#Yet Niave | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seventhcallisto · 6 months

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Chapter 11 — "you promise?"

—Deep Down.

Toc/cw; ateez being absolutely fking whipped for you. Mutual pining(they don't know its mutual tho). unironic use of alpha(I'm sorry ik it's bad). omega, omega, and more omega. (you'll understand that soon) fluffy but also really angst but dw it's gonna be okay I SWEAR. You overworking, mention of diet culture (for one line) and the struggles of being an idol, suggestive undertones towards the end. If I forget warnings, it's bc I don't know or forgot to add them.

There's a forbidden trail you follow. One you never thought you'd be led on. Wooyoungs hands are firm and soft when he pulls you along, and your tears dry quickly. Something you've gotten used to with time, the way his soft, smooth hand holds your own. You wish to be able to feel them for the first time again.

The first time. It was a fan sign. It's one of the first ones. You can't believe how nervous you were, yet you stood your ground and faced the crowd. Deep and methodical breaths filled your lungs.

Wooyoungs hand slips into yours under the table, out of view from everyone. If it was accidental, he doesn't seem to notice. Back then, you were just as small and niave. He squeezes once. Then twice. You wait. Feeling as if you should anticipate something.

You watch him from the corner of your eye. With his free hand, he waves, on his chubby face is a smile. His purple hair sways from the fans overhead. You want to push it out of his face.

You squeeze. Not once. Not twice. But three times. 'I love you.' The three squeezes. Letting the words echo in your mind. You don't expect him to know it. Something you learned when you were a kid in a foreign place, pretending to know what those words actually meant.

He squeezes back, one time.

You don't even pull your head up to look at the car. Don't even bother to watch where you step when you get into it. Wooyoung does the guiding for you. Doubtfully. Messily. He's never been good on his feet unless he was dancing.

That's not true, but he wants to make it seem like he's not nervous at the realization.

You, the beta of the pack. The one he's got closest with as soon as you met. You, the slick smiling, bias wrecking, only girl, 9th member of his permanent group. You, who he loves to squeeze, tease, and mess around with. the most calm, level-headed, beta person he knows.

The alpha can't believe it. Well, not to stereotype. But he's definitely stereotyping when he says you are- were the definition of beta.

You're an omega? He doesn't understand it himself.

It's a flashback to the day seonghwa found your bottle of scent suppressants.

It takes him a while to realize what it is, fiddling with the bottle in his hands.

"What's this for?" He asks, yunho. His left eyebrow raised. Yunho sits across from him on the free couch. He sits on the edge, scratching at his hair. The energy he holds is as if he's about to defend the reason he slipped the bottle into seonghwas hand when they got through the front door from filming. And he does.

"Have you been noticing anything off with her?" He points to the bottle, eyebrows raised. Seonghwa tries to connect the invisible dots yunho is throwing at him.

He nods. But he speaks up, "she's been different since she came back from the hospital. She's tired." He defends your honor even if it isn't something you said directly. Seonghwa looks back down at the yellow label. 'New Box' is the headline of the bottles sticker.

'Scent suppressants for all sexes, works best for omegas and betas' the smaller fine print says under it.

"Did you steal this from her bag???" Seonghwas jaw drops, he finally connects some of those invisible dots. A picture is beginning to form.

Yunho shoots up from his seat, pacing between the couches. "I did, but earlier today at the monitor, you remember, yeah?" Yunho looks to seonghwa briefly. His hand falls to his hip.

"Yes.. and?" How could seonghwa forget the display his younger membered showed with you? He had half a mind to turn away and walk. It's not like he was jealous, not with yunho.

He's just not a big fan of being touchy in public, but he wouldn't have mind if he was there, telling you you're perfect along with yunho. He doesn't think about it any further.

"When I was showing her the monitor, I leaned over, and when I did, I smelt.." yunho rubs a hand down his face. "I smelt her, really her," even yunho sounds crazy to himself.

"You know that artificial smells she's had since she came back?" Yunho jumps to the deep end. "Yeah?" Seonghwa sighs. Yunho takes his seat across seonghwa again. "That's what that is, and since I helped myself to her bag. I found a bunch of other things too"

Seonghwa doesn't want to pry into your personal stuff. But yunho doesn't sound too far-fetched. Yunho pulls out his phone, handing it to seonghwa. On the screen is a picture. The first thing he sees is a couple of small roll on perfumes. Clear, tiny fluid filled bottles without labels. A couple of medications he knows you keep on hand. Headache relief and sore body relief pills. Your tiny knick nacks take up the bottom of the bag, it's endearing really, everything in the bag screams you.

'Heat suppressants'

His eyes bulge. He zooms in with the pads of his fingers, zooming in on the bottle. Like birth control, it's got a subtle design to blend in.

Seonghwas heart leaps to his throat. He blinks, at a lost of words. "Thats not all" yunho leans behind the couch tucked against the wall. Where he pulls out something he hid.

Yunho throws the brown bag he recognizes from earlier this week, from when you got back from the hospital. The bag san grabbed. It's zipped open.

Tea bags and cake recipes in plain boxes. Shampoo and conditioner seonghwa is unfamiliar with. Perfumes and bottles of lotion he knows none of the guys or you use. But most distinctly is the smell of you. The scent of you. Vetiver, pumpkin, ambrette, and morning rain. There's the linger of alcohol and artificial scents in it.

Artificial beta you. It's surprising since it's coming from a bag and not the direct source that is your comforting aroma.

"She's an omega" yunho breathlessly says, taking the words straight from seonghwas' thoughts. The news isn't as shocking as he thought I'd be, it's like he already knew deep down.

Hongjoong doesn't know anything about that. The day he returns to the apartment at 4 am, he's surprised to see you wrapped up all comfy on couch. For a second his eyes watch the screen flicker across your soft features.

And when he takes his seat next to you, his hand drifts to find you. Subconsciously, his finger touches the soft skin on your ankle. He doesn't dare move any further.

He knows his hand is cold, his rings even colder. When you shiver, but don't pull away. You unconsciously drive him crazy. The back and forth conversation is at the very back of his mind. He misses you. He missed you a lot. And since he's been so busy, he hasn't gotten the chance to actually be there with you ever since you got back.

That week without you was miserable.

"I wanted to wait for you," your soft voice says. It echos in his head and peirces the silence that settles over the two of you. God, if only you knew how long he's been saying that for years to imaginary you that loves him equally so. Whenever you got close, and he wanted to lean in and kiss you all over.

But it's all in his head. And that's where it'll stay.

When your hand grips his, he leans in so you're not contorting yourself. "Lay with me?" You don't have to ask twice. Hongjoong scoots up right next to you. He drinks in your makeup free face, bare skin on display. A little breath you let out has him looking down at your plump lips, he quickly looks back up, hoping you didn't catch his stare.

"Nightmare?" He whispers, that's the only reason you stayed up, that's the only reason you want him so close. It's his duty as the pack captain to keep you safe in his close proximity. He pushes out his scent, hoping to ease you.

Your soft breathing fans his face, your droopy eyes slowly closing. His favorite smell in the entire world is you. Distant Vetiver. He breathes out. Watching your face relax. Soft Pumpkin. His hand falls over your hip. He wants so desperately to pull you closer. ambrette, and morning rain. He didn't know morning rain could smell like anything, but it's you.

You. It's always been you. All day, ever since you walked up that hill and gave him the most content of hug when you got back, the smell you unconsciously pushed out from the scent gland on your neck. he's been thinking about it.

You don't smell like those familiar scents anymore. You smell completely different now.

Sweet sugary nectar that enraptured his every being. And he isn't upset about it. Something in him is very fond of it.

When he wakes up the morning after. He doesn't want to move an inch. But he knows if he doesn't, your neck will be sore from the awkward way it lays on his arm. He sits up slightly, wordlessly wiggling his arm from under your head. He makes sure it doesn't fall with his hand cushioning you.

For a minute, he doesn't slip his hand from behind your head. His right thumb caresses your cheek, soft and shallow. You lean into his touch whilst you sleep, and he smiles down at you, a small snicker passes his lips at the situation. He bites his grin back.

Hongjoong wants nothing more than to be wrapped around your finger. To be the guy you want. To take care of you like you do him.

Hongjoong wants you to come to him with the truth when you're ready.

Jongho walks past your room. Once, twice, five times. Every time he wants to knock, he hears you on the other side. And he freezes up. He's like some lovesick puppy crawling at your door, whining to be let in.

Fuck it.

He knocks and pushes your door open. You're spread on the bed, your comforter and sheets scrunched up around you. The sun from behind him casts on you like an angel. The hue of sleepiness in your eyes when you lock them with his has him gulping nervously.

"Want to get some breakfast?" He sighs into his words, letting the anxiety out. Your smile- That makes jonghos' heartbeat thump loudly in his ears- lights up your face.

"Yes"

The walk is short, something jongho isn't fond of when he gets the chance to have these moments with you. Your shoulders bump. And he pulls the door open for you. The crowd only makes him walk closer to you.

You wrap your arm in his. Do you know what you're doing? You're killing him. Truly. Even the tiny things hold him hostage.

When he goes to order, you don't cut him off. That's the first red flag he sees. You're so independently you. It's custom for you to do so.

When you lean up to whisper in his ear. That's the second one. You never lean up to anybody. Usually, people lean down to hear you. Not the other way around. Still, he meets you halfway.

Jongho slides next to you, the excuse of it's too crowded on this tip of his tongue if you ask. You never do. You don't pull away when his shoulder bumps yours. "How's your elbow?" His fingers graze your arm.

You look up at him, your brows crease. It's then jongho thinks about how short you are. It distracts him only for a second.

You respond simply, shrugging him off. That's red flag number three. Jonghos eyebrows furrow, and his face pulls at his mask.

"If it wasn't, why were you in the hospital for a week?"

He watches the war of emotions flash your features. And that's the final straw for him. You clearly lie when you mumble out an excuse. He wants to press you. What are you lying about?

