Finished up the ref for Amaranthine!Ambroys as well! My dear awful pony, lover of intricate embroidery, destroyer of my wrist.

It was fun coming up with the brief summation of his personality on this. Like opening a thesaurus to the section titled “Words to Describe the Worst Man You’ve Ever Met.”

The Marriage Project (10)

Hellooooo! For 300 followers, I decided to drop chapter 10! Please enjoy!

Masterlist

Word Count: 2202

Warnings: maybe some language? 

% approximately the last weekend of october %

By the time everyone and their families had gotten to the city and eaten dinner, it was around 8:30 pm, so you and Tom decided to try and knock out your project work.

You sat in the breakfast lounge next to each other at a table as other team members and families conversed. You noticed Nikki and your parents talking and gave Tom a glance.

Since this was your last ever volleyball tournament (at least for high school), your parents had come and you were getting to stay in their hotel room instead of a team room.

You mostly worked silently when you and Tom overheard some people talking about homecoming.

“Who’re you taking to homecoming?” he asked casually. “And don’t say Paddy or Harry.”

You laughed at that one.

“Uhh, no one. I don’t really have anyone to take so guess I’m flying solo with the girls again. Why? Who were you gonna go with?”

“Eh, nobody. The guys brought it up earlier to me and I was just curious.”

“Oh, really? I thought you had girls lined up at your feet. And a couple guys, too.”

“I’m pretty sure I could say the same about you. And you mean freshmen? Yeah right. I’m not about to catch a case, not that I’m remotely attracted to any of them.”

That comment made you laugh again.

“Yeah, well, those same freshmen are the ones spreading rumors about us. It’s stupid. We oughta stick it to them somehow.”

“What are you getting at..?” he trailed, suspicion in his voice.

“I don’t know… What if we just went to the dance together? I mean, we’re already on homecoming court and are most likely gonna win, so what if we just showed up together to annoy them? It’s not like we have to make it some big deal or anything.”

He looked at you for a minute, like he was doing calculations.

“So… you and me, no matter whether we win or not, go together? You don’t think that’s just gonna make things worse?”

“I’m pretty sure anything we do will keep causing rumors so long as we’re doing this project. We don’t have to, I just thought it would be funny to see everyone’s reactions.”

“You know what, let’s do it. There’s nothing for us to lose. Let’s just not tell people we’re going together and then just show up there. If anyone asks just say we’re going solo?” He suggested.

“That’s not going to work completely… what if you came to dinner with me and my friends beforehand? We can surprise them all and then the rest of the school at the dance. It would be really sus if I bailed on dinner and I’d like for your mom to take some pre-dance pictures.”

You decided to shake on it and get back to work, but your stomach was doing the same fluttering it had been the past couple weeks. By the time you two finished, it was just past 10 pm and most of the parents and even some of the team had gone to their rooms. 

The only people you knew nearby were Sam and Julia, who were sitting on a chair together watching something on her phone, and of course Tom, who was watching snap videos from friends at the Halloween party that had just started.

“I think I’m gonna head upstairs. Even though top seed doesn’t play the first round, I have to be up kinda early,” you explained as you stood, gripping your laptop across your chest.

“What’s your room number, I’ll walk you up. Some of the people here have been giving me weird vibes.”

“Umm, let me check,” you pulled out your phone with the text your mom had sent earlier. “415.”

“Oh that’s perfect. We’re in 416. Just across the hall.”

You said goodnight to Sam and Julia as you passed and went to the elevator. As you waited, a young couple, probably in their mid twenties came up, obviously drunk. They were dressed up for the holiday, and you were surprised that they were seeming to cut the night short. 

“Oh my God babe, look, they’re like younger us!” the girl attempted to whisper, giggling. Your face burned as you glanced at Tom, who looked as uncomfortable as you.

“That’s so dope! How long have you been with this little lady?” the guy said directed to Tom, giving you a once over, as all four of you entered and pressed the buttons to your floor.

“Oh we’re no-” you began when Tom interjected.

“‘Bout a year, man,” he smiled, tossing his arm over your shoulder and pulling you in tight. The elevator doors closed.

You simultaneously wanted to push him away and fall into his tight, warm grip. You decided to play along as you continued to hold on to your computer. 

“Best year ever!” you exclaimed, leaning up to give him a peck on the cheek.

“Oh come on! You can do better than that! Kiss him! Kiss him!” the girl egged on. You both chuckled nervously and gave each other a look. There seemed to be a silent consensus to just do it for the bit.

Tom moved his arm to your waist and lightly pressed his lips against yours, smiling as he pulled away. You were left a little stunned as the inebriated couple clapped and cheered.

You could tell they were going to say more when the doors opened on the fourth floor.

“Well here’s our stop. Nice talking to you. Come on, princess,” Tom said, the both of you rushing out of the elevator, his arm still around you. 

Once the door closed, you both let out a sigh as you turned down the hall towards your rooms.

“Well that was...  weird,” you stated, the both of you walking pretty slowly. You were keenly aware of the way his hand tightly cupped your side as you clumsily knocked into him a few times.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself. Sorry about that. I didn’t know what they were gonna do and that guy had creepo vibes and I panicked.”

“I get it. We are married, after all,” you said quietly, wiggling your left hand. “Well, here’s my room. Thanks for keeping an eye out. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, see you at breakfast. You’re gonna kill it tomorrow,” he said softly, squeezing you in a side hug one last time before letting you go. Your side tingled from where his warm body was no longer touching as you entered the hotel room.

It wasn’t long before you were also saying goodnight to your parents and laying in the dark room, reflecting on the wild day that was Friday. 

You knew that back home everyone was still partying, as you’d received pictures and videos of your friends dressed as Guy Fieri, but you’d had a whole different kind of experience, unsure if it was a good or bad one.

Tom’s lips were kinda soft though

And his big hands around my waist fit nicely

You pushed the thoughts away as you finally fell into deep slumber.

%

You headed to breakfast wearing sweats, a baggy tee, and a pair of socks and slides. Looks were not a priority right now. While you waited on your waffle to finish cooking, someone appeared next to you, yawning.

“Morning, princess,” he muttered, stretching and rubbing his eyes.

“You really aren’t a morning person, are you?”

“Nope. Now how much longer are you gonna be here because I’m in need of a waffle,” he asked, nudging your sides. It seemed as though you were both pretending the previous night had never happened.

Once you both built your plates, you went to sit with some of the team when Tom plopped into the seat next to you. He immediately began digging in, but paused when he realized the whole table was starting at him.

“What’s wrong, you want me to bless the food or something?” he looked to you.

“No it’s just surprising that you’d come sit with us is all,” one sophomore said. “I mean, you’re like the most popular guy in school.”

“Yeah well the real legend is this bit-” your glare stopped him in his tracks, “...I won’t call you that word, but anyways y/n ranks above me. If anything, she’s the intimidating one.”

The girls giggled and went back to their conversations, occasionally looking at Tom still. 

“Sorry I almost called you a bitch. I meant it the good way,” he whispered into your ear.

You stared at him for a few seconds as you finished chewing a bite of apple.

“I’m just confused as to why you came over here with all the girls.”

“Well it might come as a shock to say that you’re the only person here that I’m friends with other than Sam, and he’s on thin ice after hogging the bed sheets last night,” he explained, shooting a glare to his younger brother, who was obliviously eating with Julia and his mom.

“Today’s gonna get real boring then if I’m your only friend.”

“Hey, remember our conversation Monday? Cute uniforms?” 

You slapped him on the chest for that one.

%

A long, hard day of games had led up to this moment. A whole season. A big portion of your life.

It was probably between 7 and 8 pm. You weren’t sure. All you knew was that the scoreboard said 24-23 your team. Meaning, one point for you equaled a final win.

You wiped the sweat from your brow as you stood on the back line of the court, nervous and determined.

There were cheers from all sides of the gym as you prepared to serve one last time, hopefully for the better.

The upper ref blew her whistle and motioned her hand for you to serve.

One

Two

Three

bounces on the gym floor. A toss in the air. A slap to the ball.

The ball passed the net and sunk right to the gym floor without a single person touching it.

It took you a second after the whistle blew and the scoreboard changed to realize that you had won the game. You were snapped back to reality by the loud cheers of your teammates and supporters.

The team came and congratulated you, slapping your butt and squeezing your shoulders. They pushed you to the front of the line to shake hands with the other team and refs under the net.

You didn’t realize until the team went into a huddle that there were tears slipping down your cheeks and everyone reached out to love on you and Anna. All those years working for this moment and it had finally ended. 

Coach made her speech short and sweet, because you could tell she was holding back tears as she looked between you and your co captain.

The two of you led one last cheer for your team. A tournament official came to hand the team the trophy, give you another tournament MVP medal and both you and Anna all tournament and all state awards. You hung them on your neck proudly, happy to feel their weight.

Upon turning around, the first person you saw was Tom, who had a big smile on your face. You immediately rushed to hug him, jumping a little into his arms.

“Told you you could do it!” he exclaimed, wrapping his arms over your sweaty frame. You pulled away, arms still loosely holding each other.  He casually brushed the residual tears from your cheeks.

“And what’s this? Some new ice?” he asked, grabbing all three medals in one hand. He raised one up pretending to bite it.

“My drip is just too clean,” you joked, flipping your ponytail over your shoulder. You heard someone clear their throat behind you. It was your dad.

You went and hugged your parents and talked for a few minutes, then were called over for Nikki to take team pictures. 

Everyone showed off their fiery hair ribbons (you had stayed true to your joking promise) and got pictures with the trophy. You and Anna also took some biting your medals and alone with the large award.

You finally headed to the locker room, changing and packing up your volleyball bag one last time. 

The end of an era was a sad one to say the least.

You said goodbye to everyone as your parents got the car ready. Tom came up.

“Hey. Good job once again. I’m proud of you. See you Monday?”

You felt yourself blush as your stomach flip flopped.

“Thank you, Tom. I’m glad you were here this weekend, especially last night. See you then.”

You gave one last side hug before getting in the car and preparing for the long ride home. You were sitting still for a while reflecting on the day when your phone lit up.

“How’s the ride so far?” Tom asked over text.

“It’s been 20 minutes, Tom.”

“Well if I’m going to be stuck third wheeling Julia and Sam I’m gonna need someone to talk to.”

You rolled your eyes and smiled, continuing the conversation all the way home until you were falling asleep in bed.

%

A/N: ahhh thank you all again for 300 followers! I genuinely can’t believe that there are that many people who are so interested in my writing! Especially those of you who have been around since the beginning, when my writing was especially bad haha. Love you all!

Send a message or ask if you’d like to be added to my permanent or series taglists so I can verify you’ve been added!

Story tag list: @jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @l0lmk, @primadonnasdream, @bookworm06, @thenoddingbunny-blog, @agentnataliahofferson, @spider-babe, @stxfxniexreads, @justafangirlduh, @supraveng,

I know this isn’t a prompt but can you please do Remus or Caps point of view after grayback took Leo down and Remus beat him up. I need to see some protective Loops. Thank you for writing all these!

It’s like one in the morning where I am but I couldn’t help myself and it’s almost 2k words. Cap’s POV will be out later today! I’m so glad you enjoyed this! Credit for Coops/ Sweater Weather goes to @lumosinlove

TW for a panic attack, fistfighting, and ~spicy smut~ at the very end. It’s nothing graphic, but it’s there!

Remus had fucking had it. Cornering him, pulling apart his shoulder, and blackmailing him for four years was one thing. Targeting Leo Knut and wrapping him around his own goal posts for the crime of being better was another.

He saw the hit coming two seconds too late—by the time the collision happened and the stadium erupted, his eyes were set on Greyback and his vision went redder than blood.

He grabbed Greyback—no, Fenrir, he didn’t get the dignity of the name on his jersey—and hauled him off Leo, his right arm already in motion. His ungloved fist collided with the side of Fenrir’s face and he hit the ice hard. Remus went down with him.

One.

Leo in the PT room, shyly showing his rainbow bracelet.

Two.

The feeling of the mats digging into his cheek as pain exploded in his shoulder, too afraid to do anything but silently cry while Fenrir hissed in his ear.

Three.

Leo’s laugh over dinner with the cubs when Logan and Finn each pressed a kiss to his cheek at the same time.

Four.

You don’t get to have that.

Five.

You don’t get to have me.

Six—strong arms wrapping around his chest from behind, a voice shouting in his ear. “Don’t fucking touch my goalie,” Remus snarled deep in his throat, keeping his fingers locked in Fenrir’s jersey.

“Let go, Remus! You have to let him go!”

“If you even breathe on any of them again I swear to God—”

“Remus! Sweetheart, that’s enough!”

Sirius. Remus’ knees came off the ice and he released his hold instinctively as Sirius lifted him off Fenrir and practically dragged him to the boards. He was vaguely aware of spitting more low threats as Fenrir scrambled to his feet and stumbled to his own side, where the refs were waiting.

“—to breathe, Remus, take a deep breath.” Sirius’ voice shook slightly as Remus fought against his grip.

“Get off me, I’m not done with him yet.” He hardly recognized his own tone. He never spoke to Sirius like that.

“Yes, you are. Leo’s going to be fine and Greyback’s going to get kicked out. You need to stop before you do, too.” Sirius was unflinching, speaking in a low murmur that rumbled against Remus’ back through his pads. He sagged, feeling the fight leave him in a slow rush while adrenaline lit him up from the inside.

"Leo—Leo, he was around the goal post—”

“They took him off on a stretcher. The game’s over, we won, he’s going to be okay. He was talking to the medics last I saw.”

Remus felt his knees wobble in relief. Talking was good. Talking meant Leo could breathe and understand what was happening. No brain damage. Likely no breaks. Probable bruising around his ribs and the soft tissue if Remus remembered his textbooks right. “Finn and Logan?”

“Waiting for news.”

“Lupin!” Coach Weasley walked over—when had they entered the bench?—and Remus could hear the fury in his voice. “What the hell were you doing out there?”

“Sorry, Coach,” Remus panted. Sirius released him slowly but kept an arm around his waist and one hand on his chest as he forced himself to make eye contact with the coach. “Wasn’t thinking.”

The rage reddening his freckled cheeks faded into concern and he frowned. Remus wondered what could possibly make the great Arthur Weasley look at him like that. He didn’t remember Fenrir getting any hits in. “Alright, Lupin, why don’t you head back into the locker room for a bit. Black, make sure he’s okay.”

