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lilyevanstan1325 · 2 months

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❤️ Built For This World ❤️

Chapter 12

The sun slowly lowers behind the hills, painting the sky in shades of gold and orange.

After Rick's heartbreaking words for Amy, I took refuge in a corner of the farm, away from curious eyes and the dangers that lurk outside.

My mind is a whirlwind of thoughts, and the setting sun only seems to amplify them.

Amy's death.

The memory of the young girl, with her wide eyes and pale face, haunts me.

She has seen too much, she has experienced too little.

I continually wonder what could have happened, what brought that walker so close to all of us.

And now I only feel fear, a fear that tightens my heart.

The fear of protecting.

It's a mixed feeling.

On one hand, I want to keep the people I love safe, but on the other, I know that every protective gesture carries a risk.

Amy's death is proof of this.

We tried to protect ourselves, all of us, relentlessly.

Nevertheless.

And then there's him in my thoughts.

Always.

As much as I want to ignore it, he is there.

Negan.

The man I loved and hated equally.

Before the apocalypse, he had been a different man.

He was good, sweet.

Now, he isn't anymore.

His soul has become darker, wilder.

I often wonder if deep down in his heart he is still him, if that sweet and altruistic man still exists, or if the horror of the world has simply transformed him.

Or maybe it transformed us both.

And then there was the pain.

The pain is always there.

The pain is linked to his name.

The pain is linked to his scent.

The pain is linked to his raspy voice.

The pain of having to run away from him, leaving him behind.

I had hoped that time and distance would dull that pain, but every night when I close my eyes, I still feel it.

I hear his voice.

I feel his caresses.

I still feel my love for him.

Every time it's like a fucking knife in my heart.

I hug my knees to my chest, looking blankly at the foliage of the trees moved by the wind, I watch the sun disappear completely behind the hills.

I know I still have a lot to face, but right now, I just want to let go of sadness and nostalgia.

The world has changed, and I with it.

I don't know if it's good or bad but I know I'm no longer the person I was.

Everything has changed in me, even the way I perceive the world.

I can no longer see its beauty.

Now every corner is covered in dark shadows, shadows that hide threats.

Nothing seems purer to me.

I would just like to go back and see the beauty.

That's all I ask.

Light footsteps behind me distract me from my thoughts.

I look over my shoulder and with his head down I see Carl come towards me.

“Hey, buddy.What's up?What are you doing, wandering around by yourself?It's starting to get dark, it's not safe” I ask trying to hide the tremor in my voice.

I lower my legs, crossing them and tapping my hand on the ground next to me, I invite the boy to keep me company.

Carl sits next to me and we are silent for a few minutes.

Small points of light begin to appear in the sky.

Another night in this broken world.

Carl sighs as he hugs his knees to his chest.

I give him a slight shove trying to catch his gaze with mine.

“Hey!You know you can talk to me” I whisper, focusing my attention on his small sad face.

I saw how he cried during Amy's funeral, he must be really upset.

His young mind, still too immature, is finding itself fighting against demons bigger than him.

No human being, let alone a child, should ever find themselves entangled in this shit.

“If… if I told you a secret could you promise not to tell my parents?”

Instinctively I would like to accept his plea but I know I can't.

His eyes, blue as the sea, focus on mine and he already knows that I won't be able to keep this promise.

The boy immediately lowers his gaze.

I dig in my mind looking for the most suitable words.

I raise my hand, bringing it to his head and taking off his father's hat.

I turning it between my fingers for a few seconds and then placing it on my head.

Carl looks at me and lets out a soft laugh.

I smile with him.

“I can't promise you but I can promise I'll help you, okay?”

My compromise seems to convince him.

He puts his hand in his pocket and after a few moments he takes out a gun which he hands to me with a trembling hand.

“I took it from Daryl's motorcycle.If he found out I took it, he'll kill me”

I turn the gun in my hands, returning my gaze to the boy.

“What are you doing with this?” I ask him trying to keep a calm tone.

I don't want to scare him or even scold him.

I just want to understand why he did it.

His behavior has been strange lately.

I saw very little of the sweet and kind little boy I was told about.

Instead, I saw a boy incite his father to kill another human being.

A boy who stole a gun for what reason only God knows.

“Amy” he whispers looking straight ahead, “It's my fault that she died”

For a moment I don't know what to answer.

Thousands of thoughts and scenarios chase each other in my mind but none of them guide me towards a plausible solution.

“Carl” I murmur, squeezing his shoulder with my hand, “Why would you say that, buddy.She got bit by a walker.Why you say…”

“I saw that walker” he interrupts me.

His eyes clouded by tears move from his hands towards the sky.

A single tear rolls down his face.

My heart breaks at his pain.

“I was gonna shoot it.It was stuck in the mud.I was…I was throwing rocks at it and stuff ” the boy sniffs, his eyes still turned to the sky, “But I was gonna do it…shoot it right in the head.And it…it got free, came after me and…I ran away” Carl sobs.

A little sob that rumbles in my head like thunder.

I wrap my arm around his slender shoulders, pressing my lips to the top of his head.

“If I had killed it, Amy would still be here” he adds, burying his face in the crook of my neck.

I drop the gun onto the grass next to me so I can hold this little man against my chest.

His tears wet my shirt but I couldn't care less.

Now my priority is his well-being.

“Carl, stop that.Please.This ain't your fault, okay?”

His arms close delicately around my hips while his back shakes with small jolts.

My right hand presses the back of his neck while the other slides delicately along his back, small caresses in an attempt to soothe his pain.

