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hleonaa · 3 months

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Feedback Fest 2024

In honor of @transformativeworks's Feedback Fest 2024, here are my 10 fic recs across multiple fandoms and in no particular order:

Like a River Flows by brooklinegirl

Fandom: The Untamed/MDZS Relationship: Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian Summary:

Wei Ying has been Lan Zhan's partner for two months, three days, and seven hours. Plus or minus a handful of minutes, if you're counting. Which Wei Ying is.

the soft animal of your body by howodd5ever

Fandom: The Untamed/MDZS Relationship: Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian Summary:

The problem was that he didn’t remember anymore why he’d left. Sure, something about finding himself or discovering his place in the world, or whatever other bullshit he’d talked himself into to end up in the middle of nowhere. Alone.He missed Lan Zhan. Wei Wuxian sets off alone after the events at Guanyin Temple and finds himself in pretty serious trouble.

no one lights a candle to remember by asravine

Fandom: The Untamed/MDZS Relationship: Jiang Wanyin & Wei Wuxian Summary:

“Didi,” Wei Wuxian says softly. His thumb on Jiang Cheng’s cheek is calloused and warm and burns of affection. Jiang Cheng barely stops himself from leaning in. “Didi, don’t cry because of me.” I have thirteen years of mourning to catch up to, Jiang Cheng thinks, but doesn’t say. As always, the chasm between them is an incredible divide, and Wei Wuxian is the only one leaning his hand out into the darkness. – (or: Jiang Cheng and his memories of his older brother, before and after the fall)

A Flawed Mosaic by AHumanFemale

Fandom: Law & Order: SVU Relationship: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr. Summary:

“You’re Rafael Barba. Assistant District Attorney for Manhattan,” he answered and Rafael let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. At least until Carisi smiled so wide and happy and added, “My husband.” The words were so alien to him that he honestly couldn’t respond for a second, just kept staring at Carisi’s happy face and at the stitches in his head while he saw flashes of blood on the car window. He couldn’t imagine his expression but knew it was something less than comforting as he watched Carisi’s face fall, his eyebrows draw together. “What?” Carisi asked finally, eyes flitting to the nurse still hovering in the corner of the room. “What’s the matter?” -- [Or, Carisi gets amnesia and believes they're married and Rafael has to play along... risking his own heart in the process.]

Darling You Will Bury Me Before I Bury You by Stablersbensons

Fandom: Law & Order: SVU Relationship: Olivia Benson/Elliot Stabler Summary:

Olivia leaves the precinct on a cold Tuesday morning and returns two days later in a body bag. Elliot never realized how the absence of someone could take up so much space.

downpour by owlinaminor

Fandom: Sense8 Relationship: Wolfgang Bogdanow/Kala Dandekar Summary:

It is never just rain, with them. It is never just a drizzle, or a mist, or a sprinkling of the flowers. It is always a downpour. (a kala/wolfgang relationship study in three parts.)

with roses red come lilies white by bartonbones

Fandom: Moon Knight Relationship: Marc Spector & Steven Grant Summary:

Marc originally sets up the phone line to help keep tabs on Steven whenever he was too tired to crawl his way into consciousness and pay attention--but he can only listen to Steven beg for his Mum to talk back for so long until he has to do something about it. A one-shot about how Marc takes care of Steven by writing postcards pretending to be someone they both miss. OR: Marc Spector takes "reparenting yourself" literally.

a god at your altar by thedaisywitch

Fandom: Eternals Relationship: Druig/Makkari Summary: It doesn't have one but it's beautiful, trust me :)

Looking Back, Seeing Far by FriendlyNeighborhoodFangirls

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe Relationship: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange Summary:

Tony Stark has rebuilt a world after Thanos snapped. Through blood and tears and suffering, he's rebuilt it--and he has Stephen Strange to blame for what he went through. He does so, hating the wizard with all his considerable capacity for passion, and Stephen does the same. It leaves them squabbling like petty children or perhaps mortal enemies when they're supposed to be saving the world, and it's getting in the way of productivity. So Tony's family comes up with a plan. “You’re gonna make a list,” Rhodey said. “Seven things you like about Stephen Strange.” Tony dropped the notepad like a hot potato. “What?” Rhodey didn’t blink. “Each week.” "No. I refuse."

all that laughter crumbling through your fingers by philthestone

Fandom: Brooklyn Nine-Nine Relationship: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago Summary:

Amy kind-of sort-of dies, and everything falls apart. Rosa observes.

#IFD2024 #feedback fest #fic recs #here goes all the fandoms represented here #the untamed #law and order svu #sense8 #moon knight #eternals #mcu #brooklyn 99

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gay-flyboys · 4 months

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For the sleepover - what are some fics you’ve read recently that you recommend? 👀👀👀

God I'm notorious about not reading enough fics, most of the one's I've read have been because of beta reading. But I will peruse!

At The Edge of Us - xo_em: Top Gun fic, it's the one I yanked the soulmate au idea from. Em has a magical way with words, highly recommend.

Pierced - AHumanFemale: A Barisi fic where Barba has a belly button piercing. This fic changed my brain chemistry when I was 16 and I haven't stopped thinking about it since

Little Drummerboy - Inexplicablymine: Firstprince AU, Alex is a drummer, incredible world building. One more chapter but I will recommend this fic til the day I die

Sleepover Gossip!

