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melancholydreadfuldream · 4 years

Text

dream of the sky’s still blue

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: 11th Doctor x Reader, 12th Doctor x Reader, 13th Doctor x Reader

Summary: Companion chosen by the Doctor are always special in their own way but you, you are just a tag-along, courtesy of Clara. Maybe that’s why it was easy for him to hurt and abandon you.

Warning: ooc, angst, insecurity, self-harm, depression, madness, suicidal, DW AU mess-up, etc

A/N: The timeline of adventures on this fic will be switch around hence the warning of AU. I also bullshitting my way with this fanfiction so this will contain plot hole. I hope you enjoy reading it nonetheless. Please like/comment if you like this fic?

What is it about love that make people do irrational thing? I had to go and fall in love with an alien and one who is so out of my league too. He's a silly man most of the times but also, he's the smartest man alive. He's kind and amazing. His name is the Doctor. It wasn't his real name but he said it's the only name that matter. Until Clara and I met River Song, the Doctor's wife, at least her ghost data...? Whatever that means...

River saved us when an enemy of the Doctor attacked us, demanding the Doctor to tell them his true name in order to open the Doctor's grave. She knew his true name. Why am I surprised? If anyone know, it would be his wife.

Clara and I were best friend since childhood. She was the only friend I have actually. I was invisible as a child and Clara saw me and made me her friend. Over the years, of course, she has got better friends, but to her, I will always be her best friend. She never left me behind.

I met the Doctor when he attempted to break into the house where Clara worked. After hearing Clara's distress voice from inside the house, I panicked too. After that, I witnessed this strange man rescued her. I was very grateful.

When the Doctor invited Clara to come along on board the Tardis, Clara agreed on the condition I can go with them too. To my surprise, he agreed immediately. I thought for sure he would not want me around. I was grateful to Clara because of her, I was able to see the wonder of the universe.

Of course, then I had to go and fell for the Doctor. He was kind and affectionate enough toward the both of us. I can't help blushing every time he put his hands on me. Much to my embarrassment, of course, Clara noticed and teased me about it. Clara, being the good friend, she encouraged me to confess my feeling for him but I didn't want to ruin whatever fragile friendship I have with the Doctor.

I can't help but be jealous of Clara. She has got the Doctor's attention almost immediately even though he met us roughly at the same time. I didn’t know it at the times that he had met her twice before. His impossible girl. Now I know why. Clara, the girl who was born to save the Doctor, splintered herself into many pieces inside the Doctor's timeline in order to rescue him.

It was then I noticed that Clara is slowly falling for the Doctor too. And who can blame her? The Doctor was such a charmer in his own way. Clara was special to the Doctor, I can tell. After all, the Doctor owed her a life debt for all those times her echoes died for his every incarnation.

I knew then I never stood a chance to gain his interest. I was just nobody, just a tag-along. And It's hurt, so much. I probably should have left, stop traveling with them and let whatever attraction between them become mutual. If anyone deserve to have the best in life, it would be her, Clara, my best friend.

But my heart couldn't let go just yet. So, I stick around. But I told Clara that I know that she has feeling for the Doctor too and I told her to go for it.

"It's not like I have a chance. He never sees me."

Clara was upset with me whenever I said that. "Then we will make him see you." she said as she gave me a hug. "You are my best friend. I want you to be happy."

"I want you to be happy too, Clara." I said. "You love him. You deserve to have a go with him. Don't hold back because of me."

7777

I watched as my Doctor, the Eleventh one, argued with his past self whom he introduced me as Tenth Doctor. I ended up with three Doctors during an adventure. At Clara's urging, I jumped into the portal, following the Doctor. It was Clara's idea for me to catch his attention. I have to stop being timid, she said. It was really hard to do but for the Doctor, I was willing to try and be reckless.

"You have feeling for my future incarnation." The War Doctor said suddenly.

I almost jumped in my seat. I didn't think he would talk to me. I gulped as I glanced at him much like a guilty child. "I...what? No, I..."

He chuckled. "Oh, your face..."

I glared at him this time.

After he was done with his amusement in my expense, he turned to me with wistful smile. "You should tell him."

"He doesn't feel the same." I blurted out.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "How do you know?"

"Because I saw how he look at Clara and I know..."

"Clara?"

"My best friend. His impossible girl."

The War Doctor nodded. "You should tell him anyway. He might surprise you."

I glanced at him and I opened my mouth to ask what he meant but he seemed distracted like he was seeing someone who was not there.

7777

Clara always said the right words. Thanks to her, the three Doctors ended up saving their home planet, instead of destroying it.

I smiled as the three Doctors and Clara are busy congratulating each other. To my surprise, the War Doctor came to me and gave me a hug. I hugged him back.

After the War Doctor and Tenth Doctor are gone, I finally realized something horrible. The War Doctor knew of my feeling for the Doctor, doesn't that mean my Doctor know? I was terrified at the realization. I wanted to find a hole and crawl under it. But, Clara assured me that the timeline was out of sync at the times, chances are the Doctor might not remember his time as the War Doctor anyway.

7777

Then Trenzalore happened.

We were in the town of Christmas with a truth field surrounding the town. Of course, Clara and I ended up embarrassing ourselves by accidentally revealing our feeling for the Doctor. Thankfully, the crisis at hand didn't give any of us time to address the issue. I was fine pretending I didn't say anything.

Then, the Doctor realized he has found Gallifrey on the other side of the crack of time in the wall inside the tower. The planet itself was surrounded by various enemies of Gallifrey, ready to reign hell upon Trenzalore.

The Doctor ordered Clara and I to go back to the Tardis and to charge his sonic screwdriver. Clara obeyed him immediately. I followed her but stopped short suddenly. Why did he send both of us just to charge his sonic? I had a sneaky suspicious that the Doctor was up to something. I didn't step into the Tardis and to my surprise, the Tardis suddenly vanished before my eyes.

I knew it. He was trying to spare us by sending us away. Didn't work though because I didn't get inside the Tardis. I turned to glance at the Tower. Now what? He will be angry when he realized I was still here. I know I'm being stupid; I did not have anything to offer the Doctor to help defending the planet, but I want to stay here with him. He will think I was a burden, a nuisance so maybe I should stay out of his sight for now.

"(name)?"

So much for staying out of sight. I turned around to face his wrath.

"What are you still doing here? You should be in the Tardis with Clara!"

"You send her away."

"You should not be here! This place is about to be a war zone! Do you understand?" He yelled at me angrily. "You could die if you stay here!"

"I know! I just, Doctor, but...I...I can't just leave you here alone." I said softly.

The Doctor stared at me, speechless. Then he growled. "You stupid...ugh!!"

I flinched. The words hurt but I braced myself.

He turned around and left me. He went back to the tower. "Get yourself into safety with the other!" He yelled without looking at me.

So, I did as I was told. I helped the others to evacuate to a safer place.

Thankfully, the Doctor was able to control the crisis in town.

7777

For the next few days, I avoided the Doctor and he didn't bother seek me out either. I caught a glimpse of him sometimes but I made sure I was out of his sight.

I made a friend here; her name is Laura. She was kind. She was, like me, a timid girl so I was drawn to her immediately. I was grateful for her presence. Most days, I missed Clara and wonder how she was doing back at home. I wonder if I would ever see her again. Laura made me feel less lonely. I would like to think that I did the same for her.

Laura made me feel welcomed here with some of the people in town. Most of them were very nice. She got me some routine job to spend my days so I did not get sad or bored. I was useless to the Doctor anyway.

I sat near one of the fireplaces at the yard in front of the town school. The town people are having a small celebration for days where they are not under attack. I smiled as I watched them being lively and happy despite the bad situation surrounding us. Even the Doctor seemed to have a good time, dancing silly dance with the children. The Doctor did always have soft spot for children.

Laura took a seat by my side and we got to talk about some stuff. She asked me about the Doctor. She noticed there are tension between the Doctor and me, she asked about it. She also noticed the longing look I apparently keep throwing at the Doctor.

Because of the damn truth field, I told her everything that is my truth. I told her I was in love with the Doctor and about how he didn't care about me like that. I told her about Clara and the Doctor. I told her that the Doctor never see me for me, that I was just Clara's friend and nothing else. And that I was somewhat okay with it. I have always known I was invisible among people. But I do wonder if he would be nicer if it was Clara instead who is trapped in the town with him. Clara would never take his harsh attitude and would probably be snarky right back at him. I couldn't.

I didn't realize I was crying until Laura gave me a hug.

A boy, Gilbert, approached us and asked Laura to dance with him. Laura accepted with my urging.

I watched them with a smile. Ah, to be young and in love. I sighed. I sounded like I was already old. I chuckled. And then the bitterness filled me. I was jealous. I hated myself for feeling like that.

I shuddered in cold even with the blanket around me. Suddenly, someone covered their jacket over my blanket. I glanced up and saw the Doctor. My heart skipped a beat as he took a seat beside me.

For a few seconds, he didn't say anything. Then he suddenly nudged me and then he said that he missed me.

I smiled softly at him. "I miss you too, Doctor."

"I'm sorry for how I acted before." He said softly.

I shook my head. "You were right. I was useless. There is nothing I can offer you to help. I was just being a nuisance to you."

The Doctor suddenly grabbed one of my arms while his other hand raised my chin to face him properly. "You are not a nuisance to me, (name). You are my friend. Despite the circumstance, I'm glad that you are here."

"There is no place I would rather be..." I said as I gazed at him and I realized it was the truth. This truth field made me being truth full and brave for some reason. Usually I would never say stuff like that out loud.

The Doctor stared at me. His eyes looked sad. He released me from his hold.

"Don't make that kind of face, Doctor. I choose this. I choose you." I said as I grabbed one of his hands.

"Even when you think I didn't care for you; you would still choose me?" He asked.

I frowned. Then I felt embarrassed when I realized he heard my talk with Laura earlier.

"You are wrong, you know. I do care about you. And you are not just Clara's friend. You are mine too." He said. "I'm sorry to make you feel like you are unseen to me."

I didn't know what to say to him now.

The Doctor stood suddenly and raised one hand toward me.

I glanced at him in confusion.

"Come with me. Back into the tower."

The Tower is where he stayed. I smiled at the invitation as I took his hand.

7777

Ever since that night, our relationship improved slightly. He was no longer ignoring me which I was very grateful.

I loved watching him work on whatever he is doing. I couldn't help him at all but I'm glad to be a witness to his awesomeness every time he solves something or have a grand plan. He even made a new sonic screwdriver from random stuff he found around.

I didn't stay with him all the time though. He always sends me away whenever the town is under attack. He was fiercely protective of me. I tried to watch over him too. It was a good thing I did. Once when the town is under fierce attack, he nearly got shot by a sneaky dalek but I pushed him down onto the road.

The Doctor is surprised to see me but he also quick to disable the dalek.

I pushed myself off him and glanced up at him as he quickly towers over me in anger.

"(name), what are you doing here?! I told you to hide!" He shouted at me.

"Watch your own back then, Doctor!!" I yelled angrily.

"You're hurt." The Doctor suddenly said as he bent his knees and grabbed one of my arms.

I just realized I got a graze from the shot just now. "It was fine."

The Doctor glared at me and then he barked orders on one of the town people to nurse my injury as he left me behind to deal with another attack somewhere else.

7777

I waited for the Doctor inside the tower. When he returned, he was giving me silent treatment much to my annoyance. So, I pushed him to talk to me.

"You could have died."

"So could you. I saved you." I said.

"I didn't ask you to."

"You didn't have to."

The Doctor glanced at me with that look of sorrow again. He suddenly put one hand over my cheeks. "Don't be reckless, (name), you've only one life. You are only human, so fragile."

"You told me this is your last generation and that you don't have anymore. Of course, I have to save you, Doctor. How can I let you die? You are the hope of this town, of the people. But also, because I love you. To see you die before me is not an option!" I said firmly.

The Doctor is giving me this look I can't decipher. "But it was okay to let me see you die first?"

"I am always going to die first. You know that. I'm sorry that I made you care for me, that maybe losing me will cause you some pain but I will not let you die before me. Because if you do, I don't want to live anymore." I probably shouldn't say that but damn truth field is outing all my pain. "But you, Doctor, you will live even if you lose me. And when the Tardis returned and all of this is over, you will go on your next adventure with Clara or some new companion whose life you changed for the better as you did mine. And I am okay with it. To die for you would be an honour."

"Oh, (name)...that's not something I want for you."

"Well, tough...this is my life, Doctor, my choice."

"You keep saying that but do you even understand?"

"Don't treat me like a child, Doctor."

"Then stop acting like it."

The words hurt. I knew if we kept talking, we will hurt each other more so I left the tower.

7777

Despite the warning not to go to the lake alone at night, I did it anyway. I just need to get away and so I did. And it was lucky that I did because I heard a child's cries for help. I perked up and tried to locate the source.

There was a little boy. He seemed to get stuck in the middle of the frozen lake. What is he doing over there in the first place? I wanted to run to get help from other people but the boy, upon seeing me, begged me not to left him behind. He was crying. I promised him I would return. I ran back and screamed for help, hoping someone would hear and come immediately. I returned back and quickly tried to get to the kid.

Of course, I should have left the rescue to professional. But I wasn't thinking, okay? The kid is making me panic too because he was crying really loud. I grabbed the kid just as some of people come upon us only to have the ice beneath us cracked and we both fell back into a cold dark water. And that's when I saw the body of the little girl inside. She was long dead it seemed.

7777

I woke up inside the tower with the Doctor looking so gloomy. It has been three days apparently since I was rescued from inside the lake.

"Doc...tor...?"

He looks relieved when he saw me woke up. He gave me water immediately. "You could have died, (name)..."

I wanted to roll my eyes. Not this argument again. "Doctor, please..."

"I could have lost you today." He didn't listen. "How can I ever face Clara if anything happened to you? You are her best friend, (name), she would kill me."

I chuckled.

The Doctor glared at me. "It's not funny. This is life or death, (name)."

I couldn't help but burst into a giggle.

The Doctor look affronted at not being taken seriously. "Shut up." he said with a pout.

I smiled softly. "Make me."

To my surprise, he kissed me softly.

I blinked in shock, definitely speechless.

He pulled back from the kiss and sighed against my forehead. "Don't ever do that again to me, (name). I can't bear to lose you too soon."

I didn't reply. My mind still busy on the fact that the Doctor just kissed me. He actually kissed me in the mouth and not for CPR. I can't think very clearly. My brain is no longer working.

"(name)?" He called out when I didn't respond.

"You kissed me."

"I...did?"

"You kissed me."

The Doctor suddenly feeling embarrassed now.

"Why?"

"I... don’t know, it just feels right at the moment?"

"Doctor!"

He sighed. "You choose me. So, this is me, choosing you right back."

I frowned at his wording. "I didn't ask you to."

"You didn't have to."

I don't know what this meant. Did he love me or did he just feel the obligation to love me back because I said it first and we are trapped here together for the time being? Did he pity me for my feeling for him? "I don't need your pity or your charity, Doctor." I spat with venom.

The Doctor look confused. "(name)..."

I turned my back from him and ignored him. Tears fell into my cheeks. I sniffed.

The Doctor sighed and for a few seconds, there are only awkward silence. "It wasn't pity or charity, (name)..." he finally said.

"I don't believe you..." I whispered but I know he can hear me.

7777

After I got better, I found out about the boy on the lake. His name is Adam. He was playing with a little girl named Greta on the lake and had an accident. Greta didn't survive, she hit her head hard when she fell into the lake.

Adam's parents are very grateful for me even though I didn't actually save him. Adam glanced at me timidly and give me flower as a gesture of gratitude. His mother told me that Adam might be crushing on me. I thought that was kind of adorable of him.

Laura fussed over me. She was glad that I survived. She filled me in about the three days I missed. Thankfully there are no attack during the time I was out of it.

Laura stayed with me and she talked and I listened. She got distracted by Gilbert and I teased her about him. She blushed cutely.

She asked me for advice regarding how to approach or have a talk with a boy.

I shook my head. "You're talking the wrong person if you are seeking love advice." I said. "I never have a boyfriend."

"Well, how do you usually talk with that Doctor of yours?"

This time I was the one who is blushing. "He's not my boyfriend!" I blurted out. I looked around worried that someone or the Doctor could hear us.

Laura grinned. "I never said he is. But...you want him to be, don't you?" She teased. "You love him."

I sighed. "The Doctor is not someone who just fall in love just like that. You would have to be very impressive person like Clara or River. And I'm not..." I said with a touch of sadness. "As for how I usually talk with him, well, mostly he does all the talking."

"If being with him pains you so much, why would you stay with him?" Laura asked. "Out of sight out of mind would be better, no?"

"I guess I'm not ready to let go..."

7777

The Doctor left for some meeting with the people he put in charge of security of the town. I was on my own in the tower. I pulled my ipod from my bag, the one I always carried everywhere we go. Thank God, I had the bag with me when I got stuck here. I love listening to music, they made my days more bearable. Clara used to tease me that I would put my earbuds just to put people off from talking to me. In a way, she was right.

Ever since I become the Doctor’s companion, I had to go out of my comfort zone more. Many times, I wondered whether I deserve to be his companion. I was too timid. Clara always had my back so it wasn’t so bad. But, she was not here right now. I had to force myself to interact with other people. I was very grateful to have meet and befriended Laura.

I took a seat on the stairs in the tower. I hummed along my current favorite song, a bittersweet song. Clara used to tease me for liking sad song but then she would also sing along with me whenever we were in a mood to sing. My heart ached at the memories. I missed her so much. I wish she was here with me.

I was so focused on my thought I didn’t realize when the Doctor returned and took a seat on the stairs where I was.

“What song are you listening too?”

I jumped in surprise. “Doctor! When did you get here?”

The Doctor shrugged and glanced at me, expecting me to answer his question.

Why was he that curious about the song I was listening to? I pulled off one of my earbuds and gave it to him.

The Doctor put on the earbud. He actually stayed still to listen to the song. He was usually so bouncy, unable to stay in one place for too long.

“It was my current favorite song.” I said.

He hummed. “Clara did mention you have thing for sad song.”

My eyes widened. “When did she say that to you?”

He didn’t answer.

“Do you and Clara talk about me a lot?” I asked, suddenly feeling insecure.

“Only good things, don’t worry.” He finally answered with a small smile.

My ipod suddenly made a bleep sound. I sighed in disappointment when I realized the battery is about to run out. I left my charger on board the Tardis and the Tardis was nowhere in sight.

The Doctor pulled his sonic screwdriver. He made a new one. He pointed the sonic to my ipod. “There now, it’s fully charged.” He said.

I smiled at him gratefully. “Thank you, Doctor.”

We sat still as we share music together on that stairs.

7777

I watched as the Doctor was asked by the children to tell them a story and being the kind man he is, he can hardly refused them. I watched in amusement as the Doctor dramatically tell a story that made the children giggling. There was a lot of whirling on the Doctor’s part. It was funny.

I noticed Adam didn’t enjoy the story as much as the other children. I sat with him and asked him how he was doing.

“He is deliberately being silly.” Adam said.

“He is a silly man.” I said.

“I don’t like it.”

“Because he was supposed to be cool?” I asked.

“Well, yeah, he is a hero that defends the town but look at him, playing with kids.”

“What’s wrong with playing with kids?”

“He’s an adult. It’s weird.”

“I don’t think it’s weird.”

“Well, yeah, that’s because you like ‘like’ him.”

I was surprised that he noticed my feeling for the Doctor and I felt so embarrassed that even a kid noticed it. Was I that transparent? “It wasn’t like that. We are just friend.” I quickly said.

Adam gave me a look that said I was a terrible liar.

I decided to change the subject. “Well then, do you have anything you would rather do? I could join you, if you like.”

Adam’s face brightened at that. He grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the Doctor and the other children.

7777

I met a man called John. He was a soldier. He was assigned to help the Doctor to keep the peace. Lately, he has been coming to see me a lot. Laura said that he was courting me. I didn’t believe it but I was begining to believe that it was true. I have no idea what to do. I tried to let him down gently.

To my annoyance, even John noticed that that I have feeling for the Doctor. “He can’t ever love you as I do. I can give you a life that you deserve.” He said.

Even if he was right, I couldn’t love him back. John told me he talked to the Doctor and asked his permission to court me and he gave him the go ahead. I felt like I was being slapped.

