#after i move i really wanna not accept any money from her if i can help it. i really dont like her. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

strawberrysturniolo · 4 months

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SMUT WITH DEALER!CHRIS!!! YUHHH

hot and bothered // dealer!chris

veryyyyyy smutty summary: smoking with your dealer, chris, which turns into car sex

“Three grams should be fine.”

I don’t know shit about weed, yet here I am trying to negotiate the only cash I have with a random guy my friend knows. If I could look ahead of time and see myself standing here with my hands tucked in my sweatshirt pockets, kicking my feet around nervously as I wait for the dealer’s response, I would jump through the time warp and punch myself in the face.

“We’ve never met,” he notices, and I nod. “Do you smoke, or are you trying to start?”

I rub my lips together, trying to think. I never smoked before this. Well, a few times, but it was never something I did regularly. I didn’t have a reason not to, I just didn’t really care about it. My reason for starting now is pathetic. Even I know that.

Chris raises his eyebrows at me, eliciting a response to the question I never answered.

“You’re supposed to say deal and take my money. I’m keeping your business alive. Why do you care what I need the weed for?”

I realize the snippy tone I had shoved in his face, and I take a small step back, accepting defeat. This is getting ridiculous. I just want some fucking weed.

Chris scoffs, shifting the bag of weed from one hand to his other. “I was asking because I don’t want to fucking sell some lightweight girl weed that’s gonna make her spiral, so forgive me for asking. I don’t have to give you anything, you know? I have no problem turning down a deal.”

I watch as he shoves his hands with what I thought were going to be my belongings back into his pocket. My eyes widen, and I shake my head, trying to stop him.

“I’m just stressed out,” I confess, part of the truth. “I don’t like drinking, and I wanted to see if smoking would help.”

Chris pulls his hands back from his pockets, taking my cash and tucking it in his pants. “Wanna talk about it?”

I shake my head, my eyes following his hands, wondering if he just scammed me. He never hands me my purchase, he just watches me.

“You sure?”

A sigh leaves my throat, and before I even realize, my lips are moving and I’m spilling details about myself to him.

“I’m just dealing with a lot of stuff and–”

“It’s an extra 20 bucks for therapy.”

I roll my eyes. “Fuck off and give me my weed.”

He steps back before I can snatch anything from him. “I will gladly give your money back if I decide I shouldn’t give you anything because of why you want drugs. I’m only keeping the cash and the weed while we talk because you’re so desperate to spark up that I’m sure I could throw the bag and you’d run after it like a dog playing fetch.” He pats his hands on his thighs and widens his eyes at me, using a sort of baby voice as he says, “Who’s a good girl?” like I’m a fucking puppy.

“My boyfriend dumped me and I’m fucking depressed. My friend said weed would help take the edge off so I’m not a mess all the time, not that it’s any of your business.” The words start spewing out of my mouth. “Also, it’s weed, not heroin.”

He nods slowly, bringing his hand out of his pocket with a ziploc bag of weed. “Here.” I take the bag before he can retract his arm. “If you wanna talk at all, you can. Maybe I’ll lower my therapy price for you.”

I roll my eyes and start walking back to my car before turning around and calling out, “I never asked why you deal, so why do you care what I do with weed?”

He grins before he spins around on his feet and heads in the opposite direction. “Touche!”

–

I’ve been buying from Chris for weeks now. We meet up every so often, and when I run out of money, he suggests we smoke together so I can get the high I’m chasing without spending money.

The last few hours have been spent aimlessly scrolling through my phone, trying to distract myself from everything. I had completely forgotten about my plans for tonight until a message dropped from the top of my screen.

Hot dealer: Outside

“Shit,” I mutter to myself, pulling on a sweatshirt and shoes as I stumble out the door. I like his message as I make my way down so he knows I’m coming, and I nod my head to my roommate, silently saying goodbye while she watches a movie.

It’s not too cold in California tonight, but the shift of staying in my room all day under my covers sends chills down my layered body when I step outside. Even though Chris can see me, he tosses his hands up and lays his hand on the horn a few times.

“I’m right here, dickhead!”

He reaches over the center console and shoves my door open. “Well, I’m fucking hungry! Hurry the fuck up.”

I sit in the passenger seat and kick my shoes off immediately, and I watch Chris shake his head in disapproval as he throws the car into drive and peels off my street.

“Why do you do that shit?” he asks in an annoyed tone. I turn to him to argue back, but he beats me to it. “You get your smelly ass feet in here and lift them on the dash and the air blows right on them and then it fucking smells.”

“You’re dramatic as fuck. That’s not even true.”

He ignores me. “What do you want to eat?”

“Taco Bell.”

He nods. “Who’s buying?”

What a gentleman.

“I am,” I tell him. He grins. “I’m buying if it means you let me smoke your weed.”

He looks over his shoulder as he jerks the wheel to the left. “You’re just using me.”

“We use each other,” I remind him. “We do drugs and then we fuck. I get high, and you get laid. Everyone wins.”

This has been a fair trade since the start. I ran out of money and Chris made a move on me, one that I couldn’t turn down. I wanted him bad. I needed him. I can’t explain what we have. Maybe it’s friends with benefits. We don’t even feel like friends. It’s more of a business transaction.

Sometimes I wonder what my feelings for Chris really are. He’s a really good looking guy. I’ve never denied that. The last thing I want right now is a relationship. The very last thing would be to be with someone who isn’t my ex. Me and Chris will only ever fuck. I have no interest in having my heart broken, and he has no interest in committing to one girl.

My mind is everywhere else when he orders us food. I don’t even realize we’ve left Taco Bell until the sound of the bag hitting my lap snaps me out of my trance.

“Come on, eat,” he says like an instruction. “I know you haven’t left that bed, and if I ask you if you’ve eaten in the past day, I’m scared for the answer.”

I take a bite of a taco to shut him up.

He smiles and pushes the hair out of my face. “Atta girl.”

Once I finish my first taco, while he watches to make sure I don’t spit it out, he hands me a rolled joint like it’s a dessert.

I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank god.”

He pulls a lighter out of his pocket, waiting for me to put the joint in my mouth before he leans over and lights it for me. “Don’t think you’re smoking that by yourself. I want it back when it’s halfway. You shouldn’t smoke all that by yourself.”

I’m tired of him fucking me and then trying to give me instructions like he’s my guardian. One second I’m bent over the car with his dick leaving an imprint on my insides, and the next he’s telling me I need to be eating three meals a day and drinking water.

The first thought in my head when the burning sensation hits my throat is how pleased I am with this feeling. Everything is washing away. Everything feels right again.

“Why did you start dealing?”

Chris looks at me with furrowed brows, muffling a, “huh?” against the taco in his mouth. The question caught him completely off guard. He chews, swallows, then says, “Um, I needed the money, and I liked smoking. It’s literally as simple as that.”

There’s a point to all of this that I never really thought of or cared about until now.

“Why did you try to stop me from buying from you when I said I was sad and wanted an escape.”

He finishes his taco off, then looks straight ahead, avoiding me while he answers my burning question.

“I guess I was just dealing with a lot when I tried weed, and yeah it’s not a hard drug but, I couldn’t get the escape that I was looking for, so I just started trying all kinds of shit until it fucked me over,” he confesses. “You just looked so shy and scared and vulnerable, and I didn’t want to do the same thing to you just for a few extra dollars.”

“So you care about people?”

He grimaces and lets out a displeased groan. “God don’t put it like that.”

“Admit it!” I push a little further, removing the joint from between my lips and holding it with my pointer finger and my thumb. “You cared about me.”

He yanks the joint from me and lays it between his own lips. “I still do, dipshit.”

There’s a weird feeling of warmth that takes over my body. I definitely care about Chris. I just wouldn’t go as far as saying we’re anything more than acquaintances who smoke a lot and engage in other activities together while we’re high. We’ve never hooked up sober. We both know it’s a stupid idea. We only want each other when there are other elements involved, and we plan to keep it that way because it’s the only way that we make sense.

Even though I know all of this, I can’t help but stare at him like he’s the most fascinating person I’ve ever met.

“What are you thinking about?” he presses. I shake my head, embarrassed to think that there is any possibility I could have any sort of interest in Chris above what we have right now. “Tell me, baby.”

The nickname sends chills down my arms. I remember the first time he said that. He gave me an edible to try, and when I downed three, he said, “Okayyyyyy baby,” in a worried tone, then followed it with, “You’re staying here tonight. No way am I letting you drive home after you just dogged that shit.”

His eyes meet mine, and he chuckles. “Fuck, I love being high.” His free hand reaches for my chin, holding it between two of his fingers. “It’s like everything else just poof… vanishes. Nothing matters anymore.”

I nod, finding myself distracted with the pounding of my heart against my ribcage as his thumb strokes my cheek.

“What’s crazy is,” he continues. “Even when I’m not high, I am because I’m with you. You know?”

And I’m back.

“What?”

He doesn’t say anything else. He places the softest kiss to my lips, then takes another hit of the joint before he lets it out, turning his head back around and kissing me harder with both hands on my face.

My mind is racing, but my hands are desperately trying to hold onto him in any way. They find the back of his neck, toying with the curls at the base of his neck. He groans against my mouth, letting me know over and over again that he loves where I am. He grows needier with his mouth, fighting his tongue against mine until our teeth are clashing. He sucks on my bottom lip, sliding the driver's seat backwards before lifting me over the center console and resting me in his lap.

I gasp at the impact of his hard dick pressing my throbbing clit when I sit down on him. Without missing a beat, he yanks my sweatshirt off and presses his mouth on my neck, sliding the straps of my tank top down so he can kiss my collarbone with as much freedom as he desires.

“How is every part of you so perfect?” he asks in a whisper as if I could answer that question. I would do anything to see myself in his eyes.

“It’s not–”

“Hush.”

I can’t keep myself from rocking my hips lazily on his. Everything is so messy and done without any care other than us getting each other off. Chris’ head tips back when I slow down over his tip, finding it with ease even though we’re both clothed.

“Ohhhh god baby,” he purrs, his eyes feathering shut as he drops his head back into my neck, nipping at my collarbone. His hands slide up my tank top, pinching my nipples.

“Fuck, Chris,” I whine. Between his hands on me and his dick rubbing against my pussy, I’ll be a goner soon.

“Yeah? What do you want?” he teases, gripping my hips tighter and rocking me with more force.

At this point, I only grind on him harder. The friction gives me so much, yet not enough at the same time.

When I don’t answer him, he grips my jaw. “Answer me.”

I stop moving, breathing heavier as I try to catch up with myself. “Just like this. Want you to fuck me.”

Chris' smile grows like this is all he’s waited for, but it quickly falls to a pout as he rubs his hand over my cheek. I take the chance when his thumb is poking at my lip to suck it into my mouth, letting my tongue twirl around it.

“You know you don’t make the rules,” he reminds me. “If I fuck you in here, it’s in the backseat.”

I nod, agreeing to anything he wants if it means his dick is stretching me out. “That’s fine, just please.”

His hand gives my ass a tap in agreement as he lightly bucks his hips up into mine. “Get in the back.” I obey, stepping out of the car and opening the back door. “Ass up,” he adds.

As soon as I’m on my hands and knees with my butt up, I hear the other back door close, and Chris’ hands on my waist follow immediately after. “Yeahhhh good girl.” He yanks my sweatpants down, leaving them around my knees. He presses wet kisses on my ass cheek before slapping over the same spot. “You’re so good for me baby, listening so well, hmm?”

“Uh huh,” I moan out as his hand strikes the spot again.

He peels off my underwear at a painfully slow rate. I hear Chris gasp behind me, a cocky smirk so obviously on his face even though I can’t see him. His thumb rubs over my slit, spreading my arousal around. “Fuckkk, you little slut.”

“Chris, please,” I plead desperately. His thumb continues to rub over me until he pushes it inside, moving it in circular motions and waiting to hear my moans of approval. “More.”

“So greedy, aren’t you?”

I can’t stop my hips from following the motion of his hand. Every time he slides his thumb out, my ass is trying to make sure his finger doesn’t have the chance to leave my pussy.

He replaces his thumb with two fingers, making my body go still as I get used to the feeling. A whimper leaves my lips as he starts pumping slowly, and I become a complete mess when his tongue is added.

“Chris,” I pant his name. Any and all vocabulary has been stripped from me. I’m unable to form full sentences.

