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#YAYYYY EVERYONE SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY
hitsuyou-fukaketsu · 2 months
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PRESENT FOR MY DEAR FRIEND @subakogas
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
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abybweisse · 2 years
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Scenario where all the phantomhives are alive and crazy family shenanigans. I totally see undertaker as crazy grandpa.
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🎉 Scenario request: the Phantomhives live
How about what the twins' tenth birthday party might have been like, if the attack had never gone through as planned?
Twins: *looking at the clock, as it strikes 6pm*
Tanaka: *knocks on the door and gently opens it* Young masters, it's time for your party to start.
Twins: Yay!
Ciel: Presents!
Our Earl: Cake!
Tanaka: Ho, ho! Soon enough.
They make their way downstairs to the great hall of Phantomhive Manor, where party games have been set up. Their parents, many of the servants, and several guests are standing around.
Twins: Games?! *running from booth to booth to see what's there*
Rachel: Boys, boys! Over here.
Everyone to the twins: Happy Birthday!!!
Rachel: Happy birthday, my dear sweet angels!
Vincent: Happy birthday, boys!
Diedrich: *deadpan* Yes. Happy birthday. *whispers to Vincent* When do we get to the food?
Vincent: *chuckles and waves it away, not whispering* Undertaker's concerned if there will be enough wood to build your coffin someday.
Undertaker: *chuckles and winks at Vincent and Diedrich then tips his hat to the twins* Happy birthday, young Phantomhives. I hope you enjoy this day to its fullest. Someday, the birthdays will end and--
Vincent: *stepping in front of Undertaker to cut him off* Enough of that for now -- *nervously* haha -- this is a day of fun.
Diedrich: *mumbles* Seriously. And people think I'm the death of the party?
Rachel: *directing the twins away from all that* Come say hello to the other guests. Helloooo, An! Hellooo, Midfords!
Madam Red: Hello, sister! Hello, my lovely nephews! I have a huuuge gift for each of you in the pile.
Twins: Yayyyy!
Francis: Happy birthday, Ciel and E--
Lizzie: Happy birthdaaaayyy! Cieelll! I have something extra special for youu~~<3!
Francis: Elizabeth, calm down. That's not very lady-like behavior.
Lizzie: *puts a hand to her open mouth* Sorry, mother.
Alexis: *very serious™️* Happy birthday, boys. Ten years already. *puts out a hand to shake hands, but when Ciel puts his hand forward, Alexis grabs him by the hand and pulls him into a bear hug. Pulls our earl in for a group hug* *gushing with love and joy* Ooooh~~<3! *calling to Vincent* They are growing up so fast! Cherish these precious moments! *finally lets the boys go, and they catch their breaths again*
In turn, other guests wish the boys a happy birthday, and they play games until it's time for the feast, consisting of all the boys' favorite dishes. Then cake. And then presents... while Diedrich sits next to the platters of sandwiches and keeps nonchalantly selecting them. Vincent nudges Undertaker and tilts his head at Diedrich, and in response Undertaker tsks and pulls a tape measure from who-knows-where. Perhaps it was actually up his sleeve? 🤷🏻‍♀️
The boys received a veritable mountain of gifts, ranging from the practical (like hand-knitted socks from a maid and finely made socks and shoes purchased by Francis) to the fabulous (like Madam Red's: she nearly bought out the entire boy's section of Hamleys. When the boys got to Elizabeth's gifts, she became very excited. She gave Ciel a handkerchief she had painstakingly embroidered with his initials.
Ciel: It's lovely. I can tell your embroidery work has improved.
Lizzie: It has! It has! And.... I'll embroider more items for you, Ciel!
Our earl tried to be enthusiastic about the gift he received from her: replacements for some Noah's Ark animals he had misplaced. But then he saw that two were a mated pair he didn't previously have, and that made him happier.
Our earl: *genuinely thankful* Elizabeth, thank you for the carved animals. I don't think I had this pair. *holds up a set of leopards* By the way, have you ever noticed the pair of lions on those sets always both have a mane?
Lizzie: *finger to her lips, confused expression* Oh? No, I'd never noticed. Isn't that the way they should be?
Tanaka: *overhearing* Hoh, hoh, hoh....
Our earl: I don't think so. Only the male has a mane. Where are all the lionesses?
Lizzie: *still a bit confused* I have no idea. Oh! So, what are you going to open next?!
Later. Around 10pm, way past the boys' usual bedtime, the twins are still full, done with opening gifts and playing... and exhausted. Diedrich has run out of sandwiches, and most of the guests have said their farewells....
Twins: *yawning*
Rachel: *seeing them and stifling a yawn of her own* Alright, angels, it's off to bed for you two. Tanaka, please see to them.
Tanaka: Yes, my Lady. *turning to the boys* Come along, young masters.
The boys grumble, as young children often do when they are tired but don't wish to admit it. But they go with him, giving in to the call of sleep and pleasant dreams.
They head upstairs. Then, as they head down a hallway, the boys see their father, Diedrich, and Undertaker heading down the same hallway but in the opposite direction, towards Vincent's private study.
The twins can make out some of their conversation:
Vincent: Come along, Diedrich. We have things to discuss.
Diedrich: *mildly protesting in hushed tones*
Vincent: Good grief. Must I have a butler provide another platter? Yes, ok.
Undertaker: *snickers at Diedrich and tilts his head* Perchance I might finally get to have one?
Diedrich: Undertaker, you ate half of a cake, and it wasn't even a sma--
Undertaker: *turning to Vincent and cutting Diedrich off* What have I been saying? Something had been brewing for months now.
Vincent: Yes, yes. That incident earlier today was a close one.
Diedrich: *starting to fade out* Good thing we thwarted it just in time. Otherwise, the entire party could have been ruined.
Vincent: *barely audible now* My boys would have been devastated.... *fading out completely at the end*
The twins were too far away to hear anything more of their conversation, but they exchanged glances, just briefly. What was that all about?
Well, that ended up being longer than I had originally intended, but I kept thinking of things to add! I hope you enjoy it. 😊
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gnfkitten · 1 year
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ALSO EVERYONE SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. I AM 18. YAYY YAYYYY YAYYYY
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Ahhhhhhhh Nemo Nemo Nemo Nemo!! Happy birthday to you!! So happy that you created an oasis for urself at Tumblr, and bless us with your writings! I love love love your way with words. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
And YAYYYY for saying I need to take care myself first. 🥰🥰
Erm in terms of live reading....since this is ur bday, I’d love to know more about you through your work. Say pick your favorite chapter from the Kyubei route? And tell us a bit about why and how u wrote it?
Just some ideas but again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
Oh and did I tell u that I love ur writing?
Lololol hi Anon! It isn't my birthday, I would be a very scary two-years old if it was! 😂😂😂 But thank you all the same! This blog has helped in some really strange ways and I'm happy to be here sharing fanfiction with everyone! (*˘︶˘*).。*♡
Are you taking care of yourself, Anon? Are you? Because I realise there is a scary amount of people in my life who I tell this to. (´⊙ω⊙`)!
Since the live readings will happen over Discord I have opened the server and posted the suggestion guidelines there, DM me if you want to join! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*.✧ Since you said Kyubei I will just pick Kyubei's bday story, because that would make the most sense? idk (◍•ᴗ•◍)
(EDIT: I will talk a little more about the way I went about Kyubei's route when I finish it! Promise!)
Thank you Anon! For the words and the congratulations! That you may stick around for another year (and join the Discord server if you're comfortable revealing yourself to me)! (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。
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taejeonie · 4 years
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taehyuck moments that make me feel lonely
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every time hyuck would call taehee and how she would respond
“noOOoOoNAaAaAA~”
“hAeChaAnIE~”
taehee had a like,,love-hate relationship with hyuck back then
“noona, i don’t like your hair”
“i don’t like your face, donghyuck”
lol but that was before
present time!!!!
everytime hyuck would look at taehee he looks so
smitten
it’s cute
during yaja time,,,hyuck would always make sure that taehee calls him ‘oppa’ just to tease her
when they both won in rpd in their weekly idol guesting,,,hyuck gave his point to 127 while taehee gave hers to dream
mark mentioning taehee and hyuck used to fight a lot predebut but now they’re super close!!!
taehee being tsundere with hyuck
“noona, i love youuuu |( ^ 3 ^)|”
*shoves hyuck away aggressively*
but then later on she’s like
“haechanie, do you want to play games?”
“i knew you loved me (^_^)”
being good at games
they gave tips to dream on that one weekly idol episode
speaking of weekly idol episode
taehyuck stans got so much content when they guested there during superhuman era
taehee had to ‘appeal’ to them before picking a partner
“should i dance?”
“AEGYO”
“haechan-ssi said aegyo!!! wahh,,it looks like taehee-ssi is a bit reluctant”
taehee: jdkskdkfksk
“i....i’m not acting pretty-“
“AHH CUTEEE”
“i was born pretty”
“PASS!,” hyuck shouted
so the hosts continued to interview her while hyuck and doyoung were waiting behind her
“taehee-ssi, who do you want in mind?”
“haechanie?”
doyoung: <//3
“why haechan?”
“bc he’s good at playing games”
“ahh!! so you’re only using him?”
“yes hehe”
so when taehee turns around she’s like \(//∇//)\ bc hyuck’s there
but then she sees doyoung and she goes ( O . O)
“HER REACTION- HAHAHAHAH”
“okay. appeal to me”
hyuck stands up and proceeds to wink at her and bite his lip
hyuckie sweetie don’t be so provocative or else sunflowers will d word
“ah you’re a bit bold, aren’t you?,” taehee taunts him
“even if you’re just planning to use me, you’ll fall in love with me in the end and i will cherish you forever”
taehee.exe has stopped working part 3948289492
“OH HE OFFERED HIS LOVE”
“i have money-“
lol taehyuck wins in the end
taehee felt hyuck’s lips when they were guessing a ball of yarn was in between them so she got so scared
“WHAT WAS THAT”
they’re so cute during fansigns also
the cutest was one they were sending each other hearts while they were on both ends of the table
taehee can’t resist running her hands through hyuck’s hair
even if the managers tell her not to
like you’d see her stare at hyuck for a moment before patting his head and keeping her hand there
or pushing it back from the front
cheek kisses.
“noona, what are you planning to do after practice?”
“i’m planning to sleep-“
“MWAH”
“LEE HAECHAN!”
“and that was haechan’s kiss cam- OW”
host: “haechan, your birthday is coming up. what do you wish for?”
*glances at taehee sneakily*
“i want a kiss from noona”
then you can hear jisung, chenle, and renjun gag
while mark laughs nervously leader tingz
lowkey the host pestered her to do it so taehee kissed hyuck on the cheek anyways
being each other’s seratonin boosts during performances
like they would pass by each other and next thing you know,,they won’t stop smiling
in america hyuck kept clinging onto taehee
they also kept going on about taeil’s butterfly
when taehee mc’d for isac she was cheering for hyuck
“AH!! THAT’S OUR ACE!!”
and vice versa
when they were planning the 24-hour relay, taehee said she wanted to do frisbee and walk her dog but she wants a member to go with her
“i’ll go with you,” hyuck told her
“really?”
and you can see taehee’s eyes light up bc awowowow she’s so cute
so when they were doing the relay live already
the both of them went out to a park
“you’re in a lot of videos today”
“yes, but i enjoyed this the most since i get to spend it with youuuuu”
“you’re following in my footsteps, aren’t you”
hihi
so taehee taught him like the different throws of frisbee
hyuck threw the disc really hard and it landed far away so taehee had to get it
hyuck went near the camera and pointed it at her
“look at my noonaaaa”
“she’s so cute, isn’t she”
and then later on they walked taehee’s dog named ‘통이’
he’s a brown shitzu puppy that hyuck gave her for her bday
most of taehee’s relay vid was just her and hyuck playing with 통이
“so how’s our child doing in school?”
