#alden annoyed me too
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Caught in a Snow Storm ~ Alden Parker 1/2
Summary: After a work road trip, you and Alden have to stop at a hotel cause the roads are being closed and there’s only one room left.
Warnings: one bed, heater goes out, smut, age gap, smoking, handjob, oral (f receiving).
Words count: 5.2k
Author’s note: yes, despite being summer, I’m writing winter fics. I couldn’t shake this idea off my head so I finally wrote it down. Second part coming soon! Special mention to Supernatural in this work because 18 years later, I finally fell into the rabbit hole. I hope you’ll like it! ❤️
None of this was planned. Nothing happened the way it should have. The whole trip was a major waste of time, giving you zero info for your murder case and even less a lead. On top of that, a huge snow storm hit, blocking the roads and you had to stop at the first hotel you found. You usually love the snow, you find it beautiful when it’s all white outside. But this time, it was just the cherry on the cake. “Do you have everything you need for a sleepover?” You did this trip with your team leader, Alden Parker. You didn’t want to go in the first place.
The idea of being stuck in a car for almost three hours with your crush didn’t sound appealing. Not that you mind being with him, you actually love his company, love talking to him about all kinds of things, love his face when he smiles, or how his eyes are soft whenever he looks at you. You love how his mustache is dark while the rest of his beard - and hair - keeps getting whiter. But you still didn’t want to, because of what happened the week before.
Despite being cold outside, the sky was clear blue and the sun was out. You love this exact kind of weather, and ever since you found out about the roof, you enjoy going up for a break, taking some deep breaths, having a smoke and just appreciate the quiet. And that was exactly what you did. Smelling the nice scent coming from the bakery down the street, a cigarette in hand, you relaxed. You even took a couple of pictures of this nice view.
“You know,” you jumped for a second at the sound of his voice straddling you. He chuckled at your reaction. “Ever since I joined, I’ve been wondering where your secret smoking spot is.” He got closer to the ledge, taking in the view. You tried not to stare too much.
“Did you follow me here, Parker?” You puffed on your cigarette.
“Just a little at the time. Nice spot. But the cigarette—“
“I know, I don’t need the lecture. I’m not a heavy smoker, you know.” You stayed a few steps away from him, not wanting to overwhelm him with the bad smell of nicotine.
“Just when you’re overwhelmed or want to relax.”
You didn’t know what to think about the fact that he noticed all of this. And was intrigued enough that he found your secret spot. You felt all giddy, but buried it deep inside you.
“After sex, too.” As soon as it left your lips, you regretted it. Where was this coming from? Technically, it is true, you enjoy a smoke after sex, but it wasn’t something Alden Parker needed to know. You felt so horrified that you stopped looking at the man and just focused on the view and your cigarette that was coming to an end. You would probably need another one. “I shouldn’t have said that.” You managed to say.
“Yeah,” he agreed and you felt even worse. “Look, I’m not going to tell you how bad it is for you, cause I know how annoying that is—I’ve been there.” You looked at him, forgetting your embarrassment for a second. “Just that if and when you decide to try to stop, I’ll be happy to help.”
“H—how did you stop?”
“That’s actually one of the good things that came out of my marriage with Vivian. She really wanted me to stop, so we came to an agreement that everytime I needed to smoke, I’d reach out to her. I’d call if we weren’t together, or just tell her if we were, and she’d do her best to take my mind off it.”
“And it really worked?”
“After a while, yeah. It did. But also because I wanted to stop. If you don’t have that in the first place, no matter what you do, it won’t work.”
“I’ll— think about it. Thank you for offering your help.”
Your cigarette was long gone, and you put the bottom away in a little ashtray you hid.
“We’re a team.” He smiled at you. That damn smile that makes you want to reach for him and kiss him until you can’t breathe.
You went back to the bullpen together. “I do miss a good cigarette after sex though.” He just said before you left the roof.
Maybe you spent the entire week overthinking this. He obviously didn’t mind what you said, but you still felt horrified by it. Why would you say something like that to him? Clearly, he knew what that feeling was like, but it still wasn’t worth mentioning. He did agree when you said you shouldn’t have said it though. Did it make him uncomfortable? He probably doesn’t want to know anything about his coworkers sex life.
Not that you had any lately.
When you finally reached a hotel, you thought it would be it. You couldn’t wait to get into your room, lay down and relax. Probably go back down later to smoke. The ride itself wasn’t bad at all. Alden was his usual self, you two talked about many stuff in the car, some were work related and some weren’t. At some point, it felt like he was trying to know you better than he already did. After all, you’ve been working together for just a year, and it’s not like you two spend a lot of alone time together.
“I’m sorry we’re booked.” The receptionist started to say, and you sighed heavily. “Lots of people decided to stop when they announced the storm coming up. All we have left is a suite.” You and Alden looked at each other.
“It’s either that or the car.” He said.
“Fine. But accounting better not give us hell for that.”
“Is this a work trip?” The lady asked, surprising both of you.
“Yeah, why?” Alden asked.
“Because that suite—only has one bed.”
“Fuck me.” You muttered a bit too loud. But Alden agreed for the room.
“We’re adults.” He said in the elevator. “We’ll build a pillow wall if it makes you feel better.”
“Sure. Adults and pillow walls really fit together.” You rolled your eyes. Alden chuckled.
“Have you ever slept in the same bed as a friend or something?”
“Yeah, of course. But it’s different.”
The elevator’s doors opened and Alden walked out first. “If it really grosses you out to share a bed with me, I’ll sleep on the floor, Y/N.”
You usually love when he says your name, but not this time. You could tell by his tone that you upset him. Hurt him, maybe? But wasn’t it better that he thought something like that than know the truth? That you didn’t want to share a bed because you were scared of what it may do to you. You followed him into the suite. It was very beautiful, spacious, and kinda—romantic. Not helping.
“That’s not what I meant, Alden.” He put his backpack down.
“I saw a little store down the street, I’m gonna go buy a few things.” He walked past you to reach for the door again. “Do you need anything?” He still asked.
“A pack of cigarettes?” You heard his quiet growl.
“I was thinking more like some food? Hygiene products? PJs?”
“Do you really think they are selling PJs in that mini store?”
“I’m hoping. Sleeping on the floor is one thing, but sleeping on the floor in my suit? I’d rather not.”
“You’re not sleeping on the floor.” You told him.
“Are you?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah right.”
You knew he wanted to ask you why it was different with him. Why did you seem so repulsed by the idea of sharing a bed?
“I’ve got everything I need, thanks.”
Alden nodded and left.
This would be alright, yes? It was just one night. The bed was big enough for you two, you wouldn’t need a pillow wall. You just hoped his scent wouldn’t drive you crazy, that his body heat wouldn’t warm your insides.
While Alden was gone, you called McGee to give them updates - not that you had much - and listen to theirs. You exchanged a few theories about the case. And finally told him that you’ve found a hotel to spend the night. “Where’s Parker?”
“He needed a few things for a store downstairs. How are the roads in DC?”
“Not too bad yet, but we’re all heading back home before we have to sleep in the office.”
“Lucky you.”
“Be safe and stay warm.”
“Not too warm though.” You overheard Nick. The team knew about your crush on Alden. They all figured you out little by little.
“Tell him he’s a dead man.”
“She’s going to kill you.” Tim said to Nick, laughing.
“Love you too!” Nick shouted.
You were still working on your computer when Alden came back from his little trip. You immediately noticed the snow all over his dark coat, his hair was wet, and he looked absolutely frozen. “It’s getting bad.” You stood up to take a quick look through the window. Everything was covered in snow and the night was dropping. “The store owner told me that a neighborhood close by lost power. We may be next.”
“Wonderful.”
As Alden took his coat and jacket off, you went to grab a towel from the bathroom and offered it to him. “For your hair.”
“Thank you.” He dried off his hair, and sat on bed to take off his wet socks. He looked at you puzzled when you extended your hand.
“It’s just socks. They need to dry.”
You disappeared in the bathroom to put them on the tower heater, while it still worked. When you came back, Alden was sitting on the bed in his white undershirt, his belt was unbuckled. You forced yourself not to stare. “We can eat downstairs but I don’t feel like moving just yet. You can if you want to be alone.”
“Not hungry for now. You should take a shower while there’s still hot water, that’ll warm you up. I put a towel on the heater.”
You could feel his eyes on you even though you had your back turned to him. “Thank you.” And he was gone to the bathroom.
This was going to be alright.
You took a look in the bags he brought back. Was this considered sneaking? He didn’t say anything about it being private, and you could see a bag of chips on top anyways. And you found mostly snacks, a bag of your favorites. There was your favorite kind of tea, and some coffee powder. And obviously, a box of pastries. You smiled at that. If Alden doesn’t find his way to pastries, pastries will find their way to him.
Then you grabbed the hotel menu, looking at what could interest you. Unlike you told Alden, you were hungry, you just didn’t want to eat alone. And you wanted to make up to him for hurting his feelings earlier.
He came back from the bathroom, wearing some night shorts, his white t-shirt and a black zipper on top. His hair was still a little wet, and messy. You’ve never seen his beautiful hair like this and you loved it even more. Alden looked so casual, and cozy, you realized this was what it’d be like to date the man. This could be one of your daily views, if only— if only.
You were on the bed, scrolling on your phone, your legs under the blanket as it was getting a bit colder. “You should go too.” He told you, and you agreed. Walking past him as he smelled fresh from the shower turned your upside down. You hurried to the bathroom and locked up. A cold shower was more needed than a hot one. You almost gave up to your urges in the shower and touched yourself, but your embarrassment afterwards would be written all over your face, and Alden could read you very easily.
You needed to smoke.
“You were looking at the menu. Do you want to order something?”
“Do you?”
You definitely noticed how Alden looked at you from head to toes, even though there was nothing to see. You were wearing an oversized hoodie that you always have with you during winter, and your work pants. “I don’t have shorts like yours or anything similar.” You answered his silent question.
“Get under the blanket and take them off. I’m staying here for now anyway.”
You did as told, because you honestly wanted those pants off. Alden stayed seated at the little table. “So, food?”
“The grilled cheese sounds good.”
“Drink? I got you some tea for later, but you already saw that.”
It was the first time since you got the room that you and Alden actually looked at each other. You could tell he was teasing you for looking into the bags, so you smiled. “My favorite. Thank you by the way.”
You gave Alden your full order and he called the reception, who informed him about the heating system issue. The room temperature was clearly dropping. You pulled on your sleeves to cover your hands, and put the hood on. “We can get an extra blanket, or hang out around their chimney.”
“I’d rather stay here for now. And get your ass under the blanket too.”
“I’m good.”
“For the love of god, Alden! I’m not grossed out by the idea of sharing a bed with you! Or anything like that for that matter.”
“No, I know. I get it. I’m your team leader, I’m quite older than you. It’s not very comfortable, like sleeping with your weird uncle or something.”
You laughed, but Alden looked serious.
“You’re definitely not the weird uncle.”
“Yeah, tell that to my nieces and nephews.”
“I’d rather trust Eli.” You smiled and he returned it. You and the team learned about Alden’s godson only recently. You’ve met his former FBI partner, Jeremy, who talked about his son Eli, and how much he loved his godfather. You had no doubt believing that Alden was a loving godfather, who took his role very seriously. And you loved that about him. “Get under the blanket, Parker.” You said again, and this time he did. He stayed very much on his side though, a huge gap between your body and his. “Plug your phone before the power goes out.” He said, plugging his own.
As you left the bed to grab your phone charger - and computer - you forgot that you had no pants on. It didn’t even occur to you when you slightly bent over to get it from your bag. It was only when you walked back to the bed, and saw how red Alden’s cheeks were that you realized. You basically jumped under the blanket, mortified. “I’m sorry! I completely forgot—sorry.”
“It’s okay.” He cleared his throat. “No worries.”
“Let’s agree that if either of us does something that makes the other uncomfortable, we can just say it. Yeah?”
“Deal.”
How could you look him in the eyes now?
Both of you on your side of the bed, focusing on your phones, the room became totally quiet. You didn’t know what was more uncomfortable, the fact that you just saw your panties, and that you’re both so ill at ease, you can’t even talk, creating this awful atmosphere.
Finally, your order came in. You obviously decided to eat on the bed, the blanket covering you as much as possible. “I can put up something on my laptop if you want.” You offered.
“Yeah, why not.”
You gave him a few options as he settled the food.
“What’s Supernatural?”
“Seriously? Dean and Sam Winchester, chasing demons and all kinds of creatures?”
“That sounds—“
“Like what we’re watching. Sit.”
And you did just that. Eat dinner in bed, covered by a comfy blanket, watching the first episode of Supernatural… with your team leader. Your crush. The guy who’s much older than you.
You didn’t know who was the most surprised by how Alden got into it. He was asking you a bunch of questions, some that you couldn’t answer without spoiling. “Just because it’s not that bad, doesn’t mean I’ll binge the whole thing. Don’t care about the spoilers.”
“I do. So, if you want to know what killed the boys’ mom, just watch it.”
Alden was leaning against the headboard, an arm behind his head. He looked even more cozy than he did earlier. You could so easily lay down on his chest, and cuddle as you watch the show. “Maybe I should go down and get that extra blanket.” He said at the end of the episode.
“I will go. I’m gonna smoke.”
“I didn’t buy you a pack.”
“Always have a few with me. Do you think you can avoid freezing to death for ten minutes?”
“You’re the one going outside. Wouldn’t you prefer to stay warm here and talk to me?” He offered. How he managed to stop smoking. “We can watch another ep, if you want.”
“You’re hooked.” You grinned.
Alden turned on his side, leaning a little closer to you. “Well it’s always nice to know how to defend myself if I ever encounter a demon.”
“Or a vampire, or a werewolf, or a rougarou.”
“What the hell is a rougarou?” He laughed.
“Binge. The. Show.” At every word, you got closer to Alden. So close your forehead almost brushed his. A little more and you could’ve kissed the man. And it obviously took both of you by surprise.
“I’ll go get the blanket. Be back in a few.” He was gone before you could say anything.
By the time he came back, you had cleared the bed from the plates and food, made sure that there were no crumbs or anything in the sheets, put his water bottle on his nightstand, and waited. The extra blanket looked fluffy and pretty warm, and Alden couldn’t wait to get under. “It’s freezing in those damn hallways.”
You grabbed the blanket from his arms and set it just right on the bed. You took your computer, settling it between your hips and Alden’s, maybe it acted as a barrier. “You’re cold.” You could feel his coldness despite the gap.
“You think?” His vest was close up to the top, and he put his hood on just like you. Without thinking further, you reached out for one of his hands. It was frozen.
“Gimme the other one.” Puzzled, he gave you his hands. You put them in the big pocket of your sweater, and covered them with yours. His hands were much bigger than yours but you didn’t care. You moved your fingers on his skin, putting a bit of pressure to get the blood flooding properly.
“Do you have another pocket for my feet?” He asked as you felt his legs getting closer.
“I swear if you put your cold feet on my legs, I’ll scream.”
In the pocket where the four hands were, you didn’t know who was trying to warm who. They were mixed together, you could feel his fingers moving against your palm and wrist. Alden chuckled, his legs got even closer.
“Parker, I have a gun.”
“So do I. And I’m a better shooter.”
“We’re 1 to 1, so no, you are not.”
You and Alden went to the shooting range a couple of times. It started with a little teasing about your aim after a case, and it turned into a competition. Whoever wins the next round has to invite the other for dinner. His idea.
Did it mean something?
“When this case is over, we’re doing the last round. I can’t wait for my free dinner.”
“Be careful. I could take you to the worst and cheapest restaurant ever.”
“In that case—“
Before you knew it, Alden’s legs were intertwined with yours. His feet were pressed against your calves, and your body got much closer to his. You let out a small scream of surprise before trying to fight him off. But his hands had left your pocket to lock you down. To be honest, with your training, you could get out of his hold but he wanted to play, so you were going to indulge. He was holding you so tight that your hands were stuck in your pocket. You tried to sneak your way out, until you both heard a thump. “Was that my laptop?” You asked.
“Uh-huh.”
“If it’s broken, you’ll explain to accounting why I need a new one.” You lifted your head to look at him. “Shouldn’t be too hard for you.”
“Why’s that?”
“According to the rumors, you dated—“
“Come on. Don’t tell me you believe those rumors?”
“Well, they are around your age, some are single. And Kathy is very beautiful.”
You felt his hold loosen a little but honestly, you didn’t want him to let go of you. You wanted to stay there for as long as possible. He smelled so good, his body felt perfect against yours. Being this close to him felt—right.
“Mmm… that’s true, she is. Do you think I have a chance with her?”
You forced yourself to smile. “Of course you do. You’re clever, handsome, sweet, funny, passionate. And you have the best head of hair ever.”
He laughed at that. From where you were, you saw his throat bobbing. His Adam’s apple was so close, all you wanted was to kiss it. His laugh was the best sound you’ve heard, and it was even better when you were the reason he was laughing.
“I figured you loved my hair when a month after I joined the team, you accidentally touched it.”
“It was an accident, Alden! I was reaching for the file and your head was on the way!”
“Sure it was. I have such a big head.”
“Aldeeeen!” You whined and somehow your face buried itself in his neck. “I swear I didn’t—“
“I’m just teasing you.” He chuckled.
Realizing that you were basically cuddling the man, you were ready to move away and get some much needed distance. Especially that Alden’s released the last bit of pressure they had on you. But before you could move even just a little, his arms closed again. This time, he wasn’t locking you down. He was hugging you. Cuddling you.
“We should stay like this if we don’t want to freeze to death. Unless it makes you uncomfortable—“
“I’m good.” You immediately said. You didn’t want to move. Not now, not ever. “You’re lucky your feet are warm now.”
“Thanks to you.”
After a long moment and an internal debat, you moved your arms to hold him back. You felt his body relaxing entirely, and yours did the same. And you stayed like long enough that you both fell asleep.
Three hours later, you woke up. You and Alden were practically in the same position, except that he rolled a bit of his back, and one of his hands was dangerously close to your butt.
Your skin was damped. You were hot and sweating. Pulling the blankets just a little, you realized that the room wasn’t cold anymore. As slowly and quietly as possible, you moved out of Alden’s arms and left the bed. The heater was working very well, your hoodie wasn’t needed anymore so you got rid of it, as well as your socks. You were now in a tank top and panties, but couldn’t bring yourself to care. Especially not after what happened earlier.
You removed the extra blanket as gently as you could so Alden wouldn’t wake up. Then, you crawled back in bed, stared at his beautiful and peaceful face before slowly opening the zipper of his vest. You were halfway through it when his body moved and you felt his eyes on you. “The heating system got fixed. You should take it off.”
“You were doing a great job.” He sleepily said. You opened the vest entirely, and tried to remove it from one of his arms.
“A little help, Alden?”
Half asleep, he sat up and put his arms in the air like a toddler wanting to be undressed. You quietly laughed and undressed him, almost straddling his lap. It surprised you when he got rid of his t-shirt too before laying back down, taking you with him.
Alden was shirtless. You could feel him, you could touch his chest if you were bold enough. You wanted to turn on the lights and see his body, admire it, imprint in your brain forever. You were about to relax and just enjoy this moment, but it was when he let go of you and practically turned on the other side. “Oh” left your lips as it surprised you, confused you and kinda hurt you.
“Male body reaction.” You heard him say. “It’s better I stay on my side.”
It took you a couple of seconds to understand. “What if I don’t want you to stay on your side?” You whispered and moved closer. You didn’t know what had gotten into you at this moment. Maybe you were going to die of embarrassment, maybe you’d have to quit your job in the morning. Or maybe—
You were now spooning Alden. “Remember our agreement? If one of us does something that makes the other un—“
“Yeah.” He cut you off.
Slowly, you ran your hand from bare back to his chest. He started to breathe heavily. You loved the hair that was there. You touched his pecs, his tummy, making him growl, and reached the waistband of his shorts. You softly kissed his shoulder and Alden melted. His hand went up and down your forearm that was around him. “I need you to agree to this, Alden.” You whispered into his ear, “Don’t want to take advantage of sleepy you.” You planted a kiss under his ear.
“I’m very much awake, sweetheart.” His head leaned back into you. “You can do anything to me.”
When was the last time someone took care of this man?
Your hand finally got into his shorts. You had barely touched his length that he moaned. When your hand wrapped around his cock, you didn’t expect it to be this thick. You got even wetter than you already were. You collected his pre cum on the tip, and used it to start stroking. “Fuck!” He growled deeply. He completely leaned into you, his hand reaching for your hair, neck, face. He was needy and you loved it. You freed his cock from the shorts and stroked him slowly, putting just enough pressure. You kissed his cheek, nipped his ear. You were able to move your other arm under his head, which allowed him to touch his chest. Between the noises he was making, you could tell he wanted to talk, he wanted to say something but everything died on his tongue. “Kiss me.” Was all he could say as he turned his face and you did. All teeth and tongue, all needy and desperate. Alden was now on his back, his hips moving. You weren’t sure if you were giving him a handjob or if he was fucking your hand. That you cared.
