#Miguel: I am regretting my choices- | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fairlyang · 5 months

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Prank 🕷️

gwen and miles convince you to help distract Miguel so they can set up yet another prank but there's an unexpected plot twist

w/c: 4K

pairing: miguel o’hara x f!reader

tags: fluffy, no smut soz, cute, soft spot for you, completely oblivious to his feelings for you, you like him, plot twist

part one

"Hey Y/n c'mere real quick!!" Gwen yells as I walk into the cafeteria and head on over to her and Miles.

"What's up guys?" I ask and plop down next to them noticing some boxes on top of the table they were chilling by.

"We thought of a funny prank to do on Miguel....." Miles starts to say as Gwen smiles.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It was only a week since they pulled off their last prank on him, with a tiny bit of my help.... I open my eyes and look at them. "Of course you guys did," I start to say and laugh then put on a straight face, "no"

"But Y/n-" Gwen chimes in but I wasn't having it.

"NO- I'm one of the people he can barely tolerate and even now a tiny bit less so if I help again he's gonna actually be mad at me- and for all we know he might be mad as we speak!" I say and shake my head.

"He'll be more more mad at us!! You just gotta distract him for us while we set it up..." Gwen says and makes pleading eyes at me.

"I don't know...."

"Pleaseeee" she says pulling her best puppy dog eyes and nudges Miles' side to do the same.

"I am not doing the eyes-" he mutters and she nudges him again harder.

"Please Y/n- I'm doing this against my wi-" He starts to "plead" but then Gwen covers his mouth and grins at me.

I roll my eyes and shake my head, "He got so annoyed at us last time!!"

"Last time was so harmless though-" Gwen starts to say but I interrupt.

"And this one won't be??" I question and laugh.

"Not what I meant- but look this one is something nice for him-" Gwen starts to explain but I shake my head.

"You guys giving Miguel a nice prank? Miguel O'Hara?" I raise an eyebrow at Gwen then look at Miles.

"In what world-" i start to say but Gwen holds a finger up.

"We felt bad that he got upset last time so we thought we'd make it up to him..." she says slowly and I sigh.

I look at them both and roll my eyes. "Fine but you owe me." I say already regretting my decision.

"YES!!! Thank you!!!!! I promise you won't regret this!" Gwen says excitedly.

"So distract him how?" I ask raising an eyebrow.

"Well I was hoping you'd think of something....." she says and bites her lip.

"Now Gwen-"

"You literally have to do the easiest part!! I mean how hard can it be to distract him...." She says and gives Miles a look.

"I guess I have no choice but to wing it..." I reply and chuckle.

She nods and motions for me to go. "Oh you meant like NOW?" I laugh and shake my head. Crazy.

"Yes now go! We need like an hour or so, good luck!" Gwen says and waves me off.

I wave at them and walk out of the cafeteria. Sneaking one more glance at them and they're whispering and laughing while opening one of the boxes. What did I get myself into?

I sigh as I walk the halls of HQ and heading to Miguel's office. Now the thing about Miguel is he's a very sarcastic, sometimes cold, very angry man. I somehow ended up kind of befriending him by just being nice to him. It wasn't a hard thing to do, I've always been kind to those around me.

Thinking I started on the wrong foot on my first day when I bumped into him like a dumbass but he didn't care. I slowly was gaining his trust and he started opening up to me, he started letting me hang in his office, I'd bring him extra food, we'd be conversing a lot which apparently shocked the other spider people.

I didn't question it, just assumed maybe he wanted a friend, someone he can be normal with. I didn't wanna accidentally read the situation wrong so I just make sure to be there for him when I can.

Although after spending that much time with him it had played with my mind a lot and I only recently started looking at him differently. Feeling something more than what you do with friends, but still I kept it friendly and tried to push those thoughts away even though I couldn't throw the butterflies in my stomach away.

And even with last week's prank he wasn't that cold towards me, he was still civil. Somewhat...

But even then it wouldn't be odd of me to go to his office, I usually visit him anyway and he doesn't really care unless he's in a mood, though he's never exactly rude to me.... But for the sake of allll of us I hope he's chill today.

I made it outside his office and I peep through the window and he's looking at his screens. I open the door as quietly as I can only to be met with his screams at the screens. So he definitely didn't hear me.

I quietly close the door and lean against the wall. He's swiping along muttering swears in English and Spanish and I widen my eyes. Then he turns around to look me right in the eye and snarls, "You're breathing loud Y/n, what do you need?"

Before quickly turning back and muttering, "Chingdada madre-" (mother fucker)

I cover my mouth to hide my laughter and shake my head. I'm fucking breathing loud??? They owe me big time.

"Be nice Miguelito, I just came to... check up on you.." I say and walk up to him.

He turns back around to me quickly pressing a button on his watch to remove his mask, and scoffs. "Check up on me? Oh so now I need hawk eyes all over me at all times? People are always coming in and out asking if I'm okay, if I need help, and I am tired of it. Do I look like I need help?!?"

I bite my lip to keep me from laughing and give him a knowing look. He sighs and turns back to his screens. "I'm getting exasperated. Why do you do it? I'm shocked you aren't sick of coming in daily. I know you're one of the very few who is around me a lot and surprisingly always in good moods, but how do you do it?"

He turns back to face me and crosses his arms "Oye nomas quiero ser buena amiga." I say and laugh sitting on a chair in front of him. (I just wanna be a good friend)

"And I don't know maybe y'know because that's what friends do..... plus i don't like seeing that vein on your neck that looks like it's gonna pop when you're mad. It is not a pretty sight.." I say shaking my head and jokingly shiver.

"That's what friends do, huh? Well, lucky me, then." He says sarcastically making me roll my eyes before he continues.

"That vein is what makes me. So maybe if everyone could leave me be sometimes, that'd be juuuuust perfect. And it won't ever explode." He says and I cover my mouth to not laugh.

"You're acting as if you hate my company. I'm one of the only people you can tolerate." I tease and laugh again. "And not just that one, also the one on your forehead, you could see that one from a mile away on special occasions." I snicker then cover my mouth with my hand. "and hey I never have your vein like that!"

He rolls his eyes, groaning. "Oh, really, never?" He teases. "Are you sure about that?" I stick my middle finger up at him earning me a glare.

"But you're one of the only ones who don't drive me completely insane whenever I see you, that much I'll admit to." He says raising an eyebrow at me.

"Yes I'm sure because otherwise you would've kicked me out, thrown something at me, or wouldn't have let me even take a step close to you." i say with a laugh spinning on the chair. "And awww que amable eres Miggy." I tease and smile. (How nice of you)

He chuckles, and when he speaks, it sounds like he's joking and being sarcastic, "Maybe the reason why I'm so calm around you compared to everyone else, is because I'm secretly love with you, or have a crush on you." I nervously chuckle and shrug, huh?

this man is so random...

He laughs again, and then he stops, he looks more serious. "No, but seriously, you're right, you don't make me want to rip my hair out. I'm not saying we're best friends or anything... but you're at least tolerable."

"Now that would be such a plot twist." I say and let out a nervous laugh. "I'm offended you don't think we are best friends but y'know what, we could get there." I reply with a genuine smile.

"I'm actually a really good guy deep down. I'm only really harsh and nasty to the ones who deserve it." He says with a shrug. "If someone cross the line, it's not my fault for having a bad attitude, it's their fault for making it happen." He says and I shake my head.

"And hey if you haven't noticed it already, I tend to be a very, very stubborn man." He says and I bite my lip. "VERY deep down." I joke making him roll his eyes. I gasp and widen my eyes, "and noooo really? I had no idea." I say sarcastically with a little smirk on my lips making him roll his eyes.

He crosses his arms and looks away. After a few seconds, he turns back to me, and his expression is different. "Why are you here, anyways?" He asks, sounding curious rather than angry. "I know the official reason is to check up on me, but what's the unofficial reason, hm?"

I bite the inside of my cheek and shake my head. Shit. "Unofficial reason? What are you on about?" I say and chuckle. Don't panic don't panic.

"Oh, come on, I'm not that blind. You're here for more than just checking up on me." He folds his arms and has a straight face. "Well, I'm all ears, 'm waiting. Spill it."

His voice sounds like it's a mix between annoyed and teasing, but more of the second than the first. Why does he know me so well???

Then I think of the perfect excuse. "Well I was kinda hoping you would tell me... two little birdies told me to come up for some reason and wouldn't stop giggling." I say letting out a chuckle.

Not a complete lie.

He looks at me, his eyes widening slightly before he lets out a short laugh. "Those fools are up to something, aren't they?" He snickers. "And I'm assuming they didn't tell you what it was?"

"Wait- I thought you would know." I say and shake my head laughing. Thank god he bought it.

"You think I know? There's not a single fucking clue in my mind of what those little gremlins are up to at any given time. They could be pranking someone, pulling the strings behind some kind of elaborate scheme, or planning my downfall. Honestly, who knows?" He says then groans.

I burst out laughing and smile. Too bad he knows them well enough too. "Or potentially all of the above." I say and laugh when a phone rings.

I pull mine out of the pocket of my suit and it wasn't it so I look up at him. He looks back seeing his phone on his desk and shrugs. "Do not tell me they planted a phone in here somewhere to be obnoxious-" he starts to say and I feel a buzzing on the jacket I had on, I widen my eyes and gasp. There it was. HOW THE FUCK????

I take it out and scoff. Those little shits- I answer the phone and scoff. "What are you guys scheming huh?" I ask now completely confused considering I didn't even notice them slip it in.

"Come on down to the cafeteria now!!" Gwen says with a little giggle. "And with Miguel!!" She quickly says before hanging up leaving me speechless.

What the fuck.

Then I look up at Miguel and he looks at me dumbfounded. He takes a step forward and points a finger at me. "Let me find out you were lying to me-"

"I didn't even know the phone was there!!!" I say and shake my head laughing. Sneaky fuckers.

"Well we gotta go to the cafeteria so let's go." I say walking towards the door and motion for him to come.

He groans and soon follows. "If it's anything sticky or stupid-"

"You'll yell at them?" I finish and he shakes his head.

"Oh I could do much worse than just yell-" he says and the protective older sister came out.

"Miguel!!"

"What? They're beyond irritating." He says and lifts his hand up in defense with a smirk.

"They're just kids. Don't tell me you're scared of teenagers....." I tease and nudge him.

He rolls his eyes at me and we continue walking towards the cafeteria. "They're harmless pranks anyway. At least the ones they pull on me... I can imagine they might vary though..." I say and bite my lip to stop myself from laughing.

"What's the worst they've done to you?" He asks looking at me raising an eyebrow.

"I think switch up the salt for sugar. My tacos didn't deserve that treatment." I say and laugh.

He scoffs and rolls his eyes making me snicker. "Do I wanna ask?" I say looking up at him.

"I'll tell you, two days ago, esos cabrones me hecharon salsa tan caliente en mi agua, en frente de mi." He says and I smack my hand on my mouth about to burst out laughing and he gives me a glare. (Those fucks put some extremely hot hot sauce in my water in front of me)

"What do you mean in front of you??? You didn't see the color change???? Or hell- THEM? " I ask before covering my mouth again feeling my stomach hurt because I'm not letting the laughter out.

"I wish I knew how they did it, they're sneaky, quiet, like actual fucking spiders because I didn't hear them but I was just in the office and I took a sip and boom my whole face is red in seconds." He says annoyed making me widen my eyes.

"Did you swallow???!?!" I say finally bursting out of laughter and he glared harder but then looks away.

I gasp and cackle. "Estas ciego?" I ask teasingly and he growls. (Are you blind?)

"Shut up."

I lift my hands up in defense and laugh. "At least it wasn't poison." I say and snicker.

He nudges me but harder than I did it and I laugh harder. "You know what you're right, at least they didn't kill me." He says looking at me and rolled his eyes.

I giggle shaking my head as we walk into the cafeteria and I widen my eyes, my mouth falls open. Oh my fucking god.

I blink and cover my mouth suddenly feeling a flush suddenly creep onto my cheeks. They set up a fucking candlelit dinner for two in the middle of the cafeteria. Was I- was I set up????

I step closer to the table and see Miles and Gwen in waiter suits behind some decorations they set up. I look at them absolutely shocked and they just have little smirks on their faces. I then raise my eyebrows at them and look at Miguel behind me and he's holding two wine glasses with a small smile on his face. "YOURE FUCKING LYING-" I scream hiding my now flushed face and bursting out laughing.

I felt my face turn red, and I was unsure if it was from embarrassment or the fact that I didn't mind it.... I calmed myself down and just stared at everything with a shocked expression.

"Th- this was a prank on ME?" I say laughing and shaking my head.

There is no way......

He smirks and nods. I cover my face and wipe the tears that were falling out from laughing so hard. I turn to look at Gwen and Miles and shake my head. "You two owe me a HUGE favor." I say, playfully glaring at them.

They laugh and Gwen motions for me to take her arm so I grab it and she escorts me to one of the chairs making me grin while Miles just stands up there getting the bottle of wine trying to open it. I bite my lip watching him struggle a bit and Miguel turns his attention from looking at my reaction to Miles. "Oh my god- Miles give me that-"

Miles puts a hand up and waves him off to sit down. Miguel hesitantly sits down across from me but doesn't take his eyes off him. "Did you not get the corkscrew???" He growls and runs a hand over his hair looking stressed as hell.

I laugh and cover my face shaking my head. "No lo quiebres cabron-" he says standing up to grab the bottle from him. (Don't break it bitch)

Miles lets him get it and looks at Gwen who widens her eyes at him. He makes a face back and I turn to look back at Miguel who somehow popped it with his bare hands. Obviously this man is jacked but a cork???

I chuckle and shake my head. He looks back to me and smiles, sitting back down. He serves us both a glass and I happily take the glass from him, taking a sip. "So how did this come to be?" I ask curiously taking turns looking at the three of them.

"Can't say I'm shocked, about these two," I say nothing towards Miles and Gwen before turning back to look at Miguel, "how did you get involved? And why this?" I ask and cross my arms over my chest now looking at all of them.

Miles and Gwen both turn to look at Miguel, I look at him raising an eyebrow, when he speaks, "it was my idea."

"What-"

"I'm gonna be honest with you alright? But I just- I need you to hear me out." He says nervously and I nod.

He then looks over at Miles and Gwen and motions for them to leave which they do, walking over to the kitchen before Gwen gives me a sly wink when Miguel turned to look at me. I bite my lip and look back at him, his eyes looking so sincere and I was just appalled. My stomach felt like it was flipping in circles and I was getting a little nervous myself.

"Over the past few months... I've felt myself open up to you, a lot. I usually don't do that but with you it felt like I could just relax and not have to worry so much and just be myself with you." He explains and I feel my heart racing. Oh my god-

I gulp my nerves down and nod as he continues, "You give me a sense of normality and tranquility in this place and I haven't had that in a long time. You've barely been here six months and I feel like you've changed the way I view things, and how I act towards others. You've changed me for the better." He says then lets out a deep breath, his hands slightly shaking against the table.

"I- I think- no-" he stutters and then takes another deep breath and leans forward still looking deeply into my eyes. "I've grown to like you... a lot... and more than just friends."

I felt my heart race and I bite my lip to try to hide my smile from appearing so quickly. Miguel O'Hara likes me?

I was speechless, I couldn't believe the words just came out of his mouth- I didn't think he, of all people here, would think of me that way.... It made my heart flutter knowing he likes me back and suddenly it clicked, that's why he's been so open to me.

He looked at my face carefully, probably to see if he'd make me uncomfortable at all, but he continued, "so I thought this would be a... alright idea for me to uh admit this to you." He says now looking away from me as I take notice of his pink cheeks. Holy shit-

"Well I'm really glad that I was able to help you, I guess I understand why everyone was shocked when you let me in." I say and chuckle, I continue looking at him as he looked off to the side.

I take a deep breath and smile, "I like you too." I say and his face perks up.

"I've really enjoyed spending time with you, and having all kinds of conversations together. I didn't really want to assume you liked me back, I didn't wanna seem cocky or anything, or accidentally cross a line I wasn't meant to-"

He cuts my rambling off by looking up at me and reaching over to softly grab my hands, rubbing his thumb gently on my skin. I bite my lip and hold his hands back. "So let's have this be our first date, yeah?" He says softly and I nod, giving him a wide smile making him return it back.

Suddenly I hear the sounds of giggles and I didn't need my spidey senses to tell me where it came from. "Alright you guys can come in." Miguel shouts out and instantly the sounds of their footsteps are heard.

They run up to us with Gwen carrying a tray and Miles smiles at me. I smile at them both as I hear Miguel sigh, I turn to him and he gives me a soft smile. Suddenly Gwen is putting down the tray of a very clearly homemade pizza in a decent shaped heart. "Thank you madam." I say and she winks.

She set me up. She and Jess are the only ones who have known my true feelings for Miguel..... I doubt she'd told him, but that's why she knew I would be cool with this. So sneaky...

"You're a real one Gwen." I whisper to her and she mouths 'I know' as she takes a step back to stand next to Miles.

They both whisper to each other as I turn to look at Miguel and realize we were still holding hands. I couldn't help the rising heat on my face, I'd never been one to confess my feelings like that, for anyone, ever. Maybe he changed me a bit too...

I squeeze his hands making him grin and I hear the snap of a picture, or multiple actually. He closed his eyes and breathed in, "Miguel it's fine." I say and smile at Gwen who was holding up her phone.

'Send me them later' I mouth to her and she excitedly nods. "Alright thank you guys for your help-" Miguel starts but Miles cuts him off.

