#WHERE I LOVE TO PLAY PRETTY PRETTY DRESS UP WITH AWFUL AWFUL FAKE EVIL PEOPLE
Photo
Finished up the ref for Amaranthine!Ambroys as well! My dear awful pony, lover of intricate embroidery, destroyer of my wrist.
It was fun coming up with the brief summation of his personality on this. Like opening a thesaurus to the section titled “Words to Describe the Worst Man You’ve Ever Met.”
#...is it weird that I always have a tooth shot on these things? even for my human ocs?#oh well#I am what I am and all that#amaranthine#furry#ref sheet#ambroys#my draws#THESE REF SHEETS BETTER LAST ME A GOOD LONG WHILE FOR HOW LONG THEY TOOK. AAAAAAAAARGH.#''they would have taken less time if you didn't draw 9 different outfits'' I KNOW I KNOW I JUST HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME#WHERE I LOVE TO PLAY PRETTY PRETTY DRESS UP WITH AWFUL AWFUL FAKE EVIL PEOPLE#unicorn
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Kid!MC/Teen!MC Needs someone to go to Parent Teacher Interviews for Them and Guess Who’s Available?
Masterlist
The brothers being bad babysitters/dad figures is something I love very much, I bet you all could already tell that considering the Fic/Headcanon series I have going on. I would just like you all to know that Asmo’s section is based on a true story. Anyhoo~ onto the Headcanons!
Why? Why Him? (Lucifer)
Is MC really dumb, or are they just a kid? No one knows.
Obviously MC asked Lucifer, the only competent one in the house, the most professional, hard-working, controlled-
MC got their things together and gave Lucifer the run down on their teacher(s) before Lucifer got too absorbed in extolling his own virtues in an intense internal monologue.
News flash Lucifer, this isn’t a Shakespeare play, you can’t have a dramatic monologue or soliloquy about how great you think you are
At the actual meeting, if MC is in there, no, MC is not actually in there. Lucifer will speak to the teacher as if MC isn’t there. As someone whose not a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down kind of person, Lucifer expects the teacher to behave the same and not spare MC’s feelings.
Feelings do not deserve to be spared if MC is being a nuisance. No fake-kid/little sibling of his gets to be the class idiot!
If MC’s doing very well academically, he expects to be pointed at projects or tests they’ve done and the grade on it. It really makes him proud to see MC doing well.
Even if they’re not the best academically, if they’re not failing and they’re doing well in other aspects of school, he’s proud.
If MC really struggles in a school environment and just hates it there but they’re still keeping their head above water, they get a head pat of approval.
On the drive home, if MC came with him to the parent teacher interviews and everything went well, he just happens to turn onto the street that has a Baskin Robin’s or something of that caliber.
If they didn’t go, he picks something up on the way back.
No fun treats if MC is being a disruptive little heathen in class, no kid under Lucifer’s care is going to be the class Mammon. Not on his watch.
MC was busily stuffed their face with the treats that were gifted to them. Lucifer had to hold himself back from rolling his eyes at the kid’s blatant disregard for basic table manners when it came to sweets.
“Is everything the teacher said true?” Lucifer asked, MC looked up at him with a smile.
“Yep!”
“Good, good.” Lucifer held out his hand and patted them on the head. “You’re doing well. Keep it up.”
“Geez,” MC mumbled as they continued to stuff their face. “Can you get anymore affectionate?”
“Don’t be sarcastic, MC. It’s uncouth.” Lucifer said sternly. “Besides, I’ll have you know that many people enjoy my headpats. I’m quite affectionate.”
“Really now? Name one person.”
Lucifer opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out. He and MC stared each other down, one pair of eyes much more nervous than the other. Spoiler, MC was still calmly eating their treat as they maintained eye contact.
“…Cerberus.”
“If you’re reaching for Cerberus, you’ve already lost.”
…his pride was under attack. Right in front of his desert…
“You’re grounded.”
“Worth it.”
*Rides by on a Skateboard* School is for NERDS (Mammon)
Pff! Stupid human! He’s not goin’ to some lame parent teacher conference-
Wait! What’s with that face?! Ugh… fine. MC’s gone and forced his hand with those damn puppy dog eyes…
Mammon does not dress up for this event, he dresses like he would every day, maybe throw on some designer stuff to let all the parents and teachers know he’s hot shit.
If MC goes with him, he pulls up in his beloved car and takes up two parking spaces (pure evil.). Every parent present already hates him, but at least the other kids there are impressed with MC’s sweet ride. MC would have gained some street cred if Mammon hadn’t managed to trip up the stairs to the classroom in front of everyone.
He’ll act way to casual with the teacher, turning the parent chair backwards and sitting down so he can lean on the seat.
Mammon gets bored crazy quickly while the teacher lists and explains all the stuff the class is learning, so his eyes begin to wander to any and all displays in the classroom. Projects, annoying posters, class pet, anything is more interesting than this teacher’s explanation.
When MC finally becomes the main topic of the interview, he’s all ears. MC’s doing great in school academically? Ha! Nerd! Maybe giving MC a playful noogie and interrupting the whole interview wasn’t a good idea, but whatever.
If MC’s failing anything, or just isn’t that gifted when it comes to grades, it’s very much a “Aw man me too” from Mammon.
This teacher is speaking with the Great Mammon, the first demon in RAD’s history to fail three semesters in a row. If this teacher thinks bad grades will phase him, they’re dead wrong.
Grades don’t mean anythin’ about smarts anyway! I mean, look at him! He’s a fuckin’ genius but he can’t get through a history test without sobbing even though he LIVED THROUGH MOST OF IT.
MC gets treats no matter what’s up in class. Though, if MC didn’t go with him, he’s likely to forget and just order something for the two of them when he gets back home.
“Goddamn teachers and their rambling!” Mammon whined, grabbing a slice of pizza from the open box on his coffee table. “You owe me, MC! Ya really do!”
“Yeah yeah yeah.” MC said, they leaned over and rolled a pizza slice into a pizza-scroll then proceeded to eat it like a veggie roll. “How do you think I feel, listening to them every day? You know how long it takes to get to the actual class material?”
“Five years?”
“Ugh! Five years if I’m lucky! I swear, I know more about my teacher’s grievances with like… five of my classmates than I do about trigonometry, and guess which one’s on the test next week?”
Mammon winced in sympathy, then remembered he was supposed to be whining and went back to it. “School’s shit and a waste of money, ya should drop out as soon as you can and help me run my new business.”
“You mean your pyramid scheme?”
“It’s not a pyramid scheme, MC! It’s legit! It’s a multi-tiered marketing-”
“It’s a pyramid scheme.”
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SOCIAL INTERACTION (Leviathan)
Everyone else must have been sick or something for MC to have asked Levi. He’d flat out refuse to go otherwise.
So, Levi couldn’t exactly go to the interview in his usual “I haven’t left my room or changed clothes in eight weeks” look. With the help of MC, he was able to find his military uniform at the back of his closet.
Asmo nearly fainted when he saw Levi in the uniform, not because “oooo, a man in uniform~”, it was because the outfit was so crumpled and wrinkled that it made it physically painful to look at. No time to iron and wash, the conference was in an hour!
Levi (and MC if they went with) rolled up to the school in a less than impressive ride, but one look at the uniform and all the other people present went “yep, time to be respectful (tm)”
For the first time in his life Levi was more intimidating than Lucifer! And he wasn’t even trying!
When the teacher starts explaining the course material, Levi spaces off in horror as he realizes he remembers literally nothing from school (AND HE’S STILL IN SCHOOL!) all that’s running through his head is “A squared + B squared = C squared” and “the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell”.
The actual interview was the least interesting part of the trip, the real stuff happened when Levi passed by some art on display in the hallway and something caught his eye-
Those colours… that hair… that adorable smile..!
IT WAS HER! LEVI’S PRECIOUS RURI-CHAN IN ALL HER GLORY!
Levi immediately started fawning over the art class fanart and by sheer coincidence, one of the kids walking through the hallway happened to notice.
The kid asked MC if their… parent and or guardian liked anime. MC responded with “obviously.” Levi then asked the kid if they drew his adorable Ruri-chan. The kid said no, and that they drew the My Hero Academia fanart a few rows down.
Levi was absolutely floored that there were two anime fans in one class, then his entire world shattered when MC explained there was more anime art inside the art room and other classrooms.
H-hang on… did that mean that… a lot of people here… liked anime..?
Levi needed a while to process. No snacks on the way home…
Levi and MC were sat in the back of their Uber, Levi, the Avatar of Envy himself, was having his entire sense of reality warped. S-so much anime fanart… in a school of all places..! What did this mean for the future of anime?!
“Levi. Stop.” MC sighed. “If this were an anime, the camera angle would be doing that thing where it’s right on the bridge of your nose and dramatic music plays in the background.”
“S-so many kids in your class like a-anime huh..?” Levi stuttered, weakly trying to smile. “Must be nice..?”
“Oh, that’s just my class. The other classes and grades have their fans too.”
“Oh… really?”
“Levi,” MC stopped looking out the window and looked at the otaku that was having a full scale silent mental breakdown. “Anime isn’t even a niche interest anymore. It’s a pretty casual thing to watch now. At least a third of my class watches- Levi?”
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH! ANIME! A THIRD OF THE CLASS?! ANIME… HIS PRECIOUS ANIME… WAS BECOMING A NORMIE INTEREST! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
“Levi?” MC waved their hand in front of their spaced out demon’s face. “Leviiiii? Okay he’s dead.”
The Know it All (Satan)
Ah, a smart choice, MC. Satan would be glad to help further their education. He’ll do everything in his power to make sure that the human’s brain is fed all that sweet sweet knowledge.
Satan can’t dress himself normally, MC had to coax him into a suit jacket, but he still only wore one sleeve.
MC was coming along to the interviews whether they wanted to or not, it’s important to hear what they need to improve on from the teacher themselves after all.
The two arrived pretty early, so Satan asked MC for a tour of the school. It was pretty tame until they reached the library. Satan was horrified at the state of some of the books…
Their spines lined with duct tape… pages missing and torn… someone apparently used a taco as a book mark…
The first thing Satan does when it’s time for his interview is demand the teacher take better care of the library, even though they’re not the librarian. MC tries to explain this, but Satan is too distraught to listen to reason.
He enjoyed hearing about the course material, but he made it known if MC thinks the assignments are too easy that they need to be given more challenging work. THEIR BRAIN NEEDS TO BE STIMULATED DAMN IT.
It was up to MC to either agree with Satan and nod to the teacher, or make frantic eye contact with them to try and communicate “NO DON’T PLEASE”.
Similar to (ugh) Lucifer, as long as MC is doing their best, he’s happy for them.
…but if they are in any way in the running for valedictorian he is HELPING THEM WIN.
He decided to stop at a cafe or bookstore to let MC pick out a “congrats on surviving your pitiful school” present after the interviews.
MC gleefully perused the shelves of the bookstore, there were so many books too look at…
“I’ll buy you as many books as you’d like, MC, just,” Satan shuddered slightly. “Promise me you won’t treat them like those poor library books…”
MC put their hand over their heart. “I swear on the duct taped book spines that I will never treat a book like that.”
“Good… good…” Satan breathed a sigh of relief and went back to looking at his book about cats.
“Are you… reading a Warrior Cats book..?” MC asked tentatively.
“Yes, why?”
“Satan, put that back.”
“I Will Seduce the Teacher For the Sake of Your Grades, Don’t Worry.” (Asmodeus)
Oh MC dear! He’d be delighted to go! Just let him get ready~
Asmo may not be the best choice, but he was at least going to be the best dressed person at that conference. (And MC just had to come too so all the other parents could be jealous of how well coordinated their outfits are)
He teased MC a little by saying he was going to flirt with their teacher to make sure they passed the class, but he was just kidding! …but he made sure to ask if their teacher was cute, he needed to know!
While waiting for his turn, Asmo flirts with some of the single parents, if he doesn’t see a wedding ring, they’re fair game.
Once his time slot arrived, MC realized that Asmo is one of those “my child has done and will do nothing wrong ever” types. This may have ended up working in MC’s favour if they were a class nuisance.
If MC is doing very well in sports, clubs, grades, anything, Asmo is fawning over them and gushing to the teacher about how great, smart and adorable they are.
Asmo surprisingly does not exactly flirt with the teacher, he was just teasing MC after all. But um… if MC’s teacher just happens to be cute and young, he may turn up the charm, just a little. Enough to make the teacher giggle and make MC cover their face in embarrassment.
After the interviews Asmo will probably schedule a nice day out for the two of them, shopping, a movie, mani pedis, something fun!
The real weird stuff happens in the months after the interviews… if Asmo did lightly flirt with the teacher, MC gets quite a few questions about their guardian. Questions that ask if Asmo is single in not as many words…
Oh lord, MC’s teacher developed a crush on Asmo.
Nail painting night was supposed to be a fun occasion, but MC was hopping mad and embarrassed. Asmo didn’t seem to notice as he continued to paint the little human’s nails.
“And then I told Phenex to get lost. The nerve of that little monster, right MC?” When MC didn’t reply, Asmo looked up and tilted his head. “MC?”
MC’s angry face would have been much more threatening if they weren’t just so adorable, but it was getting the message across.
“MC..?”
“Asmo.” MC’s glare deepened. “My teacher wants to know if you’re single.”
Asmo blinked a few times, before he hit his tongue to keep from laughing. “Really now~. I knew they’d be madly in love with me-”
“WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIIIIIIIIIIIS?!”
Oh My Demon King is That a BAKE SALE?! (Beel)
Of course Beel said yes! He’d gladly go to MC’s parent teacher interview!
He even put on a nice outfit :D he ended up looking a bit like a secret serviceman guarding MC, the tiny president.
Beel stopped for McDonald’s on the way there, all the other kids were so jealous of MC when they stepped out of the car eating fries.
But a little something something caught Beel’s eye when he and MC walked into the school… was that a… bake sale?
MC quickly explained that the bake sale was fundraiser for their class trip that year and the snacks weren’t complimentary. He had to pay.
And pay Beel did. He cleared out the entire table. MC’s grade’s overnight trip was going to be decadent as hell. That was no longer a crowd funded thing, that trip was privately funded by a tall buff ginger secret service member and this tiny in comparison child.
Kids are incredibly blunt, just like Beel, so when a random kindergarten kid wandered over, looked up at Beel, and very knowingly said “you’re very tall”. Beel was like “yeah”. The kid then said “what’s it like being that tall?”
Beel’s response to this kid’s question was to pick them up and hold them for a few seconds before placing them back down. For just a few moments this kid knew what it like to be over 6’4. Of course, more kids swarmed in and asked to be picked up.
Sure it was cute, but Beel now has an army of kids ranging from kindergarteners to third graders.
Finally, the conference actually began. Beel snacked the entire time and dutifully listened to everything the teacher had to say.
After the interviews are over, he checks with MC to make sure everything the teacher said was true and that they weren’t lying. If all was well, the two made their exit.
They stopped at Wendy’s on the way home.
“I’m so full…” MC groaned, Beel held up a massive cookie.
“So I can eat this?”
“No. Gimme that.” MC took a very defeated bite out of it. “My stomach says no but my mouth says yes…”
“I don’t want you to get a stomachache, MC,” Beel said worriedly. “No more snacks.”
“It’s a little late for that. It’s past nine and I’m still eating, there’s no way I’m getting to sleep at a reasonable hour.”
“Oh…” Beel mumbled. “I may have not completely thought this through.”
“*Snore* Huh? Wha? MC’s Grades? Uh… Fuck…” (Belphie)
MC must be failing a class or something because why on earth would they pick Belphie otherwise.
They ask him to go while he’s delirious from just waking up from a nap, he sort of half nods and mumbles some gibberish before going back to sleep.
MC had to basically carry his ass to the school. Belphie drooled all over them in the waiting room, and when it was their time to go into the interview, Belphie had to be manually put into the chair and slapped awake.
He barely listens, he just sits and nods along with whatever the teacher is saying. The teacher could say MC brought an alligator to school and he’d just go “uh huh…” “mmmph… yep…” “really now?” then yawn.
The only thing that could possibly get Belphie to be interested is if MC is studying space. If they are, than boy howdy is Belphie suddenly interested in their education.
Other than that? *snore*
If MC is in fact failing or doing poorly, MC’s teacher asks to see another one of MC’s guardians at a later date. Their plan failed miserably.
MC drags Belphie out of the school and yells at him for not helping them. Belphie, still sleep delirious, tries to press the snooze button. MC does not have a snooze button.
“Belphie!” MC shouted, shaking the Avatar of Sloth awake. The House of Lamentation’s resident bastard was somehow sleeping standing up outside. “HOW COULD YOU?!”
“Eh?” Belphie half-snorted and looked around confused. “What’d I do? Where are we?”
“At my school! You said that you’d go to my parent teacher interviews!”
“…MC I don’t think I’d pass well for you.”
“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GO AS MY GUARDIAN!”
“Sheesh,” Belphie murmured while he rubbed the remaining sleep from his eyes. “You humans are so noisy.”
MC looked up at their dearest demon friend, and gave him their best glare. “I’m going to take all your fancy temperature changing pillows and switch them with normal pillows you traitorous bastard.”
#obey me#obey me!#obey me! shall we date?#obey me shall we date#obey me headcanons#obey me! headcanons#Obey me Lucifer#Obey me! Lucifer#OM! Lucifer#Obey me Mammon#Obey me! Mammon#om! Mammon#Obey me Leviathan#Obey me! Leviathan#om! Leviathan#Obey me Satan#Obey me! Satan#OM! Satan#Obey me Asmodeus#Obey me! Asmodeus#Om! Asmodeus#Obey me Beelzebub#Obey me! Beelzebub#Om! Beelzebub#Obey me Belphegor#Obey me! Belphegor#Om! Belphegor#Obey me MC#Obey me! MC
801 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fool for you
a/n: eye- y’all wanting a part 2? cause i have it planned lol x
it gets much more interesting i promise oml...the enemies arc really do be one of my faves tho
word count: 3.15k
warning: swearing
She couldn’t believe how much shit that stupid kiss had landed her in. Her head was clouded, arms crossed over her chest as she stared down at her lap, trying not to grumble. Not only her own manager was sat in the room, but 5 seconds of summer’s too, along with their bassist, one of the people she hated most, Calum Hood.
“We have seen how everyone reacted to the speculation,” The woman in front of her started, legs pressed together with a large binder sitting on her lap, hands folded gently on top. Normally Y/N got on quite well with her manager, Caroline, but right now she wanted to scream due to the words coming out of the woman’s mouth, “You’ve been gaining popularity from it, Y/N. This could be a great way for you to gain more of a following.”
Y/N had dreamed of the day she started to trend on Twitter, but this was not what she wanted to be trending for. She wasn’t trending for her music, not even her newest single. No, she was trending because everyone thought she was Calum Hood’s girlfriend.
Speaking of the boy, he sat beside her, keeping quietly to himself. This had to have been the first time that he had ever been in her presence where he hadn’t been annoying the shit out of her. Must be because his manager is in here. He had already been approached about it and seemed sold on the idea.
An idea of them being in a fake relationship.
Her, with Calum Hood. She wanted to scoff at the thought. He was unbearable at best, constantly annoying her to the point where she wanted to rip her hair out. When she had first been asked to be the opening act for 5 Seconds of Summer’s tour she had been ecstatic. The boys were nice, welcoming her onto their tour with open arms. Honestly, Y/N got on with all of them, apart from Calum. From the moment he set eyes on her he seemed determined to do anything and everything in his power to piss her off, slowly waiting until she finally lost her cool and lashed out. It was frustrating, especially considering Y/N knew she couldn’t do much about it.
Now, not only did she have to put up with Calum normally, but they wanted her to get close with him. To be in a fake relationship, which, obviously, meant spending more time with him.
“So, of course, you guys will have to be seen out in public with one another every so often so we were thinking you guys get ‘caught’ kissing my paps again, then we’re thinking dropping hints,” Ink began to get scribbled across a piece of paper, writing out a messy and brief plan which Y/N didn’t even want to look at, “Possibly y/n being caught wearing Calum’s shirt...We aren’t entirely sure yet but we will make sure to keep you updated. Do either of you have any questions?”
