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saltyowlet · 3 months

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BG3FicFeb Day 6

Lockpicking Lessons

Word Count: 947

No beta so mistakes will be made

Monks have high dexterity so might as well use it for unlawful things.

"If my memory serves me correctly, you were the one who asked me to teach you."

Olive groaned in frustration at the elf's belittling but kept her eyes focused on the locking mechanism. It had been a few days since she mustered up the courage, or rather, push down her pride to ask him about lockpicking. She always noticed how fast Astarion disarmed and broke into chests and wondered if she could do the same. Maybe she could put that skill on her belt. It at least be one of the few skills she would know where it came from, unlike the others from her foggy past.

What Olive didn't realize was how insanely bad Astarion was at teaching. With every turn of a knob, every stab with a pick, Astarion found something to scrutinize. He always had a condescending tone, no doubt that... but couldn't he at least tone it down??? Could he at least say "good job" for once? So far, she managed to pick at anything he threw at her, so why was he so damn demeaning. If it were for her pride and some sort of respect she had for Astarion, Olive would have quit by now. Hells, anyone would have.

"Counter-clock wise, my dear," Astarion muttered softly. Olive didn't dare turn around, just to see that look he would have when he was being a tad more of a prick.

"Oh, for the love of the hells, I KNOW!!!!" She heard a quiet chuckle. The sound itself was enough to make her cheek flush. From embarrassment or something else, she didn't want to think too deeply.

"Usually, people in my tent scream with me, not at me. So please keep in mind that others are around and we wouldn't want them to have a wrong impression of us, do we?" Astarion murmured. Olive didn't know whether to throw the tool kit at the still locked chest or at Astarion's face. Though if she had thrown it at him, then she would have seen a look of someone quite impressed of her efforts.

When the tiefling had asked him to teach her locking picking, Astarion outright laughed at her face. When he saw her nervous smile turn into an insulted frown, Astarion felt a tinge of regret at the pit of his stomach. To be honest, Astarion didn't even think about the fact that anyone would have noticed his lockpicking skills. One would assumed that lockpicking was a given for someone like Astarion. He wasn't exactly used to others coming to him to learn.

Well, learn about pleasure, undoubtedly. Learn about how to break into a locked door, usually told against it.

Even more surprising, it was Olive who was asking him. The monk wasn't 100% a driving force of light like Wyll, thank gods for that, but she wasn't about to maim some gnomes for gold either. She still had that righteous air about her that Astarion could not stand. So color him surprise at fact that Olive wanted to lockpick.

Color him even more surprised that Olive was a natural. Of course, nothing compared to his own flick of the wrist, but Olive managed to break through most of the locks he threw at her, and he only had been teaching for so little time. Astarion knew he wasn't made for teaching, so all of this choked up to be Olive's own skill. She didn't have the hands of someone who had done this before, Astarion could see that easily, but her hands moved like someone who worked with finessing. Due to her amnesiac conditions, it probably be a while until the reason manifested

"Almost there.....and-!" With a soft clunk, the chest flipped out revealing small trinkets and items that Astarion had collected over time. Olive jumped up from kneeling to turn to Astarion with a please grin. Astarion felt something in his heart but couldn't make out what it was or if he wanted to know what it was.

"Hah! Suck it, Astarion!" Astarion gave Olive his signature seductive look.

"Oh, I intend to, darling~" Olive rolled her eyes, but her smile still remained on her face. She put a hand on Astarion's arm, giving him a warm look.

"Thanks, Astarion, for teaching me. I know you are going out of your way to do this, so sorry if I get riled up easy."

And there it was, the one big reason Astarion was so willing to teach Olive. Despite their differences, and frankly, their antagonism towards each other, Olive never fell short in showing appreciation for Astarion each and every time he pushed her limits. No matter how critical Astarion was or how much Astarion expected from her, Olive took it all and still made sure to let him know how grateful she was. Her tenacity and drive to learn from him, despite her misgivings about him, it was enough for Astarion to give her a chance. And, even if he didn't want to admit it, it was nice for once to have someone in his tent without having to play up the flirtation. Doesn't mean he won't flirt time to time.

"If you wanted to rile me up, all you have to do is ask, darling," Astarion grinned. Olive sighed, exasperated, and gave him a playful punch.

"For once, could you give me a normal compliment?" Olive complained. Astarion gave her a knowing look. "If I were to compliment you, I rather it be with our bodies intertwine, clothes thrown on the floor."

Olive put her face in her hands and groaned irritably. The soft look and smile Astarion gave her went unnoticed by her and Astarion himself.

#BG3FicFeb #astarion x tav #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 dark urge #bg3 durge #bg3 astarion #bg3 tav #dont know how much or how long ill do this challenge but i like the prompts #def not going to have art as often #im so rusty at writing a fic its been years

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fleetsonourgecentral · 2 months

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A request: Ebony celebrates Fleetway Super birthday along with the freedom Fighthers celebrathing Sonic's birthday (so Super and Sonic share a birthday celebration :D) but Scourge IS jealous because he doesn't get any gifts

