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squishmallow36 · 2 years

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Keeper of the Lost Prepositions - Eight

Word count: 1.9k

Tw: Fitz is a mess

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added / removed): @stellar-lune @ichor-on-my-hands @kamikothe1and0lny @nyxpixels @snowflakewolves @poppinspop @crystallinewalker @uni-seahorse-572 @tiergan-andrin-alenefar @books-over-boys @florida-llama-46 @when-wax-wings-melt @k00laidcrush @bowlcut-boyfriends @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizznee

On Ao3 or below the cut! Other chapters can be found here

“Dex, have the triplets ever been to the Forbidden Cities?” Wonderboy asks, watching my human-inspired laptop.

“Of course not, but may I inquire as to why you are asking?” I reply, not even looking up from my gadget on which I’m working.

“Why are we going all Shakespearian today?”

“Well, clearly we aren’t,” I snap back, gesturing to the two of us, “and it wasn’t even Shakespearian. And since when do you know who Shakepeare even is?”

His mouth formed two different words before settling on, “I was asking if the triplets had ever been to the Forbidden Cities because this movie has redheaded triplets that remind me of some redheaded triplets that we might know.”

“Wait, really?” I inquire, leaning over so I can see.

They aren’t there at that exact moment, and I’m tempted to go back to working on my gadget.

I don’t have a name until Hunkyhair names them most of the time. I have a list of things for him to name if—no, when—he wakes up.

The Twiggler-cache is definitely on that list.

“See, Dex, it’s Lex, Bex, and Rex.” Fitz says, sounding very proud of himself, pointing at three animated bipedal bear cubs with cartoonishly large heads.

Needless to say, I shoot Wonderboy a glance that proposes, “Are you losing your mind?”

That’s the second time I’ve done that. Today. I think it’s time to consider it as a possibility.

“Remember? They were turned into bears? No? Nothing?” he sighs, and I’m still contemplating my earlier revelation.

I shake my head. “I guess I was just focused on my gadget. I’m not even sure what I’m trying to do with it.”

“How is it possible that you got that immersed in your work?”

“I think part of it is me being a Technopath. I don’t understand anything you Telepaths do. Or any other ability for that matter. You can ignore the entire world while being all Captain Cognate. Another part is my habit of listening to music all the time and I have missed a whole bunch of songs in a row, some of which I was kinda disappointed because they were some of my favourites. Who am I kidding? Most of the music to which I listen is my favourite. Then there’s the fact that I’m not used to working while other people are near me. I mean, Tinker is usually near me but we don’t really collaborate all that much. And everyone else just ignores me until they need something. And...I made that much more of a monologue than I intended…” I trail off, not sure how to continue.

Fitz apparently doesn’t know what to say either, and an awkward silence stretches between us, the movie playing softly in the background.

I grab a gadget with which to fiddle and watch the movie. It is kind of hard to understand the entire thing when you start watching halfway through and are still trying to learn English.

Literally every single rule has an exception. I’ve yet to find a rule that doesn’t have an exception, other than that rule itself. The Enlightened Language isn’t much better in those terms, but at least it’s instinctual.

I’m not even going to get into words, like cough and through, that should rhyme but for some reason don’t. There’s a lot of examples.

I should make a polyglot translation gadget. That would make everything easier. Humans have one, so why shouldn’t I?

I mean, it’s pretty unreliable most of the time and it only has human languages but at least it’s a start.

Approximately a half hour later, the movie ends and Fitz is right about the triplets.

Although I’m not sure how the red hair works. The mom has dark hair, and unless humans have different genetics to the point that the basic principles are completely different, the dark hair gene would be dominant. For any of the kids to have red hair, the mom would have to have the red hair gene, and that would have half a chance for each of the kids to have red hair.

Therefore, there is only a twenty-five percent chance that both Merida and the triplets would have red hair, assuming that the triplets are identical. If not, then it could be as low as a six-point-two-five percent chance that all four kids have red hair.

Why am I getting so invested in arguing with the logic of a human movie that already doesn’t have much of a basis of being realistic? People can’t just turn into bears with an elixir as far as I know, and, also, the appearance elixirs at the store aren’t permanent.

Before I can find another reason to argue with the movie because it isn’t realistic, Fitz says, “I should probably get going. You know Biana. She’s probably assumed some interesting things.”

His voice cracks, and I see he’s blinking hard. A tear breaks free and ambles its way down to his jaw.

I guess he tried to use the ultimate Keefe worry deflection method. And we’ve seen how well that works.

Remember when I said the hug earlier today was the most awkward ever? I think we might have a new record or at least a runner-up.

I pull him into another hug, this time burying his head into my other shoulder so then his face isn’t smushed into the snot from earlier.

I’m not really sure what to do, so I went with the most logical options my brain gave me, even though I’m blushing so hard by now that my brain might be overheating.

Did you know that his hair is even softer than Keefe’s?

Don’t ask.

I play with his hair a little bit and rub slow circles onto his back until he pulls away from the hug again. It can’t have been more than a minute or two but I must’ve whispered “It’s going to be okay” and the like into his ear a thousand times.

He flops back onto the bed and faintly whispers, “I’m sorry—” but I couldn’t let him apologize.

“No, don’t apologize. It isn’t your fault that you have a functional limbic system—” and he cuts me off before I can go into a whole speech about not blaming yourself.

Let’s just say I have a lot of practice convincing people, myself especially, that it isn’t your fault.

“I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess. I shouldn’t have dumped all this on you. I just figured that you would understand.”

I clearly hear Grizel snort, even through a closed door.

Wonderboy reluctantly admits, “And also you were the person that was hardest to eliminate from the list of our friends. I can’t exactly go to Biana because she’s Biana and would make this a whole huge thing. Keefe’s in the Healing Centre and he is just a tiny bit unconscious so...” he trails off and I know he’s thinking about Foster being there.

He shakes his head slightly as if to clear it and continues, “I’m pretty sure Tam wouldn’t care and I doubt he would trust me with talking to Linh. I know I wouldn’t if I was him.”

I raise my hand like in a human school to ask a question. Fitz looks confused, but he stops talking which is good enough.

“Is now a bad time to correct your usage of pronoun case?” I ask, which is a very important question.

“Uhh...No...” he answers slowly, a little perplexed by my question.

“You said, ‘I was him’, correct?” I wait for him to nod before continuing, “The problem is that the verb ‘was’ is a linking verb, which means that the pronoun ‘him’ is the subject complement. This wouldn’t be an issue, except for the fact that ‘him’ is an object pronoun and you need a subject pronoun. Because it’s a subject complement.”

“So...” he asks, waiting for me to finish, smiling softly.

“So you need to use the pronoun ‘he’ instead of the pronoun ‘him’ so the grammatically correct sentence would be ‘I was he.’”

“And why was that important for me to know?”

“It wasn’t; but it bothered me so I thought you should know,” I reply.

“If I can continue with my reasoning—” he stops again when I shake my head.

“First of all, it’s ‘If I may continue’ yada yada yada, and second of all, I don’t need to know why you came to me. I just need to know that you did. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure if you considered me a friend.”

“I really should get going. Biana’s probably hypothesising why I’m not at Everglen or with Keefe.”

“Biana is working on something with Stina for Team Valiant, not really sure what though. I didn’t pay attention because it wasn’t my assignment. And even if I did know, I wouldn’t be technically allowed to tell you—cue Lovise threats—but I think we all know it’s only a matter of time until you’re Lord Fitzroy.”

I somehow maintain a straight face until I meet his eyes. We both burst into laughter because seriously, Lord Fitzroy.

“What do you think my parents were thinking?” Wonderboy chokes out between laughs.

“Why would you think I would know?” I retort back.

“Because you seem to know literally everything somehow.”

“I doubt that. But, I am pretty sure the name Fitzroy means ‘son of the king’ in French. Fitz provides the ‘son of’ and Roy comes from ‘le roi,’ the king. Before you ask, yes, it can be a human name, albeit an extremely uncommon one. And I think I remember your Mom saying that she’s walked among humans or something like that so that probably also influenced their choice.”

“How, exactly, do you think you don’t know everything?” Wonderboy asks, and I have to suppress an incredulous laugh, “And, also, how do you know that?”

“Partially from a name origin website, and it was also in a human TV show. Yes, really. And I have a lot of free time plus I have the Internet. I don’t know why my brain remembers random things, but it does. What did I do yesterday? No idea. What random thing did I read like three years ago? Did you know that strawberries aren’t berries but watermelons are?”

Lovise knocks on the door and pokes her head inside. I’m actually kind of grateful that she trusts me enough to stand outside. I can talk to myself without her staring at me.

She says, “Dex, it’s close to dinner time. I would get downstairs before the triplets do anything to either your food, drink, or that one time they glued you to your seat. As much as I would love a recreation of that day, I doubt you would.”

“I should let you get to that. I don’t want to be more of a bother than I already am. And before you start arguing with me on that, remember Keefe’s my best friend and I know all the tricks to argue for hours on end,” Wonderboy says, and I really want to argue with him.

Grizel adds, “I would trust him on that. I still remember the day when they stayed up all night arguing about whether or not the sun is a planet.”

It takes way too much self-control to not laugh. “And...who won?” I ask.

“I will let you know.” Grizel answers at the same time Fitz says, “I did.”

Fitz, not wanting to get into another never ending argument, digs out his home crystal and holds it up to the light. Grizel puts her hand on his shoulder and they glitter away.

#kotlc #detz

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prettyboyjackhughes · 3 years

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-Little Crosby- |D. Cozens| [Part 3]

Part 3! Honestly, I think this might be my favorite part so far! But thank you for all the support and love you guys have given this story so far! Also, thanks to @prettyboycozens for all her amazing ideas and support she’s given me! Let me know what you guys think! Enjoy!

Also, here’s the link for the playlist again!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4HG4PMWBlx3woCb5T33wXY?si=28fe34362e8b4442

Dylan and I spent almost every free minute I had together after that night. Dad’s busy with business things and the uncles have been doing God knows what all day, every day. So really, Carter and I have spent the last week of our trip by ourselves. Dad actually decided we’re going to stay in Toronto for the rest of the month and the first half of next month, giving me more time with Dylan. Taylor went to visit some college friends back in Nova Scotia and had offered to take us with her, since Grandma and Grandpa were there but we decided to stay in Toronto. Carter and Kirby were together just as much, but they mainly just made out and cuddled.

As the 4 of us pile into Kirby’s car to go get ice cream late one Friday night, Carter and Kirby in the front seat, and Dylan and I in the backseat, Dylan won’t let go of my hand.

“Dill Pickle, I’m not going anywhere. You can let go.” I say, patting his knee as Kirby starts the car. Dill Pickle is the nickname I started calling him the other day and have now decided it’s his new nickname.

“Nope, I like it better this way.” He says, tugging me across the seat so I’m closer to him. As we start to drive, Carter starts to play music, gracing us with her awesome DJ skills.

“This is shitty music.” Kirby says, looking over at Carter. Her brow furrows.

“If you want what we talked about later, you’ll shut up and deal with my shitty music.” She says, leaning towards him. He smirks and leans over to steal a kiss. I attempt to keep my eyes from rolling and look over at Dylan who is paying no attention to anything going on in the car.

“What even is this?” Kirby asks, his hand slipping over between Carter’s thighs. Their relationship is much more physical than Dylan and mine is. And honestly, I’m okay with that. I like taking things slow with Dylan.

“This is the wonderful, amazing, talented band One Direction who happens to be the loves of Ava and I’s lives.” Carter says, looking back at me with a smile. I nod and Dylan suddenly rejoins the conversation.

“I know this song!” He says, tapping on my hand with his thumb. I laugh and lean my head on his shoulder.

“I have loved you since we were 18…” He sings terribly. I laugh as he looks up at me. And as he looks up at me, my heart flutters. The words he just sang register in my mind.

“Oh wow.” I mutter, shifting away from Dylan.

“What? What’s wrong?” He asks, sitting up and looking over at me.

“N-Nothing. No I’m okay.” I say as Kirby pulls the car into a parking spot at the ice cream place. Carter glances back, checking to see that I’m okay and I nod quickly, keeping my hand clutched in Dylan’s.

“What ice cream are you gonna get? I think I might get…” Dylan says, his voice trailing off. Carter and Kirby walk inside but Dylan pulls me to a stop.

“Hey, Avs. You okay?” He asks, wrapping his arms around my waist and looking at me.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” He raises an eyebrow and looks down at me.

“You’re freaking over something, I can tell.” I shake my head, attempting to step back away from him.

“Ava, come on. Tell me.” Dylan asks, his eyes begging.

“You said that you love me. Earlier. In the song? I-I didn’t think we were there yet. I mean, we aren’t even together yet!” I say, finally bursting. Dylan steps back, a confused look on his face.

“Wait, Ava, you’re freaking out over that?” He says, looking down at me.

“I know it’s stupid and that I shouldn’t be freaking out but I am!” I say, throwing my hands up in the air. He pulls them down, trapping my fingers between his.

“Ava, Ava! It’s okay! You want to know how I feel? What’s happened between us over the last month? I never thought I’d fall this hard for someone, especially someone who just appeared in my life. You’re...You’re the most important thing to me and I love being around you. You’re beautiful and funny, sometimes.” He says, looking down and smirking at me. I roll my eyes and he starts to talk again.

“I guess what I’m saying is, I want you to be my girlfriend. But I need to be honest. What I’m saying is, I don’t not love you.” My heart falls, just for a second, but then I realize what he just said.

“You jerk! I love you too.” I say, swatting his shoulder as he pulls me in and hugs me to his chest.

“Now that you know that, can we please go get ice cream?” He asks before he presses his lips to my cheek. I nod and we walk into the ice cream parlor. Kirby and Carter and huddled in a corner booth, both eating their ice cream. Carter rushes over to me as I tell Dylan that I want a vanilla milkshake.

“You two took forever. Did you get lost?” She asks, nudging me as Dylan orders for the two of us. Carter and I head back towards the table Kirby is sitting at. As we reach him, he stands up and plants a kiss on Carter’s lips.

“Mmm, you taste like chocolate.” She says. I turn to look back at Dylan who is now licking his ice cream and hands me my milkshake.

“Can we go to that park out by the pond?” I ask, looking over at Dylan next to me. He looks over at Kirby who nods.

“I call the car!” Kirby says, nudging Dylan as we walk out to the car. Carter looks over at me with an evil grin on her face. I roll my eyes and sling my arm over her shoulders.

“Be responsible kids!” I say as we climb in the car. Kirby laughs and shakes his head.

We’re all pretty quiet on the drive over to the park, finishing our ice cream. The only noise is the radio playing quietly and the noises from my straw. We pull into the parking lot of the park, which the sign says closes at dark but there’s no one around to stop us from going in. Dylan leads me out of the car and we settle on the ground next to some trees.

“You know you get the most boring ice cream in the entire world, right?” Dylan says, nudging me as I curl into his chest.

“Mhm. What did you end up getting?” I ask, looking at him as he eats the last bite of his cone.

“It was some Hawiian island thing. Pretty good but not the best thing I’ve had.” He says, smiling down at me as I glanced up at him. His eyes find mine and then flick down to my lips. I climb onto his lap and wrap my arms around his neck.

“You’re pretty.” He says as his lips brush against mine.

“You’re a cutie.” I say as his lips finally hit mine. It takes my breath away in a second. It’s everything I wished it would be and more. He knows exactly what to do and it makes my mind race. But the longer it goes on, the harder it gets for me to breath.

“Hold on hold on.” I gasp, pulling away from Dylan.

“I-I can’t breath.” I choke out. He looks at me, concerned. As I gasp, his face goes from concerned to terrified.

“Carter!” He yells, looking between me and the car. Somehow she hears him and gets out of the car. As I sit there, struggling to breath and choking every breath out, Carter starts to yell in spanish at Dylan, something she does when she’s stressed or angry.

“¿Qué sucedió? ¿Qué le hiciste a ella?” She yells, running towards us. Kirby gets out behind her, his hair messed up.

“I don’t know what you’re saying. Don’t yell at me!” He yells back.

“¡Idiota, llama a su papá o al 911 o algo así!” She yells again. Kirby finally steps up and is the voice of reason.

“Either call her dad or call 911! Don’t just stand there!” Dylan finally snaps out of shock and grabs my phone. Dad and all my uncles’ numbers are in my emergency contacts. So all he has to do is slide the lock screen and press Dad’s name.

“It’s ringing! Oh God.” He says, holding his hand up and showing everyone how much he’s shaking.

“Hi, um I’m your daughter’s boyfriend, Dylan. Um we’re taking her to the hospital. Because I think she’s having an allergic reaction.” He says, running his hand through his hair. He glances between me and Carter, a terrified look on his face.

“Yes Sir. Yes Sir. I’ll have Carter text you what hospital. Okay, bye.” He sticks my phone in his pocket then helps me to my feet as I fight for every breath. The next 45 minutes are a complete blur. Kirby rushes us to the hospital where Dad and all the uncles are all waiting. I get rushed into the emergency room and everyone else has to wait in the waiting room. It turns out I was having a severe allergic reaction to coconut, which happened to be in the ice cream Dylan had. When he kissed me, it triggered the allergy. Somehow, in the last 18 years, I managed to avoid coconut. But the doctors decided to keep me at the hospital overnight since I was still struggling to breath a little. They were also worried that I might have another reaction. Dad and everyone was allowed in to see me after the doctor decided I was somewhat stable for the night. Everyone else tells me how happy they are that I’m okay and everything. Dylan gets a few minutes alone with me and presses a kiss to my forehead.

“Avs, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I’ll make it up to you.” He says, his eyes sad. I smile and pat his hand.

“I wanna kiss you but I messed that up last time. So we’ll try that again another time. But I can hug you.” He pulls me into his chest and I sigh.

“Hey, Baby, don’t worry about it. It wasn’t your fault. I didn’t even know either so it wasn’t your fault.” I say as Dad walks back in. Dylan looks up and nods.

“Ava needs to get some rest now. Dylan, Kirby and Carter are heading back home. You might want to go with them.” He says, crossing his arms. Dad walks back out of the room, leaving Dylan and I alone to say goodbye.

“He’s mad.” I say, sighing.

“It’s because of me, isn’t it? I’m sorry Avs.” I shake my head.

“Nope, this is because of me. I decided not to tell him. Don’t worry about it, Dill Pickle.” I say, smiling. He kisses my forehead again and says goodbye.

I somehow manage to sleep a little that night but wake up in a terrible mood. The food at the hospital sucks and the only sustainable thing I’ve eaten in the last 24 hours was the milkshake last night.

Dad still isn’t speaking to me. Which I understand why he’s upset. I mean, I did almost die less than 24 hours ago. But the reason why he isn’t talking to me is because of Dylan, not because I almost died.

“I can’t believe you went behind your dad’s back! What were you thinking, Little Crosby?” Kris asks, sitting on the side of the hospital bed I’ve spent the night in.

“Okay, calm down. This wasn’t entirely her fault. Yeah it was dumb to sneak out of trhe hotel with a boy none of us knew but she didn’t know she was allergic to coconut. But you definitely should not have been kissing that boy.” Marc says, looking down at me with a glare. Carter sits in the corner, on her phone and silent. My family is scattered around the room, with Dad standing in the doorway of the room. The doctor said I should be able to go home tonight. Dad decided we were just going to spend the rest of the month up in Toronto, after my “little stunt” last night. Dad also has my phone, meaning that if Dylan has texted or called, I didn’t know.

“What were you thinking?” Dad finally asks, taking a few steps towards the bed. Suddenly everyone clears out of the room.

“I was thinking that the boy I like wanted to spend time with me. And I wanted to spend time with him. But you wouldn’t like that so I went behind your back.” Dad scoffs.

“Ava, you have to talk to me about things! We’ve never had problems like this before. I thought we were closer than this.” Dad says, sitting down on the bed next to me.

“Dad, I wanted to! I tried to! But you were convinced that the only guys I needed were you, my uncles and Grandpa. You basically told me that having a boyfriend was out of the question! What was I supposed to do?” His hand rests on my knee, and he looks at me hard.

“Honey, I just want to protect you.” He says, stroking my knee.

“You’ve never been like this. You’ve always let me figure things out on my own. You’ve let me do it on my own because I was smart and could handle it. But now all of the sudden, you’ve decided to get protective?” I ask, crossing my arms and pulling my knees up into my chest.

