#TBH. i see people do this with his wheelchair too. which is just as bad
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ok. sorry to post discourse here but continuing to quietly seethe about it is unproductive & will eventually make me explode. so.
here is why I have come to really hate the cane user goodtimeswithscar headcanon!
(first of all, a disclaimer; I'm aware that Scar doesn't care about people portraying him in fanworks with or without his irl disability. I'm not white knighting for him. This rant is on the behalf of myself & my disabled friends who have similar feelings on it.)
Because Scar is disabled in real life, a lot of fans also want to portray his character as disabled in fanart too. Which is awesome! not a bad thing!
It is difficult though. Scar, playing Minecraft, is piloting an effectively able-bodied character. With his disability & the tech available in real life, IRL-Scar wouldn't be able to navigate the world the way he does in game.
To portray character-Scar as disabled in the same way he is in real life would be to massively change how Hermitcraft and Minecraft as a game function. Which I think I've seen some people figure out how to do! Which is awesome! But obviously, it's not an easy thing to do.
So it seems that the thought process of many artists is, okay, so I can't make him as disabled as he is in real life. But I still want to portray him as disabled for representation!
So boom, a cane, a simple and obvious visual indicator of disability to draw character-Scar with! ...which doesn't require thinking about how his disability would impact him in-world, at all.
Of the people who do this, I've only once seen anyone talk about about what Scar's disability is, how it affects his life, how he functions with it and how it limits him. I hope it's needless to say that if you haven't put any thought into how a character is disabled, then... that isn't a disabled character.
Beyond that, many artists who draw Scar as a cane user will only include it when it's easy. It's not so simple to mine, or build, or have an archer superhero persona, or run around the server in general with a cane. So as soon as the context makes it inconvenient, the cane is gone, making it essentially a prop, not a genuine disability aid. (Of course, there are ambulatory cane users. But it's real obvious if the cane being there or not in art is completely based on convenience.)
When the headcanon is used like this, it isn't to show a genuinely disabled character. It's just for the look of one, which can be forgotten whenever it doesn't suit the context.
Scar is a very popular character. And this headcanon is getting more and more common. There isn't any getting away from it short of blocking Scar tags entirely. The constant message I feel like I'm getting from this fandom is that cane users — like myself — are just the version of disability that's easier to ignore.
I know people who do this aren't trying to cause harm, or purposefully being ableist. But it still is. Giving a character the watered-down aesthetic of disability while still being effectively able bodied isn't representation. It sucks, and imo it's better to portray Scar as non-disabled than to do this.
(And yes, I know this isn't always how it goes. Some people who headcanon Scar as a cane user do write him as genuinely disabled, especially people who are projecting their own disability. No salt to them, this isn't who the post is directed at.)
So. my points are these, I guess.
please. please don't just slap a cane on your Scar design and go Yay representation! it doesn't work like that.
In general, if you want to write or draw a disabled character, you need to spend time thinking about what their disability is and how it impacts their life. And show it.
If you're going to take away a character's disability whenever it isn't convenient then just. don't make a disabled character at all.
#sorry. im angry and exhausted.#discourse#scar#goodtimeswithscar#the tag is big enough they can handle me maintagging this.#hermitcraft discourse#ableism#fandom ableism#TBH. i see people do this with his wheelchair too. which is just as bad#but i do think its more common with the cane and also i need to let this post go or ill be here forever#🌙
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HeyI have a question for my fave kdramatual 🥰 Have you ever watched a drama and noy enjoyed it? I always see you write beautiful things in the tags but I don't know if you've already had a not so fond memory about a drama.
hello anon, very happy to be called that 💜
I'm glad you're enjoying what I'm saying about the shows I love but yes that has definitely happened haha (and I'm taking this ask as an opportunity to do some complaining) Tbh there are many dramas I've watched and not talked about a lot on here because I'm often in-between watching airing dramas and watching ones that are already over and for those I don't really reblog/talk that much so if don't like them I'm more likely to just move on and not think about them again lol. And if I don't like a drama or get too bored even when I skip a lot I usually just drop it (ex: I dropped "our beloved summer" quite early on it just wasn't doing anything for me at all; I really liked the beginning of "do you liked brahms" but it felt too slow for me towards the end so I gave up (it clearly was meant to be slow and that's not a bad thing I just couldn't do it); I loved the beginning of "something in the rain", I was captivated but then it was so dark with how controlling the mother was despite the fact that the main character was grown up and all the obstacles to their relationship I just stopped and later on watched the last episode to see if they got back together lol).
But there have been a few dramas where I've really liked one or a few things about it and then disliked the rest so I've been torn because I kept watching for just one thing and skippking a lot of the rest. For example in "strong woman do bong soon" - which is the first drama I've watched - the main romance/two main characters were cute but the rest was way too much and over the top and unnecessary (what even was that mafia plot) and often offensive (her mother was hitting her father but it was turned as a joke, one of her colleague was such an awful gay caricature) so I would not recommend it; "imitation" was just weird because the main conflict of the show that really set off the characters on their present path - a trainee being brought to suicide and as a result her secret boyfriend leaving his very famous group and her trainee group's debut being delayed and how that impacted many other people and the pressures put on idols - wasn't actually the main plot which was about one of the guy from the famous group a few years later and a trainee from another company dealing with her debut and their romance so I was left with many questions and a lot of frustration; in "so I married an antifan" the main relationship was quite fun and kept surprising me positively despite the situation that the main character was in which was quite hopeless but they had one of the most annoying vilain ever I just ended up skipping his scenes he made me sooo angry and he kept getting worse - he beat up the main guy and manipulated his girlfriend as her boss and then slapped her ! - and they resolved it by him getting hit by a car as he tried to protect his girlfriend and then ending up in a wheelchair with his girlfriend taking care of him which made me so angry omg
Also amongst the shows I've giffed I really liked "dali and the cocky prince" for the two leads and their relationship and like two supporting characters and the comedy but omg did this show hate the main character she was given so much tragedy and pain and no break - and as a result not as much personality as the male lead tbh - and the vilain made me want to just turn my computer off everytime he came on screen and the male lead's family was just annoying annoying annoying and no change to be redeemed and way too much screentime ugh, "forecasting love and weather" started off sooo great omg the romance was so hot and it kept highlighting how marriage impacted women's lives and careers and independence etc but it just never lived up to its beginning and gave way too much importance to the annoying secondary characters who had cheated on the main characters and who clearly were not mature or in love enough to get married (and even less to have a baby omg and they didn't even let her go through with an abortion despite her wanting one and instead we were supposed to be happy about her working until the day she gives birth so she doesn't lose her job??) while the main couple could barely spend time together or actually communicate and they kept so much distance and kept dragging things and ugh that was a real let down I would not recommend it
I had a fun time remembering things to complain about (and there are some more) lol what about your own bad experiences with dramas?
#also I'm guessing even if we're mutuals you're too shy to come off anon but please don't hesitate to share your thoughts and everything 💜#anonymous#kdrama#I've got mail
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Heyo, this is my first time asking (im kinda new to tumblr, so please dont judge) if you would'nt mind, could you do some headcannons (or oneshots, it dosen't matter) with all the demon bros and a MC who is crippled/paralized in their legs, and has to use a wheelchair to get around? Thank you!!
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This is the first time I’ve written about a crippled MC, so I hope I didn’t fuck this up or anything. I found out that being paralysed in both legs is a disability called Paraplegia so that’s how I titled this post. And y’all are too sweet, you are more than welcome anon! I hope I can portray this properly because I am not crippled myself so I’ve opted to do some research before writing this! I hope you like it! Also, I feel inclined to add that none of the brothers would treat you too differently if you happen to have a disability because you’re their human nonetheless :)
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The Brothers with an MC that has Paraplegia and needs a wheelchair to get around:
Lucifer:
-Lucifer was in charge of choosing the final human, exchange student for the program so it’s guaranteed he already knew about your predicament before you even arrived
-Him and Diavolo probably had many meetings concerning your disability before the program could commence, considering that being unable to walk would double the chances of you getting killed since you are obviously more vulnerable
-Not to mention all the treatment you would require
-Lucifer is not well versed in human illnesses and disorders, but he makes sure that he is educated enough on the matter before you get brought down there
-It would not be easy, but he is determined to help you survive your year in DevilDom for the prince’s sake
-First problem of the day was, of course, your wheelchair
-Due to lack of time, Lucifer was unable to instal ramps around the House of Lamentation which meant that for the first couple of weeks, someone would’ve had to help you move around certain parts of the house
-He gave that highly prestigious job to himself because he didn’t trust his brothers and thought they would accidentally drop you and your wheelchair down the stairs
-He talks a lot to you, even at the beginning, because he needs to establish your needs and what he should do to make sure you don’t die for the following year
-You would have to tell him about physical therapy and how most commonly it uses heat, massage and exercise to stimulate your nerves and muscles, making it a great treatment for people with leg paralysis
-Once you two enter a more intimate and personal relationship, it’s more than likely he’ll help you perform those things himself (instead of kidnapping a human doctor from somewhere)
-Lucifer knows you have no problem getting around with your wheelchair by yourself but there are times where he’ll insist to push you along in order to give you a quick break
-I can totally imagine you two strolling around DevilDom and having cosy chats about RAD and your adjustments to DevilDom
-He has a softer side to him that he’s afraid to show most of the time, but he feels so at ease when you’re around, it’s hard for him to hold that part of him hidden from you
-Of course, your safety still remains his primary concern and he acts more like your guardian than Mammon does, even if he was originally supposed to look out for you
-He will accompany you almost anywhere. And if he can’t, he’ll have one or more of his brothers do it. And even then he’s probably lurking nearby, just in case
-He would always be willing to listen about your condition, if you wished to tell him whether you were born with the defect or why you ended up crippled later in life. Either way, he’s all ears
-If you would rather not speak about it, he wouldn’t pry and respect your decision because he knows it’s not his place to pressure you
-Because of your paralysis, it’s quite obvious to demons that you are even weaker (physically speaking) than most humans and that usually puts a target on your back
-Howver, never fear, because Lucifer is pretty quick to put lower rank demons in their place with just a mere stare
-Oop one of them passed out from the fear, haha
-In conclusion, he’s the most responsible when it comes your comfort and safety during your stay
-He makes sure you are always left in good hands and and provides most of the requirements you need
-Y’all should see how his wings puff up when he senses a threat approaching you, he looks like a peacock ready to go on attack lol
Mammon:
-The second born is unsurprisingly a bit of a jerk at first
-He stays really grumpy the whole day of your arrival because he’s stuck babysitting you stupid human
-“Lucifer c’mon, what’s all this workload for? The human can’t even walk by themselves, why do I have to help them out?”
-Wtf Mammon you can’t say shit like that
-Anyways, the following very few days, the only thing he’s thinking about is how much money he could sell your wheelchair for
-He’s the literal incarnation of greed, what else did you expect from him?
-After a while, he starts feeling a bit guilty every time he thinks about it though
-Mammon is gonna take this secret to the grave (laughs in immortal) but he actually really likes pushing you around
-Maybe it’s because it’s a clear indication to everyone around him that you are HIS human, under HIS protection and therefore you trust HIM the most since he was your FIRST MAN
-He will insist on helping you get out of that thing when you need to go to bed and stuff every night and he will get pouty real fast if you let any of his other brothers do it
-You wake up to him trying to roll around in your wheelchair one night at like 3am
-At some point, he stole a wheelchair from the human realm to match with his human. You can guess the consequences of his actions
-I can imagine you having to face a staircase or something at school and Mammon being like:
-“Fuck it, imma carry this fragile human instead; wheelchair and all!”
-Like you were a sack of potatoes or something smh
-Cue his brothers watching him from a distance as he heaves you and basically weight-lifts you up the stairs
-Ok but every now and again, he gets so sad thinking about you not being able to walk, like he starts crying kinda sad
-While you stand there like 😐 “Why are you crying?”
-He’s so quick to help if he senses you’re in danger too
-It’s canon that Mammon is crazy fast if he wants to be so if he has even the slightest impression that your life is threatened, his feet are already moving
-He will charge at your immediate threat at around 120 miles per hour-do not try him when he’s mad
-“The Great Mammon saved the day! C’mon MC, let’s go buy some ice cream. My treat! Ya better be grateful!”
-He says while the demon that tried to eat you lies on the floor with about a dozen broken bones
-Mammon is the second most powerful demon out of all of his brothers, even if he doesn’t resort to violence often
Levi:
-He didn’t really know how to react when you first teleported to DevilDom
-I mean, from the very beginning he considered you to be a human normie but at the same time, he felt bad you were stuck with his brothers for the rest of the year
-I think he would understand you would have an even harder time integrating yourself in their house because of your disability and he knows his siblings are really fucking annoying, always pushing you around and whatnot
-So, he kinda lets you hide in his room quite often
-You guys chill out in there all the time, much to the dismay of the other brothers who also want to spend time with you
-At some point, Levi definitely begged asked Lucifer to let you start online classes with him
-“But wouldn’t it be easier for MC to do online school from home rather than go to R.A.D since there aren’t any ramps or anything around there???”
-“The answer is no Leviathan.”
-“Ugh fine! What a fucking boomer-“
-For some reason, he gets so flustered whenever you ask him to push you around
-He blushes right to the tips of his ears and then he starts sputtering some nonsense that you can’t make out at all
-But he’s more than happy to do it, especially if you guys are going to a convention or if he’s dragging you out to buy new merch
-You two would get along in the sense that Levi realises the struggles you faced all your life were tough to overcome and he believes you are just like him
-Usually left out by other people, ignored even
-He knows you always listen to him ramble on about whatever he is currently obsessed with and how much you check up on him to make sure he never isolated himself
-He wants to do that for you too! Talk to him about your hobbies, please I’m begging you-he feels so bad whenever he’s doing all the talking
-If you ask him to help you with anything (getting something, helping you into bed—that sort of thing), he legally and physically can’t say ‘no’
-And he would get envious enough to stop talking to you for a day or two if you let his brothers do it instead (the second and third born are indeed similar lmao)
-S T A Y I N H I S R O O M, W H E R E Y O U C A N B E P R O T E C T E D !
-He will feel so much more at ease if you’re in his room because to him, that’s his haven
-If you’re in there with him, that means you’re not getting involved in his siblings’ endless and dangerous shenanigans
-Whenever you’re at school, he can’t help but worry about your well-being
-Because you’re human! You’re gonna get killed!! Do you know how much your organs sell on the black market in DevilDom??? 100x more than in the human realm, that’s for sure
-Would they have a black market or would it be a regular market lol
-For some reason, he also likes staying in your wheelchair when you’re not using it
-I think he just takes comfort in knowing it’s something that belongs to you and smells like you and-
-OK Levi, sit back down
-He wouldn’t treat you any differently if you had a disability tbh, but he’d be more concerned because you can’t even run away or anything
-So he’s so fuckin’ relieved when you guys are just vibing in his room
-He could die happy knowing he kept his best friend/ partner safe
Satan:
-Satan would be even more prepared for your arrival than Lucifer would, in a sense
-Out of all of his brothers, he’s most likely to understand and recognise paraplegia (either from studying human illnesses/birth defects/disabilities or from encountering humans with said disability)
-He’s a smart boy, alright?