“OUR CHILD???”
“통이!! 통이’s our child!!”
“since when???”
“i gave him to you!! he’s our child now”
“you’re weird”
then later in hyuck’s relay,,he was about to play games
but he called taehee first
“baby? what are you doing?”
damn hyuck you call jaehyun baby,,,now taehee?? donghyuck bad boy.
“why the sudden english?”
(in korean) “just answer!!”
“umm i’m about to sleep. why?”
“okay..let’s just play games when you wake up!”
“you’re still playing games when i wake up? HAHA”
hyuck laughs with her, “yeaaaa”
“okay, goodnight baby!”
“goodnight, baby!”
c o n t e n t
them dancing all the parts in kick it during their weekly idol guesting
we stan
hyuck couldn’t look away from taehee when she was doing her facial window
“CUTE!!”
“AHH NOONA I WANT TO HUG YOU”
but the he suddenly goes silent when she does the cold ver.
flustered tm
but then goes back to finding her cute when she whined to jungwoo right after
in the latest nct life, they would sit beside each other all the time
vvvv competitive when they were doing the luge race
when they would sleep during car rides their heads are on top of each other <3
everytime taehee would laugh, the fans would notice how hyuck looked at her
like there’s literally heart eyes for her
and they were roommates
like her, hyuck, and yuta
since there were only two beds, yuta offered to sleep on the floor
“i’ll just sleep beside hyuck. you can take the bed”
later on...
“what are you doing?”
“i can’t help it...i like you too much”
“i can’t move”
“if we stay like this, we won’t need blankets anymore, noonaaa”
“turn the other way”
hyuck complied but made taehee wrap her arms around him
hyuck small spoon uwuuwuwuwu
both of them being good at the shooting game haha
#gamertingz
instead of worrying over hyuck when he almost fell off the 9m thingy
she laughed at him and called him slow
“HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA”
“HEY HAECHAN YOU’RE TOO SLOW WE’RE LOSING”
but then they gang up on the opposing team bc they’re salty they lost
stealing clothes is taehee’s thing
well,,just hyuck’s clothes
like you’d see her wear hyuck’s ‘sinners’ hoodie from time to time
and his green one during the 00’ line vlive
i think she’s worn it a lot more than hyuck does
“you’re wearing my clothes again, why won’t you just buy your own?”
“save money!!!”
the way they hold hands is cute too
like during award shows, their pinkies are linked together akmakskakdl
and they’re always together in the airport
they were doing a punishment bc they lost in a game
and it was a peppero game
*cue mark sweating nervously bc the dreamies are scary and taehee is a rebellious so he doesn’t know what would happen*
anyw they got the peppero stick to go like really really short
like a little bit more and they would get in trouble
and then BOOM
renjun pushes taehee’s head forward, making her and hyuck almost kiss
but they pulled away so quickly
“you dangerous thing :000 we almost kissed”
and when mark thought it couldn’t get any worse
“it wouldn’t be the first time” - jeon taehee, 20
“oKAY CUT”
their iconic vlive moments
aka where hyuck professes his love to taehee it sounds so sincere that it makes her genuinely flustered
“one day, i’m gonna marry taehee noona-“
taehee hits him lightly in surprise before saying, “don’t stay stuff like that hahaha”
“it’s true!! i have my future planned out already”
“you’re so weird”
“it’s okay. as long as you love me”
hyuck moves his face closer to taehee, causing her to look away and gag
“DOYOUNG OPPA HE’S BEING WEIRD AGAIN!!!”
the other one was when taehee was reading comments
“lee donghyuck, do you love me?”
“jeon taehee, i really,,really,,really love you”
“.....i was reading a comment”
dw hyuck gave the fan a heart in slight embarrassment
and then the next one was during taehee’s birthday
she held a solo live yAYYYY
but then the comments were asking about hyuck so she let them know that he’s recovering well and he’ll be back soon before you know it!!
“haechanie? haechanie’s doing fine everyone!! he’s recovering at home and he’ll be back before you know it ∩^ω^∩”
“i think he’s watching this live- hey, haechan! you take care of yourself, okay? and don’t be too stubborn next time....”
“i got a little worried,” she mumbled softly
“just get better quickly, okay? i’ll treat you to beef and we can go watch movies as soon as your better”
she gives a smile before going back to reading the comments
her phones suddenly rings, “oh? it’s haechanie”
she puts it on speaker and says hello cutely
and the first thing hyuck says is
“i love you”
ABD THEN TAEHEE SMILES JUST REALLY WIDE AND HER DIMPLES ARE SHOWING AND HER EYE SMILE
DEFINITELY ARE SOULMATES
“i miss youu”
“i miss you tooo. what are you doing?”
“watching your live of course!! happy birthday”
“hihi thank you”
and then when hyuck got better they had another vlive again with 127 and dream
like the new year one
anyways
it got quiet for a bit after haechan said his like ‘i’m better now’ speech
and then when he finishes taehee calls his attention
and she’s like serious BC SHE WAS WORRIED OKAY
HYUCK’S LIKE HER BABY STFU
“be careful next time. don’t get sick again”
it sounded so sincere hyuck felt his heart melt.
cute
DREAM GRADUATION
ugh such an emotional day
hyuck was tearing up when watching their vcr
then he couldn’t hold back his tears anymore when they were doing their ending ment :(((
i mean he’s still with them in 127 but it feels different :((
when they were about to do a group hug, taehee pulled away from mark and ran into hyuck when he opened his arms out for her
it was a short hug but still
:(((
bUT!!!
they continue to support each other even if they’re in different sub-units at times
taehee kept saying hyuck looked more handsome ever since boom cb
then even MORE handsome in reload
“i know (⌒-⌒; )”
fans noticed how taehee turned more affectionate with hyuck during this era
OGNDNKDKDKS
“most importantly, i miss mark hyung and taehee noona today”
(´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)
OKAY BACK TO LESS ANGSTY MOMENTS
now taehee is more clingy with hyuck these days
it’s either they’re beside each other and one of them is leaning on the other
or they sit on each other’s laps
they also go out and eat often yieeee
“is it good?”
“mhmm!!”
that’s all thank u for tuning in !!!
although, she doesn’t show it that much at first, taehee loves hyuck very much !!!
so does hyuck
i feel like they’re really gonna have a very strong relationship til the end of time
yes they’ll grow old together <33
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Yo kids don’t send nudes if y’all are under 18 because it’ll fuck your life up. Trust me and I’ll tell you a story.
I’m 14 and I have a girlfriend the same age. We are in year 9 in Australia, going to a regular shit public high school. We’ve been together for a few months and we get frisky one night on Facebook. We share nudes and some videos, typical couple shit. No big deal, so we thought. 15th birthday a month later, parents made me go to school. At school in math class and office runner knocks on the door and says my name. I’m asked to go see the principal. I think to myself it’s probably because I’ve been skipping so many days because I hated school.
I get down to the principal and the cop that’s been doing talks all week is there as well. I’m nervous but still think it’s no big deal. Then my girlfriend walks in and I think ‘hold up, why is she here she doesn’t skip school’ when she sits down they get straight to the point and ask us about our nudes. We both freak out and tell them we won’t do it again bla bla bla. They make us delete our facebooks because the cop said even if you delete it someone could get it back If they hacked us.
The principal found out because my girlfriend used her school email for Facebook. Big dummy. We got suspended for a month as well so that was fun. My parents weren’t happy but they weren’t angry. Her parents weren’t happy with me because their darling daughter could do no wrong. We were the big scandal of the school for 2 days before 7th grader had sex for a cheese burger. Lol should’ve gone for a dinner box
2 months later I get a knock on the door from the cops. I’m being arrested and I get charged with possession of mine and her nudes. Distribution of my nudes. Using a carriage service (Facebook) and others. The legal term is child abuse material. That covers everything from what we did all the way to actual child abuse.
They let me out on bail that day and I have to go to court. Parents are not happy about me going to court at all. So they take away all electronics. Except an old shit Nokia phone. I’m living with dad and my younger, severely autistic brother. Because of mum being an addict when I was younger but now mum is clean. Yayyyy. From the age of 15 till the day I turn 18 I go to court to await my actual punishment. Every 2 weeks on a tuesday I go to children’s court. Since I live in a shit area I expect to see people I know from school at court but surprisingly none. Every court date I am riddled with anxiety even when I know it’ll just get adjourned for a later date. I drop out of school in year 11 because of the stress of court mixed with senior year assignments and projects, not a good mix. I break up with my girlfriend because depression and the fact that I blamed her and she blamed me and a huge fight ensured and her dad got a new job on the other side of the country so they packed up and moved.
My brother starts to get violent as well for some reason. Leaving scars in both mine and dads arms from when he scratched us. We get him on medication which helps at least.
Final day of court. I’m 18, it’s my birthday today, the judge is the same one I’ve had the entire time. She’s sick of the prosecution ajourning it and told them if they did it one more time she would throw the case out. Some Legal talk, I’m found guilty. My punishment, I’m put on the child protection register, basically making me a sex offender, I’ve gotta go to counselling and see juvenile justice. Turns out they’ll see me till I’m 21. They’re cool. I only have to see them for a year. Easy enough. Counselling, year and a half, easy. The register, 7 years. Difficult but I can manage. Gotta report all social media, trips out of state, devices that can have social media, shit like that to cops within 2 weeks. Whatever.
It’s all going great. Until I’m 20. I have to report once a year. In June. In September when I’m still 18 dad gets diagnosed with dementia. He’s 61. Mum moves back in to help when it gets too rough and he gets moved into a nursing home 6 months later because we can’t continue this. Fast forward to 20 years old in June. Dads health is on a rollacoaster. One day he’s okay the next he’s on deaths door. This goes on for months. This stressed mum out big time and made her upset. In turn making me upset. And making me forget about reporting.
July 4th a Thursday. I get a call at 8:30 am asking me to come in to the cop shop because I’ve breached my condition of not reporting. Well shit. I get there 9 am with mum and lawyer. We talk for half an hour and I tell them why I didn’t contact them. They arrest me. And I’m kept in the holding cells till the next day for court. I am scared shitless. No sleep. Friday rolls around. My court time is 11 am. God damnit. Judge seems nice. Bail refused and I am sent to jail until the 23rd of July. Which is on a Monday. Holy shit I’m going to jail what the fuck. I finally had a job. I was doing an animal studies class. Life was okay. Sent to jail. Didn’t get there till 6pm. Didn’t get processed and into a cell till midnight. Day 2 of no sleep.
First day. I had a cell mate. He decided to slash his wrists because he owed someone nicotine lozenges. Which is what replaced ciggerates. Was starving but now I’m not. I’m currently in processing and won’t be in the main wings till I see welfare Monday. After the guards take him away I cry for god knows how long.
I’m In protection because I’m classed as a sex offender. That Saturday night no sleep again because next door decided to do a Jeffery Epstein. Except this was an actual suicide. Nurse came around for pills and guards were doing head checks. Guard yells out shit he’s hung himself. They try cpr for god knows how long. Sunday. I get a new cell mate. He’s cool. Monday I see welfare then get transferred to a new wing. my new cell mate is okay I’m with him for week. Until he fights someone then when they want to move him to another wing he decides to destroy the cell and flood it. I then get moved to a four out. Four people to a cell. It ain’t bad if you’re with the right people but unfortunately I’m with the wrong people.
