#SUCH WS VIBES WITH THE MASK | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

findafight · 11 months

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i do want catws opinions!! so much!!! mcu cap am was one of my major interests for quite some time, so i am Very interested! tbh don't much care for the rest of the mcu all that much, like ive seen quite a few of the movies but absolutely far from all of them. and like tbh i cared the most about catfa & catws and then steve and his relationship with people, idk i just love his character so much, I've done some sort of analysis inside my head of his character, but it's been A While so i don't remember any of it in words, just vibes lol. also idk how i feel about cacw, it just sorta didn't feel like His story, it felt more like avengers 2.5 or smth.

also related to steve & peggy, i feel like the thing that makes their story stay so strong Is the missed opportunity, the longing for something that can never be. it's this thing that was on the brink of possibility, and where the potential was so big and tangible, and they both felt it, and then all of a sudden the possibility is gone, it's lost, forever. idk like i think steve going back in time to dance with peggy would be sweet, But, it just doesn't move me as much unless peggy also knows that the moment is a promise fullfilled and a dream that can never be, it's one more aching moment together and then it's goodbye. idk like i thought the scene in endgame when they danced was absolutely beautiful, but to me it is a dream, and to me it feels kinda disrespectful to all of them(steve peggy & bucky) to have steve go backwards, that's not him, maybe when he first woke up after the ice, if presented with the possibility he wouldn't be able to resist, but otherwise his character is LITERALLY about getting back up again!! and then also peggy had a life?? with someone else!! and she was happy with her life! he literally knows this, he talked to her when she was old! why would he disregard that?? and then why would he live the rest of his life knowing bucky is the winter soldier and then NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT????????? idk it's just like, when SO MUCH of steves story is so closely intertwined with bucky it just doesn't make any sense to leave him??

also while i am a romantic stucky believer, truly more than that i am a soulmates stucky believer! so the stobin tws au really really hit me in the feels yk.

Okay so. What makes CAWS so good, and one of the best mcu films, is that it uses superheroes not as a genre, but as a vehicle for a genre. Winter Soldier is a spy thriller. Arguably TFA also does this by being a war film? But WS embraces it. It's so clearly a spy thriller with a superhero setting! More superhero movies should have co-genre I think. It can be watched as a stand alone, with good solid introductions to characters, to the point that it's bascially the only mcu movie I've watched with my mother that she hasn't asked "who's that?" and why they were doing stuff. Basically every other one, besides the first in their series require prior knowledge of characters for most of the impact of them.

WS doesn't? We see Steve and Natasha have a friendly relationship, that steve's a supersoldier and also takes risks (no parachute), that they're some kind of soldiers, that there's some secret operations going on. We get this! Then we meet Sam and we see that Steve is also incredibly lonely, we see him at the Howling Commandos exhibit, and sure maybe it's hamfisted by focusing on bucky or whatever but that sets it up! we now who steve is, why he's lonely, and some of his values.

and even without TFA, as soon as the mask comes off, we know this is someone steve knows. When he insists on saving Bucky, he uses the line "even when I had nothing, I had Bucky" having watched tfa before just makes it hit harder.

I'm going to be real with you I've watched civil war once and was like "this is kinda stupid? very stupid" and then stopped really paying attention to most marvel movies.

oh yes so true about Steve and Peggy. It's compelling because the could have beens. If that had happened, but then steve went back to present, I would not be mad. It wouldn't be weirdly stealing someone else's life? Especially combined with the Agent Carter Tv series, Peggy has closure for Steve's death. Though it's still an ache, and she mourns and misses him, she's still living her life. She isn't caught up on him as a romantic interests. She has multiple (they should have given us more cartinelli tbh we were robbed in s2) in the series! She had a good, long, and happy life. Steve just dropping in sometime in the 40s(?) with the expectation of pursuing a romantic relationship with her would likely be a shock, and unwanted. They both would have changed from where they left off, both having mourned each other and their relationship. It wouldn't have worked! But to have him drop in. tell her "hey. I can't stay for long. I'm sorry it has to be this way. But I owe you a dance, and it's been killing me breaking a promise to my best girl." That!!! would have!! been! so sweet! A final goodbye for both of them. The final closure and fulfilled promise from oh so long ago.

Steve had spent at least ten years out of the ice before endgame. I just. How could they slide him back to what he would have done directly after being thawed? Like I don't think even lost sadman beginning of ws steve would have stayed back. He's changed and he can't go back to what things were. he keeps getting up, even when he shouldn't! That's what's endearing about Steve, his stubbornness, and his willingness to put himself on the line to protect people. That's why he was the first and only (official) American supersoldier. He carries on, even when it's almost unbearable for him to do so.

It's so... It felt cheap and insulting to him and Peggy and Bucky. Because you're correct!! It means Steve went back to nineteen fourty-whatever and chose not to do anything about the 80+ years of horrible things that happened in the world. Especially chose not to do anything when he knew exactly where Bucky, who he had previously jumped behind enemy lines with nothing but a wing a prayer and a shield to save, who he had defied governments for, who he's nearly died for multiple times, was??? how in the WORLD did the same screenwriters and directors who made one of the best marvel movies that highlighted and used their friendship in such a compelling way also write/direct that for them? how? valuing romance over any other kind of relationship I guess?

yeah I think what's compelling about stucky is that there is so much love there, that they've known each other for their whole lives, and will continue to be (or should be) a vast part of each other's worlds no matter what that relationship looks like. They're soulmates, whatever that looks like for them. and if it's romance then that romance is built upon the deep devoted friendship they have. That's everything about them. Everything is built on a sickly and scrappy kid who couldn't leave well enough alone and got pushed into the dirt by bullies he stood up to over, and over, and over again, and some charming schmuck who looked at him and thought "I'm gonna help him keep get back up". to the point where they broke over half a century of brain washing because of it.

#findaanswers #anon do you remember the glory days of like. 2012-2014 avengers fandom. esp 2014 post winter soldier #my god. it was simpler times. didn't know what we had until we lost it.#mcu #caws #captain america #stucky #cap #tbh it's kinda similar to how I see blr? like the romance is interesting and heartbreaking because they are friends first #and that anything other than that must be built with that massively devoted friendship in mind #but obviously yeah stobin fits ws because they're unhinged and decidedly abnormal about each other. they're soulmates #Robin WOULD go behind enemy lines for steve. steve would break decades of brainwashing and torture by seeing robin's face #anonasaurus #finda's rambles #meta #steggy

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bookgeekgrrl · 11 months

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My media this week (9-15 Jul 2023)

ˢᵗᶦˡˡ ᵃᵇˢᵒˡᵘᵗᵉˡʸ ᵉⁿᶜʰᵃⁿᵗᵉᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒᵇˢᵉˢˢᵉᵈ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵗʰᶦˢ ˢʰᵒʷ ⁻ ˡᵉᵍᶦᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ʰᶦᵍʰˡᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵐʸ ʷᵉᵉᵏ

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

🥰 The Man Behind the Curtain (seitentaisei) - 71K, SuperBat getting together fic - "A character study of Bruce Wayne, the Batman, as told by Clark Kent as he sorts through the stories, the acting, and the news to find the real man behind the masks. What exactly can Clark do if he maybe finds himself falling in love along the way?"

😍 Casual Encounters (MoreThanSlightly (cadignan)) - 66K, modern no-powers shrinkyclinks - always forget just how incredible this fic is! the pining and angst are truly exquisite while we know they're being two dumbasses standing in a pine forest. plus the descriptions of steve's painting are incredible.

😊 Dear Enemy (GingerTodgers) - 69K, drarry - breezy & lighthearted epistolary fic, some voices maybe a trifle OOC but entertaining

💖💖 +147K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

king (nerd) steve harrington (sky_of_starflowers) - Stranger Things: steddie, 3K - steve accidentally reveals his nerdy side and eddie *really* likes it

Dustin Henderson and the Lovebirds (pukner) - Stranger Things: steddie, 9K - "five times Dustin Henderson was subjected to Eddie Munson being gross and sappy and in love with Steve Harrington, and one time Steve didn't even have to be there" - short but absolutely hilarious with excellent podfic (I read the fic and then listened to the podfic the next day, so great both times!)