I let him vent everything he's been holding painfully inside trying to make him understand that I'm here for him.

I move away from the hug just enough to be able to look him in the eyes.

I hold his face between my hands and with the tips of my thumbs I dry the tears that continue to flow relentlessly from his sweet red eyes.

“Listen to me Carl.As long as I'm around, I always protect you.Me, your father, your mother and everyone else will always protect you.What happened is not your fault.It could have happened to anyone and I swear to you, I swear to God, that I would have given my soul to be in your place, to not see you like this now”

His lower lip trembles and new tears slide down his face, still so young and innocent.

I stand up offering him a hand inviting him to stand up too.

He gets up hesitantly.

His eyes full of remorse and fear watch me as I bend down to pick up Daryl's gun and tuck it into the waistband of my jeans.

“I'll take care of this” I reassure him, giving him back his father's hat, “Don't worry about Daryl, I promise he won't tell you anything”

Carl smiles shyly but his smile fades as soon as he notices my serious look.

“And...I won't say anything to your mom but I will talk to Rick.Maybe I could convince him to teach you how to use it so that you can protect yourself if you were in danger and none of us were there with you”

At my words Carl takes a few steps back.

He shakes his head violently from side to side.

“I will never touch a gun again”

“You know this is not possible.As much as we all want to, we can't do it.We can't hide forever, Carl.We have to fight.You have to learn to fight.The world has changed and if we don't change with it...”

But the boy seems determined and, shaking his head again, he turns his back on me and walks away, leaving me perplexed.

I don't even try to stop him.

At this moment a storm beyond my understanding is stirring in his heart and it is not up to me to help him so with a heart full of worries I go in search of Rick.

Along my way, however, I spot Daryl.

He is sitting in front of a small fire, near what has now become our tent, while he smokes a cigarette.

I approach coming up behind him, surprised that he didn't hear me.

His hunter's hearing is always alert but at this moment his mind seems not to be there.

The surprise in my eyes is replaced by horror as I see him press the flaming tip of his cigarette into the flesh of his hand.

A barely audible hiss escapes his lips.

My eyes immediately fill with tears as my hand in a completely automatic gesture moves up my thigh, caressing the flesh through the hard fabric of my jeans.

I know what he's doing.

I know what he's feeling.

With extreme delicacy I place a hand on his shoulder.

The archer flinches violently.

The now consumed cigarette slips from his fingers.

Without speaking I stand in front of him and offer him my hand.

The man observes it for a few moments then his eyes lift up to find mine only for a moment then his gaze shift to the fire and in their reflection I can read the shame he feels at having been caught in a moment of weakness.

I try to impress in my gaze all the tenderness and all the understanding that I can find in my torn heart.

Daryl looks up again.

“I don't wan’ yer pity” he spits between his teeth.

I smile sadly.

It's not my pity I'm offering him and I want him to understand that.

“Take my hand, big boy” I murmur softly.

The tremble in my voice makes him look at my hand that is still outstretched and motionless in front of him.

After moments in which he doesn't stop studying my gaze he grabs my hand and lets himself be dragged away from the fire.

In the silence of the evening I drag him towards the tent, inviting him with my gaze to enter.

“Sit down, please”

The man obeys me as if in this moment he was devoid of any will.

Trusting me blindly.

And this does nothing but fill my heart with a sweet, almost forgotten feeling.

Trying to tame the nervousness that grips my guts, I grab the lamp and lit it on, positioning it near my feet so that it can illuminate my figure well.

I feel sweat beading on my forehead and with trembling hands I reach for the button on my jeans, open it and pull down the zip.

Daryl looks at me with panic in his eyes.

His pupils move quickly from one side of the tent to the other as he slides away from me, pressing his back against the wall of the tent behind him.

I sigh deeply, gathering all the courage I have and with a fluid and decisive movement I lower my jeans to my ankles.

The archer, taken aback by my gesture, turns his head to the side, bringing a hand in front of his face.

I can see the blush spreading from his neck.

“Wha’ the hell are ya doing, woman?” he hisses through his teeth.

His tense shoulders tell me that the man is very uncomfortable but that can't stop me.

It can't stop me.

He must know.

He has to understand that I can understand him.

That I know what he was doing and why.

“Daryl” I call him softly, “Please look at me”

My plea veiled with barely held back tears makes him move his large hand from his face.

His embarrassed cheeks are a stab to my heart.

Behind his tough exterior there is a shy man full of insecurities.

Slowly the archer's eyes reopen and with equally exhausting slowness they rest on my face.

“Look at me” I repeat, lowering my hand towards my thighs.

The tip of my finger instantly feels the unevenness of the skin beneath it sending a jolt of pain to my heart.

The memory is alive again.

His gaze follows my hand and the moment his eyes fall on my bare legs his expression changes.

Now he knows.

And I have never felt so naked in my life.

But this isn't physical nudity…

Daryl is seeing my soul.

My true soul.

He is seeing a part of me that no one knows.

Nobody.

His uncertain and cautious hand rests on my thigh.

His calloused fingers move feather-light over the old scars.

Lots of little cuts that adorn my skin like stars adorn the night sky.

I stare at the tent ceiling unable to hold his gaze as the words float painfully from my lips.

“I had no other way to vent my pain.I didn't want others to see my pain.This was the only part of my body that no one could ever see”

When the nights at the Sanctuary seemed endless and the pain was too excruciating, it seemed like the only possible solution.

Sitting on my bed, with my father's knife in my hands, I cut into the flesh of my thighs.

