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adhdeancas · 3 years

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12x01 Rewrite with Trans Dean

trigger warnings for minor mention of dysphoria. Also minor/negligent transphobia.

“Mom?” His heart is stopped in his chest, staring at the face he’s kept in his head for all of his life, the face he’s thought of as the only real home he’s ever had. She looks the same, exactly the same. “I… uh, are you really… real?”

He reaches out without thinking, needing to just make sure that Amara didn’t bring back a fantasy or a ghost or a sick joke. She proves it without him touching her, flipping him in a neat trick he recognizes from his own training and ending up with her foot on his neck, pressing him into the dirt. “Where am I? Who the hell are you?”

She looks so scared. Dean swallows, his Adam’s apple bouncing against the bottom of her foot. He needs to make her trust him, preferably before she does something rash like snap his neck. “I’m Dean Winchester. I’m your son. I’m… Sam’s brother”

The pressure lets up on Dean’s neck even though Mary’s shaking her head. “No. No, I don’t have two boys. They’re- they’re just kids.”

Dean winces, breathing heavily. This is gonna be a motherfucker for her to understand. Still, Mary lets him up, and he stands and rubs his neck, trying desperately to recall every bit of information he’s stored away about his mom. “Mom. Listen to me. Your name- your name is Mary Sandra Campbell, okay? You were born December 5, 1954, to Samuel and Deanna Campbell. Your father, he bounced around a lot for, uh, work, and you bounced right along with him, and you ended up in Lawrence, Kansas.”

Mary flinches, the facts hitting straight-on. “How do you know all that?”

“Dad told me.” Dean tells her. He doesn’t tell her that he had to gather the story from slurred words, drunken tears in between stories about the perfect wife. That he recited them in his head like a prayer so he wouldn’t forget her. “March 23, 1972, you walked out of a movie theater - Slaughterhouse-Five. You loved it, and you bumped into a big Marine and you knocked him flat on his ass. You were embarrassed, and he laughed it off, said you could make it up to him with a cup of coffee. So, you went to, uh,” God, what was the name of that stupid place? “Mulroney’s, and you talked and he was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song,” A memory of a smiling young alive Mary comes to mind, and he pushes it away because it hurts. She’s right there. “So when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed. That was the night that -” You fell in love with- “that you met -”

“John Winchester.”

“August 19, 1975, you were married… in Reno. Your idea.”Dean had always thought that was hilarious. He looks her in the eyes again, pleading with her to not dispute the next part. “A few years later, I came along, then Sammy.”

“No, no. My oldest was a girl, Deanna.” Mary looks Dean up and down, taking in his short hair, wide shoulders, and flat chest. He crosses his arms over that now, uncomfortable, hoping she isn’t looking at his long eyelashes or his delicate cheekbones or his hips. All the places he’s insecure about.

“Yeah, um… that’s me.” He looks up at her, his jaw clenching, waiting for the ball to drop. “I shortened the name a little, and the- uh- hair.” He tries for the old charming smile as he runs a hand through the spiky hair he hasn’t let grow out in 20 years. It doesn’t quite get there, settling at a more delicate need for approval. Mary doesn’t give it to him. “Do you believe me?”

She bypasses the question, turning her eyes away from him to look at the car behind him. Something changes in her eyes. “I burned.” She says quietly, like she’s remembering the heat. Dean swallows. He remembers the heat too. “How long have I been gone?”

“33 years.” His voice cracks.

Mary looks back to him, and she moves forward, putting two gentle fingers to his cheek, to the freckles sprayed across soft skin. He’s had them forever, even when he was little. “Dee?” She calls him by his old nickname; Dean’s doubly thankful that he doesn’t use his deadname.

“Hi, mom.” There are tears in his eyes.

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“How did he die?”

Dean bows his head. He’s really not selling himself too good here, is he? First the trans thing, now- “He gave himself up for me.” He’ll be surprised if Mary wants anything to do with him. Surprisingly, she chuckles and sniffles.

“That does sound like John.” He looks over, and she’s smiling. His brow furrows. Killing himself to save Dean’s ass does sound like John, but not in a way that makes him want to smile. “And he was a hunter? And he raised-” She stutters now, looking at him again and looking away just as quickly. “You and Sam to be-”

“Yeah, he did.” A cold weight is settling in Dean’s stomach, and he tries and fails to not let it seep into his words.

“And you said we’ve met before, when you traveled through time,”

Dean nods. It had been horrible and amazing to see Mary and have her see him, just as some guy. A guy, at all. “Twice. Your memory got wiped, so…” So you don’t remember me telling you I was your kid, and you not believing me. I do.

“And you’re… my daughter-”

Dean coughs. He hasn’t been called a daughter in a long-ass time. “No, I’m- I mean. I was. I know it’s a lot. And I’ll explain everything. I will. But right now, let’s get out of here. Let’s get you home. Come on, Mom.”

She doesn’t correct him, which means she must believe, at least a little bit, that she is his mom.

-----------------------------------------------------

“You live here?” She looks around the cavernous space and he smiles, looking around too. It really is awesome.

“Yeah, when we’re not on the road. It’s an old Men of Letters bunker.”

“Men of Letters?” She scoffs. Dean grins a bit and looks at her. He thinks he likes her. “They’re a myth. An old hunter’s story.”

He tilts his head. He’s just gonna keep blowing her mind today, apparently. “Not so much. New duds look good.” He gestures to her clothes. He’d lent her some extra clothes he’d had in the trunk, and he tries not to fixate on how they weren’t that big on her. He’s not much taller than her, and he knows part of that even is the heeled boots he’s wearing.

“Well, thanks. It’s better than walking around in that nightgown the rest-” Dean’s nodding, about to say something extremely awkward like ‘Yeah, nightgowns are a bitch,’ when he finally looks at what she’s staring at, spattered on the floor of the bunker. “That’s blood.”

“Yeah.” Dean’s heart leaps into his throat, but he goes into autopilot before he can think about freaking out. He takes his gun out from his pants and cocks it, clearing the immediate area. A blurred sigil on the wall puts another bolt of fear through his chest. “Sammy? Cas?” He winces at how high his voice goes.

He takes the Map Table’s gun out from its hiding place and hands it to Mary. She was a hunter too, and he’s not about to leave her unarmed to clear the place. “Take this. Stay here.” Dean takes off immediately. It isn’t until he’s moving on to check the kitchen that he hears the voice. Mary’s clear as a bell, saying,

“Hands, now,”

Dean’s in the room before he can think about it. His heart practically comes undone when he sees that dumb familiar trench coat. He puts his body between Cas and his mom’s gun immediately, hoping she will trust him enough not to shoot through him. “Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! It’s okay, it’s okay. He’s a friend, all right?” He meets Cas’s eyes and sees the utter relief in his eyes, and a surge of warmth fills his chest. “Hey, Cas.”

It’s a lackluster greeting when they both thought they’d never see each other again, and Cas shows it when he steps forward quickly and pulls Dean into a tight hug. “Dean!”

Dean grins and pats his back. “Hey, okay. All right,” He comforts him quietly.

“Dean, you’re alive?” Cas pulls away and looks him over, like he’s afraid Dean might disappear. Dean nods, understanding; he had done the same thing to Mary, after all.

“Yeah.”

“What about the bomb and the Darkness? What happened?”

“I’ll tell you everything. Where is Sam?”

“He’s not here.” Obviously. Dean could smack him, but his face wants to break into a fond smile instead. He represses both urges.

“Are you a hunter?”

“No, I’m an angel.”

“He’s an angel.” Dean says over Cas. They look at each other and then back at Mary.

“Come again?”

“An angel, with a capital A,” Dean clarifies. He feels, ridiculously, a little bit like he’s showing off. Showing Cas off. “You know, wings, harp.”

“No, I don’t have a harp.”

Dean laughs. “This is Castiel. Cas, this is… Mary. Winchester.”

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“It’s been kinda weird, here. You know, with mom being back?” And learning that her baby girl is now a full grown man? “It’s like we don’t know how to act around each other, so we just kinda make this small talk, and act like it’s normal, but it’s- it’s so not normal.” Dean can hear the pleading in his voice.

“What has she said to you?” Cas asks quickly. Dean bites his lip to hide the smile he’s trying to get from hearing Cas get all angry and protective on his behalf. He’s reminded of the time Cas looked him directly in the face and said, ‘Dean Winchester, if anyone is ever transphobic to you, I will smite them immediately and without any remorse.’ And before Dean could make a quip about internalized transphobia, Cas added, ‘Do not make me do that to you.’

