#Update: I've slept and it feels a lot better than not sleeping | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yeowangies · 9 months

Text

Blood Stains

CHAPTER X: If I bleed you'll be the last to know

❧

PAIRING: Raditz/F!Reader RATING: Explicit CONTENTS: Canon Divergence AU, Slow burn, Smut, Enemies to Lovers. WARNINGS: Explicit sexual content. WORDCOUNT: 4791

Summary:

You freeze in place. It has been a month since you had that argument with Raditz. What is he doing here? Even when weeks went by, you’re not sure you’ve cooled off enough to handle this yet. Or at all, since you were positive you would never see his face again.

Notes:

I feel like it's been a year since I've updated this, but it's only been a little over a month. I wrote this chapter like two months ago, and as I was reading this to check if everything is as I want it to be, I realized that I've written something that I wish I had in my life. I'm not gonna go too deep into this but it was weirdly comforting.

Again, I won't know when I'll post the next chapter, I'm currently busy with a lot of irl stuff, but hopefully it's gonna be in less than a month this time!

The lyrics in the title is from Taylor Swift's Cruel Summer. Enjoy!

You can check the tag #*bs if you wanna see the previous chapters.

A confrontation like that was not how you wanted to end things with Raditz. Because it was definitely over after that. You’re certain you won’t see him again.

You feel it in your bones, he likes staying with you and being with you. He has slept so much better the second time around, and he hasn’t been so tense. What he said hurt and you are still angry, so angry, but it was your fault he stormed out like that, you shouldn’t have said anything. You shouldn’t have talked to him as if he was going to break.

Then again, remaining silent didn’t feel right either. Even if you had agreed to only sleep together.

It was stupid to think you wouldn’t get attached. You never expected this affair to last for as long as it did, which wasn’t even that long to begin with. You even got to know him during his short stay, and even before that when he was staying at Capsule Corp; you know him too much for someone who you were just going to share a bed with every once in a while.

Lust was how all of it started, but it has transformed into something more, even if you don’t even want to acknowledge it yourself.

Would all that actually change anything?

You purposely had avoided the topic of his stay here on Earth, or about the Saiyans, before that day. But he said some things and you couldn’t keep your mouth shut. Nothing feels right, and you feel like punching a wall. Which would probably hurt less than when you slapped him, it’s like his face was made of steel.

You know for sure Raditz won’t ever come back, and you get more used to the idea as days pass by. It doesn’t hurt any less, though, and your heart feels tight whenever you dwell on it.

“I’m staying at Kame House for a few days, do you wanna come along?” Bulma asks over the phone one afternoon, in a cheery tone.

You haven’t told Bulma anything about Raditz at all; keeping it a secret was for the best, or so you thought. You were regretting it a bit now, all your emotions were bottling up inside and that couldn’t be good. But you’re not ready to share everything yet.

“No, it’s okay, I… have work to do.”

“Don’t forget the Saiyans are getting here one of these days, it’d be better if you’re here when that happens.”

“I know.”

“Do you know anything about Raditz?”

You inhale sharply before clearing your throat.

“I don’t.”

“That’s so weird, he just disappeared. I would assume he left the planet, but he doesn’t have any ship, does he?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Mmh, I’m sure we’ll know what he’s been up to once his two buddies come here. I know Goku can take them.”

“Yeah… Yeah, Goku is unbeatable, right?”

“…Are you okay? You don’t sound too good…”

“I haven’t been sleeping well. I’ve been thinking about this too much.” At least that part isn’t a lie. “Don’t worry, okay? Call me if anything happens.”

You hang up after that.

It has been almost a year since Goku died. It doesn’t feel like so much time has passed. Since you’ve been trying to avoid the topic altogether when Raditz was around, you actually lost track of time until Bulma called to tell you about it.

You’re reconsidering actually making a bag and getting to Kame House too when a loud knock on the balcony startles you.

“Open up.” Raditz’s loud voice demands from the other side of the balcony door. “Unless you want me to blast through the wall.”

Fuck. You know he isn’t bluffing.

Breathing in deeply, you open the door ajar to look him up. He’s still as handsome as ever even when he doesn't have his usual smirk, you want to gouge out your eyes because of how furious it makes you. You lock eyes with him for a brief second before moving to the side to let him in.

Raditz stands in front of you with his eyes fixed on your face, but your gaze is elsewhere. Now that he is here, you don’t want to apologize first. You’re hurt, but you’re still very angry too. You’re a lot of emotions together at once with him.

“Are you not even going to look at me?” He asks, annoyed.

You sigh, slowly, turning your eyes towards him. You can’t decipher the expression on his face, but Raditz is staring at you with such intensity you’re worried he might be seeing right through you. You avert your gaze from him after a second, unsure if you want to slap him again or jump right into his arms.

You’re startled when Raditz abruptly takes a few steps towards you and grabs your arms, pulling you closer and leaning down to capture your lips in a kiss. A surprised noise escapes you, melting a little inside when you feel him so close after all that time. It takes a second for you to remember that you’re still upset and that you don’t actually want to give in this easily.

“No…” You murmur quietly into the kiss, pushing urgently at his shoulders to get him off. “No, Raditz, I don’t wanna do this!”

“Your body is saying otherwise.” He says with a smirk, hands sliding underneath your shirt and making you shiver.

“I don’t wanna do this when I’m mad at you!” You clarify, pulling away from him the best you can in his embrace.

“Isn’t this the best way to make amends?”

That smug grin of his grows wider and your face heats up, but you still roll your eyes.

“I’m not doing this until you apologize. What you said to me hurt…”

Raditz pulls away, frowning deeply, his hands closing into fists then opening and closing again a couple of times. You realize that he probably won’t apologize first; you wonder if he actually can apologize at all, not because he’s incapable, but maybe it’s something he has never done before.

“Though I guess, I really hurt you too.” You say after seconds of silence, taking the first step. “I didn’t mean to talk to you that way… I’m sorry. What I said was true though, I do care about you…”

He nods, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“What am I supposed to say?” Raditz asks, with his eyes still on your face.

“I don’t know… tell me how you feel?” His frown gets deeper and you want to laugh because he looks like a petulant child who simply can’t have things his way. You offer him a small smile instead. “Do they not teach Saiyans how to apologize?”

“We do not apologize.”

You sigh, your smile turning sour because you expected that answer.

“It wasn’t my intention to upset you.” Raditz says, to your surprise, as he gets closer again with a smirk. “Let me show you how sorry I am.”

You huff, smiling despite yourself, when his hands reach for you again, pulling you closer by your shirt until you’re flush against him.

“You’re only saying that cause you wanna get laid!”

“I’m saying that because I want you.” He leans down to bury his face in your neck, pressing his nose to your skin and breathing in deeply. “If you do not want this, tell me to stop.”

Goosebumps form on your skin when you feel his breath near your ear, and you jolt when his hands trail under your shirt once more.

You don’t know if that apology of his is enough, but he did say he was sorry in a way.

When Raditz realizes you won’t stop him, he removes all your clothes urgently, and you help him get rid of his as he kisses you fervently. You feel his desperation by the way his hands gripped your body, pressing you as close as possible while his lips devoured you. You had to pull away for air, but he just kept planting kisses down your jaw and neck.

You soon forget why you’ve been mad all this time, and your mind goes completely blank when he lays you on the bed and kneels down on the floor, grinning cheekily as he throws your legs over his shoulders.

“I may not be good with words, but I know I’m damn good at other things.” Raditz purrs, tracing his lips on the inside of your thighs.

You laugh breathily because he’s obviously right, and you’re too weak to argue about whatever you were talking about before.

Whatever Raditz gets out of going down on you, you don’t know, but you don’t ponder on the thought when he coaxes you into coming twice with just his mouth in what must be record time. You’re still in haze when he crawls on top of you, kissing you gently as he pushes his cock inside you.

“Fuck, I needed this…” He grunts in your ear, once he’s fully sheathed. “I need you. I want you.”

Raditz sets a steady yet hard pace, slamming his hips against yours. You whimper, your body still sensitive, and after a few rough thrusts you get closer to the edge again. You don’t even try to fight it or to make it last longer; after having come twice already, you’re too weak to do much.

Wrapping your arms around him, you hold him close as your release washes over you, shuddering and letting out a stuttered moan. Raditz groans against your skin before biting down your neck, moving into you faster until his body tenses, coming inside with a guttural growl.

He practically collapses on top of you once he’s spent but you don’t mind it; it’s nice to feel him so close after so many days when you were getting used to the idea that you wouldn’t meet him again. Running your hands up and down his back and threading your fingers through his hair, you sigh contently until he rolls over to the side.

When he pulls you closer with an arm around your shoulder and his tail on your waist, you look at him with wide eyes. He rarely initiates cuddling.

“I thought I was never going to have you again.” Raditz confesses quietly, only for you to hear.

“I thought you wouldn’t come back either…” You respond softly. “I didn’t want that to be the last time we saw each other. Everything I said… You shouldn’t take my word for it anyway.”

“Didn’t you say you meant it?”

“When I said I care about you, yeah, I did, but everything else… I mean, you know me enough. I come home to an empty apartment every day. Who am I to talk about how you live your life…”

Your eyes are looking at the window, fixed on the sky, tinted with dark orange as the sun sets, but you can feel his eyes trained on your face.

“I still have a lot to apologize for, is that what you’re saying?” Raditz asks, pressing you closer.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

He hums in response, and you shut up for once, not wanting to drag this along anymore. When he presses his nose to the top of your head, breathing in your scent, you close your eyes, relaxing for a minute, pleased that he has magically decided to come and stay for at least a little while.

“You didn’t ask me to clean myself this time.” Raditz casually says, and you snort. You’re aware that you didn’t, but you also didn’t catch any weird smell when he was close, so you don’t really care.

“I was just ignoring how dirty you are.”

“Is that so?” He shifts, moving even closer and pressing his lips to your neck again. “Do you want to take a shower with me?”

You’re only human, and Raditz is looking at you with eyes that make you want to sink and drown in them. He effortlessly carries you to the shower, and as water falls down both of your bodies, he kisses you heatedly when he slides inside you again, moving at a steady pace, and it doesn’t take long until you both come simultaneously.

Later that night, when he’s sleeping by your side with an arm draped over your waist, tears well up in your eyes. You don’t dare to think about it, let alone say it out loud, but you know how you feel. You know well what the word is for how you feel towards him. Anxiety about the upcoming days keeps you from reveling in your feelings because you know this won’t end well. This was supposed to be just casual but you had been naive to think it could remain that way as time went by.

Swallowing down your feelings, and telling yourself to keep quiet about them and how much it’s going to hurt once he leaves, you blink your tears away before they can spill as you press closer to Raditz, and try to sleep.

Raditz was honest when he said he thought he was never going to lay with you again. He was sure you wouldn’t want to work things out when he got to your place to talk to you, you were the one who told him to leave after all. Thankfully, he had been wrong; he figured he would have to say sorry even if he didn’t know how. But when he kissed you and your body responded to him, he knew not all was lost. He’s very aware he did the bare minimum, but apologizing is something he has never done, not like this, not when he’s actually sorry and has to show himself vulnerable to someone else. It’s comforting to know you did the same for him.

He feels you moving more than usual when the two of you go to sleep that night, as well as how tense your body is against his. He’s close to actually asking if there’s something wrong, but you end up falling asleep at some point.

After sharing a bed with you for so many nights, Raditz already knows you’re not a light sleeper, not like he is. He moves to press closer when he wakes up the next morning, and you don’t even notice, too deep in your slumber to respond to his gesture. He can’t see your face from his position; your back is against his chest, the faint sunlight filtering through the window highlights the line of your body, and he can smell your hair. Small benefits from lying down like that.

The desire to stay like this, with his nose buried in your hair and an arm wrapped around your waist while the sun rises, is unfamiliar and confusing, yet not entirely unwelcome. Since he never actually had sex and slept with someone before, especially not as many times, he’s not sure how normal it is to feel this way, but it brings him a sense of peace that he has never experienced before. The closest feeling to this one was the one he got after purging a planet, like satisfaction from having finished a job, and knowing he could relax for a bit. Yet at the same time, it’s unfair to compare the two, they were similar, but nothing alike.

Saiyans rarely mated for life, but it wasn’t completely uncommon. Raditz is well aware, his parents were one of the few mated couples on the planet. But it had been a long time ago, and the image of everyone else he may have known is fuzzy. Is this how his parents felt when they were with each other?

He knows he’s become quite fond of you; after you told him to leave last time and the prospect of never touching you again sank in, how important you are to him became much more obvious. But what's more surprising is that it doesn’t bother him at all.

Except for the fact that Vegeta and Nappa are coming to this planet God knows when. Raditz has lost track of time a long time ago, all he knows is that they are getting here someday.

He remembers well that he was looking for the Dragon Balls too. For immortality, or something. He’s been rethinking that wish for a few days now, but there isn’t any alternative that satisfies him.

His focus shifts when you stir, humming softly as you wake up. You look comically startled to see him staring at you when you turn to him with sleepy eyes.

“Hey,” You mumble, clearing your throat, “You should have woken me up if you were awake.”

“Why?” His tail that has been draped over your hip tightens, holding you closer to his body.

“I don’t know, aren’t you hungry, or bored?”

“I’m not.” Raditz chuckles; maybe he’s a little hungry, but he rather stays like this. “You snore when you sleep and that’s pretty entertaining.”

“I do not!”

“Yes, you do. Pretty loudly.”

“Well, you snore too, and even louder!”

You’re looking at him with drowsy eyes, rosy cheeks, and messy hair; he can’t resist.

Laughing quietly, Raditz brings the hand on your waist up to your cheek to stroke it, pulling you closer towards him and gently pressing his lips to yours. You make a surprised soft noise and squirm in his arms, making him smile into the kiss, completely pleased with your reaction. He plants another brief kiss before pulling awake, and you stare at him with wide eyes.

“Why did you do that?” You ask shyly, blushing deeper. He’s not sure why you’re blushing, you had kissed each other before, plenty of times.

But he’s never kissed you just because, with no intentions of sex.

Raditz remains quiet, only staring at your face for a little while before you move to sit up.

“I should get up… I’ll make breakfast.”

Your cheeks still have a faint pink hue as he watches you walk out the room towards the bathroom.

You stare at him more often than usual during the morning, while he eats, and he usually wouldn’t mind it, but you’re not even saying anything that would explain why you keep your eyes trained on him with such intensity.

“You keep staring at me, girl, what are you thinking?”

“I didn’t realize I was… Sorry.”

Raditz grunts in response, noticing that you look embarrassed for being caught. He doesn’t get it, though.

“I don’t like it when you call me ‘girl’.”

“What? Why? You are a girl.” He frowns, confused.

“I am but I’m not a child, I’m a woman.”

“I’m well aware of that.”

“How old are you, anyway? You look around Goku’s age.”

“I don’t know.” Raditz replies after some time.

“You don’t know how old you are?”

“No. I was seven when Planet Vegeta was destroyed. I stopped counting after that.”

You look sad for whatever reason; he doesn’t get that either.

“Goku was sent here as a baby…” You start after some time, thinking out loud and locking eyes with him. “Do you remember how old you were when he was born?”

“I was six.”

“So, a year later, your planet was destroyed?”

“More or less, yes.”

“Mmh… Goku was 24 when he died-”

“Can we stop talking about Kakarot?”

“-and he would have been 25 by now. And you’re 6 years older than him. So you’re 31.”

Raditz blinks, unsure of how to react.

“You’re not that much older than me then, I was a bit worried.” You smile cheerily.

“You were worried?”

“A bit, yeah. You could have been 100 years old for all I know. But I’m glad we are close in age.”

“Is age that important? How old are you?” He eyes you up and down; he doesn’t have any concept about how humans age, but you look young.

Do humans stay young for a long time, like Saiyans? Doubtful. Saiyans were built like that to fight for decades, but humans do not do that.

“I’m 28.” You smile wider, resting your arms on the table and leaning closer. “You also seem like a Scorpio.”

“The fuck are you talking about?”

“It’s a human thing, according to when you were born, you have certain personality traits.”

“You humans sure have a lot of free time on your hands.”

