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mayumiiyuu · 2 years

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v. curiouser and curiouser.

the kaleidoscope project masterlist.

June, 1985, Hawkins, Indiana.

I had grown exponentially since my escape.

Physically, I was a lot taller than I had been. Now that I was being taken care of and groomed myself almost on a daily basis, I regularly caught my reflection in the mirror, allowed myself to look, especially now that I had begun to express myself outwardly. My hair had grown longer along with my limbs, my face lost most of the softness from childhood, the occasional acne would litter some parts of my skin as I reached adolescence, and my voice had lost the high-pitched tone of a child, turning smoother and more steady as I had matured.

I had changed inwardly as well as I continued to find my personality. I was able to have better control of my emotions, occasionally having to close my eyes and shove my hands behind my back or distance myself a bit to keep my powers in check, but otherwise I only ever did so by habit. Some things didn't change though, as I continued to mostly enjoy my own company customarily, with the exception of the Byers, some of my new friends, and Irene.

Speaking of which, 'Irene' had soon turned into 'mom'. It left a strange feeling in my mouth those initial days she had asked me to call her that since she was my legal parent now, despite how she assured me that it was alright that I didn't, I still felt the need to do so, to cement it into my mind that I had a mother now, after years of detaching myself from the idea. But as time passed, I got used to it, felt giddy every time I used that label to refer to her, glad that I had someone to call my family, until it became as normal to me as breathing.

I had finally been enrolled into school after finishing the requirements needed, now, I was set for my Junior year of high school, excited for what was to come, no matter how tedious or boring school got.

I didn't have many friends, but the ones I had I was sure to have forever. While we didn't always eat together at lunch, I had made friends with a girl named Robin Buckley. As quiet and reserved as I had been in class, she managed to crack my hardened shell with jokes that made my ribs shake with laughter and interesting conversations I would go over time and again as I lay in bed at night. I remember that one conversation we had as she rambled on about conspiracy theories and UFOs and Area 51.

"I'm telling you, there are things that the government isn't telling us!" Her hands move rapidly in wild gestures.

I nod my head, genuinely interested in what she had to say, being living proof of the secrets the government held. "Yeah, no, definitely."

"You don't actually believe me." She says flatly.

"No, no, I do! Like that one thing you said about Area 51 and the Roswell incident, why would they need to cover it up if it wasn't aliens?"

"Exactly!"

I was still good friends with Jonathan, Will, and Joyce, them being close family friends and all. I had been devastated when Will had gone missing all those years ago, always by their side during those hard times. I rejoiced when Will had been found, visiting him along with my mom at the hospital, gifting him a new set of colored pencils to draw with.

I even reconnected with that one boy who first found me when I had collapsed after I fled the lab, the same boy I was too flustered to talk to in the music shop: Eddie Munson, who I would apparently still be schoolmates with this year as he repeated his senior year. His second time of being a senior, now. But I never looked down on him for that, how could I with his wicked sense of humor and kind nature? We had met that one time I had Saturday detention for calling another student out when they called him a bad name, utterly tired of her senseless bullying. Which may or may not have led me to using some profanities against her as insults, causing her to weep as if she were the victim just as a teacher had walked in. Cue frustrated groan.

We made eye contact as I entered the room, huffing as I sat down. He quickly switched seats, taking a seat on the chair right beside me.

"Hey, uh, (Y/N), right?"

I arched my brow at him. "Yeah?"

"I just wanted to say thanks, that was really cool of you, getting all up in that girl's face like that. Totally badass," he chuckled, drumming his knuckles in the table, it was then I had noticed the rings on his fingers. "I'm Eddie by the way, Eddie Munson."

I cock my head at him slightly, did he not remember me? Oh well, it was so long ago and our interaction was brief, anyway.

"(Y/N) Willows." I give him a lopsided smile.

"I was thinking, do you wanna ditch? The teacher in charge usually sleeps like a log."

I snort, shaking my head at the idea. "And get into more trouble? I don't know."

He shrugs before smirking at me, eyes glimmering with mischief. "We're only in trouble if we get caught."

I glanced at the teacher at his desk, already snoring softly as his head lolled on his shoulder, deep in slumber.

I run my tongue along my canines, nudging him. "You think we can get back before he wakes up?"

Eddie snickers under his hand as he rested his elbow on the table. "You and I are going to get along just fine, Willows."

From then on, hanging out with Eddie Munson became a regular occurrence whenever we had the free time. We bonded over many things, he was the one who introduced me to more music, talked to me about thought provoking ideas about society. I admired his non conforming nature, not caring about what people thought of him.

While I didn't care about my reputation at school, rolling my eyes at the thought of the exclusivity of high school cliques, it seemed that people naturally stayed out of my way, never being bothered nor bullied even when I sat alone at lunch, as I flipped through a book. Whenever I'd spot someone trying to mess with any one of my friends, one glare from me and they'd back away.

Thank you, resting bitch face!

I didn't mean to be intimidating, but I guess that was the effect I had on people. If people were too intimidated by me to be my friend, I didn't want them to be my friend. It was a sweet deal considering the fact nobody ever bothered me either.

Currently, I sat on the passenger seat of Eddie's van, on the way to Starcourt mall, banging our heads to a Metallica song.

While the mall was most definitely not Eddie's usual stomping grounds, I had begged, pleaded, and bribed him with cookies to come with me, as my mom had been too busy with work recently.

"For a hill, men would kill—!" Eddie yelled out the lyrics of the song, tapping his hand on the steering wheel to the beat.

"—why? They do not know!" I continued, rocking my head side to side.

He pulled over to a parking spot a short walk away from the entrance, shutting down the car engine.

"Hey, I have a question for you," I say as I unbuckled my seatbelt.

"Shoot." He replies, opening the door.

"When are you ever going to let me play ABBA?" I smirk as I heard him groan.

"I don't know, probably when I'm six feet under?" He shrugs sarcastically.

I fold my arms, nodding. "That can be arranged."

He tilts his head back with a gruesome groan, stumbling backwards theatrically as he places his hand over his chest for dramatic effect. I place my fists atop one another as I held my imaginary sword, pretending to pierce through his stomach with a loud 'hi-yah!'.

He sticks his tongue out as he closes his eyes. "That's it, you've done it, (Y/N), you got to play ABBA in my van, but at what cost?"

I giggle, slapping him on the arm. "Anything to hear Lay All Your Love On Me, Munson."

He pushes the doors open for me, allowing me to pass through, ever the gentleman. "You'd seriously sacrifice your best friend to listen to that?" He looks at me incredulously.

"And I'd do it again," I laugh as he pokes my side. "I will get you to like ABBA, Eddie Munson, just you watch!"

"Suddenly I'm blind." He replies monotonously, covering his eyes with his hands.

"Screw you," I say with a laugh as I shove him lightly.

"Yeah yeah, you want your ice cream or not? I was thinking about treating you too." He hummed, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"To Scoops Ahoy we go!" I exclaim, grabbing him by the arm as I raced through the brightly colored mall.

I walk over towards the counter, lugging Eddie behind me. In spite of Robin being right in front of me, I ding the bell repeatedly just to annoy her. She snatched the bell from under my hand.

"What do you want from me?" She rolls her eyes, trying to hide her grin.

"Here I thought you'd be happy to see me, Robin, the light of my life and the source of all my happiness." I pout, giving her puppy dog eyes. She flicks my forehead, making Eddie snort.

"I will sue you." I remark, a faint chuckle staining my words.

"Okay, are you just here to make my job ten times more insufferable by annoying me or do you actually want ice cream?"

"I'll have the usual." I shrug.

She furrows her eyebrows at me. "You've..never even been here?"

"Robin, we've been best friends since freshmen year, I really thought you'd have my favorite ice cream flavor down by now." I shake my head in fake disappointment as I sigh.

Robin rolls her yes at me for what seemed to be the tenth time as she scoops up my favorite flavor into an ice cream cone before she hands it to me.

She glances over at Eddie and then me.

"Oh, he'll have two scoops: one chocolate and one strawberry."

"Coming right up."

Eddie raises his brows at me. "Okay, stalker, how did you know what I wanted? Can—can you read minds?"

"Seeing as we share about one braincell, yeah, I can," my eyes crinkle as I watch him laugh. "No but seriously, of course I do, remember that time we went out to that convenience store for ice cream at like, 3 in the morning?"

"Oh yeah, I remember." He nods, twisting the ring on his left hand. "It's touching how you remember the little things, (Y/N)."

I roll my eyes at him.

"Whatever. Get your ice cream, I'll pay for it.” I reach into my pocket to pull out a few dollars.

"Hey, no, I said I'd treat you." He shoves his hand into his pocket as well, fishing for his wallet.

"No need for chivalry, Munson, I got this." I say as I hand over the money towards Robin, only for him to take it back and drop it into my hand.

"You treated me to milkshakes last week, let me return the favor." His tone is stern as he takes money from his wallet, handing it to Robin.

I roll my eyes with a smile as I nudge him gently. "Thanks, Eds."

He nudged me back softly. "No worries, red."

My eyes widen at his words, memories from the past flashing through my head, the whispers grew louder as I blinked rapidly before I shut my eyes, stilling myself, reminding myself that there were people around me. He takes his arm off of me, placing a hand at my back.

"You okay?"

I nod, steadying my breathing as I reopen my eyelids. "Yeah, it's just, why'd you call me that?" I chuckle halfheartedly, attempting to seem casual despite my pulsating heartbeat.

"Oh, y'know, 'cuz of that jacket you were a lot." He tugs at my jacket sleeves to emphasize his point, the same jacket I had bought on my 'birthday' all those years ago had begun to fit me better as I aged.

"Yeah, right, sorry, just got a random headache I guess."

"Probably from the heat, come on, let's eat up our ice cream." He ushers me towards a booth.

In spite of my strange reaction from earlier, I slowly let myself be at ease, more so now that Eddie was joking around. I throw my head back in laughter, covering my mouth to prevent my ice cream from splattering out. Just as I was relaxing, I catch sight of a girl, walking into the shop with another girl with red hair.

A breath hitches itself in my throat as I glance at her face, eerily familiar. Her eyes meet mine and she furrows her brows at me, only for her to smile again as she reached the counter.

"Hello? Earth to (Y/N), come in (Y/N)." Eddie waves his hand in front of me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Dude, seriously, you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost." He cocks his head to the side, concern filling his features.

I shake my head. "No, it's nothing, just thought I saw someone I knew."

"Okay," he says slowly. "Well, I'm practically done with my ice cream, and yours.. seems to be dripping out of your cone so you might wanna do something about that."

I quickly lick up the side of my ice cream cone, not wanting it to drip into my hand.

"Yeah," he stands up as I finish my ice cream, munching on the cone. "Wanna go now? Gotta rehearse at Jeff's in a while."

I grin, following his lead. "Yeah, let's go."

....

July, 1986, Hawkins, Indiana

I wave goodbye to Robin and Steve after they dropped me off at my house, wondering how on earth they became so close after having just worked together that one summer. Robin had asked me to hang out, introducing me to Steve in the process. I was apprehensive at first, knowing full well of his previous reputation at school. But rumors were rumors, and I decided I would pay no mind to that, not wanting to judge a book by its cover. As it turned out, he was friendly and easygoing, I laughed at how weak his argument against Robin's was when they got into a heated debate about music, of all things.

I smile to myself as I turn the doorknob, yelling out to signal to my mother that I was home before I shut the door. I made my way towards the living room to greet her, only to stop dead in my tracks as I saw a man sitting down on one of the chairs, two other men who were dressed in dark green uniforms stood at the side: military personnel.

The man that sat on the chair opposite to my mother regarded me with a nod before he stood up. I looked at my mother, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Mom," I inhale deeply, fidgeting with the sleeves of my jacket. "Who is this?"

Before she can open her mouth to speak, the man answers for me.

"I'm Dr. Owens," his tone is calm and even as he placed his hands into his pockets, I eye the white lab coat he wore with suspicion, hiding my hands behind my back as it fizzed with energy, instinctively lowering my gaze to the floor. "I'm glad to see you're doing okay, Red."

Panic crawls up my spine at the sound of my former name, my breathing started to turn ragged as my heartbeat quickened.

"It's okay, honey," my mother stood up, slowly making her way towards me. "He just wants to talk to you."

"What did he tell you?" I say, taking a step back away from her as my eyes flickered red.

Her features soften into one of dejection, but her eyes only showed understanding. "So it is true."

My gaze falls upon the two military personnel who were now eyeing me defensively. I look back at my mother, shaking my head slowly as I felt tears prickle my eyes, fear invading my senses as my irises faintly glowed.

"Please don't let them take me away." My lower lip trembled, my voice barely above a whisper I said this.

She reaches her hands towards me, but I stepped to the side, afraid I may hurt her as kept my hands to my chest.

"No one's taking you away, I promise. Just—just let him talk to you first, okay?"

I stared at Dr. Owens, my nerves still uneasy.

"It's okay, Red, like she said, I just want to talk—"

"Her name is (Y/N)." My mother interjected, mama bear mode activated as she glared at him sternly.

"Okay, (Y/N)," he nodded, speaking his words carefully. "I'm not going to take you away from her, but we need to go somewhere more private, more secure."

I shut my eyes, breathing in and out slowly before I open them, my irises back to their normal color, my hands no longer sparkling with red energy.

"How should I know if I can trust you?"

Dr. Owens raises his hands up in defense. "You just have to, I swear that I'll get you back here as soon as we're done."

I exhale, gazing at my mother worriedly, only for her to squeeze my hand, reassuring me that everything would be okay. I look to Dr. Owens again.

"Fine.”

....

I bounced my knee subconsciously as I bit the corner of my thumb, I was sat down in a bare room with only a table and two chairs. The coldness of the room reminded me all too well of the facilities I had been trapped in. I just started to live my life, what if they had wanted to take that away from me? My eyes glowed red at the thought, my other hand twitched as it emitted small red sparks.

I looked up as Dr. Owens entered a room, folders in hand. He placed them onto the table as he took a seat.

"I meant what I said when I told you I wasn't going to take you away. The Hawkins Lab had shut down already, I'm sure that you at least know that."

I had read of the shutdown in a newspaper once, as they had apparently caused the death of a girl named Barbara Holland. I pitied her, truly I did, but I couldn't help but feel relieved at the news that that terrible place had finally been closed for good.

"Are you aware of the events that transpired at Starcourt mall?"

My eyebrows knit together at his question, wondering what that had to do with me. "It burned down, there was a mall fire."

That had also been on the news, my mother and I looking at each other with concern as we heard it over the radio. So many deaths, so many innocent lives taken from an unfortunate accident.

"No, you're wrong," he flips over one of the folders, stacked with various documents and pictures. "There's more to it than that."

He told me the truth of what had happened, the shocking, bitter reality of that night, of otherworldly dimensions and monsters I thought only ever existed in fiction. I stared at the photos taken of the scene, of the remnants of the hideous beast they had managed to take samples of.