Every cut eased the pressure on my heart.

Every cut expanded my lungs as I felt suffocated.

Every cut made me feel alive.

Every cut silenced the voices screaming in my head.

The man's strong hands grip the flesh behind my thighs, just under the curve of my ass, his face buried between them.

But as intimate as it may seem, there is nothing sexual in his gesture.

Only sweetness and pain.

His lips touch every little scar starting from my knee to my right hip, near the elastic of my underwear.

I dig my hands into his hair, in that portion of skin the contact of his lips makes me hiss in pain.

The skin is still red there.

“This is the last one.I did it after I have killed that man down town” I admit, full of shame.

It had been a while since the last time.

But the desperation for my action brought me back to falling into my old and unhealthy habits.

Daryl grabs my jeans and gently lifts them up by buttoning them and zipping them up, then standing up he crushes me in his arms.

I bury my face in his chest cradling myself in his strong grip.

His scent soothing my soul.

“I know what you're feeling.I won't pretend to believe that thanks to me you won't do it again...but...but...I want you to know that I'm here with you.I'm here for you.I always have your back, big boy”

He hugs me even more forcefully.

His face is pressed against my neck, my hair is a dark curtain in which he hides his gaze which I know for a fact is as anguished as mine the moment I saw that cigarette sizzle against the flesh of his hand.

With a disarming delicacy his hands wrap themselves in a strong but gentle grip around my cheeks and immediately my lips are on his.

I don't know if it's the right thing to do but I know for a fact that words would be superfluous at this moment.

Gently we slide towards the ground.

His lips kiss every part of my face.

Reserving reverential attention to my lips.

His tongue slides velvety between my lips, colliding with mine, intertwining in a sensual dance, which smells of tobacco, which in its silence keeps solemn promises.

I am here.

You are here.

I'm your.

I'm yours.

Together we can.

My hands move to the back of his neck, scratching his skin.

His bold fingers grip the flesh of my hips, inviting me, with the weight of his powerful body, to lie beneath him.

In its will, my legs widen, allowing his narrow and sensual hips to find space between them and then wrap around his waist, pressing my ankles against his buttocks and involuntarily pushing him towards my pulsating core.

The contact of his bulge against my most sensitive part makes me pant in ecstasy and the man full of new audacity pushes his hips against mine again, earning another obscene moan from me.

His warm, sinful lips slide towards my collarbone as he tries to move the fabric covering my breasts with his hungry teeth.

His greed makes me chuckle and, helping him in his intent, I grab the hem of my shirt, pulling it off my head, remaining in front of his eyes with only a simple black bra.

The worn fabric makes me blush thinking about how I am not such a sensual sight in the end but his words erase all my worries.

“So beautiful, ’ma sunshine” burying his face in the hollow between my breasts, his words sound almost like a growl.

He peppers my skin with sloppy kisses while his fingers creep under my back, arched with pleasure, searching for the hook of my bra.

As soon as he finds it he tugs on it trying to unhook it and when he succeeds a guttural sound scrapes his throat making me roll my eyes in ecstasy.

Always with the help of his teeth he lowers one strap and then the other without ever stopping kissing every new corner of exposed skin.

With a trembling hand, between anxiety and pleasure, I grab the bra and throw it behind me.

The look of wonder in Daryl's eyes sets me on fire.

And I swear I could cum here and now just because of the way his gaze burns on my skin.

I lift my hips looking for friction that will give me relief, trembling at the moment of the contact.

He envelops a breast in his large rough hand, massaging it delicately while he welcomes the turgid nipple between his wet and lustful lips.

His tongue swirls around it sending jolts of pure pleasure through every nerve endings in my body.

The moans rolling from my lips are now uncontrollable.

Unstoppable.

My hands move aimlessly as they wander along his broad back, curious fingers exploring unfamiliar skin that slowly find their way beneath the shirt that envelops that solid yet supple body.

Insecure but eager, I push the vest off his shoulders which slowly sags over my shirt which lies next to us.

But I feel like it's still not enough.

I want to feel the sensation of my skin against his.

With inexperienced fingers I undo the first button which slips unhindered from his buttonhole.

And I continue until my fingers graze the metal of his buckle's belt.

Daryl's mouth releases my nipple with a loud, wet pop, a long string of saliva stretching until it slides down his chin.

Raising my shoulders I push my face towards him, licking his neck, starting from the Adam's apple that bobs up and down as I pass, until I reach his chin, collecting the saliva that lies on it with a moan of sweet appreciation.

Daryl's lips capture mine again in a panting, lust-filled kiss.

Stroking the skin of his neck I can feel every vein under my fingers, veins where the blood pumps furiously.

My hands continue their way until they reach his shoulders.

When I try to slide his shirt along them the man stiffens, breaking the kiss.

His pupils are so dilated with pleasure that they almost completely swallow the blue but in all that chaos I can sense his panic.

“Hey” I whisper bringing my hands to his face again, gently caressing his tense features, “We can stop whenever you want” I whisper trying to regulate my breathing.

The archer seems conflicted.

In his eyes, in the hard lines of his jaw, something stirs.

“No.No.I just…” he murmurs almost embarrassed, “I want to take it” he whispers, shrugging his shoulders and putting the shirt back to cover them.

His request, which sounds like a small plea, shocks me but I accept it knowing that I could never do anything that could embarrass him.

I want Daryl to feel comfortable with me and I would never force him to do anything that would disturb his precarious balance.

“Alright.That's ok, babe” I smile sweetly kissing his forehead as I close a couple of buttons on his shirt covering his body.