-Always seems to be the first to notice if you need help or if someone’s bothering you
-Though in the very beginning, he was pretty tempted to just let you get killed to see how angry Lucifer could get
-Seeing dear Luci’s misery brings him great joy 🥰🥰🥰
-Once you two manage to build a very honest and strong relationship, he feels more and more inclined to keep you out of harm’s way
-Pls, he would feel so honoured if you let him push you around (it’s like you asked him to h*ld h*nds or something)
-If you require treatment of any kind, he would be so happy to help
-But in a subtle way...?
-Satan makes it seem so smooth too like he doesn’t mind lending a helping hand when in reality he’s all giddy inside
-*Kinda wants to rub it in his brothers’ faces but at the same no, because he’s definitely the bigger person here
-He wants to know how your wheelchair works
-It’s got all of these neat mechanisms and he wants to learn how they’re constructed because he never had the chance to inspect one before
-He’s such a sweetheart about asking you as well and never pries about your disability unless you start elaborating yourself
-Most of the time, he acts all charming and very gentleman-like
-So people have a hard time spotting and acknowledging the building rage inside of him every time he sees you are threatened by some moronic low rank demon
-Satan’s usually chill when it comes to injuries, unless he can see you’re in horrible pain
-There’s nothing a few spells can’t accomplish
-But when others purposefully try harming you?
-It’s like he loses all the self control he’s been trying to perfect over the centuries and he can’t help himself from at least breaking someone’s rib cage
-Satan’s a weird one because he’s protective of you even though he’s more on the relaxed side when compared to his siblings
-He very much acknowledges that you made it this far in life with your predicament so he doesn’t feel the need to baby you or anything
-You’re strong and he knows this
-It’s one of the many things he clearly loves about you
-That one time you rolled over Mammon’s foot with your wheelchair on purpose, he was wheezing
Asmo:
-Even now, he can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be stuck inside a wheelchair for the rest of his eternal life
-I mean, he’d obviously still be absolutely fabulous, have you seen him? He’s gonna be gorgeous either way
-But after the two of you meet, he definitely starts thinking about how he takes his feet for granted all the time
-It would be so difficult to complete his daily tasks without the ability to walk or run around
-That’s why he gets sad every time he remembers that’s your reality and on days like that, you’ve noticed he gives you a helluva lot more attention than usual
-He knows you don’t need pity or anything so he’s just making sure his human has all the support they can get
-Paraplegia or not, shopping trips are still a go-go
-He loves buying you clothes! And he loves helping you try them on! Asmo takes it very seriously
-Might have a go at the employees if they’re being rude to you
-You don’t even ask him to, but he subconsciously starts pushing you around himself whenever the two of you are out together
-“MC! Look at that new shop that’s just opened! Isn’t it adorable? We have to check it out!”
-He can’t help it! There’s so many places he wants to visit, he sort of just drags you with him wherever he goes
-Even at home, he always pops out of nowhere to coax you into coming to his room
-Y’all have so many skin routines to do each day
-Like he’s in your room most nights to greet you goodnight and tuck you in, with the rest of his brothers it gets so awkward at times
-Asmo just wants to see you smile, ok? He thinks you have a beautiful smile and laugh and he wants to remind you that you’re marvellous, disability or not
-And if anyone does anything to put an end to your self confidence, he will swiftly put an end to their life
-Please, he’s a pro at ruining lives, he’s been doing it for centuries
-Asmo has such a huge influence over the people in DevilDom, he just needs to make this one post on Devilgram to end said demon’s whole career
-I mean, who is he compared to him, Hmm? So don’t worry MC, scum like that don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as you :)
-That one time Mammon tried lifting you up the stairs and Asmo started shrieking, like put them down! Don’t manhandle them like that, poor human :(
Beel:
-I know I sound repetitive, but he would be an overall sweetheart to you no matter the circumstances
-If Mammon is not by your side, then Beel definitely is
-His big, scary aura and figure usually scares off any threat in a 10 mile radius
-Most demons don’t fancy being eaten by the Avatar of Gluttony, ya know?
-Idk why but I feel like he’d be the type to ask for oral consent every time he wanted to push you around
-He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable :(
-Surprisingly also the type to lift you and your wheelchair whenever an obstacle gets in your way
-You basically weigh the same amount as a paper plate compared to him, so he has no problem doing so
-He doesn’t really understand your condition as well as Satan may do, but he’s trying his best
-You mean so much to him and he feels it’s only fair he learns more about your disability as a thank you for what you’ve done for him
-He has a rough time keeping up with you when it comes to stuff like physical therapy because he’s very unfamiliar with it but that doesn’t mean he’s not gonna help
-Of course, Beel believes that this is the second best way to show you how much he cares for you besides the obvious ‘I love you’
-Giving you a hand whenever you need his support the most
-That’s his way of saying “I’m not going to let you down. I want you to trust me, the same way I trust you.”
-And knowing him, he will try to do everything in his power to keep you safe and sound
-After a while, you’re bound to notice he’s the first one to pull you out of his brothers’ pranks before you have a chance to get hurt
-Beel is always the one handing you stuff from high places you can’t reach, without teasing you for it like Mammon might do
-Always the first one to remind you to get plenty of rest and to eat enough
-He wants to protect you and his brothers because he knows he failed to do so with Lilith so yeah, he’s a bit overprotective at times
-He doesn’t mean to be overbearing, but he gets so anxious knowing you’re by yourself
-After a few months of getting accommodated with him, your disability is no longer brought up in the conversation
-Because he doesn’t care that you are crippled and forced to use a wheelchair
-You are part of his family and he loves you no matter what
Belphie:
-He didn’t really care, even when you first met and his hatred for humans was at its very peak
-It didn’t matter that you had a disability
-All that mattered to him at the time was killing you to satisfy that deeply rooted need of vengeance inside of him
-Though he was sort of surprised his brothers didn’t get to you first
-In general, he’s pretty chill about you being crippled in both legs
-It takes too much effort to worry about your well-being 24/7 after all
-Surprisingly, he does keep an eye out for you if his siblings aren’t nearby
-It’s his redemption arc people, he’s trying to be nicer
-But he has such an irritating way of showing his affection for you
-Do not let him push you around
-He’s either going to a) fall asleep after 30 seconds and slump over you in the middle of RAD’s halls
-Or b) be annoying and fling your wheelchair in every direction possible just to piss you off
-He likes messing with you because you give him the best reactions and he thrives on that
-You’ve almost fallen off your wheelchair multiple times because of this asshole
-Not that he’d actually let you fall, he just wants to see how easily he can get you to yell at him
-Speaking of said wheelchair, like Mammon and Levi, he also loves using it when you’re not
-You’ve woken up to him curled up and asleep in that thing quiet often and he’s gotten in trouble over it every time with Lucifer
-But he doesn’t care
-And at this point, I don’t think even he knows whether he’s doing it to get a reaction out of you or because he somehow found a way to make himself comfortable there
-He would low key use you as a mode of transportation every time you go to RAD
-Just clings the damn wheelchair and almost topples both of you over
-“Belphie, there’s nothing stopping you from walking 😐”
-“Shh, just bring me to class and let me nap until then.”
-He doesn’t mention your legs but he still lays his head on your lap often
-Might make you hold him like a bride every time you stroll around the house
-It’s done out of love, I promise 😌😌
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Al~
#obey me#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me imagines#obey me leviathan#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me satan#om#obey me headcanons#obey me hcs#paraplegia#⭐️ requests#🕯 general#☂️ demon brothers
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TMBS Book 1 Brain Dump
~An Embarrassingly Long Post~
I don’t know why I’m writing this or why I’m so determined to do it. Maybe to finally assume my true form and become a mega dork on main, or maybe just for fun!
This is basically a compilation of all the main points running through my head after reading The Mysterious Benedict Society (2007) for the first time. Rather than posting a ton and spamming the tag, everything’s here in one neat package! (hopefully this gets it all out of my system rip)
Contents:
The Book Itself
The Book Itself, for real this time
The Characters
A Funny Parallel
The S.Q. Section
Lines & Scenes I Liked
Spoilers abound!
The Book Itself
Upon acquiring the first three books (don’t judge me pls), I was surprised at just how long they are. Like, they’re still pretty light being paperbacks and all, but these books are hefty lads.
The first book has this Disney+ Original Series circle thing printed on it, which is kind of unfortunate. Regardless, I love the cover illustration and yellow is actually my favorite color :D It made me weirdly quite happy whenever I saw the book lying around in my room
Also, it’s really cute how there’s a letter from Mr. Benedict at the end! (It only reveals that you can find out his first name if you “know the code”, meaning the bit of Morse printed below the summary on the back.) Shock and horror, though, as I realized I’m starting to recognize some of the letters
The Book Itself, for real this time
It’s wonderful how the tone of the book really shone through to the show adaptation. Something about the deliberateness of the aesthetic, from the set designs to the fashion to scene compositions, that really sells that particular style— like it’s very clear that this story is being told to us, rather than one we’re seeing unfold, if that makes sense.
Where that narration style stood out to me the most was the first chapter. We are told (rather than shown) how Reynie gets himself to the point of the second test, and there’s this whole twisty time maneuver for that whole sequence of events that’s really interesting
A super secret fun fact about me is that I wanted to be a writer when I was younger! So this particular balance of show vs. tell is really neat, since it runs counter to my own tendencies. The sheer amount of commas in every sentence is also kind of comforting, since Ahah, I Do That in those few serious-ish attempts at writing lol
Overall this book’s style reminds me a lot of Roald Dahl’s books, which are very nostalgic for me :D The whole “kids are more competent than adults” angle helps a lot too haha
The Characters
Oh boy here’s where I get a little bit critical! Overall I did really like this book!! it’s just that that expresses itself in all this weird “”analysis”” lol
Reynie - much better in the books than in the show
It’s sort of a lukewarm take but I feel like show!Reynie is kind of boring? He doesn’t have a lot going on flaw-wise, and obviously since he’s the protagonist he can’t have too many weird traits or else the kids watching can’t project themselves onto him as easily
(I call it the difference between an aspirational protagonist and a vessel protagonist. Going off of the Roald Dahl vibes, think Matilda vs Charlie. show!Reynie is more of a Charlie)
Thus when we get to see him really struggle with the Whisperer and doubt himself it gives him a lot more dimension, at least in my opinion
It is a federal crime that the white knight scenes were not adapted into the show
Sticky - my son
I’ve long held to no one besides myself and my long suffering sister that Sticky is The Best Member of the Society
He happened to hit a lot of the Bingo squares of Stuff I Like In Characters: glasses, anxious, nice :), kind of a coward but ultimately is there for his friends, etc
For some reason I don’t talk about him nearly as much as you-know-who, but I love him just as dearly
Kate & Constance - I don’t have much to say
Kate is really interesting in this book! I like how we get to see more of her depths, in particular that one passage about her belief that she is invincible being the only thing that keeps her from falling apart? :c
Also her constant fidgeting is relatable lol
Constance is somehow a lot more tolerable in the book. I think I’m just one of those people with no patience for small children, unfortunately lol
(Some of) The Adults
It’s interesting that they had such an offscreen presence for most of the book. Giving them more time was probably one of the stronger changes of the show
However if that decision was made at the expense of the white knight scenes I think the choice should have been clear
I like the way Rhonda and Number Two are written
Milligan always on sad boy hours 😔✊
The “mill again” passage is touching but kind of messes up the pacing of the getaway, at least for me. Maybe I should read it again to make sure I didn’t miss something
Miss Perumal is much better in the show. We see so little of her in the book she doesn’t function well as an emotional anchor for Reynie, imo
The Institute Gang
Jackson and Jillson serve their purpose well, and Martina was surprising to say the least. I like the direction they took her in the show! I can’t imagine how funny it must have been to watch the tetherball subplot come out of nowhere lolol
These sections were written out of sequence, so random tidbit I couldn’t fit in The S.Q. Section: I like how he stumbles over his words. relatable
Mr. Curtain
While I think I know why they decided to not give Curtain the wheelchair in the show, we were totally robbed of Actor Tony Hale’s performance for the reveal during the final confrontation
Speaking of the wheelchair, it’s such a powerful symbol of his need for control or rather, his fear of losing it
The Contrast between him and Mr. Benedict. This point is expanded on in A Funny Parallel
Mr. Benedict
Oh boy, Mr. Benedict… How do I say this
I find it hard to trust Mr. Benedict, unfortunately
I mean to say, I do in the sense that I know he would never hurt the kids, thanks to knowing that a) this is a children’s book series and b) the meta (tumblr) states that he is really nice and lovable and stuff, but seriously. Why do the kids trust him at first?? I probably missed something somewhere
I like to think I’m an optimistic person, but unfortunately I’m also super paranoid. The premise of “a bunch of vulnerable orphans team up with a strange old man” is just so odd to me I don’t know how to explain it
I don’t know!!! I really want to trust Mr. Benedict
One of the strengths of the show is that we get to see him more often, and thus he gets to acknowledge more often that the plan is weird and that he feels really badly for putting the kids in danger and that he’s trustworthy and genuine
But his lack of presence for most of the book just makes him into something of a specter, invisible and unknowable, speaking only in riddles from across the bay
Which is why the white knight scene is so important!! I loved that scene ;-;
Because here’s an actual emotional connection! We can actually see it happening, rather than only being told that it exists
Reynie asking for advice and receiving encouragement, in words that demonstrate that Mr. Benedict actually cares about him and worries about him and agghh
It is a federal crime that the white knight scenes were not adapted into the show
But overall this whole issue didn’t ruin my enjoyment of the book at all! It’s just ->
A Funny Parallel
Okay, ready for my biggest brain, hottest take ever??
Mr. Benedict and Mr. Curtain…. are… the same
I mean obviously not entirely, given that one is benevolent and kind and the other is… Mr. Curtain
But seriously. Genius old man seeks out children (mainly orphans) to enact a plan. Said children often end up incredibly devoted to his cause and deeply admire him this is a little flimsy
Undoubtedly that’s intentional and is supposed to show the difference between them, like some kind of cautionary tale? “Let yourself be vulnerable and let others help you, lest you turn eeeeviiillll”
I guess that’s where the aforementioned epic contrast comes in. You get Mr. Curtain, strapped into his wheelchair and hiding behind those mirrored sunglasses, terrified (but unwilling to admit it) of ever showing the tiniest hint of vulnerability, vs. Mr. Benedict, who can let himself fall knowing that someone will catch him :’)
Anyhow I have nothing against the parallels, I just think it’s funny
The S.Q. Section
The S.Q. Quarantine Thread so it doesn’t leak out everywhere else <3
I’d like to meet the emo angstlord genius who read this book and decided to make SQ into Dr. Curtain’s son. What in the world
Okay I should probably preface this by saying that I absolutely adore both book!S.Q. and show!SQ with all my heart. Somehow, despite being a completely different character in both mediums, he has managed to be one of the best characters in either and certainly one of my favorites (besides Sticky of course) in the entire franchise, despite the fact that I’ve only read the first book/watched the show so far. I am confident in this statement.