"Dr. Brenner had taken you from your previous lab because he was fascinated by your abilities, but after your escape, an..event took place, and he refocused his goal on his original experiments, one named Eleven, the only survivor of the massacre at the lab that day."

I furrowed my brows. "Massacre? If you’re insinuating something, that had nothing to do with me, I was long gone after that."

"No, I know, someone else was behind it, Dr. Brenner’s original experiment: One, who posed under the name Peter Ballard," he looks to me, my eyes glinting as my heart hammered in my chest, clenching my fists under the table at the sudden realization.

"He.. was the ward assigned to me," I whisper, the words coming out of my mouth slowly as I began to process the information. "He helped me escape, he—he took care of me, taught me how to control myself. This doesn’t make sense."

Dr. Owens stays silent, exhaling before he spoke.

“Not everything in life does, but somehow we suspect that he had been transported to the Upside Down, the other dimension, by Eleven after a fight had ensued between the two.”

I remember that little girl who had extracted the device from my neck, empathized with her as we were both trapped in the same facility. Even after all these years I would toss and turn in my bed, envisioning what had happened to her that day, if she had even been able to escape. My mind wandered over to that girl I saw at the mall those months ago, the same girl I had been introduced to by Will before they left for California, how her eyes had regarded me with the same wariness when we shook hands, the bizarre sense of familiarity that twisted in my stomach when I met her.

“In 1983, there had been a fluke accident during one of Brenner’s experimentations on her, she opened the gateway to this world by accident, releasing one of its native creatures,” he slides over another folder to me, already opened. My hands trembled as I caught sight of a picture of Will. “We found that it had been responsible for the disappearance of one William Byers.”

I clamped my eyes shut, steadying my breaths to calm myself down, pushing away the voices that lingered in my mind.

“I was then put in charge of the lab in 1984; stranger still, the gate was still very much open, despite my team’s efforts, it seemed that something had attached itself to Will, allowing for more creatures to escape.”

I swallow, hard, at the thought of that sweet boy being out through so much. I screamed at myself in my head for not being there to protect him, beating myself up that I hadn’t been part of this treacherous endeavor. I could have done something about it, prevented him from suffering, but I was too afraid to lose the new life I had to use my powers or to reveal it to anyone.

“Eleven had managed to close the gate, but we had become too complacent, thinking that everything was finally over and done for. That was when the events at Starcourt had occurred. If it weren’t for Will and his friends for intervening time and again, I fear that something worse might have happened.”

I scan over another document that detailed what had happened at Starcourt mall, a breath hitched itself in my throat as I read out the names of the people who had been a part of the defeat of the monster, all of Will’s friends’ names were there, including Joyce and former police chief Jim Hopper—but four names had stuck out to me in particular: Jonathan Byers, Nancy Wheeler, Steve Harrington, and Robin Buckley.

Of all the people Robin or even Jonathan could have confided in about this, I thought that I would be the first person they would have ran to. We told each other practically everything, holding each of the secrets we had spilled to one another closely to our hearts. But I didn’t blame them for keeping this from me; if I did I would have been a hypocrite. I had far too many dark secrets that I held inside myself, too afraid to tell a soul.

“So you see now why we may need you.” Dr. Owens clasps his hands together. “Your friends have deliberately put themselves in danger more than once now, all for the greater good. The question now is: are you willing to do the same?”

I look down at my hands, the tips of my fingers lightly buzzed, red sparks of energy flitting to and fro. I tightened my hands into fists, but I remained silent. If I revealed myself to them, would they run away? Would it mean that I would be putting them in more danger? Or would hiding that push that danger to the extremes?

I realized then that I couldn’t run away any longer.

“Tell me, (Y/N),” Dr. Owens cocked his head to the side as he regarded me curiously. “Can you still use your abilities?”

“Yes.” I answered. I had spent years hiding them, ignoring my memories as I pushed them to the back of my mind, but I was still very much a Color. That was one thing I could never erase from my identity.

“Show me, if you can.”

I took in a deep breath as I closed my eyes, allowing my memories to flow. Recollections of being pierced with needles, thrown into a cell, electrocuted with tasers occupied my mind. I lifted my hand up, feeling the energy that coursed through my veins, the light above us flickered as I absorbed electricity from the wiring in the walls and ceiling. As I opened my eyes, irises glittering red, my fingers danced, gracefully flexing and relaxing as I held a glowing ball of pure energy in my hand.

The red glow in my eyes flickered as I let the energy dissipate, the light on the ceiling returning to a steady gleam.

Dr. Owens nodded. “And of your ability regarding molecular transfiguration?”

I place my palms on the metal table between us, and I closed my eyes again. The image was clear in my mind as I felt the atoms that made up the table, compact and steady as the structure of metal should be. I willed for them to disperse from one another, opening my eyes to reveal the table in a liquid state, mercury-like as some drops of fluid floated into the air. I focused, concentrating the atoms back to their original state as the metal table turned back into what it once was.

“Excellent,” Dr. Owens breathed out at my display of my abilities. “Your capabilities speak for themselves, it seems.”

He hands me another folder, the cover of this one more yellowed than the others, marking its older age. “After doing some digging, I found your file, the one from your original lab.”

I take it, heart pulsating in my chest, unsure of whether or not I should even open it.

“This is extremely delicate, private information, so I need you to safeguard it as best as possible. I’m giving this to you because I feel that you need to learn its contents, know about your past,” he takes a pen from the front pocket of his lab coat, then a slip of paper from another as he wrote a number on it. “Call this number if you ever need to reach me, but make sure to use it only when necessary. Do you understand?”

I nod my head as he hands me the paper, staring intently at the number.

“Okay,” he stands, fixing his lab coat. “Let’s get you home.”

….

As I stepped onto the porch, my head felt light, thoughts spun around my head a mile a minute, instead of being satisfied with the answers and truths Dr. Owens had revealed to me, it only left me with more questions, more uncertainties.

I quietly made my way towards the backyard, fear prickled the back of my neck as I hadn’t found my mother inside the house, breathing out in relief as I found her sat on the staircase of the back porch, eyes trained towards the horizon as if she were in deep thought.

She turned to me as she heard the door close, enveloping me in a hug which I gladly returned.

“I’m sorry,” I say, voice shaking with guilt from withholding so much from her. “I’m sorry I never told you.”

She stroked the back of my head lovingly, shushing me as she pulled away. “You have nothing to be sorry about.”

I shake my head, gritting my teeth to prevent my chin from trembling as I wiped away tears. “No, you deserved to know, and I kept that from you for so long.”

“You had your reasons, I understand that now,” she leads me to the top step of the staircase, sitting me down, rubbing my shoulder soothingly as she wrapped her arm around me. I leaned my head onto her shoulder. “If I were in your shoes, I don’t think I would’ve said anything about it either.”

“Will this change things?” I say, voice barely above a whisper as I turned to look at her. “Would you still have adopted me even if you knew?”

She smiled at me, affection gracing her features. “I’d be stupid if I didn’t, I love you, (Y/N), powers or none. Guess I was right when I said I thought you were special, huh?” She nudged me playfully, causing me to giggle despite my tears. I frown as a thought passed through my head, mustering the courage to speak it aloud.

“But what if I hurt you?”

She shakes her head, kissing me on the forehead. “You could never. I know you, (Y/N), you have a good heart, which is a fantastic feat all in itself considering everything that you’ve been through. You’re strong, you managed to survive so much, and on your own, too. And I want you to know that I’m proud of you for that, for not letting what had happened to you, your trauma, turn you into a bad person.”

I sniff at her words, leaning more into her touch as she held me. I once wondered what it was like to feel loved, wholly and genuinely, in spite of all my flaws and shortcomings.

I was glad to know what that was like now.

That night, we ate dinner as usual, laughed and talked as we washed the dishes and cleaned up after ourselves. Once it was time for me to go to bed, she gave me a warm hug, assuring me that she was always here for me if I needed anyone to talk to, to help me manage my abilities. I thank whatever gods and forces of the universe for placing her in my life as she did so.

Just as I was about to fall asleep, I shot up out of bed, remembering the documents Dr. Owens had handed to me. I bit my lip, still anxious of what information would be brought down upon me like an atom bomb.

I sighed as I stood up, walking towards my desk, opening the drawer I had kept it in. As I switched on the lamp, I drummed my fingers on the table, staring at the file intently.

Screw it.

I flipped open the file, scanning over the first page.

‘Subject A-370 of Project K

Code name: Red

Born (birthdate), 1968.

Spawned from Subject B-5126, (mother’s name)

Data report:

Upon running the corresponding tests, Subject A-370 displays immense potential for extraordinary abilities, notably the manipulation and absorption of energy and energy sources, as well as the manipulation of atomic structures and matter. Subject A-370 is the amalgamation of the efforts on genetic enhancement and mutation from Project Beta, i.e. Project Fordus, marking the overall project as a success despite the failures that preceded it. It is worth noting that Subject B-5126 of Project Beta is now inutile to the Project, unable to properly birth another successful subject other than A-370, furthering the miraculous nature of this particular specimen.

Report authored & validated by Dr. Amelia Peters.’

I feel my facial features form into a scowl as I gripped the edges of the table, my eyes flared red with anger, I could feel the tips of my fingers start to burn the wood of the table. I remove my hands from it quickly, rubbing them as I took in a breath.

My head felt heavy, massaging my temple as questions congested my brain.

Who was (mother’s name)? And what did they mean when they referred to me as her spawn? Was she my biological mother then, seeing as the report had stated that she had apparently birthed me?

Despite my heavy mind, my body felt light while my stomach did somersaults, as if I had been falling—just like Alice, falling deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole, her curiosity only got the best of her in the end as she spiraled, with no way of getting back up. The information I had just bore witness to opened up some sort of portal in my mind, allowing some of my memories to become more clear as I envisioned a woman’s face. Was that her? Was that subject B-5126? How long had they experimented on others just to get the results they wanted? How many lives had they destroyed for the sake of their twisted ambitions?

Further down the rabbit hole I went, curiouser and curiouser until I found myself knee-deep in the mystery of my past, finding that there was more to the story than I had ever known.

I glance at the slip of paper Dr. Owens had given me, his words ringing throughout my head as I traced the numbers written in ink.

I needed to make a call.

….

taglist: @preciousbabypeter @justaproudlslytherpuff @iiheartbowie @beebeerockknot @nightless @lovelydivs @r-royce

#stranger things x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #stranger things season 4 #eddie munson stranger things #stranger things smut #eddie munson smut #stranger things fic

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lulullia · 11 months

Text

Lyphuriaa Progress Report #1

Well, it's been a long while since my last post, because since then I've been in input – or learning – mode and spent my days absorbing information on my favorite topic: storytelling.

Before that, I was really creatively blocked, unable to do anything but stare at the screen trying to get my body to f-ing move and start drawing, writing, or coding – with little success. And so, in the process of searching for stuff to consume and kill time with, I remembered a favorite, huge resource I had already started reading but needed to finish, and that's how I ended up switching to input mode.

Lesson learnt: sometimes, if you're blocked and taking breaks doesn't help, it may just be because you're trying to output when you're really in need of input. That can take the form of inspiration (like browsing Pinterest or going back to a favorite book/movie/game…) but also actual education (like an online course or book, articles and videos on the topic, etc).

And sure enough, as I was expanding my knowledge on storytelling, I couldn't help but go and apply that to my current projects. I'll summarize the progress made on Lyphuriaa (or more like massive problem-fixing), and also share the two amazing resources I've been binging at the end, if you're making stories too!

Bird's eye view on the plot

For the longest time, Lyphuriaa was mostly in my head, and the plot was nothing more than "Lulu's life". That's because I started imagining it when I was a kid, and so it was never properly structured the way a story ought to be. Almost exactly a year ago, I realized the problem and started fixing it, cutting the boring parts, beginning the story at a more exciting point, changing up variables…

The result was already something that felt way more like I'd enjoy reading it myself, more mature and cohesive, but it still very broken structurally. It's only these past few weeks/months that I really started digging deeper and fix the core.

The core being, of course, the three basic components of a story – the Story Goal, the Protagonist (person pursuing the goal), and the Antagonist (person in opposition to the goal being achieved). Yeah, Lyphuriaa was that broken. Let's see how exactly, and then show the current fix.

The problems

The story goal was super fuzzy. I knew it was something along the lines of "taking back Lyphuriaa to rebuild it" but NONE of the characters, or events actually worked towards it. I also had no idea on the actual steps to fulfill it. Something fuzzy like "board airship or ship, fly/sail to the place, remove any stupid goons tryna stop you, plant flag, done! then epilogue showing the place rebuilt!" Plus, I didn't have enough details on the situation on Lyphuriaa (the place), like Why did it get abandoned if its people were literally genocided to take over the land? What's the situation outside Lyphuriaa – do the winners still have their eyes on it, don't care about it anymore, still claim ownership of the land? What about other countries? etc, etc.

The protagonists – Lulu and Vlad – are completely fleshed out as characters, but the problem was within their personal goals and motivations. If I just let them do whatever they wanted, they'd go live on a boat and sail the world, not "take back Lyphuriaa to rebuild it". I just struggled immensely to tie them to the "goal" somehow. That's part of the reason why none of the plot points worked towards the goal – the main characters don't even care about it. At some point I even considered the fact that maybe, they're not meant to tell this story, and that I should change either the goal or the protagonists.

That antagonists, well, they were almost non-existent. They're the least developed element. I just knew there was one group trying to get Lulu to use her unique power to open portals so that they could invade (a plotline that's now scrapped, because I figured a threat coming from inside the world is more interesting than one coming from outside, plus, I want Lulu to be special because of what she does, not what she's born with). And another group, the ones instigating the Lyphurian war, who don't want Lyphuriaa to be rebuilt again. And that's all I knew about the people who are supposed to bring as much conflict to the story as possible. Needless to say, they really did nothing throughout the story, it's as if they only woke up at the end when the cast finally set foot on Lyphuriaa, or something.

The glaring, glaring problem that took me a lot of time to spot, is the absolute lack of conflict. I had a 2k words outline of the story, but it was just about Lulu, Vlad and a few others going on about their life, smoothly. Then there were a few events that really had nothing to do with that, aka the "main plot".

Nothing is connected

I literally have a line saying, "somehow they find her father". Like, is it something that happens randomly (in which case it's lazy), or is it unimportant enough that we don't even need to show how it happens (in which case why keep it at all?), or it's supposed to be part of the plot (in which case why have the protagonists never even show a sign of wanting to do that)…?

"Somehow" is a red flag practically all of the time in storytelling, as it breaks consistency and believability. I know that in the outline, I wrote "somehow" as a shorthand for "this needs to happen and I have no idea how to connect it so I'm leaving it to you, future self :D" but even so it's a symptom of a larger problem underneath.