"Wait you're not gonna let us join you-"

"No-"

"We're kinda hungry man-"

"I don't care-"

"Malo." Miles mutters and Miguel lifted a hand up probably to throw something at him, and I reached over and intertwined our fingers together. (Bad)

He looked back at me and let out a deep breath, rubbing his thumb on my skin again. His chest was no longer heaving and his breathing was steady. "It's fine." I whisper and he sighs.

He nods and gives me a small smile, almost like a little thank you. I return it back and grin until Miles decided to speak up again, "No fucking way you calmed down the beast-"

"That's fucking it-" Miguel says and letting go of my hands to stand up and quickly stormed over to Miles who made a run for it as soon as he heard Miguel speak.

I roll my eyes and watch as Miguel began to chase after Miles all over the cafeteria. Gwen sat down across from me and looked down at the pizza, I sigh and nod. She gives me a grin and instantly takes a piece, I follow her lead and grab one as well while we watched the free entertainment in front of us.

#miguel ohara #miguel ohara imagine #across the spiderverse #Miguel O’Hara smut #Miguel ohara smut

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yourlocalspiderwoman · 1 year

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The Monster Within

Miguel O’hara x gender neutral reader

Angst

Tw: mentioning of drugs

Not my first fanfic being about this magnificent human being🙏also let me know if y’all want a part two or sum🤼

He began to neglect his personal life, and his health began to suffer. He would work for days straight,barely sleeping or eating anything. Despite these signs, Miguel continued down his self-destructive path. He was convinced that only he could save the multiverse, and he was willing to pay any price to archive that.

As y/n entered the lab, they noticed Miguel sitting in the corner, seemingly lost in his thoughts. His skin was so pale and fragile that it looked like it was made of porcelain,so much so that at the slightest touch,it seemed like he would crumble into pieces like a broken vase. His whole appearance was almost frightening, causing y/ns breath to catch in their throat. But despite his fragile appearance, y/n couldn't help but feel a sense of awe at the sight of him, as if he was a force of nature that couldn't be helped but feel drawn to, like a magnet to metal, or the pull of the moon on the ocean tides.

“Miguel I think we seriously need to have a conversation” y/n said carefully as they slowly approached him.”You only hang around your lab and you barely ate anything in the past weeks!We - I…am worried about you Miguel,you can’t keep being this neglectful over your health and just assume none of us would say something about it.”

Miguel finally looked up from his work, his eyes dark and intense,just as his voice. "I understand that you're worried, y/n,but I don't have a choice right now. I have to focus on my work, and right now, that means having priorities and making sacrifices.”

“So what?You’re just gonna keep doing this and ignore how everyone else is worried sick about you?I can’t believe you’re this ignorant.”

Miguels face frowned at y/n's harsh words, and his voice became even lower. "I'm not being ignorant, y/n," he glared. "I know everyone is worried about me, but I can't let that hold me back.This work is too important, too necessary.

Of course none of you would understand that now, would you.”

Y/n shook their head, voice rising as they argued back. "That's not what I meant, Miguel," they said, keeping their voice sharp. "I just meant that you can't keep pushing yourself like this.You're eventually going to collapse, or break down, or worse. And then what? Who's gonna do all of this work then?”.

Miguel and y/n were both standing now, their voices rising as they continued to argue back and forth. The tension in the room was rising and it was clear that neither of them was going to back down.

Miguel spoke first, his voice almost a shout. "You know what, y/n?If you’d give me some space,who knows what I could have accomplished by now!”he shouted, almost yelling. "I can't work with you breathing down my neck all the time. I need to focus on this, and I can't do that if you're constantly interrupting me!"

Y/n looked at him with a mixture of anger and disbelief, their voice almost even louder now. "What am I supposed to do, Miguel?" they shouted back. "Just sit back and watch you destroy yourself, work yourself to death without taking a break?You know I just care about you and-“

“Finally!the genius got it.God how did you even manage to end up as Spider-man.Now if you’d excuse me I need to finish this, preferably without your nagging.”.

Y/n was taken back by Miguel's comment, they had never seen him like this before.

Tired of Miguel's constant belittling, they snapped back at him."And how did you become Spider-man?" y/n asked,their voice almost a shout now. "At least I got bitten by the goddamn spider,not got hooked up on some shitty drug.”

Miguel's expression changed to one of almost shock, as though he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "What did you just say to me?" he asked, his voice almost a whisper now.

Y/n quickly realised what they just said, regret immediately displaying on their face."No,look Miguel I’m sorry I genuinely didn’t mean to say that, you know it.Let’s just take a break and talk this through calmly.”they said, trying to deescalate the situation.

But only then they noticed something about him just seemed so…off.Miguel was almost panting like an animal by now,eyes a deep shade of red and his heart racing like he was on the brink of panic.

It’s only when y/n noticed the signs.All the empty vials stacking up on his desk,his odd behaviour…

He’s on rapture again.

“Look,I said I’m sorry alright?Lets just all think this through once more-“Y/n said,slight panic rising in their voice.They can’t help but slowly retreat, aiming towards the door but the more steps they took back,the more he advanced forward.

“Look just stay put here alright? I can go and get someone—“

But before they were able to react, he already slammed the door tight.Trapping the both of them.

His movements were almost sluggish by now.It was clear that the drug was taking a toll on his body and mind,yet he calmly replied “Don’t. I know I was a bit too harsh on you dear, and I think it’s just fair for me to properly apologise." He paused for a moment, as though considering his next words.

“What…are you talking about.”they said,a slight blush creeping up upon hearing that nickname.”

After a long pause of him contemplating and panting heavily he continued-“Just…god,You just make me feel these intense emotions, it’s just something about you.Something about you that makes me behave like a fucking dog” he released a dark chuckle and for the first time y/n saw his long pointy fangs,grinning back at them.Y/n took a final step back but now found themselves completely backed into a corner.He looked like a monster, a feral creature ready to attack.But yet, there was something else.Something y/n couldn’t quite interpret.

It was getting to the point where Miguel was about to lose himself to the drug completely. He had to stop, he had to do something before it was too late.

But did he want to?

Didn’t he already lose enough? Maybe he just wanted to give in, to let the drug take over,to become completely wild and feral.He lost so much already but at the same time he’s doing everything for…them.

But before he could think about it any further he found himself lunging at them, his claws extended and ready to attack.

#miguel x reader #miguel o'hara #spider man 2099 #miguel o’hara imagine #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o'hara x reader #across the spiderverse #spider man #drabble

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trashcanalienist · 11 months

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Alright fellas I watched the 3pac movie again and now that I've refined my thoughts I am going to share them (tornado warning)

Let's start with Miguel. Or really, with Nueva York. Beautiful, futuristic utopia, endless green grass and distant white skyscrapers against the blue sky, and for all of that there is not a single note of life within it. It's empty, just a hollow monument to "good", like Miguel himself. And like Miguel, its underbelly is dark and chaotic and unknowable - sunless tunnels cluttered with motorways and nothing else, the grinding gears of some unbearably massive machine that doubtless keeps the whole city running in its blind pretense of life, the gears of which visually threaten to crush Miles. Because Miguel O'Hara is a fucked up guy who is not only willing to be so violent against a 15-year-old child, but NEEDS to be. In true vampiric fashion (disclaimer: he's not a vampire) Miguel has an obsession beyond obsession, a predatory drive which must be fulfilled - but not for blood. For vengeance. Because he's already killed an entire universe of human beings. He's stolen a family he was never supposed to have, and then killed them all through his selfishness. And he has to make that someone else's fault. He has to be the Good Guy to live with himself, but inside he is the most detestable of monsters.

(Miguel and Uncle Aaron have a lot in common (inverted) especially with their emotional impact on Miles. He thought he could look up to both of them - but Uncle Aaron failed in regret, and Miguel seeks to amend his failures through more damage. Important that Miguel's theme is distorted synth, the same distortion which they used to create the Prowler theme)

Meanwhile Uncle Aaron acted the monster, but as Miles puts it he was a genuinely good guy underneath. He had no interest in being the kind of black man that Jeff is - slotting into white society, that is - and inevitably that got him pulled into being the Prowler. Everything's contained in what he said to Miles in his last moments. Every single Uncle Ben says the classic line, "With great power comes great responsibility", etc etc, telling Peter Parker to knock off the ego and be the kind of hero the city needs. But Miles is already that person. Uncle Aaron says "You're the best of us. You're on your way up. Just keep going."

Before he became Spiderman, Miles actively did not want to go to Visions Academy because he WANTS his ghetto friends, he WANTS his low-income Black Spanish life. He was perfectly happy to waste his intelligence and talent because he never figured he'd get anywhere to begin with. But now he's got a greater purpose in helping people, in being the best he can because no one else has the power to be Spiderman. When Uncle Aaron says "You're the best of us", he doesn't just mean their family. Miles managed to escape the pull of gang violence and the twisted honor-and-glory appeal of thug life and the oily black tendrils of poverty entwined around his legs. He shook off everything that we now know was supposed to be his destiny, and he has never looked back.

But in doing so he doomed Miles G to that very fate. The first movie didn't touch much on that aspect of urban blackness, likely because white audiences would not care. But now you love Miles! You ain't got a choice now! They tricked you, man!

42 Miles, or Miles G. Morales as he's credited, has experienced a greater loss with nothing to hold on to besides the structure of gang violence within a falling, burning city. His father is dead, both stripping him of that moral figure and discounting all the ideas that Jeff tried to instill into his son - because those are the beliefs that got him killed. If you don't wanna get killed, you better get some power and some respect, and never let go of either. Uncle Aaron, still the original Prowler, steps in as Miles G's father figure, making sure Rio's financially okay and not too stressed, reassuring her that "We're family". Family is everything, it's the only bond they have, and Miles G would do anything for his mother. Anything at all. The voice actor leans more into the Puerto Rican accent, rolling the R's and accentuating S's, whereas our Miles talks more black even when he's speaking Spanish - his father's absence, and his love for his mother above all else.

He's the man of the house now. He's gotta provide, and he's gotta take care of his mother. 15 years old, Miles G has design schematics for the current Prowler gloves posted on the wall of his room - it's a far more active part of his normal life than with our Miles, who keeps his Spidermanning entirely separate (for now). It's bleeding into his everyday, infecting his soul with every heist, collection, and murder that he carries out. It's not Uncle Aaron's fault. He loves his nephew, and without his father around, he wants the kid to have respect, to not have to work his way up from nothing, so he passes him the mantle. Uncle Aaron was undoubtedly drawn into that life by something similar. That's how the cycle self-perpetuates. The result is a 15-year-old kid with the eyes of a combat veteran.

Here is a kid who does not hesitate, who does not forget or make mistakes, who jumped into this life headfirst because he knows there is no other choice. For him there is no way out, and he is far from the only one.

Ain't no love in the heart of the city. Red light pouring in from the fires outside and the soul-death inside, the bloody inevitability, the need to protect themselves and their own because no one else will. This violence is the only pathway. Violent death will come whether or not you follow it. And staring into his own face and yet much older eyes, our Miles is just beginning to realize exactly what he's escaped and what Liv's collider portal doomed this kid and this world to, all because of a tiny little spider. And he has switched fates, as in the first film his Spidey-Sense started out as green and purple, then turned red and blue as he vibed with Peter. Over the course of a few seconds, we witnessed his destiny change. The colors of this interplay between worlds are green and purple, green and purple, the Prowler's colors.

And red, as Miguel tried to ensure that fate (execution) is carried out. Miguel blames Miles as the "original anomaly", yet he conveniently ignores the spider, or Doc Ock who brought it over and started this whole mess, or Kingpin who funded her. Miguel is willing to physically attack a black child for his own misplaced regret and self-loathing. Beyond that, I genuinely believe that if he had reached Miles in the Go-Home machine, he would have killed him. The madness in those ripping claws is not something stopped by the sudden softness of flesh. It's only Spider-Byte who stops him - she (black female tech-heavy Spiderman, vibed with Miles instantly on those principles and others) could have shut down the machine and trapped Miles. But he looked at her, and she saw that he was a terrified child, and she knew that Miguel is incapable of mercy or critical thought, and maybe she wanted to believe in him. So she hesitated, most important savior Time.

Before we move on too far, back to Miguel and Miles. Miguel's fangs secrete a paralyzing venom - probably he was trying to incapacitate Best Vulture using that, although with the bestial transformation of his silhouette perhaps he didn't care if he ripped Vulture's throat out by accident. Regardless, he only seems to use this as the definitive way to End Fights. Miles has a similar ability in his venom blast or whatever he calls it. I swear the word "static" was in there somewhere. The difference is, Miles uses it as a defensive mechanism, not offensive (Armadillo guy aside). He uses it to get out of bad situations and continue the fight, to break down barriers and temporarily stun his opponents so he can break free and recover. We see him preparing to do this at the end of this movie, too.

Again, Miguel needs to view himself as the superior protector of all universes in order to pretend like his mistake is in any way acceptable. Beyond that, he blames Miles for it, so that he does not have to forgive himself/Miles, he can just eliminate the problem and pretend it's all over. Miguel the controller uses his ability as the be-all end-all, whereas Miles uses it as just one method among many in his arsenal.

Now. The only named black Spider who doesn't vibe with Miles is Jess Drew, but that's explicable by the following reasons. First of all, she's pregnant - Miguel destroyed his stolen kids by breaking canon, and neither Peter B nor Jess want to risk their own new families by going against Miguel's canon laws. Secondly, she's a black woman who is basically Miguel's right hand (within the fact that he cannot and will not ever trust anyone else with this "responsibility" he claims for himself), and there's not much to be gained from abandoning that, especially in context of the first point.

You know who does vibe with Miles?

HOBIE

MOTHERFUCKING

BROWN

Hobie fucking loves Miles right from the start. He's only in the Spider-Society because he knows Miguel's insane and his actions and orders are inhumane and all kinds of fucked up. But Hobie's basically alone in that knowledge, as even Gwen still wants to believe that it could be a good thing, and so he's just infiltrating, learning more and stealing shit to recreate Miguel's technology without Miguel's restrictions. And when Miles comes along and starts speaking out against that shit, he loves it. He encourages it. And he uses Miles' distraction to slip off and put his own plan into action.

From the second he meets Miles he's looking out for the kid. Part of that's because he's true punk (incredible to see, especially with him being black and this movie being so commercialized by its marketing/sales teams) but part of it is that he recognizes Miles. Hobie probably also has a static venom ability, since he's the one who tells Miles that it works better using the whole hand (and reminds him, later, while everyone else is telling him to calm down or hang in there and only Hobie is still on his side telling him silently to fight back). It's possible even that since he used his guitar to break the forcefield barrier, and since it is not plugged in to anything but still makes electric guitar noises, that the guitar acts as a sort of amplifier for that power.

He never tells Miles what to think, he just encourages him TO think. And he's always there with his own laconic opinion to point out how fascist Miguel's little Spider Utopia is to anyone not a Spider - and anyone who disagrees with Miguel the Controller. More personally he indirectly asks if Miles has a safe home to go back to, and he STAYS THERE when Miguel's being a dick to a 15-year-old kid.

There's more to recognition than that, though. See, Hobie Brown also escaped the fate of becoming the Prowler. The original Prowler, since inception and for most of the comics' runs, has been a black man named Hobart Brown. Hobie as Spider-Punk is and always has been a subversion of the black male stereotypes that led to the creation of the Prowler (very normal and not racist name there by the way), and without losing any of his Blackness or masculinity or Black masculinity. Hobie and Miles have more in common than any other Spiders, because they've both beaten that expected fate of black men to fall eagerly into violence and gang warfare and criminal careers. And Miguel wants Miles to feel unworthy of that escape - he wants Miles to believe that he does not belong in a chosen betterment; that all he was ever meant for is poverty and wasted talent and endless violence.

But Miles won't let that happen! "I'ma do my own thing," and he's got that confidence in himself now. And Hobie's got his back cause things are finally moving, he's not alone in trying to dismantle Miguel's fucked up utopia with the gears of that great machine beneath grinding up anomalies and black children to keep it all running so flawlessly on the surface. Miguel lives in "Nueva York", he's never had to subvert much, the darkness within him is not that which he keeps at bay via that injection, it is the monstrosity which he lets fester and flourish under the name of "dedication". Miles comes in and disrupts that perfect lie in about ten minutes, he's already boiling and he won't accept a fate he does not want when he's already escaped it once before.

Hobie's been hanging around for some time, making himself appear lazy and carelessly destructive to hide his far greater intentions. As long as Miguel "just can't" with him, he's being underestimated, and as long as that is the case he is free to undermine and plot and replicate as much as possible. That's black intelligence. "Man like Miles!"

Good movie basically

#atsv #spiderman: across the spiderverse #3pac #hahaha #miles morales #spiderman #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #hobie brown #spider punk #aaron davis #the prowler #42 miles #miles g morales #prowler miles #jess drew #words i speak

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astroboots · 9 months

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“‘I want to be with you, and even if you can’t save me in the end, that's okay. I just want to be with you for as long as I can. However long or short of a time that is, I won’t have any regrets as long as I get to spend it with you. I told you, didn’t I? Every me in every universe would say the same, given a choice.’”

Fucking pissing myself from this line /Pos

give us the commentary :>

I screamed with laughter when I read the pissing yourself part.

DVD COMMENTARY ASK GAME

So I am a bit of a sucker for lines that connects to title. Whenever I see it happen in movies, or tv shows, as corny as it is. I start clapping like an excited seal!

When I first named every you every me, it was based on one of my favorite placebo songs that I've loved since I was young. And I have been looking for a way to incorporate the title in the story ever since. When Cielito meets ATSV!Miguel I was screaming when I finally saw my opportunity.