But seriously! How?? Why?? I could probably write a whole other essay about why show!SQ is such an interesting character, and the change works so incredibly well. I’m just. Baffled
Okay, focus. book!S.Q. is such a sweetheart, oh my goodness. Like, 100% one of the most endearing characters in the book. Poor guy. I don’t even know where to start!!
He just seems to be a genuinely good guy at heart, despite being technically one of the bad guys. He’s genuinely happy for Reynie and Sticky when they became Messengers and helped Kate when she “fell” and was concerned about Constance when she looked sick and how he was in that meeting with Mr. Curtain and Martina?!!? aaahhhhghgh ;-; he just wants people to be happy TT-TT
Comparing him against literally every character at the Institute is probably what makes him so endearing tbh. When everyone else is so awful to the kids, it really makes him stand out. Like a cheerful little nightlight in the worst, most humid and rank bathroom you’ve ever been in
It’s kind of pointless to theorize about a book series that’s already concluded (I think?) but. Is the implication of S.Q.’s forgetfulness supposed to be that Mr. Curtain used him in brainsweeping experiments somehow? The timeline probably definitely absolutely doesn’t line up but like. How did he get to being a Messenger being the way he is now, given how cutthroat the process is? And then of course Mr. Curtain keeps him around as an Executive because he’s fun to mess with and presumably his loyalty. I’m very curious as to how their relationship develops in the other books, if at all. Those are probably where the seeds of the “let’s make them family” logic were planted
But wouldn’t it be hilarious if the reason we don’t know what “S.Q.” stands for in the books is that he just. Forgot
Another thing that occurred to me. Given that he and the other Executives were Messengers at some point, what were their worst fears? What is S.Q.’s worst fear?? Inquiring minds need to know
One last horrible little anecdote: I was thinking about book!S.Q. while eating breakfast, as one does, and suddenly it hit me.
I want to believe The Author Trenton Lee Stewart had the name for a character, S.Q. Pedalian, and was like, “Hm! What sort of quirky trait should this young fellow have?” Because, of course, in this style of fiction every character has to have at least one cartoonish or otherwise distinguishing trait to stand out in the minds of children. (For instance, Kate has her bucket, Sticky has his glasses, Constance is angry, and Reynie is Emmett from the Lego Movie)
Anyhow, he looks around the room, searching for inspiration. Suddenly he comes across a jumbo box of plastic wrap. Completely innocuous in design, save for one line of text. 300 SQ FT.
“…large… S.Q. …feet? THAT’S IT!” i’m sorry
Lines & Scenes I Liked
In no particular order!
Sticky quotes Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Evil combination aerobics/square dancing in the gym with the Executives
Everyone being happy at the end :’)
Everyone partying after Sticky reunites with his parents, and later finding Mr. Benedict asleep at his desk from the moment they shook hands :’’)
Literally any scene with Sticky in it
Any time Kate says “you boys” or “gosh”
[“Um, sir?” S.Q. said timidly, raising his hand. “A thought just occurred to me.” / Mr. Curtain raised his eyebrows. “That’s remarkable, S.Q. What is it?”] clown prince of my heart </3
S.Q.’s determined monologue about searching for clues after he bungled up the first time
Literally any scene with S.Q. in it (please refer to The S.Q. Section)
Reynie trying to resist the Whisperer.
[Let us begin. / First let me polish my spectacles, Reynie thought. / Let us begin. / Not without my bucket, Reynie insisted. He heard Mr. Curtain muttering behind him. / Let us begin, let us begin, let us begin. / Rules and schools are tools for fools, Reynie thought.]
NO MORE HURTIN’ WITH CURTAIN
Milligan showing up on the island!!
Remember the white knight hhhhhh
“controle”
A Super Secret Bonus Section
I would be extremely surprised if anyone read through all the way down here lol. Regardless, here’s a little acknowledgements section :D not tagging anyone since I don’t want to bother all of these people
Special shoutout to tumblr blog stonetowns for unknowingly yet singlehandedly demolishing my reluctance to read the books by posting a ton of cute quotes. Thank you for your service o7
Thanks to the two OGs that liked the post I made right before this one, for being my unwitting enablers and for sticking around despite being a) technically an internet stranger (hello!) and b) someone I haven’t spoken to irl in literal years (hey!!)
Last but not least thankz 2 my sister for putting up with me ranting about the book when I first got it and for asking about “CQ” sometimes lol. (i desperately hope you’re not reading this orz)
#the mysterious benedict society#this took me like three days to finish rip#it’s worked though! i feel less of a Mighty Need to think about this stuff constantly now#however!!! today through some conniving i have gotten the Second Book#now I’m at 3 out of 4 infinity stones. muahahaha#was going to include my villain origin story about why i like show!SQ so much but cut it for being too long and irrelevant. however#if the words jeff naomi and Sweet Dreams are Made of These mean anything to you please hit me up. it’s kind of a funny story
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Ways the Dragon Prince is similar to Avatar the Last Airbender:
- airbender = Callum learning sky arcanum
- banished brooding villain Zuko becoming friend: Rayla
- annoying low-energy plot device Appa = bait
- annoying but cute sidekick Momo = Zym
- young diplomatic kid Aang with adult responsibilities = ezran
- dorky, cunning, lady killer with bad jokes Sokka = Callum (Sokka was way smarter and funnier tbh)
- two wrongs don’t make a right trope with Avatar Kiyoshi = literally everything in TDP: killing a dragon for killing the queen, sending an army for murders in other kingdoms, etc
- disabled representation with the wheelchair guy at the air temple = deaf aunt Amaya
I just want there to be more drama like how Zuko and Katara were caught hugging or something and Aang was pissssed. But we did see Callum and Claudia inspire jealousy in Rayla.
Is it bad I kinda ship Rayla and Soren?! I know it’s a trash pairing but hear me out:
- both were disowned by their fathers and used by their own family in a plot that may have ended in their deaths
- both are excellent strategists (idc if Soren is doofy, he is a natural born leader even when he makes questionable calls like shooting the circling dragon down in that village. He shows a lot of character growth in S3 and it’s because of his warning, they were able to prepare and win)
- both are in their physical prime. Like hello? Their features are stunning.
- both of them are willing to turn their backs on people they love for the greater good. Truly good people.
- Rayla cares about her true nature being seen. She wants to avenge her parents, or correct the ways of her peoples wrong doing in the past. Soren wants to be seen as an equal, not stupid or useless like his father deems him and save people from his own fathers war path. They both want to be seen for who they truly are.
Meanwhile:
- Callum sucks physically at everything and requires saving a lot (I know he’s 14 but that’s my point)
- Callum is emotionally immature. He doesn’t understand Raylas hangup with her parents fleeing or dying at the scene. He wanted to leave and hide instead of stay and fight and thought it was pride when she disagreed. He doesn’t get it.
- Callum only started liking her when she threw herself at him. He didn’t start appreciating her bravery and beauty until he realized he could get with that. Not romantic, to me. He went to save her but the whole “I love you” thing seems way too fast. Especially because…
- her dad killed his step dad. This actually becomes a bigger issue later in the graphic novel. He said “I love you” to her but then later holds it over her head that her gay dad standin killed his step dad. Shitty of him to say he loved her when he hadn’t even processed that and holds it over her head later!
I guess the same argument could be said if she went with Soren, because his dad essentially killed her dad and parents which got her banished. But they’re not really dead - they’re in coins! So I think she’d be happier in the long run with Soren. Wayyy better story.
So yeah, eventually I think that will fizzle out because she was a party to the plot in Callums stepdads murder and couldn’t stop it.
But I know they’ll stay together because they symbolize the end of human prejudice against elves. Which is fine, I guess. I just think it would be just as good of a story if a Catolis crown guard swordsman was with a dragon guard elf than the step-prince of Catolis.
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Feminism in Fairy Tail with Lucy Heartfilia
Okay so @gaysquaredwrites made this fantastic post today about how people say Lucy is useless because she’s not as great a fighter as the other characters, but that doesn’t mean she’s useless because she brings light and happiness into the characters lives and that’s just as important as fighting! And I originally wrote this rant as a reblog to their original post but it ended up being LONG AF and I didn’t want to hijack their post like that so I decided to just post this feminism and Lucy rant as my own post.
So something that I see a lot in most fiction and not just shounen manga but also in Western sci-fi/action fiction as well, is that the female characters in those stories who aren’t primarily fighters, or do fight but not as well as other characters are often criticized for being useless because they “always need to be saved” or “can’t win a fight on their own” and while this does happen to a lot of female characters in these genres, it doesn’t make them “useless” characters to the story. These people just don’t seem to realize that there are other important roles for characters in these genres aside from fighting and beating bad guys, and that’s emotional support.
You don’t have to fight in order to change/save someone’s life. Emotional support is just as essential as physical in both fictional stories and in real life and I feel like people seem to forget that a lot.
Especially since that emotional support often comes from female characters which people are already frothing at the mouth to discredit and undermine so it’s no surprise that people complain that they’re useless because they can’t fight as well as the male mc (which is stupid especially in shounen manga because in those stories no one fights as well as the main male mc, that’s kind of a trademark of the genre tbh) and claim that that take is “feminist” while completely ignoring the important role that those female characters play in uniting the other characters for a certain cause and giving them the courage to keep fighting and fighting with them even if they aren’t the strongest fighter in the story.
But those parts of their stories are usually downplayed or ignored in favor of the “she’s just a love interest” argument, which is actually a more complex and important role to a story than people seem to realize. But I won’t get into that here because that’s a different argument and that would involve getting into her relationship with Natsu and I want to keep this meta purely about Lucy and how people try to paint her as a “useless character” because of sexism. If you want to read about how nalu is actually more feminist/progressive than people think, click here.
Now if you’re judging characters importance to the story of Fairy Tail based on how many fights they’ve won/lost, then you’re only focusing on one aspect of the story which is the action, and completely ignoring the emotional/narrative parts of the story that make us fall in love with these characters and root for them during the action.
For example, the guild wouldn’t even exist if not for Lucy! After Makarov disbanded it after Tartaros, Lucy was the only one who kept tabs on the guild members in order to reach out to all of them to get the guild back together once Natsu and Happy came back to her. And they even said it multiple times in the manga that they wouldn’t have come back together without her. So yeah the guild would not have come back together to defeat Alvarez without Lucy.
And, everyone seems to forget that during the Tartaros arc, she literally saved everyone’s freaking lives by sacrificing Aquarius’s key to summon the Celestial Spirit King and free everyone from the fortress they were trapped in. Everyone would still be trapped in that thing and Tartaros would not have been defeated if she didn’t make that sacrifice. And it was a huge sacrifice! Lucy’s spirits mean everything to her! Sacrificing Aquarius to save everyone in Fairy Tail left her freaking heartbroken!
And that wasn’t the only sacrifice that she’s made in the series either! Her freaking future self sacrificed her life when Rogue tried to kill Lucy in order to save her life.
Now you could argue that other major characters in the series have made large sacrifices too, such as Juvia saving Gray, and Makarov using Fairy Law at the cost of his life and maybe others too that I’m forgetting. But those sacrifices while important to the story and the importance of those characters, are made up for by both Makarov and Juvia being brought back to life later with Juvia sustaining a scar, and Makarov being in a wheelchair which yes, is a big deal and should not be overlooked. But the point I’m making is that both he, and Juvia intended to sacrifice their lives, but ended up living anyway. Like Gray and the multiple times he’s attempted to use iced shell but always ends up getting interrupted or talked out of it.
So Lucy is the only main character who has intended to sacrifice something important, and followed through with it without getting revived later (although it was only her future self that died, but the point is she still died without getting revived later on in the story) and without getting the sacrificed item back. Yeah, people seem to forget that Lucy sacrificed Aquarius’s key, and Lucy still does not have that key back. So even if you think that future Lucy dying isn’t a heavy sacrifice because that was just a version of Lucy, the Aquarius sacrifice is definitely a heavy one because that one didn’t get resolved later. Lucy sacrificed that key, and did not get it back immediately after or at the end of the arc, or even at the end of the story! Yes the key is out there in the world somewhere but she still has to find it and that’s probably not gonna happen for awhile and it’s gonna be really difficult to get it back! Lucy sacrificed something precious to her for the sake of her guild that she loves so much and she never got it back at the end of the main story. And that’s why I think that sacrifice in particular is probably the biggest one in the story.
But that sacrifice is often overlooked by fans who claim she has no purpose in the story, because that wasn’t a “fighting” sacrifice like giving their life for another character. That was an emotional sacrifice because she sacrificed her ability to not only use Aquarius’s key, but have her in her life as a close friend by sacrificing her key. No life was lost by Aquarius’s key being shattered, but it shattered Lucy’s hearts and ours in turn.
It was a big emotional sacrifice, and that’s why it’s downplayed because emotional components of a story like Fairy Tail which are what Lucy plays a big role in, are often played by female characters, because being “emotional” is a traditionally feminine role in most stories.
In fact, putting a higher importance on traditionally masculine roles for characters like fighting, and downplaying the more feminine roles like emotional support, makes it pretty obvious what those so-called “fans” are really saying when they say Lucy is “useless”.
More often than not, people who claim Lucy is useless do so because they compare her fighting ability to Erza, who is a very skilled warrior and has many important achievements in the battles she’s been in. And because of this, they claim that Erza is a stronger female character than Lucy in the story.
But just because Erza is a female character that is a good fighter, doesn’t mean she’s a stronger female character than Lucy. Both Lucy and Erza are equally strong female characters in their respective roles in the story. But people, mainly misogynists, don’t look at it that way and just lump them into the category of “female character” which guess what, is sexist because you’re only categorizing those characters by their genders and not the distinct and equally important roles they play in the story.
Having Erza be one of the most powerful wizards in the guild as a great fighter is a huge win for female representation in shounen manga because she plays a role that is typically reserved for male characters. But that doesn’t mean that Lucy, who plays the role of emotional support which is typically reserved for female characters any less important. The idea that all female characters need to be less “emotional” or “feminine” and need to play more traditionally masculine roles like Erza does in order to be considered good female representation, completely misses the point.
So while I do want to see more female characters in roles typically reserved for male characters like Erza. I also want to see the female characters who are in traditionally feminine roles for the genre like Lucy get treated with more respect and be recognized for their importance to the story and not get labeled as “useless” because they didn’t win a boss fight.
