I love baby Anderson and Vlad. They're so cute and sweet. I would love to see some silly little adventures with them. I know that's vague but any little hcs you might have would be so nice!!

maybe vague but I adore and shall supply!!

Knight!Ghost Headcanons

masterlist

->Pairing: Knight!Ghost x Princess!Reader

->A/N: I'm a bio major not a history major so I apologize for any inaccuracies.

When you became of age of course your parents, the King and Queen needed someone to protect their sweet, precious, and adored daughter.

They requested the best knight in all of the land, Ghost.

You would be sitting in the throne room when you first laid eyes on him. The large doors opening and the light dancing off his armor as he approached your parents. Your breath was nearly taken from you as you gazed upon the large man in-front of you. He would bow as accustomed greeting them and they would give their approval.

He would protect you with his life, you were beautiful no doubt many men and women would kill to marry you, but alas you will be arranged with whomever is best for politics.

He would walk with you out of the throne room and to wherever you go within the castle walls or outside.

You frequent the rose garden, and he stands stone-still as you walk around the blooming flowers and giggle and laugh all while watching him. He's so out of place in the garden. A big strong man coated in impenetrable dark armor surrounded by pastel flowers and twisting vines.

You would ask questions about him and his life, and he would respond in short, gruff, and thickly accented answers. Your stomach would erupt in butterflies when we would speak, you had never encountered a knight as all-consuming as him.

He never strays far from you, when you go to town or the port to watch the ships everyone would avoid you, giving a wide berth to the two of you.

He admired the way your dress coated your body and your hair looked so smooth and silky, he assumed it felt better than any imported silk ever could.

He shouldn't have these feelings for you, but he wants to draw his sword when a boy you are meant to court greets you and you do not repay the same affections he gives you. Your words are short with him, almost mean. And your eyes drift to Ghost frequently as you talk with the young man, they would rake from bottom to top, your gaze heavy on his eyes and he returns it.

He smirks under his helmet, knowing your affection is directed to him.

He would stand near the door when dinner is served. He would watch you eat delicacies many would kill for, you would get drunk off of the finest of wines, then he would escort you back to your room.

You would hang off of him, ditzy and bubbly as you sing small parts of songs as the two of you walk, well you stumble and he nearly carries, you down the hallway.

Eventually you grow too tired to walk any further you sit in a hall chair and refuse to get up. Ghost grows irritated at your antics and eventually just slings you over his shoulder.

"Oh my, what a strong knight you are. I shall request you carry me everywhere from now on. I do fear my feet may fall off from all this walking about the castle." He does not respond but the arm that grows tighter around your waist tells you all you need to know.

He would place you on your plush bed, you still drunk off of wine would laugh as he stands still at the end of your bed.

You would grow quiet and hum lightly at the sight of him in your quarters, at the end of the bed. To most he's that stuff of nightmares, but to you he's the creation of your dreams.

You would sit up, letting down your hair your hand would trace down you neck and corset,

"You know... I just can never see myself marrying those boys my father sends me. I've always loved knights. May I ask, do you like princess's sir?"

He would stiffen at your words, it is his job to protect you even from himself and his needs. Perhaps if you were not intoxicated he would play into your game but for now he tells you to sleep and leaves the room, he enjoys the pout that paints your face as he leaves.

He thought this would be an easy job, to protect you till marriage but he's finding it's the most difficult he's ever had.

HIIII BESTIE HI

SO LIKE I'VE GOT A REALLY ANGSTY REQUEST LOL BE PREPARED

- Okay okay so can I get uhmmmm

- Dallas, Sokol, Hoxton, Houston and Jacket for this?

- Okay so, Reader and heister are already dating and they match pretty well

- They've been assigned to do the diamond (garnet) heist together bc they can blend in as a couple

- But just before the heist they have a fight

- (It was over some misunderstanding idk)

- Heister says something kinda rude and readers rlly offended

- So they're like 'clearly you need time to cool off so I'll just go on my own'

- Heister's like 'Fine go on ur own >:/' bc the heist is stealth and it should be easy

- But what they don't know is that an unknown rival group already knew that they were going and ambush the place with reader inside

- Heister's waiting for reader to come back as they scroll through channels on the TV

- He sees the news and it shows that there was a massive attack on the building reader was heisting on

- He rushes to the building to see the building surrounded by police tape + cops, ambulances and so on

- He sneaks inside to see partygoers still in the place, all of them shaken up and evacuating

- He asks if they saw someone (reader)

- One of them just says 'I saw someone that looked like that. They were fighting the criminals.... now....' and they point over to a smashed window with some blood surrounding it

- Heister's heart sinks into his stomach as he walks over and looks down from the smashed window

- As he looks over the edge he just sees reader

- Or what's left of them

- Yeah.... they were pushed off

- Haha guilt time for Heister (😭😭😭😭)

- Uh sorry if this is too intense I've had this idea in my head for a WHILE

hahahahahAHAHAHAHAAAA YOU FOOL !! YOU’VE GIVEN ME TOO MUCH POWER AND NOW A L L WILL BOW TO THE POWER OF MY CREATIVITY AND KEYBOARD !! I WILL MAKE YOU SOB FOR YEARS TO COME EVERY TIME YOU THINK OF THIS-

ahem anyways ,, i love this prompt ajdbajs /gen

i’m not gonna specify who this rival gang is , but it’s definitely not the golden aces bc they wouldn’t kill a heister , only do a minor bit of trolling

!! TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS !!

- Heavy angst - Suicide / Suicidal thoughts - Major character death - Derealization - Spoilers for PAYDAY 2's ending

!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !!

Oyasumi — PAYDAY HEADCANONS

Dallas

So basically this mf is overworking himself as always

When you try to get him away from his desk for the heist he kinda just snaps at you

Even if you continue to try and pull him from his work, he just continues to push you away

So you end up leaving him to his work and go on the heist alone, in which he kinda just dismisses you

Later on, he ends up finishing his work, but he notices a headline on the news just as he’s about to close his computer

Dallas took a minute before it finally clicked

The Garnet group building was ambushed

And you were in there

First was panic, and he immediately got Bile to pick him up and drop him off at the roof of the building while under the disguise of law enforcement

Among the partygoers who were fleeing and screaming for their lives, he tried desperately to look for you, but he couldn’t seem to spot you

Eventually he managed to find an injured partygoer, whom he asked about your whereabouts

This partygoer said that you put up a big fight with the ambushers, but you ‘didn’t come out on top’

When Dallas asked tor clarification, the person pointed towards a shattered window. There didn’t seem to be much, but it was the minuscule blood splatters that struck fear

He wasted no time rushing over, peeking over the edge and praying that he wouldn’t see what he thought he would see

But alas, it was exactly what he thought

You were on the roof of an adjacent building attached to the Garnet tower, your blood spread across its surface in such a beautiful yet horrifying manner

His heart seemed to sink upon seeing this, and he wasn’t even paying attention to the fact that he was nearly about to fall off of the edge

It was only when the rest of the Payday gang arrived on the scene, to retrieve Dallas and finish off the heist at hand

Luckily, Dallas managed to get a breather when he was taken back to the safe house, but he still was in shock

Surely it was an elaborate prank, right? You’ll walk in all fine and give him a kiss on the cheek while telling him you were okay… right?

Well, his despair seemed to grow when the others came back, but you were nowhere to be seen

He ends up feeling so awful for pushing you away that he ends up slacking on his own work and avoids doing heists, ESPECIALLY heists that have to do with diamonds or gems

Sometimes he would wake up and expect to see you next to him, but he would end up remembering that you’re not there and he’d cry himself back to sleep

He’s no longer allowed to do any mission that involves heights, because the crew knows damn well that he might have a panic attack, or worse, jump off the ledge

Dallas never recovers from this state, and he ends up leaving the Payday gang as a result of it

He still keeps your belongings and does his best to preserve them as much as possible, leaving them untouched like memories locked in its place

He basically turns into a hikikomori, withdrawing from pretty much everything and becoming a fucking mess

Hoxton

So y’know how Hector ratted Hoxton out?

Well this takes place before they find out, and he’s still extremely pissed about the fact that someone fucked him over

He’d spent every bit of time trying to figure out who the hell it was, and even when he gets a break, he still always talks about it

You tried to pull him away from it by offering up a diamond heist, but he dismissed you

However, unlike Dallas, he lashed out at you the second time you tried to offer, saying that he was too busy to deal with the likes of you

You just huff and turn on your heel, saying that you’ll go on your own if “he was going to be such a whiny bitch about it”

Hoxton was about to yell at you again because of your insult, but you were already out the door

A few hours pass, and Dallas speaks up from his desk

“Uh- Hoxton? I think you might wanna look at this.”

Hoxton finally seems to be drawn away from his investigation, as Dallas’s concerned tone caught his attention

The second he saw the headline, Hoxton wasted no time getting his equipment ready so that he could not only see if you were okay, but kick the shit outta the ambushers in question

After pestering Bile for a minute or two, he finally found himself in the Garnet building, searching frantically for you

In his panic, he ends up bumping into a civilian and he desperately asks about your whereabouts

The civilian pointed towards the shattered window, and Hoxton rushed towards it so fast that he nearly tripped on himself just as he made it to the ledge

When he saw your corpse laying almost peacefully on the now blood-coated concrete, he nearly had a heart attack

He called your name several times, but there was no answer, nor was there any movement from you

Hoxton continued calling your name, desperately hoping that you would wake up

But as he was dragged away by the rest of the gang, who had just arrived on the scene, he finally realized that you were truly gone

Once that part clicked, he went into full on anger, literally fucking incinerating any cop that got in his way as him and the rest finished the heist

He continued to express this aggression, on anyone and anything he could. It reached to the point where Aldstone couldn’t even let him in the safe house because he was wrecking shit like there was no tomorrow

And it sure as hell felt like there was no tomorrow, at least not in his eyes

His life was over now that you were gone. All of the plans he had, thrown away like garbage

And there was no one else to blame but himself, yet he refused to believe it

He was in so much denial, that he even tried to blame you for your own death. Yet deep inside, he was beating himself up for not accompanying you

Perhaps if he had just listened to you, you’d still be waking up next to him, or holding his hand, or even just talking to him

He missed you. Every last part of you.

Looking at anything that even remotely reminded him of you filled him with sorrow and rage, so much to the point where he tries to destroy it

But he can’t destroy those memories, he held them too dear, but they hurt so much

There was only one way to get rid of them

And the price of it was his life

Houston

Houston absolutely hates it when a single mistake is made during a stealth heist

Knowing a lot of heists that have gone loud after a failed stealth, he decided to make a very elaborate plan for this heist in particular, as he wanted to make sure that it went perfectly

Unlike the rest of these, the two of you managed to make it to the heist without fighting

It was only during the heist when the two of you started to argue

You wanted to keep talking with the partygoers to keep them distracted while Houston went ahead to start the process of hacking the laptops for the vault's code

However, it went against his plan, making him frustrated

He didn't want to protest too much with you, so he just left you to do whatever

The rival gang eventually intruded, causing everything to go to shit just as he was hacking into one of the laptops

It was only when he heard the sound of screaming and glass shattering when he finally snapped out of his initial anger

Getting his weapons out, he went to go and look for you, calling your name, only to recieve nothing

Due to the small talk that had popped up beforehand, one of the civilians recognized the name, pointing towards the very broken window that had pulled him out of his angry daze in the first place

He peaked over the edge and his heart dropped

His plan, not even Houston himself, was prepared for the possibility of seeing your corpse splattered on concrete

Houston eventually fled, as he knew that if he stayed long, he wouldn't make it out alive

However, even so, he didn't even know if he wanted to make it out alive

All of his planning, all those hours thinking just to make sure that both you and him made it out safely

It all amounted to nothing

He was trying to rethink every step of the plan, every moment of that heist

Houston was trying to find some sort of loophole or way to predict and prevent the events from happening

He spent months doing this, but it was futile

Nothing could predict that rival gang's assault, nothing could predict your untimely fate

And nobody could predict the way he reacted after coming to terms with the truth

Sokol

You didn't have any ill intention when you said this

Sokol had asked how you would feel if he left the Payday gang to return to hockey, and you said you wouldn't mind

You said this because you didn't want him to be held back by the job if he doesn't enjoy doing it

However, he didn't interpret that part, resulting in him getting angry

After nearly punching you in the face, you retreat to go on the heist that you were assigned to, but you had to go alone instead of with Sokol like you intended

It took a while before Sokol cooled off, and just as he was about to go and join you, Sydney stopped him

He was confused as to why Sydney was so persistent on making sure that he didn't go, but he was just as persistent on heading to the Garnet Group building

Sokol seemed to panic when he saw SWATs storming the building and civilians rushing out

What happened?

Sokol rushed his way inside, careless about the law enforcement officers telling him not to.

He looked everywhere for you, hearing the distant noises of chaos from the roof above.

Sokol was about to call up Bain when he registered the broken window, blood staining the glass

He hurriedly made his way over, and his eyes couldn't believe the sight before him

He saw you, laying motionless on the concrete with blood spread across its surface

He wanted to break down then and there, tears streaming down and some even dripping down onto roof below that you were dead on

However, Sokol knew you would want him to stay strong, and so he did

He proceeded with the heist, alone, and he even managed to get rid of the rival gang who had your blood on their hands

Afterwards, Sokol returned to the Payday gang, and he proceeded with his jobs as per usual

Even after all of it came to an end, when he moved to Cyprus with friends and family, he couldn't help but think about you

He had you on his mind all the time, and just the thought of you was his whole reason of staying alive and pushing forward

Sokol never got over you, but he knew that if he were able to see your face, even if it was for one last time, he would see you smiling and telling him how proud you were of him

He wanted to create a life that he wished he could share with you, even though your own was cut short by the incident

The image of your bright smile is what got him up in the morning to try and make changes for the better, for both himself and the world

It was what you would've wanted

Jacket

So y'know how in Prison Nightmare, you can hear faint lines expressing the greatest fears of some of the heisters?

Well, one of those biggest fears for Jacket happens to be his tape recorder running out of batteries. No wonder he spends a fortune on them!

Whether it be because it would either force him to talk or render him unable to communicate, he's terrified of his tape recorder running out of batteries mid-heist. He always makes sure to have a fresh pair.

Today was a little different, but this difference was HUGE to Jacket

For some reason, he couldn't find his stash of spare batteries, and his tape recorder was starting to run low

He searched frantically, looking high and low for those batteries, but they never turned up. He couldn't even find any stray ones lying around

You were just about ready to go on the heist, but Jacket was nowhere near prepared

He didn't even pay attention to you when you called his name, or when you walked into his room to tell him that the two of you had to go

Jacket was so invested with finding his batteries, not responding to you. Not even in sign language.

You eventually left due to Twitch's nagging, as well as the fact that you were just fed up that Jacket couldn't at least put his search on hold for until the two of you got back

Eventually, Jacket found his battery stash [which was hidden by Sokol underneath one of the staircases], and he managed to relax

He thought he would be able to hop in on the heist to help you out, but when he arrived, he wasn't expecting to see SWAT units all over the place and a few civilians running out of the building

Thinking that he would be able to make it through even if caught by the authorities, he snuck his way in, his confusion growing upon seeing the mess of the building. What happened here?

Eventually, one of the civilians who was running away stopped by him, grabbing his arm as if to try to encourage him out.

"What are you doing!? C'mon! We gotta get outta here!"

When Jacket expressed confusion once more, the civilian went from worry to anger as they said:

"Fine! If you wanna end up like that bitch then go ahead! I'm outta here!"

When they said this, they gestured towards the broken window before making a sprint for the exit. Curious about what this civilian was talking about, Jacket made his way towards the shattered and somewhat bloodied window.

His heart seemed to drop upon seeing your corpse splattered against the roof of the shorter building below.

Despite having his tape recorder, it felt as if he couldn't communicate or even call out to you. He wanted to scream, hoping that you would hear, but everything was stuck in his throat as he tried to comprehend the image before his eyes.

Surely... this was a nightmare... right?

It was so unreal to him, he could barely even feel his palms sliding slowly off of the glass-sprinkled edge.

He wondered if this was all a bad dream and that when he woke up, you'd be next to him and sleeping peacefully.

Well,

He would be disappointed by the answer by the time his head hit the concrete next to you.

Vladimir take care MC who is sick :

Hi! How are you? I hope you are well! ^^

I wrote this headcanon to complement the one I did with Aaron. I would normally do one for each character. I hope you enjoy it!

Have a good day and take care of yourself! ^^

You rarely get sick compared to Vladimir. This is a good thing because Vladimir gets anxious quite quickly when you are ill. His knowledge of medicine is not catastrophic but it's not as good as Raphael's or Aaron's, in fact he's better at healing wounds than a cold. So he trusts Ethan on this, because even though he doesn't always like him, he knows he has the knowledge to treat everyone in his manor.

However, Vladimir often takes care of those who are sick, even if Ethan and the others would prefer him not to get involved because of his poor health. This is even more the case when you are the one who is sick. He still trusts Ethan of course, but no one will be able to convince him to leave you alone, he's still too haunted by the 19th century not to worry about things going wrong.

You didn't feel well when you got up, at least not as well as usual. You could feel a major headache coming on just behind your eyes and the hand on your forehead told you that you were burning up. You groaned in bed, tossing and turning to try to get back to sleep. Vladimir had risen, as usual long before you did, and you didn't feel up to going downstairs to join him. So you threw the blanket over your head and tried to fall back asleep.

This attempt to rest was not a great success, as you often had coughing fits that irritated your throat and made you feel as if you had swallowed nails. You "fell asleep" or rather managed to doze off until the door creaked open behind you, making you grunt in displeasure at the unpleasant noise.

"My darling? Are you still sleeping? "

There was a hint of surprise in his voice but fortunately Vladimir had the decency to whisper, probably for fear of waking you if you were really asleep. You grunt in response and hear him slowly approaching your bed.

"Don't you want to come down with us? Beliath wants to do a UNO with Ethan and Ivan, it might be quite fun to watch."

Vladimir sits on the edge of the bed beside you and you raise yourself on one elbow to look at him. You feel as if your head is in a vice and while you would normally happily go downstairs to watch them do it, tonight you have no desire to hear them argue about the rules of the game.

"No. I'm not feeling well tonight..."

"What do you mean?"

Vladimir leans gently towards you with a worried expression. He has removed one of his gloves to touch your face. You shudder as his icy hand touches your forehead, you didn't think you had such a fever.

"You have a high fever! "

"I know," you mumble. It will pass. I just... need to get some sleep... "

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'll be fine."

As if to prove you wrong you are suddenly seized by a violent coughing fit that shakes you from head to toe. Vladimir flinches violently before you see a flash of fear pass through his eyes, you grab his arm before speaking in a hoarse voice.

"Everything is fine, I assure you. We're not in the 19th century anymore."