As for her saying it again in the final ending. I was conscious that when we have the scene with ATSV!Miguel Cielito is speaking to that version of him and while our Miguel can of course hear her, we don't see his reaction and in my mind, his reaction is disbelief, and shock and guilt. He's hearing her but he's telling himself all kind of lies to tell himself that she doesn't mean it/doesn't understand what she's saying to justify the decision he's about to make (remove himself from the picture so that she has a shot at a normal life, one where she won't constantly be under the threat of dying).

But when she hears her say it again, to him, staring up at him, he can't escape from the fact that she knows that this is what she wants, that this is a choice she's made, and he has no choice but to accept it.

#DVD COMMENTARY ASK GAME #eyem spoilers #💌 ask

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emma23 · 10 months

Text

Miguel(boss) x Y/n

« Look at me when I’m talking to you. » Miguel spoke with an intimidating tone, grabbing your chin harshly. « You’re fired. Get out of my damn restaurant!! » He finally yelled, taking his fingers off your chin while pointing at the door. Miguel has his restaurant, 5 stars, and is visited by the riches of the rich. You were hired as a chef by him. However, he ended up regretting it all over again.

« Puta madre, you’re testing me. » He chuckled exaggeratedly, covering his mouth.

You can’t move. Your fired, you don’t have a job anymore. How are you am gonna paid the bill !

The restaurant owner took notice of you not leaving. « Listen here, pendeja. Just because I fired you doesn’t mean you get to stay in my expensive establishment. The door is behind you. » Miguel’s tone went from angry to just straight up annoyed, rolling his eyes while crossing his arms.

You do the only thing you can think know, you beg. « Please ! please dont fired me ! I-I need this job ! »

« I already did you pathetic little brat. I’m not gonna change my mind just because you’re whining. If I have to say it one more time, I will call the police on you! » The famous chef rolled his eyes whilst turning away from you, crossing his arms again while going to the kitchen area. He began washing plates.

« I Will do anything !! »

Miguel laughed, but then stopped, looking at you curiously yet still annoyed. « Anything? What exactly are you offering to do? » He raised an eyebrow.

« Everything » You look at the floor to shy to look at his eyes.

Miguel thought for a moment. He knew what he wanted. « Fine. I want you to come to my house after closing hours. » He turned back to you, looking you dead in the eye. « You understand? »

« O-ok » you go rapidly.

Miguel looked at his clock and noticed it was closing hours. « You better not be late! » He spoke in a more demanding tone whilst looking you once more in the eye.

**later when your in front of Miguel house**

Your so scared but you find the courage to knock at his door.

Miguel opened the door a few moments later and looked at you impatiently. « Where were you?! I’ve been waiting for you. »

« Sorry » you look at the floor.

He huffed. « Come inside. It’s damn cold out there. » Miguel sighed and opened the door in it’s entirety for you to enter.

You just follow him.

Miguel closed the door once you had entered and started walking into the living area. « Go sit down in the sofa. » He ordered you, making it seem like your only choice was to listen.

You don’t want problem so you just listen.

Miguel went to the kitchen and started preparing something to eat, which you assumed was for both of you. He came back a few minutes later with two plates. « Eat. » He handed you one and took a seat at the dining area.

You surprise but still you listen to him.

« Once we’re done eating, I want you to show your true self and do exactly what I ask you to do. » Miguel began eating and stared at you, waiting for you to take a bite too.

You try to take a bit of the food.

The food Miguel had prepared was some kind of beef soup with vegetables and some herbs as a garnish. It looked appetizing as he kept eating, still waiting for you to taste the dish. As he chewed, he looked at you curiously.

« This why you make me come to your house ? » you ask.

Miguel sighed and pointed at you with his spoon, nodding at you. « Exactly. » He spoke whilst putting his cutlery to the side and looking you dead in the eye. « I want you to show off your real self. »

« I don’t get it » your kind of lost.

Miguel didn’t want to be more direct with you. « I want you to do something to me. »

« what ? »

Miguel smiled, but then put on a more menacing face, pointing at you once more with his spoon. « You know exactly what I want, you dimwit. The more you keep stalling, the angrier you’re going to make me. »

« T-tell me what you want and-and i will do it »

Miguel took a deep breath before staring at you dead in the eye, putting the spoon to the side again. « Fine. You can start by showing me how flexible your body is. »

« How flexible ? My body is ? »

He sighed. He really didn’t expect you to be such a prude. « Bend over. » Miguel commanded, with an annoyed tone.

You bend over even if your ultra shy but you need your job back.

Miguel smirked, looking at you now whilst placing the plate on the table and beginning to stand up with the chair. He put the chair away. « Very good. How did that feel? » He looked at you with interest. It seems that Miguel’s demands are getting bigger. He was starting to feel the power he had over you.

« It-it feel wrong »

Miguel didn’t get your comment, and didn’t have the patience to let you elaborate since he was already impatient. « Wrong? » He put his hands on his hips, trying to understand what you meant.

« I-I don’t like it but-but i will still do it»

Miguel was satisfied by your response. « Good girl. » Miguel got close to you, bending down a bit. « Tell me how much of a naughty girl you are. Don’t be shy. »

« I m-i m a naughty girl » you sob.

« Louder! And look at me in the eye whilst you do it. » The boss ordered you, putting his head next to yours.

« I M A NAUGHTY GIRL » This time you look at his eyes. In your they tears of shame.

Miguel was satisfied with your response, noticing your eyes were filled with tears and your lips were trembling. « Say it once more. » He smiled, liking the outcome he was getting.

« I M A NAUGHTY GIRL !! »

Miguel began laughing, smiling at you with a smirk once he stopped. « Good job! I knew you’d be an obedient girl. » Miguel stood up straight and looked at you. « Now then, I want you to sit on my lap. » He ordered, pointing at his lap with his extended arm.

You listen and sit on his lap.

Miguel put his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. He looked at you closely and smiled. « What’s your name again, cutie? » He asked you with a smirk.

« Y/n… »

Well, Y/n, your boss is quite satisfied. » Miguel smiled, looking at you seductively. « Come on. Give your boss a kiss, I know you want to. » Miguel had a playful tone, winking at you.

You hesitate but still do it. You give him a chaste one.

Miguel seemed satisfied when you finally gave in. « That’s my good girl. » He let go of your waist. « I think I’ll want to keep you around, so don’t even think of getting fired again or else I’ll do much worse to you. » Miguel warned you, with a more serious tone and look.

« So-so i can keep my job ? »

« Indeed, my dear. I appreciate what you did for me tonight. » Miguel looked at you with a smirk. « Now, why don’t you head back to your house? I still have work to do and some customers who are going to arrive later. »

« O-ok » you start to go ashamed of yourself but with you job back.

Miguel looked at you once you started walking. He smiled and chuckled, satisfied by what he had achieved with you. « I’ve got a feeling she’s gonna become my favorite worker. » Miguel mumbled to himself as he looked at the closed door.

#miguel x you #miguel x y/n #miguel ohera x reader #miguel x reader #miguel o'hara

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doofus-and-dragons · 9 months

Text

Thoughts on Red, White, and Royal Blue(Taking notes helps me retain information so ofc I do it about my media like a goddamn nerd)

Overall thoughts:

I give this movie a 4/10. The actors were incredible and the jokes landed where they were suppose to. I was really excited for the movie, and I probably would have loved it if I hadn't read the book first (I don't regret reading it first. I adore the book, probably going to reread it). For me, the pacing was just extremely distracting. I didn't know where I was at any point in time. By the time I would figure it out, I was somewhere else. I also think that the removal of certain characters (June,Rafael, and Leo), the sugar coating of Zahra, and the microdosing (idk what else to call it) of other characters (Nora, Bea, Percy, and Shaan) really takes allies away from Henry and Alex, along with major plot devices within the main story. I felt like the movie cut out a lot of scenes (Star Wars, historical letters, the Rumors, Henry's date with June, the campaign, Nora in general, Alex's reaction to the leak, and the exposing Richards to name a few) really hurt the integrity of this movie for me. I was super excited going in, but now I'm just kind of bitter.

I did like how Henry and Alex's actors had some (from my pov) really good chemistry. That or they're just really good actors. They are, but like...differently. loved Oscar, loved the charcarization as a whole (other than maybe Bea (she felt kind of bland) and Zarha (she felt sugar coated). As a whole, all the actors (and yes, I do mean all) did an amazing job. Set design was absolutely breath taking. Most of the music was spot on (still salty about "Your Song" being cut out but yknow), and I'm a band kid and a theater kid so music means a lot to me. I loved the little metaphors, like when Alex gave Henry the key to his house (a bold choice, but it worked). I feel like Ellen deserved more of a "Im struggling to find an election balance and a mom balance" arc that Book!Ellen got, but Uma Thurman did a great job with Ellen. She didn't play too hard into the accent, and it was tasteful (much appreciated by the by). Loved Amy (wish we could have seen he do crafts tho...and her dog). LOVED it when they decked Henry out in commoner clothes!

So, yeah. My review of the movie is a 4/10. Here are the notes that better explain my personal opinion. If you enjoyed it, I'm so happy for you/gen.

Notes:

• The lack of June as a character takes away so many plot points and character building opportunities from all of the characters

• The loss of Leo as a character takes away from much of the drama not only within the First Family but also within the debate

• Who decided Miguell as a character???seems like they took that Post reporter from the book and turned his affection to Alex instead, which I guess they had to since the tossed June.

• I love Ellen, Oscar, Zahra, Amy, Pez (why can't they ever call him pez?), Nora, and Shaan.

• The movie is moving really fast. I can hardly keep up with. I'm constantly in a state of "Wait, where am I? Why am I here? This isn't supposed to happen yet is it?"

• I can't explain it, but Henry has very gay

• Where's Rafael? He's like the reason for the climax (lmao)

• Sending him to Texas? But he's not supposed to be there yet!

• I'm so lost that I can't keep up with the movie. I can't even enjoy the sap from the email reading because I'm really confused.

• The acting is really good! The pacing is just off.

• I hate this Miguel guy.

• HENRY IS SUPPOSE TO BE CONFORTING HIM BECAUSE OF THE BETRAYAL

• Not enough Bea

• I am enjoying this 20 Questions scene, very cute yet very sad

• Zarha is suppose to be angrier at him for being awake.

• Henry in the closet will never not be funny to me.

• "...good morning!" -Prince Henry of Wales, 2023

• "And my sister" "awww I didn't know that!" "Yeah she was really happy for us."

• "Tetnhically I'm the spare!" "Not talking to you sir!" So funny!

• I'm assuming Miguel is the leak

• I'm back to being confused. Also, not enough Amy. I need more of her. I need to see her dog Johnathan

• "She happens to be a he....and he happens to be henry..."

• Ellen is the best mom I love her

• I WANTED TO SEE ELLEN'S POWER POINT COME ON AMAZON :(

• Love how he's got a University of Texas Austin hat (it's not UT to me I'm from Tennessee, UT is University of Tennessee)

• Love how they Texas-ified Henry

• Sad we didn't get the kimonos

• So Oscar is Sen. Of Texas??? I thought that was Ellen before elected?

• Haha gays

• Needs more Pez

• Ok, wait, I know where I am! The start of the week of sad!

• Already? It feels like I've been sitting here for like half an hour. I'm not retaining any of this. God the pacing is killing me

• Also they didn't include them Skinny dipping which is honestly tragic

• Sad gay prince hours

• *megamind meme* No bunk beds?

• Bea calling him Hen is the world. That's it.

• WHY AM I ONLY GETTING ONE SCENE WITH SHAAN?

• Alex was suppose to be angrier, making a scene. Shaan needed to almost throw him out. I need more Shaan.

• Eye opening for Henry time ehe

• Did he put his ring on the mantle I didn't catch it.

• He was suppose to have make up time THEN go to the museum I'm lost again

• I can't help falling in love" and not "your song is" a choice

• They didn't bring up Sampson :(

• Wait he was suppose to put the ring on the chain. It was sweet to give him the key tho. I see you "key to my heart" symbolism. I see you and I love you.

• DAVID!!!BABY BOY!!!

• Where's Zarha's anger? Alex's concern? AHA Zarha and Shaan engagement real??? 👀

• Miguel is the leak and I dispise him.

• No meeting with the king? No Catherine? No Phillip getting hot tea spilled on him? Tragic.

• Henry not getting to get a word in is tragic.

• I love Alex's speech it's so heart wrenching

• I need to see zarha's anger- oh Shaan is into it isnt he? Love those two! They are the true heros of this movie.

• "I'll break the sound barrier for you" 🥺😭

• Henry playing Yankie doodle and Alex playing God Save The Queen is wonderful

• "Im white and upperclass so my affection comes on strings"

• Alex fidgeting with Henry's ring 🥺

• Stfu Pip, the fact you're the only one sitting on the side of the king is telling

• Stfu king Mary (he has no name just king so he's king Mary now).

• "Uh-bec-becu-because!!" 🙄

• Bea needs to spill tea on Phillip pls

• We don't get to see Alex's rslley speech? We're already at the election?

• No Zarha/Shaan makeouts? Srsly?

• No Liam? Where did the bikes come from?

• This movie has so many plot holes, it's like driving down a secret highway...

#red white and royal blue

0 notes

cobrakaisb · 3 years

Text

my ex’s best friend

this imagine is based off of my ex’s best friend by machine gun kelly and blackbear, but it doesn’t exactly follow the concept of the song. anyways enjoy besties!

summary: you’re tory’s best friend who used to have a fling with hawk. suddenly the two of you meet again because he’s her boyfriend’s best friend. (warning: swearing, making out and references to having sex)

word count: 1,154 (including the song lyrics)

you know my ex, so that makes it all feel complicated, yeah. it all seems complicated. i read those texts that you sent to yours but i'll never say it, yeah. i’ll never say it.

“come on hawk it’ll be fun,” miguel said, trying to convince his best friend to come. hawk just glared at the boy, causing him to let out a sigh. “look she’s tory’s friend. besides you're looking for a new girlfriend, she’s looking for a boyfriend, this could be a perfect match.” “alright fine i’ll go and meet this chick, but i’m not making any promises,” hawk explained, grabbing his red jacket to leave the house with miguel.

you walked in my life at two am, cause my boy’s new girl is your best friend. act like you don’t see me, we’ll play pretend. your eyes already told me what you never said.

the two arrived in his black jeep to see tory talking with another girl. “miguel!” tory shouted as he exited the car. she ran over to him, pulling him into a kiss. hawk looked over at the other girl sitting there and his eyes widened. out of all the people tory could be friends with, it had to be you, his ex. “y/n come here!” tory called and you warily walked over to the two boys. “this is my boyfriend miguel and his best friend hawk,” tory introduced them. miguel smiled kindly at you and you smiled back, shaking his hand.

“nice to meet you miguel,” you said, completely ignoring hawk, but you didn’t have to say anything. hawk already knew what you were thinking just by looking at him. your eyes were full of regret, and he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t regret letting you go either. the both of you had agreed that it was just going to be a fling, nothing more, but the second hawk felt himself catching feelings, he pulled away. now that you were here in front of him for a second time, he wasn’t planning on pulling away.

now we’re in the back seat of the black car going home when she asked me, “is it wrong if i come up with you?” we’re both drunk on the elevator when i kiss you for the first time since new york city.

it all happened so fast, one moment you were sitting around drinking with tory, miguel and hawk. then the next you and hawk were making out in the back seat of his black jeep. his hands tangled in your hair while your fingers ran up and down his abs. “we can’t do this here,” you mumbled as he placed kisses along your jaw. “then come back to my place, unless that’s too weird,” he mumbled, pulling away from you. you bit your lip, debating on whether or not it was a smart choice for you to go back to his place with him. “alright,” you finally answered, pulling his lips back down to yours.

i swear to god, i never fall in love. then you showed up and i can't get enough of it. i swear to god, i never fall in love. i never fall in love but i can’t get enough of it.

you had no idea what you were doing running around with hawk. you knew that he wasn’t going to fall in love with you, it’s not something that he did anymore, well not since moon anyways. yet, here the two of you were, making out in some secluded corner of golf n’ stuff where tory and miguel wanted to hang out. “we really have to stop,” you said once the two of you broke apart. “then let’s stop,” hawk replied, removing his hands from your waist. you quickly held them in place, “but i can’t get enough of you,” you continued, placing a kiss on his jaw.

first off im not sorry, i want to apologize to nobody. you play like im invisible, girl don’t act like you ain’t saw me.

“if you want to have a thing you could at least acknowledge me in public,” you huffed, grabbing a soda from the drink cooler. “i thought you wanted to stop,” hawk replied, a teasing smirk on his face. you rolled your eyes at him because the both of you knew that you hadn’t meant it. you turned to walk away, but hawk grabbed your arm. “look, last year was a mess, and i how acted was beyond me,” he explained. “but the past still revolves me, hawk. just know that if you text me, i ain’t responding,” you said, moving to walk away. “but now shit’s changed, y/n,” he continued trying to persuade you. “yeah, it has. so let’s just go our separate ways,” you answered, walking away from him.

but look at this damage you did to me. i still want nothing to do between you and me. please don't say nothing at all sounds so true to me, we don’t got nothing to say.

“i thought you wanted to go out separate ways,” hawk teased, as you pulled his shirt off. you scoffed, “shut up and kiss me.” he smirked at you before pulling you into a heated kiss. “i really don’t want anything to do with you,” you said when you separated. “but?” he prompted, only for you to stay quiet. “alright then,” he answered, before placing his lips back on yours in a passionate kiss.

i swear to god, i never fall in love. then you showed up and i can't get enough of it. i swear to god, i never fall in love. i never fall in love but i can’t get enough of it.