Because if you think that characters, both male and female who serve the more traditionally masculine roles like fighting are more important to the story than the characters, both male and female who serve the traditionally feminine role of emotional support, then guess what! That’s misogyny too!
If Fairy Tail was purely just a story about people punching each other, then we would not be as invested in the story or these characters as we are. Lucy is the one who makes important emotional sacrifices, and is the one who reminds the guild what they’re fighting for, and gives them hope and happiness when they need it most.
So if you think Lucy’s useless because she doesn’t fight as much or as well as the other characters in the story, then just admit you’re a misogynist because if you have that opinion then you clearly didn’t take the time to pay attention to the story as a whole, and were too blinded by your sexist views to see how important to the story Lucy’s role as the heart, aka the emotional support of Fairy Tail actually is. In fact, the story wouldn’t have even started without her since she’s the first character we meet.
Emotional support in a story like Fairy Tail is just as important as the fighting. The story would have ended after Tartoros without Lucy. Lucy is the one who not only saved all of their lives but brought their guild back together. Fairy Tail would not exist without Lucy. That’s how Lucy primarily saves the day in this story, not by punching people with magic, but with her heart that is filled with love for her friends that fuels her actions, just like Natsu, Gray, Erza and literally everyone else in the guild. She’s no different from them in terms of her importance to the story, her role is just a little different from theirs.
#fairy tail#feminism#feminism in anime#feminism in manga#lucy heartfilia#erza scarlet#feminist fairy tail
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How do you think people in the zones deal with disabilities??
it’ll really really vary imo. “disabilities” covers a huuuuuuge umbrella so i dont wanna generalize too hard. however i think as a whole theres a lot more acceptance of that kinda thing than there would be in battery city.
cw: discussion of in-universe ableism
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the zones have had war living in them for god knows how long. the analog wars were definitely fought in or around the zones in canon, and we dont know how long ago that was. and war is a pretty grisly thing. war vets from the analogs are gonna be carrying around serious injuries like missing limbs or bad hearing or chronic pain. nerve damage from burn wounds. blind from too many blitzes going off in their faces. so i think its not really out of the ordinary to see people who lived through the wars to have missing hands or needing prosthetics, etc. and since living in the zones is a pretty rough life, i dont think itd be too far out of left field to think that killjoys and zonerunners who live out there post-war might have to deal with that kinda thing too.
we do have a little basis for what the attitude for this might be in canon. canonically dr death defying (who imo is criminally underrated) is in a wheelchair and has a leg brace and a big deals never really made out of it. he mentions losing his legs in the wars in the comics and then hurting his leg in the listening party, but thats about it. no one else comments on it. while being physically fit and able-bodied might be a boon in the zones, i dont think it is a necessity the way that, say, battery city would consider it to be.
battery city’s general take on disabilities, as far as i can perceive it, has more to do with appearances. they dont really give a fuck about whether youre actually doing better and recovering and improving. they want you to function in society. they want you to look “normal” and fit into their preconceived notions of what is acceptable. hence why their medications, i think, are such a bad tactic - theyre not trying to treat anyones illnesses. theyre just trying to eliminate the symptoms that they deem to be unpleasant, uncomfortable, or not Useful to the better living machine. their priority isnt making you happy/healthy, its making you more objectively useful to their capitalist dystopian hell.
now ofc theres gonna be jerks in the zones and outliers but by and large the feeling of “community” and “accommodation” is gonna be better than what youd get in the city imo. like for example if you get your leg blown off at the knee, there are a probably few junkpunks in the zones you can find who can piece together a prosthetic out of droid parts and scrap metal. i like to think the zones have their own sign language dialect - ive touched on that before in some of my works, though i havent ever really elaborated on what that is. its not straight up ASL though, it is very much its own zone-specific variant of sign language. i imagine that it’s commonplace enough for it not to be too weird - especially among older generations of killjoys who might have had war buddies who were deaf or hard of hearing, or are themselves.
in my read on the universe i have a lot of zone-rats who are wandering around with prosthetic legs and stuff and that’s not really out of the ordinary so much. also a ton of zonerunners who gotta deal with the long-term effects of living in such an irradiated part of the world (nine-volt rocket and haywire from jet’s backstory both had to deal with the terminal repercussions of this, and this was seen as pretty much standard as far as jet was concerned). poison’s a little surprised to see prosthetics but they’ve got a more limited exposure to the zones compared to almost everyone else in the fab four except kobra. a few canon characters have prosthetics and such too, though i haven’t gotten into that just yet so i’m not gonna say which ones. yall might be able to figure that out though lol
now when we get into psychological disabilities, thats a lot more of a gray area. i suspect a lot of zone mentality settles into “just fukcin cope with it bud” cause i imagine there are a lot of anti-medication mindsets and people Paranoid about pharmacological solutions due to better living industries being What They Are. which kinda sucks tbh cause medication can be a great thing for navigating bad brain stuff and also for handling chronic/terminal conditions. thats a hard line for me to walk personally, cause i do not wanna demonize medication out of universe but i recognize that, in universe, that mentality is probably gonna be pretty common, which sucks.
so my general take on it is that the attitudes in the zones are generally more accommodating of disabilities of all kinds, but low resources might make it hard to actually find suitable accommodations. depending on the era/part of the desert that youre in, youll either see a lot of community in the zones and people who dont mind helping you out, or youll just have to....Handle it on your own or pay someone to give a shit for you (i.e., i suspect the desert was way more unified when the fabulous four were at their peak and way more fractured after the analog wars happened, and so on).
i know im probably overlooking a lot wrt diversity in disabilities here. if other people with more knowledge in this area wanna chip in, please do!!
#ask#anon#danger days#ableism mention#*spec#idk what else to tag. lmk if you want me to add anything else#id written poisons pov first so i hadnt nailed down what the zones were like yet lol#so that inconsistency is definitely there#theyre like :o!!! a CYBORG#when that really is not all that uncommon lmao
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Tavros and Assistive Tech
i’m writing this in part because homestuck has a lot of interesting things about wheelchairs, and maybe people don’t know or notice because info about wheelchairs isn’t nearly as well known as it should be?
homestuck brings up a lot of interesting things, with stuff thtat doesn’t get a lot of mention. one of which is Tavros’s various wheelchairs and assistive devices.
so he starts out with this wheelchair,
https://www.homestuck.com/story/2113
standard hospital wheelchair, ugh
which, wheelchairs really don’t have to be that way ??
above is a link about why hospital wheelchairs suck, and how manual wheelchairs can be!
it doesn’t even have brakes!!
but tbh that makes sense given that he’s in a society in which, to be rather blunt, most physically disabled people are killed by the time they become an adult. tbh, the reason he’s probably alive is because he’s a teenager in bumfuck nowhere. but there just isn’t a lot of reason to develop actually good wheelchairs in that sort of situation, it just isn’t that sort of society. :(
fortunately he will be entering the motherfuckin game soon!!
(too bad about the meteors ig, but outta that chair!! /jk )
with how things worked out, we don’t get to see him in a nice wheelchair.
but we do get to see him go from this
to this
and eventually, he gets the robo legs
https://www.homestuck.com/story/2119
but tbh, it seems to be implied that the stuff with the legs was done somewhat non consensually?
and looking at it - most of his most effective stuff he did in his rocket chair, he comes up with the idea to charm the creatures in his chair too. in his robo legs he can’t even operate them at first and spends a lot of time trying to learn how to go down the stairs. also
so wanting to fly is something he’s wanted to do for a long time. the chair, which he made himself, allows him to fly, but his robo legs only let him walk. trading a fairly deep long - lasting wish for a shorter “sort of” one.
and he is the Page of Breath. and rockets are hevily associated with the element of breath.
(and stairs with the element of blood but i’ll get to that later)
and afterwards he sure wasn’t acting like himself.... and then he falls down to a rather harsh if heroic end.
in a way Tavros’s arc is a tragedy, like a shakespearean one. shackled and directed to his falling arc by forces in his society by forces he can’t quite ever escape.
(tbh, since he does come back i feel like they could have done more with that later but that’s for later maybe. if they had had him leading the ghost army in rocket chair or boots that could have been a neat follow through and really highlighted these themes.)
but there sure is a lot cool and interesting along the way with our fav. dude!
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‘The Day Everything Went Wrong’, huh? what exactly happened on that day, just out of curiosity? -🌸
In reference to this post, about Logan
Content Warnings for: ableism, meltdowns, shitty shitty days
It’s kinda just one of those things were literally everything goes wrong and all those small things just build up and make the day The Worst
It starts off with Logan’s muscles just,,, refusing to cooperate
Which is incredibly annoying when he’s trying to get dressed and brush his teeth
He misses the bowl while pouring milk getting milk all over his jeans
And now he has to change because who tf wants to go to school with milk jeans?????
And his dad is fussing over him trying to help but not listening to Logan and what he needs so they end up fighting
And it ends with Logan’s dad saying “fine, if you don’t need any help, I won’t do anything for you” as Logan leaves to change
So because logan had to change pants on a bad muscle day it took him extra long and he was five minutes late for class
Which like technically isn’t a huge deal bc he’s given extra time during passing periods to and from classes
But it’s still annoying and class is already starting
Then he’s searching through his backpack only to realize he left his fucking homework at home
AND NOW THERE’S A POP QUIZ-
Some kid tried to grab his wheelchair during passing period
When he gets to the cafeteria he goes to pull his lunch out but isn’t there
And he groans
Bc his dad usually packs him a lunch, but his words from earlier suggest that he didn’t this time to be petty
So he goes to buy food but it’s Mac n Cheese day but it’s the bad texture mac n cheese
So he’s triple pissed and hangry
The Luna bar he tried to get from the vending machine got stuck
He also can’t find a n y of his friends at lunch so he has no one to sit with or spend the period with
He can’t text them cus his phone died and he doesn’t have a charger
Logan is having a really miserable day
But of course it doesn't just end there
So Logan goes to tutoring and is forced to sit through a particularly frustrating session with Remy
But thank fuck that’s over
BUT THEN THIS JACKASS COMES IN
Now this is a new student and this is going to be Logan and his first face to face consultation and tutoring session
And Logan already knows it’s not going to go well when the student asks him where the tutor “Logan” is
And Logan’s like, “Right here. I’m Logan.”
And this student has the AUDACITY to scoff
Pissing Logan off even more cus Logan knows he's not gonna like whatever’s about to come out of this student’s mouth
“You’re Logan? I think you might be confused, I’m looking for Logan Salvador? Is he here?”
“Yes. I’m Logan Salvador.”
The person chuckles and shifts uncomfortably.
“Do you- do you have someone here with you?”
Logan: “What do you mean?”
The person kind of looks around, “Is there someone who’s supposed to be watching you.”
Logan: “What? I’m not sure I heard you correctly could you please repeat yourself?”
The person, leaning down and making their voice soft: “Do you have a friend here with you? Do you need help finding them?”
Logan: “No. It’s just me. I don’t need help finding anyone. Why do you ask? Do you want to start the tutoring session or not?”
Student: “The what?”
Logan: “The tutoring session, you know, the one you hired me for.”
Logan pulls out his phone to show the text correspondence.
Logan: “You are *student’s name*, right?”
Student: “You’re Logan?”
Logan: “Yes. Is there a problem?”
Student: “Uh no. Well actually- uh well I can’t do tutoring today sorry, that’s what I meant to tell you. My mom- yeah my mom. Has a thing. And actually. I think I’m doing fine in math now. So like, no need to do tutoring actually. Uh, Bye.”
So the student just… leaves
And it takes Logan a minute
But he catches on to what just happens
And he is angry
Fifteen minutes later Patton and Emile show up to pick Logan up and they catch on pretty soon to the fact Logan’s more pissed than normal
So they take him to get ice cream
But they get caught in traffic
And the beeping of car horns is pissing Logan off more than normal
Patton very kindly let’s Logan borrow his headphones because Logan forgot his today
(Which does make Logan feel a bit better bc Patton’s not super great at People Comfort and this is Patton’s way of showing how much he cares about Logan by offering Logan one of his comfort items in a situation when Patton would actually been using the headphones himself)
(But it’s only a little bit better)
Eventually they arrive at the ice cream parlor
Only for the employee working there to recognize them and happily announce
That they’ve changed the name of Logan’s favorite ice cream flavor!!!
Which does not do any good
But it’s still the same flavor so Logan orders it anyway
HOWEVER
The ice cream has a lot of ice shards in it this time making it a bad texture
And this bad texture is overwhelming
And Logan goes Non-verbal
Emile and Patton are now pretty concerned so they all decide to head back to patton’s place to see if that helps Logan calm down
Logan’s still non-verbal and is barely communicating with them at all
And Logan himself? Is not really sure what’s going on?
Because his skin itches and everything's too loud and too bright
But worst of all there’s this pressure inside of Logan, inside of his head and inside of his body and it’s all too much
And there’s so much inside him that he’s not really able to think about things or process what’s around him
If he was able to he’d recognize he was having a meltdown and that Emile and Patton were doing the best to help him
They eventually get home and Logan in his foggy state is able to recognize Saef Place
He moves to transfer himself to his chair to the couch bc generally his chair is Good, Safe but it rubbing against him isn’t great right now and couch is softer
But bad muscle day plus meltdown brain means he falls onto the floor
Which just kinda sucks tbh
So he’s just kind,,, lying there, on the floor,,, meltdown brain screaming everything is Wrong Wrong Wrong
Patton and Emile do their best to help but Logan’s not responding and bc he’s not actively putting himself in danger they’re giving him space and letting the meltdown happen
Emile and Patton just kind of sit down on the floor near Logan and push some stim toys near him which Logan eventually takes
Emile gets up to turn off the lights for Logan and patton and emile silently watch a video while sharing Emile’s earbuds and Rose hangs out on Patton’s lap
It takes a good while but eventually Logan comes back and tries to ask for help the couch but doesn’t really want to and is still non verbal
Logan eventually signs the word ‘help’
Once Emile and Patton figure out and confirm that Logan wants help to the couch, they move to assist him
They help Logan to the couch and Logan lies down
They all hang out on the couch together and Emile pulls up some of Logan’s favorite videos on his laptop and turns the brightness down
They all just stay like that until Logan’s phone buzzes and Logan quietly thanks them and asks if Emile can drive him home
Emile says yes and turns to the both of them and says “Meet you guys at 10?”