I’m with fat fuck and 2 others but those 2 guys get moved a couple days later so it’s me and fat fuck until a week before my court date. He’s fine at first. Quiet then he starts asking questions about why I’m here. I’ve come up with selling weed. Up until then no one questions my story. Asks how much I sold, made, where I sell. But him he asks everything. I mustve fucked up because he picked it apart and caught my lie. He threatens me to tell the truth and so I tell him. Proceeds to make my life hell. Nickname is cradle snatcher. Proceeds to beat me, not severly but enough that it hurts. Then the night before we get new cell mates is the second worst thing to happen. He rapes me. Anally and orally. Threatened me immensely. Didn’t tell anyone. Then the other guys move in. They proceed to torture me, beat me. At least the rape was a one time thing. Now you may ask how is being raped number 2 shouldn’t it be 1. Oh it was. Till I went to have a shower and fat fuck decide to boil water. On activity lists you can get a jug. Dunno why because it’s dangerous. Anyway he boiled water then opened the curtain and threw it at me. Hitting my inner thigh and cock. My thigh got burned and skin peeled. It’s fine now. My cock though. Skin peeled and burned. There’s forever a splotch on my cock. You’d think I would tell the guards. Haha nope. Threatened again. I believed he would find a way no matter what. Didn’t tell the guards. They didn’t notice or care when I was stripped search after visits. That happened on the 23rd. Court was ajourned till September. Lucky for me I got moved to a new cell because while I was gone for court they kicked me out to get some junkie in with them. Couple extra nice people later I get moved in august to a new wing. This one I’m out of my cell from 8 till 3. Before I was loved in for 22 hours a day. Everyone knew what happened to me because of fat fuck running his mouth because he got moved with me. They asked for my side and could see I was truthful so no problems there. They actually were genuinely nice and understanding. Fat fuck got stabbed a week before my next court because he tried being shifty on a drug deal. I laughed hard. Court gets adjourned till November.
I’m moved to a different jail. Smaller and better. At the big jail I stayed in my cell all the time because I was terrified. New jail I was always out and it was good. I was as happy as you can be in jail. Here no one asked why I was in. They just did their time and I did mine. Court gets ajourned again. Till January. Dad passes away a week after my November court and they don’t even let me go to the funeral the cunts. Fast forward to February this year because guess who’s date go pushed back. 2 push backs till the 28th. And I get out. Fucking finally. Now I have to deal with an open criminal record because before jail. There was no conviction recorded. But now there is. I’m also on the register for life now so fucking fantastic news. But the good thing is I can try to appeal. So I’ll be a good boy for a couple years and then appeal.
Sorry this went on so long. Felt like sharing this. Just remember kids. Please don’t share nudes. It ain’t worth the risk. Wait till your 18. And even then I wouldn’t do it.
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harris-coopers · 6 years
Text
The Sprousehart Timeline
Or the Story of how we went from  🐈 to  🐺. 
So here it is! This runs from 2016 to Today. It has pictures but videos are linked. Huge thanks to @emmalrb @forsythpendleton and @sprousehartinvestigation for the help. This was 30 pages so be warned it’s really long! - Rose
2016
Febuary
-          Casting is announced for ‘Archie Comics remake’ Aka Riverdale. Lili and Cole are cast as Betty Cooper and Jughead Jones respectively.
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March 21st
-          The cast have dinner to celebrate one week of filming Riverdale
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June 5th
-          Lili goes to the beach with Cole and Dylan
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-          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUSfYSKYKWY
July 22nd-25th
-          The cast go to comic con. Lots of looks and the infamous hug video.
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July 27th
-          Cole and Lili hang out with Debby at her place in LA.
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-          https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=7&v=xZHJi8VZSgc
August 4th
-          Lili wishes Cole a happy birthday
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September 22nd
-          Roberto posts this picture. Filming for season two has resumed.
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Sometime in October
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2017
January 8th
-          Golden Globes: Lili is reportedly sitting in Cole’s lap.
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January 27th
-          The cast watch Lili and Camila on Seth Meyers
-          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiADYuyUuDw
Febuary 6th
-          Madelaine does a livestream. Lili disappears halfway through and Mads claims she’s ‘doing laundry’ whilst looking somewhat distracted, and when a fan asks to be shown around, Madelaine looks off of the camera (seemingly at someone) ‘You know I would but it’s a little dirty right now… Yeah. Dirty”
-          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjlL-PdQIQI&t=15
Febuary 13th
-          Run in with a fan whilst out in Vancouver
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Febuary 23rd
-          Hanging out with Debbie Ryan and Mad Hill after a live tweet session
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Febuary 25th
-          Madchen posts a picture of them at an Archie Comics art show
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Febuary 26th
-          Watching the Oscars at Debbies
-          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvZUwBunDig
March 6th
-          They take a nature adventure together
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March 16th
-          Lili comes back from filming a movie and the two take a trip together
-          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpnXy-51-iI
March 17th
-          Cole posts an Instagram story from the same field from a few days before
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March 18th
-          Cat sitting Debby Ryan’s cats at her place.
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March 19th
-          Both respectively posted the pictures of Lili in the flower field.
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March 30th
-          Livestream with Lili and Camila, Cole joins towards the end and they seemingly forget that they are on live (it basically becomes the Lili and Cole show)
-          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2QopGkT5rI&t=782s
April 1st
-          Wondercon with all the infamous interviews, the looks and the jokes.
-          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KKYYPj4eg0&t=1s
-          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loHQbxR3DNU
-          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBGe89llmfg
-          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bupIy9_W2mE&t=91s
April 2nd
-          They have a breakfast date together. Cole is in the same clothes from Wondercon
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-          The cast hang out for a pool day at Skeet’s.
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April 3rd
-          They fly to Mexico together for the Riverdale promotion.
April 7th
-          Cast do a photoshoot in mexico.
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/159318225796/betty-and-jughead-bts-vid-of-shoot-with
April 8th
-          The cast explore Mexico together and Cole and Lili matched outfits.
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April 9th
-          The cast explored Mexico a little and Lili and Cole seemingly went on their own adventure
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April 11th
-          Cole uploads bts pictures of Lili from behind the scenes of Riverdale season 1. Aka the Lili Reinhart Slideshow.
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-          http://betty-and-jughead.tumblr.com/post/159466991892/thank-you-cole-sprouse-for-blessing-us-with-these
April 15th
-          The Riverdale cast attend Coachella together.
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-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/159644335946
April 17th
-          Cast video from Mexico, Interviewer asks “Who has the most secrets?” Everyone else responds with “Cole” and Lili responds with “I feel like if you ask Cole anything, he’ll tell you”
-          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxV5_fSmdBk
April 20th
-          Lili and Cole went on a road trip to the Antelope Valley Poppy fields after Lili posts on Instagram stories.
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April 23rd
-          Cole shares black and white Instagram picture of Lili and Lili shares a similar one in color. Her caption reads ‘Thank you for indulging me’
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-          Cole and Lili on a lunch date spotted by a fan
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/159916118938/oh-my-poor-sprousehart-heart-they-married-i
April 27th
-          Riverdale cast attend Paleyfest 2017
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-          Cole and Lili get asked by MTV about their recent pictures of each other in an interview.
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/160098987696/betty-and-jughead-mtv-shared-a-new-interview
May 2017
 May 5th
-           Mads and Lili do a live stream – Cole is in the background and says “just our chemistry baby”
-           https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wRmEK_UG3s&t=4s
May 6th
- Lili posts another picture to her Instagram taken by Cole from the antelope valley (Pic)
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 May 12th
-           Riverdale season 1 finale Cole and Lili sit next to each other whilst watching the episode
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 May 15th        
-           Someone mentions Lili’s scientastic video on Cole’s Reddit and Cole responds with “I wish I never mentioned this in an interview she is going to kill me”
May 16th
-           On twitter someone posts a pic of Dylan and Cole as kids and asks which one is Cole and Lili replys with “He is on the Left”
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May 17th
-           Cole, Lili and Mads fly to New York for the CW upfronts Cole puts Lili on his instagram story and Lili puts Cole on her Instagram story.
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 May 18th
-           CW Upfronts numerous pics together pls the interview of Cole discussing his first onscreen love scene “ Lili and I are professionals but I was excited.. it was great”
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-           https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfbYCtCaURg
 May 21st
-           Lili uploads a group shot of the girls from the cast on her instagram, Cole comments with the heart eyes emoji 
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May 22nd
-           Lili uploads photos to her tumblr of Cole in the car when they arrived in New York for the upfronts
 May 26th
-           Cole and Lili go out on a breakfast date Lili uploads this to her story but soon deletes it
-           Also spotted by fans on same day
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June 2nd
-           Twitter banter between Cole and Lili about having to sit near to each other at the con – Cole hits back saying “coming from someone who scrambled to get on my flight earlier”
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 June 3rd & 4th
-           Lili and Cole are in Philadelphia for Wizard World con we get multiple moments such as “how did it feel to kiss Cole – Fantastic how bout that” “The dogs because I’m whipped”
- We later learn through tumblr photos and a birthday post that Lili also photographed Cole whilst in Philadelphia
-           Also really cute photo ops of Cole and Lili with their arms around each other
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- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bRLlfQ62ig
 June 10th
-           Game night at Debby’s house footage of Lili’s putting her feet up on Cole’s lap
 June 12th
-           Twitter banter continues with Lili replying to Cole’s stocking over the face picture with multiple emojis  
 June 14th
-           Lili comments on Cole’s Adidas campaign picture on his instagram saying “Yayyyy!”
 June 15th
-           Lili uploads to her IG story ‘bold and brash’ Spongebob episode that she looked up on youtube which is what Cole used to describe Jughead in the May livestream with Cami.
 June 16th  
-           Lili posts instagram story of Cole dancing in her trailer
-            https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/161906307803
-           Twitter banter Cole roasts Lili for getting KJ’s birthday mixed up
 June 21st
-           First table read for season 2 of Riverdale: Cole and Lili are sitting next to each other
 June 23rd
-           Cole and Lili spotted out in Vancouver together by fans
  June 27th  
-           Cole and Lili spotted by fans in the same car together 
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 June 28th
-           Cole is in Lili’s IG story flossing his teeth in the makeup trailer
-            https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/162342325251/lili-via-ig-stories
July 2nd
-          The cast celebrates Canada day together
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July 9th
-          Lili, Cole, Casey and Madelaine went out for breakfast together
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July 13th
-          Cole and fan have an encounter when Cole asks said fan to stop busking while they film their scene.
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/162942827736/rarecolesprouse-another-video-of-cole-talking-to
July 20th-July 23rd
-          Riverdale Cast attend comic con. He gives Lili his jacket
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/163334288441/prettyshows-comic-con-2017
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/163495195696/for-people-who-do-not-believe-you-are-bothering?is_related_post=1
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/163469516520/already-the-third-video-here-ig-conrant
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/163341488711/bronwynn-riverdale-video-the-cast-gets
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July 29th
-          Cole and Lili go to the movies with her Mum and Sister
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/163567229916/quirkyanya-cole-lili-her-mum-and-sis-at-the
July 31st
-          Cast are back to filming
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/163628163386/why-its-so-cute
  August 2nd
-          Lili and Cole on a breakfast date
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/163727212601/bugheader-i-know-we-should-give-lili-and-cole
August 4th
-          Lili posts a birthday message for Cole to Instagram
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August 5th
-          Cole posts a picture of Lili’s hair
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August 8th
-          Cole posts a picture of Lili in a wheat field
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/163955156496/leaalda-bugheadjones-the-third-mionetrash
August 11th
-          Skeet’s “They have great chemistry” interview
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/164073315651/riverdale-star-skeet-ulrich-dishes-on-cole
August 13th
-          Teen choice awards, Lili win’s Choice breakout star and Cole and Lili win Choiceship for bughead.
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August 20th
-          Fan sighting’s in whistler with pictures
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/164399085211
August 22nd
-          Fan sighting with (blurry) pictures. They’re with a dog.
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/164483478086/gershwinn-can-you-believe-coles-so-distracted
August 26th
-          Lili posts a picture of Cole to Instagram stories
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-          Pictures from Antelope Valley surface, ones that Cole has put on his photography portfolio
August 27th
-          The cast all do Karaoke
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/164665522561/sprouseharts-god-listened-to-my-prayers
September 13th
-          Entertainment weekly behind the scenes shoot
-          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92ZF6lgw4us
-          Cole’s “It’s very pleasing that people talk about Lili and I in that way” quote
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/165310944671/b3tty-jughead-freetimefase-adorebughead
September 16th
-          Taylor’s infamous shoe picture.