“y/n!” hawk called you over to him. “what?” you asked when he approached you. “alright don’t give me an attitude, princess,” he replied, causing you to roll your eyes. “anyways,” he started, his tone becoming serious. “i want to give us a try,” he continued. you raised your eyebrows at him, uncertainty written all over your face. “are you serious?” you asked cautiously. hawk grabbed your hands, intertwining your fingers, “one hundred percent,” he answered. you smiled brightly at him, “okay let’s do it,” you answered.

you know my ex, so that makes it all feel complicated, yeah. it all seems complicated. i read those texts that you sent to yours but i'll never say it, yeah. i’ll never say it.

“so you and y/n, huh?” miguel asked hawk the next day at karate practice. “yeah man. we’re official,” he answered. “you’re dating her?” tory asked, appalled at this new information that she was receiving. “yeah tory. so what if she's my ex, and your best friend?” hawk questioned. “that makes things kinda complicated,” aisha butted in. “oh well,” hawk said, shrugging her worries off, a small smile on his face at the thought of you.

#cobra kai #cobra kai imagine #cobra kai x reader #hawk cobra kai #hawk imagine #hawk x reader #eli moskowitz #eli moskowitz x reader #eli moskowitz imagine #cobrakaisb writing

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itsjustmyfantasyroom · 3 years

Text

Paper Surprise part 2

Follow on from: Paper Surprise

Just want Miguel to have a happy ending cause I love him. Thank you @beccabarba for reading over it to see if it was ok before I posted it.

Warnings: Smut.

WC: 2511.

Enjoy x

You were walking around the gallery doing some final touches on the multiple art works hanging around the walls while the catering staff set up the food and drinks. You made sure all the lights over each piece of work was on, there was no dust on them and they were hanging straight. You had just walked into the break room to put on your heeled boots when you heard the bell of the front door,

“Sorry we’re closed” You walked out of the room pushing your skirt down over your stockings and you stopped in your tracks freezing. You pulled your glasses off your face to make sure you weren’t seeing things,

“Y/N” His voice sent a shiver down your spine just like the night on the beach just a couple of years ago. You stood there raising an eye brow at him and crossing your arms in front of yourself leaning into one hip “I was hoping you still worked here”

“What are you doing here Marcus? Wait no, I mean Miguel”

Miguel walked over to you resting his hand on your elbow. You didn’t shy away from his touch and a smile pulled to his face. You looked down at his long fingers resting over your clothed elbow before your eyes scanned up his arm, up to his neck, over his bearded face and locking eyes with him,

“I want to talk to you. That night at the club. You haven’t left my mind” he sighed.

“But you lied to me” you snapped back.

“And I’ am sorry I did, but I didn’t have a choice, I thought if I changed my name- I was naïve, it’s the biggest club in Cabo it was going to catch up with me”

You snorted and nodded your head at him.

“The opening is in 20 minute’s”

“Meet me after? Please?” Miguel titled his head looking down at you “The café on the next block over- midnight?”

You looked up into the sea of brown, your knees trembling threatening to give way and you instantly felt comfortable despite knowing about him.

“Ok” your voice was horse till you cleared it and you nodded.

Miguel lent forward, his warm lips landing on your boiling hot cheek. You sighed into them, your eyes closing for a brief moment before he pulled away giving you a quick wink and turning on his heels to walk out the door. You stood there frozen watching as he walked out, getting into a black SVU and it driving off.

Before the opening you had messaged Alice letting her know what had happened and giving her the details of the meet up, just to be on the safe side. You flicked the gallery lights off at 11.45, walking out and locking the door, a big smile planted on your face at how successful the show was and how pleased your boss was that you had managed to secure buyers for every piece, all deposits paid in cash within a couple of hours.

As you made the short walk to the café, you stopped at the store front next to it, looking at your reflection. You fixed your white button down in your skirt and you hooked you hair behind your ears. You opened your bag pulling out your gloss, quickly reapplying some and walked to the door opening it and walking in.

Your eyes scanned the dim, somewhat crowded room, when you found Miguel sitting in the back corner looking directly at you. You weaved your way through the tables and he stood up as you got him, walking around the table to greet you. Miguel lent over kissing your cheek and then he moved the chair out for you to sit down and he sat down across from you. You both put in your orders and then sat back in your chair looking at Miguel leaning on the table,

“How was the opening?”

“Great. Sold all the pieces” you smiled at him.

“Congratulations. Thank you for meeting me Y/N”

“No worries. What did you want to talk about?”

Miguel took a deep breath licking his lips “I want to explain why I gave you a different name. I want you to see me for me, not for anything you have read or heard”

You sat there and listened on as Miguel explained everything to you. About his family, about him, about the bad things he done without going into detail, about his marriage, why he left Santo Padre and what happened in the last two years.

“Ok” you took a deep breath sitting up in your chair leaning on the table “That’s a lot to take in. You have a very colourful past Mr Galindo”

“I do, I have a lot of regrets. I didn’t want to add you to the list Y/N. That night- it felt amazing to be wanted again, for me”

“I’ am not going to lie, you haven’t left my mind since then. Even after everything I read. But what are you doing now?”

“Helping out with club in the Height’s, hopefully opening another one and running that”

You nodded and fell silent for a moment, sitting back in your chair, “Legit business?” you said out loud and Miguel nodded back.

“For the first time in my life. Y/N, I can understand if you don’t want anything to do with me after lying to you and you hearing all that. It’s a lot and I did a lot of things I’ am not proud of and still haunt me. But I didn’t want to lie to you again. I didn’t want to hide anything if you do decide to give me a chance and if you don’t I’ll never disturb you again, but I’ll never forget you”

“Are you really done with that life?” Miguel nodded back.

“Sleep on it” Miguel grabbed your hand. "I’ll be at the club tomorrow night covering a private function. If you show up, that’s your answer”

“And if I don’t?”

“Then that’s your answer” Miguel squeezed your hand.

***

You walked into the club when most people should be sleeping. You had a talk with Alice and she told you to go for it,

“Y/N, it’s been two years! He’s done more than enough to prove himself and he has been honest with you, what more do you need?”

You walked into the overly loud, overly crowded room getting up on your tippy toes to try and see over the sea of heads looking for the private room. You noticed the ‘Private Function’ sign and started to make your way through the crowd. You made it to the bar standing in line when you felt an arm come around your waist and a pair of lips at your ear,

“Guess I have my answer” You smiled wide and turned, coming face to face with Miguel “See those stairs over there” Miguel nodded towards the side of the room “Go up and wait for me”

“Ok” you nodded and smiled.

You stood up in the office space looking out the big roof to floor window, looking down at the dancing crowd, the strobe lights flashing and bouncing off the walls and the bar que 20 people long. You saw Miguel walk out of the private room and to the bar saying something to the bar tender, who hurried off and he looked up at you giving you a wink before the bar tender was back handing him a bottle and two glasses and he started to walk across the dance floor.

You were tapping your foot to the beat of the music when Miguel walked in through the door closing it behind him and walking to the desk sitting the bottle of wine and the glasses on it. He was behind you in a flash, his arms going to wrap around your waist pulling you back into him. You bit your bottom lip as he kissed up your bare shoulder, the feeling of his beard brushing on your skin making you giggle and squirm against him,

“You came” Miguel purred into your ear “I’ am glad”

You turned your head, looking out of the corner of your eye at him, a grin pulling to your face.

“I’ am glad I did too”

You pushed back into him and a growl escaped him, pushing his crotch into you. You wriggled your hips over his hardening cock and his arms around you tightened.

“I promise you, Y/N” one of his hands ran up to cup your breast over your shirt and the other ran down to your thigh toying with the hem of your skirt “I will be completely honest with you”

You moaned nodding your head. Miguel’s hand slid up your skirt, up the inside of your thigh.

“And” you gasped when his finger slipped into your panties “If your past comes back to bite you, you need to tell me. Oh Miguel” you groaned when two fingers slipped into your warm wet core and he started to pull you back from the window backing you both towards the desk.

“I promise” he whispered “But for now, it’s been two years” His thumb connected with your clit and you groaned, your knees trembling as his fingers started to move in and out of you fast “I know this is going to be as good as I remember”

The pit in your stomach was filled with knots and your skin caught on fire as the knots snapped, your breathless moans bounced off the walls and your knees threatened to give way as you came hard on his fingers.

“Good girl” Miguel grunted into your ear thrusting his hard cock into you, pulling his hand out of your panties bringing his fingers up to your lips, while his other hand slid up your shirt, his hand rested on your belly button.

You grabbed his wrist parting your lips and sinking his long fingers into your mouth, running your tongue around them, pulling them out with a pop and Miguel groaned in your ear. Miguel pulled his hand from out of your shirt and stepped back, reaching into his pocket pulling out a foil wrapper. You turned, reaching over to undo his belt buckle, pants button and unzipped the zipper pushing them down to land at his feet. Your eyes locked with his lust filled ones as you hooked your pointer fingers into the waist of his boxers, pulling them down and letting them slide down to meet his pants. You ran your hands up the tops of his thighs, one of your hands resting on his hip and the other wrapping around him, stroking him lazily.

Miguel surged forward, his lips finding yours, the kiss intense and deep straight off. Miguel’s free hand run up your arm, up over your shoulder, over your neck and up into your hair, balling his hand into a fist pushing your head into him more. His pre cum covered your hand and he pulled back taking your bottom lip between his two, stretching it out and then letting it go for it to snap back into place.

His hand came out of your hair and he ripped the foil packet with his teeth, throwing the wrapper on the floor and rolling it one. You licked your lips watching his long fingers moving over him as he rolled on the condom. Before you knew it, Miguel grabbed your hips spinning you around and bent you over the table, pushing the middle of your back forward so your chest was resting flat on the cold metal desk. You felt his fingers at the hem of your skirt again pulling your skirt up over your hips and his fingers traced down over the lace edge of your cheeky cut panties,

“See you came ready for me, dirty girl” Miguel’s fingers grabbed the waist of the panties and pulled them down letting them slide down to your ankles.

“Miguel’s dirty girl” you purred, pushing your hips back into him.

A smirk came to his face and both of Miguel’s hands gripped your hips and you felt the head of his cock starting to push up into you, the stretch an amazing burn. Miguel saw your mouth drop open and he thrusted up the rest of the way till he bottomed out. He didn’t give you much time to adjust to him before he was slamming into you hard, deep and fast, hitting the right spot every time. You lifted your chest up off the table, resting on your elbows, pushing back into him, his balls smacking into you.

You felt the familiar sensation starting to wash over you and Miguel started to feel your walls clamp around him. One of his hands started to run up under your shirt running up over your back and his other snaked around to your clit rubbing it with his pointer finger,

“Fu-Miguel” you panted out loud.

Miguel thrusted his hips up into you hard, his movements getting sloppy, his own release not far behind. You pushed back into him hard your hands balling into fists on the desk, chanting his name and your eyes slamming shut tight while your orgasm raged through you. Miguel trusted up, his balls tensing and he fell forward, his hands landing on the desk as he spilled his seed deep inside you, your name and Spanish words pouring out of his mouth.

Miguel lent over you, kissing your shoulder up to the base of your neck before pushing up off the table, pulling out of you and moving away to clean himself up. You finally caught your breath pushing yourself up off the table, bending down to pull up your panties and push down your skirt. You used the back of your pointer fingers to wipe away smudged mascara. You turned around searching for Miguel and he looked over at you with a smile on his face as he did up his belt buckle walking over to you.

When Miguel got to you he cupped both your cheeks, his lips meeting yours kissing you sweetly and then peppering your face with kisses wrapping his arms around your shoulders pulling you into him. You wrapped your arms around him, you both melting into each other, Miguel’s head resting on top of yours. You both staying like that for a long moment.

After a while you felt Miguel reach up taking your chin between his thumb and pointer finger, tipping your head back,

“Thank you”

You frowned looking up into his face and then raised an eye brow,

“For?”

“For being my second chance” Miguel brushed his nose over yours “I promise Y/N, I have learnt from my mistakes”

You pulled your chin away from his fingers and reached up to cup his cheeks. You ran your thumbs over his cheeks and he smiled down at you

“Hey, I just want you to be you. Everything is in the past. New York, New Miguel.”

Tags: @lovebishoplosamiguelgalindo @withmyteeth @alwaysachorusgirl @amorestevens

#miguel galindo #miguel galindo x reader #miguel galindo smut #miguel galindo x you #mayans mc #mayans fanfic #maynas #mayans smut #mayansmc

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pengychan · 4 years

Text

[Coco] Nuestra Iglesia, Pt 19

Title: Nuestra Iglesia Summary: Fake Priest AU. In the midst of the Mexican Revolution, Santa Cecilia is still a relatively safe place; all a young orphan named Miguel has to worry about is how to get novices Héctor and Imelda to switch their religious vows for wedding vows before it’s too late. He’s not having much success until he finds an unlikely ally in their new parish priest, who just arrived from out of town. Fine, so Padre Ernesto is a really odd priest. He’s probably not even a real priest, and the army-issued pistol he carries is more than slightly worrying. But he agrees that Héctor and Imelda would be wasted on religious life, and Miguel will take all the help he can get. It’s either the best idea he’s ever had, or the worst. Characters: Miguel Rivera, Ernesto de la Cruz, Héctor Rivera, Imelda Rivera, Chicharrón, Óscar and Felipe Rivera, OCs. Imector. Rating: T

[All chapters up are tagged as ‘fake priest au’ on my blog.]

A/N: Alternate title: “Everyoner’s Mad”. Art in the chapter is by @swanpit and @lunaescribe!

***

Breaking into the shed was laughably easy, but then again it was to be expected, considering that Ernesto happened to have the spare key. Come to think of it, he wasn’t even breaking in: he was allowed to go there whenever he wanted. He just never had a reason to - until now.

The packs of rat poison were exactly where Gustavo had mentioned they would be, right by the barrels of mass wine. Not a wise choice, but Ernesto found some irony in that as he took some of the tightly packed poison and quickly slipped in his pocket. After all, it would find its way in a beverage to take out a rat.

A large rat, walking on two legs.

It’s on his head, he made his choice and left me none.

It was what he’d been repeating himself throughout the evening, and it still left a bitter taste in his mouth. A thought tried to surface again - maybe there was another way, he could tell the others and they’d help him, Imelda had said they would help him - but he chased it away. Imelda may have said they would help him, but it was no guarantee that would actually happen. There was no guarantee they could help him.

But God helps those who help themselves, dead men tell no tales, if you want a job well done you do it yourself and so forth. Ernesto knew what he had to do. He had done it before.

Surely, slipping poison in a drink would be as easy as pulling a trigger. Maybe it wouldn’t be as instantaneous as a gunshot to the head, but he hoped it would be quick - or that it would make him pass out first. John Johnson was a complete and utter idiot who’d signed his own death sentence by refusing to listen to him, but Ernesto found he didn’t want him to suffer.

“I… didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“Heh. Takes more than that to hurt me, you’ll need to try harder.”

“What-- dear Lord, no. I have no desire to.”

He hadn’t seen his face as he spoke then - it was just voices in the dark, warmth and touch - and ah, the memory stung. He forced himself to chase it out of his mind, because it did him no good to keep thinking of… of that. It was over, his life depended on silencing the gringo and he only had three days to do it. He couldn’t allow himself to hesitate when the moment came.

Todo modo.

Ernesto de la Cruz stepped out of the shed, locked the door again and walked back under the faint moonlight, the pack of poison heavy in his pocket.

***

Ah, finally, he was leaving.

Gustavo had been more than a little taken aback to see Padre Ernesto entering the shed, and definitely rather worried he would open the crates with the weapons in it - he hadn’t hidden them as well as he should, he’d been busier than an abuela with six unruly grandchildren and only one chancla - but thank God, he was out again quickly enough. He’d probably just taken some wine, it was hard to tell from that distance in the dark.

Gustavo watched Padre Ernesto until he was out of sight, and finally went to the shed. Keeping everything in one place for long was unwise, so it was time to write out instructions to have them scattered across several hiding spots, to be later collected by José and sent up north. Last Gustavo had heard, there were a couple of battalions heading down towards them, but they were being slowed down by resistance.

He could only hope they wouldn’t stop in Santa Cecilia of all places.

***

“Brother Hector.”

“Eek!”

Padre Ju-- Father John had spoken quietly, but so suddenly and with so much authority that the mere sound in the narrow corridor leading out of the sleeping quarters had made Héctor nearly jump out of his skin. He turned, trying to smile and praying he would ignore his rather undignified shriek. “Father John! Good… morn… ing?” Héctor’s voice faded a little when he saw the gringo’s face. He looked… bad, no way around it. Somehow even paler than usual, eyes reddened, the bags beneath them even darker. He almost asked if he was sick, but Father John didn’t give him time to speak again. “I think it’s about time we have a word,” he said

His voice was cold in a way it hadn’t been in… at least a month. He’d loosened up a lot in the past several weeks - what made him loosen up was something Héctor was very careful not to speculate about, though he liked to think part the reason was that the village had grown on him - but now… ay, he was looking at the old Padre Culo Blanco. He hadn’t especially missed him.

“Er… of course. What is it?”

“It is my understanding that you have desires for a woman.”

Héctor couldn’t see his own face, but if the sudden sense of heat was anything to go by, he was quickly turning an interesting shade of purple. “Uh-- I, well, I--”

“I understand you’re no longer inclined to take the vows in favor of a marital union. I certainly do hope that is the case, as it’d be below you not to make… whoever this is an honest woman.”

