you wish," he smirked, pushed your legs apart and pluton eon your legs over his shoulder, immediately dipping his head down to your core. His tongue lapped at your folds, coming into contact with your clit, pressing down on it. Your hands moved to his hair, tugging on it. His fingers went to your entrance, circling it, spreading your arousal around.

He pushed two of his fingers inside your dripping wet cunt, curling and twisting them. You moaned loudly in response, pulling on his hair harder, a moan falling from his lips which sent vibrations up your body.

Alex sat up, using his free and to wipe his face that was now slick with your arousal. He started to pump his fingers in and out of you at a pace of his own liking, watching the expressions on your face that was caused by the pleasure that he was giving you.

You started rolling your hips onto his hand, desperate for more friction, the slow, teasing pace he had set not nearly enough for you. Alex's thumb coming in contact with your clit, rubbing slow, torturous circles on it.

You kept rolling your hips, trying to get his fingers to pump in and out of you at a faster pace.

"Yes, baby, make yourself feel good on me fingers," he hissed, stopping the movements of his fingers, letting you grind your hips on him, allowing you to set a pace of your liking.

You rolled your hips faster, your moans filling the room. Alex moved to be sat over you, kissing your neck again, sucking on your sweet spot.

You felt yourself getting closer to your orgasm, hands finding their way back into Alex's hair, pulling on it more.

Alex pressed his thumb down on your clit harshly, curling his fingers deep inside you, sending you spiraling. You pulled on his hair as the waves of pleasure washed over you. You felt as if you were on cloud nine.

You came down from your high, ceasing the movements of your hips, whimpering when Alex removed his fingers from you. Alex sat up and removed his shirt, standing up to take off his pants and boxers. He reached into the pocket if his pants, pulling out a condom. He climbed back over you, straddling your hips.

He ripped open the silver packet and rolled the condom onto his length, giving his cock a few pumps, positioning his cock at your entrance, his tip teasing your folds, his cock being coated with your arousal.

"Alex, please, I need you," you whined. He smirked and jolted his hips forward, sinking inside you in one swift push. He gave you very little time to adjust to his size before he started to move. He moved slowly, going at the same pace his fingers were before.

You rolled your hips onto him again, the small amount of friction that he was giving you not nearly enough.

"Look at you, trying fuck yourself on me," he laughed, grabbing your hips to keep them still and began to speed his thrusts up and your eyes shut automatically. He leaned down, his arms holding him up above you. Alex delivered a particularly hard thrust and then stop, your eyes opening, searching for his.

"I want you to look at me, okay," he said and you nodded, he started his thrusts again, the pace gradually increasing. You already found it hard to keep your eyes open even though he had just started to begin thrusting into you again.

You grabbed Alex's biceps, moaning louder and louder with each thrust. You couldn't remember the last time you felt this good, and you didn't think that someone had ever made you feel this good before now.

Alex thrusted hard into you, his cock hitting that spongey spot that made you see stars. "Do that again, Alex," you said, your voice trailing off into a moan when Alex repeated the motion.

"That?" he teased, stilling for a moment. You nodded eagerly, moaning loudly once again when he repeated the motion for a third time.

You felt a knot grow in the pit of your stomach, your orgasm approaching quickly. One of Alex's hands left from beside your head to go to your clit, rubbing on it in sync with with his thrusts.

"God, Alex, I-I'm so close," you whimpered, bringing your hands into his hair. Alex's head fell on your shoulder, kissing your neck, sucking on your sweet spot, starting a hickey. Alex delivered a very hard thrust and simultaneously pressed down on your clit which tipped you over the edge.

You pulled on his hair, eyes rolling back into your head, back arching off the bed into Alex. The feeling of your walls contracting around Alex's cock was enough to trigger Alex's own orgasm. His hot release coating the inside of the condom, biting down on your neck.

Alex kept moving his hips, riding out both of your orgasms. Alex stilled his movements after you both came down from your highs. You let go of his hair, smoothing it down.

"Wow," you panted.

"Yeah, wow," Alex said, raising his head from your neck and kissing you lightly. He used his remaining strength to pull out of you and walk to the bathroom, disposing the condom. While he was gone you gathered yourself and began to grab your clothes. You fixed your bra and then Alex came back out of the bathroom.

"What're you doing?" he asked, getting a pair of boxers out of his bag and putting them on, starting to pick up his clothes and throwing them by his bag.

"I was ... I was just getting dressed so I could leave," you said.

"Y-you don't have to leave. I-I mean, if you don't want to," he said, his voice cracking mid sentence. He seemed much more shy now, the alcohol that fueled his confidence wearing off.

"Are you sure because I can leave-" he cut you off by kissing you deeply, much like before. He pulled away after a minute to speak.

"Stay, please, unless you really want to leave," he said, cupping your cheeks. "Okay," you replied, putting your clothes down. He smiled and your heart melted. He was so adorable.

He pulled back the duvet and sheets on the bed and you got in, Alex followed and you cuddled up to him. You raised your leg to go over his, whining a little when his skin rubbed up against your clit, still sensitive to even the smallest contact.

"You want a pair of me boxers to sleep in?" he asked, raising up slightly.

"Yes, please. If you don't mind," you replied. He got up and went to his bag, getting out a pair of his grey boxers, walking back to you, handing you them.

"Thank you, Alex," you said, moving the duvet back, sliding the boxers on. He climbed back into bed and kissed you. You nuzzled into his chest and he kissed the top of your head.

"Alex," you said. He looked at you and asked, "What is it, love?"

You looked back up at him, locking eyes with him. "What were you and Miles talking about?" you asked.

"He said that I'm very lucky to 'ave you and said that he hopes that I 'get some' tonight and gave me the condom," he laughed. You laughed as well and he turned off the lamp, kissing the top of your head.

He fell asleep first, his little snores lulling you to sleep a few minutes after him.

#alex turner #arctic monkeys #jamie cook #matt helders #alex turner arctic monkeys #alex turner smut #smut #alex turner x reader #alex turner fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #taotu era #taotu #miles kane #the last shadow puppets

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bellakitse · 3 years

Text

Greener on the Other Side

“I’m sorry,” he gasps, not believing what she’s just said. “Say that again, please.”

“I said he’s married,” she repeats herself softly, giving him a pitying look. “And he has a kid."

Alex hasn't heard anything about TK Strand in over four years. That's about to change.

Alex Fletcher walks into Gramercy Tavern twenty minutes later than he agreed to meet his friends. He already dreads what is sure to be a lecture on his constant tardiness from the group, but more so, what he knows will be pointed looks when they see he’s come alone instead of with his boyfriend.

Spotting them to the left of the restaurant, he starts to make his way over to them. “Sorry, sorry,” he starts to say with a charming smile as all five of them look up at his voice, hoping to curb the scolding before it starts. “The 6 train was an absolute mess. It got the 33rd street and then refused to go forward.”

Liz and Becca share a look at his excuse, and Alex has to keep from rolling his eyes at them. He gets it. Being late is one of his less desirable character traits, and they find it annoying, but after over a decade of friendship, he thinks they should get over it by now.

“Yeah, the trains have been acting up all week,” Malcolm offers while his wife Patricia gives him a small smile, the two of them ever the peacemakers of the group. “Sit down, man.”

Alex offers his friends a more sincere smile, shaking hands with him and his other buddy Chris before giving all three women kisses on the cheek.

“Where is Dean?” Patricia asks politely, and Alex winces at her mistake. It’s been a while since he and Dean ended things, but it’s also been a while since Patricia has joined her husband at one of their dinners.

“We broke up a few months ago,” he tells her, his face feeling tight from his fake smile. “I’m dating someone new now. His name is Wallace.”

“Oh,” Patricia says softly, going a little red in the face at her blunder. “My apologies, Alex.”

He waves her off, wanting to move on from the embarrassing moment quickly. “No worries, Patty,” he says to her. “And Wallace wanted to come, but he had to work,” he explains, trailing off lamely, not believing the lie himself, but it’s not like he can tell his friends that Wallace simply didn’t want to come because he thought it would be boring.

His friends all give him understanding, if not quite believing looks, and Alex wonders just how pathetic his expression is that they don’t push for more.

The mood around the table is awkward and quiet, making his skin feel tight. Thankfully their waiter comes over to take their drink order, easing the moment, giving him something else to focus on.

He starts to loosen up once there is a vodka soda in his hand. He listens to Liz as she talks about her latest architecture project, laughs at the funny story Chris tells them about his 1st-grade class painting the class bunny with washable markers. He’s enjoying their company, forgetting for a moment that his boyfriend should be there with him getting to know his friends when Becca’s eyes light up as Chris wraps up another story about his students.

“You guys will never believe who I saw yesterday walking out of FAO Schwarz,” she starts, her brown eyes lighting up with the chance to share some juicy gossip.

Alex leans in, already intrigued by the look on her face.

“Who?” Liz asks with a grin, curious herself.

“TK Strand,” Becca answers, saying the name with emphasis, and Alex gets why even as he feels shock go through him. It’s been over four years since he has seen or heard from TK. Not since the night he stopped him from proposing, confessing he was in love with someone else.

Mitchell, he thinks bitterly as he takes a large gulp of his drink. In the end, he’d turned out to be Alex’s own personal karma for hurting TK.

Walking in on him and another guy from their gym eight months into their official relationship had been a kick in the teeth and a hard lesson to learn.

He shakes his head to clear it from the lousy memory just in time to hear Becca’s following comment, shocking him more than her first. “I’m sorry,” he gasps, not believing what she’s just said. “Say that again, please.”

Becca looks at him, hesitating as she bites down on her lip, looking remorseful for a moment, probably remembering that out of all of them, he’d be the one with the most invested interest.

“I said he’s married,” she repeats herself softly, giving him a pitying look. “And he has a kid. They were coming out of the toy store when I bumped into them, and he introduced them to me. His husband’s name is Carlos, and their little boy is Luca. Really cute kid – was talking a mile a minute about all the toys in the place, and given all the bags they had, they must have bought him half the store.”

“Wow,” Chris breathes out, his surprise evident. “I can’t believe he’s married and with a kid. How old do you think?”

“Four,” Becca answers instantly. “I asked Luca, and he held up his fingers.”

Alex shakes his head again. It’s been four years since he and TK were together, and he has a four-year-old son. “That doesn’t make any sense,” he says mostly to himself.

“I get the feeling he’s adopted,” Becca answers. “Or maybe Carlos’ son,” she continues with a shrug. “But he called TK dad.”

“What was the husband like?” Liz questions, and Alex is grateful because he can’t bring himself to ask.

“He was polite and friendly,” Becca pauses, shooting him another look before continuing. “Ridiculously hot, and hopelessly in love with TK. I spent maybe ten minutes with them, and you guys should have seen the way he looked at him. It was like TK hung the moon.”

The table is quiet for a moment. For his benefit, he’s sure, as he tries to process everything he’s learned, when Liz speaks up again.

“Good for TK. He deserves that and more,” she says with a smile on her face that takes a hard edge when he shoots her a glare. “What?” she questions, her whole expression challenging him. “You didn’t take care of him when you guys were together, and he’s a great guy. I always liked him even though we lost touch after you broke up. I’m glad he’s found happiness.”

Alex bites down on the urge to lash out at his friend, not only is it a losing battle with Liz, but deep down in the parts of him where he has buried his guilt and shame at his past actions, he knows he can’t argue with the truth she just laid on him.

֎֎֎

The rest of the dinner is awkward to say the least. Even though they move on from TK, Alex can’t stop thinking about his ex and what he’s learned. He pulls Becca to the side as they’re leaving, grilling her for any more information she might have.

She finally tells him TK had mentioned they were staying with his mother and little brother – one of the few things he did know about TK and his family since Gwyneth and his father ran in the same legal circles. He’d learned about the woman’s surprise pregnancy almost three years ago.

Becca looks at him as he absorbs the information before letting out a heavy sigh, reminding him not to do anything stupid.

He’d given her an absent nod that even he didn’t believe. Which is probably why he’s outside of Gwyneth’s Park Avenue apartment in a hat and sunglasses like a stalker, hoping to catch a glimpse of his ex and his husband.

Whether luck is on his side or karma wants to teach him another lesson, he doesn’t have to wait long. He’s been outside of the swanky apartment building for maybe 15 minutes, trying to decide what exactly he thinks he’s doing, when the front door opens and out walks the person he wants to see.

He ducks behind a tree just in time to not be spotted, peeking behind it to look at the small family.

TK, at 26-years-old, had been a beautiful man; Alex remembers that well. But now, at 30, he’s even more stunning if that’s even possible. He walks out of the building with a tall, muscular man Alex instantly recognizes as the ‘ridiculously hot’ mystery husband. Each of them with a little boy in their arms.

“So what are we doing today?” he hears TK ask with a grin on his face as the little boys instantly start to chant, ‘Park, park, park!’

“I wanna see the penguins, Dada,” exclaims the little boy in the arms of TK’s husband. Carlos and Luca, he remembers.

TK smiles softly at his son before looking at the child in his own arms. “What about you, little brother? Do you want to go to the Central Park Zoo and see the penguins?” he asks, tickling his chin, getting a happy giggle along with a nod from the little boy.

TK’s grin grows before he looks over at his husband, getting a nod from the man too.

“It’s unanimous then,” TK proclaims in an animated voice that has the boys lighting up. “To the park! To the penguins!”

The pair of boys let out a ‘yeah!’ leaning over at each other to share a clumsy high-five that has the adults laughing.

“You just had to rile them up, troublemaker,” Carlos scolds TK, and he might be a stranger to Alex, but he can tell it’s said with amused fondness.

“You love me,” TK teases his husband, going easily when the man reaches out to tug him in closer by his shirt, turning his face up as his husband leans in to kiss him, tilting to the side to keep the boys out of the way.

Alex swallows hard at the display. Even from where he’s hiding, he can see TK’s bright smile and dancing green eyes once he and his husband break the kiss.

“Always, my love,” Carlos tells TK as he kisses the side of his face adoringly.

“Dada, Papa,” Luca groans out. “Kissing later, park now,” he continues, much to the amusement of the two men.

“So demanding,” TK teases, leaning in to kiss the little boy’s cheek too, laughing at the face he makes. “Okay, let’s go.”

They start towards the park, and Alex hesitates for a moment. He’s seen and heard TK and his family with his own eyes and ears. It’s obvious his ex is happy and not at all thinking about him. He should turn around in the opposite direction and leave before his luck runs out and they spot him. It’s the reasonable thing to do, and yet he finds himself following them about half a block back, keeping his head down.

He can’t hear them from this distance, but he can watch them. He takes in the way the two men hold hands while each holding on to a child, listening and chatting with the two little ones. Everything about them screams family, and Alex can’t deny the dull ache it causes inside his chest.

Is this what he and TK could have had?

He follows them through the park until they come to a series of benches. He watches as TK hands over his little brother to his husband, the man easily carrying both kids. TK sits down, but no one else does. Instead, he waves at them as his husband walks away with the children, leaving TK alone.

Alex hesitates again. This is his chance to approach TK, and yet he’s frozen in place by indecision.

A moment later, his ex takes the choice out of his hand.

He startles as TK turns his head to look straight at him with a raised eyebrow. “Are you just going to stand there?” he calls out to him casually, the picture of calm as he places his arms on the backrest of the bench. It’s different from the TK he remembers, who was always constantly bouncing his legs with nervous energy.

“How did you – “ he starts, feeling awkward and off-balance.

“I didn’t,” TK answers with a shrug as Alex gets closer to him. “It was Carlos who realized. He’s a cop. Noticing weirdos is kind of his job.”

Alex cringes at the descriptor as he comes to a stop in front of him. “Hi, TK,” he says lamely, wincing again at the high pitch sound of his voice.

TK raises an eyebrow at him again. “Hello, Alex. Any particular reason you’re following us in that get-up?” he questions, pointing at his hat and sunglasses.

Alex feels his face grow hot at the question. He reaches up, taking them off. “Becca said she saw you,” he says uncomfortably, getting a casual nod back from his ex. “And I got curious,” he continues weakly. “I couldn’t help myself.”

“That sounds like poor impulse control,” TK mutters to himself. He moves to the side, leaving half the bench open for Alex to decide if he wants to take a seat or not.

Alex would be embarrassed by the speed with which he takes the offer, but the joy at being allowed to get closer overrides that. Neither says anything after he sits down, him because he’s nervous, TK it seems because he’s simply waiting him out.

“So,” he starts slowly. “You’re visiting?”

TK looks at him, seeming to study him before giving him a nod. “We try to see my mother and my little brother Robbie every few months. Sometimes they come to see us, but New York is always pretty in the spring, and Luca has never been.”

“That’s your son,” he blurts out, his face going hot again at the look TK shoots him.

“Becca shared everything, did she,” he questions with a dry smile, shaking his head to himself.

“The group had dinner,” he explains, not needing to add who exactly was there. There was a time when TK would have sat right next to him at one of those dinners, charming everyone with stories about fighting fires and daring rescues.