Raditz yanks your chair closer to his with his foot, making you jolt, obviously surprised, but you keep talking.

“Yeah, well, we were never involved in intergalactic wars. But I’m not sure if you’re more like a Scorpio or a Gemini…”

“I don’t know what any of that means.”

He effortlessly picks you, making you sit on his lap and holding you close as his lips find your neck, pressing kisses up your jaw.

“You can be a Scorpio because you’re a little stubborn, among other things…” You giggle when he presses his nose to the skin under your ear, taking in your scent. “Or a Gemini because you’re mischievous, and a little tense…”

Raditz isn’t really paying too much attention to what you’re saying, he’s too preoccupied with how your body feels, how soft your skin is, and how sweet your smell is to respond to your words.

“You’re not listening to me…” You say, quietly and breathily, as he sneaks a hand underneath your shirt.

“I’m busy.” He nibbles your jaw, and you shiver slightly in his embrace. “I don’t understand a word you’re saying anyway.”

Capturing your lips next, you’re finally silenced as he kisses you ardently, digging his fingers into your flesh to press you as close as possible. You hum contently, kissing him just as eagerly, and Raditz feels his chest tightening with adoration.

It’s a strange sensation, being aware of his affection for you, and the affection itself, having never experienced anything close to it. He could spend hours just sitting there, kissing you, touching you, and even more.

When he pulls away to take off your shirt, Raditz notices that the sky has turned pitch black, leaving your apartment in the dark. It’s morning, the sun was out just a minute ago. You gasp when you notice it too, and you stiffen in his arms. Looking at your face, even in the shadows, he immediately can tell that you know what’s going on.

“What is this?” He asks, staring at you.

He hears you swallow as your hold on his shoulders tightens, but you don’t answer.

Raditz stands up, helping you stay on your feet before he walks to the window to look outside. There’s nothing going on besides the sky being completely obscured. He focuses on detecting energies, but there’s no one who catches his attention.

The darkness only lasts a few minutes before the sun is out again, just in the same spot it was before. He has been on Earth enough to know that hasn’t been a common occurrence on that planet. And there isn’t any moon for it to be an eclipse.

When Raditz turns to look at you, you seem upset, with your brows furrowed and mouth slightly open.

“You know what’s going on. Tell me.” He wants to sound demanding, but he has grown too soft to even raise his voice at you.

You open and close your mouth a few times, and he waits patiently for an explanation, but before he can get one, your phone rings. He’s about to tell you to ignore it, but you quickly turn to pick it up. His eyes follow you, and he listens in to your conversation (as he usually does when you talk on the phone with someone).

“Oh, hi, Bulma… Yeah, I saw. I figured it was you. So Goku is back? Tomorrow? But that’s a month early! Yeah, I know. I’ll be there. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Raditz watches as you hang up, and slowly, very slowly, turn to him. You still look distressed as you lock eyes with him.

“The Saiyans are getting here tomorrow.”

He couldn’t hide the surprised look on his face. Tomorrow? Has it been a year? No, that’s why you said ‘that’s a month early’. It hasn’t been a year, but he has lost track of time to even notice how long it’s been. He’s been too distracted.

“And… They brought Goku back to life. Now you can’t use the Dragon Balls…”

Raditz frowns. He wanted the Dragon Balls to make a wish (immortality, was it?) but he doesn’t really care about that anymore.

You’re looking at him with big eyes, and he understands why you seem so upset now.

When Raditz takes a few steps forward he isn’t really thinking, he just knows that he wants to touch you and feel you close more than ever before. You’re startled by how fast he lunges towards you, and you even gasp when he kisses you. He presses you against the telephone stand, almost tumbling it over, but he really doesn’t care, wrapping his arms tightly around you. He kisses you as if he hasn’t been kissing you the past few days, the past few months, with intensity, tasting your lips and every corner of your mouth.

“Raditz-” You call for him against his lips, clinging to his shoulders. “Wait-”

“I don’t want to wait.” He practically growls, gripping your waist so tight he regrets it, thinking he might have hurt you, but you only hum in response. “I don’t want to talk. Just…”

At a loss of words, he trails off, but luckily you don’t try again.

You only moan his name, and the occasional curse, when Raditz presses you against the mattress moments later, moving in and out of you at a slow pace, kissing you heatedly the entire time, swallowing down all your noises and all the words that escape your lips. He groans your name against your skin every time he comes, holding you close, knowing this time that he will have to let you go once tomorrow arrives.

When he decided that this situation with you was just a distraction in what could only be considered a ‘pause’ in the usual pace of his life, he hadn’t been thinking clearly. He feels like he’s bleeding inside again, for different reasons now.

Raditz stays in bed with you for most of the day (he still knows you’re human, and you can’t possibly keep up with him if he were to actually fuck you all day long, and you both need to eat anyway). For once you don’t talk too much, and he realizes he actually likes it when you do, when you ask him questions or when you quip a witty remark at him.

He doesn’t know what he’s going to do tomorrow.

“You’re not going to go there, are you?” Raditz asks you the next morning, eying you up and down as you sit on the bed, tying up your shoes.

“No, I’m going to be at Kame House.”

“That pink house where we met?”

“Yeah…”

He nods. He doesn’t know why he even asked, if something were to happen to the planet, it wouldn’t matter where you are.

“I’ll take you there.”

“Oh, I can get there myself.” You show him a small smile. “Thank you, though.”

Raditz would argue but it’s better that way. He can say goodbye to you alone here.

As soon as you stand up, he kisses you. You get surprised every time, but you return it just the same. He glides his lips over yours, slow and sweet, as he holds your face. This might be the last time he gets to kiss you, so he makes it last until he feels you’re struggling for air. He’s going to miss that hazy look in your eyes when he breaks a kiss, the look you currently have as he leans his forehead against yours.

Unsure of what to say, Raditz just keeps his eyes locked with yours for a while. You said before you want him to say goodbye whenever he leaves. He doesn’t want to say it, but he does anyway.

“Goodbye.”

His body protests when he takes a step back, his hands on your face leaving you last. You still look distressed, and he waits for a minute, in case you want to say something.

When you don’t, Raditz finally turns to the balcony, opening the door and flying away.

#dbz imagine #dbz fanfiction #dbz fics #raditz x you #raditz x reader #dbz #raditz #my writing #*bs

35 notes · View notes

sanguineterrain · 2 years

Text

On Wings of Fate (3) - s.r. | b.b.

Series summary: You meet a kind stranger one day in the marketplace. He's a pirate, but a good man, he swears. Your knight isn't so sure, but oh, what does he know? You like the pirate; his eyes are like the sea and his smile... oh, his smile is trouble. Yet from the moment he docked at your kingdom's port, you just may have bargained for more than the three of you could ever imagined.

Pairing: knight!Steve Rogers x princess!fem!Reader x pirate!Bucky Barnes

Word count: 4.9k

Warnings: violence, arguing, feelings, reader is grabbed/threatened briefly but she's okay, don't worry <3

SERIES MASTERLIST || MAIN MASTERLIST

I do not do taglists anymore! You can follow @sanguine-marvel for new updates on all my Marvel fics.

dividers by s-tarksintern

Dawn cracked through the notches in the door, stirring you first, then Steve. Bucky had herded you both into his quarters after you escaped, insisting he didn't sleep much anyway. Steve, weary though he was, had taken the foot of the bed, sword at his side.

You slept longer than you ever had in your life, nearly an entire day. Back home, Petunia would've already opened the curtains and coaxed you awake with honeyed milk and summer fruit. The thought made you ache.

But seeing Steve perched at your feet, wisps of light dancing across his cheeks, was like coming home. You didn't regret a thing, despite the circumstances. You were alive and so was Steve. That was all that mattered.

The crown was still by your bed where you'd left it, as well as any jewels that hadn't flown off in your flight.

"Are we at port?" Steve yawned, pushing himself up from the floor. You shrugged, yawning.

"I haven't been out yet."

"Is the crown still there?"

You crossed your arms. "Yes. Where else would it be?"

"Just checking." His tone was light. You let it go.

You rose, opening the door. You raised a hand to shield your eyes from the sun.

"We're approaching port!"

Bucky was already awake, bright eyed even though you hadn't heard him gone to bed. His face had a mild sheen of sweat, the first two buttons of his shirt undone.

"Where?" asked Steve, fastening his chainmail.

"Bridgeport. We're as far as I could get you in a day, but I need to refuel."

"Thank you, Bucky," you smiled. "You've done so much. I want to repay you. Maybe��"

You removed the gold pendant from your neck and tried putting it over Bucky's. He stepped back, catching your wrists.

"Bucky, what—"

"Princess…" He stared at the necklace, wordless for several moments. It was like he was bewitched. Then he shook his head, taking another step back and letting go of you.

"No, no. You wear it a hell of a lot better, sweetheart."

"But you've done so much…"

"It's okay. I'm a pirate, I've got plenty of gold,” he grinned. “You should hold onto it."

"I shouldn't," you frowned, slipping it back on. "What if someone steals it in town?"

"I'll stow it away for you. And your crown. You're right: jewelry would attract too much attention. And that's the last thing we need right now."

"Hold on," interrupted Steve. "Why should we trust you?"

"Pardon?"

"Steve!" you scolded.

He didn’t back down. "How convenient that you'd be able to store precious items on your ship while we're distracted in town."

Bucky's eyes narrowed. "You really think I'm a thief? After everything I've done?"

"This is the perfect time to take advantage," Steve said coldly. "A pirate is a pirate."

"Steve, stop it," you snapped. "What is the matter with you?"

"You're too trusting, Y/N!" he burst. "Don't you wonder why he was there on that first day to begin with?"

"He…" never told you. You'd never once questioned why Bucky was there; it hadn't seemed important at the time.

"I'm sure he had a good reason…”

"I was refueling. Like I'm doing now."

"But there are dozens of cities on the coastline," you mused quietly. "There are small towns that don't have palace guards to chase you. You took a risk going there, Bucky."

"Bigger cities have better supplies. But fine. Here." Bucky disappeared into his quarters, returning with a burlap satchel and the ceremonial jewelry from yesterday. He stuffed it all into the bag, then shoved it into Steve's chest.

"If I'm a filthy pirate, so be it. Take your things and go."

"Bucky," you pleaded. "Bucky, wait! I do trust you. He’s just—”

"This won’t work if your guard dog can't keep his bite to himself, princess." He met your eyes, blue turned icy. "Go on."

Steve's hand curled around your wrist and you were pulled on reluctant feet off of the ship.

"Come on, Y/N. We'll find another way."

You stumbled as you turned back, trying to catch Bucky's gaze. But he was gone, ship bare. You wrenched your hand away from Steve, chest heaving.

"What is wrong with you?! Bucky was helping us. He risked his life for you and I, Steve!"

"You don't know anything about him, Y/N! Gods, you're naive, thinking everybody's got good intentions. They don't. I know that, and so does Bucky. That's what you learn in a war, outside palace walls."

You recoiled like you'd been slapped.

"Oh. You think me a stupid little princess. Just like the rest of the castle."

"That's not what I meant."

"I thought you… I thought I was your equal, Steve."

"Y/N.” Steve looked aghast. “Please, of course we are. I didn't…"

You shook your head, storming into the village. Steve followed, calling after you.

"Y/N, wait, please. I don't think that of you!"

"Stop following me! We're not behind palace walls anymore. You're not a knight and I'm not a princess."

Your feet ached and your body was littered with bruises and nicks. Certainly, if there was any doubt you were no longer a princess, your appearance was sign enough. Your skirt was tattered beyond mending, but it was the only thing you had left. All your clothes back home had probably been looted or burned by now.

Clank. Clank. Clank.

The sound of chainmail made you stop. You sighed, facing the sky.

"I told you to let me be."

"I know you're angry and you can be angry with me all you like but I am not leaving you by yourself in a strange town," came Steve's voice behind you.

"Then at least afford me some distance."

"Fine."

You started walking and this time, the jingle of chainmail wasn't so close. This village was smaller, rougher. There were more pubs for one, and they were the extent of the town's development. Instead of cobblestone roads, the path was lumpy dirt and dry weeds. You stepped carefully, your shoes insufficient for the beaten roads.

“If you walk in the grass, it would be smoother,” Steve called behind you.

You huffed, taking off at a run. This wasn’t fair. None of it was. You were angry at Pierce for his betrayal, angry at your father for trusting such a horrible man. You were angry at Steve for his mulishness, and angry at yourself for, despite everything, still wanting his company. Why hadn’t you caught wind of Pierce's betrayal sooner? Perhaps Steve was right—you were helplessly naive.

“Please,” croaked a voice. “A crust of bread from m’lady?”

You slowed, spotting a frail hand that reached from under a ragged navy cloak. It shook as if weak from hunger. The figure was slumped against a crumbling stone wall.

“Please,” she begged again, voice cracking with age. “Anything will help, m’lady.”

“I’m sorry,” you replied as you neared. “I have nothing. But maybe…” you glanced towards where Steve was catching up. “I could try—”

The hand suddenly grabbed your dress. You startled, squirming.

“Not nothing,” she hissed, grip strong. “Doesn’t look like nothing on that pretty neck.”

She rose then, cloak slipping down. You gasped as a youthful, partially human face stared back at you, framed by fiery hair. Her green eyes glowed.

“Gods!”

“Y/N! Let go of her!”

You gaped in horror at the obsidian claws that appeared, her visage melting away. She grabbed your arm, claws clicking too close to your throat.

“Easy now,” she purred. “I only want the gold.”

Steve raced to you, sword drawn. He struck her arm but she only hissed, the sword clanging against hard scales. She swiped at him, which Steve narrowly dodged.

“What are you?!” you shrieked, struggling, but she held fast.

A man stepped out from the shadows, quick on his feet, and suddenly, Steve was distracted with another decidedly not-human creature. They fought, though the man didn’t appear to have any weapons. You continued to struggle with the woman, until—

“Tasha!”

The woman whipped her head around, though her grip on you remained. Both of your hands clung to the necklace.

“What are you doing?” Bucky barked, shoving through Steve and the man without a second glance. “You two promised you’d quit!”

“Times are hard, Barnes. We can’t all have an affinity for treasure,” ‘Tasha’ replied calmly. “And you left, remember? Besides, this one’s palace-pampered. I can smell it on her.”

You squeaked as a single claw danced over your collarbone. Bucky’s expression darkened.

“Let. Go.”

“Possessive, are we? You never did learn to share.” Her gaze turned onto Steve. “How ‘bout him? He looks good enough to sink my teeth into.”

“As much as he may deserve it,” grit Bucky. “No.”

“Oh,” she grinned, showing off rows of fangs. “You got soft, James. They’ll only break your heart, you know.”

“Natasha.” Bucky’s tone left no room for argument. “Let her go. Before I make you.”

“It’s your fault for letting your toys astray,” she tutted but her grip loosened.

You stumbled away, knocking into Steve, who was no longer locked in a fight. He held you close, inspecting your neck. You let him, relief overriding your earlier spat.

“I wasn’t going to hurt her,” Natasha said. “See? No bruises of mine. It’s not my fault she’s a squealer.”

“You and Clint promised your begging days were over.”

“War’s brewing,” said Clint, removing his own hood. “We don’t have much else.”

You gawked at the ivory horns that curled up and near his head. Steve stiffened in surprise.

“It’s not polite to stare,” sneered Natasha.

Quickly, you averted your gaze, mumbling an apology. She stared at you for a moment, then turned to Bucky.

“So, where did you find them? Didn’t think you were much for rubbing elbows with royalty.”

“None of your business,” Bucky clipped. “Don’t try t’act chummy after all this.”

“Me? You were always the sentimental bastard even while cutting throats,” she chortled. “And what do you plan to do? Sleep on your ship? Can’t be good enough for the pretty princess.”

“We’ll manage,” Bucky put firmly.

“We?” asked Steve. “Since when is it we?”

“Since you two can’t go a moment without finding trouble,” Bucky snapped back. “And as difficult as you are, the Princess doesn’t deserve that. Besides, it’s not like you have the faintest idea where you’re headed.”