Sirius led him past the team and into the tunnel in a blur of motion, ignoring any and all questions. “I’m okay,” Remus said, weakly pushing at his hands. “Sirius, I’m—”

His legs gave out and he crumpled against the tunnel wall with a choked noise. The adrenaline vanished so fast his head spun and he squeezed his eyes shut; his hands shook too hard to properly grab anything, so he braced them on the wall and prayed he would pass out soon.

“Bad,” was all he managed to say. “Bad, this feels bad, oh my god I hit him.”

“You did.”

“Sirius, I hit him. I’m not scared of him, I’m just so angry.”

“I think you’re a lot of things right now, honey, so just open your eyes.” It took a couple tries, but he finally blinked and Sirius came into focus, kneeling in front of him and holding on to his upper arms. “You’re in the tunnel and it’s just us here.”

“Fuck, there is so much happening right now. I can’t stop shaking.” Remus was coming apart at the seams. He was terrified for Leo and the fact the he couldn’t remember getting to the tunnel. He was burning with rage at Fenrir. He was panicking over the fight and somehow so breathlessly relieved. Fenrir Greyback couldn’t touch him anymore and now he knew the consequences of coming after Remus’ team.

Sirius began slowly rubbing up and down his arms and his skin tingled as feeling returned to his hands. His knuckles stung. “Take your time, you’re okay now.”

“Why do I feel like this?” he gasped, frantically grabbing at Sirius’ elbows for support. Every breath raked his throat.

“That’s a lot of trauma to work through in a very short period of time.”

“It is, it really is,” Remus laughed, leaning his head back against the cold concrete wall. His laughter quickly transformed into huge, hiccupping sobs that tumbled over each other as Sirius gathered him into his arms and made soft noises of comfort. “I hate him and I feel so much better.”

The world faded for a while after that. Remus didn’t know how long they stayed locked together; once, he thought he heard someone else talking, but Sirius’ embrace never faltered for an instant as he let every bottled emotion flood out. They went straight to the car after that, not bothering with the locker room or anyone who might still be lingering, and Remus rested his pounding forehead against the cool glass all the way home.

Doors opened, keys entered locks, a dog licked his hand, and then they were in their bedroom. It was unchanged since that morning, even though the rest of the world had tilted on its axis. Remus’ fingers trembled as he undid clasps and buckles, but Sirius’ were steady, and they were down to their skin in record time.

The heat of the water brought Remus back into himself a bit. It scorched away the sweat that had built up from playing, fighting, and the fear-induced adrenaline that had been keeping him going for hours now. He closed his eyes and let the warmth soak into his bones until a hand smoothed down his back. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah, it’s good.”

“…are you okay?”

Remus paused for a moment as Sirius washed his back and shoulders. “I think so? I feel lighter. I don’t know yet. Did I scare you?”

Sirius laughed a little behind him, clearly surprised. “What?”

“Your voice was shaking when you pulled me away. I was worried.”

“You scared me a little, yeah, mostly because you didn’t seem like you.” Sirius moved on to his neck and Remus sighed at the feeling. “You were fighting me like I was going to hurt you, and then in the tunnel you just kind of dropped. I was expecting something to happen once the adrenaline wore off, but it was really fast.”

“It felt fast. Oh, that’s nice.” Remus leaned into Sirius’ palm as it ran through his hair. This closeness was wonderful, soft and warm against the cold hard ice of the game. He could live in it forever. He turned around and cradled Sirius’ face between his hands, looking into his silver eyes. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Remus rested their foreheads together and Sirius’ hands ran down his arms, leaving a trail of honey lavender in their wake. “Are you using my soap?”

“You always complain about mine.”

“It does have an intense smell,” he admitted. It wasn’t his fault Irish Spring smelled like toothpaste on steroids, though. “You make it work.”

“Thanks?”

Remus laughed, then placed a kiss to Sirius’ nose.

One.

Hidden glances across locker rooms and ice rinks and dinner tables.

Two. His left cheekbone.

Pre-game kisses on the bench.

Three. His right cheekbone.

Spine-melting nights in tangled sheets, both gasping at the closeness and the all-consuming love.

Four. His jawline.

Walking hand in hand, Sirius still snickering at a bad pun as Remus swung their arms casually.

Five. His lips.

Long and slow, water coming down around them as the world righted itself. Sirius’ hands on his hips without anything but contact on his mind. Remus’ arms resting lazily over his shoulders, silently thanking him for being there.

“Are you ready to go to bed?”

“I’m not tired yet.”

Sirius smiled against his lips and squeezed his hipbones lightly. “Okay.”

They only bothered with a towel to get the majority of the moisture off their bodies and away from the sheets—Sirius shook his head like a wet dog and Remus laughed as the droplets hit him in the face. His dark hair lifted up at the ends as he guided Remus to the mattress, interlocking their fingers and pressing their hands down above his head before kissing the breath from his lungs.

Remus arched up, pushing their hips together in a slow roll that made Sirius’ abdomen jolt against his own. Sirius released his hands only to wrap a palm around them both and slowly tug; Remus’ head fell back into the pillows and he hitched one leg around Sirius’ waist on reflex. He wound his fingers in those ink-black curls as a hot mouth attached to his pulse point and bit down gently before soothing it with a slow lick down to his collarbone.

He whined as Sirius left a hickey in the hollow of his throat and moved back upward to pepper kisses everywhere but his lips. Sirius’ other hand was a constant pressure around him, pulling and sliding until Remus felt a familiar buzz spread all the way to his toes. “Baby—Sirius—Sirius, please—”

The bed disappeared. The world disappeared. Remus’ hands tightened in Sirius’ hair as he shook apart with a series of short gasps, melting into the heat that surrounded him. Distantly, he knew he was babbling some string of “I love you” and “fuck”, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

When he came down from the high, he was more exhausted than he had ever been in his life. The fog of terror and fear from earlier had long since dissipated, and the euphoria of being pressed and pulled until he fell to pieces left him sated. He felt more like himself than he had in over a week.

“You with me?” Sirius asked, his lips in the divot of Remus’ shoulder.

He smiled. “Yeah, I am.”

EVERGREEN LOVE

Slowburn love story about Roger Taylor. 

click here for masterlist and full story

Hello my beautiful, beautiful people! 

Thank you for staying with me, loads of kisses to each. and. every. one. of. you. I appreciate you and I see you and you are wonderful! 

Without further ado, here is part 16! 3,6k of fluff and smut! This is mostly fluff though, as requested, more smutt will follow 

All my love, 

Murphy

Click here for masterlist 

--------

‘Morning honey.’ Roger bent over you to kiss the bridge of your nose.

‘Wwah?’ You blinked, still gaining consciousness. You faintly noticed arms sliding under your back and got pulled into his chest tightly. He nuzzled his face into your hair pressing his lips to the warm skin of your neck and mumbled something you couldn’t understand.

‘Hmm?’ You asked sleepily.

‘I’m going for a shower.’ He clarified.  

You yawned. ‘No, stay.’

The light in the room was warm and bright, trying to pull you into the new day but you refused to do so. You felt still rosy and warm from the sleep so you slowly closed your eyes again, enjoying the feeling of his bare skin against your cheek.

‘I feel dirty.’ He smiled against your skin.

‘I don’t care.’ You replied, crawling deeper into his arms to emphasize your words.

‘You should take a shower too love.’ He murmured.

You groaned softly. ‘Why.’

‘Let’s just say.’ He started, nuzzling his nose in the crook of your neck. ‘That by certain events of last night that flowery smell of yours has long since fleeted.’

‘Are you saying I smell bad Taylor?’ You replied, lifting your head to frown at him.

‘I certainly do not.’ He laughed and pulled the fabric of your baggy shirt down your shoulder to brush his nose against the exposed skin. ‘Actually, I like this better.’ He breathed, voice still raspy from the sleep. His breath felt hot against your skin and you sighed.

‘Okay, go take your shower then Rog.’ You gave in and let him go.

He got up, sheets gliding off, exposing his naked body and stretched out one hand. ‘Join me?’ He pleaded, eyes hopeful.

You looked at him. ‘But the bed is so so comfortable.’ You whined, burying your face into the pillow.

Roger kneeled next to the bed and grabbed your waist, pulling you to him. You had your eyes closed but could feel him pushing up your T-shirt and suddenly felt his lips pressed against the soft skin of your stomach, warm and open-mouthed. You turned your face to see what he was doing.

‘Come join me, love?’ His voice sounded needy which woke up your senses.

‘Err.’

‘Please?’ He asked. ‘We could save water and I’m also very, very poor.’

You grinned. ‘Well, you are indeed very poor.’ You agreed. ‘So I reckon I have no choice in the matter then.’

He nodded an agitated yes.

‘Alrighty.’ You pushed yourself up and got rid of the T-shirt. You tossed it on the floor and got into the shower first.

‘Where is your roommate by the way Rog.’ You asked, turning on the water and waited for it to turn warm. The thought had occurred to you before last night but you had forgotten to ask.

‘Helping his dad with his house.’ Roger replied getting into the shower with you. You opened your mouth wide to let your cheeks fill with water and made room for him.

‘Holy fuck.’ He cried out when the water hit his body.

You sprayed the water you had gathered in your cheeks right in his face.  ‘What, you think it’s too hot?’

‘Are you bloody insane? It feels like I’m in the fiery debts of hell!’

‘Hmm.’ You frowned while pushing him gently to the center of the stream. Then in one swift motion you reached behind him for the shower handle and turned it to cold, jumping away yourself. Before he could realize what was happening he got the icy-cold water all over.

‘Y/N!’ He shrieked and stepped back. ‘You are so going to get that back.’ The look in his eyes made you shiver though you hadn’t even touched the water yet. He grabbed you by your waist and tried pushing you under the cold stream. You fought back but he was stronger and you screamed when you felt the icy water running over your naked body.

‘Roger!’ You squealed. ‘Let me go! Please!’

‘Fair is fair.’ He muttered in your ear in his low sleeping voice.

‘Rog, please.’ You laughed and tried to catch your breath. Fuck it was cold.

‘Okay.’ He gave in, and for a second you thought he would really let you go but then he pushed you against the wall. For a short moment you just looked at each other, anticipating what either of you would do next. He tore his eyes away from yours and let them rest on your lips. You could see his chest rise and fall and bit your lip. With that, he grabbed your ass and pulled your lower back away from the wall. Your back arched and he pressed his hips against yours. He bent forward to kiss you but stopped just before your lips touched, making you whine in frustration. You stretched your neck trying to reach for him but he wouldn’t let you.

‘What do you want?’ He asked teasingly.

‘To touch you.’

‘Do you.’

‘Yes.’

‘Ah.’

‘For fucks sakes Rog!’ You groaned. ‘You got me enough already.’

‘That’s true.’ He breathed and then pressed his lips to yours, biting your bottom lip and tugging at it softly. You sighed into the kiss, your hands running up his back to pull his wet hair gently.

‘Wait.’ He muttered and reached out of the shower cabin to reach for something on the sink. It took you a second to realize what it was before he opened it, slid it over his length and lifted your left leg in one swift motion. Then he pushed into you. You breathed in sharply at the sensation. His head dropped to your neck, lips gliding over your wet skin. You should really start using the pill, you thought.

‘You okay?’ He mumbled against your shoulder.

‘Uh-uh.’ You replied, simultaneously liking the feeling of him inside you and disliking it as it still felt slightly uncomfortable.

‘Sure?’ He wasn’t convinced.

‘Yes.’ You nodded. ‘Just try not to be too rough, for now, yeah?’

‘Of course love.’ He replied, lifting his head to examine your face and slowed his pace. ‘Does this feel okay?’ He asked, trying to read your facial expression.

You looked at him and smiled. ‘Yes. It does.’ You replied and let him pull up your knee a little higher so he could sink into you a bit deeper.

He kept his slow pace and you let your head drop back against the shower wall, hands still in his hair. You liked listening to his heavy breathing, having nothing between your naked bodies but droplets of water. You let him kiss your breasts and neck and closed your eyes enjoying the softness of his lips. You let your hands travel down to his lower back and pressed him impossibly closer against you.  Then you let them wander lower, gliding over his soft skin and grabbing his ass. He groaned softly against your skin, giving off a vibrating feeling and you chuckled softly.

When you felt he was getting close you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him open-mouthed, tongue slipping between his lips. He came softly, almost inaudibly. You smiled. He looked so soft with his wet hair. Adorable, you thought to yourself, not saying out loud as he wouldn’t want to hear it.

He lifted his head to look at you. ‘You feel really good.’ He mumbled and pressed a light kiss to your cheekbone.

‘Thank you.’ You replied, resting your forehead against his for a moment. ‘So do you Rog.’

He shot you a lazy smile. ‘Can I pull out?’ He asked. You nodded. It felt alright. Much better than yesterday anyway. He did so and then he laughed. ‘We’re still not clean, now are we.’

‘Depends on how you look at it.’ You smiled.

Roger pulled away from you and turned on the shower to a medium warmth. ‘Come here you dirty girl.’ He said and pulled you under the water. He took the shampoo bottle and started rubbing it into your hair. You closed your eyes at the feeling of his fingers on your head, letting your shoulders drop in relaxation. He rinsed the foam thoroughly under the warm stream once he was done. Then he took the shower-gel that smelled like cucumber and began running his hands all over your body. You leaned back against his torso while he lathered your ribs, stomach, hips and then your legs, squatting down next to you.

‘Your turn.’ You uttered lazily when you were all clean. You switched places and got behind him, just like he did with you and started with his hair, massaging the soap in and rinsing it out under the water. Then you took the shower gel, making foam between your hands and started dividing it on his chest and back and shoulders, traveling lower. His body felt heavy and warm against yours and you pressed your lips to his shoulder.

‘What are your plans for today Rog?’ You asked.

‘Appointment with the lads and our new manager.’ He sighed.

‘Sounds… exciting?’

‘Nah.��� He replied and turned around to face you. ‘I want to be with you Y/N.’

‘And I with you, Roger-Meddows.’ You copied his serious expression. He tilted his head to the side and smirked. ‘Meet you after?’

‘Alright.’ You poked his side making him yelp and jumped out before he could do the same.

‘What time do you have to be there?’ You asked, wrapping your body in a blue towel.

‘Well, to be exact… Now.’

You looked up and sighed. ‘Roger…’

He shrugged and got out of the shower as well. ‘Priorities love.’ He said and squeezed your ass.

 ---

 June, one month later, De Lane Lea Studios London

You were sitting on the velvet couch in front of the recording room next to Freddie and Mary. In your lap rested a book on DNA-replication you had a test on tomorrow and you tried to imprint the information into your memory. It wasn’t too hard and you were quite confident you would do fine tomorrow so after a while you put the book away and looked up.

