#This is an irl vent because im not seeing any on tumblr | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gothamcityneedsme · 1 year

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i am getting to the point where i will pay money to stop hearing about d/anny ph/antom and dc crossovers

#Shitpost #This is an irl vent because im not seeing any on tumblr #Ok jk i got recced one post because i have the superman tagged tracked #but like thats whatever #but my sister will not stop talking about it #and like i cannot tell you how much i do not care about. 1. Da/nny pha/ntom.#and 2. The dc fandom fandom #like. the people making this largely dont really read comics or even watch dc content on cartoons or whatever #i do not like headcanon only based content #im sooo sick of this bro.#I keep trying to gently say i dont want to really hear about it #but my sister always either takes it personally or just. Completely fails to not talk #and i do try to ban a lot of topics i guess #but i swear to god

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that-angry-noldo · 16 days

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war of wrath tumblr dashboard simulator lets go

🦚nosheepherd Follow

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE WEST HAS SENT THEIR AID

🐈meowcat Follow

screaming op we've literally been involved in a full scale war for 10 years already?? do you live under a rock or 😭

🦚nosheepherd Follow

bestie if you think i have left my hiding in the last 20 years for longer than 15 minutes you vastly overestimate my courage 😭 #at least they have food?? #also yes im alive lol sorry for not posting for. checks notes. last 30 years? #i LITERALLY live under a rock #hello beloved mutuals i missed you

(239 notes)

🥔thatonesinda Mutuals

does anyone have any cooking tips for when you have literally zero food in the house lol? we've been managing well but our home was raided a few days ago (we're all well thankfully) and well. everything edible is gone #kinda panicking over here 😬😬 #we'll probably last for a while but im afraid we'll have to leave soon #ive heard some of our armies are going nearby i think the best decision will be to stick to them #sigh. all of this would be so much easier if parents were around #lara talks #mutuals does anyone have a couch me and my siblings can crash at lol

(5 notes)

🏹herothevaliant Mutuals

she jumped on my sword til i

🏹herothevaliant

fuck

🏹herothevaliant

guys this is so embarassing my commander was literally staying behind me while i was typing. i was on duty im so fucked

🏹herothevaliant

STOP REBLOGGING THIS MY CAPTAIN IS ON THIS WEBSITE IF THEY SEE THIS I SWEAR TO ERU

🌌forestbranch Follow

hey 🙂

🏹herothevaliant

FUCK #WHY THE FUCK ARE ELVES SO QUIET #AAAAAH #please don't fire me

(11.2k notes)

For you!

🏺coolshitifound

🖼️ [image]

[Image ID: Lord Eönwë during the battle. He is pictured mid-swing, surrounded by numerous foes, all with varying levels of terror upon their faces. Lord Eönwë is covered in blood with a scowl on his face. He is swinging his greatsword at the nearest enemy, who wears a terrified expression. End Image ID]

🧉starspraylatte Follow

i think i hauve black death #🥵🥵🥵 #not very religious but y'know what #i would get on my knees for him

(58 notes)

🌠wanderingstranger Following

. #fucking hell #i'm so fucking sick #attended a mutual's funeral today #and a close irl friend is gone without trace #and i'm not sure whether it's a comfort that i didn't feel her die #fuck #this is so unfair #im so fucking sick of this war #and each day it's harder to believe this will ever be over #im not sure for how much longer i can go on #i have a bow #maybe i should join someone on the battlefield #at least death will find me not by my own hand #vent #to delete

(4 notes)

Because you follow #lord eönwë

🌺wistfuldaydreamer Follow

With You, Forever

Pairings: Lord Eönwë x Reader

Warnings: RPF, discussion of death, sadness, heartbreak

Summary: After narrowly evading death on the battlefield, you face your lover.

A/N: sorry for not updating! my family was on a run from goblin raiders, didn't have much time for writing lmao 🥲 i hope you enjoy!

Keep Reading

#lord eönwë #lord eönwë x reader #host of the west x reader #rpf #lord eönwë fanfiction #lord eönwë imagine

(138 notes)

🦀crabinthetree Mutuals

can't believe y'all are thirsting over those amanyar losers while our lord and saviour king ereinion gil-galad and our god and father lord círdan the shipwright are LITERALLY RIGHT THERE #fucking disappointed in y'all #1k #5k #10k #keep reblogging this don't be cowards

(12.4k notes)

⚫rosemary-in-the-wild-deactivated-0134563

no but why are king finarfin and manwë's herald kinda 😳😳😳 like am i the only one sensing some er strong male friendship going on orrrrrrr

🪵treecutter Follow

NO WAY THEY GOT DEACTIVATED TWO HOURS AFTER MAKING THIS POST

🌿olive-in-the-wild Following

they hated me because i was telling the truth 😔

🍆guyhaver Follow

people having "orcs dni" in their bio is so insensitive. like not only there are orcs who activelly suffer under lord melkor's rule but there are also those who fight on the side of the free people like wtf.

🍠friedtentacles Follow

i agree op but also why is it always orcs lol. like no one is putting werewolves ghouls vampires and other creatures of night on their lists lmao

🪭birdinbirch Follow

updating my dni list brb 🙂

🍆guyhaver Follow

@Staff why the FUCK is behavior like this allowed on this site. i swear to almighty #blocked and reported #istg one day i will quit this website #mutuals hold my hands we'll get through it together

(34 notes)

#silmarillion #silmarillion memes #war of wrath #eönwë #finarfin #made a silly :)

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pienhime · 11 months

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welcome to pienhime's blog ૮꒰ ྀི ◞ ˕ ◟ ꒱ა

•̩̩͙˚⁺‧. •̩̩͙˚⁺‧.˚ •̩̩͙ ✩. •̩̩͙˚⁺‧. •̩̩͙*˚⁺‧. ˚ •̩̩͙ ✩.