“She and I can manage just fine without your pigheaded—”

“Enough!” you shouted. “Gods! Steve, we have no idea where we’re going and Bucky has been nothing but kind to us. Bucky, Steve was only trying to protect me, however backwards his actions were. We appreciate you, and we want to travel with you, if you’ll let us. But I cannot put up with any more quarrels!”

You folded your arms expectantly. Bucky looked at the ground. Steve glanced at you guiltily, then sighed.

“I’m sorry for accusing you of being a thief, Bucky. That wasn’t fair of me. She’s right: you’ve only been a good man. Hell, you could’ve left us here, but you didn’t.”

“Well,” Bucky grunted, unusually bashful. “You’re good people. Even if you can be a little exasperating.”

“Back at you,” but Steve was smiling.

“Now shake hands,” you ordered.

They shook hands. Bucky lightly smacked Steve’s shoulder, jostling him. You pushed forward, throwing your arms around Bucky, who gently accepted you with a hum.

“Thank you for coming back,” you said into the crook of his neck.

“‘Course, princess. I always will.”

Your gaze lingered on the slope of his nose and the dip of his Cupid’s bow. Steve touched your shoulder, startling you and Bucky apart. A beat passed.

“Interesting,” commented Natasha.

Bucky ignored her. “We may be able to barter passage to the kingdom in town. It should only take us about three days’ time.”

“I can get a message to my father there, if he’s fled," you said. "And hopefully the other kingdoms.”

Steve nodded. “We’ll need an army to fight Pierce.”

“Alexander Pierce?” asked Natasha.

Steve only glared at her. She stepped to Bucky.

“You’re going after Pierce,” she said.

“He captured my kingdom,” you explained, trying not to falter with those serpent eyes staring back at you. “He was my father’s advisor. We didn’t know he was planning this, though. Bucky got us out.”

“I see.” She turned, beginning to walk into town. “Well, you’ll need to refuel, and there’s no way you can travel in that, Highness.”

“Wh-what?”

“Do I speak in tongues?” she snarked. “If you’re going after Pierce, you’ll need all the help you can get.”

“There’s no way we’re following you anywhere after what you’ve done,” Steve snapped.

Natasha regarded him coolly. “You don’t have to trust me. I don’t trust you either.”

“Then why are you—”

“I would assume James didn’t dock here by accident.”

You glanced at Bucky, who sighed. “No more begging.”

Natasha shrugged and continued walking. You and Steve stayed put until Bucky coaxed you along.

“‘S okay,” he said. “I know ‘em.”

“I know; that’s what I’m worried about,” said Steve.

“Aww, don’t worry, Stevie. I’ll keep you safe,” Bucky cooed.

He laughed as Steve shoved his shoulder, falling in step behind you. Steve remained glued to your side. You really couldn’t fight him at this point; most of the anger from earlier had dissipated anyway.

“I am also sorry,” Steve began quietly. “For what I said to you. I don’t think you’re stupid, Y/N, never. You care for others, and I can’t fault you for that.”

“No,” you sighed. “I suppose I am naive. Just look at what happened.”

“Preying on your kindness doesn’t make you naive. It only makes others cruel.”

“You and Bucky don’t get preyed on, and you’re both good men.”

“We’re also stubborn, cynical, and more than a little beastly,” simpered Steve.

You looped your arm with his, nudging him with your head.

“You two aren’t beastly. You’re lovely as a prince and Bucky looks crafted by the finest sculptor.”

Steve made a face. “Sculptor?”

“Shucks, Princess—you’re making me blush.”

Bucky sidled up between you, grinning. You yelped in surprise.

“O-oh! Apologies, I didn’t mean to be so brazen.”

“Don’t you worry ‘bout that,” he winked. “I’m quite flattered, sweetheart.”

“I—”

“Bucky,” interrupted Steve, clearing his throat. “Are you certain about this? You might know them, but…”

“They’re safe, don’t worry. I wouldn’t put you two in danger when you’ve already got such a knack for it.”

“That’s rich, considering the company you keep.”

“I know, right?” Bucky grinned. “I sure know how to attract the punks.”

You beamed at their teasing, further leaning into Steve. He pulled you into his side, rubbing your shoulder.

“Hold onto your valuables,” called Clint. “This is a rough crowd.”

“Good idea. Gimme the stuff,” said Bucky.

“What? No. I can hold it,” Steve insisted.

“You’ll get pickpocketed before we set foot inside.”

“And you won’t?”

“No, I won’t,” huffed Bucky. “Hand it over. I’ll give it back as soon as we’re in the room.”

Steve grunted, grumpily forking over the satchel. Bucky tucked it into his vest.

“Stay close,” he murmured. “We don’t know who’s listening.”

"Do you think there are spies?" you whispered.

"I really don't know, princess. But I wouldn't rule it out."

You got to the inn without much hassle. The rooms were run down and obviously the cheapest option available. But it was shelter for the night and that needed to be enough for now.

"Eat light," Natasha said in a tone that made you unsure if she was joking or not. "This is the last of our gold."

She set down bowls of stew in front of you and Steve. Shrouded under their cloaks, Clint and Natasha appeared human. The innkeeper barely cast them a glance. You and Steve, however, had drawn his attention as well as that of the stray guests quietly chatting. They stared until the door shut behind you.

"Gods," groaned Bucky. "Steve, take off the chainmail."

"I need to be ready for any danger!”

Bucky rolled his eyes and plucked Steve's shoulder pads off. "You look ridiculous. The nearest kingdom is no less than three days’ trip and you’re clomping around like you’ve raided the village.”

“Oh, and your leather coat isn’t obnoxious? It’s June.”

“I have poor circulation,” Bucky sniffed, then peeled off Steve’s chestplate.

“Hey!”

“Quit your whining, buttercup. You can keep the boots and belt.” He winked. “Or don’t.”

"Come along, little princess," said Natasha, beckoning you with one finger, claws away. "Those rags won't do. I've got better for you."

You glanced at Bucky, who nodded. Steve stepped forward.

"I'll be right here, Y/N," he said. "Yell if you need anything."

"She'll be fine," Natasha said lightly. "Promise I'll play nice. James?"

Bucky reluctantly followed Clint to the door. "We're going to go find some means of passage. Stay put. That means you too, Steve."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, I know you have trouble following directions, dearest. Wanted to make myself clear."

"You really are an asshole, huh?"

"The biggest," he winked.

You took the pack from the table, handing it to Bucky. His eyes widened.

"Princess, what—"

"I trust you. I know you'll be able to get a good price for them. It's not like I have any use for them now."

"We can find another way," he began, but you shook your head.

"Use what you need. I want to help. And if you need my necklace…"

"Now, what'd I say 'bout that?" he tutted. "Looks better on you."

"We should go," Clint urged. "We have to check to make sure you three weren't followed."

"We weren't," Bucky huffed. "I checked."

"Right. Well, better to be safe. Who knows what happened while you were busy mooning over your guests."

"I was not—"

Their bickering carried on after the door shut. You let Natasha lead you into her room. Primly, you sat on the corner of the hay-stuffed mattress, trying not to wince at the hard straw.

"It's no palace chambers," she said as she dug through her pack.

"No, no, it's—thank you. For your hospitality."

She rose, smirking at you. "There's that famous royal benevolence I've heard so much about. Nearly sliced you open and you're thanking me for straw."

"I—well, you didn't have to take us in."

"No, I didn't. James is a friend, though, and you two are harmless. No scales off my back."

"Right," was all you said, feeling wildly out of place.

"Relax, Highness," Natasha crooned. "I'm not going to do anything to you. The necklace is all yours."

She tossed you a bundle of random clothing, letting you your privacy as you changed. The tunic was worn but soft. You had to adjust the trousers—none of the clothes were custom made for your body, but you managed.

"Decent," she approved, turning. "If you were handy with a sword, I might mistake you for a pirate queen."

"Pirate queen?"

"Oh, yes. James would make a fine pirate king, don't you think?"

"Wh—I-I don't know what you mean,” you spluttered.

"Of course. Mustn't anger your darling knight. Gods know he's already brimming with jealousy."

"Steve?" you balked. "Jealous of whom?"

"You can't be that dense, princess. Another pretty boy crashes into your life with his swashbuckling feats and your knight is raring to duel him for your hand. It's all very predictable."

"Steve isn't jealous," you argued, voice a whisper. "He and I have been best friends since childhood. It would be silly to be jealous."

"I agree wholeheartedly. But love is a fickle muse. Makes men do mutton-headed things." She rolled her eyes. "Never saw the appeal of it, personally."

"Aren't you and Clint…?"

Her look made it clear you were overstepping but she answered anyway.

"Clint and I are partners. It's different. We've known each other so long, he's like an extension of myself. I care for him more than anything. But there's none of that foolish posturing like your buffoons do. When you've been alive as long as I have, you tend to see things differently."

"Love can be a great many things," you decided.

"Yes," Natasha smiled; a tiny, genuine peek of teeth. "It can."

You left the room. Steve was exactly where he'd promised he'd be. He searched your body for new marks, satisfied when there were none.

"Don't trust me with your princess?" Natasha simpered.

"No," Steve replied flatly.

"Pooh. We had a lovely chat. Perhaps she'll invite me for tea."

You sat beside Steve, shoulders touching. Immediately, you felt at ease. Natasha busied herself with sharpening an already very sharp dagger. Soon, the shwing of metal was the only sound.

"You should try to get some rest," Steve murmured.

"Hard to sleep," you replied.

Between your kingdom catching aflame and being threatened by snake-women, sleep wasn't exactly at the top of your list. Steve seemed to understand—he always did, always so in tune with you, your Steve—and let you be.

"So," began Natasha, setting the dagger down. "Pierce was your kingdom's advisor. Didn't know that."

"Yes," you replied hesitantly. "For nearly a decade."

"Wow. He's been hiding out there for a long time."

"Hiding?"

"Oh, sure. Pierce is a nasty piece of work. He's made a lot of enemies."

“You know him?” asked Steve.

Her eyes flicked to him. “Many of us do. And we know of your father too, Your Highness. He’s goaded the other kingdoms to shun creatures of magic.”

“I am not my father,” you said. “Everybody should live peaceably.”

"Hm. Still, it’s not as bad as Pierce. His abuse of our kind is heinous.”

“Abuse?”

Natasha pulled her hood past her neck. Your heart sank at the cracked scales, torn and scarred over.

“I’m sorry,” you offered. “I had no idea.”

“Why would you,” she dismissed, pulling her hood back up. “It's not your concern.”

“It is,” you argued. “It involves the well-being of people. Maybe my people, maybe not. But even so, they, and you, deserve kindness.”

She stared at you so long that you turned away, nervous.

“You’ve lost everything," she said. "Yet you still care for others.”

“I haven’t lost everything,” you replied. “I am not alone. And neither are you.”

“I can see why James likes you.”

“How do you two know each other?” asked Steve.

“You ask a lot of questions, Steve.”

“I know.”

She considered him. “Unfortunate circumstances.”

“Meaning?” he pushed.

Natasha’s smile turned brittle. “Meaning it's not my story to tell. I'm sure you'll learn one day. Whether he wants you to or not."

Steve didn't ask any more questions. As the oil of the lamp burned, your eyelids started to feel heavy. Leaning against Steve was comfortable. He was soft without his armor, though still solid.

"Stevie?" you whispered. "Are you awake?"

"Yes." He squeezed your arm. You were slotted beside him, head on his shoulder. "What's the matter?"

"I'm afraid," you confessed in the dim light.

"Afraid of what?"

"Of everything. What if we can never go back? What if my father is…" You winced.

"We will," he promised. "We will go back. I will make sure of it. And whatever happens, you've got me. Always."

You sat up, peering down at where Steve was on his back. The reflection of light shone in his eyes.

"Do you like Bucky?"

Steve blinked. "What?"

"I like him," you continued. "And I wish you would too."

Your eyes met. Steve looked away.

"I'm glad he cares for you. As I do."

"But do you like him?" you pressed.

"He's fine. I've misjudged him, I know."

You lay back down. When your hand slipped into Steve's, he met your gaze again.

"You're my best friend," you said. "You're always my best. Okay?"

Steve lifted your hand to his lips, touch feather-light. Your heart hammered in your chest.

"Sleep.”

This time, Bucky awoke you. The lamp was nearly out.

"You alright?" he whispered.

You nodded sleepily, rubbing your eyes. It was nearly dawn; had he and Clint been out all night?

"I got us a carriage," Bucky said. "But we need to leave now if we want a ride."

"You were gone a long time," you yawned, gently moving Steve's arm off of your waist.

"I know. Clint and I…" Bucky made an odd face. "We ran into a little trouble. Some folks aren't so accepting of magic creatures."

The amber stone in Bucky's ring glowed in the dark. It almost looked like it was moving.

"Is everything okay?" you asked, unable to take your eyes off the ring.

Bucky shoved his hands into his coat.

"Everything's fine. You three were…?" He raised a brow.

"Yes. Natasha was hospitable."

He chuckled. "Well, that's a word nobody's ever used to describe her. Good."

Bucky lightly shoved at Steve's feet, jostling him.

“Up and at ‘em, handsome. Got us a carriage.”

“Huh?” Steve asked. “Y/N?”

“I’m here,” you said, resting a hand on his ribs. “We’re off to the next kingdom.”

You moved quickly after that. At least you wouldn’t draw any attention in your new clothes. You were a new woman—but maybe that wasn’t a bad thing.

Natasha and Clint agreed to take care of Bucky’s ship while he was away. Steve helped you into the carriage while the others chatted, too low for you to hear.

“They must be good friends,” you said.

Steve only hummed.

Natasha nodded sagely at you, a truce of sorts. You returned the gesture and smiled. You thought you saw a peek of teeth from her.

“Minimal stops, right?” Bucky asked the driver, climbing in. “We’re kind of in a hurry.”

“Of course, sir,” said the driver, staring at you. “Only the best.”

You took off, you and Steve on one side and Bucky on the other, back facing the driver. You’d been in carriages plenty of times, and were familiar with the jostling and bumpy roads, especially in the town square back home.

“So what’s this king like, princess?” Bucky wanted to know.

“I don’t really know. My father didn’t let me get too close to politics. I met him once when I was very young. And now I realize I don’t know all that much about what goes on. I’d no idea about the abuse magic creatures faced.”

“Nor did I,” Steve admitted, looking guilty. “They deserve better.”

“Natasha’s passionate about the cause,” Bucky said. “A lot of people suffered under oppressive regimes. Tale as old as time.”

You leaned forward, full of fire. “When I return, I will make a change.”

He smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I believe you, princess.”

Suddenly, the carriage lurched to a stop. You’d been traveling a few hours now, and shouldn’t have stopped until at least nightfall. Peering out the window, you could see nothing but wilderness for miles.

“Driver, why did we stop?” Steve called.

No reply.

Bucky met your eyes and put a finger to his lips. You nodded. Gravel crunching under boots drew your attention to the right side of the carriage.

“Driver?” Bucky tried.

The door swung open. The driver was grinning crazily and clutched a tiny sack that looked kind of like a tea bag.

“A princess shouldn’t be so far from home,” he cackled, dangling the bag.

“Shit!” Bucky yelled. “Get out, get out!”

Steve moved on instinct, leg shooting out and knocking the carriage door shut. It flew into the driver, knocking him backwards.

“Take her!” Steve ordered, drawing his sword.

“Don’t let him touch you with the hex!” Bucky warned.

He pulled you out the other side. You went to grab your things but something sparked beneath the carriage, and suddenly the back erupted in flames. That spooked the horses, who took off, dragging a withering carriage behind them.

“Leave it!” Bucky said, dragging you around towards the wilderness. “Steve!”

Steve drew his sword back, covered in blood. Your stomach lurched, and you turned your face into Bucky’s arm so you wouldn’t see the unconscious body on the ground. He accepted you, gently patting your back.

“That’s great,” Steve grunted as you went into the woods. “No horses either?”

“No,” Bucky grimaced. “But if we follow this path, we should be able to make it to the next kingdom over. It’ll take at least three or four days.”

“I’m terribly tired of running from things on fire,” you sighed.

“I’m sorry, princess. If I’d known, truly—”

“It’s alright, Bucky,” you said. “You got us here in one piece.”