Adfjdasfjds Scourge being jealous for petty reasons my beloved

~~~

"This doesn't seem fair," Scourge grumbled, folding his arms and glaring at his surroundings like he could set the decorations alight with his eyes alone. Unfortunately, getting zapped by the Master Emerald didn't seem to grant him those powers, but hey, it was always worth double checking.

"Life isn't fair," Sonic said, smug smirk fully plastered on his face as he lounged on his throne for the day. The throne in question was nothing more than an old armchair fished out of the dump, and was covered in rips and clearly falling apart, but it was clean (thanks to Tekno's efforts) and it was the nicest chair the Freedom Fighters owned, so they made do.

Scourge was surprised they were putting in the effort at all. Sonic's ego was so big it was a wonder his head didn't swell and become too heavy for his body to carry; there was really no need to stroke his ego by giving him a throne.

For some reason, though, the Freedom Fighters, despite usually being extremely enthusiastic about keeping Sonic's ego in check, had decided today was an exception. It was his birthday, after all.

"How did you even get all this?" Scourge said. Thankfully, none of the cheesy "happy birthday" banners had been strung up on the wall - those were dumped on Ebony's doorstep - but in their place were custom-made banners proudly congratulating the Hero of Mobius on another year of victory over Robotnik. Over the top and unnecessary, considering the victory in question was mostly just his continued survival, and thus his continued ability to be a future pain in the ass.

Not that Robotnik didn't have it coming, but still.

"We made them!" Tails chirped from where he was stringing up another banner, this one declaring today as Sonic Day. "Tekno designed most of the banner so it would look cool enough that Sonic won't complain, and then Amy and I helped decide what they should say, and then we all painted them together!"

"And you didn't invite me?"

"We both know you would've told us all to fuck off if we asked you to help," Amy said, although the teasing smile on her face showed her comment was light-hearted instead of irritated. Gross.

"These aren't new, anyway," Tekno said. "We made these before you arrived, so you couldn't have helped. Unless you found a way to time travel. If you find an easy way to time travel, let me know?"

"Sure, whatever."

And now that Scourge was looking, the banners did seem a little worn. Small rips on the edges, colors dulled, the paper crinkled; obviously reused over the years. He nudged one of the banners crumpled on the floor with his foot, then picked it up to inspect it, holding it with his thumb and forefinger. Sonic's painted winking face greeted him, and Scourge sneered at it. On the back of the banner, he could see a cluster of signatures. Some he recognised - Tails and Amy - while some he'd never heard of - who in the world was Shortfuse? - and some... well, some were just initials, none of which he recognised. He certainly didn't remember any friends of Sonic's who went by J.L.

"Are you going to stand there, or are you going to help?" Amy said, lightly elbowing him as she passed, snatching the banner from his hands.

"What's it look like? I'm gonna stand here."

"No you're not. Help Tekno bring the gifts in."

"I'm not participating in this. You do shit like this then wonder why he's an arrogant dickhead."

"Is it arrogance if it's justified?" Sonic said.

"Justify my foot up your ass," Scourge said, just as Tekno dragged him away.

The pile of presents was bigger than it had any right to be. The Freedom Fighters didn't have much money - apparently fighting for the safety of the entire fucking planet doesn't pay well, or at all, which is bullshit and all the more reason for Scourge to find the whole thing stupid - so none of them could really afford to go all-out with the presents, but the bulk of the pile came from local civilians who had caught wind of the celebration and wanted to express their gratitude. Over the past week during their travels, civilians would stop them, shyly handing over presents and telling them they were for Sonic's birthday, a token of their appreciation for constantly saving their asses, because they couldn't be bothered to do it themselves.

No one said that last bit out loud, but Scourge always made sure to mentally add it.

Why they couldn't express their gratitude with some fucking cash, he did not know.

"Grab the presents by the table?" Tekno said, scooping presents into her arms. For what it was worth, although the pile was bigger than one would expect, at least most of the presents were small.

Groaning with all the contempt he could muster, Scourge shuffled over to the table and started tucking presents under his arms.

"Did you drop off everything at Ebony's?" Tekno said. Her voice was low, hidden by the rustle of the presents, only loud enough for Scourge to hear. Not that he thought Sonic could hear them when they were out here, but better safe than sorry.

"Whaddya take me for? Of course I did," Scourge said, voice equally low, although that was more for Tekno's peace of mind than his own. She'd shush him if she thought he was being too loud, but she was also really bad at shushing people quietly, and ended up attracting attention with her shushes more often than not. It was really counterproductive. Scourge didn't know why Sonic had let it slide for this long.

"Just making sure."

Scourge grunted, but he did give the rest of the presents an obligatory once-over, just to be sure there weren't any that shouldn't be there.

Super's birthday fell on the same day as Sonic's. It was why all the cheesy banners had been dumped on Ebony instead of in the trash where they belonged. The Freedom Fighters - okay, mostly Tekno - thought it was a good idea to send a few presents over from all of them, as a gesture of goodwill and minor bribery to please not turn evil and try to kill them all again. It was a plan Sonic had been conveniently left out of; even with their less strained relationship (although that really wasn't saying much) it was blatantly obvious he still wasn't fond of Super. He wouldn't stop them from giving him birthday presents, or wanting to wish him a happy birthday, but he would wrinkle his nose and mutter a comment under his breath, which was apparently a problem, although Scourge hadn't figured out why.

Ebony had asked if they wanted to stop by, even tentatively offered a joint birthday celebration if that would make things easier, but she was swiftly turned down. Presents were a safe bet, the Freedom Fighters had agreed, because they could be dropped off at any time, and Sonic would never have to know, and they could wish Super a happy birthday without ever leaving Sonic's side on the actual day. And they could send Scourge to be their little delivery boy so none of them would have to do it; despite the olive branch, Tails and Amy were still wary of Super. Apparently Scourge and (somehow) Tekno were the only ones who weren't little bitches about him.

Well, Sonic wasn't a little bitch exactly, but he wasn't as cool and casual about Super as he wanted to be. So he didn't count.

"I'm just saying," Scourge said, hefting as many presents into his arms as he could, "if you're going to make the decorations look like a 'congrats on kicking ass without dying' celebration, we should all be getting presents."

"It's not your birthday, though."

"I'm his boyfriend, though. Shouldn't I get, like, a solidarity present?"

"No, because it isn't your birthday."

Scourge bit back a comment about how if Super got to have a birthday just because he was another Sonic, then logically, so should he. Because, well, it wasn't his birthday, even though all the celebration really made it feel like it should be. He thought birthdays for Sonics were the same across all dimensions - he was pretty sure he shared a birthday with Prime, eugh - but apparently not.

