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kitkatd7 · 4 years

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Kits 250 Writing Challenge

First of all, I want to thank all of my followers! I could not have done this without each and every one of you (obviously) so thank you, you mean the world to me! 💞 I honestly don’t know how I got 250 followers😶🥺💞

Also thank you to @saiyanprincessswanie @lovesmesomehiddles and @tomhiddleston-is-mischief for being there since the beginning and always supporting me! @megthemewlingquim and @buckys-other-punk thank y’all for always being so sweet and supportive! I love you all so much!❤

(now I’ll stop being the sappy person I am)

I hope y’all enjoy this!

p.s. this is my first challenge, so I hope it’s good!

Rules:

You don’t have to be following me but if you want to that would be so sweet of you

Re-blogging this post will help spread the word, but you don’t have to

Tag me ( @kitkatd7 ) and use the hashtag #kits250challenge so I can find everything!

Due date is August 15th so you have plenty of time!!

If you post your fic and I don't reblog it within 3 days please dm me! (Sometimes Tumblr does weird things and I would hate to miss a story)

Please use the read more link if your story is more than 500 words

Reader-insert or OC characters are fine

I’m accepting it all: Drabbles, One-shots, Series, Socials etc.

Write for whatever MCU character or MCU actor/actress you want

Smut/dark fics are perfectly fine but you absolutely MUST tag them appropriately. No underage characters (anything without proper tags will not be posted until it is fixed, I’m fine with reading whatever but I don’t want it to trigger anyone else accidently do thank you :)

Please send me an ask including: your username (no anon) the prompt you choose, and the character you will be writing for

Two people per prompt

Prompts below the cut

Dialogue Prompts:

1. “Don’t you understand? You were her happy ending.” (@nekoannie-chan with Steve)

2. “You forgot.”

3. “Nothing is every easy.” (@starspangledseb with Bucky)

4. “I begged you to love me.”

5. “I loved you so much I forgot what hating myself felt like.”

6. “Go to hell.”

7. “I didn’t need you to fix me! I needed you to love me while I fixed myself.” ( 8. “Where were you?” (@voila-tout with Steve)

9. “People can do worse things than kill you.” (@candy-and-writing with Steve and Bucky)

10. “I thought you loved me.”

11. “You lied to me.”

12. “If it is destroying you then it is not love.” (@barnesjamcs with Bucky)

13. “No.”

14. “One last time.” (@mojofun with Sebastian Stan)

15. “Stop that.” “Stop what?" (@angrythingstarlight with Bucky)

16. “This is a terrible idea.”

17. “I take no responsibility, and I would do it all again.”

18. “I don’t care.”

19. “Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.” (@nildesperanddum with Loki)

20. “Don’t ask.” (@fandomsandxfiles with Bucky)

21. “What I lack in common sense. I make up for in sarcasm.”

22. “Is that… cake?” (@buckybarney with Bucky)

23. “Please.”

24. “One of us is right, the other one is you.” (@chaoticpete with Bucky)

25. “Oh, you found it.” (@toastybbb with Thor)

26. “I think I’m having a feeling. How do I make it stop?”

27. “Reality is irrelevant.”

28. “Is it still considered murder if I give them/you a warning?” (@whatcouldgowrong-ohthat with Bucky)

29. “Oops?”

30. “Good friends don’t let you do stupid things alone.” (@mojofun with Chris Evans)

31. “From the bottom of my heart… what the fuck?” (@cap-n-stuff with Bucky)

32. “Liar.”

33. “You know you’re my favorite right?” “I better be.” (@mushyjellybeans with Bucky) (@sweater-daddiesdumbdork with Peter Quill)

34. “Dance with me, please?” (@starspangledseb with Bucky) (@angelinathebook with Loki)

35. “Yes.”

36. “One rose for every day I should have been with you.” (@buckybarnesdeservestheuniverse with Bucky)

37. “Don’t. Challenge. Me." (@chris-evans-indian-fanfic with Bucky Barnes and Peter Parker)

38. “Nothing ever pleases you does it?” “Nothing you do.” (@saiyanprincessswanie with Bucky)

39. “Are you… crying?”

40. “Danger is what makes it fun!” “You call this fun?!” (@buckys-other-punk with Bucky)

41. “Please don’t make me.” (@wildmoonflower with Steve)

42. “Fuck you.”

43. “What the hell did you just call me.” (@whatcouldgowrong-ohthat with Peter Parker)

44. “Leave me alone.”

45. “Hush, or they’ll hear you.” (@mr-skyline-r34 with Killer! Sebastian Stan AU)

46. “Fuck me.”

47. “Only a fool would fall in love with someone as deadly as me.”

48. “Strip.”

49. “You think you can run that pretty little mouth whenever you want.” (@msgreenverse with Quentin Beck)

50. “Now.”

51. “Mine.”

52. “So, err, I noticed your sort of naked, is that intentional or…?”

Feeling Prompts:

53. No one saw that he hated himself, far more than any hated him.

54. All she wanted was to relive that night.

55. Damn, that smile

56. Just because he learned to live without her, didn’t mean he really wanted to.

Song Prompts:

57. Don’t Give Up On Me (Andy Grammar)

58. Clocks (Coldplay) ( @xbuchananbarnes with Bucky)

59. Survivor (Destiny’s Child) (@sweet-barnes with Bucky)

60. How To Save A Life (The Fray)

61. Drown (Tyler Joseph) (@megthemewlingquim with Loki)

62. Forest (Twenty-One Pilots)

63. Leave Me Alone (NF)

64. Burning House (Cam)

Tagging some peeps who might be interested :)

@imma-new-soul @starspangledseb @remilupin22 @barnesjamcs @angelinathebook @mushyjellybeans @mr-skyline-r34 @msgreenverse @hermionesalvatore84 @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @flashflyingfish

#kits projects #kits250challenge #yay!#have fun!

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protectteamfreewill · 5 years

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Lost in the Moment

Pairing: Dean x reader

Warnings: none i guess? angst?

