Life Balance and the Feeling of Failure

For recovering perfectionists and "good kids", there is a struggle as we grow to be productive. To strive. To achieve. Even if it means sacrificing our own well-being to do it. Never works out that way, does it?

For recovering perfectionists and “good kids”, there is a struggle as we grow to be productive. To strive. To achieve. Even if it means sacrificing our own well-being to do it. We treat our lives and ourselves like machines to produce results, a means to an end and not like the living and growing beings we actually are. The temptation to stake our identity on success at these goals on a…

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After years of putting it off, I finally got my first cane.

Definitely having mixed feelings about it. I’m worried about judgement coming from people who have seen me move around without a cane, and people claiming that I’m faking a disability because I’m young.

At the same time it’s such a relief to have something that provides me with more stability while moving around. My left leg has gotten so weak and I’m constantly scared of falling after my leg has given out multiple times (once on a flight of stairs)

I’ve got great friends who are super supportive of me finally getting a mobility aid and are willing to fight anyone who looks at me funny, but it’s definitely going to get some taking used to.

Successfully swapped the beloathed task of beating the butter for a much cooler and visually appealing task of slicing the beet 🥰

I bought rwby arrowfell because I enjoy platform games and it was on sale. Never have I so fast wanted to beat my head into a wall while playing a game.

(cleaning up following. I need to start writing for.my Me, and not for anyone but Me(

a little experiment i’ve been working on in between commissions lately.... wanted to try my hand at a tarot card for my Hawke, using ‘the devil’ card as the (very loose) inspiration

I feel like one of the most important aspects of Life Series Grian’s character that gets missed sometimes is how integral his need for choice is, if he doesn’t feel like something is at least somewhat within his control, like he doesn’t have a say, he fights back against it regardless of any logic or history behind it. If he doesn’t get to outright choose his alliances or have a backup plan/trick for fights, he flounders, HARD. He’ll do what he has to to regain some control again. He will almost always choose survival over anything else he has in the games, since that’s the only thing he’s always able to depend on being his choice and his choice alone to choose. And if he chooses otherwise? It’s on his terms

almost every single year I have a major mental break that gets pretty much everyone in my life side-eyeing me for one reason or another.

these mental breaks come with a surprisingly level, calm and collected mood, but involve less-than-wise decisions such as moving to a different state, quitting my job without a new job on lock, et cetera.

for the first time in my life, I am 100% self-aware that this is what is happening to me and that it is a pattern. it's surreal. what am I fucking doing. why do I keep doing this

damn that was crazy i actually do feel better tho

fern

fern:   does your muse believe in magic or cosmic forces,   or are they more likely to think their life is ultimately a matter of their own control?  

naturally he's seen enough of magic and cosmic forces firsthand to know they exist and have influence, but as far as having control over his own life, he vacillates between the two so much i'm surprised his head doesn't spin off his shoulders. he accepts that fate or destiny or god might have a plan in store for him, but he also believes that even if they did, he went off the rails a long, long time ago all on his own. to his understanding, nothing greater than sheer fucking human arrogance and weakness could have landed him in newcastle, in ravenscar, in hell; no one opened up their planner and penciled in precise dates for him to ruin his relationships, fail his friends. nothing that matters in his life had to happen, as far as he believes. it just did.

and if it was all some plan? all thought out and lined up, john constantine called for corner pocket? FUCK EM. he refuses to be told what to do, how to live, how his life will go. if he ever found out that he's wrong, that there is some cosmic force out there pulling the strings, that god wrote the book of constantine in big block letters and sealed it away behind glass, he would make it his mission in life to tear up the playbook and burn the whole thing down. so many of his story arcs have been about wresting control back from someone trying to take it from him, and so many arcs in the future will be, too. regardless of whether there's a plan for him or not, he wants control over his own life. he will take it.

@n1atruc / BOTANICAL HEADCANONS ( always accepting )

On Fighting Imposter Syndrome

Be it in the context of one’s workplace or social life, imposter syndrome comes for everyone eventually. It is a deeply unpleasant maw filled with razor sharp teeth as thick as your wrist with one command on its lips: Feed me, and feed me NOW.

Daily writing promptWhat strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?View all responses There is a monster that creeps onto every adventurer’s path at one point or another. A monster so adept at its craft that it will convince the unwary that they are in fact the monster, and that the entity they are looking at is everything it appears to be. They also happen to be a personal favorite…

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it’s been a hellish last couple months dealing with being caught in the crossfire between incompetent rental car agency that is mad at me and incompetent car insurance company that didn’t tell me the person handling my claim fucking QUIT and MY CLAIM WENT FORGOTTEN FOR MONTHS and it still isn’t resolved in fact things have gotten worse and tbh, when i have major stressful setbacks in life, my body and brains’ response is to just. not. do anything. just shut down. intense fatigue, inability to focus on literally anything because the background level of stress is so high.

im supposed to be working on my patreon but this little man has consumed my LIFE

I finally started working on my master thesis today!📚

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idk where i’ve seen this post but it goes along the lines of “when i’m so obssessed with a blorbo from a show that every song i listen is about them” or something like that, but i lost this post before i could interact with it

and later i just thought “yea, that’s me with ‘torn in two’ by breaking benjamin and going ‘this, this is some eddie as kas the betrayer shit and maybe i could sprinkle some steddie in this’”