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hobbit-the-starfleet-padawan · 1 year

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Dincember 2022 - Day 3 Gloves

I was perusing my favourite Mandalorian blogs when I came upon this event (I've already missed a couple of days D:) so... here's an entry for day 3 :3 let's see if I can keep it up!

prompt list

CW: y/n is used, I usually don't do this so it might come off slightly awkward? I hope not. y/n is gender neutral. Din x Reader. I also haven't written anything for Din in ages so pardon if something feels a little off!

The Mandalorian had fallen from the sky. Literally. A mission had gone wrong, and he had crash-landed near your remote little farm. As you had patched him, the little green fellow watching intensely, almost protectively, the Mandalorian had awoken with a gasp, grasped your wrist to stop you from touching him – and then loosened his grip when he came to his senses.

You had not taken his helmet off. You were just patching him up the best you could through his armour.

“Relax…” You had whispered at him with a smile that showed no indication the Mandalorian’s grip had been harsh just seconds ago – dangerous even. “You’re hurt. Let me help you.”

It had been like a fever dream. Someone so beautiful looking down at him, helping him… Each time he awoke from dreamless darkness, you were there. If you weren’t checking up on him, then you were sitting by the warm fire with Grogu.

The kid had taken a liking to you.

The Mandalorian quickly did too.

The more he healed despite the lack of Banta spray you owned, the more he moved. Eventually, he joined you and Grogu by the fire too. Eventually, he even started helping out around the house to show his gratitude – to repay his debt.

It was a nice occurrence during the harsh winter months… which then turned even harsher which made sure that the Mandalorian went nowhere. You had little technical knowledge, and the ship had remained some distance away, crash-landed and still in the same derelict state it had been all those weeks ago when the Mandalorian had appeared.

Din couldn’t go out there in that awful, cold weather. He especially couldn’t go trapsing through a tall layer of snow with his bad leg and still bruised ribs.

So, he stayed. Not that he complained, nor did you.

He had, however, complained for the first time when the snow got too heavy for the roof of the kitchen. It bent, creaked and started leaking water when the hot air of inside started melting the snow slowly falling through the cracks.

It was bad, really.

But you knew what to do. This wasn’t your first winter.

“It won’t take long.”

“It’s freezing out there,” the Mandalorian complained, voice masked by his helmet. His secret identity had not been a hinderance in your developing relationship, which had skipped the friendship state and turned straight into the awkward but endearing ‘I am 99% sure I am in love with you but I am too shy to admit it’ stage.

“It won’t take long,” you repeated with a smile. You put on your thickest coat, boots, hat and scarf. Winter lasted a long time on this planet, hence why the farming was done inside in the adjacent cave connected to the house, not outside. Food was not the issue. The water leaking into the kitchen was.

“We can fix it from inside.”

You eyed him with a confused look. “I can handle this.”

It was unlike the Mandalorian to be this outspoken… actually, it was unlike him to say more than two sentences in a row at all. All you did was smile when he remained silent, defeated. You went to put a reassuring hand on his arm, aware he didn’t like being in control of his own safety, and aware that he, the gentleman, wanted to do the heavy lifting.

But he couldn’t. And he needed to accept that.

Grogu cooed from the side. You imagined he had voiced his agreement with you, and went to make a joke about that – when the kitchen’s ceiling gave off a loud roar in offense at being forgotten.

Hurrying toward the door, you realised you had little time to get the snow off and fix this mess before it all came caving in – but the Mandalorian stopped you before you reached the doorknob.

“Here.” He took off his gloves, showing the first bit of skin you had seen since his arrival there.

Truly, patching him up had been awful. You wondered what a mess you had made being so blind as to work through his armour.

He handed the gloves to you.

At your confusion, he said: “It’s cold.”

That was when you realised you hadn’t put on any gloves, and forgotten where they were at all, really… So you also couldn’t deny his sweet gesture, despite your shyness and geedy butterflies in stomach made you feel.

“Okay…” you only said, forgetting your manners. But it was alright, because the blush you presented to him was enough of a reward.

He also proceeded not to hand the gloves after all, but instead gently grasp your wrists once more and guide your fingers into the fabric. They were slightly too big, but that was alright…

Because you had felt the feeling of his fingers touch your bare skin, and now felt the warm embrace of his body heat around your hands.

You hurried outside, but couldn’t help but wonder whether the snow would melt away just by the sheer warmth this man put into your heart…

#dincember 2022 #din djarin x reader #din djarin #the mandalorian #star wars #reader insert #hobbit's dincember 2022 #fluff

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doctorgeekery · 4 months

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20 Questions For Writers

Thanks for the tag @sinvulkt!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 7 works.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

60,129. Wow, a lot more than I thought, especially since I am terrible about posting things I write.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Looking at my official statistics, apparently I have written the most for Marvel (4). Most of those are marvel crossovers with some sort.

However, Marvel is definitely NOT what I have written for the most. Back in middle school and high school, I wrote a lot of Harry Potter fanfiction and posted it on harrypotterfanfiction.com back when that still existed. I wrote two novel-length stories in addition to one-shots. If I were to add those to my AO3 stats, things would be very different.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. It's Nice Being an Avenger (2,331 kudos)

2. The Dark Knight and Gotham’s Prince: Our Sweethearts (1,070 kudos)

3. Just Call Me Lucifer, Love (778 Kudos)

4. Avenging with the Nine-Nine (475 Kudos)

5. Melting the Ice (78 Kudos)

The number one fic is a crossover of Netflix's Daredevil and the MCU Avengers. It wasn't too popular for about two years after I wrote it, but then after Charlie Cox as Matt Murdock/Daredevil appeared in Spider-Man: No Way Home, the popularity skyrocketed. I got at least ten kudos every day for about two months after that movie.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I do not get them terribly often so I try to remember to reply to all of them. Some of them I might forget to reply to and wait until a few months later, though.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I tend to usually post-humorous fic to AO3, so of what I have posted, the angstiest fic is probably "Harklin", which is set in the Star Wars High Republic. I usually end on a positive note. The darkest fic I've written - one I wrote in high school in which the main character committed suicide - had a somewhat uplifting last few sentences as the main character only committed suicide so she could be with the ghost she fell in love with.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have happy endings. "The Dark Knight and Gotham’s Prince: Our Sweethearts" is probably one of the happiest, though - I had a few commenters gushing about the happy ending.

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

Nope! I am glad. Sometimes people will point out minor corrections/mistakes, but that's not hate. And I'm glad they do it, because then I go back and fix it.

9. Do you write smut?

No. I read it sometimes, but I have no desire to write it.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Yes, I have a few crossovers posted - most notably the Marvel/Lucifer TV crossover and the Marvel/Brooklyn-99 crossover. It is interesting, since I rarely read crossovers, but I love to write them.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so? Never checked, but nobody has told me that it has been, soooooo.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Just hit this milestone a few years ago! Someone asked me if they could translate "The Dark Knight and Gotham’s Prince: Our Sweethearts" into Chinese, I said yes, and it is now posted as a translation of my fic. HUGE honor - the day it was posted I was grinning so much.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes, I co-wrote a one-shot once back when I was writing on harrypotterfanfiction.com. I literally just looked it up on wayback machine because I don't remember it well (looks like I published it in 2014), but it was for a challenge/competition thing with another randomly assigned author. We got along quite well and had a lot of fun!

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

When reading fanfiction, I tend to not read a lot of romance, and I don't write a lot of romance, either. I don't have a "this is 100% my favorite ship" that I am sure about, but the first one that popped into my brain when reading that question is Supercorp.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

"Avenging with the 99" - essentially, the cast of Brooklyn 99 teams up with some Avengers for their annual Halloween Heist. There's so much pranking and a lot of fun, but a) after a certain point, I struggled with where to take it and b) I know at one point I planned who was going to win... but it's been so long that I have forgotten.

In middle and high school, I planned out an entire seven book series for Albus Potter, Harry Potter's son. I completed the first two books (something I will always be proud of) and started writing the third while I was still editing the second book, but then I quit. I had outlines of plans for all seven of the books, which I know I still have somewhere. At this point, it has been so many years and I have fallen out with the Harry Potter fandom completely, so I know I will never go back to it.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

Dialogue. I love to write dialogue, as it comes so naturally to me. Easiest part of writing, by far.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

One, I hardly ever write. Most things I write I don't complete. But when it comes to writing itself, I am AWFUL at description. I can't describe locations, people, etc. If you see a fic of mine with a lot of description, know that it took me a painfully long time. Often when writing a first draft of something, I will say [insert description of place here later] because trying to describe things ruins my flow.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I have never done it, but I don't see why not. I think it depends how much - a few short phrases here or there would be awesome, but I don't think all of the dialogue should be in a different language than the rest of the fic.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Honestly, "The Dark Knight and Gotham’s Prince: Our Sweethearts" is one of my favorites to go back and re-read. I still laugh when I re-read it.

I will always be proud of the first fic I ever wrote, simply because it was novel-length (75K words) and I did an excellent job for a 13-15 year old. I would never want to re-read it now, though - I will probably cringe at it.

As for tagging... uh, I think @sinvulkt already tagged most people from our Star Wars discord, so I shall change fandoms and tag @starsandstormyseas. I will also tag @chaosgoblinhours because I love their Gutterworks series.

#long post #ask game #writing

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boyfrillish · 14 days

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I was tagged recently by @brainshock-alpha for twenty fic writers' questions — thanks! c: If anyone wants to answer them too, feel free to go ahead.

Alright, here we go!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

As of right now, 22. I had like, 80+ that I orphaned about a year and a half ago, but those shall be disregarded since they aren't linked to my account anymore and I did that for a reason, so...

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

According to my statistics, it's 22,139. I never expect that high of a number with how short my fics tend to be, haha

3. What fandoms do you write for?

That would be Pokémon, and recenly also started writing for FE💍Engage, though I have yet to post the fic I wrote (as of sending this, it still sits only in the notepad I scribbled it in and I have yet to type it on the computer lol). It'll be interesting to see how the rotation will go, because I don't usually tend to be multifandom when it comes to writing.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Lost and Found (Red/Blue) — 309 kudos

Scale my Heart (Brendan/Wally) — 193

The hero's hero (Brendan/Wally) — 131

Candy Apple (Kieran/Florian) — 101

Apology (Kieran/Florian) — 97

Again I am only counting what's actually linked to my account. Since all of these are pkmn, I contextualised by ship lol the first three are from 2014/2015 so the kudos accumulated over time. I'm still amazed the latter two got so many in just a few months.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I always try to, but sometimes it may take time... Really wish sometimes there was a way for writer's to give a kudos or some other silent reaction on comments on our fics, just so I can silently express my appreciation even when I don't currently have the spoons to respond.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I wrote some angst in the past but I wouldn't remember about a sad ending because I really prefer happy (or at least good enough) endings. I mostly write silly fluff, so lol If I'm Your Boy may count since there's a toneshift between the two POVs and it ends on the pining.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

My first instinct is to say "All of them" lmao when 99% of what I write is silly fluff, it's kind of tough to assign a "happiest"

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I know I've had at least some persons hate me/my fics, but that's in the past and I left that fandom behind so... in present times, not that I know of.