“My little girl is growing up before my eyes. You’re not gonna need me anymore and it’s hard to let go of you. All I can think about is how it used to just be me and you. Remember all the things we did during the first few seasons in Pittsburgh?” I swallow, watching Dad, whose eyes are starting to tear up. My mind wanders to one of the few memories I have from those first few years.

I was 4 when Dad played his first season in the NHL. He moved the two of us into an apartment in downtown Pittsburgh right at the beginning of training camp. I don’t remember much from the first few seasons. But one story Dad tends to avoid, is the one that sticks out in my memory the most. If it ever gets brought up, I always pretend I don’t remember it because it’s a hard topic for Dad.

Right before his first road trip, one where my grandparents would be keeping me for the week, he took me out for a daddy-daughter day. We got pizza for lunch, played at the park, visited the arena that would become Dad and my second home, bought me my first Penguins jersey with Crosby spelled out proudly across the back, had ice cream twice, and just got to spend time together. But then she showed up. For the first time in 4 years, my mom walked back into our life.

“Sid! Sidney Crosby!” She called across the restaurant. Dad looked up, his eyes confused and stormy.

“What are you doing here, Jenna?” He asked, standing up and crossing his arms. I sat there, happily eating my cheese pizza. I was completely oblivious to what was going on above me.

“I wanted to see you! And my little girl!” She said, rushing to him and hugging him. He stiffens and pushes her away.

“You haven’t wanted anything to do with us for the past 4 years. Why now all of the sudden?” He asked, staring her down.

“I decided I want to be in my little girl’s life. Things are getting busy for you now, Sid. You won’t have time to take care of Ava the way she needs. I can.” He scoffs.

“Besides, she’s my little girl. I know how to raise her. You don’t want her weighing you down now that you’re going to be a big NHL star.” Dad puts his hand up, forcing her to stop speaking. He looks down at me, at the pizza sauce covering my face and the front of my shirt. But the thing that stops him is the huge smile I have covering my face when I look up and see him.

“Hi Daddy. Love you.” I say, blowing him a kiss. His glare softens and he looks back up at my mom.

“You’re not taking her, Jenna. You haven’t been in her life for 4 years. I’ve raised her by myself for 4 years because you decided you didn’t want to be a mom anymore. Why would things change now? You don’t get to decide when you want to be a mother and when you don’t.” Mom reels back, baffled.

“You’re trying to tell me whether or not I can be a mother? To my own daughter? You’ve gotta be kidding me, Sid!” And as she starts to cause a scene, Dad seems to grow 10 feet and stares her down.

“No Jenna. You don’t get to do this to us again. You’ll just walk out on her again and I’m not putting my little girl through that. Get out. You’re not allowed to see her.” Of course, Mom threw a fit, claiming she was going to take him to court for custody. She had to be escorted out by security. Dad’s PR team did a really good job with everything, keeping the court case under wraps and making sure nothing got out about Mom’s fit at the restaurant. That was pretty much the start of Dad hiding me away from the world until I was old enough to understand his world that he lived in. Dad obviously ended up winning custody, considering the fact that he had raised me since I was born, with no help from my mom. I spent a lot of time in Minnesota with my grandparents during Dad’s first season. He wanted me with him but he didn’t want me to see everything going on with my mom. But in the end, that was what was best for Dad and I. During my times in Minnesota was when he got close with the men who I now call my uncles. Once I was a little older, Dad sat me down and explained everything to me. He explained why Mom wasn’t in the picture at all, how my uncles came to be my uncles and the fact that during that first season, he considered just signing custody over to Grandma and Grandpa. He had convinced himself that he couldn’t give me what I needed, just like Mom had said. He told me how Geno, Kris and Marc had sat him down and talked him out of it, reminding me how much he loved me and the fact that every goal, every assist; every little thing he did on the ice was because of a little girl almost a thousand miles in Minnesota. And to this day, he reminds me that he’s never regretted the decision to keep his little girl with him.

Ever since then, Dad made sure I knew that he loved me more than anything else and would give up the world and everything else for me. He made sure that I was surrounded by people who would love me and take care of me, the same way he would. Everything Dad has done since I was little, he’s made sure it’s been the best option for both of us. Nothing was ever about him.

But then one day I asked him why he and Mom never worked out. He got this faraway look in his eyes and I almost wondered if he would actually start talking.

“Honey, your mom and I weren’t meant to be together in the future. She was the type of girl that everyone warns you about. The one that’ll break your heart, no matter what. I was away from my parents for the first time and we were stupid. We were young. Too young to be as reckless as we were. But I was convinced I loved her. Do I regret what happened? No because you know why? It gave me you and you are the light of my life, Sweet girl.” Dad said, suddenly coming back to reality and looking down at me.

“Daddy, I’m always going to need you. You’re my dad. I couldn’t imagine my life without you. But this is something that was bound to happen. Daddy, Dylan won’t hurt me. He cares about me. He didn’t mean for what happened last night to happen. I want you to meet him, Dad.” Dad’s eyes are still shining.

“Dad, I’ve actually found someone I really like. He’s kind, smart, sweet, genuine; everything you would want me to have in a guy. He’s got the worst sense of humor, just like you. He takes care of me, I mean he did get me to the hospital. But Daddy, you’ll always be the first man that really loved me. And nothing will ever change that. You held me so tight, now it’s someone else’s turn. ” He smiles, his features soft and a few tears slipping out.

“Baby, you know you’ll always be my little girl.” He says, hugging me to his chest. I wrap my arms around him and take a deep breath of his smell. He smells familiar; like my childhood.

“Hey Ava? There’s someone here to see you…” Carter says, walking in and knocking on the door frame. A few feet behind her, Dylan stands with a bouquet of flowers.

“Hey Avs…” He says, his voice trailing off as he makes eye contact with Dad. Dad stands up and crosses his arms.

“Dad, meet Dylan Cozens. Dill Pickle, this is my dad, Sidney Crosby.” Dylan reaches his hand out and Dad shakes it.

“Nice to meet you sir.” Dad nods, his face straight. Slowly, everyone starts to trickle back into the room. I glance towards the door and see Carter and Kirby in the hallway, obviously discussing something. He leans down and catches her chin in his hand and pulls her in for a kiss. Dad and the uncles have started their interrogation of Dylan, which he seems to be handling very well. He looks over at me and winks, which makes my heart melt. After a few minutes, he manages to get away and settles onto the bed next to me.

“Can I kiss you now?” He whispers in my ear and I turn to look at him with a smile.

“As long as you haven’t eaten any coconut lately.” He laughs and leans in.

“If it means I can’t kiss you, then I’m never eating coconut anything again.” He whispers against my lips. My heart melts and I realise just how hard I’ve fallen for Dylan Cozens. Harder than I’ve ever planned on falling for anyone. He easily has my entire heart.

Tag list:

@theblushinglittle

@2manytabsopen

@nhlboyshavemyhart88

@kirbyy-dach

#sidney crosby #dylan cozens #nhl #nhl hockey #nhl imagine #Dylan Cozens imagine #hockey imagine #nhl fanfiction #hockey #hockey boys #kirby dach

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

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survey by xflirtykaosx

Alphabetti Spaghetti (2/3) F o r e v e r - y o u r s - F Do you fancy any celebrities? If so, who? Alexander Skarsgard.

Do you watch any FBI shows? Which ones? Nope.

Have you ever been to a festival? Which one? Yeah, a couple local ones.

Do you have a fireplace in your house? Yes.

Do you have a hot flask? I do not.

What decade were you four in? The 90s.

Do you like the TV show Friends? I never got into it like everyone else seemed to.

Do you like the feeling of cat fur? If petting a cat, sure. Not when it’s all over my clothes.

Go girl, go; G Do you have a back garden? No.

Do you have a gentle touch? Uhh I don’t know.

Do you like girly programmes like Gossip Girl? Not that one in particular, but I like other shows some might consider “girly.”

Do you ever use gloves? If I need to for some reason.

Do you prefer gold or silver? I like both.

Are you a greedy person? What makes you greedy? I’m sure I can be in some ways.

Have you ever seen a gypsy? No.

Hold on honey, I'm here. - H Do you have any bad habits? What? I have a lot of bad habits. One is face picking, which I’ve been doing more lately due to stress and anxiety. :/

Do you know anyone called Helen? No.

Have you ever watched a documentary about Hitler? Probably for school.

Do you put hm in a lot of your survey answers? I thought you said “him” and was referring to Hitler and I was like uh, no?? Anyway, yeah I do say that a lot.

When was the last time you went to hospital? What was it for? For myself, it was back in September 2012 for surgery.

Do you like HP (Harry Potter)? Who's your favourite character? Yeah. I wasn’t a hardcore fan, but I did enjoy the movies.

Do you spell it honey or hunny? “Honey.”

Are you afraid of this Swine Flu Hype? I was. That was a big thing at the time. We had no idea COVID would be coming, though...

In the end we all die broken. - I Have you ever been to Ibiza? I took a pill in Ibiza actually to show Avicii I was cool. Ha, if you know, you know. Anyway, no, I have not.

Do you take ice in your soda/fizzy drinks? I don’t care for ice to be honest, but if I get a drink from a restaurant or fast food place I’ll just say light ice. I never use ice otherwise.

Who do you think is a complete idiot? Me.

Do you often wonder what if? Only all the time.

Have you ever seen an Igloo? I haven’t.

Do you get ill often? Yes.

Do you ever imagine you were not human? What did you imagine you were? No, not seriously. Only when surveys ask what animal you’d be or something.

Do you like sexual innuendos? Not really my thing.

What is your IQ? Above average. Those things don’t really mean much, though.

Do people often call you irrational? Not that I’m aware of.

Do you think the name Isis is pretty? Sure.

Do you get itchy eyeballs? Yeah. Gotta love seasonal allergies.

Do you know what ix stands for in roman numerals? 9.

Just breathe baby, breathe. - J Have you ever been in jail? No.

Do you like JD (Jack Daniels)? Nope. Or any alcohol.

Do you get jealous easily? I haven’t felt jealous in a very long time.

Do you tell a lot of jokes? No. I very, very rarely tell jokes. I don’t even recall the last time.

Do you finish school/college in June? I graduated college back in May of 2015.

Kiss me, kill me, thrill me. - K Do you know a girl called Karla? I did in middle school.

Did you watch Kenan and Kel? I haven’t in a long time, but yeah I did.

Do you prefer kisses or hugs? I mean, it depends. Although, right now I’m not feeling up for either. I just feel gross.

Do you like Korn? I liked a couple songs.

Do you like watching films with Kung Fu in them? No.

Lessons learnt the hard way are the best I've ever had. - L Do you like Lady Gaga? I like a few of her songs.

When was the last time you had lemonade? I’m not sure, but I know it’s been quite a long time.

Do you ever lie to save your own skin? It’s happened.

Do you think llamas are cute? Sure.

Do you use Lol a lot? No.

Do you think you are lucky or unlucky? Well, I don’t believe in luck.

Melody in my heartstrings. - M Do you like Mac and Cheese? Yeah.

Do you ever eat at McDonald’s? What's your usual? Not often, but if I do I’ll either get their breakfast burritos and hash browns or a Big Mac and fries.

Do you like Medieval games like 7elda? Nah.

What's on your mind right now? What I want to try and eat for lunch.

Is money in your opinion, the root of all evil? It’s part of it.

Do you like Mr and Mrs the show? I don’t know what that is.

Do you read murder mystery books? Which ones? Yes. That’s all I’ve been reading for the past couple years. I’ve read a ton.

Do you find Mystical stuff fascinating? That’s never really been my thing.

Nobody loves me, what a change. - N Do you know the name of your local shopkeeper? We don’t have those here.

Have you ever been called nerdy? Yeah.

Are you you truly a nice person? I think so, but it hasn’t shown the past few years because I just feel like I’ve been hardened and more shutoff due to reasons.

Do you overuse nouns in your sentences? I’ve never thought about it.

Do you know anyone personally who is a nurse? No.

Only you - it always has been. - O Do you obey authority or deliberately disobey it? I think I’m pretty law-abiding.

Is there anything in your room that is an Octagon? What is it? *shrug* I’m not spending time looking for something.

What odor can you smell in the room you're in now? Nothing at the moment.

Do you get offended easily? I think sensitive would be a more fitting word. <<< Same. I’ve always been sensitive, but damn it’s been bad.

Have you ever been to Ohio? No.

Do you ever say Oi? Not regularly, but yeah I’ve said that.

Do you spell it OK or okay? “Okay.”

Are you older than the number day you were born on? Yes.

Have you ever watched the film the Omen? Nope.

Name one thing you always have taken for granted? It’s just crazy looking back when I thought things were bad and it was nothing compared the last 6 years. It doesn’t seem nearly as bad now and I’m like damn, I’d take that over this.

Have you ever had an operation? On what? I’ve had several.

Do you like things in a set order or doesn't it matter? I need some order.

Do you have a habit of overreacting? Ohhh, yes.

Do you think Owls are nice? I don’t know.

Do you know what an Oxymoron is? I do.

Have you ever tried Oyster? No, and I have no interest in trying it.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #categories #abcs

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blackcatsims · 4 years

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Get To Know Me Tag <3

I was tagged by @tabbyrhsims4simblr and @racingllama in a couple of different get to know me tag type games, so I decided to respond with this hybrid by racing llama <3 which includes all the questions I was asked! Thanks for the tags guys, they made my day!!

Name / Nickname : Alexandria/Alex

Height : It’s technically 170cm but I’m immature as fuck so I’m gonna go on record and say that it’s actally 169 eyyyyyyyy

Zodiac sign : *adore delano voice* I’m a fucking Libra

Hobbies : Singing, gaming, patting my dog, yelling about feminist theory and treading my slow descent into madness

Favourite colours : Burgundy, plum and brown.

Favourite books : Harry Potter by some terrible white lady, The Slightly True Story of Cedar B. Hartley by Martine Murray, A Prayer For Owen Meany by John Irving, Animorphs by K.A. Applegate (FIGHT ME), The Ancient Future by Traci Harding, the His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman, anything by Jacqueline Wilson but especially The Dare Game and The Illustrated Mum, Chasing After The Wind by Dale Harcombe and Saving Francesca by Melina Marchetta.

Last song listened to : Monday, Monday by the Mamas & the Papas

Inspiration for muse : In the context of this blog, I think my #1 muse would have to be Nola from my Blood Legacy. She’s inspired, as many of you know, by my grandmother - also named Nola.

Dream job : I’d love to be successful enough as a musician to be able to support my family financially, but not successful enough that I became famous. I can hear my therapist’s heart palpitations from here. I’ve actually had a few different dreams in my life so I can keep going! I used to dream of being the owner of a sex shop called “The Love Shack”. I would also love to own a witch shop. Reading tarot cards, drinking tea and being surrounded by candles and incense all day sounds pretty much like heaven to me. I could plug my band in the shop too! It’s all coming together! Haha.

Meaning behind your URL : I’ve answered this one quite a few times before but I never get tired of it! My Mum and I started this blog together back in 20...10??? At the time, my username on the Sims website was BlackWeb6 (that username dates back to when I was an emo kid in high school circa 2005!) and my mum’s username was AliCats. So, naturally, when we decided to start a tumblr blog together for our simming adventures, we named it BlackCatSims!

Cats or dogs? Dog person 100%, but I can appreciate cats. They cute.

YouTube celebrities or normal celebrities? I kind of object to celebrity culture on principle but I must be a hypocrite because there’s heaps of famous musicians I borderline worship like Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse and Mama Cass. So I guess my answer is....normal celebrities? Mostly dead ones? With the exception of Hozier. He’s still alive last I checked. HE’S STILL ALIVE RIGHT?!?!?!

If you could live anywhere where would that be? Rarotonga.

Disney or DreamWorks? I guess I technically have to say Dreamworks since I’ve dedicated my heart and soul to She-Ra and the Princesses of Power??? I’ll have to take my anti-corporation rant elsewhere lest my hypocrisy continue to shine through.

Favorite childhood TV show? ALL ABOARD THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS!!!

The movie you’re looking forward to most in 2020? What’s a movie?

Favorite book you read in 2019? Haha. Uhhh.....does reading Enya lyrics inside a CD insert count?

Marvel or DC? Which one do I hate more? Impossible to answer.

If you choose Marvel favorite member of the X-Men? If you choose DC favorite Justice League member? My fav Spice Girl was Feminism Ginger Spice

Night or Day? Day. I’m solar powered.

Favorite Pokémon? PONYTA FOREVER

Top bands: SO MANY AHHH I LOVE THIS QUESTION!!!! LET’S GO!!!!! *takes a deep breath* Crowded House, R.E.M., Stevie Nicks, Hozier, The Beatles, Nick Cave, Nick Drake, The Cranberries, Tracy Chapman, Eric Clapton, Janis Joplin, The Mamas & The Papas, The Seekers, Leonard Cohen (except his weird “put the pussy on a pedestal” shit like calm down suzanne), Simon & Garfunkel, David Bowie, Paul Kelly, Amy Winehouse, Evanescence (just slipping this one in here inconspicuously), Peter Paul & Mary, Ella Fitzgerald, Blondie (angry horny babe), Enya, Rasputina, Gin Wigmore, Snake River Conspiracy, Within Temptation, Nightwish (Tarja <3), Amy LaVere, t.A.T.u. (never forget the bitches who helped you realize your sexuality) and you know what they’re not real but I’m gonna end this list with one of my favourite bands of all time: JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS!!!!

Top movies: ^^^ Jerkin’! Tretorns are the new Adidas!

America or Europe? Well I’ve never been to America but I’ve seen pictures of that orange cheeto shit-stain ra(c/p)ist who has a lot of money and power for some reason so I’d like to stay as far away from that as possible because it makes me so scared to be alive that i have just decided I am definitely not going to talk about this here next question.

Tumblr or Twitter? Tumblr

Pro-choice or Pro-life? Pro-Choice because I’m not a misogynist or a large smelly poo.

Favorite YouTuber: definitely that band arty-rex they’re great

Favorite author? I dunno man. I haven’t read a book in a while. I like all the ones I listed earlier! I just haven’t read them in ... a while ....,,,,,

Tea or coffee? Both!!! Coffee when I really need to get moving and tea for every other occasion on the planet. Stubbed your toe? Cuppa tea! Found a penny on the street? Cuppa tea! Cuppa tea? Cuppa tea!

OTP? *takes long drag of cigarette* I haven’t heard that acronym in years....

22. Do you play an instrument/sing? Yep :) You can check out me and my Dad’s band on instagram or find us on youtube!

I hereby tag anybody who wants to do this, and @teekalu, @sulanisunrise, @kscriba, @kimmmygibbbler, @stretchskeleton, @ratboysims, @helloduckie, @pxelbeans aaaaaaand @onceuponasimblr <3 <3 <3

#personal #tag #tag meme #personal tag #get to know me tag

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vocalfriespod · 4 years

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What’s in a Name Transcript

Megan Figueroa: Hi, and welcome to the Vocal Fries podcast, the podcast about linguistic discrimination.

Carrie Gillon: I’m Carrie Gillon.

Megan Figueroa: I’m Megan Figueroa. Carrie, Arizona went viral with a running javelina.

Carrie Gillon: Which everyone keeps calling “pigs.”

Megan Figueroa: I’m like, “Have you not read the book Don’t Call Me a Pig? C’mon.”

Carrie Gillon: No, nobody knows outside of Arizona what a javelina is. It does kind of look like a pig although, when it’s running, it looks way less like a pig than normal.

Megan Figueroa: Right? Because pigs don’t run that fast, do they?

Carrie Gillon: Oh, they probably do. Well, at least the smaller ones probably do. I was shocked though when I saw that javelina boot it like that. I was like, how? How? Because I’ve only ever seen them amble at most.

Megan Figueroa: I’ve been semi-chased by a javelina. It wasn’t going that fast. Because I was taking my trash out and boy, do they love the smell of trash. [Laughter] But, yeah, no, I’ve mostly seen them with their little babies and they’re following along, just ambling along very cute-like. If you haven’t seen it, go to the Twitter account “javelina running to.” You can see the javelina running to all sorts of hilarious, perfectly matched songs. Like “Born to Run” by Bruce Springsteen or “Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman. It’s beautiful.

Carrie Gillon: My favorite is “Going the Distance” by Cake. It’s also the first one that I saw, so I’m a little biased.

Megan Figueroa: Well, for some reason, that song is so funny to me just by itself and I don’t know why.

Carrie Gillon: He sounds so unconcerned like he doesn’t give a shit while he’s singing. Yeah.