Literally the last bullet point of the whole outline: "I almost forgot that the story isn't Vladleen but Lyphuriaa. So I guess here be adventures to take back Lyphuriaa! yay!"

Random fluff adding dead weight

Another easier to fix problem was scenes or entire plotlines that were completely unnecessary to the story. As I said Lyphuriaa exists since my childhood and so, there were a lot of random stuff I added because I thought it was cool and I had no idea how to make a properly structured story, but that I never questioned when overhauling it. It's only when I realized that nothing is set in stone until I say so, and that I'm not bound by these boundaries just because they've been here a long time, sometimes even since the very beginning, that I started cutting stuff and, most importantly, change key parts to make them infinitely more interesting.

The scrapped plotline. The stuff about a virus, and Lyphurians having a special purpose, is scrapped too. Cutting such a huge part of the story led to literally no consequences, and felt so relieving.

Playing around with key variables

For example, I was under the assumption that Vlad can only come in later in the story and not the beginning, and that the Liance between him and Lulu can only happen waaay later when they start having feelings for each other. But one day I had this idea: what if we start the story at the point of their meeting, and have them be lianced right then and there, maybe even against their will?

And that's how one of the key moments in Lyphuriaa was born, bringing a ton of conflict and interesting situations and characterization with it to the table that could never have happened otherwise. Now both protagonists are on-screen right away (especially since Vlad is the most interesting out of the two at first), the Liance functions like a character arc for both of them because it's a problem they have to overcome, that results in a much more interesting relationship than just lovers, and is also an interesting concept to explore right off the bat that can play a part in hooking the reader, and on and on. All of that just from changing two variables.

Yeah, I write a lot in my notes. It's helpful to order my thoughts in the present, and leave a trace of the past for when I find it again in the future.

The fixes

This is getting very long, I wonder if you'd prefer if I split posts like these in parts…

The story goal – thanks to some adjustments and lots of inspirations from the resources below, I could finally find a goal that is similar to what I had in mind, but also agrees with the protagonists and antagonists. Even though I'm presenting this as three bullet points, the truth is, it's all interconnected and should be worked on as a whole, not just one at a time. So, now the main goal of Lyphuriaa is, "to (re)build a place where all Lyphurians can call home". It's not only clearer, but also more personal, and ties in perfectly with the theme of the story (finding the people you belong with – whose side you can call home).

The protagonists now have proper motivations and goals that align with the story goal! They became tied to it way more naturally, plus it connects with the theme again and provides conflict: Lulu is a Lyphurian, and because of her species' defining traits simply cannot feel like she belongs amongst Vampires and other people. Even better, she doesn't feel safe. Lyphurian blood is a luxury for Vampires, their horns valued products, and their glowing skin scare people away (especially since most people aren't aware of the existence of Lyphurians; they may be ghosts for all they know). And thus, coupled to something else that is spoilers, she sees Vlad as the perfect opportunity to stand up for her people and make a place where they can feel at home, together (Vlad has money and means). And what better place for this if not their original homeland? (The only issue still left is to tie Vlad into this as well, I already have an idea for this that also ties into the theme of finding home that needs tweaking, but it's spoilers too so I'll leave it at that.)

The antagonists… are still the least developed, but at least now I'm clear on who are the antagonizing groups, and what's their goal so I can build what they'll do on top of that. I still need to go closer and build them as individuals and give them a personal stake. What's certain is that I want them to be smart and unpredictable, playing an intense game of "who is actually one step ahead the other?" with the protagonists. They are active, just as active as their enemy. There are also a couple other surprise major characters that don't fit in either category, but will stir trouble in trying to achieve their own personal goals – aka pushing the story forward.

You can see the difference, now the story is packed with conflict and potential for conflict everywhere. It's starting to take the shape of one intense ride! There are a ton of little tweaks that improve the story overall, here's a few…

Everything is interconnected

Sharp contrast to how it was before, now every event serves a purpose in either the main plot or in major subplots (I took the time to clearly lay out the different plotlines, that's what the very first image is about; each "row" is one plotline). Not only that, but each character has a link to the main plot, or at least thematic relevance.

The side-character I'm most excited about is Ava, Lulu's bestie. It's through her that a lot of Vladleen's relationship is brought out, because these two mostly don't need to actually talk, they can just send brain signals. Ava is the kind of person who has no filter, can't read the room, but can easily spot subtle differences around her. Kinda hard to explain, but she does a good job of getting Vladleen to show themselves to the reader. Plus, she's gonna be the center of a very big choice (aka conflict) both Vlad and Lulu will have to make, you could say the ultimate choice that will show who they truly are, what they care about more than anything else (and thus ties into the theme as well).

Little preview of this energetic and fun character~

More playing around with variables

As I was reading up on the resources mentioned before, key points of the story kept getting challenged. Long-lost heir to a throne as a plot twist? Check. Heir characterized only by their blood? Check. Mentor who comes take said heir and push them forward themselves instead of letting her walk by herself? Check. Protagonists only acting after antagonist strikes, and never before? Check. Mentor keeping key info secret for no reason? Check.

That's a lot of hidden clichés I was aware of but thought I had added enough uniqueness to them, and I'm glad the articles made me see them in their true form and their bad consequences. So I took all of those and more and switched variables around.

The most important change was a set of tweaks to Lulu and her "heritage". She not only isn't a good fit to be a ruler, but also doesn't want to rule (remember when I said the MCs didn't care about the goal?). I didn't have any specific reason as to why her bloodline was special and why it had to be the ruling one. All of this made her into something I really didn't like: a person defined by what she was born with, not by her actions. She would have never been on this path if she didn't have this blood and powers. I don't know if you can see it but, it all feels like her actions are determined by her blood; she would have always made the same choices even if circumstances were different; she doesn't have free will. And when you know that protagonists' most important role is to make choices… Well.

So the first thing I did was dig into the bloodline's origin, which made me realize that if that's how it originated, then there should be more than one family with the same special characteristics, not just one. Just this change implies so much: the bloodline alone doesn't give you a right to the throne anymore, and Lulu can just rally her people and lead them to the goal, and step down then; Lulu is no longer the only one who can unseal Lyphuriaa, if there are other families, and thus her decision to do so anyway comes from inside her and not outside; imagine the amount of exciting stuff (aka conflict) that can happen with having other bloodline members around!!! and so much more.

Lulu getting back her agency to do what she wants is the highlight, though. I remember reading/watching a pretty long manga/anime (won't say the name to not spoil) where at the end it's revealed that everything that happened, only happened because a higher entity kept resetting time until they got the course of events that they wanted to see. It truly made the whole thing meaningless, just like "it was all a dream!" endings, it means the characters never earned anything by themselves, they're just puppets; I want to avoid that at all cost.

As much as I'd like to keep writing, I think I've covered the most important parts; this is long enough as it is.

Zeroth draft

Alright, I'm done talking about the plot changes, here's something more concrete: I think I'll participate in Camp NaNo this july to get a "zeroth draft" started.

Basically, that's a draft before the first draft. It's not meant to be the first stage of the final product, but something more meta before it. I have no pressure to make it make sense; I just write with what I currently have and improvise to fill in the gaps. What I actually write can range from detailed description of the action, to one-line scenes such as "here they fight". A barebones text that I can then use to make the actual first draft, later.

This is all because, for the longest time I thought I was a planner, but it turns out I may actually be a pantser, discovering the story as I write it. So I want to put that theory to the test and write like a pantser during Camp NaNo. I really, really want to write this story.

Here's a link to my NaNoWriMo profile, where I set myself a goal of 20k words for this month. I have no idea whether it's big or small, we'll see. (feel free to add me if you write too.)

This post took me a whole day to write, but I had fun summarizing these past months' progress. I also really want to try out animating a scene, and coding a prototype with it, but I'll make a post about that when I have something to show.

If you made it this far, I thank you sincerely. I know that people who enjoy long-form content aren't extinct, but it's getting harder to find them. Reblogging and sharing helps, but a simple like can let me know it's reaching some people at least c:

Storytelling resources

Two big resources that pack a ton of valuable advice and storytelling principles.

Limyaael literary rants – about 400 individual essays, mostly geared towards fantasy. Helped me improve my story in so many ways, and I'm still halfway through it. Start from the beginning, everything is useful.

Filmento – an absolutely incredible channel, each of his videos feel like a university-level lecture on storytelling and sometimes cinematography. The video is separated into clear points, always taking example from a movie, so you can see it in action, and it's super engaging and funny to boot. Most of the stuff applies to stories in general, don't let the word "movie" scare you! See his "Film Perfection" and "Anatomy of a Failure" playlists especially.

Taking notes is a must, if I had read/watched through all of these without taking notes it'd have been a monumental waste of time since I'd have forgotten all of it. Also, it's not enough to take them, if you can't find them later, be it tomorrow or in a year (looking at you, people who take notes in Youtube comments).

My Obsidian vault has close to 1,000 individual notes, and in 99% of the time I can find any note I need in less than 5s, even if I don't remember the note's title, because I have so many different ways to search for it. So find yourself a tool that helps you use your notes, not just create and forget them.

After only a few days of reading/watching, when I came back to my story's beginning that I previously thought was perfectly fine, I could 1) immediately spot problems and 2) immediately know how to fix them. Literally, I'm tempted to say that's all you need to learn storytelling in-depth.

Enjoy!

#lulullia #progress report #lyphuriaa #storytelling #storytelling techniques #writing resources #camp nano 2023 #camp nano july 2023 #writing

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allqrcoded · 5 months

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Devlog 5: Where are we headed? + Year end origin stories

Welcome back.

In all seriousness, I don't know how to number these things. Does the counter restart once the game you were talking about last dev log finishes production? Do you just keep on continuing despite now starting a new project? Either way, I'll go on & keep this as is. The year's almost ending and I feel like it's about time to announce the new game I'm working on (as if it weren't obvious that the MCs were revealed in my art blog months ago, but either way...)

With angel care officially being released on July of this year along with into sun&dark being a mini game jam project I sent out within the same time, there left a hole in my heart where handling a big project such as a game cemented itself in. Albeit, working on angel care has been a wild journey to say the least, but throughout it, I found out that telling stories through games allows me to merge the 2 things I love doing (writing & art). If making comics didn't click for me and solely writing a novel makes me worry about the specific character designs that might get lost, then making games is perfect.

Whilst the characters of angel care were solely made out of new OCs, Lucas and Del from sundark were actually repurposed characters from an old story I never completed. The universes weren't exactly the same, but the concept of doomsday remained. Rex from this new project, Descent to Negative Zero, follows the same repurposing. This time, it's about someone who comes back… Again, yes, but that trope is my favorite.

Origin stories

If you've been a follower of my art blog since last year, you might've seen a character I drew during October, Ace, with another character from a fandom I was active in (Daybreak.) He was a submission in a contest, but never got in, so I shelved him for a bit until this year, thinking that I could use him for an RPGMaker game in the future, since I always had the dream to make one (and guess where we are right now...) A bit dismayed because I had a fondness for him at that time, I clung onto that "maybe." And so, he sat there for a while, and eventually, my fondness for him faded away once I got the idea of angel care. Long live his skater boy and bunny motif along with his pink dyed hair.

And, look! Some drafts of the AC trio from last year too. But, moving onto Ace and fast forward to the final stretches of the AC bug-fixing hell...

(^ I remember back then that I really liked this final piece. Sometimes I keep thinking to myself that last year's events were from 2 years ago.)

My mind then drifted to Ace again... Disappearances and mist snatching, huh? Well, disappearing sounds good for a plot point, but I still need to work around the mist thing (Daybreak character entrails he left that I needed to clean up before he's completely separate from it.) The bunny motif and the pink hair were cute too. I wasn't too sure about the skater thing, so I decided to change it.

Long story short, he transformed from a skater to a shoegazer (my projection. I just wanted to include that song genre into this because I love it and for the sake of OST potential too). Kyle (the dude I used to draw him with a lot) needed a replacement too, so thus, his skater boy gene got transferred to Josh, his new best friend. Whilst that whole tangent was a big factor in the repurposing stage, in terms of clothes, Rexosh both wear some items in my closet that I just took and adjusted a bit -- both came from thrift stores, actually! Knowing that, I decided to make them thrifters and have them go to one in an early game flashback.

Right now, I don't have the jacket Josh wears because that's being tailored, but most of the elements are inspired by that.

I won’t spoil too much of the plot, but I will say that it’s connected to one of my previous games. Dt-z almost became a short summer visual novel until sundark came along and replaced it instead. Whilst its main element in the story stayed the same, it turned more puzzle-focused in the end.

Progress report/since when?

Starting up the project during summer, it’s been around four months since I made the first (yes, since it did get corrupted in some instances) RPGMaker file for it. Right now, I’m around coding the mid-point of the game with a bunch of placeholders in the project to get the ball rolling in the coding space since making parallax maps takes a while for me. Dt-z is more visually out there than AC, with the use of shadow overlays and what not. Making them for dozens of maps is a bit tedious (so, that’s why I’m putting that job in the late coding stage), but the end result is stunning.

As I’m writing this, I’ve paused on coding one of the mid-game puzzles. Surprisingly, I get a lot of stuff done in the weekends with this project. Making the solutions for them is a bit time-consuming, yes, but seeing it play out makes it worth it. Unlike AC, I don’t have all the time in the world to work on this game because of IRL matters, etc. So, the fact that I still managed to get a good amount of progress in just 4 months is pretty good. The dialogue doc for this game is also done in areas regarding important cutscenes, including a rough draft of what the end game would be like (right now, it's longer than AC's script page count wise! Maybe that's because I included some flavor text there.) I still have to adjust aspects of the script to keep their situation plausible there, but other than that, it's good. Without any context, here are some screenshots of what the maps look like from October and a recent one I took:

Albeit, I still need to adjust some things accordingly, but since this project is still in its baby stage, I'm not prioritizing that sort of thing right now.

So far, I'm trying to avoid the trend of RPGMaker game puzzles needing to find a key in every room and while puzzle making is a thing I'm not that experienced with, I realized that I took most of my inspiration with them with the games I've been playing these months, Death Mark and Spirit Hunter: NG.

Of course, me picking up those games wasn't because of wanting to take inspiration from them first — I just wanted a way to de-stress, but after a bit, I took some mental notes in my mind. NG's puzzles are very satisfying to solve. Whilst this dev log isn't focused on what games I played for the month, let's just say that I preferred NG over DM for a variety of things.

Moreover, I've been adjusting the endings and the way you get lore tidbits through the story to make the true end of the game pack more of a punch so that by the time you go ending hunting, you won't get dragged down by the same realizations the characters go through. There's a lot of flavor text I have to write, essentially.