He chewed the inside of his cheek, then slipped off his amber ring. He put it on your thumb so it wouldn’t slip off.

“The driver had magic. Terrible magic. I don’t know what we’ll encounter here but… I need you to keep this on at all times. Okay?”

You stared at the glittering stone. “What does it do?”

Bucky hesitated. “It’s… a good luck charm. Helps in battle.”

“I’m no good in a fight,” you frowned.

“Oh, I don’t know ‘bout that. Seems like you two have your share of spirit.”

You grinned. “Steve more than I.”

“Right. Like I’m the one who smuggled a pirate right under the king’s nose,” Steve snarked.

You stuck your tongue out, bumping his hip. He rolled his eyes. His fingers caught yours, gently intertwining.

“Everything okay?” he murmured.

“I’m alright. Just…”

You made a fist with your other hand, rubbing your forefinger over the ring. You glanced back at where the carriage was, then opened your hand. The stone blazed on, as steady as when you’d first seen it on Bucky at the marketplace.

“You were right,” you decided.

“Hmm?”

“Yeah.” You tucked your ringed hand into your pocket. “People are never what they seem.”

#bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x yn #steve rogers x reader x bucky barnes #stucky x reader #stucky reader fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #royalty au #fantasy au #on wings of fate

139 notes · View notes

cherryelectricboogaloo · 1 year

Text

Letter (#33)

Day 1: Stars

Been some days since I updated you, so here we go, things've been just a little busier!

Moved houses again. You know the one near the 10000y? Yeah, that one! The house's fine, but I've been spending a little time closer to the lake. I set up a shack there for when it's too late to go all the way home—I've been fishing a lot there. It's pretty relaxing, y'know? It just makes me happy. Also helps that some of the villagers like the things I fish. I mean, I think so? They do give me stuff in return. Still don't understand a lick of what they say, but hey, it's been working better than with the last village.

I'm practicing a bit of painting on my free time, between the fishing and the sewing and the building. It's a whole hell of a lot, but I enjoy it. Keeps my head busy and all that, you know? I've got enough time to enjoy all of my hobbies for once, and I'll put some pictures of what I've been doing recently! All for you. I did a lot of building for the villagers, I did a lot of writing (poems, so many poems), I did a lot but I've been thinking a lot.

I miss you.

There. Said it. I miss you a lot, alright? I miss talking with you in person. Are things still that bad there? Did no one find Dream? How is Tommy? How is Tubbo? How are you? I'm really worried about you recently. Have you been taking care of yourself? Sleeping? Making sure to take care of any wounds? Please don't get into fights you can't win. Don't forget that, right? I'm still waiting to see you here.

Actually, I found a beautiful place. You might've seen it since you lived here once, but there's this small hill nearby with many trees, south of the village. There's many birch trees, and I climbed up one of them when I couldn't sleep. (I've been having some issues, but it's been getting better. I'm still thinking of… that, so I can sleep well. Don't make me say it again. I'll get embarrassed.)

The sky was really starry. It looked really pretty, you know? I rarely have the chance to watch the stars.

It reminded me of you.

Fucking hell, everything reminds me of you at this point. Leave my head for once, will you? I gotta have SOME space in my mind for my thoughts!

But yeah. I was watching them, twinkling and sparkling all up in the sky. After all the work I did today, I needed that. I could watch stuff under the sky, the builds with the moon lighting them up, the night sky right behind the tallest bits. I don't think Lusitania had such a pretty landscape, and I'd say the main Dream SMP doesn't even get close. No great craters, no weird builds all close together, just a village and the things I've been doing near your builds. Wonder if it's the same stars you can see from there? They're not the same depending on how far away you are, right?

I hope they're the same. It's a bit comforting to think we might be seeing the same sky, you know? It makes it feel like we're a bit closer.

Well, I slept like a baby after watching the stars for long enough. Don't worry about my back, I made a small platform above the tree and put a mattress there, so it was all pretty refreshing. The night breeze, the open space, it was all really cool! Maybe you should try that from time to time, even if you have to lean back against a tree or something. Make sure your science juice's not sloshing around too much on your helmet, alright?

I hope your day goes well. I'll be trying to get a small treehouse set up so I can repeat this whole thing, but the main project of making that fancy library is still going. This place has a librarian, so I think this is gonna work out!

Following, a picture of Biscoito. He's chirping a lot lately.

Love,

Cher.

#naty cherry #cari the beloved #dsmp oc #dream smp oc #dsmp sona #dsmp citizen pov #long post time #mcytblr's fancharacter fest #purrduo #← everything to me

3 notes · View notes

hazard-and-friends · 2 years

Text

Year 2

Training status, also doubling as a not-quite midway checkin on our 2022 goals

Night time: He virtually always starts in the bed, and some nights will move to the crate. Even if there are blankets on the floor, he now prefers to sleep in his wire crate (yay!!). Twice (once due to sulking, once for unclear reasons) he's slept in the crate all night. Blessedly, he's happy to sleep in.

Crates: Can be crated (door closed) with or without a chew for 5 minutes if I'm in the room, same if I'm not in the room but requiring a chew. Can be crated in a moving van (with me present) for up to 90 minutes before losing it a bit (which is fair). Still working on being crated in the van WITHOUT me. Mostly need to practice.

Medication: Remains on 20mg/daily of fluoxetine, added Purina ProPlan Calming Care about 4 months ago and am furious to find it helpful (at $1/day it's not cheap!!).

Separation anxiety: If I leave first, then Jo can leave, a for real departure, for 15 minutes, or go sit in the car for 30 minutes. If Jo leaves first, I can leave for up to 15 minutes but I have to leave my laptop playing music and I can't take any dog training supplies. Still! Big progress. This puts us at less than 1/4 of the way to our year goal--but the big limit right now is frequency of practice, not success rate.

Cat: Cat.

Weight: 40.7 lbs this week (was 43 at his vet visit in mid March) so pending further developments we'll keep on with Hills SD diet, 1 kong, and assorted treats daily.

Formal training: 75% done with Ailsby's Level 2. Did CGC class, did 2 nosework classes, did a CU class, now doing rally classes. Busy boy! Biggest fancy training projects right now are building a solid stay in all positions and heel duration.

Handling: Has made the LEAST progress. Still can't do his nails. I'm || this close to hiring someone to help us find an access point, because it feels like I'm getting nowhere.

Stranger danger: Is 100% ok with just about everyone as long as they ignore him. Consistently struggles with black men in particular if they move past him quickly or jerkily, otherwise can ignore everyone. Getting better (slowly) about people paying attention to him.

Walks: 40 min in the morning pretty reliably, evening walk hasn't happened as often recently as I've had a lot of evening work. Gets at least one Big Thing a week, usually Saturdays, whether that's dog park or a hike or just running around at work. 3 walks a week are dog-directed walks on a back attach harness, and this last week I haven't taken treats and he's done lovely, which is grand. The other 3 are me-directed on the flat collar, and I'll continue bringing treats for a while yet. But pleased that I can fade them at all for anything, his motivation was so tricky for so long that I didn't want to risk it.

Titles: Now 8 points from his BCAT and 1 run from his CA, both of which (pending bad luck) should happen this month. Failed his CGC test (buddy.) but will test for TKN/TKI at end of June. I'm continuing to put work in on CGC stuff and may try again this summer. Probably the priority after the lure coursing titles is Nosework (AKC has a lower barrier of entry!), then Rally, then Barn Hunt. Why? Because the better I am at NW the more money I can make in classes (only sport that pays for itself honestly), and I like my rally instructor. I don't have a preferred place for barn hunt yet so it's last.

Other updates are that I'm definitely getting pet insurance this week and I am also scheduling him for a dental/nail trim which will be $$$$$$ but oh well. Once the pet insurance kicks in I'm going to talk to someone (vet?) about his hips because I'm still not keen on them.

#training log #my baby baby man #hazard to society

4 notes · View notes

speakingagain · 2 months

Text

Today I had a revelation!

Ha, psyche!

Anyways, today has been a day of rest for me. Yesterday, I got off work, ran a bunch of errands, got my back cracked like a glow stick, felt good for like 15 minutes till the pain set in again (always fun), and then went to do more errands. Then I had work training and then went home and attempted to stay awake so I wouldn't mess up my sleep schedule due to working overnights. I drank coffee with a shot of espresso at the training to help this.

It didn't work. I passed out by 8:30 pm. And then slept till almost noon, woke up with a really bad headache and neck pain, and then I took a 2 hour nap. Sleep is hard, lmao

In good news, I read and then realized I should do something productive today so I cleaned the kitchen. I did struggle to get some burned water stains off my glass stove however (I got distracted from making Mac and cheese) so if anyone has better advice than scrubbing with the scratchy part of a Scrub Mommy, I would appreciate it.

I have plans to eat dinner with my Mom when she gets home from work and then shower. I might dye my hair, my roots are starting to show, and against the red, it makes it look gray. Which ain't a vibe. I'm only 24 and my back pain makes me feel old enough as is.

But I need to clean my bathroom so I can have some counter space to dye my hair. But I should do that now because Mom will probably go to bed right away and the bathroom is right against her ceiling. So I don't want to wake her...but I don't think I want to. Maybe I'll just shower and put it off again.

I've been thinking recently about the list I mentioned in a prior post. My Shit List. Specifically the part where I wrote why I should forgive them.

There wasn't a single answer about forgiving them for their benefits. They all started with, "Because I deserve..."

"Because I deserve to be happy."

"Because I deserve to feel loved."

"Because I deserve to feel safe."

It was weirdly empowering. Like, "huh. I do deserve that." It was as if I actually had a moment when I finally realized I did deserve to be happy.

Which tells me that at one point, I didn't believe I deserved it. And that makes me wonder, what happened to make me believe that I deserved less? At what point did I start believing I didn't deserve to be loved, happy, safe, healthy, or comfortable in my own skin?

I don't think I actually know the answer to that. But I do think that I do deserve to have all those things. I've actually been using it as a motivator for myself. Like, I didn't have the energy to brush my teeth this morning. But, I deserve to have healthy teeth. And I can do something about it to make sure I have that. So I did, I took that control and brushed my teeth.

I don't know why it works, and if it will work for others. But I genuinely am so happy that it means so much to me that it is helping me take control of things so I can improve my life.

I hope someone else can have this sort of thing too. It's made a lot of difference in my life, even though it's been less than 3 days. I guess I will have to return and update later down the road for a long term change. Wish me luck 🤞

0 notes

guitars-and-kaleidoscope-eyes · 9 months

Text

Here Today

Chapter Ten: "They're" Leaving Home

Author's Note:

So it's been a LONG TIME since I've updated this series, and I'm sorry for that. I've been having horrible writer's block, which is why it's taken me so long to get this out. However, during this time, I've been starting the next chapter to Here Today, which means it will be out sooner than usual.

In case you missed previous chapters:

August, 1960

"HAMBURG? OF ALL THE PLACES IN EUROPE YOU COULD CHOOSE, YOU CHOSE HAMBURG!" Mimi shouted at John in the doorway of the house with Paul, George, Stuart, and Pete standing in the doorway akwardly, holding their suitcases and instruments.

"Mimi, lots of other bands have gone there before. And we've got a lot of gigs scheduled there." John argued.

"And what about school? Hm? When do you plan to go back there?" Mimi asked with her hands on her hips.

"I'm not." John answered. "I'm dropping out to focus on the group."

"John, if you aren't even willing to stay in school, at least go out and get a real job!" Mimi said.

"Well I've got a real job Mimi! And we're leaving tonight!" John shouted.

With that, John grabbed his guitar case in his left hand and his suitcase in his right hand and stormed out of the house with his mates following behind him. But they only managed to just make it to the side walk before John heard his aunt yell out the window, "John Winston Lennon! Mark my words, you will never make a carrier out of playing a guitar."

John didn't even flinch at that. The two years of living with Mimi after Julia had died were awful and unbearable. John had managed to get into art school, but soon found his lessons to be long and wasteful to him. It also didn't help that this one girl was consistently being, at least to John, far too proper. Her name was Cynthia. Pretty girl though. John had struck up a conversation with her one day at a pub. He´d learned she was engaged. For some reason, John seemed to have feelings for her. The same he had for Paul. But this was wrong! No, Paul was the one he loved! He had to be.

Early the next morning, the five boys were awoken by a boat whistle and bright sunlight in their faces. Paul opened his eyes and rubbed them. He sat up from the benches the group were sleeping on and rubbed his aching back. He looked around. A few men on a dock were tying the boat to the dock and began unloading cargo.

Paul looked down at his legs to see George was still cuddled up to him, which he had a habit of doing when sleeping next to someone. Anyone who slept with George always woke up being cuddled. It was a bit annoying to Paul at first, but he grew to find it kinda sweet.

"Ey, Georgie." Paul said softly and rubbed his shoulder. George's eyes fluttered open sleepily. "Wanna help me get everyone up? We just arrived." George nodded and sat up, moaning at the aching in his back from sleeping on a hard wooden bench.

"I know. I didn't´t feel any better waking up ethier." Paul said.

The two boys went around waking everyone else. Paul always sort of felt a bit protective of George, always calling him Georgie. He felt a bit sorry for him. He was the youngest in the group and here he was in a completely new country to him at only seventeen. Paul vowed to look out for George while he was here. He was like his baby brother almost.

"Hey! Was denkst du, Kinder, was du tust?" Paul turned around to see a chubby tall man yelling at them in German.

"Eh, Stu, we need your translation skills." Paul said to Stewart, knowing he could speak German. Stewart rubbed his eyes and walked over to the man.

"Sir, wir sind eine Band hier aus Liverpool."

"Ja, das habe ich von den Instrumenten her vermutet."

"Ja, wir haben hier für ein paar Wochen Gigs geplant und wir dachten, ein Frachtschiff zu nehmen wäre der billigste Weg, um hierher zu kommen."

"Das ist in Ordnung. Einfach schnell absteigen. Wir müssen dieses Schiff zurück nach Liverpool schicken."

Stewart nooded at the man and walked back to the group.

"Well what'd he say?" John asked.

"Well I told him that we´re a rock band, which he guessed by the instruments, and that we took the cargo ship because it was the cheapest option. He told us it was fine and that he just needs us off." Stewart said.

"Well you lot heard the man. Lets go." John said, grabbing his bags. The group made their way off the ship and walked into the streets.

"Here we are boys!" John said, lifting his arms in the air with the city behind him.

"So where are we going?" Pete asked. "Have we even got a place to sleep."

"We´ll get to that." John said. "Now-"

"John." Paul said with a stiff voice. "We do have a place we´re going to, don´t we?"

"Yes McCartney, we do." John sneered, coming closer to Paul.

"Alright, where is it then?" Asked Paul. They were now nose to nose.

"Ok, I didn´t actually make plans of where we´re staying at." John mumbled.

"Then where the hell are we going?" George yelled, leaving the band a bit shocked at the normally quiet man raising his voice.

"I´m not sure. I was going to get that organized when we get to the gig we have tonight. It´s from 8:00 to 11:00." John said.

"Fine. Where is the gig?" Paul asked.

"I think the place is called The Indra Club." John said.

"You think?" Paul asked.

"Look McCartney, you want to go, the boat's right over there." John said, pointing to the boat about to leave the dock. "This is the life of a rock star. So ethier tough it up or go home!"

The others somewhat nodded their heads in agreement, then followed John, who was leading them. No one really knew where they were going to, they were all really just following John.

After about an hour of walking, they finally made it to the bar they were going to play at. It was a brick building at the corner of two streets. The band entered through the front doors and walked down the basement steps and into the bar.

"Ey." Stuart said softly, elbowing Paul's arm to get his attention. Paul turned around. "Have you noticed John's seemed a bit tense lately?"

"Well, yeah. But he did lose his mum." Paul said, trying to take John's side.

"But it's been two bloody years already!" Stewart said. "Wouldn't he 'ave... Gotten over it by now?"

"Not really that easy Stu. I mean, his relationship was a bit more complicated with his mum then mine was with me mother." Paul said, growing a bit sad at the conversation. Stuart patted Paul's arm a bit.