They all nod and later they go on a midnight drive and Logan falls asleep in the car, exhausted from his terrible day
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oohohoho you just opened the deepest can of worms on the planet
-mod dave, who wrote a fucking ten mile essay
first off, addressing the second anon, no theyre all humans. h., half humans at least. cause yall know me i fucking love my humanstuck aus off my ASS
(that would be funny as hell though. a troll from space walking into a camp on earth going “I AM THE SON OF ONE OF YOUR EARTH GODS. BITCH” like... holy shit)
so first things first their parents. im gonna lay this out, the beta kids and trolls are all greek (EXCEPT sollux hes roman cause his parent has no greek equivalent), and all the alpha kids and trolls are those gods roman equivalents (,,EXCEPT dirk cause he kinda balances sollux being roman out). i havent figured out how thatd happen like 16+ times yet cause in the percy jackson books theres only ever been one instance of two siblings of the same godly descent being greek and roman respectively in HISTORY so like.. i guess th. i guess thats just not a problem in this au
anyway this gets really long so im gonna talk about the beta kids and trolls cause i havent elaborated on the alphas at all ((peep the tags if you wanna see their parents though))
johns the son of zeus, rose is the daughter of athena, dave is the son of apollo, and jade is the daughter of demeter. they were all raised in their respective states, all had to come to new york for various reasons. jades been there the longest, shes been there 9 years and shes been on a couple quests. her biggest accomplishment so far is how she protected the camp from this big vicious angry hellhound that got past the barrier. naturally the girls fluent in Dog Training, so she steps up and instead of trying to kill this thing, she reaches out and tames it as fast as she can. it ends up actually working, and ever since that day she, her cabin, and the camp have a whole bodyguard sleeping right outside the demeter cabin! hes her steed in battle and hes a Very Good Boy. and his name is becquerel
johns the newest kid at camp, he has no idea who he is or why the fuck his school got attacked or why in the hell those anemoi thuellai were so fixated on him or HOW in the hell he absorbed the lightning one threw at him and ended up fine,,, hes just a big mess right now. a big enough mess that when he got claimed by literally zeus, no one else was around, he shrugged it off as some basic magical happening, and he stayed in the hermes cabin far longer than he should have cause no one! fucking knew he got claimed! by zeus of all people! dumbass. he ends up figuring it out though. like an off-hand mention about how this “weird lightning thing appeared above my head a couple weeks ago, haha weird right?” once he figures it out he realizes “hey i might be able to fly” so he sneaks off into the woods to try it. he succeeds fairly quickly but god almighty everyones face the one day the dude just yote himself off a small cliff without warning,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
dave and rose are really tight, theyve been there roughly the same time length, and since their cabins are across from each other they just bother each other all the time. daves the resident Doctor even though he really doesnt look it cause hes got the apollo powers. apollo is the medicine god. so if you wound your stupid ass in battle daves in the ER room patching you up with his glowy hands. rose on the other hand is a very good strategist. shes one of the only athena kids ever recorded to actually have a power - telekinesis. she has no idea how she developed it, she thinks its from birth, but it freaks her out. shes training it though.
so the beta trolls, are also all human(ish). aradias hades kid. but i pulled a pjo trope on her based on one of my favorite characters (im not saying for spoilers, but if you recognize the situation, You Probably Know Who Its Based Off) and aradia died. her mom, the handmaid, had been pulling some Shady Ass Shit and ended up getting herself killed, but aradia tried saving her and ended up going down with her.
so handmaid gets sentenced to the fields of punishment in the underworld, and aradia gets sentenced to elysium, heroes paradise. shes like “no i want my mom to be okay” so they take that away from aradia and they put them both in the fields of asphodel, the neverending grey space for Not So Good But Not So Bad people. her mom becomes a shade (shadow spirit, no human resemblance), as all people do, but aradia. doesnt? and she gets dunked in the fucking river lethe and if you dont know what that does it erases your memory. so she just. comes out of the river like “hello? wgat tae fukc goin on??” but she still remembers one thing. there was an “a” in her name.
tavros is the son of hermes, hes just kinda taken on the role of backup counselor for when the actual cabin counselor is out. hes in a wheelchair, but he also has prosthetic legs for when he needs to actually stand up and fight. hes really good at it too. also catch him in winged converse cause he Owns Those and Uses Them To His Advantage. hes trying his best to keep focused on the camp, cause aradia was his childhood friend, he misses her a whole lot, she never got to camp in the first place. and to his knowledge, shes still dead.
sollux is a janus kid. thats a problem cause janus is roman, and this is a greek camp. he grew up with dave, he showed up with dave, hes been at camp as long as dave. but hes been unclaimed since he showed up so he thinks hes unwanted by whatever parent he has. he knows hes a demigod, he got through the camp barriers, so what the fuck is wrong with him? he also feels shitty cause hes shit at the greek lessons, he cant read a lick of it which literally every demigod without exception should be able to do, he cant name any gods- well, he can, but.. he gets their names mixed up. why does he keep calling poseidon “neptune”? and he has a much, much different way of natural fighting than other kids. they slice, he jabs. he wasnt taught to jab.
karkat is an aphrodite kid with vitiligo, and to make matters worse, hes ace and on the aro spectrum. to make matters WORSE, the aphrodite kids are kinda notorious for being really shallow, really materialistic, and really mean. karkats been dubbed the “runt” of the cabin, he gets made fun of for his spots to the point where he uses make up and magic to conceal them. worst of all? hes the kid of the goddess of love, for fucks sake. being reminded that “loveless people shouldnt be able to stay in this cabin, mom must have made a mistake claiming you” is kind of.. a blow to the self esteem. long story short he hates aphrodite for claiming him, and would have rather stayed in the hermes cabin. but he eventually goes on this big quest thats vague as fuck right now but Its The Main Plot, he ends up proving to himself that hes worth something and that his siblings are wrong, and my FAVORITE LINE IN THE WHOLE THING i came up with is HIS when he deals a final blow to some big monster: “REMEMBER MY FACE THE NEXT TIME YOU REINCARNATE. MY NAME IS KARKAT VANTAS, I’M THE SON OF APHRODITE, AND LOOKS CAN KILL.”
nepeta isnt anywhere near developed as others are unfortunately, shes a daughter of ares and shes really really good at hand to hand combat. shes small but she leads groups of people in things ranging from camp volleyball games to actual literal wars. shes a tough little shit
kanaya isnt really developed either, i have yet to figure out most of her powers too actually, shes a daughter of iris, the rainbow goddess though. (blatant reference to both kanayas vampirism and. h. her. sh. es ga. gay) ONE THING SHE CAN DO THOUGH is iris message at will without water or drachmas so really shes just everyones go to cell phone and its fucking hilarious cause people just come into the cabin like “KANAYA I NEED TO TALK TO [X]” and shes like “You Better Fucking Pay Me I Am Not Your Personal Cell Phone”
terezi is the daughter of nemesis and she has this really peculiar power she hasnt really gotten the hang of yet. she has synesthesia, so while she cant see she can smell and taste the colors of her surroundings and its really helpful. sometimes though she gets messages from her mom. they dont even come as dreams half the time, they come as almost a different plane altogether. tez has the power to literally tip the scales, pretty much. and when she gets like that, she can see. shes not on earth though, shit on earth stops when shes like that. shes just kinda In Her Own Head, i guess? and in her head she holds the two scales in her hands. she is the arms of the scale. and depending on which one she lifts up, she can literally alter the fate of the battle or happening thats going on By Herself. once she chooses she just whooshes back to real life though and nothing has changed. the only downside? it takes a LOT of energy and cant be exploited for little things. her one thing on her bucket list is to tap into said powers while getting something from a vending machine so like three things will fall out but it hasnt happened yet and shes upset
vriskas a daughter of tyche, the luck goddess, come the fuck on you knew i was gonna, i havent really elaborated on her either and im upset about that. but hey now you get a break from all those fucking paragraphs
equius is a hephaestus kid, and he kinda stays in the background. hes a range fighter, he spends a lot of time in the forge, and even though its been a project looooong since forgotten, hes been excavating the tunnels under cabin nine for years. by himself. he has no idea where they lead, but dammit hes gonna find out where. he has no idea about a certain bunker in the woods though...
gamzees just there for a fucking laugh tbh hes a son of dionysus and i love that cause hes the god of wine and parties and insanity. usually gamzees just zoning out somewhere hes Not supposed to be, and hes not affected by the maenads FUCKED UP BULLSHIT that goes down the forest sometimes. also hes so fucking scared of tavroses wing shoes he tried them on once while he was high and JESUS CHRIST
eridan is the son of kymopoleia, a SUPER obscure goddess. lets just say dont fuck with eridan cause his mom is the goddess of violent sea storms,
and naturally, feferi is the daughter of poseidon. cause who the FUCK else would she be the daughter of. WHO. NAME ONE GOD
OH AND JUST CAUSE I FORGOT CALLIE AND CALIBORN ARE SATYRS IN THIS AU. CALLIE HAS PAN PIPES. and caliborn still has a gun
#LONG#LONG LONG LONG LONG LOOOOOOOOONG#god DAMN this took a minute and a half to write#okay here are the alphas parents#jane - jupiter // roxy - bellona // dirk - hephaestus // jake - mars#yes that does mean dirk and the zahhaks are godly half brothers#damara - pluto // rufioh - mercury // mituna - janus // kankri - venus#meulin - mars // porrim - arcus // latula - invidia // aranea - fortuna#horuss - vulcan // kurloz - bacchus // cymopolea // meenah - neptune#not a quote#mod dave#homestuck#demigodstuck#john egbert#rose lalonde#dave strider#jade harley#aradia megido#tavros nitram#sollux captor#karkat vantas#nepeta leijon#terezi pyrope#vriska serket#equius zahhak#gamzee makara#eridan ampora#feferi peixes#calliope#caliborn
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Okay so Ive been on a bit of à harry potter fan theory bender.
Now I'm considering an alternate version of the story that's a lot more queer.
-The youngest Weasley brother who opened the chamber of secrets in their first year (Harry's second) and was sorted into Slytherin comes out as trans and places a Fidelius charm on her deadname / the fact she isn't a cis girl (this is Ginny)
-at some point she chooses to dispel that Fidelius charm because she doesn't feel like it's genuine to hide her transness
-thus genuinely confusing some ppl when it is dispelled
-also Molly is still fiercely Molly and is totally onboard with the trans thing
-Arthur and maybe one or two of the eldest brothers try but don't quite get it, but they really do try
-Harry is bi or pan (not decided, maybe he never labels it in the series)
-Ron is straight, still
-Draco asks Ron to the yule ball in year 4
-Ron refuses because (in order) 1 it's Malfoy, 2 he asked pretty early and ron is certain he can find a girl to go with.
-the pavarti twins are both gay in this version so Harry and Ron end up going together (Ron's idea so he doesn't have to go alone but like he's not gay so it doesnt lead anywhere but harry is left wondering)
-malfoy ends up with Longbottom, because of course
-theres more clear corruption at the ministry because people bring up the fact that they should be using veritaserum and/or something like the pensieve to see the truth.
-theres more than just the book 3 use of time turners because that's such an interesting mechanic to destroy, especially since the whole 'if you go back you've already been back and any repercussions are already being felt' so you can't actually change the past
-dont forget Ginny experimenting with polyjuice to try to fight dysphoria
-oh and Cho has a different name and is less problematically written (for starters there's more diversity than just the 1 Asian kid who's in the smarty pants house)
-ron still ends up with Hermione but idk for some reason it's not weird because harry falling for a Slytherin seems so much more compelling
-plus it can't just be Malfoy BC 1 there's already a lot of that content out there and 2 putting Ginny in Slytherin just seems fitting for more than just harry marrying her. She's the outcast Weasley (as trans and as only girl and as Slytherin), the outcast Slytherin (Weasley, being the only Slytherin we as readers know of who isn't considered a bad guy at any point in the story, maybe being trans but I want that to be a non-issue tbh), has this connection to Voldy's diary which would be easier for the gang to miss if she wasn't sharing a dorm with them
-Trelawney isn't framed like such an idiot because genuinely all her prophecies (not just the ones where she goes all weird and doesn't remember them) come true (this is true in the original material but it's hard to notice)
-at first she is because she makes prediction about the Weasley sister who noone believes to exist BC Ginny hasn't come out yet but once that's a thing people start realizing Trelawny actually knows what she's doing mostly?
-Snape being at the resurrection stone thing where harry talked to Sirius and his parents and Lupin.
Also putting Fred there.
Actually maybe Snape survives somehow and thus can have a reunion with potter after the Battle of Hogwarts
-The 7 potters plan having even more potters because time turners? This is kinda shaky
-some reason why the ministry didn't or couldn't protect against polyjuice when the trio broke in
-an explanation or demonstration of why potion masters aren't constantly trying to brew like 9000 batches of liquid luck
-at least one of Dumbledore's Army become unregistered animagi (I wanna say either Ginny or Harry if not both, maybe they get more screentime together this way)
-Why was none of Harry's classmates (Hermione, who researched the crap out of Hogwarts, Ron who is like the 9474th in his direct family to come through the school) as first years aware of the sorting hat ahead of time but harry could tell his kid before he got sorted? Explanation! Fidelius charm, broken during the battle of Hogwarts.
-more talk about Muggle technology (this time Harry's first year is around 2010) and muggleborns like Hermione encouraging the use of it (instead of using ministry trackable means of communication, just send texts)
-also some demonstration of wireless tech not working properly at super magical places such as Hogwarts or the quidditch world cup or the ministry of magic, places with antimuggle charms on them. Not getting service at the Weasley's place.
-Oh and we really need some neurodiversity in there. Maybe Harry with some ADHD stuff?
-Neville definitely autistic I mean he already comes across as not doing well in school other than his special interest in herbology, despite later turning out to be a really good wizard.
-And let's give some background characters stuff too. McGonagall casting charms on a wheelchair so a student can levitate it up the staircases and get to classes
-A deaf or mute character struggling in class until they get the hang of silent casting like more powerful casters are able to
-Changing Witch and Wizard from being a gender thing to more of fields of study. Using a wand? That's wizardry. Not using a wand? Now it's witchcraft.
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Hello!! Can I ask for a (male) ship for Marvel, Downtown Abbey, Star Trek and The Witcher? I am a girl in college studying Biology, I am kind of short, long brown hair and eyes, I kinda look serious and intimidating. I am a bit quiet and anxious if I don't know a person but become kind of bold and unpredictable (been told that) if I am confortable around someone. In my free time I love watching kdramas, reading books and hiking with my dogs. And thank you so much for this, please take care 💕💕
MARVEL - PROFESSOR CHARLES XAVIER
Wow biology, professor over here thinks ur so extraordinary and very smart. Since ur still in college he’ll ask u questions out of the blue based on biology to see if you’ll get it. He loves messing w u to see ur reaction. He feels so happy to have met u bc he feels he can be himself around u. Ur very into ur books and studies and learning knew things and the children make fun of him so when u have the same likes as him it makes him feel young and not odd. He wants to show every kid to u bc he is proud. He would be so happy if the children would turn out like you so he sets you as an example for his young ones. But he does like a night out and a little party so if u like to go to the bar and just relax a little and have fun he is super down for that. U and him will prob have a drinking contest between u two which Charles will prob win. He sometimes feels tho bc he is in a wheelchair that he is holding u back from the things u like such as hiking. He sometimes hates himself and hopes he doesn’t ruin the relationship. You tell him he could never and that u love him. When you soothe him and praise him and just tell him sweet nothings in his ear he legit just kisses you because he wonders how did he get someone so perfect.
