#Totally not nervous about posting in a larger fandom | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fourseasonsfigs · 5 months

Text

Building Block Figs - Armory

Following up on the recent sets of building block figs I've been posting, comes one of my absolute favorites!

As I mentioned with the earlier fig sets (Building Block Figs - Beautiful Fight Scene in the Middle of the Lake (Part One, Two, and Coda); Basking in the Sun, Catching Light, and Two Devils), I missed these sets when they first came out, so I've had to pick them all up on Xianyu. With the exception of this set! This one I couldn't get on Xianyu, despite my best efforts. I have only seen it for sale exactly once, and when I tried to buy it, it turned out the listing was only up to draw traffic, and the seller just had one other (vaguely related) set. I was resigned to just keep watching and searching for it and hoping for the best, which was a real pity, because just from the small sales picture I really, really had to have it.

Thankfully! Qilin, the merch wrangler extraordinaire (@88Qilin on Twitter), had bought this set way back in the day, and when she heard I was on the search for more of these sets, was kind enough to check in with me to see if I needed it. AND BOY DID I. She immediately sent it off, and it arrived in record time! She even included some wonderful little extras, that I took a picture of immediately, but for some reason can no longer find. I'll take another pic and add it! In the meantime, I'll add a placeholder:

[Qilin's extra goodies pic goes here]

I was so excited to get this set, I can't even tell you. I feel super, super lucky.

(Fun fact, Qilin is the reason I originally found out about fan made figs in the first place! I saw her post on Twitter (also way back in the day) about the New Year's series of 6 figs, and I absolutely had to have them. I had just reactivated my long-dormant Twitter account to keep up with the fandom, and I was super nervous to message her, thinking she would be like, "who is this total rando messaging me out of nowhere?!" But no, she was super nice, and very helpful, and it was entirely thanks to her I was able to buy the whole set. A minor miracle at the time, trust me, considering how green I was at navigating Weidian back then. If you ever want to buy figs directly, definitely check out her pinned post walkthrough on her Twitter page, it's invaluable information.)

The set came sealed and as usual, in a plain box. Inside there was the same set up as the other sets in this series - a double bagged bag of bricks, the card with the QR code for the online 3-D instructions, and a handy little tool to separate bricks.

The full name of this set is Lao Wen Sacrificed his Life to Save Ah Xu. It measures 8.0 x 5.6 x 12.1 cm, and is rated 10 hours to complete. The "hours to complete" ratings have been extremely accurate to date. But, I was determined to get this set done over this holiday weekend, so hoped that my prior experience on these would serve me well to get it done in record time. So I timed myself!

Here I am getting ready to start. Not a lot of colors, which is typical for these sets. Not too bad looking, huh? You'll notice that unlike the other sets, I didn't carefully pre-sort out all the pieces by size and shape. I simply sorted by color and left them in big piles like this, in a bid to shave off even more time. I was a bit curious if it would be faster to hunt-and-peck through each pile for the right bricks, or if sorting them was about the same. Given that it took about an hour to sort through the larger sets, I decided to roll the dice here.

The directions informed me there were 184 steps in this set. Not too bad! I sat down, put on my headphones, cranked up some music, and got started.

I finished the first little block just as fast as could be. I was flying! I was so proud of myself. It was a holiday weekend, the morning was bright and sunny, and I was having a grand old time.

The next step was to add a second base square in, and then a third and fourth. I added in the second base and kept on flying through it. And then...I ran out of a white brick in the largest size.

Which is kind of impossible. Each of these sets has extras of all the bricks - quite a few, actually. So I searched through the white pile a couple extra times, and sat there and wondered what was going on. As you know, I have lots of spare bricks from the previous sets, so it would be easy enough to pull the right one out, but this shouldn't be happening.

So I was like, wait a minute. I looked back at the phone directions for the step I was on, and said, hold on, I don’t see the character 白 for white anywhere. Uh oh. I Google Translated the characters that were there and sure enough, 透明 meant transparent.

I had just been going off the colors on the phone screen, and I mean, come on! The bricks looked white! If you scroll up and look at it, don't you think so too?

Anyway.

So, I pulled off all the white bricks, and replaced them with transparent bricks, and hey, what do you know, I had plenty of them.

Alright, alright, so this happens when you don't speak the language. Never fear, I'm back on track!

Dear friends, I was not back on track.

Sometime in all this confusion, I had spun around my little base square around, so when I attached it to the other base squares, I started filling in the top bricks the wrong way around. Luckily, I realized what I was doing after a few steps in, and I didn't have to totally reassemble it like I did with the Not White But Transparent Brick Debacle of early 2024. I just gently disconnected the base squares from each other, turned them around, and kept going.

So! I finished the first layer 1 hour, 46 minutes in. This, of course, includes the one major mistake and the one minor mistake. It's pretty big, isn't it? The other fig sets only had max 2 base squares, so I was pretty excited to see how nice and big this was. The transparent bricks look nice, huh?

I took a bit of a break. Made a little bit of lunch, tidied up a bit, and then came back excited to tackle the next round.

I was paying attention to the names of the brick colors at this point, believe me.

I finished the next layer 2 hours and 54 minutes in. Pretty cool looking, isn't it? It looks like some kind of disk in an alien language. I must admit when I got here, I was both quite happy and also a little concerned. Only layer 2? Still 138 layers to go, and it's been about 3 hours?

Well, no big deal if it took me longer, really. I was having a good time, and there was no actual rush. I will say that at this point, my finger tips were certainly feeling the constant pressing and snapping of the bricks. They had actually toughened up back when I was doing set after set after set, but it had been some time, and my fingertips were back to their usual soft selves.

Luckily for my fingers, I had errands to run and other things to do, so my sore little fingertips got a needed break.

The next morning, I was up and back at it!

The third layer was starting to look like the actual base of the platform from the show. I was pretty excited to finish this layer, I have to say. I took little breaks here and there, but I was pretty determined to make some real progress.

By that evening, I had gotten pretty far. I stopped here at 6 hours and 3 minutes.

I was inordinately pleased by getting to this step. I could see the robes carefully spread out here, just like the show, and their hands out there. There was also a little bit of white where I was starting Lao Wen's new hair color.

You can tell the passage of time by how the light keeps changing in each of these pictures! I always end with the bricks for the step I'm on laid out in front of me, so I always know where I am when I pick the set back up. My memory is just too bad otherwise, I'll forget what I'm doing.

Well, 3-day holiday weekends don't last forever, so I woke up this morning determined to finish this. There was a little bit of race against the clock today, since I had appointments I had to take care of, and I needed to have enough light left to take final pictures. So, I sat down, and started going as fast as I could.

At 7 hours and 6 minutes, I had built up the bodies, and was on to the heads. I hurried through my afternoon errands and got back around 3:10 pm. The sun sets here around 4:20, so I didn't have much time. Tomorrow I get on a plane, so it really was up against the clock! I didn't even put my headphones on this time, I just sat down and focused.

But, it turns out that I didn't need that much time. 45 minutes later, I was done!

Total hours clocked in at 7 hours and 51 minutes. I will tell you, I was indeed flying through this set - all those other fig sets that I made mistakes on definitely helped me. I knew what I was doing, and I went fast. If this had been my first set, or even my second (ok, let's be real, even my third), it would 100% have taken me at least the full 10 hours. It also helped that other than Big Error 1 and Small Error 1, I didn't make any other mistakes.

You can see how many bricks are left (which is why I knew something was up when I ran out of that white brick earlier). I will say that not pre-sorting the bricks is definitely the way to go - it's pretty easy to pick out the right ones, and certainly saves a lot of time just organizing them into piles.

Alright! Let's do some beauty shots, shall we? As you know, the light wasn't super great, but it was good enough!

Oops, I see I need to press down a little on Lao Wen's head to get the bricks firmly squeezed together. I'll admit my aching fingertips were not pressing down super hard at this point!

I really love the 3-D effect of the icicles ringing the platform. This set is just fantastic!

It's a little hard to see A-Xu's luxurious mane of hair here with the black on black, but it's quite nice.

Lao Wen's closed eyes! Please also note the little white underlayer on his robes here at his neck. So cute.

This is a nice angle to see A-Xu's married hair bun (minus one hairpin, of course) and Lao Wen's loop of hair.

This angle is the coup de grâce of this whole set for me. For the longest time, I thought the single bricks was his eyes and the marks down his cheeks were tears, but in reality I think the larger bricks are his eyes, and the smaller bricks are his eyebrows going up in shock and horror. But all I can see are (non canonically accurate) tears free flowing down his cheeks!

I did waste several minutes at the point I was building this just contemplating his face, and I was THIS close to subbing in the light blue for to make tears after all, because (sorry A-Xu) I find it delightfully hilarious. Little Lego tears! I can't even. But, I decided to go with the actual design for this so you could see it (and go back and replace them afterwards).

Ahem. Anyway. This is also a beautiful shot to see Lao Wen's long white hair draping over his shoulders.

More of the snow and icicles all the way around. It looks great.

Seriously, don't you think they look like tears? Right, anyway. This actually isn't a bad angle to admire the modeling on the clothing.

And we're back around. The modeling really is beautiful on this, with their robes carefully spread out behind them and to the sides of them.

Time for some closeups:

Aww, Lao Wen.

Aww, A-Xu, honey.

The bottoms-up angle was really hard to get on this set, since the base was so large.

The top down angle looks great I think. This is actually the first time that I'm noticing they have the scroll underneath them.

Honestly, I'm so impressed with this set. With only 9 colors, and some very basic building block shapes, they did a gorgeous job rendering this scene.

With my last picture, in the last of my fading light, here's my two sets of armory figs re-enacting this scene. The closest set is actually from the New Year's set of of 6 that Qilin helped me buy back in the day, so this really is full circle!

I couldn't quite get my camera to focus on both sets, but you can see the relative size difference at least. It's a big set!

Alright, these are the last of these sets for a while - there's two more sets of two single figures each, but I have not been able to locate them on Xianyu either. I'm ok with it though - this is the last of the big scene sets, and one I really, really wanted. The others are nice but not quite as special as the sets.

Thanks for the figthusiasts friends that have accompanied me on these building block fig posts! They're all quite long, so I appreciate you reading all my thoughts and experiences with these. I absolutely love them - they were a ton of fun, and I only wish I had more! I'd love to enact out the entire series with building block scenes - can you imagine?

Material: Plastic building blocks

Fig Count: 520

Scene Count: 37

Rating: Pure love

[link to the Master Post Index]

#word of honor #wenzhou #wen kexing #zhou zishu #episode 36 #word of honor merch #figthusiast

19 notes · View notes

itsclydebitches · 3 years

Note

hello! loved your tbb meta posts (10/10 analyses of the batch and their respective characterizations), but since it wasn't explicitly mentioned -- did you catch the post-s1 interview with jennifer corbett (head writer) and brad rau (exec producer)? their answers about crosshair's chip being out were Interesting (tm) but fairly definitive-sounding, so I'm wondering what your thoughts on it might've been.

Hey there, anon! Thank you—I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed them :D

I’ve heard this info second-hand and ran into one written interview on the topic (idk if it’s the same one you’re thinking of), but my first response is… arguably a reach lol. Not to start off with a tin hat on, but it’s always possible that the writers are lying. Which yes, yes, we have a knee-jerk reaction against the idea of anyone lying for any reason, but in this case, it would be in service of both the writer’s plans and the audience’s enjoyment. Let’s say for the sake of argument that Crosshair’s chip is definitely still in and the entire point of this setup is a double twist: first the reveal that his chip is gone, then the real reveal that it’s actually still in and Crosshair was lied to (among other possibilities). How can the writers discuss him during hiatus without revealing that twist? By playing the current knowledge straight, despite the fact that they know otherwise. Yup, Crosshair’s chip is out. Yup, he chose this 100% willingly. Nothing else to see here, folks! To do otherwise would be to reveal the twist way too early. Even refusing to answer the question, dodging it, would give it all away. Imagine if during a season finale we’re meant to believe that a character is dead and then during hiatus an interviewer asks how the cast will mourn them. If the writer refuses to answer, every fan will realize that Something Is Up and what’s the main possibility here? That they’re not actually dead! Twist spoiled… unless the writer pretends that what the audience currently knows is definitely the truth here.