Let's talk about themes

Continuing the trend of wanting to explore themes close to my heart in my bigger projects, Dt-z is in the same light with AC. Whilst the mood is entirely different (color palette not so cool/winter, characters being younger, even the premise being puzzle focused), Dt-z's themes were the ones that more or less defined my summers, just like how AC defined my winters (even if where I lived didn't snow, but, nevertheless, the phrasing still sticks).

I like to think that making art, helps me process stuff a bit and that's why I still got an itch in me to take up another big project similar to AC despite me knowing that this year would be busier than the last. I'm remaining vague here to not spoil the entire plot of it, but let's say that I hold the message I want to say through this dear to my heart. There's a lot I want to say regarding these two games (including sundark!), but I want to work on letting my audience make up their own conclusion on the work just based off the content without my involvement.

Albeit, as an artist, I've always had this selfish desire in me to want everyone to get this one conclusion — this one reading on what I worked on because with every piece I make, there's always a message I want to tell. But, through the years, I've gotten to the point where I stopped pseudo-denying the fact that people aren't like that. I've started even enjoying other readings of my work because through them, I get to see more perspectives I haven't even considered whilst keeping the main point in mind. So, let's just say that AC is about death and angels and winter and friendship and love. And with Dt-z, it's about love too because love is just universal.

Thanks for coming

Restraining myself from talking more about Dt-z's details… In summary, I've been enjoying working on this project. Rexosh really are fun to draw & I want to share their story sometime once I'm finished. I want to write more trivia blogs later on with my released games (especially AC because I have a lot to talk about there), but for now, I'll keep on going.

#dt-z #devlog #rpgmaker

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rheallsim · 2 years

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I just wanted to make a little post explaining why I haven't been as active here lately, so here goes!

[Fair warning, there's discussion about chronic health issues (Chronic Fatigue in particular) under the cut.]

So I really, really miss the old gameplay posts I used to make, for the Velasquez Legacy, my LEPacy family, the Globetrotter Challenge, etc. I miss the engagement and I miss the stories and I miss seeing my sims faces pop up on my timeline when their queued post is published.

The issue is I've been struggling for the past few years with worsening chronic fatigue symptoms. Nowadays I sleep on average of 9-12 hours every day and I still wake up just as exhausted as when I went to sleep. Most days I don't end up getting out of bed until 2pm in the afternoon, and it's not for a lack of trying; I'm just a complete useless utter zombie if I try to wake up before my body is ready to.

I started a job at the beginning of this year, a really good one for my circumstances, working from home five hours a day, twice a week. My coworkers were fantastic, my boss was the best boss I've ever had, and they worked so hard to accommodate me and my fatigue issues, but after working there for seven months I realized that my CFS was getting worse, not better. So I had to quit. :(

It was the first real job I'd had since 2010. It was such a wonderful opportunity, and with such great people, and I was heartbroken that I had to leave them. They said they'd do their best to welcome me back if I started to feel better, which was so kind of them! But right now I have no idea when that will be, if ever.

I've had CFS symptoms since well before COVID-19 hit us all, but my doctors didn't get their act together to seriously try and find me a specialist to help until around the time COVID hit. And of course, so many of the CFS resources, of which there were very few to start with, are now taken up by folks suffering with Long Covid, which presents almost exactly like CFS in many cases and have been treated by the same specialists.

I've been trying to find a specialist to take me on for years now, and haven't been able to find anyone. I've taken all sorts of tests to try and figure out what causes my fatigue, and even though we've ruled out a lot of things, we've found nothing that's helped. I've just been steadily getting worse over time, losing more and more of my life to this brain fog and lethargy.

Just a couple weeks ago, a referral to a specialist I was waiting on since February finally got back to me to say "We faxed your family doctor back in June to say we weren't taking any CFS patients, didn't he tell you?" And of course, he didn't. This is the third time he hasn't told me that a referral has fallen through and I had to find out months later on my own.

Years of my life have been taken up by this. Waiting months and months on a referral only to find it's a dead end and having to start all over again. And because of the current family doctor crisis and other health system issues it takes months for me to get another appointment with my GP just to discuss this all and have the process repeated for another year and a half to year-long wait.

Anyway… I'm sorry for rambling at you all! Long story short, I've been losing myself into a lot of escapism-type games that require little brain. And unfortunately, taking screenshots and writing gameplay stories for the Sims takes just a little too much brain for me to be able to do it reliably. So I've been taking a break from the social side of Simblr, and just letting myself play how I want for a while at my own pace.

Other than playing games I've been getting heavily into embroidery. When I have good days where I can actually focus long enough to work on it I've been really enjoying myself! Here's an example of some of the things I've made:

I miss being creative. I miss drawing, I miss writing, I miss creating things. I mourn for the life I could have had if it hadn't been taken away from me by CFS. But I'm grateful that I'm here, I'm grateful that I'm not in pain, that I'm otherwise healthy, that my family and friends and pets are wonderful and healthy, and that I can still embroider and make nice things when my body allows me to. Things aren't all bad. <3

Thank you for reading this far, if you have. I miss you all, and I hope you're all well! Keep being awesome, you're all so good at it. 🥰

#Rheall Rambles #Text Post #non-sims #Chronic Health #Chronic Fatigue Syndrome #ME/CFS #Chronic Illness #fatigue

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evelhak · 1 year

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Long personal rambling ahead, you've been warned.

I had a weird day walking around my high school city, it almost literally felt like going back in time, since it's been a long time since I walked in the places I used to, I've driven through it and gone to specific places but not like... wandering around the spots I used to spend time in as a teen. I was so surprised the corner of the book shop that I used to hide in was still there. It was always enough out of view so that I could browse books as much as I liked and sit there for hours without anyone noticing or asking anything.

Also I realized the spot at the mall where I cried my eyes out when I didn't get into a musical was exactly the same it was 12 years ago. It made me quite reflective and it got me thinking about my worst and best high school memories which now made me want to share one specific story... Because I've obviously mentioned many times already that I relate to Kuroko deeply, but I haven't really explained why. Not that people would necessarily even be interested, but my blog is like a weird diary anyway, so I'm just gonna tell this memory. Maybe someone will vibe with it.

It started with that musical. It was one of the things why I had chosen my high school (the other was to get a place at a Japan exchange, which I did succeed at) but yeah, I didn't get a role. I was told my presence was "too sensitive" like I wouldn't be able to fill the stage, be expressive enough and draw attention. It was totally fair by the way, but devastating to me at that age, because acting was something I had a real fixation about, and it wasn't even something I had long-term plans for, I had just got it in my head that it was something I needed to check out of my bucket list, no matter what, I wouldn't have peace unless I was in a "real" play once.

So, yeah, I did cry my eyes out because I had tried really hard and wanted it a lot, but after I stopped crying, the teacher's words just made me want to prove they were wrong. So, I decided to do a theater diploma with my friends instead, and the biggest part of it was to write, direct and act a play which would be publically performed. I was already a writer so that role eventually fell to me, which I was only happy about. We had already decided to do a murder mystery which I was so psyched about since I was in my most intense Sherlock obsession at the time. Anyway, I got this idea that since I could write my own role I could make it about my so-called weakness, actually I could write it in a way that the role could only be performed by someone like me who didn't stand out much.

No one had especially wanted to be the detective, so that was going to be my role, and then I figured I should have two detectives solving the same case. The other one would be a distraction to lead the audience astray. He would be loud, aggressive and boisterous and the narrative would support the assumption that he was the main character. His name was Mr. Forrest. And he was played by our most charismatic and talented actor. So while this flamboyant detective would be thinking out loud, explicitly solving the case, and engaging the audience, my character, Cherry, would be working in the background and having her own differing opinions, but they would be seemingly debunked by the other detective or the suspects, and the audience would think Cherry was too boring of a character to be important, since she was mostly just organizing stuff in the background (but of course all of those things were actually clues to the case) However, Mr. Forrest would eventually turn out to have been fooled by one of the suspects, the murderer, because he was attracted to her (because I was a faithful Sherlockian) and unbiased Cherry would solve the case.

I feel like this kind of thinking perfectly illustrates why I'm a writer, not an actor, heh...

But anyway, it worked really well, the audience was never able to see through the bluff, as far as I know. (Maybe once would have been nice, that would have proved my clues as coherent if you paid enough attention but oh well.) I can't pretend my favourite part wasn't when my character finally got the spotlight at the end and I got to explain how the murder was commited and expose the murderer. I think my favourite line was from Mr. Forrest, when Cherry would pull out a flipboard on which I had sketched a drawing of how the murder was done and Mr. Forrest would say: "So, you decided to pass the time by doodling a little for your own amusement? Ridiculous!" (Probably I found it so good because the actor nailed the tone.) And then of course Cherry would basically hand his ass to him when it came to solving the crime.

One of the others also had a habit of telling the audience after the applause that no one should ever make me mad because I would have been a good murderer. I guess that was funny, definitely stroked my ego a little.

I really had the best time in high school with that group. I'll never forget how in sync I was with the girl who played Mr. Forrest. I haven't done a lot of acting, but I have done a lot of dancing so I do know something about chemistry on stage and to this day I don't think I encountered anyone who I had it better with. It felt like magic honestly. She had trouble remembering lines sometimes and every time it happened she would instinctively look at me, and then I would always be able to make her look at an object that made her remember the next line. I was usually good with remembering, but on one occasion I forgot to say one tiny sentence that was key to the mystery, without it the next parts wouldn't make any sense, but the moment was already gone, and then Mr. Forrest's actor totally saved my ass by coming up with a new impro section to one of the character's monologues on the spot, and it covered up my mistake completely. I was really impressed by that because it required so much thinking in mere seconds to spontaneously add a whole new section to the story, but that just showed how in the moment she was. We weren't normally the closest personal friends (honestly she barely remembered I existed before we started working on the play even though we did hang out in the same circle) but on stage it was like we had one brain for a moment. I really wish I would get to experience that again some day.

Anyway, I feel like this also illustrates some specific things in an analogous manner about why I feel about KnB so deeply and relate to Kuroko. Isn't it funny how this memory is about acting on stage, since that's an analogy in KnB? Sure, this is just one memory but also one that doesn't feel too personal to share, so in case anyone was curious about why I relate to Kuroko I think this is a pretty good example because it covers a few key things, I think.

Also I just like to think about these happy times, so this was a good excuse to go back there. I'm always going to love that darkness of the stage and the magical feeling it brings and how many things performative art forms can do. Even as amateurs I think we impressed people quite a lot.

Anyway... If you read this far I hope it was at least mildly entertaining.

Haha, I actually saw one of my old friends from this play today, when I completely accidentally went to a store she was working in. Hadn't seen her in at least five years. She played a suspect who was an artist with about three brain cells.

Anyway, enough rambling, good night.

#personal #memories #only kinda sorta knb related #weird for me to think how the manga did exist by then #it would just take me four more years to find it and be blown away by it

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liskantope · 1 year

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I finally got to the end of Better Call Saul a couple of weeks ago, dragging it out so that I only watched one episode a day and inserted a one-episode-a-day rewatching the entirety of Breaking Bad in-between the 9th and 10th episodes of the last season of BCS. So I've arrived a little late to this party, but here are a few scattered thoughts.

[Major spoilers for the ending of the series under the cut.]

For the most part, people around me were pretty good about not spoiling much about the ending even though I didn't announce to anyone that I was drawing out my watching until months after the final episode actually came out (it helps that, while a very popular show, BCS isn't quite at the level of Game of Thrones about which everyone had to post some kind of vague reaction on Facebook after each episode.) I did see someone on Tumblr write "poor Jimmy" and saw a few YouTube videos pop up which were discussions of the BCS ending and which showed the main character standing behind bars, so I had an idea that things weren't going to go well for Jimmy/Saul/Gene, that he was about to get his comeuppance and almost certainly wind up in prison. This hadn't fully occurred to me as an ending for Jimmy but at the same time somehow didn't actually feel like a major spoiler or a huge shock. The Breaking Bad finale was widely praised (and occasionally criticized) for leaving each character exactly in the place it felt like they were meant to be, and I knew that if BCS reprised this trend, well, prison (as opposed to death, or further sunk into a life of crime) is pretty obviously exactly where Jimmy/Saul belongs.

There's something that felt a little underwhelming for me about the last four episodes of BCS, taking place in the post- Breaking Bad black-and-white timeline, a sort of new simplicity to the story and a restriction in the creative possibilities for how everything would be wrapped up. This is understandable given that Howard is now gone, and between S6E9 and S6E10 of BCS, most of the interesting characters (including Mike, Gus, and the remaining Salamancas) meet their fates, and we're left really with only Kim as a character in Gene's life (or actually, no longer in it until he eventually manages to draw her back). I'm not sure what more the writers could have done; I certainly don't have any better idea. But something about the final part of the story pales in comparison to the intricate and meticulously-crafted ending for Walter White and the complex array of characters around him.

The ending of Jimmy's character arc can be summarized as follows: anti-hero gets in major trouble one final time; anti-hero displays the amazing powers that made him so enjoyable to watch, enabling him to come out victorious (i.e. Saul uses his arguing power to get his sentence down to 7.5 years); anti-hero redeems himself by surrendering anyway. This is satisfying in terms of watching Jimmy wind up where we want him to end up, but less so in terms of keeping us at the edge of our seats watching a less trodden-on path unfold for our anti-hero. I'll just say that it feels like this type of path has been done quite a bit before, although the only example that comes to mind right now is Luke Skywalker, hardly even an anti-hero, showing us that he's attained enough skill with the Force to defeat Darth Vader in battle but then giving himself up to the mercy of Vader and the Emperor -- we get to have our cake and eat it too, by seeing Luke demonstrate being a total badass but then morally rising above it so that the good in him ultimately triumphs.

In the case of Jimmy, I found it slightly predictable (I knew something was up as soon as he declared that he had something much juicier to testify to about Howard Hamlin's death, and I guessed that maybe somehow he was setting things up to flip things around by redeeming himself), and I wish there had been some kind of bigger, cleverer, more elaborate set-up where we might have a concrete idea of Jimmy being up to something even more evil to get himself out of even the reduced sentence, only to find that we the audience were tricked. It also came across, in some aspects of the dialog, that Jimmy was confessing mainly just to impress Kim, or to get her back in his life and on his side, which doesn't feel quite like true redemption (although shouldn't having good people in our life and on our side be something each of us value highly as part of a virtuous life? One can still argue that).

My biggest criticism of the last season has to do with Jimmy's final transformation into Saul just before the old timeline breaks and the Breaking Bad timeline begins: in Episode 9, I just really didn't like how abruptly we switched from Jimmy/Saul pleading with Kim not to break up with him to full-on-Saul in full Saul mode. It felt like one moment he's protesting that Kim shouldn't break up with him and then next moment he's paying a hooker. I wanted to watch that final stage of the transformation happen -- Kim was the main thing tying Jimmy to humanity, the face of the best side of Jimmy's character, and it was more or less literally stated (in the Season 5 desert sequence) that she was the only thing he lived for. So we should have gotten to see how utterly broken Jimmy must have been with her gone and exactly how this led him slipping down a path to becoming completely heartless and soulless later on. Instead we cut straight from very-corrupted-but-still-basically-human-and-a-protagonist Jimmy to completely-empty-and-unlikable Saul with literally nothing given to us in between, leaving me to have to speculate on what Jimmy went through in the wake of the break-up and to infer what made him go from man to zombie.