Word count: 4.5k

A/N: I wrote this one a while ago.. tonight I figured why the hell not read it again, edit and correct it and post it? So I hope y’all like it, if you do please leave some feedback <3

Also this is inspired by the song Lost in the moment by NF so you might wanna check that out

*I do not own any Supernatural characters and/or gifs I may use*

“Don’t try to shut me out of this. I’ve been here since day one. I’m just as much a part of this as you are,” you whisper, tears threatening to spill as you discretely study his face in the dim light of the increasing amount of shimmering stars. As if it would be the last time you could ever do so. Trying to take in the freckles dusting his nose and cheeks, the emerald green orbs that once carried so much happiness, so much hope, but now had become dull. Both the hope and happiness now brought back to an eventual spark that would light up his entire face but was usually suppressed by emotions such as grief, pain and sadness.

You had known the Winchesters ever since you were a little girl. When you were six years old a werewolf slaughtered both your parents. You would have shared the same fate, hadn’t John Winchester stepped in right when he did. You didn’t have any family to stay with, so that’s why John decided to take you in until he found someone to take care of you. Luckily he never did.

Soon after he introduced you to his two sons. Sammy being just as old as you, Dean a couple years older. At first you didn’t talk. You were timid and distrustful. But Sammy always offered you his toys and both the boys protected you like you were their sister, allowing you to slowly but surely warm up to them, developing a deep and valuable friendship. Even though you were younger, you became especially close with Dean. As you grew up the two of you happened to share the same taste in music, the same love for food, the same kind of humour.. kind of the same everything. When everyone was sleeping the two of you were often still having deep conversations about life or whatever was on both your minds. You were there after he tracked down his first monster by himself, when he got his first girlfriend. You were there every time John thought he had screwed up and he needed someone to comfort him. To tell him he was so much more than a screw-up. Likewise Dean was there the first time you killed a monster, the first time you had a date, the first time you were able to go to prom and got stood-up. He was there every time you had another nightmare about your parents or when the thoughts in your mind got too much to bear. Yes, you got along great with Sammy and you loved him like a brother, but your bond with Dean just went so much deeper. You trusted him with everything you had in you. And he trusted you.

Or at least after everything you thought he did.

You knew there was something going on. Hell you’d known there was something going on ever since the boys succeeded in killing the yellow-eyed demon. Dean had forced you to sit that one out. When both the boys returned they quickly revealed they succeeded, they killed it. Yet they were both rather vague about what exactly happened that night. But you didn’t miss the stiffness in Sammy’s posture or the concealed worry in Dean’s eyes. You had chosen not to say anything about it back then, but ever since that day you knew there was something both the brothers were keeping from you.

Right after dinner Dean had asked you to come with him for a ride in his Impala. Him asking you such thing was nothing special. The two of you often went for a ride together when you had a day off, just pointlessly driving around, singing along to your favourite songs, talking. Most of the times you ended up in your favourite diner, no matter how far away you initially were.

But as you take your usual spot besides Dean in the passenger seat today things feel different. Loaded. After he starts the engine and sets off neither him nor you says anything. The music softly plays but neither one of you sings along.

It’s like the calm before the storm.

This time you don’t end up in your favourite diner. Dean pulls over and stops the car as the sun is beginning to set. Without a word he gets out and runs around the car to open your door for you. You don’t say anything. You don’t get out or even make an attempt to do so. You look at Dean, your brows furrowed and a puzzled look written on your face.

“Would you get out, please?” he asks, begs almost.

“What are we doing here?”

“I thought we could watch the sunset together.”

“Watch the sunset? Dean-“ you exclaim, tilting your head as your eyebrows shoot up. “We never, never, watch the sunset. That’s something they do in chick flick movies, something you claim to strongly dislike,” you proclaim, making sure to emphasise the ‘never’.

“Please?”

For a short moment you scan his face. Noticing the signs of distress, of sadness, of fear, that you know damn well he’s trying to hide. But you know him better than that. You blindly know all his quirks and habits and when and why they surface. So you nod, shortly, taking his hand and allowing him to help you get out of his car. He shuts the door behind you and leads you to the front of the car, leaning against the hood and motioning for you to do the same.

Without another word the two of you view the sunset, watching the yellow ball of fire change to hues of orange, merging with the sky. You watch as the clouds turn to cotton candy, painting the sky a beautiful mix of blue and violet with the occasional pink and still a few specks of orange here and there. After a while the sun disappears behind the horizon, giving way to a thousand of stars. Only to be seen as the clouds slowly drift away.

“Are you ever going to tell me what happened the night you and Sammy killed the yellow-eyed demon?” you silently ask without taking your eyes off of the sky, not yet daring to face Dean. You weren’t sure why you were bringing it up, or why you were bringing it up at this specific moment. All you knew was that the matter, somehow and for some reason, was nagging at you. “I mean we never really talked about it.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. It happened,” he states blankly.

“Okay.. Then are you going to tell me what’s been bothering you?” you try again, getting more cautious with each word you pronounce. Sometimes, much like you, Dean doesn’t want to help. He doesn’t want to be saved, or more so he’s convinced himself he isn’t worth saving. If you didn’t approach the matter in the right manner or approached it too quickly you knew he would instantly put up his walls and there was no chance they’d be going down again anytime soon.

“It’s nothing. I’m fine,” is all he lets on.

You glance sideways, noting the way he’d crossed his arms in front of his chest, as a protective barrier to guard himself, his eyebrows knitted together and his shoulder feeling tense against yours. He is lying, if it wasn’t obvious already.

“Dean..”

“I can’t,” he snaps, turning his body to face you. “I can’t,” he then repeats, softer this time.

You fully turn around now as well, facing him. “Don’t shut me out of this,” you whisper, searching his face for more clues to guide you. To tell you what’s going on so you could help him. So you could save him. “I’ve been here for you during everything, don’t you dare shut me out of this,” you were well aware almost everyone else in your position right now would probably be mad. Mad that he didn’t trust you or hurt even. But you knew the way Dean’s mind worked. He was trying to protect you. Knowing him he had probably postponed this conversation for as long as possible so you’d have to worry about it as little as possible. But he was going to tell you, and he was going to tell you tonight. You just had to show him you cared enough so he actually could tell you.

