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viperwhispered · 16 days

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Too Hard

Woop part 2 of the trip inside Jamil's head. Part 1 here.

The next time Jamil caught sight of you on campus, his first instinct was to turn around on his heel.

What a stupid thought to have because of you.

Besides, that would only make him more conspicuous, not less.

So, when your eyes met his, Jamil gave you a short nod in greeting. He would’ve left it at that and kept on his way, had you not walked up to him.

“Hi Jamil! How’s it going?” you said with that impossibly disarming smile of yours.

Why was it so difficult to look at you like he normally would? You had no right to make him feel so stiff, so unnatural.

On autopilot, Jamil exchanged a few pleasantries with you - those lessons from his parents had been instilled too deep in him for him to falter too badly in a simple exchange such as this. Still, Jamil quickly excused himself by telling you he still had to find Kalim before his next class.

Jamil didn’t miss the way your smile faltered. Had you hoped to get something out of him?

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you two later, then.”

Something about that irked him, though Jamil did not allow himself to dwell on it further.

His heart really had no business still racing as it did when he walked away, unaware of the frown on his face.

Just act normal. That’s all he needed to do.

After all, he had no time for dwelling in silly fancies.

If Jamil had been acutely aware of you before, it only seemed to worsen now that he was making a conscious effort to not act any differently with you. In fact, the harder he tried to keep you out, the more you invaded his thoughts, unsettling him.

The most innocuous words from you looped in his mind, and even the simplest actions caught his eye. For goodness's sake, he’d found himself staring at you while you were queueing up in the cafeteria the other day, not even doing anything other than standing around and looking bored!

For once, Jamil found himself grateful for all his duties. At least they provided him with something else to occupy himself with.

After all, if he was busy enough, it was difficult to think about those bright eyes of yours, your sweet laugh, or the way you bit your lip while thinking.

Still, sometimes it felt like no matter which way he turned, you were there, ready to throw him off-kilter. Not like it was his fault that often the most convenient route to class intersected with your daily routines. Or that your face seemed to jump out from any crowd, catching his attention.

Which certainly did not help his basketball performance. Jamil certainly did not recall you having such an interest in sports before, yet suddenly you were always there, distracting him. What had changed?

Could you possibly-

Jamil scoffed to himself, forcing his thoughts back on track for the nth time that day.

He picked up the tray of food and started taking it to Kalim. After dinner, he’d need to help Kalim with his homework, there were some housewarden tasks that would need dealing with, not to mention the preparations for the next-

Jamil froze in his tracks.

The voice he heard was quiet, but it was unmistakably you.

Really, it should not have come as such a surprise to him. You had become a rather frequent visitor to Scarabia, and Kalim often invited you to stay for meals. In fact, Jamil had started planning the dorm’s meal prep with your tastes and dietary restrictions in mind, just in case.

Jamil rounded the corner with strange exhilaration, his heart fluttering needlessly.

Yet, his mood evaporated when he saw you.

Why did you stop talking and look so guilty as soon as you caught sight of Jamil?

Jamil knew that look you gave to Kalim, had used it himself a thousand times. The one telling Kalim to keep quiet about something.

What could there possibly be that you would be comfortable sharing with Kalim, but not with him? That would give Kalim reason to sit so close to you, a comforting hand on your shoulder?

Jamil's mind raced with possibilities, yet could not settle for any single explanation.

He’d have to ask Kalim about it later.

Jamil gave you a short, polite greeting, his eyes lingering on you in an attempt to read what you were hiding.

“If I’d known you were coming over, I would’ve prepared something for you to eat as well,” Jamil said, already thinking about which parts of the dorm’s dinner to spruce up for you.

“Oh, no need, just figured I’d pop by. I’ll get out of your hair soon enough,” you said, something sheepish about your expression.

As expected, Kalim asked you to stay and dine with them, and with just a bit more persuasion you agreed - though not before telling Jamil that he should join you too and have himself a breather.

And since Kalim agreed with you, Jamil soon found himself sharing a meal with you and Kalim. Yet, even as he sat down with the food, his mind raced.

Had you been getting particularly close to Kalim lately? But surely Jamil would’ve noticed such a thing. Maybe someone from the dorm had been giving you trouble? But if that was the case, then surely you could let Jamil know about it, too. Unless for some reason you did not want to? But if it was something that concerned Kalim, then sooner or later it was bound to concern Jamil, too.

All the while, Kalim was talking to you about this and that, the latest topic being the animals kept on the Asim estate.

“I’ve got some pictures, let me show you!” Kalim said with an excited grin.

