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babyghouly · 1 year

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I’ll Be Alright Without You

I’ll Be Alright Without You

Pair: Eddie Munson x GN!Reader; Eddie Munson x BestFriend!Reader

Genre: Angst, Heartache

Words: ~2k

Summary: You and Eddie have been best friends for a while now and you’ve recently realized something. You’re in love with him. The only issue? He’s in love with someone else and she is amazing. In an attempt to get over him, you decide to flee Indiana altogether. Of course you couldn’t leave so abruptly without letting your best friend know, so you confess everything to him.

Warnings: Cursing, Sadness, Heartache

Namesake: I’ll Be Alright Without You - Journey

Series: Part II; Part III; Part IV

Notes from Ghoul: OOO THERE’LL BE SOMEONE EEELSE, I KEEP TELLING MYYYYYSELF... wowee, look who is back and taking a complete 180 from her previous writings? THIS GAL! It’s been a while for good reason: I had zero motivation to write. But recently I’ve been feeling A LOT of feelings so I decided to take a crack at writing again and thus this fic was made. I honestly don’t know if I will get back into the swing of things, but I do have another unfinished fic that I’ve been meaning to finish sooooo.... we will see what happens there. I hope you enjoy it and please don't be afraid to reblog and let me know what you think 💖

Ghoul’s Masterlist

Tags: @staygoldwriting @akwzilla @creme-bruhlee @hellfire-wren @maitre-de-marionnettes

The morning air was still throughout the trailer park as Eddie's eyes slowly opened. He groaned when he looked at his alarm clock reading quarter to six, forty five minutes before he needs to be awake. Through the open window Eddie could hear a faint sound of tires crunching on the gravel outside.

A car? He thought, wondering if he was just hearing things.

It sounded like it was outside his house which was weird for this time of morning. Most people here were still working the night shift or fast asleep. The car didn't stay long because soon enough he heard a door open and shut one last time before driving off on the gravel road. Curious, Eddie turned his alarm clock off and got out of bed early.

The cool breeze from the window hit his bare skin sending a shiver throughout his body, but he didn't stop to put on a shirt or pants. He made his way onto the porch from the backdoor closest to his bedroom. Whoever was there is long gone and it didn't look like they left anything behind. Eddie shrugged, and made his way back to his room.

"G'Morning, Ed"

"Good Morning, sweetheart," Eddie leaned over the bed to give his fiancé, Janie, a kiss, "Sorry I woke you up so early, I didn't mean too"

"It's okay, I'll make it back to sleep just fine," Janie smirked, wrapping her arms around Eddie's pillow to cuddle it, "What was that about?"

"Oh nothing," Eddie said, grabbing some clothes from his dresser, "I thought I heard something outside, but there wasn't anything out there"

Janie nodded letting out a yawn while her eyes drifted back to sleep, "Have a good day at work, my love"

Eddie smiled, blowing a kiss her way before making his way to the bathroom. Once showered, he got together his breakfast, a cup of coffee with a piece of toast, and made his way to the porch to eat. Stepping onto the planks he felt something beneath him, something smooth. He looked down to find a stark white envelope with his name plastered on the front in cursive. Both intrigued and confused, he picked up the letter.

Y/N?

He recognized the handwriting and wondered why you left a letter instead of calling or just talking to him. Eddie made his way towards the couch outside and sat down. He sipped at his coffee before setting it down on the table beside him. Once settled on the couch, he wasted no time opening the note. As he did, a familiar scent tickled his nostrils ever so slightly, bringing a smile to his face as it reminded him of you; his best friend.

His fingers delicately pulled out the folded letter written on a single piece of lined paper. It looked like it was ripped out of your journal as it featured doodles in the top corner of each side. He could see smudges in the ink from where your hand brushed it before it dried as he flattened it out before he began to read:

My Eddie,

You mean the world to me, I know you know that. Never in my life did I think that the intimidating metalhead in my ninth grade science class would become my best and closest friend, but here we are eight years later. Those eight years were pretty rough for both of us, but overall they were the best years of my life. I couldn't imagine a better person to have by my side through it all.

How sweet Eddie smirked gleefully while brushing toast crumbs off him and reminiscing about the past.