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/165407326356/just-mafe-g-adorebughead
September 17th
-          Cole takes Lili on a hot air balloon for her birthday weekend
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September 18th
-          Lili posts an Instagram story with Cole
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/165486724911
September 20th
-          Cole, Casey and Lili out to lunch
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/165556469056/gershwinn-amab1060-cole-casey-and-lili-at
September 21st
-          Another food date
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/165593745991/mariafernandez4-well-they-have-to-eat-a-few
September 22nd
-          Cole posts a picture of Lili to Instagram stories
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/165611094446/this-is-pure-omfgggggg
September 26th
-          ‘Make up tutorial’ Instagram story
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/165774345113/they-just-all-together-cami-via-ig-stories
September 27th
-          Lili’s first impression of Cole
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/165799704506/perfectingfaith-this-really-attractive-normal
-          Twitter banter between Lili, Cole and Miss Piggy
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/165808125721/gershwinn-rubyventure-amab1060-i-am
October 1st
-          Lili and Cole are seen at a grocery store buying baking ingredients. Fan picture and Lili posts to Instagram story
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/165930324716/gershwinn-gingerheel-juggybetts-domestic
October 5th
-          Lili posts a video of Cole to Instagram stories
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166097388559/lili-via-ig-stories-5102017-oh-cole
October 7th
-          Lili and Cole are seen at the airport
-          Lili and Cole are seen in San Francisco
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166163867071/paperlesscrown-deathlydelight-saw-this-on
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166163833521/amab1060-wrightst3-lilis-ig-story-i-hope
October 9th
-          Cole and Lili got out for breakfast (eggs and toast) at 1am
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166211835126/quirkyanya-ashsays-bettyscooperr-and-his
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166211821046/hotsforbughead-cole-singing-in-the-background
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166211845926/quirkyanya-baes-having-breakfastfor-late-dinner
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166211898871/disneygeekgirl71-so-now-theyre-watching
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166235514176/gershwinn-still-enjoying-their-trip-guys
October 10th
-          Lili and Cole arrive back in Vancouver
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166257203336/riverdalesource-lili-reinhart-cole-sprouse
-          Marisol posts a picture of SH in regards to Riverdale
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October 11th
-          Riverdale cast does a livestream without Lili. Fan asks where she is and Cole responds “Lili’s asleep”
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166303924751/amab1060-lilis-asleep-oh-my-sh
October 16th
-          Lili and Cole went shopping in new York together
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166475384961/amab1060-so-cole-got-new-clothes
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166484636121/carnivalsofsilverfish-the-accidental-gif-i-got
October 17th
-          Cole posts a picture to Instagram of Lili from their San Francisco trip.
-          Lili posts pictures from San Francisco too
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      https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166517977996/gershwinn-riverdalelovee-okay-they-officially
October 18th
-          ET interview is released Lili says this ‘“We get along quite well,” Reinhart said coyly. “We’re doing good.”
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166585483046/gershwinn-ohmysprouseheart-this-i-stg-if
October 19th
-          Lili posts two pictures from the San Francisco trip to tumblr
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October 20th
-          Lili posts an Instagram video with Cole and Charles
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166622399306/amab1060-cole-saying-lilis-name-is-my-thing
October 23rd
-          The cast are pumpkin carving together
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166700904856/amab1060-theres-a-cole
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166701147141/inthemoodforchaos-camis-ig-live-101117
-          Lili posts another San Francisco picture
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166726950701/gershwinn-jugheadsbean-another-one-your
October 24th
-          New pictures of the cast from the Entertainment weekly shoot are posted
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166749904731/itsbettyandjughead-new-photos-of-the-riverdale
October 25th
-          Cole does an interview with Kelly and Ryan ‘They’re contractually obliged to give me as many kiss scenes as possible”
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166780314431/bugheadotp-cole-sprouse-riverdale-complete
October 29th
-          Halloween: Cole is talking about Lili having fomo.
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166901771091/quirkyanya-coelsprouse-i-wonder-who-cole-could
October 30th
-          Fan pic of Lili and Cole out and about. She is wearing his jacket
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/166937327316/amab1060-inahologram-how-fucking-adorable-is
November 1st
-          Lili posts a selfie with Cole where they’re both wearing Halloween make up
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-          Marisol does an Instagram live and talks about Lili and Cole “And Lili is waiting for him”
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/167030966371/bettsxjuggy-confessionsof-riverdale-youre
November 5th
-          The cast are doing karaoke together
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/167149401416/sprousehart-cole-and-lili-in-ashas-story-are
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/167150383451/juggybetts-bless-our-captain-casey-cott
November 6th
-          Lili posts another San Francisco picture
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/167205825586/bugheadjones-the-third-magnificent
November 7th
-          Cole posts an Instagram story of Lili
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/167250928081/amab1060-cole-loves-a-bearded-angel
November 8th
-          Lili posts a video of Cole to Instagram stories
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/167276289461/gershwinnlili-did-that-part-iii
November 19th
-          Lili posts another San Francisco picture
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November 22nd
-          Cole does an interview with People magazine and comments on the relationship
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/167780269541/cole-sprouse-on-riverdale-sexiness-lili
November 24th
-          Lili posts another San Francisco picture
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/167846303941/gershwinn-amab1060-daaaaaamn-holy-shitttttt
November 26th
-          More twitter banter
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/167922492286/amab1060-amab1060-dead
December 4th
-          Camila posts an Instagram story including Lili and Cole. HEART EYES
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/168203856503/we-blessed-cami-via-ig-stories-4122017
December 5th
-          Lili posts an elf gif to Instagram ‘I’m in love and don’t care who knows it’
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/168211468866/omgggggggfffffffgfndjdbsushwvsvhsgggg-what-is
December 6th
-          Lili posts a picture of Cole on Instagram
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/168250154901/she-also-seems-to-want-to-kill-us-all
December 7th
-          Lili, Cole, Cami and KJ are spotted somewhere in Vancouver.
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/168295166274/part-1-source-6122017
December 8th
-          Lili posts an Instagram story
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/168330651272/lili-via-ig-stories-8122017
December 9th
-          Lili via IG stories
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/168377507816/lili-via-ig-stories-9122017
 December 11th
-          Cole and Lili with a fan
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/168428161986/amab1060-inahologram-cuties-today
December 12th
-          Lili posts a picture to Instagram
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/168488516861/amab1060-holy-hell-this-night-keeps-getting
December 17th
-          Lili posts to Instagram stories about Cole as a child in Friends.
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/168638260691/lili-via-ig-stories-16122017
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/168638252656/lili-via-ig-stories-16122017
December 20th
-          Skeet posts a Happy Holidays picture of Lili, Cole and himself
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/168760946641/quirkyanya-sprousehartlikes-so-fucking
December 29th
-          Lili and Cole were spotted at the airport
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169075740141/bronwynn-colelili
December 30th
-          Lili posts an Instagram story
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169130256261/rarecolesprouse-theyre-enjoying-the-beach
-          Lili posts an Instagram story
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169132140261/lavandersunrise-lol
 2018
January 1st
-          Lili and Cole in Hawaii
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169208364791/amab1060-hi
-          Lili and Cole in Hawaii with a fan
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169210296976/a92vm-amab1060-hi-again-oh-hey-i-am-dying
January 2nd
-          Lili and Cole in Hawaii with fans
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169213873151/duskyblossom-cuties
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169215565621/om-my-gooood
-          Lili and Cole walking away
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169227516601/quirkyanya-zumpie-from-thecwrivedale-and-i
January 3rd
-          Lili posts to Instagram stories
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169255584536
-          Lili and Camila’s cosmopolitan interview comes out
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169266475521/the-riverdale-actresses-are-cosmos-february-cover
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169266543641/camila-and-lili-on-what-they-think-the-biggest
-          Helicopter tour
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169290541831
 January 4th
-          Insta live is posted mentioning Sprousehart
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169321338021/amab1060-i-found-this-on-instagram-and-thought-it
-          Lili posts to Instagram stories
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169320645601/ultimatecaptainswan-so-romantic
-          Cole posts to Instagram stories
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169326220146/cole-via-ig-stories-4012018
-          Fan photo
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169331872186/new-photo-1012018
January 5th
-          Lili’s cosmopolitan interview comes out
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169362345446/sproushart-my-heart-ahhhhh
-          More sprousehart Hawaii comes out
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169362993696/quirkyanya-gershwinn-amab1060-this-is
-          Hawaii photos come out
Tumblr media
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169363214886/a92vm-quirkyanya-hawaii-magic-source
January 6th
-          Lili and Cole arrive back in Los Angeles
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169397238296/super-madi16-so-i-talked-to-the-guy-who-got-the
January 8th
-          Lili and Cole arrive back in Vancouver
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169461548026/strawberrytrifles-another-picturesss-7118
January 9th
-          Cole interview where Hawaii is mentioned
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169504205251/cole-lili-sprousehart-winonal-bronwynn-it
January 14th
-          Cole and Lili sighting in Vancouver
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169712968181
January 16th
-          Cole posts an Instagram story of Lili
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169802507428/cole-via-ig-stories-16012018
January 17th
-          Lili does an Instagram live and mentions Cole. “I think Cole’s lucky that he gets to
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169833833917/lili-ig-live-17012018-iconic
January 18th
-          Lili posts a picture to Instagram of herself in Hawaii.
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169858123561/ohmysprouseheart-lili-by-cole-on-ig-011818
January 19th
-          Cole posts an Instagram story of Lili
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169905179021/adorebughead-these-kids
January 21st
-          Casey posts a picture of KJ, Cole and Lili to instagram
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/169950095436/strawberrytrifles-holyshhhhhhhhhttttt
January 31st
-          Lili posts to Instagram stories, videos with Cole on set, doing the box.
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/170334874441/lili-via-ig-stories-30012018
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/170334890150/lili-via-ig-stories-30012018
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/170334850535/lili-via-ig-stories-30012018
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/170334825164/lili-via-ig-stories-30012018
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/170334867019/lili-via-ig-stories-30012018
February 2nd
-          Riverdale Instagram story
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/170426156516/riverdale-via-ig-stories-2022018
February 4th
-          Lili and Cole via Instagram in whistler
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/170484682866/super-madi16-love-this-little-family
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/170508174256/cole-via-ig-stories-4022018
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/170513872931/for-those-who-doubt-in-something
February 6th
-          Lili posts to snapchat. ‘When he calls me hot, even with pimple cream on’
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/170598965986/erkay-lilz-she-just-did-that-lili-via-snapchat
February 7th
-          Hart via Instagram stories
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/170630626366/hart-via-ig-7022018
-          Lili via Instagram
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/170636332596/the-way-he-looks-at-her-though-i-will-never-get
February 8th
-          Hart Denton via Instagram
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/170664537836/a92vm-amab1060-bronwynn-ruverdale-im
-          Lili via Instagram
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/170664864801/a92vm-n0pleasestayhere-wow-i-love-one-1
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/170668391356/sunny-and-hart-via-ig-8022018
February 13th
-          Cole and Lili spotted at the airport
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/170853277855/rachael-peterson-via-ig-stories-13022018-sh
February 16th
-          Lili via Instagram stories (72 ROSES)
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/170962941456/lili-via-ig-stories-16022018
February 17th
-          Lili via Instagram stories
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/170999766092/lili-via-ig-stories-17022018
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/171096469461/strawberrytrifles-whistler-valentine-getaway
February 20th
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/171110821326/lili-via-ig-stories-20022018
February 26th
-          Cole posts an Instagram picture
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/171334313846/roothful-isnt-too-hard-to-connect-the-dots
February 28th
-          Lili via Instagram stories
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/171396835677/lili-via-ig-stories-28022018
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/171394963766/lili-via-ig-stories-28022018
March 1st
-          Lili via Instagram stories
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/171404742071/gingerheel-amab1060-lilis-insta-i-see
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/171421707951/ashsays-out-with-cole-i-see
-          Lili via Instagram
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/171438399101/jeemyjamz-jeemyjamz-lilireinhart-i-cant
March 10th
-          Lili and Cole out shopping together
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/171743234881/gershwinn-lili-and-cole-out-and-about-and
-          Lili and Cole out and about in Vancouver
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/171753830056/sprouseharts-oh-but-look-who-was-around-for
March 11th
-          Lili and Cole out and about
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/171775569651/gershwinn-the-actual-cutest-couple-alive-a
March 15th
-          Madchen via Instagram stories
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/171962094235/madchen-via-ig-17032018-posted-but-was
March 17th
-          Casey via Instagram stories
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/171974985531/casey-via-ig-stories-17032018
March 18th
-          Cole via Instagram
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/171988680716
-          Timena via Instagram stories. Cole and Lili dancing together at the wrap party
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/171989568976/tim%C4%93na-apa-via-ig-stories-18032018
March 23rd
-          Cami via Instagram stories
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172191212989/cami-via-ig-stories-23032018
March 25th
-          Paleyfest. ‘Lili I’m coming for your man’
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172252221281/imbadwithusernames1-lili-i-am-coming-for-your
-          “Are you guys dating?”
