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newvegascowboy · 1 year

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food & agriculture in fallout: extrapolation and speculative worldbuilding

Okay, well. This is going to be an extremely long and data heavy post. Bear with me.

I'm going to go into detail about the crops and available food given to us canonically and textually. I'm going to be drawing some real world parallels between the crops we see in Fallout and what we have here. I'll be pulling relevant data from all the games, but the majority focus on this post is going to be about the east coast and Massachusetts in particular because it gives us the opportunity to participate in the agricultural climate of the wasteland.

Is there a point to this? Not really, but I'm pedantic and I take things too seriously.

my sources will be linked in the text throughout. for those of you who want to read about agricultural and growing zones of the continental united states, please follow me under the cut.

Growing zones and real world agriculture

Shown here are the growing zones of the united states, divided into a temperature map of about 19 different regions. It's fairly intuitive to read -- colder temperatures are north and east, while warmer temperatures are south and west. The majority of the Mojave desert sits between 7a to 9a, a temperature range of about 20 degrees. DC and the nearby section of the southeast coast sits between 7a and 8a. The interactive map linked below will tell you where your growing zone sits.

The 2012 USDA Plant Hardiness Zone Map is the standard by which gardeners and growers can determine which plants are most likely to thrive at a location. The map is based on the average annual minimum winter temperature, divided into 10-degree F zones and further divided into 5-degree F half-zones.

For the moment, we are going to focus on Massachusetts.

Using the temperature above, we can see that the growing zone of Massachusetts is 5a (-20f) at it's very coldest, all the way to 7b, (5f) at it's warmest during winter. Most of what we see in fallout 5 sits in the 6a to 6b zone, which is middle ground during the winter, but cold enough to want to warrant crops that can withstand the frost.

There is a solid 5 month window for planting annual crops, like corn, melons, and gourds like pumpkin. Your perennial crops are limited to fruit trees and possibly grains, depending on the variety and whether or not a perennial variety has been bred.

Cold weather crops include beets, carrots, greens like cabbage, collards, kale, and potatoes. These aren't the types of crops that will survive the winter as much as these are foods that can go in the ground as soon as it is unfrozen enough to be workable. Root vegetables and greens can germinate in soil as cold as 40 degrees Fahrenheit, which provides some leeway with unpredictable frosts and late planting times.

Much of the agricultural landscape of Massachusetts is dependent on the dairy industry, farming cattle, and aquaculture -- fishing and catching shellfish. Those with access to the coasts, fish and shellfish ought to provide protein during lean months.

Why are we talking about this? Well, if we're stepping into the shoes of a subsistence farmer in the fallout universe, we're going to have to take into account climate and ideal planting times for certain crops. It's not wholly important in terms of things like fic writing, unless you happen to be writing about the life and times of wasteland agriculture, in which case, I hope this is helpful! Again, I am pedantic, and this section is to provide a template when considering and discussing other parts of the game and what their specific diet and agricultural landscapes might look like.

Something to keep in mind when thinking about how farms might function in the Mojave, for instance, or if you're doing worldbuilding for a different part of the US.

Crops in the fallout universe

Now that we're familiar with growing zones and why certain crops are planted and when, we're going to apply some speculative worldbuilding to fallout itself. We will be revisiting growing zones when we talk about other climates, but for the moment, we're going to focus on fallout 4.

Now to preface -- I don't think that the food that is given to us in game is wholly representative of the plants or animals that survived the apocalypse. If some managed to mutant and survive, I'm willing to bet others did. I certainly won't deduct any points from anyone who wants to talk about growing cotton, or farming peaches or cherries, and I won't raise any eyebrows if someone includes things like spices into their wasteland cuisine.

In the 210+ years since the bombs fell, I do not think that the majority of the US is a desolate wasteland, but this post is not going to be my beef with the devs about how brown everything is. This beef is about food in particular. However, for sake of ease, I'm mostly just going to focus on the food that is presented to us in game.

There will be some extrapolation and speculation later, but if I do that for everything, then we'll be here all day, and we've all got things to do.

I would also be remiss to mention that agriculture in the US is old. It predates colonialism. The Native Americans cultivated the land long before any European settlers. They practiced a type of crop growing referred to as Three Sisters planting, which utilized corn, pole beans, and squash -- all things that exist in the agricultural landscape of Fallout as we know it.

Corn

I'm not going to say much about corn because there's not a lot to say about it. We all know what corn is. Fallout's corn is visually similar to wild violet, a hybrid corn.

But I am not going to say Fallout's corn is one such variety or another. In the 210 years since the bombs dropped, I imagine corn varietals have been bred and interbred a thousand times, and it is probably it's own unique strain. It's kind of a moot point. Corn is corn. You can do with yellow corn what you can do with wild violet, and whatever special breeds that make up Fallout's corn.

Corn is the third largest plant-based food source in the world. Despite its importance as a major food in many parts of the world, corn is inferior to other cereals in nutritional value. Its protein is of poor quality, and it is deficient in niacin. Diets in which it predominates often result in pellagra (niacin-deficiency disease). Corn is high in dietary fibre and rich in antioxidants.

You can do a shit ton with corn. It's a staple grain. It would not be incongruous with the fallout setting to have settlers making tortillas, cornbread, polenta, grits, tamales, etc. Corn can also be used to make corn whiskey. The husks can be spun into yarn and woven into garments similar to cotton, which I thought was interesting and also solves the problem of where the hell wastelanders are getting their clothes. Corn can be used as livestock feed, especially in the winter when cattle can't graze. While corn is a staple grain of the US, the east coast has minor corn production compared to places like the midwest. Corn is a staple, but it does not consist of the entire diet of your average wastelander.

Carrots

Not going to say much about carrots either. They're carrots. They grow well in colder soil and tend to have a lot of natural sugars. The carrots we're shown in FO4 seem to be a mutated variety different than the "fresh carrot" consumable in FNV, but there's virtually no difference, so I'm not counting it. Make some carrot cake.

Razorgrain

"This species appears to be quite promising. It's a toothy grain that we may be able to grind in order to replace wheat, which is untenable in the Wasteland. We are uncertain how to increase crop yields, which are very unpredictable. Will continue to study."

Razorgrain is our first unique mutated crop in the fallout setting. It most closely resembles a barley or a rye. Both are a fairly hardy species and can grow all across the continental united states; rye can germinate in cold weather temperatures. It wouldn't be outrageous to assume that razorgrain is similar too or a crossbred variation of both rye and barley. I have decided to base the majority of my research assuming it is a barley variant. Barley is also a major crop on the east coast near the Commonwealth, so that would explain why razorgrain is present in FO4 and not in the other games.

Barley requires a mild winter climate and can grow in growing zones 3-8, so it would be viable in Massachusetts. Barley can be milled into flour and it contains gluten; the gluten content of North American wheat and barley tends to be higher to survive the colder climates, so razorgrain would likely be very glutenous. It is also less susceptible to ergot than rye, but barley can still become infected -- and, I am assuming, razorgrain could as well.

Razorgrain fills the nutritional niche of carbohydrates and can be used to make breads, cakes, pastas, etc. It produces darker breads that have an earthier flavor than milled white flour. There has to be some method of actually milling the grain, though, which is an intensive process that can often be dangerous. Grain can also be used to make malted candy, which is our first option for wastelanders with a sweet tooth. Obviously, razorgrain can also be used to make malt or grain alcohol and is probably the source of all the beer you find littered around the wasteland.

