#Ryan will pay for his crimes
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Just watched the new puppet history. MY BOY IS BACK!! and new lore? Is he a ghost now? My boy a ghost
#shane madej#watcher#ryan bergara#we are watcher#watcher entertainment#shane and ryan#puppet history#my boy!!!#my beloved#my bestie#my homie the professor#ghost professor?#paranormal electricity box bringing back the professor?!??#is he haunting ryan?#is ryan having nightmares?#ryan needs to pay for his crimes#ryan bergara needs to be caught#is ghost professor haunting watcher headquarters?
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Me or the Ring
Requested by @diavolosbaby! Thanks for the amazing idea and my first Hal req!!
Pairing: Hal Jordan x fem!reader
Summary: When the Guardians suspect you, a woman from earth, of working with the Star Sapphires to commit mass murder, Hal Jordan volunteers to find evidence. He accidentally falls for you in the process, but you find out why he let you get so close and pull away.
Warnings: some fluff, and then a bunch of angst! Ignore the fact that Hal, Kyle, and Guy are Green Lanterns at the same time in this, I needed more drama
Word Count: 3.5k+ words
A/N: This is my first attempt writing for Hal, so I apologize if he's OOC! I don't specify which Hal this is about, but I imagined Ryan Reynolds' and GLTAS characterizations while creating this! I hope you enjoy and please feel free to let me know what you think!!💚
Picture from Pinterest
“Ow!” Hal yells, looking over at Kilowog as he holds his side. Lowering his voice, he asks, “What is your problem, man?”
Kilowog points toward the Guardians, and Hal reluctantly begins paying attention to the meeting. The Guardians of the Universe are known for many things, but brevity is not one of them.
“… in Sector 2814. The woman is believed to be working with the Star Sapphires, responsible for the deaths of several Lanterns, and Green Lantern Hal Jordan’s kind alike,” Sayd announces.
“We’re called men, humans, homo sapiens. We’ll even answer to ‘bro’ if you catch us at the right time,” Hal replies.
“Green Lantern Jordan, if you’d allow us to finish,” Ganthet grumbles. “We have allowed the Star Sapphires to remain peacefully, provided they did not return to their old ways. Based on the evidence we have, that is no longer the case. The Guardians and I have elected to send someone to Earth in Sector 2814 to investigate the woman, get to know her, and gather any proof you can find. The Intergalactic Court, operating under Tribune of the High Court of Rimbor, needs proof or this woman and the Star Sapphires will be allowed to continue their murderous tirade across the sectors.”
“Did he take a breath or was that all in one go?” Hal mutters.
“This is the target,” Sayd calls.
A holographic picture appears behind him, your face smiling over the Green Lantern Corps.
“Uh, Ganthet!” Hal calls. “Since it’s my sector, and I am, well, my kind. Wouldn’t it make the most sense for me to go home and get to know this beautiful woman?”
“We no longer trust you when the Star Sapphires are involved,” Sayd answers. “I’m sure you recall the incident with Carol Ferris?”
“That was one time! C’mon, guys, I’m quite literally the only man for the job. I can get to know her, and if there’s anything to find, I’ll find it.”
“You could say that again,” Kilowog adds with a chuckle.
“Not like that,” Hal replies, sending a pleading look to Kilowog. “This won’t be like last time. If she’s working with the Sapphires to murder my kind, I want to know, too. Whoever this is needs to pay for their crimes.”
Ganthet and Sayd turn toward the other Guardians, arguing quietly as the rest of the Green Lantern Corp watches. Hal looks around, but he can’t find another Lantern who has any chance of blending in on Earth. Even with the willpower of the rings, creating a disguise for extended amounts of time is unreliable and dangerous.
Ganthet sighs as he turns around. “Hal Jordan, Green Lantern of Sector 2814, the Guardians have chosen you to complete this mission.”
Hal pumps a fist in victory, lowering it quickly when Sayd adds, “At the first sign of error, or your usual activities, we will pull you from your own sector and send another Lantern to gather the information we require.”
“Usual activities? I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean,” Hal answers, an easy, innocent smile on his face.
“You do. May I be the first to remind you that your duty is to the ring, to Oa, and to the people you protect.”
“Aye, aye, Captain. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve got a date- mission! A mission to prepare for.”
Hal flies over the crowd of Lanterns, leaving Oa behind.
“Good luck, kid,” Kilowog whispers after him. “Don’t make anybody regret it… poozer.”
✯✯✯✯✯
Hal has been following you around town for two days. Just as he begins feeling too much like a stalker, you finally give him a chance. When you walk into a coffee shop, Hal waits a few minutes before entering after you. He orders the first thing he sees on the menu, grateful for a busy day. There’s an open seat beside you, and he puts on his best Hal Jordan-charm as he approaches you.
“Hi. Sorry to interrupt, but d’ya mind if I sit here?” Hal asks, pointing to the seat across from you.
You lean to the side, noticing most of the seats are taken. Nodding, you return your attention to the newspaper sitting before you.
“Any idea who leaked the information about this one? It’s impossible to find a quiet coffee shop here and it seems we’ve lost another one,” Hal adds.
Furrowing your brows, you glance over the top of the paper. “Well, it’s a city of caffeine addicts and people who don’t want to stay home alone.”
“Do you fit into that demographic?”
“I’ll answer your question if you answer one of mine,” you offer, laying the paper on the table and smoothing your hand over the cover.
“Shoot,” Hal answers, smiling.
“Do you flirt with every girl you run into in coffee shops? I only ask because you seem to be a bit of an expert.”
“On coffee shops or flirting with pretty girls?”
You roll your eyes, smiling as you lean back in your seat. “The latter.”
“Okay,” Hal relents, chuckling. “I only flirt with the really, very pretty ones.”
“Lots of those in Coast City.”
“Not as many as you’d think.” Hal takes a drink of his overpriced coffee before noticing the disinterested look on your face. “I didn’t mean it like that. Not that there aren’t beautiful women here, just that you’re one of the prettiest, and I- I should probably just stop talking now.”
“Might be wise.” Your smile returns as you muse, “You’re still no Bruce Wayne.”
Hal’s brows furrow at the mention of Bruce, and you tap your finger on the copy of Gotham Gazette. He reads the headline about Bruce appearing with an unknown woman, the seventh date in as many weeks, and rolls his eyes.
“Can’t believe people think that guy is Batman.”
“You seem like a Batman fan,” you reply, tilting your head to the side. “No, wait, Wonder Woman, right?”
“Well, she is the definition of girl power, but I’m more of a Flash fan myself.”