“Never So Young As That”: 20 Years of the Boy with a Bat (greatunironic) - Stranger Things: steddie, 6K - lovely new vingette in this universe

Patterns of Intention (drunktuesdays) - TW: sterek, 17K - canon-divergent post s3?, stiles and derek decide to take lessons from deaton and then feelings [technically a reread but it's been at least 5 years]

serpentine serenade (thiccbuckybarnes) - MCU: stucky, 3K - antastic & filthy pwp with naga!steve and modern (but still former WS) bucky [reread]

Beyond the Yellow Book Road (crinklefries) - MCU: shrunkyclunks, 30K - wonderful and tender shrunkyclunks where steve discovers 1 thing from his past that's still around -- a beloved bookstore now run by bucky [reread]

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

D20: A Crown of Candy - "Keep Sharp" (s5, e3)

D20: Adventuring Party - s1, e1

D20: Adventuring Party - s1, e2

D20: Adventuring Party - s1, e3

D20: Dungeons and Drag Queens - "The Time Has Come" (s18, e3)

D20: Adventuring Party - "The Dice Tell The Story" (s13, e3)

D20: A Crown of Candy - "The Grand Tournament" (s5, e4)

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

Hit Parade Plus - The Bridge: So Excited and Breaking Out

Rivals: Music's Greatest Feuds - Suspicious Minds: Elvis Presley vs. Jerry Lee Lewis

50 Years of Hip-Hop - Hip-Hop's Origins

⭐ 50 Years of Hip-Hop - Scratching and the Art of DJing

50 MPH - 4 MPH / Paramount Hits the Brakes

The Soundtrack Show - Great Melodies Tell Great Stories

50 Years of Hip-Hop - 1975: "Let's Take It to the Stage" by Funkadelic

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Gunnar Schonbeck Exhibit

Rachel Maddow Presents: Déjà News - Episode 4: “It’s a Very Short Path”

The Sporkful - 2 Chefs And A Lie: Name That Mustard Edition

50 MPH - 5 MPH / New Life at a New Fox

50 Years of Hip-Hop - 1977: Grand Wizzard Theodore and the Invention of Scratching

50 Years of Hip-Hop - 1979: "Rapper's Delight" by Sugarhill Gang

50 Years of Hip-Hop - 1980: "The Breaks" by Kurtis Blow

Into It - Everything You’ve Ever Wanted To Know About Sex Onscreen

⭐ Shedunnit - Editing Agatha Christie

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - A Friendly Town With An Ax To Grind

Stuff The British Stole - The Unfinished Prince

Switched on Pop - Speak Now (about Taylor's versions)

Vibe Check - Life Has Been Lifing Lately

ICYMI Plus - Has Black Twitter Found A New Home?

⭐ Ologies with Alie Ward - Curiology (EMOJI) Part 2 with Various Emoji Experts

Simply Reflecting - You Mean I Have To Advocate For Myself?

Decoder Ring Plus - The Great Parmesan Cheese Debate

Our Opinions Are Correct - The State of the Galaxy

⭐ The Atlas Obscura Podcast - The Complaint Tablet of Ea-Nasir

99% Invisible #544 - Chick Tracts

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Man’s Best (Stiff) Friends

⭐ 50 Years of Hip-Hop - 1983: The Wu-Tang Clan and Asian Influences in Hip-Hop

⭐ 50 Years of Hip-Hop - 1985: "I Can't Live Without My Radio" by LL Cool J

What Next: TBD Plus - Will UPS Workers Join "Hot Strike Summer?"

Re: Dracula - Bonus 5: Producing The Wright Way

Into It - What Happens When All of Hollywood’s on Strike?

Dear Prudence Plus - My Friends Got Me a Terrible Birthday Gift. Help!

Strong Songs - "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears For Fears

Off Menu - Ep 196: Toheeb Jimoh

ICYMI Plus - Did Fancams Determine This Year’s Emmy Nominations?

⭐ Hot and Bothered - Live from Pemberley: Fire Island (with Joel Kim Booster)

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

Under The Covers Vol. 1 [Matthew Sweet & Susanna Hoffs] {2006}

Under The Covers Vol. 2 [Matthew Sweet & Susanna Hoffs] {2009}

Under The Covers Vol. 3 [Matthew Sweet & Susanna Hoffs] {2013}

AC/DC Radio • 2000s

Electronic Radio • 1970s

The Pointer Sisters Radio • Popular

The Age of Pleasure [Janelle Monáe] {2023}

The English Beat Radio • Familiar

"I Love A Rainy Night" [Eddie Rabbitt] Radio • Popular

Classic Sunny Afternoon

Classic Easy Rock

Lord of The Lost Radio • Familiar

#sunday reading recap #bookgeekgrrl's reading habits #bookgeekgrrl's soundtracks #fanfic ftw #fully fallen into the d20 rabbit hole #dungeons and drag queens #dimension 20 #even if you are so-so on actual play shows you should watch dungeons and drag queens #great entry into the game‚ incredible performances and storytelling‚ fucking hilarious‚ absolute chaos #hot and bothered podcast #the atlas obscura podcast #ologies with alie ward podcast #hit parade plus podcast #shedunnit podcast #50 years of hip-hop podcast #vibe check podcast #99% invisible podcast #50 mph podcast #rachel maddow presents: déjà news podcast #the sporkful podcast #switched on pop podcast #decoder ring plus podcast #strong songs podcast #off menu podcast #rivals: music's greatest feuds podcast #into it podcast #the soundtrack show podcast #stuff the british stole podcast #fan artists are a *gift*

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decaffeinatedgalaxyprince · 11 months

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ground rules: default safeword is 'safeword' or 'pause' or if i need to communicate something but don't feel the need to stop the scene entirely, i'll use parentheses to (talk like this) sometimes

(updated oct 2023) i'm a switch, slight sub lean, and i love to be gently dominated. i am 30+, central US time zone, gender neutral or androgynous or masc gendered terms preferred, or ask.

anons, asks, reblogs, and replies are all good! i love interaction, i love the exhibitionism aspect of this. i don't like dms, and the msg system doesn't seem to like me regardless. my comfort comes first, and i try to communicate about my comfort in good faith. please introduce yourself & share your limits too, esp if you like titles and pet names.

top tier fantasies: being denied permission to pee, especially if it's until i beg/admit that i'm going to have an accident if i don't get permission. being told what to drink. being told to hold it all 'or else'. being told to leak a little. having to ask permission to cross my legs or hold my crotch. being told if i can't hold it/obey whatever holding rule, i'll be punished: i love funishment oh my god. i love being threatened with no toilet breaks or with lots more drinks and nowhere to relieve myself. praise! praise + humiliation!

great: bondage. sexual omo. sharing fantasies. someone describing accidents or their own relief to make my desperation more urgent. talking about how full i must be and how much i'd love to pee. multiple doms giving me attention. multiple subs holding with me, competing for attention. sensory play. pressing or massaging my full bladder. mild intox.

good: being told what to wear. teasing about waterfalls, water sounds, etc. fantasies about consensual public stuff. golden showers. light s&m. sounding. humiliation. holding contests. peeing somewhere besides a toilet. holding a long time. rapid desp. making me admit/explain what i want in detail.

ok: 'you only want to pee, you don't need to.' some ws. measuring capacity (it's a lot. and therefore kind of a pain to measure)

ask first: 'you don't need to pee, you're not desperate, you just think you are' gaslight type teasing. unrealistic hold goals. holding indefinitely without a goal. short term no touch. pleasure denial / joi. piss drinking. overstim.

no: diap. actual oppression or abuse dressed as kink, including under/age inc/est & non/con. orgasm denial. most hard s&m.

i'm a fat transmasc with a fat trans dick and a sopping wet cunt. my ass is cute too (and very fuckable). gender neutral, masc, or androgynous language prefered. you can switch it up, i'll let you know if i like/dislike something or you can ask. i love talking to people, even if you don't want to talk about sex or bdsm explicitly. i live in an apartment so i can't really do jumping jacks at 3am.

i have a wand vibe, several toys and plugs, a stand to pee funnel, and some bondage supplies that you should also feel free to ask me about

other kinks, rough tier list of things that i do like:

S: omorashi, bondage, begging, voice, praise, wholesome, humiliation, DP, clothed sex

A: d/s, roleplay, anal, oral, frottage, dry humping, sounding, wax play, temperature play, sensory play, boots, masks, exhibitionism, leather, terato, science/lab roleplay

B: ws, uniforms, object insertion, body worship, lingerie, dacryphilia, light intox, jeans

C: petplay, feet, s&m

now go forth and tell me to hold my pee 🥰

#omorashi #full bladder kink #nb omo

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izacore · 11 months

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Hi, I'm glad you had a nice show and that you could see Harry up close. Just like to ask if you felt that Harry was like doing the show in autopilot, because that's what it feels like by watching tour videos since at least the begning of the residencies. I must say that I haven't attended any show in person, I've only whatched videos of it, so I would like to know from someone who actually attended what it felt like.

