#a little context tidbit since this reminds me of it
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this image came to me a while back and wouldn't leave me alone until i brought it into the world, and after seeing your Barbenheimer art i thought i might send it to you. love all your work, and it's been great seeing the development of these two! <3
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#aw dang partners in crime!#very in character yes#Vasco's gleeful look is just something else I love it#thank you for drawing my boys#;_;#I'm glad to hear you've been enjoying seeing them around!#Machete#Vasco#own characters#Pandaboar#gift art#a little context tidbit since this reminds me of it#for the majority of their co-existence Vasco is the one who has a little bit of a criminal record and autrority issues#and since he's never gotten into serious trouble for it he's quite nonchalant about the whole thing#he has solid morals for sure but they don't always align with the law#Machete is an obedient well behaved goody two shoes until he slowly boils over irreparably and becomes the worst version of himself#I actually had a similar thing sketched last month but never got around to finishing it#should I still do it or is it too late at this point
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What I just can’t stop thinking about from the Bryce, Nesta and Az bonus chapter (spoilers ⬇️)
( I finally caved and read that one, I didn’t read the other bonus chapters so please don’t mention anything about what’s in them)
A lot of people did amazing work analyzing the songs and I’m in awe, but the moment that sticks with me is this;
First a reminder, this is Bryce’s pov she has no context for any dynamics between these people. The way she describes it, Az starts the chapter suspicious, quiet and broody. Nesta starts actually talking to Bryce, but here’s the moment Bryce notes specifically when Azriel is really paying attention
So, why is Az particularly invested in this little tidbit? There’s literally only 3 people (3 sisters) he knows that have previously been human and are now Fae, and only 2 of them have become Fae in the cauldron. (Unless you wanna count Briallyn 🤷♀️)
Bryce doesn’t have more context, but we do, and we know he has an adorable closeness, and painful “break up” after having been forbidden to pursue his feelings, with Elain, the other person that went into the cauldron.
As far as we know they haven’t kissed, she hasn’t said his name and she doesn’t know Rhys interfered in her love life. They may currently be mid-cliff hanger (i think of it as Jane and Bingley after he leaves nethefield, before he finds out Darcy interferred and goes back to propose)
If their relationship is not resolved (and he did answer “no” to Bryce’s questions) I don’t think it’s a stretch to say he could still be thinking and worrying about her. Perhaps he’s hoping that through Nesta’s account of what the transition was like, he might understand better how Elain feels as well?
Look, do I think he cares about Nesta? Obviously, they’re friends and her well being matters to him, but we KNOW about everything that went down between him and Elain. We know about the necklace specially designed for her. We know he suffers from smelling and being near her bond, we know they spent peaceful time together, that he came for her and gave her Truth Teller since he wouldn’t use it that day… we know about the potatoes!!
So while this IS about Nesta, it is very likely that he is ALSO thinking about someone else he loves. Why do I think that? Here’s what he says next
And THERE it is —What is the first thing he says? The first thing ON HIS MIND ? “The people you love”
Because what if he says it simply because the people he loves ARE on his mind right now? Because Nesta reminded him of the only other person who would know what it was like to go in the cauldron. Elain, who he loves 💕
So that’s what I think. And have been thinking about since I read the BC ☺️ Yes I could be wrong, there could be other interpretations this is just my reading of it.
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I just needed to remind myself that I still know how to draw semi-realistically lmaoo That aside, here’s a painting for my post-Ragnarok AU! The idea came to me while I was thinking about my fic, and I liked it so much that I decided to draw it (and rework the fic’s outline a teensy bit to include it) XDD
I’m willing to bet y’all will be able to recognize the characters around Atreus and Calliope, but if not, no worries! They’re from the original GoW games: Callisto, Kratos’ mother; Deimos, his younger brother; and Lysandra, his first wife. I don’t want to give too much away about where this scene will take place in my fic, and what the exact setting and context is, but I think there’s enough tidbits in the painting to guess at what’s happening! :DDD
It was also lots of fun to add little family resemblances between the characters XDD I heard somewhere (though I can’t remember where) that Atreus’ scar is a magic/hereditary thing, since it matches the shape of Deimos’. Other than that, I like to imagine he has a bit of his uncle’s features, while Calliope has some of her grandmother’s!
#in which the Giant marbles are put to use once again XDD#art#my art#god of war#god of war ragnarok#au#fanart#god of war fanart#god of war 2018#atreus#calliope#callisto#deimos#lysandra#kratos#giants#jotnar#jotunheim#chains of olympus#ghost of sparta#man i love making sketchy paintings like this one#i don't have to worry about super clean lineart loll#and then i can just play around with the colours!
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YOU'RE SO RIGHT THOUGH Komahina truly is such a good ship and I feel like it's the one implied most in canon. The way they compliment each other, they remind me of a yin and yang. If you have the time for it I'd definitely love to hear your Saiouma thoughts too because Saiouma is definitely one of my favorite ships (I analyzed their characters way too hard and just fell for them)
Yes absolutely 🙏🙏🙏
Something I actually like about saiouma is kinda the opposite of Komahina, and that’s the lack of in-game subtext. I don’t just mean that in terms of romantic subtext, but also just who Ouma is as a character, since you get absolutely no concrete backstory for him, and don’t even know if you can trust the small tidbit you do get with DICE, and because of this he can kinda be whatever you want him to be. He is purposefully shrouded in mystery because the theme of the game is truth vs fiction, and I think his character was meant to exemplify that theme by being unknowable. I’ve seen the claim that Kokichi is just a knockoff Nagito but I don’t think that’s fair because I think he’s very purposefully the way he is.
That being said, I personally buy into the hc that he is anxious and has trust issues, which is why he constantly avoids the truth and acts out the way he does in game (Weeby News has a really good ouma analysis on YouTube I would highly recommend if you haven’t seen it)
This hc is sort of the hinge of why I love Saiouma, because this puts them in a position of understanding each other, both fearing the power of truth, albeit for different reasons. This along with what in-game context you do get from FTEs is what drives it for me. All of the other characters write off Kokichi as a trouble maker, bad news, purely antagonistic, but if you do all his FTEs then that makes Shuichi the only one to extend the courtesy of trying to get to know him.
That being said, unlike Komaeda, Ouma does NOT care to submit to the terrifying ordeal of being known- at first. He is having fun with Saihara, he’s definitely a little gay boy for Saihara, but he’s not revealing anything; of course Shuichi sees Kokichi as an enigma, or even a puzzle to solve, which is why he keeps coming back. However, over the course of all FTEs and his Salmon-mode ending, Shuichi comes to appreciate Ouma for who he is- lies and all- and agrees to meet Kokichi in his level, literally hand in hand.
Again we come back to the idea that this ship is very mailable, as is seen by the plethora or pre, post, and in-game art and fics. There are AUs left and right because there is just so much room for adaptation: people can pick and choose exactly what they want Saiouma to be to an incredible degree. Of course my preferred dynamic is always going to be the A+ banter that you get with the introvert/extrovert, and because they’re both anxious and insecure in their own ways, I think this enables some very cute content.
I’m the end I do tend to latch on to what existing canon content there is cuz that’s just how my brain works; they compliment and contrast each other because they both understand the gravity of truth and lies, and I think they end up understanding each others different ways of using them. I think there’s a lot of room for growth for both of them, and I think they’re both in a position to empower and uplift the other on their character arcs.
I do think the game could have done a better job of giving subtext that they might genuinely care for each other (much the way Komahina does) but I do understand the reasoning behind leaving it more open to interpretation. Either way I greatly appreciate the levels of creativity that come from saiouma shippers, and I will always be a sucker for phantom thief AUs 😅
#let’s not forget the complimenting colour scheme#anyway canon is what I choose and I say they like each other#in my brain Shuichi actually CARED about ouma’s head injury in ch3#I do genuinely wish they had more in-game interactions the way Komahina does#but alas#I must live vicariously through the fan creation community#saiouma#danganronpa#skaterboy answers
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hi snuggle muffin
so you said Alicia is mysterious right now but like..how?? i played the game and this bitch is just kinda open. like,, dead gf, mean, somehow has gray hair. everything kinda checks out so like maybe explain a little more???? also,, what is she to bureaucracy?? bc she seems to not like him very much. oh and, what happened with beargrass and his family? since they were like. rude gazillionares or whatever
hiiii electtra; ilysm fooor this ask because i love the chance to be a little annoyying about my favorite mean women (even though you just made me go through hell with your other one.)
youre absolutely right about her being open, but the thing is that it feels more like the false-openness. Like, realistically,, the player really only knows most this stuff from context clues!! Techincally, she never techincally admitted to having a dead gf, but beaford literally just made a wlw and dried lilys joke and alicia freezed up like a fish out of water. So. You sorta realize.
Also, we really only know tidbits of her motives and stuff, but thats it. theyre only small bits. She has a board in the office about a hotel incident from three years ago; is it just a random story? Is it something she was apart of? Did dried lily girl die in it? What about it ??? ALICIIA PLEASE!!!!!! Plus, her motives to bringing Beaford back on the surface ARE what she says it is. Repay for making Alicia go through that shit because he got possessed by some demon. But also; he's probably one of the first examples of the supernatural ACTUALLY being the supernatural in her experince. And what do we know she is?? Skepticle of the super natural. So seeing a whole ass demon possess this really pathetic college drop out is defiently something Alicia finds horribly important considering shes searching for some proof to the super natural. Because really guys.. do you think Alicia Wilkershire went to her highschool guidance counselor sayng she wanted to be an ordained minister and excorist? Yeah, no. That is NOT how it works!!!!!
Alsoooo, i think her and beaford have both a really complicated and a really simple relationship simultaneously. Because on one hand; they are what they are on the surface. Beaford works for Alicia to pay back for the shit he pulled with that demon possession thing. On the other hand; there's WAY more than that.
Alicia is not a very warm and kind person, by like, any means. She's over six feet tall, spicaze herself described her as mean, and she literally repeteadly kicks at beaford WHILE HES DOWN even after the demon stopped possessing him actively. But shes seen being at least a lot kinder with beaford. She watched that one anime with him not even a month into knowing him (even if she bemoans it, actively) and even went far enough to find a reedeeming quality in it (I.E the fashion) !!!!! She lets him poke fun at him (even though, to be fair, she absolutely decks him everytime he does.) And to be frank; this is not stuff that Alicia do with just any person. We can tell shes awkward with most clients; but even when first meeting beaford, she was way more casual and comofortably speaking then she does with Naomi (who she has to lean back on Beaford to talk to !!!!)
Obviously this doesnt take away fromt he fact Alicia IS still a bit (very) mean to beaford. But it's just. Way different from how she treats others. Which is why I'm very convinced its because Beaford reminds her of dried lily girl; especially consdering the aspect of how they have VERY similar speech traits and personailities in regards to Alicia (Poking fun at her, seeing her differently than others do, etc..) especially consdering the conversation we see in the knife ending where Alicia is (presumably) speaking to dried lily in the after life.
Also. I'm pretty sure its canon that Beaford just up and left without saying anything. His family is obviously very rigid in the fact that theyre all doctors and expect the same from Beaford. Plus considering his shock at seeing the photo of him and sister still in his sisters room-- I can really only presume his home life wasn't really the best. So him just up and leaving isnt too shocking/unwarranted
Anyways I really lvoe these two and i'll probably make a post later about them. Thank you Electra. Your sins have been forgiven.
#BUREAUCRACY. BEARGRASS.#IM CRYING.#thank youuu electraaaa#:3#alicia wilkershire#beaford lysenworth#alicia & beaford#silver thread spicaze#Gospel of eve spicaze#electra tag
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Listening to Ash talk reminded me how much I disliked him. It would have done no good to say so aloud (and he already knew, anyway) so I just gritted my teeth and let him talk.
"To return to the pending issue," he continued, "it would be much easier to throw Didelphis to the mob and be done with it. The wicked witch gets burned alive, the public's bloodlust is sated, and the innocent baker is saved. You can pat yourself on the back for a Seelie job well done. As a monarch your decisions will seldom work out so cleanly, so I'd advise you to take the easy win."
"The easy win," I repeated. "That's just it. Easy. Lazy. Would it really take that much extra effort to save everybody?"
"As a former scholar of the Seelie mindset and its inherent follies, I can understand why you want to save Oonagh, the so-called 'innocent' bystander caught up in all this. Frankly though, you should have thought more carefully before sending a deranged witch to her doorstep. What puzzles me even more than that is why on earth you would want to save someone who is actively working against you, and is unhinged enough to keep doing it regardless of the consequences."
"How odd," I quipped, "to hear you, of all people, wondering why I would employ someone I don't trust."
"That's not at all what I said," Ash responded drily.
"You did say that Oonagh was a 'so-called innocent.' What do you mean by that?"
"Innocence is a loaded concept. No one is truly innocent."
"She's innocent in this context because the situation is not her fault."
"I don't have time to discuss philosophy right now," Ash sniffed. "Granted that Oonagh is contextually 'innocent,' still Didelphis most certainly is not. Why so concerned for her?"
"Because I put her in this situation," I insisted. "And … well … I believed, and I still believe that I can teach her a lesson and steer her onto a more Seelie path."
Ash was silent for several seconds. I was just about to ask if he was still there, when suddenly he burst into laughter.
"Really?" he cackled. "You think you can reform that egotistical, embittered, stubborn, viciously mean-spirited, brain-dead, old hag? Oh ho ho ho! I'd pay money to see that! Oooh hee hee, thank you, my lord, I needed a good laugh. Now then, let's see … you know what, I'm confident enough in the resources I've set up, and in Lana's effectiveness, I think we can afford to let you fail at yet another project. So sure, why not, I'm willing to save both, if for nothing more than the entertainment value. Perhaps playing with your little coven will keep you occupied so the adults can get some work done."
I ignored Ash's insults to cut to the crucial tidbit he had just dropped. "Wait, you've spoken to Lana?"
"Oh indeed," Ash smirked audibly. "Charming femme; delightfully Unseelie. Under other circumstances, I might consider courting her. I really have to admire the Sisterhood's way of conducting business."
"When did you meet her?" I demanded. "What did you talk about?"
"No time for chit-chat," Ash reminded me smugly. "We're both on a strict time table now. We can debate and exposit to your heart's content AFTER the trial is over. Now then, since you are determined to save them both … I shudder to ask, but … do you have any idea how to accomplish this? I can lean on O'Hoppity in regards to the trial, but he will need a plausible reason to explain his change of heart."
"I do in fact have a plan," I declared confidently. "Transmogrification got us into this mess and transmogrification will get us out of it. I will transmogrify someone into the exact likeness of Didelphis and have her claim that child Didelphis is an unruly relative having an out of control tantrum."
"Well then," Ash stated thoughtfully. Was he impressed? It was hard to tell. "It's a novel solution, I'll grant you that, but there are a few practical concerns. Does anyone in town know Didelphis well enough to be able to say that she does or does not have a young niece who uncannily resembles her? Also, do you actually have somebody who knows her well enough to do a convincing imitation?"