With another exaggerated groan, he shuffled back into the living room with the presents towering high above him, because second trips were for chumps, and dumped them at Sonic's feet. His own gift wasn't in there, but only because he'd already given it to Sonic this morning. The moment he woke up, in fact. Scourge wasn't about to be beaten by anyone in anything, including being the first person to give Sonic a gift.

Not that it was anything special. Scourge wasn't exactly rolling in money either, and Sonic was a pain in the ass to shop for. Humiliation had nipped at his heels when he handed the gift over, ready to burn him, but Sonic seemed to really like it - underneath the obligatory layer of snark - so it was fine.

Probably.

He eyed the pile of presents again, and tried not to gnaw on his lip.

Some of the civilians who gave them presents looked... well, not well-off, but comfortable. Not rich, not even close to rich, but able to at least afford something nice for the Hero of Mobius. More than Scourge could afford.

More than any of the Freedom Fighters could afford, though, and Sonic didn't really give a shit about his fans outside of the inherent bragging rights that come with having fans in the first place. None of those civilians knew what Sonic liked. The Freedom Fighters did. Scourge did.

He doubted any civilian signatures were on the back of the banner he picked up.

A party thrown by civilians probably wouldn't look like this at all. That would be far more elaborate, with more people pitching in to help, even more vomit-worthy banners and decorations hung from every wall and banister, singing the praises of Sonic the Hedgehog. Over the top, and licking his ass, and making a huge deal out of him. Exactly the kind of celebration Sonic would like; he always loved it when people lavished him with praise for his efforts in saving the world, the arrogant bastard.

Sonic didn't have any of that, this year. Oh, sure, the party would stroke his ego, but it wasn't lavish. Compared to what he could have, it was almost humble.

But. He didn't look upset by it. Didn't even feign annoyance that it wasn't as big as it could be.

Scourge couldn't remember any of his own birthdays looking like this growing up. No friends surrounding him, bickering as they hung birthday banners or fetched presents or argued over the cake. No shitty birthday chair fished out of the dump. No lavish party to sing his praises. His birthdays weren't humble like this one, but they weren't extravagant, either.

They were... cold. Empty. There was no soul in the presents, no warmth in the candle of the cake. No signatures on the back of a hand-made birthday banner.

Scourge swallowed down the ugly feeling in his stomach.

Whatever. He didn't need any of that shit. He was Scourge the fucking Hedgehog, he knew exactly how great he was. Who needed a giant party? Not him. He wasn't that fragile.

"Scowl any harder and your face will get stuck."

Scourge flipped Sonic off without even looking. "Eat shit, birthday boy."

"Are you sulking because Pixel Brain jumped on you this morning when he came to wish me a happy birthday?"

"He crushed my fucking ribs," Scourge complained, glad for something to focus on. The interruption had been rude, and Tails was fortunate they were already awake; had he done that shit while Scourge was still asleep, he would've gotten an ass full of quills.

"Right. And you're definitely not sulking because you wanted to cuddle."

"I don't cuddle."

"Bullshit you don't."

"I don't. You have no proof."

"Then you're gonna start."

Before Scourge could say a word of protest, Sonic grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him onto his lap.

"Fuck off and let me go," Scourge snapped, shifting to get comfortable.

"It's my birthday," Sonic said, smirking his stupid, smug, victorious grin. "That means you have to do what I say."

"I'm not doing shit, you can't tell me what to do, birthday or not," Scourge said, leaning further into Sonic when he wrapped an arm around his waist to pull him closer.

"You'll get the chair when it's your birthday, if it's any consolation."

"Fuck the chair! What about my presents?"

"We'll see."

"Asshole," Scourge grumbled, biting Sonic lightly on the shoulder to emphasize his point, but he only got an amused chuckle in return.

"You're getting off when the cake gets here," Sonic said.

Huffing, Scourge snuggled further into Sonic. They'd see about that.

#sonic the hedgehog #scourge the hedgehog #fleetway sonic #stc sonic #fleet!sonourge #asks #fanfic #tekno the canary #HIIIIIIIIII I AM. SO FUCKING SORRY. I DID NOT MEAN FOR THIS TO TAKE THIS LONG #'i love writing' i say as i proceed to not write for months #chronically lazy..... but at least it isn't a 'well over a year' wait like some of my other fics.......#me: haha scourge being jealous for petty reasons!#scourge: thinks about how his birthdays have never had the love and care put into them as sonic's #me: oh for fucks sake #author write a fic that doesn't end up dabbling in the internal angst of these boys challenge: failed #i simply cannot control myself #sorry this didn't really have super and ebony in it #couldn't think of a way to include them that didn't involve a joint celebration/party. and i. can't imagine sonic would be happy about THAT #hope you enjoyed anyway!!!#and again i am soooooooo sorry this took so long

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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 2 months

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does anyone have any tips on how not to be a crippling perfectionist about your writing?? i have been staring at the same five paragraphs of the next chapter of four walls for a whole week and i've reached the point where i actually want to defenestrate my own laptop

#i've got the later parts of this chapter and a good chunk of the next one basically done #but this particular section is slowly driving me insane #UGH #why do i write characters with complex and conflicted emotions #it makes for a very complex and conflicted writing experience #(which i'm bitching about rn i know but i also wouldn't give it up for the world. it's just. a lot sometimes)#i end up second guessing myself constantly #also i haven't written anything this long for a good five years and i think the challenges of that #and the challenges of making a longer piece all tie together and work as one are really starting to set in #anyway sorry please feel free to ignore this mess of a post #i just needed to have a vent before returning to my keyboard and trying to make sense of alex's foolish little head #thanks to anyone who read their way though all this rambling 😅#writing stuff #lulu posts

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thirteenemeraldcats · 29 days

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I come bearing random fic asks! 1) tell us about your current wip(s)! 2) what's your writing process like? 3) I think you mentioned you have a background in psychology — how much does that influence your writing?

Hello my beautiful friend!!

Thank you so much for sending me these! I have been sitting on this for days because I wanted to banish 'thought that i was young' from my WIPs before answering lol

1.) Now that THAT'S published (and taken most of my WIP wordcount with it *sad violin noises*) there's 3 fics I'm actively poking at, the chunkiest is a Sam-and-Jamie-BFFS-agenda-6-conversations-they-might-have-had-and-one-they-definitely-didn't which I'm pretty sure I've posted a snip of SOMEWHERE before whoops. The working title was too long for me to cope with, to the extent that it managed to override my inability to make my mind up about anything, and is now called 'i said, maybe' - a line I've gleefully pinched from Wonderwall by Oasis! I like it for this fic because *gestures at working title* BUT ALSO Wonderwall is the song Sam sings at karaoke in 1x07 'Make Rebecca Great Again' and the Manchester connection tickles me greatly!