#max answers

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real-snipe-celi · 3 years

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My wife is literally always right. Always. In case anyone was wondering.

#she never lets me forget it #this is marriage #god I love it #wlw #ahumanfemale

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barisifictionarchive · 3 years

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Title: Christine

Author: AHumanFemale

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 4,364

Tags: Rafael Barba/Dominick “Sonny” Carisi Jr., Rafael Barba, Dominick “Sonny” Carisi Jr., mentions of other characters, Original Inanimate Object, Angst, Fluff, Bickering, Pain, Major Character Death

Summary: Rafael has an odd relationship with Sonny’s car.

He doesn’t want to have a relationship at all.

Comments: The author captures a beautiful (and not so beautiful) relationship between Sonny, Rafael, and a 1981 Ford Crown Victoria. Wonderfully fluffy at times but fair warning, this is a tear jerker.

“Stop calling her that!”

“Then tell her to stop trying to kill me.”

“She’s not doing anything to you! It’s not like she chooses to park on ice or when to close a door or when the seat adjustment lever decides to stop working.”

“Oh, good!” Rafael cried as they pulled up in front of Sonny’s parents’ house, the backseat loaded with Christmas gifts, “So it’s not Christine trying to kill me, it’s you!”

#barisi #fic rec #ahumanfemale #teen #christine the car #angst #fluff #bickering #pain #major character death #less than 5k #less than 10k

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cormoranlystruck · 6 years

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This blog is my favorite thing today. I’m doing a reread from the beginning before I start Lethal White but all these shippy excerpts are beacons guiding me home. YOU ARE DOING THE LORD’S WORK.

Boy are you in for some an ride full of yearning ! And a re-read is a good idea, tbh, it’ll make it even more obvious what a slow-burn Strike and Robin are and how their emotions grow throughout the series, but you’ve no idea how excited I am for you and others who still haven’t started reading because it’s truly an experience.

#ahumanfemale #i'm a slow reader #but i'll be posting quotes / making edits when i have the time!!

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butihavejoy · 6 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Law & Order: SVU Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr. Characters: Rafael Barba, Carmen (L&O: SVU), Odafin "Fin" Tutuola, Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., John Buchanan Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon, Developing Relationship, Friendship, Stretching the boundaries of what's permitted under law, but how is that any different than 98 percent of what the show does, Birthday Series: Part 2 of Birthdays Summary:

Bad enough that Barba was forced to take a meeting with the man.

Even worse that Barba had been forced to meet Buchanan at his law firm rather than 1 Hogan Place. Barba greatly preferred to meet on his own turf, especially when it came to any meetings involving Buchanan.

But worst of all was that the meeting in question had fallen on his birthday.

For the marvelous @ahumanfemale. Love you more than words, darling, and I hope you have the best day possible <3

#ahumanfemale #barisi #rafael barba #sonny carisi #barisi fic #my fic #my writing #svu fic #link

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makingstrangemaneuvers · 7 years

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IT’S OFFICIAL YOU GUYS

TUMBLR WANTS BARISI

HOO BOY

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barbaesparza · 6 years

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Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Law & Order: SVU

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Words: 4,829

Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr. & Amanda Rollins, Rafael Barba & Amanda Rollins

Characters: Amanda Rollins, Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Rafael Barba, Odafin "Fin" Tutuola, Olivia Benson, (Brief appearances for both Fin and Liv)

Additional Tags: Amanda Rollins POV, outsider pov, Amanda as wingperson, Canon Non-compliant AF, Vaguely Season 16, Pretend Amaro is there but staying out of it, Unlike Amanda, Meddling, They can't stay away from each other, lack of personal space, Swearing, Innuendo, Matchmaking, POV switch, lol, oblivious Barba, Oblivious Carisi, Barisi Gift Exchange 2017

Summary:

Amanda notices something different. About Carisi, specifically.

It takes her a while to pinpoint what it is, but when she does, she ends up having a lot of fun with it.

And while she certainly has a lot of fun meddling, she eventually takes it upon herself to help Carisi out a little - he clearly needs it. It's a responsibility that she takes very seriously.

Written for @ahumanfemale for the @barisigiftexchange! It was a pleasure to write for you! <3

#barisi #barisi fic #thank you for all the comments!#I'll be getting to them soon #link to my fic on ao3 #barisigiftexchange #MERRY CHRISTMAS #ahumanfemale #Close To You #link #mywriting #barbaesparzafic #sonny carisi #amanda rollins #rafael barba #svu fic #prompted #my writing

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ahumanfemale · 7 years

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I lov your writing. Please write 43. falling in love with their best friend’s partner au

Oh, anon. You have fallen victim to the trap of the “ahumanfemale drabble”. There is no such thing. Only entire frigging fics because I can’t do what I’m damn well told. In any case, here it is. I hope you like it. - xoxo, ahf.

(Much love to @me-ladie for the alternative definition of “partner” and to @butihavejoy for the marvelous line toward the end about taking the lead. I love you both to the moon and back.)

Rafael Barba is gorgeous.

A masterpiece framed in lean muscle and bronze skin, a work of art in black fabric and thick, dark hair. His green eyes are bright and observant and his voice is an arrogant, endlessly arresting tenor. He moves with fluid grace that borders on aggressive and Sonny keeps waiting for the day when it ceases to steal his breath straight from his chest but it’s been three months and it hasn’t happened yet. He’s started to wonder if it ever will. Sonny can’t remember a time before he hung on the man’s every word, had been desperate for a glance or a few minutes of his attention. For three months he’s come to this room after his shift, for three months he’s brought him and Amanda dinner as an excuse to see him.