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172256459781/heytherejones-my-poor-babies-oh-mygod
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172260641776
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172255228011/love-and-music-r-life
Tumblr media Tumblr media
-          Paleyfest snapchat
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172263219756/paperlesscrown-gingerheel-bugheadmyloves
March 30th
-          Lili and Cole (and Matt) arrive in Paris
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172415362826/cole-sprouse-lili-reinhart-arrive-in
March 31st
-          Lili and Cole leave their hotels
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172442559101
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172442579241/idreamyourface-lili-is-with-him-in-the-car
-          Lili and Cole at Rivercon
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172447635516/amab1060-i-cant
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172450951841/people-convention-via-ig-31032018
-          Lili’s chat with fans at Rivercon
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172467408541/sprousehartfetus-gershwinn-jugheadass
April 1st
-          Lili and Cole at Rivercon
Tumblr media Tumblr media
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172500233021/lilireinheart-on-twitter-has-coles-face-when-lili
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172500193171/amab1060-lili-and-cole-by-antoine-bice
April 2nd
-          Skeet via Instagram stories
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172520545546/skeet-via-ig-stories-2042018
-          Lili and Cole on date night
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172533533456/look
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172552934046/lili-and-cole-in-paris-2042018
-          Lili via Instagram stories
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172550884611/lili-via-ig-stories-3042018
April 3rd
-          Pictures in Paris from paparazzi
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172554362861/paris-2042018
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172554621086/paris-2042018
April 4th
-          Lili and Cole at the airport from paris
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172608493441/lilirenhart-lili-and-cole-at-lax-airport-in-los
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172609787526/lili-and-cole-at-lax-airport-in-los-angeles
April 5th
-          Marisol tweets about Lili and Cole
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172625780021/rarecolesprouse-marisol
April 7th
-          Lili and Madelaine at a Chicago convention
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172694500783/heroes-villains-fan-fest-in-chicago-7042018
April 12
-          Chicago convention question
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172860503586/gershwinn-if-you-could-pick-anybody-to-play
April 14th
-          Lili and Cole are in Mexico together
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172929563006/lili-via-ig-stories-14042018
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172930572229/cole-via-ig-stories-14042018
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172930454963/cole-via-ig-stories-14042018
April 16th
-          Cole via Instagram
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/172930454963/cole-via-ig-stories-14042018
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173005120726/a92vm-first-lili-in-his-instastory-and-then-a
-          Lili via Instagram
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173016406831/hey
April 17th
-          Lili and Cole post to Instagram pictures from Mexico
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173032456536/lili-via-ig-17042018-mexico-april-2018
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173034103101/cole-via-ig-17042018-mexico-april-2018
-          The ‘You’re the fish’
-          https://sprousehart-x.tumblr.com/post/175186189432/what-does-ur-the-mean-thank-yiu
Tumblr media
April 23rd
-          Lili posts another picture from Mexico to Instagram
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173228986686/a92vm-proud-boyfriend-and-supporting-friend
April 26th
-          Lili and Cole are together in LA and post stories to instagram
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173340608727/cole-via-ig-stories-26042018
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173340465387/babes-together-lili-via-ig-stories-26042018
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173342388051/amab1060-h4rombutera-on-twitter-26042018
April 28th
-          Lili and Cole post to Instagram stories about oatmeal.
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173403702131/murderyoursoul-they-were-truly-made-for-each
-          Lili posts an Instagram story about cuximala
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173410656713/lili-via-ig-stories-29042018
April 30th
-          Lili posts to Instagram another mexico picture
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173457779826
May 7th
-          Lili and Cole attend the Met Gala 2018
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173679674036/teen-vogue-via-ig-stories-7052018-so-fucking
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173682468596/lavandersunrise-amab1060-omg
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173683280731
Tumblr media
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173685235591/amab1060-sprouseharts-lili-reinhart-and-cole
May 8th
-          Lili via Instagram
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173708305336
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173709240161/a92vm-sprouseharts-lili-reinhart-and-cole
 May 10th
-          More Met Gala content
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173758071701/closeyoureyesandbelieve-lili-reinhart-and-cole
-          https://sprousehart-x.tumblr.com/post/173754639462/lili-and-cole-at-the-met-gala
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173757815716/inahologram-cole-is-not-subtle-at-all
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173757918566/inahologram-new-photos-from-inside-look-at
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173770426996/met-gala-2018
May 15th
-          Vogue posts a picture of Lili and Cole at the Met Gala, taken by Kendall Jenner
Tumblr media
-          Cole posts to Instagram
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173928313581/cole-via-ig-15052018
-          Lili posts to snapchat
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173933676296/you-should-see-lilis-snapchat-story-she-wrote
May 17th
-          The Riverdale cast at the CW Upfronts
Tumblr media
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173993619846/2018-cw-network-upfront-at-the-london-hotel-on-may
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/173993416711/cole-sprouse-attends-the-2018-cw-network-upfront
-          Lili and Cole at the after party
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/174010628931/instaaachris-via-ig-ig-stories-17052018
Tumblr media
May 19th
-          More Met Gala content
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/174066202111/closeyoureyesandbelieve-lili-reinhart-on-the
-          Lili and Cole at Debby Ryan’s birthday. ( Wasn’t confirmed until later that he was there)
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/174073703748/lili-via-ig-stories-19052018
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/174073757688/lili-via-ig-stories-19052018
-          Cole video
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/174103925751/queenserpette-amab1060-i-think-i-do-see-his
May 21st
-          Lili and Cole at a CW photoshoot via Lili’s snapchat
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/174119940741/closeyoureyesandbelieve-lili-reinhart-and-cole
May 23rd
-          Lili and Cole via Madelaine’s youtube channel
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/174186997461/gershwinn-mr-mrs-sprouse-in-action
May 25th
-          Lili’s Men’s health magazine comes out. “The last man to sweep me off my feet shipped six dozen roses to a hotel for a weekend getaway.
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/174237040386/tikibabe-hopefully-its-a-little-clearer-and
-          Lili and Cole in New Orleans. Cole is filming Five Feet Apart there.
-          https://sprousehart-x.tumblr.com/post/174300554302/lili-and-cole-in-new-orleans-may-25th
May 26th
-          Lili posts some bts pictures of Riverdale season 2
Tumblr media
         https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/174261009906/lili-via-ig-stories-25052018-bts-riverdale
May 28th
-          Lili and Cole out in New Orleans
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/174330805896/rachel-lynn-mattews-via-ig-stories-28052018
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/174331502659/julesdougherty-via-ig-stories-27052018
May 29th
-          Lili posts a picture to Instagram stories of herself wearing Cole’s Jacket.
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/174370392331/ccshbh-goodbye-productivity-because-lili-just
May 31st
-          Lili posts a picture from the Met Gala to Instagram. She has left NOLA
Tumblr media
June 3rd
-          More Met Gala content
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/174526938371/sprousehart-x-lili-and-cole-at-the-met-gala
-          Cole posts to Instagram stories
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/174548573341/cole-via-ig-stories-3062018
June 6th
-          Picture from Lili’s birthday 2017 is released by the hot air balloon company
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/174633358611/amab1060-okballooning-on-instagram-from
June 9th
-          KJ on Lili and Cole at Oz Comic con
-          https://sprousehart-x.tumblr.com/post/174717144357/cole-and-lili-have-a-very-special-relationship
June 10th
-          KJ on Lili and Cole at Oz Comic con
-          https://sprousehart-x.tumblr.com/post/174739674442/any-bughead-fans-here-are-you-shipping-them-for
-          https://sprousehart-x.tumblr.com/post/174772735155/kjs-full-answer-to-what-are-your-thoughts-on
June 14th
-          Fan commenting on Cole’s Camera Duels Instagram
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/174878986756/rarecolesprouse-canoeing-in-central-park
June 17th
-          Lili and Austyn talking about Cole via Austyn’s Instagram live
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/175007396726/babyourenotalone-here-the-important-part-of-the
June 23rd
-          Lili posts to Instagram a text convo with Cole about Shrek
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/175162823476/okay-but-how-many-times-has-lili-send-cole-shrek
Jun 24th
-          Lili and Cole go on a double with Hart and Sonny
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/175229019578/we-love-double-dates-lili-via-ig-stories
June 26th
-          Lili does a glamour video and mentions the Met Gala briefly.
-          https://sprousehart-x.tumblr.com/post/175270216812/this-look-was-one-of-my-favorite-looks-it-was-my
-          A fan posts a picture with Lili and Cole
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/175293484406/lavandersunrise-lili-girlyou-look-good
-          Cole via Instagram stories
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/175292278361/cole-via-ig-stories-26062018
June 30th
-          More Met Gala content comes out
-          https://sprousehart-x.tumblr.com/post/175419087054
July 1st
-          More Met Gala content
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/175433464151/sprousehart-x-lili-and-cole-at-the-met-gala
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/175433470311/sprousehart-x-lili-and-cole-at-the-met-gala
-          Lili and Cole in Los Angeles (video made 30th June)
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/175449085791/gershwinn-sam-mcilvaine-heres-the-full-vid
July 2nd
-          Lili does an interview with Harpers Bazaar
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/175472792426/sprousehart-x-i-dont-act-to-be-famous-she
-          The Riverdale cast does a photoshoot together
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/175485947286/clairetastic-via-ig-stories-2072018
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/175480900931/cami-via-ig-stories-2072018
July 4th
-          Cole and KJ Are road tripping back to Vancouver for the starts of season 3. KJ posts to Instagram stories with Cole talking to Lili in the background
-          https://sprousehart-x.tumblr.com/post/175554871820/you-can-hear-lili-in-this-one
July 7th
-          Riverdale cast dinner
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/175644014896/gershwinn-robertoaguirresacasa-dinner-with
-          Lili posts to Instagram and Cole comments
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/175664755386/cole
July 10th
-          Cole posts to Instagram
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/175765916255/cole-via-ig-stories-10072018
-          Lili tweets about it
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/175769453896/hes-literally-shitposting-from-the-bathroom-with
July 13th
-          Lili posts to Instagram stories
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/175873332676/bugheadlover101-lili-reinhart-vis-ig-story
July 14th
-          Unofficial announcement that Lili will be in a feature film. Cole and her have flown to another part of Canada for this.