He sighs in defiance, his shoulders lowering before he nervously licks his lips. “The.. The night we killed the yellow-eyed demon.. Sammy died,” your eyes widen in shock but you don’t dare to interfere, biting back your gasp and watching as Dean struggles to find the words. “The demon, he- he set up this game. This competition. Sam and some other kids like him, only one of them was supposed to make it out alive. When I saw Sammy, when we-, some kid stabbed him. He died.. he died in my arms,” he chokes out, now struggling to fight back tears.

“Oh my god, Dean,” you take a step forward with the intention of hugging him, but Dean takes a step back and shakes his head.

“No.”

“Dean..” you slowly say as you suddenly realize what exactly this might possibly mean. “What did you do?” he doesn’t reply, just shakes his head again. The tears coming dangerously close to spilling now.

“Did you sell your soul for him?” your eyes wide as you watch him, you can feel your heart beating in your chest, your breath stuck in your throat as your thoughts run a million miles an hour, quickly putting all the pieces together.

“I had to,” his voice cracks. “I had to look out for him. It’s my job.”

“How long have you got?”

“Tomorrow.”

“What did you just say?” you blurt out, unable to process the fact that this was his last night with you.

Often when you were reading you’d roll your eyes at the parts where the protagonist’s world was falling apart, the writer often describing it as a ‘shattering of their entire world’. You’d always seen that as bullshit, always figured the protagonist should keep their head up and figure out something to fix it. But right now that’s exactly how you felt. Your world shattered into a piercing mess of a million small pieces that you could never glue back together. You couldn’t keep your head up. There was no solution to this problem.

“I’m sorry, I-” he starts, but you’re quick to interrupt.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner. We could’ve still figured this out, find a way out of this,” you bargain, desperately trying to find a way out of the situation.

“Would you’ve understood?” he asks, looking you right in the eye as he does so.

And that comment stings more than you would like to let on. You’re hurt. Hurt he didn’t trust you. That after years of relying on each other he kept something from you. “Don’t talk to me like I don’t know what you’re feeling. I’ve been there with you back in the beginning. I know the way your mind works, I know how you put on that brave face while at the same time your thoughts are destroying you. I’ve been with you through everything so don’t you tell me I wouldn’t understand.” Dean looks away from you as soon as you start to voice your reply, focusing on something behind you, probably not wanting to hear anything you just said. “And quit looking away when I talk, I’m trying to be honest with you.”

A shuddering breath escapes his lungs. “This would’ve been so much easier if you’d just gotten mad. You should’ve yelled at me,” he murmurs with desperation in his voice.

“Dean,” you sigh, suddenly realising what he was trying to do. “What were you going to do? Tell me you’re fine, hadn’t I asked? And had I asked make sure I got mad? Make sure I’d hate you? Do you really think that was going to make any of this any easier?”

“It might’ve been easier if you just believed I was fine. Or in case you didn’t if you’d yelled at me, cursed me, gotten so mad you would hate me and didn’t even want to see me anymore. At least it would’ve been for you. And I still would’ve seen a sunset with you. Having taken in the setting sun with all its colours, but mostly having taken in the way the colours illuminated the features on your face perfectly. Having the look of complete awe on your face engraved in my memory,” he rambles, trying to explain his motives.

For a moment you’re silent, giving yourself a little bit of time to process what he just said. Though right now is not the moment to figure out what exactly he did or didn’t mean with those last two sentences. While normally your heart would’ve skipped a beat had he let on something like that. Right now you couldn’t allow yourself to let it get to your head. There were more important things to focus on right this instant.

The fact you were never going to see him again after tomorrow, for example.

“I’ve known there was something wrong ever since that night,” you slowly begin. “Telling me you’re fine would never have worked because I know you’re not. And just for the record, I am mad. I’m mad you didn’t tell me, that you didn’t think I’d understand. But no matter what, I could never- I could never hate you.”

For a while not another word is exchanged and neither one of you moves. You want to step closer, wrap your arms around him and pull him as close as your body allows you to. Make sure you memorise the feeling of his body in your arms, the sound of his heart beating against his chest echoing in your ear, the subtle smell of his cologne you can so clearly smell as you inhale. Memorise every single small detail there is about him to remember. But you’re too scared to do so. Scared he’ll step away again or even worse, scared he’ll fade right in front of your eyes.

Meanwhile it has become dark. The sun is now long gone and the few amount of stars you saw before have now been joined by an army of others. The temperature is rapidly decreasing as well, causing you to shiver since you hadn’t bothered to put on a jacket before you left. You wrap your arms around yourself in an attempt to keep yourself warm before you hesitantly speak up. “So what do we do now?”

“I don’t know, “ he shrugs. “This wasn’t exactly how I thought we’d end up so I didn’t really plan this far ahead.”

“Well what’s something you still want to do before.. before- before you know,” you nervously exclaim, unable to say whatever was awaiting him out loud.

“Can we go get a burger?”

You chuckle, unable to suppress your smile at his request. A request that was so incredibly Dean-like. So simple yet so meaningful for both of you. “Of course,” you nod.

With a single look both of you know exactly what your next destination is going to be and as on cue both of you start moving. You towards the passenger’s seat, him towards the driver’s seat. As Dean once again starts the engine, he immediately turns up the heating to warm both of you up, probably mostly you though. The radio softly starts playing one of your favourite songs and your quiet humming soon turns into a full-on sing along for you both. Before you know you’ve reached your destination, the lit neon sign of your favourite diner strongly contrasting against the dark sky.

As soon as the bell above the door marks your entrance you walk over to your favourite spot by the window. You sit down on one of the booths while Dean takes place on the other one in front of you. It doesn’t take long before a servant comes to take your order. She must be new, working one of her first shifts here, since you hadn’t seen her before. Both you and Dean knew everyone who worked there, and they knew you. Everyone always cheerfully chitchatted with you, it was one of the reasons you loved this place so much.