Why would you lie?

"Tests? What for?" He leans on his shoulder, staring at you from over the black mask on his face. He takes charge of the conversation. He waits.

"Because i.. because I'm a -" Ding!

The ding signifies jongho clicking everything into place. It's like a puzzle he's been working on. How you smelt different when he hugged you after you returned. How docile you looked this morning. How you leaned up into him. How you grabbed him. All of this is so uncommon for you.

Jongho is so used to you looking throughly messy in the morning. It's not something he dislikes (he likes how you look always), but it's so you to be messy. You leaning up into him, he doesn't ignore the way you take a big inhale in his ear before you speak. It's not his imagination. These things are so unlike you. Yes, you are the beta standard. Everyone agrees. Even you. But this.. You're being so.. he can't wrap his head around it.

Because.

He walks up to the counter, taking everything he ordered in his strong grip.

Because you're an omega and jongho is the alpha who figured it out.

Jonghos feet past faster than yours on the concrete. He doesn't slow down because he's locked in thought. He doesn't even notice when he sets a tone he didn't mean. He's gotta ask someone else about this.

He's got to figure something out.

Mingi is so clueless when it comes to you. Mingi is.. actually very clueless all the time. When yunho bursts into their shared bedroom. Ripping off the blanket from mingi. He's got half a mind to sit there, blinking his eyes in a sleepy daze. Yunho explains his master plan.

Mingi doesn't register any of it until yunho tells him a second time.

Mingi isn't unhappy about being told by yunho that you're an omega. He's completely still out of it. He's mostly unhappy he didn't figure it out himself.

It's very mingi to come to your room with a pillow that smells heavily like him. Your room is the most comforting in the apartment. He likes to think he contributes to it because his scent lingers in your bed the next morning. A certain possessiveness mingi indulges in.

Your sleepy face turns towards him. Beckoning him in.

He forgets the story yunho prepared for him.

You are so pretty. "Can I sleep in here tonight?" He fiddles with your doorknob when you look at him. He knows if the media got wind of how pretty you actually are, they'd be all over you in a second. He's somewhat happy the makeup artist don't do your specific features justice. When you let him in, he kicks his feet when he falls on your bed. The bed that smells like you.

The sugary sweetness under the mask of your beta scent is something he particularly takes a full second to shove his face in.

"I sleep better in your bed," he finally says, pulling his face up from your spot that smells specifically like you and no one else. Your fingers pull the glasses off his nose. He forgot he even had them on. As you lean over to put his glasses on your side table. He takes an indulgent whiff of you.

"It's because my room isn't messy," he can hear the smile in your words. It makes him smile. He bites his cheek gently. In the silence he tries to remember what yunho wanted him to say.

"I'm sorry again," he murmurs. And like you always do, you reassure him. It isn't his fault. There's no witty remark, something you usually make because you prefer to keep things light and he knows that.

Your excuse doesn't make him upset either, he doesn't think anything you do will make him upset. When he says something that makes you laugh, his heart pumps blood up his neck and his cheek grown warm.

He knows he's awake enough that it's not the drowsiness that takes over his next moves. Mingi searches for your hand under the pillow, when he finds it, he pulls it closer to his side. A satisfied sigh leaves his parted lips.

The softness of your skin to mingi is like falling into a basket of bunnies. Okay, maybe he's being dramatic. But his thumb caresses you like he would a bunnies ear.

What does he say now?

"I'm here if you ever need anything" it slips outs, his finger parts your thumb to intertwine his fingers between his. The scent glands between his fingers meet yours. A passionate and forward display of affection that mingi soaks in.

Until you pull away. And the faint crack of his heart rings in the dark room.

San and yeosang share the space at the top of the tower, prideful, they watch you lean and maneuver yourself. San is doing most of the shouting.

As soon as you get close enough, yeosang is pulling you over. Praises stop just as he's about to say them. The whiff that comes with you is sweet and all-consuming. San smells it, too.

You take it with you when you run to the table. Your smile is beaming. But San and Yeosang don't smile back.

Shock hangs in the air. Yeosang and san only stare in shock when you pull out something. Rolling it over yourself.

Afterward, you run without looking back. Yeosang doesn't know exactly what to do. Neither does San.

When they meet up at the bottom of the tower, San pulls hongjoong aside whilst wooyoung pulls yeosang aside. "What happened? Where is -" He asks his best friend with worried eyes. Yeosang doesn't know whether or not to tell him.

"I.." yeosang looks anywhere else. Wooyoung doesn't wait for yeosang to answer, pulling him over to the boys who crowd San and Hongjoong.

"I don't know where she went." San throws his hand up. Hongjoong steps back with his hands on his hips. Somewhere around here they will be called back to set and you will be missing.

Wooyoung is utterly confused, "what's going on?" He asks, and everyone goes silent. He steps forward, repeating himself louder this time.

"She's an omega," San says quietly, glancing at hongjoong and then back at wooyoung. Whatever response wooyoung was expecting, it certainly wasn't that.

And now that you're all caught up. Wooyoung storms the entirety of the building searching for you. Any hint of your freshly dyed hair, scent, or perfume is another lead to getting to you. Letting an omega, one distressed and upset loose around a building where, yes good people are, but there is bad somewhere. Everywhere. And he especially told the guys about this.

"You let OUR pack member go? When she's extremely upset? Did anyone even- by herself! She's still healing and you let her go off by herself!?"

Yes, maybe he's being more mature than he's even seen. It shocks himself more than his members. And when he finally finds you, a different weight falls over his chest. Your sobs and tears are the last thing wooyoung wants to hear or see. Softly, he reaches out. You pull away, upset, you say words that have wooyoung pulling his lip between his teeth to prevent barking back anything he could say in the moment that'll hurt your feelings more. You're highly sensitive right now.

Wooyoung doesn't know if he's ever seen you cry like this before. Doesn't even remember an instance he's ever seen you so upset. The first time wooyoung saw you crying, you let a few fall, wiped them away, took a deep breath. Then you got up and continued with your day. Just a few tears compared to the river you are at the moment.

He wants to wipe them away and pull you into his chest. He can't, though. You're irratic, lost in your own head, and nothing he's currently saying will get to you.

He chances it. "Omega, please." he calls to you.

It's like a switch. You look up at him with puffy eyes. The shock on your face makes wooyoung feel terrible. It should have been something you came to tell him about. It's not something he overheard from someone else like gossip. It shouldn't have been.

As soon as the car comes to a slow stop at the apartment, you can't bring yourself to walk up the stairs or even get out.

You know, as soon as you get out and stay locked up in your room, once the guys return, someone will come to ask questions. That things will change from what you're used to. And you'll lose something valuable. It's just a sneaking suspicion. But to you, it's the ever growing truth.

"Chen? Could you please take me to the dance studio?" You ask, staring up at the building. Chen, bless his heart, takes a second to think about it. Worry creases his graying eyebrows.

The dance room is a breath of fresh air. The familiar space takes away your thoughts.

And now that you're in this familiar space, you do what you do best. You dance to distract yourself. Your phone hooks up to the speakers, blaring loudly. Music beats your eardrums, and your heart does, too when you move about freely.

Your newly dyed hair sticks to your face. Your clothes aren't very dance worthy but you've wore more uncomfortable ones on stage. Your low waisted jeans stick to your skin, along with the hoodie sweater you wore. You're sweating heavily.

You don't even have your purse to reapply your scent blockers. It doesn't matter if you did. You don't care who knows anymore. Your manager isn't here either. A giant no-no. You left filming, an even bigger no-no. And now no one knows where you are except for Chen, the ultimate no-no. You trust him not to say anything, though.

You might get removed from the group for this. You might get blacklisted. Kicked off the face of earth. And you wont know until they tell the media. You wont know until atiny find out. But what does it matter when nothing matters to you at the moment. You've never broken your contract rules. No dating? Not even when you were a trainee. Keep up with diet culture? Who needs food anyways. No partying? You got it, boss. No smoking? You don't like smoking anyway. Get used to wearing irritating makeup and the stuck-up people you deal with on a daily basis? Gladly.

Never, never allow yourself to get comfortable. The fear of never being enough will keep you on your toes, perform until you pass out, sing til your lungs hurt, and write lines until you can't feel your fingers. Work endlessly 24/7.

You fall to your knees, breathing heavily. Your head meets with the cold wood floor. You lean against it for support. Breathe. You're trying. Continously heaving for breath. You wrap your arms around yourself, your knees pull into your chest against the floor your head still is tucked on the wood.

The burden taken on every day is your own. The way you work yourself to the brink of death is your own doing. Your manager has told you this before, even in your day off. Everyone you know has said the same thing, everyone knows how hard you push.

"You've earned it," Kimmie celebrates. Handing you a cupcake. "You debuted!" She cheers, blowing on a whistle, you stare down at the pink frosting in shock. "I'm so proud of you"

Years later, are you proud of yourself, though? Years later, are you willing to let your dream die? Years later, are you willing to risk everything? To tell them how you really feel, why you are the way you are now? How you became this way?

The door to the dance practice room stutters open. The foggy glass gives away your position inside along with the bright lights. Your breathing is all caught up, but you still keep yourself as low to the floor as you can.

Don't look, pretend you're not here, please. Please.

A warm hand meets your back. You can't hear anyone over the music. It stops abruptly. The silence is suffocating, just like the jeans you're wearing. Just like the hoodie you have on. The cold of the floor caresses your sweaty forehead, that is, until someone's hand wedges between it and you.

Softly pulling your head off the floor, yeosangs lean pale arms come into view. Your face turns in his direction, a deep set pout and fear in your wide eyes. He's squatted next to you, his knees on the floor must be uncomfortable. His hand brushes the hair off your hairline back. Words are stuck in his throat.