"As a matter of fact, I do," I stated triumphantly. "I have someone here who's spent a great deal of time with Didelphis. There's just one problem."
"Of course there is," Ash sighed. "Go on."
"Telling untruths would not be good for her since I am 99.9% sure she is a Changeling."
Then I heard Ash gasp in the way I thought he would when I spilled the beans about Reverend O'Hoppity.
"Run that by me again," he muttered quietly.
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“You're afraid of me.”
I think Damon genuinely cares about Elena, and has since the night they first met. He told her he wanted her to get everything she’s looking for, then four months later, saw that Stefan was planning to enter her life. Because she wasn’t looking for a vampire, but rather, a vampire was looking for her... I think Damon decided she should know what she was getting herself into. If he wanted Elena to be part of their world, he would’ve ensured it, but he compelled himself out of her life so that she could actually have one.
While I do believe Damon’s intention was for Elena to learn their truth, I think he wanted Stefan to tell it because he's the one who chose to build a relationship with her. At the same time, handed Elena tidbits for the sake of her seeking out their truth as she saw fit.
Similar to the way Raymond’s secret is written on The Blacklist. He’s keeping a secret others know, but they won’t say because it’s his truth to tell. Still, they urge him to tell it.
1x1: Pilot
Stefan: You know, you left that girl alive tonight. That's very clumsy of you.
Damon: Ah. That can be a problem... for you.
Damon could’ve went anywhere to feed, but chose to attack Vicki at the bonfire. He left her bloody and uncompelled where any high school kid at the party could find her. Damon doesn’t see this as a problem for him, but a problem for Stefan. He’s the one pretending to be human, trying to build a life in their human world. Stefan never once confronted Damon for the couple he killed the night before because he doesn’t care so long as Damon taking life doesn’t interfere with whatever life he’s trying to build at any given time.
Stefan: I lost control today. Everything I've kept buried inside came rushing to the surface. I'm simply not able to resist her.
Damon: Tell me something, when's the last time you had something stronger than a squirrel?
Stefan: I know what you're doing, Damon. It's not gonna work.
Damon: Yeah? Come on. Don't you crave a little?
Stefan: Stop it.
Damon: Let's do it. Together. I saw a couple girls out there. Or just, let's just cut to the chase, let's just go straight for Elena.
Stefan: Stop it!
Damon: Imagine what her blood tastes like! I can.
Damon was at the cemetery and the bonfire, so I do think he witnessed Stefan’s blood urges coming to the surface with Elena. I think he continuously slaps him in this scene because he’s upset about it. Stefan is putting her at risk in the knowing that he can’t resist her - as he has a hard time resisting humans to begin with.
Stefan is a ripper.
1x2: The Night of the Comet
Elena: I... I'm sorry for barging in. The door was... open.
Damon: You must be Elena. I'm Damon, Stefan's brother.
Damon closes the door behind Elena, knowing she knows it was left open. He gauges her response.
Damon: I see why my brother's so smitten. It's about time. For a while there, I never thought he'd get over the last one. Nearly destroyed him.
Elena: The last one?
Damon: Yeah. Katherine, his girlfriend? Oh, you two haven't had the awkward exes conversation yet.
Elena: Nope.
Damon: Oops. Well, I'm sure it'll come up now. Or maybe he didn't want to tell you because he didn't want you to think he was on the rebound. We all know how those relationships end.
Elena: He told me about your ex. Katherine.
Stefan: What did he say?
Elena: That she broke your heart.
Stefan: That was a long time ago.
Elena: When you lose someone, it stays with you, always reminding you of how easy it is to get hurt.
I believe Damon wants Elena to know about Katherine because she's the reason they're vampires in the first place. Pushing her in conversation could help Elena uncover their truth. Using the context of sight because they're doppelgangers, he can "see" why Stefan is so attracted to her. Whether or not Stefan is on the rebound isn't what drives Damon to say he is. He wants Elena to believe he is so she'll confront him about Katherine. He succeeded.
Stefan: Elena. I didn't know you were coming over.
Elena: I know. I should have called, I just...
Damon: Oh, don't be silly. You're welcome any time. Isn't she, Stefan? You know, I should break out the family photo albums or some home movies. But... I have to warn you. He wasn't always such a looker.
Damon is opening up their home, offering photo albums and home movies for the sake of Elena learning their truth. Not a coincidence that Elena essentially learns what they are while watching news footage of Stefan and their dead Uncle Joseph from 1953.
Damon: Did you over-exert yourself today? Let me guess...hospital.
Stefan: Someone had to clean up your mess.
Damon: Well, were you successful? Did the powers of persuasion work? Remember, if you don't feed properly, none of those little tricks work right.
Elena: Did she say what kind of animal it was that attacked her?
Matt: She said it was a vampire.
Elena: What?
Matt: Yeah, she wakes up last night and mutters "vampire" and then passes out.
Despite knowing Stefan is weak because he’s on the animal diet, he left Vicki uncompelled, and doesn’t bother to make sure Stefan’s compulsion worked. Never mind the fact that she already told Matt she was bitten by a vampire, which I do believe was Damon’s intention.
Stefan: That's what this is about? You want to expose me?
Damon: No! I want you to remember who you are!
Damon continues to drive the idea of Vicki exposing them. I don't believe he wants them exposed to the council, but I do believe he wants Elena to know, as he fully intends to rescue Katherine from the tomb. I most certainly believe he wants Stefan to accept the fact that he’s a vampire pretending to be human, trying to build a life in their human world. It’s unfair to Elena.
1x3: Friday Night Bites
Damon: Hope you don't mind.
Stefan: What are you doing here?
Damon: Waiting for Elena to invite me in.
Elena: Oh, yeah, you can...
Stefan: No, no, no. He can't, uh... he can't stay. Can you, Damon?
Caroline: Get in here.
Stefan: We're just... finishing up.
Elena: It's fine. Just come on in.
Damon could've picked anyone to compel himself a relationship with, but I think he chose Caroline for the sake of staying close. It gives him more opportunity to help Elena uncover their truth. Stefan doesn’t want Damon anywhere near Elena because allowing him into her life essentially allows their truth in with him.
Caroline: I cannot believe that Mr. Tanner let you on the team. Tyler must be seething. But good for you. Go for it.
Damon: That's what I always tell him. You have to engage. You can't just sit there and wait for life to come to you. You have to go get it.
Caroline: Yeah, Elena wasn't so lucky today. It's only because you missed summer camp. God, I don't know how you're ever going to learn the routines.
Bonnie: I'll work with her. She'll get it.
Caroline: I guess we can put her in the back.
Damon: You know, you don't seem like the cheerleader type, Elena.
Caroline: Oh, it's just 'cause her parents died. Yeah, I mean, she's just totally going through a blah phase. She used to be way more fun. And I say that with complete sensitivity.
Damon: I'm sorry, Elena. I know what it's like to lose both your parents. In fact, Stefan and I have watched almost every single person we've ever cared about die.
Stefan: We don't need to get into that right now, Damon.
Damon: Oh, you know what, you're right, Stef. I'm sorry. The last thing I wanted to do was bring her up. Mmm.
Damon puts "life" in the context of vampirism for the sake of pushing Stefan to own his truth. Vampires don't just enjoy life, they feed on it. Damon brings up the family he and Stefan lost, just as he opened the door for Elena to look at photo albums and home movies. Zach and Sarah are the only remaining relatives they have because the two of them killed the rest. Stefan immediately tries to shut the door Damon opened. He won't even talk about the relatives they’ve lost at the risk of Elena learning their truth. That's when Damon decides to bite in with Katherine again.
Damon: I like you. You know how to laugh. And you make Stefan smile, which is something I haven't seen in a very long time.
Elena: Earlier, did you mean... Katherine?
Damon: Mm-hmm.
Elena: How did she die?
Damon: In a fire. Tragic fire.
Elena: Recently?
Damon: It seems like it was yesterday.
Elena: What was she like?
Damon: She was beautiful. A lot like you in that department. She was also very complicated and selfish and at times not very kind, but very sexy and seductive.
Elena: So which one of you dated her first?
Damon: Nicely deduced. Ask Stefan. I'm sure his answer differs from mine.
Damon is as honest as he's willing to be without revealing their truth, which I do believe he's expecting Stefan to tell. He again speaks to sight because Elena is a doppelganger. He purposefully tells her to ask Stefan which one of them dated Katherine first because he wants her to confront Stefan for the sake of learning their truth. The best way to get Stefan to face the truth of what he is, is to first have him admit what he is to others rather than reveal that truth for him.
Elena: Tonight wasn't so bad. I had fun.
Stefan: Hmm. That makes one of us.
Elena: Come on. Your brother isn't as bad as you make him out to be...
Damon: You want me I get to you. You find yourself drawn to me. You think about me even when you don't want to think about me. I bet you even dreamed about me. And right now... you want to kiss me.
Elena: What the hell? I don't know what game you're trying to play with Stefan here, but I don't want to be part of it. And I don't know what happened in the past, but let's get one thing straight... I am not Katherine.
Damon using vampire tricks on Elena is another great way to push the truth. Stefan and Elena are supposed to be dating, so either Stefan allows her to believe she willfully cheated on him when she kissed Damon, or he’s all but forced to tell her Damon used vampire mind control. Or perhaps he would’ve been willing to claim Damon drugged her.
1x4: Family Ties
Damon: The original Salvatore brothers. Our ancestors. Tragic story, actually.
Stefan: We don't need to bore them with stories of the past.
Elena: It's not boring, Stefan. I'd love to hear more about your family.
Damon offers Stefan a chance to be honest with Elena by opening the door to tell their story in narrative form. Similar to Raymond on The Blacklist, when they put him on the stand to testify. When put in narrative form, it allows the speaker to lie without lying. Too afraid of revealing their truth, Stefan is quick to shut that door.
Damon: I want to apologize to you for being such a world-class jerk the other night when I tried to kiss you. There's no excuse. My therapist says I'm... acting out, trying to punish Stefan.
Elena: For what?
Damon: It's all in the past. I don't even want to bring it up. Let's just say that the men in the Salvatore family have been cursed with sibling rivalry. And it all started with the original Salvatore brothers. The Salvatore name was practically royalty in this town. Until the war. There was a battle here -
Elena: The Battle of Willow Creek.
Damon: Right.
Elena: I know, we talked about it in class. Confederate soldiers fired on a church with civilians inside.
Damon: What the history books left out was the people that were killed - they weren't there by accident. They were believed to be union sympathizers. So some of the founders on the confederacy side back then wanted them rounded up and burned alive. Stefan and Damon had someone they loved very much in that church. And when they went to rescue them, they were shot. Murdered in cold blood.
Elena: Who was in the church that they wanted to save?
Damon: A woman, I guess. Doesn't it always come down to the love of a woman?
Elena: Look, I'm sorry that you and Stefan have this thing between you, but I can't get in the middle of it, Damon. I just... I hope you two can work it out.
Damon: I hope so too.
Damon gets Caroline to dance with Stefan because he plans to kill two birds with one stone. An apology first and foremost because he tried to kiss her. It also gives him the opportunity to tell her more about Katherine and the church fire. Doing this pushes Elena to confront Stefan about Katherine - again.
Damon: How good are you at getting this little nose where it doesn't belong?
Caroline: Oh, I'm excellent.
Caroline: And Damon's not dangerous. You know, he just has a lot of issues with his brother. You know, like major, deep-rooted drama.
Bonnie: Like...?
Caroline: I'm not really supposed to say anything.
Bonnie: Caroline Forbes, when have you ever kept a secret in your life?
Caroline: Okay. But you can't tell Elena.
Bonnie: No.
Elena: Tonight's going to be a good night, but don't let that stop you from telling me whatever it is you wanted to tell me as soon as you walked in the door.
Bonnie: What if I tell you in the morning? I don't want to ruin the night.
Elena: Bonnie, out with it.
Bonnie: Okay, but it has to go in the vault because Caroline will kill me if it gets back to Damon that she squealed. Apparently, Stefan has a very interesting backstory. Do you know what happened with his ex-girlfriend, Katherine?
Elena: I know that they both dated her and that's why they have issues.
Bonnie: Yeah, they both dated her, only she chose Damon. And that drove Stefan mad, so he did horrible things to try and break them up. He manipulated Katherine. He filled her head with all these lies until finally it worked, and she turned against Damon.
Elena: That sounds like one person's side of the story, meaning Damon's.
Bonnie: I just wanted you to know.
Elena: Anyway, his past relationships are none of my business.
Bonnie: Unless he's a calculating, manipulative liar. That is your business.
Elena: Stefan is none of those things.
Bonnie: Yeah? How do you know?
Bonnie: This is my fault. I planted doubt. I'm a doubt planter.
Knowing how teen drama works, Damon doubles-up in this episode for the sake of Elena learning their truth. While he very much planned to have a moment with her, he also planted a very nasty seed with Caroline. An obvious lie, but Elena wouldn't question Stefan about Katherine if Bonnie only fed her good things about his role in their love triangle. Pushing a nasty seed is sure to push Elena to find out if Stefan is a calculating, manipulative liar. She'll find out he's not, but it still offers her the opportunity to find out he's a vampire.
Stefan: I hope Damon didn't drive you too crazy.
Elena: No, actually, he was on good behavior. He even apologized and explained why he is the way he is. And it all goes back to Katherine.
Stefan: Hmm.
Elena: So tell me about her. What happened?
Stefan: It's not something I like to talk about.
Elena: I get that. I do. I just want you to know that you can. I mean, I burden you with all of my drama, and I want you to do the same.
Stefan: I know. Thank you.
Elena: The truth is, Stefan... I don't really know that much about you, and I'd really love it if you would open up to me.
Stefan: Damon said something, didn't he? He likes to play games and cause trouble, Elena.
Elena: This isn't about Damon, it's about me trying to get to know you. Look, you're the mystery guy, and I like that. But with mystery comes secrets, and this thing with Katherine...
Stefan: Let it go. I don't want to talk about it.
Elena: Well, then, say something about yourself. Anything. Otherwise, I'm left with nothing but what other people tell me.
Stefan: Don't you see what Damon has done here? He's trying to get you to turn against me.
Elena: Well, then, I guess it's working.
This is the result of Damon’s double-up. It’s not about Damon turning Elena against him, it’s about Stefan giving her the truth. The point of her saying she doesn’t know that much about him, that she’s trying to get to know him. She doesn't know Stefan as she should know him, as I truly believe Damon wants her to know him.
Elena: There are bruises all over Caroline's body. Bite marks, and he has her all confused and messed up in the head. You don't look surprised.
Stefan: Um... I'm handling it.
Elena: Handling it? Stefan, you should be having him arrested.
Stefan: Elena, please. I... I don't expect you to understand.
Elena: I don't understand anything, Stefan. So why don't you just clear it up for me?
Stefan: Look, there are things that you don't know, okay? Things that I want to tell you, but I can't. And I may never be able to. And I just need you to trust me.
Elena: Trust is earned. I can't just magically hand it over.