You were able to see the boys through the glass window and though you couldn't hear them you knew Brian, Tim and their producer Fritz Freyer were arguing furiously about something by the way they moved their hands and arms agitatedly. Roger was in the back trying out some new riff and threw you occasional glances.

You had advised him to bring his glasses but he had refused to do so which resulted in him squinting and squeezing. After a bit Fritz called him at which he walked to the front and joined the argument but kept throwing you looks. Normally he would enter an argument with devotion, screaming the loudest but he didn’t involve in it at all this time. You lifted one leg, pulling the fabric of your long floral dress over it and rested your head back against the wall. It was a warm day in June and the door to the small inner garden was open, warm breeze occasionally playing with your hair gently.

The manager was saying something at which Brian laughed and suddenly they were all looking at you. Roger shook his head at Brian and you frowned, wondering what they were talking about.

The mystery got solved quickly when the manager turned on the mic to the common room and bent forward.

'Freddie or Mary, can you distract Y/N for a bit, Roger needs to concentrate.’

Freddie and Mary both laughed and you huffed indignantly.

'But I'm not doing anything!'  You protested.

Frits just shrugged. 'You existing seems to be enough.’ He replied. ‘Sorry girlie but it ain't working with this fella like this.' He gestured to Roger who lifted his hands at you as an apology.

You laughed and got up. ' Okay, okay, I'm going alright.' You conceded.

Their producer put his thumb in the air and winked at you at which you rolled your eyes but smiled nonetheless.

You turned to Freddie and Mary.

'I'll just go into town to do some shopping then.' You announced.

'I'll join ya.'  Mary said and got up. She turned to Freddie. ‘You’ll be okay Fred? Do you want to join?’

‘No, I’m fine.’ Freddie replied. ‘I’m joining those children.’ He gestured with his chin to the boys who had turned back to arguing. ‘It’s not going anywhere like this.’ He got up to enter the recording room.

‘Yes go help them, honey.’ Mary said and kissed him on the cheek before grabbing your arm.

----------

You spent the rest of the afternoon visiting vintage shops and returned to the studio early that evening.

'Am I welcome now?'  You asked jokingly when you entered the studio and saw the boys chilling on the couch. Brian and  Freddie were chattering about a certain melody and Tim and Fritz were disagreeing about the location of their next gig.

'Sure thing babe.'  Roger said smiling and stretched his arms out to you.  You sat down on his lap and let him slung his arms around you.

'How was the shopping love.'  He asked and pressed his lips to your bare upper arm.

'I got a summer dress, I'll show you later.’

'Looking forward to it.' He replied and you smiled at him.

'How's the recording going?'

Roger shrugged. 'Could be better.'  He sighed and then leaned in to whisper something in your ear. 'Tim keeps complaining. I'll explain later.'  He added. You nodded and looked around the room.

'Are you staying the evening?'  You asked.

Roger gave you an apologetic smile. 'Afraid so, love.'

'That's okay.'

'Tomorrow is your last exam isn’t it?’ He asked. ‘Shall I pick you up so we can go together?"

'Yes please.'  You nodded. looking forward to your summer break. Roger had still two tests left that week.

You rested your head on top of Rogers and closed your eyes, enjoying the warmth of the sun falling right on your face through the opened door.

'Brian and Fred and I were thinking about celebrating the start of summer break this Friday at the Lakeside out of town and have a little barbecue. What do you think?'  

'I love it.' You exulted.

'Lovely.’

 -------

last day of uni

 Roger picked you up that morning. Ally and Sam came with you, also having to attend an exam and together you entered the examination hall.

Just like you predicted the test went smoothly and you were confident you had passed it since you prepared for it well this time. Rogers test went okay and he was complaining that he had still one left on Friday.

‘I’ll help you.’ You promised when you were both standing in the hallway waiting for Ally and Sam.

‘I’d like that.’ He replied, resting his cheek on top of your head, arms wrapped around you. Personal space had become a foreign concept to you two and you tried to be close whenever possible.

 The rest of that week you spent together in the library. You were completely relaxed since you were already done for that year and spent your time reading Jane Austin in the windowsill between the books and making tiny braids in Rogers' hair whenever he felt like having a break. In the evenings when he had been bending forward over his books the whole day and his shoulders were tight you massaged the tension out of them, making him sigh softly in relief.

 Whenever he felt like giving up you sat down on the table in front of him and gave him pep-talks.

‘You are beyond smart Roger.’ You would say. ‘Your intellect is vaster than the bloody universe, do you hear me? You are Plato and Steven Hawking combined. You can do this.’

He knew you were exaggerating gravely but it made him laugh and that was worth enough.

That Friday he drove to the examination hall and promised to pick you up after to go to the lake with the gang.

‘How did it go?’ You asked when he arrived at your door, car parked behind him.

‘It was alright.’ He replied. ‘I think I’m safe.’ He slung his arm around your neck, pushing you down playfully and pulling you with him.

You laughed. ‘Okay, let’s celebrate!’

He let you go to open the door and you got into the car.

‘No!’ He objected out of the blue when he sat down next to you.

‘Huh?’ You asked surprised.

‘Don’t you dare put your feet up at the dashboard missy.’

You laughed. So he hadn’t given up on that after all. ‘Okay, but only if you ask nicely.’

‘Can you keep your cheeky little legs down, please.’

You pulled up an eyebrow at his choice of words but gave in anyway. ‘Alright alright.’ You replied, crossing your legs in front of you.

You were already wearing your swimwear and couldn’t wait to enter the water.

----------

When you arrived Brian and Freddie were already there, making a fire on the stony beach at the lakeside.

‘Hello, you guys.’ You smiled and put your stuff next to theirs.

‘Hello, darling.’ Freddie came and squeezed your and Rogers shoulder. You noticed Brian was struggling with the fire severely so you decided to help him out.

‘You need to start with tiny pieces.’ You explained and squatted down next to him.

‘Hmm?’ He asked.

You showed him how to tear small pieces of bark off the wooden logs. ‘Like this.’

You could hear Freddie and Roger talk about you softly from the side. ‘She did scouting when she was younger.’ You heard Roger explain to Freddie. ‘Her father thought it to be of importance.’

You looked up and saw Roger standing with his hands on his hips, proud smirk on his face. It made you feel proud too.

Mary arrived just as the fire started burning. She dropped two huge bags of food on the ground.

‘So, I’m done for today. You can feed me.’ Freddie went to help her.

As the fire got bigger you decided it was time for a swim. You got out of your dress and your shoes and walked to the waterfront. The water felt cool on your toes but not too cold. You walked in slowly, looking out over the lake. It was a gorgeous body of water, a lot bigger than the one you had been in that spring in Cornwall but not too big to cross. Though trees partly surrounded it was still covered in sunlight and you blinked at the sparkling water.

A little to the left was another group of friends having a picknick and you enjoyed the peaceful sounds of laughter and chattering being mixed with the rippling of the water. Your hair tickled against your bare back and you closed your eyes at the warmth of the sun. Your peaceful moment of quiet got erupted abruptly when someone suddenly grabbed you by the waist and lifted you above the water. That had to be Roger.

‘Put me down.’ You ordered, at which he just dropped you right in the water.

You went under completely. ‘Asshole.’ You muttered when you came up.

‘You ask, I deliver!’ He defended himself. You jumped on his back in revenge to push him under.

‘Enough, enough!’ He squealed when he came up again.

You looked at him suspiciously, half expecting him to pull you under again but he didn’t. You looked back at the others and saw Tim and another friend of Roger had arrived as well. Ally and Sam would come too and you looked forward to having such a big group of your favorite people together.

You and Roger got out to dry up and laid down on a blanket in the sun.

‘Oi, you lazy love birds, help with roasting the corn will ya?’ Tim asked. You both laughed and got up. They had put a grill grate over the fire and were now roasting bell peppers and sausages.

You took over from Brian and Tim.

Brian took his guitar and started strumming. You hummed softly to the melody and sat down cross-legged putting corn that was still covered in leaves on the grill.

After dinner, the sun started to set and the first star appeared in the soft blue sky. You were sitting next to Roger with your legs in his lap, wearing his sweater and together you looked out over the calm water.

‘Hey Y/N?’ Roger asked after having been quiet for a while.

‘Yes, Rog.’

‘Driving around this summer. You and me. England, France, what do ya think.’

You turned your head to face him. Was he being serious?

‘The whole summer?’ You asked, excited.

‘As long as you won’t get sick of me.’

‘As long as you won’t forget to bring fuel I’m with ya.’ You grinned.

He shook his head softly. ‘I won’t forget. Cross my heart.’

You narrowed your eyes at him but then smiled. ‘Alrighty.’

‘Well, that’s settled then. Brilliant.’

You both turned back looking out over the lake.

‘I gotta learn you how to drive, though.’ He added after a bit.

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah, if I’m tired or something you can be back up.’

‘Hmm.’

‘It’ll be fun love. I’ll make sure of that.’

You nodded. ‘Okay, sounds good.’

‘So you’re all in?’

You wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed your lips to his ear. ‘All in Rog.’ You breathed.

He smiled brightly.

 What a summer that would be. 

Click here for next the part and full story 

Thank you for reading darling! If you liked it please let me know or share;) ! love you infinitely! x 

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I finally made a little ref sheet for my Au boy? maybe a Linksona at this point? But I finally made it so ooooooh booooy

I was really shy about making this, I just wanted to get some thoughts down about him and well I didnt say everything about him because I kinda wanna make a comic about him, a real long one and so there is some misc info in that text block and some thats not..? sorry I hope someone enjoys this giant mess of an info dump （*´▽｀*）

Because of his insomnia he can usually be found sleeping outside a little ways away from his house, just walk around in the tall grass until the random encounter pops up.

He’s actually very shy about how tall he is, it makes snuggling a problem because he always wants to be the little spoon and he is a very big boy

His cloak is all purpose, keeps him warm, keeps him cool, uses it as a blanket and an umbrella, its got a little hood to it too and it makes him (supposedly) look cool when paired with his Keaton mask

he uh....he really likes animals, he thinks cuccos are pretty cute and sometimes naps in the coop with them, he wakes up surounded by eggs and covered in feathers  

Actually his favorite is Horses, while living in the forest Mido and the rest of the Kokiri would scavenge for stuff outsiders dropped and once they found a book on horse care, even though he couldent read it Timie got really excited about the idea of horses, you don’t understand how hard he screamed when he came across Lon Lon Ranch

He also has a softspot for Dragons

When I said in denial carnivore I ment OMNIVORE, he gets spooked by meat and gets sick when he has anything beef related, its probably because he’s just not used to it, cucco is usually a no because he claims he “can’t eat cute things” which is a flat out lie, he thinks pigs are cute but would eat a ham samwitch anytime

.....also he eats monster parts so....octorock tentacle soup is a thing, turns out he can eat them because of the triforce of courage (for anyone that has followed my main and seen Naga, he ccan do the same thing, the triforce of courage needs more ablities other than makes the posessor brave, even if its just dumb stuff scdvfbg) 

He sits around on his roof and plays that Ocarina whenever he feels, if he was better at reading sheet music he would of become a musician instead of a jack of all trades master of absolutly nothing he does

So not being good at things lemme just say real fast he can’t use magic outside his crystals, if he tries to use magic naturally he will get a bad headache and worse, the only thing he has been able to do so far is light a candle and collapse

Did I mention he’s a fast learner? from what happened in oot and mm he usually never makes the same mistake twice

The boy is a solar panel! Timie falls asleep outside so much not because he just randomly falls asleep, but because he likes the feel of the sun’s warmth, also possibly it’s just that he believed he was a plant once and just wanted to be a normal Kokiri who did the photosynthesis so it’s just become a force of habit to sleep in a sunny area

His first pet was Volvagia, not the REAL Ancient Dragon Volvagia but it’s baby, turns out dragon eggs can delay hatching and stay viable for long periods of time until put in fire, like brine shrimp eggs until put into water. (And yes I’m still salty they never did much with Volvagia in the offical manga excapt for the saddest mOMENT but they didn’t do ANYTHING about expanding the backstory and never even showed it in the first few chapters??? https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RememberTheNewGuy G O S H)

Timie still calls Saria mom and goes to her for advise on almost everything

So he has two kids wow what a dad two kids wow, he absolutly adores his babies and would die for them, Aya is his daughter she’s 6 and his son Leif is 3, when Aya was born he couldent be seperated from her seriously he just wanted to hold her all day he was crying actually wait more like sobbing he couldent believe it.

He did the same thing with Leif, but there was more spooked sobbing.

Also Leif’s name was Weif at first, it was because of the stupid sneezes he was making and since the waifu for laifu wasn’t awake. . .

You see that Sheikah I like to draw? the one with the high cheekbones and the dumb hair named Arn? That who Timie’s boyfriend was, i’m not gonna say much else because I wanna write something and I will spoil a LOT of shit of I say anything super specific

BUT, I can say that Timie did get his Keaton mask and the uge to braid his hair from Arn so do what you want with that information?

For some reason Timie never uses shields anymore? He never seems to take it out anymore and it might have to do with that he realized he was using it less and less during the events of Majora’s Mask

Speaking of Majora’s Mask, Tatl started to give him a bunch of nicknames like greenie, time guy, sourpuss, stone face, music dude, man of the hours, lord of all wibbily wobbily time shenanigans, or just straight up calling him a bitch....Timie was one of the more nicer ones and he took a liking to it, it’s unknown WHY he started to call himself that

Did I mention his figure is a pun kinda???? maybe not a pun but a really bad joke can you guess what it is????

One last thing: Timie clings to others for guidance and emotional support because he lacks stability while he’s alone. Navi leaving was one of the worst moments in his life, right behind losing the Deku Tree. Timie's last boyfriend leaving took a serious emotional toll on him, as Timie genuinely saw as an anchor. He has some difficulty functioning normally when he can't be around the person he loves. It's not like he'll get weird and uncomfortable when he’s going to get groceries, but when there's no way he can be around them for months.