His tongue flattens over my pussy before he curls the tip of it, slipping between me. He uses one hand to finger me and the other to hold my legs apart and keep them from clenching together when it becomes too much.

“You can take it baby, I know you can,” he assures me, sounding so sweet until he adds, “If you can’t take my fingers, how are you going to take my cock in your tight pussy?”

We stay in that position for a few minutes. My knees buckle over time as the pleasure becomes too much, a ball of fire growing in my stomach.

My hand reaches behind me and grips his wrist. “Chris–”

“Don’t you dare fucking cum,” he warns. I fall silent, hearing only the sound of the fabric covering his lower half being pushed down. I look over my shoulder, watching him stroke his hard cock. His chin is pressed to his chest, his eyes flickering between my pussy and his dick. “You’re gonna sit there and take it like a fucking good girl and wait for me, right?”

“Uh huh,” I nod breathlessly, forcing myself to keep it together despite noticing the feeling of me dripping down my own legs already.

Seconds later, his tip is teasing my entrance, and he gives me no warning before pushing himself in. I don’t need time to adjust anymore. His body fits perfectly with mine, and before he starts thrusting at a steady pace, he leans over and rests his chest on my back, moving my hair out of the way before gently kissing the back of my neck.

“You look so good, baby.”

I hum in response, struggling to speak when his dick buries itself deeper. He takes that sound as a sign to start thrusting into me, holding his hands at my hips and pulling me back into him, meeting him halfway.

“Fuck, that’s it. Take my cock like that,” he mutters. There’s nothing shy about Chris, especially during sex. He’s the most out there kind of guy, always suggesting something new to keep things fun, introducing me to more things than drugs.

I struggle to make any sound other than staggered moans and broken cries of pleasure. I need him in every way. I crave him more than any drug I’ve tried.

I lift my ass higher as I drop my head into the seat. His hand slaps my ass, thrusting harder afterwards.

Everything about this moment is perfect. The high I had been chasing, this with Chris, the way his dick fills me perfectly like it was made for me.

A gasp leaves my mouth before I even realize I’m making a sound. “I’m gonna cum.”

He doesn’t respond. He picks up the pace and fills me deeper, and I grip onto the door for support. My moans are uncontrollable at this point.

“Gonna cum in your pussy,” he mumbles. “Watch it all pour out of you.” He groans as I clench around him, my orgasm flying out of me and leading him to his. He groans as his pace slows, his thrusts becoming messier and desperate. He fills me in seconds, pulling out and jerking off so the rest lays on my ass. He moans at the sight of his cum dripping out of my pussy before he uses his tongue to clean up the mess we made. “You okay?”

I nod. He dresses himself and gets a napkin to clean the rest of our cum with. After placing one kiss to my ass cheek, he pulls my sweatpants back up.

“I’ll buy you plan B before I drop you off,” he assures me. I’ve heard this sentence far too many times from him. He notices my silence and asks. “You sure you’re good?”

“Yeah,” I lie. “Just need to smoke some more.”

He laughs a bit then leans to the front of the car to fish out another joint.

I know exactly what the issue is.

I’m falling for my dealer.

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo x reader

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sl-ut · 5 months

Text

random college!abby hcs

more!college abby

warnings: mentions of sex, drinking, drugs, and nudity, cursing, mild hint homophobia

first things first: jerry is alive and abby is his pride and joy

i'm serious... her mom died when she was a toddler and jerry hasn't had a long-term relationship since, so he's the only parental figure that she has

he took every precaution while raising her to make sure she always had everything she could ever need while also making sure that she didn't end up being an entitled brat

otherwise, she is very close with both of her father's siblings (her aunt is the only maternal relationship she has and definitely relied on her for all of her personal issues as a teenager), has a good relationship with jerry's mother and step-father

her mother was an only child, but her parents always come over for thanksgiving and even christmas sometimes

she was very supportive of her father taking in yara and lev after she moved out. she knew he was suffering from a severe case of empty nest syndrome. she def makes them feel so welcome right away like those strangers became her siblings in a matter of minutes

i'll only say it once ppl: OLD MONEY

jk i'll say it again. the andersons are a long line of surgeons and doctors so obvi they're gonna be well off

like, not "fund a research facility to get my kid into college" rich, they're more "i casually have a summer home, a ski chalet, and a ridiculously nice house to live in year round" rich.

her only real relationship was in high school (trigger warning: it was owen)

our bby had a bad case of comphet as a teenager

like fr she had not even considered the fact that she might be gay until she was two knuckles deep in some sorority girl during a party in her freshman year

after that she sort of just accepted it, she had no concern of her dad bc obviously he would be so accepting and supportive, but a few of her relatives def had an issue with it right off the bat (old money, old values)

she's been friends with manny, nora, owen, and mel since middle school, and the only one whose view of her seemed to change was owen (and mel too ig bc she stopped seeing abby as such a threat)

he drunkenly questioned her about it once, saying something super gross and along the lines of "you didn't seem gay when we were together"

to which she responded by offering him two choices; he could sit down and shut up or she would knock him tf out

he's cooled it since then but everyone knows that he still has a big fat crush on her so he still wants to believe he has a chance (even tho he was literally already talking to mel before they broke up and announced they were together only a few days after)

she's pre-med, majoring in bio and minoring in something totally different like classical lit or history or something

she's gonna end up being an orthopedic surgeon but later on in her career i can see her turning to teaching at a university or something

like doctor!abby turned prof!abby???? omg

is very health conscious

she's a gym rat, this we already know

she also takes her diet very seriously as well, but always has a secret stash of junk for when she really needs it

also careful with her alcohol/drug intake

she drinks on occasion (birthday, christmas, new years, etc, etc) but usually not very much (will almost always be sober enough to be the sober driver if need be)

she refuses to do any drugs during lacrosse season. she's so strict with her diet during the season that she won't ingest anything other than quality, nutritious food. she also needs to submit a drug test a few times per season so she doesn't wanna risk it.

in the off season, she's more willing to have a puff or two at a party or take an edible before a movie night or something (i don't see her doing any drug other than weed)

she lived with manny during her freshman and sophomore years

they had a shitty little apartment a few minutes away from campus

it was the only one that manny could afford on a student budget, and he refused abby's offer to get a nicer apartment and let her pay a larger portion of the rent than he did

they still had fun either way

manny loved having another person he could talk about girls with (he was initially gonna move in with owen but then he got ditched for mel)

every sunday morning they would get takeout for breakfast so manny could recount his night with the girl that had snuck out only a few hours earlier

she was a little hesitant to join in and share her own stories, but she finally got more comfortable in talking to him about it (RESPECTFULLY!!!!!!! she was so scared that she was gonna end up sounding like a literally disgusting pig but she keeps the details to a minimum and only says nice things unless the girl was a major bitch)

she's a lululemon/gymshark girly. her go-to style is definitely any variation of athlesiure. she wears lots of joggers, dry-fit tops, and the cleanest pair of white sneakers you'll ever see

underneath, i'm picturing her as more of a bralette type of girl. obviously she wears a sports bra to the gym, but on a regular basis, she likes wearing bralettes over bras bc she doesn't need that much support so they offer just enough without the discomfort of a bra

i'm settling the debate rn everyone, college!abby wears boxers AND panties

she finds boxers more comfortable on a day to day basis, but she likes wearing cheekies and thongs especially when she's wearing leggings

so dorky

she was definitely a sci-fi/fantasy kid

she grew up on harry potter, lord of the rings, star wars, etc etc

would love a partner who would watch them with her and actually enjoy it

unironically makes gym thirst traps on tiktok

her followers always comment supportive things like: looking good!, major gainssss, muscle mommy come destroy this pu-

still wears the iconic braid, but usually only when she's on the field. she occasionally wears her hair down, but i hc that she still likes to wear her hair pulled back in a cute little braided ponytail or a messy low bun

when she's older SHE CUTS HER HAIR OMG OMG OMG like literally i'm purring rn

like ik you've all seen that edit of her with super short hair omg she's so hot

in her junior year she decided to live on her own

manny moved in with jordan, who had been begging him for a while since the rent was more than he could handle on his own, though manny's rent would actually be cheaper than it was in his apartment with abby

they still do their traditions tho, still having sunday breakfast, still going to the campus pub on fridays for trivia, still going to the gym together on wednesdays...

they're actually besties i love them

when she's on her period, she craves salty foods

is so frustratingly confident in her emotions

will always try to diffuse the situation and pissing the other person off with her calmness

takes really good care of her skin

her favourite drink is diet cranberry gingerale

she's a dog person, but she would definitely enjoy having a cat around too

adopts a rescue dog a few weeks after finishing her residency

uses old spice fiji body wash and deodorant (SHE SMELLS SO FUCKING GOOD) and a musky vanilla body spray

likes to feel and be clean, but isn't too fussed about her body hair so long as it looks tidy. she isn't anti shaving, and will probably make an effort to shave more regularly in the early stages of a relationship until she's more confident and comfortable around the person

NSFW

down-there hair? duh

like i said, she likes to keep things tidy so she'll trim and maybe shave her bikini line if she's feeling it but that's it. she's not fussed with body hair, whether it's her or her partner's

again, she'll make an effort to keep herself looking neat and tidy for the first bit of a relationship but after a few weeks she's not afraid to go full-bush when she doesn't wanna shave

she doesn't love penetration. fingers are one thing, but she has only had not-so-great experiences with sex that involved a penis-like object. she'd wanna be the one wearing the strap for the most part, but she'd be willing to try it again with the right person

slow and passionate sex >>>>>

considers herself to be very vanilla but she's actually kinda kinkyyyyy (she gets so embarrassed and blushy when anyone calls her out for it)

she prefers scissoring to using her strap (but she LOVES her strap)

she doesn't like to choke her partners, but she will reach her hand up and just hold their throat while they're fucking

she's always so sensitive

came in like thirty seconds during her first time with another girl

she's noiiiiisssyyyyyyyy

she usually starts out with just heavy panting breaths, then they turn into deep grunts, then she begins to whine from low in her throat, and finally she begins to gasp out words of praise or curses

she squirts teehee

like i said she's always so sensitive, so if she's any ways worked up when someone's going down on her they better watch out bc they're in the splash zone

her strap is purple and sparkly

abby anderson eats ass

her nipples are super sensitive too

not really nsfw but she really loves casual nudity with her partners, changing in front of each other, hopping in the shower together, using the bathroom with the other person in the room...

she's a boob girl. doesn't matter if they're big, small, saggy, or perky, she just wants to suck them

when she's on top, she likes to pull her partner's leg over her shoulder and will just start like trailing kisses along the length of their calf

she's a literal munch

will use it to her advantage too

tells her partner she'll go down on them if they finish their assignments

#reader insert #x reader #imagines #lesbian #abby anderson #abby anderson imagine #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #abby tlou #college!abby anderson

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redheadspark · 5 months

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Hello! Can I request #1 and #3 with Barry Keoghan? ❤️

AN - Thanks for the request, anon!

Thanks To You

Summary - Barry brings you peace when your world is rocked

Warnings - Angst with barely any fluff

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Not really,”

Barry’s fingers that were in your hair paused, hearing the tension in your voice as you were watching the window outside, seeing the snow falling gracefully from the sky and cars driving along the street. The world was still rolling by, though it felt like a standstill in your little apartment while the soft sounds of the fireplace were heard in front of you both. Curled up on the couch, head in Barry’s lap as he was giving you both the intimacy of being close to you and space to let you talk about how heavy your heart was.

The heaviness of your mother kicking you out of her home.

The last few years living with her was hard for you, her hardened heart was always on her sleeve and she was never shy in showing it to those who would defy her. Ever since your parents divorced and your father found love with a new wife, your mother did the divorce rather hard and became bitter because of it. You were merely living with her to both save up some money to move out on your own and to get some money in your savings. Plus it was easier for you since your work was right down the street from your mother's house, but it was also a literal hell.

The only ray of light that was in this whole mess was your boyfriend Barry.

You made sure Barry and your mother were never left alone in the room. She briefly met him when he came to pick you up for a date, already analyzing him since he was an up-and-coming actor. You knew she was judging him, even when he introduced himself to her and he was beyond courteous and polite. It made you feel embarrassed, apologizing to him when he drove you off to the dinner. Barry wasn’t worried about it, winking at you, and then laced your hands together to show you that he was okay with it.