“What can I get you two?” the girl asks, fumbling nervously with her notepad.

“We’ll have two beers and two bacon cheeseburgers, please,” Dean orders for the both of you, smiling sympathetically at the girl.

She quickly writes down the order before returning his smile. “Coming right up.”

Just like the waitress nervously fumbled with her notepad, you fumble nervously with the paper placemat placed in front of you. A bunch of facts explaining why this diner is the best in the area and a few suggested dishes to try printed on there. You don’t even bother to read them anymore, you know them all by heart. The diner was founded in 1955, it almost went bankrupt until they introduced the magic burger that introduced a new public and saved the company. The secret of the burger was garlic, one of the waitresses once told you in passing. You still didn’t know whether she was joking or not. The place is hospitable and clean and child-friendly. A few suggested dishes are the magic burger, of course, the waffles and the grilled cheese sandwich. Dean and you had tried every dish they ever served, but both of you stuck with the bacon cheeseburger.

“What’s going to happen? Do we still have tomorrow or is it over once the clock strikes twelve?” you ask with a small voice, emotion seeping through. It’s not like hiding them will change anything anymore, so why bother?

“I don’t know,” he mumbles, his eyes casting down. “She didn’t say.”

Your head suddenly jerks up as the thought of Sammy enters your mind. Surely he must’ve known, but if these were his last couple of hours here on earth, wouldn’t they want to spend it together? “Why didn’t you stay with Sammy tonight? I can imagine the two of you would want to have a proper goodbye,” you ask him, voicing the concerns running through your head.

“We did, yesterday. He’s known about this for a year and he has done everything to find a way out of this. For his sake I hope now he’s finally accepted there’s no coming back from this.”

“So you’re really just gone after tonight, huh?” you whisper, feeling as if the situation and its consequences are finally catching up with you. As if you’d been numb to it before, but suddenly it found your Achilles heel and took its chances, fully charging at you. Tears are welling up, threatening to spill.

“Hush, baby, my dolly, I pray you don't cry,

And I'll give you some bread, and some milk by-and-by;

Or perhaps you like custard, or, maybe, a tart,

Then to either you're welcome, with all my heart,” Dean sings quietly, making sure you’re the only one who can hear him. And despite the events that are eagerly waiting to go down you smile at the recognition of the nursery song Dean always sang for you when going to bed or after you had a nightmare. He’d always quietly mumble it for you, calming you down and allowing you to fall into a peaceful slumber. Sometimes, much like right now, he’d sing it when you were sad. All those years ago your problems were so much smaller. You didn’t have to worry about hell or demon deals. People often told you to enjoy the simplicity you lived in, or at least the simplicity children your age were supposed to live in. They told you that time flies. At the time you didn’t know what it meant, now you had to admit they’d been right.

“I can’t believe you still remember that,” you bring out, still smiling.

“Of course,” he smiles back. “I could never forget it, I sang it for you the first time you had a nightmare and it stuck with me ever since. I also remember how you tried wearing lipstick when you were only ten because you wanted people to think you were just as old as me,” he grins, the memory still seared into his brain.

Your embarrassment paints your neck and cheeks a dark shade of red and you hide your head in your hands, as if trying to hide yourself from the memory. “Stop it!” you bring out while trying to supress the chuckle in your voice.

“Or,” he continues. “how you refused to wear anything that was coloured red, just because..”

“Alright I’ve got two beers and two bacon cheeseburgers for you guys,” the waitress announces, interrupting Dean’s little trip down memory lane. She places the two beer bottles and the plates she’d skilfully carried on the table. “Enjoy your meal,” she smiles before turning around and returning to her place behind the bar. You smile at her before she leaves, your face still showing some degree of redness.

Both you and Dean immediately dive into your food, devouring the burger and the fries that came along with it, washing it down with swigs of beer.

“That was good,” you exhale afterwards, Dean nodding in agreement.

“I’m gonna go pay,” he tells you as he slides out of the booth. As you take a look at the clock you realise why; it’s coming dangerously close to midnight., and neither one of you knows what that’s going to bring. A sudden fear evolves itself deep inside of you. You’d known Dean for almost as long as you remember. You barely had any memories he wasn’t in. And after tomorrow he wasn’t going to be there anymore. The memory of him would slowly fade until you couldn’t even remember the sound of his voice anymore.

As Dean returns you quickly push it down though, not wanting to ruin his possible last moments. He deserves better than that. “Let’s go,” he smiles, holding his hand out for you. But you can’t help but notice the fear that’s reflecting in his eyes.

“Yup,” you simply reply, taking his hand and leaving the diner together. One last time.

A cold breeze hits you in the face the moment you step outside, but you ignore it. Together you walk towards Dean’s car and for the second time tonight the both of you lean down against the hood. This time facing each other right away.

“Look,” he starts. “I don’t know how much time we have left, but I want to tell you the same thing I told Sammy; “stop looking for a way to get me out of this. There isn’t. I made my decision and I don’t want Sammy nor you spending the rest of your lives trying to get me out of it. Let me go.”

You smile, sadly. “That might’ve worked for Sammy, but I think we both know I’m never really going to give up on you,” you whisper, fighting to hold back the tears.

“I know, it was worth a try though,” he nods, a chuckle escaping from between his lips. But it sounds strangled, broken. “There’s just one more thing I’d like to do.”

“Name it,” you answer.

Before you know what is happening he grabs your face and his lips crash against yours. The warmth of his lips seem to warm you to the bone and the world falls away as you completely lose yourself in the moment. He kisses you slow and soft, comforting you in ways that words never could, while caressing your cheek with his thumbs your breaths mingle. You run your fingers through his hair and down his spine, pulling him closer, wanting to remove all space there’s left between the two of you.

And just as sudden as he pressed his lips against yours, he pulls away again. “Do you hear that?” he asks, still holding your face in his hands.

You shake your head. “No, Dean, hear what?” But he doesn’t reply. “Dean?”