Eight years of friendship sure was a rollercoaster, one of the biggest conflicts being Eddie's graduation. Since ninth grade, Eddie's been your only close friend at Hawkins High. Sure there were other friends you had, like Nancy, Robin, and Steve, but none of them were there for you like Eddie was. Being in the same grade, of course both of you planned to graduate as the class of '84 together. You had also convinced Eddie to go to prom with you after he told you a thousands times that he wouldn't be caught dead at prom.

Things seemed to be going well until the last couple weeks leading up to graduation. Eddie didn't pass a couple of his classes and ended up flunking, leaving you to graduate without him. To top it all off, Principal Higgins didn't allow him to go to the prom at all given his track record and recent flunking. Eddie knew he fucked up big time. He knew how excited you were to go to prom with him and he ruined that for you. That incident alone had Eddie fearful that this was the end of your friendship. That you'd choose to get out of town as fast as you could come graduation. But you didn't. You stayed in this deadbeat town and for who other than Eddie himself.

When it came to Eddie, there was a feeling different than any other friendship you've had before. Of course you were disappointed with him after hearing the news, but you've seen him through pretty much every other downfall in his life. At the end of the day you loved Eddie more than anything and something in you told you to stay and take care of him and so you did. It took him two more grueling attempts at twelfth grade before he graduated, but he finally did it. With the help of you, of course. Two years later and he is still thanking you for it when he can.

Eddie snapped back into reality and took a gulp of his coffee, continuing to read the letter.

There's just something that I've been meaning to tell you though. It's been on my mind a while, I never really knew how to bring it up, but I guess I have to now so here it goes:

I'm in love with you Ed.

Eddie's eyes widened and he choked on the coffee he was drinking. He reread the sentence a couple times, in denial of what it said. Once he collected himself he carried on reading.

I think it's been there a while cause I've pretty much always had a crush on you. I just didn't realize until recently that that's what it was. Things got real for me when you introduced me to Janie. I felt this overwhelming jealousy and hurt because I wanted it to be me. I hated myself for it, but I was able to hide it away pretty well. So well I convinced myself I was over you. When I heard you two were engaged, that jealousy and hurt hit me like a tidal wave all over again. From then on, every time you mentioned her, the lingering feelings would flare up. I don't like feeling that way about someone my best friend adores. I'm tired of it, Ed. I'm tired of wishing it were me with you instead of her. I'm tired of being sad over someone that makes you so happy.

Eddie was shocked to say the least. He'd always been oblivious to people's feelings, even his own sometimes. He's lucky he met someone like Janie, a real firecracker who wasted no time romancing Eddie and telling him exactly how she felt about him. She's really helped shape the man he grew to be. Since they've been together, you've noticed he's become more empathetic, though he still lacks it sometimes. Overall, you're not surprised he fell so head over heels for her, she’s amazing.

There was still more in the letter so Eddie continued.

I bring all this up because I've done a lot of thinking lately. I know I can't change how you feel, but I can't change how I feel either. Normally I would just let myself suffer in silence, but I can't anymore. I am tired of holding back my feelings for you, it's doing me no good. In all this thinking, I realized that I spent so much time taking care of you and making sure you were okay that I forgot about myself. What I wanted to do with my life, where I wanted to be, what I wanted to achieve… which is why I've decided to start college. Fall semester is starting soon. I'm all packed up and moving out of state. By the time you're reading this, I'm already long gone so there's no use in coming after me. I will miss you so much though.

I'll miss you more

But lastly, I want to wish you all the best for your future with Janie. I'm sorry I'm not ready to be a part of that just yet. I feel like such a terrible friend.

Love Always,

Your Best Friend, Y/N

Bullshit, Eddie thought, a tear hitting the page below and ruining some of the lettering on it, You're not terrible

There was one more thing written after the letter's close.

P.S. Don't think for one second I'd ever forget about you while I'm away, Edward Munson. I could never forget my best friend and my first true love.

Eddie doesn't usually cry, but this was his one exception. The sun was just beginning to rise as he stared down at the paper that changed his world just like that. He felt his heart sink, realizing all that you've suffered alone. He didn't want to lose his best friend like this, but he knew you were making the right decision for yourself.