Megan Figueroa: Okay. Maybe that’s what it is. That is perfect.

Carrie Gillon: I was a nice little bit of light-heartedness. It felt like 2015 when we had both the dress and the escaped llamas. It was a wild, wild day. That javelina running was not quite the same but it felt a little bit more like, “Oh, I remember the good old times and the before times.”

Megan Figueroa: Yes.

Carrie Gillon: When the internet was not just people yelling at each other about their favorite candidate and about how every other candidate sucks.

Megan Figueroa: I know. Well, now I’m like, “Javelina 2020” – “Running javelina 2020.” [Laughter]

Carrie Gillon: Frankly, couldn’t possibly do a worse job than what’s happening right now.

Megan Figueroa: It’s true. Speaking of our fucked-up government, we did a bonus episode, which you can get to by being a Patreon supporter, about this new change in social security disability benefits. They changed a language requirement.

Carrie Gillon: It’s definitely a good bonus to access.

Megan Figueroa: I mean, it’s just a rage bonus which, you know, I would say about 80% of them are rage bonuses. [Laughter]

Carrie Gillon: Yeah.

Megan Figueroa: Maybe we could all stop being assholes and we wouldn’t have to rage bonus.

Carrie Gillon: Well, I mean, yes. It seems like it’s unlikely that the government’s ever gonna stop being this level of asshole, at least anytime soon.

Megan Figueroa: On a light-hearted note, I re-watched Knives Out, the movie, and I just truly the first time – because I mean, one of my favorite things is just old, haunted looking mansion houses and a Clue-type vibe. So, I was just enthralled by all of that and somehow missed some of the language stuff, but the character that Toni Collette plays, they make her very much sound like a very stereotypical valley girl. There’s no evidence to prove that she spends any time there.

Carrie Gillon: No, I mean, valley girl is not about being from the Valley anymore. It hasn’t been for a long time.

Megan Figueroa: I guess I’m still – I mean, I spend most of my time toward the west coast that I was surprised – because it’s supposed to be Massachusetts, but it’s on-brand valley girl, and I’m like, “She sounds like no one around her.”

Carrie Gillon: Well, we don’t know where she came from, right?

Megan Figueroa: That’s true. That’s true. Okay. Well, and they do make her into basically a Gwyneth Paltrow kind of a Goop brand.

Carrie Gillon: Exactly. I was gonna say she’s very Goop-y.

Megan Figueroa: I mean, that is really calling on that kinda vibe or that, at least, stereotype of the wellness – like they show her meditating in this very – yeah. She definitely has this vibe. I mean, it’s not unfair to say that LA is kind of an epicentre for that kind of stuff.

Carrie Gillon: Oh, no. It 100% is, but again, it doesn’t even really matter. She might not be from there at all. She might just be adopting that because that’s her identity, right?

Megan Figueroa: Her brand. I mean, it’s literally her brand at whatever company she has.

Carrie Gillon: She’s really good in that movie in that – that actor.

Megan Figueroa: She’s so good!

Carrie Gillon: I mean, she’s always amazing because she’s just amazing, but there’s just something really entertaining about that character like the languidity with which she speaks and the ridiculousness of most of the things that come out of her mouth.

Megan Figueroa: Oh, she embodies that character. It’s amazing. You see her in like – I mean, the last thing I saw her in was a serious role and I’m like – it was just like, the range! Speaking of range, I am enthralled by Daniel Craig’s character. I was the first time, but he does that thing where it’s kinda like – well, fuck Kevin Spacey – but the Kevin Spacey “House of Cards.”

Carrie Gillon: Yeah. He’s Frank Underwood sort of except that a detective and probably actually a better person. Yeah. He’s definitely adopting this Charleston-ish accent that no one speaks anymore. It’s a really old school variety.

Megan Figueroa: I just, I dunno if anyone ever asked the director or anyone if that was on purpose, but I feel like it had to have been. I feel like thought was put into making him seem like this old school kind of dude.

Carrie Gillon: I assume it was on purpose. I haven’t heard anyone ask Rian Johnson about that choice because I’ve heard him talk about “Knives Out.” Daniel Craig’s character putting on this accent really – just putting it on really strong because he wants people not to take him seriously because he's kind of Columbo-ing.

Megan Figueroa: Columbo-ing! Wow. [Laughter]

Carrie Gillon: Right? That’s the kind of character he feels like. He feels like he’s bumbling but he’s not. He knows exactly what he’s doing the whole time. Spoiler alert.

Megan Figueroa: Right.

Carrie Gillon: I dunno. It could’ve been a choice that the character even made.

Megan Figueroa: Well, to be fair, when he kinda reveals at the end that he knew what he was doing the whole time, I was like, “You’re fucking shitting me because you seemed like you didn’t know what you were doing.” Absolutely. It’s a really fucking fun movie.

Carrie Gillon: Oh my god, it is so fun! I was just grinning watching that movie because I enjoy murder mysteries. I always have. I grew up on them. But there was just something so fun about this one because it kind of turns everything up on its head.

Megan Figueroa: All of the references were very up to date. You’re like, “This movie is obviously made in 2019.”

Carrie Gillon: Yes. Yes.

Megan Figueroa: Anyway, lots of fun language stuff. Today’s episode’s fun.

Carrie Gillon: Yeah!

Megan Figueroa: We wanna gift our listeners with things that aren’t always very, very sad.

Carrie Gillon: I mean, there’s obviously a little bit of sadness associated with names, so we do talk a little bit about the dark side of names. But, for the most part, it’s more fun stuff like why you can tell what era someone’s born by their name.

Megan Figueroa: People should let us know on Twitter or wherever about their names or their name stories. That’d be really fun.

Carrie Gillon: On Anchor, you can record a voicemail for us if you wish. Let’s maybe do it. Let’s do a show where people call in. You can talk about your name or whatever – anything you find interesting. But I think names are fun.

Megan Figueroa: Well, names – I mean, like talking about it in the episode – everyone has a story about their name – probably a million. If you wanna share that with us, that would be great. How do you get to that, Carrie?

Carrie Gillon: You can add a message at anchor.fm/the-vocal-fries

Megan Figueroa: Yes, leave us a voicemail. Enjoy this episode!

[Music]

Megan Figueroa: Today, we are joined by Dr. Laurel MacKenzie who is an assistant professor at NYU who studies the variability inherent in language. She’s interested in linguistic choices we make and how and why we make them. The goal of her research is to better understand the patterns that underlie variation and change in language. We have her here today to talk about names.

Laurel MacKenzie: Yep.

Megan Figueroa: Thank you so much for being here!

Laurel MacKenzie: You’re welcome. Thank you for having me. My pleasure.

Megan Figueroa: I say “here” as if we’re all in the same space, but it’s really just the same virtual space.

Laurel MacKenzie: We’re in the same cyber space.

Megan Figueroa: Exactly. [Laughter]

Carrie Gillon: Cyber.

Laurel MacKenzie: I know! Good word, right? Let’s bring it back.

Carrie Gillon: We wanted to talk to you about names. I believe it was Daniel Currie Hall who wanted us to talk about names.

Laurel MacKenzie: So, this was a request?

Carrie Gillon: This was a request, yeah. We didn’t know who to turn to, and I think Lisa Davidson told us to talk to you.

Laurel MacKenzie: I can tell you a little bit about why and how I’m interested in names. Well, I don’t know if there’s a reason for why I’m interested in it, but I have always sort of – well, yeah. As someone with a name that you can’t find on keychains and mugs, I guess I was always aware of names growing up. I think it might actually have been Bill Labov, who was my PhD thesis advisor, who introduced me to the academic literature on names.

Bill had grown very interested in questions about how innovations in language catch on and progress and propagate through a community. He found a line of research by the sociologist Stanley Lieberson about how innovations and fashion catch on and propagate through a community. Lieberson particularly investigated this with respect to names. The anecdote that Lieberson told was that he named his daughter “Rebecca,” thinking, “Oh, that’s a nice, interesting, unusual name.” Then, Rebecca got to kindergarten and was “Rebecca L.” because there were three other “Rebecca”s in the class.

Labov had the exact same experience, also naming his daughter “Rebecca” at around the same time as Lieberson. Labov was really struck by this and told this anecdote a few times. The question it raised for him was, what’s going on? Why do so many people pick the same name at the same time but not at other times? What is it about certain names that are trendy, temporarily, but not at other times? How do people who don’t talk to each other about “What are you naming your kid? What are you naming your kid?” nonetheless pick the same names?

Labov saw an analogue in that the way names go in and out of style, in and out of fashion, to the way sound changes in language and changes in language more generally go in and out of style and in and out of fashion.

Carrie Gillon: Brilliant.

Megan Figueroa: That is so brilliant. The way some people’s brains work is so fascinating to me.

Laurel MacKenzie: That’s Bill’s brain. Bill is like the galaxy brain on the galaxy brain meme. [Laughter] you never would’ve put that together. That clued me into the fact that there’s an academic literature on names. At around the same time, when I was in grad school – so like mid-2000s, 2006 – 2008 or so – there was this blog that came into being, “The Baby Name Wizard.” The author, Laura Wattenberg, was a social scientist – a quantitative social scientist – and she had downloaded all the social security data on names given to babies in the United States going back to the 1880s. She had put it into a searchable database with graphs, so you could search for a name like “Brian” and see the rate at which “Brian” was given to babies from 1880 up to the present day.

You could see trends go in and out of fashion. You could search for just the beginning of names. You could see all the BR names – “Brian,” “Brady,” “Brianna,” “Britney” – which are very 80s/90s era-sounding names. That was really fun. I enjoyed playing around with that. Then, it all came together my final year of my PhD program when I was on the job market. I applied for a job at the University of Manchester where I was asked to propose three new courses at each level of the undergrad curriculum. Anyone listening to this who might wanna go on the academic job market one day, be prepared that this is the kinda thing that people might ask you about.

I was like, “Oh, that’s kinda fun. It’s a little exercise in teaching creativity.” The hardest part for me was figuring out what to teach first year undergraduates because it had to be something new that was not on the course curriculum already – so it couldn’t just be Introduction to Phonetics, Introduction to Sociolinguistics – but also it had to be appropriate for students who didn’t have much background in linguistics.

I kind of mulled over this for a long time, and it came to me one day as I was brushing my teeth, “What about the linguistics of names?” I like names. You can talk about how names go in and out of fashion, but you can also talk about things like the phonology of nickname formation or the morphology of naming in cultures that have interesting morphological systems. You can talk about gender and naming. You can talk about sound symbolism and naming – the way that researchers have found that certain product names might sound more rich and creamy, or more crunchy, based on the sounds that they have in them.

The more I thought, the more I was like, “You know, you could fill a one-semester undergraduate course on the linguistics of names.” I proposed that, and I ended up getting the job. In my offer letter, they said, “Next semester, you will be teaching Linguistics of Names,” and I was like, “Oh, god!” This had to go from a 30-second “You could do this” to a genuine one-semester course in a very short amount of time. I had to really put my money where my mouth was and read all this literature on the linguistics of names. But there is a fair amount of it out there.

I taught that course for three semesters at Manchester. I was very popular among the undergrads. It was a lot of fun to teach. I put it all together in that article for the “Teaching Linguistics” section of Language on the hopes that it might help other people.

Megan Figueroa: Do you still teach it at NYU?

Laurel MacKenzie: Haven’t taught it here at NYU, no. I would like to bring it back one of these days. I think it would make a good freshman seminar. That’s the kind of level it’s appropriate for.

Megan Figueroa: The reason why it’s so good that we’re talking to you about names and the reason why this is such a successful class, I’m guessing, is because we all care so deeply about our own names. Either we really hated it growing up or whatever, we just have lots and lots of big feelings about our names. I can imagine you as a little girl going by the mugs and seeing “Lauren” and being like, “Ugh! There’s ‘Lauren,’ and there’s where ‘Laurel’ should be.”

I did the same thing where I was like – at a certain period “Megan” was being spelled with H a lot. My name, “Megan,” M-E-G-A-N, would be missing but they’d still have the H ones and I’m like, “It’s not the same thing. I can’t just buy that mug.”

Laurel MacKenzie: Scribble it out.

Carrie Gillon: Cross out the H.

Megan Figueroa: Yeah, exactly. [Laughter]

Laurel MacKenzie: There was a viral tweet a while ago, something like, “Every name has a natural enemy” or “a natural nemesis” or something. It was by a guy named Josh, and he was like, “Mine is ‘John’” or something, “What’s yours?” It was really fun to see all the racks of responses that it accumulated.

Megan Figueroa: Carrie’s would be just “Carrie” spelled the other way, right?

Carrie Gillon: No. Mine is “Karen” because it gets misheard as “Karen” a lot. Pretty recently I went to a Starbucks, and she asked for my name, and I said, “Carrie,” and she misheard it as “Karen,” and I was like, “That’s fine because who cares,” right? She was like, “Oh, I got it wrong.” Then, she put down “Anna.” And I was like, “What?” [Laughter]

Megan Figueroa: You mentioned the “Brady/Britney/Brian” sounding very 80s, is there actually literature – were you able to track that that the /bʁə/ sound was very popular at that time?

Laurel MacKenzie: You can actually go look up the Baby Name Voyager, which is –

Megan Figueroa: That was the Wizard?

Laurel MacKenzie: Yeah. That’s that website I was telling you about. It’s still there. The Baby Name Wizard was, I think, the name of the website and the Voyager is the search engine, basically, where you search through all the data.

Carrie Gillon: My impression is “Brian” is at least somewhat older because I know older “Brian”s – but “Britney,” for sure, I don’t remember hearing any “Brittney’s until the 80s.

Laurel MacKenzie: So, I just typed it in, and the peak is definitely right at the 1990s. The most popular names that are showing up are “Brandon,” “Bradly,” “Britney,” “Brianna,” “Brian,” spelled a couple different ways – “Bryan” with a Y, “Brian” with an I – “Brooke” is in here, “Bruce.” There’s others but there was a big peak.

Carrie Gillon: “Bruce”? My uncle’s name is Bruce.

Laurel MacKenzie: Yeah, “Bruce,” to me, doesn’t seem to show. That peaked in the 50s. “Bruce”hais a slightly different trajectory.

Megan Figueroa: My mom’s name is Charlotte, which sounds so old school to me, except then the –

Carrie Gillon: It’s coming back.

Megan Figueroa: Yeah, Princess Charlotte over in –

Laurel MacKenzie: “Charlotte” came back.

Megan Figueroa: I mean, it cycles, right? That’s one of the things you looked at.

Laurel MacKenzie: Yes. That was something that I learned from reading Lieberson, yeah. He looks at these roller coaster type patterns where names that were really common in the 1880s/1890s/turn of the century get recycled. His theory is that those names get imbued with an old fashioned feeling when they’re the names of your parents and grandparents, but once all the old “Charlotte”s have sort of died off, they lose those connotations and they’re ripe for being revitalized in a way.

That doesn’t hold for everything. I don’t think “Ethel” is coming back, some of these –

Carrie Gillon: No. Or “Doris.”

Laurel MacKenzie: Right. But a lot of them – so “Emma,” I think, is a very similar trajectory. I’m looking at it in the Voyager right now. It shows a real trough and then a massive peak.

Carrie Gillon: That makes sense.

Laurel MacKenzie: All the FL starting names – so I just typed in “FL,” so you get “Flora,” “Florence,” “Flossy,” “Floyd” – those have all just tanked and they’re not really coming back. Although, you never know. “Florence” –

Carrie Gillon: “Florence” is a little bit nicer than “Doris.” Maybe.

Laurel MacKenzie: Yeah.

Carrie Gillon: You’ve already sort of answered this but maybe you can delve into one area that you think is the most interesting. What can we learn studying names?

Laurel MacKenzie: I designed my undergrad course around a single question which was whether names behaved like other elements of language or whether names are somehow linguistically special. From a lot of perspectives, names do actually seem a lot like other elements of language. Phonologically, they behave very similarly. For instance, nouns in English tend to be trochaic, they have stress on the first syllable. Most of the names in English do too, or at least the disyllabic ones.

Names follow similar processes of hypocoristic formation, so the way we make nicknames. We use very similar processes when we make nicknames or play names of non-name words. There’s a lot of phonological literature on when you make a nickname, what part of the name do you chop off, basically.

Megan Figueroa: Is this in English?

Laurel MacKenzie: Yeah. In English, at least, but other Germanic languages and French as well has specific nickname formation patterns that are followed by names but also can be done to non-name words, I think. Those were similarities. I thought the sociolinguistic similarities were really interesting too because names are a lot like accents. You’re brought up with them. They’re bestowed upon you. They’re not necessarily something you choose. They can be really hard to change. They can carry hallmarks of somebody’s ethnic background, their social class background, their gender certainly, and they’re subject to taste and fashion in the same way that changing elements of language can be too.

Megan Figueroa: Also, I bet we’re seeing a spike in gender non-conforming names right now – those vague names.

Laurel MacKenzie: It’s an interesting question, yeah. There’s a fair amount of literature on the phonological correlates of names given to babies of different genders, different sexes. Researchers have found – again, in English and using data in the US, although I suspect the UK would be really similar – that names given to babies assigned female at birth tend to be longer. They tend to have more syllables. They tend to be more likely to end in a vowel, specifically schwa. Think of like, “Amanda,” “Rebecca,” those sorts of things. They tend not to have stress on the initial syllable compared to names given to babies assigned male at birth. That’s, again, like, “Amanda,” “Rebecca,” “Marie.”

One exercise that I had my students do is to look at whether names have become less likely over time to show these gender hallmarks like, “Have names given to baby boys gotten more quote-unquote ‘feminine’ in their phonology and have names given to baby girls gotten less feminine?” What we actually found is that both sets of names seem to have had more phonological correlates associated with femininity over time, at least in the US data, which is a little surprising.

Carrie Gillon: I’ve also heard that boys’ names tend to end in /n/ like, “Brandon,” and “Aiden.”

Laurel MacKenzie: That’s a huge spike. Yeah. Boys’ names used to end more in obstruents, so your hard consonants – stops and fricatives and things. Now, there’s been a big rise in N-final baby names. Part of that I noticed in digging through the data is that there’s been a big spike in a lot of rhyming names. “Aiden” became popular in the early 2000s, I think. Then, we see this massive influx of “Braden,” “Zaden,” “Jaden,” “Raden,” “Hayden,” “Kayden” spelled a couple of different ways, seemingly all on the model of “Aiden.” That’s probably beefing up the number of N-final boys names.

Megan Figueroa: I wonder if that’s like the whole “Lauren” and “Laurel” thing, if that’s just a little bit different than “Aiden.” Maybe it’ll be a little bit more unique. Then, it just so happens that since it’s similar to “Aiden” that other people were thinking the same thing. It kinda starts trending.

Laurel MacKenzie: This is exactly what Lieberson says – the sociologist Stanley Lieberson – about how innovations in taste and fashion catch on. They catch on because they’re just a tiny little bit different from what was popular before. They’re not so different that they feel threatening, but they’re different enough that they can seem a little bit innovative or interesting. He makes the analogy to skirt lengths changing over time, actually. He tracked this in, I think, ads in fashion magazines. Over the course of the 20th century, skirts got much, much, much shorter and then they worked their way longer again. But it was only by tiny little increments. It was never a massive jump.

Carrie Gillon: That’s so fascinating!

Laurel MacKenzie: I know! If you see which names are popular, you can trace “Jacen” to “Jacob,” to “Mason,” to “Aiden,” among the topmost popular boys names. They’re all phonologically similar but not identical. It’s really neat.

Carrie Gillon: That is really neat.

Laurel MacKenzie: Another thing I learned in researching names is that there are countries and cultures where naming is very government regulated. Your name has to be on a list, and those lists have assigned genders with them too. There was a big news story a few years back where parents in Iceland wanted to name – I believe it was that they wanted to name a baby girl “Blaer,” which means “breeze” or something. But “blaer” is a masculine noun in Iceland so the government wouldn’t allow it because the child was female.

Carrie Gillon: I’ve heard of this before. I hadn’t heard about this particular case those. I wonder if there’s a way to feminize it in Icelandic that would’ve made it acceptable.

Laurel MacKenzie: That I don’t know.

Carrie Gillon: Not that they should be forced to do that, I’m just curious.

Laurel MacKenzie: “Blaer,” B-L-A-E-R. It means “light breeze.” Oh, apparently the decision got overturned.

Carrie Gillon: Oh, okay. Well, that’s good.