He’s pathetic, probably.

Hopeless.

So in love it hurt him to think or breathe or even look in Rafael’s direction. Which happened a lot, considering that Amanda was his best friend and Rafael was her partner. Dancing partner, not… they weren’t dating. They were both competitive dancers, specializing in the tango. Amanda did it for fun in addition to running her own studio for kids. Rafael, as far as Sonny knew, only did the competition circuit and just… ceased to exist outside of competitions. This was his last year before retirement, Amanda’s last year before she quit competing to focus on her business, and the two of them were determined to go out with a bang - preferably a bang in the shape of a first place trophy to display in Amanda’s studio. Her sudden obsessive dedication to this was the only reason Sonny had ever met Rafael in the first place, having heard his name for years without ever meeting the man.

Sonny was introduced to Amanda Rollins almost ten years ago, as two halves of a blind date. Sonny was just getting his restaurant off the ground and Amanda was new to New York, looking to start over. The date had gone well - laughter, joking, arguing over sports. Amanda was gorgeous, funny, smart as a whip. He’d enjoyed her company immensely but when it came time to brave a goodnight kiss the spark just… wasn’t there. Not the way he wanted it to be, and Amanda seemed to agree with her grudging smile and shrug that suggested darn the luck. But they became fast friends anyway and had hardly parted since, supporting each other through businesses opening and struggling and beginning the slow trudge toward being successful. Sonny had never been more grateful for a person in his life because Amanda never did anything by halves, including friendship.

Which made him feel even more guilty when he realized that he’d never been very involved in the competition part of her career. He was making up for lost time, though. Feeding her every night and forcing her to go home when she was dead on her feet and her babysitter was due to leave in half an hour. It certainly was for Amanda, his best friend, and not the stunning man whose arms she spent every night in.

A fact that she seemed to take for granted, Sonny thought bitterly as he scaled the stairs to their rehearsal space.

Amanda, getting to feel all that lean muscle up close.

Amanda, getting to watch up close as sweat formed at his hairline and slipped effortlessly down the column of his throat.

Amanda, who had taken one look at Sonny’s gobsmacked face and informed him without a hint of kindness that Rafael didn’t date during competition season, and even if he did it wouldn’t be a dorky cook from Staten Island.

He was a chef, thank you very much.

Also, not a dork.

But he was from Staten Island - he couldn’t deny that.

A fact he lamented as he approached the closed door at the top of the stairs. He heard music already, the dramatic acoustic guitar flourishes that signaled the beginning of the piece. Sonny had memorized it within a week, watching their rehearsals until he felt like he would be able to pick up the guitar himself and play the song from memory. He was pretty sure the dance steps were ingrained in his memory but those he wouldn’t be able to mimic if his life depended on it. For all his finesse in the kitchen, he had two left feet and they were both wearing cement shoes.

Sonny pushed the door open with his shoulder, carrying the bags in both hands.

“Hey, sorry I’m late. Nick’s giving me a hard time about the front of the house and - oh.”

Rafael is alone.

Sonny catches him mid-lunge, thighs taut and back straight as his shirt pulls across the expanse of his chest and Sonny’s stomach twinges hard. Heart in his throat, he watches as Rafael finishes the movement and uses the remote to pause the song. Sonny stands in the doorway like a deer caught in the headlights, trying very hard to keep his eyes on Rafael’s rather than the way his pants fitted over his ass and the faint sheen of sweat that covered every inch of skin he could see.

“Sonny,” Rafael says breathlessly and the sound heads south faster than Sonny can do anything about it. He found himself wishing to hear his name on Rafael’s lips in another context, although preferably just as breathlessly. “What are you doing here?”

“Bringing you dinner. Like I do every night.”

“Amanda went home an hour ago,” he tells him, reaching for a towel to wrap around his shoulders. “She didn’t tell you?”

“What? No,” Sonny replies, juggling the bags to get a finger on his Apple watch. The screen illuminates but Amanda’s only unread message says nothing about going home for the night. It’s two words, and it makes Sonny’s ears heat.

Have fun.

He didn’t know what to do about that. He was torn between thanking her or threatening her or offering to babysit for a month.

“I’m sure you need to get that home,” Rafael suggests dismissively and Sonny blinks in surprise, looking up from his watch.

“What?”

“I doubt I’m your primary intention here. Amanda is probably expecting you and Jessie will want to see her father.”

Sonny stares, speechless for once in his life. His face could only be making an expression that conveyed the utmost shock and confusion but it was missed, Rafael choosing to look out the open window as the sun finished setting. It was all he could do to set the food down and clear his throat pointedly. How was it possible that after years Rafael wouldn’t know that?

Wait, Sonny knew the answer.

It was they were both so work-oriented that he doubted it ever came up.

“I’m, uh… I’m not Jessie’s dad,” he offered finally.

Rafael raised an eyebrow. “I see. It’s admirable of you, adopting another man’s child.”

“No, I didn’t adopt her either. I’m not… Amanda and I aren’t like that. We’re just friends.”