“W-well…” Héctor stammered, faintly wondering if he’d been that obvious and how bad a heart attack he would have if he knew the woman in question was also a novice planning to forfeit any vows. “I have been, uh, questioning my calling--”

“I understand. But that being the case, I believe you should make your position clear to the Holy Church,” Father John cut him off. “Remaining a novice while you have no intention to take the vows, letting the Church clothe and feed you, is not becoming a God-fearing man.”

“What! Wait, no, that’s-- that’s not what this is about!” Héctor protested. Anger, annoyance, something much too close to panic swelled in his chest; who knew he could feel all three things at once with such intensity. Could have lived a happy life without ever knowing.

“No?” The gringo’s voice was about as condescending as it could get.

Jesus, what was the deal with him all of a sudden? “No,” Héctor said, trying with some effort to stay calm. A lot of effort, really, but Imelda’s voice ringing in the back of his mind helped him focus on something other than a sudden desire to smack the gringo in the face.

Outside the parish, we could do next to nothing of use. They need us where we are.

They hadn’t been doing an awful lot lately, because things had been quiet - hopefully it was not the calm before the storm - but they were able to store weapons and supplies in and around the church to give out as needed. “I have not-- reached a decision yet,” he said in the end. “I’m thinking it over - the Church is the only family I have known. I wouldn’t want to cut myself off my family unless I am certain it is the right path, would I?”

All right, knowing what he did about the gringo’s past, that was a low blow and he almost regretted it when his expression wavered a moment. Then the moment was gone, and he clenched his jaw. “Very well. But I expect you to make your choice sooner rather than later. This village is full to the brim of sinners and I see now I’ve been too permissive - God made it plain to me,” he snapped, and left with quick steps, leaving Héctor to wonder what on Earth was that for.

***

Juan did not show up for breakfast.

His food remained untouched and growing cold, as did the cup of coffee in which Ernesto had thrown a generous dose of what was definitely not sugar just moments before Héctor walked in. It took Ernesto an enormous effort to eat his own breakfast like nothing was wrong, despite the fact his stomach was all knotted up. There was an ache in his chest, too, but-- I didn’t want to do this, he made me, it’s on him -- he was doing his very best to ignore it. He made small talk, nodded along whatever Héctor was saying without actually listening to a word, kept an eye on the door.

“... Anyway, isn’t the gringo having breakfast today?”

“Huh?” Ernesto blinked, finally turning his full attention to Héctor, who glanced at the door to make sure Juan wasn’t standing in the doorway.

“I met him earlier this morning and believe me, he was the crabbiest I have ever seen him, which says… a lot. Any idea what crawled up his ass and died?” Héctor muttered Ernesto almost quipped ‘I did’, but managed to hold back.

One part of the sentence was true, all right, but he refused to be the one to die.

“No idea,” he finally said. Must have been an especially awful encounter for Héctor to talk that way - he felt bad enough for Juan to be respectful even when most wanted to kick his teeth in - but at least he had not revealed what he knew yet, or else Héctor would have mentioned it.

He’s the kind who keeps his word. Three days. I have little less than three days.

“He said something on how God told him the village is full of sinners or whatever,” Héctor was saying. “I think he’s gone loco.”

“Maybe he dreamed it up,” Ernesto muttered. “He thinks himself saintly enough for prophetic dreams, clearly. Or just remembered he’s supposedly on a mission to save everyone’s soul.”

A scoff. “Ah, so he’s being a pain because God came to him in a dream telling him to,” Héctor laughed. “Well, no point in letting perfectly good food go to waste, no?” he added, sounding just a tad vindictive, reaching to take John’s dish and pulling it in front of him. “Want the egg, or...?”

Ernesto, who suspected he’d vomit if he tried to force himself to eat another bite, shook his head. “All yours,” he muttered, looking at the door. No, Juan was not coming for breakfast, and would not drink that coffee. He should be disappointed, he supposed, a tad more desperate as hours ticked by, but there was a sense of relief he hated to acknowledge.

Maybe it’s for the best because Héctor is here, he told himself. I don’t even know how powerful or fast-acting that poison is or what the dose should be.

Yes, that must be the reason for the relief. If he died before a witness, there’d be questions. And he didn’t want questions, no señor. The idea of poisoning him right there had been stupid, hardly a plan at all. It was for the best that Juan hadn’t showed up, Ernesto decided. He would need to find another moment--

“You want the coffee, or can I have it?”

Ernesto waved a hand. “All yours,” he muttered, still deep in thought. Maybe if he could convince him to drink something with him before they all went to sleep, with some luck he could get him in his bed and the next day everyone would think his heart gave in on his sleep.

Of course, he doubted Juan would want to drink in his company like Héctor would, but if he could talk him into it--

-- Wait. What had Héctor just said?

Ernesto’s head snapped up, and he turned so fast his neck almost hurt. Héctor was inhaling the scent of coffee, eyes closed in bliss, before he brought the cup to his lips and… and...

“Gah!”

“Agh!” Héctor let out a startled cry when Ernesto’s hand smacked his own, causing the cup to fly off his grip and shatter on the floor, splattering coffee everywhere. “What…?” He stared at it for a moment, stunned, then turned to Ernesto with a genuinely worried expression. “... Did you and the gringo have peyote for dinner last night?”

Ernesto laughed, just a tad unhinged. “Hah! No, all’s fine - hahaha! Sorry, amigo. Just suddenly decided I wanted the coffee. Only looks like no one is having it now! Clumsy as always, huh?”

“You have never been clums--”

“You don’t mind cleaning up, do you?”

“You broke it, you clean--”

“Muchas gracias, amigo!”

“Hey!” Héctor tried to protest, but Ernesto didn’t listen. He was out the next minute, walking as fast as he could without running, blood rushing in his ears and heart thundering in his chest. Christ, that was close. How the hell would he have explained that?

I must get to him alone. Put this in his drink with no one else in the room. I can’t take risks.

He still had poison on him - enough to kill a man, he estimated. He would try again that evening, in the unlikely case Juan would be willing to accept a drink with him, maybe under the pretense of talking things out or asking for forgiveness or guidance or whatever. And if he wouldn’t, Ernesto would have to resort to less pleasant methods. He may no longer have his pistol - God knew what Imelda had done with it, and certainly she was not likely to return it if asked nicely - but at that point he would still have two days left.

A lot of accidents can happen in two days.

***

Unload. Load. Aim. Unload. Load. Aim.

Of course Imelda knew she was missing a passage there - she hadn’t cocked the hammer - but obviously she couldn’t do that now; last thing she needed was for a gunshot to ring out and reveal to everyone that she had a pistol hidden away in her room.

An army-issued pistol she was definitely not meant to have.

She’d debated to herself what to do with it for a while, ever since finding it in Ernesto’s room and getting the truth out of him. She had thought of giving it to the Revolutionaries, leaving it among the weapons they would keep safe in the basement until the instruction came to leave the door open to let the men collect it at night - but soon enough, she’d realized it was a risk.

How could she explain, if an explanation was demanded, the presence of an army-issued pistol among the supplies? She had no intention to lie, but she could think of no way to explain it away other than the truth. And that was a secret she had promised to protect; Imelda was not in the habit of going back on her word.

In the end she’d kept it, and neither Sofía nor Héctor seemed to remember its existence, as they hadn’t brought it up. Ernesto probably did remember, but knew better than asking.

It was her pistol, now, and while she was never taught to fire a weapon she took it upon herself to familiarize herself with it, keep it in working order, and learn how to aim the best she could.

Just in case.

***

The sun had long since set when John returned to the parish.

He was hungry, having eaten nothing since lunch the previous day, but it did not matter: some hunger was the least he deserved as punishment for soiling his soul as he had. That, and he couldn’t bear to face that… that man again. So he had spent the day wandering across the countryside surrounding Santa Cecilia, smoking and praying and then smoking again.

But surely, he thought as he picked up the oil lamp at the entrance and made his way into the parish and towards the small kitchen where the meals were made - oh, the hunger - that… that beast had left, he must have. Surely he’d want to put as much distance as possible between himself and Santa Cecilia before John exposed him for the fraudster he was.

Surely he’d seen the last of him. The thought was part relief, part a stab of something in his stomach he was very quick to blame on hunger. It was for the best, he told himself; he’d never have to face that man again, and he would be spared the hangman’s knot, if he was careful enough. Despite everything, John had no desire to see him hang. He was loath to actually speak the words that would condemn him - and if he just left… then he may never have to.

Ah, but my sentence will never end, will it? I’ll pay for this for the rest of my earthly existence, and perhaps beyond.

Taken as he was by his grim thoughts, John didn’t realize there was light filtering beneath the door of the kitchen until after he opened it to find himself staring at that man sitting at the kitchen table, alone, an oil lamp on the table along with two glasses full of wine.

“Juan!” he exclaimed, standing up. He had the audacity to smile at him, that vile, venomous viper. “Here you are! I was starting to worry--”

John slammed the door shut.

“Hey! You almost hit my face!” his voice came from the other side, followed by a sigh. “All right. Never mind,” he muttered, and tried to open the door. “Listen, I just want--”

“Don’t you come out!” John snapped, throwing all his weight against the door. The mere idea of finding himself alone with him once again, at night, terrified him more than the tales of devils and shapeshifting monsters his nanny would tell him as a child. “You should be gone!”

“Juan, por favor, I wanted to talk--”

“Save your breath! Every word that leaves your mouth is a lie and I will hear no more of it!” John snapped, his voice frantic despite his efforts to keep it low, so that Brother Hector would not awaken, would not come, would not ask. “And-- and my name is John,” he added, trying to sound indignant at the butchering of his name. It only came out a pitiful whine.

“Listen, I am sorry. I want to make amends. Come in - let’s have a drink and--”

John squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head. “If you wish to make amends,” he choked out, “leave this place before sunrise. Have you not harmed their souls - and mine - quite enough?”

“I-- this is not-- I didn’t mean--”

“I will expose you,” John cut him off, stepping back from the door. He didn’t want to, but he could yet threaten to. “It is what you deserve and no lie you utter can change that. All you can choose is where you will be in two days’ time. I am giving you a head start, and you’d do well not to keep wasting it. If the next thing you do is not getting out of this village, then… then…”

If your next step is not towards that door, his father had told him so long ago, God help us both.

John opened his eyes, his expression stony. “Then may God help you, because I shan’t,” he said, and walked away from the door towards his room with quick steps, a hand over his mouth.

***

That… hadn’t gone as planned.

Ernesto threw the poisoned wine out of the window and put the glass aside with a long sigh. For a moment he’d been tempted to go after Juan, try to insist he accept that drink, but he knew there would be no point: the gringo’s mind was made up, and no amount of smooth talking would change it. Silencing him was the only option, but of course good old Juan was making that more difficult than it had to be, too. Ernesto groaned, leaning against the wall and rubbing his face, adamantly ignoring the part of him that was, even now, relieved.

… Well, of course having a dead body to deal with was not pleasant, no wonder he didn’t precisely love the idea, but he really shouldn’t be relieved. It would be the lesser evil, and he would have to take it. He’d do anything to survive, to be able to remain safely in Santa Cecilia until the end of that damned war.

Whatever it takes. If only I still had my pistol.

He still had some rat poison left, but I saw no point in even trying to put it in some other glass: it was clear the gringo was not going to have a drink with him, after all. He would have to take him by surprise, someplace with no witnesses, and end it quickly with whatever he had at hand.

He’d wait for the right moment to act, and seize it. He’d make it quick, and then… who’d accuse him, once Padre Juan’s body was found dead after going out on one of his nature walks? People may be lurking at the outskirts of Santa Cecilia - outsiders, bandits, revolutionaries - and Americans were… not very well-liked.

The golden crucifix, he always has it around his neck. If I take it, everyone will think it was robbery. No one will know. Who would suspect me?

It wasn’t how Ernesto had wanted to go about it, but once again… Juan had left him no choice. Unlike Alberto, who had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time, the stupid gringo had voluntarily signed his own death warrant. He’d execute it, that was all, and perhaps it would sting, or disturb his sleep for a time… but it would pass. It had to pass. Ernesto pushed aside all doubt, picked up the wine glass without poison in it, and emptied it in two long gulps.

***

In the darkness and silence of his room, Father John Johnson knelt and prayed.

He prayed for God to forgive his weakness, his sins. He prayed he may never have to see that man’s face again, that he may awaken the next morning and be told he had simply vanished without a word. He could keep his own lips sealed, then, and focus on his mission once again - teaching the locals true Catholicism, save their souls for the insidious paganism infiltrating God’s church. He’d become lax, he saw it now, too indulgent, and should have never faltered. He’d traded the salvation of their souls for a few smiles and pats on the back - how could he?

He prayed for forgiveness. He prayed his work would be enough to wash the stain off his soul. He prayed for strength, for resolve - for never having to see him hang. He would never be pure again but ah, God, he wanted no part in a man’s death.

His words had been such comfort. His touch had warmed him. He’d wanted to believe him when he’d said his desires did not make him a monster - but look where it got him. He’d known the truth of his sin in his heart, and chosen to ignore it for a seductive lie.

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

As the candle in his room grew smaller, and the sky brightened in the east, John kept his eyes shut, remained kneeling, and kept praying for both of their souls.

***

“Run this by me again, you thought it was Imelda leaving the notes?”

“Yes! I mean, it seemed to make sense…”

“And she thought it was you?”

“Well, yes…”

“Why?”

Ah, now that was something Héctor shouldn’t mention. He had promised not to go around telling about the meeting in the basement with the revolutionaries, and while he knew Cheech could be trusted… well, he’d still given his word. “Just… reasons.”

“Hah!” Chicharrón guffawed, wiping the sweat off his forehead. Why was he even sweating while it had been Héctor to move the crates from the hiding place written in the most recent note into the usual empty grave, ready to be taken by the resistance, was a whole other mystery Héctor didn’t focus too much on. “You’re just head over the eels and see each other everywhere, that’s what happened,” Cheech muttered, pulling out the note in question from his pocket. “Looks nothing like her handwriting. Or yours.”

“Well, it would make sense for the person writing to alter it,” Héctor protested. “And also, you’re supposed to destroy that note after reading it.”

Cheech shrugged. “Right, right. Juanita!” he called out, letting the note fall on the ground. The rooster appeared seemingly out of nowhere, as though summoned, and threw himself at the note to tear it to shreds. “There. Done. Now come drink something, all this work always makes me thirsty.”

“... You’ve done absolutely nothing.”

“I gave directions. What, you’d have an old man with a peg leg do heavy work?”

“Well, it sounds bad if you put it that way, but--”

“Then shut up and come drink something before I change my-- huh. Is that Miguel?”

It was Miguel, climbing over the low stone wall around the cemetery and then running to them like he had the devil on his heels. “Héctor! Cheech!” he exclaimed, grabbing Héctor’s cassock. “Can I hide here? Please please please please?”

Federales, was the first thing Héctor thought, and his blood ran cold. Had they come at last, to take men and boys for their cause, to take the food and medical supplies, to drink all there was to drink do… only God knew what to the women?

“What happened?” Héctor asked, crouching down and grabbing Miguel’s shoulders. “Are you all right? Are the others all right? Is it the army?”

Miguel shook his head. “No, no, no army! Worse! Father John has gone loco!”

Héctor blinked. Chicharrón scoffed. “Nothing new under the sun,” he muttered, while Héctor frowned, thinking back of what… odd confrontation the previous morning.

“What did he do?”

“Well, we were in class - learning stuff, like normal, and he just burst in and began telling everyone they were doing everything wrong,” Miguel explained, turning to glance back towards the orphanage over his shoulder. Dante was clambering over the wall, too, trying to follow him into the cemetery. “He looked bad, his eyes were all pink and he told us to speak in Latin, and we couldn’t, and he got so mad! He went and told Imelda they were setting us up to lose our souls to the Devil, and that we should strive to be better than our savage ancestors, and then she almost hit him with a chair when he turned, but Sofía held her back…”

“A shame, that,” Cheech muttered.

Héctor’s frown deepened. “He was worse than usual yesterday morning - he was raving about the sins of the village. I haven’t seen him since,” he muttered. He’d thought maybe he’d simply been cranky after a bad night’s sleep, but it seemed he’d only gotten worse. What was happening? He’d been getting… better, more bearable, and now all of a sudden--

“Well, I haven’t seen him in almost a month,” Cheech retorted. “Thank God for that.”

“He’s probably not seeking you out because you have a murderous rooster and are a blasphemous short-tempered cabrón-- agh, sorry, Miguel, cover your-- wait, too late, I said it. Uuugh.”

As Miguel let out a chuckle, Cheech just shrugged. “And that’s how I like it. Clearly it pays to be a blasphemous short-tempered cab--”

“Not in front of the kid!”

“Right, right. Well, muchacho, you can hide here all you want. The gringo will grow tired, sooner or later. He had better. If he keeps this up, it’s only a matter of time before someone snaps and bashes his skull in,” he added, laughing.

He had no idea - none of them did - just how accurate that assessment was.

***

Following Juan on his nature walk, as he called them, was about as easy as breaking into the shed with the key had been. Ernesto had worried he may not manage to go unnoticed, regardless his attempts at staying behind and hidden in the admittedly scarce vegetation and far more numerous rocks, but the gringo seemed deep in thought and hadn’t turned back once as he walked. And walked. And walked.

Good. The farther away we get from the village, the better. No one will hear. No one will know. Bandits, it happens.