“Ah,” TK exhales softly. “It’s nice you all still do that. They’re good people. I liked them.”

“They liked you too,” Alex answers, giving TK a half-smile. “Liz was thrilled to hear that you’re married and have a kid. She’s happy you’re happy.”

TK smiles, this time more genuine. “That sounds like her,” he comments, looking nostalgic for the first time. “She was always kind to me,” he finishes, not adding anything else.

It goes quiet between them again, causing Alex’s nerves to fray at the edges. He’s not used to this TK. The one he remembers always filled the silence, even if it was just with nervous chatter.

“So, are you?” he can’t help but blurt out, swallowing nervously when TK gives him a curious look. “Are you happy?”

TK lets out a huff, and while he doesn’t smile or laugh, Alex can see a hint of amusement in his bottle-green eyes. “Is that why you’re here? You want to know if I’m happy?”

He feels the hairs at the back of his neck stand at the mocking he hears in TK’s voice. “Is that so crazy?” he questions defensively. “The last time we spoke wasn’t precisely the best encounter – “

“That’s because I was getting ready to propose to you and instead found out you were fucking around my back with a spin instructor,” TK interrupts him, surprising Alex with how calm he is. There is no anger or reproach in TK’s voice like Alex anticipated, just a simple fact. It hurts Alex more than he expected to witness how unaffected TK seems. “How is Mitchell by the way?”

Alex clenches his fists, his nails digging into his palms as embarrassment courses through him. He wants to stand up and walk away from this. He’s not sure what he’d hoped to accomplish by seeking TK out, but it’s clear now whatever it was, he isn’t going to get it.

He looks at TK to find a mild curiosity on his face, like Alex’s answer doesn’t really matter to him one way or another.

“We broke up,” he answers anyway, taking a breath to try to soothe the ache before his next words. “I found him in our bed with someone else less than a year after you and I broke up.”

“Well shit,” TK says quietly, letting out a breath of his own. He doesn’t look gloating the way he has a right to look. Instead, he looks at Alex with what can only be called compassion. “Karma didn’t just pay you back. It sucker-punched you in the face, huh?”

Alex lets out a startled laugh at the description. TK joins him with a chuckle of his own, and Alex welcomes it even if it’s at his own expense. They laugh for a few seconds before they let it trail off.

“To answer your question,” TK starts to say. He looks at him, bobbing his head softly. “Yes, I’m happy. I’m the kind of happy where I wake up in the morning, look at my husband sleeping, usually with our kid between us, and I can’t believe just how lucky I am.”

“You love him,” Alex whispers, not really needing an answer when he can see it clearly on his face.

TK answers anyway. “He’s my soulmate,” he says with a smile that isn’t directed at him at all. It’s directed at the man who walked away with two kids in his arms minutes before. “I used to think that was you,” he continues, his voice sounding far away, lost in the past while Alex aches in the present. “I was so sure of it once, and then I met Carlos. I was still a mess about you, and I wasn’t looking to fall in love at all, but there he was, and I fell. I fell so fast, Alex. Years later, I’m still falling in love with him every single day.”

“That sounds – “ Alex starts, exhaling through the dull throbbing in his chest. “Scary, honestly.”

TK smiles, bright and beautiful, just like Alex remembers. “It is,” he says with a short laugh. “It’s terrifying, but it’s also amazing, and I wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world.”

Alex nods quietly to himself.

“I’m sorry you haven’t found that yet,” TK continues softly because it seems that surprising Alex is the name of the game today. He gives TK a shocked look that has him giving Alex a compassionate look back. “I never wished you ill will. I was hurt and angry after everything went to hell between us, but in the end, I wanted you to find someone to love the way you couldn’t love me and for that person to love you back just the same.”

Alex swallows hard at TK’s words, feeling overwhelmed by them. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

TK looks away from him, and Alex follows his gaze to find that his husband and the kids are coming back with ice cream in their hands. “Thank you for saying that,” he says softly as he stands. He looks down at Alex, giving him a slight quirk of his mouth. “Goodbye, Alex. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

Alex watches TK walk away from him, knowing it will be the last time he’ll see him. “Goodbye, TK,” he whispers at his back, feeling the loss more now than he did four years ago.

֎֎֎

“Dada, we got ice cream!” Luca exclaims happily as he slurps on his spiderman popsicle.

“I can see that. Can I have a taste of spidey?” he questions, leaning in when Luca sweetly offers him his treat. “Mmm, that’s yummy. Thank you, sweetheart.”

Luca smiles up at him, his face already a sticky red and blue mess. He looks at Robbie to see his face is yellow from his Spongebob popsicle. He smiles at them fondly as he turns his backpack to his front, searching for the wet wipes to clean their faces.

“We got you a cone with sprinkles,” Carlos says with a smile, though TK can see the worry in his eyes. “Is everything okay?”

TK looks at his husband, taking in his concern for him along with his ever-present love, and smiles as he remembers what he just told Alex moments ago. The love he and Carlos share is so strong – it can be frightening at times to feel so much and so intensely for another person, but like he told Alex, he wouldn’t change it for the world when it means Carlos loves him back just as strongly.

“Yeah, baby,” he answers, reaching out to touch Carlos’ cheek. “Everything is okay,” he smiles at his husband before looking down at his son and little brother. “Better than okay because we’re going to go see some penguins!”

Luca and Robbie cheer happily.

“Let’s go, Robbie,” Luca says to his uncle, throwing an arm over the other little boy’s shoulder.

TK and Carlos watch them walk a few steps ahead of them, chatting away the way only little kids can.

“You sure you’re alright?” Carlos asks as he hands him a melting ice cream. TK takes it, giving it a few licks to keep it from dripping.

“I swear, babe,” he assures him as he wraps an arm around Carlos’ waist. “We talked, and then we said goodbye.”

“What did he want?” Carlos asks curiously.

TK shrugs. He’ll be honest even after talking to Alex; he’s still not entirely sure what the other man wanted out of the conversation. “I’m not even sure he knows,” he answers after a moment. “He apologized for the past and asked me if I was happy. Maybe he was feeling guilty.”

“What did you tell him?” Carlos questions, a smile playing on his mouth when TK shoots him a look. “What?” he asks innocently, and TK can’t help but chuckle at his fishing.

“I told him,” he starts to say, making sure that he’s holding Carlos’ gaze, as usual falling in love all over again as he gets lost in Carlos’ soulful brown eyes. “That every morning, I wake up amazed I got so lucky to love and be loved by you.”

Carlos pulls him to his side, pressing his face into his neck. “I’m the lucky one, Ty,” he whispers against his skin.

TK smiles at Carlos’ words, his smile growing as Luca shouts for them to keep up; the penguins are waiting. “We both are, my love.”

#911 lone star #tarlos #911 lone star fic #tarlos fic #tk x carlos #outsider POV #my writing

156 notes · View notes

morganaspendragonss · 3 years

Text

so so many thanks to everyone who read even one of these stories. i am forever grateful for all the support i've received; every comment, every kudos, every reblog, every like - they all mean so much. i'm overwhelmed, honestly, but in the very best way. ily all 🥰

day one: against all odds (we're still here) for @trkstrnd

Carlos will hate himself for it later, but he’s so focused on his task that the screech of tires coming around the corner barely registers as a blip on his radar. He doesn’t notice anything until TK suddenly barrels into him, throwing Carlos to the side just before something else, something heavy, crashes into them with a blinding flash of pain, and then—

Nothing.

a simple trip to the grocery store quickly turns to disaster for tk and carlos

day two: out, damned spot for anon

TK wakes up gasping, choking on air. The sheets are suffocating him and, when he tries to free himself, they only seem to get tighter. The hands reaching out for him, trying to calm him, are the final straw; TK throws himself from bed and sprints to the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind him as he collapses against the sink.

On some level, he is aware that the hands were Carlos’s, that the sheets were theirs, that his hands are clean, and that the dream was just a dream.

But they weren't always that way.

day three: the meetings for those in my wake for @freddieholic

For years after the divorce, Gwyn came to learn that any call from Owen was almost certainly bad news, and almost always about their son. Things have been better in the three years since her time in Texas, which is why she thinks nothing of it when he calls just after she’s put Isaac to bed for the night.

“Owen, hey,” she greets. “What’s up?”

The silence she’s answered with is the first sign that something’s wrong.

The sob that follows is the second.

“Gwyn, it’s TK. He's... They think we should say goodbye."

day four: a friend in me for 📍 anon

Carlos has come to see Nancy as a force of nature, a woman who will let nothing and no-one stand in her way, whether that’s out on the field or during a game of Monopoly. But, right now, as she sits hunched over in one of the interrogation rooms, shock blanket around her shoulders, he's never seen her look so small.

the story of how nancy and carlos become the new champions of 126 games nights

day five: truth is heavier than fiction for anon

Carlos pauses with his hand on the doorknob, taking a moment to prepare himself before going inside. TK’s shift finished an hour ago and he’d texted to let Carlos know he was home, which means Carlos is going to be walking right into a conversation he’d rather avoid.

Not that he’d have much choice either way; he might be able to cover his cracked and bruised ribs for a little while, but the arm in a sling will tell on him as soon as the door opens. Carlos doesn’t want to hide his injuries—they’ve had enough conversations in reverse on that theme to make him a hypocrite if he did—but he may have made some choices that he doesn’t particularly want to go into right now. Not while he’s tired and aching and just wants to cuddle with his boyfriend.

He blows out a breath, then opens the door, bracing himself for TK’s reaction.

“Hey— Shit!”

day six: slowly, and then all at once for @pragmaticoptimist34

The realisation that he loves Carlos hits him like a bolt out of the blue.

And at the worst possible moment.

We are getting updates on the active shooter situation at the Four Seasons Hotel. Austin Police Department have closed off the area and officers are currently preparing to enter the building to detain the suspect. It is as yet unknown if there have been any civilian casualties, but—

“Paul, turn the damn TV back on.”

“No.”

five times tk can't admit his feelings about carlos, and one time he finally does

day seven: the promise of tomorrow for anon

Up until five minutes ago, Carlos had been terrified of never having TK in his arms again. Now, the thought of letting him go scares him just as much, and TK seems to feel the same, if the way he’s clutching at Carlos’s jacket and pulling it tight across his back is any indication.

Carlos hugs him close, sinking down to his knees as TK falls into the chair behind him, letting the rest of the room fade away to nothing as he realises that they weren’t too late—that TK is here, with him, alive and mostly whole.

day eight: we'll hold each other soon for @221bsunsettowers

“Be careful, please,” TK said, smoothing down the lapels of Carlos’s shirt. “Whatever happens out there, whatever you have to do, just promise me one thing. Promise you’ll come back to me.”

Carlos knew better than to promise something like that, and TK knew better than to ask it. But because it was him, and because it was TK, Carlos just nodded and leaned in to press a kiss to TK’s temple.

“I promise,” he whispered, pulling away.

It's the last good memory Carlos has, and he's going to hold onto it for as long as he has left. If he's going to die, then the last thing he wants to see is TK's smile.

day nine: now i am just but the wayward man for anon

Ben is glaring at him again.

Klaus is very familiar with this specific glare—it’s the one Ben breaks out when Klaus is being ‘stubborn’ and ‘stupid’ and ‘a fucking asshole junkie with no self-respect who only cares about the next high and, really, it’s a fucking miracle you haven’t gotten yourself killed yet, Klaus’.

He has to hand it to him. Ben really does have him down to a tee.

winter is approaching and klaus has nowhere to go. his siblings are his only option—meaning he effectively has no options.

day ten: i can't imagine my life without you for 📍 anon

It had come completely out of left field—one minute everything was fine, the next Carlos had turned to him with guarded eyes and a clenched jaw, and said six words that sent TK’s whole world crashing down.

“I think we need a break.”

nobody likes to be asked 'trouble in paradise?', particularly when the answer is yes.

day eleven: start again from the beginning for anon

Owen trusts his son. He’s watched TK fight his addiction and stay sober for the last six years, and he has faith that he can handle himself.

But when TK doesn’t show up for work the night after proposing to Alex, Owen knows that something is wrong. After all, they've been here before.

day twelve: let me love you when your heart is tired for anon

TK knows it’s going to be a bad day from the moment he opens his eyes. Slowly, slowly, each twitch like he’s moving mountains, he inches his hand blindly across the bed to reach out for Carlos. If he can just feel his boyfriend, if he can just see him—

But, of course. Carlos has a shift today. TK has a vague recollection of him getting out of bed at five this morning, rousing him with a shift to the mattress and a gentle kiss on the forehead.

If this were a normal day, he might smile at the memory.

day thirteen: couldn't utter my love when it counted for 📍 anon

TK takes his time in the bathroom, stopping to stare at his reflection in the mirror for several minutes and trying to talk himself down from any more-than-friendly feelings towards Carlos.

Later, they’ll tell him that this saved his life.

But that won’t be for a long time, until after the smoke has cleared and the dead have been counted and the statements have been taken. For now, TK steels his resolve and nods at himself, then turns to the door, a hand reaching out for the handle.

That’s when the explosion rips through the building.

after the boba date, tk lets carlos go. they're friends, which is working just fine, until a horrific accident threatens to take even that away from them.

day fourteen: if i walk out the door (a thousand eyes) for anon

TK gets this feeling sometimes, a sort of prickling at his back, like someone’s behind him, breathing down his neck. At first, it was only a once-in-a-while situation, so he thinks nothing of it; when it becomes an everyday occurrence, he starts to wonder, but he’s probably just being paranoid. The shooting, kidnapping, firehouse explosion, and the fire at his and Carlos’s house had all taken their toll, and TK’s just generally more on edge these days.

He doesn’t tell anyone about the feeling, not even Carlos. There’s no reason to fuck up everyone else’s peace with something so stupid. It’ll go away eventually; TK’s sure of it.

That is, until one of the lots just down from the firehouse gets occupied.

day fifteen: find you here inside the dark for @fanfic-corner

Yaz has walked this room too many times to count now; she’s traced her fingertips over the walls, searching for any cracks or crevices to indicate where there might be a door.

If the Doctor were here, she’d have her sonic out by now, spitting out words, only half of which Yaz could understand. She’d find a way out in no time. Or, if not, at least she’d be here. Talking a mile a minute, probably annoying the hell out of their captors. Yaz can almost hear her now—

Wait.

She can hear her now.

day sixteen: accidents happen for @ilovemosss

So, Jason reflects, it may not have been the best idea to take Pythagoras out training while they’re all suffering from a severe lack of sleep. Being the more logical of them, Pythagoras, to his credit, had attempted to talk him out of it, but Jason ignored him.

He very much regrets that decision now.

day seventeen: you and me (moving through this world as a two-man team) for @laelipoo

TK does not have a crush on the 126's latest hire.

Carlos Reyes: an Austin local, an incredible firefighter, and—objectively speaking—the most beautiful man TK has ever laid eyes on. Which is, in fact, the entire point; TK has eyes and, yes, he will use them to sneak a look or two when he’s suddenly sharing space with a man who looks like a Greek god.

That does not mean he has a crush, Paul.

(and, sure, maybe he does sometimes dream about how soft Carlos’s lips look and the little blush he gets when he laughs and those little flecks of gold in his eyes, but he’s only human)

(how TK knows about the gold in Carlos’s eyes is none of anybody’s business)

day eighteen: in perfect harmony for @anyotherheartwilldo

Here’s the thing—Carlos doesn’t believe in signs. He used to when he was younger, raised on his abuela’s stories, but as he’d gotten older his father had taught him that what mattered was the choices he made. He’s the only one who has a say in the way his life turns out, and if he wants something, he has to put in the work to get it.

But there comes a point—namely, after his fifth thwarted attempt to propose to TK—when he begins to wonder if the universe really does have something against him.

proposing to tk proves far more complicated than carlos had first thought.

day nineteen: whatever here that's left of me (is yours) for anon

“Are you…” TK leans closer, peering at the hoodie Carlos is wearing, and—yep. “Why are you wearing my hoodie? Was there nothing in your size from the crew? You should have said something. We can fix this, you don’t need to be uncomfortable.”

There’s a beat, and then Carlos, studiously avoiding TK’s gaze, clears his throat. “It smells like you.”

post-2.12, carlos finds comfort in tk's hoodies.

day twenty: can't smile without you for anon

Carlos would be lying to himself if the possibility hadn’t occurred to him before. He has always worried for TK’s safety, and the knowledge that a serial killer is on the loose in Austin has sent that worry skyrocketing. Especially because he’s the lead detective on the case; he’s spent hours poring over horrific crime scenes, examining all the facts until they’re burned into his brain.

Admittedly, the killers seem to be mostly indiscriminate in who they take, meaning the chances of it being TK are slim.

But there’s still a chance.

a before, during, and after of tk's kidnapping in a hole where your memory goes

day twenty-one: lately you've been searching for a darker place to hide for @freddieholic

“Can I ask you something else?”