Despite the question seeming like it was for both of them, it was directed at Y/N, and she knew that. PR stunts and fake dating amongst celebrities were never unheard of, but she never thought she would be getting into one herself, not now and definitely not with Calum, “I do, actually. What’s in it for him exactly?”
The question was asked towards the two managers, y/n honestly didn’t want to even look at Calum right now. He probably wanted to do this simply to annoy her because he knew that he was the bane of her existence, but y/n just hoped that he wouldn’t get even more annoying, despite knowing he definitely would take advantage of the situation.
“Publicity,” His manager stated simply, nodding his head slightly in her direction. Y/n didn’t know what else to say, and they all were enveloped in a very uncomfortable silence before Caroline let out a sigh, snapping her folder shut.
“Well if that’s all,” She stood up, making y/n’s eyes travel up to her as she began to walk away, “We will leave you two be.”
With that, the two managers left without another word, shutting the door behind them. Y/n and Calum sat in awkward silence for a few moments, y/n’s eyes set firmly in the door before she stood up, going towards the door before Calum caught onto her hand.
“Where are you going?”
“Away,” Y/n huffed, tugging her hand away from the boy’s grip as she glared down at his hand. He awkwardly pulled his hand back, putting his hands down in his lap, “Going to get my last few hours of peace before we have to start this PR stunt.”
“Aw y/n/n, not wanna spend time with me, huh?” Calum teased, making her roll her eyes. He was already annoying her and he had barely spoken three sentences to her; something he had a special gift for.
“No, not really,” He gave her a fake pout before a smirk rose to his lips, making her roll her eyes.
Calum was acting as if she would actually enjoy his company. The same Calum Hood that woke her up by pouring a bucket of water on her that morning. Freezing cold water. Dickhead.
“Why are you doing this? Like why are you actually doing this?” She asked suddenly, making Calum meet her gaze with those brown eyes of his.
He shrugged, averting his gaze for a moment before speaking, “Publicity. It might not get us any more listeners but it’ll get people talkin’.”
They fell into an uncomfortable silence before y/n nodded her head, “Fair enough. I’m gonna get going. Bye.”
And with that, y/n left the room.
Both y/n and Calum were walking together, hand in hand after a lovely ‘date’ together. It, honestly, was nothing short of awkward. Honestly, they didn’t know what to talk about with one another when they weren’t fighting; something that they became painfully aware of on their trip out that evening.
Calum, despite normally being reserved and quiet in public, actually took the lead in the conversation. Mostly because y/n didn’t know what to say and they knew that they couldn’t sit in silence, especially if someone noticed them and noticed that they didn’t even talk to one another.
It was the first PR date that had been set up, only three days after their meeting discussing the start of their fake relationship. Y/n couldn’t lie, she was incredibly nervous and uncomfortable, her white dress doing nothing to protect her from the cold air nipping at her skin.
As instructed, she was holding onto Calum’s arm, one wrapped around and intertwined with his bicep and the other one clasping their hands together. It’s a strange and awkward movement to uphold, especially when walking but they do it nonetheless.
“Calum, stop going so fast, I can’t keep up properly,” Y/n muttered to him quietly, almost tripping over her own feet when she felt herself getting tugged yet again due to her hold on Calum.
His eyes briefly flicked back to her, “I can’t really help it, y/n. I’m already going as slow as I can.”
“Well sorry I don’t have legs like the BFG like you, I’m trying not to fall ‘cause you keep tugging at me. This dress was not a good move for this,” She grumbled quietly again and Calum doesn’t even reply. Instead, he started walking even faster, “Calum! Slow down!”
She was pulled into a lane by Calum by the time she had finished that sentence, his hands on either side of her arms holding her in place. His broad shoulders are obstructing her from being able to see out of the small alleyway but before she could ask why he did that, he’s shushing her quietly and whispering, “Saw the paps. They saw me, too. It’s time.”
God, he made it sound so dramatic. It wasn’t like they were fighting off any evil spirit or villain, all they had to do was get caught kissing by the paps. It didn’t seem like it was going to be a particularly difficult job, just one they had to execute properly, and right now everything was going pretty smoothly. They just had to make sure that it looked authentic and like they actually wanted to do it.
He let out a breath he was holding as he looked down at her, asking her silently for permission to start as his fingers went around the back of her neck, thumb resting on her cheek. She nodded her head and he began to lean in, y/n standing on her tip-toes with her arms splayed over Calum’s shoulders woth him bending down and pressing his lips on hers.
They kissed for several moments, taking little breaks in between. No tongue was a rule they had decided on so instead they stuck to closed mouth. On the last peck shared between the two of them, Calum gently pulled away, y/n’s bottom lip trapped between his lips before her feet hit the ground, their lips now completely disconnected.
She, discretely, tried to peek around Calum to see the paps, but couldn’t, so instead, they stayed in that position for a little while longer. Her eyes glanced up at Calum, seeing him still staring down at her, she whispered, “What?”
“Nothing,” He dismissed, shaking his head hesitantly before he took a small step back before putting his hand out for y/n to grab onto. She shot him a smile as she laced their fingers together, tugging him along and out of the alley.
The games had begun.
It’s only about a week later when y/n was doing her washing as normal in some hotel’s launderette. She had been off of social media for the past few days, paying no mind to the several thousand people talking about her and Calum's 'relationship’. It surely had blown up, and some might say more than they had expected it to. Y/n had accumulated thousands of more followers after the whole fiasco and although she wouldn’t admit it, she enjoyed seeing the fan theories.
Calum had actually been a lot nicer to her recently, something she hadn’t expected, but enjoyed very much. A smile is on her face as she thought about the lack of pranks that he had been playing on her, and sure, he was still irritating her but it was simply with his words. He walked her down to the launderette, before turning to get his own load of dark clothes.
Surprisingly, despite having rather heavy music, y/n owned quite a lot of white clothes. Sure, she mostly wore black, but right now she was washing her white clothes. Well, what were her white clothes...
Now? They’re pink.
She took the wet fabric out of the washer, noticing one of her favorite white dresses is now dyed an ugly pink, one that she knows she won’t pull off. Her eyebrows are furrowed, a frown settling on her face as she tried to pull the clothes out, trying to find the root cause of the problem.
That’s when she found it. A red sock; Calum’s red sock.
Suddenly everything seemed to make sense as to why he was being so nice to her; so he could pull another prank on her when she least expected it. That’s why he had waited behind once she left the launderette, that’s why he seemed so interested in her white, now pink, clothes that she apparently ‘hadn’t washed in a while and should definitely wash’.
“Calum!” She screamed out in anger, glad for the lack of other people in the small room, clenching her fists around the wet, pink clothes in her hand. They’re all ruined, inconsistent blotches of different shades of pinks coating the fabrics.
It was only seconds later when Calum popped his head up in confusion, “Yeah?”
Except, Y/n didn’t reply, and instead trained her e/c eyes onto his brown ones with a firm glare, one filled with frustration and anger. He, however, hadn’t seen her glare just yet as he surveyed the room before he catches onto her crouched-down figure. She watched as they trailed down to the pink clothes in her hand and he struggles to fight a grin off of his face.
“Thought you were doin’ a white load, y/n/n?” His voice had snide amusement in it and it only made y/n even madder.
However, before she replied, she grabbed onto the red sock of his and threw it at his head, letting out a complaint that sounds more like a whine, “You’ve ruined my favorite dress, asshole!”
“Woah calm down sweetheart, don’t be rude to your boyfriend,” Calum teased, walking around to where y/n was sat, reaching down to ruffle her hair. She quickly swatted his hand away with a grumble.
“Fake. Fake boyfriend, Hood.”
Calum simply rolled his eyes in reply, waving her off, “Yeah, yeah whatever. Enjoy your pink clothes.”
It was only a week later when management is rushing them to take nice pictures together and becoming Instagram official. Theories are still burning in the air, especially after they were ‘caught’ by paps, kissing, for a second time. Everyone knew something was going on, that much was obvious, but they wanted to hear it from them.
They snapped pictures off stage, the last one being of Calum’s arm over y/n’s shoulder, holding her close to his body with her lips placed on his cheek. Her eyes are closed upon instruction, and he has a bright smile on his face, looking straight at the camera. The photos they snapped were quickly looked over before they’re approved to post on Instagram.
Y/n doesn’t know what to say, and in fact, she’s finding it hard to breathe. It was only fifteen minutes before she had to go on stage for their next concert, and this was the most nervous she had felt in ages. What if she gets hate? What if the whole fandom hated her? She knew that most likely some fangirls would be jealous, that was perfectly understandable, she just hoped no one went far enough to send her tons of hate; especially considering it was fake.
Y/n didn’t like this situation any more than they did but there was nothing she could do about it. Watching over Calum’s shoulder, she saw him press post, and she felt like she couldn’t even breathe. She felt like the air was being restricted from her lungs, and she can’t even bring herself to opening her phone to see people freaking out over the announcement of their ‘relationship’.
“Well, that’s that.” Calum looked at her over his shoulder, letting out a soft sigh as his brown eyes wrack over her face. She’s pale, and she didn’t even seem to hear his as he talked, making his eyebrows furrow in confusion, “Y/n? You good there?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” She dismissed quickly, taking a step away from him, wringing her hands awkwardly. She’s nodding her head, but her eyes are firmly set on the ground now and Calum knows that she’s nervous. Sure, the two weren’t close and Calum took enjoyment in annoying her, but he was surprisingly good at telling how she was feeling simply from her body movements.
He hesitated, lips parting as he thought of what to say as he stared at the smaller girl who looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her whole, but after a few moments, his lips snapped shut. He wasn’t good at consoling, especially not her. And even if he did want to try, what could he possibly say?
This situation wasn’t ideal for her. Sure, it got her publicity, but he knew it wasn’t the type that she wanted. She hadn’t been fully introduced to the famous lifestyle yet, articles written about her, fan accounts, everything so he knew this was going to be hard for her. It took him a while to adjust to the lifestyle, and sure things like paps were still uncomfortable but they weren’t scary anymore.
As he stared at her, a frown prominent on his lips, he studied her. He noticed how awkward and uncomfortable she had become from the moment that he had posted the photo, almost as if she was awaiting an attack. He knew it was scary, the paps, the fangirls, and he also knew that this abrupt change in lifestyle from this moment on was going to be difficult for her; so he would make it easier.
He would answer the questions, take the heat about the relationship. He would protect her from all of the nasty comments as best as he could because no one deserved to be flung into the lifestyle like she was being right now, despite wanting publicity. This was a whole new life starting for her from the moment he posted the picture and as he nodded his head discretely, it was like a deal had been sealed with himself.
He was going to help her through this, even if she still hated him.
It was three hours after the show had taken place and she still hadn’t turned her phone back on yet. She felt sick to her stomach, staring at her phone almost as if it was taunting her; itching for her to open Instagram but at the same time, wanting her to stay far, far away from the app.
Yet, soon enough she found herself booting up her phone and going onto Instagram, almost immediately finding Calum’s photo. She clicked on the comments and was pleasantly surprised. People were actually being supportive.
“omg look at them!!!”
“THEY LOOK SO GOOD TOGETHER WTF”
“I want someone to look at me the way Cal looks at Y/n”
That last one made her smile. She knew exactly what picture they were referencing. The one where y/n has her back to the camera in Calum’s embrace, and he’s staring down at her with a smile, arms wrapped around her, pulling her flush against his chest. She remembered her face buried deep into Calum’s shirt, surprised that the makeup she was wearing didn’t rub off on the material.
She was subconsciously shaking her head as she pulled her knees to her chest, resting her chin on top of them. She flicked back up to the pictures, almost analyzing the way Calum stared down at her. The fan was right, Calum looked at her with so much “love” in his eyes, a look that y/n had never seen on Calum before.
It was crazy. If y/n didn’t know any better she would think that Calum actually was in love with her but the only thing he loved about her, was how annoyed he could get her. Calum was certainly a good actor, looking at her like she was the sun and he was the revolving planets; like the only girl in the entire universe. Well, at least if Calum got bored of music he could go into acting.
They already had everyone fooled, and they were just getting started...
#calum hood#calum 5 seconds of summer#calum 5sauce#5sauce#5sos#5sos blurbs#5sos x reader#5sos x y/n#calum 5sos#calum hood x you#calum hood x reader#calum hood x y/n#calum thomas hood#5sos x you#5 seconds of summer x reader
187 notes
·
View notes
Text
Merry Christmas, high-warlock-of-brooklyn!
For @high-warlock-of-brooklyn.
Betas: Accal1a, Myulalie
Read On AO3
*****
Bedtime
“Papa, tell me again please,” Max asked, not willing to go to sleep yet.
Magnus sighed. Getting his younger son to sleep had been a fight each and every night recently. The eight-year old just didn’t want to go to bed. They all paid dearly for it, starting with Alec and Magnus, who had to tell the same bedtime story over and over again and ending with Rafael, who had to endure the same bedtime story over and over again. It took out a good chunk out of Rafael’s playtime, before he had to go to bed, too.
The latter voiced his displeasure about that rather vocally. “Max, not that again, even I know it by heart now and I want to play with Papa. Stop being such a baby and just go to sleep.”
Magnus could feel the familiar tension behind his temple, signalling an oncoming headache, and rubbed his forehead. He wouldn’t want to give up his kids for the world, but sometimes he wished they were someone else’s problem.
“Prove it, Rafe! If you can tell me the story, like Papa always does, then I’ll never ask for it again!”
“Okay.” Rafael’s answer came promptly, even before Magnus had a chance to interject or calm them down.
Hands were shaken and deals were made.
This was how they all found themselves scattered around Max’s bed, with Max peeking out of the night sky blue sheets already dressed in his fluffy seelie onesie. Rafael was sitting next to him on the mattress with one arm around Max’s shoulders and a face that could’ve curdled milk. Magnus and Alec were sitting on the floor next to the bed.
Alec, who had joined the rest of the family on Max’s insistence so that Alec could “correct the mistakes in Rafael’s story” would act as judge.
Rafael took a deep breath and started to tell the version of the story he’d much prefer to hear every evening. “So, one day Papa was dancing in his club and then he spotted Dad,” Rafael was pointing towards his parents, “and when Dad’s sibling annoyed Papa and he wanted to make a portal home, he couldn’t anymore.” Rafael said dismissively and continued with a very bored tone and an exasperated sigh, “and then boom,” Raphael mimed a very unenthusiastic explosion with his hands, “Dad had Papa’s magic and Papa could suddenly bear runes. Then they fell in love. The end. Can you go to sleep now?”
As expected, Max started to complain. “This is not how the story goes. Papa tells it much better.”
Alec sulked a little bit. “And what about me, Blueberry?”
Max’s cheeks flushed purple before he reached out with his hand and patted Alec’s head with childish clumsiness, tugging on Alec’s hair a bit. “Sorry Daddy, but Papa makes the better sparkles. You have other good qualities.”
Alec chuckled.
“You make better pancakes.”
Magnus fake-gasped, insulted. “I thought you liked my pancakes!”
Before Max could reply, Rafael cut in, clearly annoyed with the whole situation. “Papa, can you please tell the story already, so that we can play? You promised me!”
“Alright then, little Angel. Let’s see... where do I start?” Magnus wrapped his arm around Alec’s shoulder, who leaned in to the touch instantly, getting comfortable on the hard floor.
“Back when Valentine and his goons still threatened to upset the careful balance in the Shadow World, I used to offer refuge to every stray warlock who needed it.” Magnus made a gesture with his free hand, casting a shimmering, blue picture above the bed of a crowded room, all warlocks with their marks out. Max tried to touch someone’s horns in the projection but was only met with thin air. Like always.
“We were hiding away, but that was never a reason not to enjoy life.” Magnus looked at the projection a bit forlornly, clearly deep in thought. Alec knew Magnus was thinking about the warlocks that died that night and squeezed the hand on his shoulder reassuringly.
“The shadowhunters from the Institute needed our help with the summoning of a demon, so they had to come up with a plan. We were hiding very well and meeting up with me was not easy,” Magnus continued wistfully, playing with his ear cuff.
“Auntie Clary and Uncle Jace, right Papa?” Max interjected, barely louder than a whisper.
Alec hummed in affirmation. “They wanted to lure your Papa out and used something that used to be very precious to him.”
Magnus squinted at Alec. “Oi! I am telling the story. If you don’t stop, I’ll be the only pancake maker in the future.”
Alec sighed and kissed Magnus’ neck. “Go on then, Mr. Storyteller.”
Magnus pouted a bit before continuing. “Well they contacted me via firemessage, and to be honest, it was more curiosity than anything else that made me go to Pandemonium that night. I had a bit of fun showing two of Valentine’s goons the door; and then Auntie Clary and Uncle Jace approached me. I couldn’t give them what they wanted, so I made a portal home. Unfortunately, I must have missed one of Valentine’s goons and he wanted to attack me.”
Max gasped loudly, clutching the blanket tight to his body.
“Max you know what happens, stop acting so scared.” Rafael grumbled next to him and hit the back of his head against the headboard in frustration, but he still laid his arm around Max.
Magnus cleared his throat pointedly before continuing. “Your Dad was a vision that evening. All black and grumpy and very serious. He shot down the evil man that was about to attack me from what must have been 200 feet.” With a snip of his fingers Magnus let the scene happen on Max’s bed.
“Magnus, it was barely 60 feet.” Alec interjected.
Magnus chose to ignore him. “I could feel the arrow whir past my ear before it hit its mark.” Blue magic coiled together into the shape of said arrow and flew past Max’s ear, making his eyes grow big in awe, when he felt the same drag of air behind Magnus’ magic at his ear that his Papa must’ve felt that night.
“And then I turned around and saw him for the first time, but he didn’t even give me a second glance.” Magnus pouted a bit. “To think that I was so distracted by him, I didn’t even notice that my portal had crumbled to nothingness.”
Another gasp from Max, excited this time. “What happened next?”
Rafe rolled his eyes as his only answer, as if he wanted to say Can you believe this guy? Getting excited over the same old story, that he has heard a thousand times.
“When I tried to step through the non-existent portal, I collided with your Dad instead. I almost fell, because I was so surprised not to be in my loft.”
“But he caught you, right?”
“Yes Max, he caught me,” Magnus mused, “I think that was a good omen since your father has always caught me from there on.”
“You’re such a sap Magnus.”
“Only for you, sayang.”
Rafael had definitely had enough. “You two are so gross. Don’t start kissing please, Max and I really don’t need to see this. Or hear this. Can you please go back to just telling the story?”
Magnus chuckled. “Alright, let’s see where was I? Ahh yes, so your Dad steadied me with his shadowhunter reflexes and the moment he touched me there was this spark, and I knew who he was. Well I didn’t know he was Alexander Lightwood, but I knew he was it for me.”
The magic hovering over Max’s blankets took on a slightly purplish hue as Magnus remembered. “Alexander was really remarkable that evening.”
“First of all, I’m always remarkable,” Alex joked, “and second, that spark that you felt was more like me electrocuting you with your own powers, over which I had no control.”
Magnus stared at him in disbelief. “Alexander, how dare you belittle that moment for me? And this is the second time you’ve interrupted me. I am telling the story and you are making pancakes in the morning, so if I say there was a spark, then there was a spark, so stop telling the children lies about our magical first meeting.”
Completely oblivious to his parent’s banter Max asked another question.
“Why did you have Papa’s magic, Daddy?”
“Oh come on! You know all this already, Max. Why do you need to hear it every evening?” Rafael said, clearly frustrated. He just wanted to play with his father already.
Max shot him a dirty look - as dirty as an eight-year old's look could get. “Just because you don’t like to hear it doesn’t mean I can’t like it either. Why are you even still here if it’s bothering you so much?”
That shut Rafael up, and once the boys had settled comfortably under the blanket again, Magnus resumed manipulating the cloud of magic.