 When traveling alone he wears his keaton mask; not because of symbolism or something, but because it makes him look cool. Realize though, when I say he doesn't function normally, his personality ends up changing. He has a fake confidence to him and becomes like...? A trickster type, or something. He might also snatch up your rupees because he needs food. Don’t say you’ll kick his ass, because he’ll threaten to eat your fingers. It’s real easy to get him to stop doing this kind of BS, though. Call his bluff and he’ll shrivel up back into the big baby he is and will probably go home (even if he’ll be lonely there).

thanks to @fairy-spring  for helping me word some of this stuff, I feel like she’s going to see the bulletpoints and lecture me about how unprofessional some of it sounds wedcfvrgb4th

Impact Wrestling Rebellion 2019 Review

Night began with a six man scramble. We had Petey Williams, Jake Crist, Aiden Prince, Ace Austin, Cousin Jake, and Eddie Edwards. No real reward for winning here, but it would be a big victory. The announcers seemed to be implying that this match would be important in the X-Division. The big spots started right out of the gate, with Crist intercepting Austin’s suicide dive with a cutter onto a pile of opponents. Crist was actually all over the place, drilling people with huge DDT’s and cutters all over the place. Austin as well was flying around with well placed kicks to all of his opponents. Jake was the powerhouse of the match, coming in to deliver huge power moves when the action was low. The finish came very quickly, with Williams hitting Jake with a Canadian destroyer, but Austin slid in and rolled up Williams for the win.

Grade: C-. Fine match, very spotty, not really long enough. Jake Crist and Ace Austin really shined, but everyone else felt very left out. Prince and Edwards in particular only really got one spot each, with Edwards hitting a tiger driver and Prince hitting a 450. The physicality of the match may be enough for some people to put it on the positive side, but they just didn’t give it enough time, nor was there much of a story here. A couple side stories converged here, especially between Austin and Williams, but we didn’t need this many people in a match to further that story. If you are gonna book a match with this many people, then you need to give it ample time. There was less than 6 minutes here, so each wrestler literally had less than a minute to do something memorable. That would be impossible. This match was doomed from the start.

Then there was an ad for Impact+, a new streaming service. Very exciting.

Next was another new match on the card, Scarlet Bordeaux vs Rohit Raju. This was a pretty basic inter gender match, with Raju being a dick and not taking her seriously. Raju had the win early on with a snap suplex, but he pulled her back off the mat. Not long after, Bordeaux was able to lock in a cross face, with Raju nearly tapping out but powered out of the hold. Scarlet was able to get the win after hitting a low blow while Fallah Bahh distracted the ref, and then a package pildriver for the win.

Grade: D. Bordeaux really isn’t all that good, and this match was so easily telegraphed that I called her getting a win with a low blow from the beginning. Raju did his best selling and such, but this match was heavily held back by its own “gimmick.” Not really worth watching.

Into the 6-man tag, Moose and The North against the Rascalz. Page and Alexander were actually cheered as they entered, possibly because of their affiliation with Canada. Heels has a huge size advantage. Rascalz started out with some high flying teamwork, hitting senton after senton to Moose, before Moose destroyed them after a kip up. Dez was destroyed for much of the beginning, but when they got the offense they hit some killer offense. Page was taken out after being hit with a pushed moonsault off the stage from Wentz. Moose then caught a suicide dive from Trey, powerbombing him into the barricade, before Dez came flying in with a senton, jumping off the back of Alexander on the stage. The Rascalz hit a series of offense of the top rope, only for Page to break it up with a crucifix bomb. Alexander then threw Wentz out of the ring onto Trey. Dez continued to get destroyed, being hit with a superkick, forearm, and then a pump kick. The North then destroyed him with an assisted fireman’s slam, and then a spear from moose for the win.

Grade: B+. This is how to have a flippy sprint of a match. Everyone had a chance to shine, with the Rascalz showing some of their high flying prowess, and the heels showing how good they could be in a prominent pay per view spot. Makes sense for the heels to pick up the win, builds up a new tag team and a new challenger for the world championship. I liked this a lot.

In an interview, Johnny Impact and Taya Valkyrie bullied Melissa Santos, and ultimately said that they would destroy their opponents. Simple stuff, but Santos is an awesome interviewer. She gives me Renee Young vibes, and hopefully she becomes just as big.

Into the Knockouts championship match, Jordynne Grace against Valkyrie. Grace attacked right at the bell, immediately dropping Valkyrie onto the apron twice for a near fall. Valkyrie targetted Grace’s arm throughout the match. Grace started to fight back, hitting Valkyrie with a lariat, but falling to the mat in pain from the injured arm. Grace continued to use her arms to attack, with one lariat after the other, but she just couldn’t keep it up. Valkyrie took advantage of that and hit the road to Valhalla for the win.

Grade: B-. This match was a bit slow, and really was just short of being bad. I liked the story of dissecting the arm, and having that come back to hurt Grace. Valkyrie played a great heel here, and nevertheless got a clean win. It was just a very straightforward match that felt like it should have been on TV, given how much limb work was in it. But I was into the story, so good on them for crafting a narrative.

Another interview from Santos, this time with Gail Kim. Kim said that she is coming back to the ring to teach Tessa Blanchard a lesson. A lesson that no one is willing to teach them themselves. She wouldn’t listen to Kim as an agent, so maybe she will listen as an opponent. 

And next up was Rich Swann against Sami Callihan for the X-Division championship, under OvE rules. The rest of OvE, including their new heavy, are banned from ringside. As Swann came down, he was not dancing at all, dead serious, opening the match with a series of quick strikes. Swann wasted no time getting extreme, stapling Callihan several times in he opening stretch. Callihan returned the favor with a staple to the mouth the second he got the staple gun. Callihan countered a suicide dive with a brutal shot with a steel sheet to the face. Callihan even countered a crossbody by catching Swann, and drilling him into a seated chair with an exploder suplex. Swann shocked the crowd with how sadistic he could be, licking Callihan’s blood, and nailing Callihan with a series of kicks while his head was in a garbage can. Swann also used the stipulation to aid his flying offense, swinging off part of the set into a hurricanrana, and also nailing a handspring cutter on the stage. Callihan has a bit of railing set up between the stage and ring steps, and ended up piledriving Swann onto it for a near fall. Swann was on the top rope locking for a splash, but Callihan countered with a hand full of salt to the eyes, and then piledriver him off the top and onto a pile of legos for a crazy near fall. Callihan introduced a barbed ware baseball bat into the match, but Swann got it after a hitting a low blow, tapping Callihan out with a cross face using the bat.

Grade: B. Pretty good match, with some absolutely brutal death match spots. I wasn’t sure how much Swann’s offense would translate into a style like this, but he worked pretty well. My biggest problem with the match was simply that they didn’t play up their rivalry enough. This match was one of the best built on the whole card, but I didn’t feel as much emotion as I thought I would. They didn’t really tap into it until the end, when Callihan begged Swann to have mercy on him. With that little bit more of storytelling, and possibly a bit more wrestling before they got into all the deathmatch stuff, this could have been a really great match.

Another interview, this time with Blanchard. She said that she doesn’t need to respect anyone who doesn’t deserve it. Tully Blanchard showed up out of nowhere, saying that he fully supported his daughter, and that she needed this win. Well alrighty then.

We went right into that match next, Gail Kim against Tessa Blanchard. This was a brawl from the bell, and it was Blanchard’s strength against Kim’s speed. Blanchard hit a brutal codebreaker off of the middle rope for a near fall. This really felt like the two hated each other, with a bit of extra emphasis on each of the strikes. The two even brawled on the ring steps, with Tessa going face first into the post. After a big splash out of the corner from Kim, the crowd erupted into well deserved “you still got it” chants. The two brawled on the stage, and Blanchard used her signature reverse dragon suplex spot to throw Kim off the stage. Kim was able to hit Blanchard with eat defeat after countering a slingshot suplex, but only a near fall. As Kim locked in a dragon sleeper on the top rope, Blanchard countered by biting her arm, and then hitting magnum for another near fall. Blanchard then immediately locked in a sort of cobra clutch on the mat, and Kim had no choice but to tap out. After the match, Blanchard offered a handshake, but Kim came in with a hug. Blanchard was balling her eyes out, so happy to get the torch passed to her. Kim was in the ring and soaked up the applause, in what could easily be her last match. And it was a hell of a match to go out on.

Grade: A-. This was a brutal match for a brutal feud. All the hatred that built between the two in the preceding weeks was addressed here. They brought the fight to each other with as much as they possibly could. The adversity between the two was real, and it was awesome to see the two get to show what they had. The showcase at the end was very sweet, but it kinda took me out of the whole “hate each other” thing. But it was clearly a huge moment for Blanchard, the biggest win she’s ever had, so I understand why she couldn’t contain herself.

Cage cut a weirdly quick promo about how he will do anything to beat down Impact tonight. Their friendship was long gone, and he wants to show him that he is the better man.

And that world championship match was next, Brian Cage against Johnny Impact with Lance Storm as the referee. Another match that started right at the bell, with Cage destroying Impact with tackles, kicks, a German Suplex and an F5 for a near fall right out of the gate. Then he hit a buckle bomb, and a deadlift vertical suplex off the apron and into the ring for another near fall. He went for another deadlift, but Impact fought out and hit an incredible German suplex. Impact then took the fight to the stage, and hit a Spanish fly off the the ramp and onto the floor. At some point, Cage did a blade job, probably after being thrown into the barricade. Actually, looking at his head, Cage May have cut open the top of his head, but either way, he was bleeding like a stuck pig. As the two brawled, Valkyrie and the crooked ref Bravo set up a table for Impact on the outside. Impact had Cage set up for a Starship Pain through the table, but Cage got up and powerbombed Impact through the table. Bravo tried to get involved, but Cage caught him. Impact hit Cage with the belt in the back, only for Valkyrie to pull Storm out of the ring, and Impact nailed him with a dropkick to the outside. Impact then played possum in the ring, with Valkyrie pretending that she hit Cage with the belt. Cage drilled her with a powerbomb, only for Impact to grab the belt and hit Cage with it. Bravo then ran in the ring, with a ref’s shirt on, and Impact hit the Starship Pain, but Cage kicked out! Storm ran back in the ring, and superkicked Bravo. He was about to disqualify Impact, but Cage stopped him. Cage then hit Impact with a superkick of his own, and the drill claw to finally win the Impact world championship.

After the match, Michael fucking Elgin showed up debuting in Impact, and he seemed to challenge Cage for his belt. He attacked Cage with a backfist and a spinning powerbomb. Seems like we have the next big opponent for Cage.

Grade: B-. This was fucking wild. Huge moves all over the place, and while it seemed slow at times, the big moves more than made up for it. That finishing sequence was all over the place, but it seemed to tick all the boxes. Impact got comeuppance with a powerbomb through a table and losing his belt. Valkyrie ate a rough powerbomb, and Bravo was hit with a superkick. However, everything that was leading up to that finish, apart from the opening sequence, seemed like it slowed down too much. I think that Cage looked a bit weak, even in his victory, because he didn’t have he advantage much after he started bleeding. But still, his win was the right choice. I wouldn’t have had Elgin beat him down right after his big win, his first big win at that, but it will probably be an awesome match. I was wondering where Elgin went, and this is a huge acquisition for Impact. Also, they used to be a tag team in PWG, so maybe they will bring that up. The finish, while entertaining, was a bit overbooked and had too many twists and turns to really keep up with. A bit tough to grade this one, but I think that the loss of momentum and the flurry of stuff happening in the latter half of the match hurt it a bit for me.

In the clubhouse, LAX were prepared for their match in the main event. Kennan called the full metal mayhem match a Mexican standoff, which is weird because it is nothing like a Mexican standoff, other than the fact that it is a standoff amongst Mexicans. Maybe I’m stupid, because I was thinking about that so much that I missed the rest of the promo.

And in the main event, the Lucha Bros took on LAX for the Impact Tag Team Championships, in Full Metal Mayhem. Once again, LAX attacked before the bell with stereo dives. Fenix and Pentagon responded with dives of their own, sending everyone through tables. The Lucha Bros hit their classic double superkick spot, but Satanna’s head was in a trash can this time. LAX hit their team combo, but Fenix broke up the pin with a big diving dropkick, and then fended them both off with a series of kicks. At one point, Ortiz had Fenix up for a draping cutter into a couple set up chairs, and Santana assisted with a double stomp to Fenix’s head, for a near fall. The four met in the middle of the right, nailing each other with elbow strikes while just sitting in chairs. Konnan involved himself after this, passing Ortiz and Santana a couple forks. LAX set up a bunch of chairs near the corner, only for the Lucha Bros to use it against them with a terrifying fear factor into the chairs, but Santana kicked out! Fenix looked pretty busted up during the match, and even Don Callis and Josh Mathews on commentary pointed out that his left arm looked limp. Lax had a table set up on the ramp, and Ortiz tried to put Pentagon through it with something off a ladder, but Fenix walked the top rope and drove him through it with the scariest Spanish fly that I have ever seen. Fenix under rotated, and landed on his fucking head and somehow he could still walk. Back in the ring, Santana ate a Pentagon driver through a chair, but still kicked out. Then came the thumb tacks. Pentagon spread them out on a pair of tables. Pentagon and Santana battled atop a ladder, teasing who would go through them. It seemed like Santana would do the honors, but Ortiz ran in to make the save, putting Pentagon in a powerbomb position. Santana helped out his partner by stabbing Pentagon in the head with a fork, and Ortiz blasted Pentagon through the tables and the tacks. That was what did it, and LAX began their forth title reign as the tag champs.

After the match, Fenix could barely stand up straight. Konnan decided to squash the hate, saying that they are family. They all embraced, and then the faces of the roster came out to pay their respects.

Grade: A. One of the most terrifying matches I have ever seen. The spots were so sick, everything was scary as hell, and it was car crash TV at its finest. This was as much of a war as their feud needed, and it was a hell of a blowoff. I hope that Fenix is okay, because that was a scarier spanish fly than Will Ospreay last year. The embrace at the end made a lot of sense as well. They started this feud as friends, and that was how they ended it. Great match through and through, easily the best Impact match in years. Match of the night for sure.

Overall Grade: B-

Pros: Good commentary; 6-man tag; X-Division Championship; Blanchard vs. Kim; Main Event

Cons: Way too short of an opener; Bordeaux vs. Raju

On a note that I wanted to be completely separate from the review, why wasn’t anyone disqualified for using the tables in the main event? They aren’t made of metal, so they shouldn’t be legal. Just saying.

Goals for the New Year (2019 edition!)

Looking back at last year's journal I was pretty unfocused about my goals |D I think I had a vague idea of essentially wanting to share more of my OCs, wanting to post more, and wanting to make more time to interact with folks and draw. This year I've got a lot more substance to what I want, er, maybe a little too much? Let's review 2018 and then my new goals ;v;

What I did accomplish:

I ended up starting to make character reference sheets as a start to sharing my OCs, which wasn't a bad way to go <: This year I'd like to continue that trend for sure! It's helping me nail down appearances for some characters that have only been strictly written before, and finalizing/updating appearances for characters that I've drawn for a long time. I initially started with really clean references and then moved into more sketchy ones for the sake of saving time, and I'll probably continue to do that for most of my characters and side projects, minus the really important ones (I intend to give Rock, Cale, and Vox clean refs, for example). I also managed to post at least once every month here which was a goal of mine last year, and I'm very proud of myself for that

It seems like such a small amount of times to upload art (a minimum of 12 times all year) but it's a goal that seemed challenging with my lack of free time.

