GUYS STOP I ACTUALLY COUNTED

117 NORMAL SIZED (1k - 5k) FICS

and 12 lil mini drabbles and thoughts

PLUS SKZ TK CHARTS

English added by me :)

quick lil ETHOwO redraw

it’s been six years so i’m sure we’ve discussed this without me but the same cold snap that caused the terror to start terroring was also the one that fucked the donner party down in the sierras because 1846 weather simply had that dog in it. crazy

my brother has long entertained the notion of a giant person having a big cat as a pet, but the giant is exactly large enough that the cat is proportionately house cat sized.

earlier today we were discussing this again, and decided to figure how exactly big that would be. Using our own cat (who was on his lap at the moment), our shared knowledge of biology, pop culture, linear measurements, and no actual math, we came up with a rough estimation. So if anyone out there needs to know how big a person would need to be for a tiger to be appropriately kitty sized, it’s Optimus Prime. Hope you find this knowledge helpful

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

fairy miku miku

Daddy, don't go.

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Edit 4/30/24: 200 NOTES?! GEEZUMS UHHH THANKS GUYS!!!!

why are PJO characters most consistently measured in scales of Michaels?

Like. this is some of the most specific height information we have out of most characters, besides maybe Percy being an inch shorter than Jason. The Michaels Scale...

oh. my god.

i have the most horrible HORRIBLE THOUGHT.

what if yuujis interpretation of sukunas slashes/ct (shrine) was like this--

with the scissors and cutting lines and everything-- WAS BECAUSE OF NANAMI BECAUSE OF HIS RATIO TECHNIQUE--

I MEAN LOOK AT IT-- LOOOOOOOOK

IT MAKES SENSE AND I AM NOT DELUSIONAL

NANAMI IS HIS DAD, FIGHT ME

etho the tango girl TM

Etho: You shoulda seen Tango this one day, when we were tryna figure out the statistics math for voting and stuff. Oh my goodness. Tango...Tango knows some math. Bdubs: Really? Etho: Yes. Tango: [giggles] What are you talking about? Etho: Remember when we were tryna work out what's fair voting and all that? And you went into all this probability stuff. How there's actually no such thing as a fair vote, and everything's biased. Tango: Yeah. [laughs] I kinda remember that. Etho: Oh, it was...And he proved it! And I was like, wow... Tango: [giggles]

i made this self portrait. just a glimpse into my sick and twisted reality. not like you'd understand anyways

BORN TO SWIM

WORLD IS A WATER

オランダ獅子頭 BLIND Em All 1989

I am oranda man

410,757,864,530 DEAD COPS

It's crazy how people talk about loumand like they hate each other and have never once looked at each other with anything resembling lust, like two nuns at a silent covent. Buddy louis has had bed death with his husband, and that husband wasn't armand lemme tell you that!

So I decided to do some maturation math for the party and depending on how you calculate dwarven maturation, Chilchuck could be the oldest in terms of maturation.

To put it in relatable terms, I tried to calculate how old everyone would be if they were Tall-men.

Tall men only have the average lifespan of 60 in dunmeshi so shorter than most places irl.

Half-foots are only 10 years shorter for as much emphasis they put on how short-lived they are at an average lifespan of 50 years.

Dwarves live to 200... which brings complications. Laios mentions that dwarves live 2.5 times longer than tall men but... they don't. They live 3.33 times longer. 2.5 would mean tall-men have the average life expectancy of 80, which real people do in Japan. So I think Kui just forgot that tall-men don't live as long when she wrote that. But that means there are two valid ways to calculate Dwarven maturation. For this I'll do both and I'm not sure which I prefer yet.

Marcille is stated to be roughly the equivalent of a 20 year old and I'm just going to role with that because her maturation is a mess.

So for Chilchuck, I just added 10 years to his age for his Tall-man maturation level, meaning he's basically a 38 year old.

For Senshi, I divided his age by the two numbers we have. So, going with the 2.5 estimation, Senshi would be 44, pushing 45. (44.8) But if we go with the 3.33 estimation, he'd only be 36.

SO if you take dwarven maturation at the 3.33 times slower than tall-man maturation then Chilchuck is the oldest in the context of maturation at his species’ equivalent of 38. If you take the stated 2.5 maturation rate for Dwarves then the eldest is Senshi at his species’ equivalent of 44. Laios is third at 26, and Marcille is the youngest adult at ~20-ish, and Izutsumi is 17 as she is just a tall-man with a curse.

TOP TEN SMOSH DYNAMICS AS VOTED BY MY FOLLOWERS → 4: spencer & tommy

" just asking how my boy's penis is! "