“Central City,” you murmur, raising your cup to your lips. “Interesting.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Answer for an answer?” Hal wastes no time nodding, so you ask, “Why are you really flirting with me?”
“Because I want to.”
You purse your lips before shrugging. “It just means I thought you’d be Coast City or bust. Didn’t expect you to make a choice that wasn’t…”
“Misogynistic?” Hal provides.
“Obvious,” you determine.
“Well, I’m full of surprises.”
“And lies,” you accuse.
Hal’s chin drops, his eyes wide as he asks, “What?”
Fiddling with his ring under the table, he begins to fear the worst. If he can’t get to know you, find what he hopes is a complete absence of proof, and take the information back to Oa, they’ll send a Lantern trained in getting answers rather than creating relationships.
“There’s an empty table right behind you. I’ve known since you asked to sit that you had an ulterior motive.”
Hal sighs, and you stand.
“I’d recommend the story on page four,” you whisper, picking up your cup and walking past Hal.
He turns to watch you exit, and when you wink at him, he pulls the paper toward him quickly, nearly ripping it in half as he opens to page four. Your name and number are scribbled at the bottom, and Hal sits back in relief.
He almost misses the story about Green Lantern on the next page and murmurs, “I’m in trouble.”
✯✯✯✯✯
“Hal?” you ask.
“Hey,” he answers, sitting across from you. “You didn’t answer my text.”
“You didn’t send me a text,” you reply, pulling your phone from your pocket. There is an unread text received less than two minutes ago. “'Did you get prettier?'” you read.
“No, but I think you did.”
Hal’s smile is contagious, and as you try to hide yours from him, you wonder how he did it, how he's consumed your every thought. He’s been on your mind nonstop since your first meeting, and even when he’s sitting in front of you, you want more.
“That’s all I get?” you ask. “More flirting, no invitation to dinner or private jet flight?”
“Private jet?”
You point to the plane pin on Hal’s leather jacket, and he nods to himself.
“I was a pilot in the Air Force, then I started doing test flights,” he explains.
“Didn’t answer my question, though, flyboy.”
“Flyboy?” Hal repeats, unable to decide if he’s amused or offended.
“No answers ‘til I get one.”
“Would you like to go to dinner with me?”
“Nope,” you answer quickly. “And you’re a boy who flies, so… flyboy.”
Hal looks at you, and you sigh.
“I don’t know you, Hal. Sure, you can flirt, but that’s not a reason to go out with you.”
“Then go with me as new acquaintances. If you meet me, not the me that flirts in coffee shops, and want to go on a date with me, then that’s great. If not, I’ll leave you alone.”
You lean over the table to ask, “Are you going to make it worth it?”
Hal copies your position, nearly bumping his nose into yours as he answers, “More than worth it. Because you are.”
“You’re the cheesiest man I’ve ever met, flyboy.”
“You don’t know the half of it.”
✯✯✯✯✯
When you enter the restaurant, Hal forgets why he’s back in his hometown. You smile as you join him, and for once in his life, Hal Jordan is speechless.
Kilowog will never believe me about this, he thinks.
“You alright, flyboy?” you ask kindly. “Is the outfit too much? Because I couldn’t-“
“No, no,” he blurts out. “You look amazing, beautiful, all the good words.”
Biting your bottom lip, you nod your thanks before lifting the menu. With each moment spent with Hal, the actual Hal, you fall a little more for him. Sure, you thought he was attractive and kind when he approached you in the coffee shop, but this side of him is different. He tells you about his past as a pilot and his hobbies but asks about you, too, hanging onto your every word.
After dinner and dessert have been cleared from your table, someone tells you that the restaurant is closing, and you need to leave. Hal chuckles, apologizing to the waiter as he stands, offering his hand to you, clutching it as you exit.
Once you’re outside, you shiver against the night air, and Hal removes his jacket.
“Hal, no,” you begin, quieting when he drapes it over your shoulders.
“Hal, yes,” he replies as he takes your hand again. “Thank you for giving me a chance.”
“I- I don’t want it to be over,” you admit quietly.
“It doesn’t have to.”
You stop, pulling Hal with you as you look at him, feeling like you are the only people in the world. His free hand raises to your shoulder, his fingers wrapping around the back of your neck as his thumb brushes behind your ear.
“One more chance?” he murmurs.
“Take as many as you want, flyboy.”
Hal smiles, stepping to you as he closes the distance, pressing his lips to yours. Your skin surges with emotions and what can only be described as sparks, shivering for a whole new reason as Hal releases your hand, sliding his arm between your back and his jacket to pull you closer. You raise your hands to his sides, sliding them around his back to rest between his shoulder blades. Something buzzes, and Hal pulls back quickly.
“I’m so sorry, it’s a work thing,” he apologizes, rubbing his thumb under your bottom lip to fix your lip gloss. “I will call you tomorrow. Take you up on those other chances?”
“You better, flyboy.”
“Text me when you get home, okay?”
You nod, watching Hal jog down the sidewalk. You turn away, tugging his jacket closer to your chest and smiling. He left it, giving him a reason to call again. Despite your initial thoughts about Hal Jordan, you’re falling for the flyboy, Flash fan, world-class flirter, and his softer side.
✯✯✯✯✯
“What?” Hal asks, raising his hand to expose the hologram playing from his ring.
“Have you made any progress with the suspect?” Ganthet asks.
Hal bristles at the term ‘suspect,’ but hides it as he replies, “Yes. I’ve gotten close but there’s no evidence so far. I will keep you updated, Ganthet. Got that? I will keep you updated, not the other way around, or you will blow my cover!”
“Touchy,” Ganthet mumbles as he ends the call.
Sirens echo in the distance, and Hal sighs as his Green Lantern suit forms around him. He wants to find you and feel you rather than sheer willpower, but he has a mission, a job to complete.
✯✯✯✯✯
“Hello?” you greet tiredly.
“Now, don’t get too excited,” Hal chides playfully. “What’s going on, pretty girl?”
Glad he can’t see your smile, you reply, “I thought you moved on, flyboy.”
“Sorry; work got crazy, but I couldn’t forget about you if I had amnesia.”
“That’s literally the definition of amnesia, Hal.”
“Stop giving me dictionary lessons and get dressed.”
“For what?”
“Care to go for a private flight?”
“That better not be a double entendre,” you answer, standing to get dressed.
“It’s not,” Hal answers with a loud laugh. “Just get dressed and come outside.”
“Are you here?”
“Babe, listen carefully: get dressed and come outside.”
“Fine, fine. Someone’s bossy today,” you say as you end the call.
Five minutes later, you walk onto the sidewalk and are pulled into a hug.
“I thought I told you to stop getting prettier,” Hal says against your shoulder.