Stefan essentially admits that he may never be able to tell Elena he's a vampire, and says this while trying to build a relationship with her. That's not how relationships work. At the same time, Damon is upset that Elena saw Caroline's bite marks because he knows Stefan will continue hiding their truth while he's painted as a man who tears into women for the hell of it. Damon has every right to be upset because that's exactly what happens. Stefan and Elena are enjoying a day of Sexy Suds, while she still has no idea they’re vampires. From Elena’s perspective, Damon is a man that sunk his teeth into Caroline. In reality, he’s a vampire about to desiccate in the cellar while Stefan plays high school human.
1x5: You're Undead to Me
Damon: But I just wanted to let you know, they caught the culprit. The animal responsible for killing coach Tanner and all those people.
Stefan: What are you talking about?
Damon: It was a mountain lion. Really big one. It attacked a hunter this morning. It's all over the news. "Deadly beast captured. All's well in Mystic Falls."
Stefan: Why would you cover your tracks?
Damon: I've decided to stay a while.
Stefan: During the dark ages when a vampire's actions threatened to expose or bring harm upon the entire race, they would face judgment. They sought to reeducate them rather than to punish them.
Desiccation isn't a form of reeducation, but a form of punishment. Stefan isn't desiccating Damon because he's at risk of exposing them to the council. He's desiccating Damon because he's at risk of exposing them to Elena. Stefan plans to desiccate Damon for 50 years because he doesn't want Elena learning their truth. 50 years is a promised lifetime pretending to be human with her.
Damon: You won. You got the bad guy. Now nothing can come between you and Elena. Except the truth. The lies will catch up to you, Stefan. As long as you keep lying to yourself about what you are.
He wants Elena to learn their truth, to know she’s dating a vampire.
Matt: I'm not saying this for you. I'm saying it for her. But she's big on trust. So whatever you're holding back from her, the more you try to hide it, the more she won't stop ‘til she figures it out.
Elena: People are supposed to be who they say they are. And not lie or hide their true selves.
Three pieces of Elena's little flashback segment were given to her by Damon. Clues he left for her and Stefan to sort out.
Girls bitten...
Bodies drained of blood...
Elena: Did she say what kind of animal it was?
Matt: She said it was a vampire.
Stefan silenced Damon, so the old man Elena talks to speaks on Damon’s behalf, and speaks on his behalf while introducing his Augustine storyline. Stefan doesn't admit the truth until Elena confronts him with it, and he's like this throughout most of their relationship. Damon spent this episode locked up, so he has yet to know she knows.
1x6: Lost Girls
Vicki: I am so over Tyler, so over him. I knew from the beginning that I was only a piece of ass to him, but I thought maybe if he got to know me better, he might see something more. But no. Now, Jeremy, on the other hand... that's all he's ever seen in me is something more, and I like that.
Damon: Jeremy, huh? Elena's brother?
Vicki: Yeah, yeah.
Vicki: And I'm going home now.
Damon: Ok, fine. I'm just warning you. Actually, you know what? You should go. In fact, if I were you, I would stop by your boyfriend Jeremy's house.
Vicki: Yeah, whatever.
Damon: Bye. Tell Elena I said hi. And if you see Stefan, tell him to call me.
Damon has no idea Elena knows they’re vampires. In this episode, he pulls his biggest move yet. He sends Vicki to Elena’s house while she’s in transition and needing to feed on human - that’s how bold he is with her learning their truth.
Damon: You're afraid of me. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess. Stefan finally 'fessed up.
Elena: Stay away from me.
Exactly what Damon wanted. He could’ve easily told Elena himself, but it’s Stefan’s truth to tell. He’s just pushing Stefan to tell it, as he should because Elena deserved to know. Silence is just as deadly, Jenna is perfect example of that.
Damon: Don't look at me with those judgey little eyes. Girl's gonna thank me for what I did to her.
Elena: Did you thank Katherine?
Damon: Mmm. Got the whole life story, huh?
Elena: I got enough.
Damon: Oh, I doubt that.
Seismic. Damon already got a taste of what their relationship will look like, and given her current level of ignorance to his choice in becoming a vampire, he knows she’ll never get the whole story from Stefan.
Stefan has no more say over how Damon lives his life than Damon has say over how Stefan lives his. But this is what happens when Stefan decides to get territorial over a girl he's trying to date, and all the while, hiding the fact that he's a vampire.
With Stefan, Elena gets his best before his worst. With Damon, she gets his worst before his best. Damon and Elena are undoubtedly the most honest pair on the show because they built from the ground up starting in the first season, starting with Damon being true to what he is rather than what he used to be.
"And I looked, and behold a pale horse
And his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him"
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Brahman and LilDarkie’s departure from the idea of “LilDarkie” with a close look at the idea of “are you ready?”
Mixing rap and rock is a very very fun idea for me and it hits the spot CORPSE does without the gamer LED setup and his little cat ears. This is more of sound analysis without that much parsing through lyrics. I think with his recent releases of songs like “banana pie” he's going for more heartfelt angst with the tonal tag of a three wolves howling at the moon, coming from a 2020 perspective, in the same way CORPSE does it, and CORPSE is the sex icon of our generation for it. And honestly CORPSE is both underrated and overrated with people missing the absolute gem of “fuK u lol” and how it really encapsulates the idea of his spotify picture, it really is a “fuK u lol.” Very y2k without the tiktok.
I love how this genre of edgy boy music can be summed up in animated music videos. Being able to be actually soulful with an understanding of what the aesthetic is and how that plays into music. What “LilDarkie” now “Brahman” has over CORPSE is having more grit and less anime (which is ironic since I tend to prefer grit but love the anime music videos after y2k and I’m an ironic baddie). But said grit can lead to the stranger sounds of his guitar soul music Brahman now makes. Looking at his instagram Brahman is genuinely doing a full 180 from his previous persona dropping most of his trademarks to focus on his Indian blood heritage. Also as a tidbit on his insta he's seen doing a lot of wellness therapy which I find pleasing, self care seems to be much needed and I’d like to think it plays into the irony of HOLOCAUST without mentioning Hitler a single time.
His “big announcement” of who he is now and how he still has the “idea of LilDarkie” is in “are you ready?” which is very funny considering how it starts w/ “hahaha” and how it goes right into a CORPSE guitar solo which honestly is one of the freshest takes in current music and will be remembered fondly being put right in the niche where older music is just passing from cringe and into retro, where y2k music (like rave girl just not as universal) is going to come back into mainstream through it being paved in by CORPSE (please make more music we need you). But considering its LilDarkie I don’t think he’d give a single shit since he’s the man who made HOLOCAUST. My giddy around this new song is how it feels like hes stomp kicking his old fans who crowded around his persona of “HOLOCAUST” and “GENOCIDE” even with them being amazing songs which can be fun to critique on a social standing, to be done at a later date. What I hope is bringing back the skype days of the y2k genre, less glitz and glam and more of skype and anime posting with the same full-heartendess of a furry. If you were online in the early days you know what I’m talking about, it's My Immortal done right.
It feels like his newer stuff on Brahman can be seen as more “hidey” with his song “reminding” being a soulful guitar solo which he known to make. I find that fascinating and what has changed in him. Listening to his newest if not last album under the persona of Lil Darkie is just a social critique of society in general with the line “did the FBI calcify your third eye?” being the perfect line for his album with the context of “hehe funny hat.” He now has my soul and being with HUMANS AND MONSTERS being his best song of all time please devour me along with the earth and your Little Darkie realness. Also Lil Darkie flexing his platinum plaque is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen and all I do is squeal like a tumlbrina fangirl begging more more HOLOCAUST with a PC culture layover.
But considering the social critique his latest came off as I can fully see how he started to transition to a more soulful sound as a palette cleanser since he too, is a human being. Also consider his last song on this banger of an album is “it never gets better”
Glad youre in therapy Brahman, may you spend your time wisely soulfully and really tune into the ice that the blue filter brings into y2k internet and genuine feelings on myspace. You have enough clout and soul to carry it
Love
Tumblrina fangirl who hopes you mention her to your therapist, I am a fangirl after all
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since we’re officially a few weeks into second semester and i’ve had to write another paper by now, i thought it was about time i shared some precious knowledge for the benefit of the greater good.
some basic things i can’t believe no one taught us:
wikipedia IS NOT EVIL. repeat after me. wikipedia IS NOT EVIL. just be smart about using it. (hear me out on this one.)
it can oftentimes be a great place to start because you can get a quick, simple summarization on the topic you’re trying to learn about.
make sure to check out the bibliography at the bottom---a lot of those sources are credible (which means you can cite them in your work!) and can provide further reading/context.
there are a lot of linked topics within the articles---read up on those too if they’re relevant (for a better overall understanding/extra background knowledge).
just don’t quote or paraphrase from wikipedia (the same goes for any other non-scholarly source) and cite it as a source in your paper---your teacher/prof may or not murder you, knowing this site can be edited by their four-year-old child lol.
put quotation marks around specific words (like names, dates, etc.) to narrow down your search results in case the ones that pop up first are irrelevant or too general.
narrow down domains by sticking site:.edu, site:.org, etc. to the end of a search instead of manually sifting through blogs and a bunch of “unusable” stuff.
explore the other advanced search options that don’t have shortcuts by googling something > settings > advanced search to narrow things down based on language, region, publication date, usage rights, etc.
use ctrl+f on articles to find the most relevant passage(s) if you read through the first paragraph and think “yea man this ain’t it” or if the page is super long/wordy. this will save you a lot of wasted time.
figure out how to do a split screen and snap windows on your device! this is great for taking notes during a video/documentary or when manually retyping something that you can’t copy+paste while looking at the source for reference. it’s alt+[ or alt+] for chromebooks and windows key+left arrow key or windows key+right arrow key for windows pcs (google it if you have a mac---didn’t want to give out info i couldn’t test myself).
RECORD ALL (ALL) THE RELEVANT SOURCES YOU ENCOUNTER while you research. i don’t know how many times i’ve read a tidbit of information and didn’t think i’d use it later but then spent like an hour scrolling and clicking through my history to find the right site because it turned out i did need/want that piece of information later once i changed the direction i was going in. my method: pasting the link on a doc and writing a little reminder below it about what info it contains/what i would use it for.
if you’re extra lazy, use the docs.new shortcut to create a new google doc.
when citing, WAIT UNTIL YOU’RE DONE WRITING and then use a generator (fyi: i like easybib.com and hate the google docs add-on) to get the brunt of the work out of the way, edit any incorrect blanks, add to ones you have extra info for, and PROOFREAD THE FINAL CITATION while referencing the criteria of your standard (whether that’s chicago, apa, mla, or whatever) using owl.purdue.edu, as mistakes *do* happen, and you don’t wanna get docked points for something as simple as a citation.
remember you’ll have better results if you stop using a ton of filler words and punctation just to be grammatically correct---use fragments or list key words instead when you search things that are harder to find.
reword and reorder the words in your search in several ways. don’t give up right away if you can’t find things---you’ve gotta show some resilience.
read past the third result. please. i can’t stress this enough, considering how many people i know that don’t do this. you have to realize some things just take digging.
explore “related searches” that are suggested at the bottom. even if they’re not as specific as yours, they might pull up different/more results bc they’re common searches!
there are ways to get through paywalls. i’m *not* saying you should go find the loophole links on tumblr... i’m definitely not saying that *at all*.
#research#researching#research tips#research essay#research paper#research project#tips#essay#paper#project#resource#academia#student#studying#study#studyblr#study tip#study tips#reference#ref
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Of Mistakes Past and Missing Home
Of Moments of Life AU
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“You enjoy painting.”
The voice came from behind Boulder, and the unexpectedness of it made him startle. Which, in turn, made him jerk and drag his paintbrush across his canvas. The result of which was him turning a small cloud above a red and orange flower field into a streak that cut through the whole picture. Oops. That wasn’t what he’d been intending.
He turned to see who had spoken, his optics shuttering with surprise when he realized it was Dreadwing. He was quick to realize that the Seeker’s expression had quickly shifted to one of regret.
“I apologize, youngling. It seems I caused you to ruin your art.”
Boulder only smiled, shaking his helm. “It’s no big deal.” he assured. “Part is the artistic process is making mistakes and having to start over. I did it a lot, in the beginning.” He glanced at the canvas, tilting his helm. “But that doesn’t mean every mistake requires you to start over from scratch. That’s the great thing about painting.” he remarked distractedly, tilting his helm in the other direction. “Sometimes, a mistake can be turned into something new, maybe even something better.” he narrowed his optics, then they lit up with a realization. “Sometimes,” he repeated. “All you need,” he reached out, then turned the canvas around so what had once been the flower field was now at the top of the painting. “Is a new perspective.”
When he glanced back, Dreadwing didn’t seem to understand. Boulder smiled. “Let me show you.”
He picked up his paintbrush again, then lifted it and in a few short strokes he added to the stripe that sliced through the picture he’d been painting. He changed colors, adding some more careful strokes around that, and stepped back. It would need refining, but the shape and idea of what he was going for were there.
“See? It’s a feather in the sunset, now.”
Dreadwing only blinked. “I suppose, though I’m afraid I do not much understand art. I always preferred to read data pads and learn about various fields of study.” There was a pause. “Skyquake enjoyed art.” It was a quiet addition.
Boulder found his smile softening. “Yeah? You’ll have to tell me about it sometime.” he encouraged. He glanced at his canvas. “I like art. There’s no set way to do it and there’s not much penalty for making mistakes. It’s nice.”
The Seeker hummed. “Do you believe most mistakes can be fixed with a new perspective?”
Boulder blinked, frowning. There was something off in Dreadwing’s tone. The others might not pick up on it, but he was good with other bots. He always had been. “…this isn’t just about painting anymore, is it?”
Dreadwing startled, surprise making his field flare. “You are far more perceptive than your teammates.” he said after a moment.
Blades smiled, turning to fully face the flyer. “Blades gets too anxious and wrapped up in his own helm to really pick up on more subtle emotions, Chase can barley understand the complexities of his own feelings, let those of alone others, and Heatwave is too proud and headstrong to really know what to look for. They’re all good bots, and I care about them a lot, but they aren’t the most..”. he searched for the right word. “Emotionally intelligent. Blades can read others really well when he isn’t swept up in his worries, but the other two are a bit hopeless.” He wasn’t saying it to be mean or to criticize. It was just the way his friends were wired, he knew. They were naturally better than him at a lot of other things. It was just how things were.
Dreadwing nodded, acknowledging his words. “You are correct. It is not just about painting. But it is my burden to bare, and I will not trouble you with my struggles.”
Boulder chuckled. “Well that’s a bad idea.” he said lightly. “You’ve already helped us a lot. Chase told the team what you did for him. We’ve all seen what you’ve done for Blades. Why don’t you let us help too? You’re one of us now, it’s gotta be about give and take.”
Dreadwing stared. “Wise words for one so young.” he sighed. “Very well, I will share my thoughts.” he vented harshly, then stared intently at the painting Boulder had been working on. “My mistakes are many, and brutal, and not nearly as neat or benign as a misplaced streak of paint. I suppose I merely cannot see how a new perspective would fix them.” he said after a moment.