“Well, nothing. That’s- that’s the whole point.” It’s the kind of thing most people usually wanna go over, what the fuck gender their kid is? He’s pretty sure no news does not mean good news in this context.

“Okay, what have you said to her?”

“Well, nothing. I’m- I don’t know what to say to her, y’know? It’s like it’s all too much, and I don’t wanna overwhelm her.”

“Dean, your identity is not ‘too much.’” Cas says immediately. Dean sighs. That wasn’t what he meant, even though he has said something similar before. Something when he was lonely and sad and feeling like explaining his dick to a one night stand was too complicated for him to do to even assuage it that way.

“No- I know. It’s not that. It’s… everything.”

Now it’s Cas’s turn to sigh. “Don’t make things unnecessarily complicated, as you humans tend to do. I’ll call you.” He hangs up.

Dean lets the phone fall with his arm limp to his side. “Yeah. Great. That’s helpful.” He says to the empty air. “That’s helpful.” Asshole.

-------------------------------------------------------

They’re in the car, and Dean is driving, and there is too much going on. He’s not sure whether he’s happy that Cas is in the backseat for this conversation or not. “So you’re… my Deanna.”

Dean’s hands tighten on the wheel. He looks at them and ignores the voice in his head that says they are petite. Womanly. “Uh, yeah. I was born Deanna Jane Winchester.” He clears his throat and meets Cas’s eyes in the rearview. He gives him a little nod, and Dean continues. “I’m… It’s called trans.”

Dean risks a look over at Mary, and she’s playing with her ring. “So you… wanted to be a boy.”

Dean clears his throat again. He’s pretty sure he does it every time before he talks, and he’s also pretty sure his voice gets lower every time he talks, too. He swears it’s an automatic reflex.

“Dean’s soul is- that of a human man.” Cas interrupts, saying it like that clarifies things. The corner of Dean’s mouth tilts up a little bit. Cas did tell him that he could see his soul, and also told him that it was, and he quotes ‘A color more similar to that of a men than women.’ Which, yeah, that tracks. He guesses Cas leaves off the ‘more similar’ part to make things simpler for Mary.

“And so you…” Mary trails off, a finger pointing toward his chest aborting its mission when she realizes it might be rude.

Dean raises an eyebrow with amusement. “Cut my tits off? Yeah.” He takes a hand off the wheel to raise his shirt, proudly showing off his top surgery scars. Mary trails a hand along them, feeling the raised skin. “After Sammy went to college. It was a bitch of a few weeks, but it was worth it.”

Mary takes her hand away and nods, brows furrowed like she’s trying to wrap her head around it. Dean grins. The grin freezes awkwardly, the edges tilting down, when Mary opens her mouth again. “So you have a-”

Cas coughs loudly in the back seat. Dean meets his wide eyes with a similar expression, and Mary cuts off the question, catching onto the fact she said something wrong. “Don’t think we really need to go there, do we, mom?”

That was a question for him and whatever lucky son of a bitch (gender neutral) ended up in his bed at the end of the night. “Right.” Mary says quickly. She turns her whole body then, asking, “Is that why you like men?”

Dean only swerves a little, he swears. The car coming the opposite direction doesn’t seem to agree, holding its horn long and hard. Luckily, it gives him a moment to stutter less obviously.

“Sorry, I just meant- since you two are-” Mary gestures between Cas and Dean, and Dean blinks his eyes solidly, trying to convince himself this is really happening.

“No! I mean, we-” Dean doesn’t have the balls (hehe) to look at Cas in the back seat, but he can see the trench coat shifting out of his peripheral. “I’m not-”

“Was John okay with this?”

Dean laughs. It comes out bitter and dark. “Dad didn’t much give a fuck what I did with my body. He’d given up on grandkids about the time he saw how decent I was at hunting, so my long hair wasn’t a personal loss.” He knew I wasn’t gonna live long enough to give him grandkids, not without some self-sacrifice on John’s part.

Mary looks a little shocked at his outburst, and Dean almost feels bad for being so blunt and crass. But then he remembers growing up with John as his male role model, and he tightens his jaw. No, the bluntness and crassness was accurate. “Oh.”

“... Yeah.” Dean bites his lip and risks another glance at his mom.

“So, you’re okay with this?” He waves a hand at himself. Asking if she was okay with him was just too pathetic, even for him. She looks at him uncertainly, a frown he recognizes as his own on her face.

“I don’t think I’m okay with any of this, Dean. But… I guess I’ll adjust.”

#tw: dysphoria #trans dean #destiel #deancas #ftm dean #transmasc dean #fanfic #dean is trans #my writing #mine

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blueaura · 3 years

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Lost and Found Ch. 8

A/N: Hello again! This chapter is a little shorter than the last couple of chapters but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Thank you for the feedback on the last chapter, it means a lot. Also, I’m making a seperate tag list for people who would like to be tagged in all of my supernatural stuff (one shots, dabbles, other series etc.), so let me know if you want to get on that. Also, Also - if any of you have any requests for one-shots or the like, I’d love to do that. Thanks to everyone who’s read and re-blogged it this far. As always, any tips and suggestions are welcome. Feedback would be amazing. Thank you and happy reading!

Summary: Sam and Dean meet a young hunter who is a little rough around the edges and they reluctantly take her under their wing. But she might be a little more connected to them that any of them realise.

Word Count: 1.8k

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

Chapter 8

To Dean it felt like it took forever.

He watched Cas’s hand glow as if he were healing her, not even daring to breathe. Sam stood beside his brother in support. Cas had his eyes closed in concentration. Dean was looking worriedly at Y/N but she didn’t look like she was in any pain. He trusted Cas with his life and knew he would never knowingly hurt Y/N, but worrying came naturally to him and he had to make sure she was safe. There was an instinct there that he was usually used to associating with just his brother.

Cas had only wanted to see her soul but as soon as he put his hand on her, he was bombarded with her memories. Her thoughts, her pain, her experiences – they were so loud. He had never felt so crippled by a human mind before. He was surprised by the intense anger he felt on her behalf. The girl didn’t seem to harbour much anger herself – there simply wasn’t any place for it beneath the fear, uncertainty, loneliness and hurt. He saw her memories like he had once seen Dean’s when he pulled him out from hell. Once he was sucked in, he couldn’t get out until she let him even though he felt like he was somehow violating her privacy. But, if he ever had any doubt that there was a part of Dean Winchester in this girl, the burning determination underneath everything else would have been enough to remove it. Even without seeing her soul, shining as brightly as her father’s.

Y/N was expecting pain even after Cas assured her that there wouldn’t be any. What she was not expecting was the warmth. It felt like she was bundled in the softest blanket and nothing could hurt her as long as she stayed in the cocoon of that warmth. It was bright light and hope and love and like nothing she had ever felt before. She almost didn’t want to let it go but she could feel the sensation trying to pull away from her. She chased it until she couldn’t. She didn’t know how long had passed before she came back to Earth, so to speak.

Cas’s hand slid from her forehead down to her cheek momentarily.

“I’m sorry for the hard life you’ve had Y/N. You are truly an incredible human being and I vow to protect you to the best of my ability from here on. I shall not let any harm befall you.”

The intensity of his words surprised her but she didn’t say anything. Dean, on the other hand, balked at the words.

“Wait, what just happened?” he asked, looking from Cas to Y/N and back again.

“What’s with the vow of protection? Is this some kind of Twilight imprinting bullshit?!” Dean’s voice grew more hysterical with every word, making Y/N muffle a snort.

“Dude, why the hell do you even know what that is?” Sam asked incredulously. Dean ignored him in favour of glaring at his friend.

Cas turned away from Y/N to give Dean his best imitation of Sam’s bitchface.

“No, Dean. I didn’t imprint on your daughter. I can assure you I have no intention of mating with her,” Cas sarcastically dead-panned, which would have normally impressed and even amused Dean but his brain had stopped working at that moment.

Daughter. Daughter.

Fuck.

There was a ringing in his ears. He could hear Sam calling his name, could feel the weight of his hand shaking his shoulder, but everything was muffled – the only thing he could focus on was the fact that he had a fucking daughter.

Of course, he had known it was a possibility – that was the whole damn point of the angelic test, but now… it was real. He was a father. Just like that. In that moment – he fucking hated Sandra.

Sam would have loved to say that Dean reacted maturely and focused on Y/N and didn’t freak out at all, but father or not, he was still Dean Winchester. So, Sam wasn’t all that surprised when instead of making sure his daughter was alright, Dean stormed out in the direction of the shooting range, or so Sam assumed. He knew his brother and he knew that it was how he processed things. Working on his car or shooting stuff was Dean’s way of dealing with the news and Sam was just grateful that he didn’t choose to turn to the bottle instead.