“Alexander got access to my magic because he is my soulmate, Blueberry.” The blue cloud took the shape of a person, almost as tall as the skyscrapers surrounding them. There were even shadows of wings cast against Max’s bedroom wall.
Magnus smiled at Alec happily, showing his teeth. “The angel Castiel, the first soulmate, once had his chance at love ripped away as his true love was silenced by the outer realms.” While Magnus spoke a second, smaller, human shape appeared and dissolved again, leaving the winged shadow alone between skyscrapers, with one arm outstretched. “The angel mourned his loss greatly for a long time until he didn’t anymore.” The magical person’s posture changed, determination clear in the stride of their legs and flutter of their wings.
“You see, Castiel and his siblings loved to rile each other up, and so he decided to try his luck with their children, no matter if it was his heavenly or fallen siblings. He wanted to give the children a chance he never had himself so he created soulbonds.” The picture Magnus was projecting changed again, this time it was a pretty perfect replica of Times Square floating over Max’s bed. There were a lot of faceless people, connected by the blue strings of Magnus’ magic, creating an intricate web made out of bonds.
“He didn’t really create them though,” Rafael interjected. “He just amplified them and made them into something tangible.”
“You too now Rafe? I can’t believe my storytelling is undermined by not one but two smarty-pants.” Magnus growled playfully.
“He’s right Magnus. An angel doesn’t have the power to create something like that, even more so if he doesn’t have his full grace, which we know he didn’t.”
“Well if you know it so much better, why don’t you two continue then?” Magnus retorted, pouting. The magic scene on Max’s bed flickered a bit.
“Alright then.” Alec clapped his hands. “Let’s see, so Castiel strengthened the bonds so much with his leftover grace, that they manifested in many different forms. Some mundanes with the sight can even see the lines and follow them, but that’s incredibly rare.”
“Thomas says he knows some girl who can see the bonds,” Rafael supplied helpfully.
“Maybe she can help him find his soulmate one day.” Alec suggested. “It’s a big advantage to have some help, as to not get surprised by a random stranger stealing your talents, especially as a shadowhunter.”
“Or a warlock.” Max chimed in. “Go on now, Daddy.”
“With your father and I, as with most of the shadow world, our powers got switched. It is said that Castiel wanted to force the mated pairs to spend as much time together as possible in order to learn from each other how to get your power back.”
“Because he didn’t get to spend enough time with his, right?”
“That’s correct Blueberry, though many speculate that he still found a way and they are happy together now. The switching of powers is a great way to ensure a good relationship between the different factions of the shadow world, since the mates are required to work together closely. It’s also the reason why the shadowhunter weapon range is so limited and we mainly use swords. I still remember how mad Mom was at me for picking up the bow. I swear I can still hear it sometimes.”
Alec chuckled quietly and then spoke in a very high voice, that didn’t resemble Maryse’s at all, “I can’t believe you did this Alexander! What will the Clave think? Your soulmate will have to go through intensive training until you two can go out to missions again or risk being a liability to the whole squad. This is a disaster.”
Alec’s fake tirade was interrupted by Max giggling. “Grandma doesn’t sound like that at all!”
“I think I hit it spot on. Luckily it didn’t matter at all in the end. No amount of shadowhunter training could have prepared me for the strength necessary to keep your Papa’s magic at bay.”
“What is that supposed to mean, Alexander?”
“It means that I am very glad to have you in my life.”
Rafael moaned. “They are doing it again! Stop flirting. It’s disgusting.”
Magnus shot Rafael a dirty glance and then gave Alec a small peck on the lips before sticking his tongue out at his older son.
“How did you get your magic back, Papa?” Max asked completely unfazed.
Magnus started fiddling with his ear cuff and gazed at his children solemnly. “Through hard work, through opening myself up to another person, and through the most exhausting training sessions I’ve ever had to endure.” In a very audible stage whisper he added, “let me tell you one thing Blueberry, those shadowhunters are crazy.” Magnus twirled his index finger next to his temple. “Completely loco.”
“Hey!”
Magnus looked between his indignant husband and son. “What? You two know that I’m right. And Max knows it, too. Right Max?”
“Absolutely Papa!”
Their smug expressions vanished instantly once Alec descended upon Magnus, and Rafael upon Max in order to tickle them.
“You better take that back.” Alec growled and nipped at Magnus’ lips playfully.
“Or what?” Magnus challenged him.
“Or else I’ll zap you.” Alec let blue magic swirl around the tips of his finger, like sparks of electricity. “I might not be as powerful as you but maybe I have to remind you that we share our powers now. I can still electrocute you six ways to Sunday.”
Before Magnus could answer with a witty comeback, a loud shriek from Max made them look up. The little warlock had tears in his eyes from being tickled so harshly by his brother, and his face was so flushed it was almost completely purple. Rafael was leaning over him, his relentless fingers still making Max squirm and wiggle in the hopes of escaping him.
“Rafael, I think he got the message.” Alec chuckled. “You did, right Blueberry?”
Rafael stopped his attack momentarily and peered down at Max, who gasped for air. “I don’t think shadowhunters are crazy.” And then just a little bit quieter. “Not all the way.”
Before anything else could happen Magnus shooed Rafael and Alec out of the room and tucked Max in. “Do you think you can sleep now?”
Max nodded happily.
Magnus turned around one last time before turning the lights off when the question came.
“Papa?”
“What is it Max?”
“Do you think I will find my soulmate?” The timid, scared tone almost broke Magnus’ heart and he sat down on the edge of the bed, stroking Max’s hair gently.
“I can’t guarantee you that Max, but I know that if you meet them, they will be very lucky to have you. It may take some years. I mean, I waited four centuries for mine and had almost given up hope, but in the end it was worth it. For now, all you can do is wait for them and in the meantime enjoy your life.”
Max looked at him for a long time. “I hope my soulmate is like Daddy.”
Magnus smiled. “No matter who they will be, they will be it for you.” He pressed a kiss to Max’s hair and stood up.
“Goodnight, Papa.”
“Goodnight, Blueberry.”
---
Later that night, when Rafael had gone to bed as well, Alec and Magnus laid in bed together. Alec caressed Magnus’ pec, where he could see their soulmark over Magnus’ heart from where his head was pillowed on Magnus’ arm. He can still remember the moment it had appeared. The moment he had gotten his bow skills back and had lost a good chunk of Magnus’ magic. The moment it became clear that they would have eternity together. In that very moment it had been so clear and he’d been so full of love.
“What are you thinking about, sayang?”
“How much I love you.”
“You’ll turn a boy’s head with those words Alexander.”
“I don’t need to do that anymore. You’re mine already; and I’m yours.” With those words Alec kissed the arrow flying through a flaming portal on Magnus’ chest.
“Till death do us part.”
19 notes
·
View notes
Conversation
RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 1 "Pilot" & Ep 2 "Hell Week"(Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)
Something really bad happened.
Did you just get your period all over yourself?
This isn't my blood.
Who told you you could have a baby here tonight?
I'm sure I can walk if I can just get some Gatorade.
I don't care if you can walk.
How are we supposed to get you to the front door without everyone seeing you all gross and postpartum?
No one wants to see that at a party.
This is super embarrassing.
I didn't even know I was pregnant.
You guys, they're playing "Waterfalls."
Is that a baby? Amazing.
I am not missing "Waterfalls" for this. "Waterfalls" is my jam.
Give the baby some mojito to quiet it down.
How do you know she's dead?
These are my minions. I don't know their names. I don't want to know their names.
I have a colonic at 10
Life is a class system.
Oh, still a lot of puke to scrub.
Yeah, you have an amazing skill at telling people what they need to hear.
I'm sorry. Did I ask you to pull down my panties and blow a compliment up my butt?
I hate sororities, and I hate you.
First of all, I'm not a lesbian.
You see, out in the real world, people just don't talk that way to other people. It's not normal.
Well, that sure sounds suspicious.
No one forced that goat to get as drunk as it got.
Historically, short people are sneaky backstabbers, like Napoleon or Paul Shaffer.
I could actually handle that you're built like a Thai ladyboy, but what I can't stand is that you think you're my heir apparent.
Don't you want me to spray-tan you?
I would honestly rather not have you around.
The police still can't figure out who filled that tank with hydrochloric acid.
It's good enough for me, and the D.A., who, last I heard, considers the case closed.
What is that skirt?
Your organization might want to find a lawyer.
I'm a pretty smart cookie.
I would not get personal with me, sweetheart.
I don't fight fair.
I am sentimental.
Look, girls are vicious, okay?
I don't have any of my own memories.
Just like we planned. Three-second silent hug, and then you leave.
Ooh, somebody call CSI, because there was a murder scene in that bathroom.
Someone puked in the sink and I'm pretty sure I saw an actual ringworm climbing up the wall. I'm not afraid of anything, but that bathroom scared the crap out of me.
This is gonna be a year of infinite possibilities.
Hold this. It's too heavy.
You didn't knock!
Look at them. They're the dregs of society.
Each one of these gashes is worse than the next.
She smells like hot dog water, and probably sprained her neck giving blumpkins down at the local bowling alley.
Look, I'm not saying that all heterosexual sex is rape. I'm saying all heterosexual sex is gross, and that deep down, every woman knows this.
All that girl's after is a whole lot of bikini burger.
Hey, girl, can I just ask you, what's up with your outfit?
God knows what they're talking about, basic bitches.
What fresh hell is this?
I need you to stay popular, 'cause if you want to stay at the top of the list of the pieces of ass I'm getting, there's criteria. And the criteria is you got to be popular.
Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, because I'm getting really pissed off.
Stop fake crying.
Anyone you dated would be popular. I mean, they would be popular because they're dating you.
My ego, it's super strong, ok, but it's not strong enough that I can just go around dating garbage people.
Like, yes, I could find a random girl who wasn't popular, and, yes, if I started dating her she would then become popular.
But you said you loved me.
I do sort of love you.
I would love you a lot more if other people loved you, too.
Okay, I need you to leave because you're bumming me out
We're just trying to have a nice day hitting golf balls at hippies.
Pretty girls, like you and me.
That's why I'm gonna burn your face off.
Ugh! You burned the milk!
Next time, I get you fired, or worse.
Actually, I just want a regular coffee. Those white girl pumpkin spice lattes annoy me.
I like to think of myself, uh, as an investigative reporter.
I had to get a restraining order.
I tend to get a bit passionate about things.
Look, you intentionally led me on.
You kept acting like you liked me just so you could humiliate me.
Enter, ye who dare.
I love a creepy collage.
It's about kicking the living crap out of someone when they disrespect you.
I was just in your room, where I noticed you have a sizeable shrine with evil burning candles, photos of me with my face scratched out and pairs of my stolen panties.
How about I just drown you in it?
Well, of course she's dead! You just burned her face off!
You don't die from getting your face burned off.
There's a dead woman in your kitchen.
I'm going to the authorities.
That's not how I saw it. And my witnesses agree.
You're an awful person.
Who wants cocktails?
How did my life turn into this?
Have you seen the way girls dress on this campus?
I'm sitting in the same office I used to throw bricks into.
You're awful in bed. Are you aware?
I'm gonna take a pair of your panties.
I'm gonna barf on your face unless you get out of here.
Try to figure out who gave you such disgusting mommy issues.
You loaded a dead body into a freezer.
What are you proposing?
I want to help you with your exposé, secretly feed you info.
You need eyes on the inside.
I don't know what to do with the body.
Are you saying dead bodies don't turn you on?
You are so lame, you know that?
God, I love all that death stuff.
Show me the body.
Show me the dead body.
This blood oath will ensure solidarity among us. We are all related now.
I just Googled "blood oath" and this is what came up.
What does this oath even mean?
I just need you all to not say anything about what happened, and I figured a blood oath was cheaper than buying you all presents.
Wait, what about STDs?
Idiot, you don't get STDs from blood oaths.
You get STDs from dirty toilet seats and drinking the water in Mexico.
Um, "STD" stands for "sexually transmitted disease," which means that it's transmitted sexually.
When were you in Mexico?
You know what, forget the blood oath.
I can't stay silent!
I'm calling my mom, and I'm going home.
Okay, Pissy Spacek, you and I have a few differences we need to iron out.
I want you to be one of my minions.
It's the gateway to the top of the heap.
You put on a good front, but you're miserable.
Don't you think any of that has anything to do with the fact that you've created an atmosphere based solely on negativity and raw ambition?
Can we talk for real for a second, please?
I mean, you're so confident without being mean. What antidepressants are you on?
Don't you see that all that's happened isn't a crisis? It's an opportunity.
Yeah, no, I tried. See, I really tried. But all of this flowery, peace-on-Earth crap, it makes me want to puke.
You haven't even seen half of what I'm capable of!
Totally spit in your coffee, bitch.
I don't mean to be a contrarian, but I'm enjoying this.
Is that killer noises or am I hallucinating?
I'm gonna ask one more time, will you speak up?
What can you tell us about the murder?
There's an exodus right now.
The risks are real, but we need to close ranks.
I don't feel comfortable with a man protecting me. It's representative of the patriarchal, post-colonial culture that encourages violence against women.
We buy a pig and feed it the body. Pigs will eat anything.
Don't go skating on those poop lagoons, because if you fall in, you'll drown in the poop and come springtime, there'll be nothing left of your body.
Here's what you should do. Pulverize her teeth, burn off her fingerprints, and disfigure her face. Once her body is unrecognizable, we can create an incision on her inner thigh and drain out all of her bodily fluids. That'll give us more time to deconstruct the body.
Truly grinding down a body takes a lot of work. You need a really good food processor, and you run the risk of fouling the plumbing, which is why you should only do it if you know how to clear out meat and bones from a drain pipe.
I'm willing to help in any way possible.
You're obviously a psychopath and those ideas are insane!
Why are you trying to terrify us?
Can I call you Mom?
I feel so loved and protected by all of you.
Actually, it's a new pop culture trend where young women desperately in need of role models call other girls they look up to Mom.
I thought you'd be cool with it.
I mean, I did just give you several ways to dispose of a body.
Okay, fine. Just stop talking.
You are so friggin' creepy!
Someone just mowed off a deaf girl's head in our backyard.
I mean, as you can see, I'm not licensed to carry a sidearm.
Wait, so you don't have a gun?
I have pepper spray. And I have a walkie talkie that I can use to call the police, who do have guns.
What good are you?
Get the hell out of there. Run away, real fast.
Now, I would give you my number, but my cell phone is off right now.
If you want the place clean, maybe you shouldn't have burned the maid's face off.
Don't you wonder what's in there?
People have been whispering about that house for years, that it's haunted, that something really bad happened. I mean, there's no way there isn't some real-life story behind it, right?
I'm gonna have to break in.
I mean, I don't think anyone's gonna get killed in the 30 minutes we make out, right?
Can you stop talking?
You're kind of ruining whatever was good about it.
Please try to understand the situation I'm in.
I don't give a rat's ass about your job.
You know, I find good parenting incredibly attractive.
You're a snoopy little bugger.
Whose bloody clothes are those?
Supposedly, it was a super fun party.
We're all gonna pay for this.
I think it's all crap. Just a myth.
What happened to the baby?
Sometimes I picture myself like Derek Jeter, you know?
I'm gonna choke you out.
There's a serial killer on the loose.
Please don't say you want to choke me.
I'd love having sex with your corpse.
I'm sorry. This isn't working for me.
Well, I sort of am your boyfriend, and I'm protecting you by having sex with you.
No! I don't need a man to protect me.
How could I have wasted this much time?
Is my self-esteem really that low?
I'm sorry. I think we need to take a break.
I need you to leave right now!
You know, it would really help me feel better if I could just crawl into bed with you for a few minutes.
Are you gonna touch my wiener, or you gonna leave my wiener alone?
I'll leave your wiener alone.
Where are your hands?
He has a huge boner!
Why don't you go in there and ogle his big old boner?
Okay, uh, first of all, I'm not gonna go ogle his big old boner, because I'm not gay.
Look, I'm sorry everybody wants to have sex with me. Okay? I can't help that.
I'm hot. Everybody wants to get with this. Women, men, animals in the zoo, plants, probably.
You're gonna have to go right now, 'cause I am breaking up with you.
Excuse me, I broke up with you!
I regretted what I said, and I just wanted to come here and tell you that I am so sorry.
Well, I accept your apology. And now I'm breaking up with you.
Do you know why I'm breaking up with you?
You can't deal with how hot I am.
Sorry, I just broke up with you.
Can you please put some clothes on?
Um, they said, uh, I shouldn't be alone, you know, in case I fall asleep and die.
Can I just get you a robe or something though?
So you're saying I'm the killer?
Okay, this isn't about me thinking you're boyfriend material.
God, I was so gonna go to third base with you tonight, too.
What if we stapled their earlobes?
Private like the parts on a man you like putting in your mouth?
I want to publicly come out as gay on my own.
I mean, you guys have to accept everybody, right?
I actually think that's illegal.
I will come after you, do you understand that? I will destroy you.
I trust you'll consider my offer.
Name one bad thing that ever happened at a Best Buy parking lot.
You're just, like, super attractive.
Um, well, I was trying to be inconspicuous.
It's better than losing your life.
I have a thing for playlists.
Someone's got a poo belly.
Sweet Yeezus, I don't even know where to begin with you.
Bitch, I'm about to smack you so hard, your tampon's gonna pop out.
I heard screaming.
So you think the serial killer is still up there?
Upstairs to get the killer before he gets away!
You just said that you think the killer is up there, and that's where you want to go?
This is freakin' terrifying!
The killer is in the house! You hear me?
I need my damn inhaler.
What, am I supposed to be scared?
Don't even come out. We plan on getting drunk, and I don't want your bad attitude ruining it.
We're headed down to White Stallion to pick up some sluts, baby!
Yes, okay, I burned her slightly, but stop saying that I killed her.
That was a tragic accident.
I am a kind and devoted and loving friend to all.
I'm not some crazed psychopath.
Maybe you're the killer.
I will not be put on trial.
The truth is we don't know who the killer is, and, yes, I suppose it could be someone in this room.
You want to go first?
I banged, like, 50 chicks.
What took you so long?
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
So, we all agree Sailor Moon is a big time gamer girl right?
Like, she collects the gaming manuals and the character figurines. Plays mostly PC and stans Nintendo and leans into the retro games pretty hard. And all her gaming accontrement matches the pink cat ear headphones. On an average day you'll find her in a cute dress, but it's highlighted by the glow of a computer screen and hitched up near ro her hips because "it's just comfortable that way Mamo-chan! I don't know why!"
Often because she's pretty. Because she's blonde. Because she's easily distracted. Because she dresses cute. People (men and teenage boys) think she's a fake gamer girl.
And. Oh. OH. Fourth best to cuddling with her boyfriend and cat simultaneously, kicking ass and spreading justice with her squad, or beating a high score at the local arcade (all tied for first) is making gamer boys suck it.
Cons have been flooded with the frustrated tears she's induced. She's caused riots that she flounces away from like a sprite on a moonbeam. Once, with Mamo-chan's help, she convinced a guy with deep pockets and shallow brain matter to buy her a glittery pink Nintendo switch. Because it was so pretty! And she was so sad! Her boyfriend just broke-up with her in front of everyone! How sweet and how vulnerable and how grateful she was that he had appeared to save her and show her around!!
Ten seconds after the purchase was completed and Usagi had the bag on hand, Mamo-Chan had circled back and asked casually if she wanted to get back together.
Today's Con proved no less productive.
As often happened, vendors took Mamo-chan for the gamer and Usagi as his cute little girlfriend. Half of that is true. Usagi was big enough to admit she was damn adorable. Usually it worked in their favor. Usagi got to view the merch without having someone trying to convince her to buy and Mamo-chan got to practice his calm bedside manner on people who clearly wanted the attention.
Sometime before lunch a vendor caught her ire. Hanger might have been a component. Cons were long and tiring and she'd run out of the trail mix Mamo-chan had packed for her two hours ago. (Okay, she'd picked out the last of the chocolate and dried fruit pieces. Leaving the disgusting nuts to be tossed away later.)
"Aw, you're a such a great girl for letting your boyfriend drag you around a Con."