Megan Figueroa: Since you’ve looked at this, do you notice that there’re some countries or pockets of the country where family names are more important to pass on?

Laurel MacKenzie: Oh, as first names?

Megan Figueroa: Yeah.

Laurel MacKenzie: Anecdotally, I always had that impression in the south.

Megan Figueroa: That would be my guess but, yeah.

Laurel MacKenzie: That’s just my association. I grew up in Texas and I knew kids at least whose middle names were their mother’s maiden name.

Megan Figueroa: Oh, that’s very Mexican too.

Carrie Gillon: And also very British. My family – that was a tradition.

Laurel MacKenzie: Maybe there’s just a lot of that out there.

Carrie Gillon: That was a tradition. But my parents decided not to go with that tradition anymore because they just – I dunno. They were kind of non-traditional, I guess. Yeah. It’s common, I think, in lots of different cultures to do that. I guess the United States may be – depending on which country your family originated from – you may or may not continue to do it.

Laurel MacKenzie: It occurs to me, I don’t know of any research on middle names, and that could be actually pretty interesting because I feel like middles is just a whole wild west. They don’t really get used much. You hardly ever see them except on really official documents. It’s like people could go kinda wild but I’m not sure that they do. I feel like growing up I knew a whole lot of people whose middle name was either “Marie” or “Lee” or something.

Carrie Gillon: Or “Anne.”

Laurel MacKenzie: Yeah! Very small set.

Carrie Gillon: The only time we really hear about people’s middle names is if they’re a serial killer, and that’s only to distinguish them from all other people with the same name.

Megan Figueroa: That’s so funny.

Carrie Gillon: Or there’re people in Hollywood who will use their middle initial because they also have to distinguish themselves from the other Michael Fox or whatever in SAG. Middle names are interesting, and I do know people without any middle names at all. That also gets them in trouble because it’s expected in North American culture, but they’re not necessary.

Laurel MacKenzie: Harry S Truman does not have a middle name. His middle name was just “S,” right? He just made that up as a president because he felt he needed on.

Carrie Gillon: You’re not supposed to put a period afterwards because it’s not an abbreviation. It’s just S.

Laurel MacKenzie: That’s right. That’s a good point of punctuation trivia.

Carrie Gillon: I just found this out a couple weeks ago.

Laurel MacKenzie: I had this thought the other night, I wonder if anybody has ever used a middle initial of a letter that is also a roman numeral and then insisted that, no, my middle is not “V,” it’s “Five.”

Carrie Gillon: Why not? [Laughter]

Laurel MacKenzie: You might hear that on the next kid.

Carrie Gillon: Experimentation through having children.

Laurel MacKenzie: Yes. But, yeah, you mentioned surnames as first names and that, from reading the blog associated with the Baby Name Wizard, was something that I think she noticed had been on the rise, definitely. I mean, to take an example at random, I definitely noticed where there were a bunch of little Makenzies starting – that started to be a thing. I hadn’t known anyone with my last name as their first name until, I think it was about high school when this started happening for me.

Megan Figueroa: I had the opposite, since my last name’s not “MacKenzie,” but I always thought that was a first name. When I see it as a last name, I’m like, “Oh? Okay.”

Laurel MacKenzie: Yes. When I started seeing it as a first name, I was like, “I had it first.” [Laughter]

Megan Figueroa: I think a lot of interesting things are happening with names too because people are, I dunno, coming to terms with it or deciding for themselves that you don’t have to name a child with the father’s last name too. A lot of different things are happening with that too. I feel like it’s a really interesting time for names.

I grew up with a lot of girls whose names were like, “Alexandra,” or “Samantha,” and they would by “Alex” and “Sam.” I’m seeing those just becoming names for girls now – just naming your child “Sam” or “Alex” – which I think is pretty cool.

Carrie Gillon: Well, technically, my name is a diminutive of “Carolyn” or “Caroline,” but I was named “Carrie.” That is my name.

Laurel MacKenzie: Yes. Nicknames can sort of take on a life of their own.

Megan Figueroa: I dunno. I think that there is still some societal expectations that a “Sam” or an “Alex” is perhaps more masculine coded too, so to see these nicknames being first names for baby girls is interesting to me.

Laurel MacKenzie: Right.

Megan Figueroa: This shift.

Laurel MacKenzie: So, the question is, does the gender shift ever go the other way? Do we ever find feminine-coded names being given to baby boys?

Carrie Gillon: Not that I’m aware of.

Laurel MacKenzie: The closest we can get is that – so names like “Noah” and “Jonah,” ending in an /ə/, which is, in many English names, a feminine ending because a lot of them come from Latin and other romance languages, I think.

Carrie Gillon: But those are Biblical names.

Laurel MacKenzie: Yes. They’re not feminine coded even though they sound a little bit feminine. They don’t even.

Carrie Gillon: Yeah. I think it’s because they’re Biblical where they just would never shift in that way because, unless everyone stopped reading the Bible for, like, a hundred years or something, then maybe.

Laurel MacKenzie: I suspect that other Biblical names like “Rebecca” has really plummeted since the 80s and 90s. I mean, obviously “Mary” – “Mary” was the Number 1 name given to baby girls until the 1970s. In 2017, it was down to Number 126.

Carrie Gillon: Wow. Yeah. Now’s maybe the time.

Laurel MacKenzie: To bring back the Biblical names?

Carrie Gillon: To use “Mary” for a girl child that’s gonna be somewhat unique maybe.

Laurel MacKenzie: She’ll probably be the only one in her class, yeah. It’s possible. I think another reason I was always so interested in this was because my mom was an elementary school teacher for about 20 years. Every year she was coming home with “You can’t imagine the new names in my class this year.”

Carrie Gillon: When I was growing up, it was a lot of “Jennifer”s. So many “Jennifer”s.

Laurel MacKenzie: “Jennifer” was Number 1 in the 70s and 80s.

Carrie Gillon: When I was growing up, you could sort of tell – I’m from Canada, and you could tell if a boy had come from the more Ontario area or more from the British Columbia area. There were a lot of “Dave”s from Ontario and a lot of “Mike”s from British Columbia.

Laurel MacKenzie: Hah! Yeah. It’s like pinpointing where someone is from based on their accent. It’s this linguistic hallmark that you get stamped with depending on when and where and what culture you’re from.

Megan Figueroa: I think this has been of interest to a lot of people recently because of Hassan Minhaj. Am I saying his name right, Carrie?

Carrie Gillon: I think so.

Megan Figueroa: I think I said it right because I had been saying it /ˌhəˈsan/ for so long, but then he corrected Ellen so it was /ˈhəˌsən/, having that whole viral thing where he talked to Ellen about his name and he was like, “Listen, my parents named me this, so this is how you’re gonna say it,” right? I think there has been some interest, at least looking at Twitter and the Vocal Fries and what people will tag us in, that people are real interested in how we can be assholes about names, which I think is great because it’s not like suddenly it’s possible to be an asshole about names. It’s been possible the whole time. But now people really seem to care and want to know how not to be an asshole about it.

Laurel MacKenzie: Yes. There’s some good literature on this in education and in linguistic anthropology about teachers and students’ feelings when they’re basically – the term is – “indexically bleached” or “racial/ethnically bleached” by teachers just either butchering their name pronunciation – not trying to get the pronunciation right – or even just renaming the kid entirely. “Oh, I can’t say your name. You’re Jeff now.”

[Excerpt from Key & Peele Substitute Teacher]

Kegan Michael Key: All right, listen up, ya’ll. I’m ya’ll’s substitute teacher, Mr. Garvey. I taught school for 20 years in the inner city so don’t even think about messing with me. Ya’ll feel me? Okay. Let’s take role here. /d͡ʒɛɪkwɛlɪn/? Where’s /d͡ʒɛɪkwɛlɪn/ at?

[End excerpt]

Megan Figueroa: It’s so ridiculous to think that one population or demographic of people have “normal” names, like they’re the only ones with quote-unquote “normal” names. It’s just so absurd to think that. I think a lot of us get stuck in our little bubble – not that you’re meaning to be an asshole, it’s just so easy to get stuck in that idea that, “Well, of course, my name is normal. Why is your name so strange?”

Laurel MacKenzie: I know. That’s like accents. You don’t realize you have one, you think everybody else does.

Megan Figueroa: Absolutely. That’s a really good analogy.

Carrie Gillon: There’s many ways that ethnicity or race can be encoded by names, but I think black names in the United States are particularly noticeable to white people. Is there any interesting research on those? And how can we tell white people to be less of an asshole about that stuff?

Laurel MacKenzie: Let’s see. So, the research that I know of – I know Stanley Lieberson, again, the name guy, has research looking at distinctive African American names and when they came into being. He actually found that they correlated really well with the civil rights movement and the black rights movement. People started becoming more likely to actually make names up entirely or use variations on existing names. That was where black naming practices and white naming practices – we can really see them diverge quantitatively.

The flip side to names are like accents is that the fact that accent discrimination exists means that name discrimination exists. There have also been studies that have sent out identical resumes with traditionally black names and traditionally white names and found fewer call backs to the resume with the black name than the traditionally white name, just like we find with linguistic profiling – the work of John Baugh – who called up a bunch of different real estate agents speaking mainstream American English or African American English or Chicano English and got different amounts of call backs depending on the accent he was using. There’s a parallel for any sociolinguistics study about discrimination in names it seems.

Megan Figueroa: Someone once told me that I was lucky to have my last name because surely that helped me with my resume if people saw my resume. And I was like, “No, I’m sorry.” That’s very offensive to say that to someone. Like, you can think it, sure, but keep it to yourself. But also that’s not how it works, not yet.

Carrie Gillon: I mean, maybe there’s one job where that might work for you but, generally, no.

Megan Figueroa: Well, there was one time where I was told I was – I did AmeriCorps, and the man, who was Mexican-American, he’s like, “I saw your name. I looked at your statement about your story with Spanish,” and he was like, “You’re gonna be able to connect with these kids.” That’s, I think, a very good thing that that all happened but, for the most part, a name like my last name, unconsciously to a lot of people or consciously, is not gonna do as well as “Smith.” My point there is that a lot of people – well-meaning people – do not know that. They really think it’s changed.

Carrie Gillon: I know a lot of white people are living in a fantasy, maybe less so now – the last three years maybe, hopefully, woke some of them up. But I think a lot of white people are living in a fantasy of a post-racial world.

Laurel MacKenzie: It’s interesting. There’s the one line of research on this, I’ll call it, “overt” discrimination of names. There’s another interesting paper I found a while back by a researcher named Latanya Sweeney. It’s called “Discrimination and Online Ad Delivery.” What she did is she tried googling a bunch of different names – more traditionally black-coded names and white-coded names – and seeing what sort of ads Google offered her up.

She was finding, when you google a black name like “Latanya,” you were more likely to get ads for arrest records than if you google [sighs and groans] – yeah – than a more white-coded name like “Emily.” It’ll say, “Latanya. Has she been arrested? Click here to find out,” which you’re not getting when you search for “Emily” for instance.

Carrie Gillon: I should not be shocked but I actually am.

Megan Figueroa: I am too because I thought you were gonna say like maybe some black hair products or something very, very – that you could buy.

Carrie Gillon: That’s where my brain went too.

Laurel MacKenzie: That could be productive, but this is just like, “Oh, yeah. Algorithms are racist too.”

Carrie Gillon: We’ve talked about that before and, yes – yes, they are.

Megan Figueroa: Because they’re created by humans who are racist, and misogynistic, and all of this.

Carrie Gillon: Speaking of that connection there, there was also a guy who was talking about sending out resumes and his name is “Kim.” He had to change his resume to “Mr. Kim Whatever” because he wasn’t getting call backs. There’s also sexist –

Laurel MacKenzie: Yeah. There’s another study that I think it was published in Science or Nature. The researchers sent out resumes for a lab manager position that were either “John” or “Jennifer” or something like that – experienced that same sort of thing.

FiveThirtyEight, the website, had an article a few years back, “How to Guess Somebody’s Age When All You Know is Their Name,” and they combined name statistics and actuarial tables to basically include like, “Okay. If your name peaked around the 1930s, you’re likely to live X number of years. If you meet a ‘John,’ they’re probably from this era,’” or so.

Carrie Gillon: I loved that. That’s one of my favorite things that they’ve done.

Laurel MacKenzie: It’s just remarkable having never – once you realize that names can be pinpointed to an era with such accuracy to then think about the next level of like, “How on earth does that happen? How do these things really go through those sort of chronological waves?”

This is something that Lieberson points out. Unlike fashion, we don’t have magazines telling us like, “Name your kid ‘Rebecca’ now! It’s the trendy 80s thing to do. Everyone else is doing it.” But somehow, we pick it up. That’s how innovations in language progress too. Nobody goes around saying, “Oh, it’s the trendy thing nowadays to say /æ̃/ instead of /æ/. Everyone else in Michigan is doing it,” but it happens.

Megan Figueroa: It’s true. I think baby name books existed back then. It’s nothing like today where it’s like, “Baby Name Generator,” or all these websites that you can look at. Still, you see these trends.

Carrie Gillon: That’s a good point. Has anything changed as a result that now that we have more information at our fingertips? Or is it still the same?

Megan Figueroa: Game of Throne names.

Carrie Gillon: That’s a change.

Laurel MacKenzie: Celebrity names – that’s always been a possibility, right? There’s a little “Shirley” peak for Shirley Temple back in the 30s or 40s. You can see presidential bumps – “Franklin” for the Roosevelt bump and I think there’s a little “Herbert” bump around Herbert Hoover that you can see in the data. Game of Thrones names for that – and they’re not that different there, I guess. But the question of like the way information is just more available to us now than it used to be, is that changing naming? I don’t know.

Carrie Gillon: What you might, maybe, expect is, “Okay. I see that this is on the rise. I don’t wanna join.” Whereas, you couldn’t really do that before because you didn’t have that much information. I dunno if that’s actually happening.

Megan Figueroa: Again, along with that access to information, I’m again reminded of people caring more about being right – “being right” – trying hard to be right about people’s names and caring that that’s a very personal part of someone. What are some of the biggest ways you would that there are to be assholes about names? What is it?

Okay. We’ve talked about perhaps this is happening unconsciously – but seeing someone’s last name and thinking maybe they’re not as qualified or they’re more likely to have been arrested. That’s one asshole thing.

Laurel MacKenzie: Yeah. Snap social judgments about somebody’s character or personality or interests or even language abilities or anything based on their name.

Megan Figueroa: Ah! That feels very personal because – I’m at Verizon. I tell the person my name. Okay Gave them my last name. He was Mexican American. He’s like, “Oh, you’re Mexican too. You speak Spanish then?” It’s like, “No.” [Groans] Yeah. Also, of course, it’s not even without a foreign language, right? Or “foreign” – or another language. With black names, people can be assholes and assume that their English isn’t as good because we have these assumptions about African American English.

Laurel MacKenzie: Just like opinions and attitudes toward people seep into attitudes toward people’s language, the same thing happens with people’s names. There’s that aspect. There’s the aspect of perception of traits based on a name. Then, there’s also the production aspect. How do you pronounce somebody’s name when they ask you to pronounce it? I know you talked about this in the episode when you had Zack Jaggers on – former colleague of mine from NYU.

Megan Figueroa: Ya’ll are doing good stuff over there.

Laurel MacKenzie: I know! It’s a great place to be. There’s actually a poster down the hall from me on which Zach was the first author and other colleagues here at NYU were co-authors. It’s called, “What it Means When You Say My Name Right: Subjective Evaluations of the Linguistic Reproduction of Names.” Zach and his collaborators did an online study where listeners heard audio clips in which a conversation participant either accurately or inaccurately reproduced the other conversation participant’s name.

One person says, “Hi, my name is Natalia.” And the other person either says, “Oh, hi, Natalia” or “Oh, hi, Natalie” or “Nataliea” or something very anglicized. Then, they asked subjects’ opinions of the person who repeated the name – “Do you think they’re working class or middle class? Do you think they’re likely to vote republican or conservative? Do you think they’re intelligent? Do you think they’re friendly?” – and so forth and had people rate them on a number of different metrics.

Accurate reproductions of a name, whether it was either Anglo or not, were rated more sociable, more friendly, more polite, more cooperative. Listeners were more likely to wanna be friends with those people who accurately reproduce names. It’s the nice thing to do. Listen to people when they tell you how they say their name and do your best to reproduce it.

Carrie Gillon: Yes. Do your best. Some are easier than others. “Natalia” is not that hard for an English speaker. There’re other names that are harder.

Laurel MacKenzie: I mean, in my experience, people are reasonable. They understand that their name has a sound in it that is hard for English speakers and they will often give you an alternative. “If you can’t say the /ɖə/ say it like a /də/, but please don’t say it like a /ɹə/.”

Carrie Gillon: Right. Exactly.

Laurel MacKenzie: I find, even from my own experience with a name that is not phonologically difficult to other people, they often just seem to listen to the first part when I say my name and tune out the rest of it, so I just say, “Hi, I’m Laurel” – “Oh, hi, Lauren,” as if they had just stopped listening after the first syllable.

Carrie Gillon: That’s what’s happening with me too! I didn’t realize that. I actually thought it was just I was pronouncing it funny or I wasn’t being clear enough. But, no, they’re not paying attention.

Laurel MacKenzie: I wonder if that’s part of it.

Megan Figueroa: I gotta say though that I get really anxious when I meet people for the first time – it’s getting better with age – that I can see tuning out on the second half of a name, or just not even getting the name the first time.

Carrie Gillon: Well, I’ve definitely said the name wrong to someone because I’ve misheard it. I mean, that happens. As long as they correct you and you go, “Oh, sorry.”

Megan Figueroa: But it’s a pattern for you both. I totally get it.

Carrie Gillon: I don’t really care. If it’s a person that I’m gonna talk to more than once in my life, I want them to get my name right. If it’s a Starbucks person, I don’t care.

Megan Figueroa: Although, some of the Starbucks people care so much. You know why though, and it makes me sad? It’s probably because they get so much shit from people.

Carrie Gillon: They do get a lot of shit. That’s why I don’t want to be an asshole by them because like, “Eh, it’s fine. ‘Karen’ is fine.”

Laurel MacKenzie: But they could also just call out order numbers. Do they really need to do names?

Carrie Gillon: This is a corporate decision, right, because they wanna humanize –

Laurel MacKenzie: Yes. It’s not the barista’s fault, sure.

Megan Figueroa: I dunno if it’s true elsewhere or what the major company is for Safeway. I know that fries is Kroger, but Safeway here in Arizona, they have a company policy where they say the last name on the person’s card. And I’m like, “Ugh! That’s so stressful for me.” Every time. Especially when I’m with my dad who says it always with the Spanish pronunciation.

Then, I remember as a kid, he would say that, and they wouldn’t understand, and it was one of those awkward moments, and I just hated it. At a certain point, he had decided that he didn’t care. He was gonna do it no matter what. I’m at that point too where I can see why, when you get to that point, it’s freeing, but as a kid, I was like, “Oh, we’re having one of those moments again.”

Laurel MacKenzie: See, that policy is extra problematic because you need a title in addition to the last name, right? Then, I get, “Thanks, Miss MacKenzie,” and it’s like, “Ugh.”

Carrie Gillon: Yeah. Same. I also have a problem with my last name. So, “Gillon” is just like “Dillon” but, for some reason, everyone wants to pronounce it /gɪliən/. Again, I don’t really care if it’s someone I don’t know but, if we’re gonna know each other for more than one interaction, it – yeah.

Laurel MacKenzie: Actually, Carrie, with your last name, I have the /gɪf/d͡ʒɪf/ problem. I wasn’t sure whether you were /gɪlən/ or /d͡ʒɪlən/.

Megan Figueroa: But not /d͡ʒɪliən/, right?

Laurel MacKenzie: No. That one I could tell. There wasn’t another I in there. This just goes to show that, I mean, yes, there can be idiosyncratic pronunciations. You don’t know whether someone says their name with the French pronunciation or the English pronunciation. It’s like, just ask! Ask people how to pronounce their names.

Just two days ago, we got an email from NYU saying, “We have now made it possible for students to enter their name pronunciations into the student system.”

Carrie Gillon: Perfect. But that should’ve been earlier.

Laurel MacKenzie: It should’ve been earlier. And I won’t be entirely happy until everybody knows IPA, and then they can actually enter it in IPA because, I mean, it’s great to get pronunciations, but if they’re not in IPA, I’m not gonna be able – will I really know how to say them?