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/175902356066/gillesdemaistre-via-ig-14072018
July 16th
-          Bts of season 2 episode 8 comes out with Lili and Cole
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/175964727011/bts-2x08
July 17th
-          Lili posts a snapchat with Cole and Luke
-          https://sprousehart-x.tumblr.com/post/175983037093/lili-and-cole-and-luke-via-lilis-snapchat
-          CW Comic con promotional shoot is posted
-          https://sprousehartinvestigation.tumblr.com/post/175992039016/sprousehartlikes-cutest-smiley-beans
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goat--ish · 5 years
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Back on my bs because I had time!!! Yayyyy!! also cuz Jon needs more hugs
The second and last part of this cuz I should be doing something else so yeah, here it is. Still awkward, badly written and still beautiful~
It's midnight when he closes his eyes and leans against the back of his chair. A little earlier than usual but that night Jon just seems to need it so much more than other days. It's been a rough week and, even when he slept one or two hours per night, he was craving a different type of rest.
His eyes are heavy and all his body aches as if screaming to forget about those silly ideas of his and get somewhere to sleep. Alas, that would be a better idea but Jon is sleep deprived enough to be able to recognize -at least to himself- that good ideas aren't his forte. The idea makes him chuckle and there, in the middle of his office, he also admits that he's tired pass the point to even laugh at his sarcastic remark.
Still, he's not sure if he's fuzzy with good energy because of his lack of sleep or because he can feel the threads of his fantasy slowly coming to life again, ready to modify countless of times so they can be perfect. He remembers leaving incomplete the idea of a surprise birthday party for Melani the other day, so he tries to concentrate on that, trying to figure out how would he coordinate something like that. Who would come? What flavor the cake would be? Would there be beer or soda? Would they decorate the place or would they take the party somewhere else? Who's house would it be?
"Jon?"
The voice is small, doubting itself to even bother the man in the chair or maybe even doubtful to even exist. It startles him.
Jon jolts awake and turns towards the voice. Daisy is by his side, surprised by the man's reaction.
Jon felt his cheeks heating up knowing himself discovered doing something he knew he shouldn't be doing. Everyone else was having a hard enough time and here he was, hiding away in his office to daydream for his own pleasure. He should feel ashamed of himself, he should be apologizing, he should be worki-
"I... Basira told me she has been seeing you falling asleep on your chair this month." She explained slowly as if expecting that Jon wouldn't be able to keep up with her words "Don't you prefer to sleep somewhere else?"
A bed? A BED? NO. HE, The Archivist, should be fulfilling his goddamn job. There's no time to rest nor the time to be happy, he should be looking after the other and- Who is he kidding? He feels guilty, ashame even, but he knows enough to accept that he's sleep deprived. He isn't thinking right.
"I wasn't sleeping" he starts, too flustered to fake composture "I was... resting"
"Oh" Daisy nods softly as if accepting the poor explanation of the archivist, but her eyes are now full of curiosity and the simple idea of her asking made Jon's stomach make multiple flips.
She didn't ask, but the dread had already made a home in Jon's gut and it wasn't going away easily.
And so they got stuck along with the conversation. Daisy wanted to know but wasn't sure if it was alright to ask and, sincerely, she wanted to be Jon the one to break the silence; Jon didn't want to tell Daisy (and, if it was possible, to no one) about what he had been doing with his "free" time the last month or so. Both could tell the conversation wasn't over so they were hesitant to go away, but no one wanted to make a move.
It became awkward.
Jon looked away. He just failed another conversation with one of the people that still talk to him. It was hard, it was always so hard. There should be something he could do, right? But it was so awkward already. Why it could be like his fantasies? He always knew what to say in those.
And then his eyes fell on the clock and something came up, and the idea he could try. He could still try.
"The other day I saw a post-it on my door. Do you know who put it there?"
Daisy blinked a few times with disbelieve. She seemed... surprised. She was sure Jon would drop the conversation altogether because of how awkward she had been. It was nice to see him trying again and to have a second chance.
"I think it was Melani"
Jon nodded, honestly surprised by the answer and pleased as well. Another idea came up and the start of a smile formed in his face. He might as well just try it, right?
He searched inside of the cabinets of his desk, took out a pen and a bunch of post-its, and scribbled down something. Daisy observed while Jon got up, careful to no push her by accident, and walked towards the door with the first smile she had seen him made in all week.
"What are you doing?" She asked when the curiosity was enough to make her speak.
Jon turned and looked at her with the post-it in his hand, then looked at the door and then again at Daisy.
"Saying thanks?" He offered but his smile was smaller this time, timid.
"Why don't you say it in person?"
Jon looked at Daisy, then the door, then at Daisy again. This time his smile was losing ground by the second and it made Daisy feel a little bit guilty.
"Right. That's a better idea" he admitted, questioning now why has he though the post-it was a good idea.
It was sad to see the man losing all his excitement in a few seconds and even when he didn't look outright depressed, it was weird to see his stoic expression of every day after seeing him smile so bright. So it gave Daisy enough motivation to try again.
"I could go with you if you want. I'm afraid that Melani would try to kill you if you go alone" it was an honest offer, even if both of them knew she couldn't do anything against Melani.
Jon smile returned. Shy, but at least it was there again.
"I don't think I would be safe even if I went with Basira"
"I was thinking the same thing"
It isn't like his fantasies or even much of a conversation, but can't ignore the faint excitement growing at the bottom of his chest while talking with Daisy. The conversation goes on, slow but constant, filled with small sentences that are just enough to make them smile and to make them forget how exhausted they are until it is physically impossible to ignore the need of sleep.
"I'll be going then. Good night, Jon" Daisy said, looking tired but pleased.
Jon nodded, happy with the outcome. Perhaps it was the excitement talking or maybe he really was sleep deprived, because a new final idea came up into his mind and he had come so far already, why not try?
"Wait... uh, thanks for stopping by?"
It wasn't the awkwardness of that sentence which made Daisy come to a halt in front of the door, looking at the archivist as if he had lost it. It was the fact that Jon was standing in the middle of the office with his arms open, offering what instinct told her was a hug since Jon's stance was too awkward and weird to actually look like someone offering a goodbye-hug.
Looking at the other reaction, Jon immediately put his arms down, blushing so hard that it made him look strange.
"I'm sorry, you don't have to..."
"No, wait, I'll do it" Daisy blurted out, feeling ashame for staring "It's just... you never do that sort of thing"
"Oh, right. You still don't have to do it if you don't want to"
But it was decided. Daisy came closer and did what she could to put her arms around Jon while feeling as if someone would come and make fun of them. That didn't happen, of course, but the sensation was still there, making both of them too preoccupied to even enjoy the hug.
It was clumsy, to say the least. None of them were confident enough to actually touch the other so they looked like two idiots maintaining their arms raised to touch as little as possible of the other while still making direct contact. It wasn't like his fantasies but it was still warm, and it didn't end with him on the floor because of pain, so Jon decided it was nice. It was really nice.
When they ended the hug, both of them couldn't bear to look at the other but were still smiling. It was just too awkward to end it another way.
"You should really go to sleep" remarked Daisy, almost dashing to the door.
"R-right" Jon looked around, confused by how uncomfortable but pleased he was at the moment. Still, he got startled when he heard Daisy's voice again.
"Jon?" She called from the door, keeping herself outside just to make sure she could go when she wanted. She was still smiling and it actually looked sincere. "Good night"
"Good night" Jon repeated. Daisy didn't hear him, having walk away as soon as those words left her mouth, but it didn't change the fact that she had been smiling.
Jon took a seat on his chair, forgetting for a brief moment why the conversation ended. He was making progress. Maybe one day he could make it, be as happy as the Jon in his imagination.
Maybe.
Just maybe.
But that night was ok.
A really encouragingly "Ok".
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koichihase · 6 years
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Ikasan Birthday Live 2018
I went to Ikasan’s birthday live!! Guests were Alfakyun and Shoose~
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The moment she walked on stage, I heard the girls behind me going “yabai.....” And they were very justified.... She was dressed in a super fancy outfit and looked so cute!!! The sleeves were very loose and frilly and her hair was done so stylishly! she looked like a prince~ during an mc portion she’s like, isn’t this outfit very much a birthday outfit?
She sang Tokyo Teddy Bear and Liar Dance and afterwards talked about how they’re very important songs to her..... She said Tokyo Teddy Bear was one of the songs she though was super fun to sing! It was also the first of her uploads to really get some traction. At one point she got the girls and guys to cheer separately and was shocked at how energetic the guys were... she said she was gonna make a big deal out of getting them to yell but they did it on their own right away hahaha
She had an anisong portion where she sang the OP? for psycho pass and a few others. Then, she performed a song for her character in one of the stage productions she’s participated in!! She walked off the stage in the middle of the song and it was time for the band members to shine!! When the song was over, they set up a piano in the front and she played and sang Calc.... It was super nice! She said that it was super difficult to play but she absolutely wanted to play it.
When introducing the band members, she had something funny to say about all of them! she said something about the first guitarist’s smile and everyone went whoo~~~~ The drummer was being very flashy but missed catching his drumstick and she was like IT FINALLY HAPPENED YESSSSS. She also introduced the engineer (?), who used that bot everyone uses in namahousou to read comments to talk to us. She asked if there was anyone in the audience that didn’t know this voice and some people actually raised their hands 0:
Then, it was time for the guests to come on!! She sang kimi iroiro utsuri with alfakyun and they flirted a lot to lots of screaming~ every time they passed by each other while walking to the other end of the stage they’d exchange Looks.... Then at the very end, ikasan said it was special today so she told alfakyun I LOVE YOU!!! and alfakyun looked like a deer in headlights LMAO.....  they went right into MC so she spent most of it hyperventilating and making weird squeezing gestures with her hands LMAO IT WAS SUPER FUNNY.... she’s so energetic!! They talked about how while ikasan was brushing her teeth she wanted to see inside her mouth... or... something....... Sha also talked about her makeup and said that while it makes her look really cool while singing cool songs, but when she smiles it’s scary? Ikasan faces her (away from me) and I guess she smiles because alfakyun tells her to stop that and to never do it again so she’s the only person that gets to see it LOL
They intriduce the next song very slowly... 
koshi
tantan
and the sound from the audience is AMAZING, I was freaking out myself going “OH SHIT”
They sounded sooo good....... Then as the song ended alfakyun left the stage AND...... IFUU DOUDOU STARTED UP..... MORE SCREAMING and shoose enters the stage!!! they also exchange looks every time they pass each other.... and stood back to back for part of the song!! People really screamed a lot LOL it was a lot of fun..... Then they had a little time to talk and shoose wished her a happy birthday!! He got us to say it too but looked sooo unsure while doing it and even called himself out on it LOL cute..... ikasan said she took a selfie with shoose backstage but he was still in the middle of makeup so he had like a dollop of pink on his forehead?? They then sang roki and actually took selfies during that part of the song, very impressive.
She does a few more songs solo (haikei doppleganger!!) and for the last song of the encore she sang Tell Your World! I was wondering when it was gonna come up hahaha.
Finally, she and the band take a bow, and shoose and alfakyun come out with a cake and present!! The present was a surprise for her of messages written by the attendees for both osaka and tokyo performances! I think they said she already saw it backstage though LOL but that’s fine.... alfakyun handed it to her and she said she’d go through the messages carefully when she gets home~ Shoose was holding the cake so he didn’t have the mic, but alfakyun held it to him enough for him to tell her to open the present up in a very onee way :’) They take a picture and the two guests attempt to make a heart around her with their arms (it doesn’t work so well), and then it’s the end!!
except the screen flashes after she finally leaves the stage and it says she’s releasing an album next year, yayyyy!!!
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I really enjoyed how she talked about each song on the setlist and how they were very important to her... I could feel her love and care..... It was a really fun performance!! I hope to see her again sometime~
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mikumanogi-blog · 3 years
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2021-09-27 “I’ve turned 20!” Nakamura Reno blog [ENG]
Good evening, it’s Nakamura Reno!