I'm sure the shows are always great, Harry is a really good performer, but it really feels like he just can't wait for tour to be over with.

Hi! So since it's been 2 days already and I more or less calmed down after the show, haha, I'm gonna give you my honest opinion about it and a whole rundown of it, I think so bear with me -

I just want to preface it with saying that the show was genuinely amazing, I still can't fully get over it and it left me with a great feeling, one that I felt after Louis' show last year in Łódź. I admit I considered selling my ticket and I wasn't even that excited about going but then I magically managed to upgrade to Jonny's Place, and as I said, I think that it's how it was supposed to be and that I needed to see him so close.

Anyway, when the show started and he appeared in front of me, I kind of freaked out and felt so weird. Do I think he was off at first? Well... Kinda. But what I mean more by that is that I could somehow see the performer/acting mask slip on his face, you know? Like the moves seemed so studied and calculated, idk how to explain it ahsjd and it creeped me out a lotttt agshsj. That, however, changed, because the vibes were superb and the crowd was just so hyped, and we had so many projects that worked out that I could see Harry feeding off of that energy. I truly think that had the crowd been different it'd be like you said just going through the motions (Polish hospitality is unmatched tho 😌). I was scared that the show would feel like just doing a chore, but fortunately that was not the case. For the most part at least. In some moments it did feel like he was waiting for the song to end, he's definitely completely done with ws (god same), as at one point he turned the mic towards us and just went back to sway ahsjdj and of course he looked gorgeous, but I could see the tiredness on his face so I'm glad the break is hopefully coming soon.

This was definitely my favourite time out of the 3 I saw him, and keep in mind that during my shows last year I had completely different feelings towards him, so it's surprising for me too abdjdj I also want to add that even tho I liked the show in Krakow last year, you felt like something was off (and it was the soul-sucking demon waiting for him in Berlin the next day lol) so that's just another example of how stunts influence the quality of the shows and Harry’s mindset, I guess. I'm glad that I could get a homeland show like the one I had on Sunday as the last hurrah. Did I treat it as a love you, goodbye? Yeah. Will it end up being so? Time will tell.

#ask #anonymous

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fandomfluffandfuck · 2 years

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More reason for crushing @jonathanrivera04 on tiktok

#tiktok #personal #thoughts #SUCH WS VIBES WITH THE MASK #I Cannn't #Also-#not to be TMI but my brain is instantly like... mmm... cute. make him kneel like that

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depressedhatakekakashi · 2 years

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I've been stuck in stucky hell for a bit and i wondered what if Gai and Kakashi cosplayed as Captain America and Winter Soldier outfits respectively? XD Gai would look amazing in anything and WS's outfits get's points for having a mask already- (idk about Gai wearing an american flag themed outfit tho XD maybe a different design and color but the outfit itself still sorta looks the same lol)

Or it could be an au but i don't really think it would work XD im not creative enough to think of the other character's roles- the most similar au you have is the sort of Amnesia plus side of manipulation AU you have where Onoki picked up an Amnesiac Kakashi and lied to him about being from their village and not konoha-

I have been told by someone that the amnesia kakashi au gave off strong winter soldier vibes, which i kinda of think rocks.

I’ve never been a stucky shipper myself (i am a steve/sam shipper XD) but i think Kakashi would love the bucky costume a lot. And honestly sort of think Gai would look better in the Falcon outfit, but he could also pull of cap’s uniform since it’s sort of like his jumpsuit lol. I think since it is cap if he’s cosplaying (like a modern au where they’re cosplayers. That has been suggested and this could be one of their costumes they plan out together or do by accident and laugh about when they realize) he would be fine with the american flag. Plus with his physique he would rock it

That being said, i’m a hawkeye fan and i think Kakashi would make an A plus Hawkeye XD

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logicalstansadvice · 3 years

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Why don’t we mind these? Is it the tiny fitted leather shorts?? 😜 Also getting WS vibes from those masked ones…

#logical stans advice #sebastian stan #logicalstansadvice #opinion blog #pam and tommy

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dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram · 4 years

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Hi ! I was wondering if you had any thoughts on Bitch Media’s take on the WS mv? I’m sorry, I’d link the article but I’m not sure how to do it in an ask 😩 the title is ‘In “Watermelon Sugar,” Harry Styles Centers Women’s Euphoria’ x

Anon 2: Hi ! I was wondering if you had any thoughts on Bitch Media’s take on the WS mv? I’m sorry, I’d link the article but I’m not sure how to do it in an ask 😩 the title is ‘In “Watermelon Sugar,” Harry Styles Centers Women’s Euphoria’ x

*************

My first thought was ‘oh dear’ and then my second was ‘try and be generous - you too wrote about how the art that brought you joy was actually feminism in your 20s (although not for money)’.

There’s a lot of nonsense in that analysis - the way she makes up a potential criticism of the video ‘impenetrable mask of innocence’ and answers it with what the models said about consent. As if creating a good behind the scenes vibe, eliminates all problems in the work of art. And by using nonsense jargon like the potential problem ‘soft boy aestehtics’ - she can ignore such basic things as ‘the women are in swimwear and Harry is fully clothed’ and ‘women’s pleasure is focused around Harry and the camera - they don’t even look at each other’.

It’s infuriating to me that she quotes an analysis of music videos that says: “Compared to male artists, female artists were more sexually objectified, held to stricter appearance standards, and more likely to demonstrate sexually alluring behavior.” And suggests that Watermelon Sugar is the alternative. When the women in Watermelon Sugarvideo are more sexually objectified, held to stricted appearance standards and more likely to demonstrate sexually alluring behaviour than Harry. She makes a fundamental category error when she suggests that because women are experiencing sexual pleasure they are not being objectified and hypersexualised (particularly when compared to the man in the same video). (And I’m not even going to respond to what she says about Kiwi, because it makes no sense and just made my eyes roll).

But for all I think it’s a badly argued piece, it’s noteable that this author is not alone. There’s a lot of evidence that the video does speak to some women. While I might side-eye some of this commentary (and mutter under my breath again about the Rita Ora song ‘Girls’), I think it’s also interesting to think why the video might have got this response. While I think the existing meaning people give to Harry is part of the answer, I don’t think that’s the only thing going on.

And I actually frustrating thing about that article, is that she doesn’t try and answer the question of what it is about the video she’s responding to. In fact she explicitly waves away that question - satisfied with saying: ‘ There’s something intriguing about Styles singing about sex while wearing a crochet tank top and pink-painted nails and something encouraging about Styles, given his influence, presenting the idea that women’s pleasure isn’t secondary during sex.’ But I’m going to try and answer that question - what is the something?

************

The first minute of the video does really emphasise wome’s sexual pleasure, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that both of the specific details she gives are from that section of the video. Two things about this - the author of the post suggests that the models aren’t performinng for the camera. I strongly disagree - a lot of this has quite strong female pleasure for the male gaze vibes. But notably - they’re not performing for Harry - he’s not even in the frame.

Instead he’s by himself - eating watermelon. Now obviously eating watermelon is a metaphor, but this first set up I think sets up expectations in some important ways. Firstly Harry is being his usually charming, hammy self, there’s an element of fun to it all. Watching the video a few times I’ve come to think the moment where he spins the watermelon as quite important, it makes sure that the whole thing isn’t too literal - and giving women viewers an opportunity to choose how much they identify with the watermelon. So this first segment represents women’s pleasure, has a sense of joy, and also sets up space between Harry and women’s pleasure. I think that space is crucial, because it allows a lot of space for viewers with different experience to engage with the video.

