#NOT claiming that i have seen a lot - but i’ve mentioned three *REALLY* well-known films in the past four days | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

maxwell-grant · 3 years

Note

Having asked your thoughts on designing Frankenstein's daemon, might I now ask your thoughts on bringing Count Dracula from the written word into illustration? (I'm definitely in favour of the 'Hairy Old Mountain Man of Horror pretending he's people' look from the original novel; one of the small tests too many Draculas fail to pass is an absolutely tragic lack of the Evil Beard and/or Wicked Moustache explicitly described by Mr Stoker).

Unlike with Frankenstein, where I think the design needs to be painstakingly thought out in order to achieve the best balance of the creature's traits for horror and tragedy alike, I think with Dracula you can actually just take an approach of "whatever works". Because as I mentioned before, I think much of the appeal and longevity of Dracula is how the character's both a layered villain as well as a shapeshifting narrative force that can be tailored to whatever you want to do with. Granted, there are bad or dissappointing Dracula designs, of course there are, but in regards to the leeway you get for reinterpretation, you get a lot more of it with Dracula than with other literary icons.

Like with Frankenstein, I'm gonna bring up how I'd tackle a less grim, more comedy-centric Dracula first, one that's less a force of horror and more of a charismatic villain, and I think to that end I definitely agree that people are sleeping a lot on the hairy old man barely-passing-off-as-humanoid of the original story. Despite very much loving these performers, I'm actually not a fan of takes that mold Dracula too closely to people who've portrayed him, like Bela Lugosi and Christopher Lee, partially because I think it's a waste of an opportunity to create your own Dracula design. Since I can't draw (yet), I'll do what I usually do and make a board of images to try and convey some of my thoughts on one way I'd design Dracula.

(Pictured: Kiwi's design for Dracula, Hotel Transylvania concept art, Nandor, Castlevania Dracula, Charles Dance in Dracula Untold, Vladislav, a Transylvanian rug)

I used the images in my other Dracula post and I’ll post it here again because I absolutely adore @kiwibyrd's designs for Dracula and it's main heroes, in particular I love the way it strikes a good balance at making sure Dracula looks distinctly separate from the humans, but not too much that he couldn't conceivably operate in society as just a harmless old man. I also adore the mustache and bushy eyebrows and pointy ears and I think these three are wonderful features to keep on any Dracula design. I'm also very partial to the Hotel Transylvania concept art, even if it makes me incredibly depressed to look at all the great designs they had for Dracula that they threw in the trash because they somehow decided making him look like Adam Sandler was the idea to go with.

I deeply adore What We Do In The Shadows, both the movie and the show, and Jemaine Clement's Vladislav is one of my favorite (maybe even my actual favorite) on-screen Draculas. But I also enjoy Nandor just as much, and I think it's really great that as a character he's completely different from Vlad while also being ostensibly a take on Dracula, and in particular I bring up his Jersey look because "Dracula in common clothing" is a criminally underrated concept for a joke.

As a character, I'm very partial to comedy takes on Dracula that play him up as a decadent aristocratic supervillain, the kind that can get away with talking in third person. I also have this idea for a version of Dracula who dresses ostentatiously in finely-broidered Romanian or Transylvanian patterns, maybe even wearing a rug as a cape, claiming that he's carrying the legacy of his people on his back. And of course he's lying, he's not Vlad Tepes and he's not even Romanian, he is just a parasite pretending to have a history to be proud of, but good luck getting him to admit that. And finally, I'd like this version to be played by Charles Dance, and I consider it a tremendous crime against humanity that he has yet to play Dracula proper even despite being in a film with the character's name on the title.

So that's kinda how I would design a take on Dracula for something more comedic or more based around him as this guest character and personality on-set. Now, if we're talking a more serious version, I think the possibilities increase, and I won't be getting into all of them because I may prefer to keep them to myself, but I'll elaborate a few ideas.

For example, the edition of Dracula I personally own comes with these really scratchy, really creepy B&W illustrations related to the story, that I can't find scanned online so I'm uploading them here so you can look at. They don't necessarily depict the scenes but rather some of the story's moments, like Van Helsing staking Lucy, Renfield in a straightjacket, Dracula as a coachman, and they are more focused on conveying the horror of the concepts at play.

Dracula never looks the same way in any of the illustrations, in fact you kinda have to piece him out of them by trying to find teeth or capes or eyes or bat-features to see where he's hiding this time. In the first, it's the half-man half-bat, in the 2nd, he's the shrieking bat silhouette next to Renfield, and in the latter, he's the gaping jaws and eerily humanoid eyes in the wolf. The effect to me almost feels like if you were to look at a bunch of tv static and then see a humanoid shape form for a split second before everything went back to normal, something like you'd get from Slender Man or other modern creepypastas, and I’ve argued before that Dracula’s form of horror is a very modern one.

In terms of illustrations of Dracula that keep up the original traits while still pulling off horror, I definitely have to hand it to the one at the left of the image above, drawn by regourso on Deviantart (account deleted at present). Going back to Castlevania’s many takes on Dracula, two in particular that stick out to me would be Castlevania: Judgment’s armored dress Dracula, who’s got this great twisted heart/rose motif going on in his outfit, and Dracula’s final form in SOTN where he just sits in his throne and his cape twists into all these monsters, particularly how it’s depicted by witnesstheabsurd’s depiction.

I’m not particularly a fan of how Dracula’s “final form” in these games is usually just some big demon, and part of what I like about his final form in SOTN instead is that, while it’s not a particularly challenging final boss, I do find it interesting the idea of us never actually getting to see what Dracula’s true final form looks like, only an ever-shifting pitch-black torrent of teeth and claws and bloody veins pouring out because that’s ultimately what Dracula is and brings to the world.

On the flip-side of the rotten old monster, we have the charming seductor Dracula, and while I’m really not a fan of how various adaptations have convinced people that “the point” of Dracula is that he’s a seductive force and an allegory for Victorian xenophobia and I’m reeeally even less of a fan of adaptations that make Dracula some misunderstood tragic hero (and I think I’ve made rather violently clear my feelings on interpretations that play up a romance between him and Mina), that the seductive force part exists is impossible to deny, so conversely, while on one hand we can have Dracula as the gargantuan whirlwind of predatory violence, we can also go for Dracula as the tantalizing lover.

I’ve seen a lot of opinions proclaiming Frank Langella as the best Dracula because he was the best at actually being seductive while still playing Dracula, although I haven’t yet seen his performances. If I had to point at one picture I look at and do buy for a second the idea of Dracula as a romantic character, it would be that particular still of Raul Julia in the left of the above image. And it’s strange for me to think of Raul Julia as attractive because I mainly associate him with his brilliant comedy performance of M.Bison (I know it’s far from the highlight of his career but, look, I grew up with Street Fighter, I can’t help it) but those eyes are definitely looking pretty convincing to me, if nothing else.

And I’ve included this still of Sebastian Stan in the right because, during a conversation between me, @krinsbez and @jcogginsa about who could be a good fit for Dracula, jcog suggested Sebastian Stan, partially because he’s Romanian, and I’ve learned recently that Stan was actually interested in playing the character in Blumhouse’s upcoming remake. And you’d think I’d hate this idea considering how much I don’t care for tragic anti-hero Draculas, but who says that’s what he’d have to play?

Do you have any idea how much actors, who are traditionally known for heroic or supporting roles, usually LOVE it when you give them a chance to cut loose as the main villain?

I’d want Sebastian Stan to put all of his charm, all of his talent, all of his good looks and etc, into playing the absolute most vicious, bloodthirsty and irredeemable Dracula put on screen. Someone who is exceedingly, eerily good at being a lovable protagonist, who’s all smiles and charming eyes and politeness mannerisms and maybe even a funny accent, and then it isn't as funny when he's flying through your window intent on kidnapping babies to feed to his brides, except he may take a moment or two to do so because he's feeling pretty hungry himself right now.

Now, admittedly this is kind of a lot to juggle in regards to a single character, which is why my answer for questions like these inevitably has to be “depends on what I’m going for”. That being said, if I was going to try and cast someone who I think could both look the part of Dracula, as well as respectively, play “cartoon aristocrat” Dracula, “mercurial embodiment of evil” Dracula, as well as realistically be an attractive, even seductive performer who can charm viewers even as the character descends into horrible villainy, and juggle these performances even?

I think I’d have to go with Mads Mikkelsen. Not specifically because of Hannibal (I actually haven’t watched it yet), although it’s definitely a factor, the thing that actually made me pick him specifically is, other than his looks, his voice, his reputation for playing sinister characters, the fact that he loves the role and wants to play it, or how many people are deeply in love with this man, or that people already joke that he looks like a vampire, was watching him in Another Round, and specifically that glorious final scene where he’s just dancing to his heart’s content and just, moving with such spring in his step and such joyful vitality even though he’s past his mid-fifties, and that was the moment where, in regards to how much you all love this man, I went

And now I am going to add “casting Mads Mikkelsen as a dancing Dracula” to The List of Reasons Why I Became a Filmmaker.

#replies tag #dracula #horror tag #bram stoker #charles dance #sebastian stan #mads mikkelsen #castlevania #raul julia #wwdits #what we do in the shadows #vladislav #nandor

311 notes · View notes

immabethehero · 3 years

Text

Marvin’s MegaBirthday Story

Guess who made a Megamind AU with Marvin as the title character?

Here’s a quick list of characters so you won’t get confused about who’s who:

Marvin, The Malevolent Magician - Megamind

Dr. Schneeplestein, the Doctor - Minion, but human

The Brighton Shepherd - Metro Man

Jackieboy Man, the Red Marauder - Sidekick to the Shepherd, original role of sorts

Chase Brody, news reporter - Roxanne Ritchi

Anthony/Anti - Hal Stewart, without the creepy simping

CW: Police brutality, hints of starvation, strangulation and mentions of electrocution

It was a glorious day in Brighton City. Even the weather seemed aware of it as the sun shone down brightly on the silver skyscrapers and the brand new museum built into the city square.

To celebrate the city’s greatest superhero, the grand, new museum had been dedicated to the city’s greatest hero: The Brighton Shepherd. In between the two buildings was a giant curtain, hiding a 55 foot statue for the superhero.

Reporters came to the site as early as 6 am before the crowds could roll in. Among them was the up-and-coming journalist, Chase Brody, who ran the news vlog: “Just Your Average Report”. Wearing a brand new grey and white suit to honour the Shepherd’s signature colour, Chase did vocal warm-ups while his cameraman, Anthony, set up the equipment. Unlike Chase, who had dressed handsomely for the occasion, Anthony simply wore a graphic t-shirt and a fishing vest with blue jeans. Chase tried not to let that get to him. In all the fifteen months he’d known Anthony, Chase had never seen the man wear anything other than graphic tees and the fishing vest. Today obviously wasn’t much different to Anthony.

“We’re on!” Anthony said. Chase held up his microphone in time for the camera light to turn red; he exclaimed, “Happy Brighton Shepherd Day, Brighton City! It’s a beautiful day in our beautiful downtown, where we’re here to honour a beautiful man: The Brighton Shepherd. His heart is as big as an ocean that’s inside a bigger ocean. For years, he’s been watching us with his super-vision, saving us with his super strength, and caring for us with his super heart. Now, it’s our turn to give something back! This is Chase Brody, reporting live from the dedication of the Brighton Shepherd Museum.”

Chase signaled to Anthony, who snorted as he turned the camera off.

“Damn, the stuff the producers make you read nowadays is incredibly cheesy. Have you considered writing your own stuff?”

“I have. That was one of my pieces,” Chase said with a grin. He reveled in Anthony’s look of horror.

“I mean… I can’t believe that in our modern day society, they let… actual art get onto the news,” Anthony stammered out.

“Nice save, Anthony.”

“Cool. Can we go get a coffee now?”

“Come on, it’s time to get into the Brighton Shepherd Day spirit!” Chase said, nudging his coworker.

Anthony rolled his eyes. “Please. If the Brighton Shepherd really was all that great, he’d be able to properly protect you from the Malevolent and his crazy Doctor. For someone who gets kidnapped and rescued all the time, you sure don’t have good security.”

Chase sighed. This debate again. “I mean, it’s good for my channel! I get to film bits and pieces of the Malevolent’s laboratory! Great publicity.”

“You take too many chances with that man, I swear. What happens if the Malevolent snaps and gets violent with you? The Shepherd and his sidekick won’t be there to protect you. You could die, Chase.”

“The Malevolent won’t hurt me. If he truly wanted to, he would have done so the first time he kidnapped me,” Chase snapped. “If anything, he just wants me for more publicity. I am a popular news source.”

“Yeah? Well, they don’t always strike at first sight, Lois Lane. The dude might be waiting for the perfect moment to torture you,” Anthony continued. “I mean, even if he doesn’t invent the machines, his sidekick is smart enough to make them! I swear that man has seen some stuff and wants to inflict it on the city.”

“The Malevolent and Doctor never want to torture. Their machines may look scary at first, but they’re useless. They only want to scare.”

Anthony began loading up the truck. “You’re too trusting.The Malevolent Magician has the power to mutilate and kill in ways your “friendship-is-magic” brain could never comprehend. The Doctor is no better. They’re both just waiting to strike. Once they do, the Shepherd’s presence won’t feel so reassuring, hm?”

Anthony had his back turned long enough for Chase to feel a cold presence beside him. The smell of gas flooded his senses. The reporter turned to hear a window roll down, though he didn’t see a car. Odd.

Instead a white plague doctor mask glared back at him. Chase groaned. Here he thought he might be able to avoid being kidnapped and used as leverage by the Malevolent Magician. Apparently not! The Malevolent’s sidekick, simply known as the Doctor, was here to claim his damsel in distress.

The Doctor raised a spray bottle and squirted it directly in Chase’s face. Chase barely had time to scream as a sudden drowsiness overtook him and the whole world went dark.

Step one was complete. The annoying vlogger was in the back of the van. With that accomplished, it was time to pick up the villain. Dr. Henrik von Schneeplestein, known to the city as the sidekick to the Malevolent Magician, drove through the busy town square and out of the main city.

The prison where the Malevolent lay was outside of town in a secluded location, or rather, in the middle of the highway leading into the city. Despite its odd location, the security was incredible. 200 security officers patrolled the site, with at least three officers supervising a special room under intense lock and key. The Malevolent himself was usually locked in large chains that only unlocked at certain times, or if Mal had behaved himself for a certain amount of time.

Schneep arrived to see the prison in chaos. Sirens blared loud enough to burst a person’s eardrums while police ran into the grey building, yelling to each other and pulling out their guns.

Amid all the chaos stood a man with a thick white moustache, standing in front of the large electrical gates, The man held up his wrist enough for Schneep to spy a silver watch on his wrist and sighed in relief. The watch had worked.

“Well, hello, good looking. Need a ride?” Schneep said, opening the door.

“Always, my dear doctor!” the man said as he hopped in. He slammed the door closed as Schneep slammed his foot on the gas and flew off.

The man twisted the watch’s case and transformed back into Malevolent. The supervillain turned to Schneep with an evil grin. “Nice job sending me the watch, Doctor! Let’s ride!”

“As you wish, my Wickedness!” Schneep yelled.

The maltreatment Mal received from the prison was not lost on the doctor. His sharp cheekbones were grimy and more pronounced, and his wrists were almost skeletal. Dark shadows hung below his eyes, and it was not from eyeliner. Schneep held back a sad sigh. Thank goodness he left a snack for Mal when they returned to the evil lair. That part could be solved.

Back at Brighton City Square, the show was ready to begin. As city officials made their speeches, two superheroes waited behind a painted brick wall to make an entrance.

The illustrious Brighton Shepherd fixed his mask and combed his dark brown hair back. Beside him was his sidekick: the Red Marauder, clad in red, green, and blue leather. Marauder kept peeking behind the wall.

“Malevolent is safe behind bars as of right now, you can relax, Jackie,” Shepherd said, rubbing his protégé’s back.

“I can’t find Chase!” Marauder whispered back. “I’ve scanned the crowds three times and there’s no sign of his face.”

“Perhaps he’s stuck in traffic?” Shepherd said, smoothing out the creases in Marauder’s blue cape. His sidekick really needed to learn how to take care of himself.

“He would have sent me a text if that had happened,” Marauder said with a sigh.

“Went for a cup of coffee with Anthony?”

Marauder turned to the crowd. “Anthony is currently eating a donut by one of the food vendors. I think Malevolent and the Doctor kidnapped Chase again!” His eyes filled with tears.

The Shepherd sighed and put a hand on Marauder’s shoulder. “Okay, when the mayor does her speech, we’ll do a quick speedrun through town. He can’t be far. Don’t worry, we’ll get him back.”

Marauder nodded, blinking back tears. No time to cry when there’s a battle.

“Shepherd? It’s time,” an employee whispered. The Brighton Shepherd cracked his neck.

“Show time, baby.” He punched the painted brick wall concealing him, creating a perfect hole. “Alright, put your hands in the air!” he yelled to the crowd.

The lair lit up as the car entered and parked in its appointed place. Marvin threw the door open and breathed in the familiar smell of the evil, abandoned, Monster Munch snack factory. A long time ago, it smelled of moldy cheese puffs and rat manure, but now it smelled of malevolence, metal, and a whole lot of cologne.

No matter how many times he arrived, the sweet scent always relaxed the supervillain after a hard day in jail or fighting the Shepherd. “Oh Doc, there’s no place like our evil lair!”

“I’ve kept it cold and damp, just the way you like it!” Schneep said, hauling the sleeping Chase out of the car.

A swarm of tiny robots flew over to Marvin, their engines whirring with delight. The model was a small purple circle with four robotic legs that could grip and lift up to 1,000 pounds. Of course, each had cat ears attached to the sides of their heads and a cat tail at the back. The CATs, Marvin had fondly called them. Their singular glowing yellow eyes in the center of their body looked up at their darling master.

“The CATs have certainly missed you, sir!” Schneep exclaimed.

Marvin bent down to caress their smooth heads. “Did you miss your daddy? Who’s a menacing little android? You are, yes, you are!”

One CAT held up a ball of twine. Marvin grabbed it and tossed it across the lair, the CATs trailing after it.

Two older models of the CATs held up a curtain while two others held up Marvin’s new suit. Marvin gratefully ripped off the ugly bluish-grey prison rags and changed into his white button-up, black dress pants, and sparkly purple vest. A CAT draped his famous black cloak with magenta lining around his shoulders while another handed him his beautiful cat mask with the magician’s card designs drawn on. He happily donned the mask with pride and stepped out.

“How do I look, Doctor? Do I look evil?” Marvin asked, spinning.

“Horrifyingly striking, sir,” Schneep said. He opened a small gate to an elevator platform, “Shall we?”

At the top, Schneep set Chase down on a chair while Marvin checked all the monitors and buttons.

“Everything ready?”

“Of course! I would never leave anything unchecked before a big event!” Schneep said. Beside the doctor, Chase began to stir, grunting and yelling muffled by the bag.

“He’s awake! Quick everyone, places!” Marvin ordered. He jumped onto his chair and motioned a small CAT to lie down in his lap while he fixed his hair once more.

Schneep ripped the bag off of Chase’s head as Marvin twirled his chair around, menacingly stroking the CAT. “Mr. Brody, we meet again.”

“Would it kill you to wash the bag?” Chase complained, “it fucking stinks and the spray bottle is no better!”

“You can scream all you want, Brody, I’m afraid no one can hear you!” Malevolent announced. Chase remained stone-faced.

Marvin frowned. “Why isn’t he screaming?”

Schneep sighed exasperatedly and bent down next to Chase, “Mr. Brody, if you don’t mind-”

“Screaming sounds a lot like this: aaaahhhhh!” Malevolent demonstrated. “I mean, that’s a poor example but-”

The CAT sitting on his lap bit his hand. Malevolent emitted a high-pitched shriek as he tried to shake the little robot off.

“Not to sound like a sadist but it’s more fun when you do it,” Chase deadpanned.

“Very funny,” the Doctor snapped. “You’ll be singing a different tune when the Brighton Shepherd is defeated right before your eyes!”

Ignoring both of them, Chase decided to examine the observatory, the usual spot for Malevolent and Shepherd’s battles. Most of it was the usual, a long control booth circling the room, full of buttons and levers that would release death traps, lasers, and other lame inventions. Above the panel were monitors of different sizes. On one side of the elevator was a broken vending machine where Doctor grabbed his sleeping spray, while on the other side was a strange metal sphere with axes and spikes sticking out of it (Chase asked and even Malevolent had no idea what it was).

“Speaking of watching, do you have your camera set up?” Malevolent asked, finally yanking off the biting CAT.

“Yup! It’s in the pin this time! Anthony helped me set it up!” Chase puffed his chest out to show it off.

Malevolent ran a hand through his thick black hair and twirled around, letting his cape fly in the wind.

“So guys, what’s on the menu for today? Robosheep? Typhoon cheese? A big ball of aluminum that will roll around town?” Chase asked.

Behind his plague doctor mask, Schneeplestein grinned. It was his time to shine! “Actually, we created a cool ray that uses the sun to make explosive lasers, wanna see?!” He excitedly rushed over to the main control booth and began typing in the passcode to turn it on.

Marvin yelped and pulled Schneep away from the booth, “Easy there, Doc, we’ll show it in time!”

“Brody wanted to see it!” Schneep protested. “It’s not like it would hurt, would it?”

“Think, Doctor! He’s using his nosy reporter skills to find out all our secrets!” Malevolent accused, snarling at Chase.

Chase rolled his eyes, chuckling. These two could be quite entertaining. “What secrets?! You’re so predictable!”

“Oh, that’s the insult for today?! Tell me, my dear Brody, would you call this predictable?” Marvin pulled down a lever and the floor around Chase opened up.

“Your alligators, yes!” Chase nodded in greeting to the snapping reptiles. “Yeah, I was just thinking about these guys on the way over!”

Truth be told, Chase was dreaming of riding a large parrot to Disney World while in the car. But Malevolent didn’t need to know that.

Marvin turned back to the panel. How dare Chase see through his armour?! He quickly slammed a button. “What about this?”

A sharp razor painted blood red danced in Chase’s face. “That’s kind of tacky.”

Marvin punched another button and a junky invention of multiple chainsaws attached to the ceiling lowered down. The chainsaws had gotten their chains stuck to each other and could barely move. Chase pretended to contemplate it. “Mm, juvenile.”

Marvin pulled another lever. “What about this?!”

A giant fart gun shot green gas out. Chase gagged. “Gross and immature!”

“What’s this one do?!” A weak fire machine coughed out small bits of fire.

“That’s just sad,” Chase said. He looked up and nearly jumped out of his seat. A small spider floated downwards. “Is the spider new?”

Marvin turned to Schneeplestein, who merely shrugged. When this was all over, Marvin was going to give him a stern talking to about bug extermination in the lair.

“Ah yes, the spe-dair-a,” Marvin whispered as he advanced closer to Chase. “Even the smallest bite from Arachnis Deathicus will instantly paralyze-”

Chase blew the spider onto Marvin’s cheek, causing him to scream again. Schneep punched him hard enough to knock him over.

“GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!! IT BIT MEEEEE!!!” Marvin screamed as Schneep continually smacked him with a newspaper. The spider fell off of Marvin’s cheek and began advancing to the control panel.

“STOP IT BEFORE IT DISAPPEARS!” Marvin howled as he crawled away from the disgusting creature.

After five minutes of Marvin’s dramatic wails and crawling and Schneep swearing like a sailor, Chase finally put an end to the spider’s life by stomping on it when it got close enough.