Gourds and melons

Gourds and melons are actually a part of the same family, Cucurbita. The category of 'gourd' covers several different kinds of vegetables, including ornamental fruits that shouldn't be eaten. We aren't going to spend a whole lot of time on this one, simply because canon doesn't tell us that much and there's a lot of wiggle room in terms of interpretation.

FO4's model looks the most similar to a pumpkin, but it could be some other squash varietal from the Cucurbita family, which includes watermelon, honey melon, cucumber, squash, zucchini and pumpkin.

Melons is another pretty broad category. Melons and squash are part of the same family, as mentioned above. If we're going visuals again, the model is likely intended to resemble a watermelon. Watermelons grow best in humid and semi-arid environments between 70 and 8- degrees Fahrenheit. It's not impossible for wastelanders to be growing watermelons, but considering the humidity and frequent rainfall in Massachusetts, the melons would be vulnerable to fungal infections.

There isn't a lot of information on what specifically gourds and melons are in the fallout universe, so you could get away with writing in a pretty wide variety. Personally, I lean a little bit towards melons being a muskmelon variety, like cantaloupe or honeydew. Squash fills in some vitamin requirements for the human diet, and can be canned and stored for winter. It tends to be high in vitamin C and magnesium.

The limit to this one seems to be your imagination. Go crazy.

Mutfruit

This wiki claims that the mutfruit (it has a scientific name apparently, malus maata) is a mutated species of apple and crabapple. There are two different wikis about the mutfruit, both distinct. The first is linked above. The second is linked here -- I got most of my information from this second wiki.

There is a handful of "canon" information we can take from this set of wikis.

Priscilla Penske in Vault 81 is attempting to create foods that have increased resistance to radiation. She mentions the mutfruit would do well, but isn't certain how the hybridization would affect the flavor and texture.[5]

This claim is taken directly from the second wiki, but in comparison, it makes no sense. If the mutfruit tree is a product of mutation, then radiation shouldn't really affect it at all. It's survived and propagated to this point, hasn't it? I am disregarding this claim on the basis of being stupid.

Farmers in at Warwick homestead will comment on the fruit's characteristics, such as tasting sweet and being versatile in recipes.[1][2] The vault dwellers of Vault 81 trade for mutfruit with the outside world, and use it to make special occasion desserts such as pie.[6][7]

If the mutfruit is an apple variant, then it likely has a high sugar content, and it would have to be harvested in the peak of summer or in early fall.

There are fresh apples the be found across the wasteland, implying the existence of apple trees that have been unaffected by the bombs. Personally, I was assuming that the mutfruit was some kind of blackberry, given its appearance as a clustered fruit, or maybe even a type of plum. Regardless, the mutfruit is a fruit, which means that it would preserve well by being jarred or canned, has a high sugar content, and could likely be reduced to form sugar syrups. Like any fruit, it could be used to make alcohol.

Tatos

I want to stop myself from editorializing too much, but goddamn tatos. The crop that makes the least goddamn sense in the fallout universe. The bane of my existence. Let's get into it.

First off, we're given some pretty damning canon facts about tatos:

Tatos are a mutated hybrid of the cross-pollination of the tomato and potato plants.[1] The new consumable looks like a tomato on the outside, but the inside is brown.[2] Commonly cultivated in the Commonwealth, Appalachia and on the Island, its fruit is easy to grow and can keep one from starving, but their taste is described as "disgusting"[2][3][Non-game 1] and resembling "ketchup-flavored cardboard."[1]

According to some old botany texts we found, this appears to be combination of a now extinct plant called a "potato" and another extinct plant called a "tomato." The outside looks like a tomato, but the inside is brown. Tastes as absolutely disgusting as it looks, but will keep you from starving.

Note: This text was written from the perspective of someone who is unaware that both the tomato and the potato are being cultivated elsewhere. The writer also does not mention any sort of DNA test. However, the potato is also found in the Capital Wasteland, and the writer is a scribe in the Brotherhood of Steel, which originated from that area.

Both potatoes and tomatoes are from the nightshade family. They have the same nutrient requirements, and would compete for resources if planted separately but in the same soil. There is a method for planting them together where you splice a tomato stalk onto a potato root, but this is not the same as cross pollination and will not result in what fallout presents as a tato. What will happen is that the roots will grow potatoes and the fruit of the tomato will branch off the stems.

The potato itself is a stem tuber -- high in starch and calorically dense. A stem tuber is an offshoot of the parent plant that will grow beneath the soil as a type of asexual budding reproduction. We all know what a potato is. The tomato is a berry. It's the ovary of a flowering plant -- again, we all know what a tomato is.

I am going to give Fallout a little bit of grace and not comment on how mind bendingly stupid their description of a tato is. The outer skin is a tomato, but the inside is brown and starchy like the potato? I am not going to comment on how it makes little to no biological sense. The starchy tuber is starchy because it's an energy and nutrient storage device. The tomato is the enlarged ovary of a fruit. Why did those things, which are separately very good, combine into one very terrible thing? I don't know. It doesn't make sense. I don't really want to think about it. But these are the facts as they are given to us in game and I suppose I have to live with that. Obligatory "goddamn you todd howard. a pox on your house."

The tato is probably extremely calorically dense. It's specifically mentioned as being easy to grow and it is a better alternative to starving. It's probably grown as a staple crop throughout the planting season. I'm not entirely sure if the tato can produce glycoalkaloids like the potato does (that is, the green sections of the potato that can become poisonous when exposed to light) but if they can, and if stored improperly, it would negatively impact the health of whoever ate them.

I suppose since the taste is so offensive, tatos are better served as a carrier of some other type of food. Fried, mashed, baked -- the purpose of the tato is simply to get calories into your body. Starch can also be turned into alcohol, which I am going to need a lot of after reading the canonical facts of this stupid fucking plant.

Fallout: The Roleplaying Game Rulebook p.158: "A mutated hybrid of the pre-War tomato and potato plants, with the stem and reddish skin of the former and the brownish flesh of the latter. Tatos provide decent nutrition, but taste disgusting. However, they’re relatively easy to grow and thus are a staple of wasteland agriculture and is an ingredient in a variety of recipes."

fucker

"non farmable" crops

You can't cultivate these plants, but again - we're taking what's given to us and interpreting it extremely literally. There is no reason that these crops could not be domesticated and farmed.

Siltbean

Siltbean is likely a type of bushbean, rather than a pole bean. It's squat and low to the ground. Bush beans require little care or attention and you can pick them when you're ready to harvest them. Historically in North America, beans and corn were grown side by side (though those beans were pole beans using the stalks as support). Bush beans require successive plantings since harvests are early.

There's no good allegory for what type of bean this might be. The potato bean (Apios americana) is native to North America and also produces edible tubers, but there's no reason this couldn't be just some other type of bean. No beans that I could find had red/orange pods.

Beans are a good source of both proteins and carbohydrates, and another crop that can store well for the winter.

Tarberry

Tarberry is a little iffy, considering it is farmed by the ghouls at The Slog, but they're the only farm shown capable (or willing?) to farm the berries. Originally, I had assumed that tarberries were a type of mutated cranberry, and I thought the wiki was supporting me in that claim by saying this:

Tarberries are small, dusty orange berries of the tarberry plant. It is a water-grown crop similar to cranberries.

But cranberries themselves are also canon in the world of Fallout. So who knows! There's no canon information presented on the tarberry's characteristics, so it can be treated the same as any other fruit or berry.