You shrug, returning his hug before settling against his side as he leads you to his car. The drive to Ferris Air is filled with easy conversation as Hal becomes more convinced that you are not the killer the Guardians think you are. Unfortunately, he has no evidence to prove that you did or did not. If you’re working with the Star Sapphires, they’d cover for you, but Hal can't see you doing anything with people like them.
“Alright, let’s go,” Hal says, opening your door and offering his hand.
He leads you into a building and up several flights of stairs before entering an office.
“Are we breaking and entering?” you whisper as he opens the door to a balcony.
“Not strictly speaking,” he answers.
Once you’re on the balcony, the view takes your breath away. There’s nothing in sight, just the beauty of Coast City. Hal moves behind you, letting you lean against his chest as his arms circle your waist.
“Thanks, flyboy,” you say, turning toward him.
“It’s almost as pretty as you,” he flirts.
Hal moves one hand away from you as his ring buzzes.
“Enjoy the view for a minute, I’ll be right back.”
As you nod, Hal kisses your neck before walking inside. A streak of green light moves across the sky, and you shake your head.
“Flash is better,” you murmur, leaning against the rail to watch the sunset.
✯✯✯✯✯
When Hal hasn’t returned in nearly ten minutes, you wander inside, looking around the office. You hear Hal’s voice, a harsh whisper, and tiptoe toward the door. Cracking it open, you see Coast City’s Green Lantern whisper-yelling at his hand.
“She didn’t do it!” he insists.
“Hal?” you ask, stepping into the hallway, your hand gripping the doorknob tightly.
As he turns toward you, his green mask disappears, and you see a small, round creature above his ring briefly, but it is gone before you can get a better look.
“You’re the Green Lantern?” you ask, stepping back to keep room between yourself and Hal.
His suit disappears, wearing his clothes from earlier again as he raises his hands, an apologetic look on his face.
Another creature appears on Hal’s ring (green ring, you notice). It says, “If you are unable to find any evidence, regardless of your position on the case, then we will send someone else who will do their job rather than court a suspect of an intergalactic murder spree!”
Pressing your lips together, you wait for Hal to speak.
“I can explain,” he begins.
He doesn’t continue, so you ask, “That is why you started dating me? Because you think I’m guilty of an ‘intergalactic’ crime?”
“No,” he answers firmly. “That’s why I approached you the first time, but my intentions were never-“
“No, Hal, you made your intentions perfectly clear,” you interrupt, ignoring the tear rolling over your cheek. “I’m glad that ring means so much to you because it is the only thing you will ever manage to keep close.”
“Please, just let me tell you why I did it,” Hal begs.
“Let me guess,” you snap. “It’s your job or your duty, and you never believed that I was capable of it, but you had to be sure. I don’t know what is going on or who you really are, but I’m done, Hal. Stay away from me.”
You storm out of the building, beginning the long walk back home. Wrapping your arms around yourself, memories of the last few weeks play in your mind. The questions that seemed like Hal was trying to get to know you were a ploy to get information, and finding you wasn’t serendipitous; it was an assignment from space creatures.
Hal lands before you, once again dressed as the Green Lantern. “Don’t do this, please. I get that you’re mad, but- at least let me take you home.”
“I think you’ve done more than enough, Green Lantern.”
“Please,” Hal whispers.
“Did you even consider how this would affect me? Or were you just too busy doing your job to think about anyone other than yourself?”
“That’s not fair.”
“You used me, Hal. Find someone else to increase your arrest record or whatever it is you do.”
You walk around Hal, and he sighs before calling, “You still have my jacket.”
“I’ll leave it at the coffee shop,” you yell. “Wear it the next time you pretend to care about someone for your own gain!”
Hal clenches his jaw, exhaling as he rips his ring off his finger. As he prepares to throw it, he remembers what the Guardians said.
Hal failed, so they’ll send someone else. Following you in the shadows, Hal becomes your protector rather than your friend or your flyboy. He tries to ignore how hard you’re crying as you leave him behind, but he wants nothing more than to wrap you in his arms and tell you everything.
✯✯✯✯✯
“Green Lantern Kilowog, your recruit failed his mission,” Ganthet announces.
“Sorry, kid,” Kilowog mutters to his ring.
“Would you like to pick up where he left off?”
“I don’t think any earthen homo sapien is gonna wanna talk to me.”
“I see. Well then, we have Green Lantern Guy Gardner and Green Lantern Kyle Rayner. The goal of this mission, as I hope you remember, is to find evidence that this woman is working with the Star Sapphires.”
“Ganthet, are you sure this is a good idea?” Kilowog interjects. “Hal said there was no evidence. She’s going to get suspicious.”
“I can distract her, Kilowog,” Kyle promises. “She won’t even know what hit her.”
“Then it’s decided. Green Lantern Kyle Rayner will take the lead on this mission, and Guy Gardner will provide backup as needed,” Ganthet declares.
Kilowog leaves the meeting early, calling Hal and begging him to answer.
“What do you want?” Hal greets.
“They’re sendin’ Rayner and Gardner to get intel on your girl,” Kilowog explains quickly.
“When?”
“Now.”
“Kilowog, this woman is innocent. I’m gonna need some help proving it.”
“I’ll be there, kid,” Kilowog assures. “But for now, you need to keep her safe from them.”
“She doesn’t trust me.”
“What happened?”
Hal gives him a condensed version of the story and Kilowog sighs before saying, “You messed up, poozer.”
“You think I don’t know that?”
“But you can fix it.”
“How? She doesn’t need a hero, Kilowog.”
“Then don’t be a hero, be whatever she needs you to be. That includes being honest, kid.”
“I’ll try. Get here as soon as you can, and don’t tell the Guardians that I’m on earth for her. They think it’s for the wildfires.”
“I’m on your team,” Kilowog reminds Hal before ending the call. “Even if you are a poozer.”
✯✯✯✯✯
Hal and Kilowog are watching from a roof as Kyle Rayner approaches you. You’re more standoffish than you were with Hal, and that’s enough to remind him of what you said the last time you spoke to him. He broke your heart, destroyed your trust, and ensured he’d never have another chance with you, but he’s still here for you.
“He’s trying to get her to talk about her past,” Kilowog says.
Hal only watches you, so Kilowog has taken to keeping an eye on Kyle. Neither Hal nor Kilowog trusts Kyle completely, but now they’re on opposite sides of this case.
“Hal,” Kilowog grunts. “He’s taking her somewhere.”
Kyle has a hand around your arm, and you’re pulling back against him.
“C’mon, you’re my girl,” Hal murmurs. “You know what to do. Don’t trust him.”