About me:

*. - Likes: wotakatsu, yamikawaii, yumekawaii, monster energy, weed, vtubers, plushies, liz lisa, ryousangata wota culture, menhera art, nso, shoujo manga, jpop, jrap, anime, girly kei

*.- Dislikes: having labels pushed on me, love, block evading, ableism and sanism, people trying to sanitize landmine kei by pretending its a fashion

* - More info: diagnosed borderline & autistic, jfash vet, nonbinary, spiritual kinnie, age regressor, profic, in ED recovery. the scary "sysmed" ur 12 year old mutual warned u about

content warnings oshis and kinlist below cut

💉this blog will contain vents about abuse trauma, nsfw, sh, ed, dysmorphia, dissociation, maladaptive daydreaming, intrusive thoughts, agoraphobia, and bpd episodes

💉this blog will never post irl sh or gore. ill never post my calories untagged even if i relapse into active anorexia. i might talk about cm measurements and my weight. my vents might get graphic. people who try to gatekeep the experience of bodyshaming or being "allowed" to be in the bodiposi community for any reason should stay away from me and see a psychiatrist.

💉ill reblog and maybe post artistic depictions of self harm, abuse, unhealthy dynamics, drug use, suicide, and violence, they will be trigger tagged as often as i can remember to tag them

💉i dont call myself landmine kei outside tumblr/where id be showing off my appearance even though i wear yamikawa styles and have problems with bpd and self harm because that term has always been about ILLNESS and BEHAVIORS, so posting myself to those tags would contribute to the whole jirai = fashion thing. im not going to use it in ways that would get me attention/likes for my appearance bc its not mine to "reclaim" (not like thats whats happening in japan either lol). i will sometimes tag jirai tags for non-fashion for reach and to find more mine/pien kei girls. i call myself pien kei because "pien" as a term originates with menhera girls and the feeling and the "pein kei archetype) are super relatable. i call myself menhera because i identify with the original meaning and like the art- im not using it derogatorily (but that meaning fits me too). again idc what u call urself as long as u dont push the label on others or lie about/try to change what it means!

💉ill post erokawa, SA survivor vents, nsft vents, and some fucked up fantasies but nothing irl. THESE WILL ALWAYS BE TAGGED. none of my shit is meant to condone getting worse, but if you think talking about getting worse or self destruction or artistic expression is anti-recovery thats on u boo

KINLIST:

💜pchan from nso

💜riamu yumemi from im@s

💜stocking from paswg

💜yohane from love live

💜sayori from ddlc

💜sayaka miki from madoka magica

💜yumekawachan from wristcut warriors

💜nijimin from magical girl site

💜harley quinn

💜opantsu-usagi

💜nagito komaeda

💜niito nemuko from neeko wa tsurai yo

💜fischl from genshin

💜denki kaminari from bnha

OSHIS:

🎀kasane teto

🎀vesper noir

🎀 randon neuring

🎀hajime hinata

🎀rin penrose

🎀kangel

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sad-leon · 8 months

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Hello! I hope you're having a good day!

So many people in my life seem to be going through something right now, and I just wanted to give you an opportunity to share anything you might be going through. Good or bad, as specific or as vague as you're comfortable with. Or feel free to ignore if you'd rather not. No pressure at all!

I hope things are going well for you! But if not, I'll be sending prayers your way if you're comfortable with that!

I am... not.

and i haven't for a long time

I'll preface this entire post with a warning: THIS IS A VENT POST the only tags will be trigger warnings

I thinks i've said it once or twice, but I started school this year. This is my first year in college after taking a gap year and also telling everyon i wasnt gonna go. I know jack shit about what im doing and its fucking exhausting. Theres so many things that i feel like I should know but dont because all the college information given out in my highschool was geared toward the college in that town specifically, which is not the college im going to.

I've also moved. im entirely on my own, physically and financially. I just met with my job and am starting very soon which is not good because my sleep schedule is all wrong. I may be switching jobs soon, but i can't just quit becuase, like i said, im on my own.

and those are only the big two. lets speedrun this. my anxiety, my autism, i need new glasses, my feet hurt more than i think they should, im a system, my eating disorder, my aversions that make it hard to drink the water up here, the burnout, the exhaustion, executive dysfunction, i also likely have adhd which mean rsd. im touch starved and touch adverse

those are just what i can think of off the top of my head

but all of this had been leading to what might be a pretty nasty breakdown and soon.

im so fucking tired all the time and that makes it hard to draw, but thats one of my only ways to relax. i like playing mc, but i get bored easily and also i cant sit at my desk for long becuase it feels like my head is too heavy for my neck. it hurts. everything hurts and my job doesnt help me at fucking all.

i was able to draw tsob while dealing with most of my issues becuase all i had to worry about was work. looking at my current schedule, i can find the free time. the issue is using that freetime to draw and not just sleep or dissociate. finding home is very dear to me, but drawing it the way i am can be exhausting and i dont want to start hating it, so i just.. dont draw it most days

i stress constantly about how i appear on my blog becuase i want so badly to do this right. i want to be good at something, like, as a person, not just as an artist. but i hate myself too much to believe in any progress i make.

i know its the rsd mostly but i see groups and i feel gross. its not as bed now (any of you beans that have made it this far, ily /p) becuase i found a community i can actually interact with, but it still comes up, especially because i've moved away from all my irl friends and its so fucking hard for me to make them in the first place. like.. actual friends, not just people i can work with at school

if i keep going i'll probably talk myself in circles, so ill stop it here. theres a lot more but im not going to ramble about my suicidal, intrusive, or sh thoughts on this blog. this is a post to inform you guys of the state of mind im in. im lonely and sad and its all building up to a massive breakdown.

im not going to be leaving tumblr or giving up on my comic, but i probalby wont update as often as i did tsob. i just dont have the energy.

i also will probably post some of my traditional art cuz i gotta fill up a sketchbook for my animation class, so that also takes away from the time i use to draw digitally.

im so tired

#vent post #tw vent #long post #tw exhaustion #tw burnout

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a-120 · 2 months

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I am now in the headspace where if I don't know your tumblr I will go through your blog.

My trust has just dissapeared.

Never thought I'd experience this. This is the shit that I see in those video essays, can't believe I've actually kind of experienced it.

Its always like: "Oh, that's terrible! I hope that never happens to me. I hope those victims/people who were hurt/people who went through it get better and find peace!"

So it gets worse. It gets really worse. This wasn't exactly supposed to be a vent but it all went downhill.

I talk about suicide and self harm in this.