He sort of wished he’d had the time to grab something he could use as a weapon, but he’d spotted the gringo going off by chance and had barely managed to follow after he rid himself of the… several parishioners who had come to him asking he put a stop to what seemed a full-fledged reign of terror now that Juan had finally snapped. The side of him Ernesto had somehow managed to placate had returned with a vengeance, it seemed.

“He told me it is a sin for women to be in charge of a business!” the seamstress had protested, clearly livid. “It’s just me, how does that pendejo think I’d make a living if I cannot work on my own!”

“He screamed at my grandson that he needed to cut his hair or he’d go to Hell! Now he’s terrified the Devil is hunting him down!”

“He heard me say I wanted to get new picture frames to put on the ofrenda, and he told me-- something about pagan fetishes?”

“He told me I’m going to Hell, just like that. I was just scratching my ass, seems a bit harsh, no?”

“... You sure that wasn’t because you’re a curadero?”

“Ah. That’s possible.”

Ernesto had excused himself quickly, told them he’d talk to Padre Juan at the first chance, and headed off the same direction he’d spotted him going. He was just beginning to think the pendejo was never going to stop and was planning to walk all the way to Oaxaca powered by pure spite when, finally, he stopped by the small stream that ran through Santa Cecilia.

For a moment Ernesto thought he might drown him in it but ah, it was barely more than a trickle now, the weather had been so dry. Strangling him was… a possibility, but Ernesto would rather not do it if he could help it, because the thought of having him seeing him as he died - having to watch his face as he dies, reddened and features twisted as he tried to breathe - was more than he felt he could bear.

So he just watched, hidden behind shrubs and sparse trees, as the gringo sat, lit himself a cigarette, and released a cloud of smoke.

All right. It’s not or never.

Ernesto looked down and ah, there - a rock the size of his head, right by his feet. Heavy. Deadly. And if it worked for Cain, it would work for him. He only needed to walk up to him behind his back, quietly, and strike. He would never know what hit him.

And he was about to throw the first stone. I was only quicker.

Ernesto clenched his teeth, held the stone in both hands, and almost stepped out of his hiding spot - only that a sound reached him, sudden as it was harsh, unmistakable. A sob. He stilled, and stared with a knot in his throat as Juan’s shoulders shuddered and he suddenly hunched forward, palms pressed over his face, and broke into full-on weeping, sobs so harsh his entire frame shuddered.

Ah, mierda. The rock was heavy in Ernesto’s hands, his mouth dry, and somewhere in the back of his mind a voice screamed for him to do it, do it now, while he was not looking up, while he was vulnerable. One blow to the head, he’d be put out of his misery, and Ernesto would be safe once more; everyone would assume it was the work of some outsider, and why not? Any gringo could become a target, since Veracruz.

He’d tear the golden crucifix off his neck-- Father Joseph’s parting gift, it is very dear to me -- and that would be it. It wasn’t like Juan had a family behind him who would push for light to be shed on his death, and-- maybe one day I may be allowed to return home, only one day, once I have redeemed myself, and see them again -- he’d just pretend to be shocked when someone found the body, officiate his funeral-- it wouldn’t count, I am not a priest, that’s why I never did funerals or last rites -- and never again have to worry about him. Never again have to see him, or hear his voice, or… or hear him cry, though last he’d heard him make sounds like that it was in bed and not precisely weeping, and...

“I had no choice--”

“No choice! How did you have no choice but to defile me! You ruined me!”

God, the stone felt heavy in his hands, so heavy as he watched Juan crying as only a lost soul can. But he had to move now, or the moment would be gone and he may never get another chance. It was life or death, an easy choice. It ought to be an easy choice. The only one.

Todo modo, he thought, trying to shut out the sobs still reaching his ears.

Todo modo para buscar la voluntad divina. Does this seem divine will?

It is mine and it is enough. If God wanted me to give a damn about his will, he shouldn’t have let the army take me. He shouldn’t have let them turn me into a murderer.

Ernesto de la Cruz clenched his jaw, grasped the stone more tightly, and prepared to move.

***

“Dante! Stop! Come back here!”

Miguel ran as fast as he could, but of course Dante had four legs and keeping up with him after he set off after a hare proved impossible. He didn’t think Dante had ever ran that long without stopping: usually something would distract him enough to change his course, or slow down; other times, he would crash into something. But this time, it felt like he would never stop.

And Miguel’s legs were tired.

“Dante!” he tried to call out, wheezing. He’d seen his stupid dog’s tail disappear behind some bushes to the side of the stream, and he followed, hoping he’d gotten tangled or something so he could finally reach him and tell him off for running off like that. Juanita hadn’t meant to hurt him with that peck to his tail, he was sure. Well, almost sure, but--

“No, no! Go away! Perro estúpido, leave me alone…!”

The hushed voice among the rustling bushes made Miguel still, his furiously beating heart leaping on his throat. Who was that? Soldiers? Bandits? Spies?

“Dante, get-- get off!”

Oh. Miguel let out a long breath. No, no soldiers or bandits - whoever that was he knew Dante. But why was he whispering like that?

“Who’s there?” Miguel called out, instinctively trying not to raise his voice either, and walked further into the bushes, peered past a tree. “Oh! It’s you! I thought-- what are you doing?”

The sight before his eyes was… weird. Ernesto was cursing under his breath, Dante dangling from his sleeve and a large rock under the other arm - which he dropped the second he saw Miguel, clearly startled. Only for it to land squarely on his foot.

A noise that might have been a strangled grito left him, and he slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle it. Miguel blinked. “What are you?”

“I-is someone there?” a voice called out, heavily accented and unmistakable, though right now it seemed oddly nasal, too.

“Is that Padre--” Miguel began, but he didn’t get to finish the question: the next moment Ernesto grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and was dragging him deeper among the shrubs, behind more trees, Dante still holding onto his sleeve and wagging his tail. “Oye!” Miguel exclaimed when they finally stopped, quite some distance away. “What was that abou--”

“Will you shut up!” Ernesto snarled, and suddenly lifted him, shaking him like a rag doll. It made whatever Miguel had been about to say die in his throat - his features were so distorted he hardly looked like himself.

“E-Ernest--”

“Don’t Ernesto me! Your damn dog - you - I should have let you drown in the stream!”

That was unexpected, and it cut deep,coming from the same man who’d said they would travel the world together and play music for crowds only a few days earlier. It had been some reassurance that someone did want him after all. “Y-you don’t mean it, we’re frien--”

“We’re not friends, idiota. If we were, you wouldn’t have blabbed and risked my neck!”

Oh-- he knew, he knew he had told Héctor the truth. Miguel’s eyes stung, his vision growing blurry. “I, I knew they were not going to hurt--”

“You know nothing,” Ernesto snapped, and dropped him on the ground. Dante growled in protest, only to jump back with a yelp when he was hit by a vicious backhand. “Now get out of my sight, or God help us both!”

Miguel ran all the way back to the village, Dante in tow, his eyes blurry with tears.

***

By the time Ernesto returned to his spot, Juan was no longer there. Of course not, his usual luck. Ernesto muttered a curse under his breath and stood there for a few moments, wondering what he should do.

No matter which way he turned, he couldn’t see the damn gringo anywhere… and besides, going through with his plan after that brat had spotted him would be too risky. Miguel would talk, as he had before, and it would look… suspicious at best that Padre Juan just so happened to have been killed by bandits right after he had been spotted following him.

That damn kid. Should have silenced him when I could. He would have told no one, I’d still have my pistol, and this would be all over now.

Part of him was horrified by his own thoughts, but its voice was feeble, inaudible beneath the anger and growing panic. Because he hadn’t silenced Miguel, he did not have the pistol, and he had little over a day to get rid of the gringo before he ruined everything. It was infuriating, but it was how things were and there was no use in crying over spilled milk.

There would be another moment he could seize before time was up, and he would, he had to. His life was on the line - and now he had little over a day left to save it.

Yet, despite the growing panic, there was something beneath it - a hint of relief, the part of him that didn’t want to do it, refusing to go away. Ernesto did his best to ignore it, and began limping back towards the village.

***

Héctor was walking out of the cemetery - no, Ernesto was not there either and he was running out of ideas - when Miguel slammed into him at full speed, almost knocking them both to the ground. The boy stumbled, and Héctor caught him just on time to spare his face a painful meeting with the ground. “Oye! Careful there, chamaco! Where are you going in such a--”

“Let me go!” Miguel shrieked, shoving him away and taking several steps back, reaching up to wipe his-- wait, was he crying? Oh God, he was crying.

“Miguel?” Héctor called out, alarmed. “Chamaco, what happened--”

“You told him!” Miguel almost screamed, causing a couple of passe-byes to pause and turn to look, taken aback. If possible, Héctor found himself even more confused.

“Told? What--”

“He knows that you know-- you told him I told you! You’d promised you wouldn’t!”

Oh. Oh, mierda. That was not supposed to come up, had Ernesto told him that? He must have, who else, but why would he? “Miguel, it’s all right. We sorted things out and no one is mad--”

“He is!” Miguel wiped his eyes furiously, face all red. “He’s mad now, and… he was gonna take me… you ruined everything and I don’t want to talk to you again!”

“Miguel, listen, we only-- Miguel!” Héctor called out, but ay, it was too late: Miguel was off running again, Dante in tow with something in his mouth that looked suspiciously like a chicken leg stolen from God knew who. He groaned, rubbing the back of his neck. Miguel had never, ever been that angry at him before. Surely he would come around, but--

“Heh, look at that,” Gustavo’s voice came from somewhere behind his back. “Maybe the gringo is right, these kids aren’t getting enough stiff discipli--”

“Chingate,” Héctor snapped, causing him to trail off and a couple of elderly women to gasp, but he didn’t care. He just walked off, back to the parish, to tell Sofía and Imelda that he couldn’t find Ernesto anywhere.

***

“What I’m saying is, the gringo is out of control and Ernesto still is the parish priest, at least on paper. So whatever issue there is with Juan he had better say something about it, because if he doesn’t put a stop to it I swear someone is going to strangle him before next Sunday and that someone is probably going to be me.”

“Get in line,” Imelda muttered, causing Sofía to chuckle.

“Curious as I am to see who’d get to him first, it would probably be a lot better if Ernesto managed to calm him down. Whatever the means.”

“I’d really prefer not to speculate on those means.”

Both Sofía and Imelda turned to the door to see Héctor walking in, and behind him… no one. “I couldn’t find him,” Héctor spoke up before either could ask. “No idea where he went. I met Miguel, thought and… well…”

They both were silent as Héctor told them about the encounter, and by the time he was done even Sofía was not smiling anymore.

“Why tell him? What was he thinking?” Imelda asked, scowling. Héctor shook his head.

“I have no idea what he was thinking, he’s been acting weird the past couple of days. I have no idea what the gringo is thinking, he’s been even weirder. It’s like they have both gone mad.”

Sofía raised an eyebrow, the gears in her head turning. “Yes. Gone mad about at the same time. And Ernesto has been oddly passive while Padre Juan went on with his bullshit of telling old widows they were going to Hell for eating meat on a Friday.”

Héctor blinked for a moment, but Imelda was quicker to put two and two together. “... Do you think there is a connection?”

“If there isn’t, I’ll eat my rosary.”

“Ah,” Héctor muttered, looking concerned. Well, more concerned than before. “You don’t think Padre Juan might have… figured something out?”

It was probably the worst case scenario in Sofía’s mind, just about the last thing they needed to deal with. All right, maybe not the last - that would be Federales swarming the village - but still, pretty close to the bottom of the list. But it was… more likely than she was comfortable with, taking into account Padre Juan’s suddenly unhinged behavior and Ernesto’s sudden anger at Miguel for telling them the truth despite nothing bad coming out of it.

They certainly had never told Padre Culo Blanco a thing.

“Well, I figure the easiest way to find out is to have a talk with the man himself.”

“The gringo?” Héctor was clearly not a fan of the idea. Sofía shook her head.

“No, not the gringo, I’d sooner have Gustavo in my bed again.” She made a face. Everyone has regrets and that was hers. “We’ll talk to Ernesto, when he shows up. He has to, sooner or lat--”

The sound of a door opening and closing caused her to trail off. All three turned as one to look at the kitchen door in silence, listening to the footsteps on the wooden boards. Oddly uneven footsteps, really, as though someone was limping rather than walking down the corridor.

Maybe it’s the gringo, Sofía thought, maybe someone did teach him a lesson after all.

But it wasn’t the gringo: the door was pushed open and there stood Ernesto, sweaty and hair ruffled, looking rather grumpy. His expression, however, turned to surprise when he saw all three of them sitting there, staring at him. He opened his mouth, but got no chance to speak.

Sofía smiled. Widely. “Oh, here you are,” she said, voice sickly sweet. “Sit with us, amigo. I think you need to explain just what the hell is going on.”

***

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#pixar coco #ernesto de la cruz #miguel rivera #imelda rivera #hector rivera #coco #fake priest au

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ang-26 · 4 years

Text

The best choice

Itzan Escamilla x Reader

“Can you believe it’s been 15 years already?” You ask your husband leaning on his strong chest.

“I would never have thought that in one night my life would change completely.” He answers and wraps his arms around your waist.

“Do you ever regret your choice?” You ask him looking at the sun setting on the sea.

“Never, you’re the best choice I’ve ever made. I knew that lying to you about that was stupid but I was young.”

“I forgave you a long time ago”. You answer truthfully and turn to kiss him on the lips.

“I remember this night perfectly.” He murmurs and I can still see it behind my closed eyes.

You and Itzan have been together for a few months when he began to play Samuel in Elite. I was a stylist in contract with Netflix for all the “teen drama” shows. I was also working on the Elite set. Everything was doing great between you two until one crucial moment. It was the moment when you felt him slipping through yours fingers. You didn’t understand it because you were always supportive of him, always here for him and he was there for you too.

But when he began to play season 3 something changed in his behavior. He was no longer the man you loved, or the man that made your heart stopped when he looked at you with love in his eyes.

“Itzan?” You ask when you wake up and do not feel him next to you. You look at the alarm clock and it says 3 AM.

You get up from the bed and search for him around your apartment but he is not there. You try to call him but he doesn’t answer. You leave him a message after the beep: “Hey babe. It’s me, I’m just wondering where you are and if you’re okay. Call me or text me when you get it, please. I love you.”

You try to go back to sleep because you have to be up in four hours to go to work. When your alarm beeps at 7 AM, it’s like you haven’t sleep a wink but you have to get up and get ready for work.

“Hi, babe.” Ester greets you when you arrive on set. “Do you want a coffee?”

I nod and answer: “Hello, chica. How are you today?”

“Great and you?” You answer and take a sip of your coffee.

“Are you really lying to me, (Y/n)?” She asks and looks pointedly at you.

“No, Ester.” You answer closing your eyes and try to calm down your emotions. “I’m just trying to figure out where was Itzan yesterday night as he was not home and I tried to call him a hundred time.”

“I don’t know, babe but I’m sure there is a reason.” She says and puts one of her hand on your shaking ones.

“He has been distant since the beginning of the new season. We’ve been together for more than three years and it’s the first time that I feel like we’re not in symbiosis anymore, you know.”

“What are you saying? That he’s cheating on you?!” She asks in disbelief. “Come on, you can’t think that, he loves you so much.”

“I don’t know, really. He’s pushing me away and I don’t understand why.” You say and take a deep breath to clear my head. “Anyway, I need to dress you up for the scene at Carla’s house with Itzan.”

“I’m sure everything is going to be okay, babe. You guys are made for each other. Anyway, how are you going to make me look fabulous today?” She asks changing the subject and I’m grateful for that.

You keep yourself busy throughout the morning with everyone coming to say hello to you and styling everybody for their scene except for Itzan who is due to come any minute.

“Hi baby, how are you today?” You hear behind you Itzan walking in the changing room.

“I’m great and you?” You ask him as if nothing had happened. You turn around check Danna’s clothes and make up for her scene. “You can go, Danna. We’re all done here.”

“Thanks sweetheart, see you tonight with the girls?” She asks and you nod to her. She winks at you and glares at Itzan on her way out.

You feel Itzan coming behind you and he wraps his arms around your waist. “I missed you.” He whispers in your ear and begins to kiss you on your neck.

“Where were you yesterday?” You ask as calmly as possible and push him away from your body.

“(Y/n), don’t be like that. I was with the boys and I fall asleep on Miguel’s couch.” He answers and puts his hands on your waist again.

“You couldn’t have call me? Or at least text me to let me know where you were?!” You turn around angrily and you put your arms on your chest defensively. “Can you tell me why are you pushing me away?”

“I’m sorry, babe. We just finished filming a night shot late and one drink turned into two or three, you know how it is. And I’m not pushing you away, I’m just trying to finish some stuffs.”

“Alright.” You say and look at him smugly. “So, as you had a boys night yesterday. I’ll have mine tonight with the girls. You don’t mind, right darling?” I ask and take out his clothes for his shooting. “You can go and get change. And don’t wait up for me tonight.”

“Come on, let me explain- “He begins and you shake your head.

“No, I don’t want to hear it and I’m needed on set.” You say and leave before he can say a word.

-----

“Hi girls!” You say when you enter Ester’s apartment. You kiss them each of the cheek and hug them. “Sorry, I’m late.”

“You’re just on time, babe. A glass of white wine?” Danna asks you when you sit down next to her on the couch.

“Yes, make it two.” You say laughing and reach out to take the glass.

“How are you?” She asks smiling at me.

“Good, better.” You say and put your head on her shoulder sighing. She hums and you continue “When you left this morning, I said to him that I was having a night out and I wanted to have a night free of drama.”

“What’s wrong between you guys?” Mina asks you when she comes back from the kitchen.