Usagi is a great girl. The best girl. The many people she saves on the regular all agree. But coming from a grown man with a greasy ponytail and an MLP t-shirt depicting Rainbow Dash hog-tied by Apple Jack? Gross.
"I'm dragging him around actually. And yes. He is great."
"Oh!" For a brief, naive moment, Usagi takes the surprised smile as a sign that the guy isn't as terrible as originally thought. Oh how badly good things end. "Well, I hope he's showing you all the good stuff!"
How is it that an evil space queen can hear her from across an entire artic shelf, but this guy can't hear from two feet away?
Usagi shoots Mamo-chan a look that tells him that she's about to drag him into some shit. His responding look asks her to make it short. He's hungry too.
"Mamo-chan, how about you tell him what you thought the difference is between play station and x-box?"
"He'll laugh. They always laugh."
"Because it's hilarious. Now tell him."
Mamo-chan sighs. He'll do it. Because he loves his reincarnated-goddess-girlfriend-soulmate. so. goddamn. much. That and the glint in her eyes says she's two seconds away from moon-smiting the guy. And he is not down to hear her excuses of, "he was clearly evil! He was sucking all the joy out of the room! And those prices!" all afternoon.
"I thought the play station was the store where you bought x-boxes."
The man indeed laughs, an awkward chuckle that indicates the implosion going on to his world-view.
"It. It's okay man, everyone's gotta start off somewhere!"
A response Usagi knows she wouldn't have received to admitting the same mistake. Mamo-chan makes a grab for her purse before she can reach for her wand. Smart.
"His best friend literally owns an arcade and he thought a joy-stick was a type of popsicle! I asked him once to disconnect my controller and he took the batteries out of the tv remote! We play Smash Bros and he picks Little Mac! You have the audacity to think he's showing me, ME around? When you're selling stolen art prints for a 200% mark-up, which I can tell because of the damn watermark you forgot to clean up! At least he's-" she points very proudly to her boyfriend "-going to be a doctor! He's going to contribute to society! You're a talentless worm surviving off the insecurities and discomfort of people who- Hey! Mamo-chan! Put me down! I was just getting started!!"
Her boyfriend heaves her over his shoulder. With a pout she resigns to her fate and parts with the vendor with a glare.
Mamo-chan buys her a milkshake and french fries. After a few sips and half the fries disappear the world feels a whole lot better.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to make you sound dumb. You know besides Ami, you're the smartest person I know."
He smiles at her, soft and understanding and she feels incredibly lucky. "I know. After we're done eating we can go back and you can keep yelling at him if you want."
"Really?!"
He nods and Usagi nearly sends her milkshake to the floor to lunge across the table to kiss him.
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dramatic Opera Adaptation
You’ve seen Disaster Wedding, now get ready for...Mittlefrank Opera Company’s production of the grand love story!
“Mittlefrank Opera Company Presents, the epic love story, Dance of The Fell Stars! An epic story of how his Highness King Dimitri Alexendre Blaiddyd fell in love with Byleth Eisner, the mysterious mercenary that would become a professor at Garreg Mach!”
Sylvain is the first to hear of this production. He doesn’t know how it happened so fast, or way, but it was enviable a play/opera would be written about the war. Still, he didn’t expect the Dimitri marrying teach to be the first rendition. He laughs all the way back home and immediately pins a letter to EVERYONE. He is GOING to see this show no matter what.
Dimitri dies a little on the inside when he sees the flyer Sylvain oh-so-helpfully included in the letter. He spends a good couple of minutes just staring at the wall, hoping this is a trick. It’s not, and Sylvain is going to see it. He’s doomed. He can already hear the mockery. Sylvain will NEVER let this go.
Dimitri is ready to throw the flyer into the fire and jump off the roof of his own castle just to avoid going to the play. It’s too late though, all the Blue Lions know. He can feel it. And something tells him this is just the beginning.
He is absolutely right. Everyone is planning to go. Everyone. “It’ll be fun!” Annette’s letter says, “I haven’t seen you all in a bit! We should meet up!”
“I’ve always wanted to see an Opera.” Mercedes concludes, “And maybe I’ll be in it!”
Ashe thinks it’s a wonderful reason to meet up, and he loves stories, and he’s interested to see what they get right. Felix doesn’t say it, but Dimitri knows he’ll go just so he can mock him. And, suddenly, everyone is class is going because Ingrid agrees she wants to meet up and see what they do too.
Dimitri could honestly die.
Byleth, of course, is curious. They’ve never actually been to an opera, besides knowing Manuela and Dorathea, which doesn’t really count. And they’re always willing to meet up with the Blue Lions for a reunion.
Dimitri knows he’s doomed before his beloved is even half way through the letter. Dedue, a sympathetic soul, pats him on the shoulder. Dimitri can only sigh mournfully and pin a letter to order reservations for the class.
...the turnout is worse than he feared...
The Opera Company made no secret of how excited they were that THE KING HIMSELF and his beloved were coming to see the production of their story with all their friends. Hundreds are here, maybe even thousands. And, oh no, is that the Golden Deer house? Please no. Oh Goddess, is that Claude? Dimitri thought he’d left Fodlan.
Oh Goddess, all their classmates are here and dressed in their best jewelry and clothes. Is that Ingrid wearing make-up? Is that ALOIS? Is Seteth here with Flayn? Oh no, everyone he knows is here. Why is Byleth’s Gatekeeper friend here? No, please, not you too Gustav, you and your wife are too reasonable to be here.
Alas, this isn’t a nightmare, everyone came to watch this.
The inside of the theater is packed (and oh dear goddess he killed Edelgard here), but he and Byleth are given the best seat in the house, and all his classmates/friends are given priority seats. He can see the stage perfectly. He isn’t going to miss anything. Dimitri despairs.
The show is more awful than he imagined.
It’s also terribly inaccurate while also sticking to an accurate timeline and getting some things waaaaaaay too close to home.
Manuela comes out wearing a green wig and Rhea’s old clothes and begins the thing. Dimitri lost any hope right then and there.
Somehow, Byleth is the child of both Jeralt and Rhea in a secret affair that he swears has someone weeping. There’s a tragic love song about being ripped apart by expectation, and Rhea being a mother forced to give up her lover and her child while Jeralt fakes his death and runs off. He SWEARS he hears Leonie crying.
He has to blank his mind during the evens of Duscar. But, luckily, after that things get right to him enrolling in school. But one the way he, Claude, and an obviously evil Edelgard meet Byleth. Dorathea (assuming she either defected or survived and has no bad feelings) comes out in her own costume playing Byleth, and it’s love at first sight, and somehow they’re already at their first love song? He’s so embarrassed.
Is Alois crying now? What?
Then there’s a whole plot about their tragic secret feelings because Byleth is his teacher, and he’s a student, and it’s forbidden, just like Jeralt and Rhea. By now Dimitri is starting to get a terrible feeling. Also, Jeralt and Rhea have a song about lost years gone by and not getting to see your child grow up that he swears gets a sniffle out of Seteth and Flayn.
Everything is so dramatic. Somehow Byleth has a lot of very dramatic lines, and so does he, and the scene where she’s blessed by the goddess is somehow so over the top that he has to blink dumbly at it, and Dorathea!Byleth gives a long speech about being holy, and why is she floating? Is...is she going to be suspended in air for that whole song? Why are all the other characters just staring dumbly?
They play up the forbidden love, and add several stolen kisses that never happened, and somehow they knew a little too much about the goddess tower. Oh, and they somehow knew about Claude being Byleth’s first dance at the ball and played that up as well, romantic rival. He swears he can hear Claude and Hilda giggling.
There’s a few conversations that seem like the actually happened, like when Byleth smiled, or...wait a moment...
He’s going to kill whatever traitor has spying on him and been feeding these people information. How do they even remember all of this? It doesn’t matter, they’re going to die. Or muck stables. Whichever he feels like by the time this show is over.
The scene where Garreg Mach is invaded gets horrifyingly accurate with his devastated reaction to Byleth’s seeming death. His character is frantically searching while fighting off soldiers, only to give a devastating cry and beat his fists into the ground when he realizes Byleth is gone. It’s...very close to what happened, and he hopes no one thinks that actually happened, but the sniffles around him say otherwise.
His character has a song about missing Byleth and how all the stars seem to dim without them.
Luckily, they skip the five years of war.
But that just means the reunion song is here.
It’s the most awful thing he’s ever heard. It’s...also pretty close to home. There are people crying, but still awful to watch such an over the top dramatic version of their reunion.
His character singing about feeling like a ghost unworthy of Byleth’s light, and how they haunt him, hits hard.
The rest of the play is so over the top it’s absurd, and there has to be ten more songs just between here and the epic climax with Edelgard. The whole theater must be weeping, and Dimitri wants to go home.
Unfortunately, as they’re finishing the love song, and the curtain is closing and the cast is bowing and he’s about to run away, the Opera Company spotlights him, drawing everyone’s attention. They thank him and Byleth and everyone else for coming, and hope they enjoyed it, and he’s so mortified, and people are clapping, and he’s so fucking embarrassed.
Claude and Sylvain waste NO time mocking him with over the top and sappy lines from the play. It’s totally the worst class reunion ever.
P.S. Claude and Annette were the traitors that both conspired to write the play with Manuela.
#fe3h#byleth eisner#Dimileth#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#dimitri x byleth#sylvain jose gautier#Blue Lions#Blue Lion Route#claude von reigen#Manuela#Dramatic Opera Adaptation#disaster blue lions#Someone save them
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
A Very Merry Christmas
Fandom: Mr. Love Queen’s Choice
Pairing: Lucien x Reader
Warning: NSFW
This is a Secret Santa story for @mythiica Merry Christmas! 🎄🎁
"You want me to wear this?" You hold up a red lace corset trimmed in faux white fur. "I'm not sure that you've been good enough to deserve it. I only rewards good boys."
"Oh, I've been good," he pulls you up against the length of his body. "Last night you were telling me exactly how good I am. ‘Yes Lucien. Keep stroking it right there. Fuck, that feels amazing’ Did I dream it or was it some other woman who was moaning and screaming her pleasure in my bed." His eyes sparkle with mischief.
"It had better not have been another woman," you frown as you nip his ear, one hand stealing down between your bodies to cup him. "You're mine."
He's hard and eager; you stroke the length of him through the fine fabric of his trousers. You had been out at the annual Christmas benefit for the children's hospital.
You looked beautiful tonight in your silver blue sheath dress. Your hair was gathered up in an artful pile on the top of your head. A few tendrils have been left free to tumble down and accentuate the graceful column of your neck. He wants to nibble at the vulnerable skin just below your ear, you always moan when he flicks his tongue over just that spot.
"I'm definitely yours," he affirms. "So maybe you should reward me for all that good behavior tonight. I was a model of restraint despite your attempts to lead me astray you wicked woman."
"Me?" You protest with fake innocence.
"Yes, it was definitely you. You had your hand between my legs under the table. I don't know how you managed to carry on a conversation the whole time as if nothing was going on. Teasing me like that, I wanted to push you up on the table and fuck you right there."
"Poor Lucien. Were you having a problem with your control?" You smirk at the memory. "Are you saying that you can't handle it?"
"I'm saying that you were driving me crazy and there was nothing I could do about it because we were surrounded by three hundred other people. But now we're alone and I'm calling in the debt. You owe me _______."
"Oh, do I?" Heat fills your eyes. "I'm not sure that I do."
"Put it on," his voice is a low rumble.
"What will you give me if I do?" You challenge him.
"I'll give you the best night of your life."
His words stir dark passions. Your pupils dilate at the promise, deep black pools of desire. Without a further word you turn on unsteady legs and walk into the bathroom, the red lingerie clutched firmly in your hand.
You unzip your dress and let it fall in a heap at your feet. A quick flick undoes the front clasp and your black lace bra joins the dress on the floor. The corset slides over your head and you pull it down into place.
Your reflected image in the mirror shows red half-cups barely covering your breasts, the fur tickling your already stiff nipples. The long garters hang over the tops of your thighs, no stockings tonight but the effect is still sexy with your black thong peeking through the straps. The fit is perfect, but that's not too surprising given how well he knows your body.
You reach up to pull the pins from your hair. He's going to cum when he sees you, you look like a playboy fantasy and you know it. With one last look at your reflection you go in search of the man who's responsible for it.
He's already in bed by the time you walk back into the bedroom. His chest is bare and the sheets are pulled up to his waist. The look that comes over his face when he sees you is priceless; a mixture of lust, adoration and primitive possession. “______," that's all he whispers but it sums it up completely.
You lean back against the door frame, letting him look his fill. The arch of your back presses your breasts even higher so that they threaten to spill out of the red lace. He can hardly believe his luck. No matter how many times you’ve shared his bed it can still surprise him that this gorgeous creature wants him.
"Merry Christmas Lucien. So, how do you like your present?" You ask him as if it was even a question.
"I love it."
You smile as you stalk towards him, there's a sense of power that comes from knowing exactly what you do to him. "I'm glad you like the packaging but you know that presents are meant to be unwrapped." You trail your hand down the valley between your breasts, fingers skimming over your stomach and coming to rest on your waist, your thumb hooking under the elastic of your thong. "Do you want to unwrap me Lucien?” You’re standing right in front of him now, close enough for him to reach out and touch all that creamy skin.
"Oh god yes, and I've got a present for you as well," his mouth curves into a cheeky grin, his eyes crinkling with humor as he deliberately looks down at his erection.
"I think I have a pretty good idea of what it might be," you slip your hand under the blanket and flip it back. The sight that is revealed causes you to dissolve into a fit of giggles. It's what you expected and at the same time it's not. Tears of mirth stream as you clutch your belly to control the laughter. "I can't believe that you wrapped it!"
His erection stands up eagerly; a very pretty red bow is tied neatly at the base with a sprig of mistletoe attached.
"Well it is Christmas, so I thought we should get into the spirit of it."
"It’s very like you to do something like this," you grin at him. "Does this mean that you want me to kiss it?" You flick the mistletoe.
His eyes widen at the offer, he hadn't intended the greenery to be a suggestion but if you’re offering then he'll take it. His girlfriend has an amazing mouth, wicked and knowing. The thought of you going down on him, using that tongue over the plump head and swallowing his shaft into your wet mouth is enough to make him weak in anticipation.
"Yes," his voice barely a whisper and he coughs before trying again. "Yes please. I want you to suck me off," he says in a lower, manlier tone.
You throw a leg over so that you’re straddling him; your mouth consumes his in one deep kiss before you start moving south. There are stops along the way. A pause to flick at his nipples, a wet circling around his navel with your tongue, and a playful nip of his abs before you finally hone into the most sensitive area.
Your fingers lightly touch him as you undo the ribbon; the barely there pressure is torture. He wants you to take a firmer grip but you pull back when he tries to grab your hand.
"Nuh-uh. We're going to do this my way," you shake a finger at him. "Hands by your head and keep them there."
You’re going to rip his control to shreds, tease and torment him until he goes mad. He can tell by the gleam in your eyes and the grin on your face. It might be more than he can take and it's going to be sooo worth it.
"Ok," he grips the pillow under his head with both hands. "Do your worst."
Your evil chuckle forces warm puffs of air over his straining cock as you hover just above him. "Relax Lucien, I promise I'll be gentle with you." True to your word the first lick is a feathery caress around the tip, he can feel his cock throbbing with each pass of that wet tongue. One hand is wrapped around the base of his cock while your other hand plays with his sensitive balls.
You open wider, letting him go as deeply as you can take him. He's too long to swallow fully, barely more than half way in before you feel him hitting the back of your throat. Your warm hand tightens around the rest of the shaft, it gives the illusion that he's fully encased in the wet heat of your mouth.
He has to fight to stop his natural inclination to buck his hips, especially when you start sucking. The way your mouth grips his cock feels so good. Your head bobs up and down as you milk the length of him. The wet suckling sounds that you make are as much of a turn-on as the feel of your lips around his cock.
You’re amazing. You’re mind-blowing. You’re a goddess.
"_____, I'm so close. I'm going to cum," Lucien warns you. He wants to spill his seed inside your mouth but he leaves the decision up to you.
You make a small sound to acknowledge that you’ve heard him but you don’t slow down or stop. You can tell exactly how close he is by the way his muscles are all tensed under you. Your mouth works even harder, creating a stronger pull as your tongue caresses him and he can't hold back any longer.
The first spurt fills your mouth with a salty taste, it's musky and heady and uniquely Lucien. You swallow, lapping up every last drop and staying with him right until the end. You let him go with a final lick; his softening cock falls to rest against his thigh. When you lift your head to look up at him there's a look of awe on his face. "That was amazing ______."
"Good. I'm glad you enjoyed it," you smile.
As if to prove his point he wraps his arms around you and with one deft move he's flipped you over and reversed your positions. Lucien braces himself on his elbows as he looks down at you. You’re still wearing the lingerie and he decides to leave it on you. The hints of skin that show through are as erotic as if you were totally nude.
"Where to start?" he murmurs as if he were contemplating his options. "Maybe here." His hand pulls down one cup just enough to expose the stiff tip of a breast. It's achingly sensitive and you can feel yourself get wetter as his mouth latches on and his tongue plays with the nipple. His mouth works in a rhythmic sucking motion, mimicking your earlier actions on his cock. Did it feel as good for him then as it does for you now?
The way that he's playing with your breast pulls something tight inside of you. You squirm, unable to keep still because of the pressure building between your legs. One hand is massaging his scalp, encouraging his ongoing attention as your other hand snakes down so that you can finger yourself. You only get one flick in before his hand is pulling yours away, frustrating you before you can get any real friction going.
"No, it's my turn now. We're going to do this my way," he echoes your earlier statement.
You glare at him, it's not as much fun being on this end of the teasing. He laughs at the way you’re pouting like a little girl being told no, it's so incongruous with the sex siren appearance. You may not be happy but it's a mark of how much you trust him that you obey and pull your hand back to a neutral area.
"Get on with it Lucien," you growl, foreplay is nice but you want an orgasm now!
"Whatever the lady wants." He moves further down so that he's eye level with your cunt. You lift your hips to aid him as Lucien pulls your panties off, they're embarrassingly wet and his smile is purely masculine as he rubs his fingers in the evidence of what he does to you. "And it would appear that you want me."
Lucien hooks one arm under your thigh and lifts it to rest over his shoulder. The position causes your legs to spread even further apart so that he can see every last detail. He bites the skin of your inner thigh, sucking hard enough that he's going to leave a mark. He loves it that he's left a visible sign of his possession on your body, a secret that only the two of you will know about. He is smart enough to do it only in places that won't be visible.
You might complain about it sometimes but secretly you love it as well. There are times when you’ll cross your legs at work just to feel the slight discomfort from the bruise; it's a tactile reminder of your last bout of sex. You could be sitting innocently in front of your coworkers or taking a coffee break and you’ll be fantasizing about his sweaty body rubbing up against yours.
He places a gentle kiss over the marked skin and then he's moving north and more centrally. His fingers spread your lips to expose the nub with its little hood of flesh. Such a small area and yet your whole body is focused on that one spot, just waiting for him to touch it.
The first flick of his tongue causes your hips to arch. He keeps rubbing over the bud, an up and down motion that has you moaning and thrashing about in no time. The friction over your clit is just right, you can feel your pussy clenching in anticipation of the climax that is building. And then just when you’re about to go over the edge he pulls back, a teasing feathery touch that is nowhere hard enough to satisfy you.
"No!" You protest.
You can feel his chuckle against your skin; he's enjoying inflicting his revenge for your earlier actions at the benefit dinner. "Having problems with your control?" he taunts you.
"You're going to have problems walking in a minute if you don't finish what you started," you growl.
"Oooh, threats!" he smiles with glee. "I love it when you play bad. We both know that you're too fond of my cock to do me any harm. But if it will make you feel better, I'll let you spank me later." His laughter booms out.
Your eyes narrow as you glare at him. That particular part of his anatomy might be safe but his ears are still fair game. He must have sensed your intention because his hands capture your wrists before you can twist his ear. Lucien's still laughing but he accedes to your demands. His mouth captures your clit again and this time the pressure is firm and unrelenting as he works you up to a peak again.