"It's okay." he whispers just to you, sighing at the end. Your eyes fall into a squint at the floor, and your nose scruches. He takes a second, thinking over his next move. He decides to guide you into his chest. He doesn't overthink it. Maneuvering your arms to wrap around him.

Yeosangs arms wrap around you. he's comfortable and caring, his heart beats down next to your ear. He doesn't really know what to do with his hands, he's not very good with touch. But he's trying for you. He lands softly on the floor, sitting on his butt and pulling you closer into the gap between his lean legs. His hand rubs on your arm, the other hand on your hair strokes it behind your ear delicately. Lemonade tea and cocoa butter stripes the stress off your shoulders, yeosangs scent is addicting. Like a warm blanket.

"I'm sorry, I'm okay" you try to reassure. Who? You don't even know. Yeosangs head nods over your hair, he doesn't believe you thus why he keeps pushing out his scent to calm you. But he let's you say it anyways. The door opens once again, scraping against the wood sharply.

"Did you -" it's jongho, his words fall short. He turns around and walks back out the door. The distant shout in the hallway signals that this is real and jongho is calling the rest of the guys.

You don't know if you can do this.

You pull away from yeosang, taking one final deep breath. These emotions that choke you are unwelcome. You need to get your shit together. You need to act like an adult and take care of the issues you cause. Yeosang pulls his hands back and stands up from the floor.

You take a full second to follow. Just in time, the manager bursts through the door, right behind him is jongho. Jongsiks hands grip your shoulders. "You okay?" He words out, the older man concerned. You adore jongsik like a father. He's your favorite staff member.

You nod, straightening your lips into a thin line. Jongsik scans your face as if decoding your answer like it has a secret meaning. He nods after, pulling you along with him down the hallway.

Your phone is on its last life, 2%. How long were you in there for? 10 pm, the clock flickers. Finally, it shuts off. Completely gone is the comfort of your phone. You sigh. Behind you, yeosang and jongho trail back. It's silent even when you step out of the building.

The night air nips your nose when you wait for jongsik to pull around with the company car. Yeosang stands on your left, awkward, looking anywhere else but at you. Your arms subconsciously wrap around you. You're cold, but you won't admit it. You won't say you're cold, not when the tension is so thick and making you claustrophobic.

The whiff of fresh florals, mahogany, charred sandalwood- you know this smell, it's jongho. You turn to look at him on your right. He shoulders off his black jacket, sticking it out to you without another word. You don't want to take it, don't want to give him another reason to pity you in this moment. But the look in his eyes when he stares so deeply into yours says 'go ahead'. You look down as you take it, unfolding your arms and shuffling it on. It's all the smell of jongho, every last bit of him. Every hint and detail.

You subtly sniff it as you shuffle around. Leaning on the balls of your feet. Jongho doesn't have another jacket on, just a thin brown hoodie. His eyes look ahead at the empty street, and his large palm wraps around his forearm while his other arm swings loosely by his side. He looks as if he didn't just hand over his jacket to you. He looks normal in the chaos that swirls around you. His soft eyelashes flutter, his heart-shaped lips part.

He's so boyfriend coded, you think. The thought makes you turn away. Where did that come from?

No one takes the front seat, you wonder why, when you first got in the car you sat in the middle, you're so used to sitting in the middle so the guys have room to move around, squishing them together seems cruel. You don't even think about scooting over. Yeosang takes your left whilst jongho takes your right. It doesn't even bother you when you when the potholes make you bump into yeosang. Or even when jonghos big shoulders lean into your spot.

All of that lingers under the anxiety pouring out of your pores. You're mentally sweating profusely. What the hell are you going to say? How are you gonna explain you went into heat? It is so embarrassing explaining to the eight guys you love (more than friends, you've always known) that you were locked up in a room having to do the do with yourself for a week. Perhaps you should have your priorities straight instead of wondering about that.

Your face feels like it's heating up from the embarrassment you're gonna feel.

The apartment is a little less cold than the hallway. The door shuts behind yeosang. Signaling to everyone else you've just gotten back. Jongho types away on his phone, no doubt texting someone. He heads straight to where the kitchen is. Your eyes don't follow. Instead, you take off his jacket and hang it up in the closet. Yeosangs hand brushes yours when he does the same from next to you. You don't stop to stare, and neither does he.

The living room is normally spacious, but you feel claustrophobic in the setting you've comfortably gotten used to. You take your seat on the couch, and your head falls into your hands. Your palms rub at your eyes, pushing away the sleep clawing to consume you in its grip.

The night light of the city cascades against the dark apartment. You watch your vision blur the shapes together that dance on the wall across you. Your shadow smack dab in the middle, hunched over to hide into yourself. Yeosang moves about in the darkness, walking towards the kitchen himself. Just out of your view, you hear the chit-chat of the guys. They must all be in the kitchen trying to learn how to start a conversation with you.

You take the lead, pushing yourself to stand up. You take one deep sigh. And walk toward the kitchen yourself. The chitchat dies as you come into view, you learn against the entry, your hip meeting the cold countertop. The majority of the guys are still dressed. They must all have been out looking for you. Your head falls down, shamefully.

"Three weeks." You start, voice small. You clear your throat, shaking your head towards the floor. "I've been like this - an omega for three weeks" Your arms cross over your chest. The silence eats away at you.

"I-" "Why didn't you tell us?" Mingi says, hongjoong stares daggers at his face. Possibly hoping to quiet him. "I. I didn't.." You're tired of lying. You swipe your finger under your eye. "I was told not too," you speak clearer, looking up. All eyes are on you.

"They told me not to tell you guys. They said they were gonna sit us all down and explain it. Keep it under control until they have a statement to the press for my absence and my new sex.." You get more silent as you continue. Confidence deteriorating. "I didn't want to lie, but I.." You stop there, sighing heavily.

"How?" Hongjoong asks, eyes glance to him but the majority of them stay on you. You know exactly what he's asking. "I don't know, really. it started just a couple days before practice, I wasn't feeling well. Seonghwa, yeosang. You two noticed my scent was off and I still didn't think about it until I collapsed." You kick your foot, looking towards the two members you mentioned.

Seonghwa and yeosang look like sirens of the night. Their eyes peirce you. "I still don't know the exact cause of the change. The doctors said a few different things. I won't know 'til I get a call." You honestly say. The silence lingers in the air again.

"When is your-" a hand slaps over mingis mouth, it's jonghos, he holds mingis head to prevent him from moving out of his grasp, mingi struggles. It's funny, yet you dont laugh, only smile the tiniest bit. "When is your heat?" Wooyoung finishes for him, all eyes on him now. Well, more like all shock directed at him now. Mingi stops struggling, both he and jongho stare at wooyoung like he grew a second head.

"Less than two weeks" you bite your cheek, facing the bold question head on. "Actually, i had my first one while i was gone." your head falls back towards the floor. The wood planks are so very interesting. Wow. "I've been taking heat suppressants to bide the pain.. but I don't know. I won't know until I get there."

Silence again.

Seonghwa coughs, turning around. He breaks the silence as he moves bags on the counter. "Most of us had dinner but I saved some food for you" he hands you the solid plate, like its a code word. Each of the guys go to do something else, moving around and doing their own things. Plastic wrap covers the plate, you stare down at it in your hands.

The change of the conversation makes you trip on your thoughts. "You're not mad?" You blurt out, looking up at seonghwa who goes to pass you. He stops, surprised, he turns. "Mad?.." he mumbles, looking away as he thinks. "I'm not mad, why would I be?" He mumbles, eyebrows pulled taunt over his smooth forehead.

You blink back, once, then twice.

Seonghwa bites his plump bottom lip, looking to the living room where hongjoong is sitting with his laptop in his lap. They pass glances to each other. A plan under wraps that no one else knows about except for them. He turns back to you, sucking in a breath. Your eyes hold the universe, sparkling when you look up at him. He catches his hand before it reaches out. Scratching the back of his neck. "They're not mad either." He whispers down to you.

Mere centimeters away, the pure smell of you has seonghwa wrapped. If anyone is mad, he's certainly covering for them just because he doesn't want your pretty eyes to shed any tears. "You promise?" It's completely quiet. Seonghwa looks down at your lips pouting out gently.

"I promise." He glances between your eyes and lips. His hand scraps up against the doorway, leaning into it.

The tension is noticeable between the two of you, hanging high in the air. Your eyes never move, neither does seonghwa. In this moment he has you locked in his siren like stare. In the same instance your big worried eyes hold seonghwa hostage. Neither wants to break apart.

"Have you thought about.. who you have to call when your heat hits?" Seonghwa pulls his pliable lip between his teeth again, trying to drag an answer he didn't know he wanted.

Your lips part, your tongue pokes out to wet them. A shining sheen seonghwa wants to drown himself in. "No... I was just gonna endure.." You whisper, cheeks feeling hot. Seonghwa, scans your eyes. "You did it on your own?" He whispers back heavily, his mouth falls open only the tiniest bit.

"Mhm" you nod. He sucks in a breath, images flash through his mind. "Poor 'mega" he sighs just under his breath, his free hand reaching up to rub his thumb just under your lip, he holds your chin "you didn't have your pack to help you, yeah?" He glances down at your lips. It takes all restraint in seonghwa to not turn down and capture you in the passion he's feeling. Your thighs shifting is what catches his eye.

Your sweet smell is stronger in his proximity. Seonghwa wants to drink it in. He has to keep composure. He reminds himself.

He turns away quickly, leaving you in the kitchen. Plate still in hand. You let out the breath you had been holding, holding the plate tightly.

What was that?

Less than two weeks. Less than two weeks you have a decision to make. Whether or not they'll take up your offer, you don't know. But seonghwas display of affection yesterday captured you in the tide of troublesome emotions.

The sun beams through your window, shedding your dark room with lights. The breeze pushes open your curtains. They swirl in the brisk morning air.

You hold the paper in your hands. The mail you hold is very important, very, very important. You have to fill in the blanks and can't change it until your heat after this upcoming one.