His breath hitches in his throat. As he looks at you there’s nothing but pure terror written all over his face. “Close your eyes,” is all he says.

Desperately you try to understand, try to figure out what he is trying to say, but you have no idea what is going on. “What, why?”

“Just close your eyes,” he begs. Whispering one last word as you refuse to listen. “Hellhounds,” he brings out right before he’s ripped away from you.

As you squeeze your eyes shut, feel his hands being ripped away from your body, you hear his body being dragged away. You hear his painful screams piercing through the air right before it goes dead silent.

Hesitantly you open your eyes, being met with nothing but the darkness of the night, and you can feel the warmth leave your body. There’s nothing but the tingling in your lips and the searing pain in your soul that reminds you of the man that had stood in front of you just a second ago. And you don’t dare moving. Terrified it’ll erase the last traces he left on your body, terrified it’ll leave you with an even bigger hole than when you lost your parents.

After a while, whether it be ten minutes or an hour, you gather enough strength to move without crashing down on the pavement right away. That’s also when you notice the Impala still standing there, the lacquered black car looks duller than before, as if it knows it has just lost its beloved owner and wants to show its grief. As if on autopilot you walk towards the passenger seat, only realising that’s not your place anymore when you find yourself tugging at the door handle. The keys Dean gave you somewhere during your meal at the diner suddenly burn in your back pocket and hesitantly you walk towards the driver’s seat, unlocking the car.

Dean had only allowed you to take place on the driver’s seat one time before. You must’ve been seventeen and he was supposed to teach you how to drive. You almost crashed against a bunch of garbage cans and Dean never allowed you up there anymore. Too scared you’d wreck his beautiful car. Even after Bobby taught you how to drive a few years later, you had forever lost your right. Tonight that had changed though.

You weren’t sure you were going to find Sammy if you went back to the motel. Maybe he’d left. Unable to stand Dean’s unmade bed, his empty beer bottles or his half-packed bag any longer, or maybe just honouring his last wish and moving on with his life.

As you slide down on the driver’s seat, as the coldness of the leather seeps through the material of your pants and as you place your hands on the cold steering wheel, on the place his hands used to lie, you finally allow your first tears to fall.

#dean winchester #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester one shot #dean winchester angst #SPN #supernatural #supernatural one shot #angst

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sole-cuore-amore-e-droga · 5 years

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Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Australia to Eurovision with the Statue of Liberty's opera number

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It took 4 years for Australia to figure out one day, “you know what would improve our chances with the viewing audience that’s tired of bland and easily produced pop? That’s right, a GODDAMN NATIONAL FINAL!!!! anyone here agreeing, mates? ehhh???”. And so we finally had an Australia Decides - the whateverth of many of the NFs to be added to the NF family. Where only the best of the best Australian acts compete for their title to get to Eurovision. The last Australian NFs I’ve seen before then were fan-made NFs for online Eurovision fan contests. And they were fun, but now they’re not as fun anymore as a real life-sized counterpart, with shorter than 1 week voting periods, real live performances of totally new songs, all on the same arena, and actual hosts instead of the short but clear instructions of “here are the songs, here are the voting details”. Good times.

Rather exciting the show was, full of anything AND everything. And what did it birth? The first ever totally white Australian participant (nothing wrong with it, it’s just that other 4 ones were of more exciting descents than European), Kate Miller-Heidke. The surprisingly older-than-she-looks operatic blonde with a sizeable career to boot, with nice songs on her overall repertoir (and a chubby lil bun of a son :3). I admit I knew of her from one of those mentioned online fan contests, at the very time one of her songs “Sarah” was popular in a fan circle of like 150-200 people. Since then I heard two more of her songs, so when she (and Sheppard) were announced as part of the Australia Decides lineup, I was excited because of the “automatic name recognition alert!!!” triggering in my head. And I hoped her song is as exciting.

But then I did listen to “Zero Gravity”. And I got confused.

But then again, it’s Kate. I had this moment of realisation that I actually am not a huge fan of her music overall? Just a couple of songs here and there, and probably that’s all. The other ones that I listened to that aren’t those ‘couple of songs’ are nice, but something that I’d only listen to volutarily to torture my inner state of mind.

For me the problem probably arises from the fact that I don’t feel the song’s structure and a lot of things feel like unfinished (because it takes a humongously long time between songlines ksksksk). But at the same time it might as well be the point of the song?? As far as I remember this is very much so about mental issues and how is one trying to break free off them while entering the “ze-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-eeeeeee-ro gra-a-a-a-a-a-aaaaaaa-vity”, and the “stone in shoe” thing (don’t you hate it when you find tiny-ass pebbles in your shoes, guys? cuz I do!!! let alone finding bigger sized ones like Kate just did!!!). Whatever’s keeping her down this time. But for some reason I don’t quite think that Eurovision has really been graced with great mental issue songs - Malta last year was just a cheap pop song stuck in the early 2010s with its dubstep sound; Romania last year was just an average teen sitcom background rock song, and it’s a shame about it being all that forgotten by others because I just happened to like it more and I feel for all those that feel depressed about their own existence and feel like saying “goodbye cruel world, I’ll see you never again anymore”. It feels odd not wanting to break the taboo before I become an animal or going where there’s zero gravity with these songs, yanno what I mean??

