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blowflyfag · 3 months

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WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT/FEDERATION MAGAZINE: OCTOBER 1996

MOMMY? Is the Mystery of Mankind Beginning to Unravel?

A Special Report By the Informer

IS GOLDUST MANKIND’S MOMMY?

You read that right! I’m on the verge of breaking the hottest scoop of the century… I think!!! Even though my reputation may be on the line, this is just to JUICY to pass up!!!

OK, are you ready? My eyes and ears have told me, the Informer, that not only is Mankind living in the basement of Goldust’s Hollywood estate, BUT the “bizarre one” actually has the “dementated soul” under his complete control! How you asked? Perhaps by having him convinced that he is… his long lost… MOMMY!!! NORMAN BATES, MOE OVER!!! This situation makes the relationship between you and your deceased mother look like Mrs. Cleaver and the Beav!!!

I must say that at first I, the Informer, didn’t even believe it myself. Goldust and Mankind? RuPaul and Hannibal Lector? COME ON!!! Can you imagine the conversation over a cup of expresso?

“Mankind, what do you think of my new wig?”

“Oh, I think it’s lovely. But, it would look even better… WITH THE HAIR PULLED OUT OF IT!!!”

Talk about an odd couple? They would make Feliz and Oscar look like the Olsen twins!!! But wait, let’s not be so hasty with our judgments. Let’s stop and ask ourselves this question: Beneath it all… are they “really” that different? Is it possible that there might be more similarities than they would want us to believe? Let’s look a bit more closely, shall we?

First and foremost, it is a fact that Goldust and Mankind are loners. They have no friends… nor do they want any. As a matter of fact, much of their companionship actually takes place “inside” the ring, rather than “outside”. True, Holdust does have Marlena, but first of all she is of the opposite sex… we think. And second, their relationship is of a business nature, not personal…. We think. Mankind, on the other claw, is definitely friendless. That is unless you consider George, his rat who by the way I’ve heard died recently. However, just because he’s dead doesn't necessarily mean that he’s not still Mankind’s best friend, by any stretch of the imagination! Now the psyches of Goldust and Mankind are comparable in various ways. Both are masters of the mind game… in their own “special” way, of course. Where Goldust likes to frolic within the psychologically bizarre realm of sexuality, Mankind takes a more strait-jacketed approach. He likes to come off as being just plain nuts. Both live in fantasy worlds–Goldust in the lights, camera and action of La-La Land… Mankind in his safe haven known as the boiler room. They both offer very unique and mysterious backgrounds. The truth is–we know very little about either individual, largely due to the fact that neither has told us anything! What “really” makes Goldust tick? Did something happen in his childhood that sent him to super-bizarredom? Does he have any legitimate acting experience? If not, how the heck did he get himself on the red carpet area on Oscar night? And Mankind? Now here’s a jigsaw puzzle that lacks a straight border. The music, the claw, the mask, the cellar, the… MOMMY?

MOMMY… here’s where the mystery begins. If you don’t already know by now, Goldust and Mankind wrestled as a tag team at some house shows back in the late summer, early fall. The Bizarre and the Demented. OK, nothing wrong with that. Sometimes wrestlers do team up even though they may have nothing in common. Case in point–the opponents of this troubled team were none other than the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels and everybody’s favorite dead man, the Undertaker. Now here’s the wacky part–weeks prior to the match, Goldust and Mankind were cutting a couple of interviews talking about the upcoming matches. Keep in mind these interviews only ran in the markets where the matches were taking place. In other words… only a few people saw them. Anyway, through the entire cuts, Mankind was referring to Goldust as… MOMMY. You got that? MOMMY! But wait, it gets even sicker! The three of us–me and my own two eyes–witnessed Mankind actually BURYING HIS HEAD IN GOLDUST’s BOSOM in search of some peace, love, and understanding!!!

Now you tell me, kitty-cats, what the H-E… double toothpicks is going on here?!!! Has Goldust outpsyched the psycho into believing that he’s his… MOMMY?! OR is this just another chapter in their well-scripted psychology handbook? What do you think? Do you think I know? WELL, I MIGHT!!!

The following day after this goose-bumping incident, my top informer informed me, the Informer, that SON has moved into MOTHER’S mansion!!! That’s right! They share the same CELLAR!!! Now this shocking detail has in no way, shape or form been confirmed yet. HOWEVER, I was told just last night by the GREAT (his opinion, not the Informer’s) VIC VENOM, the next month… in this very magazine,,, he plans on bringing you inside the mansion of Goldust in his exclusive “Lifestyles of the Rich and Filthy Rich”! So now the question is will Venom be the reporter he says he is and take us in the cellar of the Goldust estate so that we can find out the truth for ourselves? OR will snake breath slither out of the entire situation by keeping the basement door LOCKED?!

Tune in next month!!! Until next time…this has been the Informer.