There were a few people in the bar. Hardly any, sitting at tables, talking, drinking. John noticed a girl with short blonde hair wiping down tables.

"Oy, bird!" John yelled at the girl, who looked up from the table she was cleaning.

"John!" Paul yelled and smacked his arm.

"Iz alright." The girl said in a German accent.

"Uh, we're The Quarrymen." Paul said, taking hold of the conversation. "We were supposed to play a gig here."

"Ah yez. I heard about you." The girl said with a smile. "I'm Astrid Kirchherr. I work here part time."

"Well 'ello Astrid luv. It's nice to meet you." Paul said with a wink and shook her hand, turning on his McCartney charm. Astrid giggled a bit.

"Astrid! Genug geflirtet! Sie müssen Tische abräumen!" A man yelled in Astrid's direction.

"Sir, das sind die Steinbrecher. Sie sind hier, um heute Abend einen Auftritt zu spielen." Astrid told the man.

"Oh ja, Astrid, sag ihnen, sie können mit dem Aufwärmen beginnen, dann sollten die Leute in einer halben Stunde eintreffen." The man said to her.

"Um, he said you guys can start warming up, then people will start coming in about half an hour." Astrid said. "He's Mr. Bilstein, by the way. He owns thiz pub."

Paul winked at Astrid, earning a dirty look from John, and joined the band on stage.

"So what the hell was that back there?" John asked Paul angerly.

"Just asking her a question." Paul said in an innocent, almost cocky way, while tuning his guitar. John walked closer to him on the small stage.

"You knew danm well what you were doing back there!" John growled. The two were now nose to nose.

"You really want to start this right now?" Paul asked seriously, trying to keep the peace while George, Stu, and Pete watched, confused.

John looked at the other three, then back to Paul. Then repeated that movement.

"Watch it, McCartney!" John growled low.

The performance went well. Well, as well as it could go with the tension between Paul and John. The other three members could feel the tension on the stage. They took turns giving concerned glances at each other throughout the show. There were about thirty people in the audience. By the last ten minutes of the performance, Astrid had taken a seat at one of the front tables, grinning and cheering at the ending of each song.

"Oh! You were wonderful!" Astrid cried when the band had made their way off the stage at the end of the show.

"Thankyou darling." Stewart said with a soft smile.

"I hope Mr. Bilstein wasn't too upset by you taking a ten minute break to watch the show." Pete asked concerned.

"Oh, not at all." Astrid replied, "My shift ended just fifteen minutez ago anyway."

"Well, could we buy you a drink?" Paul asked.

"Uh, actually, we couldn't." John said. "We really have to leave now."

"Oh, already?" Astrid asked, looking a bit sad.

"Oh, we'll be back tomorrow." Stewart quickly added. "You see, we're going to be playing here for the next few months."

"Oh, that'z great! I know the audience loved you tonight!" Astrid said with a smile. "So where will you be staying?"

Stewart looked at the girl with a nervous face, quickly trying to come up with something to say. After all, he couldn't just say that his band had no idea and would probably be homeless during their stay in Hamburg.

"Um, well you see-"

"Uh, we were going to stay at a hostel just a few miles away from here, but they cancelled the reservations we had planned." John made up an excuse. "So if you'll excuse us, we'll now be leaving to find another place to stay."

But just as John was turning around with his band following him, Astrid called out, "Well wait a minute, I might know a place you can stay."

John scuffed and continued to walk backstage where their bags were, but Paul turned around in interest and came back to Astrid, telling the band to wait up for him.

"And where might that be?" Paul asked with a smile.

"Well it'z not really the best place, as a matter of fact, it'z really horrible, but it'z free of charge." Astrid told him. "You see, about fifteen minutes from here, iz a movie theater, that show porn. But they have a small space that was once used as living quarterz for staff. It haz a few mattresses and a loo attached to it. Iz not exactly the best place, in fact, iz right next to the men's loo, but it'z indoors and it has heating for cooler weather."

"Are you sure we'd be able to stay their?" Paul asked, his nose scrunching up at the idea of having to live in some hole-in-the-wall for the next some months.

"My uncle owns the theater, so I'm sure I could persuade him to let you stay." Astrid said.

"Well, I'm sure I could persuade the guys to do it." Paul said.

After ten minutes, the band and Astrid were walking to the theater. It only took about ten seconds to convince George, Stewart, and Pete to go along with it. Though they hadn't imagined being forced to sleep in some dirty porn theater, they were happy to at last have some place in doors to sleep. As for John, it took nearly five minutes. Paul couldn't understand what it was with John not wanting to go along with anything that had to do with Astrid. She seemed like a nice girl. But John ignored her the entire way to the theater. The others made conversation, but John was silent.

Finally, they arrived. The outside was a gray brick building with prostitutes standing in the doorways and garbage littering the streets. Astrid was about to lead them in, when Paul gently grabbed her shoulder to stop her.

"THIS, is where we're staying?" He asked shocked. He had known when The Quarrymen had first left Liverpool, that their living arrangements weren't going to be the best, but he expected nothing like this!

"Yez, unfortunately the buildingz in this part of Hamburg are not the cleanezt, but this is the only place we really have." Astrid sighed.

The group continued their way into the theater. They were lead down a hallway, just past the ticket booth. Astrid took a moment to speak to whom the group assumed was her uncle. After a good ten minutes, Astrid came back to the group, telling them her uncle was going to let them stay. Once they reached the end of the hallway, Astrid pulled a key out of her front right pocket and opened the door. She flipped a light switch and a light fixture on the ceiling illuminated the room.

The room had beige colored walls. A short hallway lead into an open room with a two-seating sofa and a small television set that sat on the floor. A window gave a view of the street. In the corner was a small kitchen area that consisted of two cuboards, a sink, a mini fridge, and a microwave. There was a second hallway next to the kitchen area. Astrid showed the group where the bathroom and each bedroom was. There were three bedroooms. Each bedroom had two matresses laying on the floor, a dresser, and a lamp on the floor. The floors in all of the rooms were concreate.

"So thiz iz the whole place." Astrid said as she finished showing them the rest of the place and handed the key to Paul. "I'm sorry it'z dirty, it'z almost never used, but it'z still free if you all would still like to take it."

"Yes luv," Stuwart said in a flirtatious way, "We'll be glad to"

Later that night, everyone had put their things away and chosen their rooms. Paul and John decided they would share a room, as did Stewart and Pete, and George was given the smaller room to himself.

It was about one in the morning. Everyone except Paul and John had fallen asleep. John was tossing and turning on his mattress while Paul lay looking at the ceiling.

"Ey Johnny, you still awake."

"No! I've been asleep this whole time!" John grumbled sarcastically. "What the hell do you want?"

"I think we should talk about something." Paul said, now looking over at John."

"There's nothing that needs to be said. Now sleep!" John said.

"John, why were you acting the way you were today?"

"Fuck off." He heard John mumble into his pillow.

"Like that." Paul continued. "You've been pissed off for the past month. You're here scaring' me and the lads. What's wrong?"

When Paul couldn't get an answer, he pulled his blanket off of himself and walked over to John. He sat on the edge of the mattress and began running his hand through his sightly curly hair. John could feel the mattress dip down when Paul sat on it. John had to force himself to remain angry with Paul as he felt his hand stroking through his hair. But it was no use. Paul had a way of using his charm to woo anyone, and John happened to fall victim to this.

"I'm sorry Paul." John said. "I've just been going through shit."

"What do you mean?" Paul asked gently.

"Mimi has been hell to live with since... since the accident." John said, obviously referring to Julia's death.

"She and I have been at each other's throats over things we never used to argue about."

John and Paul were silent for a moment. Then Paul brought something else up.

"And another thing John. Why were you so rude to Astrid earlier?"

"That was with something you were doing." John answered. "What was that with you flirting with her?"

"Jealous?" Paul asked.

"Yes!" John answered, much to Paul's surprise. "Of course I was jealous! Why would you do something like that?"

"I... don't know." Paul said. John scuffed at that remark.

"Look, if it will make you happy, I won't do it anymore."

"Good... pigeon chest." John mumbled.

"Pigeon chest?" Paul asked in confusion.

"Yeah, yer chest is less developed." John said.

"Alright," Paul chuckled, "Then I'm gonna call you four eyes."

"Goodnight pigeon chest."

"Goodnight four eyes."

#rock music #fanfiction #the beatles #john paul george and ringo #john lennon #paul mccartney #george harrison #ringo starr #mclennon #fanfic #fan fic reading

1 note · View note

enby-mama · 1 year

Text

Week 7 update

According to my app were currently at 7 weeks, 4 days! Not much note worthy has happened since my first update, got some appointments booked for next week so will maybe have more news by next weekend, but for now, the little updates so far are:

My tolerance levels for sweets has been drastically reducing. Treats I found enjoyable before have quickly gotten old after a few bites and just been too sweet. Been craving lots of savoury things, especially meats, breads, and cheeses. Ate like half a tray of shepherds pie on my own over a span of like 48 hours. Made a sandwhich the other night that had honey smoked turkey and melty cheese on naan, folded over like a taco and filled with pickle spears. It was really good. Haven't had any weird cravings but the cravings are certainly starting

Have had some morning sickness since like week 3 or 4 probably, but so far it's been mostly just not being able to eat food and variable appetite and some nausea, but no upchuck... Till today that is. My brother's in town and we were getting ready for a big family brunch, and my dad was frying up a very large skillet of bacon since we had so many people. Now I've never been a fan of bacon but I've never had the smell even bother my stomach a little. But one moment I was fine, the next I was holding on to the kitchen sink for dear life, and then not a minute later I was feeling so much better and ready for breakfast with the family. My parents were both asking why I was feeling sick, hoping to tell them once we have the all clear from the specialist, which should be by maybe next weekend.

Have had insomnia on and off probably since week 5 or so? And it's struck again, with it being almost 10 am and I haven't slept yet. Our dog had a big surgery day before yesterday so night before last he was crying a lot and kept me up most of the night and really messed up my sleep schedule, so it'll take a few days to sort that out again at least. Training in advance I guess lol.

That's all I can think of right now, other than I've just been exhausted still and often need naps to get through a day.

I'm going to try to remember to do weekly updates? But my memory was shite even before pregnancy so no guarantees lol

#pregnancy #week 7 #first trimester

0 notes

boldlyvoid · 3 years

Text

Million Dollar Man | Chapter Four

18+

summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.

Content warnings: sugar daddy!spencer, age gaps (14 years), daddy kink, blow jobs, kissing, discussion of previous sexual relationships with older men (big age gaps), kink talks, cum play, praise, oral (female receiving), fingering, 69ing... its really dirty i hope i got it all

word count: 3.8k

a/n: updates on Wednesdays and Saturdays

Chapter Four | Masterlist

Waking up beside Spencer is an absolute blessing, he is the most tender and loving man in the whole world and she’s never going to get enough of him. He snuggles so tight, he holds her just right and he’s just big enough that she fits against him like she’s always supposed to have been there.

Her alarm goes off at 10:30 and he doesn’t even budge, she struggles to get out of his grasp to turn it off before he just pulls her right back in.

“I could get used to this,” she coo’s as she relaxes back into his embrace.

He kisses the back of her neck and one of his hands cups her breast. He runs his nose along her skin as he takes it all in, “I can come back every night.”

“Okay,” she smiles at the thought. “Are you coming with me to Brookfield today?”

He hums, “I have something to pick up first but I’ll be back to pick you up.”

“Do you want to meet Craig?” She asks nervously, knowing he knows.

“I’m not sure,” he’s honest. “It’s weird thinking he’s slept with you and he has a thing for my mother.”

“As weird as it was, I don’t regret it, he was really lonely after Patsy died and hadn’t slept with anyone in years,” she explains it again to him, it’s easier than the first time.

“I’m not judging you,” he whispers before kissing her again.

“I know,” she rolls over while still in his grip, pressing her chest against his and kissing him quickly before remembering her own rule, “pretend it’s still dark out.”

He laughs, “was he at least good to you?”

“Are you really asking me if the old man I fucked was good in bed?” She rolls her eyes with a laugh, “it was fine, I was used to just laying there and taking it back then.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes for her past experiences knowing he can change them and that she's content with them, “can I make it up to you?”

“It's not my birthday,” she teases him once more.

“Then why are you in your birthday suit?” He kisses her neck as her back arches, giving him the access to do whatever he pleased.

This was her favourite part of sleeping with him, he was handsy and he kissed everywhere. He was so tentative, he was gentile and sensual and she loved him. The way he kissed her body, his hands on her back as she arched, grinding against him as his leg slipped between hers.

“Daddy?” She’s already breathless as she anticipates whatever he’s going to do to her.

He hums, “what baby?”

“Can we try something?” She looks at him with puppy dog eyes, wanting more of him and knowing exactly how to get it.

“What?” He looks from her eyes to her lips and back.

She smirks, “lay back?”

He does as she asks and she makes a quick move to straddle him, reverse cowgirl, and it makes him gasp. He hooks his arms under her legs and pulls her hips towards his face as she grips his cock at the base.

She’s never done this before, excited to finally experience her two favourite things at once, with her favourite person. Taking him in one go down her throat as far as she can, he moans against her thigh as he works his way towards her dripping core.

He pulls her in closer, burying his tongue inside of her as she swirls her tongue around the head of his cock, stroking what doesn’t fit in her mouth. She moans around him as he sucks her clit into his mouth. When he slides a finger into her, she gasps as she runs her tongue along the shaft, “more please, daddy?”

He adds a second finger and curls it with each thrust, she strokes him in time with his fingers rubbing her tongue on the slit, pushing him closer and closer and closer until he’s moaning into her cunt as he finger fucks her relentlessly.

She cums on his face with a quake, her whole body shaking as she sucks one of his balls into her mouth and keeps jerking him. He cums over her hand then, finally releasing her clit from his mouth, they both sigh as they come down from their highs.

She rolls off him, feet on her pillow and hand cupping her own breast as she tries to catch her breath, “yeah, I can get used to waking up next to you.”

—

“Bullshit!”

Y/N reaches for the apparent 3 4’s that Craig dropped in the pile, filling them to see he was indeed truthful and handing them to Diana. “You’re slacking today.”

“I do so much better when I don’t know who he is,” Diana smirks as she takes the cards.

“Speaking of,” she smiles to herself as she looks through her own cards, “your son, Spencer, is coming to see you today.”

“How do you know that?”

“I might be dating Spencer,” she scrunches her face in anticipation of her reaction.

“Really?”

She nods, a smile building on her face as she starts to feel a bit flustered, “yeah, I met him last year and we’ve been friends for a while but it’s getting serious, so I thought I’d tell you.”

She’s quiet as she thinks about it and Y/N’s anxiety goes to full blast, “I’m so sorry.”

“Why?” Diana asks.

“For not telling you and pretending I don’t know him,” she's quick with her response. “He knows we know each other from your notes but we didn’t talk about it until last night, I feel so bad keeping that from you but I've known him the whole time.”

“I was going to introduce you to each other in the hopes you would take care of him, you’re wonderful and he needs someone who he doesn’t have to look after. I’ve thought you would be good for him for quite a while actually,” Diana compliments her with a smile. “Try calling bullshit on that.”

It makes her laugh, leaning over into Diana’s space as she wrapped her arms around Y/N, “well as good as I am to him, he’s even better to me.”

Holding Diana was nice, she missed her moms so much that it was a good substitute until she saw her own again.

“How did you meet?”

Y/N pulls back with a stutter, “uh, well we met online actually and he took me to dinner and we got to talking and we’ve been really good friends for a while, he uh, he’s the reason I’m getting my book published.”

“Really?” She blinks a few times the way Spencer does when he tries to absorb information.

She wasn’t dumb, she knew her son had money and he was a lot older than her and that meeting on the internet isn’t as innocent as it sounds.

“He’s my best friend.”

She smiles again, “that’s the key to a successful relationship.”

Craig was quiet the whole time, staring at his cards and drinking his water while they talked. “For what it’s worth,” he adds, “I think he’s lucky to have you, you’re a good woman.”

Y/N’s so busy looking at Craig with a smile that she doesn’t notice Spencer walk-in or the way Diana gleams at him. He walks up behind her and rests his chin on her shoulder, “Hey, pretty woman.”