“I’m gonna—“ he choked and growled.
You kissed his cheek and whispered to his ear again. “Cum for me, Alden. I’ve got you.” A few more sloppy strokes and he was coming all over his stomach, your name dying on his lips along curse words, his fist holding onto your hair for dear life - it stung a little but you loved it.
You watched him coming down from his high, playing with his hair. His chest was rising and falling rapidly as he was catching his breath. The post orgasm bliss on his face. You kissed his cheek, “I’ll go get a towel.”
When you came back, Alden had turned the nightstand light on, and he looked absolutely perfect. Naked, satisfied, relaxed… the best version of Alden Parker you’ve ever seen until now.
He tried to reach for the towel but you slapped his hand away, and cleaned the sticky mess on his stomach. As soon as you were done, Alden grabbed you and pinned you on the bed, his body covering yours. “I think we can say that our platonic work relationship is ruined.” His eyes moved from your eyes to your lips.
“How terrible.” You grinned and he kissed you. You’ve been in control so far, but you knew at this moment that he was taking over.
“I’m not sure how I got you to be interested in me, but I’ll take it.” He lifted your tank top a little and went down to kiss your stomach.
“You’re the only one who didn’t know I’ve had a crush on you for months.” Your body shivered under his touch.
“I may have noticed a few things—“ he took your top off of you and admired your breasts before touching them, kissing them, playing with your nipples. “But it seemed impossible.” He kept touching your tits as he got back up to kiss you. You buried your hands in his hair, and wrapped your legs around his waist.
“Why? Because you’re older?”
“For starters.” He kissed you one more time before getting on his knees. He slowly took off your panties while staring deep in your eyes.
“I don’t give a fuck about your age.” He looked at your panties, smelled them before throwing them away. You practically moaned at his actions.
“You should, babydoll.”
He settled between your legs, kissed your inner thigh, bit a little, and gently touched your pussy, looking at it so hungrily.
“Well if you don’t fuck me properly, I just might.” You teased, trying not to lose your mind over having him down there.
“As much as I want to, I’m not going to fuck you tonight, unless you got a condom hidden in your bag.”
“For fuck sakes!” You shouted.
“Sorry, doll. But I’m going to make you cum.”
And he finally dived in. He inhaled your scent deeply, before putting his month where you needed him the most. Alden knew what to do, when to do it. He ate you like a starving man. Making you moan loudly. You felt his index finger penetrating you, and another finger as his month kept playing with your clit. It didn’t take long before that amazing and familiar feeling appeared. One of your hands was in his hair, while he was holding the other with his free hand. Your legs around his neck could’ve suffocated him but you didn’t care and neither did he.
“I want to taste all of you, doll. Cum with my mouth.” He encouraged you. “I’ve got you.” He repeated your words. And you didn’t need more.
After cleaning you with the towel, Alden held you as you were catching your breath. Kissing your hair, he gently stroked your back. You both enjoyed this moment, this position, this tenderness. You didn’t know what tomorrow would be like, or even what this all meant.
Neither of you dared to ask.
#alden parker#alden parker fanfic#alden parker imagine#ncis#alden parker x reader#ncis fanfiction#ncis imagine#jessica knight#jimmy palmer#kasie hines#nick torres#tim mcgee#ncis x reader#ncis reader insert#ncis fandom
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I guess I’ll take this pain, instead of your name |
Part Twenty-Four - Part A
A/n: PLEASE READ!
The next two updates will come in parts A and B and are flashback chapters! SO there is nothing current happening, but they are really important to the story and have a lot of details which have been mentioned in earlier parts of the fic that weren't delved into. They're also incredibly long, this one alone is around 20k words, so just a warning! I love them though and hope you will too:)
Part B will be similar to A and will be out soon. Enjoy x
Summary: In life, things changed. The boys you'd once grown up with were men now, and famous ones at that. The type that toured the world and had millions of adoring fans.
The five of you shared a shit ton of history. But you also shared a lot of mixed emotions for one of them in particular, a certain drummer.
Warnings: Lots of swearing as per usual, talks and acts of violence, mentions of abuse and implications of sexual assault, alcohol and drug use.
Masterlist
I groaned for what felt like the umpteenth time, arms crossed over my chest as I slumped against the brick archway leading to the townhouse's front door. My school shirt was probably all creased now but I knew mum would have a right fit if I walked back home to change- we were already running late.
“Vicky!” I shouted out again, growing tired of waiting. “I swear, if Cook catches us at the gates I’m blaming you!”
I heard a loud bang sound from above me and glanced up to find that the bane of my existence had stuck her horn out of the upstairs window. “Would’ya shut up with your whining, the neighbours will have my head if you carry on- oh, and tell me where I left my essay for Herrins last night? I can’t find it anywhere!”
She was dressed, which was as much as a shock as it was a relief, but seemingly had yet to sort her hair out which could prove to be problematic. “Christ, Vic! It’s on your dresser, remember? You stuck it between the mirror and your jewellery box so that you’d be able to find it this mornin'.” I told her, the sentence followed shortly by a mumbled sigh, “What good it did though.”
“Oh shit, yeah!” Vicky gasped and I watched as she spun her head back round and caught sight of the scribbled essay- exactly where I said it’d be. “Cheers, babe. Just be a sec!”
Then she was gone again. I chuckled lowly to myself and shook my head. It was always the same with her, never knew when she was coming or going, but she was loyal to the very end. And pretty much the only proper mate I had.
Vicky Taylor was practically my other half. We’d met in year three and I’d truly hated her at first. Seeing how she’d replaced Emma Alden, who’d moved down to Wales that previous summer, in the seat beside mine.
She’d had this pretty pencil case too lined with glitter pens and a rainbow sharpener, I’d been so fucking jealous of it that I pretty much shrugged off any attempt she’d made at conversation. Up until Ernie Sutton came over at least, acting like the eight year old twat he was, emptying the contents of her pencil case all over the floor, only to then stomp all over it. I’d gone mental at him, taken the milk carton we’d all been handed and upturned it on his head. He’d stunk the whole day and Mrs Wilkins had been such a bitch about it, but Vicky, she’d just grinned a teary smile and nicked another carton from the trolley for me as a thanks.
We’d been as thick as thieves since.
“She still not down yet?”
Pulling myself out of my reminiscent thoughts, I glanced up right into the eyes of Jamie Taylor, Vicky’s older brother who was in the year above us. He was leant up against the door frame, shirt half-untucked and with a lopsided smile on his face. Jamie was fit to say the least, every girl at school thought so, me among them, but he was off limits. Or I liked to think of it that way, like I'd ever have a real chance with him. Jamie only ever looked at me as Vic’s best mate anyway, 'it's like having another annoying little sister' he’d once said.
I rolled my eyes and put up the front I was so used to faking around him- never would I ever let it slip that I was in any way interested in him, least I’d be shunned from the Taylor household for the rest of eternity. And that was the very last thing I wanted to happen.
“What do you think, smartarse? You’ve lived with her most of your life. When is she not running late?”
Jamie just chuckled, blue eyes squinting as the looked me over. “Still got five minutes before the bell goes.”
“It’s a ten minute walk, J.”
“Exactly, have to make a run for it then, wontcha?”
I couldn’t hide the slight quirk my mouth made upon hearing his reply, but merely shook my head in turn. “Can’t, be late either way. Wanna stop in by the bakery before, ain’t had breakfast yet.”
He pursed his lips then and I regretted having said anything at all when he spoke up again, “Your mum-”
“Yup.” I cut him off and pivoted to stare off down the road, acting unbothered as I continued to wait for his sister. Though I guess I should’ve been used to it by now. My mum was always putting everyone else above me. Who cared if there weren’t enough milk in the fridge for me? Who did it hurt when her newest fling would sit himself down in my dad’s armchair and read the morning paper whilst starkers? Just count your lucky stars you didn’t get slapped about by this one! At least not yet.
“Look, Y/n,”
Never had I ever been so thankful for Vicky, who thundered down the stairs before he could get another word out and barged past Jamie to make it through the doorway, essay in hand. She grinned at me, “Ready, babe?”
“For the last half hour, yeah.”
She rolled her eyes at me, amused, then linked her arm in mine as she pulled us both down the garden path. I only glanced back once I heard the front door slam behind us to find that Jamie was still wearing that frown expression and following.
Vicky, you had to know, was one person that could talk forever. And I meant forever. If the Olympics ever decided that they wanted to implement an event where the only talent you had to have was to be able to speak for hours on end, then Vic would be the very first person the English Team would call. It was honestly tough to keep up with her at times, so most times I was pretty content to just listen.
She ranted the whole way to the bakery off of Lloyds Street, not allowing Jamie nor I to get a word in, and proceeded to question Old Man Langford who owned the small shop the moment she spotted him. I ordered my usual from the girl stood at the til, who wasn’t much older than us really, and Jamie prattled off his to her too before I could pull out my purse, already holding a fiver out towards her.
“Jaim-”
But my voice was cut off by Jamie calling over to his sister to ask what she wanted. A bacon sarnie and an orange juice. He nodded to the cashier who took his money with a shy smile and handed him back his change.
“I could have got mine.” I mumbled to him the second the girl got to work on pulling the order together.
Jamie snorted, “Think the word you’re looking for there, love, is thanks.”
I fish mouthed. Love. He’d never called me that before. Not once. And the singular word rewired my entire brain.
Jamie continued on talking though, none the wiser to my slowly crumbling interior, up until the girl at the counter handed him a paper bag and a to go cup we hadn’t ordered.
“On me.” She told him, flashing him a flirty smile.
Jamie grinned and glanced back at me for a brief second. “Cheers.” He said and must’ve given her a wink or something in return because she flushed. I fought not to roll my eyes at the pair of them and picked the coffee cup out of Jamie’s hand before trailing my way over to Vicky and Mr Langford.
“Lovely to see you, Mr Langford! How’s Sheila?” I asked, smiling away even as I felt a pair of icy daggers burn into the side of my head. Old Man Langford smiled at me fondly and told me that his daughter was doing just fine, working hard in the city now, though she was due a visit, which made me chuckle before we wrapped our conversation up and all bid him our goodbyes.
“Oi, I think you’ll find that was meant for me.” Jamie commented as soon as our feet touched the pavement outside and the shop bell stopped rattling above us.
“Hm?” I questioned, feigning confusion whilst still sipping away at the warm drink. The girl might’ve been a terrible flirt but she could make a decent cuppa. “Not sure what you mean.”
Vicky snorted whilst we started the trek up the big hill which led to the school gates. “She’s always popping in something extra whenever he goes in there." She said, "Fancies the pants off him, mum claims.”
“Can you really blame her?” Jamie smirked just before he stole the cup back out of my hands, gleeful eyes finding mine when he took a large swig. “I mean, have you seen me?”
I narrowed my eyes and pinched at his hip, startling him enough to allow the cup to slip free from his hand without much of a fight.
“Oi!”
“Every man reckons they’re God’s gift to women. What’s so different about you then?” I quipped, loving the way Jamie’s gaze lingered on me as I took a sip from the cup we’d shared. He was walking backwards now, just in front of Vicky and I, head turning back every so often, school bag slung over his right shoulder as he fought to defend his honour.
“I’m the real deal, me! The whole package. What girl wouldn’t want me?”
I rolled my eyes but almost choked when Vicky laughed outright and gave him a snarky reply.
“Y/n, for one. So jump down off that high horse of yours, J, you’re no David Beckham.”
I giggled at the vengeful glare Vicky received in turn. If only she knew.
“Take that back!” Jamie spat with a pointed finger, though he was wearing a mirthful smile. He combed a hand across his hairless chin and gave us a pouty pose, “Beckham lookalike me. Just wait, I’ll be playing for United one day.”
“So you say.” Vicky laughed before turning towards me with a conspiratorial grin, “Dad says he’ll be lucky to work in the grocers after the results he got on his last exams.”
“Vicky!”
The girl merely cackled when her brother drove her back with a shove, “What! It’s true, ain’t it?”
Jamie merely huffed and rolled his eyes at the girl, not glancing my way as we continued to walk on. The gates weren’t too far, could see the spikes which sat atop them now.
“Swear, you boys are all so touchy.” Vicky murmured with a sly grin she couldn’t quite hide.
Jamie sneered at her, contradicting it by flicking her arm playfully. “Yeah, and you girls are all so annoying.”
“Oi.” I cut in, still happy to just sip my tea whilst they bickered but unable to let that slip. “I’m a delight, thanks.”
“So you are, Darlin’. So you are.” Jamie grinned at me and jumped around Vicky to lay a loud and sloppy kiss to my cheek.
“Jamie!” Vic shouted, slapping his bicep and shoving him away from me as soon as she got the chance. Jamie laughed loudly in response, shooting me a wink as he dove further from her swinging arms. “I’m so sorry, babe.” She added when she turned to me, then glanced back towards Jamie with a wrinkled nose, “God, you are such a prat!”
But I just waved her apology off, forcing the butterflies I’d felt flutter deep deep down as I took another long sip. Jamie waggled his brows at me whilst Vicky just huffed, then continued on with whatever she’d been saying, something to do with Mr Langford’s wife.
I watched him quietly and cocked a brow of my own, he was skirting around all sorts of lines here, ones I couldn’t quite decipher. He smirked and there was something more to it, something I couldn’t make out.
We made it through the gates soon enough and I was thankful for it- although we were nearing half an hour over first bell. Jamie nor Vic seemed to care though, the latter only just starting in on her sandwich.
“Who’s the new lad?” Vicky suddenly asked then, mouth half full, and I followed the direction of her gaze to find a lad wearing headphones slumped against the low brick wall outside the main office. “He’s sorta fit, don’t you think?” She commented, tilting her head as she took him in.
He was, sort of. But I could make out much of him, he was slouched in his position and had a horde of dark blonde curls hiding the top half of his face.
I hummed my confirmation, eyes watching him from over the top my cup. Jamie scoffed.
“He can barely even see what he looks like with all that hair, how can you two?”
My mouth tugged upwards on its own accord whilst Vicky snorted at her brother. “Says you, who spends the better part of an hour in front of the bathroom mirror each mornin’.”
“Ha.” Jamie replied with a forced smile.
I shrugged, interrupting the two. “Hair’s what makes him fit, J. Those curls are proper lovely.”
Vicky grinned around another mouthful of bread, “Ain’t they just? I wanna run my hands through it.”
“Bet he’d appreciate the bacon grease.” I teased her, but was inclined to agree.
“Oh, he’d love it!” Vicky retorted, rather loudly and with a laugh that made me chuckle too. Jamie just rolled his eyes at the pair of us as we all waltzed towards the English block.
“You two are dead blind.” He told us, fiddling with his own hair now.
“Ah, don’t worry, Taylor. You’re still number one in our hearts.” I appeased him with a mirthful grin, which made Vic cackle loud enough for anyone near to hear. Which unfortunately included Mr Cook.
“You three! Late again, I see!” The deputy head barked as he came storming out the main building towards us, “My classroom this lunchtime. Be there or it’s a suspension- that means no footie, Jamie Taylor.”
Jamie’s jaw ticked but he nodded, “Sorry, sir.”
“Good lad, now get to class.” Mr Cook demanded, hands on his hips as he attempted to corral us through the school's doors. As he did though, my eyes found an unfamiliar pair observing us from not too far away. I smirked at him when he realised he’d been caught and waved before ducking behind the heavy entrance doors.
—
It was the last place I wanted to be. But here I was, making my way over to the library where Mrs Trench, my maths teacher, told me I could find the tutor she’d since assigned me.
It wasn’t as though I was thick or nowt. I wasn't. Just maths made my head hurt sometimes. Enough to have made my marks drop by an unreasonable amount.
I was alright with the numbers bit, the multiplying and the dividing I could do quicker than most off the top of my head. But then they just had to go and add letters. And that had fucked me right up, hadn’t it.
I huffed to myself at the very thought of it as I trudged my way through the empty halls. School had already let out and I was still stuck here whilst Vicky and the rest of the girls were set to head off into town later on- there was a new record shop that’d just opened up and everyone was buzzing to see if it was worth the wait.
The library doors creaked like they always did when I pushed through them, as old as everything else in this forsaken place, and the librarian glanced up at me through her oval glasses when I walked by the counter. We shared our usual nod, having started somewhat of a routine by now. She was an alright woman, let me camp out in the classics section when I was skiving off Pe and didn’t bitch when sung quietly to myself. So, better than alright, I supposed.
But this school was a wasteland, most days you actually had to goad the teachers into teaching you properly. Although some were worse than others, but a lot of them just wanted their pay check at the end of each month.
Mrs Turner, my maths teacher, wasn’t amongst them though, she was all about the marks, having the best test scores. In truth, she just wanted a raise, had been trying for one ever since I’d joined. That was the only reason why she’d set this whole thing up.
I knew who I was looking for when I walked in. He was a lad in Jamie’s year, so only a year older than me, but his face was well known seeing as the boys he hung about with tended to stir quite a bit of trouble when they pleased. Jamie had also mentioned his name once or twice in passing, they were mates, but not overly friendly. J tended to stick close to the other lads on the football team. So I knew who he was when Mrs Trench had given me his name on a piece of parchment.
I caught him sat in one of the far tables in the very back, head buried in a book ‘reading’ but his foot was a dead giveaway to the fact that he had no clue what he was even looking at, tapping away to some sound or other. I spotted the wire to his mp3 as I approached and smirked down at him.
“Oi.” I startled him, using a deep voice to mimic that of Deputy Cook’s. The lad jumped out of his seat as his head snapped up towards me, almost dropping his mp3 in the process. I grinned at the reaction, withholding a chuckle as I looked him over, “Sorry, couldn’t help myself when I saw you. I’m Y/n, Mrs Trench said she spoke to you about helping me out in maths?”
The boy just laughed, looking a lot less tense now that the threat of Mr Cook had rapidly disappeared. He didn’t seem all that annoyed by the childish trick as he looked up at me either. “She did. I’m Adam, by the way. But most people just call me Hann.”
“Yeah? Why’s that then?” I asked him as I took the chair opposite and grabbed my textbook form my bag.
“Dunno. Just always been that way I suppose. Helps that it’s my last name too.” Adam told me with an easygoing smile.
I chuckled, “Seems so. What do you want me to call you then?”
“Either, I don’t mind.” He retorted with a small shrug, wrapping his mp3 up and tucking it back into his blazer pocket. “You’re Jamie’s mate, ain’t you?”
Jamie’s mate… I didn’t know about that. Jamie tolerated my presence I guessed, when I was hanging about with Vicky or staying round his. Though we had spoken here and there without her around. Mainly just teasing when we’d pass each other by in the halls, or stopping to talk when our lunchtime tables intertwined.
“‘Spose.” I answered him, “So you any good with maths then, or is it all talk?”
Adam didn’t seem to mind my answer, nor the swift change of subject, merely laughed lightly and got to talking about the topic. We started off on the easier tasks of the lot, which I made progress on pretty quickly, then we tried our luck at the different theorems there were. I quite enjoyed his company honestly, he was witty and funny in a way that most lads weren’t. He could joke about and then be serious without it being so black and white.
By the time we’d spent a couple of our Wednesday afternoons together, he invited me out ‘round to this small party one of his mates was throwing. Said I could bring a friend if I wanted. And so I’d gone, only because Adam had hastily become a new friend. He hadn’t shied away when we saw one another around school, approached me in the fields when he’d spotted me to tell me about this new record he’d found and reckoned I’d like, and even walked home with me some days after last lesson had ended when our other mates were busy or had detention.
The small party really had been just that. A nice little gathering of about fifteen or so people just mulling about in the garden of some big fuck-off house Adam’s mate supposedly lived in. I’d brought Vicky along with me, but lost her the second she’d spotted a mutual friend, although I was ultimately saved by Adam who gifted me a massive smile when he saw me. He greeted me happily with a beer in hand and took me off to get a drink of my own whilst we chatted away about this new album that’d just been released.
It was that night that most things changed for me, because it was that night that I properly met Adam’s friends, or his ‘bandmates’ as he called them. Ross and Elliott were already halfway to drunk when we were first introduced but Ross tugged me under his arm once Adam had given him my name, claiming that he’d been looking for a new best mate, seeing as his old one had been driving him mad. And I’d just gone along with it, perfectly content in his playful company.
Elliott had been alright too, he’d spoken with us for a bit before some girl had caught his eye and the pair of them had wandered off to some place dark. Adam’s good friend Matty though was the one that really caught my attention, because how could he not? He’d come bounding over to us, all dark curls and this massive shit-eating grin on his face, he’d had a cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth and, without a care in the world, had plopped himself straight down in my lap.
Matty was loud, eccentric, but oh so lovely. Even though he could be a bit of a pretentious twat at times, too stubborn for his own good really, I still found I rather enjoyed his presence. It was miles different to what I was used to.
He seemed to like me alright too, or so I believed, but only because of the way he'd gone off on Sam McKinnon when the lad had wandered past us, the spat had made me realise rather quickly that you’d definitely know if Matty didn’t like you.