Carrie Gillon: I totally get it. I mean, especially if it’s not English. You’re like, “Hmm.”

Laurel MacKenzie: “That makes sense to you but” – yeah.

Carrie Gillon: We have the same problem. We say, “If you want us to pronounce your name correctly, can you please give us” – like, if it’s not obvious from the spelling – “Can you give us a pronunciation guide?” A lot of people don’t know the IPA, so they’re like, “Oh, I’m so sorry.” And I’m like, “You shouldn’t apologize, but also, I don’t know!” My best guess. I do my best guess.

Megan Figueroa: I know. I get so nervous pronouncing people’s names on this podcast, even when I ask them before. Then, we start recording and I’m like, “This is so important.” I’ve gotten better but it’s like – because interviewing gets easier, everything gets easier, but the name just feels so heavy and important still. It’s the one thing – okay. We’re gonna respect this in the most perfect pronunciation that I can possibly do.

I dunno. It’s great to talk about names. I could talk all day about names. I’m just realizing how many stories I have about my name. And I know that everyone has tons of stories about their name. Some of them happy, some of them quite discriminatory. There’s all these things.

Laurel MacKenzie: It’s this funny thing that we didn’t choose our names, and yet we’re basically stuck with them unless we wanna jump through a fair amount of hoops.

Megan Figueroa: That’s a good point too though. We should really make it easier for people to legally change their name.

Carrie Gillon: I know. It’s such a mess. Considering that for a long, long time – and women are still doing it – women were expected to change their last names. We still make it very hard for women to do that, all things considered, that that was the norm for so long. It still is, technically.

Megan Figueroa: The money involved – I remember my friend changed their name and it was like – we all had a little get together party for it because it was a big deal because not only is it legally hard but they had to get money for it and there was some fundraising involved. It shouldn’t cost emotionally and financially like it does.

Carrie Gillon: It also has implications for voting later because every time the republicans make it harder to vote, often it affects anyone who’s changed their name.

Megan Figueroa: Yeah. Because of the IDs they have, you mean? They won’t match?

Carrie Gillon: Mm-hmm.

Megan Figueroa: Well, universities are getting a lot better, at least. I can say that working at the University of Arizona. It’s much easier to put which name you would like to have on your ID that will show up with the professors or any of your TAs. They’ll see that name.

Carrie Gillon: That’s good. That’s very good.

Megan Figueroa: It’s a small thing to do, but it’s big because you actually realize how –

Carrie Gillon: Important it was.

Megan Figueroa: – hard it was. Yeah. How important it was – or “is.” Are there any other big ways that – well, okay, here’s the opposite question. How can we not be assholes? You said just be kind and ask people how to pronounce their name. Are there any other advice you have?

Laurel MacKenzie: Don’t make snap judgements by names. Call people what they wanna be called and how they want to be called it – how they want it pronounced. Yeah. I think that pretty much sums it up with names.

Megan Figueroa: It sounds so simple. It could be if we wanted it to, right?

Laurel MacKenzie: Right. Why is it hard?

Carrie Gillon: I mean, I think it’s mostly simple as long as people don’t wanna be assholes. It’s just we get anxious when we don’t know how to pronounce a name. That’s the only thing that makes it kind of emotionally hard, and we should recognize that, but other than that, I think, it’s very easy.

Megan Figueroa: As someone who is an anxious person, I totally get it.

Carrie Gillon: Me too!

Megan Figueroa: Yeah, yeah. Gotta be some room to forgive yourself for it because it’s harder when you make a big deal about it after, right? You don’t wanna make the person uncomfortable by being like, “I’m so sorry. I’m the worst.”

Carrie Gillon: Right. Just remember with Kirby’s episode when we talked about using the wrong pronouns, don’t go like, “Oh my god! I’m so sorry.” Just be like, “Oh, sorry.”

Megan Figueroa: Then, we move on. Make the change.

Laurel MacKenzie: I mean, name spelling is also something that is very variable. There’s “Elisabeth”s with an S, and with a Z, and that’s another thing where, make a good faith effort to get it right, but it’s not the end of the world. As a MacKenzie who has an A in the last name, I get “McKenzie” without an A a lot and – correct it and you move on.

Megan Figueroa: Except, if you spell “Meghan” with an H, I will kill you. Just kidding. [Laughter]

Laurel MacKenzie: I’m gonna send you a box full of Megan-with-an-H coffee mugs. [Laughter]

Megan Figueroa: Are you gonna do it with a sharpie and take the H out? Just put an X through it?

Laurel MacKenzie: Yes. All I could find. Hope it was good enough. [Laughter]

Carrie Gillon: Well, this has been so fun. Thank you so much for coming to talk to us.

Laurel MacKenzie: This has been great. My pleasure.

Megan Figueroa: Well, shall we say, “Don’t be an asshole”?

Carrie Gillon: Don’t be an asshole!

Laurel MacKenzie: Don’t be an asshole.

[Music]

Carrie Gillon: As of right now, we have two patrons to thank for this month. I’d like to thank Jamar Brown and Shelby Greenwood.

Megan Figueroa: Thank you so much.

Carrie Gillon: Yes. Thank you.

Megan Figueroa: I love all of you so much.

Carrie Gillon: heart eyes motherfucker! [Laughter] If you wanna join us on Patreon, you can, at patreon.com/vocalfriespod. We do bonus episodes for the $5.00 level. Everyone from the $3.00 level and $5.00 level gets stickers!

Carrie Gillon: The Vocal Fries Podcast is produced by me, Carrie Gillon, for Halftone Audio, them music by Nick Granum. You can find us on Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram @vocalfriespod. You can email us at [email protected], and our website is vocalfriespod.com.

#linguistic discrimination #names #proper names

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aspiestvmusings · 4 years

Text

TMS S3: GROUP A

THE MASKED SINGER SEASON 3 GROUP A/ GROUP 1: (contestants 1 - 6)

EP 3x01: CLUES & MORE: RECAP for remaining 5:

SPOILERS BELOW!!!

KANGAROO

CLUES:

Location: Outdoors: “Australia”

Location: Next to a /in a yard of a “peach coloured” building with arch/vault-style architecture

VISUAL CLUES:

Sign: OUTBACK (with the U being in the shape of horseshoe)

Sign: Yellow “road sign” with an arrow pointing down (”spiraling down”)

MIB as papparazzi/press following her - taking pics, media attention (for “the wrong reasons”)

Gramophone on a tree branch

Boxing bag - the kangaroo boxing/hitting the boxing bag

Jump rope - the kangaroo jumping over a jump rope (made of a vine...held by MIB)

AUDIO CLUES/VOICE OVER:

”Like most of you watching, I’m a survivor.”

“I recently lost a person, who held my familys heart together. Then, by my own admission, I found myself in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons.”

“But I’m here to do what kangaroos do best - bounce back.”

“I have to fight for my family. And show them that bullies never win.”

“I am beyond terrified - I’ve never done anything like this before. But I’m not about to lose the chance to realize the dream I’ve always had.”

“To all the survivors out there -- This one’s for you.”

ON STAGE CLUES:

Song choice: “Dancing on My Own” by Robyn

Look/Costume: The kangaroo has a pouch (indicates female), but also has a red/silver boxing outfit & gloves (indicates male). Outfit colours: red & silver. Important: there is a crown on the back of her robe.

Stage: hexagon-shaped mirrors (5 of them) surrounding her/behind her [if my other guess is correct, then that stage design is a “clue”]

Height: Tall-ish...almost the same height as host Nick. A bit shorter, around 175cm, probably.

Mic hand: Right

Talking: “One of my greatest fears is being vulnerable. And this year I’ve had no other option than to be vulnerable. But...with this kangaroo costume I feel like I can get my superpowers back.” + [breathes in/sighs heavily before the song starts]

GUESSES:

I HAVE NO NAMES OF MY OWN. -- I thought she was this certain female artist, because the voice kinda seemed familair (sounded like hers to me), but none of the clues and other things seemed to fit. And after checking the clues it seems to confirm it cannot be her, cause nothing matches. Also... to me she doesn’t sound like any of the singers I thoughts she could be based on the clues, so... I havent actually figured her out...

I think people online are correct, and it’s a certain “reality star” (gramophone = reference to her dad being a sound engineer on a well-known past TV show) Though I am considering a few more options - mostly other reality stars/youtubers/family members of celebs... particularily one name. If my guess here is correct, then just like Llama, she would have a connection to a previous TMS contestant...but since I am not that familiar with her singing voice, I cannot be sure. But she has lost family members in the past few years, she has been in a media scandal, and you can even explain the australia thing kinda... so...until I hear more of her, I’ve got one name mainly in mind. But I wont name it until I’ve heard her sing at least once more.

POSSIBLE MEANING OF CLUES.

Survivor = the title of a “Destiny’s Child” hit song

Lost a family member recently = either her family member (parent, grandparent?) died or they parted ways (were cut ouf of each others lives)

Gramophone = possibly a reference to a Grammy nomination/win. Or just music/sound/audio

Outback = possible connection to Australia

“spiraling down” road sign + papparazzi following her = she’s been in a media scandal “recently”

Crown = King/Queen

LLAMA

CLUES:

Location: Radio station/Mixing studio - mixing console (close up)

Location: Pottery making “class”

VISUAL CLUES:

Mixing console - close up of a studio/radio station mixing console

23.3 The Wool (name of the radio station/show)

Red lightbulb in the studio

Photo of a bull (the animal)

Playing cards: Ace of Spaces & Jack of Spades). Two black suit cards showing (Jack Black)

Sounds of Seattle - title of a vinyl album

Romancing a llama: pottery

AUDIO CLUES/VOICE OVER:

"Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Mix it up!”

“Good morning, Nerd herd! You’re listening to The Wool. Where we’re all cool. No Bull.”

“I’m here for one reason only - to have a laugh. And what’s funnier than a Llama? (laughs at his own joke)”

“You may call me a joker. But I’d like to get serious for a minute. The song I’m singing tonight is my favourite track for celebrating love with that... special someone. There’s nothing like being swept up by it’s deep, profound lyrics. It’s a tune that really gets me in the mood for romance. I can’t wait to sing it for you tonight.”

“Llama out!”

ON STAGE CLUES:

Song choice: “She Bangs” by Ricky Martin

Look/Costume: Dressed as a tourist - “hawaiian” style shirt,, photo camera around his neck. Llamas tongue out of his mounth, on the side.

Height: he is around 180cm - about the same height as host Nick (their shoulders are on about the same height)

Mic hand: Left

Talking: “umm.. This whole costume just spoke to me... My vibe... I wear digs like this in real life.” (answering the question about his costume & it’s looks)

GUESSES:

Drew Carey (TV host/comedian/actor...)

POSSIBLE MEANING OF CLUES.

23.3 Wool = His show (The Drew Carey Show) had, during it’s 9-season long run, a total of 233 episodes.

Photo canera prop = His hobby is photography. Actually, it’s more than just a hobby - he has been accredited press photographer during many (sports) events.

Radio = He was a radio operator during the time he served in the Marine Corps. Also..he’s hosted a radio show (radio DJ) during his later career

Red light in the room = photography reference. In the DarkRoom red light is used when developing photo film/photographs.

Buddha figurine (Dalai Lama/Llama joke) = He is a buddhist.

Joker = he is a joker aka comedian

Seattle = He is the co-owner of a Seattle Football Club.

Playing cards = He took part in the celebrity poker game in 2003, where he did better than Jack Black did (played against Jack Black)

Nerd herd = He did take part in Zack levis (Chuck) “Nerd herd” lightsaber race one time at a Comic-Con convention.

Nerd herd = his show (DCS) & character were/was about nerds/was a nerd

Llama’s side tongue = early in his stand-up comedy days he had a joke with a side-tie (it looked visually very similar to what the llama’s tongue looks like - he just added some wires & tape to do “the trick” of swinging the tie to the side)

BONUS: He knows last years winner, “The Fox Mask” - they did “Whose Line is it Anyway” together, so... connection...

SPOILER ALERT: Llama is the mask who will be voted off next - in ep 2 (on Wed, Feb 5th). But while his voice might not be as trained as some other contestants, I loved his stage energy, and the comedy/fun he brought! One more song coming from him! And no, I am not sharing some secret info - they “accidentally” revealed the first two contestants, who get unmasked, so it’s been revealed by the network...for those, who notice small details...

MISS MONSTER

CLUES:

Location: Lady’s restroom/bathroom. The moster getting ready (coming hair, applying hairspray...)

Location: school hallway - lockers

VISUAL CLUES:

Sign: (image) ladies restroom

Itmes on the counter in bathroom/dressing room: Furspray (hairsray) can, pink bottle of some beauty product, three crystals (stones), a piece of sequin fabric

Key/Keychain: a single (old style) key with a keychain that says “FUN” #FUN #KEY = FUNKY = “QUEEN OF FUNK”

Purple furry diary/good luck charm/cosmetics bag/pencil box (with a face + kitty ears & unicorn horn) + a glittery pen

Lockers: Lockers numbered 10 (the ones she opens) & 11 (the one next to it)...with no other lockers having numbers on them

Miss Monster Locker: filled with images of S1 Monster, scrapbook flowers..etc...

Piece of paper on the locker door: Monster Hits.

Photograph of a cityscape (skyline with many skyscrapers) on the locker door [if I could only see the image better to know which city it is on it, that’d be one more clue]

AUDIO CLUES/VOICE OVER:

“When you become famous, people want you to look or act in a certain way. They forget that you started off as just a shy little monster.”

“It didn’t take long for me to be misunderstood. So I’m here to set the record straight. Just like my favourite creature in Season 1 did. The Monster. He made me feel. He re-wrote his story. It was fire!"

“And now this performer in pink wants to follow in his furry footsteps, But darlings... I’m nervous. Will you still love me without knowing my name?”

ON STAGE CLUES:

Song choice: “Something to Talk about” by Bonnie Raitt

Look/Costume: pink & purple/violet furry costume with a bowtie

Height: she is short-ish (shorter than host Nick). She looks very short (barely 5 feet - more Dolly P. height 152cm than Chaka K height 162cm)

Mic hand: Right

Talking: NO ON-STAGE TALKING!

GUESSES:

Chaka Khan

Dolly Parton (since the total number of Grammy noms that the 18 contestants have in combined in 69 & Robot as the first revealed one has had 24-25 of them, that leaves only 44-45 for everyone else, that rules out this person, because she alone has had 46 nominations...compared to C. Khan’s 22 noms)

POSSIBLE MEANING OF CLUES.

Number 10 = She has 10 Grammy Awards/wins. (interestinly: both D. Parton & C. Khan have 10 Grammy wins!)

Monster Hits = she has had (many) hit songs during her career

He made me feel = She has a song by the title “I Feel You” (1984 hit)

It was fire = She has a song by the title “Through the Fire” (1985)

Will you love me - that is (word for word) the title of of her her hit songs, “Will You Love Me?” (2007)

It was fire = She wrote the hit song “Fule to the Flame” (1967 hit) for Skeeter Davis.

Will you still love me? = She has/wrote a song titled “I will always love you”

Furspray/Hairsray = he was/is known for her big hair/haircut (managing that probably takes lots of hairspray)

FUN = FUN(K) #FUN KEY [FUN:KI] - she’s kinda the “queen of funk” (one of her albums is titled “FUNk This” (btw: Pun intended by her!)

TURTLE

CLUES

Location: school’s track & field event (Balzano Track Field) - contestants getting ready to run. The slow turtle surrounded by fast bunnies, all preparing for the event. [Slow & steady (turtle) wins the race]

Location: Schools track & field event - BANG! The race begings. The three other contestants (MIB as bunnies - wearing pink bunny ears - starting the race with a head start, all jumping on their blue bouncy balls)

VISUAL CLUES:

Turtle vs bunnies

BANG! in comic style - to mark the start of the race

The others (three bunnies) bouncing on blue balls whe n the race begins

Surf board - the turtle poliching/cleaning his poink & blue surf board

Pins on the track...popping the blue jumpy balls

Grilling burgers on an (outside) grill...on the track field.

Turtle crossing the finish line first (bunnies just going in circles, being stopped by pins on the way, or other reasons), as he has time to do other things & take it slowly, and then still get there first...with a burger in hand & winning the golden medal.

AUDIO CLUES/VOICE OVER:

"At the starting-line of my career I was surrounded by other hungry new-comers. It felt like everyone around me was fighting tooth-and-nail for the dream. And I watched as many of those stars burned too brightly, too quickly, and then fizzled down”

“I’m a turtle, because I’m always taking it step-by-step.”

“Slow and steady wins the race. But now I feel like I’m ready to break out of my shell. After years of preparation I would love to make a big splash. So I don’t want anyone to cross that finish line before me.”

ON STAGE CLUES:

Song choice: “Kiss from a Rose” by Seal

Look/Costume: Punk/Rock-style, dressed in leather (pants, jacket), has a spike (hair)

Height: Short-ish (shorter than host Nick) - seems around 175cm. Small in size.

Mic hand: Right

Talking: “It’s hot. It’s really hot. And it’s heavy!” (when answering how doesn it feel to be in that costume and perform in it)

GUESSES

Jesse McCartney

Joey McIntyre PS. I tried connecting the voice to any boy-bands (of 1990s & 2000s), but I coukdnt. Even after some “research” - listening to each possible candidate...and IMO it’s none of them. The voices dont match, the heights doesn’t match---But it did sound like someone, who for me was a one-hit-wonder. Yeah, I only know that one song (and one more) from him... but voice seemed familiar.

POSSIBLE MEANING OF CLUES:

Surf board = that he is a surfer; that he is from Cali/Australia/somewhere which is known as being popular among surfers; that he has won Teen Choice Award(s) (this award in in the shape of a surfboard)

being surrounded by other new-comers at the start of his career = either he got his start through a (singing) competition and was one of many contestants fighting for the win AND/OR he got his start in a “boy-band” and was one of the youngsters looking for fame...

Surf board = Teen Choice Awards - winning several TCAs for his first/biggest hit song/album in 2005, and more. And he’s played a surfer character on a TV show

BSB references/connection - he was the opening act in 2005 for BSB during the European part of the tour.

Dream = he started in a boy-band with the name “Dream Street”

on stage presence/body language (movements) = very similar to J.M.

WHITE TIGER

CLUES:

Location: Football field. Tiger striking a power/winners pose.

Location: School hallway, lockers. Tiger walking in, shoving everyone out of his way.

Locatrion: School library (sitting behind a table, with his legs on the table)

Location: School hallway, lockers. MIB trying to get him to audition for TMS. MIB (fans) taking selfies with him.

VISUAL CLUES:

Golden plate/sign with text: Ultimate champion for clam shucking: 51 clams” (next to a golden clam shell)

Sign/ad on the wall: “Masked Singer tryouts 5/3.” + images of three past masks included: Eagle, Lion & Raven. Plus the text: “Hurry. Not for long" also written on it.

Sign on the all with images of past US presidents, including Abe Lincolns & the text/quote “Four Score and Seven Years Ago...”

The TMS golden mask throphee shown next to the lockers (as Tiger says “let’s party!”)

AUDIO CLUES/VOICEOVER:

“Ready to meet your next champion? My entire life I’ve sought out perfection, so choosing a mask with unlimited power like the White Tiger was a no-brainer.”

“I’ve had a giant career full of accomplishments. But when I imagine being on stage (and) singing, I’m a big old scared cat.*

“It’s been a while since I did something that scared me, so I’m here to concour yet anither challenge.”

“What’s my motivation? My fans! I don’t wanna let them down."

“So now I’m ready to get in that ring and smash the competition.”

“Let’s party!”

ON STAGE CLUES:

Song choice “Ice Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice

Look/Costume: Dressed in “Egyptian style"

Height: very tall & big (much taller than host Nick) - over 190cm, looks about 2m tall

Mic hand: R & L (alternates)

Talking: “It’s the most powerful I’ve ever felt. Like I can concour anything. I never wanna take it off” (when answering what did it feel like when he first put on the costume/mask)

POSSIBLE MEANING OF CLUES:

He played during the 51st (51 clams) & 53rd (5/3) Super Bowl games.

The three past TMS masks shown are all animals that are parts of names of existing football teams: Ravens, Eagles, Lions. Meaning he is an athlete & specifically plays american football (NFL)

The Lincoln quote translates to “87 years ago...”, so number 87 is the clue here. This could be a reference to player No. 87.

He has had a very succesful career in his own field (sports). Singing is not his main job.