Boulder was quiet, before he lifted his gaze. “Can I offer my thoughts?” At Dreadwing’s nod, he continued. “You’ve made a lot of mistakes. You’ve done a lot of terrible things. I don’t doubt that. And I know there are a lot of Autobots who would want to see you pay for those mistakes.” he tilted his helm. “I don’t know the full scope of the War. I don’t know everything you’ve done. But I do know how bad off Cybertron was before we left it.” The Seeker shot him a startled look, and he smiled a little sadly,
“I didn’t join the Rescue Force just because I wanted to help others, Dreadwing. In fact, in the beginning, my motives were entirely selfish.” he explained. “When I got to the age where I’d be expected to work, I was told that my first shift would be at a construction site in Kaon. It scared me. I knew how dangerous construction work was and I knew that even if it didn’t kill me it would kill my spark to be forced into something I hated so much. The only escape, the only chance I had at something different, was the Rescue Force. So I signed up to the Academy, and the day I got in was the day I escaped what I would have suffered through otherwise. The others may not have been as aware of just how bad things were, but…I was from the lower castes, Dreadwing. I knew.” he said quietly.
The Seeker was surprised, his optics wide. He saw how Boulder gradually shrunk in on himself as he spoke, and it made something unpleasant twist in him. The bulldozer was usually more at ease and bright, it didn’t suit him to look so…defeated. After a moment of thought, he put a hand on Boulder’s back and stepped closer. He knew Chase would not want more than this, but Blades preferred hugs as his method of comfort. Dreadwing didn’t know what the little green bot preferred so he wanted to play it safe. His bid seemed to pay off, because Boulder shot him a faint smile.
“What I’m getting at is, I know how bad off Cybertron really was. So even if I don’t know your exact circumstance, I do have an idea of what might have pushed you over the edge. I did originally come from Nyon, after all. Granted, I came from one of its nicer quadrants, but…it was still Nyon.” Boulder sighed. Nyon, at one time, had been the cultural and religious center of Cybertron, rivaling Praxus in beauty and grandeur. But under Zeta Prime, Sentinel’s predecessor, it had fallen into near-total ruin. “You made mistakes, and some bad choices, but you only did it in the end when you were backed into a corner and had nowhere else to go. Your choice was the only one you had that would let you remain alive, and that was wrong. No one should have to choose between death and living life serving a tyrant.”
Dreadwing hadn’t explicitly said any of this, of course. But Boulder was perceptive, like the Seeker himself had said. He’d read between the lines. He had understood what Dreadwing hadn’t been saying. It was one of the reasons he’d so quickly accepted the large bot as a new fixture in their lives. In his optics, this was Dreadwing’s chance at a life he should have had to begin with.
“That doesn’t change what you did, but it adds context. And given that the War destroyed Cybertron and decimated our people…” Which had been another thing Optimus had opted not to tell them. Dreadwing had had to share that particular tidbit. “Well, the War has to end someday, and if it ends in Autobot victory then we can’t afford to lock up every ‘Con. I don’t think there’s enough Cybertronians left for that.”
He realized he hadn’t yet gotten around to answering Dreadwing’s statement, and embarrassment flushed through him. “You made mistakes. That’s true. But context adds perspective. And you have a chance here to prove to anyone in the future who would want to hold your past against you that you can do better. Griffin Rock is your trial run. Heal, relearn how to live without War, and make amends while you’re here. Then, when everything comes to an end and the dust settles, it’ll be a lot harder for people to say that you never tried to make things right or that you’re unwilling to change.” he looked up to meet Dreadwing’s gaze. “Prove to yourself that you can be better than who you used to be, and when the time comes for you to face your mistakes, everyone will see that you have what it takes to make it right.”
Dreadwing was frozen, and Boulder found himself smiling at the hints of shock in his field and gaze. “I…had not considered those points.” the Seeker admitted after a long minute.
Boulder chuckled. “New perspective, remember? I just so happened to be able to provide it. That’s part of the benefit of letting yourself trust and rely on others.”
The flyer shot him an indecipherable look, and nodded. “Thank you for reminding me of that, young one. I have not been able to put such faith in another since I last saw my brother. It is good to be reminded that I do not have to handle my burdens alone.”
Boulder beamed, nodding. His somber mood was seemingly forgotten and he gestured to his painting. “Glad I could help! Now, if you don’t mind, I have sudden inspiration for this and I’d like to finish it.” he said, stepping towards the canvas.
Dreadwing let his hand drop, head tilting. “May I watch?” At Boulder’s nod, he settled on a nearby crate and watched the bulldozer work. It was oddly soothing, seeing the colors go down on the canvas, watching the patterns and shapes form into a familiar image. Into…a very familiar image.
After Boulder finished the sunset and feather, he had begun painting…the Rescue Force Headquarters. And Dreadwing picked up the longing and melancholy in the youngling’s EM field. The Seeker’s spark ached at the bulldozer’s visible grief, and he frowned. So Boulder hadn’t so easily shrugged off his earlier memories of home and his life on Cybertron. Dreadwing was not surprised to see him painting the Rescue Force HQ. From what the youngling had said, it would have been the first place he was truly free of the shackles that had threatened to bind him.
Dreadwing said nothing until Boulder finished and stepped back, and it seemed he hadn’t realized what he’d been painting until then, because when he took in the whole painting his only reaction was to let out a quiet, surprised “Oh.”
Dreadwing stepped closer, letting his own field nudge at Boulder’s, and upon finding no protest he let it curl around the youngling. Boulder’s vocalizer clicked and reset itself before he was able to speak. “I hadn’t realized…”
Dreadwing hummed softly. “You miss it.” he could tell in the aching and longing that all but swamped the bulldozer.
“I don’t know why. Like I told you, I didn’t have the happiest beginnings back on Cybertron. But I still miss it. All of it, not just the Rescue Force. Nyon, too.” he said in a whisper.
Dreadwing put a hand on his back, keeping his field soft and soothing. “It is only logical. It was your home. It shaped you and created the foundation for who you are. And I doubt all of your young life was horrible. You said you came from the better areas of Nyon.”
Boulder nodded. “Yeah.” he admitted. “The All Spark Day celebrations were always amazing. And the bots were great. We all had the same origins and the same troubles so we all just…came together. We were…like a community.” he said softly. “We all took care of each other and helped each other and even if the city wasn’t always the best, the neighborhood we lived in was actually alright, for Nyon anyway. I never starved, even if I didn’t always have the best fuel. My life wasn’t great, but…it wasn’t horrible either. I miss all the good things.”
Dreadwing bowed his head. He couldn’t fully relate. He had had no such struggles in Vos, at least not until the Senate had banned any from leaving the city, but he could understand the longing. “Cybertron is dead, but it’s children are not. And hope for our home is not gone either. Perhaps one day there will be a way to return, and even if not, we still live. Once this War ends, it will be possible to keep the life of Cybertron’s heart and culture alive, even if the planet itself cannot be repaired.” he said softly. “You did not get to know Cybertron’s death as the rest of us did, for we knew our home was dying with each day the War dragged on. We had time to come to terms with the loss. You were forced to be confronted with it in a single, harsh day. The rest of us lost Cybertron in pieces, and you lost it all at once. The loss is harder on you than it ever was on me, or any other Cybertronian involved in the War.”
He paused to let the youngling take in all he was saying, the hand on his back smoothing up and down his tightly clamped armor plating. His tone gentled. “I cannot give you back your home, and I know that reminding you of your new home here on Earth will not make the ache go away. So I will only say this: grieve as much as you want for what you lost. Mourn what you were not able to have and the things you will never get back. If you deny yourself that much, you hurt only yourself.”
Boulder was shaking faintly, his frame just a few degrees too warm from the overwhelming force of the grief was processor was buckling under, and his optics threatening to leak cooling fluid in response. He turned a wide, shining look on to the Seeker. His field probed at Dreadwing’s as if asking for comfort, and his vocalizer clicked and reset itself before he actually was able to speak. “…Blades said you give good hugs.” he said quietly, his field holding the softest undercurrent of hope.
Dreadwing only hummed, gaze softening. So that was Boulder’s preferred form of comfort. He nodded, then wrapped his arms around the shaking youngling and pulled him close to his chest.
As Boulder trembled and let himself finally mourn the loss of his home, he found only one thought on his mind.
‘He really does give good hugs.’
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And here’s the next installment in the “of moments in life” AU! I hope everyone liked it! This was fun! I have so much inspiration for this AU you have no idea.
Boulder is the most well adjusted of all the Rescue Bots. That’s why I figured he’d be the best one to help Dreadwing with his own issues. But, even then, he’s still just a kid! A kid who woke up out of a very long nap to learn that his planet is dead and everything he’s ever known has been destroyed. He hid it well, but that shook him hard.
Dreadwing now has THREE children! All he needs now to complete the set is the fire truck! He also needs proper one-on-one bonding time with his helicopter child because their first real binding experience was with everyone watching. So there is that!
Until next time, friends!
#of moments in life au#tfp#transformers prime#tfrb#transformers rescue bots#rescue bots#tfp Dreadwing#Dreadwing#tfrb boulder#rescue bots Boulder#Dreadwing lives#Boulder is the only well adjusted one of the group I SWEAR#he’s the only one who doesn’t desperately need adult help#this time it’s Dreadwing who gets therapy! :D#Boulder is homesick though#it’s a good thing Dreadwing is there to make it better!#Boulder and Dreadwing bond#Boulder gets a dad!#macadam
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Chapter 60-61: Tang Fan Gets Blisters on the Insides of His Thighs, Sui Zhou Asks Him to Take Off His Pants
Context: Sui Zhou and Tang Fan (and their respective teams) embark on their journey to He Nan Province. Tang Fan ended up having to bring along Yin Yuan Hua, one of the officials in Tang Fan’s department who he bested, and whose supervisor/shifu in the same department Tang Fan offended (for good reason!). Yin Yuan Hua’s mission on this trip is to gather evidence of Tang Fan’s wrongdoings/mistakes so he can go back and report him to higher-ups, and hopefully this will end in Tang Fan’s demotion.
Also a Note: I’m doing the first half of 61 for context (because the case is pretty complex plus all the new characters lolol) and the second half of 61 where the cute fanzhou moments are, but from now onwards Tang Fan and Sui Zhou are hanging out with each other like 24/7
AMAZING TIDBITS:
Pants stripping
Sexual innuendos
Tang Fan and his tongue licks Sui Zhou’s finger
Sui Zhou feeding Tang Fan pastries
Fanzhou shares a bed XD
Introduction Post | Masterpost
—
Highlights under the cut
Tang Fan and the rest of them set off from Jing City, and head in the direction of He Nan Province on land.
Sui Zhou left Xue Ling back in the Northern Administrative Court to hold the fort, and he himself, along with Pang Qi included, brought along 20 close guards. With Tang Fan, they head south, tasked as an imperial convoy.
Although this case is hardly the most urgent, it involves the life and death of others and also the robbery of royal and imperial tombs, so there is no time to waste. Everyone began the journey riding horses, but after rushing on the roads for two days, the disparity between the Embroidered Uniform Guards and civil officials slowly became increasingly visible.
The guards are a bunch of brash old men and have thick and tough skins. Moreover, after going through Sui Zhou’s hellish training, all of them have already been polished into people with bodies and bones of steel. That being said, even without Sui Zhou’s intensified training, for army officials like them, riding horses and rushing along is a simple thing to them.
The same cannot be said of civil officials, however. These officials spend most of their days in the courts and the hardest manual labour they have done is at most serving tea. Suddenly having to ride horses for two days consecutively, it feels as if their bodies and bones are about to fall apart. And what they could not say was that every one of them had blisters on the inside of both their thighs, and some of these have already burst and are bleeding. They hurt like burns.
As the formal lead envoy, Tang Fan of course has to act like the leader he is and grit his teeth in determination regardless of the circumstances. It does not take Sui Zhou long to discover that these civil officials can no longer go on, and orders the guards to slow down their pace. He also quickly takes out some ointment for Tang Fan and the rest to use on their wounds.
Since their leader can withstand this, the two officials under Tang Fan naturally are in no place to complain. Instead, it is Yin Yuan Hua who insists on not riding horses anymore and demands that they switch to a horse carriage.
The Embroidered Uniform Guards do not look upon these civil officials kindly, but they also know that their Sui-laoda has a good personal relationship with Tang Fan, and it is rumoured that this formal lead envoy is staying right in Sui-laoda’s house.
This Yin Yuan Hua, on the other hand, is obviously not on good terms with Tang Fan, and this is easily seen when he speaks with Tang Fan, and even when he does not speak. Both of them are not on the same side, and the guards do not dare to mock the formal lead envoy, so naturally, they focus their attention and provoking remarks onto Yin Yuan Hua instead.
One of them wriggles his eyebrows, “Aiyo, someone thinks he’s out here to sightsee, and wants to even sit on a horse carriage? Does he also want a beaded curtain? Like those esteemed ladies, or wives, when they hide half their faces, and are embarrassed even before they speak!”
Another laughs snidely, “How do you know if he isn’t a little wife? Don’t tell me you’ve seen what he looks like without clothes on?”
Earlier, their group passed by a official’s relay post, and decided to stop for a rest. Tang Fan and Sui Zhou are formal lead and co-lead envoys, and wanting to interact freely, they are unwilling to share a table with their leaders even at meals, and so Sui Zhou and Tang Fan have a table to themselves. Yin Yuan Hua and the two civil officials share another, and the rest of the guards are scattered around. So once the next table speaks, Yin Yuan Hua can hear them extremely well.
How would he not know that these people are speaking about him? Fury courses through him immediately and slamming his chopsticks on the table, he gets to his feet and says, “Who are you talking about!”
It would have been better if he did not stand up, because once he gets to his feet, his thighs cramp up immediately, sending Yin Yuan Hua into unbearable pain, and this garners the mockery of the group of guards.
Although Tang Fan doesn’t think much of Yin Yuan Hua, but on this trip, he is formal lead envoy and is also Yin Yuan Hua’s supervisor. As a leader, he needs to have the aptitude of one and so he cannot just stand by and let Yin Yuan Hua be mocked like this. He uses the other end of his chopsticks and pokes at Sui Zhou’s arm.
Sui Zhou lightly coughs and his sharp gaze sweeps over his group of men, and they immediately stop laughing, burying their heads into their rice and meal.
After their meal, Yin Yuan Hua insists on not riding horses, wanting to sit on a horse carriage and head to He Nan.
Both of the other civil officials are also suffering silently, and so turn their hopeful eyes onto Tang Fan.
With a strange expression, he asks, “All of you really want to sit on a carriage?”
The officials do not dare reply, and Yin Yuan Hua interjects, “We must have a carriage. We lower-ranked officials cannot compare to daren, we don’t have to deal with the pressure which comes with the formal lead envoy position. Comfort is of importance, and we’re not afraid of being mocked by others!”