TK stiffens at the sound of Mateo’s voice, a nervous note to it that wasn’t there last time. Something tells him he knows exactly what Mateo wants to ask; still, he turns to lean against the counter, crossing his arms as casually as he can manage. “Sure.”

“Are you…” Mateo trails off, biting his lip and avoiding TK’s gaze. “I mean, do you… I mean—”

“You can say it, you know,” he interrupts, not unkindly. “If you want to know if I’m thinking about heading out and getting high, then just ask.”

five times tk turns to unhealthy coping mechanisms when he wants to use + one time he finally asks for help

day twenty-two: know me crazy, soothe me daily for anon

It had freaked Carlos out the first time it happened.

“It was a seizure,” TK explained, after Carlos had finished telling him about it. TK had been disoriented and confused for about ten minutes after, and couldn’t even remember half of their earlier conversation. “I… It’s because of the drugs. They fucked something up in my brain, especially after my first overdose, and now I get seizures occasionally."

in which carlos gets a little over-protective and tk is mildly exasperated

day twenty-three: lover, be good to me for anon

Carlos holds his arms out, and TK comes willingly, setting what Carlos now recognises as a tray of food carefully on the bed. “What’s this?”

TK stares as if it’s obvious. “Date night.”

“What?”

TK pauses, then gasps. “You’re right.” He pats himself down frantically, then pulls an object out of his pocket with a dramatic flourish. It’s a little electric tea light—real candles long since banned from the bedroom—and Carlos watches in bemusement as TK flicks it on and sets it down on the tray. “Now it’s date night.”

his fiancé being bed-bound isn't going to keep tk from date night

day twenty-four: bring you in from the cold for anon

As a cop, Carlos has always been uncomfortably aware of his own mortality. He’s considered his own death more than is probably healthy, but when you’re facing down the barrel of a gun almost every single day, it’s kind of forced on you.

He’s imagined himself being shot, stabbed, strangled, and everything in between.

But he’s not sure he ever pictured dying in a walk-in freezer after getting trapped there by mistake.

day twenty-five: heaving through corrupted lungs for anon

TK is itching to go home and check on Carlos, to make sure he’s still breathing and actually resting like he’s supposed to be. On the other hand, Carlos would probably kill him if he left work, illness be damned. It’s just… Carlos had looked so ill that morning, skin ashen and voice all but gone, and it had taken a lot of convincing for TK to still go to his own shift. He’d insisted on making sure Carlos had all the blankets and water and snacks and anything else he could possibly want, but even so, he’s still uneasy.

His gut is telling him that something’s wrong, and TK doesn’t think he can ignore it for much longer.

when carlos falls ill, they think it's just a bad cold. but when tk goes to check on him, he's in for a nasty shock.

day twenty-six: slowly becoming lovers for @pragmaticoptimist34

Things don’t get fixed overnight. They agree to give them a shot, but that doesn’t change the fact that TK is still reeling from his break-up and overdose, nor that Carlos is still hesitant and afraid of pushing too hard at once.

But, slowly, they get to know each other. And, slowly, they start to fall in love.

tk and carlos, getting to know each other and falling in love

day twenty-seven: and curse the gods for @girlwhowasntthere

Jason knows what it is to be cursed.

day twenty-eight: ignoring every warning for @moviegeek03

TK is fine.

He is absolutely, 100% fine.

And, sure, maybe he’s not supposed to be at work right now, and maybe his hand hasn’t fully healed yet, but it’s nothing. His doctor cleared him to go back to work, which means it’s healed enough, and TK is certainly not going to admit defeat no matter how much he's hurting.

day twenty-nine: can you beat back the night? for @girlwhowasntthere

He misses the bard. Geralt won’t admit it, not even to Roach, but he misses him. After months—years—of Jaskier’s constant chatter and the sound of his lute, the silence, once valued above all else, is too much.

It’s been months since the dragon, since Geralt lost both Yennefer and Jaskier in one fell swoop. He’s cursed himself many times over for the words he said—to both of them—and cursed himself more for the mistakes he made to get in this position in the first place.

this is the lot of witchers, to be alone.

day thirty: ease my mind for @silvarafael

Briefly, Carlos considers calling TK and telling him about the accident. But… He only broke two of his fingers and it barely even classifies as a minor injury in his book, so there’s really no reason to bother his fiancé while he’s still on shift himself. He pockets his phone then looks around to figure out where the exit is.

Only, an all-too familiar laugh distracts him from his task, drawing his attention to the nurses station.

Where TK is standing, smiling as a nurse swats at him for stealing one of their lollipops.

Carlos is, beyond doubt, fucked.

day thirty-one: scars turn to memories for anon

Their front door is open. It’s wide open, and the wood of the door frame is broken, splinters littering the driveway and the floor of the front room. TK’s heart stops in his chest as he surveys the scene, his brain going blank, struggling to comprehend what he’s seeing.

Everything is quiet in the front room, not even a table setting out of place. TK creeps further into their home, his every nerve on edge as he barely breathes for fear of alerting whoever’s here of his presence.

And then, he remembers.

Carlos was off shift tonight. He was here. Alone.

#masterlist #holly's august extravaganza #fanfiction #my fanfiction #writing #my writing

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charlies-gillespie · 3 years

Text

everything to lose | luke patterson

paring: fem!ghost!reader x ghost!luke patterson

summary: Luke confronts reader, the daughter of Caleb Covington, after he finds out what the shocks mean. reader tries to help Luke do what he needs to do so he and his bandmates can

length: medium

rating: PG-13

warnings: a lot of angst, swearing / cussing, jatp spoilers if you haven’t watched episode 5 or later

!! NOT MY GIF !!

MASTERLIST

“I can’t believe you did that to them, Dad,” you shout. “Why can’t you just listen to them when they tell you they already have a band?” You just found out that your father, Caleb Covington, used his stamp on the Sunset Curve boys because they refused his offer.

Your father sips out of his mug and says, “You know the reason, my darling. They’re just too powerful.”

With a groan, you say, “Sometimes, I really don’t like you.”

After finishing his mug of whatever he was drinking, your father says, “You’re stuck with me for eternity, my daughter. You better get around to liking me.” He poofs out of your room in the Hollywood Ghost Club and you grab your jacket.

You’ve made it your mission to go and tell Luke and his bandmates what’s going to happen to them since your father used his stamp on them. Maybe they can figure out what their unfinished business is and they can cross over.

So you poof out of the Hollywood Ghost Club and to the studio where your crush and his bandmates practice. You peep inside and don’t see Luke. A sigh of defeat passes your lips and you step back. You think about where they could be, or at least where Luke would be.

You poof to South Broadway, in front of the Orpheum. You find Willie, your best friend, talking to Luke, Alex, and Reggie. Luke looks behind Willie at you. He has a look of anger on his face and he walks around Willie to get to you.

“What the hell, Y/N?” Luke says, approaching you. “You let Caleb just stamp us?”

Immediately, you say, “I’m sorry, Luke. I didn’t know that he would use the stamp on you. I never wanted him to.”

Luke looks at you and he says, “The guys and I love our band with Julie, and Caleb just took that away from us. We either have to join his band, cross over, or get destroyed by these jolt things.”

Quickly, you reach out and try to touch Luke. He backs away from you and your face falls. “Luke, please,” you beg. “I never wanted this. I’ve seen how happy you are with Julie and the band. I never wanted that to be taken away from you guys. I tried to talk him down but he wasn’t having it. Okay?”

He says, “I just met you a few weeks ago. How am I supposed to believe that?”

“Because in the eighty or so years that I’ve been a ghost, I’ve never met anyone like you, Luke,” you say, staring up at the guy in front of you. “I always kept to myself until Willie introduced me to you. I was scared to talk to anyone just for this reason. Until I met you. My father is insanely powerful and I can’t do anything to stop him.”

Luke’s face softens and he says, “All we wanted was to get revenge on our bandmate for what he did to us and now we’re cursed.”

Your voice drops to a whisper and you say, “I’m sorry, Luke. I really am. I wish he wasn’t like this.” You look down at your feet.

Both of you are quiet before Luke sighs, reaching out and holding your hand. You look at your connected hands and you finally look up at him. “I’m sorry I blamed you, Y/N,” he says. “I’m just frustrated that these are my only options. I know that this isn’t your fault and that you don’t have control over what he does.”

“I don’t know what I can do, Luke,” you admit. “I just wish that you had never met him, or me or even Willie because it was us that got you into this.”

Luke shakes his head and says, “I wouldn’t take back meeting you. Meeting you has been one of my favorite things that’s happened to me since I became a ghost.”

You say, “But you’re cursed and you’ll die all over again.”

He takes a step closer to you and he says, “I’ll die over and over again if it meant meeting you.”

There’s a whoosh noise and you look to your right, knowing who’s standing there. Luke looks over at your father and the guys run up to the two of you.

Your father looks between you and Luke before he says, “Hm, it seems like I’ve interrupted something here.”

“What do you want?” you spit at him. “You’ve done enough, Dad.”

The only people here that knew he was your father were Willie and Luke. Alex and Reggie didn’t know, but now they do. It’s not a big deal that they know but how to you tell new friends that your father is the owner of the most famous ghost clubs and one of the most powerful ghosts?

Luke confidently stands at your side, looking up at your father as he says, “That’s not how you speak to me, young lady. I thought you learned your lesson.”

You say, “You don’t own me. You can’t control me. None of your powers work on me because I’m your blood. You can’t own my soul. I have no consequences when it comes to speaking to you in a certain way or how I act.”

Your father says, “You don’t have any consequences, Y/N.” He waves his hands and a jolt hits the Sunset Curve boys. Luke lets go of your hand as he stumbles back. You look at him with worry all over your face before spinning back to your father. “But they do. Now, boys, let me make my offer again. You can join my house band and these jolts will simply just stop. Alex, you’ll always be able to see Willie. Luke, you’ll be able to see Y/N whenever you’d like. If you’re destroyed or you cross over, you won’t get any of that.”

“We’re never joining your house band,” Luke says through his teeth. You turn your head and look at the musician. His eyes flicker to you before returning to your father.

He says, “Have it your way.” Your father waves his hand again and there’s another jolt that hits the guys. All three grunt. Willie has his hand on Alex’s shoulder and you run over to Luke, whose back is pressed against the wall of the building. You lace your fingers with Luke’s as your father poofs away.

You look up at Luke and you say, “You have to cross over, Luke. Soon.”

Luke says, “I don’t know how to do that.”

Willie chimes in and says, “You have to do your unfinished business. It’s why you came back as ghosts.”

Alex, Reggie, and Luke all look at each other before Luke says, “i guess we have to play the show that we never got to play then.”

They need to play the Orpheum.

***

You and Willie help Luke and his band get booked at the Orpheum the next day. Willie drives the bus of Panic! At The Disco’s opening act out into the desert over 200 miles away. The two of you poof to the boys, who stand right outside the venue. Just as you both poof to the guys, they get hit with a jolt. You walk up to Luke and ask, “You okay?”

“Nothing I haven’t felt before,” Luke says, shrugging. “Um, can I talk to you for a second?”

After nodding, you and Luke walk away. The two of you stand in the alleyway beside the Orpheum. You look up at Luke and he sighs. “I’ve never felt anything for anyone before you. I’m not just saying this because I’m either about to cross over or get destroyed by the jolts,” he admits to you. “I just, I don’t have many regrets and I’d definitely regret it if I didn’t tell you that I really like you.”

Your eyes widen and you say, “Luke, I-”

Luke says, “I have everything to lose, Y/N. You, my band, everything. I’d rather have you and Julie sleep peacefully knowing that I crossed over instead of getting destroyed.”

You can see the tears in his eyes and you say, “I wish I could do something, Luke. I wish that this wasn’t the end of us, even though there never really was an ‘us’ to begin with. I wanted an us.”

He sniffles and you reach up, brushing his hair off his forehead before he says, “I wanted an us too.”

Luke cups your face in his hands and you look up at him. He leans down and presses a light kiss to your lips. You sigh and slowly kiss him back. Your eyes are screwed shut and a few tears escape, falling down your cheeks and wetting them.

After a second, Luke pulls back and looks down at you. “If, by some miracle, I survive this. If something happens and we don’t cross over and I don’t get destroyed by the jolts, I’ll meet you here at midnight,” he says. You nod and stare up at him.

You lean up and peck his lips before Luke walks off. You lean against the wall of the Orpheum and sigh, closing your eyes.

You hate your father for taking away the only guy you’ve ever liked since you became a ghost. Luke would never leave his band with Julie to join your father’s band, and you respect that.

Later that night, you’re back in the same spot. You were able to sneak into the Orpheum to see Luke’s performance with his band. He looked handsome in his suit with no sleeves and messy hair as he played his guitar. You lean your head back and close your eyes.

Minutes tick by. It’s close to 12:30 now. He either crossed over or he didn’t make it.

Soft sobs begin to leave your lips as you let it sink in that you’ll never see Luke again.

There’s a whooshing sound and you assume that it’s your father so you don’t look. Someone walks toward you and you feel someone wipe away your tears. Your eyes flutter open and you’re met with Luke’s pretty hazel eyes. You gasp softly and throw your arms around Luke.

“You made it,” you whisper.

Luke chuckles and says, “I made it. I’m okay. I don’t know how but the curse is gone.”

You pull back just enough to meet Luke’s eyes. “You did amazing tonight, by the way,” you tell him. “I was able to sneak in.”

He smiles and says, “The suit is thanks to your father. I lost the sleeves in the poof.”

“I don’t mind,” you admit. “I like the no sleeves. Definitely shows off your muscles.” You run your fingers up and down his biceps to prove your point.

Luke laughs and says, “You love my arms. Noted.”

You smile and say, “I also love your kisses.”

“We’ve only kissed once, Y/N,” Luke tells you. You lean your head up.

“It’s time to change that, Luke,” you say. With a little laugh, Luke leans down and kisses you again. The kiss is a little rougher than the kiss you shared with him earlier in the day. Both of you are more hungry for each other because neither of you thought that you’d be standing here with him.

Maybe because the curse is gone, you’d get to have the relationship you want with Luke. Maybe this is the guy you can spend your ghostly years with. You almost lost him, and you’ve promise yourself that you’d never let him go again.

#luke patterson imagine #luke patterson x reader #charlie gillespie imagines #charlie gillespie imagine #charlie gillespie x oc #charlie gillespie x reader #charlie gillespie x y/n #julie and the phantoms imagines #jatp imagines #jatp imagine #imagines #imagine #angst imagine #angsty #angst

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supercorp-exile · 3 years

Text

In the nick of time, this is my Day 2 of Supercorptober2021. Fair warning, this one is a bit painful. TW for minor Kara/M***-el AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34242073 2. secret The wedding ring shone like a beacon at the corner of Lena’s vision, the rest of the afternoon sun shining in through the window and hitting her bedside table. It made her stomach churn.

“Gosh, I’m gonna be late. I’ll see you later, okay?”

Her attention snapped back up as Kara retrieved the chain holding the ring and put it back around her neck where she wore it when she was in the suit. The frown that always sat there whenever she left Lena to go home was back. Lena wanted to reach out and soothe it, to kiss her and tell her she didn’t have to go, not now, not ever. She could stay in her arms forever if she wanted to.

But all she did was nod and accept Kara’s goodbye kiss to her forehead before she whooshed out the balcony.

It was calling her again, from all the way across the room this time.

Kara looked radiant. Beautiful and regal, a winning smile coloring her perfect features and making her eyes crinkle as she talked to some of the guests. But it was the ring on her left hand that captured Lena, a more and more frequent occurrence these days. The ring that haunted her dreams, intertwined with its pair on the hand that was promised to it, a hand that was not her own. Oh, and how she wished it was.

She looked away, tried to focus on where her attention was needed. This was supposed to be her night; she should be happy and proud and celebrating. And yet.

“Miss Luthor, it’s time for your speech, ma’am”, her assistant called from behind her. Lena took a breath, straightened up.

“Thank you, Sarah, I’ll be out in a minute”. The girl nodded and Lena heard her footsteps as she retreated.

And yet she couldn’t feel a thing. It had been ten months. Ten long months since a seemingly botched girls’ night when everyone else canceled on them at the last minute ended up with her and Kara having sex on the floor after a charged moment at the couch and a kiss that had taken all air out of her lungs.

Kara had cried then and left in a hurry with nothing but an “I’m sorry” sitting between them. Lena’s tears came after, along with the guilty she knew Kara was also feeling.

And she had thought, this is it, this is where we end. But two days later Kara had treated her normally at lunch with their friends, like nothing had happened, despite Lena’s awkwardness. She doesn’t think she had ever been that quiet. But Mon-El was there, and everyone else as well, and if Lena didn’t know she was a good liar she’d think everyone was onto her. When lunch ended just like always, she was relieved and content to go on with Kara as it had always been, friends and nothing else, despite her feelings.

That lasted about a month until Kara was pushing her up against a wall. And who was she to deny her best friend? Who was she to deny herself after years of longing and having to sit back and watch Kara’s love story unfold with someone else? After having to play the happy maid of honor at her wedding?