"More," you demand. That one word is all that you can manage as his tongue has robbed your breath away. Fortunately he knows exactly what you need and he slides two fingers into your tight wet pussy. He works them in and out, imitating the way his cock normally thrusts into that wet channel. The feeling of your pussy being stretched in combination with the stimulation to your clit has you screaming as you come hard. You’re a mindless mess in his bed and you couldn't care less as long as he just keeps touching you there.
You rest in the curve of his body, the little spoon to his big spoon. He finally took the corset off you and your bare back is pressed against his chest.
"That was awesome. The best Christmas present ever," he says.
You turn so that you face him and wrap your arms around his neck as you lean in for a kiss. "Yeah. A very merry Christmas indeed Lucien."
MLQC Masterlist
#mr love queen’s choice smut#mr love queen’s choice lucien smut#mlqc smut#mlqc lucien smut#mr love queen’s choice#mr love queen’s choice lucien#mlqc#mlqc lucien
149 notes
·
View notes
Text
i1x16 - All about my brother
Last week was so busy for me and my brain was so fried I didn’t think I could do this until today. I’m excited to though to reach this episode, only two more two go and S1 will be done. So here we go.
As usual recap under the cut.
Thoughts I had while watching the episode:
This one of my fave uniform looks of Blair. I don’t even know why, but it is.
I so love the Jenny vs Blair dynamic. Because even if I’m rooting for Blair I can’t help but admire Jenny here.
Chuck and Bart are at the Bachelor party in Montecarlo, and he still calls Serena to see how she is. Brother and sis in the making.
Hello Georgina, oh sorry Sarah. Having watched the series already this is a plot I can’t help but roll my eyes at
Jenny telling Eric that he has a crush on her, actually that whole since she reminded me a lot of Regina George when she was fake nice.
Asher was really bad a hiding his relationship, like the dude is kissing his boyfriend right next to the school where anyone could see them.
I wonder who was Mr Spitzer and why he couldn’t be seated near Serena at the wedding, I want to believe there’s a funny story behind it, and not because he’s a perv.
Sure, Jenny’s being a bitch to Dan, and for once he’s in the right, and yet I can’t feel bad for him.
“Don’t go to France, I’ll be there for you” a throwaway line from Blair, and yet bits like this are what fueled the fandom scale towards Blair for so long, Blair’s drama is petty compared to Serena’s and yet... still to this day people still argue about this mostly against Serena.
“You look stressed even for you” an acurate description of Dan Humphrey at any given time. And Serena’s so eager to have that in her life, poor girl.
Serena’s turning around while Blair’s describing Jenny as self obssesed, self serving, self centered is hilarious, but hey she knows what she’s talking about
The four G: guys, girlfriends and Gossip Girl.
“Now you know how Vanessa Hudgen feels”, that is so 2008. Worse thing is I remember it.
“Wasn’t me, wish it was”, so Blair.
“Is your brotherly duty to save her from becoming the next Katie Holmes” Seriously this episode is getting quite savage with the not so nice pop culture references, also I dind’t want to remember this.
Dan being like “I don’t want Jenny to get hurt” and Blair pointing out that he should have thought of that before telling all of Manhattann that she’s a glorified hag is why Dan sucks so bad.
Rufu’s seeing Lily on that wedding dress
Jenny having a rude awakening, and even though she hates it she still goes along with it.
Again, he may be right, but thanks Jenny for telling Dan to stop judging everyone all the time.
Serena blowing up Blair, and for once this actually was important. Too bad she couldn’t know that.
I so wish Georgina had refered to Blair as Snow White more in the show. And I guess people loved it because I’ve seen it more than once on fanfic. Also Eric being like “Oh, snow not so white, did you hear that...” but in Eric’s favor that was juicy gossip.
Now I feel bad for pointing it out earlie the same thing Georgina says here, that was so in plain sight, this was really mean though.
Eric calling Chuck after the fall out, and he sums it up pretty well, the guy may have flaws, but being a judgmental ass is not one of them.
One of my fave bits of S1 was all the heartfelt moments between Serena and Eric.
Blair’s arrival at Jenny’s party: EPIC. “The most importants parties to attend are the onew you’re not invited to” girl is serving. Also one of her most underrated looks in Season one
Georgina, Vanessa, Serena and Dan sitting at a table, talk about akward, also I don’t know how to interpret this because either: half of the table are sociopaths, or just roll my eyes becaue the writers totatlly forgot about this plot when writing the final season of this show.
Penelope and Hazel bitching about how their first time’s were awful. Not cool.
I wish we had got a nice moment between Blair and Eric, because they did care about each other, and we got so little between them. Because these kids were family, dysfunctional one for sure, but family nonetheless.
I know Asher was a jerk, and this was a moment of empowerment for Eric, but outing people is never good. Like I get why Eric did it, and he’s also really young, but still.
Seriously Blair look’s gorgeous this episode.
That scene with Lily and Eric brief as it was really made me emotional, it’s one Lily’s most honest and realest moment as a mom.
Jenny raising the white flag, this scene is my second fave scene between them,their power struggle may be over for now, but it was a ride. And I love how honest they get with each other.
So Dan can tell Serena what to do, what not do, talk about her friends, but the moment she tells him she has misgivings about someone, he’s like how dare you! why don’t you trust my judgment... and then list all the bad things she did, and just leaves. He’s the biggest hypocrite ever.
Seriously angry Scrabble? And the words are like... ugh. I just can’t with him.
This is one of my favorite moments of Blair and Serena because Blair’s words are such a perfect description of the bond between them.
That’s such an ending for an episode “I kill someone”
No Chuck or Nate this episode.
So this episode... it was quite packed. It’s basically the set up for the finale of Season One, putting and end to the Blair vs Jenny storyline and leaving us with Georgina breaking havoc front and center, only to drop the bomb that Serena killed someone. On first watching I remember I was like what? and hitting next episode really fast. Now not so much because this episode was one of those were rewatching reallly felt diferent from the first time. It’s also the one so far were knowing how the show ends was really distracting
I remembered this episode mostly for being the final round of Blair vs Jenny and it being quite a thing to watch, feeling bad for Eric,loving his scenes with Lily and Serena, and that last scene between Serena and Blair. And unlike the episode of Jenny’s birthday, I didn’t enjoyed their struggle for power as much this second time around. Not because I hated or anything, in fact Blair arriving to that party was still epic, I guess it had a lot to do with the fact that this was my favorite Jenny storyline, back then I didn’t knew what to expect, and I was excited about seeing where her character goes next, and now I know, and I didn’t like it how it went in the end, and it was sad to see her so defeated here,because she is never happy, whenever she gets something she wants it turns out it doesn’t make her happy at all, and even knowing that, the way things go, the way she acts, make it hard to root for her.
I still loved her last scene with Blair though, because it didn’t matter how much antagonism there was between them, they also still saw a bit of themselves in each other, they hate it but they admire each other, and it’s was make their relationship so interesting and why they have these moments of such honesty between them, and sure, here Blair was condecending and Jenny basically tells her that she destroyed her life just to be like Blair, as if being like her was not something good, so each of them believe she’s better than the other, and yet it ends on a really sad not because Jenny’s words “I don’t expect anything anymore” are actually really depressing for a 15 year old girl, and as soon as she turns back towards the elevator, Blair drops the smile, because she gets it. So like I said, a really good scene, and even though I may not be excited about Jenny’s storylines anymore, I’m excited about a certaing scene betweem them in S2. That’s my fave. You can probably guess which one it is.
The other main plot this episode was Georgina still breaking havoc on Serena’s life, this time by blackmailing her, and becoming friends with Dan and Vanessa. Now, I normally don’t like to think that much about future events, particularly how it all ends, because I like enjoying the episodes trying to yes get more insight on why things happened the way it did, and it’s easier to analyse the characters actions and motivations in the moment, rather than focusing in their whole character arc, but this episode I found it pretty impossible to do because, knowing Dan is Gossip Girl means he’s pretending the whole time in a more obvious way, playing it up next to Georgina who’s presented as manipulative, a tad crazy and evil, is hard not to notice how he’s basically the same, and at least Georgina was honest about her nature, Dan on the other hand is not, Penn and the whole internet has being pointing out since “You” came out about how Penn’s character Joe, is Dan upgrading to murder, and this is where the comparison really cames to life. It kind of creeps me out.
Dan aslo makes me really angry, becausse to top it all he gets mad at Serena, for basically not trusting her judgement because he is the trustworthy one in this relationship and she is not, and he drives the point home by listing all the times she has lied to him, never mind that part of the reason she lies is beacause he’s a judgmental ass who has lowkey constantly drilled her with how he loves the good Serena, and this episode he’s even critical of her haning out with Chuck who is a) her soon to be step brother b) someone she’s been reluctant friends with since she was a kid, and he also is critical of her partying, so basically the things she did before she met him, and that’s wrong on itself, but having Dan Humphrey acting all high and mighty because he doesn’t lie to Serena, makes me angry because he being a hypocrite not capable of seeing his own mistakes, never asking for forgiveness is what I dislike the most about his character.
I’ll leave it here for today, because this carries on to the next episode, and because Dan’s gets even worse on the next ones, so I’ll know I’ll be ranting about him even more so, and I don’t want to repeat myself, at least not that much. I’ll end this by remembering that last scene between Blair and Serena, because it’s such a precious moments and the reason why no matter what happened between and how bad it got, they are sisters and love each other to pieces “We're sisters. You're my family. What is you is me. There's nothing that you could ever say to make me let go. I love you”
Random bit’s I’ve noticed:
Lily’s schedule was so full, between disscusing her prenup, a final fitting at Mark Ingram’s Atelier, a mani/pedi, a conference call about an article, an appoitment at Barney’s... oh the good life.
So this episode is where the “whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop” quote cames from. I’ve seen that one on a ton of edits, no one of my fave though.
Funny but if there was one character that really put into practice Blai’rs words about crashing parties it was Vanessa now that I think of it.
Shut up and let me go! I was so obssesed with that song back in 2008. Though when I think of the Ting Tings and Gossip Girl, I have a different song in mind.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gravity Falls S02E09 - The Love God
Oh no. Nothing good can come from that title. In the past I'd have said that it's a very Dipper episode title but he got over it. So... I have no idea who the Love God could be. Let's do this?
It looks like a dog!
The kids looking at clouds with Wendy's friends is weirdly wholesome.
oh _no_
Someone give Thompson some self-respect before the end of the season please
Friendship with no awkwardness~ And it only took 29 episodes to get here!
Not you too, Dipper!
It's Stan or Soos, isn't it?
Quick, grab a shovel and bury him while he's still down!
A true romantic
That's what I like, someone who takes initiative.
...this feels like the hint of something very unhealthy that will take years of going to therapy to untangle.
I really like Mabel's rainbow flag sweater.
Yeah, Mabel's therapist is going to have a field day untangling that one. And that's after having to process all the accumulated trauma from Gravity Falls.
Awww
Is that Shaggy from Scooby Doo?
This B-Plot has a lot of potential.
Can't believe acne was the reason Robbie turned evil.
An Xbox with Gamecube controllers? Gravity Falls's weirdness never stops.
That's a really good insult.
This is pretty creepy and there's not even magic involved (yet?)
Huh. I hadn't even considered her as a candidate for Robbie. But I guess? She's too much of a background character to have an opinion either way.
This is turning into haters-to-lovers fanfic.
So... go on.
Oh _no_.
weirdly cute
Uhm. Isn't there no way to interpret a love potion in a good way? Best case scenario is mind control. Unless they play it as "the potion was fake, it was your heart all along."
I don't like where this is going
Mabel just disrupted the very delicate social balance of a group of teenagers. There's no way this doesn't end with everyone confessing crushes left and right.
Thompson actually has a spine!
On the other hand, Dipper _did_ revive the dead when Mabel asked him not to... so, they are even?
They are way too happy after reading that description
Look, what else did you expect from something called "Hippie Tea"?
Wow, that's a character I didn't expect to see again.
This side plot is even greater than I expected.
oh my god, this is amazing.
Nothing unites humanity like having someone to laugh at. Wait.
This is a surprisingly good song for it to be about a goat and a pig.
AT THE PLAY OR AT THE FAIR,
I ALWAYS SEE THEM STANDING THERE
DRESSED IN BLACK THEY'RE ON MY LAWN,
BUT WHEN I TURN MY HEAD THEY'RE GONE
I... have no idea what this is referencing.
---
I feel pretty conflicted about the use of a love potion. Mabel just made two people fall in love with no regards with how they felt before. But she used a potion previously used by a real cupid who apparently is officially sanctioned to do that to people so it's not as awful as it could be in that universe? Hm. It feels very "the end justify the means," they ended up happy so it's okay?
On the bright side Mabel did end up learning that it's a bad idea to mess with people so that's something.
I sound pretty down on the episode, but while the concept is iffy at best, the execution was pretty fun. And Stan's ballon was the best thing I've seen today.
Until next time!
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
SPN Advent Calendar - Day 12
Elves
Day: 12
Giftee: @wendibird
Prompt: Elves
Pairing: Sam Winchester / Eileen Leahy
Warnings: fluff!! (Destiel is a side pairing. )
Word Count: 1.091
Summary: Dressed as Elves, Sam and Eileen are on a hunt in a mall. While Sam ships his brother and their angel, he hopes that one day he gets together with Eileen. But not in this costume, right?
Link (if posted on AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/21772441
“Sam?”
Sam turns around and makes a face. He feels incredible ridiculous. The vest is tight around his torso and the hat is annoying him already. His hair is surely a mess already.
“I’m ready I think. At least as ready as I can be.” Sam says and walks over to Eileen, who actually looks pretty adorable in her green dress. There are people who can wear anything. But maybe he is just very biased.
He loves Eileen in every outfit.
“You look good, stop fussing.” Eileen says, she is grinning widely and Sam wishes he could just lean down and kiss her. He knows he would give his best for her, but he doesn’t know if that is enough.
“Okay okay. So where is that Christmas Town?” Sam asks and he rolls his eyes. He had signed the last two words and he likes, when it makes Eileen smile even more. He is learning fast but sadly he can’t communicate only through signing so far.
“Right here.” Eileen takes his hand and Sam hopes he doesn’t blush. They walk through the mall and Sam looks around while Eileen leads him through all the people. There are too many and Sam frowns.
He has no idea how they want to find the creature that is after kids.
“Ho ho holy fuck.” Dean is grinning widely, when they stop in front of him. Sam shrugs and tries to play it cool, but he knows that he looks like an idiot. Eileen just slaps Dean on the chest and rather hard, because Dean coughs.
“Super funny, Dean. Really. I mean you are dressed like Santa.” Sam says and he looks at the damn beard that is over Dean’s face. He can still see the evil smile on his brother’s face. Dean shrugs.
“You’re just annoyed that you finally lost at rock paper scissors.” Dean says, while he strokes over his fat belly. He probably shoves a huge pillow under it, but it looks real with the thick red jacket over it.
“Whatever.” Sam mumbles, because actually he lost on purpose, so he could match with Eileen. But nobody needs to know that.
“Be nice!” Eileen says and then smiles again. She walks over to the little Santa house and waits in front of it, before she waves all the kids, that are waiting for them. Sam can’t help but watch her.
“Oh you got it bad. Maybe ask her finally out, so you stop looking so lovesick.” Dean says and he chuckles again. Sam grunst at that.
“Seriously? You are one to talk.” Sam says and just as Dean wants to argue about that, Castiel comes over to them. Sam has to grin, when he sees that Castiel is dressed in white and wears fake wings and a fake halo.
“Oh. Hiya Cas.” Dean says, blushing all the way under his white beard. Castiel looks annoyed.
“I do have real wings but you really force me to wear those?” Castiel complains and just as Dean answers, it’s enough for Sam. He walks over to the little house as well and stands next to Eileen.
“Still no kiss? Aw.” Eileen says and Sam has to chuckle. He knows that Eileen is waiting for Dean and Cas to get their shit together as well. Maybe… she hopes for herself and Sam, too?
“One day.”
Sam isn’t even sure if he is answering Eileen or talking about his own daydreams. Just then Dean turns around and sits down on the huge armchair, before Castiel opens the line for the kids.
It’s getting louder, a lot of kids are already yelling for Santa and Sam holds up his bag with the chocolate. While Cas and Dean really take care of the children and Dean listens to their wishes, it gives Eileen and Sam time to look around.
“You see anyone?” Sam signs towards Eileen who shakes her head. They don’t even know what kind of monster it is, but it somehow always gets them after they were at Santa. Sam checked the old Santa very thoroughly and he turned out to be a really nice and sweet old man.
“Maybe it knows we are here.” Eileen answers, smiling at the next child who looks at them.
“Are you Santa’s elves?” The little girl asks and Eileen nods at her. Sam laughs a bit embarrassed and stands besides Eileen, in case she can’t read the little girl’s lips very good.
“We are. Do you want some sweets, before our angel brings you to Santa?” Eileen asks and the little girl nods. Sam smiles, of course Eileen knows how to handle things. Sam admires her so much.
“Aren’t you too big for an Elf?” The girl asks now and Sam blushes a deep red, when Eileen laughs loudly. He loves her laugh, but now he feels just embarrassed.
“He always ate his veggies, you know.” Eileen explains and just then something behind them in the Santa house, rumbles loudly. Sam looks up and nods, when Eileen looks at him. They both apologize to the parents and walk back to the house.
Dean is still sitting in front of it on the armchair and nods towards the house, when he sees that Sam is looking at him. He has a little boy on his lap, who babbles about his wish. Dean smiles and answers him, while Castiel watches over them.
Sam walks into the house first, but it seems empty. Eileen comes in after him and points at some of the gifts that had fallen over. One snow globe broke and Sam sighs. Seems like it was nothing.
EIleen shrugs and just as she wants to walk back out, she stumbles over something. Sam catches her easily and smiles down at her.
“Careful.” He whispers and so close he sees that Eileen is blushing herself. He hopes he reads the signs right (pun not intended) and kisses her right there in the Santa house, dressed as silly elves.
Eileen kisses back and Sam doesn’t remember the last time he was this relieved. He carefully holds her in his arms and smiles into the kiss, when her fingers stroke through his long hair under the damn hat.
“Finally.” Sam whispers, when Eileen breaks the kiss.
“One pair down, only one missing.” Eileen laughs and Sam can’t resist to kiss her again. It feels even better than the first time. Just as Sam takes a step back, his hands still on her hips, the door opens.
Castiel looks stressed.
“Dean is gone.”
#sam x eileen#sam winchester x eileen leahy#saileen#saileen art#saileen fic#my art#my writing#spnadventcalendar2019
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Distance Between Us
Chapter 6: With Friends Like These...
Pairing: Rowena x reader
Summary: Rowena is surprisingly generous, and Crowley is a drama king.
Editor: @cherrypierowena
The Sunday tutoring session went as well as the first one. You still had a long way to go, but at the very least you were starting to understand the few lessons that were on the test.
For a mean girl, Rowena was an amazing teacher. You could tell learning was something she was really passionate about, as was spreading the knowledge she had.
If only she were like that — that patient, that, dare you say it, nice — at school.
You might have even liked her.
Was that why Sam liked her? Her genuine interest in knowledge? Was that what they were talking about when they hung out?
If yes, you could somewhat understand where Sam was coming from. If you only knew her as a dedicated geek, you would like her, too.
But you didn't.
The majority of what you saw of her was meanness. Bullying. Snobbery.
A few hours of studying together couldn't erase that. Couldn't erase the fact that not only had she made the choice to be that way — she'd fought tooth and nail for it.
She was a mean girl by choice.
When the bell rang that Monday, Ms. Hanscum asked for you and Rowena to stay behind. Rowena rolled her eyes. You did the same. You'd had enough of math.
"So," Ms. Hanscum said in her ever-present overly cheerful tone, "how's it going, girls? Made any progress?"
"Yup," you replied. Not as much as she probably expected, but it was something.
"Great!" she beamed. "I knew this would be a great arrangement!"
"It's bloody epic," Rowena mumbled under her breath sarcastically.