In his words is hidden mockery at Tang Fan bringing suffering upon himself, all to salvage his pride.
Tang Fan says, “We may not have enough horses at the next relay post, so once you switch to a carriage, if you regret it, you will still have to sit in it until we reach He Nan.”
The more he says, the more Yin Yuan Hua feels that Tang Fan is deliberately making things difficult for him, and so insists on sitting in a carriage and nothing else.
He has already said this much and given them a friendly reminder, but they will not listen, so there is nothing to do but to let them have their way. He asks the official in charge of the relay post to prepare the horse carriage.
The carriage itself is still considered quite spacious and has enough space for Yin Yuan Hua and two other officials to sit in. The official also found a driver for them, and once the carriage reaches its destination, it is just nice for the driver to return with it.
The three of them happily get on the carriage after seeing that the insides are padded with cushions, and this is definitely more comfortable than riding the horses.
In the end, just after they crossed several kilometres, Yin Yuan Hua and the rest suddenly realise why Tang Fan revealed that indescribable expression earlier after they insisted on sitting in a horse carriage. Because this is even more shaky and turbulent than riding a horse…
Yin Yuan Hua regrets as he finally gets a taste of what it means to strike his own foot with a rock he’s moving.
Not only just him, but both Cheng Wen and Tian Xuan, are regretting their decision immensely.
It is such a turbulent journey, and just before their souls are shaken out of their cores, they finally arrive at Gong County.
Before the group of them arrived at Gong County, the county’s magistrate had already brought his men out to the official relay post right next to the official’s travel channel early on to wait for them.
“Daren, how about you come in and rest your feet?” the county deputy, who has also come out to welcome the group, cannot help but ask the magistrate, who is pacing back and forth so much it’s making him dizzy.
Aside from the deputy and other officials, which include both low and high ranking ones, plenty of other well-known gentlemen also wanted to accompany them originally, but were all rejected by the magistrate. He is facing so many cases right now, how would he have any more energy to bring these people along and let them create trouble in front of him?
Before his trustworthy deputy, the magistrate does not hide his face full of worry, “Hai, laodi ah, it’s not like you don’t know, these envoys are not here to sightsee, they’re here to investigate a case. At the end of the day, trouble happened to the imperial tombs within my jurisdiction, and if we don’t handle this properly, I will not be able to keep this futou of mine!”
The deputy advises, “Daren, it is futile for you to be frustrated about this, you might as well cooperate well with the envoys, and then ask them for a favour so they can go back and help put in a good word for you, who knows, this huge matter may turn into a small one!”
The magistrate sighs, “That’s all I can do at this point. I’m such an unlucky magistrate, the former magistrate and the one before him left a huge mess of things when they passed on their positions, and the imperial tombs were left untouched, but these messes I still had to deal with! No one knew of my efforts, and now that the imperial tomb is involved, the responsibility for this has instead fallen onto my head!”
Which official has not been dragged into one or two terrible events, thinks the deputy. How is it possible for an official to have a smooth career all his life, it is the magistrate who was afraid of trouble in the first place, and now he is complaining about this instead of thinking about how to properly suck up to the incoming imperial envoys. What future can he count on like this?
Unfortunately he is the man’s subordinate and although these are his true thoughts, he still ends up properly reassuring his magistrate.
In the midst of their conversation, a group of men and horses approach from the distance and gradually slows down, the dust picking up around them, and behind, it looks like there is a horse carriage accompanying the group as well.
The magistrate and his deputy head out, and a minor official comes over with news, saying that the people ahead are indeed the imperial envoys.
“Quickly accompany me to fetch them!” the magistrate says, adjusting his uniform and hat.
The speed of the horse carriage is not fast and Sui Zhou’s subordinates in front seem to have deliberately slowed down to wait for the carriage at the back, and only after a minute or so does the whole group, which was already visible from a while ago, arrive.
Right in the middle of the other Embroidered Uniform Guards, a young man wearing a Rank Five uniform and an Embroidered Uniform Guard wearing a feiyu uniform are surrounded.
The magistrate quickly approaches them and offering both his hands in greeting, he says, “Gong County Magistrate He Hao Si greets the imperial envoy!”
Although he is unsure who is actually the formal lead envoy, but this greeting will certainly do no wrong.
The official document sent by the Department of Justice also clearly says that the lead envoy is the department’s overseeing langzhong in Henan’s Qing Li Si, Tang Fan, and the co-lead is the Embroidered Uniform Guards’ acting zhen fu shi, Sui Zhou. However, since both lead and co-lead envoys are here, then who is the one sitting in the horse carriage at the back?
Could it be an even more important person?
Magistrate He cannot help but look towards the back.
Instead, he sees the Embroidered Uniform Guard next to the civil official move backwards a little to put some distance between them, indicating the difference in status between him and the civil official. He opens his mouth and affirms Magistrate He’s guess, “This is Henan’s Qing Li Si langzhong, Tang-daren, and he is the formal lead envoy.”
Tang Fan wearily gets off his horse and returns Magistrate He’s greeting, “Magistrate He does not need to stand on ceremony, we have been on the roads for days, shall we first find a place to sit and talk?”
“Yes yes yes!” Magistrate He returns to himself, and hurriedly says, “This official has already readied the relay post, and also asked them to prepare food and hot water. I’d like to ask everyone to move into the city, it is not far away from here.”
Tang Fan nods, “Then I’ll have to trouble Magistrate He to show us the way.”
***
“Come over here.”
Tang Fan takes a look at the ointment in his hands, and cannot help but laugh, the sound dry, “You see, I’ve used the bandages for so many days, it’s almost healed, so I don’t need to put it on anymore, it’s uncomfortable!”
Sui Zhou’s face is cold, “Come over when I tell you to come over, whether or not it has healed, wouldn’t you know best?”
Of course he has not yet healed.
Tang-daren’s face falls, and he slowly ambles his way over.
“Lie down, take off your pants and pick up your shirt.”
“…”
No matter the circumstances, this conversation sounds only too intimate, and if anyone were to pass by on the outside, it’s likely they will misunderstand, but the reality could not be further from that.
Tang Fan’s physique is not much better than Yin Yuan Hua and the rest, and he has ridden on a horse for so many days consecutively. Naturally, he is unable to withstand this, but sitting in a horse carriage is worse, and he knows that just by seeing the way Yin Yuan Hua threw up. In comparison, it is only his butt and the sides of both his thighs that hurt riding the hose, and not his whole body. Weighing between both to see which is more important, as the biggest lead in this mission, Tang-daren would rather suffer than lose all pride like the way Yin Yuan Hua did.
This is called suffering as one would rather die than lose pride and face.
The posterior is one thing, as it is shaken here and there; the area is a bit thicker, so it doesn’t matter as much. The main thing is the insides of his thighs, which has been subjected to endless friction and movement in contact with the horse. Blisters formed, and then bled when the skin was broken through.
It is a must to put some ointment on if he is hurt, and in the beginning, Tang Fan was worried of losing face, too embarrassed to ask for help, until Sui Zhou forcibly restrained him to put the medicine on.
Now, having to put on a fresh round of ointment every night has become something that Tang-daren is most reluctant to do.
If he could choose, he figures he would rather go to the Luo River and warmly face the River God there, than to lie flat on the bed like this with both legs spread open, his pants taken off and his shirt picked up, letting Sui Zhou change the bandages around his injured parts.
Although they are both men and the parts he should have, he has, and the parts that he should not have, he does not have, but Tang Fan just feels incredibly uncomfortable. Staring at the ceiling above him, he disassociates, only to hide his embarrassment.
Sui Zhou seems to be able to see through his thoughts and finds it really hilarious inside, but on the surface, he retains his stoicism. Circling the bandage around Tang Fan’s legs, he pretends to accidentally brush his eyes past Tang Fan’s groin, peering at it for a moment, before saying, “The form is not bad.”
Even though Tang Fan is pretending to be dead, he is still conscious and attentive, and the moment the other’s words sound in his ears, he cannot help but go red in both his face and ears, and furious, he says, “How dare you, assessing the lead envoy like this, do you not want to live anymore?”
Sui Zhou goes ‘oh’, and then, “I am an envoy too.”
“You’re a co-lead, and I am the lead, cut out the nonsense, you should strip and let this official assess yours as well!”
Sui Zhou, “You are certain you want to see?”
“Of course!”
He thought Sui Zhou would come up with an excuse to refuse, but who knew the other simply stands up without another word, and reaches out to loosen his trousers belt.
Tang Fan hurriedly says, “ Forget it, forget it, I know you’re smaller than me, if your ego takes a hit later this is not good, all men want to save face, so I will go easy on you this once.”
“No matter, I do not mind,” Sui Zhou returns.
“…”
Sui Zhou only wants to tease Tang Fan, he is not this despicable. And seeing that Tang Fan is about to explode in anger, Sui Zhou goes with the flow and stops. He brings a plate of pastries over from the table, picks up one, and personally brings it to Tang Fan’s mouth.
Under the dim glow of the candle light, Tang Fan cannot see the shape of the clear jujube cake, but the flavour as it enters his mouth is extremely good. Sour and sweet, and for a moment, it is a familiar taste to him, similar to the one the cooking lady at home made when he was younger.
He cannot help but curl his tongue, reaching for the rest of the pastry piece, only to sweep across Sui Zhou’s finger accidentally. The other freezes slightly, and snatches his hand back quickly.
Tang Fan does not take this to heart, and instead squints as he fully savours the flavours on his tastebuds. He nods, and praises, “The pastry that Deputy Zhao chose is really not bad! It is a pity this place is filled with evil, and such good pastries are wasted here. We may have to start rushing about sometime in the middle of tomorrow night!”
Sui Zhou gets him to wear his trousers properly, and bends down himself to adjust the bedsheets and covers. He asks, “You saw something amiss?”
Tang Fan shoves another piece of jujube cake into this mouth and instead of answering him, responds with a question, “You can see it too?”
“Don’t eat too much, or you won’t be able to sleep later,” Sui Zhou frowns and nags. Then, “That old man seems suspicious.”
Tang Fan nods, and opens his mouth, about to speak, but because the cake slides into his throat, he ends up almost choking to death. He brings his hand up, holding onto his throat and the whites of his eyes can be seen.
Exasperated, Sui Zhou goes over to pat at his back, then gives him a cup of tea, “How did you actually survive the past twenty years?”
Drinking the tea and sending the cake down along with it, Tang Fan finally heaves a sigh of relief before laughing, “A menace like this official will naturally be alive for a thousand years. That old man is indeed suspicious, and although he seems incoherent when speaking, it does look more like his behaviour is deliberate.”
Sui Zhou makes a noise of assent, waiting for him to continue.
“There are a few possibilities. Firstly, those people were killed by the old village chief, but this isn’t very likely. I can’t think of a reason why he would kill all these people. Besides, he is a weak elderly, so unless he had some help, it is impossible for him to harm so many people. So let’s set this possibility aside for now.”
“Second, that old man, or even the whole village, are in cahoots with the tomb raiders, and are doing all they can to mislead us, directing us to focus on the possibility of a malevolent ghost. Maybe after the robbers raided the imperial tomb, they promised to distribute some of their loot to the villagers in exchange for their help in keeping this a secret. The people who were killed discovered this, and wanted to report them.”
Tang Fan slowly analyses that hypothesis, then shakes his head, “But this is not fully explainable. The clues that we have on hand are too little, it is very difficult to guess what the truth is.”
“There’s still one more possibility,” Sui Zhou says.
Tang Fan looks at him, and he continues, “What the old man said is true.”
“You believe in ghosts too?”
Sui Zhou shakes his head, “It might not be a ghost, but it could be something else. Whether the old village chief has truly gone insane or is pretending to be, he is definitely hiding something from us, and has not told us everything.”
Tang Fan laughs, “We tried the civil, courteous route first, and next can bring out the troops. It looks like we have to get the Embroidered Uniform Guards to take over.”
In terms of interrogations and forcibly getting confessions, there is no other group of people more adept at this than the guards. When people hear of interrogations, they often think of cruel torturous methods, but in actual fact, a lot of other methods exist in this world which will make one obediently vomit out the truth without any physical torture. These methods are most commonly used on officials who refuse to speak the truth and yet cannot be subjected to torture; a secret that is passed only within the guards and is unique.
Using it against an old man in a poor and removed village, is considered using a blade that is made for slaughtering cows, to slaughter a chicken.
Sui Zhou says, “We’ll talk tomorrow and rest now.”
Yes, it is almost the hai hour (9-11pm), and they naturally must rest.
It is quiet outside, not even the slightest sounds can be heard from livestock or dogs, and all living creatures have also descended into sleep. Saying it is entirely silent, however, is not correct. At the very least, the Luo River which is a short distance away continues to flow, day or night. The rush of water charging forth fills up their ears, but once one gets used to listening to this, it does not bother them much. Instead, it almost feels as if their troubled thoughts are being scrubbed clean by the river.
The bed space is not cramped or narrow, and is more than sufficient for two people to lie on it. Tang Fan sleeps on the inside, and Sui Zhou sleeps on the outside.
Although the both of them stay under the same roof, they have never slept shoulder to shoulder like they are doing today, previously. The both of them are really too tired, but sometimes, when one is too exhausted, it is instead more difficult to fall asleep.
Sui Zhou hears Tang Fan’s tossing and turning and says, “Turn over.”
Tang Fan does not ask why and turns over so his back is facing the other, and then he feels a warm palm cup over his jaw. Another hand slowly presses at a few acupuncture points at the back of his head.
The tension in his brain dissipates gradually, and Tang Fan moans once, comfortable. The person behind him is applying just the right amount of force, not too light, and not too heavy. He feels the pull of slumber come up as the exhaustion emerges again, and quickly enter the land of dreams.
In the middle of the night, he has a strange dream.
In it, he is walking along the dark river banks and in the vast land in the distance, many tombstones, high and low, have been erected. The wind blows past him, and along with it brings the sound of cries. The cries are devastating, as if filled with endless suffering, pain and resentment. The sound echoes in the space and then digs into Tang Fan’s ears, sending shivers down his spine.
The cries approach, coming closer and closer, closer and even closer, and suddenly, it seems like there is something behind him! The sensation is unclear to him, all he knows is that he has never felt this afraid before.
Slowly, he turns his head, and jolting, he opens his eyes.
“Don’t move,” Sui Zhou says, his voice low next to his ear, his arm stretching across Tang Fan’s waist.
Hearing his voice, the heart that was racing because of his nightmare slowly calms.
Then he quickly realises that the intolerable wails does not seem to exist just in his dreams, but is originating right from outside!
===
Notes:
*乌纱帽 wu sha mao
Also commonly called a 乌帽 (wu mao) or futou, this is the headwear for Ming dynasty officials, with a tall cylindrical top and two flaps on the sides.
*河南清吏司郎中 he nan qing li zi lang zhong
This is a full official rank. It is a little hard to find an English equivalent to this on my end so I’ve left it as that. 河南 (he nan) is a city all on its own in today’s map, and in this case it means Tang Fan is heads this particular court located in he nan. I’m not really familiar on the geography of it as well, it could just be a name for the neighbourhood or sector he’s in as well.