Only, a thorough patting of his pockets and a look around confirmed that Kalim’s phone was nowhere to be seen.

Jamil pinched the bridge of his nose. Where had Kalim left it this time?

Before Jamil even had the chance to say that he would handle it, Kalim sprinted off. Jamil hesitated for a moment, automatically halfway up from his seat, before he decided that leaving a guest unattended would be a worse offense than not helping out his master.

Jamil slumped back down with a sigh, mentally tracing the path Kalim took today, trying to recall the last time he saw Kalim handle his phone.

“Breathe. He’ll manage,” you said. There was the faintest of smiles on your lips, and Jamil could not decide if it was knowing or amused. Perhaps both.

Somehow, despite his frustration, Jamil’s own lips wanted to curl up too.

“Hmm. Maybe he will.”

Sure, Jamil could’ve called Kalim’s phone, to make it easier to find, but it was not that urgent, was it?

Jamil took another bite of his food, keeping an eye on you from the corner of his eye.

How was his mind so empty and so buzzing at the same time?

“You know-”

“So-”

You looked at each other, both just as surprised that the other had spoken up at the same time.

Even your surprised look was so-

“You first,” Jamil said. The way you bit your lip... Jamil had to raise a cup to his lips, slowly sipping his drink.

“Just… Feels like it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen you be still, you know. Or exchanged more than two words with you,” you said. You were attempting a light, joking tone, yet it was quite clear there was more to it.

“You say that like it would be unusual for me to be busy.”

He was not prepared for the way your soft sigh tugged at his heartstrings.

“No. It is not.”

You were both quiet after, poking at your meals. Normally, Jamil would’ve cherished such a moment of peace, yet this particular silence between you two was decidedly awkward.

Where was your usual chatter? Why weren’t you looking at him like you usually did?

“If you’re worried about me, don’t. I’m fine,” Jamil said, some softness creeping into his tone despite his best intentions.

“That's what Kalim said too,” you said. Yet the way you looked at Jamil made it clear you were still skeptical.

Wait.

Had you clammed up earlier because it had been Jamil you had been talking about with Kalim? That Kalim had comforted you about?

The thought twisted his stomach into knots.

Hasdhfsdf the way I fought with that last scene I swear. I don't even want to know how many versions I went through, trying to figure out how to say what I wanted without rubbing it into your face or making it too veiled. The joys of trying to convey things through a limited pov. Hopefully it came out reasonably balanced in the end. Rip to all those sentences that were lovely on their own but didn’t work for the whole. Hopefully I can rehome y’all one day. I do have thoughts for part 3 and part x (might be some chapters between those two as well, who knows at this point), so maybe we'll see those at some point, too. Tag list: @colliope @crystallizsch @diodellet @jamilsimpno69 @jamilvapologist @twstgo If you'd like to be tagged for future works, let me know! (Just be aware that sometimes I do also write nsfw, though you can certainly ask to be tagged only for particular kinds of works.)

#twisted wonderland #jamil viper #twisted wonderland x reader #jamil viper x reader #ner writes #jamil definitely knows how to deal with his feels #also writing this is making me wonder how aware jamil is of his inner versus outer life #like he’s very aware of how he comes across because that’s what he’s been told to watch out for #but how well has he truly learned to understand himself and his own feelings wants etc?#(I mean as you can tell I’m assuming not very well)#originally this went to more of a “jamil hears just the wrong part of the conversation” route but #a) I kinda hate that trope especially when it’s dragged on beyond belief and #b) Kalim maybe doesn’t want to spill anyone’s secrets but he really is such an open book especially with Jamil so #also it’s not like jamil needs the extra help to catastrophize he already does that well enough on his own 🙃#tho then I went a little too far in the other direction and had to pull back #but let's just hope I didn't edit this to death by now #also also: since I seem to have a bit of a naming theme going on for this series #if I were to be the sort to go for the angst route what part would definitely be titled Too Late or something along those lines #also x3 but loved folks commenting on that part about reader being inoffensive in the first part #I certainly had fun writing that line #(and in general extra love to everyone who leaves comments on tags replies wherever always great to read those)#(and in general chat with y'all)

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highhhfiveee · 6 months

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Mike Schmidt phone sex is eating me me alive rn

okay okay okay but on a phone call or on facetime 👉🏽👈🏽

update, i made one where they're on facetime lmao link here 📱

#bc HEAR ME OUT Y'ALL #facetime is cool and everything #but something ab phone sex over a traditional phone call...#i'm screaming without the s #i have so many ideas #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt #mike schmidt smut #fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf fic #faire’s mike schmidt <3 #faire answers asks

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ghost-proofbaby · 2 months

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well i just had an older!eddie idea that is going to haunt me.

