#Not really doing this in a specific order or anything
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(req.) Secret Admirer!Seunghan: Best Friend to Lover
he didn’t care if it was a cliche, you were his love at first sight
Seunghan had seen you on campus the previous year
no classes together, much to his dismay, but he assumed the little crush he had on you would’ve gone away because of that
nope.
the next year, the two of you finally met in one of your classes
shyness suddenly overcoming him as you took your spot next to him
the things he imagined saying to you those previous months completely leaving his brain
he didn’t want you to think he wasn’t interested or at least friendly, so he turned and gave you a small smile
you didn't mind though; a soft smile forming on your own lips quickly in exchange before the lesson started
his demeanor was anything but intimidating, which you were beyond thankful for
the professor wasn’t making the lesson easy to follow, and you eventually gave up on your notes
noticing your pen stopping after a while, he looked at you now completely zoned out
so he took the opportunity after class to ask if you wanted to have his notes, handing them to you casually
this surprised you, and you handed them back after you realized he had nothing for himself
you both had classes to get to, so instead, you asked if he could just text you the photos, more than grateful that he accepted
and he, more than grateful that his first interaction with you ended up this way
still a bit shy to text, he waited until later when he figured you wouldn’t be disturbed
receiving those messages, along with “don’t hesitate to ask for my help” made the smile on your face grow wider
you replied, thanking him and asking questions about specific parts of the notes
(which you really didn’t need help with. it was just your excuse to keep talking to him)
(and he loved every moment)
naturally, you ended up hanging out after class to study
for the most part, you both were productive, getting the important things out the way
then after an hour in, you’re leaning closer, sharing the videos you saved specifically for each other
after a while, you both knew that asking to study together would end up being exactly not that
you didn’t even end up bringing notes or books anymore, enjoying each others company having lunch or simply hanging out in either dorm room
he would often bring snacks and drinks you mentioned liking once, telling you not to worry when you mention feeling bad he’s spending money on you
that he enjoys doing it because it makes you happy and that’s what he cares about most
at this point, he was trying to be a bit more obvious
and now, you both wondered when it would happen, 100% sure you could tell your crushes were mutual
so you took the initiative, knowing his tendency to get shy when it comes to becoming vulnerable
still coming as a shock to his entire self, he quickly made sure you knew he reciprocated those feelings
he’d even admit right then and there that he had noticed and liked you months before you officially met
making it your turn to go into shock
Seunghan, your soft boy
always waits for you in the morning to walk you to your other classes
not caring too much if it makes him late to his own, even after you tell him not to
you guys go on café dates quite often, and he’d bring up this being your relationship origins every time
he knows your order by heart & would bring it to you on days you just wanted to stay in your dorm room & hang out
of course, those dorm hangouts include kissing (if your roommate is gone)
which would lead to spooning afterwards and him requesting you to be the big spoon
you'd both nap for a while until his phone alarm rings with a reminder to “library study group"
if you were still half asleep, he'd litter your face with light kisses before leaving & you would fall back to sleep
there would be times Seunghan was invited to a parties by his fellow classmates & they’d invite you too
and after maybe 20 minutes of the both of you clinging to each other
(out of fear and protection)
and watching the antics going on, you were out of there, ending up going to the nearby park
taking turns pushing each other on the swings while singing some random songs
and he'd promise to go on more special dates with you (despite you telling him you wouldn't even mind another nap date)
on the weekends, he'd find somewhere new for you guys to go
he's totally one for picnic dates if you're up for it
they would last for a while & he'd pull you into his lap and rest his chin on your shoulder as you both talk
and feed each other the snacks you packed
other days, you guys would go downtown, meeting up with your mutual friends
they'd suggest going to the movies and you would both agree, even if you didn't necessarily have any interest in that movie
(but its okay be you'd reenact the scenes you found funny after the movie & make yourselves feel better)
always expect good morning & night texts. the cutest ones filled with bunches of heart emojis
snapchats from him would be either sunsets, fat campus squirrels he sees while walking from class to class, and/or videos of him acting cute to make you cringe (with love)
when studying together, you'd catch him just staring at you
and you’d have to physically turn or push his head away so that you could focus
queue him laughing and smiling harder, continuing to stare with sparkles in his eyes
he's infatuated and you are too
being best friends with & dating the cute boy from your class made you want to write a thank you letter to your professor (even if you were cursing them in your head the first day)
sometimes you two would end up being a few minutes late to your class
for obvious reasons
nicknames would be a very important part of your relationship
your nicknames for him would go from “babe” to “hani”
and for each other, the hundreds from the multiple inside jokes you two had each
you two, the best friend turn couple relationship you have makes even strangers yearn
seeing you two together makes you become everyone's favorite couple, on and off campus
#seunghan#riize au#riize imagines#riize x reader#riize#riize fluff#riize scenarios#seunghan au#seunghan x reader#seunghan imagines#seunghan fluff#hong seunghan#riize seunghan#riize headcanons#kpop imagines
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thinking about sinclair again this fine day:
delenn continuing to say "in valen's name" with just as much reverence for the rest of the series, even though he's conclusively some guy named jeff that she personally knows
BUT HE ACTUALLY DID ALL THAT STUFF. SO IS SHE WRONG???
"you talk like a minbari commander" surprise! you all talk like HIM!!
remember marcus's little bit about "the only way to get a straight answer out of ranger one is to hang upside down in a mirror” or whatever? what if "minbari never tell anyone the whole truth" is just because sinclair likes to fuck with people and they made it a cultural tentpole of their society
i'm actually really quite invested now in the alternate universe sinclair & delenn relationship, because imagine her discovering AFTER the fact that her husband is Literally Valen. and she's her own distant ancestor somehow as well
delenn might actually roll with that but lennier's face in the background like O_O
i had a coworker who, anytime some new crazy shit happened, used to take a deep breath and say "this, too." not like 'this too shall pass' or anything, just acknowledging that This Too is a thing we're dealing with today, on top of all the other things. that's lennier ten times a season.
sheridan and delenn are theeee het couple of all time, i think we can all agree on this, i would NOT want to trade them for anything
but i keep thinking about how because sheridan missed season one, he never knew her as a minbari
it just seems so sad for her!!! and for me because i’d like to see him navigate that
i'm having a hard time this go-round watching her get isolated from her people :( :( i mean she IS a religious zealot just Doing Crazy Shit, they're not wrong about her, but the randos calling her a freak need to meet me in the parking lot
ALSO i just watched the dreaming episode, where it's strongly implied that she transformed herself specifically in order to be able to have children with a human (to fix the soul gap or whatever), and she's Destined For Sheridan and all, but she hadn't met him yet
and they weren't even an item when sinclair went into the past to start writing prophecies
soooo do you think she and sinclair were pen pals while he was on minbar and he read between the lines that she was super into this guy?? i think so.
jeffrey valen sinclair in the past writing prophecy about uniting the two halves of our souls: delenn bestie this one's for you <3 go get that blonde man
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Anonymous asked: I have a few questions as an aspiring writer and a current fanfic writer who publishes.
Okay! But if you write fan-fiction, you're already a writer! I'm guessing you mean an aspiring author? ♥
How would you help with distractions and writer's block? I try to dedicate myself to writing, but then I wander off to other stuff and my motivation wanes.
This is not uncommon and there can be a lot of different reasons for why it happens. Understanding the reason behind why it's happening is important for knowing how to fix it. I have a couple posts that will help with this:
5 Reasons You Lost Interest in Your WIP, Plus Fixes!
Feeling Unmotivated with WIP
Writer’s Block
How do you advise me outlining a huge original story plot with world-building in an organized way that isn't just scattered?
Outlining is really just any method that helps you get all the important pieces of the story out, in order, so that you can use it as a reference while writing. Some people use one big beginning to end summary. Some people like scene lists or timelines. Other people like scene cards or mind maps... Different things work for different people, so part of the work you need to do as a writer is figure out which method/methods work best for you.
I often find, though, that the struggle people have with outlining is less about what method to use and more about how to actually fill out the details, which brings me around to plot and story structure. All stories have structure. Fan-fiction is often short, character-driven fiction, which gives it a different structure from the average novel. That said, even if you're a prolific fan-fiction writer, you may still need to take some time to learn about plot and story structure. I'll link a few posts that will help, but once you understand story structure (all the specific plot points a story should go through), it becomes much easier to know how to outline it.
Guide: How to Outline a Plot
Guide: Starting a New (Long Fiction) Story
Basic Story Structure
Beginning a New Story
How to Move a Story Forward
Plot Driven vs Character Driven Stories
Understanding Goals and Conflict
What advice would you give for writing fictional religions and mythology?
First and foremost, it's important to understand the role religion and mythology play in your story... how do they feed into your characters' beliefs? How do they influence your characters' actions and behavior? How do they guide the forces of power in your story's world? How do they impact the story's conflict/s and plot? Ultimately, you don't want to put a lot of time into creating and fleshing out a religion or mythology that's ultimately unimportant to the story. It helps to focus most on the aspects that truly matter.
Also, you might consider using real world mythology and religions as inspiration... just be careful about cultural appropriation. It's best not to use anything that belongs to an active culture or religion unless it's yours, or unless you do intense research and consult with sensitivity readers to make sure you don't do anything harmful.
And lastly, what sources do you recommend to accurately describe buildings (especially castles and manors) battlefields, geographical locations especially when it comes to mountains and rivers, etc), dresses and clothing especially if it isn't modern, and fighting techniques that are believable (for example, how a smaller woman would fight a larger man without being unrealistic)?
1 - Find Inspiration Sources - No matter when and where your story is set, it's important to find inspiration sources for the places in your story, whether that's buildings, towns, regions, whatever. Not only will this help you imagine and describe what you're envisioning, it will help you immensely with research on specific details.
2 - Time and Place Are Important - Many descriptive details are specific to time and place, so make sure you know that about your inspiration sources and/or the elements in your story. You can do a Google search for layout, architecture, and design (along with relevant location and era information) to find the details you need. For example, "medieval European castle layout" or "Victorian era manor house architectural details." Likewise, you can look for "Tudor era menswear" or "Victorian era dress details."
3 - Fighting Techniques - This again will tie into the time and place when your story is set. However, some fighting techniques will be somewhat timeless. I would strongly suggest heading over to @howtofightwrite for the best information and resources about portraying fighting techniques in writing.
Happy writing!
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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!
♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted!
♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking
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Sparks and Shadows
Summary: Eris is surprised when Azriel comes looking for him at the Forest House (one-shot).
Note: Thank you to @ninthcircleofprythian @cauldronblssd and @teddyhoneybear for just being really nice :) Thank you to everyone who reads <3
“Don’t move.”
Eris listened to the command, but he knew it would take very little effort to simply set the Night Court’s best spy alight. Half a thought, and Azriel, along with his strange shadows, would be nothing but ash.
Their centuries-long dance of sorts, and Azriel would be acting as the lead tonight, Eris thought.
The torches in the room flared in warning as Eris leaned into Azriel’s touch in a silent challenge, one that the shadowsinger seemed prepared to accept.
Azriel kept a gloved hand tightly against Eris’s mouth, pressed the sharp point of truth-teller between his shoulder blades. Eris felt as the edge cut through his thin white shirt, he had been ready for bed, had not been dressed for such a guest.
Lips just touching the arch of Eris’s ear, Azriel murmured, “I’m going to move my hand.” Eris felt as truth-teller cut his skin, as the smallest drop of blood made a trailing path down his back. Azriel continued, “I don't want to hear a sound.”
Eris rolled his eyes, even though he knew the other male was unable to see the gesture. He grunted in response, and the hand fell from his mouth, instead wrapping around his throat.
Eris wondered if Azriel was doing that just to irritate him, as a reminder of the last time the other male had found himself in the Forest House, when their positions had been… switched.
Eris arched his neck, lifted a brow. “To what do I owe this visit?”
Azriel’s hand tightened uncomfortably around the Autumn heir’s neck. “I thought I told you to keep quiet.”
“That’s no fun,” Eris’s voice was strained, his breaths smaller. The fireplace on the room’s other side dimmed in response. Eris did not truly believe Azriel had come to kill him, he had had plenty of chances over the years and had never taken any of the countless opportunities to do so.
Azriel’s tone suggested he was serious, perhaps even desperate, unbelievably easy to read. “Nod if you know anything about the human queens.”
Eris tilted his chin, and Azriel said nothing for a long moment before loosening his hold.
“Then you’re still of use to me,” Azriel spat, shoving Eris away and stepping back to put some distance between them, truth-teller now in its sheath. “Tell me what you know,” he ordered, hazel eyes dark.
Eris rubbed at the sore skin of his neck and shrugged, looking at Azriel over his shoulder, lips tilted up in a mocking smile. “Why would I do such a thing?” He walked towards his dresser, grabbing an already opened bottle of cognac and filling the glass he had left there.
“Don’t play games, Rhysand is asking.” Eris scowled as he remembered the Night Court’s promise to support his bid for the throne. He offered the glass to Azriel who simply scrunched his nose in distaste.
“Be specific about the things you want, shadowsinger, I won’t be revealing all my secrets.” In a swift motion, Eris drank all the contents in the glass, setting it aside and relishing in the way it burned.
Some of the liquid had dripped down the corner of his mouth, and Eris flicked his tongue out slowly, letting it linger. Azriel tracked the movement with his eyes, wings flaring almost involuntarily. Eris had to fight to hold back a grin.
Azriel’s hands clenched into fists at his side,“I’ve heard whispers that your father has allied with a few of the queens.”
Eris watched as some of Azriel’s shadows danced around him, he leaned against his dresser, strong arms holding his weight and long legs stretched out, comfortable. “You’ve heard correctly.”
“Why?” Azriel asked through his teeth, clearly annoyed. The blue siphons he had in his leathers brightened for a moment.
Eris hummed elegantly in response, tracing the carved wood of his dresser with a finger. “When I find out, I’ll tell you.” Beron told him very few of his plans, especially as of late, but Eris always learned of what was happening within his own court.