So, Lena indulged. She let the passion she’d been holding back consume her like a burning fire, so powerful and strong she didn’t think it was possible to contain it even if she tried. And Kara was right there with her.

The first few times, they didn’t talk about it. Kara would always wait for an opportunity, a stolen moment alone, to fall into her, and never asked for permission. Lena never initiated.

After a while, Lena could tell when Kara would try and create these events, would make excuses, and find auspicious windows of time. She would help, of course. What else could she do?

Lena knew Kara wasn’t happy in her marriage. They didn’t fight, not anymore. Not after all these years. Instead, Lena watched as her best friend, the most powerful being in the galaxy, found a way to shrink herself, to make herself small and accommodate for a man with an ego as big as a planet. Watched the light, once ever-present in Kara’s eyes, fade, replaced by quiet resignation.

No one else seemed to notice, except for herself and Alex. Lena could tell by the way the older Danvers changed her behavior towards her sister’s husband little by little, never gruff but more and more snappish.

Lena tried to talk to her, to find out what was wrong, how she could help. But Kara would always dismiss her worries, say everything was great and that she was just being overzealous. We’re fine, Lena, really. I appreciate your concern .

Eventually, Lena let go. They would talk about other things, enjoy their time, albeit shorter, as they always had. Until that night when everything changed.

Now, after all this time, Lena was feeling worn down. Worn down by her feelings, by Kara’s avoidance, by this secret sitting between her and the world like a giant boulder that she couldn’t climb. She had never wanted to be the other woman.

“I can’t do this anymore, Kara.”

The car was quiet, the faint buzz of the air-conditioner the only sound in the deserted parking lot. Lena felt like she couldn’t breathe.

“This isn’t doing me any good. Doing us any good. We’re both miserable.”

This time, Kara looked at her she spoke. “Not when I’m with you. Never when I’m with you.”

Lena laughed, but there was no humor to it. “Yes, you are. I can feel your guilt a million miles away.”

Kara looked away, shoulders sagging in the seat.

“I’m miserable when I’m with him too.” Her voice was low, not much more than a whisper. But it filled Lena’s ears in the silence. Her throat constricted, and she felt the prickling, traitorous tears threatening to fall.

“Then leave him. Nothing is holding you back.” She could hear the quiet desperation in her own voice but had no power left to fight it. This was it. She would bend and break tonight, no matter the outcome.

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can! Divorce is there for a reason”, she said, holding Kara’s face in her hands, the tears she was fighting back falling freely now. Kara wasn’t faring much better.

“ I can’t . You know it’s not that simple.”

And Lena knew. She knew in Kara’s strangled breath and pained look all the words she wasn’t saying, the burden she carried alone in her shoulders. She knew her battle was lost even before she started the fight.

And the worst of it was, as tired as she felt, and much as she told herself that, Lena knew she would keep coming back to Kara every single time.

#supercorptober #supercorptober2021 #supercorp #supergirl #supercorp ficlet #supercorp fic #supergirl fic #supergirl ficlet #kara danvers #kara zor el #lena luthor

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kylie-writes-stuff · 3 years

Text

we don't have to dance

pairing: corpse husband x reader (female)

word count: 1,101

(somewhat) based off: We Dont Have to Dance - Andy Black

plot: (y/n) gets invited to a party. corpse wants to be there with her, despite his anxiety

authors note: lol kinda don't like the way this turned out but i spent a long time on it and didn't want to just delete it. anyways i watched an interview where andy says the song is about his own social anxiety and being at a party. i immediately thought about corpse. ALSO I DIDNT PROOF READ SO. and sorry if the lowercase bothers you

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

"baby, you really don't have to go," you say, softly rubbing his knuckles with your thumb.

corpse swallows the lump in his throat and shakes his head, "i want to go with you."

you had recently been invited to a party, well more of a hang out, with the people of the Dream SMP. you were part of the smp and good friends with everyone on the server.

the invite said that everyone was allowed a plus one, if they wanted to bring someone. corpse was your boyfriend of almost 6 months and the two of you supported each other through everything.

he saw how excited you were about seeing everyone and he wanted to go with you.

"are you sure?" you ask again.

you knew about his social anxiety, of course, and didn't want him to push himself or be uncomfortable with anything.

he nods.

"okay..." you started, "but if you feel like you can't do it, you tell me. we'll leave immediately."

he agreed and the two of you grabbed everything you needed.

you drove to the house the party would be at, knowing corpse hates using Uber.

you parked and turned off the car. you stayed in for a second more though.

"really wanna do this?"

you knew that you constantly asking could be annoying, but you just really wanted to make sure he was okay.

he looked at you, and you could see the sincerity in his eyes. "i do."

he took a deep breath as he fiddled with the mask in his hands.

"y'know, dream will be wearing one too," you said, trying to ease his nerves even just a little.

he gave you a small smile and put it on.

the two of you walked up to the door and you knocked, holding corpse's hand and giving him a reassuring squeeze.

the door opened, revealing alex with a dorky grin on his face.

you said your hello's and walked in, never letting go of corpse's hand.

everyone was already there. seeing this many people in one room made corpse's heart beat out of chest. yes, he knew most of them, but still.

you led him to a corner, somewhat away from everyone. you didn't even have to say anything, just being in your presence and him knowing you'd do anything for him made him feel slightly better.

"do you want some water or something?" you asked.

"yes please." he got out.

you nodded, "want me to go or do you want to come with me?"

"i'll stay here,"

you gave his hand one more squeeze, telling him you'd be right back.

in the few minutes you were gone he watched everyone around him.

How can you all even stand it

Why is there joy in this poison, oh

some people drunk or just buzzed. everyone laughing and being loud. people dancing and not having a care in the world.

Faking smiles and confidence

every once in a while someone would wave at him or even say a quick hello. in those moments he would have to pretend to be okay.

you came back with his water and he was glad. since you were in the corner, he was able to lower his mask and take quick drinks.

he wanted you to have fun and not worry about him. he let you have time to talk and laugh with your friends.

you never truly wandered too far from corpse. you wanted to be with him but you knew that it wouldn't help him if people came near to talk to you. he told you he'd be fine but you always stayed somewhat close, somewhere you could keep an eye on him.

as he continued to watch, his heart started beating faster, his breathing becoming staggered.

Driving miles to capture this excitement

I cant take anymore, oh

corpse never really understood why people would go out of their way to just be in a crowd like this. aanything close to this situation took too much out of him.

eventually, after you said hello to everyone and talked for a bit, you made your way back to corpse.

"you doing okay, my love?" you asked softly.

he nodded, taking your hand in his, "i'm okay."

and it was the truth. he always felt better with you by his side.

after a few more minutes, though, it got to be too much for him. even being with you and talking with him couldnt ease his anxiety.

a drunk wilbur came wandering up to you.

you immediately felt corpse's hand tighten around yours, his palms sweaty.

"what are you losers doing over here?" he asked, not mean but in a joking tone, "c,mon, dance with everyone!"

you looked over and saw everyone laughing and dancing. they weren't all drunk, of course.

you faked a smile and small giggle, "sure, we'll be out there, wil. go ahead, we'll catch up."

he shot you a thumbs up and went off with everyone else.

you turned to corpse, "you okay?"

"n-no," he shook his head.

"hey, that's okay, love. we don't have to dance. we don't have to do anything. wanna leave?" you gently stroked his cheek.

he nodded, leaning into your touch.

you lead him out the house. you didn't really say bye to anyone, but you did see karl. you gestured your head to the door and he nodded, understanding.

you felt corpse relax slightly as you stepped out of the house. you both got in the car and sat for a moment, just like you did when you arrived.

"i'm sorry," corpse mumbled, taking his mask off.

you looked at him, your head tilted, "for what?"

"i wanted you to enjoy this night. i know you don't get to see all of them often. i feel like i was holding you back from having fun. i shouldnt of come... i'm sorry."

you held his hand, "corpsie, it's okay. you didn't hold me back from anything. i'm so proud of you for trying. you know you're always my number 1 priority. hell, you know i'd rather a single night with you than a million with them."

he looked up and smiled, "i love you."

"i love you too."

you drove home and the two of you spent the rest of the night with each other.

you looked down from the tv, a random movie playing, and to your lap. there corpse's head laid, his eyes closed and him breathing softly. you gently ran your fingers through his hair and thought to yourself:

'god, i'm so in love with this man'

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse husband x reader #corpse x y/n #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband x you

310 notes · View notes

pink-flame · 3 years

Text

Promises Kept - A WFW Missing Scene

Soooo...I let it slip earlier to @mamirugbee that in my original plot outline for We Found Wonderland the scene where Luke finally wins the ring was there. I ended up not writing it because I thought that would be too much angst on top of everything else and you all would riot. But she wanted it and I love her so I wrote it. But then I got distracted with other angst on the way to that angst...so you also get the immediate aftermath of Julie leaving. Oops. It's 2 for 1 night for WFW angst! Just remember I WAS ASKED FOR THIS. Love you, Jenni. 💜

Luke held it together pretty well for approximately three days.

After watching Julie disappear right in front of his eyes, while he smiled...smiled to show her he would be ok...he had sunk to the ground, very much not ok. He had stayed there, just outside the garage doors, dizzy and sick to his stomach while the reality of the situation washed over him until finally the change in light alerted him to the fact hours had passed. He realized somewhere vaguely in the back of his mind through the haze of mental static that the rest of the guys would be home from school soon. He didn’t want them to see him like this. He didn’t want to be the one who had to tell them what had happened, didn't want to see the hurt in their eyes or even worse the sympathy. His instincts were screaming at him to run away from the situation, to escape like he had escaped his parents’ house when their smothering attention and rules became too much. The urge to grab his acoustic and walk out and never come back was strong, his fingers clenching and unclenching at his side as he turned the idea over in his mind.

In the end it was never really an option.

He couldn’t leave his friends.

He couldn’t leave his band.

He couldn’t leave his parents, not again.

And most of all he couldn’t leave the life Julie had almost sacrificed everything to make sure he got to live.

He had promised her a lot of things. That they would make things work somehow. That he would win her that dumb ring. That he would help her reconnect with her dad. That it would always be him and her, Luke and Julie, in it together against nosy bandmates, and questionable record labels, and the looming possibility of being separated by thousands of miles (back when that had seemed like as far apart as they could get).

And he had promised her that he would take care of their friends, and follow his dreams and do his best to be happy.

It turned out that the one promise he had made her that every inch of him was screaming out in protest against might be the only one he could actually keep.

So he would.

Luke unclenched his palms and placed his hands flat against the pavement outside the garage doors. He took a deep if shaky breath then pressed them into the firm surface until he managed to haul himself to his feet, his legs protesting as he forced them to move through their stiffness. He just had time to drag himself into the bathroom and splash cold water on his face before he heard the telltale sounds of his friends approaching, their boisterous voices carrying from all the way down the driveway. He emerged back into the studio, purposefully turning away from the doors in a desperate bid to buy himself a few extra seconds to compose himself before he had to explain Julie’s absence.

“And then I said if a platypus is a mammal where’s their nipples cause that’s how mammals feed their kids, right?”

“Reggie, I don’t know what made you think we want to hear this conversation…”

“Oh come on, Bobby, where’s your intellectual curiosity. Go on, Reggie.”

“Right, so then Mr. Gleeson said they don’t have nipples. They feed their babies by basically sweating milk through milk gutters.”

“Ok...I take it back, Bobby was right. I now know way more than I ever wanted to.”

“Luke, will get it. Hey, Luke! Guess what I…”

Luke turned slowly to face his friends and watched their faces fall as they took in his tight expression. Apparently his efforts to school his face into a neutral mask had failed epically. Luke realized his hands were shaking and shoved the offending appendages into his pockets hoping that would hide the effects of his runaway emotions.

That also seemed to be wishful thinking.

“What’s wrong?” Bobby asked bluntly, taking half a step towards Luke before stopping short when he saw the way he flinched. “Oh.”

“Luke, I’m…” Alex swallowed hard and glanced away for a moment seemingly fighting with his own emotions. “I’m so sorry.”

Reggie was the last to speak, the panic stealing over his face like a punch directly to Luke’s chest.

“Where’s Julie?”

When Luke didn’t answer right away he asked again, shaking off Alex’s attempts to place a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Luke, where’s Julie?”

“Home,” He answered simply, his voice steady despite the emotions still raging inside of him.

He knew what he had to do now.

He had to honor Julie the only way he could, by helping his friends be ok.

“What? No,” Reggie protested, looking back and forth between his friends as though expecting someone to tell him it was a joke. “She wouldn’t. Not without saying goodbye.”

“She didn’t have a choice,” Luke told him gently. “The portal just appeared and she...she ran out of time.”

“Ok, ok,” Reggie ran his fingers through his hair roughly, leaving pieces standing up in all directions. “We can go to the ghost club, right? We can get Willie to help us get into Caleb’s dressing room and we can go find her.”

“That’s a good way to get killed by an evil ghost,” Bobby pointed out.

“We’ll figure it out,” Reggie insisted.

“Reg...we don’t even know...we don’t know if Caleb still trusts WIllie or not. We haven’t seen him since that night.”

Luke could hear the pain in his friend’s voice and he hated it. Alex might not have had the time to develop the same deep connection with Willie that Luke had with Julie, but he knew his friend had seen flashes of that potential in their stolen moments. The fact that Willie had been missing in action since he tried to help them save Julie weighed heavily on Alex. Luke could see it. He just couldn’t do anything about it except be there for him as much as he could.

He was going to need Alex too.

He was going to need all of them.

“Reggie, even if we could do that she didn’t want us to. She didn’t want us to leave our families or our dreams or our lives here. She fought so hard for us to have them. We have to live like it’s now or never, for her.”

He managed a small, sad smile hoping it would calm Reggie’s rising agitation but it seemed to have the opposite effect.

“Don’t quote your lyrics at me, dude,” Reggie snapped, once again brushing off Alex’s attempts to put a comforting hand on his arm. “You’re supposed to be in love with her. How can you just let her go without a fight?”

Luke felt like his throat was closing up as Reggie’s words hit him like a slap in the face. He knew his friend didn’t mean it, not really. He was just hurt and scared and mourning the loss of the little sister he loved.

It didn’t make it hurt any less to have his own doubts and guilt thrown back into his face though.

Before Luke could come up with anything else to say to comfort him, Reggie reached up to wipe at his eyes and spun on his heels, stomping out of the garage and down the driveway.

Alex shot Luke a worried look before nodding after their friend.

“I’ll check on him. I’ll be right back, ok?”

Then he was gone and Luke and Bobby were alone in the garage.

Bobby was looking at Luke like he was some kind of wounded animal and Luke wished he would stop because the longer his best friend looked at him like that the more tempting it was to totally break down. And he couldn’t do that and keep his promise to Julie. So he would hold it together. He would.

“I’m not going to ask if you’re ok because that would be a stupid question,” Bobby said, crossing the garage to sink onto the couch before patting the seat next to him expectantly.

Luke hesitated for a second or two before sighing and sinking down next to Bobby, the urge to tap his foot or drum on his knee overwhelming though he fought it down. He didn’t need to give Bobby more ammunition about his mental state. Not that he needed it.

“Look, I’m going to miss her too,” Bobby cleared his throat before reaching out to pat semi-awkwardly at Luke’s knee. “And I know it’s going to be worse for you. But I’m here for you. We all are. So just...don’t run, ok?”

Luke could have laughed at that if his mouth had seemed to remember how. His friends really did know him too well. Still. He had already ruled out that course of action.

“I won’t,” He promised.

And he didn’t.

What he did do was dive headfirst into trying to make sure their lives would go on like Julie wanted. He was there waiting when Reggie processed his feelings enough to feel bad about his outburst and showed up at the garage in the middle of the night and pulled Luke into a tight hug that lasted a long time. He was there when Alex wanted to talk about feeling anxious not knowing for sure if Julie had made it back to her time and what she had found there. He was even there when Bobby admitted that he missed Julie but he missed Queenie too and he wasn’t sure that the band was ever going to be as close as they once were. Luke did his best to reassure them all, checked in on his mom, and started calling around trying to book them a gig even though they had hardly any songs they could use and none of the bookers he spoke to seemed particularly interested.

He forced himself to tell bad jokes, and offered to go get pizza and suggest busking so they could refill their food fund.

He did all of that for three days until it was like the adrenaline he had been running off of ever since Julie disappeared into a hole in the ground finally wore off. On the fourth day he knew his friends noticed that he was quieter than normal though none of them said anything, just exchanged mildly worried looks. On the fifth day he lost his appetite, picking at the leftover pizza that Bobby had warmed up for him and refusing the variety of junk food his friend then hauled out to the garage. On the sixth day he slept most of the day, drifting in and out of fitful dreams. He had only emerged for a couple of bathroom breaks and was back curled under the blanket he usually left unused when his friends showed up after school, their worried looks no longer mild.