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

I did before, but the last one was years ago. Dunno when I might give it a try again.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

If it's like a "AU set in the universe of x other fandom" then yes, I guess I've done it before? But not like. full-scale crossovers where the cast of two or more things meet. At least, I don't think I ever did that lol

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I was asked about it, some years ago, but back then I was rather anxious and declined 🥲

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yup, though the last time that I can actively remember was many years ago. I used to do that with friends back in high school where either we'd pass around the paper every other sentence or we talk it out loud and then one of us wrote it down. That's the ones I remember haha. I'd be open to doing it again, now digitally.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I'm really not good at nailing down ONE singular all-time favourite in general because intense emotions/feelings are intense emotions/feelings, you know? And I can have them for multiple things all at once and in the same way (but different flavours). But for the sake of it, I'm going to say Hugh/Nate, considering they've been a major comfort OTP for a decade now and are also one of the ships I've written the most. Then there's HopVic which is the same tier of comfort OTP as Hugh/Nate for me and I wrote about as much of them. And as of recent, Alcryst/Alear♂ while I'm literally still in the middle of playing that game haha. Though the fact that I already started writing fic about them says a lot, because I never did for my favourite Awakening ships.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Uhh... I'm drawing a blank here. Because while I have some WIPs since summer 2022 that I have yet to finish, I wouldn't say they aren't like, "impossible" for me to finish? At least I'm telling myself that I am going to finish them one day or another lol well, I guess there's some WIPs from 2014... I guess those aren't going to happen anymore, maybe in a totally revamped way, but will that happen? Not currently likely

16. What are your writing strengths?

One thing you have to know about me is that I am really not good at knowing my own strengths (like really), but if there's one thing that I know I'm good at, it's eliciting emotions & giving comfort. It's what my own fics do for me, and enough people have told me so after reading, to be more confident about it not just being A Me Thing (because I write for my own comfort & fun and all that)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

...Everything else? :'D Jokes aside, I'm going to say just descriptions because I am not very poetic... Then there's that sometimes I struggle because of the fact that I'm writing in a foreign language, but I don't know if that quite counts here?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

This is a really nuanced topic with multiple angles and such, and I don't currently have the spoons to try to translate my thoughts into words 😅

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I'm pretty sure it was Pokémon back when I was a kid lol I didn't always write things down (and to this day too, a lot of visions stay in my head), but I've been imagining things in my head pretty much my whole life, and that's one of the first fandoms I can remember actually writing. And it became the one that I would always come back to writing through the years, even if not at every point of my life.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Again, I am not good at saying Just One Favourite lol it's all of them at any particular point of time and I still get excited even about stuff I wrote years back, so there's that. It's all of them (as long as I didn't leave the fandom behind me, that is).

#frillishtxt

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maglor-my-beloved · 6 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you so much for the tag, @thedaughterofshadows!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently visible 141, with the S&D fics it'll be, I think, 164!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

142,969

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Almost exclusively Silm with occasional LotR and Hobbit, one (unrevealed) Mr. Bliss fic, and one single Welcome to Night Vale fic for @gayfrogpolycule

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Flowerpot Incident

Home Through Shadows Journeying

So do our Minutes Hasten to their End

I promise you I'm not broken

Reunion

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try my best

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This Coming End - Celebrimbor's last letter to Elrond as Eregion falls.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hmm, I think the ending of Tend to the Flame is very sweet

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really - once got a rude comment telling me I should've posted all my 75 drabbles for the Drabble Duel in one fic (not even possible with the tag limit), but other than that everyone's been very nice so far!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! Mostly kinky, as I'm ace and vanilla sex scenes do absolutely nothing for me, and some of my favourite smut fics - both my own and other's - don't even have any "actual" sex in them

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I think my only actual crossover (not counting Hobbit/LotR/Silm/etc. as crossovers) is the unrevealed Silm/Mr. Bliss crossover, in which Fëanor meets the infamous Girabbit

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, though I do have one fic I'm hoping to one day translate into Ancient Greek, once my language skills are sufficient

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, though I'd like to some day.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I got into Elrond/Erestor a year ago and they haven't let me go since... Otherwise I'm mostly into obscure rarepairs that are nearly impossible to get into the same room together (current favourites involve Erestor/Maeglin and Míriel/Tar-Míriel)

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

That one Elrond/Erestor fic involving possessive Elrond, unrequited love on Gil-galad (for Elrond) and Glorfindel's (for Erestor) part, and possibly those two deciding to kiss about it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told I'm good at angst, but other than that I don't really know... (I'd love to know what others think, so if you've read my writing please tell me!)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

action scenes, scene transitions

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I'll throw in the occasional quenya (or sindarin) word, but no full sentences

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Tolkien

20. Favorite fic you've written?

In the Land of Fairies! it has fairytale vibes, poetry, a very sweet platonic Elrond & Gil-galad dynamic...

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amethystpath-writes · 3 years

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You’re Not A Villain

“I didn’t expect to ever see you again,” Villain’s voice bounced off every wall, making it impossible to know where exactly he was.

Hero swallowed, daring a step further into what she often referred to in her own mind as ‘my lure to Hell.’ “You say that every time.”

The voice seemed to dash to the right, even as Villain emerged from a hole in the cave straight across from Hero. “Because it’s true every time.” This wasn’t the first week the hero had been making these little visits.

Why would Hero return to such a dingy place? One where a man appeared as a beast- a heathen sent from only the universe knew where- to her. Villain was burdened with cruel appearances, being seen- always- as the worst possible image the viewer could imagine. Hero always saw a demon-ish looking creature in Villain; it made him want to ask her what the story behind such hideous monsters was. Him asking her would probably only freak her out more, though.

“So, why are you here again? This is the second time just this week. And I won’t even mention how many times last week.” Villain lifted his hand, attempting to rake it through his hair. He met a pair of horns half-way through the task. Grunting, and dropping his hands uselessly to his sides, he continued. “You should be running for your life at a random sighting of me. Instead, you deliberately walk yourself into my dome of isolation. It’s hard to run away in a cave, you know?”

“I know,” Hero squeaked, “but I- I…”

She did this every time- strutted in like she was made purely of confidence. Hero posed with it as she entered the largest ‘room’ of the cave, but her posture always fell when Villain’s voice echoed around her, when she realized she would be trapped with her greatest nightmares.

Why, Villain had to question again. Why does she keep coming back? He was a horror, a creature which caused the most deeply rooted trembles and speediest beating hearts. There were enough times that he made his visitors pass out from fear. It took some getting used to- frightening people to their near deaths.

Villain was a man once- and he was one now…just not to everyone else.

When Villain was alone in his cave, he was the greatest version of himself- gloriously human. One with curly locks and straight teeth from those braces he wore back in junior high. One with the heaviest pocketed dimples and freckles on his nose. One who was average in height, but strong from all the lonely workouts. He was regular, normal, average…but it was better than anything he could ever wish for when his reality now was so…so cursed.

Hero flinched, undoubtedly seeing something new sprout from Villain as her nightmarish imagination ran untamed. The last time she visited the cave, Villain felt a heavy weight on his shoulders.

Wings. It had been leathery bat wings- like something from Hell. Villain would have liked to fly with those wings had they not disappeared as soon as Hero turned her back on him.

Now, however, Villain was presented with something different. “My horns are on fire?” he guessed, as his head had become warm, to which Hero confirmed with a fast nod. “Lovely. You might like to make me fire-proof in that mind of yours, then, yeah?”

“I don’t- I don’t know if I can.”

Heaving a sigh, Villain took a seat on a large rock on the ground- could it be considered a boulder if he were tall enough to sit on it without having to climb? “You’re afraid it would make me invincible? Afraid I’d attack you without pause?”

“No.”

But she was. Villain knew Hero was or else she would have cooperated the moment he asked.

“Give me lead feet if you’re that afraid. My scalp is burning.”

“You’re hard- hard to talk to,” Hero said. At least she was able to get a grip on herself enough that Villain’s head slowly began to cool off.

“And yet you keep returning.”

“Because I’m a hero.”

“I suppose that makes me a villain.”

Her response was to take the teeniest step forward. Villain could see her foot shaking even as it just barely left the ground.

He was the cause of that tremble, and many others.

He couldn’t help it, though, and that’s what killed him. Villain didn’t want to be like this. If he had any choice in the matter, he’d be as average as anyone- below average even- if only it meant being loved, cherished, and- and cared for. This…this demonic presence that he lived as around others…it was painful- not just physically, but mentally as well.

“You’re not a villain,” Hero said, inching forward another frightened step.

Villain sat nearly perched on his rock-boulder, watching with an inclined chin and squinted eyes. What was Hero doing? “If I weren’t, you wouldn’t be so scared, nor would anyone else be. I’m a monster.” His voice wasn’t broken- as much as he felt that trait on the inside. Villain trained himself long ago to remain numb on the outside, to encase himself in a shell that screamed ‘self-preserved.’

Hero said, “I’m showing you that you’re not a villain.”

She was getting closer. Oh. Oh, Villain didn’t like this. No one ever got this close to him- even if it were in as slow steps as Hero was taking now. This wasn’t- this- “What are you doing?” The numb Villain worked so hard to achieve was crumbling to pieces the closer Hero got. Was he…was he shaking? “Step back, Hero. This isn’t a game. I could- I could hurt you. You should run and you know it. You want to run. I’m- I’m scary and I’m a monster.”

“Who told you that?” Why was Hero’s voice gaining more courage whereas Villain’s might as well have been a holey rag in the rain above someone’s head?

This isn’t right. This isn’t right.

“Who told you that you were a monster, Villain?”

He squeezed his eyes shut. No. No, she shouldn’t be this close. I’m a monster. I’m a monster.

“Who?” Hero pressed again, and this time…she laid a hand on Villain’s shoulder- on Villain’s bare shoulder. Taking a deep breath, Hero told the man beneath her hand, “You’re no monster to me, Villain. You don’t have to be a monster to anyone.”

Ever-so-slowly, Villain’s eyes blinked open. The first thing he saw was the veiny arm extending out from Hero. She was still nervous, but…but- “You’re touching me.” His voice was an exasperated and disbelieving whisper. “You’re touching me,” Villain said again- this time with an astonished chuckle. “They said this would never happen. Said I’d be alone and starving- craving what I can never have.” His eyes met Hero’s. “Do I…do I still have horns?”

The question of ‘Who-dunnit’ no longer mattered. “No, Villain. The horns are gone.”

What happened in the next moment likely shocked them both, though Hero’s might have been in more fright than surprise…Villain pulled his saviour close, nose tucked into her neck, tears flowing freely down his cheek and onto Hero’s back.