Fungus variants

Glowing fungus: Glowing fungus is one of the few real world equivalents we have. It is a Japanese mushroom called Enoki. It is also farmable as shown in FNV at Hell's Motel.

Brain fungus: This is harvestable, but there aren't any "crops" shown as we would consider them. Considering it's benefits as a mentat replacement, then it's likely that there could be a dedicated space for growing it.

Food and Plants mentioned in the text

Potato

Thank god almighty, potatoes are canon in the universe of Fallout. Fresh potatoes are found as consumables in FO3 and FNV but potatoes are also mentioned in the text of FO4:

Mentioned in dialogue -- {Angry} Shut up Jake. If I hear anything out of either of you, you'll both be peeling potatoes for the next year.

I'm taking this as word of god. Potatoes are canon and I don't care what anyone says.

Tomato

Tomatoes are mentioned in the text, but are never actually seen in game. The only hint that this plant survived extinction is this excerpt from the wiki.

Note: As fresh tomatoes and potatoes are seen in the Mojave Wasteland as of 2281, with the potato seen in the Capital Wasteland as of 2277, the claim of either's extinction by 2287 in the Commonwealth Plant Database could be taken to mean local extinction in east coast regions, as opposed to global extinction. This entry may also just be in error.

There's potential for leeway here, but take it as you will!

Fresh apple

We discussed this back up in the mutfruit section of the essay, but the existence of fresh apples implies the existence of non mutated apple trees. They're found in both FO3 and FNV as a consumable item, so the apple tress have either proliferated across the continental united states, or multiple varieties survived the bombs.

Fresh pear

See above. Pears are also naturally high in pectin, which makes them useful for making jams and preserves.

Pinto beans

Pinto beans are a consumable in FNV and is another W in the bean category of the agricultural landscape.

Jalepeno

Look, I'm picking out this one specifically because I need to believe that other spices and peppers exist in the world. Where would we be without her? Nowhere good.

Raw sap

I am going to say that sap collecting is probably where most of the sugars and sweeteners in the wasteland come from. It's relatively easy to tap trees and collect sap, and it only takes a few hours to reduce the sap down into useable syrup.

Wild Blackberry, Lime, Cranberries, as well as Watermelon as being distinct from simply 'melon' are all mentioned in the text. The list of fruits mentioned or found in the games can be found here.

Animal husbandry

Fallout doesn't give us a lot of canonical information on the animal side of farming. The biggest real world agricultural export of Massachusetts is dairy and cattle farming. Chickens are canon in the worldbuilding of fallout as of Far Harbor, but canon feels both restrictive and extremely loose with regards to what animals can be cared for and how.

We aren't going to spend a whole lot of time on this one, only because the information is pretty limited.

Brahmin

There are plenty of brahmin found throughout the landscape of the wasteland. We most commonly see them as either livestock or beasts of burden. Things like milk, cheese, and other dairy products would be common if a farm has access to dairy cows. The investment to raise cows would be enormous for a subsistence farmer. Dairy cows would likely be kept for a number of years, where steers would be raised 12 to 24 months before being slaughtered; they'd likely be grass fed in the summer and corn or grain fed in the winter. Leather and beef would be products, of course, and things like soap and candles can be made from the beef tallow.

Chickens

Chickens are largely easy to keep and care for, producing eggs and necessary proteins. Chickens can provide niacin, filling in the nutritional gap that would be left by a heavy corn based diet. The investment for keeping chickens is lower than raising brahmin, but so is the payoff.

Bighorners

Bighorners are mutated bighorn sheep native to the American Southwest.[1] Humans have since domesticated them for their horns, meat, milk, and hides,[2][3]

Granted, bighorners are only seen in FNV, but I don't think there's any reason they couldn't have migrated east. In the text, it says they're kept for meat and milk, but there's no reason that they shouldn't provide a fleece as well. In the colder climate of Massachusetts, they would find value in wool, which can keep its warmth even when wet. They may be sparse across the commonwealth, but that would make wool and fleece all that much more valuable.

Fish

Yeah, I know. Technically we can't fish in Fallout (and depending on the game you play, you might not even know what a fish is). But aquaculture is huge in Boston, and with access to the coasts, it's completely fair to say that fish, shellfish, and hydroponics is a completely viable source of food in the wasteland. We see dead fish washed up on shore all the time, along with whatever the hell those shark things are. There should be fisheries and fishing towns all along the coasts.

New Vegas and Fallout 3

Consulting our growing zone chart, we can see that much of the southwest sits between 7b to 8b. The winters in the southwest are fairly mild, and while you can get seeds in the ground sooner, the majority of the battle is going to be finding a reliable water source.

The farming we see in New Vegas has one distinct notable inclusion: the NCR sharecropper farm.

The sharecroppers are growing a number of crops, including maize, tobacco, pinto beans, and honey mesquite. Corn can handle hot, arid weather, it's just not commercially grown out west. Barley can also handle hot, arid climates, and razorgrain would be suitable for the western front -- maybe we can assume it's made it's way that far west and is being cultivated alongside corn.

Most of the plants we see in FNV aren't the type we would see typically domesticated for agricultural use, but that doesn't mean people haven't adapted to their surroundings. It makes a lot of sense for locals to have domesticated local plants like prickly pear and banana yucca. There are a number of fresh produce items to be found as consumables, alongside local fruits the local fruits.

Heat-loving plants are best suited for summer production in desert climates. The plant families that fit into the heat-loving category are nightshade or Solanaceae (tomatoes, peppers, eggplant) and squash or Cucurbitaceae (cucumbers, melons, summer and winter squash). Corn and beans also perform best in hot climates.

Most plants CAN handle the heat and climate of the southwest, the issue is just finding a reliable source of water. Somewhere close to Lake Mead or the banks of the Virgin River would be prime real estate for farming, since irrigation could be accomplished without the use of pumps, like the sharecroppers use.

If we look back at the history of agriculture, it's developed along established waterways in almost every ancient civilization because that's what's easiest. There should be thriving communities surrounding the lakes and rivers in the southwest.

Comparatively, DC was formerly a swamp. It's hot and humid in the summer, though the winters are fairly mild. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that farming practices in the Commonwealth don't differ all that much from farming in the Capital Wasteland -- you could even posit that food from the Capital is of better quality ever since the successful activation of Project Purity. Fresh and unirradiated food was growing there before, so it's entirely likely that even more is growing now. YMMV!

Other consumables

We would be here all damn day if I did research onto every single consumable item available across all three games, so this mostly just because I'm covering my bases.

Look, I'm picking out this one specifically because I need to believe that other spices and peppers exist in the world. Where would we be without her? Nowhere good.

Pre War food

Most shelf-stable foods are safe indefinitely. In fact, canned goods will last for years, as long as the can itself is in good condition (no rust, dents, or swelling). Packaged foods (cereal, pasta, cookies) will be safe past the ‘best by’ date, although they may eventually become stale or develop an off flavor.

The risk with improperly canned good, or damaged canned goods, is botulism. Botulism will straight up kill you. You don't even have to consume that much of it; just a little bit will leave you dead in days. As desperate as I might be for a meal, I'm not going to risk dying because that can of two hundred year old peaches looks really tasty.

If properly sealed and in a dry, ideal environment, I... guess things like cereal and instant food could be okay? But again, with access to fresh grain, sugars, and yes, even potatoes and pasta, why would you want to risk eating InstaMash that's been around since before your great grandmother.

Pre War drinks

Sigh. Okay.