Marvin crawled over to Chase and grovelled at his bound feet. “Thank you, you are a lifesaver!” He suddenly spied the pin. “Is that still on?”

Chase smiled smugly, “I’ll burn the evidence if you let me go and we’ll never speak of it again.”

Marvin stood up, scowling, “Absolutely not! We haven’t even gotten to the fun part! Let’s pay your boyfriend and godfather a visit, shall we?”

Back at the town square, the mayor had finished up her rather short speech, “It is with great pleasure that I present Brighton Shepherd to his new museum! When you’re ready!”

Shepherd’s laser eyes cut the rope and the great curtains fell, revealing the giant statue of the superhero. A brass band played loudly over the sound of a cheering crowd.

Jackie applauded happily for his mentor, but couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous. In all fairness, the Shepherd had been around longer than he had, and he was still familiarizing himself with the city.

A sudden chill running up his arms woke Jackie from his thoughts. He looked up and gasped. Dark clouds quickly enveloped the museum. People shrieked in terror as a big, black blimp hovered above the great building, rolling down two large projection screens underneath. Once positioned on each side of the magnificent statue, a small circular robot holding a camera turned the screens on, showing the face of the one to blame for the chaos: the Malevolent.

The Brighton Shepherd and the Red Marauder flew up, Shepherd holding up a microphone.

“If it isn’t the Malevolent!”

“Bravo, Brighton Shepherd! Congratulations on your new museum!” Malevolent drawled, clapping slowly.

The crowd began to boo loudly. Malevolent blew a raspberry at the crowd, “So immature!” he scoffed.

“Should have known you’d try and crash the party!” Shepherd said.

“Oh, I intend to do more than crash it! This will be a historic day you, and Brighton City, will not soon forget!”

“We all know how this ends!” Shepherd said. “With you behind bars!”

“Ooh, I tremble in my kitten-skinned cape,” Malevolent hissed, playfully wrapping himself up in his cape. The cape was actually made from cotton, but the city didn’t need to know that.

“What do you want with us, Mal?” Shepherd demanded.

“First off, don’t call me ‘Mal’,” Malevolent snapped. “Secondly, if you and your tomato sidekick don’t leave town in an hour, then this will be the last you ever hear of Chase Brody!” Malevolent punched a button and the left screen presented the kidnapped Chase tied to a chair.

“I knew it!” Jackie muttered behind his mask.

“Don’t panic Chase! We’re on our way!” Shepherd cried out, earning a cheer from the crowd.

“I’m not panicking!” Chase responded, smiling.

Malevolent pretended to gag. “Oh, please. You have to find us first before you save Chase.”

“We’re at the abandoned observatory!” Chase quickly called out.

Malevolent suddenly turned off Chase’s camera, yelping, “WAIT DON’T TO LISTEN TO HIM-”

It was too late. Shepherd and Marauder were already flying above the dark grey smoke. Shepherd quickly spotted the broken down space observatory near the dangerous part of Brighton City beach and pointed it to Marauder. The two began their flight.

Back at the lair, Schneep watched the superheroes from his monitor. “Shepherd and Marauder approaching, sir!”

Marvin turned to Chase, who shot him a smug grin. Marvin only smiled in return.

“Like we said, you’ll be singing a different tune when you see what we have planned!”

The Shepherd would almost be here. Chase closed his eyes and ducked his head for the inevitable ceiling crash.

Shepherd and Marauder flew through the opening of the observatory and landed. Or rather, Shepherd landed gracefully on his feet while Marauder tripped and fell over. Behind them, the heavy doors slid shut.

Shepherd looked around. The place was quiet and eerily empty. No sound of any cat-bots. No evil laughter from the Malevolent.

“Something’s wrong…” Shepherd muttered. He turned to the doors. Were they locked in?! He ran over to check.

Puzzled, Chase looked up. Where were they?

Malevolent reveled in Brody’s confused expression. He fiddled with the control panel, opening up one of the walls.

“You didn’t think we were in the real observatory… did you?!”

Chase could stare in horror as he spotted the real observatory. He couldn’t believe it. He had led the two superheroes right into a trap.

Malevolent laughed triumphantly. “Ready the Death Ray, Doctor!”

Doctor typed in the passcode and pulled the lever down. “Death Ray ready-ing!”

In the real abandoned observatory, Shepherd and Marauder desperately tried to get the doors open.

“I can’t believe Malevolent actually tricked us! How did he seal the doors?!” Marauder moaned.

“Don’t worry Red, we’ll find a way out,” Shepherd said, smiling.

“Over here, boys,” a voice like ice called out. The superheroes turned to see a large projection of Malevolent smiling down on them.

“In case you haven’t noticed, you’ve fallen right into my trap!” Malevolent boasted.

The Shepherd motioned Marauder to find an escape before turning to Malevolent. “You can’t trap justice! It’s an idea! A belief!”

“Well sometimes the most heartfelt belief can be corroded over time!” Malevolent responded.

“Justice is a non-corrosive metal!”

“Then I will just melt it with the heat of revenge!”

“FYI, revenge is best served cold!” Shepherd corrected him. From the side, Marauder shook his head. As much as he respected his mentor and feared Malevolent, their “witty back-and-forth banter” was lame.

“It can easily be reheated in the microwave of evil! Don’t doubt me!” Malevolent snarled.

“Well I think your warranty is about to expire!” Shepherd declared.

“Fuck you, I have an extended warranty!” Malevolent retaliated.

“Language, my dear sir! And warranties are invalid if you don’t use the product for its intended purpose!” Shepherd roared.

“OH! Girls, girls, you’re both pretty!” Chase yelled from his seat. He turned to Malevolent, exasperated, “My whole body is sore. Can I just go home now?!”

Malevolent turned around to throw an empty can of Cola at Chase. It bonked off the side of his head.

“You’ll just have to wait, dear Brody! Your beloved superheroes first must prove if they can escape the inevitable power of the sun! Fire!”

Marauder conjured a shield for himself and Shepherd. When the Shepherd made no move to protect himself, Marauder realized nothing was coming. What happened?

Meanwhile, Marvin approached Schneep and the machine. Schneep learned against the panel, snoring softly. Marvin poked him, “Doctor, wake up!”

Schneep startled, “Oh! Sorry!” He turned to the machine, “The machine is still warming up. I expect we have a few more minutes before it fires.”

Marvin’s face turned as red as Marauder’s suit. “Warming up?! The sun is warming up?!”

Chase started laughing, “The sore arms and legs are definitely worth this riot. Just you wait, the Shepherd and Marauder will be on you in min-”

Malevolent tossed another empty can at Chase. Chase immediately shut up. “That’s better.”

“Don’t worry Chase, we’re on our way!” Marauder yelled from the monitor.

Malevolent stomped over to the camera, “Get here faster, I’m this close to throwing his stupid ass off the balcony!”

This caused Marauder to flip. “Hang in there Chase, I’m coming!” He rocketed up to fly out, only to crash into the ceiling and fall back down unceremoniously.

“Marauder, we’ve talked about this! You need to think before you do anything!” Shepherd lightly scolded. “Now, what do we have that can create a hole in the wall?”

“This whole day is a mess…” Doctor muttered from his spot at the panel.

“I’m sorry, whose side are you on?!” Malevolent demanded.

“The losing side!” Chase interjected.

“Everybody shut up,” Malevolent ordered. He sighed, rubbing his temples. “You know what? I need to take a nap. Call me when the ray is ready!”

“The ray is ready!” Doctor announced. In seconds a bright beam of yellow flew down, destroying the observatory in seconds. Fire and burning metal fell out of the demolished observatory, some of it flying directly towards the lair.

Malevolent quickly waved his hands in a circular motion, muttering. A shimmering purple bubble wrapped around Doctor and Chase. As debris rained down, Malevolent deflected them with bursts of purple fireworks. Chase watched in amazement, gaping.

“I keep forgetting he can do magic...” Chase muttered. “He uses so much technology instead.”

Doctor laughed, “Well, he’s not called the Magician for nothing.”

When the commotion calmed down and the debris stopped coming, Marvin twirled around, blowing a stray hair out his eye. The bright glow of the burning observatory behind the magician outlined his epic form. “Did your camera get that, Brody?”

Two more pieces of falling debris gracelessly smashed into Marvin. Chase happily squealed upon seeing the dusty forms of the Brighton Shepherd and the Red Marauder.

“I… should have seen that coming,” Marvin squeaked. “How did you escape so fast?”

“Laser eyes are a wonderful thing!” Marauder answered, giving Marvin a playful wink as he stood up. Marvin stuck his tongue out.

“The gig is up, Mal. We’re taking you back to jail, where you belong!” Shepherd declared. Marvin sighed and slammed his head down on the floor. Naturally, he lost. Again.

Schneep’s distressed cries snapped Marvin back to attention. He turned to his head to see Marauder on top of a struggling Schneep. Schneep’s whimpers and half-sobs were lost on Marauder, who continued tying his wrists behind him.

“Might as well send the Malevolent’s accomplice to jail as well! That way he won’t escape again!” the sidekick reasoned.

Something in Marvin snapped. “NO!” he screamed, startling the Shepherd. With his nemesis off his back, Marvin set his eyes on Brody and magically put the reporter in a choke hold.

Chase gasped raggedly as the air left his lungs.

Marvin whirled around to face Marauder, growling, “Let the doctor go!”

“Get your hands off Chase!” Marauder yelped, staring helplessly at his struggling brother.

“First, free the doctor!” Marvin shouted. He tightened his grip on Chase, lifting him out of the chair.

“Put Chase down!” Marauder roared, eyes glowing red.

Chase wheezed pathetically, black spots darting in his vision. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe. He let out a strangled sob, tears falling. In all his time with Malevolent… he had never felt so scared.

Jackie’s eyes lost their glow and he loosened his grip on the Doctor. Underneath him, the Doctor moaned in pain.

“Let him go, Red.” Jackie turned to Shepherd in shock. The usually optimistic and brightly-smiling superhero had a grim expression on his face. Jackie spluttered.

“B- but- The Doctor will just free the Malevolent again! We could stop them both once and for all-”

“You heard me. Let him go,” Shepherd ordered. Reluctantly, Jackie stood up and backed away from the Doctor. The shaking man took no time running to the stairs and quickly disappearing.

Marvin waited until Schneep’s footsteps faded away before releasing Chase, gently laying him down. Chase gulped in tearful breaths, his body trembling. Marauder rushed over to free Chase while Shepherd tied the magician’s hands behind him.

The minute his hands were free, Chase threw his arms around Jackie. Jackie gently hugged him.

“Are you okay?” Jackie whispered. Chase nodded, still gasping.

“I’ll take Malevolent to jail,” the Shepherd said. “You get Chase to a hospital!” He took off, Malevolent dangling in his arms. The magician waved goodbye as he and the Shepherd disappeared into the city.

Jackie picked up Chase bridal style and started flying as well.

He kept the flight light and steady to keep Chase from getting sick. Chase buried his head in Jackie’s shoulder for most of the trip, eyes squeezed shut. He hated heights.

As they arrived at the hospital, a medical team waited outside to take Chase in. After the first few kidnappings, a special team offered to dedicate themselves to healing Chase in case he needed it.

“Ja-Jackie?” Chase stuttered. Jackie looked down at his almost unconscious friend.

“Ma-Make sure th-this doesn’t reach An-Anthony, oh-ok?” Chase begged between gasps.

Jackie nodded, confused. “Alright… I won’t tell him.”

The cell stunk. No one here ever bothered to put an air freshener in his jail cell, despite Marvin’s numerous polite requests to have it put in. According to the security guards, the Malevolent “could use it as a weapon” or a “gas bomb”. Please.

Marvin sighed as best as he could. As if to enact revenge for strangling Chase, the security staff had clamped an even smaller chain around his neck, making it hard to breathe. Or move. Or do anything. The rest of his body wasn’t much better, with a larger chain wrapped around his waist and movement sensory chains bruising his wrists. If he tried using any magic, the chains on his wrist would shock him. After today, electrocution was the last thing Marvin needed.

Marvin looked up to check the premises. After checking to make sure the guards were gone, Marvin snapped his fingers, careful not to move his wrists too much. Immediately, the chains loosened, allowing Marvin to take a shuddering gasp. He knew the minute he heard the guards coming to check on him, he had to tighten them again, so he took advantage of the situation.

At least the Doctor was free. He wasn’t being made to sit in a stinky, small cell, wrapped in large chains that threatened to strangle him at any moment. He was free to relax after a hard day, planning for the next breakout. For now, Schneep could rest.

Marvin leaned back against his chair, closing his eyes. Schneeplestein would help him escape again. For now, the magician himself will think of another plan to get back at the Brighton Shepherd.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@graysun, @florenceisfalling, @miishae, @lonelyseiren, @goldenoceanaart, @oasisofgalaxies, @fleecal, @kofi-kiing, @myspatialspace, @jo-ann-ahh-2, @huffletrax, @indic0lite, @dumbasticart, @lunaarmada, @meteorshowersfillthesky, @uhhbeans, @the-pastel-kitsune, @ptide @climbing-starrs, @the-spawn-of-loki, @jadehowlettthewolf, @obsidiancreates, @rammypaige, @cest-mellow, @randowaffle, @green-protects, @dezi-popp, @badlypostedeverything, @crystalninjaphoenix, @milokno, @pixelpixie-pix, @why-killed-markiplier

#marvin the magnificent #jacksepticeye #writersofjack #writers of jack #jackieboy man #jse egos #writing #immabethehero #marvin megamind au #apparently i can write

39 notes · View notes

missscarletta7 · 3 years

Text

The Broken Crown- Chapter 3

Summary: All Margaret Shelby ever wanted, was the opportunity to write her own story. Only now is she beginning to realize that her brother may have already written it for her...

Hello! Enjoy chapter 3! Sorry for any mistakes.

OoOoOo

"Just because we check the guns at the door

Doesn't mean our brains will change from hand grenades

You're loving on the psychopath sitting next to you

You're loving on the murderer sitting next to you

You'll think, 'How'd I get here, sitting next to you?'"

~Heathens~

1919

It was true, Ada was pregnant, last night she and Polly went to the midwife to confirm it. Maggie had woken up to her sister entering into their room sobbing about how Polly was suggesting she get rid of the baby. It was unbearable to see Ada so sad, they both fell asleep crying in each other's arms. That very next morning Maggie decided to skip school, suggesting they go to the cinema to see the film Ada had been wanting to see. Then perhaps they could go shopping at the Bullring. Maggie was eager to make a 'girls' day' out of it, and Ada seemed willing to participate.

Both girls were now halfway through the picture at the Penny Crush, sharing a large bag of popcorn. A loud slamming of the theater door caused Ada to turn around in her seat and groan. Just as Maggie was about to ask what was wrong, she noticed a dark figure hovering over her. She remained frozen in her seat as Tommy sat down in the seat next to her, thereby trapping her in between her siblings and whatever fury was about to erupt.

"Tell me the man's name, Ada." He said curtly.

"Rudolph Valentino," the older girl replied innocently, causing Maggie to sink lower into her seat. This would not end well... She didn't have to look at Tommy, to feel the agitation radiating off of him. Quickly the man stood up and walked out of the theater. Neither girl was surprised when the picture on the screen began to roll to a stop and not long after the house lights went up. Their fellow audience began murmuring as to what could have happened.

"Get out!" The gangster shouted as he reentered the theater. "All of you! Go on! Now!" Everyone recognized what was happening and immediately rushed out to the exit.

He was now standing by their aisle and would only say this to her one more time, "I said tell me his fucking name." Nonetheless, Ada remained silent, popping another buttered kernel into her mouth.

Tommy was a busy man and didn't like to be kept waiting, "Maggie," his icy blue eyes moved to meet the younger girls, "tell me the man's name."

Shaking her head slightly, Maggie tried to tell her brother she knew just as much as he did. "I don't -"

"Right fucking now, Margaret!" The volume of his voice frightened her. Never in her life had Tommy ever yelled at her like that.

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Ada's voice rang out, "Freddy Fucking Thorne!" The name caused Maggie's eyes to widen and it was clear that Tommy was not expecting that name to come out of her mouth either. "Yeah, your best mate from school, the man that saved your life in France! So go on, cut him! Cut him up and chuck him in the Cut."

Angrily Tommy stormed out of the theater, however, Ada wasn't finished with her yelling. Turning her head to the back of the room where they knew a worker must have witnessed the entire event, she rose from her seat and roared, "Oi! We're Shelby's too, you know! Put our fucking film back on!"

Someone did just that as Ada plopped herself back into her chair. The lights turned off and the film began to roll, allowing the two sisters to sit in uncomfortable silence, no longer paying any attention to what was happening on the screen.

OoOoOo

Tommy was still seething when he parked the car outside of the betting shop. How could his sisters be so stupid trying to hide this information from him? How could Ada be so naïve? He knew Freddie better than anyone. He knew Freddie wouldn't give a damn about Ada or the bastard he loaded her with. All he was ever going to care about was his fruitless political agendas. No, this was all an elaborate plan to get the guns, Tommy was sure of it. He turned the engine off and stepped out of the vehicle. Taking out a cigarette, he lit it before slamming the car door and walking on.

"Mr. Shelby!" He heard a familiar voice call out to him from the other side of the road. Tommy turned to see the Murray lad speedily making his way toward him.

Tommy wasn't stopping though, and continued walking, "Not a good time, Ross." Smoke exhaling from his mouth as he spoke.

"But my uncle phoned back sir," The young man informed him, keeping up with Shelby's brisk pace.

"That so?" Tommy's voice was gruff, he gradually began to slow their pace down. The two were almost to the door of the shop now anyway. "Good of him to do the favor."

"Like my uncle needs to be told twice to go to pubs," Ross chuckled out slightly, "He claims he went to every known pub in Dublin. Says no one in the area has ever heard of a 'Grace Burgess'."

This made Tommy stop his stride, keeping his hand on the doorknob he turned to the younger man, "You've done good. Keep your ear to the ground, eh?" Ross nodded enthusiastically and turned to walk away from the gangster.

So, Grace had lied to him, Tommy thought as he turned the knob and entered the betting shop. What on earth could she be trying to hide?

OoOoOo

When Maggie entered the Garrison later that day she was parched. She wasn't planning on staying too long, she knew in about an hour or so the bar would become filled to its capacity with drunken louts. Frankly, she was in no mood to deal with it. She had been expecting to see Harry behind the bar but instead, she saw a pretty young woman in his place. She was slightly confused before realizing this must have been the barmaid Harry had been trying to hire for a while now. She had never seen this woman around Small Heath before, and Maggie could only really describe her as looking... out of place.

"What can I get you?" The barmaid asked, her Irish accent was the tell that gave away what Maggie had already suspected. This woman was indeed not from here, though it wasn't unheard of, there were lots of Irish settling here.

"Glass of water," Maggie said, settling herself onto a barstool. She pulled out her journal and pen from her bag and began to write.

"Margaret, right?" The blonde barmaid questioned as she passed a glass filled with clear liquid across the wooded bar.

The girl looked up from her work, "Do I know you?" her tone was accusatory, coming from her family when strangers knew your name, it could be dangerous.

"Grace," The blonde extended her hand, which hesitantly the younger girl shook. "Tommy's mentioned you."

"Oh," was all Maggie could sound out. She moved the glassware closer to her, eyes narrowing slightly. Tommy had mentioned her to some new barmaid? She found that suspect.

"Don't worry, only good things." She assured Maggie hurriedly, grabbing a wet cloth to wipe down the counter. It was true, Tommy had talked of the girl, but he had been discussing family matters with his brothers, while she subtly eavesdropped. Hoping to change the subject, Grace went on, "What are you working on?"

Maggie's focus went back to the half-written page. "Just writing."

"I've heard you hope to be a novelist. Maybe I can read some of your work one day?" As soon as the words left Grace's mouth, the barmaid knew she had prodded a bit too hard when the dark-haired girl's head shot up.

"I don't really share my work with others," Maggie said protectively, subconsciously moving her arms to cover her work.

"It's only a story if it gets shared." The older woman shrugged. This was something Maggie had been hearing a lot lately. Before Maggie could respond, their conversation was ultimately interrupted by a shouting match that broke out between two of the regulars, which ended with three other men separating them. "Seems to happen a lot around here," Grace observed.

"You get used to it." Maggie replied uninterestedly, "Didn't you have men fighting in pubs wherever you've come from?"

"There would be," she answered calmly. The dark-haired girl tried to go back to her writing, but she could still feel the blonde's gaze on her.

"What?" Maggie asked somewhat exasperated.

"What's the real reason your brother doesn't allow singing?" Grace probed, leaning against the bar.

Growing up, her family instilled her with the mantra of 'Don't answer questions. Instead of responding to the barmaid's query, she downed the last of her water, which tasted a little of beer, roughly setting down the glassware onto the bar with a klink. Unable to write under the circumstances of inquiries and brawling and anyway, Maggie hopped off of the bar stool. With a final look at the blonde leaning against the counter, she said "Welcome to Birmingham," before exiting the building.

Graces' eyes were fixed on the girl as she left, perhaps she could be useful.

OoOoOo

Maggie felt a little lonely that next afternoon, Polly had finally convinced Ada to "do the right thing". They were on their way to get the procedure done in Cardiff to avoid any rumors and gossip. They left early this morning and Maggie had begged to go with them, but her Aunt thought it was best she stayed in Small Heath. She was about to leave her home to meet up with Cara when she unsuspectingly met her aunt at the door.

"Didn't expect to see you back this early," the girl said as Polly gently pushed past her. Looking out through the threshold, Maggie had expected to see her sister in tow, "Where's Ada?"

"Freddie came back," Polly spoke angrily.

"That's good, isn't it?" Maggie asked cautiously, closing the door before she followed her aunt back into the kitchen, who was now leaning her body against the counter.

"It would be if the stubborn fool would just get out of Birmingham. He's defying Tommy's orders, refusing to leave and he's going to drag Ada into his fucking mess." Polly lit a cigarette, inhaling and exhaling smoke. "I've been walking around the past hour trying to strategize what the next move should be."

"And what move did you decide?"

"Tell Tommy," Polly replied immediately.

Maggie nodded slowly before uttering, "I'd really love to watch you play chess sometime."

It was obvious Polly didn't appreciate her niece's sarcasm, "What else can I bloody do?"

"You sho-" But before the girl could finish, she was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening.

"All right?" Tommy greeted entering the home, causing Maggie to avoid eye contact with him. She had been successful in dodging him since he yelled at her yesterday. Instead of staying in the kitchen with her family, she quickly exchanged a look with Polly, before silently exiting the room through the doors of the betting shop and out of the residence.

She had not even walked five meters away from the home when she heard, "Maggie, thank Christ!"

The girl stopped and turned around to see John trying to catch up to her. "What's wrong?" She asked, genuinely concerned.

"I need your help," he informed her, removing his toothpick from his mouth, "Can you look after the kids today?" He pointed his thumb back to near the Shelby home where a seven-year-old James, two six-year-old twins, Izzy and Ben, and finally four-year-old Katie were all roughhousing.

At that moment, Maggie wished she had pretended not to have heard him or even stopped, "I can't, I'm on my way to go meet Cara in the park."

His exhausted eyes perked up, "That's perfect! Take them with you, let them run around 'til they tire out!"

"What, all four?" Her eyes shifted once again to the hooligans, who were now hitting each other with rubbish from the bins. "Are you mad?"