Today I turned 20〜!
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YAYYYY!
When I joined Nogizaka I was only in middle school…Before I knew it, I was already an adult!
Everyone says that after you turn 20 time goes by in the blink of an eye. My teen years already went by in the blink of an eye, so what am I going to do if time goes even faster from now on! Lol
 In yesterday’s meet and greet many fans wished me a Happy Birthday, and all that love made me really emotional. Thank you very much! ✧
After the meet and greet I met with some of the members for the first time in a long time! They had early birthday party for me ☺︎ hehe.
 Therefore, what did I do today, in the morning I went to work alone, and then I went to practice in my uniform〜
Even at practice everyone wished me a happy birthday, I was very happy〜!
 Then〜
Somehow〜
I turned 20〜
 I also made an Instagram account〜!
YaY YaY!
 Many people said that they wanted me to make one and so I thought that this was the right time to make an account!
I think I’ll update it when I’m feeling like it so please follow and share ^ ^
 The account is here ↓
n.reno_official
Please make sure to follow! ☺︎
I hope that my year as a 20 year-old will be full of happiness and joy.
Without forget anything and of course not the fun things I’m going to continue to do my best! Everyone please look after me ^ ^
 This is the cake I received. It was delicious (´-`).。oO
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Nakamura Reno
https://blog.nogizaka46.com/reno.nakamura/2021/09/063243.php
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aja154ever · 7 years
Text
GRANRODEO LIVE TOUR 2017 Pierrot Dancin’ Zepp DiverCity Tokyo - 06/09/2017
Set List
Pierrot Dancin’
TRASH CANDY
ナミダバナ
Glorious days
FAT SHAPER
君に one way love
日常ホライゾン
Fake lover’s true heart
HARD DRIVING MIDNIGHT
ボルケーノ
The Other Self
終わらぬ夢
BIG SUN
Darlin’
NO PLACE LIKE A STAGE
カナリヤ
modern strange cowboy
UNDER THE SKY
Once & Forever
Y.W.F.
Can Do
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The fan report I thought I couldn’t write - because it was so hard to put these feelings into words. But still wrote anyway, for recording purposes. As in my previous GR report (March mini live), this may not be arranged in order. And warning: a very Kiiyan-centric post.
I’m relatively new to the GR fandom, though I met Kiiyan from UtaPri and has been a fan of his singing voice from the first time I heard it. This is actually my first time to attend a GR full live so yeah feelings, feelings, and feelings. This is my 4th time to watch and hear Kiiyan sing live though, and among those, his voice was in the best condition this time.
I was already expecting Pierrot Dancin’ to be the first song plus it’s no longer my first time to hear it live anyway, but no, I was not prepared at all for Kiiyan’s voice. The acapella intro was SO devastatingly good that my heart jumped out of my chest. I wasn’t able to yell cheers and get pumped up with everyone because I stood there as if I was struck by a lightning lol. It.was.that.good. But later on as the song progressed and the music joined Kiiyan, I think the performance was a bit off - except for today’s intro, it was better the last time I heard it.
But aside from Pierrot Dancin’, I think everything else was good.
TRASH CANDY - Oh this song will always be special to me as this was the first GR song I heard live, thanks to the Bungou Stray Dogs event. And I LOVE BSD, and Kiiyan reminds me so much of Chuuya that I can see Chuuya singing this song. I love them both so so much T.T
The stretch (idk what to call it) for the last word in ナミダバナ (知れ-Shire) was magnificently done receiving cheers from the crowd.
Everyone, including the crowd, did better in FAT SHAPER and Fake lover’s true heart today than the first time. Oh both songs was a blast!
Really good vocals for HARD DRIVING MIDNIGHT OMG
The Other Self - another GR song close to my heart. 
Nanno tame ni ganbaru no mada mienai kedo Sore demo yukundarou Sore dake wa shitteiru Chii ya meiyo dake nanka janai ze Mukau saki wa mae dake de ii Shita wo muitatte jimen shika mienai Dakara ikeru toko made
(“For what purpose are we doing our best? We cannot see it yet. But even so, we will still go on, right? That’s the only thing we know. This isn’t just for status nor prestige. Where we should face is only towards what’s in front of us. If we look down, there’s nothing to see but the ground. So we should go wherever we can”)
This lyrics strikes me personally that I actually quoted it in a speech contest I joined back at school. And hearing it live straight from Kiiyan for the first time, so you expect tears from me. Yes, Kiiyan, no matter how harsh life is, I’ll do my best. Thank you.
終わらぬ夢 - THIS. THIS. THIS. This is one of my personal favorites in the latest album and have been wishing badly to hear this live. So when I learned that Kiiyan sang this in the Hokkaido tour, I said I’m gonna die when this moment comes. Now what. I just can’t describe. It was astoundingly beautiful. Kiiyan how could you sound just the same or even better live? I apologize to the people beside me but I did my best to control my overwhelming emotions. I cried more when Kiiyan sang the line, “dakara nakanaide” lol
Glorious Days and BIG SUN sound so good live! I REALLY loved the live version more than the CD. Kiiyan forgot some lyrics in BIG SUN’s chorus though. He just sang “tenenenen.” LOL KIIYAN PLEASE
Darlin’ - NO PLACE LIKE A STAGE - カナリヤ - modern strange cowboy - This was a very exhaustingly fun line-up. Crowd participation at its best. But can I just say that I love Darlin’ so much yayyyy
UNDER THE SKY - THIS. THIS. You know Kiiyan’s voice is always beautiful but slow songs like this really kill me. Again he sang this REALLY well. Oh please I’m running out of adjectives. I badly wanted to shout “I love you too” after he said the last line, “I love you.”
Once & Forever - Y.W.F. - Encore. Everyone was already so wild at this point. Can this not end please. I just want to jump and bang my head all night.
Can Do - Ending the night with this made me reflect as this is where everything for me began. I met GRANRODEO from Kuroko no Basuke, and so basically Can Do is the first GR song I learned. It will forever hold a special place in my heart. This was the last song so I just went all out yelling, jumping, singing, dancing, everything.
MC points
It’s been 3 weeks since the Hokkaido live, which was the first leg of the tour. And so they said it felt like the first day again. e-zuka said that he was nervous and joked the crowd not to look at him as he wants to focus.
e-zuka teased Kiiyan about crying in the Utapri Live. Introducing the next song, Kiiyan suddenly spoke in a cool voice that caught e-zuka’s attention. He said, “I thought you already left that good voice and the tears in Seibu Dome.” Kiiyan got embarrassed and replied that what was circulating on the internet about him was a lie (just like what he said in his tweet lol). He told us to watch the Blu-ray when it arrives, and see that he had that scene cut out! Oh tsun-tsun Kiiyan kawaii
They talked about the fact that drummer Shin has not revealed his age yet to the public, but they do know it. e-zuka hints that Shin actually came from school with a ランドセル on his back. (You know the big backpack that Japanese grade school kids use). Kiiyan laughs saying, “That’d make him Shin-chan!”
Kiiyan talked about the rainy season and the coming of summer. e-zuka then sang and played Happy birthday with his guitar. (Kiiyan’s birthday’s coming up yay!) Speaking of birthdays, they asked if anyone in the crowd was celebrating her birthday today, and there were actually some. They greeted them and thanked that they were able to come even if it’s their birthday. Incidentally, there was also a couple who was celebrating their wedding anniversary. Kiiyan also mentioned that today also happened to be Johnny Depp’s birthday. e-zuka then thanked everyone and introduced himself as Johnny Depp.
They mentioned that there are still a few tickets left for the additional Osaka tour in August. They said that they also mentioned this in the Hokkaido tour, so why are there still tickets left even after 3 weeks?? Lol I always find it cute when Kiiyan awkwardly self-promotes. Kiiyan said that on the contrary, it was apparently difficult to get tickets for the “Yama no Hi (lit. Mountain Day)” live, and he wondered why. Lol. It just happened to fall on “Taniyama no Hi (Taniyama’s Day”) and I’m so bitter I’m one of those who has not gotten one tho I got Aug 10 but still huhu
Kiiyan’s MC was interrupted at some point when sweat kept on flowing into his eyes. He then wiped his face with a towel. I just want to mention this because it was cute lol
When they announced that G7 will be held in Okinawa, Takita-san asked if he will be coming along too. Kiiyan said of course because he and e-zuka can’t do it by themselves. Takita-san said that he has actually not been to Okinawa which gained an “EEEEEHHHHHH?” from the crowd. Takita-san asked why they are making such EH reaction, “Is it that bad (that I haven’t gone to Okinawa)??”
When Kiiyan announced that there’s only one song left, he received a sad “EEEEHHH” from the crowd. Kiiyan grunted, “Why are you looking so dissatisfied? I just said that I’ll still be singing!” Lol Kiiyan we’re so satisfied but we just did not want this to end
Kiiyan said that it was so fun that they do not want the live to end. The crowd suggested to start over again. e-zuka enthusiastically responded, “Let’s do this again together!” as he pointed out that live performances are done by them and the audience together.
Photos/posts from official accounts:
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(This was posted on the 2nd day but I just want to post this photo that had me laughing on the floor Kiiyan please why)
Wew. Wew. I don’t know how many times I’ve said this but still, I’m saying this again - that Kiiyan’s singing voice is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. While listening there live, my thoughts were like, “Everyone should listen to this! It’s too unfortunate that some people do not know about Kiiyan.” No single word exists or not even an essay can suffice to describe Kiiyan’s voice. But even so, as a fan I admit that Kiiyan’s singing is actually far from perfect. I mean voice quality and singing ability are two different things. Moreover, I actually had hesitations before as it seemed that Kiiyan sounds better in CD than in live. But no, I have really affirmed today that he can sound pretty much the same whether recorded or live. Or that he can actually sound better in live. Damn I heard him sing 21 songs this time okay. Sure there were glitches at some parts of the song, but I want it raw and I’m embracing all his imperfections. I was torn between keeping my eyes open to watch him or closing my eyes so I can listen to his voice more intently. I really love watching Kiiyan as I can feel his love for music, singing, and performing. Because that’s one of the most valuable things, right? That the performer himself is having fun with what he’s doing.