We’d spent the rest of the evening laughing and passing drinks around. I got to know the lot of them rather well, and so, when I claimed that that had been the night that things changed for me, I wasn’t lying. Because afterwards, the four lads seemed to take me under their wing, even when I passed my maths exam and Adam no longer had to tutor me.
Vicky didn’t seem to mind it much either, me wandering off with them, seeing as she’d just started dating Tony Watts, who was far too into himself for my taste though he drove his own car. And the boys, although a year older, became a bit of a lifeline for me. I bonded with them in ways I hadn’t with Vic. It was just so different with them and we’d all clicked so instantly that it was hard to even verbalise.
It was actually a couple months after I’d finally gotten settled into my new found arrangement of friends that it had all begun to shift again. Elliott, it seemed, had other priorities, he’d formed a band of his own long before the other boys had even thought of trying out one of their own, and had gotten busy with it- as well as his longtime girlfriend. So once the guys had realised that they were now a lead singer down, Matty had stepped up and away from the drum kit to take over. A smart move if I do admit, Matthew Healy was not meant to be boxed behind a rowdy instrument, and seeing him up front and centre only proved that. He preformed up there.
So what with Matty being frontman, that meant that the drums now had no owner. Matty had tried to make it work for a short while, but it just didn’t sound the same, too much going on for it all to fall correctly in time. And so the lads decided to ask about, look for someone who might fit in alright with the rest of them.
It was me that found that person though. Which was surprising, seeing as though most would believe that I’d be the last person you’d expect to do so.
It had happened on a Tuesday morning actually, it’d been pissing it down outside but the guys had all wanted to head on out to smoke a fag behind the shed before next lesson. I’d passed, preferring to stay dry rather than get a quick fix. So I’d just dropped them off by the back doors before wandering back the way I’d came, down by the music block.
I’d paused the second I’d heard it, the rapid hit of a drum. I’d gotten far too used to instruments since hanging about during the guys’ band practices to not know something good when I heard it. And this, this was unlike anything I’d heard the boys play before.
I stood there, outside the door to music room 3, for a short while, just listening. Before the sound had slowly dwindled out, forcing me to push my way through the room’s only entrance and exit.
The music rooms were typically quite small, most people used them on days like today to mess about in, or hide from the hordes of people acting like dickheads. Music room 3 was where the school’s only drum kit was housed though.
As I forced my way inside, I halted at the unexpected sight that greeted me.
“Um.” The room’s only occupant mumbled in surprise.
“You’re the new boy.” I immediately stated, staring down at the curly haired lad I’d seen earlier in the year that one morning I’d been late.
“Um.” The boy said again, causing me to frown.
The door closed swiftly behind me as I stepped further inside, his eyes darted towards it, “That all you say then?”
He looked back at me, narrowed gaze stuck on me now, and as he tilted his head I took note of the drumsticks he held in his hands. “No.”
“Oh so just the two then?” I teased and was relieved when he cracked a small smile. “You’re sick by the way,” I complimented, “Hope you don’t mind but I was listening outside for a while.”
Shock seemed to colour his expression as he glanced between me and the door.
“I heard you, just as I was walking past.” I explained, fingers reaching out to fiddle with the cymbal’s metal edge. “You’re good. Really good.”
“Thanks.” He murmured, still looking unsure about my entire presence.
I grinned in turn, “Where d’you learn to play?”
“Seattle.” He said.
My brows lifted in surprise, “Like America?”
He hummed his ascent.
“Wow. What’s it like over there?”
I’d never been, but Matty had. He’d said it was brilliant. Wanted to live out there one day, buy a big house with enough rooms for us all.
The lad shrugged. “Different. Louder, I guess.”
Not much of a talker. Or maybe just, shy?
“Cool. Um so, I actually might have a reason for barging in here…” I admitted, looking up at him from under my lashes.
He quirked an eyebrow in retort, but otherwise remained silent.
This music business was already proving to be difficult.
…
I’d invited the lad round to Matty’s that same afternoon, knowing that they’d already arranged a practice session there.
I’d simply just torn a bottom corner from a page in my sketchbook and written down the address, told him to meet me there at five if he felt like playing something proper.
I hadn’t even caught his name honestly, let alone gotten an actual answer as whether or not he’d come. But I was hopeful. This band meant everything to the guys, they worked so hard and got so much out of it, and if this kid could really play the drums they way I thought he could and was down to join then it would definitely set them apart from the rest.
I was sat on one of the beanbags Matty had set up in the garage when the boys slowly trailed in after me one by one, Hann tinkering with his guitar strap, Matty with a drink in hand, Ross wolfing down the last of Denise’s shepards pie.
Matty approached me first, throwing himself down onto the large cushion beside me, kicking his legs up over my knees. “What’s the matter with you?”
“Hm?”
“I asked what the matter with you was.” Matty repeated, nudging my shin with the toe of his trainer as he drawled his sentence, making out like I was slow. I scowled and flicked his calf.
“Sod off, would you?”
“Ooh, touchy today, aren’t we?” Matty snickered, paying no mind to my ever narrowing eyes whilst he sipped away on his can, “You on your period or summat?”
“I swear to all heavens, Healy. Just ‘cause a girl won’t give you the time of day, doesn’t mean she’s on her period!” I huffed with a roll of my eyes. Fucking boys, I swear.
“Nine times out of ten it does though.”
He cackled when I thumped his thigh, all too happy to have gotten a rise out of me. But that was just Matty, and the way we often worked.
Since meeting the guys, I’d bonded with them all in different ways. Adam was the one I'd tend to drift towards for conversation, to chill and just be seen- if I ever needed a problem solving then he was my man, always there to help.
My feelings towards Ross resembled that of a little sister's, we bickered like nothing else but laughed louder than most whenever we were together. If anything were to happen to me I knew he’d be the first person at my back, defending me to the very end.
Matty and I though, we just connected on a whole other level. I was the Bonnie to his Clyde. Constantly in and out of each others pockets, and forever causing mayhem. He’d quickly become my best friend- though I’d never admit it to him. We shared a similar likeness that most didn’t typically get. I could tell him absolutely anything and knew he wouldn’t judge me, and he’d always be there to pick me back up whenever life kicked me down.
We were almost always together, even with the year difference in school, enough that most believed that we actually had something going on. But we didn’t. Never had. And although our dynamic was different to that of Ross and I, I was quite sure that it would stay that way. Matty was a ladies man through and through, a player of sorts- though he made it well known to anyone who asked. He had too much energy to be confined to just one person, one relationship. Me on the other hand, well, I’d never gotten very far with anyone really. But I knew that I’d want something more than just a quick shag here and there, or a secret affair shared with a handful of others. I wanted dates and flowers, late night talking and someone to simply sweep me off my feet. I think deep down Matty understood that too. It’s why we worked.
“Come on then.” Matty prodded my side, relaxing effortlessly in the beanbag beside mine. “You gonna tell me what’s got you so worked up then or what?”
“’S nothing, Matt.”
“Don’t give me that.” He retorted, rolling his eyes at me before he started routing around in his jean pocket for something or other. “Got a joint on me if you want it. Might mellow you out, babe.”
I inhaled slowly, I knew that I’d been on edge the whole walk back to Matty’s, but had tried to hide it as best as I could, especially when I saw that Denise was home. But it’d been a struggle. The guys were counting on someone to pull through for them and I wanted so badly to help. It’s why I had yet to tell any of them about my earlier encounter, fearful that if I let it slip and the lad was a no-show that I’d be to blame.
I was used to burdening the blame. But never with these guys.
I blinked back to the present just as a prerolled joint dangled above my nose, I snatched it up quick and settled back into the seat before Matty could rescind the offer.
I knew better than to ask Matty for a light though, he was forever losing the daft things. Besides, I’d taken to carrying round one of my own for a couple years now. It’d been my dad’s.
I pulled the old metal lighter out from my back pocket and flicked it open. It was one of those hefty ones, sterling silver and with a hinged lid. This particular one had a slight dent in the side that my dad had always claimed protected his own father from taking a bullet to the hip. My grandad was from way down south, the east end mainly, and had apparently been involved in all sorts. He’d gotten himself locked up four months before my dad was actually born though, and had only really met him once he’d turned fourteen.
They were both gone now. Six feet below and buried in soil. Though my nana was still kicking about, only she lived in London so I didn’t get to see her all that often. Only whenever mum grew sick of me, I supposed.
I lit the joint with a practiced ease and let myself relax as I drew in a lungful.
“Oi, sharing’s caring and all that.” Ross said from across the room, mouth still full of minced beef.
I snorted in amusement, “Yeah when you’ve finished eating, maybe then we’ll talk.”
“Rude.” He grumbled and when I laughed, Matty took the opportunity to take a drag himself.
“Thought you said I could have it?”
“Sharing’s caring.” Matty mimicked Ross and I rolled my eyes, unable to hide my small smile.
It was in that next moment that my life really did change though, because it was that moment that things truly started to shift for me.
A knock sounded from over by the garage door and in a simultaneous motion we all seemed to glance our heads towards it, honestly expecting to see Louis grinning cheekily and wanting to get involved in our antics like he usually did. Everyone was surprised by the unfamiliar visitor that stood there though.
I coughed up the hit I’d just taken, honestly having anticipated the lad to have stood me up. He’d been far too quiet when we’d first spoken that I’d figured he’d bail out before the boys could give even him the time of day. But he’d really surprised me. I couldn’t help but grin at him once my coughing fit had died down.
“You came!”
“Figured I’d see what’d happen.” The lad shrugged in reply, sharp eyes on me before they surveyed the rest of the room, roaming over the guys’ faces.
I jumped up out of the beanbag, throwing Matty’s feet off my lap to go and properly greet him. A little proud feeling swelling in my chest. If this worked out then the boys would forever be in debt to me.
Hann was quick to snap out of his shock too and he put down his guitar to join me, jerking his head in greeting.
“Alright, mate. I’m Hann.”
“George.” The lad replied, nodding a hello of his own.
“Shit! I didn’t even ask your name.” I winced, giving the boy a sheepish smile. One that had his own mouth twitching ever so slightly. “I’m Y/n.”
“I know.”
I blinked, unsure on how to reply to that. But thankfully Ross had bounded on over to meet the newcomer. “Ross.” He grinned, holding out a hand like a weirdo. George hit it though, and the two of them shared an odd ‘bro-ish?’ sort of handshake that I’d never come to understand. Did all men just have a universal greeting installed in their heads the day that they were born?
“George.” The lad repeated and I really took in his name that second time around. It suited him. Bit long, but it would do.
“And that twat in the corner is Matty, our main singer.” Ross went on to say, gesturing over to where Matty was still sat sprawled on the beanbag. I rolled my eyes at him but was mostly just thankful that Ross had put down his third helping of dinner to come and say hello.
“Oh, so that’s what this is then?” George questioned as he glanced over at me, not even phased by Matty’s dickish tendencies and having been flat out ignored by the twat.
I gave him another impish grin before turning to face the room, wanting all the boys’ attention on me now. “Well, you see, George plays the drums, yeah?” I revealed slowly, hoping they’d quickly catch on, “Like, plays them really really well.”
George’s cheeks were a little pink when I peered round at him, but he didn’t seem all that embarrassed by my compliment or the ambush of questions that immediately followed my little introduction.
And in the next instant, Ross was beckoning George on over to where the drum kit resided in the corner. George’s eyes roamed across the bloody thing like most boys did cars, or girls… And I smirked to myself as I wandered back over to my usual seat, my focus on the way Ross and Hann were still talking to the lad, Adam handing him a pair of sticks.
I was excited to say the least as I watched George settle into his chair, testing the kit lightly, not giving much away.
“Fuck d'ya find ‘im?” Came Matty’s mumbled snort from beside me and I shot him a puzzled look, having heard the deride in his tone. “Looks about nine.”
“Matty.” I scolded lowly, not wanting George to overhear and have him feel unwelcome.
“What? He’s a bit odd ain’t he?” He retorted through a soft cloud of smoke, I snatched the joint back off him. “All tall and gangly. That accent too.” He wrinkled his nose in a grimace.
“Shut up, would you?” I huffed, not wanting to deal with whatever the fuck he was feeling then.
Sure, George was taller than most. Similar height to that of Ross though, really. And he wasn’t all that gangly- who the hell even said gangly, anyway? He was more lean than lanky, his shoulders broad and his face well sculpted. He might’ve been a tad bit odd, what with his syllabic answers and mostly emotionless front. Or at least I hoped it was a front, something which I could sort of relate to.
“He’s probably just nervous.” I said to Matty, taking a drag as I watched Hann explain something or other to him. “I didn’t tell him about the band or nowt, just said to pop by. He’s proper good though, Matt.”
“Yeah?” I heard Matty say, “How’d you even know?”
“Heard him.” I replied and glanced over my shoulder to give him an amused look, “How the fuck else would I know?”
“Don’t be a prick.” Matty huffed at me, nabbing back what little remained of the joint. I shrugged. “You know what I meant.”
I did, but he was being difficult for no reason. “Music room, earlier today.”
I didn’t get the chance to hear Matty’s response to that because George begun to play and everyone’s focus fell on him, observing the way he so effortlessly played, listening to the rhythm that just flowed out of his palms.
I smiled broadly, feeling a little too smug when Hann and Ross beamed at the kid, whooping and hollering as George banged out another tune.
“Fuckin’ hell! You hearin’ this, Healy? Could give you a run for your money!” Ross bellowed, cracking up when Matty flipped him off. I chuckled to myself too and Hann asked George to play something they might know.
“Um,” George thought the request over, then nodded just the once before he started with a few taps to the bass drum pedal which led into the intro to one of the most brilliant Van Halen songs.
Ross’s eyes lit up when he recognised it and he hastily made his way over to his bass, Hann followed, mesmerised by the effortless ease George used, and the two of them soon started to chime in, following George’s lead. I grinned, mumbling the words for Hot for teacher quietly to myself whilst my foot tapped away. They were brilliant, I could only imagine what they’d sound like with Matty up there with them.
I was smiling like a mad man by the time they all sort of fell out of it, laughing whilst I applauded them loudly. “Whoo! Didn’t I say he was good? I did, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, you did. Now quiet down, can already see your head getting bigger from way over here.” Ross mocked me with a teasing smile, I stuck two fingers up at him in retort and made to stand.
“He is good though.” Adam acknowledged, gifting George a wry smile. “You always play like that?” He asked and the lad shrugged.
“Depends, don’t always have an audience.”
I snorted softly but my attention dithered when Matty got up behind me and abruptly left the garage through the side door without another word. I frowned after him, so bewildered, then turned back towards the others.
Ross was shaking his head, fiddling with the nobs on his bass, whilst Adam forced a smile. Both of them used to it.
“Don’t mind him, mate. He’s a right diva, hates not being centre of attention.” Hann joked, ebbing some of the tension Matty’s departure had created like only he could.
I swallowed and stepped closer to the rest of them, “Hann’s right. He’ll come ‘round- that’s if he can stay?” I glanced between both Ross and Adam then, shoulders pulled up towards my ears.
Hann’s mouth twitched into a lopsided smile but Ross was the one to give me a valid answer, or rather George.
“When can you start?”
—
The thing about boys was, they were ten times more confusing than girls.
With girls, you sort of knew where you stood. If a girl didn’t like you, you’d know about it. But boys, they were just so difficult. And patronisingly so.
I was only saying all this because it’d been a couple of weeks since George had actually agreed to join the band as their drummer. Something that Matty had huffed and puffed but said no more about. Neither one of them had tried to get to know the other. George was perfectly content to keep to himself when Ross and Hann’s attention was being occupied by Matty. And Matty was bitchy enough to leave the room midway through any conversation he grew bored with- which was typically whenever George spoke up.
So it was safe to say that boys were infuriatingly stubborn, and these two in particular were driving me up the wall.
I hadn’t spoken much to George, only really got a couple of words out of him whenever I tagged along to practice, and then it was just a nod or a simple greeting when we passed by one another in school. Though he was in my year and, after that first session with the guys, I found that he kept popping up in a lot of the classes I’d failed to notice him in before.
Matty complained about George whenever he was bored, or when one of the boys brought up inviting him along to a party or out to the skatepark with them. I didn’t know what the fuck he had against the younger lad- had fought tooth and nail to get the answer out of him as subtly as I could- but he just wouldn’t budge. And me, being the best mate I was, felt a little weird about being friendly with George, even if it was only to make the band’s life easier. It was as though the loyalty I had for Matty interfered with me playing nice with the guy.
It was hard. And I was quickly growing tired of it.
Especially when I couldn’t help but admire George a small bit for the uncaring role he played in it all, he truly didn’t care that Matty was ‘Matty’, popular and loved by practically everyone. Matty, who always had a flock of girls fawning after him, lads wanting to be him, and teachers letting him off scot-free because they thought him to be a harmless joker. In George’s eyes Matty had it so easy and that’s why he got to act out the way he did.
It all came to a head one band practice though.
“Matty.” Ross sighed from over the neck of his guitar, beyond fed up now with his mate’s antics.
It was almost eight and we’d all been here since four trying to rehearse for this little gig at the local pub. Hann had scored the thing, gotten his mate behind the bar to have a word with the owner. The bloke had said that they could play but they’d only get paid for it in drinks. Which had been a win-win for the guys.
Matty however was currently in one of his moods. The type he often got whenever his mum and dad had been arguing, the kind where he just wanted to piss about and forget he had responsibilities. It was something I could understand. One of the main reasons we’d bonded so quickly. Trauma calls to trauma- is that how the saying went?
Anyway, he was currently faffing about on the phone outside the garage to whichever girl he had on the go at the moment. He was laughing loudly, talking loudly, but drinking heavily. For a Thursday night at least.
I sighed, picking at a loose thread on my shorts. I wanted to shake him, have him understand and see what everyone else was feeling. But Matty could be selfish when he wanted to be, especially when he was bricking up those walls of his higher than ever. It was in those moments, even I struggled to get through to him.
Typically we’d all call it a night and try again another time, but this gig was tomorrow. And the guys still hadn’t gotten halfway through their planned setlist.
I say setlist, but it was five songs. One of which was the only original, the rest covers.
“Matt.” I called out tiredly. Matty merely flapped a hand at me. A universal sign for ‘just gimme a sec’.
Hann looked just about ready to scream, slumped against an amp, guitar forgotten beside him. And Ross was in a similar mindset, hands fisted by his sides to keep himself from wringing Matty’s neck.
I glanced over to where George was quietly tapping away on his drum kit, nodding his head along to whatever beat he had going on in his head.
The more George had started to hang about, the more I'd started to deduce him.
At first, I thought he might’ve just been shy because of how little he’d spoken. But he fucking wasn’t, that much was easy to see when you knew where (or rather when) to look. The lads had commented on it at first, just poking fun and teasing, but I’d kept my opinion to myself- not sure why, just had, simpler that way, I figured. George wasn’t shy, no, but he was quiet. He preferred thinking, observing, over being the main focus. Much more aware of the things that went on than what he made it out like.
I blinked, breath hitching when I realised he’d caught me staring. Brown eyes now locked on mine. They were intense, squinted slightly beneath a band of dark lashes. He quirked a brow and I skirted my gaze away briefly, before I got over myself, as well as the strange feeling I felt, and moved across the room to join him.
He’d stopped tapping away when he’d glanced over at me, but he kept his sticks in his hands even as I rounded the kit, fingertips trailing across a cymbal.
“So, how you liking school?”
I wasn’t sure why I asked that. But it felt like a safe place to start. To be honest, I wasn’t sure why I was starting up a conversation at all. I just felt the need to.
“It’s school.” George replied and I chuckled at that, eyes flicking between the drum kit and his slumped form, his eyes followed my movements.
“I mean, you’re new right? So, was just wondering how it felt.” I shrugged, feeling a tad bit stupid but not letting it show.
George shrugged a single shoulder. “It’s alright, not the first time I’ve moved though.”
My eyebrows rose at that. “Oh yeah?”
He hummed, drumstick tapping against the inside of his wrist. “Yeah.”
I cracked a small smile, he wasn’t much of a talker. Or at least not with me.
“What made you join the band then?” I attempted, figuring I’d try my hand at a new subject. Gaze lingering on the rhythmic tic his hand made.
“You lot are nice enough. It gets me out the house.” He told me.
I dipped my head, I’d felt similarly at first. “I’ll take that.”
“Who says I was talking about you?” George quipped back all too quickly, one corner of his mouth deepening as he fought a smile.
I narrowed my eyes at him. Baby drummer’s got jokes, it seemed. Definitely not shy then, maybe just out of his comfort zone..?
“You better be.” I told him in all seriousness.
He chuckled softly and I practically beamed, proud that I’d been the one to cause it.
“Oi, are we fuckin’ practicing or you two just gonna stand about flirtin’ all night?”
My head snapped up at the sound of Matty’s vengeful voice and I felt a sudden anger radiate in me. In all the time I’d known Matty, never had he ever truly angered me- annoyed me, sure, pissed me off, of course! But angered me? No. He’d just tried to embarrass me now though, all but used me as a worthless pawn in this stupid grudge he held against George. Like it hadn’t just been him wasting everybody’s time.