"Please Mags, they're driving me up the bloody wall." Her brother pleaded.

"Well don't punish me, I'm not the one who procreated!" Maggie whined. She was ready to decline his request until she looked into his sad eyes, sighing out, "You owe me."

He jerked her into his arms embracing her, "You're aces, you are." Pulling away he turned back to face the direction of his children "Oi!" John shouted out to his children, who all briefly stopped their brawling. "You lot, mind your Aunt Mags! She's going to look after you today!"

All four of them ran towards Maggie excitedly and her brother thanked her once again before heading into the shop. "C'mon," She sighed out to them, allowing little Katie to take her hand as they all made their way to Garrison Lane Park. It wasn't too much of a walk for them, about ten minutes. She found Cara sitting on one of the wooden benches.

"Hello, Cara," Maggie waved to her friend while her nieces and nephews took off running to the large patch of grass in the center of the small park.

"On babysitting duty, are we?" Raising an eyebrow at the children, who were now hitting each other with the little sticks that had fallen off the trees.

"They're demons," Maggie grumbled, as Cara rose from the bench. They soon began to walk the square trail around the perimeter of the park, every so often her eyes would glance over to the noisy kids. She loved Johns' children, but they were a handful. She had no idea how Martha was able to raise them on her own all those years. "After taking care of them it makes any woman not want children of her own."

The blonde laughed, "Leave it to Ada then eh?" Her comment triggered confusion. How did Cara know about Ada's pregnancy if she hadn't told her about it yet? Though she didn't have to wait too long for an answer, "Your sister came into the shop. Took a gorgeous white dress and veil, and she even wore it out of the store. Why didn't you tell me that Ada was getting married?" Cara paused, smile faltering. "Did you not know?"

Quickly Maggie wiped any emotion off of her face. "I shouldn't be surprised." It wasn't the fact that she was unhappy about the news of Ada's marriage, it was the fact that she wasn't even invited to witness it.

Cara seemed to notice the change of mood in her friend and thankfully had the tact to change the subject. "Have you heard from Ross lately?"

Maggie shook her head, "Not for a few days, why?"

She was silent for a moment before sighing, "Think I may have scared him off." Maggie stared at her waiting for an explanation before Cara obliged, "I told him how I felt as he was walking me home yesterday."

Maggie's jaw dropped, "No way! What did he say?"

"He said he didn't see me as anything more than a friend," Cara replied, disappointment dripping off every word. "And that there's someone else he was interested in."

Maggie's stomach dropped, "Who?" She asked cautiously.

"I dunno." The blonde sadly confessed.

"Well, he's an idiot," Maggie affirmed, earning a small chuckle from her friend.

That next afternoon, Maggie went into the kitchen and tried her best to heat up some vegetable stock in a pot on the last working burner. Yet, no matter how much she twisted the knob for the gas, the flame of the match would not ignite the burner. She tried again, lighting a new match and held it at the tips of her fingers. As she did so she couldn't stop all the emotions from bubbling up inside. Firstly there was anger, John had up and left his children overnight without any consideration to Maggie whatsoever. Though thankfully all four children were still upstairs sleeping. Secondly, she felt anxious about Cara and Ross’s current situation. At the very back of her mind, she couldn't help but think she already knew the reason Ross rejected her friend. She hoped she was wrong... Finally, she felt hurt about Ada's wedding. The lack of an invitation cut her deeper than she originally thought.

The match she pinched in between the fingers eventually died out, and once again Maggie lit yet another, hoping that this time the gas would absorb the flame. Would it have killed Ada to send a message about the event? Why couldn't Ross just return Cara's feelings? And where the bloody hell was John?!

Due to her lack of attention, the match in her hand finally burned one of her fingers. "Fuck!" She shouted, dropping the small stick onto the floor. She brought her hand to her face and sucked lightly on her tingling thumb.

"What's got you cursing then, Mags?" She jumped in place, gasping in shock she spun around to where she heard the voice. Standing in the doorway of the betting shop was an amused-looking Arthur.

"Jesus, you scared me!" Clutching at her chest she managed to catch her breath, "We need a new stove Arthur, the last burner went out."

"I'll talk to Tom about it," her brother assured her. "We can afford it now, soon we'll be having a shit ton of more money coming in."

Her eyebrows furrowed, "What d'you mean?"

"We're moving up in the world, legitimate business is the goal Mags," Arthur informed her, gladly sitting in one of the wooden chairs. "Got me a pub to put all our cash in. Things are looking up."

He continued to smile at her brightly as she crossed her arms across her chest asking her brother simply, "What pub?"

OoOoOo

Again, Lily heard the footsteps of her father pacing in his room…

These were the words Maggie had just finished writing in her journal. She had found that writing in her home that morning had become increasingly difficult in the past month. John had brought his children to number seventeen to be looked after yet again, so the home was filled with constant crying and yelling. The peace and quiet of the Garrison had become her safe haven. The only problem was...

"Your usual, Miss." Maggie looked up from her half-written page to see Grace, who placed a glass of water in front of her onto the bar with a small clink.

"Thanks," Maggie mumbled out, begrudgingly taking a sip from the glass.

"You, young lady, are going to be hearing a lot more singing," Grace told her excitedly. "I made a deal with your brother."

Maggie stared back at her unimpressed, "It would have been safer to make one with the devil."

Grace smiled, "I would have, but the Devil has a much longer queue." The blonde could have sworn that she spotted a smirk on the girl's face even though she tried her best to hide it. She had been persistent in befriending the youngest Shelby girl. Grace was sure Maggie had to know something, but she was careful in executing her plan because despite the girl's young age she was clever.

Unfortunately, Grace had gotten nowhere by the time Maggie packed up her bag and left the pub. As she exited and walked in the direction of her home, she noticed a woman was hurriedly running down the cobblestone street. Maggie could not believe her eyes, "Ada?" She asked in disbelief. "Where have-"

"Tommy!" Her sister interrupted, grabbing her shoulders, "Where is he?!"

Maggie could only shake her head, "I don't know."

"He's gonna kill him!" She cried pushing past her sister and ran towards the entrance of the pub.

Maggie turned to follow her, "Wait-What? - Who's killing who?! Ada!"

Ada shoved the doors open and began to look around the room, searching for her brother or husband.

Upon seeing the commotion Grace walked towards them. "Maggie what's going on?"

"Have you seen Freddie Throne?" Ada asked her immediately.

"No," Grace replied, instantly recognizing the name of the man who Campbell was searching for.

It was then Ada began to experience pain. "Or Tommy?" She was able to grit out.

"C'mon Ada sit down," Maggie told her worriedly, grabbing her arm to move her into a seat.

"No!" She cried, pulling out of her sister's grasp and moved towards the door to leave, but Maggie was able to catch up to her, seizing her sisters' arm again.

"Can you at least tell me what you're on about?!" The younger girl pleaded.

"Tommy keeps trying to make us leave," Ada sighed. "And Freddie is too bloody stubborn to listen to any of us. He wants to stay here with his comrades. I got word that he was asking around where Tommy might be. They're going to hurt each other; I just know it! I have to find them!"

"Drink this first," Grace ordered, walking over toward the sisters, handing over a glass of water to the eldest.

But Ada refused, "No, I have to find them! I think they're going to kill each other!"

"Wait. Who is going to kill who?" Grace questioned gently.

"My sister thinks her husband is going to kill Tommy," Maggie explained. "Or vice versa." Frankly, she really couldn’t decipher who was in more danger.

Grace looked from Maggie back to the anxious face of the mother-to-be, "Ada is it?" Grace asked, to which the pregnant woman nodded. "Your sister is right, you should sit."

Ada stared at the blonde before catching the pleading look Maggie was giving her and complied with the request. Maggie led her sister to a chair and sat down beside her.

"Did you want to talk about it?" The barmaid asked, leaning back in the wooden chair she had just sat into, crossing her arms. When Ada remained silent Grace added, "My father used to say, 'you'll never plow a field by turning it over in your head.' So, you may as well talk while you got the company."

"I just wish they would stop fighting over the same thing." Ada sighed, wringing her fingers in her lap.

"And what thing is that?" Grace pressed, leaning forward slightly.

Ada shook her head, saying tearfully, "Freddie won't tell me. He keeps things from me. He won't even listen to me. And Tommy-" She sniffed before adding, "Tommy keeps everything locked up too."

Maggie placed a hand on her sisters, squeezing it slightly, "He's just trying to keep us all safe, Ada." As much as Maggie was annoyed with her brother at the moment, she knew Tommy would move heaven and earth to ensure the safety of his family. Though Ada didn't seem to believe her sister's sentiments.

"I better go," Ada said after a few moments of silence and at last lifted herself out of the chair.

Maggie rose from her seat too, "I'll go with you." She had missed her sister so much and was excited at the prospect of speaking with her, feeling the need to soak in her sisterly words of wisdom on her current problems.

"No, Mags, I think he may have gone back to the flat, and I can't let you follow me there. It's not safe." Ada told her sadly but nevertheless hugged her sister tightly before exiting the pub without seeing the hurt that flashed across her little sister's face.

Grace's ears had perked up at Ada's words, this may be a chance to learn and report where the communist lives. She had to leave the bar quickly and inconspicuously. Grace rose from her chair too, "Well I suppose I should g-"

However, at the same time, Maggie asked, "Can I ask you something?"

The Irish woman looked at the girl hesitantly before replying, "Of course." She sank back into her chair, giving a fleeting glance toward the door.

Maggie sighed out and sat back down as well, "What do you do if you think someone may like you as more than a friend, but you don't think that you could see them the same way back?"

"Then you don't be with them" Grace leaned over the counter placing both her elbows on the table, "And you wait for the person you do feel that way about."

"I don't see that happening," She wasn't sure if she could ever love anyone more than the words she wrote in her journal.

Grace then places a hand over Maggie's, "If it doesn't, then it doesn't, you'll still have your family, friends... your stories."

The girl smiled at her words. Perhaps she shouldn't have given the barmaid the cold shoulder. She was obviously just a kind-hearted woman, who was just trying to make friends in a new city.

"Would you like to hear the first few pages of my story?" She asked hopefully.

Grace forced a smile, "I would like that very much."

Maggie beamed at the answer, and opened her journal to the first page, "Long ago when she was young, she believed that what she saw in her dreams could be a vision of what was to come..."

OoOoOo

Early the following morning she found herself sitting on top of the family car, with her journal sitting in her lap, she scribbled down words quickly. Talking about her work yesterday evening with Grace had been a revelation. A creative spark had overcome her as they spoke of possible themes, symbols, and imagery she could possibly use in her work. Eventually, she was taken out of her thoughts by a familiar voice, "Didn't think I'd see you up this early on a weekend."

"All right Ross?" She hadn't seen him in quite a while, he had altogether stopped walking her and Cara after school. "Where are you off to then?"

"Heading to meet with your brothers. I'm going to help the Peaky Blinders take on the Lees at Cheltenham." Ross replied, hoping she would be impressed at the news.

Her mind flashed back to that day when she last saw the Lees and what her brothers did. It made her stomach churn at what they may make her friend do. Staring into his hazel eyes she asked him quietly, "Why are you helping them with this?"

The smile dropped from his face and he remained silent at the question, so she continued, her voice a bit harder now, "You're no gangster, why are you pretending to be?"

His shoulders shrugged, "It's a good opportunity," he replied, but Maggie couldn't hold back her mirthless laugh. "And I'm not pretending to be anybody" Ross’s tone more indignant this time.

Maggie felt herself getting irritated now, "It's sad that you really think that."

"The hell is that supposed to mean?" His facial expression tried to remain indifferent, but she could tell that he was cross.

"I mean that just because you want to be a fucking criminal it doesn't give you the right to break my best friends heart!"

"So, this is about what I said to Cara?" He realized furiously, scoffing out, "Are you fucking serious?"

"You knew how she felt about you!"

"What the hell was I supposed to do? Lie to her?!"

"You-" Maggie didn't finish her sentence because their argument was interrupted by someone clearing their throat. Both teens' heads turned to see an annoyed-looking Tommy standing there with a cigarette in between his fingers. Neither knew how long the gang leader had been standing there.

Tommy looked over to Ross, telling him stiffly, "You're late. Off you fucking pop, the rest of the men have already gone to Charlies."

"Yes sir," Ross nodded, and with a final look to the girl, he walked off in the direction of Charlie's Yard.

"And you," Tommy turned to face his little sister, "Get off, I don't need your arse print on my car. I'm taking it to Curly before the races." Closing her journal, she allowed herself to slide off the hood easily with the fabric of her skirt. Once her feet were back on the ground, she began to head towards the front door of the home.

"You've been avoiding me," Tommy continued, causing his sister to stop and shrug. To be honest, she had gotten over her brother's words a while ago. Nevertheless, their relationship remained awkward the past few weeks. For Tommy, this silent treatment was starting to become unbearably annoying. "I didn't mean to yell at you that day at the cinema." Believing that was as close as Tommy was ever going to get to an apology she nodded and continued her walk back to their residence.

"Mags," He called out to her once more. She turned around to see he was already in the driver's seat of the car, "We all have to pretend in order to get by in this world," He stated this as if it were a universal truth, "Even us fucking criminals."

With that he started the engine and drove off, leaving his sister standing motionless in place.

#peaky blinders fanfiction #tommy shelby #oc #shelbysister #john shelby #ada shelby #finn shelby #peakyblinders #polly gray #alfie solomons #1920

20 notes · View notes

annab-nana · 4 years

Text

Are You Fucking Stupid - Colby Brock

The guys invited y/n to tag along with them as they went to Witches Forest, but after a scarring and emotion-filled event or two, she contemplates this trip being her last with the boys.

Warnings: some curse words

Word Count: 3.9k+

--------------------------------------------------

“Let’s go camping, guys!” I shout happily as I skip along the way towards the tent, even though I could barely see in the misty dark forest and I don’t really know where I am going.

“How is she so fucking happy and excited? Does she know what we are doing?” I hear Corey ask someone behind me. I stop skipping so that I don’t drop all the supplies in my arms and keep walking next to Colby.

“Corey, you got to remember this is her first trip with us. She doesn’t know what we do, but she will find out soon,” Colby says to Corey as he maintains his attention focused in front of us.

“I’m not an idiot, Brock. I did my research. I watched the last series. I still don’t know why you two decided to trust that Jennifer girl. She was giving me weird vibes in the Stanley videos. And, it might be scary, Corey, but I am really excited,” I tell them all.

“Don’t question her, brother. She’s probably the least scared one of us all, except for maybe Sam because he isn’t scared of anything,” Jake comments, receiving chuckles from the whole group.

“Wait, where’s the tent?” Corey asks, worry and concern laced within his voice.

“No, you got to keep going, bro,” Sam informs him from the back of the group. Colby and I were leading the crew with Corey close behind, then Jake and Sam were at the tail end of the pack.

“You sure?” Corey questions him, but Colby reassures him that we are on the right track. We all get slightly worried until we see the beautiful blue thing before us.

“Oh God, what is that?” Sam asks as he points the camera off to the side of the tent. When my eyes follow the same direction, they see nothing except darkness and trees.

“What was what?” Colby inquires.

“Shut up, Sam,” Jake pushes it off as a joke.

“I don’t see anything,” I add.

“I-I thought I saw an animal or a figure or something,” the blonde informs the group before shrugging off the thought.

“Yo dude, I sw- I swear to God I saw the same thing like a shadow go that way, right?” Colby mentions as he points in the direction that he saw the shadow go with his head since his arms and hands are occupied with water and other things we will need tonight.

“Yeah, I thought- Are there-” Sam tries to start a few different sentences before a noise from the forest interrupts him. It came from the same direction of where the two said the figure was. “Are there animals?” He whispers.

“Did you hear that?” Colby asks him, to which he says yes.

“That could be an animal,” I say. I hope it was an animal. It sounded like one, but the way that their minds immediately think it was something other than that, makes me want to think it was something else too.

“Oh, we didn’t even think about that. There’s like bears and stuff out here,” Colby says as he realizes it might not be the worst thing he thought it could be and it might just be an animal. After that, we put the supplies into the tent and set everything up.

...

“This dude claims he’s a fucking eagle scout,” Jake tells the camera after Colby spilled lighter fluid all on the side of the pot and on the grass around it. He got more of it on the outside than the inside. The claimed boy scout ignites the wood with a lighter and the small flames begin to grow. As it grows a little more, we back our chairs away from it to keep a good distance from the growing campfire. After it settles down a tad, Sam whips the camera back out to continue filming.

“Jake, I got you a snack brother,” Colby says as he rummages through his bag and pulls out a blue bag. He passes it to Corey, who passes it to me, and I hand it to Jake after reading the bag. It is a freeze-dried ice cream sandwich. Jake takes a bite of it after opening the package and we watch as he deliberates what he’s tasting.

“I don’t taste anything,” Jake says as he passes me the ice cream sandwich to taste. Colby only got two, so we are going to have to share. I take a bite as does Corey with the other one.

“It feels like a Lucky Charms marshmallow but with no taste,” Corey figures out and I hum in agreement as my mouth is still full. We finish the ice cream sandwiches and joke around for a bit before Colby and Jake head to the car to get the sage and a few other things. They do not take long at all and are back in what feels like seconds.

“So while he’s doing the sage, this next step is gonna be…” Sam starts to explain what we will be doing tonight as Colby dips the top of the sage into the fire until it gives off a light smoke. He then pulls it away from the fire and goes over to Sam to begin to sage the group. He finishes waving the sage around Sam and moved to Corey who was holding the camera to film Sam’s explanation.

“So, I just hold my arms out?” I whisper to Colby when he moves onto me. Today was the first day I have ever been saged at all and I just copied what the guys did when we went to the witch’s house. Colby let out a small giggle before nodding his head.

“Yeah, just to make sure I get all of you,” He answers as he waves the sage around my arms, making sure to get the sage’s smoke all around me.

“You’re good,” He whispers to me before taking a few steps towards Jake who was snuggling his small stuffed Shrek. I try to focus my attention on Sam and what he is telling us we will be doing, but I can’t help but notice Jake stick Shrek out for him to be saged as well. I snicker as Colby sages Shrek and then does a small dance as he sages himself.

“I think we’re ready to go, guys,” Colby announces as he sets the sage to the side and returns to his chair.

“I say obviously the first one is Lucy, right?” Sam says before writing that name on a slip of paper.

“Wait, y’all think that Lucy and the cowboy and stuff is attached to us from the Stanley?” Corey asks as he points the camera to Sam and Colby.

“No, we’re just trying to take every single precaution we can,” Colby assures Corey but filming Sam again so he can explain more. He explains more in-depth what Colby just said and writes ‘The Cowboy’ on the next piece of paper.

“What else do we think is here? We need three. Is there anything else you think that could be possibly haunting us or that-” Sam starts as the rest of us think and Colby cuts him off with an idea.

“The shadow man?” Colby suggests as he looks over to Corey. I have known these guys for almost a year now and I don’t know much about the shadow man, but I know that is something that Corey does not like to talk about. My eyes go from Colby to Corey to see what he has to say. I’ve never heard him talk about and to be honest, I don’t really know what it is. The only bit I know is what I saw in their last series.

“Bro come on. Bro, why did you have to just bring that up?” Corey sighs, seeming slightly aggravated at what Colby mentioned.

“Because what other story have we ever told?” Colby explains to him. Even though it might freak him out, it might be best for Corey to do this cleansing fire ritual.

“Bro, in the woods? You have to bring that up out here?” Corey adds. He is visibly scared. From what I’ve seen, he gets scared the easiest, but whatever this shadow man thing is really freaks him out.

“Let’s say we saw a shadow person. If we turn off every single light, there can’t be a shadow.” Jake mentions, lightening the mood a bit.

“I’ve been talking about the shadow man a lot lately and I’ve been like-” Corey starts, but Jake finishes it for him.

“Manifesting it.” The whole group agrees.

“No, dude, that’s probably it!” Sam loudly speaks as the realization of it hits him.

“Wait, you’re blurry,” Corey mutters, trying to focus the camera on Sam. Before anyone can say anything about that, I hear a low grumbling noise come from behind me. I turn around to see if anything is there, but there isn’t. “Did you hear that?”

“The rumbling?” Jake questions, meaning he heard it too. I nod to let him know I heard the noise as well. We disregard it as an animal and get back to the fire ritual that Sam has been talking about the whole time.

“We’re gonna wrap these ghosts around our personal objects and then toss them into the fire,” Sam continues with the rundown of it all, but Corey has some problems with the camera. We stop filming for a minute to check it but get right back into what we were doing.

“You guys know what I’m burning?” Corey asks as he reaches into his pocket. He has a smile plastered on his face which makes us even more curious of what he has to burn. He pulls out one of the iconic black stickers with the big white X on it and shows it to the camera. I cannot help but to bust out laughing.

“Our XPLR sticker?” Sam wonders and Corey nods at him. “Why?”

“Because ever since I stopped playing with the Ouija board, the only thing that has made my life fucking haunted is you guys. If it wasn’t for y’all, I wouldn’t have brought back all this Ouija board crap, so I think it’s best that you know,” Corey explains as he gestures the sticker towards the fire.

“Look what I’m burning,” Sam begins, looking down in his wallet before pulling out a white card. “I’m burning the key to the Millennium Biltmore Hotel.” Gasps fall from the rest of the groups’ lips, shocked that he still had that key. “Because that’s what started it all.”

“Well Samuel, you aren’t the only one who brought a hotel key. I did, too. This is a hotel key to room 311 of Hotel Millersburg in Ohio. My older sister and I stayed there one night and it was honestly the scariest night of my life,” I say as I pull the key card out of pocket and show it to the boys. Colby shows us that he chose to burn a large cardboard cutout of his face and Jake is going to burn a Shrek VHS tape. Sam passes Corey and Colby two of the three pieces of paper that have ghosts written on them and we begin the fire ritual.

“I’ve never done this one before so let’s just for it. Ready? Three. Two. One,” Sam tells us before we all throw our items into the fire. I watch as the flames take over the hotel key card and begin to melt it. The fire dances over all our things and burns them. “That should really help us out.” Sam tries to explain before Jake let out an ungodly noise from his bottom half.

“Brother,” Colby says as we all laugh at the guy who just ripped one. The laughter dies down and we all stare at the fire. “So, this is a good thing? It feels good.”

“Shrek’s not burning. That means we should take it out,” Jake notices and I look down. It is letting off smoke, but it is not burning. As soon as Corey starts to comment on it, Colby gasps and flips out of his chair. He falls to the ground before struggling to get back up.

“Sam!” He shouts when he is finally to his feet.

“What?” The worry is Sam’s voice is evident.

“There’s a- Look, look, there was a shadow over there,” Colby states frantically as he points into the dark foggy forest behind Jake and I. We all look in that direction but do not see a thing.

“No, there fucking wasn’t. No, there wasn’t, bro,” Corey denies as he stands up and backs away from where we were.

“No, it just went across in the background behind Jake and y/n. I swear to God,” Colby spits out as he walks closer to where he said he saw it. Sam has not said anything, Corey is trying to leave, and Jake is making sure everyone is okay. I don’t really know what to say. I believe that Colby saw something, but I didn’t see anything myself. “Did you see?”

“No, I feel like you’re fucking with me,” Sam finally speaks, and it isn’t what Colby wants to hear. I know it. Colby hates when people think he is lying because he hates when people lie to him.

“No, why would I fuck with you? There’s no reason for me to do that. Dude, it literally ran across. This is our time to go capture it. Come on,” Colby encourages as Sam, Jake, and I stand up from our chairs.