When praising the video, she really does focus on the begining. She even says that Harry is not the focal point, when he obviously is - even in the begining the editing links the women’s pleasure and her desire - and when a man is literally surrounded by women (and clothed while they’re in swimwear) he very definitely is the focal point. She then says the women are performing for themselves and for each other. And obviously, my objection (besides the one I’ve already mentioned about how they don’t look at each other) is that this whole analysis ignores the camera and how central what the camera is doing to understanding music videos. But that’s not the point of this analysis - the point of this analysis is ‘what is it that people are responding to?’

The women’s pleasure may be for the camera, but I can see why she’s arguing that it’s not for Harry’s gaze. It’s really notable that Harry only looks at the women he’s with to make eye contact with them. And I think for might be quite freeing for some people. To see women have sexual pleasure around a man, and not have that claiming gaze.

Ultimately what I think this all suggests - is how starved women are for representations of sexual pleasure and joy. It totally makes sense that for a lot of women what is in the Watermelon Sugar video is more important than what is not. Women’s sexual pleasure, with some joy and space around it - is a really rare thing. And the fact that Harry gives that both within the music video, and to watchers of the video, is again really significant, because it’s so rare.

I do think that there is a really deep denial among Larry fandom about how central being a fantasy to women who are attracted to men is to Harry’s pop stardom. It’s really core to what he’s doing and even more important to his success.

#And obviously there were people #including women who are attracted to men #who were alienated by the video #but I think it's really interesting to think about what people might be responding to #even in osmething that annoys me personally #Anonymous

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ssho25 · 5 years

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Goodbyes are Bittersweet

Also available on ao3, but not linking cause I don’t know if tumblr is still being a dink about external links. This is for team karaage on Livejournal for their contest they’re holding. ship: misawa

...

It was 5:15am, but the interior of the airport it would’ve been hard to realize. How it was so packed and rustling with energy, multiple lineups everywhere and people running for the gates to make sure they didn’t miss their flight. The busy vibe of his surroundings made Kazuya and his companion look like outliers. And Kazuya hated that.

The air between them was awkward, the silence so terribly loud. Kazuya wanted to run away, but also wanted to break the tension. He cursed Chris-senpai and his natural way of handling these things. His kind demeanour was much better suited for this, and Kazuya finally realized just how much he took Chris-senpai for granted. If he were here now, Chris-senpai would definitely know what to do…

But he wasn’t, and Kazuya was at a loss for words. He turned to the person beside him, still unsure of what to say. Said person’s eyes were downcast, possibly on the verge of tears. Was he mad or sad? Kazuya couldn’t tell. But whichever it was, it made Kazuya uncomfortable. But before he could even say something, a woman’s voice came onto the airport intercom.

“Attention please. Flight WS 438, direct flight to New York City, will be boarding shortly at Gate B11. Passengers, please make your way to the boarding gate now. Again, that’s flight WS 438, direct flight to New York City at Gate 11. Thank you.” Click.

Too late. Kazuya was too late. “I have to go,” he said after a long pause. No response. “They just called for my flight.” His companion shook their head. “Sawamura,” Kazuya said firmly.

“No,” Sawamura said.

“What do you mean no?” Kazuya questioned.

“Because that means goodbye,” Sawamura answered. Kazuya could’ve sworn it sounded like Sawamura’s voice was cracking, but he really hoped he was wrong. Sawamura finally looked up at Kazuya, confirming his suspicions that Sawamura was definitely close to crying. “Do you really have to go?” Sawamura asked in a small voice, barely above a whisper.

Kazuya hated the effect Sawamura had on him. Because it made it incredibly difficult to steel his nerves when all he wanted was to hold Sawamura and give in. Sawamura looked so fragile, just like when he was going through the yips and Kazuya didn’t know what to say. Only this time was a lot worse because Kazuya was the cause and he still didn’t know what to say.

Kazuya finally settled on saying, “I can’t play in the major leagues unless I’m actually there.”

“But you won’t be coming back,” Sawamura argued.

“It’s not like I’ll be gone forever.”

“But you’ll be gone long enough.”

“It’s just for a few years until my contract runs out,” Kazuya reasoned.

Sawamura rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. As if you aren’t a perfect enough player that you won't be signed on again.”

“You think I’m perfect?” Kazuya teased.

Sawamura shoved him and turned away. “Why are you like this?” He raised his feet onto the seat and rested his elbows on his knees, hiding his face into his arms.

“Come on, Sawamura. Don’t be like this,” Kazuya said. “Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have tried to joke just then.” He shook Sawamura’s shoulder, but to no avail. “Come on. Talk to me? Please?”

“You don’t want to catch for me anymore?”

Kazuya froze at that. Of all the things to come out of Sawamura’s mouth, that was the last thing Kazuya thought he would hear.

“Is that the real reason why you don’t want me to go?” Kazuya asked. Sawamura didn’t respond, but Kazuya did see Sawamura’s grip on his arm get tighter.

Kazuya rested his forehead on Sawamura’s shoulder. “There’s no one in the world who I’d rather catch for. But if I’m going to take you even higher, I need to get stronger. So, I’m not letting this opportunity go to waste.”

Kazuya could feel Sawamura raise his head and Kazuya raised his own to see Sawamura’s face. Sawamura’s eyes were a mixture of disbelief and hopefulness as he asked, “Really?”

“Really.” Sawamura’s face broke into a smile, the first one Kazuya had seen all day. It was small, yet somehow still made Sawamura shine brightly in Kazuya’s eyes. Kazuya couldn’t help but smile back.

Just then, feedback came from the airport speakers and Kazuya tilted his head up to listen. “Attention please. Flight WS 438, direct flight to New York City, is now boarding. Any passengers not currently at the gate are asked to please make their way now. Again, that’s flight WS 438, direct flight to New York City at Gate 11. Thank you.” Click.

Kazuya turned his head back to Sawamura, who had his head tipped up to listen as well. Sawamura turned to look at Kazuya and it was then Sawamura realized how close their faces were, turning away out of embarrassment. His ears were tinged just the slightest shade of pink, and Kazuya had to stop himself from kissing them. Come to think of it, his face felt a little warm. Was he blushing like Sawamura? God, he hoped not.

“Guess I better go before I hold up the flight,” Kazuya said. He stood up from his seat, picked up his bag, and extended a hand towards Sawamura. Sawamura took his hand and together they made their way to the gate for Kazuya’s flight. As they walked, Kazuya noticed that Sawamura had become quiet again. It made a sense of dread grow within him the closer they got to the gate.

Just in front of the gate, Sawamura stopped walking causing Kazuya to feel a yank on his arm. He turned around to see Sawamura looking at their hands, which made Kazuya aware of how they had never let go and just walked across the airport holding hands. But it also made him realize that he didn’t really want to let go of Sawamura’s hand. Damn this adorable brat and his ability to so easily crush Kazuya’s resolve.

Kazuya walked back to Sawamura, still not letting go of his hand. “Something wrong?” he asked, gently squeezing Sawamura’s hand.

Sawamura shook his head and squeezed right back. “It’s nothing. It’s just…goodbyes are hard.”

“…Is that all you had to say?” Kazuya pressed.

Sawamura kept fidgeting, so Kazuya started to rub comforting circles onto the back of Sawamura’s hand with his thumb. To let Sawamura know that he was listening and everything was okay. Eventually, albeit reluctantly, Sawamura let go of Kazuya’s hand to reach into his jacket pocket. He pulled out a small envelope and held it out to Kazuya.

Kazuya just stared, his eyes moving back and forth between Sawamura and the envelope. “What’s this?” he asked.

“I had a feeling I wouldn’t be able to tell you what I wanted to say, so I wrote it down in a letter,” Sawamura explained.

Kazuya blinked a few times before heaving a long sigh and reached into his back pocket. “Here,” he said, extending a similar sized envelope to Sawamura.

Sawamura’s eyes widened. “You wrote one too?”

“I didn’t think I’d be able to say what I wanted either,” Kazuya said, rubbing at the back of his head.