See, Hero was still afraid- and she always would be. But the fear was worth it to make Villain human, to make him see that he wasn’t a monster, for it isn’t the skin of the man which makes him a beast, but the absence of morality. It is only when moral judgement is vacant that Man can be considered Animal.

******

Part two here

#NOT A PROMPT #request fill #this one has been in the ask box for a hot minute and I was so happy to finally sit down and write it!!#Wrote it at like 2am but apparently my hotspot doesn't work anymore so...you guys get to see it now #You're Not A Villain #Those last two sentences are some of my favourites that I've written.#For it isn't the skin of a man which makes him a beast...but the absence of morality.#It is only when moral judgement is vacant that Man can be considered Animal.#Look at me going all Mark Twain on you folks.#anyways. tags.#hero x villain #enemies to lovers #ish?#demon x angel #angel x demon #again- ish?#hero x villain story #hero x villain snippet #hero x villain drabble #curse #cursed villain #that was actually a preexisting tag- nice. To be fair- it was probably me who used that tag before...shrugs...#I'm pretty proud of this one guys. It turned out really well for being written at 2am.#Since that one nonny asked...#1261 words #This is the typical length of snippets but I've been having to write on Tumblr- which doesn't have a word count.#In other words- I suck at estimating haha

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llfreude · 2 years

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For my unique friend @gotterfunkchen, on this unique day.

He gets up from his favourite chair, leaves his empty plate aside and softly pulls out his handkerchief to wipe his mouth.

He looks at me then, and I smile, because he is reaching into the wide pockets of his blue dressing gown to find our notebook. I wish I could look at his face but my eyes drop on his hands while he writes as they always do. The pen moves in andante, and he takes time to blow on the ink before he hands the book over to me, so he's in a good mood.

Well, it is true, it has been a good day.

He woke up hungry, he always does, but today we had leftover apple pie and the coffee was just right. We took a walk through the fields to Döbling and back, where I remembered to wait for him before we crossed that unsteady bridge he doesn't like. He has scribbled five tunes along the way, which is half as much as the usual, but back home, he wrote three more, and he said he could finish his Quartet with that.

He asked me to play something then, and I refused again, because I render dynamics wrong by now, but he promised me he'd enjoy it. I believed him. If anyone can still understand what's left of my playing, it's him. I only ever play for him anyways.

I played four Veränderungen, his favourite among those I slammed at Diabelli's face last year, and I know the Streicher is loud now with this echo dome in metal, but he listened to it all with a quiet, beautiful grin.

He kissed my cheek afterwards. I felt like a genius.

I went out and bought almond biscuits while he rested, and he ate them after dinner. I insisted he took them all because I enjoy them more if he eats them than if I do, and he did. He cleared the whole plate, and I relished in his delight. He hummed in C. I cannot hear, but I remember the exact sound he makes when he has those biscuits. I have written a small fugue around it back then, on a drunken night, and it made him laugh.

I take the notebook. I love his writing.

There's a 'g' that I like, but I try not to stare at it and read his whole sentence instead.

' I need to get prepared now ', he has written, and I frown, feeling cold all of a sudden.

He's leaving early. The only watch I own is somewhere in that drawer but I know he's at least two hours earlier than usual.

My stomach hurts.

I get up and go to that heap of memos I should order someday, spread the whole lot on the piano and read each one of them. Some papers are months old, most of them irrelevant, now where is that note. My head hurts too.

It's there, at the back of that bagatelle in D, and I know that date is today, because rent was due two days ago, and rent is due on the 29th.

It is today, and I forgot again.

I've been biting my lips. I think I'm bleeding. I deserve it. I can't do anything right. He was upset when I forgot last year, and he was upset the year before. I had promised I would make a note then pin it somewhere, but there's always such a mess on the piano, note upon note in layers and layers of things I shouldn't forget.

I try to look around, but I can't. My eyes are on the floor, because there's an ink stain there, one he made five months ago as he wrote that fugue so fast he almost fell sick and knocked the ink-pot over with his elbow.

He pats on my shoulder, showing me the notebook, trying to catch my eyes. He's worried now, and it's my fault. I can't do anything right. I have nothing to give him, there's no food left in the house, nothing I own that he could use, and I can't even write him a song.

I am not like him, he is a spark and I am but embers. It takes me weeks to write a song.

I think I'm crying. He must be upset. I deserve it.

He must leave early because his friends have planned a celebration for his birthday, as they are decent people, not old deaf fools like me.

He touches my forehead, I know he's begging me to speak, but I can't, so he growls in irritation and leans over towards the note on the back of the score. I think he understands, and I lower my head.

But instead of showing anger, he takes back the notebook, bars his previous writing and adds a new one, a long one, allegro, with quick lines and swift curves. My eyes find his hand as they always do, and I wait, fascinated as I always am, so when he simply flips the notebook around, I can read him in a second.

'It's all right, Ludwig. ' He has written. 'I know keeping track of time is difficult for you. Please, don't torture yourself, I had a wonderful day, and I had it because of you. I have a lot of wonderful days in fact. I have a home to come back to, I have care, I have music, I have reasons to be inspired every single hour, and I have them because of you.'

I think I take the notebook from him and set it aside before I even read the last words.

I need his hand real bad. I reach out for it, groping blindly because my eyes are on that stain again, and pull it tight against my heart.

I make him feel every hammering beat, every scattered breath of mine, and I wrestle my own mind so I could at least whisper something before he leaves.

“I love you.” I croak.

I have nothing to offer him today, except this.

His fingers twitch on my chest. He slowly leans aside and our eyes meet at last. His glasses are foggy. He's young and handsome, he shouldn't be here with me, but he mouths, with infinite care, those words he'd be wiser never to write, and I know them, I know them by heart. I hear them in his voice, inside my head, because he has once breathed them into my ear, long ago, before fate, before silence.

And this tune, largo, G-F-G, I never forgot.

I let him go and change clothes. I let him go, knowing he'd return, because he lives here by now. He's the other half of me, the other half of music, and whatever my mistakes, whatever my flaws, like the tide of the deep, wild ocean he is, he will always come back to me.

#Spoils for my Bean #franz schubert #ludwig van beethoven #Mushwolf musings #Bubble content #Now i'm done spoiling you

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anonymous-swiftie · 3 years

Text

If you are on twitter, please retweet this:

https://twitter.com/ASwiftie00/status/1334245577933148164?s=19

Dear #Swifties,

I'm new on tumblr, and I really don't know how to use it.

I know you are the best supporters of the music industry and I'm here to ask your help.

I'm fighting with a crippling depression, that due this covid situation just got worse.

I'm at my lowest, I truly don't know if I will make it through this time.

I always dreamed to talk to Taylor, since I was a teenager. She is the only one that make me feel like I do fit in this world.

I've created this account because I know she is very active here, and I'm trying to reach her with this part of my story.

You can read everything below.

I didn't write any personal information because I don't want this to be seen by my family or somebody that can recognise me.

I don't want upset anyone.

I know that everyone hope to meet or chat with her, and so you are probably wondering why you have to share this here.

You're totally right, maybe it's a stupid idea to ask you this, but I haven't anything left in my pocket to fight this situation, and you're my only hope right now.

Thank you.

#taylor #swift

*******************************************

Dear Taylor,

I keep writing and deleting this, over and over again.

I feel so dumb to write my personal story here, but this truly is my last chance to feel better and try to overcome this giant monster called depression.

I genuinly don't know if I can make it through this year. It's the worst period of my entire life and i don't even know if it's worth living this hell anymore.

I know you have millions of supporters (that probably write you every single day, and they are all better fans than I am, that's for sure) but I know that you proved, time after time, to be so down to earth and to use your time to read your fans messages.. so, in this moment, I'm just trying to share a part of my story with you.

You are the one that make feel understood, since I was like 13teen.

I'm so sorry if my English isn't very good but I'll do my best.

I'm not very active on social media , because I'm very shy when I have to talk about myself.. but If this could work, I must do it.

I will try to send a letter, If I can find the strength to mark this feeling on paper.

**IF I'M WRITING TO SOMEBODY FROM HER STAFF, PLEASE JUST LET THIS MESSAGE REACH TAYLOR**

I'll try now to resume, because I don't want to bother you too much.

This has been a crazy year so far, and the all the time I spent by myself during the lockdown didn't help at all.

This situation brought me back to childhood.

I spent a lot of my days back and forth in hospitals, due to my allergies.

I had to wear a mask all the time I wanted to go outside to avoid severe allergic reaction (that's why this Covid thing awakened some hurting memories)

I didn't have real friends back then, 'cause I've spent most of the summers at home, watching other kids playing around, from my window, or from the windows of my classroom.

It was so hard to make new friends, because the only thing that other kids saw was my mask.

I was the masked kid.

I was the strange kid.

I couldn't play with them.

Everytime I tried to play with them, the only thing I heard was "oh you are ill , I don't wanna be like you so stay away".

This situation made me start to write things in my personal diary.

I wrote small sentences, as a kid, and that was the only thing I could do alone inside an empty classroom during all summer.

This situation continued for many years.

I wasn't the cool kid before, I wasn't the cool guy after.

The only things that let me enjoy those days were writing and listening to your songs.

I started to listen to your music thanks to my English teacher. She was a fan of folk and country music and she gave me a pic in which you were singing near a lake (I still have that photo somewhere, I strongly remember the white banner with your name written in red on it) and told me to listen to the cd she gave me that day.

I immediately fell in love (I think I still have a crush on you, I'm sorry).

I loved your album. I loved your voice. I loved the lyrics.

I remember having a "test" in school: each one of the class had to write their favourite lyrics and let the others guess the song.

If the someone guessed It, We could play the cd.

I chose Love Story and I translated it in Italian.

The class guessed the song, and I played it.

After the lunch break I went back to my desk and I saw some bullies that were breaking my cd-album and they started to laugh at me because I loved your music an I loved writing poems.

I was a boy so I was a loser because I enjoyed those things.

That felt terrible, but I continued to love your songs even more .

Those were my inspiration to write and to study english.

I felt so good when I listened to your album and this still happens.

Then I went to a private high-school.

Nothing changed, I still was the nerd guy that always got good grades and I have to say that the first year was quite good, but the second year was the start of the apocalypse.

I choose that school because two girls that I knew from childhood went there.

One of the cool new guys started to spread a fake "news" about me.

He said to everyone that I was the boyfriend of one of the two girls that I mentioned before.

So he was the cool guy and one of the girls believed him and told me to f*** myself.

The other girl was her best friend, so you could imagine by what happened next.

After 14 year spent together, I was nobody.

I didn't have "friends" in that class anymore.

I didn't say hello to anybody for 4 years, and nobody would say anything to me.

Nobody to talked with me.

That's great when you're a teenager.

I hated to wake up every morning.