“I don’t care what she says about me,” Barry reassured you when you slept over at his apartment one night, “I’ll use my Barry charm on her to win her over in due time,”

“It might be impossible with her,” You said with a groan as he chuckled, “It’ll be an uphill battle when it comes to my mom,”

“Challenge accepted then,” Barry said in a cocky manner, though you poked his side and he laughed. You loved that Barry would make things light for you when he knew you were stressed out with your mom. He whisked you away on weekend trips or mini-vacations that he would take thanks to a recent movie gig he landed. Those little mom tens, pockets of joy even, made your heart grow for him.

The last thing you expected though, right before Christmas of course, was to get into a fight with your mother over Barry and then get kicked out because she was filled with spite.

Barry came over to your house as soon as you texted him and told him what happened, helping you pack your clothes and a small cluster of things that you wanted to keep with you. He said nothing to your mother, who was scowling out on the back porch a you were crying in your bedroom and trying to get the rest of your things in the small bags that you did have. After a few minutes, Barry took your bags and walked you out of his car. He drove off with you, leaving your past behind without your mother not even saying goodbye.to you.

You called your father when you made it to Barry’s apartment, telling him all that happened. Ever thankful that your father was supportive of you, he made sure to wire you some money to get on your feet and made sure you knew that his home was available for you to come to. Yet you were safer with Barry, on the other side of town a bit away from your mother. The first thing you said to Barry after hanging up the phone, seeing him watch you with Conner in his eyes, were four simple yet moving words that made you feel so small.

“Please just hold me,” you whimpered, feeling overwhelmed from all that happened within an hour. Barry had you within his arms instantly as you sobbed and unleashed all that pain that was festering.

“You don’t have to hide your tears from me,” Barry reassured you as you moved your head on his lap to look at the ceiling, noticing a tear escaping from the corner of your eye as Barry kept talking, “I know what’s it like with that kind of family. It hurts, but it won’t last forever,”

“She said those nasty things about you, I couldn’t hold my tongue because I knew they were false. But now…. I’m homeless,” You said in a defeated sigh. Barry tutted as he shook his head.

“You’re not homeless,” he reminded you, then gesturing to the small apartment you two were in, “We’ve already talked about moving in together, so now this is your place. We can get the rest of your stuff another time—“

“I don’t want anything else,” You gently interrupted as you slowly blinked, your heart feeling less heavy but still damaged. You could still hear her voice in the back of your mind, bad-mouthing Barry and thinking of him as mediocre and cocky. It killed you to hear that since you knew him to be far better. He was kind, down to earth, and beyond generous. He was a brilliant actor, as well as a brilliant human being, and for your mother to wish to see only the bad side of it was heartbreaking. No matter that you two were on uneven ground or the bridge you two had was beyond broken, she was still your mother.

Your mother who now shunned you and kicked you out of her life.

“She can burn the rest of my stuff for all I care,” You said bitterly, “I only got what I needed from that house, thanks to you.”

Barry smiled, though the look on his face seemed concerned about how you were reacting this way. He knew you to be strong, tough as nails when it came to your work and fending for yourself. He also knew you wore your heart on your sleeve and loved helping others when you could, there was no selfish bone in your body.

So all Barry could do was simply watch you as you moved your head again to look out the windows, watching the snowflakes cascade along the window. He was mentally telling himself that all he could do was simply be present for you in this time, knowing the plenty of times when you were there for him when he needed support. You always took his hand, giving him sweet words of encouragement, there was never a time when Barry truly felt alone when it came to you.

Now it was his turn to return the favor.

The End.

Hurt and Comfort Prompt Session

#barry keoghan #barry keoghan x reader #barry keoghan x female reader #barry keoghan imagine #barry keoghan x oc #barry keoghan x you #barry keoghan angst #fanfiction #writing #my love

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temporaryrose200 · 2 years

Note

Before I add my request, I just wanna say you ah r the prettiest tumble page I have ever seen, like ever.

I hope you don’t mind doing a William James Moriarty (from moriarty the patriot) x a female reader who is from a foreign country and came to England for her education.

Thank you :)

✟pairing: William James Moriarty x Fem Reader

✟genre: Fluff

✟warning: slight sexist man

✟headcanons

✟fandom: Moriarty The Patriot

✟a/n: Thank you for requesting this. I love Moriarty The Patriot, it’s one of my favourites. I didn’t know how to really write this, so it’s not my best. But anyway, hope you like:)

➳You met William when you were at his University yelling at the headmaster. This would obviously peak William’s interest, so he began to listen. That’s when he understood what was going on. The university only accepted men, so when you tried, you were outright turned down. So here you were yelling at the headmaster, sometimes in English before in your native tongue. You were kicked out soon after, not before the headmaster banned you from ever coming back and if you did he would get the authorities. It would be the next day when William would see you again. He saw you standing outside the gates of the University about to go in. If it wasn’t for him, you would probably be in jail. Here you were on a bench with William explaining why you wanted to join this university. You talked about moving from your old country to England for better education, but because you were a woman nobody would let you in. William felt bad, you came all this way just for you told you were not allowed to do something because of your gender. So William made a deal with you. Every Saturday you and William would meet at the local library so he could give you some lessons. “And what do you get?” you asked, giving the blonde-haired man a wary look. William let out a small chuckle before answering. “That will be decided in the future.”

➳ Now like the deal said every Saturday you would meet up with him at the library for 1 hour to learn something. It could be maths or some history. He teaches you everything you wanted to know. The more he spent time with you, the more he learned stuff about you. Not only did you have to fight because of your gender but for many other things too. Your family wasn’t the richest people, they had problems making money, so you took it upon yourself as the oldest to get a good education so you could get a well-paying job for you and your family. William found your will to lean admirable. The two of you began growing a great friendship. You would not only spend every Saturday at the library but would also arrange little meetups. Before William and you fell in love.

➳Now lets times skip the confession and let’s talk about the relationship part. Going out with a professor/the world’s smartest man has its perks. You get free lessons any day of the week. If Williams’s not busy of course. The lesson’s that he teaches you would be different than before. Like now when you and him are doing Science, you can actually now do small experiments. And don’t you worry, his brothers adore you. They heard how highly William spoke about you and they were happy to see their brother was finally with someone like you. But one day, all the brothers know, that this happiness won’t last. The day will come when William has to go, but until then he can stay happy with you.

#moriarty the patriot #yuukuko no moriarty #yuukuko no moriarty x reader #moriarty the patriot x reader #x y/n #x reader #x reader imagines #y/n imagine #william james moriarty #william james moriarty x reader #william moriarty #william moriarty x reader #fanficion #fanfic

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editorialsonlife · 27 days

Text

HOW IS IT APRIL ALREADY

who wants a chaotic life update coz here we go

We just submitted an offer on a house in palmy, eeeeeeeek. So moving to a whole other city an hour and a half away from where we currently live. Likely to be accepted and have been working through all the admin for mortgage approvals and selling our current home and buying new up there. We’ll be going from a 90m2 house to a 200m2 house on a larger section - it’s going to be hilarious to live somewhere so massive.

Antidepressants are the best things in the world I should have done them years ago.

Work is a wild shitshow, thanks to a prime minister who can’t accept that running a country and a company are two fundamentally different things. Consequently, work is currently calling for voluntary redundancies and then will kick off a change process in May. Will I have a job come 1 July? Who knows. Current math suggests job losses for ~1200 people across our 3500 ish back office staff so watch this space.

Thanks to antidepressants, I can’t even be stressed about this. It’s amazing!!!

Dave got a solid bonus this year, which is amazing. They did it so tough last year through all the flooding and having clients on suicide watch and everything else and they really Fkn earned it so yay. Waiting to find out what his pay rise will be as well.

At least both of us can keep our current jobs when we move and just commute a couple of days a week ( I’m in denial about the reality of this but anyway)

Naturally my sister and her husband couldn’t possibly be left out so have also put an offer on a house up there but it was so impulsive and a really dumb choice but it’s been accepted so their only hope now is they can’t sell their current house.

Fuck I’m glad we don’t have stamp duty in this country.

I signed up for an online bootcamp class on zoom that’s 530 every morning coz let’s be real I ain’t doing nothing after work apart from collapsing in a heap and it’s been so fun! They are v much like, this is your first start back in a while these are your regressions we expect to see you using them and then don’t shame you for it either? And are just like, too hard? Don’t use weights then? And my god is it ever a relief for my poor overweight body to not be forcing it to move in ways it can’t and reminding myself that actually I can do pretty amazing things if I give it a chance and it’s just been such a massive mental win. Maybe over the next few months I might get my eating sorted you never know.

I signed up for it as a 6 week challenge kinda thing and I’m 99% sure I haven’t lost any weight which was not at all the point of signing up for it - it was proving to myself I could be consistent with something and I’ve achieved that so yay.

Dave and I are good which is lovely. Even started talking to the counsellor about all my sex hang ups which is deeply unpleasant and awkward but at least it moving things along a bit??? 🤮🤮🤮😬😬😬😳😳

Have I mentioned lately how good antidepressants are honestly?? I have my brain back and my personality and it’s wild.

We wanna start having kids this year? Also wild.

Had a birthday and now I’m 34 and somehow it’s April? I do not understand time at all honestly.

I fucking love my new doctor he’s actually the best I will not be changing when we move.

I’m excited for a slower, quieter pace of life and more chill. I’m honestly done with my girl boss era. I’ve made the money and chased the titles and it’s exhausting honestly. (Watch this change again rapidly)

I was away for 7 of 8 weekends across Feb and March and it was INSANE. weddings. TAYLOR SWIFT ERAS TOUR!!!!! Birthdays and friend birthday and mum and I went to Pink and other birthdays and it was way too much. Oh, and house hunting mixed in. Plus ya know, a full time job in the mix.

It’s been a Fkn massive start to the year, and she ain’t slowing down any time soon.

Antidepressants man. Wild the difference they have made to my life. WILD.

Happy and grateful for my life and everyone in it and all the madness that it is right now. Someday it’ll be chill right??? I’ve been saying that since 2019 at some point I’ll accept that the answer is no.

Cool cool cool what a wild ride.

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depressopax · 2 months

Text

24 Hours - Nairobi Smut

Fandom - La casa de papel/Money Heist

Pairing: Nairobi x female reader Genre: Smut (kinda hurt/comfort too) Warning(s): Sexual content. MDNI! Reader is referred to as “woman/girl” and feminine pet names. Spanish words (Lmk if I got any wrong!) Dom!Nairobi/Sub!reader, praise and degradation. Insults (reader referred to as “slut”. Fingering - reader receiving and oral. Rough sex, strap-on toys (referred to as “fake-cock”). Cuss words, mentions of alcohol/drunkenness. Nairobi being kinda possessive. Words: 1.3K Summary: Nairobi and reader spend the night before the heist together English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! <3 || AO3 link || Masterlist || Request ||

After twisting and turning in bed all night, you accept defeat. How are you supposed to sleep when the heist is in less than one day?

The five months spent in the Toledo House felt so long, yet went by so quickly.

Although you feel totally safe with the Professor's plan you still know what could go wrong.

A soft knock on the door distracts you from the increasing anxiety.

“You up, Athens?”

Nairobi. Your heart skips a beat and you tip-toe to the door, letting your lover in. She’s wearing beige pajamas in satin and her dark hair is out. She smiles at you and quietly takes a seat on your bed. Once the door is closed again the two of you sit quietly. The anxiety is once again occupying your mind.

“You’re shaking.”

“Hmm?”

She places a warm and firm palm on top of your thigh to stop your leg from bouncing. Tilting your head, Nairobi makes you meet her brown eyes.

“Talk to me, mi princesa”

“I’m just worried about the heist.” You sigh and look at her like hypnotized. “But I don’t wanna talk about it right now.”

Her lips curl and the grip on your thigh gets tighter.

“What you wanna do, princesa?”

You close the distance between the two of you, meeting in a tender kiss.

No personal relationships. Was one of the rules for the heist. Unfortunately, Nairobi and you fell in love. You’ve been very discreet the entire time tho. You know how important the heist is for Nairobi, with her plan of finding her son. She’s a perfectionist and has been able to focus on the heist, despite what she has with you. Surprisingly she manages it well.

Two months ago you ended up in bed together after dinner and had drunk sex.