The reminder seems to reassure him enough to stop looking at you as if you were going to disappear at any moment. But alas, not enough to make him stop worrying.

"I'll go get Ethan”

Oh, no. I don't have the energy to put up with his crap tonight. Leave him where he is."

He looks at you for a moment about to protest, but you don't let go of his arm preventing him from leaving.

“But... MC," he mumbles, "you're sick... I wouldn't want it to get any worse.”

“We can always see about it tomorrow if I'm not better... Tonight, I'd rather we just stay together.”

He remains silent for a moment longer and you continue.

"Please, my head really hurts too much to take it tonight.”

“If it's not over by tomorrow, I'll go get Ethan." Vladimir finally relented as he returned to sit next to you.

You nod without answering and move over to make room for him in the bed. He sits as close to you as possible, noting with concern that you are really feverish.

Once you are settled, you rest your head on his shoulder before closing your eyes. Vladimir has just closed his arms around your waist and you can feel his breath against your temple before he gently kisses you.

“You'll get sick if you kiss me," you mumble softly, trying to fall back asleep.

“It doesn't matter... you can take care of me like that..."

You smile at his reply and eventually manage to fall back to sleep. Once you are a little better rested he goes down to the kitchen to make you a honey tea to try and soothe your cough. Even though you are ill it is a pleasant enough evening. Vladimir gives you his undivided attention and even reads you the few poems and stories he writes in secret.

Excuse me. Forgive me. But misery truly loves company, i couldn't bear it alone and i honestly didn't know who to go to.

 I love mdzs believe me i do but i can never fully enjoy being in this fandom because more than majority of the fandom have their heads up Jiang Cheng's ass and every platform i go to most people are either victimising him/under the Yunmeng siblings fanvideo most of the comments are like "actually Jiang Cheng suffered a lot too, The one who was hurt the most is clearly Jiang Cheng" bruhhh/ or shoving his godawful ass in where he is unwanted.

 I just wanted to search for some Lan Qiren contents, preferably funny fanarts or headcanons, you see. I wasn't even surfing long before i find this. Yes it is my own fault for not filtering purple shit's name before searching but alas i saw it and i can't unsee. It's kinda like a last straw because lately it has been real struggle find good contents about other characters that Jiang Cheng and his victimself isn't somehow shoved down my throat. So yeah. I'm an evil pos for subjecting you to this, dragging you with myself and staining your eyes but i simply had to get it out of my chest. Sorry again.

Hahah...🥲 I feel you. I think the best way to really enjoy mdzs is far far away from its fandom. Maybe on a new sm platform where only artwork can be uploaded... not encyclopedia length twitter threads about why a fully grown woman was justified making everyone around her miserable and whipping a kid for existing. But that's another matter...

ok back to LQR, why would LQR fw jc? WWX may break etiquette rules but does jiang cheng respect these :

Talking behind other people's back is prohibited.

Sneering for no reason is prohibited.

Arrogance is forbidden.

Do not succumb to rage.

Do not fear the strong.

Do not bully the weak.

Do not disrespect the younger.

Do not take advantage of your position to oppress others.

Do not break faith.

Do not make assumptions about others.

Do not insult people.

Morality is the priority.

Harmony is the value.

Do not act impulsively.

Make sure to act virtuously.

Do not forget the grace of the forefathers.

Be careful with your words.

Be respectful and humble.

Stop the bad habits.

Be strict with yourself.

Be easy on others.

Do not hold grudges.

If others win over you, do not envy them.

Love all beings.

Honor good people.

Uphold the value of justice.

Shoulder the weight of morality.

Embrace the entirety of the world.

Perform acts of chivalry.

Have courage and knowledge.

Have courtesy and integrity.

Have affection and gratefulness.

Have wins and losses.

Be fair, and others will follow.

Believe sincerely.

Have a strong will and anything can be achieved.

Win friendships with kindness.

See friends as neighbors.

Be just.

Be generous.

Be ethical.

Be grateful.

Do not treat others with contempt.

Do not look down on the poor.

Do not bully the weak.

Be kind, moderate, cautious, virtuous.

Be gentle and content in adversity.

etc.

Youth With You

Pairing: Lisa x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 3,113

HC Count: 31

This is a mix between headcanons and a one shot

Warnings / Misc. -- Fluff, Little Hot & Heavy, (Public) Teasing, Happy Ending

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hey everyone! Here’s my first writing for Lisa; I’m pretty proud of it! Feel free to let me know what you think. Happy reading, I hope you enjoy!

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Becoming a new trainee was terrifying in every sense of the word. The media, the practices, the tests -- everything. 3 months into your coaching, however, things hit an all time high: you gained the opportunity to enter the competition Youth With You, as an independent trainee. Your freedom and right to expression was important to you, so it wasn’t an accident that you were going in independently. A company would only put pressure and bans on you, restricting your creativity and keeping you from being your most authentic self.

Finding out that Lisa was a mentor only made your nerves worse; at the same time, though, you’d never been more excited for something in your whole life.

Having friends in the industry proved to be an important factor as you prepped for the show. Producers and managers gave you advice, knowing exactly what each of the teachers looked for and demanded from their groups. You worked tirelessly to ready yourself for the whirlwind that was sure to come.

When you arrive at the production building, you’re in awe; the interior is ginormous, with insanely high ceilings and huge doors. Everything is coated in various colors, all of them pristine and beautiful. The labyrinth of halls that winds throughout the building before you is quite intimidating, but you take a deep breath and remind yourself of your reasons for being here. It’s far too important to chicken out now.

The staff had tipped you off to the fact that the mentors would be there today, but they neglected to tell you when. You had surely expected them to come in after everyone got settled. Alas, you were sorely mistaken; thus, you can imagine the surprise that etched into your features upon entering the main room.

Ella and Kun were invested in their papers, flipping through the stacks and whispering to each other; Jony J was turned to his right, chatting with Lisa. Your presence was announced by the rather loud thud that echoed through the room at the closing of the door.

The bright lights nearly blinded you as you turned to face them again, dread creeping into your mind.

“Hello everyone, I’m Y/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” The words came out cooler that you had expected, and you patted yourself on the back for remaining so calm. You’re known for managing to hide your nerves well and remain professional, but that’s no easy task with this group of talent. Especially her.

You purposefully tried to avoid looking at her, knowing you’d blush and get majorly sidetracked. You feared you wouldn’t be able to recover from that.

“I see that you’re an independent trainee,” Kun said, a smile spreading across his lips. You swallowed at the sight, knowing the questions were about to come rolling in. “Yes, that’s correct. I prefer working alone; I only have to rely on myself.” He studies you, head tilted to the side as he considers your answer, and you nearly melt under his astute gaze. “I was the same way. It’s never easy, but the mentors and I will be right beside you during your time here.” Knowing that these 4 amazing people were here to share their experiences and guide you through your troubles made the task at hand much less daunting, and you couldn’t help but smile at the thought. Despite the intensity of the competition, you felt at ease, knowing they genuinely want the best for you.

“Ah, look at that face! So cute,” Ella coos, grinning back. You hide your face behind your hands, embarrassed beyond belief. Everyone chuckles at the sight, and you join in. With the atmosphere officially comfortable, you allow your eyes to trail over to Lisa. To your surprise, she’s already looking at you, lip between her teeth. 

“I see that you have 2 special talents listed.” Lisa starts, leaving room for you to elaborate. “Yes ma’am. While studying abroad in my youth, I learned 3 languages in addition to my native English.” The mentors look pleasantly surprised, and you continue with your other skill. “My mother is a professional chef, and we’ve always been close. She’s trained me over the years, and that’s something I’m very thankful for. During my time away from home I was fortunate enough to learn new techniques and styles from across the world.”

As you finish talking about yourself, you look to each and every one of the judges separately. You know it’s important to have a good connection with all of them, and you use this chance to do just that.

Upon locking eyes with Lisa again, your breath hitches. The light blush that rests on her cheeks, combined with the look she’s giving you, is enough to make you swoon. It’s innocent enough, the way she’s watching you; after all, she can just blame it on her role as a teacher -- she has to get a good understanding of her students. However, though, behind the innocent facade lies a much more sensual reason for her behavior. You don’t miss the way her eyes rake up your body, nor her smirk as she notices your hands mindlessly toying with the band of your shorts. You do your best to keep your attention on the others as they ask you questions about your resume, but that’s easier said than done.

Once they’ve finished with their questions, they invite you to take a seat anywhere you’d like. Despite your desire to book it next to Lisa, you don’t want to be impolite; that’s also not to say that you didn’t enjoy the company of the others -- you truly did. Clearly, though, no one can compare to Lisa.

You give them all another smile, the dimples of your cheeks on full display, and approach them one-by-one to shake their hands. They appreciate the gesture, and you’re confident that you’ve won them over that much more.

As you make your way to the seat beside Lisa, your heart beats wildly. It’s difficult, but you manage to suppress your anxiety for the time being. Letting your control slip now is definitely not an option.

In contrast to the heated look she had been giving you just moments before, Lisa now dons an adorable smile that nearly makes your heart burst. In the moment, you almost reach forward to touch her puffed out cheeks. 

You sit down beside her, and she takes a minute to look you over again. It’s baffling how she can go from so wholesome and adorable to flirty in such a short period of time. 

As the time ticks on and the mentors work through the list of contestants, the two of you continue to steal conversations and teasing glances.

Things are ramped up, however, when Lisa’s hand finds its way to your thigh, settling there for a bit. You attempt to push the intrusive thoughts from your mind, but they come flooding back the second she leans in to whisper something into your ear.

“You look gorgeous,” she tells you, warm breath fanning over your neck. Her slight accent only adds to the effect that her words have on you. All you can offer is a breathless thank you, thoughts completely jumbled at having the stunning woman do such things to you.

Before anyone can get suspicious, she backs off. The disappointment must’ve been evident, because she chuckles lightly and pats your knee in response. Thankfully no one had been paying you two any mind.

~~~ Practices ~~~

It wasn’t often that you came into the studio upset or exhausted, considering you knew you’d soon be cheered up once you saw Lisa, but she made sure to take care of you when those times came around. She could read you like a book, easily knowing when you’d had enough and needed a break. That’s not to say that she lowered her standards, though -- she was firm and demanding, but she checked on you often. She respected all of her students, but she couldn’t deny that she had a soft spot for you. You lived for her soft gaze and gentle touches on the days you needed them most.

Other days, though, you got a kick out of teasing her; playing dumb, purposefully missing steps, ignoring her instructions -- anything to pull a reaction from her. 

          ↪“Eyes forward,” she would call out, voice strong, upon catching you talking to a fellow trainee when you were meant to be practicing. Her jaw would be set, eyes menacing.

          ↪“You keep messing up. Here,” she’d declare, demonstrating the moves directly in front of you. She knew exactly what to do to get you going, and sometimes your plans backfired a bit.

          ↪Those times that you’d play dumb were by far the best, both of you secretly loving the back and forth of it all. “I’m sorry, miss. I just can’t seem to get the moves right.” You’d say, appearing innocent and sweet all the while. It was hard to contain yourself when she’d approach you from behind, pressing her body against your own. “One here,” she’d inform, placing your hand on your hip; “...and one here,” she’d finish, correcting your position once again. When the music restarted, she counted next to your ear, keeping time as her warm hands held yours, guiding you through the positions.  

And of course, the majority of the time, you were a great student for her. Her praise had a mighty effect on you, and there existed a mutual love for it. Being a strong dancer often worked in your favor.

~~~ Performances ~~~

Anytime you were set to perform, Lisa made sure to settle in and get ready to enjoy herself. The two of you had spent many weeks getting to know each other better, growing closer in the process. She found you captivating, and always loved to watch you on stage. The same can be said for you; seeing her dance was always the highlight of your day.

The two of you made sure to play things up, having a knack for getting the other riled up and squirming in their seat.

Watching her cool demeanor falter and ultimately crumble before you was one of your favorite things in the whole world. One of its only rivals was how she had to attempt to conceal it, knowing the cameras would be on her often. 

“I-I loved it. I’m very proud of you, Y/N.”

You smirked at her stutter; no one else was capable of making her blush as much as you did

~~~ Bonus: Backstage ~~~

“You all did so well. I loved that dance break in the middle of the song.” You gushed to a group of your fellow contestants, smiling at how happy they were. Over the course of the competition you had become something of a “celebrity” yourself, noticing that the other girls would always approach you for help and get giddy when you agreed. Not to mention that the mentors were always proud of your progress and dedication to the craft. The conversation continued, and you settled into a comfortable rhythm; everyone taking a turn to share their favorite part of their performance. Seeing these girls -- your friends -- so proud of themselves was a wonderful thing. Everyone worked so hard, day in and day out, to put forth their best effort in everything that they did. Celebrating each other’s wins just felt right, despite the fact that this is a competition. It always hurt to see anyone go home, considering you spent so much time getting to know each other. These were the people who were there for you when you needed it most; all of you know how hopeless it can feel, and you wanted to protect the others from that in every way possible. 

“Y/N!” The sound of someone calling your name pulls you from the conversation, and you send a quick bow and goodbye to the girls before departing. 

Your eyes travel across the crowded stage, searching for the source of the noise. You spot Lisa looking at you, hand beckoning you towards her. A familiar warmth spreads across your body at the action, and you don’t even attempt to stop the smile that takes over your features.

“Yes?” You ask sweetly, approaching her. Her hands slip into yours, fingers lacing in a sweet embrace. “I want you to come to my dressing room once everyone goes back to the dorm. You impressed me tonight, but you still have some things to learn.” As that last sentence falls from her lips, your blood runs cold. Her voice had dropped lower, and you feared what she meant by that. Had you mixed up the choreography without realizing it? Surely not. The only thing you were sure of in that moment was the way she was studying you, almost intimidatingly. Her jaw was set, eyes narrowed, and you swallowed thickly upon noticing this. “Of course. I appreciate the feedback.” She smiled, seemingly pleased with your answer.

With a swipe of her thumb across your knuckles, she was gone.

A sigh left your lips, your mind racing at all of the possible things to come.

~~~ Bonus: A Private Meeting ~~~

“You wanted to see me, Lisa?” You announce upon entering the room and shutting the door behind yourself. The two of you had long ago left the formalities behind, opting instead to be on a first name basis. It was much more intimate, and you preferred things to be that way with her. Of course, occasionally you would use her official title just to get a certain reaction out of her. Slipping it into conversation when around the other instructors always worked to get her attention and catch her off guard. It was easy to see that she enjoyed it, the innocent way it rolled off your tongue. 

You sit down in the chair opposite her, feeling the coolness of the leather press against your calves as you get situated.

“Good job tonight; you get better and better with every performance.” You thank her, both well aware of how much you enjoy her praise. Her expression turns more serious, and you take a deep breath. Here goes. “I don’t think it’s wise for you to be so close with some of the other contestants, though. Not all of them are interested in gaining your friendship for the right reasons.” With furrowed eyebrows and slightly pursed lips, you look at her. “What exactly do you mean?” Her expression turns unreadable, and you sink into your seat a little more. “Some of them may want to get into your head to throw you off your game. Despite what you want to believe, Y/N, this is still a contest.” You sigh, now a bit upset that she’s treating you like a child. “I’m aware of that, Lisa, but I can take care care of myself.” At the change in tone, the air around you shifts into something more tense. “Are you sure? Because you seem to be pretty oblivious to their actions.” She bites back, shifting her seat to get a better look at you, and crosses her arms.

When you don’t respond, she takes this as her cue to continue. “Don’t play dumb, Y/N. I see the way they look at you, so entranced. They know that acting helpless will get your attention. It’s just to distract you!” She says, exasperated, jaw set and eyes cut, just like earlier.

“Are you jealous?” You ask, a contrasting tone of accusal and uncertainty in your voice. No turning back now.

She scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Jealous? Of what?” Her eyes setting on you again, a cocky expression on her face.

“Oh, I don’t know,” you start, toying with her; you know exactly what to say. “Maybe at the fact that they get to be so close to me all the time, like you want to be. Or maybe that we sleep together, especially when it gets cold in the dorms.”

It’s her turn to be speechless. “I’m more observant that you act, miss.” She gulps, and you bite back a smirk. “I see how you look at me; your desire is obvious. We’ve both known it for a long time now… Why don’t you just admit it?” The teasing tone in your voice is thick, and it’s clearly getting to her. Who knew you could make her feel like this with just your words?

“Y/N…” Lisa says your name almost as a warning, knowing that you’re on the edge of crossing the line. She failed to deny your claims; after all, it would do no good. She can’t disguise her feelings for you.

A surge of confidence washes over you, and you take that as a sign to scoot closer to her. Soon, you’re mere inches away from her, your body pressed against the side of the seat as you rest your chin in the palm of your hand. Her tongue darts out of her mouth, soothing her lips.

You take her in for a moment, enjoying the sight. Her long dark hair tumbles past her shoulders in loose waves, and a blush takes residence upon her cheeks. Having her like this was something you only dreamed of in the past; seeing her so aroused because of you truly made you think back on how far the two of you have come.

To put an end to the silence, you loop two fingers underneath her chin, successfully coaxing her into meeting your gaze. Your eyes fall to her lips as you ask, “Am I wrong?” Before you can continue, her resolve fades. She leans forward, capturing your lips in a searing kiss. Any ounce of doubt that you had before melts away as she pulls you closer.

With inhibition and processing skills long gone, you slip from your chair and into hers, settling in her lap. One of her arms wraps around your waist to hold you steady, while her other hand tangles itself into your hair. A swift bite to your lip, paired with a flex of her warm thigh beneath you, sends a jolt through your body and earns her a low groan. She shudders against you, and that simple act works wonders in boosting your confidence.

All too quickly, a sudden noise from just outside the door startles you; reluctantly, Lisa pulls away. You nearly gasp at how dark her eyes have gotten in the heat of the moment. “I’m going to go see what that was,” she informs, gently setting you down in her seat as she stands up. Before turning to walk away, however, she plants another kiss on your lips. “Don’t even think about moving. I’m not done with you yet.”

What weapons were used during the Crusades? I remember something vaguely about bows/crossbows being important but nothing else. Thank you :D

Nonnie, if you are (as I suspect) asking this for Very Important Fic Research Purposes, let me just say: you, my good gentleman/lady/nonbinary pal/mineral/vegetable, are Extremely Valid, and I salute you utterly. Let us just quietly assume that is in fact what you are doing. Buckle up, because yes. You have to consider individual and collective weaponry, differences in Christian vs. Muslim armies, tactics, and their development over the crusades. Never fear, I am here to make it entertaining (ish) for you. Let’s start with the individual warriors.