The line that stunts you, is your emergency heat contact. The people or person that you should immediately be directed to, to situate you and take care of you when you won't be able to.

The line is blank, it can be left that way.. but you have many names in mind to fill it. You just hope they'll want to be on it.

Why did I write him like that omg(i know exactly why). Thank you for the continuous support, mwuah.

taglist: @lelaleleb @bratty-tingz @0325tiny @smilefordongil @atinytinaa @unripeapple7 @ja3hwa @stopeatread @sousydive @voicesinmyhead-rc @giiouis @c4tboyxiao @eastleighsblog (if you wish to be added to taglist please comment under the main masterlist ♡ thank you)

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scribblesofagooner · 4 months

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Family, not by blood but by choice instead | awfc x reader

I messed up on this blog so I made a new one which is @scribblesofagoonerr so I’m gonna be posting over on there instead now.

You should have known, there was tell-tail signs all throughout the last several years and yet you were so blind about it all.

Your mother was a narcissist, she was manipulative and gaslighted you your whole life, you were always made out to the bad guy and she was the victim.

It was clear as day to anyone on the outside, but your niave self just chose to always believe different about things.

Looking back on the several years of your childhood, you had always thought you upbringing wasn't completely terrible. It was just the 2 of you, only your mum and you ever since you could remember. Your parents ended up splitting up when you were really little but ever since that day, you had always been made out to be the reason for their seperation.

You had always wonderd how it could be your fault. You was only 3 when he walked out, so how could it really be like that?

"You were always too much to handle. He couldn't cope," Your mum would say, all of them long nights when you would wrap your tiny arms around her and sob your little heart out to her.

"I'm here, you've got me. You've only ever got me," Her words were embedded in your head from the day that you'd decided to try and have an open conversation about the possibility of finding your dad. "Why go and find him? Haven't I been good enough. I'm the one that's looked after you all of these years and this is the thanks that I get in return?" It was always something that like, always a guiltrip and it was something that she knew would work well.

The harsh statement of the most recent conversation with the older woman left a bitter taste in your mouth and make you question every single thing in life.

"Aren't you happy for me? I made it, mum!" You exclaimed, you were happy enough to want to share the news with your mum but you found so dumbfound by her response which left you feeling shame and judgement for even wanting to tell her.

"Yes you have made it Y/N but you know, you only have me to thank for that now, don't you?" Your mum once again found a way to make it about herself, regardless of the situation; It was always and only ever about her. "I'm sure that you can find some way to thank me though. All of those years and the amount I have spent on football boots for you. You'd be nowhere if it wasn't for me and I think you owe me now, don't you?" she told you.

You remember feeling stunned by her words, there was a lot of emotions that you had felt building up inside as you were ultimately confused how she'd somehow managed to twist this to make it all about herself but of course she was quick enough to make an excuse to end the call when she grew bored of talking to you.

You should have knew better, every phone call always ended up being the same way and it always left you with a feeling of guilt for making a life for yourself and that phone call that night wasn't any different. You had just been so excited to spill the news, however that excitment soon faded and was replaced by confused feelings of upset and anger once you'd told her, you fought to hold in your tears during the initial phone call but you were on the verge of breaking by the time she had hung up.

That phone call was the one you told her about making it into the national team, you had only been a part of Arsenal womens' first team for under a year and it felt like a massive achievement to be selected to represent your country and immediately you couldn't wait to share the news with your mum - You thought that she'd be pleased for you but you couldn't be further away from the truth.

Ever since that phone call, you had tried your hardest to distance yourself from your mum but it hurt to do that. The women was the only blood related family member that you had, it had only ever been the 2 of you, together through thick and thin.

Flash forward to now, the current time where you are sitting on the sofa, you had returned home after a long training session and you couldn't help but think about it that conversation on a constant loop in your head.

"You were quiet tonight kidda," Leah perched on the arm of sofa as looked at you in concern. "I'm about to start cookin' tea. How's chicken dippers and smiley faces sound, eh?" she suggested.

"Mhm. Sure that sounds good to me," You mumbled as you kept your eyes focused on nothing but the telly.

The truth was that the conversation was constantly replaying in your head; The conversation, the bitterness and manipulation, every time you thought about it it then made you think of every other time that something like this happened.

Maybe your childhood wasn't as great as you really thought?

"Okay then... Is there anything that you want to talk about?" The blonde questioned, hoping for a bit more of an insight on your mood; Returning from her own rehab session, the entire car ride had been quiet compared to normal and the older woman couldn't help but feel something wasn't right.

"Nope," You stood firm in your reply, shaking your head as you kept your eyes glued on the TV screen; You couldn't really say that you payed much attention to whatever it was, the noise was pretty much a blur that was playing in the background.

"Are you sure?" Leah questioned, frowning worriedly as she took note of the tears welling up in your eyes. "Kidda, what's the matter? You look like you're gonna cry." she stated.

"I... I'm fine," You mumbled, fighting hard to keep the tears at bay until you could escape to your bedroom and allow yourself to be vulnerable and alone. You'd always felt complete shame to show any sort of vunterability in front of anyone, let alone the blonde footballer who'd virtually taken you under her wing ever since you joined during the transfer break of 2022.

You'd always been told that crying showed weakness and you refused to be seen as weak.

"Okay," Leah was quick to drop the subject when she realised you weren't going to open and talk about things. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it but just remember that I'm always here to listen. Anytime that you want too, alright?" she told you.

Unfortunately you were stubborn to not give in and blurt everything out in the open. You were just trying to wrap your head around the idea of things and see things for how they really were.

"Uh huh," You mumbled a response as you got up from the sofa and trudged in the direction of your bedroom.

Leah exhaled a sigh as she shook her head, herself heading into the kitchen to make a start on dinner. The woman knew better than to try and get you to talk if you didn't want too.

She'd always been around to witness the moments like this and the backlash of it. Of course the blonde knew this was all stemmed down to one person causing you to be like this and she hated that you were left upset every single time.

Every single time you and your mum fought, you'd always ended up quiet and in a bad mood, often resulting in lashing out at people around you as a coping mechanism.

None of the girls ever took it to heart, they were old enough to realise that none of your anger was directly aimed at them and there was bigger issues to be dealt with.

The Arsenal women all had their own opinions on the teens' mother but they would never voice them out loud to you. It wouldn't be fair on the youngest in the squad even after the countless times they had seen the girl upset by her own mums actions.

Ever since the teen had moved in, there had been several nights where Leah would be the one to comfort the girl and pick up the peices, waking up in the middle of the night to hear the teen's heartbroken sobs and feeling her own heart shatter every single time, wanting nothing more than take away any sort of pain the girl was experiencing.

It was heartbreaking for all of the team to witness and always sought out to comfort the teen no matter the situation. They knew that no matter they say, they couldn't stop her contacting her and she would be able to make her own decision soon enough when she turned 18 and until then they'd be the ones' to pick up the broken pieces when the mum let her daughter down.

They were your family, not by blood but by choice. You'd probably be lost without them sometimes.

"I... I should have realised sooner," You thought to yourself as you lay crumpled up on your bed that following night, it was almost near 4 in the morning and you were still wide awake with things racing through your head.

You couldn't help but think about things, how you should have noticed the tell-tail signs of her gaslighting you were old enough to properly realise, that was your first mistake.

Your second being that you believed her manipulation, she would always twist things to make her seem like the victim in all different situations - back when you were a child and even now as an adult.

How long it had taken you finally realise it after all of these years. Why hadn't you realised it sooner?

Without realising, you were sobbing aloud as you clutched on to your pillow tightly - the pent up anger was replaced by complete sadness and loss. You only ever wanted the approval of your mum about things and you fought so hard for it.

The phone call, the hopeful seal of approval... Every time it always seemed to be the same type of emotions when you spoke to your mum - It was a vicious cycle of emotional abuse, or so you'd been told from other people and you never wanted to believe it.

Only problem was that you'd not been able to see it yourself, even if it was clear as day. Even if regardless of a psychological therapist telling you this, you refused to believe them words. Nor your team mates, who had realised it the first time they had the chance to meet her and even then you wouldn't listen or hear them out.

It was your mum, your flesh and blood so how could she be like that? You had never been able to wrap your head around it.

The sound of sobs were what woke Leah up, she was quick to pad out of her bedroom and down the hall to where your bedroom was. "Kidda?" The women pushed the door open and her heart cracked to see you looking so distraught and vulnerable.

The blonde was quick to move to be right beside you, she was always the one to comfort you and she wouldn't ever stop doing that as long as you needed her.

"Hey, kidda. Come here," The blonde scooped you up in her arms and rocked you all while she ran her slender fingers through your messy bedhead. "You're okay. I'm here," she reassured you.

Leah was always patient enough to wait for you to calm down before she gave you the chance to speak, she wouldn't ever push you to talk if you didn't want too.

"L... Le," You cried aloud as you clutched onto her. You breath became shaky as sobs wracked your body.

"I'm here, it's okay," Leah spoke calmly, continuing to try and comfort you the best way she knew but she already knew it was going to be a long night ahead of them - An emotional night that would leave you drained tomorrow.

A vicious cycle of on a loop.

"Ready to tell me what's going on inside that head of yours, huh?" The blonde tried to carefully ask.

There was another brief pause of silence, nothing but the quiet sobs coming from you as the blonde continued to comfort you and reassure you that she was here and not leaving you.

To Leah's surprise, you did open up this time around, even if you didn't mean too.

"I should have realised. I should have... I should have realised," You made the mistake to speak aloud rather than think it like you thought you had.

"You should have realised what, kidda?" Leah questioned, confused about what you meant.

You snap your head in the blondes' direction as you bit your bottom lip, debating whether to be open with your thoughts that you tried so hard to keep buried inside.

"About my mum... I should have realised," You repeated your words as you fought the tears from spilling. "She's so... She's so-- Why does everything I tell her, why does it always get turned back around so it's about her?" That was it. You blurted out your own feelings - There was no hiding how you felt anymore.