I am still working on making more time to draw and be social. The job I started at the beginning of last year really dug into my time and energy, and I ended up springing for a new one during the holidays. I've been told that somewhere probably from mid to late January (or maybe early February depending on how long it takes to train new folks) I'll be able to have less hours on my plate. This is a big deal because art is what I want to do most, and with more people slowly offering to commission me, I desperately want to have the time to do said commissions. I have turned down several friends and clients when asked (or not responded because I was unsure how to explain myself), purely because I didn't feel I could do even a single image in a timely manner, and I didn't want them waiting months for something they paid for. Fingers crossed this will be changing soon!

But that rolls into more things I did do! I took way more commissions last year than I have before, and I have a small steady queue of folks who would like more that I want to get back to! I also tried some YCHs and adopts and had some success there as well ;v; It was a goal of mine to really work at that stuff and even if it's a small amount compared to other artists, I'm really excited about it!

I also had my first ever convention table! My fiancee Cristal ( @hellscythearts ) and I got to sell our prints at an anime/geek convention and that was a dream come true! I've wanted to do that ever since attending my very first convention when I was really young. I also got a lot of practice in with clean line art and cell shading, which are two things I've always wanted to get better at, but had no confidence in ;v; and this year I really liked a lot of my pieces, enough to sell them as prints even!

What I didn't do:

I didn't end up sharing as much about my characters as I wanted to, or starting any big projects (curse you anxiety and time management!). While I did start making references for a lot of them (and their alternate universe variations because we have way too many AU versions hanging around), I didn't actually finish all of the references I wanted to. I also haven't actually TALKED about them that much outside of those posts.

There haven't been a lot of written snippets with large illustrations, or drabbles/plain writing shared. I also only did a handful of small comics when I'd hoped to do more to showcase their personalities. I do like the ones I did, I just want to do more! I'm still nervous to go in depth with many of them, even if their appearances are appealing I worry about their characterization or stories being uninteresting ;v; but I need to remind myself that I like writing them, and that should be the most important part. It's just a bonus if you guys end up liking them too!

I also didn't end up with a job that gave me more time but WE'LL SEE ABOUT THIS NEWEST ONE NOW THAT THE HOLIDAYS ARE WINDING DOWN.

What I want to do:

Okay, I have a lot of different ideas for what I'd like to work on this year. I'm going to lay out WAY TOO MANY GOALS, with the understanding to myself that I don't need to accomplish all of them. Even just one is okay. Please remind me of that too if I get too down on myself and my progress ;v; I want to do a lot but I need to take it easy on myself when it comes to productivity and output just because art isn't my main occupation yet. These goals are not listed in any particular order or priority!

Keep making references! There are lots of characters I didn't get to yet, and I want to at least get to the "main" ones and their original versions. Other sketchy AU refs are a bonus.

ACTUALLY SHARE PARTS OF MY OC'S STORIES AND MORE ABOUT THEM. This could be comics, drabbles, journal memes, or written snippets with art. It doesn't matter, make me post about my OCsand not just leave cool doodles and no information. I want you guys to start getting to know them like I know them.

COMICS. I want to start making comics. Both one off comics about my characters like I did in 2018, but also more structured ones. Cristal and I have so much writing done, and a few character stories that are basically finished, so no more excuses not to get drawing on at least one of those ones!

More Youtube: I have two different ideas about this. Last year I posted one speedpaint video almost every month, excluding November and December (although I did three in October so???) I want to try and keep that momentum. But I also want to try my hand at some other things-- specifically small animations. These would be pretty non-serious stuff, and mostly a lot of memes that fit my OCs, or maybe small 10-30 second scenes with music. So every month if I can, I'd like to post EITHER A SPEEDPAINT OR SHOT ANIMATION (with or without audio).

Attend more conventions! We've signed up for some so this is really just not to get discouraged and to keep signing up as more open. I know we won't get into all of them but I want to try to start doing it more regularly, being a part time convention artist is really appealing to me. Our first time was honestly like being paid to be on vacation and it was super good for my anxiety and stress issues.

Keep accepting commissions: It would be cool if I could take more of them this year, but I'd at least like to keep doing them at all. For the tail end of last year my momentum really died down and I stopped taking almost any. I'm not sure what a realistic goal/number here would be, so I'm sort of stuck on -take them at all- right now.

Continue posting art at least once a month to dA/twitter/tumblr! My standards with this goal are pretty loose. Big illustrations would be the ideal, but comics and references or weird experimental art are also a-okay. I want to stay lax about this.

Again, I don't need to do all of these goals. Heck I could probably rotate them a little through the year. These are just all the things I'd like to work on. Drawing and writing and animating are like, the things I've always wanted to do with my life, and I keep being afraid to put myself out there more. It can be hard to balance work with this (at the moment I'm doing A LOT OF OVERTIME), but it's ultimately what would make me the most happy. I want to be financially stable, but still be creatively fulfilled. Ideally I think working part time and then taking commissions/doing conventions/comics is where I want to shoot for, so we'll see what the year brings ;v;  

Now!!! Tell me about YOUR goals. What do you want to do this year creatively? How do you want to improve your art/writing? What about none art related things? How did you do with last year? Did you make progress? Did you find something new you're passionate about/interested in? What about non-art goals?

When did you create Masumi ? :0

(( Oh uhhhhhh it wasn’t long after I got into Jojo which was like...late 2017, in October I think. I worked on her first character sheet around that time and it took a few months (mostly because of episodes of no inspiration) to finally finish her and then I made this blog the following year.

Originally I was planning to make a self insert for fun but the more I worked on her, the more she developed as a character and I felt like although she had similarities to me, she had unintentionally become her own character so I went ‘fuck it, I’m making an OC now!’ and tbh I like how Masumi turned out better than how my self insert was going.

I got her name ‘Masumi’ from my past self-insert’s nickname ‘Masu’ since I didn’t know where to start for names and it just stuck while I was looking at Japanese ones. For last names I just wanted something that sounded good with her first, but I ended up following ‘Jojo Name Rules’ by accident since she shares her last name with a J-pop singer and you know Jojo is all about those music refs ghjkl))

The Illustration Master Class - A First Timer's Journal

This is a long blog post. It's mostly for my own purposes, but also for those who want an in-depth look at what being at the IMC is like. I have some pointers for first timers, things you might not think of and things to consider in advance. They'll be at the end of the article. I want to thank Dave Palumbo for allowing me to use a couple of his amazing photos too, he's a talented SOB. 

probably won't forget the moment my Facebook messages suddenly started pinging off. 'Congrats Sam!' 'Hey Sam, you won!' I distinctly remember thinking, hmm, what did I win? Did I enter another twitter giveaway or something? Then someone followed up with 'you won the scholarship!' It took me a moment. Then the chat I was in the middle of with my other half suddenly filled with lots of expletives and capitals on my end. Holy shit. I'd won the Muddy Colors scholarship to the IMC, something that had been a long-term wish of mine since I'd found out about it 5 or 6 years prior but hadn't ever had the funds to attend. So to find out that my entry to their scholarship program - through the generous donations of the Muddy Colors Patreon - submitted on a 'what have I got to lose' mentality that was still shadowed by the fuzzy sting of not getting into Spectrum, had scored me the full cost of the course. I'd honestly forgotten I'd applied. Let that be a lesson to those of you who hold back on submitting to things, especially the things that are free. It's always worth a punt. 

So what's it like to go to the IMC? I can tell you that winning the scholarship made the pre-IMC thumbnail assignment a lot more stressful than if I'd paid for it. The weight of imagining disappointing the people who had seen my work and voted for it - artistic heroes of mine -  was pretty heavy. It made me feel like I couldn't just go and do the same thing I'd always done, even if it had won me the scholarship. Before I started drawing, I reconsidered my influences. I'd started a secret pinterest board a few months back simply called 'Ho Fuck That's Good.' Stuff that gave me a gut punch when I looked at it. I spent a lot of time looking at those images and a lot of the others I had pinned. I stopped paying attention to work that I simply found technically impressive, that had awesome composition or great values. I looked for what moved me. Why it moved me. I started making notes about themes I found compelling or that cropped up a lot in my own work. I decided I wasn't going to do just a straight up realistic narrative Whaler Girl piece, I was going to try and make my own work be more like that which moved me. A risky, and perhaps somewhat dumb move, given those same realistic, narrative images had won me the scholarship. 

We were asked to provide 4 or 5 thumbnails, either of our own choosing, or from an assignment provided, such as an illustration to accompany a short story, the likes of which are often published on Tor.com. With themes like duality, death, grief and love in relationships crowding my brain, I created a lot of thumbnails. I wasn't going to take the first 3 or 4 that came out. I did about 20 in total and narrowed it down to the 6 I felt most attached to. Some of them even had hints back to The Whaler Girl in a very asbtract way. They'd come out better than I'd hoped for and I could see a tiny glimpse of the sort of painting I might get out of it. It made me excited to put them in front of my chosen faculty member. 

We were asked to pick a top 5 from the vertiable smorgasbord of faculty. That was hard. It turned out that most people got grouped with their top pick and that dictated who the other faculty were that would give you feedback. I suspect my pick would have surprised a few people. Kent Williams was actually the instructor I was least familiar with, but researching his work, especially his most recent work, it hit the same kind of buttons that my inspiration board had. His work felt emotionally personal and while I knew I didn't want to necessarily paint like he did, I felt he might be able to give good feedback on how to tap into that sense of the personal. Perhaps someone who could help keep me on track with the first wibbly steps I was taking with my own work. I count myself lucky to have landed in the group with Rebecca, Kent and Tara (McPherson). 

I wanted to make a good first impression, but there were so many approaches to the dreaded 'crit day'. Some folks brought only one or two finished colour thumbs, some folks just had small, traditionally drawn thumbnails, occasionally done on arrival the night before. Some brought photo mockups of the exact piece they wanted to work on. All approaches got good feedback. I'd been forewarned that crit day could be rough, but I think the Studio 201 guys were pretty chill. I did peek my head in on the other two rooms briefly. Donato, Greg Ruth and Scott Fischer were all highly animated and I've been told often argued with each other's feedback. Dan Dos Santos, Irene Gallo and Greg Manchess were part of the group that, from chatting to folks, seemed to get the most direct feedback.

I was a little surprised when there was no tracing paper used during my crit. All three faculty members responded favourably to what had been my favourite thumbnail, despite its weirdness. No direct suggestions other than resolving the shapes in my minimal, non-figurative space (that minor bit of feedback would come to haunt me by The Thursday of DOOM, but I'll get to that later). Inspirations like Inka Essenhigh, Hope Gangloff and Dorothea Tanning were thrown my way, I loved all three for very different reasons. It was safe to say inspiration was running high and I had a tonne of positive energy to run with. 

I felt like I was well prepped going into the IMC, but I wasn't. Choosing to go full traditional when having to fly internationally was a pain. I didn't have a lot of the stuff I needed and had to rely on the infinite kindness of my fellow students and faculty to see me through. Stephen, Annie, Chris, Julia, you were all lovely, I can't thank you enough. 

My Tuesday started with James Gurney sat at my breakfast table. That was surreal but awesome. He and his wife Jeanette are as lovely two people as you could hope to meet, full of insight and always taking notes. The previous day's lecture on photo reference was flowing through my mind and I dreaded having to ask fellow students. My figures were both nudes and that wasn't something I was comfortable with, though I thought perhaps I could take individual legs and arms and use a little online ref to fill in the rest. I wish I'd drummed up the courage to ask my fellow students, but that particular social step eluded me the whole week. I spent the day instead with many sheets of tracing paper, figuring out What marks were what. I had discussions with Greg Ruth and Donato Giancola about how to find those shapes and make them fit in my piece. You have to figure out who to listen to, and whose advice to stash for a later date. You get bombarded with advice if you go in as open-minded as I did. I'd thrown myself into a pool I should have been paddling in first, pretty much at the very public deep end. I'll admit I found ways to put off getting to painting, as it was only the 2nd oil painting I'd done in the last 20 years and the company I had in the room was stellar and a little overwhelming. Eventually, I chose to redraw via a grid so I could edit as I went along and I used some reference I shot of my own limbs to help flesh the drawing out. I left Tuesday feeling reasonably positive about the work.

Wednesday was a full day with faculty feedback, up to the first 5 pm lecture. Dan Dos Santos, who is perfectly lovely, but also very honest with feedback, stopped by my easel. Overall, very complimentary, he pulled me on a bit of weird anatomy, that after using a lot more photo ref with the rest of the piece, had begun to stand out. He suggested I grab Rebecca after our discussion. I'd responded best to her feedback, as she seemed to understand what I was trying to do, so I grabbed her after lunch. She immediately told me the leg and anatomy I'd had in the thumbnail had been working, and that if I liked the weirdness (which I did) to go weird with the rest of the piece to make the leg fit. Literally the opposite of Dan's feedback. Feedback is such a personal thing, every instructor has their own view of art and own journey. I'd probably tried to take a little bit of everyone who'd stopped by and given feedback and every little bit had nudged me slightly off the course I'd intended to take. Dan's feedback was spot on, if I'd been after something with a solid grounding in realism, but I wasn't. I was after an emotional feeling rather than muscles that looked like they fit where they were supposed to go. Rebecca suggested I just print the thumbnail out, mount it to masonite and paint on that. But resolve my shapes first. 

That led me to ask Tara for advice and after some back and forth, I thought I knew where I was going, and decided rather than be tied to the values I'd got in the thumbnail to start with, I'd trace down the printed thumbnail and resolve my shapes. All went well, I got the drawing on the board, and aware of the ever-ticking clock and my ability to get feedback on my painting process, I was keen to get started the following day.

I nick-named Thursday 'Thursday of DOOOOOOOM' in my sketchbook notes. With that many 'O's'. It started well, with my sketch on my illustration board, I figured I'd use acrylic underpainting to speed up the process, then seal with matte medium and start on top in oils. I'd brought a lovely lime green and violet with me, my underpainting was done in warm purple-reds as a counterpoint, and I was winging it. It felt good. I stepped away for a bit before lunch and came back after to the horror of a C-shaped warped board. A brand I'd not used before, I hadn't been heavy with it at all. I threw some matte medium on the back in the hopes it would pull itself out of the curve, but it only stiffened. I think panic set in at this point, I knew there was no point in doing more on the board, but I'd been stubborn over mounting the printouts I'd done. Old dog, new tricks and all that.