The Doctor actually gave him permission to court me? He wasn’t even my guardian. But, in a way, he was, wasn’t he? But, what about his confession earlier, about choosing me back? Was that a lie? Did he retract that because I said I didn’t believe him?

My heart ached so badly. I wanted to cry. I begged John to give me some space. I left him and went into the lake.

“Are you okay, miss (name)?” Adam asked.

I was surprised to see him there. I quickly wiped my tears and put on a small smile. “I’m fine. My eyes are just hurting a bit.”

“Do adult believe in that sort of rubbish excuse?” He asked.

I chuckled at that and I messed his hair up.

“Don’t treat me like a kid.” Adam pushed my hand away in annoyance.

7777

I was mad at the Doctor. I foolishly accepted John who asked me to have a dance with him during a festive in town. I wanted the Doctor to be jealous. But, of course, he didn’t blink an eye as I danced and talked with John.

It was unfair of me to stringing John along. I confessed to him that I was still in love with the Doctor. He said he knew and he was fine with it. He begged me to get to know him too. He hope to open my eyes and let me see his genuine love for me.

Life would be so much easier if you liked the right people. For me, John could have been that person. The Doctor, as amazing as he is, was out of my league. On top of that, he was immortal and he aged very slowly. I was only human, after all, can’t help feeling about my own vanity. We could never be together, could we? Ugh, I was horrible.

I tried to give John a chance. I tried. But my heart still beats for the Doctor. After a month of courting, I told John that he should no longer waste his time courting me and that if he like, I would like to remain friend with him.

John was upset. He left without saying anything. I regretted that it was our last meeting. John died during one of the attack in town that same night. I felt guilty and I grieved for him.

7777

I was with the Doctor in the tower. We sat together in the balcony, watching the moon.

“Why did you give John permission to court me?” I asked suddenly, surprising him.

“I thought it was obvious. You deserve a normal life with a man who can grow old with you.”

I guess, the Doctor worried about vanity too. I nodded. “He would be perfect. He was a good man.”

The Doctor nodded and muttered something along the line “...despite being a soldier...”

I sighed as I pulled my blanket closer around me. “But I wish you didn’t do that.” I said. “It made me think about how little you must think about my feeling for you.”

“It wasn’t like that.” The Doctor quickly said. “I just want you to be happy.”

“You told me before that you were choosing me back, was that a lie?”

“It wasn’t a lie. But I’m an old man, (name), I don’t deserve you. You deserve better than me.” The Doctor said. “I was very jealous seeing you dance with John. I knew you did that on purpose to try to get me to react.”

“You noticed that, huh?”

“Oh believe me, I have to restrain myself from pulling you from him and kiss you right then and there...” He said. “But I can’t be selfish with you.”

“What if I want you to be selfish?” I asked. “What if I want to spend the rest of my life loving you and be loved back in return by you?”

“It certainly will be a challenge.” The Doctor said. “But, you have to be sure that this is what you really want, (name). I am a Time Lord. When we loved someone, we loved so completely to the point almost obsession. You need to be absolutely sure you want this because...I don’t think I could let you go should we go through with this.”

I moved closer to the Doctor and put one hand over his cheek. “I choose you, my Doctor.”

The Doctor smiled solemnly as he put his hand over mine. “As you wish, my dearest (name).”

7777

True to his words, he started showing his affection for me. He started with romantic gestures like a candlelight dinner, a dance with my favorite song played on speaker (yes, that’s right, he made a speaker so that I could connect it to my ipod) and just overall being amazing boyfriend.

He taught me how to use his sonic screwdriver. “Just point and think.” He said standing real close behind me. His arms enveloped me as he helped me point the sonic to the correct target.

“What? Just like that? When you put it like that, it sounded like the sonic is a magic wand.” I said teasingly.

He pouted adorably.

7777

I was happy being with the Doctor. I tried not to think about the future, to just live in the moment. Then something bad happened. Something that I didn’t even see coming. I didn’t even think the Doctor suspect it. The town was under attack and I was looking for Adam. He was nowhere to be found. His parents were worried. I went to the lake with the sonic the Doctor gave me for protection. I thought he would be there. I was hoping not to stumble with any of the Doctor’s enemies here.

But what I saw...is horrible. I saw something I shouldn’t. I can’t comprehend what it is I was seeing. I had to go back and tell the Doctor about it. But, I made a sound unintentionally and he found me.

He was fast and strong for a kid.

I fell to the ground and he descend upon me with a hammer. “Adam, don’t!”

Adam smiled coldly at me. “You saw it, didn’t you? That’s too bad. I really really like you, miss (name). But now you have to go.”

I yelped as he pulled his hammer over my head. Sharp pain filled my head as blood trailing down the side of my face. I felt dizzy. The sonic fell to the ground, covered in my blood.

Adam picked it up. “I will tell him that you were killed. This thing will be the evidence.”

I was horrified. This kid was actually planning to kill me for real?

“It was easy, you see. Everyone trust a kid, even the Doctor. Even John... Others children are easy to manipulated too...”

My eyes widened at the mention of John. “You killed John? Why?”

“You like him too much.” He said. “I know you like the Doctor too. But I can’t kill the Doctor. We need him. But, I suppose this way is better. No one gets to have you now. I’m sorry that it has come to this. I really like you ever since you saved me from the lake.”

Of course, only me would have a psycho kid as an admirer. Any other companion of the Doctor would probably die by another alien hand while I got a psycho kid instead.

I tried to move away but I was too weak. The headache is getting worse. I can barely think.

“I’m sorry, miss (name).” Adam said, sounding genuinely upset even with that chilling smile on his face.

“That’s enough.”

I heard someone said. I didn’t recognize who it was. I think it was a man dressed in black?

The man walked toward Adam and grabbed the kid before he could do so much as screaming. He put his hands over the kids’ temples. Adam stopped struggling. The man then shushed the kid away. He walked toward me.

“900 years of wondering what exactly happened to you. Which of my enemies got to you. And it was just some crazy kid?” He lamented in disbelief.

I tried to focus to stay awake but it was getting hard. “Who…?”

The man bends his knees right beside me. He pulled a sonic screwdriver. Was it mine? I can’t tell. “Don’t move.”

I succumbed to the darkness gratefully.

7777

I woke up in a med bay. I recognized it as the med bay on board of the Tardis.

“Ah, you are finally awake.”

I saw the man from before. I didn’t know who he is. “Who are you? Where is the Doctor?”

The man raised an eyebrow at me. “I’m the Doctor.”

My jaw dropped in disbelief. “No, you are not the Doctor.”

“I regenerated.”

“See, that was a lie. My Doctor told me he was in his last regeneration. You can’t be him. What game are you trying to play here?”

“No game. I got a new set of regeneration. You can thank your best friend for that.”

I blinked. “Clara? Clara is here too? Where?”

“I kind of left her with Vastra and Jenny. No worry, we can come back for her later.”

“Are you really the Doctor?” I asked tentatively.

“Yes.”

“How? You said… How did Clara…?”

“Near the end of my times, I was dying; Clara returned with the Tardis and she convinced the other Time Lords to help me. And here we are.”

“You said on the lake that it has been 900 years…” I whispered. “Did I die?”

“Obviously not, you are here, aren’t you?”

“But you said you have been wondering what happened to me. Did you…crossing your own time stream to save me?”

“Don’t talk about thing that you don’t understand.”

“Well then, explain to me.”

“I don’t think your pudding brain could comprehend it.”

I was very offended. “You are rude.”

The Doctor shrugged as if he didn’t care.

“What did you do to Adam?” I asked.

“Does it matter?”

“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t care. Now answer the question.”

“I told him to go be useful somewhere else.”

“What is that supposed to mean? Did you harm him?”

“Why do you care? He tried to kill you.”

“He’s just a kid.”

“One who has a taste for murder? Greta? John? Ring a bell?”

“He needs help.”

“Oh, don’t worry; I give him exactly what he need.” The Doctor said with a dark tone.

I shivered under his gaze. I started wondering if this man really is the Doctor.

7777

I was so excited to see Clara again. I was about to approach her but she was talking with the Doctor on the console room. She looked sad. I heard the end of what the Doctor said to her.

“I’m not your boyfriend.”

“I never thought you were.”

“I didn’t say it was your mistake.”

My heart ached suddenly. Did that mean the Doctor used to consider Clara his girlfriend? I wanted to hit myself. Why am I still surprise with it? I knew that he has feeling for Clara despite his claim back then of choosing me. Maybe he meant he settle for me. I sighed as I wiped my glassy eyes.

They were still unaware of my presence. They talked about things that I seemed to miss. Something about an ad in a newspaper and a phone number.

I finally made my presence known.

Clara actually look a bit alarmed to see me. I saw her exchanged a look with the Doctor.

The Doctor only shrugged.

Clara went to hug me and I hugged her back tightly.

“I miss you so much, Clara.” I said.

“I miss you more.” Clara said.

The Doctor watched the two of us with a smile. “So, where to next?”

I was surprised when Clara said she want to go home. I sensed something was up between the Doctor and Clara, something that I missed.

Clara asked me if I want to go home with her and I was just speechless.

The Doctor glanced at me without a word.

“I think I will stay for a while. I need to talk with the Doctor.” I said finally as I glanced back at him.

Clara stared at the two of us before nodded. “I will give you some space.” She went out of the Tardis just as her phone rangs.

I turned to the Doctor. I seated myself on the stairs. “So, are you going to give me the same speech, more or less, about how you are not my boyfriend?”

He raised an eyebrow at that. “Do you want me too?”

“I’m giving you an out, Doctor. I knew you only settle for me because Clara was not with us back in Trenzalore.”

“Maybe you are the one in need of an out. Didn’t like my new face, eh? Too old for you?”

I glared at him. “That’s not fair. Do you really think me so little?”

“You can’t even look at me and see me as the Doctor.”

“Well, forgive me for being a human! I’m not used yet to the new grumpy face. Also this you are rude.”

“I saved you and I was rude?”

“You called me pudding brain!”

“I called everyone pudding brain. Don’t take it personally.”

I glared at him.

“I meant every words back in Trenzalore. You wanted this. I did warn you I won’t be easily letting you go and what was that you said to me back then?”

I was silent for a few seconds. “I choose you, my Doctor.” I repeated my words to him back then.

“And, do you still meant every words?”

“I...Of course. Yes.”

“You don’t sound sure.”

I couldn’t say anything.

“I see. You prefer the other face more.”

“That’s not it! I just need time to get used to this new you. Is that too much to ask?”

“Fine. I will give you time.” He said with a huff as he moved to get out of the Tardis and I could hear him talking to Clara outside.

Seemed like Clara is having a hard time accepting the new doctor like me. But, it seemed like he managed to convince her. When I got out of the Tardis, Clara waved me over to join them for chips.

7777

I have to sort out my life outside of the Tardis. I lost my job at the diner just yesterday. The Doctor showed up at my work place, basically insulting me and everyone who worked there. I was angry at the Doctor for calling my job as a dead end job, no matter whether he was right or not.

Clara was lucky she got a position as a teacher at a high school. Clara has always the brave out of the two of us. I was content hiding away and be invicible. Clara would never be satisfied with that. She loves being in the spotlight, much like the Doctor. It was a miracle that the two of them actually put up with me.

Clara did get me a job at administration department at the high school she teaches eventually. It wasn’t that bad, thanfully. She introduced me to Danny Pink, a teacher. She told me that she was seeing him. I was very happy for her. Danny looked like a good man.

The Doctor and Clara often went on adventures non-stop. I didn’t know how she can cope balancing Tardis life and real life. I, myself, has turned down the Doctor a few times whenever he asked me to go with him and Clara.

“I’m so tired, Doctor. Tomorrow I have work. I need to sleep.”

“You can sleep when you die.”

I ignored him after he said that.

7777

One day, the Doctor showed up on my doorsteps with a suit and asked me out on a date.

“You are absolutely sure I am going to say yes...” I said as I gestured on his suit.

Of course, his answer kind of ruined the mood. He was too blunt sometimes. But, you have got to admit, he grew on you, especially his angry eyebrows as Clara dubbed it.

Surprisingly, the Doctor set up a good date night. He took me out on a restaurant in some planet. The song that played in the background to my surprise was my favorite song, the one we danced to back in the tower on Trenzalore.

“You remember.” I whispered with a smile.

He only shrugged. He raised a hand toward me and asked me to dance with him.

I smiled widely and accepted. He didn’t smile the whole time but I could see his eyes softened considerably as he glanced at me fondly.

At the end of the night, he gave me a present, sort of, my old ipod.

“I had to give it a bit of upgrade and I took the liberty to add more music for your collection.” He said. “But you can’t let others borrow it since it contain song from the future.”

I held the ipod on my chest and smiled gratefully at him. “Thank you, Doctor.” I kissed his cheek.

7777

Clara said she wanted to meet Robin Hood. Oh, I know that Robin Hood was one of her favorite stories.

The Doctor reluctantly took us to go see Robin Hood. He kept insisting that Robin Hood is not real though.

Clara and I was excited to dress ourselves in a period-appropriate dress. We complimented each other much to the Doctor’s annoyance.

“Stop admiring yourself. Do you want to see Robin Hood or not?” He asked grumpily.

Clara grinned as she made me do a twirl before pushing me right into the Doctor’s arms.

The Doctor caught me in his embrace. He gazed at me but didn’t say anything.

Clara smirked. “Now, who is admiring who?”

The Doctor glared at Clara as I blushed.

7777

Clara and I were surprised to see the Doctor undercover at the school where we worked as the caretaker.

The Doctor found out about Danny Pink and was livid because Clara is dating a former soldier.

“John is a soldier and you let him court me.” I reminded him.

“That’s different.”

I rolled my eyes. I tried not to think too much about what he meant. I didn’t want to allow insecurity take a bite on me again. Not today, at least.

Clara introduced Danny to the Doctor and they both have instant dislike of each other.

7777

During on our girl night out, I finally get to ask Clara about Trenzalore and about the last moment of our first Doctor. Well, my first. Clara has seen and interacted in some way with all of the Doctor’s incarnation through her echoes.

She told me that she was once even a Time Lady and that she was the one who introduced the Doctor with the Tardis.

I smiled at that. The Tardis actually owed Clara for directing the Doctor to steal the right ‘sexy’ Tardis. It was kind of funny considering how the Tardis has been treating Clara before. The Tardis was very mean to Clara but now it seemed they get on well.

Clara told me about the Doctor sending her away twice. She told me about the Doctor being very old and weak and alone. She told me about how the Doctor apologized to her for not protecting me, her best friend.

I wanted to cry at the thought that I caused him so much pain by staying in the Trenzalore back then. He thought I was dead and he never stopped wondering about what happened to me. He cared so much that 900 years later, after he regenerated, he risked everything to rescue me.

I know everything worked out well. The Doctor is here. Clara is here. We are all together. I supposed it was better this way. If Adam had not attacked me, I would have stay with the Doctor until my time is running out and he would have to bury me. I knew it was inevitable. I would die sooner or later but later is definitely better.

I suddenly have the urge to see the Doctor so I apologized to Clara for cutting our girl night short. She only grinned at me in understanding.

I called the Doctor, hoping he would accept my call and came to me immediately. Thankfully, he did. As the Tardis materialized in front of me, I ran and pulled the door open. I stared at the Doctor for a short a while and immediately went to hug him, despite his protest that he is not a hugging person anymore.

“I love you, my Doctor.” I whispered to him.

The Doctor’s eyes widened and softened considerably. He didn’t say it back but at the times, it didn’t matter to me.

7777

A Time Lord, basically an alien immortal and a human; our relationship are basically very fragile. I could die any times, be it by the hands of another alien or another human, be it accidentaly or intentionally. Though, I never thought it will happen so soon. But then again, it shouldn’t surprise me so much. Life with the Doctor could be wonderful but also dangerous. The Doctor did always find himself in a life or death situation most of the times.

We got involved in an adventure with the Vikings where we met Ashildr. The villagers are under attack by unknown entity but the Doctor eventually recognize them as the Mire. Ashildr declared wars on the Mire and the Doctor was forced to act accordingly to defend the villagers.

I didn’t actually remember what happened to me. It was very hazy. According to Clara, I was injured gravely in a line of fire during the Mire’s unexpected attack. The Doctor used Mire technology to save my life and Ashildr, sentencing the both of us to a life of immortality, not that I was aware of it at the time.

Originally, the Doctor planned to gave both chips to Ashildr but I was dying and he decided to save me...again. Partly, it was because Clara begged him to save her best friend.

I was in and out of conciousness for a few days on board of the Tardis and when I finally regained my bearing, it was to the worried face of Clara.

Clara exhaled a sigh of relief when she saw me awaken. “Don’t ever do that again.” She said as she hugged me tight.

I was still very weak but I smiled regardless. “You are one to talk. Between the two of us, you are the one who is more reckless.”

“Yet, I’m not the one in the med bay.” She pointed.

I noticed the Doctor leaned against the doorway, staring at the both of us with a look I can’t decipher. I smiled at him. “Thank you for saving my life again, Doctor.”

“Don’t thank me. You might end up cursing me instead.” The Doctor bluntly said.

I frowned.

Clara glared at the Doctor. “He has been grumpy this few days. Don’t mind him.”

I stared at those two in confusion but honestly I was still too tired to deal with whatever issue the Doctor have with me. I imagined the Doctor was upset with me for not being careful.

7777

The Doctor dropped me back on Earth to rest. It was then the world was shaken by a broadcast from the moon. I recognized Clara’s voice. Something about deciding the fate of the moon? I wonder where the Doctor is and why he is letting the people of earth to make the decision.

I called Clara but she didn’t pick up. It was the next day she asked to meet me and she told me she intend to leave the Tardis for good. She told me she was angry at the Doctor. I was confused with the Doctor’s action toward Clara and I can only pray they both could work out their issue. I would hate for our relationship to break over this.

Clara asked me if I think the Doctor is too cold-hearted ever since he regenerated. I ponder over Adam and what he said about giving him exactly what he deserved, not that I know exactly what it was. That moment made me doubted the Doctor but I convinced myself he was just being protective of me so I never mention it again. I didn’t agree with Clara but I didn’t exactly defend the Doctor either.

Clara and the Doctor had a plan for a one last hurray trip. I figured I should not come and give them their space to work their issue with each other. It seemed to work because after that trip, Clara said she will stick around to travel in the Tardis. But she told me she promised Danny she will stop travelling with the Doctor. She had to lie and she made me swore not to tell Danny either.

7777

Clara and I couldn’t help but laugh at the Doctor’s predicament, having being trapped inside the Tardis that had shrunk down to a handheld size.

I couldn’t help giggling at Clara’s antic of acting as ‘Doctor Clara’ taking charge to deal with the current alien invasion. Clara, loving to be in charge, flirted with me as a joke at the Doctor’s expense. The Doctor rolled his eyes at the both of us and shouted to focus.

7777

The forest has grown all over the world. The Doctor believed that this is the end of the world. A giant solar headed toward the earth.

The Doctor offered an escape via the Tardis. Clara refused because she didn’t want to be the last human. I didn’t want to leave the Doctor but I also didn’t want to be the last human either or to leave Clara to her death alone.

It was then I noticed the Doctor and Clara exchanged a look again.

“You were right, Doctor. We shouldn’t keep the truth from her.” Clara said. “(name), you should stay with the Doctor.”

“What? Why?”

That’s when they told me about my immortality, thanks to the Mire technology. I was stunned and I was upset that they didn’t tell me the truth immediately. Now, I understand what the Doctor said before about me cursing him instead of thanking him.

But, there is no time for breakdown. The Doctor was able to figure out that the trees are defending the earth from the solar attack.

I left the Doctor and Clara to be on my own, contemplating the meaning of my new existence.

“So, they finally tell you the truth then?” Someone said.

I glanced up and my eyes widened in surprise when I saw the woman. “Ashildr?”

“Call me ‘Me’.” She said.

We left Ashildr back in the distant past. The fact that she was here confirmed that she was immortal and I shared her fate. I didn’t know how to feel about that.

Me took me to a nearby cafe and ordered tea for the both of us. I sensed that she has resentment toward the Doctor and me.

“Well, you are the only immortal the Doctor seemed to care enough to take with him, unlike myself...or Jack Harkness.” She replied when I asked her about it.

I have no idea who Jack Harkness is but Me explained that Jack is the Doctor’s former companion.

Me told me about her life. She told me about her immortal life so far. She had lost many memories over the long years. She collected journal after journal to write down about her life because she found difficulty holding on her many memories.