DOWNTON ABBEY - MATTHEW CRAWLEY
He is so fascinated by all the hobbies u enjoy. Korean? Like nobody talks about other parts of the world in downton. He loves how I like to learn knew thing and explore ur ideas and thinking. He finds u very different and unique but in a good way. Ur not like the rest of the snotty rich people that live around here. Matthew himself loves to learn new things so he wishes to learn more biology from u. Nobody knows tho if he really wanted to learn it or he just said it to get close to you. He likes how intimidating you look tbh it kinda scared him but then you introduced a new side to you and side he deeply treasured and loved bc u only showed it to ppl close to you. Matthew loves to take you to dances and gatherings to show you off and he loves to buy you new dresses and jewelry even if it may not be ur style he still does it to show you he loves you. He also buys you books that contain amazing information about the world. Matthew loves to kiss you and almost always has his arm on your Lower back. And in dinners or luncheons he is always either sitting beside u or in front of you. He just has to see ur darling face all the time it puts him at ease. He doesn’t care either what ppl may say about u. Ppl talk and he won’t allow no one not a soul to disrespect you. He loves you no matter what and he is going to think that till the day he dies.
STAR TREK - LEONARD MCCOY
Biology, medicine as a doctor? Not really that far off that’s why you assist and help Leonard when there is a short of staff. He understands ur learning still and makes this a training excercise for you. He tries not to pressure you too much but he just knows u can do it bc ur so smart and he feels u r almost there. Leonard is kinda ur teacher and he’s so glad to have met you. He thinks you’re gorgeous and he wanted to be urs the minute he saw u. U r a simple girl and u find pleasure in simple things which really attracts him. You also laugh at his jokes which he really likes. If u come in all serious and quiet one day he will make it his mission to make u laugh or smile. He loves that u r unpredictable because then that makes the relationship fun and exciting. He likes that u can keep up w him and handle urself he finds that super enticing. He loves to take u to a window showing all of space and he kisses u there and just rests against u talking about the future he sees u two in. He wants this for the long run and he is willing to risk his life protecting you from harm.
WITCHER - JASKIER
He finds u reading alone quiet and that makes him want to introduce himself and sing to u which ur like no pls stop. Geralt likes u and finds u a real help to the team. Especially w ur hiking. Geralt and jaskier think ur amazing at hiking and u go really fast jaskier is amazed at ur ability. He thinks ur super sexy to see how strong u are and independent but also like animals especially dogs he finds that so cute about u and vows one day to get u a dog u can call ur own. When ur in a bad mood or serious he will sing u a silly song to get u to cheer up and then crack jokes oh yeah he’s in love w u. He doesn’t care about like anything else except u. Especially at night when u rest ur head against his chest he just thanks the stars that u r ok and safe and here w him. He wants to make u happy and loved so he’ll do anything u ask this boy worships u ok. He thinks ur so smart and he like wants to be as smart as u sometimes cuz he thinks if he is not u may leave him so he tries to learn something new everyday and he really enjoys learning knew things from you. You expand his mind. He loves to give you forehead kisses or on top of the head kisses cuz ur short and he loves to do that to you. And whenever ur anxious jaskier will hold ur hand and not let go unless u r ok.
#ask#anonymous#ask game#ships#i ship you with...#matchups#ship game#game#marvel#xmen#charles xavier x reader#dowton abbey#matthew crawley x reader#star trek#leonard mccoy x reader#the witcher#jaskier x reader
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I’m kind of in a mood suddenly so below the cut there will be me just talking about fanfics I have read or am reading and why I like fanfic and stuff because I need to just
Fanfiction fucking rocks the basic part before all the stuff about it as the story just...it’s so easy to access and there’s so much and it’s just all there on the internet I don’t have to find a physical book
And on AO3 (where 90% of good currently-updating fic is afaik) there is TAGGING where you will know what you’re getting into (unless the author suddenly adds a sex scene and only then updates the tags but at least they give a warning at the start of the chapter but it doesn’t bother me as much as it did a couple years ago as long as I know it’s coming I know it’s a tool and it has its uses) with character drama and deaths and all that jazz not to mention how Ash being a badass has a specific tag and just other random things having tags that are important parts of the story
Like there are multiple fics I have found (not all of them are living fics sadly) of writing Ash’s journey in the beginning differently, like there was one I saw once that I kind of forgot to keep reading where he went to Sinnoh (and was still rivals with Paul and I think their ship tag was there?) and it said it was following game plot and then there’s one that I definitely don’t have open anymore because it didn’t update for some amount of time where he had a Joltik and then a Ferroseed and it’s really cool and a different one that’s still living and it’s called Pity of the World and Jesse + James (who is genderfluid in this fic) + Meowth are good people and stuff and just steal abused Pokemon and they run into Ash and they all end up being travel buddies and Ash understands Pokemon (not literally of course that’s not this fic) and also just knows what James’ gender is before they say anything and also in one chapter Zapdos is in Gringy City and says something about friendship being for mortals or something??? idk we’ll see and then there’s a different fic that I was reading and lost when switching devices and Ash was raised by Pokemon and literally can speak Pokemon and it was really neat but I haven’t tried to find where I left off because I’m too lazy for that tbh but it is still updating it’s Symbiosis or Symbiotic or something like that
Most things involving Ash that aren’t shippy or weird like that (ok there are some I’m not interested in but whapdfajaldjakjdf) end up being really cool because he’s a fucking legendary magnet which can either be played for laughs or deadly serious or just not be part of the fic if it isn’t relevant and so many fics use Aura it’s really cool (including Pity of the World I think he mega evolves Pidgeot (who evolves before leaving) when he fights Sabrina who does not have a doll in this fic) and there are different ways they do it and the thing I was mentioning about his connection with Pokemon like maybe it’s just a bit more than normal or it’s just yes he is everything and I kinda skipped out on gens 6 and 7 of the anime but I get enough to understand what they mean in chat fics and when referring to it in other fics it’s really cool
I think I mentioned Creepypasta and how there were two Harry Potter Creepypasta fics, one that was one and was slow to update if it wasn’t dead and one that was on the fourth one actually I was wrong about what number it was I think and updates every two weeks the first one is more lighthearted/written by a younger person like Slendy is a character and Harry x a lot of the ‘pastas I guess and it takes place starting before 4th year and the beginning is kinda meh with some weird dialogue and absurd levels of Dumbledore Ron and Hermione bashing but it does call out some of the other legitimate problems like how the lake trial in the tournament just kidnaps people which is very big because it was Ben who was kidnapped so big yikes there and honestly it’s not what you want to read if you want something really high-quality and serious like not that it doesn’t take itself seriously but it feels closer to something I would have read when I was in middle school than most of the Sanders Sides fics I read (just using that as comparison because the vast majority of that is well-written stuff). Then the other one!!!! For one it has a much more realistic/developed take on the Creepypastas’ existence like how the stories are how they exist with Slenderman being a cosmic horror being thing more than a character with character which is always really cool and Jeff kidnaps Harry as a baby (he is Boy when he is with the Creepypasta and Harry when at Hogwarts and there’s some really cool stuff about how they’re different) and, having lived with murderers, Harry gives zero fucks about things and kills Fluffy in the first book long before other stuff happens, Quirrel tries to use him to get the stone but gets annihilated at the mirror because family and then Voldemort is just a giant white snake for the rest of the series so far and also because he sucks Lockhart tries to exorcise Harry because Harry is fucking nuts and it’s great and also Harry is a Hufflepuff and there is probably more Gryffindor bashing than is necessary and pretty much all the adults get bashed for sucking (like in book 3 the boggart stuff is called out for being hella dangerous for them also Harry can’t cast the Patronus charm make of that what you will idk what) though Harry does make for quite the conversation topic among the teachers, Harry x Neville is the main ship and Neville eventually gets resorted into Hufflepuff because the Gryffindors are being massive dicks to him, also Harry flirts with Draco because Harry gives no fucks and it’s great (also both books give Luna lots of love, like the young one she’s a Seer like from Madame Macabre’s old webcomic that’s dead as it gets and the long one she’s just a good character and shit) and Harry makes these books to spread Slenderman’s legend throughout Britain/the Wizarding World and Draco may have gotten one and survived???? but now Neville has one during the summer months (and also through feeding Fanged Geraniums or whatever live stuff and blood instead of bonemeal he is creating Audrey II and straight-up says something about having to call it Harry Jr. but that’s probably just a little joke and isn’t going to stay beyond this but it’s just fun because Little Shop of Horrors slaps) and I have big fear about him doing the stuff and getting hurt and Harry/Boy conflict will be scary
There’s this other fic I found when trying to find good fics involving Ash and it’s kinda weird and seems to be written by a younger author but we’ll see where things go, like Harry got transported by Celebi to the world of Pokemon and Giovanni is Silver and Ash’s dad and they live with him and also Harry does too and he’s in a wheelchair and also is really smart and I wish we had gotten to spend a bit longer seeing their dynamics before when Harry is 14 the Goblet of Fire somehow spits his name out and Celebi helps with getting Harry (and also the other three because of course) safely there without dying because dimensional travel is hard and Celebi is friend and Luna gets to be important here too I think she’s shown up as a named student and guided them to a room and seems to know things about the castle and that’s kinda all there is so far there’s a bit more but it’s not got a lot yet I hope the author keeps going it’s a weird idea but I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes
Oh I forgot to talk about it but there’s this whump Ash fic that was being written under one title but it got dropped and now it’s being rewritten with the same concept but under a new title and going about a lot of things a different way it’s just the same starting premise and the fic is Helpless and Ash almost dies multiple times and there’s this theme of adults failing him and also Gary fucks a thing up and Ash needs support and therapy (a good number of fics have Ash needing therapy but given the shit he’s been through that is not surprising especially from my limited knowledge of Kalos holy shit Lysandre was doing some mad shit) and it’s just good but it is a lot of hospital and Ash being hurt and almost dying so be warned if that isn’t a safe read for you
The reason I don’t just outright block explicit anymore despite the horrors of trying to find safe Pokemon fic on AO3 amidst the consensual porn, incest porn, pokephilia porn, etc., is I randomly decided to try and find some Sonic fanfic on AO3 because a couple people on YouTube have been doing Sonic story stuff (Sonic What If has some good stuff that’s just... what-if scenarios and then there’s Sonic Rewritten which takes a game’s plot and then redoes it but good like the Deadly Six having personalities or Sonic 06 not having maybe bestiality or Generations being more than ‘oh past and present stages now have nostalgia’ and Robotnik and Eggman are significantly different people in that one and it’s really cool) and I thought maybe I would find some good stuff on AO3 (which I have but nothing that I want to ramble about specifically though there was one fic where Eggman does Tails clone and then his original body dies so he’s stuck looking like Tails and it’s kinda wild) and I found a fic that was marked explicit because torture and violence (honestly it wasn’t that bad) and I like it and don’t want to miss something that I might like by accidentally blocking it and now when I try to find Pokemon fic I have to see Leon x Hop and Pokemon x human smut.
There’s one Sanders Sides fic that I was reading and I don’t remember the name nor do I know if it’s updating I think I lost it but it started from the beginning of the series with the Dark Sides being a platonic poly family and when they weren’t in the episode they were talking about it/the Light Sides and it’s honestly really really good and the author just decided to have Deceit’s name be Janus and it was amazing when it turned out that was his real name it was just great but IDK if the fic has been abandoned, I think I lost it in the shift, but it was really good (but sympathetic dark sides and unsympathetic patton and roman and logan for a bit so do be warned if those aren’t comfortable for you)
Oh yeah I remembered another fic I can talk about there was this one Creepypasta fic and it’s completed and it is a Jeff x Reader but it kind of just stops being about the romance after a certain point and just goes way off the rails. It starts like ‘oh this will be a normal x reader with mansion and Slendy is dad and Zalgo is probably evil’ and then NOPE SLENDERMAN HAS BEEN RAISING FAMILIES THAT LOVE HIM TO TURN THEM INTO CRYSTALS TO MAKE HIM MORE POWERFUL AND ZALGO IS AGAINST THAT and it just is great like I never see Zalgo being good, like Slenderman being evil or whatever is plenty common (especially in the innumerable ARG fics I don’t read because I don’t have the attention span to learn what the fuck the source is) but never in tandem with Zalgo being anything but chaotic evil n shit it’s wild and it’s great and also Slenderman’s parents have faces I guess idk that was weird also there is one smut chapter but like the author said you can skip the smut and I did and didn’t feel like I missed any plot stuff so if that’s a no for you just keep an eye out for the author’s warning. It is by a younger writer, as demonstrated by its daily updates while it was being written, tiny chapters, and some general writing style stuff common to younger writers, but honestly I just love it for being something so wildly different, under the guise of a typical x Reader fic.
Speaking of ship stuff and Creepypasta the trilogy of Sans x Creepypasta fics are amazing. The writer definitely improves over time, the beginning of the first book kind of has the weird ‘then I knew I was in love’ stuff from a couple of the pastas (then again I’m ace and demiro so starting romance is just generally weird) but it is just a really good series. Sans ends up with seven kids in the third book and, while everyone else in the Undertale cast is bashed in the first two, Papyrus does seem to get some redemption in the third, so there is that. Also Murderer Sans is a fantastic tag, Gaster made a deal with Zalgo to create the skelebros and Sans is more demon than Papyrus by a lot and Zalgo is trying to kidnap Sans and Sans’ children so he has his family together to destroy the world and wander free and it’s wild and also Chara and Flowey show up and also LJ being an angel is mentioned and relevant to the plot for a bit so that’s neat and I don’t know all the details of how it ends because I lost it when I shifted and didn’t want to find where I was but it’s a great fic (albeit with a few things I can argue on) and the author has also been writing other Sans x Creepypasta stuff but I haven’t read it because idk
I really wish I had a good Minecraft fanfic to gush about but I really don’t it’s hard to find Minecraft fic that isn’t tuber-based, either Dream and friends (which occasionally I find a good one but so much is either Dream SMP which I have no interest in getting into, involves people I don’t know from Dream SMP, or just is shippy or straight-up doesn’t have a premise I’m interested in) or Hermitcraft (I fell behind so I have no idea what’s happening anymore) (but also like Mianite and Aphmau stuff but not as much as used to, but now Dream rules all so), and it just sucks. Like if some of it was Team Crafted fic I would be on board like hell yeah give me that nostalgia juice but it’s so much shit I just don’t know. I love the idea of Minecraft fanfic because there are so many options for the world and you can either make your own characters and you probably have to but then there’s just if you use Steve Alex Herobrine or Notch how they are written depends on the author and I live for that shit it’s a big part of why I read Creepypasta fic it’s because I like when there are different ways characters can be done (not unsympathetic or sympathetic like Patton so much like straight-up different characters) like Herobrine and Notch are the big ones like good vs evil, involved vs not, serious vs comedic, there are so many different ways to play them and I’m so disappointed AO3 doesn’t have much of it and so much of it is just Dream stuff and it usually just isn’t what I’m after in a fic.