Never again. You promised each other, which lasted a week. After that, the Friends-with-benefits deal had turned into something deeper and more intimate. You haven’t really discussed the relationship and plan after the Royal Mint Heist, both afraid to ruin the beautiful feelings growing for one another.

“At this time tomorrow, we’ll be in the royal mint.” She murmurs as her hand travels to your inner thigh and onto the lining of the cotton panties.

“Yea.” Your mouth feels dry and you hold back a moan when her fingers firmly press against your clothed clit.

“I’ll miss touching you.”

“I’ll miss touching you too, Nairobi.”

You grow more aroused under her gentle strokes, grinding against her fingers in hope of deeper contact.

“Next time I fuck you, we’ll be millionaires. Maybe we’ll have our own place. Some privacy, where I can make you scream my name…”

With that, her fingers slide into the now damp panties. You gasp at the feeling of her skilled fingers moving around your lips teasingly.

“...But for now…” She enters you with one finger. “This will have to do.”

“Nairobi…”

“I know, princesa.” Another finger pushes into your heat.“You remember the rules.”

The rules.

Be quiet

Be obedient

“Yes…”

“We don’t want to wake the others up? Have everyone know what a slut you are, moaning from just my fingers…” She taunts you, pushing harder now.

“Wouldn’t it be bad enough if the Professor realises we’re in a relationship?”

The dark haired woman just laughs at your attempts to talk normally while she curls her fingers up against your G-spot.

“That too.” With a more serious voice, she adds: “Will you promise to keep quiet if I proceed?”

You nod, unable to utter a word right now without moaning. Her curled fingers are pressed roughly against your g-spot and send waves of pleasure throughout your whole body. When she pulls out you whine a bit too loudly. She gives you a warning glare while opening the drawer with your clothes. She finds the strap-on and harness she’s looking for and walks back to bed with that smug smirk you adore.

“What you waiting for? Expecting me to do all the work, princesita?” She teases. You blush up in frustration and pull Nairobi in for a kiss. Your tongue massages hers while you strip her out of the pajamas shorts and tank top. You cup her breasts and give them a light squeeze. She moans into your mouth and sits down in your lap, her fingers back against your heat again. You use each other's bodies to get off. Nairobi almost rides your thigh whilst you massage her boobs and she continues finger-fucking you.

“Fuck… I need to be inside of you.” She almost growls and stands up, adjusting the strap-on. “Lube me up”

You know it’s an order rather than a suggestion. Nairobi loves it when you suck her fake-cock. As usual she moans and cusses, acting as if she could actually feel the movements off your glossy lips against the red plastic. She pushes your head forward, collecting drool all over the length. Your gags are like music to her ears.

She leaves you no time for rest before helping you up on bed. Placing a pillow under your hips, she rolls you to lie down on stomach. The position makes you feel exposed, with the pillow lifting your ass and glistening cunt up for her hungry gaze while your upper body presses against the mattress. She strokes your clit soothingly and guides the head of the fake-cock to your wet entrance. She pushes into your pussy. The slight stretch makes you wince. It takes a while for your insides to envelope the cold plastic.

Nairobi is patient with you and lets you adjust to her size.

“That’s a good girl. Look at you, taking my cock so well… My perfect little slut.”

She strokes your bare back and the cold metal from her rings causes goosebumps to rise on your sweaty skin.

Once somewhat comfortable with the intruding object Nairobi thrusts forwards. Even though she can’t feel it herself, she grows wet from watching her good girl taking the cock so well. She loves those sweet squirms and those attempts to hold back the loud moans. Everything about you makes her want to fuck you senseless and leave you a panting mess, hoarse from screaming her name. Not yet, not yet… The dark haired woman thinks.

Once the heist is over she can focus on making you “her woman”. Maybe even start a family with you… The thoughts make her movements more frantic, her mind flooding with images of what future she could have with you. No one else should be able to fuck you like this, not only does she want you to belong to her - she wants to be yours, too. The thought of someone else touching you makes her growl and push the strap-on deeper into your aching pussy. One day, she might even put a ring on your finger.

But for now, she will enjoy the night with you, enjoy your body and the way you respond to her rough treatment.

Nairobi is lying in your bed, not caring about going back to her own bed. She wants to be with you, her sleeping beauty. How can she leave her lover now, after what they just did? She may have been rough, but made it up to you with some praise and oral pleasure. She even took a late-night shower with you and tucked you in bed. You did so well for her and Nairobi’s heart swells with pride.

She’s glad to see you get some rest, knowing it’s a big day ahead.

She kisses your forehead and decides to fall asleep with you. She squeezes your body closer to her and cuddles her face against your neck. Nairobi breathes in the scent of your new-washed hair, She makes a promise to you, and herself, before her eyes close for the night:

“I’ll keep you safe, mi vida. I’ll be by your side. Fuck… I love you, Athens.” She whispers although she knows you can't hear her. “...Goodnight, mi princesa.”

I need her to wife me up RN please and thank you Nairobi

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beneathashadytree · 2 years

Note

that one request where sherlock comes back after the timeskip to his wife who had a baby gave me inspiration for my own request! so this would probably work better for one of the moriarty brothers or mycroft or any character of “noblity/status” but feel free to do whoever!

so the scenario, just a warning, it’s LONG: Y/N is a woman of poor/middle class status and she’s dating one of the moriarty brothers/someone of status. she becomes the subject of gossip for all of upper class society and a bunch of nasty rumors are spread about her like how she’s a gold digger or how she’s only using him to social climb etc. but Y/N doesn’t tell her bf all of the shit that happens cause she doesn’t want to worry him. and he proposes to her and Y/N hesitantly but happily accepts, except the bullying and rumors just get worse until it hits an all time high where someone threatens Y/N telling her to break up with her fiancé of they release a bunch of scandalous stuff about him. so she basically breaks it off with him saying a bunch of stuff like how she only used him for money and how she never loved him etc and then runs away. and Y/N REALLY doesn’t want him to find her going as far as to moving to America or even faking her death so he would stop trying to find her. and i was thinking it could end in 2 ways but you can also write your own if you want! these are just what i thought of! so there’s 1 ending where he figures out what happened, manages to find Y/N, and they reunite and it’s all super cute. or 2, for a LOT more heavy angst, he finds out what happened, manages to find Y/N, but she’s dying in childbirth/has died already and left a newborn baby behind and it’s very angst filled but also bittersweet

sorry that was like SUPER long. i felt like i had to set the scene first but you don’t have to make it super long if you don’t wanna! thanks a bunch!

RUMOR HAS IT - ALBERT MORIARTY X READER

Warnings : lots of internalized misogyny and envy from women, period-typical classism, blackmail, this is not proofread, reader uses she/her pronouns!

Genre : angst (to mild fluff)

Word count : 4.1K words (ouch)

Additional notes : Thank you so much for requesting! After I had a quick look at my masterlist, I realized that I never wrote for Albert, so I went with him. He’s also the one who’s the most in the public eye, given how he was born into nobility and has a well-known job. However, I hate to say this, but this request also goes against my rules and guidelines for requesting🫣 To work on such a heavily detailed piece, I need to write a minimum of 4K words for it to be cohesive, which is the typical length of a ficlet, whereas a regular oneshot would have significantly less details and require a maximum of 1K to 2K words. I have stopped taking requests for ficlets for a year now, seeing as writing them takes up so much time, and I end up totally drained for days afterwards🫠 So please be sure to check my rules for requesting, linked in my pinned post! 🥰 However, the idea was absolutely wonderful, and you’ve been quite sweet about it, so I would’ve felt horrible saying no to that. Anyways, I hope this ends up being to your liking, and I hope you enjoy reading it!💗💗

Requests : Are open! Check the rules over here.

Want to support me financially? Here’s my CashApp!

Masterlist

Being courted by Albert James Moriarty meant that she’d had firsthand experience in seeing the disparity between the English social classes. A wealthy, charming nobleman like him had—for some reason or the other that she couldn’t quite recall—taken an interest in her some year ago, despite her being born to a factory worker and a seamstress.

It had surprised her when he’d first flirtatiously complimented her for her beauty while they’d both been helping out at an orphanage during their spare time, effortless charm flowing through his every word and motion. The man was every bit as magnetic as it was whispered among the public, particularly the women of them. Though she’d had her reservations, she wasn’t immune to the sweetness in his words and how affable he was. What she expected to have become friendship soon bloomed into something more, her unease melting with every kind gesture, every wonderful outing, and every kiss upon her palm every time they parted.

The ‘Ton seemingly shared her surprise at the development, seeing as they soon became a household name for gossip. Horror and disdain always followed the discovery of the fact that they were openly together, with none holding back the sentiments of disgust.

“Her?! But she’s so terribly plane, and awfully poor! She can’t possibly be right for him when she’s a commoner with filthy blood!” She couldn’t count on her hands just how many times she’d heard the angry whispers—whether by the customers at the bakery where she worked, out about in the marketplace when noblewomen haughtily passed by, or by passersby near the mansion gates whenever she stepped out of the carriage Albert had her brought in.

Though the words left a sting that wouldn’t quite go away no matter how hard she clenched her fists and dug her nails into her palms, she always tried her best to brush them off. After all, what did it matter if the masses thought her unworthy, when Albert himself looked at her like she cradled his whole world in her palms? Why should she care, when his hand always sought hers and his thumb carressed her knuckles whenever they went on a walk together?

It made no difference if the word spread around that she was leeching off him for money, because she knew her pride and dignity would never allow that to actually happen. She always asked him to keep his lavish gifts to a minimum, and as adoring as Albert was, he’d never go against her wishes. Word has spread that she was only using him to pull herself out from the shroud of the working class and into the dazzling nobility, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth, given how repulsed she’d been by the false glamour and shine that seemed to settle down on the rich whenever they attended the balls held at the Moriarty household, causing her to politely request from her lover that she be excused from them after a few appearances at his side as he’d wished.

Ever the understanding companion, not once did he express disgruntlement, accepting the fact that she simply did not feel comfortable enough to mingle in such places—and she was unlikely to ever know it, but perhaps that was part of what Albert liked so much about her; she shared his exact feelings towards the accursed nobility that he’d been equally fortunate and unlucky to have been born into.

Through all the terrible name-calling and rumors that flew around her, she absolutely refused to let Albert in on them. Sure, he had his connections and could’ve easily found out under normal conditions, but the nobles seemed to be extra careful to not let him know. Not a single word was spoken when he was in the vicinity—a wise decision from them, really, because she was more than well aware of Albert’s capabilities; she knew he could have them fall into ruination should he hear a malicious word about his beloved. That deadly glint to his emerald eyes that she sometimes saw when he was displeased with a nobleman who’d swindled another client wasn’t an empty threat.

More importantly, she simply didn’t want him to worry. If she told Albert of the rumors circulating, his primary concern (before disposing of the perpetrators) would be her well-being. He would fret over her, and would almost smother her with his well-intentioned concerns. If he had it his way, he probably wouldn’t even leave her side at all, something that wouldn’t do given his high standing in society. No; it was best to stay quiet and shrug the vile words off.

And shrug them off she did on a particularly pleasant Sunday morning after she’d attended mass at her local church. The collective hushed voices and cruel glares were nothing unfamiliar, but she hadn’t wanted to dwell on them, seeing as she was going out with Albert right afterwards. He’d asked her out for lunch at a fancy restaurant, something that was both overwhelming and yet thrilling. She always enjoyed trying out new cuisine with him, even if the setting was a little daunting at first; she wasn’t about to spoil her fun with the man she loved with thoughts of how out of place she might’ve felt.

His brilliant smile as he held her gloved hands in his sent her heart fluttering in her ribcage. “You’re looking extra happy tonight,” she pointed out, though she had no room to say it when she herself was grinning from ear to ear.

“Well, I happen to always be happy when I’m with you.” His reply was smoother than she’d expected, and she felt herself flushing. Albert’s expression remained open and earnest, and she wondered how easy it was for him to charm her socks off. It didn’t take long for her to go down that line of thinking, because he soon stunned her as his hand momentarily left hers to pull out a small velvet box from his tailcoat.

“Albert…” she breathed out, heart thumping wildly in her chest. She watched as he slowly opened it to reveal a breathtaking ring, with a clean-cut dazzling diamond in the center, surrounded by smaller pieces that formed the shape of a delicate flower.