“No, no, no, no, fuck no,” Corey starts, but Sam and Jake are grabbing their bags and flashlights, ready to investigate. I do the same because I figured we were all going. “Guys, guys, I don’t want to go.”

“We need someone to stay and watch the fire anyway so just-” Colby tells Corey quickly as he is eager to go see what he saw earlier.

“I’m not staying here by myself,” Corey protests.

“Dude, we literally think that someone is spying on us. You literally just said someone has to be fucking with us on the phone,” Sam tries to convince Corey, but Colby is getting impatient.

“Let’s go! You stay here if you’re scared. We gotta go,” Colby tells him as he grabs a lantern.

“Bro, what the fuck. Someone take the camera. I don’t wanna be here by myself, bro,” Corey frets as he shakily passes the camera to Sam.

“You three go. I’ll stay here with Corey,” I say as I hand Jake my flashlight and set my bag down on the ground.

“Are you sure?” Sam asks me quickly before Colby almost goes insane.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Just make sure you don’t lose him,” I say as I nod towards Colby who has almost left the group entirely. Sam gives me a nod before running after Colby alongside Jake.

“Thanks, y/n,” Corey sighed as he plopped down into his chair.

“No problem, brother. I know you were scared, and I am too, so I don’t mind. I just hope they don’t lose Colby. Did you see how far away he was?” I ask him and he nods before a silence settles between us as we stare into the flames.

“So, what happened that night in the hotel in Ohio?” Corey wonders as he looks up from the fire to meet my eyes. I take in a deep breath before answering.

“I don’t want to go into the details while we are in the middle of the forest because I’ll just scare myself, but to make a long story short, lights flickered, and beds shook. I heard noises and had terrible nightmares. My sister had a scratch on her side that was not there before she went to sleep. It just wasn’t a fun night,” I tell him as his mouth hangs wide open.

“Can I ask why you kept the key?” He asks and I nod before replying.

“Yeah, I used to keep it to have something from that night, but then I kept it as a memory of something my sister and I did together.”

“What happened to her?” He further inquires.

“She died in a car accident two years ago,” I whisper.

“Oh,” He mutters.

“Yeah, but now, I have this to remember her by,” I say as I show him the ring I wear that adorns my finger with a small sunshine on it.

“It’s pretty,” He compliments, and I smile at him.

“Thanks. It makes me happy when I look down at it, so I wear it every day like she did,” I tell him, and he nods.

“COREY! COLBY! Y/N!” we hear Sam yelling in the distance.

“What the fuck?” Corey whispers before standing. I turn around and see Sam and Jake running towards us, but there is no Colby. My heart drops as I get up and worry and fear take over me.

“Did you hear that scream?” Sam pants as he attempts to catch his breath.

“The only screaming I heard was you,” I tell Sam.

“Where’s Colby?” Corey questions the boys.

“Wait, where’s Colby?” Sam asks and looks around him for his counterpart. My eyes widen when I realize that he lost him.

“Wait, Colby’s not with you?” Corey asks, wide-eyed as well.

“I thought he came back here,” Sam states and I feel like my world is spinning.

“Are you joking?” Corey wonders.

“If this is a joke, it’s not fucking funny. Where is Colby?” I scoff. I don’t know why, but anger fills me. How did they manage to lose him? He had a light so they could see him and from what I have been told, Sam was pretty fast in high school, so he should have easily caught up to Colby.

“He ran off,” Jake says so nonchalantly.

“He said he wanted to go the other way, so we went towards this baby thing,” Sam freaks.

“Wait, so you left Colby?” Corey questions in disbelief.

“We tried, but he ran off by himself,” Jake pretests.

“What do you mean he ran off by himself? Why?” Corey asks, trying to make sense of what is happening as my anger rises.

“He saw a shadow figure and we saw something another way,” Sam tries to justify himself.

“Are you fucking stupid? Do you realize you left your best friend in the pitch-black woods by himself for some baby thing? All that I am hearing is that you think that baby thing is more important than Colby, your ‘everything I have’. I asked you to do one thing while I stayed with Corey and that was to not lose Colby and look at what you did. You left him. I-I can’t deal with this right now.” I storm away from the guys to look for Colby.

“Where are you going?” I hear Jake ask from behind me.

“To look for Colby,” I say bluntly as I pull out my phone to use the flashlight.

“Wait, let me come with you,” Sam offers, but I snap at him once more.

“I think you have done enough. If you can leave Corey and Colby by themselves, then leave me alone too.” I turn around and continue on the path that they took earlier. I hear footsteps come from behind me before they catch up to me.

“Hey, are you okay?” I hear Jake ask me. I look at him before shaking my head.

“No, I’m not. Colby is fucking missing and I-” I stop myself from saying any more, but Jake is too curious to let it slide.

“You what?” He asks sincerely. I let out a sigh before continuing.

“I’ve never told anyone this, but I love him, Jake. And I’ve never got to tell him before and now he is lost in this pitch-black darkness,” I say as I shine my flashlight all around me. Thankfully, Jake brought the lantern with him so we can really see.

“I’m sure we will find him y/n. Don’t worry,” Jake whispers before pulling me into him to comfort my worried self. We continue to shout his name in hopes he will hear us, but it feels like no use.

“Are you sure we will find him?” I ask Jake as we continue on the path.

“Yeah, if we stay on the path, we should find him.” We walk a little farther before I ask him something else because my mind is going everywhere.

“Do you think he even likes me back or am I wasting my time on him if I tell him?”

“We’ve always thought you two would end up together. It’s just a matter of when.” I nod and we walk a while more before hearing something.

“Did you hear that?” I whisper to Jake and he nods at me. It sounded like some stepped on a twig, but it wasn’t us that did it.

“Y/n?” I hear Colby’s voice ask before I see him. I run over to him and wrap my arms around his waist.

“I thought we had lost you,” I say, and his arms wrap around me too.

“Nope, I am right here. Where’d you guys go?” He asks Jake as we let go of each other and began to walk back to the camp.

“We tried to get you to stop, but you kept going,” Jake tells him.

“Yeah, we are going to have a bit of a talk when we get back to the camp,” I say as I lead the boys back. Once we are back and everyone is settled, I begin to talk.

“Okay, now that we have all cooled down and Colby is found, I want to say sorry to Sam because I was sort of rude to you earlier. I know being scared does not justify it, but I was terrified. Colby, I understand that you were scared and really wanted to get the shadow person you saw, but you can’t abandon everyone and Sam, I know you saw that baby thing and wanted to capture that as well, but friends come first. We are all in what feels like a horror movie and we need to act smarter and think before we do. Okay?” They all nod before we talk about what we each experienced when we split.

...

“Colby?” I whisper to the guy next to me, hoping he isn’t asleep. The others definitely are sleeping, but I can’t sleep, and Colby has been tossing and turning the whole time.

“Yeah,” He groggily answers before turning around in his sleeping bag to face me.

“I need to tell you something because if anything like what happened tonight happens again, I’ll hate myself for never telling you and honestly, I don’t care if this messes up our friendship. I have to say it.”

“Whatever it is, you can tell me, y/n.”

“I like you, Colby. I always have and I haven’t known how to tell and when you went missing, I thought I’d never get to so-” My sentence gets cuts off by a pair of lips pressing against my own. I am taken by surprise but soon melt into the kiss before we pull away.

“I like you too, y/n,” He says breathlessly. A smile spreads on my reddened lips as one does on his too.

“I thought Sam said no kissing in the tent,” I hear Jake pout. I blush in embarrassment and I lean into Colby to hide.

“I did say that, but for those two, I’ll allow it,” Sam speaks. I thought they were asleep, but they heard it all.

“Can I join?” Corey jokes. I shake my head before realizing that I am going to be picked on about this for the whole two-hour car ride home.

#colby #colby brock #Sam and Colby #cute colby #cute colby brock #colby brock imagine #fanfic #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fanfiction #colby brock x reader #xplr #TRAPHOUSE #sam golbach #Corey Scherer #jake webber #y/n #cole robert brock #sncnetwork

303 notes · View notes

mst3kproject · 4 years

Photo

Beast from Haunted Cave

I’ve actually received a couple of requests for movies to review, and I am looking into them. I just have a few others I want to get through first… like this one.

Beast from Haunted Cave begins with a familiar tune – over the credits we hear the same jumpy ‘suspense’ music that opened both Night of the Blood Beast and Attack of the Giant Leeches. It seems to have been a favourite of Gene Corman (Roger’s brother), who produced all three movies. The writer, furthermore, was Charles B. Griffith, who did the same job for half a dozen MST3K movies, including It Conquered the World, Gunslinger, and Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II. Finally, Beast from Haunted Cave has the strange distinction of being the only movie I’ve ever seen that thanks ‘the people of South Dakota’.

A master criminal and his drunk, stupid henchmen (one of whom is a drunk, stupid henchwoman) have decided to rob a mining operation. In the process they annoy some kind of giant bug monster that was living in the mine, and it stalks them and their guide through the wintery mountains until they reach a cabin where they hole up to wait out a blizzard. Between the monster lurking outside and the fact that the gang are all getting fed up being stuck indoors and starting to hate each other (a familiar scenario in 2020), it’s a good bet that no more than two of them are getting out alive. Probably the henchwoman and the guide, since they were kissing earlier.

Beast from Haunted Cave is a typically cheap Corman production. The familiar music persists through the entire film, and gives the same impression it did in Blood Beast – the soundtrack people were given a set of pre-existing pieces and did what they could with them. A terrible winter storm is represented by howling wind noises, but it never actually snows. The monster is dreadful. The webs draped over everything demonstrate that it’s a spider, but all we actually see is a featureless head and a couple of flailing arms that resemble nothing so much as one of those inflatable tube men at a used car lot. When all we’re seeing is one leg reaching out to grab people it’s not awful, but as soon as we get a good look at the whole creature it’s clear that this is some kind of repurposed Hallowe’en decoration. The gold bricks the thieves came to steal are just… well, bricks painted gold. The paint isn’t even shiny.

Outside of that, however, the movie isn’t really that bad. Everybody on the crew seems to have known what they were doing, and did their best to work within their meagre budget. The photography is surprisingly competent. The lighting rarely qualifies as atmospheric but there’s always enough of it – even in scenes set at night or in a dark cave, I never found myself squinting and wondering what’s going on. The snowy landscapes are shot on location and look suitably hostile (although they could often only do one take, since after that the snow wouldn’t look pristine anymore). You can see the actors’ breath, which gives a visceral sense of the cold. The writing is mostly just serviceable but every so often there’s a little gem tucked within it.

The two places where this shows best are in the character of Marty and in the relationship between the mastermind, Alex, and the henchwoman, Gypsy. Marty is a drunken buffoon but there’s more to him than that. Early in the film he invites a cocktail waitress from the ski lodge, Natalie, to make out in a cave with him. They disturb the monster, and Marty escapes but leaves Natalie behind. For the rest of the film, even as he continues to be a drunken buffoon, it’s clearly eating him up that he abandoned this woman. There’s an ambiguous moment when he finds Natalie’s still-living body webbed to a tree in the middle of the woods – perhaps it really happened, or maybe he’s having a nightmare.

Gypsy has clearly been working for Alex for some time, as secretary, girlfriend, and as a way of distracting the targets of his robberies. She’s an alcoholic sad sack who looks ten years older than her stated age of twenty-six, and clearly regrets her self-destructive life. She cannot leave, however, because Alex is controlling and violent, and because she wouldn’t know what she wants or who she is without him. When he beats her up for kissing Gil the guide, she later says Alex had a perfect right to slap me. At the same time, the film hints of happier times between the two in a running gag, never explained, where Alex and Gypsy call each other ‘Charles’. This seems to have once been an endearment, but is now a passive-aggressive insult.

One character whom I wish had done more is Gil’s housekeeper, Small Dove. She rarely speaks, but she carries an axe and spends a lot of time judgmentally watching the stupid white people. She could have been this movie’s Eulabelle, but she ends up getting eaten by the monster without ever doing anything badass. Shame.

Let us now return to a familiar question: who is the main character in this movie?

I guess Gil is the ‘hero’. He’s the hunky male lead, who gets the girl at the end. He never does much to further the plot, though, except for urging Gypsy to leave Alex and figure out how to lead her own life. Although she seems romantically interested in him, Gil may not return the sentiment – it’s hard to say. He doesn’t kill the monster, Marty actually does that by setting it on fire with a flare gun. Gil is just sort of there, a cardboard cut-out in the ‘handsome guy’ box all movies must have.

Gypsy has a much better claim on the protagonist role. The script takes much more interest in her situation than in anybody else’s, and we are encouraged to sympathize with her feeling lost and trapped. She survives at the end to run off with Gil, though we’re not given any indication of what they’ll do now or whether the budding relationship between them will last. Like so many other movies of its era, Beast from Haunted Cave has no denouement. We simply fade to black from the monster on fire (another thing they could only do once, since they actually burned the prop).

Gil is the one who describes the cave as ‘haunted’, but this never has anything to do with the story. There is not even a hint of a ghost or even a ghost story connected with the cave. I assume the word is in the title mostly because Beast from Cave sounds like a dinosaurs-and-cavemen movie made by the cavemen, and having put it there, Griffith felt he had to justify it with a line of dialogue.

The character who had the most potential to go through an arc is actually the antagonist, Alex. He’s been pulling heists like this for years, and is proud of his success. He has no reason to think this job will be any different, and yet as the movie progresses, Alex has to watch his plans fall apart all around him. One of his henchmen is going mad from terror and guilt. The other, Byron (who you can tell apart from Marty because Byron is The One In The Stupid Hat), is developing a crush on Small Dove and thinking about getting out of crime and settling down. Gypsy is kissing Gil right in front of him, and Alex worries what she might have told him about the real purpose of the ski trip. Then there’s the storm, which means the plane that was supposed to take them to Canada can’t get to them, and the lurking monster. At the end of the film, Alex is still trying to regain control of the situation, even as the monster closes in on him.

Criminals on the run getting menaced by a monster seems to be a surprisingly common plot for a movie. Voodoo Woman and Killer Fish were both variants on the theme. I’m guessing this serves two purposes within the plot: the first is that it means we’re not too sad when the main characters die, since they were already bad people. The second is what I think Beast from Haunted Cave was going for – it means that the characters cannot ask for help with their situation. The group know, from hearing it on the radio, that they’re being hunted by the authorities. If they were to call for help, whoever came to the rescue would find the gold bars in their bags, and they’d go straight to prison.

This idea is mostly implied. Nobody ever actually suggests calling for help, or even trying to contact the people who were gonna be flying their getaway plane. It also seems that they had no contingency plan for bad weather, which makes the whole operation look very poorly-planned.

One thing I did find myself thinking about is that the radio news mentions the police looking into the theft, but we never actually see the cops investigating. This applies to the other movies I mentioned above, as well… in Voodoo Woman we’re in an area that doesn’t seem to have much by way of police, but in Killer Fish, too, law enforcement is entirely absent. This is a good choice on the part of the writers and directors, because it allows us to focus on the monster plot. If they were to include detectives, that would unnecessarily complicate things and require a resolution of its own.

Then again, if they had two resolutions, they might have had to include some ‘wind-down’ time. I don’t like it when movies end abruptly after the monster dies, because it tends to leave dangling subplots. Gil and Gypsy are still in the middle of nowhere, and must now shelter in the cave until the storm ends. Are they going to be okay? Last time we saw Small Dove she was weakened from blood loss but not yet quite dead. Can they save her? Will Gil and Gypsy stay together, or will he encourage her to go find herself? So there’s another lesson for aspiring film-makers: don’t end your movie until the story’s actually over.

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #beast from haunted cave #50s

20 notes · View notes

lady-plantagenet · 3 years

Note

28, 24, 19, 9

In response to: Tumblr History Ask Meme: https://lady-plantagenet.tumblr.com/post/643743359209472000/ive-seen-plenty-of-tumblr-ask-challenges-but

24. Who do you consider to be one of the most underrated historical figures?

Ok. I won’t say Vlad the Impaler because he’s not strictly speaking underrated as much as he is misunderstood. I think a lot of you expect me to say George of Clarence but as much as I believe he should be studied far more than he is - maybe not much for himself (from an academic point of view I say this) as for a case study on the instability of the late medieval faith in the sanctity of the crown, the bastard feudalism phenomenon, private justice and maybe how a posterity can develop strangely throughout the centuries with little historicity. But his short life and the fact that he is stronger in his impact on history via his failure than his deeds I would say Richard Neville 16th Earl of Warwick is truly history’s most underrated figure. I have yet to read a biography of him but the fact of the matter is that his presence in the tale of the development of British history, society and constitution seems strong enough to merit a mention of him in Adam Smith’s Wealth of Nations and even among most of the works of Whig and Enlightenment historians who centuries later feel threatened by the type of person he represented to them (‘anti-progress’, ‘an impediment to the development of democracy’). Clarence is always a question of what could have been whereas Warwick lived long enough to live a truly studeable life. There was no one like him before in English Medieval history and there would be no one like him - I’ve seen strange takes on him by his biographers ‘populist’, ‘self-publicist’, ‘visionary’ and of course ‘legend’ (and indeed as it seems of a presence made known to all people). I have yet to check if these claims have any logic behind them but from what I can see they very well could. He indeed personified an era in itself and yet he’s hardly a household name nowadays??

28. Do you have a favourite “dream team” of historical figures living at the same time in a specific era of history?

The three dudes I mentioned above DEFINITELY. They could have all met had Edward IV also answered Pius II’s call to crusade. Of course, I’d rather there not be a crusade... because well... no one wants that. Vlad the Impaler was at the other side of the continent and tbh circumstances would need to probably involve the Holy Roman Empire for the three parties to ever intersect in any way. Warwick and Vlad were at opposite ends where policy was concerned... Vlad culled the boyars who he deemed corrupt at the gathering of the Tîrgoviste court and Warwick (and Clarence) was basically their English counterpart. Although, Vlad believed his nobles to have sold out the country to the Ottomans and been responsible for his father and brother’s death so there’s that going. All three did care for their country though so I guess they can unite under that and had reputations for embodying late medieval chivalry. Of course the caveat is that while Warwick (and Clarence at one point) was popular with the nobles, Vlad was deeply hated by them. But yeah I still cannot genuinely believe they were all alive at the same time like that’s actually insane. Of course, throw in Louis XI of France (another very interesting monarch) but technically speaking he and Warwick were a dream team XD.

19. What’s your favourite historical book?

Ive answered this before here :)x . I would otherwise switch to favourite fiction book but I’ve also spoken about that on here XD. And I’ll not talk about another because one can only have one favourite ey? I’ll link them here:

9. Favourite historical film?

Hmm... It’s a toss-up between Man for All Seasons and Lion in Winter. The former is about Thomas More and is extremely smart about how it handles the real cause of his downfall and the dialogue is utterly superb together with the acting. It also gets the aesthetics very down to a t and is one of those pieces that doesn’t attempt to simplify everything by making a hero or a villain out of anyone and that’s what it makes it a true tragedy. I also feel that the playwright truly understood how Catholicism= ignorance is not ok (a trope I rly hate). I also appreciate how Thomas More is shown as someone dedicated to his ideals not team Catherine, Anne or whatever; the aforementioneds are actually insignificant to the whole thing, which while might not be very accurate is refreshing.

The latter is an fictionalised Angevin drama set at the fictional Christmas court of Chignon with the whole Angevin crew: Henry, Eleanor, the three remaining sons and of course Philippe of France ready to throw a wrench. For a comedy it is extraordinary smart and I feel like it also has this vague self-awareness to it which has really survived the test of time (like the ‘it’s 1183 and we all still carry knives’ line hhh). Yet somehow it had its heartfelt moments eg Richard I and Eleanor of Aquitaine’s exchange in the gardens. Geoffrey of Brittany is also a trip to watch (who can forget the ‘I know, you know, you know I know, I know you know I know you know’ line?). Also it was great to see Peter O’Toole reprise his role as Henry II from Becket. I must say I much prefer him here. Despite being a comedy, the aesthetics and musical soundtrack never fail to draw in the necessary splendour and emotion and the acting is sensational.

#🍷❤️#I did say I would answer something today!#btw I’ll post fancy underline links tommorow when I get back onto my laptop #I appreciate it looks a bit trash #vlad the impaler #richard neville 16th earl of warwick #richard neville earl of warwick #lord warwick #warwick the kingmaker #george of clarence #george duke of clarence #george plantagenet

3 notes · View notes

mattbrothersscriptwriter · 4 years

Text

My Top 20 Films of 2019 - Part Two

I don’t think I’ve had a year where my top ten jostled and shifted as much as this one did - these really are the best of the best and my personal favourites of 2019.

10. Toy Story 4

I think we can all agree that Toy Story 3 was a pretty much perfect conclusion to a perfect trilogy right? About as close as is likely to get, I’m sure. I shared the same trepidation when part four was announced, especially after some underwhelming sequels like Finding Dory and Cars 3 (though I do have a lot of time for Monsters University and Incredibles 2). So maybe it’s because the odds were so stacked against this being good but I thought it was wonderful. A truly existential nightmare of an epilogue that does away with Andy (and mostly kids altogether) to focus on the dreams and desires of the toys themselves - separate from their ‘duties’ as playthings to biological Gods. What is their purpose in life without an owner? Can they be their own person and carve their own path? In the case of breakout new character Forky (Tony Hale), what IS life? Big big questions for a cash grab kids films huh?

The animation is somehow yet another huge leap forward (that opening rainstorm!), Bo Peep’s return is excellently pitched and the series tradition of being unnervingly horrifying is back as well thanks to those creepy ventriloquist dolls! Keanu Reeves continues his ‘Keanuassaince‘ as the hilarious Duke Caboom and this time, hopefully, the ending at least feels finite. This series means so much to me: I think the first movie is possibly the tightest, most perfect script ever written, the third is one of my favourites of the decade and growing up with the franchise (I was 9 when the first came out, 13 for part two, 24 for part three and now 32 for this one), these characters are like old friends so of course it was great to see them again. All this film had to do was be good enough to justify its existence and while there are certainly those out there that don’t believe this one managed it, I think the fact that it went as far as it did showed that Pixar are still capable of pushing boundaries and exploring infinity and beyond when they really put their minds to it.

9. The Nightingale

Hoo boy. Already controversial with talk of mass walkouts (I witnessed a few when this screened at Sundance London), it’s not hard to see why but easy to understand. Jennifer Kent (The Babadook) is a truly fearless filmmaker following up her acclaimed suburban horror movie come grief allegory with a period revenge tale set in the Tasmanian wilderness during British colonial rule in the early 1800s. It’s rare to see the British depicted with the monstrous brutality for which they were known in the distant colonies and this unflinching drama sorely needed an Australian voice behind the camera to do it justice.

The film is front loaded with some genuinely upsetting, nasty scenes of cruel violence but its uncensored brutality and the almost casual nature of its depiction is entirely the point - this was normalised behaviour over there and by treating it so matter of factly, it doesn’t slip into gratuitous ‘movie violence’. It is what it is. And what it is is hard to watch. If anything, as Kent has often stated, it’s still toned down from the actual atrocities that occurred so it’s a delicate balance that I think Kent more than understands. Quoting from an excellent Vanity Fair interview she did about how she directs, Kent said “I think audiences have become very anaesthetised to violence on screen and it’s something I find disturbing... People say ‘these scenes are so shocking and disturbing’. Of course they are. We need to feel that. When we become so removed from violence on screen, this is a very irresponsible thing. So I wanted to put us right within the frame with that person experiencing the loss of everything they hold dear”.