Unless stored extremely, extremely well, most bottled drinks aren't going to last much longer than 9 months. A year, if you're lucky. Exposure to sunlight and improper storage will break down the contents -- the best bottles are brown, then green. Clear glass is the worst because it does nothing to protect the liquid inside.

All the Nuka Cola you find throughout the world is flat, nasty, and will probably make you sick. I don't think that really needs to be pointed out, but there we go. I suppose the soda could probably be reduced to form sugar syrups, but with access to sap syrup and grain malt, I'm not sure why you would be desperate enough to do that.

So what does food look like in Fallout?

If there's one thing I know about humans, it's that humans like to eat. Food is culture, as much as culture and community is built around food. Good food and access to it is paramount to human happiness. All this to say is that food in fallout is whatever you want it to look like.

I can extrapolate and theorize all day long based on what Fallout tells us definitively, but I'm not going to tell you what the culinary landscape in the wasteland looks like. The only point that I will stress is that humans are really, really good at making things appetizing.

The fandom is already so creative when it comes to developing their idea of what food means in the wasteland. It's what's directly inspired me to write up this stupid, long ass post about farming and agriculture.

Obviously this is not a comprehensive list of all the base ingredients you can find in Fallout. I picked the ones I did because of the potential for consistent farming. Wastelanders have had two centuries to develop agricultural practices based around subsistence farming. I am not a subsistence farmer, and I have no idea how wasteland cottagecore would work at the heart of it. Running a farm is extremely labor intensive, and so much of your investment has to be immediately recouped in the form of eating what you harvest.

What a farm is likely to look like will start in the early spring when the ground begins to thaw, and a farmer can plant his cold resistant crops, like green vegetables and razorgrain. Potatos, carrots, and tatos will also weather the spring chill. When it starts to warm up, the more delicate plants like corn, beans, and squash or melons will get planted and tended to.

If your family is lucky enough to have a greenhouse, you can keep crops growing all through the winter and have a surplus for trade and barter, or just to preserve and refill the pantries.

A lot of the investment will have to be immediately recouped. Eggs from the chickens can't be preserved, obviously, but there will be meat from hunted animals, milk from the brahmin, probably an early harvest from the beans and tatos, and whatever else is in the pantry from the previous harvest.

Some of it will be canned or preserved in the forms of jams or jellies (just remember what I said about botulism). Meat from animals that get hunted can be smoked or otherwise preserved. Grain can be milled into flour or eaten whole and unshelled. Even the corn silk can be woven into clothes for the summer.

There really is no limit to what can be done in the end. While a lot of this information was taken from what we're given in the text, there's no rule that says you have to follow it word for word. If you believe something exists out there, then write it! We're all just making shit up as we go along anyway. If you need permission, then here it is. You can do whatever you want. Make up recipes! Go insane. Follow whatever your little foodie heart desires.

#fallout #kal talks #fallout 4 #fallout new vegas #fnv #fallout 3 #fallout meta #fallout food #fallout headcanons #behold. the agricultural masterpost of my farming headcanons #here she is

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dailyunsolvedmysteries · 1 month

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The Strange Disappearance of Kenny Veach

The Mojave Desert, located in the southwestern United States, is a brutal and unforgiving landscape.

Sprawling over parts of four states; California, Nevada, Arizona and Utah, the area is so vast that entire European countries like Ireland and Iceland could fit comfortably within its boundaries.

The “high desert” is prone to extreme temperatures and arid conditions. In November of 2014, an American hiker named Kenny Veach had a strange encounter with a mysterious cave in the Sheep Mountain area, just north of Las Vegas.

Once, he posted: “I hike over mountain top after mountain top and sleep on peaks under the stars . . . Sometimes I have to scale giant cliffs to get myself out of a jam, but I always make it back.”

He was proud of the fact that there was only one time that he had to be rescued on one of his adventures, and that was when he injured his leg at the top of a mountain.

Tired of the daily Monday-through-Friday grind, Kenny wanted to be his own boss, be in charge of his own life, and have the free time to immerse himself in his desert explorations.

So, he quit his day job and decided to be an inventor. He started a YouTube channel, documenting his creations and his forays into the desert.

It was in June of 2014, using the name Snakebitmcgee, Kenny left a comment in response to a YouTube video that read: That ain’t nothing. I am a long-distance hiker. One time, during one of my hikes out by Nellis Air Force Base, I found a hidden cave.

The entrance to the cave was shaped like a perfect capital M. I always enter every cave I find, but as I began to enter this particular cave, my whole body began to vibrate.

The closer I got to the cave entrance, the worse the vibrating became. Suddenly, I became very scared and high-tailed it out of there. That was one of the strangest things that ever happened to me.

Unbeknownst to Kenny and the rest of the world, that comment would have tragic consequences.

Kenny’s comment on that video sparked a flurry of requests for him to prove his claim.

Since he hadn’t documented the first trip to what would become known as “the M cave”, he needed to go back to the area to locate it and, this time, document what he found.

On his second search for the cave, he went armed with a 9-millimeter handgun and a video camera.

He documented some wildlife and found a whole horde of pine nuts that he gleefully ate on camera. He stood next to an abandoned mine shaft and rather sheepishly declared that he was unable to find the cave on his second hike.

Much to Kenny’s dismay, that video was met with criticism. Many thought he had made the whole thing up, and the public demanded proof of his claim of a mysterious cave with supernatural properties.

Viewers actively encouraged, and some even dared Kenny to go back out to the mountain range a third time.

However, one comment on his video, which has since been deleted, read, “No! Do not go back there. If you find that cave entrance, don’t go in, you won’t get out.”

Whether that comment was made by somebody teasing Kenny or whether it was a serious warning by somebody who was personally familiar with the cave is unknown.

Regarding the M cave, Kenny said, “I solo hike across mountain tops that most people wouldn’t dare go. I have been in more caves than I can count. I play with rattlesnakes for fun. But this one particular cave was beyond anything I had ever encountered.”

Hoping to put the naysayers in their place, Kenny hiked out to the territory a third time.

On the 10th of November 2014, Kenny once again made his way to the Sheep Mountain area, which is close to the U.S. Air Force installation called Area 51, known for its speculated connection to UFOs and secret government experiments.

It’s located near Groom Lake and is within the Nevada Test and Training Range. As late as 2012, the U.S. government denied the existence of Area 51, and it is still closed to the public.

Both ground and aerial searches were conducted, but no sign of Kenny could be found.

Dave Cummings from Red Rock Search & Rescue reported finding Kenny’s cell phone next to an abandoned vertical mine shaft, where he filmed part of the M cave video.

Specially trained individuals were called in to conduct a search of the mine. Unfortunately, aside from his vehicle and his cell phone, no trace of Kenny was ever found.

#Kenny Veach #unsolved #unsolved mysteries #crime #true crime

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matchbet-allofthetime · 23 days

Note

Can I ask if you have any Boone headcanons? I’m a little bit obsessed with the strong, silent, devoted-to-my-love sniper and there will never be enough content about him for me haha

This ask is wonderful and I thank you for it by smooching you on your forehead 😻

Also, I am so sorry for my ramblings about him, I've loved him since the game released + love all interpretations of him, so I smushed all my favourites I've seen/developed over the years into one (sfw) post.

(I also might've been a little high as I wrote these out, so sorry if I repeat anything or it's misspelled.)

Anyways, enjoy below the cut!

Boone HCs:

-around 6'-6'5" (shorter than Arcade, who I hc as 6'9"); frankly think he's 6'0" solid but built like a brick house

-Bulky, built with wide hips and wider shoulders

-he has ass. I don't make the rules, you can SEE that ass in-game just like you can his meaty tits. I speak more on tits later.