Daryl nods once and then he kisses me again.

This time his lips are more delicate.

After exploring every cavity of my mouth he continues his way along the line of my jaw, moving down towards my neck and sucking forcefully on the delicate skin behind my ear.

“Daryl” I gasp, burying my hands in his hair.

In response he continues his sensual descent, kissing the incandescent skin of my body, in a long trail of lust that reaches my navel with unnerving slowness.

One last delicate kiss and then his eyes are back in mine, silently asking me for permission to go further.

And I cannot deny him that permission.

I nod, sinking my teeth into my bottom lip and lifting my hips to facilitate his movements.

Daryl, with a concentrated look, unbutton my jeans, sliding them down my legs.

His lips touch every millimeter of exposed skin.

His gestures are shy, full of exasperating sweetness.

I clumsily kick off my boots so he can completely slide off the jeans.

My chest rises and falls furiously as Daryl remains kneeling by my feet, completely still, staring at me.

I feel like my heart might explode in my chest.

The man I have in front of my eyes seems like a god painted by the most skilled of artists.

The dim light of the lamp creates seductive shadows on his face.

A few small scars cross it but my gaze is drawn inexorably towards the bulge in his pants.

His shaft presses angrily against the fabric of his jeans and my mouth salivates at the thought of having it inside me.

To be able to feel him.

Daryl reaching down grabs my ankle, lifting it and bringing it to his lips, leaving a delicate kiss on it.

His lips greedily travel up the calf until they reach the thigh where he dedicates all his attention to kissing every single scar.

His tongue explores everything that can be explored.

He lowers himself onto my body again, accompanying my leg with his hand and wrapping it around his hips.

And I let myself be manhandled.

His elbows rest on either side of my face as he nuzzles the tip of his nose against mine and then kisses my forehead.

“I have no idea wha’ the hell I'm doing, sunshine” he whispers, his embarrassed eyes in mine.

His hands gently move a few strands of hair away from my face.

And despite the excitement of the moment I can't help but smile sweetly at the man in front of me.

A man so strong and brave yet so lost.

“You're perfect, Daryl” I whisper, kissing him again.

With much more audacity I grab one of his hands, kissing the tip of each fingertips and then capture two of them between my lips, swirling my tongue around them.

He moans, a hollow, guttural sound rising from deep in his chest, his hips pressing into me again.

A shiver shakes him.

Now, free from my jeans, the friction of his shaft on my fold, still covered by the now soaked fabric of my panties is even more real.

Through his jeans I can perceive all of him…

And damn!

He looks so big.

With my eyes and mind in ecstasy I release his fingers from my lips and decisively guide his hand lower and lower, beyond the hem of my panties.

His hand is so warm...and so big that his palm can wrap my entire mound.

His digit slides along my wet fold and then it splits me open wetting in my arousals.

I cry out his name.

He grunts and slowly sinks his finger into me.

Moving slowly, almost fearfully, his thumb finds my clit and begins to caress it with small circular movements.

In response my hips lift to meet his too gentle movements, seeking something more.

Daryl grunts again, taking hold of my mouth and kissing me like his life depends on it.

“More, babe.Please more” I whine against his lips, rocking my hips.

The archer adds another finger, digging them both to the knuckles.

This time with more force.

His thumb moves more firmly against my little bundle of nerves, making me see little stars of white light behind my closed eyelids.

Daryl buries his face in the crook of my neck, almost roaring as his fingers pound into me forcefully, curving up and touching that magical spongy spot that can make my toes curl.

The leg around his waist tightens its grip, pressing the heel forcefully against his lower back while the other, which until a few seconds ago was resting on the hard ground, now lifts slightly in a spasm of pleasure.

I plant the sole of my foot on the ground to find a foothold to meet the almost furious push of the man's fingers which now work with precision and lust.

My fingers wrap around the wild, messy strands of his hair, pulling them forcefully from the root, his teeth sinking into the delicate skin of my neck.

Daryl is marking my skin mercilessly and the thought of the others seeing how much I belong to him pushes me even further towards the edge.

I try to stifle the scream of pleasure that erupts from my lips by burying my face in his hair.

“Please don't stop.Please.Right there, Daryl”

He lifts up, his stormy gaze passes along my face now distorted by pleasure, then moving to my breasts which continue to bounce with each thrust of his fingers and then finally stopping on my pussy.

His dilated pupils move quickly following the movement of his hand, watching as his fingers disappear inside me with each thrust, stealing one moan at a time until my throat is parched.

A pleasant sensation spreads in my lower abdomen, clouding all my logical thoughts.

My eyes roll inside my skull, closing again in a fog of pure enjoyment.

“Look at me, sunshine”

In that thick fog his voice brings me back to the surface and my eyes slowly open on his powerful figure.

The muscles of his abdomen contract as if spasms of pleasure were tearing at his very body.

His biceps swell with every movement as he furiously pumps his fingers into me.

A spark shines in his gaze and after a few moments his broad shoulders lower towards my core.

A light-as-air hand moves my panties to the side and the rustic, calloused touch of his thumb on my clit is replaced by something warmer.

More delicate.

His tongue.

The scream that rolls off my lips is impossible to stop.

“Oh fuck, babe” I moan loudly, digging my fingers into the sleeping bag beneath my body.

The archer's tongue moves divinely as if this man had done nothing else all his life.

Delicate and moist caresses that take me over the edge.

His velvety muscle moves on my clit as if he were writing his name adorning it with lustful squiggles.