Leah smiled sympathetically and moved onto the sofa to sit closer to you, wrapping her free arm around your shoulder to comfort you, "I... I don't know kidda," she spoke honestly.

"So many people, so many people have told me-- They've warned me about her but I have... I never wanted to listen," You confessed, the tears openly rolled down your cheeks and you probably looked a right blubbering mess but you couldn't stop your emotions pouring out. "And now... Now I finally realise how it's always been. Why is she like that, Le?" You asked.

"I can't say I know the answer to that one kidda, I wish I knew," Leah replied, exhaling a sigh as she couldn't fathem herself how a mother could be like that with her own child, she felt so much for the girl and always wished she could make the situation better for her. "Listen, I know it's hard but you've got us. All of us girls here at Arsenal and you're so loved by all of us." she told you.

"I... I just want her to love me, and she just... she doesn't even care about my feelings!" You stated, roughly wiping at your tear stained cheeks angrily to the point that you made them red. "Why does she always throw everything back in my face? Everything that I have ever done, she's always made it about her... Always!" you cried.

"I know, I know it hurts... I know it does," You kept your head buried in the blondes' chest as you hiccuped from the sudden breakdown in the middle of the night. "And I am sorry that you have to go through this. It's not fair on you kidda." Leah added, biting her bottom lip.

All of emotion had led you feeling exhausted in the end, you fought it hard to keep your eyes open as you lay slumped against the blonde woman.

"Come on let's get you back into bed, yeah? I mean you're almost falling asleep on me here, kidda," Leah joked with you, hoping for you to even crack a small smile as she gently moved you back to your bed and tucked you in under the duvet. "I'm so sorry you have had to deal with the kidda but you know you have a family here with us. We may not be blood but we really love you kidda." You heard the faint words spoken to you as you felt your eye lids close, completely warn out.

Sure, the Arsenal women weren't family by blood but instead they were family by choice and that was more important. They were there for you whenever you needed them and you knew you felt safe with them around. You truly felt happy with your chosen family.

#woso fanfics #woso x reader #leah williamson x reader #arsenal women #woso #woso imagine #leah williamson #awfc x reader #light angst

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konigsblog · 10 months

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Cute innocent cottage core you deciding to look for herbs in the woods only for a snow storm to end up starting and you lose your way! :(

Coming across a big cabin and knocking on the door only to find big mean lumberjack Price.

Little ol you shivering and trembling pleading to come inside just for a little while.

Price grumbling at what a stupid girl you are and pulling you in :(

Stripping you off your snow soaked clothes and sitting you in front of the fireplace with a blanket but you're still so cold!

Price beckoning you on to his lap so he can warm you up and you're so thankful. But then eek he starts to bad touch you! >_<

omg stop i love this idea STOP; (lumberjack!price x f!village!!reader)

you weren't planning on going out for too long, but once you looked back, you couldn't remember which way you went :( you went in multiple directions, believing you were in the correct direction, only leading you towards an old cabin. it reeked of cigars and beer, and you could hear the faint and distant sounds of a tv inside the building !! you knocked off the door, your teeth chittering due to harsh and cold climates.

an older man, a lumberjack, who's name was price answered the door, a cigar between his teeth, no doubt that was were the pungent smell of smoke lingered from. you explained you situation, desperately hoping for him to let you inside as the sky turned dark and dusk settled. “alright, c'mon.” his husky and deep voice felt comforting yet intimidating, his larger build a sign not to mess with him. “stupid fuckin' girl..” price whispered under his beer filled breath, and if you weren't in such a horrible situation, you would've gave him a piece of your mind, but instead you decided to forget about what he'd said.

his hands grasped at your jacket, pulling it off and throwing it on a coat hanger. grabbing at your hat and throwing it on the couch, dragging you along with him to his bedroom. “you'll be here for a few days, snow storm, doll.” he threw you a large t-shirt, his t-shirt, waiting for you to strip and get changed. “do you have to be in here while i change?" he sighed, grumbling. “look i'm doin' you a favour, girl.- just get changed, s'not a big deal.” he watched and inspected you as you changed, getting naked before him, quickly throwing on the piece of clothing he'd gave you. you noticed his gaze lingered on your body, a bulge beginning to form in his pants at the sight.

you felt your cunt grow wet, oddly. you ignored it, being pushed infront of the fireplace with a blanket draped over your form. you thanked him, again, an idea planted in his head. “wanna show me how grateful you are?” you thought nothing of it, niave. being thrown onto the couch, his hands already wandering up the shirt, grasping at your tits and pressing his bulge against your cunt.

a whimper escaped you lips, squirming and whimpering, feeling vulnerable underneath him :( you did wanna be grateful, though. letting him take your wet panties off, soaked from falling in the snow countless times and from your arousal. his cock sprung from his boxers, shoving himself inside you without preparation, listening to your mewls and gasps !! you whined, feeling as he began pounding into you. “c'mon, sweethear', told me you wanted to be grateful..” he encouraged you to fuck yourself back on his meaty cock, the stretch painful yet pleasurable, grinding yourself back on his length :((((

“that's it, show me that you're glad i've let you inside.” you increaded your pace, desperately trying to show him that you were thankful, fucking yourself back ok his size until he came all inside you :( making such a mess and forcing you to lick it all up while he takes your ass this time ! his cock buried inside your ass, hole stretched to allow his big dick, slamming into you again and again until you were gasping for air :( then giving him head, tasting the mixture of your slick and bitter cum on your tongue, wincing at the metallic, bitter taste. “still don't think you're that thankful..”

you sat on his lap, letting him grope you while he smoked a cigar, blowing the smoke into your face and spanking your pretty, raw pussy whenever you scrunched your face up in disgust. “good girl, lettin' me touch you like this.. so naughty, what would the others think about you bein' fucking stupid by a lumberjack?”

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recreationalfanfics · 1 year

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No because Yandere! Poseidon is pretty cool romantic wise, ig, but have we considered this idea:

Yandere Dad Poseidon whose child chooses to fight for Humanity A N D sees Kojiro Sasaki as their new father figure??

Imagine it: Yandere Dad Poseidon whose pretty harsh on his kid because he sees them as this perfect creation, they are his pride and joy, but he just has to push them a little further. He's doing this for them, not realizing he's hurting them and the fact he isn't all that affectionate could...potentially send the wrong message. I already wrote a little about how he'd feel if his child betrayed him but never the idea of them PICKING A HUMAN OVER HIM.

Like during his fight with Sasaki, let's say Sasaki was going to lose and Poseidon was going to kill him but then you used your powers to create a shield of water between him and that lowly human and Poseidon wants to feel proud.

You look so strong, so confident and powerful. His perfect Godling...but why are you protecting that useless worm? Then you finally say it.

"Please, dad, stay with me!"

Dad. It sounds more tender than father and the pleading tone of your voice makes Poseidon step towards you until Kojiro laughs weakly.

"C'mon, Kid, chin up. You're a God."

He's right, you are a God. The perfect child. The most precious apple of Poseidon's eye, so why did you call that HUMAN "DAD"?

"(Y/n)? What is the meaning of this?" He demands, "Was your betrayal not enough?"

"I'm sorry if I want to defend the only man who acted like a father to me!"

"Ridiculous. That FILTH was not there when you were born, he did not hold you, he did not watch your first steps. I don't know what madness has overcome you but you will come back to us Gods-"

"NO. I WON'T! AND DON'T SPEAK ABOUT HIM THAT WAY. HE MIGHT BE A HUMAN BUT HE HAS BEEN MORE OF A FATHER TO ME THAN YOU EVER HAVE BEEN. You're not just the Tyrant of the Seas, you're the Tyrant of your own child's life! I HAVE GIVEN EVERYTHING I HAD TO BE THIS PERFECT HEIR TO YOUR THRONE AND IT STILL WASN'T ENOUGH. YOU HURT ME AND CALL IT "LOVE", YOU INSULT AND BERATE ME AND ROLL YOUR EYES WHEN I CRY. DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME?"

Of course he did, you foolish child. He loved you more than anything in this world.

Like Poseidon would be WAY too prideful to admit that he was wrong, that's for sure. So he'd argue and argue and do that parent thing where they're all: "Oh, I don't remember doing that traumatic thing to you." and you just aren't having it.

"As of today, I'm no longer your child, Poseidon. So if you want to get to Sasaki Kojiro, you'll have to get through me!"

And Poseidon looks directly at Sasaki and there's a new wave of hatred in his eyes.

It's not your fault, his little godling. You're young and niave, it was that HUMAN'S fault for tainting your mind. Yet Poseidon knows that you're serious about defending Sasaki Kojiro so he calls off the fight.

But be warned, dear child of his, he will save you from the clutches of humanity and restore you back to divine perfection, no matter what it takes.

What kind of father would be if he didn't?

#yandere poseidon x reader ror #yandere snv poseidon #platonic yandere #familial yandere #ror poseidon #tw yandere #ror poseidon x reader #tw implied abuse #tw implied child abuse

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fandomfluffandfuck · 2 months

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Hi Sir, do you think Sebastian has a Daddy Kink. Y’ know considering his past, and the situation with his biological father. I know you have written about Sebastian calling Chris “Daddy”, but I mean it more as in, do you think he maybe has Daddy Issues, and therefore calls Chris “Daddy”?

I sent in the “Daddy Kink ask” and thinking about it more, I realize how disturbing (towards you and Sebastian) that may sound. I swear it wasn’t meant like that. I’m just a very curious person. So feel free to just delete the ask if it makes you uncomfortable!

Hey, sweets!

No, but I actually like this ask because I feel like this general idea is A Thing in both the vanilla world and the kink world, I can't and won't put words in your mouth specifically, but I have noticed generally that people tend to pair the idea of trauma and kink.