The 7th day was a Friday but they didn’t go to school. Instead they staged what amounted to an intervention, hovering around the couch (he didn’t bother folding it out now that the possibility of Julie crawling in next to him was gone) and refused to stop staring creepily at him until he sat up with an annoyed huff.

“Don’t you have school?” He muttered, pulling the blanket more firmly around his shoulders despite the smothering heat.

“We’re not going,” Reggie said, reaching out and yanking the blanket away from Luke in on quick movement.

“Hey!” Luke protested.

“We’re worried about you,” Alex said ignoring the way Luke was suddenly looking anywhere but at his friends. “You pretended nothing was wrong and then you crashed hard.”

“You’re depressed,” Bobby said bluntly, because of course he did.

He was annoyingly accurate and to the point at all times unless he was hiding his meaning in some obscure literary quote of course.

“I’m not,” Luke tried, feeling strangely exposed without the weight of the blanket. “I miss Julie...a lot, ok? But she wanted us to live and I’m living.”

“There’s living and there’s living,” Reggie countered, dropping down next to Luke to sling an arm around his shoulder. “And Julie would want you to be living, you know what I mean?”

“We don’t expect you to be ok,” Alex broke in quickly. “Just for you to be honest about what’s going on with you. You’ve been there for us the past few days now it’s your turn.”

“I’m fine,” Luke tried one last time, though his argument sounded half-hearted even to his own ears.

“You haven’t showered in a week,” Bobby pointed out, the softness behind his eyes easing the harshness of his words as Luke forced himself to look up and meet his friend’s eyes. “Come on, rinse the smell off and then we’re taking a field trip.”

Luke groaned but forced himself to stand and cross the distance to the bathroom, his bones aching like he had spent years in bed, not hours. He hardly remembered the shower but when he reemerged some indeterminate amount of time later his hair was dripping and he admittedly smelled a lot better. He still felt a bit like he was walking through a heavy fog though, like some slight, almost undetectable force was making each one of his steps just that little bit more difficult. He thought it might not be the weight of something slowing him down at all but the absence of something. It was like he had forgotten how to do everything right without Julie next to him. Walking and eating and breathing. He knew he had done them all before he ever knew her but that didn’t make them come any more naturally now that she was gone.

Still.

He had promised her he would try.

So he let his friends steer him out of the garage, let them lead him down the sidewalk, Alex and Bobby buffeting him on either side and Reggie walking in front, chattering away and peering back every few seconds as though afraid Luke would bolt if he didn’t keep him in his sight. Luke for his part just shuffled along, grunting out a response when asked a direct question and keeping silent the rest of the time. Apparently the plan was to head to Reggie’s house. His mom would be at work and she had bought him this brand new video game console called a Playstation that the boys were all dying to try out. That newly separated parent guilt was apparently good for a few things, like letting Reggie have ice cream every night and expensive gifts. Luke was pretty sure that none of them were particularly in the mood to play video games and were putting on the enthusiasm for his sake. He appreciated it. He just couldn’t match it.

But once they were actually in Reggie’s room, crowded around the little television he got for his last birthday, Luke had to admit he did feel a little more like a human being. He even caught himself laughing as he watched Alex and Reggie squabble over the second controller as Bobby clutched his above the fray. Reggie grinned when he saw Luke’s brief smile and shoved the controller they had been fighting over into his hands.

“Here, you try!”

And he couldn’t stand to see Reggie disappointed, not when he had seen him so hurt so recently. So Luke did try. And he let himself enjoy it. And he let himself tune out and pretend that there wasn’t someone missing.

He did such a good job at pretending that it wasn’t until they had left Reggie’s house several hours later in order to keep his mom from knowing they had skipped and headed for the ice cream shop that the gaping absence all came crashing back.

Because right around the corner from the ice cream shop was the arcade.

And right inside of the arcade entrance was a claw machine.

And inside of that claw machine he could only assume there was a purple plastic ring that would now never sit on his girl’s finger.

He couldn’t explain why his feet carried him towards the arcade but they did, seemingly without any specific direction from him.

“Luke....” Alex’s worried voice called after him but he didn’t pause until he was standing directly in front of the damn game that had been haunting him for months.

And there it was. The ring. Mocking him from the exact spot it had been in all along.

Apparently his friends had caught up to him by then because when Reggie spoke up it was from directly behind him.

“You’ve got to let that thing go, man,” His friend said carefully. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Luke found himself understanding Reggie’s initial reaction to the news about Julie’s departure because all of the sudden he was angry. He wasn’t just angry, he was furious.

He brought his fists down in tandem on either side of the joystick, feeling the reverberation up his recently healed arm and had just enough time to wonder if that was the smartest idea before words were bursting out of him unbidden.

“It matters,” He said fiercely, ignoring the way Reggie flinched slightly. “It matters. She matters. She matters to me and she’s gone and I said I would give her that ring and I didn’t and now I can’t and...and...it just matters, ok? It just does.”

Alex and Reggie both stared at him, eyes wide with worry seemingly unable to land on something helpful to say as they watched him finally implode. The silence stretched and Luke was just about to kick the machine just to have something to fill the gap and give him another chance to externalize the storm brewing inside of him when Bobby stepped forward calmly.

“Here,” He said, his voice calm and even. “Go ahead.”

He held out his hand and Luke instinctively stuck his out to catch whatever Bobby was trying to hand him. He folded his fingers over the mystery object to keep it from falling to the ground, before uncurling them carefully to examine it.

It was a quarter.

Luke looked up sharply expecting to see sympathy or something worse on Bobby’s face but all he saw was that look his best friend gave him when they were disagreeing on a song or when they couldn’t agree on what toppings to order for their pizza. Or maybe more like when Luke had wanted to use those fireworks for pyrotechnics or when he had suggested a book club as a viable gig. Like he didn’t approve of what Luke was doing but also like he was going to be right there behind him, letting him know he was an idiot and then helping him anyway.

Somehow it was exactly what Luke needed.

So he didn’t say anything else, just swung to face the machine and deposited his quarter in the slot before he could think better of it.

The game came to life as he swung the joystick jerkily to the right, not letting himself think too hard about the exact aim as the claw hovered over the ring in it’s plastic container. He slammed his hand down on the button to drop it probably harder than was strictly necessary but it felt good to have an excuse to hit something. The claw dropped and clutched it’s mechanical arms around the plastic container. Luke tried not to react, afterall he had gotten this far many times before, but the weak arms always released the ring long before it could actually make it to the prize shoot. But even as that hopeless thought crossed his mind the claw was rising, taking the ring with it and this time it didn’t drop back to its former spot. This time the ring remained locked in the claw’s embrace until it tumbled down into the prize shoot leaving all four boys to stare at the machine in surprise.

“Did that just…” Alex started.

“You did it,” Reggie practically whispered, disbelief clear in his voice.

Luke for his part just stared at the claw machine that had once again gone silent and still as he tried to process what had just happened. He had been so angry a minute ago and he could never win the ring and it didn’t matter because Julie was gone...Julie was gone...but it did matter and now he had won the ring and...did he really just win the ring?

Once again it was Bobby who broke them all out of their stupor, stepping forward and reaching through the metal flap to retrieve the ring, pressing the plastic container insistently into Luke’s shaking hands.

“You did it,” He said simply but firmly.

“I did it,” Luke echoed, his voice slightly choked.

“You said you would and you did,” Bobby continued. “It’s ok, Luke. You did it.”

Luke was very aware that Bobby was talking to him like a small child and he wanted to be offended, he really did, only he felt like a small child. Like nothing made sense and all of his emotions were too big for him. He had tried for so long and so hard to win that stupid ring, had seen it as a metaphor for how he felt about Julie, how he would do anything for her, how he wanted her to know that as intrinsically as she knew her own name. He had tried so hard and it had never worked and now she was gone and the very first time he tried, the first time, and he had done it.

Luke felt tears pricking at his eyes and did his best to fight them down.

“Luke…” Reggie started, his own eyes looking suspiciously wet.

Luke couldn’t bear to hear what Reggie was going to say or to make eye contact with any of his friends when he felt on the brink of breaking into sobs. He spun to face the machine again only that didn’t seem to help. His vision went blurry and his throat went tight and the next thing he knew he was breaking down into sobs. He tried to stifle them in a fit of embarrassment but there wasn’t much point. The tsunami had started and all he could do was ride the wave and pray he was in one piece on the other side.

He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against the cool glass of the claw machine, the soothing temperature doing little to slow the tears rolling down his face or the hiccuping, painful sounds that were emerging from his mouth. The ache in his chest was almost unbearable but it was matched by the sharp pain in his hand as he clutched so hard at the ring’s plastic container he was sure it would leave an angry red outline when he finally uncurled his fingers.

He loved her.

He loved her so much.

He loved her and he was never going to see her again and he won her the ring and she was never going to know it.

He was so alone.

Only he wasn’t.

Because suddenly there were warm arms wrapping around him from every direction, cheeks pressed against his shoulders and the top of his head, soft words of comfort being spoken in three different voices.

“It’s ok, Luke.”

“Let it out.”

“We’re here.”

And he did.

He had promised Julie they would do their best to be happy. He intended to keep that promise. But today all he felt was pain. And that would have to be ok too.

And it was.

And they were.

Not all at once.

Not for a long time if he was being honest.

But slowly and steadily genuine smiles, and laughter began to work their way back into their lives. They didn’t talk much about Julie at first. It hurt too much. But eventually Reggie brought up a story about her over pizza and soon they were all chiming in, recounting their favorite moments with the girl who would always live in their hearts even if she could no longer live in their world. After that they brought her up often and it hurts but it also heals.

Luke took to wearing the ring around even though it was too small for all of his fingers except his pinkie and often got stuck even then. Bobby didn't comment on the way his finger was starting to turn as purple as the ring itself, simply handed him a black cord one day for him to string it on and brushed off Luke’s rush of thankful words. After that Luke wore the ring on a cord around his neck, dangling down to thump gently against his heart as he walked, the cool plastic a constant reminder of what he lost but what he gained too.

He wasn’t living the life he would have chosen for himself but he was living the life Julie had chosen for him. He hoped the two would come together eventually. He had to have faith that they would.

Eventually he sat down to write a song for her and ended up with a poem instead.

Eventually he had the idea of sending her a message through time, a box filled with all of the things she had loved and left behind, all the ones that would fit in a small box anyway. Eventually he pried the teddy bear version of himself out of Reggie’s reluctant fingers to go inside. Eventually placed all of their carefully selected polaroids inside too.

And eventually he slid a purple ring off of the cord he wore it on, placed it carefully back into its original container and left it for her to find with a lingering kiss pressed to its surface.

Eventually.

But first.

He lived.

Tag list: @futurearchaeologyprof @moreflowersthanweeds @chickwiththepurpleguitar

#we found wonderland #missing scenes #juke #jatp #luke patterson #sunset curve #angst #all the angst #my fics

152 notes · View notes

lydias--stiles · 3 years

Text

serendipitous encounters

juke | human au | fluff

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

"I think I met my soulmate!" Luke shouted as he barrelled through the front door, announcing his presence.

Alex, cuddled up with Willie, groaned from his place on the couch. "Not this again. Luke, soulmates do not exist!"

"Well, I'm curious," Willie joked. "What happened?"

Bouncing through the small living space, he propped himself on the coffee table. His eager lips spouted everything he knew so far. "Her name's Julie and she's beautiful and she drinks lattes with caramel syrup."

The two boys blinked at each other, an amused smile growing on Willie as the scowl deepened for Alex. Yeesh. How did these two work?

The blonde tried keeping composure. "You think... you met... the person you want to spend the rest of your life with... in a coffee shop?"

Luke nodded. What was his point?

Luckily, Willie was on his side. "Did you talk to her?"

Sighing, he slumped to the floor. "No. But I'm telling you, it's her."

"This oddly feels like that Zooey Deschanel movie," Alex mused.

"No! She's not some fantasy! She-I can't explain it." Dreamily looking up at the ceiling, he added. "She's it. I'm calling it."

"I think you're horny," Alex deadpanned. Willie snickered.

He rolled his eyes and swatted their legs. "Very cool, you guys.”

The doorbell rang. Jumping up and saving himself from further embarrassment, Luke went to open it.

And it was her. Holy shit.

She smiled up at him, holding up his trusty songbook.

"Hello. You left this journal on your table at Starbucks? It has your address inside."

Gobsmacked, Luke stared at her. Holy fucking shit. Because of his whole daydream about her in Starbucks, he forgot his book and then she took it upon herself to find the rightful owner. That was fate, right? Take that, Alex!

Stammering vowels, he plucked it from her grasp and let out a breathy laugh.

"Y-Yeah, thanks, that's- yup."

An amused smile pulled on her lips, nodding. "No problem. Have a nice day!"

Her goodbye snapped him out of his stupor, calling out for her with a raised hand.

"Wait! I didn't catch your name!"

She turned around, the girl looking so foreign in the grimy hallway of the apartment complex.

"Why do you need my name?"

Cause he knew it already and didn't want to seem like a creep.

He shrugged. "I want to thank you."

"It's Julie," she said after a beat.

"Thank you, Julie." His grin must've been comically wide, heart beating a mile a minute as he was still convinced she was his freaking soulmate.

And then she left. He was certain he'd see her again. In a non creepy way, that was.

— — — — — —

It was wholly coincidental once more.

It was an early Sunday morning, Luke donned in sweatpants and a ratty cut-off and bedhead, as he meandered in the the shop of a tailor. Reggie owed him for this.

The bassist loved buying vintage clothing, but never stuff that quite fit him. Hence, a tailor. His name was Peter and basically Reg’s best friend at this point, based on the disappointed look the man gave Luke as he handed him the the slip. He could hear the question on his tongue - “Where’s Reggie?” - and was happy when he didn’t ask.

One, cause that was fucking rude.

Two, cause Reg was currently fighting for an exclusive comic book on the other side of Los Angeles with a hurdle of other nerds.

As Peter was sifting through the clothing racks, searching the order, the bell jingled behind him.

“Oh, Journal Boy?”

He stilled. Holy shit.

Whirling around, he came face to face with Julie. Just as beautiful as a week ago; maybe even more disarming in sandals and her curly hair up in a messy bun.

“Hi,” he breathed, unsure if he wasn’t just imagining her. It was a pretty hot day. It could easily be a sun stroke.

Her smile widened. She was probably amused by his goofy behaviour, but he couldn’t help it. What were the odds he’d see her again, in a different location, this early after the first encounter? What was the statistical probability of meeting his soulmate twice?

Before he could say anything else, Peter appeared from his rack and placed a leather jacket on the counter. Their attention diverted, Luke couldn’t help but feel heat travel up his back from having her so near.

— — — — — —

No, he didn't want to go to silent disco.

Alas, Willie and Alex were that quirky type of couple that always liked to do the weirdest shit, including the most impersonal activity ever: a silent fucking disco.

They told him to bring a date, as Reggie was bringing his Tinder match Kayla, but he wasn't feeling it. One, because he still couldn't believe he saw Julie again at the tailor-

("It's Luke, by the way," he added.

She smiled and tasted the name. "Luke. Haven't lost your journal again?"

His name sounded heavenly on her tongue. Keeping the blush at bay, he nodded with a grin. "Yup. Uh-"

And then the man came back with her stuff, and that was that.)

-two, cause he wanted to win from Alex. Soulmates did exist and he hadn't lost hope it was her.

So there he was, in some old factory turned disco, with hundreds of idiots wearing headphones as they danced in a frenzy to whatever song was playing. The whole point of art - connection - was lost. Luke wanted to die.

Until he saw Julie from across the space. Again. And she saw him.

They smiled and waved and suddenly, this whole thing wasn't so bad anymore.

— — — — — —

There were about a 130,000 people living in East LA. It had sprawling neighbourhoods and hundreds of communities and subways that connected it to the other parts of LA. She could’ve been anywhere.

And yet, he found her again.

Even though he was still sticking to his guns that Julie was someone special, he also had his own needs. Which was how he found himself slipping out of a redhead’s bed at seven in the morning, dazed from being in an unknown place, and pulling his clothes back on. He was pretty sure her name was Meredith, though that could also just be entirely false. It was a weird, albeit good night.

She mumbled in her pillow he could let himself out, waving half-heartedly and rolling on her side.

Softly closing the door behind him and cracking the knots in his neck, he didn’t notice how he bumped into a person.

Into Julie.

His eyes widened in shock, the two letting out a surprised yelp. Her hand clutched her chest and took a step back.

“Whoa!” he exclaimed. “Sorry!”

Her mouth opened and closed in confusion, about to say something, when her gaze trailed past him to the apartment he just left. She cleared up.

“Meredith? Good choice, she’s nice.”

Luke flushed red. What the fuck was he supposed to say to that?

Awkwardly scratching the back of his head, he drawled, “Uh, yeah... what’re you doing here?”

It was then that he noticed she had athletic wear on, duffle bag around her shoulder and keys dangling between her fingers. She confirmed his suspicions when she replied.