This bothered me a lot after watching Episode 9 and, months later when I went back and watched the final four episodes, I was glad to see that this was very briefly addressed by Jimmy's confession in the final episode: "I'm the one who ran away", although I needed to see that scene a second time to understand in this line he was referring to his choice to sink blindly into his Saul persona at the end of Episode 9. Vince Gilligan also explained it very well at this point in this linked interview. But I think we should have gotten to see it for ourselves, to acutely feel his pain and emptiness. It's arguably the single most important, pivotal point in his transformation, even more significant than losing his brother, and I still hate that it was completely skipped over.

Another minor point: when a fictional character has a change of heart, I'm used to being able to directly see the moment when this change occurs; maybe I missed something and just need to re-watch, but in the finale of BCS I'm just not clear on when this happens (is it when Jimmy/Saul is on the plane, between the two conversations with his lawyer about Kim and Howard?).

But, while I can criticize as much as I like, it was still a great ending to a great show. I don't think I'll ever quite fall into the "Breaking Bad was the best TV show ever made, but Better Call Saul turned out to be even better!" camp, but BCS sure did manage to hold its own.

#better call saul #spoilers cw #breaking bad #star wars #redemption arc

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shinxeysartgallery · 2 years

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You can’t tell me you’re not still taking requests when all your request screenshots say 1 min or 1 hour ago. That’s some bullshit. If you didn’t want to do the request, just say so; don’t lie to me.

My dude I already had slots filled out a bit over a month ago, as you can see by this post here where I announced it. I asked for requests in mid-September because I estimated that it would take me around two weeks to get 31 requests due to how small my blog is and it wound up filling up a lot faster than I anticipated. They've been full for quite some time now.

As for why the screenshots only say "1 minute ago"/"1 hour ago", that's because I screenshotted the requests as I got them so it would be easier for me to keep track of how many I received. I still haven't cleaned out my ask box because I'm lazy, so I can actually provide proof of that with dates:

Not all of my requests, obviously, but some random examples. You'll notice they're all dated in mid-September, as that's the true date of when I received them.

I never did lie to you about not having any open slots. Sorry I made you feel like I did because I didn't honor your request, but that's how things are. I said in my original post that I was only doing the first 31 requests I got (minus any duplicates) and I wouldn't be honoring any requests after those 31, so you should've sent in a request sooner than almost the end of the challenge if you wanted one done.

I do plan on doing more stuff like this in the future (when exactly, I have no idea), so you can try again then if you want. I won't be doing another thing with requests like this before the end of the year though, so I get not wanting to wait that long, too. Don't really know what to tell you other than to keep an eye out. I might not be doing any more requests like this before January, but that doesn't mean that nobody else will, either. (And this also isn't an announcement for a January drawing thing, either. lol)

#anon ask #shinxey's asks #OctoberPaletteChallenge #tagging that in case someone else is thinking the same thing #you snooze you lose #should've sent in a request before now #why did you wait this long if you wanted one #smh

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auntie-goose · 2 years

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I Have Accidentally Made Myself a Video Game

So I'm getting back into sewing because I need more professional clothing for my job and school and using fabric and patterns that I already have is cheaper than buying premade garments. I have the tools, the skills, and the incentive to make again, so I am, the thing is...

The first pattern I was intending to make is too small for me. It was a hand-me-down from someone that I got years ago so it wasn't that surprising. It's a really great design (exactly what I'm looking for) but the version I have only has 3 different sizes and they're. All. Too. Small. Plus, the pattern is out of print so I couldn't even go out and buy the version I need.

Thankful, on the back of most patterns there is a size guide with measurements and correlating sizes (for all sizes not just those in the pattern package), which means I can see how much bigger I would need to make it. Also, since my pattern had 3 sizes and the increase from size to size was the same, I could just measure the increase between the sizes on the pattern pieces and multiply by however many sizes up I was. It didn't even fluctuate much because it was a skirt, so I just pinned the pieces, took a pattern marker and a measuring tape, and drew my extended edges. Simple. Also, the I have 10+ yards of the fabric I'm using (also a hand-me-down) so if I messed up my math, I can recalculate and try again.

Since things were going pretty smoothly (for having such a big hurdle) I decided to plan out my next garment (I want to check to see if the pieces will fit since the fabric is much smaller and is patterned in a way that I can't manipulate my placement too much) while I waited to be able to sew the first one up.

A while ago I got a box full of vintage patterns for free from a rummage sale I was working at (score!) so I thought, what better time to break them out. Sadly, most of the patterns aren't in my size (which is one of the reasons I'd been avoiding them), but now I know how to size things up. But would you look at that, these vintage patterns only have one size per package unlike my previous project which is only from the 90's. that means there's no more hand holding, now I have to do my math without the aid.

Thankfully, the sizing chart on this old pattern (from the same brand) isn't that far off from the modern one, they're almost a one-to-one except the waist is a little smaller (there could be something to comment on here but clearly they've changes their sizes so who cares, also it's actually closer to my proportions so it's a win for me), which means I can probably use the same increase I did for the skirt (especially because the size of the vintage one is in the sizes for the 90's one). I don't have the guide as to where to increase but I know enough about patterns (and have others I can reference) to figure it out.

My confidence is growing (though I haven't even started sewing anything yet) so I look at a dress that I wanted to make out of two different patterns. I really liked the body of one but preferred the sleeves of another. I wouldn't be that hard of a patch and my grandma (who taught me how to sew and was offering any assistance I wanted) said that she did this all the time in the past and said it was a great idea. So I'm feeling great and open the dress pattern to find the tissue missing. You know, the tissue? the stuff the pattern pieces are printed on? I was planning on cutting them out while watching some TV (a great way to keep my ADHD hands busy), but there's no tissue to cut. The instructions are there, with the little pictures of what each piece looks like, but that's all I got.

This means that I will have to: a) find the missing pieces, and in the event that I don't find them b) use other patterns to get a similar affect (not my favorite option), or c) using those other patterns and the illustrations from the instructions of the one I want to draw up the pattern myself.

I feel like I've hit hard mode.

#and I still haven't sewn a thing yet #what's next?#designing my own pattern from scratch?#sewing #crafting #video games #personal life #aaaaaaaa

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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 3 years

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Appointment Scheduled

Summary- 2.7k Ransom Drysdale x Reader. Since that night at your parents, you haven't been to see Ransom. Not that he wasn't always on your mind. But you continue to defend your 'FWB' term that is all he is. Ransom gets tired of receiving physical silence from you.

So he made himself an appointment.

Warnings- somewhat mad mean Ransom, reader in denial of her feelings, some in the office over the desk sex. This is a cheater fic, the reader is cheating on her boyfriend and Ransom is encouraging this. Please if this bothers you, do not read it.

A/N- another self-indulgent fic featuring these two? Yes please, it's what I wanted, so it's what I wrote. As always, thank you for reading, comments and reblogging. You all have to thank @sagechanoafterdark for Ellie showing up in the story. We were talking that the reader needs a best friend who is like "Duh, you two are meant to be, it is so obvious." to our reader.

Masterlist

“Ellie no I haven't seen him since my dad's birthday party. I mean a few messages here and there, but nothing more about meeting up.”

You hear your best friend scoff on the other line. She was your confidante, your tried and true, better or worse, the bitch who will help you bury the body friend.

She also lacked sugar coating anything.

“Well, you two are just dumb. One of you has to open that line of conversation, might as well be you.”

You hit the button to the lift, sighing into the phone as you watched the numbers ding. “I don’t know what conversation you are talking about El.”

“Uh, the one where you two have been in love with each other since basically middle school? The one where whenever you feel lonely, that's the man you call? Or how about the one how he runs to you whenever you even put out a HINT that you might need him? That one Y/N.”

“We are just fuck buddies-”

“Really good, rock your world, the best sex and head you’ve ever gotten, buddy. Right?” Ellie’s tone is dripping with sarcasm now and you pinch your nose in aggravation while stepping onto the elevator.

“Exactly like that.” You go a bit quiet. “Listen, I’m at work, so talk later, okay?”

“Sure, I miss you. I wish you would move back to the city.” Ellie softened her tone a bit. “Girls weekend soon? I love you.”

“I love you too and of course!” You hit the end button and stuff it in your bag, staying quiet the rest of the ride up.

Working as a lawyer's assistant wasn’t too bad. Although it's often said couples shouldn't work together, you hardly saw Neil while you were there. He was usually in some kind of pissing match with another DA in the building, which made for some interesting rants from him when he got home.

You dutifully listened, but with little interest. They got old and boring, which was how you were feeling in this ‘safe relationship.’

Really you felt something must be fucked up with you. Neil was a good guy, supportive, he didn't have much of a jealous streak, although you wished once in a while he would get a bit riled up about when someone was checking you out when the two of you went out for a date night. Everything was stable in your relationship, aside from the fact you basically were away to Ransom's bed any chance you could.

Then there was Ransom. The man you were able to actually swear yourself off from two years straight and got your life in order.

So you thought. It took one drink and conversation to fall back to where you two were two years ago. Only this time you found him missing him while you were away, thinking about him more.

You opened your office door and propped it open for your boss's clients to come inside and wait, your boss's door opened on the other side. Shaking off your over-the-top feelings going on, you went to pour Johanna's coffee and grab the files for today's cases. She was on the phone, so you just set them down with a small wave of your hand and settled behind the desk to get started transferring her notes into the system.

Ransom though was never far from your mind when you gave your cell the occasional glance.

Lunchtime approached which meant you would meet up with Neil and head to the small cafe on the corner. He would ask you about your work, you would ask him about his. There would be pleasantries shared. You sighed once more to yourself at the thought of it.

Johanna closed her door with a sudden click. You jumped a bit in surprise as she shouldered her handbag. “You okay Dear?” The woman asked kindly and you smiled, brushing it off.

“Caught up in these files.”

“Ah, yes there is a lot with this case. Sorry about all the extra notes. I know it's a tad boring. But take your break, stay out with Neil a little extra. It's a nice day and you've earned it.” She smiled kindly.

“I will be sure to, maybe Neil and I can breeze around the park before returning.” Fat chance… you thought as you smiled kindly at your boss as she took her leave. You picked at your cell phone, working your lip about to message Neil that you would meet him when a rather loud distinctive tone filled the entryway to your and Johanna's office.

“I have a meeting lined up with Johanna Klein, if you could let her assistant know that Ransom Drysdale is here to see her.”

Dropping your cell phone, forgetting about Neil, you rise out of your seat and go to your door, peering out. Ransom is leaning against the desk to the receptionists of the lawyer's offices explaining how it was your lunchtime and you were out of the building.

Ransom’s voice was about to release, you could see him drawing in the air to make himself a bit more imposing at the idea that he wasn’t allowed to see you when his icy orbs lifted from the receptionist to you, a perfect smirk crossing those pale pink lips that could be so soft at the moment while dropping venom just as easily. “She looks like she is available to me.”

The receptionist spun her chair to see you in the doorway. “It’s okay, Johanna booked him as the last one this morning.” You lied while Ransom made his way around the desk to enter your office. The receptionist looked like she was about to say something more when you quickly clicked the door closed and pulled the shade over the frosted glass to keep from anyone seeing the two of you in there.

“What are you doing here Ransom?” You ask yet again, while he was leaning against the desk with his arms folded over his chest.

“I have an appointment. Seems it's the only way to properly see you again.” He pushed up the sleeves of his long sleeves over muscled forearms. You being you, was absolutely unable to take your eyes off that action.

“Well, I’ve been busy and you never made mention of it again.”

“Kitten…” His tone lowered with a warning. “I didn't think I had to imply that you could come over whenever. But if I'm going to have to do it this way from now on.” He pushed off the desk to stalk the small space to you. “Guess that's what I will do. Book my appointments between-” a slight snarl darkened his face, the crease between his eyes deepening as his hand rested in your lower back and pushed you closer to him.

Overwhelmingly closer. His muscles through the shirt flexed under your hands coming to rest on his pecs and his cologne made your mouth water with the familiarity. The scent of bergamot and cedar gave an almost smoky scent, a touch of sweetness with vanilla had you inching closer to Ransom. “- your time with Neil.”

Your eyes flashed angrily at him then, pulling back a bit in his hold. “What does it matter to you, Ransom?”

“It doesn't. Like I told you before Kitten, you and I will never be over.”

“Feels a lot like jealousy to me then.” You spat a bit. “Since we're just this.” You shrugged a bit, now your temper is getting the best of you. “What was it that Ellie said to me this morning. Fuck buddies.”

“Your term, not mine Kitten.” Ransom yanked you in close again, this time his kiss was a lot different than that night in your bedroom. It was harsh and demanding, forcing you to open your mouth to him and swallow his passion. “You know fucking Neil is skating on thin ice, keeping you all the time.” He shoved you roughly against your desk, your hands flying to the paperwork you were working on before and it went flying for the most part. Some of it fisted in your hand as your ass arched out and pressed against Ransom's groin, making you hiss when he jerked your hips further back.

“Neil is technically my-” You started when a hand slapped over your mouth, fingers digging into your cheeks roughly.

All of it was turning you on, making your thighs squeeze together and you breathe harshly through your nose the more excited you got. “Don’t say it Kitten. Not right now, this is my time. Remember. I made an appointment.”

You felt your skirt get rucked up around your hips and Ransom leaned over, his chest pressing into your back as he flushed hot kisses on your neck, a yank to your shirt dragged your shirt over your shoulder. It wasn't gentle kisses, it was deep leave his mark there that was making you tilt your head and push back into him once more while he fumbled with his own pants to yank them open.

“Yes, yes your appointment. Did you miss this pussy?” You purred, mimicking the nickname you had earned. His fingers pushed aside the bit of cotton that was now sticky clinging to your folds and he stroked you with precision, spreading your slick all around till he swirled a finger against your clit.

“Enough to come searching your ass out.” He remarked when you felt his cock take over where his fingers were, thicker, velvet hardness in your soft folds make you mewl while gripping your desk's edge.

It was the right call, as soon as Ransom felt you start to take him, he pressed harder. Making you both hiss, your head falling against your desk as he stretched you open, his cock filling you quickly. His teeth sunk into your shoulder, registering the sting of it when he rutted into you, slamming your hips into the desk suddenly. “Fuck Ransom,” You hissed out and bit your lip to stifle a moan.