“I would’ve probably bought something bigger if I was left to my own devices, but Louis had to physically restrain me and remind me that you would probably hate that,” he laughed out, the tender look in his green eyes hypnotizing, “But I suppose it doesn’t matter as long as you like it. What matters is whether or not you’d be willing to be my wife.” Albert reached out once again to squeeze her fingers affectionately, lifting them to leave a soft kiss against her glove and immediately warming the spot. “Will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

Swallowing thickly, she could feel her stomach flip with a mix of anxiety and pure elation. She briefly thought of all the nasty words she’d heard just by being his lover, and though she knew that things would get infinitely worse now that they were officially on the road to marriage, she squashed those thoughts. It wouldn’t do to hesitate; not when she loved him so incredibly much. It was her choice to grasp her happiness by the hands, and she could only imagine it with him.

And so she hurriedly nodded. “Of course. Oh, Albert!” she cooed, adoration washing all over her, as she squeezed his hand back, the most stunning smile on her face matching his.

***

Only a fool would’ve thought that becoming Albert’s fiancée would make things quiet down, and a fool she was not. However, she certainly hadn’t foreseen the fact that they’d only grow crueler and more condescending as soon as he’d introduced her to high class society as the future Mrs. Moriarty. How foolish of her, to not realize that they’d only grow more bitter and hateful the more her beloved solidified their relationship and showed that they weren’t to part.

She could’ve sworn that now whenever she locks up the bakery after a rainy day, some women wait until she turns around to order their carriages to leave at that exact moment, the wheels splashing the ends of her skirts with murky water. Sneers were always directed in her direction, and she’d been called a “filthy mutt” more times than she could count. The ladies, in their pristine clothes and flawless makeup, made it their job to remind her of how utterly inferior she was to them, and how undeserving she was of Albert’s affections.

One particularly sour-looking woman went out of her way to visit her daily at the bakery. She was the wife of a huge upstanding figure in society; a merchant who’d had close business relations with Albert in the past, and had supposedly remained a steadfast ally and partner to him. Since the girl wasn’t the owner, she could do nothing to deter the noblewoman from coming, seeing as she wouldn’t want to risk the business.

“You’re nothing but a gold-digging hound, pawing after its master before it sinks its teeth into him,” she’d hissed at her, roughly a month after their engagement, “I know what you lot are like, lecherous women with no honor and all the greed there is in the world.”

“My lady, I would rather not mix business with personal affairs,” she’d gritted her teeth as she said, “Your change.” And as she’d handed the woman back her coins, the furious lady had already taken off her gloves, long nails deliberately scratching her palms enough to draw blood, before haughtily turning her back on her.

Her malicious visitor at work had then persisted, injecting venomous words into her every single morning, her glare hard and loathing—until one day, she walked in with an oddly smug look on her face.

“Shall I get you your regular, my lady?” she sighed, preparing to turn around and take out her pain au chocolat, but the woman waved her off, that strange expression not wavering.

“No, there won’t be any need for that anymore. I won’t have to ward you off, because you won’t be seeing Albert again.”

A confused look came on her face. “Excuse me? You’re very mistaken if you think—“

“No, my dear girl,” she interrupted, her sickly sweet voice alerting her brain, “You’re the one who’s mistaken. You will end your engagement with him, tonight.” She had a steely glint in her eyes, her grin merciless. “Or else my husband will have a lot to say to the public, regarding the deals with firearms that haven’t been released to them.”

“My Albert would never do anything that conflicts with England’s interests,” she firmly said, all civility left behind the moment the noblewoman decided to bring her lover’s honesty into question.

“You poor thing,” she leered at her, a victorious smile on her face as she knew that she had her backed into a corner. “You seem to think that anyone cares to verify the statements. With a news story regarding his unscrupulous visits to your home at night, his honor will be in question the entire time. A false accusation after that will be more than enough to shatter his public image permanently.”

A sour taste fills her mouth as she paled. She knew that if anything were to be said against Albert, no matter how hard he’d try to negate it, there was little he could do when the entirety of the upper class turned on him. His power lied within his social standing, a good portion of which he had labored endlessly to maintain, and she would feel sickening guilt for the rest of her life if she ended up wrecking that for him.

“You’re a smart girl, and you know what to do.” The woman leaned back as she smirked. “End things with Albert tonight, and he shall not be harmed. That is my vow. Stick to your end, and we shall have no problems.” And so, parasol in hand, she clicked her heels away as she exited, leaving the girl to slump against the countertop, her heart beating wildly in her ears and fear turning her legs numb.

***

“Darling, where’ve you been? I sent a carriage for you hours ago. Were you not home?” Albert’s worried face was the first thing that greeted her at the doorstep, dresses in only a shirt and pants and his houserobe over it, before he took in the blank look on her face and frowned deeply. “Has something happened? Come in, love, it’s warmer inside.”

“No, it’s… fine,” she almost choked on her words, before she cleared her throat. “I’ve only got something to say.” Before he could look at her with his kind eyes and render her weak, she had to get done with this. Avoiding his confused stare, she twisted the ring off her finger and took his hand in hers, saying, “We’ve got to part ways, Albert.”

“Pardon?” he laughed as she opened his palm, but it sounded weak and a little hurt, “I’m not sure—“

She steeled her resolve and met his eyes, willing herself to keep any tears at bay and not allow herself a moment of weakness. “It’s been going on for far too long. All I’d ever wanted was a taste of what being rich felt like, of how the upper class was. The money was far more interesting than you’ve ever been.”

Albert recoiled a little at the words, and she was sure now that she hadn’t imagined the wounded look that flashed in his eyes. “Darling! You can’t mean that, you’ve never even touched my money, you can’t—“

“Can’t you see, Albert?” she snapped at him, frustrated at how it was dragging out. She wanted to get it over with; to bury the hurt before it could resurface. “I’ve used you as a stepping stone. I’ve never once loved, and yet here you are still deluding yourself that I still want you.” With a shake of her head, she dropped the ring into his outstretched hand, before stepping back fast as her knees began to shake and her chest began to ache. “Goodbye, Albert. May we never meet again.”

The sight of his stunned and heartbroken expression would be one that she’d never forget. It had been burned into her memory, to remind her of what she’d lost. Still, she couldn’t give up now. She had to leave. And so, with her fist clenched around the cheapest steamship’s ticket to New York, she turned on her heel and disappeared into the chill outside.

***

New York was just over two centuries old, but it still held the novelty of a brand new city. For some odd reason, everything about it tempted her and spoke to her of new dreams and a different life. And perhaps, had she not been nursing a broken heart and struggling to make ends meet, she would’ve come to love it. But for now, she loathed it and everything it meant for her.

It was nothing but a mere substitute; a place she’d fled to with nothing more than a tattered trunk that held what little she owned, and enough tears to fill the Atlantic twice over. If it could keep Albert and his reputation safe, however, she’d do it all over again without a single beat of hesitation.

Working at a bakery was a little bit better paying than it was in Durham, seeing as the general American public was better off with its economic boom than England’s limited upper class. The rent, however, took up a great portion of her pay, seeing as she was a single tenant that wasn’t splitting with anyone else.

What she most found befuddling was the cultural shock. Everyone was a lot more lax about the rules of propriety and etiquette, they spoke without inhibition with their peculiar accents, and the country advertised freedom above all else. What that freedom actually entailed, she wasn’t sure she wanted to find out.

Still, it was at least a place where she could pretend that life was alright without her fiancé—or rather, ex-fiancé—holding her in his arms. She could never atone for her doing him wrong, or for lying to his face that way. Many a time she’d entertained the idea of running back home and confessing the truth, but then she remembered that sinister noblewoman’s face and shivered.

Before she knew it, she had spent three months in solitude in her small New York apartment. Her nights after closing shop was spent by the fireplace, knitting a scarf in an emerald color that was the same shade as a certain someone’s eyes.

Damn it all, for leaving her still so hung up on the man she’d never once stopped loving. She dropped her needles to her lap, hunching over as she squeezed her eyes shut. With so much she wished she’d never had to say, she wanted to cry her eyes out in despair, but knew that no one would hear her call for help but herself and these four walls.

A banging on her door caused her to jump in her seat, knocking the ball of yarn at her feet. She frowned. Her rent wasn’t due for another two weeks, and she hadn’t asked for the evening paper to be delivered to her doorstep. There wasn’t anyone coming to mind that could want anything from her at this hour.

As the rapping against her door grew more insistent, she grabbed her shawl from the couch and wrapped it around her shoulders.

“Coming, coming, Jesus,” she mumbled under her breath, before finally swinging the door open.

And there stood none other than Albert, his tie crooked, hear terribly disheveled and much longer than she recalled it being, and face looking clearly haggard and unshaven. He looked dazed, eyes dull but wide as he stared at her as though she were a mirage. Disbelieving that he stood right there in front of her, she couldn’t help but gape at him for almost two minutes, before he visibly shivered, and she remembered that he was standing in the middle of the cold.

“Come in,” she cleared her throat, gesturing for him to enter, something he seemed more than happy to obey.

As he sat down on the couch and she sat back in her chair, he kept his eyes trained on her, unmoving. While pretending to busy herself with tossing another log in the fireplace, she couldn’t help but think of just how much weight he seemed to have lost. He looked far worse for wear than she’d dreamed he’d be.

“Please look at me,” he softly said, and it seemed more like he was begging her. She stilled in place, slowly turning around to face him, and her breath hitched. Nothing in the world could get her to turn away when he looked at her so earnestly and with so much vulnerability in his eyes.

“Two weeks after you left, a woman, whom I recognized as being the wife of someone I’d had a good relationship with, came to talk to me.” His voice was low as he spoke, a little deeper and more tired than she remembered it being. His words, however, caused her stomach to sink as she imagined what could’ve happened.

“Oh?”

“She told me how happy she was that you were out of the picture. That now she had a better chance,” Albert smiled derisively, “It seemed she didn’t care that she was admitting to desiring infidelity.”

“I’m not quite sure what’s that got to do with me, my Lord.” Trying to sound as distant as she could, she prayed she wouldn’t go weak in the knees. The last thing she wanted was to get him into any further trouble by being entangled with her.

Hurt flashed behind his eyes. “I’m not your lord, and I never have been anything other than your Albert. And you, my beloved fiancée.” He leaned in his seat, the firelight reflected in his eyes. “She must’ve threatened you, hadn’t she?”

She sighed, “No, Albert, she hadn’t.” Not her, at the very least. “I wouldn’t cower when I am threatened because I don’t particularly care what happens to me.”

“And that’s why our dear friend Sherlock argued that she most likely threatened to harm me instead. Am I correct in believing his theory right?” Her tongue was heavy in her mouth as he eyed her carefully, a calculating look on his face. “Your response was a confirmation. You said you don’t care what happens to you, which means that the threats were never directed towards you.”

Remaining quiet and biting back her tongue was the only way she could prevent herself from admitting to the truth. His expression turned desperate as he stood up to walk over to her.

“Did you think I’d fear anyone? I’ve never been at any danger. Why did you not come to me with what she’d told you? We would’ve disposed of her immediately.”

She turned her face to the side. “If you had no fear, then I had enough for the both of us.” Taking in a rattling breath, she could hold back no more. “The truth wouldn’t have mattered, but the people’s trust in you should never waver. She wanted to put that to the test in the cruelest way possible.”

Fingers found her chin, tilting her head towards him. Emerald eyes bore into hers as he firmly said, “Even if she’d carried that out, I would’ve dispelled any rumors with little effort.” Albert then smiled sadly, “But then again, ignoring things was how you’d always dealt with rumors, wasn’t it?” It felt like she couldn’t breathe as he spoke, bringing to light everything she’d hoped she could bury in the past. “Fred had found that out over a year ago, but he’d been withholding the information, as he was under the impression that you had already told me.”

“Don’t berate me, Albert,” her bottom lip wobbled as she said it, and she mustered all the strength she had to keep as straight a face as she could. “If I had told you, you would’ve worried incessantly.”

“And that’s my job,” he softly said, going down on his knees to sit on the carpet beside her, his calloused hands gently cradling her face, “I’m not berating you, love. I’m only saddened by the fact that you didn’t think you could communicate these things with me. I would’ve never done or said anything that you didn’t wish to see or hear.”

When he held her face like this with that kindness in his eyes she’d missed having directed at her, a small part of her cracked. Wondering why she ever thought it a smart idea to hide things from him and lie to him, her shoulders slumped in defeat. His fingers began to caress her warm skin, and she began blinking back tears at the affection that swelled within her that moment.