Where the fuck did he get off on judging my actions, anyway? When all we’d been doing was talking, and when I’d all but ignored George for as long as he’d been hanging around.
“Are you serious?” I questioned him, hand falling away from the cymbal I’d been tinkering with and down to my side as I stared blankly back at him. He was off the phone now, but the thing was still dangling against his leg, a new can of cider taking up his other hand.
“Yeah. We’re all waiting.” Matty said with a snarky smile, extending his arms out either side of him. “So, you two done then or..?”
Hann looked vaguely uncomfortable, whilst Ross went to say something.
Only George beat him to it.
“Fuck off.” The blond scoffed at him, startling not just Matty, who his words had been aimed at, but all of us.
“Oh, so he speaks!” Matty mocked openly when he finally got over the shock of the unexpected reply, laughing at George now. “Aren’t you a bit too young to be swearing’ though, kid?”
“Aren’t you a bit too privileged to be acting like a whiney prick?” George shot straight back, deep voice staying at the same level it was always in.
Ross choked on a laugh and Hann’s mouth dropped open. My eyes widened on their own accord and darted between both Matty and George, who seemed to be in an uncomfortable standoff.
“You wanna say that a-fuckin’-gain?” Matty snapped back at him, anger fuelling his tone now. “You don’t know nothin' about me. So where the fuck d’you get off on callin’ me that?”
George’s mouth pulled up into a smirk and I was stunned. Unaware that he could even smile properly.
“Hit a nerve? You’re an entitled prick, mate.” George told him with a careless shrug, “You waste all of our time acting like an arse, then come back in here and try embarrass us for talking. Ain’t she meant to be your mate?”
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard him say so many words.” I heard Ross mutter, but was too enthralled in the matter at hand to find any amusement in it, though Hann on the other hand did.
Matty grit his teeth, spitting a bit. “I’d be careful, yeah? ’Cause remember, you’re in my house. My fuckin’ band, alright?”
George snorted in reply, as though he could care less. Finding Matty amusing, which only proved to agitate him further. “Could be sat at the bottom of the ocean for all I care, mate, and you’d still be a massive fucking twat.”
Hann must’ve sensed it coming because he jumped up and grabbed Matty by the shoulders before he could make a lunge at George. He lugged the idiot out of the room before he could do anything else- which wasn’t hard in his less than sober state- all of us just watching on as Matty snarled every name under the sun at George.
The door closed behind them with a resounding slam that had me jumping slightly in my skin.
A silence settled afterwards, eery and cold. The kind that made you realise all the heat had been bled from the room.
I turned away from the stare Ross seemed unable to help and tugged a hand through my hair, hoping that the gesture would give me a second to calm the pounding of my heart, the wetness in my eyes.
I was shaken.
Which was the last thing I ever expected to feel when I was with the boys. This garage was my safe place, they were my safe place. And I suddenly felt so stupid for letting myself get so caught up in it all.
I coughed lightly to cover up the sniff I couldn’t help but make and turned back to face the two remaining lads with a very forced smile.
“Guess that’s practice over then.” I chuckled lowly, moving away from George to start packing things away.
“Guess so.” Ross added awkwardly, scratching what little there was to the beard he’d been trying to grow.
I saw George shake his head out of the corner of my eye, but he didn’t say anything so the three of us just started silently moving things about. Ross put the combos and guitars back in the corner, before he made a start on wrapping up wires. George picked up the rubbish that’d been tossed about the room, then worked on moving the larger amps to one side.
I grabbed the expensive mic Matty had discarded on the floor and put it back in its case, before I wandered over to dismantle the mic stand. It was easy enough but often grew tricky by the third bar where it was always tighter. I tried tugging it a few times before I huffed to myself, it was then that George came over to squat down beside me and help out.
“Thanks.” I murmured once he’d released the two bars from one another, handing them over wordlessly.
“No worries.” He mentioned, and I focused hard on not glancing his way again as I continued to place the parts of the stand in another styrofoam case. He cleared his throat lightly, still there, and I chewed the inside of my cheek, expecting him to speak again. He did. “I’m sorry if I made things worse. I know you and him are close, but… I dunno, he just rilled me up.”
I had to look at George then, surprised by his maturity. Not many people apologised for their part in things, especially when they hadn’t really been at fault. It was new to me.
“You’re fine. He just gets like that sometimes. Don’t worry about it, yeah?”
I stood then and moved across the room to put the cases in the locker Matty liked to keep them in, not giving George the chance to reply. All I wanted now was my bed. But that meant going home, and that upped the chances of me running into my mum and her new boyfriend.
Hann came back a few short minutes after, looking like a piano had been dropped on his head. He sighed defeatedly, rubbing a hand over his face as he closed the door behind him.
“What happened?” Ross asked, blue cable wound up in his right hand.
Adam levelled him with a look. “His mum, they got into an argument, woke Louis. He ended up leaving.”
I withheld a sigh. For fucks sake, Matty.
“Sorry about that, mate.” Hann added, looking to George now. The boy waved him off but Adam chewed on his lower lip for a second, then glanced between the three of us. “You lot ready to head off then?”
We all gave an assorted sound of approval, finishing up with whatever tasks we’d started before we moved to grab our bags. The four of us headed out of the garage in silence and I felt a bit bad not saying goodbye to Denise like I typically did, but knew she probably had worser things to worry about than me. So the garage door slid shut behind us on its automatic hinge and we all set off down the drive.
When we reached the bottom, Ross stopped me short with a gentle hand to my elbow.
“You gonna be alright?” He asked, and I knew why but feigned I was fine.
“‘Course.”
He left it at that.
We all walked to the bottom of Matty’s street and it got to the point in the road where we usually went our separate ways.
“Skive off tomorrow so we can practice?” Hann suggested as we came to a slow halt and Ross and George both nodded, before the three of them turned to me. I blinked, surprised by the offer.
“Um, yeah. Okay.”
“Good.” Ross grinned, nudging my arm with his own. “‘Cause we need our manager there to keep us sane.”
I huffed out an airy chuckle and rolled my eyes at him. “See you tomorrow, MacDonald.”
Ross gifted me quirked grin and Adam tugged me into a short hug before they then said their goodbyes to George. My brow pinched at that and was suddenly filled with sudden apprehension when I realised that George was in fact headed my way too.
In all the weeks he’d been at practice, I typically spent a little while longer hanging about Matty’s whilst the rest of them headed home. So this was the first time I realised that I’d be walking back with George.
“Tomorrow, ten am, yeah?” Hann reminded and we all nodded, the question of whether Matty would make an appearance went unsaid.
Ross and Hann begun to pull away and I found myself turning away too, taking a step back and inhaling when George followed.
We both walked quietly for a minute or two, just taking in the late evening air. I hiked my bag higher up my shoulder and was both relieved and full of anxiety when he finally spoke up.
“I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, but if you do, well I don’t mind listening.”
My brows rose in honest surprise. Quiet George was willing to break the silence he so often favoured for little old me?
I wanted to brush his attempt off, make out like I was fine and crack a joke to ebb the tension. But I couldn’t, because I was full of too many emotions that I couldn’t make out which ones were real and which ones were fake.
I tugged on my lower lip before I licked at the flesh there, eyes on the steps I took, shoes trailing over cracks in the cobblestones.
“He’s never been like that before. Least not with me.” I had to state, wanting to stick up for Matty even though he’d been an utter prat. “Just surprised me ’s all.”
“Still gave him no right.” George replied and I wanted to bite back at him, release that anger his comment stirred in me, but he was right.
I ticked my jaw from side to side, then shrugged. “He’s going through a lot.”
“Aren’t we all?”
I peered over towards him then, that rhetorical question sounded more like an admission. I didn’t comment on it though. I had no right.
“Yeah.” I said quietly instead.
We walked a little further and I found myself glancing up at him from time to time. He was almost a head taller than me, and had a strong nose that was softened by the freckles on his cheeks and the droop of his eyes.
“You excited for tomorrow night?” I asked him, my voice and the hum of the old railway were the only things to make any noise.
George gazed down at me, “‘Spose.”
I couldn’t help my soft laughter. “You suppose?”
“Yeah.” He shrugged, smirking faintly now, “Might’ve felt differently if we’d managed to finish working on the set.”
“Fair.” I chuckled.
“What about you?”
I don’t know why but I was surprised he’d reiterated the question back to me. Maybe it was because I’d figured we’d just slump along in awkward silence. But I didn’t feel any awkwardness at all.
“I’m looking forward to it. You guys are incredible.” I told him honestly, “A little apprehensive, but I know you’ll pull it off whatever happens.”
George hummed. “Hold you to it.”
I laughed again, only to realise we’d made it to the end of my street. “I’m up there.” I told him, pointing towards a dark house further up.
He jerked his head in a nod, looking away from the row of homes to gesture towards the street over. “I’m that way.”
It was my turn to hum now, rocking back slightly on my feet. “So I’ll see you tomorrow then…”
With a dip of his chin and his hands in his pockets, George just nodded as we parted ways.
And I did see him that next day. Only it wasn’t in Matty’s garage, because he was stood waiting for me at the end of my street.
…
It was that first gig together that sent a solidifying ripple through Matty and George’s tentative relationship.
We’d all met up that Friday morning, as planned, George and I having walked into Matty’s garage on the defence, but it’d seemed that the curly haired lad was singing a whole other tune. Matty had appeared truly apologetic for how things had gone down the previous night, and not just to me either. He even went out of his way to have a talk with George outside before we got down to business, which had surprised the three of us who remained.
When the pair of them had come back in, Matty was grinning from ear to ear and George’s eyes were set on me, I smiled when I noticed him wearing one of his own.
That was the first practice we all ended up really enjoying, and it’d been just in time too because the guys went out and absolutely killed their gig later that evening. They’d had half the locals up on their feet and gotten the pub packed full with a bunch of people from school. It’d definitely been a night to remember, not just because of how it had all worked out in the end, but it’d also been the night that Matty changed the band’s name- again.
—
“Mattyyyy, I swear! I just don’t know what to do!” I whined from where I was hanging off the side of his huge wooden bed.
Matty was propped up just below me on his phone texting whoever, his mum having invited me over for Sunday tea. I smacked his arm when he only continued to ignore me.
“Jesus. What do you want me to say!” Matty exclaimed, snorting when he glanced up at me and caught sight of my very distressed frown. “It’s just George, babe. He’s harmless.”
“I fucking know that! But… I don’t know, it’s just-”
I was about to say weird. But I’d stopped myself before I could let the word slip, because that didn’t feel like the right way to describe how I felt about it.
You see, for some maddening reason George had taken it upon himself to start popping up every and anywhere I might be. A bit like an annoying fly really.
It’d started with the waiting. Remember? That first morning we skived off school to practice for their gig… Well, George had taken that as a silent invitation to continue doing exactly that, just every day.
Not just that either. He seemed to appear whenever he pleased, too. Had taken to sitting in the seat beside me during maths because he knew I sucked at it. Shared his food with me, or would slide a couple quid across the table, whenever I had no lunch. And I kept finding his eyes on me more often than not.
The whole thing was driving me mad and I had zero clue as to why. Because it was anything any other normal mate would do. Hell, it was exactly what the other boys would do for me as well as one another, it’s what Vicky tended to do whenever we would have one of our catch ups. But things just felt a whole lot different with George.
It was like he always knew more than he was letting on. And that on its own set me on edge.
I didn’t want or need anyone digging any deeper than what I allowed, I couldn’t have anyone seeing what I tried so hard to hide.
And so the situation with George did grate on me a bit. And I had taken to complaining to Matty about it every chance I got. Not that the dickhead seemed to care, he was always off in his own world. Had his own shit to deal with. Seeing how his mum and dad were currently in the middle of a divorce, I could understand why he found my hysterical venting amusing.
Still.
“Look, he’s just bein’ friendly. Might even have a bit of a crush on you, babe- ‘cause I mean, what’s not to like, ey?” Matty grinned, winking up at me from the floor, I groaned and rolled my eyes in reply. “Anyway, it’ll blow over soon enough and hey, you might even miss the attention.”
I scowled and tossed one of the many pillows his bed homed at his giant head.
That was the last time I spoke to Matty about it. Deciding then and there that I’d just let George do as he pleased, if it made him happy helping me out or tagging along, then fine. He could have it his way. I’d just have to find a way to get over it.
—
It was late. Nearing two in the morning and I was still wide awake.
I could hear them, in the room next to mine. They’d been at it for hours now, long enough that I was both mortified and utterly mystified by the fact that the neighbours had yet to have the police knocking down our door.
He was fucking her now, but in a minute or two they’d be back to fighting again. You could count on it. Mum and Steven moved like clockwork. Steven was her newest thing, they’d been together a few short weeks now, ever since Julio had come and gone. Julio who had stuck around the longest so far, a whole nine months. The guy had been a layabout, but he hadn’t ever laid a hand on me. Something I was grateful for, but something Steven couldn’t account for as well.
No, Steven was a lot more violent than the rest, but I much preferred violence over-
I inhaled, in and out. Out then in.
I buried my face further into my pillowcase. I had school in the morning, and no idea how I was going to function if things continued like this.
I kept on breathing though. Attempting to tune them out. To sleep.
I knew it’d been a long time coming but I still startled when I heard the thud and then the loud wail which followed. I froze in my bed but couldn’t stop myself from listening out. Wondering if this was the hit that finally killed her.
No.
She was calling out to him again. Trying to stop it, stop him, trying to calm him down.
But you should know better by now, mum.
“Stop! Julio, stop please!”
My breath caught in the back of my throat at her pleading shout. Either Julio had finally reappeared in my mum’s bedroom during the middle of the night, or my mum had done something so incredibly stupid. She’d called Steven by another man’s name.
“The fuck did you just call me?” I heard him bellow through the paper thin walls of our tiny townhouse. Another thump. And then an ominous thud.
“Steven! I said Steven!” My mum wailed.
She sounded so desperate I had to squeeze my eyes close, as though I was the one facing the brunt of his fists.
He started roaring, swearing loudly in that Liverpool accent of his. And rained down on her harder than anyone else ever had. Thump after thump. She screamed, cried, wailed. Pleading loudly now, loud enough for the whole neighbourhood to hear. So how could he not?
But we all knew he could, he just didn’t care. To him she was merely a toy.
“Steven!”
I hadn’t even realised I was up and out of my bed, let alone standing on the landing, before I was staring up into a face full of fury.
The door to their bedroom had been wrenched open, my fingers pale and tight around the handle, though I could hardly feel the metal beneath them now.
“The fuck do you want?”
I had no time to even answer him, my eyes locked on my mum’s bloody form when a fist came flying at me. It sent me back, knocked me into the banister hard enough to welt my spine, and I whimpered but made no other noise, keeping my jaw locked tight and my bleary eyes trained on him even as he approached. Stomping like the child he was.
“Fuckin’ miserable little thing you. Yer mother never teach you to mind yer business- yer manners?” He spat at me, and I took it as well as the next thump when he propelled my head off the wooden railing behind me. “Breathe another word and you’ll be in for worse next time. Now fuck off, would ya.”
I slid by him as fast as I could without looking like I was about to piss myself, my mum stood in the bedroom doorway now, lip and face bloodied around a lazy smile. “Night, sweetheart.” She said, like nothing was the matter.
I forced a lump of bile back down my throat and nodded, knowing if I ignored her I’d only be in for another blow- or a shove down the stairs.
She and Steven went back inside, him thundering as he went and shouting some more. I let go of the shaky breath I'd been clinging on to before I tiptoed as quickly as I could into my own room. I grabbed my mobile and my trainers, brain practically working on autopilot, then I was down the stairs and out the front door before I could second guess it.
I don’t know how far I walked or what time it was but I remember calling Matty. I called a few times actually, each time it went straight to voicemail. His phone was off.
I debated phoning Adam or Ross, maybe even Vicky. But I couldn’t bring myself to do so.
Instead I wrapped my arms around my chest, shivering without really feeling the cold that swept past me and letting my feet lead me wherever they pleased. My body seemed to collapse somewhere between the bridge on Brook Street and the little playground a couple blocks over from mine though. I curled up on the bench there, dragged my knees up towards my shoulders and clung to them tightly.
I stared off into the darkness for a little while. Not caring what I looked like or who might find me come sunrise. Just staring ahead at the squeaking swings in the distance and the grassy fields that surrounded the nearby estate.
“Y/n?”
I blinked at the sound of my name, but had to hear it a few more times before I finally pulled myself out of the daze I’d fallen into and looked away.
I was stunned to see George stood there towering above me, clad in a grey hoodie and a pair of jogging shorts. His face was one of complete shock, something that would’ve made me laugh any other day, seeing as he was always so stoic looking. But I couldn’t. Not then. I didn’t even know how I was still breathing.
“Fucking hell, what, what h-”
George stopped himself short and approached me with a wary caution, I was thankful he hadn’t finished that sentence and didn’t stop him when he took the seat beside me on the wearing wooden bench.
He must’ve tugged his hoodie off at some point because I felt him drape it around me in the next moment. It was warm, a stark and sudden contrast to the numbness I’d been feeling since I’d left my bed.
“What are you doing here?” I croaked out, once the panic had become too much to bare and I felt as though every nerve-ending in my body was slowly igniting. I had to fill the silence with something. I didn’t want to think any longer. I couldn’t. Not with questions like ‘Was she even still alive?’ and ‘Did she even care?’ on my mind.
“I,” George started, drawing my focus, and seemed to take a deep breath before he continued on, “I like going on walks, when I can’t sleep. Helps clear my head.”
I let that lie between us and then asked, “Why?”
I stared blankly ahead again, too scared to face him. Or rather, him face me. To see the damaged goods I really was.
“My mum’s home.” He told me quietly, wind whistling around us. I found it comforting that he knew instantly what question I’d really been asking.
I hummed. My mum was home too, but I wished she wasn’t.
“She works a lot. Abroad mostly, ’s why we move around so much.” George explained to me, and I knew why he was telling me all this when he’d never let a word slip about his home life before.
It was an eye for an eye situation. He’d seen me like this, battered and bruised. And wanted to make sure it was clear that he didn’t have the upper hand here, that I wouldn’t think he had something he could use against me.
“My dad reckons she means well, but…” He just shrugged, hands tucked into the pockets of his shorts. I took note of the thin white tee he wore and the way he tried not to shiver. “We don’t get on.”
“She ever hurt you?”
I don’t know why I asked it. But I did. I wanted to pry, to cut him open and see if he bled the same way I had.
“Slapped me twice. First time, she cried. Second, was tonight.”
I let that sink in.
“My mum’s boyfriend did this.” I let slip quietly, hoping that the wind around us was strong enough to howl over my words. But I’d never been that lucky. George tensed beside me. Rigid as a rock. He’d heard.
In and out. I repeated the motion, the words on a loop in my head.
“You know that coffee shop over on Durham?” He asked me next, catching me off guard. Confused, I nodded. “You reckon you can get there?”
I nodded again, though I was still unsure. On whether I could make it, and if I should trust him here. It wouldn’t be the first time someone close to me let me down.
George seemed to sense my uncertainty and merely waited me out.
I took a deep breath after a long moment had passed and stood on shaky legs. He came to a stand next to me but kept his hands firmly in his pockets, making sure I noticed that fact too. A gesture that eased a fraction of my anxiety.
Slowly we walked together over to the small coffee shop that was open all hours, not uttering a single word the entire way. My body ached but I carried on, slipping his hoodie on properly once we’d finally neared the shops flickering ‘open’ sign. I tugged the hood up too to hide some of my face before we entered, unsure of what I might’ve looked like.
George went in first and held the door open for me, making sure to stay in my line of sight at all times, even when he offered to go order whilst I found us a table.
I grunted to myself when my tender skin brushed against the back of the booth I’d chosen in the far corner, one where I could watch the door and have no one at my back.
I sat there, waiting, and attempted to occupy my mind with the quiet song which was playing overhead, fingers fidgeting with the salt shaker all the while.
George returned a few minutes afterwards, tray in hand. He motioned towards it once he’d sat down opposite. “Got a couple warm drinks- you like tea right?” He asked me, and I nodded, surprised that he’d remembered, before he carried on, “Got a cup of water too, to clean your face up if you wanted.”
I swallowed thickly at the kind thought and carefully guided one of the warm mugs he’d purchased towards me, wrapping my hands around it and savouring its steaming heat.
“I can’t really see it, so there’s no point.” I murmured, staring down into the milky brew.
He was quiet for a few seconds, shaking a sugar packet before pouring it into his coffee. “I can do it if you want.”
I peered up at him and tried to hide my wariness. The way my body immediately stilled and pulled away. George didn’t say anything about it though, just continued to stir his overly sweetened cup.
I licked at my lip and tasted the thick metal that then coated my tongue. It was that which drove me to nod at him. George didn’t smile or acknowledge my nervousness, merely took a napkin and dipped it into the water. We both leant in further across the table at the same time. I forced myself to stay frozen when he begun to dab at my broken skin.
After a few napkins had been stained a crimson red, I finally relaxed a tad, glancing up at George’s own face whilst he worked deftly on mine.