She jumps slightly before laughing, he wraps his arms around her and kisses her cheek quickly, “hey mom,” he makes his way from Y/N to Diana.

Hugging her quickly before coming to sit beside Y/N again, he notices Craig too and waves, “nice to meet you as well, sir.”

She analyzes his face as he looks at Craig, worried that he’s going to go full alpha male and start a fight or something crazy like her old boyfriends would. But he smiles and he’s calm, he holds her hand and they play another few rounds of cards and it's like they’ve all been friends for years.

Visiting hours are about to come to an end when Spencer finally brings it up, “how would you feel if I moved to LA for a little while?”

She’s really confused, “are you getting a transfer at work?”

“No, Y/N has a job offer and I’d like to go with her,” he’s honest with his mom, it’s easier than with anyone else. “I’ll travel here whenever you need me, and once a week just to say hello.”

“Or I can finally go back to Vegas,” she says it like she’s been thinking about it for a while. “I miss my friends and my sister, Spencer.”

“And I’m thinking about moving there as well so my pneumonia isn’t as bad this winter,” Craig adds, sitting closer to Diana than before and taking her hand.

Spencer looks very uncomfortable and Y/N can feel it radiating off him, “my moms are also in Vegas, it would be nice for all of you to be close.”

“I think that would be nice,” Spencer agrees, “and then we can just take a short trip to Vegas once a week to visit with you.”

“That would be lovely,” Diana smiles, “even on my bad days I don’t forget who Craig is to me, I know he’s my best friend in here and I’m really glad you’re comfortable with this.”

Spencer smiles, it’s awkward for him to know everything that he knows, and by the way Craig looks at him, he knows Spencer knows.

“Please, just take care of her,” is all Spencer has to say to him. “I’ve already been to prison once.”

“Spencer,” Diana scolds him while trying not to laugh at the absurdity.

“I’m kidding,” he smiles, “I’m happy that you’re happy.”

“It’s only taken us 30 years,” she reaches out a hand for Spencers, “but we did it.”

It’s a beautiful moment that Y/N gets to witness, she holds a hand to her heart as Spencer wraps his arms around his mom. She was doing amazing, she was happy and even happier that Spencer was happy.

“We did it,” Spencer agrees, holding her close, always a mama’s boy at heart.

—

They stop at his apartment on the way home, he needed some things for the next 2 days and his suitcase for this weekend. His apartment was always so dark and cold, the green was beautiful but it was far too sad. It didn’t feel like Spencer, it didn’t have his energy or personality, it was just a few walls and a bunch of books.

She sits on his couch and touches her necklace, remembering when he gave it to her and how she thanked him. He was rummaging around in his room without her, leaving her with time to just think about sucking him off on this couch, being between his legs, the feeling of him in her mouth, knowing she already had him this morning but she still wants him again.

She gets up from her seat and walks into his bedroom, pushing him up against the wall, he’s a little startled but he smirks, “what?”

“Is there a word for ravenous for dick?” She teases.

“Horny,” he responds with a giggle, “ovulating? Frustrated, deprived, desperate... slut.”

“I like the last 2 together.”

“What else do you like?” He whispers as she leans in to brush their noses together, “we’ve never discussed your needs, you’ve always just asked about mine, but this isn’t all about me.”

“It was when you were paying me,” she rationalizes, “I’m pretty basic, I’ll try anything once.”

“But what do you like the most?”

“You,” she’s honest. “How big you are for one, the fact you can just throw me around like a rag doll if you wanted… I like your hands, and your mouth and I like how you talk, I like how sweet you are, I like how we could do the dirtiest fucking things in the whole world with each other. I like that we could do the roughest, kinkiest and most intense scenes and yet I’m completely safe with you.”

He swallows and his Adam's apple bobs right in her view, she can’t help herself from kissing his neck, licking along the pulse point before sucking a deep purple mark into his skin, “what do you like besides me?”

“Praise,” she whispers.

“Good girl.”

“Mild degradation,” she kisses his neck again and starts to unbutton his shirt. “Spanking, raw missionary and messy kisses,” every new thing comes with a kiss as her hands reach down to palm him through his slacks, “pleasing my partner, knowing you get off to me, watching, being watched, belonging to you.”

He takes her chin in his hands and makes her look up at him, “in what sense?”

“Mark me, claim me, breed me,” she whispers and his eyes darken, she swears there is a growl that leaves his throat.

“I want everyone to know I’m yours, show everyone who I belong to, let everyone know only you can please me and show them that no one is better for me than my daddy.”

“You’re evil saying all this knowing I'm not going to fuck you yet,” his voice has never been this low, his eyes are black and the grip he has on her is so tight it makes her gasp.

“You asked,” she smirks, “and if you expect me to be an obedient little submissive, you’re very wrong. "

He gulps and the mood changes very quickly.

"I’m a brat and I’m a switch, and I have more control here than you do.” She tightens her grip around his cock and he whimpers, “that’s what I thought.”

She undoes his button and takes him out, licking her palm while making eye contact with him, she then wraps her hand around him and pumps up and down his shaft. Gathering his precum that’s collected from simply listening to her, his hand on her chin had made its way into her hair and his other grips her hip tighter than ever before.

“I want to fuck all day long,” she whispers, leaning in more and brushing her bottom lip against his, “I want you to come and find me when you’re bored and just bend me over and take me, I want to just sit on your lap while to read and ride you, I want to fall asleep with you deep inside me and wake up full of your cum.”

He tosses his head back against the wall, groaning as she slows her movements. She drags her hand up, squeezing at the head as he thrusts back into her hand, all she can think about is how good it’s going to be when he’s pushing inside of her, not just in her fist.

“Does it feel good, daddy?” She teases him again, “are you thinking about my tight little pussy? Hmm?”

“Gonna cum,” he whispers.

“I don’t think that's how you ask.”

His hips sputter as he fucks her hand, “please, mommy?”

It’s so unexpectedly hot she clenches around nothing, aching for him with how horny she is, she drops to the floor, wrapping her mouth around the head, he cums within seconds. She pumps every last drop onto her tongue before standing and connecting their mouths once more, swapping his cum back into his own mouth, but he doesn’t swallow.

He simply picks her up and tosses her onto the bed, pulling her jeans and panties down and off one leg to expose her dripping pussy. He lifts her hips and spreads her open, running a finger over her clit before spitting his own cum into her.

It’s such a sight, she gasps at the feeling. It’s so hot and wet and then he’s pushing it in with two fingers and fucking them into her. Rubbing her clit at the same time, she cums by surprise, it’s so intense all she can do is grip her breasts and wrap her legs around him for support. She trembles, moaning and whining as he keeps going, curling his fingers just right to rub her g-spot and keep the sensation roaring as long as she lets him.

She lives in the feeling as long as possible before it starts to get to be too much, “okay,” she’s breathless and exhausted, lying there with her eyes closed when he pulls his fingers out of her, falling asleep from how relaxed her whole body is.

—

Spencer was in her bathroom brushing his teeth for the night while she slipped into her PJs.

She felt giddy, like a kid on Christmas Eve, thinking about how exciting tomorrow would be that the prospect of sleeping seemed almost impossible. She couldn’t wait to hold him and snuggle him and feel the way he kisses her shoulder when he rolls over. She loves him so much that sleeping beside him is almost more important to her than anything else they do together.

Because when he sleeps, his guard is down. When he sleeps beside someone, it’s because he’s truly and fully safe with them. He’s told her about all the people he’s slept with, how many of them didn’t stay the night and how many he’s walked out on. She knows he’s not a fan of sleepovers from his childhood and he’s never been in a long-term relationship to even consider sharing a bed with someone before her.

In the beginning, he didn’t want to sleep beside her because he knew he’d catch feelings, she understood and so they bought a pull-out couch for her apartment. He would sleep in her living room and she would lay awake in her bed thinking about how much better it would be if she could cuddle with him until she drifted off to sleep.

She crawls into her bed and watches the bathroom door as she rubs hand lotion into her skin, hoping he actually comes back to her like he promised and doesn’t retreat to the living room. She smiles at him when the door opens and his sight goes right to her wrists as she smoothes the lotion over her skin.

“I forgot to give you your present today,” he gasps and rushes to his suit jacket in the closet.

He comes back to bed with another box, “how much jewellery are you going to buy me?”

“Two more of the gifts are jewellery,” he smiles as he opens the box for her.

It’s a silver bracelet with diamonds and Rubys in a heart shape, like the necklace in pretty woman turned into a bracelet. It’s so pretty she doesn’t know how to react, “you’re crazy, you know that?”

He nods with a smile, “crazy for you.”

“Don’t,” she raises her brows with her pointer finger raised, shushing him. “You know what being all lovey-dovey does to me, and I'm tired.”

It makes him laugh, “I’m just going to leave this on the dresser.”

She takes it from him and stops him from getting up, “no, I’ll just leave it on here, just get into bed, please?” She moves it to her night table and pulls the sheets back so he can get into bed with her. She turns off the lamp on her night table and watches him lay back on his side of the bed.

She snuggles into his chest and places her face in the crook of his neck. Holding him as close as humanly possible, he smells like home and safety.

“I love you so much, Spencer,” she whispers it, feeling very needy and emotional and she has no idea why.

He simply kisses the top of her head while soothing his hand over her back, “I love you just as much, Y/N.”

It was rare for them to use each other's real names, so much of their time together was spent in silence but when it wasn’t, they referred to each other with a long list of different pet names. It made it less personal, it kept their real lives separate and created a world where they just existed with each other.

A world where he wasn’t Spencer Reid with 3 PH.D.s, a drug problem and a sick mother. When he was with her he was just a guy who liked to explore. He was her buddy who took her to museums and concerts, he was her daddy who held her hand when they walked to the park together to play chess, he was her sweetheart on nights when he cried and needed some love.

Tonight he’s just Spencer.

He’s everything he’s been before and nothing like his old self all at the same time. He’s constantly having a breakthrough, he’s broken through ceilings of grief and trauma, grown past the names he’s been called and adjusted to the fact this is how his life is and he's not as evil as he thinks he is.

He’s happy and content. He’s so much different now than how he was when she met him and while he likes to thank her for that, he always had the power to get here. It was a long road to recovery, he just happened upon her on the path and brought her along for the journey and now she’s never going to leave him.

“Are you crying?” He asks, bringing her back to reality to notice that yes, she is indeed crying.

She nods and sniffles, wiping her tears with his t-shirt. “I’m sorry, I’m just tired.”

“Hey,” he pets her hair and waits for her to look up at him. “What do you say when I apologize for crying?”

“Don’t apologize, your feelings are important to feel so you can move past them,” she whispers the mantra her parents raised her on, something that really helped him.

“I'm not crying because I’m hurting,” she whispers. “I’m crying because you’re not anymore.”

“What?”

She realizes it comes out weird, “I’m proud of you, and I’m happy that I get to love you now.”

“How long have you loved me?” There’s a small sadness in his voice like he wishes he could have moved faster for her.

“Since you told me you’d help me get my book published just for going to museums with you,” she whispers, “because you saw me as talented and worthy of greatness and you wanted to help me succeed instead of wanting to pay me to suck your dick in a more legal way.”

“I was in it for a friend,” he’s said it before, “it was easier to pay someone to hang out with me than stumble across someone who would understand me this well.”

“I can’t imagine you just going to a park and striking up conversations with someone,” she laughs, “I think it was just meant to happen like this.”

He sighs, “I’d do it again.”

“What?” She’s too tired and sad to follow his train of thought.

“I’d go through all the pain and trauma again, exactly the same way if it brings me right back here. Right to you.”

She pulls back from his neck and connects her lips to his faster than ever before, kissing him deeply as she cries again.

“I love you,” she whispers against his lips between kisses, he whispers it right back.

Permanent tag list:

@g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @shemarmooresfedora @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @blanchardsbk @idonotexiste @measure-in-pain @dreams-in-blxck @doc-padfoot @nomajdetective @xoxospencerreid @mggswhorificlover @dinonuggets1967 @meganskane @encyclo-reid-ia @kya-li @reidsbookclub @muffin-cup @sassymoon @shirleyrose @reidsacademia @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @spooky-goob @anaagraceeberr @idonotexiste

Sugar daddy fic

@mggs-sidehoe @bakugouswh0r3 @mggskneescrews @moonlight-2-6 @spencerreidscumwhore @my-thoughts-are-weird @violetclifford @youabitchhhh @bunny-script @baby-i-am-fireproof @moondustmemories @rexorangecouny @minervaonmars @onlyhereforthefanfics @anonymous-reading @go2sleepducky @beepbooptoop @emma-is-a-nerd

@ne--yo-pets @valerieweasley @coldlilheart @andiebeaword @bingereid

some just wont tag no matter what I do, idk why tho

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #mdm #sugar daddy spencer

452 notes · View notes

laskyy · 3 years

Text

Hey everyone! Sorry for the wait, but I didn't have much inspiration this week. This imagine that I wrote is probably not gonna be my best, but I hope you enjoy it, because I still worked hard for it! Love you 💖

¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬

Took you long enough

Tw: food, kissing (let me know if I missed something pls)

Genre: extreme fluff

---------------------------------------------------

It was around 8:30 a.m. when you heard your phone ring, so you picked it up without looking at the caller ID because you were to sleepy to care at this point.

"Hello?" You said in a groggy voice.

"Hi sleeping beauty, did I wake you up?" The voice you couldn't get out of your head giggled.

"Oh Intak! Hi there, and well kind of, but I was about to wake up anytime soon so it's fine!" You said as your voice just sounded happier, because of Intak.

Oh and by the way you had a big fat crush on Intak and you were pretty sure he felt the same way, because you guys shared a lot of affection with each other that friends don't. Like kissing the corners of each other's lips, you have slept together in the same bed and you shared longing hugs that neither of you guys wanted to pull away from, but you were still being cautious as you didn't want to move to fast and scare him away.

"Okay then! I called to ask if you wanted to come over and have breakfast with us! You know, to catch up since we've both been busy and I want to see you, if that's okay with you." Intak said in a soothing tone and at this point you were thankful he couldn't see you blush.

"I'd love to come over Intak! I also want to see you." You said and you were sure that Intak could tell by the tone of your voice that you were smiling.

"Alright! I'll see you in 20 cutie!"

"Okay, see you!" You said as you hung up and couldn't help but blush at the nickname.

You got ready and passed by your and Intak's favourite bakery to buy some croissants and other pasteries for everyone to eat.

As you got to the dorm you texted Intak instead of knocking on the door, because you didn't know if the other boys were already awake or not.

As soon as you texted him the door opened and your favourite boy was standing right in front of you with his slightly messy hair.

"Good morning Y/n! Come in!" Intak said as he closed the door and pulled you into a warm hug.

"Good morning! How are you feeling today?"

"I'm great! And you love?" Yeah, you weren't that great after hearing that nickname, it drove you wild! And you guys weren't even dating yet!

"I-I'm good too! And I brought some food!" You said happily as you pulled away from the hug and showed him the bag of pasteries.

"Aww Y/n! You're just the sweetest! Come here, let's go to the kitchen while the other get ready to come down to eat." He said as he grabbed your hand and guided you to sit down on one of the chairs in the kitchen next to him.

"I really missed you Y/n! Can I hug you again?" He said as he gave you those puppy eyes you could never say no to.

You didn't even hesitate, you obviously accepted as Intak englufed you in a beat hug as he put his arms around your shoulders and you put yours around his torso.

"You smell really good!" You said against his chest.

"Oh, thanks I showered!" He said as you both laughed and pulled away from the hug.

Intak was the most handsome guy you had ever laid eyes on. And as cheesy as it sounds you could not stop looking at him. He was just that impactful (Intaktful - no? Sorry, moving on).

"What's wrong cutie? Is there something on my face or you just can't get enough of me?"

You laughed "Oh, you are so full of yourself. But yes I was admiring you, I have to admit it"

"It's good to know you're as smitten for me as I am for you" He said and kissed the corner of your lips softly.

You couldn't help but blush and hide your face in his broad chest as you felt it vibrate with laughter.