There's a non-angsty, short-ish (I'm honestly shocked) fic that fell out of my brain nearly fully formed a couple of weeks ago (because almost everyone I knew was either talking about or having birthdays) which ALSO has a title 'because he had no say in it (no say in it at all)', which is almost definitely going to be posted next (and hopefully a LOT sooner than the time-space between 'i learned to walk while he was away' and 'thought that i was young').

The only other thing I'm actively poking at right now is in the outline stage, it is also short-ish (please PLEASE stay that way) but is back to the angst-fest that is apparently all my brain wants to spit out. It's Jamie-centric. It involves a cat :)

2.) Honestly at this point my writing process is best described as:

(sound warning)

youtube

ANYWAY

(My actual answer about my writing process is that I love planning. Very much. Stretching the dough into spaghetti is where the problem lies 🫠)

3.) I do indeed have a background in Psychology! Like any undiagnosed-in-denial-17-year-old-DUMBASS, I studied Psych right out of high school due to a combined and truly harebrained motivation of 'what IS going on up there' and 'wow I love systematically studying, analysing and mimicking human behaviour [no underlying NOTHING going on up there no siree]' and wound up with a four year degree. NOW, my background is purely theoretical, I have never been registered as/worked as a Psychologist, so I'm not violating any ethical codes by using my knowledge for evil applying my Psych training to fictional stories/characters. Because the answer to 'how much does that influence your writing' is. SO MUCH. Not necessarily intentionally, there's only one fic in the extended-mountainous-WIP-pile that's explicit about Psych stuff (I'm giving Dani Seasonal Affective Disorder whoops), but psychology is one of those fields that once you're trained in it you can't really ever un-know it. Unfortunately for me, and everyone that I meet, there's forever a predisposing/precipitating/perpetuating/protective biopsychosocial model being drawn up in my head whenever someone exhibits any kind of behaviour my forebrain finds moderately interesting. (This doesn't happen with online friends DON'T WORRY [in truth it's only because I can't physically see you all- I AM SO SORRY- I am not in control of this]).

Honestly, I think a big part of it is just that my particular brand of pattern-recognition-AuDHD has been granted auto-inserted citations and gone mad with power.

Take Jamie, beloved stress ball that he is, he has so much psycho-analysis potential that I'm forever torn between wanting to write a dissertation on the various comorbidities that could be floating around in that guy's head, having a Watsonian v Doylist argument with myself about ~artistic intentions~, having to suspend disbelief for the sake of storytelling because I've been cursed with knowledge (gleefully and enthusiastically sought out and paid for knowledge) and just wanting to enjoy the story/character as they're presented/as I'm writing it.

Applying actual Psychology to fictional characters is like trying to tie a balloon to a moving rollercoaster, for the simple fact that they're not real; their actions and motivations and reactions are scripted and rehearsed and performed.

I'm doing it anyway :)

#I do think the nature of characters is fascinating #they're a culmination of several peoples' interpretations/representations of human behaviour #in a not dissimilar way that people are typically a reflection of the immediate people around them #characters are shaped by layers of humans reflecting on layers of human reflection #storytelling is cool #humans are cool (mostly)#homer's the odyssey is used by classicists to ascertain the established ideals of human behaviour from over 2000 years ago #I JUST THINK IT'S NEAT #you've unlocked a word ramble my dear friend i am SO SORRY #THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR SENDING ME THIS #(part of why i love teaching is having a room full of captives that have to listen to me)#(one of my kids last year accidentally unlocked a 20 minute long info dump about the challenger disaster)#(the class was on false memories so it was MOSTLY relevant)#writing tag #ask box is always open #the-sea-anemone #kvetchinglyneurotic

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cerealmonster15 · 5 months

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life is like a metronome sometimes I reread my fics and go “heehee silly fun times” and other times I can’t get past 3 sentences with out going “NO this is CRINGE and BAD everyone that has ever said something nice about my work is a LIAR and an ENABLER and just FEELS BAD FOR ME” actually that says less about life and More about My Issues I think 🤔

#go back to therapy challenge. maybe In the new year #no actual hostility towards anyone that is nice 2 me lol #I simply just feel Insecure 🧍 but that’s a ME PROBLEM!!!#I’m on my lunch break writing my Kalim fic (???) (Idk Hes Kinda the pov protag) in my phone #chapter 2….. lol I was outlining it the other day like general points I want it to have #and like I have a GENERAL idea of where I want it to go. kind of.#but I really am kinda going into this blind #it’s ok it’s not meant to be a long deep fic #just like idk maybe a handful of chapters #but like I said. I’m much more used to writing the jami/azu so that’s kinda been the driver of the story #so much that I keep forgetting the silver/kalim part lol OUGHHH #lads idk if I’m gonna be able to pull this off. but I must try 🫡#it’s ok if it’s bad I do not have to make a masterpiece but hhhhhh #I will be embarrased if I forget to include key points HAHA hdjfvjdjdjdjfjgj #knowing WHEN to introduce certain parts is the toughie #cuz there’s stuff I want to happen and things I want ppl to say but #lol organizing hard…. pacing hard…. we’ll see lads we’ll see #that’s why we r doing this… we r learning by doing lol 😭 DONT LOOK AT ME

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bookshelf-in-progress · 6 months

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First two years of Inklings Challenge: Spend most of the month trying to write a complicated epistolary fantasy, then in the last three days switch to a simpler idea.

This year's Inklings Challenge: Spend most of the month trying to write a simple idea, then in the last three days switch to writing a complicated epistolary fantasy.

#adventures in the inklings challenge #adventures in writing #this year did teach me why i write those stories in the last three days (because technically this year was like 3.5 days)#on days 1-3 i can sink into the story #but when i wake up in the morning on day 4 i'm convinced it's the dumbest idea i've ever had and i should be embarrassed to write it #but because of the deadline i have no other choice but to push forward #i'm still afraid that this story is an embarrassing piece of work #a self-indulgent piece building off of a two-year-long inside joke #in a format that's atrocious to read on tumblr #that gets so preachy that i deserve to be run out of town on a rail for crimes against christian art #but i never promised to give you good writing on this blog

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portokali · 1 year

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here's another tag game cause @pinknoisemp3 is a real one and tagged me to share 9 books i wanna read in 2023!! it's a game ive been tagged in before so pls don't take offense i never did it when you tagged me, i always meant to 🙏🙏

tagging some besties i talk abt books w but no pressure! @quillsand @soupbi @pherelpis @mousmoula @catboypranparakulisaro @darkside-cookies @byrons @teabox and anyone else who wants to!