IF the voice-overs were done later, not during initial filming, then it’s possible that “smash” relates to the person smashing a lego-statue of a TV host during 2019/2020 New Years. Which in itself was supposed to be about his famous “Gronk Spike” during football games.

A tiger (albeit “regular”, not white) was one of the characters & costumes + name of the sports team in the Katy Perry video “Swish Swich”, where this athlete also appeared.

The Golden (Golden Mask) trophe - most likely a reference to his many wins (the trophees he/his team has won)

GUESSES:

Rob Gronkowski (Gronk, athlete, 198cm) = 99% certain it’s him

Because of the height alone (seems to be around/almost 2m = 6 feet 5) there are not that many possibilities at all. Even if we don’t listen to that voice or consider the clues. Based on height alone it can basiclaly be only one of these names: Dave Bautista (198cm); The Rock (196cm); Hulk Hogan (201cm); Tyler Perry (196cm); Brad Garrett (204cm); Joe Manganiello (196cm); Jeff Goldblum (194cm); Jason Mamoa (193cm); Tom Brady (193cm)..or the likes...

Even other possible names, like the ones listed by the panel, are not valid guesses, because of their height: John Cena for example is actually only 185cm tall. Also... several of these tall men are bigger/more muscular, so that makes it even easier to determine the name based on only the physical appeance...without even listening to the clues.

ROBOT

First mask to be voted out in ep 1

Havent listed his clues, cause there’s no use for them anymore, as he was voted off.

With his 86 tattoos he makes up for about half of all the 160 tattoos the 18 contestants have combined. With his 24-25 Grammy nominations he makes up about 1/3 of all the 69 noms the 18 contestants have combined. And quite many of the 88 gold records the 18 contestants have combined, belong to him (I don’t know the exact number, but most/all of his 10+ albums have gone gold, I think) - exact number depends on how they count it for this list.

<<<<< THIS IS WHAT GOES ON IN MY HEAD AFTER EVERY TMS SHOW/EPISODE. THIS IS HOW I CATEGORIZE THE INFO I HAVE INTO FOLDERS IN MY MIND. THIS IS HOW SPECIFIC I AM, AND HOW INTO DETAILS I GO. THIS IS HOW MUCH I PAY ATTENTION (while, most likely, missing a ton of more hints that I’ll only notice during re-watch) I JUST DECIDED TO WRITE IT DOWN...FOR ONCE.

BUT... unless I decide to cut some sleep time to do this again, I am probabky not gonna do this after every episode. Possibly for the first episode of every Group (so beside ep 1, also ep 4 & ep 7)

#THE MASKED SINGER #TMS #SPOILER #TMS SPOILER #TMS US #THE MASKED SINGER USA #THE MASKED SINGER SEASON 3 #TMS S3 #TMS SEASON 3 #THE MASKED SINGER S3 #MASKED SINGER

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eldritchsurveys · 5 years

Text

495.

England

Do you like to drink tea? >> I do.

Do you like to put sugar in your tea? >> No, I hate regular refined sugar. I use honey if I use anything.

Have you ever explored an ancient castle? >> No.

If you're a Christian, are you Catholic or Protestant? >> ---

Do you live in a big house? >> No, I live in an apartment.

Are there a lot of seagulls where you live? >> Yeah. Or, gulls, I guess. Since we’re not by the sea.

Do you have a garden? >> No.

Name something you own with the British flag on it. >> ---

What's your favorite part of London? >> I’ve never been.

If you've been to England, what was your favorite city you've visited? >> ---

If applicable, what is/was your favorite store in London? >> ---

Have you ever been lost in London? >> ---

Would you say your personality is British? Do you think you'd fit in there? >> I don’t... what? What is a “British personality”? I assume some parts of my personality would be useful there and other parts wouldn’t, depending on the cultural norms.

Do you have English ancestors, or are you from England? >> No.

Ireland

What is one of your favorite celtic songs? >> Not... sure, but my favourite Irish song is Óró Sé do Bheatha Bhaile.

Do you have red hair? >> No.

Are you Irish? >> No.

Name 5 redheads that you know. >> I don’t think I know any natural redheads.

Who in your family is/was a redhead? >> ---

If you've been to Ireland, what was your favorite city you visited? >> I haven’t been to Ireland.

Did you have any bad experiences in Ireland? >> ---

Do you celebrate St. Patrick's Day? >> No. St Patrick’s Day celebrations in the US tend to just be... throngs of people in garish green outfits doing pub crawls and reaching sloppy-drunk levels at like half past noon and generally being rowdy nuisances. Doesn’t seem like much fun to me.

Do you like Irish food? >> I don’t know, I’ve never had it.

What's one thing you like about ancient cathedrals? >> The acoustics.

Do you like rolling hills of green? >> Sure.

Do you like bagpipes? >> I mean, I’m ambivalent.

If you're Irish, what part of Ireland is your family from? >> ---

Do you like English accents or Irish accents better? >> Most Irish accents I enjoy more than most English accents.

China

What is your Chinese zodiac sign? Do you like it? Do you feel it fits your personality? >> I think it’s the Rabbit. I have no feelings about it, it doesn’t mean anything to me.

Do you like your American zodiac sign or Chinese zodiac sign better? >> I’m generally more interested in Western astrology.

Do you like Chinese food? >> It’s okay sometimes.

List three of your favorite Chinese foods. >> ---

Are you familiar with the topic of footbinding? >> Yeah.

What are your favorite books about the Chinese? >> ---

Do you know anyone Chinese? >> I might, I don’t know.

Who is your favorite Chinese youtuber? >> ---

Have you ever cooked Chinese food at home? >> No.

Are you familiar with the Great Chinese Famine? >> No.

Do you wish your school would teach you about other countries' history? >> I wish public schools in the US didn’t teach whitewashed and over-simplified versions of other countries’ histories (when they even bother -- because, you know, if a country hasn’t been to war with us or allied with us in a war, then they don’t exist).

Would you ever want to go to China? >> Sure.

Do you have any Chinese in your family? >> No.

Japan

Do you like sushi? If so, what are your favorite kinds? >> Sometimes. I like spicy rolls that don’t have weird ingredients like cream cheese or bacon in them.

What is your favorite manga series? >> I don’t have one.

Do you love Japanese street fashion? >> It’s fun to look at sometimes.

What color hair would you have as an anime character? >> White, of course.

Are you aware of the struggles of Japanese Americans during World War 2? >> Not in any real detail, but in a general sense.

What is your favorite Japanese name? >> ---

Do you like bonsai trees? >> Yeah.

What's one thing you think Americans should adopt from the Japanese? >> *shrug*

Have you ever listened to Jpop? >> A little.

Do you like Hello Kitty? >> Yeah, she’s adorable.

What is something you want to know about the Japanese? >> ---

Do you know anyone who's Japanese? >> Maybe.

Would you ever want to go to Japan? >> Sure.

Australia

Do you have blonde hair? >> No.

Do you live near a beach? >> Not a saltwater one.

Do you surf? >> No.

Who is your favorite Australian youtuber? >> ---

Do you watch The Norris Nuts? >> No.

Who is your favorite Australian fictional character? >> ---

What is your favorite song by Hillsong? >> Who?

Have you ever tried to surf? >> No. I can’t even swim, so.

Do you skateboard? >> No.

Have you ever been on an island? >> Manhattan, Long Island, and Staten Island...

Do you live on an island? >> No.

Do you like Australian accents or British accents better? >> Meh.

Have you ever heard the term, "Crikey, mate!" >> Yeah, I was alive during Steve Irwin’s lifetime...

Have you ever met anyone from Australia? >> Yeah.

Africa

Do you know anyone from Africa? >> Probably.

Are you familiar with the War on Sudan? >> No.

Do you own an Invisible Children shirt? >> No.

Have you been to Africa? >> No.

What's your favorite wild animal? >> *shrug*

Do you prefer dancing or drumming? >> I like to dance more than I like to drum.

Do you have good rhythm? >> I think I do.

Would you ever want to go to Africa? >> Sure.

What is a great African song? >> I don’t know any by name.

Have you ever tried African dancing? >> I did it when I was a child because my father enrolled me in it.

Do you own any African jewelry? >> No.

Ever danced to "Waka Waka"? >> No.

What's the furthest you've ever walked in one day? >> I used to live in NYC, so definitely at least a few miles.

Do you live in a mud hut? >> No.

Mexico

List 3 of your favorite Mexican foods. >> *shrug* Tacos, burritos, enchiladas...?

List 3 Mexican names you like. >> ---

List 3 people you know who are Mexican. >> I don’t know if I know any Mexicans.

Have you ever been to Mexico? >> No.

Would you ever want to go to Mexico? >> Absolutely.

Do you think you could handle being around people all the time? >> I know for a fact that I cannot.

Do you like spicy food? >> I love spicy food.

How do you do with crowds? >> I deal poorly.

Is it hot where you live? >> Not usually.

Do you like bright colors? >> Yes.

Can you speak Spanish? >> Not fluently.

Have you ever been to a fiesta? >> No.

Ever smacked a pinata? >> No.

What's your favorite thing to order at Taco Bell? >> I like those caramel empanada things. I don’t really like eating their food, though.

The Middle East

Are you Muslim? >> No.

Do you know any Muslims? >> I don’t think so.

Do you know anyone who wears hijab? >> No.

What are some of your favorite books about Muslims? >> ---

Ever been to a desert? >> No.

Would you want to ride a camel? >> I don’t think I’d enjoy that.

Did you watch the show Legends of the Hidden Temple? >> No.

Korea

Have you read To All the Boys I've Loved Before? Have you seen the movie? >> No and no.

Did you know that North Korea is closed? >> Yeah.

Would you ever want to visit South Korea? >> Sure.

Have you ever had Korean food? >> Yeah, my father served in the Korean War and has been eating Korean food ever since, so I was raised with it.

South America

Have you read The Spirit of the Rainforest? >> No.

Name one fact you know about Venezuela. >> I don’t know any facts about Venezuela.

Do you know anyone who lives in Peru? >> No.

Have you ever tried Peruvian food or drink? >> No.

Have you ever been to South America? >> No.

Do you know anyone from Brazil? >> No.

Would you ever want to visit South America? >> Sure.

Name someone you know who owns llamas. >> ---

Do you like llamas? >> They’re funky lookin’, I like them.

Have you ever sewn on a loom? >> No.

Do you own a skirt from Guetamala? >> No.

Do you ever wonder why we don't hear much about South America? >> I don’t wonder. The US media has little reason to report on goings-on in South America unless it has to do with the Amazon rainforest (because emotional impact) or some military thing (because duh).

Thailand

Do you like elephants? >> Yeah, they’re awesome.

WOuld you ever be brave enough to try walking on stilts? >> I don’t think so.

Do you know about sex trafficking in Thailand? >> I’m vaguely aware that it happens, but I don’t know any details about it.

Do you like Thai food? >> Yeah.

Do you know anyone who's Thai? >> I don’t think so.

United States

If you live in the US, which state do you live in? >> Michigan.

Which states have you visited? >> I get bored of naming them.

Which states have you lived in? >> ^

Have you ever been to Washington D.C? >> No.

What is your favorite American food? >> Hm.

Do you listen to popular music? >> Sure.

Do you dream of having two kids and maybe a dog? >> No. Well, the dog, yeah.

...and living in a two-story house with a white picket fence? >> No.

...and having a good job and saving for retirement? >> No.

....where you can retire to Florida and live on the beach? >> No.

Did you go to college? If so, what was your major? >> No.

Were you abused by your parents? >> No.

Do you know any nice people? >> Er...

How often do you bbq? >> Never.

What's your favorite ride at Cedar Point? >> Haven’t been. I didn’t realise Cedar Point was like, a big deal, but this year alone I think I’ve seen mention of it on at least like 4 surveys.

Other

What's the best family vacation you've been on? >> ---

What countries have you visited? >> None.

What countries do you want to visit? >> Almost all of them are fair game.

Have you ever been to NYC? >> I used to live there.

Do you live in a big city, small town, or other? >> I live in a small city right now.

Do you live in the city or country? >> More a suburban vibe than an urban one.

What is your favorite country besides your own? >> ---

What country do you live in? >> USA.

What is your ancestry? >> ---

Are you happy with the American government? >> I don’t think about the American government. But, yeah, it’s pretty eye-rolly right now.

What currency do you use? >> Bitcoin The dollar.

Do you think you have an accent? >> I would to a Southerner or a non-American, I’m sure.

Have you ever been told you have an accent? >> Yeah.

#surveys #survey #countries survey

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dxlansdarling · 5 years

Text

be there | e.d

Summary: You wanted to show your voice to the people you loved the most, but someone is missing.

Warning: Kinda angst? But fluff at the end

Word count: 2.616

Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes. The microphone was in your hands, still turned off, but in a few minutes it wouldn’t be. You wanted this, you had spent the last week practicing and practicing every day for this moment. You have never sung for anyone else but yourself, and when you saw a huge paper on a music-bar, saying that they were looking for some voices; you couldn’t help but write your contact on it. This was your chance.

Knowing you were this nervous, you asked only a few people to come to see you: Grayson, your best friend, and his girl, which also happened to be your girl best friend. And of course, your beautiful boyfriend, Ethan. It was a huge surprise for him knowing that his girl could sing but never showed it, so of course he was excited to see you on the little stage. He was really tired and busy that week, but he said and promised he was going to make it.

The girl who was hosting the little show went up the stage as soon as the song that a band was playing ended. She smiled at the few people that where on the bar, and raised her microphone to her mouth so she could speak.

“So awesome!” she almost shouted, making the speaker creek because of her high sound. “It’s so sad that it’s coming to an end, but we have one more person that is going to take our breath away with her voice!”

She never heard me sing.

“Let’s welcome the beautiful and talented, Y/N!”

You took one last breath before showing yourself on the stage. You could hear some people clapping, other chattering, and suddenly, a little scream. Your cheeks instantly blushed. Grayson was hollering your name, and his girl was laughing beside him but clapping loudly. You would have smiled at them, you were really happy they were there. But when your eyes landed on the empty chair beside them, your heart stung.

He wasn’t there.

It seemed that your face showed your surprise and disappointment, because when you looked at Gray, he was looking at you too, but sadly. He shrugged his shoulders and mouthed an “I don’t know”. Swallowing your feelings as soon as you started to feel them trying to prick your eyes, you looked at the girl beside you.

“Thank you very much” you said, and clearing your throat, you showed your best smile “This song meant a lot to me when I was growing up, and as it is the first time I sing in public, I thought this was the chance to express myself with it”

You sat on the high chair that was on the middle of the stage, moving the microphone’s stick so it could be at your height while sitting. Looking at the guy that was waiting for your sign so the song could start, he nodded his head as soon as you looked at him and the song started playing.

Me prendí fuego para despojarme (I set myself on fire to deprive myself)

Para desvestirme para desnudarme. ( To undress me, to undress me)

Me incendie toda para no quedarme (I set myself on fire so I couldn’t stay)

Ni aun ni en el viento podrás encontrarme. (Not even in the wind you will find me)

You felt betrayed. He promised he would be there. You understood the fact that he was busy and tired, but so were you every time you went with him everywhere. Recording his videos, editing them, making some videos with him and Gray; all that, knowing that sometimes there was no time to rest. You’d been dating for more than a year now, and in all that time, you have never asked for anything, because you didn’t need to. And the one time you asked him to be there for you, because you needed him to, he couldn’t do it.

Y fui luz, fui destello (And I was light, I was flash)

Fui dolor, fui humana... (I was pain, I was human)

Cuando fuiste agua (When you were wáter)

Yo crecí en llamas (I grew up in flames)

Y cuando fuiste fuego (And when you were fire)

Me cayeron las lágrimas, lágrimas. (I cried tears, tears)

Y cuando fuiste sueño (And when you were a dream)

Yo estaba despierta (I was awake)

Y tú tan dormido (And you so asleep)

No te diste cuenta, ni cuenta. (You didn’t even notice, even notice)

The tears were really trying to let themselves fall, but it was your first time on a stage, you didn’t want to cry, not even because of Ethan. You repeated yourself that, trying to soothe the pain inside your heart, while trying to continue with the song.

Me prendí fuego para que me vieras ( I set myself on fire so you could see me)

Pero estabas ciego y ya no sentías (But you were blind and didn’t feel anything)

Y ahora qué quieres encontrarme toda (And now that you want to find me completely)

No hay fuego ni llama ni amor ni ceniza. (There is no fire, no flame, no love, no ashes)

Y fui luz, fui destello (And I was light, I was flash)

Fui dolor, fui humana... (I was pain, I was human)

Cuando fuiste agua (When you were wáter)

Yo crecí en llamas (I grew up in flames)

Y cuando fuiste fuego (And when you were fire)

Me cayeron las lágrimas, lágrimas. (I cried tears, tears)

Y cuando fuiste sueño (And when you were a dream)

Yo estaba despierta (I was awake)

Y tú tan dormido (And you so asleep)

No te diste cuenta, ni cuenta. (You didn’t even notice, even notice)

Soy el aire en ti, volando sin fin (I am the air on you, flying without end)

Soy la gota de amor volviendo a sumar (I am the drop of love added back again)

Soy tu alma sin luz que ya se olvidó (I am your sould without light that has already forgotten)

En ese corazón que ya se paró. (In that heart that has already stopped)

You blinked so many times, you really did. You tried anything to stop the tears, but as soon as you felt the first one, then there was another, and another, and so it went. The people watching you probably thought you were emotional because of the song and the meaning it had for you, but only two of them that were looking at you intently knew the real reason behind your wet cheeks.

Y fui luz, fui destello (And I was light, I was flash)

Fui dolor, fui humana... (I was pain, I was human)

Cuando fuiste agua (When you were water)

Yo crecí en llamas (I grew up in flames)

Y cuando fuiste fuego (And when you were fire)

Me cayeron las lágrimas, lágrimas. (I cried tears, tears)

Y cuando fuiste sueño (And when you were a dream)

Yo estaba despierta (I was awake)

Y tú tan dormido (And you so asleep)

No te diste cuenta, ni cuenta te diste. (You didn’t even notice, even notice)

No te diste cuenta, ni cuenta. (You didn’t even notice, even notice)

No te diste cuenta, ni cuenta (You didn’t even notice, even notice)

No te diste cuenta, ni cuenta. (You didn’t even notice, even notice)

A sob wanted to escape your mouth as soon as you stopped singing. You could hear people clapping again, others hollering, and other where whistling. You feel your heart proud of yourself, even though the pain, you felt proud of yourself. But the only person who you wanted to really be there, was somewhere else, not working because his brother was watching your perfomance, and forgot completely about your night.

You were more disappointed than proud.

♦

The ride back home was silent. The only noise you could hear was the beat of the song that was played on a radio station. Neither Gray nor his girl said anything about Ethan, not only because you didn’t want to ask, but because they also were pissed off with him. Gray tried to contact him all afternoon, but his brother was nowhere to be seen or known.

The car stopped in front to the twins’ house, and even when the engine stopped under you, you didn’t get off the car. You were alone at the back; you wanted to be there so you could silently cry your heart out without having someone next to you, looking at you or trying to comfort you.

You were really hurt.

Gray’s eyes met yours when both of you looked at the rear-view mirror. He sighed.

“I am going to kill him, I promise”

Smirking a little bit, you tried to joke with him.

“We will take turns.”

If Ethan didn’t die after his brother’s turn.

Closing the car’s door after you got out, you froze on your place when you heard an angry scream and a curse, followed by some orders or something like that. Grayson could hear it to, and looking sideways at you, he lunged at the door. You and his girlfriend went right behind him, trying to stop him while he was walking to his brother’s room. He was fuming and he was going to kill his brother.

Almost breaking the door, Grayson glared at his brother, who had his eyes wide opened, with one of the headphones behind his ears and the joystick in his hands. He didn’t even saw you behind Grayson, he was much bigger than you and you were easily hidden behind his back.

“Grayson, what the--? What’s wrong?”

Oh no.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Ethan?! ‘What’s wrong’?!” he exploded, walking to Ethan who instantly let his headphones fall as soon as he stood up from his computer chair “Where the fuck were you all this time?”

Ethan furrowed his eyebrows.

“I was here playing some games, we didn’t have to work today, did we?” he asked confused, still not looking at your direction. Grayson’s girlfriend almost slapped her forehead with her palm after hearing Ethan’s question. “Did something happen?”

If you didn’t speak, Grayson was going to murder him. So clearing your throat, you make yourself notice.