Kilowog glances over at Hal, and when Hal’s eyes widen suddenly, he turns quickly. You, Kyle, Hal, and Kilowog are all staring at the sapphire circle opening in the air.
“Hal,” you whisper, pressing a button on your phone a moment before his phone rings.
#hal jordan x reader#hal jordan x fem!reader#dc comics x reader#green lantern#hal jordan#dc comics#green lantern corps#requests#fem!reader
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One of the reasons I HATE the show so much is because I got a Synfyre tattoo not long after the book came out (Aegon and Sunfyre’s have one of my favourite dragon and dragon rider bond) and now I’m out here looking like I support a rapist! I constantly need to defend his character and clarify book Aegon is nothing like show Aegon
Nonnie, Ryan and his hacks need to pay for their crimes.
The fact that people even appreciated Aegon and Sunfyre and their arc before HotD, these writers are NOT seeing the pearly gates.
But when people talk about the show, just gaslight them and say: “What show? I only know the books.”
But a tattoo of Sunfyre, it must look so good. 🥰😭
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This response would be more appropriate for when Rhaenyra takes King's Landing. If I remember correctly she was welcomed by some smallfolk, only for them to turn hostile afterwards from the way she over-taxed them, her paranoia and wanton executions.
Following up with the (fictitious) consequences of Aegon's conduct is understandable but why does Alicent have to pay the price for her son's (totally fictitious Miguel/Sara/Ryan fanfic) crimes? If it is true, I hope we will see Rhaenyra suffer the consequences of being connected to Daemon and his crimes, but what am I kidding? 🤣
#set speculation#hotd#alicent hightower#aegon ii targaryen#house of the dragon#house of the dragon season 2
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This
has the exact 👏🏻 same 👏🏻 vibes 👏🏻 as this
and Ryan Murphy must pay for his crimes.
#911 abc#911 season 7#911 season 7 spoilers#911 marisol#i saw the nun fit again and my brain went#‘holy fucking shit it’s grilled cheesus 2.0’#Ryan Murphy you will pay for what you’ve done
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My Hacketteer-Headcannons
Jacob has sensitive skin, so he shaves a lot of his body hair and has an upkeep on his personal hygiene and he likes tropical scents, so he uses a lot of products with the scent. "If I feel good, I look good".
Abi is totally a Tumblr user.
Emma has a fear of commitment. Not in the sense of being 'tied down' to another person, but she has a fear of the far future, as her fear of not being in control affects that.
Ryan knows all of the Scooby Doo lore. He watched it all the time as a kid, and it really plays into his love of urban legends and mystery.
Ryan and Abi love True Crime, and they often bond over it.
Dylan actually roller skates a lot in his free time, and he often goes to his local roller rink for 'Saturday Night Fever' Roller Disco. Man has got long limbs, and he can make them move
Nick wants to be a chef, and is the top of his class in Culinary Arts.
Emma and Nick do a lot of Yoga together.
Jacob has seen and loved the pitch perfect trilogy over 12 times in his life.
Dylan also uses Tumblr.
Jacob only lives with his mom, and his dad is always 'too busy' to hangout.
Nick has an older sister who is a professional ballet dancer, and he often watched her practice, and he picked up a couple things.
Nick also has parents who fight a lot. I feel like when he was turning, and he said those mean things to Abi, those words were what he's just grown up hearing, and he has a lot of insecurities about Abi so he really just said what he thought she thought of him.
Dylan has a little brother who is in little league, who he often helps practice, and so he played catch with Jacob once, and Jacob actually cried because he never got to with his dad.
Emma, Ryan, and Abi all love Arizona Green Tea.
Max and Laura grew up together, and all around have had an established trust and bond since they were like, 5.
Max is scared of spiders.
Laura actually loves zombie movies and lore, and it's totally not one of the reasons she wants to be a vet...
Max also loves pitch perfect, although not as much as Jacob.
Laura actually doesn't really enjoy movies all that much. She's more of the constant productive and she just can't sit down for more than an hour to pay attention to a movie.
Max has a peanut allergy.
Kaitlyn's dad is photographer, and her mom was in the military, so she has been to many gun safety classes in her youth.
Emma's favorite Disney character is Sven from Frozen.
Kaitlyn does a lot of babysitting.
Kaitlyn also skateboards a lot.
Kaitlyn and Emma both play Basketball.
I hoped you guys all enjoyed this! This is just a little something while I work on the next chapter to the "Charmer" series!
#the quarry#dylan lenivy#dylan the quarry#nick the quarry#jacob custos#jacob the quarry#emma the quarry#kaitlyn the quarry#ryan the quarry#abi the quarry#max the quarry#laura kearney#laura the quarry
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buzzfeed unsolved: The disappearance of Jason Todd
Ryan
Shane
—
This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved we will be discussing the disappearance of Jason Todd-Wayne, which has had updates as recently as last week.
Wait last week? Ryan, if we disappear because of this episode imagine how cool it would be. Maybe we hang with our good pal Jason.
I don’t have time for you being stupid. I have to get this right, because let me be honest. I have a man crush on Bruce Wayne, and if he ends up watching this and you’re being stupid I’ll never forgive you.
Okay, sure. Cause Bruce Wayne is searching the internet for every little thing posted about his dead son.
(wheeze)
We don’t know if he’s dead! And that’s what I’m here to talk about today.
-
Jason Peter Todd was born August 16th, 2000 in Gotham City, New Jersey, to his mother Dr. Sheila Haywood and his father Willis Todd. However only a few months later did Willis Todd marry Catherine Johnson, forcing Dr. Haywood to have to relinquish custody.
If I ever have a kid-
-they would all have your big head and I’d feel sorry for them.
Ryan. I listen to you ramble about murderers and ghosts. Let me tell my spiel.
(wheeze)
Right, sorry.
If I ever have a kid with someone, I think I’d be really upset if they just kinda made me give my kid to a stranger.
Here’s the thing to that! No one has heard or seen from Dr. Sheila Haywood since, like after her son was born. The only thing that might link back to her is an illegal botched surgery, but most of it was sealed off, and I don’t feel like having the Gotham City Police Department call me up
(ring ring)
Hi yes, are you that idiot from that show? You will be arrested immediately! Batman and his group of… misfits?? I don’t know, but they are on their way!
Moving on from your weird role play, like all the families that live in Park Row, what is deemed “Crime Alley”, the Todd family did not have money.
You could not pay me to go to a place called Crime Alley.
We were actually going to Gotham, scope around, maybe get a selfie with Robin-
-Which one?