Azriel took a few large steps towards him, wings wide to make himself seem larger. Eris looked up at him, but made sure his chin was tilted arrogantly, enough so to get on the other male’s nerves.
“Don’t lie, Eris.” His words were accusatory, perhaps even a bit disapproving.
Eris merely scoffed, “Don’t tell me what to do, shadowsinger.” Even though he had been telling the truth, Eris rather enjoyed being contrary.
Azriel sighed, ran a hand through his hair. “Meet with Rhysand and Feyre the next time you find yourself in the Hewn City.” Shadows began to whirl around him, his feet completely enveloped in inky darkness.
“Going so soon?” Eris drawled, toying with the laces of his shirt. “No kiss goodbye this time?” Eris was mocking, he had spent enough time around males like Azriel, too wrapped up in their own thoughts, confused about what they wanted.
Eris had been surprised the last time Azriel had come to his chambers, had kissed him after questioning him about the High Lord’s plans. Eris had been even more surprised at how easily he had been able to get the other male into his bed, at the desperate sounds that had fallen from the shadowsinger’s lips as he had let Eris do as he pleased.
All of the control had been in Eris’s hands, just as he enjoyed it.
Azriel seemed to have other plans this time, giving Eris no warning as he grabbed Eris by the back of his head, roughly pulling him so that their lips could meet.
Frantic, desperate, Eris gasped in disbelief and Azriel took the opportunity to lick at the seam of his lips, to stroke at his tongue with his own. The back of Eris’s thighs pressed into the dresser behind him, his arm came up to wrap around Azriel’s neck, fingers carding through the dark locks of his hair. When Eris pulled at the short strands, Azriel moaned against his mouth in approval.
Azriel’s wings came up around them, cutting them off from the rest of the world as their kiss deepened.
Eris felt as the shadowsinger’s hand tugged at his shirt, grabbed at the fabric clumsily. Pulling Azriel’s bottom lip between his teeth, Eris bit hard enough that he felt the skin split, tasted copper on his tongue.
Azriel flinched back, almost as though he had remembered where he was and who was with him. Wings snapping back quickly, he took a few quick steps away from the heir of the Autumn Court. He brought a hand up to wipe at the trickle of blood that dripped down his chin, raising his brows in shock.
Eris grinned as he watched Azriel, his voice thick with desire as he spoke. “We can continue this another night,” he said, waving a hand lazily. “I didn’t put on my silk sleeping clothes for you.” Azriel blushed, the tips of his rounded ears turning a dark shade of scarlet, but Eris continued. “I’ve promised my time to another, and I don’t know how she feels about sharing.”
Azriel simply cleared his throat, nodding in response. Eris found his embarrassment endearing. Amber eyes tracked the shadowsinger as he took a few more steps back.
“Good night, Azriel,” Eris added embers falling from the tips of his fingers as he waved a hand. In truth, he had not been expecting the Night Court spy to respond, he hardly ever did, letting shadows completely envelop him before he winnowed away.
As Azriel left the Forest House again without a word, Eris scowled at the disappointment that bloomed in his chest.
#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#eris vanserra#azriel acotar#azriel shadowsinger#azris#eris x azriel#ashes writes sometimes#thank you to everyone who takes the time to comment and reblog and like <3
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Belobog Roleswap AU
So this is a small thingamaching I've been thinking about sometimes. Truthfully, I just saw some versions of the same concept and while they were certainly interesting, they weren't really my style. So, I decided to try and make my own version.
To start off, I wanna say that I gave myself a few 'rules' to keep it consistent and whatnot. Specifically, I want it to be a true roleswap, so that means no true personality changes, at least not when it's unnecessary. The roleswap should make sense, like it should be able to happen realistically. Nobody expect the people of Belobog are roleswaped.
So I'll start by who we meet first and work my way down until we get all the characters.
We meet Gepard first. He is a petty thief/vigilante that fights fragmentum in his free time, mostly because nobody is willing to offer him a job. At some point, his parents were arrested for really huge crimes (up to interpretation). Due both Gepard and Serval being over the age of eighteen, they are in legal care of Lynx.
They have trouble finding a job due to their reputation and moved to the Underworld because the rent is cheaper. Soon they are forced to steal to get by. When the Underworld was sealed off, Gepard was in the Overworld, pickpocketing, separating him from his sisters. So, for ten years, he was forced to do petty crime to survive, abandoning his "dream" of becoming a Silvermane Guard.
All that changes when the Astral Express comes to Jarillo VI. After the Supreme Guardian "becomes suspicious" of the trailblazers, Sampo comes to Gepard, offering to show him one of the secret pathways to the Underworld. In exchange Gepard has to be the guide for the Express. (Sampard/Gepo fans rejoice, a canon interaction!)
Of course Gepard accepts. So when Seele is chasing after the trailblazers, Sampo sends a few smoke bombs and, with Gepard's help, gets them to the Underworld, reuniting the Landau siblings.
Next, we see Sampo and Luka. Sampo is the Captain of the Silvermane Guards. He's still a Masked Fool but after coming to Jarilo VI and seeing that the role of the Captain is basically empty (the old one is on his last breath) he decides to take up the role.
The first impression we have of him is that he is one lazy Captain. Always slacking off and "going with the flow". He doesn't do his paperwork or listen to anyone all that much. He kinda does his own thing and bothers everyone.
He's still the only one who can travel between the Overworld and the Underworld freely, but he does so in secret, behind the Supreme Guardian's back. He is still helping the leader of Wildfire and he's still the one to plan everything behind the scenes.
We learn that he's the one who got us to the Underworld through Gepard when Seele almost kills him.
When we get back to the Overworld, he greets us and we have to hold Seele from trying to murder him. He doesn't outright reveal anything but he does tell us that more soldiers have been dying under Natasha's rule because of her orders and he's been trying everything to find a way to prevent more soldiers from losing their lives.
He helps us sneak past the Guards, lying smoothly when something happens. Soon, they reach Natasha for the Boss Fight.
Luka is the Intelligence Officer. He used to be in the frontlines but he lost his arm in a very big fight and was "demoted" to a desk job. He hates it and oftentimes does Sampo's neglected paperwork so that the Captain owes him and takes Luka to the frontlines with him as "payback", which is why we see him when we first arrive.
When the crew is back from their adventure in the Underworld and he sees Sampo helping them, he questions the Captain. Soon enough, he joins the crew in fighting the fragmentum.
Followed by those three, we meet Natasha. As an orphan, she was picked to be the Supreme Guardian instead of Cocolia, so she never got the chance to live the life she could've actually enjoyed. When we meet her, she has a faint smile on her face, her voice are gentle and her words kind. Yet, something is eerily off about her, it's just very hard to put a finger on it.
Unlike the lies the Stellaron fed Cocolia of the world dying and everyone getting to live somewhere else, in "the new world", they tell Natasha that by killing everyone, they are gonna resurrect everyone and change their biology to be able to withstand the Eternal Freeze. The cold never bothering them ever again. They say that the moment all of Belobog dies, the life of the fragmentum would be transferred to the people, so they will never again be in danger of either the monsters or the cold.
Her story ends just like Cocolia's in the original timeline, losing her life to the Stellaron and the Astral Express.
Next in line, we have Seele. We meet her during the same scene as Natasha. She doesn't really question Natasha, at least not as much as OG Bronya. Not because she's stupid, no, but because she trusts Natasha whole-heartly. She just follows orders. It doesn't help that Natasha is hiding all the orders that are made specifically to kill as many soldiers as possible.
So, later on, when she finds out that Sampo, a somewhat of a father figure to her, went against Natasha and even kidnapped Seele herself with some "criminals"? She almost mauls Gepard, the "messenger", on the spot.
Of course, she gets her reality check when she sees how bad the situation in the Underworld really is. She sees Gepard in tears after finally reuniting with his sisters after 10 years, she sees kids who never ever went to school, she sees the lack of medical supplies, she sees how dirty everything is and she sees how the fragmentum has been affecting them too.
Just like canon, her romance with Bronya still happens and soon they are back in the Overworld. After a brief conversation with Sampo, she heads off to confront Natasha, and the rest follows canon.
Following Seele, we meet Oleg. He works at the Neverwinter workshop, the adoptive father of Luka. He used to be a Captain but after openly questioning Natasha's rule, he loses his job, leaving him to tinker at the workshop.
He's somewhat aware of what Sampo is doing, which is why he humours him and follows his orders of assisting the Astral Express. He isn't present during the Boss Fight, keeping the fragmentum at bay with Luka's help, he's devastated to learn about Natasha's death though.
Up next, we have Cocolia. She's a very smiley and kind doctor that greets us when we wake up from Sampo's smoke bombs. She is, gasp, in a happy relationship with Serval.
Competent is her middle name, and she mostly follows canon. Instead of Natasha, that doctor couple adopted Cocolia, which is why she becomes the Underworld's main doctor.
Not much to say about her, so let's move on to Bronya. She stops a fight from escalating when Seele causes a scene. While she still is very kindhearted, the Underworld has roughened her edges a bit.
We get bonding scenes between her and Seele and everything pretty much follows canon expect dialogue changes. I don't have much to say about her to be honest.
Pela! She works in the fight club, not because she wants to, but because she fell into debt due to trying to get her hands on the Tales of the Winterlands. Not much about her, sadly, Hoyo wasn't too keen on given her and Luka much screen time, I fear.
She helps us deal with the mine situation that happened in canon.
Now, we get to see Serval. She has an emotional reunion with Gepard and we learn that she is a member of Wildfire. Unfortunately aside from that nothing changes canon (blame the lack of Oleg in the story not me).
Now, we meet Lynx, who has befriended Svarog, the robot acting as her father figure. While Serval isn't a fan of Svarog, she doesn't discourage her little sister from befriending him.
Since day one, she is trying to get Svarog to agree to let people pass through the Furnace Core, she yearns for the outside and tries to find and all possible ways to change Svarog's calculations.
Of course it doesn't work until we, the variable, come to the Underworld.
Lastly, we meet Hook and Clara. Both are orphans adopted by Fersman, whose a Lieutenant under Sampo's command, send by the Captain. "The Moles", we learn, is a specific group of kids that wish to join the Silvermane Guards and, Sampo, to not break their hearts, made them honorary members.
Basically, he tells them sometimes to look out for any suspicious people, maybe follow one (if the job is not at all threatening), or the super duper important mission of getting lunch for him and the other soldiers. In this instance, he used them to lead the gang to Oleg and then to Sampo himself.
And that's it! Let me know your thoughts! If you have any questions about the AU, want a more in-depth explanation or wish to see scenes written about some of the things that happened feel free to ask!
#listen#I know Oleg is an NPC#but can you blame me????#he's pretty important to the Underworld arc#and I know technically I roleswaped Hook AND Clara with Lynx#but I couldn't find another workaround it#I wanted Hook in the Overworld and I had completely forgotten about Clara#sampo koski#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr gepard#hsr sampo#hsr luka#hsr natasha#hsr seele#hsr oleg#hsr cocolia#hsr bronya#hsr pela#hsr serval#hsr lynx#hsr hook#hsr clara#Belobog roleswap#by yours truly
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hey there, would you mind telling me a bit about Lilith and your practice with her? I’ve been trying to do some research on her modern worship, offerings, and signs, but it can be really difficult to find anything that’s serious when there are so many references to her in pop culture :/
Okay so Lilith is extremely, and I mean extremely complicated.
Contrary to popular belief, “Lucifer” isn’t actually a name, but a title. The name Lucifer means “light bringer” in reference to Venus as she appears in the morning, but any “light bringer” can be considered a Lucifer. Prometheus for example, the man who stole fire from the Gods to give light to humanity, is a Lucifer. And so, there are actually many different entities that have taken the role of a Lucifer throughout history and in various different retellings. Eosphorus is the name of the deity that was revered by the Greeks as Venus, but Lucifer is a title that many different figures have taken on depending on the context.
Why do I bring up Lucifer? Because he and Lilith are very similar in that regard. Our earliest mentions of Lilith throughout history paint her not as an individual but as a species of night demon that frequently takes the form of an owl, she was known to bring crib death and miscarriage.
In the myth, Inanna and the Huluppu tree, a huluppu tree (a type of willow) is planted by the banks of the Euphrates River. The tree is tended and nurtured by the goddess Inanna, who plans to use its wood to craft a throne and a bed for herself. However, as the tree grows, it becomes infested with three troublesome creatures:
A serpent that makes its home at the roots of the tree. (What troublesome serpents have been portrayed in another mythology having to do with magical trees? HMM!)
The Anzu bird (sometimes described as a mythical lion-headed eagle) that builds its nest in the branches.
The Lilitu (a female demon or spirit) that makes her lair in the trunk.
Inanna, distressed by these creatures occupying her tree, calls for help from her brother, the sun god Utu (or Shamash). When Utu does not assist her, she turns to the hero Gilgamesh. Gilgamesh comes to her aid and, with his great strength, drives away the serpent, the Anzu bird, and the Lilitu. He uproots the huluppu tree and uses its wood to craft a throne and a bed for Inanna, fulfilling her original intention. Consider that it is a human, not the God of the sun, who helps Inanna with this problem. Interesting.
The inclusion of these three very specific creatures occupying this important tree tended to by the Goddess of love, to her dismay, are very important. Especially when he consider how Inanna’s visual depictions have been syncretized with Lilith. The idea of a serpent (perhaps a Lucifer) , an Anzu bird (described quite similarly to some depictions of abrahamic angels, specifically those like the cherubim) and a Lilith being “driven away” from this mythical tree are notable, especially because these are all symbols associated with Inanna herself.
Inanna, one of the most complex deities in Mesopotamian mythology, embodies aspects of fertility, love, war, and the underworld. Inanna's association with snakes can be seen in her connection to the underworld and her transformative journeys. In her descent into the underworld, Inanna removes one magical garment as she continues into the deathly realm. Just as the snake sheds its skin, Inanna sheds her power and identity as she descends, only to be reborn and restored.