I shuddered at the thought that my life is extended indefinetely.

Me gave her phone number and told me to contact her if I want to and then she left me behind.

I didn’t know what to say to the Doctor and Clara so I decided I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t tell them about meeting Me.

Clara apologized for holding the truth from me. The Doctor, as usual, didn’t say anything.

I didn’t know what this meant for my relationship with the Doctor though. Being immortal meant I could stay with the Doctor forever but will our relationship even last forever? What if someday he fall out of love with me? Where would that left me? The thought depressed me so badly.

7777

The Doctor took us to an adventure again and it was just my bad luck that things gone wrong for me...again. I began to feel like the universe is against me or something?

We got stranded on base and naturally a mutating virus was on the loose, infecting people left and right. Of course, I had to be the one who got infected despite being immortal.

Being immortal sucks. The virus got stuck in me. I was in continous state of dying. The Doctor put me on a stasis chamber that will paralyze and put me to sleep while he and Clara worked out the cure by travelling to the distant future.

I was trapped inside the statis chamber for God know how many years. At some point, the stasis chamber got faulty resulting in me getting awaken but paralyzed. I was screaming and begging for help inside my mind, begging the Doctor to come and rescue me but he never did.

It was hard to hold on my sanity. It was a good thing I didn’t feel hunger or thirsty inside the chamber otherwise I feared I would become cannibal and eat myself if that even possible. I can’t even find relief by sleeping. Eventually I was able to move my hand enough to scratch my own face until it bleed, ripped strands of my hairs in a fit of rage. I screamed and cried. Honestly, it was a bliss when miraculously the stasis chamber worked again and put me into sleep.

The next time I was awake, I was no longer on the stasis chamber. I heard familiar voices on the distant. It was the Doctor and Clara arguing about (name) and the stasis chamber. How do I know it was them? It has been so long. My mind might playing a trick on me. I heard them mentioning (name) again.

Oh, (name) is me, right? I opened my eyes and for a while, I couldn’t recognize the surrounding area.

The Doctor and Clara were still unaware that I have awaken. I tried to move my toes and relieved when I realized I could move. I forced myself into a seating position. I took notice of my surrounding. The Tardis, my mind slowly supplied. I got down from the bed and immediately fell into the floor with a loud thud.

They both came into the room and rushed to my aid.

“Are you two...really here? Am I safe now?” I asked in hoarse voice.

Clara looked like she wanted to cry and she hugged me immediately. “I’m so sorry, (name).”

The Doctor glanced at me, for once, I could see that the genuine concern in his expression.

7777

I thought I would get better but I kept having nightmare about being back in the stasis chamber. I would scream so loud and started ripping my hairs off or clawing my skins. The Doctor had to give me sedative and restrained me to bed to stop me from hurting myself and Clara.

The Doctor dropped Clara back on Earth so he can focused on fixing my mind. He asked for my consent to get inside my mind when I was in a better mood. I agreed. I wanted to be able to function again. I didn’t want to hurt myself or Clara or even the Doctor.

He put his hands over my temple and told me to take a deep calm breathe. He put some block over the troublesome memory and hope it would do the trick for my sanity.

Once he deemed me safe, he let me out of the Tardis. I decided to quit my job at the school where Clara teaches. I didn’t want to see the worry or pity in her eyes. I tried to sort my life back together. I got myself a job as a waitress again. Thankfully, the Doctor didn’t make the mistake of calling it a dead end job again otherwise I might slap him silly.

At Clara’s urge, I took an art class as part of therapy.

Despite the block the Doctor put inside my mind, I still have nightmare about the stasis chamber, at least I didn’t go bat crazy about it afterward.

I called Me’s phone number but then I decided to hang up. But the next day, Me showed up on the diner where I worked much to my surprise. She said she recognized my number. I apologized for bothering her.

She insisted I talk to her though so I did.

7777

Lately, the Doctor insisted to have adventure with just the two of us. He made sure it was safe though. I could tell he was worried for me.

I found out that Danny died. I went to Clara’s house to comfort her. She was numb and unresponsive. I called the Doctor to inform him about Clara.

Clara said she need to talk alone with the Doctor and asked me to step back for a bit. Albeit confused, I did as she asked.

Next thing I knew, the world is suddenly overun by cybermen. Kate, from UNIT, picked me up and I was able to reunite with the Doctor. Kate said the Doctor has been chosen as the President of Earth. She also informed me that the Doctor’s enemy, Mistress or Missy, was on board the plane too. But Clara was nowhere to be found. I was very worried.

I met Missy and she curiously observed me. Then, she proceed to mock me as the Doctor’s eternal pet. The Doctor told me to ignore her. But, she knew things and she knew my insecurity regarding the Doctor and Clara. She told me that the first face an incarnation first took sight to was dear to a Time Lord and she knew that I was not his first face, that Clara is. She knew I was not the Doctor’s first choice on anything. The words hurt but I knew it was true.

The Doctor heard every words she said to me but he didn’t even bother to reassure me otherwise. I can’t blame him though. He was busy thinking about how to save the world again. He has no time to coddle me.

The Doctor saved the world again. Clara stopped travelling with the Doctor. I wanted to hit the both of them in the head for being stupid. They lied to each other and they turned to me and made swore up and down not to reveal anything. Stupid Doctor. Stupid Clara.

I continued to travel with the Doctor. I was working on the courage to talk to him about my immortality and what it meant for our relationship. But, I was a coward and it didn’t help that the Doctor might actually avoiding the subject too.

I was glad when Clara returned to travel with the Doctor again. Apparently, they had finally told each other truth, thanks to the dream crabs and...Santa Claus? Whatever. I was just grateful team Tardis is back.

7777

Clara has become reckless and I reprimanded her about it.

“What’s the point of being immortal if you won’t live a little?” Clara blurted out.

I frowned at that, feeling a bit offended. I was beginning to feel like I wasn’t quite as welcomed aboard the Tardis as before. The Doctor has not even taking me to another date since forever and I still haven’t got around to talk to him about our practically non-existent relationship.

I sighed. Maybe I was a bit too sensitive about everything? Missy’s words did bother me a lot. But Clara is my best friend. The Doctor, regardless whether he is my boyfriend or not, is actually a good friend. I should be grateful that they still want me around right?

But, Clara is right though. I was now an immortal. Shouldn’t I change the way I have been living my life? I should stop being timid and like she said to try to take more risks.

Just when I was considering to change myself to fit the Doctor and Clara better, if that even possible, something bad happened. We met Me again in a Trap Street and Clara accidentally sealed her own fate with the Raven. She died.

She was brave right up till the end. She said goodbye to the Doctor and myself. I couldn’t accept that my best friend is about to die. I begged the Doctor to fix it. But, when I saw the sorrow and resignation on his face, I knew there is no saving Clara.

I cried over Clara’s dead body. The Doctor was gone, transported to who know where, by whoever made Me to set a trap for him.

The Doctor didn’t come back for me. Of course, he wouldn’t. I was bitter. He finally got an out from me.

7777

I was depressed, sad and alone. I couldn’t go to Me because I still have mixed feeling for her part in killing Clara. I was afraid of facing my immortality alone. Me did warned me that the Doctor, despite being immortal himself, expressed strong dislike of immortals and he tend to avoid them. He told her other immortals felt wrong to him. I was angry at him for sentencing me to a life of immortality and then abandoned me.

Kate contacted me and invited me to join UNIT. I accepted. She had her best soldier to train me to fight. I was in so much pain and I welcomed the physical pain of the training. Though, I suck at training but I was determined to change myself. If I have to going through my immortality alone, I might as well started training myself to fight to protect myself.

I was surprised when Clara returned with her own Tardis. She said she was worried for me. She was with Me, a future Me, apparently. She warned Clara about myself and the path I had chosen for myself. Clara told me about the Doctor being trapped in confession dial for billion billion years, about how he risked all time and space to bring Clara back and about how he loses his memory of her.

Clara begged me to travel with the Doctor again. “He need you more than ever...”

I wanted to cry. I didn’t want to go back to the Doctor and facing the truth that he never loves me. I wanted to be with my best friend, travelling back to the Gallifrey the long way but she refused me. I wanted to tell her all of my insecuries but I was afraid she already grew tired of it and will mock me for it.

Clara firmly made me sit. “Tell me everything you feel inside that mind of yours.” She said.

And, I told her everything. I told her about what Missy said to me and about the Doctor not caring about it. I knew I sounded pathetic but I tell her anyway.

After I was done pouring my heart out, I asked her if I was a right fit to be his companion. “Wouldn’t it better to let him move on and find a better companion that can keep him in line? Because I certainly couldn’t.”

Clara said the right words to make me feel special but I knew deep down I didn’t believe her every word. She made me promise to travel with the Doctor again and I promised. She left afterward.

I lied to her. I didn’t seek the Doctor. Why would I when he didn’t even care enough to seek me out? He might not remember Clara but he should remember me. If he care for me, he would at least try to find me to console me, wouldn’t he?

I had hope though days after days hoping he would come and get me. He didn’t. I cried, feeling sorry for myself, hating him, wishing for him to let me die instead of turning me into immortal. And then, I tried to contact him to get him to see me when I was drunk out of my mind. But he didn’t come. He abandoned me.

I went insane for a while. I picked up a knife and slit my wrist only to watch it self-healing over and over again. Kate found me eventually and took me to UNIT for treatment. She got me a therapy to help deal with my depression.

7777

After years of hard training, Kate finally allowed me on field mission. I had the advantage since I was immortal so I asked to be given dangerous mission. Kate, at first, reluctant because she recognized me of being suicidal but I insisted on it.

Kate’s science division genius person, O, developed a chip implant that could help with my depression. She agreed to give mission if I agreed to wear it. I accepted immediately.

“Will this help to mend a broken heart and broken mind? Because that would be super great.” I said softly.

After the implant, I felt less sad, less suicidal and more focused on my work at UNIT. It was like my own humanity switch.

7777

I met the Doctor again, accidentaly, during a mission in Sheffield. I was ordered to investigate a possible alien activity over there.

I enlisted a PC, Yazmin Khan, to inform me should she see something strange. She called me later that day about weird alien thing that her friend, Ryan, found earlier. The lead from them led me to the train where Ryan’s grandmother, Grace and her husband, Graham, currently trapped on board a train with an orb of electric tentacles.

That’s when a woman fell from the sky onto the train right in front of me. My eyes widened as I saw the weird stranger. The way she acted though made me suspicious and when she exclaimed having being a scotman before, I immediately knew. I was hit suddenly with grief and anger. But I didn’t say anything because she didn’t even recognize me. She didn’t even know her own name. I was afraid that I would lose control and bitch-slap the Doctor in a fit of my rage.

The Doctor involved all of us in her investigation. I stepped back while she rambled non-stop about the alien. I contacted UNIT and asked Kate to send another agent to deal with the alien and the Doctor. I didn’t give her time to refuse me. I walked away from the warehouse where we currently are when Yaz stopped me. She said the Doctor told her that everyone has been implanted by an explosive chip implant.

I laughed harshly at that. “Well, that’s fine. Maybe I will die for real this time.” I said angrily. “UNIT is sending their best officer to help in dealing with the alien. I have to go.”

Yaz look confused but didn’t stop me.

7777

Back at UNIT, the science division managed to remove the explosive from me. My whole body is shaking with anger and grief. I raised my trembling hands in annoyance. I hated that the Doctor had this effect on me. I hated her already.

Kate, being the nice boss she is, asked me of how I was doing. I was doing so badly that’s for sure.

“I need an upgrade for my chip.” I said.

Kate stared at me with disapproval.

“I’m afraid if I see her again, I might want to kill the Doctor, Kate.” I said. “Please help me.”

7777

The Tardis materialized inside UNIT’s headquarter without warning much to Kate’s dismay.

The Doctor came out, demanding to see me. It was almost like she think UNIT will get in the way of meeting me.

I stared at her, not impressed.

Kate glanced at the two of us and told us to use her office to have a long due talk.

The Doctor looked timid now that we are alone. “I’m sorry for not recognizing you before. Mind still rebooting you know. Regeneration...” She rambled on. “I remember myself eventually...and of you...”

I didn’t reply to her statement, instead I asked, “Why are you here, Doctor?”

“So, you do know who I am that day? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Why should I?”

The Doctor’s jaw dropped. Now she looked like a kicked puppy. “I’m sorry for what I did to you. I didn’t mean to left you behind.”

I sighed. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“It matter to me! I know I wronged you, (name).”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Doctor, because I have made a life, a life without you.” I spat. I wanted to be calm but she brought out the most ugly emotion in me.

She flinched at my tone. She scoffed at what I said. “With UNIT? I hacked your file and you have been reckless, risking your life...”

“YOU HAVE BEEN HACKING MY FILES?!”

The Doctor took a step back in face of my anger.

“You have no right to do that! You don’t even get a say over what I am doing with my life!” I yelled.

“You are my responsibility, (name).”

I scoffed. “Is that all I am to you?”

“I know I let you down.”

“You abandoned me.” I said. “Now, that I have manage to take whatever control I have over my life, you think you can just come in here and what? What do you expect from me this time, Doctor?”

“I want you to come back. I would like to travel again with you.”

“Why? Didn’t you already find new companion? I knew about Yaz, Ryan and Graham, Doctor.”

“Of course you know. UNIT always have to collect data about me.” The Doctor muttered. “But this isn’t about them. It’s about you.”

I shook my head. “It was never about me, Doctor.”

“I know I hurt you, please let me fix my mistake.”

“So now I am a mistake?”

The Doctor groaned. “That’s not what I meant. Stop twisting my words.”

“I don’t want to be with you anymore. You already had an out. Why do you bother with me again?”

“I never wanted an out. I didn’t mean to abandon you. After Trap Street, I...”

“I knew what happened, Doctor. Clara told me about your confession dial and about how you lost your memory of her.”

“I got it back. My memory of Clara.”

“Of course you do.”

The Doctor sighed. “You have always so insecure, (name).”

I glared at her. “Just leave, Doctor. I don’t need you anymore.”

“But I do.” The Doctor replied. “I need you, (name).”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do. And stop dictating my feeling for you. You always like this. What was it you said before? I settled for you instead of Clara?”

I felt like I got slapped. I remembered saying those words to her previous incarnation. “How dare you? You come here like you own the place and then decided on a whim to hurt me?”

“That’s not my intention at all.” The Doctor said. “I know I am not reliable with my feeling but what I said back in Trenzalore still true, every words. I choose you, (name).”

“Why are you doing this to me? Do you just enjoy ripping my heart out?” I asked with glassy eyes.

The Doctor walked fast toward me. She raised my chin and kissed me hard.

I was stunned.

She broke the kiss and look at me shyly. “Will you give me another chance? I promise I will do right by you.”

I broke down. “Doctor...” And I suddenly clutched my chest.

“(name)?” The Doctor called out in worry.

I fell to the ground immediately but she caught me halfway. She yelled for help. She pulled her sonic and started scanning me.

Kate and a few agents rushed into the office.

7777

There was a glitch inside my chip implant. The overwhelming emotion I felt was too much and it caused it to glitch and rebooted.

I woke up in the medical room at UNIT. I could hear the Doctor yelling at Kate about the chip implant she put on me and how dangerous it was.

I pulled myself into a seating position and observed their argument absentmindedly.

The Doctor stopped yelling when she saw me awake. She look into my eyes and saw the indifferent that reflected back in my eyes. She slumped her shoulder.

The chip had rid me of my feeling...for the Doctor.

A/N: I don’t know if there will be part 2 of this. Maybe if inspiration hit, I will. But maybe it ended exactly like that. Not everyone get a happy ending is a theme on most of my fanfiction. Would anyone be interested instead to make the part 2 of their own? Honestly, I write this story with a dark!doctor in mind but the story suddenly got away from me and make a turn to this instead.

#11th doctor x reader #12th doctor x reader #13th doctor x reader #eleventh doctor x reader #twelfth doctor x reader #thirteenth doctor x reader #doctor who fanfiction #doctor who imagine #shiefenwrites

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rottmntquotes · 4 years

Text

Out Of Commission

"Ooooohhhh yeeeeeaaaahhh! I can't believe Hueso allowed us to be the first ones to try his new pizza!"

A symphony of agreements was let out in response to Leo's cheer, followed by excited chanting as Hueso approached the table. Despite the cacophony the boys were creating, Hueso managed to fight back an annoyed sigh, setting his new pizza down on the table and watching as his best customers prepared to dig in. Before this could happen, however, Donnie got a call from April, who alerted them to a battle that was going on between two mutants in Central Park. Much to their dismay, the team was unable to gather the pizza to go, but Leo decided to take a slice and swallow it whole as they stood to leave.

"Can't let your kindness go to waste!" Leo shouted, stopping mid-run and turning around to swallow another slice. And another. And another. "Hueso, this pizza is super fucking good!"

"LEO! GET OVER HERE!" Raph ordered, huffing as Leo complained loudly. No more words were said afterwards, and the boys were gone in no time. Once they were finally gone, Hueso chuckled, gathering the remaining slices of pizza- which meant the two slices Leo was forced to leave -and taking them to the back to throw them away. Knowing that the pizza was good enough to feed any of the turtles was enough reassurance to Hueso that it would be good enough to feed everyone else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I swear to bob, if we have to deal with those ferret mutants one more time, I'm going to use my Ōdachi to dig my own grave."

"You said it brother."

"I hear that."

"Don't have to say that again..."

Calming silence followed the brief conversation, and the boys sat on the floor in the main atrium before deciding to break apart and go to their rooms. For the moment, none of the boys had enough energy to take showers, so they collectively decided that they would take care of those necessities in the morning. As bedtime came, everyone seemed fairly relaxed, and the night went by without a hitch.

At least, for everyone but Leo.

"Ugh... stupid stomach... why are you so upset?" Leo whined softly, curling in on himself and shuddering. Teeth chattered rapidly and low growling echoed through Leo's room, accompanied by soft whispers that made Leo's eyes shift constantly in search of the sources. At one point, Leo swore that he saw a small child run past his room, and it aroused a side of him that he didn't even know existed. Low growls turned into loud hissing, and Leo crawled onto the ground, stalking towards his room's archway on all fours. With every step, Leo became more and more tense, his body instinctively preparing itself for a scuffle. Once he was finally at the archway, Leo crouched down, going silent and waiting exactly six seconds before racing out of his room, screeching loudly and yelping as he fell off the ledge of the sewer.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?! WHO'S THERE?!" Raph roared, shooting out of his room with a pillow in his hand. Donnie and Mikey ran out of their rooms as well, holding a paint brush and a snow globe respectively. No sight of an intruder was found, and Raph started to think that they had all dreamed the same thing.

That is, until Leo let out a loud cry of pain.

"Leo!" Raph, Donnie, and Mikey shouted in unison, hopping down and circling around their blue loving brother to see what had happened. At close range, it could easily be seen that Leo had broken his left arm, and twisted his right ankle, explaining his pained cry. Donnie went to work effective immediately, helping Leo up and handing the Slider to Raph, following his brothers back onto the ledge and leading them to the lab. Leo was then sat down on Donnie's resident cot, being distracted by Raph and Mikey while Donnie got to work on setting and slinging Leo's injuries. Granted, Leo did attempt to bite and scratch Donnie with every bout of pain that appeared, but other than that everything turned out fine. After being patched up, Leo was left alone in the lab, having been given a few pain pills to keep him stable throughout the night. Unfortunately, Leo's insomnia chose to strike that night, leaving him unable to get a good night's sleep.

The next morning, Donnie walked into the lab to check on Leo, raising a brow as he caught his twin sitting in front of a wall and mumbling. Nonchalantly, Donnie walked up to Leo, crouching down and trying to decipher what Leo was saying. Despite the close range, Donnie was unable to understand his brother's words. With a hum, Donnie gasped with revelation, snapping and focusing his attention on attempting to use their ever-popular twin telepathy. It took a good while, but Donnie was finally able to enter his brother's psyche, humming in surprise at the strange sights he was met with.

Unlike the normal bright and beautiful landscape that his twin's mind usually harbored, Donnie found himself in the middle of a foggy and dark swamp. The sounds of bubbling sent shivers down Donnie's spine, and he groaned in distaste as he realized that he was standing in some sort of dark sludge. The vegetation around Donatello was rotten and crumbling, the sky was smothered in heavy clouds, and any sort of wildlife present let out terrifying screeches in place of their normal chirps, squeaks, and sweet sounds.