He watched Dean walk off but instead of trying to reason with his brother, he turned towards the other person affected by the news. His niece (Holy shit, he had a niece) was frozen in place, her eyes not really focused on anything. Cas looked at him worriedly and Sam realised that Cas hadn’t meant to drop the news in such a way. He smiled at him reassuringly, and walked to where Y/N was still standing.

Instead of calling out to her, he gently guided her to the library and made her sit down on a chair. She didn’t react at her which didn’t necessarily surprise Sam but worried him nonetheless. Cas brought a glass of water from the kitchen and Sam quickly thanked him before setting it down on the table and kneeling in front of Y/N.

“Kiddo? Hey Y/N, are you alright?” he instinctively asked and winced. Of course, she wasn’t alright. Her entire world had just turned on its head.

“Y/N, you with me?” he tried instead.

She looked at him without really seeing him. He had to repeat the question a couple of times before he even saw a hint of acknowledgement in her eyes. He waited patiently until she finally shakily nodded her head.

Her throat was dry. She reached for the glass of water blindly. Sam quickly picked it up and placed it in her waiting hands, watching as she took small sips.

“Where’s…” she trailed off, sipping at the water again just to have something to do.

“Probably in the shooting range. He’s… processing. But I guess so are you,” he said uncertainly.

“You have a shooting range?” She was clearly avoiding the big elephant in the room, but Sam didn’t take the bait.

“I’ll show you later,” he dismissed the topic change expertly. “How are you holding up?”

“You mean after learning that my mother lied to me my entire life?” she spat out. Sam winced at the tone but ignored the hostility, only squeezing her shoulder in response. She deflated at the lack of a fight. He simply waited.

“I don’t know,” she said finally. “I wasn’t expecting… I know you were all but convinced but I wasn’t. San- my mother always gave me the impression that my father was dead. Until a few minutes ago, I didn’t even have distant relatives that I could call family. Now suddenly, I… I don’t know how to deal with that,” she said, frustration heavily lacing her voice.

Sam noticed the hesitation at her mother’s name and stored that little piece of information for later. His heart went out to her, it truly did.

“Look, I can’t even begin to imagine being in your position right now. Or Dean’s, for that matter. Hell, I’m still reeling from the fact that I have a niece, and I’m not even the one directly affected by this! So, I cant tell you how to feel or what to do. That’s up to you. What I can tell you is that you’re family now, Y/N. That word has way more weightage in this household than it probably does anywhere else. So, whatever you’re going through, you won’t be alone. I’m here, Cas is here and when he eventually gets over his little temper tantrum, Dean will be here too,” Sam smiled wryly.

Y/N chuckled a little even as emotion clogged her throat, shaking her head at Sam’s attempt at levity. She was suddenly pulled into the tightest hug by Sam, but this time she refused to cry. She’d had way too many breakdowns in the past few days and she’d ignore the stinging in her eyes and the burn in her throat if it was the last thing she did.

Instead, she sniffled into Sam’s plaid shirt, realising this was the second time in as many days that she was in this position. She chuckled at that, and instead of pulling away burrowed herself deeper into the comfort of the embrace.

Sam squeezed her tighter and kissed the top of her head. This was his niece. He was a fucking uncle! What did uncles even do? She was probably too old for toys. He also didn’t see much pranks in their future, at least for a little while. He could teach her he supposed. She clearly needed education and didn’t seem particularly thrilled about any form of formal institution. Yes, he would be the brainy uncle, who answered all the questions. He could do that.

Eventually, she pulled away. Seeing the hopeful expression on Sam’s face, she managed a weak smile at him, trying to tell him that she would be alright.

“I think I’m going to get some sleep and… process all of this. Let me know if De-Dean comes back soon,” she stumbled a little, not entirely sure what to call Dean anymore. Was ‘Dean’ inappropriate? It was way too soon for anything remotely in the ‘Dad’ ballpark. She put it away as a problem for later, not wanting to deal with the headache that accompanied thinking about her new family.

“Yea- yeah! No issues, kid. Get some rest. Dean will probably be a couple of hours. Cas already went to him earlier. He’s good at making Dean sort through things. I’ll probably head over there myself in a few,” he said assuredly.

“What’s up with that anyway?” she asked, her earlier curiosity making it harder for her to keep her mouth shut.

“What’s up with what?” Sam sounded confused.

“Cas and Dean?”

Understanding dawned on Sam’s face, immediately replaced with a look of long-suffering exasperation. Y/N giggled at that, making Sam smile subconsciously at the sound.

“If you ever figure it out, let me know,” he sighed and with a last kiss to her head, walked away.

Y/N shook her head and walked up to her room. She once again took stock of all the things that supposedly belonged to her. The mattress was the softest she’d ever slept on. She had her own freaking room. She had food to eat and clothes to wear and a couple of guys who cared more for her than what she thought she was worth.

Maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t so bad.

TAGS: @vicmc624 @carisi-sonny @zizzlekwum @geekqueen5 @mondefantastique @lemondropirwin @hamildork @mrswhozeewhatsis @singingsongbird1318 @strrynigxts @only-for-cee @now-its-time-to-get-funky

If anyone else would like to be tagged, please send me an ask (: Thanks for reading!

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #spn #spn fanfic #dean winchester #Sam Winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #sam winchester x reader #sam x reader #castiel #castiel x reader #dad!dean x daughter!reader #uncle!sam x niece!reader #platonic relationships #Cee tries to write

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amnachil · 4 years

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To the perfection Chapter 2 Part 2

Enjoy :)

Cody Monday March 11

He gulped, absolutely not ready for it. Monday morning were usually rough. But this one was special in every way. Not only they were forced to attend school this week because they had hours to catch up in order to make a trip later this year, but he was going to see Thomas. I don't know what got into me. I don't know why I went up against him during the game. Cody wasn't ready to face Thomas, but he had to. Next to him, Joël finished a video about cats and laughed loudly.

"I can't help but watch it again and again." he said. "This kitty is so cute !"

Thankfully, he was stupid enough to not notice Cody wasn't listening. Because their friend was coming closer. Oh man. Thomas was smiling. His usual bright smile, which could enlighten your whole day. The smile Cody fell for.

"Hi Joël." he said. "Let's go inside, it's freezing."

Wait. "Hi Joël" ? Seriously ? So that was his punishment. Of course, the ginger couldn't ignore him more than he already did.

"I saw the video you sent yesterday." continued Thomas. "The cat is incredibly cute !"

"Ah ! I know right ?!" exclaimed their friend.

It was childish. Stupid. He's just pretending to care to hurt me. I know that. So why was it so painful ? He looked at his buddies while they entered in the highschool. They looked exactly like in these memories. Back when Thomas was talking openly with them. Back when he was the sun in Cody's life. And piece by piece, I can literally feel my heart crumbles. Because he knew those times wouldn't come back ever again.

The day went awfully slowly. Thomas was purposely more talktative with everyone. He laughed to every single joke Joël did. He talked politely to the teachers. He even held the door for the girls in each class. Well, he was literally shining. And everyone wanted to be part of it. Their classmates and their professors all fell for it. Someone said the ginger was back to his old self. Cody resisted to his urge to punch the poor soul. Everything is an act. He just wants to make me suffer, right ? How come Joël wasn't suspecting anything ? This dude had zero braincell or what ? Finally, for their last hour, their science teacher made a comment.

"You're extremely nice today." he pointed out. "Are you hiding something ?"

"Does a man need a reason to be nice ?" smiled Thomas. "Besides, I'm always nice."

"Well, let's say you're extra shiny today." confessed Darren. "Are you in love or something ?"

Cody froze for a second. Nah, that's not possible. The class laughed. Yeah, their professor only made a little joke. But the dark-haired lad noticed his friend's twitch. No way. Is it even possible ? It was highly unlikely. But what if ? The idea was already settling in Cody's mind.

"Dude, I understand shit and you're not helping if you are stargazing."

The teennager turned towards Ilhan. Right, they were working here.

"Sorry." he mumbled. "I got distracted. Anyway, where were we ?"

"I don't know anymore. I'm just lost."

Cody frowned. He looked closely at his friend. He looked so tired, so depressed. Whatever was going on, it wasn't good. He completely let himself go... Ilhan was definitely tubby now. His too-tight vest wasn't fit to hide such a paunch. And several times, Cody had spotted the man in a bloated state. Is it what they call stress-eating ? The nurse would turn completely crazy during the next check-up. I should help him. It would be nice to feel useful to someone. And maybe that way, I can't forget Thomas for a bit. Well, it was just a lie. And to say tomorow is my birthday...