Taking my tin hat off now, these interviews are one of the main reasons why I’m worried about the writing moving forward. Because despite the paragraph above, I’m by no means convinced that the writers are skillfully keeping up a lie to avoid spoilers. It’s not outside the realm of possibility, but it’s not necessarily likely either. Which leaves us taking their words at face value and that’s… a problem. Because as so many fans have already pointed out, the writing is setting up a twist that, according to these interviews, doesn’t exist. That doesn’t say good things about their intentions for the show vs. what actually ends up on screen and that kind of disconnect becomes frustrating for viewers very quickly. Take the headaches, for example. I’ve seen a couple of fans explain Crosshair’s away using the engine accident: “His face got burned up, of course his head still hurts. You’re reading too much into this.” But imagine for a moment if I’d tried to do the same thing for Wrecker prior to “Battle Scars”: “He gets thrown around and hits his head nearly every episode, of course it hurts. You’re reading too much into this.” Other fans would have—quite rightfully—explained to me how television works and that this repetitive problem is functioning as foreshadowing of a larger problem. With a side of the fact that this is an action show where the characters consistently shrug off their injuries. We’re not supposed to take Wrecker getting thrown around seriously. He’s the brawn of the group, meant to withstand a lot of damage, with any injuries being presented as either #cool (Wrecker shrugs off Fennec’s hits to go after Omega, yeah!) or #funny (Wrecker treats Crosshair shooting him like a badge of honor lol), not something he’s going to have to grapple with in a serious manner. So the audience recognizes the question, what’s more likely? That Wrecker’s headaches are a deliberate visual cue on the part of the writers to tell us that something important is happening, or that suddenly how the genre treats injuries has drastically changed?

It's precisely the same with Crosshair. He’s not the brawn like Wrecker is, but he’s still the action (anti)hero who shrugs off injuries because this is a show interested in more fun, explosive plot, not a deep dive into recovery. (See also: the story doing nothing with Echo’s trauma.) When Crosshair is injured, he’s immediately fighting to get back into a ship and when we next see him he’s passed the recovery stage entirely. There’s only a scar to show that this happened at all. We don’t watch him getting bacta skin grafts, or worrying about his eyesight, or struggling to eat, etc. The point is that he was injured for the purposes of that episode and now he’s not. So why would we think his headaches are a long-term symptom when the show is otherwise not at all interested in writing long-term symptoms? What’s more likely, that this familiar visual cue is being repeated to tell us that this is the chip, just like it was with Wrecker, or that the story is randomly interested in something it never was interested in before?

The audience is right to think that there’s more going on because the show has been written to say, "Something more is going on." The headaches, Crosshair’s refusal to give concrete information, the group conveniently not using Tech’s scanner, the burn scar hiding where the chip’s scar would be, a lack of motivation for the Empire removing the chip, not seeing its removal when the show did include its power being amplified… all of these are deliberate writing choices to set up another reveal. But, if we take the interview at face value and learn that these weren’t deliberate details… then what? The writers are making mistakes? Throwing in “clues” for the hell of it that they never intend to cache in on? Unless there’s some amazing answer here that allows for both these inconsistencies' explanations and the writers’ hard stance—something I personally can’t think up—then we’re left with is a pretty serious flaw in the show. A flaw that’s going to undermine the audience’s trust in everything we get from here on out. The next time we see something that feels like a cool setup/reveal, half the fandom will be going, “Yes! It totally means that ___ is going to happen!!” while the other half will be going, “… does it? Because we thought things were happening with Crosshair and that went nowhere.” Writers have to tackle the implications of what they’ve put on screen. Otherwise, the story falls apart.

So yeah, I’m aware of those hard “His chip is out and this is his choice” statements and, frankly, they make me nervous for season two. Because what the show needs is to engage with what we actually got in the finale: an ambiguous state of Crosshair’s chip, a number of hints that it might still be in there, and an ethical dilemma that, so far, hasn’t acknowledged how much of an influence the group’s decisions have had on Crosshair’s. I tackled most of this in the first analysis, but something I didn’t unpack there was the “choice” of not leaving with them. I mean yes, by all exact definitions—and if we accept that the chip really isn’t there—then Crosshair absolutely had free will in that moment to do as he pleased. But life is way more complicated than that. Imagine for a moment that I put two candy bars in front of you. “You can have whichever one you’d like,” I say. You reach for the one on the left and I glare, hard. I scoff at you. I mutter about your choices, your personality, your flaws, and your mistakes. So you reach for the one on the right instead and I’m… neutral. Okay then. Right candy bar it is. “They could have chosen the one on the left” someone watching claims. “Nothing was stopping them. No one put a gun to their head!” And yeah, the concept of “stopping them” was never that extreme… but the more compassionate, nuanced look acknowledge that some measure of “stopping them” did exist. Insults. Cruelty. A clear indication that one choice was wrong and the other was right. That’s one hell of an influence, even if it's not as formidable as a gun or a chip.

And that’s what Crosshair is dealing with. Yes, joining the Empire is clearly wrong and yes, a non-chipped Crosshair has free will to walk away from it… but walking towards TBB was never presented as a real option for him. He saw that through their inaction when they never came back for him. Then in Hunter’s refusal to admit that they’d made a mistake in leaving him behind. Wrecker putting all responsibility on his shoulders, despite knowing what the chip does to someone. Tech backing him up and framing this situation as stemming solely from Crosshair’s base personality—“severe and unyielding.” It’s seen in the always-loving Omega walking away from him in the barracks, in Crosshair’s hesitation to follow them to safer ground (and boy oh boy, do I have sad headcanons about that), and most especially, in their reactions to him saving Omega. What Crosshair learns in that moment is that they honestly believe that he, not the Empire's chip, but he would shoot Hunter and that saving their little sister is not a point in his favor. It's met only with glares and a need to disarm himself. They don’t trust him and actions that should produce trust are outright ignored, so… where can they go from here? Nowhere, according to TBB’s actions. They’re not giving Crosshair any wiggle room, any hope that these relationships can be repaired, or any acknowledgement that they had a hand in things getting this bad. So when they offer to let Crosshair come with them—which is very significantly presented as an obligation, not something they want—he knows that offer is BS. Whatever their real feelings might be (because the found family show obviously wants us to believe that everyone loves each other), their actions have said loud and clear that they don’t want him. That yes, he could technically walk onto that ship… but that it would be the “wrong” decision accompanied by more insults, scoffs, and pressure to do otherwise. That once he's there, he'll be treated only as a threat with any good deeds ignored. It's an awful offer outside of it being the morally correct decision when it comes to leaving the Empire... so Crosshair reaches for the right candy bar instead.

That very long tangent out of the way, THIS is what season two has to grapple with, along with all that ambiguity and the existence of these "The chip is still here" hints. But the interviews don’t seem to acknowledge that all of this exists, instead framing things as if we’d ended the finale knowing for sure that the chip is out and had watched a season where Crosshair is 100% responsible for everything that’s happened, no Empire or TBB influence involved. The way the interviews frame things doesn’t match up with the text, so I can only hope this is an example of bad communication, or the writers keeping a spoiler under wraps, because otherwise… season two might be frustrating to watch, with fans continually going, “Why are you ignoring that this happened? Why are you pretending that all of this is simpler than it actually is?”

#TBB #The Bad Batch #Crosshair #Star Wars #SW #mymetas

13 notes · View notes

jadekitty777 · 3 years

Text

Fic Writer Questions

Tagged by @victorious1956 (I kind of forgot you tagged me for like, ever, lol). These stats are from 9-1-21.

How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 79!

What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

411,393. Jesus, when did that happen?

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Mostly RWBY, though I have 2 Undertale fanfics up as well.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Sick Leave (485)

2. A Bit of Luck (324)

3. The Hero’s Road (253)

4. Transmission Error (214)

5. Temptation (187)

4 out of 5 of these are Qrow/Clover fanfics and of those, two of them are drabbles.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes, always. My philosophy has always been that if someone took the time to comment, then I can take the time to show my appreciation for it. (It can also sometimes lead to friends!)

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Ooo… Hm. I tend to like happy endings since I write mostly romance. So, Luck of the Draw probably wins by a mile, especially considering it was a vent fic.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Yes, I have. Or, well, kind of? Not in so much that the characters of two shows tend to collide, but moreso AUs using that idea of the show.

Absolutely the Miraculous Ladybug/RWBY AU is the weirdest one I’ve got.

Though I DID at one point want to do a Voltron/RWBY story and actually use Voltron and RWBY characters together as a more traditional crossover. Never did get around to it.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Eeh, yes. Like twice on Ao3 and twice on fanfiction.net. While I can remember what all of them were about, the one that super stuck with me is the very first one I ever got – but that was because it was from my friends at the time and I was like 12 or 13?

Might be why I tend to be nervous posting stuff or showing friends my work.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do on occasion. I used to a lot more consistently when I was younger but anymore I tend to find keeping the, ah, “groove” to be difficult. I have about 3 up and a LOT more in my folder that never got… *snorts* completed.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, or at least, not outright.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t believe so.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Oh yeah, many times. Most of my Kingdom Hearts fanfiction days were all cowritten as well as some really old Final Fantasy 7 stories.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Hurm, “all time” huh? God I always was terrible at this “ultimate favorite” thing.

Honestly, I don’t know. One of the ones that probably stuck with me the longest was Sora/Riku because Sora is my favorite KH character and Riku is, well.

…He’s pretty lol.

In general, I tend to gravitate towards the optimistic characters and then pair them with someone they have good chemistry with, which often is someone they are friends with – though, not always. I tend to like that emotional connection though as it tends to jive well with my own personal lifestyle (as in, I’m demisexual lol).

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Probably the Dragon AU idea I had for Taiqrow – Bound to the Sky with You. I always intended to cycle back to it, but with my waning motivation for RWBY, I don’t see it happening.

What are your writing strengths?

I’d say for the type of stories I write – single character pieces and romance are where I do my best work. I tend to favor a small cast; it’s easier to maintain and keep focus when I’m only juggling a handful of people. Character pieces tend to be things where I want to explore something about the character that I have an extreme interest in (I.E. Tai’s depression or Qrow’s alcoholism).

As for what works best in my writing itself, probably dialogue and paragraph flow. With the former, I mean I’m pretty confidant my dialogue for characters sounds natural, both for what the characters would potentially say in canon as well as just authentic to a conversation actual people might have. For the latter, I tend to think a lot about how and where to put my sentences and how to construct the breaks in the story so it all provides the best impact.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Long writing, 1000000%. I struggle very much with doing a piece that is longer than a chapter or two – partially because I tend to lose interest or want to jump into another project but mostly becaaaaaaause- I am slow as fucking molasses. I have never been good at ‘freeforming’ my writing. This is mainly because I put too much pressure on myself to get things right the first time or, sometimes, will spend minutes searching a thesaurus to find the right word. I’ve tried many recommended techniques to try and speed up my writing process and leave the more time-consuming stuff for the editing process, but the habit is what it is.

Probably also goes without saying that, since I’m good with smaller casts, of course larger casts are also a bit of an issue for me. It’s hard to balance like, nine people for example. Which, when I wrote One Piece fanfiction was…. Yeah, kind of an issue LOL.

I’m also a bit weirdly OCD about not reusing a certain word too many times or even a character’s name too many times. I don’t like things to sound repetitive; though ironically, it’s probably not even something most readers would even notice.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I mean. I did an entire fanfic with ASL in it soooo…

More seriously though? I think it’s fine, but research is often necessary if it’s going to be a huge staple for the story. Not only do language and culture go hand-in-hand, it’s important to think why the character knows certain languages and what environment they grew up in to learn it and how that might influence them in general.

Also, providing translations for what’s being said has to be carefully considered, because the best way to do it is in text, but it can be hard to do so and not break the flow of your writing.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Ha, don’t laugh. Dragonball Z. You will never find them though – I purged them back in high school.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Terribly, I love a lot of my fanfics and am proud of many. Also, I’m still terrible at picking favorites. But, okay – I Found My Heart in San Francisco is almost always the first Taiqrow fanfic I will recommend. I poured so much love and research into that piece and I really enjoyed how it came out, even if it could have been stronger. If the person isn’t looking for a romance piece though, I would probably recommend The Magical Number Seven, Plus or Minus One. That one is a Qrow-centric character piece, exploring his journey from young child to adult and the things he learns along the way thanks to the influence of certain people in his life.

Given the chance though, I would name half my folder just out of pride lol. It’s important to love what you do, and I do cherish the stuff I write.

Tagging: @spectralscathath, @aerislei and @raybyanothername (if you guys want to/haven’t already done it, of course)

7 notes · View notes

pocketmouse18 · 3 years

Text

Thank you so much to @herosofmarvelanddc @cloudypaws and @mtab2260 for the tag! This was so much fun to think about :)

(fair warning, I wrote too much for many of these...)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Just 2 :)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

450,577 if I did my math right!