"Brother... what has happened to you...?" Donnie whispered, forcing himself through the thick sludge and using his limited sense of smell to try and search for his brother's scent. The task proved to be difficult thanks to the messed up atmosphere, but Donnie soon caught sight of Leo. Smiling, Donnie moved faster, eventually managing to get next to Leo. "Hey, what's going on here? Why is everything so messed up?"

Leo whimpered, turning to face Donnie with a deep frown. The sight alone was enough to make Donnie sick, and the feeling got worse as Leo opened his mouth to say something, only to fall forward and begin hurling violently. This was all it took to drive Donnie out of Leo's psyche, and the Softshell backed away from his twin with the trademark speed of his species. Loud panting seemed to be all Leo needed to stop his staring, and he groaned pathetically, falling forward and shaking. Donnie- being the scientist he was -went into doctor mode immediately, checking all of Leo's vitals and cursing under his breath as every one of the tests proved to be spiking aggressively.

"Leo? Leo, can you hear me? Leo!" Donnie shouted, drawing Leo close and cradling Leo until he stopped shaking. "Leo...? Are you okay?"

An eerie silence was what Donnie received, and he held back a concerned huff, lightly gripping Leo's jaw to turn his face forward. As soon as the duo made eye contact, Leo hissed, moving like a viper despite his injuries and biting down on Donnie's shoulder, clamping down hard enough to make sure that he stayed attached to Donnie's shoulder. Screams and cries of pain and terror rang through the lair, drawing in the rest of the family. Raph went into action as soon as he saw what was happening, using one of his claws to loosen Leo's grip.

"Mikey! I need you and dad to pull Leo back! And do it fast because I have no idea how long I can keep Leo's bite loose enough!" Mikey and Splinter nodded, racing forwards and tackling Leo back, holding him down and doing their best to ignore the bits of skin and scales that were caught between Leo's teeth. "Keep him down! I'll wrap Donnie up!"

"No! We will not be able to hold him down for that long! Raphael, I need you to go into my room and look under my bed! There is a box labeled with a dragon's tooth, and I need you to grab it and bring it!"

"But dad-"

"DO IT NOW!" Raph squeaked, racing off to do as told. In the meantime, Mikey was following Donnie's instructions on how to patch up the large injury, and Splinter was using every bit of strength in his tiny rat body to hold his son down. As much as it hurt Splinter to watch his son suffer like this, he knew that feeling sorry for Leonardo and trying to talk about things was not going to work. Thankfully, before Splinter could drift farther into his thoughts, Raph returned with the box, sliding it next to Splinter and panting. "Good. Now hold your brother down."

"Master Splinter, what's going on with him?" Raph asked, his heart nearly stopping as he finally took notice of Leo's rapid heartbeat. Splinter shook his head, admitting that he did not know, much to his dismay. Two more seconds passed, though they felt like two hours, and Splinter was not surprised by the gasps of shock that he earned when the boys saw what was harbored in the box.

"This muzzle and these bindings should be strong enough to keep Leonardo stable. They are made of the strongest and finest material known in the Hidden City, and I have been saving them for a time like this." Splinter explained, scooting close to Leo and using a finger to press down on a pressure point to put Leo to sleep. "I never wanted this to happen, but I knew that it was destined to. You boys are growing up, and your animal instincts mixed with the ooze in your blood was bound to become a normal part of your lives."

"Wait, are you saying that this is because of us growing up?" Mikey asked, watching with slight disgust as the muzzle was placed on Leo.

"I am saying that it is likely. But we cannot know that for sure. I learned many of the things about raising you as children from books, movies, and TV shows. But there is only one person who is able to tell us more about the ooze and how it affects the composition of those it mutates..."

"Ugh... are we going to go to Draxum's apartment?" Raph asked, catching the beaker that Mikey threw at him; much to Donnie's horror.

"Yes." Splinter confirmed with annoyance. "We are going to Draxum's apartment."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So you are saying that he simply started to attack the purple one out of nowhere?"

"Yes, Barry. That's what we're saying."

Baron Draxum snorted, putting a fist up to his mouth and snickering softly. Splinter and Raph sneered at Draxum's reaction, holding back choice words and leaving Donnie and Mikey to themselves. At the moment, Donnie was instructed to sit down on Draxum's refurnished couch, resting and trying to keep himself calm despite the blood that was still beginning to pour out in generous amounts. Next to Donnie sat Mikey, who was attempting to cheer Donnie up by regaling tales that happened between him and Todd. On the floor lay Leo. No sounds came from Leo, even as his eyes stayed wide open. His pupils were dilated, breathing unsteady, and though he would make eye contact with his family regularly, they each swore that it was like he wasn't even looking at them; rather that he was looking through them.

"Draxum, when you are done with your childish behaviors, we would appreciate it very much if you helped us understand what is going on here." Splinter hissed through clenched teeth, throwing his ears back to convey his anger. Draxum chuckled one last time before clearing his throat, looking down at Leo and humming.

"I hate to disappoint you, Lou Jitsu, but I must admit that this is something I am unable to help you with." Draxum admitted, feeling an odd sense of... something at the sight of one of his creations being in such a state. "Unlike what you might want to believe, the things you have described to me are in no way, shape, or form related to my ooze. And do be reminded that I spent years studying both the ooze and turtle species before combining them."

"Well then what are we supposed to do?! Who could we possibly go to that knows enough about the mystic types to help us?!" Raph groaned, letting a tense quiet befall the group before a loud gasp resounded between them. "No..."

"Raphael, we must."

"But father, she has done so many awful things to us! How can we trust her to help?!"

"We cannot, Donatello, but unfortunately she is the only other one we can go to..."

"If that's the case, then I would like to go as well! Let me say hello to an old enemy." Draxum rubbed his hands together, smiling darkly as he did so. "Let us go and try to bargain with Big Mama..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alright, you know what to do boys. Look for Big Mama, and when you see her, do not engage. Keep her in your sight and keep us updated on where she is so we can join you."

"Yes, father."

"Got it pops."

"We'll find her, dad."

Splinter frowned and watched his healthy sons fan out through the Hidden City, his ears swiveling to better pick up the sound of Leo's labored breathing. A mustard coloured plastron rose and fell with each of Leo's breaths, and quiet wheezing drove spikes of pain and sadness through Splinter's heart. A heavy hand fell on Splinter's shoulder, and he turned to look up at Draxum.

"Do not worry, Jitsu." Draxum started, sitting down and staring at Leo's stiff body. "While your children may be stubborn, and reckless, and irresponsible, and make stupid decisions, and-"

"Are you trying to make me feel better, or insult my sons for the next half hour?" Splinter interjected, glaring at Draxum sharply.

"Right, my apologies." Draxum then moved his hand from Splinter's shoulder to Leo's neck, showing a rare display of affection. "While they do have all of those things, they have many other positives that outweigh the negatives. They are each intelligent in their own ways, strong in their own ways, perseverant, caring, sympathetic, energetic, and so many other things! They are all of these things, and not because of themselves. They are all of these things because of you, Jitsu. You have done a wonderful job taking care of these boys, and there is no one else who could have possibly-"

"DAD! DRAXUM! YOU HAVE TO TAKE LEO HOME!" Raph's frantic screaming startled Splinter and Draxum out of their conversation, and they stood up abruptly. In one swift movement, Draxum picked Leo up, holding the young turtle close and keeping a tight grip on the blue clad mutant. The duo stood still, looking around for any movements that would signify that Big Mama or her goons were nearby. The atmosphere was tense, and it took only one mistimed step for Splinter to throw a kunai at a nearby alleyway, smirking at the sound of the blade hitting even the smallest bit of skin.

"Draxum! Take Leonardo to the Candy Store!" Splinter ordered, knowing that Draxum was aware of what the order meant. In a split second, Draxum raced away, not turning to watch Splinter take down Big Mama's goons with little to no effort.

"Do not worry, blue one. We will find some way to fix you." Draxum assured, stopping and hiding behind a thick buildup of brush. More wheezing came from Leo, leading Draxum to believe that Splinter may have fastened the muzzle too tight. Out of an unexpected bout of pity, Draxum loosened the muzzle without second thought, doing the same with the rest of Leo's bindings. As soon as Draxum loosed the bindings surrounding Leo's legs, the mutant turtle screeched, easily sliding out of his binds and pinning Draxum onto the ground. The action was enough to shock Draxum into fighting back, and he used a vine to throw Leo out of the brush, his ears falling flat against his face as he watched Leo race off into the Hidden City. "This is not going to end well..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where am I? What am I doing here? How did I get here?

Leo panted and whimpered with every step as he raced through the Hidden City, shocking each citizen with the sight of seeing a teenaged turtle running past them on all fours.

I have to find my family! Where are they?! Why aren't they with me?!

Blurry vision and terrible coordination accompanied Leo in his frantic search for his brothers and/or father(s), leading him to believe that he had been injected with some sort of virus or poison. Part of him didn't want to believe that he had been poisoned, as the last time he was poisoned he had caught on fire.

Why is everything so weird?! I can't see anything right! Raph! Donnie! Mikey! Splinter! Draxum! Where are you?!

All of a sudden, Leo felt two hands wrap around his waist, and he screamed at the top of his lungs, taking the time that his enemy was shocked to attack. With a bite to his assailant's arm, Leo kicked the enemy back, returning to his search for familiar faces.

Where are they?! Where is my family?! Where. Is. My-

"Well, lookie-lookie what we have here! My little champion turtley-boo!" Leo knew that voice, those words, that tone. It was Big Mama, but he couldn't see her! He could smell her, he could hear her, he could sense her presence, but all he saw was a blurry blob of lavender.

Big Mama... oh-ho-ho, wait until I'm done with you! When I get my claws on you, I'm gonna-

"Gunna eat... dump the... and keep... you see the... GOT YA!" Leo fell forward, coughing and whining as he attempted to even out his breathing. "Brothers... eat... keep at... don't you... hope..."

"Oh, you poor thing! You seem to be more woozy-frazzled than normal!" Big Mama chimed, leaning over to boop Leo's nose. A weak bite was sent in Big Mama's way, followed by a wheezy hiss. "And here I thought you were smarter and stronger than this."

I am! You awful Yokai! I'm not so weak that I can't fight you!

Leo gave another weak hiss, trying his best to push himself up. When he failed, Leo started to sob, taking notice of how weak his body had truly become. He didn't feel anything, he couldn't see anything, and his body was beginning to give up on him. Whatever this was, it was attacking Leo with a vengeance, and wasn't looking to give up until Leo was dead.

"Hmm, I must say that I am beginning to feel a bit of pity for you." Big Mama admitted, patting a finger on her chin as if thinking intensely. "Hey! I have an idea! What if I were to help you? I could help nurse you back to help, and in turn-"

"NO! No... don't... coin... flip..." Leo spat through his tears. Big Mama shook her head in disapproval, booping Leo's nose once more.

"Let Big Mama finish." The disguised Yokai then smirked deviously. "Now, I will help you, and in turn... you will fight in my Battle Nexus for the next year. You will be in my debt, and you will not be allowed to have your family help, or see your family without permission."

"Would... die..." Leo ground out, high pitched whimpers becoming more and more audible. "Rather... would... death..."

"I'm sure you would, young one." Big Mama giggled. "But I don't think your family would enjoy that very much."

No... don't do this...

"Just think, how would your brothers feel?" Big Mama hummed, putting her hands on her hips. "And your father, and your close friends? I'm sure none of them would be very pleased. Now, of course, none of them would be jumping up and diddly-down when they find out about the deal, but at least you'd be alive! To make it sweeter, I may just make it so that you can see your family twice a month for 12 hours each time! How does that sound?"

...

"Don't... can't..." Leo stopped, thinking over Big Mama's words and grimacing at how awful the truth was. "...Okay..."

"Good boy! Now, let us go and get you fixed up! Can't have a weak champion now, can we?" On any other day, the word Champion would have made Leo's heart soar, but now it just seemed like a mockery. The sound of grunting was followed by Leo feeling his body being lifted up. He had no strength to fight back, so he did nothing more than let himself be carried to Big Mama's Battle Nexus.

And, dear Pizza Supreme...

A nap really sounded good right now.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, yeah; I realize that I left out the others after the second third of the fic, but I couldn't really think of anything to use them for that wouldn't end with the whole "Family getting back together and learning a lesson about love and acceptance" trope. That would have completely ruined the original intention of ambiguity for the ending, so I shall leave it up to you to determine how they react/respond to learning about this deal.

*It took me a while to realize that I didn’t make it clear what was affecting Leo. In short, he has Belladonna (Nightshade) poisoning, and it was contracted by a new ingredient in Hueso’s pizza that was mixed in with the pizza sauce. The side effects were displayed throughout the fic, and trust me when I say that it took some time to think of how it would effect him - what with him being a mutant turtle with human DNA and all.

#RotTMNT #Rise of the TMNT #Fanfic #This Is An Experimental Fic #Sorry If It's Confusing #I Got Sleepy Halfway Through

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post-itpenny · 4 years

Text

My Nature

Ok, last part of the story! A warning tag for gore but not too bad. Tagging @grotesquegabby for Alex.

Imagine-

Sitting in a chair in a room with no light. The walls and floors are bare. Imagine you can’t leave the chair.

Now imagine there is a small window in front of you. Sometimes it’s very far away and you can barely see out of it, sometimes it’s right in your face, exposing every detail of what’s on the other side.

Through this window you see… yourself. Your hands and arms, the tip of your nose. You see yourself acting and doing and saying things you did not choose to do. Feeling all the pain your body goes through. You watch yourself and yet you are not yourself. The real you is trapped in a dark room unable to leave a chair. The you outside the window is your body but not you.

And no matter how much you scream or try to move there is nothing. No control.

This is what Peregrine was going through.

He was in pain from the burns to his face and arms. He was crying in horror as he watched himself strangle Magpie. Aware of Circe taunting his sister using all the repressed feelings and memories he had tried to bury down and move on from. They didn’t matter anymore to him, or at least he was trying not to let them be.

Magpie passed out, her body going limp.

Peregrine felt his heart drop. “Please no, no, no, no.”

He watched his hand reach out and check her pulse, felt it’s faint beating.

Peregrine sighed in relief.

He watched his hand reach out and touch his sister’s face.

…………………………….

There was something banging against Alex’s window.

The party clown had been mindlessly channel surfing when he heard it, looking up from the tv to see Cobweb of all creatures desperately trying to get in.

Alex arched an eyebrow in curiosity as he opened the window, letting the grumpy fairy inside.

“Hey there bud. What’s the-“

Alex stopped at the sight of the little fairy with his usual frown but shaking in fear. As if trying to keep a brave face.

Alex scooped Cobweb up, “what happened?”

……………………………..

The door to the manor was busted down with a swift kick of Alex’s foot.

“Knock, knock.”

He walked in, hands in his pockets and Cobweb on his shoulder. A smile on his face.

But it wasn’t his usual smile, this one was… off.

Alex whistled a tune as he walked down the hall, stopping as he turned a corner to Magpie’s parlor.

There was Magpie and Peregrine standing next to each other.

Magpie tilted her head with an empty smile. “You weren’t expected.”

Alex grunted at the force of air that knocked into him. Cobweb being thrown off but Alex holding his footing. He blinked, Peregrine slamming his fist down on Alex’s shoulder.

Alex slipped out of the way with a grin, grabbing Peregrine’s arm and tossing him into a wall. Before he could recover Alex was on him. Punching him squarely in the face.

As Peregrine collapsed Magpie stumbled as well. Alex chuckled. Must have knocked whoever was in ol’ Peri clean out of him. Too easy.

The walls ripped as pipes and wires burst forth, trying to wrap around Alex as he slipped through them easily. From his back dark tentacles burst forth, reaching out to restrain Magpie. She teleported out of the way and sent a stronger gust of wind.

This time Alex nearly did fall, surprised when someone caught him.

Peregrine looked like he had been dragged through hell, his face and arms burnt and clothes singed and torn.

“It’s Circe,” Peregrine grunted, “Bitch is standing outside.”

“Well let’s say hello!” Alex laughed as he turned to run.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

They turned at the sound of Circe’s voice coming from Magpie. She had summoned a knife, holding it against her throat as a thin trickle of blood formed.

Both froze, Alex’s grin tightened as Peregrine growled.

Magpie smiled, her eyes showing fear. “Let’s all be nice and calm as we say hello. Ash still needs a host anyways.”

They walked back to the entry hall, Magpie behind with the knife still to her throat. Ash and Circe were already waiting for them. In Circe’s hand was a struggling Cobweb.

“Look Pie it’s your little plaything!” Circe cheered as she tossed the little fairy aside, Cobweb crashing on the floor where Trouble was trying to stand guard over the still limp forms of the other three.

“He thought it was a good idea to pull my hair, how cute” she sneered.

Ash looked over Peregrine with disgust, “Circe you trashed this one. What am I supposed-“

“Oh shut up,” Circe snapped. “Use the other then I don’t care.” She smiled at Magpie, “wouldn’t that be cute you little freak? You like him don’t you?”

Alex looked over his shoulder. Magpie watching him with the same empty smile and tears in her eyes.

Alex turned back around to find Ash’s hand on his face and an unfamiliar pressure boring into his brain-.

Well fuck that.

Alex grinned as Ash stepped back with a hiss.

What the hell is your problem?” Circe asked with a roll of her eyes.

Ash grimaced “what the hell spawned something like you?!”

“Hey now, my mom’s a nice lady. My old man however...” Alex chuckled darkly. Beside him Peregrine turned pale.

Circe scoffed. Behind them Magpie stomped her foot as the ground split. Pulling Alex and Peregrine aside.

Ash sighed in annoyance. “Really? That’s the best you can come up with? I’m so scared-“

“Shut up it's not easy controlling-“

“You just don’t have any good ideas,” Ash sneered. “Let me take a turn I coul-“

“Shut your mouth,” Circe snapped. “Do you realize how stupid- ugh!”

Alex climbed to his feet and dusted off his jacket. “Hey Lady Luck I know you’re in there. You really gonna just let-“

“Shut up!” Circe yelled. Magpie flinging her hand in Alex’s direction as he was tossed across the room and pinned to the wall by an invisible force.

Circe smirked. “You want to be impressed?” She asked her brother. “Fine, I just needed some inspiration.”

Magpie raised her hand, power crackling at her fingertips, and turned to where the fairies and Trouble were huddled on the floor.

“How childish do you have to be to make something like this?” Circe snickered. “Pathetic... get rid of them.”

BOOM!

The explosion came in a flash of light and heat. Drowning out the split second where four tiny voices screamed.

The explosion sent shockwaves out, ripping up the metal walls of the warehouses around it and tearing at the streets. Workers running for their lives.

The dust settled to show the entire front wall of Magpie’s home gone, hardly a splinter of wood or speck of stone remained.

Yet the fairies and Trouble were just fine.

Ash gaped in surprise, “what the-“

In unison Magpie and Circe fell to their knees. Hands on their heads as if in pain.

Ash tried to run to his sister’s side only for a black tentacle to wrap around his ankle and flip him up in the air. Alex chuckled as Ash thrashed about like a fish, “not today buddy.”

Peregrine knelt beside Magpie and placed a hand on her shoulder. Not saying anything but just assuring her he was there.

For a fight it was surprisingly quiet, the two women with their eyes locked on eachother. Whatever was happening known only between them.

Then, strangely, Magpie began humming. Peregrine knew it, had heard his sister sing it so many times as children and familiar with the feeling it brought. Alex watched in confusion, a shiver passing through him as he felt a pull at his-

Circe collapsed.

Magpie gasped for air as she fell forward into Peregrine’s arms. Alex falling to the floor as he was freed. He laughed as he flung Ash away and pulled both siblings into a hug. “You don’t ever do that to me again ok? You know I would have-“

L̵̻͌̉e̸̛̙͖͇t̵͕̬̑̓͜ ̷̙̘̲͝m̵̢̗̥̄͛̐͝ȩ̸̰͙̎ ̷̨̟̩̌͜g̶̽͂͠ͅo̴̺̎.̷̣̙̙͐͝”̵̲̇̈́͘

Both Alex and Peregrine jumped back as Magpie climbed to her feet. Eyes wild and the veins under her skin glowing.

Circe looked up in alarm as hands materialize from nowhere, clawed fingers ripping at her skin and tearing at her clothes. She screamed and thrashed about. Ash backing away in alarm as Magpie snapped her fingers and the air was sucked out of his lungs and turned to frost that formed small icicles, piercing his face.