Inanna is frequently depicted with wings, highlighting her divine nature and authority. The Anzu bird in the Huluppu Tree myth, while initially a source of trouble, also connects to the theme of overcoming chaos, which aligns with Inanna's role as a powerful deity who brings order.
Lilith, often depicted as a demoness, represents untamed feminine power, independence, and sometimes chaos. In later Jewish mythology, she is considered a night demon, but her roots trace back to earlier Mesopotamian beliefs. Her inclusion in Jewish mythology is summed up in the verse Isaiah 34:14: "Wildcats shall meet with hyenas, goat-demons shall call to each other; there too Lilith shall repose, and find a place to rest." (Hm… I wonder WHERE she will find a place to rest? Perhaps in a… magical tree?)
In Jewish mysticism, the feminine side of the tree of life is what creates the potential for evil. Even though it is the lightest, brightest, goodest form of feminine energy, for some reason, every time, disobedience pops up no matter what we do. It is an aspect of the feminine itself.
In the Huluppu Tree myth, Lilith (or a Lilitu) makes her home in the tree that Inanna nurtures. This connection reflects Inanna's association with both nurturing and taming wild, untamed aspects of the feminine. Lilith's presence in the tree also highlights the tension between order and chaos, which Inanna must navigate and control.
So what does this all mean?
Each creature in the tree draw direct parallels to the Goddess of Love herself. These can be interpreted as perversions of her divine nature, that she herself cannot be-rid of on her own. Inanna the Goddess of WAR couldn’t get an owl, a big bird, and a snake out of a tree??? Why? Likewise, why did the divinities refuse to help her? Why did she have to seek out a human specifically, to get those unwelcome guests out of her tree? And if it is so that Inanna just doesn’t really like owls and snakes, why is she represented with them (and generally just hanging out with them) so often?
Lilith, the serpent, and the Anzu bird reflect aspects of the divine mother that she herself cannot even tame. Lilith as the night owl also reflects an aspect of knowledge and wisdom, as owls can see in the dark and hunt strategically. Even though she is portrayed as an enemy of Inanna, Inanna never once can or even tries to harm her. Inanna being the Goddess of fertility, and Lilith being the demon that causes miscarriage, show that they are natural opposites, yet still derived from the same divine source, and never combative towards each other.
Similarly, Lucifer’s first ever depiction was as his role as Venus, the same astrological planet as what is associated with Inanna. In Christianity, Lucifer played the role of the serpent who convinced Eve, another archetype of divine femininity, to eat the forbidden fruit of knowledge. Interestingly enough, Lilith is never actually portrayed eating the fruit. Does she posses a divine knowledge that is inherent to her qualities as a night owl, to the point where she didn’t need to eat the fruit to have the wisdom to disobey Adam? Does she possess a knowledge that is inherent to the divine feminine force from which she was created? Is this because she was created from the divine forces of femininity itself and not derived from man, as Eve was? If this is the case, that even though Eve ate the apple, she did not become a Lilith, that stands to imply that there is an inherent quality about being derived from a human man, that repels or deflects that inherent feminine rebellious quality. Instead, being replaced with the the ability to submit.
Knowledge applied with the associations of night and mystery, create a feminine energy that cannot submit, and this is likely Inanna’s fault herself, as she very notably has a big issue with respecting any authority higher than herself, even death herself (as her big sister)
From a symbolic standpoint this tells us a couple things about Venusian energy in general.
1.) Regardless of how hard it tries to behave, it is inherently chaotic
2.) It has many faces, some of which do not jive with eachother, but even so, they continue to coexist, even if not in the same places
3.) It is a creator and a destroyer.
4.) It has a very rough time with the concept of submission.
Okay YAP fest, what’s the point?
Lilith is a great example of how the dark feminine exists within the light feminine as an inevitability. Lilith is not so much associated with war, the strategic enactment of violence., but rather the inherent unpredictability of femininity. Women both create life and snuff it, women can decide to procreate or to have an abortion. Lamashtu and Lilith respectively were invoked for abortive purposes.
And of course, Lilith’s adoption by feminist spaces as a self actualized protector of individuality and feminine rage also invoke heavy associations with Inanna as the Goddess of war. So in my interpretation, Lilith is that part of Inanna that went a little unchecked for a little too long. That combined with the themes of Lucifer’s liberation, paint a very interesting narrative about how femininity as a divine force shows up in obscure ways, perhaps even negative ways, whilst still being just as divine and inherent. To recognize Lilith as the antithesis of all of these things, is to see her as the unwavering aspect of femininity that cannot be tamed, even by femininity herself. The snake, the reborn, will always cause chaos at the root of the feminine energy. The Anzu bird, the angels, are susceptible to that same corruption. And the Lilith herself will always find a home within that feminine energy, unless of course, she is snuffed by the will of a man who doesn’t respect her. Still, she does not die, just searches for another place to rest.
Wow this was really long. SO. Lilith is the entity that embodies our biggest fears about femininity and the inherent knowledge that women posses. Women know how to create life, and women have the ultimate authority in ending it. To honour Lilith as a Goddess rather than a troublesome demon, is to recognize that even the parts of femininity that femininity herself can’t control are divine in nature. The knowledge that she possesses makes women incapable of submission. And the Gods themselves are aware of this, and do not interfere with her, because she is a Goddess herself carrying out an important function, even if it doesn’t adhere to what they might like. Basically, rebellion is an inevitability to any feminine creature that possesses knowledge. It is unavoidable.
It’s incredibly difficult to find anything about the worship of Lilith because for a long time she wasn’t given her flowers as a divinity. Even Inanna herself tried to get her to fuck off. You can honour her quite similarly to the way Artemis and Athena were worshipped, alongside Inanna or Aphrodite of course. As the dark, mysterious, yet inexplicably wise mother of demons, she is the creative force behind destruction. She’s the aspect that exists in all of these Goddesses, that most of us would rather not think about. She is a woman who cannot be held in captivity, if you tell her to procreate, she will cause miscarriage. If you tell her to obey, she will become even more rebellious. The more you repress her, the stronger she becomes. No matter how oppressed women become, no matter how subservient, so long as they have any connection to the divine feminine, they will have a Lilith inside of them.
Lilith’s representation of a succubus expands upon her associations as a woman who does what women do, (men thought women were sex objects for a long time) but not for the sake of cooperation, but for her own means. Lilith is very much a woman, capable of doing what all women and feminine goddesses can do. She simply chooses not to, similarly to how Artemis simply chooses not to procreate. The element of choice, (hello again, Lucifer) always being an option to women is, from a patriarchal standpoint, really scary for men.
So how do you worship her? Worshipping Lilith, like Lucifer, is technically paradoxical. Lucifer wants us to worship ourselves. If he accepts worship it’s because you’re using him as a metaphor for yourself. Lucifer believes in no man submitting to no God, so he won’t take on the role of the usual “authority”. Lilith is quite similar, to worship her is to worship the wise and rebellious spirit that exists in the feminine- yourself. Self honouring acts honour Lilith, just as they honour Lucifer. It’s important to remember that Lilith isn’t just rebellion for the sake of arguing, she isn’t a contrarian. She is self actualization that just happens to not go with the status quo. She does what she wants, if that pisses you off: cope. She’s not inherently against men or procreation, or even women who are submissive. She is the constant exception. The random variable that always pops up whenever we deal with feminine deities. So for me, I honour her as an extension. of every existing goddess. Within Inanna, there is a Lilith, as there is within Aphrodite, Hera, Artemis, Athena, etc etc.
Wow this was long as fuck but I hope it provided a little bit of insight as to why Lilith is so fucking confusing. Regardless of which contexts you feel are the most true, Lilith, like all deities will continue to evolve with time. Just as the narrative around Medusa has gradually changed into her being a victim instead of a monster, Lilith has shifted from being a demon that just kills babies to the ultimate personification of feminine independence. All of these interpretations are correct in the right context, you just have to figure out which context best applies to you.
OKAY if you actually read this far here’s a flower 🌹
#lilith#lilith deity#witchcraft#magick#paganism#pagan#occultism#witch community#witch aesthetic#witchblr#demonology#grimoire#lucifer#inanna#luciferian#goetic demons#goetia#mythology#syncretism
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tuesday again 5/28/2024
we are rapidly approaching the one-year anniversary of my ill-fated cross country move. i have changed from having a bad time in massachusetts to having a bad time in texas, but this time with my best friend's shoulder to cry on in real life. so an improvement i suppose
listening
i can't fucking believe this wasn't already in my driving playlist. thanks autogenerated spotify dance playlist
youtube
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reading
the maltese falcon by dashiell hammett. i didn't really appreciate philip marlowe the-human-detective-not-my-cat's bisexual eye for interior design and outfits until i started reading this book. this passage really threw me with regards to shoes before pants in what i assume is a fairly normal suit and not a specific type of formalwear? i have a very specific blind fashion blind spot and that's pre-wwii menswear
this led to an absolutely VICIOUS argument with my bestie bc our grandfathers were from very different eras and held themselves to very different levels of formality. hers was a fancy white collar bastard and mine wasn't. i never saw mine in a suit outside a funeral.
anyway i KNOW that the fashion in the latter half of the twenties up to WWII was for a very wide legged pant (the oxford bag) and i GUESS you could certainly shove your whole goddamn shoe down that leg but like. it threw me. socks before pants, certainly. especially if you have to fuck with sock garters. but shoving your whole shoe down a pant leg seems. well it just seems. there's an order of operations i thought was sacred for most things. was the seat truly so tight in an oxford bag. are suspenders really that awful to bend over in. so much womens formalwear is uncomfy on purpose so i feel like i have a skewed view of acceptable pain for an outfit to cause you
why am i reading this? can you think of a more on-brand book for me to read? please let me know if you do and i'll add it to The Pile
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watching
the tremendously charming soviet childrens film The Tale of Tsar Saltan (1967, Ptushko). court intrigue! a swan princess! giants marching out of the sea! a slightly unsettling squirrel puppet shelling gold and emerald walnuts! a lot of sight gags, some lovely ballet sequences, and there are so many little moving parts to look at in each scene. at its densest it's like howl's bedroom in howl's moving castle
youtube
this was on my library's streaming platform Kanopy and i had credits to use up.
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playing
two things in genshin that took absolutely forever to accomplish:
i finally maxed out the overall XP system (not the character XP system) so the game's just been chucking in-game currency at me instead, which has been helpful!
and i finally caught two thousand fish! very nice to clear like forty fishing spot markers i put down on my map, in advance of the forty billion markers i'll want to put down to mark stuff in the next big release at the end of the summer.
i forgot that i can use my desktop for things that aren't genshin and applying to jobs, so i reinstalled steam and fired up powerwash simulator. they popped out one new DLC in the year since i touched it, a santa's workshop level last winter. a good hour well spent. i spent a LOT of time with this game right before my move last year and it did genuinely help my anxiety.
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making
not a fallow week but a pictureless week. ended up painting most of my best friend's bedroom bc we didn't have anything better to do on a saturday night. i think this was the hardest i've ever raw-dogged a painting project bc we had no tarps or painters tape or paint trays or rollers wider than 3". just a bucket of paint and a need to make the half-painted bedroom wall look nicer for her new job zoom training. we have to do a lot of things like move the bed and paint that wall, and paint the ceiling, and do all the trim + doors, but it does look much nicer on zoom now!
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Cigarettes & Cliches Part 9
Pairing: Bad Boy Felix x Reader
Word Count: 4.2K
Genre: Collage AU, Slow Burn Romance
Warnings: 18+, MDNI, Swearing, Mentions of Emotional Abuse, Mentions of SA,
He was the most impractical guy for you to be interested in, the incredibly handsome cliché bad boy who collected girls like trophies. As hard as you wanted to hate him his persistence and hidden softer side just could be your undoing.
You still hadn’t answered Felix, you knew you should have but you couldn’t until you knew what the conversation between your roommates had truly been about and why it related to you and Felix. Your guilty conscience was weighing heavy on you as you walked into work you picked up your apron, slipping it over your head and remembering how Felix had once called it stupid. Greeting your coworkers as you stepped behind the coffee machine to do a quick clean before you started for the afternoon. You had already spied Changbin and Han sitting in the corner deep in conversation so you left it until one of them came up to the counter or waved at you. Binna, your manager for the night came over and gave you a quick side hug to welcome you back and Hana who had been cleaning tables came over to say hello.
“There are quite a few cute boys in tonight” Hana gushed, placing the cloth she had been wiping down a table with on the counter.
“Really I have just got here I haven’t actually looked around yet” you giggled shaking your head at her.
“A couple of them were asking for you, specifically!” she lowered her voice conspiratorially.
“Uhuh” you rolled your eyes at her “wouldn’t happen to be my friends over there would it?” you asked, jutting your chin in the direction of Han and Changbin.
“How did you know? And are they ‘just friends’ of yours?” she countered raising her eyebrow at you.
“They are both single so knock yourself out Hana” you laughed properly at her as her face lit up, quickly returning behind the counter to serve a customer. Han waved at you when you looked back over to them, making you grin and wave back. Chan wandered into your view then sitting himself down opposite Han and smiling at you, his dimples on full display.
“Can I get you on service please? I’ll take over the coffee” Binna asked casually counting how many full tables there were in the cafe.
“Of course Binna” you nodded, picking up the slice of cake and brownie plates she had placed beside the machine.
“Table 6 please” she sighed, swiping to the current order to be made. You made your way to table 6 placing down the food and weaving your way back towards the counter to pick up the next order noting it was going to be a busy few hours. The guys waited for your break which you took grabbing an iced coffee and going over to sit with them.
“Having fun watching me wait tables?” you teased, plopping yourself down in the gap between Han and Changbin.
“I’ll have you know we’re on an important job scoping out the place for people who have a grudge against you” Han defended goofily.
“And what have you found?” you laughed
“Nothing except that your coworker thinks Changbin is cute and that you seem to sell a lot of brownies and lattes” Chan chimed in, making Chagbin’s face turn pink.
