#This was a little depressing
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Haven.
The strain in his muscles couldn’t compare to the exhaustion in his mind. Hentzau wanted to silence his brain just for a moment. Anything to help him sleep and forget all the shit that had happened during the day. It had been one bad report after the other. A train derailing. A bomb in the ammunition factory – again. Two of their generals murdered by human anarchists. These things came with the territory of his job…but for once, he just wanted one day of peace.
He hadn’t said anything when he’d entered their home. He hadn’t looked to where she sat by the window. He just made his way down into the cellar. Down into the soothing darkness that enveloped him like a warm blanket on a freezing night. When he had purchased this home for them – for her – he’d asked only for an office down here, but she had convinced him to make a bedroom as well. He needed a haven from the insanity outside their home, and he made a mental note to remember to thank her again for insisting on it.
Making his way to the large alcove he’d had carved out for a bed, he kicked his boots off and forced his aching body to lie down. It was days like this one that made him want to take his lover and run and forget all of this. Forget the stress. Forget the fighting. Forget the gray uniform that he knew better than his own skin.
He didn’t know how to be anything other than a soldier. Not anymore.
Quiet footsteps echoed in the room as her bare feet padded softly against the stone steps. He kept his back to her as she slid into his bed.
“Hentzau?” she whispered quietly as if she might break him if she spoke any louder.
“Hmm?” He didn’t have the strength for words.
Her fingers moved delicately against the rough fabric of his uniform. He hadn’t bothered to take it off. He’d just have to put it back on when he woke up. She rubbed circles along his back and sides and nuzzled her face between his shoulder blades.
“What can I do?” she asked. Her voice muffled.
He didn’t have an answer. She couldn’t bring back all the lives that were lost today. She couldn’t repair their transports. She couldn’t make the other humans see the Goyl as anything more than monsters.
He shook his head even though he knew she wouldn’t see it in the darkness, but his silence spoke loud enough. He couldn’t answer her any more than he could answer his king earlier. He just felt so tired.
Her arm slid around his waist as she propped her chin on his shoulder.
“Do you want to be alone?” she asked.
He shook his head. “No.”
He felt her nod against his shoulder. Her warmth spread through him as her heart beat steadily against his spine. He listened to its steady rhythm and let it lull him to sleep.
#Hentzau x reader#Hentzau#Sometimes he needs to be the little spoon#Mirrorworld Series#Emily writes BS#This was a little depressing#I just want to give him all the love#I did not edit this
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#I feel you there little buddy#reaction image#reaction meme#daily reaction images#image mood: depression time#submission
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(This post was sponsored by a 1+ hour commute)
#I'm so frustrated how little time and energy i have after a day is done#i didn't win the fight against depression to have lofe ruined by THAT now#lacking time and energy to go on job hunt.. it's all very small steps only#a part time job would be marvellous but what flat can be paid with that#maybe also my anxiety is stopping me from getting a new job. what if i get fired. what if it's horrible there. ahh.. i need more courage#mine capitalism#anti-capitalism#work
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thinking about this
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no time to celebrate
#drew this thinking their bdays were during night yorb summer for some reason#i went looking for the clip midway and when i saw it was the other way around i kinda died a little inside#BUT I AM NOTHING IF NOT COMMITTED !!!!#fantasy high#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#gorgug thistlespring#riz gukgak#so anyways we can pretend this is a time quangle thing yes yes#they fall asleep making the solar lasso and no one has it in them to wake them up (esp riz)#so the rest of the bad kids leave them stuff for when they wake up#joint birthday party is real and depressing ! but not really ! the power of friendship is still very real#dont ask me the logistics of the hangvan interior ill die#i dont wanna thnk about this piece anymore it aged me 10 years#my art
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#death note#light yagami#l lawliet#lawlight#if you squint#this is why i should not be trusted with colour#but winter is so depressing i need a little
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hakoda: you need to stay here and protect your sister
13 year old sokka, whose only point of reference for "protecting his sister" is literally his mother sacrificing herself in katara's place: ok 😃
#not shaming on hakoda here#well...#little shaming on hakoda here#but poor poor sokka#katara and sokka#please grant them therapy so they might move on from their codependency#yo kyas sacrifice#aside from fucking sokka up cause you know thats his mum#also fucked sokka up when he believed that everyone decided that katara was far more important than him#and thus him sacrificing his world for her was not only the right thing to do#it was also expected of him#anyhoo#dont we love how depression fucks over this child#hakoda and kya and sokka and katara#my fav disfunctional fam
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Hypothetically if. If they had a kiddo. A puppy. Does that hypothetical child have a design in your genius artist head anywhere
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#hmm#no probably not#they can't have biological children#and I doubt they'd ever end up adopting either#it would be just a little depressing to design a character that can't ever be used#and even if you did it just because you wanted to see how their genetics could potentially mix#Machete is albinistic and unless his offspring inherited the condition (rendering them fully white like him)#they would have completely different colors#so it wouldn't be gold + white but gold + mystery mix#right?#answered#anonymous
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Been awhile..