It was then that I noticed the mark he’d mentioned having received earlier. A scatter of faint red dots in the shape of fingers sat alongside a fine welt that rested on his cheekbone. It made me wonder what had happened. If he’d been asking for it or if she’d done it out of anger.
Had I been asking for it? I wondered, drawing back into myself a tad. But stopped when I hissed outwardly, snapping my eyes up to meet his.
“Sorry.” George murmured, trying to be gentler when he wiped at my lip again.
“It’s okay. Just, didn’t expect it.”
He nodded in quiet understanding but said nothing further, and soon enough he tossed the final napkin onto the pile he’d made and simply went back to his coffee. I couldn’t help my tiny smile. Thankful, for once, to have him there.
…
After that night I started to lean on George a little bit more. More than I should’ve, in truth.
I was hardly even aware of though, until it was much too late. ’Til I realised I was looking at him in a whole other light. One I’d taken to avoiding since the day I’d met him.
We walked to school together every morning, met the guys at the gates and then separated from them at first bell. We hauled up in the music room at break, talking and telling one another quiet truths. Spent lunchtime smoking behind the bike shed, sometimes with Vicky, other times with one or two of the boys. We went to practice together and then walked home together. Met up when either one of us ‘couldn’t sleep’ and got far too familiar with the staff in Bru, that coffee shop we’d ventured into that first night. Even took to exploring the city I’d lived in my whole life. Travelling down to the yard, and wasting days in the park and arcade.
I depended on him always being there, I realised after a short while, and didn’t really seem to mind it. Which was as much strange as it was terrifying. George quickly became my person, a truth in a world full of lies. It was hard to comprehend most days.
—
“Oi, you’re definitely coming to Jamie’s party tonight right?” Vicky called out to me from across the worktop, we were currently in food tech and she was trying her very hardest to save the burnt sponge she’d made to no avail.
My eyes darted over to where George was stood working on the table over, then nodded at her. “Should be.”
“Great.” She grinned at me, “You bringing your boys along with you?”
I cocked an amused brow at her. She’d taken to calling them that. My boys.
“Don’t own them.”
Vic rolled her eyes at my answer then turned to shout over her shoulder at George before I could think to stop her, “You coming tonight then, Daniels?”
George’s head swivelled around towards us but it took him a second to stop working on his white icing before he answered. He glanced towards me first, a question dancing in his eyes. I gave a subtle nod, not even thinking about it. He mimicked it. “Should be.” He told her, wiping his dirty hands on a damp tea towel.
Vicky groaned loudly in return, “You two, I swear! You drive me insane.”
George’s forehead furrowed, obviously confused by her obvious irritation.
“She said the exact same thing!” Vicky huffed in explanation before she turned on him once more, “Just do me a favour and make sure she’s there, alright? It’s important.”
I released a light air of laughter whilst George’s mouth just quirked upwards into a small smile, he saluted her like a soldier would a general. “Yes, mam.”
“Ooh, I like the sound of that.” Vicky mentioned, a devious smile liming her lips.
I snorted.
“At ease, soldier.” I said to George before he wandered over to join me, swiping a finger through my freshly sifted icing. “Oi!”
“What?” George questioned me innocently, as though he hadn’t just put his grubby fingers in my food.
“I swear if Hanson marks me down ‘cause of that, I will string you up by the balls and dangle you from the school’s roof.” I warned him seriously.
Vicky giggled to herself, “Kinky.”
I rolled my eyes at her, whilst George just smirked, taking claim of my seat.
“You finished with yours then?” I asked him, still working on the roses I’d sculpted for the top of my dessert.
He hummed a quiet confirmation and begun to play with the string of my apron. I peered over at his station and was a tad bit impressed by the cake I saw. Vicky followed and whistled at the sight of it.
“Wow, Daniels. If drumming doesn’t work out for you, baking just might.”
“A man of many talents, our Georgie.” I teased, bopping his nose and staining the tip of it with a print of icing sugar. Vic giggled again and George scrunched his face up at me.
“George Daniel, in your seat please!” Miss Hanson interrupted as she looped back round and George gave me a ‘what can you do?” sort of look, before he sighed and went back to his assigned seat, wiping a hand full of icing across my cheek as he did so. I gasped.
“Prick!”
“Miss Y/l/n, language! Might I remind you that we are in a classroom not a zoo.”
I gifted the woman a strained smile and felt my left eye twitch. “Yes, Miss Hanson. Sorry, Miss Hanson.”
She merely harrumphed and plodded away, I made a face at her back. Vic snorted behind a crumb covered hand.
“That woman will be the death of me, I swear.” I grumbled unhappily.
Vicky was smirking when I glanced back up at her though, doing little to hide her ever rising amusement. I knew right then what was coming just by the look on her face.
“Detention, Miss Y/l/n. Lunchtime.” Miss Hanson grunted out and instantly my face fell. Vicky continued to snicker away at my expense.
“You’ll pay for that.” I mouthed to her, only to receive a feigned blameless smile in response. It was in that next moment that Miss Hanson shouted out again.
“Mr Daniel, same goes to you! Lunchtime detention. What on earth has gotten into all of you?”
Both Vicky and I snapped our attention in the direction of George’s table to find that he’d upturned a bowl full of flour onto the counter and drawn a leaking appendage into it. Both of our eyes widened before we burst out laughing.
“Miss Taylor, do you wish to join them both?” Miss Hanson threatened and Vicky was quick to quieten down, shaking her head at the older woman.
“No, miss.”
“Good, then I advise you to continue with your work.”
Miss Hanson moved on after that and whilst I struggled to get ahold of my chuckles, I saw Vicky waggle her brows at me before she jerked her chin over towards George, who was cleaning up his powdery mess. Confused, I shot her a bewildered look. But she merely smirked in turn, shaking her head at me.
I frowned but continued on rolling my roses, mind lingering on what she could’ve possibly meant.
…
Jamie Taylor’s parties were always something to remember.
The first one I’d ever gone to was for J’s birthday, he’d gone all out for it, decorated a bit, even had one of his mate’s older brothers supply a couple crates and bottles for us all.
Originally it’d been his mum that had forced him to invite Vicky and I along, which had put a bit of a downer on the whole thing, but the pair of us had been far too excited to have the chance to hang ‘round with the older kids at school and dress up a bit to care.
In truth, it’d been the first proper party I’d ever attended- if you didn’t count the one Sarah Whelts had thrown back in primary school, though that had been just as sick seeing as she’d had it in the local Maccies.
But yeah, that party was also the first time I snogged a lad. Like properly. It’d actually been with one of Jamie’s friends- his best mate, if we were being dead honest here- and it’d had my head spinning. Vicky had caught the two of us in the upstairs loo though and hadn’t shut up about it for weeks afterwards. To say she’d put me off wanting to get with him again was a massive understatement, she’d hung it over my head for ages, threatening to let it slip to J whenever she was in one of her annoying moods.
This time around though, all I wanted was to have a good time. After the shit day I’d had, I figured I deserved the chance to drown my sorrows.
“Hey, hey! There she is!”
I glanced up just as I made it through the front door and gave a smile when I spotted the man of the hour headed my way.
“Alright, Jaim.” I greeted as he roped an arm around me to pull me into a tight hug, he smelt of his usual aftershave and the lingering tinge of smoke.
“I’m grand, babe.” Jamie grinned back, looking down at me now as he pulled away a tad, arm still hanging off my shoulders. “Glad you made it though, ain’t seen you in ages. Vic said it was like pullin’ teeth tryna get an answer out of you.”
I rolled my eyes at the theatrics and laughed lightly. “Yeah, well she’s a drama queen.”
“Don’t I know it.” Jamie sighed, all put-upon before he chuckled.
We were interrupted then by a hoard full of boys. My boys as a matter of fact.
“Well hello, don’t you look stunnin’! Been looking all over for you.” Matty greeted merrily, beer already in hand as he accosted me in the hallway. I released a happy laugh of my own when he smacked a big kiss to my cheek and took my hand in his. “You only just get here?”
I nodded in faint reply before I pulled away from Jamie’s embrace to envelope both Ross and Hann into a hug, giving them my hello’s too. “Yeah, had stuff to do first. How long you lot been here?” I asked, but my eyes darted behind them in search of George. “And where’s G?”
The nickname was relatively new, but I’d always said that his name felt far too long. G seemed to be sticking anywho.
Matty kissed his teeth as his eyes scanned the room, fingers still attached to mine. “He was here a while ago- came with us, didn’t he.”
“Think he went out for a fag.” Ross mentioned to me before his eye caught Stacey Donahue dancing away in the corner. Hann and I shared a knowing smile before the giant made his excuses and dipped away.
“How you lads enjoyin’ the party then?”
I startled slightly at Jamie’s voice, having completely forgotten he’d been stood there with us. Although it did look like he’d just been quietly welcoming people as they arrived, whilst I’d been caught up.
Matty beamed at the question and raised the neck of his drink at him, “Great time, mate. As always.”
Jamie chuckled, “Cheers. Um, you two mind if I have a word with this lady ‘ere though?”
The lazy grin Matty wore grew at Jamie’s ask and Hann was smirking to himself as he nodded. “‘Course.” He replied for the both of them, before sparing a glance at me, “Come find us soon, yeah?”
My brow pinched and I could only nod at his request, ignoring Matty’s drunken snickering before Jamie gestured his head over to the right and begun leading me away, through the kitchen and its rowdy partygoers, out into the garden.
The air outside was a bit chilly, but I was still wearing the denim jacket George had lent me earlier that afternoon, so I didn’t feel it so much. I peered around at a few of the people who’d decided to gather in the garden, some of them smoking around the fire-pit, others sprawled out on the grass beneath the gazebo.
“What’s up?” I asked Jamie once he’d finished saying hello to a couple of his mates that had decided to head back inside just as we came out. He looked over at me.
Jamie had always been a good looking lad. You know, the typical pretty boy type. With his light eyes and cheeky smile. I remembered how much I used to fancy him growing up, not just ‘cause he was nice to look at, but because he’d always looked out for me, never made me feel stupid or less than. He was just a decent guy.
But it was a surprise to me then though to see him looking so sheepish, scratching at the jut of his jaw whilst his eyes skirted around me. Jamie was anything but shy, even when he was getting a good hiding he was still smirking away.
“You alright?” I asked him around a light chuckle, unsure on what he’d even wanted me for.
“Yeah, yeah.” He was quick to assure me, fighting to dampen his growing grin when he finally met my mirthful eyes. “Just needed a breather, you know. Mental in there.”
“What, and you just decided you’d use me as an excuse?” I teased, unable to help myself and fighting back a laugh when his eyes widened.
“Nah, no, nothing like that.” Jamie hurried out.
I just shook my head my head in return with a sweet smile, hands tucked in the pockets of my jacket. “I’m messing, J. What’s up? You seem on edge.”
He heaved out a big breath and left me waiting on a real reply, he was honestly starting to worry me a tad but now, never had I heard him go so long without speaking. He was almost as bad as Vic herself- maybe it was a family thing.
“Jaim?”
“Sorry.” Jamie sighed and dragged a frustrated hand down across his face. “Sorry just- reckon I need another drink.”
He laughed lightly, clearly trying to ease some of the tension he felt, and I joined but only for something to do. Still so confused.
“You gonna hold me hostage out here all night?” I prodded, raising my eyebrows at him with a soft smile when he peered my way.
He rolled his eyes with an amused grin, before he cut to it. “Listen, we’ve been mates for ages, right?”
Slowly I nodded at him. I’d call Jamie a friend, but it felt weird him acknowledging it, in my eyes, to him, I’d always just be his little sister’s tagalong.
“Right. Exactly.” Jamie barrelled on, not sensing my bewilderment. “And you probably know me best, innit? Like out of everyone- aside from me mum and me dad, probably Vic too.”
I wouldn’t say that but, “I ‘spose.”
“Good.” He dipped his head in a jerky nod and, honestly, I would’ve thought he was on something, the way he was acting, if I hadn’t been looking up into his eyes. “Yeah, so what I’m basically tryna say here is that-”
Jamie’s little tangent was promptly cut short by the arm that engulfed me. “B, ‘ve been lookin’ all over for you.”
Immediately I grinned, already knowing just who it’d been by the freckles that dotted their wrist and the familiar scent that wrapped its way around me. I lifted my head up to stare into George Daniel’s familiar eyes, their brown blown wide and hidden slightly by the squint of his smile.
“You made it!” I exclaimed happily, my hand reaching up to meet his at my shoulder, I gave it a quick squeeze and he nodded down at me.
“Said I would.” He replied and we shared another smile.
It was then that George seemed to realise he’d interrupted the conversation I’d just been having, his brows jumped upwards as he turned to look at Jamie.
“Oh sorry, mate. Didn’t mean to barge in.” George apologised with a smaller smile, glancing between us, “Just spotted her as I was headin’ back in.”
“You’re alright.” I assured George, “J was just having a quick word.”
“I’ll leave you to it then. Meet you inside?” George offered and I wanted so badly to wave it off, yank him back over to the side of the house where I knew he’d been hiding, and share a joint or two. But Jamie…
“If you don’t mind, mate.” Jamie nodded, his smile a little tight. I frowned, but glanced back up at George to make sure he was really okay with it.
“‘Course.” He smiled easily, squeezing my hand and pressing his nose into my hair as he pressed a quick peck to my temple. Something that was relatively new to us. Though I couldn’t help the butterflies it seems to erupt. “Bye bye Birdie.”
I snorted softly as he untangled himself, smirking all the while. Hating having ever let it slip that I loved that film.
He saluted me before slipping through the back door and I turned back to Jamie with a fond smile I didn’t even realise I was wearing.
“Sorry, what were you saying?” I asked him now that he finally had my full focus again.
Jamie stared at me long and hard, before a strange look crossed over his face. Almost one of realisation, or maybe resignation? It baffled me but I didn’t have the chance to question it.
“You know what-” Jamie breathed out, his smile small now but still genuine as he reached a hand out to brush against my shoulder. I glanced down at it briefly before he was speaking again. “Don’t worry about it. I can tell you another time, yeah?”
Forehead pinched in utter confusion, I wanted to prod at him further but he was shutting down before my very eyes by putting up a loud and extraverted bravado. One he usually let slip around those he was comfortable with. I wondered what I’d possibly done wrong.
“It’s a party, ain’t it? Lemme grab you a beer- you just enjoy yourself!”
Then he was squeezing my arm and breezing past me before I could get a word in edgeways.
I stood there on the patio, lost. Head so busy just trying to work out what the hell had happened that I didn’t even notice Vicky until she was there hanging off my arm.
“Did he tell you? Did he tell you?” She questioned me in her tipsy state, not even giving me the time to answer before she was pestering me with a dozen other confusing questions, “What d’ya say? Did you say you it back? Did you let him kiss you? Wait, don’t answer that one- don’t think I want to know.”
My brain short-circuited.
Only half aware, I felt myself glance through the window into the kitchen, to where Jamie now stood pouring a couple drinks, surrounded by people. His eyes met mine through the glass, before they trailed over to where his sister was now jumping about excitedly beside me, his face paled at the realisation.
Shit. Jamie liked me.
—
Jamie kept his distance after that night. Didn’t try to bring it up again or actually admit what, I was now afraid, he’d been about to.
Though the whole thing did confuse me- if it had been that that he’d been so close to admitting to, then what had stopped him? Was it because of George’s interruption, or had he just thought better of it?
They nibbled away at me, all these thoughts. But I tried to keep them at bay, ignore them as best I could. Because I could honestly have the entirely wrong end of the stick here, and maybe, just maybe Jamie wasn't actually avoiding me, maybe he was just busy with exams, and school, footie…
I groaned to myself, feeling a headache brewing. So much for ignoring the topic.
“What’s goin’ on in that head of yours, cupcake?”
I scowled at the tap I received to the side of my skull and swatted halfheartedly when Ross dropped himself down onto the grass beside me.
The rest of lads, plus Vicky, were all up at the ice-cream van that’d pulled up at the curb by the entrance to the park. I hadn’t wanted anything when they’d all started to wander over, having heard the whining tune, whilst Ross had called in his winnings with Matty (the two of them were always betting on something or other) and asked for ‘a 99 with a flake and sprinkles, please!’
I’d been glad to have it just be me and him for a short while, I’d been feeling off all day and he was usually the one who didn’t ever mind my moods.
“Nothing.” I told him, picking at daisies that had just begun to litter the grass.
“What not even a cymbal-banging monkey?”
I breathed out an airy chuckle. “Why, is that all you’re used to?”
“Yup. That and tits.” He shrugged and I snorted an unexpected laugh.
“Pig.”
Ross merely grinned before he nudged me again. “Come on, get it off your mind before them lot come barging back over.”
I glanced out across the field, saw Matty pissing about with Vicky by the roadside and the way Hann struggled to keep his ice-cream from dripping down his hand. Then looked back to Ross. He’d kicked his legs out wide, palms splayed out behind him whilst his skateboard rested beside his foot.
“It’s nothing, stupid really.” I told him and watched the way he quirked an encouraging brow at me, obviously wanting me to carry on. I released a heavy sigh, “Can’t really talk to anyone about it, you know? Or it feels that way.”
“Well, I’m sat here asking, so tell me. You know I don’t care- could tell me you just bleached your armpits and I’d only ask to see.”
I smiled, shaking my head at his strange reply. But that was just Ross, he made you feel so at ease. Like you really could tell him anything.
“Fine. Just, you know Jamie?” I ventured carefully, gaze on the tiny flowers I was fiddling with in my lap.
“‘Course. Vicky’s brother- plays striker, don’t he?”
I hummed, “Yeah, him.”
“Alright, what about him?” Ross prompted and I could feel his eyes lingering on my hands, watching as I made holes in the stems of the daisies I’d collected.
“Something happened with him the other night, at his party.”
“Did he do something?” Ross’s hardened tone made me blink and so I was quick to snap my head up to reassure him.
“No, no. Nothing bad. Just something he said, or well, something Vic mentioned after we’d spoke.”
“You’re being pretty vague here.”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek. “I know, sorry. I just- it’s strange to say out loud. I feel like I’ve got it all turned around in my head.”
“Alright well, just tell me what happened and I’ll see if you have or not.”
I wet my lower lip in thought then ultimately decided that it couldn’t hurt. The worst Ross would do is poke fun at me, and I knew wholeheartedly he wouldn’t say a word to the others.
“It started when I left you lot, he wanted to have a word and took me outside.” I started to explain, “He was acting right weird. Just not himself, you know? A bit nervous, I ‘spose.”
Ross hummed when I paused for a breath.
“And he was trying to tell me something. Thought it was gonna be something bad- what with they way he was acting- and he was just about to finally spit it out when G wandered over. We’d spoken for a few minutes, just normal shit, said hi and whatnot. Introduced him to Jamie. Then he headed inside, but when he’d gone Jamie lost his nerve. Put up this front and told me to forget about whatever he’d been about to say. Acted as though it was nothing important.”
“Right…”
“Then he shot off before I could say another word! I was so fucking confused, Ross. Beyond it actually. And then Vic came over, drunk and spewing a whole load of crap. Asking question after question. She-” I couldn’t say it for a moment, scared if I voiced it that it would sound stupid. But I inhaled and just forced the words out anyway. “She asked if he’d finally told me, if I felt the same way… if he’d kissed me.”
“Oh.” Ross said and I shot him a strained look.
“Oh. That’s really all you have to say?”
Ross’s eyes widened as he chuckled, “Sorry! Just, I mean, it was sort of obvious.”
I frowned. “What was?”
“Jamie. Matt and I have been betting on him asking you out since the week after we met you.”
“Ross!” I exclaimed, in utter disbelief.
“What?” He squawked in retort, mimicking as he withheld a laugh.
“Don’t what me, you knob! You knew he liked me and said nothing??”
“Yeah. I had ten quid on him bricking it whilst Matty reckoned he’d do it before Christmas. Then Christmas passed and we changed the terms to that he’d just ask you out.”
I stared back at him.
“You didn’t tell me because there was money at stake?”
“That, and we both knew it’d drive a wedge between your friendship with Vic. Then she finally caught on to it as well and we were gonna say something, but by then G had come along.”
My brow furrowed, “The fuck has George got to do with it?”
Ross levelled me with a look. I gave him one straight back. And it was then that he blinked and seemed to realise I really had no idea what he was on about.
“Wow. You’re so fucking oblivious, cupcake.”
I smacked his chest. “Ross. I’m not playing about here.”
“Christ.” He hissed, rubbing at his shirt. “Really got some power behind you. Who would’ve thought.”
Scowling, I prodded him again. “Ross, just tell me, would you? You’re driving me mad.”
He huffed but relented, looking me dead in the eye, “George has got everything to do with it, Y/n. I mean, he’s half fucking in love with you.”
I gaped for a short moment, eyes darting between Ross’s own when they never faltered, just waiting for him to tell me it was all a big joke.
“What?”
“You really have no idea, do you?” Ross chuckled, shaking his head at me like I was some sad little puppy. “But that’s alright, I guess. Seeing as he has no clue that you like him too.”