“That’s Hana and I can confirm she does” you giggled “I told you everything was fine it was only an empty threat anyway”.
“It still can’t hurt to make sure you’re alright” Changbin shrugged.
“What have you guys got on for the rest of the week?” you pried looking at each of them expectantly.
“Party tomorrow night, we thought we could have dinner another night this week if you want to” Han explained “Should probably do a little bit of course work at some point too”.
“Yeah dinner sounds good. Which night are you the least busy?” you enquired sipping your drink.
“Maybe Wednesday? Depends how things end up after tomorrow but we can let you know” Chan replied “I’ll give your number to these two idiots so we can sort the details out”. You nodded not needing to say anything over the squawked protest from the other two.
“I wanted to ask you guys something actually” You started which made them all turn to you “What can you tell me about the girl who used to live with Seung and Innie?”. They shared a quick look between each other before they silently agreed amongst themselves to let Chan answer.
“Her name is Yoona and she is currently studying abroad. She got into a masters program but I can’t remember which university” Chan explained “Why are you asking?”.
“Seung and Innie were talking about her last night in the car, they made it sound like something had happened to her before she left, I was just curious that's all” you shrugged trying to seem as nonchalant as possible.
“Right well, she was really sweet and smart so I guess you two are similar that way” Chan smiled tightly which gave away the fact he was hiding something from you.
“So what did Hyunjin do to Yoona exactly then?” you pushed lightly raising your eyebrows at them, if they were going to try to hide things from you, you may as well lay your cards on the table so they knew they couldn’t sweep it under the rug.
“Seung and Innie kept Yoona hidden from us to begin with too, like they did with you” Han admitted guiltily “not because they didn’t trust us but because Yoona was so private they didn’t feel like they knew her well enough to just have her hang out with us all”.
“We all met eventually though” Changbin interjected “She partied way more than you and she was out a lot”.
“Anway” Han continued, looking at Changbin dryly “After a while she met Hyunjin and he thought he was in love with her, she had no interest in him and he hated that. He chased her for a while and eventually she gave in and they hooked up” Han finished taking a long sip from his coffee.
“That’s it? She was the girlfriend that he didn’t cheat on? That's the great big secret?” You frowned even more confused as to what this had to do with you and Felix.
“Oh no” Chan corrected “Because it had taken him months to win her over she had begun to fall for him, he had treated her like she had hung the moon, she was his princess so when she agreed to start dating him he pretty much hit it then quit it. It broke her heart”.
“But you said Hyunjin loved her?” you blinked still not putting all the pieces together.
“Hyunjin wasn’t in love with her, he was a bit obsessed with her because she was immune to him, it was all lust and him enjoying the chase” Chan sighed looking at you seriously.
“So that is why Seung and Innie don’t really trust Minho, Hyunjin and Felix around me? Because they think I’m going to fall into the same trap?” you summarized slowly.
“Pretty much, she only applied for the masters program abroad to escape how shitty she was left feeling” Changbin nodded.
“That’s fucked up” you muttered.
“Yep, but that is the man whores for you. They are great friends, but none of us would trust them with any of the women in our lives” Han agreed. You sat in silence for a moment until the alarm on your phone went off announcing that your break was over.
“I still don’t get why she has been kept a big secret” you sigh, going back to the counter not witnessing the look the three friends share between themselves.
Figuring it was all dumb you quickly texted Felix that you would call him after work and got back to the second part of your shift. After another hour Chan, Han and Changbin left much to Hana’s disappointment but you promised to give her number to Changbin when you next saw him which cheered her right up immediately. Exactly ten minutes before the end of your shift you looked up to see Felix walking into the cafe and took a seat by the door, his eyes trained only on you, winking when he saw you looking at him which made you blush. Pulling off your apron and saying goodbye to the others you walked towards the door letting Felix open it for you and follow you out into the night.
“I’m sorry I didn’t answer you last night Lix” you apologized as soon as it was you the two of you on the street.
“Don’t be baby, I know you were overthinking so I wasn’t going to push you” he smiled softly taking your hand in his and kissing your fingers.
“I wanted to ask you about Yoona” you turned your head to look at him “Seung and Innie keep comparing me to her and I don’t know why”.
“Of course they fucking do” Felix grimaced letting out a deep breath “Did you have anywhere you needed to be right now or do you have time to talk?”. The trepidation in his voice was concerning to you but you needed to know the truth that was obviously still being hidden from you.
“I’ve got time Lix” you squeezed his hand soothingly making him nod before hailing a cab and opening the door for you to get in.
“Where are we going?” you asked softly.
“My place, the others are out so we can talk about the whole thing” he replied, giving the address to the driver and wrapping his arm around your shoulder as you took off. The drive was silent but it was only five minutes until you were at Felix’s apartment building his arm around your waist as he walked you inside. You sat on the couch Felix sat himself across from you looking more serious than you expected from a guy who hadn’t been the one to cause Yoona any drama.
“Alright, I’ll explain this the best I can but if you could just wait until the end before you judge us all and never want to see me again” he sighed looking saddened about what he was about to divulge to you “Yoona was the roommate before you that lived with Seungmin and Jeongin, she was another super smart women who was breezing through her courses easily just like you do. Unlike you she liked to party a fair bit and was a little more trouble than Seungmin or Jeongin ever knew, she hadn’t really been to any of the parties we did. She was more into nightclubs but when she did go to parties she was always noticeable. She is a pretty girl, not beautiful like you, but still attractive” Felix took a deep breath and continued “Eventually we met her, she wasn’t interested in any of us which is cool whatever at that point in time none of us had any problems finding other girls to spend our time with but Hyunjin, he ended up obsessed with her. He had a girlfriend at the time as was nowhere near as big a fuck boy as he is now but he broke up with his girlfriend so he could chase Yoona. She blew him off for six maybe seven months which only made him worse until finally after he had been sending her flowers, chocolates and little gifts for weeks on end she gave in and said she would give him a shot”.
“That’s what Chan said and I didn’t get why that was such a big deal” you interrupted feeling perplexed at the idea of you and Yoona being similar again.
“It gets worse” Felix frowned looking at you for another moment before continuing “Yoona made Hyunjin wait at least a couple of dates before she would sleep him and in the couple of weeks that took he lovebombed her hard, she probably felt like she was his queen and that he was willing to do anything for her, when she did finally let him fuck her Hyunjin was like an addict he couldn’t get enough of her. They were shacked up here for weeks at a time going at it like rabbits. Minho and I almost had to move out just so we could get some fucking sleep. But after maybe two months it crashed down when they had a reality check, Yoona thought she had gotten pregnant, she hadn’t but not the point, Hyunjin freaked out and just about threw her out of the apartment forcing her back to your place. After a trip to the doctor she discovered she wasn’t pregnant but it had scared Hyunjin so much he ghosted her, she was shattered he had convinced her that she was in love with him, that they were meant to be together and then he just disappeared from her life. She started partying even harder than hitting nightclubs every night and eventually drank way too much, and got into trouble, she ended up being dropped off at the hospital by some unknown guy, turns out he had assaulted her then took her there when she wouldn’t wake up. She had a bad reaction to the alcohol and the drug he had slipped her so she was there for a week. She decided to apply for a scholarship outside of the country so she could escape everything”. Felix took another deep breath looking directly into your eyes. You could see the sadness and the disappointment that swirled in them whether it was about what had happened to Yoona or what he thought was about to happen with you but it made your heart hurt for both him and Yoona.
“So Yoona left the country because Hyunjin broke her heart and then some random guy assaulted her which destroyed her spirit while she was drowning her sorrows” you echoed his story back to him to ensure you got it correct.
“Yes and I promise that is not what will happen with us. I would never do that to you” Felix swore emphatically.
“I know you’re not going to do that to me Lix” you assured him, he had always told you the truth and had twice stopped himself when he thought he was going to go too far with you. He was careful with you and you knew that he wouldn’t be as careful if it was just about sex to him. “I’m nothing like Yoona though, why do Seung and Innie compare me to her?” you continued, frowning.
“Seung and Innie don’t know she was attacked, they know she was in hospital for alcohol poisoning but the rest only came out when she wrote a letter to Hyunjin after she left”. Felix explained. “Hyunjin showed us the letter so Minho and I know the others might have guessed but only the three of us know the full story”.
“Did Hyunjin blame himself?” you asked, albeit reluctantly not wanting to push too hard about his close friend.
“He still blames himself, he hasn’t been serious about anyone since and I don't think he will for a long time yet. He knows how much of an absolute dickhead he was”. Felix smiled sadly, getting up from the couch and moving over to sit beside you, taking your hand in his again.
“So if you don’t want us to be public knowledge yet I understand and I respect it”. Felix whispered, his voice hopeful.
Turning yourself so you could swing your legs up over his lap you studied him for a moment. His hair was messy now he had run his hand through it a dozen times as he told you about Yoona, and his eyes were still shone with worry that he was trying to hide that from you.
“I would like to be your girlfriend Lix, if you are sure you want me” you confessed feeling your cheeks heat up as the words left your mouth. His grin was breathtaking, lighting up his whole face as he easily flipped his position to lay you back against the couch with legs slotting between yours. He claimed your mouth lovingly, his soft plump lips sliding against yours as you opened your lips to welcome his tongue with your own. His kisses grew deeper and more precise, his hands trailing down your sides giving you goosebumps as they slid beneath your top to squeeze your bare waist.
“You are perfect baby” he murmured against your lips cautiously rolling his hips against yours making your eyes widen and a small gasp to leave your lips. You felt the corners of his lips curl into a smile against yours at your reaction to him. “So beautiful and all mine”.
Your lips met his again for a moment only to be interrupted by your phone ringing in your bag next to the couch. Felix dropped his head to your shoulder for a moment cursing it almost inaudibly before reaching into your bag and handing it to you.
“Hey, where are you? You’re always home by now, did you get held up?” Seungmin’s voice sounded vaguely worried.
“Hi Seung, I'm on my way. I just ran into someone from class and we got chatting. I'll be home soon, sorry to worry you both” you laughed quietly as Felix got off you screwing up his nose at your mutual friends terrible timing.
“I’ll get you an uber baby” Felix chuckled, getting out his phone and ordering one for you “Let go downstairs to wait so we can get you back to the two concerned pains in my arse”.
You giggled letting Felix wrap you up in his arms as he continued grumbling about not getting to have you to himself for even fifteen minutes, occasionally pressing his lips to your neck and making you shiver against him.
“When can I see you again to make up for it Felix?” you tilted your head towards him.
“I’ll text you later when I find out what my two morons are doing and you know what your idiots are doing” he smirked as the uber pulled up. “Get home safe baby” he kissed you chastely, helping you into the car and waiting until you were out of sight to go back inside.
Walking into your apartment you couldn’t help the smile that crossed your face when you heard the violent flap of a tea towel mixed with the faint smell of burnt food. Shaking your head you slipped out of your shoes and made your way to the kitchen to predictably find Jeongin waving the makeshift fan under the smoke alarm as Seungmin pulled a tray of burnt edge garlic bread laughing loudly.
“Hey you can’t blame me this time” Jeognin complained loudly “You’re the one that burnt the garlic bread, I just smelt the burning”.
“I’m so glad that no one was worried for my safety, it was more of a concern that you would starve without me” you teased, alerting them to your presence.
“It was a mix of both, if you went missing I would have to eat his cooking more often” Seungmin continued laughing as you went around to the lounge side of the kitchen bench.
“Innie’s cooking isn't that bad Seung '' you scoffed looking at how cute Jeongin’s offended face actually was. Seungmin stuck his tongue out childishly at Jeongin as you watched him lift the lid of the pasta that he was cooking.
“Are you ready to eat?” he asked, turning to you, bowl in hand.
“Yeah let me wash up while you serve, I'll be back in a second” you couldn't help chuckle at your two roommates, they were constantly bickering like a married couple but would be lost without each other. You quickly went to the bathroom washing your hands and changing out of your clothes into more comfortable sweats so you could lounge around eating dinner in front of the TV with them. Making your way over to the couch you were handed a bowl of pasta and flopped down against one on the couch arms tucking your bare feet under Jeongin’s legs while Seungmin flipped through the channels to find something to watch settling on a variety show that was usually funny. While you ate your phone buzzed in your pocket which you checked while Jeongin was making fun of something one of the guests on the show had just done.
Baby, tell Seung and Innie if you are ready I’ve told Hyunjin and Minho but they will keep quiet under threat of death if you aren't ready today xx
You were sure you must have made an amused and exasperated face because Seungmin raised his eyebrows at you and Jeogin started poking your legs to see if you were still paying attention to what he had been saying.
“What’s happened? Seungmin asked, looking concerned as he put his bowl down on the floor next to the couch.
“I have something I want to tell you and I'm worried I will lose my nerve if I wait”. You swallowed, taking a deep breath in.
“Alright, what is so serious that you have to tell us now?” Jeongin asked “Oh god are you being taken out of school by your parents? Did you lose your job?”.
“It isn't that serious and besides you already kind of know” you admitted looking over at Seungmin who looked like he understood but wasn't thrilled.
“You’re interested in Felix” he stated with no hint of question in his voice “We know he’s interested in you”.
“Close” you nodded pursing your lips “I’m dating Felix, well I’ve been on a date with Felix. I’m the girl who you think is too foolish to know she’s being led on”.
“Shit” Seungmin muttered realizing that you had heard the entire conversation that he and Jeongin had, had in the car.
“Well fuck” Jeongin echoed sounding equally surprised “When did this happen?”.
“Well I went on a date with him the night before we went to Chan’s for pizza, the hoodie I was wearing was his” you flushed when you saw their eyes widen in tandem “I knew you were going to that party so we went out after you left to see a movie. But it started before the University handed down their findings on Nali, the day he dropped in with pastries was the first time he told me he was interested”.
“So you hid it since then?” Seungmin frowned “Why?”.
“Because you guys were being so judgemental about him, Minho and Hyunjin, I was frightened you would kick me out or not want to be friends with me any longer. Then there were a couple of times that Yoona was brought up which seemed hard on you so I didn’t push”. You explained looking at the floor.