#my first thot when i saw the arrangement of covets was aww i wish they looked prettier together :(( and then i had to stop myself like!!!#this isnt an aesthetic!!! anna you actually like reading remember???!?!???!!??!!#ok quick runthrough of the nominees: bloodchild - v v excited 2 read more butler whoo unsettling horror stories and the short story #collection tht features in this lineup!!#calling a wolf a wolf - every quote or individual poem ive read of kaveh akbar has been 🤯🤯🤯🫡🛐🛐 i definitely should read a full work!#beloved - SO excited to read another morrison LOVED jazz which i read this summer her writing is some of the best ive read!!!#the brothers karamazov - ill read this in greek definitely looks v challenging size wise but i rly wanna read it!!! has been so long since #i fully sank my teeth into a huge dostovyevsky novel n esp reading dos. in greek feels soo satisfying idk why..#i read crime n punishment in english n kt was NOT the same! wish i spoke russian 2 go str8 2 the orginal but alas #THE NAME OF THE ROSE this n the brothers are a case of my mutuals pick my tbr for sure!!! gi thats largely your doing tbh #her lover/i eromeni tis a greek lesbian classic thats also v hard 2 find in print form!!! hopefully i get it in my hands this year..#i ordered it on metabook so hopefully i havent just been scammed!!! lol #love in the time of cholera another classic I'll read in greek.. this and the monstrous regiment are alice recs ALICE I HOPE YOURE HAPPY #and arcadia by stoppard which is almost exclusively kaanu teabox propaganda!!! and as a play here to add to the mix yahoo!#tag game #2023

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cataclysmicamomile · 1 month

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I kinda wanna read Hu Xuan's works after this, particularly 因與聿案簿錄. I know absolutely nothing about it, except it's about two brothers solving supernatural cases. It's also very long. And has three seasons that are still updating

#hu xuan don't write long series challenge #also i bought the first volume of 异样动之刻 several years ago and didnt follow up

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whumpy-wyrms · 4 months

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ITS BEEN A MONTH SINCE TLLR CHAPTER 11????? WHAT

#wyrms says stuff #SORRY ITS TAKING FOREVER TO WRITE HOLY SHIT???#i thought it had been like 2 weeks or something #dude i’m actually sorry it’s taking so long to get chapters out #BUT like the next three chapters are all around 2/3 of the way done #i miss those phases where writing becomes sooooo so so easy for me and i write like 3k words a day #i’ve never been able to like stick with a writing schedule #my energy for writing comes and goes as it pleases and it’s been like that all my life. drawing comes naturally #it never bothered me before that i’d just not write for a few months at a time and then suddenly get motivation #to write a shit ton of stuff at once in rapid succession #and it sucks because forcing myself to sit down and write is hard it just doesn’t come super naturally like drawing does.#like forcing myself to draw can be a lot of fun and it’s easy. but honestly i don’t chose when my brain tells me it’s writing time #but that’s probably not a good thing huh #and also i’m like?? SUPER SUPER excited about some of the chapters coming up?? like chapter 14 is THE chapter i’ve been most excited about #since i started this series. AND ITS BASICALLY ALREADY WRITTEN TOO #the parts in between are hard to figure out i’ve realized #and also hard to give myself motivation to write them. im basically just annoyed that writing doesn’t come as naturally as art does for me #and that ever since i started actually writing about my own ocs like 6 years ago #i’ve only been able to write in short bursts of a few months at a time #it’s annoying but it’s a good challenge for me to overcome. i just have to sit down and write and then i’ll get that motivation back #the next chapter should be done very very soon!!!

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that-was-anticlimactic · 1 year

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universe of constant spinning, every end a new beginning

“So, do you have an umbrella? That was like, your thing, right? At Claw?”

Ah—not again! He can’t keep zoning out while talking to people—especially his boss.

But… why was Reigen still here? It was late and he always got to work early. It wasn’t his job to stay and coddle his employees. “I—uh—no,” he stuttered, fingers twisting anxiously. “Mine was, uh, "is” broken, sir.”

‘Broken’ was a mild way to put it. More like it got destroyed.

[or, reigen gives serizawa an umbrella]

☔️2,651 words | serirei☔️

#corey writes:)#HOLY TRASH #no guys last year i challenged myself to write and post one fic a month so that i made sure i was still taking time to do what i enjoy #and not lose myself to school work right? aND I DID IT!!! so i challenged myself AGAIN this year and none of the stuff i've been working on #is fully done and i had time so i started this last night and worked on this on my down time during student teaching and when i got home!#this prolly isn't Great but it's short and something i've been thinking about since the minute i finished s2 sooooooo #and the brainrot has been SO real and actually tbh i'm pretty surprised that the fic i wrote isn't r.itsu centric lol but this idea would #NOT leave my head and i knew it wouldn't get super long like all of my r.itsu and kiddo ideas ijuhbgfvbhyuio #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #serirei #serizawa katsuya #reigen arataka #mp100 fanfic #serirei fanfic #guys it's about the m.lb umbrella scene okay #idk maybe this has been done before but also i. do not care because Feelings and i diD IT even tho its at the last minute lol #oops i need to shower i'm teaching all day tomorrow and my supervisor is coming to observe me ahhhhh send good thoughts pls jiuhygtfghuijoiu #okayyyyy i'll stop now i ramble when i am sleepy or nervous and i am Both i just don't want this fic to be bad but ig i panic a bit before #posting any fic haha gonna go shower now MWAH love y'all <333

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dorkousloris · 2 months

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It was the year 2013 when a sixteen years old young person look at the potrait of their grandmother. Great-grans, but no matter what.

People say the way they act and talk was just very much like her. Minus the shy part, they thinks.

Lorissa Allard. A trainer turned baker who set up a bakery in Lumiose City back when the city was still new, which had been the family's business for only two generations. But now the great-grandchild had decide to leave the bakery to become a trainer- something they had always wanted. And like every child, Risa Darrell look determined and smiles. "Hope you don't mind I get to wear your scarf!"

#dorkous writings #dorkous arts #oc: risa darrell #oc: lorissa allard #heehoo.#fun fact: 2013 is the year i got PKMN X! so i thought its fitting to draw risa with that very getup from the game (more or less)#...its also the same year i got into a very cool roleplaying challenge so sdhgsjdhg UHH #to mutuals from 2013-2014s : hi sorry yes i just drew lorissa after so long SHDGJSHDGHJS #hearing that kalos legends would be like. past and present right????? so im like. kinda want to do this way-

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crehador · 9 months

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: ヒプノシスマイク | Hypnosis Mic (Albums) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aohitsugi Samatoki/Yamada Ichiro Characters: Aohitsugi Samatoki, Yamada Ichiro Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Idols, Established Relationship, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot Summary:

Blue.

Lipstick.

Blue lipstick.

Samatoki was wearing blue lipstick.

#crab writes #hypmic #ichisama #OK OK THE STREAK IS SAFE #i think i'm on 13 days now #last year went to 50 with my write + post something every day challenge #but that one wasn't icsm only #how long will this one go.........

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skhardwarevers1 · 4 months

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How well would your OC do in Exit 8. Put them in those strange hallways. how many times before they accept death via weird business twins.