It was a very, very fun and gratifying night; but more importantly it was a night full of admiration and gratitude. And I thank God again for bringing Kiiyan and GRANRODEO into my life. See you next live! ❤
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denilmo · 7 years
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Get to Know Me
I was tagged by the lovely: @meliss-cake @moonfox22 and @bouncyirwin Thank you :)
Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people however many people you want
THE LAST: 1. Drink: Tea 2. Phone call: My mom 3. Text message: Hubby 4. Song you listened to: (널 사랑하지 않아) I Don’t Love You by Urban Zakapa [also, if you love a nice ballad, good harmonies well thought out music, and a sad touch - give the song a listen *sobs*] 5. Time you cried: Listening to the above song and getting all kinds of sad fic ideas
HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Yes 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No 8. Been cheated on: Yes 9. Lost someone special: Yes 10. Been depressed: Yesssss Life story                                                                 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Once. I can hold my liquor pretty well :D
LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Purple(any shade, it’s my favorite), Cerulean, Crimson - any dark colors really
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Online 16. Fallen out of love: No 17. Laughed until you cried: Yes 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yuppers 19. Met someone who changed you: No 20. Found out who your friends are: Oh yeah... oh well, screw them. I don’t need fair weather friends. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I’m not on FB anymore
GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: When I was on there I knew everyone on my list. But fuck that site. 23. Do you have any pets: Two puppers - a German Shepard and a Laborador (a Labrador retriever and border collie mix) 24. Do you want to change your name: No 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Wasted 100 dollars on dinner that I ate at home, cold, by myself cause everyone else wanted to be a bag of dicks. 26. What time did you wake up: 6 AM 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching the end of this drama called Bad Guys - it was so good (it’s basically, use bad guys to catch the bad guys - and find  out who the real baddie is along the way).  28. Name something you can’t wait for: July 4th, KakaSaku Month and my birthday (which is the same month so yayyyy) 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a couple days ago, she came over to do laundry 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Less debt, more happiness, and maybe for my dad to be an actual presence? 31. What are you listening to right now:  CAMO - by BoA (I seriously love her new song!) 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: This freakin puppy chewing on everything even though he has toys, another dog to play with, and lots of outside time. And lots of other things, but this one was the lightest lol 34. Most visited Website: probably youtube??? I dunno
LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: Yurr, a beauty mark on my cheek and then a few dozen others scattered across 36. Mark/s: ?? Like scars? Birthmarks? 37. Childhood dream: I’ve always wanted to be an actor, singer, or writer ever since I was a wee little Deni 38. Haircolor: dark brown, almost black 39. Long or short hair: medium length, but I prefer long hair. I’m never cutting my hair short again after the last butcher ruined it  40. Do you have a crush on someone: who doesn’t 41. What do you like about yourself: my intuition I suppose. It’s saved me a lot haha 42. Piercings: only my ears - like 4 on each side 43. Bloodtype: O- 44. Nickname: Deni, KoNa, Joey 45. Relationship status: married  46. Zodiac: Leo; Rat 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show: Supernatural, Rick and Morty, Last Week Tonight, Forged in Fire
49. Tattoos: I have 6 and more planned 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: Yes, I’ve had a cyst removed from my eye 52. Hair dyed in different color: Not currently, but it’s been pretty much every color before 53. Sport: I don’t play anymore. I was on dance team and played softball.  I still dance though... so there’s that? 55. Vacation: Please?? But I want to go somewhere where people don’t typically go cause I live at the coast and we’re flooded with tourists right now 56. Pair of trainers: I love my black and purple skechers right now
MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: currently nothing, but I’m an adventurous eater in general 58. Drinking: Water. 59. I’m about to: Plot out my KakaSaku month writings 61. Waiting for:  Stupid new fridge to get delivered 62. Want: a day to myself 63. Get married: Already am 64. Career: I just want to enjoy it
WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes 67. Shorter or taller: for my S/O? Taller then. 68. Older or younger: Older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms are my weakness 71. Sensitive or loud: ??? Not sure... 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: In me? Hesitant. In someone else? Troublemaker. I like a challenge hahaha
HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: No 75. Drank hard liquor: Yes                                                                                   76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No 77. Turned someone down: Yes 78. Sex on the first date: Yes, but it was someone I’d known for a long time 79. Broken someone’s heart: Yes 80. Had your heart broken: Yes 81. Been arrested: Close, but no 82. Cried when someone died: Yes 83. Fallen for a friend: Yes
DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Depends on the situation  85. Miracles: it’s a nice sentiment, but not really 86. Love at first sight: No - even though my hubby does. He still says to this day that he knew he was going to marry me the first moment he saw me. And we’ve been together for 14 years now... so.. that’s something. 87. Santa Claus: No  88. Kiss on the first date: Sure, if it feels right.
OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: I... don’t have one. I guess hubby counts, so Luke. All my long time friends don’t talk to me much so.... *shrugs* I have to initiate every conversation or get together, and I like to feel like I’m worth it sometimes, ya know.  91. Eyecolor: I don’t discriminate lol. Eyes are beautiful 92. Favorite movie: That’s such a hard question! The Star Wars movies are up there, along with The Outsiders, House of Flying Daggers, The Boondock Saints, V for Vendetta, a long list of superhero movies... gah I love my cinematic adventures
I tag: @natanije @eeearnest @meelomango @thecalamityqueen @ohsotiny @quaintaffairs and anyone else that may want to give it a go!
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Fear 06/06/20
So I've talked about many things in my recent bogs bit have not spoken about the limitations that come with having anxiety. This, as per usual had a trigger warning for self-harm anxiety, sexual assault and also suicide mentions, oh and stalking if that's a trigger (funnnn yayyyy).
In the past, I have let my anxiety take over my life in certain parts as a child I was timid. I hated talking to others and struggled to ask for help in class. I was mostly alone and hated most the attention on me so, therefore, I didn't like my birthday because this was always all on me.
My anxiety started to get really bad in year 7 when I started the shithole school I was at, it tore my mental health apart and threw the bits in the air as they celebrated the victory of taking my life over. I thought being shy was just me being nervous. I enjoyed drama a lot I used to do productions outside of school. As soon as it hit GCSE, I did take drama I never regretted it my teacher was very helpful when it came to anxiety and stuff so she would let me do my performances in front of her. One of my friends would do the lighting and encourage me. It helped to have that connection with her that she'd look out for me.
Once college started, I gave up participating in performances. My Anxiety and panic attacks took over me. It was like a wave had suddenly hit me. I was stuck under a stream of anxiety, panic attacks and other mental illnesses. I could barely breathe its what anxiety felt like my panic attacks were very regular id have at least 5 a day just thinking about going outside because people will look at me and judge me it didn't help alongside this I had a lot of stuff to deal with my home life, My self harm my depression and other lovely wonderful traumas.
So after school, I gave up the thing I loved the most drama I used to love being able to be someone else for that hour and forget the problems I used to love the feeling of thinking of a drama piece and being able to script it and performed I loved it.
As soon as college, my anxiety as I have said already got very bad unbearable it began to be bad at the end of school. Still, I continued in drama my panic attacks were bad though before any drama lesson id go into the bathroom have a panic attack self-harm and go in with a smile like nothing had just happed my friend at the time also got anxious about performing wed help each other out with it.
Throughout college, I lost this interest in drama the thought of performing made me feel sick even going to college was enough to trigger a panic attack and Id have multiple in the daytime college first year wasn't a pleasant experience in college was the 2nd time id been sexually assaulted by the same person the college never helped it was traumatising it was on one of the days I had math tutoring my tutor was lovely. She was worried about me this whole experience knocked my anxiety far back and took the person I used to be I was a shadow of myself I still am working on getting that light again,And getting who I used to be back. I'm not going into the assault, but I will do in another blog.
 I will say as much as I hated the job sometimes it helped me a bit with my anxiety as I serve people ice cream, so I have to socialise this did help me massively.
Second-year came around the first day I went to induction was hard as by my previous college I was told id never get far. I wouldn't be able to achieve, so they offered me to do my GCSEs again. I had passed English, and the way that college treated me made me feel was awful. So I moved the morning of induction day I felt sick as frick. It wasn't pleasant. I   had few panic attacks in the quiet corner of the bus and went in it turned to out to be a good day.
I had applied for a course in level 2., but the guy I talked to said I had enough grades to get into level 3 so it was good.
I  got into level three, My anxiety was still terrible. I barely spoke to anyone in the first week or so.
I would wait until the tutor let us go and id practically run out the classroom to either the library or home depending on whether it was hometime or not I was too anxious to socialise with anyone I was like this all the time.
I never asked for help when I needed it having my learning difficulties really affected this as well, I struggled with my written work and maths but was too anxious to ask for help, and I was dyspraxic as fuck.
The third year in college was very hard as all of my friends had moved on and moved off of college or different courses. I struggled with my anxiety massively. After all of my issues, I was back in therapy and finally diagnosed with  Major depression, social anxiety disorder and generalised anxiety disorder which I was given medication for. Still, they ended up triggering a lot of panic attacks at the start but began to help after a while.
 I hid away a lot when I wasn't at college, in fact, my anxiety got so bad that in march of 2019 I gave college up didn't go to college whatsoever my anxiety had got me into a vicious circle of not going in and then getting too anxious to go back into college. So I gave up luckily, my college was still able to give me a qualification they took into account my awful mental state.
My mum has never been the nicest to me, so she didn't know when I was at college I was actually at my mate's house I couldn't face telling them I had a bad panic attack every time I thought about it so they would meet me every morning and id go to their house for the day then come back home after and act like it was college.
Around this time was the time I had an issue with a stalker he was on the bus one day and asked where a particular stop was so I being a good bean I told him, it happened to be the same one as me. That was that reasonable right? Yes, but it wasn't after some time he'd wait for me at the bus stop and 'walk with me' aka stalk me home I was clever though and went to a completely different area and said that was my house and waited till he fucked off. Then id go back I would get into shit for being late home my parents were assholes about it I didn't tell them about all of this.
This went on for about a month, and then I told my friend he encouraged me to call the police. So I did he was there for it he helped me through it. They gave me a lot of support throughout all of this, which set my anxiety off very severely, but they understood my situation.
One evening I was in my room heard a knock at the door my dad got it and called me I came down the stairs and my heart sunk it was the police, I felt so sick in my throat. And I sheepishly walked down the stairs and into the front room. They came to have a chat about all of this, and they were lovely police officers and was very understanding. I think they could see how anxious I was.
After this, I went back upstairs after trying to fight off a panic attack for the whole meeting thingy if you can call it that in the living room. I got upstairs, and my mum shouted for me. I got yelled at for having a stalker, yes I got punished because some dude decided 'hey imma stalk you now give you lifelong trauma' it's not like I was like 'HEY STALK ME' It was rough I went back into my room cut and had a panic attack and cried myself to sleep. You know that feeling when you're in your room trying not to cry too loud holding your hand on your mouth trying not to let anyone hear you well that was what it was like that night. I fell asleep with a blade in my hand crying wishing i wasn't born.
Ever since that I haven't gotten off at the stop in the centre, I always get off early I'm too scared to do otherwise and get off in the usual place.
Summer was hard for my anxiety especially with university coming closer and closer, and I didn't know what was going on with it this was making me more and more anxious my home situation wasn't too great either.
 I wanted to get out of my home. Still, I didn't know what was happening with it once I found out where I was going I didn't have time to think about it as that week I had to apply for accommodation then that weekend I was moving in the next day freshers week began. I was anxious and too scared to trust people being in a flat was hard. Still, I met some pretty amazing people in this I would not change this for anything if the other university asked me  I would turn it down anyway because I'm happy with where I am.
I feel like university has changed me yes I was very very anxious at the start and have had ups and downs with it with my mental health the trauma train making a lot of stops in my head. With the downs, I have met many amazing people. I have even gotten back into drama with doing musical theatre yes I did stop it for a bit, but that was when shit hit the fan again. My medication started up again. I loved musical theatre it helped me with my anxiety a lot. I met lots and lots of lovely human beings there. They are like a family even though I wasn't noticed much I was always quiet and to myself so I don't think I really made an impact on anyone there. Still, oh well they helped me a lot.
 But there you go another blog of Dino chats shit gets distracted goes off-topic went back onto topic and written over one thousand words. Fun.
But thank you all for reading my shitty blogs more about me complaining about how rough life can be and how shit things are. Still, they do get better I promise you this is probably the shittest blog I've done as I've kinda slightly rushed it I wanted to get it up for yall as I've been saying for ages ill upload (Not that anyone actually follows my blogs oof)But I did it anyway 
But as i usually do anxiety affects, everyone, even if you're not professionally diagnosed with it everyone gets anxiety and its okay to feel anxious don't beat yourself up for it or even hate yourself for being anxious it's alright I'm here if anyone needs me you can message me anytime love ya.
As I usually do  Here are some helplines if you are struggling with anxiety and panic or/and anxiety attacks thank you all again stay strong my human beans thanks for reading another shitty blog that is longer than it should be as I said I'm always here. If you need me inbox me (on Tumblr) or message me on anything I'm here still will be I care about you, YES YOU the person who read all of my blogs or skipped to the end if so I don't blame you, but I care, love, ya.
Here you go :
NHS Anxiety:https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/understanding-panic/
NHS mental health support: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/
Young minds on anxiety: https://youngminds.org.uk/find-help/conditions/anxiety/
Love
Dino the dyslexic blogger xx
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