How To Arm Your Crusader: Nicky Edition

First! Nicky is from Genoa, which was most notably involved in the First and Third Crusades. I mention this because if you’re deciding to place him among a contingent of his fellow countrymen, it’s useful to know where you can most easily do that and where it would be most realistic to have them fighting. It will also make a difference for what he’s armed with. You are correct about crossbows being one of the major weapons of the crusades; indeed they were so effective in medieval warfare generally that the church tried to ban them, at the Third Lateran Council in 1179, from being used on fellow Christians. (Muslims were still fair game.) Longbow archers were used occasionally (though it wasn’t until the 13th century, mostly after the end of the crusades, that they became a major battlefield force), but Nicky would definitely be a crossbowman or at least know how to use one, because we have multiple mentions of Genoese crossbowmen in the sources. (Me in the shower this morning: YOU IDIOT OF COURSE HE’S A CROSSBOWMAN! YOU SEE HIM WITH A LONG RIFLE AND EVERYTHING!). Notably, Richard the Lionheart fought the Battle of Jaffa (1192) with 54 Genoese crossbowmen, about 100 knights, and 2 horses. It is up to you if you decide to use this fact or not, ahem.

Crossbows are easier to learn how to use than longbows, but require strength to wind the mechanism and launch the bolt. There is also a more powerful version called the arbalest, which had a frame made of metal instead of wood. These also had a longer range, so they were in fact a bit like the assault rifles of their day. Unlike a rifle, however, you have to have enough time to fire the weapon (which takes a while) and therefore it’s not as useful if the enemy is right on top of you. They’re most helpful in attacking an enemy in a more stationary position (such as, say atop a tower or a wall) and where you can have enough space to reload without being overrun.

We see that Nicky has a broadsword, which would also be a fairly standard weapon for a crusader. Most boys started their training at the age of 7, and the value in achieving the rank of knighthood would rise steadily over the course of the crusades, complementing the development of the ethos of chivalry. At the time of the Norman Conquest (1066), we could still have “free” or “unfree” knights, and it was a mark of military service rather than a distinct social rank. But with the popularity of chivalric literature in the 12th century, the ideas and prestige associated with knighthood skyrocketed. I know I’ve written some posts about this somewhere, which I’m too lazy to go find right now, but you can possibly find them in my medieval history tag. In essence, chivalry means martial prowess. It has a more romanticized aspect, of course, but it’s mostly about kicking ass, though it does prescribe certain codes of conduct for combatants (on both sides) and for noble-born women, as well as a strong religious aspect. If you do want more info on this and how to avoid the stereotypes of a chivalric knight, let me know and I’ll go dig up my old stuff.

There’s also a big difference between fighting on foot (infantry) and fighting on horseback (cavalry). All the footsoldiers were a lower or more common rank, and if you had a horse, you were almost certainly a knight or a professional soldier. Footsoldiers usually were pike (spear)men, since even if you only have long spears and a shield wall, you can throw together a pretty awesome defense. (At the Battle of Hastings, English fyrdmen with just pikes and shields almost defeated multiple Norman heavy cavalry charges.) Plus, a spear doesn’t take too much special training: just poke the sharp end into the other guy, as Jon Snow might say. Hence it was easier for non-professional soldiers or citizen conscripts to use it rather than the more specialized skills for knights.

The best warhorses were known as destriers. They were specially trained to kick, bite, and raise as much hell as their masters in battle; they were expensive and prized. A fast, strong horse often also used for war or for fast travel is a courser. A horse for non-battle or basic transport situations would be a palfrey or a rouncey (though lower-status men-at-arms could also ride one in battle). We can decide whether or not Nicky has one of these.

Armor! The Christian crusaders wore steel (chainmail) which was a major advantage in close-quarters combat. This is not the plate armor you may be thinking of, since full-body armor didn’t get used until around the 14th century at the earliest and came into full vogue in the 15th/16th century (by which cannons had often made it obsolete and dangerous). Chainmail is no joke: it weighs at least thirty pounds and boys had to wear it from childhood to know how to stand up in it, let alone move. (I.e. all those movies where anyone just slaps it on and is fine are liars.) You would wear several layers: first an undertunic, then a padded leather gambeson, the steel hauberk itself (often thigh-length), and then a cloth tabard on top, which displays your badge or flag or your cross, if you’re a crusader (though these were far from ubiquitous and sometimes color-coded by country). That way people can also tell which side you belong to. You wear a helmet on your head (obviously), vambraces and gloves on your arms, and greaves on your legs, over heavy leather boots. Now imagine all that coming at you with a spear on a charging warhorse.

.... what I’m saying is, medieval knights could kick your ASS.

You can also use daggers, hatchets, and other small arms (morningstars are cool, but alas, were never really used in the field). A knight sometimes carried a special blade known as a misericorde, which had the gruesome but necessary purpose of finishing off a wounded enemy (or friend) who hadn’t died immediately from their injury but wasn’t going to survive it either. Welp.

And with that:

How To Arm Your Muslim Warrior: Joe Edition

So we’ve got Nicky sorted: what about his More Than Boyfriend mortal enemy? Well, for the most part, it will look something like the above. Christian crusaders of the period would have called Muslims “Saracens,” which was the name for them, along with less flattering things (heathens, infidels, etc) but when in doubt, if writing from a crusader POV, you can just use Saracens. Actual Muslims obviously never use this word to refer to themselves. They did not have crossbows, but rather shorter and more mobile bows that were designed to be used from horseback. Arabian horses were smaller in stature than European destriers, but faster and more maneuverable, and had a legendary reputation for speed and temperament. Muslim forces would also sometimes ride to the battlefield and then dismount to fight.

We see that Joe has a sword with a shorter and wider/slightly curved blade in comparison to Nicky’s long, straight broadsword. In my fic, I call this a saif, which is just the Arabic word for sword and is how Muslims of the period would have referred to it (the word “scimitar” is from an Italian name for it and wasn’t used until at least the 16th century). It can mostly refer to any Islamic sword in this style, though there are different names for regional variations. If you want to give him a really cool and culturally significant weapon (especially since I headcanon him as a Fatimid Shia Muslim from Egypt), you could give him the zulfiqar, which was a double-pointed sword used by Ali ibn Abi Talib, a cousin of Prophet Muhammad and one of the main figures in Shia Islam. It is often represented on flags and in battlefield invocations. The actual zulfiqars that exist are more often dated from the 16th/17th century with the Ottomans or from 19th-century Persia, rather than from the crusades, but hey, you can always say that Joe had something to do with that. Sidenote, research the differences in the various Muslim dynasties of the crusader period, as they’re definitely not one size fits all (especially in re: the prominence of Sunni sultans in the later crusades, and how Joe might have thought about that).

As noted, the Muslims didn’t wear steel armor, which was a disadvantage to them in close-quarters combat with crusaders. Their armor was made of boiled leather and lamellar scales, designed to be light and good for long-distance riding rather than a heavy battle. They would also have helmets (in various shapes and styles), gloves, etc. An archer would have a quiver and have to think about using, reclaiming, or mending arrows after a battle (the Never Ending Quiver in every movie ever: ALSO WRONG).

I will confess that I don’t know as much about Islamic warrior ethoi comparable to chivalry as I should. However, the crusades were taking place against the backdrop of the Islamic Golden Age, in which the culture, sophistication, and scholarly study in the Islamic world was at its height, and there are plenty of artists, poets, mathematicans, and philosophers that Joe would be familiar with, that would guide his actions in the way that chivalry might for a knight. Such as, for example, Avicenna (Ibn Sina) from Samarkand, or the Banu Musa brothers of Baghdad. There would also obviously be the Qur’an and the ahaditha (sayings of Prophet Muhammad) and other religious texts and traditions. Obviously if you’re going to use any of these, be respectful, do your research, and present it in a positive way.

And then of course there is the:

Big-Ass Cool Weapons of Major Boom

So what else do we have on a large scale, aside from the individual warriors? For a start, we have (on the crusader side) siege engines, such as mangonels, trebuchets, towers, etc. These are not comparable to the Return of the King-esque “break off a chunk of the city with every hit,” but they were pretty damn effective; during the Third Crusade, one stone from a trebuchet was reputed to have killed twelve people in the market in Acre. Richard the Lionheart also hauled along a lot of high-quality stone from Sicily to make better missiles than the soft crumbly sandstone of the Holy Land. There’s a reference to a “cat,” which seems to have been a tower containing multiple compartments for crossbowmen, which could be pushed up against city walls. There are also battering rams and other blunt-force weapons, since sieges were a main part of every crusade. (In fact, commanders tried to avoid open battles as much as they could, though there were also usually at least one on each crusade.) Defensive strategy included digging deep ditches around walls, to prevent your opponent’s siege engines from getting too close, or just throwing stuff down at them as they tried to climb with scaling ladders. With this, we also have....

Greek fire! It’s semi-similar to wildfire from Game of Thrones, even if not quite as effective, but still a pretty cool weapon. The Muslims used it first; it didn’t enter Christian warfare until Geoffrey Plantagenet introduced it in 1151 (his grandson, Richard the Lionheart, also got to be rather fond of it). It was a long-burning liquid explosive that could burn even on water and couldn’t be put out by regular means; it was very feared and very effective. So if you were under siege and had some of that stuff to pour down on the defenders, it would be useful (along with boiling pitch, oil, or other more ordinary substances). Your enemy might plan for that or try to defend against it by using hides soaked in water or some other kind of shield.

Anyway, I’m sure there is more I could say here, but this is already MORE than long enough. I hope it is helpful to start with. And inspirational. Ahem.

Amnesia: The Dark Descent - Astarion

Ahoy there me hearties! It is time to embark on yet another long voyage into the seas of discovery and character exploration, to fill in the details of the blank map with speculation and musings alongside the occasional sea serpent drawing! Tonight we are once more focused on Astarion from Baldur’s Gate 3, and we set sail with navigation logs that include Scents And Sensibilities, or more specifically how both taste and smell might impact Astarion as a vampire and his perception of the world. The second major topic of speculation would be the one that gave this post its title: amnesia possibilities with speculations on the influence of torture and starvation for induced memory loss. This is of course all speculation based on early access content, so beware of spoilers upon the horizon! Content warnings include discussion of food items, consumption of food, consumption of rotting food, graphic descriptions, maggots, insects, emetophobia, vampirism, blood, dark backstories, abuse, torture, horror, and other themes typical of the Baldur’s Gate 3 setting. Spoilers for both Baldur’s Gate 3 and some spoilers for Amnesia: The Dark Descent and Amnesia: Justine included. Google story details of the Amnesia series at your own risk, these tags are intended to be reflective solely of mentioned elements in this essay, not of all potentially disturbing content in those games.