Aisling Franciosi is next level here as a woman who has her whole life torn from her, leaving her as nothing but a raging husk out for vengeance. It would be so easy to fall into odd couple tropes once she teams up with reluctant native tracker Billy (an equally impressive newcomer, Baykali Ganambarr) but the film continues to stay true to the harsh racism of the era, unafraid to depict our heroine - our point of sympathy - as horrendously racist towards her own ally. Their partnership is not easily solidified but that makes it all the stronger when they star to trust each other. Sam Claflin is also career best here, weaponizing his usual charm into dangerous menace and even after cementing himself as the year’s most evil villain, he can still draw out the humanity in such a broken and corrupt man.

Gorgeously shot in the Academy ratio, the forest landscape here is oppressive and claustrophobic. Kent also steps back into her horror roots with some mesmerising, skin crawling dream scenes that amplify the woozy nightmarish tone and overbearing sense of dread. Once seen, never forgotten, this is not going to be everyone’s cup of tea (and that’s fine) but when cinema can affect you on such a visceral level and be this powerful, reflective and honest about our own past, it’s hard to ignore. Stunning.

8. The Irishman

Aka Martin Scorsese’s magnum opus, I did manage to see this one in a cinema before the Netflix drop and absolutely loved it. I’ve watched 85 minute long movies that felt longer than this - Marty’s mastery of pace, energy and knowing when to let things play out in agonising detail is second to none. This epic tale of the life of Frank Sheeran (Robert De Niro) really is the cinematic equivalent of having your cake and eating it too, allowing Scorsese to run through a greatest hits victory lap of mobster set pieces, alpha male arguments, a decades spanning life story and one (last?) truly great Joe Pesci performance before simply letting the story... continue... to a natural, depressing and tragic ending, reflecting the emptiness of a life built on violence and crime.

For a film this long, it’s impressive how much the smallest details make the biggest impacts. A stammering phone call from a man emotionally incapable of offering any sort of condolence. The cold refusal of forgiveness from a once loving daughter. A simple mirroring of a bowl of cereal or a door left slightly ajar. These are the parts of life that haunt us all and it’s what we notice the most in a deliberately lengthy biopic that shows how much these things matter when everything else is said and done. The violence explodes in sudden, sharp bursts, often capping off unbearably tense sequences filled with the everyday (a car ride, a conversation about fish, ice cream...) and this contrast between the whizz bang of classic Scorsese and the contemplative nature of Silence era Scorsese is what makes this film feel like such an accomplishment. De Niro is FINALLY back but it’s the memorably against type role for Pesci and an invigorated Al Pacino who steals this one, along with a roll call of fantastic cameos, with perhaps the most screentime given to the wonderfully petty Stephen Graham as Tony Pro, not to mention Anna Paquin’s near silent performance which says more than possibly anyone else.

Yes, the CG de-aging is misguided at best, distracting at worst (I never really knew how old anyone was meant to be at any given time... which is kinda a problem) but like how you get used to it really quickly when it’s used well, here I kinda got past it being bad in an equally fast amount of time and just went with it. Would it have been a different beast had they cast younger actors to play them in the past? Undoubtedly. But if this gives us over three hours of Hollywood’s finest giving it their all for the last real time together, then that’s a compromise I can live with.

7. The Last Black Man in San Francisco

Wow. I was in love with this film from the moving first trailer but then the film itself surpassed all expectations. This is a true indie film success story, with lead actor Jimmie Fails developing the idea with director Joe Talbot for years before Kickstarting a proof of concept and eventually getting into Sundance with short film American Paradise, which led to the backing of this debut feature through Plan B and A24. The deeply personal and poetic drama follows a fictionalised version of Jimmie, trying to buy back an old Victorian town house he claims was built by his grandfather, in an act of rebellion against the increasingly gentrified San Francisco that both he and director Talbot call home.

The film is many things - a story of male friendship, of solidarity within our community, of how our cities can change right from underneath us - it moves to the beat of it’s own drum, with painterly cinematography full of gorgeous autumnal colours and my favourite score of the year from Emile Mosseri. The performances, mostly by newcomers or locals outside of brilliant turns from Jonathan Majors, Danny Glover and Thora Birch, are wonderful and the whole thing is such a beautiful love letter to the city that it makes you ache for a strong sense of place in your own home, even if your relationship with it is fractured or strained. As Jimmie says, “you’re not allowed to hate it unless you love it”.

For me, last year’s Blindspotting (my favourite film of the year) tackled gentrification within California more succinctly but this much more lyrical piece of work ebbs and flows through a number of themes like identity, family, memory and time. It’s a big film living inside a small, personal one and it is not to be overlooked.

6. Little Women

I had neither read the book nor seen any prior adaptation of Louisa May Alcott’s 1868 novel so to me, this is by default the definitive telling of this story. If from what I hear, the non linear structure is Greta Gerwig’s addition, then it’s a total slam dunk. It works so well in breaking up the narrative and by jumping from past to present, her screenplay highlights certain moments and decisions with a palpable sense of irony, emotional weight or knowing wink. Getting to see a statement made with sincere conviction and then paid off within seconds, can be both a joy and a surefire recipe for tears. Whether it’s the devastating contrast between scenes centred around Beth’s illness or the juxtaposition of character’s attitudes to one another, it’s a massive triumph. Watching Amy angrily tell Laurie how she’s been in love with him all her life and then cutting back to her childishly making a plaster cast of her foot for him (’to remind him how small her feet are’) is so funny.

Gerwig and her impeccable cast bring an electric energy to the period setting, capturing the big, messy realities of family life with a mix of overwhelming cross-chatter and the smallest of intimate gestures. It’s a testament to the film that every sister feels fully serviced and represented, from Beth’s quiet strength to Amy’s unforgivable sibling rivalry. Chris Cooper’s turn as a stoic man suffering almost imperceptible grief is a personal heartbreaking favourite.

The book’s (I’m assuming) most sweeping romantic statements are wonderfully delivered, full of urgent passion and relatable heartache, from Marmie’s (Laura Dern) “I’m angry nearly every day of my life” moment to Jo’s (Saoirse Ronan) painful defiance of feminine attributes not being enough to cure her loneliness. The sheer amount of heart and warmth in this is just remarkable and I can easily see it being a film I return to again and again.

5. Booksmart

2019 has been a banner year for female directors, making their exclusion from some of the early awards conversations all the more damning. From this list alone, we have Lulu Wang, Jennifer Kent and Greta Gerwig. Not to mention Lorene Scafaria (Hustlers), Melina Matsoukas (Queen & Slim), Jocelyn DeBoer & Dawn Luebbe (Greener Grass), Sophie Hyde (Animals) and Rose Glass (Saint Maud - watch out for THIS one in 2020, it’s brilliant). Perhaps the most natural transition from in front of to behind the camera has been made by Olivia Wilde, who has created a borderline perfect teen comedy that can make you laugh till you cry, cry till you laugh and everything in-between.

Subverting the (usually male focused) ‘one last party before college’ tropes that fuel the likes of Superbad and it’s many inferior imitators, Booksmart follows two overachievers who, rather than go on a coming of age journey to get some booze or get laid, simply want to indulge in an insane night of teenage freedom after realising that all of the ‘cool kids’ who they assumed were dropouts, also managed to get a place in all of the big universities. It’s a subtly clever remix of an old favourite from the get go but the committed performances from Kaitlyn Dever and Beanie Feldstein put you firmly in their shoes for the whole ride.

It’s a genuine blast, with big laughs and a bigger heart, portraying a supportive female friendship that doesn’t rely on hokey contrivances to tear them apart, meaning that when certain repressed feelings do come to the surface, the fallout is heartbreaking. As I stated in a twitter rave after first seeing it back in May, every single character, no matter how much they might appear to be simply representing a stock role or genre trope, gets their moment to be humanised. This is an impeccably cast ensemble of young unknowns who constantly surprise and the script is a marvel - a watertight structure without a beat out of place, callbacks and payoffs to throwaway gags circle back to be hugely important and most of all, the approach taken to sexuality and representation feels so natural. I really think it is destined to be looked back on and represent 2019 the way Heathers does ‘88, Clueless ‘95 or Easy A 2010. A new high benchmark for crowd pleasing, indie comedy - teen or otherwise.

4. Ad Astra

Brad Pitt is one of my favourite actors and one who, despite still being a huge A-lister even after 30 years in the game, never seems to get enough credit for the choices he makes, the movies he stars in and also the range of stories he helps produce through his company, Plan B. 2019 was something of a comeback year for Pitt as an actor with the insanely measured and controlled lead performance seen here in Ad Astra and the more charismatic and chaotic supporting role in Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood.

I love space movies, especially those that are more about broken people blasting themselves into the unknown to search for answers within themselves... which manages to sum up a lot of recent output in this weirdly specific sub-genre. First Man was a devastating look at grief characterised by a man who would rather go to a desolate rock than have to confront what he lost, all while being packaged as a heroic biopic with a stunning score. Gravity and The Martian both find their protagonists forced to rely on their own cunning and ingenuity to survive and Interstellar looked at the lengths we go to for those we love left behind. Smaller, arty character studies like High Life or Moon are also astounding. All of this is to say that Ad Astra takes these concepts and runs with them, challenging Pitt to cross the solar system to talk some sense into his long thought dead father (Tommy Lee Jones). But within all the ‘sad dad’ stuff, there’s another film in here just daring you to try and second guess it - one that kicks things off with a terrifying free fall from space, gives us a Mad Max style buggy chase on the moon and sidesteps into horror for one particular set-piece involving a rabid baboon in zero G! It manages to feel so completely nuts, so episodic in structure, that I understand why a lot of people were turned off - feeling that the overall film was too scattershot to land the drama or too pondering to have any fun with. I get the criticisms but for me, both elements worked in tandem, propelling Pitt on this (assumed) one way journey at a crazy pace whilst sitting back and languishing in the ‘bigger themes’ more associated with a Malik or Kubrick film. Something that Pitt can sell me on in his sleep by this point.

I loved the visuals from cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema (Interstellar), loved the imagination and flair of the script from director James Gray and Ethan Gross and loved the score by Max Richter (with Lorne Balfe and Nils Frahm) but most of all, loved Pitt, proving that sometimes a lot less, is a lot more. The sting of hearing the one thing he surely knew (but hoped he wouldn’t) be destined to hear from his absent father, acted almost entirely in his eyes during a third act confrontation, summed up the movie’s brilliance for me - so much so that I can forgive some of the more outlandish ‘Mr Hyde’ moments of this thing’s alter ego... like, say, riding a piece of damaged hull like a surfboard through a meteor debris field!

3. Avengers: Endgame

It’s no secret that I think Marvel, the MCU in particular, have been going from strength to strength in recent years, slowly but surely taking bigger risks with filmmakers (the bonkers Taika Waititi, the indie darlings of Ryan Coogler, Cate Shortland and Chloe Zhao) whilst also carefully crafting an entertaining, interconnected universe of characters and stories. But what is the point of building up any movie ‘universe’ if you’re not going to pay it off and Endgame is perhaps the strongest conclusion to eleven years of movie sequels that fans could have possibly hoped for.

Going into this thing, the hype was off the charts (and for good reason, with it now being the highest grossing film of all time) but I remember souring on the first entry of this two-parter, Infinity War, during the time between initial release and Endgame’s premiere. That film had a game-changing climax, killing off half the heroes (and indeed the universe’s population) and letting the credits role on the villain having achieved his ultimate goal. It was daring, especially for a mammoth summer blockbuster but obviously, we all knew the deaths would never be permanent, especially with so many already-announced sequels for now ‘dusted’ characters. However, it wasn’t just the feeling that everything would inevitably be alright in the end. For me, the characters themselves felt hugely under-serviced, with arguably the franchise’s main goody two shoes Captain America being little more than a beardy bloke who showed up to fight a little bit. Basically what I’m getting at is that I felt Endgame, perhaps emboldened by the giant runtime, managed to not only address these character slights but ALSO managed to deliver the most action packed, comic booky, ‘bashing your toys together’ final fight as well.

It’s a film of three parts, each pretty much broken up into one hour sections. There’s the genuinely new and interesting initial section following our heroes dealing with the fact that they lost... and it stuck. Thor angrily kills Thanos within the first fifteen minutes but it’s a meaningless action by this point - empty revenge. Cutting to five years later, we get to see how defeat has affected them, for better or worse, trying to come to terms with grief and acceptance. Cap tries to help the everyman, Black Widow is out leading an intergalactic mop up squad and Thor is wallowing in a depressive black hole. It’s a shocking and vibrantly compelling deconstruction of the whole superhero thing and it gives the actors some real meat to chew on, especially Robert Downy Jr here who goes from being utterly broken to fighting within himself to do the right thing despite now having a daughter he doesn’t want to lose too. Part two is the trip down memory lane, fan service-y time heist which is possibly the most fun section of any of these movies, paying tribute to the franchise’s past whilst teetering on a knife’s edge trying to pull off a genuine ‘mission impossible’. And then it explodes into the extended finale which pays everyone off, demonstrates some brilliantly imaginative action and sticks the landing better than it had any right to. In a year which saw the ending of a handful of massive geek properties, from Game of Thrones to Star Wars, it’s a miracle even one of them got it right at all. That Endgame managed to get it SO right is an extraordinary accomplishment and if anything, I think Marvel may have shot themselves in the foot as it’s hard to imagine anything they can give us in the future having the intense emotional weight and momentum of this huge finale.

2. Knives Out

Rian Johnson has been having a ball leaping into genre sandpits and stirring shit up, from his teen spin on noir in Brick to his quirky con man caper with The Brothers Bloom, his time travel thriller Looper and even his approach to the Star Wars mythos in The Last Jedi. Turning his attention to the relatively dead ‘whodunnit’ genre, Knives Out is a perfect example of how to celebrate everything that excites you about a genre whilst weaponizing it’s tropes against your audience’s baggage and preconceptions.

An impeccable cast have the time of their lives here, revelling in playing self obsessed narcissists who scramble to punt the blame around when the family’s patriarch, a successful crime novelist (Christopher Plummer), winds up dead. Of course there’s something fishy going on so Daniel Craig’s brilliantly dry southern detective Benoit Blanc is called in to investigate.There are plenty of standouts here, from Don Johnson’s ignorant alpha wannabe Richard to Michael Shannon’s ferocious eldest son Walt to Chris Evan’s sweater wearing jock Ransom, full of unchecked, white privilege swagger. But the surprise was the wholly sympathetic, meek, vomit prone Marta, played brilliantly by Ana de Armas, cast against her usual type of sultry bombshell (Knock Knock, Blade Runner 2049), to spearhead the biggest shake up of the genre conventions. To go into more detail would begin to tread into spoiler territory but by flipping the audience’s engagement with the detective, we’re suddenly on the receiving end of the scrutiny and the tension derived from this switcheroo is genius and opens up the second act of the story immensely.

The whole thing is so lovingly crafted and the script is one of the tightest I’ve seen in years. The amount of setup and payoff here is staggering and never not hugely satisfying, especially as it heads into it’s final stretch. It really gives you some hope that you could have such a dense, plotty, character driven idea for a story and that it could survive the transition from page to screen intact and for the finished product to work as well as it does. I really hope Johnson returns to tell another Benoit Blanc mystery and judging by the roaring box office success (currently over $200 million worldwide for a non IP original), I certainly believe he will.

1. Eighth Grade

My film of the year is another example of the power of cinema to put us in other people’s shoes and to discover the traits, fears, joys and insecurities that we all share irregardless. It may shock you to learn this but I have never been a 13 year old teenage girl trying to get by in the modern world of social media peer pressure and ‘influencer’ culture whilst crippled with personal anxiety. My school days almost literally could not have looked more different than this (less Instagram, more POGs) and yet, this is a film about struggling with oneself, with loneliness, with wanting more but not knowing how to get it without changing yourself and the careless way we treat those with our best interests at heart in our selfish attempt to impress peers and fit in. That is understandable. That is universal. And as I’m sure I’ve said a bunch of times in this list, movies that present the most specific worldview whilst tapping into universal themes are the ones that inevitably resonate the most.

Youtuber and comedian Bo Burnham has crafted an impeccable debut feature, somehow portraying a generation of teens at least a couple of generations below his own, with such laser focused insight and intimate detail. It’s no accident that this film has often been called a sort of social-horror, with cringe levels off the charts and recognisable trappings of anxiety and depression in every frame. The film’s style services this feeling at every turn, from it’s long takes and nauseous handheld camerawork to the sensory overload in it’s score (take a bow Anna Meredith) and the naturalistic performances from all involved. Burnham struck gold when he found Elsie Fisher, delivering the most painful and effortlessly real portrayal of a tweenager in crisis as Kayla. The way she glances around skittishly, the way she is completely lost in her phone, the way she talks, even the way she breathes all feeds into the illusion - the film is oftentimes less a studio style teen comedy and more a fly on the wall documentary.

This is a film that could have coasted on being a distant, social media based cousin to more standard fare like Sex Drive or Superbad or even Easy A but it goes much deeper, unafraid to let you lower your guard and suddenly hit you with the most terrifying scene of casually attempted sexual aggression or let you watch this pure, kindhearted girl falter and question herself in ways she shouldn’t even have to worry about. And at it’s core, there is another beautiful father/daughter relationship, with Josh Hamilton stuck on the outside looking in, desperate to help Kayla with every fibre of his being but knowing there are certain things she has to figure out for herself. It absolutely had me and their scene around a backyard campfire is one of the year’s most touching.

This is a truly remarkable film that I think everyone should seek out but I’m especially excited for all the actual teenage girls who will get to watch this and feel seen. This isn’t about the popular kid, it isn’t about the dork who hangs out with his or her own band of misfits. This is about the true loner, that person trying everything to get noticed and still ending up invisible, that person trying to connect through the most disconnected means there is - the internet - and everything that comes with it. Learning that the version of yourself you ‘portray’ on a Youtube channel may act like they have all the answers but if you’re kidding yourself then how do you grow?

When I saw this in the cinema, I watched a mother take her seat with her two daughters, aged probably at around nine and twelve. Possibly a touch young for this, I thought, and I admit I cringed a bit on their behalf during some very adult trailers but in the end, I’m glad their mum decided they were mature enough to see this because a) they had a total blast and b) life simply IS R rated for the most part, especially during our school years, and those girls being able to see someone like Kayla have her story told on the big screen felt like a huge win. I honestly can’t wait to see what Burnham or Fisher decide to do next. 2019 has absolutely been their year... and it’s been a hell of a year.

#top 20 #films of the year #films of 2019 #10-1 #toy story 4 #the nightingale #the irishman #the last black man in san francisco #little women #booksmart #ad astra #avengers endgame #knives out #eighth grade

77 notes · View notes

sleepykittypaws · 3 years

Text

Holly & Ivy

Original Air Date: November 1, 2020 (Hallmark Movies & Mysteries) Where to Watch?: Hallmark will replay it multiple times this season, and for every season in perpetuity

Circled back around to Holly & Ivy, after hearing good things and…hoo boy.

First and foremost, in case it needs to be said, please don't give your children to random unemployed strangers you met less than two weeks prior. It's, at best, poor parenting form.

But judgement doesn't seem to be anyone in this movie's strong suit, as within 48 hours of meeting, mom is hitting up the neighbor she met yesterday afternoon for childcare, and said new nanny immediately starts taking the kids on construction field trips without even mentioning it to mom.

Hot tip: Don't invite kids not related to you into your home, or give them gifts, or take them places without asking parental permission first. And, if you're a parent, don't rely on strangers for babysitting. It's like these people have never even seen a horror movie.

Perhaps that’s why they didn’t notice how creepy those elves were. That she was using them to lure children into her home is even creepier. There is definitely an alternate, horror version of this movie where the elves come to life and murder everyone, and Janel Parrish has to keep moving from town to town to provide them with victims and hide their killings so they don’t murder her, too…and it's possible I'm rooting for that outcome.

Showing no sign of illness other than not sledding, then saying your children's father is "not an option," is not sufficient explanation for pawning them off on a stranger. Mystery dad was apparently option enough to knock you up not once, but twice, and therefore in your life for a good 4-5 years minimum, given the kids’ age difference. And a father isn't the only family they’d have from the paternal side. What about his parents? Siblings, et al? All would be more logical caregiver options than someone you've known a grand total of ten days. Feel like the backstory there would be a better movie than what we’re watching.

A young, single woman of no relation, with no history with your (or any) children, no foster parent training…This is not what you'd call a solid guardian selection, and the state is going to have a lot more issue with all of the above, than whether or not her house is fully decorated. If Marisol Nichols really wants Parrish to take the kids, those two should be the ones getting married, so Parrish at least has a legal claim.

Home visits inspect for things like health hazards, and making sure you have legal right to be in your domicile. They want to make sure you're not cramming six kids in a studio apartment that lacks heat. They do not care if your reading nook is sufficiently cozy.

Also, just FYI, no one can build, sand, stain and upholster said nook in a morning. It's not humanly possible.

OH MY GOD, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH A JOB YOU DO TO MAKE A LIVING. Great, I'm yelling at my TV and just woke up my husband, who does some of his best napping during Hallmark Christmas movies. This is going well.

But, for real, the core fight these two have, again and again, is whether or not they should (gasp of horror) get paying jobs. This is the disappointing obstacle their relationship must overcome. Beyond frustrating.

What former foster child just out of grad school has savings to buy a house? Like, that’s not a thing. Grad school is prohibitively expensive. She’d be groaning under the weight of massive loans and unable to be all, ‘But my dreams,’ when it comes to needing employment, or just, ‘Welp, guess I’ll move into this house that needs tens of thousands of dollars of work even though my job fell through.’ What could do go wrong?

And, oof, that poor librarian who was being stalked by Parrish. You can not harass someone into giving you a job. If there is no money to hire you, as she has told you 49 times now, there is no job. Please leave this poor woman alone before she takes out a restraining order. I thought she was going to have to burn the library down and go into witness protection to shake Parrish following her around and spouting off random ideas that would cost even more money the library didn’t have.

And in case you wondered who the core audience for these films are, this is, conservatively, the fourth commercial for the "Hurry Cane" I've seen, so it's possible the fact that I still have all my own teeth and reliable bladder control (humble brag) is why I'm not enjoying this.

Clearly, Jeremey Jordan's parents are monsters for wanting him to be [checks notes] financially independant? Successful at something he's good at, which is absolutely in the same wheelhouse as the work he says he dreams of doing? Giving him business leads that could result in expansion? Just horrible, awful garbage people in need of a redemption arc, clearly. Why didn’t they do something thoughtful and caring…Like attempt to give Jeremy Jordan to one of the neighbors?

Why is this random child's "grandmother" roughly 38? And why are we prentending this barely middle aged woman is incapacitated in any way?

IDEAS DO NOT EQUAL EMPLOYMENT. IN FACT, IDEAS USUALLY COST YOU MONEY, NOT MAKE IT. A bookmobile is a free community service, not a career. This isn’t how jobs works. It’s not how anything works. Aggle flaggle klabble…[bangs head against wall].

I think I hate this movie.

So, Jeremy Jordan's parents were totally against him building furniture and sleds until they realized, 'Wait a minute, we own three Range Rover dealerships and are clearly rich, so it doesn't really matter if he can make his own living,” right? I mean, that’s the only logical explanation.

Hallmark checklist for succes. Step One: Be born into wealth. Step Two: Do whatever you want because you were born into wealth. Step Three: Happiness!