My eyes widened at the sureness in his voice but before I could even defend myself, the rest of our little group were swanning their way back over, completely unaware of the way my heart was currently deafening my eardrums. Or how it only seemed to pound harder when George handed me a milk lolly I hadn’t asked for, knowing that they were my favourite.
Ross shot me another look, smirking all the while.
Oh, shit.
Part B>
#the 1975#george daniel#george daniel the 1975#george daniel fic#george 1975#george daniel x reader#matty#matty healy#george daniel x you#1975#best friend matty#the 1975 band#fic#adam hann#ross macdonald#carly holt#1975 band#matty 1975#series#work#exes to lovers#y/n#reader#multi part fic#x you#x reader#angst#fluff#humour#drama
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Ahsoka "Dreams and Madness" Liveblog
Heeeeeeeeee.
My week has sucked, let's get into this already, this is some of the only true joy I'm deriving from life right now.
(I'm okay but legitimately, my week has sucked, lemme have this.)
HELLO CORUSCANT YOU'RE LOOKING PRETTY.
Ho daaaaayum, Hera bringing the fire to this meeting.
I am... annoyed by the emphasis on Hera as a maverick though, she was the Rebels character MOST beholden to the protocol and procedure of the hierarchy, the time she saved Kanan was the only time she ever really defied orders and dammit I have just patchworked myself my own answer okay so obviously she's normally very rule-abiding EXCEPT for times when her family and the people she cares about most need her help and no one else will give aid to her.
Curses upon my ability to iron out plot wrinkles I don't like.
Filoni must REALLY not like Xiono, he's giving him all the skeptic lines.
Course this is also one of the times the writing has to be hampered by trying to patchwork and salvage the Sequel Trilogy by explaining why the New Republic ignored the problem of the First Order until it was too late.
HI THREEPIO.
Man I am gonna cry ugly tears when we lose Antony Daniels, he loves playing Threepio so much, he's always up for it, never once complained that no one knows him from anything else.
Right so I get why they had Threepio deliver a message instead of trying to CGI frankenstein Leia into this but also Disney are cowards JUST RECAST THE MAIN TRIO I PROMISE NO ONE ACTUALLY HOLDS IT AGAINST ALDEN, TLJ JUST SUCKED AND SOLO WAS THE NEXT PRODUCT WE HAD TO TAKE THINGS OUT ON.
Seriously, the de-aging and CGI puppetry is starting to get uncomfortable and weird.
Chopper bout to throw hands in this courthouse lol.
I'm sorry, the emphasis on just how LONG this hyperspace trip is is absolutely making me reel with adoration for Ezra, he held the air inside the bridge of the Chimaera and the door closed and Thrawn in place ALL THE WAY TO PERIDEA IN ANOTHER FREAKING GALAXY.
YOUR FAVE COULD NEVER.
Loosen up a bit Rosario, you're stiff.
Oof that little bow between Ahsoka and Holo!Anakin.
Huyang begrudgingly having to remember to trust the Force lol.
Ohhhhh bastard, he put explosives in orbit to stop the purrgil!
.....Making the ring against the planet like that was supposed to be a visual reminder of the Death Star right?
The look of subtle but dawning horror in Thrawn's face when he realizes Ahsoka was Anakin's padawan lololol.
Like, "Ffffffffffffff--"
"Jedi are very good at hiding. They've been practicing that for years." Ah yes, excellent, another moment/quote I can add to my collection of "Thrawn barely containing his seething loathing of Ezra" bits lol.
*perks* Oh? Are we at the interesting parts now?
Ahhhh yes the minivan convoy with mom and dad Sabezra at the front.
There should have been waaaaaay more infodumping in this conversation, I need Ezra to boggle over everything.
Sabine still avoiding the question, but lol at Ezra's "The usual level [of complicated] or worse?" that's so cute.
THEIR BANTER IS ADORABLE I AM PILLOWING MYSELF IN IT AND MAKING A BLANKET FORT.
FRICK THIS IS PERFECT.
Ugh and he doesn't push her to talk about it, he's still so considerate of her armor and walls.
Someone, maybe multiple someones commented that they could see serious Two Towers aesthetics in this and... yeah no this is super LOTR-esque.
Lars Mikkelson continuing to kill it with his performance, as basic as it is.
[SIGHS HEAVILY AT THE CONTINUING INSISTENCE ON MAKING SABINE FORCE SENSITIVE] Okay, Filoni, whatever.
I'm ignoring this, I'm pretending she reached out to Ezra instead.
"Took me in when I really needed help." Ohhhhh do not do that, do not plant hurt/comfort ideas in my head ghgkasuhfkauhf.
He is so softly concerned about her aaaaahhhhhh.
I saw a few people confused by Baylan basically abandoning Shin to things here when he was acting so fond of her last episode so let me maybe shed some light on that situation. Ahem:
THE DARK SIDE DESIRE FOR POWER SLOWLY CONSUMES YOU UNTIL IT IS OVERWHELMING, UNTIL WHAT YOU WANTED THE POWER FOR NO LONGER MATTERS. THAT'S ITS NATURE THAT'S WHAT IT DOES. BECOMES MORE AND MORE OF AN OBSESSION UNTIL IT'S ALL YOU CARE ABOUT.
So yes, Baylan chucking Shin out to find her destiny or whatever because whatever it is that he's trying to seize power from is making him completely overlook her feelings.
"If Lord Baylan proves capable..." LOLOLOL BAYLAN DECIDED TO SCREW THAT NOISE HE'S IN IT FOR HIMSELF MY MAN.
GUNSHIPS! GUUUUUNSHIIIIIIIPS!
:D
Ezra can't leave the one crashed one, awwwwww.
Frick, him being the Noti's protector is just so frigging cute. I need fluff fics.
I'M GONNA DIE FROM THIS BANTER, IT'S ADORABLE.
Battle Couple Sabezra now? Y/Y?
Baylan's whole demeanor is changing, it's like he's soaking up the Dark Side energy of this place. Once again, awed by Ray Stevenson's sheer presence. The man feels massive and he's just standing there.
LOLOL THIS WHOLE ARGUMENT OVER THE "OUR" LIGHTSABER.
I'm grinning.
But also I wanna see Ezra hold his lightsaber again, pretty please?
Ahsoka doing much better now that she has both her blades this time.
*pillows hands* Can I watch Ezra forever please. I missed you son. Never leave me again.
HUYAAAAAAAAANG! :D
Oh man, how much dread and chagrin do you think Ezra had when he saw the stormtroopers?
Ho ho Thrawn looks eager for this.
SQUEEEEEEEEEEE.
(They are this close to holding hands you guys.)
This is probably giving Ezra flashblacks.
Oh sue me I want some angst and whump and pain to have happened in the interim.
Ahsoooooookkaaaaaaaaaaa! :D
Oh for, please stop using the beskar as literal plot armor. It sucks a lot of danger out of the fight.
Thrawn being all Xanatos Gambit like the pro he is.
Shin looking like she might cry, oh wow actual emotions.
FRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIICCCCKKK THAT ADORABLE LITTLE LAUGH.
Oh gosh, don't jinx it don't jinx it don't jinx it...
Wheeeeeeeeee that was... fun, actually!
The Sabezra bits were adorable. I have quibbles here and there but I'm just so happy being Sabine being happy and content and seeing Ezra being... Ezra.
Nervous for the last ep though. Hhhgnghhhhh I am very much stressed and I do not wish to be.
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how do u think Bill and Alden deal with fights? Like the two of them are in a fight.
oh difficult question aha
I mean my version of this ship is a very healing one, so it's not that fights don't happen but I don't see them being serious or sounding too hurtful.
So nothing like Mr Black and Mr White ahaha
Bill and Alden are opposites so they will squabble but no major insults or anything.
I feel like if Alden gets annoyed it's probably because Bill is being a bit lazy aha. I do feel like Bill does actually try hard to impress Alden but sometimes he still just wants a nap aha. Maybe Alden learns to chill a little.
Also it depends on how we see Alden's lore. I kind of do HC that he doesn't get a long with his wife but in a sad "she's horrible to him" kind of way. Just based off his dialogue. I feel like he had no backbone with her but Alden's relationship with Bill gave him more confidence so he doesn't feel so timid around Bill. Which might be a surprise to some as I know Bill can be very violent. But my take on Bill is that he was never allowed to be soft so an awful lot of his violence is a result of covering up who he really is. And he can be quite hostile to people who tease him/make him feel small. And his bullying seems to be a way to make himself feel better.
So basically I don't see him ever being really mean or violent to Alden especially with Alden being the only really good thing to happen to Bill. And I don't see Alden being mean to Bill about the army, or being soft etc.
When Bill talks about when he met Dutch he said Dutch saved him from a really bad time in his life and said Dutch gave him purpose. It actually makes me really sad listening to that dialogue as Bill just seems to give so much of himself to anyone who is nice to him, even if the nice stops after a while.
So I'd like to think that Bill would be similar towards Alden but the love doesn't just suddenly stop and this is partly what actually helps Bill to grow as a person.
I also had this HC that after a while of being with Alden, the gang members insults start to just roll off Bill's back. Like he doesn't care as much anymore now that he has self-worth. And they all think it's weird but maybe also tease him less as it's not as fun to not get a response.
I know this is an incredibly soft ship but I'm just very attached to the idea of two very different people helping each other to be the best version of themselves
But these are just my thoughts on it
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River's Thoughts after reading Flashback Again
oh my stars i don't think i can mentally recover from this book
Sophie doesn't understand that if she's in love with Fitz she can't be in love with Keefe and like on one hand i get it and also SOPHIE FOR THE LOVE OF THOR!
"We must not let anger make us overlook potential" is a sucky way to judge a judicial system. the function of judiciary systems is justice. Bish, where that justice for Alvar? Like, I don't want him dead, and I don't think that the way he was treated in this novel was okay, but also. Like, if you're gonna put him on trial, can we like, maybe pretend to be just? Idc that he's not the same person if this is justice let it be justice.
Luzia Vacker is so sus. Like, she just radiates untrustworthy. The entire book. There's never been a more obvious liar.
Alden's definitely a crappy parent. There's a lot of undertone in everything said about him, and as he fades into the background, it's almost like his kids mention things like "my dad would kill me if i did such and such a thing" more often. Idk. I just find it odd.
Exilium and the human world made Sophie a natural killer.
This book is everywhere what the hell is happening
Look, I've said it before and I'll say it again. Sophie does not want to be more than friends with Fitz. She literally refuses, constantly, to tell him that she likes him, because she's doesn't want their friendship to change. She likes being friends with him. Literally. The idea of a relationship is so dangerous, so scary to her, it's just straight up not comfortable. And I don't want that for her. I don't want her to have to feel like a relationship is difficult or something she wants to hide. I want her to be happy with who she winds up with. She's not gonna be happy with Fitz. At least, not happy enough to shout it from the rooftops and kiss him in front of everyone.
Ah! Sleep paralysis! Y'know! For kids!
Oh, no, that's just Sophie's echoes. I'm sorry. I forgot that this is fantasy, and fantasy doesn't let kids suffer from sleep paralysis. Hah.
Sophie and Fitz would be a better team if they agreed that friendship was where it's at. Not gonna lie.
Fitz with chronic heart issues. That's it, that's the thought. Idk guys i like the angst this could inspire.
Ah! Panic attacks! Y'know! For kids!
Literally, the only thing keeping Fitz's anger in check this entire book is the fact that if he gets angry he physically suffers and i just think it's kind of sad that this is where he is.
Okay but Alvar being Neverseen shifts the focus away from Alden. Anything weird relating to Everglen or the Vackers can always be traced back to Alvar, and Alden never gets put in the spotlight. That's all I'm saying.
Fitz. Has no friends. What happened. How come Sophie has like 10 friends, and Fitz has. One. And it's his girlfriend. How come we aren't talking about Fitz's protective and obsessive nature literally coming from how few friends he has and how alone in the world this kid really is at the end of the day. He's alienated himself from his family, he has one friend, and he's just. I don't know where I'm going with this. He's too relateable, that's all.
Silveny is offically less annoying than Ro!!!! Yay Silveny!!! Kudos to you!!!
Keefe is literally feeling awful constantly and he's desperately acting like he thinks he's the best it hurts me, guys. This is a coping mechanism. I do this.
Keefe Sencen also actually gives off intense Tony Stark character vibes in this novel. I don't know what's up with that. It's not good, though. I will say that.
Fitz made it extremely obvious about his family's stance on match status.
Keefe flinches whenever a telepath reaches for his head. I'm worried about my baby.
Sophie Foster loves Keefe Sencen so damn much. I can't handle it.
all these pages about the Vacker Legacy and I'm still thinking the Legacy is the entirety of the Neverseen and the eventual downfall of the council idk guys.
How did Gisela know that Alden was sending his kids to the forbidden cities. How did Gisela know that Alden was doing illegal things to find the moonlark. How. How did she know. I think I'm going to scream.
If Alden isn't Neverseen it's practically an affront to writing tbh.
Mr. Forkle habitually violates Sophie's privacy and no one talks about it and Sophie's used to it at this point, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with it.
The idea that the Neverseen's costumes are so complex baffles me. They just need a guster. One swift blast of air and bam. Every neverseen member's identity is known. Because. You could just. Blow the hoods off.
For a secret terrorist organization, the Black Swan is really incompetent. Like wtf.
Sophie being the only person Fitz trusts is not healthy. This is not a healthy relationship. You need to trust more than one person. You can't live like that. Fitz. Fitz.
Marella gets so offended that people don't talk to her but also she starts no conversations and never lets anyone visit so like. I feel like part of this is on her.
Sophie is building an immunity to a sedative. That sedative she's taking is meant to knock her out. There shouldn't be any sort of override that her body can reach. Why has it stopped working so effectively?!
Fitz can be really cruel. Fitz is really cruel. For very little reason, a lot of the time. This is a hurt kid. Why is no one like, checking on his mental state. This kid is going to fall apart. This kid is breaking to pieces. Someone needs to grab him and hold him together. Otherwise there won't be any Fitz left.
Tarina is a better bodyguard than Sandor and should have been Sophie's bodyguard from the beginning send tweet
Sophie knows how to regulate her body temperature really well, and has a special sense for manipulating heat. That's interesting. Especially considering how hard Forkle had to work to keep her from manifesting as a pyro.
Sympathizing with Fintan hours lets gooooo poor insane pyrokinetic i love him and he wants me dead
Fitz was. Way too chill. With committing murder. And everyone else. Was too chill. With the nearly murdering his brother thing. Like, he's a traumatized child, I get that. But also. Can we, like, i don't know. Get him psychiatric help?
Tam Song my beloved.
Tam Song without a G is just Tam Son and that's what he is to me. He is my son. I love him.
There's way too many jumped through hoops that are skipped over from Tam joining the Neverseen to protect his sister and then Sophie trying to register from the match. Just like there's too many missing pieces between when Alvar goes evil again and when Tam joins the Neverseen. This is kind of sloppy.
Also.
SOPHIE. YOU HAVE BIGGER CONCERNS. LEAVE THE MATCH THING. PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THE STARS.
Ah, no, she didn't.
Breeding sapient species! Y'know! For kids!
Thank God Sophie Foster is unmatchable I think i'd lose my mind if she wasn't.
#this book was a dystopian hellscape <3#kotlc#kotlc flashback#kotlc keefe#keefe sencen#kotlc sophie#sophie foster#kotlc fitz#fitz vacker#kotlc thoughts#river re-reads kotlc#kotlc tam#tam song#kotlc linh#linh song#marella redek#kotlc marella
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the character everyone gets wrong
a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom
screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr
what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?
worst discord server and why
which ship fans are the most annoying?
what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?
common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about
worst part of canon
worst part of fanon
number of fandom-related words you've filtered
the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them
worst blorboficiation
that one thing you see in fics all the time
that one thing you see in fanart all the time
you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)
there should be more of this type of fic/art
it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...
you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...
part of canon you found tedious or boring
part of canon you think is overhyped
your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores
ship you've unwillingly come around to
topic that brings up the most rancid discourse
common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing
Answer all of em!!!!
(For KOTLC or any fandom that you really wanna do)
LMAO ok… if you insist ☝️ (dashes are for questions i’ve already answered)
1. -
2. still no comment on this one.
3. idk i can’t rlly remember any awful takes off the top of my head LMAO. haven’t even been here that long so
4. bold of you to assume i remember anyone i block
5. i don’t use rlly discord (wow these answers are so exciting)
6. sokeefe for SURE and i don’t think anyone can disagree with me on this
7. already answered but i need to say it again. KEEFE. maybe i’d like him a bit more if some people didn’t make literally EVERYTHING about him (also if people stopped commenting “this looks like keefe” on my art)
8. once again using this as an opportunity to spread my short haired fintan propaganda. that guy would not be able to maintain long hair. he’d accidentally burn it off or something. also dex is not a cinnamon roll. marella is bisexual, not a lesbian. king dimitar is irrelevant to me and the bit is sometimes annoying. alden is not abusive. fitz is not manipulative. keefe is not mature enough for a relationship with sophie. (+ princess purryfins is the size of a goldfish, not a full-sized cat! vertina is literally only a head, she does not have a body!)
9. -
10. sokeefe vs sophitz. like we’re not getting anywhere by arguing about this why don’t we all just take a deep breath and calm down a bit
actually i guess that’s more the fandom itself ummm idrk i hate how some of y’all demonize characters for the stupidest reasons (just being silly btw don’t take any of this too seriously)
11. -
12. -
13. dex honestly. tam too but personally i’ve seen it happen with dex wayyy more
14. i don’t read fics 😜👍 can’t ever find ones that sound interesting
15. people forgetting to draw the registry pendants 😢 guys give them back their pretty little necklaces
16. -
17. -
18. -
19. honestly no idea… i’ll get back to this one
20. again, the love triangle. also pretty much all of stellarlune LMAO. i swear most of that book was just them talking about stuff they were going to do instead of actually doing it 💀 also shannon was pushing the kenric / oralie agenda way too hard in that book tbh like guys kenric is dead literally nothing can come out of this. it’s irrelevant and i don’t care!!!
21. keefe 😊👍 again. does not deserve all that hype
22. fintan on the other hand….. also the peace summit scene is under appreciated it’s so funny (as well as every other fintan scene tbh)
23. gonna be so real back in 2019/2020 i was a hardcore believer of aroace fintan and i hated pretty much every fintan ship so. old me would be horrified to know what my current favorite ship is. (still basically hate every other fintan ship tho LMAO)
24. once again sokeefe vs sophitz lmao 💀 or honestly just fitz vs keefe. we do not need to be doing this guys.
25. “dex on the cover!” “dex needs more page time!” WRONG! we need more marella page time. we need another marella cover!! we need more fintan page time!!!!!!!!!
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save yourself tonight
Once again I'm a day late but shh. We'll ignore that. Anyway, here's my fun little fic for @tiertice-week-2023 day 3: AU.
@gay-otlc @cogaytes y'all get tagged for all my tiertice bullshit
Summary: In an alternate universe, Tiergan is there when Alden and Quinlin come to arrest Prentice. Desperate to save his lover, Tiergan throws himself into the fire instead.
Ao3
“It was me.”
The room was pin-drop silent, and Quinlin and Alden shared an indecipherable look. Slowly, Tiergan stepped in front of Prentice, holding Alden’s gaze all the while.
“What?” Quinlin asked after a moment. “Look, Sir Tierg—”
“Don’t call me that,” he snapped.
Quinlin huffed. “Tiergan, then. We’re not here for you.”
“You could be,” Tiergan replied, and he could almost feel Prentice’s eyes boring into his back. “If I said that I was secretly a rebel sympathizer, and that I had stolen, classified Council documents sitting in my office, you’d have no choice but to take me instead.”
“We’re perfectly capable of arresting both of you,” Alden replied coolly. “I’d advise you to watch your words, Sir Tiergan, given the severity of these charges.”
“You have no evidence but some hunches and a handful of odd—but not incriminating—registry records.” Tiergan said. “Your accusations are unfounded.”
Alden’s carefully neutral expression twitched slightly, and Tiergan allowed himself a smidgen of satisfaction at having annoyed Alden Vacker enough to break his emotionless facade. “I’d argue that we have more than enough evidence to arrest the both of you, now. But I’m feeling generous, and I’d rather not do so today.”
“Generous?” Tiergan scoffed. “You’re ripping a man away from his family, his wife, his son. I’d hardly call that generous.”
Quinlin clicked his tongue. “There are always consequences for those that break the law, regardless of their familial relations.”
Tiergan opened his mouth to speak, but stopped as Prentice laid a cool hand on his shoulder and stepped forward. “Gentlemen,” he said, “I’m afraid there’s been a few misunderstandings, here.”
“On the contrary, Mr. Endal, I think this situation is quite simple. We only have a few questions to ask you, and after that—”
“He’s innocent,” Tiergan cut in. “Don’t drag him into this.”
Tiergan, what the hell are you doing? Prentice’s voice appeared in his mind.