He fell to the floor bleeding as he struggled for air. With a flick of her wrist he was flung out the manor and into the destroyed street beyond. Circe has somehow fought off the hands and charged at Magpie, hand extended.

Magpie reached out and Circe was hauled into the air. Arms and legs spread like a grotesque starfish.

Circe gasped in pain as her limbs were stretched. Joints popping, skin creaking. Stretching farther and farther.

For a moment Peregrine wondered if Magpie planned to draw and quarter Circe in her own fashion until a new change took hold.

Magpie’s skin was lit up like a star, heat radiating off her. Circe’s mouth open wide in a silent scream as the skin at the edges of her fingers and toes began to unravel like thread. Then the nails, the veins, the bones.

Soon both hands and feet were gone, nothing but piles of ribboned flesh on the floor. Alex and Peregrine doing nothing to stop Magpie’s torment while the fairies watched on in horror. Peasblossom shuddering and turning away at the scene.

As Circe’s arms and legs finished unraveling she began to silently sob.

Then, it stopped.

Magpie was breathing heavily, body shaking in anger. Tears streaming down her face.

Y̶̨̩̽̓̿̒o̸̦̱̽̓͊u̵̼̫͌̆̚͝ ̵̘̜͇̉c̶̨̀̑͘o̶̧͊̀͂͋u̶̡̼̠̽͒̇l̶̛̲̫̲͛̆̓ḑ̷̼͕͕̏̅͂n̸̼̩̲͗̚’̵̖̗̥̍̓͠t̷͉̏ ̸̟̬̻̬̃͑͆̉c̵̭̼̳͊͝o̶̙̰͍̹̔͛ñ̷̗̻̒́́t̵̡̜̉̀͛r̶̥͍̀ͅo̸̗̜̥͛̑̕͝l̵̪̥̃̈ ̸͕̗̻̐̓m̴̦̹̃̅e̶̡̤̹͆̎̓͜ ̸̤̦̞̾b̴̺̘̼̯́̎̀ë̶̜̩̀̋̚c̶̗̀́͋͝a̷̦͇̜̜̚u̸̪͖̗̇ş̴͔̝̟͂e̷͍͓̔̌̊ ̴̠̳̩̍͌ͅỳ̵͈̠͊o̷̹͒̓ŭ̴̲̦ ̵̦͉̲͙̅̿̇̋l̷̹̘͉̉͆͝ä̷̺̰̘̦́̆̀̑c̴͙̼̹͋͝k̶̛̰̤͗ ̷̡̅͂t̷̡͖͔̘̋͘h̷͔̦̮̀͒̏̿ë̵̠̥̙̉̔̀ ̴̡̤͔͖̇̕͝ḯ̸̬m̷͇̙̜̘͗̈́͛̚â̸͕̥͉͂͗g̶̱͛i̵̢̛̭̐n̸͚͇͙̚a̷̙̾͋͗t̶̼͍̊i̴̡͉͓̽̾͝o̵̡̽̽̈́̇n̷̼̻̅̒̇͊.̵̙̳̋͛̏̐ ̵̦̣͠L̶̝̮͆e̶̡̥̮̩̓ț̸̝̌͘’̶̤̺̭̼͋̿̃s̸̳͚̏͝ ̶̣͙̀̅͛g̴̢̻͈̺̍̌e̶͔̯̩͋̈́t̸̰̞̼̓̾ ̴̭̙̞̒̃c̷̠͆͑̊̚r̶̤̉̐͜ë̵̢̺͖́̓̚à̸̲̙́t̴̞̿̊̈́ĭ̴͖v̵̹̣̦̉̒̄̒ȅ̸̤̞͑͜ ̵̩͈̭̆C̴̻̋͝i̵̗͊r̶̪̪̮̲͗c̶̹͓͊ͅe̴̛̮̘̖̲͋̅.̴͖̝̪͝”̷̤̯̣͑̈̚

If Circe thought her body unraveling was painful, the reverse was so much worse.

The deadlight finally found her voice as she shrieked hysterically while her body reformed. Threads of flesh stitching back together.

Alex was about to ask what Magpie was doing when there was an explosion of light. Magpie’s hair erupting in a thousand shades of color that reached out as if to touch everything as Magpie began to walk. Each step a wave of power rushed out as the manor began to restore itself.

Magpie dragged a still screaming Circe with her as she went into the street. Colorful pavement forming and twisting around strange new buildings where the warehouses once stood. Strange and new plant life growing from nowhere. Colors of every shade known and unknown painted everything as all forms of insects, flowers, stretches of yarn, statues, crystals, trinkets, and all manner of things appeared everywhere. It was beautiful and full of life and color. A chaotic creation surrounding the restored manor.

And all the while Circe still screamed.

Peregrine felt his skin tingle, looking down at burned hands now healing.

Magpie now stood before Ash and Circe. There was a humming sound again. It was not Magpie but the same song from earlier. Alex shivered again as he felt the pull once more at his lights.

Alex blinked, looking down at his body and realizing his deadlights were indeed glowing faintly under his skin. Peregrine’s as well from where they were stored in his stomach and hands.

Ash and Circe glowed brightly, the sound intensifying as Magpie reached out.

“Well that’s new,” Alex whistled.

Peregrine however shook his head, “I think she could do this the whole time.”

Magpie closed her eyes as the deadlights of everyone around her hummed with life. A song she knew so well. With her outstretched hand she snapped her fingers.

The humming of Ash and Circe’s lights changed as they shouted in pain.

Magpie smiled sweetly, “On this planet you belong to me, your lights obey me. If you ever touch one of my family again they will listen only to me.”

As if on cue their lights flicked as they thrashed in pain. Bits of skin flaking off and dissolving into the air as if they threatened to fall apart.

“̸̯̜̆͒Ṅ̴͙̭̪̪̅̄o̴͙̠͇̅̂̎̒w̷̖͚͒ ̴̦̖̣̠̈́͛̎̌ģ̷̛͉̚ę̸̜̼͆͂́̎ͅt̵͕̹͚͊̑̿̀ ̴͖̪̄o̶̫͕̜̎̋͆̽u̶̘̯̪̓͘ţ̴͓̺̫̎͒̕.̴̙̈́̉͌͝”̵̛̬̦̮͔͌́͘

They were gone in a loud “pop!” Magpie taking slow breaths as the color left her hair and the glowing faded.

“So you can just talk to lights now huh?” Alex questioned as he walked up behind her. “Well why the hell not I gue-“

Magpie crashed into him with a tight hug. Burying her face in his jacket, shaking with tears.

Alex hugged her back and smoothed her hair. “It’s all good Lady Luck, it’s ok.”

Magpie reached out an arm and grabbed Peregrine who for once was not opposed to the forced group hug. “I’m so sorry I-“

“It’s ok,” Peregrine insisted as he hugged her back. “I’m sorry too, it's ok. But Pie you should have just kill-“

“No.” Magpie insisted as she pulled away.

Alex chuckled, “it’s cool and anyways if they come back I can always-“

“̸̡̩̓͒I̸̦̬̽̂͒ ̴̼̇s̵̻̗̰̩̉̕ā̶̺͚̈́i̸̗̟̐̊d̴̛̟̭̒̂͑ͅͅ ̸̠̈́̎͋͂n̴͖̠̲̕͝ͅo̵͉̘̹̮̽̐͊͘.̴̗͙͔̊͑”̴̡̮̓̐̄̀

Alex blinked in surprise. Magpie glaring at him and Peregrine both.

“̶̧̡̎̔͠Y̸̧̓̃͂o̴͉̮̥͊̔u̶̠͍͉͆̈́̆ ̸͖̒̋̚d̷̢͐ò̵͕̼̭̿͘n̶͙͙̱̐̾̅’̵̑́̊ͅt̶̰̣̂̾͘͜ ̸̙͚̻͛̅̆t̷͉̝̫͂h̸̞̀̃į̸̤̿n̴̢̥͚̓͑kI̵ ̷c̵o̶u̷l̴d̸ ̷h̸a̷v̵e̴ ̸j̵u̵s̴t killed them myself?” I’m not like either of you. I could erase any of you molecule by molecule. I could shut off your lights in a second or force them to my will and make you beg like dogs-“

“I’m not like either of you, I’m not like them. I̸’̷m̵ ̸w̵o̶r̵s̵e̷.̸”

“... But that’s why I fight to be better. That’s my nature.”

Magpie walked passed them both and back into her home that now sat surrounded by her tiny chaotic new realm that was nestled upon the planet under a cotton candy-colored sky.

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keelywolfe · 4 years

Text

FIC: Biting Off More Than You Can Chew; part 10

Summary: Ugh, Rus must be coming down with something

Note: I am on fire this week, so here is an update for my heat story! Finally!

Tags: heatfic, dubious consent, NSFW, frenemies to lovers, mates, first time, more if I think of them

PLEASE READ THE TAGS: This is a Heat story, so there are going to be issues of consent. I don’t do partner rape, nope, but hey, I want to be straight with y’all. I like heatfics personally, but I understand how they can be troubling for some people. So there it is.

Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9

Read Chapter 10 on AO3

Read it here!

~~*~~

The next morning Rus wasn’t so sure the temperature problem was with the thermostat. He woke up to bones that felt gummy with sweat, his joints aching. Even his mattress was damp, the sheets tinged orange and Rus groaned as he struggled free of the covers.

Well, wasn’t this a piss syrup on top of his shit sundae of a month. After everything else that went down, he was getting sick on top of it. Probably all that stress was getting to him and his low HP pretty much guaranteed he took every little germ he ever met home for a visit. Whatever was wrong, it wasn’t bad enough yet to keep him in bed for an extended vacation, so he may as well get up.

The light creeping through the curtains was bright enough to tell him that Blue let him sleep in for once and that only made him feel worse. After bouncing his brother off the front steps yesterday, the least he could do was manage his own sentry duty.

Rus hauled himself off to the shower, letting lukewarm water wash away that uncomfortable stickiness. He wandered back to his room in only a towel without a single scolding or even a good morning, so Blue probably already left for the day. Most of his clothes were balled up in a corner of the room, but there were a couple of clean hoodies hanging in the closet and Rus slipped one on, breathing in the freshness of laundry soap. Normally, he didn’t give much of a shit, but if it was bad enough that Blue bitched at him, it was time to give all his clothes a good scrub.

That could wait for tonight when he was off-duty, and Rus finished dressing to head downstairs. Coffee was on his mind, black as the interior of his skull, and with enough sugar to turn it to slush.

Downstairs, he frowned at the splintered jamb on the kitchen door. He ran a finger over the damaged wood, taking in the gouges left by bone. Damn, his brother must've been losing his shit listening through the door and it wasn't like Rus could blame him. If he'd been on this side listening to Blue whining like he had, there wouldn’t be a door left.

On the table was a covered plate, left by his brother, and Rus lifted the cover to check out what awesome breakfast was waiting for him. Soft-yolk eggs and browned sausages, not quite cooled to the point of being rubbery, and toast dripping with melted honey butter. Tasty goodness and there wasn’t a reason that the sight of it should make his magic lurch with nausea. He dropped the cover with a clatter and turned away, covering his mouth with one hand as he struggled not to puke on his brother’s nice, clean floor. What the fuck, not ten seconds ago breakfast sounded a treat and now…?

Okay, definitely coming down with something.

Coffee still seemed like it was on the table and Rus poured himself a cup, but he kept the sugar to only a couple spoonfuls. It didn’t exactly settle his magic, but he didn’t feel like wrecking his perfectly nice sneakers anymore, so he supposed that was something.

He sipped it gingerly, considering. If he went back to bed, Blue might be irritated at first, but he’d get over it pretty quick once he found out Rus was sick. On the other hand, he didn’t feel that bad, and if Blue thought he was getting a bug, he could look forward to about a week of his bro fussing over him, playing nursemaid and filling him up with clear fluids and sympathy. That was always great when he was sick, not so much when he was feeling better and ready to hit the streets again.

By the time he went for a second cup, he’d made a decision. Try to hit up his sentry station for his shift and if he still felt shit by the end, he’d let Blue in on the fact that they were about to get hit with some germy visitors. That was the plan and he was gonna stick to it.

Probably.

Rus wandered outside and directly into a shortcut, stepping out by the rickety folding chair at his sentry station. He plopped into it, propping up his untied sneakers on the ledge. If there were any Humans thinking of showing up in the Underground, he hoped they’d wait until next week because for today? Rus wasn’t up to meeting any new ‘friends’.

~~*~~

Hot. He was so hot, so fucking hot, and he ached, bone deep ache, a niggling itch that started in his soul and twined down between his legs, begging to be scratched. Not by himself, no, just thinking about jerking off made him cringe. He needed something (someone) something else, he needed, he needed—

“Papy!”

His brother’s indignant cry startled Rus so much he nearly fell out of his chair, wobbling ominously until he caught his balance.

“huh?” Rus said muzzily. He blinked hard, wincing. The artificial light seeming painfully bright this morning. Or maybe more like past noon given his brother’s outraged look. He was about to ask, trying to get past the sticky, clotted mass that was currently his mind, but Blue didn’t stop, ranting on.

“Sleeping on duty, honestly! You didn’t even notice me coming up, how do you expect to catch a Human that way?”

“i don’t…uh…” There was supposed to be a pun of some sort that went there, just to see his brother howl in outrage even as he tried not to laugh. But all his thoughts were gluey, stuck on the fact that he was too damn hot. Rus pushed down his hood, exposing his skull to the chilly Snowdin air. Normally he didn’t exactly mind the cold, but it didn’t usually feel like such a glorious relief. It made him want to yank up his shirt, let all that cold air in to mingle around his ribs, and one of his hands actually twitched towards his shirt hem. He managed to wake up a little more before he got that far to find Blue had fallen silent and was staring at him with some concern.

“Are you all right?” Blue asked finally. The stars of his eye lights faded down into pale circles, rounded and bland.

“yeah, why?” Rus said distractedly. If only it wasn’t so fucking hot—

Blue reached out and Rus felt him swipe a finger down his skull, stared in bewilderment as Blue showed him the streak of orange on his glove’s fingertip. “Because you’re sweating terribly. Are you feeling all right?”

Rus wasn’t exactly sure how to answer that one. With his hood down, he felt a little better, that constricting fever easing up a little. He didn’t feel bad, he felt weird, fuck, wasn’t that just his luck? Probably catching the Spotted Monster flu or something.

“yeah,” Rus said slowly, still not sure if it was the truth. “i…think so? i was having a weird dream, maybe i didn’t sleep so good last night.”

“Why don’t you head home?” Blue said, with unexpected gentleness. “Do you want me to go with you?” He started to help Rus up and paused, a fleeting expression of disgust crossing his face. "Papy," Blue said exasperatedly, “did you put on the same sweatshirt as before?"

"no," Rus said, frowning. Yeah, most’ve his sweatshirts looked about the same, but he was sure he hadn’t. "got this one fresh from the closet."

"Maybe they weren't quite dry when I hung them up?" Blue waved a hand in front of his face. "I've never smelled such awful mildew, you can't smell that?"

Rus pulled up the front of his sweatshirt and gave it a good whiff. Soap, maybe a hint of sweetness from his sweat. Not mildew, though, or whatever Blue thought it was. “smells fine to me.”

“Well, that’s proof right there that you’re ill, brother,” Blue said dryly. “Go home and take a proper nap.”

“thanks, bro,” Rus said gratefully. Yeah, he was about ready for whatever coddling Blue felt like handing over. Before he headed out, he looped an arm around Blue and hauled him in for a hug, ignoring his groaning protests because hello, big brother privilege was higher than any stank out there.

He didn’t linger long, not with official permission to nap granted. Rus shortcutted home, to his porch rather than into his bedroom so he could kick off his shoes at the door.

The urge to strip off his sweatshirt and roll around in the snow was almost irresistible, but probably would get him a few looks from the folks in town. He settled for yanking it over his head in the living room and carrying it, the sleeves trailing behind him on the ground as he trudged upstairs to flop on his mattress, barely taking the time to toe off his socks.

A nap would help whatever damn fever was cropping up. He hoped.

~~*~~

When he woke again, Rus felt a little better. The sheets were still damp with sweat but the urge to roll around in the snow like a weird puppy had let up. Through the window, the artificial light was showing dimmer and soft, close to ‘dusk’.

A pleasant smell got Rus sniffing and on his desk was a food tray and a note from his brother.

Didn’t want to wake you, training with Alphys. Eat up and get more sleep, early duty in the morning!

It made Rus smile. Like he was fooled at all by that, if Blue thought he was even a tiny bit sick, he’d be tucked right beneath the blankets again faster than you could say ‘spaghetti aficionado’.

But Rus didn’t think it was gonna be a problem. Already he was hungry, ravenous even, and he scarfed down steaming soup hidden beneath the tray eagerly, practically tasting the loving care with which it was made.

When his magic was finished incorporating it, a different urge struck him and damn if Rus wasn’t ready for a drink at Muffet’s. Maybe something more, the fake night was young, and it’d been a long time since Rus had gotten laid. If you didn’t count weird outliers and Rus stuffed that thought firmly back. Willingly laid, thanks, and after he left a note for his bro, he headed out.

At this time of night, Muffet’s was loaded with regulars, most of them already a couple of drinks in. They called to him, waving and cheering, and Rus handed ‘em back a few of the stock puns he kept handy for just such an occasion, until everyone was laughing. Muffet gave him a smile as Rus walked up to his normal barstool, but it faded into concern as she got a good look at him. She set down the glass she was drying and walked over.

“Are you feeling all right?” she asked in that soft, flute-like voice of hers. “You look a little pale.”

“think so? sweetheart, all my mixed feelings need is a mixed drink, ” Rus gave her a winsome smile, “think you can scrounge me up something on my tab?”

All of her eyes rolled as one, but she was smiling as she poured him out a drink. Honey whisky and water, perfect, and Rus took a sip, spinning on his stool to take in the night’s offerings.

There. A group of some of the other sentries were sitting at a table. One of them towered over the others, even sitting. Pete, from the Bun clan, his long, velvety ears starting to droop from their normal ramrod straight point as he drank. Rus nursed his drink, savoring the sweet-smokiness as he watched Pete moving, the muscles rippling beneath his fur as he gestured. Yeah, Pete was usually up for a good time and he was strong enough to be a hellava fuck. He’d been one of Rus’s regulars back in the day, before he’d met the other skellies and his pussy train got derailed.

Welp, the way he felt right now, he was ready to choo choo his way back onto the track.

Rus tossed back the rest of his drink and slid back to his feet, wandering over to the group. There was nothing seductive about it, didn’t need to be. Rus had a reputation for being a pretty damn good time and he could feel several sets of eyes on him, weighing their chances. But there was only one he was interested in.

“Hey, Papyrus,” Pete said, and Rus didn’t miss the restrained hopefulness in it. Oh, yeah, this was cake and pie.

“hey, pete, wanna take a walk?”

His chair scraped as Pete shoved it back, practically stumbling to his feet, a rare Monster who actually towered over Rus’s impressive height. The grin that spread over his face was lascivious, eager. For about a minute. Then it faltered into a frown as he sniffed, loudly and obviously. “You smell kinda funny.”

Rus groaned. Fuck, was he cursed by some vengeful reverse-washu? “you’re the second person to say that to me today.” He made a show of sniffing his non-existent armpits. “i don’t smell anything. i took a shower, my clothes are clean, guess my normal sauce took a turn.”

“It ain’t exactly bad.” Pete leaned in closer, smirking, and he hooked a thick finger at the hem of Rus’s sweatshirt, lifting it just enough to graze over his hip bone. Oh, fuck yes. Big hands, big dick, and maybe it was a myth, but Rus’d put it to the test and found the theory proved in Pete. He was leaning in close, his beer-scented breath gusting over Rus’s face. They were about to put on a show if he got much closer and Rus was already tipping his head up, ready for a little PDA before getting down to business. Pete murmuring, “We could head back to my place if you want. Or out back, if you don’t, I—”

Rus could only blink in surprise when instead of getting a hard kiss, a strange expression crossed Pete’s face and he leaned away. “You know what, I’m gonna have to beg off tonight, Papyrus. Maybe another time.”

“sure,” Rus said, slowly, confused. Even weirder, instead of sitting back down, Pete tossed back the rest of his drink and actually left, what the fuck?