“I, uh, live here.” She laughed. “So... have a nice rest of the day?”

He wanted to say a lot. He wanted to ask if she wanted to grab breakfast, that Meredith wasn’t his girlfriend, that he had this crazy feeling they were always meant to meet - again and again and again ‘til they got it right.

But he couldn’t. He’d sound insane. Hell, it was insane. Instead, he wished her a nice day as well and scurried out the hallway. He didn’t look back, but he did wonder if he was imagining he felt her eyes on his back.

— — — — — —

Luke was typing on his laptop, the hustle and bustle of Starbucks at three in the afternoon and the methodical tap tap tap of the keys lulling him into a fast-paced trance. As always, he procrastinated some work for Pitchfork and had to get it done in two hours or else his boss would be yelling in his emails.

The bell jingled, Luke looking up automatically and almost rolling his eyes at the sight of her. This was getting insane.

Julie saw him too, changing her course from the register to his round table with a confused grimace twisting her features. As always, she looked pretty; the girl never looked bad and it was kind of messing with his head.

"Alright, fess up," she exclaimed, slipping into the seat opposite of him. "Are you stalking me?"

He snorted and leaned forward with a wry grin. "I can ask the same about you."

Her lips pursed, assessing him for a beat. With a sigh, she mellowed down. "I guess... we live in the same neighbourhood..."

"Still kinda crazy though," he mused. "East L.A. is big."

She nodded, pensive, and then looked over her shoulder to the menu board. "Is it okay if... I sit with you? I was going to grab a latte to go, but since you're here..."

But since you're here - rang in his ears, a careful smile blooming on his lips. Fuck, he really needed to work, but Julie wanted to sit with him, hang with him, be friends with him, outside of all the coincidental meetings they've had.

He wouldn't call it a date yet. He wanted to properly ask her when that day came.

"Sure," he mumbled, biting down the smile from becoming bigger.

His reply satisfied her, the tendrils dancing around her bright eyes as she matched his smile and stood up to make an order.

— — — — — —

Weeks passed with quick meetings here and there, Julie slowly bleeding into his life with laughs and smiles and whirlwind stories about her life. She was always on the go, always bright-eyed and easily matching his energy. He knew his enthusiasm could put people off, but she was never taken aback.

Wit against wit. Snark against snark. A dumb joke met with an amused roll of the eye. It worked. For a while, he even settled on the fact that hey, they might be platonic soulmates. Julie was a great friends and sometimes he felt his emotions fleeting. If they remained friends, he'd be perfectly content.

But then she closed gaps and barriers that had pointedly been kept before. After they got boba, her hand wrapped around his bicep, stretched on her tiptoes and pressed a quick kiss on his cheek. Before he could register it, she was back on her feet waving him goodbye. Luke had a dopey look on his face for the rest of the day.

She kept up cheek kisses, he let his warm embraces linger, their short hangouts turned into hours.

Then one night, she kissed his cheek after they got ramen and he shifted his face 'til their noses brushed. Julie held her breath. Tentatively, their fingers curled together - the simple touch sparking lightning up his arm.

"Is it weird that I've dreamed about you?" he asked, cautious, looking at their joined hands.

Luke wanted to tell her about his initial gut feeling; that he saw her and he knew. But it was too insane and he didn't want to scare her off. But he knew. He's always known.

"No..." Her mouth ghosted his. "I've dreamed about you too."

Luke closed the little space between them, lips slanting together and instantly deepening as one hand came up to cradle her cheek. His heart was bursting with euphoria. It felt as if his body sighed in relief, like it had finally come home. And then he did: he sighed and grinned and giggled when her arms wrapped around his neck.

Oh, man... he might already love her.

— — — — — —

Nothing definite happened afterwards. Though this is what he wanted, he felt weird confirming their relationship when he had always somehow ‘known.’ It had to come from her side, the more level-headed person in this situation.

So, it was casual, even though he was anything but casual.

It was pretty great though, walking past Meredith’s door towards Julie’s, having her yank him inside and kiss him like she’d been waiting for years. Kissing Julie was fucking heaven.

Besides that, they were the same Luke and Julie as before. They got boba or ramen or any new spot that opened up like weeds. She listened to new music with him, sharing earbuds, for his Pitchfork articles. He watched her sing and play the piano at music clubs, becoming more and more enamoured each time simply by the sound of her angelic voice. He built a shelf for her. She taught him how to make friendship bracelets. He met her best friend Flynn. She stayed over for dinner with the guys and got drunk on white wine, giggling along to the jokes.

They fit. But they weren’t exclusive. He had no clue if she was also seeing someone else. He presumed she didn’t, the two constantly revolving around each other, but he couldn’t be certain.

Alex was gobsmacked the first time he properly met her. Stunned that Luke had been right, that it worked out, that East Los Angeles was apparently nothing more than a small town. Luke reckoned he was just jealous he didn’t have to meet his person by getting maimed on the street - ha!

His finger trailed along her sleeping silhouette, gently and drowsy, observing in awe how a smile subconsciously quirked on her lips and shifted closer to his touch. He closed his eyes and pressed his nose in the back of her neck. There were worse ways to wake up.

— — — — — —

Eventually, Julie simply decided for him.

She was moving apartments and he was helping her pack, move furniture, throw shit out, the whole nine yards. For one person, she had a lot of stuff, her cabinets an endless supply of decor, souvenirs and memories.

They were whirling around each other like clock-work, never bumping and smoothly handing things over. Rap music was playing from the stereo, its sound drifting from her opened front door into the hallway.

One of her neighbours popped their head in.

"Oh!" The old man perked up, surprised. "You're moving, Julie?"

She looked up from rummaging through her CD collection to shoot him a tired smile. "Yeah," she puffed, "my lease is up, so..."

"Change of pace, I get it. That's wonderful," he nodded, gaze shifting to Luke walking out of the bathroom. "Hello!"

Luke smiled at him, waving with the box of oddly shaped soaps Julie had for some reason. "Hi."

"This is Luke, my boyfriend," Julie introduced, Luke freezing in his tracks all at once as the words utter from her lips. Boyfriend. Holy shit. It didn't faze her, smoothly babbling more than he wasn't processing.

Boyfriend. Which meant that she was his girlfriend. Which meant that now, he had to threaten the guys to not say a fucking word about how mentally deranged he was the first week after meeting her. This wasn’t planned. This was fully her. This was past fate and serendipity - this was by choice. It felt better than he thought.

The man bid goodbye and left. Luke dropped the box on the coffee table, sliding towards her with a shit-eating grin.

"Boyfriend," he drawled exaggeratedly.

She rolled her eyes. "Yes. ‘Cause you are. I know you well enough to know you can only do exclusive."

"Can you?"

"I said you were my boyfriend, didn't I?"

His smile widened, leaning in to kiss her. She met him halfway, loose curls tucked behind ears before her arms were slung around his waist. I love, I love you, I've loved you forever.

And then the truth tumbled out. Part of it, at least.

"I, uh," he gulped, looking at her through his lashes. "I saw you, that first day, and I thought you were the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

Her face turned tender, a pout jutting from her lip as she gauged his reaction, like she was waiting for him to make a joke. He wasn't.

"Really?" she whispered, voice so small it took him aback for a beat.

His thumbs gently caressed her cheeks, withholding himself from saying anything more. This was enough. It was the truth without the crazy - being with her was crazy enough. Luke settled on a simple nod.

Her head tilted, shy amusement lilting her tone. "Good thing I'm moving closer to your neighbourhood then."

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

@blush-and-books @bluefirewrites @willexx @pink-flame @constantly-singing @unsaid-emily @ourstarscollided

#juke #jatp fanfiction #otp: i think we make each other better #queue

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bluefirewrites · 3 years

Text

Prince Protection Program AU

The response to the last post has been amazing. Thanks guys. I don’t plan on making a full on story ( I did at one point, but I have a lot of WIPs to work on), but I still have some riffs to unleash. This is my take on the boys’ life pre-PPP. Enjoy!

(Also changed the name of Reggie’s kingdom and swapped it for Luke’s btw)

Link to first post and artwork

Palace life sucked ass.

Usually Lukas would experience that brief split-second of bliss waking up in the morning, where he would blink against the Mediterranean sun seeping through the cracks in his curtains, the feeling of his body cocooned in silk sheets hitting him first and not the fact that he was the Crowned Prince of Solaria.

But after that, it all came crashing down on him in the form of knocking on his door, followed by the more forceful opening of his door, and the filing in of his guardian.

“Ugh,” the prince rolled around, stuffing his head under a pillow, “Five… minutes…”

“I’m afraid that’s not possible,” James stalked over, tugging the covers off of him, causing Lukas to groan at the loss of warmth, “You know what today is.”

How could he not? It had only been the very thing his parents would talk about for the past year-

The day he would be crowned king.

As was tradition, he was seventeen years of age, the time for him to learn how to be a proper ruler to succeed his father King Mitchell.

Though the problem lay in the very fact that Lukas was many things.

But proper he was not.

Lukas rose, reluctantly, which struck James quite odd. Normally there would be more complaints, a bout or two before he would summon the guards to extricate him from the bed.

“I’ll-” A yawn broke out and the young man rubbed his eyes to rouse himself, “I’ll be there soon.”

James raised an eyebrow.

Lukas lifted a palm in good faith, “I promise.”

The older man stared at him for a moment before leaving to attend to other duties. As soon as he left, the prince quietly tip-toed to the doors, pressing his ear against the cool wood and waited. The sounds of footsteps faded, marking his guardian’s disappearance around the corner.

“Sucker,” Lukas laughed, before shrugging on a shirt, swiping his headphones off his desk, and booking it to his balcony.

He had about a minute and half to scale down the vines encasing his wing of the palace before the guards caught him.

Over the years, he had to get a bit creative to evade palace security, with his parents sealing off most exits, doubling the guards stationed by his window at night, but nowadays it was much easier to do the riskier, more obvious way to escape.

No one would expect it.

Hopping down to the lower level and pressing himself against the wall, he crab-walked until he found the door leading into the kitchen.

He slipped through, greeting the staff who all shook their heads at him. They knew better than to dissuade him from doing what he was about to do. All Geneveive, the head cook, could do was send him off with a bag of food with a “Hurry back now or James will have our heads.”

Biting off a piece of bread, he thanked her with a wink and was off, dancing around the extra busy kitchen and putting on his headphones in the process.

With Nirvana blaring in his ears, Lukas made it to the waterfront and hopped into one of the more modest fishing boats (exchanging one of Genevieve’s sponge cakes for the keys. Thank you, Garrison) and motored off to the islet a few miles out.

20 minutes later, he moored to the dingy port where two other boats were stationed on the small piece of land.

“Oh my god,” he heard someone holler, a guy about his age with jet-black hair and swim trunks, “Is that the future King of Solaria?”

Lukas rolled his eyes, lugging around the small back, “Oh my god. Is that Reginald? The future King of the Crescent Cape?” he mimicked.

Another boy, blonde and tall, lay under the shade of a tree reading, scoffed, “Unfortunately.”

Reginald and Lukas locked eyes and smirked.

“Wait,” Reginald squinted at the blonde, “Is that- No way! It is, Lukas!”

“It so is!” Lukas gasped excitedly, “You’re Prince Alexander!”

“Of the Grybrian Isles? OMG!”

“Thought he’d be taller,”

“Thought he’d be more handsome,”

Alexander got to his feet, rolling his eyes, “Alright. Can you two be any more louder? Do you want them to find us?”

“Chill, they haven’t caught us yet,” Reginald reassured, leading the two other princes deeper into the patch of greenery on the tiny island, one that they all had discovered and have been running to to get away from prince duties for years now.

Lukas would have been driven to madness by royal duties if it weren’t for his friends from the neighboring kingdoms. He, Reginald, and Alexander had known each other their whole lives, their domains all clustered together that made visiting each other so easy.

But every now and then, they needed to get away from the watchful eye of their parents and guards and the citizens and just be… them.

Lukas was lucky to know that he wasn’t alone in feeling this way, and that he could always turn to his friends.

“You goons better be hungry,” Lukas announced, tossing the bag of food their way.

Reggie dug into the snacks ravenously, “When aren’t we?”

Meanwhile, Alex was pacing, set on a nervous bender, “Aren’t you guys… I don’t know… kinda nervous?”

“Hey,” Lukas flicked a crumb at the other prince, hitting his calf mid-stride, “Thought we weren’t gonna talk about it today.”

“We’re all gonna be king soon, how can we not talk about it?”

The three of them sighed.

Alexander continued on the runway, “I mean, do you feel ready? I’m not ready,”

“Nope,” Reginald popped the ‘p’, frowning, “I hate being the oldest.”

“Why do we have to rule a country at 17? That’s stupid,” Lukas complained, searching through the bushes

“‘It’s tradition, Alexander. It’s what you must do. For the good of Grybria’,” Alexander impersonated, “Ugh. My brother just had to abdicate. Can’t I do that? Can I just abdicate?”

“Your dad would never let you,”

“Maybe if I told him I’m gay, he’d disown me?”

“Alexander,” Lukas warned.

“I was joking!” the blonde muttered, “...mostly.”

“Well what about me?” Reginald started, “I couldn’t take care of a bunny. How can I run a country?!”

Lukas felt around the ground until he hit leather and lugged out a guitar case he had stashed for safe keeping.

“Boys, let’s just… drop it today,” he deescalated. Funny, since he was up for coronation first, his rehearsal ceremony in a few hours, but he was determined to squeeze in some quality time with his friends before he couldn’t anymore, “Can we just chill? For a little while?” While they still could...

The other princes nodded.

“Okay. Now…” he took out his guitar and slung the strap over his shoulder, “Wanna jam?”

That brought a smile onto all of their faces.

They gathered in a circle, Lukas signaling at Alexander, who immediately began clapping a beat:

“1, 2, 3, 4-”

Tagging: @blush-and-books @lydias--stiles @echocharm17618 @rainfallingfromthesky @pink-flame @ourstarscollided @caffeine-catastrophe @nottheleastbrave @brightattheorpheum @thedeathdeelers @tmp-jatp @lenacarstairspotterstewart @harpersdagger @annabelle-grisha-goddess @shelvesofgold @lwhoscribbles @futurearchaeologyprof @iridescentkippen @heademptynothoughts @crummycassidy @smolfangirl @a-dream-so-alive @that-one-utensil @lucid-h @homeinabookshelf @beaniesflannelandfannypacks @ilovefandoms @it-tastes-like-lizard

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #PPP!AU #prince protection program #prince protection program!AU #drabble #jatp au #tagging those who showed love on the last post #thank you!#hope you enjoy #luke patterson #alex mercer #reggie peters

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serenasoutherlyns · 3 years

Text

Not a Summer Crush Part Seven

a/n: It's heeeeere! The night before my classes start for the fall. There's a timeskip from the previous part-- Caroline, Alex, and Casey have all been together for about a month and it's the transition between fall and summer. This one features fighting and humor and lots of Jack McCoy. Any and all feedback makes my world!

Part Seven

The weeks passed in late nights spent in the same office, in morning lattes and afternoon runs (that often ended in the kinds of showers that don’t save water, with the almost frantic pulling off of clingy clothing, with breathy “god yes”-es and rushing to the door when either of you heard Alex’s key in the lock). Jack McCoy noted with pride how efficient it appeared your bureau had become since the summer started.

It was important to maintain a good amount of discretion. As progressive as the world may be becoming, you knew that the DA’s office had to keep up appearances; that it wouldn’t be good for you, and Jack (and, by extension, you again) for the media to get wind of your relationship. Besides, you wanted to keep it personal, special.

But oh. The thrill of the honeymoon phase is so irresistible.

A Friday night, one where the air began to have the kind of bite that previewed the coming fall, found you and Alex together in a candlelit restaurant waiting for Casey to join you. You had some sense, choosing a place not normally frequented by the Hogan Place set, in the opposite direction from your apartment. You set your glass of wine beside Alex’s and took her hand in yours, above the table this time. You couldn't resist leaning in, kissing her softly.

“Caroline,” she said as you pulled away, smiling at you with the same look you’d first seen months ago, that you hadn’t known was what it was until you’d seen it over and over as she pulled you tighter into her arms.

“Alex,” you said, enticingly, all but batting your eyelashes. She ran her fingers along yours in apology. “I know,” you said, placing your hands back on the table, leaning back against the booth seat. “We could always meet Casey when she gets to your place,” you said, looking at your phone. “Except she’s almost here.”

Alex laughed lightly. “You’re insatiable,” she scolded you, teasingly. You shrugged, knowing it was accurate. “And I’m hungry.” She picked up her menu.

Across the room, around the corner, sitting at a single table, Jack McCoy returned his focus to his book, trying to convince himself he hadn’t seen what he thought he did.