I hate how she was the one who really got me into Doors. I hate how she was the first person I considered a friend. I hate how that inside joke is ruined now. I hate how she got me familiar with so many things. I hate how I felt bad for her. I hate the fact that I thought I felt like I could relate to her medically. I hate the fact that she was the one who I went to for help. I hate how I asked her for help when I was suicidal. I hate how I relied on her. I hate that I have so many memories with her in them. I hate how I thought we were best friends. I hate how manipulative she is. I hate how she hurt so many people. I hate her

I HATE HER SHITTY APOLOGIES. I HATE HOW THE "APOLOGY" SHE GAVE ME WAS MASSIVE AND FILLED WITH LIES AND MANIPULATION TACTICS. I HATE HOW SHE TRIED TO GUILT TRIP US. I HATE HOW SHE FAKED THINGS THAT PEOPLE GENUINELY SUFFER FROM. I FUCKING HATE HER AND I JUST WANT TO FORGET EVERYTHING ABOUT HER.

SHE KNOWS IM SUICIDAL. SHE KNOWS THAT I HAVE HURT MYSELF, DOESNT SHE?! SHE JUST FUCKING LOVES TO MAKE EVERYTHING WORSE. EVER SINCE LAST YEAR, EVERYTHING HAS BEEN RUINED. HEART SURGERY, CUDA PASSING AWAY, HIGHSCHOOL, IRL FRIENDS THAT HURT ME, GETTING TOLD IM MATURE FOR MY AGE, WANTING TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF, LOSING MOTIVATION FOR EVERYTHING, LEARNING THE ONLY GOOD FRIENDS I HAVE ARE SUFFERING IN THEIR OWN WAYS AND ME WANTING TO HELP THEM BUT I CANT, AND NOW THIS?!

THATS ALL I COULD THINK OF! THERES PROBABLY MORE! I JUST WANT TO TEAR MYSELF APART AND KILL MYSELF BUT IM TOO FUCKING SCARED TO DIE. IF I DIDNT HAVE ALL OF THESE FEARS I CAN BET YOU ID BE GONE BY NOW.

I'm sorry that I have to rely on so many people in order to not lose it. I wish I didn't have to rely on everyone and make their day worse by bringing her up.

Just fucking leave us alone, selfish asshole.

This wasn't meant to be massive. It was just meant to be everything until I started saying how much I hate things.

I won't be killing myself any time soon. I can't do it because I know how many people would be devastated to see me gone. I had to experience my brother trying, and even though it wasn't successful, I'm still heartbroken from it. That was years ago, too.

Thank you to the people who have been helping me.

I will continue to help others and keep an eye out.

I will make sure people block her.

Just. Block. Her.

#tw//ivory ment #sorry for the massive vent #tell me if I should delete this #tw // sh #tw // suicide #tw #tw sui vent #tw sh #tw sh destructive behaviour #tw suicide #cw sui mention #cw sh #cw sh mention

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s1lly-gh02tz · 10 months

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IM LUCIFER!!!

I go by he/they/it pronouns

I am a minor

I’m an artist and sometimes an animator and writer!!

I don’t have many other socials but I do have a TikTok!! (Same user as my tumblr)

I love making fanart of characters from fandoms I’ve been in such as fnaf, dsaf, Dhmis, Batim, cuphead, spooky month, welcome home, undertale, animal crossing, deltrarune, the owl house, invader Zim, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, I Feel Sick, Squee!, murder drones, and sometimes my own characters!

I’ve made other posts about my ocs if you’re interested under some form of an oc tag lol I also have other tags like #rambles and #Lucifer loosing his marbles (first one is just me talking and the other is me talking but I’m going wacky)

Please only send in asks if they’re drawing requests. Unless you’re an irl friend or a mutual. I do not feel comfortable when people send in asks. Even if it’s asking for money. I am a minor and there is no way for me to send you money. ⚠️

If you’d like to hear more about my AUs or characters please don’t hesitate to ask! I love talking about them

I also SOMETIMES posts vents but I’ll usually delete them within a little bit so just ignore those lol

Drawing requests are open!!! However I won’t be able to get to them for a little while because I’ve got other stuff to do

I’m currently really into: Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and Invader Zim!! (Sad to see deltarune go☹️)

If you ask me to do something (for example continue an old au or draw something) I might not always respond/or do it. I probably have something going on that results in me not responding! So be patient and if you send me an ask i might not respond, but I really love when people send asks!

Alr that’s about it’

Drawing request info⬇️⬇️

So yes as I said I do take drawing requests! I don’t charge or anything, it’s just something fun I like to do!

I will be able to answer/respond to requests however if I have something going on or will be busy for a period of time I will not be able to work on anything. I will update when I am able to take requests as often as possible!

I will draw:

Cartoony/non realistic things

Ships

Animals/anthropomorphic

Gore (I’m not super good at drawing it but I will^^)

Preferably 1-2 characters depending on complexity but I can draw more if requested

I won’t draw:

NSFW

Realism

Compships/ships I’m not comfortable drawing

Thats basically all I can think of for now. However if the request is something I personally don’t feel comfortable drawing, I’m not afraid to kindly decline the request. I apologize for any inconvenience this brings💔

NOTE: I CAN AND WILL REFUSE TO DRAW ANY REQUEST I AM UNCOMFORTABLE WITH‼️‼️

Hope this helps if anyone was wondering <3

#pinned post #intro post #fnaf #dsaf #batim #cuphead #spooky month #welcome home #undertale #deltarune #animal crossing #invader zim #johnny the homicidal maniac #murder drones #intro

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stargazer0001 · 10 months

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(art from above is by @/sleepinginmute.)

Hello everyone! I’m Stargazer0001! But you can just call me Star :3

my pronouns are she/they/he/it/astro in no particular order. I like em all so use them interchangeably

I'm your local lil space critter, who has declared themself the CEO of the rainworld ship Stargazer (spearmaster x rivulet x nightcat)

I'm a silly littol spacegender fellar :3 How can I be lesbian and spacegender at the same time you ask? Fuck you thats how!/j Im also asexual so no NSFW please! This blog is meant to be at least a bit more kid friendly, even if there are more mature topics

I am also a furry so if you do not like them then please leave here

I am also questioning if I am a therian and fictionkin. I have done research on both and I am now taking them into consideration. Im not gonna label myself yet because I still might not be, but if anyone has helpful info on them then please do share :)

I have a secret draw box! if you wanna draw for me anonymously, you can go here to do it! I check every couple days.