-------------------------------------------------

In the car, you were nervously twiddling your thumbs in the passenger seat of your friend Steve's car. When you told your friends you were thinking of going to college, Nancy wasted no time to help you find a suitable college for you. You settled on one far away from Hawkins, not purposefully but it sure is convenient. Not so convenient for Steve and Robin, who agreed to help you move before you even picked a campus.

"I don't mean to pry," Steve turned down the radio to his car, "but now that it's just us... what sparked the sudden change? Didn't you graduated high school like four years ago?"

You sighed, staring blankly out the window watching as all the cars passed each other on the highway, "Someone…. someone I couldn't have"

"Heartbreak," Steve nodded, "that can do it to you." This earned a chuckle from Robin in the backseat.

"Yeah," You turned your body towards Steve and Robin to relieve the discomfort that was building from sitting in a car for too long, "I fell in love with a guy that thought he didn't deserve shit, but…"

Tears started to well in your eyes. Robin noticed and attempted to console you, "Y-You don't have to continue if you don't want to"

"Thanks Robin," the corner of your mouth lifted upward, "but it's better if I get it out now before I'm all alone in my dorm. I'm trying to let go, not hang on."

Robin smiled and gave you a supportive nod to continue.

"He thought he deserved shit, but I was so set on giving him the life I knew he deserved," You took in a deep breath and let go slowly before continuing, "But what about me? I wanted to go to college, but I didn't because of Eddie"

Both Robin and Steve's eyes widened in shock at your confession. They didn't realize your feelings were for Eddie, your best friend.

"He really thought he couldn't do it," You continued, "but I convinced him to do it not once, but twice. And now look at him"

"He finally graduated!" Robin answered enthusiastically.

"Yes," You chewed at your bottom lip, holding back a smile, "And when he did, I saw his life change for the better. He stopped dealing drugs, he got a job, he expanded Hellfire club outside of Hawkins High, I even hear he is wanting to move out of Hawkins too. He is truly happier than ever. It makes my heart so warm... a-and my heart is like a brick of ice"

You paused to collect yourself, holding back the tears you thought you were finished with.

"I just feel so stupid for letting my feelings get so out of control," You admitted, shaking your head lowly, "I was just too enticed by what could have been, I don't know why though. He has someone else."

"We can't control what we think or how we feel," Steve began, looking over to you, "That includes you too, unfortunately."

You sighed harshly, "That's true"

"But I think you're doing the right thing," Steve continued passionately, "Getting out of the shithole that is Hawkins, doing something for yourself for a change. Don't you feel empowered?"

Robin made a confused face before looking over at Steve, "Since when did you get all motivational, Stevie-boy?"

"I've been through heartbreak y'know!"

"Yeah, no doi," Robin playfully slapped his shoulder, "It's just weird seeing you like that"

"I'm trying to help!"

"And you have, thanks Steve." You smiled, "you too Robin"

"Now turn the radio on, please," Robin pleaded dramatically, "No more sappy shit"

Steve listened to her and turned the volume dial up just in time.

♫ I do these things,

it's all because of you

I'll keep holding on, but I'll try,

try not to think of you

Love don't leave me lonely ♫

You all recognized the song and thought it was fitting given your current situation. Of course you guys had to turn it up louder and sing along.

♫ I'll be alright with you,

There'll be someone else, I keep telling myself

I'll be alright without you,

Love's an empty face, I can't replace ♫

In that moment you felt a weight lift off your shoulder; for the first time throughout this whole ordeal you finally felt optimistic for the future. Even with that though, part of you still ached. This time, however, you knew things would only get better, not worse.

- END -

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azurefishnets · 10 months

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Maelstrom

As always, I adore our looovely mod, dearest @laughingmango, not only for coordinating and running Ghost Swap for TEN YEARS over at @fyeahghosttrick (Can't wait for many more in its new format! Ghost Swap is dead, long live Ghost Swap!!) but also for being a delightful co-conspirator & friend. A request for hurt/comfort mixed with cosmic pessimism power couple? Let me just...slip this in here....

You can read the fic at the link above, or the full text is below!

AO3 Profile Fandom: Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective Words: 2522

Summary: In the weeks after the Temsik incident, Cabanela is pressed into service as mediator and somewhat reluctant liaison between his two old friends. The maelstrom of their misunderstanding and regret is beginning to spiral too deeply for even one seasoned navigator to deal with; thank goodness he has someone to keep him informed even when he doesn't know it.