*镇抚使 zhen fu shi
Another official rank, where 镇抚 (zhen fu) is the Administrative Court, and 使 (shi) on its own means ambassador. In this case, it can be interpreted as chief, or some equivalent. He is not a commander yet in this case, which is a position reserved for Yuan Bin, and previously Wan Tong.
*搬起石头砸自己脚 ban qi shi tou za zi ji de jiao
This means literally to pick up a stone and smashing your own foot with it, which means inadvertently and directly causing harm to yourself with a decision you made. I left the metaphor in the translations above because it’s interesting, the imagery!
*祸害遗千年 huo hai yi qian nian
This is a common phrase used to say that a menace or evil being will survive for thousands of years, and good people are doomed to die early in a second part to this phrase.
*杀鸡用牛刀 sha ji yong niu nian
Literally means to use a blade for slaughtering a cow to kill a chicken, which also means to apply unnecessary and excessive force to a matter which requires minimal effort. Or going overboard when the matter or thing requires much lesser force.
#the sleuth of ming dynasty#tsomd#成化十四年#cheng hua shi si nian#fanzhou#suitang#sui zhou#tang fan#tsomd novel#novel translations#this is definitely one of the chaps i like more hahaha
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Yashahime Trailer Analysis - Full Breakdown + Theories
Video -
https://youtu.be/ebFV15yPO6U
The Yashahime - Princess Half-Demon Official Trailer came out August 7th Japan Time like Kaoru Wada had teased for us on the Otakon Livestream.
Here we will read off of what was posted on the VIZ Media Official Website
"The anime’s been announced, but now you can sink your canines into some more juicy tidbits about the show. The anime stars Towa and Setsuna, the twin daughters of Sesshomaru who get separated in a forest fire. Towa ends up in modern times and is raised by Sota Higurashi, Kagome’s little brother. Ten years later, they are reunited, but Setsuna is a demon slayer with no memories of her sister. Joined by Moroha, Inuyasha and Kagome’s daughter, they set off on an adventure to regain their missing past."
https://www.viz.com/blog/posts/yashahime-princess-half-demon-arrives-in-october
You guys will be able to watch Yashahime on VIZ Media's Website and AnimeLab.com when it's released.
First Impressions -
@officialkagome : “I can tell the Rumiko has a lot of influence in the writing because key points and moments are conveyed just as they were in the Final Act. I believe it's going to be condensed like in the Final Act, but maybe only at first. Focusing on the girls but still including that bonus chapter. I definitely appreciate the animation, it's very aesthetically pleasing.”
Yes, the animation is being directed by the same person who did The Final Act, Sachiya. They also were the same person that did the Adult SessRin artwork that sold it on a calender. Which I actually own. I'm glad for them to return and do the animation. As it makes sense in the continuity. The animation in fact looks even improved further than what we had since the Final Act! Definitely one of my favorite animation directors next to Kumiko.
As I mentioned in my previous video, I talked about the extra chapter "Since Then" that took place after The Final Act. It was made because of the Tsunami that happened in Japan many years ago. A long time ago, I also wrote a post saying if we continued to show our support for the official streams on VIZ Media's website and still showed interest in the series that they would make this into an episode. Back in 2018 Anime Boston it was hinted about the staff wanting to have Rumiko allowed them to make more anime if we continued to show interest. When we got ahold of the scans for the AniMage and AniMedia magazine scans we could confirm that they have been talking about a sequel since the ending of The Final Act.
In the InuYasha Special Chapter 559 "Since Then" Kagome was living in the feudal era with InuYasha for six months. We have a half year time skip.
Life in the Feudal Era so far had been peaceful. InuYasha and Miroku were tracking minor youkai that was released from a seal by a landslide, and discover that the demon actually was originally sealed away by Kikyou shortly before she met InuYasha. So we can say over atleast 53 years ago. The youkai is called Ne no Kubi or Root Head in the official VIZ Media subtitles for the trailer - and it was seeking the Shikon no Tama, not realizing it is already destroyed due to being sealed away for so long. Ne no Kubi attacks Kagome, because she clearly looks like Kikyou, but she wounds its head with a sacred arrow and InuYasha kills it with Tessaiga. During it Sesshoumaru appears to protect the village because Rin is there. We can see shots during the trailer that all take place here from this chapter.
For all those Westerners out their that use the term "canon", yes Yashahime is in Fact "canon" to the original timeline continuity. Rumiko Takahashi has been confirmed to have written the foundation story for Yashahime, and has been working closely over the scripts with Sumisawa. It is officially licensed and in no where near being a fanfiction. Remember, canon was a term that was invented by Westeners because of Christianity. Regardless, this sequel is happening.
I have so much to talk about this new trailer that it feels like even after I'm done with this video, more ideas are still going to keep popping up in my head.
Towa is seen fighting another school student. She's known for her martial arts. She kicks this guy in the head. She says "You know, you should take my advice and let me go." Talking about her possible abduction. "Things won't be so hot when my friends get here." I think she's talking to the man in the Feudal Era from the first trailer. That's when Moroha and Setsuna break into save Towa.
Then it's talking about Root Head from Chapter 559. However says "Root Head was a demon slain by InuYasha and his friends." I don't know if she's talking after it was slain. But Root Head was in fact originally sealed by Kikyou before she met InuYasha. A possible change or retcon from the Manga considering Rumiko's involvement in this. Sesshoumaru is then saying the same lines that he says from the manga "Root head... A worthless piece of vermin. Except..." If we reference the manga he's actually supposed to say Except, and then "It's too persistent."
Root Head gained the powers of the Tree of Ages (Goshinboku). This is the same Goshiboku that InuYasha was sealed on, seeing the arrow mark. If we slow down this footage you can tell that Roothead is growing in the roots of the Goshinboku. It created a passage from the Feudal Era to present day. Sucked through that passage, Towa was torn from her twin sister, Setsuna, and thrown into the present day.
But I think that is talking about AFTER Root head was slain again from it reawakening after the landslide. My guess is that IF everything does continue on the manga like normal from Chapter 559. But during the time it was reawakened it had already made a portal through a tree tunnel like it describes as in Towa's translated description that a fire happens, and everyone scatters. Even during the livestream from Otakon Kaoru Wada mentioned the fire. Towa goes to escape from the fire and finds that specific portal that sends her to the modern era. Unless they want to push the time skip further than 6 months allowing them time to have the kids. Towa is in Reiwa period, that means it's either 2019 or further making it overall a 20 year time skip since chapter 559. I expect that they have kids in a six year time skip that would make sense since they are all 14. The Tree tunnel is described in Towa's description, that means that we pretty much have a second Well. Considering the well was already made from the same type of wood as the Goshinboku was as it was talked about in the first movie. Now imagine if we had three different eras or even that certain events had changed because of this.
Here we see an Adult Souta and 4 year old Towa when he found her in the Modern Era. They're talking in front of the Sacred Tree. Towa's robe pattern is clearly based on Sesshoumaru's belt.
It looks like Souta wanted to pat Towa on the head, but Towa was scared - Then we see Towa brushing her teeth and Souta's daughter. Who looks strikingly similiar to Hitomi. I hope he married her.
Ten years have passed since the Higurashi family took Towa in. It shows Towa talking to Souta's Daughter in front of the tree. In the next shot, she's wiping the blade from her sword. In the narration Towa says "Don't worry! I can handle this." It shows Towa looking up from the original Trailer, where she's abducted. Wearing that patterned robe and the hint of the Lily flowers in the background. She says "Your big sister's pretty strong!" I think she's talking to Souta's daughter as if referencing herself. She picks up her History book and winks.
Now it shows Setsuna and Moroha fighting by a waterfall. This is definitely reminding me of some InuYasha VS Sesshoumaru scenes from the past. "My name is Setsuna. I have nothing more to tell you..." "And the reason you die here." Setsuna's eye glows similar to InuYasha's when they found out he had the black pearl inside his right eye that lead to the Inu no Taishou's grave. Everyone has been trying to figure out if there is a special thing showing in her eye. I'm not so sure but I gave it a try as well. I looked at a few pictures of the gravesite and this one seemed to be the best one.
Though I am skeptical of this. Hosenki's son explained it would take roughly 100 years for him to master the process of making one. When InuYasha had returned to his father's grave for the second time, the pearl was somehow able to give him visions of his troubled past as a way to warn him that he wasn't supposed to be there a second time. Now if we think about it, remember how Setsuna has problems with her memories? Maybe in this moment it is a black pearl, and it's showing her flashbacks helping her remember or perhaps she was given an imperfect black pearl that is causing her memory loss.
Moroha is seen sitting down picking her ear. "With this rouge, I become Beniyasha, Destroyer of Lands!" Moroha has her bow, a good nod to her mother Kagome. "Tremble before the bloodthirstydawn!" Now the rouge doesn't always have to mean lipstick, it depends on the context on which it's taken. The rouge could also mean red, the red clothing that she's wearing. If she is going to be wearing lipstick, it would be cool if they somehow were able to magically bring back the lipstick that was once Izayoi's that was given to Kikyou. I know it was destroyed, but you never know. I like the idea of her having InuYasha and Kagome's locket too from the second movie. In the past I always had the idea of their child having that locket. Maybe she's heard about InuYasha as a story or legend, and is calling him "Beniyasha". So she's pretending to be him in a way, along with the bow on her head representing ears like him.
It shows Towa in the modern era, fighting some guys. She's wearing something on trapped onto her back. Could it be her sword, or something else? My wife mentioned that in Japan, open carry of swords is legal. So I went to double check.
Yes, this is definitely got to be her sword and that she is wearing a sword bag. It has yellow tassels.
I also noticed that there is a symbol at the bottom of her sword bag. It looks like it could be a pinwheel or the Kagome symbol. There are two different versions of the Kagome symbol. 6 pointed and 8 pointed.
"A new wind blows into the Feudal Era."
We can see the Dragon symbol on Moroha's sword even more closely. The Dragon is wrapped around an arrow. During the Otakon Live stream Kaoru Wada stated that all three of the girls are the half-demon princesses. Meaning that Moroha would still be called a half-demon regardless of having less demon blood percentage especially during that era.
"The Half Demon Princesses are here!" Moroha is fighting a Mistress Centipede. Is this the same Mistress Centipede from the beginning of InuYasha, that corpse was already in the well? If we remember, Sango has fought Centipede demons before but they weren't a Mistress Centipede. She would be killed for the third time. The Mistress Centipede shown in the trailer has three eyes, while the original one has two.
It shows Hisui, Sango and Miroku's son in his demon slayer armor while riding Kirara. Throwing Hiraikotsu! One thing that stood out to me was the prayer beads around his left arm.
I don't think he has Wind Tunnel but it seems to be a reference to his father Miroku. Considering Miroku has given Kagome prayer beads to wear before. Maybe even Hisui has spiritual powers as well. It also appears that he has Sango's sword as well!
Kohaku, all grown up and he's exactly how I imagined him. It seems like he has a scar on his nose. Maybe it's from wearing his demon slayer mask or from getting cut in a battle. He has the weapon he gets from Toutousai in the last episode of the Final Act.
Moroha and Setsuna are battling. Could this be the same waterfall that Kikyou bathed at?
Moroha and Setsuna running off, Towa watching them. A guy knocked out in the background, Spider Lily pattern on the backwall, and a knocked out guy next to where the wall was bashed in. Just like how it was in the first trailer we were shown on the Otakon Live Stream.
Finally, Moroha is using her bow and yes she indeed has priestess spiritual powers like Kagome does! It looks like she's still fighting Mistress Centipede as you can see in the background. The attack is called "Heavenly Arrow Barrage". Similar name to InuYasha's Adamant Barrage.
It shows Setsuna using her Naginata. The Naginata is the weapon that can control wind as stated in her profile when her colors were announced! Much like InuYasha's Bakuryuha, or Kouga's Cyclone. It also reminds me of Sesshoumaru when he was fighting InuYasha inside the Black Pearl at the Inu No Taishou's Grave.
Feudal Fairytale - Yashahime Princess Half-Demon
Towa takes out her sword and charges while saying "Setsuna! I'll save you!"
Yashahime - Coming this October. October 3rd 2020
When we look at the image that came with the announcement. A few things caught my eye, Kagome and Rin are not seen in the picture. Sesshoumaru and InuYasha are both by the Sacred Tree. Speculating that maybe they're trapped in another dimension, or between times since Root Head was able to take the Goshinboku's power. I wonder if something like this happens, could this give Kagome the ability to not age? I'm still for my theory that she shouldn't age because she wasn't born yet, the same way her items were unaffected by Kaguya in the second movie when she froze time. People think InuYasha is holding something, no that is his forelocks and the shading on the tree. No, there is no secret image in Towa's blue sword attack. But hey we get a better look at Hisui's prayer beads on his arm.
There is a new character, everyone speculates to be Shippou and unsure of the character's gender. Looking at the HD picture.
The character has green eyes, dark red hair and purple eyeshadow. It sort of reminds me of Shippou or Ayame's possible child with Kouga. I would have said it was Takechiyo in a human form since Raccoons and Foxes are known to shape shift. But Takechiyo has blue eyes. It's not Jinenji, has blue eyes - Though I think it could be a new character. Could be boy or girl. Determining their gender is something I'm on the fence about atleast by the physical sight of it. Their body seems flat and rugged with torn sleeves, but wearing makeup. There's alot of males who wear makeup in InuYasha. Their attire also seems to be the kind that is most commonly worn by males. But Towa also is another character that dresses male. This character clearly has a weapon. More than likely a sword.
Something that's interesting about this picture is that Towa's sword is shaped like Tessaiga in the picture when she's doing her special attack. It zig zags upward like a staircase into the sky - as if representing time passed. You notice it when you realize the other characters are actually not standing on something.
Seems like we are all looking forward to October 3rd for the airing of Yashahime. If you want to see more posts about Official InuYasha News, Artworks, Merchandise, my own personal views and analysis on the series - Be sure to subscribe.
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A short(but probably long) rant about the beginning of chapter 23 and Thomas’s mental health in general:
Ps: this isn’t proofread and is likely all over the place, blame the ADHD lmao
At the beginning of chapter 23 there’s a scene where 10 year old Thomas is in the hospital waiting room, while his parents and doctor discuss his health. The doctor mentions the Thomas has OCD, that’s the first and biggest problem I have with this chapter. Let me give you all a lesson on psychology. OCD is probably one of the most misunderstood disorders out there. The main problem is people mistake OCD for OCPD. OCPD = obsessive compulsive personality disorder. You may think “okay well what’s the big deal? Aren’t they the same thing” no, they aren’t. In the DSM(diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders), the organize disorders into 5 categories, called axes:
Axis 1: clinical disorders
Axis 2: personality disorders
Axis 3: general medical disorders
Axis 4: psychosocial and environmental factors
Axis 5: the global assessment of functioning
Right now, axes 1 and 2 are the ones we will be focusing on.