“Are you getting sentimental on me? Whoa, that’s a first.”

Kazuya pulled the letter back. “I don’t have to give it to you, you know?”

“No! I’m sorry. I want it,” Sawamura hastily said.

Kazuya smirked and once again held out the envelope to Sawamura. They exchanged letters and Kazuya couldn’t help but think it was cute how Sawamura couldn’t take his eyes off of his.

“Okay. For real this time. I got to go,” Kazuya said. He waved goodbye and began to walk towards the gate when Sawamura tackled him into a hug from behind. It was enough to startle Kazuya, but he regained his balance before they fell. “Wha—Sawamura, what are you—”

“I’ll be cheering for you,” Sawamura interrupted. And just as quickly as he’d latched on, he let go of Kazuya.

Kazuya turned around to see Sawamura standing tall and proud. “Thanks, but why do you look so confident?” Kazuya chuckled. “It’s not like you’re the one going.”

“No, but I am happy for you,” Sawamura replied. “I know you’ll be the greatest catcher they’ve ever seen.”

“Do you even know where to look to keep track?”

Sawamura shrugged. “I’ll figure it out.” He held his fist out to Kazuya, a wide smile on his face. “Show those Americans just what you’re made of.”

Kazuya reciprocated the gesture and they bumped fists. “That’s what I was planning to do.”

And with that, Kazuya slung his bag over his shoulder and waved goodbye for the last time. He stepped onto the plane and walked down the aisle to his seat. Thankfully it was a window seat, so the next 14 hours hopefully wouldn’t be so terrible.

As the plane took off Kazuya tried to relax, but instead found himself tensing up. It’s not like he didn’t know, but maybe his brain finally caught up with the rest of his body. He was moving to America. This was it; it was happening. He was going to become a New York Yankee and play as a catcher in major league baseball. He’d have to contact Chris-senpai later for some help and advice.

Kazuya closed his eyes to help calm his nerves and racing heart, and almost instantly an image of Sawamura came to his mind. Kazuya smiled at the memory and was glad that his last image of Sawamura was of him smiling. Kazuya knew he was going to miss that smile, way more than he’d ever let on. It was a little scary how important Sawamura was to him having only known him for a few short years, but it also felt kind of amazing.

Thinking about Sawamura reminded Kazuya that he still hadn’t read the letter. He opened the envelope and slowly pulled out the page inside. He was confused there were only a few words, though that was quickly masked by his shock once he actually read them. He stared at the page in disbelief; but eventually, his face contorted into a bittersweet smile. He gave a small, sad chuckle as he hid his face into his hand.

It was more appropriate to call the message a note rather than a letter, because there was only one sentence written on it. Just three simple words:

Wait for me.

Kazuya shook his head as he read the note again. And again, and again, and again. What was Sawamura thinking when he wrote this? That idiot was just so damn reckless! And why did he always know exactly what to say to make Kazuya feel better? Thinking about it made Kazuya’s chest ache, so he turned to the window in hopes of easing the feeling.

His hopes were in vain as he realized that dawn had arrived. The first peak of the sunlight that coloured the sky soft shades of pink and gold. It was beautiful, it was bright. And it reminded Kazuya of him.

“I promise,” Kazuya whispered to no one in particular, as the Japan skyline grew further and further away.

...

Sawamura stared up at the sky, watching as Miyuki’s plane flew away. At least, he thought it was Miyuki’s plane. He couldn’t really tell since his tears were blurring his vision. Said tears had already made little tracks running down his face, falling onto the note he was holding.

“You’re so unfair, Miyuki-senpai,” Sawamura whispered to himself as his trembling hands gripped onto the page tighter.

I’ll be waiting.

That was all the note said. But it was all it needed.

Sawamura wiped away his tears and looked up at the sky with a newfound smile. The golden amber of the sunrise made it feel like Miyuki was watching over him, making Sawamura smile even wider.

I’ll make it. I swear that I’ll make it to the major leagues.

“I promise.”

#team karaage #misawa #miyusawa #daiya no ace #ace of diamond #dna #fluff #angst #bittersweet ending #mutual pining #future fic #miyuki going to america #don't mind me #my writing

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elizabethrobertajones · 6 years

Text

13x11 watching notes

I take back at least 5 of the recent snide comments about Sam's jacket. D:

... aaarghhh being non-US is a pain. For having to rely on downloads, anyway. Pretty much just that :P

well it's nearly 5 but I have a download which started with a bunch of static over Donna recap I don't need, and then in to a vampire recap...

I love that it shows us Dean being a vampire, and the time he was turned, just because it really ought to be more of a thing, even as a lighthearted "I got turned into a vampire once but I'm fine" like idk in 12x16 trying to reassure Claire or something :P Well, no, but you know what I mean. Typical Dean!girl complaint that they don't spend enough time harping on all the various traumatic things he's been through, even if some of them are 1 episode MotW things which don't earn mytharc "remember this?" nods 7 seasons later.

That was a very short recap, scratchy bit I skipped aside.

Well this is a horrifying open :D Nice serial killer basement you got there. The same playing music while doing something horrific thing as Athena in Davy's last episode, but she was just being an undertaker doing her job, and this is clearly the baddie of the week at work, with his serial killer wall and leaving blood splatters on all his dirty horrifying equipment.

Still, you gotta have music while you work.

I can't prove anything withthis level of CBA but the truck stop looks like the one Sam got snatched from in 2x21, just because it's small and single story and all. It's probably been a bunch of other things knowing this show, like, idk, 4x01 and 10x03 and no one's ever added it all up :P

Other thoughts: it's "manny's" but the Y is out turning it into "MANN 'S" which means once again I'm just gonna say toxic masculinity may be the bad guy and it's not exactly subtle :P

If this is Donna's niece I love her already because of her bumper stickers - anti-guns and "think globally act locally"... the anti-gun sentiment is especially amusing because of the jokes about Donna's arsenal... There's a social responsibility to actually advocate AGAINST guns, but the entire monster hunter subculture is indistinguishable from weirdoes in the woods with a stockpile of weapons, as Victor pointed out for us back in season freakin 2. As local law enforcement it's more likely Donna would have access to and comfort with weapons and an ideal scenario is that people know about monsters in general and are equipped to fight them, that is, the law enforcement like Jody and Donna and other hunter-cops who actually can turn it into a part of their regular job, with the emotional responsibility less about crazy revenge missions because no one else will do it... But you know, that and an anti-gun sentiment completely undermine the show's entire set up, which is why this show has a bizarre second face of being equally favourite of republicans and democrats, because the take-it-into-your-own-hands and collect guns for legitimate self-defence scenarios super appeals to them.

IRL there are no monsters except the ones we make, is all I'll say >.>

But in the context of the show, and especially as she's gonna get kidnapped, the fact this world has different rules aka legitimate danger to personal safety from monsters, means the show's social conscience is always going to be skewed and conflicted, and the fact she's against guns is potentially not going to look good given her status as an innocent civilian who has no idea of the irony of her stance being undermined by the existence of monsters and her aunt's legitimate giant gun and flamethrower collection being a lifesaving boon >.>

Oh, gross, close ups on eating, making it look really horrific, with red tomato soup (blood) and slicing into a steak with a squelch (self-explanatory).

This is gonna be an arty, violent, gross episode, isn't it? :P Mental note to try and catch the director. Because with this voice over about psalms or something there's definitely a sort of ~mood~ being set.

Christ, the population of this diner is basically the cast of The Adventure Zone's latest thing (which is playing some cryptids in the woods Supernatural D&D knock off literally called "Monster of the Week" and I'm gonna keep recommending it :P) - anyways if you've seen the fanart I've been reblogging there's literally a character people are headcanoning to look almost exactly like this person with the curly hair. Minus the bunny rabbit.

I like the Aliens Are Watching Us guy as well. There was a conspiracy guy in 12x15 (also Davy) so I guess he's not done with this concept of people enjoying the wacky stories without realising they're a shade off, Ronald Resnik style. (Perez is possibly competing to be the new Edlund, if Yockey is taking after Robbie in tone... aka gently petting existing characters on the head while introducing amazing one offs)

Anyways definitely feeling the vibe of Would Not Go In This Place Unless Truly Desperate they want us to get :P

Okay the cashier is super creepy up close, taking too much delight in his power over her ability to leave and his leisure to decide if her ID is valid or not and mocking her name.