“So you know about Yoona?” Jeongin sighed softly.
“Yeah I asked Chan earlier today then when Felix came to pick me up from work I asked him too”. You confessed “I had thought she was the girlfriend that Seung had mentioned to me. I didn't realize that she had been so hurt she felt like she needed to move away”.
“It wasn’t Hyunjin’s fault she moved away, at least not totally” Jeongin interrupted, looking uneasy.
“I know, Felix explained it all to me and told me that we could stop seeing each other if I didn’t trust him to not do the same to me” you continued “But Hyunjin and Minho have figured out that it was Felix’s hoodie so instead of letting them have fun giving everyone clues I thought it would be better to just tell you both”.
“Have you…um?” Seungmin started before stopping himself from finishing his question.
“No Seung, I’m a little harder to win over than a single date” you smirked watching relief cross his face.
“So you have tamed him then?” Jeongin cackled “He would never wait that long if it was just about sex”.
“Eww Innie” you screwed your face up “Can we not discuss my boyfriend's previous sexcapades? Please?”.
“Boyfriend. Well that’s fucking odd” Seungmin laughed “Poor Changbin is going to be crushed, he was sure you would give him a chance”. Jeongin joined in his laughter before pulling his phone out of his pocket and dialing Felix.
“Don’t say anything” he smirked at you, covering his lips with his finger to shush you while he put the call on speaker.
“Innie, what’s up?” Felix answered, sounding like his normal self.
“Felix you absolute fucker” Jeongin snapped, the gin on his face making it hard for him to sound completely angry. “We told you to stay away from her, especially after the whole Nali thing”.
“Ah, umm… I guess she told you then. I know you warned me but she’s worth the risk Innie and I don’t care if you and Seung hate me for it, she’s too important to me to give up” Felix replied genuinely making your heart beat speed up.
“Eww, she’s making heart eyes at the phone now” Seungmin announced, making fake gagging noises.
“Hi Baby” Felix laughed, making Jeongin cringe.
“Hey Lixie” you smiled back hearing much louder laughter coming from the background of his phone “Hi Hyunjin, Hi Minho”.
“Look everything is fine as long as I don’t have to walk in on you two fucking on my couch” Seungmin rolled his eyes.
“Like I’d let you see me naked” You grumbled making all of them laugh.
“You tell him baby” Felix whooped making you blush from your neck all the way to your ears.
“That’s enough of that” Jeongin interjected “You better not fuck this up Felix” he added seriously while looking at you fondly. “She’s important to all of us now, not just you”. He hung the call up before Felix could reply, meeting your eyes.
“I guess it could have been worse” Seungmin shrugged, making you look at him quizzically “I mean it could have been Hyunjin”.
A/N: Thank you so much for spending you time reading this I adore you for it and thank you for all the likes, reblogs, comments and support you have given me it means the world to me xx
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The Heart of a Bene Gesserit-Part Two//Paul Atreides
Warnings: mention of slaves(for spice harvesting), drinking alcohol, speaking of heartbreak
You were given your own room at the Emperor's house. This wasn't the first time you'd stayed at a House of Atreides, but this felt altogether different from your childhood.
Duke Leto was an untouchable force, but not necessarily a man to be feared. He was a man who commanded respect. But you could tell that the people here, servants, soldiers, Paul's men, were all afraid of him under the surface.
As you spent the following day with Paul, you could still sense the melancholy from him. You sat in on his council, you walked the Arakeen halls with him, everything he said to everyone was met with a "Yes, my lord." As if they could not say anything contrary.
You knew that this wasn't what Paul desired. He was still Leto's son. He had a heart, and you knew that all he really wanted was love and to be loved. There was something specifically off about him. You could tell that he was troubled. You wanted to know what was going on in his mind.
Paul was headed to take some time to relax. He deeply stressed, as was everyone else during this time of war.
"Paul, do you need to talk about anything?"
"No, I'm fine." he said.
"You can trust me, Paul. I am your friend, don't forget that."
"I'm going to need more time. What personally troubles me is miniscule in comparison to everything around me."
Just as Paul had sat down, one of the guards burst into the room, "My lord, another smuggler crawler has been intercepted. They need your approval as to what to do with the prisoners aboard."
"Kill them all." Paul said, without any thought.
"No." you said sharply.
Paul frowned at you, his eyes darkening, "No? How would you deal with these traitors?"
"Don't be so much of a Harkonnen, Paul." you warned, knowing that you would pinch a nerve mentioning his mother's bloodline. "No need for senseless killing. That would only be liberation for these smugglers. I would keep them as slaves for the spice silos. Make them work to the bone, under the burning desert sun until the end of their days."
He tilted his head, a look of intrigue on his face, "Seems cruel, but quite useful, y/n."
"Think of it as a lesson for other wannabe thieves. The taste of slavery is much sourer than death. The spice harvesters will be kept in line. The empire will be better for it."
Paul nodded, a grin on his lips, "Hmm." He agreed, stepped closer to you. "I want to offer you a job on my council, if you'll have it. I need your mind, y/n. Someone sensible for once."
"I will consider it, my lord. Give me time." you answered, smirking up at him.
"I must leave now and give orders to the new slaves." he said to you, then looked to the guard at the door behind you. "Y/n will stay and watch over House Atreides in my stead until I return." he gave one last nod, then left the room.
......
Hours upon hours passed, it was so late into the night that you weren't informed about Paul's return. You needed to see him, to be assured that he was alright. You instructed a servant to take you to him.
Paul was alone in the dining hall; a few bottles of spice liquor littered the grand table. You looked ahead, above the large door across the room, stared into the eyes of the bull's head that hung there. You heard footsteps, saw Paul walking out toward the table.
"Leave us." you told the servant and watched them leave. This was seemingly a moment of weakness for the emperor, his staff did not need to see him this way, so vulnerable.
“Y/n, forgive me for not seeking you this evening. My duties took longer than anticipated. I figured you were asleep.” Paul said, holding a bottle to his lips, downing the liquid inside.
“I wanted to be sure that you came back safely.”
“I know my way in the desert. I’m the emperor, you don’t have to worry about me.” he sat down in one of the chairs, setting his bottle on the table.
“I think someone should look after you, Muad’Dib.”
“Oh?” he took another sip, “And you wish to be this someone? To look after me, bed me, so you can be the mother of the next Kwizatz Haderach?”
That remark made you angry, you understood that he couldn’t fully trust you yet, but he was being too harsh. The alcohol must bring out his defiant streak. “Don’t mock me, Paul Atreides. I’m not just Bene Gesserit, you know. I’m your friend, we grew up together, I am still the same person.”
“Are you?” he asked, not looking at you. His blue with blue eyes were obviously tired. Exhaustion was all over his face.
“Yes. I’m here for you, even if you don’t realize it.”
He turned his head, glaring at you. “Tell me, what exactly are you here for? I assume there’s a mission for you at hand, yes?”
This was it, you couldn’t conceal it anymore. He knew. He just needed you to admit it. “You’re right. I was sent here to secure your bloodline. To seduce you. I accepted the mission, but not to see it through. I just missed my friend. And I worried about you. Everything you’ve been through, Paul-"
“I believe you.” he drank down the remaining spice liquor from the bottle, then stood up. “Come with me.” he said, walking out of the dining hall.
“Paul, I think you should go to bed, get some rest.” you suggested, following him.
“Afterward." he replied. "I want to show you something.” He led you out onto the large balcony that overlooked the spice depot. “I remember when we used to watch the sunset on Caladan. I know you thought it was beautiful, the way the sun reflected on the water, but the moons here are just as breathtaking.”
You looked at him looking up at the night sky. The dark night shadowed his features, softening them. Then you looked up at the moons, shining brightly, “I have heard of the two moons of Arrakis, but it is something entirely different to see them with my own eyes.” He was right, it was a sight to behold. It was beautiful. “I may be biased, but I prefer a Caladan sunset.” you teased him.
Paul chuckled, looking over at you, “I knew you’d say that. What I wouldn’t give to be kids again. Feels like I’ve taken those memories for granted. I’m glad you’re here to bring them back. I miss Caladan, who I was there. Who I was when I was with you.” his voice was so tender and soft, if not for your training, you’d be weak in the knees.
“Maybe you could tell me what’s bothering you now. Get something off your chest. You have enough weight on you, Paul. Let me help you.”
He sighed, shaking his head, "I loved a Fremen woman, but she left when I ascended the throne. She hates everything I stand for. She didn't believe in the Lisan al Gaib. She thought I wanted to control her people. I betrayed her by seeking power. In avenging my father, I lost her."
You nodded, understanding why he had turned to the spice bottles, "I've never been in love. But I imagine losing it is very hard to deal with. I know you're hurting, but it sounds like you met a strong woman and had a great love. Not everyone gets that." You couldn't help but feel jealous. You hoped the marriage arranged for you one day would be a love match. But you were also jealous of this mysterious Fremen woman that had Paul's heart.
"I will always love her. I've seen many futures of her coming back to me, of me finding her. I don't know if any of those visions will come to be, but I will love her as long as I breathe."
Your heart sank, coming to realize that he may never love you that way. You swallowed, "I can only hope that I will feel that way about someone one day."
Paul took your hand, "I'm certain you will. You should know that I am, and have always been, very fond of you. So, it would be easy to get a man to fall in love with you." he smirked, "Especially if you use your Bene Gesserit tricks."' he winked.
"This Fremen woman, what was her name?"
"Chani. My Sihaya." he looked away, but he couldn't stop the smile on his face, but it was quickly replaced with sorrow.
"Sihaya? Desert spring, right?" Things were falling into place for you.
"Yeah. She hated that name. She preferred Chani."
"The prophecy. She was part of it." you whispered to yourself, realizing.
"Which is why she hated it." Paul concluded.
You stood there a moment, looking at the moons, soaking in the view. Now you knew that Paul would never want to be with you. He couldn't, even if he wanted to. He and this Chani were in the same prophecy. It was fated.
"I'm going to go to bed. You should do the same. Goodnight, my lord." you let go of his hand, and gave him a short curtsy.
He gave you a nod that felt strangely formal. You could somehow feel the intimacy between the two of you fading away as you left for your room.
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hi, so idk if u still write for canucks nils hoglander, so if you don't im so sorry for bothering you. if you do, would you be able to write an imagine where nils is interested in one of the canucks employees, like social media or reporter and is trying to ask her out but fails multiple times before eventually with some help asking her out?
You're A Forbidden Delicacy, And I Won't Leave A Crumb
Hey y’all! And hello to the lovely requester! I still do write for Nils, so thank you for the request (which I really love and got carried away with). I really apologize to everyone for how long this has taken me, my life has been all over the place and I am still trying to get things sorted out, but I truly, from the bottom of my heart appreciate the patience you all have. This is a Nils Höglander fic, with a F!Reporter!Reader, which is a little longer than what my stories are normally. I hope you all enjoy this fic, and please remember to take care of yourself!
Word Count: 6.1k
Pairing: Nils Höglander x F!Reader
Warnings: Romantic tension, kissing? (Let me know if I need to add anything)
—
—
A knock was heard on the door to her office, where she was deep in her work preparing for tonight’s game, followed by the familiar voice of her colleague and friend.
“Hey lovely! Here are the spreadsheets and rundown of the stats from the last three games,” her friend said, setting a few papers on her desk.
She smiled back and felt a wave of relief. “Thank you,” she sighed. “I was wondering when the stats would come in from my favorite data analyst.”
“Oh, stop,” she chuckled. “You know how playoffs are.”
She nodded in agreement, noticing that the energy within the air, and more specifically, the arena, was more electrifying than ever.
Looking up from the documents, she saw one of the players walk by the door, giving her a smile and a friendly wave before walking off. She knew him, Nils Höglander, but she had only had small-talk and nothing more.
Her friend looked over her shoulder, a knowing smile appearing on her face. “Someone caught your eye?”
The blush on her face seemed to intensify, almost shamefully like a kid caught with candy. “No—” Taking a quick sip of her water, she hoped that the warmth on her face eased up.
“Alright, take it easy, go Canucks!” she cheered as she walked out of the office.
A smile made its way to her face as she turned back to her work. “Go Canucks!”
An hour or two passed by as she worked on reading the documents, preparing how she was going to announce the pregame reports, and making sure everything was finalized and set.
It was a fun, fast-paced job that kept her on her toes constantly, and she thrived in it, living in the rush and wanting more of the adrenaline. More rowdiness from the fans, more chants and cheers, and more passion from the city that was hungry for a cup.
“Hello?”
She drew her attention away from her laptop and towards her door, where she saw Quinn standing there, gear still on from the morning skate and practice.
“Hi Quinn, how can I help you?”
He scanned her desk, seemingly searching for something before his eyes landed on her coffee.
“What’s your go-to Tim’s order?” he asked.
She looked at him quizzically, wondering why he asked such a question out of the blue, but didn’t think too much about it. “Vanilla latte, why?”
“Nothin’” he shrugged, clearly more than nothing. “Have a nice day.” He walked away with a sly smile, making her more confused than nothing.
“You…too, Quinn,” she said, looking at her coffee with suspicion.
As she took a sip, it tasted the same still, maybe a little more room temperature, but nothing odd or wrong.
A few more hours passed, and before she knew it, the clock was counting down till puck drop. The arena already felt alive, the familiar blue and green decor that hung around her office reminding her.
She got up from her desk, making her way out of her office as her shoes tapped on the floor, echoing down the hall. Having all the important information and stats in her mind, she felt confident about how tonight’s game will go.
When she made it near the rink, she was greeted by a few other of her co-workers, as well as the media crew for the team, gear and equipment and smiles all set. The ice in the rink looked fresh and crisp, ready for a tough game.
“Ready for Game Six?” One of her co-workers asked.
She smiled and straightened up her posture, pride swelling within her. “Born ready. Go ‘Nucks.”