The front door hung open a crack, the house inside dark and quiet. Cabanela had bounded up the front steps, hand out to knock a sprightly rhythm on the door until he’d realized it was open, and put the hand on his hidden holster instead as he pushed the door open just an oonch more, just enough so he could slip in.

The living room stood empty, lights turned off. Cabanela stopped in the middle of the room, listening hard. Was that a radio playing softly, upstairs? Or a music box? Just in case he was missing something, he peeked into the kitchen and stopped, stricken. Jowd sat at the kitchen table, alone in the dark, one hand laid atop the family’s new kitten who was lay still on the table, the other equally absently stroking his miraculously-quickly healed knee. He didn’t look up, although a bitter twist of his lips acknowledged Cabanela’s entrance.

“What’s happenin’ here?” Cabanela said, leaning against the kitchen doorframe and flipping on the light, letting his frank, admiring gaze travel from Jowd’s head to feet. “You tryin’ to save on the electric bill, baby? Didn’t think things were so hard up here in the big house.”

Jowd snorted. “Appreciate the concern, thanks. Sorry your welcome’s a little lacking; the lady of the house is indisposed.”

“Hmm? Alma’s sick?” Cabanela ticked off a list on his fingers. “Babysitter, flowers, cold pack, juice. Oatmeal? Need anything eeelse from the store? I’ll run out there if you need; can’t have our baby feelin’ poorly when you just came home from the hospital.”

“She’s not sick.” Jowd turned his head away. “Just… indisposed. Kamila’s with my mother, so no babysitter needed. Flowers aren’t a bad idea, but…well. Might be better coming from you at the moment.”

“Huuuh?” Cabanela craned his neck back at the stairs. “Is she here then?”

“Upstairs.” Jowd chuckled a little, his voice bitter. “It’s my fault. She said she needed some time to herself.”

“Jowd?” Cabanela’s voice wasn’t uncertain; nothing of the sort. “Why was the front door open?”

Jowd shrugged. “Sissel must have left it open. He’ll get a good talking-to when he’s back.”

Cabanela sent the clearly-present kitten a pointed look. “Thooought he was an indoor-only kitten now? Livin’ the good life here at his new home.”

“Ha!” Jowd chuckled a little more. “There’s another problem. The good life.”

Cabanela put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re bein’ real opaque right now, even for you, m’man. What’s goin’ on?”

“I’m being the only way I know how to be.” Jowd stood and stretched, ignoring Cabanela’s hand. “I suppose I can try pretending to be Alma for a minute or five. Tea? Coffee? Wine?”

“How about you play at bein’ Jowd a bit more, but a biiit more forthcomin’?”

“Now what kind of precedent would that set? You’re a detective, you should practice your deducting skills.”

“Believe me, ooold friend, you have me workin’ overtime on that little mystery. But fine. Talkin’ to your looovely wife it is. Interviewin’ witnesses is a fine art and they tell me I’m still good at it, even if I still need practice at questionin’ my suspects.”

“Well, as long as your gun’s still by your side, your record’s back on track.”

“Ouch, baby.” Cabanela’s voice didn’t change, not by an iota, and his face stayed tranquil, but a nearly imperceptible shift of his posture betrayed the hit. “Good one.”

“I’m sorry.” Jowd’s voice was sincere, almost painfully so. He nodded at the spot on the wall where an antique gun had hung until he’d come home from the hospital the week prior. “You can see how my own track record stands. We’re standing at one and zero between the two of us. Don’t worry, you’re winning.”

Cabanela scowled at the wall, then at Jowd as Jowd sat back down and turned his stare back to the kitten, his face morose and eyes shuttered. Cabanela glared at him a moment more and whirled, taking the stairs up with a little less grace than usual, and followed the soft tinkling of the music box to the nursery, where Alma sat in the rocking chair. She glared at the wooden music box in her hands, letting the small melody it played ring out over and over.

“Oh. Hello,” she said, when she caught sight of Cabanela, and smiled. Her whole face had always seemed to light from the inside when she smiled, and Cabanela took his usual beat to let her see his admiration. But her light seemed dim and flickering, and her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Did you see Jowd downstairs?”

“Of course. And the front door was open too, baby. Little dangerous, isn’t it?”

