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thatgirlonstage · 1 year

Note

for a fun prompt: the crew of the starblaster celebrating the 69th birthdays of their human members

I went pretty far off script with this prompt but I think it’s still entertaining haha.

——

“I can’t have a crush on her, Merle!” Barry tugged anxiously at his hair, pacing back and forth so forcefully that he was liable to wear a hole in the carpet. “She’s, like, 110 years old! That’s barely adult for an elf! I’d be dating a twenty year old!”

“Ehhh, elf ages and human ages are both dumb,” Merle said, poking distractedly at the little potted plant in his lap. It gave a disconcerting, entirely un-plant-like hiss. “Even more so, now that we’re in some kinda funky reset loop. If you like her, you like her, and if she likes you she likes you. Why get hung up on the details?”

“But she’s— I’m— we’re—” Barry stopped in the middle of the floor to gesticulate madly. Tiny, confused fireworks of prestidigitation popped in his fingers. His shoulders slumped all at once. “I mean, she probably doesn’t even see me that way,” he mumbled.

“You know, for all you’re sayin’ you’re the one who’s too old for this relationship, you sure are acting like a kid,” Merle said cheerfully. He tickled the underside of a leaf on the plant, which promptly opened like a jaw a bit him. “Ooh, feisty little guy!” Merle said to the plant. He seemed entirely unconcerned by the blood now oozing from his finger and the thorns still buried in him. “All this drama over a crush! And you’re worried you’re too old for the interdimensional astronaut elf! Come on, Barry. I mean, by that standard, I’m decades too old for half the plants I’ve—”

“I am begging you not to finish that sentence.”

Merle grinned at him. “The point is— I mean, how old even are ya?”

“I’m fifty— no, hang on.” Barry mouthed to himself, counting silently. “How many cycles are we on? Sixteen?”

“Beats me,” Merle said. He was stroking the edge of the leaf that was still embedded in his finger. Something yellow and nasty was starting to ooze out of the wound along with the blood.

“No, crap, seventeen, I forgot about the hamster wheel planet.”

“Oh yeah! Your whiskers were adorable.”

“Are you going to heal your finger?”

“Aww, the little guy’s just playing, don’t mind him,” Merle said. “So seventeen cycles puts you at…?”

Barry stared up at the ceiling. “It’s almost the autumn equinox, isn’t it? Oh man, Merle, I turn 69 next week.” He started pulling his hair again. “Merle, I’m almost seventy!”

“Hey, congrats, you’re narrowing the age gap!”

“That’s not how this works!” Barry rubbed a hand over his face. “Merle, that plant is poisoning you, and I am not wasting a diamond to raise you if you keel over on me.”

“Alright, alright!” Merle, who had been turning faintly green and yellow, like his entire body was a fading bruise, said. “Sheesh, you’d think I never heal anything unless I’m told.” He extricated his finger from the plant and with a short murmur, the wound zipped closed and the poison dissipated beneath his skin. “The point is, Barry, maybe it’s hard to see because you’re human, and you can only see it from a human perspective, but adulthood is weird when you live a long time.” Merle shrugged. “I don’t know all that much about elves, but I know they don’t stay in their mom’s skirts until they hit their first century. A hundred years is still a hundred years, even if you feel it a bit differently. She might think you’re the little kid here. Either way, you’ll never know if you don’t talk to her about it.”

Barry sighed. “As usual, Merle, you’re somehow both a lot of help and no help at all.”

Merle gave him a broad grin. “I strive for oxymorons!” he said. “By the way, when did you say your birthday was?”

“Huh? Oh, next week. But it’s not like we’ve been celebrating—”

“Next week! Got it!” Merle hopped off his chair and waddled to the door. “Don’t you dare die before then, Barry!”

Barry was left behind in Merle’s bedroom with a hissing plant, somehow now much more worried about his birthday than he was about Lup.

*

A week later, with no further word from Merle, Barry had almost forgotten his birthday was coming, until he walked into the Starblaster’s common room one morning in a ratty t-shirt and sleep jeans to his entire family around a cake in the shape of a giant 69, shouting in bellowed chorus, “NICE BIRTHDAY, BARRY!”

#taz #taz: balance #blupjeans #barry bluejeans #merle highchurch #a ship to die for #my writing #answers

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ithinkdogshouldvote · 3 months

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Yuri but its toxic and they kiss about it

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sparklingsora · 4 months

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doodle dump. give it up for WORLD'S WORST POLYCULE!!! (feat. my vox redesign)

you know how hermit crabs like form queues where they exchange shells from biggest to smallest. yeah these bitches do that but with shirts

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel vees #the vees #hazbin vox #hazbin valentino #hazbin velvette #staticmoth #voxval #idk what the velvette ships are called :(#or the throuple ship #if anybody knows lmk!!!#my art #huge shoutout to anyone who gets the nerdy prudes must die references #this has been sitting in my drafts for like a week now. i guess i'll finally unleash it upon the world

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thatpunnyperson · 1 year

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According to NBC here in the US, the missing titanic sub has been found. As debris. Off the bow of the Titanic wreckage.

And it looks like the sub suffered what we all suspected, and what was undoubtedly the more merciful of the two options: a catastrophic implosion from the pressure.