This seemed genuinely surprising to him and Sonny shifted his feet because what he should be doing is suggesting that Amanda wasn’t his type much these days. His type, of course, being snarky dancers with green eyes and dry sense of humor who hardly looked at Sonny for more than a few seconds at a time… probably because they thought they he was straight and in a committed relationship with Rafael’s work partner. Instead he studied Rafael’s profile until the man looked over at Sonny, a small smirk gracing the curve of his lips.

All of a sudden Sonny can’t shake the feeling that he’s figured out why Amanda’s “just friend” has been hanging out in their space almost every night for months.

“If Amanda’s not expecting you,” he starts, “There’s no reason I couldn’t take a break for dinner. If the offer’s still on the table, anyway.”

“Of course,” Sonny said quickly, unable to fathom the fact that Rafael may have expected him to say no. “Come on. I hope you like chicken marsala.”

“Only if the marsala is dry.”

Sonny scoffed, “What kind of chef do you take me for?”

Rafael never answers but his smirk is answer enough.

Maybe it’s his useless heart doing the talking, but he feels like dinner goes well. They sit on the floor, backs to the wall. Shoulders almost touching but not quite. Their careers don’t have much in common but they find common ground anyway. Rafael talks about his scholarships to Julliard, his early career as a competitive dancer before he took several years to act as a choreographer for the rash of dancing movies that were popular for a while. His sisters had seen every one of them in theaters, swooning the entire time. Sonny found himself inordinately smug about the fact that he was having dinner with the man who’d created them.

Rafael had also expressed interest in Sonny’s work, asking about culinary school and his adventures working his way through every possible position a chef might take. He talked about being a sous chef under Bayard Ellis, a line cook for Lisa Hassler. It wasn’t until he’d met Nick Amaro working for chef Olivia Benson that he’d gotten the confidence to try out his own place. The two of them had gone off with Olivia’s blessing - and her financial backing - to create Maggie’s, a fusion restaurant specializing in Latin-Italian. It was a rough start but they were doing well now. With the combination of Sonny’s talents in the kitchen and Nick’s business sense and charm with guests, they were starting to get some notice. Rafael was quick to express admiration for Sonny’s work ethic, knowing just how difficult it was to get a restaurant going in New York. Let alone a successful one.

Sonny liked talking with him.

Liked his shrewd gaze assessing Sonny’s every word, the warm green as tangible on his skin as an actual touch from anyone else. He liked Rafael poking fun at his accent, liked the way he found reasons to brush Sonny’s hand as they ate. There was more spark in one of Rafael’s eye rolls than there had been in all of his previous relationships combined and Sonny couldn’t help feeling vindicated. He felt like he’d been proven right. He knew the two of them would get along - all they’d needed was the opportunity.

“So, what’s next?” Sonny asks some time later, after they’ve finished, crumpling a napkin and tossing it into his styrofoam to-go box.

“What do you mean?”

“Next,” Sonny repeated. “Once you’re done wiping the floor with these guys. I’m guessing you’re not going to do nothing unless you’re independently wealthy.”

“Well, I’m definitely not that,” Rafael laughed and Sonny smiled at the sound. “Besides, I’m not ready to retire from anything yet. I’ll go crazy.”

“Ah, I don’t know. Golf all day and dinner at three in the afternoon could suit you,”

Rafael glares. “Hardly.”

Sonny grins right back.

“So?”

“So… I don’t know,” Rafael sighs, shaking his head. “I’ve made the mistake of choosing a career and skill set that don’t age with me, nor do they lend themselves to other professions. In a few more years my knees will probably give out on me so it’s better I retire before I get to that point. It’s the after that’s the problem.”

Sonny nodded thoughtfully.

“You’re very talented, Rafael,” he said earnestly, holding firm as the man’s eyes shot up to meet his. Seamlessly, earthen green to sky blue. “And more than that, you’re smart. If anyone can figure it out, you can. Hell - open up a class for adults in Amanda’s studio. You’d be a hit, if only for the dance moms who need the eye candy. You’d have at least one student before you printed the sign up sheet.”

He quirked an eyebrow playfully. “Oh?”

“I mean, you’d probably better charge me triple,” he added, “I’m kind of hopeless. I’ve seen newborn giraffes more graceful than me on a dance floor.”

“Somehow that’s not difficult for me to believe,” Rafael teased and despite the mild insult warmth washed over Sonny’s chest, “But I don’t believe in hopeless cases. You just need to consider dance as something you do already. Think of how you work in the kitchen, dancing around your underlings.”

Sonny sputtered.

“That’s not dancing,” he insisted, “That’s doing your best to avoid catching a blade while someone’s slicing something up.”

“Dancing with higher stakes. You’re quick, what you do is fluid or it would take that much longer for you to accomplish anything. You’re aware of what’s going on around you, of who’s in your periphery,” Rafael tells him, the timbre of his voice darkening as he looked at Sonny unflinchingly. “That awareness is where it starts. Steps, movement, the concept of creating and destroying space with your body. The push and pull, the synchronicity. The rhythm you settle into as you work.”

And why did Sonny get the feeling they weren’t talking about cooking anymore?

He swallowed, nodding.

“Yeah,” he said on little more than a whisper, “Yeah, I can see that.”