Dan Wednesday March 13 – Thursday March 14

The day hadn't been good. His college's professor had told him his grades were too low. I won't graduate like this. I need to improve my grades. So Dan was studying more despite the fact it was his only week of holidays. When he arrived at the gym this evening, he wasn't in the mood. Sandra offered to do only light exercises, and she let him in peace. He managed to do some stuff, but his mind was elsewhere. Well, until he noticed Thomas's friend coming his way. What is his name again ? I think it's Joël.

"Hey dude." greeted the teenager. "How've you been ?"

"Uh, fine. I'm struggling a bit with those weights."

"You're doing great man."

Seing Joël's biceps, this one could lift them up easily and he was just trying to make Dan feel better. Well, thank for the thought.

"Sooo you live with Thomy right ?" asked the lad.

Dan decided to stop his stupid training because he probably looked ridiculous. He stood up and glanced at his interlocutor. He was slightly taller and broad-shouldered. His hair were dark with blond strand, his eyes brown.

"Yeah." finally answered the college student.

"Okay so here's the deal." smiled Joël. "There are rumors saying our Thomy got a girlfriend but of course, he won't tell me. I'm just dying to know ! Damn, I can't be in the dark so please please please tell me ?"

He made puppy eyes which made Dan smile. This guy is cool.

"Sorry but I havn't heard anything on the subject." he assured. "And I doubt Thomas is seeing anyone right now. He's very busy between working out, helping Ilhan every night and stuff."

Joël made a face.

"Helping Ilhan every night ?" he repeated. "Cody said they stopped a moment ago since they're not really talking at school anymore."

"What ?"

Now Dan was lost too. I'm pretty sure he didn't lie when he told me he was going to Ilhan's place. So he lied to his friend ?

"Ah, that's cool." laughed Joël. "If Thomas is still helping him, I'm sure Ilhan will be rocking again soon !"

The college student nodded. I should just trust Thomy. I'm sure there is a good explanation behind this.

The next day, Dan exhausted himself with studying. This evening, he was so tired he decided to indulge more than usual. He ate his content pretty fast and then more. Thomas wasn't home yet, so he finished all the leftover. And then ordered two oversized pizzas. It wasn't very rational nor healthy, but he needed something to relax. He went though the first one lazily. The added weight forced him to lay down on the couch. The bloat was feeling nice. When he finished, he belched, kinda satisfied. Then he decided to try his luck with the second pizza. It was harder but still, he continued. His belly bulged and he needed to took off his pull over to let it expand. He felt his stomach took the free room. Honestly, Dan didn't know exactly how he managed to finish, but he did. Damn. He burped loudly. He tried to move, but that was painful. He had a tummy ache for sure. It was worth it anyway. He was trying to appease his angry belly when Thomas arrived.

"Oh. Looks like you already ate." he said.

Dan nodded, groggy. His friend sat next to him.

"Are you in pain ?"

"Yeah... Ate too much, too fast."

A soft hand entered in touch with his skin. Made a circle. Oooh. Good. Very good. He let out a moan against his will.

"I... I'll make you feel better." whispered Thomas, short-winded. "Just... Let me do it."

His friend rubbed his belly slowly, calmly. At first, it was timid but it became firmer. It feels so nice. Dan closed his eyes. Now he could digest peacefully. Slowly, he fell asleep.

Thomas Sunday March 17

Gregory wolfed down a burger like if it was nothing. His big mouth was very useful for this kind of thing. As for her, Shirley lowered her head, uneasy. The ginger bite his lips. Why on earth I agreed to come ? Dan arrived with his own order and sat next to him. Oh yeah, I recall now. Because he had done something terribly stupid four days ago. I rubbed his belly. I mean, I rubbed DAN's belly when he was conscious. It had been the happiest moment of his life. And the worst too. Because his crush had moaned Raphaël's name during his sleep. Of course, he was his boyfriend. It's pretty normal he thought about him. It had destroyed Thomas's heart. But it had also gave him hope. Because it means I can rub his belly again. I mean, I can rub DAN's belly again. All he had to do was pretend to be his brother.

"I can't do it." Shirley complained. "I'm not ready yet."

"Sis' you are more than ready." contradicted Dan. "You found a flat to rent, you've a job as a cashier and you're pulling yourself together very well."

"Agreed." added Gregory between two mouthful. "You're more than ready to talk to Sam."

Honestly, Thomas didn't care at all about Shirley, her ex and whatever. But since it was important to Dan, it mattered to him aswell.

"You're great." he assured with his brightest smile. "Go ahead and make peace."

She nodded, reassured by their cheerings. She stood up and went for Sam. The ginger felt Dan's shoulder press against his. It was just a friendly touch, but he got flustered anyway.

"I hope she'll be okay." he mumbled.

"Don't worry man, she's on the right way." Thomas stated. "And Gregory is here to watch her... I guess, because it seems like he can't get his eyes away from his burger."

The joke made them laugh. And the teenager felt genuinely happy.

Fast enough, the craving for more haunted him again. To press shoulders wasn't enough to satisfy his teenager's needs. He called Joël.

"Hi man. Sorry but I can't make it to the gym today."

"Whaaat ? But Cody and I are already there !" groused the other. "Man, not fair !"

Well, if this asshole is here, there is another reason why I can't come. Both his friends were Raphaël's pawns but at least Joël was too silly to be a bother. The leech on the other hand... I just hate him so much right now. He dared stand up against me.

"There's somewhere else I need to be." he said.

"Mmhm alrighty.... Wait Cody asks if you're going to Ilhan's place again ?"

For god's sake. He can't leave me alone, can he ? And how the hell did he know about this ?

"He's not my mom." Thomas replied. "I'm hanging up."

No sooner said than done. He didn't want Cody to stick his nose into his business. Anyway, Thomas went straight to Ilhan's home. He knocked at the door, and his friend's mother opened. She led him upstair, saying how much she was glad he was here. According to her, her son was going through a bad phase, and his help was more than welcome. She hoped he would help him get back in shape. Sure thing. Count on me. He barely waited for her to leave. And then, he jumped on Ilhan's bed, next to his friend. This one had already indulged in the pastries Thomas had sent earlier with a note. He was seemingly overstuffed.

"I did burp... what you asked." he muttered.

"Nice. Now I'll fuck you."

"Wait... Thomas. I just need to know, why are we doing this ? What are we even doing ?"

The ginger sighed, annoyed. Ilhan had so many questions, so many doubts ! They were just having fun !

"I don't understand why you're still so worried about everything." he said with a threatening tone. "Just let me fuck you and we're good, okay ?"

"O... Okay."

To be continued

Not much to say. Our feedees are doing their job. Dan rather willingly while Ilhan is well... not so sure about this.

And Thomas... Thomas doesn’t change. He’s not very nice to the people who annoys him. And that’s a lot of people.

#to the perfection #TP #Cody #Dan #Thomas #stuffing #weight gain #Dan stuffs his face again #Cody is in troubles #with Thomas the star of highschool #Joel doesn't understand a thing right ?#Chapter 2 #Part 2

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mittensmorgul · 6 years

Note

The mixtape thing is hard for me to see as a romantic gesture only- In Stranger Shings, Jonathan Bayers gave a Mixtape to his little brother, In Guardians of the Galaxy, Peter Quill got his Mixtape from his mother-So it seems that can be a family thing too?And we and the show, claim that Castiel is family- I would love it to be pure romantic love thing,but with many mixtapes showing up as a family affair it is hard

Hi there! First of all, my intent behind this reply is one part mild exasperation, one part humorous jibing, and maybe two or three parts coffee (It took a lot of coffee to drown out the part that just wanted to delete this in a fit of less-than-mild exasperation, but I just want to assure you that this reply is in no way intended to be mean-spirited or condescending, and I hope you don’t take it that way).

For my second disclaimer, I’d like to make it known that I have seen neither of these things-- GotG or Stranger Things-- but because I don’t live under a rock, I at least know what they are. So if I say something about them that people who are actually familiar with these things would take issue with, just know that I am not prepared for a meta debate on either GotG or Stranger Things, but that no ill is intended in referencing them here.

(for my third disclaimer, I’d like to again state how sad I am that meta writers need to paste these sorts of disclaimers on everything, but such is the way things go...)