Did I mention I'm hating this movie?

[Five minutes later]

Damnit, I’m crying during the epilogue. Curse you, Hallmark!

Final Judgement: My tears aside…No paws for you!

2 notes · View notes

aspiestvmusings · 5 years

Text

THE MASKED SINGER: SEASON 2 [SPOILERS]: MY THOUGHTS & GUESSES

I was gonna do a full guesses post for the shows second season, but then I realized... I might be on to something (because I guessed 50% of the first double-episodes masks) & I don’t wanna ruin it for so many, so I am only giving my HINTS of the my guesses, not the names or anything. But still...

SPOILER WARNING!

I didn’t watch during S1, but I saw the clips over summer & have watched the first few shows this season...

During the first week I knew one of the reveals. The other I did not know, because I'm “old” & am just not familair with current young generation idols and stars... And the more I think about my guesses (I did just google each of my guesses..fast, and many things I read match with the character clues I suspect they play on this show, so...)

CHARACTERS IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER

1. The Black Widow = before I heard her & could make my own guesses that weren’t guided by others opinions, I heard other peoples guesses & now can’t see/hear anyone else...besides the ones others suggested. Yet I am not sure which of the possibilities it actually is. I’m torn between two ladies - R. & A. ETA on Oct 17th: After tonight’s ep clues it’s basically conformed - that’s miss R.

2. The Butterfly = before I heard her & could make my own guesses that weren’t guided by others opinions, I heard other peoples guesses & now can’t see/hear anyone else... besides the ones others suggested. Yet I am not sure which of the possibilities it actually is. ETA: After the Oct 17th episode it’s pretty much confirmed that it’s miss M. (the singer, not the actress)

3. The Eagle = HAVE NOT HEARD HIM PERFORM YET, but based on the outfit & first clues it is a big “rock” star from the “past”. Yet I am not sure which of the possibilities it actually is. ETA: Well, this one was pure character play - he was the “weakest link” of the episode. Not a singer. He was the one unmasked. It was... SPOILER. And since I’m not from US, he’s one of the stars I did not know & hence would’ve never guessed.

4. The Flamingo = before I heard her & could make my own guesses that weren’t guided by others opinions, I heard other peoples guesses & now can’t see/hear anyone else... besides the ones others suggested. Yet I am not sure which of the possibilities it actually is. ETA on Oct 17th: After tonight’s ep clues it’s basically conformed - that’s miss A.

5. The Flower = HAVE NOT HEARD HER PERFORM YET, but based on the clues it can only be one person. An actress. The clues that reveal it’s her are: There are a dozen (read: 12) reasons...; She blossoms in every field she plants herself in. Also...the number 314 was seen at one point (which in this case is not P = 3.14, but stands for something other). These three clues alone tell us who she is. Miss M. The doctorate clue also points to her. But... then there are clues & things that say the opposite. EDIT: And after seeing & hearing her... I’m torn...cause now it seems that it’s someone “legendary”, cause of that voice! ETA: It was miss P.L.

6. The Fox = The clues strongly suggest this is one of the Marvel superheroes. Since I haven’t heard him perform yet, I cannot be sure who. But based on the looks (his posture, movement...), and the clues so far it sounds most like Mr. J. EDIT: But... after hearing him it sounds more like mr. W (who I originally considered for Thingamajic) - he worked with actors, who were hinted at the clue section. Yet... I still think that despite what he sounds like it actually is someone, who plays a superhero on TV/in films, and I’m still leaning towards MCU actor. But I have to re-listen to make a better guess. Cause the clues suggest different MCU actors than I initially thought based on the previews... Yet it could also be someone else, who has been in film industry.... But based on the voice it’s most likely mr. W.

7. The Ladybug = before I heard her & could make my own guesses that weren’t guided by others opinions, I heard other peoples guesses & now can’t see/hear anyone else... besides the ones others suggested. Yet I am not sure which of the possibilities it actually is. It does sound a lot like miss K. based on the voice, and the clues, though. ETA: Yes, it was K.O.

8. The Leopard = The clues point to several possibilities, but based on the voice alone..my first guess (and so far only guess based on that voice) is Mr. S. Most clues also fit him. A few clues don’t fit that well, but his voice to me sounded most similar to the man known by the artist name different than the one he’s portraying. And all the lines mentioned by/about him on stage were direct references/quotes/titles of his hit songs etc. The other clues hint more towards a stage presence of a more colourful persona though, so other peoples guesses that it’s B. or R. or R. or J. or D. are good, too. I’m just unfamiliar with some of their voices, so cannot agree/disagree. Based on his behaviour I’d say it’s mr. J. The personality seems more like J. (a known “prankster” with amazing voice & talent), or R. (he’s worn leopard print outfits that made into headlines, he’s British, has had hits...only thing is that to me the voice doesn’t match the characters...though great singers can mask their voices, too...).

The clues: British Elizabethan dress/costume; the “British accent”, the newspaper headlines in the clues segment: Crazy game ends with win for the Leopard + Out of Hits & Out of Time + The Runaway; adaptable & can survive anywhwhere - even under harsh conditions; knows what it’s like to be at the top; has had many hit songs (he’s been a heavy hitter); “scandals” & “celebrity culture” - people/fans more interested in the celebrity aspect & rumours etc... than in his music/talent; he really doesn’t care what they about what he’s wearing...or about his relationships; clock hand on number 9; J’adore; “Don’t stop”; DIVINE: "Leopards can be fierce, and yer so divine”; playing with the hosts/Nick's tux/suit; Kiss(ed by) from a Leopard; “from the jungle”; “piercing green eyes”; ready for the spotlight; “ready to move mountains”; “spectacular performances”; "The Secret Service”; “Spotted with the presidents”

ETA on Oct 17th: After tonight’s ep clues it’s confirmed - that’s mr. S. Almost no chance it could be anyone else... Oh, darling...that gave you away. And even though several clues fit also mr. T.D., the song title references to me confirm my first guess.

9. The Penguin = I HAVE NOT HEARD HER PERFORM YET

10. The Rottweiler = The voice and several clues say it’s well known singer Mr. C. (who lost to miss K.M.), but the clues are also very fitting to a singing actor Mr. S. (who co-starred opposite the same miss K.M. on a certain show)…but though I know he has a great singing voice, based on many things I’m currently leaning towards my first guess. Both fit several of the clues..in several ways, though! All the (fantasy) football, abs/six pack (and most likely coming clues that claim he’s a comic book fan & supports his wife...publicly, is a proud + great father)... clues fit both of them - these two men have quite a lot in common. Both are also born in the same year & both had/have a big birthday this year. The voice seems so much like the singers, and the clues fit so well (everything from the football to roses to the “beauty salon setting” and the LIVE fit this great voice, who has had hits on radio). At the same time almost all clues & much more suggest it’s the actor with a good voice (whose old band had the word dog in it, whose been in a boy band, whose done musical theatre, and who might have found bigger fame on tv/film, but to those who know him... he’s always been a great singer & performer, he’s even been in a band that was a “warm up act” for N’Sync tour once. He’s a multi-talent, who studied to be a structural engineer... and even though he was working on one big project this summer, I do think he would’ve had time to also do this).

For me the greatness of the voice + the hair salon and one specific line in the clues suggest it’s the singer & the on-stage-presence and backwards hat suggests the actor. Everything else fits both! So it all depends on if the chose the “hip hop” look as a disguise...cause the singer is not known as hiphop artist, or if the hip outfit is more his style...which would mean it’s the actor. If I’d figure out the dog’s (that’s god backwards) height, I’d know which of the two he is, because one of them is 172cm and the other 182cm & the taller one is also buff-ier (he’s all muscles!..and the dog seems quite small under the costume) - The Rottweiler seems to be about the same height as the host Nick (he is 183cm) - their shoulders seem to be about the same height, so this would tip the scales to the actor. But after a re-watch it now seems to me the dog is shorter than the host, so that confirms the singer. Even the fact that they’ve always had the lead roles (on screen, in bands...), but they’ve also both lost to someone else...is similar. If they’d include numbers as clues, then number 5 would suggest the singer & number 425 the actor. If the blue roses symbolise a tattoo, its the singer, if the blue & purple symbolise something else (HD), its the singer...

Only thing I can’t directly connect to either of the two is the gold chain... That seems to suggest at the third option... or maybe it was added just to make the two parts of the costume blend in better together...not be so obvious) But then I’ve also heard some great guesses from others & though I am unfamiliar with Mr. B.W.’s voice, several (dog) clues fit him, too. He’s done music with canine titles, and he’s talented + he’s also known to wear gold. Plus I am also kinda suspecting (based on the great voice) that it might be a certain Canadian even though I cannot fit most clues to him... But in my minds if it’s not one of the two I suspect, I will be very surprised. It would also be a great and fun “promotional” trick, if the dog would be the spider-kid T.H., who is the voice of a dog in an upcoming film (he even posted a pic of his charcater with the same words the dog used “This dog’s bark is just as good as his bite”. But it cannot be either him or his screen-dad mr. R.D.J, cause while they both match the height, they dont match the voice or the clues. Based on the costume choice it’d be the funniest if it was one of the (hiphop) artists, who use a canine name: Snoop Doggy Dog, Pitbull... but the voice and clues match others better.

The clues: The hair salon/beauty salon style setting; the vinyl record with the title/name LIVE playing; “grooming” shaving the dogs “body hair”; “touched the pigs skin under the friday night lights” (pigs skin = football) = Friday Night (Lights); preparation is key; blue roses; (being a) hungry competitor; rising to fame (by being a competitor)... almost overnight; Fantasy (Football) Champion (ring); was bitten by a dog/rottweiler as a kid; “it’s not over”; gold chain around his neck; the big (golden) wrist watch; (golden) bowtie; the (backwards) baseball hat; the fashionable look and the sneakers; “this pretty pup’s got chops”; “take a bite out of this competition”; just “wait and see”; “get up on our high lanes”; “he’s there to be the best in show and his bark is just as big as his bite”; he’s a total perfectionist; “he’s gonna work his tail out to earn your puppy love”; the fashionable hip-hop look of the costume; roses are blue - violets are red (a poem by Patrick Star?), “rockin’ a furry 6-pack”, = the six-pack! (abs)

If the next clues say that he has strong arms it’s the actor, if they say that he wanted to become the iNext Michael, but didn’t..it’s the singer. Either way...all eyes are on the Rottweiler... ;) And since the height & the song clues pretty much confirm it’s the singer....the song choice makes sense, too. He has actually performed with Hall & Oates. I’ve heard him sing “Out of Touch” with the band/duo. So, while I still wish it could be the actor... there are clues that pretty much confirm it is the singer... the height alone does that. Yet... the dog is holding the mic in his left hand... and I’ve only ever seen the singer hold the mic in his right, when he performs, but the actor switches hands (ambidextrous while holding the mic), so... I really need to hear and see some more to solve this mystery, cause I keep going back & forth... ETA: It is mr. C.D.

....

11. The Skeleton = If this is not some known comedian/host/comedic actor, I will be surprised. Based on the voice alone I can’t really guess. Based on the stage presence the character reminds me of Mr. M.’s character on a certain streaming services show, - there was/is a storyline about him doing musical theatre, and this stage presence + voice to me looks so much like that characters stage presence. Only thing throwing me off is that though that actor is also shorter & older, it doesn’t really seem to be him (the appearance). But… actors can be good at disguising themselves… Also..the clues apparently fit him… so well! I do not read gossip magazines (usually), but I just googled him to see this latest projects, etc...like I did with all the names that I suspect are hiding behind the masks...to check the facts for this post) and the headlines about him this year match the skeleton’s clues…quite well, so now I'm not sure. But I still think its someone a bit younger than mr. M.).

12. The Thingamajic = The stage presence screams tall athlete (basketball/baseball player). The clues give us a possible birthday and from the people born on that day who can sing (read: who I am aware of that can sing) Mr. V. fits most of the clues + what can be seen & heard. It could be some other tall athlete, or non-athlete. Like mr. J (who has played a character, who was a huge Chewbacca & SW fan), who is tall...though I remember his natural voice being different. But..since the show likes to trick us, I’d say that the person inside the costume is not as tall as the outfit suggest, so I would guess more based on the voice than by the height alone. So.. it could also be Mr. W., who is not 7 feet tall, but whose voice (to me) seems very similar to this characters (many clues fit him extremely well). For me its either V. or W. ETA: It is mr. V.O:

The clues: The height (7 feet tall with the costume); backstage dressing room style outfit closet; plaid/tartan shirts; karaoke style subtitles during the clue segment; rhyming text during the clue segment; puzzling/puzzles; gentle giant, feather (feathery kind of gentle giant); portfolio case with wings; a magic case (magic ticks); keep up the pace; triangles; old school style microphone stand; loves to sing...but isn’t necessarily known as a singer; silhouettes of people & palm trees...; he’s more than fashion shoots and dreams; sneakers; “walk the line” - rope walking; magnifying glass, number 4 (on a cupcake), colourful glasses frames, dressed in plaid, rip/tear in the costume on the “thigh”, his eyes are actually at the height where the costumes mouth is. He’s ALL the things we see (in the clue package & more), “I’m easy like a Sunday morning", ON AIR 31-33-41-43, in need of a dentist, he’s kind of a big deal, “welcome to my kingdom”, his puzzling persona, he’s literally unlike anything like you’ve ever seen or heard before, He’s not Chewbacca...though they do celebrate together. ETA on Oct 17th: After tonights ep clues it’s conformed - that’s mr. V.

13. The Tree = before I heard her & could make my own guesses that weren’t guided by others opinions, I heard other peoples guesses & now can’t see/hear anyone else... besides the ones others suggested. Yet I am not sure which of the possibilities it actually is. I wish it was an actress, who also sings - miss Z. She’s done Christmas films/music... but that voice is not really hers, so...

EXTRA: If I am correct in guessing their identities, then two of the male singers behind the masks have worked together on a special musical project in 2016.

ALREADY BEEN REVEALED

1. The Egg = Johnny Weir (He was the only one I guessed based on the clues + his on stage performance & presence + voice)

2. The Ice Cream = Tyler “Ninja” Blevins (The kids may start to know the popular names amongst todays next generation, but I am “old”, so his name & persona were completely unknown to me)

3. The Panda = Laila Ali (I should’ve known based on the letter the baby panda wrote to her daddy panda, but I didn’t guess immediately & decided to watch the reveal right away… not giving myself time to guess some more)

4. The Eagle = Dr. Drew Pinsky (radio host)

5. The Skeleton = Mr. SPOILER

NOTE: I am new to this show, but since I love music, and I love puzzles, I have decided to follow this season. And since i did’t watch last year (just watched clips etc later...), and am unaware of how things are done on the show, but... based on the two shows I’ve now seen... it kinda seems to me that they are hiding clues about the contestants in other contestants parts. Like... if we’d use last season as an example... they’d say “this person has felt PAIN... a lot” for someone else than the Monster character. Or “he’s a KNIGHT in shining armor”...for someone else than the Bee character. I just had this strange sensation when listening to/watching the clues that the things they alluded to weren’t always about the character whose segment was on.

Also: I do not think the comments that the “judges” say are pointless. I do think that they’ve chosen very carefully which ones to keep. Like I think that “I don’t think its an actor on a tv show” is meaningless. The little, seemingly random lines often seem to me actually like clues.

For those, who are familiar with showbiz and people in showbiz the show is/should be really easy. The voices + the clues combined make it too easy... but none of us are familiar with every “celebrity”, which is why not all masked singers are guessed correctly. But yeah, I would say that the clues are often too easy. Like...if the Flower, Fox, Leopard, Rottweiler turn out to be who I think they are... they are still making it too easy. They are literally telling you who it is. Including song titles/words and film/show titles and/or character names, or sports team names...literally... in the dialogue/voiceovers....

But...the thing is that some of the clues are actual helpful clues, and some seem to have been added as “red herrings” - to muddy the waters, and make it more confusing. Also... many of them do seem to mask their voices & not reveal their real voice right away, so that is also a distraction method... making it harder to guess.

So... this is all for show, because there is no way the “judges” don’t recognize some of the voices & think of certain people as possible options for specific characters. This year it’s specifically means that there’s no way they did not hear & consider certain singer being the leopard...as the voice just sounds like his...even if its an act (someone is mimicking him). So this alone tells me that the panel is putting on a show - they’re directed to not say the right name right away..if they know/guess it... to keep the suspense longer. And/Or the show is edited so that if someone guesses some character too fast...that part is cut out..and/or saved for later (they do add audio from the panel...at times...when they’re actually showing the artist, so it also seems to me as some editing has been going on... to mix different moments...)

#SPOILER #THE MASKED SINGER #TMS SPOILERS #TMS SEASON 2 #TMS #long post #list post #text post #SPOILERS #MASKED SINGER

4 notes · View notes

thenightling · 5 years

Text

Re: Castlevania drama

So apparently Confessavia decided to block me because they “looked through” my blog and saw “anti-SJW content” (SJW = Social Justice Warriors, for the handful who don’t know what that means) and the recent (and ironically 90% joking) feud with Cisphobia and I.

Edit: You know, if you’re going to block someone without just cause, you probably should check to make sure the incidents you reference weren’t from an event from twelve hours after the blocking. I and Cisphobia didn’t interact until after you blocked me and it ultimately ended in the meme equivalent of a playful dance off. But nice effort in seeking reason to justify mistreating someone who never wronged you.

The blocker also claimed that my response to their post was dramatic (that was the idea... It wasn’t an attack on them, it was just meant to be a little segway into a rant because of other crap I’ve dealt with here on Tumblr...) and they also said that there is... no one on Tumblr who calls Dracula Problematic.

(Ha-f---king ha!) REALLY!? YOU RUN A CASTLEVANIA BLOG AND NEVER SEEN THAT?!?

...HOW?!

There are Once upon a Time blogs that call Rumplestiltskin problematic, even now, even though the series finale literally had him ascend to Heaven!

There are people on here who call The Shape of Water problematic. And at least two people who called Daredevil problematic / Ableist (A blind character) for calling another character (who wanted to kill people) “Crazy.”

This is Tumblr! Don’t you know EVERYTHING is problematic on here?!

Ironic. Funny how someone who doesn’t even know me leapt to such incredible conclusions about me as a person and was so swift to judge and condemn me...

_______________________

My response to this:

Um…. okay….

Before you leap to conclusions about a person’s personality, you probably should have noticed Cisphobia and I were mostly just f–king around with each other and joking by the end of the “argument” and responding to each other with anime memes. And I never actually disagreed with their intent.

However if you had searched my blog and searched under “Fred Saberhagen” or “The Dracula Tape” “Dracula” or even “Castlevania” there are most certainly conversations from people who called Dracula, and depictions of Dracula problematic.

How the Hell do you search my blog and NOT find me defending depictions of Dracula against people who bashed the character?!

Here is a response I was forced to give after someone went on a long rant against The Dracula tape (a novel by the late Fred Saberhagen) and The Dracula series by the late Fred Saberhagen. This has happened at least three times but this was the first.

https://thenightling.tumblr.com/post/147441223978/addressing-issues-with-the-person-reading-the

(And that was immediately after the late Fred Saberhagen’s widow joined Tumblr so she had to read people bashing her husband’s book series because the narrator was “problematic.”)

There’s another post (which I can’t seem to find right now) where someone bitched about how it must contain the “Sexism of the seventies” in Saberhagen’s The Dracula Tape (because it was published in 1976. As if people forget when Interview with the vampire was first published...)

And at least one post talking about how “Creepy” it is he watches a teenage girl sleep in An Old Friend of the Family (also by Fred Saberhagen). Umm... He’s Dracula, it’s kind of supposed to be a little creepy. Even if he is narrating and trying to make it sound romantic, you’re supposed to read between the lines because he’s most the most honest of narrators.

Also check out this Casltevania post where this poor person who wanted a fan fic of Dracula and Lisa reunited in the afterlife was told by other “fans’ that he is damned and it’s never gonna happen- they can never be reunited, ever. They were bullied about it so I stepped in.

https://thenightling.tumblr.com/post/181241099958/he-will-never-alucardtepesfahrenheit-shame-on

There are other Castlevania fans who were asked to mark their Dracula posts with “Child abuse” . There are people who headcanon that Dracula was a very abusive dad in Castlevania because there are some Alucard fans as protective of their cinnamon roll as Marvel Loki fans. (Yes, I once got a request to tag an Odin post as “child abuse... just for mentioning Odin...).

Here’s my rant response I wrote in regard to some Youtube comments upset that Dracula in Marvel comics “is no longer straight.”

https://thenightling.tumblr.com/post/183667354468/draculas-bisexuality-in-pop-culture

There’s a Mina RPer on here who bashes anyone who happens to like the 1992 film Bram Stoker’s Dracula because she hates the idea of Dracula and Mina as a couple and tries to shame everyone who likes it, even if they know it’s not in the novel.

There was also someone who joined my Gothic horror group on Facebook (A man I’ll call a white knight) who was very protective of Winona Ryder’s Mina to the point of diminishing the character’s agency to “protect” her and insisted the Gary Oldman version of Dracula “took advantage” of Mina and in his protective / defense of Mina went on rants that made her sound like an idiot and damsel who didn’t know what she was doing or under a spell for most of the film and needed a “Good” man to tell her what to do and think, it was offensive in its sexism disguised as feminism.

Check out how many people comment on clips from the 1992 film or write essays about Dracula and how he’s going to Hell, completely ignoring the DVD commentary...

But sure, no one calls him problematic... ever... that never happens. Nope. (Sarcasm intended.)

And back in 2011 I started to do online RP depictions of Dracula on IMVU and I, myself, dealt with people coming into the RP room with characters who can “sense who is damned and who is saved.” Not only did I deal with people certain he would burn in eternal Hellfire but when I’d tell them that sort of power to sense eternal damnation or salvation was too extreme I’d get responses of “lol, he’s Dracula! It’s not like Dracula can be saved.” Arguing with me when I mention that the idea of his soul being saved / him ascending to Heaven was actually an aspect of Stoker’s original novel as Mina talked about saving his soul which brought the other heroes to tears. And so they were relieved by the look of peace on his face when they killed him (in the novel).

But okay…

Again, all this happened because I made the mistake of agreeing with the post on Confessionvania’s blog and going on a rant in my agreeing with them... Somehow they (and another person) drastically misunderstood I was being supportive in their stance. There was ...nothing to disagree with...

You (person who blocked me) made a lot of false and wrongful judgements about me but I don’t have the will right now to defend myself. So have a good day.

PS, let it be known I am pro-Trans rights and am a member of the LGBT community (Pan romantic demi). I’m a woman. I believe in true equality of the sexes as intended by Mary Wollstonecraft. I’m somewhere between buddhist and Wiccan in my spiritual beliefs. I am what is considered legally blind (poor eyesight) and have no clue what my paternal racial background is. But I really shouldn’t require a checklist to be considered a human being here on Tumblr. And yet here we are... again...

Funny how someone can read through my blog, decide I’m a bad person, and the reason for my rant was imaginary and miss all of that, as well as several posts that were in defense of Dracula...

Ah, well. I don’t like defending myself against strangers but I also loathe misinformation. So here’s the truth as I perceive it, for better or worse. Take it or leave it.

Edit: Note. I just checked the time stamps. The Castlevania Confessions blog blocked me BEFORE Cisphobia and I played our little trollish game. So nice try in attempting to use that as the excuse for blocking someone who never wronged you... I guess you searched my blog for justifications after the fact and didn’t check to see when things were posted when attempting to use them as righteous reasons to mistreat others.