Ask box: Open

Ship requests: closed. Uhhh i frogor to update this for a while so uh yeagh.

Ask me stuff: Always open unless the ask box is closed

Tell me silly things: Yes I want to talk to people!! Please give me silly asks i need them....

art requests: not open sorry :( artblock is blocking my art so

I wanna make my blog more organized now so I am going to start tagging stuff

#my art Art that is made by me

#Art request anytime my art requests are open I will tag it with this

#ask An ask that I have answered, this also applies to anon asks

#Star.TXT document this is for anytime I am just talking

#vent this if for anytime I just need to talk and vent about stuff

#lil starz art this is for my really old art, such as the ones near the beginning of my Tumblr journey

#Silly chat this is me and my mutuals little chats! Like if they send a lighthearted friend ask I will tag it with silly chat

IF YOU DONT WANNA SEE A CERTAIN TAG THEN FILTER IT

I rarely block people but I still will on occasion. Please don't take any hard feelings if I do block you.

Basic DNI such as NSFW blogs, homophobes, transphobes, fatphobes, racists, antifurries and antitherians, and zionists

Cool moots who you should go check out if you like my blog:

@critter2: My IRL bestie that ive been with for a long time. We've been together through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. The bestie ever :3

@cookieeevee: An amazing friend! The first person to ever really DM me on here and I'd like to say that we've grown to be good friends. We have amazing little chats and she's an amazing person! Their art is also so soft and squishable! Go check em out

@sleepinginmute: one of my first moots! Such an amazing and silly creature. Its art is amazing, and even though im unsure if it considers me a friend, I know that I do. I really do wish the best for it and I hope that it can be truly happy someday

@cumulusbrume: we dont interact very often anymore, but I still find him a great moot to this day

@athofear: I fun lil fello!! Always a fun time interacting with em. Their art is also superrr shaped and silly!! Always a treat to see them on my dash

@meowyncherry: we dont interact much but he gave me the kinitopet brainrot and their art is also super blorbo so :3

@suburbandrifts: once again, we dont interact very often but they seem very cool and silly/pos and their art is incredibly good! mm the colors are coloring/pos @weeeeblr:!!! The art ever actually!!! Idk how we're mutuals cause hes super cool actually. Great art, and his designs for basically everything is peak/srs

@bananacat76: the bestie does indeed make art!!! And said art is amazing!! Such a cool person and fren :3 their style is also incredibly interesting I need to study it under a microscope/aff

@keeper-of-magic:!!! Cool person alert!!! Their art is amazing and their worldbuiding skills are super awesome!!! I also gotta try and play DND with them sometime.... I have no idea how to but it seems fun, just like them!

@badgerfrost: the silly ever!!! Its art is very well colored and its basically eye candy at this point, and ever time we interact I KNOW its gonna be a goood time

@draagu: ohhhh the silly!!! We dont interact much but shes a super cool moot and idk how we're mutuals like. ??? awesome person with awesome art FOLLOWED ME????? Awesome

@dazzoot: we have interacted a total of like 1 time but cool mutual deserves an honorary tag

GO CHECK ALL OF THESE SILLY PPL OUT!!! THEY'RE AWESOME :333 (if I forgor anyone i am so sorry. Also if you want me to untag you just ask. I dont wanna make anyone uncomfy)

Talking to people spooks me

I have anxiety so please be patient with me, I usually overthink what I am going to say and then end up saying something either really stupid, kinda weird, or I just don't respond.

I am mentally a 5 year old so please inform me if I did something wrong, I usually wont notice or I will think its not an issue. Please be patient with me.

if you sat through all of that, congrats! You get rw gifs now :)

#Intro #rainworld #rainworld downpour #rw shipping #hiii #tag navigation ->#my art #Art request #ask #Star.TXT document #vent #lil starz art

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arsen1cs4ng0 · 11 months

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serious post, please read

i think im comfortable enough to talk about my experiences with the chip fandom from march 2022 until february 2023, and how much it really affected me.

i never really wanted to publicly open up about this shit due to past experience and what i had to witness with many of my friends, but im kinda sick of pretending everything is fine and great on here!!

some of the shit i'll be saying under the keep reading cut may be really upsetting, please keep that in mind before proceeding (tws for suicide and harassment) doubt anyone will read this seeing as im such a small account, but hey fucking ho lol

ughhh where the fuck do i begin i created the starlandspoons account in the hopes of trying to warm up to the chip fandom again after enduring so much on the twitter side of it (hoping the tumblr side would be a little better) but... even with me trying to create good memories like i was able to in early 2022.... the pain i felt never subsided.

this is the part where val moans about their chip trauma!! the main shit (im not calling this """drama""". this shit is serious) started in late february of 2022. a controversial figure in the chip fandom, gremlin, came out with an ""apology"" for her actions (i go in detail about her actions here), blaming her actions in 2020/21 on shit like "i was doing it to piss people off" and much more that i dont really want to think about. admittedly, i initially fell for this, being too naive to understand exactly how bad she was (i knew she was bad, but didnt realise how bad)

now heres where the shit really started. back in march of 2022, i witnessed one of my friends on twitter (not naming who, i dont want them to get harassed again) get bombarded with hate + get vagueposted for not forgiving her. people started block-evading them, one person started being enbyphobic towards said person... you can get the idea here. the first time, it did a bit of damage on the way i viewed chip. i lost my taste in it temporarily. that was, until a few days later, where i had a new hyperfixation related to chip (lil guy), which kept my love for it going for a little longer!! that hyperfixation was so strong (stronger than any of my other ones had been) it was able to keep me mostly distracted from the bad shit. mostly.

everything was cool. great. as far as i remember... until late may/early june 2022. back in may of 2022, i became friends with someone called yuzu. they ran an account on twitter where they posted chip songs, tts songs, a/e songs, you get the picture... i became really good friends with them for a while, they were always there to listen to me, we'd talk a lot, yknow. what stood out was that nobody else i knew was that understanding. i was bullied a lot irl, and it was comforting to have that person there for you. i felt.... great!!!