I had an eating disorder, I lost like 22pounds in less than a month. Got hospitalized twice. I kept vomiting for 3 years, every single morning before school.

During that time I only talked with one of my cousins, who lived like 2 hours by car from me.

He was older than me but he always tried to help.

He knew that I loved to write poems so he started to give me guitar lessons.

I made it through a lot of things thanks to him.

I'm sorry, It's hard for me to write this part of the story.

I still get emotional when I think about this.

On the 10TH of December 2013 (some days after his birthday) we received a phone call from his mother: She warned us that he didn't return home after the last working shift.

I wrote a message to him like 3 hours prior to that phone call.

Never had the opportunity to get a reply again.

This year is the seventh year that he is missing.

That destroyed me.

I felt empty.

I felt like nothing couldn't help me.

I still feel that everytime I care about someone in my life, it will disappear someday.

This have happened several other times.

You know when ignorants say that men don't cry, is real bullshit. Men cry. I cried a lot.

I wrote so many poems , lyrics, thoughts in that period of time, that I destroyed my hands.

That was the only way to close my eyes and let me reach another reality because the real one was way too much for me.

Be a sensible man in this world is somehow a curse.

All these things made me afraid even to hug someone 'cause I feel I'm too ugly or just to scared to be refused.

I will stop here my story, but there's so much more to tell.

I make it through all of these things and memories because I keep dreaming that one day I could meet you and we could talk together.

Dreaming about the fact I could spend a day with you made me find the power to battle my depression.

I'm 25 now and this year I'm not dreaming anymore.

I was going to start again university, I wanted to get a degree in marketing and have the chance to live in the us.

For years I believed that I would make it and hopefully be part of your marketing team.

I'm so stupid. All these years I kept dreaming to avoid pain.

I wanted to pursue my passion and continue to write lyrics but all I was doing was putting myself in unrealistic realities.

This covid situation made everything clear.

When everyone had someone to facetime (or video call) I was alone.

When everyone had someone asking them "how are you?" I only had myself looking in the mirror saying: "Will I ever feel better?"

I've never been the one for anybody, and I think I'll never be.

I won't be the one among all your fans to realize his dream.

Nobody likes me, and I'm exposing myself once again just because I want the opportunity to smile at something that could happen to me.

I'm tired to smile only for others best moments.

I've always seen the sun through a window.

I want to feel happy.

I want to burn my face with the sun.

I'm so sick of hiding my pain,

sick to cry when I'm alone in my car before going to work,

sick to let my eyes rain on my pillow every night.

I'm sick to say to my mother that I'm fine, just because I don't want to make her feel bad.

It's not her fault.

She is battling with a degenerative autoimmune disease, why I should put other weight on her shoulders?

I didn't give up to my weakness before because I don't want to hurt her.

I always say to her that soon she will feel better, that's why your song It's stuck in my head.

But when she won't be here anymore, how I can go through all of that?

I don't even know if will ever get better for me.

Will this pain ever stop?

Sometimes it's so hard to live and so easy to die.

Hope that my dream to spend some time with you can become true.

Thank you for everything, you gave me the strength to go on for many years.. But this time is so hard to put on my armor and continue this battle.

But is this even worth if thy I try to surround myself with people and I always feel lonely?

@taylorswift @taylornation @jackleopards-thedolphinclub

#swifties #taylor swift #folkore #music #ts spoilers #lover taylor swift #taylornation #swiftified13 #day 13 #pop music #books and libraries #writers #history #musicians #quotes #loneliest #love taylor #hopes and dreams

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pompompurin1028 · 3 years

Note

Ok, I just finished "The Setting Sun" and wow I may have read a little too fast towards the end because I was so excited and eager to finish but I'm very much in awe of the whole novel. I hope you don't mind if I just put down my thoughts about it :')

Ig I should put a SPOILER WARNING and obviously, there's:

TW: Mentions of suicide

First off, my opinions of the main cast:

I honestly had very neutral feelings towards Naoji in the beginning but shortly after his suicide and his note to Kazuko I felt that I understood him a lot more. Maybe it was partly because the story took place in Kazuko's POV that I had a more discontented viewpoint of him but afterward I felt I understood him more as a person.

With Kazuko, I personally liked her character and the fact that she didn't seem like she was written to be the "perfect woman" like I've seen in some novels. She has flaws and I think her love for her mother is something I found interesting. Although towards the end, I felt that her love for Mr. Uehara sort of anchored her down.

Kazuko and Naoji's Mother was honestly my favorite character of the whole series. I adored her from start to finish. All the way from when she was first introduced she had a sophisticated and genuinely kind aura and when she died I honestly felt a little part of me die as well, haha. But her last line in the book: "It must have been a terrible rush for you" pulled my heartstrings a lot.

Secondly, I just wanted to ramble about some of my favorite quotes from the book lol

The first quote I highlighted was a line Kazuko says: "...The ones who die are always the gentle, sweet, and beautiful people." Which honestly felt so Dazai-like. In both the case of Dazai-sensei and the BSD version of him. There were so many times I wondered if it was the character speaking or Dazai-sensei himself adding himself into the character.

Another one I liked was "I wonder how it would be if I let go and yielded myself to depravity." I don't really have a comment on it, I just sort of liked it lol.

I highlighted so many in all honesty but I also wanted to point out this one: "The dying are beautiful, but to live, to survive--those things somehow seem hideous and contaminated with blood." Again, it just seemed so beautifully raw and just something I envision BSD Dazai saying and believing as well.

In Naoji's suicide note I almost felt as though it was coming from not just him but from Dazai-sensei as well. Which I'm beginning to see is a recurring pattern in the novel. In particular, this one line stood out to me: "Why must I go on living after what has happened? It's useless. I am going to die. I have a poison that kills without pain. I got it when I was a soldier and have kept it ever since."

I loved the Snake Metaphors(?) throughout the story. And especially Kazuko and Naoji's POV of their mother and how they call her "the last lady of Japan" I think they truly honor her and it's interesting to see such two somewhat lost and "tainted" characters almost obsess over this "light" and genuinely kind woman they hold in such high regard. It almost reminds me of BSD Dazai's opinion of Odasaku or even Atsushi.

That's mostly it- I just really wanted to talk about those things and overall I loved it a lot. It's been a while since I've been so absorbed in a book so reading it felt very relaxing and at the same time so riveting. I hope you don't mind me popping into your inbox and chattering on about this :')

Okay, before I begin, Ariel please don't apologize for putting down your thoughts here. I love discussing Dazai-sensei's novels, and I can't even begin to express how giddy, excited and overjoyed I am to receive this ask of yours. And please if you would ever like to discuss more of his works, feel free to chat with me as well, via asks or on discord it doesn't matter😭❤, I'm always down for it. And this whole thing is me rambling over this so please bear with me haha.

And, I want to say, I was extremely eager to read and finish the novel as well as I continued on reading. It is strangely alluring and compelling. And honestly, I tend to be in awe of Dazai-sensei's thoughts and writing as well😫💕.

Okay, so before I begin to address your thoughts on the novel. Let me write down some background information on the novel to hopefully give you maybe a better understanding of it and Dazai-sensei as well?

The book was published in 1947, not long after the end of the Second World War which ended in 1945. The book in general talks about the state of Japan after the Second World War, and the decline of the aristocracy that came with it. (It should be noted that Dazai-sensei came from an aristocratic background as well, but he also seems to have a sense of shame towards it). The title of the book is literally a metaphor for the decline of Japan. Japan is often known as the "land of the rising Sun", and therefore "The Setting Sun" as the title is fitting for this theme.

And well, this defeat created according to here (an article written in Chinese unfortunately😥) caused a great change in moral values in the Japanese society, which caused an uproar for democracy. Dazai-sensei, however, was quite critical of this, as he sees this as a sign that the Japanese do not feel any guilt or remorse for their actions in the war that took place. (From what I've read Dazai-sensei in his works is very much known for his sense, albeit unusual for Japanese writers from what I read, of guilt, remorse and in a sense seeking for atonement, in one of his prose he even wrote that he writes literature for "remorse, confession and reflection" [my translation from my native language]).

Also, it should be noted that The Setting Sun is also deeply inspired by a diary written by one of Dazai-sensei's lovers (especially chapters 1 to 5 I believe). However, Dazai-sensei himself is best known for his I-novels and their semi-biographical elements. In one of his short stories, or prose in his book I am reading, he confesses that he cannot write things he doesn't know or hadn't felt for himself...

Now onto your thoughts on the novel!

Naoji, I honestly felt the same about him at first, but the more I dove into the novel, especially in the chapters Moonflowers and his note to Kuzuko, I felt more connected to him. And when I read the novel I felt as though Dazai-sensei had actually reflected a part of himself in Naoji, and I read something from what @/bsd-bibliophile had said which confirmed that perhaps Naoji was in a sense an extension of Dazai-sensei himself. (Same for Mr. Uehara I should note, who is also an extension of Dazai-sensei, which I had also noted as well when reading the novel).

And yes! I loved Kuzuko as well, and I have to agree with your statement about her love for Mr. Uehara. I was somewhat disappointed with that as well. But I actually had just been reading on something today which is a bit interesting. However, I do not know enough on the topic yet, nor am I entirely confident at myself explaining it at the moment, but I will talk about it briefly down here.

CW Religious Mentions [Christianity] (Feel free to skip if it makes you uncomfortable <3 For this is simply for literature analysis uses)

Before I begin, I should note that Dazai-sensei is by no means a "religious person", many scholars do not believe so either. It was mentioned in a paper that he even holds a critical view of the Church. However, Dazai-sensei commonly mentions the Bible in well the prose of his that I am currently reading (which brought me to research this topic). It was written in some papers that I am reading that he simply understood the Bible through his own means and not what the Church says (perhaps he sees it as a piece of literature as well in a sense...). Some papers say that he formed his unique views of the need to find "atonement" for his own guilt due to this, which some say is not often seen in Japanese authors.

I'm getting off-topic, but what I'm trying to say is that some scholars say that that action by Kuzuko might've been an allusion in a sense. But what the paper was trying to say was that it was meant to be something powerful? But, personally, I'm not sure what I think of it, it might be a bit far-fetched. But I just wanted to make a note of it.

End of CW

And yes! I do agree I loved their mother as well. I loved how genuine and kind she was. I think she is my favourite too, but she also acted as a form of symbolism for the theme of the novel I believe, which I will talk about briefly later on.

"...The ones who die are always the gentle, sweet, and beautiful people."

I really liked this quote too actually! And yes, I can definitely see Dazai-sensei saying this... It is hard to tell which part is him confessing, but most of his work tends to have elements of his own feelings and thoughts. Personally, I think it might be Dazai-sensei himself speaking... But I'm not sure, but it should be noted that Dazai-sensei held the concept of "tenderness" in high esteem (other people have also mentioned it here).

And honestly, I get what you mean when you say you don't know what to say about it haha. Sometimes authors just put sentences and words together so beautifully.