THIS JUST IN!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!!! AS OF PRESS TIME, I HAVE JUST LEARNED THAT GOLDUST MAY HAVE COME CLEAN WITH MANKIND! A SOURCE INFORMED ME, THE INFORMER, THAT GOLDUST MAY HAVE RECENTLY EXPLAINED TO MANKIND THAT HE INDEED IS NOT HIS MOMMY, BUT… SABLE IS!!!

THIS STORY JUST GETS WEIRDER BY THE MINUTE!!!

STAY TUNED!!!

#goldust #mankind #gay people #wwf #world wrestling federation #magazine scan #magazine transcript #wwf magazine #also this is totally vince russo #i know his shitty fucking writing anywhere #his random caps #his multiple !!!!! i know its you mother fucker you cant hide from me #they should have had a gay person write this btw goldust is no Rupaul hes a Divine cmon be real #honestly mankind is so real for all this shit tbh id be calling goldust mommy too

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blowflyfag · 3 months

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WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT/FEDERATION MAGAZINE: OCTOBER 1996

THE KID BENEATH HIS WINGS

The Story of Shawn Michaels and Jose Lothario

By Bill Banks

As “Super Sock” Jose Lothario looked up from his office desk on a hot summer day back in 1982, he saw two figures standing in his doorway. One of the men, obviously the elder, held his son by his side.

“My son Shawn wants to be a wrestler,” the man said. “You are the best we know of…a legend, and we would like you to train him.”

Jose took one look at the kid standing before him.. Couldn’t have been more than 17 years old. A scrawny, short-haired ball of energy with a big smile on his face. He didn’t know quite what to say, a silence echoed throughout the room for the next minute.

Pondering this, Lothario thought back a few years to the only other man he had ever trained–the late Gino Hernandez, a man who ultimately turned on Lothario and went down the wrong oath in life. Could he take another youngster under his wing, only to risk seeing yet another turn on him?

“Mr. Lothario,” the young kid said, breaking the silence, as he stepped forward to the legend’s desk. “My name is Shawn Michaels and I would like you to teach me how to be a wrestler, sir.”

After giving it some thought, Jose took the boy under his wing and trained him…working him countless hours in the gym, almost like a drill sergeant. You see, he wasn’t about to go easy on this new kid just because he was doing a favor for his father–Michaels was about to go through the ringer with “Super Sock”. Was this wide-eyed hopeful good enough or was he just a weekend warrior playing out a fantasy? That question was soon to be answered. After two months, Super Sock saw something in Shawn Michaels that he hadn’t seen in Hernandez–there was a spark in the kid’s eye.

“After that second month, I knew Shawn was going to go all the way,” Lothario recalled. “He gave it his all in that gym, no matter if it was against me or another opponent. I thought to myself, “This kid is gonna make it’! He had the desire in his heart to be someone.”

Looking back on those first few months, Shawn Michaels remembers them vividly, as if they happened yesterday. You see, it wasn’t as if the Heartbreak Kid had simply just found someone who knew wrestling…Shawn Michaels was given the opportunity to train under the man who he watched wrestle every Saturday morning on his television in the Lone Star State.

“I think every young boy who lived in Texas knew who Jose Lothario was,” Michaels said, “I first saw him on TV when I was 12, he was the first superstar to come across my screen. He is a legend in San Antonio, Cuba, Mexico…just about everywhere! The first day I met him in that office, I guess he saw something special in me.”

Lothario continued to mold the youngster into a fine wrestler. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months and so on. In and out of the ring, Jose was there to guide Shawn in his first few matches after he turned professional. Before each event, the mentor would sit down with Shawn in the locker room, doors closed. There he would go over with his young protege what to go look for from his opponents…the strengths and weaknesses of each obstacle he was about to face. After the match, whether win or loss, the same process would take place–-Shawn sitting on a chair, listening to the man who trained him. But the one thing that Jose drilled into Shawn’s head was that he shouldn’t underestimate any man because as Lothario put it, “There is always someone out there who can beat you.” Michaels discovered from Jose that in EVERY match he was learning something new from his opponents.

Finally, the day came when Jose Lothario decided it was time to set this young kid out on his own. Jose remembered his days as a wrestler, and how he had never gotten a chance to make it “up north” as he would call it…the World Wrestling Federation. Shawn and Marty Jannetty were “getting their feet wet” in the AWA (American Wrestling Associate) at the time and opportunity started to knock for the tag team. Lothario very much wanted this for his pupil, so he gave Shawn a pat on the back, a hug and sent him to New York to try out for the “Big Time”. In every sense of the phrase, Jose Lothario loved Shawn like a son and if you love something you set it free.

As the months passed, Jose–now retired and living in San Antonio–would sometimes go into his living room and watch Shawn on television Saturday mornings. Marty Jannetty and Shawn Michaels were lighting up the ring in the World Wrestling Federation while Jose looked on from his home. Even though he was traveling Michaels never forgot the man who treated him like a son all those years.

“He would call me sometimes after a match,” Jose said. “I would tell him about the things I saw that he wasn’t doing right, and I would tell him how to correct it. We kept in touch from time to time. I never forgot about him.”