Definitely, there's the stereotype that kinks are born from trauma. Which, yes, is true in some people. However, it's not the overall rule. Then, the myth that all kinks come from trauma can then extend into the stereotype that all people with kinks are "broken" or "fucked up" in some way. Fucked up by said assumed trauma. Also, of course, this isn't true.

But, with that being said, personally, I have noticed that there's is some correlation between people who look outwardly fucked up (or, as my parents would say, "scary") in that they're tattooed, pierced, or have alternative aesthetics that stray from the "norm". My idea for that correlation is, well, hey, if you're not going to fit in with mainstream society in one way, then you might as well not fit in, in all the different ways that you feel. Why pretend? Why not just fucking go for it? (That's how I feel. I mean, I also am just... like that. Genuinely. It's not a conscious link for me a lot of the time, trauma -> aesthetic -> kink, I just see where they bleed into each other. It just so happens that I fucking love kink and I love metal music and I love body art and I love the gothic/emo/alternative/whatever you want to call it, aesthetic.)

Although, at the same time, as paradoxical as it is, it's niave to think that how you're raised and what your parents are like doesn't shape how you go into your relationships and your life. I'm paraphrasing, but as Chris once said, your parents shape how you love. They teach you how to love (x). You can absolutely outgrow that basis, but it's also a basis.

Anyway, where am I going here?

All this is to say that I have no idea if Sebastian has daddy issues. Granted, I also have no idea if Sebastian has a daddy kink. I don't know Sebastian.

Not everyone with daddy issues will have a daddy kink, and there are plenty of people with daddy kinks that don't have daddy issues. (At least, they wouldn't consider themselves to have daddy issues, looking specifically at how the Western world expects fathers to act when raising children. Personally, I think most people have issues based on that, but I also recognize that based on my life experience... I'm probably just being cynical, lmao.)

And for Sebastian, I don't think it's about trauma or issues. I think it's about power dynamics. I think it's about the general idea of daddy. The biggest, the best, the most capable, comforting, and caring yet stern, too. We've all seen how easily Seb crumbles with praise, and I think, related to that, Sebastian responds so well to having someone telling him what to do in the soft-but-still-authoritative role. That's what gets him in my mind.

Also, it's worth pointing out that I don't think it would go back to his biological father for Sebastian because he wouldn't've known his biological father as "Daddy" because it would've been the Romanian equivalent for the English affection name for a father. He might've been encouraged to call his step-father that, but, eh, he was older by that point, so it's unlikely in my mind.

All in all, I have no right to speculate, really. Seb's a real person, a real person I don't know, so I don't know, and I won't ever know either 🤷🏻‍♂️

#asks #sebastian stan #chris evans #evanstan #rpf #real person fanfiction #kink discussion

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vaggietheangel · 1 year

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This a silly headcanon that might not come true.

I like the idea that Charlie is very knowledgeable in but she doesn’t have much experience using it for fighting.

Let me explain!

Since Charlie has always been protected and is a pacifist, she does the have the reflexes that come from fighting. She knows hand to hand combat and will use it just fine. However, she doesn’t used her actual powers to defend herself.

For example, she knows how to create magical shields to protect from angelic gun shots. However, if Valentino shot her with a angelic gun, she could not pull a shield fast enough to protect herself.

During the pilot, you noticed that Sir pentious had a weapon pointing at her and her crew. It was about to hurt them. However, Charlie did not even try to defend them. She froze in place. She could not react in time. So, Alastor had to save them.

I like the idea that as time passes in the hotel, she is forced to use her powers more to protect everyone. So, her reflexes get better over time. She learns how to react faster. what do you think?

Hey there hun! 🩷

Yes I love this idea! Charlie is a pacifist at heart. She only uses violence for self defence and would never kill anyone. Sort of like Aang from Avatar. Even if someone is completely evil she wouldn't have the heart to kill them. She would find another way.

Using the grimore to drain them off all their magical abilities and strength. Then, keeping them in a high protection prison. Charlie may even visit them often to try to get them on the path to redemption. She's not niave enough to let her gaurd down around those people. She'd still keep a constant eye on them.

Charlie would never allow someone like Valintino into the hotel. Even if she wanted to redeem him, Angel's safety and comfort comes first.

She would definitely use the grimore to study peaceful spells. Charlie would also try to develop her healing powers. In the hopes that she can revive an exterminated sinner. That hasn't worked yet.

#hazbin hotel #Charlie hazbin hotel #Charlie Morningstar #hazbin hotel Charlie

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91cmspoilers · 5 months

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@wickedserpent continued from here!

For someone named with the title Ultimate Nurse, she was painfully clumsy. Her niave and meek nature made her easy to target. What did she do to deserve to be treated this way? Izuru doesn't care. Yet, he couldn't just ignore her in leave her there. With the amount of broken glass and needles scattered about-- It would be a hazard to himself and anyone who would walk past. And knowing the nurse, she'd hurt herself even more....

Which leads him here, in the infirmary, taking care of her wounds. Tsumiki instantly froze at his request-- As expected, given her nature. The way his spoke was blunt and direct... Much like his twin, Hajime. But the tone he used was very much monotone to the point it it struck fear into others, such as Tsumiki.

"I said be still. Not hold your breath."

He senses her anxiety.

With gloved hands, he carefully plucks the remaining pieces of glass out of her skin, placing them onto a small plastic tray. His skill could rival their own... His red eyes focused every detail on her arm, careful not to open any wounds as he does so. Once done, he cleans the cuts... Applying pressure on them to cease the bleeding.

#injury cw #needles cw #wickedserpent #DONT WORRY TSUMIKI UR IN GOOD HANDS... even if hes mildly annoyed #hes got resting bitch face

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berryscaryskies · 5 months

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Havent gotten very far in Jupiter gen yet really, but wanted to write stuff down before I forgot it lol

"Your whole life you’ve dreamed of having a big family, and well you’re a bit of a bleeding heart always having your doors open for whoever needs you. Your kids would say you’re a tad too protective and you also maybe ran into this whole parenthood thing faster than you should’ve but there’s no better way to learn than first-hand experience!"

-Iker was actually closer friends with Gaelle initially, and despite the two being kind of distant Gaelle often feels a wolfy sense of protection for her twin sister. So the two generally run in the same circle of friends. Iker and Stormi really hit it off and with only a mild suggestion from Gaelle led to the two sort of niavely getting into a romantic relationship. I imagine a lot of their early relationship was a lot more platonic than either intended. They acted more like besties than anything, but slowly the two really did fall for one another. Stormi still sometimes get caught up having a crush on Iker despite currently being married to him.

-Fun thing I was Not aware of until the two moved into their own household is that Iker actually comes from a family of spellcasters?? Like he's of an ancient bloodline and everything. Which paired with Stormi's dormant wolf is honestly so fascinating. Like from a Sims lore perspective that sim werewolves were once considered a branch spellcasters themselves before corrupting into what they are now. Also the fact that I like to imagine neither was actually aware of their family's history and were happy with the totally normal human life together away from their supernatural heritage.

-Stormi's always envisioned a life with a big family full of extended relatives and children, and it's something her and Iker can both agree on. Stormi always felt somewhat isolated growing up, she loved her mother and sister and didn't exactly desire to go through the hardships of being a werewolf the way they had to, but nonetheless felt distant from them. And considering the isolated cottage on the outskirts of town with only her mother and sister around really it's no wonder she grew up feeling rather Lonely and misunderstood. Shayne joining the family I think helped a lot, he's a bit of a weirdo tbh but he was kind and human and that allowed him to be a good parental figure for Stormi to latch onto. Regardless the goal for Stormi is to have 5 kids(at least one of them being adopted)

-Stormi and Iker's first son is named Galileo (after the satellite) I imagine they often call him Gali for short which will annoy him when's older since "leo" is obviously the cooler nickname option though no one goes with it. He's actually a werewolf too!! I hadn't really expected it and then the lil newborn baby started Howling to get their attention it was crazy. I like to imagine he'll grow up to be like an overprotective oldest brother type, lil guard dog of the family haha

-Stormi worked as a primary school teacher(i like to imagine she eventually winds up a high school teacher) actually and because of that connection she wound up with an emergency foster certification that allowed for Juno to come into their home. Juno's only a toddler, and she's a bit shy but Stormi, Iker, and Galileo all absolutely adore her so it's no wonder the filed for adoption. Stormi is also currently pregnant with baby number three who will probs be the Saturn generation.

i just use like a normal blonde in game but canonically I imagine her as more of a strawberry blonde

#planetary challenge #stormi solare

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fleur-du-soleil-immortel · 6 months

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How would the ROs react if the MC is completely and (totally) oblivious to their feelings?

A- they would be amused, they may mess with you a bit and if less suitors (outside those of poly or possible Harem route) are around you then it's not their problem. If it goes on too long they may just have to be more blunt.

W- they wouldn't say anything, they are still trying to come around to their feelings about you! Besides, isn't this just a sign you aren't interested but maybe you are? They would feel majorly anxious.

C- they would walk over to you and state they have feelings for you, they may be a flustered akward mess when it comes to romance but they always have believed that open communication solves most issues.

Asher- they realize as someone who flirts a lot with others their feelings may not be taken seriously, it's their own fault but still they have never been so in love and they do want to want you, they may just brush it off and try to deal with their feelings alone.

L- they would be determined to reveal it to you, they will take you on a romantic outing where they would reveal their feelings to you, asking you how you feel.

R- would just be annoyed at the fact you don't seem to realize they like you. They may even insult you, calling you niave and saying how they should be concerned that your so dumb, if it weren't for them looking out for you how have you not died yet? Then they will look annoyed as they tell you that they guess they will just have to watch out for you until one of you is dead.

Sorry I took so long to answer I've been feeling unmotivated but I did have every intention to answer this and wanted to wait till I was in a better headspace and could properly answer.