“How did you find me?” she managed to croak out.

Albert shrugged, “I had a couple of connections in this city. One of them seemed to know about our relationship from a few noble English acquaintances. I’d once done him a favor, so he promised to pay me back by finding your whereabouts. After all, you were registered to have arrived at the port of New York.” He sighed heavily as he leaned in, his expression growing more solemn. “I’m sorry it took me so long to find you. It hadn’t crossed my mind at the start that you’d have left the country. Only when I had enough courage to entertain the idea that you’d left everything behind did I think of America.”

She couldn’t help herself. Perhaps it was his gentle voice, or perhaps that she’d missed his handsome face too much, or perhaps because she’d been secretly wishing all this time that he’d come find her, but for whatever reason, she found herself choking on a sob, flinging her arms around his neck and falling forward.

With an “oof!”, they both fell back onto the carpet, though neither of them cared, as they got entangled in each other’s limbs. Tucking her head in his neck, she cried to her heart’s content, wringing out all the sorrow and loneliness she’d had to shoulder on her own in an unfamiliar place that could never be her home. Albert’s grip on her was firm but loving, and the sound of him slowly inhaling her in as his hand rubbed her back was the most soothing thing she’d never even known she’d missed.

“Wherever you want to go from here on out,” he murmured in her ear, “You have all my love and support, if you’ll take me back.”

“You silly man, of course I will,” a watery laugh escaped her, sniffling as she only held onto him tighter, “Please take me back with you. Home is wherever you are, anyways.”

Taglist: @sherlockscumslut @lilias-highlights @whitecelluyu @wifeofkyojuro

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twosides--samecoin · 1 year

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15 Questions for 15 Mutuals

as tagged by @vault-heck <3 thank you friend, I hope you're doing well these days! tagging @edaworks and @perfectlypreservedpie @persephotea @truebluemeandyou @bokatan @aviatorfics @wolfbirbisme @khazrablood @kremvhstooth

1. Are you named after anyone?

My name is a bit of an "oof". In a sentence my mom was raised by Very Strict Irish Parents and she had me at 18. They disowned us after I was born; my name is her mom's middle name and my middle is the fem version of her dad's name. I have mulled over changing it because we don't have a relationship with them - it's fairly unique being an Irish name and I find myself resigned to it. TMI moving on lmao

2. When was the last time you cried?

I cry every time my girlfriend goes home :'D

3. Do you have kids?

I have PCOS and will hit 30 next year - I likely will never have my own but I am open to adopting :) I really love kids.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I invented sarcasm

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

Judo

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people?

I notice.. a lot - I am... observant about people, to use a word. Whether you feel awkward or standoffish or open or not. I don't know how to describe it. Perhaps it is a body language thing.

7. Eye color?

Bright blue - kind of like the lighter part of a blue portal from, well Portal

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Why not both? :D

9. Any special talents?

One thing my girlfriend mentioned is I can pick people apart like a lawyer can. I can figure out fairly quickly what someone's damage is and put someone in their place. This sounds like an evil skill, but the best way of putting it is I am not going to be dishonest if you act holier than thou or if you think you're special and better than others, and you need to be told to sit down. An example of doing this for good is standing up for people, especially if someone is being punched down upon. If you enjoy being a bully to others in fandom spaces because you feel most comfortable when you're an expert and can control the conversation, and that self perception being questioned is such a problem you think you're being attacked (yet do nothing when a less popular account than yours gets a ton of hate for days while you get headpats from your minions), I'm gonna send an anon about it. Bullies tend to be insecure nerds and I will do my best to call them out behind the scenes.

10. Where were you born?

Atlantic Canada

11. What are your hobbies?

I write Long Time Running on AO3. I am a really big music fan and am a bit of a historian for punk music. I really love my plants - I collect primarily aroid species such as philodendron and monstera but I also really miss traditional gardening. The goal is to get a fraction of a piece of land sometime in the next few years so I can have a proper garden space again. Woooo compost :)

12. Do you have any pets?

I do not and I wish to! I can claim my partner's cockatiel, Darwin. We video chat and it's funny - he and I have intense whistling conversations and he understands I exist but he doesn't conceptualize that me existing through the phone doesn't = me being in the same room. So he tries looking around the phone to see if I am there. Poor baby

13. How tall are you?

5"2. Tiny terror

14. Fave subject in school?

I felt most seen by Language Arts/English. My fourth grade teacher let me read the Lord of the Rings trilogy for a book report instead of telling me I had to choose just one for a book report. I am hopeless if I am not writing

15. Dream job?

Everyone asks me what I wanna be when I grow up, everyone asks me what I wanna do for a job. Nobody asks me if I want to work or not. I don't. I want to be a househusband for my girlfriend and I want to make her lunch and keep her house clean. This said, I am in school to be a paralegal because working and getting an income is important I guess. True Marxist Accelerationism is accepting: money isn't real, be a wifeguy instead ;)

#thank you for the tag #sorry for the ramble #and the TMI #I do that

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attackedastoria · 1 year

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I have too many feelings

So like, it's bad enough that I'm completely fucking traumatized from my mother having a psychotic break and physically assaulting me multiple times. I spent an entire week monitoring her with barely sleeping because I was honestly terrified of her. And guess what!! I was right to be, because I found MULTIPLE KNIVES hidden in her room she was probably planning to use because I wouldn't let her leave the house! So yes, I am STILL fucking traumatized by that, and no amount of "Oh its just the disease it wasn't really her" IS NOT GOING TO FIX THAT. christ, I still wake up in a cold sweat panicking because I hear a noise that sounds like floorboards creaking, thinking its her. So no, I'm not fucking over it, and no, I don't really wanna go see her in the fucking psychiatric hospital yet. I'm still coming to terms with the fact that my mother, my best friend, is essentially dead and some psychotic stranger is wearing her skin. Forgive me if I'm a little fucking fucked up about it.

Oh, but that's not all! Two days after mom is taken away, I get to be informed that my family is selling the house asap, because of course, they failed to get her proper insurance coverage despite assuring me it was all handled. So now they're freaking out about the cost, and they want me out ASAP. Because I have soooo much money to make that happen in the middle of January. Its not like I haven't been able to work properly for 2 years due to taking care of my stepfather, and then my mother. Apparently I'm supposed to just pull housing and money out of my asshole for that! And it's all my fault for not planning properly, you know, when I was under the impression her disease was still being managed well and she had another few years before any worse progression. I should have somehow gotten a job while also looking after her 24/7. Yup.

Also, fuck whatever is going on with my mental health that makes me struggle the entire past year, I'm totally not suffering caretaker burnout, yelling at me is definitely the best motivating course of action.

Luckily, I have a Saint for a best friend willing to give me shelter, but its across the country, so it's going to take some time to plan the move and you know, find a fucking place to live. But oh no, that's not acceptable! You need to be gone ASAP! Also, while you're struggling with your personal housing and mental crisis, please work 12hrs a day packing and cleaning the house so we can put it on the market asap! WORK FASTER YOU LAZY CUNT YOURE NOT WORKING FAST ENOUGH, ITS NOT LIKE YOU HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO!! God. I've been tempted to really fuck them over by claiming tenants rights so I have longer to prepare, but I know they'd just completely shut me off from moms money which I need right now.

I know they can't wait to get rid of me and never see me again(and honestly, same at this point), but I just... I'm so fucking exhausted. Mental, emotionally, physically. I've had zero time or room to grieve. My entire life is being uprooted with zero preparation or warning. I have to rehome our dog because no one in the family can take him. I'm also sick now with some kind of hell cold. I just... I've contemplated killing myself so many times the past few weeks, because what's the point? I'm tired of being in constant despair. I'm tired of being angry. I'm just fucking TIRED.

Fuck. I just needed to get some stuff off my chest.

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whileyoureinschoolidothisallday · 2 years

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IRL family drama

so how about a little family soap opera tonight huh it’s been awhile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so.

my parents convinced my youngest brother to buy a house after his lease was up.

It was a piece of shit and he should but my mother had a “vision”. Remember this, cause it’s important later.

So because she had this “vision” my 20 year old brother with a minimum wage job bought and signed a mortgage in our small literal village hometown, without talking to me or the other A sibling first much to the horror of us both later, with my parents promising they would help him fix it. Our dad is a contractor after all.

But he has to pay him.

A few months pass, and my parents are hounding him to start the renovations. He tells them he doesn’t have the money. Because he doesn’t. They show up one day and just start anyway, and tell him he has to stay at their house for 6 weeks until it’s finished. He tells them, again, he doesn’t have the money, and they just say it’s fine it’s fine.

So he moves back into the hell house and literally the entire time they’re working on his, they’re pestering him about payment

They want him to take out another loan, on top of the mortgage, and his car, to pay them.

I am thankfully involved this time and tell him under no fuckin circumstances does he take out any loans.

He doesn’t, and while all this work is being done my mom is gushing about how beautiful the house is gonna be when it’s done, and all the stuff SHE wants to do with it. Nothing about my brother. He asks her about it and she says ‘Oh, well our plan was that once you were done with it you’d give it to us and we’d rent it out or use it as a retirement home’.

Now.

I am not going to waste time claiming to know what’s going through my parents heads. I would really like to believe they aren’t cartoon villains. But there are some things that I know for a fact.

1. My parents can’t get approved for any more loans.

2. My brother is far too depressed and broken willed to stand up for himself compared to the rest of us

3. My parents really wanna retire and their buddies keep talking about real estate

4. They believe it’s my youngest brother’s job to take care of them.

5. None of their other children have all three factors of living close, having the credit, or being single without children

From where I--and a few other people--are standing, it looks like they manipulated my brother into getting them a house they could capitalize on because they couldn’t score it themselves. But what do I know.

Anyway, it gets worse, and we’re getting to the point of this tea time!!!!!!!!

The finish line keeps getting pushed up. First it’s 6 weeks, then it’s 12, then it’s 6months.

Now it’s indefinitely.

He’s staying at their house indefinitely because it’s the summer and my dad’s busy season so he doesn’t have the time.

(Please remember that this was their idea and my brother said repeatedly that he didn’t want to start this yet).

They refuse to accept rent from him because “you’re our son❤️” but the whole time they’re basically using him for free labor while he’s there, making him watch our other brothers’ kids because my mom acts like a daycare center for the favored kids (: (but let me not get into that too) and then can’t keep up with the responsibility because she also works a ton, they are constantly refusing to respect him sleeping despite knowing he just got done working a night shift taking care of ME, so they don’t fucking have to like they constantly complained about, and if he acts upset about it he’s ‘ungrateful’. They are also, of course, disrespectful and emotionally abusive to him, per the parental brand. But, according to them, they’re not trying to be the bad guys here and don’t want him to feel trapped, so they agree to take over the mortgage and help him get out on his own once he finds a place.

So earlier this month he texts me asking for help, he’s at his limit, and if I would help him look for apartments. Closer to me so he can save gas. But no matter what he needs to be out by two months.

I get to work asking around and using every resource that I have, and this week a place opened up literally six blocks from my house and it’s absolutely perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!! Since he could walk to my house and cut out gas, it’s incredibly affordable too!!!!!

But he needs to come up with first months rent + the deposit, which is almost like $1000.

And guess who, after having him pay this mortgage for months, pay for the gas to drive an hour back and forth to take care of me, almost force him to take on a GIANT construction loan, all on the measly paychecks he gets from being my cna, suddenly is refusing to help him at all? =)

“He’s an adult now and they’re not his guardians❤️”

Again, my parents bend over backwards for their favorites, no matter if they steal, lie, or waste money on drugs and crypto scams. But legitimate requests they just don’t wanna do? You’re an adult ❤️

Anyway. Mark my words, he’s getting that apartment and getting out of there. I’m just so incredibly done with our fucking parents and I can’t imagine how abandoned this kid feels when they do this all the time.

#Real Life with Risa #that sounds like a personal problem #fuck parents all my homies hate parents

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cultleads · 2 years

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casually monologuing my experience as a LGBT / mixed race person growing up in a heavily religious household as a child, sticking it under a cut & tagging cause y’know justin case, perfectly understandable trigger in all honesty. I guess I just wanna know if there’s people out there who relate, or maybe I can make somebody with similar experiences feel not - so -alone

It’s really such a bizarre thing when I think about it. Replying to mine & my fiancé's rp thread just now it got me thinking about my own experiences. Like most Amuricans I was raised in a Christian household so like... full church experience, endless nonsense shoved down my throat from the moment I was born. It was always wild to me how church (and as I entered my teens, youth groups and church camps etc) were the places I met some of the most vicious, judgemental, awful people I’ve ever known. I was told some pretty awful shit as a child and it’s a place where I experienced a lot of rejection & exclusion.