Okay, that wasn’t fucking weird or anything.

The rest of the table looked as confused as him, but their expressions changed to hopeful delight as Rus said, “guess this seat is empty, mind if i join you?”

None of them did and Rus was two free drinks in by the time another Monster left, wearing the same expression of confused dismay as Pete, then another. All too quickly, Rus was sitting at an empty table surrounded by half-filled glasses, wondering what the actual fuck was going on.

Turned out, it wasn’t just the sentries. Rus gave it another shot, another, and every person he approached was one he’d fucked at least one other time, even if it was nothing more than a blowjob in the alley behind Muffet’s, Rus on his knees, pantlegs drenched in the snow while he let his mind drift, all his thoughts blissfully silent while whoever it was fucked his mouth for all they were worth.

And every one of them turned him down, turned away with that same expression. His increasing desperation probably wasn’t much of a turn-on, either, the heat of the bar was starting to get to him. His sweatshirt was living up to its name by drenching in it, the fabric darkened with the wet magic dripping from his bones. He finally took it off, tossing it carelessly to the ground. He’d get it later, drag it home and toss it in the wash with the rest of his damn stanky clothes, but for now the empty bar was so hot and muggy, it was unbearable.

Rus sank unsteadily back down on his barstool, nearly toppling off to the floor. He caught his balance at the last minute, clinging to the bartop and wondering vaguely if he’d drank more than he thought as he slurred out, “hey, muff. how about i hang out a little while after closing?”

Muffet’s pretty face, normally so pleased to see him, was creased with frowning concern, “Papyrus, you should go home.”

That was the last straw, his soul pulsed, frantic and hurt and he was not used to being turned down. He and Muffet had an understanding, neither of them looking for anything serious. They traded gossip and sex and illicit goods, and it was a great deal, one of the best Rus ever made, so why--?

“wha…?” Rus shook his head, baffled. “seriously? haven’t i always shown you a good time?”

“Always.” She seemed a little confused herself, that same baffled dismay he’d been seeing all night. “I’m sorry, Papyrus, I’m just not in the mood. Maybe another time?”

He nodded and his head felt swollen and too heavy for the slender bones of his cervical vertebrae. Rus slid off the stool and stumbled out the door. The icy wind chilled him instantly, blowing through the feeble protection of his tank top and he stood for a long moment, basking in that blissful cold before starting to trudge his way home.

The entire fucking town of Snowdin wasn’t ‘in the mood’ and to add insult to injury, he saw two of the sentries who’d ditched him necking in the alleyway. He wasn’t so much of a pervert that he stayed to watch, but it sent a wild pulse through him right at crotch level. Rus kept walking, resisting the temptation to collapse into the snow, so fucking hot—hot.

Heat.

Rus stopped, standing so still that snow began to pile up on his bones. He was every kind of idiot he’d ever been called, idiot, moron, such a fucking fool.

“no,” Rus whimpered to no one at all, maybe to himself. No, no, no, Edge told him his body was his own, he’d told him he didn’t care if he fucked around. Of course he fucking had, he never mentioned that no one else would want him! The growing ache in his pelvis twined itself around the ungodly heat throbbing in his soul, mingled with the bewildered hurt of being turned down again and again. People fucking liked him, okay, liked fucking him, but this wasn’t about them, it was about the shitty heat.

Heat, he was so hot and he needed…he needed…he couldn’t fucking think. He needed to head home, that was it, home. Home? No, home wasn’t it. There was someplace else he needed to go. He started walking again, letting his feet carry him because they seemed to know the right direction. Through a door, downstairs, and he managed to focus blearily on the keypad long enough to punch in a number.

By the time he stepped through the portal, it was like he was walking in a fog of need, but he had just enough presence of mind to take a shortcut. The soothing cold vanished as he stepped out into a darkened room, there was nothing but the burning in his soul. Here, yes, this was where he needed to be.

“What are you doing here?” He almost didn’t understand the words. Not angry, only startled, and Rus jerked up his skull to look into crimson eyelights, set in a face that he knew and the flame in his soul became an inferno.

That was what he needed.

He reached out, a sob strangling in his throat. Tripped over his own stupid feet, but strong arms caught him before he could hit the floor. Rus tried to talk, to beg, plead for something, but the words strangled off before they could leave his mouth.

Distantly, he heard a low murmur next to his skull, blissfully soothing, “Shhh, I have you. I have you. It’s all right, I’m here.”

His soul yearned towards that voice and so did Rus, turning towards it to bury his face against a bony sternum and the sudden urge to sink his teeth into it, to bite, to mark, was impossible to resist. He heard a groan as he sank his teeth in, hard, tasting the hot, salty blurt of marrow as the bone parted. Breath hissing above his head, but there was no struggle, no protests. Hands held him in close, petting his skull, his back, anywhere they could reach.

This, this was what he needed, and when he lifted his head, still tasting hot marrow and blindly searching, a mouth descended on his, and Rus was lost.

~~*~~

TBC

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underfell papyrus #underswap papyrus #biting off more than you can chew #please read the warnings

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kikiofthevast · 5 years

Text

Plans and Amnesia

CW: Sympathetic Deceit, intentional isolation, replacement, identity loss, memory loss, cussing, fainting

Pairings: Loceit, mentioned LAMP

Summary: Logan is sick of his job and the other sides, and he has a solution. So he does what he does best. He makes a plan.

---

Logan watched as the glittery liquid swirled around in the glass he held. He'd probably have to wash it down with water. It would likely taste replusive. But he had to take it.

---

"Darling," Deceit hissed pleadingly. "You are certain this is what you want?"

"Absolutely certain." Logan stared at his boyfriend, determination in his eyes.

Deceit sighed, snapping his fingers. Logan's vision blurred for a moment as a doppelganger of himself appeared in his place, save for the proper tie. Logan solved this issue by pulling out a second copy of the tie he himself was wearing and putting it around Deceit's neck and tying it just tight enough. Logan then kissed his boyfriend's cheek.

"You narcissist," Deceit purred in Logan's lower tones.

Logan smiled coyly. "What can I say? I know attractive when I see it."

Deceit rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't know attractive if it slapped a hand over your mouth."

A week ago, Logan would have winced at the reminder, but now he replied, "I have you, don't I?"

Deceit pushed him away, "True, but that doesn't change how strange it is for you to indulge in such emotional behaviors." Deceit couldn't fight his smirk as he adjusted his glasses in an exact copy of Logan's mannerisms and speech patterns.

---

Logan felt his lips twist up in a smile. Dee would remember him. Dee would miss him. And if he actually became Logic when Logan downed this potion, well, Logan wasn't opposed to the notion.

He wrote a life for himself, as the book had instructed, and tore up the pages, throwing them into the substance. It was a lovely life. Logan was jealous of his future self.

He'd written a version of him unhindered by high expectations and surrounded by a beautiful world. He'd even manipulated the Imagination slightly in order to make other people remember him. He'd also created the house he was sitting in.

Well, he thought to himself, bottoms up.

He chugged the glass.

---

Virgil was the first to notice something up. He was much more observant than the other two, and he had realized that "Logan's" mannerisms were much different than usual.

He seemed...on edge, he supposed was the best way to say it.

Virgil often caught Logan pacing with his tie undone, lying carelessly on the bed and his hair ungelled.

Eventually, Virgil decided to test something.

"Alright," Virgil growled, hoping that Logan wouldn't hate him for this, "the jig is up. Deceit?"

Logan turned to face him, and he took the glasses off his face, gesturing silently for Virgil to come in.

Slowly, in some strange reluctance, Deceit returned to his original form. He faced Virgil with a pleading gaze that Virgil had never seen from the deceitful side.

"Why?" Virgil asked.

"Logan...he didn't ask me to." Deceit seemed to be on the verge of tears. "He doesn't have a plan. He doesn't know what he's doing." He sounded more like he was trying to convince himself more than anything.

"What happened?" Virgil felt anger and regret clawing in his stomach. "What did he do?"

"He-"

Deceit was cut off as the mindscape shook violently. Everything flew across Logan's room, chaotic, almost as if it was being thrown by some invisible force, each item disappearing as it hit the floor or wall. The books replaced themselves on the shelves and the walls blossomed yellow and black. Soon the entire room looked an...awful lot like it belonged to Deceit.

Deceit had changed too. His cape had shrunken down and his face was free of scales. His hat was slightly different, less of a bowler hat and more of a fedora. He stared at Virgil, eyes blown wide.

"What-what was that?" Virgil managed.

Deceit winced. "I...suppose Logan's plan worked?"

Virgil blinked, immediately narrowing his eyes. "You aren't lying."

"I'm not?" Deceit looked confused, before a hysterical smile made its way onto his face. "I'm not...haha..." He fell to his knees, staring at his bare hands.

Virgil realize something. Wait a minute. He checked the door, almost certain something changed.

To his shock, the door still read "Logic", only instead of the blue and black stripes on Logan's door, this door was gold and black with decorative swirls.

"What the fuck?" he cried, a little too high-pitched for his liking.

It appeared that Deceit had become Logic.

---

Something had happened to Logan. Roman, Patton, and Virgil all agreed on that. The new Logic, previously Deceit, had offered answers, but Roman had bitterly expressed their distrust of him and he hadn't said anything since.

"We need to get him back!" Patton cried.

"But how?" Virgil groaned. "He could be dead!"

"Ugh, why is this so needlessly difficult! This would be easier if..." Roman faltered.

"If Logan were here," Patton finished.

There was silence for a few moments.

"Agh!" Virgil slammed his head on the table with a loud thunk. "This is so stupid!"

Needless to say, they didn't get anything done for a couple hours.

---

"That's it!" Roman finally cried. Patton's head shot up from where he'd fallen asleep, and Virgil looked up, forehead covered in bruises and splinters. "He's in the Imagination!"

"Oh yeah! We never thought to look there!" Patton agreed.

Virgil only smiled, glad he had a reason to stop hitting his head on the table. The pain rushed to meet him, and he groaned. Patton gasped, and he made a makeshift bandage faster than humanly possible, pushing it onto Virgil's forehead.

Then, they set off for the Imagination.

---

"I've never seen that house before," Roman commented as they walked through town. "Shall we investigate?"

Roman walked up the steps. Whoever lived here definitely kept the yard tidy. It was cut evenly and a few flowers were blooming in garden boxes next to the plain windows.

He knocked on the white door, greeted by the sight of Logan. He almost stopped breathing.

Logan was wearing clothing more appropriate for the medieval town around them, and he had a pair of brown framed glasses that appeared like woven branches. His hair was gelled slightly differently, and he was holding a navy leather-bound book in his hand.

Logan immediately dropped to one knee. "Your Highness! I had no idea you'd be visiting me today. I apologise if my living space is not up to your standards." He stood up, keeping his head bowed as he moved aside to let a very bewildered Roman into the house, followed hesitantly by Patton and Virgil, the latter of whom stared slightly accusingly at Logan, who seemed uncharacteristically anxious, flinching back at the glare.

"Oh...oh my, this is quite a lovely house."

Logan cocked his head. "Why are you acting as if you've never seen it? You helped me construct it. Do you not remember?" Concern seeped into his voice as Roman raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yes, of course..." Roman said absently.

"Would you like me to make something for you and your companions, Your Highness?" Logan's voice rang clear again.

"That would be...that would be lovely." Roman was still minorly in shock, his brain not entirely comprehending what was happening. Patton and Virgil seemed to be equally frozen.

Roman thought through it. Logan was treating him like most villagers treated him, like the prince of the land. He decided to test something.

"Are you familiar with my two advisors?" Roman asked, his regal tone on full display.

"No, I'm afraid I haven't had the pleasure." Logan's face colored and his face twisted in a frown, as if he was embarrassed for not knowing something like that.

Roman shifted uncomfortably. This was not good. There was one more thing he had to check.

'Tell me the name of your book.'

The command was simple, nothing that would abuse his power. As some part of Roman suspected, Logan's eyes glazed over for a moment, before returning to normal. The others seemed to realize what Roman had.

"My book is titled Paradise Lost. Is it interesting to you at all?" Logan acted as though

Holy shit.

This was not good.

Logan was part of the Imagination.

And he probably didn't even remember that he was a side.

Roman felt himself stumble and he heard Virgil let out a cry of alarm as he fell to the ground.

#logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #sanders sides #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit

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shedeservesthebest · 6 years

Text

A little fall of R(ain)

Read on ao3 here

Enjolras looked around at his friends as they heard the sound of the national guard approaching the barricade. The time had finally come to fight for the people of France, it was finally time to show the king what was right.

Combeferre and Courfeyrac were standing close together, loading their guns, talking quickly and quietly. Joly and Bousette were resting their foreheads together, their smiles vibrant and nervous at the same time. Feuilly and Bahorel was punching each other’s arms as they put the loaded guns on a table, safely behind the barricade for easy access. Marius was sitting hunched on the barricade, peaking out through a hole in the wood. Enjolras frowned as he counted over his friends again. He couldn’t remember seeing Jehan or Grantaire, although the last one didn’t surprise him.

He turned around again, seeing a flash of Jehan’s red braid close by the door of the Musain.

“Jehan, are you prepared?” he asked, his voice raised enough so that the Romantic would hear him.

“Indeed, I am, dear Enjolras. Let them come” the poet grinned as he turned around, revealing Grantaire sitting on a stool behind him, his head lent backwards, resting against the wall of the cafe.

“And you, Grantaire?” Enjolras asked.

“I am ready to perish, Apollo” the drunk grinned. Enjolras did not give him a reply, merely rolling his eyes before turning back to the sound of approaching soldiers.

“They’re here” Marius spoke, moving carefully down the barricade.

“Company, halt!” a voice was heard. “Ready your guns!”

Enjolras repeated the command. The students picked up their weapons, finding gaps in the barricade where they could safely shoot without getting shot.

“Forward!”

“Ready yourselves!” Enjolras yelled out. The first shot ran out, a soldier fired, missing any of the students, but making splinters fly off a barrel sitting close to where Bahorel was hiding.

“Fire at will!” came Enjolras’ next call, and Feuilly’s gun ran out, seemingly prompting all others to start.

The shooting, the shouting, the running, the screams, all blended together. Enjolras found himself on top of the barricade, shooting down on the soldiers trying to climb over. He had also spotted Grantaire in the corner of his eye, fighting and reloading guns before handing them off to their friends, and he found himself grinning at the man’s seemingly new dedication.

He fired his gun, hitting a soldier in the shoulder, then turning around to reach for a freshly loaded one. Enjolras could faintly hear someone approaching, and he hurried to turn. A loud shot went off close to him, to close for comfort, but he did not feel any aches, so he shrugged it off and turned back to the fighting, only to be interrupted by Marius.

“Pull back or I blow the barricade” the younger man shouted, right in the face in one of the soldiers. He was holding up a barrel of gunpowder and a torch.

“And yourselves with it” the man sneered, a smirk playing at his lips as he worked to expose Marius’ bluff.

“And myself with it” Marius’ voice was flat, no sign of his determination wavering. Marius and the soldier stared at each other long and hard, a battle of wills on top of the battle for Paris. Marius moved the torched closer to the barrel, and everything froze. No one dared move as the soldier lent backwards.

“Pull back! Everyone off the barricade” the soldier called out. The national guard pulled away into a side street, leaving the students to regroup and reload.

“Great job, Marius” Enjolras grinned as he climbed back down.

“That was reckless, Marius, my life is not yours to gamble with!” Combeferre yelled out, shocking Courfeyrac with his surprising outburst, and Enjolras turned around to calm him down. He could not stop his smile when he caught Courfeyrac’s hand on his guide’s shoulder, his calming whispers so low that Enjolras couldn’t hear it.

A weak cough sounded from behind him, and he turned. Enjolras looked down to the bottom of the barricade, only to be met with Grantaire sitting lent backwards, yet again. Annoyance hit him, the cynic was probably still drunk, or his head was still pounding from the last time. Enjolras was about to reprimand him, when something stopped him.

Grantaire’s brows were furrowed, and his breath came out if short but violent pants. The leader hurried over to him, sitting carefully down beside the man.

“Grantaire, what did you do?” Enjolras was careful to keep his voice even and calm. He looked over Grantaire’s form again, and for the first time his eyes landed on the hand Grantaire kept at his side. With a shaking hand Enjolras touched the area around the cynic’s hand, pulling back as his fingers were met with hot liquid, they were covered in blood.

“Oh no, no, no, no, no, Grantaire, what did you do?” desperation crept its way into Enjolras’ voice as he lifted Grantaire’s hand from his side.

“Couldn’t le him shoot you, now, could I. The others need you” Grantaire whispered, his breath hitching as he spoke.

“Combeferre, Joly, help him!” Enjolras yelled over his shoulder before giving the wounded man beside him his full attention. “You took the shot?”

“I did. And I would take it, again, and again, and again, and again…” Grantaire coughed out.

“You shouldn’t have done that, R” Enjolras cupped Grantaire’s cheek, bending down so that the cynic wouldn’t have to strain to be heard.

“Huh, that’s the first time you’ve called me that” Grantaire’s smile was small.

“Called you what?” Enjolras asked, looking frantically over his shoulder after help as Grantaire’s voice slurred. Combeferre and Joly weren’t moving, and Enjolras knew. He did not know how long it had been, and there was too much blood for it to not mean anything else than that it was too late.

“…R… ugh” Grantaire grunted in pain as he tried to sit up, but Enjolras’ hand on his shoulder stopped him.

“Lie still, you’ll make it worse” Enjolras couldn’t reply properly. He didn’t know whether he had ever called Grantaire by his nickname before or not, but he apparently hadn’t. He didn’t know what it meant.

“It’s just… so cold” Grantaire muttered. It was June. It wasn’t cold. Enjolras lifted the wounded man into his lap, leaning upper body against his folded legs.

“You shouldn’t… you shouldn’t have taken the shot. You don’t even believe in this” Enjolras whispered as he helped Grantaire settle. Jehan brought over a blanket that he wrapped around the cynic, tears filling his eyes as he took in the blood covering his friend’s side.

“I might not believe in the cause, Apollo, but I crave the world you describe. I doubt the cause because of faults in humanity, but if there’s anyone that can change it, it’s you” Grantaire’s voice was slurred, his eyes wide and vulnerable. “I don’t believe in the cause, but I believe in you.”

Enjolras couldn’t reply, and he couldn’t stop the sob that escaped his throat as he took in the fading glint in his friend’s eyes.

“What can I do. What do you need, ‘Taire? Tell me how to help you” Enjolras brushed Grantaire’s wild curls from his face, bending down nearly low enough for their foreheads to touch.

“Just hold me, tell me about your vision. Stay with me until I fall asleep” Grantaire’s voice was fading, and his eyes had grown heavy. Enjolras nodded, and complied.

He talked about the freedom of the people, the equality of the classes, of the sexes, of the free education, of the democratic government they would build. The freeing of the oppressed. Of the freedom, equality, and brotherhood that would come with the new world. He spoke of these things in a voice so soft and kind that their friends around him wondered if this was the same man.

When he finished, Grantaire’s breathing was so faint that he could hardly feel it. The only thing letting Enjolras know that he was still alive was the wet coughs that escaped each time he breathed out.

“You know Enjolras, I believe I was a little bit in love with you” Grantaire’s silent whisper shocked Enjolras, who could faintly hear the shocked breaths of their friends around them.

“I… I don’t know what to say”

“You don’t have to reply. It’s fine. Just… can you promise me one thing?” Enjolras was nearly unable to hear the words.

“Anything” he refused to not give the man his final wish.

“When I’m gone, will you kiss my forehead. As a last goodbye?”

“Of course, I promise” Grantaire nodded at the reply. Then the light faded from his eyes, and he was gone.

Enjolras let out a loud sob as he used his free hand to close Grantaire’s eyes. He placed a soft kiss on the cynic’s forehead, and he did not fight back as Bahorel lifted Grantaire from his grasp. He let Combeferre pull him to his feet, and he buried his face in Courfeyrac’s curls as his friend pulled him close.

He could see Joly and Bousset hugging, the two of them crying, and he felt a small tint of guilt for not letting the two of them say goodbye to their best friend. He could see Jehan, leaning over the table where Bahorel had laid Grantaire. He was probably the last person who had the right to be with the dying man in his passing moment. Any of the others were closer to him, anyone of them should’ve been able to say goodbye. But Enjolras couldn’t get himself to feel bad about it. He could only feel pain of what had been lost, and what he hadn’t even thought to gain, until it was taken from him. He also felt a steely determination. He would get the future he had just spoken about, or die trying.