#eddie munson #stranger things #ghost talks too much #and thinks too much #just hear me out #older!eddie and older!reader #you dye your hair to cover your greys cause society fuckin whatever and yeah yeah he's against it yes he's adorable and sweet about it all #the greys are just proof y'all are growing old together #but then one day the younger kids (who aren't very young anymore) made a joke that got him thinkin #and so he asks you to dye and help him cover *his* grey hairs #and suddenly the roles are reversed #and there's something something about worshiping him and just reminding him how you love the streaks in his hair #you love the wrinkles that show when he smiles beside his mouth and eyes #you love those subtle symptoms of aging that you've witnessed come around #it means you've loved him for many years #you get to love him for many more #idkidkidkd #i will not write this but i'm thinking about it #i wanna grow old with him and shit that's sort of gross right #booooooo #alright im done back into the abyss of trying to write #just eddie getting self concious about growing old and you reminding him how fucking metal it is i guess ALRIGHT IM REALLY DONE

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stinkyhyena9000 · 4 months

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Buster Moon Stimboard !!

For my Sing friends still out there, here's some food for y'all

🤍 💙 🤍 | 💙 🐨 💙 | 🤍 💙 🤍

Totally non-abrupt segway to a sentimental message:..

I just wanted to thank all of you for hosting such a lovely and wholesome fandom. I love we're a small community, but y'all have always made me feel so extremely loved, and I'm glad have had y'all be my first and sofar only fandom experience.

Please never stop making art and writing stories!

#I want to keep making sing videos so bad but there's a large assortment of reasons preventing me from doing so #(i say that like I haven't made a vid in like half a year)#anyways for starters I've fallen out of my over1yearlong Sing hyperfixation #It's kinda difficult for me to have motivation to spend hours on a video for a movie that I don't quite insanely love anymore #I've also been struggling to find time to watch the movie even though I very much have the time #something yada yada about ADHD and extreme time anxiety #I hope you all understand #(oh yeah also mental health has also been a detrimental but like ermm let's not talk about that y'all don't gotta hear about that lol)#ANYWAYSSSS #love y'all and please keep the fandom positive!!#buster moon #sing movie #sing 2016 #sing 2 #sing 2021 #mysing #koala stim #moon stim #star stim #blue stim #white stim #grey stim #eating stim #tie stim #red stim #fur stim #gray stim #yellow stim #stim #stimboard

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whumpfish · 8 months

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Conditioned whumpees who respond realistically to being on the outside

Whumpees who display appeasement or avoidance or incessantly apologizing or fleeing when they think someone might be upset with them

Whumpees who are afraid of the punishment they've become accustomed to

Whumpees who recreate lesser punishments to reassure themselves that they will not get the worst option

Whumpees who yell and berate themselves loudly when they make a mistake because in their mind, as long as there is yelling, the consequences end there

Whumpees who inflict small violences on themselves, hitting and pulling so that their caretaker won't have to

Whumpees who hide all the knives/potential instruments of torture if they suspect someone will be angry when they come home

Whumpees who take the initiative to try to influence or control how people respond to them and what they do

Whumpees who push boundaries, who test the waters by doing things that the whumper would have punished them for

Whumpees who keep pushing, for whom life becomes about doing the most terrifying thing they can think of just to see if no one will hurt them for it

Whumpees who do this to the point of self-detriment because their concept of what constitutes dangerous behavior is completely fucked

Whumpees who are people thrust into a world with rules they no longer know with people whom they can no longer read

Whumpees whose stories are about them and their journey into that world, not about their caretaker's shock and horror at their condition

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frankiefreakazoid · 6 months

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other people's doubts and limits are not your problem

y'all are 10x more quick to believe somebody's limits than you are somebody's success, that's why you're still stuck where you were last year

#void state #law of assumption #neville goddard #posting this for myself #don't take offense to this it's just something i need to hear personally #i am also not a loa blog don't follow me #the loa community scares me 👸🏼#but i still believe in loa #i also have beef with Neville goddard not saying he's lying but y'all gotta stop getting all of ur information from an old white guy #do ur own research #ok that's it #loassumption #shiftblr #reality shifting

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thebirdandhersong · 8 months

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well mark that down as situation 2938489 that I don't know how to handle