“You didn’t come, Ethan.”

His hazel eyes landed on you the moment he heard your voice, and you could see the worry on his stare as soon as he noticed your tear stained cheeks. He looked confused too, still not comprehending the situation.

“What do you mean? What did I miss?”

Before you could answer, Grayson shoved his phone onto his brother’s chest. Ethan looked down, and when the video his brother opened on his phone started playing, he was speechless. As he listened to you singing that beautiful song, his heart stung with guilt and regret. You sang beautifully, but his heart completely broke when he saw the tears falling of your eyes when you were on the stage. And he knew, he knew he fucked up so bad.

When the video finished, the room fell silent. You didn’t want to speak, you thought that if you tried to, only mumbles and incoherent words would come out. That’s how you were; shy and awkward when it comes to trying to not to break in front of someone. So instead of saying something, you excused yourself and walked as fast as possible to the nearest bathroom, where you locked yourself, and finally, let the sob you were trying to hold since the second you noticed Ethan’s absence at the bar.

You felt stupid for crying. It was supposed to be the best night ever, where you should be proud instead of sad and disappointed, which made things worse, because it angered you that your night ended like shit. If it wasn’t because you were trying to be so loud with your crying, the slam of a door would have scared you. That was probably Grayson going to his room, and you confirmed it when you heard Gray’s girl say some loud stuff to Ethan before slamming the door again.

It wasn’t until some seconds later, or probably a minute, that you heard some heavy footsteps walk up to the other side of the door.

“Y/N? Baby?” you heard Ethan’s soft voice call “Can-Can you please open? I want to apologize, like, so bad. I-I have no excuses, I know, but-please, can you unlock the door?”

A part of you didn’t want to open the door. You still needed to calm or soothe the pain in your heart, and you had a little bit of pride when it came to betrayal. But it was your silly and cute boyfriend the one who was begging you not only to open the door, but to forgive him. Yes, you were still pretty mad, but he did have his right to explain himself or at least make a good apologize speech before you break his nose with a slam of the door.

Unlocking the door, you sighed before opening it. You had to look up to stare directly at his eyes, the height difference between you two was huge. He still had his brother’s phone in his hands, but his hazel eyes were on you, and when he opened his mouth to say something, he closed his eyes.

“You have no idea how fucking sorry I am. I-I don’t know what happened to me, I don’t know how I could forget a date so important to you. I just don’t know. But what I know is that you’re amazing, you’re so beautiful and so talented. And meanwhile, I’m a jerk that doesn’t deserves to be listened to right now but that needs to tell you how sorry he is and how much he loves you. With all his heart. And I’m really proud of you, baby, you fucking slayed up there.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the end of his speech, tilting your head backwards and shaking it while still laughing. He was good with words, not with dates, but he really mended all the pain with some words. And that was one of the many reasons you were in love with Ethan Dolan.

When he regretted something, he knew exactly what to say to make you believe he was sorry.

Your eyes landed on him again, and then on his hands that were playing with the corner of the phone’s case. That was his nervous habit, which made you smile a little bit, and looking at his eyes again, you sighed.

“I’m going to draw you a fucking calendar next time, okay?”

Ethan smiled.

“Big on my room’s wall please.”

Laughing again, you threw yourself into your boyfriend’s arms, that hugged you tightly and warmly against his chest. You felt his lips kiss the top of your head, and his chin rest on top of it after that.

“I love you, baby, and I love your voice.”

Smiling against the soft material of his hoodie, you smelled his scent.

“I love you too, assclown.”

Not only he was good with his words, but also he was good when it comes to make ups. Because the next day, as soon as you woke up and walked to the kitchen to get your morning coffee, you felt you heart beat so fast at the sight of a little stage made up with some boxes and chairs, meanwhile Ethan was sitting with his legs crossed on the floor, with Grayson and his girl beside him.

He was there.

first imagine here♥ i really hope you like it!

#ethan dolan #imagine #dolantwins #dolan twins #ethan #dolan #grayson #grayson dolan #graysondolan #singing #angst #cute ending #cute ethan #fuming grayson #first imagine

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the-kouchfort · 5 years

Note

All the munday questions. All of them. Every single one. WRITHE IN YOUR HUBRIS

You asked for it

ᄏ: Play any instruments? Yep. I play the viola and the piano

ω: Have you ever dyed your hair? If so, what color(s)? Oh hell yeah. I’ve had it every color but yellow and orange. Blues and purples are my favorite.

△: Have you ever painted the walls of your room? Yep. It’s been a while, though.

【・ヘ・?】: Ever tripped in front a bunch of people? YEP. The worst one was in the parking lot of church when I was a kid. Fell on my face, broke the glass casserole dish I was carrying, and my dress went up over my head. So. Yeah. That was a fun one. Luckily, I didn’t get any glass in my torso.

＊: When was the last time you tied your hair up? (if your hair is long enough) A few days ago!

旦: Last time you drove your car (if you can drive/have one)? The last time I drove my own car was the night my severe anxiety was triggered. Whole horrible story, and the reason I cowered from thunderstorms for about a decade.

愛: Are you currently dating? Nope. I have been married for 20 years as of last Halloween.

太: When it’s New Year’s, do you make New Year Resolutions and actually commit to them? Nope. I used to, but now I know I won’t actually keep them, so why do it, and just feel awful about it later?

＠: Ever felt attracted to the opposite sex before? Mmmmmhm. I am bi/pansexual, so, there’s that ^_^

空: Did you ever throw up after one roller coaster ride or a few? Nope. I’ve ridden one coaster in my life, and never since then.

☆: Have you ever played games such as ‘Spin the Bottle’? lol, yep. Loooooong time ago.

⊙: Are you happy with where you are in life right now? .... this is a loaded question. I don’t have the inclination to unpack all of it right now, but lets just say... yes, and no. ピ: Did you like Pokemon as a child? When I was a child, it was the 70′s and 80′s, so... no ♪: Do you find yourself singing or humming to yourself sometimes? Allll the time.If I’m not humming randomly, or singing an actual song, then I’m singing random notes that sound good together with nonsensical sounds.

☁: Ever wanted to learn a foreign language? In 2nd and 3rd grade I learned both french and german (though I remember almost nothing of them.), and all through jr. high I learned Spanish and was fluent in it up to that sort of level, but I remember almost none of it, as well, through lack of anyone to practice with.

ス: Have you ever swallowed gum? Yup.

⅚: Post the link if your current favorite song. Omfg, this is a hard one. Music is the underlying fabric of my life. Sure, that sounds dramatic, but it’s true. Maybe this one, as it’s something that’s so fucking hard for me to remember, and I need the reminder every day:

undefined

youtube

ღ: Post a gif of what you’re currently feeling right now.

≘: Have you ever watched the sun rise? One of my favorite things to do was to go camping in the winter. One of my favorite things to do while out there in the middle of nowhere was to wake up early, and watch the stars fade, the sun rise, all while sipping a nice cup of coffee, and wrapped in a blanket in front of my fire. Ahhh, yes, good memories.

☄: Would you defend a friend if they were in danger? Always. Without thought to my own safety. It’s just part of who I am. ➍: Ever been to a concert? Was it fun? Yes, and yes.

♛: Do you like group projects? Deeeepends on what it is. If it’s a creative thing, then I’d prefer to work alone. Everyone has their own vision, their own creative style. I’ve seen group creaative projects go so wrong because everyone wants their vision, and they end up ignoring others’ input.

高: How often do you use headphones/earbuds? Every day. My hearing is way too keen to be able to deal with life without them. The Spouse likes to say I can hear a mouse fart a mile away.

ಲ: Headphones or earbuds? Earbuds. Headphones kick off my chronic pain, and I do everything I can to avoid that pain.

♞: Showers or baths? SHOWERS. BATHS ARE GROSS. IT’S JUST YOU SWIMMING IN YOUR OWN DEAD SKIN, BODILY OILS, AND CROTCH AND BUTT STUFF. GOOD GOD NO.

✗: Walks on the beach or in a forest? Both? But if I had to pick, I’d choose a forest. Too many people at a beach now-a-days.

⊙﹏⊙: Which horror movie scared you the most? If any? The original IT when I was a kid, but only because of a very specific prank pulled by my best friend’s brother that had me screaming, and running. They found me a mile away, standing in the middle of the road (it was 1am), just staring at nothing, and swaying side to side. Clowns, after that, have been a terror for me.

^∇^: Has your best friend ever made you angry? Of course. We’re human. Also, everyone pisses me off at one point or another. However, she’s one of the two people who has pissed me off least often in the entire world.

( ．＿．）: Do you think you are an awkward person? Depends on the circumstance. I’m more panic-ridden, and terrified than awkward.

メ: Cupcakes or muffins? Hm. Idk. They both have their plus sides. If there’s milk, then muffins. If not, then cupcakes.

♯: Would you like to be able to fly? YES. I’ve had dreams of flying since I was a kid. About as often as I’ve had dreams of swimming to the bottom of the deepest parts of the ocean. Half of the time it was just something I did in grocery stores, for some reason. That is, until I started thinking about it too much, and lost the ability, and smashed into the floor face first. Sadly, it always happens.

ℝ: What color shirt are you currently wearing? Black, as usual. Æ: What color underwear did you wear yesterday? Parti-colored. Purple, blue, black, pink.

☪: Have you ever flipped off someone? Ohhh yeah.

♬: Cats or dogs? Uhhh... both? Almost all animals! I’d have just about anything for a pet, from spiders and snakes, to rats, to cats, ferrets, dogs, horses... yes. Lots. 礼: Would you swim in the lake or ocean? Yes. の: Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate, every time.

◐: Have you ever seen a meteor shower? Yes, and they’re always amazing. ᄇ: Have you ever broken a bone? Broke both of my wrists at the same time while helping my aunt to get her horse trained for a dressage competition.

ℨ: If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? I... have no idea. I can’t pin it down to one thing. If I have to pick, then I’ll go nuts, and say to the edge of the universe to see what’s there.

♔: Know the Duck Song? The Llama Song? Banana Phone? Yes, and fuck you. ۞: What shows did you watch when you were a child? Punky Brewster, Silver Spoon, things like that. ▼: Could you live without the internet? I mean... yeah, sure, but I would go fucking crazy locked in this apartment with no outlet, and no contact with people. Д: Strangest food you’ve eaten? Chicken feet? Menudo (tripe)? Shark? I’ve tortured myself by trying durian, something I will NEVER do again. *insert vomiting gif here*, gator? Buffalo? *shrug* Depends on what you consider weird? 까: Cookies or brownies? Brownies if they’re well-cooked and gooey, Cookies if they are similarly soft in the middle, and a bit crisp on the outside.

came back to the computer to actually post this. has been sitting here for a few hours now. lol. now back to bed for my appointment in the morning. boo mornings.

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emletish-fish · 6 years

Text

Worst Prisoner Swamp notes:

ff.net

ao3

Notes:

This chapter covers the swamp to the start of the blind bandit.

So the swamp shows you people you love, irrespective of time (ie Aang seeing Toph in the swamp before meeting her. Hands down, I thought they were foreshadowing eventual Taang and I was so pleased. Much older Toph and Aang could actually be so good for each other. Aang needs grounding and Toph needs someone to help smooth those super abrasive and defensive edges and brave enough to climb over her defensive walls.)

Katara and Zuko first bonded about their mothers and I wanted to elaborate on a conversation about that, but I couldn't really find a place for it in book one. I felt like it would be perfect here as a flashback. Mostly because the swamp brings up a lot of issues for Katara, but also because by this point, I missed writing my drama llamas together. Just look at them, they are beautiful together.

Zuko's mum: So I think Ursa tried. However, I think she would have enjoyed Zuko's company more. Hands down that woman loved both those kids, but one of them was infinitely easier to be around than the other. She probably concentrated on teaching Zuko more, because he was receptive. Whereas I think Azula got more scoldings from her mother.

The flipside of this, and goodness have I seen it countless times, is that when there are two or more children, and one is very challenging – the “good one” is put under enormous pressure to always be “good”, because the adults don't want to deal with two difficult ones. I think that Ursa would have been quick to correct any behaviour Zuko showed that she didn't like. She would have done this lovingly, but she would have still done it, because she needed one “good” and “manageable” kid.

I am not at all with the Azula apologists who blame Ursa for 'withholding affection' and that's why Azula is the way she is. In the flashback we see Ursa scolding Azula a lot and that is because Azula's behaviour is deserving of a scolding. Ursa is trying to set boundaries. Azula is not an easy kid to raise right, but lordy is that woman trying. Azula is a product of her environment while also being responsible for herself and her choices.

I think Azula loves Zuko and her mother, deep down, in one big, hellish tangled ball of complicated feelings – which I will delve into when we get to it. Katara sees them as complete opposites, because in her mind Zuko = good, friend and Azula = evil gremlin. She doesn't want to see any similarity between them – but those two have more than a nose in common.

I can see Ursa trying to give them a more rounded knowledge of the world and an appreciation of the things she loved, like music. I chose tacky dramatic plays – because my goodness, both Zuko and Azula are ridiculously dramatic. I hate the comics and pretend they don't exist. I think rather than Ursa being a common actress, she was a noblewoman who was just really into the theatre. Zuko and Azula both learned that being super dramatic got their mother's attention and brought her amusement.

I also think the Ember Island Players were always that terrible.

Anyway, Zuko can remember a lot more fine detail about his mother, purely by virtue of being older before she vanished. Katara was young when her mother died. She was what? Seven? How much can the average person remember from when they were seven? I think this is why Katara couldn't interact with the vision of her mother more completely and why there was no sound/dialogue between them. She doesn't exactly remember what her mother's voice sounded like.

It's also really clear to me that Katara and Sokka don't really talk about her together. Katara brings her mother up will all and sundry random dudes, but Sokka looks really taken aback whenever she brings up Kya around him. I can't even say it's because it's old grief, as Katara is still hurting. My best guess is that as Katara assumed a more motherly role in Sokka's life, they talked about Kya less. Tragically, I think th thing Katara remembers the most clearly about her mother is how her mother died, because it was traumatically burned on her memory. Poor girl.

So the shared dream – give me this tacky trope lovely readers. I know, I know. It is tacky. But ATLA had gifted me a magic “everything is connected” tree and I am going to use it. That's why I had Zuko explicitly mention that he was sleeping under an banyan tree last chapter – because the trees are connected and...the trees know they miss each other and give them a dream hook-up, and...spiritual mumbo-jumbo, etc. Just give me this tacky, romantic trope.

So Zuko has given up/lost nearly everything. He's had to completely give up his identity, and his quest and everything he defined himself by. It just makes sense that his bending would be affected. So I have brought his season three storyline forward. Iroh's wisdom from under lake Lagoai is also brought forward. So Zuko will be on a quest to find what really matters. You go, you soft little bean. I’m sure it will be fun for you.

The thieving vigilante bit: I think this was an important milestone for Zuko, and while he didn't steal Song's ostrich horse in the last chapter, I still think he needs to get his vigilante on and explore some of his lower impulses. He's low-key ashamed of it (because his mama raised him better than to be a common thief, and that is why he is always lying to Iroh), but he is learning a lot about himself through it.

So swamps typically symbolise low points in character's journeys and places where a hard truth is learned, or properly understood. Poor Zuko is getting pretty close to rock bottom at this point. I think it would make sense that he would resist his Uncle's hopeful musings – because he has no hope and he thinks there is no point in being optimistic. There really isn’t much more left for him to lose. Soon we will see Zuko beginning to build himself back up, from scratch, away from his abusive environment and discovering things that really matter to him. He'll regain his sense of identity and purpose away from the terrible influence of his father and sister.

Honest Confession time: I think Yang Chen and Kyoshi were the bomb, and also infinitely better at being the Avatar than Roku and Kuruk. Both those women were so competent.

Look at her! Look at what she did!

If Aang can commune with his past lives, Kyoshi and Yang Chen would serve him much better as mentors. Because, hands down, Roku could have made life, the universe and everything one thousand times easier for Aang if he had just had the gonads to do his duty. Aang is very different from Kyoshi, but goodness does she have wisdom for him.

I think Kyoshi and Yang Chen had the best wisdom for Aang. I didn't like how he dismissed her in Sozin's comet. I thought it was a bit disrespectful to be honest. I don’t think Aang means to, but it has cornered himself into favouring letting a tyrant live and thousands of others die, because he doesn’t want to do his duty for personal reasons (just like Roku).

If Aany only draws wisdom from one source (Roku) it becomes rigid and stale. Aang needs to learn from his other past lives. I wanted Aang and Kyoshi to have a conversation, and get to hash out their differences and come to understand each other better. I wanted Aang to see the human side of Kyoshi, and her to thaw a little towards Aang and give him a break and encourage him.

When Aang confesses he didn't want to be the Avatar, I think Kyoshi would have known exactly how that feels. It's a pretty mixed blessing being the avatar. Anyway, I've always wanted to write a more philosophical conversation between those two, and so I am indulging myself a bit here, but I hope you enjoyed it.

Next Chapter: TOPH!!! (she needs the caps).

#the worst prisoner #Emletish rants #emletish writes #emletish fic #Azula #Zuko #Katara #Zutara #Sokka #Aang #Toph #taang #Iroh #Kyoshi

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wegotjiminsjams · 6 years

Text

Drama Llama 2

Chapter: 2

Jin X Reader

Word Count: 2002

Genre: Angst, fluff, humour (maybe?), enemies to lovers

You wake up before the alarm and wonder where your life is headed, if there is even a slight possibility that your mother may change her mind and not force you into this, but you didn’t want to be late again so you manage to convince yourself to get dressed and head to class.

The saying that you can never be prepared enough for a day is true in your case. Today, Mr. Lee has prepared an activity, everyone is divided into groups and each group has to present a mad ad. Basic guidelines have been given, like having a slogan, song or a catch phrase, something that would convince your audience to buy the product you are advertising. You wonder how would mad ads help you in developing your acting skills and you decide to ask Mr. Lee.

However you get a reply from Seokjin, “Ofcourse Ms.Arrogant wouldn’t know this. You see y/n Mad ads test how creative and convincing you can be as an actor. Both of which I’m sure you are not” he says in a condescending tone.

“Oh and you are? I can see how creative you are with your pathetic insults, so you shouldn’t be talking” you reply, successfully shutting him up.

You could hear the other people in your class whispering about you and Seokjin but you decided to shut everyone’s mouth by your performance today. You had taken part in enough activities in your school, to have the confidence that you would be good at this. Mr. Lee gave the class about an hour’s time to come up with an idea and present it. After the performances there would be an evaluation, more like a feedback session both from Mr.Lee and from the rest of the class. You wanted to get a good feedback and for a beginner you decided to play safe and stick to something easy, advertising for cosmetics, a product easily bought by a lot of people. Everyone in your group agreed to the idea of playing safe. You get to know the people in your group and it makes you happy that there are certain people who can see past the initial judgement you had been put through and treat you like another classmate rather than the daughter of y/m/n or an arrogant brat.

The presentations begin with Jin’s group, although you didn’t care much for it you had to admit that there was something really offbeat about their concept and they somehow managed to pull it off. Another person, Jung Hoseok, who was a part Seokjin’s group was extremely good at dancing and rapping and skillfully included this into their sketch. The performances took place one after the other and after each performance everyone was given five minutes to note down any pointers and the final evaluation would happen after everyone’s performance.

Your group was the last to perform, you were so nervous after seeing everyone’s performance you thought you would mess it up. But everything went as planned and you were proud and happy that your idea worked. The class was given a break for half an hour after which everyone had to assemble for the feedback session.

The class begins by evaluating Seokjin’s group, no one had anything bad to say about them and though you hated to admit that theirs was the best group performance of the day you decided to keep your personal differences away and praised their performance. They had the maddest mad ad of all you could say, Seokjin even included a dad joke which surprisingly fit in. However Mr. Lee had something to say, things like not giving the weaker members of their group a spotlight was not a good decision, it was a group activity and everyone had to be given a fair chance.They lacked teamwork. He appreciated their effort but told them to keep in mind that they must not let all this appreciation feed their ego and must work more hard next time.

As the feedback session proceeded you could see not many could take what was said to them in a positive way, many lashed out at Mr.Lee too. It was your team’s turn and you were hoping that you wouldn’t do anything stupid and would only take things in a positive way and work on improving yourself. The feedback you received was good more or less, you could have done better but you thought you didn’t perform badly.