That’s all right. I have no interest in liars. And now the world knows you to be one. That’s justice enough.

#Castlevania #Dracula #Count Dracula #Drama

5 notes · View notes

kiruuuuu · 6 years

Text

Blitz/Rook oneshot in which Blitz is, uh, kinda dressed like this. For Halloween. Not that this excuses anything. (Rating M, humour/some sexy times, ~2.6k words) - written for @magehir 💕 and also in response to the leaked Blitz elite skin!

“I would just like to reiterate that it was your idea to use Monika’s prototype to heat up our sandwiches and that -” Blitz is interrupted by yet another smack to his ass from a stranger passing by. His cheeks are hurting at this point and he missed the point where he should’ve just sat down because now it’d be pure agony whereas staying upright invariably ends with more pain. He banked on their British colleagues being both more polite and prudish to actually make use of the slightly smudged writing on his lower back but it seems his hope was completely and utterly in vain. “In short, all of this is your fucking fault and if I get the chance to take revenge -”

“Loosen up and live a little, you dry sponge”, Bandit shoots back, entirely unimpressed with his fury, and deliberately makes eye contact with a bloke trying to squeeze past while simultaneously getting an eyeful of the two of them. “You can touch, but it costs extra, my dude.”

“I can offer a screwdriver right from the bar”, the guy replies and causes Bandit’s face to lighten up and Blitz’ to darken at the same time.

“Don’t give him more to drink”, Blitz pleads but is interrupted by his teammate: “Honey, for a screwdriver I’ll shove my tongue so far down your throat I’ll tickle your vocal cords.”

Normally, Halloween is Blitz’ favourite holiday. He enjoys the thrill of watching scary films, even likes picking out realistic and horrifying costumes and has developed a few rituals over the years. However, this year, all of the previously sacred components which as a whole make up a successful Halloween for him had to be scrapped all because of one of Bandit’s clever ideas. They ended up trashing IQ’s current project, unsurprisingly, and incurred the wrath of a woman who takes a lot of pride in her work and who’s usually able to control her temper. Usually.

Not this time.

The result is a curse on all who are forced to witness it, a plague on earth, an abomination which never should’ve seen the light of day, an unholy trifecta and a trinity of sacrilege. In order to make it up to IQ, they agreed on what at the time sounded like a very simple premise: she was to decide their Halloween costume for the party Rainbow would attend together with the SAS operators stationed at Hereford. Blitz should’ve known it wouldn’t be that easy as soon as IQ agreed a little too readily, but back then he was too relieved to get out of the situation with all limbs intact to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Mistake. Because now he’s not only clad in the skimpiest outfit he’s ever worn in his entire life, no, it’s also an amalgamation of tulle and lace and frills and whatever any of this is called; it’s pink and exposes both his abs and half of his back, barely reaches over his ass and is topped off with intricately laced up knee-high boots sporting dangerously high heels. The objectively worst parts about all of this are twofold though: one concerns the large letters on his back written in permanent marker and spelling out Spank here with arrows pointing downwards, the other one…

Well. Never in his life has he ever felt the urge to watch Bandit make out sloppily with a nondescript Brit while wearing the sluttiest maid outfit Blitz has encountered so far but it seems that’s just what his entire career has lead to. To this moment. To yet another hand reaching out and copping a feel of his backside and him not being able to turn around fast enough to punch whoever did it in the face because he’d probably eat shit instead. Bandit rocks his pumps like a pro while Blitz attempts to move as little as possible. His feet are already killing him.

“I’m gonna throw up any second now”, he informs Bandit as soon as he’s done snogging a stranger and has started drinking the screwdriver. “Why don’t you just pick someone and disappear with them for a bit so I don’t have to watch you reapply your fucking lipstick every other minute?”

“What are you talking about?” Bandit sets his drink down on the counter next to them to whip out his small mirror to check on the state of the garishly red paint on his mouth. “I already fucked three of them. And one dude only let me blow him to get to you, just so you know.”

Okay. Alright. That is it. He’s reached maximum capacity for this evening concerning a lot of things, one of them being all the information Bandit so willingly shares when he’s past drunk – he’s already grating when sober but like this he’s positively insufferable. He’s enjoying the persona his costume enables way too much for Blitz’ taste, has posed for photos, flirts aggressively with literally everyone who doesn’t run away immediately and looked creepily enthusiastic when Jäger wrote the cursed invitation all of them bear on his back. Jäger himself, displaying a similarly short nurse outfit, has been hanging out with other Rainbow ops and is therefore mostly safe from the kind of attention lavished on Blitz – it’s not like he has anyone to hide with, however: Sledge is catching up with old friends and probably wouldn’t appreciate any interference from the porn version of Disney’s Sleeping Beauty, IQ would gloat to an uncomfortable extent and he has the vague feeling Mute would mock him relentlessly.

“I’m leaving”, he announces despite not knowing where he’s going, only knowing he needs to go somewhere else. Somewhere where Bandit isn’t.

“You’re so ungrateful, do you even know that?” This makes him stop in his tracks and frown at his amused friend. “Here I am, valiantly protecting your virtue by redirecting all those perverts’ attention to me, and how am I repaid? With disdain! Oh the humanity.”

Oddly enough, Bandit’s vocabulary increases proportionally to his ego whenever he drinks. “You tried to trade me for a shot of whisky earlier”, he replies drily before turning away for good. He swears he hears Bandit sadly mutter and it almost worked as he walks away.

The size of the party is a problem, however, and Blitz soon finds himself surrounded by people he doesn’t know, some of whom gladly endorse the message on his back whereas others manage to rope him into a conversation under the guise of wanting to be friendly. The illusion is shattered quickly when one of them asks whether he’d be up for a foursome, prompting him to keep drifting through the crowd in mild horror. Bandit has told him before that he looks almost laughably attractive (a fact Bandit still hasn’t forgiven him somehow) but he never really believed it until now. Until he’s suddenly aware of all the looks he’s getting.

“Elias!” He turns around at the mention of his name and comes face to face with a vaguely stunned Rook, probably also drunk and filled to the brim with bad ideas. “I’ve, uh, been searching for you all over. There’s something wrong with Glaz, I need your help.”

Instantly, he sobers up as if he just slept for several hours. “Lead the way.” He barely takes note of Rook’s costume which is comprised of little more than an admittedly adorable dragon onesie and doesn’t even object when the Frenchman grabs his hand tightly and drags him away. He must seem serious enough for no one to drop a remark about his outfit on the way for which he’s eternally grateful, but when Rook suddenly pulls him aside into one of the smaller men’s bathrooms, suspicion befalls him. Especially since the room is otherwise empty. And even more when Rook locks the door behind them with a deep breath.

“Glaz is fine”, he bursts out before Blitz can even say anything, “so don’t worry. But you seemed like someone who needed saving.”

Oh. He supposes Rook isn’t incorrect in that observation though it’s a little embarrassing it was this apparently this obvious. “Yeah. I kinda did.” Here, away from prying eyes and wandering hands, away from the stuffy air and the slightly suffocating presence of the crowd, he can finally breathe freely and feel a little less self-conscious about his clothes. Or the lack thereof, really. “Thank you.”

The heartfelt words are met with a timid smile accompanied by a manic stare Blitz noticed before but accredited to Rook being concerned about Glaz. This… seems to not be the case, though for some reason the young man is attempting to stare a hole into his head. “No problem. I just – I have so much respect for you and everything you do and so seeing you getting groped like that is really upsetting. You’re so much more than just a pretty face, even if it’s an extremely pretty face, but, uh, them reducing you to no more than a body to ogle at is -”, he bites his lip for a second, steadfastly refusing to break the now almost uncomfortable eye contact, “well, I’m not trying to say that it’d be a bad thing in itself if you wanted to be ogled at, but you didn’t seem like you wanted -” He trails off and Blitz realises he hasn’t blinked once since they entered the men’s. Tears are starting to form in Rook’s eyes and if he’s honest, there is some hilarity in this.

“You know, I won’t think less of you if you look, Julien”, he states gently and witnesses all the tension in Rook’s shoulder disappear at once.

“Thank fucking Christ”, he breathes and adds an even quieter holy shit as his gaze swoops to take Blitz’ costume in. Unlike some other expressions Blitz has taken note of throughout the evening, Rook’s speaks of helpless, desperate admiration and is actually quite flattering. Not only because he obviously likes Blitz as a person anyway, but also because he makes no move to touch or even comment.

In fact, his hopeless amazement is so pure that Blitz can’t help but tease him a little. “Dom really went overboard with this. He claimed Monika required us to shave everywhere but I somehow doubt it.”

Watching Rook choke on nothing is oddly satisfying. This time when his eyes travel all over Blitz’ body, it’s almost as if he can feel it like a concentrated ray of sun, kissing all his exposed (and indeed shaved) skin with a tingling warmth which lingers much longer than it should. Somehow, he doesn’t mind it coming from Rook, even welcomes the attention – Rook’s costume definitely plays into it as he looks utterly endearing, but also the strange intimacy of it, the fact they’re alone and Rook isn’t doing it to play along or crack a joke to someone amplifies the pleasant feel. It’s real, that much he knows.

“To be honest, I have no idea what’s supposed to be so sexy about men in skirts”, he continues and is about to add that seeing Bandit in one might have put him off the idea for at least a few decades, yet Rook won’t even let him finish his sentence before he chimes in, cheeks bright red.

“I can tell you: you’re fucking gorgeous already and this – this only makes it better. You might not get it, but fucking hell, I want to unlace your stupid ugly boots with my teeth.”

Oh.

Blitz’ brows rise simultaneously to Rook’s eyes widening in shock and there are a few seconds during which neither of them move a muscle. It’s definitely one of the tamest propositions Blitz has received all evening and yet it’s decidedly more forthright than all (okay, no, probably just most) of them combined because it’s meant so painfully seriously his mind immediately supplies him with the appropriate mental image. He suspected Rook to be interested in him before and this is the unambiguous proof yet where he’d normally not even consider the Frenchman (alright, another lie, he likes Rook and he likes him a lot), right now he’s… thinking about it.

And thinking right now means picturing him on his knees in front of Blitz and surely, it has to have something to do with the blasted outfit which apparently turns men into horny sluts because he literally can’t think of anything more enticing at that moment. No matter the fucking heels or the odd, cool feeling on his legs and in his crotch or his sore ass, all he can think of is giving in to Rook – who just then starts scrambling to explain himself.

“I’m so sorry, I have no idea where that came from, that’s not what I meant to say at all, I, uh, you look fantastic but you always do, but if you don’t feel comfortable wearing this you of course should take it off – I mean, not right now obviously, but you could go home to change and I’d even come along to help – fuck – I don’t mean like that, I mean I could make sure no one molests you on the way kinda like I’m doing oh God -”

And his pitiful speech dies with a high-pitched noise just as Blitz grabs one of the horns on Rook’s hood to pull him in and smash their lips together.

It says a lot that Rook doesn’t even seem to consider stopping when the door bursts open. Despite it having been locked, the mechanism was too flimsy to really hold against any type of weight – and some large dude reminding Blitz of Montagne slamming Bandit against it quite clearly counts as weight. “Oh fuck, it’s occupied”, Bandit mumbles against an insistent tongue and everything about the whole situation would turn Blitz off immediately if only Rook wasn’t so bloody good at this. His eyes only slide over to the sudden intrusion once, then they go back to gazing up at Blitz lovingly, longingly and with such devotion he still can’t breathe. The young man looks at him like he might literally faint should he actually be allowed to taste Blitz’ come, and not only that, his cheeks hollow out with every bob of his head, one hand is kneading Blitz’ thigh and the other playing with his (now remarkably hairless) balls and dear Lord how can anyone be this earth-shatteringly good at blow jobs?

So yes, even though Bandit and his fourth Montagne substitute saw him in a princess outfit getting sucked with abandon by an adorable purple dragon, he can’t find the energy to care, not when Rook keeps moaning around his shaft like this. It’s by far the hottest thing he’s ever experienced and not even Bandit can rain on this parade.

Even if he seems intent to do just that. “Hey, congrats, baguette, you finally did it”, he calls while herding his newest victim out of the room again, “and don’t forget – you owe me for this!”

And Blitz suddenly remembers how IQ said she’d decide on their punishment later, remembers how he saw Bandit and her together shortly before she announced her final judgement, and how much Rook seemed to look forward to Halloween despite usually not caring about it – but before he can finish the thought, Rook swallows him whole for the first time and rips a groan from his throat which makes the Frenchman’s eyelashes flutter.

He can think about this later, he decides and pushes a hand under soft fabric to bury it in Rook’s hair.

#rainbow six siege #blitz #rook #blitz/rook #fanfic #oneshot #bandit is the maybe not so secret hero in this #also this is pretty much how I picture their friendship #I wrote this in two hours so yay me

101 notes · View notes

angeltriestoblog · 5 years

Text

Second sem (and freshman year) recap

It’s pretty hard to believe, but another chapter of my college journey is finally over and done with. Since I had ended the first half of the school year in such high spirits, I didn’t really believe upperclassmen when they warned that things were only going to get harder from there. In fact, I even thought I’d be the one to prove them wrong! I mean, with a class schedule that looked like this, how would I run out of time for all the things I both needed and wanted to do? My Tuesdays and Thursdays were practically free, save for that one Math class I had to attend in the morning that I surprisingly never cut.

For the most part of the semester, I was in a chill state compared to everyone else. I claimed that I had successfully adjusted to the demands of higher education to the point where I found what once was an unreasonable workload to be manageable. I was able to make time for my home org’s activities and devote enough attention to the only project I was deployed to, which I touched on a bit in my first recap blog post (linked here in case you want to jog your memory). As previously mentioned, I was assigned as one of the Documentations Heads under the Information Management department of the Career Building Program, a three-phase event that gives its participants a glimpse into the corporate world. We kicked things off with a resume writing workshop that I was lucky enough to join. The facilitator assigned to me gave useful insights that I was able to apply in the creation of my own curriculum vitae, which I am keen on using when it’s my turn to apply for internships and jobs in the future. I obviously don’t have much on it yet, seeing as I’m just a freshman, but the idea of filling it up with more experiences over the years is exciting me in ways I cannot explain.

Our group was even given the opportunity to explore the studio of the country’s biggest network, where we were briefed by executives in communications and IT and toured around the sets of our favorite shows. We even ran into Luis Manzano while he was filming Minute to Win It! Unfortunately, I wasn’t scouted by any representative from Star Magic and spontaneously put in a love team with Donny Pangilinan, but I guess that’s alright.

I also went to Talent Night with some friends (not in pictures: Gela's boyfriend and ICA barkada), which is shocking since I’m honestly not the type to attend parties like this. I’ve always been the girl who stayed home and binge watched YouTube videos on a Friday night. But, I guess the drunk confidence of those I was with rubbed off on me and I managed to pull through! It was also a plus that Timmy Albert was one of the performers: I do pass him by along the corridors quite frequently, but it’s just different seeing him sing and play an instrument in front of a crowd, especially since I’ve loved Roses and Sunflowers even before I got into Ateneo.

One surprise that I definitely did not see coming was participating in Daloy, our annual program that revolves around corporate social responsibility. This year, we decided to shed a light on how this could be seen in the Philippine clothing industry, so it seemed fitting to hold some talks featuring prominent figures in this field, as well as a fashion show to exhibit the collections of local brands that advocated sustainability. I was really interested in the concept when I first heard of it, and initially wanted to go as a mere audience member - little did I know that I would be tapped by the committee to model! To this day, I don’t know how or why I was chosen: from what I know, there were even screenings held a week prior to the event to determine who would get to walk the runway. But, I was messaged three days before and in that short span of time, I had to fit clothes, find pieces in my closet to match them and perfect my walk (which took several tries on my part, given the fact that when shy, I’m stiff as a board).

Agreeing to join was a huge step out of my comfort zone - the closest I’ve ever come to strutting on a catwalk was back when family members would ask me to “walk like a fashion model” as a kid during reunions. So, the fact that it had all paid off in the end, and that I was even complimented for the way I looked and performed beyond what was probably expected, was definitely a huge confidence boost for me. I couldn’t have done it without Nelly, Daloy’s project head who patiently guided me through the entire process before the show.

Shoutout as well to the other ACTM upperclassmen who were so friendly to me this school year. We may not have any pictures together, but you deserve a spot on this post nevertheless: Gella, my "boss" (hehe) who was always so patient when I asked questions and even went out of her way to say such kind words about my writing; Sam Que who made me feel like we had already known each other for so long even if we had just talked for the first time, and Ysagab who constantly reassured me that I was doing a good job even if I was looking like such a rookie.

My presence in events wasn’t limited to those of ACTM, though. I also went to the Loyola Film Circle’s Under the Stars, where I was able to see the live performances of OPM acts and watch one of my favorite chick flicks beneath the beautiful night sky. Since it took place the day after Valentine’s, I was surrounded by Ateneans and their significant others (who didn’t hold back at all when it came to publicly displaying their affection), but I didn’t even mind since I was content in the company of both my college constants and high school friends.

I dropped by Sulyap as well, which was the culminating activity of the Ateneo Heights Writers Workshop and the launch of the chapbook of their fellows. It was one of the busiest Fridays of the school year, but I still made it a point to go, because I wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to be a part of something organized by my dream org, Ateneo’s premier literary publication. As much as I love my course and the people in it, I have to admit that I haven’t been able to exercise much of my creative side. So being in a room full of like-minded individuals and hearing them speak lengthily about their works and the process that brought them to life was a refreshing experience, a much-needed break from the usual routine. My personal favorite was Unica Hijas by Mikaela Regis, which revolved around a lesbian couple trying to make their relationship work despite the fact that they study in a conservative, all-girls high school - a setting which is all too familliar to me.

It’s also worth noting that I was sorta able to tick a particular item off my freshman year bucket list. And I say sorta, because… well, you’ll see. It’s been a dream of mine ever since to watch a UAAP basketball game live, show up to the arena in a bright blue shirt, cheer as loud as I can when a player makes a point and raise my fist in the air while Song for Mary plays in the background. But, even if I’m consistently in school by 6am, I was never able to get tickets - I couldn’t match the efforts of some fans, who would camp overnight just to get their hands on them. But, just when I thought there was no more chance for me to show my school pride at a match, my friend Mika offered me a free ticket to the Ateneo Lady Eagles’ volleyball match against FEU at the Filoil Arena one Wednesday. We weren’t really on speaking terms before because we were from different cliques, but after bonding over K-Pop, I saw how nice and chill of a person she actually is. So, I didn’t want to turn her down even if I was hesitant to go at first. You see, I was never a fan - in fact, I didn’t know how the game went despite the PE lessons I had back in Grade 5. (Ms. Abella, if you see this, I’m sorry.) But, it didn’t take a lot of convincing for me to agree and I ended up enjoying way more than I thought I would. Fortunately, I was able to catch on when it came to the rules of the sport: the energy of the crowd was contagious as well, and the performance of the players was way too good it was impossible not to shout either out of triumph or frustration. Once we made it to the finals against UST, I even found myself waiting for announcements on where to buy tickets. I didn’t get any though, because they were either sold out due to the ever-increasing demand (ALE fans don’t play around) or there was a conflict in schedule (hi, Enlit play).

Despite this, I streamed the last game and screamed like I was actually in the venue myself. Apologies to all our neighbors, who probably thought someone was getting killed in the house beside theirs. I was so proud when they brought home the championship after three years, I even bought a Team Ateneo shirt (it’s not that hard to guess whose name is on the back) and went to the bonfire with my friends Gwen, Julia and Lou. I had hoped to meet and take a picture with the players, but they were already far too wasted when I arrived. Like, seriously. I saw Maddie Madayag chug a whole bottle of Mule right before my eyes.

So, you could say that it was all fun and games (quite literally) for me until hell weeks eventually rolled in. Plural form intended. I found out that all my professors were just holding back every major requirement until the very last stretch of the semester. Suddenly, my schedule was chock full of presentations and final papers, comprehensive exams and extra classes that put my time management and endurance to the test. I spent many days in Matteo Down just like before, but also started going to the floor above it in case I wanted to suffer in the company of more people. The studying would only continue once I got home: I’d pull all-nighters despite my brain’s and skin’s desperate cries for help, as manifested in my worsening acne. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that stressed in my life, and it’s scary to think that that’s only the tip of the iceberg in the Ateneo.

Coping mechanisms I’ve picked up to help me deal with these unavoidable circumstances would be trying every restaurant along the Katipunan area whenever I had free time (which I will elaborate on more extensively in another blog post, so do watch out for that!) and eventually discovering Pancake House’s corned beef hash, which I love so much I once had it thrice in the span of a week. Another one would be the addition of yet another emotional support K-Pop boy to my collection. After watching My ID is Gangnam Beauty over Holy Week break, I fell in love with Cha Eunwoo and his god-tier visuals, mild demeanor, impressive English skills and heartfelt determination. This led me to binge watching reality show episodes and furiously putting the entire discography of Astro on loop. If you look at my Last.fm, you could see how Crazy Sexy Cool easily climbed to the top of my most played songs, sitting prettily at the #1 spot with over 300 plays in just a little over two months.

Although I constantly had to bear the pressure and stress on my shoulders over the past academic year, I am eternally grateful to Ateneo for equipping me with lessons both within and beyond the realm of academics that have helped me grow into someone I never imagined, but am happy to have turned into anyway. When my naive and starry-eyed self first entered college, I had such high hopes for what my experience would be and proceeded to map out the next four years of my life in accordance with the vision I had in my head. Having just broken free from the metaphorical chains of my previous school, I found it to be the perfect time to transform into a student who excelled academically, had a long and winding list of extracurricular activities and easily built a vast network of connections thanks to her pleasing and magnetic personality. If I got lucky, maybe I’d have one of those so-called “college blooms” and even get myself an actual boyfriend!

This isn’t something unique to me, I bet a lot of people entered this new stage of their lives with the same mindset so I wasn’t the only one in shock upon realizing that it doesn’t always play out that way in real life. Because of these ridiculous expectations we have implanted in our heads, that basically state that we have to be successful in everything we do and fast, we subconsciously keep ourselves from enjoying the process. In our desire to aim high and aspire for perfection in all that we do, we could end up failing to acknowledge the small yet equally important wins we gain along the way: the friend we make outside of our block despite the sheer discomfort we experience in meeting new people, or the answer we gave in class that impressed our most intimidating professor could appear minuscule when placed beside our goal of being straight-A student who’s active in seven orgs. In addition, we deprive ourselves of the allowance to make mistakes, stray from taking the detours and breaks we need to remain functional human beings and often drive ourselves to the point of fatigue and burnout. And when we are still not flourishing and thriving as planned, we fall prey to toxic comparison: we pit ourselves against others who don’t have the same background or circumstances as we do and question why our progress doesn’t match with theirs.

This is obviously such a toxic way to go about things. Talk about sucking the fun out of what’s supposed to be the four most enjoyable years of our lives. Thankfully, over time, I did some growing up, if you will, and channeled the power of acceptance - both of what I am and what I am not, and the will of God (or whichever supreme being you've placed your faith in) who meticulously planned out what’s ahead of me before I was even old enough to know what school was. I now work to the best of my ability, confident that all I have to do is put in my share of the hard work and see where it takes me, and am also more gentle with myself when I make mistakes.