“Apparently not!” Alma’s lips twisted. “According to him, we’re going to be just fine whether the door’s open, closed, gone… perhaps he’s right. Maybe it just doesn’t matter. After all, we have a cat now. Whatever that means.”

Cabanela dropped to his knees and gently took the music box away from her, setting it aside before taking her hand. “Baby, you’re streeetched to the breakin’ point. What’s goin’ on between you two?”

“I don’t know!” Alma burst out, and withdrew her hand from his, putting it along with her other one firmly in her lap. “You’ve seen him! He’s not the Jowd I knew anymore, somehow. Between one day and the next he’s gone somewhere I can’t seem to get to.”

“Caaan’t?” Cabanela stared at Alma.

“Can’t.” Alma said with finality. “I always could before. I always, always knew who he was and how he thought before. But now he acts… He hardly touches me, but he stares at me all the time when he thinks I’m not looking. He can barely look at Kamila. He handed me this—” she gestured to the music box, “and told me to put that gun on the wall in it so he could throw it away. But... why this? I have a shoe box, or anything other then…that.” The music box tinkled to a stop, its faltering notes dying to a final hush. “He acts like a ghost,” she said finally. “Like he’s a ghost in his own home.”

“A ghost, huh?” Cabanela sat back on his heels. “That sounds about right. He’s just been driftin’ since that day at the park. People at the precinct are startin’ to notice.”

“I must have done something,” Alma said, her words leaden in the abyssal silence between them. “It must be my fault, somehow. Maybe… maybe it’s me that’s more like a ghost. Why else would he act as though I’m not even here?”

“Baby, how on earth could it be your fault?” Cabanela took her hand again, more firmly this time, not letting it go even as she tried to tug it away. “You answer me that. You’re both so focused on takin’ the blame for somethin’ that shouldn’t have had anythin’ to do with you.”

“Well.” Alma’s stubborn gaze met his. “He won’t talk to me. At least you’ve told me what you know happened that day at the park. Whatever guilt you’re taking on, at least you’re owning it! I don’t really understand what happened with that programmer, but he’s in jail, and Jowd acts like he is too, and I’m his warden. I don’t need him to confess—”

“Wouldn’t miiind it though,” Cabanela muttered.

“I just need him to tell me what I can do to make it—us— right. I don’t mind the cat. I don’t mind taking down the gun. I don’t even care about the stupid music box. But I can’t fix anything if he doesn’t…just tell me what’s happening.”

Cabanela shrugged. “You don’t haaave to fix what’s not your problem.”

“But it is my problem. Or I am the problem. Either way,” Alma said with a wry twist of her lips, “I don’t see anyone else stepping in.”

“I came as soon as I could,” Cabanela said, stung, “Anytime you call, I’m comin’ for you. You know I’d give you my heart’s blood to make things right between you.”

One side of Alma’s mouth lifted in an odd little smile. “Would you?” She drew back a little and put a hand to his chin, tilting his head so he had to look directly into her eyes. She stared into his soul, searching for something he refused to believe she sought and dared not show her as she said again, “Would you really?”

“Of cooourse. As long as I’m kickin’. Now come on, I’m cuttin’ in to this little dance.” Cabanela stood, drawing her up, out of the chair, and with him as he danced down the stairs. He kicked the forgotten front door closed, then took her hand and danced her into the kitchen, surprising Jowd into laughter as Cabanela whirled Alma around the table until she, reluctantly at first, started to giggle. Finally, he took Jowd’s hand too and put Alma’s hand in it. “Your turn, baby.”

The kitchen went still and quiet again and they looked away from each other. Cabanela let out a huff of irritation.

“Deal me the deal, man,” he said to Jowd. “You caaalled me here, you must have wanted somethin’.”

Jowd sent him an odd look. “I didn’t… I really can’t want anything from you at this point. I can only thank you,” he said, finally. “You’ve given up a lot for me, but I can’t explain how much I owe you. Not… now.”

“Why not?” Alma said, grabbing Cabanela’s hand with her free one. “Something tells me you need Cabanela here; you need to talk to him to let this thing that’s weighing you down go. I don’t know why talking to me is so difficult now, but I’ll take any help if it brings you back to me. To us.”

Jowd said, his face betraying painful bewilderment, “But I came back. And you’ve seen, in the last couple weeks… I’m not who I was. I don’t know anymore how to be more than this.”