the night of june 9th came, where they got blocked by my friends for "recommending a song from a bad person". they let me know about this, i checked what happened, and... it was a song from gremlin. this didnt bother me too much until i tried to explain to them that they were both problematic... they didn't listen. i dont remember the exact details now as my brain blocked out most of it, but i remember this almost made me spiral into a meltdown, and i suddenly couldnt stand them. i blocked them because i was too uncomfortable and i was on a brink of a meltdown.

june 10th, they made a whole vent about me. guess who had a meltdown!! multiple meltdowns in the span of 2 weeks!! how did i know?? twitter bugged out on me. the vent completely broke me. i was reminded of my ex and how they talked to me. i started getting scared of myself. i felt like a monster. i seriously wanted to kill myself. at that point, i was waiting for my chip friends to block me because i started all of the shit this time!! shit people wanted to move on from!! my brain was convincing me that my chip friends hated me!! (and to this day i still feel like that sometimes)

i had so many more meltdowns from that time. late june, i had to defend another friend (who i'll refer to as bones, for privacy reasons) from being manipulated by them. i was so angry one of my friends went to calm me down through dms. i was so stressed out of my mind that i even went non-verbal one time, which rarely happens!! this continued on and on and on, spending my time and energy defending my friends. i found out so much more about gremlin, even more gross shit, seeing she was friends with someone who is very openly radf*m/a t*rf (+ blamed bones for their own personal family problems), someone who was openly proshit (+ was one of the people who harassed one of my friends)... you get the picture.

this ate away at my mental health more, to the point where i started contemplating suicide. shit i dealt with irl really didnt help either.

the worst part was in january of this year where i had a really bad panic attack because i was scared bones was going to kill themself and there was nothing i could do about it. after that i gave up with the fandom because i finally accepted no matter what i did, nobody would listen. to bones, the friend im talking about, i hope you're okay and i'm sorry i chickened out. im sorry i failed you.

i attempted to try to step my toe into the chip fandom a few months later again by creating the starlandspoons account as my vosim hyperfix was still there and i really missed the good times, but... i still felt unhappy. i have nightmares about the chip fandom sometimes. i am constantly reliving the shit i had to witness in my head. im still feeling the anger i felt those months ago. im still getting angry at myself for not doing more to defend my friends. im still feeling suicidal (not just from the chip fandom, but its contributing to it). it all hurts so much, to this day.

im still going to post on the starlandspoons account for as long as my vosim hyperfix continues. yall are not taking that from me.

sorry for such a heavy vent post, but ive just been needing to let this out for such a long time. it's 4am, i desparately need to sleep. i will say this a thousand times more: thank you to the chip friends who have stayed by my side despite all the shit i endured. thank you so much, you guys really mean to me. seriously, you guys do. i dont know what i'd do without you guys. and to 3 certain people from the chip fandom (you 3 know who you are), thank you especially.

for those who read all of this, thank you for listening to silly little val. i'll be okay, i think. i hope you guys have a good day/night/whatever time it is for you. ;___;

#yaaaawn sorry its long #suicide mention tw #harassment tw #val being a pissbaby #serious post

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flower-zombie-rob · 11 months

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Hello flowers! Just gotta tell you something.

You are one of my favorite artists on tumblr, i enjoy seeing any art you post while joining on the chaos without feeling like im being too weird and it's a lot of fun when this blog just bursts into chaos and seeing you have a good time out of this and question all of the anon's sanity is very enjoyable. I hope you continue to make art and chaos!

I have a very similar sentiment myself!!!

As someone who definitly had a hard time coming to terms with niche intrests and still struggles a lot with self confidence off the internet, its been really nice and fun to meet so many funny and likeminded people. Not only that, but getting the chance to chat and be mutuals and friends with creators who are really huge and talented in this community has been amazing, its even lead to me meeting some irl! I really feel like im kind of known in the jse fandom(on tumblr at least) and its lead me to this feeling of creating my own follower community. I feel like ive tried hard to make my blog a safe space for people like me (or who were like me when i was a younger user). I dont like to tear people down or call them cringe(unless they do something legitimately that makes me uncomfortable) because the chaos is fun and quirky and its a thing i feel my blog embodies that other bigger jse blogs cant or dont. My cutesy art style serves as a way to welcome people to my blog, but i love the dynamics i get to form between you guys and the fact that youre always so open with my in my ask box and dms is really sweet and makes me feel like ive really gathered a kind and sweet collection of people who now get to meet and interract with each other through my blog as a platform, encouraging them to interract with others more too. I love you guys snd this friendly and supporting mini-community we've made around my blog and i hope it stays like that because this blog really is safe for anyone from all walks of life to enjoy if they want to without fear of judgement.

Just dont be getting all parasocial on me guys thats the only thing im affraid of with this little vibe we have. Remember you dont know me and i dont know you so dont blindly follow and agree with me on everything and definitly dont confide in me as this therapust friend for venting and traumadumping and such. But i havent had that happen too often due to how dearly you all respect me and i respect you all the same!

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rhythmgamer · 1 year

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vent under Keep Reading

i was trying to do my assignments and. i just can't focus. nothing I'm doing is entering my head. I can't focus. i just can't. and i have so much to do. including eating. and drinking water. and I'm just lying on my head doing nothing cus i. simply can't bring myself ro do anything. god i feel like an absolute failure. why is that everyone else can just. do things. how do people. be people. i want to know. i feel so so broken rn like a broken doll i just can't function the way I'm supposed to function.

also that reminded me. everytime I've tried telling my mother about the ADHD symptoms i face she'd told me "oh you've been like this since childhood" and just. dismissed it. just like that. just because I've been like that since childhood. also also also. literally nobody. LITERALLY NOBODY I KNOW IRL RELATES TO ME. even a close friend here. a friend very very very dear to me. when i told faer about how I can't focus no matter how much i try to.

fae replied "well are you trying?"

