Saw this on Twitter, from a 1983 issue of Gong magazine. I'm trying to use Google Translate (and a little common sense) to figure out who everybody is.
Hulk Hogan (roller skating in California)
Bruiser Brody (riding the space shuttle, piloted by a gorilla)
Terry Funk and Dory Funk Jr. (falling off a horse)
Fritz, Kevin, Kerry, and David Von Erich (standing together in Texas)
Ric Flair (literally jet-flying, wearing the NWA world title)
Harley Race (in Missouri, punching out the Funks' horse)
Ted DiBiase and the Junkyard Dog (dressed like jazz guys, to represent New Orleans and Mid-South)
Verne Gagne (in Minnesota, giving the thumbs up)
Nick Bockwinkel (holding the AWA world title)
Dick the Bruiser (dressed like a Chicago gangster)
Jerry Lawler (dressed like Elvis because he's in Memphis; a curious foreshadowing of his cousin becoming Honky Tonk Man in 1986)
Stan Hansen (wearing a cowboy hat, standing in Georgia)
Ricky Steamboat (in the Carolinas, pointing at Lawler)
Andre the Giant (standing between Canada and New York)
Dusty Rhodes (representing Florida, riding the surfboard)
Bob Backlund (swinging off the Statue of Liberty, wearing the WWF world title)
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WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION MAGAZINE : AUGUST 1993
EXPOSE FOLLOW UP
Presented By The World Wrestling Federation
THE CASE OF THE CAMOUFLAGE GARAGE
A STAFF REPORT
MONEY INC. BEATS THE RAP
Transcript Below!!!!
Money Inc., The Million Dollar ManTed DiBiase and IRS, are off the hook for the allegations that they engaged in dubious financial activities outside of the ring. A special federation panel that was convened by federation president Jack Tunney failed to come up with a unanimous verdict that Money Inc. did indeed commit acts that could merit their prohibition from the squared circle.
Establishments of the panel stemmed from an investigation by this magazine. We put a team of investigative reporters onto DiBase and IRS. Our cameras caught Money Inc. during what looked like a shady financial transaction. The photos, which were published in the July issue, showed DiBiase and IRS in the act of receiving money from an unidentified man in a parking garage in Phoenix, Arizona.
||Money Inc. was recently summoned to a hearing by Federation officials and President Jack Tunney. Apparently, this magazine’s probe into Money Inc.’s financial matters made sense to the president and his colleagues. These exclusive photos show you what occurred during Money Inc.’s hearing.||
After the man drove off, we recorded DiBase and IRS making light of the victim’s bankrupt business and how they (Money Inc.) planned to use the money to increase their overall capital gain. When the issue came to the attention of Federation President Jack Tunney, he sent out a special panel of World Wrestling Federation officials.
Money Inc. was livid, “Listen, little man,” the Million Dollar Man said to one of our reporters, “you’re liars. Look at what it says here in this summons: If said parties are found conclusively and unanimously guilty of unethical financial practices, their participation in the Federation will be terminated!”
“Terminated!” DiBiase exclaimed, and IRS’ face turned beet-red. “In other words, that means we might get kicked out of the World Wrestling Federation for good. Well, tell Jack Tunney that it isn’t gonna happen. We were set up by your magazine, and we’re gonna use all our resources to beat this case!”
Just days before this issue went on newspaper stands, Money Inc. appeared before the panel in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Tunnel and his staff allowed this magazine–and only this magazine–to record the event, since it broke the story in the first place.
The panel consisted of Jack Tunney, official Rene Goulet and two Federation accountants. When IRS learned that accountants would be present, he claimed he had the flu, leaving DiBiase to appear alone. Tunney opened the proceedings with a statement. “Mr DiBiase, Mr. Schyster,” Tunney said, “we, the members of this panel, have reviewed the photographs and audiocassettes provided to us by World Wrestling Federation Magazine and have probable cause to believe that you have elicited or currently elicit, some of your financials revenue in manners that many would find unethical.
“We, the members of this panel,” Tunney went on, “believe that athletes in the World Wrestling Federation should set the standard of excellence when compared with other athletes from other sports organizations.
“Therefore, if you gentlemen are found to be conclusively and unanimously guilty of any questionable acquisition of revenue–be it currency, gifts or favors–by this panel, your tenure in the Federation will be promptly terminated. Do you gentlemen fully understand the consequences to which you may be subjected?”
DiBiase simply smirked. But as he was questioned by the panel, he boiled over, especially with Goulet. “What I do outside the Federation is none of your business.”
After questioning, the members of the investigative panel retired to render a verdict. Nearly an hour passed. Then Tunnety and his associates emerged.
Before Jack Tunney announced the verdict, DiBiase looked at the panel and laughed. “Gentlemen,” sighed the president. “Although most members of this panel believe Money Inc. did engage in undesirable practices, one did not. The verdict was not unanimous, so Money Inc. can’t be penalized or found guilty as charged.”
When Tunney finished, DiBiase turned to our reporters. “I guess you can say this is the end of the story, huh, peons? Ha-ha-ha,” laughed DiBiase. Then he winked at one of the accountants on the panel. The panelist exited via the side door. DiBiase, laughing up a storm, sauntered out the same door.
Our reporter followed. Outside, the reporter continued to follow DiBiase. In a corner of the parking lot, DiBiase conferred briefly with the accountant from the panel. As they shook hands, it appeared that an envelope passed between them. But in the dim light of the parking lot, we couldn’t be sure. Whatever really went on, Money Inc. had beaten the rap.
CASE CLOSED
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