---

Jack was on high alert at the office. He had been too far away, he couldn’t be sure. And it was such an out of the way place-- he went there when he didn’t want every law student and defense attorney on the island to vie for a piece of his ear. So it couldn’t’ve been them, Jack thought. Who am I kidding? That’s exactly the kind of place they’d go. After all-- Jack knew from affairs.

He wouldn’t have expected this of Alex Cabot, knowing how in love she and Casey were. Though, now he considered the possibility, the two of you seemed to gravitate towards one another in a characteristic way. He remembered seeing her hand linger on your shoulder a beat too long in the courthouse hallway.

Who knows, he’d always expected Mike and Connie would go for it one day, and they still hadn’t. When Erika Keller and Anna Mikhailova had filed their disclosure he could’ve sworn he’d needed to get his eyes checked, having heard the way the two of them could argue. Maybe he wasn’t the best judge of things. Because I’m looking for myself in other people. He leaned in his chair. He’d do the introspection later. For now, he’d do what he could to keep one of his bureau chiefs out of a public scandal. Besides, they were too far away. It could’ve been anybody’s curls bouncing in laughter, could’ve been anyone’s impeccable posture. He hoped.

He made a point that Monday around noon to personally stop by the junior office on your floor, but found only Nick Anderson (who, he remembered, he needed to talk to about a possible change of bureaus) with his head buried in a journal.

“Mr. McCoy,” he said as soon as he realized he wasn’t alone, snapping the book shut harder than he needed to. “What can I do for you?”

“Hi, Nick,” Jack said, a little disappointed that he’d roused the guy from what was clearly riveting reading. “I was just looking for Caroline.”

Anderson’s face fell. Evidently, he was used to that line of inquiry. Poor guy. McCoy remembered the days when he’d given the least helpful junior ADAs piles of nothing to keep them out of his hair. No obvious changes, Jack noticed as he looked around your side of the office. No notes or photos or out-of-the-ordinary gifts. Though, someone needs to show this woman the value of an organized space, he thought. It’d be hard to notice anything among the pile of papers.

“Mr. McCoy?” he heard Anderson say.

“Yeah?” he replied, somewhat irritated.

“Oh um,” he said, what little confidence he had faltering. “I just said she was in Ms. Cabot’s office, sir.”

Jack’s stomach dropped. That may as well be “step one” in the old Jack McCoy playbook, get her in your space as often as possible. Oh come on, Jack. She’s her boss. They’re probably going over witness statements. Right. And how many witness statements did Sally and I review together while I was still going home to Ellen? He swallowed. “Thank you. And you don’t need to ‘sir’ me anymore. You’ve earned your desk.”

“Yes s-- got it, Mr. McCoy.” Anderson returned to his book. Jack continued down the hall.

---

“You really think she’s being honest?” Alex’s question was audible through her slightly-open door.

“She’s our witness!” you said, matching her tone. Somehow, the mood in the office was light even in your disagreement.

“Witnesses lie,” Jack said, surprising the both of you as he nudged his way in the room.

“When it’s in their best interest,” you said, acknowledging him with a nod in his direction. Jack liked how you didn’t let etiquette get in the way of your arguments. “Alex,” you said, pointing your gaze at her. I know that look. “What good does it do her to lie about who she was with?”

Alex fired right back at you, not bringing McCoy into the conversation. “She avoids embarrassment? Guilt? Fear? I’m not putting her on the stand unless we can verify her testimony.”

“Then we’re looking at an acquittal,” you said dryly.

“Because I won’t suborn perjury? O ye of little faith,” Alex responded. Jack caught a playful lilt in her voice. He was liking this less and less with each piece of evidence he uncovered.

“Do you know for certain she’s lying?” Jack said, breaking the intensity in the room.

“No, but--” Alex said.

“Exactly--” you said at the same time.

“Are you certain she’s telling the truth?” He asked. “This is People v Buckman?” he clarified. Alex nodded. You pushed an offending curl out of your eyes. “I would probably put her on the stand,” you smirked, “and when defense -it’s Elsie Campbell, right?- I’d have no recourse when defense tears her story to pieces.” You shrugged, never minding being the first to concede defeat.

“I’ll see if Detective Rollins is up for a coffee break,” you said, grabbing your phone and attache, but, Jack noticed, leaving your cardigan hanging on the extra hook. “Sometimes I wish I’d stayed in California,” you said, “reciprocal discovery would be pretty sweet.”

“Ouch,” Alex said as you walked out of the office. You waved a hand over your shoulder.

“Did you need something, Jack?” Alex asked, glad she’d known him long enough to be casual.

“Nothing,” he lied, and when she looked puzzled, said, “I was actually checking on the Buckman case.”

“I’m in no need of supervision,” Alex said under her breath. “Anything else I can clarify for you?”

Tell me I’m wrong about this, he thought. “No,” he said. “I’m sure you’ve got it under control.”

---

Of course, if Jack McCoy had been a more athletically inclined man, he may have run into you and Casey in the park two days before the restaurant, cooling down from the 5 and a half miles you’d done. He may have seen you tug on the hem of Casey’s tank top, seen her whisper something in your ear that made you blush and laugh, he may have caught the split second her lips met your jawline, seen the two of you heading off for the subway together.

And if he’d seen that first he may have tried to convince himself that it was another red ponytail and another person’s graceful lines. That there were so many people who jogged in that park, that it couldn't have been you.

He would’ve made a point to stop by the juniors’ office, maybe earlier in the day. Nick Anderson would’ve told him you were in Casey’s office and his stomach would’ve dropped. That may as well be “step one” in the old Jack McCoy playbook, get her in your space as often as possible. Oh come on, Jack. She’s her boss. They’re probably preparing for an admissibility hearing. He’d remind himself to schedule a meeting with Anderson for the end of the week.

He’d continue down the hall to find you and Casey sitting together, wordlessly handing one another documents highlighted in different colors. He’d remember the last time he was that in sync with an assistant and an undeniable flutter of recognition would’ve hit him.

But he hadn’t been in the park.

---

Your phone buzzed on the counter. You dried your hands quickly on the dishtowel, you turned off the tap. In the living room, Ashley was gathering the toys and books scattered about. Ramin was late at the office.

1 new message from: Alex to: you, Casey:

Alex: I just had quite the meeting with Jack.

---

“You wanted to see me, Jack?” Alex said, entering his office after most of the lawyers had gone home or

retreated to their own offices for the night.

“Actually, I’d really rather I didn’t need to,” he said. Alex’s concern showed on her face.

“Is this about the Buckman case? I know it’s going to be extra time to look into her statement,

but I really think this could be a break in the case, if she’s telling the truth or lying, so I thought it was justified. I could probably still make the argument without her, but it feels worth it--”

“No, the case is fine. Besides, it’s your case. I-- Alex we need to talk about… it’s maybe a more personal issue,” Jack said, shifting his hands’ position on the desk in front of him.

Alex’s eyes widened. “Are you speaking as my boss or as my friend?” Jack melted, remembering that they were friends, and that he could approach the topic as a friend. Though, usually, he wouldn’t have to confront a friend about their romantic life. Or if he did, it wouldn’t have professional repercussions. Electoral repercussions, he heard a younger, more emotional version of himself say to Adam Schiff 20 years ago. Sorry, Adam.

“Both, I hope, now that you mention it.”

Alex paused a moment, considering what to say. She had an idea what Jack was getting at, but no idea how he had come to that conclusion. He probably has some kind of sixth sense, she thought. “Start as my boss.”

Jack took a deep breath. “OK. I’ll tell you something Adam Schiff told me when I was in your position,”

Alex felt the need to stop him, to find out exactly what he thought he knew. “Wait. Before you reprimand me. What position am I in? What do you think I’m doing?”

“Jesus, Alex. What do you think you’re doing?” he asked. She didn’t answer him. “You’re having an affair with Caroline Haley.” He wasn’t asking her a question, and the disappointment in his voice was wounding. Alex took a deep breath. “You’re not going to deny it?”

“What makes you think we’re having an affair?” She was determined to out-wit him, get him to show her all his evidence before letting go of anything he was unaware of. Under New York law it is the prosecution’s responsibility to disclose any exculpatory evidence, she thought. And a lawyer who represents herself still has a fool for a client.

Jack looked at her blankly. Was she really going to make him spell it out? Well, he’d missed presenting cases. “I’ve noticed that she spends a lot more time in your office than her own,” he started. Alex’s poker face remained unchanged. “Your conversational style is, quite, amiable, ah,”

She couldn’t suppress a smile, then, biting back a laugh. “My apologies,” she said. “All you have as proof of this alleged affair is friendly conversation and spending time together?”

Jack tried to play into her humor. “I’ll remind you Ms. Novak Cabot,” he said, using her married name to see if it got a reaction (no luck), “that adultery is still a class B misdemeanor in the state of New York.”

Alex snatched that opportunity. He opened the door, your honor. “And how many three-month stays do you owe the good people of New York, Mr. McCoy?” He looked caught-out. The upper hand was hers. “Are you sure you’re not just seeing your old habits?”

“You know, it’s funny you should say that. Because after this coming election, I was going to ask you to be my EADA. But you know I can’t do that if there is even the slightest appearance of impropriety.”

“So this is about election results? You and I both know my patience for politics is--”

“Limited, yes. But don’t tell me you’re not the slightest bit interested.”

“I’d have to think about it, Jack,” she said honestly. It seemed to surprise him, which didn’t surprise her. He seemed to forget, often, that she’d arguably done much more important work (and he seemed to forget that Tracey Kibre had turned down the same position more than once, that some people enjoyed seeing their partners and the insides of their apartments every once in a while). “But that’s not why you wanted to talk to me, and you’ve yet to convince me that you have any idea about any affair.”

“Where were you last Friday evening?” Jack asked her, in full cross-examination confidence.

Alex flinched, her first misstep since she’d come in. She wasn’t going to out-right lie to him if disguising the truth would do. However he knew this (if he knew anything), she had no way of knowing how much he knew. “I had dinner with Caroline at a restaurant near her apartment in Brooklyn.”

“A working dinner?”

“I can’t be friends with my colleague?”

“Trilogy isn’t a particularly platonic place as far as I know,”

“You spied on me outside of work?”

“I happened to be there,” Jack said. Alex rolled her shoulders back, trying to let go of some of the anger she had at what felt like an invasion of her privacy, even if it had been public. “I saw her kiss you, Alex. I know.” Alex didn’t answer him. Jack, uncomfortable with the silence, said “I really do understand. I sympathize with what you’re going through, I know it isn’t easy.”

Her frustration gathered itself in her cold fingertips that she realized were gripping the arms of her chair, hard. “Actually, you don’t understand,” she said, quietly, as politely as she could. “You have an incomplete picture of the nature of our relationship.” Jack opened his mouth to argue. “I won’t say any more,” Alex said, certain, “except that Caroline has done absolutely nothing wrong, and if you go after her about any of this, you will have my resignation.” Jack nodded.

“You understand how something like this could look to the public? You understand that your position is at stake?”

“I understand.”

“I mean, just the power dynamic alone, disregarding the infidelity, and I hate to say it, but you know how rampant homophobia still is.” She clenched her jaw, but she didn’t look guilty.

“I know. Now, I’d like you to be my friend for a moment,” she said. “Please.”

He smiled weakly.

“As your friend, I’d tell you not to cheat on your wife,” Jack said. Alex looked serene.

“I won’t,” she said, rising from her seat. “Goodnight, Jack.” She left faster than he could return the sentiment. He’d hoped he had more comforting things to say. And he wanted to know what on earth she’d meant by “the nature” of their relationship. He trusted she’d take extra care now that she knew he knew. It was not going to be a fun secret to keep.

---

She didn’t tell you what the meeting was about, so you knew it couldn’t have gone well. Quite the meeting. You hoped it wasn’t what you thought it was. You said you’d be there soon. You moved through the apartment quickly, leaving the last of the dishes in the sink, snagging your keys off the hook, tossing them along with your phone into your backpack.

“Where are you going in such a hurry?” Ashley asked. You knew he’d been looking forward to catching up on episodes of The Bachelor, and you did hate to disappoint him. You looked up from tying your shoes.

“Alex and Casey’s,” you said. His shoulders dropped. “I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you.” He rolled his eyes. “What?” you asked. “You can watch without me, you know, I don’t mind.”

“I don’t care about the show,” he said, returning to his tidying.

You stood up, crossing your arms. “Something you want to say?” He shrugged.

“No, no. Go have fun,” he said.

“I don’t think it’s going to be a whole lot of fun,” you said, trying to keep the worry buried. “Alex texted, she said that Jack had called her into his office this evening over something.”

“That surprises you?” Ashley said, his voice high-pitched.

You looked at him with your eyes wide. “I’m sorry?” you said, resisting the urge to raise your voice.

“What did you think was going to happen, Caroline?” he said, with a patronizing look that made your stomach turn.

“I’m not sure what you mean,” you said. Two could play at passive aggression.

Ashley laughed bitterly. “I mean, did you not think twice before risking your job, everything you’ve worked towards to be what, the third wheel in a relationship that existed far before you came across it?”

“Ashley,” you warned him.

“I thought you were trying to work on the self-sabotage, I mean, you’ve never even been in a relationship before,”

“That’s not exactly true,” you said. You were starting to feel nauseous. He knew you well enough to know that he was pushing right on all your insecurities.

“That lasted more than a couple months, then, which is hardly anything.”

“I think we’ve gone over that a couple times-- Just because you’re so morally invested in monogamy doesn’t mean it’s for everyone--”

“You really want to be the girl who sleeps with the boss? No, sorry, the girl who sleeps with both of the bosses?”

“It’s-- wow. Tell me how you really feel.”

It was quiet for a moment as the two of you dared the other person to talk first.

“I just don’t think you’re making the best decision,” he said.

“I thought you were happy for me,” you replied, and walked out the door.

---

You didn’t usually ride your bike after dark. It felt right, though, as you went, releasing your nervous (and sad, and angry) energy out through the pedals. Your arms came up in goosebumps, from the chill in the air or the trepidation in your spine. It started to rain.

---

You and Alex arrived almost simultaneously. She was accepting a cup of tea that Casey was offering her when you came in. You were a walking cliché with your hair stuck to the side of your face, shivering. “Hi,” you said, shakily. You hadn’t quite been crying. The insecure part of you felt small, out of place, intrusive: they had this cozy, tidy, warm apartment, mugs of hot tea in their hands; and you were shattering it with the chaos that followed in the wake of your personal life. You were being so selfish, so inconsiderate, bringing your own emotional baggage with you despite Alex being the one having a hard time. For a split second you thought about leaving with no explanation, dashing out almost as soon as you shut the door. Casey held up a mug for you. It was one of a matching set of three.

“Jack thinks we’re having an affair,” Alex said, matter-of-fact, as you slipped out of your shoes and made your way to the counter Casey was leaning against. Alex was pacing, slowly, how she often did when she was figuring something out. You took a sip of your tea, grateful for the warmth, then set it on the counter and rested your head on Casey’s shoulder. She jumped and you laughed, the relief spreading through you. She squirmed as you pressed closer, letting out a squeak at the feeling. You let her go, listening to the quiet creaking of the floor.

“Which us?” you asked, matching the seriousness of the subject again. “All of us?”

“Just you and I,” Alex said.

“How did he come to that conclusion?” Casey asked, knowing there were equal cases to be made for any combination.

Alex stopped moving, pushing herself up to sit on the counter opposite to you. “To begin, he was apparently at Trilogy last Friday night.” The goosebumps threatened to make a repeat appearance. This was your fault.

“I’m so sorry,” you said, your eyes lost in your teacup. “I was reckless.” Out of the corner of your eye, you felt Apollo the duck stare at you accusingly with the stone cold eyes he didn’t have.

“Don’t be sorry. I was there too,” Alex said, meeting your gaze as you looked up. “He didn’t stick around long enough to see Casey.”

“What did you end up telling him?” Casey asked, letting herself be the problem-solver for the night.

“Very little,” she said. “He doesn’t have the complete story. That he should hold off on any judgements unless and until he did.”

“Did it work?” you asked.

“Well enough, I think. You don’t need to worry about your job. I threatened him with my resignation if he said a word to you about it.” Your heart beat faster. Sacrifices for your sake, or the offer of them, made you uneasy.

“You don’t have to put your career on the line for me,” you said, the same shaky tone edging into your voice again. Alex blinked at you, like it was no big deal, like it was the obvious choice. Casey traced circles on your shoulder blade.

“Nobody’s career is at risk, Caroline,” Casey said. “Honestly, imagine the kind of headlines that would break if Jack McCoy fired someone for adultery.”

“I don’t know what’s worse,” Alex said, “Jack’s disapproval right now, or how he might react if we just told him what’s going on. He made it clear his objection had more to do with poll numbers than morality.” Ashley’s words echoed in your head. You really want to be the girl who sleeps with the boss-- both of the bosses? Your fear must have been more obvious than you intended. “What’s wrong?” Alex asked you.