and that just. broke my heart. like it feels. I'm the only fucking person in this entire uni who's suffering like this. only fucking person who's dealing with undiagnosed ADHD which is literally crippling them from functioning like a normal person. i hate it i hate it i hate it. i want to function normally. im not saying i hate myself but i just wish I wasn't this broken. so fucking broken that I can't even bring myself to study even if i want to. I CAN'T PUT MY MIND TO THINGS I WANT TO PUT MY MIND TO WHAT BULLSHIT IS THAT. WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY DO I NOT REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I ATE OR DRANK WATER OR BRUSHED MY TEETH OR TOOK A BATH OR LITERALLY ANYTHING AT ALL. WHY AM I FAILING SO BAD AT LITERALLY EXISTING WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME.

why do i even. try. at this point. even if i go to any psychiatrist they'll probably dismiss me seeing my good grades till grade 12. they'll be like "this person can't have ADHD look at the grades". even though grades are nowhere a criterion for ADHD. i just know it. this is india. people don't even know ADHD exists I don't expect them to have a clear idea of it. i hate it here i hate it here i hate it here. literally nobody irl understands me and the pain I've had to go through all my life why why why why do i even try. i just feel like. giving up. letting this disorder win cus I'M TIRED. I'm so so so so tired of fighting it I don't know how long i can anymore I'M TIRED. i know I'm normally silly here on tumblr but I'm sorry I'm very mentally ill with severe undiagnosed ADHD for whom it'll be a huge struggle to get diagnosed. i just wish for once people understood my pain and struggling and accomodated for me. for once.

#shashi vent #adhd posting

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giyuji · 2 years

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୭̥⋆*｡ RULES!

PLEASE READ all rules surrounding interactions, my writing and sending requests before sending any of the above, thank you!

INTERACTING. . .

༄ i write for aged-up characters outside their canon storyline. if this isn't your cup of tea, or if you feel that's not correct, then that's totally valid. except this blog isn't for you, then. simply remove yourself from my blog and go on with your day. unwanted comments will be blocked <3 i don't have time nor want for those.

༄ this blog is not spoiler free. any possible spoilers will be tagged under: #[fandom] manga spoilers. it is up to you to block the tag if you do not wish to see possible spoilers.

༄ please refrain from venting to me about personal things in my ask-box. especially without asking first. also do not bring up things such as politics or religion. i encounter them enough irl, and would like this to be a space free from those topics.

༄ do not call me bitch, slut, whore, etc. if we aren't friends and/or i do not know you. other nicknames such as bestie, babe, love are okay, though.

༄ unless i specifically ask for it; don’t come into my asks breaking down the things you thought could have been better in a fic of mine. i’ve had this once. it’s not fun. i write simply bc i like doing it, it's not a master thesis.

WRITING & REQUESTING. . .

༄ different fics i'm open to writing: headcanons, most to least likely, smaus, drabbles, one-shots, multi-parts & series. note that series and multi-parts cannot be requested. these will only be done if i myself feel like it.

༄ topics i won't [!] write for: male!reader, noncon, incest/pseudo-incest, character x character, any type of physical and/or sexual abuse, suicide, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, eating disorders, nothing in which the reader loses a limb/forced amputation, piss/scat kinks, foot fetishes, pet play, age play, a/b/o related stuff, hybrid-reader, major character death/death of the reader.

༄ when requesting, keep the above boundaries in mind. i will not be explaining why i won't write certain topics, as some of it is related to traumatic experiences. take the boundary at a face value, thank you. (almost) everything except the above, i’m willing to write.

༄ my default reader is female with she/her pronouns. this is because i am a woman with she/her pronouns, and before i write for somebody else, i write for myself. if you request something, please make sure to add whether you want a fem!reader or gn!reader.

༄ remain patient and respectful when requesting. this is still my blog, and i do this for free & bc i find it fun. as soon as im rushed to write, i will no longer find it fun and will lose the motivation to do so. you will only be waiting longer.

༄ do not spam-like. i will never, ever be bothered if you reblog/comment on my works in bulk (i promise!). liking is a different story, however—as it may result in tumblr detecting my account as a bot. i’ve been shadow-banned before and it sucked ass, so i’d like to avoid that. if you use likes as a bookmarking system, please stick to liking my main masterlist. thank you.

#writing guidelines.#rules.#if you don't follow these and send a request without reading them i'll ignore it #it won't be written & i won't respond to it #overstepping my boundaries multiple times will result in being blocked

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festeringneondistraction · 1 year

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I'm starting my new job for real tomorrow and i'm so anxious.

So after months of unemployment i finally got a job. Well its technically not a job it more like paid community service. Its called Mandy's Farm and its part of the Americorps program, I am serving as a part of the Vamos program. We provide employment services and adult skills training to developmentally disabled people between 14-25 years old. Plenty of other things but I suggest a google to get the full picture.

For context I am 19 years old and have a background in daycare and special needs students, more importantly I am AuDHD and disabled as well. I've come into this field because of a deep desire to help my people and other community members. I crave advocacy, I've always wanted to feel like i'm actually helping people, I want to be in the trenches. So far everyone is super accommodating and nice so i really don't have anything to worry about. I'm just meeting a lot of people in person who have heard a lot about me presumably and that is really anxiety provoking. What about the students? They seem super nice but im still really worried about people not liking me. Plus there are likely disabilities that I have yet to encounter that I will have to adjust to and learn about which isn't a bad thing at all that's fine. But what if I mess up?? What if I get overstimulated and shy?

This is definitely a step up the professional ladder for me which is unnatural. I was prepared to go back to Joann's or worse. I'm still super broke but I can already tell that i'm going to be so much happier. I hope I can get along with everyone, people think i'm knowledgeable which in my opinion is quite a high compliment. Weirdly enough my daycare experience already appears to be more relevant than I thought same thing with my performing arts school background. I hope there are people that I can relate to and that relate to me. Currently i'm just listening to Death cab for Cutie and a Cewpins Vod (highly recommend if you smoke at all!!) because after training I was just totally wiped and got home and did my routine.

We had to go to home depot to get a replacement toilet handle because you gotta love cheap apartments. :)

Get home (BF does the toilet because im wiped out).

Immediately do a hugeeeee afterwork dab.