Also, more info has come to light about the fishing trawler with the hundreds of migrants that sank cataclysmically off the coast of Greece, indicating that the greek coast guard knew about the vessel AND how much trouble the vessel was in, and were towing it at a speed that made it capsize, at which point they unhooked the tow line and watched the trawler sink without helping the passengers to safety. Despite a bunch of other ships trying to help as well throughout the whole ordeal.

So a lot of people are dead, all because of regulations (and the lack thereof) regarding sea-faring vessels and rescue protocols. People shouldnt be allowed to make a business charging a ton of money for a ride on an uncertified, unsafe, un-seaworthy ship going deep into the ocean with no distress beacon or tether to the mothership. People also shouldnt be allowed to enact laws that criminalize the ferrying of refugees, which then force the refugees to hitch rides on fishing trawlers, and which also prevent people from helping those fishing trawlers full of refugees due to fear of legal consequences.

Hopefully BOTH of these events spark changes on an international scale in terms of what is legally allowed to be sailed, who is legally allowed to be the passengers, and what the rescue protocols are in the event of disaster for any seafaring vessel, illegal or not. It shouldnt be just the global 1% who get 24/7 search parties and remote-operated submersibles helping rescue them.

#the question of 'what do we owe to each other' can be answered simply with 'the dignity of retrieving our remains when we die'#another answer is 'the dignity of thinking about each other fellow humans with similar motivations and feelings'#also 'stopping someones potentially self-destructive behaviors just because theyre rich and want to feel special'#also i feel like humans have been sailing the seas long enough that it should be guaranteed that people will survive sea voyages #im very mad about specifically mediterranean maritime disasters because we have ancient writing saying they made it safe #sailing from Egypt to Greece was so old hat and safe that people legit took the ancient equivalent of cruises back and forth #cleopatra habitually sailed from alexandria to rome with a ton of ships and was fine #Nero tried to have his mother drowned at sea by orchestrating a dramatic shipwreck while she was our sailing AND SHE SURVIVED #and then swam to shore got back to rome and whooped his ass #fuckin pliny the elder tried to evacuate people from pompeii and the surrounding coast villages when vesuvius erupted #and he actually WAS able to rescue people #but he himself had an asthma attack from the fumes which led to a heart attack and he died on the beach #there is legit no excuse for that trawler of migrant refugees to have wrecked #negligence all around #anyway #oceangate

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artchixs · 5 months

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if I loved you. you would know it.

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lyss-butterscotch · 7 months

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Off with her head!

#i offer this image in hopes she doesnt die for realsies #i will cry #ANYWAYS QUEST UPDATE IN 5 HOURS IM SO HYPED #genshin impact #genshin #genshin fanart #genshin spoilers #my art #krita #neuvillette #focalors #furina #dont tag as ship :(#lyss art

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bookcub · 7 months

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in hindsight, a lot of romantic couples from children's and ya books wouldn't make it in the long run. many wouldn't get married or even date all through high school.

but the one couple i will never doubt is percy and annabeth. i don't care what anyone else says, they are together forever, and no one can change my mind.

#pjo #percabeth #there are other ships i believe who will make it #but they are who i will die on the hill for #percy jackson #annabeth chase #thank god rick agrees with me #we have our disagreements #but at least we agree on this

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mintypsii · 9 months

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yk adorable group hug and luffy moment aside, did zoro just kick the ground . after he was hugged . is this show even real

sorry but the way nami went 🤨🏳️‍🌈 TWICE

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solroskajan · 13 days

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:D

#I've been wanting to draw something like this #thank you for giving me the excuse #nuziv #vuzin #murder drones #my art #I'll get to the other requests eventually!#(except for the crossover and oc requests i'm so sorry but I don't do those right now)#again there are 3 requests that I really want to combine #I'll probably draw other things in between though #okay i'll just tag all the ships #nuzi #vuzi #envy #they give me so much joy #!!!#both uzi and v are going to die of embarrassment later btw #especially uzi

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queenlypirate · 6 months

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grace chasity has got a gun, tra-la-la how fun!

original:

it fit them so perfectly i had to

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grezzirossi · 10 days

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Silly Bloodweave Sketch with my fave armors/robes for them (golden star for u if u can read my writing)

#Bloodweave #Gale dekarios #Astarion Ancunin #baldur's gate 3 #wavemother robe was made for Gale #I will die on this hill #well how can I not ship them lol #that's one of my fave ship dynamics sir right there #I have some comics Ill post in the future but Im slow and tired and lazy lmao #mycryptidart

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viennasausagerock · 5 months

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there is a light that never goes out

#reimu the smiths fan real #another beautiful day of loving lesbians #to die by your sideeee is such a heavenly way to die #digital art #artists on tumblr #rkgk #sketch #touhou #touhou fanart #modern au #reimu hakurei #marisa kirisame #reimari #ship art #wlw #yuri

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dragonstoned · 7 months

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listen that was a romantic ass slow mo of a first meeting

four seasons planned...... look there is plenty of time to go there. it could happen. 'oh theyre just foils' yes they are but also why frame their twinned developments with intimacy and sex and orgasms. why are they building these associations and beaming it into our brains. why did akemi say she searched for love in mizus eyes????

anyway. just look ok