And suddenly it's all too much.

His face buried between my thighs.

His fingers moving mercilessly inside me, pushing and arching, splitting me open.

Daryl eats me out like I'm the last meal of his life.

He is hungry.

Feral.

Hot, fucking hot.

My nails digging into the back of his neck pushing his face against my cunt, his skull crushed between the sweaty flesh of my thighs.

“Ya taste so fuckin’ good, sunshine”

His grunt reverberates through my body, plunging me into the abyss of pleasure.

A white heat explodes before my eyes...and the most overwhelming orgasm of my life envelops my body making me moan loudly, so loudly that Daryl lifts himself from the center of my thighs to calm my moans with his own lips.

His tongue deep in my mouth, making me savor my own pleasure, thus prolonging the last spasms of my climax and accompanying my trembling body back to reality.

Still panting and shocked, I find the strength to reopen my eyes, observing the statuesque body of the archer rise from his position only to lie down on my sweaty body.

His lips rest lightly on my breast, moving up my neck and then taking possession of my lips again.

I can feel his excitement.

A single thought echoes in my mind.

It's not enough, I want more.

The kiss becomes more and more heated.

My hands slide down his sides and then grip the buckle of his belt tightly.

“I need you” I pant against his jugular.

He groans in my hear, giving me goosebumps.

His hands reach mine, helping me to free him from the last obstacle that now separates our bodies.

Daryl puts the weight of his body on his arm so he can use his free hand to take off his jeans completely and I take the opportunity to take off my panties.

His lips find my neck, sucking on the skin and leaving yet another hickey.

The only sound in the tent is our strangled breathing.

Another moan slips from my lips as the archer positions his now naked body on top of mine.

His thick cock caresses my inner thighs and my body vibrates in anticipation.

Daryl hums against my skin.

I wrap my legs in a chokehold around his waist, my hands gripping his back finding purchase in his shirt.

I crush it between my fingers as yet another plea rolls from my lips.

“I want you, Daryl.I need you” I cry, my body shaking with pleasure.

He lets one arm slide under my head, like a pillow, while the other slides under my back, lifting me slightly.

Now the tip of his cock touches my labia and his hips slowly push towards mine.

Inches after inches his fat cock slips inside my cunt, the stretching is painfully pleasurable.

I moan, closing my eyes and pushing my head back against his hand.

He is so big I can feel my walls molding around him.

His breathing intensifies as he pushes towards me and when he bottoms out his body lowers, lying completely on mine.

I spread my legs even further to make room for him, the pain between them is palpable but the desire I have for this man manages to make me concentrate on other feelings.

The feeling of being split open by the man I love erases any pain, any discomfort.

The feeling of his heat on my bare skin.

The feeling of his warm breath on my neck.

Feeling him immersed in my body, fused together, makes my heartbeat faster between my legs.

Daryl remains still, his face buried in my neck and his shaky breath crashing against my ear.

I push my hips forward eager for him to start moving but Daryl remains still.

He seems almost paralyzed.

His back tense, the muscles in his arms contracted tightly.

Instantly all the neurons in my brain go on alert trying to figure out what's wrong.

The man's breathing becomes increasingly heavier while small spasms shake his back.

“Daryl?Everything is fine?" I breathe close to his ear.

In response he nods his head but continues to remain perfectly still.

I squirm beneath him, trying as hard as I can to catch his gaze but immediately after the hand that wraps around my back squeezes my flesh tightly.

Almost painfully.

“Could ya…could ya please stay still?” he exhales between clenched teeth.

Immediately my body freezes, my mind working quickly to make sense of his request.

“What…”

“’M fuckin’ trying to not cum like a fuckin’ teen” he interrupts me, lifting his head and pointing his wonderful blue eyes into mine.

His wild and disheveled hair, from how many times I've run my hands through it, falls messy and disheveled onto his face.

And I know I shouldn't, that I might offend him, but the laughter ringing in my chest leaves my lips before I can do anything to stop it.

My legs slip from his waist and wrap around his muscular thighs.

And no matter how hard Daryl tries to sulk, I see a little of that worry slipping from his eyes as one corner of his lips lifts, giving me that little amused grin that can make my heart stop.

With our bodies still intertwined and his masculinity buried in my body we find ourselves laughing.

Daryl brings both arms to the sides of my head, leaning on his elbows so his hands are free to caress my face.

My arms remain wrapped around his neck, my fingertips lazily stroking the hair that brushes the back of his neck.

And it is at this moment, in this very moment that everything makes sense.

The pain.

The fear.

The tears.

In the enveloping warmth of his embrace I feel the world slow down.

My hands tightening around my most precious treasure, every inch of skin against skin is a step towards a better life.

A life with fewer fears but many more hopes.

There is no need for words, my heart in sync with his speaks an older and deeper language.

It's as if time stands still, and all that matters is this moment.

My mind free from worries.

The outside world and its problems vanish.

He is my refuge, the safe harbor in which I can anchor myself.

The safe harbor that I am sure will protect me from every storm.

The peace I feel is like the silence of a windless night.

There are no storms, only calm and fears dissolve, and breathing becomes regular.

He is my shield against the chaos of the world out there.

The protection he offers me is like an impassable wall.

There is nothing that can hurt me while I am in his arms.

He is my warrior, ready to defend me from any threat.

He was built for this world.

And the joy?

Oh man, the joy.

It's like a love song in my chest.

Every heartbeat is a melody, and he is the only one who can play it.

I know this is my place, my destiny.

At this moment everything is perfect.