BUT! I didn’t say I hate that song. It has its qualities. Like, the verses are pretty decent, it’s just that the chorus feels completely detaching from my interest, which baffles me because I wanna like it more. We have these standard 00s mild-synthpop-like choruses and Kate’s blissful singing into your ear (ffs she starts her verses with “hey you” with THAT vocal sound. You don’t feel like turning up to her to ask “yes”??) on top of them, and then the chorus buildup feels like a helium balloon ride I wanna be let go of already. Alright, well, the 1st post-chorus doesn’t sound TOO bad... but the 2nd one, I’m not really a huge fan of it when she vocally warms up and then SPITS the opera vocals at me scarily. I’m spooked out. And then the last minute of the song is spent with sounding like it’s taken from a cheap-rent theatre play (I say ‘cheap’ because nothing here aside Kate’s voice sounds like OTT theatrical musicals to me), now with some more of delightful opera voice and the backings reminding us all that ain’t nothin’ holdin’ Kate down no’ mo’, ayy! The ending of the song is just so painfully obviously theatrical though, where all the horns rise up and let out a final blast with the final high vocal note like a flat silver-painted chocolate star on top of a dazzling white cinnamon-lemon cake with white glaze and some red berries sprinkled around... I guess I felt excited, I guess I felt like I was carried through a musical journey, but I still ended up completely unsatisfied because there were long pauses in the song that didn’t reasonate with me all that much. My soul really has something against songs that only have two verses and two choruses and that sound like they have potential but are overally unappealing (like me not getting over at how silly “Meggyfa” from A Dal 2018 sounds with all those horsefly and DAW-produced cartooney violins thrown in the song... it should have sounded like a fairytale about a king’s cherry tree, not a peasant’s made-up hallucination of an old and dried-out cherry bush :V). There shall be the day I overcome that obstacle, but for now, I’ll keep it be...

All in all, a competently composed, but at the same time, estrangedly composed song, performed by a classical fairy princess dressed in white and decorated by glitter (and her complementary backings that are cheerful enough sounding for a pop and/or tune). And the entry shines bright, too. As much as Kate’s beautiful teeth and shiny red lips - a perfect combo that could potentially scare an audience for being too perfect.

Approval factor: I’m on a fence with this one, yet again, but my views are leanings toward a mild non-approval. Though objectively I do approve this because it’s finally not a safe-ass entry that is just there to keep Australia afloat on Eurovision, but subjectively... it will take me several lightyears just to get over that severely cheap-ish chorus.

Follow-up factor: Again, it follows up the trail of Australia’s in Eurovision nicely, being so far something totally and completely unexpected from the nation’s, and something so daring in Eurovision overall (we got plain opera songs in the past, now here’s a more popera-musical crossover song that is not anyhow as schlagertastic as that one entry performed by Greta Thunberg’s mom 10 years ago!). A step in the right direction, even if it means that I am personally still inner screaming about it, lol.

Qualification factor: it’s perfectly capable of floating through a couple of places in the territory of both a safe qualification comfort and a hellish danger zone. I’ll leave it up for juries and televotes to judge it for themselves, but for me personally? If that pink foggy cloud from Greece underperforms with no chances to come back into a better shape, I think it could lend a spot to the Oz’s even-foggier thundercloud of joy, and it could even climb up higher if people aren’t overly charmed by the other game changers of the semifinal (like Iceland and Portugal, especially Portugal). But as of now, I guess I’m indifferent anyway the wind blows, and literally anything can happen. It’s truly one of those “anything can happen” songs, I assure you 100%, and it shall be fine, and any result for it will be perceived as spectacular, imo.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

FYI, if y’all want, you can rewitness the whole show here (before SBS sues off that for copyright reasons), but let me guide you through some of my personal highlights:

• If you guys that ever read these reviews know of any other Sheppard song than “Geronimo” then it’s okay, and it’s also okay if you don’t (and if you even haven’t heard of “Geronimo”)! I’m just saying that these guys were the first ever exciting sight in the Australia Decides lineup (along with KMH of course), and now, I’m not saying I wanted something that could top over the hit song of these guys in my personal opinion (well their actual NF song, “On My Way”, might be slightly on the path of suffering from the “it’s-no-hit-song-so-it’s-automatically-disappointing”-itis, which is incredibly contagious, especially for all the one hit wonders out there (and not only), but despite people accusing it of not being “Geronimo” here and there, I sat down, listened and simply liked it), I am just saying to stop throwing shit at the artist just because their management is worse than their music. Yeah! Remember the time it was uncovered that Sheppard is funded by their parents’ business being torturous? There are Papua New Guinean asylum seekers locked away in a faraway island where all kinds of shit happens - abuse, torture, rape... and the parent Sheppard is responsible for all this (well actually he’s only 1/3 of the responsible men), and he makes profit off it. That’s disgusting to the max, I know, and by no means I support this pasttime, but I really hope that the Sheppard kids don’t support the way their parents get the money to fund their hopes and dreams, otherwise... well anti-stans you were right. I might as well begin regretting stanning Sheppard now but for a dumb bitch I am there always exist a shard from a broken hope I can hang on to just in case things would get better. Just like the time when Kesha broke free from the Ke$ha image at the time it came out to light that her former producer, Dr. Luke, is THAT kind of guy. Anyway, if there are people down here that sometimes come for the music and not for the backstory, I’ll leave a video for Sheppard’s entry, which wouldn’t have come onto Australia Decides if not for the Sheppard fans (that they still had before the mentioned incident?) that encouraged them to go ^_^ Is your love for this song on fire? (probably not but I still am asking b/c fuck it)

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• I know what you’re thinking, so I’ll include Electric Fields as well. And with a good enough cause because I liked their song too, just like many people did. “2000 and Whatever” mixes electronic music with a relatable message for all the millenials out there who don’t want to “live forever”, Aboriginal sounds and cool inclusion of new and unheard-in-Eurovision-before language(s?) and all in all would have definitely made a more kickass Australian entry for this year. And what’s the best about it? They didn’t need to have a big fanbase like Sheppard’s or a relatively middle-sized abroad but big inside like Kate’s. They did THAT by being incredibly fun and unique and gained both national AND international fans with their one year Australia Decides stint, and now the fans are hopeful to see this duo come out on another Australia Decides in the future. I salute their newborn fanbase for being so passionate and hopeful already. Oh, and of course, they got a meme out of their way at the same time without even needing to win (which wouldn’t have happened if not for SBS’s care to translate different languages than their own):

casually describing the jury chatter on National Finals like

But my favourite moment of the performance that they had is when the lead singstress let go of her headscarf to show off her beautiful long dreads to the viewing audience <3333