I need to do an episode trying to figure out how many Robin’s there actually are… I think there have been five?? Six?? I don’t know… stop distracting me with Batman! We ended up scraping the visitation part because apparently this time of year Arkham breakouts are common, and I don’t want to get fear gassed.
-
Jason did decent at school, until he stopped showing up, school records are really spotty after third grade. Apparently he was reading and understanding college level stuff, but that’s really all we got on it.
Not a lot on this guys younger life it looks like.
No there isn’t, not any social media posts, or news articles, or anything if that sort about Jason until a few years later in 2012, when Jason became the ward to the one and only, Bruce Wayne.
Ah, Bruce Wayne, you love him, I love him, uhm- I actually don’t know much about Bruce Wayne other than the fact he’s one of the few rich people who give away a shit ton of money.
Bruce Wayne is a billionaire CEO, with a heart of gold, and some say he sleeps around, but as long as he’s not hurting anyone. Also! He’s a dad! Bruce Wayne is a trusted person within the Foster Care over in Gotham. He takes in the extreme cases that would probably leave the kid with a bunch of trauma.
Well, with what I’ve heard about Gotham, he must have like a billion kids with just a bunch of trauma
Let’s see what I remember from research, cause I did not write anything down for this. His first ward was Richard Grayson, who goes by Dick, was taken in after he watched his whole family fall and die on the trapeze.
As I said before, Jason was brought into Mr. Wayne’s custody after the death of both his father and his step mother. His father’s death was unknown, and his step mother died from a drug overdose… in front of Jason.
Uhm- Tim Drake? His was more interesting to watch unfold because there’s a whole other multimillion almost billion dollar company that Tim’s parents owned, and there was a lot covered up by lawyers and stuff, but Tim ended up with the Waynes
Then there’s the only female in the place, Cassandra Wayne, she is selectively mute, and overly protected by her adoptive family, nothing was shared with the media about where she came from.
Damian Wayne is the only blood son to Bruce Wayne, he didn’t even know about the kid until… like last year? Two years ago? Again, not a lot that I remember.
And then there’s been rumors of him taking in another kid, but nothing for sure yet.
Jesus, Ryan take a breath, and go back to Jason, because now I’m hoping I believe your theories about him being alive cause what this family didn’t need is another death.
Look, Shane. I’m going to be straight with you here. There are three possible theories I think could be plausible. So let’s jump right into them.
-
Theory one, is that Jason Todd is alive and in hiding from The Joker. This is the second most popular idea, and one I hope is true. There really isn’t anything else to this theory, besides a picture of someone that looks a little like Jason in the middle of Asia.
Doppelgänger, probably. Lemme see. I don’t know… this kinda looks like someone edited it.
Yeah, like it looks really distorted. I don’t know if I think it’s real, but it’s what people online were talking about.
Crazy, that people online would doctor fake photos of a kid who had died.
Exactly, which is why people think he’s alive, cause who would do that?
—
Theory two is that Jason Todd died as his family said he did, looking for his birth mother. Apparently he was in the Middle East, found his mother, but then both were found dead in an explosion caused by the Joker.
So the Joker, who is Gotham’s Prince of Crime, was somehow in the Middle East? I don’t buy it
I didn’t either, until I looked just a little deeper, and found that the next week Superman and Batman stopped the Joker from murdering the United Nations. So he was in the area.
Oh my god. If.. I know on this show I try to goof off, but it’s hard when it’s a kid. How old was Jason?
Only 15. He just got back into the swing of things at school, getting all A’s, he was in the Drama program and the Poetry club. If you scroll down a on Dick Grayson’s Instagram you can find a selfie of Dick and Jason, Jason being in his school uniform only a week before he died. The two seemed to be really close, with how much Grayson posted of the two of them, and then it was radio silence from the man until a year after Jason’s death, where he made a memorial post, along with Bruce Wayne, who made the Jason Peter Todd Memorial Foundation, which helps families in Crime Alley.
Look, not okay with the kid dying, but it makes me kinda smile to see that his family got together to do something like this in his name.
I don’t think you understand the length of what this fund does. It provides special housing for single mothers, has opened up two clinics that help with drug abuse and addiction, and keeps kids in warm clothes and in school.
That’s- wow. Okay, you are making this “he’s dead” thing seem like it’s the only thing that happened.
Well, theory 3, is that he died-
Wait what?
He died, and came back to life.
This, I think, is worse than you saying ghosts are real.
We live in a world where someone can run at the speed of light! Yet you draw the line at ghosts and maybe hopefully someone who isn’t dead.
Yeah, but that’s science. Okay whatever where’s the proof of him being alive.
Okay, looking at the timeline. Jason Todd died at 15, in 2015. And the Wayne’s kinda were quiet for a year and a half, besides the foundation they set up, even with Tim, nothing really new was happening.
And then things seemed to go back to normal, they all frequented gala’s again, and all the other social stuff they did-
Yeah, nice choice of wording there
Shut up, anyways, in 2018 a picture appears, not even the front page, of Dick Grayson walking and laughing with someone who looks a lot like if Jason Todd grew up for a few years, and then decided to dye his hair.
Listen, Ryan. People have doppelgängers. We just saw the other picture and it’s clearly fake- Jesus Christ that looks exactly like Jason.
Exactly! And I started looking around more, finding pictures of the Wayne family around Gotham from news sites, and every once in a while, that guy pops up. Never in the picture, but always somewhere in the background like he wasn’t wanting to be seen. Like i mentioned in the beginning, there was a picture from a week ago that looks exactly like him.
Wait, is this a theory from the internet or something you came up with?
Both, kind of? I saw someone make a bad joke about it, and then it kinda stuck in my head as I looked for more information. Apparently there is a mythical pit that could bring someone from the dead.
Okay, yeah. Mythical revival pit. As if any living person wouldn’t be all over that.
Look man, that’s just the information I found. But I really really hope that Jason is alive somewhere safe, or resting peacefully.
The most believable for me is that he did pass away. But I’d love to be wrong.
That being said, I got really sad looking through all of Jason’s life, I felt like I was being more invasive than usual. So I talked with the crew and Buzzfeed, and we are donating all revenue from this video to the Jason Memorial fund in Gotham.
But the mystery of Jason Todd, still remains….
Unsolved
#writing whip#shane and ryan#ryan bergara#shane medej#buzzfeed unsolved#buzzfeed unsolved au#batman#jason todd#red hood#dick grayson#ghoul boys#dc#dc comics#dc jason todd#lazarus pit
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Alright Book Lovers
I have a series recommendation for all of you.
If you like:
- Second World fantasy (as in, not our world)
- Magic
- Edwardian/Victorian aesthetics
- Complex stories that will have you cracking out the Red String Board
- Canonically/explicitly Queer characters (including Shield Lesbians, Ace detectives, Bisexual retired spies, healthy polyamorous relationships involving 7 or more people, and even trans characters!)