#jason todd#red hood#dc#catman's art#im trying my best not to rip my hair out atm so look at my jason boy#i was gonna make him twirl his stupid little hoodie strings but i got depressed so i didnt commit#ok bye good night everypony
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And I said, “Hello, Satan
I believe it’s time to go.”
#my art#southern gothic#been too depressed to create anything but I’ve made this today#the little rhyme has been in my head for a few weeks#spilled ink#I guess do people still use that tag for poetry or am I old lol#I’ve been writing in my journal pretty much daily and sometimes spitting out little poems like this#not much energy for art#so I’m not gonna pressure myself to keep it up#I’m just gonna enjoy the fact that I made this#I hope ur all well <33#the devil#by the way this isn’t meant to be fan art of Robert Johnson#but it’s inspired by him and the stories of musicians who sell their souls to the devil#I am still thinking very hard and have mostly drafted a cornstalk fiddle comic#god knows how long it’ll stay in a notebook haha#my comic#comics
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Trailer Park Steve AU part 4
part 1 | part 2 | part 3
September
He doesn’t talk to the Munsons much. (Doesn’t talk to anyone, really, aside from his mom and Robin and that one older woman who keeps renting and returning Gone With The Wind as an excuse to leave her house.) He keeps his head down and his nose clean, doesn’t care to make friends with the neighbors; just wants to get by.
One day Eddie approaches their door, waving a gas bill that got mixed up in their mail, and Steve greets him pleasantly enough.
“Stab anyone today?”
“Eat glass, Harrington.”
So it goes.
Steve watches the world pass and the weather turn, lets the hours bleed into weeks and squeezes his eyes shut against the flashbacks when they threaten to overwhelm.
Things with his mom are weird.
They don’t really speak, preferring to shrug their way past each other with careful, tight-lipped nods, and his mom takes these pills the doctor gave her that keep her perfectly pleasant and calm. Silent. Physically present but not really here.
And he can’t imagine how it feels to be her: Florence Harrington, ripped from the comforts of the upper crust and left to rot in a tin can seven miles across town. She spends most of her time letting out weary little sighs as she swans from room to room, drifting like a shade on the banks of the River Styx. (He can make that reference now because Robin won’t shut up about mythology. “It’s so gay, Steve. The Greeks were literally so gay.”)
Anyway.
Shit’s weird with the kids, too. He still drives them around — lets them loiter at Family Video when it’s slow; hangs around when they need a ride to the arcade or the movies or the skating rink; and he’s still on the hook for ‘ice cream. for. life,’ so…
It’s just not the same.
Like. Not to be dramatic, but who the fuck is Steve Harrington without the house and the pool and the free-for-all fridge? Just some kid with a car and a bat and a punchable face. And he can barely afford to keep the car now, anyway, so pretty soon they won’t need him for that, either. They’ll learn to drive; they’ll get their own jobs. Maybe Lucas builds enough muscle to take over as the party tank.
Maybe it’s better if he shelfs himself now before they realize he’s become obsolete.
“Oh, my god, you’re being pathetic,” he groans to himself. His voice is muffled where he’s lying face down on the couch. Ridiculous behavior, because everything is fine; Steve is fine. In the grand scheme of things where there are monsters and melted corpses and all kinds of crazy, horrible shit?
Yeah.
He’s being obnoxious. It’s a lovely sunny Saturday afternoon with just the right Autumn breeze going — gentle but cool; long sleeve polo weather; his favorite kind — and he’s sitting inside throwing himself a pity party.
Fucking absurd.
…Five more minutes.
Just five more minutes, then he’s getting off this couch.
He gets to a minute and a half when he hears the crunch of tires against the gravel, the clanging of a little bell from the handlebar of a bike, and then:
“STEVE!!!”
And that’ll be Dustin, trying to bang the door off the hinges and piss off the whole park at the same time. Kid’s nothing if not a multitasker. Steve lets another aggrieved groan loose into the couch cushion.
His mom’s out with the car; the lights are all off. Maybe he can just play dead ‘til Dustin leaves? He loves the kid, he really does, but his left ear is full of static, and he just wants to fucking sleep. Or sulk. Or both.
“STEVEN CHRISTOPHER, I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE.”
Jeeeeesus Christ. “Okay, chill,” Steve grumbles as he hauls himself upright and throws open the front door. His limbs feel like lead; there’s drool on his chin. “Wake the whole goddamn neighborhood, why don’t you?”
“It’s two in the afternoon.”
“Yeah, and half the people here work nights.”
“Oh-kayy,” Dustin drags out the word, “but you don’t.”
Ugh. Whatever. He’s not gonna be shamed by a toothless teenager for his depressing loser tendencies. “Did you need something?”
Steve scratches at his belly hair through his shirt, feels a muscle twinge in his shoulder and send a spark of nerve pain skittering up to the base of his skull.
Dustin either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care that Steve’s body is falling apart where he stands, because he just rolls his eyes and says, “Uh, yeah. I need to know why you’re avoiding everyone? Mom’s tried to invite you to dinner six times now.”