As the camera went live, everything else came naturally to her. The confidence, the excitement, and the adrenaline.
“Welcome back to Bridgestone Arena everyone, where tonight, the Canucks will face off again against the Nashville Predators in Game Six of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, hoping to eliminate the Predators, and advance to the second round.”
The arena started to fill up with fans, mainly fans of the Predators, but there were a few Canucks jerseys spread throughout.
Skaters headed out onto the ice, preparing to warm up as the arena cheered for each side, hoping that their team would win tonight’s game.
Adrenaline. Euphoria. Pride. So many emotions swelling inside of her, and she felt so alive and yet lost in a dream.
“As the Canucks hope to grab a win, the spotlight stands on the top players, with Boeser having four goals in this post-season, all within the past three games, and J.T. Miller with six points, pushing the Canucks forward in the playoffs,”
The statistics sounded impressive, and even on paper they looked unbelievable, but it was the Canucks, and she saw the potential long ago as they were developing.
One player especially caught her eye, but she would never admit to who, because it was mainly extremely unprofessional of her, and also because of the complications it could bring up.
And as if the devil cursed her thoughts, she met his eyes as the media crew was moved behind the bench, sharing a smile as he went and got a quick sip of his water before skating back out onto the ice.
“Hoping Höglander scores huh?”
She turned her head quickly to the voice her friend before turning away, hoping she didn’t see the blush that was dusted on her cheeks.
“Best hope is that every Canuck scores one,” she laughed, trying to push the topic somewhere else.
Her friend let out an exasperated sigh, “Oh gosh, and I’d be the one needing to calculate all the stats,”
As the warmups came to an end, a few of the players returned to the bench, Nils being one of them, and he gave her a quick smile and wave before refocusing on the game that his teammates were playing.
With quick plays and quick movements, the puck moved up and down the ice, from offense to defense, keeping everyone in the arena on their toes.
Fans roared with each close call, the atmosphere buzzing, static in the air, and before she knew it, the first intermission was starting.
The players poured into the tunnel, making their way back to the locker room after no goals from either team in the first period. Tensions still felt high, like a cord that could snap at any moment.
She waited out on the bench, fiddling with a pen and her notepad as her manager was trying to find one of the players to interview for a brief moment, hoping to get a word or two about the current game.
After a few minutes, she saw Brock walking out with her manager, a gentle expression on his face as usual.
The interview went smoothly as the rest of the night did, with one goal from the Canucks that led to a win as they advanced to the next round of the playoffs.
In the locker room afterwards, the locker room was rowdy, players and coaches celebrating their win with as much energy as they could. It set the stage for greatness, hope lingering in the air for a long playoff run.
Across the locker room from the doorway she stood under, her eyes met Nils, looking slightly disheveled, a mess even, but he still looked so, fulfilling. He smiled when he noticed her gaze, his eyes crinkling up.
And as the night eased in, the sky outside a crisp darkness, she walked to her car in the parking lot, her work bag slung over her shoulder as she was ready to go home, exhausted, but at ease.
A gentle smile was plastered on her face, gratitude for every little thing she worked so hard for to end up in the career field she was in, all the work paying off.
As she reached for the car door, she saw a figure walking towards her, at a rather quick pace, and she rushed to try and unlock the car.
The footsteps came closer, near stomping against the ground, and she felt panic.
“Hey! Wait, I need to talk to you!”
Turning her head quickly, her unease didn’t seem to dissipate despite the slightly familiar voice.
She unlocked her door frantically, got inside and locked it immediately, trying to recompose herself, still clutching her bag against her.
The man tapped on the window, causing her to lose the color in her face for a quick moment before realizing that it was Nils.
Letting out a breath, relief filled her, but she quickly started to scold him. “Nils, what the hell!”
“Sorry, sorry, I wanted to ask you a question,” he said sheepishly, voice muffled by the fact that he was outside.
She rolled down the window, a tight lipped smile on her face. “Yes?” Noticing how he seemed to fidget awkwardly, her expression slowly changed to concern. “Is everything alright?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he responded. “I was just wondering if you wanted to grab dinner with me sometime, I’d like to get to know you more,”
His face was a pinkish tint, illuminated by the interior light of her car. A warm blush started to envelope her face at his question, but she knew it felt wrong.
“Nils, I’m sorry but as much as I would like that, it would be unprofessional for the both of us, and we could lose our job.” Her tone remained professional, but there was a twinge of somberness within it.
A disappointed, but understanding smile appeared on his face. “I get it.” He was still sweet as ever, and she even felt a little guilty at her answer. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Alright, have a good night Nils, you did great tonight,” she smiled.
Smiling back, he gave her a nod of appreciation. “You did as well. Have a good night,”
He walked away from her car, looking back only once to notice that she kept her eyes on him, but pulled away when he saw.
She drove away, off into the night where the traffic died down, and where the Vancouver glow was as dreamy as it always was to her, an ageless magic.
Morning came, sunrise bright and early as she arrived back at the arena. There was no game planned for the day, only practice and training to prepare for the next game.
As she walked down the hall to her office, she noticed that her door was open, despite having locked it the night before. The only people who were also in the arena as early as her were the players, coaches, and athletic trainers.
Stepping into her office, she saw a cup of coffee placed on her desk, along with a sticky note beside it. It smelt familiar, and as she took a sip, she noticed that it was her order.
She read the sticky note, and it was a sweet message from Nils hoping that her day would go well, and a smile drawn at the end.
It was a sweet gesture, and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling at the note as she read it over again, somehow trying to dissect a deeper meaning.
“Oh, so you found it,” Quinn chuckled.
Startled by his sudden presence, she jumped, spilling a little bit of coffee on her sweater.
“Ow!” Yelping in slight pain, her face was hot in embarrassment. “Sorry, I’m okay,” she laughed nervously, attempting to somehow magically wipe the stain away.
“I should apologize,” he said, grabbing some tissues from her desk. “Nils is not going to be too happy with me for making you spill coffee on your clothes,”
Like clockwork, he walked by her office and saw the commotion, brow perked up in curiosity. “What about me?”
Turning her head over to look at him, she had a sheepish smile, still holding the note and coffee in her hands. “Hi, Nils.”
He noticed the stain on her clothes, and motioned to her to give him a minute as he ran off, leaving both Quinn and her confused.
Setting the tissues on the table, he muttered out an apology before running off after Nils down the hall.
Now, she was even more confused, unsure of everything that had happened. Putting everything down, she settled on just starting on her work, checking emails and the schedule for the day.
Minutes passed by, and her friend knocked on the door to her office, handing her the spreadsheets of the statistics.
“Good morning lovely, I got you your stats in case anyone was up for interviews today,” she said, still sweet as ever.
Giving her a light laugh, she shook her head. “Thanks, but no thanks. Spilled coffee on myself and I don’t think I’d like to be on camera today.” She pointed to her clothes.
“Awh, really? That’s terrible,” she sighed, sitting down in the chair in front of her desk. “If I had a spare shirt, I’d give it to you in a heartbeat.”
She put her hand over her heart, “Really? You’re always so sweet,”
Another knock came on her door, and they both looked up from her laptop and documents. Nils was standing here under the doorframe, holding a Canucks sweatshirt in his hands.
“Did I interrupt something?” His voice was barely above a whisper, careful and cautious.
She shook her head with a smile, motioning for him to come in. “Not at all,”
Her friend gave her a smirk and a knowing look. “I need to go get something from my office, see you near the rink,” she said, standing up and walking out of her office.
It was just him standing and her sitting in the office now, the hum of her speakers playing music softly, and time flowed like a river of honey.
The way he looked at her was gentle, warm, and she wanted him to keep looking at her like this forever. His slightly disheveled hair made him look even more raw, something in its purest form.
“I got you one of my sweatshirts,” he spoke softly, afraid to break the air that seemed so intoxicating. “So you don’t have to wear the one with the coffee stain.”
His eyes seemed to observe her every movement, trailing up her arm and to her face as she looked up at him.
She placed her hand on his forearm cautiously, afraid of him pulling away. “You didn’t have to Nils, I’m alright.”
Shaking his head, he wouldn’t take her words. “I insist,”
Her hand moved towards the sweatshirt hesitantly, eyes still looking at him, and stopping before actually reaching it.
“It’ll look better on you, and probably more comfortable.” His voice was quiet, his words easing from his lips.
Silently nodding, she accepted the sweatshirt from his hands as he kept his gaze on her. The air was hot and thick, like a jelly-dessert with extra sweet whipped cream dolloped on the top, a tart maraschino reminding her of the consequences if she made a mistake.
She got up from her desk, walking over to the door of her office. “I’ll go change into this, you can stay a little longer.” Twisting the doorknob, she walked out, leaving Nils still standing there in her office, leaning against the desk.
When she came back from the bathroom, his Canucks sweatshirt on her loosely, holding her stained sweater, he was still there, just as she hoped, but yet, she felt the fear of being caught creeping up on her.
“Don’t you have practice?” she asked, voice careful.
He tilted his head quizzically, almost pondering her words delicately. “You know I have more than a few minutes to spare,” he said, walking over to her. “Most of the guys don’t come into the locker room until ten anyways.”
His hand trailed to the bottom hem of her sweatshirt, fiddling with the fabric between his fingers. Looking up at her, he searched for any sign of discomfort, and she stood there, looking back at him, blushed and flustered, wanting more of him.
“Don’t be so nervous, it’s just us in here,” he whispered. “This looks a lot better on you than it does on me, keep it.”
As he let go of the sweatshirt, she found herself wanting to feel his touch on it again, but when she looked up, he was already waving good-bye as he walked out of her office.
A sigh escaped her lips, unaware of the breath that she held. She walked back to her desk, flipping through the documents as she waited for time to pass.
None of it felt real. The past few moments, or even days, were slightly different and odd. Maybe it was the rush of the playoffs, skewing everything into a different perspective, or maybe, it was something else that she was too afraid to admit.
Her phone buzzed on her desk, causing her to be pulled away from her work.
We need you near the ice right now - Fav Data Analyst
No you don’t?
Yeah you’re right, but I miss you :( - Fav Data Analyst
Okay, be down in a bit
Smiling at the messages, she felt grateful for how tight-knit the crew seemed to be, feeling like a second family.
Shortly later, she was met with the smile and wave of her friend, calling her over to the bench. A few other members of the media and training crew were also at the bench, watching the practice unfold in front of them.
“So glad you’re here, it gets a little lonely,”
She looked at her in slight confusion, “With all these people around you?” She gestured.
“They’re not you,” her friend shrugged.
Laughing at her words, she noticed that it caught the attention of Nils on the ice, his eyes almost burning into her for a brief moment.
“You’re such a flirt, unnecessary.”
Her friend raised a brow at her, observing the sweatshirt that she was wearing. “I think that the only thing unnecessary is the fact that I’m one-hundred percent sure I’ve seen that sweatshirt somewhere,”
Rose tinted her cheeks as she felt slightly embarrassed, knowing that her friend knew exactly where she got the sweatshirt from.
A few minutes passed by, and she saw that Nils was skating back to the bench to grab a drink of his water. The way he looked at her while taking a sip could only be described as desire, eyeing her up like a kid looking at pastries from outside the glass.
His scruff seemed to fit him perfectly, rough and raw, and at the same time, gentle like himself. The playoffs definitely ignited something in him, and she found herself wanting to watch it all.
Before she could realize, practice was over, and the players were skating off of the ice one by one. Grabbing her bag, she walked back up to where her office was.
It was nearing lunch time, but she wanted to tidy up her office space a bit before heading out. She put the documents that her friend gave to her in a folder, placing it inside of her bag along with her laptop.
The cup of coffee from Nils was still on her desk, finished and empty, and so she threw it in the trash, but kept the handwritten note.
As she locked the door to her office, she turned around and bumped directly into Nils, crashing into him.
“Shoot! I’m so sorry—”
“You’re okay.”
His strong hands were placed on the sides of her arms, stabilizing her. Looking at him, he was slightly flushed, a bead of sweat or two lining his brow from the practice.
“Sorry, where are you headed?” he asked, hands quickly moving off of her when he noticed what he was doing. “Just wondering, I don’t mean to be weird or anything—”
“Don’t worry about it, Nils. I’m just headed to the Chipotle nearby for a quick lunch,” she said lightly, almost caught off guard by how less bold he seemed compared to earlier.
A bright smile appeared on his face, “Oh, really? Because I was just about to head over too,” he laughed, a sweet blush dusting his face.
“Awh, that’s neat.” Her response was less than what she wanted to say, but she wanted to keep it professional.
They both walked towards the exit of the arena together, silence shared between the both of them as they were greeted by the warm weather, unfamiliar for Vancouver.
The streets were busy as usual, the rush of traffic coming and going, but it didn’t bother her since she was walking, not driving. As much as she hated traffic, she couldn’t deny the fact that it looked mesmerizing from afar at night, the glow of the headlights mimicking the city.
When she arrived at the restaurant, it was jam packed with people, not surprising for the time of day, but it was something that she wasn’t expecting.
She felt an arm nudge her side, drawing her attention towards Nils.
“I’ll pay for our food, it’s on me,”
“You don’t have to—”
He shook his head in disagreement, motioning for her to get in the queue with him, to which she followed behind him as they waited in line.
Her eyes scanned the room nervously, hoping to not see her boss or any of her co-workers at the restaurant since she was out with Nils.
If she was caught, she could potentially lose her job, which meant everything to her, but more importantly, she would have to be away from those she grew closest to. Away from Vancouver, and away from Nils.
And as if on cue, he started speaking, only loud enough for the both of them to hear. “Management won’t fire us for having a friendly lunch together, we’re okay,”
She simply nodded in response, a tight-lipped smile that still had a hint of unease to it.
After they got their orders, they decided to go back into the arena to eat rather than at the restaurant, food in hand as they walked there. It was a quiet and peaceful walk, but the weather started to turn into a cloudy gray, rain threatening to fall.
Looking up at the sky, she could tell it was only going to get worse. “Weather doesn’t look too good,” she mumbled, hoping that her papers wouldn’t get ruined.