- So many female characters that one of the books even fails the Reverse Bechdel Test
- a wide array of sub-genres
Then may I present to you,
The Maradaine Saga
The Maradaine Saga is 14 core books that take place in the city of Maradaine, plus two novellas and one full length novel taking place in other parts of the same world. AND COUNTING (this series is still ongoing!)
The core 14 books contain Four main casts and their respective genres:
The Thorn of Dentonhill stars Veranix Calbert, magic student by day, vigilante hero by night, determined to rid his neighbourhood of efitte, the toxic drug sold by crime lord Willem Fenmere, who killed Veranix's father, and deliberately overdosed his mother. Aided by Kaiana, whose father also succumbed to efitte, and Delmin, his fellow magic student, and his cousin Colin, the street gang member.
A Murder of Mages follows Minox Welling, an inspector for the Maradaine Constabulary, a genius, if socially awkward, and considered a jinx around the station, because he is secretly an untrained mage. Assigned to be his partner is Satrine Rainey, mother of two, struggling to make ends meet with her husband who was gravely injured in the line of duty. Formerly of Druth Intelligence, she is 15 years out from her time as a spy, and forges her paperwork to get the only job she can do that will pay the bills- becoming the first woman inspector on the force.
The Holver Alley Crew- when Holver Alley goes up in flames, killing dozens of people and destroying the homes and businesses of many more, brothers Asti and Verci Rynax discover it was arson, and are determined to use their skills as thieves to track down who destroyed their neighbourhood. Asti, a former spy for Druth Intelligence, retired because of his recent escape from an enemy prison where he was tortured until it broke his mind, and Verci, husband and father and inventor of all sorts of gadgets. Recruiting old friends and new, they set to perform daring heists to make the arsonists pay.
The Way of the Shield- Dayne Heldrin is easy to spot in a crowd- towering at 7ft tall, and in his blue Tarian Uniform- he is a veritable Knight of the Modern era. He is a candidate in the Tarian order, a historic organization upholding values of Chivalry and Defending the Innocent, Shield on arm. He has just returned from being overseas, where his mentor was killed by the Gearbox Killer, a maniacal murderer who builds elaborate clockwork contraptions, designed to kill. Dayne barely survived, and his advancement to an Adept Tarian is in doubt. He befriends a young Initiate, Jerinne, and begins to mentor her, pushing her to be stronger, and uphold the values of the Tarians. Political Conspiracy is afoot, however, as a shadowy organization has fashioned themselves after the Grand 10, ten historic figures that helped turn the country of Druthal into what it is today.
All of these books take place in the same city, at the same time, and as the series goes on, recurring characters and crossovers begin to appear as these ragtag bunch of do-gooders find allies in each other.
I cannot stop talking about this series, its so good! The worldbuilding is immaculate (after all, the author, Marshall Ryan Maresca, is one of the hosts of the podcast Worldbuilding for Masochists), the pacing will keep you gripping your seat for dear life!
#maradaine saga#maradaine#marshall ryan maresca#holver alley crew#thorn of dentonhill#murder of mages#way of the shield#worldbuilding for masochists podcast#wfm podcast#books#reading#book reccomendation#book recc
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Also, this is a new thing I want to try. About 2 years ago I did this thing called "podofthemorning" where I reviewed a new podcast everyday on Twitter. I met some pretty cool people that way and it also allowed me to hear a lot more shows than I would have other wise. I want to do that here more often cause it was a fun time. And I think I'm going to start that back up with the first episode of Finding Pattersby.
I have been waiting for @patterspod to hit my feed for the longest of times so now that it is finally here I am more than ready!
(Click Keep Reading For The Reactions. I don't want to spoil)
00:00- I do love a screwball comedy. Not to mention blue humor!
00:15- Here's the website he mentioned https://www.patterspod.com/
00:39- Sandra Bullock is worth going to jail for. I will stand on that 212%
01:39- Don't worry, Doc. Academia could break the best of us.
01:53- Covered head to toe in paper cuts sounds like one of the most horrific and childish tortures one could imagine.
03:00- I enjoy the way the show is trailing between the different scenes/scenarios. It's very liquid and airy and I appreciate that it is more suggestive than strongly structured.
04:24- I don't know what it says about his character, but Ryan's apparent fascination and appreciation of late 90s and early 20s Hollywood actresses (Bullock, Zellweger) is charming to me because it's quirky in the way that real people are odd.
06:08- I hope they wave back to you, buddy. I hope they wave back.
06:51- Okay, so I'm getting a very John Grisham kind of vibe from Luke Pattersby. (If you haven't read any Grisham I'd recommend The Firm or The Pelican Brief which are Grisham at his best.)
08:10- Again on these scene transitions, I think it's the underscoring that's really doing the work here. It provides an atmosphere and thus when it changes the atmosphere changes. It's functioning more on the audience's general impressions rather than establishing a more concrete space. I think it's a great tool/form to use for some shows.
08:11- Big "Miles Braun in Knives Out 2: The Glass Onion" energy.
08:43- This is random but I would like to know, do you call it sublock or sunscreen? Do you call it something else? I'm a "sunscreen" girl, myself.
10:40- The dissonance in the underscoring juxtaposed with the light and airy synths is interesting. It's both dreamy and very uncomfortable. Definitely helps with the tense atmosphere of the scene.
12:28- Say it, Ryan! Don't let the bastards get you down!
15:06- It's a conspiracy! And anti-Ryan conspiracy! Justice for the ghost!
16:32- YES RYAN! IT'S CALLED THEFT AND FRAUD!
17:20- Luke Pattersby will pay for his crimes against Ryan (a man who is innocent of everything accept being a dolphin lover and an appreciate of 50 year old actresses.)
18:11- And actually that state had an even deeper state and inside that state was a box and inside that box was a flea but, what's that? That flea has its own box, inside of which is a string! And if you pull that string you see?! DUN DUN DUN a picture of Spongebob at the Christmas party. Diabolical.
20:24- Now why are the Irish in it? They've done nothing but have a good time and fight for their freedom.
21:00- These are some great stakes. They are well set up and very clear. Just some clean writing for which I have a professional admiration.
And that was Chapter 1 Part 1. I am going to do a separate post for Chapter 1 Part 2 and I will likely continue to do these for the rest of the series.
#finding pattersby#audio drama#audio fiction#fiction podcast#mystery#mystery podcast#liveblog#wgc liveblog#podcast recommendations#Spotify
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The Daily Dad — 2024-04-01
Things you might want to know:
Playboy image from 1972 gets ban from IEEE computer journals
❝ Use of "Lenna" image in computer image processing research stretches back to the 1970s.