So with the starting fact of how closely the senses of taste and smell are in real life, what does this mean for Astarion and other vampires in DND when it comes to how things smell versus how they taste? Referencing another of Pjenn’s fine posts regarding everyone’s favorite local vampire spawn, Astarion has a line regarding consuming a treacle tart from Auntie Ethel’s cottage: “Hell’s teeth! Was solid food always so foul?” [click here for a link to said post]  Now this could just be because Auntie Ethel is a hag and cooks horrible food, and according to tumblr there are poisonous apples to be found at her place as well. [Alas no post citation to confirm the poisonous apples.] If Astarion’s reaction isn’t due to Ethel being a terrible cook, and is more to do with the fact that he’s a vampire, then that’s a horse of a different color. Presumably, through speculation based on his surprise and lack of disgust prior to consumption of foodstuffs, standard humanoid foods likely still smell or at least smell similar to how they used to smell to him when he was alive. An apple still smells like an apple, as it were. It may just be that instead of Astarion feeling hunger at the smell of an apple, it might be more akin to smelling pleasant like apple-scented perfume or such though for him...curiously, that would suggest that he did not try or more likely could not try to eat anything of the sort under Cazador’s rule. On that note, it would be a certain flavor of tragedy for regular humanoid foods to still smell appetizing and edible to Astarion but taste like ash in his mouth, or worse. But how does food fit for vampires smell to Astarion? Namely, blood, of course. Though one might wonder at rare steak or other cuts of meat still bloody to the taste—could he eat beef tartare and enjoy it, for example? Sashimi or other raw seafood? That’s straying into headcanon territory though. Back on topic, in the one camp scene where everyone is feeling ill with the beginning sensations of ceremorphosis, he mentions “I can smell the blood in your mouth” on one dialogue branch. It could be that the two are standing awfully close together while discussing matters, and/or the MC’s bleeding a pretty significant amount and the scent is quite noticeable, or Astarion’s got a pretty keen sense of smell, or a combination of the above. It probably smells pretty good if it tastes as good as Astarion’s reactions and comments would strongly suggest, and if we’re going to go wild with fun fantastical interpretations, I’d put forth the idea of Astarion being able to smell the difference between different people’s (or animals’) blood at close range. If Larian puts the following datamined not-present-in-game-yet scene in, the former idea would tie in very nicely with how Astarion speculates on how the different companions’ blood might taste, from this datamined text post once again kindly provided by Pjenn. [click here for text post link, bottommost “tastingparty” section] Transcription of some of the possible lines in question (not in the game at time of writing, and possibly may not appear in the final game): “Take Gale, for example. He strikes me as someone whose blood is rich, refined like a well-aged brandy.” “Take Wyll, for example. A man of the people, very palatable, like a sweet cider.” Above lines chosen for their more descriptive wording, thus why the other party members (both current and future as of this time of writing) are not added in the above examples. Astarion is quite colorful in his descriptions of how he thinks some of the companions’ blood would taste, based off of their personalities. So what does everyone’s various MCs’ blood taste like? There could be delightful variety based on the details of the various MCs’ personalities and personal life histories, I’ve seen some explorations on the dash here and there which is delightful, and I’d shan’t say no to seeing more. It is a beautiful opportunity for character exploration regarding the MC, Astarion’s perception of them, the reality of who they are (and perhaps Astarion shifting said perception of them), and all around a great potential moment to have some fun writing descriptive prose if one is so inclined. One internet search later, I will say that it appears that reddit and other google search sources do seem to suggest that in real life the blood from various different species of animals looks and tastes different from one another, even without going into factors such as age and health’s impact on blood. If we as normal humans are able to tell the difference in that, it seems reasonable to think Astarion would be able to do that and more with supernatural augmentation as the basis for that line of thinking. What do people smell like to him? Different from one another one might suppose. Is that part of what informs his imaginings and wonderings about how their companions’ blood might taste? Individuals tend to smell unique to some degree, due to body chemistry among other factors. One would expect blood to be a factor in that, seeing as that’s how many hormones and such get sent about the circulatory system—which might mean Astarion (and our potential future weregnome companion) may have more of a time having to deal with the whole party foregoing soap for better or for worse, unless Gale or Shadowheart have a Summon/Conjure Soap spell, or perhaps the MC is a ranger who can find a soap plant. Not a great time to have a sensitive nose potentially, though foregoing soap and thus additional layered scents like floral infusions and such might be beneficial. One can only imagine hunting might turn out better for the entire party’s dinner-scrounging efforts by not alerting the local wildlife that there’s someone about who smells like a potpourri bowl...though that’s another idea, does Astarion volunteer to go hunting moreso for the party in order to be able to drain blood from the kills? One would bleed and gut a carcass anyway as part of the processing, so who would know if he drank it dry versus bled it out with a knife from a tree? Moving on though, imagine what it must’ve been like the first time after he rose up from being turned and he smelled another living person’s blood, only to feel his mouth suddenly start watering. Was he confused? Repulsed? Horrified? Startled, but accepting? There’s potential ripe for the picking to interpret that in any number of ways, including conflicted and complicated in multiple directions all at once, which his actions and emotional depictions might suggest so far in early access. Imagine the torment of being ravenous every night—and I am personally impressed that Astarion actually can keep his mental faculties and presentation together well enough to seduce someone given potential speculation of his physical state,—and knowing only a meager portion of the most putrid, rotting rat flesh awaited him back at Cazador’s mansion, while he had to interact and seduce with people who smelled just so good to his vampiric senses. Consider the added twist of the knife in Cazador’s torment of Astarion with the fact that one can consider saliva to be filtered blood—if one headcanons Astarion as actually being quite physical with his seduction up to and including kissing of any kind. Consider also, the fact that if Astarion has shared a kiss with one of the unfortunate victims-to-be, he might have more of an idea of what they might taste like but must also now sit and SMELL their fresh-spilled blood right from the vein, right there in front of him, and watch while Cazador enjoys his own supper, while being forced to down a disgusting rotting carcass under threat of punishment. [in-post content warning: Graphic description of rotting dead rat carcass, food, maggots, etc in the next paragraph] Did Astarion throw up the first several times? Cazador would’ve surely punished him for so “rudely” rejecting a dinner all set out especially for Astarion and everything. To get to the point where one can consume let alone look at and smell a plate of rotting food,—specifically a dead rat with the fur still attached, the guts bloating up and putrifying from within, that very well might have live, wriggling maggots in it,—and not vomit? It must be one hell of a potent cocktail mix between primal hunger-driven desperation and fear of punishment applied over a prolonged period of time for Astarion to actually be able to consume that, let alone look upon it. This essay by the by will not be doing any in-depth exploration of the overarching situation relating to the victims’ point of view, as I feel that’s been implied in previous meta posts by both myself and others on Astarion, in the “Clearly The Other Victims Have It Bad Too And No One Deserves To Suffer Cazador” thread of implications.  We are however acknowledging that all of this experience for everyone else, aside from Cazador, is Fucked Up And Very Very Bad. Continuing past acknowledgements of the large moral cluster of ideas over yonder, let us move forward into the “present” time when Astarion has joined the party, and no one is as of yet aware that he is a vampire. Consider the scenario where he can smell their individual scents, but it’s nothing he hasn’t handled before, even if he seems to be...curiously free of the immediate need to get back to Cazador right away, while still wrapping his head around this bizarre new reality of walking in the sun. The inescapable reality of how different everything looks bathed in the all encompassing colors of sunlight, compared to moonlight and lantern light. Be it the blinding yellow, white, and blue of the noon time sun, or the violent golds, oranges, reds clashing against the violently deep blue shadows of night’s approach during the fall of twilight, or the brilliant and mellow pale grandeur of all the world’s color coming to life as the dawn breaks forth...it has been so long since last he saw any of that. Do you think he sat up specifically to watch that first dawn, while the other companions slept? It’s a beautiful thought. But I would follow that with the unfortunate potential consideration that he is starving—and when hunger eats away at one’s mind for long enough and in a demanding enough fashion, it can be remarkably difficult for a person to feel much of anything save very faint echoes of emotions or on the other extreme end only the strongest emotions, and more often than not those emotions are very likely to be the negative ones. Just about nobody’s happy when they’re starving after all. Astarion may very well feel awe at seeing the dawn again, but how deep does that feeling go, when instinct is screaming and gnawing at his very bones to insist that he is hungry? Famished. Starving. Appreciation for beauty is a privilege that is hard to enjoy at all in any degree of depth when the basic needs are wailing inside one’s head so loudly.  And he can smell his companions’ blood, even when they’re not bleeding. He has also smelled their blood spill out into the open air too, during fighting. How does that eat at him, how does that sharpen his appetite so? Does it make his stomach twist in pain to smell what his senses are clamoring for and labeling as food so close, so near, as he slowly loses his mind waiting all day for the party to break camp so he can try to slip away and hunt? Does he catch anything? He does find some animals canonically in some encounters, but there is no guarantee he will find enough without expending strenuous effort, assuming he finds anything at all on a given night. And his luck does run out eventually it would seem. One night he just doesn’t have any reserves left in him to go hunt down another animal, to take another gamble that’s stacked even higher against him with how badly off he is. Does he feel an uncomfortable chill set in, cooling his blood and rendering his flesh even colder than his normally low body temperature standards as his undead form slips just a little bit closer to a semblance of true death, whether or not he can starve to death as a vampire? Do his hands shake? Can he think at all as thoughts fade in and out from hunger-induced weakness? Can he think through the haze of sensation and awareness if he breathes in through his nose, his open mouth, inhaling a lungful of the smell and taste of living blood right there? The smells that he’s grown familiar with over these last few days? The companion origin for Astarion definitely seems to spin it towards needing to know if he can resist Cazador’s orders now, but consider this thought: imagine the progression of realization that Astarion might have as he considers the idea that he could resist Cazador’s rules, with the lack of magical-compulsion to return to Cazador’s side right away. That if Astarion himself is no longer bound by those supernatural, unyielding, magically-enforced laws, he can also drink the blood of thinking creatures. He can drink the blood of people. He can drink the blood that he’s been smelling the enticing scents of this entire time. The blood that is right. There. And he is starving. Imagine how that must feel, that pupil-dilating moment of realization as muscles tense and the next breath comes in as a sharp inhale at the instantaneous, primal understanding that you can have food, real food, good food, right then and there when you feel like you’re dying for something, anything to stop the hunger from eating you alive from the inside out. And all you have to do, is take it. Humans in real life can potentially have very predatory responses to hunger at times, especially when it comes to hunting down prey animals, and when it comes to spotting an easy meal when one is working on empty reserves. Imagine how that can scale up for a vampire...and for Astarion, this is the first time he’s been free to actually choose to act on those instincts. Cazador’s rules have always been the backbone holding him in place as surely as the mindflayer prison pods kept everyone well and truly trapped—until our merry lot was broken free. Now though? The only thing standing between Astarion and his sleeping, delicious-smelling companions’ blood, is his own will and choice. That has to be equal parts exhilarating and terrifying. He’s never been free like this—free, with vampiric needs clamouring for his attention. Free, as a vampire, spawn or otherwise. But does he want to? I would actually suspect he feels conflicted about that on multiple levels, given a possible line Auntie Ethel might say should you fight her. ”You’re one thirsty night away from betraying everyone!” [One of Auntie Ethel’s taunts when using Vicious Mockery during her potential fight, linked here in astarions-ears’s post.] On the one hand: the power to take what he wants, what he needs, is at his fingertips. Much like how the power of the tadpole is. It could help him protect himself, be stronger, do whatever he wants...just like the tadpole power. This whole situation is a mess of temptation in the long term for Astarion in so many ways. On the other hand though...I suspect based on that line from Ethel above, assuming it makes it into the final version of the game, given that it’s used during a casting of Vicious Mockery, I would say there’s fair grounds to assume Astarion does have at least reservations about betraying the party, at the very least with the hesitation given rise from self-serving desires such as wanting to have a group of people in his corner. I would say though, it wouldn’t cut so deep, and wouldn’t be so vicious a mockery, if he didn’t care that it was betrayal. I think it safe to say that if he truly didn’t care in some shape or form, Ethel would’ve ended up mocking some other aspect of Astarion’s personality or insecurities, likely something along the lines that everything he does is futile as he will still end up killed or enslaved by either Cazador or others (such as the party and MC having so much sway over his life and choices), rather than needling him about betrayal of all things.  Another reservation he might have from lack of experience is that he’s never hunted other people for his own food before. He might never have hunted for someone personally of his own free will before this point, either. That little nuance could be a hook on which he hangs onto for dear life—or unlife—in order to keep what remains of his perceived identity. Who does he want to be, and among those details, what must he be, in order to survive? What can he avoid doing? Does he want to be what he perceives as a monster? Is he hoping not to become a monster, to validate that he isn’t one already, based on his conversation after you catch him trying to steal some of the MC’s blood? “I’m not some monster!” There’s also the line from the post-Raphael first meeting, “If I keep the tadpole, I risk turning into a monster.” which all seem to imply that Astarion draws a line between what he thinks is and isn’t monstrous, much like in the first meeting with Astarion where if you tell him about the tadpole, he laughs bitterly and goes, “Of course it’ll turn me into a monster.” Isn’t that an interesting turn of phrase? It implies so much fertile ground for speculating on what he thinks of both his own vampirism, and what precisely makes someone or something a monster. The MC has come into Astarion’s life at such a fascinatingly crucial point in time, beyond just Astarion’s sudden new freedom, however fragile, from Cazador. Because of that freedom, this is also the time of exploration and self-definition for Astarion to decide who he is, and who he will be, a coming-of-age if you will, which is hysterically ironic and well-played by Larian Studios in my opinion given that he is almost assuredly going to be the chronologically oldest member of the main party. This dovetails so very neatly into the MC’s already obvious potential influence on how Astarion views his condition, other people, the world around him, his own self and morality...it’s really just so rife with potential. This particular part is nothing too new, just added detail and layering on top of previous musings in past posts, but there are elements of interest to examine I think. Personally, I was inclined to guess Astarion as being older, even as elves go, based largely on the fine lines one can see upon his face when he’s emoting, some elements of his attitude and dialogue—(“A fine effort, but I’ve seen it all. I was walking this land while your ancestors were learning to crawl.” - said if you fail a skill check during his recruitment scuffle)—but looking at some of these other elements has me reconsidering that. Perhaps he was more on the young adult side of the elven age range, rather than middle aged prior to being turned? If he can retain scars as a vampire under the living conditions Cazador subjected him to, perhaps he also has stress-related aging tells, since it seems from other DND materials (Curse of Strahd I believe has a vampire locked in a basement that’s largely starved of blood if I recall correctly? I am uncertain of the details regarding the situation unfortunately) that vampires can at least show physical deterioration when it comes to being starved for blood. It would be an entertaining take in my personal opinion to see an older character having a coming-of-age growth type arc, since those are almost always strongly associated with a relatively narrow range of ages from teenaged-to-middle-twenties-ish protagonists and characters. Whichever way Larian goes with it though, it is looking quite promising just based on the overall quality of the various game elements so far. To build on that possible theme interpretation though, there is another element that I think ties into Astarion’s uncertain age as well—how much he remembers of his life before Cazador, and how much life there was to remember to begin with. One might generally presume that the older a character is, the more time they’ve had and thus more opportunity to learn, to be exposed to life experiences, to garner wisdom. Often, this also tends towards a certain amount of cementing of a person’s outlook, personality, and other core traits along with potential varying levels of self-awareness regarding those elements. It goes without saying that people do still change sometimes dramatically other times gradually over the course of their lives, but typically the more easily-influenced vibes commonly go with younger and/or more naive character builds, though not always of course. Without addressing significant or otherwise notable exceptions, specific nuances or variations though, there is something of a vague expectation and template starting-base that older characters and personalities are typically more “put together”, “collected”, and less likely to be outright mutable. Astarion though? As a character in an RPG that is built upon the foundations of choices, in a DND world where choice IS the defining feature in both character expression and storytelling? His core will remain as himself I’m sure, but by the very nature of the game attempting to make this an enjoyable experience for the audience, odds are very good that Astarion will be heavily influenced in his outlook into a set number of branched endings based on what the MC chooses to say and do. But I have some potential suspicions now that Astarion might actually be a touch more malleable in some parts of his outlook and manner beyond the influence of just the aforementioned elements above. Consider the following lines Astarion currently has in Early Access, including one mentioned previously: “Hell’s teeth! Was solid food always so foul?” [Said in the previously posted link above when eating a treacle tart for presumably the first time, stolen from Auntie Ethel’s before illusion is lifted.] “I’ve seen so little of the world. Still, there’s time now.” [Looking at a globe, post linked here, from Pjenn’s blog] “I haven’t spent much time with helpless old ladies. Was that normal?” [If you kill Mayrina’s brothers and Auntie Ethel disappears into thin air. Video from Danaduchy on youtube linked here] “Probably wise. No one gets that old and crooked playing by the rules.” [Same conversation as above mentioned in the video regarding Auntie Ethel if the second option “I’m not sure. We should watch ourselves around her.” is chosen in response to Astarion’s question.] While one could certainly retain youthful or what one might call immature or dramatic inclinations even through to one’s golden years, I am on the fence on how far Astarion’s presentation is strictly personality-based versus influenced by a possible lack of diverse life experiences. Nature versus nurture, as it were. The first of the above quotes seem to suggest he hasn’t done much traveling, and may have some wanderlust in him (potentially hinting at moon elf wanderlust leanings?), but then why wasn’t he out traveling? Why did he become a magistrate? There is much life to be lived in great depth and diversity when one stays in one place, true. But we really know so little about Astarion’s past before Cazador, all in all, and that intriguingly puts him back in step with most of the other companions at this point of backstory reveal, I’d say. If we include Cazador’s influence, I’d say we’ve seen quite a bit more of his story than most of the others because there’s a lot more visibility and immediately-threatening emotional tension in his story, even when compared to Gale’s, surprisingly, followed by Wyll’s, Shadowheart’s, and then Lae’zel’s as of what I personally have seen of their stories (my knowledge may be lacking, even as far as Early Access content goes.) To be fair though, Astarion is the one who thus far shows the most visible, dramatic expressions of fear and trauma regarding his backstory than all the rest, so that would be a major factor as to why it feels like we’ve seen more of his tale, among other factors. Regarding life experiences within a more geographically limited area though—that puts some of Astarion’s comments as even more markedly odd to me. Specifically those comments of his after Auntie Ethel poofs away into thin air, should the party slay Mayrina’s brothers for Ethel, “I haven’t spent much time with helpless old ladies.” Perhaps his specification is the helpless part, but even if he was spending time with powerful old ladies, who asks “is it normal for the elderly to disappear into thin air like that?” He must have met some older people, ladies included, as Baldur’s Gate is not a strictly elven city, according to the wiki its demographics are mostly human but widely diverse. [Link to wiki page here.] This is especially strange if he’s of a noble background and was ostensibly working with other government officials, one would expect a range of ages with plenty of older individuals present both in his work and social circles, even if only in passing. That’s just not adding up, especially if it’s a genuine question, which his expressions and tone of voice during his inquiry in addition to his responses afterwards to the MC’s various dialogue options all seem to suggest if not confirm. If that question was coming from a young character who hasn’t seen the world, one would assume they were just incredibly sheltered. What does it mean coming from Astarion? What’s even stranger is that Astarion is the one who baits the MC into a trap using a similar disception upon meeting—”Hurry, I’ve got one of those brain things cornered!” One would think Astarion would recognize a ruse like that as one of the oldest tricks in the book: pretend to be helpless to get someone else to do the dirty work for you. Such a trick often is pulled off well especially when the pretender is either a) pretty/handsome, b) innocent looking (young or otherwise), c) dressed in a uniform or clothes that have helpful connotations for snap judgements in one’s favor (e.g. wearing good-aligned clergy garments), d) helpless looking (young, old, specific subgroups depending on culture, disabled, etc), or has other elements to their advantage there. If Astarion doesn’t recognize that particular ruse, which he doesn’t seem to, that has additional implications going on for him. If he did recognize the ruse, one would expect his reaction to be much more in line with Shadowheart’s. If he recognized it and was hiding it, one would think he wouldn’t want to play stupid, if only for pride’s sake—for all that Astarion has done things that have unquestionably humbled him, his penchant for verbal wit and criticism (various insults aimed at the MC and others regarding their intellect/stupidity) and touchy ego makes playing stupid seem like a very emotionally taxing and potentially painful thing for him to do, and thus not worth the mental/emotional effort in what looks like a very low-stakes situation. He seems too impulsive and reactive to be planning out a long-term con of hiding his intelligence, he makes far too many quips to pull that off at this point. Assuming Astarion does indeed not recognize the ruse beforehand, some of the possible implications for that could speculate on his overall awareness of his techniques when it comes to deception and manipulation. He definitely can spot it on occasion based on a narrated internal monologue line presumably from his origin— *I gave her a hard look. Never play a player.* [Linked to the audio of this line here from scionsandsinners’s blog] That he spots it in the potential origin line above, but presumably not with Auntie Ethel, might suggest that his experience is likely limited to within certain restricted lanes of behavior, likely seduction were one to guess based on what we know of his backstory and some datamined emotional directions/descriptions for voice acting, along with speculation based on his in-game behavior and demeanor. That would potentially push him moreso towards appearing when being manipulative to be doing so out of either self-perceived need (e.g. defending personal interests, inquiring after information of interest, etc), learned response, social norms, and other short term motivations that are more situational than long-term planning. I admit I’m still personally not of the opinion he’s playing a long-term game, and is playing it by ear as he goes—both honestly and not-so-honestly, as mentioned in previous posts on the subject. [Mentioned past essay post of mine linked here] In regards to short-term machinations, I think they’re all largely emotion or survival driven, as far as we’ve seen. I would include the voice acting direction for the romance scene where it’s noted that this is a power game for Astarion and that he’s an old hand at seducing others. Specifically from the synopsis: “For Astarion, this is a game of power - one he’s played many times before in the taverns of Baldur’s Gate, trying to lure people back to his master. He’s an old hand at seduction, very self-assured at first, but the player might not go along with the script he expects them to follow.” [Link to Pjenn’s post here.] I’ve seen intriguing, angsty, and fun takes on what this might mean all around tumblr, so allow me to offer up an additional one that might either compliment some of the already circulating pre-existing ones, or stand on its own depending on personal preference. Consider what power means to Astarion in the context of seducing someone specifically when it’s to lure them back to Cazador’s mansion under orders. It truly isn’t power in the sense of anything one might consider meaningful even under broad definitions. It’s a short-term deception, appealing to someone enough to get them to do what he wants for a short time, likely just enough time to flirt and then bait them back to Cazador’s estate (we’ll be skipping over speculation of anything else Astarion and company might get up to between point A and point B in this essay for simplicity’s sake, though there is much to consider on how it might impact his behavior and outlook there.) One of the specific words of interest I would say is the use of “script” in there. I’m sure others can hear it too when they listen to his dialogue during the party romance scene, but it really does sound like he’s putting on a tried-and-true act that might come across as a little over the top in romantic-dramatic-flair. One potential inference that can be gleaned from this might be some of Astarion’s expectations regarding how people perceive him, and most specifically how people perceive him in a desirous way. I will admit, Astarion’s romance scene makes me laugh, I'm impressed he and the MC both can avoid laughing at his lines in-scene, no disrespect intended. To me, he sounds like he ripped those lines straight out of a torrid romance novel, the kind where women might have a momentary description of heaving, delicate bosoms barely constrained by their bodice laces, while the men have had their shirts ripped open to display rippling muscles in a moment of romantic daring do. It makes me wonder if someone will go with a modern AU idea of BG3′s main crew that includes Astarion moonlighting as a much beloved romance/erotica writer under a nom de plume—the man has lines and characteristics that would shift well in such a verse-transposition. With that comparison in mind, I would suggest that Astarion is very, very used to playing the role of the illicit lover, the tempter of passions and other archetypes wherein he is the one confidently enticing people to cross the line of propriety with him for the implied, unspoken promise of a night filled with unparalleled ravishment. It might be he is fully, intentionally playing up to people’s fantasies about the passionate lover who falls madly in love with them at first glance. The fantasy of being so madly desired, as put forth by some romance stories. Then we have this other portion of the acting direction for the scene, “... very self-assured at first, but the player might not go along with the script he expects them to follow.” Isn’t that interesting? “Very self-assured at first,” why only at first? What changes? Does he have little doubts springing to mind then, because the realization that he knew, but didn’t really know until this moment when he feels the difference, that this isn’t just another routine night like all those other countless nights over the past two centuries where he had to tempt some poor, unfortunate soul back to Cazador’s waiting clutches? That this is someone he’s picked to spend the night with, solely for his own motivations, with no one else pulling the strings? Is it another moment of the realization of freedom, wherein he feels a touch terrified? Suddenly there is no script, there is no expectation of what he’s seen happen time after time after time after time to each person who’s looked at him the way the MC is looking at him now. Is it anxiety? Is it trauma? Is he feeling a moment of distant, cognitive dissonance that this time, this time, this person whom he’s picked, won’t be dead at the end of this? That he doesn’t have to hold them at arm’s length with the they’ll be dead soon or worse mentality he may have had previously...but can he afford to care? Does he dare? Whether he does or does not, it could be such a scary little moment of epiphany, that he even has the option to do so without immediate, horrendous repercussions. But can he really care, even without Cazador looming overhead as an immediate threat? Even if Cazador is slightly more distant now...there’s still the matter of the tadpoles. There is so much uncertainty potentially. Could this be the last chance he gets at having as close to a normal night of fully consenting, fully aware, mutual passion with another person as he can ever have, as a vampire spawn? Astarion could be interpreted as a character who is very strongly ruled by his emotions, in particular his fears and his desires. Does it befit his fears or his wants more to engage as he does in the romance scene? I’d guess moreso his fears, but it’s a fun back-and-forth he’s got as a character, zigzagging between those two extremes. He fears trusting as denoted in the dialogue from him if you fail the persuasion check asking him to trust you and to talk about who he dreamed about, but since you can persuade him...does that mean he wants to trust? If he speaks truthfully in this following scene, he does trust the MC to some degree out of necessity and/or the want to trust, as mentioned if you use the illithid powers in the camp bite scene where he’s revealed to be a vampire. He has likely been alone among the crowd of Cazador’s other spawn, given the lack of mention of anyone else, friend or otherwise, in his banter with Shadowheart regarding if there was anyone waiting for him back in Baldur’s Gate and other general conversations and discussions. That’s rather concerning truth be told, to go two hundred years with what might be a complete lack of positive or healthy social connection. Another thing Cazador has ripped away intentionally, it would seem. Does he want connection, meaningful friendship or otherwise? The fact that his approval rating has an impact on his manner of address of the MC or other selected origin character seems like it could be read as a suggestion that he does show whom he likes and dislikes openly in fairly standard socializing behaviors. That he does want to spend time around people whom he likes, who like him back. What would’ve been terribly clever of Larian (said without being able to compare all the different levels of approval shown via dialogue general greetings from the different companions), is if they had a character whose greeting was still amicable, polite, and most importantly friendly even when their approval of you was low. What if such a theoretical character’s greetings never changed, or changed very little aside from some variation at higher approval levels? That could be a great little twist of game mechanics to show either Something Isn’t Right, or that the character is a great liar, through meta knowledge on the player’s part of comparing all these disparate little details to compare and contrast. That kind of tell could be used to show that a character lacks either a degree of empathy and care for the main character, or that they are keeping the MC at arms’ length regardless of what the MC does (barring some potential high-approval impact and side-quest-completion that leads to influencing such a character, who might otherwise be a betrayer, into remaining loyal.) Seeing as Astarion lacks those major tells as of yet and that he does engage honestly either through persuasion or eventual revelation (such as if you fail the first dream-convo persuasion check, you find out from when he wakes up from nightmares regarding Cazador “reading poetry” what his dreams really were about), one could assume he does, in spite of all he’s been through, despite all the reasons he’s been given to fear, all the repetition beaten into his head to never trust another person ever again or to ever be trusted ever again... ...in spite of all that, perhaps a part of him still wants to reach out and engage with others. That some part of him still wants to interact as most if not all people do, in an emotionally meaningful and honest way. He says to the MC that he thinks they want to be known—and as I’m sure many of you clever lot who are in the shipping business alongside the rest of us have already thought or written out into fic, it very well may be that Astarion wants to be known too. Not just in the romantic or impassioned-love-affair manner of speaking, but simply for who he is, with both the MC and the rest of the group too. Accepted. Does he enjoy the little quips and barbs (assuming he actually is allowed to drink humanoid blood) such as from Shadowheart regarding his vampirism? Does that feel like a new, pleasant normal to him that he likes after a while? A joke between friends? Like the line “You know? I’m a little proud none of you were stupid enough to trust him!” [Linked here from scionsandsinners’s blog] while definitely still sporting his current insultingly low bar of expectations, it could be a nice potential build towards actually getting attached to the group on the whole as friends. Did he have that before he turned at all? Did he want that before? It seems likely given what we’ve seen of his raw emotional drive, that his potential desire for meaningful connection however obscured behind quips and barbs, that those elements were always a part of him in some way, shape or form. Does he remember, though? Or is it potentially something he’s forgotten, to some extent or other? Does he remember vaguely what friendship was like as another hollow memory among many, after so many years of torment wearing away at his mind? Do his friends from life if any still live? That could be bittersweet, if he did leave someone behind from when he was alive, that we might meet in Baldur’s Gate. He calls that Before—that time when he was still alive, before he lay dying and accepted Cazador’s offer of eternal life and was thus turned into a vampire spawn—so long ago it’s ancient history. “Everything before that is so long ago it’s ancient history and everything that came after…well uhm–I’d rather not reflect on it.” [Link here, from scionsandsinners] In some lines, tentatively guessed as post-vampire-status-reveal casual dialogue regarding his past before Cazador, relating to his days as a magistrate, he says he can’t remember what happened too clearly. “I…can’t remember much, truth be told–centuries of torment will do that to you.” [link from scionsandsinners blog]  According to google searches on the internet for DND rules regarding the turning of vampires and vampire spawn, they do seem to retain the memories of their life even into undeath. Astarion certainly could be obfuscating and lying about how much he remembers from back then...but consider this alternative as a possibility: What if he isn’t? [Spoilers for some of the Amnesia game series ahead, specifically Amnesia: The Dark Descent, and the DLC Amnesia: Justine.] What if he does have a certain degree of memory loss? Enter the comparison of Daniel and Justine both from Amnesia: The Dark Descent and the game’s DLC. Astarion, unlike the main character for Amnesia’s main campaign Daniel, did not technically volunteer for memory loss...unless one counts agreeing to take Cazador’s deal as volunteering, specifically without full and knowing consent of what he was getting into. Daniel in comparison knowingly and willingly ingests a potion to erase his memories, and leaves a note to motivate himself and thus the player to follow the course of ensuing events that make up the game. Justine does so in a similar fashion to Daniel, but her memory loss is intentionally temporary, whereas Daniel seems to have meant for it to be of a more permanent fashion. What if part of Cazador’s intentions regarding torturing his spawn, including Astarion, was to break down memories of happier times until those spawn could only remember that they had ever been happy once, not the actual memory, not the actual feeling—only the bitter, hollow forgetfulness and knowledge that they had known, once? Starvation is devastating in many, many, many ways. Ways that are so rarely fully explored in fiction beyond the feeling of extreme hunger. Few, after all, would consider the impact of malnourishment or a constant caloric deficit upon mental faculties unless they have observed it, experienced it, or studied it. It is possible to suffer actual physical brain damage from starving, so one must ask is it so surprising that the ability to think, comprehend, and process information, memory or emotion also falters when under the very real physical stress of prolonged famine? The brain eats up at least a fifth of the baseline caloric intake required for the average person’s bodily needs. It does not compromise well for less without the person in question suffering consequences for most if not all individuals. We know Astarion has not had more than enough to barely survive under Cazador, and the quality has been well below subpar at best. What if, after all he’s been through, with the exhaustion of constant fear and extreme pain, of unending ravenous hunger, and so much more...what if Astarion can’t remember much of before at all? What if he has forgotten chunks of his past? He does remember large, broad brushstrokes yes, the shape of ideas and what he once knew. The home he might long to see that he has not laid eyes upon in centuries [mentioned in the conversation with the Ornate Mirror if Astarion is the one talking to it (or does it require he be the chosen main origin?) I have no source available at this current time alas.] How much of that home does he remember in full? I’m sure he can recall some details...but are they the abstract knowledge of those details of what he knew they were like, or the actual memory?  Can you imagine the added layer of pain for an elf, if Larian is working with any of the racial features involving trancing, or the Reverie, if it’s built based off of the 2e DND Complete Book of Elves excerpt as mentioned in the following linked thread? [Posted by Remathilis, key word phrase is “The Reverie” or “The reverie is akin to sleep”, linked here] Specifically if these elements are at play:  “The reverie is akin to sleep, yet is very much unlike it. When elves enter this state, they vividly relive past memories, those both pleasant and painful. Like the dreaming of humans, elves have no control over which memories rise to the fore when they relinquish their bodies to the reverie. Occasionally, elves do actually dream, but this is not a frequent occurrence and mostly occurs only when they truly sleep.” “Although the reverie provides rest, it is primarily an important memory tool that helps the elf maintain a strong sense of identity. Since their lifespans are so great, elves must periodically recall the events in those hundreds of years that were integral to the making of their personality.”  This is from older versions of DND rules it’s true, but if it still applies, and applies to Astarion? This man has had over two hundred years’ worth of memories full of suffering and torment that, if he’s having traumatic PTSD nightmare episodes also helping to induce a higher frequency of recalling his torment at the hands of Cazador both during those centuries and afterwards, are potentially shaping his personality not only through the channels we can recognize in both fiction and the real world in psychological and physiological terms, but also supernatural or magical influences due to his being an elf and potentially shaped by the influence of what memories his reverie might dredge up. And the larger the number of traumatic, dark, fearful memories he has, the more likely he is to encounter them, especially if they’re coupled with a constant, ongoing fear of knowing these memories will be made anew each night unto infinity if he is stuck bound to Cazador’s service forever. Who wants to bet Cazador knew about this aspect of elven psychology/biology? Or at the very least speculated it, as far as having elven vampire spawn went? It will be interesting to see if there are other elven vampire spawn among Cazador’s underlings—either for the route of Cazador taking a particular extra pleasure in breaking elves because they are supposedly harder to influence in such a manner if he had others before Astarion, or if Astarion was the first elf Cazador turned, then perhaps Astarion received particular, special attention for being seen as an added challenge due to being an elf. Alexander from Amnesia however had to use a slightly defter touch to manipulate Daniel, having not so concrete a hold over him as Cazador over Astarion. But the torture of others, of fleeing to Alexander’s or Cazador’s promise of safety from an impending horror or threat of death, followed by a descent into the dark, unyielding despair of what Daniel or Astarion have done to survive? They do have potential parallels enough to make for a possible AU exploration in fics, certainly. One question that arises in this scenario of comparison though, is how much is Astarion aware of? How much of Cazador’s insidious influence does he recognize, in particular the more subtle parts that have seeped in over the years? Consider then the added layer of stark, blinding contrast, that he now has new memories, of new people, new experiences, in particular ones that are not torture or the anticipation of said torture, and it’s all in the daylight. Memories of daylight the likes of which he’s not had in two hundred years. Consider the mere color contrast from the lighting difference of daylight versus night time, like in the line where he asks  “Was the sky always this blue? It’s magnificent…” [Link here to the audio, presumed triggered after vampire status reveal] If he dreams in reverie and the memory that comes to mind is set in the daytime...would he feel a bit safer in hoping that it will be a safer, better dream, than if it’s set in the night time? Consider how much of a horrible, terror-inducing surprise it might be to dream of a sun-filled garden, only to see an idealized version of Cazador show up, a la the tadpole. That has to be the meanest surprise-twist Astarion could have for a dream setting there. But on other nights if he does not have memories of Cazador or tadpole dreams plaguing him, does he dream of the camp, the companions, the MC, the actions their group has undertaken? What does he think of those dream-memories? Are they only relatively restful compared to the other dark memories lurking in his head, or are these new daylight-filled memories actually objectively restful for him? Perhaps one additional group of reasons he’s willing to join up with the party, is to get away from the memories. With people, there is the added unknown factor of complexity and chemistry, of lives and histories not his own added to the mix of any situation they come across. Of interaction. Of not being left alone to his own thoughts and nightmares. This group’s members aren’t victims meant for Cazador’s fangs and thirst, nor are they Cazador’s spawn, fellow damned souls and torturous devils both who alternate suffering upon the rack and potentially being the ones to turn the rack’s wheels for whoever is tied down upon it that night. Mayhaps Astarion wants to remember more of the things he’s forgotten in the darkness of all the years he’s suffered under Cazador—to make new memories of things he would associate with living, with being free. To fill in the hollowed out abstract memories with fresh, new details of life lived in the sun, in the here and now. Is he aware of just how much he’s forgotten? Even if he isn’t fully cognizant of the full tally of all that he’s potentially lost...it must still hurt to have an idea of how much he’s lost even if he’s only partially aware. In this, he might hold more comparison to Justine from Amnesia’s DLC moreso than Daniel, depending on what choices Astarion makes if he’s the chosen origin, or on the MC’s choices if it’s a custom origin playthrough—with Justine, her choices are all setup and intended to be an exploration of who she is as an exploration of character, to find out if she is capable of mercy and compassion still—while exercising a great deal of monstrous cruelty for her own amusement. With Daniel there is still the solid comparison of thematic elements in that his quest is a desperate pursuit of revenge while trying to outrun a great evil, all while acknowledging that he himself is horrifying as well. Justine’s story would parallel Astarion far more so on the dark path through Baldur’s Gate 3, naturally, whereas Daniel, if one selected the Revenge Ending at the end of Amnesia, has more in common with Astarion’s tentatively projected good route—revenge, while also ending a greater evil than himself. The parallel with Daniel may possibly even include a comparison to Amnesia’s Good Ending depending on what direction Larian takes Astarion’s story in. I doubt Larian would have Astarion become self-sacrificial, but I could see him potentially becoming much more inclined towards helping his friends and party members on a good-aligned path, as he seems at least not entirely unwilling to engage in do-goodery, particularly if bribed enough. There’s also certainly the idea of comparing Daniel being “tainted” as Alexander put it by the Shadow to Astarion’s potential point of view on his vampirism, given some of his expressions at times in emotional scenes relating to it. Then also the comparison of all the horrors Daniel has inflicted upon people, as have Justine and Astarion, and the fact that after the amnestic-influence of their specific story elements in this build, they are ultimately all able to be influenced towards better or worse endings dependent upon more immediate influences, namely the people surrounding them, and less so from long-standing influences of their past such as tradition, upbringing, and other core elements of identity that memory so often brings to the table, or at least helps formulate the detailing of. Justine admittedly does not really have “better” endings, but her horror story’s core could be interpreted as “was truly a monster at heart all along” from start to finish. Will Astarion prove to be similarly corrupt at his core, something that had always been true deep down regardless of Cazador’s influence on him, ultimately sowing harm and ruin upon the world and people around him, like Justine? Or will he turn out to be leaning towards being more of a good-inclined, flawed character with a bloodstained history he regrets and seeks to overcome, like Daniel? As a disclaimer though, Daniel is not a Good-aligned personality. He did many horrifying things to preserve his life, and Astarion certainly has done terrible things canonically under Cazador’s direction, though we still wait to see what Astarion did back when he was free to choose. With the attention to detail Larian Studios is applying as is to just what we’ve seen in Early Access, I would expect a fairly nuanced backstory for Astarion with murky morality, based on what we see of his opinions and character traits now. Another idea just to let loose an additional fox among the chickens: Consider the added layer of potential morality conflict in the scenario where Astarion might actually have very well been pursuing his idea of justice as a magistrate— coupled with his low opinions of others which he may have had before Cazador turned him, along with his racist/discriminatory comments and behaviors (re: Gur, Goblins, Gnomes, Kobolds, etc), likely suggests he could very well have been very biased in his perspective on how he meted out justice. I would not be surprised if Larian Studios kept the story idea that he was selling criminals off, but I also would not be at all shocked if they added details where it made what Astarion was dishing out closer to overly-harsh street-justice—he makes a fine murder-hobo adventurer as it is when the watchword of the day for many an adventuring party is “Murder Is An Acceptable Solution If Words Aren’t Working.” I also wouldn’t bat an eye should we find out he was as judgmental and cynical before Cazador as he is now, albeit perhaps with a different bend to his outlook from life experience influences. This all really ties in well with the usual game build of everyone starting at level one, as brand new, green adventurers—barring past adventuring experiences for backstory like Wyll, Lae’zel, and Shadowheart do or potentially have—at the start of their journey, off to explore the world and grow into the world-savers (or world-enders) they’re destined to be in a given campaign. Astarion fits this very well on many levels, among them given the fact how new everything is to him with this sudden change of the rules altering the very fabric of his existence. He has to deal with figuring out how to deal with his vampirism under his own agency and all the ensuing complications that come with that, has to figure out how to socially interact with others in all new ways, has to level up to go on his personal quest to save his own hide and eventually his friends’ and the world—it’s all so new and different, even the things he’s experienced before with such a drastic perspective shift and a change in power. It ties right back into his tagline so nicely too if that ends up being a possible theme of his, the whole memory-loss/memory-informing-his-identity element of being an elf: “ Astarion prowled the night as a vampire spawn for centuries, serving a sadistic master until he was snatched away. Now he can walk in the light, but can he leave his wicked past behind?” Can he leave those memories behind and forge himself into a better version of himself, if that is what he wants? What choices will Astarion make, if he does indeed have warped memories due to Cazador’s corroding influence to the point of some degree of memory loss? How will this flood of new sensory and social experiences change him as he goes forward? Who will Astarion choose to be, at the end of the day when they reach the road’s end? Will he let those dark memories twist and shape him, or will he try to make new ones among new friends, and follow their lead back into the sunlight? So many potential questions! Speaking of potential good-versus-bad-paths, this line isn’t in the game yet, but I feel it suggests Astarion might have a certain tolerance or perhaps even willingness to at least consider going out and saving the world, beyond lines we’re all familiar with already at the Tiefling celebration party: “Don’t you think we have other priorities right now? We need to save ourselves before we can save the world.” [Link here from Pjenn’s datamined post, dialogue theoretically occurs after a currently locked-off from Early Access encounter with a drow servant of the Absolute in the Underdark] It makes for a lot of intriguing possibilities, I dare say, all of which could make for marvelous variations in core character trait builds and influences for different interpretations of Astarion as a character. So many choices and gradients to play with, he and all the rest of the main cast have such nuance, it’s fantastic. The cast of characters all so far seem to have a wide variety of wants and motivations, and Larian seems like they might be quite determined to blur the line and inspire more rich exploration opportunities regarding perceived morality among many other potential topics of discussion—we have good characters with on-going flaws and darker motivations, evil characters with recurrent virtues and sympathetic appeal, and quite a few in-between when non-party-member NPCs are included in the mix. I do think Astarion along with all the rest of the party fit into those kinds of complicated-morality situations we’ve seen play out and be hinted at so very nicely, and it will be such fun to see how they grow through these experiences! It’s marvelous writing, directing, animation, acting, and just straight up work all across the board it looks like from over here. Anyway, thank you all for coming along on this literary ramble with me, I hope you had a fine time and that you all have a lovely day or night as befits your current timezone. Happy tidings to you, and stay safe everyone, and see you next time! :D