And yes, I definitely understand that! I felt that as well, and as I said, Dazai-sensei seems to have put elements of himself into Naoji...

And ahh the snake metaphor! I read on it a bit before, and some say that it might've been symbolizing the decline of Japan/the aristocracy. And the use of the term "the last lady of Japan" seems to symbolize the fall of the old traditions of Japan. It had seemed to me that their mother was a symbol of the "old Japan" that had fallen after the war.

And yes, they do hold her in very high esteem! I wrote that in my analysis as well before! From what I have read, Dazai-sensei does seem to hold such people highly, especially those that are honest and genuine it seems. And yes, exactly, it reminds me of BSD Dazai as well T^T.

And please, thank you for coming over to chat with me about it haha. You could probably tell by how long this is how excited I am about such topics😅. Don't hesitate to come by if you want to chat more! And I'm also really glad that you liked the book as well <33

#asks💌#Ariel🍄#kat rambles about dazai sensei #kat's dazai brainrot

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strongsassysexysloane · 3 years

Text

Seventh Day of Twelve - A Soundtrack to your Curious Mind

See below link for previous days drabbles

When it's a quiet day at home surely they couldn't get away with sneaking another gift under your nose.

. . . .

For a Monday morning it really didn't feel like one. First, you got to sleep in, second was that there actually wasn't a call in, nothing. It was sweet, the kind of morning where when you wake up with the feeling of being late for something and then realising you have nothing to worry about and roll back over. And that's exactly what you did. You didn't fall back asleep however, just laid there thinking over the past week, a smile curving your lips with the memory of each present.

The chocolates were amazing, the flowers were surprisingly wonderful, you'd never say no to free coffee or food. The gloves were sweet but necessary and the photo was special, the perfect addition to your desk. Everything was personally picked and picked especially for you. There was that warm and fuzzy feeling again.

You rolled out of bed with the feeling that it was finally the weekend. Putting on a pot of coffee to brew you wondered around the house. Taking in the morning rays mixed with the icey chill of the new layer of snow over night.

While the coffee was dripping you opened the front door to retrieve your paper. The wide grin appeared on your face once more as you found a small brown box lying on top of the morning News with an envelope attached. You ripped open the envelope to find a typed letter.

Dear y/n,

Here's a little something I thought you'd like. I hope your CD player still works.

Thinking about you,

Insert who you hope it is here.

You laughed at the last part. There was no hint to point you closer to the person you hoped it would be. Although one thought came to mind, this was hand delivered so it couldn't be Jack.

Your heart dropped a little at the thought.

You put the letter aside and looked at the gift inside. The CD was in a paper sleeve with hand written list of songs. It was a mix of everything from P!nk, Walk Me Home to Wonderwall by Oasis and a few you hadn't heard of before. It was an interesting mix, you hadn't gotten a mixed CD in we'll ever so this was a bit special. The handwriting on the sleeve didn't look familiar, you could pick Jack's handwriting up easily. It was cursive but messy, this was cursive but neat and less slanted than her's.

You sipped your morning coffee and had a piece of toast while examining the letter and CD more closely.

Later you found the CD player was tucked away in a cabinet along your hallway. You grabbed it out when a thought came to mind. You weren't quite sure why it hadn't earlier, which made you put on another pot of coffee to get the brain ticking quicker, but they knew you had a CD player. The last time you had it out was at your 90's themed birthday party. There was a lot of people from work there that night so now your options were a little more varied. Your mind, more like your heart, kept pointing out that one of those people was Jack. However Jack was in NOLA, was it such a crazy idea that she had gotten someone else in on the plan?

No, she wouldn't do all this.

You slipped the CD in and blasted the tunes while you did a few chores to get your mind off the mystery person. Music always helped getting the hard jobs done and the songs were really good. Some you hadn't heard in years.

It wasn't until around lunch time that you finally texted Jack.

- How's the food coma going? :P

You didn't have to wait too long.

- Almost comatosed but the case keeps distracting us. How's your day off? Got any new surprises?

- Sounds like you might be there for longer than you thought. It's good, got the chores done and dusted while bopping along to my new tunes that my secret Santa left me.

- Secret Santa hey? Thought you had a secret admirer.

If only. You kept that thought to yourself and the one question that you really wanted to ask her and went with...

- Trying not to get my hopes too high. Still can't figure out who it is.

The replies stopped, along with your heart but you got on with the rest of your day which consisted of nothing much more than checking your phone every other minute even though you turned the volume up. You popped on a movie while flicking through your phone.

Half way through the movie your phone started to vibrate and you got all excited thinking it was a certain blonde. It wasn't but you weren't complaining either.

"Hey Kase, what's up?" You smiled, pausing the movie and getting up for a drink of water.

"Jimmy and I are going for breakfast tomorrow and thought you might want to join. It's all good if you don't, being your day off an all." Her tone was chipper, you knew she was at work, she'd helped with the case on Saturday but got an early mark and had to come back in today to wrap everything up.

"Work or no work a woman's gotta eat."

You heard a chuckle through the line. "You sound like Bishop and Jimmy."

"He said a woman's gotta eat?"

"Something like that. Meet you at the Diner around 7?"

You held in the sigh of being up so early but agreed and said your goodbyes. It was early for a weekend for you but seeing two of your favourite people outside of work made it worth it. Taking your tall glass of water, you sat back down on the couch and continued the movie. The next vibration on your phone came through minutes later.

- Sorry, got a lead. If this pans out I might be home sooner than expected but don't get your hopes up. I still need to find Ellie a present that's allowed on the plane. Dwayne doesn't think I'll be allowed his gumbo.

You laughed at the thought of Jack trying to carry a bowl of gumbo onto a flight just for Ellie. If she could take it with her she probably would.

- That's exciting, my hopes are under control. I can only wish for one thing at a time right now. I'm sure Ellie will be happy with a candy bar from the airport.

Ellie would be happy with any sweet she got. You both knew that but you knew Jack wanted to get her something specific. Something she couldn't get in DC.

- That's understandable but it is Christmas time. Miracles do happen, looks like I'll be home in a day or two. Looking forward to seeing you...

You over thought the last sentence for too long and now felt weird about what you might send as a reply. You were looking forward to seeing her too but could you say that? You wanted to kick your brain for this.

- I like this kind of miracle. Hope everything goes to plan and I can see you at work in a few days. It's quiet without you.

Simple but had meaning if you read between the lines which you know Jack does.

The texting continued on into the night. She even sent you another picture of her dinner which only made your sad salad even more sad. You would definitely need to do some grocery shopping tomorrow but nothing you could cook would live up to anything Jack was eating down south.

. . .

This one didn't seem to flow as much as I liked but I have work early and wanted to get it up at the usual time.

Hopefully you all like it :)

#ncis #ncis fanfic #ncis christmas #ncis reader insert #ncis x reader #ncis 12 days of christmas #jack sloane #jack sloane x reader

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ruanbaijie · 3 years

Note

Merry Christmas!

Yeah I feel the same, it's 2021 and March at the same time lol.

It's still interesting though! Maybe it will be handy at some point, you never know!

My German is horrible lol, it's been a while since I was taking classes!

My Chinese is slowly improving! Definitely can't watch things without English subtitles yet, but I catch words, phrases and sentences I understand some times! I can't really speak it yet, though! Grammatically it's very simple, my biggest issue is the tones and characters for sure. I'm using duolingo and I bought 2 notebooks so I can properly write things down, I've written stuff down already but it was on paper and it doesn't look very pretty lol. I also am rewartching (slowly) Handsome Siblings and writing all the dialogue down so I can learn how conversations work, and even though I've only got a few minutes down, I've already learned new words! It will take time for sure but I think it's worth it, there's only so much duolingo can teach.

I was basically entering my exam period when corona hit. It sucked, it was quite devastating. Because I did drama, there were several plays/pieces we had worked so incredibly hard on, that just had to be scrapped last minute. We wrote essays instead. Of course it was the right thing to do, but the sadness over not being able to complete our work, mixed with getting new assignments and our teachers instantly going on Easter break and not talking to us was.....stressful. It was definitely a rough time! I struggled so hard with my dissertation too! Fun fact, amidst all this was when I watched The Untamed!!! And it was a bit later when I decided to learn Chinese as a hobby!

I also really love Wen Ning and Wen Qing! I couldn't agree more!

My question this time is: what is/are your favourite ship/s, canon or not?

- Sincerely, your Classified Cultivator

hello!!

ah same I haven’t touched german in... two years?? my textbooks are rotting away and collecting dust... ;-; sigh all the money I spent on those... foreign language textbooks are crazy expensive ugh

oh that’s good! yep chinese grammar is fairly straightforward, at least it doesn’t involve lots of conjugation and exception *cough stares at french cough* and really strict sentence structure *cough stares at german cough* but it’s really all the different characters that make the language difficult... ;n; ohoh you’re actually rewatching the show and copying the dialogue as they go along??? omg that’s real dedication there, I’m guessing it would take quite some time >_< and I realise you’ve got to figure out the stroke order too (although this is usually quite straightforward) hmm... 再接再厉！ᕦ(ò_óˇ)

yeah that sounds really unfortunate ): writing essays are completely different from performing the actual play, it must have been really disappointing (´,_ゝ`) but at least that tough part is over! and wow you found the untamed during that period? 0: at least it was something to hold on and look forward to during that time! d(>_< ) and reallyyyy kudos to you for picking it up as a hobby and still going strong 200+ days later, because I have no stamina when it comes to self-learning languages and in october I was telling myself I would continue self-learning japanese come november, but it’s already december and I... still... haven’t... _(:3」∠)_

ahaha I’m a very unimaginative person, my favourite ships (in mdzs/ cql) are wangxian and songxiao ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜) wangxian because angst! pain! pining! waiting for 13 (or 16) years! and songxiao because more angst! more pain! (Ｔ▽Ｔ) maybe because I don’t read fics much so I don’t go too much into the non-canon ships, but @/feiyunn draws really gorgeous art of xicheng that make me go oh damn all the time

and that’s it all for now! hope you’re having a great weekend! (the last one of 2020 omg how even)

#*replies #mdzsnetcc

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sparxwrites · 6 years

Note

I've noticed recently that I've become accustomed to capitalising words for Emphasis, both in the absence of italics and in tandem with them. As a language nerd, what does this suggest of language mutation going forward?

this isn’t language mutation! at least, not in the way i suspect you mean it. it’s more of a linguistic adaptation to the inherent limitations of text-based communication - which is a bit of a mouthful, and a lot to unpack, so, let’s start with the basics:

in spoken english, we have words and grammar and sentences, the same as we have with internet english. however, we also have facial expressions, and body language, and hand gestures - and most relevantly here something called prosidy, which internet english is lacking (at least in the traditional sense). prosidy is the changes in pitch and volume of your voice when speaking. this gives rise to stress and intonation in speech, which serves several purposes - one is distinguishing between words (ie. record the object, and record the action), another is conveying emotion, and another is providing emphasis.