The T-Mobile Sidekick’s Jump button made mobile multitasking easy
💭 I always liked the Sidekick, but I ultimately settled on a Palm Treo… the app ecosystem was solid on PalmOS. Of course, it took about six months for iPhoneOS to surpass it, so there wasn’t as much difference as I thought in the moment.
The Walking Dead is building to something — but it’s not clear what
❝ Is the future of The Walking Dead… The Walking Dead divided into three shows?
Ryan Williams Mindbreaking BMX Free Willy
❝ Ryan Williams is an Australian scooter and BMX rider who does wild tricks that make me nervous. In 2013 he perfected a back flip w
Lawsuit from Elon Musk’s X against anti-hate speech group dismissed by US judge
💭 Knowing that Elon doesn’t even notice the cost of his frivolity takes away any satisfaction in his frequent legal losses.
The Facebook 'Poke' is being revived by Gen Z
💭 What the hell, Gen Z? You’ll just unironically click anything out of boredom, won’t you? What’s next? Will we go back to hazzing cheezburgers, only this time the photos will all be AI-generated pictures of animals actually having cheeseburgers?
'App Lock' lets you protect and hide any app on your iPhone
❝ iOS provides developers with an API to lock apps with Face ID or Touch ID. However, not every app has...
Stephen Bear to pay £27k over illegal sex tape of Georgia Harrison
❝ The 34-year-old is told to pay back the money he made from illegally sharing sexual footage.
Yellowstone actor "kicked off" plane because he didn’t want to sit next to masked passenger
💭 Is there anyone on Yellowstone who isn’t an asshole?
A Marijuana Boom Led Her to Oklahoma. Then Anti-Drug Agents Seized Her Money and Raided Her Home.
❝ A year after authorities arrested Qiu He, the Chinese immigrant has yet to be charged with a crime. She and others say anti-Asian bias plays a role in the state’s crackdown on the pot industry: “I don’t feel secure here.”
How Ethan Coen and Tricia Cooke's Queer, Non-Traditional Marriage Inspired 'Drive-Away Dolls'
❝ “Being married to Ethan and being queer, there’s always a little disconnect sometimes,” Cooke said in a recent interview.
The creators of 3 Body Problem want to have ‘a back and forth’ with the book
💭 That’s a fun way to say “we didn’t know what to do with it, so we ‘fixed’ it.”
A Deepfake Nude Generator Reveals a Chilling Look at Its Victims
❝ WIRED reporting uncovered a site that “nudifies” photos for a fee—and posts a feed appearing to show user uploads. They included photos of young girls and images seemingly taken of strangers.
A Lawyer Abandoned Family and Career to Follow the Voices in His Head - The Wall Street Journal
❝ Rob Dart took a fast track to the American dream until mental illness turned his brilliant mind against him.
Homeland Security reportedly raids Sean “Diddy” Combs’ houses in L.A. and Miami
❝ Combs has been hit with several lawsuits over the last few months
'Spermworld': Hulu Documentary Looks at Facebook Sperm Donors
❝ In Hulu documentary 'Spermworld,' director Lance Oppenheim looks at sperm donors and prospective parents using Facebook groups to connect.
Never-before-seen data wiper may have been used by Russia against Ukraine
❝ AcidRain, discovered in 2022, is tied to AcidPour. Both are attributed to Russia.
Jeffrey Jones' face might be in Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, but the rest of him isn't
❝ A rep for the Beetlejuice and Ferris Bueller actor, who was forced to register as a sex offender in 2003, confirmed that Jones does not appear in the film
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Not me resisting the urge to comment on Pitch Meeting's 3 year old video on Artemis Fowl because he opened it with a crack about how surfing isn't associated with being from Ireland when Ireland has a *HUGE* surfing culture and some Canadian dude not knowing that pissed me off
YOU DO *RESEARCH* FOR YOUR *DOOFY LITTLE COMEDY SKETCHES* ABOUT *HOW STUPID PITCHING CERTAIN POPULAR MOVIES MUST SOUND* GOOD SIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will make Ryan George pay for his crimes
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Okay. Okay guys hear me out please, I know I’ve already created a bunch other Au’s for MB but I’ve been think about this recently and I may explode if I into more detail.
Anwyas. So, basically it’s this cyberpunk setting, idk maybe the years 2130 or something. Sheriff is a bounty hunter, hunting down and occasionally eliminating criminals in order to earn some cash and pay off the loan he used to get a cybernetic arm and to keep himself and his brother (Ryan) somewhat financially stable.
Shooter is his partner in crime, his guy in the chair almost. He basically just helps with upgrading Sheriffs stuff and giving guidance and advice when the need for it arises.
Brutux is a criminal who on occasions, hires Sheriff to play assassin. He pays a good price for it though so Sheriff doesn’t mind a few stealth missions every now and again.
Vegan, BP and Dr. White are cops in this, they do not like Sheriff at all. In fact they are actively trying to arrest him, god knows he’s got enough crimes under his belt to be locked up. So yeah, they aren’t on friendly terms.
The general gist of the plot is that there’s a new enemy making themself known in the underground community (this would be Wart) and is said to be releasing these freaks of nature that are some weird mutant combination between various animals and even humans and cybernetic enhancements/materials. So yeah, Sheriff runs into these creatures first, tells Shooter about ‘em, cops eventually find out about them and unfortunately they kinda have to briefly join sides to eliminate their common enemy.
Idk guyz. Someone put me in a straitjacket to stop me from typing my ideas and Au’s. MB has randomly made its comeback in my life with another Au.
#aaaaaaaa#shit post#mutant busters#mutant busters au#*sigh* whipping out the Au tag again#MB cyberpunk AU#if that’s what it’s called now#I have design ideas already actually#SOMEONE STOP ME
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J is the lead of an upcoming Ryan Murphy show, of a very publicized crime case, so I think whether the show is good or bad, the general public is going to turn to look at him at least for a bit and when I tell you people are gonna star digging up his personal life...the whole facade will crash, people are going to realize there's something fishy about him getting with a girl he met while she was a minor.