-Soft stomach (the type that you can lay on and spills over his pants some when he bends over or sits down)

-brunette with thick hair, but just shaves it all down.

-INTENSELY bisexual (preference for men, likely just because he was around more men than women in the NCR. But if he likes you in any capacity, you're fair game to him regardless of what you've got)

-very, very tanned. He's not a very pale man and wasn't ever really pale

-GREEN EYES BAYBEE!! Vibrant green, actually has central heterochromia. Green with brown around his pupils ✨

-dimples. He has dimples. Fight me.

-i have this HC that all wasteland-born folks have sharper teeth- he absolutely does. He opens his mouth and he's got four sharp canines and six additional incisors that are shorter but equally able to tear through gecko and brahmin meat

-can and will use that 7 strength stat, and also that matching 7 agility

-this mf is FAST and can sprint like hell

-big hands and arms and thighs- this man doesn't have visible abs, but he's got SO much strength under his softness

-his pecs are soft and heavy. Give that dilf the tits he deserves.

-ABSOLUTELY the strong, devoted silent type

-however, that doesn't mean he isn't playful. He can totally be a snipe, sassy, snarky man, as well as a tease.

-he'll side eye someone he cares about after he's opened up and teased just to see their expressions when he quips when they aren't expecting it.

-him and Arcade get along well, and Arcade talks with him about the world enough to convince Boone that the NCR is better as a military which serves the people, rather than a major power to run the Mojave.

-boone comes to agree easily, but only once they've known each other for a few years

-thinks Arcade is beyond genius, and the two sassy men mutually snark at others when well-deserved

-is more inclined to take off his beret in the Lucky 38 around the other companions, but still is particular about when and where. He likes it and will always stay on him when out and about

-but if the Courier takes it off of him, once they've been through a lot together in the first year or so, he'll let them do it. he knows and trusts that they'll take care of it

-considers it an extension of himself, much the way he considers his rifle and extension of himself, so it's very intimate in its own way

-achingly fond of sweet cakes

-wears sunglasses because his green eyes used to freak people out. They are incredibly sharp- and quick- and can catch movement across miles of desert sand.

-couple that with his agility and happy trigger finger, he makes one of the finest snipers in the wastes

-doesn't sleep well for the first little while after meeting the courier and their companions- keeps thinking he'll wake up to something happening

-does finally manage to relax though, and starts sleeping better than he has in years most nights

-his dog tags ever come off. Can and will stab a bitch for trying to touch them

-very good with combat knives and straight-up punching someone, but forever prefers using his rifle and being a ranged shooter.

-talked more at one time to the courier after defeating Caesar and taking down the camp than he ever had before

-actually fond of having Ed-E around during their missions

-lots of body hair, the shorter hair this mf has is on his head. Prefers his hair short mostly because of being NCR; it just gets in the way of his beret

-polishes and cleans his gun NIGHTLY. If he doesn't have the right wax for the barrel, he will go out and either trade for some or will slaughter for some. He doesn't care which he has to do, so keep it around. A small tin goes a long while, but make sure to keep it closed ✨

-wears a .50 caliber shell around his neck with his tags on the same chain- it's an old soldier's way of remembering their mortality as well as those lost, and he can move entirely silently so the metal doesn't click together as he walks or runs

-comes to find that he loves heavy military rifles

-give him a power fist or brass knuckles. I beg you. This man will fuck someone up at long and close range.

-could kill you with his arms AND thighs.

-sits with his thighs spread apart because he hates when they touch- texture nightmare for him

-can straight up rotate his irises around his pupils. Can ALSO retract and swell his pupils to make them larger and smaller at will- helps in the desert sun to keep his eyes from taking in too much light, but it also makes his eyes focus different, which can be useful

-hates alcohol, but will drink to forget

-started smoking cigarettes because the smell made him physically ill as a child- it was the only way for him to stop being sick. Now it's a bad habit he can't kick

-mostly it's because it's such a long-standing habit, but also he's got the 'tism and an oral fixation which requires him to have smthn in his mouth at all times. Will hold anything between his lips- an unlit cigarette, a toothpick, a bullet shell, the rare wasteland lollipop lmao

-this guy is big enough he can palm a milk jug like it's a can.

-prefere combat boots to anything else, especially steel toe combat boots.

-hates round laces, they've gotta be flat or he loses his shit and seethes internally.

-has tattoos. I don't make the gd rules, he's a military boy- he has ink. You just can't SEE any of it because it's under his shirt/pants.

-would actually have wanted an eyebrow piercing or the like pre-war and I will die and kill on this hill. He wouldn't have many piercings, but he would have a few, I feel. I think he'd get both eyebrows so it'd be even, maybe his nipples, and another secret one 👀

-doesnt like people much, very much a silent, brooding type. Doesn't open up for a LONG time, but when he does, he's warm

-affectionate as hell, but only once he's gotten to the warming-up point

-he more he opens up, the more snark he sends outward toward those he doesn't give a damn about. Will open his fat mouth and those brooding inside thoughts quickly become outside thoughts. Knows when to stay quiet as always, though.

-big spoon or little spoon, he doesn't care. Careful though, he runs VERY hot and will tuck a hand against your stomach to KEEP you against him, even in sleep

-likes tucking his face into someone's throat and WILL wake a lover to kisses on the shoulder and neck

-likes kisses and likes holding hands whenever able.

-hand will always be on lower back. If you're standing on something, he'll have his hand there in case. If you're sleepy and stumbling into the Lucky 38's kitchen, his hand is there to make sure you stay upright as he guides you along. If you're dealing with folks who are shady or make you uncomfortable or make Boone uneasy, his hand is right there to soothe you both.

-only puts his hand on the lower back of two people- the courier and Arcade. I take no criticisms.

-can kill for those he loves. WILL kill for those he loves.

-when cuddling with him, tuck your hand over his heart or around his dog tags and he'll melt in your hands. It's very important to him to silently be with someone, and he's hopelessly devoted to the few people he cares about.

#craig boone #fallout #fallout new vegas #fnv #boone fallout #boone fnv #asks #i have many many n/sfw ideas too but ykyk you didnt ask for that so. enjoy!

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uncharismatic-fauna · 8 months

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Mosey On with the Mojave Desert Tortoise

Also known as the California desert tortoise, or more simply the desert tortoise, Gopherus agassizii is one of the few tortoise species native to North America. As its name implies, it is found only in the Mojave and Sonoroan deserts, from northern Mexico into the southwestern United States; there it is the state reptile of California and Nevada. Their habitat consists mainly of of desert scrub, where temperatures can reach over 60 °C (140 °F); however, in the southern reaches of its range, the desert tortoise can also be found in tropical deciduous forests.

To beat the heat, G. agassizii digs burrows where they can rest when its too hot or too cold to forage, and where they can aestivate during the hottest months of the summer and hibernate in the winter. These burrows can be quite extensive, reaching 10 m (32 ft) long, and up to 25 tortoises may share the same burrow. Individuals will often dig out several burrows in their territory, which can range anywhere from 3 to 25 hectares (7 to 61 acres). Many of these burrows will also become homes for other animals, including rattlesnakes, gila monsters, squirrels, burrowing owls, and quail.

Like all tortoises, the Mojave desert tortoise is herbivorous. Most of its food is grass, but due to the limited choice in the desert they may also consume wildflowers, shrubs, and cacti-- both fruits and new growth. Due to their hard shells, this species has few predators as adults, but hatchlings are vulnerable to foxes, coyotes, birds of prey, and gila monsters.