              alright  !!  i ’ ve  complied  some  new  muses  that  i  will  be  adding  to  this  blog  !  i’ll  be  working  on  adding  them  to  my  muse  list  in  the  next  few  days  (  or  so  ...  )  while  i  edit  a  few  things  on  here  .

miu iruma : secondary list

miu comes from danganronpa v3 . she’s a very loud & crude person who speaks her mind , full stop . i’ve portrayed her briefly on another rp multimse , but alas , i’ve abandoned that blog . i wish to change her up a bit & make her a lot less crude . i will still stay true to her character mostly , but i will tone her down a bit because she’s the type to say ANYTHING to WHOEVER & that’d be too much lol !

gaito kurouzu : secondary list

another muse i briefly portrayed while i took sometime off the tumblr rp scene . i enjoyed my time rp-ing as him but the chatrooms didn’t fulfill my rp wants like the community on tumblr, so here we are ! giving it a go again ! things i would like to see happen for gaito ? well i’d like to look into his fear of cats more & other stuff regarding his motivation . ngl , i wasn’t a fan of the explanation on why he suddenly up & left his house sooo i’m gonna headcanon the hell out of him .

shido magoroku : secondary list

he’s funny ! i need more doofuses on this blog , ok & he’s hands down best doofus i’ve seen in a while . i enjoy him & i’m sure many will too ! what do i want out of him ? some laughs & lonely child needs some damn friends ! LONELY CHILD NEEDS SOME DAMN FRIENDS !

ikazuchi ( bolt fuchigami )

another muse i wanted to try out but ended up not placing him on the blog . now that there are more FCBF muses i’ll add him ! i can make some au’s for him too ! maybe a demon slayer verse or something ? breathe of thunder all the way ! btw , i’m more inclined to portray him as ikazuchi rather than bolt ( i’ll get into more detail on his about page ) .

gwyn ronny : secondary list ( considering main tbh )

the moment i saw this boy i thought he wasn’t human . i’m gonna keep it brief ( lord knows i could go on ) but gwyn gives me hardcore faerie/starchild vibes ... SO IMMA HEADCANON HIM TO HELL .

mitsuru ichihoshi : secondary list

aaaaaaaa , i love this starboy !! i was thinking about adding him but opted not to . & yes , to those that know -- i will be portraying mitsuru not hikaru . because i have shirou & i’m playing him in his original verse ( which is similar to hikaru’s ) i’m gonna be portraying mitsuru in an au . a lot of headcanon’s with this one .

valentine : secondary muse

yet another muse that i’ve written elsewhere at one point ! due to her appearance & aesthetics n shit , she’s primarily seen as like ... a fanservice character but i ( & many others ) know that she’s so much more than that ! i actually love her so much but feared too many ppl would only interact with her for smut ( i’ve had ppl ignore this rule on old blogs & on other platforms as well ) . she’s a sad villain tbh & i want to explore that !!

eliza : secondary muse

she’s just great ! pure evil  -- i love it . blood manipulating powers presented nicely . eliza is another fav of mine from skullgirls ( aside from valentine & double ) .

mitsuri kanroji : request / selective list

i really really want to give mitsuri a shot as a muse but i wasn’t that confident in my ability to . i decided to try but i’ll be fairly selective with who i use with her for now ( only for my own comfort ;w; ) .

kanae kocho : request / selective list

i want to give kanae a try , but due to her backstory --- all possible interactions with her will be plotted & have a storyline to a slight degree. random memes can be sent to her , but only after we’ve discussed a plot of some sort . both kocho sisters on this blog are linked in a way , so kanae is mostly here for younger shinobu days , but now there’s an option of having a thread with just kanae !! yay ! *ugly cries*

sassy : fandomless oc on @sassysnax

oh , hey !! a fandomless oc i’ve been working on in the last lil bit ! it’s a horror oc ( cuz ya girl just loves hORROR BABY ) based off of one of my bunnies !! yes , u read that correctly ! my rabbit sassy ( i had for 9 years ) was very peculiar . a lot of rabbits have unique personalities & i’ve grown up with them all my life & never have i seen one act that much like the other . they had distinct personalities -- but sassy was by far the funniest ! in fact , part of my main oc ( hiromi konoe from @wiccanflare ) has some personality inspo from her . obviously , it’s exaggerated to the max & combined with my close friends tho --- but anyway , i decided to make an oc purely based on my dear sassy . btw , due to the nature of the blog , major trigger warnings for fake blood portrayed as real , fake gore portrayed as real , weapons , religious themes , themes of death , partial nudity ( nothing necessarily sexual in nature ) & creepy teeth ? all will be tagged of course , but these themes will be present in writing & visuals . btw , this is a sideblog to this one so i won’t be able to follow back from that blog .

if anyone wants to plot with one of these muses or get a starter written out for them , i can still do that even if they aren’t listed yet ! feel free to jump in the im’s at any time !!! 