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Officially? Just 1 - Agents of Shield (two, I guess, if you count MCU as separate, since I use characters from both...). Off the record, many more than that! I have lots of bits and bobs from other fandoms that I tinkered with when I was younger, still getting the hang of writing, not brave enough to post things, etc. etc. Some of those include X-Men, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, the Fosters, Star Wars, the Hunger Games, the 39 Clues, and a few others I can’t remember. None of those will likely see the light of day, mostly because they’re unfinished, not very good, and just not reflective of who I am as a writer anymore, but they were fun to play around with at the time :)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I just have the two, but The Important Thing is to Try wins, hands down, with 1227. Shoulder to Shoulder has 95, though, which I’m also very proud of! Important Thing has a definite advantage, being as long as it is, so I don’t know if that’s really a fair comparison between them.

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! Or at least, I always try to! I just can’t believe someone would be kind enough to take the time to tell me what they thought of my story, so I always want to take the time to thank them and return the favor :) Plus, as I’ve learned, it’s a fantastic way to get to know some really lovely people!

6. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Well... I technically only have one story that has an ending, at least on Ao3, and it’s not an especially angsty one, since it ends in Phil and Melinda getting married :) I have some angsty chapter endings in Important Thing, if that counts? I’m not even sure if any of my unpublished fiddlings have angsty endings (most don’t have endings at all lol)... I don’t mind writing angst, but I don’t know if I’m capable of making something without a happy (or at least hopeful) ending.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've ever written?

Not really, unless you count AoS/MCU crossovers (which I guess technically count, but also I would argue it’s not a true crossover since (and I will die on this hill) AoS is a part of MCU canon). When I was younger I was a fan of playing around with crossover AUs more so than the actual characters crossing paths (so like, what if these characters from XYZ were demigods or went to Hogwarts or what have you, and not so much what would happen if the X-Men met Luke, Leia, and Han on one of their space adventures). I started writing a crossover between AoS and the Marvel Rising cartoon once (which again, not sure if that’s a true crossover, since Daisy was in Marvel Rising, but I digress), where Coulson tasks Daisy to work with Kate Bishop and Rayshaun Lucas to collect and train a team of young Inhumans, starting with Kamala Khan, but I ran out of steam pretty quickly when it got too plot heavy.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don’t think so. I’ve had some people not understand some choices that I made, but they asked it in a way that I thought was perfectly nice, and I was happy to talk about it with them. Sometimes people get “mad” at me when I cause pain and suffering, but I know that’s all in good fun :)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope, not for me. I don’t read it or write it, personally. Writing a kiss is hard enough!

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge! Important Thing is probably too long and unwieldy to ever steal :P

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone once asked me on FFN if they could translate Important Thing to Russian, which was basically the coolest thing I’ve ever been asked!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A fic, no. I’d love to try sometime! I had a friend in college who I co-wrote with A LOT, though, so I know I enjoy that process, given the right partner. We wrote several short plays together (ranging from ~15-50 minutes in length, including one that we wrote in a single afternoon!), selected scenes from a larger (unfinished) play inspired by historical letters we found in an archive that were sent between a man from Massachusetts serving in the American Civil War, his wife, and his 8-year-old son, and several scripts for TV sitcoms (2 pilots for 2 different shows, plus additional eps for those pilots, and a couple of later eps for a different show that a classmate of ours wrote the pilot for - we were trying to practice what it would be like to be on a staff with a showrunner haha). The sitcom scripts in particular I’m very proud of, and could talk somebody’s ear off about if asked (one’s about ghost hunters and one’s about a DnD party!), but maybe that’s better saved for another post ;)

13. What's your all-time favorite ship?

That’s a very hard question for me! Mostly because shipping stuff is usually one of the last things to register for me when I’m thinking about shows/books/movies I like haha... I’m always a sucker for Philinda, and younger me was rather taken with Percabeth, I suppose.

14. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Hmm, several, really. The aforementioned AoS/Marvel Rising crossover I think could be really cool if I got it to work, but I don’t think that’ll ever happen. I also have a WIP that’s like an angstier version of a Hallmark Christmas movie AU where Daisy has to come home to her small town right before Christmas and figure out what she wants out of life, but I’m a little stalled out on that one, mostly because I’m waffling on who the charming love interest should be and because I don’t have enough of a plot, just lots of feelings about coming back home to a place you thought you had left behind lol.

I’d put Important Thing and it’s (as of yet) untitled sequel on here as things I want to finish, but I’m much more determined to see those through, so I don’t think they qualify for the “never will actually write” part of this question :)

15. What are your writing strengths?

I don’t know if other people agree with this, but I think I write pretty decent dialogue. My “training” (if you can call it that) is in, as you might have figured out by now, script and screenplay writing (those were the only creative writing classes I took in college). So having a sense of the rhythm a conversation needs to have and how to write dialogue that sounds mostly like how people really talk (but shined and tightened up enough so that it’s not actually like verbatim dialogue, which is far less interesting to read!) is something that I feel like comes pretty easily. I also think I do okay with similes and metaphors - my brain tends to work in that way. It’s easier for me to think of stuff (feelings, especially) in terms of comparing it to more familiar things than to just think of the thing directly, if that makes sense?

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

If I was being honest, this would be a very long section, but I know it’s not fun to read a big ol’ paragraph of someone self-criticizing, so I’ll keep it to one or two items ;) A big one for me is pacing, I think. I tend to write more than I need to and to over-explain things, so my chapters get very long and sometimes don’t really go anywhere? Until all of the sudden, they DO, because things need to HAPPEN! I’m a pretty rigorous self-editor, but I do have a really hard time cutting out sections (unless they’re really just not working), so even if it would help the pacing to leave out this conversation between character A and character B, I often can’t make myself cut it. I also think I struggle sometimes with balancing my ‘showing’ and my ‘telling,’ especially in the sense of me over-explaining certain things - like when it comes to feelings/facial expressions/etc, for example. I compensate for that in Important Thing by making it a part of a few people’s POV, but it’s not really a good habit to have in general. Also spelling! I’m really bad at spelling and run my stuff through robust spellchecks and text-to-speech before I post anything to make up for it :)

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I do it with some regularity, although I always get nervous about doing it wrong! It’s hard to avoid in AoS, where characters are spies and should (in theory, at least) have a working knowledge of multiple languages (”We’re spies, I thought we all learned languages?!”). Even in an AU, where characters aren’t spies, I like to try and pay homage to that, plus pay homage to certain characters’ native languages or just general multilingualism. I’ve spent a fair amount of time around people who speak more than one language, so I feel like it’s a natural part of groups of people to have more than one language spoken. I have a pretty good handle on written Spanish, a patchy idea of French, plus I know some Russian phrases from my dad and some German words from my grandfather, but I do rely on internet translation a lot. I usually run stuff through google, then run it backwards to see just how far off the initial translation was, then consult some actual, like, language learning sites to see if there’s particular idioms or common phrases that use different words than what google will give me, then run those words through backwards in the place of the original words to see if I can massage the whole thing to sound reasonably competent. Languages like Russian or Mandarin (which have their own alphabets/characters) are the hardest, since I have to also try and do a transliteration. I always try to put an apology/disclaimer in the notes any time I write in a language that isn’t English, because I’m sure I make lots of mistakes.

Also, I tend not to italicize words that are in other languages, because it looks weird on the page to me to set the other language apart like that (and because I italicize mainly for internal thoughts or emphasis, and usually what’s being said in another language isn’t internal or being emphasized). I put a rough translation at the end so we don’t have to pause the story for a parenthetical translation, but because the translation’s not right there, I try to either put in enough context clues that a person can still understand what’s going on, or I make sure that what’s written in another language isn’t critical to the overall understanding of the scene.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Officially, it’s AoS, since that’s the only fandom I’ve published for. I think the first true fandom I wrote fic for was probably either Harry Potter (entirely populated with OCs lol, I just liked using the world/setting), Percy Jackson (a mix of OCs and canon characters), or X-Men (all canon characters). I was a bit of a latecomer to fanfiction, though, like, I wrote a ton as a kid, but mostly original stuff, because I didn’t know that fanfiction in its current form was even allowed until I was in high school lol.

Oh! I almost forgot one! I’m not sure if this really counts as a fandom, but it’s definitely the earliest version of fanfic I wrote haha... I was like 12 and I wrote more than one story of an OC joining Robin Hood’s band of Merry Men, and then also one of that same OC becoming a knight of the Round Table, so like... do what you will with that information haha.

19. What's you're favorite fic you've written?

I can’t choose between my two darlings :( I mean, okay, technically it’s probably Important Thing. That story’s my baby. It’s huge and I’ve been working on it for almost 2 years, and I’ve poured a lot of my heart and soul into it. I’ve fallen in love with the universe I built in it, so much so that I wrote an entire prequel and have very concrete plans for a lengthy sequel. But I can’t not crow about Shoulder to Shoulder (the aforementioned prequel!), too... I’m just really proud of that one - it has a lot of firsts for me. First completed story. First romance-focused story. First foray into expanding the Important Thing universe. But yes, if I have to choose, then Important Thing wins. That’s a story that I started writing exclusively for myself - to give myself characters I could relate to and to explore a style of AoS fic that I loved reading - and that’s a story I will always and forever be proud of.

I think most people have probably answered this tag game at this point, so I don’t want to accidentally retag anyone! If you haven’t yet, and would like to join in, please do! This is your invitation <3

5 notes · View notes

pruinesce-a2 · 4 years

Text

META: TODOROKI FUYUMI + COMPLEX PTSD.

this meta is gonna probably going to heavily reference child abuse and domestic abuse, so please don’t read if you’re vulnerable to those topics. i used a read more but i don’t think they’re working. ON TO THE META

complex ptsd ( c-ptsd ) generally develops as a result of chronic trauma, over months or years, most often experience throughout childhood; it’s rare ( but definitely not unheard of ! ) that it will develop in an adult, because, as the article i’m going to pick apart states, “ when an adult experiences a traumatic event, they have more tools to understand what is happening to them, their place as a victim of that trauma, and know they should seek support even if they don't want to. children don't possess most of these skills, or even the ability to separate themselves from another's unconscionable actions. the psychological and developmental implications of that become complexly woven and spun into who that child believes themselves to be -- creating a messy web of core beliefs much harder to untangle than the flashbacks, nightmares and other posttraumatic symptoms that come later. ”

emotion regulation. “ survivors with c-ptsd have a very difficult time with emotions -- experiencing them, controlling them, and for many, just being able to comprehend or label them accurately. many have unmanaged or persistent sadness, either explosive or inaccessible anger [...] they may be chronically numb, lack the appropriate affect in certain situations, be unable to triage sudden changes in emotional content [...] it's also very common for these survivors to re-experience emotions from trauma intrusively - particularly when triggered. these feelings are often disproportionate to the present situation, but are equal to the intensity of what was required of them at the time of a trauma -- also known as an emotional flashback. ”

the first things that stand out to me here: fuyumi easily fits the criteria of unmanaged or persistent sadness, but what really catches my eye is the concept of inaccessible anger. the boys very clearly fall under explosive anger, but fuyumi ... is seemingly never angry. it's a common point of contention in many posts i’ve seen about her; that she’s not reacting the way she should as a victim of abuse, that she “undermines” her brothers’ trauma by wanting to forgive her father. first of all i shouldn’t have to remind the fandom that she, too, is a victim of that abuse but it’s also entirely untrue that she’s disregarding her brothers because she even canonically identifies that she feels the same way they do - she identifies that yes, she is angry, yes, she understands they’re well within their rights to be so. but unlike them, this anger is ... far away. fuyumi, physically, emotionally, cannot bring that anger to the front. it’s frustrating for her, too.

i also want to point out the last sentence in this point: emotional flashbacks + the phrase “ what was require of them at the time of a trauma. ” an important thing to note is that often times, throughout fuyumi’s experience with these events … she’s the level-headed one. she’s the calm one. she’s the one mediating. this isn’t a new behavior - in an effort to mitigate her father’s abuse, this calm, peaceful nature is what these traumatic events have required of her, and as such, when anything begins to show potential for going wrong, she reverts back to this behavior.