OCD is an axis 1, or clinical disorder. Axis 1 disorders tend to be things that more so effect people’s moods or reactions. Examples being anxiety, depression, sleep disorders, eating disorders, and most mood related disorders. Basically, everything but personality disorders and mental retardation. People with these clinical disorders are usally well aware of their Irrational behavior and are distressed by it, actively seeking help.
OCPD is an axis 2, or personality disorders. Axis 2 disorders, as the name suggests, effect a persons personality and life as a whole. Examples being narssistic personlity disorder, mental retardation, antisocial personlity disorders, schizoid and schizotypal personlity disorder, basically, if it’s got “personlity” in the name, it most likely fits into this category. The difference between these and axis 1 disorders is they usally aren’t aware or their irrational behaviors and aren’t particularly upset by them. They usally only seek help due to friends or family
Thomas doesn’t have OCD, he has OCPD. Before I go over the differences between them, let me define two terms:
Ego dystonic: thoughts, impulses, and behaviors that are felt to be repugnant, distressing, or unacceptable with one's self-concept.(OCD)
Ego syntonic: thoughts, impulses, and behaviors that are felt to be natural or acceptable with one’s self-concept.(OCPD)
Okay now the rant like, actually begins. There’s a fuck ton of evidence the supports Thomas having OCPD and NOT OCD. OCD is a disorder charactrized by impulses and cleanliness. People with OCD usally have one or a few specific obsessions, an example being ALWAYS unlocking and relocking your front door three times before leaving, or washing your hands til they’re sore and red. People with OCD are motivated by the idea that some imaginary disaster could happen if they don’t do this. This is why OCD is considered an anxiety disorder. This is also where the fact that it’s a clinical disorder plays a large role. People with OCD actively seek out help, they don’t like the way their impulses effect their lives, OCD is an ego dystonic disorder. OCPD is much different though. Unlike OCD, people with OCPD, don’t have just a couple of rituals. The focus completely on perfectionism and control. They want everything to be orderly and under control, and have a tendency to come off as domineering. People with personlity disorders, don’t view it as a disorder and only seek help due to family and friends openly discussing that they dislike said persons behavior. They don’t view it as unnatural, that is why OCPD is a ego syntonic disorder. Off the bat there’s already a lot more similarities with OCPD symptoms and Thomas’s symptoms. Another fun little tidbit, studies show, a good number of OCPD cases may have developed due to overcontrolling, intrusive and dominating parents. Let’s look back at chapter 23 and I’ll list some example of OCPD behavior
“He had seen other kids his age--ten--scribbling stick figures when they drew, but he wanted his to look perfect. Or else what the hell was the point?” I mean come on, this literally screams obsession with perfection. He finds no interest in something less than perfect and can’t understand why anyone would be different.
“He switched his crayons from red to a black, tucking it back in the cardboard packet in the slot where it belonged.” A subtle but an example of a need for orderliness.
“He hated that there were ugly blue lines slashed through his drawing.” While the context of this scene relates to the lines reminding him of school, they also break the perfect nature of the picture
Some may argue “well if people with OCPD don’t think they’re behavior is so weird, then why is he obviously so bothered by it?” Well see, Thomas isn’t bothered by his OCPD, he’s bothered by his IED. His parents obvious concern is him becoming a surgeon, and dont get me wrong, I don’t wish OCPD upon anyone, but it seems like something 2 asshole parents would for their kid to have. People with OCPD tend to work extremely hard at their jobs, like way too hard, ruins their relationships usally. This whole situation mixed with his IED, just spells disaster. Thomas has absolutely no control in this scenario, he has no say in his medication, his dorm, his school, his studies, etc. to him, it’s not perfect, it’s not exactly how he wants it to be. This also explains why the medication really wasn’t working (and oh boy will I get to the medication part later)
I think I know why Thomas likes cars. He’s in control. To him cars are PERFECT, they’re sleek, shiny, made with no mistakes. When he’s behind the wheel, he has full control over this object that is so incredibly “perfect” he can make it go where he pleases, and go as fast as he pleases.
Now onto the medication part, oh man, fair warning and apologizes, I can already tell I’m going to get heated. Obviously Thomas is 10, so he’s going to have his parents take part in these sort of appointments. But I find it extremely hard to believe Thomas wouldn’t be in there with them. At least in the beginning to disccus any possible side effects. But okay whatever, that’s not even the part that got me mad. So we find out that Thomas is taking 9 medications and is having another one added.
I’m sorry,
What?
There is no way in hell they’re going to prescribe that much medication to a 10 year old. Sure maybe if the kid has fucking cancer, but an IED, OCD(OCPD) and migraines? Hell fucking no. And also they wouldn’t have prescribed the migraine medication “Nurtec” for a 10 year old. This is because the company that makes nurtec doesn’t know if it’s safe for children or not. And If a side effect of the Nurtec was depression, then they would have fucking taken him off of it. ITS LITTERALLY THE MAIN SIDE EFFECTS DOCTORS SAY TO PAY ATTENTION TO!!!!!!!!!!!! And this is assuming that the thing doesn’t even work, because If it did work, why would he be taking 7 other medications????? You’re trying to tell me those are all for OCD and anger mangement? I DONT FUCKING THINK SO. ITS JUST FUCKING UGHHHH THE PARENTS ARE ANNOYING AS FUCK!! PUT YOUR KID IN THERAPY AND STOP COMPARING IT TO A RUPTURED APPENDIX. FUCK THIS HAS ME SO ANGRY. ITS JUST LIKE, NOT ONLY IS THIS WHAT I WANNA GO TO COLLEGE FOR BUT ITS ALSO SHIT IVE EXPERINCED FIRST HAND. IVE BEEN TAKING SOME OF THE EXACT SAME MEDICATION THOMAS HAS SINCE I WAS 12, I KNOW WHAT THE SYSTEM IS LIKE AND THIS AINT IT. Whew sorry about that, I just feel like ranting in all caps can help you calm down a bit faster. Ok I think I’m done, if you read through all this, lol, sorry.
I’m not trying to be mean @the-hamilton-files-author trust me, I don’t expect you to know most of this stuff. It’s a complicated science that I love dearly. Very, very, dearly. :’)
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The Party - Part Seven
Looking at plants was the type to inflame a ravenous hunger. Well, anything can make one hungry, so this wasn't a new experience for him even with the new context to it. If anything, this was one of the less intense but pleasing moments in his life, where he could enjoy a meal without that lulling buzz of deja vu he kept having when it came to eating in general — veggie burgers, salads, pizzas, somewhere located with the cheerleaders with no care in the world; it was a pattern that he got used to quickly.
This time it was a bit different: there was a light squeeze in his chest, the kind that kept him warm like a fireplace even with the cold walk out of the park and the goosebumps riding his arms. It must've been Connie; he wouldn't lie that she had been a small crush of his ever since they met — it didn't help that this intensified because of that magical statue he touched a week before that, being told that it granted miracles of romance, which he was a sucker for. He could question why he had such an affinity for her but it was already there for him if he squinted hard enough. It must’ve been her warm personality. Or her intelligence. Or anything else for that matter that kept him focused to his jam bud, staying right next to her as they exited the Japanese grounds for some food.
They found the truck on the outskirts of the garden — wafting of spice and vegetable, dream catchers dangling from the overhang, makeshift tables harboring a few families and teenagers for the night. Some were talkative, but many appeared to be relaxing, enjoying the solitude as the truck took orders for plates and cups of Mexican cuisine, the clang and tussle of kitchen utensils resounding within in an enthusiastic beat.
Connie took account of the menu boards plastered above the truck's open grate, a small frown on her lips. "Do you think they have salads?"
Steven looked through the contents. There were tacos, quesadillas, customized cups of horchata, and everything in-between, but there doesn't seem to be any that would fit a description of a salad. He knitted his eyebrows, there was some case for worry here. "We could ask for non-meat stuff? I could take out the stuff if I have to."
"I know that, but," she bit her lip, flinching at a loud clang of metal from the truck's kitchen, "I have to make sure their meals don't have too many carbs or cholesterol."
Oh. He felt a bit ashamed for forgetting that one tidbit: that his jam bud had a diet stricter than his. "Wellll, we'll just see where it goes. One of these dishes must have a lot of vegetables, they’re bound to help us with custom orders; they sound like they'll be okay with it if it makes their customers happy."
"I hope so." She rubbed her arm, but after a second of it she pulled it back down, like the action burned her upon contact. "I don't want my stomach to act up."
"We could find another restaurant if that works for you."
"No, no," she shook her head. "I'm okay, let's just ask them and see if we have to move or not."
He nodded. Sounds like a deal. "Alright."
The ordeal wasn't that worrisome when it came down to it. There were a slew of questions over which dishes had the most vegetables, which one harbored non-meat ingredients, and the typical pondering of choices they could pluck from the menu, both of them taking jabs on what would be the best dish — Connie more weary on her end than his. It wasn't a nervous wreck of a deal, but he could tell something was on her mind, something fumbling around her noggin like a pest on a wall. He had the patience; he had the time, yet he didn’t want to ignore it.
"You feeling okay, Strawberry?" The nickname caught her off guard. They were sitting at a table, facing each other with their meals. Steven had picked from a platter of small veggie tacos, and she was nibbling at her burrito, sweet potatoes peeking through the salsa verde, teeth hesitant on digging into the contents. It was a quiet affair, but there was a tension in the air, something he couldn't describe, yet there nonetheless. "You seem out of it."
"Am I?" Connie put her burrito down, wiping a sauce smear from her chin. Her eyes were downtrodden, looking away from him. "Sorry, I'm just thinking."
"You could tell me if it bothers you." He put one of his tacos onto her plate -- a peace offering, he called it, the breaking of tacos, even if he didn’t really break it and kept it in one piece.
She gave him a sheepish smile, putting the taco back onto his set. "Well…"
"I promise," he did a criss-cross motion in front of his chest, "won't say a word to anyone."
"I know you wouldn't." She grimaced slightly. "I'm just nervous to say it."
"Well," he said. "You don't have to tell me if you're nervous but I promise you that no matter what, I'll accept what you'll say."
"You're so sweet." Her sentence seemed to take him by surprise. Even she seemed to be surprised, tone twisting into something unfamiliar. "But yeah, I'll tell you, if it makes things a little bit easier."
"Remember, Connie," he said. "I'm always open."
"Mhm. Just give me a moment."
At the sight of her quick bite at her food, he smirked at her. "How is it?"
"It's good," she admitted, cheeks brushed with pink. "Better than I realized."
He couldn't help his giggle as she started back up again, putting the burrito down.
"It's just that," she fumbled with her fingers on the table, biting her lip, shoulders tense under the weak moonlight. "I get anxious over these types of events." She stopped, looking at him with inquiry in her stare like she was waiting for him to react. After a second, he nodded. That was enough. "When your friends were around, I'd feel like I'm drowning, overwhelmed by all of it — two of them are okay, yes, but having all of them surround me and ask questions made me want to get away...or dissociate."
"Ah…" He tried not to take offense to it. Being truthful was better than just lying to him, but somehow it still hit him that this would be hard. He can't just place her into his friend group with one step, it wasn't that simple; people had to adjust in their own ways, pacing themselves to something manageable. For Connie, she couldn't handle a crowd with all eyes on her, he'll have to take it slow or he won't have his favorite people around unless he wanted a chance of her having a panic attack.
"Okay." He said, taking a bite from his taco, chewing slowly. He needed a moment to ponder. Think. What could help her? How slow was he supposed to go? Where should they start? "You said you could manage how many at a time?"
"Two or less." Her voice went higher. "But if you really want me to get to know them, then I can try anything as long as it doesn't make me anxious."
"But you don't have to befriend them if you don't want to." He reminded her.
"That doesn't mean I don't want to." She stated. "Back at the food table, I did have a conversation with one of them; it didn't pull me into a fit or had me wanting to leave, it actually felt nice." Before he could respond, she added one more. "I'm open to trying something with you, with them, but I'll tell you if it's too much, if I can't handle it."
A sharp inhale. "You promise that?"
"I promise."
"Okay. Okay." Think. Think. Think. She could take two or less. She was able to find stuff to talk about with them without being uncomfortable. He had the patience to guide it and she had the honesty to tell him if anything went wrong. He rubbed his chin; there was an idea, but he had to get it through her before he could think of it further. "What about one-on-one time? We could schedule hangouts with them so only you and one of the girls could get to know each other. I could be a third party so you don't have to talk much if it gets awkward!"
Connie stared at him, uncertainty in her eyes — the intrigue, however, was churning in them. She pinched the bridge of her nose. Mumbles strung out from her lips. "I don't think a third party would be necessary for all of them. There are some cheerleaders that harbor more of an outgoing and talkative personality than some I've noticed. I could handle them, the only ones I'm worrying about are the ones who might be too much."
"So...I'll only come if you need me?"
"Mhm."
Okay, he thought, a smile beginning to grow on him. They were making progress; they were compromising. If they could tinker with it more, they should be able to make it work. He spoke up. "We could make a list of who'll go first? I can give you a description of each one and what they like to talk about and you can rate them on who you're most likely to get along with."
"Yeah." Her face lightened up. An ease was there, finally. "Yeah, that can work!"
"Do you have a piece of paper? I want to write the list down."
"What if we just use our phones?" She fished it out from her pocket.
"Oh yeah,” he couldn’t help his embarrassed giggle. “That works."
Progress was being made.
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[TJLC] Distracted by AGRA (or the many hints about personification of death in The Six Thatchers)
PLEASE CONSIDER THIS A WORK IN PROGRESS. IT’S NOT PERFECT BUT I HAVE SOME GOOD IDEAS HERE, I THINK, SO KEEPING IT FOR NOW.
A FEW DISCLAIMERS:
- I’m not a native English speaker and this wasn’t betad, so excuse the less-than-perfect English (although you’re about to find out what native language actually is).
- I’m very new in the fandom and in reading/writing meta, this would be my second meta post tbh, so excuse the amateurism.
- Everything I’m about to write here is based on very quick and easy Google searches. I’m BY NO MEANS AN ACADEMIC! I’m not well versed enough in any form of literary analysis to claim more than that, but perhaps this post will be a breeding ground for new ideas. If you are an academic and you find these interesting - please go ahead and expand on them.
- Lastly, this may have been picked up before by other meta writers and if so - I’m not aware of it, as I’m quite new to this fandom.
tl;dr: The Six Thatchers seems to be full of hints about the personification of death and cultural/religious representations of it, in a way that may even hint that that Mary = death, and/or that Moftiss were very preoccupied with the idea while writing it. It should be noted that I find these tidbits interesting in the context of well-established TJLC theories I’ve been reading up on a lot lately, namely EMP and M-Theory. I found these details interesting in the context of reading TST as something that’s happening in Sherlock’s MP as he’s dying and suspecting that Mary is dangerous and perhaps even linked to Moriarty.