"You're so cute when you're shy." He said as he gave you head pats.

You guys pulled away and were just updating each other on your livres while you played with Intak's fingers, a habit that always made you feel at ease.

Eventually, the boys started coming to the kitchen and they couldn't miss the small acts of affection and little looks and giggles you shared with their member Intak, and honestly they just wanted you guys to stop tip-toeing on your feelings. They wanted you guys to realise you were, in fact, perfect for each other.

"Good morning lovebirds!" Jiung said as he softly laughed.

"Good morning!" Both you and Intak answered at the same time.

"Oh who brought food?" Soul asked as he saw the bag from the bakery down the street.

"It was Y/n! They were kind enough to bring food for breakfast!" Intak said as he pulled you closer to him.

"You brought quite a lot as well, but since you were so considerate I'm sure Intak won't let it go to waste!" Keeho said teasingly.

Intak blushed as he looked at your interwined hands.

"Aww look at them being awkward!" Theo said as he looked at Intak and you.

"Yeah They're cute! But I'm hungry and we have work later on so we need to eat!" Jongseob said as he sat down on one of the chairs as well.

You guys were eating and you lost count of how many times Intak wiped your lips or even got hair out of your face. You also lost count of how many times the members gagged! Yeah, they sure love pda.

Once you all finished eating you offered to clean up since they needed to recharge for work later in the day.

You were cleaning the kitchen when Intak wrapped his arms around your waist and softly backhugged you.

"Hey cutie, need help?"

"Hey! It's fine I'm almost finished!"

"Good, because I wanna cuddle!"

While you and Intak shared this sweet conversation in the kitchen, the other members were talking in the living room.

"Don't you guys think it's about time they start dating?" Theo stated impatiently.

"Yeah, but they just won't make a move to ask each other!" Keeho said.

"Maybe if we say something they'll consider it?" Soul said in a questioning way.

"THAT'S A GREAT IDEA! But they won't listen to just anyone. How about Jongseob says something about that! Since he's the baby and yeah you get it!" Jiung suggested while the other nodded in agreement.

Later on in the day the guys had to head off to the van so they could go to the company and it was also time to get the plan in action!

"Can we meet up tomorrow?" Intak asked as he caressed your cheek softly.

"Yeah, I'd love that actually." You said and pecked his cheek while he giggled softly.

"Look at them! We really have to do something! They've been in this stage for ages! They already look like a couple why do they assume themselves as friends? My God Jongseob do your thing!" Jiung said as he just wanted his two friends to understand they both wanted the same thing.

The boys went to the door and blocked it as Jongseob went in front to talk.

"Intak, Y/n. I just wanted to say that the both of you would look like a great couple! I mean you already do, why not make it Official! Please! You guys want this so bad! And we're not letting you get out until you're both dating each other, so good luck!" Jongseob said as he exited the dorm alongside the other members and let you two stay inside.

"Wow that was... Wow!" Was all you manage to say as you were still in shock.

"Yeah! But well we wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of them would we?" Intak said as looked you in the eyes.

"But do you really want this? I don't want us to date just because of peer pressure!" You said as you wanted to make sure Intak really wanted to be with you.

"I really want this! The reason I hadn't asked you yet, was because I never found the right moment to do it but now that they sort of gave us this oportunity I'm not wasting it! Do you want this as much as I do?" He said as he held both of your hands as a way to calm you down.

"I really do! I've been waiting for this for a long time! I didn't ask you before because I didn't want to scare you away!" You said as you smiled shyly.

"Well then, do you want to date me officially?" Intak asked as he looked at you hopefully.

"Of course I do bub!" You said as you hugged him tightly" You said and you could hear the members on the other side of the door cheering for you.

When you pulled away Intak kissed you right away and honestly it felt better than you could have possibly imagined.

"I love you Intak" You said as you pulled away from the kiss.

"I love you too Y/n" He said while leaning in for another kiss which you gladly accepted.

After a while you opened the door and were met by the members cheering for you.

A chorus of "Awws" was heard when Intak kissed your head softly.

"Took you long enough!" Theo said as the rest of you laughed.

---------------------------------------------------

Hope you guys liked this imagine! And once again happy birthday to our puppy Intak! Hope he has a great day! And I hope you guys have a great day as well!! Love you 💖💖💖

#p1harmony #p1harmony fluff #p1h imagines #p1h scenarios #hwang intak #intak #intak p1h #Intak fluff

55 notes · View notes

evergardenwall · 2 years

Note

Omg please be safe!!!!! And please keep me updated, if you don't mind/have the energy!!! And if you need to talk about it, I've had covid myself (and as you know, my mom passed away from it), so I'll understand. Also please make sure you're getting plenty of rest and fluids!!!

remi 🥺

thank you so much; i’ll do my best to stay safe. i’m really worried for my grandparents, though; i know we have the immense chance to all be vaccinated (including the booster) and hopefully it won’t be serious if they do catch it, but... yeah.

we have been irresponsible and could’ve avoided the risk by taking a test earlier, but my mom was convinced it couldn’t be covid, i rarely go out and spend a lot of time on my own in my room, and i avoided being too touchy with them — we put distance between us both when eating meals and when sitting on the couch/chairs in the living toom while they were at our place, but we still were unmasked (except when we were in the car driving them back to their place), and my grandma slept in my room (in a bed opposite to mine and we aerated, but still...) so ye :| lots of stupidity in this story. my mom didn’t insist on us wearing masks the rest of the time, and i didn’t dare to insist on wearing mine more because i didn’t want to upset her, which was was so stupid of me. like. genuinely. why did i do that. why did i let my guard down when this was THE most important moment and people to be careful with. i don’t have any excuse here, i became a part of the problem 🙃 i’m really praying they didn’t contract it from being around me and the rest of my family, but. god. i had a responsibility and i didn’t honor it

as for my current state — i’ve mostly been feeling feverish and sleepless. i’ve started dealing with that kind of insomnia that makes you collapse at 9pm, then wake up at 4am unable to fall back asleep at the same time I’ve started being feverish (which is. extremely annoying) EVERY. NIGHT. for nine days now. i feel like i have a cold that decided to last longer than usual and deprive me from getting a good night’s sleep... since i started getting these symptoms on the 9 and 10th of april, i assumed it was because of when i walked in the cold rain only wearing a denim jacket the day before and then in the sun for hours without a hat the following day, but nope lmao. just a good ol’ rona 🤡

i also lost a bit of my appetite + my eyes are dry and sore, but i didn’t experience any smell or taste loss; i’m just. really tired and the fact it’s the presidential elections in France rn and i’m checking the news more often than usual probs doesn’t help much with my mood BUT! i started feeling better than in the beginning of the week; recovery seems to be coming ahead. thank you so, so much for checking in with me, and reminding me to drink, too. i’m going to do this right now 😭

#replies #remi

10 notes · View notes

mellometal · 3 years

Text

ATTENTION: This is some recent information about the current events with Chris Chan that I've been able to find, plus additional information that I couldn't find anything on that is now public knowledge.

ALL videos about any updates will be linked so you can watch them for yourself, if you wish.

Again, OBLIGATORY trigger warning: This post will be going into very sensitive subject matter, including r@p3, s3xual assault, elder abuse, and inc3st. I will also be mentioning the site Kîwî F@rm$ and the person who runs it (Null). DON'T go onto Kîwî F@rm$. Just stay away from there. It's like 4chan (another site full of REALLY fucked up shit, depending on which forum you go to), but worse.

If anything I mentioned is triggering for you or makes you otherwise uncomfortable in any way, you don't have to read this post. It's not worth putting yourself in a bad state mentally. Take care of yourself, please. Consume media that sparks joy for you.

ALRIGHTY, LET'S GET TO IT. Because there's quite a lot of bullshit that happened since the first post I made about the current events. And some more information that will most likely be the nail in the coffin for Chris. I'm patiently waiting for more updates as they come and I'll share them here as soon as possible.

The person Chris was in a call with was revealed to be a troll under the name "Bella". The screenshots of messages and the audio from the call have all been confirmed to be real.

It's also been revealed that Chris confided in Null about her having a girlfriend, having s3x with her, all that. Here's a list of things to describe this "girlfriend" below, which I will compare to Barbara in bold:

This woman is "in her over fifties". (Barbara is eighty years old. Most people would assume that someone's in their late fifties when this terminology is used. Eighty is well over fifty.)

Her favorite person was the late Adam West in the 60s, as it was "for her son back then". (I don't know if Chris is referring to her half-brother Cole Smithey [he does movie reviews, and he's most famous for being one of the only people to give Toy Story 3 a negative review] here, or if she's referring to herself before she came out as trans. I'm adding this here anyway.)

Chris has known this woman "for a long time", offline and in-person. (OBVIOUSLY she's known Barbara her whole life, since she's, AGAIN, HER MOTHER! DUH.)

They've been having s3x "every three nights". (Like how Chris admitted to doing to her defenseless mother. PRETTY FUCKING FISHY, IF YOU ASK ME.)

They began having s3x on June 27th. (The same day that Chris admitted to doing to Barbara.)

This woman was an accountant when she was younger. (Barbara's job was EXACTLY this.)

Chris said she feels grateful to "enlighten" her girlfriend with s3x play that she (the woman) "missed from even her exes". (I didn't mention this in my initial post, but if you chose to watch the videos that were linked, Chris mentioned that Barbara's boyfriends and ex-husbands "have never been able to make her 0rg@$m" like Chris did. SHE EVEN MENTIONED HER LATE FATHER. THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING AND DISRESPECTFUL.)

Chris has been "keeping her girlfriend safe" too. (She had been "taking care of Barbara" since Bob, her late father, passed away. This right here is proof alone that she was talking about HER MOM!)

Her girlfriend "didn't want to do it at first", it was "very painful" for Chris's girlfriend in the beginning, and it took a few tries for them "to get going". This included Chris doing it FOR her because she thought her girlfriend would "feel better" due to her lack of mobility and lucidity. (Chris said all of this exact stuff TO "BELLA" during their call.)

Null initially thought that Chris was lying about sleeping with her mother to cover up the fact that she had a girlfriend and having s3x with her. Why? Because apparently people would believe Chris would have s3x with her mother than some other unknown woman. Chris told Null to keep her girlfriend's identity secret because she was afraid her girlfriend would get trolled and she'd end up losing her.

What Null realized was that what Chris told him completely matched the description of Barbara. Note that before he looked into this, he was unaware of the context Chris was giving him about her "girlfriend".

It's extremely possible now that Chris admitted to s3xually assaulting Barbara to Null and "Bella", but she wanted Null to keep it confidential. Chris wanted NULL to keep the fact that she admitted to committing a VERY serious crime A SECRET.

If Chris WAS actually lying, she'd use a lot more CWCisms (her own phrases) or say that she was "using her psychic powers" to have s3x with Barbara's fictional counterpart in another dimension. But no, Chris was VERY straightforward and talked about it casually like if you were to talk about the weather.

Chris, according to Null, slept in a parking lot in her car the other night. At least for a few hours, though I don't remember where the FUCK else she slept (maybe a hotel room eventually), considering she had -$200 in her bank account. I believe some people who are in contact with Chris sent her some money to get food too.

Null revealed that he set up a GoFundMe previously for Chris to attend a Brony convention, which was a test to see how Chris would be able to handle commissions. The GFM was successful, to say the least. Chris fulfilled commissions successfully, DESPITE NOT WORKING ON THE FUCKING COMIC. Y'KNOW, THE THING SHE'S PAID FOR ON PATREON TO DO!

Well, due to recent events, he has since taken down the GFM and is refunding all the money to all the donors. He was debating on sending Chris money (the GFM money, since Chris isn't able to go to the Brony convention), but he decided not to do so. He told Chris to sleep in her car, spend the night under the stars, and reflect on her current situation until the morning, when Null would help her find a temporary roof over her head until August 5th.

Barbara tightly manages Chris's finances. Those are Null's words, not mine. You want to know why Barbara's been having trouble with the house and shit? CHRIS HAS BEEN STEALING MONEY FROM HER FOR YEARS. HER CREDIT IS ALL SORTS OF FUCKED, SHE'S BURIED IN DEBT, AND IT'S CHRIS'S FAULT. THE PERSON WHO'S SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING CARE OF HER.

How did we find out about Chris recently getting more money, specifically $750? Well, Null has had access to Chris's emails for the past few years (Chris knows this), and he found an email that Barbara had sent Chris money.

That's a violation of the EPO (Emergency Protective Order) that was put into affect for Barbara. Chris was NOT supposed to contact Barbara in ANY way, shape or form.

Null asked Chris about this and told her that this was a violation of the EPO. He asked her if her mom sent her money. Chris denied it at first, and then went into the whole goddess bullshit she goes into. She then admitted to accessing Barbara's banking account online and wiring the $750 to HER account. Chris also said that she'd pay her back the $750 after receiving the $1000 that Null was supposed to send to Chris. Null was obviously upset with what Chris had done. Who wouldn't be?

Guess what Null did in reaction to what Chris told him? HE BLOCKED CHRIS AND REPORTED HER TO THE POLICE. I'm honestly surprised he stuck with her this long. He genuinely wanted to see Chris become a better person.

It's only a matter of time for Chris's arrest. With all this information that's out there now, more information probably coming very soon, plus people close to Chris confirming all of this....I feel it's safe for me to say that Chris did s3xually assault her mother.

I don't feel bad for Chris anymore. I have no sympathy for Chris. Any ounce of respect for this person has been long since gone. I don't feel comfortable even referring to Chris as a person. She's a monster.

I talked about Chris a few times a few years ago on Instagram, and I got yelled at for tearing this motherfucker apart. Because apparently I was an "ableist bully" for having my grievances with Chris, despite the fact that I'm autistic too and I've never "bullied" Chris for being autistic. Not even once. My grievances had more to do with Chris using her mother and their animals to exploit them for her own monetary gain INSTEAD OF TRYING TO FIND A JOB. I've even tried to suggest that she go work through a temporary work industry and get paid daily. (At that time, I didn't know that trying to interact with Chris wasn't a very good idea. I've since learned, obviously.)

Here's a link to Gibi's video:

youtube

Dillon Thomas's video:

youtube

The stream with Null:

youtube

Geno Samuel's stream:

youtube

Here's Rogue's video and live stream he did about the situation. Rogue is one of my FAVORITE YouTubers, as edgy as his content is.:

youtube

Thank you for your time.

#mello speaks #tw chris chan #chris chan #anti chris chan #tw sex assault #tw r@pe #tw elder abuse #cw kiwi farms #cw 4chan #chris chan is disgusting #justice for barb #gibi #dillon thomas #rogue the internet man #geno samuel #josh null #Youtube #tw inc*st

51 notes · View notes

geniusgub · 3 years

Text

north//chapter twenty

genre: fluff, angst

warnings: mentions of canonical violence and deaths, lmk if I missed anything

word count: 4k

summary: Spencer is getting reacquainted with life outside of prison, and he gets a not-so-great phone call.

pairing: season twelve spencer reid x oc

please remember to comment, like, and reblog!!

AMELIA

Spencer and I managed to sleep through the entire day and the majority of the night. After all, the previous day was probably one of the most eventful of my entire life and it left me absolutely exhausted. I can't quite speak for Spencer because I'm sure he's had much longer days than yesterday, especially when he has been away for cases, but it was still stressful and way too long for both of us.

I wake up before Spencer as the sun starts to rise the next day, the sunlight pouring in through the opened window on the other side of the room. Before I even consider getting out of bed or looking at my phone, I look to my side to check on Spencer. He's sleeping soundly, his cheek pressed against his pillow and his hand on my side of the bed, no longer wrapped around mine. He looks absolutely angelic at this moment, his mouth hanging open and his body completely relaxed.

I promised Spencer that I'd be here for him and that I wouldn't leave the bed without him. I've never broken a promise to him before and I don't plan on starting now. So, moving as little as possible so I don't disturb him, I sit up against the headboard, reaching into my bedside table for my journal. I pop open the top and start furiously scribbling down everything I can remember from the last two or so days and how I feel about it, how excited I am to have Spencer home again, and how terrified I am to have Spencer home again.