the last one is the primary purpose of both italics and initial capitalisation in internet english. since we can’t have prosidy over the internet via pitch and volume, we’ve adopted other methods.

words with the same spelling are usually disambiguated by context, so they’re not hugely relevant here, but there’s some interesting things going on with emotion and emphasis.

emotion is usually done with memes, emoticons, gifs, or other “verbal tags” - stuff like “/s” for sarcasm or “uwu” (which, interestingly, started off as a genuine expression of “i’m not mad at you!” and is now sarcastic and passive aggressive, so that’s a- lexical? possibly-lexical mutation there), or even acronyms like “tbh” and “lol” and “lmfao” which are now more often used to indicate the mood of a particular statement. for example: when was the last time you saw someone using lmfao to Actually Literally Mean “laughing my ass off”? now consider when the last time you saw someone using lmfao to mean “the previous statement is intended to be mildly humorous in a bleak and self-depreciating kind of way” was. think of the number of posts about “adults need to learn to text!” where people think their parents are angry because they ended a text in a full stop. think of all the wonderful variations on ellipses we have!! the way people use question marks as rhetorical devices, to indicate uncertainty in their statement, or to point out how obvious something is!! i love it. emotion tag-words are my favourite.

emphasis / stress is usually (or at least traditionally) done with italics in written english - it isn’t particularly a internet english thing, it’s been done by writers and comic book artists since well before the internet. this is part of what’s called prosodic stress in spoken english, and it’s used in a couple of different ways. aside from general the most relevant one here is to point out new information in a sentence (called focus in linguistics):

“However, it’s not enough to assume that turtles merely like the taste of pineapples. We must consider the possibility that turtles are deeply, sexually attracted to fruit.”

there’s also contrastive focus (a sub-type of focus, where the person you’re speaking to makes an assumption, and you’re contradicting / correcting them). wikipedia has some nice examples of how it’s often used both online and out loud:

I didn't take the test yesterday. (Somebody else did.)I didn't take the test yesterday. (I did not take it.)I didn't take the test yesterday. (I did something else with it.)I didn't take the test yesterday. (I took a different one.)I didn't take the test yesterday. (I took something else.)I didn't take the test yesterday. (I took it some other day.)

other things italics can do include indicating sarcasm (“Oh, of course, no one else has ever thought of this, because you’re so clever.”), and highlighting important/argument-relevant (“As I mentioned earlier: fish can feel love. This is just one reason amongst many, however, that fish-human marriage is undeniably ethically sound.”). i’m 90% sure that that latter one is probably also focus-related, but i don’t know enough about information structure generally to commit entirely to calling it focus - tbh, given how many different theories of focus there are, it may be focus under some theories, but not others (see also: that one theory on the wiki page where anything not given is focused, so if you’re specifically bringing up or reminding people of a relevant piece of information it’s probably not given and therefore focused). if the important / argument-relevant use is not focus-related, though, then it’s at least somehow related to information structure; perhaps italics are more generally useable to indicate something about information structure, without it specifically needing to be focus.

stress done with initial capitalisation, however, seems to be a little different - or at least, seems to occur in broader contexts than the one above. i suspect you could do an entire postgrad thesis on the similarities and differences between the two (and i also suspect that i don’t remember enough about syntax and phonology and information structure etc. to offer the best insight possible here), but let’s see if we can’t at least pick the differences apart a bit.

so! initial capitalisation can certainly be used in the same contexts as italics, for focusing new / relevant information and for contrastive focus. this evidenced by: (a) “omg, have u considered that turtles are Sexually Attracted To Fruit??” and “pls remember that Fish Can Feel Love” are both perfectly a-okay in internet english, and (b) by an edited version of the wikipedia examples:

I didn't take the test yesterday. (Somebody else did.)i Didn't take the test yesterday. (I did not take it.)i didn't Take the test yesterday. (I did something else with it.)i didn't take The test yesterday. (I took a different one.)i didn't take the Test yesterday. (I took something else.)i didn't take the test Yesterday. (I took it some other day.)

(initial capitalisation with “I” is always a little tricky (is it emphasis, or is it just normal capitalisation?), and in my expereince people tend to default to italics with it wherever possible for this reason. i’m also… unsure about how happy i am with the grammaticality (how “okay” a particular sentence is within a given language / dialect) of examples 4 & 5 (“The” and “Test”), but that might be because those two are a little unusual even with italics - “i didn’t take The Test today” looks much better, i think, and can mean both “i took a different one” and “i took something else”.)

however, it’s clear that initial capitalisation can occur in places where italicisation is either outright incorrect, or at least looks kind of weird:

[cute picture of a cat lying on its back, pulling a face, having knocked a plant pot off the table]

commenter A: “Why Do Cats Do These Things”

commenter B: “why do cats do these things”

commenter A’s statement is perfectly correct internet english; commenter B’s statement is just about interpretable, but quite clearly clumsy / not really acceptable in the opinion of most “native internet english speakers”. but why?? well, we’re clearly not focusing “do these things” (because it’s not really providing any information, it’s just sort of… pointing out that the cat in the picture is being weird and then asserting that this is prototypical cat behaviour. it’s trying to tap into a shared knowledge of “what cats do / are like” between “speaker” and reader), and though it’s somewhat humorous it’s not actually sarcastic, so italics are a no-go.

what commenter A is trying to do, however, is to indicate a specific usage / meaning of “do these things” via a specific “tone of voice”. commenter A is not just asking why cats behave specifically in this manner re: knocking pots off and pulling faces, they’re trying to indicate that they consider cats in general to act weirdly and look goofy; typing “why do cats do these things” would be mostly fine if you are indicating frustration / anger with a sudden plague of cats-knocking-off-plant-pots, but that’s not what commenter A is trying to communicate.

additionally, when i say “Why Do Cats Do These Things” out loud, there’s a specific tone of voice i use for it, that i suspect others do to - this kind of flat monotone, with a heavy weight on each word that’s not so much emphasis but a very careful over-pronunciation. it’s not quite emphasis, and definitely not focus-emphasis; it’s almost a comedy thing, or a joke; it’s drawing attention to a specific interpretation of this sentence that’s both humorous and typical within internet spaces; it’s indicating a kind of emotion (exasperation / affection / despair) more than anything.

some other examples of this, where capitalisation is a-okay but italics are somewhere between weird and entirely unacceptable:

“nah it’ll be fine, i’m Basically Immortal lol”

“getting run over would be Suboptimal”

“if word crashes and deletes this essay then, i swear to god, I’m Gonna Die”

“you’re a Terrible Human Being and i love it”

(if anyone can think of any examples where italics and capitalisation is okay, but are in the same style as the above, then let me know! or if people disagree with my analysis of what initial capitalisation sounds like out-loud. this sort of thing relies on native speaker judgements, usually, and although i am as close to a native internet english speaker as you’re gonna get, i’m only one person. other people may have other judgements.)

i suspect, from all of this, that the function of initial capitalisation is to indicate any kind of change in prosidy in the speaker’s voice (though primarily weird monotone), usually with an emphasis on a specific interpretation of the particular phrase that’s initially-capitalised. this is why it can be used for focus, and for sarcasm, and for more general emphasis the same way - but why it can also be used to represent a monotone (“I Would Prefer Not To”) in a way italics can’t, or to indicate that specific “you know what i’m talking about / i am referring to a concept we both share but that cannot be put into words” tone (“Why Are You Like This”), or that looping-up-and-down voice people use when they’re winding someone up (“I Am A Joy And A Delight, idk what you’re talking about :3ccc”).

italics can kind of be used for some of these, but only really as an extension of its function as an indicator of sarcasm - which means that italics are intelligible in that context, but just look weird, and like the person using them isn’t very fluent in internet english. that’s because initial caps don’t quite indicate sarcasm, though it occupies a similar teasing-dramatic tonal area; in some / most instances, initial caps seems to function similar to adding “lmfao” or “lol” onto the end, which suggests it’s also indicating a self-depreciating or bleak humour / drama to the sentence. initial caps seem to function, then, as a focus / emphasis device, but also as an emotion indicator, which is a sort of fascinating crossover of function - but very similarly to the way we see voice and prosidy being used for both focus / emphasis, and for conveying emotion.

so, you probably use italics + capitalisation in conjunction because you’re trying to convey two different things. for a sentence like “drinking three cups of coffee in a row is a terrible, awful, no good idea and oh my god Why Would You Do That”, the italics are conveying where you’re putting stress / emphasis in the sentence (on “oh my god why would you do that”). the initial capitalisation, however, is indicating that on top of emphasis, you’re saying “why would you do that” in a specifically unusual kind of prosidy, probably quite a flat and monotone one, and that it’s designed to be teasing / humorous.

i also suspect that italics + capitalisation can be used as a kind of “double emphasis”, or marking out an emphasised section within an already emphasised talking point. kind of the way bolding sometimes works?? (except the internet tends not to use bolding fsr, or only uses it for headings / as a way to highlight the most important sentences in a wall of information. it’s a structural-level organisational device, essentially.) so you can re-parse “it’s so important we feed cats and dogs different food, because cats are not dogs and have different dietary requirements!!!” as “[...], precisely because Cats Are Not Dogs and have different dietary requirements!!!”. in this instance, you’re emphasising that the reason for different treatment is that cats are not dogs and therefore have different dietary requirements, but also emphasising the fact in and of itself that cats are not dogs.

i also also suspect that, when we just need one form of emphasis and are choosing whether to use italics or initial capitalisation, we consider the context of our writing. in this “essay”, i’ve mostly used italics - they’re a little more “formal” as far as internet language goes (so, not very formal at all, but still more standard than initial caps), they’re more semantically accessible (i.e. if non-tumblr people find this essay, whereas they might be able to proactively work out what initial caps are intended to convey from context, they’ll probably intuitively understand the use of italics here), and they’re more visually accessible / they disrupt the visual flow of the text less. when i’m talking with friends (especially on platforms like skype and discord and tumblr messenger which, if they support italics at all, do so in a “non-intuitive” way, i.e. not using ctrl+i like word processing software does), in shorter / less formal settings, where the visual flow of the sentence is part of the meaning / emotion of the sentence in and of itself (how long are the sentences? do you use full stops? do you capitalise the beginnings of sentences? do you send each sentence as a new message? on a new line? how many dots do you use for ellipses? keysmashes? ?!??!??!?!?!?!!!! ?), i tend to use initial caps.

so tl;dr: italics seem to be primarily used to indicate focus - you’re pointing out a new or specifically relevant piece of information, or you’re correcting / denying a piece of information that your conversational partner has provided (or perhaps being sarcastic). initial capitalisation can Also/also be used for this purpose, but is additionally used to represent Any/any kind of change in prosidy that would occur if you spoke the sentence aloud (since we also mess about with intonation for other reasons beside focus). ...i sincerely hope someone has done / is doing / will do a thesis on this bc honestly this probably has some fascinating implications for information structure or prosidy or Something/something tbh.

regarding the “mutations” comment: these sorts of internet english quirks are not language mutations, per se, because we already have features for distinguishing this kind of thing in spoken english - and also because a lot of this stuff is what we call paralinguistic phenomena, which means that sarcasm and emphasis etc. communicate something, but it’s not actually strictly part of the language itself. it just adds an extra layer of meaning on top of the stuff being conveyed by the actual words.

instead, they’re adaptations of our orthographic (writing) system to cope with the increasing demands of written/internet english to convey these sorts of things. online, we don’t have people’s prosidy and their body language / expressions to read, so we need altered orthography or other visual indicators to ensure that people correctly understand the intent and mood behind your communication, not just the raw word-content of it. that’s why internet english has developed these quirks. essentially: our communication has always had these paralinguistic phenomena, these ways to convey emotion and emphasis; we’re just finding different ways of expressing them in response to environmental restrictions, i.e. the fact we’re all increasingly communicating via text on a regular, intensive basis. historically, we’ve primarily communicated verbally, so it’s not developed due to lack of need - but the internet has has created a heavily-used, text-primary environment, so now we do need it, and we’re collaboratively creating it as a result because humans (especially young humans) are excellent language innovators. it’s pretty neat!!