You snorted.
Ms. Hanscum frowned. "What was that?"
"Nothing," Rowena said, picture perfect smile mirroring the teacher's painted on her mouth.
Ms. Hanscum grinned big and bright. "I'm so happy for you girls! This'll help you both out. You'll see."
Right. Because being forced to spend time with someone you disliked was so helpful.
"You gonna be ready for the make up exam?"
The question caught you off guard. "Um… well…"
"She totally will," Rowena cut in. You threw her a look she ignored.
You'd gone over a few lessons. There were still a lot of things you didn't get. A lot of things you were insecure about.
You would study, but you doubted it would help much.
The majority of the things that were on the test were still a foreign language to you, and that meant another big, fat F.
"Excellent!" Ms. Hanscum said happily. She reached into a paper bag she had on the desk, took out a donut and bit into it. Pointing at the bag, mouth full and smeared with powdered sugar, she asked, "Donut?"
Rowena made a face as if she'd just been offered rotten meat.
"Sure," you said just to spite her, and took a donut of your own. You took a large bite, basking in the sweetness. "They're awesome!"
"Right?" Ms. Hanscum said. "There's this bakery down the street from where I live. They make excellent donuts! Take another one."
You did as you finished the first one, then bid goodbye to the teacher and headed outside.
"You're disgusting," Rowena said, expression matching her words.
You smirked. "I know."
She rolled her eyes.
"What's with the whole 'she'll totally be ready' shit?" you asked.
"That." She shuffled her feet nervously. Looked around as if in search of spies. "I was thinking — maybe we could study today, tomorrow, and the day after, too."
She what?
"You crazy?"
As if two days wasn't enough.
She wanted to add three more days to it?
"We don't have to," Rowena said, annoyed. "Just saying we could."
"Isn't that a bit much?"
She shrugged. "There's quite a bit we still haven't covered."
"Maybe I don't struggle with that," you said.
She looked at you in disbelief. "Do you?"
If only you didn't.
There was no point lying. "Yeah."
She smirked. Triumphant. Smug. "So, what do you say?" In a nonchalant, overly fake tone, she added, "It's fine if you don't want to. It's your grade."
Did — did she want you to say yes?
"Fine," you said.
Your friends were going to just love you missing out on hangouts to study with her.
"Four o'clock?"
"Works for me."
It was a deal.
*****
"So?" Dean asked first thing he saw you at lunch break.
"So what?"
But you already knew.
"What was it like, studying with the evil skank?"
The hot topic in your friend group.
"Quite fun, actually," you said.
They all, except for Sam, looked at you as if you'd just admitted to killing a litter of kittens.
Awful, pathetic, and horrible were some of the expected answers.
Oh, well.
You lived to disappoint.
"What?" you said defensively and took a bite out of your sandwich.
Crowley looked you in the eyes, then, seeing you were serious, did the sign of the cross.
You rolled your eyes so hard Rowena would've envied you.
Seriously?
He wasn't even religious. His only gospel was You Only Live Once and he lived its word to the fullest.
"Fun? Fun?!" he said dramatically. Loud enough for the entire school to hear him. A few people turned their heads. Most ignored him, having gotten used to his theatrics. "You call spending time with my sister — alone — fun?!"
"Yeah," you said nonchalantly.
His face flushed red as a cherry. Or a bomb inches away from explosion. Which, given the circumstances, seemed like a likely scenario. "That's it!" he proclaimed. "Friendship over!"
God.
What was it that made you want to be friends with him in the first place?
Oh, right — this very behavior.
You sure knew how to pick them.
"Were we ever even friends?" Crowley kept ranting. Eyes wide. Hands flying in all directions as he gestured like a madman. Accent thick in every word. "Was everything a lie? Are you a lie? Do you even bloody exist?!"
"Oh, come on!" you said, irritation sparking through you like a rush of heat.
You were beginning to comprehend why he and Rowena didn't get along — they were too damn similar!
"You've gone team whore!"
You shot him an incredulous look. "'Cause I liked studying with her?"
"That's how she gets you!" he explained. "Pretends to be nice. Sucks you in. Digs the claws in. Then you're hers! You might as well be dead!"
"You're overreacting." You looked around. "Why are y'all so quiet? He's overreacting. Right? Tell him he's overreacting."
"He's overreacting" Sam said.
Your man! "Thank you!"
Castiel frowned in confusion. His signature move. "You really liked it?"
"Yeah," you replied. "She's a great teacher."
Crowley let out an inhumane noise that might have been a squeak.
Or a pterodactyl mating call.
"She is!" you said defensively.
"Wow," Meg said.
Dean scowled suspiciously. "You hit your head? Did she hit you in the head?"
"Jesus Christ!" you exploded, having had enough. Your gang was always a bit weird, but this was ridiculous. This was fucking crazy! "I just think she's a good tutor. Doesn't mean I like the girl!"
"You liked being with her. That's pretty much the same thing," Dean said.
"No, it's not," you argued. "Why do you even care? I mean, Sam's friends with her."
"Sam gets his at home."
The younger Winchester shot him his signature bitchface.
"You hate her," Dean added. "You've always hated her!"
More like disliked her.
Severely.
She hadn't — yet — done anything to make you hate her.
Even still…
"It was just one study session!" you defended.
Meg held up two fingers and said in a deadpan manner, "Two."
"Two study sessions," you corrected. A sigh escaped your mouth. "I don't get what the big deal is. Like I said, she's still a bitch. She's just also a good tutor."
"She'll fuck you over," Crowley said. "She'll play with your heart, then tear it out and eat it right in front of you!"
"Okay, drama king," you said exasperatedly. "You're right. You're completely right. Can you stop now?"
"She will eat it!" he exclaimed dramatically.
"I'm starting to think you're jealous."
He scowled.
You smiled, sugary sweet, overdone.
"Don't worry. You're still my favorite MacLeod. Even if you're annoying."
He flipped you off.
You returned the favor.
"I'm no fan of ginger-bitch, but I'm starting to see why she hates drama king here," Meg commented. "So fucking glad I'm an only child."
"Says the girl who sucked Lucifer's dick up until recently," Crowley retorted.
Meg shot him a look that threatened murder. "He wishes. Do you also wish I sucked your dick?"
"I'm not that desperate. Besides, a man my size? You couldn't handle it, darling."
She laughed. "Trust me, sugar, I've handled bigger and better."
She squeezed Castiel's arm as she said that, prompting him to blush crimson and turn his head.
Crowley snickered. "Never a real man, then."
"Clarence is plenty real," Meg said. Her way of calling him angel. "You? A waste. Might as well change your name to Tiffany and parade around in a pink dress."
Damn.
She was ruthless.
"I'd still look bloody fabulous," Crowley said, head high in feigned pride. "Better than Feathers here. You two are perfect for each other."
"Why, thank you!"
"It wasn't a compliment."
"It was to me."
"You take everything as a compliment. Like all those things Lucifer said to you. The rumors he spread. All compliments, right?"
Meg scowled. He'd hit a nerve. "Piss off, Fergus."
Uh oh.
There was a reason he'd insisted that everyone — including the teachers — called him Crowley. He hated his birth name. Loathed it to the depths of his soul. He claimed it sounded like a venereal disease and hated his mother for giving it to him.
Rowena, naturally, insisted on calling him that and only that.
His friends, on the other hand, called him as he preferred.
Meg sure knew how to run her mouth.
But then, she wasn't his friend. The two of them could barely stand each other, and had only hung out because she was dating Castiel, who in turn was sort-of-friends with him.
Calling them acquaintances would be generous.
"I'll piss on you, Meg," Crowley retorted.
Meg grinned. "Oh, you just know what turns me on, don't you?" she purred.
He flipped her off.
She laughed.
Good ol' Meg and Crowley. Always a great distraction.
As they bantered, Castiel, as well as you, Sam, and Dean stood there awkwardly. Unsure what to say. How to react.
Then you revealed that you would be studying with Rowena today, tomorrow, and the day after, and, to your grievance, all the attention and drama was back on you.
*****
"You what?"
Olivette was livid. She remained calm, but her tone, the strain in her voice, the ice on her face were dead giveaways of the storm that brewed inside. Tranquil fury. Lightning before the rumbling thunder.
As expected, she hadn't taken the news of Rowena having three tutoring sessions with you this week well.
Neither did Lucifer, but he, at the very least, had the decency to keep his anger to himself.
"You're really tutoring Dumbo three days this week?" he said. "Seriously?"
"It wasn't my bloody idea!" Rowena said. "Ms. Hanscum said I had to. And tried to force-feed me donuts."
She made a face.
Olivette made an even more disgusted one. "That bitch is such a pig."
"I drew the line at that," Rowena said.
Okay, so she said a wee lie. Or a couple. Or a bit more.
She couldn't exactly admit it was her idea. What would that look like?
A shudder ran through her at the thought, cold as ice.
"So you can't hang out today?" Olivette asked.
Rowena shook her head. "Or tomorrow, or Wednesday."
'What about us?" Lucifer whined, pouting like a child.
She pulled on a smile. He was an arse, but he could be impossibly cute when he wanted.
"She doesn't care."
He said something not very nice under his breath. "This is such bullshit!"
"I'll make it up to you," Rowena said, lacing fingers through his. Squeezing them together in a tight knot. Her eyes wandered from his to Olivette's. "Both of you. Friday night, I'm all yours."
The truth was, she was looking forward to studying with you more than the outing she'd arranged with them.
She thought having popular friends would be the best thing ever, but the truth was, it was the opposite.
She hated it.
Hated watching Olivette and her little posse bully girls they deemed fat and ugly and boys they deemed unworthy of looking at them.
Hated watching Lucifer shove kids into lockers and threaten them for nothing but the sheer thrill of it.
Hated being there when it happened.
Hated laughing along with them, encouraging them without a single word as their victims' eyes wandered to her in search of help, of mercy, only to turn down in disappointment at finding none.
A part of her knew it was worth it. The life she had — she'd fought for it. So what if a few people had to suffer?
At least it wasn't her.
Never again.
Now, she was on top of the food chain.
Didn't mean she had to like all it entailed.
She needed an out. A vacation. A wee bit of time away from it all. Needed something to make her forget all the bad she did — all the bad she was still doing.
She was a good tutor. A bloody great one.
And, for a girl who never did anything to better herself, you made for good company.
You did as told. It took you a while from time to time, but you did all the work she gave you. Contrary to what she thought, you weren't dumb. You just needed a bit of guidance.
There were sarcastic remarks and eye-rolls, often mutual, but other than that, tutoring you was a pleasant experience.
It was, dare she say it, fun.
"You'd better," Lucifer purred, then pressed his lips to hers in a hungry kiss.
"I promise," Rowena muttered as they parted for breath. Then his lips were on hers once again, and she gave herself away, let him do with them as he pleased.
That was the way things worked between them. She gave. He took. Anything he wanted, he could take, no questions asked.
Just like Olivette and her posse.
Oh, well.
Everything came with a price stamped on it in large, bolded letters.
Rowena knew what she was getting into.
She'd made her bed. Now she had to lie in it.
*****
Tags: @werewolfbarbie @oswinthestrange @songofthecagedmoose @apurdyfulmind @getthesalt-sam @metallihca @salembitchtrials @jay-eris @hellsmother @elizabeth-effie @victoriasagittariablack @rowenaswife @wonderifshelikesroses @xfireandsin @liddell-alien @hotdiggitydammit @lae-lae @darkhumorsblog @gaysnakess @angel7376 @cherrypierowena @ruthieconnells @evil-regal-vampiress @collectorofsecretsandsouls @angel-e-v-a @tasyahilker @a-queen-and-her-throne
#rowena#rowena macleod#rowena x reader#spn#supernatural#crowley#sam winchester#dean winchester#castiel#meg masters#olivette#lucifer#fanfiction#my fics#high school au
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ikemen Revolution - Edgar’s Route
Sirius | Lancelot | Fenrir
aka the sexiest man in the entire red army the entire cast. the hottest stud in the military. the most gorgeous boy in Alice’s harem. the man who will satisfy your wishes and desires, the man who will make your hopes and dreams come true.
THE SMOOTHEST TALKER EVER
it’s been over a month since I finished Edgar’s route but here is his long awaited and very delayed scream fest. I wrote this up bit by bit over the course of two months but I never had the time to sit down and proof read it until now because of school and I didn’t want to post something half assed because it’s Edgar! Also this is uhh... really freaking long LOOL. As usual, if you you want my actual serious final thoughts on the route, just skip to the final blurb.
Now with literally every red army route so far (except Jonah), OF COURSE the Black Army mofos send Alice off with more NAMELESS, FACELESS soldiers who can’t do shit in the face of kidnappers, and end up getting their ass kicked, leaving poor Alice completely defenseless. This time around, the kidnappers make off with Alice’s belongings into the sunset so Alice can’t return home.
That is until our dashing gentleman aka Edgar comes in going like hey baby I’ll help you find your stuff so won’t you please come home to bed with me and of course Alice accepts because he’s a damn hot stud.
Aw Kyle don’t say that ;;;;;.
SO PRECIOUS.............
I’m going to say it right now but Edgar is ADORABLE. Literally the first half of his route is just him and Alice bonding over their love of candy and playing with animals. Edgar even takes Alice out to see a family of ducks he takes care of and he refers to them as his own family and fucking named them “The Creeks” JUST HOW PRECIOUS CAN HE GET???? Considering how Edgar is portrayed as that “evil scheming asshole here to ruin everyone’s day” in everyone else’s route, I didn’t expect him to be so sweet BUT HE IS SUCH A GOD DAMN SWEETIE as you can see I’m infinitely biased towards LIs who like animals.
What... a .... fucking... dork
lmao @ Lancelot trying to act like a do-s when he’s the complete opposite of that. This man doesn’t have a single sadistic bone in his body... he’s just a big mushy teddy bear.
WHAT A FUCKING BIG MUSHY TEDDY BEAR, BOTH OF YOU.
The red army boys are a bunch nerds you just can’t help but fall in love with after going through their routes... especially Edgar’s! I love them all so much.
OH NO MY BABY DON’T SAY THAT PLEASE.
lmao I love the blatant acknowledgement. But also mood.
Anyway after Zero zeros in on Edgar being a sketchy prick, Edgar mopes around some more because “shit Zero is exactly right” and he has a realization that he has Feelings In His Chest. Of course Alice catches on so she bakes him some super unhealthy cookies to make him feel better (ღ˘⌣˘ღ).
I MEAN... I DON’T BLAME HIM, BECAUSE SAME.
Edgar starts disappearing into the night to do “”family business”” for his totally-not-evil-uncle and I SWEAR to god at the time I was like “this mofo’s deadass going around murdering people” and now I’m just like .... ha ha.
One day Alice stumbles across Edgar coming home from “”family business”” and rushes out to greet him, only for him to freak the fuck out and hide his hands behind his back. SERIOUSLY I THOUGHT HIS HANDS WERE BLOOD SOAKED. Alice’s like wtf you doing and yanks his hands out only to find them freezing cold BECAUSE HE WAS BUSY WASHING THE BLOOD OFF OF THEM.
This is one of my favourite scenes JUST.... WARMTH... THE TENDERNESS.... THE FONDNESS.... THE SHEER AFFECTION SHE HAS FOR HIM IS SO MAGNETIZING. The god damn romantic connotations is overflowing it’s practically on the same level as a damn love confession without the actual confession of love.
I love that sort of duality between their relationship being built on fake premises, but is actually very genuine at its core. Edgar may have saved Alice with ulterior motives, but his kindness towards her both when they first met and their interactions after that was very real. It’s through little things in the writing like Alice commenting on how Edgar’ hands were warm that makes it all the more endearing and heart wrenching.
AGAIN--OH NO MY BABY DON’T SAY THAT PLEASE.
lmao never change, Jonah. Never change.
narrator: she was not fine.
look everything in this game may be a rip off but those LI-perspective side stories are just..............IT’S OKAY MY HEART IS ALREADY MADE OF DIAMOND.
Anyhoo the war between the two armies are starting to get Heated Up™ and Edgar requests Lancelot to go scouting in enemy territory alone, but Lancelot refuses bc it’s dangerous. Honestly idk what’s so dangerous about it considering how Sirius’s route was pretty much Edgar vs Black Army and the Black Army still had trouble but ANYWAY. Alice finds out and gets pissed and they end up arguing, to which everyone starts celebrating and clinking wine glasses in toasts because “holy shit Edgar actually has emotions?!” 😂😂
MY GUY LOL WHAT IS THIS.
In Edgar’s route, you don’t say “I love you”, you say THIS. SERIOUSLY MY HEART HURTS SO BAD ESPECIALLY WITH THE CONTEXT OF EDGAR’S CHARACTER AND THE STORY OF THIS ROUTE.
After Edgar’s leaves on his scouting trip Claudius decides it’s a good time to come out into the limelight and ruin some people’s lives for fun so he sends Alice a letter going like “yo here’s a plot convenient key to Edgar’s safe where he keeps his weed stash so you can see the truth that your boyfriend is a PIECE OF SHIT”. And Alice is all like “ay Edgar isn’t a piece of shit, I’m sure this is just a prank!”
too bad it isn’t.
Zero takes Alice to Edgar’s safe and seriously I was on the edge of my seat wondering wtf was in his safe. I suspected it was gonna be her belongings but with the suspense they kept building in this part I wouldn’t have been surprised if there were fucking dead bodies in that locker.
So on the bright side, there were no dead bodies in the safe. On the not so bright side, Alice finds all the letters she wrote to the Black Army, as well as warning letters from them she never received so it turned out Edgar was fabricating the letters she was exchanging with the Black Army all this time. OH GOODIE.
GAHHHH NO EDGAR.
SERIOUSLY can we talk about how good the writing in this route is?!? All the dialogue and monologues are just structured in a way that gets to my emotions. I fucking cried during this scene because Alice’s emotions and despair was so raw and powerful and the way Edgar just silently took all her verbal abuse because he couldn’t defend himself but he was breaking with every word she said ...... ABLHEAJTARTHEATHJAEKHT.
Anyway Alice miraculously somehow escapes the Red Army Headquarters and races back to the Black Army in one piece seriously girl did you run an entire evening without stopping to black territory??? Adrenaline mixed with terror is something only for the surprise plot convenience robbers to make a reappearance. Fortunately, our MVP Luka dashingly swoops in and saves her. He brings her back to Black Territory and cooks her dinner and is there to comfort her MPH...BABY BOY IS SO SOFT AND SWEET...................
Alice completely breaks down and ME FUCKING TOO. She can’t really say much other than a strangled sob of “You know Luka, I had a lot of fun at the Red Army. Edgar treated me really, really well” or something like that and honestly that’s also she really needed to say to convey her heartbreak and betrayal.
lol I can imagine Edgar doing that.
THANKS I’M FUCKING DEPRESSED NOW.
Luka reveals that he and Edgar were long time friends and muses to Alice on what he’s known about Edgar throughout the years. He drops this information on Alice not to necessarily tell her how to feel, but just as food for thought for Alice as she sorts out her feelings.
THANKS I’M EVEN MORE FUCKING DEPRESSED NOW. Also this is hands down the most powerful admittance of love this game has given me.
lmao never change Seth, never change.
Anyhoo Claudius McDoucheMuffin gets into contact with Alice and is all like “hey girl I got your purse.” And for some reason, Alice thinks he’s perfectly trustworthy ¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯.
ALICE....ABOUT THAT....
OH NO.
Well yeah what do you know ha ha, Claudius kidnaps Alice because THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS EVERY FUCKING TIME THE BLACK ARMY SENDS A NAMELESS BODYGUARD OUT TO PROTECT HER.
Claudius takes Alice to outside Amon’s sex dungeon where Edgar is there lovingly waiting for her. Edgar is slightly surprised to see Alice and is rurl pissed over his daddy uncle manhandling her so he makes Claudius give them some alone time in the carriage while he removes Alice’s ropes and dresses her wounds. Alice isn’t keen on it but she realizes that “holy shit Claudius may be a bigger piece of shit than Edgar” so she lets him spill his token tragic backstory to her.