AGRA > Samarra > The Four Angels of Death
As these things always go, I’ve been re-watching episodes while researching my WIP fic ‘Turned’. I have this new habit these days of only listening, instead of actually watching the episode in search of a fresh perspective. This time I was blown away, once again, by Sherlock and Mycroft’s conversation about AGRA. It’s a VERY odd conversation considering the topic, and what caught my ear this time was Mycroft mechanically reciting facts about the city of Agra. Why Agra, I asked? What’s so important about it? Nothing, the way I see it. One search led to another and I looked up Samarra, thinking perhaps I’ll find some connection between the two cities, but couldn’t.
The search for Samarra and the parable about it led me to the Appointment in Samarra wiki page, which mentions that the title of the book comes from a retelling of an ancient Mesopotamian tale by W. Somerset Maugham (the source of the next quote is here):
"The Appointment in Samarra"
(as retold by W. Somerset Maugham [1933])
The speaker is Death
There was a merchant in Bagdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions and in a little while the servant came back, white and trembling, and said, Master, just now when I was in the marketplace I was jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was Death that jostled me. She looked at me and made a threatening gesture, now, lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate. I will go to Samarra and there Death will not find me. The merchant lent him his horse, and the servant mounted it, and he dug his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the horse could gallop he went. Then the merchant went down to the marketplace and he saw me standing in the crowd and he came to me and said, Why did you make a threating getsture to my servant when you saw him this morning? That was not a threatening gesture, I said, it was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Bagdad, for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra.
There is also a very interesting study guide link from this website, which asks some very interesting questions about tale, such as Maugham’s decision to make Death a non-omniscient narrator of this tale, as well as a woman. I’ll return to Death being referred to as a woman later. However, since I have no expertise in literary readings, I’ll leave it to others who might be to add some more here.
More below the cut:
The version of the story in TST is a bit different; the servant is absent from the tale; it is instead the merchant who has the nighttime appointment with Death in Samarra after being startled to see Death that morning in the Baghdad market. (This note was taking from a wikipedia entry about another - apparently- very deterministic play by Maugham, Shepey.)
Anyway, the Appointment in Samarra wikipedia mentions that Maugham’s story comes from a much older version recorded in the Babylonian Talmud, Sukkah 53a.
The Talmud is the central text of Rabbinic Judaism. I’m a Hebrew speaking Jew, though an atheist one who isn’t well-read in religious texts at all, but I was intrigued enough to look up the Hebrew Talmud version of the text (in fact it’s originall in Aramaic, but wikipedia offers a Hebrew tranlsation). A quick Google search led me to the wikipedia page about the personification of death, and that’s when things got interesting.
Under the section about the grim reaper in Judaism, a story from the Talmud is mentioned, which seems to be another version of the Appointment in Samarra story. Here’s the story, translated by Google Translate, because I couldn’t find an English version:
The Babylonian Talmud tells of a sage, Rabbi Bibi, the son of Abiy, whose angel of death was often in his company. Rabbi Bibi heard the angel of death ask his emissary to name a woman named Miriam (Mary) who was a hair dresser (the future mother of Jesus). The messenger of death accidentally killed another woman named Miriam (Mary) who was a teacher. The angel of death said to his messenger: "I asked you to kill Miriam the barber and not Miriam the teacher." The messenger of death replied: Then I will bring Miriam the teacher back to life and bring before you Miriam the barber.
The angel of death said to him: If you have already brought Miriam the teacher, leave her with me along with the rest of the dead. The angel of death asked his messenger: How did you manage to kill the teacher Miriam even though it was not her time to die? The messenger of death replied: She was killed before an opportunity to kill her - she was fiddling with the stove with ember in her hand to clean the stove. Inadvertently she caused a burn in her leg - and when a person was harmed and his determination of his time to die was undermined - so I had a chance to kill prematurely. The sage, Rabbi Bibi, asked the angel of death: Do you have permission to kill people before their pre-determined time has come? The angel of death answered, "Yes, for it is written, 'There is no one who has perished without judgment.'
(According to wikipedia, this story is taken from תלמוד בבלי, מסכת חגיגה, דף ד, עמוד ב – דף ה, עמוד א).
AGR(A?M?)
Alright, I said, two Marys, escaping death but then meeting it eventually. It happens.
But as I read on… that Hebrew wikipedia page mentions another personification of death, the angel of death Azarel. Azarel has three ‘colleagues’ (e.g archangel) in Islam (and in some variations, they also exist in Judaism and Christianity): Jibrail (Gabriel), Israfil, commonly thought of as the counterpart of the Judeo-Christian archangel Raphael, and Mīkhā'īl (Michael).
So wait, that’s -- that’s Azarel, Gabriel, Raphael... as in AGR(A)? Whoa. That fourth angel mentioned in Islam is Michael - which doesn’t hold up with AGRA - but could that be a coincidence? We’re told two things about BBCSh’s AGRA, but we can’t really know they’re actually true. The first one is that Mary claims it’s her initials, which we later learn is possibly not true - John gets mad realizing it’s another lie. The other thing is that Mary claims to be ‘R’, for Rosamund, but we can’t be sure about that either. However, another cool detail: in Christianity, Raphael is generally associated with an unnamed angel mentioned in the Gospel of John, who stirs the water at the healing pool of Bethesda. Yes - I know, the M really doesn’t fit there, but M really is a character that stands out in the BBCSH universe, doesn’t it?
Moving on to more cultural references of the personification of death the Hebrew wikipedia page offers, note that I haven’t read the first and it’s been years since I watched the second:
Death with Interruptions
In Death with Interruptions by José Saramago, they mention, death is a woman, and she falls in love with one of her future victims. She decides to spare his life: Every time death sends him his letter [notifying him of his imminent death], it gets returned. Death discovers that, without reason, this man has mistakenly not been killed. Although originally intending merely to analyse this man and discover why he is unique, death eventually becomes infatuated with him, so much so that she takes on human form to meet him. Upon visiting the cellist, she plans to personally give him the letter; instead, she falls in love with him, and, by doing so, she becomes even more human-like.
Chess and The Seventh Seal
Another reference is the film The Seventh Seal, about a knight returning from a crusade, and discovers his land his ravaged by plague. The knight encounters Death, whom he challenges to a chess match, believing he can survive as long as the game continues. Does that remind you of any particular promo pics?
What I find interesting in all these references, is that they all seem to deal with questions regarding ‘dealing with death’ that, in the context of EMP for example, can be seen as Sherlock ‘running simulations’ (or asking philosophical questions) on how to deal with his current situations:
- ‘Do you have permission to kill people before their pre-determined time has come’? (Can people time die before their pre-determined time? Can people escape pre-determined death?)
- Can you interrupt death with love? Was Mary supposed to kill John, fell in love with him and thus his death was postponed? Is John still in danger?
- What can one do to postpone death - perhaps challenging it to a game, hoping for survival as you distract it?
Tagging other meta readers/writers who I think might enjoy this ; let me know if you don’t - I won’t tag you again): @sarahthecoat, @devoursjohnlock @inevitably-johnlocked @possiblyimbiassed @waitedforgarridebs @tjlcisthenewsexy @loudest-subtext-in-tv @therealsaintscully
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The risk it took to blossom (Part 1)
Pairing : Sarawat / Tine (2gether the series)
Summary : Five times someone talked Tine through his self-doubt and helped him see his worth, and the one time he didn't need them to.
Chapter : 1/6
Next chapters : 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6
Notes : Because the idea of an insecure Tine has been in my head for the past couple of weeks now, I just wanted a chance to explore that a little more, and for our boy to learn to see his self-worth. So I guess this is my attempt at that ! I’ll post one part a day until Friday’s episode.
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“I’m sorry, but the idea that the government chose this solution to implement at the time because it was the only one available to them is simply preposterous. I understand it was a different time, but I find the mere concept of it to be completely unfathomable, and I frankly don’t understand how you can even entertain this idea,” argues Marc, and Tine… well. Tine just wants to get out of there, to be honest.
Tine and Sarawat had been eating lunch at the cafeteria, enjoying a quiet meal before they were supposed to make their way back to Tine’s dorm room to hang out with Type and Man who were going to join them there directly, when a guy in Sarawat’s Political History class had stopped by and started to talk about their latest lesson with Sarawat, ignoring Tine completely in the process.
He doesn’t know exactly when he completely lost track of the conversation, but all Tine is hearing now are words like ‘preposterous’ and ‘unfathomable’, and he frankly just wants to go home, where he can have regular conversations with regular people and not feel so dumb all of a sudden.
“That’s not what I’m saying,” Sarawat argues back, rolling his eyes at the other boy. “I’m just saying that you can’t simply overlook the historical context at the time to make your argument fit better. Obviously, it’s going to impact whatever decisions were being made at the time and pretending that it’s not the case is just greatly oversimplifying the issue.”
Marc opens his mouth, probably to argue back with a bunch of words that Tine doesn’t know again, but he decides to intervene before the boy gets a chance to.
“Wat, I’m going to start heading up to my room so that I can let Type and Man in without them having to wait too long for us. Are you okay to join us later ?” he asks his boyfriend.
Sarawat turns towards Tine at the interruption and smiles softly at him.
“Yeah, I’ll join you guys as soon as we’re done here,” he answers back, prompting Tine to smile at him in answer, before getting up to make his leave, Marc’s voice still audible in the background.
As he is walking towards his bedroom, Tine can’t stop his thoughts from going back to the conversation. He knew Sarawat was smart, of course, but he hadn’t realized that Sarawat spent his days talking with people like that. If those are the conversations he has during the day, what must it feel like when he meets up with Tine. Does he have to constantly dumb himself down for Tine ? Does he even truly enjoy talking with him ?
Deep in thought, Tine reaches his dorm room quicker than he would have thought and finds his brother, sitting on the floor in front of it.
“Sorry for making you wait. Where’s Man ?” he asks his brother, as Type gets up and looks at him intently.
“He got caught up on an essay and will join us as soon as he’s done,” he says in answer as both brothers make their way into the bedroom, Tine putting his bag down on his bed before sitting on it with a sigh.
“What’s wrong ?” asks Type, clearly being able to read his brother enough to know something is bothering him.
“Do you ever have these moments where you are suddenly reminded of how stupid you actually are ?” Tine asks in a small voice, and Type makes his way towards the bed, seating himself next to his brother and turning towards him.
“What are you talking about ? You’re not stupid,” he answers back with a frown.
“A guy from one of Sarawat’s classes stopped by while we were having lunch, and they started talking about one of their lessons and I swear I had no idea what they were even talking about half of the time.”
“Well you’re not a Political Science student Tine, you not being to understand everything they were saying makes sense,” his brother tries to reassure him, but Tine cuts him off.
“That’s not it Type though. I’m not even talking about the Political aspect of it..., This guy was talking and I swear I couldn’t even understand a third of the words that were coming out his mouth !” explains Tine, distress clear in the way he keeps running his hands through his hair, almost pulling. “Like what is Sarawat even doing with a dumb guy like me ? I certainly can’t hold conversations like those with him.”
“Please don’t speak of yourself that way. I really hate it when you do,” his brother whispers, frown getting deeper and worry pooling in his eyes. “You’re not dumb Tine. You know so much about different subjects, you’re curious and you know all these tidbits of information about the various interests you have. So you don’t know all the fancy words this guy was using ? That doesn’t mean anything. You got into this university to study law Tine. Obviously, you’re smarter than you give yourself credit for.”
Tine sighs deeper at his brother’s words. Intellectually, he knows that what Type is saying is probably true. It’s just not what it feels like and Tine just hates his brain sometimes.
“What’s bringing this on Tine ?” his brother asks, one hand reaching towards his shoulder to turn his brother towards him.
“I just don’t want Sarawat to ever feel like he settled with me. He could have been with any of those guys and half of the university has to be pining after him, judging by his fan club. I just don’t want him to get…” Tine starts to explain, voice wavering in the middle of his sentence.
“Bored ?” prompts his brother, and Tine just nods his head in answer. “Tine, I swear I’ve never seen someone be as in love with another person the way Sarawat is with you. And the only person I’ve seen come close to that is how you feel towards him. And you think he’s bored ? You guys have so much in common ! You’re not the same people and you’re bound to have different interests, but you were friends before you even started dating and you talk so much. About everything. Of course, Sarawat isn’t bored. You know he loves spending time with you, he was in love for you months before you even got together !”
Tine nods his head in answer, recognizing that his brother does have a point. Even before they got together, him and Sarawat would often get lost into these deep discussions about various subjects, and Sarawat certainly never looked bored, at least.
“I know you don’t see yourself very clearly sometimes Tine,” his brother continues. “But I can promise Sarawat doesn’t think you’re stupid. And I know for sure that he doesn’t feel like he settled with you. Going by the look of adoration he gets every single time he looks at you, I’d say the idea that he could have settled never even crossed his mind.”
At those words, Type puts a hand around Tine’s shoulder and brings him closer, Tine resting his head on his shoulder.
The moment is interrupted a couple minutes later when Tine hears his door open. He lifts his head up from his brother’s shoulder, just in time to see Sarawat make his way into the room and smile towards the both of them.
“Hi Type,” he says, greeting the other boy, before he bends forward and takes Tine’s face in both of his hands to kiss him soundly.
“What was that for ?” asks Tine when he pulls away, not used to Sarawat being this forward in front of other people.
“This was a thank you. For giving me the perfect excuse to escape this conversation. Because god… I hate that pompous ass,” he says with a shake of his head, before sitting down in Tine’s desk chair.
“Really ?” asks Tine in surprise.
“God, yes,” he confirms, before turning towards Type to explain. “You know the type of people that will like, purposefully use all those fancy words of vocabulary to make themselves look smarter, when in reality what they’re actually saying makes no sense whatsoever ? Yeah. That’s Marc to a T.”
“You don’t say,” says Type, throwing Tine a knowing look.
“Seriously, I can’t take it with guys like him. Look at Tine, for instance ! He’s obviously smart and he studies law, yet he doesn’t feel like he has to walk around talking like a freaking encyclopedia all the time,” he says with an eye roll, and obviously still worked up about his conversation with Marc.
At these words, the uneasiness that has been pooling in Tine’s stomach since the conversation earlier in the day starts receding, and he feels a wave of relief rush through him.
Not saying anything in answer, Tine gets up from the bed and makes his way towards the desk, bending forward to place a gentle kiss on Sarawat’s lips.
When he pulls back, Sarawat looks at him with a small smile.
“Not that I’m complaining, but what did I do to deserve this ?” he asks with a teasing smile, and Tine just shakes his head and smiles at Sarawat in answer, no longer wanting to dwell on the subject.
When he turns back around towards his brother, Type is watching them with a fond look. He lifts an eyebrow and looks at his brother with a smirk.
The “See ? I told you so,” is left unsaid, but Tine hears it loud and clear anyway. And frankly, he’s never been happier for his brother to be right about something.
#sarawat x tine#saratine#2gether the series#2gether#2gether fanfic#2gether fic#saratine fanfic#saratine fic#emi's writing#I refuse to let a bunch of crazy fans ruin this for me so I guess I'll find my solace in fic and gifs#while fans learn some respect and learn to butt out of actors private lives
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