So, without the need for words, he holds me close to him.

And in his embrace, I find everything I have always looked for...deep love, without boundaries, without end.

The love that now shines in my eyes and presses against my lips, the words prisoner in my head...words too mature for a love that is still so immature.

Words too strong for a man still too weak for this too strong, devastating feeling of mine.

Deafening words that scream in my head, words that I swallow and put them in the depths of my soul.

Words that perhaps will never see the light of day but those words will always be intrinsic in my every gesture, in every caress, in every kiss.

In every embrace.

“That's ok, big boy.Take your time” I whisper against his lips curved in a sweet smile.

Smile that I treasure.

Smile that fills me with pride because I'm the only one who can have it.

A smile that I will jealously guard in my heart, imprinting it in the eyes of my memory.

Daryl kisses me and his hips move.

Slowly.

Gently.

By now the light in the lamp has stopped burning and the tent is shrouded in darkness, only the moonlight entering through the small cracks illuminates our bodies with silvery light.

The breaths intertwine, and my heart beats like the wings of a frightened bird.

There are just the two of us, two souls who have come closer with fear and desire.

His skin against mine is like silk, and every caress is a kiss without lips.

I feel the heat of his body burning against mine, his breathing deepening.

With each thrust the sweet melody of his breath crashes deliciously on my sweaty skin.

With each moan it is as if time expands, and each second lasts an eternity.

It's like opening a mysterious book, page after page.

I don't know what to expect, but I know that he is the key to that secret.

“Sunshine, ya're so tight.Shit!” breathes the archer with his lips pressed to my forehead.

As filthy as his words are, the sweetness and reverence with which he whispers them fills my heart with sweet devotion.

His every movement is a gift, every kiss a poem.

Daryl is capable of making me feel fragile and strong at the same time.

It's as if my body opened like a flower at the first ray of sunlight.

And he is the sun.

Confidence grows within me.

There are no more fears, just total abandonment.

When our bodies joined, it was like a love song.

There are no words, just moans and sighs.

A love song produced by our bodies.

I feel his heart beat in unison with mine through his chest pressed against mine.

Every thrust is a promise.

Daryl leverages his arms, lifting himself off my body.

His head falls forward, his chin almost touching his chest and a strangled moan between his parted lips.

Wonder pervades me.

It's like discovering a new universe.

Every sensation is amplified, every touch a miracle.

I close my eyes, digging my fingers into the firm flesh of his ass and let myself be carried away, like a leaf drifting on a river.

The archer's thrusts intensify, the sound of skin against skin echoes in my ears along with the blood rushing furiously beneath the surface.

My body is filled with tension while a sweet knot in my stomach prepares to spring.

Groaning, I raise myself on my elbows to look at the point where our bodies join.

Daryl's big, veiny cock sinks forcefully as his fingers dig into the flesh, leaving their imprint.

A couple more thrusts and I cum so hard that the scream gets stuck in my throat making me drown in my own pleasure.

My walls clenching rhythmically around him, milking him and making him suffocate in his own moans.

The archer, face flushed and his breathing ragged, pulls out in one sweet motion and grabbing his cock he strokes it a couple of times and then he cums.

Hot white ropes land on my stomach and breasts.

I fall back onto the sleeping bag in a daze without being able to take my eyes off the man kneeling between my thighs.

His muscular chest rises and falls furiously while his eyes remain glued to my body, observing me as a proud painter would observe his latest canvas.

Without speaking he runs a hand over his face, wiping the sweat with the back of his hand and then hovering over me he grabs one of his t-shirts using it to clean me up.

His hand moves with care and precision and once finished he lies down next to me, caging me in his arms.

In the silence of the night his hand lazily caresses my back, each caress leaving a trail of shivers behind it.

“Are ya cold?” he asks in a whisper, placing his lips on my forehead.

“A little bit” I reply pressing myself against his chest, breathing in the spicy scent of his skin.

Daryl grabs one of his shirts, placing it over our still naked bodies.

With my mind finally light and emptied, for the first time in time immemorial, I feel complete.

It's as if the world has found its balance.

My world has found its balance.

I found Daryl.

“Ya good?”

“Yeah”

“Sure?”

“Daryl, stop!” I giggle, propping myself up on one elbow and meeting his gaze, “You were perfect.Everything was perfect”

My smile seems to reassure him.

His blue eyes are two pools of serenity.

I scratch at his chest with my nails playing with the buttons on his shirt.

“Anyway…I came here for another reason although I'm not complaining about how things went” I chuckle making him chuckle too.

“Oh, really?” he teases me by pinching my side and making me laugh.

I fall back onto my back turning my head to the side.

Daryl lifts his arms to cross them behind his head, his relaxed gaze locked on mine.

“I have something for you” so I say, I turn my back on him and sit down to rummage through the pile of my clothes.

“Here” I say handing him his gun.

At first his confused gaze wanders between my face and the gun held in my hands, only a moment of confusion after which the man realizes.

“’S ’ma gun?”

I nod.

He sits down and grabs the weapon, in the meantime I take the opportunity to put on one of his t-shirts.

“Why do ya have it?”

“Now you have to promise me one thing”

His eyebrows raise suspiciously.

“Why?” he asks sceptically.

“Just promise me”

“Alrigh’, alrigh’!” he huffs in exasperation even though his lips are curled upwards.

I grab his brief from the floor and hand them to him and after he puts them on I sit on his lap.

His arms wrap around my hips and I kiss the tip of his nose.

“Carl took it.He asked me to give it back to you because he is afraid of you.So you won't tell him anything, okay?”