I’m doing what’s right. What I deserve, and you do, too.
Prentice let out a sigh. This is part of my job, Tiergan, you know that. I’m the Keeper.
Exactly, which is why you should be out here, free, with Cyrah and Wylie and protecting our secrets. All I am is another spy. Our world can survive without me.
Tiergan–
“I confess to the crime of treason and rebel sympathies,” Tiergan blurted out.
Both Quinlin and Alden froze in their tracks and locked eyes, no doubt sharing a matching telepathic conversation to his and Prentice’s. “I have spent my life actively working to undermine the Council and any institutions over which they preside. I am also guilty of having intentionally altered registry records of myself and others, which you will find to be the reason behind the oddities in Prentice’s records.”
“Are you crazy?” Prentice hissed, and Tiergan made his best attempt at an overdramatic sigh.
“My love,” he said, turning and grabbing Prentice’s hands. Alden sucked in a breath at the words. “I apologize for betraying you.”
“What–”
Tiergan had read enough romance novels in his life to know how this situation should go, how he should go about convincing Quinlin and Alden that Prentice was simply an innocent, deceived lover, unaware of his partner’s treasonous actions. If Tiergan could seem dramatic and devastated enough, the Cognates might actually believe that he felt guilty over almost framing his lover.
Plus, Tiergan had more than enough experience painting himself to be someone he wasn’t.
He forced tears to his eyes—which, unsurprisingly, wasn’t particularly difficult—and threw his arms around Prentice, pulling him into what seemed from the outside to be a mournful hug between hurt lovers. Instead, he used it to lean next to Prentice’s ear and whisper, “I’m sorry.”
“What the hell are you doing? They came for me, because of my mistakes—”
“They came to find a Black Swan operative. And they did. Me. I’m just one person, Prentice, I’m nothing unique to this cause, but you? You’re our Keeper, our light, our most dangerous weapon.” Tiergan paused, then added. “Go live a happy life, love. You deserve it.”
Alden cleared his throat, and the two broke apart. “Sir Tiergan,” he began, and Tiergan wanted to slap him just for the name. “I’ll admit, this new information certainly alters our hypotheses. In any case, if you truly are confessing to this…long list of crimes, it will certainly warrant a Tribunal.”
Tiergan scoffed. “Well, I’m sure you’d be overjoyed to see me Exiled.”
Alden shifted uncomfortably, and Quinlin, ever the knight in shining armour, jumped to his rescue. “Watch your words, Mr. Alenefar. Your apparent protection of Mr. Endal is certainly noble, but I don’t think you’ve quite considered the severity of the consequences to come.”
“Prentice doesn’t need me to protect him from shit,” Tiergan snapped. “I’ve told you what you wanted to know, so you can either fuck off right now or drag me with you in chains. And, trust me, I’m well aware of the consequences.”
Prentice frowned. “Tiergan...”
But Alden stepped forward and locked the magisidian handcuffs around Tiergan’s wrists, and he didn’t resist. There was no point in resistance; what was done had been done, what was said had been said, and now Tiergan only had to pay the price.
A Tribunal. A mind break. Exile.
An awfully high price to keep Prentice free, but Tiergan would never let Wylie and Cyrah be abandoned because of his and Prentice’s foolish attempts at fairness in the Lost Cities. Yes, Tiergan was willing to die for an impossible ideal, and that was fine—he had almost nothing to keep him from rashness, nothing except Prentice. But Prentice? Prentice had everything to lose. He had status, a wife, a son—and neither Cyrah nor Wylie deserved to be collateral damage from his and Tiergan’s idiocy.
“I’m sorry, love,” Tiergan said, as the Cognates dragged him away. “I’m so sorry.”
But Prentice could only stare back in shocked, betrayed silence.
#hi yall im. tired. so here have a fic#im counting it as an alternate universe because it is technically canon divergence but on thin fuckin ice#i think as this week goes on my fics are going to become stranger and stranger#tiertice#tiertice week 2023#august's writing!#<- hmm. i really do need to remove that exclamation point (i literally said this a year ago and still havent done it)
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Alrighty! So I mulled over what to do with the poll results, as Daemons and Fae tied. So I decided that since there are less Daemons to cover, I'd go ahead and plaster up some busts of them and give little blurbs about them.
So here we go! The main Daemons currently on Sanctus.
This is Alden, a Daemon who specializes in making potions and monsters who are 'slimes' as a base. Alden is confident in both his ability to collect the fear the monsters harvest, as well as his ability to be fashionable and handsome. He prides in his clothing, which makes it rather annoying when he has leftover mindless slimes getting all over everything in his carriage home.
His most prized monsters are those he dubs 'Princes', since the purpose of those monsters is to not only cause mindless mayhem and destruction, but to take over the continent he has staked claim on. He tends to call the Princes his sons, as unlike his more disposable monsters, he generally had to spend time raising them to a certain extent to be who they are today. Not all of his 'sons' are obedient however, and that is something that Alden is still struggling to come to terms with...
Estro is an elder Daemon who creates monsters through magical music compositions. While Daemons like Alden try not to destroy the beings they harvest fear from, Estro has no such qualms. His compositions are usually unnerving, eerie, leading to the creation of the types of monsters you'd only see in your nightmares. He believes that Alden and Cavaan are both wasting their time trying 'new-fangled' methods of collecting the emotions needed to feed their magic, but he also doesn't try too hard to stop them from doing what they want.
Cavaan is closer to Alden's age, and is a Daemon who actually prefers to tinker with technology rather than mess with potions or straight up magic. His method of collection high-energy emotions is via a club he runs, often enticing humans to return to have as much fun and revelry as possible. He also considers himself a bit of a ladies' man, loving to flirt with any femmes he comes across.
Also, he has a bit of a strange relationship with Alden, who sometimes tries to annoy him while he's working. Alden never really takes Cavaan's threats seriously, despite Cavaan being far larger and physically stronger than Alden is.
An exiled former member of the Daemon Council, Mr. Lawrence now owns the Snap Dragon Club in Sanctus, though he allows Piro to run it in his absence. He spends most of his time scouring Sanctus for information on natives, how they treat newcomers and strangers, and figuring out the best way to harvest high-energy emotions. The Snap Dragon Club is his most recent attempt to prove that fear doesn't have to be the primary energy source, harvesting customers' happiness in exchange for good food and company.
It is rumored that Mr. Lawrence might've picked up some companionship amongst his travels through Sanctus, though that has yet to be confirmed.
Finally, the latest addition is Ferre. He's more of a vagabond that tends to travel between Sanctus and the Daemon Realm far more often than any of the other Daemons previously mentions. He's also the relative youngest amongst them. He prescribes to Mr. Lawrence's methods, mostly cause he finds the idea of making people happy to maintain power more appealing than causing any sort of pain or strife like Alden or Estro does. Sometimes he stops by Cavaan's, blending in seamlessly into the clubbing scene do to his easy-going nature. Generally he's just here for a good time, and he thinks Sanctus may be the best place to look for it... assuming the Daemon Council doesn't try to ruin it.
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Aaand that's all of them! Feel free to let me know what you think, or ask questions about them!
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My opinion on each kotlc book.
These are my personal opinions on each book so yeah if you dont agree cool I really don't care. I'm working on rereading the series so i show a better opinion on the books i havent read for awhile. Tw: Spoilers.
•Book one- Kotlc
Its good it's the most page time Dex has, but couldn't the black swan leave a note or something being like hey we're not the bad guys. Also why did forkle leave Sophie and Dex alone with no way to get back to the Lost Cities. I feel bad for sophie too because in this book fitz comes in and is like "Yeahhh.... so your an elf and can't live with humans. Oh also you know all the stuff the humans taught you... yeah it's wrong."
•Book 2- Exile
Again another good one except dex doesn't have nearly enough page time. Silveny is the best animal in the series I also think this is the first book that Iggy gets a makeover. Also Keefe getting more page time I love, the sokeefe moments. And of course the neverseen makes an appearance. And Sophie almost being killed by limbium. And brant being a psycho. And Sophie seeing her wanderling.
•Book 3- Everblaze
The saddest so far with the best councilor being killed. But he was trying to protect Sophie and Alden and fitz. Oh yeah and Alden's mind being broken and fitz being a bitch and lashing out at everyone. Rip Kenric
•Book 4- Neverseen
This book contains a bunch of sofitz. This when I was battling shipping sokeefe and sofitz which lasted until book 8. Loved calla and rip her
•Book 5- Lodestar
Took me the longest because of Keefe joining the neverseen. Poor Sophie. And Keefe being dumb was mainly in this.
•Book 6- nightfall
YAY SOPHIES PARENTS ARE ALIVE. This is the most page time Amy's gotten. It's not bad but yeah.
Book 7- flashback
Sofitz gets together kinda annoying but I had hight expectations for this ship but it kinda sunk quickly. They about kiss then sliveny goes into labor (Ty silveny for breaking that kiss before it could happen) The vackers get exposed. And Sophie and fitz get stuck in the healing center for a month and sokeefe moments are the best. BUT SOPHIE BEING UNMATCHABLE
Book 8- legacy
This is my favorite book so far (Tho 8.5 is close) SOFITZ BREAKS UP. Poor Sophie having to deal with Fitz temper. Glad they did. Sofitz was doomed from the start. And poor Keefe omg I shed the most tears over this book. And poor Keefe and his toxic mom being the mf she is. But the sokeefe is cute. Even though Sophie is unmatchable FITZ WASNT THERE he offered to help her find her parents. Also I'm not that surprised that orlie isn't Sophie's mom. I've suspected for awhile.
Book 8.5- Unlocked
I like the background we get for the characters. Keefes stuff is the best. It's also the most page time Dex has gotten in while. I like how in novella we get Sophie and keefes perspective. It made if more enjoyable. Keefes file is just hilarious. The art was gorgeous and I loved how some ot the pages looked like actual writing.
Book 9- Stellarlune
Alright this book was good arguable better then 8.5 and 8. I loved the kiss in chapter 42 and jealous fitz was great. I didn't like everyone's attitude at all. (I wrote an entire post on that) but ro got a bunch of page time and so did dex so that was great. Kenric gets the most page time he's had ever. (Not him being mentioned) and same with Oralie. I don't understand why Sophie hates her so much she does have some valid points but not many. I had such expectations for the kiss and it met them perfectly. Overall fitz handled things pretty well so yeah. Keefe and Sophie flirting yes please. OMFG THE CLIFFHANGER. I can't wait to see what happens 10.
#kotlc spoilers#kotlc stellarlune#keeper of the lost cities stellarlune#stellarlune spoilers#my opinion#keeper of the lost cities#nightfall#Legacy#Unlocked#lodestar#Exile#everblaze#Sokeefe#Sofitz#I was bored#Idk what eles I should tag this
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Day 3. Favorite Season: Season Seven? I’m not sure
Day 4. Least Favorite Season: Season Six (I stopped watching it years ago after Negan came on the scene, then I briefly watched up until S7 Ep13, then went back to not watching it) Definitely Season Six :(
Day 5. Least Favorite Female Character: hmmmmm, that’s actually hard.... but I honestly don’t like Judith, but then there’s also Alpha, but I also don’t really like what they’ve done with Maggie’s character... it’s honestly a toss up
Day 6. Least Favorite Male Character: I find the ‘redemption’ story of Negan really idiotic and not very plausible, and he annoys me so much, but I’d also have to say Simon, also Jared, but also Sam Anderson was pretty damn annoying too, though I understand him more, and he’s a kid, so I gotta say Simon or Jared.
Day 7. Top Three Saddest Deaths:
Sasha, Enid, and Sophia or Noah, but to be honest, the whole show has so many sad deaths I can’t really pick properly (Benjamin’s was pretty sad too and then there’s so many others) :(
Day 8. Character that annoys you: Eugene Porter I’m looking at you, also Father Gabe and Negan, also Beta and Alpha, also Jared just go get attacked by a walker already :/
Day 9. Partner of Choice: Benjamin or Enid (Though I don’t know if this is a relationship question or a who would you like to partner up with in the apocalypse) so Benjamin, Enid, Carl, Tara, Jesus, Lydia or Henry — maybe Daryl.
Day 10. A character you can relate to:
Henry Sutton, Benjamin Sutton, Carl Grimes, Tara Chambler, Lydia and Enid Rhee. (I relate to all of them and couldn’t choose.)
Day 11. Season 1. or Season 9: Season 1. definitely because Negan isn’t there (if I have to see one more scene where he ‘bonds’ with Lydia or Judith. Just cause he is nice to them and ‘redeems’ himself, doesn’t mean that all the bad he did and how he was, doesn’t just get excused.) so definitely Season 1.
Day 12. Favorite Season Premier: Season 7.
Day 13. Favorite Season Finale: I have no clue
Day 14. A Character You’d Date:
BENJAMIN SUTTON or ENID RHEE (maybe Tara Chambler or possibly Alden Sutton or Henry Sutton)
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Guess what. Guess what. Look at this shit. I finished my first fucking multi-chapter fic. Go comment if you want. Inflate my ego. I am having a party about this.
people I’m gonna annoy about this - @gay-otlc @xanadaus @aurenflaring
You can also read it below the cut my lovelies
Biana stared in the mirror, and for the first time, ae almost felt like ae recognized the person staring back.
Ae had left aer hair down, and wore a purple dress, deciding against the teal one ae had picked out with aer friends. This one was simpler, with a strapless top and poofy sleeves, and a long dress that almost made it look like ae was about to frolic through a flower field.
Ae twisted aer bracelet nervously, and exhaled, before heading down the stairs, and into the foyer. Aer mother stood, beaming as Biana emerged at the top of the stairs.
“You look wonderful.” she said, and Biana smiled.
“Thanks.” Biana said, trying aer very best not to trip over aer own two feet. It was dark already, and the crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling, casting fractured light onto the marble floor. “Where’s Fitz?” ae asked.
“He left with Keefe. They had dinner reservations before the dance.” Della said, and Biana nodded.
“I hope they have fun.” ae said, and aer mother nodded.
“I’m glad they’ve stayed such close friends.” Della said, and Biana nodded sagely.
Biana’s father emerged from his study, and examined aer, teal eyes cold and critical. “I thought you were wearing the teal dress.” was all he said, and Biana fought the urge to crawl out of aer skin.
“I changed my mind.” ae said, meeting his gaze.
“Hm.” he glanced at his watch. “I take it you’re bringing a date?” he asked, looking expectantly at aer.
“I-“ Biana started
(Yes I am and she’s wonderful and I’ll be dammed if I don’t try my very best to not fuck it up.)
“Darling let the girl breathe-“ Della started, but Alden interrupted her.
“It’s proper for a young girl to have a partner. What will people think if you keep showing up to dances alone?”
(If they care, that sounds like a them problem)
Biana stiffened. “If you care so much, then I’m sure you’ll be happy to know I do have a date.” ae said, heart suddenly thudding.
(Ae was sick of hiding. Fucking sick of lying and breaking aer back to bend to whatever expectations people had of her.)
Aer father raised an eyebrow. “Do I know this young man?” he asked, which was code for “is this young man someone I would like our family to be associated with?”
(Sometimes biana wanted to yell at him that no one cared. That he was acting worse then aer friends obsessing over every little detail.)
“No you don’t know her.” Biana said, crossing aer arms.
Alden flushed a little, tilting his neck like he was trying to see aer more clearly. “Biana, I’m not sure I understand.”
(Code for: “you better change your story real quick or shits gonna go down”)
“Yeah. Her name’s Sophie, I’m really excited to go to the dance with her.” Biana said, straightening. Daring him to respond.
“Biana Amberly Vacker, I don’t know what you take me for but I will not be taken for a fool.” Alden said, his voice dangerously low.
“I’m not joking dad. And this isn’t some rebellious phase.”
Aer father’s face turned a deeper shade of red, and Della rested her hand on his shoulder. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but no daughter of mine-”
“Well I don’t want to be your daughter. Maybe I’m not a fucking daughter at all.” Biana said bitterly.
Before aer father could respond to that, the doorbell rang. “Well I’ll be off. Good talk.”
Ae ran out the front door before he could reply to that, giddy and breathless.
Sophie stood there, and Biana froze, momentarily stunned.
Sophie was wearing a red suit, black button up, and a bow tie.
“Wow uh.. you look.” Biana paused. “Amazing. You look amazing.”
Sophie grinned. “You too.” she offered her hand, and Biana took it, stomach doing flips.
The two of them walked to Sophie’s battered Jeep, and Biana hopped in the passenger seat.
The car made a loud rumbling noise, and lurched forward, causing Biana to squeak.
Sophie glanced at aer, and Biana flushed. “Not a word. Not a word.”
Sophie laughed. “Wasn’t gonna say anything.”
“Uh huh. Sure you weren’t”
“I wasn’t!” Sophie said, and Biana leaned back.
The two of them arrived at the dance fashionably late, after being distracted by ice cream from the creamery in town.
They walked through the parking lot, and Biana leaned over to Sophie. “You have ice cream on your chin.”
“Do I?” Sophie asked, and Biana nodded, dabbing at it with aer sleeve.
“There you go.” ae said, and Sophie grinned. “Now shall we?” ae asked, holding out aer arm.
Sophie took it, and the two of them made their way into the crowded gym.
The music was so loud that the old gym seemed to shake with each note.
Sophie glanced around, and back at Biana.
She said something, but was drowned out by the music. Biana went to reply, but someone wrapped their arms around aer.
“Biana!” Biana spun around to see Kayla and Morgan standing there grinning. “You made it!” Kayla said, grabbing Biana’s arm. “Come one we’re over here,”
Biana started to protest, but the two of them escorted aer away from where ae and Sophie had been standing.
Ae shot an apologetic look at Sophie, who looked kind of lost.
As soon as they slowed, Biana pulled aer arms away from them. “What the hell?” ae asked.
“What?” Morgan asked, looking confused.
“I was doing something.” Biana said, crossing aer arms. “I was talking to Sophie.”
Kayla raised her eyebrows. “Why? It’s not like you’re friends with her or anything.”
“So what if I am?” Biana asked. “Last I checked you don’t choose my friends.”
“Listen, we’re not choosing your friends. We’re just saying that Sophia is a bit odd. We know what type of people you’re friends with, and I’m worried for you. She’s probably just using you.”
Biana flushed at that. “And you’re not? Whatever. I’m done. Goodbye.” ae turned on aer heel, and stormed off.
Biana shoved through the crowd, scanning the room for Sophie, but the blonde girl was nowhere to be seen.
“Guess who?” Someone asked, covering Biana’s eyes, and ae jumped. “It’s Mason!” he said, and rested his hands on aer shoulders as ae turned around.
“Please let go of my shoulders.” Biana said, any false politeness gone.
Mason pouted at that, briefly letting go. “What’s wrong Ana? I’ve been waiting for you. I thought we were going to dance.”
“I don’t- I never agreed to that Mason.”
He grabbed her hand. “If it’s something I said, I-“
“No! Let go of me!” Biana said, pulling away.
“Listen if you’re nervous I get it. I’d be nervous if I had to be my girlfriend. I mean how do you deal with my awesomeness?”
Biana froze at that. “I- What?”
“Yeah, I was hoping to ask you to be my girlfriend. I meant it to be after the dance, but now’s fine.” Mason said, pulling aer closer. “Biana Vacker, will you be my girlfriend?”
Ae felt the pit in her stomach drop, and she stiffened. “Mason…”
“Is that a yes?” he asked, stupidly hopeful, and suddenly something inside aer broke.
Ae shoved him back, and he stumble backwards into the punch bowl. The pink fruit punch spilled to the floor, and he glanced up, confused.
“No. I’ve said no asshole, you’ve just been too far up your own ass to hear me!” Biana said, not caring who heard. “Has it occurred to you for a second that maybe not everyone loves you? I’m sorry Mason, but I’m not interested. Get over yourself already”
Before anyone could react, Biana shoved through the small crowd that had gathered, and out of the gym.
The cool night air was a welcome change from the heat of the gym, and ae started walking.
As ae walked, the events of the night hit aer. For once in aer life, ae had no clue what tomorrow would look like. What would happen next? Who would ae be?
The uncertainty crept in, and ae found herself walking to the park, not sure where to go. Ae could text Keefe for a ride, but ae wasn’t sure what would happen when ae got home. ae wasn’t sure what would happen at all.
Ae sat in the gazebo, and stared up at the sky through the wooden ceiling, letting the breeze cool aer down. The stars poked out from the clouds, and Biana rubbed aer arms, cold.
“Biana?”
Biana turned to see Sophie, awkwardly standing under the lamp. She looked up at Biana, tilting her head. “Are you ok?”
Biana opened aer mouth, before shaking aer head. “Not really.” she said, voice quiet.
“Can I come sit with you?” Sophie asked, and Biana nodded, making space on the bench.
The night was quiet aside from the crickets, and it was dark in the gazebo.
“What’s up?” Sophie asked, turning to face Biana. “I heard a commotion, but wasn’t close enough. Are you ok?”
Biana nodded. “It was just Mason. For some reason he wasn’t getting the signal that I was decidedly not into him. And then I made a scene.”