Chill high as fuck for a bit.

Order food reluctantly.

Wait for than eat the food.

Try to stay up.

Fail.

Pass out in an unnatural position with lights on and everything.

Have random sex because fuck it lol.

Sleep part 2.

Wake up.

Computer at like 1:15 am

Get your stimulation of choice.

Dab again.

Get anxious then hop on tumblr to vent.

So that's pretty much it. Jacob is still asleep. He's still frustrated and depressed understandably so but the difference is that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and he cant seem to yet, I guess it feels a little closer for me... Things have been really hard lately,,, our guinea pig Boston died a few days ago.. We haven't been able to bury him yet so he's just in our freezer... Which sucks because I don't cook really so I cant use my freezer so like pretty much all my food. I would like to get some closure. He's definitely still haunting me.

My only IRL friend I live near has Covid and her whole family including her 1 year old daughter is sick.. I just got over Covid and it sucks ass. She said she got it from work but its fucking everywhere again where i'm at so who even knows.

I also cant find my goddamn wallet!! I have google pay and everything but i still need my damn wallet!! Im frustrated because this is the seccound important wallet I have not been able to to find and i cant get fucked over again. If any witches have some lost object spells or tips id genuinely appreciate it i'm pretty desperate.

I have a feeling this new job is definitely going to keep me busy, Another huge advantage is when I finish my service I get an education award that can go to past of future collage payments. I could attempt to start collage... god who knows I still cant drive I still can only manage 6th grade math. I wish that I was competent at math i never have been.

I say 6th grade roughly it could be better but it is likely even worse than i think it is. I have serve trauma relating to a math teacher I had in middle school and then highschool. It goes back even farther because you know how undiagnosed learning disabilities are. The school had to intervene because he was my only option for a math class. Long story short I ended up getting a free math credit in 8th grade where during the period id just sit in the deans office and use it as a "study hall". Listened to some great music in that "class" i was often productive but not in the ways that people wanted me to lol.

I'm debating hoping on some Khan academy or something just because i resent math so hard I need to conquer it. Plus if I'm planning on college (which I am) I want to be ready for gen eds. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH my brain is scrambled i just want my ebt card bro. Im outta fooddddd. I miss money, Is it time to talk to rich art school friend?? Is that unethical?? Alan if youre reading this id appreciate whatever is possible <3 ( kidding not kiddingggg)

#audhd #autism post #community service #disability #developmental disabilities #money help #im so broke #music is nice #weed #dabs #anxiety #death cab for cutie #animal death

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the-skrunkle · 3 months

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intro below the cut <3

sideblog of @the-skrunkle so feel free to apply this there too c: stuff abt me!! i use she/her pronouns, they/them is okay too as long as its not used exclusively or for the majority because then it feels like its purposefully avoiding the alternative, obviously for ppl who dont know though that doesnt rly apply c:

im demi aro+ace! i also find relationships very cute in like shows and books and stuff (well um as long as they're done well..) despite finding them kinda gross and weird when they involve irl people (including actors...) sorry,,

um. i would talk about my interests but i feel like they're a bit random sometimes. ill like basically anything if i enjoy their vibes which is so vague that i dont think i can elaborate. i guess i like any creative works, in particular music and art!! (generic i know...) my favourite book series atm is skulduggery pleasant, my favourite show recently is saiki k and my favourite visual novel is starry flowers :3 i dont have any favourite artists though (musicians included). erm . . i like celeste!! i dont play it that often anymore but thats just because ive kind of been losing interest in games in general,, i still play it sometimes though. same with genshin but the main reason i like that is cus i like the characters a lot

idk what else im meant to say tbh- ill block people who's vibe i just dont really like, or sometimes if its just something i dont really wanna see and tumblr keeps showing me for some reason

oh yeah. since this is my blog for like. more personal stuff, there will be vents sometimes. sorry. ill tag them with #vent (or #mini vent if its something less serious!) so feel free to block that tag if you dont want to see them, thats totally ok!! ill also end up deleting them after i feel better so hopefully they wont randomly pop up too much - i might also use #not a vent sometimes for things that might be kinda negative but not actually venting!!

yeah thats kinda it i think-

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shhhhhiminsidesaitamascloset · 8 months

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Personal Vent

.

I didnt think a long time friend would block me on tumblr or at all. I admit, i was a bit upset and just thought their cold response online was because they were busy playing video games atm.

i went to go share my new fic w/ them and found out they blocked me. So it was what i thought. They genuinely didnt care or was annoyed i guess. Im not gonna ask somebody to speak to them or wonder why they blocked me. Or think that this aquaintance was built on something nefarious.

But im just going to take it in stride and not worry too much about it. Im just glad they werent my only friend and that i didnt heavily depend on them. People acting funny nowadays anyway and life is too short. People are just willing to snuff the light out of people with good intentions, and some are jealous. Some fail to see the good in people that are different. Or theyre just fickle for any reason.

If i'm your friend, we may disagree on things or run in different circles, but im not going to be petty and block you. im petty with strangers i dont agree with or dont know. But no matter how much we disagree i'm not gonna be petty with you if i think youre a cool person. Though maybe this is a teaching moment.

Maybe this is telling me to be more kind and not block people??? But unless we were friends beforehand i wont block you. Im still not going to care too much because the world is too envious and fickle nowadays. If i only got like two online friends then ok. If they betray me then i know that i wasnt meant to befriend others in this life or world. And i guess thats ok.

I was told long ago that i had to accept that not everyone would like me. I was told in church that the world will reject me. So its a soul crushing admission to someone who always wanted friends and a best friend. But im ok if God and Jesus are my besties at this point. If thats how it is, then thats how it is.

But if anybody is nosy and read it up to now, cherish the people in your life online or irl. You never know how important that friendship is to them and how much theyre willing to put up with to be your friend. If theyre a ride or die like me that is forgiving as i am and looks past the negatives. Do not take that person for granted.