Daryl watches me curiously, I can hear the gears turning quickly in his head.

“Why?”

I sigh worried about that little guy.

“He's confused.He's just a scared little boy who wishes he were a man”

“And that's why he stole ’ma gun?”

I shake my head worriedly thinking back to the discussion I had with Carl shortly before.

“He feels guilty.Carl saw the walker who killed Amy”

Just saying the poor girl's name makes my throat tighten.

Daryl tightens his grip around my body, waiting patiently for me to pull me back together so I can tell him what happened.

“He says he saw it stuck in the mud.He wanted to shoot it but it freed itself and he, scared, ran away.Now he believes it's all his fault and that if he had shot it Amy would still be alive”

It's not his fault but ultimately I can understand him.

I would have thought the same thing too.

I would feel responsible too.

And I feel somehow responsible for all these people.

I feel compelled to protect the people who welcomed me with arms wide open.

I feel compelled to protect them not only from the outside world but also from their own pain.

It's all a fucking vicious circle of regret and guilt.

“Hey, listen ta me, ’ma little sunshine” whispers the archer, gently caressing my bare thigh, “None of us are to blame.The world has changed and the only thing we can really do is stay together.Help each other.Defend ourselves.Nothin’ more.Wha’ happened to Amy was inevitable.We can't change things.Ya can't protect everyone, Summer”

I know.

I am aware that I cannot protect everyone and yet I feel obliged to do so.

I can't fix everything but that will never stop me from trying even if it hurts me.

I sigh heartbrokenly as I rest my head against his chest, the slow, steady beat of his heart ringing in my ear like the sweetest of melodies.

His lips graze the crown of my head.

“Ya're too good for this world, sunshine”

I smile against the fabric of his shirt.

“Do you really think that?”

“Damn sure!”

I look up in search of his eyes, in search of the pity but that's not what I find.

In his gaze there is only sweetness, respect.

I grab one of his hands in mine, studying every curve, every little mark.

“You know” I murmur in a whisper, “Despite everything I do, I feel weak.I just wish I was stronger.More brave”

Daryl lets me vent by carefully observing my hands which with devotion continue to caress and venerate his large one.

“Ya're not weak.Ya already know wha’ I think ’bout ya”

I nod shyly raising my gaze, looking at this wonderful man from under my eyelashes.

His gaze is clear, relaxed and sincere.

All his defenses are down.

All his feelings exposed to me.

A shiver runs down my spine as his hand slowly moves down until it rests on my bare ass.

This time a mischievous smile curves his lips.

“No panties?”

I laugh throwing my head back

“Don't get any strange ideas, big boy.I'm just passing through” I announce, getting up from his lap and starting to pick up all my clothes scattered on the floor.

The archer's gaze doesn't let go of me even for a moment as I try to get dressed and not keep thinking about what just happened.

I sit next to him putting my boots on.

“I need to find Rick.I have to talk to him about Carl.I don't...”

“’M not screwing around with ya.Ya know, righ’?”

His words take me by surprise as I lace up my boots.

When I look for his gaze I find him intently staring straight ahead while nervously chewing on the corner of his thumb.

It is a tender and poignant scene at the same time.

The weight of his past has made him so vulnerable and so scared.

My soft big boy.

Life has not been kind to him, painful memories and invisible scars.

A pure heart that has learned to fear love.

A scared heart that is afraid to open up, to confide, to let someone enter his shattered world.

It's as if his heart were a wounded bird, unable to fly towards love.

His face is marked by the weight of a painful past, his eyes as deep as abysses hide secrets that only the night wind knows.

Words will never be enough so I make my decision.

I smile, even though he can't see me, and slowly get rid of my clothes again, the rustle of my clothes catches his attention and his eyes are finally on me again.

Soft and confused.

Left alone with his t-shirt on, I sit back on his lap, wrapping around his broad chest and burying my face in the crook of his neck.

His heart raging against mine, beating in unison.

“Do you know what?Rick can wait” I breathe against his throat, a light kiss where his Adam's apple bobs up and down.

“Here with you is where I want to be” I whisper, hugging him, “There is no other place in the world where I want to be”

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smutinlove · 8 months

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Request: Carl gets lost on a scavenging trip and Reader, althought although she grew up well protected in Alexandria, goes to search for him on her own. In the end Carl has to save her and they get caught in a storm and have to seek shelter somewhere and spend the night and some fluff occurs, maybe more, as you like

delivered <3

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

You often wonder what dirt tastes like. Oh, you wondered what life outside of Alexandria was like. Was it terrifying? Were the stories about the flesh-eating monsters true? Well, now you know.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

You watched as Carl was talking to his father, Rick Grimes. After Carl lost his eye, Rick had been a bit tense. But you understood that. Family is family. You saw Rick hand Carl a gun. You had your arms crossed. You were sitting on a bench, just watching the father-son duo talk. "Yeah, I'll be careful, Dad. It's not like I'm going to get bitten by a walker. So, chill." He reassured his worried father. "Teenagers," he scoffed. "Be careful, okay? I want you back here by five." Carl smiled and nodded. "Y/N," he turned to look at you, "don't do anything stupid till I get back." "How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you." He gave his father one last hug before walking out of the gates of Alexandria, your home. "You're staring." You turned your head and saw Enid. "Woah! No, hi or hello, Y/N, it's so great to see you," you mocked, making Enid roll her eyes. "You really gotta stop staring at Carl. He's the leader's son, for Christ's sake!" "Sorry, mom," you muttered under your breath. You got up from the bench and went back inside your house. You looked at your watch. It was one p.m. He should be back by six, just like Carl's father said. Hopefully, he will be back soon. You missed him. No, you barely know him. Idiot.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