Sophie crinkled her eyebrows together. “Well, I’m sure he deserved it. He doesn’t act like he can see much beyond his own inflated ego.”
Biana laughed at that, relaxing a little. “I told him he had his head stuck up his ass. And then I shoved him into the punch bowl.”
Sophie gasped. “You did not!”
“I did.” Biana said sheepishly.
“Well at least he got the signal now?” Sophie asked.
“I hope so.” Biana said, and the conversation lulled into a silence.
The night didn’t seem as cold now, at least not with Sophie next to aer. Biana suddenly felt nervous, heat rising in aer cheeks.
“Thanks for coming after me.” ae said, and Sophie nodded.
“Of course. I’d be a horrible date to not. Plus, I wanted to make sure you were ok.” Sophie said, glancing away.
“I’m better now.” Biana said, and it was true. With Sophie by aer side, Biana could believe things might go ok. One day.
Ae leaned on Sophie’s shoulder, scooching closer to her. “Is this ok?” ae asked, and Sophie nodded. Biana waited a beat before talking again. “I’m glad I met you Sophie.” ae said, glancing up at the girl. “You’re a good person.”
“You are too.” Sophie said. “And I know you said you’re not, but you are. People aren’t perfect all the time, but you care. You try to be better. Truly awful people don’t sit around worrying they’re a bad person.”
Biana laughed at that, before a thought struck aer. “Oh my god.”
Sophie looked slightly panicked. “Oh no. What’s wrong?”
Biana laughed, and Sophie loosened. “It’s nothing bad! I was just thinking how we went to a dance together, and never actually danced.”
“Ah. Well.. better late than never.” Sophie stood, and held out her hand. “May I have this dance?”
Biana nodded, taking it. “I’d love to.” ae said, and the two of them started dancing together. Awkwardly at first, but eventually they fell into an off rhythm dance, moving around the gazebo.
There wasn’t music, but in Biana’s opinion that made it all the more fun.
Eventually the two of them dissolved into laughter, sitting together on the bench again.
“You know this reminds me of those cheesy high school movies.” Sophie said absentmindedly, stealing a look at Biana. “Where the main couple has a long romantic scene, after all the drama, and they eventually share a kiss that is miraculously not awkward in the rain, because they’re too fucking stupid to bring an umbrella.” She immediately flushed, looking away.
Biana flushed as well, butterflies flipping in aer stomach. “Well too bad it isn’t raining.” ae said, almost instantly regretting it.
Sophie seemed surprised, and turned to face Biana. “Well we never did fit into boxes anyway.” she said, taking Biana’s hand.
Biana was so glad it was too dark to see that ae’d gotten red as a tomato. “... well could I?” ae asked, leaning in.
Sophie nodded. “Of course.” she said quietly.
Biana leaned in, and kissed Sophie.
Nothing too exciting happened, no fireworks flew into the sky, no dramatic music played, but it was enough. It most definitely had its share of awkwardness, and was no more than a small peck on the lips.
Biana blinked, feeling as if someone had doused aer in cold water. “I- wow.” was all ae could say, and Sophie grinned sheepishly.
“Definitely not a movie kiss.” Sophie said, grinning at Biana.
“No, better.” Biana said, grabbing Sophie’s hand. “Now I hate to break up the moment or whatever but I’m cold and I was wondering if you wanted to find somewhere warmer.”
“Well we could go watch a movie at my house? That’s something heterosexual movie couples do, right?”
“Would your parents be ok with that?” Biana asked.
“Totally. Now come on. I don’t want you to freeze to death.” Sophie took Biana’s hand, and together the two of them walked into the night.
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Happy that you open for requests 😊
I would like 33 and 41 with my bae Alden Parker 🥰
Hey anon, I really hope you won't be disappointed 🥹 love to you ❤️
Warnings: annoying ex, jealousy, things get slightly 🔥 towards the end
33. Are you jealous?
41. You're lucky you're hot
Worth It ~ Alden Parker
Alden Parker knows his job is highly demanded, taking so much of his time it can cause issues in a relationship. With his ex-wife, it worked well sense they worked together, but since then, it was always a big problem with women he dated - among other things.
When you two got together, he was very forward about it. Saying he'd do his best, but the job could make him miss stuff, being away for a bit, not being home at regular hours. But you were okay with it, saying that you were convinced he was worth it. And things have been working for a couple of years since.
There has been ups and down, as in every relationship. But overall, you always manage to talk and resolve whatever issue there is. Alden really learned the meaning and importance of communication in a relationship with you, and he was very thankful for it.
It turned out that Alden was the one having issues with how much his job takes. You've had a tight group of friends for years, with whom you spent most of your free time. And Alden stopped counting how many times you told him about the time you had with them, making him feel left out.
There was women and men in your group of friends. Some were in relationships, even married with kids and others were singles. What bothered Alden was that one of those guys was actually your ex. You gave it a try a few years ago, and it lasted a certain among of time before you both realized you were better as friends. At least, that's what you thought and told Alden, but the first time he met your group of friends and so your ex, he had this gut feeling; your ex was not over you.
On a Friday night, it was one of your friends' birthday, and y'all planned on meeting at your usual bar. Alden has been gone for a few days at sea, and you hadn't heard about it. It was the first time, but you really didn't like this part of the job. The man you love being somewhere in the middle of the ocean, not knowing how he's doing, if he's okay, when he's coming back... Those days he's gone are rough, and you usually turn to your friends more than normally. You never told Alden how you feel when he's away because you didn't want him to feel more guilty than he already is. You know he's afraid his job is going to push you away and you'd never want him to believe that he's right. Because you are not going anywhere, as you love this man more than you ever loved anyone before.
The celebration was going very well. Everyone could make it, your friend Mel has been showered with love and gifts, and the alcohol was flowing. You had a few drinks in, and alcohol gets you to be quite touchy. You just go to your friends, kissing their cheeks, hugging them, leaning on them. Luckily, they were used to it after several years, and they would just accept it. At some point, you reached to your ex, giving him a big sloppy kiss on the cheek and rested your head on his shoulder. "You're drunk." He laughed.
"Mhm, not yet."
"Too bad. The first time we slept together was after at Mel's birthday, both quite drunk."
"I've got a boyfriend." You said, sternly.
"I had a girlfriend back then!" He exclaimed.
"I love my Alden."
"Yeah, well. Where is he tonight?"
"Bite me."
You started to walk away but he grabbed your waist immediately, bringing your body against his. He leaned into your neck, and gently bit. You laughed out loud, trying to pull him away, "get off me you vampire!" You shouted.
You didn't know how long after someone pull you away and it was only after a moment, that you looked at this someone. Alden was holding you against him, staring at your ex as if he could kill him with his eyes. "Alden, baby! You're back!" You practically jumped into his arms, holding him tight and kissing his cheeks and neck. Even with the alcohol, you noticed how tensed he was, barely engaging in the embrace. You started to pout like a child. "Don't do that, please." He softly said.
"I missed you. Hug and kiss me."
He sighed before finally returning the hug. He held you extremely tight but you loved every second of it. "I missed you too," he said, looking at you. He leaned in to kiss you and the kiss was practically a show for everyone looking. All teeth and tongues, you even felt Alden's hands grabbing your ass.
"Get a room!" You heard one of your friends shouting. You flipped them off and kept kissing your man until you were out of breath.
You had a few more drinks after Alden's arrival, while he stayed sober so he could drive the both of you home. You stayed glue to him the entire time, which got your friends to tell you to let him go, that he was not going to fly away. "He is! He always is and I want him to stay on the land."
"Alden, seriously, stop leaving. I'm tired of having her crash at my place cause she misses you." Your other friend said.
"I'll do my best." He answered, bringing you closer to him that you were already were.
Alden figured it was time to leave when you started to sleep on his shoulder. He warned a few of your friends that he was taking you home, seeing how your ex was staring from a corner of the bar. He practically carried you to his car, as you were mumbling some non sense. You slept through the ride and he let you.
Technically, you and Alden were still living separately but in practice, you had been staying at his place for months, even when he was away. He loved coming back to his apartment, seeing that it has been lived in, smelling your scent everywhere, seeing your favorite blanket on his couch, a couple of books laying around, the bed unmade because you don't understand the point of making it. He carried you to the bedroom, sitting you on the bed. You were a bit more awake, and was looking up to him with a smile. "I want you." You said, making him chuckling.
"I want you too," he kissed your forehead. "But let's sleep first, okay?"
"Why?" You whined, trying to undo his buttons.
"Because you've had quite a few drinks and you're obviously tired."
"Never tired for you." You stroked his beard and hair.
"It'll be worth the wait, darling."
He helped you out of your dress and in one of his t-shirts. He made you drink some water before allowing you to fall asleep.
In the morning, you woke to your head pounding and your stomach feeling weak but also Alden's arm around you, his body pressed against yours and his soft breath on your neck. You enjoyed this for a long moment, until the urge to come to the bathroom was too much. You freshened up, brushed your teeth, took some water and aspirin before going back to bed. Alden was awake then. "I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to wake you." You softly said, snuggling back against him.
"No worries. I struggle to sleep when I don't feel you."
"You and me both." You admitted.
"You didn't sleep here while I was gone, did you?" He asked.
You immediately leaned on your elbow, allowing you to face him. "How--?"
"Why didn't you tell me it--" he stopped unexpectedly. He was clearly staring on your neck, and his face turned more sweet and soft to angry.
"What?" You asked, touching your neck as if you'd feel something.
"Go look in a mirror."
You did and it took you a moment to remember what had happened. You immediately jumped back on the bed, sitting on top of Alden, and apologizing profusely. He let you kissing his face and neck but didn't engage. "I hate him."
"He was just fooling around--"
"No, he wasn't. He did it on purpose, probably hoping it would get us to have a fight."
"Me and him, it's in the past, Den. We're just friends."
"To you."
"Are you jealous?" Alden had never truly shown jealousy before and seeing how angry and protective he could get, did things to you.
"This is beyond jealousy at this point. He's clearly still into you and it's upsetting that you're not seeing it or refusing to see it."
You sighed, laying down on top of him. "Maybe you're right. I just don't want to lose my friend."
He wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight against his chest. "I know. But imagine I wouldn't have seen what happened, how do you think I'd have reacted to that mark on your neck?"
You stayed silent for a moment, imagining just that and then imagining if it was the other way around. You completely understood Alden's point of view and maybe he wasn't wrong about your ex.
"I'll do what I have to do."
You grabbed his face to kiss him. Clearly, you were looking for something and Alden knew that, so to annoy you, he barely responded to the kisses. "Aldeeeen!" You whined, touching his torse, kissing his neck, moving your hips against him.
"Yes?" He said, innocently.
"Making love to me." You kissed him. He was a bit more into it, his self control slowly melting away.
"You have another man's mark on you."
You growled at that, as you sat up on him. Under his stare, you got rid of the t-shirt, your bare breasts greeting him. His hands immediately went from your stomach to your tits. "I'm yours," you whispered, looking him deep in the eyes. "Mark me as such."
"Fuck! You're lucky you're hot." He sat up too, hungrily kissing you.
#ncis#alden parker#alden parker imagine#alden parker fanfic#ncis fanfiction#alden parker x reader#ncis imagine#alden parker smut#gary cole
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Maybe I’m reading in to it too much but whenever Alden say “no reason to worry” or whatever I get so annoyed and just highlight in the books to make a point how often he says is. Maybe it’s as meant to be ironic because there is always danger and it just flew over my head but I swear it such a horrible thing to say to someone with anxiety (Sophie you can fight me on this but she has anxiety idc) like I’m sorry it makes me so so mad and yeah
#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#kotlc fandom#sophie foster#kotlc sophie foster#kotlc sophie#alden vacker kotlc#kotlc alden#alden vacker#shannon messenger
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Parknight imagines, seasons 2: leaf peeping
Knight stomps her foot on the floor of the car. "We're going to be late," she grumbles.
Behind the wheel, Parker quirks an eyebrow. "To the crime scene? The body's already cold, Jess. The skies are clear. Forecast predicts no freak winds or squalls of any sort." He taps his finger against the steering wheel. "…yeah, we'll get there after Jimmy and McGee and Torres, but we'll hardly be late."
She huffs. Honestly, Parker doesn't deserve her attitude, and she knows it. She's just—annoyed with what's around them. And she gestures to the wall-to-wall traffic outside their windshield. "Don't people know the leaves are past season for D.C.? It's November already, for crying out loud!"
Parker winces at her volume and gives her the tiniest of shrugs. "Eh, people can't help it this time of year, especially on the coast."
"No, I know about the coast. Don't forget: Washington grad. Seattle's a stone's throw from the coast, Alden."
"I know. But…" They crawl forward; the tires rotate maybe half an inch under the carriage. "Leaves in autumn in the Northeast are more than a passing hobby. I'm not even sure 'way of life' begins to cover it." He scoffs at the description and then catches her eye. "You really aggravated by all this traffic, though?"
…dammit, he knows her too well. Knight frowns and cups that pout in the palm of her hand as she rests her elbow inside her door and glares out the window. "…no," she admits.
Parker waits for the rest.
"We've been working nonstop for weeks, with little time off," she mumbles against her palm. It would've been nice to enjoy watching the leaves change color with you the way normal people do, she confesses to herself.
The car scoots forward, going then stopping then going and doing nothing for their fuel economy, and Parker is quiet. By the time they're at the light, where they'll turn and hopefully make up for lost time, he takes in a deep breath and exhales. "You know…there are still some leaves on the trees."
Knight doesn't budge from her pose but turns her head his way.
"Personally, I think the early colors are overrated. Those yellows and oranges and bright reds." Parker shades his head. "I like the softer colors at the end. The leaves turn coppery before they become that cozy brown."
She wants to stay annoyed…but it's harder, fighting back the grin at his words. "I don't know. Brown's kind of drab to me."
Parker locks eyes—hazel meeting coppery brown—with her before the light turns green. "Eh, you just don't see it the same way I do."
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❝ i’m not jealous, who said i’m jealous? ❞ / alden
gotta get rid of memes || @grlsavior
ALDEN COULDN'T HELP BUT BREAK OUT into a wide smile. He was grinning from ear to ear, and he knew it would only annoy her if he didn't stop now. Thus, he tried to cover his smile with his hand, looked away, and pretended to focus on something else, like the trees or the sky above. Yeah, they were like really cool to look at when not having to deal with the chaos surrounding them. So... cool. Amazing. Just... wow. But despite his efforts ( or lack of-- ) to contain himself, he could feel a chuckle building up inside him. ' Don't give in, ' he told himself, but he was weak when it came to Tilly. SHE WAS JUST TOO CUTE, and he couldn't resist her adorableness.
Finally, Alden cracked a grin and chuckled softly. "I'm sorry," he said, sighing happily and TILTING HIS HEAD TO THE SIDE AS HE GAZED at Tilly with adoration in his eyes. " You're just so cute. I mean, you say you're not jealous, but I saw the way you glared at her when she spoke to me. You didn't think I'd notice, did you ? " Alden paid close attention to Tilly, and everything she did relaxed him. He knew her so well that he could tell when she was trying to hide her feelings. He wanted her to admit she was jealous so he could tell her she had nothing to worry about. How she is the apple of his eyes, he couldn't think straight with Tilly around.
" Why are you jealous - I mean, not jealous ? " He asked, genuinely curious. " I hope you know that if you were, you have no reason to be. I only have eyes for you, " He assured her, emphasizing that she was the only one he cared about. His words were sincere, and he hope she knew he wasn't the type to lie or play with a girls heart. He shifts his body to face directly toward the blonde beauty before him, he circles his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him where now their bodies are pressed against each other. He looks down at her with so much love, he doesn't know how he got so lucky to have someone like her in his life, but he's thankful every second they get together.
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Thoughts on Nightfall after reading it again
Back on my bs.
Okay literally I read this book in 3 sittings, over 200 pages in each sitting. It's insanely fast paced, and well written. Once you start reading, it becomes really. Really. Really hard to set the book down.
Cognates! Are so emotionally unhealthy! It's horrifying! How is this something we're okay with! Especially for children! Quinlin kept an OPINION, not a secret, an OPINION from Alden, and they wrecked their cognate thing! This is not healthy! Anyone who thinks this is healthy! Get the Therapy you so desperately need! This is not good! Even married couples do not share every single thing with each other! Boundaries are necessary to being a functioning person in society!
Personally, I think Livvy and Quinlin could work it out.
Dang the Lost Cities' prejudice against humans really rubbed off on Sophie quickly. I don't blame her, but also. Yikes. That cannot be good for her.
Sophie's family is getting tortured and the Black Swan is like "we're doing all we can!!!" Despite how they do next to nothing and the kids(age 14-15) have to deal with it all.
Edaline calling Sophie perfect as a baby is going to be written on my heart as one of the most beautiful exchanges in this book. I'll post the quote later. It makes me want to break down in tears. Because stars above. Sophie deserves to be called a perfect baby by her mom.
Tam and Keefe are literally best friends and just too stubborn to stop taking cracks at each other. They started beat friendship and now they can't get off the ride. They're friends.
Keefe Sencen is WAY. TOO USED. TO BLOOD. He's just out there stabbing himself and getting hurt and being like eh blood. I feel like he's very not okay, or has seen so much blood that his own doesn't faze him anymore.
Forkle is the President Coin to Fintan's President Snow. No, I will not elaborate.
Dex and Biana are best friends. Don't ask how it just happened. It's good for both of them, I think.
Sophie. Does not want her and Fitz's relationship to change. It's so obvious. It hurts me. She does not want to tell him she likes him. She does not want to date him. She wants their relationship to stay the way it is. For as long as she can, she desperately wants to keep what sbe has with Fitz. And she is perfectly happy that he doesn't know she likes him. She wants for it to stay the way it is. And even when Fitz gives her every opportunity to change it. She actively avoids it. No thoughts. Just and observation.
Poor Marella.
Wraith's backstory would "Sidetrack everyone". Huh. I bet it would.
Linh loves Wylie's music. And I love Linh. So there we go. That's the whole point.
I forgot so much of what actually happened in canon lmao. I'm so sorry all my fics are so factually inaccurate in the little ways.
KEEFE IS SO STUPID I'D DIE AND KILL FOR HIM.
Keefe not registering for the match is peak Keefe and also heck yeah remove yourself from the Eugenics society dearest boy! Kick their butts! Metaphorically!
Sophie's so in love with Keefe it actually deeply pains me to watch her not notice it. Like uh. Honey. You love him. You love him you love him you love him you love him. Sophie, you love Keefe.
Keefe is so in love with Sophie. He's literally out there almost dying for her. Actively putting himself in harms way so that no one can hurt her. I just. Ow.
He's also so smart and so stupid all at once. Idiot. But a smart idiot.
I forgot how annoying Ro is in canon. Literally every moment after she's been introduced I've literally just wanted her to shut up. I love the Ro I've created in my head, but this Ro in canon makes me want to hit her in the face.
FITZ BAKES IMMA CRY GN GUYS
Marella really got targeted for her talent. It's kinda gross to see Sandor demanding that Marella not use a single spark without a go ahead even though he's never said anything like that to Linh, or even Sophie.
The Vacker Legacy. What is the Vacker Legacy. It can't be Alvar. It can't be. So what is it. Who is it.
Sophie does not get a break. She does not get a week to rest. Absolutely no breaks for the kid. This is the book where she starts getting exhausted. This is the book where it starts exhausting the reader, too. Because scenes stop getting time to breathe. Life only speeds up. Sophie does not get a single moment to rest. And neither does the reader.
Ah. A panic attack. Sophie has a full blown panic attack. Great. Love that.
This book is screwed up. This story is screwed up. Everything about this is screwed up.
Tam and Biana interact like a married couple. They have each other's backs and occasionally make comments that imply that they're fond of each other. I love that for them.
Ah. Sophie straight up disassociates for like 2 weeks. And then nothing changes. No one tries to fix it except her frienda who are, y'know, children. This is totally fine. Not at all a horrible sign of the state of the Lost Cities and adult elves as a whole. No. Definitely not.
IM GETTING WHIPLASH FROM HOW QUICKLY FORKLE GOES FROM TREATING SOPHIE LIKE A PERSON TO TREATING HSR LIKE A TOOL AND BACK AGAIN. NO WONDER SOPHIE'S SCREWED UP. I WOULD BE, TOO.
*various gagging noises*
Vespera. Ew. She sucks.
Gisela. Ew. She sucks.
Everything is awful, actually.
Sophie Foster having to say goodbye to her human parents for good hurts me.
I just.... This book was a fast paced mess. I feel like nothing and everything happened, and I wish it didn't. I'm so tired, and I know Sophie is too.
We're so tired. And yet we keep reading. Because we've grown attached. And we've got to fix the hole that this series has hollowed in our chests.
#kotlc#kotlc keefe#keefe sencen#kotlc sophie#sophie foster#kotlc fitz#kotlc thoughts#kotlc nightfall#fitz vacker#river re-reads kotlc#kotlc fandom#this is actually a pretty awful book to read#its just generally exhausting
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