The only other fics coming to mind right now are two wildly different fics involving Springtrap x Reader, one of them is being transferred from Wattpad for copy reasons, complete with tiny-ass chapters and that language that’s just so middle-school in the best way possible (like William and Springtrap are different consciousnesses and they way the author describes their struggle at one point is just so similar to a stupid thing I did and I have so much affection for it) and the other is legitimately really really good and the reader-insert has recently found out that Springtrap is William Afton and has murdered many children and they are currently dying multiple times to help his victims pass on because they can see ghosts and it’s actually really good and I have no idea where things are going, reader has currently met up with Michael Afton, currently all purple and dead and stuff, and has learned about remnant (weird-ass shit from modern FNAF lore) and it’s getting wild. I feel like there are two types of FNAF fic, ones in the style of FNAF 3/4 and earlier and ones from maybe 4 onward. Like ones where the lore was basically ‘bad man committed murder against children and they’re possessing the animatronics and that’s why they’re trying to kill you’ and then 4 starts having some more expansive lore ish and then after that it just goes everywhere with remnant and scooping and even more locations and also the books matter probably??? There is this one fic involving Glitchtrap that hasn’t updated in a bit and it’s fun, I like the idea of Glitchtrap and really wish I could read more fic just centered around FNAF VR. Then again, BEN was always one of my favorites and after I stopped being absolutely terrified of Herobrine I really liked his possibilities, maybe I just like the story utility and possible execution of characters with wide-ranging powers over technology and affecting the real world outside of it, IDK.
Ok I’m out of ramble energy, and also topics unless I go more in-depth about specific character options, but my energy is gone so I think that’s the end of it. I typed 3,000 words about fanfictions I’m reading and probably could have talked more about some of them if I wanted. This is my new hyperfixation. I guess. At least I know I have one, it’s reassuring to know for some reason, like for a while I missed how much Pokemon was my life in elementary school and Minecraft was in sixth grade, like it was nice just having something to focus on, though maybe that’s just the college and depression talking.
That was good, I’m glad I did that. Y’all are loved.
If you seriously read this entire thing... Wow. I really appreciate you digitally listening to me talking about random fanfic shit that I like. You’re really really cool.
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My chronic illness, how it started.
*Can you guys please reblog and/or tag Taylor?? I really want her to read
this. I want this to get to her and I'll take any help I can get. I rarely ask this but it'd mean to world to me. I wanna get my story
out there (even if this is only a part of the entire story. The rest I
might post sometime if you guys want me too. I think I did include
everything I wanted to for now though). Just thank you all so much!!! I
love you all ❤*
(Im really sorry about how long this is. Its like a little novel. Plus I'm
OCD and tend to talk/rant until it feels just right... I just wanted to
share it with all of you, since its something I would've shared on TSL,
even though it'd probably be too long for there... But I wanted to share it
here because most of those swifties can be found on tumblr, and I want you
all to hear this... Maybe it'll even get to Taylor too. But please read if
you can. It'd mean a lot to me. Also I tried writing this but then it got
deleted when I tried posting it, so hopefully this one posts (I ended up trying to post this ALL DAY. I'm so glad it's finally up).)
Hey Swifties! So, I thought I would post this because its something I'd
post on TSL if it was still around, as I shared pretty much my whole life
on there, and I always found swifties very easy to talk to (plus you're all
just the nicest people)! So, I wanted to share this on here since most
swifties can be found on tumblr. I'm sure i talked a little bit about this
on tsl (my user was stateofgrace1303, same as on here and ig) but I wanted
to tell you guys more, especially because its getting so much more intense
now and like I said I've always found swifties very easy to talk to you.
Basically, when I was 12, my dad took me to see the RED tour at Gillette
Stadium. We had gone to see the Speak Now tour there and I had been
completely wonderstruck (no pun intended) by Taylor that night. I was 10 at
the speak now tour and had idolized Taylor since I was 6 and she put out
TOMG (and I was known as the Taylor Swift girl by now at my school). So
even though I was 10 I asked my dad, if I save up the money will you take
me to see her when she comes again? And he said yes. About 2 weeks before
the show, I had saved up enough. He didn't think i could do it, but I did.
So, I got tickets and we went to the tour. But when I was walking towards
the stadium (we had parked in a lot right down the street), my vision
became weird, almost like tunnel vision although nothing was turning black
around the edges of my vision. My feet looked very far away from me.
Suddenly, a rush of dizziness came over me and instinctively i grabbed onto
my dads arm to keep from falling down. He asked if I was okay and I could
barely get out words for some reason. I was starting to sweat and we
thought maybe i was dehydrated, so we got into the stadium as quickly as
possible. I was gripping onto everything around me to keep from falling,
but eventually we got into the stadium and I got some water. We had seats
on the field, so that's where I was, drinking some water when suddenly I
was pretty sure I was going to throw up. It was starting to get super
uncomfortable so my dad brought my to the first aid, which was actually
right at the enterance on the field. So when we went in there my dad told
them what was going on and they all looked at me weird and said "people
never get sick. We usually treat bee stings and allergic reactions. We
almost never have people get sick" which actually surprised me. But, they
took me back and laid me down. Almost immediately I started puking. The
nurse I had actually had just had a baby and had some anti nausea
medication on her. So, she gave me that but it didn't work. And I just got
worse. My dad went to find me something to eat so I'd have something in my
stomach. He came back with some chips and iced/frozen lemonade but I threw
up every time. I was so dizzy at this point I was gripping onto the bed
they had me on and puking my guts out, as well as sweating a lot. After a
while, as it only got worse, they actually thought I might have had food
posioning and asked what I ate. But there they noticed something. I was
completely white. Like white as a ghost. Except for my lips, which were
turning blue. And I was struggling to breathe. They wanted to take me to
Boston Childrens and my dad asked if I wanted to, but it was Taylor. I
couldn't miss it. So I said no for that reason. But actually, everyone at
the stadium was trying to get me tickets for the show the next night as she
was playing two nights. Security guards, the nurses, my dads girlfriend...
But nobody could get tickets in the end which was okay. But later my dad
went and for a list of everybody's set times. I had been in first aid for
about an hour at this point. He came back with the list and said "I promise
I will not let you miss them" he said and pointed to Ed Sheerans name, then
Taylor, since I was a huge Ed fan as well. He knew I probably wouldn't be
able to stay, but even seeing them for a minute would've been perfect to
me. Another hour had passed, and I was still there in the same condition.
It was terrifying, and they were really pushing me to go to the hospital
(they wanted to call an ambulance because they actually thought something
very bad might happen if they didn't). But I keep pushing that off because
I wanted to see Taylor and Ed so badly. But, 2 hours I had been there in
the same condition, puking up everything, completely white with blue lips,
struggling to breathe, so dizzy I couldn't even sit up. It was starting to
get painful honestly. So, I suddenly just burst out crying. I was just a 12
year old who wanted to see my idol, and I got this... This weird sickness,
and got stuck in first aid. In so much pain. I didn't even really
understand what was happening. I had always been a sick kid. Always getting
colds and infections. In fact, I almost died as a baby from a problem with
my kidneys, and had become septic. Its a miracle I lived. But I had never
experienced anything like this... And to experience it when I was just
trying to see my idol? When it was only my second concert ever? It crushed
me tbh. My dad asked what was wrong and I finally said the words I had been
avoiding all night... "I wanna go home" (which was actually his
girlfriend's house who lived in Boston... I'm from Maine). And he said
"okay". That was all he needed and he left, walking back towards where we
left the car. However, around 7:30ish the traffic in this area is really
weird I cant even explain it. But traffic can only go one way, instead of
both ways like normal.. So he couldn't get a ride back to the car and had
to walk, and then drive the car in traffic all the way to the stadium to
pick me up. So i had to wait a while, and while I did I heard clapping and
then a British voice say "hello Boston" and he started playing give me
love. I listened to him play and i only cried more because I was so
frustrated I couldn't go out there to see him. About half way through the
set, my dad showed up. They let him park in a no parking zone to come and
get me so he was right next to the enterance to the field. They were going
to put me in a wheelchair, but instead my dad came and helped me up. He was
holding me up straight and almost dragged me out of the first aid station,
into the stadium. I remember this part so well. The air hit me, I heard
Ed's voice clearly and saw him on stage, and suddenly, I let go of my dad,
and I was able to stand on my own... And I was fine. It was like a miracle.
I yelled to my dad over the music "is it too late to stay?" And he screamed
back "what??? After all that you wanna stay???" And I said yes, so, we
stayed. He went to go move the car (the girl was so nice who did the
parking, he told her the story, and he just needs to park the car and het
back in the stadium, how much would it cost. And the girl said park
wherever you want no charge. I thought that was seriously the sweetest
thing.) Sooo he did that, and since I was only 12 in a huge stadium, one of
the cops that was patroling the place stayed with me and asked me all kinds
of questions about Ed Sheeran, especially about the A-Team, when he played
it. He said "this isn't his song right?? Is this a cover?? I know this
song." And I told him it wad and told him all about it. It was the ideal
conversation for 12 year old me 😂 Anyway, my dad came back, we got to our
seats, and I actually met Andrea for a very brief moment! And before I knew
it, Taylor was playing. And I had made it through the entire show. I woke
up the next morning, still feeling a little sick but actually felt better
after eating, so I thought the worst was over. But, I was wrong... I didn't
know that one night would become my life... And god I wish I had gone to
the hospital... Maybe I would be okay now if I had... But anyway... A month
later (in August), it happened at my friends end of summer party. Then a
month later (in September), while I was at school... Each time worse than
the time before. Everyone had been informed I was having issues, but nobody
had seen anything happen yet. I seemed like myself. Then one day, I was on
my way to lunch with my friends, and I collapsed in the hallway... Same
thing happening. All my friends freaked out and 2 stayed with me while the
rest went to get the nurse. She actually thought I was dying, and honestly
I could've. She called my mom and said she wasn't sure if she should call
my mom or an ambulance. Then my mom came and got me and immedaitly took me
to my doctor (because she said next time it happens to come in so they
could monitor me). I was monitored and fell asleep, then 4 hours later i
woke up like nothing happened. After that i was pulled out of school and
constantly at the doctor. And I just got sicker and sicker... Which was
later diagnosed as... "Anxiety". By an unqualified doctor. He was a thyroid
doctor and diagnosed me with that?? As time went on, I got incredibly sick
to the point I can't even move. I have become completely disabled and lose
control of my body a lot. It's like my brain is disconnected from my body.
And I get this weird feeling im falling off a cliff and I cant feel my arms
and when that happens, I cant move at all. I cant even express how bad it
can get, how scary and painful it is. I'm a lot sicker than most people
think I am... I spend most days in bed, actually unable to move. I find
ways to keep my spirits up, luckily. Mostly its listening to Taylor and
watching friends but yeah 😂 I have days where I can't even sit up I'm so
dizzy and weak and it hurts so much. Its also terrifying when you don't
have full control over your own body. Absoultely terrifying. Although I
have okay days where I can stand up and function for a little bit, most
days lately have been like this... Bad and living from my bed due to
weakness and dizziness (extreme dizziness honestly). I have days where its
even a struggle to breathe, the most simple thing in the world. It gets
depressing at times... When you spend all ur time in bed or a wheelchair it
really can vet discouraging... But I'm still fighting. And I'm so happy I
am. And like I said, Taylor always lifts me up. Even on my worst, most
disabled and bed ridden days. Oh, that reminds me... I also have seizures
now, sadly. But I hadn't had what happened that night at the RED tour in a
while though... Until one night last year... While I was seeing Ed Sheeran
in Gillette Stadium 😂 Maybe its him?? I dont know 😂 Anyway, I spend most
days in bed, and I do online schooling now. I've seen Taylor twice since
then. For 1989 and for reputation. With 1989 I needed a lot of help but I
got through it. Reputation, it had gotten so bad I needed a wheelchair and
I still do whenever I go out, really. I dont have full control over my body
and I'm too weak and just very sick. I'm really hoping to go to lover fest
but if i do will need a wheelchair and even then I'll probably still feel
sick... But Taylors worth it ❤ Hopefully can get ada seating like with rep.
Wanted to keep this last part short but I think I failed 😂 Mainly wanted
to focus on the red tour. My health story is so incredibly long, I couldn't
say it all (maybe I will later). However, for now, I will tell you this, I
was diagnosed with a thyroid disease, migraines, and seizures. Then it was
discovered that all of this... Was advanced Lyme Disease... And it created
something called Dysautonomia (basically a disfunction of the autonomic
nervous system, which most people don't even realize they have, or how
important it is, until it makes you sick and either nearly kills or
cripples you... Depending on the kind though.) Also known as POTS, or
Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (there are actually 15 kids of
dysautonomia, that being one of them, I might possibly have more than one
kinda, were not sure yet. But its basically half cardiology half
neurology). And there's no cure... I could be this way, this disabled and
sick for a while... But there are treatments that might work luckily!!!
Since there are no Dysautonomia clinics in Maine, I either have to go to
New York, Baltimore, Cleveland, or Minneapolis. So looks like im taking a
trip! Sadly to a hospital, but still 😊 I honestly don't know how we'll pay
for it, but I need it, or I will spend my life like this. So I'm sure we'll
find a way... Like I always seem to do in life, no matter what 😊❤ Oh, and
funny thing is, I have something called PANS as well... So I have Pots and
Pans 😂😂😂 Anyway, I just wanted to share this with you guys because like
I said you guys are always so great and Taylor is my favorite artist so I
wanted to share it with the people who understand my love for her. I've
been a huge fan of her for 13 years (I'm 18, 19 next month, now). Theres
something about her... She's always helped me but especially now. She makes
me so happy and feel so safe during this time... Im fact, the only time i
smile like i did when I was younger,before all of this, is when I listen to
Taylor. I even have a Long Live tattoo on my wrist because I felt it
represented my love for her the most, and what we've made as a fandom, the
magic we've created. Plus, it reminds me that I'm fighting my battle (this
"dragon") with Taylor and her music on my side, as well as all of you. And
it makes me smile. I can't wait to get more Taylor tattoos... Honestly,
after all of this and the other health issues I faced as a baby and a
child, I can't believe I'm still here, that I'm still living... Especially
because since I've always been so sick with so many different illnesses and
health issues to the point I'm disabled, my immune system is so weak. I
truly cannot believe I'm still here. But... I guess my body just isn't
ready to give up. It hasn't yet at least!!! And it doesn't want to. It
won't. I'm strong. Me, and my body, want to fight until the very end. And
I'm grateful for that. So grateful that I am still alive, and still
fighting every day of my life. It might be hard, and I can't function or do
really anything but lay in bed and watch tv most days, but I'm just so
thankful that I'm still alive, that it's okay I have to be at the doctors
so much and have to take all these meds (I do anything at this point that
can help me even the slighest). And no matter what life throws at my
health, my body always fights it and gets right back up. I fall down 10
times, I stand up 11. And I could not have the courage and strength to do
this if it wasn't for my idol, Taylor Swift. I've been a fan of Taylor for
13 years (I'm 18 now, 19 next month) so her and her music have helped me
through every problem I have ever faced, and this is no different. She has
a song for everything, so I can always find something to listen to that
makes me feel like she understands and she's telling me it'll be okay...