#This is my new question of the day #Because like. It’s interesting to me.#The same hallway over and over again with slight differences that if you don’t notice you’ll be sent back to the beginning again.#How long do they just keep doing that for. Hours? Days? Minutes? Years?#It’s a mental challenge if anything #And god am I itching to write about it #S.K thinks

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possiblytracker · 1 year

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back to cycling through random underplayed games in my steam library to tide me over i GUESS

#i was doing this a little to procrastinate a few weeks ago. like to an almost dysfunctional degree.#like id (try to) write all day and get a little done and just be like 'fuck it time for a break' that was not actually a break id just stop #it was like full on videogame masochism type shit i would just throw myself at the most difficult frustrating challenges bc Anything #was better than writing and smth just made me really want to put Effort into smth stupid kdjJSDKJ #i was too scared to tell anyone i was really embarrassed dfjkSD;;#was a weird time but i broke out of it and wrote my diss and thats DONE so its FINE NOW #on that note i picked up don't starve recently after sitting unplayed in my library for over 2 years #and tbh i am Fascinated but im also so so so bad at it #which was good and fine when 'i need a Struggle or my brain will shrivel and combust' was the whole deal #but now im like. if i was Any less annoyingly stubborn abt videogames i mightve stopped already but we are still here #THEN AGAIN im trying to distract myself from totk just like i was previously distracting myself from work so #still pretty good conditions for metaphorically slamming up against a brick wall over and over kjgSDKJ #im in a weird headspace rn idk how i feel abt bursting back into conversation rn im so tired and headachey but somehow #wordvomiting into tumblr tags is still fine. sdkjhg #i didnt use tumblr for so long im just making up for it you all just have to deal with me for a bit

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green-fifteen · 1 year

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YOTP January: First Kiss, Fake Dating

Title: emotional rollercoaster (of love)

Fandom: Star Trek AOS

Pairing: Kirk/Spock

Word count: 3,761

Written for: @yearoftheotpevent

read on ao3

Jim woke up in a good mood. The stars outside his window were bright. His uniform fit him like a glove in all the right places. He was on the greatest ship in the 'Fleet and his crew were the best in their fields.

It was just that kind of day.

His mood didn't sour throughout the first part of his shift, even when they recieved an urgent communication from the local diplomats of Horace Twelve.

"We cannot beam aboard today," said the attache to the Chief Matriarch. "The Matriarch is not well. I'm afraid you will have to join us on the planet. We apologize for the inconvenience, Captain."

Jim didn't feel inconvenienced. He was looking forward to seeing the place.

He had Spock send him a data packet on surface conditions, then went to fetch his Starfleet-issue parka. He met the rest of the away team on the transporter pad. Uhura, Sulu, Kilroy, and Benison stood waiting for him. He laughed at their puffy coats and furry hoods, then they all beamed down together.

The team from Horace Twelve was supposed to come to the Enterprise to finish negotiations. This was the final day of talks surrounding their admission into the Federation. There was very little left to do and Admiral Komack had already given Jim leave to take any legal action required to come to an agreement. Jim had read the briefing they sent about this little world and thought Starfleet might actually overlook any action taken to secure that much raw dilithium, legal or otherwise. It felt good to have that kind of creative freedom.

They were led to a podium inside a building that reminded him of a breezy open-air temple. It was freezing and the humans (plus Kilroy, a Betazoid on his father's side) instictively huddled close like penguins. Strangely, no one emerged with any paperwork or a list of concerns, as Jim had been expecting. There were really only formalities left to cross off the list.

Instead, the Chief Matriarch herself appeared, towing a younger female Horatian behind her. She led her to stand in front of the podium and then took Jim's hand in her own.

"If you will come with me, Captain Kirk," she intoned gravely. Jim went where she led him, right next to the girl. He quirked an eyebrow at her, but she only cocked her head in a curious movement.

"Captain, the negotations have proceeded well. We are grateful for the work you have done to facilitate our entry into your Federation of Planets. Therefore, before we finish these negotiations, we have decided to give you a gift." Her attache took something from the Matriarch's hand and came toward Jim and the young girl.

Jim was beginning to get a strange feeling about this. He felt the same generosity of spirit and lightness he had upon waking, but now he thought he might need to call Spock.

The attache lifted Jim's hand to place it atop the girl's. Before he could manage, he heard Uhura's voice snap through the silent hall.

"Wait," she called, voice bright with authority. Jim looked at her, smiling a question. She looked back at him with a concerned expression.

"The Captain must consult with his command team before accepting your gift, although it is very generous," she said politely. Jim was tugged away from the podium and a few steps away. "Let us take some time to discuss it."

The Chief Matriarch looked upset. The girl at the podium simply smiled at Jim as he was manhandled away by a grimacing Uhura.

She waited until they were out of earshot to round on him.

"Respectfully, Captain, what do you think you are doing?"

Jim looked to Sulu, whose boggled expression plainly said, No, actually what the hell is wrong with you? Jim almost laughed at the way his eyebrows pinched in like that. Sulu had a very expressive face.

He said, "I was trying to finish up negotiations. So we can all go home." As he said it, it didn't feel quite true. After all, why should he be in a hurry to leave Horace Twelve? Horace Twelve was lovely.

Wind from the open stone doorway dragged his hood away from his face and he hissed at the biting cold.

Uhura wasn't finished. "They were marrying you. Captain. I'm sure you noticed."

Jim had not, in fact, noticed. He looked back at the podium and saw that the attache was holding a pale blue ribbon in one hand. He remembered seeing one just like it in the dossier on Horatian cultural norms and mores. It was protocol for each member of an away team to be familiar with basic things like 'how to avoid getting married by accident' before interacting with a new civilization. Jim laughed to himself about the near-miss. What would he have said to Spock if he'd let himself get hitched on a diplomatic mission? A distant part of his mind remarked that he probably wouldn't find it very funny.

He said, "I think we should call Commander Spock."

+++

The away team stayed on the planet and made reassuring remarks to the Horatians as Spock consulted the admirality on board the Enterprise. Approximately two Standard hours after he recieved Uhura's transmission, he appeared in the doorway to the temple.

He greeted the group with a nod, then said, "Captain."

"Commander," said Jim. He tried to push his pleasure at seeing him into his voice. "Report?"

Spock's eyebrow twitched. "Admiral Komack requests that we use any means necessary to conclude negotiations and secure access to this planet's mining operation. He is aware of the situation, as it stands."

Uhura made an outraged noise. "Is he saying the Captain should go through with this?"

"Perhaps it might be best to discuss the matter with the Horatian Matriarch before making decisions," he remarked, dry as ever.

Discussions did not go well.