Stop taking friendships for granted in general. Because for years i thought i had to change for people. When it was never me who was the problem. A lot of people in my life didnt care and were too fickle. they were jealous. They refused to see me for who i was! And im tired of trying to prove myself to people who are selfish and only care about themselves.

crying! getting rsd because they refuse to text me back! putting up with what felt like abuse and neglect. Im freeing myself for forgiving those who have treated me less than. forgiving people who were jealous or didnt like how i shined my light. i never tried to commit unalive because of how people treated me and im still here watching this world go to crap because too many people pull the "woe is me" crap and only care about themselves.

too many people blame God but dont realize they perpetuate their own demise. they see anything with a semblance of good and assume its bad. Forgetting that i was even a proshipper at one point in my life. i was pro lgbtq+. i was all that s*** even a feminist! Yet when i switch teams and go my own path im bad for it!

If yall think im some horrible person for standing by what i believe even though ive always been first and foremost a lover! not a hater! Then some of you need to reevaluate yourselves and look in the mirror. I know im not perfect! I never was and neither were yall! At least im aware to admit that with my whole chest!

But like i said imma stop blaming people for my issues. Imma stop getting sad when i get rejected. Imma stop worrying why nobody will text me back. if yall fickle like that then maybe its a good thing you left. Maybe this was for both of us to move on. Ive lost alot over the years. i struggle. But im refusing to let anyone take my shine away from me. no more.

you never know loss or rejection until it happens to you. and too many of yall go around like your loner status is bulls*** and that you have more people in your life than you like to admit. or act as if you dont need people to talk to. Either youre very priveledged or miserable pretending to be ok. Especially (lemme just say it) if you dont have God or Jesus in your life.

You try to go for inclusion then ostracize people you have your own bias or prejudices against. Liars and hypocrites! Then i cant speak my mind because its wrong to believe something "my oppressors" believed. Its not the religion its the people! Its not the race its the people! When you take away politics, race, sexual orientation, disability, gender, etc. Its the person. Its the people who hate. The individual person. And hate isnt exclusive to people who oppress you. You and your community can hate too. You just dress it up as ✨️prejudice✨️ you cant fight fire w fire. You can put evil against evil!

Yet here i am. I'm willing to put all that aside. Im willing to get slapped, neglected, spat on, and abused to learn the true meaning of forgiveness and what it means to forgive. what it means to turn the other cheek and rise above hate and evil. Like after all after we die none of this trivial mess will matter at all. And if yall are sick of injustices, sick of how people treat each other, sick of the evil bulls***. Then why not rise above it and do better?

Also self reflection is a good thing. When you start wanting to live life with better principles and a better heart its always a good thing! and the best thing to learn from all this is that you'll never know if your friends are on opposing sides until you bring up stuff like politics and religion. Stop making that your identity and talk about your favorite shows and anime. gravitate to likeminded people. And learn to agree to disagree or walk away.

But with me im just built different. I'll befriend anyone until they talk about hate for something or blaspheming God. Even then im patient because im aware not everyone thinks like me. And im constantly misunderstood. Even though i could go for others who think like me, im willing to befriend people that dont agree with me and show them the most love. Some i wouldnt like to interact with but i'll still love from a distance.

Love is suppose to conquer all right? thats what its all about? So i'll do that. i'll love. i'll forgive even people who wrong me. I'll never stop trying to be the best version of me. this planet can suck an egg if it thinks im going to crumble and become bitter. im going to be that annoying positive person from now on. Because insurance companies dont care about getting me therapy and i still know a bit about cognitive behavioral therapy to know that with christianity it can work. By God it will.

Yall are not going to make me bitter and sad like yall. im sorry. I actually wanna live and go somewhere where im not suffering. And im not a masochist. I got too much to live for. Your feelings about me dont dictate me or my life.

i love you, i hope things work out for you, i wish the best for you. And take care of yourself! I hope someday you'll come to the realization i came to and treat people even the ones you hate. With love, compassion, and understanding. And i hope you'll find happiness and freedom from being the way you are now.

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mantictiger · 1 year

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I'm sorry if you're one of my 8 followers and dont give two shits about my relationship, but i dont want to bother my irl friends and make them feel like they need to pick sides or something, and my online friends are all asleep (or should all be asleep, anyway) so ive resorted to tumblr dot com to vent my problems

if you're interested in my meaningless life, well im not sure why you are, but just continue under the cut

(cw for general vent content. Also as much as this is a vent i wont be sharing any personal feelings or events besides ones that just involved me

im sorry to talk so much about this but its tearing me up inside, so here we go

I dont even know where to start. Like somehow after the shitshow that was all this we're still not officially broken up, and this isnt the first time this has happened. every 2-3 months or so we get into a big argument, and it always goes like this: catalyst, pouring out of built up emotions (anger version), pouring out of emotions (sad version), tearful apologies, and promises to do better. And we do try to do better, or at least i do. im not sure if she's trying. like she's told me she wants this relationship to work but i feel like im putting in all the effort to communicate and actually make it work and she just wants to do the cutsey couple stuff without the effort.

And im just so tired of this cycle, and im just wondering if itd be better if we broke up and did our own things, because we seem to want very different things in life.

And i know, i wasnt going to meet my soulmate at fucking fourteen, but we had something good for a while, right? or maybe it wasnt good from the beginning, maybe we're just a bit too different, too distant, yet too codependent at the same time. maybe it was always bad and not going to work and we just didnt see it, and maybe i couldve avoided this by not dating them at all, but its too late for that and i dont know what to do

#im sorry #i think i had more to say but im tired #so so goddamn tired #homo milk vents

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easy-baked-oven · 2 years

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#im doing so well #FUCK! !!!!!!#anyways all is well #******** ***** *** **** *** **** *** ****#that is so exausting #i think i am properly going to make a vent blog #i am experiencing SO MUCH!!!!#im literally like! crying!#i don't know what to do with any of it!!#so i am just repressing it and it's coming back in very destructive ways i think #and i cannot write about it because i cannot write about anything !!!!!!!#i cannot DO anything!!!!!!#but i can post about it on tumblr !!!!#and the only two people who follow me #hi ethan and olivia if ur lurking in my tags say hey #(but also)#if you know me irl and you see this no you don't and no you aren't #cannot see this information because it means i am real and experiencing things and then they will KNOW #that i am not doing well #they will know.#i am doing so well. actually. if either of you are reading this.#i cannot do this

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