The crazy thing is there's so much documented incriminating shit against J lol that literally came from Steven S and R's own mouth. During TBOSAS era some fans started to wake up around the optics of the whole "dating until she was 20" lie that R+J teams keep trying to sell us but I think not many people cared for too long as R is still seen with a negative light and J is literally unknown. Very selective outrage when it comes to R being a potential victim of grooming just because the age gap is not as extreme as Aaron T-J and the grandma
I just hope when the age gap discourse comes out with full force R stays away from the internet and says nothing that could potentially harm her image any further in order to defend a man who I'm sure will say nothing in her behalf. Can't believe there was 2 groomers on the WSS set, J is so lucky to still be perceived as a "nice guy", but tbh most of that perception is due to R heavy lifting him lmao
Absolutely! People were too busy hating R to see that she was a victim of not only misogyny but grooming! She had two groomers on set and J still follows Ansel despite everything. They started dating before she was 20 so that lie isn’t working.
And people are definitely going to be paying more attention to him when his next project drops and he’s prepare for it because he limited his IG comments. He knows what’s about to happen.
As for R, unfortunately, she might make a post to support him. I hope not but…
Also be prepared for them to publicly “break up” but privately date until the hate dies down. A classic PR stunt (J Elordi has done it with his current gf).
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My problems with true crime
Despite being only 3 episodes deep in the new Netflix Dahmer series, it already has me questioning the new wave of true crime media and the intentions of avid true crime consumers.
Being someone who has been interested in true crime for quite a few years, I found DAHMER - Monster: the Jeffrey Dahmer Story to be incredibly distressing. I have seen documentaries about it, so I know most of the case details, but this new portrayal is upsetting for many reasons.
Director, Ryan Murphy, claims to have created the show in order to "give victims a voice". This attempt has fallen flat on its face, for me. The idea of portraying victims as real humans who lived real lives was completely disregarded within the very first episode. In a scene where police officers are explaining to Dahmer's father what they had discovered in his apartment, they list off a whole host of gruesome items. This is done to make the audience uncomfortable, which completely contradicts the original intention of the show. Murphy reduces the victims to dismembered body parts for shock value.
This is one of many issues I have with the series. Murphy wants to seem sincere in his efforts to pay respects to the victims and their families. But can you really be respectful when you're recreating scenes of some of the worst trauma imaginable in the name of 'entertainment'? I have no affiliation with any victim or family involved in the case, but I found the series deeply harrowing, so I cannot imagine how the victim's families feel, seeing another portrayal of their relative having their life torn away from them.
Putting the ethics of the director aside, I'd like to comment on audience reactions. I've seen a flood of memes and TikToks being made about the series, attempting to make the topic seem more light-hearted, which I feel is inherently tone-deaf. People who have no association with victims or their families feel entitled to make the subject matter a little easier and fun to talk about. Not everything needs to be made more comfortable to talk about, especially not the murder of multiple men.
One more thing I have noticed on social media is flexing. People bragging about how they were not phased by seeing young, mainly people of colour, being horrifically murdered. One TikToker made a video saying 'when you watch the Jeffrey Dahmer series without being grossed out' with the caption 'Honestly, I'd watch it again, I was hooked' with laughing-crying emojis. I can't be the only person mortified at that claim? How de-sensitised has true crime made us that we find brutal murders something to laugh about.
Maybe I am a snowflake, but this new series has really put the ethics of new-wave true crime into question. There have been countless adaptations of the Jeffrey Dahmer case, do we need any more, really? Who is it benefitting? It is surely not made for those who carry the trauma of having a loved one taken from them in the worst circumstances possible. New true crime no longer serves to educate or share the stories of victims. It satisfies the twisted curiosity that has been normalised and lines the pockets of content creators and film studios.
#dahmer netflix#true crime#evan peters#dahmer monster: the jeffrey dahmer story#ryan murphy#netflix#dahmer 2022
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Movie Review | Tunnel Rats (Boll, 2008)
One of the essential pieces of Uwe Boll trivia is that for a while there, he got his movies funded with the help of a German tax loophole that allowed investors to write off the entirety of their investment and only pay taxes if the movie showed a profit, or in layman's terms, more or less doing The Producers for real. This movie was made after that loophole had been closed (thanks to the attention he ended up drawing to it) and his movies had stopped getting wide releases in theatres, and shockingly, it looks and feels like a "real" movie made with some care. The more charitable read is that Boll's newfound financial realities re-energized him as a filmmaker. The less charitable read is that he did this with the same enthusiasm as Ruggero Deodato bringing out the cast of Cannibal Holocaust when he was put on trial for allegedly making a snuff film, and probably needed to prove he could actually make a "good" or potentially profitable movie. I do not know the contents of Boll's heart so I will refrain from speculating.
What I will say is that the relative polish results in an uncanny valley effect that does not work in the movie's favour. Because it looks and feels like a "real" movie, you start comparing it against other "real" movies and it can't help but come up short. Boll cycles through a host of Vietnam war movie cliches, and while cliches are cliches for a reason, he isn't able to breathe any new life into them. The first half is just an endless parade of characters pouring their hearts out about life back home or telling others to shut up in response, with most of the interest coming from guessing who's gonna get KIA'd later in the movie. It also doesn't help that many of the cast members look like more famous actors that you wish were in the movie instead. There's knockoff Michael Biehn, knockoff Anthony Mackie, knockoff Casey Affleck. The only one who makes an impression is Michael Pare, doing a pretty good Tom Berenger impression as he commits a war crime in the opening scene, punches it out with a subordinate who disagrees, and then goes on about all the shit you have to do in war to survive. I will say that Boll deserves some props for trying to humanize the Vietnamese, even if he does so by arguably mimicking the same G.I. cliches.
Things do get better in the second half when Boll springs Viet Cong attacks on our boys, if only for the sheer level of violence. Boll is obviously taking after other war and action movies from the era, but unlike Saving Private Ryan or Rambo, his action scenes feel rather shapeless instead of chaotic and frenetic. That being said, there's some pretty nice gore in this courtesy of Olaf Ittenbach, and you kinda wish it leaned further into pure exploitation instead of trying to be a legit war movie. I should also note that Boll's usually shitty blocking is less of an issue here, as many of the scenes are either in tunnels where there isn't a lot of room to move around, or in the jungle, where the density of the trees limits the heroes' movement. And while the movie is shot with an unappealing desaturated high-contrast colour scheme and the tunnel scenes are often incomprehensible, Boll does manage some decent shot compositions.
So this is what it looks like when Boll tries. Boring as shit in the first half, sorta watchable in the second. Here's a participation medal.
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I feel like people don’t talk enough about how impressive it was and how well Evan played all those cult leaders. It’s crazy how he was able to pull that all together on such short notice (Ryan Murphy will pay for his crimes). It was hard for my brain to even register that it was him at some points especially with Jim Jones and the Heaven’s gate cult leader. He should have at least gotten an Emmy nomination for that season.
i agree, lord... that man was ROBBED of a nomination at the LEAST for a major award, after his work in cult.
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