“I was working.”
“All six times?” Dustin glares. Steve feels a little pinned by it, feels guilt seeping through the cracks as he fidgets with his bad ear. This kid’s gonna be the scariest lawyer some day. “She’s worried.”
Goddammit.
Guilt squeezes hard behind his ribs; he knows Dustin uses his mom as a mouthpiece for the feelings he can’t express. “I’m fine,” he sighs, letting his eyes and voice go soft. “Honest.”
Dustin holds firm, gaze fierce and fists clenched. “Bullshit,” he insists.
“Man, don’t—”
“Bull. Shit.”
Suddenly, their impromptu interrogation gets interrupted by a crashing drum fill, a shriek of electric guitar as Munson’s van squeals into the lot. He’s blasting some melodramatic metal shit about wizards or whatever; Steve doesn’t know. He only knows that the skitter of nerve pain he felt is ramping up to a fullblown migraine now because this guy has to listen to his racket at full fucking volume, apparently, and isn’t this all just “fucking great.”
—
part 5
#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#steddie fic#trailer park steve au#steve can have a little depression as a treat#robin buckley#dustin henderson#claudia henderson#my writing#my fic
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Idk new post bc the last lost traction, no donations in a week. We need 450 for the rest of February, 450 for a deposit, and 950 for March, 50 for the rest of the utilities. We were homeless since Aug 2020 excepting 4 different months whose places fell through for various reasons, have to get rid of the van we were living in because it's falling apart, Collie got FFS December 28th, she's recovering well and maybe could do something with a car if we had a better car, given her ability to drive. I still haven't found much work but I'm still looking. Anything helps.
paypal.me/NoraEstherRose
venmo: nora-esther-rose
venmo: Leah-Esther-Rose
#i wish i could get a loan ? i hate how little my parents have ever helped me. we rely too much on collies mom who can only do so much#we both have various disabilities we still are in the process of understanding.... i hope i get adhd meds soon. :(#we havent been able to afford better anti depressants for over a week now. i hate feeling dependent#i wish it were a prescription.... stupid world. stupid time
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Part 4 of the "Dazai and Chuuya being competitive, mutually pining disasters" comics!
<- (Previous part) (Next part) ->
Most of this one is under the cut because it got LONG
#I'm gonna make at least one more little thing for this because it's eating my brain lol#possibly two because I have a compulsion to resolve literally everything possible#side note: that kid remains convinced that he saw real-life Westley and Buttercup in the grocery store for a long time#...also if I had the hands for it I would redraw this whole thing from the outsider POV because i think it would be hilarious —#man in hat shakes a package of fish around in a silent rage and then sadly puts it down and wanders around looking intensely depressed#until suddenly another guy#very out of breath#runs in and passionately declares his love for hat-man#life in bsd's Yokohama can never be normal#bsd#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#my art#bungou stray dogs#soukoku#skk
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Unprofessional yuri save me.. save me unprofessional yuri.. (image description in alt text)
#cithadol#cithis#pattadol#before anyone starts clowning the prison warden is Not a teen! seems to be the fanon for some people but respectfully i Strongly Disagree#anyway back to business - anyone else started shipping them after the modern AU company meal outing comic that kui posted some time ago ?#this ship is even funnier the longer i think about it because Pattadol is not even Cithis' warden ! thats mithrun !#i could see cithis wanting to do her 'seduce my warden' strategy twice (see her lore page) but then she gets mister depression man#so all she can do to amuse herself is focus her efforts on the other cop there as a little hobby. probably helps that pat is young & pretty#but also deeply annoying so finding ways to make her shut up and stop nagging the crew is a motivating endeavor#okay ill shut up now#dungeon meshi#just cooking my stew (art tag)
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st. andrews
#save me depressing teenage roy siblings save me#song i listened to while drawing this; no below - speedy ortiz#ruminating on roman's experience and how they navigated it#now one may see this and think igby goes down#don’t get it twisted. alas roman roy#also ken is doing that thing when he talks where he nods his head a little Ok thats allbye#succession#succession fanart#roman roy#roman roy fanart#kendall roy#kendall roy fanart#shiv roy#shiv roy fanart#my art#reblogs are welcome
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you're nice to people who are bald or balding, right? you're nice to people with high hairlines? or weird hair growth? right? you don't make mean jokes about going bald at the expense of people who are going through the very scary and usually very isolating process of losing hair?? right???
#sorry (?not really?) but finding high hairlines beautiful has 100000% fixed my self image issues AND made me nicer.#you should be nice to people with little or weird or no hair. i dont want to get depressing but hair loss can be so terrifyingly isolating#be nice!!#you really do NOT know who of your loved ones or friends you are hurting with funny haha bald jokes. and if you DO know who youre hurting#and are still making them anyways#im coming for you.#barkbarkbarkbark#you should be nice to people regardless of physical traits but like#ive seen an uptick in haha bald is ugly jokes on tumblr specifically so im biting tumblr
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