“We have to win this, for Grantaire.”

#enjolras/grantaire #angst #hurt/comfort #gunshot wounds #Grantaire is Eponine #Enjolras is Marius #A little fall of rain #major character death #tw death #tw violence #tw gunshot #sad #Les misérables #Les mis #enjoltaire #enjoltaire angst #mine #my works #my writing

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setoangel01-fanfiction · 7 years

Text

Devastation

Crazy - Chapter 23 (Previous Chapters)

Fandom: TMNT 2014-16

Pairing: Raphael x April

Rated: T

Chapter Summary: While awaiting for April to come back home, Raphael learns things he's not at all prepared to hear…

Fanfiction.net

A03

…there had to be an explanation - there just HAD to be...

Every logical part of him tried to come up with something reasonable to explain this behavior after everything they'd been through. Heart hammering and throat parched, Raphael continued to pace around her small apartment. Habitually glancing out the many windows and keeping his scattered focus on her front door, looking down at his cell phone and searching for any clue as to tip him off as to when the beautiful brunette would make her return.

The trepidation of fear and anxiety began boiling deep in his gut without any hopes of alleviating.

Raphael was sorely tempted to text, to call if only to make sure she was okay was becoming an all-encompassing need. Yet another side of him said that he was being ridiculous; perhaps it was just a long game and they had lost track of time at a 24-hour restaurant or pub but as the minutes and hours slowly ticked by without a sign of her intending to return to her apartment, Raphael gradually lost his mind to panic.

Desperation and fear coiling in his gut; terrified for her safety.

Yes, he was damn well aware Casey wasn't just some pretty boy and could in fact defend himself. Raphael didn't need to be reminded of his heroic actions regarding Bebop and Rocksteady that day but there was a doubt, a piece of truth Raphael needed to confront -

Casey was only human.

A decent-enough fighter yet one that couldn't even hope to stand up to more than three or four foot soldiers at the most. He trusted him to be able to protect April more than Ol' Captain Vern but that wasn't saying fucking much…

The criminal activities and the Foot Clan and Karai's prison escape was not far from his mind and it was driving him insane. Karai being their temporary leader left the Foot an actual looming threat and with April out there in the city with no one more than Casey to protect her had his stomach churning with undesirable outcomes for either. The Foot was made up with experienced ninjas under Karai's control - anything could happen at any damn time and April had no real protection other than a pretty boy with a hockey stick….

Raphael was really beginning to panic.

Mind awash with scenarios he did not want to confront; possibilities that they both were indeed in trouble (Casey he didn't care so much - but April…). Picturing the beautiful brunette captured, hurt, crying for help without no one to heed her panicked calls…them hurting her, brutalizing her for information…even killing her to shut her up…

It was now 7am and there was still no sign or call from April, it finally became too damn much for him.

Grabbing his cell phone in massive shaky hands, he dialed her number before putting the small device to his ear. Desperately awaiting her lovely voice on the other line; resolute to hear her distinct tone echoing in ear. For her to answer and successfully push aside his own fearful connotations and his doubts to rest; that she was indeed fine and dandy and he was being far too apprehensive and worried for absolutely no reason (it wouldn't be the first time). Raphael would gladly take a bit of embarrassment for the chance to just hear her on the other line right now…

"Hey!" her voice started after a few rings - sounding like a beautiful chiming bell.

"APRIL!" Raphael bellowed beside himself; heat plummeting to his bowels when her voice suddenly continued uninterrupted.

"-You've reached April O'Neil. I'm unavailable right now but if leave your name and number after the tone, I'll be sure to call you back as soon as I can! Have a nice day!" her message finished and he could see her signature smile she always ended her broadcast with in his mind...Stomach dropping to his bowels like an anchor to the bottom of a lake when reality hit him…

Raphael swallowed thickly.

Heart hammering and nostrils flaring, he pulled the phone away from his face and hung it up with a shaking thumb. Excuses immediately filling his brain so he wouldn't be forced to think of other scenarios he really did not want to fathom let alone entertain. Maybe she was in the bathroom, left it on silent, or perhaps her phone just died…

…That was possible, wasn't it?

Raphael suddenly ran to her kitchen where she always left her phone cord plugged in and, like he suspected, it was there. That made sense. April just forgot her charger so her phone probably just died and she got caught up; maybe even got called into work hours ago. She was just too occupied to get the chance to call him and tell him she wouldn't be there until later on that day…

Yeah, that was probably it…

Within half an hour and still no sign or call from April to be had, Raphael was forced to accept the other possibilities. Flicking on the news, desperately hoping to perhaps see her beautiful face and happily delivering the morning news - all safe and sound. But she wasn't, but there was also no news of an attack or anything of the sort but it still wasn't enough to ease the hallow sensation filling his stomach…

A dreadful feeling he hadn't experienced since he was watching her fall from Sack's tower…

Lowering his eyes from the television, he called her again and like the past ten or so times, it went to voice-mail but more alarming was the fact it went from three rings - to two - than one before just going to voice-mail automatically….Desperation leaking into his gut, Raphael was sorely enticed to head outside and start tearing apart the city looking for her but it now being daylight, there was amount of ninjitsu, no training, and no force on Heaven or earth that would cause him from NOT being seen.

Yet as the seconds and minutes quietly ticked by without knowing where she was or what the hell could have happened, Raphael was beginning not to care.

Screw Splinter and Leonardo's constant berating of never being seen in daylight - April needed him. Raphael stood up, sorely tempted to just fling the window open and search every corner of the city for her. To ignore the screams of the citizens regarding his massive, horrid form; he wouldn't care as long as he found April. Yet when he approached the window and was so ready to just throw it open and leave…her voice in his head stopped him. Telling him to stick around - to wait for her to return. That kept him stuck there - wanting to keep his promise to stay…so he did.

"April…" he breathed; heart hammering painfully and sweat tickling at his underarms, neck, and forehead as he lost himself to his fears. Raphael was nearly hyperventilating as he plopped himself down on her couch; the leather and wood creaking painfully underneath his massive weight.

"Dammit! Where the fuck are ya?" he growled, rubbing his hand over his forehead to swipe at the beads of sweat that accumulated.

As the minutes slowly ticked by, an idea sprung to his mind and before he could even think of any connotations or questions that would await him later, he dialed his phone again.

"DONNIE!" Raphael screamed as soon as the genius turtle answered with a slurred 'what?'

"Ugh…what is it, Raph? It's too fuckin' early for you to call me…" Donnie replied grouchily and Raphael could practically see the purple-banded turtle rubbing at his eyes from the other end of the line. "Where the hell are you anyway? Patrol go on too long or what?"

"...April never came home." Raphael breathed out, not even caring how absolutely petrified he probably sounded to his genius brother.

"...what the hell are you talkin' about, Raph?" Donnie grumbled and it was blatantly obvious he was still half asleep and in no mood to deal with any of this shit.

"Did ya fuckin' hear me, Don?! I said - April never came home last night!"

"...you mean she wasn't there when you went to fix her dishwasher?"

"No, Don! She left with Casey last night."

"...on a date?" was the puzzled or rather pitied reply.

"NO!" Raphael shouted; genuinely surprised at himself for being so damn angry in response. He swallowed before he continued in a much more calm manner, "No, i-it was jus' a hockey game or somethin'."

"...Okay…So if she didn't come home, so what? Also, what are you still doing there? Are you still fixing it? It shouldn't have taken you that long." Donnie replied sounding slightly more awake but just as salty as always.

"Don't ya give me that! Of course I fuckin' fixed it! B-Besides, that doesn't fuckin' matter, Don! She never came home!" Raph shouted; cheeks heating from anger and frustration and why the hell wasn't Donnie just as worried as him!?

"Raph, she probably just went to a bar with Casey or something. I wouldn't worry about it." Donnie waved him off and Raphael had it.

"April promised, Don!" Raphael bellowed, found himself loudly stomping his foot against her thin carpet without thinking and if the downstairs neighbors hated him already, they really hated him now.

"...Promised what, Raph?" Donnie responded in a sardonic tone - one Raphael was really getting sick of hearing.

"April promised me that she would come home last night - she told me to wait for her here…"

Donnie grew silent for a long time as if quietly mulling over this new information and when the genius didn't make any more complains or sarcastic barbs as if Raph was indeed being irrational, Raph knew the direness of this situation suddenly fell over Donnie as well.

"...she did?" Donatello asked, a breathy concern to his voice was easily detected to Raph's sharp ears.

"Yes." Raph grunted out. If anything, his panic only increased at hearing how utterly concerned Donnie sounded with just those two words.

"That doesn't sound right that she didn't come home then."

"What 'ave I been saying dis whole fuckin'; time, Einstein!?" Raph growled, anger sating his need to panic, the need to rip this city to pieces until he found the beautiful brunette - hopefully safe and sound.

"Calm down, Raph! M-Maybe she just forgot."

"April never forgets and she'd never break a promise!" Raphael reasoned and it indeed was true - April wouldn't be lax about a promise; no one was more loyal or punctual than April.

"..." Donatello was silent. An unspoken worry that echoed between the silence. Very real fear plaguing the tension-filled air surrounding them. "Do you think…?" Donnie finally muttered out; both of their minds going to the prison break and news of Foot Clan activity running rampant throughout the town.

Raphael didn't speak, his heart plummeting in fear of something Leonardo had perpetually warned him about. The steadfast nights he'd been over at April's; watching her house and keeping a constant vigilance. How was he certain no one was watching him?

…if something happened to April because of his recklessness…

"DONNIE! You need to track her phone!" Raphael suddenly bellowed and Donnie yelped at the sudden sound.

"Okay! Okay!" Donatello screamed back and Raphael listened carefully as Donnie's footsteps rang about and the obvious squeaking of the rolling computer chair he sat on.

For long, terse minutes, all Raphael could hear was Donnie's labored breathing, the clack of computer keys and his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. So many scenarios playing in his head; multiple horrifying images of the Foot Clan capturing his beloved April, holding her against her will, torturing her for information about them and knowing April…she'd die before she gave them up.

A lump clogged his throat, a burning sensation in the back of his eyes alarming his heart to a near standstill. Raphael wanted to cry, scream, tear the entire fucking city apart and find those who may have stolen her and rip them limb from limb, rip their insides out through their throat while they're still alive.

If those bastards laid one finger on her…

"Raph?" Donnie's calm voice filled his ears suddenly and he was gratefully flung from those thoughts. Fists loosening from his white-knuckled grasp as he heard the voice of his younger brother.

"What is it, Don?! Where the fuck is she!?" Raphael didn't beat around the bush; bellowing at this point. Utter and complete terror filling his chest and hanging on every one of Donnie's words he had yet to speak. "Just tell me where she is and I'll go get her!" he further demanded.

"Raph." Donnie muttered and he stilled at how utterly calm Donnie seemed, "April's fine." the genius completed.

The utter relief that filled Raphael's chest was sadly short lived when another thought plagued him.

"...what? B-But wait - then where is she!? She should have come home!" Raphael shouted, very well aware of how utterly pathetic and hysterical he sounded.

"Raph - she's fine - that's all you need to know. She's…in familiar territory." Donnie was being annoyingly vague, and damn, it was beyond frustrating.

"...is she at work?" Raph asked hopefully.

"...She's fine." Donnie decided upon his vagueness but Raphael was not going to allow it anymore.

"Don, are you fucking hiding something from me? Where the fuck is April!?"

"..."

"DON!"

"...Raph, i-i-it's nothin!," Don answered with a stutter and that scared him more than anything, "a-and I-I don't necessarily think that information is entirely impervious to this harrowing situation and furthermore - "

"Dammit, Donnie! Stop beating around the fuckin' bush already! Where the fuck is she!? Just TELL me!" Raphael shouted; voice booming into the other end of his cell phone to where Donatello went completely silent at his outburst.

Long moments passed of deafening silence; own heart hammering painfully and if he had expected anything, this certainly wasn't it…

"...she's at Casey's apartment…" Donnie muttered out.

It was as if Raphael's heart suddenly became encased in ice…

"...what?" the words left before he even realized he could form them anymore.

"Hey, I-I bet it's nothing, Raph. Heh. Maybe she just didn't want him to drive back in the snow and decided to crash there." Donnie chuckled but Raphael felt as if he was going to be sick.

April had promised him she'd be back…

She lied…

April never lied to him before…

"Raph? Hey… Raph, maybe this is just a big misundersta-" Donnie's voice was cut off when Raphael suddenly hung up the phone.

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ericjuneau · 7 years

Text

Reprise (Chapter 26) [Frozen/Tangled/The Little Mermaid]

CHAPTER 26: Return from the Sea

A deep whistle. Then, behind Elsa and Rapunzel, an explosion of water. They shrieked and paddled closer to Ariel. Huge waves buffeted them about.

"How could this have happened?" Rapunzel shouted over the cannon fire. "How long have we been gone?"

"Who knows-" Elsa had another coughing fit. She waved away the embers that floated like fireflies.

"We've got to get aboard one of these ships," Rapunzel said.

"No!" Elsa shouted. "We can't. It's too dangerous."

"It's too dangerous down here," Rapunzel said.

"As soon as one ship sees their kingdom's ruler, they'll fire everything they've got. We'll become a target."

"I can go. There's no Corona ships," Rapunzel said.

"You're my cousin," Elsa responded. "You're just as good."

"Let's change back," Ariel said. "We'll swim under and get-"

"Look out!" Elsa pointed behind Ariel.

A streaking black billet spun across the battlefield, knocking into a splintered mast. With an enormous groan, the pole toppled toward them like a falling tree. Rapunzel, Elsa, and Ariel scattered away.

The mast smacked the water like a giant flat hand, spreading swells in all directions. Ariel tumbled into the thick waves and sputtered back up. Her two friends were gone.

She tried to call for them, but the sea and storm couldn't carry her voice. She dove under, searching for falling bodies. If they'd hit their head or been dragged under.... But she didn't find them. Not enough light.

She emerged. A body floated face down next to her. She screamed and paddled away. Two more corpses bobbed behind her, lifeless as wood.

Ariel clung to the fallen mast, battling the salt spray in her hair and eyes. Grapeshot and chains pelted the water like deadly raindrops. Gunpowder exploded in dull bursts. Even arrows were flying across the gaps between ships.

Then she saw them--Elsa and Rapunzel, hanging on to a rope on the side of a boat. The ocean clutched at their half-submerged bodies, as the galleon spun.

Ariel detached from the mast and with her stubby human arms and legs, swam over to them. Another throaty whistle sounded overhead. A white ceramic jar spun end over end and smashed against the hull above Elsa and Rapunzel.

It exploded into a massive fireball a second later. A huge chunk of the ship became engulfed in flame. The shockwave forced Elsa and Rapunzel back into the water. The ship listed to its side as the men aboard shouted about the fire. Others plunged off the side.

Ariel swam toward the capsizing ship. Sailors tossed in the water swam towards each other, sabers in their teeth. They clashed, dueling man-to-man, oblivious of the three women. Nothing would stop them from fighting but death.

Elsa punctured the water next to Ariel, gasping for air.

Ariel grabbed her arm before she somehow escaped. "Elsa, where's Rapunzel?"

"I don't know! I don't know anything!" Her voice quavered, as if about to cry.

Ariel led her away from the clashing swords. A ceramic ball with a lit fuse fell into the water. It floated for a second, then detonated, sending a geyser into the air. Bodies flew. Ariel and Rapunzel ducked down.

"There," Elsa shouted as water flowed into her mouth.

Face down, her yellow hair twisted like a sea snake around her head. Her purple dress spread around her like so much flotsam.

Ariel crawled toward her, plunging again into the middle of battle, and flipped her supine. The color had drained from her face. Her lips were dull raisin.

Elsa grabbed a blasted-off door. Ariel hoisted Rapunzel on, struggling against the surging ocean. "We've got to get out of here."

Elsa spun the plank so Rapunzel's head faced her. "Wake up, wake up!" She tapped Rapunzel's cheeks.

"Hold on!" Ariel gripped the door with one hand and raised her trident with the other. The ocean water bulged upward, taller and taller, as if hauled by reverse gravity. Sailors caught in the pull found themselves rising, as if the ocean were made of taffy and some invisible giant were pulling its gooey center. Elsa held herself against Rapunzel's torso to keep her secure.

The tower crested over even the tallest mast. Ships caught at the base incline tilted away from the surrounding pillar of water. The sloping ocean shrank until she felt as if she were looking straight down.

"Hold on!" Ariel shouted again. She waved the trident.

Whatever magic kept the ocean suspended released. The water dropped away and they dropped with it. Trapped sailors spread in different directions. Each ship too, careened away from the battle as the force of the wave pushed everything out.

Elsa, Ariel, and Rapunzel tobogganed down the crested wave, past the ships, and rocketed toward the coast. Pelting droplets forced Elsa's eyes shut as her knuckles turned white.

They covered the distance in a few moments. The rushing water carried their waterlogged door smoothly, noiselessly, all the way to shore.

On the sand, Elsa pried her hands off and stood up on shaky legs. It had been days since she'd felt gravity, combined with the terror they'd just experienced.

Ariel crawled next to Rapunzel. "Rapunzel, wake up. Come on, please." She took Rapunzel's soaking hair and arranged it on her chest. "Flower gleam and glow, let your power shine."

Elsa heaved Rapunzel upright. "She can't heal herself with her own hair. We'll have to do it the old-fashioned way." She clapped Rapunzel on the back with all her might.

Rapunzel's body trembled. She seized, chortled, and spat up a mass of water. Elsa kept whacking while thick, stringy strands of ocean coughed out.

"Ugh," she said. Ariel and Elsa hugged her, crying happy tears.

Elsa rubbed her back. "Everyone okay?" she asked.

"Does anyone know what that was?" Ariel asked. "Since when did Arendelle start a war?"

"What makes you think we started it?" Elsa asked indignantly.

"I don't," Ariel said. "I have no idea what's going on."

"None of us have had contact with our countries for a while," Rapunzel said. "But I can't believe Arendelle would go to war. It must have something to do with Hans's navy."

"But Arendelle was defending itself. Why are they here?" Elsa asked.

Rapunzel sighed. "I hope Ansel made it. I thought that once he arrived, Hans's ships would stand down. They'd be outnumbered. But then, why is Arendelle taking the offensive? What would have changed to cause that?"

"Here's a scarier thought. Who's leading Arendelle's troops? Anna?" Elsa asked.

Rapunzel's eyes widened. "It can't be."

"I know. She doesn't have the motivation or military knowledge. But it's the ruling queen who holds the command." Elsa held her head in her hands. "I should never have left Arendelle. They're right. I am a bad ruler. They should just lock me up. I'm too dangerous. I should just be beheaded."

"Don't talk like that," Ariel said. "You'll get your kingdom back. We'll make sure of it."

"How did they even get to this point? Arendelle doesn't have a strong navy."

"They would with Corona's help," Rapunzel said.

"And their fighting my kingdom. Does that mean we're enemies?" Ariel asked.

Rapunzel, Ariel, and Elsa all looked between each other. No one spoke. Animosity of prejudice and battle hung over them like a triple-bladed pendulum. Each waited for the other to make a move.

"I am not going to let people who think we need to be enemies say we are," Rapunzel said.

Ariel stood up. "What we need to do is get back to my castle. There, we can figure it out."

Elsa and Rapunzel agreed. Damp and itchy, the three of them walked along the shore until they found a path into town. Even with the help of the tidal wave, they were still a long way from the castle. Sounds of a medieval marketplace began to rise over the surf--voices haggling, creaking carts wheeling, horse hooves clopping.

"I'll find a passing carriage or a royal guard. They'll take us to the palace. They'll have to, right? I'm the princess." Ariel smiled at them.

Elsa stopped. "Hold on. If we're really at war, maybe us marching right up to your castle is a bad idea."

Ariel scoffed. "I can just explain to them-"

"No, she's right," Rapunzel said. "Let's hang back and wait for you to explain. Then come and get us. We can scout around town and investigate this." She held up the bottle.

Elsa scratched at her clothes again. "In the meantime, we need a disguise."

Ariel snapped her fingers. "I got it. There's a laundry pool in the village. Wait right here." She crossed the beach, heading around a curve and out of sight.

Elsa crossed her arms and paced up and down the sand. "And on top of all this is Arcius. Do you think he knows where we are now that we're out of the water?"