You've had enough of this. The adults were panicking; your friends were panicking, and so were you. But you had the guts to get up and find the eyeless boy. You were going to do it. You threw your hood up and sneakily started making your way to the armory. You'd never done this before. You had lived a very sheltered life in Alexandria. Hell, you didn't even know how to properly use a gun. Thanks to Deanna, you were a bit useless when it came to fighting. After all, you hadn't left the walls since the outbreak started. You were lucky to have found Deanna just two days after the world went to shit and blood. You opened the window and jumped in, quietly, of course. You quickly grabbed a gun and stuffed it into your backpack. You heard familiar voices outside the window. "I'll go, man. Anything for the kid." It was the deep and gruff voice of Daryl Dixon. You hadn't talked to him before because he seemed intimidating. But who knew that Daryl Dixon was just a big softie on the inside? "Nah, you ain't going to look for him. You're staying here. Me and Michonne will go. Take 'are of Alexandria, alright?" It was Rick Grimes, the father of Carl Grimes. "Fine. But if you ain't back, then I'm going after ya." You heard them start to walk away. You let out a sigh. If this was the kind of stuff the FBI did, then you wanted no part of it. But anything for Carl. He is your friend. You opened the window you used to come in and jumped out. You kept your hood up and ran.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

When you were running, you also overheard Rick talking about where Carl went to scavenge. In your eyes, he was so brave. Carl was supposed to be scavenging for a bunch of stuff in an old neighborhood near Alexandria. You'd never been there before. You tripped over a rock. "Shit!" you exclaimed. You heard low growls coming from behind you. You looked behind you and saw four walkers. "Oh, shit." You scrambled to get up, but then again, you tripped over your foot and started falling down the road. At the bottom was a river. You used your leg to stop yourself from falling. You held onto a tree as you tried getting up. But again, you heard growls coming from behind you once more. You turned around and saw fifteen walkers. This is it. This was the end of your life. Y/N Y/L/N died to fifteen walkers who brutally dug into her stomach and ate her. "Oh, God. Help me." But it seemed like God wasn't listening. The wind began to pick up, and the rain started to pour in heavily. The sky has darkened to a deep shade of gray. You heard gunshots and ducked. And in a matter of seconds, the walkers fell one by one. "Woah! You look rough, girl. And didn't I tell you to not do anything stupid till I got back?" It was none other than Carl. "Oh, my. It's you! I've been looking for you for ages now. You idiot! You could have died!" You scolded like an angry mother. "Sorry, Y/N." Oh, but who could resist that adorably handsome face? "I got lost. I've been tryna find my way back to Alexandria too." You laughed. "The brave and bold-" You started coughing uncontrollably. "Poor thing." He walked over to you and gave you his jacket, but you pushed it away. "No. No, I don't need it." "Don't need it, my ass! Take it!"

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

It was storming heavily. You and Carl were incredibly wet due to the rain. "Are you okay?" He asked. "What?" "I said, are you okay?" he repeated. "Yeah!" you shouted. There were wet leaves on the ground, a few collapsed trees, and walkers. You barely knew how to protect yourself. But Carl was there. And he was all you needed. "Y/N!" You turned to look at him. "Over there. That's the neighborhood that I was looking for." You nodded and took his hand. The two of you ran towards it. Your shoes were muddy, your hair was a mess, and your shirt was half-ripped because of a branch, but you were still wearing Carl's jacket. You and Carl were also tired. But kept on running towards the nearest house in the neighborhood called "Clemenswood." Carl kicked open the door, and you two ran inside, panting. You were cold and started shivering. "Y/N, I'll be back. I'll see if this place has food. You stay here, okay?" He said softly. "Okay," you answered. You sat down on the cold, hard, and dusty floor. It looked like no one had lived or stayed here for a while. Moments later, you heard Carl rush in. "Good, you're still here. Anyway, I found a few stale bags of chips and two sodas. Is that fine?" he asked. "Yes," you replied. He smiled and sat down next to you. He opened one of the bags and handed it to you. "Thank you, Carl." You smiled warmly. ⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

You and Carl decided to spend the night in Clemenswood as the rain didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. You looked at Carl, who was laughing at something you said. "I love you; you know that?" You looked at him in disbelief. He blushed. "I meant it in a friend way-like a best friend way." You smiled. "Well, then, lover, I love you too. You're a great friend." Carl took your hand in his and wrapped his comforting fingers around it. ⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰ You were lying next to Carl. His strong arms were wrapped around you. This is what friends do, right? "I love you. I do; you know that, right?" You smiled. "I do." The two of you sat up and looked at each other. He smiled and said, "Do you know what I want to do?" You grinned. "What?" you inquired innocently. "This." Carl leaned in and kissed you softly, his lips lingering on yours. ───── ❝ authors note ❞ ─────

DID ANYONE GET THE STEVE AND BUCKY REFERENCE?? AND THE REFERENCE FROM ONE OF MY BOOKS ON WATTPAD THE CLEMENSWOOD THING??? EEEEE AND LIKE OMG IM SO KILIG NA KILIG RN CAUSE OF WHAT I JUST WROTE HERE. OMG I STARTED BLUSHING SO BADLY WHEN WRITING THE ENDING ITS SUCH A BAD HABIT OMG OMG ANYWAY LOVE YOU @carlsdarling

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