Distraught, I knew I had no choice. I slunk off to the back of the studio and tried not to blub my eyes out as I tried a totally new method of mounting with less than perfect tools. Flustered, my hair constantly got stuck in the medium, making me even more panicked that the whole thing would be a disaster and that I'd missed the last supply run and would have to face the very public shame of asking someone for actual help. If there's one thing I hate, it's not being self-sufficient. My fellow students would have happily helped out, but shame is a pretty powerful emotion, it tends to rule what you do. I prayed the mounted paper wouldn't need a 2nd sheet mounting on the back to counter the drawing mounted on the front. At best, in the blazing sun, this stuff would take a couple of hours to dry to the point I could paint on it. The wind did its best to prevent me from stacking the board outside and in my hours of deepest bleakness, I figured that maybe if it blew over into the dirt and insects, I'd say fuck it and make them part of the fucking thing too. It was also at this point I realised the printouts had cropped the two thumbnails I'd chosen to work with, altering their composition drastically. My own dumb fault for not setting the page size up properly in the printer. One more shame I'd suck up and live with. I wish I'd asked for help. I think knowing the pieces weren't what I'd initially intended broke my ability to give them my full attention and killed my mojo for the next couple of days. My anxiety rats, as Rebecca delightfully referred to them, were in full swing. 

While I waited for it to dry, I headed back into the studio and mentioned to Rebecca I'd given in with the curved board and mounted the thumbnail and would she have a look over what I'd chosen to do with the background. Rebecca is gracious and lovely and patiently listens to me explain what I've done. Then she points to some of the graphic elements I'd put in and gently says that they still feel too literal and forced, that the motifs I choose should be something I relate to closely and that it doesn't quite live up to the right hand, figurative side of the painting. I suggest a couple of other ideas, feeling a scrabbling panic bulding in me, only to hear her tell me everything still feels too literal. My logic brain knows she's right, but after a distraught morning, I'm clasping at any straw I have to salvage the situation. I don't know if it showed, and she saw that I was struggling with it or if it was just honest feedback for the moment, but at that point, she looked at me and said 'maybe this piece is a step too far for you right now, maybe you should do the other piece, if that's something that's more comfortable for you.' I think I agreed with her, nodded and extolled the virtues of taking a step back into my comfort zone, getting a painting I knew how to do done was a good thing, yes? But damn if that wasn't a kick to the gut at that very moment. 

She was absolutely right, though. I'd throw myself into a deep pool, with people who were olympic athletes at diving its depths, and in the course of a week expected to be able to at least dive a good distance with them. I'd been able to get my head underwater with my well-planned thumbnails, but in this overwhelming, information packed, inspiring, public test of artistic mettle, I'd punched above my depth, so to speak. Trying to shift gears artistically when you have your own space and the time to find your journey is one thing, I don't know if it can be done in a week, no matter how much amazing input you get from your artistic heroes. Chris, Erin, Annie, I'm sorry if my energy those next 48 hours was a bummer, it wasn't a place I was familiar with being. 

Kent Williams came to the rescue of my very bruised ego that evening with a talk about his personal journey through art. Indirectly, seeing the bredth and depth of his work over such a long time span, I confess to feeling a little idiotic that I'd expected to be able to make that leap in a week. Every faculty member who gave a talk like that had shown me that their journeys were long, and often fraught with failed ventures or periods of doing artistic things they didn't want to. I left the lecture with my tail between my legs, but a renewed sense that I would do my best with the hand I'd given myself. I did a couple of colour studies that evening, traditionally, inspired by seeing James Gurney's master studies in his lecture. I loved doing them, and wish I'd had more time to do more. But I found a piece online that had a palette I liked and did a couple of explorations of a similar theme. I finally, finally, 4 days into the escapade, managed to put down some oil paint. 

Friday and Saturday I painted as much as I could, but tentatively, I was making marks I'd never made before. I listened to the feedback being given around me and let anyone who wanted to stop and give me feedback, do so. I'm not sure I actively asked for it. I struggled as the ladies around me with their amazinly characterful pieces drew the attention of everyone who went past. I wondered if I was so far off the mark and weird that no one knew what to say about my piece. Maybe it was so bland that they couldn't praise or crit it. In retrospect, I recognise that my mood and lack of decent sleep was tinting my mood heavily, and I suspect I was giving off the same vibe, which is enough to make folks give you a bit of a wide berth. 

The theme of finding your niche and doing what you love came up in more than one lecture over those days. I went to bed at 2 am both nights, in an attempt to get as much done as I could. I socialised a little more, realising that was as much a part of the experience as the painting. If not more. I'm hugely thankful for the bonds I forged during that week, something I couldn't have done at home, no matter how much I painted. Those bonds were worth much more to me than the painting I half finished. I think I came to accept that what I wanted to do was going to be a journey that needed a little longer than a week to take. I wish there had been more 'round table' lectures with all the faculty, seeing them interact together on the business lecture was amazing. 

Sunday was chill. I'd had the intention of painting more, but clearing up took a while, and I felt good being relaxed. So I socialised more instead. Our final lecture with Donato was the perfect note to end the experience on and the open house was a chance to take in everyone's work, the standard of which was amazing. After a super tasty mexican dinner and strawberry margherita, the bar beckoned. After drawing I don't know how much hentai in people's sketchbooks and getting a badass Bill Nighy sketch from the awesome Bud Cook in my own sketchbook, alongside the weirdest pseudonyms and animal drawings ever, I crashed and burned as being under the influence after a week of mental stress and lack of sleep took its toll on me. Conan, thank you for making sure I got back safely that night, I really appreciate it, I suspect I'd have passed out in a dark corner of the bar otherwise. Sad I missed out on the late night partying that ensued, but damn, did I need that night's sleep. 

So there's one woman's view of what it's like to go to the IMC, to throw yourself at the mercy of the faculty and your own desires. To fail and not deal with it well, to realise that the painting was never the important thing. IMC was amazing. I can only hope this gives those of you who haven't been a teensy insight. I'm not going to cover what the lectures were or what faculty shared with us, that's a very specific IMC experience, that you really have to go to appreciate. I will say I am hugely thankful to Dan, Rebecca and all of those on Muddy Colors who made that experience real for me. It has enriched me in ways I suspect I'll only realise as my journey continues. Thank you to everyone who gave me kind words and praise and to those who tried to guide me on my way. If ever the opportunity arises for you to attend, I would say grab it with both hands and run with it. Even if your experience doesn't run as profound as mine, and it simply lets you have some time to paint whatever the hell you want, being in a huge room full of people going through the same thing is well worth the price, not to mention watching faculty paint in real time is invaluable. 

So, what if you've taken that leap, some months from now and you're going to the IMC? Here's a few pointers from someone who thought they were prepared and was woefully not. 

1 -  THE DORMS Are basic AF. I was somewhat prepared, but when the FAQ says the beds are firm, they mean it. Think springs wrapped in a bit of plastic tarp. The sheets are functional, but the blanket looked like someone had put used dog bedding through a shredder and mushed it out into a rectangle. I bought a spare blanket at the CVS store, cause no way was that thing touching my skin. I may be a little sensitive though. I affectionately referred to the whole set up as my prison bed, cause honestly, that's all I could think of. If you can bring your own bedding, I'd recommend it.

The dorm bathrooms are gender neutral, which means anyone can use them. I was fine with it, but it's odd the first time you wander into the bathroom and find the opposite sex brushing their teeth. I never had any problems taking a shower, though, they were pretty quiet. 

Morris Pratt Dorm was definitely the more social, I was very thankful to be on the 3rd floor, as a light sleeper, the partying into the wee hours would have kept me awake had I been on the lower floors. The box fans helped with white noise, but the doors are all pretty heavy, so unless folks are very delicate with how they close them, expect some noise. I found the box fan enough without the AC, even when it got pretty warm on the last couple of days. 

2 - FOOD. Having never been to a large educational establishment in the US, I wasn't sure what to expect with the food. Would I have to venture into Amherst to find healthy stuff, would there be much choice? The food was surprisingly decent. It's still a large facility, so it's never going to be amazing restaurant quality, but there were a few choices every day and a well-stocked salad bar. They even had a soft serve ice cream machine, that I managed to avoid until Sunday. I'm not a coffee drinker, but I had it on good authority that the coffee in the dining hall wasn't great. It might be an idea to bring a drinks container with you, as mealtimes are the only time you can get drinks on campus, outside of water fountains. Amherst is only a 10-minute walk down the road, though. 

3 - ART SUPPLIES AND STUDIO SAFETY. I brought paints, brushes and surfaces with me, with the knowledge I'd ordered a couple extra things for while I was there and that there was a supply run. If you work on specific surfaces, it's best to bring those with, Michael's wasn't super well stocked, and more speciality things like large clayboard weren't available. A lot of people bring extras and are happy to share, thankfully. I would have brought more old rags or kitchen towels and some tape. People often used walls to tape up thumbnails or other pieces of art.

The university runs a very strict number of safety policies surrounding paints, water and mediums. Bring some lidded jars with you for mediums and water. Everything has to be labelled clearly and remained closed when not in use. Even water used for rinsing acrylic and watercolours. All have to be disposed of carefully too. Same with anything you wipe paint or mediums on, so using something a bit more disposable like kitchen towel might do you better. They ask you to cover your oil paints when not in use, though that can be with a simple piece of palette paper. 

If you choose an easel, if you have space for a little extra table, you'll likely make good use of it. The chairs they supply are also very basic and not comfortable for long periods, so bringing a cushion is definitely a good idea.  Oh, and they say the studio opens at 8 am on Monday but I got there at 8 am and a lot of the spaces had already been taken, so if you want prime real estate, get there early! 

4 - SELF PROMOTION This sounds like a no-brainer. I brought business cards for the faculty and my portfolio review with Irene Gallo. I thought I'd sorted my work out reasonably well, but actually, my website would have been a better place to show off my work. I also wish I'd brought a physical portfolio to leave out for students and faculty to flick through, perhaps an example of finished work that was either nicely printed if I was doing digital, or one of my traditional pieces. The latter is tricky when flying. My business cards were on the pricey side so I wish I'd had some decent postcards or stickers, printed for the open studio, where folks were picking stuff up. You never know who's going to pick one up! The internet can be spotty in the building, so unless you have some 4G going on, it can be tricky to show off folios digitally. 

You might also be lucky enough to score a second portfolio review if the guests have enough time, I am so glad I could put my work in front of WotC's Jeremy Jarvis. It cheered my Saturday up no end! Make sure you check the lists when they go up and bag your second spot early. And don't puss out. 

5 - DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP I'm stubborn and British, so asking for help is the worst, but everyone there will gladly help you out if they can. Especially the assistant team, Daneen, Julia and Stephen and the 'honored easels' who've been in your situation. Take advantage of them, they are all lovely people.

And that sums it up! An amazing, tiring, exhausting, mentally demanding, inspiring, overwhelming experience that I wouldn't change for the world. I hope to repeat it in the next year or two. I count myself lucky to be part of the alumni and perhaps if you're reading this, I might see you there too. 

For the writing prompts: she was fearless and crazier than him, she was his queen. And God save anyone who dares to hurt his queen. Its from Suicide squad if u need the ref.

Thank you for the prompt!I’m sorry about how long it took to get to this, the past few weeks have been kinda chaotic. Had a scare about my hard drive failing, but to make up for it, i kinda got carried away with writing this one… I hope you like 6 pages, because oh man i got so carried away…Also, i modified the phrase a bit to suit the moment, hope you don’t mind! This is a continuation of the last prompt, and there will be a third part that covers what was really going on behind the scenes. I Hope you enjoy!

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He had thought everything was going to be alright. Sitting in the darkness of his expansive bedroom, Adrien repeated it to himself over and over and over again.