He hummed in response, also looking up at the sky. “We should hurry,”
“Oh, really?” Her tone was sarcastic as she laughed, which in turn caused him to laugh as well.
He had a mischievous look in his eyes, and she knew that he had something in mind. “I’ll race you to the lounge in the arena,”
Before she could speak, he was already sprinting in the direction of the arena, and she followed suit, wondering how she would even catch up.
While she was running after him, she saw Elias near the front, most likely waiting for his food to be delivered.
“Petey! I need you to do a quick favor for me please,” she blurted, slightly out of breath.
He looked at her in confusion, sliding his phone back into his pocket. “Yeah?”
“I need you to unlock the lounge door.”
Shrugging, he led the way to the elevator as they headed up to the floor that the lounge was on. He then unlocked the door, to which she thanked him plenty of times for as he walked back to get his own food.
Throwing herself onto one of the chairs that was in the lounge, she let out a sigh of relief, food still in the bag and unopened.
“How on earth did you get here before me—”
She turned her head to the door, seeing Nils there, panting, out of breath, hand holding onto the door frame. His hair was soaked, dripping onto his shirt, most likely from the rain that started to fall harder since she got inside.
“I went through the front entrance,” she said nonchalantly. “Why?”
A surprised look was scrawled on his face. “The front entrance wasn’t under construction?”
She shook her head to his question.
“Why did Petey tell me that it was?”
A laugh bubbled out from her throat, causing her to hunch over as he sat down across from her. “Petey—he—let me in and use the elevator and pass to get in the lounge with no hesitation,”
While she found the situation hilarious, he on the other hand, was embarrassed, face flushed red.
“You owe me lunch next, that was foul play.” He opened his bag and started eating his burrito bowl, sitting comfortably on the couch.
Her lunch was already in her hands, the warmth radiating from it nicely as she got cozy. “Nope.”
They both ate quietly in the lounge, the sound of the rain tapping on the windows gently as Vancouver became a grayish gloom, completely different from the warm, comforting glow of the lounge lights.
It felt eerily domestic, the quiet peace, the shared, comforting silence, too strange to even consider it something just in the workplace between Nils and her. It felt like something that she could get lost into so easily, something along the lines of a classic fairytale romance.
“What’cha staring at?”
His voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and a rose-tinted blush was dusted over her face as she averted her glance.
“Nothing, just lost in thought,” she shrugged, hoping to play it off.
Her food was nearly finished, only small bits and scraps left which she prodded with her fork as she was deciding on whether or not she should throw it away or take it home.
The phone in her pocket buzzed, causing her to get up and throw the food away before excusing herself, walking into the hall to pick up the call.
“Hello?”
The familiar voice of her friend could be heard through the phone. “Hey, where are you? I thought you would be in the office by now.”
“Oh, sorry. I got caught up with something. Do you need me there now?”
“More like caught up with someone,”
Even through the phone, she could tell that her friend was giving her a knowing look accompanied with a wink.
“But anyways, I don’t need you ASAP but just enjoy your lunch with that special someone. Get back to me when you can.”
She let out a sigh, having already been outside the lounge. “Will do, love you lots.”
Her friend reciprocated the departure as she hung up, sliding the phone back into her pocket as she made her way to her office.
Nils left the lounge shortly after she hung up the phone, but he heard the last part of her call, which set him on edge. He didn’t know much about her personal life, and he wasn’t even sure if he was overstepping some personal boundaries of hers.
As the days passed, tensions rose in the arena as the Canucks went against the Oilers. Everyone felt restless, unease, not being able to properly get comfortable. Even after each win, it still felt like it wasn’t enough.
She stared at her laptop screen, sifting through the goals scored and other notable statistics of each game, somehow searching for a way to win with full certainty. Her fingers tapped against the desk nervously, and it felt like every poster and memorabilia on the wall was a relic to pray to.
The sound of childish bickering could be heard outside of her office, and she leaned back to try and get a glance at who it was. “Come in? The door is open I think—”
Her door swung open, and there stood a flustered Nils and a giggly Quinn attempting to push him into the room, whispering some sort of encouragement.
“Is everything alright?” She turned her chair to face the door, slowly getting up.
His playoff beard was starting to grow more, giving him a more masculine look that made her slightly weak, but he still kept a soft gentleness that she always liked from him.
“If I score tonight, will you get dinner with me?” Nils’s voice was quiet and nervous, but Quinn still stood in the doorway, waiting for a response from her.
She gave him a smirk, and she felt a wave of boldness overcome her. “I know you’ll score anyways, but we have a deal,”
He smiled with a blush and waved her goodbye as he ushered Quinn and him out of her office.
Time didn’t seem to pass quick enough, and she found herself pacing back and forth from her office to the rink. She had already prepared her report, all the information and stats needed for the pre-game announcements.
Taking in a deep breath, she tried to remind herself that the game would go well, but the pre-game jitters still ran rampant inside of her.
At the end of the hall, she could see her friend waving her over, holding something in her hands. As she walked closer, she could see that it was two Canucks jerseys, unnumbered and unnamed.
“I didn’t know which one you’d want—well I did know, but I didn’t want any rumors to spread for professionalism’s sake—so I got you a jersey for the game tonight.” She smiled.
It made sense, but she didn’t know why she was allowed to wear a jersey tonight. “Management let you?” she said, confused.
“Yeah, odd, but I don’t mind it.” She placed the jersey in her hands, the athletic material brushing against her palms. “Hoping we snag a win tonight,”
She let out a sigh, anxious but hopeful. “Me too,”
A few minutes before puck drop, she stood near the glass beside the rink, the blue and green lights of the arena giving the place an eerie glow.
Her jersey was on, Canucks emblem proudly displayed on the front as she got ready to give the pre-game report.
“Welcome everyone to Rogers Arena where the Canucks are facing off tonight against the Edmonton Oilers, hoping to get a win in this series. Tonight, the focus and spotlight is shifted onto our players to watch, having performed greatly these past few games,”
The camera was then panned to the players practicing on the ice as she moved to the bench, standing behind the players beside the coaches and athletic crew.
And as the game started, the arena was tense. The sounds of the stick smacking on the ice could be heard, cheering, chanting, and puck calling all too familiar. The building was loud and the fans were riled up, hoping to not be let down.
Minutes passed by, and the puck was being moved up and down the ice, and just as it made it into the offensive zone for the Canucks, leading to a goal for Elias Petterson.
Fans cheered and shouted as the goal horn went off, banners flying and waving through the air as the players celebrated the first goal of the game.
She cheered from the bench as well, celebrating with her colleagues and friends, full of adrenaline and joy. Even though Nils hadn’t scored yet, she was still hopeful that he would, having seen a couple of close calls that bounced off of the post or barely stopped by the goalie.
As the first period came to an end, the players filed off into the locker room as the media crew and her gave a quick first intermission report.
She could feel her heart beating in her chest, the oh so familiar feeling of being high with the rush of energy, the way it felt so unreal despite experiencing it over and over again.
Before she knew it, the second period was starting, players in their position in the neutral zone waiting for the puck to hit the ice. Her eyes watched every player carefully, observing each number and and keeping note of who is where and when at every second.
When she saw Nils get onto the ice, time felt like it was solid as she held her breath.
He weaved through the other players, gaining possession of the puck before passing it back to Quinn.
As the goalie thought Quinn was going to shoot, he passed it back to Nils, who scored a wrist shot that went over the goalie and into the goal.
The horn went off as the fans started to cheer wildly, the players celebrating on the ice again with picturesque smiles and hugs while she was on the bench, face dusted with a blush as she tried her hardest to play it off as over-exerted cheering.
She could see the smirk on his face, knowing that the deal was already set, and she could also see how Quinn was pointing at Nils, most likely teasing him about the bet.
The game went on, slower than what she wanted, but by the end of it all, it was a two-nothing victory for the Canucks, leading to a happy team, and more specifically, a happy Nils. The locker room was amped, music blaring as she walked by, the sound of grown men trying their best to sing along, and a smile scrawled on her face.
She had already done the post-game report, albeit, a very rushed one with a flustered look on her face, but she tried her hardest to remain as professional as possible. Her bag was packed and all ready to head home, files and papers in folders, laptop in its case, and every muscle in her body felt ready to collapse.
The rain was rampant outside, splashing in puddles outside on the concrete, and she knew she had to either be quick, or deal with a soaked jersey, and the last option did not sound too pleasant.
Staring into the now empty parking lot, she allowed herself to take a few deep breaths in, feeling the cool air fill her lungs, and breathing out, with her muscles relaxing.
She could hear footsteps behind her, but like a second instinct, she knew exactly who it was.
“Nils,” she said quietly.
He paused before taking another step towards her, the air now seemingly filled with a static. “You’re going to catch a cold,”
“You as well.”
A small chuckle escaped his lips, followed by a sigh. “Let’s get to your car first, then we’ll talk,”
She led the way to her car, hair becoming more messy and soaked from the rain. When she looked back, she saw Nils following behind her, but he looked even more tempting with his unkempt hair.
Placing her bag in the car, she turned back to Nils, seeing him stand there waiting for her.
He looked at her, observing every detail of her with no shame. “That jersey looks beautiful on you, ya’know?”
“Oh, stop it, Nils,” she blushed. “When and where is the dinner I was promised?”
Pulling out his phone, he asked for her number, to which she gave him it. She had trust that he would actually follow through with his promise, and so she didn’t ask for him to check it again.
“I mean it, you look gorgeous and always have. Even right now.”
She looked up at him, admiring his features silently for a few while her fingers ghosted over the lapel of his suit.
“May I?” He asked, hand hovering over the small of her back.
As soon as she nodded, he pulled her into a tender kiss, lips pressed against hers. It felt like everything from the past few weeks all started to become worth it, the waiting, the stares and glances. All of it.
The rain continued to fall between them, cold against the warmth of their bodies, and she didn’t want to pull away any time soon.
Her eyes remained shut, but she knew he looked so handsome with his lips pressed to hers. His scruff was scratching against her face, but she knew that she wouldn’t ever mind it at all.
Butterflies were loose inside of her, fluttering wildly as if she waited for this moment for far too long.
His touch, his fingers against her chin was full of sparks, and his other hand on her back seemed to be the only thing grounding her to reality, reminding her that this moment was real, and forever in her memories.
When they both finally pulled away, breathing heavily, their lips were swollen and tender, smiles painted on their faces.
He had a sort of angelic glow to him, ethereally irresistible, and she pulled him in for a quick peck once more.
“Can’t get enough of me already?” He chuckled.
She shook her head as she opened her car door, sitting inside as she gave him a gentle smile. “Could never get enough of you.”
He took her hand in his palm, giving it a gentle kiss before he waved goodbye to her again. “Please, get home safe,”
“Will do, Nils. I’ll see you tomorrow,”
As she drove off with a dopey smile, she could still feel the warmth of him and each touch of his vividly, and she knew the glow of the lights in Vancouver would never be the same again.
#nhl#hockey#nhl hockey#nhl writing#nhl fic#hockey fic#hockey imagine#vancouver canucks fluff#vancouver canucks#nils hoglander fluff#nils hoglander#nils hoglander x reader#nils hoglander imagine#nils hoglander fic#nils höglander#nils höglander x reader
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The content that I'm bringing next ✨
I thought I could give you a hint of the content I'm preparing in order to bring it during this week and next month! I'm taking my time to create it all, so that's why it's not gonna be posted right away, but I hope you'll like to read everything as I share it! 💖
I'll start with some regular posts and then I'll focus on my writing 🥰
-Get to know me. I mentioned a while back that I thought it'd be fine to share a little bit of myself with you so you can get to know me a bit better, and I'm currently working on this one and trying to think of as many things as possible so as to make it, you know... interesting? 😅 I don't really know how to describe it, but in any case, it's in the works!
-A masterpost. Just like the first one, I also mentioned that I'd like to create one at last, as I've posted a few stories and two headcanon posts already, and I want you guys to find them as easily as possible whenever you'd like to. This is gonna take a bit longer, because Tumblr's search tool doesn't work very well 😬 But I'll manage! 💪
-My pending asks. This is a bit embarrassing... I've had some asks waiting for a reply for months now and I'm so sorry that I've kept you waiting for so long 😅 Here's a promise: as soon as I've posted at least one of my pending fics (more about this below), I'll start gradually and slowly answering all the asks that I have left. I wanna give each and every one of you the proper replies you deserve, which is why I warned that I'd take some time, but that's one thing. Taking forever is very different and I'm truly so sorry 😅
-May and June calendars. Don't know if you've seen some of my calendar posts, but I happen to have two Nintendo calendars for this year and I've been showing them since January (here's the February one since I can't find the others lol), but sometimes I simply forget to share the one for the new month and it gets delayed... Shame on me again 😅 I intend to show May this week since it's technically still May, and I'll make sure to not let many days of June pass before I show the ones corresponding to that month 🥰
-Tons of reblogs! I've already started doing this actually, as I've been tagged in a lot of amazing content, and even if I'm slow, I wanna see everything and leave proper feedback when I have the chance 🥰 Thank you again to those of you who tagged me! And for your patience as well 🫂💖💖
And now... let's talk about...
✨📝 MY WRITING 📝✨
-My Kitsune/Tanooki story. This one is coming soon, and when I say soon, I mean this week! 😁 I would've liked to post it mid May, but life wouldn't let me, but hey, better late than never! 🥰 I'm now in the process of editing and I intend to start translating tomorrow, and that usually doesn't take long, so you can expect this one at the end of the week 👀 Hope you'll like it! 💖
-Anything for him: Chapter 3. As I've mentioned a few times, this last chapter is long overdue and I'm ashamed that I'm taking SO long to finish it as I know very well what's going to happen! 😅 Still, once my Kitsune/Tanooki fic is up, this is the next thing I intend to fully work on, and even though I'm not sure to give a specific date, I would like to post it in June at last. Wish me luck in achieving this! 🤞🤞🤞
-Post-nightmare cuddles fic. Okay, it's been a few months already, but... anyone remember this writing prompt? I happened to receive a couple of suggestions in my inbox, and even though I wrote and posted the first one back in March, I wasn't able to finish the second one as I wasn't in the mood for angst when I first tried. But that's changed! 🤩 I'm CRAVING to write some angst, so this is gonna be the third thing on my writing list, and, again, I'd like to post it in June. I'll let you know if I succeed! 🤞🤞🤞
Also, if you're curious, you can read the other prompt here 👇
-And last but not least... did anyone say...