For a long moment they stare, holding eye contact neither seem willing to break. Then the moment ripples outward and fades away into nothing, until Sonny clears his throat while Rafael grins. Sonny watches as he closes the to-go box and stands up from the floor. Quick, agile. Graceful in a way that suggested ample experience creating and destroying space, in setting a rhythm. A rhythm Sonny would kill to know firsthand. But that wasn’t in the cards for tonight, even if his heart kicked hard in his chest as he stood and gathered the remains of their meal. He tossed the boxes in the trash and brushed the wrinkles from his pants, all too aware of Rafael’s eyes on him.

“I guess you’re going back to work,” Sonny suggests.

“For a few more hours, at least.”

“I’ll let you get to it then,” he said and offered a lopsided grin before grabbing Amanda’s portion and heading for the door. “Don’t work too hard, alright? Give yourself a break - you can’t win if you’re dead on your feet.”

Rafael only nods, distracted as he moves to stretch his arms out again. Sonny watches for only a moment before turning away, already finding himself looking forward to the next night he could come back.

“Sonny,” Rafael calls as he reached the door.

Sonny turned, hoping very much Rafael would ask him to stay a little longer but he had no such luck. Something indecipherable flickered across Rafael’s face and then a decision was made.

“Thank you for dinner,” he says and reaches for his water bottle on the bench. “You’re very talented, too.”

That odd kick in his chest is back but Sonny accepts the compliment with a smile and closes the door behind him, trying his very best to contain the excitement fighting to bubble up in his chest.

It doesn’t work.

–

They won.

Sonny knew they would. He knew because he’d been watching the two of them all this time, the watchful bystander as all these individual steps and notes blended into something seamless and natural for the two of them. Envy wasn’t something that came naturally to Sonny but it managed to find him anyway with the image of the two of them together, moving as two halves of a whole that swept across the dance floor like they were only ever hovering above it. Sonny wasn’t a dancer, not in his wildest dreams would he have been able to do any of the things he watched them do, but it stung watching Rafael with someone else. He’d never quite been able to shake the warmth he’d found after their dinner together, and if anything his feelings had only grown.

Envy is probably not what compels him to stay long after the rest of the audience has gone, though. It’s probably something closer to longing because he fears this will be the last he sees of Rafael. He’s been replaying their conversation last week on repeat, hung up on the uncertainty of the man’s voice. Sonny knew what that felt like. To be drifting, not really tied down anywhere when the ties were all you really wanted. He’d heard some of that in Rafael that night, wondering where to go next. He’s spent days working him up to this sense of urgency because something in him knows that his time in Rafael’s presence is limited.

“You look like you’re in pain.”

Sonny jumps only a little, startled back to the present with the sound of Rafael’s voice a few feet away. It was the sound he’d been hoping for all along and still it surprises him. Rafael is walking across the dance floor, where they had just won their first place trophy, and he’s changed now into something more casual. Dark slacks and a pale button up that still manages to highlight biceps Sonny wants to wrap his fingers around. He spends a good couple of seconds staring at them only to look up and find Rafael grinning at him as though he’d known exactly what Sonny was thinking.

“Not in pain,” Sonny clarifies, even if it’s not far off. “Just thinking.”

“About?”

“About what I’m gonna do with my nights now that I won’t be feeding the two of you anymore,” he replies and it’s mostly the truth. He grins and adds, “I’ve been so wrapped up with this that I’m not sure what’s left of the rest of my life.”

Rafael scoffs as he sets his bag on the chair next to Sonny. “I’m sure you’ll find other workaholics to force your food on. Maybe you can make it a charity - bringing food to people who refuse to leave their offices for sustenance.”

He snorts.

“I bet I could make a killing, except for the fact that the concept already exists. It’s called ‘delivery’, I think,” he observes and delights in the grudging smile and nod he wins from Rafael’s expressive face. “So, how does it feel?”

“How does what feel?” Rafael asks in return, eyes pinched at the corners.

“Saying goodbye to all this,” Sonny elaborated, waving at the gleaming wood floor behind them. “This has been a good chunk of your life, hasn’t it? Spent in front of judges, worrying about where to put your feet and second-guessing yourself when you don’t do as well.”

Rafael nods, exhaling loudly.

“I don’t know yet, honestly,” he says and Sonny understands, “But I’m happy with what I’ve done here, if that means anything. I know Amanda is. We’re both happy and that seems like a good time to go.”

Sonny hums his agreement and fixes Rafael with a tender smile.

“It was great, for what it’s worth. You know, coming from me.”

“What was?”

“You,” Sonny answers honestly. “You were amazing, you both were. It, uh. It floors me that people can even move the way you do. Being here for it felt kind of special. It was an honor to see your last dance.”

“This isn’t my last dance.”

Sonny tilts his head, surprised. Had he changed his mind about retiring after all? He hardly had the time to consider the implications before Rafael was holding his hand out.

Oh.

Sonny took it, allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. He stepped forward as Rafael stepped backwards, leading him onto the gleaming dance floor where an hour before Rafael had rendered the room speechless. The room was empty now, save for the two of them. The only lights were the floodlights left on overnight and the tango had long faded from the air. Not it was only their footsteps as Rafael takes him to the center of the floor, uses his wide hand to pull Sonny into the circle of his arms. He feels Rafael’s hand at the small of his back, reveling in the warmth of it through his shirt as they take the first slow step together.

“Nothing fancy, alright?” Sonny warns him. “I’m not Amanda, I’m just gonna fall and break something.”