(Pointing out that "Hanscum" is old English is asking us to go look it up and ponder how it relates, right?)

Oh boy and there's the request for her to smile that makes him a Grade A Creep whether he's the monster or not.

So many creepy trucks and vans, the "Jesus Saves" van looking anything but salvation, and probably ANOTHER fake out bad guy with the window washer, just here to scare her... Holding up the window washer thingy like an axe murderer.... Whether he is affiliated with the murderer or not, we get a lingering shot on him and a red STOP beside his head

Aaand someone slashed her tyre while she was there....

Oh no, caltrops. It's a trap :(

AAAAH scary masked guy!

not the same mask as in the promo pictures, just a bag over his head and goggles. This time referecing over to 13x05 and the plague doctor masks - the same huge dead eyed look they have without any of the style :P Theeemes for the season though.

Oh no, we start the episode on Sam trying to have a lie in... Already awake before his alarm then grumpily staying in bed another two and a half hours. #relatable

is he okay?

I mean I know in general he is Not Okay but I guess this is going to take some unpicking :P

...

OH NO he resisted PANCAKES.

Dean is up and about and enjoying being home with comforts around him, and Sam...

Is still in bed at 10. I may cry.

Oh thank god Donna is calling him to get him to move.

He's resisted food which means everyone narrowing their eyes at him not touching his lizard in 13x10 gets a cookie for pointing out his issues and how he handles them re: food. I know lethargy and not wanting to get out of bed are huge signs of depression but we rarely see that side of Sam manifest, and mostly just see him casually not eating or having much interest in food offered to him so I think it may be one of the first times the story is actually set up to genuinely call attention to him having a depression lie-in and refusing to come out and get pancakes that Dean is making to celebrate having a kitchen again.

Anyway, now we get Donna angst. Hearing her cry is the absolute worst.

It's such a sharp shock, tbh, to go from Wayward Sisters where she was shown off as the fun comic relief, and have her in the same coat and all suddenly speaking in such a tiny voice, and sitting helplessly in her great big D-TRAIN truck which was like the cavalry arriving and betraying a character that pretty much never DOESN'T want to make a fun entrance and lighten the mood...

Oh Donna. :(

(This is especially painful having watched all the WS episodes up to this point in the last few months)

"BREAKDOWN" appears over Donna pulled over to the side of the road, having her quiet breakdown over this, in an episode about serial killers engineering a breakdown on the side of the road, after we saw Sam having a silent breakdown this morning

Lovely.

Someone turned the angst dial all the way back up to 11 after the break it was taking.

The Impala rolls respectfully and quietly up to Donna.

She looks small :(

I'd guess she's apologising for calling them because it's pretty much The Next Day or thereabouts give or take driving time. Like, she'd be assuming they need their "Just back from a parallel universe" downtime.

Also because if we add any extra time instead of assuming it's been back to back since, like, 12x19, then the tension about Cas evaporates and they leave him for weeks.

So let's say they saw Donna like, 2 days ago max.

Oh no and she feels the guilt of inspiring her to go off on her adventure, because she had fun and talked about it. This is not how fault works, D-Train :( You did nothing wrong. It's the serial killer who took her, no one else.

Sam tells her to just focus on the case rather than think about it which is A+ coping methods and how you end up like how Sam was this morning

Ew, Doug is here

Oh no Dean is leaving Sam and Donna together. Dean, no, you're the chirpy pancake-making one today - you have to prop 'em up :P

Oh boy, this is the real FBI isn't it? They were in the promo...

"First off, I'm not your son." Dean straightening up and trying to fake-authority figure bluster past the confidence of real authority.

Doug diving in to rescue him may be the only way out he has?

"Company man. You should have told me." "Didn't get a chance."

I think Dean doesn't know the codes to pass as FBI with whatever they'd immediately say to identify themselves with casual ease - like in 12x06 where at the hunter party he doesn't know not to say wendigo? There's just some stuff he probably can't know without, like, literally being the FBI and having their specific swagger and way of talking.

e.g. I don't think Dean would say "Company man" without sounding like he got it from TV

Oh dear, he doesn't have the field office - yeah he just diiiives around that one.

Not here on official business, the victim is my cousin, I'm just here to get some answers.

Makes Donna on a close family level to them - or at least that she's another branch of the same family officially like what Doug might think watching this exchange, knowing Dean is not Donna's brother/husband/whatever else on the closest level would make them share a niece.

... Obviously also a lovely message about how Donna's business is family business for them

"You and Donna are related!?"

A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO?

How long was Dean chilling and making pancakes and not calling Cas??? Asmodeus has HAD to have had an accidental "is Dean trying to sext Cas?" confusion over the texts he's been getting in this time period.

... the fact that Cas is back next episode and for all intents and purposes the promo pics and premise would make me think it's Buckleming but it's actually Yockey and BL have 13x13 is like the one thing keeping me going :P

I hope I have that the right way around... Literally panic-checking my 13x12 tag before I continue, just for Cas's sake

"Amanda Tapping directed the episode written by Steve Yockey" Mmmmmmmm

Okay, soul soothed, continuing to watch Dean blustering through pretending Wayward Sisters was a family reunion, which is also adorable that Donna used an emergency family reunion as the excuse to go.

Well at least the FBI already seem to have done most of the work with having a map with red string, names and other victims. This parallels directly to the serial killer's collection, the red string mirroring the blood splatters that guy was leaving on it.

Pretty much gonna assume Mr FBI is the serial killer, or else as much of a problem as him.

Donna looks so tiny in this room full of men.

"Troopers got an anonymous tip" aka there's something fishy about it being called in - if Mr FBI is the killer, it makes his job more effective than waiting around for someone to find the car so he can get his rocks off on chasing himself around in circles :P

Bleeech Doug putting a hand on Donna's back to reassure her.

If you hadn't gathered I'm super not a fan of Doug being back because I think it's ridiculous to inflict another Doug on Donna, and especially when you're doing a dark episode actually doing emotional stuff with her for once, it's dragging out a joke that was from her first episode when we didn't know anything else about her. Defining her by her Dougs

Oh yeah her niece is called Wendy - I think that name was made up for Peter Pan? Or else boosted its popularity through the stratosphere to the point that you can make up a fake fact that the name was invented in Peter Pan. Either way, Wendy Darling associations - growing up, but doing the gap year before college is essentially putting off becoming an adult aka having a Peter Pan year...

If Mr FBI is the serial killer, calling himself "the Butterfly" is the most inconspicuous way to go about it, than "yeah I named him myself he's The Badass Slaughter Man" :P

It makes sense, as well, the way he migrates for the winter and back.

The pause before describing what happens to the victims and Donna saying "go on", not wanting to be talked down to or having her feelings saved just because she's personally invested/female and prone to hysterics/both

He's been chasing him for TWELVE YEARS without catching him

Aka this is the easiest thing ever: just get paid to suck at doing your job to find yourself :P

If he turns out not to be the killer this was at least a hilarious diversion imagining this

Oooh they've re-used the yellow panels for the motel screen which have a serious pedigree of being the yellow panels in the motel - but almost always in crosses or inverted crosses in the empty spaces between them. The new pattern doesn't really have any negative space image I can see.

Dean knows trucker lingo.

I assume this is something you pick up if you literally grow up routinely visiting truck stops and being exposed to truckers as the other wandering workers you'd find on the road most often as a hunter.

There's plenty of headcanons out there about Dean and truckers and picking things up as well.

He calls Wendy "Alice in Wonderland" which might be trucker lingo but also overlaps with the whole Wendy Darling then when talking about Victorian kids literature

Sam says it's stupid to use the trucker radio and then starts trying to argue down the case because he wants to go home and not-sleep some more. (ARGH it being a couple of weeks means Sam has spent a couple of weeks not sleeping)

He has a point about being fugitives and wanting to stay off the radar, but I kinda think he's just finding reasons and yelling about them because he's irritable (depressed, angry, no sleep) and wants to stop even though he couldn't say no to Donna to start with, now they're here it's time to start looking for exit ramps.