explosive anger + disproportionate intensities in a certain situation definitely apply to natsuo; see the way he gets so angry over seemingly minute comments. touya / dabi is just. all over the place w/ this one he’s in all of it

difficulty with self-perception. “ in its simplest form, how they see themselves versus how the rest of the world does can be brutally different. some may feel they carry or actually embody nothing but shame and shameful acts - that they are "bad". others believe themselves to be fundamentally helpless; they were let down by so many who could've stopped their abuse but didn't [...] many see themselves as responsible for what happened to them [...] and, countless others may feel defined by stigma, believe they are nothing more than their trauma, worry they're always in the way or a burden, or they may sense they're just completely and utterly different from anyone or anything around them - they are alien. startling as it is, all of these feelings and more can live inside someone whom, to you, seems like the most brilliant, competent, strong, and compassionate human being you know. ”

she holds herself partially responsible for her father’s abuse - this is ALSO outright stated as canon, as seen here and here. the idea of helplessness, and particular bringing in the idea of learned helplessness ( thank u @/unsighty for pointing that out ) is ALSO very important to note here ... note in the shifuku page she says, “ i couldn’t do anything for shouto. ” both fuyumi AND natsuo also probably struggle with the idea of being a burden ( that neglect says hello ! ) / being in the way, too.

i also really like this note about how these feelings can be present in someone labeled “ brilliant, competent, strong, and compassionate ” ... because that’s exactly what fuyumi is seen as.

interruptions in consciousness. “ some may forget traumatic events (even if they knew of them once before), relive them intrusively, recall traumatic material in a different chronological order, or other distressing experiences of what is called dissociation. dissociation is a symptom that exists on a spectrum, ranging anywhere from harmless daydreaming or temporarily "spacing out"; to more disruptive episodes of feeling disconnected from one's body or mental processes, not feeling real, or losing time; all the way to the most severe, which includes switching between self-states (or alters), as is seen in dissociative identity disorder. episodes of missing time can range anywhere from a few minutes, a couple days, or even large chunks of one's childhood. The larger gaps in time are typically only seen in did, but those with c-ptsd alone can still endure 'interruptions in consciousness' that result in memory gaps, poor recall, traumatic material that is completely inaccessible, or, conversely, re-experiencing trauma against their will (e.g. flashbacks, intrusive images, body memories, etc.). ”

while this is definitely a symptom we see more of in shouto ( my boy is dissociating 24/7 ) , fuyumi experiences it sometimes as well. memory gaps, poor recall, and particularly re-experiencing trauma applies to fuyumi here - i think by and large she deals with intrusive imagery; i.e., while she’s in the kitchen, if she hears shouto nearby, or sometimes if she hears the kettle whistling / crying on the tv, she gets a flood of memories of shouto and her mother on the floor in the kitchen.

i think dabi can definitely be HEAVILY attributed to the idea of these losses in time, disconnecttions and self-states - and like with fuyumi, he definitely experiences intrustive imagery. we see that here, i think.

difficulty with relationships. “ this refers more to a survivor's potential to feel completely isolated from peers and not even knowing how to engage, to harboring an outright refusal to trust anyone (or just not knowing why they ever should), trusting people way too easily (including those who are dangerous, due to a dulled sense of alarm), perpetually searching for a rescuer or to do the rescuing, seeking out friends and partners who are hurtful or abusive because it's the only thing that feels familiar, or even abruptly abandoning relationships that are going well for any number of reasons. ”

fuyumi, first of all, definitely struggles to know how to engage with her peers. she’s outgoing and clearly a people person - so it’s often a question why she’s so nervous and struggles to make relationships and ... well. here’s why.

i don’t think fuyumi outright refuses to trust anyone, but there is intense hesitance and unsureness, particular for certain groups of people: men, people who are much taller & bigger than her, people who have some kind of fire affinity / ability, and people who are loud. the idea of perpetually searching for a rescuer, or to do the rescuing ... while typically you might think she falls under the former ( and i think she does, in a way. fuyumi never talks about her trauma, but her concept of love ties into this - someone who can take her away from her father, someone who has the power to do that? someone who is unafraid of him, or someone that he has no hold over? yeah. looking @ kenta n nishiki w this one ), fuyumi also searches to do the rescuing. once again i’m referencing this page - “ she became a teacher to compensate the fact that she couldn’t protect her younger brother. ”

i’m also pointing at the “dulled sense of alarm” - in my canon, fuyumi, for example, went out and put herself in the way of danger and met with less than savory contacts in an attempt to find information on dabi, once she got the inkling he might be touya.

obviously shouto and natsuo also have this urge to rescue, and dabi doesn’t trust anyone.

the perception of one's perpetrators. “ this can be one of the most insidious battles for some survivors with c-ptsd -- even if it seems crystal clear to those on the outside. victims of such prolonged trauma may eventually surrender, assuming their abuser(s) total power over them, possibly even maintaining this belief once they're 'free'. "i'll always be under their thumb, they call all the shots, they may even know what's best for me more than i ever will." others may feel deep sadness or profound guilt at just the thought of leaving them - including long after they've successfully left, if they were able. some may remain transfixed by their abuser's charming side or the warm public persona that everyone loves; it may feel truly impossible to think ill of them. many hold a constant longing for their abusers to just love them - craving their praise well into adulthood, slaving away in their personal lives just to make them proud. alternatively, there are others who may obsess about them angrily, holding only hatred and disdain for them to the point of persistent bitterness and/or vengefulness. some can even stir desires to seek that revenge. (though, it should be clearly noted that it's not at all common for them to actually do so. It's more about the thoughts than the actions.)

many survivors can have a primary, more surface-layer set of thoughts and feelings about their perpetrator(s), particularly when asked. they may know what they're "supposed to say" or "supposed to feel", and then follow suit. but it's helpful to know that a collection of all these responses can, and often does, coexist within one person, vacillating between extremes underneath what's shown to the world or even to themselves. day to day, and year to year, their feelings may shift - and - what the survivor knows to be true intellectually versus what they feel emotionally may remain incongruent for a very long time. ”

OKAY SO. THAT’S A BIG ONE. THAT’S A LOT TO READ. but i think it’s very, very important to fuyumi’s reaction to her trauma, and also to the fandom misconceptions of her. fuyumi clearly is very attached to her father. there’s no denying that. and the particular sentences that stand out to me here are “some may remain transfixed by their abuser’s charming side or public persona” and “they know what they’re supposed to feel”. i’ve said continuously that her father being a hero, and one so well-known and praised at that, has HEAVILY affected her views of him ! as a child fuyumi conflagrated his public persona as the “real” him. she struggled with this...... idea that his violence + aggression were a kind of "fake" version of him - aka "that's not the real him", "he's not always like that", "he used to be a lot nicer", etc. etc. and it’s only as she got older that she moved away from this line of thinking, though she still catches herself with it now and then. and, of course, fuyumi only ever wanted his attention and praise. she worked tirelessly to please him, trying to get him to come to her skating competitions, getting top marks in school, attending todai, always having dinner on the table in spite of her obligations.

it’s also so important to note the second paragraph in this section. fuyumi knows she should be enraged, she should want nothing to do with him, but that’s just ... really difficult for her, i think, especially when unlike shouto and natsuo, she remains in that environment. so there’s this disconnect between her desire for his love + making him proud, to defend him, to make their family “whole” again vs. the knowledge that she shouldn’t want anything to do with him.

natsuo holds that persistent bitterness, and dabi definitely wants revenge so um. yes. next point

one's 'system of meanings'. “ of the many, many well-observed developmental disruptions those with c-ptsd face, one that many find to be the toughest to conquer [...] is what's referred to as one's 'system of meanings' ; an area that, after being subjected to such tumultuous trauma, can feel almost irreparable. what this criterion is referring to is the struggle to hold on to any kind of sustaining faith or belief that justice will ever be served to indiscretions of ethics and morality. these survivors' outlook on life and the world at large can be unfairly contorted, and understandably so.

they may doubt there is any goodness or kindness in the world that isn't selfish-hearted. they may worry they'll never find forgiveness. others may even believe they only came to this world to be hurt, so there can be no good coming for them. this level of hopelessness and despair, as well as these greater meanings assigned to their suffering, can fluctuate greatly over time. there may even come several years where things no longer feel so bleak or as though they were conned of a meaningful life. but, as more layers of trauma are processed in therapy, or new memories bubble to the surface, they may wrestle with it once more as new feelings strike a devastating chord inside their chest. this is a common experience for so many survivors, and can have lasting ramifications with each plunge. ”

this point is, clearly, much more extreme in her brothers. shouto’s aggravation at being reprimanded for breaking the law when it meant doing good; natsuo’s clear resentment of heroes; and this one is, of course, most prevalent in dabi. see: “ the struggle to hold on to any kind of sustaining faith or belief that justice will ever be served to indiscretions of ethics and morality, ” or “ they may doubt there is any goodness or kindness in the world that isn't selfish-hearted. they may worry they'll never find forgiveness. ” LIKE HELLO. the hatred of heroes, the idolization of stain. SCREAMS DABI

i think fuyumi’s ‘system of meanings’ is ... much less disturbed than her brothers’ ( COUGH DABI COUGH ), but there still is some disruption there. by and large, fuyumi still believes that the good in the world outweighs the bad - but the disruption in her belief is also going to be that the hero system is a falsity, it’s a sham, it’s glorified and she inherently dislikes the concept of heroism.

so anyway. i’m upset hbu

#✲ \ 𝚃𝙾 𝙸𝚂𝙼𝙴𝙽𝙴 ‚ meta.#head empty FUYUMI ONLY !!!#abuse //#child abuse //#domestic abuse //#ask to tag //#long post //

28 notes · View notes

procrastynol · 3 years

Text

I wasn’t tagged, but I’ll take the invitation from @theghostcaptain and just hop on the train to answer some questions about my writing. So, I guess thanks are in order? 😉❤️

AO3: @Procrastynol

Fandoms

Currently I’m trapped in the MDZS hell (focusing on songxiao, but pretty much everything else is also go, wangxian, 3zun, anything) with a side of SVSSS and FF7 (mainly tsengru and/or turks centric). I’m still working my way through the huge load of danmei, so maybe things like TGCF, 2HA or SPL will soon join the list.

Other things I can’t seem to let go of include FF15, Mass Effect, Dragon Age and a hint of Marvel and Star Wars. If you want to go really far back, you can add LotR and Hobbit to the pile.

Where You Post

You can find all of my fics on AO3 @Procrastynol

I rarely use tumblr anymore, mostly for keeping all the links to my fics organised in one place - and to read meta that will shred my poor heart. My main social media is Twitter, so if you want to yell at me, please go over there and feel free to do so.

Most Popular Multichap

None (so far). But I have something brewing for my songxiao gang, so I’ll just be a little tease and tell you to stay tuned for more until Summer 2021. 😉

Favourite Story You’ve Written So Far

Untethered (MDZS, songxiao, character study xxc)

That is my November/December/Christmas-procrastination baby, which started out as a midnight word vomit I wrote in a desperate attempt to find sleep. It only grew from there, and it has become my first deep dive into the character of Xiao Xingchen and the canon setting of MDZS. To this day, it just blows me away how well this story is received despite its length and the rather limited songxiao bubble. I’m really proud of what I did here, and it has been a while since I could say that about anything I have written.

Fic You Were Nervous to Post

Frostbloom Flowers (MDZS, modern songxiao, flowershop AU)

This was my absolute first fic for the fandom, and my second fic in total after the unexpected “success” of Conflict of Interest. I was so scared to get the characters or the setting wrong, even more so since this was a prompt fill for the songxiao Secret Santa event. It has done surprisingly well, so well actually, that I have turned this into a series that I will continue this February.

How You Choose Your Titles

They either come to me or the don’t. Really, there is almost nothing in between. Sometimes a poem, a line, a lyric, an image, SOMETHING sparks my imagination and the title is the first thing I have.

If it is the other way around, the idea usually revolves around a certain dialogue, scene, setting, etc. that I want to explore and I really struggle finding a title for it once the fic is finished. There are rare instances where a title comes to me simply while working on a fic, but mostly it’s hit or miss. If it is the latter, I usually sit in my room and decide to name stories after the first thing my eyes land on 5 minutes before posting them. 😅

Do You Outline

90% of times I do. Especially larger works or multichaps need an outline. I sometimes try to write non-chronologically, and I have a really hard time doing it, so the outline becomes my LIFELINE. It allows me to skip over parts I find hard and just put the famous [get there] in certain spaces, knowing I can come back later to flesh them out because the outline guides through this process.

For oneshots, I sometimes freestyle, but even then I usually write down a few lines for the scenes/dialogues I really want to include and put them in the corresponding order, so I have a goal to work towards to and don’t start meandering around.

I hate doing them, though, even though I largely depend on outlines.

Complete

All of my fics are complete at the moment, but I have two on-going series that I’m feeding with new entries in irregular intervals.