They were led to a wide stone table in a different chamber within the temple, where the Enterprise team sat on one side and the Horatians sat on the other. Jim said things like "Terran customs dictate..." and "...happy to find a suitable alternative..." but each time the Matriarch replied with a rebuttal (I'm sure it's the only way. and You insult my fair daughter, Captain. and Shouldn't we unite our cultures for real intergration?) he found himself seriously considering her argument. If he weren't feeling so damn good, he was pretty sure he would be alarmed by that. It was too confusing. Why was he so disoriented?

Not even 10 minutes into talking, he wordlessly pleaded for Spock to take over. Spock caught his look and took control of the conversation. Gratefully, Jim tuned out the Matriarch to watch his First Officer command the attention of the room.

That old feeling bloomed in his chest. The one he'd been very good at ignoring. It was difficult to remember why he hadn't liked feeling it, as he looked at Spock now. Spock was cool, confident, in control. Having him around made Jim feel safe and supported. It didn't make sense to resist him.

Something must have shown on his face, because Kilroy was looking at him strangely. Actually, Kilroy was half Betazoid, right? Maybe he could sense his sudden outpouring of fondness for Spock.

Spock was trying to get his attention by tapping his foot under the table. Jim tapped back, delighted.

"On that point, you are misinformed," Spock said to the Matriarch's attache.

Every head turned to look at Spock, and then at Jim.

In a slow, deliberate movement, Spock lifted Jim's hand to his face and pressed his wrist just under the hinge of his jaw. The air exited Jim's lungs. The rest of the table seemed to be having a similar reaction as Spock placed his own wrist near Jim's left jaw.

He knew what this was, of course he did. Just as the away team knew how to avoid being married, they also knew how to avoid intimate and romantic gestures. This was to prevent anyone getting into the alien planet equivalent of a good old-fashioned bar fight over somebody else's girl. It was not so that first officers could perform them on their unsuspecting captains in the middle of negotiations.

Spock was definitely misusing the cultural dossier. Jim's heart beat much faster than normal.

The Matriarch went an interesting shade of violet.

"This was not disclosed to us in the personnel briefing."

Spock lowered their arms, but didn't let go of Jim's hand.

"Our relationship was deemed irrelevant. We acknowledge the oversight," he said, primly.

Uhura had a resigned expression on her face. Sulu was clearly trying not to laugh. Benison was stoically gazing at them and Kilroy's mouth was doing something strange.

The Matriarch looked stubborn, but her features softened minutely as Spock pulled two fingers across the palm of Jim's captured hand. Jim thought he might faint from bewildered happiness. There was somethng wrong with him. Then again, maybe there was something wrong with Spock. He'd just been Vulcan kissed.

The Horatian Matriarch relented easily after that, allowing them to close discussions the standard way, with signed agreements and such. Her face was back to its usual healthy crimson.

Jim knew that smiling like a love-struck idiot was inadvisable, so he attempted not to. It was very difficult. He could feel Lieutenant Kilroy's eyes on him.

Finally, after what left like an eternity sitting at Spock's side and holding his hand, it was over and they could beam back aboard the Enterprise.

When they reached the transporter room, he removed his parka and pulled his clothes away from his skin where'd he'd sweat into them. It was weirdly quiet when he finished and he looked around to see that no one had done the same. They all still wore their heavy coats and they were all staring at him.

"What?" he asked. He'd been having muzzy thoughts about taking a water shower in his quarters and then passing out, as his shift had ended more than an hour ago. He could see from their faces that he might have to reschedule.

"Spock to Medical," Spock said into his communicator. "Captain Kirk is showing signs of abnormal behavior. I am bringing him to Medbay. Spock out."

Jim blinked and he was being herded toward Medical by Spock.

Bones yelled when he saw him and he knew they were both asking him questions. The lights of Medbay seemed intolerably bright. He didn't remember them being that bright, before.

"Can you say that again?" he said, maybe slurring a little.

Bones scowled in that way of his. It meant I am concerned about you and it's your fault. Jim smiled to see it.

"How do you feel, Jim?" Bones asked. It sounded like it wasn't the first time he'd asked.

Jim thought about the question. How did he feel? Well, he was happy to be with Bones, his best friend. He was happy that Spock had come with him because he was always happy to be around Spock, even if they were just standing around in the Bridge on duty. Especially then. He loved to watch Spock work-- he was brilliant. And he liked it that Spock backed him up whenever he had to make Captain-y judgement calls.

"Great," he said truthfully. There had been some unpleasant business on Horace Twelve, he was pretty sure, but Spock had helped him to take care of it and now they were home on the Enterprise. His eyes were heavy, so he closed them.

He heard Bones and Spock discussing something, maybe asking more questions. He heard a different voice speak up from the door to Medbay.

"Commander Spock. Lieutenant-Commander McCoy," it said. It sounded like Lieutenant Kilroy.

Jim heard "strange reactions" and "projecting all over the place, I didn't mean to invade his privacy." He wanted to tell Kilroy he didn't do anything wrong. Probably. It was Jim who was wrong, right? Something was wrong. His hearing was going wobbly.

Unable to fight the sudden dizzy feeling in his head, he decided to just stop listening.

+++

Jim woke up in a terrible mood. He was in Medbay, which was already awful. On top of that, his head was pounding.

The machines picked up his brain activity and Bones was next to him immediately.

"Gur," Jim croaked. "What the hell happened?"

He checked a readout and shined a light into both of Jim's eyes before answering.

"You were drugged," Bones said tersely. "Flooded up to your eyeballs in happy, suggestible chemicals. I couldn't get you to stop smiling and then you almost cracked your fool head open on the floor in front of me. We're lucky Lieutenant Kilroy was able to tell me your symptoms."

Jim started to remember. They'd beamed down to the planet because the Matriarch said she wasn't well. They'd worn those ridiculous puffy coats. Jim had stood next to someone who he didn't recognize and almost held her hand. Was that a Horatian marriage ribbon? Oh no. The rest of the afternoon played behind his eyelids in perfect clarity. He covered his face.

"Please tell me I'm not actually married to anyone." He could hear how pathetic his voice sounded. He was too busy being embarassed to care.

Bones snorted in an unfriendly way. "Nope. Not married."

Jim dropped his hands from his face to look at him, relieved. Bones only smirked and jabbed something in his neck.

"Your boyfriend is waiting outside to talk to you, however."

Jim hissed and jerked away from him. "Damn it, Bones! Wait, who... Spock?"

The doors opened to admit his first officer, who strode to stand next to the biobed.

"Captain," he said. "Are you well?"

He thought about it for a moment. "I feel like hell."

Spock gave a quick nod. "I am gratified to hear that."

Bones laughed, because he was an asshole.

+++

Obviously, they had to launch an investigation and renegotiate the terms of Horace Twelve's admission into the Federation. Jim was pissed off and already tired.