Righto! I think we can get down to business now. :)

There has already been a very well-written defense of the mixtape as romantic as used in GotG and GotG 2, and how it even STRENGTHENS the romantic reading of the mixtape scene in 12.19. But being me, the post somehow didn’t make it into the proper tag on my blog, and despite trying to search for it multiple different ways, I can’t seem to find it anywhere... >.>

(additional disclaimer that I’m in the middle of a Death Migraine, so apologies for any lack of due diligence in linking relevant references... searching for things hurts my brain right now)

The gist of it was that the mixtape contained songs that Peter Quill’s parents listened to together, so the tape’s ORIGINS were without question romantically coded. Despite the fact that the movie opens with Peter’s dying mother giving him the tape (this was what happened, right? I’m not mistaken here?) as a gift of love from mother to son, from what I understand about the sequel, PETER TURNS RIGHT AROUND AND USES THE TAPE TO WOO GAMORA. Restoring the “romantic” associations the tape began with, imbuing the mixtape with a sort of “legacy of love.”

Did I get all that right?

This is EXACTLY what I was referring to in my post yesterday as the show’s history of using Led Zeppelin songs in explicitly romantic situations.

In the OPENING SCENE of 12.01, as Dean’s establishing his identity for a very confused and suddenly-alive-after-33-years Mary, this is what he tells her:

Dean: Listen to me. Your name - your name is Mary Sandra Campbell, you were born December 5, 1954 to Samuel and Deanna Campbell. Your father, he bounced around a lot for work, and you bounced right along with him and you ended up in Lawrence, Kansas.Mary: How do you know all that?Dean: Dad told me. March 23, 1972 you walked out of a movie theater, Slaughterhouse-Five, you loved it. And you bumped into a big marine and knocked him on his ass. You were embarrassed and he laughed it off, said you could make it up to him with a cup of coffee. So you went to, uh, Mulroni's, and you talked and he was cute, and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number you gave it to him even though you knew your dad would be pissed. That was the night that you met-Mary: John Winchester.Dean: August 19, 1975 you were married, in Reno, your idea. Few years later I came along, then Sammy.Mary: Then I burned. How long have I been gone?Dean: Thirty-three years.

SHE GAVE JOHN WINCHESTER HER NUMBER BECAUSE HE KNEW ALL THE WORDS TO EVERY LED ZEPPELIN SONG. IT WAS A FLIRTATION. IT WAS THE FOUNDING STONE IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP.

LED ZEPPELIN LYRICS.

EXPLICITLY ROMANTIC.

Not only that, but we know that Dean has known this story his whole life. As if Mary (who had died long ago when he was a child, just like Peter Quill’s mother) had given him a reason to love these songs, too. For Dean they weren’t just ///romantic/// coded, but a link to that happier and more innocent time from his childhood, where his life was normal and his mom cut the crusts off his PBJ and gave him pie. From a time when Dean thought life could even be normal at all.

So, not solely romantic, but absolutely romanticized. Or idealized, at least. These were memories he clung to like a koala as his life fell to pieces after Mary died. He remembered that old life as only a child could, through rose-tinted soft-focus, reinforced by John’s vague and infrequent recounting of his memories of Mary.

(remember in 3.09, how 9-year-old Sam complained that they NEVER talked about mom? and how upset Dean became when Sam probed him for more information? And even in the pilot episode Sam said something about never being able to get mom back, and Dean threw him against the bridge pillar and told him to NEVER say stuff like that about Mary... I mean, it’s HEAVILY implied that talking about her AT ALL was something that just didn’t happen, but when it did, it was the sort of memory Dean referenced in his speech in 12.01... those were the “important details” he’d memorized... and maybe that entire description of their first meeting hadn’t even been John’s words at all, but things Dean had been carrying in his own mind since he was a child-- something Mary might’ve told him herself before she died, since that bit of Dean’s story is related back to Mary in Mary’s own pov.)

The show has also lampshaded the use of Led Zeppelin as a sexual overture, in 2.02:

Jo: You know, I thought you were gonna toss me some cheap pickup line. Most hunters come through that door think they can get in my pants with some... pizza, a six pack, and side one of Zeppelin IV.

Jo had been expecting Dean to hit on her, and it’s implied all the way up through her appearance as a ghost in 7.04 that she’d WANTED him to hit on her, that she’d had a crush on him or was attracted to him... and the only reason she turned him down in 5.10 was because she didn’t just want the “last night on earth” fling with him... This was 100% a come-on.

And Dean’s two favorite songs? Ramble On (which yes, on the surface is a LotR reference, but the deeper message is the search for a lover), and Traveling Riverside Blues (which is 100% about sex... I mean... It’s just pure lust). Put together, they’re like the peak of Love and Lust. And being Dean’s two top favorite songs? I’d bet both of them are on that mixtape.

So back to the point with the GotG reference. It not only does not invalidate Dean’s gift of the tape to Cas as a romantic gesture, but REINFORCES the romantic nature of the gift.

These songs that united Peter’s parents, which his mom left to him after she died, and eventually he uses to romance someone he’s in love with...

If Peter had turned around and given the mixtape to another relative, or to a friend he had no romantic interest in, then I would’ve given you this example. But that is explicitly NOT what happened. Sorry. When taken in the larger context of the entire story around it, saying the mixtape there was only about a mother’s love for her son is being deliberately obtuse. Context matters, and taking that one link in Peter’s mixtape chain out of the larger interconnected story is cherry picking.

So that leaves us with ONE SINGLE EXAMPLE (which I won’t argue with because I have not seen Stranger Things and therefore have zero context with which to debate what you stated about it) OUT OF THE ENTIRE CANON OF HUMAN STORYTELLING in which a mixtape is used as a platonic or familial gift with no romantic coding whatsoever.

I’m going to go ahead and call the use of the mixtape in Stranger Things THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE. This was the subversion of the standard trope.

I asked Mr. Mittens and kidperson (who HAVE watched Stranger Things) what the context of the mixtape was, just so I could have a general idea. Apparently it was given to a younger brother by an older brother as a sort of “This is important music that you need to know to be cool” sort of gift. Or maybe “music that is important to me.” Apparently the older brother was hospitalized for something at some point? So there was also this generalized feeling of “taking care of my little brother” aspect to it? I’m just spitballing on the like three things I know about ST, so no actual meta value is being ascribed to these statements.

But this is what really bothers me about your question, because this is something that’s been discussed since 12.19 aired, and I would like to put forth this argument:

The VAST MAJORITY of references to the gift of a mixtape in popular culture ARE EXPLICITLY ROMANTICALLY OR SEXUALLY CODED. The OVERWHELMING number of references over DECADES of storytelling simply cannot be invalidated by a SINGLE use of the mixtape in a non-romantic way.

PLUS: CONTEXT MATTERS. You can’t just say, “Dean gave Cas a mixtape, but because one time on one show someone gave a mixtape to his brother, so therefore these situations could be identical, and it could be a gesture of brotherly camaraderie and not specifically romantic.” THAT IS NOT A VALID ARGUMENT WHEN TAKEN IN CONTEXT.

The entire scene in 12.19 was framed, shot, and edited with multiple other romantically coded tropes. The absolute QUIET that settled over the scene (no background music, the only sounds those of their voices, speaking earnestly and emotionally to one another), the fact that we didn’t see Dean GIVE the tape TO CAS, but only Cas attempting to return the tape to Dean because his recent actions HURT DEAN. Dean was ANGRY that Cas had gone missing for a time and had ignored his calls, and had stormed off to his room in a huff. Cas’s response to this was to offer to RETURN the tape to Dean (now explicitly coded as a gift of love, because he worried that Dean may have withdrawn whatever feelings that had inspired the gift in the first place).

The fact that Dean can’t even LOOK at Cas because of his hurt, and yet picks up the tape and hands it back to Cas (in a shot that frames JUST THEIR HANDS PASSING THE TAPE like THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT PLS PAY ATTENTION PLS), and tells him, “It’s a gift. You keep those.”

I can’t believe people need me to spell out all the subtext in that one line, but here it is:

At this moment, the fact that the gift object itself is a mixtape is practically irrelevant, because THAT LINE ITSELF carries about nine miles of romantic subtext. In this context, the mixtape takes on the same narrative weight as Arwen’s necklace in Lord of the Rings. It’s a symbol of her immortality as an elf, AND a symbol for her heart. AND SHE OFFERS IT TO ARAGORN, AND THEN HE TRIES TO GIVE IT BACK BECAUSE HE FEELS HE DOES NOT DESERVE IT, BECAUSE HE’S ABOUT TO LEAVE HER TO GO ON HIS MISSION TO SAVE THE WORLD.

Sound familiar?

This familiarity IS NOT AN ACCIDENT. IT IS A VERY LONG-LIVED ROMANTIC TROPE.