This is so god damned painful.......
jesus christ this puts the whole “In the Bright family, loving people is practically forbidden” into context.
This makes me wonder what would become of Edgar in the other routes where his pact isn’t abolished-- would he really marry if this was the fate he knew his wife and children would go through, or would he just stay single and let his lineage die with him?
Unfortunately, their touching reunion doesn’t last long because Claudius is pretty much banging on their carriage door going like
“time’s up bitches we got work to do” and pretty much barges in and yanks Alice away from Edgar.
Bring it, asshat.
Claudius unceremoniously marches Alice straight into the thick of Amon’s sex dungeon while Edgar reluctantly dallys along with the Concerned Kermit Face the entire time. Amon pretty much ditches Lance for his new buddy Claudius so they can TAKE OVER THE WORLD HUR DUR. Him and Claudius cackle about their evil plans and Alice realizes that Edgar was more or less being manipulated by them and he’s not the Actual Worst. Amon then orders Alice to be thrown into his Personal Chambers™.
Jesus christ, YOU ARE SUCH AN ASS, CLAUDIUS.
DON’T MIND ME I’M JUST BEING EMO.
We cut back to Amon and Alice and Amon does his typical evil villain monologue, takes off his hood and....
(屮゜Д゜)屮(屮゜Д゜)屮(屮゜Д゜)屮 HE HAS A CHARACTER DESIGN?!?!?!?!
I KID YOU NOT THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME I SAW AMON WITHOUT HIS HOOD AND I WAS SHOOKED TO MY FUCKING BONES. I DIDN’T THINK HE’D ACTUALLY HAVE A PROPER CHARACTER DESIGN. It was three in the morning when I played this and I literally just put my phone down and laid in my bed staring at the ceiling as I contemplated my life choices after that.
After that shocking revelation, Amon throws Alice into the dungeons for Edgar to dashingly swoop in and save. It’s the full moon so he takes her to the gates of hell Hole That No Player Ever Wants To See. Now if this was a black army route, the suitor would have thrown Alice’s sad ass straight down that hole but this isn’t a black army route so we’re spared from that. Instead we have Alice CHUCKING ALL OF HER POSSESSIONS INTO THE HOLE ((((；゜Д゜))), effectively sealing her fate of ever going back. I get it’s supposed to be a power move but my only thoughts were “WHAT IF EDGAR DIDN’T ACTUALLY RETURN YOUR FEELINGS LMAO?!” I mean it’s an otome game so of course Edgar loves her back but can you imagine how awkward it’d be if Alice was like “I’m not going back because I love you!” and Edgar’s just like “...but I don't feel the same”. YEESH.
On a less superficial level, I was still really sad because didn’t they make a promise to go to London together one day? ໒( •́ ∧ •̀ )७ I know it wasn’t really a promise but still! Chances are all gone now.
Edgar: Alice, I’m an actual murderer.
Alice: NAH, YOU’RE JUST A WEIRDO, EDGAR! (´∩｡• ᵕ •｡∩`) ♡
I AM SO FUCKING EMO.
Also!!! HE’S THE ONLY BOY SO FAR WHO HAS A KISS CG IN HIS ROUTE. (haven’t played Ray’s route yet so idk about him). You have all these Spicy CGs of the boys and Alice in sexually compromising positions and you have Actual Sex Scenes and yet this game barely has any kiss cgs LOL?! What gives?!
He’s so romantic (ఠ్ఠ ˓̭ ఠ్ఠ).
Since Edgar’s officially betrayed Claudius, he pretty much duels him and kicks his ass and arrests him. Unfortunately, arresting Claudius doesn’t absolve Edgar of his crimes and he’s still put on trial with Lancelot and Ray as the judges. This scene kind of weirded me out because Edgar says some mumbo jumbo about how he’s going on trial so he can “become a man worthy of Alice’s love” like uHHH boy you being worthy of her love ain’t gonna mean jack shit if you’re in jail. Unless you want a nice steamy serving of this ending.
Okay I’m not trying to sound like I’m justifying murder but akjheakthake just FLEETING THOUGHTS YA KNOW. This scene was hella predictable and played out exactly like we’d all know (Edgar doesn’t go to jail hurray!) but even still the trial made me SO EMOTIONAL I STARTED CRYING LMAOO.
Oh Jonah, I know a game you’d love.
Romantic Ending:
Now that things finally calmed down, Alice and Edgar go on a date with Luka tagging along and Jonah acting as the fourth wheel, much to Luka’s chagrin. (ღ˘⌣˘ღ) ♫･*:.｡. .｡.:*･
NEVER CHANGE JONAH, NEVER CHANGE.
Out of all the pet names my fictional boyfriend could give me, being called an angel is my number one favourite IT’S JUST SO SOFT AND MAKES MY HEART GO DOKI FUCKING DOKI YA FEEL.
is it a sin that I imagined Edgar going full blown chokemedaddy yandere jealous.... not exactly a romantic thought in the romantic ending, bUT FLEETING THOUGHTS, FLEETING THOUGHTS.
LUKA IS SO GOD DAMN PRECIOUS KILL ME NOW.
AHHH WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE.....
-------
Honestly I’m not even gonna mince words-- I loved this route and everything that came with it.
Before I go on my rampage, shout out to Luka for being the MVP supporting character in Edgar’s route. It’s hard to imagine them being friends considering how clashing their personalities are but their friendship was surprisingly heartwarming and endearing.
I don’t even know how to articulate my thoughts on what made this route so perfect. For starters, Edgar and Alice have amazing chemistry and their personalities compliment each other well. Their bonding and budding friendship was really endearing and felt very believable. From little superficial antics like sharing candy and taking care of animals and going on silly dates, to more blatant portrayals of the depth of their love like Alice cupping Edgar’s hand to her cheek when he was vulnerable, or Edgar straight up betraying his only family to save her.
Alice’s circumstances of being someone from another world really complimented Edgar’s character. Edgar is a character who lived in a gilded cage his entire life--trapped by his occupation and bound by dirty blood. He’s never once known freedom or has ever had any agency over his life, but Alice shatters that equation. Alice is completely unrelated to the Red Army, or Cradle entirely. She knows nothing about his occupation or his history, and so Edgar is drawn to her because there are no division of titles between them. To her, him being the Jack of Hearts is irrelevant.
He says that without her, he gets “bored”. In the game, he complains that he’s “always bored”. Using “bored” to describe a character usually makes that character seem fickle and that they can’t be serious about anything because everything is just a means to kill time. But in the context of Edgar’s character, “bored” really means “dull”, “lifeless”, or “forced to find happiness through short lived and temporary means”. He copes with his oppression and lack of freedom by chalking up all of his feelings as just boredom. And he’s not wrong-- a life where you can’t make any of your own choices or choose your own path is indeed, very boring.
He constantly calls Alice his “special guest” which on top of being an adorable nickname, carries really heavy connotations. She’s an ethereal guest from another world, from outside of Edgar’s tiny world which he always wanted to expand. I LOVED the scene where Alice says she would like to take Edgar to London with her one day, because it’s the first time you see Edgar start to doubt his world. He’s accepted that his world is small and oppressive, but the first time, it’s almost like Edgar entertains the idea of breaking free from his bird cage.
I want to compliment the relationship development between the two, which was WONDERFULLY paced, something that pitifully cannot necessarily be said about in some of the other routes. Them falling in love felt very natural and the writers did not have to rely on shallow monologues like “he breathed in my direction, what is this feeling in my chest?!” to convince me that they were in love with each other. And when the admittance of love finally happens, it happens at very pivotal moments in the story that just makes the scene so much more emotional.
Freaking 3k+ words and I still don’t think I did Edgar’s route justice. His route was amazingly written, and Edgar is an amazingly multifaceted and endearing character. Best boy truly got best route.
Anyway I’m almost done Loki’s route; Ray is next. After that, the routes I’m REALLY looking forward to and hope do not disappoint are: Harr, Seth, Kyle, and Luka.
115 notes
·
View notes
Text
Matthew Murdock x Reader : Love Is Blind
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Notes: I once had this idea back in 2016 (yikes) and today I wrote it down. I even send this thing in to a popular imagine blog back then.
Summary: Reader is invited to her aunt’s yearly christmas party and she asks Matt to pretend to be her boyfriend for the evening to avoid her evil cousins making fun of her even more.
Word Count: 3126 words
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The last few weeks you had dreaded opening your mailbox and taking calls. You knew the moment would come, as it does every year.
One morning you went to get your daily post and found an envelope. You recognised the handwriting immediately and your heart sank.
This was it, the invitation. Every year your aunt would invite you to her yearly christmas party. And every year, you hated it. It wasn't your aunt's fault, your cousins however were a different thing.
They were like the cruel step sisters in Cinderella. In short, they were bullies. Mean to anyone who they believed to be unworthy.
You opened the envelope to find a beautiful white card decorated with glitter. Your aunt had good taste when it came to these things, she had even used a stamp with kittens on it.
As you read the card you realised your mistake. She was not just inviting you, but also the boyfriend you had mentioned once on the phone to her. You had broken up with said boyfriend a while ago.
"Great" you sighed. Now your cousins would certainly make your evening a nightmare. You used to hang out with them when you were younger, but you realised soon that all they did was bring you down. The last straw was one of them seducing your then boyfriend. It made you feel so bad that you have felt insecure since then. You knew they were pretty, everyone knew and so did they. You didn't stand a chance against them when it came to men.
You really didn't want them to know that you were still single. And then you decided to do something risky.
You found yourself standing in front of the door of Matt's apartment. You had been friends for 2 years now, and you were about to ask him a big favor. There was the possibility of him refusing or even laughing at your question, but anything was better then facing those evil brats alone.
You knew Matt's hightened senses would have alerted him to you being there so you knocked.
The door opened almost right away.
" (y/n). Hi, I wasn't expecting you. You wanna come in ?" He motioned for you to step inside.
You were nervous on how to ask this thing "Hi, Matt. Sorry I didn't call before coming here."
He closed the door once you were inside "Don't worry about it. It's good to see you." He smiled at you "Do you want something to drink."
"You got any beer ?" You blurted out and he seemed a bit suprised.
"Wow. Sure, I didn't take you for an early drinker." He walked to his fridge to grab a bottle.
"Yeah, sorry. I'm just a bit stressed today." You walked around the room a bit, hoping to calm your nerves.
He opened the bottle of beer and handed it to you "Something I can help with?" He sounded worried.
You fumbled with the bottle for a bit before taking a sip "About that...that's actually why i'm here."
He walked over to you "I had a feeling there was something."
"You mean you heard my heart playing like a drummer?"
He let out a chuckle and nodded "Well, yeah. Tell me, (y/n). What's this about?"
Your fingers were tapping on the bottle "My aunt...uh.. she holds this big party every christmas eve. And she expects me to be there of course. Only this year she expects me to bring someone along."
He had a confused expression " (y/n), I don't really understa-"
"I am asking you to accompany me to the party." You blurted it out before you would be too scared to ask.
His brows shot up "So, you're asking me out ?" He stammered.
You waved your hand "No, not exactly...”
“You want me to be your chaperone then ?” his voice wary.
You bit your lip, this was getting really awkward “I'm asking you to pretend to be my boyfriend for the evening."
"Oh." He tilted his head "I feel honored that you are asking me, but why exactly do you need a 'fake' boyfriend ?" He was holding in a laugh.
You rubbed you arm "I kind of forgot to tell them I broke up with my last boyfriend and now they want me to bring him to the party."
“Auwtch.” he cringed “ Why don't you tell your aunt now?”
You took another sip of the beer “ It's complicated. But please, Matt, please help me out. This is very important to me and I'll owe you one, Please ?” you pleaded.
He let his hands rest on his sides and let out a breath “Alright. I'll do it.”
You nearly jumped from excitement when he agreed to accompany you “Thank you so, so much, Matt.” You took three steps before you hugged him. “You just saved me.”
He put a hand on your back and patted “You're very welcome, (y/n).”
You let go off him and headed to the door “I'll call you soon to give you the details and time. Okay?”
“Sounds good.” he chuckled. “See you soon, (y/n).”
You waved, knowing that he would sense it before you left his apartment.
That went better than expected, at least you wouldn't have to show up at the party alone now.
The day of the party had come and you were putting on the dress you had spent hours looking for in the many stores that you had visited. The dress wasn't cheap, this time you wanted to dress to impress. You wondered how your cousins would react to you arriving with Matt.
Even they would realise Matt was handsome, the thought of him being your company for the evening made you smile.
You brushed your hands over your dress, smoothing it out while looking in the mirror one last time.
You took a cab to your aunt's place, and made the cab stop around the corner where Matt was waiting for you. You tipped the driver and got out.
Matt had dressed up for the occasion, wearing a tuxedo and bow tie.
“Bow tie, huh ?” you said as you walked to him.
He touched the bow tie for a moment “ What ? Don't tell me I don't look good with it. I know you would be lying.”
“Alright, smartass. So, you ready for this?” you clapped your hands together.
He gave a quick nod and turned his cane between his fingers “I am. You ?” he asked you as you took hold of his arm.
“Not really, but duty calls.” you stated.
He laughed at your remark “Come on, how bad can it be ?”
“You have no idea..” you murmured.
“What do we tell them if they ask how we met? I don't think we can tell them that you hit me in the head because you thought I was a burglar.” his sarcasm was evident.
You rolled your eyes “First of all, that's what you get for climbing through people's windows in the middle of the night. Second, we will tell them we met at Josie's bar.”
“Got it. And you and I both know I climbed through your window to safe your life from the real burglar.” he corrected you.
“I know, I know. And once again, thank you for saving my life.” you were almost at your aunt's house.
“I am glad I did. Even if you hit me.”
You groaned “Can we just drop that subject, Matt ?”
He laughed and put his hand on your arm as you guided him.
You were in front of the door of your aunt's residence, feeling yourself panic.
“(y/n).” Matt squeezed your arm a bit “Breath.”
With that you drew a deep breath and exhaled. You couldn't back out now.
You rang the doorbell, you were holding on to Matt tightly.
The door went open and you were met by the wide smile your aunt was displaying on her face.
“(y/n) !!!! I am so glad you are here !!!” she held out her arms for a hug and you hugged her.
“Look at you, you've grown !” she beamed.
You shook your head and let out a chuckle “Auntie, you say that every year. And every year I stay the same height.”
She looked at Matt now “Oh my, who is this ?” she gave you a meaningful look.
“Oh, this is-” you started.
Matt held out his hand to her “Matthew Murdock, but please, call me Matt.” his voice smooth and he gave your aunt a smile that looked like he was posing for a magazine.
She seemed to be startled a bit as she took his hand to shake it.
“Well, I am glad you decided to join us this evening, Matt. (y/n) tends to be very discreet about her relationships so I am glad to see that she has indeed good taste. Like me, for example.” she claps her hands together “Aw just look at you two, so young and so in love. It reminds me of me and your uncle when we were young.”
Tears were welling up in your aunt's eyes as she spoke and reminisced about the past. Part of you felt guilty for lying now. But your aunt seemed to be so happy to see you, to see Matt.
“Oh lord, what am I doing, please come inside!” she held the door open so you and Matt could walk inside. “The party is in the garden, I thought it would be better as there are more people then last year.”
“Good thinking, auntie.” you told her as you and Matt made your way to the garden. Your mouth fell open when you stepped into the garden “Wow.” you breathed.
Your aunt had spared no expense this time, there was a large white tent in the middle of the garden that was covering the tables.
There were fairylights all over the tent and the garden. It was beautiful.
“What does it look like ?” Matt asked you and you realise he couldn't actually see it the way you saw it.
“Like a fairytale. There are small soft lights everywhere, and loads of christmas ornaments placed around the garden.” you told him as you walked to the people in the garden.
“Your aunt has good taste in food.” he stated and you looked at him confused before it dawned on you.
“Already after my aunt's apple pie, huh?” you nudged him.
The smile was wiped off your face quickly as you saw your cousins approach the both of you.
Their eyes fell on Matt for a little too long to not be obvious “Well, look who's here. (y/n), love the dress, the color is a bit last season though.” she said.
“But we know you don't keep up with fashion, bless your heart.” the other chimed in.
You swallowed when you heard their remarks “Good to see you guys too.” you feigned a smile.
“Aren't you going to introduce us to your friend ?” they were both eyeing up Matt at this point.
You shook your head “Of course, this is Matt. My.. boyfriend.” saying it felt... odd.
They stared at you in disbelieve “Your boyfriend ?” one of them asked.
“That's correct.” Matt now held out his hand to them “I'm (y/n)'s boyfriend. Pleased to meet you.” you noticed the tone of Matt's voice had changed.
They both shook his hand a little too long, and you started to feel irritated.
“Attention everyone !!!!” you heard your aunt's voice “Please make your way over to the tables, dinner is being served.”
“I guess we will be getting to know each other better over dinner then.” your cousin said to Matt and both your cousins were giggling as they walked away.
At this point you already wanted to leave this party, but you didn't want to disappoint your aunt, knowing how much work she must have put into all of this.
“I'm starting to understand why you asked me to come with you.” Matt said as you walked with him to the tables.
You didn't answer, you were too upset already. Somehow seeing your cousins flirt with Matt like that made you feel miserable. Old memories of them taking away all the boys you once had a crush on were resurfacing. Why was this bothering you so much ? Matt was your friend, it's not like he was really your boyfriend. This was as close to a relationship you would ever get with Matt, a pathetic lie.
Not like you stood a chance against any of your cousins now that they had aimed their arrows on him.
You leaded Matt to a place at the table that wasn't too close to your cousins, yet still close enough to hear them sadly.
Matt stopped you by holding your arm and pulled the chair from the table for you.
“Thank you.” you sat down. He folded up his cane and took place next to you.
“Is your aunt's apple pie as good as it smells ?” his mood was merry. The opposite of your own.
You shrugged your shoulders “It is.”
You sat in silence, making circles in your soup with the spoon. You had lost your appetite quicker than last year.
Matt tried to make some small talk with your uncle who was sitting next to him, often trying to get you to join the conversation. His attempts were in vain.
The table was filled with people talking about different topics and at one point it got a bit quieter and that's when you heard it.
Your cousins were clearly gossiping about you, at first you tried to ignore it, as you had always done. But then you heard it.
“She can only get a guy if he's blind.” one of them said.
It felt as if the air was punched out of you. You bit the inside of your cheek, and put the spoon you were holding down.
Matt had tilted his head to the side.
You shoved the chair you were sitting on back, you had to get away from everyone as you felt yourself starting to shake.
“(y/n)...” Matt's hand was on yours instantly.
“I'm... I'm just going to the bathroom. I'll be right back.” your voice was wobbly when you spoke.
He let go off your hand, he didn't seem pleased.
You got up from the table and made your way inside the house, you closed the door and were standing in the kitchen now.
The tears you were trying to fight were now falling and you tried to control you sobbing. You walked further in the house, hoping the noise of the party would fade-out the noise of you crying.
You sat down on the steps of the stairs in the house as you tried to control yourself.
The way your cousins had said it hit you hard. The worst part is, they were right. None of the other guys you had once shown interest in had chosen you. None of them. They always choose one of your cousins.
And you hated to think it, but what if Matt had not been blind ?
Would he be like the others and forget about you ?
You let your head fall in your hands and focused on your breathing.
The sound of footsteps almost made you jump, you looked and saw Matt approaching.
Great. Could this evening get any worse ?
“Sometimes I wish you didn't have such a good sense of hearing.” your voice was weak as you spoke.
He walked to you “Sometimes I wish that too. Especially when I hear you cry.”
You wiped your tears away with your hand “I'll be fine, Matt. You should go back to the party, I dragged you here after all.”
He was leaning against the stairs now “You didn't drag me here, (y/n). I wanted to come.”
“You must think I'm pathetic. Making my family believe I actually have a boyfriend.” you scoffed.
“No, (y/n)..” he sighed “I heard what they said back there, about you.” he came to sit next to you on the steps and put a hand on your back.
You burried your head in your hands, you wished he hadn't heard that.