Very little rain falls in the desert, and so the desert tortoise is well adapted to do without; the species stores up to 40% of its body weight in water in its bladder, to be absorbed later. Individuals will also dig shallow 'watering holes' in the ground, to be visited after rainfall. G. agassizii also gets much of its water content from its diet, and can go up to a year without drinking.

Desert tortoises typically mate in the spring, from March to May, though mating can continue until autumn. Males seek out and fight each other for access to females, typically by ramming each other or attempting to flip each other over. However, this species is also one of the few known to engage in homosexual activity, particularly between males. Because this is not a species that mates for life, or maintains strict social hierarchies, the purposes of this intercourse is unknown.

Females can store sperm for up to eighteen months, and typically lay their eggs in the following year from May to July in clutches of 3 to 8. These eggs are laid in a deep nest dug into the ground, and take 90 to 135 days to hatch. Young emerge in the fall, and receive no parental care. If they survive, individuals may take between 10 to 16 years to become fully mature, and can live to be 80 years old.

Desert tortoises are well adapted to blend into their environments. The shell is typically a brown or dull yellow, while the body is tan or dusty grey. There is little difference between males and females, save that males are slightly bigger and have a concave plastron (lower shell) to accommodate mounting onto a female. The species is medium sized, ranging between 11 to 23 kg (24.23 to 50.66 lb) in weight and 25 to 36 cm (10 to 14 in) in length.

Conservation status: The IUCN has ranked the Mojave desert tortoise as Critically Endangered. Their primary threats include habitat fragmentation and loss, predation by feral dogs, and road mortality. The population is estimated to have declined by 90% since the 1980s. However, conservation programs are being implemented to preserve critical habitat, and several zoos and conservancies have captive breeding programs for the species.

If you like what I do, consider leaving a tip or buying me a ko-fi!

Photos

Dana Wilson

Bruce D. Taubert

Sandra Leander

#mojave desert tortoise #Testudines #Testudinidae #gopher tortoises #tortoises #turtles #reptiles #deserts #desert reptiles #scrubland #scrubland reptiles #central america #north america #southern north america #animal facts #biology #zoology

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lonestarflight · 11 months

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"The second free-flight test of an evolving series of X-38 prototypes took place July 10, 2001 when the X-38 was released from NASA's B-52 mothership over the Edwards Air Force Base range in California's Mojave Desert. Shortly after the photo was taken, a sequenced deployment of a drogue parachute followed by a large parafoil fabric wing slowed the X-38 to enable it to land safely on Rogers Dry Lake at Edwards. NASA engineers from the Dryden Flight Research Center at Edwards, and the Johnson Space Center, Houston, Texas, are developing a 'lifeboat' for the International Space Station based on X-38 research."

Date: July 10, 2001

NASA ID: EC01-0204-2

#NASA X-38 CRV #X-38 #Crew Return Vehicle #CRV #NASA #spaceplane #lifting body #Dryden Flight Research Center #Edwards Air Force Base #California #Boeing B-52 Stratofortress #B-52 #mothership #bomber #July #2001 #X-Plane #my post

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thorsenmark · 1 month

Video

flickr

Smith Mountain and Distant Views of the Northwest Mojave Ranges (Death Valley National Park) by Mark Stevens Via Flickr: While walking the Dantes View Trail with a view looking to the south in Death Valley National Park. My thought on composing this image was to use the ridge I was on as a leading line into the image and then down the mountainside to the basin and valley below. While I did want to angle my Nikon SLR camera slightly downward to bring out more of a sweeping view, I was also limited by how much because of the sun's position in the sky and minimizing any artifacts across the camera lens.

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usafphantom2 · 4 months

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The Most Stunning F-117 Photos We’ve Seen Since Its ‘Retirement’

Tyler RogowayPUBLISHED Feb 4, 2024 4:26 PM EST

F-117 flying low level through the California desert.

James Reeder

We have seen some great photos of the F-117 Nighthawks that continue to operate in developmental test and training roles. These images have improved incrementally since their use as aggressor and for test support became openly discussed by the Air Force, with the locales they could operate from expanding along with it. Now, one set of images, taken by aviation photographer James Reeder, is the best we've ever seen.

The photos in question were taken in the famed Sidewinder low-level route that circumnavigates much of the R-2508 range complex that sits atop the Mojave Desert and the many military test and training installations that dot it. This particular section of the route, which has steep canyon walls, provides an especially dramatic backdrop for military aircraft rocketing through. It is perhaps the best vantage point we have seen of the famous route since the 'Jedi Transition' through Rainbow Canyon was shut down to military aircraft after a deadly crash in 2019.

The Sidewinder low-level route depicted in the R-2508 instructional materials. (USAF)

While we have seen some great shots from a similar vantage point of F-117s, the lighting and knife edge profiles shown in the images below are truly exceptional. Every detail on the top half of the 'Black Jet' is highlighted and its planar exhausts are fully visualized in action.

James Reeder

James explained to us that he received a message about a pair of F/A-18s that would be flying through the route and that their pilots would love photos if he was out there. "I enjoy the interaction with the pilots, so I decided I could make it up there to get them some shots," Reeder said.

"Arriving at my perch of choice after a bit of a climb, I settled in and waited for what I thought would be a pair of F/A-18s. Imagine my surprise when I saw a tiny black jet rounding the turn and then another. When I realized that they were F-117s, I was so shocked, I almost forgot to shoot! I have never captured this aircraft in the wild before."

"When I saw the light on the aircraft as they approached, I knew I had been blessed with a great opportunity. Using my Canon 5Ds with the Canon 100-400mm lens and a 1.4 X teleconverter, I followed both aircraft and clicked off as many shots as my pathetically slow buffer and limited frame rate would allow. After they passed, I couldn't resist chimping my photos [looking through the photos in preview on the DSLR's screen] to make sure I had captured what I wanted. I was thrilled to say the least. I think I yelled something unintelligible to the other two guys out there and threw my hands in the air."

The day proved fruitful beyond the pairs of F-117s and F/A-18s.

"I also shot 5 F-15s and 8 F/A-18s and enjoyed seeing them all, but those two Nighthawks were the stars of the show that day!. Yes, I got the shots for the F/A-18 pilots."

Jarod Hamilton was also out there caught the video below that he shared on X. It is the ultimate companion to these incredible photos.

Bravo to James and Jarod for capturing these famed jets like never before during their 'active retirement.'

You can see more of James Reeder's stunning work on Instagram linked here.

Contact the author: [email protected]

@AviationIntel via X

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mariacallous · 9 months

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On a spring day in 1978, a fisherman caught a tiger shark in the lagoon surrounding Enewetak Atoll, part of the Marshall Islands in the north Pacific. That shark, along with the remains of a green sea turtle it had swallowed, wound up in a natural history museum. Today, scientists are realizing that this turtle holds clues to the lagoon’s nuclear past—and could help us understand how nuclear research, energy production, and warfare will affect the environment in the future.

In 1952, the world’s first hydrogen bomb test had obliterated a neighboring island—one of 43 nuclear bombs detonated at Enewetak in the early years of the Cold War. Recently, Cyler Conrad, an archeologist at Pacific Northwest National Laboratory, began investigating whether radioactive signatures of those explosions had been archived by some particularly good environmental historians: turtles.