Rafael scoffs and places a foot between Sonny’s as they move, using the momentum of their steps to turn them both in a quick circle that Sonny doesn’t even realized has happened until he’s facing the opposite direction and Rafael is looking at him with open desire on his face.

“Wow.”

His voice is low when Rafael replies, “Absolutely.”

Sonny lets Rafael lead him around the floor, lets their breathing start to match. He’s tempted to fill the silence created between their steps but suddenly the speakers crackle to life again and he sees a blonde head working behind the soundbooth, stumbling around and cursing while Rafael mutters under his breath about being able to do a single thing without turning it into an argument with an inanimate object. Sonny’s tempted to laugh, tempted to tease, but then the music starts and every snarky word gets ground into dust as his breath catches in his chest.

Wise men say only fools rush in…

Elvis Presley’s voice is low and clear over the speakers and for a moment Sonny can’t breathe or even think because it’s all too much. The music, the dance. The man in his arms, smiling softly and guiding them as Sonny’s steps falter.

“I asked for a song recommendation from Amanda,” Rafael confesses under his breath. “She said this song was special to you.”

Sonny nods, laughing breathlessly. “My parents danced to this song at their wedding and at every anniversary for forty years. I think Amanda was setting you up to be dancing with a sobbing mess.”

“You’re not sobbing.”

“Only because I’m clinging to what dignity I have left,” he counters and Rafael only pulls him closer, spins them again.

It’s easy for him to forget that Amanda is nearby with Rafael’s eyes green in the dim lights and his heart trying to beat its way out of his chest. It’s even easier for him to do when he feels the soft glance of lips over his throat, the hot flow of Rafael’s breath across his ear as they move. Sonny waits until he can’t anymore, until it feels like he won’t take in another breath until he takes it from Rafael’s lips. Rafael’s eyes meet his and there’s something careful, almost cautious in the deep green so close to Sonny’s own that he can see the flecks of hazel. It takes Sonny a moment to place it, to realize that for perhaps the first time ever, Rafael is waiting for him to take the lead.So he does.

He stops them in the middle of a turn, cups his hand around the back of Rafael’s neck and pulls him closer. Their mouths fit together and that feeling of vindication comes back as Rafael parts his lips to let Sonny in. He knew it would be like this, he insists to himself as he takes his first taste of the man he’s wanted for months. Like all of his life has led up to this, like the rest of the world has frozen in time to let him have this moment. The two of them on the dance floor, this song in the air between them as Sonny captures Rafael’s lower lip between his own. He’s always known that the two of them were inevitable, had always known they would fit together.

Perfect, Sonny marvels.

He’s always known it would be perfect.

Take my hand. Take my whole life, too. For I can’t help falling in love with you…

“I’m happy I met you, Sonny,” Rafael whispers as the song comes to a close and their first kiss ends.

The first of many.

“Yeah,” Sonny replies. “Me too.”

#barisi #barisi fic #barisi au #rafael barba #sonny carisi #amanda rollins #mentions of other characters #sickening fluff #i am useless #sorry #writing prompt #ahumanfemale #my writing #thanks for playing anon

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skysquid22 · 7 years

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I love you ask, number 15.

15. Loud, so everyone can hear

“I hope you’re happy with yourself.”

Sonny slammed the door shut behind him, leaving nothing but an echo and a heartbroken Rafael.

He fucked up. There really was no other way to describe it, he had neglected his feelings and mistook Carisi for a fool. Sonny was right.

Rafael didn’t consider how he felt. Rafael didn’t consider a true relationship. Rafael didn’t like him.

Well. That last one was a lie. Rafael loved Sonny. He did think as their relationship as only as a affair but Carisi opened his eyes and made him realize that he loved him. Of course before the man in question left, while he desperately trying to apologize.

He needed to tell him before the damage was irreversible. Fortunately he knew where to find him. Unfortunately he was going SVUs annual Christmas party. Where not only cops and co-workers came, some people from the DA’s office where coming down to thank SVU and their valiant efforts. Essentially, some of the most important people in his life were going to be there, Sonny included.

Mind set Barba marched down to SVU determined to set things right.

When he arrived Christmas music flooded his ears and the entire squad room. There were people everywhere, sitting on desks, grabbing drinks, milling about. And over the sea of heads, standing a ledge of a wall to see, Barba saw a familiar blond-grey flash of hair.

“Sonny!”

Carisi turned from his conversation with Amanda and turned to his name. His expression immediately soured and he turned back to a worried looking Rollins.

“I love you!” He shouted even louder attracting the looks of most people, the crowd parted as Barba quickly pushed past them and settled in front of a confused Amanda and a tense Carisi.

“Look,” He breathed. “I’m a fool and I’m sorry for not realizing sooner.” His voice cracked, it was welled with emotion. “You have every right to still hate me for what I’ve done to you, but, I hope one day, you can forgive me. I…just need for you to know that…that I love you.” He faltered and lost his confidence, looking down and taking deeper breaths. He licked his lips and took in the crowd. He spotted Rollins with her jaw on the floor and Rita sitting with Fin. All eyes on him.

Sonny was speechless. As Barba turned toward the exit, head downcast, he grabbed the cuff of his jacket to force him to look at him. His hands traveled up to frame his face and kissed Rafael, hard. Before the kiss got too heated Sonny broke it and hugged him whispering into his shoulder, “Don’t do that to me again.”

Took a little longer than I thought, thanks for sending one in!