It was going to be alright.It was going to be alright.It was going to be alright

The storm was heavy, rain falling in thick sheets across the parisian sky for as far as the eye could see. Each drop made a heavy beat, conducting a natural orchestra on the rooftops and streets below. From inside his large, dark, empty room, all Adrien could hear was that rain beating on his windows, tapping away to a tune only mother nature could tell. It was maddening.He tried not to think about what he’d done, why he was sitting here in the dark. Why he felt so… disgusting. “���“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“`Only two hours earlier he had sat down for dinner with his father, a chipper and happy young man who had everything in the world. A caring if not cold father, a loving but detached partner, a class full of friends and smiling faces and a place away from this cold abode. Striding into the room, he was sure to wipe away the cheerfulness from his face before he sat down, lest his father try to pry into his business. It was a dance he’d practiced every day, every time he came to this room. After this, he would head to his room for piano lessons as was his usual routine.This was not a usual day. Adrien took his seat, and immediately his father entered the room. Something seemed off in the air surrounding the older man. He seemed… happy? Father being happy was such a foreign thing. Two years of his cold existence had wiped away any memory of what Gabriel looked like when he was genuinely happy. It seemed he was less accustomed to hiding it then Adrien was, because he realized his mistake and schooled his expression in a heartbeat. Adrien expected him to sit. Instead he stood behind the chair, setting down his papers before he cleared his throat to talk. “Adrien.” The younger blonde boy turned his full attention to his father, carefully setting his hands in his lap in the image of perfect obedience. “I wanted to discuss with you something. Would you mind if we delayed dinner for a moment?” It was almost hilarious. Adrien knew from years of experience the question was a demand thinly masked as the idea of choice. Still he would not deny his father the courtesy and nodded his consent. “Adrien… Do you… miss your mother?” The question was so tentative, as if he was stretching a foot gently out onto a frozen lake to test the strength of the ice. Was he afraid that Adrien might say no?“Ofcourse father… I think of her every day.” The question of why his father would ask such a thing laced the words, begging for an answer.An answer Gabriel quickly supplied. “So do i… I know this must seem strange to you, but hypothetically, What would you do if you had the chance to bring her home?” Hypothetical questions. Gabriel loved using those. It was a kind of trap usually. What was he looking to gain from Adrien this time? Well, it didn’t hurt to give a good answer. “I’d take it, i would think. Why?” Gabriel seemed to consider the answer carefully for a long moment. He seemed to be mulling over his words like he sometimes did, looking for just the right combination. Adrien got a chance to notice Nathalie in the doorway, a strange look on her usually expressionless face. Was she upset about something?His father’s words brought his attention back to the conversation. “Adrien, I want to confess something to you. For the past two years since your mother’s disappearance, i have been spending most of my time looking into bringing your mother home. It has been a long two years, filled with a countless hours and sleepless nights of research and meticulous planning. I am the closest i’ve ever been to finding her, but i need your help.”Adrien couldn’t comprehend the full meaning of his father’s words, but at that moment he didn’t feel the need to. His mother was close to coming home? He really did miss his mother. Oh how wonderful it would be to see her again! The house wouldn’t be so gloomy if she was here. They could put a real family portrait up again, not that dark drab forced image. Gabriel must have caught on to his enthusiasm, as he pressed on. “But before i can ask for your help, i need to make two admissions.” That did not sound good to Adrien. He gripped onto the seat in anticipation.“First, i know that you are Chat Noir.” Adrien’s heart had stopped for a tick. He knew? For how long?! The question must have broadcasted on his face because Gabriel was quick to answer. “I’ve known for a short while now. A month, give or take. But it’s not important. I’m not upset with you. Actually, i’m glad it’s you. It is wonderful world experience and does wonders for your personal image. But i digress.” Adrien felt his fingers go numb as he struggled to maintain his expressionless position. A cold feeling was settling over him. What could possibly carry behind the news of knowing his secret identity?“Now, i want you to understand, what i’m about to say is a bit… shocking, but i need you to hear me out before you say or do anything, Alright?” Gabriel seemed to genuinely care for Adrien’s response. He sounded downright worried. Adrien on the other hand wasn’t sure what to say or think anymore. He just nodded along. Gabriel breathed a small sigh. “Good. Now… Adrien, I am Hawkmoth.” Everything stopped working. Thoughts began to cram up with questions in his mouth, fighting for the chance to get into open air. He was choking as the world started to spin. Nathalie’s palm found his back, striking squarely between the shoulders to force the air out of him before he took a sharp inhale. She was trying to get him to breath and calm down, but Gabriel was just being… Gabriel. He’d stood up straight again, pinching the bridge of his nose as he took deep breaths to keep from doing or saying something incredibly hurtful. At least Nathalie was trying. But dear gods did the man seriously expect Adrien to just take this news with ease?! Was it April first? This had to be a sick joke. “Adrien, please breath normally and listen for a moment.” Gabriel commanded as he strode around the table to pull the seat out beside Adrien. He casually took the spot with the utmost dignity, as if he wasn’t the pretentious monster that terrorized Paris for two long years. “Adrien, i need you to listen to me for a moment. Do not falter now. I taught you better than that. Now, listen to me. I have made several mistakes in the last two years, but i want you to know /why/. I discovered that, through the combined powers of the Ladybug and Black Cat miraculous, it is possible to alter reality. With them, any number of things are possible, and yes, that includes bringing back someone dear. It’s a simple thing really, but i had the wrong idea in my approach. I used the Butterfly miraculous in the hopes of drawing out the other two. But i had a realization. I didn’t need to do any of this. It was all a horrible idea born from desperation and spite. I have no intentions of doing evil with the two miraculous, just getting your mother back. It’s all i’ve ever wanted.” Adrien glanced to Nathalie who now stood behind Gabriel, her expression melting to one of pity and remorse. In it he could see the truth of Gabriel’s words. The long nights awake, the weeks gone from home. The blonde boy knew how Nathalie secretly wished Gabriel would move on, but she would never voice her opinions. He returned his attention to Gabriel, who now slumped forward in his chair, looking at his hands. “Adrien… this is where i ask for your help. I don’t want to take the miraculous by force. I just want your mother back. I am willing to give up the butterfly for this. I’m not asking you to give up your miraculous, or being Chat Noir. I’m offering a solution. Lend me the black cat for a single moment so that i can wish for your mother back, and in turn i give up the butterfly. Hawkmoth slips into obscurity. Nothing will be between you and Ladybug anymore. And your mother, sweet Emilie, will be back home again. Would you be willing?”Adrien feld numb inside. This was all too much. His father was Hawkmoth? He’d been akumatizing people over the years just to bring back Emilie? Gabriel was a smart man, would he seriously stoop to such lows… He knew the answer to that. Adrien had watched his father’s rapid decline since the news had reached home. His father truly loved Emilie with all his heart, and he had always been the type to go the extra mile when it came to anything in his life, especially her. Adrien really couldn’t blame him, could he? Having jumped in front of enough akumas in the last two years to know that he and his father were a lot alike in how much they were willing to give up for the person they loved. Adrien turned his gaze back to his father. The look cast in those sullen eyes spoke of the desperation and hopefulness he had. He needed Adrien now more then ever to help him get back the woman he loved. Plagg remained strangely quiet in his pocket, as if he too was stunned into silence. Or he was just watching to see how this all played out. Adrien could not deny that this was a better alternative than to fight his own father for the miraculous. In any case, he and Ladybug would have to get the miraculous from Hawkmoth somehow. If they just let him borrow them, then everything would turn out for the better. His mother would be back, hawkmoth would be gone, Gabriel would have Emilie to counterbalance his negativity and ease up on Adrien. Without Hawkmoth, Ladybug and he were free to become friends without the occasional akuma getting in the way. Chat Noir would be a hero, he’d finally earn his father’s praise. Maybe he was crazy, but two years of akumas on and off almost every day was taxing enough. Logically, everyone won. And when had he ever known his father to lie to him like this? After All, he’d come clean about being hawkmoth. Now Adrien knew, he could tell Ladybug and Master Fu. All five of the miraculous could come here and force it out of Gabriel if he turned on his word. Adrien drew in a deep breath. “Alright… What can i do?” Gabriel seemed to light up at his response, taking a small handkerchief from his pocket to wipe away some of the tears that had threatened to stream down his usually stone cold face. “Nothing, yet. If you are willing, then i will need to go speak to Ladybug and ask her to come here so that i can borrow the miraculouses in both your presence. Hopefully, it will go as smoothly as our conversation has. If you are alright, it would be acceptable if you take your lunch to your room before you start practice. I will dine when i return.” The older man began to stand, before leaning down to wrap his arms around his son’s shoulders for a warm hug. It felt so meaningful and warm Adrien almost wanted to cry. “Thank you Adrien… I know this must be had for you. So go enjoy your lunch, and soon you can meet Ladybug without pretenses. Alright?” Adrien nodded, accepting the motion gracefully before Gabriel stepped away and removed his glasses to wipe his eyes once more. Nathalie escorted Adrien out of the room, glancing over the boy for a moment to watch Gabriel’s expression harden with eyes cast to the bottle in his hands marked with an eye and a teardrop. Adrien was ecstatic, eagerly chomping away at the mixed salad in his lap as he excitedly stalked the Ladyblog. All he could think of was how close this whole thing was coming to a close! And Ladybug! She would be here! In his house! Unmasked finally! Plagg remained quiet though, which began to niggle at Adrien’s thoughts till he sat the empty bowl beside the still full plate of Camembert cheese. “Plagg? Aren’t you excited?” He asked tentatively. Only then did it occur to him that he had failed to ask his kwami about where he sat in this whole thing. Plagg was one of the kwami involved, he had a say as well. The floating miniature black cat gave him a glance before letting out a sharp sigh. “Kid, look. That wish your father wants to make? It’s not a harmless deal. He was correct, technically. I can’t believe i actually heard all that, but he wasn’t wrong per say. A wish like that is much simpler then changing history, or wishing up an army. One person isn’t so bad… But it still has consequences. Did you even think about that?” With The kwami’s sharp and harsh gaze upon him, Adrien wilted in his seat. “No… I hadn’t. I’m sorry plagg. What kind of consequence would it have?” Plagg seemed to consider that for a moment. “Honestly… i don’t know. I don’t imagine it’ll be reality changing. What’s the saying from that show you watched? “Equivalent Exchange?” Ya. Like that. Something of equal value must be given. Gabriel may disappear for her, or maybe lose all his fortune and business. It’s hard to say. Tikki and I don’t get a say in it. We’re just the power supply.”Adrien could feel the weight of the situation settling on his shoulders, robbing him of his excitement. Did his father know this? Surely not if he was going to go to this much trouble to go through with it. “Does the butterfly kwami know?” Plagg looked a bit surprised, then sighed again. “Doubtful. Tikki and i don’t like to share details of it outside the guardians, as it can get messy if another kwami is forced to reveal anything. We didn’t even tell the guardians that much…”Anxiety and fear mounted inside Adrien’s chest. If his dad made the wish unknowingly, he could hurt himself. But he was going to get Ladybug and bring her here for the wish. That meant Adrien had a chance to explain the situation before anything happens. Maybe if they brought in Master Fu, they could find a better solution. All in all, he’d have to wait till his father came back. Nathalie knocked on the door. “Adrien, if you are done, it’s time for you to practice the Piano. I’m going to accompany your father, so your bodyguard is going to stay here with you till we get back.” Nathalie usually made sure he was doing his lessons, since he’d betrayed his father’s trust when he skipped out to go try to see the last movie his mother was in. Poor Gorilla got akumatized over that… which was a dark thought to think about. ”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”`So here Adrien was now, finished with his practice, sitting quietly as he watched the time pass. Every second since his father and Nathalie left felt like a millennia. Worry and doubt plagued his mind as he stared out into the dark skies from his room. What if things went wrong? What if Ladybug didn’t take it well? There were so many things he hadn’t thought of before now. Why had he said yes so easily?!He was supposed to be studying Chinese now, but Gorilla understood his nervousness. Still, his stoic as ever bodyguard insisted that he not indulge in frivolous activities like the computer or tv. He didn’t say it, he just made that usual growl and head shake if Adrien even tried for either. Adrien was growing restless. If Gabriel was going to meet Ladybug, he’d do so as Hawkmoth to get her attention. He’d need the media to broadcast it. There had to be something online about it…Masking any signs of his unease, Adrien politely asked Gorilla if he could use the restroom. Courtesy was still a thing after all. The guard seemed hesitant for a moment, but nodded. Adrien quickly sequestered himself into his bathroom, slipped on a pair of earbuds, and immediately took to the internet to find out what was going on.Pure Chaos. Everything was in pure chaos! Adrien mumbled as swear as Plagg flew in to look over his shoulder. Half of Paris was in chaos, people running in a silent panic as a wave of akuma swarmed about. The other miraculous users were present, doing what they could to stem the tide. Carapace was herding citizens and shielding them from hits, dozens of Rena Rouges were baiting and distracting, and Queen Bee was dancing about, hair messed up and looking royally upset about it as she took her anger out on any akuma with her spinning top. Two akumas floated over the crowds, one looked like a DJ maxed out, pumping out waves of red energy at everything below him. It must have been a noise canceling power. The one beside him was a tall woman dressed in black with a red streak in her hair. Nathalie. The camera turned to the Notre Dame, and zoomed in. There atop the North tower of the church was Ladybug, facing down Hawkmoth in a deadly dance. She was alone with his father, fighting for her life against an opponent who clearly had years of experience on her. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Chat Noir was supposed to help close the gap between them!As he watched, anger, disgust, and sadness welling up in his chest until they merged together in an unholy fire that spread through his limbs. He’d been lied to. Gabriel lied to him. Hawkmoth was assaulting Ladybug on the Notre Dame, and where was her partner? Sitting at home, twiddling his thumbs as he waited for a liar to come home!She was fearless, and crazier than him. She was his Ladybug, And no kwami was going to save anyone who dared to hurt his ladybug. Not even his own father.

A Few Clues About the Future? Thoughts After Flyers 5, Maple Leafs 4

So, the Flyers won last night, defeating the Toronto Maple Leafs in a shootout 5-4.

It allowed them to officially stave off elimination for at least one more night. Good for them. They didn’t have to bow out of the season in front of the home crowd. They gave the faithful a nice effort against a pretty good team. Good for the Flyers.

However, at this point, they would have to win their last five games, Montreal would have to lose their last five, with at least four of them coming in regulation, and Columbus would have to lose five-of-six with their lone win coming against Montreal tonight and then four of those five losses would have to come in regulation.

Or, if one of those teams doesn’t comply, Carolina would need to lose their last six games, all in regulation.

I know, I know, you know they aren’t going to make the playoffs. I just wanted to throw that out there for the Lloyd Christmases among you who will scream, “So you’re saying there is a chance?”

Additionally, it’s not worth even diving into the breakdown of the game. Here’s all you need to know on that front:

Carter Hart won his first NHL shootout by not allowing a goal.

It was the first shootout all season for Toronto, which seems impossible, but it’s true.

Sean Couturier scored the lone shootout goal. He was 2-for-20 in his career before last night.

Couturier also scored his 32nd goal of the season, a career high.

The other goals for the Flyers were scored by Travis Konecny, Radko Gudas and Ryan Hartman.

That about covers it.

But, there were a few interesting things that occurred in and around the game that I do want to talk about as they will most likely have a greater impact on the team moving forward.

1. Cam Talbot

This certainly wasn’t the most interesting or noteworthy nugget from last night, but it was definitely the first one I noticed. After riding Brian Elliott in lieu of Talbot when Hart was hurt and then also relying on Elliott as the backup for Hart while the team was still in playoff contention, the Flyers dressed Talbot in place of Elliott for the first time against Toronto.

Talbot never saw the ice after warm-ups and did his good backup goalie duty and opened and closed the bench door for players going on and coming off the ice, but I definitely found it subtly interesting that Talbot is backing up Hart now that the Flyers are switching from contending mode to evaluation mode.

With the Flyers in need of a backup goalie for Hart next season, Talbot is more likely to be re-signed than Elliott (both are unrestricted free agents). The Flyers seem to think Elliott is a slightly better goalie than Talbot – as evidenced by him being part of the push for the playoffs while Talbot was often a healthy scratch, but the Flyers value Talbot’s durability more in the future, which is why he’ll likely be re-signed to a new contract before July 1 to be the Flyers backup.

For his part, Elliott has done all he can, except stay healthy. He’s had a significant injury in each of the past two seasons after being pretty durable throughout his career before that. He has come back and played through pain in both seasons and done a fine job.

His perseverance earned him the nomination from the Philadelphia chapter of the Professional Hockey Writers Association for the NHL’s Bill Masterton Memorial Award given annually to the player in the NHL who best exemplifies the qualities of perseverance, sportsmanship and dedication to hockey.

Each city nominates one player and then a final vote among those 31 players is taken to determine the winner.

Three Flyers have won in the past Bobby Clarke (1972), Tim Kerr (1989) and Ian Laperriere (2011).

Anyway, Elliott is as sure as gone and may have played his last game as a Flyer already as I’m betting it’s Hart and Talbot the rest of the way.