“Anywhere that nuclear events have occurred throughout the globe, there are turtles,” Conrad says. It’s not because turtles—including sea turtles, tortoises, and freshwater terrapins—are drawn to nuclear testing sites. They’re just everywhere. They have been mainstays of mythology and popular culture since the dawn of recorded history. “Our human story on the planet is really closely tied to turtles,” Conrad says. And, he adds, because they are famously long-lived, they are uniquely equipped to document the human story within their tough, slow-growing shells.

Collaborating with researchers at Los Alamos National Laboratory, which was once directed by J. Robert Oppenheimer, Conrad was able to use some of the world’s most advanced tools for detecting radioactive elements. Last week, his team’s study in PNAS Nexus reported that this turtle, and others that had lived near nuclear development sites, carried highly enriched uranium—a telltale sign of nuclear weapons testing—in their shells.

Turtle shells are covered by scutes, plates made of keratin, the same material in fingernails. Scutes grow in layers like tree rings, forming beautiful swirls that preserve a chemical record of the turtle’s environment in each sheet. If any animal takes in more of a chemical than it’s able to excrete, whether through eating it, breathing it in, or touching it, that chemical will linger in its body.

Once chemical contaminants—including radionuclides, the unstable radioactive alter egos of chemical elements—make their way into scute, they’re basically stuck there. While these can get smeared across layers in tree rings or soft animal tissues, they get locked into each scute layer at the time the turtle was exposed. The growth pattern on each turtle’s shell depends on its species. Box turtles, for example, grow their scute outward over time, like how humans grow fingernails. Desert tortoise scutes also grow sequentially, but new layers grow underneath older layers, overlapping to create a tree ring-like profile.

Because they are so sensitive to environmental changes, turtles have long been considered sentinels of ecosystem health—a different kind of canary in the coal mine. “They’ll show us things that are emergent problems,” says Wallace J. Nichols, a marine biologist who was not involved in this study. But Conrad’s new findings reveal that turtles are also “showing us things that are distinct problems from the past.”

Conrad’s team at Los Alamos handpicked five turtles from museum archives, with each one representing a different nuclear event in history. One was the Enewetak Atoll green sea turtle, borrowed from the Bernice Pauahi Bishop Museum in Honolulu, Hawaii. Others included a Mojave desert tortoise collected within range of fallout from the former Nevada Test Site; a river cooter from the Savannah River Site, which manufactured fuel for nuclear weapons; and an eastern box turtle from Oak Ridge, which once produced parts for nuclear weapons. A Sonoran desert tortoise, collected far from any nuclear testing or manufacturing sites, served as a natural control.

While working at Los Alamos, Conrad met isotope geochemist and soon-to-be coauthor Jeremy Inglis, who knew how to spot even the most subtle signs of nuclear exposure in a turtle shell. They chose to look for uranium. To a geochemist, this might initially feel like an odd choice. Uranium is found everywhere in nature, and doesn’t necessarily flag anything historically significant. But with sensitive-enough gear, uranium can reveal a lot about isotope composition, or the ratio of its atoms containing different configurations of protons, electrons, and neutrons. Natural uranium, which is in most rocks, is configured very differently from the highly enriched uranium found in nuclear labs and weapons.

To find the highly enriched uranium hidden among the normal stuff in each turtle shell sample, Inglis wore a full-body protective suit in a clean room to keep his uranium from getting in the way. (“There’s enough uranium in my hair to contaminate a picogram of a sample,” he says.) Inglis describes the samples like a gin and tonic: “The tonic is the natural uranium. If you add lots of natural uranium tonic into your highly enriched uranium gin, you ruin it. If we contaminate our samples with natural uranium, the isotope ratio changes, and we can’t see the signal that we’re looking for.”

The team concluded that all four turtles that came from historic nuclear testing or manufacturing sites carried traces of highly enriched uranium. The Sonoran desert tortoise that had never been exposed to nuclear activity was the only one without it.

They collected bulk scute samples from three of their turtles, meaning that they could determine whether the turtle took in uranium at some point in its life, but not exactly when. But the researchers took things a step further with the Oak Ridge box turtle, looking at changes in uranium isotope concentrations across seven scute layers, marking the seven years of the turtle’s life between 1955 and 1962. Changes in the scutes corresponded with fluctuations in documented uranium contamination levels in the area, suggesting that the Oak Ridge turtle’s shell was time-stamped by historic nuclear events. Even the neonatal scute, a layer that grew before the turtle hatched, had signs of nuclear history passed down from its mother.

It’s unclear what this contamination meant for the turtles’ health. All of these shells were from long-dead animals preserved in museum archives. The best time to assess the effects of radionuclides on their health would have been while they were alive, says Kristin Berry, a wildlife biologist specializing in desert tortoises at the Western Ecological Research Center, who was not involved in this study. Berry adds that further research, using controlled experiments in captivity, may help figure out exactly how these animals are taking in nuclear contaminants. Is it from their food? The soil? The air?

Because turtles are nearly omnipresent, tracing nuclear contamination in shells from animals living at various distances from sites of nuclear activity may also help us understand the long-term environmental effects of weapons testing and energy production. Conrad is currently analyzing desert tortoise samples from southwestern Utah, collected by Berry, to better relate exposure to radionuclides (like uranium) to their diets over the course of their lives. He also hopes that these findings will inspire others to study plants and animals with tissues that grow sequentially—like mollusks, which are also found in nearly all aquatic environments.

The incredible migratory patterns of sea turtles, which sometimes span the entire ocean (as anyone familiar with Finding Nemo may recall), open up additional opportunities. For example, sea turtles forage off the Japanese coast, where in 2011 the most powerful earthquake in Japan’s history caused a tsunami that led to a chain reaction of failures at the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant. With lifespans of up to 100 years, many of those turtles are likely still alive today, carrying traces of the disaster on their backs.

Recently, the Japanese government started slowly releasing treated radioactive water from the Fukushima Daiichi plant into the Pacific Ocean. Scientists and policymakers seem to hesitantly agree that this is the least bad option for disposing of the waste, but others are more concerned. (The Chinese government, for instance, banned aquatic imports from Japan in late August.) Through turtle shells, we may better understand how the plant’s failure, and the following cleanup efforts, affect the surrounding ocean.

The bodies of these creatures have been keeping score for millennia. “For better or for worse, they get hit by everything we do,” Nichols says. Maybe, he adds, “the lesson is: Pay more attention to turtles.”

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azurdlywisterious · 4 months

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The Brainless Ones

AN: As per this poll here, Sir won so it’s time to unleash her on the Mojave. Bit of a challenge for myself trying to keep Sir’s seven different names straight in a way that’s easy to follow, but I think I did it.

Word count: 1.6k

CW: body horror played for comedy (idk how else to describe sir’s empty head), very unethical scientific practices

My eyes take a second to refocus after I’ve been teleported. The doctors made sure to fit my ears with long range walkie talkies so that I could answer their questions in the moment.

“SHELLEY, DID YOU ARRIVE AT THE CRASHED SATELLITE IN ONE PIECE?” Dr. Klein yells into mic.

“You know, you’ll blow out Azami’s speakers if you keep screaming in her ear like that, Klein,” Dr 0 comments.

“I made it one piece,” I inform them before they continue bickering.

Dr. Dala replies, “I’m so happy to hear my little teddy bear Shiloh is doing well.”

I hear the static of Dr. 8 talking, noises that roughly translate to, “Check the screen in your forearm, Lizabeth.”

So I do. It appears that I have a little map of this desert projected on it. There’s even a little “you are here” dot. I’m assuming it will update as I explore more towns and whatnot.