You were feeling quite proud of yourself until Seokjin opened his mouth and said, “Now now y/n wasn’t it too easy for you to just take something that has been done many times already? Your idea lacked originality, you played it safe so you would receive only positive reviews didn’t you?”

You wanted a chance to explain yourself that not everyone in your group was familiar with mad ads and you only chose this so everyone would feel included but he continued, “Too difficult for Ms. Arrogant to face criticism?”

You just couldn’t take it anymore and you yelled,” Shut up you Jerk! Everyone is not perfect. At least I was considerate enough to do something that everyone in the group would be comfortable doing, unlike you, you just went ahead with what you thought was good for you and only you!”

To which Jin responded “Oh so now you’re jealous of me?”

“Jealous of someone with pathetic dad jokes like you? Oh please. Do you even---”

“That’s enough Seokjin and y/n!” your instructor cut you off before you could even complete your sentence. “This is a class and I would like it if you can behave like mature adults. I will not tolerate this sort of behaviour again, whatever you both have to say to each other please say it in your own time.” he gave a stern look conveying how done he was the two of you bickering again.

You turned to the professor, thoroughly embarrassed that Seokjin had managed to rile you up and made you lose your cool in front of the whole once again. You heard Seokjin mumble a small apology before doing the same to not cause anymore unwanted attention towards yourself. Mr. Lee seemed to accept that and then proceeded to gather everyone in a circle to address the theoretical part of this class.

“Now the reason for this activity was to help you learn the importance of constructive criticism, teamwork, enunciation, co-ordination and screen presence” As he droned on about the origin, history and relevance of Mad Ads you couldn’t help but think of Seokjin.

You were still so furious and agitated. Like what does he think of himself? Just because he is good looking and maybe somewhat good at acting doesn’t mean he can treat others like shit! You’ve seen him hang out with this guy named Hoseok in class but you doubt he has any real friends.

You are so consumed in your thoughts that you don’t realise class is over.

“Before you all leave, I want to inform you all that the whole of next week you will each be assigned a partner and have to do a thorough research on any one famous playwright’s works and style of writing. By the end of the week I expect both members of each pair to perform a satire that brings out the chosen playwright’s essence. I will be judging you all on the depth of your research and how well you portray your chosen playwright's style” say Mr. Lee

“I will be emailing you all about your assigned partners with more details about this assignment so please look forward to that” he says dismissing the class.

You say a quick goodbye to Sooyoung, not wanting to linger any longer than needed in this place. Over the past few days you had developed a friendly relationship with Sooyoung, she was a fellow classmate and didn’t judge you based on your background unlike a certain someone. Plus she was actually fun to hang out with and complain about what a dickhead Seokjin really was. However for some reason she always had an amused expression on her face whenever you ranted about him to her. Nevertheless she was always there to listen to you ramble on and it felt quiet nice to have an actual friend in this shithole.

~~~~

To put it lightly, Jin was upset, and partly upset with himself. He knew he shouldn’t have caused a scene in class but he just couldn’t help himself. After your performance, you looked so smug and arrogant that he couldn’t help himself. Although your idea was nothing out of the ordinary yet you managed to pull it off and the thing that annoyed Jin the most was that everyone seemed to only have praises for your team. He knew you were already too arrogant and don’t need any more of an ego boost. So he decided to point out your flaws, he knew that being the spoiled brat that you are you are not used to criticism in any form. Everyone always praised you, no wonder why you thought so highly of yourself. And from the way you reacted, turns out he was right, you’ve never been criticized before and to see that frown on your beautiful features just brought Jin all the happiness in the world. You were too arrogant for your own good and someone needed to teach you that you can’t get everything that you want. Although Jin does admit that he could have been a little more tactful and not cause another scene but there is something about you that causes him to forget all his rationality.

As soon as class is over, he heads over to a nearby cafe with Hoseok, a usual occurrence since they formed a friendship on the first day and both of them liked to grab a snack and discuss about class and homework.

“You know for someone who hates y/n, she sure does occupy your thoughts a lot” hoseok says bringing Jin back from his thoughts

“What do you mean?”

“You were thinking of her right?” Hoseok says with a knowing smirk

“What? How did you know? And what are you implying by this?” Jin says in a defensive tone

“Nothing I’m just saying even though you hate y/n, all you do talk about her and notice even the slightest things she does. So maybe you feel differently towards her and this behaviour of yours is just a defense mechanism.”

Utterly baffled by Hoseok’s statement Jin almost spits out his coffee “Are you crazy? I feel nothing but annoyance towards y/n and that’s that! And you are the one bringing her up now not me so it’s you who’s obsessed with her!” he says exasperated

“Alright if you say so” Hoseok smiles innocently “Anyway I gotta rush see you tomorrow, try not much about y/n” he chuckles

Before Jin can even comprehend what he said Hoseok was out of the cafe. “I’ll get him tomorrow”

~~~~

You come back home your mood already sour from earlier, only to have an argument with your mother. It was the same old, you not wanting to attend this stupid class and her forcing her dreams onto you. You were so done with everyone and everything that you just shut yourself in your room, not wanting any human interaction whatsoever.

You open your laptop, to watch a movie to take your mind off things when you see a notification of a new email. You click on it to find that it’s your professor’s email and he has shared the list of partners. You pray to God that you get Sooyoung, because although everyone may not be that bad (well except for a certain someone) you really are most comfortable with Sooyoung.

You scroll down to see the name of your partner and your heart stops beating. There in bold letters Kim Seokjin’s name is written right next to yours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Hope you like it!

#bts fanfic #bts scenarios #bts fluff #bts angst #jin fluff #jin angst #bts seokjin #enemies to lovers #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #bts #drama llama

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anotherfandomok · 6 years

Text

Interactive Introverts Richmond Summary! (Part 1 bc rambling)

Ok. My experience and a general summary. I'm gonna do my best I couldn't believe it was happening, before, after, or during it, and now I can't believe it happened. So.

I didn't get ready way too early this time! I loved my outfit it was so cute, and I drew whiskers on my wrist and my cousin did too :). I went over to my cousin's, and my aunt drove us to my uncle's office in Richmond. He took us to II it was so awesome of him. I was flipping out.

We got there and took pics with the signs and stuff I was vibrating and bouncing and shit I was so excited. We lined up and got in doors opened at six and it was a lot of little short lines so we got in really quickly. Immediately I wanted to go downstairs for merch.

We got in the merch line and like really like ahead in the line I was so proud of getting there so fast.

And I saw the like stand up thing background for the m&g?????? So I was like um wtf are they actually right there like thirty feet away from me? So I was watching it and had my phone ready to video. I SAW PHIL LESTER WITH MY OWN EYES LEAN FORWARD AND HUG SOMEONE. y'all you don't understand his hair is SO. BLACK. like it actually shocked me how black it was I guess it doesn't translate.

But anyway they had the last few people do the m&g, and then they left and Dan waved really quick and we all cheered and I GOT A VIDEO OF THEM AKFNDJSFBWJD.

Also, fan project tonight super cute just a pic of Virginia that said "VA LOVES YOU" I didn't know about it until I got there, but someone handed me a stack and asked me to pass them out and I was like um hell yes so I did that.

Anyway, we moved forward in the merch line and yo the line got so long I was so happy we went straight there omg. The merch setup was like really good! Very efficient they had a long table and everything up with prices and stuff it was so well set up and the guy who helped me was super nice.

I got both short sleeved shirts and the long sleeved shirt, as well as a hat and a poster, and my cousin got the hoodie, a poster, and the marble shirt. Cute as hell! It went really smoothly and quickly it was awesome and we just got right through.

We went to the bathroom and it had a lil ledge so we folded and organized our stuff and then went to the bathroom. Tbh the bathrooms there were REALLY nice, and not crowded at all when I went! The theatre itself was so nice you guys like I can't even believe how nice it was it was so fancy like pretty carpeted soft stairs and everything was so ornate and detailed and pretty. Just omg.

Anyway! Then we went and stood by the front doors for a bit and I handed out signs (if you saw me in the lacy white shirt and black shorts with short blond hair aye!). We sat in balconey D, so we went up (a LOT of stairs) and found our seats!

Seriously I can't overstate how gorgeous and amazing this theatre was so fancy with super soft seats and good room like it was so pretty and it had a ton of like Egyptian stuff on the walls omg it was so cool. Y'all. The set was GORGEOUS. Like the lights and the background and just. Wow. I felt so close even though we were the highest up, because everything was very stacked. We really weren't that far away even though we were towards the back like I could see the stage really well.

The set is so gorgeous wow. And I just jammed to all the songs on the preshow playlist it was so amazing I couldn't believe it was real.

Also Dan's Siri came on like twice and was like hi there's really nice merch downstairs and Dan left me to look at memes and stuff, and told us not to film bc iPads are bad lmao. (I filmed anyway don't arrest me).

Everyone FLIPPED SHIT when Welcome To The Black Parade came on oh my god it was so loud and amazing. The lights dimmed and off we went.

They opened with the really adorable video being projected omg my heart and then they rode in dramatically with their steam and everyone LOST THEIR SHIT it was amazing the crowd was so loud all night.

Phil read the Richmond Wikipedia page apparently (wow, nerd) lmao and talked about the rat basketball team. They literally mentioned the rat basketball team like at least six times throughout the show tonight y'all I'm.

Dan said shooketh at something at the beginning and I don't remember what it was but like djfndjsdbrb. Also he did the Naruto run the first time he ran off stage, and we all sCREAMED.

They did a smol duet of A Whole New World which I now know was inspired by the venue - it was so great though and Dan was like that's not what you want trust me it would start off good but it would quickly become horrible. It sounded really good though like I love them they should sing more.

I hadn't seen any spoilers about the beginning! They talked about what an introvert is and asked the introverts and extroverts in the room to cheer sjfbwjsj.

Dan had a six second challenge to pretend to be a llama sitnfndntkejr he pranced and did a noise we all DIED and then he was like "-NO!" it was hilarious sjfndjsnebd.

The segment about what they weren't gonna do had me shook I nearly died. "Please be gentle with the handcuffs; I have sensitive skin" IM DEAD.

Also when they went to walk up and pretend to strip and then they RIPPED OFF THEIR SHIRTS TO REVEAL IDENTICAL SHIRTS UNDERNEATH YOURE FUCKING KIDDING ME WHAT THE FUCK.

We were all really sad about the puppies so Phil said we'd get to see more puppies later in the show and we all screamed and Dan said if you're gonna promise puppies you better follow through.

When they offered to let people touch their hair I was like sjgbdjdbdjabfsn. Pastel personas skgbsjfkekfje??? They put on flower crowns and brought stuffed animals up to the front of the stage wow my heart.

They were like we're not gonna bring up a whole bunch of other YouTubers - because we have no friends and no one replied to our messages.

I can't remember for shit, but the whole beginning segment was just amazing. When they finished talking about how the show was interactive they were like "so that's why now we're going to make one of you stand up at random!!!!!!!" And they shined all the lights up and for a second it was chaos and then they were like kidding kidding we're just kidding and Phil was like your faces were priceless and Dan was like okay you can tell who the introverts and extroverts are the introverts are like crawling into a ball in their seats like "DONT PICK ME" I've never seen 3000 people curl up into a ball before. It was terrifying but also amazing!

Truth bombs! Honestly, I thought they were gonna do all the ones from the website, but they only did one each.

Phil's torture confession would be being bathed in cheese (Dan talked about if that included scrubbing, or if it included scrubbing under flaps y'all I was so done oh my god), but other options were mouth noises in headphones in his ears (to which Dan then did HORRIBLE and horribly loud mouth noises into his mic oh my god it was the worst thing my ears have ever heard ajtbcjejgsj *vomits* he said "not the asmr you came to hear, sorry") and ??? (Help I forgot)

Dan dreams about Nick Jonas in a fursuit at night ("the two things I lease wanted to hear right now, combined), but other options were a dark abyss ("no that's what I see when I look in the mirror") and a one direction reunion.

They would die from "Bees?" But other options were Dan falling out of the gaming chair and taking Phil down with him, and burning down the flat after setting a fire during a baking video gone horribly wrong (both of the runner ups they said were extremely realistic and plausible and they were like are you guys surprised we aren't dead yet we were all like yah). Dan was like where are the bees going to come from???? THAT FLAP keep you eyes on it.

We're real people with free will so you can't just make us do whatever you want, BUT we have made a simulation with a tiny Dan and Phil where you choose what they would do in completely normal, everyday situations that we experience in real life. Remember, tiny Dan and Phil still have emotions and can feel shame and guilt, so this is our test to see if you are responsible enough to be in control during this show - please do what you would actually want us to do if you were controlling us in real life.

Simulation! They have been working on this since they were FETUSES. Not babies, fetuses they were up in their mom's bellies with laptops editing this, and they spent billions of pounds and thousands of Richmond dollars (idk why they said Richmond dollars so many times during the show but sjtbsjdjd it was cute) on it.

Phil first he went to Barstucks (the simulations didn't want to get sued) and got a unicorn death frappe, with lots of sugar so he was vibrating, and he accidentally tweeted a picture of him in his underwear. Shirtless Satan appears and we all cheered for Satan they were concerned and Phil sold his soul to Satan to take the pic down bc he dropped his phone in his drink lmao. SATAN TAKES HIM TO HELL AND THERES DEMON DAN AND HE HAS A POTATO AND HE POTATO PRESSES PHIL TO DEATH FOR ETERNITY. then Phil was like "I still remember the feeling of a wet potato being pressed to my back" I was like sjbsjsjdsj ew.

Dan talked to the furry in the park and went to a furry rave (didn't show him the good Shiba Inu memes he had) and did body shots off of an otter and entered the ladydoor and slipped on the floor and died in his slothbear fursuit. Lmao rip (I'd already heard that ending though). Dan said the show was officially demonitized, and also said "there was an attempt" after people cheered for the good option lmao.

At the end they were like what a waste of all our billions of dollars and all the time spent editing as fetuses.

At the end of the simulation Phil talked about it being like a mob mentality and Dan compared it to fandoms and how if you like something and everyone else seems to have the same reason for liking it or whatever, the people who it especially means some thing to, their voices can get lost. And that's what this show is all about giving the people what they want and getting all the voices and stuff. Fandoms are often seen as one collective unit but you can't expect them all to want the same thing because they're all made up of very different individuals. Etc. It was good.

Our collective name was Kevin. We did a coordinated clap ("the asmr you do want to hear") it was the coolest fucking thing ever ajrnejfnej to build the hive mind. Then we chose a breed of dog for them to get "they just want us to get a dog Phil that's all they want" and Phil led it he was like I think I can get everyone to think the same thing, and we chose Fluffy the very terrifying Chihuahua it was so cool how they did it and that was the one I got so yay! They asked who didn't get fluffy and then they were like "that's okay that just means you aren't part of Kevin... YET." And then they just kept saying how we needed to get inside Kevin and stuff it was like okay wow.

Then we had the WHATS UNDER DANS BED. First of all that box is fucking hilarious, and I think Dan mentioned Phil just wanting an excuse to use props lmao. They explained it and then Phil brought out the audience participation balls "Phil has three balls." Okay. But they really emphasized how if you didn't want it you could just throw it to someone who did like they were so nice and understanding about it and when the music stopped Phil asked and made sure everyone who had one wanted it :). Also they were like keep the answers like amazingphil channel okay keep it PG. But it was actually a really cool concept and the lights went rainbow when they were throwing them around, which I LOVED! The three answers were an anthill but the ants are tiny dogs, a fursuit made of maltesers, and "I think he's trolling us and it's empty"/nothing. Y'all Phil was like has anyone seen a key under their seat and Dan was like wait what are we talking about wait no no I have the key akfnfjejd. They opened it, got the silver tube, opened that and got the scroll, and then they were like this has been in the tube in the locked box on the stage the whole time how could it possibly say what three random members of the audience said, and then they SLOWLY UNROLLED IT AND IT SAID TINY DOG ANTHILL, FURSUIT, AND NOTHING YALL I WAS SHOOK OUT OF MY MIND LIKE THE ONLY THING THAT COULD HAVE MADE THE SHOW WAS MAGIC AND THEY JUST DID THAT OH MY GOD. I'm still shook about it.

Then Phil took the banner and tore it up into like three or four big pieces and was like okay guys tear it up and pass it around tear and share I was so shook I was like oh my god I want a piece of that banner but obviously I was balconey, so they were ripping off pieces and passing it around and Dan and Phil were like omg it's like the walking dead down there "oh my gosh... That is.. violent." I was so shook that they did that like that was so nice and good like snejdbdabfbo.

Survey! Dan dabbed when he said statistics and Phil was like don't dab to statistics and Dan dabbed again and was like math *dab* there was so much unnecessary dabbing it was wow. Phil likes to use props and costumes so the brought out the glasses and clipboards YALL THEM IN GLASSES IN REAL LIFE 😭. Phil read the options for the audience participation one really dramatically and Dan was like "Phil wrote all the answers to these questions obviously" to which Phil replied "I wanted to make them spicy." 68% like audience participation, sixty some feel like they really know Dan and Phil (8% said who are Dan and Phil and Dan was like where do you think you are Shrek the musical? It was so good. I think Phil said maybe that's the parents. Incredible.) (Unnecessary third option bc Phil wanted to see what would happen - it used the middle screen) 40% like the sims the best, but pinof had 36%. Ditl had 16%, and baking and crafts both had four. They ROASTED the four percent who love crafts lmao it was great. (They spent the whole tour budget on the pie chart for the video series lmao it was FANCY) Sixty percent of people whlant Dan and Phil to give the people what Dan and Phil want, so I was really proud of us and Dan seemed surprised and happy about it he said Augusta was like ninty percent what the people want lmao.

ONE FINAL QUESTION WE ASKED YOU DAN OR PHIL BUT THATS TOO EASY NO WE ASKED YOU WHO WOULD YOU SACRIFICE BUT DAN NO ONES REALLY GOING TO BE SACRIFICED RIGHT THIS IS JUST A QUESTION ON A SURVEY IN A STAGE SHOW "I CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT ABOUT DAN AND PHIL THERE ARE NO CONSEQUENCES... RIGHT?"

SUPER DRAMATIC SACRIFICE DAN OR PHIL "YOU MIGHT SAY I CANT CHOOSE TOO BAD THE WORLD IS FULL OF HARD DECISIONS ONE OF US WILL BE STRAPPED TO THIS WHEEL" PHIL SAID "ONE OF US IS GOING TO BE PUT IN MORTAL DANGER RIGHT NOW" AND THEN THEY BOTH JUMPED ONTO THE PLATFORM WITH THE WHEEL AND RODE IT BACKWARDS AND THEN INTERMISSION HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEYRE SO DRAMATIC AND EXTRA OH MY GOD IT WAS INCREDIBLE.

I'm forgetting so much but I'm gonna do this in two parts. Intermission seemed to come so quickly! It was at almost eight forty. Intermission was cool I stood up and stretched my legs bc as soon as I sat down my left leg fell asleep and it's still fucked up the. Some more jams though, and the last song they play was The Final Countdown lmao.

Quick note they are both so beautiful ??? Like?? I couldn't stop staring at their fucking legs oh my god and Dan's knees with his ripped jeans help. Also, I was mesmerised by the way Phil walks? And the way he runs and skips and does little jumps and shit? Like it's actually really graceful his legs are So Long and I'm just obsessed with watching him walk around omg. In summary - Legs ™

Edit: I totally forgot about the airhorn during Truth Bombs ajgbfjrnfsiej it was WILD Phil kept playing with it and pressing buttons to make noises before we even started doing Dan's, and Dan was like omg stop but we were all cheering because obviously it was amazing and Dan was like don't cheer when he does that you're encouraging him and we just cheered louder. (Phil also stroked the airhorn remote - the number of times some variation of the word stroke was said tonight..... So much)

At some point during the beginning they talked about why everyone loves the sims bc you can make people and make them do whatever you want and Phil was like like put a hundred sims in a swimming pool and remove the ladders and watch them drown slowly and I used to do that a lot as a kid does that say something and Dan was like that would explain a lot actually (I swear to God he said that phrase about Phil like three or four times throughout the show like wow). And Phil was like you could also make them woohoo with a skeleton or an alien and HE THRUSTED TO EMPHASIZE HIS POINT I WAS LIKE JESUS FUCK STOP PLEASE.

#richmond ii #interactive introverts #dan and phil #dnp #ii #ii spoilers #interactive introverts spoilers #dan howell #amazingphil #july 12th 2018 #altria theater #future #probably edit this

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