#barisi #ahumanfemale #my writing #number ask #skyspeaks

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barisi-trash · 7 years

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She’s not wrong. @ahumanfemale

#barisi #ahumanfemale #fics #fics for daaaaaays

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deansdirtylittlesecretsblog · 7 years

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Do you have any upcoming works for Dean/Donna? I need to know because... ahem. Because reasons.

Actually, I do. Here’s a little peek.

“Donna?” Dean took her hand, intertwining their fingers.

She smiled nervously at the hunter sitting beside her and straightened her skirt with her free hand. “I guess so,” she shrugged. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Hey, look at me.” Dean nudged her with his elbow, drawing her attention from straightening the lines of her skirt to his eyes. “I’ll be right there beside you the whole time. You and me, right?”

“You and me,” she nodded.

Dean wrapped a hand around the back of her head, pulling her to him, and pressed a kiss to her forehead, before he opened the car door and helped her out after him. They stood by the side of the car, her hand in his, Donna staring up at the building in front of them, shifting from foot to foot.

“Alright, let’s go,” she said.

#dean and donna #hanchester #winscum #deonna #ahumanfemale #mimi answers asks

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fallintomyhands · 4 years

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Blacked out card for @barisifandomevents !

Fake Relationship: Dreams – Asmodesgold (M)

· Barba gets the flu. Carisi gets more than he bargained for. A sweet, soft fic full of longing and loving care.

Wedding: In Vino Veritas – etothepii ( E )

· A bachelor party, a wedding, late nights in the office, and confusion. One of my favorite fics of Carisi figuring himself out, featuring a lot of unique but realistic situations, tenderness and heat, angst, and hopefulness. A fandom must read.

Alternate Universe: The Primitive and Sanctified – Konigsberg ( E )

· Demons exist, unbeknownst to SVU… except the members counted amongst their ranks. This is one of my favorite stories of all time, and please don’t let the supernatural elements (or the fact this is sadly still a WIP) “scare” you away! The “monstrous” elements are used to perfectly capture characterization, and this is the most tender fic I’ve ever read. Makes you want to crawl into the soft, dreamy feelings and live there forever. Please give this a shot if you haven’t already; perfection.

Crack Fic: Overstepping – rellkelltn87 (M)

· A raid on a real-life mad scientist goes horribly wrong, and ends with Carisi “in a family way.” I never thought I’d see an mpreg story in this fandom that could come off so believable, but this author works miracles (in a much kinder way than her characters!) Part casefic, part romance, all suspense, don’t pass this one up, you will not be disappointed!

Based on a Movie: Do Monsters Dream? – bourgeois ( E )

· Shape of Water AU in which Sonny works at an aquatic research facility and meets someone special. Takes place in a timeline where we see Carisi struggling after the Tom Cole incident, heart wrenchingly portrayed through his losses, personal and professional, and his meeting of another lonely, imprisoned soul. Beautifully written, absolutely captivating prose, wistful, heartfelt and magical.

Animals: Yuletide by the Fireside – Juniperhoot

· First Christmas with a new love, and unfortunately a new, smaller paycheck. Tenderness, cozy domesticity, and the most adorable dog ever singing along to bad TV music numbers; what more could you want? If your answer was ‘thoughtful characterization’ – that’s here too!

First Date: Everything Seems a Little Bit Sweeter – rafaelbaseball, burgeois

· Barba is obsessed with a YouTube chef, and enters a contest to meet him for dinner. One of the earliest fics I was obsessed with. The whole series is lovely, and the actual date is so tentative and lovely it makes my heart clench. Barba finding himself not in the age group of Sonny’s fans is painfully relatable and a stroke of genius.

Carisi Family: A Healing Year – Adrianna_m_scovill (M)

· A year in the life of Barba and Carisi, in which Barba faces his insecurities and begins to heal, and to love. A fantastic story from start to finish, with top notch characterization and intense emotions, steamy sex, and everything in between. I chose this for my family fic not just because there’s a lovely holiday spent with the Carisi family, but because the fic also embodies how Carisi manages to make everyone in his life his family. Utterly captivating story from an author that always makes an emotional impact.

Soulmates: Choose To Be With You – Robin Hood

· Sometimes the person who has your heart doesn’t have your soul. Great take on the soulmates trope, heartfelt, heartbreaking, mature. Insightful characterization of both characters, but especially Carisi, who faces an impossible situation, and reacts exactly how I believe the character would do.

Get Together: Noche Sin Estrella – Lambnoire

· Casefic in which Barba is injured, and Carisi figures something out about himself when his protective streak becomes something more. A pretty much perfect fic; perfect characterization, strong and realistic casefic, recurring canon characters that feel true to themselves, whump that expresses the right amounts of terror without delving outside the scope of the show, and a slow burn journey of romance and self-acceptance that is meticulously paced, utterly realistic and hits every emotional mark flawlessly. Now that it’s back, make sure you don’t miss out.

Break Up: Every Time We Touch – OblivionCastro

· Soulmate AU where the touch of your partner gives you pain. A 5+1 fic, a soulmate fic, but mostly, a lyrically written story of enduring pain and enduring its loss. A wonderful metaphor for the agony of love and loss that brings me to tears every time.