“This perfect round ass that is so fuckable.” His hand came against a cheek while his hips slammed into you steadily. Jerking you on the desk. But it all felt so good, the stink of the slap making you tighten around his cock while you gave a yelp in protest.

Again his hand came around your mouth, stuffing fingers in your mouth which you wrapped your lips around and sucked on them, making your eyes roll when you tasted yourself on them. “Shut it Kitten, suck yourself off me like a good girl while I fill this perfect cunt.” Ransom snapped his teeth near your ear. You moaned, trying to confirm that you would, you would do just as he said while he fucked you harshly from behind.

It clouded your mind, forgetting everything you had been stressed about all morning. Ransom's cock pounded into your wanting body like it was all you ever needed. Your smooth walls flexed around him, tightening till you felt the throbbing ridges that dragged and pulled through you.

It wasn't just his cock driving you mindless. It was the grunted words in your ear. “Perfect little clock slut, Kitten you love getting fucked on your desk don’t you?” He hissed in your ear as another drive made you moan incoherent at him. “Just so cock drunk slut, who is too stupid to answer me.” A tongue was dragged on your tongue, kisses right at the hinge of your jaw made you whine and press back against him. He knew that it drove you crazy to feel the flush of his lips along your neck, driving you mindless. “Just my sweet little Kitten taking it so well.”

All you could do was mewl around his fingers stuffed in your mouth, drool escaping from the corners of your stretched lips and dribbling on the paperwork you had crumpled in your fists. Your chest pressed harshly against the desk, making you wheeze under Ransom’s weight. It was smothering, him all over caging you against the furniture, pumping his cock harshly into your core and your mouth stuffed with his fingers keeping you quiet.

It was too much and not enough, cause you still weren't quite there. The heat burned in your belly, wanting to implode you into oblivion. Ransom gritted his teeth as he wedged a hand under you, fingers feeling for your throbbing clit that ached for his touch.

The roll of his fingers made you moan at the tension. The rush made your spine snap and fight against Ransom, which he felt as you squealed in protest, his teeth snapping near you while he sputtered.

“Just fucking cum Kitten, then you can relax. Your boss will be back any time now.” Nearby you glanced at your phone that somehow was still on the table, the time wavering in your sight, as well as some ‘Where are you?’ texts from Neil.

Ransom wanted you to relax and cum, which is what you wanted as well. The numbing release was right there with his help and you let go. The wave was mind blanking. You sagged under Ransom, and he tightened his hold on you as he used you. But you were in bliss as he grunted over you, hot shots of cum filling you while he sagged in relief against you.

Jerks of his cock still quivered your sensitive walls as he took a few last slow pumps into you before he plated his hands against your messy desk and pulled himself up, pulling out of your messy cunt.

“Gonna have to go the rest of the day like that Kitten.” He chuckled as he straightened your panties back in place and pulled your skirt down over your ass. His hand went around your waist and he helped guide you back to a stand to face him. Brushes of his thumbs over your face was an attempt to fix your makeup which made you wince while you rubbed the drool from your chin.

“How bad is it?”

Ransom winced when you asked. “Pretty bad… looks like you've been crying… or got properly fucked. Take your pick.” He said as his hands dropped to pull his pants back in place and zip them back up, the button going back through the loop.

It was unfair that Ransom didn't get completely ruined like you did when this sort of thing happened. You rushed around your desk to grab some wet wipes to wipe the smudged lipstick and mascara off.

‘You know… I never have this problem with Neil.” You muttered and Ransom snapped back as he watched you, leaning down to pick up some of the papers that fell and shuffle them together while you did a quick reapplication so no one would question it.

“Kitten, obviously the man isn't fucking you right then.” A smirk flashed up at you as he handed you your papers and you were quick to tuck them away.

You broke into a small dirty smile, a roll of your eyes playing with him. “Well… you are correct in that Ransom. Now split, Johanna will be back soon.”

“Nope." A pop of the p that made you huff at him. "I have an appointment Y/N.” He swept down into a seat just as Johanna clicked open the door and stepped back in.

“Y/N, did you have a good lunch? I didn’t expect to see you back so soon. But I was told my next client is here.” She glanced towards the corner of the room where Ransom was picking at his sweater. “Mr. Drysdale, come on in with me, please? We will get started.” She smiled warmly as she went around your desk to let herself into her office, Ransom moving to a stand with a chipper.

“Absolutely, thrilled to get started. Y/N here has been a perfect host in the meantime.” He winked at you with a light brush of his fingers along your arm before disappearing into Johanna’s office, the door shutting behind them.

You could only begin to guess what Ransom was up to coming all the way here. Which you would find out later, either from Ransom or Johanna.

Right now you had to deal with standing up Neil, which when you picked up your phone, chewing your lip that you still could taste yourself on from Ransom’s fingers, you read the message.

Y/N, where are you? I have been waiting for an hour for you.

You started to text out your lie of an excuse hoping that this wouldn't be the day it would all blow up in your face.

#ransom drysdale au #ransom drysdale and reader #ransom drysdale x kitten #ransom drysdale fan fiction #knives out au #knives out fanfiction #ransom drysdale x you #ransom drysdale x y/n #amber writes #sweater writes #chris evans characters #chris evans characters fanfiction #tw cheating fic

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mdverse · 2 years

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What are some of your favourite Glee ships and why? I'm thinking like... top five? Or more if you feel like it :)

ooh this is a fun one because anything after my top ship can and will change at the drop of a hat lmao

1: brittana

hopefully this will come as a shock to no one aksdjhfsk,,, brittana is actually a ship i found out about before i watched glee. like i would see all of these compilations on youtube of glee moments out of context, and idk how exactly but it led to seeing clips of brittana. i remember being salty bc some of my friends at the time had seen glee and not a single one of them told me that there was a wlw relationship i would've liked lol.

but yeah there's just something really compelling about getting to see these two girls who start out as background characters with funny one-liners grow into an actual couple that gets happily married in the end. especially because i don't remember really seeing any wlw relationships get any kind of focus or open acknowledgement before brittana? at least not any relationships that lasted more than a couple of episodes? and maybe i just wasn't watching the right shows bc i only started watching glee less than 2 years ago lol but their development on the show, while very flawed thanks to the writers, was just super special for me. and it still is. i have a lot of love for them and even though i haven't drawn much brittana lately, i'd like to think that my love for them shows in some of my older art :)

also? wanting to draw brittana is what got me out of months-long art block and depressive episode where i just did not have any inspiration or motivation to draw anything, and it quickly became the catalyst for so much of the artistic growth i've made over the past almost 2 years. idk if that means much to u guys but to me it really means the world and i don't think i even have the words to explain it asksdhfk i just. i love them a lot.

2: hevans

ok listen to be completely honest, i don't think about hevans that much but once in a while i think about s2 hevans and how that would've been so nice? like,,, s2 sam was so refreshing because he arrived at a time where i was used to seeing the glee boys (finn and puck in particular) being like "oh we get called gay for being in glee club and associating with kurt, a gay kid :( and that's bad :( we don't like the idea of being seen as gay :(" and sam just did not care. he didn't care that singing a duet with another guy might be seen as weird, he didn't care that he might get bullied for it, he just cared that kurt had a lovely voice and he wasn't gonna go back on his promise to sing with kurt. and then we got rumours and kurt not even hesitating to keep sam's secret, even though his friends immediately accused him of cheating on blaine. idk hevans just had this bond in s2 that wasn't explored enough after that, and then sam was dumbed down in s4 and onwards and ugh i miss s2 sam goddammit fuck the writers for turning him into whatever the fuck we got in s4-6

also hevans makes me consider an artist!sam x model!kurt au? like when i drew kurt as the boy with a basket of fruits i could picture sam being a painter and having kurt as his model/inspiration, and i have a second very unfinished wip based on another painting in the same vein. lowkey veering into a picture of dorian grey moment now lol but is that not compelling??? i can't believe i only thought of that just now aksdjhf i love that book,,, also there's yet another painting i'd like to redraw as hevans but who knows when i'll get around to it

3: quinntina

i don't think the writers were ever gonna give us quinntina and idk if there are even many quinntina moments in the show aside from like,,, teeny tiny background moments here and there. also the show butchered them both so i'm not basing this ship in canon at all. i just think they would have an interesting dynamic i guess? popular girl quinn fabray and shy tina cohen-chang possibly wishing they could switch positions for a while because quinn is exhausted from all the pressure she puts on herself and tina wonders what it would be like to be in the spotlight? slowly bonding in glee club because tina realises quinn isn't the bitch tina assumed she'd be, and quinn finds it refreshing to be around a sweetheart like tina? indulging each other's dramatic moments but also keeping each other grounded? the mental image of tina helping quinn dye her hair pink? that time in s6 where we got half a quinntina duet in jagged little tapestry, which for the record, i think would've been a mashup of so far away and ironic? (also, vb au quinntina sharing the brain cells of the friend group?) idk i think it would've been nice and i am once again cursing the writers

4: wildebrams

i don't have much of an actual explanation as to why i like wildebrams because it feels like i haven't seen s4-5 in forever, but iirc their relationship allowed us to see a much softer side to kitty and i really loved that. like,,, kitty being nervous about committing to a relationship but then opening up to the glee club about her feelings for artie? wholesome shit i love it

i can't think of anymore ships rn because i'm not deeply invested in any ships besides brittana but this feels like a solid mini list. i feel like im forgetting a lot of the big ones so feel free to specify any other ships you'd like me to talk about :)

#ask md #backslashdelta #glee thoughts n opinions #brittana #hevans #quinntina #wildebrams #also honourable mentions to the following ships for piquing my interest a bit:#puckurt; partie; quinncedes; marlique; quinntana; potentially others i can't remember rn #oh and kelliott #thank u for the ask bella! twas fun to think about :)

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youbloodymadgenius · 3 years

Text

Ivarello (Modern!Ivar x reader) Chapter 1

Moodboard by @quantumlocked310

Ivarello’s masterpost here

A/N: This is my entry for @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie 500 Followers Fairy Tale Challenge. It's a retelling of Cinderella. Congrats again, darling 💖

A huge thank you to @mrsalwayswrite, who's a great beta reader and an even greater cheerleader 😂

A massive thank you to @quantumlocked310, @vikingstrash and @serasvictoria. Thank you for agreeing to collaborate and for sharing your talent with me. Your moodboards are beyond amazing 🤩

In this story, Sigurd is alive. Ragnar and Aslaug are dead, but Lagertha didn't kill her. I took a lot of liberties with the show, I hope you won't mind.

Unlike the tale, there will be no magic involved. Not everything will be realistic, however. It's a fayritale, after all!

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Summary: Orphaned five years ago, Ivar and his brothers have been living with Lagertha ever since. Now 16 years old, he wants to attend Harald's traditional Midsummer party, but obstacles stand in his way.

Warnings: description of car crash; orphaned kids; Sigurd being Sigurd; OOC characters.

Words: 1806

Additional note: I'm afraid I'll disappoint some of you. No more newspapers... The articles defined the setting of the story. From now on, it'll be a regular fic.

Hope you enjoy it nevertheless 🙂

��⚔️🛡

June 2021

Ivar yawns, rubbing his eyes, when he suddenly hears the front door open. The next moment, Ubbe shouts, "Hey baby bro, we're home!"

Slightly confused, Ivar looks at the time on his computer. Stunned, he blinks repeatedly, shakes his head and checks the time again, now looking at his watch. "Guess I lost track of time," he mumbles as he realizes it's really 5:30 pm. He clears his throat. "I'm coming!"

Yawning once more, he wheels to the kitchen. Hvitserk waves at him with one hand as Ubbe greets him with a grin and Sigurd... Well, Sigurd ignores him, as usual.

"Hello boys!" Lagertha smiles as she also enters the kitchen. "Did you go to the beach this afternoon?" It's a rethorical question, since sand can be seen on the tanned skin of his brothers, shirtless and wearing only swimming shorts.

When she looks down at him, her smile becomes softer. "Ivar, you seem tired. Did you work all day long?"

He nods, glad that for once she called him by his first name and not by one of those stupid nicknames that she likes but that make his skin crawl.

"Yep," he shrugs without smiling back, "I made good progress. The new version of your website is almost done. It could probably be online by the end of the week."

His stepmom flashes him a beaming smile. "Great, thanks!"

The conversation then moves on to the subject that everyone in Kattegat has been talking about for the last few days: the midsummer party thrown by their neighbor Harald Hårfager. Every June, it is Kattegat's not-to-be-missed event, to which every resident hopes to be invited.

Lagertha is invited every year, yet rarely attends; his brothers wouldn't miss it, not in a million years; Ivar never went.

He listens with half an ear as his brothers prattle on about the upcoming party, while taking a seat at the large, wooden kitchen table on which Lagertha has just put cakes and drinks.

"What are you going to wear?"

"Do you think Marit will attend this year?"

"Hopefully the music will be better than last year."

"Can't be as bad! What was the name of that reggae band?"

For a fleeting moment, Ivar entertains the thought of attending as well. Not that he's dying to, but… Sometimes, he feels a little bit like Cinderella in this house.

Don't get him wrong, it's not that bad.

First, his stepmom is not–

Wait, wait, wait, is Lagertha technically his stepmom? He's not sure. After all, she wasn't when his parents were alive, she was just his father's first wife. Anyway, she may be his guardian now, but he sees her as his stepmom and he honestly doesn’t give a shit if it's a little weird.

Where was he? Oh yes, Cinderella.

So obviously, Lagertha is not a wicked, haughty and abusive stepmom like this Lady Tremaine of the fairytale.

Actually, even if it pisses him off to admit it, she's pretty nice, patient and composed. Does he love her? Let's not exaggerate – he doesn't. She may love him though, which is a little bit uncanny, if he's being honest. He was the favorite son of her nemesis. Shouldn't she hate him? He would, if the situation was reversed.

The truth is, when he was younger, he tried, he really tried to hate her, blaming her for everything and anything. When too much pain prevented him from sleeping, he let his imagination run wild. There, bound to his bed of suffering, he could see Lagertha cutting the brakes on his mother's car, causing her crash, causing her death.

Of course, even then, he knew deep down that Lagertha had not killed his mother; that the story he told himself was just the product of his endless nights of insomnia. But what can he say? He needed this. Because blaming Lagertha rather than admitting that his beloved mother was at fault – by being distracted, or by falling asleep, he'll never know – was easier for the heartbroken boy he was.

Anyway... So yes, Lagertha is definitely not an evil stepmother like Cinderella's.

Also, he doesn't sleep on a sorry garret, on a wretched straw bed either.

Actually, he has a very large room on the main floor, with a king-size memory foam bed, a walk-in – well, a wheel-in for his case – closet and his own, huge bathroom, fully equipped for his special needs.

Sure, the bathroom and the dressing room were already there when his parents were alive; however, the memory foam mattress had been Lagertha's idea.

Anyway... So yes, he can't exactly complain about his sleeping conditions, unlike Cinderella.