#interactive fiction #interactive game #if wip #fleur du soleil immortel #interactive novel #no demo #if game #interactive story #fleur du soleil immortel if asks #if asks

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kittytheartist · 2 years

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people can leave Teru the fuck alone now

Teru's dialogue and face expressions in chapter 87 was so distraught that even to this day it surprises me how quickly people threw Teru under the rug again?

Teru is a harder character to read sure, but too hard to understand what actually happened in chapter 87?

Teru's eyebrow movement is a huge part to telling his character!

look here, we can see Teru's frustration right? but his right eyebrow is twitched, which is his clear sign of discomfort, annoyance, and overall hurt. Teru here, is completely hurt by the damage Hanako has caused for his already crumbling life, Hanako hasn't just fucked up an innocent livings life span but hurt the people he knows by doing so, Akane's life is ruined, Kou's life will never be the same, Hanako has just been making this worse for Kou. Hanako is completely insufferable and foolish, childish, and all the niave jazz, Teru hates it, can't stand it to be more exact.

and before then his eyebrows stayed quite monotonous, and blunt, he's quite frustrated and concentrated, he wants to get rid of Hanano clearly and has no other objectives at the moment (besides Aoi ofc)

here Teru is satisfied with breaking through Hanako's thick skull, but he's still pissed which we can see in his eyebrow movement and his low smile

but here, after Kou interrupts his fight, he's quite pissy, and his eyebrows tilt downward in the middle only to raise at the top, he's exhausted and is sick of Kou not being able to make up his mind.

here it shows Teru having his eyebrows fully narrowed which is a expression we've never seen him wear before, it's always been his low-key eyebrows like above, so this just goes to show how much pain this has caused for Teru, he's hurt, so confused, Kou has never acted this way before he me Hanako, it's something that Teru will never understand about Kou. it's frustrating for him, Teru is used to knowing, this is all a first, it's something Teru doesn't have the slightest idea on.

here is an even more emotional panel, Teru doesn't have narrowed eyes because he doesn't care, it's because he cares too much, he's deep in thought, his head is cluttered, and most of all he feels betrayed by family. the edge of his mouth in the second panel has a slight curve at the tip while the rest is wanting to shut up, he clearly doesn't want to speak yet he can't stop, having so many emotions he's never expressed before is a lot on a 17 year old. all he wants is to shut Kou up. it's all too much for Teru, but he could never shut Kou up, he's never done that, and didn't even when he himself was crumbling infront of his own brother.

here his lip curls downward and his eyes and eyebrows are out of view here, clearly hiding his own emotions with Kou's and hiding behind Kou, he's clearly trying to hide his face. he's hunched over himself too, he's trying to find somewhere to hide but he's already throwing himself out there. even Teru's grip on his sword and Kou isn't tight from frustration, it's just strained and hurt.

and I'm sure you've noticed from all these images, Teru's eyes are always near a squint and his lashes cover half of his face. which he does when he's about to cry, breakdown, has something on his mind, ect. you get my drift? also a major point to reading his facial expressions, is the strain at the inner edge of his eye.

it's clearly narrowed and we can see the tear ducts trying to dry his eyes, but with what we're seeing, it's barely holding, Teru's eyes are filled with tears, but his first reactions to emotions has never been to cry, but here his eyes are clearly distressed. they're wrinkled near the nose in oppression and distress, we can see the under of his eye puff out from the button lid being drawn in, and the natural reaction to get rid of tears is to blink or squint, his eyes are very strained here, and he's clearly very tired, over worked, stressed and overall doesn't need Kou's shit right now. especially not him going behind his back, Teru showed a sign of trust by letting him come with him, and letting him take care of the Red House himself (not knowing he messed with shit about the past obviously) and completely lost faith in Kou after he gave his trust.

needless to say. Kou wasn't the one who was hurt in chapter 87 it was

Teru.

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chestnut-trotter · 3 months

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Short Gothic Vampire Story

Short story I wrote about a niave vampire being kept locked up for his own saftey by his parents rapunzel style. He of course does not know he is a vampire lol

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The young woman felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end and her skin crawl. She cautiously checked behind her. It was dark. So dark she had to strain her eyes to see just a few feet ahead of her. Clouds shrouded the night sky. The full moon barely breaking through to illuminate the ground she walked on. It was quiet. The only sound heard was the gravel path that crunched beneath her feet.

Out the corner of her eye she thought she saw movement between the trees. She stopped walking. The sound of two feet stopping on the gravel came after.

She was being followed.

Afraid to turn around, she waited. There was an agonising silence. Her heart belting erratically against her ribcage felt unbearable. Maybe if she broke into a sprint, she would make it to the town ahead of her. There only had to be a about a mile left of her journey. But would they catch up to her first?

Before she could make a decision, she heard footsteps again. The sharp night air hitched in her throat, she wanted to run but found her limbs were as stiff as stone. The footsteps got louder and louder.

A figure slowly approached her. In the dark, she could only make out their silhouette.

‘Who’s there?’ she called out.

The figure was slow to respond, it was only when they stopped before her, did they speak.

‘You do not know my name, but we met many years ago.’

Now up close to the stranger, she could make out his features. He had a slim frame that towered over hers. Shoulders slumped as he held his hands up to his chest, fingers fidgeting. His droopy hazel eyes shone in the moonlight and gazed down at her. He had skin like porcelain, as though it were a stranger to the sun. His cheekbones were sharp and framed perfectly by locks of wavy ebony hair. He looked like an antique that was dusted and polished frequently; kept locked up in a dark room where no one was allowed to even breathe on him.

She found this mysterious stranger alluring.

~~~~

The thrill of sneaking out of the house still felt as exhilarating as it did the first time. No matter how many times Stirling would tip-toe down the dimly lit halls; or climb out that window in the west wing which only he knew had a broken lock; or weave between bushes in the garden as the cold air would nip at his face; Stirling would still feel his hands shake. Unlike the first time he snuck out, it was not the act of escaping that excited him, but the thought of seeing that girl again.

It had been six, agonizing years; yet Stirling could still remember that fateful night as though it were just yesterday. Thoughts of her haunting him day and night. A longing he had never known before weighed heavy on his heart – a longing to hear her melodic voice dance between his ears, to see her kind smile that melted his heart, and to feel her soft hand clasped around his own.

That night, he was in such a rush that he did not notice the girl until he tripped over feet. He was a fool not to. No amount of apologising would ever forgive such a thoughtless action – and yet she apologised to him before he could. The full moon her halo as she peered down at his crumpled form in the dirt. His cheeks were ablaze as he soaked in her beauty – he felt unworthy to be in her presence. Beneath her was where he belonged. He hesitated when she offered him her hand but has never regretted taking it.

He vowed to never forget her every detail. But as the years passed, the memory became less vivid. It was fading like the mist of his breath on the window as he would stare longingly into the night.

He must find her.

The first night Stirling snuck out all those years ago, he was young – a rebellious teenager that did not heed his parents’ warning. He only wished to see what the world outside was like out of pure spite. He was angry that his parents would imprison him in his own home. All in the name of “safety”. Having lived within the same walls all his life, surrounded by servants that would come and go as he grew older; all wearing the same dull uniform and a vacant expression; he was bored.

After about the hundredth argument with his parents on the matter, in the heat of the moment he made his escape – leaving behind him a breadcrumb trail and was quickly caught. As consequence, he was kept under lock and key in his room for a whole year. After which, Stirling planned his escape route carefully, and only left the house once a month to not arouse any suspicion.

It had worked successfully so far. His parents never saying a word to allude that they knew of his escapades. However, the young man was getting impatient. The gnawing at his heart getting more unbearable as each day passed that he could not see her. Stirling would sneak out twice a month, then eventually thrice. Each night he would wander in search of her just that little bit longer, only making the pang of disappointment sharper when she would not appear before him.

~~~~

‘You must have me mistaken for someone else.’ the woman’s voice was more mature but just as sweet as Stirling remembered. Although he did not expect her voice to hurt him so. Her words like a knife, plunged into his chest.

‘Do you not recognise me?’

The woman only shook her head.

Stirling felt his heart fall into the pit of his stomach. This was a new kind of pain. It was different from the melancholy he felt each night that he could not see her.

He waited years for this reunion. The whole time she cruelly plagued his thoughts and haunted his dreams. But she had forgotten who he was.

He meant nothing to her.

‘Do you not remember that night, six years ago, when I tripped, and you graciously helped me back to my feet.’ Stirling could hear his voice quivering.

‘I am terribly sorry. I do not remember such a thing. If I did indeed help you, it was quite the trivial act of kindness.’

‘But I have thought about that moment, every day for the past six years. Your trivial act of kindness – as you so call it – meant so much to me. I have been searching for you ever since.’ Stirling stepped forward and clasped the woman’s hands in his own shaking ones. She appeared shocked but he did not care. He was afraid to lose her. ‘Your beauty consumed me from the moment we met. Our language could never hope to contain you. Even the most elegant words would sound primal in comparison to your grandeur.’

Words Stirling had recited to himself each night as he lay in bed, tumbled out of his mouth with little remorse. All the emotions he had bottled up inside himself for years, now spilled out like the warm tears that trailed down his cheeks. He was overjoyed to see those same tears flow from the woman’s eyes.

Did she finally come to her senses and remember him? Or was his romantic speech enough to move her?

‘Your words flatter me, sir. But could you please let go, you’re crushing my hands.’

Stirling quickly released her hands from his grasp. As he did, he noticed how red her fingers were, her hands shaking violently. ‘Ah- Please forgive me. Let me kiss them better.’ He reached out for her hands again, but the woman drew back. As she did, she stepped on a fallen stick and it rolled beneath her, causing her to lose her balance. She fell to the ground, her hands catching her fall.

‘Ow…’ she muttered.

Stirling stepped forward to help her back to her feet. She eyed him cautiously but accepted the help.

Stirling opened his mouth to apologise once again, but something distracted him. A completely intoxicating scent clouded his thoughts. Sniffing the air, he followed it to the hand of hers he still held. He turned it around to find a gash in her palm.