“And how is my granddaughter Dorothy doing?” Dr. Mobius’s voice crackles in my other walkie talkie set.

“How did YOU even get access to Vera’s communication channels, MOBIUS?!” Dr. Borous yells (though thankfully not as loudly as Dr. Klein).

I interject before another argument starts, “My map says that I’m next to a ghost town named Nipton.”

“REPORT ANYTHING INTERESTING YOU FIND, SHELLEY.”

“This is the Think Tank-” Dr. 0 begins saying before getting cut off.

“And Dr. Mobius!”

Dr 0 sighs, “-and Dr. Mobius, signing off.”

I hear them shut their walkie talkies off, leaving me alone in the Mojave.

My first goal: find an assistant. A lab partner if you will.

I poke around Nipton for a while, taking time to examine the dead lobotomites littering the quiet streets, before inevitably moving on. There’s nothing really of interest here. Radscorpions, maybe, but we have radscorpions back at Big MT. I pick a direction that looks promising and follow the road. It should lead somewhere with at least a couple of live lobotomites.

Eventually I am met with some massive lobotomite adjacent creatures. They’re much more muscular than me and their skin is green too. How peculiar. I snap a couple pictures with my eyes. The Think Tank will be thrilled to have pictures of these creatures in situ.

Before I could even attempt to talk one into coming back to the lab with me, I am met with the end of a club made out of rebar and concrete. Dr. Klein made sure to outfit me with gymnastic procedures, so dodging the club was easy. The LRADs Dr. 8 planted in my palms made quick work of them too. I’ll have to ask him if they can be retuned later. At a lower decibel range it might make good crowd control in order to take potential subjects back alive.

I zap the corpses with my Transportalponder for the doctors to examine later.

After walking a bit longer, I suddenly hear, “SHELLEY! WHAT ARE THESE BIG GREEN THINGS SITTING ON THE FLOOR OF THE THINK TANK?”

“They appear to have once been human,” Dr. Dala hypothesizes, “maybe. I will have to give them a more thorough examination.”

“Please try and keep the formography obsession to a minimum this time,” Dr. 0 whines.

The doctors continue their squabbling, but I don’t interrupt. I find their chatter rather soothing out here in this quiet desert.

Eventually, their chatter subsides as they return to their calculations and experiments, neglecting to close the frequency.

I hear Dr. Dala remark, “So they were human once. Fascinating. What happened to them?”

She must be examining those weird beings I found while walking.

“Dala! Allow ME to examine these STANGE CREATURES from the Mojave!” Dr. Borous interjects.

I turn the walkie talkie frequency off, since it appears that I have found more lobotomites.

Based on the movies Dr. 0 would show me, I can see that that is a rollercoaster attached to a hotel. I have no idea why someone would want to attach a rollercoaster to a hotel, though.

I feel a cool breeze descend upon my skin as the sun goes down. I must have been walking for quite a while.

I see an interesting looking lobotomite leaning up against the side of one of the other buildings. His hair is gray despite his young face. He opens his mouth and a puff of smoke comes out. Cigarettes are another thing I learned from Dr. 0’s movies. That and Dr. Borous’s war stories about his days at American High School.

As I approach this lobotomite, he raises his head from his cigarette.

“Now, what’s a pretty lady like you walking around all by herself this late at night?” he asks me.

“Fascinating,” I mutter to myself. “I didn’t know lobotomites could talk.”

He chuckles at my observation. “Now, last time I checked, I haven’t been lobotomized yet, so you should aim your insults elsewhere.”

“Insults?” I cock my head in confusion. “Are you not a lobotomite? Then what are you?”

“Not much these days.” He puffs another cloud of smoke. “Barely even a man these days.”

He takes another drag off his cigarette and I snap a picture of him with my eyes. I have no reason as to why. I don’t think the Think Tank would really care. But I care? Strange. I’ll have to export that picture with a caption about how I feel. Dr. Mobius would be the most likely to have an answer.

“So, if you’re gonna keep staring at me, can you tell me your name?”

What do I tell this lobotomite? The doctors names for me are theirs to call me. I can’t give him that. So what name should I give him? What other names have I been called?

I’ve got it.

“You can call me-”

“Dorothy!” Dr. Mobius’s sing-songy voice comes in loud and clear through the walkie talkie in my ear. “Have you made a friend? Do be sure to offer him a Mentat for me.”

I pop open my head to fish out a Mentat packet from my cranial cavity. I see the lobotomite’s cigarette fall from his lips as he watches with an expression on his face. I have no idea what expression that is.

I hold the Mentat packet out for him. “Dr. Mobius-”

Dr. Mobius cuts me off again with a clearly fake cough.

I sigh and start over, saying, “Dr. Grandpa Mobius wants me to ask you if you would like a Mentat.”

Before the lobotomite can respond, there’s a loud crash followed by Dr. Mobius hastily saying, “There’s been an accident with the roboscorpions in the lab. I have to go, Dorothy! Ta-ta!”

I realize that my head is still open so I shut it. “Would you like a Mentat?”

“Did… did you just pull that out of your head?”

“Where else would I store Mentats?”

“In your pockets! Or- by jove, what even are you?!”

He brandishes a weapon at me. I’m not to worried, though. I calmly put the Mentat packet in the pocket of my pants.

“9mm pistol,” I say. “Based on how heavy it appears to be with you holding it, you only have one to three rounds left in the chamber. It’s in poor condition, and I can smell the adrenaline seeping through your skin, so you’re more likely to miss. And you’ll need more than three bullets to take me out.”

“How did you-?”

“Likewise, I would rather not fight you. You seem like a perfect lab assistant.”

“Lab assistant?”

I roll my eyes and quickly disarm him. One shot goes off but it embeds itself in the wall.

“Sit down,” I say to him. “Drink some water.”

“If it’s also from your skull, then I’d rather not.”

“Suit yourself.” I shrug and sit down next to him. “What’s your name, lobotomite? Do lobotomites have names?”

“I have a name!” he yells with a force not unlike a soda bottle after the soda’s been shook up. “It’s Beagle. Used to be the deputy of this fine town; but well, things change.”

“Fascinating.”

“That guy’s disembodied voice called you Dorothy. Is that your name?”

“That not a name you get to call me,” I can feel my internal fans starting to whirr. “That’s Dr. Mobius’s name for me. You are not Dr. Mobius.”

“Okay? So what should I call you?”

“You can call me Sir.”

He smiles again. “Why Sir?”

“That’s what the Sink’s Central Processing Unit calls me and is the only name I go by that’s not been claimed by a doctor.”

“You’re one strange girl, Sir.”

“Really?” I cock my head to the side again. “The doctors say I’m quite normal.”

“Normal people don’t pull Mentats out of their heads.”

“What else do normal people do?”

His face flushes a delightfully pink color. “You put me on the spot with that one.”

“You’re saying that you don’t have all the answers?”

He chuckles again. “The people in this town don’t necessarily think I’m the smartest person.”

“Come with me, then.” I extend my hand to Beagle. “Be my science deputy.”

He laughs genuinely at that. “What even is a science deputy?”

“It’s a lab assistant, but I renamed it to sound more enticing.”

I pick up his gun and hand it back to him.

He takes it and says, “Well, I can’t have a big mouthed little lady like you roaming the desert alone. I’ll be your science deputy, Sir.”

“Excellent! We’ll start tomorrow. But first,” I pull that packet out of my pocket, “would you like a Mentat?”

#fallout new vegas #old world blues #fallout fanfic #sir of big mt

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