9, 10, 13

muse headcanon questions inspired by the major arcana of the tarot || accepting

09.  the hermit  : how introspective is your muse ? how often do they self - reflect ?

10.  the wheel of fortune  : how well / badly does your muse take setbacks on their goals ?

13.  death  :  is there anything in your muse’s life that they should be letting go of ?

09.

// I believe in every Targonian religion self-reflect is an important phase for every acolyte. And this includes Lunari as well.

Albeit many people believe it’s a relaxing activity, it may turn out to be a leap in the dark, for it may make emerge many fears of doubt one attempted to put aside.

That’s what happens often to Nina. She’s a very introspective woman, even though, while meditating, it may cause her to feel discomforting sensations, this mostly due to the tragic experienced she witnessed and felt on her own skin. Often, she compares self-reflect to letting oneself go among the water, and letting it take you somewhere you don’t know. You’re unaware of the destination, and so of what you might meet in your journey.

What has she met so far?

Ironically, I like to consider Nina a disaster, mostly for not having been able to stand on herself while she was alive (She always had a guide, be it her best friend or her father, who somehow guided her/gave her scheme to follow), therefore feeling guilty and fearful by not following/respecting is a thing that she’s been experiencing for so long, even now.

There are so many things she’s fearful about, especially her father’s judgment (What would she think of her now? This regards specific verses, especially when she’s friends with foreigners, or in love with some of them, especially if they’re of her same gender or opposite. And, what would she think of her if he finds out she has killed more than one person, in order to defend herself? And, most gruesome of all... What would her people think of her if they find out when she was alive, she said nothing about the premonitory dream, and she only spoke to a high prophet, who then committed suicide afterward? Regarding this one, is somehow hard to open up about a situation like this one in my opinion, for it’s truly traumatizing and has affected her deeply.)

Sometimes, self-reflect to her is as suffocating as drowning.

[READ MORE SO I WON’T CLUTCH THE DASH WITH MY QUESTIONABLE RAMBLINGS]

10.

// Badly. Truly badly.

Setbacks to her or her people -especially the first one- mean dishonoring her father, and she can’t help remembering all those complains he said to her, starting from the people she hanged with (Her father truly hated her best friend Pasifae, not only because she had a rebellious attitude toward the whole Lunari society and religion, but also because there was a suspect she liked women. Which is true, since Pasifae identified herself as bisexual) to the fact she had to be “the best of the best” in the Lunari temple. 

Regarding her father, he wasn’t a bad person per se, but mostly a scared and hurt one (His hatred toward Solari and foreigner worsened the moment Ra Horak killed his brother, who was a Lunari soldier, during an ambush, and they haven’t even found his body at all to give him a proper burial. Therefore, all those events led him to turn into an extremely protective individual toward his only daughter. Even though he had so many prejudices and conservative opinions, as we can see.)

Regarding the question, this kind of event might even turn out to be extremely dangerous to Nina, for it may make her feel so sick she may even start bleeding and having disturbing visions.

-

13.

// Many things, but the most prominent ones are her mother’s loss and her biggest guilt that I have already mentioned in the first question.

The first one because she’s always looking for a motherly figure in order to cope with the loss of her mother, the woman she loved the most. It’s not rare, once she gets closer to a woman she feels comfortable with, she starts to call them “mom”, because, albeit she’s now found a new family among Lunari, she still feels lost and alone, as if, instead of her heart, there’s a hollow that’s waiting to get filled with something.

However, I suppose this will be really hard for my muse, for she’s always lived with someone by her side who followed/suggested her.

And, well, the latter, which is something that still anguishes her, to the point she attempted to end her life more than once by drowning herself, hoping to reach her beloved one once for all. Which, alas, failed.

doin this trend for most of the main pcp deities i work with so heres my patron, The Carver

General Questions:

1. What is the name of the entity and what is their canon universe? 

The Carver, The King of The Infernous, Emperor Hash'bor'kanibal

The Arkn Mythos 

2. What drew you to this entity? What drew you to their world?

I was introduced to the Arknverse through my partner and I felt a strong pull to him. 

The series is one of my favourites, and, although it took me a while, I eventually csme to him and asked if I could worship him. 

3. Did you choose them or did they tap you? How?

A bit of both, as I felt a pull to worship him, and I wanted to myself either way. 

4. How do you typically communicate? 

I communicate with him through his designated oracle deck, or through what he likes to call "vibes". 

He radiates a very distinct energy for me, so I can feel his emotions and opinions on my choices. 

5. What role does this entity play in their universe?

Ooh, he plays the role of a chaotic grim reaper, in my opinion. 

He has no true side, he works for himself and his own amusement. 

6. What kind of relationship do you have with this entity?

He is my patron deity, and he has lovingly dubbed me his son.

7. What aspects does this entity reside over?

He is the Dekn Lord of Pain, Torment, Suffering, Torture, Cheese, and sometimes Lettuce, The King of the Infernous, the Arkn Lord of Power and Truths, and The Joy of Fear

8. What kinds of offerings do you/would you give this entity?

He's not picky, but he likes cheese, tobacco, booze (specifically whiskey or vodka), spicy foods, weed, knives, and bones.

Non physical offerings include smoking or drinking in his honor, inflicting pain, and drawing blood.

9. What kinds of animals, stones, elements, plants, etc do you associate with this entity? Why?

His symbols are knives, sickles, devil motifs, skulls, cigarettes, blood, crowns, his devil mask, cleavers, guns, and the Dekn Symbol. 

His sacred animals are predators, and his element is fire. 

He likes any darkly colored stones, especially red calcite and bloodstone.

10. Are there any songs, books, or quotes you associate with this entity? Why?

He enjoys Ghost and a lot of more folksy type of songs like "The Devil Wears a Suit and Tie" and "In Hell I'll Be In Good Company".

11. How and when did you first encounter them as an entity? 

I don't exactly remember, but I'd have to say the first time I properly felt his presence in my room was when I was sick, and he was floating above my bed where I was whining to my boyfriend.

He was teasing me about not being able to handle sickness, but he seemed genuinely concerned about me.

12. How are they particularly involved in your life? Do they teach you anything specific? If so, what?

He's decided he's my father, so he's pretty involved, he hangs around me a lot. 

Not really anything specific, more just tellinge when I fuck up or little bits of life advice. 

13. Do they have any identifying symbols in canon or otherwise?

His sickle, his crown, and his mask are the three I can think of. 

14. Do they have alternate versions, verses, or canons? Do you communicate with all or some of them?

I'm sure there are, but I don't speak to them. 

Compare & Contrast:

15. Choose an aleady-existing deity from our world that has similar traits to this entity. How are they similar, and how are they different?

My immediate comparsion is Ares. 

They're both associated with violence, and have shown affection for certain mortals that are good at just that. 

The difference is that Carver is much more interested in the one on one intimacy of inflicting pain on one with your own hands, while Ares is a war god, which id the broader type of violence. 

16. Choose 6 tropes this entity may or does fall under. Explain if you agree or disagree, and why. 

Alas, Poor Villain - Absolutely. He's put through some shit that a regular viewer of the series has trouble watching. I know he's considered a villain, yet every time he gets hurt it hurts me. 

The Chessmaster - He succeeded in an eons long plan to trick a literal god, and he always seems to have every piece in his corner in the games he plays. 

Fallen Angel - Within certain Arkn stories, he is considered a once-great Arkn who was corrupted and defected to the Dekn side. 

Laughably Evil - He's absolutely fucking hilarious. 

Body Horror - I've only seen his true form a few times but holy FUCK is it terrifying. 

Heroic Sacrifice - I'm going to say it now, him letting his body be destroyed to create the new universe wasn't done in heroics. 

17. What academic studies or professions do you associate with this entity, and would you study any of them yourself? Why or why not?

Anything with death, history, or psychology.

I would, but he's a been pushing me to persue something I would genuinely enjoy, lile tattooing or computer programming. 

18. What is something surprising you have learned about this entity when working with them? Why was it surprising?

He's honestly so nice if you're nice to him, which was a little surprising because he's very much not a nice guy.

He's extremely protective of his worshippers/children: I had an issue with Ellpagg (an arkn entity) coming after me for a good while, and Ellpagg finally backed off after Carver beat him into the ground and said he'd chuck him in the Infernous again if he ever tried to lay a finger on me. 

(I was in the middle of a math class while watching that happen lmao) 

19. Is there a common misconception about this entity? What parts are true, and what parts are wrong?

That he's evil and only ever seeks to harm people. 

Evil? Yeah basically I can't argue that away he's done some pretty henious shit. 

But if you respect him and his power he won't bother you.

If you taunt him or disrespect him it will not end well for you.

Especially if you try to hurt him. 

Gods help you if you're one of the people stupid enough to try and hex or curse him.

20. Has some aspect of your life, energy, emotion, or other changed since meeting the entity? What would it be like if you hadn’t?

I've gotten better at standing up to people and defending my loved ones (at the downside of my anger issues getting worse). 

I've accepted my anger and rage much better now, and my energy has become more offensive because of his influence. 

People tend to think that his protection his a negative or bad thing when they first sense something touched by him. 

Self & Shadow

21. What are things this deity is capable of helping you with, personally? How?

He helps accept anger, rage, and violent urges as a natural thing not to be ashamed of. 

He'll teach you how to stand up for yourself properly, and when to not take any shit from stupid people.

22. Has this entity ever refused something to you? If so, what and why?

I mean, he probably has but fuck me if I remember what. 

23. What do you want to learn from this entity? Why?

Everything he has to teach me. 

He doesn't exactly sit me down like it's a fucking school lesson, its a more in the moment teaching style. 

24. Is there an end-goal with this entity, or do you plan on continuing a relationship with them?

He's my patron, he's stuck with me until I die. 

25. Have you ever disagreed with this entity? Why or why not?

Oh, all the time. 

Usually he's right, and if I don't agree with him he just let's me do it my way and then when i fuck it up he smacks the back of my head and says "see, dumbass, i told you so."

26. What does working with this entity reveal about you?

That I'm a raging bitch and if you fuck with me or my loved ones I'm not afraid to fuck up your whole life? 

27. What do you think you should cultivate about yourself to better work with this entity? Why?

Should probably stop being so stubborn but that's not gonna happen, he likes the banter. 

Also need to work on my godphone smh. 

28. Do you have any fears or anxieties about working with this entity? Why?

Nope. Not a single one. I'm not afraid of him and he's made it clear I have no reason to feae anything that could come after me because of him. 

29. What about this entity’s canon has impacted you the most? Why?

Just, the philosophy of it all. 

30. What UPG/Headcanon do you have about this entity? Why?

This man likes FNAF songs. 

I am dead fucking serious. 

31. Choose 3 major differences between their world and this one. Do these differences affect how you interact? 

Too tired to do this fully but no, it doesnt affect how we interact. 

He understands me and why I do the shit I do and I understand him and why he does the shit he does. 

(stolen from @highpriestness )

5. Do they masturbate often? 9. When was the last time they had a wet dream? Bonus if you can describe it as much as you can in detail.22. How does their foreplay go down?

  ❯ 𝗠𝗘𝗠𝗘 –– SINDAY ASKS   ❯ 𝗖𝗨𝗥𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗟𝗬 ––【 ✔︎ 】𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚   ⟫ 𝗙𝗥𝗢𝗠 –– @deviousserpcnt​

5. Do they masturbate often?For short answer, Yes. Sigyn is no exception to the need for sexual satisfaction. She is OFTEN thinking of her and her husband in intimate ways and those daydreams do very much often lead to desires that need to be sated - but she is NOT about to find them sated by anyone, but Loki.- so alas, she DOES masturbate often. 

9. When was the last time they had a wet dream? Bonus if you can describe it as much as you can in detail

The dream occurred to her just before she returned home, after spending 20 years on Midgard, defending it and fighting along-side her Brother-in-law against the “Celestials.” In the dream, Sigyn and Loki were sparring in the privacy of their favorite spot in the forests of Asgard; After she managed to disarm him with one of her moves, she used another one to surprise him with a take-down. After disarming him, she wrapped her legs around his waist and used a swinging motion with her weight and spun him onto the ground on his back, landing her on top, straddling his waist. The maneuver itself, she hadn’t intended to be entirely sensual, but after her high of triumph had faded, it was then she could feel the cloud of sexual tension looming around them, that only seem to intensify as she looked down at his growingly devious grin. She wanted to question it; to play dumb; but instead, she dared herself to do something she’d never done before, merely curious about his reaction. Leaning herself back with gentle pressure, she pressed her covered female area, against the front of his jeans, feeling the presence of his member against her. 

Though her most sensitive area of that part had been covered in clothing, she could still feel pressure being put on it as she sat against him. A mixture of emotions played within her; a clear need for him from her arousal. It built in her abdomen and tormented her core with an intense, throbbing ache. An array of visions played within her head of them at this moment: from fucking each other sore against the ground or a tree. But with that arousal, came an immense fear of being rejected; If she were to be rejected right now, he would have the image of her “needing” expression and actions in his mind. Right now, she compared her moves to that of a harlot; if he rejected her, was that what he would mentally see her as, too? A harlot? 

She was entrusting him with her desires, letting him see her in a very vulnerable state, and it was terrifying. And then, the other emotions that stuck out was curiosity. With her sitting against him still, she dared herself another move. Moving so that his member was practically pressing INTO her through the clothing, she gently rocked her waist in a slow movement; grinding herself against him. The pleasured gasp that left both of them seemed to have intensified the electric sexual tension between them. It was like a wire and every move either of them did, even a subtle shift, seemed to crank something somewhere and tighten the cable. The metaphorical cord blazed a brilliant blue with heat and hummed with a threatening charge, threatening to set fire to itself. Offering him her own devious and mischevious smile, she tilted her head. “Pinned you, hus—”  

Before she could complete her gentle goad, her entire world whirled before her eyes. She gasped at the surprisingly rough and hard grip Loki had on her waist. She’d fully expected him to pull her off him, to reject her. She waited for the giggly ‘you wished,’ from him, but instead, after he lifted her, she watched as the wilderness rushed past her and gasped at the feeling of her back hitting the ground with force enough to shock her but not enough to hurt. Within a second, she could feel her wrists being overlapped and held above her head while another hand between them tugged and destroyed the trousers she wore under her dress. Her clothes felt like fire; the quicker she could get them off the better. Her inner walls clenched inside, knowing that relief would hopefully be soon. Once her trousers were off, she was more relaxed, already opening her legs for her spouse. 

——– and that’s the end of the dream. :D I’m not too sure if she got rejected or not. 

22. How does their foreplay go down? I’ve discovered something that actually surprises me about Sigyn; when it comes to foreplay, I’ve noticed that she likes to make Loki mad? Like not mad as in “crazy” but mad as in “MAD, ANGRY, ETC” At first, she didn’t know what it was about sex after vicious couples fight’s that she particularly loved, until it had happened a few times, when she put two and two together that she thoroughly liked it and began doing things on accident AND on purpose for it to happen. Despite her sweet-shell of innocence, she likes the violence of it. The biting, scratching and desire to take anger OUT on their partner in a way that is mind-freeing but is also still respectful. No one is out to “humiliate” or “degrade” the other. For her, it’s releasing that anger and channeling it into something that they both like. 

Not that she doesn’t also enjoy soft or spontaneous, or any other forms of sex less than the angry sex, but it is a flavor that she OFTEN participates in with Loki. For some reason, after exploring her through writing, I’ve noted a couple things that she does to accomplish this. In particular, I’ve noticed her “picking fights” (not the types that definitely WON’T end in sex…obviously, someone that is sincerely upset about something, offering sex will probably INSULT them and cause further damage) but fights that are not “emotionally” targeting. She basically plays something of a math game. She has an equation: she wants angry sex. So? She’s going to pick fights and see which variable will give her the result she wants. Their BOTH pissed off. Where their anger towards each other has not only boiled their blood but has then made their skin HYPERSENSITIVE. Where the need for not just to scratch, bite and dominate the other, but it is also DESIRED FOR THEMSELVES. It’s consensual, respectful but also frees them of the chains of “self-control” and it also opens up the door for a power play (which is something I’ve also noted about her!? She’s a huge switcher…Especially in this context.) This is actually something, she tries her best to HIDE from Loki, which leads me to the NEXT form of foreplay!