Secret Relationship: Pink (& Other Promises) – leslielol

· Barba and Carisi fall together, and decide to keep it under wraps for a while; results vary. A common premise with uncommonly good prose. Vivid, lyrical language wraps around a soft story about affection, subterfuge, and acceptance. A very different look at Barba and Carisi than the author’s main fic, but no less enduring and amazing.

WIP: Much Farther To Go – nukablastr (M)

· The threats on Barba’s life have been declared a cold case, but Carisi decides to do some investigating on his own to protect the man he loves. This is the third part of a long series detailing the “missing” events in S17, and exploring beyond into “what could have been” if this major plot hadn’t been dropped. I added part 3 for the WIP, but recommend reading from the beginning. This story is expertly paced and plotted, and feels absolutely like it could be a piece of canon. One of the seminal works of the barisi fic fandom; read it if you haven’t.

Shadowing: Mind if I Sit Down? – Larkin21 ( E )

· Another episode tag based story from S17, featuring Carisi and Barba entering into a casual relationship behind the scenes. There’s not really many (or any!) full stories of Carisi shadowing Barba, but I was glad to be able to include this series, which features a full chapter on the shadowing episode. Again, I recommend reading the entire series, as it’s full of fantastically written plot and characterization, seamlessly weaving deep insights on the characters and blisteringly hot sex into the best seasons of the show. Another not-to-be-missed series!

Get Together: I’m gonna leave it all out there to dry – littleblacksubmarine ( E )

· Carisi is barely keeping it together, and Barba is waiting to be allowed to help; a story of depression, self-loathing, comfort and devotion told through incredibly poignant intimate and sexual encounters. An unusual depiction of a very dark Sonny, and a protective, self-sacrificing Rafael who’s there for him every painful step of the way. Amazing story that captures perfectly some very different aspects of the characters than we typically see, and still feels 100% true. This story has broken and healed my heart so many times.

Holiday: Pass Here and Go On – abogadobarba

· After the events of Undiscovered Country, Barba and Carisi reconnect, by chance, on a train of all places. Full of atmosphere, literary references, and some of the best prose in the fandom. This story is pure poetry, creating a tone of loneliness and longing, the sense of expanse and yet confinement that only travel can bring, and ultimately peacefulness and hope.

Alternate Career Rafael: In This Light – Astronaut_Milky (M)

· Barba is a photographer, Carisi is a model, both men destined to keep finding… and losing, each other. Beautiful, sexy story about two men whose jobs keep bringing them together, and tearing them apart, full of light and heat and beautiful people and beautiful imagery.

Undercover: Have You Ever Wished For An Endless Night? – minnesotamemelord

· Carisi goes undercover at a high-powered legal event, and runs into someone familiar. A look at Sonny getting to go undercover at a nicer event than we normally see! Well written characterizations, and some interesting contemplations on unique issues, such as Carisi’s opinion on wealth and the wealthy that felt so spot on I immediately felt they were canon. Also, poor Rafael; he has such terrible friends!

5+1: We Had No Haste – alwaysbuddy

· Carisi and Barba meet over and over in the most coincidental of places, but succumb to their own insecurities. Breathtaking story about two should-be fated lovers who continue to meet and connect over a multitude of vacations, but can’t bring themselves to reach for what they want, until they fear it may be too late. Gorgeous, atmospheric, romantic and sad, in equal measure, with an ending that’s happy, but still exudes a sense of so much lost time. This fic haunts my thoughts in the best ways.

Cooking: Sustenance – AhumanFemale, tiberius (E )

· Barba’s friends buy him a live-in chef for a time, so he can stop living on pretzels and coffee. Sweeping piece of art that exudes sensuality and the feel of time slipping through your fingers.

First Meeting: Here and Now – wormghoul

· Barba and Carisi meet, and have a whirlwind romance, at LSAT camp before being parted until they meet again at SVU. The imagery and language used in this story has stuck with me for a long time. Shockingly, wrenchingly accurate descriptions of the feelings of holding memories dear, “as a talisman,” and the devastating feelings of having them torn away from you by reality… but also the hope that they can be made anew.

Crack Fic: It’s Not Too Late/Gag Order – cupidmarwani

· Carisi has a superpower, and has reached the end of his rope. Carisi has seen too much, and has the power to burn it all down. Barba wants to save him, but has to face stark reality. Short, intense story about the toll Carisi’s job takes on him, and how he becomes one of the monsters that he used to fight. Depressing, heartbreaking, terrifyingly relatable, this is an overlooked gem.

Confession: Him. – keraunoscopia

· Carisi struggles with his sexuality and internalized homophobia, and seeks aid from the Church. Quiet, powerful, painful, and so, so beautiful.

Domestic: Daylight – cypress_tree ( E )

· Carisi stays the night for the first time and Barba sees him in the sunlight. Short, sweet, hot. What’s more domestic than two people in love, unwilling to get out of bed and leave one another’s presence?

Fix It: Good Morning – Kaye_21 (M)

· A threat to Barba’s life does not end well – repeatedly! Another “supernatural” style fic that shouldn’t be overlooked, even if it’s not your genre. Barba, stuck in a room with Carisi and a man out to kill them both, needs to figure out what is required of him to prevent their deaths, before he loses his mind. Fantastic character study. Terrifying, sad, sexy and hopeful. I chose this one for “fix it,” since as barisi itself could be considered a canon “fix it” or missed opportunity, and this fic itself embodies Barba himself finding a way to be that fix.

#barisi fic rec bingo #barisi #fic recs

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