I barely even notice it when Spencer starts squirming beside me, and my attention is only taken away from my journal when his hand grabs onto my thigh. I smile down at his suddenly tiny figure, finding that he's already looking up at me with a tired gaze.

"Good morning, love," I chirp, tossing my journal onto the floor and sinking back under the duvet in an attempt to absorb some of his radiating body heat. Since he already touched me and he's seemingly feeling okay in the morning sun, I let my hand stray and trail through his flat curls. "Did you sleep well? You didn't wake me up."

Spencer sucks his lips between his teeth, shrugging softly. "I woke up a few times. I just--" he wiggles his hips as he tries to come up with an excuse, "I didn't need to wake you up. I didn't need to bother you. Having you here was enough."

I bring my hand to the back of Spencer's neck, huffing with some slight annoyance, "You're not a bother. You never have and you never will be," Spencer just shrugs dismissively in response, and reaches his hands up to rub his eyes. Spencer has never been good at these kinds of conversations and I imagine he's far too tired to entertain a lecture about how important he is. So I make a mental note to bring this topic back up as I sit up and stretch. "Alright, well, do you want some breakfast? I can make us something to eat."

"Yeah, sure," he nods, ducking away from my grasp and quickly sliding out of bed, putting on a pair of shoes I hadn't realized he set up on his side of the bed.

I reach for a pair of sweatpants but when I look up to find Spencer frozen in his spot, staring at the bed, I drop the pants and sit up on my knees. The sheets are rustled and the duvet is in a heap under me, and he's very fixated on this. His arms are glued to his side but his fingers are twitching like he's dying to use them.

"Spence? Everything okay?" I ask gently, and like the other instances where he gets lost in a daydream, he doesn't react to me. "Spencer?" I call again in hopes of getting some sort of response. But his fingers just twitch and he takes a long, frustrated breath. "Talk to me," I don't know if pressing the issue will help, but if I don't at least try to get him to talk, then I'll never figure out what his issue is. "I just wanna help you, but I can't do that if you don't talk to me."

Spencer quickly covers his face with his hands, his breathing becoming labored and heavy, chest heaving. "The bed. It's the bed. It's-- I need-- it's the bed."

It looks like a bed to me. It's a messy bed, sure, but it's just a bed to me. I pause for a second to try to get my brain to match Spencer's. I try to see what he is seeing, but all I see is a bed that we just used for its intended purpose. It just needs to be made, that's all. I can't see into Spencer's brain so I have to resort to asking. "What about the bed?"

"I--" he drops his hands, balling them up into fists again, "The bed is supposed to be made. I need to make the bed. It needs to be made or else they're gonna come and I'll get in trouble. It-- the-- the bed needs to be made."

Oh, this poor baby. My heart aches for him. Not all of him made it out of that prison cell. Part of him is still there. He's not here with me. He didn't really come home.

"Spencer, you're not gonna get in trouble here. It's just me. It's just Lia," My voice shakes as I try to speak, my hands pressed to my cheeks to continuously wipe the tears that start to fall. "I'm never gonna yell at you or hurt you or get mad because you didn't make your bed. Dove, you can make the bed if you want to, but you don't have to. It's okay. I'm not gonna be mad. You won't get in trouble. It's just me."

Spencer stares at me, his eyes wide and his lips parted. His hands aren't twitching anymore but they're still reaching towards the bed. He doesn't say anything, he just stares at me in bewilderment.

I compose myself with a deep breath, wiping my cheeks quickly and climbing off the bed. "Dove, make the bed, please. I want you to do anything that makes you feel better. But if you choose not to, I'm not gonna be mad," I step towards Spencer, holding my hands out in front of me and not expecting him to grab them. "I'm gonna go downstairs and I'm gonna start cooking, and you come down when you're ready, okay?"

I give Spencer one more attempt at a convincing smile before turning and going downstairs. My first stop is to the living room, and I pop the record into the player that Spencer had put on yesterday. If it did something to comfort him yesterday, hopefully it will do the same today. I grab both of our phones and start cooking breakfast.

I mix batter for waffles in a bowl as I check my notifications, sifting through a whole load of texts. My groupchat with my friends has a couple hundred texts, starting off with lots of questions and concerns about Spencer from yesterday, asking if he's okay, if he's home, wondering how happy we are. I have other texts from Wendy and Mike, asking the same types of questions that my friends did. I send some quick responses to all of them and let them know that we're home, we slept for a very long time, and that I'll contact them later with more updates.

Spencer's quiet footsteps approach and I turn to face him, breathing a sigh of relief when I find he's not so worked up anymore. "I hope waffles are okay."

Once I've closed the waffle maker and let it start cooking, I glance over my shoulder to ee what Spencer is doing. He's sitting gingerly at the island, placing his elbows on the granite and eyes darting around the room. Honestly, I don't even know why he sat there. He absolutely hated sitting there and eating yesterday, and it made him have some sort of flashback. Maybe it's because he started off the morning with the prison-bed situation, and now the natural order of events in the day is to be transported right to prison-breakfast.

"Hey, bub, you don't have to sit at the table," I say casually, trying not to bring too much attention to it. "You didn't like that yesterday. But you seemed better when we sat on the floor so we can do that again, or we can go on the couch or the balcony." I don't even have time to see his reaction before the waffle maker beeps, and I have to whip around to pull the waffle out.

I can hear Spencer shuffling behind me, and then I feel his shoulder brushing against my leg as he slides down to the floor beside me. I put the waffle onto the plate and hand it down to him, then open the drawer above his head to grab a fork.

"Thank you," Spencer mumbles, catching my free hand in his and pressing his lips to the back of my hand. It's clearly a thank you for more than just handing him a fork, or making him breakfast, or sleeping with him, or showering with him, or anything of that. It's a thank you for being so patient with him, but I couldn't fathom not being there for him in the way he needs. I want to tell him that he doesn't need to thank me, but in his mind, it is something he needs to do, so I decide to let it happen for a while before I start to refuse his thanks.

The next week functions almost identical to this. Spencer is quiet, keeping to himself and eating his meals on the floor and making the bed perfectly in the morning, cleaning the bedroom floor every night, wearing a tee shirt to bed. I get just a few glimpses of the man he was, but not many.

Emily had called later that day to let Spencer know that the entire BAU was placed on a mandatory six week leave, but also that he had to be evaluated for reinstatement. A whole slew of people have to review Spencer's actions, have to interview him, have to test him to see if he's fit to return to work, and he didn't take this news well. He didn't talk to me for a hours and just curled up on the floor of the bedroom, staring out the window with the drawn-back curtains. I tried, for so long, to get him to talk to me, but he didn't budge and he didn't even look at me. So I just grabbed whatever book was inside his go-bag from the last case he went on and sat beside him, reading aloud in an attempt to bring him back down to earth. And when he did, he went off to shower and then straight to bed.

Spencer's work is his life and there's few things he loves more than his work. I know that he would be lost without the BAU and that he would have absolutely no clue what to do with his life if he couldn't keep working there. So hearing that there's a chance that he may not be reinstated to the BAU is absolutely crushing.

On the other end of the spectrum, the prospect of Spencer not being reinstated isn't all bad to me. In his line of work, there are always going to be enemies. There's always going to be another Cat and another Lindsay. He's always going to have guns pointed at him and bombs blowing up beside him and people wanting to kill him. If he's not reinstated, I get to have him home every morning and night and I won't stare at the wall at lunch with Jenna, wondering if Spencer has just been shot or if he has a knife to his neck. I know that he would absolutely hate not being reinstated, but it would save me so much heartache.

That's an incredibly selfish thought, I know. I'm happy and willing to strip Spencer of one of the things that makes him happiest in his life just so I can sleep at night. But all I've wanted from the moment I met him is for him to be safe and to be happy and if he's not chasing serial killers, I know that he will at least be safe. Happy? I can't help but imagine he wouldn't be.

After a tense week at home, I convince Spencer to let me take him back to his apartment. He insists that he doesn't want for stay there and would rather stay with me, even though I said I would stay at his apartment with him, but I'm happy to let him keep with me. I just want him to be happy.

So I drove him over to his apartment, picked up most of his clothes and whatever else he was needing, and he rounds up an entire duffle bag full of books that I'm sure he would read in just one day. But we collect whatever he could possibly need and shove it in my car, then go straight back to my apartment. I'm starting to get a little stir crazy, being trapped in my apartment, but Spencer doesn't want to go out anywhere yet and the last thing on my mind is forcing him into things he's uncomfortable with.

"So what do you wanna do today?" I unzip the bag full of books and start making a few small piles against the wall, glancing over my shoulder at Spencer. He shrugs gently, too distracted with picking a record to properly respond to my question. Sighing, I return my attention to the books.

The record turns on and this time, I recognize it to be a record full of Christmas music. We've been listening to nothing but Taylor Swift, Frank Sinatra, and Christmas music this past week, and while that's my favorite music and I have no problem with it, it's odd. Spencer never really listened to that music, whether we were together or not. He always managed to convince me to put on some cello concerto that wound up being fifteen minutes long. I thought he would rather listen to that and not Christmas music when it's almost the summer, but I haven't questioned this yet.

"Could we," Spencer starts speaking after a moment, tearing my attention from the books, "maybe watch a movie?"

It's the first time he's suggested anything like that. Honestly, it's one of the first times he's suggested that we do anything. He's just been staying quiet and following me around like a puppy dog, watching me attempt to draw in a sketchbook or watching me cook or watching me do the laundry. He's stuck to my side, even if he hasn't been touching me much. So now that he's suggesting that we do something, I'm not about to pass up this development.

"Yeah, of course. You can choose whatever you want. I'll be over there when I'm done," Spencer nods and turns his back to me, and I pick up my pace in emptying the books from the duffle bag. I don't want to lose this momentum of him, maybe, feeling just a little bit better.

Once I've stacked all the books, I fold up the duffle bag nicely and put it in a place where it won't bother Spencer, and then head into the living room. He's sitting on the couch with a DVD case in his lap, and he holds it out to me when I approach. Always a technophobe, he never goes near the DVD player and lets me do it.

"Polar Express?" I raise my eyebrows, but that's as far as my questioning goes. I pop the DVD out of the case and put it into the player, then grab the remote and press play.

I settle onto the couch with my favorite plaid blanket, draping it over my lap. As the movie starts and the title screen shows, I feel cold. I'm completely covered and under my trusty blanket, but I'm cold. Absolutely freezing. I pull the blanket tighter around me and when my temperature doesn't shift, I quickly realize where the cold is coming from.

Spencer and I are a very physical couple. Despite his aversion to touch, he never seemed to have the problem when it came to me. Especially when we watched movies, we were always touching. Legs, hands, shoulders and heads, laps and heads. There was always a connection, but now there's none. I'm left on my own couch cushion, not sharing Spencer's cushion and continuously pushing closer and closer until we're squished together. A shiver runs down my spine.

We watch the movie in silence for a little while, all the way up until the three main characters are singing a song at the back of the train. And while they're singing, I feel Spencer reaching over, grabbing the edge of the blanket, tugging it closer to him. "You can come closer," he tells me, looking up at me through his lashes, fingers grasping the fuzz of the blanket.

Happy to comply with this request, I scoot closer to him until our legs are touching. I think that's enough for now, but then Spencer slings his arm over my legs and tugs me closer until my knees collapse over his legs and I'm laying my head on his chest. It's a position that I'm so familiar with and I've been dying to be in, but he hasn't been up for lately. My body warms up. The shivers stop.

I completely melt into his embrace, pressing my ear against his chest to listen for the steady beat of his heart as I wrap my arm around his stomach. I let my eyelids flutter closed and relax into him. The movie isn't important anymore, at least not to me.

///

SPENCER

///

Today is a good day, one of the first I've actually had since being home since my prison release. I thought that actually leaving Amelia's apartment would make me nervous, but returning home wasn't as horrible as it seemed like it would be. For once, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm even feeling well enough to watch a movie and cuddle with Amelia on the couch, just like we used to do. She still can't creep up behind me or touch me without showing me her hands first and I still can't eat at a table, but it's an improvement. Albeit a tiny one, but it's there nonetheless.

By the time the movie is coming to an end, Amelia has slid down to rest her head on my lap, her curls sprawled out and her hands pulled up to her chin. She looks ridiculously adorable like this, and even though it's a sight that I've seen many times and I've committed to memory, I wish I could sit and stare at her forever.

But that plan is foiled when my phone starts buzzing on the coffee table. My first instinct is to look down to check that Amelia is still sleeping, and all she does is scrunch up her nose a bit before relaxing. Adorable.

I grab a pillow from beside me and slide it under her head when I slip out from under her. Thankfully, she doesn't notice and she doesn't wake up. Pleased with this, I grab my phone and rush onto the balcony. I don't have time to check who it is before I answer. "Reid."

"Hey, Reid," Rossi's voice comes through the phone. "How's it going?"

"It's-" I ponder my answer for a moment, double-checking that the door is closed as I sink into one of Amelia's adirondack chairs, "um, it's a good day today."

"Good, I'm glad. And I'm glad you've got Amelia to look after you. You've got a good one there. She really cares about you," Rossi says, and his words prompt me to turn and peer into the window at her sleeping form, curled up on the couch and holding the blanket to her chest. "Where-- uh-- where is she right now?"

"She's sleeping right now. I'm on the balcony," Honestly, this is already some of the most talking I've done in the last week and I'm exhausted. I'd rather be talking to Amelia, but Rossi called me for a reason, plus I know that Amelia needs to get some sleep. "Did you need something?"

"Yeah. I'm afraid I may need to bring your day down a bit," Rossi sighs, and my heart drops down to my feet. "I feel horrible calling you now, after everything you went through and while the BAU is on leave, but you need to know the situation."

I furrow my eyebrows, balling my free hand into a fist, digging my nails into my palm to give the pain somewhere to go. "What situation?"

"Damian Kelsey's signature popped up on two bodies in LA."

I didn't think that I would have to face a day where Damian Kelsey's signature reappears. I admit that I have stayed late at work many times just to look at Damian's case file and rememorize the details and try to predict what his next murder would have been all while ignoring the chilling family photos that contain my girlfriend as a horribly abused child.

And this is the worst possible time for this to happen. I can barely go a day without flashing back to prison or almost yelling at my amazing and patient girlfriend. How can I possibly tack on dealing with her serial killer father's signature resurfacing, all while trying to keep it a secret from her? It's nearly impossible. I thought that I could just take these stupid six weeks off to spend time with Amelia and try to rest comfortably, but I guess that's not possible.

"I'm heading to LA as we speak. I'm getting on a plane right now. And while we both know what his signature coming up again could mean, the good thing is that these are male victims and they're not surrogates for Amelia. I know that's what you're worried about. The other good thing is that this is across the country and obviously nowhere near Virginia. So--"

"Spencer?" Amelia's sweet voice comes from the balcony doors, the blanket disregarded on the couch and her hair messy on the top of her head.

"Gotta go," I mumble, hanging up my phone and tossing it aside, not even waiting to say goodbye to my coworker.

Amelia steps onto the balcony, her bare feet silent as she approaches me slowly, rubbing her eyes like a small child. "Everything okay?"

I reach my hands out for her and she smiles, placing her hands in mine and slowly sinking onto my lap, resting her head on my chest, similar to the position we had been in before. Amelia runs a hand over my chest and it takes everything in me not to let out a sound akin to a cat purring.

I just hold her tightly in my arms, probably the tightest I have since I saw her for the first time in the parking lot of my correctional facility. Rossi swears that Damian Kelsey won't come after Amelia but I just hold her tighter, as if that will protect her from the horrors of the world. I have a lot of holding to make up for from when I was gone, and I suppose that time starts now.

TAGLIST

@babybloodstonebones @bxnnywriting @blameitonthenight21 @feralreid @anepiphany @reidscardigan @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @4x24 @whollytaciturn @thegingerfairchild @yasminwashere @shrimpyblog @anamelessfacelessnerd @wonderlandhatter @whxt-to-write @just-call-me-non @imagining-in-the-margins @boldlyvoid @homoose @gubler-me-up @thundergunexpresss @eideticmemory @andiebeaword

9 notes · View notes