Dean says "Dad used it all the time" re: the radio so we're also invoking his ghost with some point to make on top of everything else :P

"So what do you want to do? Call up Donna and say 'sorry about your niece, these things happen! Later!' and head back to the bunker to mope some more?"

OH NO I mean of course Dean has noticed but holy crap he's actually calling it out immediately.

(Reminds me of season 1 when they had so little else going on they were constantly side-eyeing each other's nightmares and grumpiness levels and commenting on it - Dean especially while trying to work out what was wrong with Sam before he came out with the visions thing.)

Anyways we have it established in the same episode that Dean calls it out that Sam is moping around the Bunker, which honestly should not impress me as much as it does, except that they have had a very passive-aggressive last... 11 years :P

Dean thinks it's weird that Sam got up at 10 because he's Mr Rise and Freakin' Shine, and tbh there were people last year bitching about Davy's characterisation of these guys, but he has a very very direct way of exposing them and picking which bits to show up to catch them at their worst angles and I LOVE IT from a meta perspective, but perhaps it comes off weird to people who aren't primed to think of the characters in certain ways. Especially that they may act out of their normal patterns. In 12x15 Dean started the episode disgustingly dirty and not caring about the car or their home environment, which is obviously out of character. Sam "sleeping in" is out of character but this time we see it unfold and at least immediately have a clue that it's because something is wrong and have it called out far more obviously than in 12x15 where it was left for us to interpret, and some people wildly missed the mark by assuming it was just bad characterisation, instead of identifying past characterisation and playing with it as an exposure of something new

Also... Dean made pancakes because he knew Sam was upset. My heart.

I mean Sam didn't go for them, but again, 13x05, Sam trying to make Dean feel better, 13x11, Dean trying to make Sam feel better.

Uhoh. I am scared to see what Dean lists... "I know you're in a dark place. We lost Jack, Mom is... I think about 'em too. All the time."

He doesn't know Caaaas is lost tooooooo

my heart.

ALSO it's dramatic irony again, as it was at the beginning of the season - Dean not knowing about Cas's current state, in which we are wildly more equipped to tell him how he should be feeling...

I mean look at bisexualdemondean's inbox over Christmas with all the jokey needling from people reminding him to check on Cas or coughing into their sleeves about seeing what Asmodeus is up to, and obviously demon!Dean casually being like pfft whatever and paying it no heed because the very in character RP is savvy to this plot that Dean has no clue and seems to think he has no reason to worry, even if he hasn't seen Cas in a while. The show is making the same reaction as the anons who want him to look and the show Dean is obviously completely in the dark, minus the wink wink fourth wall break from the blogger behind the demon!Dean blog that they know full well what the anons are implying because they've seen the show...

why am I using this as an example? Because the show's been incredible with the dramatic irony this season and as a way of creating an emotive response from us it can not be overlooked as an element of the season, but also has a knife edge from causing a BUNCH of wank from people who don't get it that this is something Dean doesn't know, that the pain of watching him not knowing all this stuff is basically permanently setting up SOMETHING at his expense this season and constantly using what he doesn't know about what's happening to Cas as the lever to boot.

And idk I find it totally fascinating, and awesome, and really clever, but when the show is super clever the fandom as a mass entity seems to struggle, for whatever reasons.

Non-judgementally, it's like that MIB meme about panicky mobs of people aka fandoms, just as a mass entity. If you're reading this I assume you've been reading the other posts I made per episode where I've talked about this literally every time it comes up so as individuals you're probably not part of this :P

Oh heck I should not have pressed play. "You can't let it eat you up. Look when I was broken up you were there for me. Well I'm here for you now."

I love SalmonDean in the exact right quantities and this is the sort of thing that makes my stomach hurt with affection for them

Dean gives Sam the same message of putting your head down and focussing on the work.

Repress repress repress!!!!!!!

I think the radio is going to put an end to this - yeah

lol Dean is midnight rider

sounds like a woman on the other end? the static makes it hard to tell but the dudes all laugh off Dean's request like it's a hook up request for Wendy or just don't care, then this woman radios in with info

score one vs toxic masculinity

"it's a date"

Dean says he'll go check it out and tells Sam to hang back, I think to enforce his obligation to Donna while also giving him a chance to rest until needed, which is a nice arrangement.

Sam does the "Look obviously I'm here for Donna" and doesn't have a "but" - though it's left hanging that he's struggling. Whatever else is going on, he is saying he doesn't intend to bail, despite his earlier attempt to argue to go home

aaaaand back to the serial killer basement.

More masks, and Wendy with her eyes covered too

Wendy screaming and getting screamed back at, and mocked silently with the serial killer miming tears at her - not using his voice, definitely falling into this persona of the monster with a disregard for her feelings... the "Boo hoo" attitude again takes me back to toxic masculinity as the bad guy

And he tells her to smile (again if it's the UFO creep from the Truck Stop although honestly he looked too small to be this guy) - if it's not him it's once again just men being creeps.

"Sorry I'm late," Sam says, showing up after reluctantly dragging himself into work

my heart is breaking for this guy

Donna has been handed credit card history for Wendy so they'll probably be at the creepy truck stop soon - if that's not where Dean arranged to go already (I didn't catch where they arranged to meet)

Huh, Mr FBI called in Bible Guy who I assume had the Jesus Saves van, of all the potential suspects in that truck stop.

He's suuuuper creepy but I assume at this point, probably not the bad guy, if he's already here 15 minutes in.

Although he did have Wendy's bloody shirt so who knows... Doesn't look good.

He's called Pastor Diamond something or other which goes with how there's a diamond motel neeext episode... or 13x13. Yeah. Anyways, theeemes

He's already called out for having a history of lewd behaviour, then we add being creepy enough to keep a bloody shirt even if he isn't the killer.

(I assume the killer wouldn't be dumb enough to be caught with it)

OMG Dean's dressed as a trucker.

Which is to say, his normal plaid with a puffy vest over it.

And yaaaay it is mowhawk lady from the diner aka one of the main characters from TAZ Amnesty I mean what no she isn't a magician with a bunny. I'm so confused :P

Oh no, she didn't stop to pick Wendy up, and she made excuses to herself for why she couldn't stop and help out another woman in distress, and now feels the Guilt. Everyone feels very bad about what happened to Wendy but it's not helping her >.>

Donna has to stop to gather herself when they pull out Wendy's picture and start talking about how great she is.

Pfft and then Diamond whatever fuckhead is super racist about a guy with a Mexican-sounding name. Well he may not be the serial killer to be brought in so early but this is very much a story of how all the humans can be monsters if they try hard enough.

(I love the "Humans are the real monsters" stories and this one is great because who can you trust in that scenario, and it focuses on all sorts of things, like the trucker's responsibility to help and being a bad Samaritan etc is a lesser evil and she's definitely one of the nicer-seeming people, because she said Manny's gives her the creeps as well so she's on our side about it, but at the same time she's still mixed in with the social responsibility for allowing evil to happen... this probably isn't social commentary about current America at allllll)

Dean enlists Doug's help which is... great... and Doug shows up trying to be all shady in a hooded coat. Donna's adapting to the grittiness well... Doug sticks out like a sore thumb

I like that Dean's already staking out Manny's anyways.

Ewwww Doug just saying "I love Donna" blech

He's asking if Donna will be okay after never seeing her sad before but almost the first proper interaction Dean had with Donna seeing her as more than local police but as a person was seeing her deep dark pit of sadness about how Doug1 treated her, and told her she deserves better. He KNOWS Donna has a lot of sadness and self-worth issues she doesn't let on, and if Doug doesn't know about them after a year, he's not someone Donna opens up to. She opened up to Jody immediately, in contrast :P

"Not sure what you mean."

Doug lists some really superficial things they talk about as talking about "everything"

"I think she's hiding something from me"

Dean is like... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

He tells Doug he's going to be there for Donna and to trust her.

Maybe I just really hate Doug more and more but Dean's starting to remind me of the Lester conversation in 10x02 but just in bafflement about how Doug could possibly ~get~ Donna.