(as an interesting aside, i suspect that there’s also an element of in-grouping going on here. people want to mark out the community belong to, the people they’ve chosen as their “tribe” - irl, we do this via slang, and accents, and sometimes through certain types of wordplay or forms of prosidy / gesture etc. obviously, online, we can have slang (think about how often you’ve seen someone on tumblr say “top kek”, versus how ubiquitous that phrase is on reddit), but accents are a little harder. so we instead develop different ways of typing, different ways we use italics or capitalisation or emotes. some of this depends on platform constraints - if your community’s site doesn’t allow bold/italics, or automatically converts emotes into weird yellow smileys, you’re gonna have to develop workarounds for that - but some of it is us going “these are my people, and i can tell because we talk differently, and we’re Not Like You People”. this is why it can sometimes be linguistically disorienting going onto a different platform; i often find posters’ “tone” on reddit hard to read, because they seem to signal emotion differently to on tumblr!!

this may, perhaps, also be a reason why we’ve ended up with both capitalisation and italics - if one social group developed italics as emphasis, and a second social group (perhaps on a platform without capacity for italics) developed capitalisation as emphasis, and then the two groups merged or interacted, you’re gonna get this linguistic transference where the groups adopt one another’s styles without dropping their own original style. and then- voila! both italics and capitalisation for emphasis. but because language often tends towards getting rid of redundancy, the two styles specified out into having slightly different connotations / occuring in slightly different pragmatic environments. or, perhaps, the capitalisation style was always broader than italics, and there’s not been any change yet to reduce redundancy, but there will be in the future. who knows!)

(as a second interesting aside, all of this is probably partly why autistic people often report online friendships being easier / report preferring textual communication to face-to-face. whereas expressions and prosidy can be exceptionally difficult to learn to read if they’re not instinctual - think of the infinite variations of muscle contraction and relaxation in the face! the number of different pitches and volumes and patterns we can make with our voice! they’re very difficult to categorise because they overlap a lot and tend to gradient into one another - these kinds of “emotional tags” are usually quite easy and clear-cut. “/s” indicates sarcasm every time it is used, entirely unambiguously. stuff like “lol” or “tbh” are a little more ambiguous, but even then, they have a more limited set of emotional contexts that they’re used in than, say, the corners of your lips moving upwards. gifs and memes are even better; if they don’t outright say what they mean on the gif or in the meme, there’s entire websites dedicated to cataloguing and explaining memes should you be unclear of the usage.

additionally, internet environments can be a little more forgiving wrt people not picking up on tone, or using an incorrect / weird tone, when conversing; it’s hard to display tone online, and even allistic people (especially internet newbies or older people) struggle with it, so tonal faux pas or misunderstandings are a little more expected (and therefore forgiven) than irl.)

#lyinginbedmon #ask #linguistics #i am So Sorry this is like 3k but it got a little out of hand #there's a bunch of other stuff i could probably say on the topic too but like........ 3k is Enough #also if anyone has any native speaker judgements to offer #or someone w more information structure experience wants to correct me #Please God Do So i am very happy to hear others' opinions on this #i'm just spitballing here mostly

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mottlemoth · 6 years

Note

Leave it to me to go offscript, but my question isn't on the list, and it's one I've been meaning to ask. What's your writing process like? Do you write fairly clean drafts that require a minimum of polishing? Or are they akin to vomiting words and require several passes to edit, tighten and polish?

Redsie, my darling, I would go offscript for you any time.

My process, and how much editing I do, varies dramatically from chapter-to-chapter and day-to-day. I’ll try and go through this in detail, in case it’s helpful for anyone.

And I’m popping this under a cut for the sake of people’s dashboards.

As a general rule, a chapter will take me several sessions of work. When I settle to write at the start of each session, I usually start by reading back through what’s there. I’ll tidy up any typos, watch out for repeated words (Mycroft whimpers a lot in my first drafts) and just give it all a gentle fluffing while I get cosy again in the sound of my own voice.

When I’ve finished a chapter (or a short story, such as Kit or Diogenes) I’ll then close the file and let it sit overnight - or ideally for a couple of days - while I work on something else.

It means that when I reopen it some time later, to get it ready so that you guys can have a read, I’ve slept and I can process it with a clean brain.

I then read my way through, listening for ‘pings’.

‘Ping’ sounds when a sentence doesn’t read quite right just yet. It flags up something that seems a little clunky, a little laborious, a repeat of something that’s already been established, or something a bit too fluffed-up and melodramatic. A lot of my personal ‘pings’ can be fixed by shifting something into the active voice, or by taking out unnecessary adverbs - or, if it’s really vexing me and I can’t work out why, it sometimes turns out I don’t want that sentence there at all.

So I brush my way gently through the chapter, combing out pings, watching for repetition, spotting touch-ups I could make. For example - recently I’m more selective with my adverbs. I’ve been running sentences through my mind with the adverb, and then without it, and quite often it turns out the sentence is happy without it. (If I like the adverb, then fuck it - the adverb stays. It’s my story and if Greg fucks the guy gently, he’s going to fuck him gently.)

I’ve also recently been looking out for ‘ping’ when I’ve used ‘-ing’ forms of a verb where the simple ‘-ed’ form would do. (”Mycroft was searching through the drawer.”) If I get a ping reading that (and sometimes I won’t! And it’s fine!) then I’ll trial ‘Mycroft searched through the drawer’ - and if that seems tidier, I’ll replace it.

I do things like try and keep dialogue to three or four sentences/utterances per go. (“Are you serious, Myke? We already ate there last week. I’m so sick of noodles.”) I saw it suggested somewhere as a tip, and I tried it - and I think it’s nice. So I use it now, unless it’s inconvenient - in which case my dialogue chunks will be as long as I like.

An important part of my editing process is the saving of cut bits.

This is vital for me.

I have files and files of them - sentences, paragraphs, entire scenes, entire chapters. I don’t ever delete a thing. I worked hard on those words. They’re good words, and I’m glad that I wrote them. Just because they don’t fit in the finished version of the story that I want to show you guys, it doesn’t mean that they’re bad words. So they go safe into a file to be kept, in case I want to use them some day.

If the brushing process was tough, or it took a while, I might put the chapter away again for another night.

Essentially, when I can read through it all without sensing pings, just happily following along with what’s happening, I know it’s ready for you guys. Onto AO3 it goes.

All of this assumes that the underlying actions and events within the chapter are fine.

Which brings me onto The Case of Excultus.

I cannot begin to tell you the amount of editing (and trouble) that has gone into some sections of 'Skultus.

On two separate occasions, I’ve developed seriously swampy feelings while drafting, wondering why I’ve slowed down, what’s wrong with me, what the hell’s the matter. On both occasions I realised after several days of fretting that scenes had somehow been delivered to me (and I’d written them down) in the wrong order. Something in chapter twenty-seven actually needed to go in thirty. This bit from chapter thirty-one needed to go into twenty-eight. TJ can’t say that bit there; but without that line, that whole section can go four days back in time, and then it makes more sense.

(If you’re interested, the major turbulence struck chapters 27-32. I’ve undergone further problems in 41-44.)

Excultus has been a lot of work at times. This business of plot events in the wrong order has never happened to me before. I’ve also had to rescue Mycroft from several inconvenient mental breakdowns. I’ve had to wade into the two of them having furious arguments, and zap entire scenes to prevent it happening. I had to stop them having sex four times before they were allowed. I’ve had to take entire sex scenes out of the latter chapters, scenes that I adore, because they were too funny, too light - because they’re not fitting with that low thrumming cello you can all hear.

East End Boy wasn’t like this. I have very few cut bits from East End Boy - and they’re all cosmetic things, phrases and sentences and paragraphs, rather than entire 5000 word chapters like Excultus.

At times, Excultus has been like vomiting things up that turn out to be something I haven’t even eaten yet. Or vomiting things up that are just the wrong type of vomit entirely.

Some sections were breezy - especially the earlier parts. All they needed was that gentle brushing. The events happening were fine; character reactions to them were fine; everything was okay to go.

But the rest has sometimes felt like putting myself through a mangle.

It’s wholly worth it.

Entirely worth it.

The more work I put into ‘Skultus, and the more problems I surmount, the more I adore it. It’s been a vicious little snake to me at times. Weird things have happened, things I don’t understand until chapters later. I’ve loved every second of it.

I’d hate for anyone to think I slide this stuff out of nowhere.

But at the same time, I’m frankly horrified by the way some writers talk about editing. All this ‘slash things up’, ‘kill your babies’ crap - ‘delete at least so much of the first draft’. ‘Never use adverbs’.

No.

Nonsense.

Not helpful, not okay.

And not true.

Editing is brushing. Grooming. Gently working tangles out of this beautiful thing you have made, so that it’s smooth and easy and enjoyable for people to run their minds through.

Even in the worst case scenario, when The Powers That Be decide to send me entire sections of story in the wrong order, it’s been utterly fixable. It just takes some time to think, a deep breath to say, “Okay, something’s not quite right here,” and the courage to wonder.

“I wonder if Myke really needs to react that angrily.”

“I wonder if I could replace this bit with a text conversation instead. That might be simpler, and fun to write.”

“I wonder if I have this discussion with Luke come earlier, then the scene later doesn’t need to include him and it solves the issue of why they’re at Scotland Yard. They can be at home instead.”

I’m ultimately a believer that you should write the things you want to read.

You should write your own favourite stories, and you should write them the way you want them to be.