2. Sam Morin

The long-awaited season debut of Flyers defensive prospect/project Sam Morin occurred against Toronto. He dressed for the game – his first NHL action in a year after a crushing knee injury. And even though he only played a short period of time – roughly eight minutes – he didn’t look bad.

A lot of fans want to see Morin as a defensive regular for this team moving forward. After all, the Flyers invested a lot of time and energy – and a high first round pick – on him back in 2013.

Morin, who was selected 11th overall in that draft, was always viewed as a long-term project with high upside, but the Flyers were hoping it wouldn’t take this long. Last night was only his sixth game at the NHL level.

That’s the second-fewest games played in the NHL of any of the first round picks from 2013. In fact, 56 players drafted in rounds 2-through-7 from that year have played more in the NHL than Morin.

Morin will turn 24 this summer and is under contract at a very affordable cap hit ($700,000) for two more seasons, so the Flyers can still be patient, but at some point, there has to be a concern that he just might not be cut out for the NHL game.

I know it’s hard to judge a guy based on six career games in the NHL, and it’s why I think he’ll be given one more shot to make this team as a bottom pair or seventh defenseman next season, but I don’t think there’s a long leash here.

Frankly, knowing the Flyers plan to be very aggressive this summer in changing the roster (more on that later) it wouldn’t surprise me if a rebuilding team would take a shot on Morin and the Flyers move him in a trade.

The Flyers are certainly going to be looking for one defenseman, maybe two, and how GM Chuck Fletcher feels about Morin will certainly play into that offseason plan.

For my money, Morin will never be more than a 6/7 defenseman at the NHL level. If the Flyers want to give him one last chance to prove otherwise, that’s fine, but expectations, at this point, are pretty low.

3. Travis Sanheim and Shayne Gostisbehere

Sanheim actually won the game for the Flyers in overtime with a goal that was waved off when referee Brian Pochmara said he blew the whistle before the puck crossed the goal line.

Um. He didn’t:

#LetsGoFlyers have a goal waived off in OT (Sanheim) because the referee blew the whistle before the puck went in. Regardless of when whistle actually went, all that matters is the 'intent to blow the whistle'. Refs got together after the call to discuss #LeafsForever pic.twitter.com/E7SHizhcsg

— Nathan Kanter (@NathanKanter11) March 28, 2019

This is the old, “intent to blow the whistle” rule which is fine if he puts the whistle to his mouth and blows right away, but as you can see, he had the whistle in place for a couple seconds before actually blowing it. Pochmara blew this one. This should have ended the game.

But, that’s all irrelevant.

The point is, Sanheim had a really good game. This coming on the heels of him telling erstwhile Flyers.com writer and HockeyBuzz Flyers analyst Bill Meltzer in an interview earlier this week that he hasn’t been at his best in the last couple weeks but that he’s a more confident player than he’s been in the past and feels he can recover from it better now than he used to do.

Last night was case in point.

The most interesting development from last night was Sanheim took all of Shayne Gostisbehere’s usual shifts in the overtime 3-on-3.

Ghost didn’t see the ice at all.

Now, Ghost had a terrible game. He had a double turnover scenario which led to a goal for the Maple Leafs and although the first Toronto goal wasn’t really his fault but rather a lack of help from weak-side winger Ryan Hartman, at first glance it looked like Ghost could have done more, but didn’t.

Needless to say, Sanheim being asked to play in a spot where Gostisbehere used to flourish, is something of note.

I asked coach Scott Gordon about it after the game:

“It just worked out with the whistles and delays that [assistant coach Rick Wilson] only went pretty much with two defenseman the whole overtime. So, Provy and Travis and he actually had Phil Myers up a couple times, but he just kept going back to those two guys they were playing well. Travis just has a great ability to get up and down the ice, obviously he’s a skilled defenseman and open ice is for those types of players it’s a great opportunity.”

The most interesting part of that quote to me is that Myers would have been the third defenseman in the rotation. Gostisbehere was nowhere to be found.

I know I took a lot of grief for suggesting right before the trade deadline that the Flyers are ready to move on from Ghost, and I felt that unless they were overwhelmed with a deal at the deadline that it would most likely take place in the offseason.

I now believe that more than ever.

The writing is on the wall. Ghost is definitely fourth in the pecking order here as far as future behind Ivan Provorov, Sanheim and Myers. And it’s no secret that the Flyers want to go get another defenseman in the offseason either by trade or free agency.

Whispers are already starting to leak out that the Flyers might go after Erik Karlsson in free agency. I’m not sure of that fit, although he is a dynamic player when fully healthy, but there are other options on defense.

The Flyers could throw an offer sheet at Winnipeg’s Jacob Trouba as the Jets have a slew of RFA’s and have to decide where they want to spend their money (Patrick Laine is also an RFA, so it could get interesting in the Great White North).

I’ve also heard that the Flyers could try and swing a deal with Minnesota for Jared Spurgeon, who has one year left on his deal. That makes sense because Fletcher knows and likes Spurgeon a ton. Would you swap Ghost for Spurgeon? I would.

Anyway you slice it, the Flyers are going to actively be looking for an upgrade on defense and no matter who that upgrade is, it would push Ghost to a third pair role. Is Ghost the kind of player you want on a third pair? Especially if guys like Sanheim and potentially Karlsson could do the same things as Ghost if not better?

The answer is no.

Sanheim’s emergence has relegated Gostisbehere to the category of expendable – yet still valuable.

It’s really a good position for the Flyers to be in, to be honest.

The Flyers will pursue help at forward too. Probably third line center and a scoring winger. And I’m told they will be aggressive in this area too.

Could Travis Konecny be on the move in a trade? I wouldn’t do it because despite his faults, he brings a certain chutzpah to the team that is lacking elsewhere. But, I’d be lying to you if I said I hadn’t heard his name come up as well.

All told, watching the Flyers over these final five games, while the results might not matter, what happens can certainly provide a few clues as to the direction this team is headed in certain spots for the offseason.

The post A Few Clues About the Future? Thoughts After Flyers 5, Maple Leafs 4 appeared first on Crossing Broad.

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New Look Sabres: GM 29 - TOR - 2.7 Seconds

I have been accused of hating the Toronto Maple Leafs more than I love the Buffalo Sabres. Really, I’m leading off with that? YES I AM; because once upon a time I thought this made up hatred with this team that hardly existed in my hockey lexicon (Yes, I only trace my Sabres fandom back to about 2011 so give me a break here) was all hype from a bygone era that never actually happened according to the actual history books. Then my hatred for the Leafs came alive in 2016. If you want that spiel go back to Preseason Game 4. No, today I want to meet that truly pretentious chirp with more relevant, contemporary thoughts. Although all the Leafs other rivals are either kicking their ass in the playoffs or in the dumpster (blink twice if you’re reading, Steve), Buffalo is now here to make life difficult for the lesser blue and white team in this division. All you Leafs fans up in your high tower have benefited from drafting on easy mode for a few years now The Sabres just caught up. Rasmus Dahlin and the New Look Sabres are coming to get you! Hell, we might even meet in the playoffs this year. Oh God have mercy upon this earth! Even I would drive up to your overpriced City for that series! AAAAAAGGGGGHHHH I AM SO READY! I came in person to this game to be at least one voice against the invasion of would-be NHL Hamilton Hockey fans at this game. It had been on my bucket list for five years and finally the day hath come! ITS TIME FOR THE TIM HORTONS RIVALRY MATCHUP!

Oh, I almost forgot: I turned on the roast but forgot to crack open the Burn Book! That’s right, forget reasonable word counts, it’s time for: Why do we hate this Atlantic Division team!? With no further ado: let’s crack open that burn book. Toronto: You pioneered cheating with the salary cap and everyone still lets you. Sure you basically pay for this junk league to exist but you’re not the center of the hockey universe no matter how many plush Auston Matthews dolls you sell! Toronto Fans seem to think we eat their trash here in Buffalo but your greatest player in decades is Made in America, baby! It’s easy to overshadow a city that is smaller in every metric but that just makes you assholes. We relish beating you and reminding you all how bad the traffic is on the bridge afterward. Original Six Stanley Cups don’t count and if you really think this is your year than maybe give Morgan Reilly some help back there. Speaking of the big dance: the only playoff battle between these two Tim Horton’s loving cities ended with the Sabres going to the Stanley Cup Final! It is almost with pity us here in Buffalo smile on this new Leafs squad: Buffalo may have no Cups yet but Toronto suffering is long having not seen a Cup Final since Gilbert Perrault was playing after-school shinny in Quebec you snooty assholes! I suppose I better stop there. I think we can agree the shit-talking has gone too far when French Canada is brought up. That said who in the US hates the Leafs more than Sabres fans? Boston? Sit down you drunkards; you can’t hate a team you beat every friggin year. Well anyway, onto the matchup.

In spite of having a positively brutal stretch of games recently (most of which the won fyi) the Sabres came out in this game with a vendetta. No penalties were called in the first while the boys in the darker blue peppered Fredrick Anderson with shots in the first. As the period dragged on there were some Leafs chances as well but Anderson really got peppered and according to the Leafs fan next to me when he’s warm he’s at his best. Linus Ullmark faced only the token efforts of what is supposedly the best offense in the Eastern Conference. There must have been a grand total of five maybe six Leafs shots that first period. It ended up really just being a great conversational period. That Leafs fan sitting next to me was actually a really nice man. He had enough kids that looked like him that they may have been the stunt doubles for the Weasley family in Harry Potter but hardly a chirp out of this dude. Apparently Kitchener, Ontario has some pretty wicked hockey.

The second period is when the temperature began to rise. 8:33 in Auston Matthews gets a charitable pass behind the net and bounces it in past Ullmark off the back of his leg. The thunderous applause of the Leafs invasion was surprised because if you watch that play it didn’t seem likely it was going in. You really can’t blame Linus on that one. It was long before I got to jump around: six minutes later that beautiful top line with Jack and Sam were on the ice and Samson Reinhart roofed it on an arch shot that probably doesn’t go in if the Leafs defenders weren’t screening Anderson. The biggest criticism of this Toronto team is always a bad D-Corps. I say the D-Corps is supposedly bad but the guy named Par Lindholm who screened Anderson is a forward evidently. He better be a decent golfer at least with a name like that. One of the other guys on the ice for that goal, Jake Gardiner, got the Leafs back on top 2-1 with a shade over ten seconds left in the second period. That goal stung a little going into the 2nd intermission but if there is any place the third period Sabres show up, it’s in third periods against the Leafs. Twitter predicted it and it came true the third period was fun.

Before that though can we talk about the officiating in this game? I am not going to go into how many times Eichel was slashed or Casey Mittelstadt being dragged down because that’s the low hanging fruit. At one point in the second period the Leafs net was off its moorings. I am no ref but I really thought it was officiating 101 that you blow the play dead when that happens. One use for the refs that was never needed weirdly enough was for a fight. Rasmus Ristolainen was tearing it up and getting shots like a frat brother in this game but he never fought which is surprising for him against the Leafs. I’ll take it. I’d rather have the Risto that shoots for the net than the Risto that shoots at Leafs faces although both are fun. 2:39 into the third frame and our sweet ginger boy Jack Eichel evened it up after a quick feed from Ristolainen. You won’t see his name on the score sheet but let me tell you Rasmus Dahlin was ludicrous in this game. He must have been responsible for half of the times the Leafs turned over the puck, especially in the second and third periods. He very nearly got a goal here in the third too. But no, it was Captain Jack again at 12:57 to put Buffalo on top. These games against the Leafs never feel totally like a home game with all Leafs fans that come into town but that goal sounded like it was just us and it was beautiful. The Sabres took the game back now, it was a rare Leafs setup in the Sabres zone that yielded the puck bouncing charitably off the boards to Patrick Marleau who evened it up. That guy is 38 now from what Leafs fans told me. If that’s true god bless the guy for still be this decent at hockey. This one went to OT where the Sabres dominated possession and once again outshot the Leafs. It was their last ditch effort with the shootout practically a formality when somehow, Auston Matthews got a pass from Kapanen and ended it. For those of us who were there it was probably the second most painful way this game could have ended right behind a regulation blowout: there were literally 2.7 seconds left in overtime. I have photographic proof of that. This game ended 4-3 Leafs and the Sabres really nearly got two points in this game but they’ll walk out with only one.

You don’t want the loser point in rivalry games like this, you want both winner points. Maybe I’m not as grumpy as I could be because all the Leafs fans around me were sober and personable. You tell me your experience of the rougher variety and I’ll be hard pressed to not see where you’re coming from. The Sabres played the better game. Nathan Beaulieu, remember the guy who fought Leafs Matt Martin and talked afterward about how much he hated the Leafs? Yea, he may be one of the most improved Sabres players this season, particularly in this game. Captain Jack played with the hate he professes for the Leafs and very nearly won the game with a hat trick a few times. He certainly played better than the other two-goal scorer in this game: his good American friend Auston Matthews but I won’t be throwing stones at a guy who’s scoring at a tad over a goal a game. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if he’s not wearing a Leafs jersey, Auston Matthews is probably my favorite non-Sabre in this league. I already talked about Rasmus Dahlin but it’s worth noting he passed Drew Doughty’s 2008 record for most time on ice for an 18 year old defenseman with 29:15 in this game. He’s still 18 and he is already dominating opponents. I really look forward to Rasmus Dahlin torturing Leafs for years to come.

Gee, this one is getting long in the teeth. The Sabres had a brutal stretch going into this game. They won most of those games and got so far ahead that if you’re going to go on a four game losing streak this is possibly the best way to do it… yea I just can’t say that with a straight face after losing with 2.7 seconds left in OT. Holy shit, I hate the Leafs. Anyway, if the team with these stats was not named the Leafs and we played this game against them this is probably the closest thing you can get to one of those non-existent moral victories considering injuries, schedule and… just how well you controlled play through this game. Linus Ullmark looked like a starter in this game and you will not change my mind! This matchup still has three games this season and maybe a playoff series. Tell me that series wouldn’t be absolutely bonkers. A series loss would sting an awful lot but if the Sabres could win in 7 and prevent this Leafs team from a series win for their third straight year… I wouldn’t know how to put that kind of pleasure into words. Like, comment and share this blog around, even if you’re Leafs fan. I get the feeling this rivalry is going to finally be the war we’ve been waiting for and if 2.7 seconds is the only thing that’s going to separate the two teams that oh holy hockey gods is it going to be fun.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Credit to Steve Dangle for the “Tim Horton’s Rivalry” moniker. He’ll probably tell you he wasn’t the originator of that title but I heard from him first so there you go.