On a somewhat lighter note, I’ve also been able to form my own opinions about very controversial issues on campus: an example of which would be what I think is the best CR - the answer is definitely Arete. You can’t go wrong with its triple killer combo of aircon, bidet and strong WiFi connection. The only possible downside could be the fact that there are usually a lot of people, so it’s not the best option if you’re planning on being loud and… um, smelly. The secluded and fragrant Leong Hall and ever-reliable New Lib restrooms come in second and third place respectively, while honorable mentions include the 2F Kostka CR (but only from 6:00-7:00am, when no one else is around) and this one specific stall in the Socsci building that's spacious enough that I can bring all my belongings inside with me.

Another point for discussion would be the superior place to eat on school grounds: this might cause an uproar, I’m aware, but I still believe it’s JSEC, despite the stark price difference compared to other cafeterias on campus. I was set on trying something from every stall before the school year ended, but I was too fixated on my top picks: I don’t have any regrets though. In fact, I wish I had more of the beef salpicao with calamares on the side from Casa Paella, the Superbowl from Blendabowls and The Coop fries with garlic aioli served on the side. Besides the fact that the food served is satisfying beyond measure, I enjoy the chit-chats I have with the ates and kuyas manning the stalls, who never fail to ask me how I am and tell me about the cute chinito boys they see on campus that they think I might like.

Although I can’t completely rule out Gonzaga, because of this particular stall with quality liempo and a kuya who always gives me a five peso discount. (I’ve been told he does this with girls he finds cute, but I have yet to confirm that). Also, it’s the only place on campus that I know of that sells fresh fruits by the kilo - perfect for those days when I try to convince myself to go on a diet before I relapse and binge eat at Pancake House.

A lot of people do say that ISO sisig is worth the cross-campus walk it’ll take to get there (e-jeep rides are more recommended! An experience in itself! Especially if you’re seated in the back, where there’s a constant feeling of being sucked in a vacuum! But, I digress) - it might just be a matter of preference, but I think it’s overrated. A destination that deserves more attention is the Cervini Hall cafeteria just by the university dormitories. I’ve only been there a grand total of two times so I don’t exactly have any specific favorites on the menu that I recommend, but I’d definitely still go for the homey ambience.

As for superior study places, Matteo Down has been tried and tested several times: I do prefer getting a place opposite to the entrance though, because it does get distracting having to see people enter and go out the door so often. What was supposed to be a study session often ends up becoming a game to see how many people are wearing a striped shirt today. I usually spend time on the fourth floor of the Rizal Library, and get the couch as often as I can because of the comfort (and charger) it provides.

Of course, I wouldn’t have been able to power through this year without the help of my closest friends: Sevi, Gwen, Raya and Christine. I always had this nagging fear in the back of my head that I wouldn’t be able to find a tight-knit group once I got to college, but thank you for proving me wrong. Thank you for letting me be my true self, for entertaining even my most random thoughts and for accepting all the kalat that comes with being my friend. I sincerely hope that we stay together and have more Gino’s dates in the future along with Chloe!

To Gela, Jill, Shar (and Dom, but we don’t have any pictures together except for the last one HAHAHA) - I didn’t expect at all that I’d be writing about you guys. I was so intimidated by all of you at first, because I felt like we were so different in terms of our upbringing and environment. But after getting to know you, I came to realize that you are seriously some of the most down-to-earth, chill people ever. Thank you for always providing quality chismis, volunteering to find me chinito boys to date and giving me apps to make my IG stories look cuter.

To the rest of X1, we weren’t exactly the most united and we knew that - it’s just that we were probably the most diverse out of all the groups in our batch, and with that comes clashing personalities and differing opinions and interests. But, nevertheless, I am content with the time we managed to spend together, where I was able to get to know all of you!

To the friends that I made outside of my block (and even my course), thank you for laughing at my jokes and telling me that I'm fun to talk to. Hopefully, we get to hang out more and maybe even have common classes in the future hehe

To my Enlit section, we barely spoke to one another during the first semester so I fell under the impression that you were all stoic and no fun to be with. But, I was proven wrong eventually. I wish I was able to talk to more people in LL, but to the classmates I was closest to (Dootie, Cyrah, Czarina, She and Jessa), I will never forget our side comments and mini-rant sessions. I heard we’re having another English subject come sophomore year, and I really hope I end up with you guys again.

All in all, there is no other word that could sum up the experience that was my freshman year in college better than “adventure”. It was every single emotion on the spectrum All At Once, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world - in fact, during the first half of the semester, I admit that I’d entertain thoughts of alternate universes where I’d be an Iska/Lasallista/Tomasino out of sheer curiosity, but now I just can’t imagine myself anywhere else. Anyway, enough with all that drama. I’m going back to school in three weeks to start my summer term, which we fondly (lmao) refer to as intersession. So, there’s technically nothing to miss.

Hope the rest of you enjoy the summer break that I unfortunately will not be able to experience until I graduate from college! Wishing you nothing but love and light, always.

Angel

#life update #angeltriestoblog #life dump #angel crawled her way thru freshman year!!!!#COULD U BELIEVE #angel is now a sophomore #that's disgusting

0 notes

niteshade925 · 5 years

Text

EMH and House of Leaves Pt.1: References/Details/Parallels

WARNING: If you haven’t at least seen the Night Mind summaries of EMH or read HoL, and don’t want spoilers, then please stop reading now. I won’t be spending a lot of time explaining HoL either (too long), so it would be best if you already read HoL.

************MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD**************

(I’m probably just reading too deep into it. If I sound like I’m talking nonsense, that’s probably true.)

Not a lot of people have touched on the many, many references to House of Leaves (HoL) within the series, so I’m going to just point out all the connections I can catch.

And just to clarify, while I do think there are connections and parallels, I think the parallels only apply to a degree: just to some characters, some aspects. When you look at them both as a whole and try to compare them, then it doesn’t really make sense.

Meaning of House:

It’s pretty well established now that the “Leaves” in the title of HoL can refer to paper, making the “House” the book itself. In “Bridge to Nowhere” (Tribetwelve), HABIT’s sarcastic “let’s run from him (HABIT) in his own house” can very well be interpreted the same way, but with this “house” being the EMH show. However, I do not think the “house” here is truly his, and I will come back to this later.

The Growing and Shifting of the House/ Impossible Geometry:

In HoL, the House on Ash Tree Lane contains an impossible dark maze that changes its layout constantly (presumably based on the changing mindset of the person trapped within). In EMH we experience this first hand in the video “The property”, where Vinny goes to different houses just by walking through them, as if the house was changing its own layout and appearances.

The METAness of “Authorship”:

Self-explanatory. Either way you look at the theories in HoL, they all theorize that Zampano, Johnny Truant, or Pelafina is the author of the entire book, when in fact it is Mark Z. Danielewski who is the actual author in the real world. EMH is the same, except as of the latest video, the possibility that HABIT is the editor and director in-universe is being called into question.

Iterations and Mazes:

Everyone knows how the iterations work in EMH so I’ll skip to HoL. In HoL, there’s no iterations, but there are mazes. And what’s more, the maze IS the house. Remember that the book is the house? “a=b=c, therefore a=c”. The book is also the maze. The entire fiction is the maze where the characters wander about, progressing their story. EMH is the same. The iterations repeat, always ending in Hamlet-esque tragedy (“everyone dies, the end”), like a tragic play production performing over and over again, with small bits tweaked here and there each time, except the characters are trapped inside. The EMH series, the EMH “house”, is a maze. It’s also a maze with ash-colored walls. Which brings us to………..

Ashes, Ashes everywhere:

Oh boy is it everywhere. In EMH there's Ashen wasteland (presumed to be Centralia after the mine fire disaster), Ashland (an actual town just south of Centralia), and “half acre of ash” (first brought up by Stephanie and now the title of a video).

In HoL there's Ashtree lane (where the house is), there's the ash-colored hallways of the ever-changing maze within the house, and there's the Yggdrasil mentioned at the very end, which is an ash tree. Personally, I believe the “ashes” in EMH is more of a clue that we should look to HoL for direction, but nothing more, since it does not have the connections to ash trees like HoL does.

Found Footage/ Cinema Vérité:

Page 4 of The Navidson Record (TNR) in HoL:

“The Navidson Record did not first appear as it does today. Nearly seven years ago what surfaced was ‘The Five and a Half Minute Hallway’--a five and a half minute optical illusion barely exceeding the abilities of any NYU film school graduate. The problem, of course, was the accompanying statement that claimed all of it was true.”

That is basically a description of the found footage horror genre. Read the beginning of House of Leaves and you will find that its description of TNR is stunningly similar to EMH. To quote bits from the first chapter:

“Where one might expect horror, the supernatural, or traditional paroxysms of dread and fear, one discovers disturbing sadness, a sequence of radioactive isotopes, or even laughter over a Simpsons episode” (HoL page 3)

“The structure of ‘Exploration #4’ is highly discontinuous, jarring, and as evidenced by many poor edits, even hurried. The first shot catches Navidson mid-phrase.” (HoL page 5)

“There are several more shots. Trees in winter. Blood on the kitchen floor. One shot of a child (Daisy) crying.” (HoL page 5)

So, jarring structure. Sometimes continuous shots. Sometimes all jump cuts. Very documentary-like to give a realistic quality. Home video-esque feel. Disregarding the different plot/story, stylistically EMH is practically TNR brought to life. And when you add in the ARG element of EMH, it becomes more interesting: perhaps EMH is just like TNR of the book. And I will be expanding on this idea in my theory.

Fictional Sources

This is more of a META aspect thing. The Navidson Record in the HoL world was said to be nonexistent, 100% fiction. The characters, the interviews of the characters in TNR…...also pure fiction in the HoL world. Now think about the Corenthal papers, the articles…...they are a part of the ARG, and therefore also 100% fiction.

Unreliable Narrators

Also self-explanatory. In EMH, neither HABIT nor Vinny are completely honest with the audience in their videos. And in HoL there are three: Johnny (lies, mental illness), Zampano (if he’s the author), and Pelafina (mental illness, and if she’s the author).

L’esprit de L’escalier

It’s a French phrase for “spirit of the staircase”, meaning thinking of the perfect response but it’s already too late. In the EMH episode titled with this phrase, Evan met Vinny as himself (temporarily released by HABIT) for the first time after the killing spree happened. In HoL, the phrase comes in page 72 of TNR, in Johnny’s footnotes:

“Now though, I realize what I should of said--in the spirit of the dark; in the spirit of the staircase--

‘Known some call is air am’

Which is to say --

‘I am not what I used to be’”

This quote comes right after Johnny’s account of his first major panic attack from fear, where he accidentally made a mess at the tattoo shop he worked at because of his panic episode. Curiously, something (presumably the monster whose presence he felt) also put a long bloody scratch on the back of his neck. When asked, he said nothing, but the above quote was what he think he should have said, in retrospect. This matches up exactly with the meaning of the phrase.

The phrase also appeared in page 618 in original French, but I can't see any connection there in terms of plot or meaning.

And although the phrase didn’t make a lot of sense to me as the title of the EMH episode, it does now. The connection here is the line “I am not what I used to be”. That was the whole gist of what Evan wanted to tell Vinny. At the time of the episode, Evan has now become the “danger” due to being HABIT’s favorite human puppet, has already committed atrocities under HABIT’s control, and received the healing factor that made him unable to die. Evan is not what he used to be.

Guns, Rifles, and Insanity

I don't think I've seen HABIT actually use a gun except that clip where he pointed one at the back of Vinny's neck. HABIT’s thing has always been about blades: knives, saws, chainsaws, etc. But now a gun is becoming relevant. Two characters in HoL also resorted to guns as their sanity deteriorated: Holloway and Johnny. The former accidentally shot and killed one of his two companions before he killed himself with it, and the latter’s fate is unknown. There are two theories: Johnny died, though not by the gun; and Johnny lived because he’s finally freed from the burden of putting the book together.

The North Star.

North Star has become prominent in the latest videos of EMH. And it is also present in the book. The cover of the book has a red and yellow symbol (probably a compass rose) that looks like a North Star. Page 29 mentions the North Star by name, calling the lamp in the children's room the North Star. Vinny found the North Star drawing within Fairmount, where the Mining Town Four spent their iteration as kids.

Page 545 of the book has a more alarming message, however:

“Stars to live by. Stars to steer by. Stars to die by.”

And by “all good things”, this has been confirmed. HABIT and Vinny both died in this iteration by the knife and gun with the North Star branded on them.

So is it a coincidence that the EverymanHYBRID symbol looks like a North Star? I don’t think so. The EMH story was meant to end in tragedy all along.

The Radiation Detector

Yes, in TNR, Navidson also had a radiation detector that ticked . And the following quote:

“Navidson turns to the time telling tick of radioactive isotopes to deny the darkness eviscerating him from within” (HoL page 381)

Evan doesn’t really try to “deny” the darkness (HABIT) within him in “Sigma”, but of course, there’s still purple duct tape on his bandage.

The Quote Jeff Circled

“Why did god create a dual universe?

So he might say,

‘Be not like me, I am alone.’

And it might be heard” (HoL page 45)

This quote, by itself, is confusing as hell. One has to put it in context of the chapter to make any sense of it, just for the book alone. The chapter it appears in, nicknamed the “Echoes chapter”, is one of the most important chapters of HoL. Basically it explores the concept of echoes, what it is, what it implies, in various different aspects. Echoing is indicative of a closed, finite space, and there are no echoes in infinite space. Echoing can also create a sort of illusion that someone is there, repeating your words. So the quote above can mean the loneliness of god, the duality that comes with echoes, the universal need for social interaction, the universal need to be individuals,.........etc etc.

The “be not like me, I am alone” part also came up on Steph’s blog.

This quote, I haven’t quite figured out what it really means in the context of EMH, but I have a guess.

Leaning Against a Tree

Just an interesting bit I’ve noticed that might have some significance. In the end of HoL, if you believe Johnny died, then he died leaning against an ash tree. Holloway also died leaning against the ash-en walls of the maze, by gun, although it was suicide (the book also talks about Holloway suffering for a minute after he shot himself). Both HABIT and Vinny died leaning against a tree in “All good things”. Hmm.

Apartment 3103 and the abyss

In the climax of TNR, Navidson is trapped within the endless abyss of the maze, where the ashen walls and floor disappear gradually until he’s on a small platform, with only a book to keep him company. Navidson was literally in an endless isolation chamber. Sounds very much like Vinny when he was trapped in Apartment 3103 for two years.

Can You See The Words

This one has been covered by the EMH wikia. CYSTW does have a formatting style similar to HoL.

Water, Drowning, and Insanity

In earlier videos (hidden videos), Evan has been shown to be drowning in water. There were also clips of flooding. In HoL, the person who talks about drowning and the hopelessness of it is Johnny. As Johnny spirals downward mentally, both the number of times he mentions drowning go up, each time with greater detail. Water here is symbolic of madness.

Interestingly, water is also crossed out in CYSTW, similar to passages about the Minotaur in HoL. The Minotaur is the imaginary monster in the house/maze. This gives weight to the theory that HABIT was just Evan’s insane alter ego.

Falsity of Images

Page 527 of HoL has the following quote:

“they (images) may be heartwarming but what they imply rings false.”

As of “All good things”, this quote becomes very interesting when applied to Vinny.

CYSTW and The Whalestoe Letters

Steph’s blog is very reminiscent of The Whalestoe Letters section in HoL. The cryptic messages, the way her character feels like Pelafina.

Finding Fairmount/ Finding Whalestoe

Johnny’s journey to find Whalestoe (HoL pages 503-504) is very similar to Vinny’s journey to find Fairmount. Whalestoe was a mental institute, where Johnny’s mother, Pelafina, use to live. When Johnny got there, however, the institute has long been abandoned, with graffiti on the walls. Just like Fairmount.

“This is no longer their game. Consider yourself marked.”

This message could only be found by tilting the screen while looking at Steph’s blog. In HoL, at least one of Pelafina’s letters are entirely in code, and one letter leaves decoding instructions.

And finally, a note on the META aspect

In HoL, TNR is discussed among scholars who wrote works after works arguing over details in the film. Taking into account that EMH is like TNR…..and everyone who took part in the ARG or discussed EMH theories, including me and this post, also becomes part of the story. It’s pretty crazy.

#emh #house of leaves #part 1

21 notes · View notes

letterboxd · 5 years

Photo

Docs.

“I was very intrigued with this idea of the chest-burster scene.” The origins of Alien, and other Sundance 2019 documentaries.

Park City, Utah: Sundance has long had a reputation as the pre-eminent launching pad for cinematic documentaries, and that was especially true last year when a bunch of Sundance 2018 premieres went on to do extremely well at the box office. Titles such as RBG, Won’t You Be My Neighbor? and Three Identical Strangers have made a significant theatrical and critical impact in 2018 (not to mention an impact on our Year in Review).

Sundance 2019 had no shortage of buzzed-about docs on offer, with the highest profile one being Dan Reed’s Leaving Neverland, about the long-term sexual abuse two men claim they suffered as children at the hands of pop star Michael Jackson.

Although it only screened once, it was unquestionably the most talked-about film of the festival, and by all accounts an extremely harrowing watch. HBO will air the film in early March. (Letterboxd member David Ehrlich’s in-depth review is worth a read.)

Other documentary titles that garnered buzz at this year’s Sundance Film Festival include The Great Hack, covering the Cambridge Analytica Facebook scandal, Alex Gibney’s The Inventor: Out for Blood In Silicon Valley, about controversial blood-testing start-up Theranos and its founder Elizabeth Holmes, and Where’s My Roy Cohn?, a look at the life of the infamous New York lawyer best known these days for mentoring a youthful Donald Trump.

There were three other documentaries making waves at Sundance that Letterboxd had the chance to see. Read on for details.

A young Harvey Weinstein in Ursula Macfarlane’s ‘Untouchable’.

Untouchable After Leaving Neverland, this was the title that generated the most discussion around Park City. Ursula Macfarlane’s film examines the sexual misconduct charges surrounding disgraced Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein via gut-wrenching, first-hand testimony from some of his accusers.

It also chronicles Weinstein’s rise to power in the movie business, and his long tradition of wielding power and access to control the way media reported about him. Following the screening, Macfarlane acknowledged that the story being told in her film isn’t finished yet, with Weinstein yet to stand trial.

“We had to make a decision,” she explained. “Because you could carry on filming this story for God knows how long it’s gonna take until there’s some kind of conclusion. But we wanted to make our film evergreen in a way. So we did make a decision quite early on that we would begin with the arrest and we would end with the arrest. It almost became a kind of mythological, epic story.”

“It remains to be seen, of course, as to whether the legal system itself is capable of prosecuting someone like Harvey Weinstein,” added producer Simon Chinn. “Our hope is, through watching [Untouchable] you’ll get a clearer understanding of the nature of abuse in this industry and why the legal system is insufficient in dealing with it, perhaps. But equally, hopefully, you will understand how plausible the women who are accusing him are. For me, the film shows irrefutably that these women are to be believed. Let’s be clear about that.”

‘Untouchable’ on the red carpet, from left: producer Simon Chinn, director Ursula Macfarlane, actor Rosanna Arquette, and producers Poppy Dixon and Jonathan Chinn.

One of Weinstein’s accusers, actor Rosanna Arquette, appears in the movie and was present at the screening.

“A lot of women are not in this [film] because they were too afraid to speak,” said Arquette after the screening. “And I’ve heard from all of ’em, pretty much, during this process. Today. Everybody’s triggered. I’m here for all of them. I stand in solidarity for them, representing them. Just by telling your story, you help another person tell their story, so it’s a chain reaction across the world. So for that, we all very blessed to be a part of that because it’s helping people heal, slowly but surely.”

The Amazing Johnathan is the subject of Ben Berman’s untitled documentary.

Untitled Amazing Johnathan Documentary The Amazing Johnathan is a successful Las Vegas-based magician/comedian with a slightly sadistic edge to his act—his most famous gag involves appearing to slice a knife into his own arm.

Before watching, we weren’t sure that this would be the most inspired topic for a documentary, but the film was not at all what we were expecting. This is one of those documentaries that eventually becomes more about its own making than the ostensible subject matter.

Not that The Amazing Johnathan isn’t worthy of a doc—he’s a plenty interesting guy in a unique situation and the film gets a lot of value out of examining him. But the film has more to say about the nature of documentary filmmaking itself, as director Ben Berman becomes more and more central to proceedings.

There are secrets revealed throughout the film that might make you question its veracity. We won’t spill them here, but following the screening, Berman stood up to attest to its truthfulness.

“It’s absolutely real shit that happened,” he swore. “The biggest theme of the movie is trying to determine what’s truth versus what’s illusion, right? So to have that experience continue into you guys watching it is very exciting.”

The film’s comedic sensibility betrays Berman’s previous involvement in oddball comedy shows like Eagleheart, Lady Dynamite and various Tim and Eric projects.

The Amazing Johnathan himself was also present, and an audience member asked him about his current relationship with Berman, considering that it gets pretty strained in the film. “I don’t know what our relationship’s like,” he replied. “It was only towards the very end that I hated him. He definitely made up for it, what a genius ending.”

A sketch of the notorious chest-burster scene from ‘Alien’.

Memory: The Origins of Alien Screening as part of the festival’s genre-leaning Midnight section, this documentary about Ridley Scott’s 1979 classic Alien is the latest work from film nerd extraordinaire Alexandre O. Philippe, the Swiss director behind such documentaries as 78/52 (2017), which was entirely about the shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho, and The People vs. George Lucas (2010), which examined Star Wars fan discontent.

Philippe’s latest film is a deep scholarly dive into the cultural forces that lead to Alien’s creation. He factors in Greek and Egyptian mythology, underground comic books, sci-fi B-movies and the art of Francis Bacon.

“For Alien to become an A-movie in 1979, it doesn’t make sense,” Philippe said following the screening. “This is not a time when people were ready for it. And what becomes really interesting is this idea of, when a movie becomes that successful, at a time when the environment is not quite ready for it, what does it mean? It means, in a way, that there were certain images and certain ideas, and that we as a collective unconscious, and I truly believe this, that we summoned this film, we collectively put it on the screen.”

Philippe’s film champions the contributions of screenwriter Dan O’Bannon, who is often overlooked in favor of Scott and HR Giger, the Swiss artist behind the film’s iconic creature design. O’Bannon’s first attempt at the screenplay that would eventually become Alien was named ‘Memory’, hence the documentary’s title.

From left: Alexandre O. Philippe, Ridley Scott, HR Giger, Dan O’Bannon.

“To me, this film really is about the triptych of O’Bannon, Giger and Scott, and the symbiosis between those three people. It’s essentially an essay about those three extraordinary people meeting.”

The film was originally just going to be about the film’s most notorious scene before Philippe expanded his scope: “I was very intrigued with this idea of the chest-burster scene and, especially after 78/52, of making another film about another scene that had an impact on us as a culture. It seemed like a natural fit. But we did an early sizzle [reel], and it didn’t feel right.”

The resulting documentary is strong argument for the value of a film that does nothing but critically examine another film.

“What I really hope is that this film will make people look at Alien and consider it in a different light and maybe wanna go and dig deeper into it. Great movies, you can go over and over and over again and you will never ever get to the bottom, you will always see something new.”

Hulu has acquired ‘The Untitled Amazing Johnathan Documentary’. ‘Untouchable’ and ‘Memory: The Origins of Alien’ have yet to announce distribution deals. Reporting by West Coast editor Dominic Corry.

#letterboxd #sundance #sundance2019 #documentary #directors #Alien #the amazing johnathan #leaving neverland #michael jackson #me too #me too movement

4 notes · View notes