"I still don't think he can leave his lair. Otherwise, he wouldn't have sent those letters."

Ariel came back, stickers and leaves in her hair. She held out the trident. A bundle of clothes were wrapped around the tines. "I snuck around the bushes so no one would see me."

Elsa and Rapunzel discarded their salt-grainy clothes and put on the peasant garb. Rapunzel's braid was still cohesive enough that she could tie it behind her back. With the white hoods and dirty faces, they were confident the disguises would work.

The three of them climbed up the stairs.

"I'll go back to the castle and find out what's going on with this war. I'll stop it too," Ariel said with doggedness. "I can't believe this would happen. I would never go to war with you."

"I know you wouldn't. Not intentionally."

Ariel said "The glassmaker is in the east side. He should be friendly enough. Tell him the princess sent you."

Elsa nodded. "Good luck."

She and Rapunzel went east and faded into the market crowd.

Ariel smiled, satisfied, then walked west towards one of the village's patrolmen.

When she got to the palace, the first thing Ariel did was ask for a bath. No need to boil hot water or mix the soap. All she needed was to be clean. The staff welcomed her back, saying they hadn't expected her so soon. Prince Eric had told them she'd gone to visit family, which was many leagues away.

Yes, but leagues down, Ariel thought.

Besides her personal attendants--whose sole job was to drop everything and serve her needs--no one seemed to notice her arrival. The palace seemed unusually quiet. Eric was nowhere. Grimsby hadn't shown up. Even Max, who could smell her from the other end of the palace, hadn't bounded in to say hello.

But she paid little attention to this as she worked to make herself presentable. An hour after her return, she was clean, scrubbed, dressed, and most of all, felt human again. Which meant it was time to find Eric.

"He's in the Lion Hall, poor dear. Been there near every day. Even for meals," Carlotta told her.

"The Lion Hall..." Ariel scratched her head. "You know, I don't think I've ever been up there."

"Why should you, dear? It's the war room."

Ariel followed Carlotta's directions to the top floor, thinking We have a war room?

It was at the outermost corner of the keep, in a chamber that was half-solarium. Bookcases and chests lined the walls. Bright sunlight kept the room well lit.

Eric sat next to Sir Grimsby, buried in charts and documents, at a circular table. A handful of other advisors, most in military uniforms, held consultations with each other in clumps.

Ariel pushed open the double doors.

"Eric, there's a war going on. Did you know that?"

The room fell dead silent. One of the generals with a thick white mustache snickered.

Eric looked up. His bright blue eyes shifted from surprise to confusion. "Ariel? When did you get back? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. Everything's fine."

He stood up, ready to embrace her. "Did you get... everything taken care of?"

"Yes, but..." she trailed off after getting a look at the giant map on the table. Someone had highlighted their home country, Corona, and Arendelle. Various model ships were pointing north on an intercept course to Elsa's kingdom. "What are you doing? Why are you sending troops to Arendelle?"

"I, uh..." Eric said. A courier interrupted him with a scroll and a pen. Eric scanned it, then signed.

"Eric, do you tell this girl anything about your kingdom?" one of the generals asked.

"She's been away for a while. She just got back," Eric said to him.

A military commander pounded his fist on the table. "Arendelle will be a pile of rubble when we're through." The others at the table murmured affirmatively.

"No, it won't," Ariel said, interrupting their self-congratulations. "We're friends with Arendelle."

She was used to receiving confused looks, but because she'd used the wrong word or behaved oddly. The way the group was looking at her, even Grimsby, raised the hairs on her arm.

She turned to Eric. "Aren't we?"

"We've never had contact with the northern kingdoms," Eric said. "But we do have treaties with Weselton, which we have to honor."

"You have what?!" Ariel shouted. "No, they're the enemy. You've got to stop this. Right now. Call it off."

"We can't just call off a war," Eric said. "Maybe we don't have any issues with Arendelle, but we've got alliances with their enemies. And we've got to support those alliances."

"But they're not our enemies. Just stop fighting. Call back the ships," Ariel said.

The general with the white mustache spoke again. "Eric, will you put this foolish girl to bed? We have business still. The platoon commanders needs to know if we're sending out in the fifth fleet. And the contingency plans for foul weather."

"Do not ever call her foolish," Eric said. "She is your future queen."

Ariel anticipated he would say more--that she was right or had a point or to listen to her. Instead he took her by the hand and led her out to the solarium's balcony.

Crisp, cold ocean air hit her face. Eric shut the door behind him.

"Ariel, I'm not going to call back the ships."

"Why not? This isn't even our war. No one attacked us."

"Even so! It's a matter of support. Weselton's one of our biggest trade consorts. They partnered up with the Southern Isles, and they're fighting against Arendelle and Corona. They asked us for help and we couldn't say no."

"You don't understand. I know the Queen of Arendelle. She's not bad."

"I'm sure she's not," Eric replied. "But if we want to keep our allies as allies, we've got to help them when they need it. Otherwise, who would help us when we need it?"

Ariel had no words. Her mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out.

"We're not a big country, Ariel," Eric said. His voice grew harsher. "We don't have a large navy. If Weselton turns its sights on those who refused to help them, we couldn't put up much of a fight."

"But that's so mean. Who would do that? Why would we be partners with people like that?"

"Goddammit, Ariel!" He ran his fingers through his hair and paced along the walk. "Don't lay down orders for things you know nothing about. If you're going to be queen, you've got to realize this is not a game. You've got to grow up. Not everyone's our friend."

Eric never shouted at her. Ariel's eyes watered and dilated with fear.

He continued, "I'm sending people I grew up with a hundred miles from their homeland to possibly die. I've been here three days with as many hours sleep. This is what it's like to run a country. This is why I'm not staying up late playing with puppies. There are hard decisions that have to be made. Decisions that might make people starve or get sick. Decisions that have no right answers, that have consequences I can't even predict."

"Just walk away," Ariel whispered. "Just say you're going to stop it."

"I can't," Eric said. "This is my land. This is what it's like to be a ruler. It's alliances and armies. And bannermen and ships and crew and resources. It's not fun and it's got to be done."

The door to the solarium opened. Sir Grimsby poked his leathery head through and coughed. "Uh, sir, it is time." He held out a knapsack bursting with scrolls.

Eric took the pack and walked inside. Ariel followed him. "Where are you going?" she asked.

"I need to meet with the military commanders to discuss strategy. We meet somewhere private so secrets don't get leaked. You can... I don't know... stay here. Do whatever it is you usually do."

Ariel bit her lip, watching him go. She strutted forward. "Wait. I'm coming with you."

Eric stopped halfway through the door. His eyebrows raised. "You are?" he asked, surprised.

She marched toward him. "Yes. I'm ready. This is my kingdom too. I need to take care of it."

And she marched right past him.

"Oh, Juuu-deee..." the red puppet squawked. It whacked the wife puppet in the stomach, then three times on her head. Children circling the show cheered and clapped.

"I don't get it," Elsa said, one hand on her hip. They stood behind the crowd, observing both the show and audience. "They just whack each other. He's not even trying to disguise her voice."

"Must be a local thing," Rapunzel said. "We'll have to ask Ariel about it."

They walked away as the jester started beating the new police puppet. Rapunzel, once again, made sure the bottle in the front pouch of her peasant costume was still there. They merged back into the crowd, dodging women with baskets on their head and men hoisting carts. She was just happy to have some cousin time. And the town square was so elegant, with purple drapes and dark green ivy circling every pillar.

"Now ventriloquism... that's hard."

"What's ven- ventriloquism?"

Rapunzel smiled. "It's like puppetry but you're on stage with the puppet, pretending you're not speaking. Takes a lot of practice and patience... which I had plenty of in the tower. Remind me to show you some time. Pascal and I do this great trick with a glass of water and..."

She sniffed. Something smelled... nostalgic. Savory and crisp. Sharp like coffee and thick like butter.

"Do you smell that?" Rapunzel muttered. Like a puppy, she followed her nose, weaving past booths until she came to a bakery. A woman was setting out pies in a wooden stand.

"I know this taste. I remember it... when I was in the tower. Mother... Mother Gothel brought me these berries. She didn't know what they were, but I baked them in a pie, and it was one of the best things ever. The crust turned out just right. The inside was warm and gooey. And it had this taste I couldn't even describe. Rich and spicy and... like different instruments in a symphony. We both ate it all up. That was one of my proudest days there."

She stepped back and rubbed her forehead. "Wow, for a moment there I was back in the tower. I wonder if this is where the berries came from. Wouldn't that be a funny coincidence. Do you think-"

She looked around. Elsa was not beside her.

"Elsa?" She darted her head. "Elsa?"

The crowds shuttered back and forth, with jingling pouches and stomping boots. Rapunzel retraced her steps, returning to where she last saw her. She wasn't there.

Rapunzel cupped her hands over her mouth. She was about to call out, but stopped herself. Yelling out her name was not a good idea. Not when they were in disguise, hiding in the country they were at war with. How many people named "Elsa" lived in this part of the world?

Which meant Elsa couldn't call out for her. She knew "Rapunzel" wasn't common. Her only recourse was to wander.

She circled the town square for what felt like hours, searching through alleyways and tripping over muddy flagstones. Rapunzel cursed herself for not thinking this would happen. For not setting up a meeting point. She couldn't even find where they had come out of the water.

Then she spotted a large fountain, big enough to catch anyone's eye. The best bet was to stay there and, hopefully, Elsa would get the same idea.

She climbed onto the fountain's rim and scanned the crowd like a lighthouse sweeping for lost ships. Not five minutes and a voice called to her.

"What are you doing up there? Come on."

It wasn't Elsa's voice, but a young female. Confused, Rapunzel stepped down and approached. The girl who called her was wearing clothes like hers.

"Lunch is over. You don't want to be late," she said.

"I don't?" Rapunzel asked.

She took Rapunzel's hand and led her through the crowds, dodging passersby left and right. "Are you new?" the stranger asked.

"Um... yes?" Rapunzel couldn't tell this girl who she was, but how was she supposed to explain what she wasn't? This stranger thought she belonged some place.

"You shouldn't cross Minchin. She's a real fussbudget. You don't know how bad she can get."

They caught up to a group of other women in the same clothing, rushing toward a bamboo fence. The fence closed off a section of the town square between two houses. Next to the entrance gate stood a giant woman, with thick arms and black curly hair.

"I knew you trollops would dawdle. Move it, ladies." She grabbed each woman who passed by the arm, shoving them forward with her thick monkey fingers. Rapunzel stumbled through the bamboo-fence.

Rapunzel could smell soap, drying fabrics, water, and metal. Women circled a large well of shallow water, scrubbing clothes against washboards. Then Rapunzel understood--these were uniforms. And they thought... oh, of all the silliest...

"Wait. I don't-"

Minchin practically belly-bounced them forward. "These clothes don't scrub themselves."

"But, I'm actually-"

The girl beside her shushed her.

Minchin slammed the door shut. "You think because this is a laundry I'm soft? You think I'm taking it easy on you because you're new?" she boomed. "I was at the first battle of Remmerslund. I got a medal for it. That have any meaning to ya? You think someone who survived Remmerslund should be taken lightly?"

"I-"

"Let me look at you, doll face." Minchin pinched Rapunzel's chin. "What are you, twelve? This your first day?"

"Uh-huh," Rapunzel said with scrunched cheeks.

Minchin yanked Rapunzel's hands out. "Look at these hands. Like cream. Daddy's little princess, huh?"

"Actually, I am-"

"Ladies! What are you standing around for? Get the pool and start scrubbing."

The few who'd stuck around to watch Minchin berate Rapunzel scattered off to different stations. Rapunzel was too scared to do anything but follow. But Minchin barred her with her arm.

"Oh, no, not you. You're on stains. See those women over there?"

Minchin pointed to a roofed niche across from the pool. Five women sat on logs around a pile of clothes, mostly soldiers' uniforms. Each of them held an article, digging their fingers into a particular spot. Occasionally they would dip their item into a sudsy bucket of water shared between them.

"We're going to chisel those twiggy fingers of yours into iron bars. Your skin will be ragged by the end of the day. By the end of the week, you won't care. You won't even feel them."

"No, you don't understand. I can't-"

"Do you know how lucky you are to have this job? Working with the royal laundry? How many other women would kill for this? To leave their farmsteads, get away from their deadbeat husbands. Get cracking."

Minchin shoved Rapunzel forward. She found an unoccupied stump. Minchin reached into the pile and grabbed a tablecloth.

"See this? Red wine. Gravy." She tossed it on Rapunzel's lap. "When you're done, I don't want to see a trace. Understand me? There's no such thing as 'good enough'. I want it gone. The castle's not going to pay for new cloths every time the Duke's bratty son flings his potatoes."

Minchin stepped back. Addressing the group. "Let's go, ladies. These are soldiers' uniforms we're washing. And the load's only going to get worse. It's war time. The castle's not going to shell out to give every soldier a bright spanking new uniform. So when some private can see the bloodspot where its previous owner bought it, you're gonna answer to me."

She turned away, leaving Rapunzel with the group of women.

"She's on a roll today, isn't she?" said a middle-aged woman with a lean face and beaked nose.

"I- I- I-"

"Better start working, kid. She don't let us leave until it's finished. And it's mighty hard to see the stains after sundown."

A thousand thoughts clashed through Rapunzel's mind. She was a princess. This wasn't her country. She was in disguise. She wasn't a washer-woman. This country was at war with hers--she was an enemy of the state. No one would believe her. For them to do so, she had to reveal herself. She'd be recognized. Elsa didn't know where she was. If she tried to leave, Minchin might kill her. But she wouldn't kill a princess. But no one knew she was a princess. But she was a princess of the enemy country.

"What's your name?" the beaked woman asked.

"Rapun- Rapun...a."

"Rapunna? I'm Agitha." She introduced the other women around the circle. Rapunzel glanced at their fingers, chalk-white with splotches of bruised skin. "Better get started, dear. Minchin's bark is as bad as her bite. I've seen her shove a girl's head into the laundry pool. Almost drowned her."

Rapunzel swallowed. Unconsciously, her fingers began working at the stained cloth. "Is she always like that?"

"Bet you never expected the chief launderer to be so militant, eh?" Agitha shouldered her good-naturedly. "Remmerslund must've changed her."

"What's... what's Remmerslund?"

"Don't they teach that in history? Little fort in the north. Been attacked three times, but she was there since the first. Thirteen years old, bringing supplies. The fort took a cannonade, wiped out its main force. Naught but five men left, but she took up the flag, stopped them from deserting. Held the fort until reinforcements arrived. Now she's a legend in her own mind."

"And won't let us forget it," a woman named Tinnie said. "Haven't had a day she's not brought it up. Don't ask to see her medal. She'll talk your ear off till sunset. And still expect you to finish your clothes."

"You won't need to ask her. Odds are she'll bring it out at some point. Maybe whack you across the cheek with it."

Rapunzel swallowed again. She returned to her scrubbing, fingers already getting sore.

"Did you hear the princess is back?" Tinnie asked.

"I didn't know she was gone," Agitha said.

"She wasn't gone for as long as I thought she'd be."

Agitha scoffed. "You wouldn't know it for all she's done."

"You're talking about Ariel?" Rapunzel asked.

Agitha nodded. "Prince Eric's new wife. Well, if a year's still considered new."

"Rumor is they're trying to have a baby," Tinnie whispered to Rapunzel. "Maybe she's having trouble and she left to clear her head. But they need an heir. It'll strengthen the regime."

"I like her fine. As a person," a woman named Margot said. "I see her around town sometimes. Looking in windows like a curious child. But she's no leader. Never heard her taking council or hearing petitions." The other women nodded and murmured acknowledgement.

"Funny, the whole kingdom wanted to see him happily settled down. And when he finally did, it ruined the kingdom," Agitha said.

"Why? What happened?" Rapunzel asked.

Tinnie interrupted. "You don't know that it was her."

Margot shrugged. "All I know is Prince Eric married her. Not more than a month later, the fishing ships pull back, shops shut down, and trawling equipment became contraband. I don't know why. But you don't need which way a fart's blowing to know that it stinks."

Rapunzel clapped her hand over her mouth, preventing herself from laughing at something so vulgar. The other laundrywomen looked at her funny.

"But fishing must be, like, your main resource," Rapunzel said.

"Of course. You been living here long?"

"Um... I used to live inland. On a farm. Far away."

"Came to make a new life for yourself," Agitha said. The other girls nodded and returned to their scrubbing, suspicions placated. "I did the exact same thing. Farm for seven generations. One bad season and--boom--it's all gone. Debt's recalled. Minchin's right--you are lucky to get this job."

"Lucky for anyone to be in a job. All my friends have left. Followed their husbands to find work elsewhere. Serving some serf or baron on his land."

"Meanwhile we get the scent of sea air without any of the benefits," Tinnie said.

Rapunzel kept her lips closed. No one had any idea Ariel had been a mermaid, and this was why their town was suffering.

"I never thought I'd say this, but I miss having fish for lunch." The ladies murmured positively. "A nice fat bowl of fried prawns. Lobster stew. Today it was grouse eggs and bruised pears."

"You were lucky to get eggs," Agitha added.

"Whatever happened to that girl in the clam cart? You know--'oysters, clams, and cockles!'--she'd be shouting in that piping voice. Haven't seen her for months. Hope she's doing all right."

"Well, maybe this war will boost things a bit. If we can't fish ourselves, at least we can trade for them."

Tinnie scoffed. "Stupid. A port town having to trade exports for fish? We'd be the laughingstock of any kingdom."

"How did the war get started?" Rapunzel asked.

The laundrywomen froze all but their working fingers to stare at her. Rapunzel had committed a major mistake. "You had your head in the sea, lass?" Agitha asked.

"I... I don't get much news out on the farm."

"Ain't exactly our war. But two big kingdoms like Corona and Arendelle, you need all the ships you can get," Tinnie said.

"Lord have mercy they don't set their sights on us. Next thing we know there'll be an invasion," Margot said. "It's the sign of the end for sure. We'll be lined up against the wall in a matter of months."

"Hush, Margot," Agitha said. "If these are our last days, let's talk of more pleasant things."

"Hey," Rapunzel said, thinking a mystery was a pleasant thing. "I found this bottle the other day. And... it looks pretty old. Do you know anyone who might know where it's from?"

Rapunzel plucked it out of her dress and handed it to Agitha, bottom-side up. "It's old. That's the kingdom's old emblem. This is the new one." She spread out the lapel of the uniform she was working on. The differences were slight--a wider shield, narrower laurel wreaths, and different words on the crown.

"When did they change it?" Rapunzel asked.

"Oh, a long time ago. Hundreds and hundreds of years." Agitha sniffed inside. "Smells like it had some kind of tipple. Looks like a bottle for spirits too. Where'd you find it?"

"In the ocean. It had a note inside."

"You found an actual note in a bottle?" Tinnie mused. "I think you come from some kind of fairy tale, not a farm."

Rapunzel stood straight, ready to muster up some kind of response.

"Did someone say 'spirits'?" Minchin marched up to the circle of ladies. Her voice carried as if she were in Rapunzel's ear. "Is someone imbibing here?"

The women averted their eyes.

"I want answers. Chop, chop."

Again, no answer. She placed her hands on her hips and glowered at the group.

"Why are you trying to hurt me? Do you want to get me fired? As a widow, I'd starve. There's no place for someone like me."

"It was me." Rapunzel said, guilty for starting the trouble. "I wasn't drinking. I was asking about this bottle I found."

Minchin yanked it out of her hand. She inspected it for a label or trace of its former ingredients.

"You see, I was trying to figure out-"

"What are you here for? To work? Or to tickle your girlish whims? Huh? Huh?" Her hot breath stung Rapunzel's eyes. "Any time spent not scrubbing out those stains is wasted time. You should consider yourself lucky I allow you to make conversation. I can take that away too. Is that what you want?"

"N- no," Rapunzel said.

"Then get back to work. And any distractions to that work..." She chucked the bottle into the air. "Must go!"

A quiet chirp of shock left Rapunzel's lips as the bottle sailed over the bamboo fence, where lay the rocky shore. The sound of a glittering crash followed.

It was the same sound her heart made.

#Ariel #Elsa #Rapunzel #Tangled #The Little Mermaid #Frozen #fan fic #fanfic #fan fiction #fanfiction #Reprise #Disney #Disney Princess #DisneyPrincess #crossover

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