“I don’t know, really. But I feel like something’s changed, you know. I can’t point out what exactly but he’s not the same. I tried to talk to him several times but he’s been avoiding me. Maybe it’s something I did or didn’t, I don’t know and I feel anxious, sad…”

“Maybe, he’s doing something for your three-year anniversary, honey.” Mina says to you and pats your thigh gently.

“It’s tomorrow.” You mutter and close your eyes to hold back your tears. “But I don’t think we’re going to celebrate. We’re more likely to break up.”

“(Y/n), you know what. Let’s forget about him for now and enjoy your night out.” You nod at her and take a sip of your drink. “We could go to a club, if you want.”

I nod at her. “Ester, do you have anything to eat?” You ask because you didn’t eat anything all day.

“Sure, babe. What do you want? It’s on the table.” She says and I get up from the couch.

Two hours later in a club.

“Do you want something to drink, (Y/n)?” You hear Áron asking in your ear when he puts one of his arms around your shoulder.

“Just some orange juice, please.” You say and turn to kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks.”

“Your wish is my command.” He says winking and leaves to go to the bar.

“Ester, I’m going to the bathroom. I don’t feel so good…” You say in her ear before feeling like the ground was falling from under your feet. You would have fallen over the table if Miguel haven’t been here to keep you up.

“What’s wrong?” You can hear his voice but it feels like he was far away from you. “(Y/n)! Open your eyes, dammit!” is the last thing you hear before everything goes black.

-----

“Babe…” You hear a whisper in my room. You can feel a soft kiss on your knuckles. And before you can even mutter a sound you can hear Itzan’s voice: “I’m sorry for not being there with you. I know you’re angry but could you forgive me? I didn’t want to push you away; I was just trying to surprise you with a house. I’ve been working on it for months, the boys helped me a lot. I know that you want to leave Madrid, the city and I found a house close to Madrid, so we could still go to work there and live peacefully in our house.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You ask softly and squeeze his hand.

“You’re awake…” Itzan says and gets up to kiss you on your forehead. “I’ve never been so scared. How are you?”

“I’m good, babe. I just had a drop-in blood pressure and I almost didn’t eat all day. The doctor wants to keep me for the night, just in case.” You murmur. “Come on the bed with me, please.”

“No, I’ll let you get some rest.” He says and sit on the chair again.

“Please, I’ll sleep better with you next to me.” I say softly and pull on his hand again.

He takes off his jacket and climb next to you carefully. He wraps on of his arm around your shoulder. You put your head in the crook of his neck and you feel yourself relaxing with his intoxicating smell. Just before falling asleep you take his hands and put them of your belly.

“Soon, we will be three.” You say happily and look at me with happy tears in your eyes.

#i am writing #itzan escamilla #itzan imagine #itzan writing #itzan fanfiction #itzan x reader #elite #eliteedit #elite netflix #netflix #elite imagine #elite writing

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bubblywrites · 3 years

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Running From A Name Chapter 12

“Okay, okay, I’m coming! Don’t beat my door down!” Alma yelled. She rushed to the front of her apartment. She swung the door open, prepared to scold the person who beat against her door like a madman. Upon seeing the visitor, Alma lost the urge to unleash her anger. Sophia stood in front of her with two bulky bags in her hands. The bags had red, blue, and yellow fabric poking out from them. Alma assumed the bulges at the bottom of the bag were heel tips. When she took the bags from Sophia’s hands, her arms went limp. “What the hell is in here? The whole clothing store?”

Giddiness spread across Sophia’s face. “That is only a few of the things I wanted you to try on today. But because we’re pressed for time, I decided against it.”

A bead of sweat rolled down Alma’s temple. After working at the department store for two years, the company made Sophia a manager. Because of her managerial status, Sophia received huge discounts on all the items in the store. However, this meant Alma had to succumb to being Sophia’s personal dress up doll.

Alma side-stepped, giving Sophia room to come inside the apartment. Sophia searched the living room. “Where are your siblings?”

Alma shut the door with her foot. “I sent them to Marco’s. It was better to send them there since I’m going to be at the party tonight.”

“Good choice.” Sophia said.

She headed to Alma’s bedroom. Alma entered the room after her. She set the bags on the floor with a huff. “I wanted to choose something already in my closet for the party. I asked you to come over for a second opinion. Not bring a bunch of clothes with you.”

Sophia scoffed. “I love your sense of style Al, but none of the clothes in your closet were going to work.”

Alma put a hand to her chest. “What’s wrong with my clothes?”

“They’re too comfortable. Now don’t get me wrong. You have a good mix of hoodies, cute dresses, leggings, and fancy clothes. But none of it is appropriate for a college party.”

“What do you consider appropriate for a college party?” Alma asked, making air quotes.

Sophia dug through her bags and pulled out a blue dress. She tossed it to Alma and commanded her to put on the dress.

Alma changed into the dress. She stepped in front of the mirror. Her mouth gaped. The dress hugged her body in a tight embrace. It had a deep cut down the middle, revealing her cleavage. The hem of the dress stopped at Alma’s upper thighs. Alma feared people would get a peek of her ass if she bent at the wrong angle.

“You look so sexy. The boys at this party are going to be all over you.” Sophia gushed.

Alma tugged at the dress. “I can’t wear this. It leaves nothing to the imagination. I might as well walk into the party naked.”

“If you don’t like that one, I have plenty more for you to try on.” Sophia said as she yanked more dresses from the bags.

Alma tried on most of the dresses Sophia brought. Each one was just as raunchy as the blue one.

“Sophie, did you not bring anything normal?” Alma asked, peeved.

“I wanted you to wear something out of your comfort zone. Plus, you have such a great body. You need to show it off.”

“Not as great as yours.” Alma mumbled to herself. Sophia oozed with confidence no matter what she wore. She had every right to. Everything looked good on Sophia. Even more so since she cut her hair to shoulder length. Her bouncy red curls framed her face, highlighting her most attractive facial features. In heels, she towered over most men. But they still flocked to her like she was a majestic goddess ready to answer their prayers.

“What about this one?” Sophia held up a long sleeved black dress. The sleeves and upper chest were see-through. “This one is a little more tame than the others.”

Alma grabbed the dress from Sophia’s hands. She pulled it over her head and down her body. The dress was tight-fitting but looser than the ones she had already tried on. The bottom of the dress reached the middle of her thighs. Alma stroked her sides. She posed multiple times, checking herself out in the mirror. “This is the one.” Alma said.

Sophia clapped her hands together. “It doesn’t show too much skin. It’s classy while still being sexy. That dress is perfect for you.”

“Thanks.” Alma responded. I wonder what Bruno would think of this dress? Would he say it was cute or sexy? I’d really want him to say sexy. Alma’s thoughts caused to blood rush to her cheeks.

“What’s got you blushing?” Sophia asked smugly.

Alma turned to hide her face and muttered, “Nothing. Just thinking about something.”

Alma couldn’t see it, but she felt the sly smirk on Sophia’s face.

Sophia breathed out an exaggerated sigh. “Although he wishes it were him, I know my dear younger brother is not the boy who occupies your thoughts.”

Alma occasionally played along with Sophia and Manzo in teasing Giuseppe about his little crush on her (By playing along, Alma just sat next to Giuseppe attempting to look cuter). However, as they grew older, Giuseppe’s feelings for her became stronger. Alma stopped joining in on the teasing and set clear boundaries with Giuseppe. She wanted to respect his feelings towards her. Even though she didn’t feel the same. Time alone with Giuseppe could get awkward, but they were still good friends regardless. Giuseppe would find a nice girl who would return his love as he studied in Milan. Well, that’s what Alma hoped for him.

“So let me guess. The guy you're interested in is Signore Buccellati isn’t it?” Sophia asked.

Alma’s expression gloomed. “Yeah, it is.”

Sophia blinked a few times. “I did not expect you to admit that so quickly. Usually, you would have argued with me about it.”

“You were going to force it out of me anyway. I figured there was no point in denying it. I am curious how you found out it was Bruno.”

Sophia leaned back on her elbows. “I see the way you two look at each other when I go to the restaurant. Plus, you're the only one who calls him by his first name. And the only one he allows to call him by his first name. With that said, you don’t look too happy about your feelings for him.”

Alma sat next to Sophia. The bed groaned under her weight. “I don’t talk about my relationship with him for reasons. But, I feel like I should tell you this for context. When we were younger, Bruno and I promised to confide in each other. He’s been my closest friend ever since. You, Giuseppe, Manzo, and Angelo are all close to me. But with Bruno, it’s a little different. He understands me in a way nobody else can. Even with our promise, sometimes I feel like I’m not what he needs.”

Sophia placed her hand over Alma’s. “What makes you say that?”

Alma wanted to erase what she heard this morning-the conversation between Bruno and Miguel. She didn’t catch everything they said because she faded in and out of sleep. However, Miguel’s words she heard clearly. “If you started dating my sister, I don’t know if I would like you anymore.” His words struck something in Alma. A nagging realization she had been running from. She can’t get any closer to Bruno. The blood on his hands, his growing position in the mafia, and his teammates did not faze her. She would have avoided Bruno years ago if that were the case. She can’t get closer to Bruno because she can’t give all of herself to him. Guilt, pain, regret, and self-hatred were emotions that were tied together with memories from her past. Memories that Alma kept a tight lid on deep inside herself. No matter how close she got to someone, she could never allow those emotions and truths to be released onto them. Not Marco, her siblings, or Angelo. Not Sophia or Giuseppe. And not Bruno, the person she wanted to spend the most time with. The person she wanted to hold close. The person she swore to trust in.

Alma closed her eyes. In the darkness, the serpent that haunted her dreams stared at her with it’s demonic eyes. Her muscles tensed as it slithered around her body. Its words reverberated in her ears. “You’re a liar.”

So be it. For the safety of those around her, she would be a liar. This nightmare was hers and hers alone to bare.

“Alma, you okay?” Sophia asked. She squeezed Alma’s hand.

Alma opened her eyes. “I’m fine.”

“You never answered my question. Why do you feel like you're not what Signore Buccellati needs?”

Alma gave Sophia a fake smile as she told her a half-truth. “Because I can’t give him my undivided attention. I have a job, school, and my siblings to worry about. He needs someone who can be there for him more often than I can.”

“And he’s also dangerous. You know him better than I do so I can’t judge. If anyone can make a romantic relationship between the two of you work though, it would be you.”

Alma wished she could believe in Sophia’s words, but her lid needed to stay on.

Sophia got off the bed and stretched her arms. “I have to do your makeup.”

Alma patted her cheeks. “Transform me Sophie.”

“You look good. Ready to go?” Angelo asked enthusiastically.

Alma slammed the car door closed. “Yeah. But my appearance is all Sophie’s work.” Alma glanced over Angelo’s body. He wore a simple, blue button down shirt with a pair of black jeans and white sneakers. “You're dressed really casually. Didn’t feel like getting fancy tonight?”

“Absolutely not. I only dress fancy for dates and important events.”

Angelo drove to the university in thirty minutes. Alma could only see parts of the campus from where she and Angelo were. The campus was not anything special. The school consisted of white Renaissance buildings with black window frames. There was no greenery except for a few trees and bushes. If a foreigner came to Italy, they would think the school was part of the city. However, to Alma, the school was a castle. She was a princess ready to be drilled by her instructors to take on the art world.

The party was in one of the houses near the University of Naples’ campus. Upbeat music poured out of the house. At the entrance, people were holding red plastic cups. Some struggled to walk while others were hunched over vomiting. Before Alma stepped inside, a wave of heat hit her.

“Are all college parties this hot?” Alma asked, fanning herself.

“You’ll forget the heat is there by the time you start enjoying yourself. But to answer your question, yes.” Angelo responded.

Alma and Angelo moved through the crowd of people. Now that she was inside the house, the music boomed in her ears at a deafening volume. A group of boys waved at Angelo. He nodded at them then turned to Alma. “I’m gonna go hang out with my friends. You’re welcomed to come with me.”

The idea of hanging out with those boys was off putting. Angelo’s college friends weren’t like Giuseppe or Manzo. They gave off an uncomfortable vibe. Alma shook her head and said, “You can go along. I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

Angelo gave her one last look before leaving to mingle with his friends and other students.

Alma had been at the party for well over fifteen minutes, but all she had done was tuck herself into a corner. She felt like a child amongst all these college students. The boys bodies were more built than the ones she knew in high school. The girls were only in their late teens and early twenties but looked like they had full on careers. Their revealing clothing made Alma appear as though she never finished developing. She blushed at the sight of couples sticking their tongues down each other’s throats as they fumbled up the stairs. The smell of alcohol made her nose tingle.

Someone tapped Alma’s shoulder. She whipped her head to them and met Angelo’s golden eyes.

“You look like a lost puppy. Come here.” Angelo grabbed her wrist, pulling Alma into the kitchen. He shoved one of the red plastic cups on the snack table into her hand.

Alma stared at the red liquid in the cup. “What’s in here?”

“A bunch of hard liquor. But its mixed with a bunch of juice and soda, so you can’t taste it.”

Alma drank alcohol before. Her and Angelo snuck into Marco’s personal stash multiple times during their nighttime adventures.

“That means this stuff is dangerous.” Alma said.

“You wouldn’t be lying. This stuff can get you drunk really quickly. But I suggest you drink some of it to loosen up a little. The people here aren’t much older than you are. So stop looking like they're gonna eat you or something. You’re not even that shy of a person.”

Alma sighed. “You’re right. I’ll go have some fun.” Alma drowned the entire cup. The liquid tasted like Angelo’s description-an amalgamation of different juice and soda brands. However, the burning sensation as the liquid went down Alma’s throat, reminded her that there was alcohol in the concoction. Alma rolled her shoulders as the liquor freed her from earlier anxiety.

Alma grabbed Angelo’s arm and dragged him into the living room. A fast paced song started playing. Alma moved her body to the beat of the music. Her dancing wasn’t the greatest, but it was good enough to get a couple of onlookers. Angelo danced better than she did. Each move Alma did, Angelo followed up with a cooler one. The other people at the party joined Angelo and Alma in their dancing. Her ears rang from the cheers and her own laughter.

During the dancing, a strange object caught Alma’s eye. In the corner of the room, a boy popped a fairy blue piece of candy in his mouth. Alma stopped moving. Everything around her stopped moving. Her stomach clenched. What is that doing here? How did it get here? Who’s...no.

Alma shuffled her way through the crowd. She reached the kitchen and drank another cup of the alcohol and juice mix. She drank another and another. She needed the alcohol to make her forget what she saw. She did not want to remember the horrors of that fairy blue thing.

The alcohol attacked her system. The intoxication mellowed her thoughts. A hand creeped onto her back. A husky male voice whispered in her ear, “Hey, you were the girl dancing just now? I think you’re really cute. Wanna go upstairs?”

The hand travelled to her waist. The man's touch made Alma’s body seize. He yanked Alma against his chest. Alma pushed against him in an attempt to free herself from his grasp. The man’s grip tightened in response. “Why are you struggling so much? I’ll be gentle. I promise.” His hands roamed her back. The path of his fingers were like burning venom under skin. The serpent’s eyes flashed in her mind. When she gazed up at the man, Dino’s face was there. Vile phantom touches from her memories became a reality. The room felt as though it was closing in on her. Alma’s breathing became ragged. She was on the verge of hyperventilating. She wanted to scream and hide. With one hard shove, she escaped the man’s hold on her.

Alma dashed out of the house. She ran. The university, the streets, and people were a blur, but she didn’t care. She continued to run. The fairy blue candy, Dino’s face, and the serpent were too much.

Alma’s heel broke, making her trip. Her face hit the pavement of the sidewalk, but she didn’t feel it. The alcohol created cracks in the lid storing all of Alma’s most hurtful emotions, memories, and truths. The pain from them overpowered any bruise or scratch from smacking the sidewalk head on. People walked past Alma probably assuming she was some drunk. Good. She didn’t deserve nor want their sympathy. She deserved to have the serpent crush the life out of her. Even so, she yearned for someone to comfort her. She wanted her father and mother. She wanted the warmth of their presence to remind her she was going to be okay. But they were gone. And so was their warmth. The only warmth she wanted now was Bruno’s.

But Bruno didn’t need to see her this way. Broken and drunk. However, Alma’s actions contradicted her thoughts. She reached for her phone and dialed Bruno’s number.

“Hey Alma. What’s up?”

Her words came out in choked sobs. “I need help. Please Bruno. Please help me.”

“Alma where are you?” He asked frantically.

Alma glanced at the street signs and told him the address. He came to her in a hurry. Bruno pressed an arm against Alma’s back and hooked his other one under her legs. He hoisted her up and placed her in his car. Alma’s mind fogged for the entire car ride. Bruno drove to her apartment. He carried her inside and sat Alma up on the couch, but her head fell in his lap. He stroked her hair. His voice was soft and full of care. “What happened? Are you okay?”

Alma’s body curled into a fetal position. She started shaking. “I was at the party. I was having fun. Everything was fine. But too much happened. The fairy blue, the guy forcing himself on me. I just needed someone.”

Bruno’s legs tensed under her cheek. “Some guy tried to force himself on you? Where is he?” Bruno seethed with rage.

Alma didn’t need Bruno angry. She wanted to see his smile. She needed to feel his arms around her. Bruno didn’t need to know what lied in the darkest parts of her mind. His obliviousness to her true self was enough. Because if he knew her true self, she would never be able to have him in her life. Alma rose from Bruno’s lap. Her watery eyes bore into his compassionate blue ones. Alma leaned forward and pressed her lips against the corner of Bruno’s mouth. Bruno couldn’t have all of her. She couldn’t give him (Y/n). But she could give him the parts of herself she was proud of. She could give him Alma.