You swallowed. “It’s nothing,” you said, stopping yourself from spilling every anxious thought that came to you. “I’m fine. It’ll be fine,” you said, a real smile making its way out of you. You held your hand out for Alex’s and squeezed. She slid off the counter, letting herself be pulled in, letting whatever you weren’t saying stay unsaid for that moment. She also jumped when she first felt your wet clothes against her skin.

“Now, let’s get you out of those wet clothes,” she said. Your mouth was open in amusement as she started off down the hall. You began to follow but Casey stopped you briefly, hooking her ring finger into your belt loop.

“Whatever he said, it isn’t true,” she said, starting to run her warm hands underneath your shirt.

“How did you,” you said, feeling seen. “I didn’t say anything about it.”

“Give me some credit,” she said then kissed you gently, her body warming yours. “I’m very perceptive.” She gripped the bunched-up body of your t-shirt and you slipped your head through the top. Casey placed her palms against your ribs, holding you steady.

“Thank you,” you said, deep and low, as you kissed her again. The two of you, now almost equally damp, joined Alex. Six hands moved slowly, purposefully. Nothing felt desperate, fleeting. Only warmth filled you.

---

taglist: (I'm tagging a couple of my moots who aren’t on the taglist, let me know if you’d prefer I didn’t!)

@addictedtodinosaurs @nocreditinthestraightworld @cmmndrwidw @hi-i-1 @lesbianologist @readerhermit @@alexlivdoncas @laezzzi @imaginaryoperagloves (thank you for your help!!) @swimmingstudentchaos891

#Alex cabot #casey novak #calex #casey x Alex #calex x eader #Alex cabot x reader #casey Novak x reader #not a summer crush #law & order: svu #svu #svu fanfic #jack mccoy #this was the most fun I’ve had with this fic since ch. 3 lmao #comment on ao3 if you love me #Oh emi never stop posting fics at 2 am #also: I kind of hate the last line of this so. Enjoy #this should be the second to last chapter I think?#The girls r fighting tho :( by which I mean ash and Caroline

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noctualilith · 3 years

Text

Our Past Got Us Here

We all love the Harvard FinnLo pining, but after the amazing and painful art Haz posted today we needed an extra dose of fluff to balance the feels. Co-written with the amazing and eloquent @ais-for-alex , the characters and universe by queen of the hazelhoots @lumosinlove

The box with the ominous title Harvard in blood red sharpie should have been heavier for all the memories it carried, Logan thought as he hefted it on his desk in his new room. He was all moved in with Finn and Leo, unpacked and fitting seamlessly in their space just as he did in their lives… but for this one last box.

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he reminded himself that whatever he unearthed was firmly in the past now, and his present was so much lighter and happier than anything he would find in there.

He heard Finn and Leo moving around in the apartment and he knew they were there for him if he needed them. He knew Finn saw the box and suspected what was inside, if the way he was lurking close to his door was any indication. He also knew that this was his task first and foremost - to unpack the past and claim it fully as his own, with all the good and the bad it brought. This was where he met Finn. This was where he fell for Finn. This was where he carried the burning flame of all he felt for him, held it close and hid it away from everyone including himself, until it burned him from the inside. He could still feel the hot rush of shame and hurt he was so well used to pushing back under and avoiding at all costs.

Opening the box would mean coming face to face with it for the first time after years, no more deflecting.

He was ready. He was home, their home, the three of them together and he was ready.

He pulled the lid off the box and was met with Finn’s warm gaze staring at him from a treasured photograph lying on top, the two of them only a few weeks after Logan got to Harvard, throwing him back into a memory that cut with precision right into those places that hurt the most. Years ago, he had packed that box in a state of numb resignation, putting away his heart piece by piece, alone in his room back at Harvard because Finn had left him for a dream and it hurt too much to see the reminders all around him. He had been crying too hard by the time he placed that last photo in the box, Finn’s smiling face blurred by the tears and hidden away when he closed the box and tucked it away. Now the feeling roared to life in his chest, loud and hungry for a resolution.

He wasn’t ready.

He must have made a noise, or maybe Finn had a sixth sense for when Logan needed him because the next thing he knew were his arms wrapping him in a hug, the safest place on Earth as far as Logan was concerned.

“Lo, baby, we’re okay.” Finn murmured into his hair as Logan hid his face in his neck, breathing him in. They were okay, they were great, but there were still some things unsaid between them, an unspoken agreement to leave that box unopened for another day.

Well, it was open now and waiting for them on the desk innocently.

Logan took a breath and lifted his head, searching for a kiss and the reassurance that came with it. He wasn’t alone, with Finn thousands of miles away, both of them silent and hurting. He was here, with his boys, allowed to touch whenever he wanted. They were good at reminding him of that, too. He needed that reminder now.

“Tell me.” He knew Finn would understand what he was asking for. Logan wasn’t good at talking, but Finn could read him like an open book after all those years. Logan only realized how much after he stopped pushing him away and allowed himself to love and be loved exactly how he’d yearned for.

“We’re okay. I love you. I’m never leaving you. Leo is never leaving us. You moved in with us and everything is finally as it should be, because being away from you feels like I’m missing a part of myself and fuck, I’m done with that. Do you know how important you’re to me? I’ll spend the rest of our lives telling you, Lo.” Finn was cradling his face in his hands and pressing a kiss to his lips after every declaration.

Logan’s hands were grasping at the fabric of Finn’s hoodie - Leo’s hoodie, actually - and that brought an unbidden smile to his face, helping the words hit home. Finn, in Leo’s hoodie, in his room. He didn’t have to do this alone, do anything alone, ever again.

“I know, mon amour. It’s just-- we haven’t really talked about-- I know I wasn’t in a hurry to unpack all that and you probably weren’t either but I want to, now. I think I need to.” He gestured to the innocent-looking box, watching Finn step closer to it and look inside, emotions playing across his face. He knew what it represented, of course he did. He probably had one just like that at some point, or maybe his was still unpacked too.

Finn reached into the box and picked up the photo from the top, the same one that Logan could barely look at just moments ago. He held it out to Logan with a wistful smile. “Let’s unpack this one together, what do you say?”

“Yeah, I’d really like to do that.” Logan’s voice was shaky, but he was determined. They’d probably end up crying, he could already feel the hot press of tears behind his eyes just thinking about all the memories that they were going to bring to light, but he wanted them all. He wanted to touch them, to put them up on his walls and see them every day without hurting for their past selves. A story of how they got to here and now, of how they lost each other and then found each other again. How they found their missing piece and built a home together.

He took the photo from Finn, their fingers brushing and unfailingly sending sparks across Logan’s skin. It’s been like that since he could remember, Finn’s touch like a brand, whether accidental and forcedly platonic for the longest time, or purposeful now but no less exciting with the promise of forever. It made him feel brave, so he cast around for the tape and tore a piece to stick it to the back of the photo. First one for the wall. First memory to unpack.

“You remember this one?” he asked Finn while he picked a place for it, pressing it to the wall and making sure it held. “I loved you already, when we took this photo. I was trying to convince myself that I couldn’t, but I did.” He heard Finn behind him suck in a breath, but he stayed quiet, letting him speak. Logan turned a bit, just enough to reach his hand back, wordlessly asking for the next photo, sticking it to the wall without looking at it first.

It was a photo of the two of them at a party. At the party.

“Lo--” Finn started behind him, already gearing up to tell him they could do this another day, Logan could hear it in his voice. It’s happened often enough. Logan was sick of it, of swallowing the pain and the tears and hiding in the safe topics of their everyday life, like what to get for dinner and who should drive.

“I’m sorry.” He interrupted Finn, softly but with determination, still looking at the photo. He felt Finn pressing himself along his back, one arm coming up to drape over his shoulder, his hand pressing over his heart. There was another photo of them, just like this, a favourite of Logan’s and currently in Finn’s room, another piece of his heart captured forever. He leaned back into the embrace, drawing strength from the unwavering support. Now, then, always, Finn was by his side no matter how often Logan pushed him away. He was done pushing him away.

“I shouldn’t have done that, at the party. It was a shitty thing to do. I’m sorry. You deserved so much better.” Logan felt the first tear roll down his face, felt Finn’s breath stutter in his chest.

“I’m sorry too. You weren’t the only one not talking about it, you know? It’s on me, too. And we’re better now, aren’t we?”

Logan nodded wordlessly, breathing through the swell of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him when he thought about that night. A miracle turned into a secret and sitting heavy and unaddressed instead of being treasured as it should have been.

Finn spoke for the both of them, needing to acknowledge in words what happened. “That was our first kiss, Lo. I still remember it, like it happened just yesterday. I loved you already, when we took this photo. I couldn’t believe what happened after. I’m glad it did.”

Logan turned to him at that, surprised. “You’re glad? I blamed it on being drunk and then never talked about it. It might as well not have happened at all! Our first kiss was a lie and I can never change it. How--” Finn pressed a kiss to his lips and stayed there, interrupting his rant and waiting for him to kiss back before pulling away again, keeping their foreheads together.

“I’m glad because we’re here now. We’re talking about it now. It was real to me, Lo. I was afraid then, too. I’m not anymore, you’re not anymore. We found each other. We found Leo. That’s what matters.” Finn’s eyes were swimming in tears but he was smiling, and Logan couldn’t help but kiss that smile right off his lips. “You’re right. That’s what matters. Gimme the next one. Let’s talk about all of them.”

The wall was slowly filled with memories and their weight was lifted from their unspoken past word for word as they remembered each moment for the good and the bad. So often Logan had felt close to crumbling under the guilt, but Finn was right there holding him close and offering him absolution with each new piece out of the box, like it was the easiest thing in the world.

Beside photos, there were other things too. Movie tickets, four of them from the same movie they kept going back for. A receipt from a dinner at a roadie, just the two of them, where Finn doodled stick figures playing hockey while they waited for dessert. Crumpled notes that Finn would sometimes leave stuck to Logan’s door, sometimes a shopping list, sometimes an inside joke. Logan kept them all.

FInally, the box was empty and the wall was full. Logan felt exhausted but his heart was lighter than it had been in years, brimming with love for his boys and gratitude for the road that brought him here. He and Finn stood shoulder to shoulder in the middle of the room, looking at the wall, tears drying on both their faces.

“I want Leo” Logan spoke into the comfortable silence, pulling on Finn’s arm, suddenly eager to have them both close, to bask in the reality of having them, of being loved by them. “Come on Harz, let’s find him.”

Finn reeled him back in for one more kiss. “Love you, Lo.”

“Love you, too. Love Leo. Want Leo now.”

“Yeah, me too. Come on, he’s in the kitchen.” Logan was already squirming away and Finn let him pull them from the room and towards the kitchen where they could hear the clatter of utensils. He did the hard work and now he wanted his rewards. He wanted his boys close.

Hand in hand, they padded down the hall towards the kitchen, towards their missing piece, towards their future, leaving all the guilt and the hurt finally where it belonged; in their past.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Leo brushed a bit of flour from his hands. He suppressed the urge to wander into Logan’s room where he knew his partners were unpacking more than just the old boxes beaten by years of hiding in the closet. Those old boxes that carried memories of Finn and Logan’s days spent so close to each other but separated by an ocean of feelings that fit between their dorm beds.

No, Leo had to let them unpack together. Finn and Logan needed to be the ones to pull each memory from the moth eaten cardboard. They needed to be the ones to hold them close to their hearts and feel, and once the hurt of all those years past had been aired away they could finally hang those memories on the walls to look at without that bitter hurt anymore.

Leo would wait though, he would wait for them to emerge from the solemn confessional of Logan’s room, he would wait for them to be ready, he would wait until they wanted him there to pull them back together. He would wait for them forever. Luckily though he didn’t have to wait forever. Leo turned as he heard their footsteps padding closer to the kitchen.

“Hello, my loves,” he said as Finn and Logan peeked their heads in to see what he was doing.

“Mmm,” Finn hummed in greeting and came up to press a soft sweet kiss to Leo’s lips. Out of the corner of his eye Leo saw Logan hop up to sit on the counter. When Finn finally pulled away his lips were pulled into a gentle smile and his eyes as warm and sweet as melted chocolate. Leo sighed at the sight, but turned to Logan who was softly kicking the cabinet doors where his feet dangled from the counter.

“Hi baby,” he whispered, slotting himself between Logan’s knees and running his hands soft against his thighs. Logan sighed and wrapped his legs around Leo’s waist pulling him in closer.

“You all unpacked?” Leo asked so softly for a moment he wasn’t sure Logan had actually heard him. But he saw that look in Logan’s bright green eyes that meant he was thinking, choosing his words carefully before he tried to speak. So Leo waited, he reached up to lightly trace his fingers against the scratchy stubble on Logan’s jaw as his partner gathered his thoughts. Leo felt Finn settle in behind him, pressing his chest flush to his back and rest his chin on his shoulder. He turned his face inwards pressing closer just to place a kiss to the soft skin on Leo’s neck.

“Yeah,” Logan finally answered with a sigh, he turned his face to nuzzle into Leo’s palm. “It was- it was hard,” he whispered, then looked over at Finn still resting his head on Leo’s shoulder and smiled softly. “But as hard as it was to live through, and remember, I don’t think I would change even a minute of it.”

Leo gave him a bit of a puzzled look at that, why on earth wouldn’t he change it if he could? Why would he be willing to live through that pain? Logan chuckled lightly at his confusion and leaned forward to press a chaste kiss to the corner of Leo’s mouth.

“Mon amour, I would live every minute of it again and not change a thing, because mine and Finn's past is what led us to you. And you know what? Thinking of it like that, it doesn’t hurt at all.”

Leo couldn’t help the sheen of tears that glazed his eyes, or the sniffles as he reached forward to pull Logan fully into his arms, holding him tight like he couldn’t bear to leave even an inch of space between them.

“We love you so much Nutty,” Finn whispered, pressing a kiss to the nape of his neck, “you make it easier. God, you make everything better.”

“Guys,” Leo sighed at the feel of them pressed so close against him, “this wasn't supposed to be about me.”

Logan reached out to cup his face, his eyes bright and sure as they gazed into Leo’s own, “sweetheart, it’s about us, all three of us, together. Our past, and yours, they were stepping stone to get to this exact moment.”

“Leo,” Finn said softly, he pulled away slightly and turned Leo to look at him so his back was now pressed against Logan's chest where he was still sitting on the counter. Logan twined his arms around Leo’s torso as Finn tilted his chin just so until he couldn't look anywhere but those chocolate eyes. “It’s time we all moved on from the past, ok? Instead, lets focus on building a future, one for all of us, that we’ll get to spend the rest of our lives cultivating.”

Leo swallowed hard, Finn's words seemed to crawl into his heart mending cracks and fissures he hadn’t realized were there. His words put to rest that horrible feeling that crept into Leo’s mind in the dead of night, in those moments he was all alone with no one to soothe away the fear, that he was the odd man out. That one day Finn and Logan would realize that they didn't need him, because they already had a foundation to build on.

“I love you guys so fucking much,” he breathed, and felt Logans arms tighten around him. Finn smiled and leaned in, pressing closer gently until they were so close they were breathing the same air.

“D’accord, d’accord,” Logan mumbled into his shoulder, he breathed in deeply then continued, “no more sad for tonight.”

“I think I can get on board with that,” Leo said with a chuckle.

“Same,” Finn agreed before finally pulling away.

Leo grinned and padded back to the other side of the kitchen where he had left ingredients for dinner strewn across the counter, “Well, do you guys want to help me make dinner then?”

“Le, my precious Peanut Butter, I need you to understand this;” Finn said seriously, “just because we have grown emotionally does not mean our skills in the kitchen have improved in the slightest.”

“Well yeah, and they never will if you don’t let me teach you,” Leo teased, snagging a dish towel and snapping Finn in the thigh.

Logan laughed at Finn's pout as he rubbed the welt now forming and jumped down from the counter, “Alright Nutty, teach us your ways, impart your vast cooking wisdom upon us.”

Leo rolled his eyes at their dramatics but set them to work nonetheless. Finn was tasked with peeling potatoes, with a stern warning from Leo about slicing off his finger. As he was prepping the meat, Leo glanced over at Logan who seemed to be having far too much fun smashing the crackers to make a breading. He couldn't help but grin as he felt warm affection rush through his veins, like he had injected pure love directly into his bloodstream. Leo couldn't wait to feel this for the rest of his life, to build and grow with them, and love them for as long as humanly possible.

It wasn't long before their kitchen was filled with laughter, and banter, and music played over the bluetooth speakers. The three of them worked in tandem, until the delicious aroma of home cooked food was wafting through their apartment. And so what if Finns mashed potatoes were a bit soupy, and what if the veggies Logan chopped were a bit uneven, it was something that they created together, Leo wanted to savor every bite.

#lumosinlove #coast to coast #sweater weather #inspired by coast to coast #inspired by sweater weather #coast to coast fic #sweater weather fic #O'Knutzy #Finn O'Hara #Logan Tremblay #Leo Knut #FinnLo #Harvard pining but with comfort #domestic fluff #needed fluff after that art Haz hit us with today #here is our humble offering

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