“They are right, Matt.” your voice was wobbly again.
He chuckled lightly “I am pretty sure they are not.”
You groaned “No, Matt. You don't understand.” you shook your head “Every guy I ever dated, every guy I have been remotely interested in, every one of them all chose my cousins over me. And it won't be long before-” you stopped before the words could roll from your mouth.
He noticed your sudden silence “....before what ?”
You breathed in and closed your eyes “Before you choose one of them too and forget all about me.”
Matt fumbled with the cane in his hand before he directed himself to you “You think I will choose someone else over you ?”
His choice of words was odd and it grabbed your attention as you looked at him. You could only nod.
“Permission to speak freely ?” he leaned to you.
You nodded again.
“I'd rather be deaf too than date your cousins, (y/n). Sitting at the table with them was enough.” he smiled at you widely “And... don't take this the wrong way but..”
“Oh god, it never ends well when you start a sentence like that.” you interupted him.
He chuckled and continued “But.. I am glad those other guys choose your cousins.”
You furrowed your brows “Excuse me?”
“No wait..” he held up his hand in defeat, noticing his mistake “I am glad they did. Because if they hadn't, I wouldn't be sitting here with you now. You would be here with some other lucky guy.”
You looked at him as you realised what he was saying.
“What I'm trying to say, in a pretty poor way, is that I wish I was here with you but not as your fake boyfriend.”
“As what then ?” you prayed he was trying to tell you what you thought he was trying to tell you.
“How about next year, we go to your aunt's party, but I'll be your boyfriend for real ?”
“Is this your smooth way of asking me to be your girlfriend, Matt ?” you felt like your heart was going to burst.
“I am doing this poorly, aren't I ?”
You laughed lightly “Why wait 'till next year ?”
A smile spread on both your faces “Good question.” his finger lifted up your chin and his lips brushed yours. “I guess that's a 'yes' then?” he smirked against your lips.
You nodded and he kissed you again.
#matt murdock x reader#Matt Murdock#matthew murdock x reader#daredevil x reader#daredevil!reader#Matt murdock!reader#matthew murdock!reader#reader x matt murdock#reader x matthew murdock#Daredevil netflix#daredevil fanfiction#daredevil reader insert#matt murdock reader
584 notes
·
View notes
Note
PUBLISH THEMM ALL! RISE CHAOTIC RAINY! LET THE FANDOM BURN!
in the words of a wise anon:
“honestly I’m living by best life rn this is a prime fanfic”
man i want j*ckie’s confidence
This weekend is the new Scotland
legit. shout out to vms sigficant others who are forever third wheels. forever following vm to all their joint engagements. watching them be immortalized together. being told they are not invited on the tour bus. not being invited to jeopardy nights either. like what are vm’s so’s even doing?? what’s their purpose?
I love that scott found himself a girl that looks a different person in every pic. How is that even possible lol she should wear a bracelet with her name on it
Yeah, I’m gonna let you play with him for a bit because my man needs lots of lovin’ and I have shit to do. Don’t get comfy. One day, from my perch atop the world, I’ll show up and crook my dainty manicured finger at him. Until then, enjoy.*looks up definition of “being third-wheeled”* “Huh, this is incredibly uncomfortable.” Tomorrow morning: Yes, I’d like a one way ticket back to Florida. No, never returning. *block this number* *delete this number* *fakes own death*
YAS. New game plan bitches: we will this shit to happen. All the positive vibes. We channel our inner Ari and demand that the universe make TS3 happen. TS literally took down the ISU and pulled of the feat of the lifetime. All our collective power must now ensure things go as they should.I genuinely feel like J*ckie is some kind of magical shape shifter because I swear she looks so different in every single photo we see of her.
Since we’re doing songs now… Probably T today looking FAB in her green dress, channeling her inner Zara Larsson: “She doesn’t love you like I do. She doesn’t have my name. However she tries to act like it. She’ll never be the same / She’s not me. She’s not me. She’s not me. Remember. That she’s not me. / Does she have any humor? Does she laugh at your jokes? Can she look past the rumors? Does she know how it goes? Or is it none of my business?”ANON I love how you did those lyrics. Get it hunny!!!!!!Omg I’m laughing like a maniac because my mood until Scott figures everything out (no shade to Jackie at all, she seems nice) I’ll be like Kriss Jenner on the Ariana music video, holding a camara, waiting for my moment to sing “Thank you, next”.
Who are we kidding? This is Scott in his wedding day. Scott: ‘As a surprise for everyone now we are going to show a beautiful video of our love story…’ Scott’s wife: 'Oh honey you didn’t have to…’ Scott: 'Love of my life, Tessa, Tess, T, Tutu, big hands, Virtch, T-bone, this is us’. Scott’s wife: Ok, you really didn’t have to. Scott: ’… of course everything in a platonic way’.
Never realized how shit my identifying white people skills were until this week. Special shout out to my girl TV for always making sure she’s recognizable. Apparently the only white woman I can ID.So glad I’m not the only one that needs the advanced scientific equipment to find Jackie in photos. Sighh
KLawes sat through that partnership award event see them being sickeningly cute and hug each other unfollowed tessa .. For nothing???? Klawes needs Compensation , a bouquet , a vacation in the Bahamas paid by them inductees of the night .
woah macaroni’s dressthis is making me think of that moment in TS3 when the fam was at an event and some chick tried hitting on scott and tessa was like. hi. no. jackie got no idea what’s she’s in her. bless macron mascaras heart. she;s a nurse who helps people. no experience with tessas who out here killing peeps.Wrong shoes for that dress Jackie, maybe Tessa can help you out next time.
Ive gotten the impression that Max has been crushing pretty hard on miz T for A While and honestly I hope his dreams came true tonightI feel thatTessa is so chill right now because deep down she’s like “This shit won’t last” *sips tea while resting her back on her Marvin the Martian pillow*
I was feeling a little down before today but suddenly this has become a glorious mess that I find HILARIOUS!Where are people seeing Jackie’s intense stares?!? I barely even know what she looks like?? Pls help (photo evidence with flashing neon arrows would be greatly appreciated)
Miss marscapone also put her hair extensions in and threw on her faux fur coat to try and give miss Tessa a run for her money
Psstttt Rainy, Macaroni is still marriedare_you_not_entertained-gladiator(.)gif, honestly, because I have never in my almost thirty years of existence seen a turnaround of events quite like this.
Ahh seeing the fandom freak out over nothing before had me like : Bitches yall think ThIs is drama? Like remember all the poor girls that were related to him who the fandom thought was his gf. Now he’s flaunting one at the one of the most imp event of his life while awkwardly shooting heart eyes at his 2nd skating partner . Now kids,THIS is drama , This is prime drama . It wasn’t about finding skating bitches . It was about finding(2) skating partners one of whom would be life partner. guesswho
I tried to be objective but… I CAN’T. There’s something about Jackie that bugs me. I know we barely know the girl but she gives me this awful vibe. Like “I’m here bitches. I return from the aches. You didn’t want me then? Guess what!” *insert evil laughter*[redacted] rhymes with everything. Cacky. Lacky. Sackie. Whackie. Tacky. Smackie. Packie. Hackie. The options are endless.
Seeing Scott with this forced smile and dead eyes makes me feel bad for a couple of seconds than I see Tessa all freaking happy and thriving and I’m like “man are so stupid, deal with it now you dumbass”
Jackie is playing to win. Where is Zach Donohue when you need him “I wouldn’t mess with Tess, she can kill you with the snap of her fingers”.
Which is the fic where one of Scott’s gfs goes ice skating with him and is like “let’s do a lift” and Scott’s inner monologue is like “you’re not gonna know how to hold yourself”? I feel like Jackie is defffff makin him do lifts with her
So I fell sleep last night feeling not so bad, I was like “ok, this is not terrible, I’m fine, better than I expected actually, I could sing Christina Aguilera’s fighter.” Then, this morning, I woke up like “what a silly dream… Oh no. Oh no he didn’t. We can’t allow this. THIS IS THE END. CALL 911, CALL KATNISS EVERDEEN, CALL TUPAC, CALL SOMEONE.”
60 notes
·
View notes
Text
Les Misérables 2018, Episode 2
Welp, Anthony Perkins is not going to be knocked from his pedestal of “Most Brick-Accurate Interpretation of Javert Despite Being Far Too Attractive for the Role” any time soon.
The Good:
• Finally we get an adaptation that will force both us and Valjean to confront the question “Does Petit Gervais deserve the protection of the French criminal justice system, and if not why not?” The miniseries kind of had to do this because it made Valjean’s theft of the coin so much more deliberate than in the book, but it has done it, and not before time. Les Mis fandom has been willfully avoiding this question for years.
�� The Thénardiers were superb. I know Olivia Colman is contractually obliged to appear in every BBC production ever, but her ubiquity is entirely justified here because she may be the best Mme. Thénardier of all time. Thénardier was good too, and that brief flash of violence against Mme. T when she challenged him was a valuable addition, both because it explains a lot about her character and because it foreshadows what he’ll become in Paris. So far we’ve only seen him as a corpse looter, a dodgy innkeeper and an extortionist, but he’s more dangerous than that, and we caught a glimpse of that here. There were some nice subtle touches: the Sergeant of Waterloo sign and the story of Thénardier’s heroism, the fact that the girls only have two good dresses between them (Azelma immediately gets Cosette’s; when they’re showing off Cosette to Victurnien she’s wearing Éponine’s), the inclusion of unloved, adorable baby Gavroche.
• One consequence of Colman’s excellent performance is that Fantine’s choice to leave Cosette at the inn appears quite reasonable, as it should. Fantine did exactly what a young woman traveling alone is supposed to do: she gravitated towards the mother playing with her children because that’s the person who is supposed to be safe. Mme. T was welcoming and sympathetic, though still with a bit of a Thénardiery edge, the little girls played together like sisters, and Fantine’s decision to leave Cosette in this stable, apparently happy environment seems entirely natural. She had no way to know that wholesome surface was wallpaper over an abyss. The people who can afford the diligence get a recommendation for the other inn, but she had to walk. (The Vimes theory of Yelp reviews.)
• Having Fantine walk in on Madeleine’s mayoral inauguration was a clever way to handle that exposition in theory, although slightly clunky in practice.
• Madeleine is so awkward. His speeches are so bad. His hat and coat are so ugly. <333
• I love every OC in Montreuil. I love the bourgeois who is super excited about Madeleine becoming the mayor (I hereby dub him “Robert”). I love Fantine’s factory friends who gossip about their sexy boss and his bedroom grotto and then run to get him to rescue their fallen coworker from evil cops. I even love the public letter writer with his creepy but pragmatic advice. I imagine he’s been witness to a lot of human misery and has developed that cynicism and dark humor you often see in people in frontline emergency services.
• I don’t love Mme. Victurnien, but that’s her, all right.
• This adaptation is doing an excellent job with Fantine’s illiteracy, and has been since the first episode. The skin-crawling awfulness of having to conduct your most private, personal business through the public letter writer and have him know and comment on all of it really comes through.
• The police are all in plainclothes and basically look like a gang of thugs. This adaptation has really grasped the 1820s French police aesthetic. I also appreciated how hostile and judgey everyone at the Prefecture was towards Javert.
• I don’t know what it says about Davies that the characters he can most consistently write well are the asshole fuckboys, but Bamatabois was great.
Also I don’t think I’ve seen a Fantine beat up a Bamatabois this bad since 1934 when she put his head through a glass window. As in the 1934 adaptaion, this creates a minor problem with the narrative because it means she really is guilty of a serious assault and Javert is right to arrest her, but you’d have to have a heart of stone not to enjoy seeing Bamatabois punched repeatedly in the face. I do not have a heart of stone.
• I’m choosing to believe that Javert’s handshake following his resignation is a little nod to readers of the novel, who know as well as he does that a legitimate magistrate has not taken the hand of a spy.
• Nice fake jet manufacturing process in Valjean’s factory: they even included the gum-lac. The flag at the Prefecture of Police is the white fleur-de-lys, not the tricolor. They really are putting tremendous effort into getting some of the little details right.
• This adaptation’s sense of place continues to be excellent. Montreuil-sur-Mer has its steep hill; during Madeleine’s inauguration you can even see the Canche. The soldiers from the garrison are a ubiquitous background presence. The Prefecture of Police in Paris looks like the old headquarters at the Rue de Jérusalem, which if it wasn’t a happy accident shows a truly remarkable degree of historical research and commitment to accuracy. (They then proceeded to cover it up with that hideous red font, truly the ‘YELLOW’ of this adaptation.)
The Meh
• If you must go with a “Javert immediately makes a positive identification of Valjean” plot their first meeting wasn’t a disaster, I guess. There was some decent dramatic tension. I appreciated Madeleine’s initial cunning plan to stare out the window for the entire rest of his life so that Javert couldn’t look him in the face, before realizing that this probably wasn’t going to work. The little slip where he called Javert ambitious and betrayed his prior knowledge of him was good.
• Why does every person in this adaptation have a ridiculous and implausible horse? Why does Javert have a horse to ride to Paris, which is far enough away that you’d need to change horses and you should probably just take the diligence, but not to Arras, which is within riding distance?
The horses are elevated from “bad” to “meh” by the fact that Valjean’s palomino is gorgeous, though very unlikely to exist in northern France in 1823, and if he must ride an implausible horse it might as well be an anachronistically pretty one. Also by Valjean and Javert’s fraught moonlit horseback encounter, which is obviously what an adaptation should do with its ridiculous horses if it insists on having them.
• The Chief Inspector in Paris was neither Chabouillet nor attractive, nor did he have any fun hierarchical tension with Javert. Boo.
• This adaptation is sure going hard on the Valjean/Fantine vibes, huh. I don’t hate it, which probably counts as an enormous accomplishment for the miniseries. I think it manages not to come off as gross mainly because Madeleine is so incredibly awkward that it’s impossible to imagine it ever progressing to the point of a sexual relationship. Fantine smiles at Madeleine because she’s so relieved to have found a safe harbor. After an internal struggle Madeleine manages to smile back because that’s what you’re supposed to do when people smile at you, right??? and she’s so powerless that she’s the only adult in Montreuil he doesn’t find threatening. In a decade or two they might progress all the way to reciprocal “Good mornings” when she comes in to work. That’s as far as this is going to go.
• Sadly this vision of social harmony and human connection will never be realized, because Fantine got fired. Specifically she got fired by Valjean for added drama. I know people are up in arms about this, but honestly I think it’s fine? At the end of the day it is Valjean’s sexist policy that costs Fantine her job and his chosen supervisor who implements it. The franc stops with him. Having him fire her himself just makes his responsibility a little more apparent. I don’t think it’s necessary to depict it this way, but it’s fine. Adaptations do this sometimes. In 2012 something very similar happens, where Valjean is too distracted by Javert to deal with the Fantine Baby Drama and lets a malicious subordinate call the shots. The Original French Concept Album has Valjean fire her directly without any excuse for his behavior at all, and nobody thinks the musical is a irredeemable character-ruining travesty of an adaptation– well, one guy.
• Shouty Valjean is not doing anything for me but he’s not catastrophic either. It is unfortunate that most of the people he interacts with in this episode, and therefore most of the people he shouts at, are female, but we know from Episode 1 that he’s equally happy to shout at bishops who have just saved him from a lifetime sentence of forced labor. Westjean is an equal opportunity shouter.
The decision to portray Valjean’s saintliness as a constant effort that slips whenever he’s stressed is an unusual one, and certainly not Brick-accurate (Brick Valjean’s saintliness is a constant effort that almost never slips), but I don’t think we should dismiss it out of hand. Television needs to externalize internal conflicts in some way, and I can’t say this is a less artistically valid method than eg. I Miserabili’s tendency to have everyone monologue all the time. We’ll have to see where they go with it.
• Valjean didn’t refuse Javert’s resignation. The resignation scene is so weird that I’ve decided I’m actually okay with this, because it’s really very unclear what Javert’s is resigning over. Is it the “false” denunciation? Is it the argument over Fantine, which he also apologizes for? Has all this turmoil just made him reconsider his life choices, and he’s decided to emigrate to America and become a paddleboat pilot on the Mississippi? Who knows! Valjean has a moral responsibility to stop Javert falling on his sword over the denunciation, but not to keep him on the police force. If Javert is going to be this vague, it’s his problem.
• The Burning Coin of Shame was so melodramatic Hugo’s ghost is presumably kicking himself for not making Valjean pick it up in the novel. I don’t hate it, but when you’ve out-melodrama’d Hugo it may be time to take a step back.
The Bad
• That red font looks worse every time I see it.
• Valjean’s godforsaken ponytail. WHY. It’s not even attractive! Who the fuck decided to lift every aesthetic decision from the 2012 movie except for the period appropriate hair!?
• Speaking of period appropriate hair, your prospective employers might be less likely to assume you’re a slut if you put it up like a respectable woman instead letting it flop all over the place like a prostitute, Fantine.
• I don’t love Fantine’s intake interview. There are ways they could have depicted the factory’s morality policy without making Madeleine come off like such a nosy sexist asshole, and Davies should have found one. Being the nosy sexist asshole is Victurnien’s job. Madeleine is meant to be the paternalistic, well-meaning sexist asshole.
• The Brick glides over Marius’s childhood in a few sentences, so I appreciate there is a difficulty in finding incidents to fill the Pontmercy sections in these early episodes. TOO BAD. You decided to merge the timelines, Davies; it was self-evident that this was going to be the major problem with that approach when you did it. THIS IS THE LIFE YOU HAVE CHOSEN. Go over the novel with a fine-toothed comb or make some shit up, but it was your responsibility to fill this gap somehow.
Killing off Georges Pontmercy ten years early is not a solution.
a) You gave us Hot Sad Dad Pontmercy and then tore him away from us two episodes before you needed to. HOW DARE.
b) The Marius timeline in the Brick makes sense. His father dies, he finds out Georges loved him from Mabeuf, he starts researching his dad and Napoleon and grows estranged from his grandfather, Gillenormand kicks him out of the house, he meets Bossuet and Courfeyrac. Marius’s internal growth, the timeline and the plot all work together as a cohesive whole. Fuck knows how any of that is going to work out now.
c) Marius is still going to be a child next week, so killing off Georges didn’t even solve the problem, it just postponed it for the space of a single episode.
d) The gap wouldn’t even have been that hard to fill! Georges could have fought with the prosecutor about his decoration and spied on Marius at church or something. It would have given us a chance to meet Mabeuf properly. Fuck this bullshit so much.
• This is a minor thing, but there should be women at Gillenormand’s table. Ancien Régime salon culture was run by women; the exclusion of women from male political and social life in France was a nineteenth century invention. The Brick is very clear about this – Gillenormand generally hangs around with Baroness T. History has enough sexism in it already. There’s no need to invent more.
• I have no objections to Valjean firing Fantine in person, but the toy bird introduces a pretty serious flaw in Victurnien’s “She’s a callous whore who doesn’t care about her child” case, one you’d think Valjean might notice. There’s no reason for it even to appear in that scene! Have the Tories cut the BBC’s budget so much they can’t afford script editors?
• Gosh those are some bright, white street lamps they have in Montreuil. I wonder what sort of oil burns with such a constant flame?
• If Davies wanted to dissociate his adaptation from the musical, a good first step might have been to spend much less time with the campy tooth and wig guy. Fantine’s plot arc was actually fairly good up until that point, but after that it really did devolve into misery porn.
• Oyelowovert has a very pretty face. What he does not have is any coherent motivation for his behavior in this episode.
Javert’s plotline was such a fucking disaster in this that I gave it its own post.
• If Davies insists on doing this stupid Arras entrapment plot, the least he could do is give us a Robert and a Genflou to make up for it. Well, we got a Robert but not a Genflou, and I’m mad.
This episode was a mix of the sublime and the grotesque, and therefore, in a certain sense, truly worthy of Victor Hugo. But Gavroche is going to have a lot of work to do at the barricade to make up for this mess.
19 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
luckyisethan
My Story So Far:
themi-lk
milk
aboundpetsupplies
Abound Pet Supplies
kitschafterdark
Kitschafterdark