And obviously, he's not forced into servitude.

Actually, one might think so, but no, he's not. Sure, sometimes he works for his stepmom, like today. But so do his brothers. When she had taken them in, she was a powerful businesswoman, working twelve to fourteen hours a day. Once she had become their guardian, she had rearranged her working time and learned to delegate; but even so, she had often run out of time. Therefore, it had seemed normal to them – yes, even to him – to help her out, each of them according to their skills and abilities.

So, while Hvitserk almost always does the grocery shopping, while Sigurd vacuums and does the laundry, while Ubbe mows the lawn and trim the bushes, he, Ivar, runs her company's website and sometimes even does the accounting. And since he loves computers and numbers, it's not exactly a problem.

Anyway... So yes, he's not a slave in this house. Unlike Cinderella.

So, yes, to sum it up, he can't really complain and he's by far not Cinderella. And he knows it.

But... Yes, there's a but...

Sometimes, he feels trapped, as poor Cinderella must have felt.

Sometimes he feels like a spectator of a life he doesn't belong to.

Sure, he doesn't have to be homeschooled – but gods, he's glad he is. The reasons for him to be continuously bullied by classmates are endless. The simplest ones being: he is a cripple, an orphan, the son of a dead mob boss, the smartest one in the whole damn school, let alone his class. Take your pick. It's no fun, no fun at all. Being home alone is preferable to that alternative.

Therefore, barely leaving the house except for medical appointments, he has no friends. He doesn't do sports either – obviously – and yeah, he lives a lonely life, filled with video games and Netflix series. And he's okay with that. Well, most of the time.

Sure, his brothers, or at least Ubbe and Hvitserk, always try to include him as much as possible. But the truth is that because of his legs, there are many, many things he just can't do.

And the other truth, the less pleasant one, is that he partially did that to himself. He cut himself off from a world that hurt him, yet he still misses this world sometimes. At times, he blames himself. Because his life, honestly, is hardly what you would call a life, is it? Not when you're sixteen.

That's why sometimes, like now, he feels this longing, almost a need, to live. To really, truly, fully live. And that's why, for a brief moment, lulled by the light chitchat of his brothers, he considers attending Harald's midsummer party.

But he knows better. This life is not for him, never has been, never will be.

And so, shaking his head, he chases the thought away and, placing his hands on his push rims, he's about to leave the kitchen while the incessant babbling of his brothers goes on.

"I can't wait."

"Don't tell me! As every year, the most beautiful girls of Kattegat will be there."

"Remember that burger food truck? Best burgers ever!"

"I've heard Y/N would be attending this year."

"There'll be booze and girls! Sounds like Valh–"

Wait. His mind goes blank.

Fuck.

What? Did he hear right?

As he replays his brother's words in his head, it's like there's an earthquake happening inside of him.

Fuck.

He stops breathing. Blinks, then clamps his eyes shut.

Fuck.

When he finally manages to draw air into his lungs, he swallows loudly before asking in a weird, high-pitched voice, his heart pounding in his chest, "What– What did you say, brother?"

Hvitserk turns his head toward him and shrugs. "I just said there'll be boo–"

"No, not you!" Ivar snaps at his brother, pointing his pointer finger at Ubbe. "You, what did you fucking say?" Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Lagertha frowning – 'no curse words in this house, boys'– and even if he barely contains an eye roll, he still mouths a quick 'sorry' at her before rewording his question, impatience coursing through him. "What did you say, dear brother? Who did you say would attend?"

Stunned, Ubbe looks at him with wide eyes. "Y/N? I said Y/N would come. That's what I heard anyway. She's Harald's niece. She was here once, right? Remember her, baby bro, huh?"

But Ivar is no longer listening, the blood draining from his face. Y/N... Y/N... Fuck. Finally. Fucking finally. After so long... He may see you again. Wow.

I'll go! I'll fucking go!

He barely contains the words, suddenly acutely aware of the deafening silence in the room, his brothers shamelessly staring at him.

With her brows furrowed and her lips turned downward in a slight frown, Lagertha takes two steps forwards before crouching down in front of him. "Are you all right, sweetie? You're a little pale."

He barely hears when Sigurd giggles, "A little pale? He's greener than an alien!"

Lagertha shoots Sigurd a dirty look and then gently cups Ivar's cheek. "Do you know her, Ivar? Do you know Y/N?"

Overwhelmed, self-conscious, freaked out, caught off-guard, he doesn't know how to respond. Should he tell the truth? Should he lie? His brothers will mock him, for sure. What is the point of telling the truth? What good would it do? On the other hand, he could really use some advice. Yeah. Sure. Advice from Sigurd. Just the thought of it is enough to make him sick. Fuck, what is he going to do?

Rushed words are out of his mouth before he can even gather his thoughts. "No. No. I don't. I mean, yes, I think I do but–" He's being pathetic and he hates it. So after a sharp intake of breath, he shakes his head and eventually replies in a flat, calm voice, the white lie rolling off his tongue. "I know her, but I thought Ubbe was talking about someone else. Sorry."

With these words, he hastily leaves the room, his eyes riveted on his knees, his heart still drumming in his chest.

Y/N. Fuck.

🛡⚔️🛡

Ivar's taglist: @waiting4inspiration @honestsycrets @lisinfleur @saldelys @gearhead66 @inforapound @readsalot73 @milkkygirls @xbellaxcarolinax @shannygoatgruff @zuxiezendler @hecohansen31 @lonewolf471 @fuckindiva @tgrrose @didiintheblog @peachyboneless @pieces-by-me @funmadnessandbadassvikings @ethereallysimple @destynelseclipsa @cocovikings23 @xceafh @mrsalwayswrite @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @pomegranates-and-blood @jadelynlace @grimeundglow @quantumlocked310 @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom

Ivarello's taglist: @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @hashimily @prepare4trouble @supernaturalvikingwhore @funmadnessandbadassvikings

#ivar #modern ivar #modern!ivar #modern-ivar #modern ivar x reader #modern!ivar x reader #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless #ivar ragnarsson #ivar imagine #ivar fic #ivar fanfic #ivar fanfiction #ivar vikings #vikings ivar #cherrypie’s500 #fairytale retelling #ivarello

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oh-for-fic-sake · 3 years

Text

Fearfull Proposal

Summary: henry plans a romantic proposal... and instead of coming clean about your secret fear of heights and ruining his romantic plan, you put on a brave face... well until your nearing the top of the london eye.

Warnings: fear, fluff, swearing, typos.

You quivered as you rose higher and higher over londons skyline.

Fuck why? Why the fuck had you got in this dangling glass death trap. A faulty few bolts and you'd be plummeting into the fucking thames!

Henry was standing by the window looking out at the glittering lights in awe.

You were standing with your back turned to the houses of Parliament hands clutching the rail eitherside of you knuckles white. Knees knocking.

God this was the stupidest thing you'd ever fucking done! And it was your own fault.

"Babe, look! God big ben looks soo small never been on this at night"

You hummed nodding but continued looking to the floor.

Henry paused when you didnt correct him with the whole 'big ben is the bell' you usually countered

He turned looking back to you and his stomach dropped.

"Babe? Whoa are you okay there love?" He asked frowning as he saw your eyes clenched shut almost as if you were in pain.

You were trembling and pale to the point he fearded youd pass out.

"Here come sit down and relax, i packed some snacks-" he said placing the specially packed bag of snacks and screw top mini wine bottles.

"No! No I'm fine... I will just stay here... By the saftey bar" you said giggling nervously sparing him a glance and patting the metal you were holding onto for dear life..

Henry faltered and really took in your apperance unsure what to do. It wasn't like he could get you off, you had to ride the ride.

"Babe? Are you scared of heights?"

"Nooo dont be sillyeee- OH MY GOD IM GONNA FUCKING DIE!" you began laughing him off then screamed as the ride stopped.

Instantly you ducked crouching whilst wrapping your arms around the silver bar shouting bloody murder.

It didn't help you were bathed in purple light so couldn't see shit.

Henry got up and rushed to you standing over you arms rounding you holding you securly.

"No, no its fine love... shh its fine baby, they said it could stop to let people on poppet remember?" He said quickly rubbing your sides as you cowered trying to fend off the temptation to look at the thames below.

"Y-yeah fuck hen- im sorry i just..." you mewled turning towards him tucking your head to his chest.

"Scared of heights huh? Why didnt you tell me?" He sighed pressing kisses to your head as you whimpered adn the ride began moving once again.

"Because you went to all this trouble, you planned this surprise and i didnt want to ruin it, you were soo excited" you sniffled blinking at him.

"Hey shh you silly girl, you should have told me. You wouldnt have ruined anything you silly sausage" he cooed winding himself around you tighter.

He was actually annoyed at himself, how the fuck had he not known his girlfriend of a year and a half was scared of heights?

He'd suspected a fear of heights when you both went on holiday for your birthday, but youd managed to convince him it was a fear of flying and planes... not heights.

And come to think of it you didnt even like the glass lifts in shopping centers, you ran to the corner and held on eyes locked onto the doors the entire time.

So this was the worst surprize he could of planned for tonight. Things weren't going to plan. Fuck.

"Babe im sorry" he apologised feeling like an asshole.

"No no dont be, this was extremly sweet bear" you said quickly not wantin to make him feel bad fpr your own short commings.

"Theres noting sweet about terrifying you"

"Do... do you want to sit down? Ill hold you the entire time" he offered peaking to the central bench where both your bags sat.

"I.. yes okay i think sitting will be better" you said then yipped as he prompty scooped you up and placed you in his lap securly.

"Im so sorry love, I just wanted to make this special and romantic" he muttered holding you as close as he could letting you know that you were safe and sound.

"It is! It is love really im just a baby" you said quickly grasping his face pulling him closer before peppering his face with kisses.

"Your not a babe we all have our fears" he said quietly pressing his forehead to yours.

"You dont" you sighed closing your eyes trying to ignore the snails pace of the pod that still rose over london.

You could barely feel it, but your fear amplified it.

"Oh but i do~" he replied peering at you, as yur eyes fluttered open.

"Like what?" The questionnescaped before you could think.

"No" he said eyes now becoming worried, anxiety clouding them.

"No?"

"Yes, at the moment thats my biggest fear" he said releasing a shakey breath as you frowned at him not following but didnt dwell as your ees darted to the side seeing the houses

"You see, i was trying to be all romantic and wait untill we got tp the top, but i think you'll be too terrified"

"Henry?" You said leaning back unsure about the serious tone he seemed to take.

"I brought us here, to the spot we met two years ago today..." he said drawing deeper breaths as the reality of what was about to happen hit him.

"Was it really?" You asked surprized he'd remember something like that. Anniversary? Definitely. But the day you first met? And asked for a selfie with a series of embarrassing squeaks? No you didnt think he'd remember.

"Yep. I remember doing a promo and shoot on this thing, then got off and was sat next to you in wagamama"

"And i squeaked for a selfie" you groaned with a small giggle.

"Im glad you did, i scanned instagram for days after- scouring my hashtag trying to find you... i kicked myself for not getting your number~"

"I still cant belive you did that... but im gld you did henry"

"Who'd have thought the nervous little thing trying not to even breath in my direction would be my girlfriend six months down the line"

"Or that we'd last this long?" You quipped at him trying to reme,ber to breath.

"And.. hopefully a lifetime? Despite me dragging you intoyour actual living nightmare- which i promise to never do again! Not even lifts"

You scowled and tilted your head to him not sure if you heard him correctly.

Untill he pulled the small velvet box from his pocket.

"Henry?! What? You cant be serious?"

"Oh but i am love, as much as i want to do this right and drop to one knee i doubt you'll thank me for releasing you?"

"Dont you dare let me go!"

"I think you'll find im trying to do the opposite~" he chuckled opening the box revealing the simple elegant ring three tiny diamonds.

"Im trying to marry you..."

You gasped eyes glazing over as you locked on to the dainty ring pinched between his fingers.

"I love you y/n, and i want to know if you'd become my wife and share your life with me. Will you marry me?"

"Oh god yes of course its a yes henry i love you bear!" You cried throwing your arms around him making him grunt and quickly clench his fist arohnd the ring before he dropped it.

He groaned into you rocking from side to side littering your head with kisses before peeling you away to sit the ring on your finger.

You looked at the glittering stones on your finger weeping. You may have been cursing yourself for getting into this godforsaken glass bauble in the sky.

But now you were he happiest woman alive.

"I love you bear"

"I love you too"

"Would you like some wine? I brough the little cute bottles you like" he offered nodding to the bag of snacks.

"Err lets not push it hun" you whined not sure wine at this altitude was a good idea.

You kept glancing at him still sniffing and giggleing unable to look from your ring for long.

"Gotcha, no wine"

"You look surprized i said yes?"you quipped needing to talk and take your mind off the fact your at the tippity top.

"I made you face one of your nightmares i thought you'd slap me silly when i ask" he scoffed pressing a kiss to your cheek unable to stop.

"Never love... but please never ever get on this thing again okay?" You pleaded fluttering your lashes at him pleading.

"I swear. Never again, but seeing as this is our one and only ride we should take a few selfies? Mark the occasion?" He said standing letting your feet hit the floor but never once did he let go.

"Absolutly, gotta show off my new fiancé" you hummed rising to share another kiss with him not really paying attention to the height you'd now reached, you had more important things to think about. Like sharing the rest of your life with this glorious man.

"My thoughts exactly" he grinned pulling out his phone aiming it at the two of you, makeing sure to have the hand that rested on his chest donning his ring in shot.

#henry cavill #henry cavill imagine #oh for fic sake headcannon #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill x you #henry cavill x y/n

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galvanizedfriend · 2 years

Note

👀 but your fav headcanon from TW3 that you are willing to share

You know how I don't like S3 at all, right? 🤣 And I shamefully admit that I did not try hard enough (or at all really) to fix the mountain of dumb shit in that season, so my headcanons are not ground breaking or anything. 🥲

Having said that, I think my favorite part is that I tried to shift Aurora's resentment from Klaus to Elijah. She still harbors a lot of resentment towards Klaus, as I think would be natural given that she lost 100 years of her life to his family as a whole and he never went looking for her, which would obviously make her feel betrayed. But I didn't want her whole personality to be jealous crazy ex who never got over her crush from 9 centuries ago. Instead, while she's still very much bitter towards Klaus, it's Elijah she truly hates. He's the one who effectively fucked with her life by compelling her to reject Klaus so he wouldn't carry her with them when they fled and then to make her, Tristan and Lucien believe they were Rebekah, Elijah and Klaus for the next 100 years and live on the run from Mikael.