There’s actually ANOTHER form of foreplay that Sigyn particularly likes. Despite her other foreplay, Sigyn is actually quite a shy person when it comes to sex! She’s sexually shy and does not come right out and ask Loki for intimacy. Not because she’s “embarrassed” or “doesn’t want to” by any measure—she’s shy, but she does find Loki INCREDIBLY attractive and has a sexual appetite as active as Loki’s—but because she DEEPLY fears rejection from him in this aspect, which would make her look and feel silly; but she also understands that not all the time, do people want sex. So this leads her to “test the waters” and more shyly approach him by teasing him in very modest ways; Brushing her legs against him (especially on Midgard, where she is usually wearing skirts or shorts (she loves shorts) with her oversized sweaters) to purposefully standing too close, to the point of slightly pressing her body against his, or even wearing clothing (like her sweater) that she feels will interest him. 

As I write her though, I’ve found that there are reasons for these two MAJOR foreplay. 

For the first one, it seems to me that this is Sigyn’s way of allowing Loki to be mad. People on a daily basis, sometimes treat him as though his anger is invalid and that he’s not allowed to express it. Which, she feels that the failure to express that anger, is what leads to the mental anguish he often suffers from. Sex doesn’t help the deeply laced things like the wounds he often suffers from; that would be an ignorant thing to infer and even insensitive for someone like Loki that “oh, you’re emotional… let’s do the do.”  But in this aspect, she is able to help him find an outlet to ‘release’ his anger or simply have SOMETHING to do with it. To not have to control himself or his anger during that particular time of intimacy.

For the second one, it stems from her fear of rejection from Loki. She and Loki have had sex before. He was her first and will always be her ONLY intimate lover. So she DOES know of what she’s wanting. But in her mindset (a bit of a headcanon that seems to have come between yours [deviousserpcnts] and I’ interactions, is that she is convinced that her husband doesn’t love her. It’s not a thought that comes bitterly to her; she knows that sometimes, feelings are just not returned. But besides not loving her, based on some of the things that have happened between them, she’s actually under the impression that he HATES her–however, in our storyline, which honestly? I love? is that it’s actually not that way, apparently–but anyways. Even though she is convinced that he dislikes her, that doesn’t stop her from wanting him intimately. But she is often confused by their still-continued sexual activity. She wants it, and they still do it. But is it okay to ask? So, when she’s under the impression that he wants intimacy (through the things he says and does what she reads as seduction) these fears lead her to try things that can be rejected, that she feels won’t make her look so foolish if he refuses her. So instead of asking, like she wishes to, she will gently tease him; touch his hair, lean over his shoulder, accidentally-on-purpose expose just a little bit of her skin under her sweater or dress, etc. 

She loves Loki and accepts that the feeling (she thinks) is not mutual. Sigyn had never been with a man before Loki. He is her first and only intimate lover. She relies on him, solely, for sexual release. So when that gets shot down, she’s figuratively (but unfortunately, not literally xD) screwed, unless she wants to do number 5! The reason she also tries to hide these foreplays is often that she fears that if he decodes them (if he hasn’t already) as foreplays, that he will cease these actions with her. While they are stimulating, they are often the few moments that she has with him that she feels she means something to him. Among her thoughts of HER being in love with HIM, combated with her thoughts of HIM hating HER, she loves these moments with him, during intimacy, where’s she’s almost able to convince herself that he loves her in return. 

for the apprentice questions, could you do all of them?

Sure! :D I’ll put this under read more because I feel like this will become really long! 

1) Your apprentice was brought along to one of the masquerades with a friend, who promptly ditched them ten minutes into it. What happened? How do they react?

Juniper probably didn’t even notice that they ditched her. ^^ She would most likely just continue doing whatever she was doing previously before her friend left her. Most likely sitting down and eating the food. Or, trying to find a spot to sit at and just sit and listen to the sounds around her. 

2) Does your apprentice get flustered over anything? What make them flustered? Do they turn red? Stumble over words?  

It honestly depends. Most of the time, you’ll rarely find Juniper a flustered mess. She’s usually the one who is causing everyone to become flustered. This is because she’ll like touch your face a lot to memorize it. Or, come really up close to your face. When it comes to our local goat man, she’s a flustering mess because she has a huuuuge crush on him. Other than that, she’s not really so easily flustered? 

3) How would your apprentice handle being so close to something that they desperately want, only to have it ripped away? What was it?

Well, what Juniper desperately wants is for Asra to stay home more. Whenever he goes out in his long journeys, she’s always so anxious and on edge for him because she worries about what could happen to him. 

4) Talk about your Apprentices’ self-esteem

Juniper’s self-esteem, I’d have to say is just average? Like she has those moments where she feels really insecure about how she looks. But, most of them, she doesn’t really care. 

5) What’s one physical flaw about themselves that they hate? Do they have a reason for hating it?

Juniper really dislikes how she was born blind. I mean she has a good reason for hating it, she never really got the chance to witness the world like how everyone else can. She’s always seen the world as pitch darkness. It wasn’t until she got a little bit older that she could see shapes and like distinct lines of things. She also doesn’t really like it when people take pity on her for being blind. It just makes her feel worthless in a way. 

6) Do they have a personality shift depending upon certain people? Who does it change for and how so?

Not really. Juniper acts the same around everyone. 

7) Talk about your apprentices’ backstory. How did they end up with the shop? What’s their relationship (or lack thereof) with their parents? Traumatic childhood maybe?

Juniper was born blind. She lived in a farm for most of her life with her parents and six siblings. She’s the second youngest child besides her younger brother. She was assigned to do the simplest activities because of her blindness. She basically went around the farm doing errands - putting up the laundry, taking the laundry down, and cleaning the laundry. Once she started getting more used to being blind, she started helping her parents with harvesting crops, planting crops, and bringing in new crops. She also helped cooked meals too. Most of the time she did simple tasks. When she was 11, her aunt gave her the shop as a gift. Her aunt who used to love the city was becoming a bit bored of it. So, after giving away the shop to Juniper. her aunt joined their family on the farm. Juniper didn’t officially leave her family’s farm until she was 13. When she was 13, her parents told her how they thought it would be a good idea for her to get out of the farm and experience new things. So, after saying goodbye to her family, she went to the shop. She calls her family a lot and speaks with them about various things - strange customers, trends at the city, the people she “sees”, and her new roommate Asra. 

8) How does your apprentice express affection? Outwardly? More subtle-like?

Juniper is the most affectionate human being in the world. Specifically with Asra, she’s very touchy with him. She’ll sometimes walk by him and touch his hair in some way or another and make comments like “So silky.” or “So soft.” Sometimes, when Asra is sitting down, he’ll notice a weight on his shoulder and see Juniper with her head resting on him. She also loves to give Asra kisses on his cheeks, forehead, nose, ear, basically anywhere. Asra’s face is basically her canvas to kiss on. 

9) Does your apprentice have any special abilities that you headcanon and cannot be accurately expressed in the actual game? What are they?

Hmm…. I’m not really sure if she does have any. :0 

10) What does their living space look like? Is the shop messy or clean?

The shop is clean - except for Asra’s and her’s shared room. It’s as messy as ever. Juniper tries to keep it clean but she gives up halfway through. 

11) Talk about how your apprentice deals with emotions. Both the ones they like to feel, and what they don’t like to feel.

Juniper, as I said, is a child in an adult body. She is a huge crybaby. She’s very emotional when it comes to people she loves. When she loves somebody, she really loves them with all of her heart. When she’s angry, her powers, can become pretty easily unstable. There have been instances where she just lost herself to her anger and actually destroyed a few buildings. 

12) What happens when your apprentice feels upset?

Juniper cries a crap ton and Asra comes over to comfort her in some way or another. Either by talking it out with her, giving her tea, or just rubbing her back and giving her small kisses on the forehead. 

13) What’s your apprentice like when sad? Do they get really depressed? Have they ever hurt themselves out of sadness?

When Juniper is sad, it’s just obvious that she’s sad. Her face is red. Her nose is running. Her lips are quivering. Her eyes start to become watery and then eventually she’ll just start full blown sobbing. There have been moments where she has gotten so upset over something that she didn’t eat anything for a few days. 

14) A small hand-mirror has been sold to your apprentice. When they look into it, it shows their greatest fear come to life – conscious or subconscious. What is it and how does your apprentice react?  

Juniper can’t even see what’s on the mirror. ^^|| Her greatest fear is becoming deaf because I mean that’s the only thing she has left? The moment she becomes deaf, honestly, she would just struggle to continue living. 

15) What does their daily diet look like on a normal day? Do they fast? If they fast, is it out of their control?

Juniper eats a lot. She loves eating her veggies and fruits. She’s a huge junkie on that. But, she does have a guilty pleasure for spicy, sweet, and sour things. 

16) Does your apprentice have any scars or tattoos? Where are they? Describe them?

Juniper has a few scars. I mean, if you look at her, you’ll find some sort of bruise and scar on her because of instances where she has bumped into something or has fallen down something before. I mean one major scar she has is on her hand. She got a pretty bad cut on her hand before when she was just starting on cooking. 

Juniper has several tattoos. Most of them are just a bunch of squiggly. Some of them are flowers - forget-me-nots, roses, dogwood, lilies, and daisies. 

17) Can they bear pain? How much pain can they bear? Do they hate it or do they like it ala our good Doctor?

Juniper can handle pain pretty well. I mean she has some bad bruises on her legs that she doesn’t ever notice. Asra is always the one who sees it and right away helps her out. I mean, she could break her leg and she’d never really notice it until it was too late. She doesn’t really care for pain. It doesn’t really do anything to her.

18) Do they like their living situation? Do they like living in Vesuvia and by the sea? Do they like the cold more or do they like it warmer?

Juniper sort of likes her living situation. I mean, at least she has Asra with her. It helps her feel less lonely and homesick. She does love the sea though. She just misses her home and the farm. She doesn’t really care for cold or warm weather. She does like winter a lot though. 

19) Can your character cook? What’s their favorite thing to cook?

Juniper is a top notch cook. She loves to cook traditional dishes. 

20) (NSFW) Does your character have any kinks? What are they? Have they ever been acted upon?

Hmm…. I never really thought of this… xD I mean, maybe?? Like she has a huge praise kink - she loves hearing people praise her for something. It makes her feel just extremely happy. 

21) What’s their relationship history look like? What were their previous datemates like? Do they have a type?

Juniper is such a baby at relationship. She literally has never been in a relationship before. I mean her type is basically Asra. 

22) Does your apprentice have a familiar? What is it and what’s their name? Do they talk to the apprentice? What’s their personality like?

OH BOY AM I FREAKING EXCITED FOR THIS QUESTION. JUNIPER HAS A FREAKING VULTURE AS AN APPRENTICE. HIS NAME IS VIC AND HE IS THE MOST SWEETEST VICIOUS CREATURE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. HE PROTECTS OVER JUNIPER AS IF SHE WAS HIS CHILD. Also, Vic is such a chatty box. He talks for hoursssss. 

23) Describe you apprentices’ humor.

Juniper’s humor ranges from dark to light. She enjoys dad jokes, puns, and just about anything. She laughs over everything pretty much. xD

24) Outside of magic-related workings, does your apprentice have any hobbies? Do others know about this hobby or do they keep it a secret?

Juniper loves to collect feathers. She also loves to garden. She actually has a small little garden in the shop. 

25) What is the easiest way to annoy your apprentice? How do they react to being annoyed?

The easiest way to annoy Juniper is to like mock the way how she speaks. Or, just be teasing her 24/7. Her nose scrunches up and her eyebrows knit together and honestly she looks too adorable to be annoyed. She usually stops being annoyed after like a few seconds.

26) How does your apprentice sleep? Do they sleep with a ton of pillows and blankets or none? Do they toss and turn? Weird things they do in their sleep?

Juniper sleeps with a ton of blankets and pillows. She loves having pillows being wrapped around her legs. She just loves holding something in her sleep. She does tend to hog the covers though.

27) Due to the “memory issues” that permeate the game: does your apprentice ever experience déjà vu and they don’t know why? What triggered the déjà vu?

Juniper does deal with  deja vu moments. Usually they’re smells and objects that make her have that deja vu feeling. 

I JUST..... I JUST REALLY MISS MY OLD DIGIMON OC......

I don’t even know if anyone here would recognize her at all (other than maybe a certain Kari!) bUT..... well, this was actually my old Digimon OC, Hikaru! Many years back, I had one of those Digimon “FDD” (Fictional Digidestined & Digimon!) websites, and it was young me’s pride and joy, my first website that I made all on my own ;3;/ ;3;/ Complete with low quality graphics, comic sans ms, script based roleplays, and Digimon and anime midis galore! (A-ahaha.)

Although, back then I had pretty much zero ability when it came to actual art (I was always more of a writer, orz) and so her look ended up being basically “inspired” (read as: ripoff) of adult!Hikari but with a teenager look, and the story took a huuuge amount of “inspiration” (read as: tropes) from Sailor Moon too (also The Legend of Zelda), a-ahaha. OTL. Her Digimon (twin Digimon ala Wallace’s) were also obviously Chibimon/DemiVeemon recolors (DemiSilveemon and DemiGoldveemon, respectively. I didn’t even have to create an evolution for DemiGoldveemon because he’d basically become Goldveedramon, an actual Digimon!, while “Silveemon” became “Silveedramon”, a-ahaha. So original, I know.)

Regardless, they still have a very special place in my heart and I wish I had the energy to do a complete overhaul of her story nowadays (and actually finish it - I only ever managed to write through the second story arc out of like... eight-nine which was also to have a huge sprawling amount of story arcs after, which I had detailed in extremely lengthy “spoiler” summaries back then pffft - also, it was all to eventually tie into a story arc covering the epilogue and extending the story of that.) Unfortunately, my drive to do so has kind of dried up o-orz...

B-But now that I’m much older, I’m kinda sorta thinking about redesigning her at the least?? I’m super into Japanese fashion now (!!) and would really love to give her a redesign with like.... a very pretty classic styled one-piece, long A-line dress with a petticoat, maybe in a dusty pink color, with cute ruffles and embroidery, white sleeve cuffs?? and probably either neckties and/or (detachable, for look variety!) long sleeves. MAYBE SHE’D EVEN HAVE HER OWN HUGE WARDROBE OF VARIOUS ADORABLE DRESSES ALA CARDCAPTOR SAKURA/CLAMP it’s a nice thought anyway to at least redesign her main outfit in mind, even if I can’t create art for it, aha...!! ;3;/ (ALSO would change her hair color so it’d be less like Hikari’s [which was intended at the time for story purposes/tropes/etc.], though it was still a slightly darker brown - it’d probably be a bit more wavier/curlier too, and something like an even darker brown [deep brown?? nOT JUST BC OF MY OWN HAIR A-AHA....] (possibly also with bits of red through it!!)... at the time she was also created with no set eye color aside from (a darker) blue in mind; maaaybe she could have something like hazel eyes now? which could probably make up for that with the “color changing” hA ALSO SHE WAS MIXED/MULTIRACIAL/MULTIETHNIC ASIAN/JAPANESE-AMERICAN [+OTHERS] SO THERE WAS THAT YEAH!!)

Her Crest was actually the Crest of Faith, since I figured Jou’s Japanese crest’s name could also translate to “Honesty” (maybe even remain “Reliability” still, idek, which I thought was still perfect for Jou) and ‘Faith’ as a trait just held a very personal meaning to young me at the time ;3;/ (Basically never giving up, believing in yourself, etc.!! SHOUNEN/SHOUJO MOTIVATION) Though the image here didn’t quite portray the crest as I would have liked, I did want the imagery to involve a stylized crescent moon symbol and a star (probably now with it hanging outside of the moon somewhere though, not inside....), and the color to be dark pink (which would have also been the color of her D3) [it also had gold and silver buttons because of the two Digimon]. It’d be nice to try and re-design that too somehow ;3;/

All of the art here (sans #4, edited by young me a-aha) was made by request, and I’m to this day, forever grateful to the artists: Skye G. (#1 and the adorable emote!), Kari Avalon (#2), Tiara/Chiara (#3), Alana D. (#5-6), and Jennifer M. (#7)!! If any of you somehow happen to read this, thank you so much again (and for putting up with young me, o-orz)!! (I hope you’re all doing well today too....!!) ;A;/

Anyhow, a lot more rambling under the cut!

So yes, her story did lift a HUGE amount of “inspiration”/tropes from Sailor Moon, complete with the typical “Digimon Princess” theme and everything o-OTL. HOWEVER the more lengthier, sprawling story also had story arcs and tropes I still would have loved to explore in more detail - the 02 kids each had their own story arc where they’d receive their own personalized Crest traits (Iori’s was Wisdom, I can’t quite remember Miyako’s atm orz but she had one too [EDIT: MIYAKO was Loyalty, Iori’s was Wisdom!! Loyalty would fit Iori too maybe though aha?]; and of course, Daisuke got Miracles!) and their Digimon would all get to evolve into their own evolutionary lines.

The Adventure Chosen would eventually have their own arcs too; involving “Negative Crests”, evil clones, and actually the main villain of the entire fic was Alphamon - who wasn’t even featured in the main canon materials much at the time! (SO YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW MUCH I FLIPPED OUT WHEN HE WAS REVEALED AS THE MAIN VILLAIN FOR TRI, A-AHAHAH) Aaaanyway that arc would have dealt with each kid encountering their evil clone, being attacked by them/fighting them against the real kids’ wills, learning about them and their backstories, and the real kids’ Digimon would all finally evolve to Mega/Ultimate forms; the clones would have then been defeated after their corrupted virus type Digimon were destroyed, and after the clone children and their crests no longer being corrupted; them all dying peacefully to rejoin their Digimon in the Digital World afterlife. ;A; (.....I STILL GET LOTS OF FEELINGS THINKING ABOUT THE STORIES I HAD PLANNED FOR THEM ALL, SOMETIMES, I ADMIT, ESPECIALLY MY FAV KOUSHIRO’S BECAUSE LIKE. /NO MY HEART/ ALSO, THE DIGIMON WERE ALL TO BE ESPECIALLY AMAZING, ESPECIALLY TENTOMON + HIS CLONE BECAUSE LIKE. YES. NO??? HUMONGOUS CORRUPTED VIRUS TYPE ARMORED GIANT BUG PROTECTING CORRUPTED TINY CHILD AND ALL. Also, if you saw my previous post on Koushiro AUs (AKA: MOSTLY SUFFERING), the AU idea there about “Koushiro fully losing his curiosity” would have been detailed in that storyline, too [just in the place of the clone Koushiro, with the real Koushiro trying to help/save him.... but alas.......] ;3;/) (also the clone Koushiro may have not understood his own feelings and that he was hopelessly in love with the clone Taichi who didn’t know this at all until he found out at the very end; and who also died; yeah there was lots of drama/angst to be had)

As for the “Negative Crests”, basically, each Chosen would have had to fight against the darkness attempting to corrupt them and the Crests they had “lost” (which they’d then “regain”), with each cloned Chosen having the Negative Crests, like so: Taichi -> Fear Yamato -> Loneliness Sora -> Hate Koushiro -> Ignorance Mimi -> Lies (Impurity??) Jou -> Betrayal Takeru -> Despair Hikari -> Darkness [/that feeling when I actually finished Hikari’s arc along w/a Ken + Daisuke miniarc cries] (THE CLONE/DARK!JOU WAS ALSO V. EPIC AND BASICALLY BETRAYED ALPHAMON BY FINDING OUT ALPHAMON’S PLANS AND DESTROYING HIMSELF BEFORE ALPHAMON COULD FULLY CORRUPT HIM AND WIN, DARK!JOU AND ALSO JOU HIMSELF WERE SO EPIC, YOU GO JOUs !!!)