#i would love advice on this if y'all have any thoughts to share because i know what my parents think and im having trouble sorting it out #i love these three friends of mine but it is really draining to be around them now because all they will talk about is church drama #(re: our old church) and rehashing it all and being Outraged about the horrors etc etc #either that or being downright condescending about protestants/non denominations and acting like it's funny to talk like that all the time #i end up being more angry or resentful or exasperated at the end of our conversations than glad and at peace like i did before #(before all THIS ish happened and the three of them were like okay this is all we're going to talk about now)#i've tried to say in gentle ways (i am simply not capable of this kind of blunt confrontation) that maybe we should not be talking #so uncharitably towards other people especially behind their backs. like. yes bad things happened. we have to acknowledge that.#but continually making jokes and jibes at a priest's expense really rubs me the wrong way especially since i KNOW that he loves us #and in many ways was trying his best in the circumstances. and are we not supposed to be loving our neighbour #and is this not downright slander to keep going on this way esp since it goes on for HOURS at a time #anyway i don't know what to DO because if i keep chatting with them/meeting up with them conversation will be 90% this thing and i Hate It #but on the other hand i feel responsibility towards them because my godson's one of them and another is a friend who is a fairly recent #convert and if i leave them to stew in their own echo chamber i doubt it'll do them good #am i supposed to keep some distance? am i supposed to keep arguing whenever one of them says something unkind or inflammatory?#am i supposed to keep speaking up so that they hear a different perspective? am i supposed to run in the other direction for my own peace o #mind? anyway i am still thinking this over and it stresses me OUT #it used to be fun and life giving to be around these people and now it is so exhausting and seriously alarming in many ways

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downtherabbitholewithlucy · 4 days

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I can't be the only one who thinks this...

#I mean right?!?#anyone else do this with other songs? like you hear a specific song that always reminds you of something else whenever you listen to it?#y'all couldn't even imagine what sound effect Korn's “Worst is on its way” reminds me of whenever I hear it (hint: it's also Nick based)#Limp Bizkit #nu metal #Fred Durst #Wes Borland #Sam Rivers #John Otto #DJ Lethal #music video: My Generation #lucy the rabbit's video edits #down the rabbit hole

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saltpepperbeard · 5 months

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no because i'm over here trying to maintain a steady course and trying to not jump to conclusions and trying not to panic over out of context articles/questions/pieces of texts where i can't properly read the tone

and then rhys rolls up with-

#LIKE????#HELLO???????#i'm so #like i was kicking my legs and giggling all the way through that entire article #because it was so nice to see him so excited about getting to be a mermaid #and so so nice to finally hear him talk #AND THEN THAT JUST #WAS A SUCKER PUNCH STRAIGHT TO THE JUGULAR RIGHT THERE AT THE END?????#but like #i feel like david wouldn't........right?#RIGHT???????#*stede voice* jodi you're panicking!#*Ed voice* I'M NOT PANICKING ALRIGHT #y'all know that one spongebob gif where he's just looking forlorn at a table #that's me right now PFFFFF #like many thoughts head full but none of them are Forming Into A Fully Coherent Piece #something something piracy did end up getting killed off by the british indeed #and something something that violence is realistically going to be a threat for them #but also something something these pirates wear crocs and say 'for the lols' and bowl with british soldiers like it's nothing #so i would be SHOCKED if they did indeed get an unhappier more historically accurate fate #idk what's everyone thinking lol HOW ARE WE FEELING #BESTIES/ANONS PSSSPSPSPSPSP #OFMD #OFMD Season 3 #Rhys Darby #Gentlebeard #Blackbonnet

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misteria247 · 1 year

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Y'all know how like you'll read fanfic and you stumble over a fic that's got this pairing that you had no idea even existed till literally just now because you were searching for another tag in the same fic? So you read it and you see the pairing interact and stuff and you're like "Huh they actually work really well with one another personality wise and I can honestly see how they'd work as a couple." So you search for this pairing and suddenly you're like up to your neck deep in this new pairing before you even realized what happened???

Yeah well basically now I hilariously enough have fascination with the Luigi and Bowser pairing and I blame the series Days on ao3-

#oli talks #ooc #muns ramblings #mindless ramblings of a madman #super mario bros #smb #mario bros #the mario bros #mario brothers #Luigi #Bowser #luigi x bowser #BEFORE Y'ALL UNFOLLOW ME HEAR ME OUT I SWEAR I HAVE AN EXPLANATION-#okay so originally I was searching Mario and Luigi fanfic due to fanart I'd reblogged last night and I was like #Hmm I could go for some brotherly affection between these two idiots and it's something new so let's go #and I'm searching and I just come across this fic called Day Twenty by Useless19 #and I didn't realize it was a Luigi x Bowser fic and I'm reading it and holy shit it's like really good???? the pairing works so well???#and it's like a magical marriage type of ordeal with my favorite troupe enemies to friends to lovers #and now I'm in hell send help #I'll always love Luigi x Daisy but like god damn bro my viewpoint has been extended

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craycraybluejay · 6 months

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"You can have thought crimes but only the ones I don't personally find gross. Thought crime is real tho."