He let Security deal with the first task and stared gathering crew members to help him with the second. When the Horatians beamed aboard, they were greeted by Jim, Spock, Uhura, Sulu, Kilroy, and Jana, a science officer from Betazed. Spock had instructed Jana to notify Doctor McCoy immediately if she noticed any abnormal changes in mood among the Enterprise group. Kilroy was told to monitor Captain Kirk, specifically. Jim rankled and ordered him to also include Spock in his observations.

They'd had a moment of eye contact after that, Jim thinking I'm right at him and Spock giving nothing away, as usual. Jim had looked away first, unable to stop remembering the feeling of his fingers on his palm whenever he saw him. If he wasn't careful, he knew it would distract him all day, and they needed to be alert. He resolved to keep a careful distance and to minimize eye contact with Spock. For his own sanity.

His plan was promptly ruined when the Matriarch took one look at them, standing stiffly next to the transporter pad and said, "Ah, the lovers." She sounded sardonic. Jim could hear Komack's voice in his head saying "The dilithium, Kirk. I want you to woo that planet." Resigned, he smiled at her and moved closer to his First Officer.

Jim's mood only got worse as discussions progressed. There wasn't much to be learned from them that Security hadn't already gleaned in their initial interviews. Apparently, the drug they'd given Jim was always given to a bride or groom the night before a wedding to ease their nerves. According to the Matriarch, wedding celebrations on Horace Twelve could last anywhere from 3 weeks to 2 Standard months. The dose they'd given him would have lasted a Horatian an entire week and would not have affected them so intensely, but they hadn't accounted for Jim's human metabolism. It was that kind of carelessness that earned planets fourteen extra contract clauses.

Spock was keeping up their romantic charade admirably, but Jim knew he was making it difficult. Spock stayed by his side at the table during each session of talks. He touched his wrist when he referred to him. As they filed out of the room during breaks, Spock ostentatiously lifted his hand for Jim to rest two fingers there. If it weren't so painful, it would be sickening.

There was a weird tightness in his chest as he thought about Kilroy sitting on his other side, listening in on his emotions. Could he sense the way Jim's heart kicked up when Spock looked at him? Did he know that Jim's skin felt electrified just before Spock put his fingers on him? That feeling he had been unable to supress on the planet-- it was back. It was like letting it loose had only made it stronger. Like letting himself feel it only made it more difficult to stop. He did his best to push it away and out of reach of empaths and touch telepaths. Oh God, could Spock feel it? Jim was sure he wouldn't violate his privacy on purpose, but that wasn't as reassuring as it should have been. What had Kilroy said the day before? He'd been 'projecting all over the place.' Was that just because of the drug? Was he still projecting now?

When they resumed the discussion after the midday break, Jim couldn't stop himself from flinching away every time Spock reached to touch him. He didn't meet his eyes. Spock must have noticed, because he stopped finding Jim's wrist on the table top. When the final session ended and the Horatians had beamed back down to the planet, he only put a hand briefly on Jim's shoulder before he strode away.

Jim clenched his eyes shut and told Uhura he had a headache. Kilroy said nothing.

In the evening, after his shift, Jim decided to work through his goddamn emotions. He considered taking a page out of Spock's book and meditating in his quarters, but he was a restless kind of upset. He didn't think he would even be able to start the breathing exercises before he was up again, pacing. Instead, he walked to the observation deck.

+++

Seeing the stars like this always made him feel weirdly at home. It hadn't made sense to Bones when he mentioned it to him. He'd just named ten different kinds of viral infection he could catch in space and called him an idiot.

But maybe being born in space meant he belonged there. Then again, maybe he just inherited it from his mother.

He wasn't alone for long before he heard someone sidle up to him. A quick glance showed him Spock, buttoned up and straight-backed. He was looking out the window.

"I apologize," he said. Jim's whole body twitched and he started to protest.

"I apologize," Spock said, holding up a hand to quiet him. "For my actions on the planet."

Jim stopped, confused. His actions on the planet?

"I wish to be honest with you, Captain." He knew Spock well enough to see the tension in his muscles. "There was a 73.7 per cent probability that the situation involving the Matriarch's daughter could have been resolved satisfactorily in another way. However, I chose the most efficient option, not anticipating that it would cause you discomfort. For that, I apologize."

Jim's eyebrows bunched together. "What's done is done, Spock," he told him. "It's probably for the best that you lied to them. I was just a few minutes away from having my fainting spell."

"Twenty-one point two one minutes," Spock corrected.

"Exactly. Any longer at that table, I might not have been able to make it back to the Enteprrise by myself."

"I would have carried you back."

Jim blinked. "But I'm glad you didn't. That would be too embarassing, especially on a diplomatic mission like this."

Spock looked even more rigid. "Indeed."

They stood together and watched the darkness outside the hull. Jim could feel the balloon of emotions rising to the surface and held it down desperately.

"I know it probably made you uncomfortable today, having to touch me so much. Vulcans aren't big on PDA, right?"

Jim saw Spock incline his head out of the corner of his eye. "In general, no, Vulcans do not engage in affectionate displays."

There was a moment of silence.

"I was not, however, uncomfortable."

Jim looked at Spock and Spock turned toward him. "I'm--" Jim started.

Spock interrupted him. "I had no indication that you would lose consciousness on Horace Twelve and thus there was little need for haste, when I made the decision to decieve the Chief Matriarch."

He looked down. Jim stared at the top of his First Officer's head.

"I am a touch telepath. According to every precept of logic, I should not have chosen to touch your hands or kiss you in the Vulcan manner. Nevertheless, I did." He gazed at the observation window again.

"It did not displease me to touch you, Captain."

Jim couldn't say anything. He didn't want to leave Spock hanging after what was clearly an emotional confession, but he was having an internal crisis. The balloon was rising faster than he could stop it and he held onto it for dear life, trying not to blurt something stupid before he fully understood what was happening.

"Do you--" he cleared his throat. "What do you mean, exactly?"

He hoped he knew. He didn't think he could hold on very much longer.

"When you fell to the ground in Medbay, before Lieutenant Kilroy informed us of the situation, I was... emotional. I was reminded of your most recent loss of consciousness."

The last time he'd, what? Passed out? That must have been after... oh. Had it really only been a year since Khan? Jim remembered the feeling the cold glass warming under his and Spock's hands. He remembered Spock had called him his friend. His friend.

"Although it was illogical, I felt regret, that I had not told you of my regard before I kissed you on the planet. I was determined to rectify the situation when you woke."

Jim was losing his grip. "Regard, Spock?" he asked, softly. "What are you telling me?"

His eyes lifted to find Jim's. "I am in love with you."

Jim's smile felt like instinct. He moved closer to Spock and took his hand. The feeling in his chest started to leak out and he didn't stop it. He kissed him instead.

+++

The next morning, during the first break in meetings, Kilroy submitted a warning to Doctor McCoy.

It read:

Notice-- CPT Kirk and CDR Spock way too happy. Please advise.

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