• For those combined fans of both ESC and RuPaul’s Drag Race, Australia fished out a special surprise with Courtney Act (what, you thought all drag race queens have had to be American of origin?!) being on the lineup as well! Together with several other dancers, she presented “Fight for Love” (not to be confused with Dami Im’s “Fighting for Love”) on the Gold Coast stage - just your typical soft club banger with tight red dressing reminiscent of Lady Gaga’s eccentric costume era and Courtney’s special stare:

I HAVE SPECIAL EYES

(what’s more hilolololarious is that Logo, who aired BOTH ESC AND RDP, has not gotten a renewed contract for Eurovision this year, which means that if Courtney DID win, the Muricans would not be able to see a drag alum they might have loved at some point! As they already cannot broadcast Lady Madge, the only American performing on show, flashing her covered-up sponge pudding. A devastation <3)

• Hey, let’s not underestimate the other acts, too! There were 6 others that I didn’t mention, and among them my favourites were Ella Hooper (as during her performance I felt like I was watching that Shania Twain concert DVD again with her outfit being as outstanding as in this video) and Alfie Arcuri (one of the other names I heard before just like Kate and Sheppard - it’s a homosexual guy that feels confident enough with his sexuality by turning his struggles to songs!), and Leea Nanos (a 16 year old girlie who, like Electric Fields, don’t really have fans, but she came here to have a good time and performed confidently enough for her age! *clap* *clap*) wasn’t so bad, either.

• Australia Decides as a whole is a thing to remember. Not too annoying hosts? Check. Beautiful introductionary postcards (involving the NF guys going around to enjoy nature, talking some more about themselves and a specific soundshape for each act at the end of each postcards)? Check. (Fun) Interviews with the contestants and interval acts?? Yeah, you can check that as well. Behind-the-scenes get-togethers of every one of the participants and them getting to partake in a fun questionnaire?? Wow, they even have that!!! All in all I admired this slick production, the smooth flow and the nice details that went into this whole event. Thumbs up on that one! First organisational pancake did not burn up.

• Then again, every single one of those nice ones have to have an ugly interval act hidden somewhere, like, the German drag-like caricature that appeared on AGT not so long ago, Hans from Adelaide, who did a Eurovision medley and included “Ooh Aah (Just a Little Bit)” in it as well... needless to say, the fandom didn’t approve of that, and obviously the Måns's version from EYD was better.

• Also also, what do other NFs don’t do that Australia Decides just did this year??? A REJECTED ENTRIES COMPILATION SHOWCASE!!! Damn straight! When was the last time you’ve seen one of these? At least SOME recognition given for those songs that were close enough but the NF compilers found much better songs than those ones so those other ones just didn’t get their chance... amazing considering I believe I’ve never seen a thing like that before. There indeed were some rejected NF songs that are marginably better than some from the actual list. And thanks to Australia Decides showing them, they’ll never be any other NFs rejects ever again, unlike the Melodifestivalen/DMGP/etc. ones. Yeehaw. Maybe this serves as a ladder of hope for those rejectees to get up and try again so we’ll see them in another edition?

• Let’s not forget Kate herself. She did come down at us as the Australian version of Statue of Liberty (as the title of this write-up suggests, youhouuuuu) that looks more like someone’s unused Miss Universe national costume, but still very goddamn dazzling. And the rando flying above her presence that couldn’t be “holding [her] down”. What would have been any other way to present a mental issues awareness song than that. Majestic. I’d printscreen her dress for this one in full motion but I’d rather put down this picture with a more interesting shirt choice walking nearby the Australian Eurovision songstress while she was getting down to be ready for her winner’s reprise. I’m sure you’ll be able to see the dress in this too!

(if only I could use some extra fries in life!! =( )

All in all, I applaud the Down Under-ners for a succesful kickstart in the NF business, and I really hope SBS invests in this more than just calling up DNA Productions again to find themselves a starlet from an old Australian Idol/X Factor season that’s of different descent as always and slap a pop tune onto their discography with which they gotta go with to ESC. Would be incredigood. Thanks.

I’ll wrap this cumbersome beauty up by wishing the whimsical beauty Kate all the best in Tel Aviv! Hope your infected foot did not ruin the fun for you, dear sis.

#eurovision 2019 #tel aviv 2019 reviews #australia 2019 #kate miller-heidke #zero gravity #australia

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themoodyafrican · 4 years

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Welcome Tumblr peeps!

This is the Moody African! I’ve had a tumblr for years but this page is gonna be so cool! Future posts that I will be making on this page will be on a variety of topics:

My life journey will pretty much be the bulk of this. And I also have a YouTube channel that I have called the moody African. Y’all can subscribe for future videos that I will be doing.

Study with me: so I am currently a senior in college. My major is Linguistics. I am also pre-med and aspire to be a medical doctor. So I’m doing to (hopefully successfully) document my journey.

Christian tings: I am a proud Christian and I love the Lord and I will not deny my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I’m not a perfect Christian at all and I honestly suck at reading the Bible and studying it. I want to get better at it for my benefit. I hope that through these study with me videos, I can improve my relationship with Jesus and also help inspire someone to do the same.

Connecting everyday issues with the Word (Bible): so I always like to access something from many different viewpoints. I want to see issues that are going on and somehow connect it to the Bible and also think about how I should respond.

Neurofibromatosis awareness: I was diagnosed with NF and there are not a lot of youtubers out there who actively spread awareness about it. I would truly love for more people to know about it and to help donate to organizations that fund for research for a cure.

So to all who will read this, stay tuned! And don’t drag me ohh

This might be all of what I plan on doing.

#first post #tumblr #youtube #biblestudy #christianity #medicine #pre med #studying #studywithme #neurofibromatosis #small blog

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borisbubbles · 5 years

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ESC2019 Preshow #02

02. ICELAND Hatari - “Hatrið mun sigra” SemiFinal 1, #13

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The general sentiment towards Hatari appears to be polarized and I think this is a good development: Opinions on Hatari should never come without controversy! “Hatrið mun sigra” is loud and aggressive and taking an utter piss at the contest. 😍

Even I wasn’t fully onboard for a while. Mind, I have always liked “Hatrið mun sigra”, but it was a default favourite, since Friðrik and Hera were both terrible (seriously, how does one, let alone TWO, downgrade from Iconic Europulp to boring (and in Hera’s case, thin)!!! GTFO out, NOW!!!) and it being Iceland, I had resigned myself that one of them would win. Once I saw the live performance at the finale, my Hatari love hit full throttle and there rest is herstory.