?????

We live in an era where people with public facing careers can get smeared into homelessness by an armchair diagnosis of an "unacceptable" attraction based on a drawing they retweeted and you really want to die on this hill?

"People deserve to die bc they have feelings and thoughts I don't like." Do you hear yourself.

Let's go ahead and persecute half or more of all mentally ill and queer people, too, for thinking about suicide (which is a crime in many places), murder of people abusing them or just in general bc mental illness, people with p-ocd, people with attachment disorders who want to stalk their crush (but don't do that.) In fact let's just be cruel to everyone who's ever had a "morally unacceptable" thought. Oh wait. That's most of the people on Earth. Huh.

#some of y'all don't know how to act #blocklist longer than the nile river #thought crime #step on a lego. tbh #pro para #pro kink #thoughts are not actions #thoughts cannot be crimes #random kid with an abusive parent: 'i wish i could just kill them'#the thoughtcrime police: 'GO TO JAIL YOU DISGUSTING MURDERER'#urgh #touch some grass. people's brains are not perfect moral canvasses of exactly the actions they plan to do irl #and if you think thinking something BadWrong is the same as acting on it you have a Problem that necessitates I not being around you #because that's exactly the kind of justification I hear from actual abusive people.#'oh well i needed to do it because you made me feel angry!'#but you didn't need to do it #'i needed to do that to her because i want her'#but did you though?#when people say that shit it is NOT a valid explanation. it is an excuse for abhorrent behaviour #stop asking people to justify their thoughts and start asking why your mindset is exactly the one abusers use to justify their actions #bc i promise you even people with dangerous IMPULSES who havent hurt a fly will tell u their thoughts dont justify or force them to do shit #also yall are super fucked up to people with ocd #and while i dont have ocd i am SORRY to those of you that do that are constantly bombarded with triggering moral high horsing

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withacapitalp · 1 year

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Here have a snippet of the next chapter for HTRAJ y'all :D I'm mid write and I'm vibin' with what I have so far

“He’s long gone, Eds. Can we go back inside now? It’s fucking freezing out here,” Gareth asked, rubbing at his bare arms and shivering as the frigid winter wind raced past them. Eddie could barely feel his own body, but he ignored both the cold and Gareth’s words, walking towards his van.

Steve was there. He had to be. He had to be, or else Eddie was going to lose his mind worrying over what was probably nothing, and he might say something incredibly stupid when they actually found Steve, and that would ruin everything they had worked so hard to build.

Luckily for Eddie’s increasingly fragile heart and mind, he spotted a familiar pair of beat up old converse poking out, attached to dark wash jeans that he instantly recognized. Eddie practically melted in relief, jogging around to the other side, needing to see Steve’s face.

He opened his mouth to spout off some stupid quip about dining and dashing, but he stopped short the second he saw Steve’s state. All of the relief instantly vanished, replaced by a bone deep dread that overtook Eddie’s entire being.

Steve was sitting on the ground, his knees pulled close to his chest and his eyes staring firmly at the pavement. He was as still as a statue and just as silent, barely even blinking as he took shallow uneven breaths. Eddie could see him shaking from where he stood, trembling like a leaf in the wind as he continued to just stare at nothing.

Something was wrong.

#tw anxiety #tw panic attack #htraj #Steve joins hellfire au #just feeling like sharing a lil bit #lmao I told myself I wouldn't and I'll probably end up deleting these tags so like #feel free not to read these I'm being a little petty #if I had a nickle #For every time someone clearly took 'inspiration' from an idea of mine and basically blatantly just did their own version #And then pretended like they had never even seen my thing or barely even knew about it #I would have two nickles #and that's not a lot #but its WILD that it happened twice #the worst part is if they had just been honest and been like hey you inspired me w x y z so I decided I wanted to write my own!#I would LOVE it #I would reblog it chat with htem be friends #Instead I feel like someone took something I worked on and cared about and tried to steal it and pretend they didn't #y'all I adore hearing when people wrote something bc I wrote a fic that inspired them it's such a compliment #This just feels #uncomfortable #ANYWAYS that's Liam's lil rant in the tags today #Again if you have a problem pls just ignore this it's literally just me needing to verbalize how not okay about this I am

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