The fact that the Macguffin in this case happens to be a Led Zeppelin mixtape in 12.19 only ADDS to the inherently romantically coded GESTURE of what happened in that whole entire scene, compounded by A DECADE of other romantically coded subtext between Dean and Cas.

*screams into the void and the apologizes to the void and tucks it back under its blanket*

There’s also the fact that we have no idea when, or under what circumstances, Dean gave that tape to Cas in the first place. We can only speculate that it may have happened after the events of 12.12, but honestly it could’ve been any time in the preceding ten years. For argument’s sake, let’s suppose it was a relatively recent gift, considering the circumstances under which Cas attempted to return it-- immediately after being confronted with his unexplained absence and Dean’s anger over it, and immediately PRIOR to his PLANNED BETRAYAL, his theft of the Colt, and his abandonment of Dean yet again... The circumstances under which Cas felt he might not ///deserve/// this specific token of Dean’s feelings for him involved betrayal of those feelings by virtue of his absence and abandonment of Dean (at least, he understood this much of what that tape seemed to represent to Dean).

*another disclaimer: I’ve been writing this for like four hours now, and my Death Migraine has progressed to the point where I need to not look at things for a while. I could keep going here, but I’m failing at basic human things like “being able to sit upright” and “not throwing up every time I open my eyes” so I’m gonna stop typing now*

*no wait, one more thing because I can type with my eyes closed*

Isn’t it amazing that we’ve now evolved to the point where instead of combing through the subtext to find romantically coded things in their interactions, folks are now actively scrambling to find ways to explain away the blatantly in-your-face romantically coded text? I mean... what have we come to here? When the more OBVIOUS and far more defensible read of the scene is the romantic read? And yet still there’s this scramble to suggest it could be non-romantic...

And do you know how these sorts of arguments all sound to me? I’ll let the Simpsons explain it for me:

youtube

#top 13 zepp traxx #the scheherazade of supernatural #apologies that this sort of goes incoherent at points #imma go lie down in a dark room for a while now and pray for death #Anonymous

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girl-next-door-writes · 7 years

Text

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Characters: Gabe x Reader

Summary: Gabriel is many things but what happens when he comes across something he has never experienced before?

Word Count: 1441 words

Prompt: Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Queen

A/N: This is my humble offering to @chaos-and-the-calm67 and her milestone challenge. Thank you so much for giving me this song which I LOVE!

You and Gabriel had been hooking up on occasion for well over six months now and that’s all it was. If either of you had an itch you needed to scratch you helped each other out, no big deal. The arrangement worked really well right up until it didn’t.

It had started out innocent enough. Gabe had been spending more time just hanging out with you recently, something that had not gone unnoticed by your friends, and had joined you and the rest of Team Free Will for a movie night. “Cas, you can’t be serious.” Dean grumbled as the angel held up his choice for the evening.

“It has good reviews Dean. It is my turn to choose and this is my choice.” The innocence of the angel still made you smile and you glared at Sam and Dean, letting them know you would step in and defend Cas on this one. It wasn’t often he got to choose and Two Weeks Notice wasn’t that terrible. Corny, yes, predictable, hell yeah but one chick flick wasn’t going to kill them. So, there you all were, frowning at the screen as Hugh Grant carried Sandra Bullock over his shoulder through a traffic jam. Excusing yourself for a comfort break the boys took advantage of your absence to perform their own commentary.

“Are we seriously supposed to believe these two love each other?” Gabe scoffed, pulling a lollipop out of his pocket.

“I don’t think they have realised it yet but yes, they do little things for each other.” Cas was still frowning and watching the movie intently, trying to understand the interactions.

“And that’s love is it?” The archangel rolled his eyes. He always thought that L.O.V.E. was all about the big bold gestures. He figured that when he decided to give it a go he would be great at it, big and bold were definitely his wheel house.

“For two guys who have been around you seriously don’t understand women.” Dean sighed taking a sip of his beer and pretending not to be enjoying the movie.

“The little things matter.” Sam nodded, a soft smile playing on his lips.

“Like when Gabriel…” Cas began only to be interrupted by Dean spitting his beer out and chocking out,

“Cas!”

“Whoa, what? Like when I what?” Gabe looked at them all suspiciously, unsure where this was heading.

“Nothing. When you nothing.” Dean glared at Castiel who tilted his head and looked confused.

“You just…”

“Sammy.” Dean warned. There was no way he wanted to be getting into all this, he just wanted to enjoy the stupid chick flick.

“Come on, you telling me he hasn’t realised?” Sam defended, gesturing towards Gabriel who was becoming increasingly irritated at being the only one out of the loop.

“She hasn’t so why would he?” Dean reasoned and Sam sighed, knowing his brother was probably right.

“Hasn’t realised what?” Gabe stood up and looked at Dean challengingly. Oh he was gonna make Winchesters life hell if he didn’t spill what he knew. In fact, he might just make it hell for kicks.

“That you’re in love with her.” Cas stated matter-of-factly as he watched the screen. Dean sighed and rolled his eyes and Sam chuckled to himself, shaking his head. Gabriel, however, was frozen.

That was the moment right then, like a subtle shift in the world that meant he was permanently off kilter. He had always laughed, somewhat condescendingly, at the way this ‘love’ made fools of people and now here he was. Could it really be true that he was… no, no that would be ridiculous. You were a convenience. He frowned at that thought, you were so much more than a convenience. You made his day better. Not just the sex either, there had been times when he had dropped by just to watch you sleep after a trying day. You always looked so peaceful and that soothed him. But love? That couldn’t be what he felt.

For three months the beautiful mess of an ethereal being avoided seeing you. Convinced that Cas had been wrong, that Dean and Sam were seeing things that weren’t there. He filled his time with treats of course and you never even crossed his mind. He certainly didn’t think of you when he was in bed with that girl who had eyes a very similar shade to yours only they were missing that light, that spark yours had. You didn’t cross his mind when he had that girl with an ass quite like yours bent over a table. He definitely wasn’t thinking about you when his fingers were tangled in the hair of that girl who had kinda similar hair to yours as she sucked his cock. To be honest he had given up denying he was thinking about you by the time he was screwing some other random girl, who reminded his of you in a million little ways but was just a pale imitation of you, against the wall of some motel room. He missed you. Not just the little noises you made when he did that thing you both liked but he missed your laugh, the way you would look at him, amusement dancing in your eyes. You made him feel invincible and vulnerable at the same time. Even thinking about you made his stomach churn in a way that was familiar and strange all at once. The way you could make him feel so many opposing emotions had his head spinning and he had to admit he kinda liked it. Enough was enough. He needed to

He could do this. Hell, he had done far more challenging things that talk to a girl. It wasn’t like he hadn’t talked to you before, done quite a lot more than talk, this would be a cake walk, but then the course of true love never did run smooth.

Propping up the end of the bar his eyes scanned the room and landed upon the dance floor. Of course you would be there, surrounded by potential suitors no less. Watching your hips gyrating to the beat made his mouth dry and his trousers just a little tighter. You didn’t even know he was there and yet you got him so hot and helpless. He hated that. Hated not being in control. You were driving him crazy and it wasn’t like you even cared. Irrational anger began to bubble deep inside him as he stood on the sidelines, observing your interactions with the men who were nothing, inconsequential sacks of meat. You belonged to him. Gabriel could eviscerate these nonentities with the snap of his fingers, show you just how powerful and dangerous he could be.

His mind seethed, shaping such fantasies that any form of reason was quashed in the heat of their path. He was a being that had existed for millennia and in that time he had seen so much damage done by lust, want, desire, this so-called love. When emotions took over then truth and reason were strangers to each other. The red mist in his mind dissipated just enough for him to realise you were headed his way. Pretending he hadn’t just been glaring in your direction he pulled an interestingly colourful cocktail out of thin air and twirled the purple paper umbrella sticking out the top of the glass. He couldn’t think straight. Definitely shouldn’t be making any grand declarations in this state. Shaking his head he tried to be cool, relax. “Hey stranger.” Just the sound of your voice made him want to sigh but he caught himself.

“Hey sugar. Enjoying yourself?”

Crashing through the door of the motel room, lips locked as your tongues wrestled for dominance of the kiss. Hands all over each other, pulling at clothing. His foot kicked the door shut and you began to fumble with the buttons of his blue shirt when he pulled back, his hands coming to rest on yours preventing you from continuing. Looking up at him questioningly he smiled back softly. There was no way he could do this without letting you know how he really felt and there was no denying that this was the L word. “I just… you… to me, you are all the world.” He shuffled his feet a little awkwardly and opened his mouth to say more only to be interrupted.

“You going all chick flick on me angel?” you raised an eyebrow as you failed to hide a smirk.