The jealousy/bitterness she has towards Caroline stems not exactly from the fact she's with Klaus (obviously, someone with Aurora's superiority complex would never think that Caroline could be better than her in any way, she thinks she is and will always be Klaus' true match because she was his first vampire lover, is almost as old as him, she knew him from a different lifetime, and she also has the same kind of mentality as Lucien and Tristan that she's some kind of vampire royalty). The brunt of her hard feelings come from the fact that she realizes Elijah also cares for Caroline, that she was embraced as a part of the family, that she has become essentially a Mikaelson, which is everything Aurora had always wanted to be.

So why would Elijah accept her when he refused Aurora so violently, thus determining the spiral of chaos that ended up being her entire existence (she was manipulated by Tristan her whole life, treated like a mental patient to the point she actually did become a little cuckoo in the head)? What does this simple girl, who's a baby vampire, have that she doesn't? So that's what draws her attention to Caroline. It's not just listening to her name once and getting all jealous for no reason (Aurora is also very much not sleeping with Klaus at this point, which is important to highlight lol). She wants to know why Caroline is family, when Elijah fought her every step of the way, and eventually erased her from Klaus' mind so he would never, ever try to find her again, and maybe possibly release her from her torment. Aurora's idea of Klaus, from the time when they first meet, is that he could be the one who would free her from her controlling family, and I think part of her kept that feeling throughout the centuries, except he never questioned her rejection, never fought for her, never went back to find her, and she blames Elijah for that.

So that's why she ends up torturing Caroline in a way she didn't do with Cami, showing her pieces of the past by punching her memories into Caroline's debilitated mind (by gigantic doses of vervain) so that Caroline would realize that Elijah is not the nice guy she thinks he is, that she only exists in Klaus' life because Elijah made so, and that he is responsible for everything. She's not special, she's not the love of Klaus' life, she's just a replacement Elijah took in because he felt guilty and she gave them a baby to play with. She just wants to destroy the family from the inside.

And what that creates is a rupture between Elijah and Caroline, more so than between Caroline and Klaus. Yes, there are some wrinkles there, but they sort it out fast enough. The part I like the most is how Caroline reacts to what she saw from Elijah, and how disappointed she is in him. She trusted him with her life from the very beginning, at certain points she trusted him more than she trusted Klaus, they become incredibly close, she sees him as a best friend, almost like a brother. She loves Elijah. And now she thinks he was just using her to soothe his own guilty conscience, like if he could force Klaus to accept her and the baby, maybe he would be making up for having essentially taken away from him what could've been the real love of his life. So did Klaus ever really want her, or did Elijah just convince him to stick around until he decided to accept it?

And she's also angry on Klaus' behalf. When Elijah compelled Aurora, he started Klaus on a cycle of anger and resentment that made him hard and skeptical to the point he started thinking all love was just a weakness that should be obliterated. So she thinks Elijah, who spent his whole life criticizing Klaus and blaming him for everything that ever happened to their family, was actually at least partially responsible for what Klaus turned into, not only by indulging him the way he always did, but also by breaking his heart in such a cruel way - on purpose and because of Esther, who was a total bitch. The part where she confronts him about that is one of my favorites.

So yeah, that's my favorite headcanon from TW3. 🤣🤣 I'm sure @definedareasofuncertainty would say it's Camijah. 🥲 I was also, if i may say so myself, proud of my explanation for the whole vampire!Cami disaster. And also some bits closer to the end of the season, when Klaus and Caroline take off with baby Eve to run from the vamps flocking over to New Orleans and it ends up being them on a family roadtrip that turns out better than they imagined.

That was an interesting one, Ennie! Thank you!

#yokan answers #enniec123 #WIP Game #TW3

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scolopendress-tag · 3 years

Text

I said I'd make a post detailing my kid Asra working for Lucio theory in this post so here it is!

So Let's get STARDED.

So! To start off, how it began. We do know when Asra and Muriel were kids, Lucio came to them each seperately with a deal.

Essentially: work for me, or I'll hurt your friend.

This was the sentiment he repeated for both of them. So, not wanting the other to be harmed, they both agree - unaware of the other's deal.

For Muriel, it was playing heel/excecutioner at the coleseium. For Asra, it was doing... Well, we never know, aside from he worked under Lucio. But that's what we are here to discuss in any case.

Continued under the read more, for the sake of people's dashes.

Now presumably, if I got my timeline right, Asra at this time would've been around 12 or 13. We don't know much about how Asra was when he was younger, other than that he has certainly changed.

It's also worth noting that it's not amiss to say they were both also still homeless at the time, and the hut hadn't come into the play until after.

Asra was still living on the streets.

This all isn't overly important for any of my claims later, but perhaps someone else could make something of it. It does provide us with some framing for the situation as a whole, though.

Now onto Asra's time under Lucio. I don't know that we have any indication of how long it was, but presumably at least a year if not more.

We do also know that Lucio knew who Asra was. Both in that he knew Aisha and Salim had a kid, and that he knew Asra was said kid.

This is bring this up because we know Aisha and Salim were incredibly talented, and likely incredibly powerful. Lucio wouldn't settle for any run of the mill magician or alchemist for the work he needed. So he must've had some idea that Asra may take after that power as well.

To top it off, he also interacted and talked with the dock kids he also used, (two of which would actually later become palace guards,) and seeing as this is seemingly how he learned of Muriel, it's not off to think that this is also how he heard of Asra again to start. The kids knew of Asra's magic, and roughly where he was, and could've even continued talking about both Muriel and Asra to Lucio for unknown amounts of time.

So now Lucio knows that the kid of his two powerful practitioners of magic is not only still around, but taking after them as well.

If Muriel's intimidating size and physical power are what drew Lucio to him, why wouldn't Asra's considerable metaphysical power and talents draw Lucio in as well?

We know how much Lucio loves power, and that he has an interest in magic because of it, as mentioned in the main story. (no ss sorry... If you have one send so I can add. )

Plus, homeless kid in a vulnerable spot. Easy pickings.

That's what I think this whole thing was about, really. It's all power. Though Asra likely didn't have the full scope of power he does in the current game, he was probably still considerably talented, and was only getting better.

What Lucio specifically probably wanted from Asra then was either to be taught how to use that power, to use Asra for things that required it, and/or use his power for entertainment akin to how he used Muriel.

I think out of these however, using him for his power was most likely. Why? (And teaching him now, more on that further down)

(Sorry for bad quality lmao it's a small image. Also thanks to @8-bit-space for showing these to me like months ago. As you can see I can't stop thinking abt it)

These are screenshots from the old prologue. While they're not canon any more, there's reason to believe they still hold merit as to how Lucio feels about Asra.

Two things to me are major here. First is the "powerful potent magic," and how it's the "real deal," equating to a large part of how he views Asra yet again tying back to a heavy interest in his power. Now, you could argue this relates to using his powers in the palace during the plague, but the second point stands out even more to me.

"The one who broke him for me?"

What this implies to me is that Lucio could never quite get all the way through to Asra or control him when he was younger, and he's been dying to do so. He wanted Asra broken, presumably so that he'll become essentially a tool for him to use for his skill and not put up a fight- something Asra likely did as a child.

Because it seems that Lucio for the most part relied on control through fear when it came to Asra, threatening to hurt Muriel, lying to him about how he executed his parents, likely other things as well. But things seem to point to that never quite working like he had hoped.

This could allude to this as well. Though "impossible" is something Asra's been called a few times, namely also by Julian, there's no reason to assume Lucio wasn't also including his work with him as a kid in "always". Impossible to hate could be his draw to Asra for his power, his talent, his skills, the prospect of which I'm sure Lucio found practically mouthwatering. Impossible to love could be his stubbornness or reluctance to do what Lucio wants, always pushing against him or being hard to deal with, both as a kid and during the plague.

And lines like this, where he calls him a coward. I find it hard to relate this to the plague ritual as he was for the most part willingly helping with that, so it could be resenment for when Asra eventually ran off as a kid, unwilling to put up with him any longer, or his reluctance to do certain things for him then in general.

We know, and it has even been mentioned by a character within the canon, that Asra can be incredibly stubborn, to back that up. Plus, he could've been even harder to work with then both being a kid and as I mentioned earlier he has changed from how he was then, so he could've had more spunk to him or such.

This also easily means that what Lucio was trying to get Asra to do then was something Asra was quite obviously opposed to. Being used for his power is already degrading enough, but there could be more to it.

You'll notice in the post that was linked at the top (the reason I'm writing this) I mentioned pushing Asra to his physical limits and magical extremes. This could be one of the reasons for a push back.

If Lucio was having Asra do things for him involving magic, it's not out of pocket to assume he'd practically run him into the ground- I'm sure he really wouldve loved testing the limits of what Asra could REALLY do.

Wether it be huge expendure of power all at once, or tons of smaller things one after the other, it would absolutely take it's toll. We are shown a few times that using magic can exhaust someone, and I don't remember if this is shown in canon ever (tell me if so!) but pushing it even further could definitely lead to other things such as passing out, (Or nosebleeds, for the aesthetic,) alongside likely being incredibly painful and draining, both mentally and physically.

Basically, abusing his powers and the body that commanded them. It's also possible that the stubborness to work with Lucio could also be partially percieved because of this- Lucio taking Asra's literal physical inability to continue as defiance.

Another reason for push back from Asra would be making him do morally compromising things. This is a little more vague, but intimidation is a common headcanon I see for what Lucio made Asra do, and that could tie in here. Other things could be meddling in things and business he shouldn't, but again, it's a vague thing. Make of it what you will. Fucked up stuff all around.

[EDIT - TEACHING LUCIO]

(THANK YOU @tea-tye for showing me these, and credits to @hangedman-magician for the video they came from!!!!!!!)

...I cannot BELIEVE I forgot this, I KNEW I was missing something. Especially when I was fairly certain I remember Lucio being obsessed with the idea of magic. SO, MOVING ON,

There's not terribly much to pick apart here as it's rather direct- Asra saying he has in fact tried to teach Lucio magic. So in my eyes this solidifies that this was a component of Asra's time under Lucio. I still think my points about Lucio treatment (pushing Asra to his limits) stand, as well.

This can also tie in the stubborness mentioned as, well, can you imagine teaching Lucio? Asra backs this up by saying nothing he has ever said stuck with Lucio, and you know how Lucio gets when things don't go his way. He would've blamed his inability to learn on Asra, likely.

Looking to other quotes mentioned: the 'broke him' line still rings to me like he was trying to use Asra in other ways, and the 'coward' line could go either way from refusing to teach Lucio certain things, or refusing to do certain things for Lucio when he was merely being used. The "impossible" line could also go for others, as trying to teach someone like Lucio would've undoubtedly caused some head butting.

This is certainly really exciting and interesting to me as it gives a more complete picture on the exact situation at hand here. I still stay by my reasoning for Lucio simply using Asra as well on top of being taught because it seems highly likely that Lucio would've been too impatient to learn to do certain things himself, and like I said as well, I don't doubt he also just wanted to see what Asra was REALLY capable of. Something he could've saw as a tantalizing insight into the kind of power he could aquire of this kid would just... work with him.

NOW we have a MUCH clearer answer as to what exactly Asra was likely doing under Lucio, or at this point, almost certainly doing. It's a sad picture for Asra of course, but with this you can draw some interesting points as to how he could've been affected by this, as I'm sure it would've left some kind of imprint on him.

Sure it may not have been as traumatic as what Muriel went through, but when you look at it, it's hard to say it DIDN'T leave it's scars. If we consider all the points presented in this post truth we have:

A 12/13 yo homeless child, threatened with his friend's life to work for the Count that he knew was the one responsible for orphaning him and making him homeless in the first place.

Said child believing his parents are still alive, and as we see in Travel at Night, could very likely still be trying to find them. In a situation like Asra's that glimmer of hope probably was a big deal in helping him push on. This may also be a reason he agreed on top of Muriel's safety.

While working under the count, he is told that his parents were executed, no doubt devastating. The manner in which this was mentioned is up for debate, and could affect exactly how it was taken. Options could be Lucio joking or bragging about it (treating it as trivial or an accomplishment), or using it to threaten Asra, (as in I killed your parents, I'll kill you too,) both would work when it comes to controlling by fear.

It is also mentioned that Lucio told him the reason for his parents execution is that they messed up his gold arm, so Asra also has the knowledge that his parents were killed over something so unbelievably trivial.

Being used as a source of power and nothing else, both for teaching and pure work/entertainment, all for the man who killed his parents, day after day.

Being pushed to physically painful and mentally draining limits, expending so much energy that he completely exhausts himself, day after day.

Likely taking all sorts of verbal abuse from Lucio, day after day.

Like mentioned earlier, it seems clear that Lucio wanted to break Asra, so some other form of trying to chip away at his psyche to make him more convenient for Lucio is likely as well.

Those points alone, to yet again a CHILD no less, seem more than enough to cause some traumatic impact, and depending on certain specifics of what exactly went on during that time, it could be worse. I may make a post looking into the long lasting effects of this on Asra, I may not. It would mostly be headcanon regardless. If you want to add your hc relating to this situation though, I'll gladly reblog it!

And now that we are closing out, it's time to revise my summary. So, without further ado, THIS is what I think was going on during this time.

Lucio knows of Asras existence and parentage.

Lucio learns Asra is around and that he's got power.

Lucio LOVES power, so he threatens Asra into working for him.

Lucio uses Asra for his power and to be taught how to use it for himself.

While using Asra for his knowledge and power, runs him into the ground by pushing his limits to physical and magical degrees, possibly even moral.

Asra pushes back against a lot of this, or is at least percieved to, frustrating Lucio.

Lucio does what he can to try and control Asra even more, primarily via fear, but can't seem to crack him.

Eventually it's too much, and Asra leaves. Likely when the plague hit like Muriel, but it's possible it could've been somewhat sooner. Lucio is PISSED, because he wanted that magical power all to himself.

Less related, I can see Lucio trying to brush it off and pretending to be fine with it, excuse being "he was too difficult to work with, anyways," or something.

...And then... years later, as far as Lucio sees it, Asra comes crawling back- and he's tamed down to a degree! He's actually working with him. Lucio might not know what or who did it, but Asra is finally broke for him, and I'm sure he was absolutely ecstatic to have that power back in his hands- and more than ever before.

Think of all of this as you would like!

At the end this is all still speculative, so definitely feel free to make your own points or say if you feel any different abt anything- expansions or counters on this theory/headcanon welcome!

And if you also have any other screenshots or info not here that could add to the theory or change the outlook of certain things definitely add them!!! I feel like I'm missing stuff for sure, and my memory has probably muddled some things (hopefully I didn't get anything wrong, though.)

And @asrascherry thanks for the offer in helping word my hcs also! I forgot to say that. This one is just so long I wouldve felt bad bringing it all to you 😔 it's probably still messy as a result but I tried lmao (worried it's repetitive or unclear 😬)

Uh yeah! That's mostly it for NOW.

+All the love to Asra for going through so much I'm so sorry bb,,

Thanks for reading!

#asra #the arcana #the arcana game #asra alnazar #asra the arcana

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