In Progress

I have some WIPS, but none of them are in the process of being published right now. But there are a few things I’m working on, so follow me to the next paragraph if you want more details on that. 😁

Coming Soon / Not Yet Started

Curiosity killed the Cat [WT] - which is a MDZS multichapter fic I have started working on last December. I really wanted to try writing a case fic for once, something more than just drama and romance (although drama and romance will still be very much part of this). Plotting a murder mystery is really new to me and sometimes exhausting, but so far I’m having a lot of fun doing it. I don’t want to spoil the details, but it will definitely focus on pre-canon songxiao and a mysterious haunting/murder they encounter during their travels.

Another thing would be the continuation of the Egret Flower series. Currently I’m finalising the second part, writing on part three and four has already begun. Part two will feature songxiao going on the date that has been teased in the first part, Frostbloom Flowers, and part three is currently giving me a hard time because I decided to include some wangxian - we’ll see how it goes.

I’m also trying to feed the Shinra fandom a bit, since it got me back into writing literally days before I got swept away by MDZS and danmei hell. But tsengru still holds a place in my heart, has done so for years, and so Conflict of Interest has now also been turned into a series, It’s me or the Dog, and the second part for this series is also outlined already and just waiting for me to flesh it out.

Upcoming Work You’re Most Excited About

Curiosity killed the Cat [WT], definitely. I have only ever finished one other multichap in my life, and I plan to complete this one before I start posting it, to feed my lovely songxiaoists in regular intervals (and to make sure this entire case fic works and does not go up in smoke halfway down). But since this involves so many new things for me at the same time, I’m equally excited and anxious to finish it and start posting it.

Tagging

Since I’m pretty much inactive on this platform I find it a bit hard to tag someone. I think @wangji-string might have something to offer, at least if they haven’t participated already (although if you don’t feel like doing this, please feel free to ignore me). I’ll just leave it open to the rest of you whoever read this and may find it interesting - if you want to do this, please, feel free to do it! 😉

#my writing #procrastynol speaks

7 notes · View notes

louandhazaf · 4 years

Photo

Happy Birthday to me! This year I want to celebrate all the incredible authors who have gifted me fics through the years. Please go give these fics some love! #piscesseason

Mercedes Boy by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) Larry, Explicit, 5374 words There's a surprise waiting at home for Louis after he finishes his day on the tracks at the Mercedes AMG Driving Experience. This was the first fic every written for me and it will always have a special place in my heart. For those who don't know, I am obsessed with "AMG Louis" because it's at the cross of loves of automotive sports and dirtbag Louis. And Lauren took that and made a super hot, super tender fic about fucking in a car. I love everything about it.

Cigarette in my left hand, whole world in my right hand by wearetheluckyones Tomlinshaw, Explicit, 5833 words Harry's had some really bad ideas before, starting with the time he got pissed and jumped into the Thames stark naked, but this might take the fucking cake. Offering up Louis as a viable option for a model for Nick's last photography project is ludicrous at best and a disaster waiting to happen at worst. I wanted to read some photographer!Nick and model!Louis and then I also got uni!Tomlinshaw and a nature walk and talks about flowers and a BUNNY and basically this is also very hot and very tender and I was THRILLED to recieve it.

You're my fault, my weakness by wearetheluckyones Tomlinshaw, Explicit, 2197 words It’s been six months since Nick’s project, and Christmas and Louis’s birthday are coming up fast. Louis’s invited Nick to his family’s place for the holidays, and Nick can’t help but be nervous. THEN THIS AUTHOR WROTE MORE IN THIS VERSE???? Like, HELLO, I am in love with everything.

Mixtape by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) Larry, General, 927 words From Find You Home, this is Louis' POV when they first leave home to drive to his family's house for Christmas. When I read Find You Home I was utter obsessed with the idea of Louis making Harry a mixtape full of songs with hidden meaning, that expressed everything he couldn't say to Harry, how much time and effort he'd put into the thing, and then when he gives it to Harry, Harry literally tosses it aside. My heart! It aches! How carelessly cruel of Harry! I wanted all of the angst of Louis Going Through It and I basically forced Lauren to write this for me. She's the best.

Can We Talk for a Moment? by lululawrence Larry, Not Rated, 15737 words It was widely known that alphas were never as common as betas or omegas. It is believed the reasoning for that was safety for their packs. Each pack could only have one Alpha, and in order to keep order and make sure there was no mistaking who was in power, once the successor had been named, other alphas would be forced out of the pack. The populations grew, as was to be expected with time and all manner of developments, and while the packs got larger and joined together, the number of alphas never increased. Harry didn’t care for the reasons behind the phenomenon. In the end, it didn’t really matter. All he knew was he was the only alpha within about a thousand mile radius, and he was a complete and total disappointment. Or the one where Harry is a shy, nerdy alpha, Louis is a loud omega punk, and there's more to both of them than their reputations. PUNK!LOUIS PUNK!LOUIS PUNK!LOUIS. BUT ALSO!!! OMEGA PUNK LOUIS AND NERDY ALPHA HARRY. WHAT MORE COULD A PERSON ASK FOR???

Fall Like Rain by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) Larry, General, 2473 words This is Harry's POV from the first day that he and Louis are at the beach house. You've read Don't Want Shelter, right? If not, what are you doing? Go read it! And then read all of the amazing other bits Lauren has written in the universe. I will always always always have a special little nook in my heart for these men.

Glitter Bomb by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) Larry, Teen, 7808 words After a spectacularly awful date, Harry decides a little petty revenge will make him feel better. Things don't work out quite the way he plans. What's better than sending a glitter bomb as a bit of revenge?? READING THIS FIC ABOUT THAT VERY CONCEPT. Of course, nothing goes as planned... and then it all works out in the end. Hilarious and Wonderful!!!

Be Mine, Little Valentine by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) Larry, Explicit, 7435 words Louis wants to find someone who'll love all of him. There's just one tiny complication. Uhhhhh, I love tiny penis fics. This one is incredible.

One Touch Is Never Enough by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) Larry, Explicit, 3853 words It’s been a rough year for Louis. First, he was turned into a werewolf, which hasn't been so bad, except that he didn't anticipate how it would affect his love life. Maybe it’d be easier to ignore if he wasn’t constantly bombarded by the sound of his two werewolf best friends getting it on in the next room. At least they were nice enough to give him a gift certificate for a massage. I still laugh out loud everytime I think of this fic. I mean, read that summary. OFC this fic is going to be so stellar.

Wine Not? by abrighteryellow, allwaswell16, catfishau (dinosaursmate), crinkle-eyed-boo (KimmieRocks), disgruntledkittenface, FallingLikeThis, jaerie, Justalittlelouislove, kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie), kiwikero, LadyLondonderry, Layne Faire (HisDarlin), lululawrence, momentofclarity, phdmama, QuickedWeen, Rearviewdreamer, red_special, SadaVeniren, someonethatsfunny, taggiecb Larry, Explicit, 20704 words Louis’ Wine Dive is a bar run by the people for the people. Wine Styles is a boutique tasting room that caters to a more highbrow clientele. When their worlds clash on a beautiful Charleston street, one of these owners may find that an ounce of pretension doesn’t stand a chance against a pound of perseverance. I am not great with emotions. Showing them or dealing with them. If I think too hard about this fic, I run the risk of tearing up. I don't know that I can every express how much it means to me that these amazing authors all came together to write me a fic. A really really wonderful fic. That is far more coheasive than it has any right to be. But my chest gets all funny and my eyes get all watery, so I'm just going to say that everyone should go read it. It means the world to me.

It's been a long, cold, lonely winter by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) Larry, Teen, 443 words Louis wants to catch the eye of his hot neighbor who's always looking at his phone. His grey sweatpants are his secret weapon. I wrote a little fic, and then Lauren was like I WANT TO WRITE THE ALTERNATE POV AND ALSO HERE ARE SOME GREY SWEATPANTS and whoooboooooy what a great combo that turned out to be!

All This Noise by musiclily88 Larry, Teen, 1733 words Here's how it begins DRUMMER!LOUIS DRUMMER!LOUIS DRUMMER!LOUIS WHY ARE THERE NOT MORE DRUMMER LOUIS FICS IN THIS FANDOM??? I posed that question and then this fic was written for me and my mind melted. I LOVE the concept of drummer Louis and this fic so totally delivers.

One Man's Ceiling Is Another Man's Floor by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) Maggie Rogers/Niall, Explicit, 3713 words Niall and Maggie come up with a way to get revenge on her annoying neighbors. HEH. GO READ THIS HET FIC ABOUT MAGGIE PEGGING NIALL. LIKE. GO. This does not have enough hits!

Heels Over Head by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) Larry, Explicit, 3455 words Louis Tomlinson returns from tour to find that his new next door neighbor doesn't realize his backyard is not completely private. You know what else I love in addition to tiny penis fics?? Lauren's butthole series. This one CRACKS ME UP. I'm going to send her a million more butthole prompts and make her write them as well.

Make Your Body Move Like Mine by Jiksa Larry & Gryles, Explicit, 9400 words He looks beautiful, otherworldly, strobe lights catching in his curls like rays of sunshine. Louis can’t look away. Or, the first time they meet. Prequel to You're A Universe. I do not have enough words to possibly explain how much I love Jx's fic, You're A Universe. So when we were talking and she said she had a prequel I all but begged her to let me read it. Even if she never posted it. I needed it. And she was so so gracious enough to let me read it. And it fills the perfect little backstory spot about Harry and Nick and who Louis was when he met Harry for the first time and just... UGH. Everything about it is perfect in every way. It's possible I had a little meltdown when I saw it was gifted to me when it was posted.

sad sex is... no by disgruntledkittenface Gryles, Not Rated, 2430 words “Hey, are you…” As he hesitates, a line appearing between his furrowed eyebrows and a pout forming on his puffy pink lips, the words “don’t say it” run on a loop in Nick’s head, like a prayer. “... okay?” He said it. Fuck. A gryles AU based on Harry’s iconic quote from the Jools Holland interview. OH! Speaking of having meltdowns when seeing that ao3 email about a gift. I saw this, I saw the title, saw the author, and fully had to close my laptop and walk away because I knew it was going to be so overwhelmingly exactly what I wanted to read that I literally couldn't deal with it. (Um. Remember that not dealing well with emotions. This is an excellent example. I just... shut down when i saw it because I was so overwhelmed.) This literally hits every single one of my buttons and is just so so beautifully written and I'm so so very lucky to have friends like this.

#kingsofeverything #disgruntledkittenface #jiksax #musiclily #lululawrence #the whole freaking gc #i love you all #anyway hbd to me!

117 notes · View notes

beebrainedstudios · 3 years

Photo

NOTE: I know I posted this before, but I wanted to make a new post for it, as a) I’m working on Emira now so it would fit to have them posted close to each other, and b) I don’t think the previous post showed up in tags even when reblogged (I tried, then deleted it when it didn’t work). I also finished the Steel Prince comics, so my opinions have changed a bit (I still think he’s very well-written no matter how angry he makes me, especially with the context of the comics, but he’s definitely made some mistakes, and Maxim, no wonder Antari have a problem with you). So, I’m copy-pasting the original post+tags with minor edits in the hopes it works this time; apologies for the repeat everyone!

BTW I know this character is generally disliked by the fandom; that’s totally cool, he’s not my favorite either. But I do think he’s interesting, so with the headcanons below I tried to extrapolate/explain (not excuse!) some of his actions. If you disagree/think I’m reading too far into it/think I missed something, PLEASE take all of this with a grain of salt.

Copy-Pasted Stuff:

Next up for the refs, Maxim! A complicated design for a complicated man. My opinions on Maxim went from love to hate to “I wish you knew what you were doing;” he’s a really fun character, especially with the context of the Steel Prince comics. That being said, just like with the Danes I’ll be including design notes and headcanons under the cut, which may include spoilers for the comics; ergo POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOR STEEL PRINCE. You have been warned. Also, my writing got really small on this ref, so I recommend clicking the image if you want to read the ref notes.

Anyways, on to Maxim!

- First up, hair. Maxim has a multitude of locks that all vary in length; he grew them out after he took the throne and has barely cut them since. There’s no specific way Maxim likes his hair, as he’ll arrange it into various different styles depending on his mood. The gold rings are actually there to help with this process, as they allow him to move each lock individually with his magic when he’s putting it up. This variable ring structure has the added bonus of creating a cool rippling effect when his magic activates; when Maxim quite literally gets heated, his influence spreads to the rings and any other small metal objects in the area, allowing his locks to shift in the heated air in an effect Rhy jokingly refers to as a “solar flare.” Maxim’s mood can actually be gauged purely by how much his hair moves or how warm he is, which is a trait his family finds endearing even if he himself finds it mildly annoying- after all, it’s difficult to come off as calm and composed if everyone in your kingdom knows your hair will give away how ticked off you are.