“No.” he huffed and you grabbed hold of his shirt and pulled him back towards you.

“I love you too. Now take your clothes off.”

Tag: @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @nea90sweetie@knittingknerdy@feelmyroarrrr @vintagevalentinexx@goody2shoessmut @cojootromuelle@palaiasaurus64@littleblue5mcdork @littlenerdgirl16 @thewhiterabbit42 @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @sumara62 @captainemwinchester

#myfic #something I wrote #Bev's Milestone Challenge #Gabe #Gabe x Reader

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starlightbisexual · 7 years

Note

Hullo!!! Shy anon here, you're one of my favorite blogs so i was wondering if you happen to have any marvel fic recs? I'm running low and it's summer, so any fic would be appreciated (as long as it's not explicit). Any suggestions? ^^

hi love, you're so sweet thank you!!

i have about a million fics to rec so this might be a bit long and im gonna put it under the cut. personal faves are marked with an !!!

(when you say “not explicit” i took that to mean they’re not tagged as explicit on ao3. i cant promise that none of these fics contain sex/other mature themes. it’s probably best to always read the tags on each fic just to make sure!)

ofc this list isn’t exhaustive, just the first ones that popped into my head! if you or anyone else wants some more please come ask, i love discussing fics!

those on mobile: note the read more

slide to answer (mature, 6k)

“What do I do?” Steve appealed into the phone. “I’m freaking out.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. It lasted so long that Steve pulled the receiver away from his ear and frowned at it. Pay phones were old. Maybe this one wasn’t working despite the obvious dial tone when he picked up.

“Ok,” a stranger’s voice said over the phone. “First acknowledge the fact that you dialed the wrong number, but be quick about it because my cab is a few blocks away from my own plans and I’m about to drop some truth bombs on you.”

lonely houses off the road (teen, 17k)

Barnes is now glaring at him for some reason. It’s somewhat terrifying but also, oddly, a little reassuring— because that’s emotion right there, which means there’s still somebody behind those eyes. Somebody who seems to think Sam is being a bit slow on the uptake. “Time parameters exceeded. Mission failed.”

“Wait.” Sam narrows his eyes. “Is this some kind of… report? Debriefing?”

“Mission report,” confirms Barnes, looking pleased. Well, looking slightly less murderous than before.

In which various people deal with things they never signed up for, but at the end of the day no one’s particularly surprised.

i love you like rlb (teen, 3k)

I love you like rlb has become a well-known, accepted and valuable component of American vernacular. The meaning of the letters ‘rlb’ is unknown, but is uniformly considered to be a statement of a great romantic love, commitment and sacrifice.

It was Dernier as first said it. Steve never imagined that something like that could have survived the war and all the years in between.

In which Tony goes insane trying to figure out why that phrase affects the Cap so much, Bucky teases the press, and Steve and Bucky love each other like rlb.

i was found and now i don’t roam these streets (mature, 15k)

They’ve decided to start producing Bucky Bears again, now that he’s all shiny and redeemed and fighting for good on this big Avengers misfits team. “He has a little shiny gray arm,” Bucky says, wiggling the stuffed arm in question, one of the tweaks made in the new model. It takes Steve a second to realize that Bucky’s got a small smile on his face, actually looks a little bit proud around the eyes.

Or, Bucky relearns himself and how to be on a team, the rest of the Avengers try to get answers, and everyone watches too much Criminal Minds.

roll on (mature, 89k)

In 1938, there’s a bar in Brooklyn called Sully’s where people are safe to be themselves. Behind the bar, a girl pours drinks. She’s always got a big smile for Steve and she says queer like it’s a good thing. On a regular basis, she takes his shoulders in her hands and tries to shake sense into him, saying, “When will you do something about that best friend of yours?”

In 2012, Bucky’s gone, but Steve’s not, and the girl’s hands are too old to shake him. She does her best to make him see sense anyway.

Steve had people who loved him before the war, and it turns out a few of them are still around when he finally comes home.

one cloud feels lonely (mature, 72k, !!!)

“I’m going to take a break for a while,” Steve said quietly, not looking at T’Challa, not knowing that this was what he was gonna do until the words were out of his mouth. “I can’t be on a team right now.”

T’Challa nodded as if he understood. “Alright.”

AKAIn which Steve and Bucky both figure out how to be a person again, and it still takes them over 130 years.

barnes & rogers and the goddamn truth (not rated, 18k, !!!)

There are three well-known facts at Shield High:

1. The history teacher Mr. Barnes is a stone-cold terror, and it’s not even because he only has one arm.2. The other history teacher, Mr. Rogers, is a mysterious enigma, and it’s something to do with the body of a Greek God and contradicting stories of his past. (They’re all rumours, anyway.)3. Mr Barnes and Mr Rogers hate each other.

Bucky wouldn’t have it any other way.

asked and answered (teen, 5k)

“You should marry me, Bucky.”

“What?”

“You should marry me.” Steve said again. “Sister Eustace said that marriage is the purest form of love, and I love you more than anybody. So we should get married.”

Steve and Bucky. Five marriage proposals (and one time they didn’t have to ask).

1917 (mature, 15k, !!!)

Born on March 10th, 1985 at the Brooklyn Hospital Center, James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes was named after Sergeant Barnes, Captain America’s childhood best friend, who died when he fell off a train in the Swiss Alps.

In 2008, Peggy Carter donates to the Smithsonian letters Captain Rogers wrote to Sergeant Barnes in 1944—

After he fell.

Some lives are eternally entwined.

to be vunerable is needed most of all (mature, 118k)

Steve is a shy comic book artist and meets his new neighbour, Bucky Barnes.

In which there are awkward longings, meddling best friends, comic conventions, heartache, lemons, video games, dorkiness, dancing and two cute boys.

there should be stars (teen, 45k)

“All memories to tell you the truth aren’t good.But sometimes there were good times.Love was good. I loved your crooked sleepbeside me and never dreamed afraid.

There should be stars for great warslike ours. There ought to be awardsand plenty of champagne for the survivors.”- Sandra Cisneros

Or, it takes them decades.

fever dream (mature, 9k)

“Buck.” Steve says, soft as he can, so he won’t start to cough again. The light from the stove hits his face just right, makes his eyes light up bright, spring sky blue. Bucky’s head aches just looking at him.

1942, in fits and starts.

they say love is a virtue (mature, 22k)

“I have a bet,” Tony announces to the room. He stands up, repeating himself a few times so that everyone is forced to stop the game and look up at him. He looks straight into Bucky’s eyes when he goes, “I bet you fifty dollars that you and Steve can’t spend a whole week pretend married without realizing that you’re both in love with each other.”

the smithsonian guard (gen, 8k)

Bucky makes a friend.

cross this river to the other side (teen, 14k)

Here is the truth about Captain America and the Howling Commandos that every World War II historian must come to accept at one point or another: we will never know everything. We won’t even come close.

So much was lost with the untimely death of Captain America. While the man beneath the uniform sunk to the bottom of the North Atlantic, the myth lived on, only to grow bigger and more unwieldy as the years went by. Now, it is near impossible to tell fact from fiction, to separate out truth from propaganda.

In 1943, the Howling Commandos wrote goodbye letters to be given to their loved ones in the event of their deaths.

In 2014, Sharon Carter finds those letters in a tin can in an abandoned HYDRA base.

captain fantastic and the pineapple king (teen, 30k, !!!)

Shit.She hadn’t noticed him yet. Maybe he could turn and leave without them noticing – Sam would understand. Sam was the most empathetic person he knew. He wouldn’t scold Steve for coming home spice-less to avoid an awkward encounter with an ex. Surely.They drew closer.Fuck.Please don’t notice me, please don’t notice me, please don’t notice me…"Steve?”Fuck.In which Steve is saved from his ex in a grocery store, Bucky Barnes is Way Too Chill about absolutely everything, and Sam has had enough of all of these goddamn pineapples in his fucking house.Or: The five times Steve received a pineapple (and one Piña Colada) and the one time he didn’t

haha, jk (teen, 13k)

(A tale of Not Unrequited Love)

Steve: I love you.Bucky: oh no.(and other fallacies)

Bucky learns to never say never when it comes to the effect his best friend can have.

apes debemus imitari (we should imitate the bees) (gen, 15k)

Steve operates a fruit & veg stand at a farmer’s market. Bucky keeps bees and has started up a honey shop just opposite. They’re failing to get along. Steve gets along a lot better with the anonymous friend he’s been writing letters to. In fact, he’s rapidly falling for him.

it’s no coincidence (teen, 109k)

The kids immediately scream, “Trick-or-Treat” before they see who opens the door.