And ever since LOVER came out, I've been listening to soon you'll get
better on days its really bad, and my girlfriend sends me that song on bad
days too... It makes me feel safe. And like I can fight this. Thank you,
Taylor. I will never be able to repay you. I may struggle with this every
single day im here on earth, but with your music and the support I feel
from the swiftie fam, I know I'll get through it. Anyway... I guess I
should end this here. Again, sorry this is so long but if you read this
thank you so much for taking the time to!! If you made it to this point,
I'm proud 😂❤ And it means the world to me, you have no idea. Im hoping
this will get to Taylor and maybe even Ed one day. I love you all so much
and once again, thank you for reading!! ❤❤❤
@taylorswift @taylornation 🌈❤ @taylornotices 💜
(Pic is from when I was in First Aid at Ed Sheeran. It was so bad there
they had to give me an IV. I was in the first aid station, wrapped up in my
nightmare before Christmas blanket, on a stretcher with an IV in my hand
pretty much the entire night. It was so painful. When I arrived to first
aid I was actually unresponsive. Like I knew what was happening but I
couldn't talk or open my eyes. All I could do was make very small
movements. It felt like my body was shutting down. I was having bad heart issues as well and they wanted to give me a medicine fot my nausea but since I had lyme disease it could make my heart issues worse so they had to give me an EKG... Right there at the concert 😂 Interesting... But, I got through it.
Like always 😊 So yeah thats where the
picture is from ❤)
#taylurking#taylorswift#taylorstans#taylornation#red#redtour#edsheeran#lymedisease#dysautonomia#taylorlurking#i love you taylor#tay#usertaylornotices#tswift
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Give me your thoughts on uuuh Jake
wew boy
okay. gonna word dump this, and probably other interpretation asks, so I can get the words out there.
from my POV, there’s 3 types of canon Jake + 1 fanon vers + my personal interpretation. lemme explain what they are;
Book Jake, who I don’t have enough experience with bc I STILL haven’t finished the book… >_>;
2River Jake, who is kinda oblivious and very in-the-moment impulsive (not so bad he’s jumping place to place ADHD like Rich, but like, not considering that maybe dropping everything to seduce Madeline or Christine is a bad idea when he clearly really likes Chloe). these are debatably survival mechanisms bc of his family (and wealth, if you want to go into the “being rich actually traumatizes you and locks you into dissociation” theory–but to be fair, this is partially reliant on thinking Jake is Genuinely Rich. … well, not Rich as in… yeah); ignoring any pain he feels in favor of getting dicked down and forgetting about everything for a while. very “I’m not sad, I’m busy!!!!!”
Bway (possibly the new canon general for all Jakes since it sounds like London’s is modeled after him but just… toned down), who is still oblivious, but towards other people’s emotions instead of himself; he’s manipulative, a little impulsive but a lot more malicious about it, and he knows exactly how hurt he is about his parents. this jake’s awareness of himself makes him act worse because he knows this is the only thing that seems to help and it’s basically the only thing he actually has control of. his wealthiness is undeniably present and Bad here because the reason taking what he wants and not caring that it hurts people is his main coping skill is pretty much only because he’s been allowed that privilege all his life. i tend to think this version of him should be done by a white cishet dude (despite jake’s actor on bway being genuinely FANTASTIC) bc being marginalized in a high school should’ve curved a lot of the “endless power and privilege” he gets for being rich (Not That One).
[i… think this jake has ‘better’/more nuanced writing in BWay… but i don’t think it fits the musical nor is it the overall direction i think it should’ve gone. BMC feels best to me when there’s a heavier element of Dark Humor that briefly nods to a Larger and more Fucked Up world behind the bit we see in the musical. making it largely a twisted comedy, maybe even ramping that up further with more whiplash lines like jake’s “which means the house is empty, so that’s fun”]
Fanon Jake is… like most of the fanon characters in BMC, a bit… “bipolar” (like, radically shifting depending on the situation). the BMC fandom has been born with heavy engagement from minors in the current fascist climate of fandom as a whole. as a result, you have three general uses of jake that as “approved of” by somehow the exact same people despite being conflicting in a lot of ways. THIS IS NOT ME SHITTING ON FANON, i actually think most of this fandom is just a casual romp for most people and that shouldn’t be snatched away from them nor mocked nor treated like you HAVE to be logically consistent when this is just a fun hobby for most… but there are still trends i notice:
1: Jake the sweet bi disaster who loves their significant other and is just a little bit hopeless in their silliness and Down For Whatever-esque personality. this is often used for shippy pictures and memes and cute little oneshots, plus, of course, fluff.
2: Jake the tragic abuse victim who is extremely sad and has to learn to love again and has always been selfless, plus or minus a permanent disability post-fire. this is of course used for hurt/comfort, plus in combination kinda with michael in the bathroom-esque posts and tragic art, often also used as an example of the squip being the worst for jeremy or rich guilt trauma. also: aesthetic and moodboard posts.
3: the one I have the least good will towards: Jake the “why does everybody woobify mlm? You can’t portray him without flaws! queer boys aren’t your fetish!!!” with an attached, clunkily written reasons why he was an asshole that is also simultaneously watered down so you don’t think he’s a Monster bc then you’d be vilifying queer men (well, more like they’d feel bad about their cutesy-er ‘emotional support’ art and writing which is Totally Different from all the other cutesy emotional support art and writing).
basically, Meta Trying To Make Jake Reasonably Flawed But Not Evil in this fandom is RARELY genuine–it’s more often than not moralistic hand-wringing made so that they can wash themselves of the guilt for actually enjoying something with a character they portray as mlm, or otherwise the guilt of enjoying anything romantic or sexual involving men or queer people period when we’re apparently not supposed to do that anymore, as decreed by the radfems infesting our spaces.
and, well, or you’re an mlm writing this post, you’re probably young and still feeling extremely sensitive and scared about your identity. i once saw a very wise post by a trans person who had been trans for a long time, who said that when you first come out as trans (or queer in general, but especially trans people who are beginning social or physical transition and coming to terms with themselves) you are obvs on High Fucking Alert and so you’re insecure and scared of anything, ranging from “obvious transphobia” to “just trans people enjoying themselves and exploring transphobia in fiction or else their own sexuality”. again, this can relate to a lot of identities tbh, and as such young mlm either cis or trans can get very Itchy about people enjoying mlm content.
anyway.
wrapping it back around to me: i edit jake on a case by case basis (sometimes i even make him eviler or meaner based on what’s set up during Bway, he’s just not my usual go-to villain), but i tend to think of him as a tragic Mr. Peanutbutter-y sweetheart who kinda knows he feels like shit yet also knows that if he stops to assess it, it would make his life a lot harder in a time where he can’t afford that. his relationship with chloe is extremely toxic (chloe abuses him horribly, specifically), and so he tries to claw his way out of it only to be continually back in by chloe and her bullshit.
this is why he doesn’t really get... well. he genuinely thought the thing with christine was going to be permanent; he wasn’t jerking her around, he thought he was over chloe and wanted a girl as cool and fun and genuinely nice as her. afterward he Gets It, and so feels Really Bad--at a time where he doesn’t have his house, his legs are broken (i don’t tend to put him in a perma-wheelchair), his parents have abandoned him, and he best friend is in the hospital. guilt crashes in on him from all sides, and he just has to... pretend it isn’t, even as he can no longer stop himself from thinking about it.
if i was to do a jake focused story, it’d probably be a dating sim where you play as him and watch his life change in conjunction with his attempts to find happiness again; you can either choose decisions that help him greatly or ruin his life so ver much... hmm. lets file that under hashtag “story ideas i’ll never use even though they could be great”
to wrap this up: i like jake. i don’t... really enjoy most of the written content (fanfic, meta, sometimes even the storylines on ask blogs) in this fandom about him or... really, most of the characters, which i feel bad about--i’d enjoy it more if it was every in conjunction with my usual Wants in a fic, which is, like. extreme angst.
BUT
i do still like jake, and i can super enjoy his portrayal in memes and visual art
he’s just not my total fave, but like, the reason he tends not to come up a lot in my content is more what i’m focusing on and why. i’d be happy to use him in stories if his presence fit.
as a bonus
here’s the ships i’m happy to use him for, generally: deere, michael/jake, brooke/jake, toxic chloe/jake, and of course, different ocs/jake
his identities/labels: cis, bisexual/romantic... tho sometimes i actually go for bisexual and aromantic! outside bway and eviler jakes, i’m good with him being any race, and even then it’s just a matter of suspending disbelief re: privilege theory. also, PTSD probably, and maybe generalized anxiety as a result. maaaaaybe autistic too? adhd would be a hard sell for me since he seems super put together in a way that’d be extremely difficult for every form of adhd, but i can see him being neurodivergent on the spectrum + like dyslexia maybe. oh, and i sorta-kinda think he may be color blind? but really i’d drop that at a moment’s notice if it’d be easier to write him without it lol.
his interests: one is more or less sports in general, tho i think that, unless he went straight for track or swimming or something Olympics (which he probably can’t do now...), that’s a high school or some college only focus for him. so, besides sports, i think he’d kinda like the satisfaction and steady growth of Collecting Rare Things That You Have To Look For, like cool rocks, bugs, etc.
as for careers... some form of doctor something, maybe a businessman of some sort but he’d likely try to curve his power in that field as much as possible; he inherits his parents' assets and company or whatever, but he probably takes a backseat to that and only really has it out of a sense of ‘it’s my job as my parent’s kid to keep the company going--without engaging in the same awful legal issues they did--for as long as i can’. one of my fave jake-is-there stories, vanceypant’s spicy bis-focused fic 1999, has him owning a restaurant, and that was cool as hell.
also jake loves dogs. especially golden retrievers. yes.
#be more chill#bmc#jake dillinger#kadabralin#bmc meta#meta#character interpretations#wow this... is long#holy shit sorry about that
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hello! could i please have a matchup? i'm 5'3 with glasses and long brown hair. i'm incredibly shy but, when i open up, i can't shut up. i jokingly "bully" my friends but i actually care for them and i'm a huge procrastinator. i'm an infj-t and i've always wanted to dance, even though i'm unable to (wheelchair tingz). but, even though i'm in a wheelchair, everything else is perfectly fine. i'm also a bit sensitive with jokes unless i'm comfortable with the person. thank you so much!
oh yeah, i’m sorry, i’m the wheelchair matchup anon, i forgot to include that i’m pan, so, any gender is fine!
aaa i was so torn on this!! you’re just too compatible with too many people,,,
but after some thought, i match you with...
sugawara koushi!!
✧ sugawara is biggest boyfriend material, let’s be honest,,, he’s just so good and soft and lovely?? and being pretty doesn’t hurt either but i didn’t say that
✧ he seems like a very comfortable, easy person to be around tbh, and his gentle, kind nature means that despite your shyness, you’d be getting along in no time!! he’d really make that extra effort to include you in conversations and pay attention to which topics you’re more able to say your piece on; he’s just good like that
✧ jokes on him, though, because once he realises he’s Caught Feelings he’s the shy one (and you don’t let him forget it klfjflkj) it literally takes a push from daichi to confess because suga literally can’t talk to you without his face being bright red (that never really stops though, even when you’re years into your relationship)
✧ like you, he takes very good care of his friends, but he isn’t above teasing him (poor asahi gets the brunt of this kldjslkdjs leave him alone everyone he’s not a wimp!!) the main reason i bring this up is because i think he’d really enjoy having a partner who’s on the same level as him??
✧ and it means that he can trust that you’ll return that same amount of attentiveness and care that he’d direct your way; it’s nice to know you don’t have to worry about having an unbalanced relationship, you know??
✧ suga’s very in-tune with people and their feelings, so he would know what would be over the line (not that he’s the type to make mean jokes anyway, but he’d never put you in an uncomfortable position with them). tbh, he’d never but you in an uncomfortable position in general; he’s too attentive and kind to do that ✧ furthermore, he’s a very encouraging person, so that might help combat your procrastination!! he just wants to see you succeed, and he’ll do whatever he can to help you do just that!!
✧ the two would have endlessly good chats, tbh!! i feel like suga would be someone who’s easy to talk to, and he’s a genuinely attentive listener. whenever you’re talking about something you’re passionate about, he’s always paying attention, and you’d be surprised at how often he’ll mention a bit of information that you told him offhandedly one time. he ends up knowing a lot about dance because of you, despite never looking into it himself
✧ he feels bad about the fact that you can’t dance, but he admires how you keep your chin up. he’s often on the lookout for things like performances and what not that the two of you can attend and enjoy, and he’s earned a real appreciation for it as an art form ever since dating you!!
✧ he loves playing with your long hair, and he tends to do it absentmindedly. the repetitive action tends to calm him down whenever he’s stressed or he has something on his mind, and he likes that it’s nice for you, too. he’s also surprisingly good at plaits (something that’ll come in handy when he eventually goes on to be a primary school teacher!)
✧ he’s just a good guy, and he’s so patient and lovely that any relationship with him would be a dream!!
other possible matches
✧ oikawa tooru: i feel like oikawa would enjoy messing with shy people because he likes figuring out what makes people tick. which could be a bit of a mess at first; when he’s still figuring out the line of what’s an acceptable joke or not, he’s definitely going to screw up a bit. but hurting your feelings just makes him feel bad, and that inspires him to get to know you better (almost as an apology). finding out that you can tease right back would be like a slap in the face; and the next thing you know, he’s in Love. other than that, i do think your personalities jive quite well!! you’re a little similar to iwaizumi, which is a pretty good indicator that you and oikawa would get along, and i honestly think he’d flourish with an infj?? idk how to explain it but the short form is just oikawa good!!
✧ yamaguchi tadashi: a little angel,,, it’s going to take you two forever to get to know each other, because you’re both incredibly shy. tadashi just has,,, the biggest crush on you from afar, and he can’t talk to you for ages. tsukki thinks it’s so dumb. tbh, he’s probably the reason you end up talking. tadashi honestly strikes me as a lot like suga, just younger and more insecure. so really, i think your relationship with him would be quite similar?? i think i was just more drawn to picking suga for his maturity. but, tadashi would be just as attentive and loving and kind as suga is, and you two would be disgustingly adorable!!
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