- As for his outfit, I love the asymmetrical geometric aesthetic put forth in the comics for Red London royalty; naturally, I leaned hard into this aesthetic and then immediately hid it all behind overly-complicated armor. Maxim is a huge armor nerd- anything metal is his specialty, and he prides himself immensely on both his armor and his weapons. He got his armor early in his youth and fiercely maintained it throughout his life until he was as attached to it as Kell was to his coat; he likes to swap parts around from multiple sets to create new looks. This is considered light armor for Maxim- at minimum he’ll have his crown and breastplate on. It’s very rare to catch him without any gear, but on the rare occasion one does, they’ll find he has a very similar outfit to Rhy, especially from the waist down. Fun fact, both he and Rhy’s pants are based on fencing knickers (fencing uniform pants), since both myself and VE Schwab are fencers.

- Maxim has many scars from his time at the Blood Coast, including two nasty ones on his brow and nose. He used to be rather embarrassed by them until he met Emira, who loved his scars as a part of him and told him so constantly. Now, like his armor, they are a source of pride.

- Speaking of pride, Maxim takes a lot of it in how he looks, especially with his hair, eyes, and clothes. As such, Rhy learned most of his knowledge about maintaining his appearance from his father; the only thing Maxim couldn’t contribute to was Rhy’s hair care, as that is something his son has more in common with his mother. Maxim often wakes himself up by doing his hair and picking out his jewelry in the mornings, and if he’s feeling particularly bold he may even slip on some golden eyeshadow or a flashier necklace. Maxim has never mistaken the value of appearances in how someone feels about themselves either; he is liberal with compliments in the palace both to family and staff, as he knows someone does their best work when they feel happiest in their skin. He takes particular care to comment on Kell’s coat and hair, as he knows his adopted son’s appearance is a point of self-contention that he doesn’t want to foster.

- Maxim’s sword is like Kell’s coat; he carries it everywhere- even to social functions- and is unashamedly fond of it. It is essentially the larger version of the royal half-sword that Maxim can wield in either hand (he’s ambidextrous!) and can even change the style of; if he wishes for it to be a two-handed sword, he only has to stretch the grip with his magic. Maxim can heat it forge-hot without it melting; in this state it’s incredibly dangerous and can cut through almost anything. There are two easter eggs in the runes on the sword, if anyone wants to look close enough to find them!

- All of Maxim’s stuff is sun-themed as a half-callback to the Maresh symbol, which has given him the additional title of the “Molten Sun,” an affectionate term used by guards to refer to their commander-in-chief. Maxim is really close to his guards and treats them as extended family; after all, he used to be one of them. He knows most of them by name and is fiercely protective of them- anyone who tries to mess with his staff as a whole is due for a personal warning from the king to desist, which is best heeded if one doesn’t want to drink their meals for a week.

- As said on the ref, Maxim is big. He spends a lot of his free time training as a nervous habit, which regardless of effect on his psyche keeps him in tip-top shape at all times. He’s easily as tall as Holland and is one of the few people Kell must stand upright with to look in the eye. He’s also immensely strong; this man could probably bench-press three guards in full armor with Emira sitting on top. I’ve seen some people suggest Athos alone could win in a fight against him before- maybe its due to the state of my own design for said Dane (in summary, scrawny as heck), but the only way I can see that going down in a one-on-one confrontation is with Athos getting punted like an angry white football. Personal preference, I guess.

- Now for personality! Maxim is a lover and a fighter, beloved and seen by all in his kingdom as a ray of sunshine, especially after the stormy clouds of his father’s cold and strict reign. He is as kind as he is tall and spends a lot of his time helping citizens solve problems or simply drifting around the palace, ready to aide his staff in their jobs. He’s vibrant and animated, too; the palace is often stirred to life when the sun rises by Maxim’s “quiet” singing as he heads towards the kitchens. Little does everyone know, behind that cheery and loving facade is an incredibly calculating individual. Maxim was born and raised only to be the perfect war king by his father Nokil with little personal care or respect for Maxim’s wishes, and though Maxim vowed to never be like him, some of Nokil’s parenting still unfortunately rubbed off. Maxim is always watching for threats and prepping for battle, mentally, physically, and otherwise; a threat to him or his kingdom is constantly around the corner, as far as he’s concerned. He must have a plan at all times or else he gets anxious and defensive, and if he’s backed into a corner, he’ll choose a risky course of action over no action at all (ergo, the Osaron fight). Maxim may be deeply loving, but he can’t help but see people’s worth to the kingdom first; when he’s feeling stressed it takes real effort for him to step back and see people as people instead of pawns he’s trying to get across the board.

- As far as hobbies go, Maxim doesn’t spend much of his free time on himself; he’s a full-time father, king, and husband, which leaves little room for downtime. Most of what he has left over he devotes to training, courtesy of his father’s horrible “kingdom-first” mindset that has still scars his adulthood. Still, Maxim does have a few interests he fosters; he loves cartography (a trait he shares with Kell) and likes to make his own maps by hand. He also loves chess, music, and gem/metal geology- if Emira wasn’t already in charge of the kingdom’s finances Maxim would have spent it all on new gemstone inlays or gold decorations. He’s still a fun-loving man, even if he doesn’t know how to spend much time on himself.

- Maxim is a very caring father and husband; he loves his family to bits and is completely devoted to them, even if he sometimes royally slips up when things get difficult. He and Emira both believe in equally sharing parental duties, so he spent a good chunk of his time when Kell and Rhy were growing right beside them, guiding them along. Contrary to what one may think, Maxim was the parent Kell was always closest to; they could often be found together in the map room, Kell watching with fascination as Maxim carefully traced the lines of landmarks and geographical features, switching his quill between hands when one grew too tired. Meanwhile, when Rhy wanted to hang out with his father, they both would spar with wooden swords or play games like hide-and-seek or chess together. It was largely due to Maxim’s own poor father that Maxim was unable to properly communicate with Kell post-ADSOM; he simply assumed a little distance would do them both good, unaware that he was both continuing a cycle of neglect by repeating his father’s mistake and giving Kell the one thing he didn’t need (for those who don’t know, Nokil- Maxim’s dad- sent Maxim to the most dangerous part of the empire, the Blood Coast, because Maxim disobeyed him. Maxim emotionally did something very similar in AGOS by treating Kell coldly). Nonetheless, Maxim never stopped considering Kell a son and recognized his mistake; unfortunately, by the time he saw his error in the cells, he was in too deep to give Kell the freedom he needed and Kell was too angry to try and compromise until circumstances were more favorable. Maxim also never stood up for Kell against Emira; between his wife and his son, he always assumed Kell was the stronger of the two and would eventually stand up for himself. This, as we all know, turned out to be false, and Maxim regretted it for the rest of his life that he never tried to talk to Emira about her treatment of the second son of the Maresh family.

So yeah, sorry for the long wall of text! I really like Maxim as a character (even if I acknowledge he struggles badly as a parent) so I wanted to give him more depth and a design worthy of his complexity. I hope you enjoyed it; if anyone has any questions or comments I’d love to hear them!

5 notes · View notes

missyoutoosweetcheeks · 4 years

Text

Interview with a writer tag

Aka 'idk why I was tagged to do this YOLO' tag lmaooo

Aight. I was tagged by the very lovely, very cute @soldouthaz.

I am : confusion. Because, huh?? I'm a writer now. That's it. That's the post.

But thank you so much for tagging moi, Sarahhhhh <3 ⊂(´• ω •`⊂)

I think it's become apparent by now that this is the first I'm doing this lmao

This tag is so cool. I just read a bunch of other cool writers' answers and <3<3 Y'all are so COOL. Don't mind me :) Hehe. Here goes :

Name : Suha. My parents told me that it means star, but no. It comes from an Arabic word that means Forgotten One. A star in the Great Bear constellation is named Suha because its fooking forgotten help XDD

Fandom(s) : One Direction so far, but I'm a total weeb. I'm thinking about making a hybrid fic. Idk. Might expand later haha xx

Where I post : AO3 and Wattpad. As embarrassing as it may seem, I'm new to AO3. Love it better than that stupid orange platform tbh, but I have to admit I have a larger following on WP, and it's quite easier to interact with the readers on there. Meh.

Most popular one-shot : This trashy little thing (about just 1k I think lmao) I wrote called Heat. Everyone liked it better than the ones I actually put work into lmaooo (I cri). Okay but wbk our fandom's a hoe for abo fics so I get it. I get it bc same. Lol.

Most popular multichapter fic : The Blood Hounds :) It's filled with typos even if it says edited bc I'm blind, but it's my baby haha x It's got 161k reads on WP and 14k ish hits on AO3 so I'm pretty proud of it hehehe.

Fic I loved writing the most : The Blood Hounds, actually. I wrote it and posted chapter by chapter on WP so I made a lotta friends and the experience was awesome haha. Very different from AO3.

Fic I was nervous to post : Lovebugs. It's because I made a major writing style change to it, and now I'm procrastinating on ever giving it an update because nothing ever feels right, yknow? Ugh. #sadlifepremieres

How do I choose my titles ? It depends on what gave me the inspiration. Like, if it's a song name or a lyric, a specific word or theme, etc. So it's random lol.

Do I outline ? Somewhat. Like, the storyline will have a vague structure, the characters will have specific features or habits/behaviours, but the scenes that link the whole outline of the story depends on me writing at that moment lol.

Completed fics : 7 ! A chaptered disaster baby, and the others are smut one-shot practices yolo XD

WIP : 33. Don't even ask.

Coming soon : A bunch of things. Like. A bunch of things. I write new wips when I get writers block on another one and soso. So, when I figure out how to round them up, a few things will be coming out I suppose.

Prompts ? Not really ? I don't use them as much. But. The most recent one I'm working on, for the first time, is from a prompt hehe. Prompts are really nice to read, and I especially love seeing prompt posts that have a short story attached to it <3<3

Upcoming work I'm most excited about ? The weird Soulmates/Alien/Foreigner AU I'm working on hdbdbd lmaooo!! Idk how it's going to be received, but I'm having fun writing it. Playing with your writing style and usual genre is really nice.

Okay so. That was it. A word vomit as usual. Lmao. I'm pretty sure almost everyone's done this tag, but I tag : @ishiplarry78, @larryent, and @smittenwithlouis !!

My brain is currently fried because I studied till 3 am only for my dumb exams to get cancelled. So, if you've already done the tag/ don't wanna do the tag, ignore me please :))

This was fun to do, thank you for tagging me Sarahhhh <3<3 Heartss :)))

Have a great one!!

S♡

5 notes · View notes

ariadne-mouse · 3 years

Text

Fic Writer Questions

Tagged by @mithrilwren, thank you fren!!

Name: Ariadne (mousecookie on Ao3)

Fandom(s): Critical Role (which totally absorbed me after I started watching early this year), but prior to that, CW’s The Flash. My interests as a reader are much wider, but that’s for a different meme!

Where you post: Ao3 and Tumblr

Most Popular One Shot (by kudos) this year: Not surprised to find it’s the fluffy and indulgent Shadowgast fic, Creature Comforts. With the year we’ve had, I’ve gone back to comfort-read it myself a few times!

Most Popular One Shot (by kudos) overall: Still Creature Comforts. It’s easily eclipsed all my older Flash works (which had a smaller, if no less beloved audience) and remains the most popular CR fic as well.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter (by kudos) this year: Technically it’s my only multi-chapter, but - The Devil You Know, a Harrisco & Supernatural fusion. The remaining WIP is largely complete with one major overhaul to do, though it seems far away now that I’ve shifted so much to Critical Role. Maybe I’ll crack my knuckles and finish it one day... but regardless, at the time it taught me a lot about writing a story longer than little 3-5k bites. (Also, I was genuinely surprised to find I only posted it in Feb 2020 - that feels like legit a century ago! Pandemic, man.)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter (by kudos) overall: Same as above! The only one is, by default, the winner.

Favourite story you’ve written so far: Hands-down, it’s gotta be the delicate thing you prize so much, an Essek-centric Shadowgast. It got sparked by a random lore post on tumblr pointing out that drow can sleep, and therefore it’s totally possible for Essek to be taking depression naps while missing his new friends. I thought... hm, yes, and I wonder what Kryn sensibilities would have to say about that? Time to tuck into some angst. I really enjoyed diving into Essek’s backstory, doing worldbuilding, and thinking hard about what might have shaped him into the character we meet in canon.