Also, being a kid at the time, of course I paired my OC with my other favorite character, of course (.....DAISUKE AHAHAHA) though young me was also very into slashfic and also not-so-subtlely hinted at underlying Tai//shiro storylines as well as not-to-be (orz) Ken//suke (mainly from Ken’s side; it’d then lead to the Ken//yako kids). All of it would have tied into the post-02 epilogue that basically explained “how the heck did all this happen and what do they and the epilogue kids do next??” AAAAND YEAH. (EVEN YOUNG ME LOVED TAI//SHIRO AND KEN//SUKE / DAI//KEN TO DEATH, OK, OK, YOUNG ME KNEW WHAT WAS UP)

Soooo I’m sure you can imagine how I feel now watching AND (MOSTLY) ENJOYING Tri and seeing other new interesting character(s) (Meiko!!) instead, ahahaha. ...Though now I’m also missing my old OC(s) and reflecting on all these old storylines I had (AMONG OTHERS), WHY THIS...... ;A;/ Ah well, it’s still nice to reminisce....!

(BY THE WAY, YOUNG ME ALSO NEVER SAID SO AT THE TIME, BUT THIS OC [AND COINCIDENTALLY ALSO DAISUKE] WAS DEFINITELY HEADCANONED TO BE SOMETHING LIKE BI/PAN/DEMI??...!! Hikaru as a character would have felt to her personally, purely looks or physical attraction was secondary - she would have probably believed in soulmates; developing a very strong emotional bond only with a person who loved and accepted her for who she was, and who she was the same for them. For my character, at the time, that was Daisuke...! H-Hahaha, though - she was also to have a backstory involving another (boy) OC she loved dearly, one who had disappeared (or: died/taken by the digital world) and she had to move on from (nOT.... HELPED BY ONE OF HER OWN DIGIMON DYING PERMANENTLY [the gold one], I’M STILL SUPER SAD I HAD TO KILL HIM OFF BUT IT WAS NECESSARY FOR THE STORY it was also a huge part of her character development and flaws including how she reacted to death/grief and would basically withdraw heavily into herself ALA KOUSHIRO AT HIS WORST.....); she would have then learnt to move on and found her personal true happiness & also her true love. So, at the time, that was Daisuke (despite the major Ken//suke undertones because it was [very] sadly not to be in that fic, o-orz - also Daisuke was a huge underdog/underappreciated within the fandom at the time (and also within OC fic which was near exclusively dub based), who was constantly bashing him for the dumbest of reasons jUST. WHY WAS FANDOM LIKE THAT-)

-- but back to Hikaru now, NOW....?? idek, maybe she’d find someone different and Daisuke would end up together with Ken?! WHOOOO KNOOOOOWS (MAYBE EVEN POLYSHIPS, THAT’D DEFINITELY WORK TOO, YES)

(ADDING A BIT MORE ABOUT HER PERSONALITY!!:) -quite mature as well as modest -secretly a huge computer geek that would also be very experienced at coding. This, of course, made Koushiro something like a senpai to her, and they’d often excitedly discuss computers/coding (along with Ken chiming in at times) while the rest of the Chosen would blank stare (hhhhhA) -despite this however she’d definitely not be on Koushiro nor Ken’s levels but she’d be on course to fast improvement with their guidance!! (also keep in mind this fic was originally written when I was a very young kid when girls who coded were acknowledged even less o-orz) -(ALSO SECRETLY A VERY ENTHUSIASTIC GAMER) (eventually, she’d come to hang out with Daisuke [+Taichi, Koushiro and Ken when they visited] to play games!) (the outcomes would often be: defeat Daisuke [repeatedly], defeat or draw with Taichi [to his dismay as well], be beaten by Koushiro and Ken [to which she’d vow to challenge herself to become better!]) -typically very optimistic/positive, kind/friendly, warm, welcoming, helpful, respectful etc., unlikely to have a mean bone in her body and basically extremely loving and supportive towards everyone -this would often put her at odds, however, with more competitive people or ruder people who weren’t as warm or welcoming; though she’d accept that being the case, she’d often be troubled that she did “something wrong” -speaking of being respectful, though she also wasn’t near Koushiro (or Iori) levels of “-san” respectfulness, she did use proper honorifics for everyone and often hesitated to change honorifics, even when prompted. (The older Chosen were a mix of “-san” [Yamato, Sora, Mimi until Mimi demands the use of “-chan” as per typical] and “-senpai” [Koushiro, Jou, and even Taichi, to his bemusement] mainly due to her having been intimidated to be new at the start, which is.... qUITE A LOT LIKE MEIKO’S NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT...) -despite her typical personality though she would stand up for herself and her friends as needed, especially in the face of evil/darkness -though very friendly, much more of an introvert than an actual extrovert; she’d rather stay inside unless invited out by the others (who would often have to insist she join them) -had some initial regrets about moving from America, even though things were harder for her there (where it was even harder for her to fit in) and it was necessary for her parents’ jobs, it was still her original home, so she holds her childhood close. -becomes chosen to be a Chosen Child due to her initial involvement with Digimon involving the OC who was “taken” by the Digital World (though she wouldn’t learn this was the reason or understand how/why it happened until later) -her story arc would essentially revolve around her learning to pick herself back up after grief and helping to save everything

(ALSO A BIT MORE ABOUT THE DIGIMON): -DemiSilveemon/Silveemon was more like Hikaru herself; though with a more eternally optimistic/supportive personality; though also somewhat more naive and silly, also with a short temper when something (DemiGoldveemon) irritated her. But when things would get tough, she’d always know the right thing to do \o/ -DemiGoldveemon/Goldveemon was much more extroverted / hyper / exciteable and super energetic/even more supportive!! ...though he was also the troublemaker, often getting into mischief and causing headaches for Hikaru and DemiSilveemon. However, when he’d have to put playing aside and defend his friends, he’d become extremely cool and awesome...!! ;A;/ (Later on, he’d also reappear briefly in spirit form to remind Hikaru and Silveemon to not give up \o/)

ALSO:

(TAI//SHIRO WOULD ALSO DEF. HAPPEN SECOND TIME AROUND NOT SORRY) (SHE’D BE ONE OF THEIR #1 SUPPORTERS TOO ALONG WITH EVERY OTHER CHOSEN AND THE PARENTS OK? OK!!!) \o/

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT MY VERY SHAMEFUL DIGIMON FANDOM HISTORY AND OC HISTORY, NOW I WILL EXCUSE MYSELF TO HIDE UNDER A ROCK !!!!!

Tagged by: @littlelilypetal Tagging: *shrugs* (Cut for length)

BASICS.

FULL  NAME:  Suigin Ryū NICKNAMES:  Marshmallow, Sugar (verse-specific) AGE: Typically played 20-22, but can be bumped, lowered, or bent! BIRTHDAY:  October 10 ETHNIC  GROUP: Japanese...? NATIONALITY: Hi no Kuni LANGUAGES:  Japanese SEXUAL  ORIENTATION: Demisexual ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION:  Panromantic RELATIONSHIP  STATUS:  Single by default, ships vary by verse CLASS:  Middle HOMETOWN / AREA:  Kusunokizan no Sato CURRENT  HOME: Konohagakure PROFESSION:  Medic in Konoha hospital

PHYSICAL.

HAIR:  White, wavy, and goes to her tailbone. Has a fringe along the tops of her brow, slightly tapered EYES:  Grey, a little on the large side. OFten has a very “doe-eyed” look to them NOSE:  ..average? FACE:  Heart-shaped with rounded cheeks COMPLEXION: Fair skinned, slightly oily BLEMISHES: None SCARS: Only major scars are her neck injury, and in her ALAS verse, a cesarean scar from the twins TATTOOS:  Clan crest on her left shoulder blade  PIERCINGS:  Ears HEIGHT: 5 ′ 9" (176 cm) WEIGHT:  ~170 lbs (77kg) BUILD:  Tall, hourglass frame - pretty sturdily built due to her father’s bloodline FEATURES:  All hair on her body (head, brows, lashes, body hair) is completely white ALLERGIES: None to be noted USUAL  HAIR  STYLE:  While working, it’s pulled back into a tail. Otherwise, she wears it down, and it is WILD USUAL  FACE  LOOK:  If she’s not engaged in conversation, it’s a sort of...somber, contemplative look USUAL  CLOTHING: Her default outfit is a large white sleeveless coat that closes with a buckle over her waist, with a hood. Separate sleeves have elastic along the top to cling to her arms, and taped widely. Under it she typically wears black or grey croptops, and standard dark pants to the knee. Usually she wears closed-toed dark grey boots to her knees. Otherwise she actually tends to wear a lot of skirts/blouses and dresses.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEARS:  Dogs, blood (since grown out of), shinobi, loss of a loved one ASPIRATIONS: Continual growth in the medical field, to have a family POSITIVE  TRAITS:  Patient, kind, empathetic, respectful, hopeful NEGATIVE  TRAITS: Stubborn, overly-emotional, morally high-horsed, obsessive ZODIAC:  Libra TEMPERAMENT: Quiet and reserved SOUL  TYPES:  The Priestess  ANIMALS: Snowy owl, dragon VICE  HABITS: Gluttony FAITH:  Shintō GHOSTS? Yes AFTERLIFE?  Yes REINCARNATION? Yes ALIENS?  Post-Ōtsutsuki, yes POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT: None. ECONOMIC  PREFERENCE: Moderation SOCIOPOLITICAL  POSITION:  Technically a clan head...and the last of her clan. Doesn’t really grant her any power, though EDUCATION  LEVEL:  High levels of medical education - among the top of the hospital staff. Has sage training.

FAMILY.

FATHER:  Headcanoned as Jiraiya - not necessary to acknowledge for RP MOTHER: Suigin Reika SIBLINGS: None EXTENDED  FAMILY:  None NAME  MEANINGS: Suigin meaning quicksilver, Ryū meaning dragon spirit HISTORICAL  CONNECTION? Suigin is the taken name of the sage Suigin, which initiated a pact with her line. Reika presumably named her Ryū due to some subconscious knowing that her connection to the sage would be different than those before her. The Suigin clan has always been partially nomadic, taking to the road once training is complete to bring healing where it’s needed.

FAVOURITES.

DEITY:  Inari MONTH: October SEASON: Autumn PLACE: Kusunokizan no sato WEATHER: Warm, rainy days SOUND: River rapids, rainfall, wind chimes, traditional music, wind through the trees SCENTS:  Black tea, camphor incense, old warm wet wood TASTES: Peach, sugar, cinnamon, orange sauce FEELS: Wooden floors and grass beneath bare feet, cotton yukata, cool scales, feathers ANIMALS: Owls, cats NUMBER 12 COLOR:  Greyscale

EXTRA.

TALENTS:  Medical ninjutsu, barrier jutsu, senjutsu, physical and mental therapies BAD  AT:  Social interactions, thinking logically when emotions are involved, resisting genjutsu/manipulation  TURN  ONS: Light dirty talk, biting/scratching/spanking, light sub/dom, body worship, blindfolds, tattoos TURN  OFFS: Heavy dirty talk/disrespectful language, heavy bdsm, breathplay, bloodplay, scat/watersports HOBBIES: (Naruto verse): Meditation, hiking, baking/cooking, writing poetry, visiting shrines, going to tea houses, singing TROPES:  I don’t really know any OTL AESTHETIC  TAGS: 𝓂𝑒𝓂𝑜𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓂𝒾𝓈𝓉 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓃𝓈 (aesthetic) 𝒸𝓇𝒶𝒹𝓁𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝓇𝒶𝑔𝑜𝓃 (kusunokizan) 𝓈𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓉 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓈𝓊𝑔𝒶𝓇 (food) 𝓉𝑜 𝓌𝒶𝓇𝓂 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝑜𝓊𝓁 (tea) 𝓉𝑜 𝒸𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒶𝒾𝓇 (incense) 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝒶𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝑔𝓊𝒾𝒹𝑒𝓈 𝒽𝑒𝓇 (Shintō)

FC INFO.

MAIN  FCs: Don’t really have set ones, but there’s a few manga like Sunrise!, Gozen 0-ji, Kiss Shi ni Kite yo, and Coffee And Vanilla that have good ones :3 ALT  FCs:  Anything I can find xD OLDER  FCs:  No idea tbh YOUNGER  FCs: *shrugs* VOICE  CLAIMS:  ...I...honestly have no idea =o Her voice is deeper than most seiyuu, since younger, lighter voices are the norm lol

RULES. Repost, do not reblog! Good luck! Tagged by: Stole it >w> Tagging: Anyone who wants to do the thing lol

BASICS.

FULL  NAME: Suigin Ryū NICKNAMES: Marshmallow, Sugar (verse specific) AGE:  20-22 in default (shippuden - same age group as Itachi) BIRTHDAY:  October 10 ETHNIC  GROUP:  Japanese...? NATIONALITY: Hi no Kuni...an lol LANGUAGES:  Japanese I guess SEXUAL  ORIENTATION: Demisexual ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION: Panromantic RELATIONSHIP  STATUS: Depends on the verse? Single by default CLASS: Middle HOMETOWN / AREA: Kusunokizan CURRENT  HOME: Konoha PROFESSION: Medic

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Long (to the dip of her back), wavy, white. Has a fringe. Typically wears it up for work, but otherwise keeps it down. EYES: Grey, a tinge on the large side - usually has a rather doe-eyed look NOSE: Average FACE: Rounded, more heart shaped LIPS: Average COMPLEXION: Pale, fairly clear BLEMISHES: None to note. SCARS: Only major scar is along the right side of her neck where she was stabbed with her own scalpel by a PTSD patient. In ALAS verse she has a cesarean scar from the twins. TATTOOS: Clan crest on her left shoulder lade PIERCINGS: Ears, but she rarely wears earrings - if she does, studs, so kiddos at work don’t grab them and rip her ear HEIGHT: 176 c (5′9″) WEIGHT: About 77 kg (170 lbs) BUILD: Curvy, hourglass ALLERGIES: None to really note USUAL  HAIR  STYLE: Down USUAL  FACE  LOOK: Blank/daydreamy USUAL  CLOTHING: Typically wears black sleeveless shirts, and standard black pants to her knees. dark grey knee-high boots with closed toes. Separate sleeves and a large coat of her own design (headcanon about it)

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEARS: Failure. Dogs. Death of loved ones. Blood (as a child). Shinobi (mostly as a child, but still wary as an adult) ASPIRATIONS: Continue to improve in the medical field. Continued mastery of her sage arts. To have a family. POSITIVE  TRAITS: Kind. Passionate. Caring. Gentle. Patient. Driven. NEGATIVE  TRAITS: Clingy. Self-deprecating. Controlling. Obsessive. Indecisive. Somber/negative. ZODIAC: Libra TEMPERAMENT: Calm ANIMALS: Dragons, cats, owls VICE  HABITS: Lip-chewing, finger-fidgeting, foot-tapping FAITH: Shintōist GHOSTS?  Yes AFTERLIFE?  Yes REINCARNATION? ...sort of? ALIENS? Sort of POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT: Good question lol ECONOMIC  PREFERENCE: ...no idea SOCIOPOLITICAL  POSITION: ._. EDUCATION  LEVEL: ...high? She didn’t have standard at the Academy - she was tutored privately for the basics, and learned enough to pass all of the exams to become full-time at the hospital.

FAMILY.

FATHER: (Headcanon) Jiraiya (deceased) MOTHER: Suigin Reika (deceased SIBLINGS: None EXTENDED  FAMILY: Unknown NAME  MEANINGS: Suigin - “quicksilver” Ryū - “dragon spirit” HISTORICAL  CONNECTION? Suigin is the name of the sage connected to the Suigin line, adopted after the initial pact. Reika named Ryū after the sage as well.

FAVOURITES.

DEITY: Inari MONTH: October SEASON: Autumn PLACE: Kusunokizan WEATHER: Thunderstorms, or at least light Summer rain SOUND: Wind through the trees. A steady heart rate monitor. Temple chimes. SCENTS: Rained-on ground. Camphor incense smoke. Old books/scrolls. Baked goods. TASTES: Black tea. Peach. Vanilla. Chocolate. FEELS: Old parchment. Smooth stone. Tree bark. Aged wood floors. Paper screens. River currents. ANIMALS: Owls NUMBER: 3 COLOR: Greyscale

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Medical ninjutsu. Barrier jutsu. Counseling. Singing. BAD  AT: Combat. Social situations. Receiving praise. TURN  ONS: Established bonds. Neck kisses/biting. Teasing. TURN  OFFS: Overly-graphic ‘dirty talk’. Degradation. Breath/blood play. HOBBIES: Cooking/baking. Hiking. Meditating. Reading. TROPES: ...ehhh lazy xD AESTHETIC  TAGS: 𝓂𝑒𝓂𝑜𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓂𝒾𝓈𝓉 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓃𝓈 (aesthetic) 𝒸𝓇𝒶𝒹𝓁𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝓇𝒶𝑔𝑜𝓃 (kusunokizan) 𝓈𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓉 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓈𝓊𝑔𝒶𝓇 (food) 𝓉𝑜 𝓌𝒶𝓇𝓂 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝑜𝓊𝓁 (tea) 𝓉𝑜 𝒸𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒶𝒾𝓇 (incense) 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝒶𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝑔𝓊𝒾𝒹𝑒𝓈 𝒽𝑒𝓇 (Shintō)  𝒹𝓇𝒶𝑔𝑜𝓃'𝓈 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝒾𝓇𝑒𝓈 (yearnings)

FC INFO.

MAIN  FCs: Anything I can find xD Still working on finding steady ones ALT  FCs: ._. OLDER  FCs: .-. YOUNGER  FCs: >_> VOICE  CLAIMS: ...good question actually. Tbh I’ve wanted to do my own voicing of her for projects but I’m a scaredy cat xD