When a work is finished - finished for good, and I’ve written ‘The End’ - I’m far more inclined to leave it as it is and begin a new project, than start suddenly ripping up the foundations and changing plot or structure. I’ve been there, and it hurts. I’ve never seen it work out for the better, either. I’d rather start something fresh with what I’ve learned, than get into making huge changes.

When the house is built, you can only amend so much.

So you’re worried that you put the porch on wonky - that’s fine. Now you know how to make porches. Put a really posh one on the next house.

I wish I had a ‘just written’ chapter and a brushed one to show you all. I’ll see if I can remember to do that when I’ve finished Chapter 47.

This has become a very long reply - to a question I could probably have answered with ‘a bit of both’.

I just remember the person I was several years ago, and how desperately she needed to hear this. The word ‘editing’ used to paralyse me to the heart - because I thought it meant taking a sledgehammer in both hands to the thing you love.

It really doesn’t.

It’s about giving it more love - stroking through to spot those pings, working them out, and reminding yourself how well you’ve done.

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bloody-scans · 7 years

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Hello! I've been wondering for, like, forever. But what are the pronouns each characters use? (I'm mainly interested in Maria(all), Bloody, Hydra and Mary) Ore? Boku? Watashi? And also, do they have a different way of speaking? Like, if you say "I love cat" in Japanese, it could be "watashi wa neko ga suki desu" or "watashi wa neko ga suki" or other different kinds of ways. So if all the characters were to say a sentence meaning the same thing, how would each character say it?

Hey!

It’s Caramel over here, I wrote the reply to this ask in FOUR hours and half and I’m not counting on the time I’ve been looking for examples.

Sorry! I swear I never saw this ask before. Tumblr’s notification feature seems to not have worked correctly again. My biggest apologies if this ask has been sent in ages.

This is the kind of questions I love to answer because I know people get really curious about this. So, for once, let’s look a little at raws (with me explaining, of course) and forget this is a scanlation blog?

(Alright, this is huge and has several pictures and it includes three speech bubbles from chapters we didn’t scanlate, including the final chapter, so it’ll be under a “read more” link. I have no idea if tumblr mobile app still doesn’t show the link and shows the whole post instead. If it does and you don’t wanna see the rest, I’m deeply sorry, you’ll have to scroll through all of this.)

So first of all, I’ll just say that, in terms of their own speech, Bloody, Hydra and Mary are three of the four most interesting characters in Bloody Mary. The fourth character isn’t one you mentioned but I’ll talk about them at the end.

My biggest enemy in this demand to find examples of their pronouns is: Japanese doesn’t work like English and, therefore, the pronouns for “I” or “you” aren’t in the sentences like 90% of times in manga to cut speech short.

I’ll start with the Marias because there’s nothing special in them:

Both Yzack/Isaac and Yuusei use “私” (”Watashi”), which is a very neutral way of referring to oneself.

Yzack

(from chapter 8)

The second bubble says “Kimi wa watashi no kawaii musuko wo dou yatte koroshita…?”.

(from chapter 40 [final chapter])

“Aa… Watashi wa…”.

“I love cats” in his speech: “私は猫が好き” (”Watashi wa neko ga suki”)

Yuusei

Same as Yzack, he also uses “watashi”. However, I could only find a part in which he uses a pronoun for himself on chapter 40.

(from chapter 40 [final chapter])

“Watashi no koe ga Kikoemasu ka…?”

“I love cats” in his speech: “私は猫が好き” (”Watashi wa neko ga suki”) [exactly the same as Yzack]

Maria

Even though he uses a different pronoun from the other Marias, he uses the most generic pronoun used by male characters in Bloody Mary (for example, Shinobu and Takumi use the same pronoun): “俺” (ore):

(from chapter 1)

The second bubble says “Ore no daijina chi”.

(from chapter 16)

“Ore mo sou omotte ikiteta kedo…”

“I love cats” in his speech: “僕は猫が好き” (”Ore wa neko ga suki”)

And now the most interesting cases. Before carrying on, I need to explain one thing about Japanese writting in general because you’ll need to know this to understand what comes next: Japanese has THREE alphabets (well, one isn’t exactly an alphabet but, to make it easier, let’s say it is) - “Hiragana”, “Katakana” and “Kanji”.

Hiragana - If you can’t read this alphabet, you can’t read Japanese at all. Every single word in Japanese has its own Hiragana writing. - “わたし” is “watashi” in hiragana: わ - wa / た - ta / し - shi.

Katakana - This alphabet is exactly like Hiragana but, while Hiragana is used for the Japanese language, Katakana is what is used for what’s not Japanese. Ever wondered why Japanese voice actors pronounce English terribly? Because they usually are reading words writen in Katakana. - “ワタシ” is “watashi” in katakana: ワ - wa / タ - ta / シ - shi

Kanji - This isn’t actually an alphabet but let’s pretend it is. This is the actual name of those really tough symbols that seem chinese (and some are the same as in Chinese) - “私” is “watashi in kanji. This is completely unrelated to pronunciation, unlike the other two alphabets. Not all words in Japanese can be writen in Kanji.

As you may notice if you scroll up across the speeches I’ve shown you so far, you’ll see EVERYTHING is writen in Hiragana and that the speech of any of the Marias is all in Hiragana or Kanji. However now there’ll be Katakana in the mix and it will make things clearer to readers who understand Japanese, but I’m certain this confuses those who don’t and that’s what I am going to explain in here.

Hydra

Hydra is your local princess in everything, including in her own speech. Her pronoun is “私” (“Watashi”), just like Yzack and Yuusei because, despite being a neutral pronoun, it is also associated to female speech. Most women use that pronoun to refer to themselves in Japanese.

(from chapter 3)

Last bubble says “Watashi wa obakana kyuuketsuki-tachi to wa chigau no yo”.

She talks so politely, it gets really complicated to understand sometimes. Do you know what the “obakana” in this sentence is? It’s what we usually hear in anime as “baka” (yes, it’s “idiot”, “stupid” and so on), but because she’s using “o” (note of polite speech) and “na” (used in some adjectives), it doesn’t even seem the same word anymore if you write it like in English. However, in Japanese, you can note what she means because the word “baka” is written in Katakana while “o” and “na” are in Hiragana. Why is it in Katakana? Just to make the readers understand she really means that those vampires are idiots, the use of just hiragana in a row may confuse readers and it’s in that alphabet just to avoid confusion.

Another really interesting thing is that Hydra ends her sentences with わ (”wa”) a lot. This means nothing, it’s just a marker that the person talking (in this case, Hydra), is really feminine when speaking:

The second speech of the same picture says: “Daijoubu yo, mata kuru wa”.

(from chapter 16)

Second bubble says “Chigau wa…”

(from chapter 16)

Second bubble says “Mukae ni kita wa”.

“I love cats” in her speech: “私は猫が好きわ” (”Watashi wa neko ga suki wa”)

Mary (yes, I’m keeping Bloody for last out of the ones you requested because he has a really unique way of speak)

Mary is the only character in Bloody Mary we know of who changes slightly the way he speaks as he grows up.

He always uses the same pronoun for himself “オレ” (”ore” in katakana), whether he is a younger human or a more grown-up vampire. The reason why it is in Katakana is up to interpretation but I believe it’s just to keep the mystery around him.

(from chapter 29, young and human Mary)

“Ore… daijina jouhou wo shuushuu shitenda.”

(from chapter 33, present-day, older and vampire Mary)

Second bubble says: “Ore no koe… Kikoeteru ka?”

Besides this pronoun, he sometimes uses “nee” (instead of “nai”) or says “sugee” instead of “sugoi”, which is an informal way of speaking. Bloody shows this exact same way of speaking. Besides the twins, Shinobu talks that way as well.

However, after meeting Hydra, Mary adds one thing to his speech - he starts using “な” (”na”) at the end of his sentences a lot. Funny enough, while Hydra’s marker (”wa”) at the end of her sentences is a feminine marker, this one is a masculine marker. Which means that, long story short, Mary adopted the male version of Hydra’s feminine marker.

(from chapter 10)

The second bubble says “Maria ga nande “harai no chikara” ga tsukaenai no ka? Oshiete kuretara na”

(from chapter 10)

The last bubble, which is the end of the sentence, says “nemuri na”.

“I love cats” in his speech: “オレは猫が好きな” (”Ore wa neko ga suki na”)

Bloody

Here’s an example of the use of “nee” instead of “nai” that Bloody, Mary and Shinobu use (in this case, it’s Bloody who says it):

(from chapter 16)

“Iranee yo, betsu ni kore kara tatakau wake demonee shi”

Bloody is definitely the character that stands the most out of all the characters when he speaks because… He mostly speaks in Hiragana only. Of course, to not lead to mistakes in interpretation, his speech usually has one kanji or two but the idea is him talking just in Hiragana. What does that mean? That Bloody has a cute and childish way of speak.

Due to this way of speaking, the pronoun he uses to refer to himself is “おれ” (”ore” in hiragana).

(from chapter 1)

“Jaa, ore wo koroshitekure”

(from chapter 16)

“Demo… Kore ore no chi no nioi ja-…”

Now, one example of one speech bubble of his written in hiragana only (and it has one word that could be writen in kanji in it):

(from chapter 16)

“Are… Hontou da nande darou?”

However, what makes Bloody sound even cuter is - japanese names in hiragana:

(from chapter 27)

“I… Ichirou…” (usually writen as “一郎”)

Second bubble, “Shinobu” (usually writen as “忍“).

“I love cats” in his speech: “おれはねこがすき” (”Ore wa neko ga suki”)

And now, the only character I think is interesting that you, anon, didn’t ask about but that I think I should talk about her together with all of these:

Lily

Lily is the only character in Bloody Mary that has the marking of a foreign accent when speaking Japanese. This marking is: while the whole speech is writen in regular Japanese (hiragana and kanji), the last letter of her speech is in katakana:

(from chapter 20)

“Ita!!” (”i” in hiragana and “ta” in katakana)

(from chapter 20)

“Demo mate yo? Nande konna ni boroborona no ka?” (that “yo” and the “ka” are in katakana)

And, in case you’re wondering: Yes, even though she’s English, she is speaking in Japanese in those speech bubbles above.

Below is an example of how the text appears when she is talking in English (and, as you can see, the last letters of her speech in the bubbles below are in hiragana, which shows she has no foreign accent when saying this because she is talking her mother tongue):

(from chapter 20)

In case you don’t know about it, manga in Japanese is read up-down and right-left, however when the speech is in English, like in the picture above, it is read left-right and up-down, just as if it were writen in English.

Also here she uses the word 私達 (watashi-tachi), which implies she uses the pronoun “watashi” to refer to herself in Japanese.

“I love cats” in her speech when she speaks Japanese: “私は猫が好キ” (”Watashi wa neko ga suki”, that “ki” is in katakana)

I hope this answers your question, anon!

-- Caramel

#Anonymous #a whole day just to reply to one ask rip

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