Fic you were nervous to post: Probably tumblr snippets late in 2018 for The Flash, not because of any particular content, but because it was the first time I’d publicly posted anything since I was a wee tween with Lj/ffnet aspirations, oh, nearly two decades ago. I also had a little trepidation about I miss a feeling (that I've never had before), since it was my first foray into Critical Role and a large fandom still in its heyday.

How do you choose your titles?: I usually either make up titles from scratch by tossing around word spaghetti (with an unapologetic predilection for punnery), or choose a compelling line or phrase quoted from a poem (always cited in the notes at the end of the fic).

Do you outline?: These days, yes, if the work is anything longer than a few thousand words. But in the words of Captain Barbossa... they’re more like guidelines than actual rules.

Complete: 20 fics on Ao3, and a few snippets on Tumblr that were too small to make the jump or I otherwise neglected to transfer.

In-Progress: Oh gosh... uh... *shoves stack of WIPs and outlines out of sight that have definitely gone stale but I refuse to let go of* let’s say... three? That I’m actively - if perhaps not frequently - working on. I’ve got 1) an as-of-yet amorphous Shadowgast that I’ve decided to sit on until we get more info from the imminent canon reunion, 2) a canon divergence Widomauk arranged marriage AU, and 3) a Gen (probably) Marion & Yussa fic that is relaxing to work on because I’m not constantly stumbling over new canon each week.

Coming soon/not yet started: Nothing well-formed enough to mention. I’ve got tidbits and ideas percolating but many of them are waiting for a larger story to be part of.

Prompts?: Sometimes! I don’t generally do them ad hoc, but when I see a good prompt meme I’ll usually reblog it. Prompts are fun for warm-ups, breaks from longer WIPs, and writing bite sized snacks (or snacks that unexpectedly balloon into 13k oneshots, right @the-kaedageist? lolol)

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: They’re all too wibbly-wobbly for me to be super attached to one in particular at the moment!

Tagging: @bonitabreezy, @terrie01, and anyone else should you so desire!

#ask memes #writing #mouse #op

4 notes · View notes

inkformyblood · 3 years

Text

2020 (Fanfiction) In Review

I was tagged by @fontainebleau22 so thank you!! I’ve been in a handful fanfic competitions so the list of fics will be under a read more.

Takeaways from reflecting on your kick-ass writing, or kick-ass lack of writing, during a year more focused on survival than perhaps any other:

Hyper-fixation is a blessing and a curse. I’ve written a lot, but other parts of my life have not been as well tended. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished however. I’ve tried a fair few new fandoms and had a really great time.

Most surprising fic you wrote this year:

The Moment of Sunlight has surprised me the most because it’s my most popular fic ever. The Old Guard was unexpected but enjoyed a lot. I also wrote a Snily fic (very much not my cup of tea, for a friend, and that would have surprised past me).

How you grew as a writer this year:

I’m no longer nervous when I’m posting a new fic or entering a new fandom. Very much a case of ‘fake it, til you make it’ and it’s worked. I’d like to think I’ve improved in my writing, but I’m happy with what I make and that’s what matters the most.

What’s coming in 2021:

Better organisation! I want to continue my partial Witcher! Jaskier series and work through the prompts in my inbox (sorry to anyone who sent something, I will work on them). I am going to try and find a better balance of hobbies.

I will tag anyone who wants to give this a shot! It was a lot of fun to look back over the year.

Fics written this year (143 in total!!) beneath the cut:

The Magnificent Seven (36 fics)

Not To Me, Not If It’s You (5011 words)

Ride For Me (797 words)

Love For You Is Larger Than Usual (901 words)

Made My Other Loves Irrelevant (937 words)

Taking Everything You’re Given (1263 words)

Kill The Lights And Kiss My Eyes (1256 words)

Searching For You (1049 words)

I’m Still Undone, Not Quite Young (1306 words)

If I Had The Choice (1188 words)

Rest My Head At Night Content (1304 words)

From The Way We Said Goodbye (2777 words)

While Searching For A Pocket Full of Gold (4594 words)

So For Now A Last Farewell (3430 words)

What It Is You Plan To Do (747 words)

And There’s Still No Rest (4904 words)

Take What’s Broken (Make It Whole) (1095 words)

Let The World Come At You Love (1758 words)

Beggars Can’t Be Choosers (2915 words)

To Get Him Back (1287 words)

Notes Passing In The Night (988 words)

Grief is a Slow Moving Thing (871 words)

Something Wrong? (1654 words)

No Matter The Distance (1576 words)

Elgara Vallas, Da’len (1704 words)

Always A Surprise (1202 words)

It’s Always Been You (1517 words)

Pleasurable Distractions (1273 words)

Drive Me Crazy (906 words)

Words Fall Out Of My Mind (1051 words)

If It’s Not You (1255 words)

I’ve Put A Spell On You (974 words)

tell me what it’s like to burn (3371 words)

the handful of shadow i have brought back to you (3527 words)

more beautiful because we are doomed (3319 words)

day by day, night by night, we were together (2982 words)

in my eye no star like thee (3401 words)

The Witcher (11 fics)

A Moment of Sunlight (1128 words)

Wounded Heart (927 words)

Notice the Cracks (in my flawed heart) (960 words)

Important To Me (922 words)

Drink Your Fill of Light (950 words)

Cold Splintering, Breaking (650 words)

The Light is No Mystery (1403 words)

Sing Little Songbird (1809 words)

Just A Moment Longer (973 words)

I Know You In The Coming Of Spring (691 words)

Sacrifice It Gladly (805 words)

The Old Guard (24 fics)

There’s No Kingdom To Come (999 words)

Sweet On You (1261 words)

Steal My Breath Away (1000 words)

Lock In My Love (1000 words)

Boss Me Around (1000 words)

Of My Own Making (1000 words)

Run Away (1000 words)

Bend And Break (1000 words)

Just You And Me Against The World (1000 words)

You Don’t Know Me (1000 words)

Pay It Gladly (1000 words)

Dancing With Me (1000 words)

Who Would Cry Out (1000 words)

To Repair With Gold (1000 words)

Tossed Waters Have Settled (1000 words)

It Will Come Back (1000 words)

My Problem To Bear (1000 words)

These Ghosts Are Haunting Me (1000 words)

Shot In The Dark (1000 words)

Caged In Your Chest (1000 words)

Speak Their Name Over My Grave (1000 words)

I Found You (1000 words)

Baby It’s Cold Outside (1000 words)

Suffer For Your Sins (1000 words)

Star Wars (4 fics)

Any Other Suggestions (225 words)

Satisfactory Work (157 words)

Beautiful And Mine (153 words)

For You (215 words)

Six Underground (1 fic)

Haunted By Those Things Unseen (1373 words)

Discworld (1 fic)

Something So Precious About This (4199 words)

Dragon Age (2 fics)

Away With The Roses (490 words)

Paint Me In Your Likeness (478 words)

Harry Potter (49 fics)

Here We Go, Here We Go (800 words)

Being Here (3827 words)

Goes Before A Fall (801 words)

And I Would Drive Five Hundred Miles (1324 words)

Tell Me We’ll Never Get Used To It (1968 words)

Have The Spine To Carry (834 words)

Love at First Rememberance (2508 words)

Onward the Sailors Cry (848 words)

Waiting So Long My Love (838 words)

What Once Was Mine (2379 words)

I Couldn’t Say (2993 words)

How Many Years I Know I’ll Bear (881 words)

Of All the Comrades That E’er I Had (3105 words)

I Know Why, I Don’t Know When (2517 words)

To Linger Here (1944 words)

The Four Wives of Blaise Zabini (2954 words)

A Heaven of Hell (1054 words)

Tear off the Clouds of Darkness (1316 words)

To The Sea Which Held Me (1058 words)

What’s Proven Most Difficult (954 words)

Hold Onto Those Memories (1301 words)

love is just another leap of faith (2790 words)

But I’m Earning My Way (911 words)

Keep My Nature Secret (1001 words)

I’m Safe Here With You (1096 words)

Cause You’re All That’s Safe (950 words)

Your Love Was Unmoved (1234 words)

Holding You Closer (cause you are my heaven) (1962 words)

Meanwhile The World Goes On (1553 words)

Mere Monstrosity (1506 words)

Just Me And You (1017 words)

For A Moment With You (1188 words)

Midnight Mission (323 words)

Blow Us All Away (1146 words)

Like Where The Sea Meets Earth (952 words)

For Your Entertainment (1053 words)

The Clock Will Strike Midnight (1157 words)

Toil and Trouble (1047 words)

Full Fanthom Five (1911 words)

death comes for us all (1096 words)

All Work No Play (1083 words)

Split Second Decision (1157 words)

There Won’t Be Any End (1121 words)

The Rush Will Take You Away (1286 words)

Just Need Luck (1098 words)

Traditions (529 words)

My True Love Gave To Me chapters 1-3 (1401 words)

the heart has many doors (2555 words)

The Dawn Will Come (1222 words)

Fantastic Beasts (15 fics)

Where We End is Fate (2147 words)

We’re All Adrift Together (1722 words)

Run For All You Know That’s Coming (580 words)

I Could Damn Myself (2403 words)

The Time We Were Given Left For The World (1740 words)

A Bittersweet Struggle (416 words)

Wait, Did You Just Flirt With Me? (355 words)

On The Wind It Howls (1145 words)

Step Through The Door (489 words)

Not Known Because Not Looked For (1058 words)

With The Poise of a Cannonball (1038 words)

Sweet As Cherry Wine (405 words)

Making That Choice (1178 words)

Set Your Watch By (364 words)

Keep Going (1387 words)

#my writing #year in review #fanfic year in review #fanfic

3 notes · View notes

boltwrites · 4 years

Note

Ummmm any tips on how to start writing fanfics? I have ideas but I am worried nobody will like my ocs or my reader inserts.

ofc anon! i’ve actually been meaning to write a post directed towards people looking to start writing for the first time or for people who want to grow a blog similar to mine, so here are some tips! also i answered an ask about my writing process here if that interests you as well!

writing ocs

i’ve found that one of the most important parts of writing an oc is figuring out what their purpose is in the story. do you want to use the oc to give a character a partner? do you want to use them to flesh out a concept in canon that wasn’t talk about much? think about why you’re writing the oc, and build around that!

figure out your point of view. for example: are you going to ONLY follow the oc? is the oc the center of the story? or is the oc just a cog in a larger story? this will help you figure out how to navigate your oc story. for example, i initially started writing bittw in third person, with a more detached narrative surrounding Taro. then, i realized that since she interacts so much with the main characters, and since we already KNOW the krew’s story, that it would be more interesting to move into first person and see the story through Taro’s eyes

its ok if your oc is similar to some canon characters (because they have to have SOME similarities) but not exactly the same. for example, i knew that Taro can be pretty similar to Korra sometimes, so i made sure to distinguish her by making her a little bit more intense, and by giving her a backstory that was wildly different than Korra’s own backstory

if you can, give your character a life outside of the main story. what does your character do in their free time? do they have a job? where do they live? what are their relatives like?

give your oc powers relative to the universe they’ll be interacting in, or the story they’re a part of. for example, let’s say you’re writing for lok. if your story is just a romance, then it doesn’t matter if your oc is a good fighter or not, because your story is focused solely around a romantic plot. however, if your story extends beyond that and you want your oc to go on adventures with the krew, it would make more sense for your oc to be a powerful bender, a weapons specialist, or an inventor (like Varrick or Asami). however, creating a character who is basically an additional Avatar wouldn’t be advised, because then your character would be overpowered. match your character to your universe and genre - they can be powerful and special, so long as they are of a similar caliber as the main cast

writing x reader

the most important thing about writing x reader is not actually how you characterize reader, but how you characterize whatever character you are writing for

it’s always a good idea to come up with some general headcanons and post those before you jump into writing your x reader fanfics. re-watch or reread whatever it is that you’re going to be writing for (at least a couple episodes or chapters) in order to get a feel for the character, and then writing down your headcanons. figure out their personality - i find that people value a consistent character, so having a list of the character’s personality traits in romantic situations can help out a lot if you get stuck

reader, however, is a character you CAN change to suit your needs. don’t be afraid to switch up reader’s personality if the prompt calls for it. i’ve written really shy, quiet reader, and then turned around and written a very dominant, loud, and outgoing reader right after. dont be afraid to give your reader some personality, because you can just as easily write reader as the opposite for the next request

know your limits. if you won’t write nsfw, or you won’t write for a certain popular character, let your followers know beforehand. this is about you having fun, and if certain topics make you nervous or uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to say no

running a blog

if you want to run a blog similar to this one, i have some tips for that too!