Over the next several years, Jose watched Shawn grow from a challenger into a champion. He was watching when Shawn beat the British Bulldog for his first Intercontinental Title Championship on Saturday Night’s Main Event in 1992. He was also tuned in for the other Intercontinental Title reigns and on the occasion he won the Federation tag team gold. Throughout every championship match–win or loss– Super Sock was watching, jumping up and down on the couch with excitement or crying in pain for the Heartbreak Kid.

Then one day in January 1996, Jose’s phone rang. As Jose picked it up and said “Hello”, a few short words came from the other end of the receiver. It was none other than Shawn Michaels.

“I listened on the phone and all I heard him say was, ‘Jose, they’re going to give me a shot at the Federation Championship at WrestleMania XII. Can you train me?’ I thought for a few seconds and then told him, ‘Of course I will, you know I’m here for you.’”

Federation officials had finally given Shawn Michaels the shot he had long been waiting for. After winning the 1996 Royal Rumble, Shawn was announced as the No.I contender for the Federation Title…the belt that was around Bret Hart’s waist at the time. Then interim president Roddy Piper declared that this match between the two at the annual extravaganza would be an Iron Man Match—60 minutes of pure action…and there HAD to be a winner.

“I went back to San Antonio and trained with Jose for two months,” Shawn said. “I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to go the full 60 minutes…that Bret would ultimately get to me. Jose looked me right in the eyes and said, “You’re going to beat him and I’ll train you to last for two hours if I have to!’”

March 31, 1996, is a day Shawn Michaels will NEVER forget. Shawn put on his ring attire and was getting ready to go to the ring, but butterflies soon started in his stomach and for good reason! Sixteen thousand screaming fans and millions of Pay-Per-View buyers were tuned in to see the main event between Michaels and Hart–for the Federation Title. This was the dream that Shawn had lived since the age of 12 and tonight was the night that he would either realize it or fail. Jose took Shawn, grabbed his shaking hands and said to him, “You have to do this for your fans…and I’m confident you will.”

After those words of encouragement, Shawn Michaels went out and outlasted Bret Hart for over 60 minutes to become the new Federation Champion. The dream had been realized…and it was something very special to have Jose there to experience it for the new champion.

“He always believed I would win the title that night,” Shawn said, “Winning that title was just a little something I did to repay him for all that he did for me. I could never fully pay him back for everything…for the trust he put in me and for the trust my family put in him. He opened all the doors for the HBK.”

Immediately following his win at WrestleMania XII, Shawn was forced to deal with the challenge of Camp Cornette. The British Bulldog, the man Shawn had first defeated for the Intercontinental Title, was back in the title picture. Only this time, Shawn was wearing the gold that the Bulldog was after. Through all the attacks and all the intense situations Jose remained by Shawn’s side.

After finally defeating the Bulldog at June’s King of the Ring, Jose and Shawn continued to be enraged by the actions of Camp Cornette, most prominently by Cornette himself and the man they call Vader. At the July In Your House on the Free-For-All, Cornette and Lothario had a face-to-face confrontation after Cornette berated the Federation Champion–something to which Super Sock took MUCH exception!

Later on in the night Shawn was pinned in a six-man tag team match by Vader himself…something Lothario was unable to do anything about. While getting ready to play Sweet Chin Music on Vader, Cornette grabbed Shawn’s foot–giving the Mastodon just enough time to recuperate and strike. Lothario got there seconds too late and Shawn was easy prey for the pin.

Now the table is set for two of the most highly anticipated matches to take place at September’s In Your House. It will be the mentor and the student in two separate matches–while the champion tackles the deranged fiend Mankind, Lothario will attempt to settle the score with Jim Cornette! Even though Jose may be in his late sixties, true to his word, he is going to teach Cornette a lesson in respect.

“I think I still have one or two ‘Super Socks’ still left in me,” Jose said. “I told Jim Cornette that if he kept messing with me and Shawn, I was gonna make him pay! I’m not nervous, because I know I can whip that dirty rat! And as far as Mankind, with everything I have taught Shawn, he’s gonna put that nutcase down for the count!”

“To let him ride with me on my career is something that I will always hold very special to my heart,” Michaels said. “Cornette is going to find out that he messed with the wrong man at In Your House! And Mankind? Jackson, the only melody you’re going to be hearing is the sound of that Sweet Chin Music!”

The road that lies ahead for Shawn and Jose will continue beyond In Your House–no matter what the outcome of their respective matches against Mankind and Cornette. Two men–one a champion, one a mentor–have matured over 15 years to get to this point in their lives. On any given night, after any match, no matter how much applause Shawn gets or how many autographs he signs, he still finds the time to sit behind closed doors with Jose–listening intently to his teacher as if he was a 17-year-old kid again.

As the saying goes: “The more things change, the more they stay the same.”

#wwf #world wrestling federation #shawn michaels #hbk #magazine scan #magazine transcript #wwf magazine

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