Meanwhile Donna looks like she's about to school Pastor Dickhead

He's sitting there with the lighting giving him a halo while playing butter won't melt in his mouth

And she's playing friendly cute Donna facade while telling him he's gonna be had for dinner for 2 days in the cells while getting him to talk

She's awesome.

Well that's super suspicious that the cashier closed early and chased after Wendy... We're halfway through so allowing for monster nonsense to get added in...

At this point because it took so long to get to a download, my mum insisted we watch the episode together while we ate so I now know everything that happened. D:

Ugh creepy pastor. ugh. the least he deserves is being reduced to crying by Donna while interrogating him.

Mr Totally Not The Bad Guy being like "But the shiiiirt" and Sam and Donna are too smart to think it makes sense for a moment. Sam says almost exactly what I would have done - hurr blurr I evaded capture for 12 years but here I am with a bloody shirt in my van

I mean the pastor is probably someone they were sizing up as potential eating and just hadn't got around to him yet, so he also worked as a fall guy

Anyway blatant "but if it isn't him who is it" cut to the cashier

The plot makes mores sense with hindsight that he cracks and shows Dean the video because they'd recognised the Winchesters' car and so he wasn't just playing dumb that he happened to know the website but his albi was being over here while the live cutting up was going on but that he confidently had the reassurance they didn't know he was a vampire so he could go along with whatever while leading them into a trap, and thinking that his day ended with packing up bits of Winchesters to go.

The "how they do it in the FBI" pathetic slap and then the Look that Donna gives Dean and the shifty look he gives back before turning to Doug and giving him another "but yeah it is" nod to back it up is an amazing silent exchange

Whoops Doug finds out about monsters. Dean has another "awkward" look caught between them

At this point Wendy being auctioned is really just bait to make them come

I will forgive Sam for not being more suspicious of Mr FBI on account of him having a very bad day but the point where he shows up and helps them investigate and Sam, now knowing it's monsters, doesn't fob him off harder but just says "alright follow me" is where I call impaired judgement

The caged halo lights are back and the creepy mask guy doesn't get to stand under one but one is directly behind Wendy in the video clip of her screaming

The trick with the radio is good because it works on us too knowing the torture is currently going on with that music playing.

And then we go to Doug being roughed up and turned because it's time to do all the reveals now we have the fake out, so Sam gets knocked out and Doug left as a distraction and the cashier to hold them up.

Oops Doug is a vampire. Doug growling is weird

Pfft and he just immediately attacks Donna. Dean is very quick thinking to immediately grab dead man's blood as soon as things start going.

"Well thanks for making it easy for me."

The vampire comes back to gloat and tell Dean that Sam's been got.

I love that Donna has no patience and just shoots the guy's knee out because we need to sort things out and Dean's showy machete waving ways aren't her style :P

"No no no get further back. He's a big boy, we need a wiiiide lens" I know it's terrible but I laughed SO HARD

"Hell soon as I saw that fancy car I knew who you were"

... we do always say is it a good idea that they keep driving it around? no. but will they stop? Never. :P

"The Butterfly" giving Sam a rough estimate of how many monsters there are - 100s of thousands - says the ones Sam and Dean see are too mean or stupid to "pass" which does lend itself to a double-edged fear of every day people being monsters... I think the implication with a corrupt FBI guy and the monsters we see all being white peeps is not a racist implication but more commentary on society being awful and so on, and I think using the racist preacher as the absolute scum of humanity is a good way to avoid too much weird implications about monsters - the BMoL had that creepy Brexit parallel which sort of cast monsters as immigrants which of course, considering they might well eat people, wasn't the neatest message.

I think this is a bit more tuned to 2018 anyway :P My concerns about the social commentary from earlier have mostly evaporated.

He thinks he's saving good honest American lives by feeding only people who won't be missed to the monsters - and he mentioned that the Mexican guy had a family which means he WOULD be missed - he's just racist too.

He's good at the whole auction voice thing though.

They really toned down the vampire cure thing because Dean barfed his guts up with it and now he's letting Donna give Doug the cure in the car as they drive.

In the *car*

"Let's begin the auction for Sam Winchester's HEART"

lemme tell you, even coming in at like 500k that's still not as much as it's worth. That is a priceless artefact there.

I absolutely adore the "you had no idea your aunt could do that" fight sequence :D

Like, she knows Donna's a cop, but having her just bust in and kill the guy...

What an aunt.

"There are many pieces to Sam Winchester but only one heart"

Honestly, devoid of context, I wanna see that on like 8 different artsy Sam edits.

Fake out Sam getting shot. "Since Dean's out there, quick and dirty."

Not quick enough.

Sam having a "huh, I'm not dead," moment. After we see the close up gunshot and that's why Sam and "The Butterfly" were both down to their white shirts, because there's just a mo where we aren't sure which one of them we're seeing even though it was aimed at Sam's head so it's clear just from seeing a shot to the heart that it wasn't Sam.

Also he wouldn't just randomly die, I say in a season where Dean randomly died already :P

Dean does those quips just for Sammy's benefit

I think Donna and Doug maaay not have been dating but she kinda realised she might like him now they've had a sort of adventure together...

"I was a vampire!" "For a couple of hours"

Ah well, bye bye Doug, thanks for breaking Donna's heart, don't let the door hit you on the way out.

This was a bit drawn out but I think it was important for Donna even if Doug is really annoying so I don't like watching him struggle on screen.

I think Donna really hoped she'd found someone in the life

Sam just sees it as completely inevitable and good for Donna that she doesn't have someone she cares about in the firing line.

Ow.

Ow ow ow ow.

Oh Donna as well... :(

I'm just in so much pain for Sam and Donna. Dean needs to hug 'em both.

He just gives Donna the pat on the shoulder while she cries.

Buuut now she's Doug-free for Wayward Sisters, hurrah!

She and Jody can bond and discover something in each other they didn't even know they were missing :3

That Jody's name isn't "Doug" for starters.

Dean's still harping on what Sam said to Donna, both telling her to get used to having no one close to you and just in general, yikes it's never good to hear someone you care about talking that way about caring about people and he should know he's BEEN there.

This is like the dark opposite of 11x04's optimistic Sam and "someone in the life" stuff.

Sam angrily stands his ground because he's a grumpy goose today "Was I wrong?"

it seems like Kaia set off his latest mood but also in losing Jack in the process of looking for Mary, who, also, is still gone and not seen for weeks before that, presumed dead... I would guess the fact that he was miserable in The Bad Place was the start of this, before Kaia died, and losing her really just symbolised how shitty everything is, the cherry on top of losing all the people they care about over and over.

After Dean spent the first part of the season his terrible way, now Sam's got his overdue depression and breakdown (tiiitle drop) that has been lurking below the surface...

... if we're lucky, as Sam fans, this might not just be a one-episode thing but actually, like, something that's going to happen in an ongoing way for Sam??

Sam denies he's in a dark place because everything he's saying is true, but Sam normally does repress and get optimistic about finding ways to research their way out of whatever hole they get themselves into this time.

Which ain't healthy but is how Sam manages to skim over the top of being in a dark place most times, meaning this is really hitting him hard now.

He also mentions Cas in his list of having mom and cas back and helping jack, accidentally playing into the dramatic irony in another way, of not knowing Cas is currently in trouble now as well but still listing him among the ones they've lost and that he's lost hope over...

"This ends one way for us, Dean."

And with that, the ginormous, grimy, rusty cog behind the entire mechanism, finally clunks around a slot, turning it from Dean as the dying bloody mindset Winchester to Sam, for the first time in a long time, and in a very curious way that Dean, who states it all the time, is now forced to evaluate and to think, do I really agree with it? I say it all the time but WOAH THAT IS HORRIFYING TO HEAR COMING OUT OF SAMMY'S MOUTH WHAT THE HELL WHO BELIVES THAT?

I'M CARVING THAT FUCKER A SLICE OF THE APPLE PIE LIFE AND HE'S GONNA SHUT UP AND EAT HIS DAMN LIZARD. PIE. I MEANT PIE.

Anyway then we end of that awful shot of Sam from the outside of the impala looking in on him which just makes us feel helpless about not being able to hug him, in my scientific opinion of what that shot is implying.

#13x11 #season 13 spoilers #my stuff

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