#Bruno Bucciarati #Bruno Buccellati #bruno buccellati x reader #bruno bucciarati x reader #jjba fanfic #jjba part 5

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badgersettlement · 4 years

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Obey Me! transMC (OC) x Lucifer (Part 1)

After the exchange program (before going back)

Also MC having to deal with some shit from before their exchange (old crushes and so on)

I guess this is my first fic post ever... I had inspiration to write about my transMC Miguel (Mars) and well... Uh I don't know if it's good or not so yeah :') I hope u enjoy even if it's an OC Insert.

OCs: Miguel (Mars), Conan (his friend and colleague)

Warnings: Uhhh I guess alcohol consumption...? mention of terfs or so idk

"Attachment to the other side"

Whenever I think back to that time... My memories come back as vivid as they were the day I first arrived at that place. The Devildom.

It was a crazy experience, a crazy dream, that changed my life.

I learned a lot, laughed a lot, cried a lot...

I suffered harder than I ever have before.

But...

I also loved harder than I ever did before.

I gazed into the eyes of death, and fell in love.

Hopelessly, desperately clinging to sanity.

My hand grazes the pact seal directly above my heart.

My home was chaos when I returned.

I hurt a lot of people with my disappearance.

Although it was tough and hard to do, I managed to get the balance back in my life.

A new feeling constantly plaguing it.

I miss them.

I miss them so much it hurts.

I want to go back. I want to stay there forever.

I miss him. I miss Lucifer.

Satan was right.

When I returned to the human world, a lot of opportunities presented themselves to me.

Being liked by the avatar of greed made me abundant in money. And being liked by the avatar of lust brought a lot of suitors along, craving to make me theirs.

At first it was overwhelming.

I worked hard to achieve my dreams, but I wondered if this outcome wasn't too exaggerated:

Too good to be true.

Eventually I got used to it. I was grateful don't get me wrong. But as much as I'd like to say the opposite, all those riches didn't make me happy.

They made my life easier, yes, but the one thing I wanted wasn't near me. We were literally worlds apart.

It was so hard. Every day, every week, every month when I talked to them, not to break out in tears and beg them to pick me up and just let me live with them.

No. I needed to become stronger, independent, someone to be proud of! Only then... Only then could I allow myself to go without regrets.

And with these thoughts in mind, three years had passed.

I owned the apartment of my dreams and I worked as a dance instructor for the entertainment industry.

I had, undoubtedly, become more mature and serious (at least for my job). An aura of pride and authority could be felt wherever I went. For the first time in my life I was perceived as arrogant and unapproachable.

As an instructor and a manager I needed to maintain a face of professionalism and authority in meetings regarding my idols and trainees (to even get a say in the matter).

I wore black gloves to my attire, no matter the weather. Mostly to cover up my pact marks but... Maybe that was my way of feeling nearer to him.. maybe it was coping or a fashion choice. I don't know.

On this particular evening, I went for a drink with a colleague of mine, whom I also knew from university days. He had known me before my disappearance and him still being my friend after all that, I considered straight up a wonder. The only problem was, that his interest in me wasn't only platonic anymore. I had pretended not to notice, but he was making it clearer and clearer by the way he behaved...

"So", he took a sip of his beer before putting it back down again, "don't you want to tell me about the new guy who wanted you so badly he even followed you to your workplace?"

I sighed.

"He was introduced to me by the director. Apparently he immediately took a ... Liking to me and started to persistently ask me out."

"Hmm", Conan hummed taking another sip.

I leaned against the counter.

"I've been trying to reject him in all sorts of ways, but he just won't listen. He doesn't want to understand and apparently he doesn't care that I am... Not a woman. The moment I correct the use of my pronouns though, he starts to get all offensive, starting to talk about biology and whatnot."

I sigh again, this time I take a deep chug of my wine.

"So a terf, huh.", he shrugs, "What are you gonna do about it?"

"Well, if nothing else works, I guess I'll need to inform the director. It could disrupt the workflow and I won't stand for that."

"Ohhh Mister Instructor is scary"

I chuckled. "Ehh I am not though"

As we started to get a little tipsy, his mood began to shift. I didn't notice at first, but he suddenly looked at me in a more serious manner than before.

"Miguel."

"Hm?"

Breathing out he put his glass down once again (how many had it been?) and positioned himself for his body to face me.

"You know, there are so many people who want you... Ever since the time you came back you have been rejecting everyone left and right.. giving always one and only one explanation" ,I tensed up at his words, "that you are already 'bound to someone' and.. I just need to ask.. is .. is it the same guy you met during the year of your disap- 'exchange'?"

Suddenly, I really wanted to go home.

"I...", I adjusted my posture, "I would be lying if I said no. Yes. It's.. it's the same person."

"So you've been hung up on a guy, you can't even meet for whatever reason?"

My nails dug themselves into my skin.

"Well, it's not that simple.. I.. I can't really meet him right now, but that will change-"

"But you guys aren't even dating, right?", he interrupted.

I flinched at that and tried to compose myself before he could see the insecurity reflecting on my face.

"Well no. We aren't. But it's complicated-"

"Then let me ask you this: why are you, saving yourself for someone who isn't tied to you, who you can't even meet, who only calls you and mind you it's never even a video call? Even though", he looked me straight in the eyes, "there are so many people out there, who want you, who deserve you so much more."

Yep. He's definitely drunk.

And he's overstepping my boundaries. Greatly.

I took a deep breath.

"Look even though you might be right about some things you said, you don't know the situation. And honestly-"

He interrupted me again.

"What if he's cheating? It wouldn't even be called cheating! He could be having so many people on the side! See what situation you are in? Maybe he's just using-"

BANG.

I slammed my glass on the table.

"Conan. I would really appreciate it, if you stopped. You're overstepping my boundaries. And frankly it's making me uncomfortable."

He stared at me, shocked for a second, but began to laugh almost hysterically.

"Oh I'M overstepping my bounds? Please Mars, don't make me laugh. Before you disappeared for a year, to god knows where, you promised ME something remember? Back then at uni, you said you liked me, and that you wanted to be with me. But I was not sure if I was really ready for a relationship yet...

So you said you'd wait and boom. You disappeared!"

So that's how he's been seeing this.

"Conan, I-"

"And then you come back, strange tattoos on your body and all.. all... Different? And suddenly you don't remember your promise, and you talk about these people you consider 'new family' and how much you miss them and miss him and whatever the fuck there is...", he looks like he's about to cry, "and what about me? What about us?"

"I'm sorry Conan... I really am. I-", I let out a frustrated sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose, "Things simply didn't turn out like I thought they would. That's why-"

"Yeah fuck that. Really. You should at least give me a chance! I don't care what gender you are, you're beautiful and intelligent and I just ... I realized it only when you disappeared... How much I needed you.. I deserve a chance!"

I just shook my head giving him an empathetic look: "I'm sorry."

"No! Not sorry! Give me a chance, I ... Come on I deserve one, Miguel. Don't discard me like all those extras craving for your attention-"

This was getting annoying real quick.

"Conan, I never tied myself to you. And I never promised anything. We were young and I had a crush, yes, but that's it. Let's talk about this when we've cleared our heads, okay?", I waved at the barkeeper, "I would like to pay please."

"You can't treat me like this!", he grabbed my arm.

People around us were starting to glance over and the barkeeper looked at us with a worried expression before interjecting.

"Is everything alright over here?"

I shot him a smile.

"Yes, yes in fact I am leaving. Please don't worry about us.", my eyes met Conan's, "Mister Capinter, I kindly ask you to release my arm this instant. I am in no way obligated to explain myself to you, n'or is this any of your business. Romance between colleagues is highly unprofessional and I would like to keep it the other way."

He scoffed as I yanked my arm off his grip.

"If you will excuse me-"

"Every. Fucking. Time. Every time I try to get closer to you, you get all defensive and stuck up and start talking exactly like that. Like you don't even know me-", he shouts after me, "It's your fault I am like this!!!"

At this point, I am already out of the door on my way home. I couldn't have stayed too long anyways... Since I actually had plans to receive a call from someone. Although it was hard focusing on that, when I just walked out of a stressful situation like this.

When I arrive home, I take off my gloves and throw them on the counter while letting myself fall into the sofa, a frustrated sigh leaving my lips. My hands cup my eyes when I curse quietly. As my fingers slowly move towards my necktie to losen it my mind picks up on the trail of thoughts I had tried to ignore.

Will he remember this tomorrow?

Was this relationship based on his unrequited feelings all along? I don't want to lose him as a friend, but this just makes it harder...

Fuck.

I thought back on what he said:

'He could have other people on the side'

I trust him. I trust him, but even so.. it's not like I didn't think about him being with others. I do worry. I do, but I... I have to trust him. I just have to. What other choice is there?

I stood up.

"Oof.. I still need a drink."

Following my urge, I opened up a bottle of wine and poured me a glass.

And another one.

And another one..

Until a loud ringing woke me up from my daze.

On very tipsy feet, I made my way towards my D.D.D.

The display lit up, revealing the face and name of all my desperation.

I picked up.

"Lucifer."

#obey me #obey me mc #obey me lucifer #obeyme lucifer x mc #obey me transmc #obeyme fanfic #writing fanfic #fan fic #transman #oc insert

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bishielurvmaxxie · 4 years

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10 Things I’ve Let Go and How This Has Set Me Free

By Sara Fabian

“I do not fix problems. I fix my thinking. Then problems fix themselves.” ~ Louise Hay

Looking back on my life, I came to understand that perfection was my worst enemy. I was raised in an environment of high expectation, and every day in school felt like I was competing with others and fighting to be the best in class.

At the age of ten I believed I was stupid just because my brain couldn’t work out physics and math. I was good with literature, arts, and foreign languages, but that wasn’t a sign of brilliance in the Eastern-European culture that shaped me.

Much later, as a grown-up woman, I didn’t see myself as good enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, or successful enough. I felt unworthy of being loved by a wonderful man, unworthy of getting a good paycheck to reflect my skills and talents, too unworthy to apply for a tempting position at work.

My life looks completely different today, and I embrace the new me with much gratitude and joy. I love myself as I am. I am happily married and doing what I was born to do in the world.

So how did this shift happen?

I can recall myself feeling overwhelmed after a long meeting at work, and looking for some inspiration to help me release the stress and feel better. As I was searching for The Secret movie on the YouTube, I “accidentally” opened another video that went straight into my heart: You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay.

Today, I know that was no accident. The teacher shows up when the student is ready—so true! I was so touched and absorbed by that movie, I couldn’t stop watching. Listening to Louise was pure magic; every single word went straight into my heart. I finally felt home, in a space where it was perfectly okay to be me: “I love and approve myself as I am. I am whole and complete and life loves me.”

Over the next year, I discovered the work of other enlightened souls—Wayne Dyer, Byron Katie, and Don Miguel Ruiz—inviting me to precious moments of self-reflection and deep learning. Their teaching helped me to let go of old thinking patterns and cultural limiting beliefs that didn’t serve me well.

After much trial and error applying their wisdom to my life, I have found a new sense of freedom. Here’s how:

1. I’ve let go of the need to be perfect.

I am perfectly beautiful and beautifully imperfect, and this is what allows me to be me.

Perfection is an illusion—it doesn’t exist. I stopped stressing myself out trying to be perfect and now I am always aiming for “good enough.” I have learned to embrace my mistakes as much needed opportunities for growth, blessings in disguise that make me wiser. If I fail at anything, it doesn’t mean I’m a failure, because I am not what I do. Sometimes we win, sometimes we learn. We never lose.

“Your best is going to change from moment to moment: it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

2. I’ve let go of the need to be busy all the time.

Being in a rush isn’t a sign of virtue. I have learned to listen to my body, and I no longer feel guilty for doing nothing. I know I sometimes need to recharge the batteries of my body and soul, and I don’t feel like I owe anyone any explanation for doing that.

If I don’t have time for myself, I make it. Watching a good movie, listening to relaxing music, reading a good book, singing, taking a walk to connect with nature—I do whatever makes my heart sing.

“I am a human being, not a human doing. Don’t equate your self-worth with how well you do things in life. You aren’t what you do. If you are what you do, then when you don’t…you aren’t.” ~Dr. Wayne Dyer

3. I’ve let go of self-criticism.

I pay attention to my inner talk; I don’t call myself names, and I treat myself with dignity and respect. I stopped telling myself things I would never tell a good friend. I am enough, whole, and complete.

I have come to understand that in life, we don’t get what we want. We get what we think we deserve. That’s why it’s necessary to believe in ourselves and see ourselves as enough and worthy of the best things life has to offer.

“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~Louise Hay

4. I’ve let go of blaming.

I now know that each time I blame someone else, I am making myself a victim. Blaming others for taking my time, my money, or my love is unfair, because I always choose how much I give and to whom. No one can hurt me or upset me without my conscious (and often unconscious) consent.

Instead, I now take responsibility for the way I feel, act, and think. I am in charge of my actions, and I know my future is the result of my current choices. I am what I believe and whatever I choose to be.

“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, it will not change you. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.” ~Wayne Dyer

5. I’ve let go of judging.

I know that everyone is on their own journey, and my job is to focus on my own. I also know that each time I am judgmental with people, I’m reacting to something that bothers me about myself. If I believe you are mean, it means I can also be mean; how could I see that in you, otherwise?

“Placing the blame or judgment on someone else leaves you powerless to change your experience; taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgment gives you the power to change them.” ~Byron Katie

6. I’ve let go of making assumptions about what other people feel, want, or think.

I am not them, so there’s no way to know what they’re feeling and thinking.

I stopped making up imaginary scenarios and letting my mind play with me. Each time I find myself disturbed by what people do or say, I know it’s time for a reality check.

From “The Work” of Byron Katie, I’ve learned to examine the thoughts that trouble me and ask myself: “Is that true?” Many of my assumptions likely aren’t. For example, I might assume someone doesn’t like me, when really she’s just having a bad day. Or maybe she’s just shy. Not everyone is the same.

The moment I realize I can’t know what this person thinks, simply because I am not her, my mind gets clear and I am able to meet her with an open heart.

“I found that my unquestioned assumptions were the cause of all war and all peace in my world.” ~Byron Katie

7. I’ve let go of competing with others.

I now know that my need to fight is nothing but my ego’s scream for self-validation. I don’t need anyone to lose any game so that I can feel good about myself. I love harmony, collaboration, and win-wins.

I’ve stopped comparing myself to others. I choose to connect with people from a place of love instead of fear, and I believe in abundance. I choose to believe that we live in a supportive Universe, where there is enough of everything and for everyone, including myself.

“Love is cooperation rather than competition.” ~Dr. Wayne Dyer

8. I’ve let go of chasing happiness.

I no longer project my happiness into an imaginary future, hoping that someday, when I have that job, that house, that car, that success, I will be happy. I have learned to find happiness in the small pleasures of life, and I embrace the only reality that is, the present moment, with gratitude and much joy.

I stopped waiting for the weekends to feel like living because each day is a gift and every single moment is precious and equally important.

The day I shifted my focus from stressed to blessed, everything changed. I am thankful for everything I am and for everything I have: a healthy body and mind; a loving family; a few genuine, last longing friendships I’ve made over time; and a job I love and believe in.

“I have noticed that the Universe loves gratitude. The more grateful you are, the more goodies you get.” ~Louise Hay

9. I’ve let go of worrying about the future.

I accept that there are things in life that I cannot control, no matter how hard I might try. Each time I find myself worrying, I keep telling myself “Time will tell.”

I might not always get what I want, but I know I always get what I need. I trust the flow of life, and choose to believe we live in an intelligent Universe, where everything unfolds perfectly. Sometimes in life, even the time needs time.

“Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it…it’s just easier if you do.” ~Byron Katie

10. I’ve let go of pleasing others.

I no longer seek external validation so that I can feel liked or accepted. Worrying about what others think is a waste of time. Other people’s opinion of me is all about them and what they see in me, filtered through their lenses; it has zero to do with me.

I’ve stopped expecting others to give me what I wasn’t giving myself: love, care, and attention. Loving myself as a whole—body, mind, and soul—is not selfish. I keep my cup full of self-love, and I take good care of my needs and my heart’s desires.

I have learned how to make powerful choices for my highest good without worrying about disappointing people. People disappoint themselves by setting expectations for who they want me to be or what they want me to do.

Saying no to things we don’t want to do is a learned practice and a sign of self-care. If it sounds like a “should,” I don’t do it. I go for the things that feel like a want. My wants come from myself, instead of being imposed on me by others. I always choose how I am spending my precious time and with whom. I know my time is my life, and it’s never coming back.

My life is about me and I have the right to make my own choices. Life is to be lived, not existed, and I choose to live it authentically, with no apologies and no regrets.

“Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

—

My self-transformation into the mindful person I am today didn’t happen overnight. It’s been an ongoing process that required continuous inner work.

Today, I am still a student at School of Life, and every day is a great opportunity for new learning. I know that I have the power to create my own reality, by the way I think. So I make sure I nourish my mind with healthy thoughts, knowing my mind has power.

And now, I would like to hear from you. Are you holding on to any of these things? What’s preventing you from letting them go?

Not mine. This was taken from tinybuddha.com and written by Sara Fabian.

#this is one of the most inspirational posts i have ever read from the website tinybuddha #i feel that everyone should be able to learn some thing from this #sara fabian #tiny buddha #buddhist #motivational #life #life quotes #beautiful #mindfulness #positivity

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