ENTRY ANALYSIS

OOOOOOBVIOUSLY I love Hatari um HELLO??? Like, industrial punk BDSM extravanganza with a *KILLER* key change 😍 by nihilistic men who wander around aimlessly in mullets and blue tracksuits 😍 whose main goal is to bring forth of the end of capitalism and plunge the world into an utter dystopia 😍

“Hatrið mun sigra” is a SPECTACLE. The visuals, the yelling, the key change (Klemens’s voice is E V E R Y T H I N G), the casually manhandling each other in front of thousands of people <3 Naturally, a lot of people do not like it but I mean, weakness won’t be tolerated. Capitalism and Hatred won’t be defeated by tossing flowers at them!!!

Of course Hatari are the subject of many a misconception. “God they’re so fake, it’s a constructed persona!!” well, d’uh? What did you expect? That they spend their daily lives manhandling each other, dressed up in leather & chains or monotonously droning about how supermarkets are direct portals into hell? “They will ruin the integrity of the music contest and make everything political again” wait, WHAT??? A) of all when is Eurovision NOT fucking political, and B) of all, their *song* is the protest, you fucking moron. There is no better way of protesting than to get those you protest AGAINST to cheer for you!!! (Better than harassing people on Social Media, take note Roger Waters).

“Hatrið mun sigra” is not spreading hatred, it is the harbinger of what will happen IF hate is spread:

HATRED WILL WIN

AS LOVE DIES,

AND JOY ENDS,

FOR THEY ARE ILLUSIONS,

A HOPELESS PIPE DREAM

HATRED SHALL PREVAIL!!!

And I mean why not, in this post-brexit, post-trump, post-bolsonaro, post-isil dystopia of a world!! It’s a relevant message!!! Their intent is good, back up off them!!!

This is normally where I would place and NF corner, but I’m going to going to bother lmfao. Let me instead take you on the ~Entire Hatari Experience~ train, which matches (and trancends) the song in epicness. Every Hatari interview we get is a delight in its own right, so I’ll spend my bandwith on those instead. Challenging Bibi to a wrestling match, winner gets to set up a BDSM colony in the loser’s land 😍 Irritating the shit of their fellow Söngvakeppnin finalists by doing hammy shit like this

(Annoying Hera SO much she cannot resist mockingthem <3)

Or like the time they spent an entire VT matter-of-factly dismantling everything wrong with western society over an indifferent slice of cake (featuring my future ex husband (um he doesn’t know it yet (well he does *now* I guess)) Fannar Sveinsson)

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Or fuck it, just this entire fucking interview lmfao

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“We feel that the echoes of populism are growing ever more loudly” lmfao . Every Hatari moment is like watching a satiral sitcom unfold before our very eyes. They’re full of shit. They know it, you know it, I know it. And nobody (of relevance) gives a fuck that they are <3 It’s important to note here that Hatari have genuine respect for Eurovision though, unlike a certain someone. Hatari aren’t here to destroy Eurovision, but to enrichen it with their delightfully abrasive presence. I guess at the end of the day, Love truly is Forever And Everyone, y’all.

Qualification Odds: Guaranteed Qualifier.

The curse will finally be broken <3 I mean, it’s well deserved too, Hatari are probably the best Icelandic entrant since Yohanna (or since ‘Never Forget’if you purely count the studio versions of songs).

But first, a digression :o

Nomally, the fan community is divisible into distinct fanbases. You have:

- The Shippers who spin entire erotic fanfics about their fave contestants in the darkest dungeons of the innerwebs,

- The Fangirls who flick their beans at any conventionally attractive male,

- The Basics who love their bangers pre-packaged and ready-made

- The Fraus/Husbando’s for whom Eurovision is a family experience,

- The Eurosnobs who claim to watch Eurovision for music but are secretly the most shallow of them all

- The Casuals who tune in on Saturday night out of habit, mostly because their parents are Fraus

- The Silent Introverts, the young people who do not comment but lurk by the sidelines reading any articile they can get their hands on

- The Geriatrics, basically the older version of the introverts (usually due to technological impairment, rather than shyiness)

- The Junkies who live and breather Eurovision and talk about it hours on end (guess which demograph I fit in)

Bringing this up because most entries can be shoehorned into 2-4 demographs that will love it and usually one demograph which will not care about it.

Now, back on track with the actual analysis:

Hatari aren’t like most entries because because they both appeal and turn off members of every demograph, which I think is a fantastic quality in a Eurovision song. It’s good to be polarizing, because it creates an intense following that will result in a lot of televotes (and haters are irrelevant because you cannot vote against entries you hate).

I’ve mentioned in Duncan’s write-up that I’m not ~entirely~ feeling him as the winner and now I can reveal why: I have always had Hatari as my predicted winner, ever since they won Söngvakeppinin. Those who say they can’t are closing their eyes to the truth. Hatari follow the recent winners trend the closest of any entrant in this year: strong concept, stronger execution, colourful personalities, memorable gimmick and quickly turning in the social media darling of the season: just like every winner from Loreen onwards has. They can still get screwed out of the win by juries, but... Jamala and Netta aren’t exactly jury-friiendly entries and they were top 3 anyway? lol. Hatari *are* the natural favourite to win ESC. Mark my words, sheeple. Hatred SHALL prevail.

Projected placement: 1st-3rd in the semifinal. When they qualify, Hatari will finish 1st-6th CONGRATZ TO THE WINNER OF MY PRESHOW RANKING

Dropping the entry later today~

Link to the masterpost

#Eurovision #Eurovision 2019 #ESC2019 #Eurovision Song Contest #Hatari #Hatrið mun sigra

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