... an AU? 🤔
Yyyyyyes! That's right! 😁 I've recently started working on my very first AU and I am SO happy 🤩 I'm really SO excited about this one! I don't know yet how long it'll take until I'm ready to start posting it, but this is the thing that I mentioned yesterday that I keep getting new ideas for almost every single day 🤩
I'm not gonna say yet what it's based on, as I want it to be a surprise when I finally start sharing it with you guys, but it contains EVERYTHING that I love and that many of you love as well, so... I believe you'll like this one when it's ready 🤭 Maybe when I work a bit more on it and see a release date coming closer I'll go and tell you what it's about, but for now... I'll just keep working on it and enjoying every single word that I'm writing 😁
I really hope you'll like all of this once I start sharing it! As you see, I'm a big fan of making lists 😂 That's the way I usually organize everything that I have to do every day and such, and I thought that maybe sharing this, I'll have it a bit easier to focus and really bring all of it to this blog, even if I'm slow. Still, just know that I'm truly enjoying the process of creating not only the written fics (and the AU 🤭), but also the posts that I wanna bring soon 🥰
If you read everything, thank you! I know I tend to talk a lot lol, so I really appreciate it! Love you so much! 💖💖💖
#future content#the posts that I'm bringing#the fics I'm working on#new story coming this week#new fic coming this week#my very first AU#an AU is coming soon!#I'm seriously so excited 🤩#I hope you'll like it! as well as the fics and the posts that I'll bring!#thank you again if you read everything#I talk too much 😅#hope you're looking forward to all of this though!#super mario bros#new mario content coming soon#my fics#my writing#silenzahra
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Alfred Molinathon Day 1:
Species (1995)
Dr. Stephen Arden
His Role: His character doesn't have too much to do until near the end of the movie. During the containment lab scene, I just thought that he reminded me of some kid in the back of a classroom who sometimes chimes into the conversation or scene of the main characters. I don't know why.
Also, when the cast is waiting for Sil to arrive back to the club, him thinking it's a waste of time and decides to just opt out and sleep in the van is very relatable to me. That's what I do half the time at boring events.
When it is his time to shine, we get to see some of his personality, which is that he can be quite fun! Him hanging out with the other guys was really fun to see, I really enjoyed when him and Dan shared time together, I really wish we got more of the two! Although iffy on the whole letting Dan think long island iced tea was just tea and him not feeling good afterwards.
(This is a funny picture)
Arden shooting his shot with those two ladies was hilarious. He tried, but he didn't even properly ask if they had dates or not.
And the final scene with him... he really just bought what Sil (not knowing it's her) said? Like even if I was very horny and lonely, I would still be really freaked out if someone broke into my room because they were interested in me. Just saying. I was also really afraid I was gonna finally see someone's dick in those movie and it was gonna be his, but thankfully not (I don't like see anyone's penis, no thank)... but there is dick, we'll get back to that.
So he successfully knocks up Sil (not intentionally on his part) and gets killed. Which I already knew was gonna happen, I haven't watched this movie before, but I knew the general plot and that he died. I didn't enjoy the fact that his death only gets brought up once by Laura asking "Did you see him?" Like that's it. Nothing from Dan, I want to see him devastated! He's an empath!!!
I also thought it would have been more interesting if he was alive (not just because I wanna see more of Molina), just him grappling with the fact that he unintentionally help Sil with her goal and the other fact that he has a alien/human hybrid son! It would have been funny if someone said, "Your son tried to kill me, Arden!" Maybe him having mixed feelings that his son had to be killed or maybe this made-up version the son wouldn't be dead. I don't know!
Anyways, this character had more potential, but I enjoyed his last few scenes. Especially his bromance time with Dan.
Last thing: I was very envious of his hair. Give it to me, please.
~~~
The Rest of the Movie: I didn't expect to really enjoy this movie, but I did and I'm glad. I heavily judged it solely on Sil's alien form... yes really.
I was really surprised that I liked both plots of the movie (Sil on the prowl and the team hunting her down), and the romance between Press and Laura? I actually love it. It was kinda cute, I don't always like romances happening quickly but this was good.
Laura: You want to dance?
Press: Who, me?
Laura: Yeah, you.
God, I love how she delivers that line! Gently mocking his voice. And her saying "cute socks" when they're about to have sex was adorable.
~~~
I really liked Dan the empath but I don't fully know if he was supposed to be kind of a joke? Like him stating his empathic yet obvious observations and how everyone reacts to that. He kind of reminded me of Padparadscha Sapphire form SU, just a bit.
Like I said earlier, since we saw plenty of scenes of Press and Laura, I wish we saw more of Arden and Dan.
~~~
Sil's journey and mission throughout the movie was interesting, but her alien design really bothered me. Like, were the tenta-tits really needed? I really got the Xenomorph and H.R. Giger vibes from the design, which I'm sure it was a huge inspiration. Actually, I looked it up, he did design her...
It was nice to see so many people being kind to who they thought was a foreign woman, even the motel guy! But that poor woman she uses to fake her death... her acting was incredible and heartbreaking.
~~~
Xavier... I didn't like anything about this character and the actor, I'm sorry, but I don't understand the direction he was given. Not his fault, but man I was happy when he died. I was also confused with the scene after Sil faked her death and she was in the other car if Sil just knew what he was gonna say or she was mind controlling him? Which doesn't show up anywhere else.
~~~
The horror aspect of this horror movie was not really there, which I didn't mind. It wasn't scary or anything, but I enjoyed the chase between the team and Sil and all the people Sil meets.
~~~
The last thing I want to add is the fact that I laughed way too hard at one scene. In the beginning, Xavier was talking about how Sil came to be and says:
"We decided to make it female so that it would be more docile and controllable."
And I hope that it would cut back to the only woman on the team, and yes, it did. I howled with laughter, probably wasn't that funny but it was to me.
Oh yeah the penis I mentioned? It was Sil and Adren's sons'... I didn't really wanna see a kids genitals. No thank you.
#Alfred Molinathon#I'm behind already I'm sorry!!!#Alfred Molina#Stephen Arden#Dr. Stephen Arden#Species 1995#Not really doing this in a specific order or anything
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hi! i always love your MDZS/CQL takes; can i ask what are the questions you think CQL is asking, as compared to MDZS?
I haven't actually revisited either canon in ages, which is making me nervous. what questions the novel is interested in can be pretty contentious all on its own! @mikkeneko has an excellent answer in the notes here which I reccomend to everyone. My own thoughts are honestly pretty scattered- I keep on deleting things and going hm, that's not quite right.
So, for the obvious-to-me example, people reasonably zero in on the creation of innocent doctors/radish farmers who Wen Ruohan is holding hostage. In CQL it's easy to infer that Wen Qing and Wen Ning are maybe the only cultivators and almost certainly the only combatants among the Wen remnants, and their status is much more ambiguous in the novel, which I personally think is asking, essentially, "and so what? were they wrong to run, when they had a chance? Do they deserve what Jin Guangshan will do to them if they go back? Aren't they just people, actually?" Whereas the question that CQL is asking is more to the effect of "What does Wen Qing owe these people, when she is their only defence? What is she entitled to do to save them, at other people's expense? If she fucks up that moral calculus, what then? Does it matter if she's personally fond of some of the outsiders who are going to get hurt? If one of them saved her brother? Later, this question will flip to what Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, and the parallel to Jiang Cheng's situation in particular is, I think, genuinely pretty fun. You're giving up the Wen as soldiers who've laid down their arms in exchange for Wen Qing also grappling with leadership and the question of how many horrors she can stand to look the other way on to protect her own people. one reason I keep deleting so much is that a lot cql's changes were motivated at least in part by censorship, which I think we mostly share a general and justified distaste for! but I also think that within the bounds of that censorship the creative team put a lot of work into actually doing something interesting with those changes. Or, for another example- nieyao! There's a much greater emphasis on the nmj-jgy relationship, it's unambiguously very close and they are clearly extremely important to one another, and I think that's because the cql team has a lot to say about love, trust, power, and the ways those things interact, and that reflects back on all of the other relationships in play, including Wangxian. Almost every time, when CQL chooses change a relationship they make the characters in question closer- that's true for Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji, for Wen Qing and the Yunmeng contingent, for Zixuan and Mianmian, and Huaisang and Meng Yao. It's even true for Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, who have a close and trusting relationship in first life! CQL puts a much greater emphasis on "all right, so you care, what next?" How do you choose someone and then choose to be good to them? What if there's a massive power disparity between you? What if you seriously disagree about your priorities and morals? How do you trust someone who's betrayed you? When is it a stupid choice to trust at all? How do you have faith that you know someone well enough for that trust to be meaningful?
for legal reasons i would like to specify that it's not that mdzs isn't interested in these problems. i do remember wangxian's literal trust fall. cql is asking these questions all the time about everyone. also for legal purposes i'm not suggesting that cql lwj and jc love each other. but! they establish a three month wartime partnership looking for wwx and then jc immediately drops him on wwx's say-so despite apparently having a positive enough opinion of him to tell wwx he thinks they should make up twice. lan wangji will later tell wwx he thinks he should loop jc in on the second flautist! these are people trying to navigate some kind of relationship/shared interest/community, as opposed to a hateful void. cql wants to say hey, how do you go about this? while I'm here and rambling cql also puts a lot of emphasis on wwx's connection to yunmeng and changes things up so instead of feeling alienated right before he leaves our last glimpse of him there is happily picking lotuses and playing with a kid! in both stories the narrative is asking who do you protect? who do you leave behind? can you ever get it back? but the angles are very different.
#why are there so many people who simultaneously argue that cql dumbs down mdzs and also that mdzs is the slow reveal of how wwx is a#perfect angel who has never done anything wrong in his life#being let down by everyone around him#surely you have to pick an option#but lan wangji and wei wuxian being close friends in the first life really does change everything#i have seen people (reasonably) be annoyed with this as an adaptation choice#but! i like this change a lot and i think they do interesting things with it#There's still a lot of emphasis on what makes them so particularly perfect for each other but imo moving Lan Wangji into the category of#people wwx loved in the first life#shifts the focus from#when will they get together#to#What it would take and what would they have to do for these people to have to do to have a successful partnership?#If loving someone is the first step what comes next? Who do I want to be to the people around me?#i love the focus on wwx's trust issues as trust issues! problems that he's had with lwj specifically before!#and the solution isn't just oh well lwj is perfectly trustworthy#though that's obviously part of it#wwx has to like. decide for himself to do some things differently this time around in order to reap the rewards of being really in it with#someone. and lwj does too! it's a journey they're on together#i have simply rambled in all directions i'm sorry anon
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day 26
someday if i can figure out how the hell people get these things made i would like to do some little destiny & malice acrylic charms. i think those are so fun. and while i mostly want them for Myself i figure that if i DID figure out the process, i should maybe open up the option to anyone else that might want them, soooo...
informal poll: if i figure out how all that works, would any of y'all be into that, and approximately how many of you?
#day 26#year 5#my ocs#destiny chainsaw#malice winterfang#i know i've said i don't really like the idea of commissions and this isnt like a PROMISE or anything#i still have a lot of research to do before i commit to a shop of any kind#BUT. i think like a redbubble or something in that vein might be a manageable project#i mention stickers specifically because that seems like a very manageable thing to produce and ship even if i didnt go through like#a service to do so#particularly because i dont think id get a TON of orders for my niche OCs lol#but if i got some practice with something small like this it MIIIIGHT help me build up to making things for a larger market like...#say... well you know what i'm about over here lmao#we've basically all but gotten the official blessings of the powers that be to make homestuck merch without fear of reprisal at this point#ANYWAY that would be a ways off and be a much MUCH bigger project both artistically and in terms of like#me learning how Online Commerce works from the seller end.#BUT I HAVE BEEN CONSIDERING IT. and it seems to me that it would at least be relatively simple to sell like. prints of old art maybe#i dunno! like i said i'll see how the poll shakes out while i do a bit more research
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I know this is like... unsolicited advice but have you considered moving from Redbubble? Aren't their royalties/artist margins on things waaaaay lower than other print on demand services?
this is my first time hearing that🤔 I looked at society6's margins a while ago and I think I remember it being about the same as redbubbles, but i haven't checked out much else so i don't know. if anyone has recommendations for other places to sell I could just sell on more than one lol
#i make p good money on redbubble especially for not having to really do any work for it#i mean the art itself obv takes work but I'm not making art specifically for redbubble id make art anyway without it#but i dont have to print or ship anything myself just upload the designs#also a p big benefit of redbubble over other print on demand services is#redbubble is super popular theres a ton of people on that website so there's more people to discover your art there#it’s also the only one I’ve actually ordered something from before so#I have an idea of the quality of their products
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listen to my royjamie playlist here if you want 👨❤️💋👨💞
#love that it starts with the legend of chavo guererro and ends with when kissed the teacher <333 insane arc <33#it’s not meticulous or anything but it is put in a specific order to follow their arc and all the songs are from jamie’s pov :)#royjamie#i also tried really hard for most of the songs to have a slight sport montage feel to them. like rocky and uptempo. besides the slower ones#not rocky as in the movie but the genre. i guess the movie too though lol#also this is very much a work in progress 🙈 the crj song could be replaced with a more fitting happy love song for example but it’ll do lol#also hopelessly devoted to you and i always knew dont really fit 😭#but i needed some buildup to when i kissed the teacher……. i’m really letting on how much effort i put into this lmao. and still not happy:(#ted lasso
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