I had the standard queer kid upbringing where I knew my parents knew I was different, but they didn’t know in which ways, so instead I was constantly silenced, “corrected”, and told to be and do this n that. You know... YOU CAN’T DO X CAUSE YOU’RE X, YOU SHOULDN’T BE LIKE X BECAUSE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE X, YOU CAN’T BEHAVE THAT WAY AROUND X GENDER BECAUSE YOU SHOULD SHOW INTEREST IN X GENDER (even as children so like...funny how they accuse Lefties of being gr**mers when they literally say that shit and encourage heterosexual interactions between kids because believe me THAT DID GO ON), blahblahblah.

It was absolutely WILD to me that later in life, I found out the church allowed in a previously convicted p*doph*le and let him teach the SUNDAY SCHOOL WHICH I WAS IN, and he was forgiven because he “found god”, yet my brother and I were treated like crap because we are (mostly) latinos and were the only people in the church who weren’t 100% white and we were both born with last names that align with our Mexican-Navajo heritage. Like...we were kids, dude??

Also absolutely wild to me that my mother’s best friend in America (my mother is Scandi-British) could forgive her husband who served 25 years for murdering a 16 year old (the perp was an adult btw!) but absolutely could not look me in the eye, ‘forgive’ me, or accept me any longer after my mom told her I am LGBT.

I don’t get all these people who told me and millions of others like me that we were wrong somehow, for wanting to be our authentic selves and live in peace. For just being who we are, loving who we love... And punishing us for it. Because even as a child, none of that felt wrong to me. What felt wrong was the hypocrisy and the madness I could see in the church even from a young age. They could forgive the p*doph*le and the murderer but they hated me & everyone like me for being LGBT, and then later belonging to a single mother who had no money and they let us be homeless.

Thankfully after moving to the UK to get help from my British grandmother (and flee my ‘father’) when I was 11 my mom’s religious discipline started to go down the drain especially after she was treated with disdain for divorcing my “father” who is...downright evil. I’ll leave it at that lmfao! I think when her “friends” abandoned her over it, scolding her for “going against god” rather than putting up with his evil for any longer, she started to see religious cultism for what it is. Not to mention that my bio “father” after committing a HUGE crime (I can’t say what it is, sry for no deets) apologized TO A REVEREND ABOUT IT, not to my mom, the reverend said “you’re forgiven, your only crime is marrying a woman who left you for your sins” LMAOOO There’s so much nuance and torment growing up in a heavily chri*sti*n household. Especially if you are / later realize you belong to a marginalized group they don’t like. Like I haven’t even touched the tip of the iceberg with any of this, but y’all get it. There’s a reason both my brothers and myself grew up to be heavily, heavily resentful of Chr*sti*nity. But truthfully? Peoples’ faith is not my business. As long as people aren’t using it for oppression or bigotry, I truly do not care or hold against them what they believe. I just have A LOT of trauma and fear surrounding it and I feel myself become ferally aggressive when nearing a church. But the most insane part of it all is that to this day, when backed into a corner and when in a dire situation or one of desperation, I still find myself praying for help & mercy. THAT is how ingrained this shit goes lol.

I will forever lack understanding as to why something so vague and non-scientific can rule the lives of so many, and why it’s used as such a driving force for evil. Religion is inherently not good. It is separate from faith, that I do believe. Quite literally it is cultism and that’s it. I think my stance & views born from my experiences are easily summed up by this lyric (sorry to quote this guy but it’s an accurate line) : I never really hated the one true God but the God of the people I hated

#✧ ⭒　𝚒𝚛𝚕　𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚝　𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛　╱　ooc #religion cw #I just thought it was relevant to current events #and y'know it's the inspiration behind this character too #but I wanted to remind people of similar upbringings that there's so many of us out here

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killerklownroleplay · 5 months

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Himiko Toga

(Strip-Club): Himiko Toga. The blonde villainess that used to terrorize the masses along side the Leage of Villains. Well, the League of Villains had been disbanded for quite some time, the villains she once called friends having all scattered to avoid capture, though most ended up locked away. She was one of the lucky ones who escaped. She'd kept out of trouble since then, doing her best to get a job and even get an apartment. Thankfully... her employer, the owner of the lesbian strip club, didn't care much about the pasts of her employees and let Toga have the job. She lived in a shoddy apartment, the landlord never being around even to fix things, she hardly had warm water, but, it was better than her landlord finding out she was an ex villain and getting her locked away.

Tonight, Toga was at work, dressed only in black short shorts and a black top bringing drinks around to the patrons as other girls put on a show up on the stage. Toga had some money tucked into her shorts and a tray of drinks in one hand as she bumped into (your character). She said a small apology and turned towards them with a smile. "Hey, my bad, can I get you anything?" She asked. It was obvious who she was, her voice, her eye, the scars, everything. Though most people who went in and out of here didn't care much, especially since she didn't seem to be hurting anyone and she was pretty hot. It was dark and the music was fairly loud, so the blonde had stepped a bit closer so she could hear the other if they had any requests, her yellow eye slightly narrowed at them like a cats.

(Coworker): It had been a few years since Toga turned herself in... She helped with the downfall of the league and gave up the hideouts location in return for mental help and no prison time despite her own heinous crimes... She was let off with only a year in jail and still often had therapy appointments, on top of that, she now worked at a hero agency. Not as a hero of course, instead, she helped target where crime rings might be and gave her... unique.. insight as an ex villain.

Of course, she still had trouble socializing with people, especially when everyone knew her name and face. There were actually times when people on the streets had attacked her... mostly the family of past victims. As for her own parents... she had no clue where they were... the only she knew was that they'd changed their names and moved... which was definitely a sore spot for her. Despite everything though, she had made some real progress, and had been friendly enough with her colleagues that she'd been invited out for drinks after work. She was hesitant at first, but had eventually been coaxed into coming along.

One thing led to another, and after a few hours of drinking and chatting... she was ready to go home. She'd stood up, excusing herself from the table, and stumbled a bit just trying to step away from the table... she was a lightweight it seemed. Instead of letting her continue home like this, (Your Character) got up and offered to walk her home. She was quick to accept the help, and leaned on (YC) quite a bit as they took her home. When they got to her apartment, she paused, turning to face (YC). She threw her arms around them in a hug, the still tipsy blonde seeming a lot more affectionate in this state. "Thank you.. I wouldn't have been able to get home... do you.." She hesitated slightly, taking a step back. "Do you wanna come inside..?" She asked, her face a bit flushed from the alcohol.

(Late Night Surprise): It had been a few years since the league of villains was disbanded, leaving Toga without a place to go. She’d wandered around, minimized her crime, and even had a job, but of course everyone eventually recognized her and she was always on the run. She had just been kicked out of her apartment that evening after she’d been recognized, having to flee with only the clothes she had on and a, rather small, pocket knife that she never really used. Even if she was armed, when she heard a police officer call into the pitch black alley she was in before turning away to say something into his walkie talkie, she panicked. She looked around before slipping into the first open window she found so she wasn’t out in the open, the girl landing on (Characters) bedroom floor with a loud thump and a little groan, the now black haired girl leaping to her feet to close the window, startling (Character) from their sleep.

(Pet.):

Himiko Toga. It had been a few years since she'd quit villainy, but she'd only gotten caught up in a certain predicament recently. After years of being on the down-low and avoiding being caught by heroes... (Your Character) recognized her in the streets. Not only that, she'd recognized them as well. She'd tried to run at first, but had ultimately been cornered... instead of turning her in (YC) made her a deal. If she went home with the other... she'd be taken care of and wouldn't be turned in... but she'd become (YC)'s pet. She was hesitant at first, and almost outright denied it... but she ultimately decided that it might be better than being locked away..

So, that's where she was now... kneeling inside (YC)'s home, her hands cuffed behind her back, a muzzle over her mouth to keep her from biting, and a red collar wrapped around her neck, with her "savior" of sorts holding onto her leash. She looked up at (YC), a small frown on her lips as she furrowed her eyebrows a bit. "So... what now..? You want me to bark for you or something? Or would you prefer meowing?" She was being a bit of a smart-ass, but mostly she was just trying to settle the nervous feeling inside of her.

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crazylil-lion · 1 year

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Honestly its hard to know what to do.

Everyone looks to me like the answer to their problem.

Mom doesn't work says shes trying but shes been saying that for a year. Grandpa is dying. Fast. My little brother still struggling a crazy amount.

Like truthful everything went downhill once I left.

Ik my siblings and my dad wants me to come back.

I think mom realized she can't ask me that. I think she feels absolutely fucking awful about everything about how she treated me and how much money she takes from dad.

I think after I moved away mom realized all the mistakes she made. I think she realized the hate I developed for her.

I can tell in her voice she wants my approval. She wants me to tell her I'm happy with how things are going there.

Idk. Its hard when moving away gave me a huge change of perspective.

To realize all the things I missed. All the abuse and neglect.

To realize how much they needed me.

You know I realized very young I was the one that had to hold the house together. I had to be the one to be emotional support. My dad still takes care of my siblings. He still constantly buys them things. Constantly stops over just to take them out to eat.

He tries his hardest to make them happy and support them however he can.

Truthful I struggle to know what to do.

I wanna make them happier but I don't wanna move back.

I wanna get things in place so I can be away.

Idk what to do because I feel like things are constantly on me. And I don't even wanna live as is.

I feel like happiness for me just won't happen. Like I'm the one that makes other people happy.

But I'm always disposable.

People only care about having their needs met. Rarely does anyone even ask about my needs.

I'm just suppose to be the rock that holds everything together.

The one that supports everyone while getting no support.

I'm just fucking alone tbh. Expected to be this inhuman thing that can handle it all.

Need to be emotionless. Need to workout and be strong to be loved lol.

People say oh no no no. You can have love and be accepted without being muscular but thats not exactly true.

See people talk about body positivity for bigger women. But very fucking rarely like almost never do you see any supportive male body positivity.

I know of 2 posts. Total that really talk about it.

And said people are all more masc presenting.

Irl. Good fucking luck. My point is unless I'm feminine enough to be seen as a "femboy" I'm not masc enough for someone to want me as a male. Reinforced constantly by people.

So yea. Starve. Go cold. Learn to push this need of intimacy so far down that the comfort of razors is enough.

These are the only things I can do to survive anymore. Its easy for people who have had love. Who had emotional support growing up to see themselves having it again.

I can't see that. When the only girls that hmu on any dating app or even here are only trying to sell me their onlyfans.

When I'm just insulted for not being masc enough. Or not looking good in feminine things because im too masc to look good in them. Lol. Just born wrong and too emotional.

Truthfully I'm at a crossroads.

1. Give up. Kill myself as planned in August.

2. Let the hate win. Grow super fucking toxic. Hate everyone stop going out. Stop doing things for fun like xbox and weed.

And instead invest all my time in work. Become rich, do stupid things until I die from them.

3. Continue on this fucked path of trying to get better and have connections with people to only get treated like shit and reminded constantly of how horrible society is. Go to a 2nd therapist and add to my list of medications until I'm so numb I'm not even fucking me anymore.

None of them seem good. And honestly I don't know that I want anything anymore.

The idea of love and intimacy is amazing. But i doubt I'll have it. No ones attracted to me lol. No one really even tries to talk to me. And idk that it would help anything.

Plus I let someone in they see my bpd and my issues poof they gone.

So is it even worth it. Is it worth trying to get to the only thing I've ever wanted when all it does is fucking hurt.

Idk anymore. But I have to fucking decide.

Maybe its time to do some stupid risky decisions and prey it gets me killed. Thatll make me feel alive for a bit right? Maybe it will calm the screaming inside me to play with death. Maybe I'll play too long and be embraced by it.

Oh, self destruction seems like the least painful path.

Seems like thats all I've ever had thats consistently in my life.