The strange resident looks between the two kids, then at the adults, and his eyes widen in horror.

“It’s October already?”

Okay, Bucky thinks. This guy is probably high.

don’t ask (mature, 21k, !!!)

Captain America and Bucky Barnes were like brothers. Everyone knew that.

most ardently (teen, 9k)

Baron Grant, nothing more than a small, sickly country gentleman with no fortune and very little to recommend him, has just poured a glass of claret over Duke Barnes, a wealthy lord with the world at his feet.

#answered #stucky #stucky fic rec #steve rogers/bucky barnes #stucky fic #captain america #the winter soldier #mine #fic rec

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blueaura · 4 years

Text

Lost and Found Ch. 2

A/N: Hey guys, just trying my hand out at this fanfic thing. I love reading everyone’s stuff and decided to write something myself. I’m fairly new to Tumblr so any tips or suggestions are highly appreciated. Let me know if y’all like it and would like me to continue. Feedback would be amazing. Thank you and happy reading.

Word Count: 1.6k

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Dean’s first priority after going back to the motel was getting Sam patched up. Y/N went to her own room and got into the shower to get the dingy warehouse stink off of her. The water pressure was abysmal but it got the job done.

She went back to the boys’ room and knocked on the door. Without waiting for a reply, she pushed the door open to see Dean wrapping Sam’s ribs. The younger Winchester clearly thought it was unnecessary if his facial expression was anything to go by, but he let Dean do it anyway. Sam knew better to argue with Dean in his ‘mother-hen’ mode.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine.” Sam could see the guilt in her eyes. If only she had followed orders, Sam wouldn’t have bruised ribs.

“Really, I’m good. I’ve had worse. It’s part of the job. We screw up and we learn. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Now you know better for next time.”

It surprised her that Sam could read her so well after just three days. She remembered their first interaction. She had stopped for a quick bite at a diner when they walked in and sat beside her on the breakfast bar. At first, she had ignored them, going back to studying the case she was in town for. That didn’t last long though, as pieces of their conversation caught her attention quite quickly.

“Do you guys always talk about cases this loudly in the middle of a diner where anyone could easily overhear you?” she had asked them, still looking through her notes, “cause that does not seem like a smart thing to do.”

She had finally looked up and saw them staring at her in disbelief.

“Excuse me?” The shorter one, which she would later learn was Dean, had said.

“You are hunters. Discussing a case as weird as this one out in public. Loudly. I wasn’t even trying to eavesdrop. Like I said – not smart.”

“You’re a hunter? You’re like 12!” Dean had exclaimed. He had obviously been exaggerating. For one, she was 15, not 12; and two, Dean was still under the impression that she was over 17 at least. She couldn’t blame him. She didn’t look like an average 15-year-old and she had never bothered to correct him anyway.

They had gone on to argue over who would work on the case, and when neither party backed down, Sam had suggested they just all work together. The rest had been history.

She was jerked out of her thoughts when she registered what Sam had said.

“Wait, next time?”

Not happening. She liked the Winchesters and yes, they were not bad as far as hunting partners went. But there was a reason she hunted alone. She didn’t like people in her space. She knew that as soon as they figured out that she was a 15-year-old orphan, they would ship her off somewhere, ‘for her own good’. It had happened way too many times before for her to trust anyone, no matter how nice they seemed. She had been put into foster care three times on the behest of ‘concerned adults’ before. The homes were so bad that she preferred the streets and ran away the first chance she got. She had been on her own since she was 11 and had practically raised herself even before that. She didn’t need anyone to tell her what was best for her.

“Sorry boys, I prefer to hunt alone. Don’t get your hopes up for another team-up anytime soon,” she said before Sam could open his mouth again.

Dean’s jaw ticked but she could see him forcing the tension out, in hopes of reasoning with her. He knew that telling her what to do wouldn’t work, he had noticed that she had problems with authority.

“Look, we have this friend. She’s a sheriff and she’s got two other girls living with her who are either hunters or aware of the life. If you want –”

Dean knew that they had messed up. Y/N’s face grew hard as she listened to Sam talk about Jody and the girls. Yes, they had called her and asked her if she would be willing to take in another stray but Jody had warned them that Y/N didn’t sound like someone who wanted a normal life. Claire had wanted to hunt but she had also wanted a family. Alex had wanted to get out of the life. Both of them had wanted to be there.

He could see that they were losing her. He didn’t understand why he felt so strongly about helping her, but he panicked at the thought of her hunting alone out there. So, he blurted out the first thing that came to his mind – “You could hunt with us!”

Sam paused mid-sentence, looking at his brother incredulously. That was not what they had agreed on. While his brother clearly felt more strongly about helping her, Sam himself had grown quite fond of Y/N and wanted her to be safe. But he also knew that they had too much on their plate to add her into the mix. She’s just be in more danger anyway. They were in the middle of dealing with the darkness – there was no way bringing Y/N into their life would end well. After the way they lost Charlie, Dean should have been the first one to realize that.

Y/N’s face dropped the hard stare it was featuring only to be replaced by a look of surprise. Hunting with the Winchesters was something aspiring hunters dreamed off. They were the big leagues, where the real action was. She’d heard rumors about their dalliances with angels and prophets and monsters from purgatory. So, of course she was surprised when they offered her a chance to play with the big boys. But she knew she couldn’t take them up on it. Specially since Sam didn’t seem too enthusiastic about it either. Which stung – but she understood.

“As tempting as that sounds, I’m good. You guys probably have a lot to deal with anyway if Sam’s face is any indication. I don’t want to be a problem. I’ll get out of your hair and maybe we can team up again if you happen to be on the same case as me.” Y/N didn’t want to get close to people. They just ended up abandoning you sooner or later.

Sam backtracked guiltily, assuring her that they wanted her with them. He didn’t want her in danger but he didn’t want her to feel unwanted either. There was just something about her that made both brothers want to protect her.

“You won’t be,” Dean said firmly. “You’re clearly a good hunter. You figured out the case before us and you were right. You could use some tactical training and work on your combat a little bit. From where I’m standing, you don’t have anyone to teach you either. We can help –”

“You’re telling me you have time to take in a rookie hunter in the middle of dealing with your apocalypse of the year?” she scoffed, raising an eyebrow at Dean.

Sam remained silent, a spectator to the back and forth between his brother and Y/N. He wanted her to come with them. He just didn’t want her to end up dead like every other person they cared about.

Dean switched tactics when enticing her with training didn’t work.

“What about living arrangements? We have a pretty sweet set up in Kansas. It’s like a bat cave. You’d like it there.”

“I manage just fine in motels,” she fibbed just a little bit. Even with fake IDs and fake credit cards, she sometimes had a hard time convincing motels to give her a room. She’d spent more nights in the cold streets than she cared to admit, but it was all just a part of being a hunter and she accepted that. Even the rooms she did get were dingy at best, but she didn’t want their charity.

“Look kid, I know how it works. You can’t lie to me.” She looked away at that.

“What about family? You have anyone we can at-least get you back to?” Dean had just about admitted defeat at this point. Even Sam looked dejected and he hadn’t even exactly wanted her with them in the first place.

At his statement, she jerked, her whole body flinching at the mention of family. The reaction didn’t go unnoticed by either brother.

“Y/N? You alright?” Sam asked when she didn’t say anything for a minute.

“No. No family,” she ignored Sam. “I never knew my father, all my mother said about him was that he was a hunter too. I always assumed he died on the job.”

She was fidgeting with her rings. She did that when she was nervous or uncomfortable, they’d learned.

“What about your mother?” Sam dared to ask softly.

“Dead.” Y/N’s voice was hard which surprised Sam. In the time they’d spent together, she had never seemed cold, but she did right now.

“Killed by a werewolf when I was 11,” she continued in that same emotionless voice, “I’ve been on my own ever since.”

She didn’t ever share anything about her life with other hunters and the fact that she told them this perplexed her, but she couldn’t ignore Sam’s puppy dog eyes.

“I’m sorry kiddo,” Sam said, empathy practically oozing from his voice, “We know what it’s like losing a mother young. It doesn’t get easier.”

“What was her name?” Sam said after a brief pause.

She was silent for a long time. She hadn’t said her name out loud in almost 5 years.

“Sandra,” She finally said softly, the tiniest hint of emotion in her voice. “Sandra L/N.”

Dean froze.

He knew that name.

Chapter 3

TAGS: @vicmc624 @buttercookiemachoman @link--in--bio

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#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #dean x reader #sam x reader #castiel #castiel x reader #platonic relationships #Cee tries to write

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