USE READ MORES!!!! if you have the bulk of your story under a cut, it’s more likely to be reblogged (aka spread beyond just the tag you posted it under). put a summary or maybe the first paragraph above the cut, but put the rest of it under a read more. not only does this make it easier to scroll through your own blog, but it means that the content under the read more can be edited, even after it has been reblogged! that means if you made an embarrassing type, that it will be fixed even after it has already been reblogged!!

post in tags, and make sure your work shows up in the tags, and stays there! your work is guaranteed to show up in the first 5 tags on your post, so make it count. i’ve found that by using only five tags, your work shows up in the tags quicker, and stays there longer. adding a link within your post can cause a delay in it showing up in the tags, and in some cases will prevent it from reaching the tags altogether. being in the tags is important as a young blog, because it’s how you’ll get your work out to people who want to see it!

use the correct tags. while crossposting is ok in some instances (such as promoing an oc x character in the reader x character tag, or promoing closely associated characters in each other’s tags) flooding tags with unrelated content is seen as rude and may turn some people away. especially once you gain a decent following, try not to crosspost in unrelated tags as to not bog down content that is actually related to that character

keep a clean blog. a masterlist is a great idea, as if you have a pinned masterlist, new followers can easily go back through your catalogue of works and find something they enjoy

set up an info, rules, or faq page. even if you don’t have many rules, some people are nervous that they are going to request something you’re uncomfortable with writing. by having a rules page with a list of what you will and will not write, as well as how you will complete requests (ie: i complete headcanons quicker than fics, i usually write gender neutral reader) it can make your followers more at ease that their request won’t bother you

have fun! not all fandoms are big or active. sometimes you’re just going to be writing for yourself. before this blog, i wrote for a ship that has a grand total of maybe 50 fics in its ao3 tag. i didn’t get much interaction or support. sometimes you won’t get the support you expect, but that’s ok, so long as you’re writing for yourself and you’re enjoying what you do.

#asks #anon #Anonymous

5 notes · View notes

excessively-english-jd · 3 years

Text

Fic Writer Interview

Name(s): J.D.McCormick (except it’s J_D_McCormick because AO3 didn’t allow full stops)

Fandoms: Batman (mostly Batfam), Hellblazer, occasionally Jurassic Park and smatterings of various other things.

Where you post: AO3

Most popular one-shot (by kudos): An Exercise In Love. Cant go wrong with good dad!Bruce and cute Damian.

Overall (going with Hits): Watching and Being Watched which is... Dear Evan Hansen smut. Nice.

This year: York, a Hellblazer angst extravaganza.

Most Popular Multi-chap (also by kudos): I have a grand total of one multichapter fic because I’m bad at finishing them. It’s A Complex Relationship, a Jurassic Park/Jurassic World fic.

Overall: A Complex Relationship has been in the works since.... 2017, so you can see why I only have the one multichapter fic.

This year: I am planning what would have been a multichapter Hellblazer fic, but I’m bad at multichapters, so instead I’m thinking of making it a series. Is this the end of the multichap questions now?

Favorite story you’ve written so far: One that I’m proud of would still probably be A Grief That Can’t Be Spoken, but it’s from like... 2013 so it’s probably not as good as it could be. More recently, I also really like It’s War, Defend Yourself (With A Water Gun).

Fic you were nervous to post: I have a few Hetalia fics up that I was genuinely terrified to upload. I also tend to be a little nervous of my smut fics, but especially Sins Of The Father, which has some more taboo stuff in it. Still nervous just mentioning it tbh.

How do you choose your titles: Sometimes they come with the fic. Sometimes they’re meaningful quotes. Sometimes they’re whatever I could come up with after pulling my hair out at the last minute going “fuck I forgot I have to title this!!”

Do you outline: Not usually, though I’ve started a little bit now when I have larger plans. Usually I just fart something out when it comes to me.

Complete: 105

In progress: Just the one

Coming soon: A Hellblazer fic I really, really love.

Not started: Additional parts in a potential series for the above mentioned Hellblazer fic.

Prompts?: Occasionally, but I’ll never guarantee I can actually crank something out for a prompt.

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: The aforementioned Hellblazer fic. I’m just really excited about my Hellblazer stuff right now.

I’m counting myself as tagged my @lurkinglurkerwholurks, I’ll tag @camsthisky and @novangla and any other fic writers who may happen to follow me and see this!!

#my writing #fic writer #fic writer interview

1 note · View note

philalethistry · 4 years

Text

WELP my birthday month was a bit of a rollercoaster ride. I thought about the cons of posting this but I’d like to record it, so that future me can look back and, depending on how the future goes, either feel validated or be glad that this is over. Warning: discussion of crappy mental health.

TL;DR Breakdown results in will to live and fuck current events I have a recliner

I’m going to start with today, Sept. 1, and work back, for reasons.

Today I drove to a furniture thrift store. This doesn’t sound like much, but I A. hate driving, especially to new places, B. am already in a pretty anxious state, and C. I got lost because the road I wanted to turn on wasn’t marked, nor looked like a road rather than an alley, and so I somehow spent two hours trying to find one store. (At one point I had to stop and get something to eat because I had started shaking. The cashier watched me struggle to free two bills from my wallet and then declined the change I owed her to avoid making me retrieve that too. I wonder if she thought I was high...)

The important thing about what I did today, is I went out to find the store, and even when I did not find the store and ended up circling back to my street, instead of going home and having a sandwich and watching Youtube, I turned around again. I know it’s partially because of this video’s explanation of why one gets more nervous trying to do something a second time after procrastinating or running away from it, as I’d always pin the anxiety on my guilt, instead of a fear instinct which is more managable. But I’m going to give dopamine where dopamine is due and also say that my eventual victory was partially because of the newfound strength I have in the aftermath of the freak mental storm that enveloped the start of August.

I know that no one is doing “””okay””” right now, because of Everything, and that is nicely validating, because I am not okay either. But it’s dissonant, because I’d often follow the lead of neurotypicals and high-functioning depressives and anxious people when I’m in a bad way. If THEY say things aren’t as hopeless as I think they are, they probably aren’t! While that helped, it also downplayed my brain issues, and now that everyone has the same opinions on the State of Things, I realized I didn’t have any idea of how to confront the bad shit on my own, and neither does anyone else.

I’m technically still quarantining by refraining from making a lot of trips out and from getting a job, and so the murky pea-soup fogs of the future unsettle me. I was pretty chipper for the larger part of quarantine, as an introvert. Then one day, the thought suddenly occurred to me of the sheer amount of time I’ve spent in quarantine, how COVID isn’t receding from Arizona, how I had to quit the first job I’d gotten in the face of anxiety and depression, of how much of my future rests on the coming election, and most of all of how I have no idea what my future holds, of where I’ll be five or ten years down the line. “In the same place” and “Somewhere else” seem equally intimidating.

And then hormones struck.

I’ve had bad depressive episodes; I’ve had bad days of anxiety; I’ve had bad PMS; and then I’ve simply indulged unhealthy negativity. All of these, combined, made for a surreal and frightening experience. Emphasis on surreal. Also, contextually, emphasis on frightening, obviously. There were many feelings. Emphasis on everything.

My mental space may be a mess but I’ve never been too concerned with dwelling on life and death, even when faced with the latter. It’s never been a point of any interest to me; in the face of mortality I’m pretty good at giving importance to the present moment and to my internal values, like “science cool,” “mocha good” and “drawing fun.” In fact since childhood (third grade. Is this a normal third grader thing??) I’ve been a fan of cheerful nihilism, IE “There isn’t a secret meaning to the universe therefore I can give it any meaning I can make! Anything is possible, things are great!” I didn’t really grasp the concept behind existential dread, it sounded like something that happened to movie characters when the writers didn’t know how else to portray angst. Oh boy, do I have a new emotion I won’t be able to forget. My natural disaster of a brain supplied me, among everything I was already experiencing, three (3!!!) different categories of existential crisis. I had to look it up. And the weird thing about this Satan’s asscrack of an episode, is that while I’m prone to spiraling rumination, normally I can distract myself, because it’s still just me, thinking unhelpful thoughts. This time, these thoughts, the shittiest thoughts I’ve ever had the displeasure of producing, were automatic. I was not getting stuck pondering one bad topic; everything I saw became, in real time, entangled in the web of thought pattern in the most natural way. And it was LOUD.

Have you ever thought, “I’ll sit on the couch, the couch is comfy. The couch did not exist until a few years ago, its lack of existence had no impact on anything in any meaningful way, and when it turns to dust it will be forgotten.” Because I myself had a teensy bit of an inkling that maybe that ain’t normal. The thing is, I knew I was only feeling this way because, well, I Was Feeling That Way, it’s just the mood; but being stuck in isolation, and with everyone else also troubled by issues of the past, the present and the future, knowing that didn’t help.

I can remain in a depressive / anxious state for a little while, but the actual peaks only last at most a couple of hours. This was Mt. Everrest AND it lasted a week and a half. I was at the end of my rope a day in and had no idea what to do about it, so I tried to do everything. The physical present felt empty, so I tried to fill it with media, literature, art, walks, family time. Problem is, “anhedonia” - a symptom of depression where you don’t get dopamine boosts from activities - cuts pleasure out of these things, so nothing held my interest, let alone made me feel motivated or remotely better. Another symptom of depression, weirdly enough, is the feeling of disgust - I wasn’t conscious of this symptom until it was magnified. I felt completely and utterly repulsed by everything around me. I first thought it was the clutter, then the way the furniture was arranged, then I thought I’d been inside too long so I took walks in the neighborhood when nobody was out. The confusion came when I disliked the trees, grass, and fresh air too - I had to Google my feelings to find out what the heck was going on.

Which brings me to my bedroom. My room is littered with memorabalia, I’m sentimental so I have little shrines of items from the past and of things I value. Some childhood toys and a handful of old trinkets, shelves dedicated to Pokemon and Neil Gaiman’s work, some references to Chicago and Polish heritage. My unhappiness with the situations of the present, while strengthened to an totally unnecessary degree, weren’t all inaccurate - and in combination with anhedonia and disgust, and the way I’d integrated this memorabalia into my sense of self even though they aren’t really relevant to me anymore, I found that I really really didn’t like my past or reminders of it. In a shocking unpredicted turn of tables, I no longer wanted to uphold who I once was, because it isn’t who I am now, and it’s not who I want to be.

And the revulsion of the past and the uncertain emptiness of the present culminates in a future that I feared, another emotion booted up to eleven. There was a big need to make my future and remake myself. The only places left comfort could be found were ones I hadn’t yet looked. At the same time I became sad in a powerful but vague way and desperately lonely - this part was definitely all the feral hormones - and I became obsessed, for a little while, with making sure that, when quarantine ends, I would get my social life in order. I preemptively joined groups and clubs in my local area online, which I’m still going to make good on later but maybe not to the all-encompassing extent I had in my mind at the time. Also, career hunting. (Also also, to combat a lack of control, I wanted to get my own place - but with the economy like That, and my ass like This, big alone time while also being very poor and probably overworked is not the best of ideas.)

So. The freak episode ended. And I knew. Both during. And afterwards. That I Do Not Want That to Happen Again. To put it lightly. So now I’m trying to find an antidepressant that works for me. I’ve been medicated for three weeks now. Lower anxiety, not many mood swings, but still anhedonia, and the aftertaste of existential dread which will forever haunt me. I’m completely overhauling my bedroom, because it was messy anyway and has basically looked the same since forever which can’t be good for my mental health. So there’s going to be new bedsheets (chocolate), new curtains to kill sunlight because while I enjoy it outdoors it makes the room feel exposed since the window is groundlevel and faces the street, a whole ass recliner thrifted for only 20 bucks(!) to go in a brand new study corner along with a nice aggressively patterned brown rug, and finally the grody offwhite walls will be repainted a warm inviting brown that was named “spiced cinnamon.” No matter what happens, I look forward to spending the winter in the study, invoking a cozy comfort the Danes call “hygge,” and hopefully building my gallery or participating in my interests, including fandom, in another way. And, once my budget allows it, getting some fucking therapy, what the fuck.

#long post #weezy lost their mind for a little while #so that's where I been #but at least I have motivation now #funny how fear can lead to positive changes like that

1 note · View note