Thats pretty pathetic😂

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thecloversandtherosethorns · 2 years

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Silver's Letters

These are some of the last Letters Silver wrote to her father before she passed. They're taken from different times in her life and dont have any exact dates. But they are in order basicly. There might be more letters in between them too but this is what we have for now:>

Hello again dad. A bit of a long time since i've written to you. Everything around here has been crazy! I've finally moved together with Anthony! U know the one that I talked abt so much before?? We met again after highschool or maybe in it or something? He is doing so much better now!! It almost doesnt show at all that he's been sick. Maybe only his eyes can tell. They look a bit too knowledgeable for anyone's good. I feel like mine can look like that too sometimes. As if my resting face is just hella depressed, but im not!!! My face never rests for long!! U not being able to be beside me won’t stop me dad!! I'll live the best life ever and u'll be able to read it all if you want to<3 Me and Anthony found a place near St. Magdalena or something like that. Its a rather new city, with very good hospital peeps if u can pay for em. Not that we need that anymore since Anthony is okay now^^ Its pretty but, a bit noisy here. It'll probably calm whenever u become king. In the meantime we'll wear soundblockers;3 and be just fine^^

-Goodbye for now. Hope ur okay. Gotta go to Tony now

Dad!!! Dibdsksb oh The First!! I purposed!!! He said yes!!! Me and Anthony are getting MARRIEEEED oh my god!!!!! He was blushing and crying and i was blushing and crying and oh RCD!!! I really hope u can come! I'll send and invitation with the envelope!! But hey, if u cant then no one will hold it against you dad! Ur always with me! Even tho it only goes one wayX3 Mom never stopped stressing how much love you would give if you were here. Like, she literally still gives me the double amount of hug-time than other parents ever would. Just to give a hug from u to me as well. She's awsome. But damn. I think i'll give her an extra hug too. She was so happy for us!! But i could see an undertone of longing. Or remembering. But ye see ya! Gotta plan a wedding!!

-love, ur daughter, soon to be a wife!

DAD UR A GRANDFATHER NOW!!!!! me and Anthony's son Michael was born yesterday!! He has mom's eyes!!! And our freckles!!! He also has Anothony's spotted ears. We dont know abt his hair yet since he's such a tiny lil alien blob. But he's mine so he is beyond loved and accepted! I just hope I can be a good mother.. I really really hope i can. I bet i will!!! Especially with the help of mom!! And Anthony!! Awwwww he's a father now aaaa. U must feel old now grampsX3

-Love, ur daughter, busy being a mom!

Dad.. To be honest i feel off. I've been feeling off for months now. I think my balance ain't too great. In life i mean. Mom passed away too... I think she wrote to you. I dont wanna get this paper soaked. So back to my balance. We have a 3 year old in the house now. He is a true light! Shining and running around. His smile is absolutely adorable. I see so much of Anthony in the little boy. He says he sees alot of me in all his energy. But again. I think i've lost it a bit. Or i am still losing it? Idk. I think i am working too much. But we need income right? So i cant just not either. I need to feed my 2 little guys. Anthony is working too! He needs to set his feet up high after work tho. Nothing too bad he says. So i really dont think its that bad. I just hope it NEVER escalates or something . .

-Love, Silver

Hi dad. I- Anthony is sick. He cant go anywhere anymore. Sometimes he gets in his wheelchair and plays a bit with Michael, but mostly he's in bed. He is in pain. My love is in pain dad! And idk what to do! I am working my ass off! Trying to take care of Michael too! I am so tired dad. So so tired. I can't get the money Anthony needs. The work payment here is bad. I never realized, but the more dependant we got on our income it seemed to get more and more hopeless. We can't get enough to move either. No matter what we sell or gain. How did i end up here? A 6 year old child and a husband thats... Dying. H-how.. What am i suppost to do? I wish you were here dad! I wish that bitch would let you go!! I hope... You're okay.. Or better than this.. Or idk.. I just hope and pray that someday, me and you can take care of Anthony, take a walk to the playground with michael, and light candles at mom's gravestone.. Wouldn't that be nice dad?

-Love, ur daughter, Silver

. . Hi dad. This is the last letter i write. Not because i dont like writing them, but because, after this there will be nothing more for me to write. Anthony hasn't gotten any better. We still dont have the money to help him. I have no energy left. I can't even stop Mike from crying. He misses his dad. I am a ghost of myself dad. I dont have mom's guidance either. Dear RCD i miss her.. I've always been used to her being here, for me, with me. I can't get over it. I know its silly. As if i'm still just a child... I guess i still am.. Dad.. I am so sorry. I am so sorry i never get to meet you. To give you a pure and proper hug.. I think under the exterior you've made urself as the king, there is a man in great pain. The Borders of the ghost gang here. They're so violent.. I hope Anthony and Mike will be okay after this.. You'll take care of them if you see them right? Promise me. Just like i promised to never give up on ur kindness to mom. And even though i've doupted it after you became king, im still writing to u. So.. I never gave that up. Not even now, when i am giving your daughter up. Her lost life will give the rest of her family enough money. Anthony will be able to get a perminant surgery, and Mike and him will be able to get away from this dump! I will watch over them...

Dad. Just know that even tho u never got the chance to be there for me. You.. You were always here.. Truly. I've ventelated so much to you with these letters over the years. I think you know even more than mom ever did. Not just because she died but, yeah. Its not because of ur absence that you're losing me.. I've just lost the battle so many times. I can’t rise. Not like you and mom. I've never seen your strength in action, but mom said she never matched ur strength. and she was so strong.. I'm sorry you ended up with this child as cliche as it sounds. I am sorry... I will never know.. Dad.. I will never know how good your hugs are.. Or what you're favorite tea that Oscar makes actually smells like. Mom said she never got them right like Oscar did. I will never know how you've been.. How it was.. Living in that prison.. I will never know what your favorite TV show is today.. I will never see you in person. Mom said you had long fluffy hair.. Do you still have that? Heh. We share eyes too. I think they're both very tired. I just hope that u can stay alive for Mike or.. Something. Not do what i am doing.. Dad. I truly and utterly love you. From the bottom of my heart i do. I hope and pray that someone will show you that you deserve proper good love. I am sorry that person will never be me. Goodbye dad. I love you.

-Sincerely, your daughter, Silver Rosethorn Clover

#original character #sad boi hours #family tragedy #letters

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cloudbattrolls · 2 years

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Flawed Design

The three swarms stared down the monopoly board. As usual, Inshii held the most money and properties, and Gallen and Rhyssa had teamed up to try to break their sibling’s usual inevitable stranglehold on victory. It had only been seventy sweeps or so since they’d played; no reason to get rusty.

“I swear you cheat.” Accused Rhyssa, rolling the dice and moving her little imperial spaceship along a few spaces. “I dunno how, but I’d swear on a stack of clowns’ holy texts you do.”

Inshii rolled their eyes. “I’d love to know how to effectively cheat at monopoly so I could end the game sooner, eliminating your complaints entirely.”

The wasps settled around the board buzzed in annoyance as Rhyssa pouted and folded her arms.

“Why, Shii, I’d swear ya didn’t like playing with your sibs! How dare you.”

‘Very hurtful.’ Signed Gallen, with a smirk on his face.

“You know what was hurtful? Mother’s punishment after the second worm got away.” The butterfly said sharply, and the other two paused, the wasps going still.

They stood up, butterflies swirling around them as all their eyes, troll and insect, stared at Gallen and Rhyssa.

“She blamed me. She thought I helped them escape because I brought them hive to recover - as if staying down in that wretched place would have helped. As if her own treatment of them was doing any good. She nearly slipped one of her flukes after ripping me apart, and I had to beg her not to.” They said, tone deeply irritated.

The loose butterflies settled on their chair, but still flapped their wings, antennae twitching.

“The extra blood isn’t helping. She’s still losing her mind, can’t remember who I am half the time or why I’ve come. I think it’s time we accept the inevitable.”

Rhyssa gasped in shock, putting a hand to her mouth. Gallen frowned.

“How could you?” said Rhyssa, hurt. “It’s not her fault, she’s just old. What…what d’ya even mean, ‘accept the inevitable’?”

‘I think Inshii is recommending something more drastic.’ Gallen signed, expression displeased.

“I am saying we need to make her a new body.” said the false violet, voice returned to its usual coolness.

“The second worm’s existence proves it can be done. We know now they are merely the modified version of Lleios, robbed of memory, with a troll form they regenerate automatically. Their ancestor’s notes still exist; my research has confirmed the caverns are currently working with them, though they’ve had little progress since they lost their prize specimen.”

Rhyssa and Gallen both looked confused. Inshii sighed as their fins fluttered, a well-worn sigh cultivated over millennia of dealing with their ignorant family members.

“If either of you ever paid any attention to troll science…regardless, it’s possible, though it will take time and resources and likely several tests. I’ll handle it. All you two need to do is track down Tuuya.”

“Why?” retorted Rhyssa, both hurt and resentful. “So they can yell at me again? It was no fun the first time! I’m tired of dealing with their hooey. Bad enough I got the DeVilles bein’ all foul-tempered too! At least Klirro skedaddled off somewhere, good riddance.”

She made a dismissive hand gesture, and several wasps flicked their wings.

Inshii’s eyebrows raised and several butterflies flew over to look at Rhyssa more closely. Gallen watched all this with interest, some isopods quietly robbing his sibling of several hundred-caeger bills while neither of the others was paying attention.

“Did she give any reason why?”

Rhyssa shook her head, several wasps looking at each other as she shrugged her shoulders. “I really dunno, she was the only one not complainin’, though she was so damn kooky she was still a pain. Terrors are stupid, I dunno why folks are so scared of ‘em. Doesn’t seem like she told her coven she was leavin’ either, I tried askin’. They don’t wanna tell me a thing anyway, but I’m willin’ to bet they were as muddled as I was from how they acted.”

The butterfly swarm looked thoughtful.

“Interesting…very well. Rhyssa, you track down Klirro. Gallen, you find Tuuya. See if mother knows any places they might be hiding. She’s seen their memories, so it’s possible.”

‘If I find them, what are you going to do with them?’ asked the isopod swarm, expression neutral.

Inshii raised their eyebrows.

“Why do you care?”

‘I want to know.’ He signed, gestures firm and insistent.

“We need them out of the way, Gallen.” Inshii said with a touch of impatience. “Make sure they don’t do something stupid like come to get revenge. They blame Rhyssa for what happened to their limeblood, in case you’ve forgotten. I doubt they’re going to let that go.”

There was a long silence.

“You want Gal to kill ‘em?” Rhyssa said in a wavery voice. “But…”

Inshii folded their arms, face not brooking any argument.

“Do you want them to try to kill us? Tuuya is smarter than the pair of you, and if anyone could figure out a way to neutralize our eggshells, it would be them. Yes, it’s very, very unlikely. No, I’m not taking the chance. Unlike you two, I do not leave loose ends.”

Gallen looked at the wasps, who stared back, utterly still. Rhyssa turned her head away from the game and her siblings, shoulders hunched.

After a pause, the large false cerulean finally nodded.

‘Do you want me to kill them myself, or bring them to you?’

Inshii waved a hand.

“I don’t care what you do, I trust you to get it done properly on your own. Do yourself a favor and try to kill them quietly, so their social group doesn’t find out it was you. Some of them are quite dangerous, for trolls.”

Their brother nodded.

Inshii’s lips twitched in the ghost of a smile.

“Now that that’s settled, let’s get back to playing.”

Rhyssa got up and left, slamming the door to Inshii’s respiteblock behind her. The false seadweller put a hand to their hearing aids in irritation as static whined through them from the din.

“Why she’s giving me grief when she’s still mad at them for yelling at her, I’ll never understand.” Muttered the rainbowdrinker in annoyance.

“She knows what their ancestor did now, how they came to be. Why does she care if they die? They rebuffed her attempts to be friendly, you’d think she’d give up if she had any sense.”

Gallen said nothing. Inshii still hadn’t noticed that he’d stolen monopoly money from them. Inshii hadn’t noticed, or hadn’t cared, that Rhyssa had been fit to sting them when they’d mentioned killing Tuuya, and only his small parts tugging on hers had held her back.

His older sibling was smart - had always been the smartest of them, aside from Lleios. Ever since he’d hatched, Gallen had trusted them to lead him and the others.

He silently prayed to the messiahs for guidance as he began to clean up the monopoly game, Inshii walking away from it without a care.

He could only hope he was going to do the right thing.

#cloud writes #inshii #gallen #rhyssa #children of ozryel

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