“Help me understand who it is you want to be, then!” Alma snapped. “No one died! You were hurt but you’ve healed so fast it’s unbelievable! That little girl is safe, and even that man who took her hostage wasn’t killed even though by all rights he should have been. Am I asking too much to want the man I love to be here, with me?” Alma said, stricken. “Or is it that I amtoo much?”

Cabanela watched them, seeing their mutual spiral into despair threatening to swallow them into its oceanic maw, and him along with it. Abruptly, he decided it was enough. He slapped a hand on the table. They both jumped and looked at him questioningly.

“You two stop actin’ just like each other for fiiive whole minutes and answer me an honest question. Can you do that?” he said.

“Probably,” said Jowd, as Alma said, “Yes?” Her eyes were oddly expectant.

“Why aren’t you two workin’ together at makin’ your old friend here more miserable? Seems to me you’d do a better job of messin’ with me instead of each other if you coordinated a bit more, maybe made some plans. As a prank this is lackin’ somethin’.”

“What?” Jowd said and frowned. “This had nothing to do with you.”

“We weren’t even expecting you,” Alma added, and sighed in some unexplained disappointment with the tack Cabanela had chosen. “Or at least, I wasn’t. I’m so sorry. If Jowd invited you, he didn’t tell me…” She paused and added, “…which is no different than usual, lately.”

“I thought you invited him,” Jowd said to her. She shook her head and shrugged.

“I got a phone call from your number,” Cabanela said, “and came straight on over because nobody was talkin’! When I found that door open, you should have heard my poor old heart goin’ pitter-pat with worry. Why take my heart’s blood when you two are the ooonly ones who could scare it into stoppin’? So if this is a prank, ‘fess up; your daughter couldn’t have done it and this little fellow snoozin’ on the table seems out for the count.”

“Oh, he’s counting on something,” Jowd said, and laughed when they looked at him with exasperation. “I’m trying,” he said, and paused. For the first time, he appeared uncomfortable. “I…need more time. There can’t be too much, ever, from either of you,” he added, and looked to Cabanela. “I promise there’s no conspiracy, no prank, no pact with Alma to mess with you,” he said, “but… I’m glad you came, even though I didn’t plan it. Perhaps Si— the gods just knew I needed—” he stopped. “Proof,” he finished, rather uncomfortably.

“Of what, baby?” Cabanela said, puzzled.

Jowd didn’t answer; he shrugged.

“If it’s loyalty, I would think you’d know you had that already,” Alma said with a tart twist of her lips. “Or were you worried about his safety?”

“Ha! The gods and I know that loyalty and your safety is the last thing I’d worry about for either of you at this point,” Jowd said without hesitation. Cabanela looked surprised, then gratified, and Alma sent him a sidelong smile and a nod.

“Thank goodness,” she said. “If you thought either of us would ever just… ghost you, just leave you without any explanation, and that was the reason you wouldn’t just talk to us, it would be a sign that it really was all over.”

“It was! And then it started again,” Jowd said, and began to laugh until the kitchen rang with it.

“Oh, well, is that all? Well, no wonder we’ve been struggling,” Alma said, and began to chuckle too. Just like that, the tension eased despite the palpable tinge of some irony not everyone in the conversation was quite getting, and they sat around the kitchen table laughing together. The conversation really didn’t feel over, but for now it had come to a stop and it seemed a better resting place than any other alternative which had presented itself.

Cabanela had to admit, if only to himself, he had no idea how to get the rest of the truth out of Jowd yet, but it was still the beginning of something he hadn’t quite dared to believe could be possible after the Temsik incident: some kind of a fresh start. He took comfort in that, and in the feel of Jowd’s warm arm around him, in the cool slide of Alma’s arm against his, and allowed himself, as he would with no other pair, to laugh himself into some kind of uncertain and temporary peace.

Almost unnoticed, the kitten sat up in the middle of all this hilarity and wandered away, its nap evidently over; presumably, Cabanela figured as he barely registered it leaving, the noise bothered it and it had other tasks for the evening which only a cat might understand. Silently, he wished it luck along with a little bit of fellow feeling; he, like the cat, had his work cut out for him handling two such as these.

#ghost trick #ghost trick spoilers #ghost swap 2023 #writing af

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