‘I must have cut my hand when I fell. Please don’t worry about it, I can patch it up when I get home.’

Stirling was no longer thinking straight; he knew that as much. He could feel something taking over him, something he could not control. His senses felt heightened. He could hear her heartbeat race like a rabbit’s. He could feel the blood travelling through her veins under her flesh that that he held.

As if on instinct, Stirling held her hand up to his mouth and licked her wound clean. It tasted sweeter than any dessert he had ever eaten. He wanted more – no, he needed more.

His mouth trailed down to her wrist, he could feel her blood pulsing underneath his lips, tempting him. Unable to hold back anymore, he bit down into her flesh, piercing her skin easily. Warm blood gushed into his mouth and ran down his needy throat.

Stirling knew the woman was squirming under his grasp and was yelling at him stop, but he could not find it in himself to care.

‘You monster!’ that snapped Stirling back into reality.

He hastily released her. Fear shone in her eyes; her skin paler than it was before. How much had he drunk?

‘I-I don’t know what came over me.’

But the woman didn’t want to hear his excuses, she instead ran, leaving Stirling alone in the dark with his guilt.

#writing #writers on tumblr #fiction #short story #gothic fiction #vampire story #gothic vampire

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konigsblog · 10 months

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i’m such a whore for gaz lately like… high sex with older bf!gaz 🤭🥴 - stqrgir1e

olderbf!gaz who gets you high :( getting the two of you some expensive weed, watching as you become all high infront of him. he prefers if you do it in his house, knowing that you'd be niave and unaware of what the people around you could do.

loves that high expression on your face, just fucked-out stupid, giggling at the smaller of things and whining about everything :( deciding to fuck you nice and slow so you'll calm down. his aching and throbbing length thrusted inside your wet and slick cunny, using both your wetness and his precum as lube to slide inside, easing into your hole and sighing with satisfaction when he bottoms out :(

slow and deep thrusts causing you to whimper, feeling so so good under his grasp, his grip on your hips gentle yet tight. full and fat balls smacking against your ass as he increases his pace slighty, just enough to get the both of you all sticky and tired, his salty and thick seed oozing from your hole :(

probably gets you greened out :(

#orla speaks #gaz call of duty #gaz mw2 #gaz cod #gaz smut #kyle gaz garrick x reader #kyle gaz garrick #gaz garrick #gaz garrick x reader #kyle garrick #sergeant garrick

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sleuthy-scientist · 11 months

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A Mother's Love Part III

Elizabeth read the words her daughter had carefully written to her. She had to re-read it three times, finding it difficult to digest and get through the contents in its entirety.

Frustrated, she could feel a migraine coming on from the tension and stress of her emotions. There was no mistaking the tears welling in her eyes, for anything other than hurt, sadness, and guilt.

Their relationship had always been strained, but she never thought it would get to this point. Where her daughter lost her patience and cut ties with her. She never considered it would come to this.

Finding out she was going to be a grandmother, yet it was short lived and bittersweet excitement. Because, Emily was pregnant with a child, she might never be allowed to meet. And reading the painstaking words, she couldn't blame Emily for her position.

Elizabeth wondered if she hadn't had her assistant turn Emily away in her attempts to visit, if this letter would still have been delivered today. Or if she had bothered to take a second to make time for her, Emily would have informed her of her impending motherhood in person.

A part of her was glad Emily hadn't been present when she learned the news of her grandchild. Elizabeth knew she would likely have made some snide remark about Aaron, Emily's work, or unmarried status. Starting yet another fight between them, a fight, she now knew Emily foresaw. One Elizabeth knew she had already avertently lost.

Although they had never been close, Elizabeth never doubted Emily's love for her. Her daughter was a kind, generous, niave, and carefree soul. Even when she was rambunctious or rebellious, she was never intentionally malicious. Elizabeth knew as hurt and betrayed as she felt, her daughter likely was equally as devastated, if not more so.

Emily didn't have the capacity to hold grudges, she had always been too forgiving for her own good. Elizabeth had always worried her naive belief in trying to find the good in others, would only ever disappoint her. Elizabeth knew she was a hypocrite on this matter, only further proving what little she knew of her daughter right.

She took it for granted that she would always have Emily's love in her life. Her daughter had been the one thing in her life that was permanent, she had never thought she could lose her.

And while her daughter wasn't living the life she wanted for her, Elizabeth knew Emily could take care of herself. She had proven her intelligence and independence from an early age. She had never seemed to need her before. And now she truly realised how little she did, and she felt she neither wanted or needed to make an effort.

But Elizabeth realized there was no point in lying to herself any longer. She knew Emily was right, that she always put work first. Unlike her daughter, she had always needed recognition, fueled by the praises of the public.

Emily had typically been the opposite, hating being the center of attention, having all eyes focused on her. Elizabeth knew her daughter acted out for the attention and love she craved. The things as her mother she had withheld not fully realising the damage and effects she caused.

She wanted to scoff and brush it off, like what she had written was fiction and utterly ridiculous. But, Elizabeth knew Emily hadn't lied in her letter. It was a tough pill to swallow now, knowing just how much she had hurt her daughter.

Elizabeth had foolishly thought her job was everything, that it would keep her busy and give her life fulfillment until she died. But she could smell the blood in the water, knowing she was becoming irrelevant in the political sphere. It had been that way for awhile, as he just hadn't wanted to admit it, even to herself.

One day soon, she would outlive her usefulness and eventually be replaced. It pained her, because for so long it was the only thing she could control, the only thing that made sense to her. It gave her a rush and made her feel alive, when she felt she was failing at everything else.

And now it may have cost her the only relationship she had, that had ever consisted of unconditional love. A love Emily had bestowed on her, so selflessly, one that she hadn't even made an effort to try and return. One she might be too late to even try to repair.

Regardless, Elizabeth knew she must accept her blame and responsibility in the matter, if she had any hope of fixing things. Even if she didn't know why Emily couldn't find a life without so much danger. Why she couldn't understand the choices that lead her daughter down such a thankless path.

She knew Emily wasn't asking anything impossible from her, that what she wanted was reasonable. Elizabeth just didn't know how to get past the barrier in between them. How to even begin to broach the subject after receiving this letter. Emily had left the ball in her court, Elizabeth knew she had to be the one to reach out this time and make an effort.

She had missed out on so much of her daughter's life and had nothing to really show for it. She wanted to do better and see her grandchild grow up. Well grandchildren, Elizabeth knew for Emily's sake she would need to include Jack in that category.

That, she had to learn to accept the choices and life, her daughter made for herself. Knowing Emily may never forgive her, because she had never been the kind of parent a child deserved. But, Elizabeth knew now, she both wanted and needed Emily in her life.

And while she had never taken the time to see her daughter in a maternal setting, she had no doubt Emily was already a much better parent then she ever had. That Jack and however many other children they had, Emily would love them all equally.

It already amazed her, how seamlessly her daughter accepted a child that wasn't her own. The lengths she was willing to go, only further showing how fiercely she protected him and his father. The way they constantly sought out her affection, which she gave so openly and freely. The comfort and happiness she felt in their presence alone, in turn, was obvious.

Elizabeth wondered if her and Emily had ever had a fraction of the bond her daughter shared with Jack. How long had she failed her, been too blinded by her lust for power and greed, succeeding in a man's world. Had she permanently lost the one good thing, that she had no right to take credit for?

Her daughter had always had this innate kindness about her. When she was young she could charm anyone with a sweet smile and a few words. But her favourite thing had been picking and collecting flowers to give to people.

She could recall when Emily was little and went around picking and collecting flowers to give people. Even then she was always thinking of others, trying to find some way to connect and welcome them.

Other dignitaries used to think it was the most adorable little diplomatic gesture, often citing Elizabeth for her wonderful parenting raising such a kind soul. She could recall smiling back at them, knowing her daughter had a bright future in politics, following in her footsteps.

She had once asked Emily why she did it, sure she would get some ridiculous response like "flowers are pretty mommy ". But her daughter surprised her saying "It's scary being somewhere new, far away from home. I want them to have something bright and happy to see everything is ok."

At the time, she thought it was a rather peculiar thing for her six year old to say. Now it saddened her, Emily had always been wise beyond her years, with such a sensitive side. Her selflessness and loyalty, knew no bounds.

Yet now, Elizabeth couldn't remember why or even when her daughter stopped doing that sentimental gesture for others. Or what other parts of her daughter she missed, barrly watching her grow up from afar.

It pained her to look back now and see as successful of a career as she had, to know what a failure as a parent she had been. Knowing she couldn't right the wrongs of her past. Wrongs, that may have permanently altered any future relationship she hoped to have with her daughter or grandchildren.

How many times had she put her own priorities above Emily, knowing she was young and resilient, took everything in stride. That her child was getting rewarding experiences and the best education afforded to her. Telling herself she was only setting Emily up for the future, opening every door in daughter's path for her.

Thinking her lazy, and ungrateful for squandering all she had been given. Knowing she had been wrong to even think that. Being able to see first hand, the difference Emily made in her job. The way she helped people, those so scared and alone, get justice for themselves and their loved ones.

That while it wasn't glamourous and what she dreamed for her daughter, Emily had done it all on her own. Elizabeth was left wishing, she had taken an interest, tried to understand, had shown her child even an ounce of love. So that she knew how proud she made her mother.

Knowing her not so little girl surrounded herself with death and darkness, day in and day out, yet still managed to find a pocket of happiness to hold onto. Elizabeth was glad as cruel and evil a world Emily lived in, that she never let it harden her. That she never closed herself off to the possibilities and real connections she made of her own choice and merit.

Now all she was thinking was what right did she have to stake a claim in her daughter's happiness and life. Especially when she had been so absent and distant for the majority of the of thrty four years Emily had been alive.

#criminal minds #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #hotchniss #elizabeth prentiss #a mother's love #narcissistic mother #motherhood #parenting

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